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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years

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Worth It

Hello, I’m back for Day 3, a secret relationship. I’m so happy that you guys liked the first prompt, despite the angst lol. This one here isn’t angsty at all, there’s my usual favoured fluff involved, with some Serious Conversations.

Anyway, enjoy!! :)

1.9k words

cw: none

Aelin's mind was buzzing, torn between happiness and nervousness. That was all she could feel ever since the pregnancy test revealed the positive sign over an hour ago and she had just been staring at it since then, wearing nothing but her underwear and one of her favourite hoodies that she had stolen from Rowan long ago.

She and Rowan had talked about children, but had decided that it would be best to have them once things weren't so...complicated. When Aelin would get another job, because all over Rifthold, secretary positions were being offered, but no positions in Rowan's level were being offered.

Because Rowan was her boss, and she was his secretary. And at Havilliard Accounting Firm, office relationships were off the table. If anyone was found out to be in a relationship, it was straight to the HR office for a scolding and a firing; and that the was the absolute last thing that either of them wanted, and since Rowan was her superior, she feared of what would happen to him. Their relationship was equal, there was no manipulation from either side, both of them wanted the relationship and so they decided to be in one.

So Rowan and Aelin dated in secret, keeping their romantic and personal lives out of their professional lives. Which was hard at times, considering that they lived together, and sometimes it was hard to keep a straight face when an unresolved argument was hovering above them, so they had to repeat to themselves about professionalism and boundaries until it was time to go home and fix what problem they were facing at that time.

Aelin hated it, and so did Rowan. It made them feel dirty, like there was something wrong between them, when that was the furthest thing from the truth. When Aelin had first started on the job, she didn't think that she would be with Rowan—honestly, she thought that he was a bit of a bastard, but she got to know him, and found that they had many things in common, and slowly, so slowly, Aelin started to see Rowan in a different light, and when she looked back at that time, she came to the realisation that Rowan had felt the same, that the look he held in his eyes for her were the same as back then.

And once that shared attraction made its appearance, they had fought their feelings for so long, up until a year and a half ago when they had ran into each other at the State Museum on the weekend, had lunch together at the museum cafe and things just went from there.

They made it work, despite the secrecy of it all. Only a few of their friends knew and they promised to keep it to themselves. Absolutely none of the few Whitethorn cousins that worked in the same building knew, as they were complete busybodies and would tell everyone, not at all caring about the circumstances.

None of Aelin's work friends knew either. All they knew was that she was single and not looking for a relationship, that she was focusing on herself before she made any commitments; Rowan had told his work friends something similar.

At first, the secrecy of it all was exciting, like something straight out of the romance novels she adored, but a year and a half later, when they talked about marriage and Aelin had even told him the type of engagement ring she would like, it was becoming tiresome. Aelin just wanted the whole world to know of her love with Rowan, but so far, that was not to be.

Sighing, she wondered back to the now. She supposed she could say that it was the result of a one night stand, but it felt cruel to reduce Rowan to nothing as if was a stranger she fell into bed with and was nothing but a quick fuck after one too many drinks.

Besides, once she had the baby, it would be obvious who the father was. Silver hair and green eyes were dominate in the Whitethorn family, and the chances of her having a silver-haired, green-eyed child was high—it wouldn't take more than two seconds to figure out who the father was, especially if the child inherited Rowan's tanned skin and straight nose.

If the child inherited Aelin's fair skin, her ocean blue eyes, and button nose, however, it might be easier to come up with some story about how someone in Aelin's family had silver hair.

But Aelin didn't want to lie. Didn't want to pass off their child as someone else's.

According to the test, she was seven weeks along, and she was all ready exhausted.

The jingle of keys had Aelin's head snapping up from her seat in the living room, the pregnancy test heavy in her hand.

It was time to tell him. She had to leave work two hours into the day when she was overcome with nausea, and he had kept it professional when he wished her well, but she spotted in the concern in his eyes as he silently asked her if she was okay. Later on, he had texted her, asking if she needed anything from the shops, but she didn't.

Aelin told him she was fine, but now...now she was nervous. Not at all because of Rowan's reaction, but just because of their damned circumstances.

She had never hated the secrecy more until now.

But Aelin made herself smile as he made his way over to her, kissing her on the forehead and asking if she was okay again, once more asking her if she needed him to get her anything. Taking a deep breath, and telling herself that everything would be okay, she clutched the stick in her hand and told him to sit down. He did, his brows furrowed as he looked at her.

Wordlessly, Aelin handed over the test. Rowan took it from her outstretched hand, his eyes wide as he glanced at her, to the test, and then back to her.

“You're pregnant?” he asked, his voice a breathless rush.

Aelin could only nod.

“Fireheart, that's...” he trailed off, Aelin's heart near bursting out of her chest as she waited for his next words, she knew that they'd be positive, but still. Rowan smiled, and it was the most beautiful thing Aelin had ever witnessed. “This is amazing.”

“It is?” The words fell out of her mouth of their own accord. Clearly, she wasn't listening to herself.

Rowan sensed her unease and took her hands in his own, kissing her knuckles as he did. “I know that we've talked about having children later on, but I couldn't be more happy.”

Nodding, Aelin took a deep breath. She was excited too, despite everything. Which was why she said, without a hint of doubt, “I'll hand in my two week notice once I pass the first trimester.”

“Fireheart, I can't ask you to do that,” Rowan said, clutching her hand. “I'll ask for a transfer, and you can stay until you go on maternity leave, and if you still want to quit afterwards and look for work elsewhere, then I'll help you, but you've worked too hard to quit now.”

“Everyone thinks I'm single, Rowan, and I don't want to come up with a horrid about one night stands. We're all ready lying, and I don't want to add more to the pile.”

“The transfer—” Rowan started, but Aelin cut him off.

“You'll just be in a different building, but the company policies will still stand. I know what you're thinking, that in the future I'll resent you and that I'll blame you for making me quit, but I won't. I'm sick of lying, and I know you are too—it's been a year and a half of lies, and with this child are we going to extend that lie for another eighteen years? What if the child is a carbon copy of you? Then all the lies will blow up in our faces. I know you don't think it is, but this is the best option.” Part of her did want to stay, to utilise her maternity leave, but Rowan could be fussy, especially when she wasn't feeling well and if Rowan started fussing over his pregnant secretary then the questions would start flying.

Rowan sighed and was quiet for a long while. “I'm sorry,” he said eventually, “about the lying. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish that you didn't think you had to quit, but I understand why.” Again, he hated the whole expandable aspect of it all—but annoyingly, it made more financial sense for Rowan to stay and for Aelin to leave.

Rowan really did hate it, but Aelin had clearly made up her mind, and would not change her mind, she was stubborn.

“I know, but Rowan, I don't regret being with you, not for a moment. I just want to start this journey on a more joyful road. I love you, to whatever end.”

Rowan smiled softly at her, his worries easing away just a little bit at their words—their promise to each other. “To whatever end. We'll figure it out.”

“We will.” Deciding that she wanted to be wrapped in his arms, Aelin snuggled against him, breathing in his pine and snow scent, she was close to drifting off, when Rowan cleared his throat. Glancing up at him, he had a smile on his face, and an unreadable look in his eyes. “What?”

“I suppose now would be a horrible time to propose?”

Sitting back in a blink of an eye, Aelin crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. “Rowan Whitethorn, if you propose to me while I'm wearing this shitty old hoodie, I swear to the gods, I will singe off your eyebrows right now.”

“So that's a no?” He asked, his lips twitching, eyes swimming with barely concealed mirth at her. Her own lips wanted to rise in a smile, but she slammed it down.

“It's a no for now. I want to be wearing a nice dress, eating good food—but not in a crowd, you know I hate crowd proposals—with a pretty view—”

“I thought that I was the pretty view?” Rowan interrupted, laughing at the glare Aelin sent his way.

“And I forgot the rest of what I was going to say, but I am not being proposed to on a sofa.”

“Okay, no sofa proposals, I can remember that.”

“Good,” Aelin muttered and returned to his arms. They spoke of their future, of their baby and a list of potential names.

X X X X X X

Rowan proposed six months later at the beach, three months to the day that she had quit, with work being none the wiser, until recently, and they got off scott-free since Aelin was no longer employed there. The sky was a beautiful canvas of pink and peach, the only sounds the crashing of the waves, with no people around.

The ring was the exact one she had picked out long ago—a sparkly emerald with size of her fingernail on a gold band.

And it was exactly as she wished it, her in a nice sundress, with good food and ever-growing pretty views.

Having a secret relationship for a year and a half was exhausting, but well worth it in the end.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #fluff #my work

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wolf-queer-discourse · 3 years

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Adventures in Aphobia #3

My last two Adventures in Aphobia both took on similar flavors of eye-rolling at shameless, obvious bigotry to anyone willing to look or care. But today, I found a different type of aphobia, and I’m actually eager to talk about this one. Have a read of this first.

Look, the bar of respect for ace people is so low it’s all the way in hell, but I mean, to many people, especially allosexual people, they may look at this post and think, “No, this isn’t aphobia. The poster wasn’t blatantly cruel.” But what some fail to realize is that politeness can be the thinnest of veils over the ugliest of takes. Polite bigotry gaslights the victims into thinking they can’t be upset about this.

So what’s the deal with this post?

PARAGRAPH #1 starts off innocently enough, saying ace discourse wouldn’t exist if people recognized complex relationships to sex and relationships. Even taken on its own, I do not agree with this. Ace discourse ranges all the way from outright denial of asexual existence to the strong hatred for and exclusion of aces from the queer community. Nearly everyone recognizes people have complex relationships to sex...that...that doesn’t mean ace people won’t be discriminated against. In fact, it’s an argument aphobes use constantly to try and gaslight ace people into erasing themselves. Ace discourse comes from a lot of places, but at the end of the day, it all stems from people’s refusal to acknowledge ace people and their unique experiences. This poster absolutely does not get to say “IT’s CoMpLicAteD”, and expect ace people to just disappear. Honestly, it’d be better and more honest if they said “Lol, ace people should go fuck themselves and hop to the back of the line with everyone else.”

PARAGRAPH #2 and #3 are not very objectionable on their own. Everything said is true. Society has very complicated views on sex, and life happens to all people. The ugly part of this is that the poster is setting up an argument here in which they will hand wave ace people into the “everyone else” crowd and pretend as if we’re all just too similar and no labels should even exist.

This is literally what enby-phobes do. They say “Well, gender is COMPLICATED”, which is true, but then they say “So like...aren’t we all really nonbinary when we think about it? Why should enby people label themselves?” I swear we’ve all seen this. The poster is agender. This argument could easily be whipped in their face. Different forms of bigotry can share very clear overlaps, and it’s very important to acknowledge where these arguments come from and why they exist. It exists as a way to shut people up. It happens to bi people too! Every day, people come out as bi and someone tells them “pff, everyone thinks girls are hot. I had a crush on my best friend once, that doesn’t mean I’m not straight! All people are like this!” Let’s call out this erasure where we see it. It’s not the same thing, and if anyone saying stuff like this truly believes what they’re saying, maybe they’re the ones who need to reevaluate their own identity.

PARAGRAPH #4 dips its ugly toes straight into blatant aphobia, having the gall to call ace and aro people “obsessed” with pretending their relationships with sex and romance are wholly unique and different. Nah, fuck right off with that bullshit. The poster even goes on to say ace people have created entire new social classes. Uh...WHAT? Is there some secret ace society with a caste system living in the shadows?? What is this person talking about?? I suppose you can’t be a true bigot unless you have some vague grievance to weakly hand-gesture at that you couldn’t prove given 20 years to do so. For the love of my sanity, just say you hate ace people! It’s okay! (I mean, not actually, but Jesus Christ does it save us all some time). They also say things like “somehow excluded from”. Replace asexual people with nonbinary people and take a joyride through this section, because the arguments are scarily similar. What would it take for this poster to acknowledge ace and aro people have their own experiences? Seriously, what? What holds you back from doing this?

It’s also funny to note the actual lack of substance to this argument. The poster is not giving any specific examples or even bringing up what being ace and aro mean. Yes, there is a pretty noticeable difference between feeling sexual attraction and not feeling sexual attraction. How many “allo” people do you know that say they’ve NEVER experienced this? Come on. The poster reduces asexuality and aromanticism down to allo people’s, in their own words, hyper-specific contexts where they don’t want sex or love. At least the poster admits any circumstance that allo people are comparable to ace people are extremely specific. But for real, are we hinging a whole argument on a few very specific examples of allo people having some similarity to ace people?

“Nothing about your relationship to sex or love makes you more or less LGBT. If you are gay and don’t want to have sex, ever, you are still gay. “

Mini strawman alert for the idea any ace person thinks you’re less gay if you’re also ace. And bonus points for an aphobe who refuses to use the definition of asexuality: not experiencing sexual attraction, and instead goes for “don’t want to have sex”. For the last. Fucking. Time. Not wanting to have sex and being asexual are NOT the same. Don’t make me pour gasoline in my eyes every time I see this.

After this, the poster goes on a tangent, which by the tone, seems to think it's very inspiring, and says no matter how you want to have sex (including only certain days of the week), you’re still straight! It’s so fucking condescending and gross to talk ace people out of their own identity like this.

“EVERY person who is heterosexual is different in how they perform or experience.”

Oh. My. GOD. THEY DIDN’T EVEN SAY STRAIGHT. THEY SAID HETEROSEXUAL. WUGGYUEGYUG. God help me. Can one be both bisexual and heterosexual? No…? Okay. So then. How is one both asexual AND heterosexual? What single brain cell in this poster’s head was responsible for this Chad of a sentence? I—

*deep breath*

So. It’s interesting how the poster says “perform or experience it”. Asexuality is an identity. It is not a performance, and it is not defined by your actions. A straight person not having sex does not become asexual. And sure...people with the same label can experience their sexuality differently, but...to a point, guys. You can’t experience your sexuality out of the DEFINITION of the label. Heterosexual: Sexual attraction to the opposite gender. Asexual: Sexual attraction to no one. If a “heterosexual” isn’t sexually attracted to anyone, they are by definition, not heterosexual. It takes insane mental gymnastics to make this argument, so A for flexibility, I guess?

“Gayness, straightness, and bisexuality are not defined by HOW you do or don’t want sex or HOW you do or don’t want to date, it’s just defined by WHO you want to be with.”

