#i don't know how to explain why i know what i do works for crocheting

[handweavers]

something that comes up for me over and over is a deep frustration with academics who write about and study craft but have little hands-on experience with working with that craft, because it leads to them making mistakes in their analysis and even labelling of objects and techniques incorrectly. i see this from something as simple as textiles on display in museums being labelled with techniques that are very obviously wrong (claiming something is knit when it's clearly crochet, woven when that technique could only be done as embroidery applied to cloth off-loom) to articles and books written about the history of various aspects of textiles making considerable errors when trying to describe basic aspects of textile craft-knowledge (ex. a book i read recently that tried to say that dyeing cotton is far easier than dyeing wool because cotton takes colour more easily than wool, and used that as part of an argument as to why cotton became so prominent in the industrial revolution, which is so blatantly incorrect to any dyer that it seriously harms the argument being made even if the overall point is ultimately correct)

the thing is that craft is a language, an embodied knowledge that crosses the boundaries of spoken communication into a physical understanding. craft has theory, but it is not theoretical: there is a necessary physicality to our work, to our knowledge, that cannot be substituted. two artisans who share a craft share a language, even if that language is not verbal. when you understand how a material functions and behaves without deliberate thought, when the material knowledge becomes instinct, when your hands know these things just as well if not better than your conscious mind does, new avenues of communication are opened. an embodied knowledge of a craft is its own language that is able to be communicated across time, and one easily misunderstood by those without that fluency. an academic whose knowledge is entirely theoretical may look at a piece of metalwork from the 3rd century and struggle to understand the function or intent of it, but if you were to show the same piece to a living blacksmith they would likely be able to tell you with startling accuracy what their ancient colleague was trying to do.

a more elaborate example: when i was in residence at a dye studio on bali, the dyer who mentored me showed me a bowl of shimmering grey mud, and explained in bahasa that they harvest the mud several feet under the roots of certain species of mangroves. once the mud is cleaned and strained, it's mixed with bran water and left to ferment for weeks to months.  he noted that the mud cannot be used until the fermentation process has left a glittering sheen to its surface. when layered over a fermented dye containing the flowers from a tree, the cloth turns grey, and repeated dippings in the flower-liquid and mud vats deepen this colour until it's a warm black. 

he didn't explain why this works, and he did not have to. his methods are different from mine, but the same chemical processes are occurring. tannins always turn grey when they interact with iron and they don't react to other additives the same way, so tannins (polyphenols) and iron must be fundamental parts of this process. many types of earthen clay contain a type of bacteria that creates biogenic iron as a byproduct, and mixing bran water with this mud would give the bacteria sugars to feast upon, multiplying, and producing more of this biogenic iron. when the iron content is high enough that the mud shimmers, applying this fermented mixture to cloth soaked in tannins would cause the iron to react with the tannin and finally, miraculously: a deep, living grey-black cloth.

in my dye studio i have dissolved iron sulphide ii in boiling water and submerged cloth soaked in tannin extract in this iron water, and watched it emerge, chemically altered, now deep and living grey-black just like the cloth my mentor on bali dyed. when i watched him dip cloth in this brown bath of fermented flower-water, and then into the shimmering mud and witness the cloth emerge this same shade of grey, i understand exactly what he was doing and why. embodied craft knowledge is its own language, and if you're going to dedicate your life to writing about a craft it would be of great benefit to actually "speak" that language, or you're likely to make serious errors.

the arrogance is not that different from a historian or anthropologist who tries to study a culture or people without understanding their written or spoken tongue, and then makes mistakes in their analysis because they are fundamentally disconnected from the way the people they are talking about communicate. the voyeuristic academic desire to observe and analyse the world at a distance, without participating in it. how often academics will write about social movements, political theory and philosophy and never actually get involved in any of these movements while they're happening. my issue with the way they interact with craft is less serious than the others i mentioned, but one that constantly bothers me when coming into contact with the divide between "those who make a living writing about a subject" and "those who make a living doing that subject"

[solarmorrigan]

See, just because Steve lets Eddie and the kids play D&D at his house now doesn't mean he's really interested in the game, just the same as even though El and Max sometimes tag along, they're really there to hang out, not play. They each bring their own things to do, and one night El brings a ball of yarn and a shiny little metal hook and a vaguely rectangular yarn-thing that she focuses very hard on while the boys shout in the background.

Steve has no idea what she's doing; he'd say she's knitting, except he's almost certain that involves some kind of sticks, not a hook. But since he's not really doing anything himself, he sits down next to her and asks what she's up to.

"Joyce has been teaching me how to crochet. She says it will help with my hand-eye coordination." El holds up her project with a proud smile. "I am starting with a scarf."

It's not the world's most attractive scarf, but it's not like Steve could do better. He's still not entirely sure what crocheting is, to be perfectly honest. "Is that different from knitting?" he asks.

El nods gravely. "It is," she says, and takes to showing him how she loops the yarn over the hook and pulls it through the stitches in her scarf and adds a few more inches to the row she's working on.

When Steve's attention doesn't completely wane during her demonstration, she pulls a second ball of yarn out of her bag and presents it to Steve.

"Oh, I don't–" Steve tries to demur, but El is determined, and Steve has seen entire dimensions pale in the face of her determination.

This is how he finds himself crocheting a little chain of stitches with just his fingers, the same way Joyce had apparently started El off. El beams at him and returns to her own project, occasionally checking on his progress. The chain is a few feet long by the time everyone needs to be driven home, and Steve decides it actually hadn't been a bad way to pass the time. Kind of relaxing.

The next time everyone is over, El sits down with her scarf, and after a short while, Steve sits down next to her. He compliments how much longer the scarf has gotten (and it does seem like the shape has evened out a bit as she's been going along). She smiles and pulls another ball of yarn out of her bag. This time, she has an extra hook and seems intent on showing Steve what to do with it.

Almost involuntarily, Steve's attention flashes to the group clustered around the table, hesitating to take the yarn from El, and she frowns.

"Joyce says these types of skills are important for everyone to have," El says firmly, and, well– Steve's not really going to argue.

He learns how to crochet a chain with the hook. It feels odd in his hands at first—the shape too small, the metal a little too slick, the yarn not wrapping naturally around his fingers the way it does El's—but he gets the hang of it. When El is pleased with his progress, she shows him the stitch she's been using: a simple single crochet. It's tougher than it looks, and Steve understands immediately why El's scarf is so uneven; neither of them have ever done anything like this before.

Still, he doesn't hate it.

In fact, he really kind of enjoys it.

He enjoys it enough that he asks El to show him more the next time she's over. She's still new herself and is really only working with pretty much the same couple of stitches, but she proudly teaches him what she knows, and Steve picks it up as fast as she's able to lay it down.

Steve goes out and buys his own supplies, no longer content with mooching off of El's. He hadn't realized there were so many different kinds of yarn, and resigns himself to awkwardly asking one of the craft store employees what type might be best for beginners.

The employee—a woman about his mother’s age with a much warmer smile and far less judgement in her eyes—explains with great enthusiasm what all those different types of yarn might be used for, and how the size of the hook affects the outcome of the project, and shows him so many different pattern books his head spins. He realizes that she probably upsells him on a lot of shit, but he leaves with a few different sizes of hooks, some new yarn, and more excitement for a hobby than he's felt probably since high school.

El and Robin are the only ones who know about his new hobby, of course. It's not really that he's ashamed to tell the others, he just knows how teenage boys work and he's not keen on giving a bunch of fifteen-year-olds another reason to bully him. Maybe in a few months. In the meantime, he crochets at home while he's listening to the radio or watching TV, and he crochets at work during down times. Robin finds his newfound hobby morbidly fascinating, but vehemently denies any and all offers to teach her.

("I will find a way to damage myself with that hook and I think we both know that," she says. "It's just kind of wild to see you with a grandma hobby."

Steve threatens to tell El she called it that, and Robin shortly finds a new label for it.)

Fall rolls around and the air acquires a chill sometime in mid-October. Steve's been making practice scarves for a little while now (largely because he really only knows how to make rectangles at this point, but he doesn’t have the attention span for a whole blanket just yet), and he even considers wearing his least heinous attempt despite the fact he's never really wanted for good winter clothes. Then he notices Eddie.

Most of their little group has begun dressing appropriately for the weather, but Eddie doesn't do much more than add a pair of fingerless black gloves and maybe a heavier leather jacket to his ensemble. Steve's not even sure it's because he can't afford it – he's pretty sure it's because Eddie is committed to his aesthetic. Nancy had tried to force an extra scarf on him one day after a little cold snap, when they'd woken to frost on the ground (the scarf is blue, patterned with white snowflakes; it's actually Mike’s, but Mike is also refusing to wear it and Steve suspects Nancy doesn’t want to hold it, but also doesn’t want to get in trouble for letting Mike lose it), but Eddie had declined, insisting it doesn't match his vibe.

Steve can respect this. He himself has a certain aesthetic going on. However, he can also see that Eddie is definitely cold, and that just won't do.

He picks through the scarves and other various wooly things he's accumulated so far, but decides none of them would suit Eddie and, besides that, none of them are really warm enough. If he's going to make Eddie a scarf, it ought to be a good one.

So Steve sucks it up and heads into Melvald's one day when he knows Joyce will be on shift, hoping she won't be too busy for a quick chat.

When he catches her, Steve explains that El had shown him the basics of crocheting but that his ambitions have outgrown his skills and maybe if she isn't too busy sometime, Joyce would be willing to show him a little more?

Joyce, because she’s a saint, says she would be delighted, and invites Steve to come over on their next shared day off.

When he gets there, she tries to ask him who he's making the scarf for, and the best he manages is, "...someone."

Joyce bites down on a smile. "Someone?"

"It's a surprise," Steve finally declares.

"For everyone?"

"Yes."

Joyce bravely manages to not laugh at Steve and instead asks him what kind of scarf he thinks Someone would like.

Steve decides that it needs to be thick, but it should also be soft. It should also be textured, because Ed– because Someone really likes fiddling with things. He can't get too ambitious with colors or patterns, but he decides that black and grey stripes will be perfectly suitable.

(He doesn't kid himself into thinking that by the time their brainstorming session is over, Joyce hasn't figured out exactly who he's talking about, but she's kind enough not to say it out loud.)

