#i don't know this is rambly but i've been musing on this for a while

[elexuscal]

the longer i stay in fandom, the longer i think a huge amount of bad takes and discourse come from an... abundance of identifying with a character

to be clear, i don't think it's bad to identify with a character. far from it! i think that's part of what makes fiction so powerful.

and it's only logical people often attach to a blorbo because they're just like me, for real. a person will see some element of themselves-- their race, their gender, their sexuality, their hobbies, their family life, their specific flavour of neurodivergence-- and something just resonates. it gives them a way to explore and name this important part of themselves, a part they maybe didn't even know existed before it.

and everything is well and good until some split between them and the character shows up

because of course, no character, except an explicit self-insert written by yourself, will ever be a perfect 1:1 for your own experiences. so sooner or later-- maybe in canon, maybe in a fanwork-- your blorbo diverges from your lived experience in a huge way.

I think this is why shipping culture in particular gets so toxic. While it is by no means the only way to indulge with shipping, a significant portion is 'if i was in that character's shoes, i would choose X'. the fight becomes for your own self-identity.

but this gets expanded in other ways. a character who is revealed to be black when the majority of the fandom had just assumed they were white. or revealed to be queer, or maybe the 'wrong' flavour of queer. or fuck, even some more innocuous part of their backstory, one that's nonetheless so meaningful for SOMEONE, but now it feels like the story is saying, fuck you, we're doing something else

i don't know. i just feel acknowledging this perceived-attack-on-identity helps me understand why people react it what seems to be such outsized way to canon and fanworks alike.

at the same time, i think it's a really important thing to check in yourself.

it's nice, to see a character who you identify with. who resonates with for being like you. but it's also nice to acknowledge and appreciate the way characters are not like you at All. how great it is to get insight into this totally different lived experience. and to muse on how wonderful that recognition might be for someone who does have that background.

[hide-your-bugs-away]

*Pretends that Eric is singing directly to Alan within some of his "Eric Burdon and the Animals" songs* Boy, I sure do love being delusional!

[tokyotowerboy]

As an autistic child who didn't fit in anywhere, I always looked at the people I knew with strong ties to their heritage with big ol sparkly eyes. I would constantly pester my family about our heritage. Of course, Native American would be included in the list. Potawatomi, I'd be told, "she was the daughter of the chief," someone claimed at some point... Then I grew up, learned history, studied anthropology, and all together came to realize that any native heritage I had (if I had any to begin with) was nothing more than a "fun fact" to my family. It didn't mean anything to anyone.

I was still curious, though, and through working on a family tree for a few years, I realized I did have "native heritage," an x-times great grandma who was Shawnee. It made me wonder a lot of things. Did she pass on any of her culture to her children, or, for any of the numerous reasons that would have prevented/pressured her to not, didn't? And if she did teach her children, when did it stop being passed down? At what point did she stop being our grandmother and start being a "fun fact"?

[sethsclearwater]

HIIIII we missed you a lot around here. Can you please write super clingy Paul?

i missed all of you!!!!

...

"don't move," paul mumbled into the pillow, half asleep but he still managed to keep a pretty tight grip around you as he pulled you into his side.

the angle itself was quite awkward with paul laying on his stomach, one arm tossed haphazardly over your figure as you attempted to get out of bed. although you could generally find paul spooning you or engaging in a more traditional form of cuddling, after 8 hours of sleep, paul almost always made his way back to his stomach as he slept. though, he always managed to keep some body part of his on you. you weren't entirely sure if it was some sort of security thing for him or just a habit he'd developed since dating you but it currently didn't make much of a difference as he seemed pretty intent on keeping you in bed with him.

"paul," you giggled his name, rolling onto your other side so you could face him. paul, still half asleep with his face buried in the pillow, seized the opportunity and pulled you even closer to his side. you laughed again as he got one hand firmly wedged around your side, resting on your ribcage, "it's been like 10 hours since we've gotten up, i gotta eat," you mused, running one hand up his arm and neck to thread your fingers through his inky hair.

paul grumbled something incoherent into the pillow, and before you had a second to ask what he was talking about, he was lifting his head to look over at you, "food?" he repeated back to you and you let out another giggle, laughing as you scratched at his scalp.

"preferably lots of it. i'm starving," you joked, squealing when he tightened his grip on your side to roll you over to the other side of him, "paul!" you laughed, moving to get up again but he just squeezed you again, not-so-subtly letting you know he definitely didn't want you going anywhere anytime soon.

"i've got some in the nightstand," his voice was still raspy as he woke himself up, one hand still firmly around you while the other one reached around blindly at your nightstand for a moment before he latched onto whatever food stash he apparently kept in your bedroom without telling you.

"a granola bar?" you asked when he handed it to you, "how long has that been in there for? and why are you keeping food in here? the kitchen is like-" you started but your ramblings were cut short as paul rolled onto his side to wrap both arms around you, pulling you tightly into his chest.

"don't worry about it princess," he mumbled against your hair, "don't gotta get up now, yea?" he added after a moment, smiling to himself when he heard your resigned sigh followed by the sound of the granola bar unwrapping.

[monbons]

Stitchy Sunday Musings

Thanks for the tag @thewholelemon. I also don't really have an update, but I did have a bit of a reflection I wanted to share today that I hope will speak to some of you---and selfishly---also keep me motivated on the days that are hard. So, with that, story time...

Exactly a year ago, I started my doll-stitching journey and the very first set of dolls I ever gifted were mermaids. I was inspired by @iamamythologicalcreature's gorgeous mer-May art.

This first set was entirely hand stitched because I did not have a sewing machine, nor did I think making dolls would become something I actively pursued in any real way. It was just something I did for fun---a way to channel my creative energy when the words wouldn't come while also paying tribute to some of my favorite fics and their authors.

Fast-forward to my newest dolls and the growth is almost unbelievable. You can see aspects of my final style in my very first dolls, but everything about this last set has evolved. This particular set represents just over 24 hours of work (a significant chunk of them on that tail that boasts 600+ hand-sewn sequins). I also experimented with new hair textures and colors, and apparently, I embroider eyebrows now. (As if making the eyes symmetrical wasn't hard enough!)

It may sound like I am boasting. I swear I am not. Instead, I wanted to post this because this is just one year of committing to a thing and working really fucking hard at it. It is also the kind of visible "success" that is so hard to get elsewhere.

When I first started contributing to fandom, it was as a writer. If your primary contribution to fandom is writing, it can be really hard to do a side-by-side comparison like this. As a result, we often rely on measures of growth or success that can be compared: kudos, reblogs, and comments obviously, but also word counts, fics published per year, etc. Honestly? None of those are reliable (and dare I say worthy?) measures of how beautiful a piece of work is, let alone a journey of growth and joy. It isn't to say they don't have their place, but "the numbers" aren't everything...and they can often feel disheartening.

Anyway, I've been feeling really down on myself recently for a whole host of reasons, but a huge contributor is that I've been having so much trouble with writing. For weeks, "the numbers" have haunted me. Not just the public numbers (I've wanted to scream into a pillow about kudos and likes more than once this year), but the private ones (I'm "behind" on words from this same point last year).

And then I took this humble doll offering to a book signing this past week and the author cried tears of joy, which made me cry. Several people in the signing line gasped when they held up my little merman and his love. Several others came up and talked to me about my art and wanted to know more. For the first time in months, I felt really proud of something I had made, and I guess this post is about holding on to that feeling. When I made these dolls, I wasn't trying to meet some external metric or creating for audience consumption. I wasn't even sure I would post my dolls anywhere since this isn't SnowBaz. I was simply making for the joy of it, and that night, which cannot be quantified in likes or comments or numbers of any kind, filled me up in a way I desperately needed.

Anyway, if you are still with me after this long ramble, thank you. Like I said, it was mostly for me. I wanted to remember that the beauty of my work actually can't be measured, no matter how much I try to do so. That I may not always be lucky enough to see the impact on others like I did with these dolls, but that doesn't make the effort any less valuable. And most of all, that none of that is the point. I wanted to make these dolls, I enjoyed making these dolls, and I am getting better at it because making dolls makes me happy. I needed to remember that. And if that was the case for me, I figured someone else might need to remember it too.

