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baka-bakeneko · 11 months

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Hey Mamí - Miguel O'Hara

Miguel O'hara x AFAB Reader

a/n: whether you like it or not, i will be adding a stupid part two to this

wc: 2.6k

tags: Minors DNI, NSFW, accidental breeding kink (oop), creampie, emergency contraceptives, adventures in babysitting, yearning, grief, PTSD, confessions

synopsis: Miguel learns more about himself

Miguel knew it felt way too damn good. You were so hot around him, pulsing and wet; so much wetter than before.

Condom on, it wouldn't feel this pristine. You knew it and Miguel knew it too. From behind, he held you down by the back of your neck.

He pumped into you with such a ferocity, your stomach could barely recover. Every thrust was sickening and torturous, so sweet and begging.

And you could barely contain your excitement when you felt the new feeling inside you.

"Mierda," Miguel winced, stopping his thrusts when he realized his mistake.

You whined at him, rolling your hips after him to resume his pace. "Miguel," you panted, reaching for his thigh as you rested your cheek to the mattress, glaring over your own shoulder back at him.

Pillow tucked under your stomach, you tilted your chin and pouted at him.

"Miggy," you mewled, trying to chase the building high in your stomach.

Miguel gasped hastily, pulling his hand from your throat to rest at the small of your back. He retracted his length, earning a low disappointed groan from you.

"Mi vida, th-the condom broke," Miguel murmured, leaning in as if to tell you this as a secret. He paused, his tip brushing along your folds; his cock twitched eagerly, the ring of the condom nestled at the base of his cock.

The remainder was dangling down to his sack, all of your wetness on the contraceptive tickling his skin.

"Let me get another," he reasoned, tearing off the defective piece then reaching for his nightstand to grab another.

"No," you whimpered, your knees trembling as the heat from your body began to dissipate. The slick between your thighs began to cool, no longer aiding ticklish hike of euphoria. "Forget it, please."

Miguel's brows knitted together at the back of your head, taken aback by your words. "Honey, it's right--"

"Miguel, please." You wiggled your hips, spreading your knees and curling your toes. "Just fuck me."

He gulped, weighing his options presented before him. He trusted you, he just didn't trust himself. Miguel felt that the possibility would be a high probability knowing how his life loved to make him miserable.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his chest heaving from the come down. This was a screeching halt to your fucking, just when it was getting really good.

"Yes, yes, please. I trust you." You begged, backing your hips to rub against his at-attention cock. "You'll pull out, I know you will."

Miguel's eyes crossed, rolling at the carnal warmth that coated his cock. He gave up instantly, guiding his tip back between your folds then pressing into you again.

Your hand reaching out for his thigh now reached for his cheek, pulling him to bend over you. "Fuck me raw, Guel. Make it good."

The lecherous snarl that gained traction to a growl reverberated from his chest and into your back. Your eyes twitched in pleasure, your body short-circuiting when his cock bottomed out.

Entranced, Miguel returned to his original pace. His hands caged you to the mattress with his hands grabbing into the sheets; his claws punctured through the plush top of the bed, ignoring the thought of property destruction as he relished in your slick warmth.

"What if I don't pull out, hmm?" Miguel spat into your ear, slamming you into the mattress.

Your bottom lip was bit tensely between your teeth, threatening to gnaw through it. Your stomach fluttered at his question, unable to answer.

You only twitched your hips up in response. Miguel husked against your temple, forcing his cheek over yours. He bared his teeth lewdly, the string of spit twanging with his snarl.

"You want to be fucked full, don't you?" Miguel taunted, stopping to roll his hips into you. "You want to be bred."

You squeezed your eyes shut, your hand holding at Miguel's cheek now holding at his neck. You didn't respond still, only rode his thrusts into the mattress.

The pillow tucked under you shifted further, propping your hips up when you finally lost strength in your back.

"I'll admit, it's sick of you to want my babies, hermosa," Miguel snapped, taunting his teeth to bite playfully at your cheek. "But who am I to deny mi reina?"

You whimpered, releasing your swollen lip to pant up at Miguel's mouth. "I-I'll take your babies."

Miguel's snarl peeled back his lips, his nose scrunching as he planted a foot onto the mattress and began a whole new pace; one that effectively caused a pain in your lower back.

"I know you will. Mi hermosa puta." His words held the distinct lash with his tone, however soft, still felt so delicious and awful to be called.

You nodded along to his words, knowing they weren't meant heinously but driving that heat further up.

"I'll fuck you full of my cum, and when you're done, I'll cum again," Miguel said, only driving himself wilder into your hips.

His thrusts were lost to the metronome now, pistoning his steel cock in and out of you until your body couldn't sustain the pummeling anymore.

Your back curled up as your arms and legs tensed, your entire body seizing the opportunity of animalistic pounding to orgasm on Miguel's throbbing cock.

The gush of slick from your pussy drove Miguel mad, chasing your high with his own.

Pulling his hands back, he grabbed at your hips and forced a final thrust into you, securing himself deep within your walls as he came.

The two of you caught your breath, gulping and panting collectively while Miguel remained firmly inside you. After the quick come down, Miguel straightened up behind you realizing his mistake and pulling out.

You'd told him, said you trusted him, and here Miguel was watching his hot seed spill out of your pussy. He wanted to relish in the sight, something so sinful yet savory.

He tempted to use his thumb to push his essence back into you, hold it there with the thought of owning you. But he shook his head, backed off of the bed and grabbed a smattering of strewn-about clothes.

"Nena, get dressed for me, hmm? We gotta go to the corner store."

You stood, brain effectively fucked out of you, close behind Miguel. He'd dragged you out of bed, knees still fawn-strength, pulled his hoodie over your body and led you to the convenience store.

Your eyes lulled as you leaned into Miguel, feeling the sluggish trail of his cum begin its way to your inside knee. You smiled lazily at the cashier while Miguel rested his arms on the counter, narrowing his eyes to stare at the options of emergency contraceptives behind the worker.

"I need... two of that one, right there," he politely ordered, pointing at the priciest box in the far left corner. Miguel had pulled his hood up, adorned his glasses for this midnight excursion.

You curled your arms around Miguel's elbow, his hoodie draping well past your knees. "Honey..."

"In a second, hermosa. We'll get this and go home, yeah?" He reasoned, not tearing his eyes from the cashier as he rang the two boxes up.

You leaned further into Miguel, pressing your knees together to stop the slow tide of cum to decorate more of your skin.

"Anything else?" the cashier asked, looking from Miguel to you in a post-fuck daze.

"No, that's it," Miguel said finally, producing his wallet and sliding a large bill across the counter.

He wasted no time taking one of the boxes and handing over to you. "I guess I could've gotten you a drink, huh, nena?"

You shrugged, tearing into the box to produce the singular pill worthy of Miguel's scientific praise. He didn't stare at you as you worked up enough spit to swallow the pill on your way back to his apartment.

His arm circled your waist, walked you into his elevator and then back into his home. You blinked slowly, tossing away the empty box when you were inside then shrugged off his hoodie to take a shower.

Miguel's eyes remained on you, stopping in his tracks when you turned towards the bathroom; he bent to pick up his hoodie from the floor, staring at your slickened thighs also sticky with his cum.

And the thought of you walking out of the house like that, parading your bred body like that. Miguel's mind blanked, following you into the bathroom and bending you over the counter.

"You look so good with my cum in you, hermosa." Miguel breathed into your ear, his free hand petting over your full sex.

He tenderly folded two fingers into you, drawing a low moan out. You arched to the bathroom counter, hands reaching out blindly to gain leverage.

Miguel's other hand went for your mouth, two fingers hooking into your cheek as your forehead braced the mirror.

"I want to decorate you with it, from now on," he whispered, kissing the back of your bare shoulder.

You moaned at his confession, his fingers beginning to pump into you. You nodded along with him. "You should invest in more Plan B, then."

Mayday crawled over Miguel's shoulder then perched at the back of his neck. You reached your hands out to take her, but she was more than occupied crawling over Miguel.

"Do you want me to take her?" you asked softly, resting your hand on your boyfriend's thick bicep.

Miguel hid the grit of his teeth, the tense of his jaw as Mayday crawled about his skin like an itch he couldn't relief. "No, nena, I'm fine."

Peter B. had Mayday, but he couldn't have his own daughter? He knew that in some realm, some insignificant distant verse much like the one he visited before, would have him happy again. Would have her around.

What he wouldn't give to do it right just once. Your hand went for Miguel's, moving his sudden blind grip from touching the hot pan you'd pulled from the stove.

"Miguel? What's wrong?"

Your concern was genuine, Miguel knew it in his heart of hearts, but there would be no instance in which you'd understand his full plight.

"Nothing, mi amor," Miguel said, reaching at his shoulder to pluck the crawling toddler from him like a full-bellied tick. "Here, I think la mono mono needs a diaper change."

You flashed a grin at him, taking the little redhead baby in your arms. "Distracting me from picking your brain? Smart man."

Miguel scoffed in response, turning back to the stove to peel the cookies from the baking sheet. "Go, then we can feed her and watch our movie."

You take Miguel's order with a grain of salt, knowing his bite wasn't aimed at you. Turning your attention to Mayday, you pulled her over your head and lowered her cheek to your lips. "Let's give Tío Guel some space, huh May?"

Miguel glanced over his shoulder after you, watching you walk Mayday to the bedroom. He reached for the sheet itself, hissing lowly at the pain that centered in his palm.

He stared at his hand clutching the heated metal, allowing the pain to dull while he weighed his thoughts. He'd never tell you. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to admit that while he wanted a Mayday, he wanted Gabriella specifically.

And he didn't know if it was you or him that brought her around, but if it wasn't her, he didn't know if he could do it. But Miguel saw how you handled a Mayday, the Mayday, and the affection in your eyes when you stared at the little redhead.

Who was Miguel to deny that of you, if you truly wanted it. And Miguel didn't want any other man to give that to you. You were marked by him, spoiled by him like the two of you egged on every night.

You stood in the doorway with Mayday affixed on your hip, holding her hand around your finger. "Maybe you'll get a cookie, huh? Tío Guel needs some sweets for his sour too."

Looking at Miguel, your brows furrowed in concern. His hand tenderly gripped at the still-hot but empty baking sheet. You sat Mayday down in the living room then went to Miguel.

Rubbing between his shoulders, you leaned into his view. "Miggy?"

Miguel snapped back into the present, setting down the baking sheet and turning to you. "Sorry, mi amor, I was thinking."

You quirked your brow in question, one that Miguel refused to answer as he picked up a cookie and went to the fridge for Mayday's pre-made dinner.

He moved away from you, giving the toddler her cookie then putting the dinner in the microwave. "Go. Sit. I'll be there in a minute."

You stared further at him, tilting your head ready to ask him what was going on in his head.

"Hermosa, go sit." He ordered, his tone holding a bit more bite than usual. You flinched softly at his words, his volume never raising but catching you off guard still.

Miguel noticed and bit at his own tongue, regretting his bark. He took hold of your arms and leaned in to kiss your temple. "Relax. I've got this."

Miguel sat up in bed, staring down at you curled against his waist. You'd been telling him about your day with Mayday while he was at headquarters. The two of you went for some ice cream, a walk around the park, a stop by the petting zoo and the pool before she was passed out by the time you came back to his apartment.

Whether or not you actively told him, Miguel knew how much you cared for the little being. Maybe you strived to have one of your own, but Miguel wouldn't ask.

He ran a hand down your back, soothing you through your simpers. "I had a daughter, in another life. Another universe, much like this one."

He began, but didn't know when or where he should stop. Miguel wanted to tell you his holdbacks, his true fear. So he did, and he didn't spare an inch in scouring his soul clean.

He confessed that, in his weakest point, he took his own place in raising his daughter. The confusion got to him so he referred to the other one as 'Him' only.

"He had Gabriella, a loving wife, a happy life. I wanted that. And I took His place when He met his end."

Miguel wasted no time to butcher his intentions, knowing that it was selfish of him to swoop in and take everything another version worked so hard to build.

"And I knew I'd never be able to be happy," he pointed out, pausing to look down at you again. He'd fixated on a dark spot in the bedroom corner and lost himself in confession. "Until you."

Miguel wouldn't bring up the kink that was deeply festered and grown from this sore spot within him; his body yearned for something more to tether to, he craved his own happiness.

But that stemmed from you. And your womb was not his to own, to stake claim onto if you didn't want that.

"I do want a baby, mi amor, and I know it's selfish of me to say that I only want one. But I want Gabriella."

You stirred softly, not enough to let Miguel know you were awake. But you were, and you'd heard every word of his bleeding heart.

You shifted, hiding the tense feeling in your stomach from his admission. What did this mean for the two of you?

"I'm not hung up on it, if you aren't." Miguel tried to smooth over his tides, running his hand over your shoulders. "I've been in my head since that night."

You remembered that night, it was hard to forget. Miguel barely let up until day broke, and went back to the convenience store with the same shamed look on his face the night before.

Despite his best efforts and attempts though, you and Miguel had created a mess that wouldn't be easily mulled over.

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i dunno, i made this bc i had an idea and then it got angsty and then it felt sad soooo

#fanfic #fan work #miguel ohara #miguel x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara one shot #astv miguel #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #spiderman 2099 #across the spiderverse

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jewish-vents · 4 months

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something that I don't think non-jews realize is just how fucking terrified all Jews have been ever since the world stopped pretending it cared about us.

We always felt othered, we always were persecuted, we've always been cautious, we've always been afraid, we've always known that at the end of the day the only people we can truly trust is each other. We just were hopeful that maybe this time we didn't have to be so afraid of other people.

But after October 7th, the world stopped pretending to care about Jews, they stopped acting like they don't see us as vermin, they've stopped treating us as human.

The Holocaust deniers are out in full force, there are Nazis everywhere, the conspiracy theories are gaining traction, the rates of antisemitic attacks have skyrocketed, lists of Jews are being published, dog whistles are cropping up everywhere, students don't feel safe in their classes, people don't feel safe at work, Jews don't feel safe anywhere. Because we're not.