Steve's always been good with repetition and patterns—it's probably one of the reasons he’d found crocheting so relaxing in the first place—and he picks up the new stitches with ease under Joyce's deft instruction. She sends him home with the practice piece he'd made with some of her scrap yarn, and after a quick stopover at the craft store on his way home (he briefly gets stuck between shades of grey, but eventually decides on the silvery one over the steely one), he's ready to begin.

He expects making the scarf to be tougher, but once he gets into the rhythm of it, he sails right through. It takes him less than a week (albeit devoting a few solid hours to it every day, possibly more on his days off) to end up with what is, if he may say so himself, a pretty fine scarf.

The challenge comes in actually giving it to Eddie.

Christmas would be an excellent excuse for presenting it to him, except that's a little over a month away, and Steve doesn't want Eddie to go cold until then. Instead, he takes to keeping the scarf in his glove compartment just in case the perfect occasion for giving Eddie a scarf arises.

And much to Steve's surprise, one actually does.

It's right after the first real snow, and Steve has insisted on driving to pick Eddie up so they can hang out (Steve has nightmares about Eddie's driving when road conditions are optimal, never mind when the roads may be icy). He can see Eddie shivering under his jacket, blowing warm air into his cupped hands (Steve wonders if he could learn how to crochet gloves at some point, too. Ones with full fingers), so he ever-so-casually gestures to the glove box and tells Eddie, "Hey, if you're cold, I've got an extra scarf in there."

He's possibly not as casual as he hopes he is (or maybe Eddie just sees through him, like he always seems to), because Eddie gives him a look. "You do, huh?"

"Yep."

Steve concentrates very hard on the road in order to avoid Eddie's eyes. It doesn't stop him from hearing the little laugh Eddie lets out before popping open the glove compartment.

"Oh," Eddie says quietly as he pulls the scarf out, likely having been expecting another castoff piece of outerwear. "This is... actually really nice."

For a moment, Steve can't help but glance over to see the way Eddie is fingering the crocheted ridges of the scarf, running a thumb over the bright silver stripes picked out of the black, and he immediately looks back up at the road.

"Yeah. You should– you can, uh. Keep it. If you want," he says, and wonders what happened to the days when he was smooth.

"No, man, this is, like, for real nice. I couldn't take this," Eddie says, though he's still holding the scarf in his lap.

Steve draws a breath in. "I mean, I was kind of hoping you would, since it's for you."

"Seriously?"

They have unfortunately arrived at Steve's house at this point, and there will be no avoiding the conversation now.

"Yeah," Steve says. "I, uh. Made it for you. So you should take it. Don't let my hard work go to waste, yeah?"

"You're shitting me," Eddie unfolds the scarf and holds it up in delighted scrutiny. "You made this?"

(Distantly, Steve appreciates that the emphasis isn't on "you made this?" Like Eddie doesn't immediately doubt he's capable, only that he's holding a handmade item at all.)

"Yeah. No big deal." Steve shrugs.

"You made this for me." Eddie looks at Steve, and it sounds like that had been meant as a question, though it comes out in flat uncertainty.

"Yeah. Just noticed you were cold, but you won't wear anything that doesn't match your aesthetic," Steve tries to tease, wiggling his fingers at Eddie's outfit, but Eddie doesn't say anything in return.

He doesn't say anything for just long enough that Steve gets insecure all over again, reaching hesitantly for the scarf.

"But, I mean, if that's weird, or whatever, you don't have to-"

"Nope. Fuck off, I'm wearing this forever." Eddie loops the scarf quickly around his neck and squeezes the ends in his hands. "Jesus, this is soft."

Steve grins. "I'm not sure it'll last forever, but I can make you another after than one wears out."

"You'd better," Eddie says, and he's grinning too. "So, what, you knit?"

Steve points a very serious finger into Eddie's face. "Crochet. There's a difference," he says sternly.

Then, because he can't help it, he bops the end of Eddie's nose before getting out of the car, leaving Eddie to scramble out behind him, laughing and calling him a dork as he goes.

(The kids, incidentally, don't tease Steve nearly as much as he'd thought they would when they find out.

This is possibly because they're more mature than he gave them credit for, but more likely it’s because El is standing beside him and daring them to say anything unfavorable about their shared hobby.

Mostly they just let it slide, though Dustin demands to know why Eddie got a scarf and he didn't. Then Lucas wants one, too, because Mike and Max have already received various bits of outerwear from El, and he's not about to be left out. And then Robin, of course, will want to know why Steve hasn’t made her anything, once she finds out that he’s making things for the kids.

Steve resigns himself to a busy winter spent under a pile of yarn.

It's not really a hardship.)

[Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue | Ao3]

[lazycats-stuff]

I'd like to request batfam x male reader, who crotchets a lot. He has some medical issues, so he doesn't go on patrol, he helps out with information gathering though.

When Damian got added to the strays, the reader tried being a good older brother, and he crochets him a little stuffed animal for him as a welcome gift. Everyone in the family has one, even Alfred. Let's say, Damian had a bad day, and coincidentally the reader just finished the crochet animal and goes to his room to give it to Damian. Damian snaps and destroys the stuffed animal in front of the reader, also saying some pretty hurtful stuff. The reader cries because it took a lot of time to male it. You can end it however you want

Take your time <3

Sure. Oh Damian is so dead. Nobody messes with (Y/N).

Summary: Damian messes with the wrong brother.

Warnings: angst, fluff, reader is a sweetheart, everyone loves the reader, unspecified medical problems...

(Y/N) sometimes envied his brothers. If it weren't for his medical problems, he would have been out and running, fighting crimes. But he was still happy with his position as Oracle number two, helping Alfred out when it came to patrol and information gathering.

" Can I get you some more tea, master (Y/N)? " Alfred asked him, standing up.

" Please do. " (Y/N) said, giving Alfred his favorite mug.

(Y/N) turned his head back to the computer, rubbing his eyes. He yawned, putting his hand over his mouth.

" Tired? " Alfred asked as he poured some tea.

" A little bit. " (Y/N) answered.

" Guys, we need access to GCPD data base. " Bruce said through the comms.

" You have an access to it, why do we have to? " (Y/N) asked, confused. Alfred came back with tea, also confused.

" Something is jamming the access. " Bruce explained further. (Y/N) put the tea aside, trying to get into the said database.

" Hmm. Something is happening with the network. It's down... " (Y/N) said, confused.

" I would go to GCPD and check it out. " (Y/N) said, taking his tea.

" Alright, will do. "

With that, it was quiet and they knew that this was in one way or another it for the night. (Y/N) glanced at the crocheted bat he made for Bruce.

(Y/N) had a little bit of tradition for everybody. He makes little stuffed animals. Every single member has one, even Alfred. He would make it for everyone who would come into the family, just to feel welcome.

And it did work. It made all of them feel nice and welcoming. And it made them like (Y/N) and it made everyone more protective of (Y/N). Jason took the number one spot at the amount of protectiveness he had for (Y/N).

Everything changed when Bruce announced he had a biological son. With Talia al Ghul. (Y/N) didn't know what to think about it. Bruce was always saying to use protection, so how did it happen? As a playboy, you are supposed to be a careful person when it comes to sex.

" I'm sorry, how did Damian happen? You are usually the one telling us to watch ourselves, you know, use protection amongst other things. " (Y/N) asked, taking a sip of his tea.

" Talia spiked my drink. " Bruce said, making Jason snort. (Y/N) smacked him on the arm.

" I'm sorry, but how didn't you notice it? " Jason questioned, trying not to lose control again.

" Jason not now. Damian is in the cave, Alfred is going to bring him up. Please be nice. " Bruce said, sighing as he heard Alfred coming.

Everyone turned their heads to see Alfred walking in with a small boy with green eyes and who eerily looked like Bruce at that age. (Y/N) knew because he saw the pictures once. Alfred showed him the photos.

" Everyone, this is master Damian. Master Damian these are master Jason, master (Y/N), master Tim and master Dick. " Alfred introduced Damian to everyone.

Damian didn't say anything, instead he turned back to Alfred to ask him to show him his room.

" I don't know about you, but this is going to be interesting. " Jason said to (Y/N).

" I think he just needs to adjust. It's never easy to come somewhere new. " (Y/N) replied, taking another sip of his tea.

" Will he get a stuffed animal too? " Jason asked, standing up.

" Yup. It's a tradition here so... " (Y/N) said, trailing off.

" If you say so. " Jason said, watching as (Y/N) took last sips of his tea before putting the mug into the sink.

" Any chance I can ask you to help me with a case? " Jason tried as they were going to their rooms.

" Nope. I need my sleep. " (Y/N) said, opening his bedroom door.

" You are mean. " Jason said, chuckling. " Good night. "

" Good night Jay. "

It has been a couple of weeks and (Y/N) finally finished up his stuffed animal for Damian. He made a Robin stuffed animal in his colors. Well, the suits color. Green and red with a R to symbolize the Robin. He was happy with his creation and was now actively looking for Damian.

What (Y/N) didn't know however, was the fact that Damian had a very bad day. To put it bluntly, everything went to shit. Absolutely everything that Damian had planned went to shit. Absolutely everything and there was nothing he could have done to prevent it.

Coincidently, (Y/N) decided to gift the stuffed animal to Damian. He knocked on Damian's door, entering after hearing a harsh what. (Y/N) entered the room, holding his bird in his hands.

" So, we have a tradition here where I make newcomers stuffed animals. So here is yours. "

" I don't need that right now! And I don't need something from someone so worthless to the family! " He yelled grabbing the stuffed bird, ripping it apart.

(Y/N) was heartbroken. He slowly stepped out, closing the door before he started crying in the hall.

" (Y/N), what's wrong?! " Jason asked, confused. He just came from the dining room and seeing his favorite brother sad was something that should be illegal. (Y/N) shook his head, running to his room and slamming the door shut.

Jason scowled, wondering what made (Y/N) upset. Well, who made him upset... He looked at Damian's door and went there. He opened the door and his eyes feel down onto the remains of (Y/N)'s stuffed animal. He looked up at Damian before he jumped at him.

The two started fighting. Jason was blinded with anger and rage, punching wherever he could. Bruce heard the commotion and when he saw what was happening, he had to tear Jason off of Damian.

It was difficult to separate them, but once he did, he was pissed. Beyond angry.

" WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?! " Bruce yelled, mad now.

" He took (Y/N)'s animal and tore it apart! He is heartbroken! You didn't saw him when he started crying! " Jason yelled back, face bloody. The kid can definitely punch.