It feels weird to tag people in this, but hellos and high-fives from the philosophical doll factory anyway. May your creative endeavors bring you joy today and every day.

@alexalexinii, @argumentativeantitheticalg, @aristocratic-otter, @arthurkko, @artsyunderstudy, @bachusekart, @best--dress, @blackberrysummerblog, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @bookish-bogwitch, @confused-bi-queer, @cutestkilla, @drowninginships, @emeryhall, @facewithoutheart, @harrie-leithillustration, @hushed-chorus, @iamamythologicalcreature, @ic3que3n, @ileadacharmedlife, @katatsumuli, @larkral, @letraspal, @mooncello, @noblecorgi, @orange-peony, @prettygoododds, @raenestee, @rbkzz, @roomwithanopenfire, @run-for-chamo-miles, @rimeswithpurple, @shrekgogurt, @skeedelvee, @stitchyqueer, @supercutedinosaurs, @talentpiper11, @the-beard-of-edward-teach, @twinkle-twinkle-up-above, @theimpossibledemon, @thewholelemon, @wellbelesbian, @whatevertheweather, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @jyae23, @j-trow-95

[missmarveledsblog]

It's only pretend right ? ( Bucky barnes x reader) part three

summary : kitty ( y/n) brings bucky to one of the spots in her life she can just breathe and take it all it , while the two enjoy the time alone soon realize that they been gone far too long get back only for bucky to take a tumble and learn more and more about her , he even get asked to bring her grandmother to church and a surprise shows up that makes her happy to be home

warnings : this is actually unlike me to have a tooth rotting fluff piece but i ain't mad at it , grammatical and spelling errors ( whats new)

previous part

Maybe it was the scenery , maybe it was the company  or even it was the both that had her instantly more calm more settled , the fresh green grass  , trees and  fields as she passed by was something she did miss even though the compound was surrounded by some trees and stuff it wasn’t like this . it wasn’t the great outdoor of home she always looked forward to .  The two stopped near the meadow just an hour from her house. She felt calmer being away from the judging gazes and comments, finally being able to breathe fully and it was like bucky could see the shift himself .

 “ You know they have no idea about who you are,” he spoke up.

 “I used to think they did , they used to make me doubt myself so much that when i was on my own I thought I was a disappointment so when i was left in big city i was afraid to come home, until I met fury  , he showed me I was worth something then I came on to the team and even more, I mean my dad's side they're awesome they let me know i'm loved , they tell me all time that their  proud of me” she smiled brightly. 

“ I understand you more” he nodded “ huh ? “ she felt herself suddenly doubt kicking in.

 “ Why you make everyone's day better, let them know their worth even when they don't themselves “ he smiled softly watching the horse move to the little river.

“ I make sure they never feel the way I once did,  sorry also I didn't know dickface was here” she grumbled . 

“ gotta be a specific doll” he chuckled .

 “ Good one but I was talking about my ex,” she laughed.

 “ He's the one who hurt you badly huh?” He knew of him , Knew it was bad but never pushed her to tell him .

 “ he left me in new york two days after arriving found him with another girl when I went go get my stuff out of hotel room and he didn't care like they waited for me to leave” she scoffed.

“Well  he never deserved you , he  screams of  what is it Parker says , small dick energy “ he mused as her laughter filled the meadow. The way the light hit her honestly looked like an angel,as he knew one week was gonna be hard , two was going to definitely kill him . 

 “You know I'm glad fury found me “ she sighed  flopping on to the ground staring up at the clouds above. 

“ As am I,  you know you still never told me that story either” he flopped down beside her .

 “ you make it  through these days without killing my family or ex and well then I'll tell you both stories “ she giggled .

 “ you got yourself a deal doll “ he held his hand out as she took it, sealing their deal 

 “ so Is this your spot , you know  that one spot that everyone has to feel free , The one that is just for them ” he asked, eyes watching her reaction. 

“ It's one of them only Jessie knows my real spot, the one I went to  as a kid when they would visit or when I had a tough time,  he’s the oldest and in the army  but he got leave so be here tomorrow ” she smiled softly.

“  Are you two  close?” he asked . 

“ He was the first best friend I've ever had and the first person I rang when I got both jobs then my dad” she smiled. 

“ I mean I love izzy and jack to death and we’re close too, we bond over different things , she is closer to  Jack ,twin thing “ she explained . He could listen to her rambles even for hour , days even and not get tired of sound of her voice .

“ I get what you mean doll” he held her hand and two just looked up at sky enjoying the comfortable silence. She even had a nap before the buzzing of her phone startled her seeing the sun setting .

 “ shit mama texting to say it almost time for dinner” she yawn as he stood holding his hand out for her to take pulling her up . “ just us and grandma “ she added .

“ the evil one?”.

“ The devil lady , she ain't so bad I mean she's quiet and grumpy and judges everything most of the time and ignores everyone. My dad convince she sold her soul to the devil to live forever hence the nickname , she’s had a few close calls ” she chuckled easily mounting her horse as bucky got up on the moon easier.

“ I would say race you but this one is too far gone” he chuckled as she walked a head and moon followed.  

“ I'll see if I can keep you guys together” she cooed to the horses . 

The sun completely set as the two pulled back up on the ranch. All the cars were gone meaning they were gone too . 

“ I can't believe this,” her dad stared as they approached.

 “ What are you about, old man?” she laughed.

 “ the rebel stallion walking like a show pony , you know he bucked Jack off” he said coming to the two .

“ he's misunderstood , hard at trusting but once he does , big softy plus jack in the box is annoying  “ she giggled, flickering a glance towards the man beside her.

 “ We think he's after star too “ bucky patted the stallion not realizing he was going to sneeze once horse head went down bucky tumble after hitting the ground with a thump.

“ shit bucky you ok “ she hopped down so quickly honestly her father never seen her move so fast  .

 “ is it dark enough that neither of you saw that” he groaned, eyes not  wanting to open. 

 “ it not even dark enough to hide the red of your cheeks son” her dad's hand slipped into Bucky's, pulling him off the ground.  

 These two stay together  from now on , you get in and rest that was quite a fall I'll check you over once I get these settled “ she called back .

“ come on son we get you in “ her dad led the super soldier in suppressing his laughter.

“ Are you ever gonna tell her how you feel?” he asked. “ I mean we're together “ he panicked.

“ I may be old but I ain't dumb  , plus the team clued me in “ he chuckled . 

“ steve?” He asked .

 “ he and Natasha , they rang three nights ago” , his words making Bucky stop. 

 I only found out last night.” His brows furrowed.

 “ she only found out that morning” he winked, heading into the house leaving the door open once the super soldier let the words sink in.  

“Come on before she kicks both our asses,she a cute little thing but shit never get wrong side of kitty ” he walked faster into the house as bucky followed . 

“ about time … wheres kitty “ her mother turned to see two men .

” Bucky here took tumble off the moon so she gone get them  set for night while I checked over lover boy here” he patted the man's vibranium arm . 

“ shit” bucky huffed. 

“ What's broken , we ain't got insurance for that '' her dad said  his first proper look at the metal arm he's only ever seen in pictures. 

"Nah the plates and calibration is out of whack ,makes it off” he explained lifting the glasses up and instantly smashing it. “ I can feel pressure with it “ he winced as they jumped at the sound of glasses shattering .

 “ hey who’s making a mess in here” she walked in seeing their worried expressions set on bucky . 

 What's wrong, do we need to go to the hospital?” she rushed in front of the man. Eyebrows furrowed as her face laced with worry checking him over. 

“ my arm just acting up” he smiled softly loving the doting attention she was giving him .

 “ Pop, can you get my tools please?” she asked softly .

 “ You need to take the arm off , I can clear the table” her mother rushed over .

 “ No, he doesn’t easily do it while on so he can feel it’s in the right balance” she shook her head . Bucky couldn’t help laughing when her father pushed in the heavy trolley neon purple in color.