The first part of the sentence is correct, but it also defeats this person’s entire argument. Ace people AGREE with this. Being asexual is not the act of not having sex!! It’s not experiencing sexual attraction! You can google this! The second part of the sentence is mostly correct, depending on your interpretation. The issue is in part with the words the poster used: gayness, straightness and bisexuality. These words are not all equivalents. Gay could refer to sexual and or romantic orientation. Thus an ace gay person. Straightness is not actually an equal word to gayness. This is because straight is an exclusive term for a normative sexuality (in society’s eyes) in terms of sexual and romantic attraction. Some ace people DO call themselves straight, though it’s inaccurate. Ace people can be heteroromantic, but because being straight is so exclusive, you need to be both sexually AND romantically attracted to only the opposite gender.

The post basically ends telling ace people they’re all actually straight and were just confused the whole time. Lovely. And an erasure of gay aces too! Believe it or not, gay ace people do not like having their ace identities erased. Who’d have guessed?

Honestly, if anything this post is just kind of sad. A sad reflection of what people believe and how they truly do not see their own bigotry. They believe they’re freeing ace people from an incorrect label. They’re the heroes.

They’ll say “it’s okay, you’re not asexual” as if they've like...lifted a burden off of ace people. Like, “Oh, you think I’m not asexual? Cool, cool. Glad you cleared that up for me!” It’s sad how aphobes think, some very genuinely, that asexuality is just some high school party that went off the rails, and we’re all just coming out of the drunken haze, ready to go home. Ready to all laugh about it later, tease one another about how wild and silly it all was.

Having your identity erased like this is fucking horrible, and I hope people like this can take a look in the mirror and see themselves clearly. All ace and aro people have a right to their identity, whether gay, bi, heteroromantic or anything else. End of story.

#discourse #queer discourse #LGBT discourse #Adventures in Aphobia #ace discourse #asexual discourse #aphobia #ace #ace discrimination #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aro #LGBT #queer #rant #why does this post think it's so intellegent #why did this post try so hard to sound nice at first #it's still aphobia

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whetstonefires · 4 years

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Since you like the Hellboy...*perks up* Can I ask what you like about it? Does this need to be part of the ask game, if so, smash it in there. But opinions! I would love!

Ooh! Hm. This is actually surprisingly hard to articulate.

I’ve been ‘into’ Hellboy for like. Half my damn life now, and while I could have gone on at length about all the things about it I found fun as a teenager it was at its core very much a ‘this makes me Feel Happy’ thing. And now that glow is less intense but it’s bolstered by that habitual sort of attachment you feel to like. Family members.

Let’s see how far I can break this down lol.

I have never been able to much like most of the BPRD tie-in type materials and I was not at all pleased with the films, so to an extent I think I can say confidently part of what I like is the way Hellboy is situated in a superhero-comic-adjacent space while being very much coordinated by one overarching creative sensibility--like, other people were brought in to work on Hellboy a lot over the course of the run, but Mignola always had a unifying voice and even when I don’t actually agree with his taste or values that level of artistic...intentionality? Judgment? Presence? Something like that. Gives the work a sense of...integrity? Maybe just unity.

Anyway makes it feel less plastic than comics often do. This is a corporate product of course but it’s also just Mike Mignola hanging out doing whatever he thinks would be cool. Drawing rocks and monsters because that’s what he wants to draw. I like that.

Some of the higher-quality webcomics you get nowadays, when they don’t take themselves too terribly seriously but aren’t outright comedic, can land similarly in terms of voice, but even just fifteen years ago webcomics weren’t really at that point yet as a medium, and even now most are still amateurish as well as amateur. Which is fine, but different.

To get slightly less meta, I love the collection of genres that are smeared together for Hellboy--we’ve got a lot of detective noir stuff cut together with cosmic horror and like...the genre where people research folklore and then mostly punch it. Does that have a name? And then there are a bunch of other influences stirred in, sometimes for only a single issue, sometimes more.

Mignola managed to be significantly less offensive than average about the way he adapted world folklore into his weird groddy kitchen-sink fantasy system, which is pretty funny because he doesn’t come across as being careful about it at all. Not that I think there was no effort made, but also he just used research as a basis for narrative much more often than he started with a story premise and stretched the creature to fit, which by default gave him less scope for dickery.

Also I think the only god he ever fights is Hecate and she’s handled from a 19th-century-occultist angle rather than a Classical angle.

Also Hellboy fights Nazis and cyborg gorillas as well as like. Baba Yaga and vampires. The balance of schlock and gonzo nonsense to pathos and sensitive emotional bits is usually about where I like it.

The episodic format is really well used. It lets the storytelling style lean heavily on the late-19th-through-mid-20th-century short story genres that it borrows a lot from, and which honestly has always worked better for comics than end-to-end long-arc serialization. I like how the anachronic order of many sections of the series allowed for a lot of ‘building outward from the middle.’

Also it means the story can stay true to its roots and kill off a lot of characters in gothic excess without constantly sloughing main cast or having to do fakeouts.

...I can’t believe that since Hellboy isn’t really emotionally involved with the issue of his birth parents except inasmuch as it explains the world-ending stone hand, the single angstiest part of his backstory is technically when he went on a drinking binge road trip around Mexico in his teens and made friends with vampire-fighting luchador triplets but then the youngest one whom he was closest to was kidnapped by the vampires and Hellboy had to kill his best friend, and this is all established in a random side story that pushes the intentional genre absurdism to its breaking point and is equal parts comedic and grotesque.

(The second angstiest is probably the bit in volume 1 when he finds his dad murdered by frogs.)

I also just love characters who wear trench coats and are actually really clever and knowledgeable and kind but tend to resort, in extremity, to just hitting problems really hard. Okay? I like that. That’s a fave.

Hellboy’s whole character design is very strong, a bunch of dramatic broad-strokes decisions that contrast interestingly against one another, and then a lot of subtler elements layered in crosswise.

The way his relationship to the narrative ‘occult-fighting antichrist figure’ could be really straightforward, but keeps stepping a little sideways off the usual shape of the tropes in a way that creates depth.

He’s a giant red demon guy who stopped aging in the 50s; he’s never going to be able to be ‘normal’ or pretend he isn’t what he is--but also he’s a dude with a government job and probably a Social Security Number who goes and interviews people about the situation and says ‘I’m Agent Hellboy’ and gets called ‘Mr. Boy’ and is just this guy who knows his shit and can take a beating.

(This was one of the major things I hated in the first movie, that they decided to make him this weird secret cryptid whose dad keeps him locked in a vault when he’s not fighting.)

The way the identity thing is never reduced to comfortable binaries with him except by enemies trying to psych him out is just really satisfying. He fights monsters not because he hates them or himself but because he was recruited into this career young and he’s really good at it, and he feels good about helping people who are being victimized.

When something occult isn’t hurting anybody he’s down to chill, and if it turns out they secretly are after all he’s always so tired and disappointed, and if they really aren’t then he has a new friend. Whom he may never see again or may hit up for a game of cards next time he’s in town.

(I also like how he combines ‘being pretty private’ ‘being very casually friendly’ and ‘being an asshole who makes a lot of enemies’; it’s not that unusual a combo for his type of main character but it’s one I enjoy.)

When he breaks off his own horns as part of his rejection of being Anung Un Rama it’s not ‘choosing humanity’ or w/e it’s choosing not to be used for this. His name is Hellboy, which is an objectively awful name but it was given to him by people he loved and who chose him, not the people who made him or brought him to this world to be used, and he chooses it.

And that has weight. That has force enough behind it to carry a world.

Just in general in spite of all the identity stuff he gets swamped with he’s really good at self-knowledge and letting other people’s ideas of who and what he’s supposed to be just wash over him. As the story goes on and shit gets weirder his sense of identity gets shaken, but he never quite loses that anchor in the knowledge that he is the ultimate arbiter of his own identity.

His exasperation on being told via stabbing that he doesn’t get to be King of England even if he is the first male descendant of King Arthur since Mordred is so funny. Why is this a thing, says Hellboy. Why am I finding out like this. Why do I always find out this shit like this. Why would anyone think I wanted to be King of England. I already punched so many skeletons about not wanting to be King of Witches.

He’s got so much righteous anger that comes out when people are treated as disposable, or as less for being not human or less human or superpowered, and of course it’s founded in his own experiences and his own fight for respect but it’s not about him. It’s about the person who’s suffering now.

One time his combat one-liner before shooting something started with ‘The Torch of Liberty said I was the worst shot he ever tried to train’ that’s so funny! I love that!

He’s my boy okay.

#have this rant lol #hellboy #my opinions #fandom recruitment pitch #i have all 12 volumes and a number of very disappointing tie-ins #i almost didn't get them all because i was collecting at a leisurely rate #and then all the bookstores stopped stocking it because it had wrapped up #and guess what???#volume 11 of 12 ain't easy to find used!#comics #writing #identity #names and naming #beastenraged #ask #hoc est meum

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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You said the other day that you don't really like Talon stories. Do you mind saying why?

LOL they’re just not really what I’m here for? Idk, I think people tend to make a bigger deal out of this than it actually is even in my head, maybe because Talon stories have so quickly become such a staple of fics that it just seems weird not to like them? And its not like I’ve never liked one or been intrigued by a premise, I have, though specific recs elude me at the moment, there’s one I was reading on ff.net I really enjoyed, it was YJ verse.....

But honestly its really just that a recurring theme of Dick’s stories in canon - and one of the things I turn to fanfic for in the first place, to get away from, to read something ELSE about him - is dehumanization. Reducing his sense of self, brainwashing or controlling him, making him other than he usually is, even just in temporary ways....it gets old. I come to fanfic hoping to read and write stuff beyond that, and Talon fics are so often even heavier on the dehumanizing him aspect of things, like making him even more mindless than most Talons in canon are ever portrayed, and don’t get me started on how often they just flat out refer to Talon Dick as ‘it’.....its just a no thanks from me. Just not what I’m looking for.

Add to that other incidentals, like, its completely understandable in context of these narratives that the Batfam feel they have to restrain Dick while he’s a Talon and in the Batcave, but again, its just not something I’m looking to read? Because for example, another big theme of mine is how uncomfortable and unwelcome I think Dick’s come to feel in Wayne Manor over the years, given the many times Bruce has essentially kicked him out and how little effort he’s made to make it into a home for him again (like I think there are more reasons than just grief that Dick lived in the penthouse rather than the Manor when Bruce was believed dead and Dick was in charge of his estate)....so when you look at things from that angle, which I’m just kinda predisposed towards doing, the imprisonment angle of Talon fics (and the attitudes of a lot of the Batcharacters as they go about it, like they’re just being pragmatic, Dick will understand - yeah he might understand but that doesn’t mean there won’t be mental and emotional undercurrents of resentment and hurt to that understanding)....like, its just one more way/reason for Dick’s childhood home to be turned against him and made a place where he feels or will remember feeling explicitly unwelcome. I’m not saying its WRONG to take that angle in fics, lol, I’m just saying....its not for me. Its just not what I’m looking for.

Also its a bit of a pet peeve to see Talon abilities viewed as an upgrade rather than something inflicted on him by his tormentors and at BEST somethting Dick would have very conflicting views on - and tbh this isn’t limited to just him, I have similar thoughts about how Cass might feel about her own abilities and how even now that she can communicate well with others, she still feels somewhat different or removed from most people because of this ‘superpower’ that had to be ABUSED into her and that she would have traded for her father’s actual love any day - but I mean, there’s a thing in a lot of Talon fics where alongside the dehumanization angle, which Dick isn’t even just expected to just ‘get over’ once he’s back to his regular mental awareness, because its usually never even delved into, how he feels about the fact that for awhile there, he was nothing more than an ‘it’ even in his family’s eyes, and IMO he’s like, funny, I’m pretty sure I’m still the only person in this body all along, so if it was just an it to you, where exactly did you think I was? But aside from the angst I feel he SHOULD have from thinking about how easily he was viewed as just a mindless tool and pawn and thing by people, there’s a tendency to hop, skip and jump to him being okay with his Talon ‘upgrades’ because they make him so much more effective....and there’s just a WAY this is usually gone about that like, for me, glosses over how effective he was without them, and the fact that none of his family members seem to need or think they need them themselves to be effective....and somewhere in all that, it seems to get lost that the whole reason the Court even WANTS Dick so badly is because of how effective he is even already.

Plus - there’s my personal annoyance with how characters with super-fast healing are treated in narratives across the board. In comics, books, movies, shows, fics, everywhere - I ranted about this a TON in Teen Wolf fandom, its a complaint I have with Wolverine and his family in Marvel comics, etc....I vastly dislike how often its just treated as assumed that just because a character heals rapidly, like....the actual trauma and pain of injuries inflicted might as well not even matter. Like, that’s not how it works IMO? When I think about a time I broke an arm, I’m not thinking about ‘oh it barely matters because it only took a couple months to heal and when I view that in the context of my whole lifespan that’s barely anything, it was so fast’....like no, I’m thinking about what it felt like when I actually BROKE it. There’s a tendency, I feel, when characters get an ability to make an injury disappear out of sight out of mind rapidly, to just view the emotional and mental consequences of injury being inflicted as negligible, and not really mattering anymore, and I heavily disagree with that logic. IMO, these characters throwing themselves headfirst in front of everyone else as a human shield, while practical in one sense of the word, is also like, begging to be examined as oh I see, so basically you’re saying that now that you no longer need to be treated with care because you’re invulnerable, you’re worthless and the pain that goes along with all those injuries you get 100x more of now, that’s like...meaningless and fake news.

I mean, even if you make an argument for Dick no longer having pain receptors (which I’d also be heavily against because uh, if you go that route you’re also inadvertently suggesting things about his sensory input and ability to feel varying degrees of touch across the board and again its more the lack of examination of that as much as anything else that’s things that make me go mmmm no thanks)....the injuries are still being inflicted and there’s still gonna be psychological damage inflicted from processing that no one seems significantly bothered by him being ‘family niche - human pincushion for the prevention of others saying oww’ without so much as commentary.

And lastly, did I mention, I just really really reeeeeeally dislike the dehumanization angle that tends to go hand in hand with these fics.

But for the record, like, I honestly do like the Court of Owls and what they bring to Dick’s stories because all of this, ironically is precisely why they DO play so well into his core themes of autonomy and independence and self-determinism. Its just, I’m here for fics where Dick triumphs over them and their attempts to hijack him and his life for their own agendas, and I feel like a lot of the time we see a Pyrrhic victory at best, when going the Talon route, and a lot of THAT time its not even regarded or treated as such, but rather a full victory with no real examination of how Dick’s life is different now, how he’s changed not just by what was done to him but by how he was treated by BOTH sides WHILE it was done to him?

