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#i dont even know anymore how to tag this lol
systembug · 6 months
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They explore together!
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@lazywriter-artist your mischievous explorator got out again :D (i love him)
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gifti3 · 3 months
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So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…
Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”
Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.
I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔
i fuck with this, not gonna lie
the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone
now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo
yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol
u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]
asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO
asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"(//︶^︶)typa deal--so thats why i say that
and then maybe beel and belphie
beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad
belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it
i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that
while levi is... levi
hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...
and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d
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daydream-believin · 2 months
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Like A Boiled Frog (You Don't Even Scream) [ch 1]
notes: might proofread this before i post this to ao3 but here have the raw milk version (pasteurization is for losers amaright)
series summary: every time you think things cant get any more batshit, hurricane throws another pile of guano at you. every time you think the hole cant get any deeper, you fall further. and you’re not sure what frightens you more: the town itself, or your increasing reluctance to leave.
or: au where mike has that pizza shop for wayyy more than a week and you find yourself a horror protagonist. or at least one’s love interest.
chapter summary: get haunted bitch. now go drive to utah in a manic episode. go meet a nice walking corpse, maybe it'll fix you. or make you worse. probably that second thing lmao
word count: 7985, oh dear (thats with me cutting out some stuff lol)
warnings: uh, swearing, manic behavior, self-harmful thoughts/behavior, mention of hallucinations/hearing voices, shit this is sounding bad, i mean its canon typical violence so idk man no lifeguard on duty
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You know how in Source Decay, John Darnielle says / I wish the west Texas highway was a mobius strip / I could ride it out forever / when I feel my heart break? / Well, that guy’s a bitchass snake oil salesman for romanticizing this. Fuck that guy.
Although, this is the first time you’ve ever been able to set a cruise control and actually just leave it at that. What with there being no other cars on the road out here at this hour for you to run into. You even forgot about it at one point.
Little puffs of fire danced in your peripheral vision, like fairies flitting about. It was easy to spot them out in the night air, all those pumpjacks that littered the desert. There was nothing but these small fires, with the tiny, dotted additions of the glowing red eyes of windmills to light up the way for miles.
And you tried not to think about how if you broke down, no one would be around to find you. Every now and then you would startle at the shadowy specter of a tumbleweed crossing your path, but you were acutely aware of just how alone you were out here.
On that train of thought, your gaze fell to the passenger side, to the little bear toy you had buckled into a seatbelt like it was a person.
“Can you believe this, Fredbear?” you asked the inanimate object.
Fredbear did not answer, of course. Would be insane if he did, right?
Hmm …Why did part of you expect him to.
***
The august sun was beating down hot on your back as you walked home that day. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it was only last week.
The neighborhood was as full of life as it always was. The kids running around in a game of tag, the teens playing basketball, and the adults walking their dogs. You could hear some faint music playing in the distance, most likely from the stage setup in the square downtown, not too far away.
There were many yard sales set up, it being the thing to do on a sunny Saturday afternoon like this. Despite your very strong instincts to rummage through all the boxes in these sales like a raccoon looking for dinner in a dumpster, you were broke, with no money to spare for impulse purchases on random junk. And thus, being a mature adult, you walked right past them.
That is, until a yard full of children’s toys caught your eye. One of your cousins’ kids was turning 6 in a few weeks. Might as well buy presents now before you forget again and have to rush to the store in a panic 8 minutes after the party had already started, sweat rolling down your back as you search the toy isle for something the birthday boy would like, while your phone keeps buzzing in your pocket nonstop because both your cousin is texting and your aunt is calling to ask where you’re at because you were the one who was supposed to be picking up the pizza.
 I mean, just a hypothetical scenario here.
You didn’t really find anything good as you dug through the bins of miscellaneous action figures and toy cars. As you could recall, the kid really liked Iron Man right now. And sharks. Alas, you found no Iron Mans or sharks in those bins.
The other table’s baskets were full of stuffed animals. You could maybe get lucky and find a stuffed shark in there. But stuffed animals are notorious for being hard to clean; and yard sale plushies sometimes come with more than just one new friend. You weren’t about to be the reason your cousin had to fumigate her house for bedbugs. Again. So, you decided to close this case for now and skedaddle on out of there.
You took another look back at the table as you walked away.
Well.. The toys you could see at the top of the bins did look like they were well taken care of… It couldn’t hurt to just look, right?
Yeah no. You found no sharks unfortunately. What you did find, however, was this funky little teddy bear wearing a top hat and bowtie.
A real character, that one. The bright gold fabric of its body made it stand out amongst the other toys. The smile stitched onto the bear gave it a weird, smug look. And you hadn’t seen a plushy with eyebrows before.
That being said, this thing’s aura was so... unsettling. You stared into its black eyes, that seemed to stare right back at you, with a strange feeling twisting in the pit of your stomach.
“You like that one, do ya?”
You almost jumped out of your skin when the old man running the sale spoke to you. You had Not heard him come up beside you like that. Creepy.
“Yeah, it’s…” you tried to think of a positive word, “very intriguing. Looks like it’s ready for a party.”
“My granddaughter called him Fredbear. Found him over in Utah, many years back. In a yard sale, just like this one,” he gently took the bear from you, and looked down at it wistfully, “My granddaughter..  liked how smartly dressed he was. A perfect guest for her tea parties. You were right about that…”
The old man stared at the doll for a little longer after the conversation faded. You felt extremely awkward now. Perhaps you really should have just left without unearthing this obvious sentimental piece.
“My grandchildren are no longer here with me,” you felt a little uncomfortable with how he phrased that, “so, I’ll tell you what. Promise me you’ll take care of him, and he’s yours. Free of charge.”
“Oh, I couldn’t. I’d be happy to pay for him, really,” you felt bad taking free stuff from the elderly.
“No,” he said with a tone of finality, placing the bear firmly into your hands, “the day’s almost over. I’d like to help this old friend move on. It’s time.”
Well that somehow was both sweet and foreboding at the same time.
So, you thanked the old man and started back on your walk home, Fredbear cradled in your arms. He waved goodbye to you. The grandfather, of course, not the teddy bear.
You probably aren’t going to wind up giving this one to your cousin’s son. There was something about it that told you not to. Maybe it was the way the old man talked about it. You felt compelled to take care of the plush yourself. Kind of like an honor thing. Or a pity thing.
It smelled a little funky. But that’s nothing a little TLC couldn’t handle. And some dish soap.
Maybe you were just. Feeling a bit childish lately. Too small and easily broken. Moved to tears by little things that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Disregarded and treated like your fears weren’t real.
Deeply afraid.
Yeah, you’d give Fredbear a nice soak in the sink with a fun dish soap bubble bath. And maybe after that, you’ll both feel a little better.
You were alone in your apartment that night, as your roommate was always gone these days. And when you made your tea, you brought Fredbear a mug as well. A little tea party, for old time’s sake.
Looking back, maybe that was your first mistake.
***
Static rolled from your radio. You gave up on fiddling with it hours ago, but you’ve got nothing better to occupy your mind now.
You turned the knob absentmindedly, never really expecting to get anywhere. Or any signal, that is. A muffled country song here, the broken-up voice of a DJ there, nothing strong enough to stay for more than a few seconds. However, a few seconds of a clear transmission was all you really needed when you rolled past a certain signal.
“zZz-Hurricane—“
Now that was a word that got your attention. Not that you were anywhere near the coast at the moment. You know, unless the person reading this is looking to buy some oceanside property in Arizona. In that case feel free to slide into my DMs.