 “ nice choice color doll” he winked making her chest flush.

“ Jessie and Jack got them for me” she rolled her eyes . 

“ She and my dad used to fix cars when she was growing up , little tiny thing picked quickly. I mean she was fixing engines to her daddy’s machines at 10” her mother chuckled.

“ Ok, you ready buckaroo?” she asked, opening the trolley. 

 as i’ll ever be” he saluted with his other hand.

Her parents watched as she was lost in her task. It was like watching her as a kid working with her grandfather again. While bucky was lost in her , just the presence of her alone.  “ ok …more or less” she asked as he flexed the metal appendages. 

“ nearly there a little more” .   He loved when she was this close, how he could see every detail of her face, little freckles that littered her cheeks, how he could enjoy the full beauty of the color of her eyes. When the tip of her tongue peaked out when she was fully concentrating on a task.

” ok how's that” she asked.

 “ Perfect thanks doll” he kissed her cheek . 

“ y-y-your welcome , food time” she turned so fast she felt dizzy but she was sure if it was his lips or smell of his cologne , the way she had to force her eyes to stay on task at hand or get lost in his beauty but boy did her knees feel weak. 

 “ kitty dear, could you get me a blanket” her grandmother asked . 

“ Yes grandma, which one ?” she asked softly. 

“ surprise me dear” she let a little smile on face. 

“ She needs to teach me to do that,” her father whispered to bucky. 

“ Mama is always sweet to the grandkids” her mother rolled her eyes.

 “Mr Barnes,  would you bring me to the church tomorrow? '' the elderly woman asked face showing nothing .

“ I can indeed ma’am” he nodded . 

“ Mama, he doesn’t know where it is, '' her mother protested.

 “ They got computers for that , thank you mr. barnes'' she nodded before bowing her head, not waiting any longer saying her own grace and tucking  into her food .  

“your immortal right” her dad Frank teased.  

“ Why, '' Bucky asked.

 “ Don’t mind him '' Beth's eyes rolled, swatting her husband as Y/N walked in with a flowery blanket. 

“ Perfect dear, thank you, '' her grandmother cooed. '' Bucky is taking me to church tomorrow” she added as the woman froze while sitting down. 

“ He doesn’t know where it is , we don't have a car here” she began. 

“ your fathers car and he’ll find the way” she dismissed easily.

 “ good luck, you know what buckaroo it was nice meeting you ” she gave him thumbs up dodging her mother swatting her . 

Once dinner was done and everyone was retired for the night, Bucky found her sitting on the porch looking up at the skies . 

“ i was wondering where you went to , nat is wanting to facetime” he held his phone up . 

“ ok park that ass” she patted the spot beside her. What they weren’t expecting was the team sitting in the living room, even Tony .

“ Hey you two, how did the first day go” nat asked . 

“ he survived the first day with the vultures” she joked.

 “ I went horse riding too,” Bucky beamed.

 “ fell off the horse too” she burst out laughing .

 “ last time i was one was the 40’s” he rolled his eyes but didn’t hide his loving glance at her laughing.

 “ Two weeks guys” she said as they all looked away from the camera. 

“ you haven’t had your vacation yet and neither has the cyborg so yes two weeks pretty girl” sam sassed. 

“ Hey little pyro you haven’t seen my black card have you” tony asked arching his brow.

 “ Remember that hug?” she asked . 

“Little shit , buy anything good even? ” he asked, chuckling.

 “ nah not yet might buy my horse a new saddle you know the luxury brand” she mused playfully.

 “ Her little accent is so cute , you can hear it more,” Wanda cooed.

 “ I dont have one , anyway funny find out you got my parents involved in the ploy” she asked softly. 

“ you both need a break ok so shut up and enjoy it , not much happening here anyways” nat rolled her eyes. 

“ I mean it is good to be home , just can’t wait til the rest of them leave, especially dick face” she huffed. 

“ What is your brother thinking?” Nat crossed her arms.

 “Honestly jack doesn’t think” a gruff voice called, making her head shoot right up.

“ JESSIE” She ran off the steps, almost knocking the man to the ground. 

“ her older brother is here i’ll ring you guys later” bucky hung up before standing up.

 “ Hey kitty, good to see you,” he smiled, holding her tighter to him . 

“You're supposed to be here tomorrow” she sniffled.

 “Hey they best be happy tears” he pulled her into a hug. 

“ very happy tears i missed you so much” she almost climbed into his arms .

 “ sergeant barnes” he saluted while still holding his sister close to him .

 “corporal” he saluted back .

 “ Are you being safe?” she asked, checking him over.

 “ I should be asking you that,” he arched his brow. 

“ I'm safe,” she smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes.

 “Sorry you had to deal with them today” he smiled sadly knowing his own family. 

“ s’okay i mean dad was there” she shrugged. 

“ They give her a hard time?” He looked to bucky.

 “  hey i’m right here i can handle it , how long's the leave for” she asked.

 “ It was a bit harsh,” Bucky smiled sadly.

 “ dickface saying anything? And I got two weeks, funny that ?  ” he asked. 

"No, I mean anytime he did Helen answered, even though she doesn’t like him and I didn't influence your leave ” she giggled. 

“ Jack just thinks her family should be there , her parents are gone so he’s all she has” Jessie rolled his eyes still not liking it hell he almost left his post to get her  in NewYork when he found out. 

“ Come on mama and papa haven’t been in bed long” she pulled the men into the house , she and bucky stood on the landing watching the reunion. She grabbed his arm when she saw her mother crying at the sight of her son making him move his arm lacing his fingers in hers . 

“I'm glad i didn’t miss this” she whispered seeing how happy her parents were.

 “ Me too,” he smiled, eyes locked on her , seeing how happy she was. 

part 4

taglist : @vicmc624

[zan-the-second]

Brainrot so bad I'm making a Taylor Swift playlist AND I'm making up song titles for the cover

Made in here

Ramblings about the songs and what I think they sound like below the cut :P

Most of the titles are straight from the movie and book, the others are my own personal naming convention for certain themes and scenes.

As for the tracklist it mostly follows the plot of the movie and book in Aldo's pov. Each song loosely based on a Bellini scene.

Sound-wise I thinks it's like if Midnights and TTPD had a baby with a sprinkle of folkmore. I just think Aldo's got that Midnights vibe in him.

NOW FOR THE SONGS(yes there are 13 of them ;))

Track 1-Secrets Of The State

Loosely inspired by State of Grace

Just Aldo's musings about his tenure as Secretary of State and also being one of if not the closest to the late Holy Father

Lowkey Lucky One and Nothing New coded

Sound-wise it's like if Lavender Haze and I Can Do It With A Broken Heart had a baby

chess metaphors(of course) with Aldo feeling like a pawn in his mentor's game

Lord, what would become of me when I've lost my novelty?

Track 2-Loved More Than Anyone

First of all, I need to preface that I'm INSANE about this line WHY DID THEY CUT IT

Heavily Maroon-inspired(which is funny bc it's also the track 2 of Midnights)

that's a real fucking legacy to leave vs that's a real fucking legacy, to leave HAUNTS ME AND IS SO ALDO WITH THE PREVIOUS POPE

Those two make me insane THOMAS WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LOVED HIM MORE THAN ANYONE

very my tears ricochet core with the mentor-mentee relationship

what am I supposed to do when there's no you?

Imagine you loved someone so much and believed in their ideas and now they're gone and you don't know where to put this love

no other notes other than imagine Maroon but about this gay cardinal

Track 3-No Sane Man

Lowkey his I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

him just going 'bro why do you all WANT this???'