" Out. I will talk to Damian. " Bruce said calmly. Jason wiped his nose, going straight to the bathroom in his room to clean it up.

He can't allow his brother to see him bloody. He really can't. He washed his face and once he made sure that he has stopped the bleeding, he went to (Y/N)'s room. He opened the door and his heart broke.

(Y/N) was still crying on the bed, curled into a fetal position.

" Oh (Y/N)... Come here. " Jason said softly. (Y/N) sniffed and turned to face Jason. Jason sat down on the edge. (Y/N) moved closer and put his head in Jason's lap.

" Why did he do that? I just tried to be nice... " (Y/N) asked and Jason gently scratched (Y/N)'s scalp.

" I know that. Damian is just Damian... " Jason said, knowing that (Y/N) doesn't like when they are talking negatively about Damian. Or any of them.

Jason stayed like that for a couple of hours and (Y/N) fell asleep during that. Jason didn't mind, but he had to move. He gently put (Y/N)'s head on a pillow. He covered him and left the room.

He didn't expect to see Damian in the hall.

" What do you want? " Jason asked quietly, not to disturb (Y/N).

" I wanted to... Apologize. "

" Did Bruce make you do that? " Jason said, not believing a single word that came out of Damian's mouth.

" No. I just had a bad day and I let it out on the wrong person. " Damian said, meaning every word of it.

" Well, don't wake him up now. You know, everyone has a stuffed animal made by (Y/N). Even Alfred. " Jason said. " Bruce has one near the Batcomputer and sometimes takes it with him somewhere important. He took it to outer space once. " Jason wasn't sure why he was telling that to Damian, but it felt important that he knows. " Again, don't wake him up. " Jason said, leaving Damian.

Damian had no plans on doing it.

[kissesbyliz]

miguel o'hara with a gf who crochets

your head is lazily perched upon the wide expanse of miguel's lap, the quiet hum of some nature documentary dull in your ears. your hands are occupied with your usual: a 5 millimeter hook in one and the other steady in tensioning your yarn. your project, currently consisting of a single floppy chain, hangs passively in front of your face.

above you, the love of your life attempts to engage himself in said documentary. it's one that miguel isn't particularly interested in. being the nerd that he is (though he'll never admit it), his tastes lie more in genetics and chemistry. but he knows that it makes you happy, which is why he can't seem to find it within himself to even ask if he can change the channel.

he's able to endure the sporadic squaks of birds and the chittering of monkeys long enough, before his eyes inevitably drag down to your form.

"and what are you making today, cariño?" miguel asks conversationally, hand idly stroking up and down your forearm. he knows you don't like it when he distracts you from crocheting, but he's convinced that if he sees one more insect fly into the mouth of a venus fly trap, he may actually die of boredom.

thankfully, you don't seem to mind. "a tote bag!" you answer with a smile, hands momentarily pausing their actions in favor of showing him the few rows you've created. what's displayed before him is a thin rectangle of yarn, about a foot in length. "look, do you think it's wide enough?"

miguel takes it into his hands for closer inspection. if he's being honest, he's not sure what he's looking at, but he's grateful that you value his opinion anyway.

"i don't know. how big do you want it?" he asks, releasing the piece so you can also take a look.

"um, normal sized maybe? but i don't wanna get up to reference another bag." you whine, stretching the piece out and turning it every which way to see if you're satisfied with it.

he laughs. "want me to get one of yours?" a hand grasps your hip to keep you steady as he begins sliding out from underneath you.

your head jerks up in protest, arm coming out to stop him. "no! stay here, i'll just eyeball it." you pout, eyeing your creation with scrutiny. your head shifts, pressing deeper into his thighs as if to convince him to not move again.

miguel sighs exasperatedly. evidently, you've chosen to wallow in the hell that you've created for yourself. as your hands eventually resume crocheting your piece, he takes a moment to appreciate every delicate motion of your fingers. even after inspecting you work for all the months you've been together, it's still hard for him to wrap his head around how each stitch is made.

once, after an impulsive inquiry from him, miguel's tried his own hand at the craft. under your enthusiastic guidance, he found himself able to understand how to make a chain, and not much else beyond that. his patience soon ran out after you tried to explain the concept of skipping chains to him.

"why make chains if i'm just going to skip over them?" he had asked you frustratedly, beginning to feel his hand cramp up with the unfamiliar motions.

you laughed at that, evidently amused by his struggling, and miguel thinks its one of the most lovely sounds he's ever heard. he glanced up to meet your glee filled face, and felt his heart stutter in his chest.

"you're staring," you sing quietly, returning his gaze with a cheeky grin. he rolls his eyes, hand coming up to pinch your cheek in mock annoyance.

"it's hard not to." he says, his words too sweet for the tight (not tight, you're just being dramatic) squeeze he has on your cheek. he hears you whine at the touch, and he can't help but smile fondly.

how'd he get so lucky?

[stuffeddeer]

HEAR ME OUT PLZPLZ imagine dazai with an s/o thats just ALWAYS stresses about something and it really bothers them but dazai just knows EXACTLY what to say to give them some peace of mind🙏

Dazai with a stressed reader | Bungo Stray Dogs | Dazai x reader

dazai gets a little annoyed at first

he's a smart man but i think he'd assume you're overplaying it at the beginning just to be silly like he sometimes does

which bothers him because there are so many things to be actually stressed about!!!! but you're nervous over deciding dinner!!!!

but pretty quickly he realizes that omg you actually just get stressed super easily! oops

he turns into gentle and quiet reassurances, mentioning that he's hungry for something specific and asking if you wanna tag along so you aren't worried about deciding what's for dinner

mentioning that he's bored and wants to tag along for your mission because he knows you'll feel less stressed knowing he's there to back you up

and once you two start dating, he's more up front about it!!! wants to help you stop feeling so stressed all the time :)

so he helps with bettering your responses to stress and working out better coping mechanisms!

taking deep breaths, hiding in his chest to be away from everything for a few moments (definitely not an excuse to hold you close!! dazai would neverr use your stress to his benefit!!..... most of the time!)

dazai makes sure you have time to actually relax and focus on things for yourself!!! knitting or crocheting can help or just having something to focus on with your hands 🙂‍↕️ write this down anon

he himself doesn't practice healthy eating or sleeping habits but they do help with stress so suddenly he's Mr. Pinnacle of Health and ushering you to bed at 9pm every night 💀

dazai is more for actions than words, but whenever you need it he's there to help logically explain why everything will be alright or lend an ear when you just need to vent about it all!!!!

he'll definitely offer more nsfw services to help you relax too . feel free to just hit him he'll get the message 👍🏻

if that doesn't work and you prefer more vocal methods, he'd definitely piece together the most perfect speech to help you relax, like how he's always the voice in atsushi's head telling him what needs to be done and stay calm (except out loud and to you) but that's more of a last resort

^^ unless you're on a mission and obviously don't have time for the rest!!!! then it's temporary solve now with a few words and permanent solutions later (meditation/deep breathing/etc)

dazai smells and he's the worst (affectionate) so i think he'd rather avoid directly talking about the issues at hand, but that doesn't mean he'd be bad at keeping you company and soothing your troubles!!! he just has a different way to go about it :)