“zZZ-Peach Days! -Zz celebratio— zzZ-year—peaches peach—-ZzzZ-Heritage-zZ,” you let your gaze flicker downward, towards the dimly lit red text of the frequency number display as if that would provide some more insight.
And then suddenly, the fuzz was completely gone, as if you were near the tower itself,
“So Hurry On To Hurricane City!” the spokesman encouraged cheerfully. You could practically here the giant pageant smile in his voice as he delivered his slogan. This man was your friend, obviously. Then, however, his tone shifted as he closed the ad copy, “Because you know the party can’t start without you…”
You held your breath as the silence dragged out a few agonizing seconds, until “ZZZZZZZZ!!!”, in a jolt, the transmission went completely out. Explosively. You even flinched.
You stayed on the station for a good twenty minutes after that, waiting to see if you could hear anything again. You could feel your heart pound against your ribs until the terrifying feeling faded. There was nothing else but static, of course, and for so long you almost thought you must have imagined it. If not for the way those dull words repeated in your head, over and over.
THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.
THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.
THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.
You hadn’t really had a destination in mind when you took off. No goal other than to get out of there as fast as you could manage. The idea of the West had been bouncing around your brain a lot lately, hence your current trajectory, but you really hadn’t had a clue where you were supposed to be going when you left.
I mean, you still didn’t have a destination. You had no clue what that advertisement was even about. Where they were even fucking talking about. Hurricane City?
Yet, somehow, you knew those words were meant for you. Not anyone else. you. There was a party and the party was waiting for you.
Guess you’d have to look for a map or something in town. Perhaps use the library computer. Man, you would regret throwing your phone into the lake in a fit of passion as you left town, but honestly, this is the longest you’ve known peace in quite some time. Just gonna have to live a little retro for a while. Not the worst thing in the world.
You’ll get a new one later, once you’ve settled in to… wherever you’re going. Whatever new home lies over that horizon for you, you guess.
The sun was breaching the beige skyline of sandy shrub brush as you finally rolled over the state line. You needed to eat. Your stomach growled loudly at just the thought. Funny. You hadn’t even thought about eating in the last.. twenty hours. Which means you should be absolutely shaking right now. Yeah, that’s why you’re shaking. That’s it. You’ll pull into the first diner you see.
You were hoping to at least be in Roswell for breakfast, but there was no way your body was going to be able to keep running if you waited that long. Looks like it’s just going to be the first place you come across.
Hopefully they don’t put green chilis in their pancakes or something.
That sounds insane but it’s an actual thing you’ve seen before in this state, trust. There are no laws nor gods when it comes to Hatch green chilis.
***
Your sleepy brain was not ready for the bell that rang as you walked through the door. Embarrassingly enough, the tinny noise startled you. You almost tripped, to be honest. Thankfully your wobbly Bambi legs held up as you managed to catch yourself.
The hostess wasn’t in sight as you awkwardly stood in the entrance, but there was a whole heap of noise coming from the kitchen.
“Hold on just a second, Sweetpea!” a voice called out to you.
Well, guess you’re holding on a second.
Your eyes scanned the top of the walls, perusing the vast cookie jar collection that the owner had accrued over the years. They were never dusted, despite being on shelves that lined the top of every wall in the tiny shack of a diner, and thus you could easily tell that a few new additions had been made. You know, because those cookie jars were way less filthy.
That’s gotta be a heath-code violation.
After you heard a bit of garbled yelling, the hostess rushed out to take her place in front of you. Smoothing down her polka-dotted apron, she grinned at you.
“Table for two?”
You blinked. It was too early in the morning for fully intelligent speech.
“Uh. No. Just me today. Thank you.”
Her big, bedazzled cat-eyeglasses fell a little farther down her nose as she scrunched her face in confusion, “alright then. Just the one of you today...”
She grabbed a paper menu as she led your shambling body to a table near the window. Which was shut away with ancient looking vinyl blinds that you were too afraid to open, lest they crumble and the cost of replacing them be put on your on tab.
She had already disappeared back into the kitchen by the time you got yourself in a seat. You glanced around the room. You weren’t the only patron here, as a few tables held a few bodies, but you were the only one without your face buried in a newspaper. And to be expected honestly, you were the youngest person in the room at seven in the morning.
The hostess, who was also the only waitress in this tiny local business, placed two glasses in front of you. The dull sound they made hitting the table drew you out of your revelry. There before you were two cups, a steaming mug of fresh coffee and a short glass of milk. You looked up in confusion.
“Don’t worry, it’s whole milk. Builds strong bones.”
That... wasn’t your concern.
You looked back at the cup in confusion and by the time you turned back, she had already moved on to the next table, refilling mugs and having loud banter with the other customers. Her regulars, by the sound of it. You felt too apathetic to try and call her over again.
You shrugged, to no one in particular, as you did not have a breakfast partner with you, despite the waitress’s insistence otherwise. Wait, was she mocking you? Eh, maybe it’s just supposed to be for the coffee. Nevertheless, you would not be drinking the milk, so you just left it there.
Despite the prevalence of the local newspaper in the room, there wasn’t a dispenser or anything at the front of the restaurant, like there usually is. As you drummed your fingers on the tablecloth, bored out of your mind, you kinda regretted throwing your phone in the lake a bit more. Maybe not the best of moves.
But hey, at least you aren’t constantly quelling the incessant buzzing you’d be hearing if you’d kept it.
You busied yourself stirring your coffee while you looked over the menu again, just for something to read. Of course, you were ordering a waffle. Because this was a diner, and, yeah, you do like waffles. And pancakes. And French toast. Doodoodoodoo can’t wait to get a mouthful.
That voice kept echoing in your mind. The party can’t start without you.
“More coffee, Babycakes?” the waitress snapped you out of your thoughts.
“Oh! Yeah, thank you,” you moved the mug to the edge of the table, closer to her, “Say… I know this is an out-of-pocket question, but have you heard anything about Hurricane City? Maybe something about peaches?”
“Oh!” she snapped her fingers, “You mean the Peach Days. It’s a little heritage festival they put on every summer in Hurricane, you know. It’s a hoot, my family makes a trip out there every few years or so for it. Not this time of course, clearly, since I’m here talkin’ to you and not in Utah—”
“In Utah?”
Of course, it was Fucking Utah again.
“I know it’s soundin’ far, but it’s only ‘bout a day’s drive from here. Two days if y’ain’t crazy about following an itinerary like my husband,” she brushed a hand over her apron before you lost her attention to the other customers, “I swear that man would plan out a schedule for every second of the day if he could…”
After she wandered off to go top off more mugs, you lamented the fact that you still hadn’t ordered yet. That’s what you get for being nosy about peach festivals, you suppose.
Thankfully though, soon enough you had your hearty breakfast and were back in front of the wheel, on your way to the friendly neighborhood Walmart. Where hopefully no cops or employees would bother you as you crashed in the parking lot.
You took Fredbear to the backseat with you for good luck. Maybe it was the gold color, or the fancy getup he had. Maybe you just needed a cuddle buddy to not feel so alone in this parking lot swarming with people.
Much to your disdain, it was now a bit into the morning hours, and the sun was fully up.
You had tried to find as shady a spot as possible, but it’s not exactly like trees grow in this biome. At least not naturally. Windbreak tree lines were definitely a thing, but those protected buildings people cared about, and this was a Walmart. Nothing around here but concrete, rocks spray painted blue, and cigarette butts.
So after tossing and turning in the bright blinding sunshine for way longer than you should have, and making promises to higher deities was proven to be unfruitful in your attempt to find some semblance of peace, you finally just had to admit defeat. And here by rescinding any aforementioned promises to higher powers.