Jews have a uniquely horrible history of being persecuted and murdered. We all carry so much generational trauma. We are taught the warning signs from birth, and what we're seeing now is terrifying.

Ask any Jew, they will tell you how much this reminds them of pre-Holocaust Germany. They will tell you how this reminds them of pre-Inquisition Spain. They will tell you how this reminds them of the Russians, the Romans, the Greeks. They will tell you how this reminds them of the buildup to every major pogrom, every wide-scale genocide attempt, of every time that we were almost destroyed.

We've been here dozens of times before, and we know where this is going.

Your Jewish friends are not okay, your Jewish neighbors are not okay, your Jewish coworkers are not okay.

Would you be okay if you knew for a fact that very soon something absolutely horrible is going to happen to you and the ones you love? Would you be okay if you knew for a fact that your life is in danger? Would you be okay if everywhere you went you see people calling for your death?

Would you be okay if you knew that nobody cared?

#jewish vents #jumblr #antisemitism #antisemitism on tumblr #october 7 #leftist antisemitism #holocaust denial #holocaust inversion #shoah mention #nazi tw #genocide

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sunsetkerr · 10 months

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SAMMY'S GIRL | s.kerr

summary: headcanons on your relationship with sam.

pairing: fem!reader x sam kerr

notes: love these, let me know if you want more. send any asks/thoughts/questions about sammy's girl that you would like to, I would love to chat xx

knowing sam since you were kids (like 7-8)

you hated soccer (refused to call if football)

your family was mad about real football (afl, obviously)

and sam played footy with you at the same club

but when she first started playing soccer at age 12, she fell in love with it

consequentially, forcing you- her best friend

into loving it too

(no matter how much you refused)

bye bye afl

she would talk nonstop about players who she loved

Ronaldo this

ronaldo that

who the fuck is ronaldo

you didnt care

you were just glad sam was happy

you only really started to care, when you realised how talented sam was

even though you hated soccer

you showed interest for her

because wow, she was good

you would go to her games on saturday mornings

wore her club jumper to games

and would sit in the car on cold mornings with her parents

honking the horn if she scored

sometimes cheering out the window

you gradually learnt more and more about the game from sam

it became her entire life

and because sam was your entire life, it became yours too

at sleepovers you both would stay up and watch games

her nudging you awake when you were falling asleep

her shaking you awake if her favourite player scored or there was a dodgy penalty/free

you detested staying up late for soccer games, but if it made sam happy you would do it

as you got older and went to high school, sam was being taken more seriously

local news outlets were getting hold of how talented she was

scouts started coming out to her games

it was suddenly all about sam and her talent

(about time)

you watched her first game for the matildas in 2009 against Italy when she was subbed on

you cried when she stepped on the pitch, screaming as loud as you could

she heard you

that night, hugging her after the game, you realised that sam wasn't just your best friend

you continued to support her as you went through school

sam was playing more and more

it was getting harder to stay in contact

she was flying around the world with the matildas, playing game after game

training after training

match after match

but you didnt mind

because you knew that she would always come back to you

and she did

you spent the time that she had off together

spending december holidays together

christmas at your place, new years at hers

every moment that sam was home she spent with you

thats when she realised that you were more than her best friend

on the night of sam's first goal, she tied the game against north korea

you cried again

you couldn't help it

you were just so proud of her

she backflipped on the pitch, something she had been practicing since you were little

(something she had been trying to teach you do to since you were little)

afterwards, she ran over to near where you were sat in the stands with her family and celebrated with you

you knew you loved her in that moment

that night, in her room

you kissed

you were sharing the hotel bed, both crammed into a king single

like you had done all throughout your childhood

and you told her how proud of her you were

leaning into the silence, sam kissed you

after you both just stared at each other

"I'm sorry" she said

"don't be" you whispered back

and you never spoke about it the next morning

sam went off to play world cups

you stayed home and watched every game you could

messaging her phone throughout

she gained more traction, she was only getting better and better

and she knew that you were always behind her

you were her rock

you kissed again after sam's first world cup

it was on your 17th birthday

it was just the two of you, everyone else had left for the night

"when do you leave again?" you asked her

"I fly to Brisbane next week" she told you

you didnt say anything after that for a while

just sat in silence

you laid facing each other once again, just like you had the year before

and it was unspoken what you both wanted to happen

you moved your head closer to hers

she did the same

"I dont want you to go" you whispered

"I know, but I have to"

"I know"

more silence

"I'll miss you" she said

"I'll miss you more"

in that moment you made up your mind

and you kissed her

"I really like you sam" you told her

"I really like you too"

from then on, you both were unofficially together

there were no labels for your relationship

but everyone already knew that you both were a package deal

sam and y/n

y/n and sam

so no one suspected a thing

it went on like this for years

you went into your 20s together

watched sam become more and more successful

she made strides in her career and was signed to perth glory and then to sky blue

she won awards on awards

scoring more goals than majority of other players

she was a star

sam was traded to chicago

that hit you guys hard

but you weren't together.. so?

what could you do?

you spent every moment you could talking to sam when she was awake

vice versa

sams world involved two things: football and you

no matter the awards or the accolades, you were the biggest prize in her eyes

she thanks you profusely in her young australian of the year speech

she is so grateful every day to have you

as you were trying to stumble your way through uni

sam would try her best to fly you out to games so she could see you

call her selfish

she doesn't care

she just wanted to see you

in 2019 she was signed to chelsea

and whilst you were over there watching a match

the country went into lockdown

you were stuck in London

going home wasn't an option at that point in time

so you stayed with sam

and even after lockdown was lifted

you stayed with sam

you both realised the going back and forth was stupid

you loved each other

she told you so

you were watching an old football match

sam engrossed in the game, trying to watch for technique

when you completely broke her out of her trance by screaming at the ref for a shit free kick

she watched as you shouted at the tv

and then she said without thinking

"I love you"

with the biggest, goofiest grin on her face

you just stared at her, eyes wide

she had told you that she had loved you before

but you both knew that this was different

and so you said "I love you too sam"

that night you finally discussed labels

and sam officially asked you to be her girlfriend

you quite liked having the title after however many years of waiting

but she was worth the wait

so you moved all your stuff over to London when you could and started your life in London with sam

travelling back to Australia when you needed to

or when you missed home a little too much

and you watch every game that you possibly can

and now.. you even call it football

#headcanons . * • .#sam kerr x reader #sam kerr one shot #sam kerr imagine #woso one shot #woso imagine #woso x reader #sammy's girl . * • .

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jogetsobsessed · 9 months

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Hi! I saw your requests are open, I would like to request with paul with fem!reader if you're interested. Some agnst with paul's anger issues, like they argue and he lost it and hurt reader she's gonna have a scar like a reminder for it. But with fluff in the end?

It's okay if you don't want to, I give it a try! Have a lovely day/night!😊 (English not my first sorry if it doesn't make sense)

The car swerved across the faded yellow lines as more and more tears began to cloud your vision. The pain that was radiating across the left side of your body was paralyzed, and while all you wanted to do was curl into a ball underneath your covers and disappear from the world you knew you couldn't. You weren't really planning on bleeding out tonight.

Blindly you turned off the road, tires rolling a bit to gain traction once they hit the gravel road. Low-hanging branches were narrowly missed as you charged up the driveway, praying that they wouldn't care about your car spraying gravel everywhere.

Slowly you put the car into park, grimacing as your body minorly twisted. Heavy breaths left your lips as you gathered the strength to push the door open. You didn't know how long you were actually sitting there in your parked car because every second felt like a month.

But you could make out the car door clicking open, feeling it softly pull away from where your body was slouched against it. Worried murmurs were all you could make out, as your own breathing was all you could hear in your cloudy eardrums.

Your body was lifted from the seat, which was easy considering you were already curling into a ball and hadn't bothered to put a seatbelt on. The frigid skin you were pressed against was such a stark contrast from what you were used to being pulled against that it only added to the shock you were in.

Concerned faces stared down at you, like patrons at a zoo. If you were competent you would have hated this, hating being looked at as weak. But now isn't the time for ego fragility.

------------

You woke up two days later.

Laying in one of the Cullens guest rooms you slowly opened your eyes listening for the familiar sounds of the pack, only to be met with radio silence. You had been confused at first, but once you noticed your left arm bandaged everything slowly came rushing back to you. The physical pain of your newly stitched arm mashing with the emotional heartache that you were feeling was overwhelming.

It was sometime around then when the Cullens made themselves known. The comforting presence of Esme and Alice soothed you slightly as you bit back the waterfalls of tears that no doubt would be released the second you stepped foot behind the solitude of your own home.

You had to practically get down on your knees and beg Carlisle to let you leave, he wanted you to stay for observation but you needed to get out of there.

He let you go on the condition that one of his children drive you home, Edward volunteering so Bella would be able to get you inside your house and help you settle in.

“Y/N are you sure you are good to be by yourself? You can come back to mine, Charlie wouldn't mind”, she was genuine for once, it looked good on Bella.

“Bell’s as much as I love your dilf of a father, I really just want to be alone”

Her laugh was soft and brought a smile to your face. The two of you hadn't always got along but the both of you realized along the way that having an ally in the girlfriends of supernatural beings club was beneficial. Different struggles took place, but she was easier to relate to than someone like Jessica.

---------

Bella hadn't been gone for more than an hour when you heard the banging on your front door. Panic shot through you at first. You were lounging in your living room, your brain foggy from sleep and the pain medication Carslile had been kind enough to prescribe for you.

You felt vulnerable, which was something that you weren't used to, since you normally had your protective presence around you.

It wasn't stopping, only getting louder and more urgent.

So in a great effort, you pulled yourself up from the couch, hobbling towards the door. Glancing through the peephole you saw the one person that could stop your breath every single time.

Even when you thought you hated him, he still had the same effect on you.

He heard the lock click and pushed the door open, barely giving you enough time to move out of the way.

Instantly his arms were on yours, as he looked you over. He was visibly wincing at the sight of your heavily bandaged arm.

“Why are you here Paul?”, the swooning effect was gone, and all the emotions that you had been harboring were coming forward.

“God Y/N, I was coming to see you, there's no reason to be so hostile”.

“Hostile, I am being hostile? Paul, I have every reason to be hostile. Last time we were in the same room it didn't exactly end well”, you yelled gesturing towards the bandage.

He was at a loss for words.

He opened his mouth and started to speak but nothing came out.

You couldn't bear to look at him. The look of absolute regret and sadness was shattering your heart. His soft cries were the final straw for you.

Collapsing on the couch you placed your head in your hands sobbing, shaking your entire body.

No matter how much you had cried since the incident you still had so much emotion over it.

He mirrors your actions, falling down next to you.

------------

“I don't know how I will ever make this up to you. It's not excusable, but I just don't know what came over me”.

You knew that it wasn't excusable. He had come home and made an over-pack business. You had been cleaning the kitchen, completely minding your own business. But when he burst through the door, he made his business your business.

You had asked him what was wrong and received no response. He stomped through the house and out the back door. Something came over you and you followed him. In hindsight, you don't know why you did. But once you got out back you saw him throwing stuff into the woods, clearly not caring about breaking anything.

It was then that you yelled at him to knock it off and act like an adult, not a three-year-old throwing a tantrum.

Within an instant you were lying on your back, the wind completely knocked out of your lungs.

“Dr. Cullen said that it could have been worse. Only the upper portion is going to scare. He was able to stitch the lower part tightly enough”.

“Y/N, every single day I am going to make this up to you if you let me. The scar… it's going to be a reminder that I have to try harder and that I have to be better”.

“You have to prove it to me Paul. We are not going to just go back to how we are. We need to work past this. But I know we can”.

“Thank you Y/N. I love you so much and please believe me that I will make it up to you”.

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There wasn't much fluff at the end, sorry. Let me know if you want a pt 2 potentially to get the full amount of fluff.

#edward cullen #fanfic #imprint #paul lahote #twilight #paul lahote x reader #fem reader #x reader #sam uley #seth clearwater #jogetsobsessed #wolf pack x reader #request

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celestiababie · 1 year

Text

Cat Cam- W.JH

Pairings: camboy! Jun x gn! reader (kinda)

Genre: just pure smut ngl

Warnings: mild pet play, male masturbation, indirect mentions of other members, cum eating, use of petnames (prettyboy, baby, babyboy, kitten) reader's username is princesspeach so jun calls them princess at one point. tbh this is just jun jerking off..idk what else to add

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Okay so, I meant to post this a while ago, but a lot was going on in my personal life. Sorry that it's so short...and I didn't edit it that much, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Feedback is always appreciated, please don't be a silent reader!

"Oh! There's a package from sweet_tangerines. Thank you very much! The last item you sent ended up being my most viewed clip when I used it, so I have a good feeling about this one," Jun said as he waved the box to the camera.

Jun winks into the camera, causing an influx of horny messages to scroll by on his screen, and the tips he made sure to thank as he opened up the package set in his lap.

Truthfully this was what he loved most about his job, the attention. How he could do anything, and his viewers would eat it up graciously, leaving messages that made his ego (and something else) swell.

At first, it meant to be a side hustle, a way to dig him out of the student debt and bills he was suffocating in. His paychecks sure as hell weren't cutting it, and he needed an answer to his problems fast.

Really fast.

Luckily for Jun, his prayers were answered one fateful night while browsing his favorite pornsite, cock in hand. Yeah, he was struggling, but everyone deserves to make themselves feel good. And if he was paying for his phone not to get shut off, he might as well make good use of the wonders of the internet.

Usually skipping over the ads, he couldn't help but hover his finger over the button, tilting his head as a light bulb went off in his head as he watched a girl in the ad promote a cam website.

Jun never considered himself egotistical, but he was far from blind to his attractiveness. He had a handsome face, a body he worked hard for despite taking up extra shifts at his job, and a pretty cock, in his opinion. Who wouldn't want to watch him jerk off? He could do that for a few months, and all his problems would be solved.

And so he did, making an account and gaining traction pretty quickly due to his looks and how much he interacted with the audience.