And the other element here is like....the Court and their presence in his fics doesn’t HAVE to equal making him a full on Talon along the way, just like it never has in canon. I don’t view the fulfillment of what’s inherently a THREAT to his character as an improvement UPON his character. *shrugs* But also there’s just so many avenues for angst or emotional tangles when it comes to the Court even without making Dick a Talon himself.....just have him picturing or having nightmares of imagining his parents turned into Talons and how horrifying he’d find that, or worry in the wake of revelations about the Court that his family is now looking at him differently, imagining the threat HE could be when he hasn’t even done anything. Or there’s the angle of Bruce knowing but not telling him to try and protect him but that causing conflict OR you could go a route I’ve never seen done before, and like, have Dick and Bruce come into conflict with the Court before any of the others come along and like, save Dick from ever being made a full Talon but the point is years later the Court resurfaces and they and their plans for Dick are a complete revelation to his siblings and there’s perfectly understandable conflict because of that even if the reason is as simple and equally as understandable as Bruce didn’t feel it was his to share if Dick didn’t want to, as long as they honestly thought the Court had been neutralized, and he respected that its a painful topic to Dick that he wasn’t trying to hide, he just flat out didn’t want to talk about so it never came up.

There’s a lot that can be done with the Court, but usually they’re just utilized as a prelude to Talon Dick Grayson and bottom line is that’s just not somewhere I’m usually looking to go, personally.

BUT in the spirit of me being completely contradictory as always, again its like I said, there are some here and there that I really get into, there’s a YJ one that really delves deep into Dick’s emotions on all of this and has a prequel set during Jason’s Robin days, when they first encounter the Court, I forget the title but someone feel free to drop it in the notes if you know what I’m talking about, and @dustorange always does interesting things with the Court and Talons that’s different each time and I’m sure I’m forgetting more, so its not like.....a blanket across the board nope thing. Its just I have particular reservations about HOW a lot of Talon and Court fics play out that I’m just....not the right audience for simply because its not what I’m looking for in fics, personally.

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unforth · 4 years

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Hi there! I absolutely loooove the destiel fic collection and think that it's a genius way to expose fans to fics that might not always get as much attention on fic recs and when searching on ao3. I was thinking of trying to create a similar collection for another fandom and was wondering if you have any tips? Or if there's anything that you wish you knew when you started it? Thank you!

Hi!! Just for openers, sorry I didn’t reply to this yesterday, my mom’s basement flooded and took with it all my writing time, sigh. ANYWAY. On to the topic at hand. How to make a “faves survey” for another fandom, and have it resemble what I’ve made for Destiel? Well, here’s what I’ve done, hopefully some of it will be applicable to you...

1. This is the most important part: Do NOT let it become or be perceived as a popularity contest. Never release the raw stats (except perhaps to a small number of people who you trust to help you). Never announce a “winner.” Never share a ranked list. Never act as if more votes equals better. Never ever suggest in anyway that your purpose to find “the best.” Treat people and fics who get one vote with just as much fanfare as people and fics who get 50 votes. I do release a “top 20″ list just because so many people asked, but even then, it’s in alphabetical order, and meant more as a snapshot. Encourage people to vote for their favorites that aren’t already in whatever collection you end up making, and encourage people to vote for things they don’t usually see on rec lists. Aim for an expansive range of types of fics being voted for, and make it clear - no ship shaming (or secondary ship shaming, if yours is ship-based like mine, rather than being general to a given fandom) or kink shaming.

2. Keep the survey super simple. People don’t read complex instructions, and they’re not going to want to rank lists or anything like that. You can see the one I use here. Feel free to emulate it, copy it, modify it for your own purposes. I used to just do boxes but people would routinely put in way more than 5/10, and while I didn’t really mind the extras, it greatly increased the amount of work I had to do, and since the survey routinely gets a couple hundred replies that I go through, I decided to make it a little harder for people to go over the limits. Don’t bother asking for people’s names or trying to validate the results. I’ve tried. People don’t want to put their names, and validation encourages people not to submit...AND doesn’t prevent cheating...so is really pointless. Just keep it anonymous, after four rounds I can say...that works best.

3. And, speaking of people going over the limits, and cheating...people will cheat. No matter how clear you are that number of votes don’t matter, no matter how much you insist that whatever data you’re collecting will only be used in so-and-so a way...you will spot people “cheating,” for various definitions of the word cheating. People who vote for their own works. People will submit multiple surveys. People will “ballot box stuff” for their favorite(s). People will list more than the maximums you’ve asked them to. People will submit works from other ships, and - though it’s never happened to me - if you make it fandom-general I’ll lay heavy odds at least one dumbass will submit for some other fandom entirely. It happens in different permutations every time, some more obvious than others, but it happens. And the conclusion I reached is...so fucking what? In the end, since the idea is to highlight as many different great works as possible...screw it. Let people vote for themselves. Let people ballot box stuff. Let people submit multiple surveys, or list more than whatever maximums you’ve set. In the end, since every work is treated as equal and one vote is worth as much as a hundred...if they’re cheating to up the vote count, it’s irrelevant, and if they’re cheating to vote for more works, then yay! more works to include! and basically the only thing I’ve found that reduces cheating is to make it absolutely clear to people that I’d really rather they not but ultimately I can’t stop them, so do their thing I guess? And it does help. I got less cheating each time I do it, or at least less that I’m able to catch lol. (as a side note - the one exceptions is the “works for others ships.” Those you can see listed on the “INELIGIBLE” sheet of the spreadsheet I link below, but I don’t add them to the AO3 collection.)

4. Spreadsheets are your best friend. You’re going to want some way to organize the data you’re collecting. I’ve got a public version of the sheet I use that you can see here. It’s pretty similar to my “private” version, except the private version includes actual vote counts, separated by which time(s) I did the survey that the work in question got votes. I mostly use that data so I can do comparisons over the years (“this year X works were added to the collection that were never in it before!”) and because I like numbers. However, depending on how exactly you plan to use the data, you may not even need to tally vote counts, and you could do one that’s more similar to my public version. Also, if you make an AO3 collection, you’re going to want some way to track which works you’ve invited, which have been added, etc., cause otherwise it’s just a nightmare to keep track of. (a little more on this later).

5. Decide how and where you’re going to share your data - as an AO3 collection? As a public spreadsheet? On social media? Maybe you want to make a side Tumblr just for it? Or a Discord server? etc. etc. Like, I’ve got a pillowfort group (though I hardly use it) and a channel in a Discord server (thanks again to the PB folks for making space for me!) with the AO3 collection being the main portal. You want to make sure that it’s advertised enough that people know it exists, and also be prepared that short term you’ll hear basically no feedback on whether people use it, and even long term it’ll be once in a blue moon and suddenly eight people will be like WAIT YOU’RE THE PERSON BEHIND THAT THING I LOVE THAT THING. In that respect it can feel a little thankless but I’ve definitely found that people do use it, it’s just that there’s no real way for people to let YOU know they’re using it (and, honestly...good? This isn’t really about us, after all, it’s about all these fic writers, the goal is to bring attention to them, not ourselves, we’re just a go-between for the writers and the readers.)

6. For making an AO3 collection, you’ll have to invite every single work individually. Some people have their accounts set to auto-accept invites, but otherwise whether the work actually gets added will depend on the authors. Some people will never accept the invite. Some people won’t know how to accept the invite. Some people will accept the invite and then subsequently remove their work. Some people have left these parts completely and will never even see the invite. That’s why it’s important to track who has added and who hasn’t, and periodically double check it (I double check every six months or so). For the people who don’t accept the invites for whatever reason, you can bookmark the item to the collection. HOWEVER, if you do this with your personal account, every single one of those bookmarks will be listed under your personal AO3, which is why I ultimately made the Faves survey its own account - it’s entirely to facilitate bookmarking. You can also use the “Bookmark External Work” feature to link to works that aren’t on AO3, and to tag them to whatever extent you want to. Here’s some examples of how I chose to bookmark external works.

7. Things will inevitably get complicated. Authors will change their names. People who do the survey will use shorthand you’ve never heard of for some fic you don’t know. People will misspell things and you’ll either recognize it even with the typo...or you won’t. People will vote for things that list eight different ships and you’ll have no idea which one is endgame. People will vote for things that have been deleted, or they’ll tell you it’s definitely on AO3 when it’s not, it’s on some other platform. The list of random things I’ve had to deal with is stupidly long and I’ve probably forgotten even more. Just...roll with it. Do your best. Ask for help (“Someone nominated a fic abbreviated as ABC to the collection and didn’t give the author and I have no idea what it is, help me Tumblr!”). And in the end, if you’ve done everything you can think of and you still don’t know...let it go. It’s just not that worth worrying about. And sometimes if you step away and look again in a few days you’ll figure out another way to search and it’ll pop up. But honestly I’ve got a handful of works I still haven’t been able to track down, and that one work that someone submitted that’s only available in Finnish and is explicit and behind a log-in wall on a small independent Finnish-only fic archive...well, I spoke to the author and confirmed the work exists, but otherwise...whelp, it’s not linked, and I did my best. That’s all you can do.

8. No matter what you do, someone somewhere will probably get upset about it. The first time I did the survey, when it got the most traction, I actually got a little hate, and I got some anons who were like “oooooo did you know that ~x~ is cheating” and I had a little “HOW DARE YOU NOT PLAY FAVORITES WHAT ABOUT MY PERSONAL FAVE?” and just...decide how you’re approaching the survey, and stick to your guns, and if anyone is a douche, hit the block button. And, related...

9. Transparency is most important imo. Not transparency for vote counts obviously, but transparency for what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, and what you hope to accomplish. Make sure your goals are clear from the start (mine weren’t that first time, hence some of the problems I encountered) - if it’s to highlight as wide a range of works as possible, say that. If it IS to pick a favorite, say that too. Just be clear, and honest, and above board, and it should work out okay.

10. Side note...one of the saddest things about all this is that if you do it over an extended period you’ll see authors deleting their works. As such, I personally chose to download every work that gets a vote, that way it’s at least preserved. I then expanded that into a much larger archive that I’m still adding to all the time, trying to save as much Destiel as possible. But then, I’m an archivist at heart, whether you want to branch out in that kind of direction is up to you.

...okay, that’s everything I can think of. Hopefully I didn’t scare you too bad. I don’t know what fandom/ship you’re looking at but for perspective...first time I did the survey I got about 400 replies, and then the next two times it got about 200, and this most recent time it got about 300. I chose to do mine annually, on the assumption that gives some time for people to come and go for fandom and a lot of new works to get created, and I deliberately timed it for about a month after the biggest fandom event (the DCBB) that generates fics, to give people time to read those fics and consider them in their voting. For me, that means I happen to run the survey starting on January 1st, and I keep it limited to 15 days, since usually it tapers off anyway. But you could try experimenting with different schedules, or leaving it open all the time, etc., it just depends how much time you want to devote to monitoring and updating it. For me, I mostly want to do a big burst of work and then not have to think about it most of the rest of the time, lol.

So...questions? comments? thoughts? wanna tell me I’m dead wrong? I’m all ears, lemme know how I can help!

#destiel favs survey #unforth replies #sorry if this is a mess I've GOT to do some writing so I don't want to take the time to edit it #treatlouwithkindness

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mewtwo24 · 4 years

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Lucifer Meta

I‌ feel like I‌ keep seeing so much talk about this, and maybe its been said before, but given I‌ have too much time on my hands and I‌ can’t stop thinking about it, I felt the need to put it into words.

A lot of people have mentioned that, if you take a look at Lucifer’s dialogue in several scenes within both the MS‌ and several ES’s, he keeps harping on this insistent desire to be considered special by the MC. He doesn’t want to be another demon a dozen (I’m sorry I‌ know I’m cringing too), he doesn’t want to be just another hottie that got away or the story of ‘that crazy hot guy I‌ fucked and never saw again.’

Today I‌ want to get into the reason for that. (Also a note, I‌ will be using feminine pronouns for the MC but I‌ fully understand that the creators allude to non-binary identification, and don’t want to discourage anyone from that—I‌’m just working from how I‌ personally play.)

Now, I‌ think it can be pretty easy to just write it off as a product of pride. After all, pride does come hand in hand with the idea that you assume you are unique beyond measure, somebody that is without peer in the best meaning of that notion. And while I‌ do think Lucifer does have a great deal of confidence in some regards, I‌ don’t personally believe that’s the whole truth. I‌ feel like it’s more complicated than that. Honestly, it’s one of the reasons I‌ enjoy Obey Me so much; we all know the basic premise. Seven deadly sins yada yada yada, absolute dumpsterfire demon family of brothers yada yada yada. But I‌ feel like beyond that surface level there are some pretty alarming–if not downright profound–moments of humanity (for lack of a better term) that emerge in each of them.

With Lucifer, I‌ feel like this constant desperation for recognition is actually an acute reflection of both his reputation, and his lifelong history. And to explain why I‌ think this is true, I‌ need to reference a major spoiler from the MS. I’m going to assume everyone’s read the MS‌ to that point, but if not I’ve added a cut and added proper tags just in case. Please don’t read below if you haven’t gotten to Chapter (14-10)!

Okay y’all, you remember the scene where it’s revealed that Lucifer gave up his entire future as a demon to give Lilith a chance to be reborn and properly be with a person she loved as a human someday? I‌ want to start here, because I‌ feel like this is crucial to our understanding of Lucifer’s attraction to MC. One of the harder things about getting close to Lucifer is how tightly sealed he is. Call this demon Fort Knox, he’s never going to betray his true intentions or his true feelings unless he has a gun to his head. And the reasons for that are obvious (vulnerability?????‌ in m y me???? it’s less like than you think one more step and I‌ kill you–)‌ You can’t be the perfect caretaker or the perfect right hand to the most powerful being in your realm by betraying constant fluctuation in feeling. (Too bad he’s the most brittle motherfucker I’ve ever seen. But, I‌ digress.) Besides which, I imagine one of the many ways he kept himself from cracking and spilling his secret was to bury it in the sure silence of secrecy. He could significantly lower the threat of revealing the truth if he never, ever talked about it at length. He manifests capability and strength in the most classical/conservative forms of those words (and coincidentally, the ones most acceptable to the old school ‘canonic’ representations of christianity):‌ with stoicism, by refusing to show a single chink in the armor or an iota of oscillating warmth. True devotion to God means no signs of wavering; you are either with Him or against Him. You either follow the rules, or you don’t. (While I‌ understand this is not the case in many branches of the church, trust me when ‌I say the Orthodox community has not changed LMFAO)

The reason I‌ feel the need to create this basis is that it makes his looking to MC‌ for understanding makes so much more sense within that context. Think about it. MC‌ was, first and foremost, the only one to see the memory of him begging Diavolo to save Lilith. MC‌ saw him at the absolute lowest moment of his entire life. Having lost everything in the rebellion, with nothing and nowhere to call home, the very person he was devoted to protecting a casualty. The archangel of heaven, the most glorious and famous immortal in veritable history up to that point–without peer, without equal–lost. Imagine. A‌ being that never even entertained and could not fathom anything less than perfection and capability, was now faced with irrefutable evidence that he not only lost, but failed in the most devastating meaning of that word. Not only could he not prove his newfound conviction, he failed the very person that showed him what he needed to prove–the very person that deserved the fruits of his successful endeavor.