You laid Fredbear back down on the seat and tucked him in with the blanket when you got back up. At least one of you could be cozy and well rested. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be you, however.
Well, it’s far from the first all-nighter you’ve pulled without having time to take a nap during the following day. Sleep deprivation isn’t real, silly. Teachers just made that up to scare you. It’ll be fine.
***
You know you never really realize how much we structure our lives around other humans until you take a drive through the middle of nowhere. How essential it is to have enough gas to make it to the next town. From town to town, your life becomes segments. Only within the eyesight of other humans are you ever safe. Only within the bounds of the settlement can your soul be settled.
Gas stations become oases. Which is the plural of oasis, apparently. Anyway, you start seeing them like mirages. Dingey, weather-worn gas pumps become as good as a sparkling illusion of precious water in the Sahara. The empty shells of buildings you passed by, long since forgotten, became like mausoleums in these graveyard towns. Villages. Hamlets. Mostly hamlets.
“Are we there yet?” a small and very annoyed voice called out.
You had just written it off as your imagination until you heard the noise of shuffling fabric. Normally your audio hallucinations aren’t that detailed. Paralyzed, you held your breath, not daring to make any noise that would distract your ears from hearing whoever, whatever, was in the back seat. Your mind went to stories of skinwalkers and misshapen monsters and hitch-hiking serial killers.
“… Are we there yet?” the voice repeated, admittedly sounding even smaller to you now.
Yep, that’s a real person alright. Or a real thing. Your eyes were probably bloodshot from the way you haven’t blinked this entire time, just staring straight ahead on the desert highway. Taking a deep, shaky breath to steady yourself, you turned down the rear-view mirror…
Christ almighty. You had a stowaway.
Your stomach turned immediately. God, come on now, don’t puke up what little you had on your stomach. You need that.
“Hey Buddy,” you tried to sound as friendly as you could, “What’s your name?”
Clad in a little striped shirt and cargo shorts, he started kicking his feet in impatience, which would be cute if it weren’t for this situation y’all are in, and the adrenaline pumping through your veins, “We’ve been in here forever,” he whined.
If this was a skinwalker, he was a pretty darn adorable one. And definitely not a hitch-hiking serial killer. At least you hoped. But no, this was a greater form of terror: responsibility.
“Haha, yeah, we have been in here really long, haven’t we? How long do you think we’ve been driving, can you tell me?”
When did you pick up this child. When you got gas in Gallup? Albuquerque? Dear lord, if he’s been in here since Roswell, you’re about to have the world’s biggest headache on your hands, both metaphorically and physically. But there’s no way he’s been in here for fucking 10 hours, right? right??
Okay, okay. Maybe you’re just a little panicky right now and not thinking straight. Maybe teachers hadn’t been making up sleep deprivation just to scare you after all. You have been purposely not drinking anything for the lack of available restrooms. People get dehydration hallucinations, right?
The boy just stared at you, blankly. Probably fully realizing you were a stranger and not whoever he thought you were. In lieu of answering you, he started fidgeting more with the toy bear you had had in the back. You really hoped that hadn’t been what lured him into your station wagon in the first place.
Don’t be getting shy on me now, kid.
You put your blinker on, ready to merge off the road and onto an incoming rest-stop that you thanked your lucky stars for.
“Honey, can you tell me what your phone number is?”
He looked up at you, finally tearing his attention from the bear, and you could see gears turning in his head.
“…435-555-1987?”
You repeated it back to him, and he nodded. Alright, time to find that payphone.
Said rest-stop payphone was thankfully near a picnic table so you could sit him down and be able to watch him carefully the whole time you made this call. Because judging by the fact this situation was happening at all, he was a slippery one.
You got out of the car and opened the back door, but he was hesitant to get out. Which, fair, you are a stranger trying to get him to a second location.
“What’s up, Bud?” you tried your hardest to not sound like a predator but boy was that a real nebulous idea, wasn’t it?
“Fredbear wants to come too,” he mutters.
“Well, sure then, let’s bring him, we’ll have a little picnic.” With no food, but hey, whatever lie it takes to get him sitting on that bench.
It was really cute the way the kid set the bear down on the table and positioned it like they were going to have a picnic together. When you find this kid’s parents, you’ll let him keep Fredbear. Toys like it when they’re given to new children, right? Wasn’t there a movie about that or something. Wincing at the grubbiness of the payphone, you reluctantly dialed the number.
“Hello, Jeff’s Pizza on Main St, are you ready to order?”
You closed your eyes, counting the seconds as you breathed in for 4 seconds, held it for 7, and released for 8.
“Hello? Are you there?”
“Yes!” you practically shouted into the receiver. So much for calming down, “please don’t hang up,” you pleaded.
“Listen, we don’t take solicitation,”
“No, uh, sorry. I’ve found a lost child who told me this was his number. Is the owner of this restaurant by chance frantically looking for their son?”
You heard some muffled conversation happening behind the phone, “Well, no, I don’t even have any kids… and I uh, am currently understaffed. Im the only one here.”
you cursed under your breath.
“Uh, alright, well…” you could tell this was getting really awkward for him.
“Could you tell me where y’all are, I’m unfamiliar with the area code,”
“Uh, Hurricane, Utah?”
… If you weren’t on the phone, you fucking swear you’d be screeching at the top of your lungs like a chimpanzee right now.
“Thank you, you know, just in case he’s just remembering an advertisement he’s seen or something,”
“Oh, okay,” there was a pause, “well I hope you find the parents or, whoever,”
“Thank you,” you’ll put him out of his misery and hang up.
“Are you sure that’s your number, Hon?”
“Uh-huh,”
“Why don’t you tell me it again, maybe I dialed it wrong,”
“435-5--” his face scrunched up in concentration, “435-555—I don’t know…”
You tried not to look visibly stressed at this answer.
“Do you know where you live?”
He moved the bears paws along with whatever little game he was playing, before looking up at you, head tilted in confusion, “Hurricane?”
Okay. Police time. If not for him, for you. The skinwalker possibility just went back up. Because, honestly, he had to have gotten in your car as a coyote or something. No way you wouldn’t’ve noticed a whole ass child entering your car.
“How does ice cream sound, huh Buddy?”
“I want ice cream!” he said hastily as if you’d change your mind if he hesitated.
“Ice cream it is then, but only if you’re good for me and the officers, okay? And tell them everything you can remember. You’re smart, right?”
“Uh-huh,”
“Great,” you smiled over clenched teeth.
After herding him back into the car, you had to take a moment to gently rest your head into the steering wheel. And it took everything within you to not smash said head into it. Or scream in agony. No, no, we mustn’t scare the child.
Tuba City wasn’t too far away. The police station was downtown, as most are. Luckily, across the street there was a paleteria with a courtyard area. The little guy got very excited when you got pulled into the parking space, so eh, what the hell, ice cream first. Maybe after a treat and some playtime in the courtyard he won’t be as wiggly and will be able to tell the cops what he knows about just where the hell he came from.
The noise of the bell chiming made you flinch as you two walked into the paleteria. You hadn’t thought you were that tightly wound right now but apparently you were wrong. The lady behind the counter greeted you warmly, and you responded in turn, trying to play it cool.
God, imagine if she got an off-vibe from you and the kid and called over the police from across the street before you even have a chance—
Deep breath. Okay. The kid you had started referring to in your head as just “Little Boy” was leaned against the display case, his breath fogging up the glass in front of him and probably leaving little handprints for the shopkeeper to clean later.
“I’m sorry about that,”
“That’s… Okay. What can I get you?” she seemed a little confused. Strange, but you brushed past it just as quickly as she did.