A year later, he was still going live for his viewers, not just for the money, but because jerking off without thousands of eyes on him didn't do it for him anymore. He needs the attention to cum; the times he tried without left him only more sexually frustrated than before he began.

Another perk of the job was undoubtedly the gifts he received over the year, but with the package in his lap now opened, he was starting to question his audience's sanity.

Jun typically refrained from kink shaming, but a pair of cat ears? Really?

"Sweet_tangerines, I'm not sure what you expect me to do with this, but I'll put it on just for you," Jun shyly smiled into the camera before going off-screen, causing his viewers to start guessing what the item could be.

sweet_tangerines: he's gonna look so CUTE!!

dinonono: is it a thong? I'm betting on a thong

gyubear97: I don't know what it is but I want it to be a thong 💓

princesspeach: whatever it is, I know our baby boy will look so sexy

princesspeach tipped 500 coins!

Jun hears his tips go off from the corner of his room as he adjusts the cat eats on his head. A blush washed over him at the sound signifying a big tip, knowing exactly who it was.

His favorite reoccurring viewer was going to watch him pleasure himself dressed up in cat ears…

Jun took one last look in the mirror before making his way back to his desk, his head out of frame due to his height and hiding the surprise from everyone. Once he plopped down onto his chair, he was sure his computer was ready to crash with how fast the chat was moving.

His shyness slowly faded as he tried to keep up with the messages as much as possible.

"I see that you guys like the cat ears. We should all thank sweet_tangerines for this generous gift," his deep voice rang out to his audience, almost as if he was teasing them for enjoying this so much.

But truthfully, he was enjoying it just as much.

Maybe not the cat ears specifically, but all the attention he was receiving because of it sure had an effect, his cock straining against his jeans, a visible tent forming, which people quickly took note of.

princesspeach: the kitty is getting hard already. you haven't even touched yourself. you should show us, pretty boy.

Jun bit his lip as he caught your message in the sea of others, making eye contact with the camera knowing you were paying full attention to him.

His hand mindlessly starts rubbing his thigh, inching further up until he palms himself, squeezing the sides of his shaft through his jeans and giving some relief. His head tilts back in his chair, eyes closing as he basked in the fact thousands were watching him tease himself.

princesspeach: show us your pretty cock

princesspeach tipped 300 coins!

The sound of another big tip forces Jun's eyes open, reading out the message and thanking you for the tip as he stands up to shimmy out of his jeans.

He takes his sweet time taking off his underwear, the band of his boxers sliding along his cock before his full length slaps against his toned abdomen, another wave of messages causing his cock to twitch.

Sitting back down, he makes eye contact with his webcam again with his cock in his hand. He slowly begins to pleasure himself, feeling his veins pulse in his grip as he moves his hand up and down along his shaft.

"How was everyone's day? I hope all of you can lay down and relax with me," he practically purrs, his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

princesspeach: how’s your hand feel, kitten? your cock is leaking so much

“Fuck, it feels so good. I wish it was you around my cock instead, baby…” Jun’s eyes flutter at the sight of the nickname, his cock jolting in response, a bead of precum leaking out of the slit of his tip. He presses his finger against the sticky substance, pulling his finger away, causing a trail of his precum to follow his finger, glistening in the mood lighting in his bedroom, driving his viewers further into a state of desire.

His intense gaze captivates his audience through the camera as he brings his finger to his lips, his tongue darting out to lick his arousal off his fingertip before sliding two digits into his wet mouth, his tongue swirling around them as his other hand takes hold of his cock, jerking himself off faster this time around.

gyubear97: oh my fucking god this is so hot…i’m not gonna last

dinonono: me neither tbh, the cat ears are a nice touch

sweet_tangerines: shit, he always looks good

princesspeach: see how many people love seeing you jerk that pretty cock, kitten? I bet you love the attention

princesspeach: such a pretty slut for us

princesspeach: I’d love to stuff your cock in my mouth, make you cum down my throat

Jun can’t help but focus solely on your messages, the words flying by fast, but fueling his pleasure, getting closer and closer to his impending climax.

Jun takes a second to tug his shirt over his head, finally giving his viewers a good look at his stunning body, the mood lighting emphasizing the hills and valleys of his abs. He chuckles at the immediate response he receives while he readjusts the cat ears on his head that nearly fell off his head while removing his shirt.

He sits back in his chair, his right hand quickly moving back to his cock, his left one rubbing up and down his stomach before inching further up to tease at his nipples, moans slipping out of him as more precum leaks out of his cock, making it easier to fuck himself with hand.

At some point, Jun’s eyes close fully, losing himself to the pleasure as his head falls back on the headrest of his chair, his adam’s apple bobbing as he desperately tries to swallow his moans but fails miserably.

Almost anyone would agree that this was one of the most sinful sights they ever laid their eyes upon.

The man's body on full display, cute cat ears adorning his head despite his acts being anything but cute. How the perspiration on his body glistened as he got more worked up, the dark red flush of his cock as it leaked precum continuously, his cock glossy from his arousal and emphasizing every vein along his shaft.

princesspeach: babyboy gonna cum for us?

princesspeach tipped 300 coins!

princesspeach: cum for me baby

princesspeach: I'll cum with you

The notification sound of your tip forces his eyes to reopen, making the grave mistake of looking at the messages that followed.

Jun's hips stutter, fucking into his hand uncontrollably as he finally falls over the edge, his whole body burning hot as flashes of pleasure run through his body.

"T-thank you for the tip, p-princess," he moans out, thick globs of cum slipping out of his slit and onto his hand as he desperately tried to ride out his orgasm for as long as possible.

Once it felt like too much, he finally pulled his hand away from his softening cock, reveling in the light and blissful feeling he get when he had an intense orgasm. He pants heavily, taking a good couple of minutes to regain control of himself before he blinks up at the ceiling.

dinonono: damn, he came more than usual today

sweet_tangerines: i hope he uploads today's stream…i need to rewatch it

gyubear97: I already came twice…

Jun finally looks back into the camera, a subtle smirk across his lips as he raises his cum covered hand to his face to lick it off.

princesspeach: does the kitten like cleaning himself off? tastes good, doesn't it?

Jun chuckles softly at your comment as he licks off the remainder of his cum.

"I think it's time I wrap up this stream, guys. I had a lot of fun and hope all of you enjoyed yourselves as well. I'll do another stream in two days but don't worry! Tonight's stream will be posted to hold you over in the meantime. Have a good night, everyone!"

Jun winks into the camera before waving goodbye, his free hand moving to his desk to stop his stream.

He lets out a huff as he leans back in his chair, too lazy to get fully cleaned and dressed just yet, but the ringing of his phone from his bedside table forces him to get up out of his chair.

He rolls his eyes despite the blush on his face when he sees who's calling, taking a deep breath before sliding his thumb across to answer.

"Did you have to call me right after I closed the stream?"

"Oh shush, I'm only calling to ask if I should come over tomorrow since you won't be live."

Jun bites his lip at the offer, his mind thinking back to the times he's had you in his bed.

"You can come over, baby. I'll even wear the cat ears since you seemed to like them so much," he purrs into the phone.

"I'll hold you to that, kitten."

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istarveforplatonicptnstuff · 1 month

Text

Chameleon, as your psychology professor pt.2

An: Here we go again... 😀 The way that I never anticipated that it would gain so much traction... 😶 I think I wrote this while I was visiting the Floptropica islands...

- A few months have passed, Rebecca had made you her favorite student to talk to 🤨 Your anxiety around her lessened, but it didn't mean that you didn't have it anymore. After the class, she would ask you to stay behind sometimes, making people suspicious between about your relationship with Rebecca... Like wdym stay behind class? 🤨🤨🤨 Are you secretly Rebecca's cousin? Or MAYBE you're her long lost younger sister??? 🤩🤩🤩 Do ya'll even look alike??? 🤔 This people smh... 😶 You and your professor talk about normal stuff, ranging from the how was the class to your anxious state, in which you happily reported to her that you weren't too anxious there days. Girlie is curing you slowly but surely by the power of ✨psychology✨ - Though, you started to suspect something about your professor, making it a little difficult for you to talk to her, because you recently found out about "Suspect R" from the news, and how eerily similar the descriptions were matching between her and the suspect... 😨😨😨 Sis, what is going awnnnn? 😫 Of course, your professor didn't miss the way how your behavior changed, causing her to chat with you one day, pocket watch in hand. Typical hypnotism, of course.. 😐 EXCEPT, it didn't work??? 😯 on YOU??? 🧐🧐🧐 POOKIE was confused, very confused. Like wdym it didn't work??? You're supposed to get hypnotized? 🙄 You unknowingly made things harder for her. 🤐🤐🤐 - After staring 👁👄👁 at the pocket watch just like she asked, you start asking her about how she came to this job. She answered that she knew a friend, and that friend recommended her to this university. You didn't buy it 😃 Sis, you were ON to something 🤫🤫🤫 You have a feeling that things weren't just this simple. In fact, it was TOO simple 🧐 that you decided to investigate like Scooby-doo 🍦🐕‍🦺 Sis didn't anticipate that. Maybe you should've just stayed, curious? 💀 Oh, she definitely COMING to get you, you think? 😔 Count your days pookie... 😰😰😰 After that, there was this... weird tension between the two of you whenever you talked with her. 😟 Pookie... Remember when I said I cannot keep giving ya'll plot armor...? Now is the correct time to rethink your decisions in life pooks 😿😿😿 I FEAR 😨 you are NOT coming out of this ALIVE ☠☠☠ - You decide to research more about "Suspect R", finding out more and more similarities between the two, you start to get more suspicious day by day... Even after two semesters have passed, you COULDN'T just shake the feeling that she was NOT who you thought she was... Meanwhile, Rebecca was STRUGGLING 😰 to get you to STOP from finding out more about her ✨mysterious✨ background like girl... Don't ruin the mystery 😩 You're making it harder for her to keep her job 🥺 Sis, I beg of you to STOP before she gets sniffed 🤧 out by local police force and co. 🛐🛐🛐 Pookie... What you didn't know Rebecca already had anticipated the arrest when she was at her clinic... So, when she disappeared suddenly, you kinda missed her??? 😔😔😔 Like wdym where your favorite professor was??? 😕 The way you searched 🔍🔍🔍 for her endlessly, asking teachers, students left ⬅and right ➡ The title was misleading guys, she ain't your professor no more 😶 - That it was so BAD, that it cured your anxiety ridden state, after initiating conversations yourself 😶 Congrats??? Years passed, and you finally graduated from the course, without signs, from your professor Rebecca... Sis was probably your roman empire... You went on with your life a bit, becoming MBCC's resident psychologist. Surprise, surprise, you're chief's cousin 🤪🤪🤪 so, your cuz personally recommended you to work at the MBCC as their psychologist, making you a menace for both sinners and Nightingale to watch out for 😈😈😈 Like wdym a sinner walked out crying from laughing too much??? Or adjutant Nightingale GIGGLING because of YOU 😔 Pookie, phone down rn... I just want to talk 😊 (Give me your humor rn)

- Chief was talking about an individual who kept going in and out of jail. She was an elusive individual, she sneaky in 5 year old terms 🐱‍👤 Sis had to explain to you like you were 5 since you asked her to translate in Spanish because your 5-month streak in the green bird app 🦉🟢 wasn't all for NOTHING 😇 Chief was NOT having it lmao, she made you TIMEOUT like you were 6 😭😭😭 Girl, don't try to play with Chief because she DON'T play, she's TIRED 😑 24/7. So sis hands you a file and pookie, you were in for a shock. REBECCA?? 👩‍🦰 As in the PROFESSOR REBECCA??? 👱‍♀️👱‍♀️👱‍♀️ Your psychology professor from before??? 😲😲😲 WHAT? 😰 Sis, turns out you WERE right about her. But like still, your psychology professor who disappeared mysteriously for 3 years suddenly showing up and suddenly came back with milk 🥛 on HAND... - Imagine her surprise seeing you walk right in for HER psychological evaluation... Babes was amused to see her student from before, became her psychologist... Like wow, the tables have turned. Okay then, sis she was like show me what you got 💅 Before you went straight down to business you were like "SISTER, where have you been???" Making her flabbergasted 😮 at the 360 personality switch, like was this the same student she was talking to from before??? 🤨🤨🤨 Girlie couldn't believe that you casually sat down and went on to say like "Sooo, this is where you've been 😊 babes where were you??? How'd you even get into prison? Okay like... I know you were doing something illegal and stuff like that but, still? They allow you to SLAY in prison uniforms??? 👠👠👠 Sister, you look SNATCHED with orange 🤩🤩🤩 - Sis was still recovering from the shock on how you basically went on a half-hour rant about how you got into the MBCC, and how you are chief's cousin, and like how you was SEARCHING for her because her favorite professor went missing... Wait. You considered her as your favorite professor? 🥰 Pookie was happy to hear that, but she needs to sit down first because she was too shocked to see the CHANGE in you that she forgor (intentional misspell 😌) to SIT down 🧍‍♀️

She was sitting in this SLAYING pose that you couldn't help but say "GIRL, What's with the..." Fingers snapping "Pose... It's giving... Office siren like yasss slay queen 💅💅💅" Again, your professor didn't expect the personality change like??? What happened when she was gone and what's with the slangs pooks...? 🤭 You had to explain what that meant and she was like "Thanks... Pookie?" Ooh the way we all giggled when miss maam attempted to use the slangs 🤭🤭🤭 Okay, after the interrogation you two became BESTIES 😌 Yes, you heard that right you two, besties.

There would be a couple of times where you guys end up collaborating or it's either you were assigned on a dispatch mission, yes you can also SERVE❗❗❗ The country 😾 You're giving FIERCE while she serves FACE the whole time, we all know that her face card never declinesss so, obviously you would drop a few comments like "Stop serving FACE, I'm getting distracted babes" And she's like "I need to keep SERVING pooks so we can stay alive 🥰🥰🥰" The way that you FOLDED when she was using the language of slaytology when you guys talk, like it's exclusive for YOU 🥺🥺🥺 Pookie... Wdym the Rebecca, talks to you in ✨slay✨ terminology??? 💅💅💅

Anyways, she asked you how you were able to resist her hypnotism before, and you just basically responded, my LASHES were too long from that time, and oh you wore CONTACTS? 🤨 How does that affect her hypnosis??? 😃 Sis, maybe it's genes that ran between you and chief... But you didn't know that.. 😶 An: I ran out of brain juice on how to proceed with the second installment because head empty, thoughts are FULL of air 💨 rn... *Goes mia for now, be back writing for the other stuff* TOODLES!