(And not only that, he gets zero time to grieve or process. He immediately has to bargain himself to essentially eternal servitude in order to give his sister just one chance at something she’s always dreamed of, and to protect the siblings most faithful to his cause–the ones to whom he feels most indebted. Let’s not forget growing accustomed to an entirely new way of life, learning how to exist as a demon and having to come to terms with so many changes–whether good or bad. Though knowing Lucifer, I‌ get the feeling change is an incredibly stressful thing for someone who was so accustomed to clear rules, order, and determinism. I’d wager it’s why he hinges so oddly on this notion that ‘demons are extreme creatures that cannot change, MC.’ While in some ways this does feel like scapegoating–and it is, the repressed fuck–I‌ think he does partially believe it to be true. He’s a demon now. Demon = a very powerful inclination to certain vices, and after having people like Diavolo confirm that information he truly believes it cannot be reduced. He just accepts that this is part of his new fate, no matter how frustrating. Me and MC’s modernist ass beg to differ, but given the lore suggests real differences between demons and humans I‌ can’t really speak confidently to which of us is most right. I‌ feel like the game does suggest at least a little potential to change or lessen those vices, but this is a bit of a digression from my main point.)

Second of all, think about her reaction. MC‌ hugs Lucifer immediately, so moved she embraces him even as he’s seconds from starting on a frustrated tirade. (This is how I interpreted that event, and that’s the choice I made--but even if you hit him, you’re showing a very real emotional reaction to Lucifer’s plight. I took both of those reactions to be a heated, heartbroken acknowledgement of what he’d been forced to sacrifice. Either a great deal of compassion, or angry grief that he would take on the weight of everything they’d lost alone--a reminder to think about himself first, too.) Her reaction to his sacrifice isn’t jaded mockery ‘LOL can’t believe you took the biggest L‌ imaginable for your baby sis who’s 6 feet under anyway.’ Her reaction isn’t a hardened heart, so angry with all of his lying and violent outbursts that she doesn’t give a damn (which honestly I‌ wouldn’t even blame her for being indifferent given some of the shit he’s pulled). Her reaction is a sincere appreciation that his heart could be so tender, that he could care so deeply for just one sweet angel that he would risk everything to defend her. (Even if he had other reasons, he expressly says that Lilith was the catalyst.)

I want to take a moment to link back to earlier. That’s what’s so key about Lucifer. He was supposed to be the perfect angel. Unsullied, untainted. Completely devoted to the rules of heaven, so well-versed and immovable in those ideals that even Diavolo had no shortage of admiration for him–was equally desperate to have him in his service after the fall. But Lucifer proves to be, by some perceptions, broken. He is not the perfect angel that everyone lauded without end, that was Daddy dearest’s pride and joy.

He cared. He cared about Lilith and his fellow angels and even humanity, no matter how foolish or ridiculous or foolhardy it seemed–to the point of waging war against everything and everyone he’s ever known. While I‌ can’t speak to what it was that changed him so greatly, I‌ have to wonder if it was, in fact, love. Lilith risked everything to protect the human man she had fallen in love with, wanted nothing more than to have a little family and protect that which was so dear to her. Was Lucifer moved by that…?‌ Did Lucifer find himself wanting something similar?‌ Or at the very least, wanted angels and humans to have the right to choose?

In truth, I‌ really can’t be sure. But I‌ still think it’s crucial that Lilith’s choice was the motivating factor of his change; he saw that someone could earn a love so deep it would inspire a sacrifice beyond reason. And that MC‌ saw him at his most vulnerable–at his most personal–reflecting the very behavior he’d learned from Lilith and saw the same exact thing that he did:‌ beauty. MC understood that moment as something to be cherished, something that proved a staggering capacity for compassion. And not only that, she felt a great deal of sympathy. Sure she’s probably never made a sacrifice that big before, but so much of being mortal is sacrifice. So much of being human is seeing that which is bigger than yourself, is seeing a loved one who needs you, and giving what you can. As such, it was a moment of resonance–it was a moment that proved his capacity for good in human and grounded terms, no matter how cranky or closed off or repressed.

(Also y’all because I‌ have to say it. THE ELLIPSIS. THE FACT THAT HE JUST REVELS IN THE HUG FOR A SOLID FEW MINUTES, JUST SOAKING UP THE AFFECTION. I DIE SOMEBODY PLEASE HUG THIS OVERWORKED, TOUCH-STARVED, MISERABLE FOOL I LOVE HIM.)

Granted, Lucifer did show signs of intrigue towards the MC‌ from the getgo, but most of them were wooden. Curious on a very surface level, more like ‘this human really is deranged huh what a weirdo’ than necessarily BANGS POTS AND PANS ‘I L O V E THIS H U M A N’. And that, for me, is key. I‌ have to wonder if he doesn’t feel comfortable showing skin or getting too close to people in any kind of way because they don’t really know him.

This is what I’m getting at.

The hard thing about pride is that most pride worth any salt comes from a firm center of confident knowledge about one’s own ability. And if there is anything this game tries to get us to understand, it’s that Lucifer is in many regards a workaholic wiz. He never stops going, never stops trying to be the best older brother and second hand to Diavolo the realm has ever seen. (For those of you that argue he’s a shit older brother, I‌ 100% agree he’s a dingus about expressing it properly but I‌ don’t think he’s a bad brother. His home screen lines are 90% him expressing his worries about being unable to connect to and help his brothers. That is not an apathetic guardian. That’s a tender idiot doing his best.) But his greatest strength is also his greatest weakness, the very thing that keeps him up at night literally and figuratively.

What if the people in his life only want him there because he’s so amazing and so capable–makes their lives so much easier–that it doesn’t really matter who’s getting the work done? What if he’s ultimately just a tool again? Just another thing to throw away when he’s no longer useful enough to be kept close? What if nobody loves him for just…him?

This is where it really starts to hurt. Thanks, God.

And that’s why he’s so enamored of the MC. It’s not just that she takes his feelings seriously, it’s not just that she’s equally stubborn and willful and cheeky. I think, more than anything, it’s because she saw who he was at his core–an angel that lost everything and sold what little he had left to make the most precious person in his life happy–and loved him all the more for it. She didn’t see it as a weakness to take advantage of, she didn’t see it as a weakness period.

She saw it as a place to build. She shows him that vulnerability doesn’t have to mean danger and endless anguish. She shows him that in this new world he’s inhabiting–where everyone is flawed, where everyone is limited–it’s only natural to have points that are less than logical or conventionally/perfectly defensible. She stands firm that–while he may have been a bit of a dickwad–that act was still noble, and that he would have to share this with his brothers if they were ever to mend the relationships that were smashed to smithereens in the aftermath of the war. Lilith could be a place of commonality from which they could all bond, and evidence of his compassion–rather than God’s judgement that it was a contemptible flaw.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what his repression of feeling is. It’s not just fear of being mocked by his brothers (though that’s definitely part of it). It’s the literal, staggering PTSD‌ of that moment where everything changed, where he made the ‘wrong’ decision in choosing love and freedom. Not only proof of his being less than perfect, it was the moment his creator abandoned him completely–the moment his creator sought his unilateral and uncompromising destruction over a disagreement. Lucifer is afraid of opening his heart because he’s afraid that, in the end? He’ll devote himself down to the marrow only to find out he was being used the whole time. He isn’t being loved because they see both his shortcomings and his impressive qualities and develop affection anyway, he’s being ‘loved’ because he’s useful to them–and so long as that continues, he’ll continue receiving empty praise meant to motivate him into complacence. This is why Diavolo’s moe pining and compliments mean jack shit to him. Because Lucifer can never be sure it’s not just another selfish power play, because Lucifer can’t trust that Diavolo’s affection comes from a place beyond motivating an unquestioning, relentless work ethic/loyalty. (I fully admit I‌ don’t think Diavolo necessarily means that much harm, but I also don’t think Lucifer is wrong to be wary given how evidently capricious Diavolo is…)

But yeah. MAJOR‌ Daddy and vulnerability issues.

Which is what makes his line “Who knew a human like you would stir this kind of feeling in me?” so fucking ironic to me. Really, Lucifer?‌ The calls are coming from i n s i d e. The defining moment of your life was the most altruistic, humanlike act a celestial creature could ever commit. Why are you so surprised, then, that a human could unlock the depths of your heart?‌ To the contrary, perhaps it is only a human-–that doesn’t have any desire for power or illusions of perfection—that could quiet the anxiety lodged deep inside his heart. She helps him come to terms with and nurture these feelings of love not just because she’s understanding and patient, but because her motivations are not mercenary or interested in prestige. MC’s just here to have a good time and wants to see them all get along together, and who could be more compatible for the demon that has little to no notion of freedom or how to mend the family he gave up everything for?

(Also an interesting side note, it may also explain why Lucifer can relax around the MC so thoroughly as time goes on. Because she herself tends to be more relaxed, he too begins to fully embody an existence where the stakes aren’t always in the stratosphere; he can be silly and tired and needy without fear of a cold reprisal or invasive curiosity. He can just be himself in peace, and that’s all he really wants more than anything.)

#obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me lucifer #obey me meta #obey me spoilers #catch me in my fucking lucifer feels YET AGAIN #this is what happens when im left alone to think good lordt #its just been eating at me since the reveal and its only now that ive been able to properly put my finger on why he kills me so bad #its even funnier bc at the beginning i was so like #what do you want you asshole boomer #and now im just #'is anyone going to hold that sad idiot demon who literally can't practice self-care for more than three seconds at a time?'#and then i dont wait for an answer HJKLFHD #all the other brothers: whoa man you didnt have to take it on all on your own--#me and beel: BRING IT IN YOU FUCKING SADSACK I L Y #evidently two kinds of people/demons

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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hey! for the tarot cards reading, a love or relationship would be cool! his name starts with D and mine J. He’s a scorpio and i’m a Libra if that matters. We met off Bumble too LOL. thank you and if you can’t do it no worries! 🥺❤️

here you go darl

Tarot: 2 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, 2 of cups, 9 of cups, 8 of pentacles, queen of swords, 7 of cups, 2 of swords

okay these cards literally made me so fucking angry last night when i pulled them and you’ll see why in a minute, but hopefully in typing this up i’ll figure out what they’re getting at. This first set I drew asking the cards about you and D in a general sense.

(One interesting thing to note before we start is that there is only 1 court card here which later you’ll see that i took to represent you. Which means that D doesn’t really appear in this reading so it’s all very internally focused on you. I will say that the bottom of the jane austen deck when i finished pulling these cards was the king of pentacles (the other bottom deck card was the wheel of fortune) so if we take that king has representing D, that shows that you’re relative equals, of a similar age/experience level and also that this does concern him but it’s still about you.)

So, anyway, let’s start with that 2 of pentacles. It’s a card about balance - weighing up options to make a decision, balancing priorities when your situation changes. It’s being clarified by the 8 of pentacles which represents apprenticeship. Normally the 8 of pents would appear in relation to someone starting a new job or course of study, things like that, but if we look at it in the context of this potential romantic relationship it’s really just saying its a new thing, still in the early days. There’s passion there but the 8 of pents also symbolises high standards and to me, the two cards together are just saying that you’re at a stage where you’re deciding whether or not to pursue this thing. Is he worth it? Is it likely to go somewhere?

Next we have the 9 of wands and the queen of swords. I think the Queen represents you (swords is tied to the air signs and libra is an air sign). She’s the least emotional of the queens, the most logical. She is loving and loyal but only to those she deems worthy. She’s very selective about who she lets get close to her. And she’s clarifying the 9 of wands which represents resilience and taking a stand, strength in adversity. It’s about protecting yourself. And I think these two cards are a bit of a warning to not get too caught up in the newness of it all, the passion and excitement of a new relationship. Don’t rush it, basically. Think things through properly before you move forward and be as sure as you can be that it’s right for you.

Then we have the 2 of cups which, usually, is one of the best cards to get in a romantic reading, second only to The Lovers I’d say. It’s about partnership and connection. Some people see it as an indication of soulmates or twin flames. It’s a really good indication that the relationship can move forward harmoniously and that there will be a deeper connection. But. Here it’s being clarified by the 7 of cups. There are 2 ways to interpret the 7 of cups. The first is about choices and options. There’s 7 cups there you could drink out of. That’s a lot of choice, a lot of potential paths you could take. If you read it in that way then together these cards could be saying that you have other options for a romantic connection. Or he does. Or, the other way to interpret the 7 of cups is to do with fantasy and imagination and daydreaming. Maybe this is all a bit of a pipe dream? Too good to be true? Perhaps this is a warning about imagining what might be before you know where he stands, or about having unrealistic expectations about the relationship. Either way, be cautious. I did also pull a third card to try and clarify these two further this morning (lord knows why i didn’t do that to start) and i got the 7 of swords which on one hand is about deception and trickery, and on the other is about determination. So it didn’t really do a whole lot of clear things up lmao.

(are you starting to see why i was getting annoyed lmao)

Finally, the 9 of pentacles and the 2 of swords. The 9 of pents is a happy card. It’s about receiving the fruits of your labour, being rewarded, feeling accomplished. There’s a sense that you’ve been waiting a while for someone decent to come along and this potential relationship is your reward for that. It’s the universe saying you’ve been patient and now it’s your turn. But the 2 of swords under is another card about decisions and choice so we’re back to where we fucking started. Another 2. More balancing. More decisions. It can also represent a stalemate of sorts, indecision. Maybe you have a feeling that your family or friends wouldnt like him, maybe you’re used to being autonomous and independent and aren’t sure how that will be effected by being in a relationship. Whatever it is, something is being weighed up here, something needs to be decided.