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

After a reply on my petty weaving-in-ends post, I have realized you all need to know about the glory of

~~~~TECHknitting~~~~

What, a blogspot site, in this, our year of 2022? Yes.

Look, are you just getting into knitting, and you've followed a couple of patterns or tutorials, but you don't really get why things go a certain way? Or are you an advanced knitter looking for refined techniques, ways to smooth some things out? Perhaps, like me, you want a clear explainer of a certain cast on/bind off, so you can clearly see how it works while you do it, and you can't stand learning things from a video you have to keep pausing, the fast forwarding, then going back to that one part you needed to see again?

TECHknitting is for you. The writer is a very experienced knitter, and better, a curious one, who develops and improves techniques, and makes the best, clearest, color-coded diagrams of the hows and whys and which ways of knitting. An archive of articles 16 years deep, each as good as the last. There's even an index by subject.

A taste:

Here is an exhaustive explanation of my favorite all-purpose cast on, with diagrams of what to do with your hands, tips for variations/improvements, and links to other relevant posts.

A thorough exploration of why your stockinette scarf curls, while garter/ribbing/seed stitch don't, due to the nature of the stitches & their relation to each other. A multi-part series, with solutions that don't work and why, and ways to modify patterns & existing items to fix it. Like do you wanna really understand the fabric you're creating, & why it behave the way it does? This is the shit.

A whole series on knitting better bands & cuffs

Posts about how to pick up stitches properly, where "properly" means "so it'll look the way you want", ie not just bc the knitting gods said so, but how and why it'll affect the fabric you're making, so you can choose the outcome you want.

Basic crochet for knitters, and how crochet techniques can be used to improve your knitting.

A favorite (complicated) bind off, and a way to fake it. And, as usual, why/when you'd want to choose one technique over the other, and technical details on how and why the two bind offs act the way they do.

Different ways to match your cast on to your bind off.

I could go on; in fact I'm having to force myself not to just keep reading these all afternoon. Seriously, it's so good.

[windvexer]

Heyy! If it’s not too much of a hassle what are some divination tips for tarot? Sometimes it feels like I am really good and than other times it’s like ehh

Sure, I could use a break before I start crocheting again 😅

I want to emphasize that tarot is one of those things where people really build up personal beliefs around it, so the following is in no way universal. It's all just what I currently feel and believe, heavily influenced by my beliefs as a spirit-working witch.

Most of the actual tips are at the end. I hope this helps!

Structures and Methodology

Tarot can't "magically" come up with valid answers no matter how it's put into use. It's a hammer and a screw situation; sometimes, using the tool incorrectly is less than useless.

Not all tarot spreads are very useful. The type of spread can have a huge influence on success. Try setting aside 'one question per card' spreads and see if that helps improve consistency in your results.

Not all tarot meanings are very useful. Tarot card meanings evolve and change over time. Modern meanings tend to be much more heavily skewed towards topics of introspection and self-help. Try reading books about the history and interpretations of tarot cards themselves to expand your understanding of each card. I recommend The Mystical Origins of the Tarot by Paul Huson for a strictly historical look.

Not all tarot questions are very useful. Learning how to phrase and frame questions, along with how to select a spread to place them in, are vital skills for the reader. Try focusing on strictly defined, open-ended questions.

Not every tarot deck is useful for every reader. It can come down to art and author meanings, but it can also come down to personal connection: a deck may work great for you for reading some types of questions, but fall flat on other types; or be more hit-or-miss. If you have multiple decks, try rotating between them or doing deck interviews to discover what types of questions they best address.

Memorizing the cards is not necessarily useful. It's not just that there are 78 cards, with 78 potential reversed meanings, each card in and of itself potentially having multiple meanings; it's also that depending on context, the core meaning can entirely change. Professional readers at events will pull out the guidebook and look up card meanings. There is no actual reason to try and memorize the cards unless you really just want to.

It's useful to have a map that helps navigate the cards. By adopting simple structures that paint large parts of the deck with broad meaning, interpretations can be easier to tackle. Another popular 'map' is the Fool's Journey.

You don't have to use the entire deck for every reading. Only using some parts of a deck to read is called reading with a restricted deck, and I really recommend practicing it as a way to develop a relationship with the deck structure. It can also be a very useful way to focus readings on one area of life (e.g., a new business venture reading may be read using only Wands and Pentacles).

That being said,

Check to see if cards are accidentally missing. Reading with a restricted deck is one thing, but I find my readings go weird if a card accidentally fell out and is lost.

You should take notes on your readings. I know it's a hassle, but the information you can glean and analyze from your own work is invaluable to figuring a lot of stuff out, like, what kinds of spreads work best for me? And what kinds of questions do I excel or fail at? Because next comes...

Energy and Individuality

Some questions are more draining or difficult to read than other questions. Here are my illustrated beliefs on the matter, explaining why some questions that seem straightforward can be nigh impossible to grasp. Try taking notes on the scope of the questions you can answer well.

Not all diviners are equally skilled at reading on all things. A diviner may have a special talent for certain types of questions (such as the outcomes of new ventures, or navigating the inner landscape), yet may fall flat when it comes to other questions (relationships or social intent, for example).

Any specific situation may have barriers to being read clearly. This is true even of mundane situations not expected to have magical influence. Sometimes, a certain situation, person, or concept will be shielded from view - and that can have nothing to do with the reader or querent.

Celestial timing may be a factor. Things like moon phase, time of year, or time of day can sometimes influence people's abilities to easily connect or easily interpret cards. Try paying attention to timing as part of note-taking and see if that's a factor.

Caffeine, drugs, alcohol, and rest can be a factor. Once I reach a certain level of fatigue (usually before bedtime) I can't read at all. Caffeine can sometimes also "close the veil" for me and limit me from being able to interpret readings. It might not be a factor for everyone, but it's something to pay attention to!

For practitioners, metaphysical workings can use up all available energy for divination. I find that my "pool" of magical energy feeds both my divination and my spellwork. Exhausting myself in one area (such as doing lots of energy work exercises) means I have exhausted myself in another area (no juice left for readings).

Witchcraft and Magic

Spells and wards can affect your ability to perform divination, sometimes in weird and unexpected ways. Go through spell notes to see if there is a chance prior, ongoing spells may be messing with your ability to read on certain questions. A big giveaway is when divination doesn't seem to work well specifically within a warded area, but this isn't a strict rule.

Prepare a place of reading, or reading cloth, enchanted to assist with finding answers. By consecrating and tending to such a place, such as a divinatory altar or divinatory reading mat, powers of far seeing, truth, and accuracy can be accumulated and much more easily raised. For those that have the space, a full divinatory altar can be an extraordinary tool. For such places, especially consider the power of symbols which open roads and gates.

Prepare a Charm of True Reading. Find, or develop, a small rhyme, charm, or prayer that calls on powers which support you and requests that your upcoming reading be clear and true. Repeat this before each reading, as desired.

Prepare an oil. A skin-safe carrier oil steeped with bay laurel, star anise, and lavender; or just bay leaf if the grocery store fails you, can be enchanted (especially under the full moon) to assist with opening the second sight and securing more accurate readings. Dab some on your forehead, ideally along with the Charm of True Reading.

Prepare a head covering. For some people, covering the head and/or partially blocking vision, can assist with entering divinatory headspace and with the receipt of visions and intuitive connections. As much as I like fancy things, I often end up using sunglasses and a hat. Being in a dark room might help as well, especially if you can get a candle in there.

Prepare incense. Here again bay laurel, star anise, and lavender can serve if you're able to powder and burn your own blends (remember to enchant them); but an enchanted stick of commercial incense will be fine (in any scent). Enchant the incense for the purpose of casting away doubt and influences that cause ill-sight, and to create an energetic haven where answers readily arrive to be interpreted by you, the reader.

Cast a circle. If you like to write your own rituals, especially focus on the concept of the circle being a liminal space between time that connects the worlds, almost like Grand Central Station where many threads of fate (and information) meet.

Consecrate your deck. Use any consecration ritual you like, but especially one that employs powers supportive of divination, true seeing, and psychism. This is almost certainly best done on a full moon. Consecrate your deck to be a tool which can peer into the threads of fate on your behalf, and then only reflect absolute truth back to you.

Enchant a tool to nurture and safeguard your decks. A lovely amethyst stone or clear quartz (or any variety of stone, bought or found), maybe one marked as special by putting it in a handy net, can be enchanted to be a protector of any deck it sits on. The value of this is to keep the deck enthroned in an additional layer of protection against untruth, but also to keep it bathed in energy related to divination and psychism. For those worried about decks getting magically "dirty," this is a good solution.

Also, cleansing decks sometimes is necessary, but it can be an easy operation. I find that spreading the entire deck face-down and mixing up all the cards in a big pile provides an adequate cleansing much of the time.

Spirit Work

Show your deck some love by providing it with offerings and a shrine, just as you would for an honored spirit. If the shrine isn't possible, an offering is excellent - maybe once weekly or monthly (depending on how often you use it), and even a small offering before each reading is useful. In my beliefs, this action goes far beyond making a deck happy with you - it can provide real, tangible effects on energy drain and the 'power' of your readings.

Petition gods, ancestors, or helper spirits. Beyond a Charm of True Reading, simply praying to helpful and benevolent powers to provide an assist can be really helpful. This is also an important way to develop a relationship with a guiding divinatory power. Speaking of which,

Get in good with a god or spirit who is associated with divination, psychism, etc. The Moon itself is a very solid choice. Apollo can see the future, and his buddy Bay Laurel (whom itself can be worked with as a divinatory spirit) can pack quite the punch. The dead are often said to be very good at helping with divination, but necromancy isn't for everyone. A witch who wants to become powerful in the ways of divination is wise to seek out helper spirits who are very good at this task.

Don't forget the gods and spirits of the thing you want to read on. If I wanted to know whether or not selling something online is worth the trouble, I might not just ask a far-seeing spirit to help me. I might also petition Hermes to grant me special insight into his domain. You can even use other spells you've cast (such as a prosperity spell) as a "foothold" into a certain area, but that's a whole topic in and of itself.

From time to time, a spirit may cause trouble. Divination can sometimes be interfered with by spirits who are upset with us. General offerings to appease offended spirits, or to make nice with the spiritual neighborhood around you, are well undertaken. They can be done even if you don't know that you've actually upset anyone.