His Anti-Hero really

Basically just his auditorium speech in the movie of being like these are the things I stand for and I will not change them take it or leave it

But with an undercurrent of WHY IS IT NOT ENOUGH WHY CAN'T I BE ENOUGH

I stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

I can go anywhere I want just not home

Track 4-Know In My Heart

This is his marjorie

Him asking for advice from either God or the Previous Pope

Production style similar to The Archer

Just the mounting dread and anxiety

In a way also very Dear Reader

never take advice from someone whose falling apart

my fourth drink in my hand, these desperate prayers of a cursed man

Him grappling with his ambitions and dreams all the while knowing he isn't brave enough to pursue it so he just pretends he doesn't want it

Lowkey a denial song imagine him going 'I swear I don't want this thing I swear' then it's just him telling how wonderful must it be to have this thing(Is this about Lawrence or the Papacy?👀)

Track 5-Precious Doubts

NOW FOR THE DIVORCE

Some TayLore for those unfamiliar: Track 5s are her most vulnerable/personal songs

A lot of her heartbreak songs are Track 5s think All Too Well, Dear John, and So Long London

This is THE So Long London of the album

If tolerate it was in Midnights

Highkey very loml coded

This is the song that dives into his relationship with Lawrence and the trust and grief and heartbreak and doubts they both carry

HE WAS SUNSHINE I WAS MIDNIGHT RAIN

he wanted it comfortable I wanted that PAIN he wanted a bride I WAS MAKING MY OWN NAME CHASING THAT FAME

Track 6-It Is War

The Great War but without the reconciliation at the end

lowkey You're Losing Me

I'm fading thinking do something, babe, say something, lose something, babe, risk something, choose something, babe, I got nothing to believe

somewhere in the haze got the sense I've been betrayed

Him just BEGGING Lawrence to pick a side. Either support him or break his heart just be DONE with this

Track 7-Search Your Heart

Very Question...? inspired

I Wish You Would coded

Regret and all the feelings that come with it

A more subdued version of It Is War still bitter but less angry

Lowkey him wishing Lawrence would apologize LMAO

How You Get The Girl and The Other Side Of The Door core

doesn't everything feel like second best after that meteor strike?

Track 8-Breaking Of A Seal

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVORITE TOYS!!!!

HE WAS MY BESTFRIEND AND THAT WAS THE WORST PART

Just the metaphor of breaking things. Trust between him and Lawrence being broken when Lawrence broke Vatican law and when he refused to continue his candidacy.

I can kinda hear sounding like Down Bad

just the eraticness and otherworldly sound

first verse is very subdued and quiet but then the seal cracks before the chorus and the production shifts into a heavier synth

once I fix me he's gonna miss me

Track 9-Burn Them

High Infidelity coded

I bent the truth too far tonight I was dancing around it

Do you really wanna know where I was April 29th? Implying he took Tremblay's offer

His entire convo with Lawrence about the simony papers

Conflicting feelings of knowing what he's doing is wrong BUT also being so fucking tired and cannot deal with the alternative

Track 10-Pope John

Ngl this is only here because of Dear John

Afterglow coded

tell me that you're still mine tell me that we'll be just fine

Apology WITH tears

is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head?

Similar to ivy production-wise ESPECIALLY the bridge

Track 11-Firm Hand Of Yours

Quite possibly the horniest song in the album

Think So It Goes..., Guilty as Sin?, and I Can See You vibes

If that Eras Tour Dress x Afterglow mashup was a singular song

LOWKEY I Can Fix Him(No Really I Can) because I find it funny

you're good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger I can fix him no really I can

now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon

Production is very if reputation and TTPD had a baby

Track 12-Moth Of Holiness

Lawrellini's Labyrinth or Sweet Nothing production and lyric-wise

everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings

lowkey invisible string with how they'll always return to one another

I drive down different roads but they all lead back to you

cowboy like me coded too

I got some tricks up my sleeve takes one to know one

Track 13-Checkmate

Basically Mastermind sound-wise

more chess metaphors(coming full circle from Secrets of the State)

Very Clara Bow lyrically especially with the ending kinda comparing Vincent to the previous Pope

you're the new god worth worshipping promise to be dazzling

YOU GOT EDGE SHE NEVER DID

THE CROWN IS STAINED BUT YOU'RE THE REAL QUEEN

[frost-eyed-autumn]

Its been a long and winding year returning to tumblr in a more dedicated fashion for the first in a long while (not since 2019, yeesh! Time flies), but I can't really say I regret it at all!

With all its ups and a couple of downs, I've regained some of that old spark I used to have being in the RPC again and I really just wanted to do something paying it forward even if just in a small way -- so I'm doing a little something that used to be a common end-of-the-year tradition back during the golden years of the old RPC I used to romp in!

There's nothing anyone else has to do in return, this is just me giving a little bit of appreciation to all the people who have given me a reason to be here and really let me enjoy myself here again!

So one way or another, this is just a thank you to ALL of my mutuals who've made my time here a little bit brighter! Here's to a hopefully even better 2025!

@starsburned / @stormslullaby / @eiinn-ulfr

Cor, my bruhloved. Every list has to have you on it, naturally. I wouldn't even be here writing right now if you hadn't been the one to convince me to pick up Chuuya. Its hard to believe how close we're getting to the 8 year mark since we've officially become friends. I genuinely don't know where I'd be without you. You helped pick me up when I was at my lowest in the old fandom where we met, and that first time you let me vent to you, I really just thought you would be another person who was here today, gone tomorrow. But now you've woven yourself so deeply into my daily routine that I can't imagine anything less than having you part of my life. You're such an amazing person despite all of the absolute bullshit you've gone through daily that no one should have to suffer through, and I'm proud of you for still chugging along no matter how hard everything gets and how much you've grown and continue to grow. And more than just that, you're such an amazing writer to boot. You dedicate so much to every muse you pick up, whether it be a canon or an OC, and craft every one of them masterfully. From Rune to Dazai to Verlaine to Mori and all your other billions of muses (you fucking muse gremlin(affectionate)), none of them ever disappoint and I love seeing how passionate you are about all of them, whether it be in your writings or just your daily ramblings. Nothing would be the same without you here.

@memoryextrction

Things are still a bit new between us but I can say with full, genuine honesty you are one of the most pleasant people I've had the pleasure of getting to know! And I've had a lot of people come in and out of my life, most of them people that quickly showed they weren't good for me, so that's a compliment that doesn't come lightly from me, distant and critical person that I am about new faces. Even if I'm old and tired and can't always keep up with your energy, I always love seeing your messages and interacting with you, and just your overall maturity and decency as a person despite how young you still are and all of the shit you go through and struggle with on a daily basis. I only wish there were more people who could bring your kind of wholesome vibes to the world because the world seriously needs more people like you. And of course, your writing! The thing that got us interacting in the first place. I love our interactions so much and how much passion you put behind your muses, especially the characters who basically had nothing in their original series and really made them your own. I love the nuance and complexity and love you breathe into your 2-minute-screen-time muses and really give them the attention they deserve, and by god do they make for some of my favorite interactions of all time.

@nohumaen / @crimcpnish

We've only really begun to start talking in earnest, but I'm glad we have! Its rare that I'm pleasantly surprised by people, especially in dealing with tough situations, but you are one of those few people, and its a real breath of fresh air, let me tell you. I'm genuinely happy to have started writing with and getting to know you, and not just because your Kouyou (and Higuchi, and Fyodor) is fucking amazing, although that certainly helps! Your humor always gives me a good laugh, and overall I just really enjoy your company and don't regret at all bringing you into our little circle of friends. I'm wishing the best for you and those you keep closest!

@vulpesly

We don't write nearly as much as I'd like to these days, but just having you still around and part of my experience at all means more than I can rightly express. I always love our small exchanges and seeing Jono and Tachihara on the dash, and just how much care you put into your portrayals! Even just seeing your little rambles about other things like video games lightens my day a little. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your experience as well.

@inciteafflatus / @skilledsenses

Tenka! The bonafied cryptid of my circle of people. Its always a pleasure to see you around and your Ranpo is always so *chef's kiss* (even if Chuuya wants to yeet him through a ceiling every time). You're always so funny and pleasant to talk to, in the rare instances you make your cryptid appearances, and I'm glad to know you and always share in a good few laughs!

@ripheart / @beastlit

I know this year has been pretty rough on you, and I'm holding out hope that things get a lot better moving into the new year! I've really enjoyed what few exchanges we've had when we both have the energy to carry a conversation, and your amazing writings always leave me biting at the bit waiting for your next carefully crafted reply! Your Yosano is so beautifully portrayed and on-point I could swear she was written by Asagiri himself, and I really look forward to seeing more of her when life finally cuts you a break enough to return!