#path to nowhere x reader #path to nowhere #platonic ptn #ptn #ptn x reader #platonic path to nowhere x reader #ptn chameleon #ptn chameleon x reader #suspect r x reader #ptn suspect r

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

lllicit Affairs | Chapter VI: Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have a dark secret that would change everything between you - and neither of you are willing to share.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, Lo'ak x reader, jealous!Neteyam, both main characters thirsting for each other, mentions of lab work, disease, blood, cursing.

Word Count: 7,2k words

A/N: Chapter 6 is the chapter that sets EVERYTHING in motion for what's to come. There is a LOT to come, a lot of drama and angst, maybe some smut (? 😉) and this chapter is meant as a stepping stone to the beginning of the end. Also, realised I forgot to ever mention, that if the dialogue is ever italicised, that usually means the conversation is in Na'vi, I don't know how I have never made it clearer, but here we are.

Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and asking to be tagged, I never expected this to gain any traction and I am so grateful for people enjoying it x

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave you too much but it wasn't enough But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts

One second.

“Just one second, Neteyammm!”, you whined, as he was trying to remove the blanket from your currently very comfortable and very warm body.

“It’s late, come on! Early bird catches the worm, isn’t that what you people say?”

“Nobody says that, I don’t know who told you this lie.”

“It was you!!” he says, and he’s laughing at your whinging while trying to remove the blanket. He’s not trying that hard, considering he would make an easy job out of the task if he used a tenth of his actual force, but he couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you any unnecessary distress. You had enough of that in your life, and he wanted to be a source of comfort for you, a shelter in the storm.

You scooted on one side of the bed close to the edge, and left a big gap which you brought to his attention by patting it aggressively.

“Press the button on the audio player and lay with me, please? I don’t feel like going out today.”

He couldn’t say no to you, he realises. He would follow you anywhere in this world, do anything you asked of him, regardless how stupid or reckless or crazy it was. He would always follow you, for the rest of time, and he was happy about it.

A song he liked came on, one that he’s heard you play before and there was no doubt in his mind that he liked it better when you sang it. He circled the bed and lay in it, next to you, in the dark.

“Thank you, light of my life.” You attached yourself to him, arms sprawled across his bare chest and legs carelessly placed on top of abdomen and hips, and sighed contently. He could feel your warm breaths on his neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head to you and placed a small kiss on top of your head and listened to the soft tune filling up the room.

“Oh, goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered in you”

“You’re annoying.”

“I know I am, but you love me anyway.”

I do, Neteyam thought. I really do…

Things happen in life sometimes, and it makes you lose your ability to react. There was no reaction, definitely no overreaction. You stared at the vial of blood that shattered all across the floor, all across you and your mind was blank. Almost robotically, you made your way to one of the benches and got some paper rolls and the IMS laying next to it. You carefully cleaned all of it, and spit whatever made its way to your mouth to the floor to be removed. When you were sure everything was gone, you went to the sink and removed your goggles and gloves, and scrubbed yourself clean. You felt yourself moving, picking up a bucket of water with some floor cleaner, felt yourself adding disinfectant to it and moping thoroughly, but it was like an out-of-body experience. Like you were merely a puppet executing orders from above. Cleaning everything took about an hour, after which you made your way back to your room slowly, deliberately.

You didn’t sleep. You spent the whole night looking over everything you and the rest of the scientists have ever found out about this virus. You didn’t know its way of transmission. Maybe you had nothing to worry about, maybe it’s not by blood. You knew it’s not by air, you’ve seen plenty of people infected whose family was fine. So even if you do get infected, the people at the lab should be fine. Your friends would be fine. He would be fine.

Next, incubation period. That’s a tough one, in-vitro studies show it takes the virus anywhere from 2 to 12 months to show symptoms. You don’t know how that changes in humans. You don’t know any of this shit for humans. You could be perfectly fine, you could die within the month. The thought made your blood run cold.

You sat in your chair for the remainder of the night. Unmoving, unthinking.

That’s how Norm found you.

“Hey, Ace. What are you doing up?”

You scrambled for a lie.

“Just woke up, actually. Listen, if you are going to check on the boy, can you please bring my supplies to the tent and tell the Sullys I won’t be in today? I was too exhausted to run any experiments yesterday so I will do it today.”

“Oh… is everything alright? You haven’t missed a day in the village since you got your Avatar.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just worried about the boy and want to get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later, if possible.”

“Alright, I can bring you back some of his blood to run as well?”

“NO!”

Norm’s eyes widened in shock at your response and you knew you fucked up, you knew you slipped up. Calm yourself…

“It’s just not necessary at the moment since I have other blood and I don’t want to overwhelm him, if it’s not imperative. I will retrieve some blood when I check on him tomorrow.”

Norm looked at you with a concerned look, but eventually relented.

“Ok, whatever you think, Ace.”

“Thanks, Norm.”

“Let me know what you find tonight. I’ll tell Jake, but they might not be happy with you.”

“You can explain it’s an emergency, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

You struggled to get up and get your legs to not want to collapse beneath you. Eventually, you made your way to the sink and washed, you scrubbed your face as hard as you could without removing a layer of skin, and your teeth until you felt the familiar taste of metal coat your teeth. You hoped that maybe you tried hard enough, the last 6 hours can just be erased from your life, from world. You hoped it could undo the damage that would plague you for the rest of your most likely very short life.

Luckily, most scientists seemed to be out. Claire was teaching Na’vi kids English at Grace’s old school that Jake deemed fit to be reopened, Max left with Norm to check on the situation of the village, and most of the Avatars would be out on missions or training with Jake. You made your way to the quiet halls to one of the labs, and prepared for your long day ahead. This will be hard to do by yourself, but not impossible.

First step, respiratory fluids. You remove a sterile cotton swab and swab your pharynx as thoroughly as possible and place it in a tube. That’s easy enough. Next comes the blood. Finding a vein has always been hard for people to do on you, and it’s not gotten any easier in time, so after poking yourself a few times in the wrong place, you manage to get enough blood to run experiments on.

Hours of sample preparation, incubation, pipetting and running went by at an excruciatingly slow pace, like the universe was revelling in making every second of torture last forever. You thanked your lucky stars of the progress made in lab equipment and that you didn’t have to spent days on one PCR, like your mum was saying it had to be done back on Earth about a century ago. Regardless, it took most of the day for you to do everything you needed, check for all the proteins and markers you knew were deregulated with this virus, and by the early hours of night, you were done.

Aș people were starting to return to the hub as another day was nearing its end, you retreated back to your bedroom to work on the data analysis. You did not want to see anyone, did not want to speak to anyone until you knew at least some things. The less you talked, the less lies that had to come out of your mouth, and that seemed ideal to you.

Inputting the data and having to wait on some software to give you your literal death sentence felt so tragic is was almost comical, and you had to stop and ask yourself if you were some serial killer in a past life to warrant all the pain and misery life seemed adamant to throw at you. For the first time in so long you couldn’t even remember, things were going… well. You were strong, and doing well, and lived outside of the walls of this lab. You had a chance at something more, you had a chance at maybe one day healing and working through your issues and maybe even coming out the other side a better, healthier version of yourself. You had a chance at love.

And there it was… positive. One second.

THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE I: DENIAL

Your blood became poison in the span of half a day, but at least you now knew it wasn’t transmitted through air. That means no one else would have to suffer because of you. The thought made you weirdly calm, and you realised you didn’t care about your own health all along. No, you weren’t sad anymore, just relieved. A wide smile appeared on your face at the results, and you jumped out of the chair with enthusiasm at the great news. Everybody would be ok. Norm, Max, they would all be ok. You will handle all the virus experiments and blood samples from now on. They wouldn’t have reason to doubt you or question you, not when it made most sense anyway, since you were always in the village and knew the protocols and techniques the best, anyway. You would go on the same way as you had, and no one had to know or suffer because of your mistakes.

With those thoughts still floating in your mind and a Xanax on your tongue, you made your way to the comfortable bed and crashed without a dream in sight.

You were up before dawn again, and ready to get started on your day at the village. You were looking forward to gun training with Jake, and finally putting those years of practice to good use. You found Norm deep in thought in the link room, and he didn’t register you walking in until you patted his shoulder and he jumped out of his skin.

“Jesus, Ace. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I noticed. Why so jumpy, Norm?”

He gave you the quickest look known to man then quickly busied himself with literally anything else. “No reason, just focused on the task at hand.”

“…turning on the linkpod?”

“No one likes a smartass, you know?”

“So how was the village yesterday? How is the boy?”

“He’s alright, still not great, but his vitals are stable for now.” You noticed he did not answer your question about the village, and found slight panic rising in your chest.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen in the village?”

“No, Ace, everything’s fine. You don’t have to worry about everything, you know. How did the experiments go yesterday?”

“The virus is not airborne, it seems to be transmitted by blood, so we need to be very careful handling samples.”

“We always are. But good work, good to have some concrete evidence finally. I’ll look over your analysis soon.”

“You know, I’m not quite done with it, so maybe wait and we can look over it together?”

“Sure, that makes sense.”

You didn’t buy Norm’s pathetic attempts at deflecting the subject of the village, but you did not want to fight him so early in the day, so you guess you had to find out what happened for yourself. You woke up in your Avatar body soon enough, and could already tell the village was already awake and buzzing with the perspective of a new day. The guitar sitting on the ground next to your sleeping mat caught your eye, and you smiled softly at the memory which now seems a life away. Your fingers lingered on the chords and you strummed it gently a few times, enjoying the sounds that seemed to settle in your heart. Adjusting your braids in the small mirror you brought with you a few weeks ago, you made your way out of your tent and straight into Neteyam’s chest with a loud thud.

“What the fuck?” You say, indignantly and then look up to find Neteyam watching you with an unreadable expression adorning his beautiful face.

“Hi.” He says, and tries to muster a small smile.

“Hi…? Is there any particular reason you have decided to attack me first thing in the morning?”

“I was just coming to get you, I heard the guitar playing. I didn’t think you would be running straight into me. Are you ready? We can spend the morning tracking a herd of Talioang that the hunter party spotted a few clicks south of the village. It will be good practice for you.”

“…alright? Can I get some food first? I’m famished.”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably in front of you and looked… nervous, you realised. What the hell was going on with everyone?

“I have food that Ma packed for us, we can eat in the forest? I’d really rather get a move on as soon as possible, this will most likely take most of today, anyway.”

“Is there a particular reason you seem so eager for me to leave? You and Norm have both been acting weird today, and you are both terrible liars.”

Neteyam gave you a hard look. “Let’s go, Y/N. Unlike what you like to think, you don’t need to know everything, and not everything concerns you. Let’s go, now.” Nothing’s changed, you realised bitterly. Last night was just a fluke and you hated yourself in that moment for letting your guard down.

“You can be a real dick sometimes, Neteyam.” You said and took off without looking at him.

You ran for about 5 clicks without checking behind you, knowing full well he was following you, your hearing being one of the many senses that heightened in this body. You stopped suddenly at the sight of a huge footprint, one you could identify as the Sturmbeest, or a Talioang, like it was known to the Na’vi. Soon enough, you saw the ground littered with them, and began carefully tracking the beasts.

“Alright. How far would you say they are and which direction?” Neteyam asked, approaching you slowly. He was back to teaching mode, and you tried your best to learn, instead of recoiling and telling him to go to hell, which is what you really wanted to do.

You touched the ground and felt it with your fingers, trying to assess the moisture level and deepness of the mark. You thought about for a while.

“I’d say they’re quite fresh. Maybe this morning? Taloioang move slowly, about 1 click every hour or two, so I’d say we’ll find them about 2 clicks east?”

He didn’t even have to touch the ground to be able to assess it. He was impressive.

“Good. Let’s go. We shouldn’t run, they have good hearing and the wind is blowing east, which means they’ll be able to smell us if we’re not careful. We will take a roundabout way and approach them from the south.”

You both made your way through the forest and it was your turn to follow him, although you stayed close behind and tried to look around you and pick up on clues, tiny sounds and movements, trying to learn, trying to see. “Eyes on the tracks, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, but did as you were told. Eventually, Neteyam let you deem the appropriate time to stray from the tracks and move south to avoid being spotted. Soon enough, you saw the herd of prodigious beings, bathing in a shallow lake. You made your way slowly, sneaking on the ground, with Neteyam close to you, and you felt his arms grazing your sides every inch of the way.

The herd was protecting the calves, 5 in total, playing and splashing in the clear water. You watched in amazement, just enjoying the view of these seemingly ferocious beasts that in the moment, felt more like a family watching their children play at the local pool. You couldn’t believe the beauty and mild predisposition, the complex nature of these animals whose equivalents were long gone on Earth, long decimated by humans and their needless desire for wealth and acquisition, for mindless cruelty. You felt your stomach drop at the realisation that soon, this could be Pandora, if you didn’t fight will all your being in the upcoming war.

You felt a sudden gentle pressure on your lower back, a pressure you quickly identified as Neteyam’s hand and you shuddered at the touch. He neared his mouth to your ears, and you felt his warm breath tickling your neck, a sudden warmth pooling in your lower abdomen.

“You’re not allowed to kill anything yet, but I want you to show me how you would go about it. Show me your bow work, how would you aim from this position.”

You slowly removed your bow from from your person and sat up, in a now crouched stance, and loaded the arrow, doing your best to accommodate for the uncomfortable position you were in and the tight space you were sharing with another person. You held your breath, engaged your core, and aimed as if you were going to release your arrow on the target about 300m away. Neteyam’s large hand touched your upper thigh, by your left hip and squeezed gently. Your arm dropped suddenly and snapped your head in his direction. He didn’t react to your sudden snap, instead talking lowly, so as to not give your location away. “Your leg is not in a position by which you can maximise release. You will have more power in the shot if you place this knee on the ground and lean into it.”