[chaos-bites]

ah, sigyn! if you have any tips on how to begin worship, i’d love to know, as i’ve been wanting to honor her for a while.

Hey, Nonny!

For me, I began worshipping her after Loki introduced us. It was incredibly difficult to find information on her, unfortunately. I ended up pulling most of my knowledge from the myths and what little else I could find on modern worship. I had found some interesting accounts of modern worship in localized Scandinavian communities, but I can't remember where I found that source. 💀

When reaching out to her, I'd say just be yourself and be respectful, as you would with any deity. Personally, I got her a flower-scented candle, carved her name into the wax, lit some sweet-smelling incense, and lit the candle. I've heard from another Sigyn worship that you can do a ritual where you "hold the bowl" for her, so to speak. This is done by filling a bowl with water and holding it in your hands at her altar for however long you'd like. In this way, it was explained to me that you're holding the bowl of serpent venom for her to give her a break from tending to Loki. I don't personally believe in the myths in a literal sense, but I think the thought that goes into this ritual is what matters.

I suggest reaching out to @broomsick or @notthesomefather for more information; they both have some great resources on Norse deities, although I'm unsure if they know much about Sigyn either. I know Broom in particular is huge on learning about the historical worship of the Norse deities, so I wouldn't be surprised if they have at least something for you. c:

In regards to my personal associations with Sigyn, I'd be happy to share them, but be aware that they're mostly UPG based. Here are some things I associate with her:

Wolves (for her sons, Váli and Narfi); I usually depict them in wholesome, cute, or kind ways

Serpents (I don't usually give offerings related to them, though, due to their negative role in her myth)

Otters, orcas, polar bears/grizzly bears, reindeer/deer, and sometimes moths; most I associate due to their strong familial bonds and pack/herd nature

Bowls, especially ones with beautiful designs

Intricately designed plates, especially those that tell a story or are vintage

Her name is believed to mean "Friend of Victory", "Victory Friend", or something similar to the two; I therefore associate her strongly with victory and overcoming challenges

Family, familial love, loyalty, devotion, resilience, persistence, dedication, inner strength, compassion, caregiving, patience, and fidelity ← domains I associate with her

Light-colored flowers and plants

The colors light pink, gold, yellow light blue, and earthy shades of green and brown

Objects crafted out of love for another person or creature (drawings, wood carvings, crocheted works, etc.)

Family heirlooms, especially those passed down from a maternal figure

Childhood toys, stuffed animals, comfort items, etc. (bonus points if you tell her the stories behind them and why you loved them so much)

Poetry written for or about her, art made of or about her

Defensive weapons; a wolf may not attack humans often, but it still has teeth and claws if needed (protection of loved ones is my reasoning here)

Honey, herbal teas, warmed pastries, warmed breads, soups, and childhood comfort foods

It's not a big list of things, and like I said, it's mostly UPG, but I hope it helps. Take care, and I wish you the best, Nonny! 💚🖤

[6okuto]

Hii!! can I request oikawa having “the great-queen of seijoh” as his girlfriend? I’ll explain: so basically oikawa is the great-king of seijoh right? He has lots of fangirls and is in class 6 AND is the captain and star setter of the volleyball team. What if his girlfriend is just as popular and constantly gets love letters and bouquets from others, and she’s really sweet and pretty so, others view her as the ideal woman and student, and nickname her as the great-queen; and what if she is the manager of the volleyball team?

THE QUEEN OF SEIJOH

no warnings | yes u can absolutely req that. i did write it in 3rd person rather than 2nd,, i hope that's ok/what u wanted! 👩🏻‍💻👩🏻‍💻

never in these people's lives will they ever again see such a power couple. when they started dating it was fate. at least that's what people said in the halls while the couple walked past holding hands

a lot of oikawa's fangirls can't even be mad because,, she doesn't give them a reason to. she's so so nice to all of them and understands why they'd like him because well,, so does she LOL

^ plus the few times they tried starting trouble with her, oikawa and her fans were basically ready to fight, and that's not a war you want to fight

oikawa and his girlfriend's fan clubs teaming up. not even just for events and stuff, but if anyone tries to mess with their relationship?? they're about to face the wrath of dozens of fans because What's Wrong With You

most people are smart/respectful enough to not confess to either of them but sometimes,, you know how things go. one time someone tried personally handing oikawa's girlfriend a love letter while she was waiting for him outside, and the look on oikawa's face when he saw. woah. get that guy out of there

like of course they'll be rejected. whether that rejection is gentle or not depends on how respectful the confession was. don't bring up that one girl who said she'd be a better girlfriend to this couple unless you want oikawa to start ranting and ruining his image

oikawa's annoying btw (said so lovingly). he will Literally buy bigger bouquets, more food, make better, personalized gifts, etc. after witnessing his girlfriend's gift pile.

where do you think she got that sweater that has his initials on one sleeve and hers on the other, little hearts beneath? or that crochet flower bouquet with her favourite flowers/colours? or that unfolding love letter he wrote over the span of like 4 days? or those joke matching shirts that say "her king" and "his queen"? or

oh volleyball practice...oikawa pouts and whines, "can't i get some special treatment as your boyfriend?" which is easily met with a smile and "nope. i'll even make you do extra if you ask."

does the entire team react ranging from a snicker to a cackle? yes of course. but fair is fair and tooru does get back to practice

he'll regularly tease her but as soon as he gets the opportunity to? oikawa will tell the team to make her life easier and to Work Hard! you don't want to disappoint seijoh's queen would you? and everyone just looks at him. like be so serious rn

of course she and the team get along and bond over this dynamic. they love her!! both because she can give them ammo against their captain, and because she's genuinely super sweet and makes sure they're taking care of themselves.

GAH...just imagining oikawa telling her notes about the team so she can work it into her own plans and stuff (and vice versa .) it means a lot to them that she's working hard to help everyone be their best but also? these two strategizing is Scary. you have to just listen in awe at the plans they come up with

it must be said that she holds her role as manager over oikawa when he's over-working. she'll start cleaning up and pull him away, saying that he's important to the team and as the manager, it's her responsibility to make sure he's well-rested. oikawa asks "and as my girlfriend?" (fully knowing her answer.) she sighs before pushing his hair back or squeezing his cheek. "i still want the same thing, tooru."

somebody help everyone who doesn't know these two are dating at games. if they don't know about seijoh's royalty when they get there, they're About To. is it a normal thing for the manager to also have fans and signs in the crowd ?

also as if it isn't already obvious they're dating, oikawa offers his jacket for her to wear while they warm up and also,, maybe,, loudly asks "isn't my girlfriend the best manager ever?" bro could not be more conspicuous

y'know how everyone acts with kiyoko? yeah. imagine that except instead of noya and tanaka it's fucking,, oikawa tooru + the rest of aoba johsai's volleyball team appearing. woah. i'd piss myself

the teams may have problems with oikawa, but his girlfriend? whenever he's being smug or whatever else, she comes over and pulls him back while apologizing. there's something funny about oikawa pouting and whining when he's so renowned

🏷 | @devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @leexshin @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @idontlikeyourjob @sparrowb3nscloset @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @dimslover @kuroaka @sunaslay @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @the-b-u-n-n-y @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @tooruchiiscribs

[nee-biter]

I need more stuff about Miguel x Peter x MJ x Reader😭😭 (fills my need for a polyamorous relationship :') )

Poly relationship Headcanons | Miguel x Peter B x MJ x Reader

a/n: Me when I accidentally became a polyamorous relationship promoter/advocate 🫣 Thanks for the requestttt <33

SFW

MIGUEL IS IN LOVE WITH YOU

He always has been, ever since you first mumbled an 'I love you' while half-asleep and cradled in his arms that one morning. He woke you up just to tell you he loves you too.

Marrying you was only natural, since you complete him and he was the only one to understand you, too. When Miguel looks at your eyes, the only thing he wants is to get lost in them forever. You being his wife is something he'd always boast and mention in the PA system in Spider Society tbh (not because he was a lonely oldie before u 💔) but because he's happy you're with him in everything he does. Your presence as he works, as he hyperfixates about the multiverse, as he eats, as he sleeps, has made his life ultimately better.

MJ HAS A CRUSH ON YOU

She started having butterflies in her stomach for you at such an inconvenient time—before getting married (for a second time) with Peter B. You were there beside her, helping her breathe in and out when she doubted Peter B would even be at the end of the aisle.

She could've sworn that your eyes sparkled in that blue dress you wore as her maid of honor. She almost made the stupid move of kissing you as you were comforting her, but that must've been the wedding jitters, right? Right? (She realized she was wrong when she returned from her honeymoon and palpitated when she saw you in a dazzling outfit).

PETER B THINKS YOU'RE COOL

Not as cool as his wife (obviously), but he absolutely enjoys your company. When you visit his and MJ's house to babysit Mayday or to have a chat with his wife (or him, though not as often), your good vibes spread throughout the house. Peter considers you a reliable confidant.

When him and MJ were running out of ideas on how to feed Mayday vegetables, you came up with a solution to hide them under a heap of rice. When Peter was having trouble thinking of what to give MJ after an argument, you suggested he just apologized clearly and authentically, and everything would work out. Peter starts getting suspicious of you, though, and why you know so much about his wife.

How did you four decide you wanted to be in a relationship with each other?

Honestly, you have Peter to thank for that. He realized that his wife's feelings for you were getting stronger by the day and that your feelings for her were getting harder to ignore every double date night. He didn't think it was bad—on the contrary, he just wanted you two to confess, so you could talk negotiations.

At one point, Peter just asked outright, "Do you guys have a thing for each other?" And you two laughed like crazy while him and Miguel were like ??😫??

The answer was yes.

For Miguel and you, it didn't affect your relationship in its entirety. But he was a bit pouty. "Am I not enough for you? Is there something I'm lacking?" was his mantra at the start of it, but you had to reassure him that this wasn't true. You're always open and transparent with him, which made him trust your judgement. Also, you give him more kisses to stop him from sulking a lot 🫶

For Miguel and Peter, it made them a bit awkward at first, before Miguel realized that no other spider-person checks up on him or dotes on him as much as Peter B does. Peter B always left small offerings for Miguel when he worked late at night in the 2099 lab. "I brought you a blanket me and Mayday crocheted. Don't forget to rest, big guy! Sleep on the floor if you have to. Better than not sleeping at all." Miguel keeps all the notes Peter leaves him.

For MJ and Peter, it was more of a 'how-to-explain-this-to-Mayday-thing,' Especially, if Mayday was at that stage where she would be able to tell what kissing, what romance, and the like could look like. Neither of them were that worried though. "I mean, honey, Mayday sees a lot of insane stuff in Spider Society all the time~!!" Peter B would argue.

For MJ and Miguel, it brought them a bit closer, considering they had more in common now. MJ hoped that it wouldn't be so weird for Miguel, but every now and then, she says something like this: "So, your wife tastes good— I mean, your wife's cooking tastes good! Her pork carnitas are amazing. Yes, that's what I meant. Sorry." "Be honest, that's not what you meant."