“Ah, what do we want?” you asked Little Boy.
He excitedly tugged on your pantleg and pointed to the popsicle he wanted, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. He doesn’t need to convince you, but you quickly realized you were not going to be able to say no to any else after this if he deployed the same cute begging look.
“One of those cute little Tweety Bird faces,” you pointed.
“Anything else?” she handed you the popsicle and you gingerly took it.
“Nah, that’s it” you were too nauseous to eat right now.
You paid, throwing the change into the tip jar, and turned to give Little Boy the popsicle she handed you.  The words caught in your throat as you looked down to find your pantleg absent of any tugging by any Little Boy. You quickly scanned the tiny paleteria. He was nowhere to be found, anywhere in the room.
“Uh, did you see where the kid went?” you tried not to sound too panicked.
She was taken aback, also quickly looking around the room to find no one, before shaking her head, “Did you have a kid with you?”
You furiously nodded in confusion,
“I’m sorry, then I didn’t see them,” she pointed to the glass door that led to the courtyard only a few feet away from y’all, “Try outside, maybe?”
You burst outside, searching the area in a panic, but you couldn’t see him anywhere. Not hidden in the tangle of the garden, not splashing around in the fountain, not at, under, on top of, or around any of the tables.
You went to call his name, but your voice caught in your throat when you realized you didn’t have a name to call. And.
And.
Something hit your shirt. A water droplet. You looked up into the clear, blinding blue sky. Your nerves tickled as another droplet ran down your cheek. Oh, you were crying. Huh.
You took the closet seat you could find, counting the things processed by your 5 senses. It’s all you could do to not start bawling for no reason. Maybe you’ll calm down and be able to think straight soon.
Why can’t you think straight? Everything feels so fuzzy.
You should be terrified, and in a way, you were. In your heart of hearts, you knew the truth: Little Boy wasn’t real. Or at least turned back into a coyote and ran off.
As you stared vacantly into the open air, you realized you still had a dripping popsicle in your hands. Supposedly “Tweety Bird” shaped, it just looked like a yellow skull missing its mandible bone to you. How fitting.
You pulled it to your mouth. Yum. Tasted like AAAAAAAA. Or orange, according to the package.
Attempting to lick the melted yellow liquid off of your hand, you accidentally stuck the ice pop on your face. Great. Now you’re sticky all over.
God, you’ve really gone and lost your fucking marbles this time, haven’t you.
There was a bulletin kiosk a few feet down your field of vision. On that bulletin kiosk was an old poster, barely visible as it was buried under layers of other flyers. It caught your eye and seemed to burn your retinas. What little you could see was the word Freddy and part of what looked like a version of the bear you’d been toting around this whole little expedition, but that was enough.
Something clicked. You looked down at the bear hanging by your side in your other hand. The kid had shoved it into your arms so he could more easily lean on the display case, right before he disappeared the very moment you took your eyes off of him.
You know, you hadn’t really felt alone since bringing Fredbear home. And not in a good way.
Guess the name you should’ve been calling was Freddy.
You had to get rid of that bear.
***
You had been walking home like you always did, same route. But you noticed something peculiar about this time. The house that the old man had his yard sale in was now stripped of all decoration, with a For Sale sign proudly standing in the grass. No cars, and no blinds or curtains on the windows, so you could see into the den which was now devoid of any furniture.
You’ll admit it, you crept around to the other windows, searching for any signs of life at all in the empty rooms. None. No furniture, no people, no trash. The yard sale was yesterday. How did they clean this place out so thoroughly in the short amount of time between when you’d seen it last and now.
A little confuddled, you went home as usual. While strange as hell, this wasn’t a missing person’s case or anything. And it’s probably why the man was so adamant on giving you Fredbear because it was the end of the day. He had a deadline. He was skipping town.
God, you wished you could just skip town.
You frankly thought nothing of it when you unlocked the door to your apartment to see Fredbear was already seated on the couch, like he was all set to marathon whatever 30-year-old cartoon you wound up watching that night. And it’s not like your roommate hadn’t done something like this before, move a stuffed animal or action figure into a funny position for you to find later.
You hadn’t seen him much lately. Or like, at all. The only reason you knew he was still alive were the dirty dishes in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor of the bathroom, and the aforementioned moving the bear around.
Looking back now, was he moving the bear around?
If you locked the deadbolt that can’t be unlocked from the outside, you’d be guaranteed to catch him in person for once. But you weren’t willing to go through the trouble and emotional toil of doing that, however.
In the name of feeling less like a ghost haunting your own home, getting yelled at for intentionally locking your roommate out might be a wee bit counterproductive. Sure, you’d be seen and spoken to, but the harshness of his words and tone would send you into a worse episode than you were already in.
Well, at least Fredbear seemed ready to keep you company tonight...
The fact that they put unskippable advertisements on streaming services you’re paying for in the first place is criminal. Or at least regular cable tv in a trenchcoat.
You got a drink while they prattled on about luxury cars you couldn’t afford and real estate companies you weren’t going to have the privilege of patroning any time soon. Embarrassingly, as you poured the pitcher of water into a glass, you got a little distracted.
The cheap glass’s glass was only about a millimeter or two thick. You could easily just crush this cup in your hand, in one swift movement. The muscles of your arm began tensing up at the thought.
But thankfully, a loud, blaring advertisement coming from the TV snapped you out of it. And so, you promptly decided to Not Do That, because picking all of those tiny glass shards out of your flesh would be a bitch. And that was not how you wanted to spend a perfectly good Sunday night. And of course you didn’t need the questions at work tomorrow.
You returned to the couch, curiously, and you swear, that damn teddy bear followed you with its eyes. Even though they were a shiny, solid black, and the idea itself would be insane.
As you settled back down, you grabbed the remote to turn down the volume of the cheery music playing. Mysteriously, it wasn’t just a commercial with bad sound mixing, the TV itself had been turned up. Now that it had your attention, the thing that was being sold to you seemed to the state of Utah. You know, those Visit [X] ads that were commonly played between cooking shows and ghost hunting documentaries.
“Oh hey, you’re from there, right?” you poked at fredbear. And immediately felt pathetic. God, you’ve got to stop talking to inanimate objects and like get a boyfriend or something. Geez.
The imagery on the screen was just, you know, normal southwest stock footage:
A drone shot of Zion national park
Old men golfing
Owls living in holes they’ve dug into cactuses
Rock archways
A family laughing as they shared a pizza being served to them by a man in a bear suit that looked just fredbear,
“Oh, well there you are, I guess.” you once again absent-mindedly spoke to your toy friend.
Kids swimming in a fancy resort pool
A Navajo cultural event
More rock archways and red sandstone cliffs
Kids crowding around a claw machine filled with toys just like the one sitting next to you
Kids crowding around a stage as an animatronic band played
Kids crowding around a birthday cake, the light of candles bouncing off their faces as they sang along…
The fake sounding voice of the announcer rung out, “Visit Utah! You know the party can’t start without you!”
Your mouth felt dry. Good thing you now had that glass of water.
***
Of course, you did what any smart, sane person would do and feverishly ripped through the layers of old flyers to get to the advertisement for what you now knew was Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place. A themed diner and nickel arcade that made most of their money hosting birthday parties, by the looks of it. You knew the type; you had been an American child once too.
Good thing none of the cops were hanging around outside to fine you for littering, because the amount of paper you just released into the breeze was in fact criminal.
There was a short list of locations at the bottom of the poster. They had a few scattered over Utah, or at least they used to, judging by the harsh weathering of this poster. The closest one being in Bigwater, explaining why this poster was out here in Tuba. But the word Hurricane stood out to you like it was lit up in neon. It burned like sunlight.