SO, after that I decided to draw a few more tarot cards to try and get an indication of this decision and where the relationship was headed in 2021. This is where i started to get really annoyed lmao

tarot: seven of swords, 3 of cups, 8 of wands, 2 of wands, ace of wands, 7 of wands, king of pentacles

So the 7 of pentacles (wild that i just drew this card as a clarifier but anyway), like i said before, trickery/deception and determination. With the ace of wands under it i’m inclined to lean more towards determination. See, the ace of wands is about creation and willpower and desire. It indicates that there is a spark here, excitement and passion and things are heating up or are on the precipice of doing so. And someone (you or him or both of you) is willing it to go further, for something to come of it. I will say, with the 7 of swords, maybe be wary for any sense that he’s lying about something or even just be wary about what you say because small white lies can become big problems later on. But, I definitely see it as more of a determination thing, that theres a push to move forward with the relationship or at least a desire to.

Next is the 3 of cups which is about community, friendship and celebration. But it’s being clarified by the 7 of wands which is about perseverance and maintaining control. There is some sort of conflict here. With these two cards it might be that an issue would arise with a friend in relation to D. It could also just be a delay of sorts or that one or both of you place boundaries within the relationship that causes some friction. Whatever it is isn’t a deal breaker though because the 7 of wands is also about overcoming challenges so you will get through whatever this conflict is.

And then we have the last 3 cards. The 8 of wands, the 2 of wands and the king of pentacles. Firstly, just want to point out how many wands cards there are. wands are tied to the element of fire which is passionate and full of potential so it’s not a bad thing to see a lot of. Anyway, this 8 and 2 fucking pissed me off. The 8 of wands is about rapid action, quick decisions, fast movement. The 2 of wands is about planning and hesitating and deliberating. The man on the card wants to go out into the world but he’s just standing there thinking about it. They have entirely opposite energies and they both came out together. Then there’s the king of pents. The same king I saw at the bottom of the deck after the first lot of cards. He represents abundance and prosperity and security. He’s an indication of a great partner, someone who is supportive and dependable and generous, though he can be slow to make a commitment. It could be that D is deliberating himself, tossing up whether to suggest taking another step with you or waiting to see if you suggest it first. It definitely feels like he’s stuck between fast and slow though. Maybe he’s thinking about where things could go but doesn’t want to rush them?

Then I drew your oracle cards.

Your love oracle is Bianca Del Rio. She has three pieces of advice which i’ll give you though they might not all resonate.

A unicorn is a horse with extra potential / True love is clearly illegal in most states.../Everyone needs that special someone who can stroke your hair while you cough with your head in the toilet.

The two secret garden cards are:

Move: A rolling stone gathers no moss / Wallflower: Look for the crack in the concrete to find your way out

so again we have that idea of pushing forward

And then the two heart cards are:

Time - You are trying too hard. Give it time. / Wait! - Don’t rush into it. Allow nature to take its course.

So another message about going slow and taking your time and not rushing. honestly what the fuck

finally, i thought that maybe using another deck would give me something to actually work with. So i pulled 6 cards from my Friends themed deck and this is what i got:

9 of wands (again) / ace of pentacles ‘/ 10 of wands / the emperor / the chariot / temperance

the emperor is about perseverance, authority and control so with this under the 9 of wands (which as i said before is about resilience) theres a desire to move forward. Even in the face of a delay or a setback, this person is still pushing to move forward. It might be that one or both of you has experiences setbacks in love in the past and see this potential romance as the end of your trials and the beginning of something real, something better.

The ace of pentacles is another card about new opportunities and new beginnings and the prosperity they bring. The chariot is about control and willpower and moving forward. It’s where you currently are. This relationship is only beginning but theres a desire for it to go further.

And then we have the 10 of wands which is about success but its not an easy success. It’s also a bit of a burden or brings extra responsibility with it. And temperance under is is about patience and moderation and self-control. Theres a need to reduce pressure here, maybe to slow down. Go with the flow for a while and stop worrying about what is coming.

Hopefully all this has been helpful in some way? Honestly while i was drawing cards it just felt like i kept getting the same messages over and over so hopefully it resonates. If you have any specific questions or want me to try and clarify any points here, send me another message and i’ll see what i can tell you!

#this got LONK #i wasnt happy with anything i was drawing tbh #i like things to be more certain that what was coming up #anyway #there you go #card readings

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fifa21pcdownload · 4 years

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Fifa 21 PC Download

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badwolf-in-the-impala · 5 years

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~Come Away to The Water~

|| Chapter One - Dead of Winter ||

Inspiration: Come Away to the Water by Maroon 5 ft. Rozzi Crane

Storyboard Credit: Myself. Pictures not mine, but editing and collage is.

Pairings: Harald Finehair x OFC ((face claim - Sophie Turner))

Rating: Mature/18+

General warnings: Death, Violence, Gore, Graphic content, Abuse, Kidnapping, Sexual content.

Chapter warnings: Depictions of death, gory-ish details? Angst.

A/N: EDIT: SO, it’s been forever since I touched this story...Or well, posted anything for that fact lol but I finally found some inspo on where I wanna go with this story, so I’ve edited/added to the first chapter! I hope you guys enjoy! SHOUTOUT to @jacksonroseroth for your help, darlin’! New fic idea say waaaaa?! Anywho, thank you for taking a moment of your time to stop and read; it means a lot ^-^ Obviously this is a work of fiction, so I apologize if things aren’t 100% HISTORICALLY accurate. I’ve spent a lot of time researching the past few days trying to certain aspects as close as possible. So bare with me!

Feedback is always welcomed and much appreciated! I hope you guys enjoy! Also I want to add that the beginning italic is a flashback scene...Dialogue, bold and italic is to distinguish the language barrier between Rowan and Harald.

Word Count: 5099

-------------------------------------------------------------------

“Come away little lamb come away to the water Give yourself so we might live anew Come away little lamb come away to the slaughter”

~ “Do try nah to stray so far from the path this time, Rowan…” Her mother sighed deeply as she fastened the heavy black fur cloak around her daughters shoulders; settling a small sack of provisions in her hands. “It worries me’h.”

“Dinna worry yer’self, Ma.” Rowan smiled warmly, pressing a kiss to her mother’s cheek gently as she drew up the hood to cover her flame kissed hair. “I’ll be fine.”

The older woman cracked a small grin as she cupped her daughters cheek, patting it affectionately. “Y’er to much like y’er Da.” She shook her head lightly as she watched her daughter slip the bow over her head, settling it with the string across her chest before snatching up the quiver of arrows. “Jus’ be back ‘fore dark...There’s a storm comin’!”

“Aye, Ma.” Rowan chuckled softly with a roll over her Emerald eyes before placing a kiss atop each of her three younger siblings heads. “Behave yourselves, ya wee savages.” She teased lightly, earning a pair of giggles out of the two youngest. A set of identical twins of just barely five years.

“Are ye goin’ to bring us back a Stag, Rowey?!” Alana questioned excitedly.

“Aye, are ye, are ye?” Ainslie echoed as she bounced in her seat, equally as excited as her sister.

“I’ll most certainly try.” Rowan winked as she reached for the front door, pausing when she felt a slight tug on her cloak. Turning to find her youngest brother peering up at her sheepishly.

“C-Can I? P-Please?” He stuttered nervously, looking down at his feet as Rowan shook her head no.

“Nay. Not today, Findley.” She gave her youngest brothers shoulder a reassuring squeeze and ruffled his dark auburn hair, before leaning back to snatch a couple of bannocks off the table. “Perhaps after the storm passes...I’ll teach ye how to catch rabbits.”

“P-Promise?”

“Aye.” She grinned softly, earning a shy smile out of the young boy in return. “I promise.”

With a final goodbye to her mother and siblings, Rowan pushed open the creaky wooden door of the small stone and wood built bothy, that their large family of Six shared; stepping out into the frigid early morning air. Her leather and fur clad foot catching the back of her own twins leg, as she passed by. Tossing him the second bannock she held, causing him to pause mid-swing on the chunk of wood he had been about to split as he caught it. Beaming a smile as he thanked her around a mouthful of food.

“Spend some time with Finn today, eh?” Rowan called over her shoulder as she started towards the path that lead out of the Village and down towards the river. Turning back to shoot her brother a glare at the annoyed groan he gave her in return.

“Don’ make me tell Ma what ye’ve been gettin’ up to with Flora now, Kai! She threatened.

“Ye wouldn’t?!”

Rowan simply shrugged, throwing her brother a mischievous grin before trotting off down the path towards the water. Ignoring her brothers voice as he called after her. Begrudgingly agreeing that he would spend some time with Finn later.

The day continued on as normal as any other. Rowan took her time trekking through the woods, setting and checking snares along her usual path. A smile creeping onto her lips as she spied a set of tracks -- those of a stag -- just off the main trailhead.

It had been well over a month since she had brought home a Stag, or any other large game for that matter, and the thought of having fresh meat on the table again, made her mouth water. But more importantly the thought of seeing the smiles it would bring to her family’s faces made the aspect of the hunt seem all the more worthwhile as she reset her final snare. Taking a final glance around to get her bearings, before venturing off the beaten path and deeper into the forest.

Rowan tracked the animal well into the late afternoon before it was finally snowing too hard for her to safely venture any farther. The Stag having remained, teasingly, just out of her reach the entire time. Taunting her almost, as they trailed deeper and deeper into the woods until it was too late to turn back. Forcing her to seek shelter for the night in an abandoned den she stumbled across on the hunt.

The wind blew too fiercely for her to start a fire, which forced her to settle for pulling the thick fur cloak she wore around herself tightly, in an attempt to stay warm. Burrowing down into the fallen leaves and debris that surrounded her as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach...But she wasn’t quite able to place a finger on it.

This hadn’t been the first time she was caught out in a storm over night like this and never before had it been -- nor would it likely ever be -- an issue. Her father having taken extra care to teach her, as well as her twin brother, everything they needed to know about surviving in the wild, from a young age; Until his untimely death just a few short years ago. She knew how to take care of herself regardless of the situation...She would be fine.

But that still did little to quell the worry that settled in the back of her mind as Rowan sighed, clutching her cloak tighter around herself as she closed her eyes. Attempting to push the worry from her thoughts the best she could as she tried to make herself comfortable. She knew for certain that her mother and the wee ones would be worried sick that she had not returned yet, but that come first light, Kai would be out to meet her halfway on the trail just like he always did.

But for the time being, she was at the mercy of the Gods.

The weather had cleared come dawn, allowing Rowan to venture out from the safety of the den she called home for the night. Brushing away the moss and dries leaves from her clothes as she emerged with a stretch, pausing to grab a bannock and a piece of dried fish from the small sack of provisions she carried. Thankful that her mother had insisted upon her taking it with her as she nibbled away at it; beginning the trekk back towards her Village.

The ground was covered in a fresh layer of ankle deep snow, making the journey twice as long and twice as treacherous as it concealed many things beneath its shimmering surface -- like ice and root snarls -- that could pose a threat to a serious injury, if one was not sure of their footing. It made her that much more thankful she had spent so much of her youth exploring these woods with Kai and their father...It was her home away from home, and she knew it like the back of her hand. Which in turn helped her to make decent time on her return to the main path. It also made her more aware of things that most anyone else would often overlook naturally. Like how nature had suddenly fallen into an eerie silence as she stepped back onto the main path, noting how the snow was still fresh; untouched.

The uneasy feeling from the night before suddenly returned to settle in the pit of her stomach, tying it up in knots as she looked up at the sky. It was well past mid-morning and there were no signs that Kai had yet been there, which struck her as unusual. He was always waiting, no matter the hour.

A jolt of anxiety shot through her like lightning as she took off down the path, willing her feet to carry her faster as she broke through the treeline and out into the open. The silence around her deafening, aside from the sound of the River as she raced along its edge, wading the crossing swiftly, trying her best to ignore the icy sting of the water as it soaked her boots, only adding to her struggle as she stumbled up the snow slick hill that lead to her home...That surge of anxiety quickly morphing into fear as she watched thick plumes of black smoke billowing into the grey Winter sky.

Rowan’s heart nearly stopped as she crested over the top of the hill, a scream ripping from her lungs at the sight of the damage that lay before her. What was left of her people stood gathered round in a wash of tears, disbelief and despair. Their homes and outbuildings still blazed, while others only smoldered now; Reduced to rubble, or turned to ash. Their Livestock hung from trees and fences, slaughtered. All their stores of produce and provisions set aside for winter, gone.

Bodies lie butchered, scattered along the ground, tainting the once pure white snow a sickening shade of dark crimson. Her boots imprinting a trail of red in the snow behind her, as she ran towards her family’s home that still smoldered. Rowan ignoring the sting of burning flesh as she dug frantically at what remained of the building. Tears streaming down her face as she cried out for Mother and siblings.

“They’re gone, Rowan.” A neighbor approached quickly, grabbing her by the shoulders gently as he urged her away from the still crumbling building to safety. Rowan pulling away, stumbling a few feet where she fell to her knees at the sight of Kai’s body; lifeless on the ground. His dark hair and fair skin matted with drying blood...An axe protruding from the center of his chest.

“I-I’m s-s-or-ry…” A broken sob left her lips as she covered his blue eyes -- still widened with fear -- with her hand and slipped them closed.

“Ma--…The twins?”

The woman who approached her before, now shook her head. The look on her face a solemn one as she knelt beside the broken young woman before her, taking her forearms gently and pulling her up to her feet as she embraced her.

“The Danes took ‘em...Ye and Findley are all that’s left.”

“Findley?” The name fell as a hoarse whisper from her lips, as green eyes tried desperately to blink back tears as she pulled away to look up.

“Aye, he lives...But jus’ barely.” The woman grinned softly as she replied, though the gesture was less than hopeful. The woman raising a finger to silence Rowan as she knew what was about to come next.

“Ye can not see him jus’ yet, Lass.” She stated gently, with a soft pat against Rowan’s arms. “Let us go an’ take care of those burns first...”

Turning as the woman lead her away to one of the healers, Rowan gave a final glance at the carnage that lay all around her. Wondering what they had done to deserve such a senseless act of violence...Innocent families, women, children?

They had heard Tales of the vicious Northmen -- Danes as many called them -- that ruled over the Seas. Pillaging and plundering places of riches and nobility…But Rowan’s people were no more than simple farmers; hunters and fishermen. What would the Norsemen want with them?

Never once had her own people consider, that one day, they might set foot in the Highlands...Something that left them unprepared, and defenseless to the ruthless attack.