You wanted to take that hand and either break it or redirect it on other parts of your body that felt like they would explode if they didn’t feel him, have his touch provide the relief that was desperately yearned for, needed. You wanted to scream at him or make him coax the screams out of you like a war-cry, wild and desperate. You wanted to kill him, you wanted him to kill you, slowly and painfully, taking his time on your body until you were falling apart at the seams around him. You hated him, you loved him. You hated him.

You gave him a hard look, an angry look directed at your thigh, and he removed his hand from you. You wondered if he knew, knew what he was doing, wondered if he felt the same way, if he too was struggling to catch his breath at the torture of knowing he can’t have you, claim you, right now, right in this second, right here. You hoped he did, hope it ate him alive, the yearning and the desire. Because that’s what it was doing to you, what he was doing to you. You turned your attention back to the herd and adjusted your position based on his advice. He was right, you could tell right away, as you felt a lot more power when aiming the arrow this time.

“Much better. We can go now, we will give the location to the hunting party and the will be able to secure us dinner for a couple of weeks from the back of a couple of Ikrans.”

You made your way out of their surroundings, and slowly started walking back to the village. After about half an hour, he stopped on a rock and removed the food he was carrying in a pouch. You didn’t join him, preferring to keep your distance and thus a clear mind, not being able to afford being weak around him anymore.

“I thought you were famished.” He says, with a slight smile. You shook your head and turned around, taking in the views of the forest, distracting yourself with the flowers reaching out their neon green tendrils towards you. You kneeled next to one, and touched them gently, enjoying the way they cupped around your hand and tugged, like they were urging you to come closer so they can spill their long-forgotten dreams to you. You heard him sigh loudly.

“Sorry for being a dick. Just had a fight with mum and dad, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry. Come eat, please? I don’t want you passing out on me, you’re not as easy to carry as you used to be when you were human.”

You remained on your knees still, focused on only the plants and your gentle tug-of-war. You knew how much pressure Neteyam was under, has been for pretty much his entire life. A prodigy created… or made, no one could really know for sure, he began training when most babies learn to walk, and speak, and play. He has never had a childhood the way Lo’ak, or Kiri, or Tuk, or pretty much any other Na’vi children did, mostly fleeting moments of bliss in between a lot more moments of stress and struggle. He never complained, though. Not out loud, not to anyone else but you, once he realised you were a safe haven from the storm. You didn’t pass judgement, or make him feel bad for sharing his feelings, and he felt like he could tell you all the hardest truths his heart has always craved to speak out loud. You have always wanted to protect him from the world, a world that demanded so much of him, that asked for a sacrifice of which it was undeserving. Being Olo’yektan, leading the people, being the one person everyone relied on was a great honour, a great achievement - one you didn’t think he wanted, but was never given the chance to decline.

“What happened?”

You walked slowly towards the rock he was laying on, and sat at its foot, crossing your legs on the slightly damp grass. You grabbed a piece of jerky from the pile of food and slowly chewed through it, humming in appreciation at the smoky taste and rich flavour of the meat.

Neteyam grimaced and didn’t look at you, choosing to focus instead of his arm guards, picking at something that was clearly not there. “More sacrifices I need to make in the name of the future, of the people.”

“I see you still haven’t learnt to say no, even after all this time apart.”

Neteyam’s hand froze in midair, his eyes widening slightly - it was the first time you brought up the year apart. He braced himself for what he thought was the beginning of the end, of you finally demanding answers he didn’t think would ever satisfy you, but no other words left your lips.

“I can’t say no. I owe my parents everything I have, everything I am. This village, this life, is all I know. My dad gave up on everything he knew to stand up for our people, to make sure we’d get a future worth living, a family worth saving, a world still worth fighting for. He became Olo’yektan despite all that stood against him because he loved my mum, loved us, even then, even before we were born. My grandpa died defending this village, watching home tree get decimated in front of his eyes, with only the people’s safety on his mind and tongue. I see that bow that my mum cherishes like a gift from Eywa herself and I want to be worthy of it, someday. And if it means giving up some things, maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

“Maybe whatever you’re giving up is making room for something ever better, Neteyam. Sometimes we want something so bad, we can’t see the forest for the trees.”

He looks at you confused for a second.

“That’s a saying. What I’m trying to say is maybe you are over focused on something you want right now, that you think is the best thing for you, but maybe you just are not focusing on the bigger picture. Maybe in the future, whatever you’re giving up now will make room for something that was much better for you all along.”

Disappointment filled his chest at your words. Neteyam looked at you with deep sadness marking his features, and he could see you were trying to think of things to say that could make him feel better. In all honesty, he wanted - needed - you to tell him to be selfish, and trust his gut, and follow what he knew was right in his heart, but he also knew that being selfish is not a trait that came naturally to you. You have always respected the deep bond Neteyam had to his family and his people and you always used to tell him how proud of him you were for how strong he was, for the lengths he was willing to go to to protect and nurture those bonds.

You felt an overwhelming sense of grief at the realisation that you will never get to see him become Olo’yektan, see him become the man everybody knew he was. He would never be yours, and although that painful conclusion had settled in your soul and had time to scar in all the time you knew him, a new wound, deeper, bloodier, deadlier, tore your heart apart at the thought you would not even be able to watch from afar. You would have been satisfied with scraps, just watching him rule, and be, and love someone else and imagining it was you. You never thought you’d get more than that anyway, never had any delusions for more. The scraps would have been enough, and now even those were brutally taken from you, like everything else in this life.

You needed to leave, now.

“Should we head back? It’s getting late.”

You walked back in deep, uncomfortable silence. Eclipse made the nature shine and glimmer with colours your sadness dulled to muted tones. There was light coming from the village and you realise how badly you wanted to be alone, in your tent and read, or watch a movie or a show, and ignore this world for a little while while you licked your newly-opened wounds. Tonight was a communal dinner around the big bonfire in the centre of the village, and you felt grateful your presence would not be missed in such a crowd. You’ve come to love these dinners, another one of the many ways the tribe connected to the village and to each other, but tonight you couldn’t entertain even the thought long enough to count.

“Can you please tell your family I am sorry, but I will probably head to bed early. I’ll be early for breakfast tomorrow, I promise.”

“I can do that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nodded absentmindedly and closed the flap of the tent shut.

Neteyam watched as you left him, still reeling from your conversation. Much like you, he just wished to hide in his family’s tent and pretend for a night things are different, that they are better. Actually, if we are talking about wishes, he wishes he could be in your tent. In all honestly, dealing with you on a day to day basis, seeing you, your body, touching it more and longer than he knew he reasonably had to, was making him think thoughts he knew he had no business thinking. In his wildest dreams, he’d be in your tent and making your eyes roll back in the way that drove him crazy. In his wildest dreams, he’d be coaxing sounds out of you that only he would ever hear. In his wildest dreams, your hands all over him would heal him and break him at the same time. He was desperately in need of some relief, and he loathed all decisions in his life that lead to you not being able to be the one to provide it for him.

He made his way to the bonfire, and greeted all of the Na’vi that respectfully bowed their heads at his arrival. He saw his family at the centre of the crowd, where they normally sat, and joined them silently. They all gave him uneasy looks - all but one. Lo’ak was blatantly glaring at the older Sully, a look of disappointment and disgust marring his normally kind face that reminded Neteyam so much of their dad.

“Did you tell her?”

Kiri elbowed Lo’ak in the abdomen, but he didn’t flinch. He did not even bother to acknowledge Kiri, or the low hiss escaping their mum’s lips - his eyes were still boring into Neteyam, unwavering.

“No.” Neteyam’s expression darkened and in a split second, he became the warrior his dad moulded him into. “And you will not, either, Lo’ak. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak had to look up to look at his brother who was now dangerously towering over him.

“Oh, the mighty warrior giving out orders, what else is new?”

“Lo’ak, that’s enough.” Neteyam heard Jake intervene, and he eventually had to physically put his body in between his two sons, who still refused to look away from each other.

“Fnawe’tu (coward).”

Neteyam watched his brother turn his back on his family and walk away from the feast, and although he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he knew deep down that Lo’ak was right.

You were almost robotically flipping through the directory of movies and tv shows on the laptop that you had with you in the village, not quite ready to go back to the lab and have to deal with the consequences of your newly acquired “condition”. You had all night to do experiments, and lie to yourself that you were fine until you eventually succumbed to a Xanax-induced blackout. You wanted to be in this body just a little while longer, because, in this body, it was easy to forget the realities of your actual life.

You saw a five-fingered hand emerge from the entrance to your tent, and you laughed incredulously at the clown you loved, who seemed to have a knack for improving your dour mood.

“I am here to bother you.” You got up and started making your way towards the entrance of your tent.

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” You say, laughing and pulling Lo’ak by the hand, so he stumbles unattractively into you.

You wrap your arms around him and hug him gently. “Skxawng.”

“I should, but I am here instead. We haven’t had movie night in so long.” He lay on your sleep mat and you hissed for him to move over. “You’re getting way too comfortable hissing at people.”

“Not people, Lo’ak, you!” You smiled saying that, knowing you were quoting Kiri, and he groaned exasperatedly.

A few more weeks passed, and you felt the discrepancy between your bodies become more pronounced than it had ever been. It turns out, the incubation period of a Na’vi virus in a human is not long at all, and roughly around last week, you began displaying symptoms. You were taking every drug under the sun to try to soften them, but you had seen one too many good Na’vi people die due to this to know what was lurking underneath the comfortable cushion of drug-induced health. Despite all that, you felt on top of the world in your avatar. You were continuously improving, and, with a little bit of luck, will be completing your first kill soon - the first stepping stone to becoming Taronyu, hunter. If you do that successfully, you will be taking your Iknimaya with other Na’vi apprentices, and finally get your own Ikran. You were buzzing at the thought, and the image of you flying in the sky was enough to push any other worries out of your mind.

After that weird day that ended with Lo’ak in your tent watching Friends together and teaching him the chords to a song you both loved, things went back to normal, sort of. You couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that the Sullys were hiding something from you. They exchanged looks, and avoided certain subjects, and you were starting to be worried they guessed you were ill, and were tiptoeing around the subject so as to not upset you. That was a good theory, although it could not explain the heavy tension between Neteyam and Lo’ak that also started that night.

You saw them bicker and fight your whole life: two opposing personalities, both of whom had misunderstandings about the other. Neteyam could never understand Lo’ak, understand that, despite being the chieftain’s son and the grandson of the Tsahik and former Olo’yektan, people still looked at him like he was not quite full Na’vi. His eyebrows and five fingers made his appearance uncanny enough to always attract whispers and looks, and despite Lo’ak’s apparent devil-may-care attitude, he cared. Neteyam could also not understand anyone who wished to live freely and discover themselves, make decisions and choices that would lead to a happy, fulfilled life, rather than a proud and accomplished one. Finally, Neteyam did not understand that skill and tenacity doesn’t come easy to everybody, and the weight of living in his shadow was bearing heavily on his baby brother’s back.

On the other hand, Lo’ak never tried to understand the burden Neteyam had to carry, because, in his desire to not appear weak, he took it in strides and never complained. Lo’ak never fully understood the downfalls of what being “the perfect son” brings: no freedom, no childhood, no time, no fun, no choice. He only ever focused on the positives: praise from his family and clan, skill and composure, the title of future Leader of the Omatikaya. He will also never be able to understand the depths of Neteyam’s love for him, who, despite all their differences, would be willing to sacrifice everything, even his own life, to make sure his baby brother would never having to experience these burdens.

This tension felt like more. More than you’ve ever seen, not mended in time, they were always glowering at each other and only speaking to each other if prompted or forced by their increasingly frustrated family. You tried to talk to both of them individually and ask, but you were promptly sent on your way each time. You could tell Lo’ak was itching to spit it out, but every time he got close, he flashed you a look of hurt and fear, and moved on.

Eventually, you stopped worrying about it. It will come out in time, and you had better things to worry about. Your training became brutal after that day tracking Sturmbeests. Neteyam would come to your tent before dawn, sometimes having to wait for you while you woke up in your Avatar body, and you were always gone past eclipse. You were tracking, joining hunting parties to learn, working on shooting arrows while on Pa’li or in nearly impossible positions (he made you shoot targets hanging upside down from the branches of trees, seriously) and working on guns and practicing with Jake and his soldiers. Jake made you his second-in-command during these sessions, and you enjoyed having the roles reversed and having to watch Neteyam squirm every time you touched his arm, or waist, or thighs, in order to adjust his shooting form. You also taught Lo’ak, sometimes late in the nights, where he would sneak into your tent and ask you questions about guns that he hoped would bring him in his father’s good graces for once in his life. You loved teaching them, and you felt powerful with all the eyes on you, trying to absorb every piece of information coming out of your mouth.

“In your hands, you are holding a sub machine-gun.” You said and you made your way through the 10 soldiers in your midst. “It can fire up 600 rounds per minute. You have a button on the side of the weapon, as you can see right there”, you stopped and show everyone on your own weapon, “that allows you to choose between semi automatic and fully automatic. What’s the difference, Lo’ak?”

“A semi-automatic guns fires one shot when you pull the trigger, a fully automatic gun fires continuously until you release the trigger.”

“Tsantu (good guy)!” you said with an intimate smile. Lo’ak was making amazing progress, and you were proud to be even a small reason why.

Neteyam gave Lo’ak a hard look as he answered your question. He was angry with his brother because of his recent attitude, he thought. That’s the reason. Not at all because you were smiling at him with that dazzling smile that used to be reserved for him years ago, definitely not because he knew Lo’ak was sneaking in your tent at night and doing Eywa-knows-what, a fact which kept Neteyam up nights with images he would do everything in his power to be able to erase from his brain. Neteyam was exhausted. He hasn’t slept since this thing started, not until Lo’ak returned to his tent after his meetings with you, and he was able to look at him in the dim light of the night and gauge for himself if his brother was flushed, or panting, or extra happy for one reason or another. Despite never seeing anything that he could deem suspicious, the images of his baby brother taking for himself what was his, what should be his, haunted him and made him sick to his stomach.