It appears you are in fact on your way to Hurricane, Utah. As if you didn’t know that already at this point, you being out on the canyon rim instead of your much preferred and beloved Rockies. Well, congratulations bitch. You’ve only got another three hours to go. Better get going. Have fun!
***
Oh, this place was creepy as hell. Or it’s just late at night, and you’re sleep deprived and paranoid. In the spirit of being honest to yourself, ‘sleep deprived and paranoid’ has always been your natural state of being, but right now it’s definitely ramped up to an eleven.
But even though it’s been close to 48 hours since your last brain-reset, this place still had a certain energy about it. Like New Orleans, or the woods around lynching bridges did. That spooky oh I am Not Safe here type of energy.
The gas station-man gave you a real weird look when you stormed in and asked where the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place was. Normally you would’ve chalked it up to you being a clear foreigner asking for directions as if it’s 1995, to a children’s arcade close to midnight nonetheless, but now you weren’t so sure.
You eyed the fridge full of wine in pint sized bottles and little juice cartons. But nah, you probably needed to have a quick reaction time to whatever was waiting for you in this Venus flytrap you’re willingly walking into. You grabbed a Monster instead and you know what, yeah, that probably wasn’t the best decision either. If you weren’t high strung before, you definitely were now. You felt like you could punch a bear. A Freddy Fazbear.
You bought a local map alongside the energy drink, feeling like you were gonna need it. Man, low-tech was actually kinda annoying after a while. You got the gas station-man to begrudgingly mark Fazbear’s down onto it for you. Apparently, it and all other locations within town had closed down some twenty years ago. Not many people are still around who remember why, he said, but it had something to do with the faulty animatronics. Teenagers told ghost stories and dared each other to spend the whole night in the dining room. But otherwise, beyond the rumors, the original Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place was just an empty, scorched building. And the other various locations like Jr’s or Circus Baby’s had been sold off, passing so many hands who knows what businesses were in there now. But you could still kinda tell, if you paid attention, in the same way you can tell if something used to be a Pizza Hut.
What you really wanted, according to gas station-man, whose nametag read Gary, was this new location that was opening soon, simply named Freddy’s Pizzeria. It’s set to open for business in September, so you’re lucky. He marked it one your map as well.
You don’t know why Gary was so nice to you. Maybe it was the harrowed look in your eyes. Maybe it was the twitchiness. Maybe Gary is just very bored of this tourist town and was looking to fall madly in love with a random troubled soul he met at midnight in a gas station and would wind up running away with to some far-off place. If that was the case, sorry Gary. You were too busy with the metaphorical torture labyrinth to care about romance at the moment.
You couldn’t decide if the haunted Fredbear would want to see an old location or the new one. You asked, but of course the fucker didn’t answer. Just sat there with his smug grin and glassy eyes that followed your hand movements. So, you quite literally tossed a coin. A new mint, the face side had Eleanor Roosevelt on it. And she marked the fact that you were going to try the new location first, and then try the original building next. Cool.
***
Your patience was kinda at its limit here, you’ll admit. You really should get some sleep soon. Or eat. Since you were hellbent on getting here and nothing else, the only thing on your stomach besides that wretched Tweety Bird popsicle is half a monster energy. Guess you’ll go by a fucking Denny’s after this. If you survive.
If you were going to die horrifically, you’d really rather the forces that be make it snappy. This was getting ridiculous.
You pulled into the parking lot. The building clearly wasn’t new but had been freshly painted. Nothing creepy so far. As you stared down the building, sizing it up, you noticed there was one car parked in the front, and a few of the windows were lit up.
Cool, so there was someone in there. Great. That makes, well whatever this is, much harder.
The door was locked.
You could hear music playing from inside. You banged on the door as loudly as you could manage, and it still took a couple of minutes before the music stopped. And then a very disgruntled man in coveralls was in the doorway, tiredly asking just what the fuck you wanted at this time of night.
He smiled to cover up his rudeness, but the smile stretched a little too wide, inhumanly wide, and a shiver ran down your spine.
You took him in, unashamedly raking your eyes over his form. He stood awkwardly, as if ready to bolt at any moment. What you could see of his build made him out to be weirdly skinny. That unnaturally wide smile gave way to some exposed teeth on the left side of his face. His eyes were shadowed by his bangs in the backlight of the door, but you swore they almost glowed themselves. His complexion was greyish and bordered on almost purple in this lighting.
Despite all this, he was still pretty handsome. Well, you did always think some of those creepypasta guys were boyfriend material. Maybe, you wouldn’t mind getting chopped up into little pieces if this guy was the one doing it. Okay, and maybe you’ve been sleeplessly chasing ghosts too long.
Startling you, he reached his hand to grab your shoulder, a little too fast.
“Hey mate, are you okay?” He asked nervously,
It snapped you out of your stupor, realizing you had yet to say a word to him, “Uh, yes, I just wanted to…”
How do you even fucking ask this. “Hey, can I bring a stuffed bear to your dining room so maybe it’s spirit will leave me alone? Maybe conduct a séance or something?” Seriously, did you even know what you were doing here? Shit. Okay.
“I wanted to ask if I could check out your facility?” came out like a question because even you had no clue what you were saying.
“Come back tomorrow in the daylight, then,” he began closing the door, shaking his head in annoyance, “or perhaps when we’re actually open.”
“NO!” you slammed your foot into the door as he closed it, “AAGH!”
“Jesus Christ! WHY.”
Dear lord, this man now 100% thinks you’re a crackhead.
“Just, don’t close that door, okay,” his brows scrunched together as you grit your teeth to swallow down the pain, “I need you to help me.”
“I really don’t have any money to spar--”
“I’M HERE BECAUSE OF A GHOST,” you interrupted. Finally, you managed to get that out somehow, if nonsensical.
A look of recognition flickered in his glowing eyes. He lowered into your space, kind of intimidatingly. Or intimately. Yeah, no, this was hostile, don’t fool yourself.
“What kind of ghost,” he asked suspiciously.
“Uh,” shit, okay, “the weird, haunted doll kind? Uh, like the ones the McElroy brothers are always bidding on on eBay. Or maybe this is kind of a Ben Drowned kinda situation, I’m not completely sure.”
He blinked, “okay, I only understood a few of those words, but—”
“It’s a Freddy teddy bear that really wanted me to take it to Hurricane, okay?” You really were at the end of your rope at the moment, “I have literally driven here for days straight on no sleep and barely any food and I need this Unauthorized Fucking Thing to find it’s eternal peace or kill me in some horrible way so I can hurry up and get on with my goddamn life,”
“Uh, see… the thing is,” he started to retreat back again, slowly moving his hands like he was trying to calm down a spooked animal.
 You realized what was about to happen, and it must have been visible in your eyes, since his huge unnatural placating smile returned,
“I actually don’t want anything to do with that, sooo…”
“PLEASE—” you reached out in blind panic, but he dodged it. (now if only you could’ve dodged the scooper like that Mikey)
The door slammed in your face.
Your breathing was ragged and fogged up the glass as he locked it again. You stared up at those glowing pinprick pupils of his as he gave you an apologetic little wave goodbye. And then he fucking made a big show of pointing at the closed sign before turning tail to disappear back into the darkness of the empty restaurant.
Okay.
Just a little setback. You’ll go to the older location first, now, and come back when this asshole is sleeping. Can’t be too hard to bust out one of those windows, and you doubt he has an alarm set up already. It’s his fault, really. If he didn’t want property damage, then he should’ve just let you in. Not like you haven’t warned him that you were desperate or anything.