For you and Peter, it definitely opened up more bonding opportunities. Despite you four dating, you and him always think of each other as besties; which is why you both peer pressure your two lovely, more reserved spouses to stuff like kayaking, boat rides, halloween trick-or-treating. "Hey, do you think MJ and Miguel would be cool with going to an adult playground for brunch?" "IDK, Will there be brunch?"

For you and MJ, it was basically extending your already-intimate friendship to even more intimacies. She cuddles!! A lot!! And you kiss her on the forehead, just as many times as she needs it!! Your relationship with her was an understanding one; she always initiates touch with you. "Baby, stay here for longer, please." "MJ, you're so cute, but Peter's like... right there"

RANDOM STUFF

In terms of cooking skills: You > Miguel = MJ > Peter B

MJ would bake for you! Cookies and bread for you to take home so you can munch on them when you and Miguel would watch movies and cuddle at the sofa at night.

Peter B would invite you and Miguel to picnics or beach outings with him and MJ!! He would always bring Mayday to play frisbee with him and Miguel, if ever it was a 👁family-safe👁 occasion

Miguel would ask MJ for help when it comes to surprising you for your birthdays. He understands that you're BIG on birthdays, so he needs all the help he can gets to make sure the day is extra-special for you!!! He'll dress up as a bunny just to make you smile 😞

SUPER MARIO PARTY and Peter B always chooses Bowser Jr.!!!! Miguel likes Donkey Kong "just because" and MJ picks Yoshi because he's silly-looking.

The first one in Spider Society to find out that the four of you were dating was Gwen. Because she was about to drop off the hair-dryer that she borrowed at your doorstep, only to see that Miguel and Peter kissed as he and MJ were leaving your house.

Gwen tried keeping the secret, buuuuuut she told Miles, who told Pav, who told Hobie, who told Margo, who told Noir, and at some point, Lyla just had to inform Miguel that the secret was out 🤓

In terms of who gives the best back massages: Miguel > Peter B = MJ > You

For everyone's sake, do not give a back rub.

The four of you love each other 🫶 and it's so evident in the way all four of you stay supportive in everything you guys do and in the way that you're all tender with each other's presence

Thank you for reading ✨ I'll upload an nsfw version if it's in demand (feel free to request)!!

[13a07s]

My Home

(Keishin Ukai Smut)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to Honeyutopia]

Requested by: Nada

Word Count: 3,659

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Name Calling: Toots, Baby, Tootsie Roll, Bitch, Shit, Babe

Teasing Threats of Violence

Smacking

Hair Pulling

Blow Job

Head Pushing

———————————————————————

     The sound of shoes against the wooden stairs tips me off to Keishin's return. My eyes occasionally glance at our bedroom door, my focus on listening to him move around the apartment instead of the TV show I'm watching. His keys jingle as he hangs them by the door, his voice soft as he grumbles to himself. "Toots?"

     "In here!" I call, turning my focus back to the TV. My hands go back to focusing too, slowly continuing to crochet the blanket I've been working on. The box tucked into the corner of our closet is full. This last blanket will push it to overflowing. I'll have to ask Keishin to bring the box to the shelter when I'm done with this project.

The door squeaks as he pushes it up, my pretty boy leaning in the frame, his hands clinging to the top of it, and his arms stretched out as he leans forward. "There's my Toots. Let me show you my Roll."

"Pervert," I giggle, sparing him a glance and a head shake. "I'm not going to let you flash me."

"Aw, why not?" I can hear the grin in his voice almost as well as I can hear his footsteps across the room. "You know I love it when you stroke my, uh, ego." As I expected, Keishin's face is drenched in a smile even with his eyes drowning in exhaustion.

He kicks off his shoes, the sound of them and his bag hitting the floor promising another thing on my to-do list tomorrow. Keishin crawls into the bed, stretching out diagonally so his feet hang off but his head can rest in my lap, arms snug around my waist.

     My arms and project fall still underneath him, the ball of yarn and my crochet hook probably stabbing into his torso. "Rough day?" I murmur, tugging my hands out from under him. They settle on his back, gently massaging as my eyes trail over his t-shirt. They float across the white material like a boat in a foamy sea, enjoying the bright cloth and the way it hangs on his body. No longer an athlete but still the loose build of one. What a wonderful situation I get to enjoy.

"Not rough, just long. A bit stressful too," he answers, the words coming out jumbled because of his face buried in my lap. Keishin steadily starts to relax under my touch, the knots in his muscles starting to become more evident. "The farm was just a blur, then the store, and ya. Then the boys are all worked up about their practice match this weekend and I don't know. Hoping for the best, preparing for the worst, you know?"

"I know, Baby," I coo, focusing my attention on his shoulders. My thumbs dig into his muscles, starting the slow but needed job of working out his sores.

"I think I have a plan though."

"Oh, ya?"

     "Ya," Keishin sighs, rolling his shoulders to adjust to the new feel of them. "We're going to use Tsukishima - the tall one with glasses - as a sort of director, I guess."

     "How is he going to be a director?" I half listen to his explanation, cozying into the rhythm of his voice and the feel of my hands soaking in his body heat. Occasionally, I nod my head, hum, or throw out an "oh ya?"

     "But anyway, that's my plan. I don't know how well it's going to work, let alone how to explain it to the kids."

     "Do you want to practice?" I ask, my focus falling away from his back. Instead, I mess with the small silver hoops dangling from his ear, rotating them through his piercings. "If I can understand what you're trying to say I'm sure the boys will get it too."

"Really?" He mutters, lifting his head to peer up at me.

"Ya, Baby." My hand slides away from his ear, falling to rest against his face, my thumb rubbing his cheek.

     A soft smile settles on his lips, his head tipping to press into my hand some more. "You're the best, Toots."

     "Don't tell the others," I tease, leaning down to be closer to his face. "You'll dry up my street cred and then I'll have to beat you to get it back."

"Oh, I know. But I so love it when you beat me," Keishin teases right back, closing the gap between us with a kiss.

"Pervert," I grumble when we pull apart, rolling my eyes at him.

"You love it."

"Oh, do I?"

"Yes," he drags out the word, a mischievous smile crawling on his face. "You love it so much," he adds, gripping my waist tighter.

"Kei, what are you doing?" He doesn't answer me, softly chuckling instead. His hands loosen their hold, sliding down before sliding back up again, this time under my shirt. "Keishin? What are you doing?" I repeat, squirming to try and escape his hold. I already know it's too late, and so does he.

Keishin grabs me again, yanking me down so I'm lying on the bed instead of propped up against the headboard. I jerk around in his hold, trying to get free before I'm trapped underneath him. He eagerly fights back, quickly overpowering me and sandwiching me between himself and the mattress. "What now, Tootsie Roll? Hmm? Can't get free, can you?"

"I'm going to beat your behind when I get free, Keishin!" I declare, trying to push him off of me. He barely moves from my effort.

     "Oh, ya, Toots. You're doing such a good job at it. Maybe I should make it a little more difficult."

     "What does that mean? Baby, what are you scheming - "

     My questions are cut off by Keishin's fingertips dancing over my sides, my nerves spiraling and twirling in response. My body jerks from the sensation, giggles being ripped from my lungs as I try to escape his touch. "Oh, oh, oh. Someone isn't a big mouth off anymore is she?" He teases, plopping kisses against me anywhere he can. "What happened to that bad little bitch that was threatening me? Who was oh so worried about her street cred?"

     "She's still going to beat your ass!" I manage to push out despite my laughter. The mix of rough fingers toying with my sides and gentle lips against my body make for a weird but comfortable mix. It makes for a perfect example of how love-struck and wild Keishin is for me.

Soon, his fingers stop attacking me, wrapping around me instead. "God, Toots," he whispers, wrapping his arms tighter and pulling me close against him. Our bodies mold together, my back slightly arched from Keishin's attempt to pull me closer. His head buries into my neck, nuzzling against my throat as he takes slow and deep inhales. "You always smell good. Like my heaven. Like my home."

I giggle again, this time soft and gentle instead of the high-pitched, rapid laughs from my tickle attack. "Gosh, someone must have had a rough day if he's being all soft and gushy."

     "Do I have to have a long day to be 'soft and gushy' with my Toots?"

     "Yes."

     "Fuck you," Keishin barks around a mouthful of chuckles. One of his hands jumps up, balling up a fistful of hair and yanking my head to the side. "Do you not like me all soft, Tootsie Roll?"

     "I do," I mutter, drowning my eyes in the sight of my cocky husband. "Especially since you're only soft for me, you cocky little shit."

     "I'm the cocky shit? Says the lady that says I'm only soft for her, which is completely false by the way, Toots. My Roll is always hard for you." My hand swings up, smacking him upside the head. "Damn," Keishin chuckles, leaving his head dipped down to brush kisses against the front of my throat. "Guess I'm not getting any action tonight."

     "You got action this morning. Twice. Bed and shower. Besides, you have a play or strategy or whatever to practice going over."

Keishin knocks his head against my chest once, twice, three times before lifting it to face me again. "You're right, as always." His sentence is punctuated with a soft kiss on my lips. A sigh follows our kiss, my husband rolling off of me and letting me breathe freely again.

I situate myself, sitting up against the headboard again, as he leans over the bed to snatch his bag from the ground. Keishin straightens himself once he has his stuff, sitting crisscrossed in front of me. I watch curiously as he digs through his bag, pulling out a whiteboard and such. I know coaches do the whole whiteboard team meeting thing in movies but for some reason, I never thought it was something people did.

"The magnets are numbered with the boys' jerseys," he starts explaining, twenty or so magnets littering the bedspread alongside a pile of dry-erase markers. Keishin's forehead wrinkles as he focuses intensely on the board, doodling whatever it is he's drawing. "It's a practice match against Date Tech. Last year they caused us some trouble but our Ace - that's the top spiker by the way," he cuts himself off, looking up at me as he explains the terminology. "Did pretty good at getting through their defense, but Asuma graduated."

"Don't you have a new Ace though?"

"Ya, Tanaka. He's a good spiker and a good Ace too, but he can get a little hot-headed. Doesn't always think before he acts, especially when he's worked up. Ennoshita does pretty good at keeping him in line, most of the time anyway."

     "Well, that's good at least."

     Keishin hums in agreement, laying the whiteboard down between us. An outline of a volleyball court decorates the board in thin and thick lines. His eyes jump around the bed, glancing through the magnets before he lays them down. "The black ones are my boys, they're the ones numbered, and the white ones are the opposing team, okay?"

     "Okay."

"The good thing about Date Tech is two of their blockers from last year are still on the team so I have an idea of what we're working with. The bad thing is two of their blockers from last year are still on the team so they also have an idea of what to do," Keishin rambles, placing the magnets onto the board and moving them around how he wants them.

"Sounds like a rock and a hard place."

"Ya," he chuckles, the sound coming out stressed instead of happy. "I'm not that worried about our offense though. Hinata - the one you call an excited yorkie - has gotten better at adapting his spikes so that'll have to be a more in-the-moment plan."

     "That's good, Baby," I murmur, watching as he nervously clicks the pieces around the board, not a hundred percent certain of any of his placements.

     Keishin falls quiet for a few moments, messing with the magnets until he's soothed his worries. The board is propped up, aimed at me so I can see it better. "Alright, so, our defense sucks. Not as bad as last year but still not the best."

     "Got it," I murmur, nodding in agreement even though I wouldn't know that without Keishin telling me.

      "A lot of it falls on Tsukishima, a lot on Nishanoya too, but mostly Tsukishima in the front row." He taps on the piece labeled eight.