Coward. Lo’ak words rang in his ears incessantly throughout each day, never being able to fully block them out.

Neteyam saw you move from Lo’ak and towards him, and tried to remember what they were talking about. Sub-machine guns, right.

“Now, SMGs are best used in tighter quarters or close to mid-range. The spread will make it inefficient for long-range. If you find yourself on the back of your Ikran shooting at a plane or Valkyrie, make sure you close the gap between you or use your bow, instead.”

“An SMG will have a lot of recoil, making it harder to shoot accurately, but there are a few tips you can use to make to improve your aim and accuracy.”

“First. Always fire in short bursts, if you are firing on automatic mode. A few shots at a time will make sure the kick is not unmanageable. Two, account for the kick and adjust your aim to compensate. Think of shooting an arrow and how you always take the wind, its direction, speed and power in consideration before you actually release. It’s a similar principle. The recoil will make the gun kick upwards, so always aim slightly lower than what you want to hit. Three, don’t aim for the head. Leave that for a bow or an assault/sniper rifle with a scope. Aim for the abdomen and chest, since that is a wider target and more likely to hit. Everyone on the same page?”

Neteyam was forever in awe of you, but it was particularly impressive watching you now. You were confident and powerful and knowledgeable. Neteyam felt bad admitting it, but you were a much better teacher than their dad ever was. Toruk Makto had many incredible qualities, but his patience was definitely not amongst them, and his lessons tend to get a bit derailed by his inability to understand that Na’vi are not predisposed to guns or understanding Sky People technology. You were calm, and kind, and funny, and you made it easy for everyone to follow your instructions. In the span on a few weeks, all of the Na’vi and Avatar soldiers training for the upcoming war became better at pretty much every aspect that they were training in, and I think everyone felt just a bit more comfortable about the conflict that was soon to befall them, with you by their side.

After the lesson was complete, you left alongside Lo’ak, sparing one last look in Neteyam’s direction. He was already watching you, and you saw a fleeting angry look that was quickly replaced with an expressionless mask. He was getting good at that, you thought.

“Do you want to do anything? If I have to listen to Kiri talk about all the new types of flowers and plants and shit she keeps finding in the woods, I will lose my mind.”

“Be nice.”

Kiri has been particularly hyperfixated on her newfound discoveries recently, and you tried your best to pay attention to every time she was describing them, in detail, but in reality you were always so exhausted by the time dinner came around that you were only assimilating about a tenth of all the words coming out of her mouth. You felt bad, and made a mental note to dedicate a couple of days to your friend that you saw less and less each week.

“Your Iknimaya is getting closer and closer each day, how do you feel?”

“Honestly I haven’t thought about it that much, just taking it one day at a time.”

“I think you should start thinking about it, cause it’s going to happen. You’ve managed to blow everyone’s expectations out of the water. It barely been two months since you got your avatar body, not even my dad did this so fast. You were made for this, Angel.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. You were grateful for Lo’ak’s faith in you, but with everything happening in your human body, it felt pointless looking towards the future.

“You will be one of us, soon. I’ve had dreams about this my whole life, you know? It’s like I manifested your Avatar, Norm should be thanking me.”

“Lo’ak…”

You didn’t like the turn this conversation took, and felt an uncomfortable twinge settle in your chest at his words.

“There are perks that come with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.”

Fuck.

Neteyam was making his way back to the village with the rest of the soldiers, casually chatting to one of the Avatars returning with them. He wasn’t paying attention to the way until his body knocked into one of the Na’vi walking in front of him. Utsou was staring intently at a scene unfolding in front of him, a scene that turned Neteyam’s blood to shards of glass, leaving cuts and bruises along his entire body. It was you, smiling, running your hand up and down Lo’ak’s arm whilst his hand was cupping your face and caressing your cheek. It was such an intimate interaction, it felt wrong to everyone there to even be able to witness it, and Neteyam felt himself becoming nauseous. With the image now seared into his memory and rage turning his breaths to pants, he turned around and left everything - everyone - behind.

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @hayhay9091

#neteyam #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #loak reader #avatar loak

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corazon-calaveras · 3 months

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The Crow Reboot Rant

NAH NAH NAH, WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE ERIC DRAVEN LOOK LIKE A DISCOUNT VERSION OF JARED LETTO'S JOKER?!? IMMA THROW HANDS!!! 💀🔪

There's just so much wrong about this reboot and as a fan of the original crow movie and graphic novel I cannot even begin to express how much this disappoints me.

More to rant ahead, just know it's hella long.

I recently saw and heard more news about the crow reboot and upon seeing what to expect I no longer have any interest in watching the reboot, in fact I wish the fans continue to roast the hell out of it to show the people in charge of this reboot that this is NOT what the people want or need.

Now I just want to go on and say that I have no problems with Bill Skarsgard as Eric Draven. I think he's a hella great actor with lots of potential of doing a great job at being the next crow actor, but my issue is with the writers and the people who made the overall decision to make this cult classic "appeal to modern audiences" which that quote alone was enough for me to completely abandon all hope of this movie being any good. I was already skeptical enough about the reboot and my expectations were low but THIS...this definitely made my expectations drop even lower than they already were and that's surprising to me. Honestly at this point the three crow sequels were a lot better and that's saying a lot because if y'all have seen those you'll know they weren't that good either but at least they were entertaining. 😭 (In my opinion at least, feel free to disagree on that).

It gets even better when you find out that the inspiration for reboot crow was Post Malone and Lil Peep. 💀

Like...is that what appeals to modern audiences nowadays? Was that really necessary for modern day Eric Draven? Absolutely not! The original movie and comic took place in the 90's so LEAVE IT IN THE 90's! Not everything has to be modernized for the sake of appealing to modern audiences. What modern audiences need right now are original stories with good and compelling writing (which probably won't happen any time soon since Hollywood proved to be in the middle of an imagination drought).

Sure, one can argue that the original movie wasn't completely faithful to the source material, that being the graphic novel. However, Due to the unfortunate passing of Brandon Lee during the making of the film, James O 'Barr has stated that he had finished the film as a tribute to Brandon who was a sweet and caring man and so decided to write Eric Draven to have some resemblance to Brandon in the film as a way to honor him. With that in mind, it's no wonder people are much harsher about the reboot, myself included, and find that this reboot would be an insult to not only James O 'Barr but also to Brandon. (Those who know the tragic history of The Crow graphic novel would understand why that's the case but in short it was a way for James to deal with grief).

In my opinion, the original crow film does not need a reboot or a remake. It may not be the best or perfect movie in the world but it is a cult classic and is one of the most beloved movies that holds a dear place in people's hearts. Mine included. Which is why instead of making another movie based on Brandon Lee's crow, that the other crow characters get a shot at the big screen since Eric Draven isn't the only one who gets brought back to life by a crow. I can understand how this might potentially not gain enough traction because it's not the iconic Eric Draven, but I do believe that with good writing and loyalty to the source materials, that it can be very possible to make a good and fresh crow movie without piggy backing off of an already beloved and successful film with the help of the fans who most likely have read the other comics.

In my opinion, I don't think this reboot is worth anyone's time (at least for those who are hardcore fans of the Crow franchise) and I have no hope for this whatsoever. In fact, I'm gonna go rewatch the original movie for the millionth time and reread the original graphic novel because I've already accepted the fact that any potential of getting a good crow movie is officially out the window. Not only that but the book and film are my comfort watch and reads so there's that.

For anyone who wants to hear more details about the reboot I recommend looking up articles or watch videos about it on youtube since that's where I heard the majority of the news.

Brandon Lee will forever be the best Eric Draven out there, may he rest in peace.

#the crow #the crow 1994 #eric draven #james o'barr #the crow reboot #bill skarsgård #the crow 2024 #rant post

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peachymilkandcream · 6 months

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My Husband, My Monster|Part 5|William Afton x Wife!Reader

(A/N: Just keep in mind for this chapter that the yandere themes are going to be a bit more intense now, if any of you have read my oneshots or even Break Me Slowly, you know a bit of the style of yandere I like to write. Please keep that in mind and reply to this post to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, power imbalanc, age difference, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere themes, yandere behaviours, domestic violence, misogyny, violence, baby trapping, William's a warning himself, etc.

============================================

Her apartment, flimsy and cramped as it was, was quickly moved out of. All her belongings sorted through and the items William deemed unnecessary were promptly discarded. Family heirlooms, childhood memories, things she had come to adore, all throw to the trash because he saw fit to do so. His word was an unbreakable law, and from the violence displayed in their bedroom, she had come to learn the path of least resistance was best. He hadn't hit her or shown any kind of abuse, but in the back of her mind she wasn't so sure that he wouldn't.

A honeymoon was a waste of time and money, their first week as newlyweds was spent in his small but cozy house attempting to deem what of hers would be permitted to fit in the chaos of his work. The extent of his workaholic nature in full force wherever she looked, it looked like he hadn't cleaned in a while, metal and wires scattered throughout various rooms so that if he was overwhelmed by one project he could go to a different room and work on another.

"Isn't this...cozy-" She attempted, all too conscious of the cold metal on her ring finger.

"I'm sure up to the task of cleaning it up, I don't have the time to worry about things like that."

"Oh, well-" She bites her lip to cope with the awkwardness, in reality she still didn't know this man very well. She had only slept with him a handful of times and worked under his leadership. "I guess I won't have to work at Fredbear's anymore-" She ventures with a nervous laugh, trying to break the ice.

"No, you will not. Your place will be here, in my home, seeing to it that everything is in place and taken care of. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, and of course." William places a hand lovingly on her stomach. "Having my children. I'm sure that won't be an issue."

"Children? I thought you didn't have time for kids, and that you wouldn't want more after this."

"Well you thought wrong now didn't you. It's your place to have children so why wouldn't I want you to have as many as I see fit?"

"I..I don't know if I want anymore-"

In an instant his hand sho out and slapped her across the cheek, leaving her to hold it, daze and full of shock.

"I don't remember asking for your opinion."

She frowns, not particularly caring for this kind of aggression. "Shouldn't I get a say as the one who carries the damn things?"

Anger rises in William, this little spark of defiance something he didn't like in the least. "Watch your tone or I'll give you some real discipline to cry about."

"Discipline? I'm not a child."

He suddenly grabs her arms. "Well you sure know how to act like a brat." He pulls her down onto the couch over his lap, she pushes to get up when he delivers a spank to her rear, making her gasp in surprise.

She tries to gain some kind of traction to pull herself off of his lap, but the fabric of his pants make her slip so she remains bent over in utter humiliation. His hand continues to come down on her rear, the sting turning into a dull ache as he continued. His punishment was thorough, lifting her skirt to admire the welts.

His assault continues until eventually his fingers penetrate her wet cunt, how her body had allowed itself to be turned on by this aggression was beyond her. However the change from violence to the feeling of being full was much welcome.

William's fingers pumped in and out of her at a steady pace, whether her walls tightened to push him out or to pull him in she didn't know. The slickness between her thighs was growing, which is all she could comprehend, that and the tightness growing in the pit of her stomach.

He felt it too, the way she clamped so hard on his digits made him smirk in approval, her rebellion wouldn't last long under his iron rule. Now he had the authority and the position where she couldn't leave or talk back, those ridiculous ideas and the waste of time she was spewing out would end right here and right now. This wasn't going to happen, not on his watch.

When she was on the verge of climaxing he withdrew completely from her, her tearful eyes finding his in disappointment and disbelief.

"Show me you regret bitching to me maybe I'll let you cum."

There was a pause, pride on the line and needing to be swallowed for the sake of something so carnal and wouldn't last forever, but damn did she need it.

She unbuckled his pants and peeled back the layers of clothing, quickly hopping on his dick and sliding him all the way home. Riding him had become second nature to her, he preferred to sit back and make someone else do the work, and she found a way for him to feel the deepest and for the ride to be the most pleasant.

While they didn't know much about each other personally, they knew about what William demanded and the tone he set in all things intimate. She rode him fast and hard, his thumb pressed firmly against her clit so she rubbed against it with each thrust of her hips.

She could never last long, the familiar feeling reaching throughout her whole body and then down to her toes as she went over the edge. Where she came he was never far behind, filling her and letting the cum spill out of her and onto his hips.

They were both sweating and breathing hard as they came down from their high. Her hands were firmly on his shoulders and she kissed his bearded cheek.

"It isn't so hard to obey now is it?"

==============================================

William kept her busy and fucked out of her mind most days. The house had slowly been turned into a home, the clutter and dirt slowly disappearing as she cleaned. She had barely time to unpack anything aside from basic clothes and toiletries, whenever she did have a chance to unpack things of memory and sentiment William always found a way to convince her they didn't need it, throwing it out. All of her tears shed over those precious things being purged from her life was attested to pregnancy hormones, and that she was being overdramatic.

And while the circumstances were anything but desirable, she had to admit she enjoyed being pregnant. There was a deep sense of nurturing and love that she felt whenever her stomach looked larger or she and William felt the baby kick. It could have been with someone else, a younger, much more loving husband, but William was enough for her. He had shown her kindness and love when no one else had, he would be a great man to raise her child. Everything would work out in the end, she was sure.

=============================================

Despite all of the books she'd read and all the advice she'd heard, nothing could have prepared her for the actual experience of bringing a life into the world. The pain was nothing like anyone described, the emotions, fears, and blood, all the blood.

William was at her side the whole time, never once leaving or stepping out. Although while she was expecting sympathy and comfort, he was level-headed and practical about the whole thing. Talking about it like it was just another medical procedure that he had read about and not the birth of his only child. But he was so busy, how could she expect him to be any different? She couldn't be selfish now.

It seemed like an eternity, that it would never end unless the thing coming out of her ripped her in half. But William told her it hadn't been as long as he'd been expecting, and that she pulled through well and hopefully would for their future children. Or as he said, his future children.