Leaving the place she called her homeland...Broken and in ruin.

Rowan’s chest heaved erratically as she sat bolt upright in her bed, clutching the furs to her chest as she swiped a hand across her forehead, finding it slick with sweat as she pushed back the fiery red locks that were matted to her skin. A sigh escaping her lips quietly. It had been quite some time since she’d had a nightmare about that fateful day...The day her family was so cruelly taken from her. It had been nearly five years now, but the wounds were still fresh in her mind like it had happened only yesterday.

Frowning to herself, Rowan pushed the furs from her body and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, shivering as her bare feet touched the cold dirt covered floor as she wrapped herself in one of the furs tightly as she walked to the window; pushing the shutter open. The sun had barely even begun to rise over the mountains, showering the glen in a twilight glow as it cast shadows through the trees. Everything around them lay quiet and completely still, as if basking in the arrival of a new day.

Pulling her gaze away from the rapid approach of dawn just outside their small home, Rowan turned and walked towards the fire on the opposite side of the room. Adjusting the fur into one hand as she added more kindling and wood to the glowing embers that resided in the hearth; kneeling and blowing gently until the fire blazed back to life.

Once she was satisfied with the heat emitted from the fire, Rowan stood and returned to the foot of her bed, opening the small wooden trunk that lie there as she began piecing together an outfit for the day. Dressing in her warmest pair of trousers and a light blue tunic made from a heavier wool material for added warmth. Securing it with a thin leather belt before tugging on her boots.

She discarded her night shirt into the wash pile before returning the fur to its place on her bed as she made it for the day. A small smile tugging at her lips as a pitiful low pitched whine caught her attention, turning to find the large gray wolf she called her companion, now sitting beside the fire. Having climbed down from her little brother’s bed; head tipped curiously as it watched her.

“Don’t be impatient, ya greedy breast. I dinna forget abou’ ye.” She quipped as she rummaged around for some bits of dried meat and bannocks to take out with her. Tossing the wolf a small chunk of meat she kept aside specifically for him, before throwing together a small pot of wheat porridge for Findley and setting it up over the fire to cook.

“Go on now.” She waved her hand to where her young brother still slept soundly. “Go an’ wake the boy.” The wolf gave a snort as it rose to all fours, giving a long stretch before the beast trotted across the room and leapt gracefully onto the bed. The large animal laying directly on top of Findlay as he commenced to licking the boys face repeatedly with it’s large tongue.

“Ugh, get off me ya brute!” Findley yelped out as he squirmed beneath the large animal, trying to push him off to no avail. Rowan chuckled softly, watching her brother struggle for a moment longer before she gave a sharp whistle to call him off. The wolf jumping down from the bed and coming over to sit beside her, accepting a small piece of bannock she offered before popping the last bite into her mouth with a grin. Her little brother glowered at her from the edge of his bed where he now sat upright.

“Good mornin’ to ye too, Fin.” She snickered with an amused grin.

“Mornin’...” Findley grumbled back crankily as he climbed out of bed and moved to warm himself beside the fire. Lifting the lid on the small pot briefly to inspect what was inside of it.

“Should be done soon.” Rowan stated as she moved to grab her heavy black fur cloak and pull it on, before gathering her game bag, bow and quiver. “I need to check the traps, so it’s up to ye to get the animals fed an’ taken care of. Can ye handle that?”

Findley gave a curt nod as he grabbed a bannock off the table and began devouring it. “Aye, I can handle it.” He spoke around a mouth full of food, Rowan rolling her eyes in response as she shook her head.

“Don’t talk with ye’r mouthful, ya heathen.” She chided with a playful grin before continuing. “If ye need help with anythin’, go an’ fetch young Turick to help ye. Got it?”

“Aye…” Findley sighed in annoyance with an eye roll, which in turn earned him a glare from his older sister. “I’m a cripple, Row, tha’ does not mean I’m useless.” He muttered self consciously as his right hand ventured absentmindedly to the stump of his left shoulder. A deep frown creasing his features.

“I never called ye useless, Fin.” Rowan stepped forward, reaching out to grasp his chin lightly and turn his attention back towards her. “I jus’ don’t want ye hurtin’ yer’self more than necessary...Besides, if ye hurt y’er good arm, who’s going to milk the cows?”

Findley swatted her hand away with a playful glare as he cracked half a smile. “I got it handled.” He reassured in a sarcastic tone, shooting her a real glare as she reached out and ruffled his red hair affectionately.

“I’ll be back this afternoon. Do try an’ stay out of trouble, eh?” Rowan called over her shoulder as she pushed the front door open and stepped out into the brisk morning air; wolf in tow as he trotted along beside her happily, as they mosied down the path.

The day came to pass quite quickly for Rowan and her furry companion, Faolan. The pair making quick work of checking and resetting snares, before venturing a little deeper into the woods in search of some smaller game, before returning to the village to go about finishing up evening chores; the workload increasing as signs of Spring steadily approached. Soon they would be tilling fields to plant their crops, tending to the animals that would soon produce offspring, making repairs to homes, building new boats for trading travels...The list was truly endless, and Rowan looked forward to the distractions that the work promised.

Winters had become exceptionally difficult since suffering the loss of nearly her entire family. Everyday a struggle against the guilt that she kept bottled up inside. Rowan somehow feeling responsible for what had happened to her family; to Fin. Constantly replaying that day over and over in her head. Always wondering if things could have turned out differently, had she stayed home that day with her family. Maybe she could have protected them...Or maybe she would’ve shared in their fate. But then what would have become of poor Findley?

Rowan sighed as they paused to rest beside a small stream. Faolan letting out a soft whine as he rested his head against her thigh; sensing her distress. A small smile tugging at her lips as she gave him an affectionate scratch behind the ears, his warm, intelligent brown eyes drifting shut for a moment as gave a contented sigh. Rowan silently thankful that the gods had granted such a wonderful guardian to watch over her and Findley. The wolf coming into their lives not long after the deaths of their kin. Just a pup himself when Rowan had stumbled upon him in the forest...Still clinging to his own mother and siblings who had long since perished from starvation and cold.

The village had been less than thrilled to say the least, when Rowan brought the small bundle of fur home. Several of the elder woman trying to advise her that the beast could would never be tamed nor broken; But they couldn’t have been more wrong. For Faolan had been the key that aided them in their journey to healing...And they his. The wolf having more than earned his keep around the village since becoming part of their broken pack.

“Suppose we should be gettin’ back, eh?” Rowan sighed softly as she gave the wolf a final pat on the head before standing. Gathering her game bag and slinging it over her shoulder as she turned her back to the steam. “Come, mo charaid…’Fore Fin starts worryin’.” Faolan let out a sharp series of yips in answer as he bounded from his spot, darting between the trees playfully for a moment before laying down a ways up the trail as he waited. Rowan letting out a small laugh at the wolfs antics as she quickened her pace, taking the hint as they hurried off. Head for their usual detour as they made the trek for home. ~

Dusk was approaching by the time the group finally reached the shores of a seeming desolate beach. The ships, as well as their men, battered from an unexpected storm that had caught them off guard a day prior. “We’ll camp here for now...Start salvaging what we can to make repairs come dawn, before continuing on to York.” Harald instructed once the boats had been pulled safely to shore; A fire started for the men to get warm as they assembled camp. Harald quick to assemble a plan for his men, in order to get moving again as soon as possible. Not pleased with the unexpected detour they had been forced to make on their journey to York.

“You three.” Harald turned to address a group of younger Viking men, who stood opposite him beside the fire. “Gather what wood you can; And you two,” He gestured towards a pair of more experienced men, usually assigned to watch. “Survey the area...I do not want any more unexpected surprises.” The men nodded, accepting their assigned duties before dismissing themselves. Harald letting out a sigh as he turned for one of the tents that had already been assembled...Taking a seat and grabbing a cup of mead, trying to quell his frustrations as he watched his men continue to set up camp. While Harald drank his frustrations away, the two experienced men set off up the beach, climbing the dunes on the beach and venturing into the forest beyond.

“Fine time to set up camp…” The first man grumbled as they trudged the Scottish land. The second man grunted in response as they settled on a spot and began building a small fire. The warmth from the flames doing little to warm the chill that had settled in their bones. “The cold here is different...I don’t like it.”

“They say we’re the heathens.” The first man chuckled. “Pass us the ale…” The second man obliged his friends request. Reaching over to grab the ale horn from beside his axe, taking a swig himself before passing it over and returning his hands to warm by the fire. As the men chatted away, Rowan made her way to the beach, stopping and dropping to the ground when she spotted the men encamped on the beach. Swearing in Gaelic, she gripped the scruff at Faolan’s neck to make sure he didn’t growl and give their position away. She took her bag off and strapped it around the beast’s.

“Go home, Faolan. I’ll be right behind ye.” Rowan whispered. The wolf let out a small whine before he turned away, making his way back to the village while Rowan stayed, counting the men so she could give an accurate report to the village elders. When her eyes met Harald’s, Rowan ducked and crawled along the brush until she was far enough into the foliage before she stood and hurried along behind Faolan.

“What was that?” The first man asked, looking up at the sound of twigs snapping. He reached down, fingers wrapping around the axe at his side as he scanned the surrounding area, looking for movement. Both men saw the flash of gray fur pass quickly by, followed by a flame of red hair; Visible even in the darkness. The second man motioned for the first to split off towards the left, while he tracked the intruders on the right. Trailing silently after them into the darkness of the woods, but eventually losing sight as the darkness became too much; Slowing their progress significantly.

“Go.” The second man ordered quietly, gesturing back towards the beach. “Tell King Harald what we’ve found, and assemble more men for a search. I will try and the trail.” The first man nodded and turned back towards camp. Leaving his companion to assemble a torch and continue the search.

Meanwhile, Rowan continued to move swiftly through the darkness. Picking her way carefully over fallen debris and tangled tree roots as she strayed away from the main trail; attempting to lose the enemies who likely now pursued her, as she fled towards her village. Hoping she would have enough time to warn her people of a potential attack before it was too late. Anger and fear building inside of her chest as she pushed herself harder, bound and determined to not let her people suffer through another attack like they had all those years ago.

The sound of twigs snapping several feet away from behind her, made Rowan turn, a knot forming in her stomach as she spotted the faint glow of a torch coming over the small rise she had just climbed. Ducking behind a tree, she shielded herself from sight momentarily as she closed her eyes...Rowan’s heart sinking as she came to the realization that she would be unable to return to her village safely, without risking the exposure of their location to a potential attack. She knew what she had to do, but that didn’t make the choice any easier as she let out a soft, shaky sigh. Opening her green eyes as slipped the bow over her head carefully, and nocked an arrow. Sending up a silent prayer for the gods to protect her family — her people — before drawing back the sting of her bow, and stepping into the open. A steady breath leaving her lips as she released the arrow towards its target, the startled yelp that followed signaling that she had struck her target.

Rowan using the distraction as her opportunity to change directions, doubling back, as she began leading her enemy away from her village, and deeper into the woods. Another arrow nocked and ready to fire as she neared the next ridge; ducking behind another tree as she waited for the torch to appear again...Her heart rate quickening when she turned to find that the light had been extinguished. A wave of panic washed over her as she struggled to pick up on the faint footsteps that rustled from somewhere in the darkness. Unable to determine what direction they were coming from, Rowan was left to make a split decision, as she darted from behind the tree, hoping she could make a break for the treeline.

The flash of red hair was all they needed, as Harald gave the signal for their own archer to take a shot; the man loosing the arrow as the rest of the men relit their torches. Harald watching as the form stumbled in the darkness, but only for a moment before darting off once more. A smirk creeping onto his lips as they took up their pursuit once more, driving their prey back towards the edge of the forest, where more of his men lie in wait to capture whoever it was that they had been chasing all over the woods...But the small victory soon faded from his thoughts as bone chilling howl pierced the silence, followed by a series of snarls and growls that brought the group to a stand still.

Rowan stumbled as she ran through the treeline and out into the open, coming to stop as she was greeted by a rather unwelcoming sight, as a group of men closed in on her. Rowan quick to draw back the string of her bow in defense, ignoring the searing pain in her shoulder the action caused, from having been struck by an arrow herself. The edges of her lips quirking into a faint smirk as she heard the howl that broke the silence and caused several of the men to glance towards the treeline; Searching. Rowan seizing the opportunity to loose her arrow into the man nearest to her, watching as he crumpled to the ground as the arrow struck him between the eyes, her next arrow nocked before the man had even full collided with the earth. Another man lunged towards her, catching the second arrow as a series of shouts broke out amongst the group of men in front of her...Their words foreign to her as they spoke.

“Come on. Come get me, ye heathens…” She said with a smirk, fingering the feather fletching of her arrow. Rowan readied her bow again, waiting for the next victim to step forward and make their move. She knew that she stood very little chance against these men, but that didn’t mean that she would go down without a fight. Another series of shouts erupted from the woods, causing Rowan to turn and glance over her shoulder as the shouts quickly dissolved into one horrified scream that was followed by vicious snarling and the sounds of teeth ripping into flesh. Another man used her distraction to strike her with the hilt of his sword; sending Rowan to the ground as her vision blurred around the edges. A foot kicking her bow out of her reach as it approached from behind. Rowan struggling to focus on the man’s face as she glanced up, recognizing him as the man from the beach.

“Bind her and take her back to the beach.” Harald ordered as surveyed the two dead men that lie on the ground in front of him, before turning his attention to look down at the fiery haired woman who struggled against the two vikings who hauled her to her feet before their King. Allowing him a brief moment to examine her more closely as he grasped her jaw tightly, forcing her to look at him; Rowan’s eyes struggling to maintain focus as the edges over her vision started to turn black...The last thing she saw being a flash of gray fur, followed by nothing.

------------------------------

So that’s the first chapter! I hope ya’ll liked it...I also wanna add ((don’t quote me on it as I used google traslate)) that Mo charaid means ‘My friend’ Gaelic. And Faolan means Little Wolf.

Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist for future updates!

MASTER TAGLIST: @jacksonroth @greennightspider @captstefanbrandt @microsmacrosandneedles @irishhiggins @naaladareia @liiv0urlifee @readsalot73 @readsalot73 @londoncharlotte88 @theworld-is-ahead @zazasblogxx @ly–canthrope @harjumus @jade770 @that-goodgirl @xxwarhawk @stacie-marie-bloom @journeyrose @theskinofmyemotions @synnersaint @12grimauldp @sympathyfortheblinderdevil @ilooklikeididyesterday @inforapound

#Vikings #Harald Finehair #Peter Franzen #Viking fanfic #Harald Finehair x OC #Writing #Fanfiction #Vikings fandom #King Harald Finehair

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davetheshady · 5 years

Note

may I politely request ⭐dealer's choice director's commentary⭐for pretty much any part of Love is All You Need to Destroy Your Enemies?