Just gonna go to the other location. You’ve got your map, you’ve got a tank full of gas, and you’ve got chutzpah.
Now what you don’t have? Is a car that will start.
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elequinoa · 1 year
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Coming Soon: Little Merfolk on Meiker 😘
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poppyseed799 · 10 months
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btw I don’t know if this is a thing anyone is thinking about but I’m not gonna stop drawing Jimmy as a canary. It’s a lovely bird. It’s still something that’s been really important to his series. There’s no reason to drop the canary headcanon just cuz Lizzie fell into the void.
#warning: don’t open up these tags I went on a very heated and rather unrelated rant cuz I’ve been mad#trafficblr#life series#secret life spoilers#secret life smp#jimmy solidarity#also I’m sick of seeing ppl celebrate Jimmy surviving because they hate the canary curse fans like SHUT UP!!! LET US HAVE FUN GOD!!!#LIKE LITERALLY EVEN IF NOBODY CAME UP WITH THE CANARY METAPHOR WE WOULD STILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW HES ALWAYS DYING OK WE DIDNT MAKE UP THAT#HE DIES FIRST HE JUST DOES. GOD. so what if some people make shakespeare sounding posts about the curse that I don’t understand. we are JUST#having fun and making connections where we don’t need to BECAUSE ITS FUN. NOT CUZ WE DONT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. sorry for the past few#days I’ve been genuinely mad at this fandom’s growing hatred towards its own community.#LIKE IM FINE IF ITS NOT YOUR THING BUT GOD. WE ARENT EVEN DOING ANYTHING 😭😭😭 THE LORE LITERALLY WRITES ITSELF OR IS WRITTEN BY MARTYN LOL#I’ve just been getting SO TILTED man. like ohhh yeah okay ur right i said too much guess I won’t say anything anymore#does anyone else genuinely not know wtf ppl are talking about when they say a certain hc takes over everything about the character#cuz I literally see so much varied Jimmy content yet I’ve seen several ppl complain that ppl ignore aspects of his character in favor of#WHATEVER when I literally don’t see that happening to him. step out of ur circle or something I don’t even HAVE a circle man
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carcarrot · 4 months
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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killuaisaprincess · 6 months
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Everyone always whines and cries how everyone ignores G//on
AND IF YOU DARE TO BRING UP KIS TRAMUA THEY ARE LIKE BUT WHAT ABOUT G
What about g KIS FANS ARE ANNOYING THEY SAY
Omg WHAT ABOUT G
MEANWHILE BACK WHEN I WAS ON A BLOCKING SPREE ALL I EVER SEE IS ANALYSIS POSTS ECT ABOUT G G AND HIM AND HIS TRAMUA AND THE BOTH TOGETHER MAYBE BUT KI ALONE MAYBE 1
SO I DO NOT EVEN WANNA HEAR IT
AND LET KI FANS CARE ABOUT KI
JUST LIKE U CARE ABOUT G
Stg these people wanna act like Ki’s life is so easy and CAA wasn’t hard on Ki CUZ WHAT ABOUT G
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popsicle-stick · 11 months
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wanna make a folk costumes of britain zine sooo fuckign bad.........
#folk traditions/music/dance/costume in england in /particular/ are so deeply repressed & mocked and ignored /within/ england#i listened to an interesting podcast examining the english folk music tradition and#how we as english lost something of ourselves in the plundering of others for empire and the incessant rise of industrialisation#however. there is still so much there. so many interesting traditions. so much oral history. so many regional variations#and if you live here it's here for anyone and everyone to take. it's yours!!!!!#waiting for you to find it if you only look for it. if you want it#anyway this was spurred by reading some american say their family was english on both sides and thus had no culture to feel tied to#which made me so sad because it's not true at all. there is always big tescos. (joke)#but fr wym 'no english culture' what is my ultraspecific interest then. lol#there is of course also a very pervading connection of english folk tradition with whiteness which we must both examine and break#because what is a folk tradition if it becomes the preserve of a very narrow demographic? folk means people.#it's of the people and that's all of us here and we must make it open if people so choose to take it#however that is a tag essay for another day and for obvious reasons i can only word things clumsily and do not have the right perspective#anyway once again this was a very long tag essay on my very specific interests. apologies#what it means to be 'from england' with everything that entails is endlessly complex and i think abt it all the time#wow these tags are barely related to the post anymore#is this like. a reasonable and normal post to make i dont even know anymore
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infizero · 2 years
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showing my growth by rejecting the “every ship gets happily married and becomes wonderful parents to lovely children” mindset and admitting that many pairings should just not be parents
#long gone are my days of woobifying shadow and sanitizing sonadow down to aw cute hedgehogs and one of them is traumatized#they are RIVALS and shadow will never be that lovey dovey with sonic even if they have been dating for 30 years thats just not who he is#they can find happiness/contentment in each other like i imagined but that sprinkle of toxicity would never rlly go away#and again even if theyre perfectly happy existing like that. not a good environment for a kid!#i dont even imagine them getting married anymore like i still like my idea of the ''cat orphanage w a chao garden'' house that they live in#but they wouldnt be married. they'd be partners and sonic would live there. but he'd ''live there'' in the same way he lives with tails#in that. its a place to come back home to when needed but a lot of the time hes just elsewhere exploring and having adventures and stuff#and shadow would probably tag along on a lot of these adventures. but not all of them#also feeds into part of my idea for the future which has always been present which is just. sonic being romantically involved w a couple#other ppl (knuckles for example)#those relationships dont have a label theyre just friends and then sometimes theyll kiss or go on dates or something#he and shadow are partners. thats concrete. everything else is just fluid/undefined (also should clarify that this is in like a poly way lol#shadow is aware of these relationships and has no problem with them and sonic knows that)#anyways i didnt mean to ramble but i have been thinking about this recently#how i'd modify my older idea of sonadow in the future#thats the end. ps once again promoting the poly sonic agenda. if you look at him and you dont think hes poly. youre just wrong im sorry#(excluding aroace sonic enjoyers for obvious reasons lol)#serena.txt
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apathyfairy · 15 days
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me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money
me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend
#i want a corn dog so bad rn#ngl u guys im actually really struggling with turning 30 at the end of the year lmao#not lmao bc it really is bothering me which is so stupid i know I Know#but. and i know we're All struggling with this. but it's like god i have done nothing with my life#like fr. everyone says that but i literally have done nothing. ive never had a real 9-5 ive been freelancing since college#and tbh i guess that's not a bad thing? but self worth wise i feel like a complete loser.#but ive just made one mistake after another and i know that's what your 20s are for and u know what this is my tags and im not going#to keep contradicting myself i feel like shit bc i feel like shit and ive wasted my whole life thats that#i just feel like such a sham like i cant believe this is what 30 is like i on god feel like im still a teenager#not in a carefree kind of way OBVIOUSLY. which i never was anyway. but i just ?? feel like that#scary fucking episode of rugrats where tommy and chuckie become their dads and they go to work and theyre so fucked up bc#well theyre babies and they dont know anything. and even the fact that i just referenced rugrats to explain how i feel lmaooooo#relationship wise well u guys know how that is. and i truly couldnt care less about what people think about me not being in a relationship#ever and tbqh i dont give a fuck anymore either like. and here i go bringing this up again. but after my ex im like ok life truly is so#short fr i dont even care like anyway. anyway. the point is there is just no reality whatsoever where i pictured my life where i am now#once again living with the abusive relative i moved across the ocean to get away from.#no love life to speak of. fr dont care but god wouldnt it be nice to be loved fr.....#no career. living in a state i hate with all my heart. barely surviving money wise. which is everyone rn but#if i had known 10 years ago this would be my life i would have honestly killed myself.#like if i knew it would all turn out like this i wouldnt have moved i wouldve just fr killed myself and i wish i did lol#to be fair. i didnt see myself living past 18 but like. i just thought something would have saved me by now
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oooooo please tell me (who knows nothing on the subject) about orv swap au
hehehe. hehehehehehe. hehehehehehehhehehehhheheheh <- guy who is so normal
the premise of orv swap au (name has yet to be finalized) is this: what if kdj and yjh swapped narrative positions (reader <-> character) but very little else? what if a video game player enters a time loop to save his favorite character from dying over and over again and also to end the apocalypse?