     "Hinata," number seven is tapped on as he keeps explaining the situation to me. "Is the worst on defense. Mostly because he can't receive for the life of him, but he just doesn't have the experience, so, per usual, when he gets to the back row, after he serves," Keishin rotates the pieces in a circle until number seven is in the middle of the back row. "I'll swap Hinata and Nishanoya out." Number seven is pushed out of the box and replaced by an orange magnet labeled four.

     "That makes sense," I tell him, nodding in agreement again. The situation does make sense, but number four being orange confused me a bit. Oh well, I guess. The colors of the magnets don't matter.

"For the first match at least, probably more, Tsukishima will be calling the blocking plays." Again, number eight is tapped on. "He has an eye for that sort of stuff and I'm hoping he'll help the others pick up on what he sees, you know? Give them an idea of what to look out for so they know how to react. Does that sound stupid?"

"It doesn't sound stupid, Baby."

"Okay," he whispers, mostly speaking to himself. "Anyway, so that's pretty much the plan. Having Tsukishima control the blocking until we get a feel and or until the other boys can figure it out for themselves. It's going to be a lot on him," Keishin mutters, laying the board back down between us.

     His eyebrows are pressed together, his forehead wrinkled from the act. All Keishin is made out of is nicotine, spite, and stress. Usually, I'm worried about his stress, but at the moment I find it more cute than worrisome. I adore how much he loves his players and how set he always is on giving them the best chance to win and improve.

     "I don't want to put too much pressure on the kid. He just picks up on these things the quickest so, it's the best to have everything set how he needs to test his theories and whatever, right?"

     "Right. Besides, worst case it doesn't work out and you fall back on what you know."

     "Ya, I guess so. I don't want to do that though. It'll leave us scrambling, you know?... I don't know. I don't want to stress Tsukishima out or put him under pressure but I just... I don't know." Keishin sighs, his hands dragging down his face. "I don't know what to do, Toots."

     "Oh, baby," I coo, leaning across the bed to wrap my arms around him. A hand settles over his shoulders, the other knotting into his hair, running through the locks he let loose on his drive home. "What have I told you about thinking things over?"

     "Once isn't enough, ten times is too many. Find my happy medium," he mutters, turning his head to brush kisses against my wrist.

"And how many times have you thought this issue over?"

"Ten... twenty... forty times, maybe. I don't want the first practice match of the season to be a bust, you know? That's terrible momentum to run on."

"I know, Baby, but the more you mull it over, the more holes you poke in your thoughts. Just talk to Tsukishima, okay? See how the kid feels about it. If he feels like he can handle it, go with your plan. If not, wing it. After all, my crows have always been good at adapting quickly."

Keishin arches forward, melting our bodies together again. His arms find their place around my waist, keeping me flesh against him. "My sweet Tootsie Roll," he murmurs, his head finding its place on my shoulder, nose pressed against my neck as close as possible. Same routine and position since the start of our relationship. "Always the perfect mix of sweet and tart when I need it. Always my home." He inhales the scent of my perfume and shampoo again, taking his time like always to savor the smell.

     I give him a little while, letting him drown himself in me, letting him calm his nervous down from his emotional escalation, letting him restart and re-stab his thoughts. "Alright," I finally murmur, moving in his arms. "Enough welling," I tell Keishin, pushing him off of me before pushing him onto his back.

He softly smiles at me, his hands rubbing my arms as I situate myself on top of him. "I can't help it, Toots. You know I worry about everything," Keishin whispers, adjusting himself to lay more comfortably on the mattress.

I hum a melody as I lean downward, laying my chest against his as I nuzzle my nose against his neck. "Maybe a little distraction will help?" I whisper, brushing light kisses against his skin.

"What kind of distraction are you thinking about?" Keishin mutters, his hands finding their way to cup my ass.

"I'm not too sure yet," I answer, making my way down his neck. I slowly trail further, curving over his shoulder and down his chest. His shirt is stained with my path, my lipstick standing out on the white t-shirt. "Maybe," I start, nuzzling the hem of his shirt with my nose as my hands busy themselves undoing his pants. "You just need some under-the-desk support."

"Damn, Toots. You know I'll never turn down an offer like that," Keishin grumbles, his hands sliding up to rest higher the more I inch down. My tongue slides over his skin, the tip teasingly poking under the band of his boxers. A groan ouches in the room from Keishin, his hands sliding over my back and between my shoulder blades before styling in my hair. “Toots. The teasing, Babe.”

“What about it?” I whisper, the peach fuzz of his happy trail tickling my lips. “I thought this is what you wanted. After all, you came in asking to use your dick,” I tease, my fingertips sliding against the plaid material of his boxers before settling on the imprint of his dick. I take hold of him, stroking his trapped erection as my tongue continues to trail back and forth under the elastic band.

Keishin’s fingers knot in my hair, holding it back from my face. His chest is raspy with his heavy breathing, growls, and grumbles mixed with the sound of his lungs. “Toots, come on. The teasing isn’t cool.” He yanks on my hair, forcing my head back and my eyes up. “Knock off the teasing. Either suck my dick or get on your knees so I can paint your tits.”

I roll my eyes at him, a smile hanging on my lips as I soak in the frustration on his face. “Fine, no more teasing.” His hold loosens on my hair but doesn’t let me go. Keishin’s deep brown eyes stay locked on me, watching as I inch his boxers down enough for his dick to escape.

My tongue wraps around his base, starting the collection of drool that’ll slide down and wet his balls. I tease the base for a tongue lashing or two before starting the slow slide up his length, mentally counting my way.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

“Baby, come on,” he hisses, his knuckles popping from gripping my hair so tight. My scalp stings from my roots being pulled on but I can’t seem to care much. I adore teasing Keishin to the point of desperation.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

My tongue slides over the tip of his dick, the taste of his pre-cum coating my taste buds. My hand wraps around him, slowly stroking the base as I twirl around and tease the head. Keishin is already squirming, his hips jerking and penis twitching. “Damn it, Toots. Knock off the teasing. Baby, you’re killing me,” he grumbles on repeat, his teeth clenched as he hisses at me.

“You’ll be okay,” I murmur, finally allowing part of him to slide between my lips.

Keishin’s tip settled in my mouth, a loud “Fuck” spilling out of him. I can’t help the prideful smile trying to curl the corners of my mouth. I puff my cheeks out, my tongue trailing the veins of his cock as I suck on him. “Jesus, Baby, come on,” he huffs, flexing his fingers before returning his death grip to my hair.

It’s driving him crazy. The teasing. The slow pace. The minimal attention. The restraint not to shove my head down and force his dick further in. Maybe I should be nice and give him a bit of what he wants.

I keep my movements slow as I slide down, his cock inching further and further. His tip taps the back of my throat, brewing a couch in my lungs. I don’t let it stop me though, continuing to slide down as my throat flexes to try and resolve the need to cough. “Fuck!” Keishin yelps, shoving my head down.

My lungs and throat scream with the need to cough up the block, a jumble of gagging and spit leaking from the corners of my lips. Keishin’s cum spilling over and dripping down my throat doesn’t help the situation. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Toots. I didn’t mean to,” he rambles, dropping his hold away from my head to toy with the ends of my hair.

I jerk my head up, back to sucking on the tip of his dick to encourage his cum to keep spilling down my throat. Apologizes ring from Keishin on repeat, his focus on trying to gently push me off himself and check on me instead of his dick twitching in my mouth.

When he finally dries up with nothing left to tant my tongue in salt, I pull off of him. My lungs scream with the feel of easy and fresh air coating them. “I’m sorry, Toots,” Keishin repeats, his hand cupping my face while his thumb brushing against my cheek. “I know you don’t like when I push your head. It won’t happen again.”

“It’s alright,” I whisper, trying to steady my breathing. My hand jumps to my neck, massaging it as I lean into his touch.

“No it’s not, Toots,” he softly says, tugging me to sit in his lap again. His hand joins mine against my neck, helping to rub away the soreness of it. “You’ve told me before you don’t like me pushing your head and I did it anyway. You’re my home, Baby. That’s not how a man takes care of his home.”

[kaeyachi]

Random Kaeya HCs I have:

- he can knit and crochet. The grannies taught him that. His favorite work so far was a tiny bucket hat for Klee that she sometimes put on top of Dodoco

- he also gossips with the grannies. Kaeya lives for it. The people around his age don't know where he get his information on them.

- he is a very good artist. He usually draws for Klee's survival guide and making treasure maps

- speaking of treasure maps, I bet he saw random treasure chests as a child while going around with his biological father. His childhood imagination treated it like pirate treasure

- he actually can't wink, but no one could tell because he has always worn an eyepatch (he told Diluc when they were younger. Diluc wonders why Kaeya told him, and Kaeya explains that no one would believe him. Diluc despairs)

- he's a picky eater. The food has to taste right or else he wouldn't like it

- you can tell if he likes to eat something based on how slow he eats it

- that kinda led him to not finish his food on multiple occasions when on a rush at work unfortunately

- yes Diluc has scolded him about that before, especially back when Diluc was cavalry captain (now, Diluc would sometimes place a plate of mushroom skewers when Kaeya is looking a bit too fatigued at the bar)

- He can run well with heels on (he figured that if he had to do an infiltration it would be smart to be able to run no matter what disguise he uses) and has once made men under his command run laps with them on, to the amusement of many, especially the female knights who were being bullied at the time

- like Jean, he has his own fair share of children who would like to be like him one day. He doesn't like talking nor thinking about it. He definitely doesn't want them to end up like him

- thanks to all the time in his youth playing with a slingshot, he actually ended up being great with a bow and arrow as well

- he chose to continue using a sword because to him, it is more thrilling to get close to his opponent

- in his teens, he actually had a fleeting idea of studying at the akademiya just to get to Sumeru, but eventually decided against it because he now wanted to stay with the Ragnvindrs

- he thought about it again when Diluc left, but he wanted to get Eroch and the other corrupt officials out of their positions more

I'm ending it here for now. I'll make more next time!

[utilitycaster]

This campaign does have wizards aplenty, from our allies and guests (let's hope someone can fix Ryn; wonder how Vasselheim is treating Prism) to the antagonistic figure of the millennium himself, Ludinus Da'leth. And Halas is, of course, still in his gem. I have briefly touched on them, in fact, when they converged upon Tishtan to fuck around and find out. But this isn't about them.

Whose world is at stake here? Who is being shaken at their very foundation? Who is out here kicking ass, taking names, making pacts, and killing birds? And so it's my dubious and self-inflicted honor to present:

The Cleric and Paladin Breakdown Tracker

Episode 69

(nice)

The rules, for those not familiar with the shifting set of guidelines I frequently employed: this is a non-exhaustive list (that means that if I don't have anything funny to say about an NPC we haven't seen in 20 episodes do not ask me where they are. they haven't been seen in 20 episodes). Spinoffs into sorcerer, druid, or other territory may occur as the plot demands, but for the time being we're sticking with the god squad.

Weva Vudol: Matt described her genesis as a person who abides by the Andrew W. K. creed; she does what she likes and she likes what she does. While adherents of the Raven Queen are probably having a rough time of it, no resurrection does mean Speak with Dead is probably having a real moment right now, and honestly she's weird enough to possibly dig the vibes of Jrusar at the moment. 4/10.