Did you mean: infodump about Chapter 5?

We start off in medias res during Pteranodon Attack-Gate from Episode 4: PTA Meeting. Since most of the fic runs parallel to WTNV’s storyline for the first ~two years, the way I narrowed down which events to feature was to read through the transcripts and take note of which ones had Carlos, which ones featured science/magic/time travel-related elements, which ones had weird discrepancies or unsolved details that could be explained by Carlos/science/magic/time travel/all of the above, and which ones I just liked a lot.

Incidentally, Cecil issues a correction that the winged reptiles in question were actually pterodactyls, not pteranodons, which was then promptly forgotten by the showrunners lol.

"—And then Kelly pulled her hamstring while they were doing the Fixing of a Nail position. I'm trying to convince her that she and Joe should do yoga together, I think it would really cut back on minor injuries and also they both look great in yoga pants. Anything new with you, Carlos?"

"Nothing that compares to... hamstring injuries," says Carlos, from his position on top of the Sciencemobile.

"All right," says Kate, adjusting an enormous pair of mirrored aviator shades. "Then describe the Barstow formation."

Since literal character doubling was such an important part of the plot, I had a lot of fun with thematic character doubling, too. Carlos and Kate (and the other grad students) are actually pretty close in age, and here we see her willing to put herself into danger to get the job done while casually chatting with her colleagues. Also, there’s a nice dose of karma for the books in Carlos having to deal with someone else oversharing details about their relationships, compounded by the fact that unlike his all of Kate’s are actually true. (In nicer doubling news: Kate is the one who gets her degree in science, has functional romantic relationships, AND continues to work in Night Vale, which are all eventually Carlos’ hashtag life goals.)

"Maybe it was future you," asks Julie, who does not sound appropriately concerned for the potentially diverted course of the Currents of Time. Or for the potentially diverted course of the already unlinear life of Carlos.

This is the first conversation where she’s ‘Julie’ in his mental narration. I enjoyed having her be hilariously unsympathetic to his concerns here, because her priorities are still very different, but it also sets up a baseline. She doesn’t bother worrying about hypotheticals from the weird shit, but actual hard data (like, Carlos not sleeping and having minor breakdowns in her lab) is what prompts her to share reactions besides SCIENCE! and snark.

His stomach roils at the thought of more time travel. "Some kind of illusion is more likely," he says: some person or creature temporarily assuming his form, probably for sinister purposes. He reluctantly adds those weird doubles from the sandstorm to his list of possible suspects, though his dissolved right in front of him in the middle of next March and there haven't been any sandstorms recently.

oh hey haha what’s that

One of my biggest pet peeves in fiction is when allegedly intelligent characters ignore obvious plot points so the writer can railroad the story in their chosen direction. On the other hand, it is genuinely difficult to avoid spoiling your plot twists if your main character is actively trying to figure them out. I leaned heavily on “the character has all the basic details… along with so much other information they can’t realistically narrow it down”, combined with some red herrings: an obvious one (illusion magic) and hopefully a more convincing one (time travel as the only relevant plot: it's DEFINITELY involved, but its presence is obscuring another facet of the plot altogether).

There's always a risk that astute readers will figure it out, but, like… so? That just means instead of shocking plot twist reveal, they get an “I KNEW IT!” reveal, which is equally satisfying in a different way. As long as the characters have convincing reasons for not figuring it out, it's hopefully still enjoyable to follow along with them as they wander around in the dark.

(And just for clarification: that was Doppel-Carlos crashing the town hall meeting when he and Dr. Raith were testing out time vortices.)

Andre hands him a copy of the Night Vale Daily Journal. “’Look your best to face the void. Smooth-chinned souls are most enjoyed’,” reads Carlos. “‘Burma-Shave.’”

"No, below the ads," says Andre.

1) ‘character reads wrong piece of information in paper’ is a classic goof (“There’s a sale at Penney’s!”) and I found it very amusing to repeatedly attribute it to Carlos, since he’s genuinely trying to locate the important information. Unfortunately for him, he lives in Night Vale and no longer has a filter for “useless nonsense”, because even the nonsense has proven relevant and/or kinda murdery before.

2) Burma-Shave! This was passed down to me as part of our Great American Roadtrip Family Lore (I come from a long line of roadtrippers) and it’s definitely the kind of kitschy 50s detail that fits so well in Night Vale.

"Oh!" says Cecil. "What were you studying?"

"Bioremediation for contaminated pit lakes via sulfur-reducing bacteria," says Carlos truthfully.

Why? Because I edited one of my friends’ papers on it, that’s why. (Birds kept landing on it and dying, which is also a very Night Vale detail.)

When he returns, he finds Cecil standing by the record player with his back against the wall, staring fixedly at Carlos’ vinyl copy of Ixnay on the Hombre.

One of the DF books (I think White Night) had a hilariously high number of characters showing up wearing band t-shirts, and Carlos’ was for The Offspring. (The original file name for this fic was Original Prankster, back when I thought it would be three chapters long.)

“It’s about a wizard stranded in a strange, uncharted desert territory,” [Cactus Judy] says serenely.

Cactus Jane! I decided to make her a recurring character because 1) she’s in a time travel episode (Episode 18: The Traveler), 2) both she and TMITJ had the detail where no one can remember their real name, which seemed significant, and 3) WTNV itself did not have very many recurring female characters at that point. She’s into Shakespeare because I personally knew a lot of relevant Shakespeare quotes, but also as a hint that’s she’s a lot older (and thus a lot more supernatural) than she seems: Shakespeare was a HUGE part of pop culture in the 19th century, particularly in the southwest. Theater companies used to make more money going on tour through states with precious metal mines than they did during their whole season in the big coastal cities, probably because jaded city folks never threw gold nuggets on stage to show their appreciation.

If life is a contest between good and evil, Cecil would be one of the people handing out stickers just for participating.

This is one of my favorite lines.

My plan is fool-proof! It's sheer elegance in its simplicity!

Look, if you enjoyed this fic, WTNV, and/or The Dresden Files, you should probably go watch The Middleman. Yes, I know it’s not streaming, do it anyway. Load up on antivenom and go rent it from your local library.

“Could you [create a time vortex]?""Oh, for sure," says Carlos. "All I'd need would be a couple years to do nothing but work on a highly illegal spell and figure out a way to steal an entire ley-line's worth of power and excise my sense of morality and self-preservation.”

And WHAT are the odds of THAT

It's not that Carlos doesn't like him. It just wouldn't be fair to lead him on when Carlos wouldn't actually—

Well, Carlos wouldn’t mind asking but he doesn’t normally go for—

Okay, Carlos could definitely make an exception for Cecil and—

And—

oh NO he accidentally used logic to make himself admit he has FEELINGS

One of the reasons I love this pairing is that you have Cecil, who is incredibly emotionally open (all the time, on public radio) as a distinct contrast to Carlos, who is so used to putting up a very specific facade that he even does it to himself and then struggles when he doesn't have it to rely on. It creates conflict, but it also means they have very different perspective they can share with each other.

"Did the earth move for you, too?" says Cecil.

"Bwuh?" replies Carlos.

"At the monitoring station," says Cecil, because right, they're talking about science and not about how Carlos may or may not have accidentally developed a tiny, tiny crush on Cecil, who is standing right in front of him and looking extremely interested in what he's saying and will commit his words to memory and lovingly repeat them for all the world, or at least all of Night Vale and anyone else who received the same odd death curse as Carlos, to hear.

"Oh. Hmm – unh," replies Carlos, then shakes his head. Not talking, that's the way to go. That way he won't accidentally say something he doesn't mean, or worse, something he does mean but probably shouldn't say. Cecil can ask him science questions and he can shake his head yes or no, and maybe refer him wordlessly to supplementary materials, and it will all be very professional and—

"Where did you get your shirt?" asks Cecil. "It fits you so well."

"I'll look at my notes and computer models and see if I can figure out what's going on," Carlos blurts out, and practically runs from the room.

One of the reasons I started writing this fic (SEPTEMBER 2013, BABY god I feel old) was because we all knew Carlos was immensely important to Cecil, but had relatively little information about him, and ALL of it was filtered through our unreliable narrator. So… I just kind of ran with that.

But on top of the obvious unreliability of “didn't notice Carlos was a wizard from a different series”, I wanted to do it on the smaller scale, too, and put a different spin on the touchstones of their growing relationship that everyone was already familiar with. So this interaction is now a crisis for both of them, and for dramatically/hilariously different reasons.

“If you’re worried about going native, I’ve got bad news for you, buddy, because you do more chanting than anyone I’ve met.”

Another one of my favorite lines.

“I’ve had to hunt down people I know before, and trust me, it’s not a fun date night!”

Between Molly and fanon interpretations of Cecil, Carlos’ type is apparently 1) weird tattoos, 2) unusually-colored hair, and 3) can kill him

There's a brief hiss from the TV's speakers, and then Cecil says, in a small, forlorn voice, “I don't know if he listens to me, sometimes.”

Carlos puts his head down and laughs bitterly.

I LOVE IRONY

But even though I wanted to subvert the surface meaning, Cecil DOES still have a point. He got a good look at Carlos’ soul when they first met and still fell in love instantly, but Carlos has a difficult time hearing that because at this point he fundamentally does not believe he’s worthy of that kind of love. In order to truly believe Cecil, he also has to start learning to love and accept himself. (It’s very much a work in progress, but nobody’s perfect.) The title isn’t just meant to refer to romantic love – self-love, friendship, familial love, and unconditional love for the humanity of his trash fire town are equally important, because they all support each other.

hmu for more dvd commentary!

#thusjuniperus #love is all you need to destroy your enemies #Welcome to Night Vale #ask dave #the dresden files #fic #writing

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piesforjack · 7 years

Note

there's a lot of back and forth with this where Kent was both Jack's first and closest best friend and also Bitty was the first person he was romantically in love with and yet even with Bitty jack wasn't really aware of how he felt till last minute. Considering it is already hard enough to differ romantic/platonic love when one is highly emotionally intelligent and Jack isn't by a long shot and Jack has been an unreliable narrator before its still hard to know just what the relationship was.

"You know when it’s the last summer of your childhood and you’re just hanging with your bro and you’re smoothing out his cowlick and you fondly call him Kenny while trying not to think about how mercilessly cruel fate is lol you know bros being bros" the same as "I didn't even know we were dating" Camilia

––reflect how the artist views Parse, which is sympathetically. Not to mention in her notes, she frames their summer fling as being emotionally significant to not just Parse, but also Jack. The scene that you point out of Jack telling Bitty about his exes shows a skewed narrative bias in that either Bitty, because he dislikes K, minimizes his importance to Jack (thru the meta narrative of the comic) OR (sorry these are long, i don't mean to be contrary) (2)

(srsly sorry for spamming ur inbox) OR Jack has compartmentalized and reduced the emotional remembrance of his relationship with K to cope with both his NDE and his abusive relationship with K. I say all that to say I completely agree that a relationship between Jack and K*nt is VERY unhealthy, but that Jack's own feelings towards K have been downplayed because K will still have a significant narrative impact. (3)

Again sorry for spamming ur inbox with these. I do agree with most of your post!! And this #confirmed isn't the last we've seen of K*nt. (4)

idk when you sent all the messages (not even sure if the first on IS your original message anyway????) but i’m JUST seeing these now. ANYWAY.

so like. i see what you’re trying to say here, but i still gotta like. push back against this a bit.

“in her notes, she frames their summer fling as being emotionally significant to not just Parse, but also Jack”

The scene that you point out of Jack telling Bitty about his exes shows a skewed narrative bias in that either Bitty, because he dislikes K, minimizes his importance to Jack (thru the meta narrative of the comic)

obviously we know bitty is an unreliable narrator, and ngozi has made it clear that what jack and p*rse had was significant in some ways (first sexual partner, i can assume, first boy he ever kissed we assume, lots of firsts and lots of fumbling weird teenager-y beginnings etc), but it’s definitely not as significant as the scale people pretend it to be. the thing that i think is the biggest difference is that, for jack? what he had with k*nt and camilla was equal (but different.) hear me out:

we know jack and p*rse were best friends and that jack cared for him deeply at the time, but this direct parallel of “didn’t even know we were dating” camilla and “it really wasn’t more than anything physical” k*nt narratively illustrates that jack views these situations as separate but equal. jack was never in love with p*rse. we can assume (i mean we know but for arguments sake lets say it’s meta) he didn’t love camilla either. both relationships were purely physical and/or loosely resembled dating from the other persons perspective (ie. not from jack’s POV). from that we can gather that jack never considered these to be romantic relationships, even if he felt fondly of k*nt or enjoyed spending time with camilla. jack’s disconnect between romance and friendship vs how he views things with bitty is everything you need to know.

(this isn’t me comparing the relationships, bc one was obviously unhealthy and not even a defined romantic relationship, whereas the other is a committed exclusive partnership--rather this is an exemplar of jack’s interpretation of both relationships as separate and unequal in terms of quality and definition)

Considering it is already hard enough to differ romantic/platonic love when one is highly emotionally intelligent and Jack isn't by a long shot and Jack has been an unreliable narrator before its still hard to know just what the relationship was.

ok i would argue heavily with the sentiment that jack isn’t highly emotionally intelligent because he’s proven time and time again that while he isn’t perfect he’s more aware than people like to believe he is. the ability to control emotions is a huge component of this particular intelligence, even more so than the expression of emotions. for example, we all know people who are emotionally sporadic, they go from happy to sad to angry to guilty all in the span of a 10 minute window. these people, though emotionally expressive and (usually) empathetic to a fault, they don’t exhibit high emotional intelligence. jack has shown over and over again that, while he can be unthinkingly insensitive and a bit cold, he’s very in tune with other peoples emotions, which is why his rudeness to bitty was so shocking and hurtful--he knows how to cut to the quick, he knows what buttons to press, how to hurt people in specific and painful ways (“it was a lucky shot”) but on the other side of that coin he also knows how to be supportive and attentive to peoples needs (pep talks and hanging around with the haus boys, all of whom are emotional and expressive, and shitty, my lord, his best friend shitty, if that doesn’t prove how not robotic and emotionally devoid jack is then idk what could.) that combined with the fact that jack is so firmly in control of his emotional expressiveness (especially including the fact that he has a history of mental illness) shows incredible resilience and deep understanding of his mental and emotional processes (ie. jack knows jack best)

((also i can already hear the “um but he didn’t realize he liked bitty until like tHe LaSt SeCoNd!!!” argument and i know i know!!!!! but i believe his ~realization~ moment was more him understanding that letting go of bitty was something he didn’t want to/have to do. i think he already knew he was sweet on bitty and that he liked him more than he allowed himself to believe. but i think his dad/gretzsky pep talk gave him the nudge, the final push to see it clearly, more of a realization of “you don’t have to leave and wonder what could’ve been, you can have all this and heaven too. you’ll never know if you never try.))

so to say that jack is essentially too blind to emotional intelligence to know the difference between his relationship with k*nt and a romantic relationship...a touch absurd and wholly inaccurate.