admittedly it's not super fleshed out yet (a lot of the changes this premise would introduce are still not hammered out yet) but here are some points under the cut (novel spoilers ahead!)
orv swap au starts with pro gamer yjh who feels :/ abt his job, but hey, it pays the bills. despite (or maybe because of) his relative popularity as a pro gamer and networking with the agency/sponsors/people to impress, he's kind of isolated in a way that's detrimental, a facade of someone he's not whenever he's on camera
something to play around with is the idea of agency? maybe this yjh doesn't feel like he has any and has his hands tied between the lifestyle and being under public scrutiny and not having enough of a support system to leave everything behind. maybe he doesn't know what else he would even do. maybe he's aimless and drifting with nothing to hold on to.
his favorite video game is what i've been thinking of as World's Hardest To Play Indie Game (not based on difficulty but just on the experience of consuming it) a boring, exposition heavy, player-hostile, poorly designed, slightly buggy mess of a barely-playable game: twsa, a game that was not finished upon release and experiences with sporadic updates every now and then.
the ending tree to this game is so convoluted its insane. also theres no save states so if you die (very likely) u restart babeyyy.
twsa (video game) does have multiple endings, all of which happen when kdj, your main character, dies. some are farther into the apocolypse than others, some paths require meta knowledge of future events or character actions or items or whatever. the "true ending" is either analogous to the original 1863: kdj makes it to the end at the cost of everyone he loves, or hsy's modified 1863: kdj makes himself enemy of the scenario to secure a way out for the kimcom remnants.
there's branches on the choices tree where everyone dies and everything sucks and is bad forever and theres choices to make where kdj gets to make a family and they don't really get to settle down but they can get pretty close to it among the ruins of the apocalypse. through all his testing, yjh finds that these endings are nice but peter out - to get to the end of the apocalypse yjh has to claw his way there inch by painful inch, through betrayal and sacrifice, and he still cant fully get past it
i originally wanted to finagle a yoohankim 3 way swap but i couldn't figure it out. swap aus are a lot easier to work with when they're even numbers, at least to me, so this au features a ysa who is a video game company employee by day and by night she really has become god this time (and also a terrible indie dev). and this is how jungdoksang can still win !!!!
also yjh's coworker from Real Life hsy :) i haven't decided if she's like an employee for the same agency, or if she's someone else in the gaming circles that yjh interacts with sometimes (in my heart theyre in like some sort of discord server together), or something like that but she's around. whatever she does she is twitter cancelled for something. to me.
the only other character swaps are lsk and yma. yma is yjh's estranged sister (in broad strokes there's a vague bad parent situation going on here) (they used to be close until they drifted apart and slowly started hating each other [there is an abyss between them that neither of them can bridge]) (he feels that she betrayed him and threw him under the bus so he left [maybe he gets kicked out]) (she feels that he abandoned her to whatever situation they have going on [he didn't even try to take her with him]) and he has to find her when the apocalypse starts. yjh older sibling to yma gives us a whole different little dynamic to explore from kdj ysk (there's different levels of responsibility and guilt and blame when you're talking siblings that are soooooo interesting to me. sorry that i see any set of siblings and immediately try to figure out how to make them worse)
lsk is kdj's mom who appeared into existence at some point with kdj and they were both just adults. that's weird isn't it. oh well. i guess she can become a transcendent later too for funsies
everyone else stays in the same configuration of Real Person vs Character to me this is a very important aspect
this point has no precedent with the swap, nothing particular that would change to cause this, but it would be so funny if lgy was a little gamer boy who is an avid yjh hater. hates that guy. shows up to competitions to boo him. tunes into yjh's silent no-mic speedrunning streams to mald in chat but yjh +mods don't ban him bc its kinda funny.
anyways the apocalypse starts when yjh and his coworker/fellow gamer hsy are on a train to twitchcon and lgy is also there (also headed to twitchcon) and he brings bugs because he likes them but also to sabotage yjh specifically. its just funny if this happened. you understand
instead of having reader-related skills and abilities, yjh's skills are video game player based! he gets flavor text insight on people, location, and items, things like that. notably, he has the ability to reset, to bring himself back to the beginning of the apocalypse
orv swap proper follows yjh as the Player of the Game (Consumer of the Narrative) who lives hundred of lifetimes in this ruined-world-become-reality "replaying" [read: time looping through] the game to reshape it to save his fave character from self implosion (kdj with no dissociation is very prone to dying. all the time.). to revisit the idea of playing with yjh and the idea of agency, of creation, the only way to get past the apocalypse is to go off the beaten path, to choose options that weren't even there in the game. when in space, at his darkest point, yjh becomes a writer. in this story, at his darkest point, he has to become a creator too
please do not ask me how the epilogues go i dont know how the epilogues go (i don't want to throw yjh back into a train for milennia after he Just went through a thousand resets so i'm sending kdj for that but i havent fully planned how or why)
anyways, hope that helps!!! :)
#orv au#orvswap#i think i will main tag this. just the one tag tho. poorly planned au be upon ye.#orv#orv spoilers#<- for blacklists!#i only realized after creating this au that this is just how p//mmm goes except its videogame themed and hater lgy is there lol#anyways wheres that post that says time loops are about tragedy and theyre about saying i will make this right#and secret third thing time loops are about love#also each individual dynamic for the creater-player-character triangle in this is so interesting to me to explore like#you have the new kdj-yjh one (mostly similar tbh. was the crux of the au after all) which is a fun space to play in#but then you have a brand new kdj-ysa one to work with which is !!!! a writer and her character. a creator and her creation#and then you have ysa-yjh as the creator and her audience of 1!!!!!!! where is yjh that he needs to be saved? how does ysa answer that call#to love to the point of creation.... to tear the world asunder..... to create the worlds most unplayable rpg.......#lets meet again in another life. ysa reaches out toward yjh but cant reach him before she wakes up. cant quite tell him its not his fault#and Dont Even get me Started on yoo sister dynamics ill go insane#because theyre siblings but for a while (and def at the beginning of the story) it hurts to be around each other (its a betrayal#its a pang in your chest its a you were supposed to protect me and you were supposed to love me and i dont even know you anymore)#but also the swap means the 4th wall eats yma and leaves yjh begging for her back ('dont you hate her?' 'shes my little sister'#which is neither agreement nor denial but also both at once)#its ya boi#tango mango#anyways thanks for the ask im very normal about the ask
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sparkleyiff · 2 months
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Not sure if I'll be doing anything more for artfight this year I am. suffering. sorry :(
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bmpmp3 · 4 months
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finished up that Yume no Tobira cover with the VirVox dudes i was working on! It took me so long to balance the audio levels and make the video that Voicevox had a major update between me starting and finishing LOL
#vocal synth cover#voicevox#voicevox humming#voicevox song#? i dont know which one is the official name for the singing function orz#kurono takehiro#aoyama ryuusei#shirakami kotarou#wakamatsu akashi#kigashima sourin#virvox project#lotta dudes. lotta dudes to tag. and we dont even have takuto here (mostly because he doesnt have any synths yet rip)#i like this cover. it was kind of a nightmare to mix <3 like all vocal synthesizers voicevox has engine noise#and specifically its own engine noise is fascinating because if ur not careful while mixing 2 or more vocal tracks together#they will. combine the noise. and the noise will get louder. and louder#I REDUCED IT best i could with an equalizer but its still there LOL which i dont mind im just glad its not splitting ur eardrums anymore#and lemme tell u. i know everyones excited about the new pitchbending update and i am too but also#i am SO MUCH more excited about how well theyve fixed the volume issues LOL you can hear it here sometimes these dudes#(outside of takehiro...he is loud <3 ) just get like too quiet or too loud#i didnt feel like cutting together a bunch of takes at different range levels so i just found a decent middle ground#but now we no longer have these problems so aggressively...this does mean i need to restart some covers i was already working on#but thats okay its not like this one where i was already done and its worth it...for consistent volume <3 <3 <3#but yeah im still happy with this cover. i think its very cute hbkjfdljfdd#Youtube
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everythingsinred · 10 months
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Hello! I have been reading your GA analyzes and I really liked them very much, which is why I wanted to ask you about a specific part, which is in chapter 26 of the manga when Mikan, after dancing with several people, ends up in front of Natsume and they stare at each other. At that moment Mikan says something like "am I the only person he refuses to dance with?" and after looking at each other for another while Natsume ends their battle by asking another girl (I think older) for a dance and leaves.