Deanna Leimert: It's been a few days but I suspect things are still highly tense between her and Sunny D, and going to God City Central probably doesn't give her much time to relax and regroup. Also I have to imagine Vasselheim is going to be MAD WEIRD about an aeormaton and a wizard. 7/10. Holding it together but I bet any stitches of her knitting right now are impossibly tight (if that's how knitting works idk I'm a crocheter myself)

FRIDA: Speaking of, here's the aeormaton themself! They were feeling bad upon separating from FCG. They needn't have worried (see below) but they don't know that, and yeah I think the vibes in Vasselheim for them are going to be iffy already and the fact that the city is (highly understandably given their history) going into lockdown, probably a bit on edge! Hopefully Bells Hells remembers to ask Keyleth to give them a message or something. 7/10. (She's not on here but I like to think that Prism is THRIVING despite having frowned-upon magic. I think she's having a GREAT time, and I hope she joins the Slayer's Take, I think it would be good for her.)

Unnamed Duskmaven Cleric in Jrusar: I do not know why the Duskmaven clerics dress like Sofina Honoramongthievesvillain, but they do. Anyway rather like Weva Vudol, while things are bad I think that the Raven Queen's clerics tend to have a sort of implacable calm about them (see also Lieve'tel, who is not on this list). 4/10.

Teven Klask: Too hot to be bothered. A little confused by the edicts of Asmodeus re: the truce though. Just like a Betrayer to not explain the situation. 3/10.

Yu Suffiad: I love when people think Yu was some kind of genius of strategy because not only did they get figured out by a tiny unhinged werewolf gnome man, they, far more crucially, bargained away the artifact needed to power the Malleus Key until after the solstice. Literally their entire mission was "hey we need this object before the solstice, to be used in a machine on the solstice, for the solstice" and they were like yeah I'll get it in a month, sounds fair, and then the people they let get away destroyed the machine that was supposed to use it. Anyway with that in mind I'm assuming their dumb ass got shoved into a mirror by Zathuda, whom I would like to see again, because the return of the Silt Verses has reminded me that menace in a Scottish accent is always a fun time. 9/10.

FCG: You know, bit of a rollercoaster for them! He's had some good Commune answers and some less so Divination answers; he can't get drunk; the Staff of Dark Odyssey did NOT play nice; Dancer's still understandably afraid of him; Shithead has finally been lay to rest. I think it's going to be straight down the middle for a while, honestly; such is the nature of adventuring. 5/10.

Pike Trickfoot: Zero idea of her mood right now actually, like I assume Sarenrae has been freaking out but that's the extent of it, so she's here more because either she is blissfully unaware that Delilah was below detectable levels when Laudna came back, in which case like 4/10, or she has been harboring a dark secret in which case more like 8/10.

Jester Lavorre: SENDING IS DOWN THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN 10/10

Caduceus Clay: I have to imagine the Wildmother has made her concerns clear. Also, Molaesmyr was, when last we left it, sort of on fire, which can't be like, great for him. Time to see if 7 years have improved upon his coping mechanisms. 7/10.

Fjord: Improbably, a wildcard. Given that Jester's probably freaking out, pushed into a position of stability and calm; given that the gods are definitely freaking out, the Empire is wilding out, and also that I would be shocked if Caleb and Beau didn't let the others in the Nein know that if they don't hear from them for a while, pushed in a position of running around waving his hands like Kermit. 6/10 but specifically taken as an average of 3/10 and 9/10.

Vax'ildan: technically I don't know if he still counts like a paladin but doing so for reasons of comedy. Anyway, not sure what you can give a bowling ball full of screams but an 11/10.

[nolita-fairytale]

first i would like to say congrats and thank you for doing this celebration!! ✨✨✨ i was thinking about a blurb 🥐 for Carmy that has been on my mind forever! i keep going back to this ideia of something like that scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary in which she’s trying to make dinner for her friends and she’s doing this soup and instead of using like a normal string she uses a blue one and the soup turns blue and Colin Firth’s character ends up helping her out idk I feel like Carmy would be delighted to see something like that! 💛

slowly, slowly making my way through the rest of my follower requests. anyone else getting their ass kicked at work these days? i'm fine but work has just been exceptionally worky and i think it should stop. lmao anyways... i love this idea that @pleasecallmeunhinged brought to me and am so happy that i've gotten to sit down and work on it this evening.

It's just butter, flour, and milk. How hard can it be?

At least that's what you think to yourself as you volunteer to make the bechamel sauce for the lasagna. You've watched Carmy work hard, all day long, rolling sheets of pasta out while the bolognese stews low and slow in the oven.

It's not till he has to run a quick errand for Richie that he realizes that this slow Sunday dinner might get pushed back a few hours.

"I can do it, Bear," you offer, considering that, since dating Carmy, your skills in the kitchen have massively improved.

Striving your best to always be a student, you've picked up a few things in your relationship with Carmy, even if it doesn't come as naturally to you as you hoped it would.

It starts simply:

Melt the butter. Whisk in flour. Stir in milk. Add herbs to steep in the bechamel sauce for flavor.

But for the life of you, you can't find the kitchen twine (whatever the hell that is), settling for a long piece of royal blue yarn from the last time you thought you'd take up crocheting. Without a second thought, you toss the bundle of herbs into the milk, butter, and flour mixture, to let it infuse.

"Everything okay, babe?" Carmy asks you when he returns, immediately seeing the look on your face.

"Don't laugh, okay?" you request, only mildly embarrassed, but mostly humored by the whole situation. Carmy shoots you a quizzical look as you take his hand, gently leading him over to the stove where your bechamel-fail sits.

"Why would I-? Oh fuck, babe!" Carmy exclaims, as soon as he inside of the saucepan.

It's blue.

A deep, royal blue, a few shades lighter from the white of the bechamel sauce.

"Remember when I decided I was going to take up crocheting again? Well uh... You didn't have any kitchen twine so I... sort of used some yarn that I found and...." you explain, carefully, searching Carmy's face for any kind of reaction to your kitchen mishap.

Instead he just stares at it, and you can't tell whether he's horrified or in shock, that by the time he opens his mouth, you don't know what to expect.

"Carm?" you ask him, the long silence beginning to worry you.

And instead of answering, all he can do is laugh.

It's the kind of laugh that's full bodied and fully bellied, taking him over, and lighting him up from end to end. It's contagious -- so contagious that you begin to join in, practically gasping for air because of how hard you and Carmy laugh together at the blue bechamel.

You can see it in the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, at how his cheeks turn red, with the way he looks at you like you're the most precious thing in the world.

"Yo this is..." he starts, beginning to come down from his fit of laughter.

"A mess?" you suggest, exchanging a look with your boyfriend.

"Fuck yeah," he agrees enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear as he adds:

"But you're my mess. C'mon! Let's get this pot cleaned up and I'll show you how to make it for real."

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 18

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Masterlist

"What are you doing up and answering the door, Maxwell? Have you gone mad?"

"Ben?" June said, frozen in place while looking at the man in front of her.

"You should be resting, you had surgery a few days ago. C'mon" he said, lifting her in the air and carrying her to the sofa.

"Ben!" she laughed. "I can walk, you know?"

"I know you can, but you shouldn't."

"The doctor said I could move around the house. He actually encouraged it."

"Well, Dr. Chilwell doesn't agree with that. Is that comfortable?" he asked after leaving her on the sofa and putting some cushions behind her back.

"It's ok."

"Now?" he said, sitting down next to her and putting her legs on his lap, the injured one on top of another cushion.

"Now it's perfect" she smiled. "Thank you, Ben."

"You're welcome" he smiled back. "How is it going?" he asked, his fingers caressing her thigh but never getting close to the bandage. 

"I'm managing to not bore myself to death and it isn't hurting too much, so we can say that so far so good."

"Good, that's good. Is that how you are getting yourself entertained?" he said, nodding towards the table in front of them.

"Yep" June smiled. "I used to knit and crochet when I was a kid, my grandma taught me. The other day when she came to visit me she brought me some yarn and said that I could give it another go, so now I'm planning on making the girls some beanies for the winter."

"Can I get one too?" Ben asked with a cheeky smile.

"Seeing you wearing a beanie I myself made would be a dream come true to be honest, because no one wears them like you do. You look so freaking good." 

"I think this is the first time someone has complimented me by saying I look good wearing a beanie" he laughed.

"It is what it is" June shrugged. "Thank you for coming, by the way. And for the flowers."

"Did you like them?" 

"I loved them."

"Is that why you posed with them?" he asked.

"It was one of the reasons."

"May I ask what were the others?"

"Well, I… I wanted to you to see them to show you that I still think about you. That I regret everything that happened that day between us and after."

"You mean when you slept with Mason."

"Yes. I'm sorry, Ben" June whispered, looking down. "I'm surprised you are here, to be honest. I thought you would be mad at me and act as if I didn't exist like he is doing."

"Oh, I was mad. When he told me what had happened I got so angry… We both were angry. I don't know how we didn't end up hitting each other if I'm honest."

"That bad it was?" she asked.

"Yep. But then we cooled down, talked about everything properly, and things have kind of gone back to normal between us."

"Kind of?"

"He doesn't understand why I've forgiven you" Ben shrugged.

"You… you have?"

"I have, yes. I spoke with Lauren and she explained everything to me. About your ex, about how he broke your heart, and about how all that has affected you. That made me understand you a bit better, and even though I still am disappointed about what you did with Mase… I don't know. I can't be mad at you anymore."

"That kind of is what happened to me when you explained why you bullied me. Once I knew the reasons behind it, hating you was more difficult" June said with a shy smile.

"We can't change the past, but we can work on not making the same mistakes again."

"Yeah" she whispered. 

"Anyway, I brought you a present" Ben said, giving her the bag he had been carrying.

"You didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to. Open it" he smiled.

"Ok" June said, sitting up. Why were her hands shaking so much? Why was she so nervous? "Chilwell!"

"Do you like it?"

"A Kinder egg the size of my head? Of course I like it!" she laughed. 

"Just try not to eat it all in one go, ok? I want you at the World Cup."

"Do you think I'll make it?"

"I already said it on the note that I sent you, June. If there is someone who can make it, that's you" he said, giving her thigh a little squeeze. 

"Thank you, Ben. For everything. The flowers, the note, the egg, coming here today… And for forgiving me after I fucked up. Big time."

"Of course" he smiled. 

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Won't you hurt yourself?" 

"Maybe… I guess you'll have to come here and hug me" June shrugged, biting her lip to avoid smiling.

"Ok" Ben chuckled, laying down next to her on the sofa and hugging her from behind. "Are you comfortable like this?" he asked, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him.

"Very" June replied, interlacing her fingers with his. "Just don't let me fall, ok?"

"Never. I've got you, Maxwell." Now and always, Ben said to himself.

[withbroombefore]

Today, I learned that two different friends who knit and/or crochet have been doing so directly from the unwound skein of yarn, because they had never been shown how to wind it up. (If this describes you as well, there are many instructions on different methods; this one is pretty much what I did before I got the swift and ball winder.)