@eternalstarlights

Going to be honest, at one point I wasn't sure if we were ever going to meaningfully interact, but now that we have a couple things started I'm really glad we do! I'm really enjoying the little things we have going on between Kunikida and Ember and I especially really look forward to seeing how things develop with Ember because she and Chuuya honestly just seem like such a natural-born team to have working together and bonding over blowing things up!

@flamesignite / @hughesxmaes

We don't do a whole ton of direct interactions but seeing the constant shenanigans and total crack energy on my dash (at poor Roy's expense) is always a fun time even from the sidelines and is just about always guaranteed to get a laugh or two out of me. Keep doing what you're doing cuz its honestly such a joy to see!

@kitxkatrp

I'm really enjoying the little interactions we have going so far between Chuuya and Dazai and Mori! Its always fun having Double Black stirring up shit with each other and I definitely never have any complaints getting to throw Chuuya at a well written Mori!

@gyofukuki

Its a bit of a shame we don't get to interact more cuz you honestly just give me lots of good vibes whenever you're around! Though I totally get it with not being able to be around as much as you'd like to. I haven't forgotten the couple of things we managed to get started and I'm really looking forward to continuing them when you do manage to find the time to be back here properly!

@galaxy-0f-muses

It took us a while to really kick things off but I couldn't be happier that we finally have! I'm super enjoying the little thread we have going with Atsushi and Chuuya right now and I'm definitely interested to see how things will play out with Yosano once that thread finds its stride too! Here's to some hopefully fun, ongoing interactions because I'm really digging them so far!

@frozcnlight

We've only just started to really get things rolling, but I'm already enjoying the dynamic going on between Chuuya and Miran quite a bit! She's such an interesting contrast to Chuuya in a way that's bound to spark some interesting interactions between them. What those interactions will be, I'm not really sure yet, but exploring that and seeing where it goes has definitely caught my interest!

@spezialistin / @kokyuchusei

I always love seeing people giving some of the less recognized / appreciated characters of a series some love and attention, especially some of the strong female characters, and so far you really do immense justice to writing Higuchi! We may only have one little thread going at the moment but already it has me rolling around a ton of possibilities and ideas that I'm really looking forward to playing around with and hopefully I can inspire the same!

@ofdraiocht

Its good to finally get the ball rolling on something after being distant mutuals for so long and I'm definitely enjoying and looking forward to the interaction we have going between Chuuya and Odasaku! I always love playing around different timelines like Dark Era and what Chuuya's relationship might be to some of the characters we don't really get to see him interact with much in canon.

@voracitys

Its always nice to have a new face to write with and explore new possibilities and I definitely haven't been disappointed! I know Gin is still a bit of a new muse for you trying her out but what little we've written so far I'm really enjoying and love how you write her and look forward to seeing how these two develop! Especially being both Chuuya and Gin coming from somewhat similar backgrounds, even if she doesn't realize it yet, so there's a whole lot of potential there for the both of them that I'm eager to see play out!

@koriningyou

We're still kind of finding our stride in actually writing something together and kind of talked about that already, but trust me, I notice all the little Likes you leave on my posts and I really appreciate those small, daily affirmations that you're reading and wanting to interact! And I seriously appreciate it every time and look forward to once we get some momentum going on IC interactions as well!

@muses-of-kira / @alchemic-elric

We haven't really gotten to write much yet for obvious reasons but that doesn't mean I don't look forward to it! I'm wishing you a speedy recovery for your hand and I look forward to being able to write something once its better!

And just for following back this silly blog of mine at all, even if we haven't really interacted much (yet!)

@cursedlane || @seraphynm || @fullmxtal-elrich / @zodixcsorangekxtten / @cryptxd-laboratxry || @bookmcde || @doppogin || @cherrygardn || @pocketfulofgalaxies || @diverse-hearts-ocs || @rowanberryhub / @goeticedda || @ficryfingcrs || @paramythas || @avarlclouss || @mused-like-roses || @devouund / @vieaccorde / @straypaged / @yashabana || @teruoku || @hellshovnd

[hetalian-veteran]

Hello Hetalians! 😁

I've been meaning to do a pinned introductory post for a while now but never got around to it. Better late than never, amirite?

I am an adult woman in her mid-twenties and a Hetalia fan of many years. I've essentially been stuck in this lovely tarpit since 2012. However, this tarpit is a lot of fun, so I'm not leaving any time soon.

My favorite characters are Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Italy, Romano, Prussia, France, Scotland, America, Liechtenstein, and Switzerland.

My favorite ships are Iceliech, FrUk, Gerita, Pruhun, Aushun, and Swissden (or as I like to call it, Swissblade).

I also work in genealogy and research, so expect some Hetalia and even non-Hetalia posts about that.

I'm also learning German, so I'm always open to good tips on learning the language! 🇩🇪

This blog is a place where I like to post my thoughts and musings about literally anything Hetalia-related. Whether it be on events from fandom past, current events, or what have you, I love overthinking everything and posting about them. Original posts and musings are tagged #hetavet rambles.

I don't respond to asks or dm's super quickly, sometimes only getting to them in a few days. So please don't be upset or spam me if I don't respond as soon as possible. I don't always have the energy to respond right away. Just know that these delays are not out of ill intent.

I also do some reblogs here and there. So, while a majority of what I post is likely original content, not all of it will be. I just like cultivating a space that I personally enjoy, and I hope you can find some enjoyment here as well. <3

[kings-highway]

Hiya King! I’ve been making my way through a bunch of your fics recently (they are so good!!) I was wondering about your writing habits. How often do you write? Do you have writing exercises you do or do you mostly just work on fanfiction? How long have you been writing for? I am loving all the stuff of yours that I have read so far, so thank you for posting them~ (hope this wasn’t too many questions lol)

Hiya!!!!! Absolutely A-ok not too many questions at all I love answering questions so much!! I'll try not to ramble on forever and ever in my answer.

1. "How often I write" is a little hard to pin down. First, I need to explain that I have a desk job and I cover night shifts, so I actually do a lot of my writing in the downtime at work (sanctioned by my managers everything is ok it's permitted.) So due to being trapped at a computer screen and keyboard and not being able to leave for multiple hours, I tend to write... a lot more than I might on average. (Pretty sure this is the only reason I did any of the readings for degree ontime lmao). Typically, I am an all-or-nothing writer. If I have a free day, either the whole day is writing, or I don't even look at the document. I sort of go where the muse takes me in that way, which I know doesn't help for taking ideas for your own writing schedule, but it's the truth. I try not to be afraid of the long-quiet periods of writing, I always eventually get back to it.

2. Writing exercises? Fanfiction is my writing exercise! No, for real! Due to the relatively recent boom in people engaging with me and getting to play the role of the fanfiction author more and more it's sort of changing, but the reality is, I consider myself a writer outside of fanfiction more than I do any of my fanfic creations. Fanfiction has always been a writing exercise for me - original worldbuilding, original characters, original everything can be a lot of work, and I've found that writing fanfiction helps me crack out of some of my bad habits. Focus instead on stories, the actual beat and rhythm of my writing, foreshadowing and the actual prose. Of course, in some of my... newer works, my AUs and more fantasy ones this isn't as applicable (The End feels almost more like a standard original novel in terms of work for writing) BUT for me, fanfiction is "easy" - I don't have to decide how the characters act. Their personalities are already set - I don't have to decide the worldbuilding (usually), that was already decided. All I have to do is play in someone else's sandbox, so what's left is the foundational skills. If you can master writing in character for someone else's character, your ability to identify your own character's voices, what is needed to make someone sound different and unique from the other characters, how different archetypes fit together, it all becomes easier. And it frees up my brainpower to focus on playing with formatting techniques, and telling different stories, and learning what works and what doesn't when it comes to dialogue, scene setting. It's all in service of learning the trade. Hence why all my fanfiction is Haikyuu lmao... This isnt my natural writing state, I don't want to write for every single fandom I come across. Daichi has just become written equivalent of a crash test dummy for me. but a very important one - writing fanfiction got me out of a 2.5 year writing slump in which I basically never opened a page at all! So while it is very special to me, I tend to write fanfiction as a way of scrubbing my brain between original projects and to practice my skills rather than considering it my best writing. Hence why my fanfiction is almost entirely unedited. I ain't practicing those skills lmao. Otherwise... no other exercises. Writing with a buddy is always fun though. See who can get the most words done in however long.