That moment surprised me because that didn't happen in the anime so I wanted to ask you if that means that Natsume has already danced with other girls before, cause of Mikan's comment and him leaving with another girl (he is so introverted that I was very surprised that he actually danced with other people at an event like this) Also I remember that at the first Christmas party that we see in the manga, some boys comment that Natsume had already kissed other girls before and then Mikan asks him about this again later but the translation that I read is a little strange so I never I understood Natsume's answer if he really did it or not.
What do you think of all this?
Hi hi! I'm so happy you like my essays! It makes my day to see positive feedback <3
This answer got lengthy so the full thing is under the cut!
The discrepancy between anime and manga is very interesting, which is why I really appreciate when people read the manga from the beginning instead of picking up where the anime left off, since there are some major differences, including, like you said, how the dance chapter goes.
In the anime, Mikan is not only way more tolerant of Natsume's behavior, she's also very friendly with him from the beginning in a way she definitely is not in the manga. She goes out of her way to seek Natsume out by the woods to ask him to dance with her, only to see he's absolutely uninterested in the party as a whole. He never dances with anyone, let alone with her.
The manga is different in many ways. Firstly, Mikan has vocally dismissed any romance between her and Natsume in front of the whole class, taking her anger out on him even though she was angry at his fangirls gossiping about her, not about anything he did. This actually hurts his feelings!!
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He gets grumpy! By the time Mikan finds him on the dance floor, it can be implied by the "Don't tell me I'm the only one he refuses to dance with!" line that he has been dancing with other girls, maybe to spite her. He walks off with another girl right in front of Mikan and it sorta seems like she's jealous as she watches him walk off.
I do think he has been dancing with other girls, but not because he really wants to or enjoys it, since--as you said--he's pretty introverted and negative and doesn't really actively participate in school events. To me, this was all done out of spite, dancing with girls in front of Mikan in a childish way to get back at her, but he quickly gets tired of it, as we can see, because soon after that he's by the woods by himself again, and Mikan only runs into him on her way back from the bathroom, not because she's actively looking for him.
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Earlier that day, Mikan had said, "I would never dance with Natsume!" and then he holds her to it by dancing with every girl besides her. It definitely feels like spite.
After all, when the Christmas ball rolls around, Natsume spends most of his time in the tree, by himself, only coming down for his duties as a principal student at the beginning and when the cake is served. Ruka ropes him into dancing with Mikan then, but that's not planned. He doesn't even have a mask at any point, so he definitely wasn't intending to stick around on the dance floor. I'm pretty sure Mikan is the only person he dances with that night, and if Mikan hadn't said anything for the dance party during the culture fest, I don't think he would've danced with anybody then either. He doesn't really like socializing much so he avoids it when he can.
As for the kiss...
Scans for Chapter 50 (the kiss chapter) can be very iffy. I understand being confused by some translations! I can clarify, though!
At the beginning of the chapter, Natsume and Mikan have just had an accidental kiss and everyone cheers Natsume on because he tells her she's a bad kisser. I guess saying that implies that he's done it before, and then more boys chime in saying Natsume has probably kissed lots of girls before.
Natsume's (boy) fans have a consistently macho view of Natsume, that he's a "man's man" and much more mature than the rest of them because of how cool and knowledgeable he acts. They cheer him on in the dodgeball chapter and in the labyrinth chapter after he harasses Mikan, all because they misinterpret his actions as "experienced". The boys in this chapter conclude Natsume must have kissed before because Natsume is cool. They never witnessed anything that suggests that. It's just an assumption.
And they're wrong.
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It's kind of a blink-and-you'll-miss-it thing, but Natsume saying "Huh, so that's what kissing is like," is supposed to tell us (and Mikan) that the experience his fans cheered him over was invented. That was his first kiss too.
When Mikan demands answers about this before the kiss in the tree, Natsume avoids answering. At some point she says, "I've heard you've kissed other girls before!" (because she's jealous) and Natsume replies, "Girls like you..." (answering her question that it's just her) only to finish with "... are not good enough for Ruka," (because he's silly).
He's a little ambiguous about it, I think, because he doesn't want to let on to Mikan that their accidental kiss was a big deal to him too. He even tries downplaying it after their kiss in the tree because he doesn't want to give away how important it was to him. He, as a character, is all about hiding, sadly!
Additionally, we know that Natsume has never been in love before, canonically, because of how he reacts to the human pheromone alice. In Chapter 2, I think, Misaki-sensei says that kids who are unfamiliar with romantic love mainly pass out when Narumi uses his alice, because of how overwhelming it is, and Natsume passes out twice in the first few chapters so we can see that he is not familiar with romantic love.
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But then, when he accidentally swallows a pheromone chocolate on Valentine's Day, he reacts by hugging Tsubasa, not with passing out, implying that he's now familiar enough with romantic love to have an actual reaction beyond passing out.
Not having experience with love doesn't necessarily mean he's never kissed somebody, of course, but I feel that Natsume's introversion would make him uninterested in kissing or dancing until he meets Mikan and develops real feelings for someone. He never flirts with his fangirls and can actually be rather cruel to them, especially early on with Sumire.
In fact, they only start flocking to him the way they do in Chapter 26 because the aura around him has "softened," and Sumire says they used to stay away out of fear. He seems kinder now, thanks to Mikan and thanks to his performance as a cat in the play, so the girls feel more comfortable approaching him to ask him to dance. That's further evidence he hasn't really been very into dancing or flirting prior to Mikan entering the academy.
This was all very long winded, but in short, no I don't think Natsume usually partakes in kissing or dancing. I think Chapter 26 is the exception for dancing because he wanted to spite Mikan, but he quickly got bored of it and left to be on his own anyway, and Chapter 50 is the first time he's ever kissed anybody.
Thank you so much for asking! If you have any other musings or thoughts or questions, please let me know! This was a treat to answer!
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the-kipsabian · 1 year
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another blog gone from my dash
i dont know whats happening anymore and its infuriating
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