In her opinion, the person who went through the carrying of the thing for nine months plus the labour should reserve the right to name it but William informed her that wasn't the case. It wouldn't have been possible without him after all so he should have something to contribute. And that's how their son came to be, how he made his mark in his brand new world.

Little Micheal Afton, their pride and joy.

Tags:

=========

@fandomreader

@n3r0-1417

@2pacl0ve

#william afton smut #william afton x reader #william afton #william afton x you #steve raglan #steve raglan x reader #steve raglan x oc #steve raglan x you #five nights at freddys #fnaf #fnaf movie #purple guy #five nights at freddys movie #my husband my monster

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yxstxrdrxxm · 4 months

Text

SYNOPSIS: Knowing too much may become your downfall: that was the motto that Kaeya lived with until the day he dies.

TW/s: delusional thinking, yandere tendencies, unrequited love, toxic dynamic/s, implications for Diluc’s matchup + darling, conniving bastard won’t say a fucking word, master manipulator, we are going down the memory lane of “fucking people up”, nsfw tws include human trafficking, experimentation, operating on individuals and other things. Please dni if you are uncomfortable.

NOTE FROM HR: Happy Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, it seems that Kaeya has a few things he’d like to express. I do wonder what they are, considering he did seem a bit somber…

Kaeya was never expecting to be able to get ‘in’ to such a tight-knit company like this, and especially when his lineage can cause people to raise some eyebrows. After all, no one in their right mind would have the chance of employing someone and getting them on the waitlist when they value the sense of ‘authenticity’ to their rentals.

And for him, he might be right. They do value that, but now, it seems they decided to forego their morals for how pretty he looked in the standards of the human population all across the globe.

Now, Celestia Inc. isn't all that bad. It's not that glorious as people make it out to be, all due to its shady past, but it was enough that people don't bother to raid it one day in hopes of having to take it down. After all, they are everywhere online: people may mention their sudden rise in certain niches, and some even mention their still standing operations. One of them was, surprisingly enough, MixMatch.

A dating site.

Back then, it was closed for a group of people to join. A payment for being a 'rental boyfriend', with its payment costs going as high as one can dream. They pay you at least 10 million when you manage to get matched with someone, and entertain them enough that they'd be satisfied. If they aren't, you get 5 to compensate for your troubles.

To Kaeya, this doesn't seem to be a 'dream come true'. To him, he knows that this feels more like a ploy to get others to join in. It was a marketing strategy, so when people join this 'free' and 'hot on the app store' dating app and website, they'd get traction oh so quickly.

He didn't like the idea. It sickened him. But he couldn't be bothered to correct them.

When he joined, he found that it was the same as those corporations he worked at prior. As a host in the past, he managed to get himself used to the workflow and gained traction in over a month. He's heard others comment on how he seemingly captured the public's eye from how different he is, and from his reputation from other countries, they were coming in like drones.

He liked the attention he's got because of that. And yet, for him, it all felt rather empty. Like it wasn't meant to be this long-lasting, and he needed— no, he craved for more.

He was greedy. A greedy man with a hollow heart.

Each smile he sent to his clients was not a genuine smile. Each wink and 'kind' gesture was all a ruse. A stage performance. He didn't feel anything for these people, and he didn't even feel the same as they do. Each confession they have for him was always met with the hollow words of 'I do feel the same way that you do', only to see them get the safer way to go.

He's aware of the dark side of MixMatch. After all, their Boss was nothing short of a past harbinger who stepped down. No one knows his name, no one knows who they are— but their workers all fear him.

He's seen him order the cleaners to get rid of the drugged clients. He's watched them all go down in their homes, ransack and ruin the place, and return with the client gagged and in a drugged rest. He watched with emptiness as they were then operated on with shady doctors, Dottore having a hand in some of these as he used their bodies for his sick desires.

He watched them become human sacks, their bodies empty of their organs but full of salt and junk, and for Dottore to tell them to take the organs down 'below'. He watched them become tied, their jello-like body being tossed to another set where they would be disposed of.

It's a fucked up operation.

Everyone knows this when they get signed up.

And yet, because of regulations, they can never breathe a word of what goes behind the scenes. Not to their friends, families, their coworkers, therapists, no.

Not a single word can be escaped from the confines of Celestia Inc.

If you asked him how his first date went, Kaeya would answer that it went… Interesting.

Sof was definitely the type many would like, especially for a casa nova like him. She isn’t too picky with who she wants, and her affectionate behavior made it easier for the duo to banter. However, what he didn’t like was the fact she’s blind to any sign of danger.

Such is the payment of being the ideal girl many would date, he mused. But I don’t like people who can’t see what danger is, much less even enable that without thinking that they will get hurt, too.

Kaeya is picky with what he likes from someone, and it’s why he’s so high maintenance. To his credit, though, he makes it obvious in his profile. He wanted someone that would be responsible, that would be able to handle the spontaneity of their dates, and that they won’t even judge him if things were going somewhere that isn’t in their plans.

And although many did swipe right on him, he looked through their profiles before checking to see if they were worth it. The answer? None of them were.

Well, except a few, like Sof.

Which is why he’s now regretting that decision, as he realized that she’s simply not the one he preferred to stay with. She was interesting, but he disliked those who can’t even see past the warning signs that go to their face. He found it more or less… Idiotic, in his standards.

Alas, he needed to keep pretending. That’s what he’s good at, after all.

“Where do you want to go?” he asked Sof as they left the restaurant, his easy-going smile present on his face. “I have a few places we can go to next. Although, since it’s getting a bit late, we can plan on heading back home after a short shopping trip.”

“Oh! Uh… Yeah, we can go out and get some groceries. I wanted to try baking when we get home,” Sof replied, a pep in her step as they walked to where he parked his motorcycle. “Hehe, I didn’t know you were a cat person, Kaeya. Have you owned a cat before?”

“You can say that,” he answered, tossing a coin and catching it deftly with one hand—a small trick he’s used to doing when they were simply chatting. “I own a maine coon back home. My brother, Diluc, isn’t a fan of cats. Never was, anyway, since one scratched him when he was young.”

Granted, they were both young and their father warned him, but he knew they were both too mischievous to listen. It was why Diluc hated cats, even when he became a magnet to them.

“Really? Hehe, that’s funny! I remember a friend of mine who hates cats…”

Try as Kaeya might, he could only tune out what Sof was saying. There was a sense of difficulty in paying attention to someone he doesn’t really enjoy being around. He thought of the matches he swiped as those who he really wanted to be with, but meeting with Sof, he felt disappointed.

He didn’t see her as someone that fits his needs. She was just another one of the fakes he had to deal with later. Such a shame. He was starting to like her, too.

Alas, she isn’t perfect. She needs to be perfect. And he’s starting to get annoyed at the sound of her voice.

Too loud. Too piercing. Too imperfect.

No, she can never fit his standards. She never will.

“Kaeya?”

“Mm?” he hummed, seeing her grab her helmet and his hands instinctively grabbing his own. Realizing what he was doing, he laughed.

“Sorry, I just did them while I was zoning out. Hop on, Sof, we need to go to the nearest store and get those supplies.”

“Oh! Of course, hold on!”

He could feel the motorcycle move as Sof got on behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. It reminded him of those scenes in romance movies, where the girl will cling onto her potential lover as they rode off, the sun setting in the background.

He recalled seeing it and feeling that it could be him with his lover, riding off the sunset and simply enjoying the air. The golden hour setting just right, the rays hitting their complexion as he looked at them. He remembered just how lovesick he got at the idea, he craved for that same feeling when he grew older.

Such wild fantasies. He needed to work for it, but how could he, when the people he met were too imperfect?

Riding off, he could see the scene play out. However, his eyes were focused on the road, his ears straining for the beeps and sounds around them. He needed to focus on where he was going, lest he, too, will drive off somewhere else.

Despite the noise that he heard, his mind remained clear.

He knew what needed to be done.

Kaeya had so many things he's kept secret. Every client he has met, he's kept a secret that he can never tell.

Including the ones he sees ever so often.

It was a normal day when he came to the company as usual (and way before things went haywire, oddly enough), and he was assigned with yet another person to go on a date with. Although, the one he was assigned to date next had their form already in the red.

It all screamed imperfect to him. It just looked as though someone pushed her to do it all in one go, especially with the direct bias of seeing who she really likes in her profile.

It made him scowl.

How dumb were they to assign someone like that to him?

"█d████, are you sure you'll be assigning me with her?" Kaeya asked the matchmaker, watching them sigh as they gave him a look. "You know my tastes and all, but their form is rushed. I'm surprised that you haven't bothered trying to get them with someone else."

"Look, Kae, I tried. I tried, okay? But the others that fit them are taken by their previous matches. There is no way that they would simply accept getting switched like that," they explained, trying to assign his match. "Besides, we're running out of time. We need to get it sorted before the Boss gets mad!"

Kaeya scoffs. Seriously? They're always so concerned about someone else, it's ridiculous... And laughable, to boot.

"What will the boss do, hm? Would he come down and interfere?" he taunted them, scowling. "You and I know that he doesn't bother to try. All he does is simply hide himself in there because he's become too paranoid to even care."

"Paranoid? Paranoid? Please, Kaeya, do you honestly think he'd be too paranoid when he's raised a hand against me and the others?"

Kaeya's eyes narrowed. It was true that he raised a hand against them, but that simply proved his point. He didn't exactly understand why they would be so scared of a middle aged man that may drop dead over what happened weeks ago.

"Oh, that's right. You guys are paid enough to not care, don't you?" they taunted, laughing at his face. It sounded so... Forced. Mocking, even. It sounded like they were at their wits end with him, like the stress from the job got to their head.

"Yeah. Yeah, that seems to be it. You all have no remorse after being serial murderers, huh? And for what, your clients?"

"I'd stop talking if I were you, █████e," he warned, but they laughed at his face once more.

"Me? Stop? Never! You guys are all such a pain, I'm tired of playing nice!"

Even if Kaeya wanted to, he had to hold his tongue. Watching their face contort to mania, he was reminded of why the job was so twisted to the point of being inhumane.

It drives their workers into madness.

Watching Cupid lose it, he stepped back, mumbling an apology as he turned to leave. Even when he closed the door, he could still hear the echoes of their laughter, soon followed with sobbing. He knew that they were at their limit, but still...

...

He watched Eros come by, giving him a knowing look.

"Did you push them over the edge?" Eros asked, scowling. "They're going to leave the company after this week. Don't make this harder than it has to be, Alberich."

"I didn't expect them to break this much and you know it, Eros," he reasoned, but they only shook their head and walked off towards their office.

"That doesn't mean that you and everyone else weren't at fault."

Watching Eros enter their office, he could only sigh. Perhaps he's in a bit of denial, but he didn't think that she, of all people in the industry, would ever say that.

It truly goes to show where his dedication and loyalty lies.

If there was one thing he was right on, it would be his second date.

Unlike Sof, his date with Eli did not go as well as he had feasibly hoped for. Maybe he had his doubts set too high, because he was convinced that she simply wasn’t fit for the app as a whole. To him, he had thought that she would ever learn from her mistakes, but the way she acted like she was the one being inconvenienced irked him.

He hated that she’s too avoidant. He hated those types of people.

To him, he never understood why you’d go on the app to find love. Will you ever treat those you dislike the same way? Act like you were the one being inconvenienced, and not the one that has to deal with your childish acts?

Kaeya can be mischievous in his own way, yes, but even he has decorum. And frankly, he despised those who think they can act so two-faced with him. He isn’t a fool.

While his date was busy acting like they were in a good relationship (and not one where she wanted to ditch him in the middle of the day), he took the chance to check on his phone. Already, he could see notifications from TeyvaTweets, rambling about how her recent date is not the one for her.

[ I wanted Alhaitham or Wriothesley, but this guy swiped right instead. ]

[ He’s pretty, but I don’t really like him all that much lol. ]

[ Oh god im gonna get back on my date, going to lyk if it goes horribly. ]

He turned the phone off and frowned. He didn’t want to show it, but he does sometimes wonder if her being nice was simply just a ploy to keep him entertained. After all, she has expressed (on her private account, that is) that she’d drop Kaeya to “go after that hottie”, whilst attaching the photo of the boss of MixMatch.

What a joke.

They all know that the Boss would simply use her and leave her to rot. No one would look at him, go through his background, and tweet at how they can still try to get to him. ‘To get to know him better’, as one would say.

“Hey, uh, I gotta go. I have to go to the hospital to check on them.”

Lies. He knew she didn't. Besides, she couldn’t be bothered to look him straight in the eye as she told him. What is he, an idiot?

Still, he was glad it was over. Putting on a face of mock concern, his brows furrowed and he spoke.

“Oh? I see… Do you need me to drive you there?”

“No need! I can handle it,” Eli answered, packing up her things as they left the cafe awkwardly. “I’m so sorry if we have to cut it short. You must have so many plans for our date today, especially when things are getting hectic in the agency.”

Kaeya laughed, but not out of amusement. It was simply out of… politeness, in a way. Sure, he had work to do with the agency, but what they’re doing is far more different. And for him, he could hardly care if he had lost that job because he decided to slack off.

After all, he knew his date didn’t bother to give him the respect he deserved. So why should he do that in return? He’s bound to see her tweet again about this ‘awful experience’ or something.

“It's alright, I was thinking it’d come to this. I’ll catch you later then.”

Waving at Eli, he watched as she did the same and left, though the sight of her walking so stiffly as if she was scared of him brought him a bit of amusement in return. When he was sure she was gone, he lowered it with a sigh.

Another failed date, and this one was the worst he’s gotten. Unlike Sof, he didn’t feel all too bad about Eli—after all, both of them never liked each other, so why should he?

Pulling up his phone, he began to dial someone’s number. He, truthfully, never thought of needing help from the likes of him, but he had to call it when the truth was staring at him in the face.

That he and a few others needed their services to deal with a few too many bad matches, and especially ones that want to get near to those that will never look twice. Especially those who thought of him as a good guy for his actions.

Then, he clicks the call button. And it starts to ring.