3. "How long have I been writing" - literally, truly, genuinely, as long as I can remember. I don't say this like most people do, when they say "oh I've been writing/drawing/playing my whole life" when they really have just been casually interested and only started really trying recently - I have been writing my whole life. One of my earliest memories is of creating a stapled picture book I hand drew and writing that was a fairytale about me, my brother and my dad going on a fantasy adventure. I kept stapled pages of handwritten novels in my desk drawer - I used to get permission from my 3-5th grade teachers to skip recess and lunch and go down to the computer lab and work on a novel instead of going outside (got all my friends doing it too!), I finished my first 30k novel when I was twelve on my mother's work-assigned laptop (it was Warriors fanfiction.) I remember when my brother taught me when and how to do paragraph breaks, I remember him saying he wanted to write a novel and me going "that sounds so cool" and then never ever moving on even after he did. I could wax poetic about how writing is like air to me, and has been the only thing I have never doubted about myself in my life. Or, I could just admit that I'm a writing Nepobaby because my dad's worked in TV and Film as a writer and editor for pretty much his whole life so from the moment I started telling stories I've had the absolute best teacher and guide to bounce ideas off of for themes, story beats, plot structures. :p Anyway like a solid 2 decades at minimum.

Anyway thank you so so so so much for reading and liking my stuff, I hope this was satisfactory for answering questions even though I did end up going on and on. Thank you! Mentally giving you a nice soft-baked cookie of your flavour preference :) 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

xx

[katthyacinth]

Define Alive

As you prepare to rest your mind is preoccupied with questions for your vampire companion. Unable to push the thoughts away you approach his tent.

“Astarion?” You ask softly peering inside.

“Yes my sweet?” his voice replies from inside.

A rustling sound follows as he then appears in front of you.

“Can I ask you a question?” the words fall from your mouth

“Anything darling” You fear that might have been a mistake

"i guess now that I think about it its less of a question and more of an observation... you hate us, or maybe it's envy? of the living I mean. Do you wish you were still alive? That you were never immortal?"

He pauses not expecting your question slightly caught off guard. "I- I- well one loaded question there my love... I- pity you all. You must worry about the fact you'll one day be old and decay, you all can die from disease your so fragile and weak you living people..." he pauses, a long pause as you look at him expecting more. You haven't gotten the answer you wanted yet. he knows you won't leave until you do "although I guess if I had to say one nice thing. I envy the fact that your warm, that I can hear your heartbeat... it's calm... you living people are so careless and light for people who are so fragile." he trails off to himself until he realizes what he's doing "but I never wish I was still alive god no I would have been dead two hundred years ago and no one would be able to bask in my beauty!" he adds seemingly to dismiss the rest of his words. “Yes I suppose we can't have that” you chuckle "then I would've never met you the tragedy. Although sometimes I think what really defines being alive... I mean I think you're pretty alive to me" you muse

He scoffs giving you a look “I think the whole point of vampires is we're dead love. or undead if you want to be so technical about it”

“No, I mean think about it, what is making you not alive right now? You don't have a beating heart? Trees and plants live and they don't have organs or bacteria, diseases they're alive. The fact you don't can't eat? Plants eat sunlight and they don't even eat it. A Lot of animals don't have mouths too like worms. They're still alive.”

"Sweetheart while the philosophical thought is nice I-" He starts to speak but you cut him off again lost in your own ramble. He decides to indulge

“The point is Star… I think the fact that you're standing here having you're own thoughts walking around talking to me, that's enough especially with magic … who's to tell you if you're alive or dead you are both and it's ok. You're both!”

You look at him. He looks at you curiously thumbing over the odd thoughts you just piled into his mind. after a prolonged silence, he speaks

"you know... maybe you're right. I've been dead in the ground for far too long. I think it's time I start living again..." he finishes putting his arms around you.

It doesn't matter that his skin is not warm or that you can't feel a beating heart, you love him, he is yours you are his. Everything is ok.

(This is a rewrite for a fic I have on AO3 That I thought I should share so I have slight diversity in my evil men hyperfixation lol.)

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Cleo day! I am, as predicted, very sleepy. Hence why this is a bit on the later side. For all I've been brewing this for a while, it's still been a bit of a tossup as to what story, exactly, I wanted to tell. Settled on this one, as I prefer these fics to at least be as late as their introduction to the au, rather than backstory proper? Or at least be within times when the cycles are running?

This is also kiiinda a teaser for Joe's day, which I feel kinda bad about, but also I think this is fun. Assuming of course I get enough "actual consequences there will be consequences if I don't do it" writing done I can write Joe's day.

There is something wrong with Joe.

It is subtle, cleverly hidden, beneath many masks and many layers. Outwardly, nothing is different - no scars, no markings, not even the smell of other timelines on him.

Cleo knows what other timelines smell like; they traveled together for years, to future and past in random order until neither of them are entirely sure where they are. So it is not that. He has not traveled and seen something horrible.

Not bodily, at least.

Mentally... She's not so sure. Can Joe travel without his body? The pair of them never tried to go to a point in time when they already existed, something about loops and paradoxes and unpredictable outcomes. Is that what this is? Are there two Joes right now?

Except, there are not two Joes; there is only Joe, and it has always only been Joe.

It is the day after Joe introduced them all to the Turtle, the creature upon whose back they will be making their homes. Most of the world is overrun by Evil, now, and everyone knows that they are on a timer to be ready for the final fight. Joel has been brought on as an experienced mage, tactician, and all around asset; Skizz has been brought on because he crash landed in the cloister, and Impulse-Tango-Zedaph growl at anyone looks like they might ask him to leave.

They're on a turtle. They are all living on a turtle, swimming gently in the sea so as not to knock their spired university into the watery abyss. It's mad, it's stupid, it's /exactly the plan that Joe Hills would come up with, and so Cleo will support it every step of the way/.

Everyone knows they are going to win, but it is all a manic race to be as prepared as possible; knowing you will win does not tell you what it will cost you.

So, even Cleo nearly misses it, Cleo with her hundreds of years at Joe's side nearly misses that something is wrong.

But something IS wrong.

The two of them are sat in the Arcane Department's staff room, going over their lesson plans in the comfort of wingbacked, fireside chairs while the rest of the department are teaching.

"Given there the exams were weak last cycle, I think I need to put higher emphasis on electrical magic," Cleo muses, flicking through papers with one hand, and holding her teacup in the other. "I'm just not sure if I should sacrifice fire or water for it. Those two are definitely the ones with the most lessons, as they're useful to set up the principles for other elements, but if I cut back on earth, ice or air any further it isn't getting done."

"What about cutting back on air and making it an optional extra module?" Joe suggests. "Like, my extra-classes on pre-historic-"

Joe's voice catches, just long enough that Cleo notices. She looks up, meaning to ask, but then-

"Pre-historic orkish culture, right," Joe snaps his fingers. "I always forget which one is the optional class. Isn't it fascinating? I do wonder if I should just make all the history classes compulsory and all of the actual time magic ones optional, but then we are here to prepare our students for the war. Train mages, yes, but we need to remember our first job is keeping them alive. At least /some/ of them will be educated on ancient cultures and future dynasties this way. If they use their magic well, they might even survive."

It sounds right, the ramble rambling on.

At the same time, Cleo catches the slight catch, the talking about survival, the way something about the entire monologue is just /off/.

They squint at him, and take a moment to sip their tea, assessing.

He's doing a good job at hiding it, but it is like a switch as been flipped; Joe's fingers are a little too tight on the arms of the chair, his back a little too rigid, his eyes a little too dead.

Joe's eyes are never dead.

"Joe?" Cleo asks. "You good?"

"I'm fine," he waves her off. "Why wouldn't I be fine?"

She has no idea why he wouldn't be fine, but he isn't.

And it cannot just be the responsibility of introducing them to the turtle; it was like a switch flipped in his brain.

But Cleo isn't /good/ at this. Cleo cannot even pretend to be good at this - they wouldn't even be trying, she doesn't think, if this was anyone but /Joe/.

So they say "well, if you need someone to go over your lecture notes, I've seen as much of the timeline as you have."

Joe flinches, and his smile is too small- too honest.

He's supposed to fight her, to point out the decades he spent time traveling before he met her, before he pulled some half-sentient zombie from the swamp, and helped her make herself a person again.

Instead he says "thanks, Cleo" with a voice too honest for any of this.

[icky-sicky-kpop-sickfics]

I've been lurking around the kpop sickfic tag for a while and have finally built up the nerve to try my hand at writing one. I apologize in advance with how this may turn out as I am not the best at writing.

This one is going to be about Dino from Seventeen suffering from a bad bout of food poisoning. Not sure how long this is going to end up so we'll see. Thank you for listening to my ramblings and please be kind! Now on with the story!

A/N: obviously I don't know what any idol is like in real life so I am doing my best based on how I've seen them act around one another in front of the camera and see them as just characters in a story. In essence, not reflecting on the real idols and how they may be/act in real life.

Part 1:

They were nearing the end of the North American leg of their Be the Sun tour and had just finished up the concert in NYC. Most of the members were too exhausted to do anything afterwards, but Hoshi, Mingyu, Wonwoo and Dino decided to head to a local restaurant close to their hotel for a drink and bite to eat as they were famished.

As they walked inside their jaws dropped at the size of the TVs that were hanging everywhere and the amount of people that had packed themselves inside as late as it was. They were ushered to one of the last empty tables in the far corner of the pub-type restaurant and took their seats. They quickly ordered their beers right as they sat down, and began taking in all the options that were available on the menu.

"What are you thinking of ordering hyungs?" Dino questioned the three sitting around him, a bit overwhelmed by the amount of options and tired from the concert earlier that night.

"I'm just thinking about getting a pub burger, I need something greasy to go with my beer-" Mingyu was the first to speak up. Wonwoo quietly nodded in agreement at that, deciding to order the same thing.

"What about you, Hoshi-hyung?" Dino turned to Hoshi, curious about what the older was thinking of ordering.

"I'm between these two pasta dishes..." Hoshi comments back, pointing them out on the menu. Neither option, nor a burger sounded good to him so his hyungs were of no help narrowing down.

"What are you thinking about getting?" Mingyu asked Dino, curious about what their dongsaeng was thinking of getting after hearing their choices.

Dino was about to respond when their waitress came back to the table and asked if they were ready to order. His hyungs looked at Dino expectantly to see if he was ready and he just shyly nodded, asking to go last.

As the others were ordering, Dino quickly scanned the menu again and decided to just go with a grilled chicken sandwich, opting for something simple. Once it got back around to him, he quickly ordered and handed his menu to the waitress. As she walked away to put in their orders the others gave him a funny look.

"That's all you're gonna get Dino-yah? Why not get something a little more exciting?" Wonwoo quietly teased the younger, a bit surprised by the bland option.

"I just want something that can digest easily since I'm gonna pass out as soon as we get back and Hoshi-hyung and I have a dance practice early tomorrow before we head to our next stop." Dino mused, swigging the last of his beer.

It didn't take long for their food to come out, each ordering another drink to go with the meal as well.

The others dug into their meals, clearly content with what they had chosen. Dino took a bite of his sandwich, noticing a slightly sour taste as he swallowed. He thought he had just ordered a plain one, but didn't think much of it as he attempted to keep up with his hyungs.

Once they were finished they paid the bill and began walking back towards their hotel. Wonwoo and Mingyu walked slightly ahead, talking about who knows what.

Hoshi was in the middle of discussing their plan for practice in the morning, but if Dino was going to be honest, he was only half paying attention. It had been about 20 minutes since they had left the restaurant, and he was finding it harder and harder to walk. His stomach felt really heavy and a bit bloated, making it almost hard to breathe. He wondered why he felt as such since he had eaten so light, but just assumed it was the beer sitting a bit heavy.

Dino was just about to respond to Hoshi's plans when all of a sudden his stomach let out a wet gurgle. Hoshi glanced down at his dongsaeng, chuckling slightly as the younger blushed shyly and attempted to shy away.

"How are you still hungry after all that?" Hoshi commented, a puzzled look on his face.

"I...I'm not, at least I don't think so..." Dino stammered, trying to figure out if he actually was or not. "Maybe I should've gotten an extra side since we worked so hard today. I'll make some ramen when we get back to the room."

"Okay maknae, whatever you say." Hoshi responded, pulling Dino along faster to catch up to the others.

[a-jar-of-beetles]

kristen thoughts plus divine musings

I really want to write out my theory and speculations about last episode but Kristen C. Applebee's won't stop taking up all my brain space so I might as well share my ramblings.

First off it was a really interesting choice to reach out to her parents she could have easily settled for checking in with Bucky to see how he and their other siblings were doing, but decided to talk to her parents anyway which besides being brave also shows a maturity that often alludes Kristen (not that ignoring her parents for the rest of her life is immature but that's not the point I'm making).

Although I wish she could have interacted more with her brothers her conversation with her parents was not as confrontational as I would have expected I for sure thought that Kristen would have bitten back at the "Helio might not have let that happen" comment when Kristen the literal chosen one of Helio has died multiple times.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the way Mac and Donna talked about Galicaea, they acted like she was just some random goddess but in Elysium Galicaea refers to Sol as her brother which is a weird thing for Kristen's parents to ignore so is the fact that Sol and Galicaea are siblings something that not common knowledge? Could it just be something that's forbidden or just taboo to talk about? Mac and Donna were also pretty judgemental about elves when they were first introduced so maybe it has something to do with that?

So that got me thinking about how Cassandra is mostly referred to as Galicaea's sister instead of Sol's while it could just be that they're both associated with night and that they both had elven followers but it made me wonder what type of relationship they had. Were they just never close in Elysium he never mentioned Cassandra but that could have just been because Kristen didn't ask him about her the only real thing we know about Sol is that he obviously approved of Ankarna and Cassandra otherwise he wouldn't have officiated their wedding.

Which brought me back to how Sol followers in the modern/evangelist church of Sol don't seem to actually know or care about what Sol actually represents/represented, which made me think about the inverse. Does Sol even truly know what's going on with his followers? Because of devil's nectar we know Gods can be purposely deceived but we also know that the nectar works by deceiving yourself first so if you truly believe something and tell your God the same they will believe it too because in Spyre the gods aren't omniscient, we've literally seen it with Galicaea who thought that Cassandra erasing her old name was her own idea and the Nightmare King killed her even when there was evidence to the contrary. Do you think her clerics did it on purpose? Whether their words were Honeyed or delusional Galicaea was still lied to. Galicaea who loved her sister, who would destroy anyone that would dare hurt her baby sister, who bared her fangs at the mention of doubt and only spoke of conviction and clarity which belonged to her fallen sister in law.

Do you think that after Cassandra died Ankarna wasn't the only one who got corrupted? Do you think that with out someone to champion doubt and hold peoples hand through the unknown, people stopped questioning the words of their preachers, paladins and clerics? because doubt became hard to speak about was it just ignored and swallowed? Was it the avoidance of doubt that made the followers of Sol demonize Ankarna? Because without Cassandra Ankarna was no longer a part of their family? Sol and Galicaea did they care? How did they when they lost the last part of Cassandra besides themselves? Were they sad?angry? relived? upset? apathetic? Did they even notice it happen at all?

Maybe I've just been thinking too much

IDK

[queermentaldisaster]

“The Hunt Is My Muse”

Holy fucking shit y'all, it's been a while since I've updated this fic. Finally managed to finish this chapter, so here you go! I don't remember if there was a tag list or not so uh...woe be upon ye ig, lol. Enjoy!