He could vaguely feel it vibrate as he waited for someone to answer. The caller ID was someone that he knew too well, and especially with how their relationship is like after everything that has happened.

Each time he didn’t feel them pick up, he could only sigh and head to his ride. He knew they were avoiding it, but he wasn’t going to let up until he’s sure they’d take the call.

…

And when he felt his hopes dwindle, he felt the vibration of his phone stop, alongside a gruff and annoyed voice.

“Kaeya. I thought you and I agreed not to call each other when we’re both busy in work hours.”

“Hmm, we have, but I just needed to ask you a bit of favor, mr. Diluc,” he replied, humming in amusement. “Are you still looking for people that can help you with the wine tasting? Especially that new brew you made?”

He could hear Diluc take a deep breath, and the sigh that followed made him smile a tad wider. Even when they were all twisted in their way, he knew that Diluc remained the same way that Kaeya always knew him to be.

It’s a shame, though. They aren’t as close as he remembered, especially after what happened years ago.

“... Yes, I am. I found some that are willing, but they haven’t come back to inform me when they’ll be available.”

“I see… Well, I have someone I would love for you to meet. I’m sure you’ll like her—she fits you just right.”

No man could say a single soul what Kaeya is capable of.

Some rumored that he was a demented man, masquerading as but as a young police officer who’s mischievous and doesn’t enjoy spending long hours in his work. Others, though, say that he may be one of those people who are involved in the mess that was the Ghost Killings, at how his smile and demeanor can be so… off-putting.

As for his beloved, the one he deemed to be perfect, well… It would be neither. Kaeya was Kaeya, after all. Even if he were to be sick in the head, there was no way in Hell would anyone be able to get a single word from him.

Descending downstairs, Kaeya looked over at the room he’s decorated all for his beloved. The one he was truly, truly meant to be was all kept safely in there, double locked for his safety, and so that no one may find them. Grabbing the keys, he began to insert them in the padlocks and turn them, pushing the door open when he was done getting through the restraints.

Laid before him was his own personal darling, all laid so pretty and docile on the bed he set for him. Sure, he couldn’t speak, for his mouth had been gagged, but those dull eyes spoke more than Kaeya’s one eye could ever hope for.

“I’m home, darling,” he called out, the lovesick man stumbling to the rather complacent lover he had in his house. “Oh, I do hope I haven’t left you rotting here for so long, my dearest. Work has been exhausting for me to deal with.”

They hadn’t said a word to him, but he didn’t care. It was almost like he heard them whisper something to him, making him laugh like he was demented.

“You’re jealous? Over what, pray tell?”

Silence. Then another beat of laughter, this time more unhinged and loose than the first.

“Over them? Darling, you wound me! They’re far, far too imperfect. I have simply made sure that the ones I got were to be taken care of. You always said you wanted to have their eyes.”

Oh, he’s aware of what happened to Ba. Ba had an accident years, years ago. Their relationship had been rocky, sure, but that accident had led Kaeya to go through grief. It was almost ironic, for he experienced the first of it by his adoptive father dying.

He was unable to do anything for his adopted father. Diluc resented him for his inaction, thus, their separation. And with poor Ba… He resents the world for taking him away.

The first time he’s felt love was during college with Ba, but it was the first toxic one he had. He hadn’t been the best man for his first love, and it led to them having arguments and extreme disagreements. It wasn’t always like this, but it hurts Kaeya when they fight.

It hurts to see the person he adored too much to hate him. Spew his name out like it’s a sin.

So when Ba died during the height of their biggest fight, Kaeya was going through it again. However, he had the means to… Assist Ba in his partings.

All it truly took was the cost of his heart and his eyes to get back what’s his.

Tracing over the open chest, he grabbed the bloodied, unbeating heart that he got from Eli’s corpse. Ah, it was too imperfect, but slotting it inside Ba’s felt like it was meant to be. Those eyes he took from another girl had been replaced, slotting in the ones from Sol.

He always resented those that couldn’t see, nor those who couldn’t feel.

But now, looking at his lover who owned those faults, he couldn’t help but laugh and love them all the same.

Ba is now complete. Kaeya knows that.

And yet those tears still fell as the beat of his heart was the only one left in the world.

The world that took Ba away, and his humanity along with it.

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2024

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sirfrogsworth · 5 months

Text

My First "Viral" Post

Like, 20 people told me to submit my Brady Bunch GIFset to @world-heritage-posts and hundreds more tagged it #worldheritagepost.

So I was like, "OKAY OKAY, I'll submit it!"

And they never posted it.

Which is completely fine!

WHP, it's cool. We're cool. I don't need World Heritage Post reblogs.

I have reblogs at home.

(my reblogs at home)

I am definitely *NOT* going to do the "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???" thing.

I only do cool and funny "Don't you know who I am?" interactions like Tony Hawk.

But when I submitted the post it reminded me of an even earlier time on Tumblr when there were only a few people who could make a post go viral.

The main one was called @thedailywhat. If something got posted there, it could get HUNDREDS of notes.

HUNDREDS!!!!

Oh, that's another funny thing. Several people commented "Why does this only have 20K notes!!???"

There are currently 135 million active users on Tumblr and the site got roughly 2.4 billion visits in 2023.

In all of 2010 the entire site got 50 million visitors. Not users. Just people who went to a Tumblr address during that entire year.

In any case, if you thought you created something cool and you wanted more than 10 people to see it, you had to submit your cool thing to The Daily What. It was the first Tumblr to reach 100,000 followers which was more than the actual founder of Tumblr had at the time.

It was run by a single person but he was very private and never revealed his name.

His emails were very cryptic.

I'm pretty sure he sold the site and went to live on a beach or something. But whoever bought it did not understand how to run the blog and the final post was in 2013.

I'm not surprised the new owner crashed and burned. Johnny Internets was irreplaceable. He really understood what would connect with people. Nearly everything he posted would gain decent popularity. I'm not sure people realize how much of a skill curating content can be and how hard it is to post popular things with consistency.

He would reject a lot of content outright and was very picky about what went on his Tumblr. But when he actually posted something you made, it was almost guaranteed to go viral.

Well, viral relative to the time period.

I suspect I submitted nearly a hundred things before he finally agreed to reblog me. And I still remember the first thing I submitted that he liked.

I posted this in 2010. How many notes do you think it got?

Probably a million, right?

No less than 100K.

I mean, look at how cute that panda is!

SONOFABITCH!

Back then, that was enough.

But that was just me putting words on something. My ultimate goal was to get him to post one of my original photoshops.

And do you see how he gave proper attribution? That meant a lot during a time when other curators were cropping my watermarks and claiming things as their own.

A real mensch, this Mysterious Stranger was.

These two posts got me enough traction to grow my following and before I knew it, I was The Daily What for other people. I was able to help other artists and content creators get traction and grow their following.

It was a beautiful Tumblr version of paying it forward. Only not as awkward as those weirdos who do it in drive-thru lines.

I ONLY GOT A SODA AND NOW I GOTTA PAY FOR 40 MCNUGGETS?

It's fine.

Enjoy your nugs.

#tumblr history with Froggie

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genericpuff · 8 months

Text

on the closure of MochaJump, and why we're our own worst enemies in this industry.

"MochaJump? What was that?" is probably your first question, and I'm gonna simply respond with, "Exactly."

MochaJump was a small startup platform made by /u/nunojay2 and a second site engineer (whose name I am not informed of) on reddit. It wasn't anything extraordinary, just a startup site that aimed to offer a more viable alternative to Webtoons and Tapas, with a focus on offering equal visibility to creators, focused recommendation algorithms, loosened restrictions on NSFW content, and bigger cuts for creators on their generated revenue.

Of course, such promises are a tall order, but the creator did their best to host regular discussions with creators in art and webtoon communities to get feedback on what creators really wanted out of their platforms, and they researched what they would need to make in order to keep the site afloat (it came out pretty low at $2 per user per month). Hopes were high and the site launched with a small but eager userbase.

It stayed small. The site shut down in November 2022, just 6 months after launching in May 2022.

Now, I'm not gonna sit here on some soapbox and blame anyone for the site closing down. I unfortunately didn't get much chance to use the site myself so there's surely more I could have done on my own part to help it gain traction. But this is a regular occurrence for start-ups like this, especially in an industry that's as notoriously unprofitable as webcomics. We've seen titans such as SmackJeeves and Inkblazers fall, and MochaJump was merely an infant by comparison.

But it makes me think of how we view and treat these startups as a whole. How we as readers and creators alike have become so trained to exclusively use corporate platforms like Webtoons and Tapas on the promise of "bigger gains". Unlike these bigger companies, platforms like MochaJump depend on building a strong userbase as quickly as possible, and need to find ways to generate revenue to keep things running, otherwise it's only a matter of time before they close down. They don't have a massive conglomerate like Naver or Kakao to pad their pockets through their failures. They don't have the money or reach to inject themselves into society through bus terminal ads and convention sponsorships. They don't have the investors to sink money into their platform until it becomes profitable in return.

So we don't use them. Readers don't use them because we don't see the point in using a platform that has no content... and thus creators don't use them because we don't see the point in publishing our content on a platform with no userbase. Creators seek a place that's "tight knit" and "easy to get seen", but will only post to places that come pre-loaded with massive audiences; because it's not enough anymore to have a couple hundred followers, we're in 2023 now, in the year of consumer bloat, where we expect to now pull in thousands if not millions to be considered a "success". And readers seek a place that offers high-quality high-amount content at the tip of their fingertips, but don't want to pay for the access to these works, and in the case of apps like WT, have given up in trying to support these creators through the platforms themselves because they know that those artists they want to support will likely never see a dime.

The fact of this problem is simple, yet many people seem to ignore it - we cannot expect to have a platform that is tight knit, profitable, and sustainable. These places do not exist, not so long as we continue to raise the bar on what makes a "successful" subscriber count, not so long as we continue to patronize platforms that exploit their artists and writers, and not so long as we keep chasing the dragon of "what these websites used to be". These platforms never used to 'be' anything, they merely existed in one point of time that is now long gone, when owning a smartphone was a luxury and not a need, when online video content wasn't being tethered together by ads, and when the Internet wasn't owned and entirely managed by the same three corporations, the likes of which we haven't seen since cable TV.

Platforms like Tapas and Webtoons are - besides unsustainable - unable to exist and profit in the way they do without undercutting someone along the way. Whether it's underpaying their creators, undercutting their communities, or underexposing the works that have been buried, someone will get the shit hand in the deal and that someone is usually ALWAYS someone who will rarely ever stand to gain anything in the long run from using these platforms despite their issues. The 1% got theirs, and the 10% are barely getting by, while the remaining 89% are pushing onwards, because they have faith in the systemic online enshittification that demands conformity to a single formula for "success".

We are our own worst enemies in this industry. Webcomics are one of the few online mediums that still truly belong to the people - anyone can make them, anyone can find joy in them, but we're letting platforms like Webtoons and Tapas and all the other massive corporate apps rob us of that joy and accessibility in the pursuit of "success" and profiting. Webtoons was never the sole way to profit off this medium and yet I still see people every day who underestimate the existence of legitimate publishing houses and self-publishing, who think that publishing on Webtoons and landing an Originals deal is the only way to find success in this industry. This is meant to be the era of creators, of self-starting and self-actualization, and yet we're still handing all of that control over to corporations that only seek to exploit our art, bodies, and labor, while convincing ourselves that this will somehow all be worth it. We stick with Webtoons, despite the numerous controversies it's been involved in and the lack of support it's given even its own hired creators. We stick with Tapas, despite the undercutting of its most core components such as its community and the outlier genres it used to be known for hosting. We find new ways to justify using platforms that are steadily going downhill - Patreon, Twitter/X, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook - because we've been convinced that these are the routes to success, so if we acknowledge their failures, then "success" can no longer exist.

Because we need to pay rent. Because we need to eat. Because we need to survive. Because it's a lot more complicated than just "stepping away". Because the startups just don't have any of the surface level potential for us to immediately identify and get on board with, so we don't give them a chance.

I realize this post got very existential and depressing. I've been creating comics for well over a decade now, largely unnoticed, and I've fallen victim to these same limiting mindsets that we have to stick to one way, one "formula" for success - a formula that changes with the wind and only works for those who get in on the ground floor. It's been slowly killing me from the very beginning, robbing me of my joy to create, of my reason to even do this in the first place - to tell and share stories with others, to express myself creatively, to live my life surrounded by art and stories and creations made by and for others. It's made me tired and miserable, and I can tell it's done the same to those who have shared that boat with me.

But there's one silver lining I can always be sure of, and it's one I was reminded of after realizing I was still in the MochaJump Discord, with one announcement post that I hadn't yet read.

Webcomics are one of the few online mediums that still truly belong to the people. Corporations are trying their hardest to take that power away. Let's not continue to let them.

If you want to help sustain, patronize, and contribute to the growth of sites that are still being operated by small teams (or even one man armies), please, consider checking out the following websites, some of which serve as platforms or publishers, others which operate as link directories for independent sites run by creators.

ComicFury GlobalComix TopWebcomics The Webcomic List The Webcomic Library Hiveworks SpiderForest SmackJeeves Archive Inkblot.art And whoever wants to use the GitHub source code used for MochaJump (RIP)

Let's do our part to decentralize webcomics again. We may not be able to leave the platforms that weakly sustain us, but we can still support those that strengthen and support us.

#also bonus: if you're willing to pay like $10/year for the domain name you can get free hosting on comicfury #essay post #decentralize the internet #decentralize webcomics #fuck webtoons #support small platforms #don't be a coward #use the sites that only net you 20 readers #it costs you literally nothing but a little extra time #i guarantee most of these sites come with more features and more supportive userbases than webtoons #webtoons doesn't even have a fucking TAGGING SYSTEM #why did we allow ourselves to be convinced that webtoons is setting some industry standard ?? they're PISS #WT is literally persephone #riding off daddy warbucks' money while being a big stinking failure of an entity who no one likes but still calls a hero #no wonder WT loves LO so much it's literally an autobiography at this point

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