“Thank you for letting us use your interrogation room, Alejandro.” Price thanked him, as Soap kept Graves moving forward, Ghost at his side, in panther form.

Graves stayed quiet, even as Alejandro shot him a glare, before speaking to Price. “It’s no problem. You all are a part of this force as far as we are concerned,” Alejandro said, with a soft smile. “Mi casa es tu casa. It means that my home is your home.”

Price smiled. “Gracias, Alejandro.”

Soap pushed Graves into the interrogation room, Ghost following behind. Graves went to the chair without a single fuss, sitting down and letting Soap restrain him. Soap’s eyes narrowed. ‘Suspicious.’ He thought, before grabbing Graves’ chin. “Where’s all yer fight, ye bawbag?” Soap demanded. Ghost tilted his head, watching Graves closely.

Graves looked Soap in the eyes, his face expressionless. He didn’t say a word, which only raised Soap’s suspicions. Ghost let out a low growl, stepping closer, his tail lashing. Price stepped in, crossing his arms. “What’s going on, Soap?” The older man asked, and Soap looked back at Price.

“He’s doin’ nothin’. Nae dout he’s up tae somethin’.” Soap spat, his eyes narrowed further. He let go of Graves’ chin, stepping back. Graves let his head hang low, visibly refusing to do anything but sit there. Ghost snarled, just as Gaz entered the room who let out a sharp breath, his nostrils flaring.

“Alright, everyone out, I need to work.” Gaz ordered, and Soap nodded, leaving with Ghost and Price.

•✧-----------------------------------✧•

Gaz came out about an hour later, sitting on the couch in the lounge, right next to Roach, who was rambling to Ghost and Soap. Soap looked up. “Any luck?” He asked.

Gaz shook his head. “Not exactly. He told me what we already knew, but nothing more.” He grumped, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Soap hummed, idly picking at a scab on his arm.

“Hm. He's bein’ too cooperative.” He muttered, mostly to himself as he stared into the distance. “I cannae tell if he's daft or suicidal.”

Ghost chuffed and put a paw on Soap's hand, drawing him back to reality. He looked down at the panther and used his free hand to scratch behind his ears. “Och, ah dinnae ken if it matters either. He's no’ goin’ free.”

Gaz hummed, tapping his fingers on the holster of his gun. “Not sure it's either of those.” He murmured, causing the others to look at him with confusion. Gaz shrugged, looking directly at Soap. “He mentioned something in passing as I was leaving. Something about how he just wanted to keep what he'd managed to build.”

Roach arched an eyebrow. “Shepherd threatened to destroy his life?” Gaz shrugged again and Ghost's ears flicked in irritation from the repeated tapping on the holster.

Soap slipped Gaz a pen to twirl as the other man began speaking. “Maybe. But I'm not so sure that it's that simple. I'ma talk to Price, see if he and Laswell can dig up Graves’ files. We're missing a piece here.”

Ghost growled, displeased with what Gaz was implying. Gaz looked at him with a sigh. “I know, you want him six feet under, but he could have extra information we need and I need to know where to push to get that information.”

Soap scratched Ghost's head, nodding at Gaz. “Aye, we can understand that. We're nae goin’ tae be happy about it though.”

[nisuna]

Edit: I have since posted the fic, check it out here!!

hi hello, so this isn't my official "comeback" yet as I'm currently sick in bed 😭 so this is just a little teaser and explanation of what I'm planning hehe

So I've had this idea for a long time, so long that it was the first fic I ever wanted to write down on this blog and the idea that motivated me to start writing in general, but things happened so yeah I'm only now finding the time to finally write for it

so basically, it's friends with benefits geto x f!reader, simple enough, right? Well, not quite (if you're not interested in too much detail, feel free to skip my rambling and scroll down for some excerpts and quotes 😘 they'll be below the cut)

It all happened one evening when your best friend came to pick you up from a party for the first time, being tipsy and sexually frustrated one thing led to another and you slept together and from then on it kind of became your guys' thing

Whenever you were out and didn't end up with someone, you called him and he actually came to pick you up

You've known each other for a few years but you just couldn't get yourself to call him Suguru, it's always Geto this Geto that, even tho he would really like you to just call him by his first name, but you're like no no no nonono I can't

And if that wasn't bad enough, your tipsy self always added -san, so it's Geto-san whenever he picks you up haha

You've done a lot already, anything dirty you could think of, been there done that, but no kissing bcs that's too intimate duh, like having a dick shoved so far up it's rearragning your guts isn't yeah yeah sweet denial

So this time there wasn't anything unusual about it, he picked you up like always and you were down to fuck so what's the worst that could happen?

he miiiighhtt make you call him by his first name and maybe just maybe you do finally kiss???!

I'm also down for maybe a prequel to the first time it happened?? 👀👀

But in any case, enjoy an excerpt from the beginning as well as some of my ideas and quotes I plan to include :D

He never understood why you liked going out to the most shabby and stuffed clubs. It reeked of alcohol and smoke mixed with all kinds of bodily fluids. As he was making his way through the dancing crowd of sweaty people grinding against each other, he finally found you sitting at the bar while some guy was leaning in your direction way too close for comfort.

He had his usual fit, hair half up with a black over sized sweater and loose black joggers. Making him look so huge that if there were any guys bothering you, they would leave you alone as soon as they saw him.

"Yo~ y/n", he touched your exposed shoulder and gave you his signature eye smile, before staring down the guy next to you that was trying to get in your pants or in this context in ypur skimpy little dress. The guys' annoyed look turned into a worried one after seeing who he was up against.

"Aahhh Geto-saannn you're here early" you mused, leaning against his hard chest. That damn honorific, he cursed but still managed to squeeze out a smile.

"Haha "-san", so you aren't her boyfriend then." the stranger snarled but soon gave up as Suguru raised an eyebrow at him and snapped a "watch it". "Alright, alright, I give up", he put his hands up in defeat. "Maybe next time, sweetcheeks."

As soon as the guy left Suguru took both of your hands in his and knelt down in front of you. "Y/n we've talked about this, if you don't want to call me Suguru at least drop the honorific. We've known each other for years now don't you think it's about time. Also, don't you think it's weird when you call the guy you fuck by his last name, hm?" He turned his head looking at you expectedly.

"But Geto-saaaan-"

"Ah ah, what did I just tell you"

"Okay okay, Geto" you huffed, "You know I'm not comfortable with that", you whined, squeezing his hands.

"I just want to hear you say it at least once. Say it and I'll fuck you real good tonight.", he smirked.

You considered it, after a hard week you really needed a good fuck. "Sugu-", is all you could manage before snapping your head away, "Nope can't do it."

He let his head drop with a loud sigh. "It's alright. It looks like I was just pushing my luck. C'mon, let's get you out of here." And with that, he rose back to his full height, grabbed your hand and pulled you from the bar stool. While making your way through the crowd and to his car, your thoughts kept wandering.

Suguru... that's such a pretty name.

----------

"What's up with you today? If you keep squeezing me that hard you might actually snap my dick off.", he chuckled. He's way to cocky. You have to do something about that.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you can be. If you don't stop talking, I think I might have to shut that mouth of yours up myself.", you whispered putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling his face close so that it was right in front of yours.

--------

"Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

"No, it feels really good. I can feel you all the way up here", you smiled, leaning back and tracing your fingers from your pubic bone to just over your belly button.

"Fuck, you can't just say those things out of the blue" he mumbled sitting up, finally starting to pound into you from below.

"Wow that did it, huh?" you chuckled arching your back and clawing at his shoulders. "How naive, men are so simple." you kept that thought to yourself tho.

----

"Wait", you mumbled against his lips. "Don't pull out. Keep fucking me. Hurry up." How could he say no to you, even if he felt like he was about to die from overstimulation, he couldn't possibly deny you.

-----

"Fuck, I'm hard again"

"Then keep going."

-----

Look forward to the whole thing as soon as I feel better🙈🙈🙈 and feel free to let me know what you think!❤️