OR Jack has compartmentalized and reduced the emotional remembrance of his relationship with K to cope with both his NDE and his abusive relationship with K.

this, for me, is a bit of a reach. ofc this is valid and very real, it could happen, trauma does awful things to people. however, i feel like pulling this as the reason he brushes off his not-relationship with k*nt greatly undermines the fact that jack has gone through so much. he’s had years to think about and discuss these things through therapy and rehab. i think to say that p*rse is so inexplicably linked to jack’s NDE that jack compartmentalized or repressed the actuality of that relationship is...inaccurate, given the context we have.

yes, jack cut k*nt out of his life before or after the OD, and so we can assume there was some connection there between the two events (OD and cutting k*nt out) HOWEVER, i think it greatly over-simplifies this trauma. to think that jack would come away from a NDE and thusly cope by cutting k*nt out seems to imply that k*nt wasn’t actualized as abusive until post-NDE, which makes very little sense when we look at the canonical timeline and the emotional and mental vulnerability jack would be in after trauma like that. alternatively, if jack cut k*nt out of his life pre NDE, it’s even LESS likely to be associated as one unifying repression (i speak only from my own experiences with trauma, i feel like that’s important to say) simply because that implies jack’s OD was in relation or as a result of that action.

i’m guess what i’m saying for this point is: yes it’s possible but i don’t think that’s what happened, if only because both scenarios are too p*rse centric and would revolve around p*rse to the point that it minimizes jack’s illness and trauma, which are both huge focal points surrounding jack’s OD.

I say all that to say I completely agree that a relationship between Jack and K*nt is VERY unhealthy, but that Jack's own feelings towards K have been downplayed because K will still have a significant narrative impact.

i have to disagree again. do i think k*nt is an antagonist? absolutely! but so is southern homophobia, bitty’s procrastination, and the entire nhl organization. so. yes, i’m sure k*nt will play a role in the playing out of yr 4, but i have to stress this again: this is bitty’s story. p*rse, no matter how much we link him to jack and jack’s history and jack’s narrative, will ALWAYS BE a background or side plot storyline to whatever is prevalent in BITTY’S world. that’s as a result of an unreliable narrator and also the fact that, unless p*rse begins to overlap into bitty’s life more than he has in the past, we’ll only see the peripheral view of him (which can’t be told through unreliable narration as it’s told through that of the author (ngozi) rather than bitty bc obviously bits isn’t omnipotent lol)

i’m sorry this is soooo fuckin long, it’s also super late/early? so i’m sorry if it doesn’t make 100% coherent sense, i had no intentions of writing this much but alas! it got away from me.

thanks for your thoughts, i hope i’m making any sense in here xx

#mine #kent mention #Anonymous

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chaoticneutralwriter · 7 years

Text

Playing with Fire | m.yg

So you summon a witch, not prepared to get burned.

firewitch!suga/yoongi short/drabble?/oneshot?

genre: some comedic aspects and idk loll

word count: 2.7k

A/N: In spirit of Halloween lol??? 🎃 I just thought he looked the part from this picture 😆

This was a horrible idea. Awful, horrendous, stupid, idiotic and every word in the dictionary that expresses ’no one should do this unless you’re that dumb’.

Or maybe a little crazy. You certainly are questioning your sanity at this point as you make your way down this back alley, alone, and not to mention at night. You’re very close to bashing your head against the brick walls, comically thinking that you would be doing any potential killer a favour as well as yourself (if you’re going to get killed because of your own stupidity, you’ll smash your own brains against the wall on your own volition, so no Jason, you’re not interested in getting dismembered and stuffed into a garbage bag, thank you very much).

But then that begs the question; why are you not turning back? You still had a chance; to turn tail and run the hell out of this shady ass, potential murder scene, and horror movie of a cliché alleyway like a smart person. So why haven’t you? Well… you know what they say, desperate times calls for desperate measures. And safe to say, you were really desperate…and maybe two percent curious because who started this rumour about a witch haunting this specific alleyway? A ghost of a murder victim would’ve been more plausible but a witch. The idea makes you scoff and admittedly makes you feel better about yourself because clearly, there’s someone out there who’s more idiotic than you are until you think, but who’s the one about one hair away from ending up on the 8 o’clock news chasing said witch rumours?

Whatever, you’re halfway down the alley now and just about two steps away from the supposed ‘hotspot’. So you hurry your pace although still keeping the sound of your steps to a bare minimum. The faster you do this the faster you can be out of here and if this doesn’t work, no one will know you were ever here.

You spot the markings on the brick wall, looking very much worn and faded and to most people, could’ve been brushed off as just random graffiti done by some delinquent. Thanks to some deep, digging in the cult side of the web however, you’re knowledgeable enough to not think such things.

Okay…. You think, glancing down at your watch: midnight. Time to do this thing.

From the inside of your bag, you brandish the necessary items that would supposedly summon the witch. First was a single black rose, one, which, from the instructions you found, you needed to burn. So with the rose in one hand, you brandish a lighter in the other. Flicking it once, a flame ignites and as you held the blossoms of the rose in the small flame, it has no trouble catching fire soon after. As the rose burns, you carefully set it on the concrete and let it work its course. Once the flower is completely reduced to ashes, you sweep the remains up as best you can to form a decent pile. You wet your fingertips a bit from the water bottle you brought and taking a bit of the ashes; turn it into a somewhat pasty consistency to complete the faded markings on the wall.

As you complete the drawing, you see that it actually forms a pentagram (of course) with smaller symbols at the five corners. You take the chance to gulp; you’re halfway through finishing the process. All that’s left was to prick your finger, swipe the blood across each fingertips and press it over the pentagram…. Oh yeah and say a bunch of mumbo jumbo. So as you smear the blood on your pricked finger to coat the rest of the other ones, you pull out your phone to where you bookmarked the magic words.

You draw in a breath and let it out before slowly, you pressed your bloodied fingers so that they were touching the markings on the wall.

“Fire in thy blood, I summon thee. From my ashes, I offer myself in exchange for your flame. Fire in thy blood, I summon thee!”

You freeze, waiting for something to happen after you said that final note. It was so quiet that you would be able to hear a pin drop and all around you, the street lamps continue to cast ominous shadows.

A beat.

And then the lights start to flicker, making you gasp as you shoot your gaze up to them. For a moment, your hand remains glued to the wall as you pray vehemently for the only source of light to remain strong because like hell you’re gonna stay here in total complete darkness.

Unfortunately, your prayers weren’t answered.

The lights dim till they die out completely, plunging you into darkness and your heart just about leaps to your throat. You don’t dare to breathe as all your senses go into hyper drive, trying to discern whether or not you should stay or get the hell out of there in a split second notice. You listen but hear nothing, not even the sound of the streets at night and you’re not sure whether that’s comforting or worrying.

What were only mere minutes felt like an eternity to you before the lights spring back to life, illuminating your surroundings and it took you a second to adjust to the sudden brightness. Your head whips around you, body pressed against the brick wall as if willing it to swallow you if it meant protecting you from whatever oncoming danger you weren’t aware of. But from what you gather, nothing had changed. Time seems to have resumed, you faintly hear the passing of cars, and you were still very much alone.

You breathe out and whisper to yourself, “Thank God… “ Before you straighten yourself up, shaking the nerves out of your system. “Well,” you continue, more to yourself as you inspect your dirtied hands begrudgingly, “that was a total waste of ti— “

A loud crash causes you to let out an equally loud yelp, making you jump and nearly crash against the wall from the force of it. Your eyes dart to find the source in panic, mind going into fight or flight mode once again until they settle onto the dumpster where something black emerges from behind.

“Oh my God!” You wheeze out, hand clutching your chest at your pounding heart. “Seriously cat! What the hell!”

The black feline only stares at you blankly with its topaz eyes, clearly not bothered by the fact that it gave you an almost-heart attack. You’ve just about had it with the events of tonight, you’re ready to just go home, fall onto your bed and forget about how stupid this had all be—

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t yell at Smokey, he’s sensitive.”

“GYEH!” Another undignified yelp and you vaguely hear a muttered, “Aish you’re loud…” but that’s the second almost-heart attack of the night and you’re sure if you get another one, that’ll make it a complete heart attack that you would actually die from. Immediately you spot a mop of red just a few steps in front of you; so glaringly red that you could swear you would’ve noticed even if you were close to pissing yourself scared at the moment. You trace the red down to a face and double take because…. wow what a face. Skin as smooth and pale as porcelain, completely void of any blemish with a pair of sharp, dark eyes that… were currently staring at you.

Oh…. You’re staring…

Or more like straight out gaping at this man that appeared from out of nowhere. He’s watching you with a really bored, unamused look, face resting against one hand propped up on a knee from his current seat on a curb by a set of stairs. He’s dressed to impress and rightfully so because you can’t help but notice that the design on his button-up matches the colour of his hair (which is really impressive).

“Are you just gonna stare all night or can I go?” His deep timber breaks you from your thoughts and you’re left floundering for words.

“Uhh….” Your eyes glance around, unsure of what to make of this turn of events. “…Who are you exactly?”

He raises an eyebrow at you in disbelief. “Seriously?”

When your shifty gaze was his answer, he sighs and mutters more things under his breath before shooting you a piercing look. “You’re the one who summoned me, so would you hurry and spit out your wish? My pasta is getting cold.”

It takes a while for what he says to sink in and by the time it does, you’re absolutely flabbergasted. “So… You’re saying… You’re the witch?” You enunciate the words slowly as if you’re not even convinced of what you’re saying (spoilers: you’re not). The red head in front you sees it too because he rolls his eyes before getting up.

“You know what, never mind. I’m going home.”

“No wait!” You spring into action as he begins to walk off. Logically speaking, you should’ve let him but you’ve already come this far and if he really is the ‘witch’ rumours has it then you still need your problem fixed. He stops and shoots a look over his shoulder that clearly says you’ve got about ten seconds before he loses interest again.

“Sorry, I’m just…caught off guard.” You say, “I wasn’t expecting…. well actually I didn’t know what I was expecting when I did this but when people say ‘witch’, it’s usually— “

“Some old hag who cackles over a cauldron, wearing all black and a pointy hat and rides around on a broom. I get it.” He cuts you off like he’s heard this a million times (probably has). “So are you gonna state your business or can I go home?”

You steel yourself before mustering up the courage to say, “If you’re who you claim to be,” The man in front of you rolls his eyes again. “Then I wish to know my future.”

Silence; all he does is stare at you with a look you can’t read and as you’re starting to feel self-conscious under his gaze, his monotone cuts through the stifling air. “That’s it?”

You blink, “…. Yes?”

“And what would you offer me in return?”

Oh crap…. Didn’t think that one through…

You gulp; you’re so gonna regret this. “Whatever you see fit.”

That causes him to raise an eyebrow, this time out of intrigue. “So anything?”

“…Anything.” You confirm, squaring your shoulders and hardening your stare to show that you meant it. You see a glint in his eyes as he turns to you fully, eyeing you like a cat who’s just spotted its next plaything. And then he’s striding towards you in languid steps, slowly making you feel more and more like the cornered prey he’s about to pounce on. But you hold your ground; you need to show him that you’re not afraid, willing to commit and that you’re serious. Still, it doesn’t stop the breath from hitching in your throat once he’s stopped just mere inches from you, so close you can actually feel his body heat and you had to tilt your head up to meet his unwavering gaze.

You stiffen as you see him raise a hand to brush the hair along the side of your face. Your eyes wants to watch what his hand is doing but they were automatically pulled back to meet his, as if some invisible force willed them to. And you’re easily sucked in; eyes like the darkest of nights that hold so many secrets to the world and so frigid, like you’re drowning in icy waters that are only pulling you deeper, deeper, until—

“Ow!”

The stinging pain effectively snaps you out of your trance and it takes you a minute to realize that the man with bright red hair had yanked out a few strands of your hair. He steps away from you, strands in hand and a rather pleased look on his face.

“What was that for?” You hiss, rubbing the side of your head but all he does is hold up a finger to shush you in response. You watch him bring the strands of hair to eye level and right in front of you, they catch fire. You can only gawk as you watch the flame burn, engulfing the man’s whole palm and yet there was no signs of burning flesh or pain. He watches as it flickers with immense concentration until he ultimately smothers the fire by closing his palm.

“Three questions.” He abruptly says.

“What?”

He holds up three fingers. “You have three questions to ask about your future. That’s it.”

“Hey that’s not—“

“Three questions or none; up to you.”

You huff. “Fine…. Will I find my dream job?”

His eyes wander upwards before he says, “Yes.”

“Okay…” You breathe, “Will I be happy?”

His eyes trail back down to you, face void of any emotions, as he says, “No.”

The answer causes you to recoil a bit but you were determined to remain steadfast as you ask the final question, “…. Will it get better?”

It comes out in a soft murmur that even you’re not sure if he’s heard it. He’s staring again with eyes threatening to drown you once more and you felt like he’s seeing past you, right into your soul. You hate it; with just a single look he’s able to make you feel so bare in front of him. You suppose that’s what being a witch is about…along with igniting random fires without being burnt apparently (so you guess that’s out of the question if you ever wanted to get rid of him).

“It depends on how you look at it.” He finally says.

“…. That’s not very helpful.” You reply, bemused.

“I didn’t say it was gonna be.” He retorts plainly. “Now a deal is a deal. I did my part so you’ll do yours.”

That causes you to straighten up, bristling a bit in preparation of what he’s planning on making you do or give up. Would it be years off your life? Your soul? Can witches even do that? Or maybe he wants a part of your body like an eye?! Or a whole arm?! Oh my God, you really didn’t think this through— !

“Hello?”

You jerk at the sound of his voice, shoulders involuntarily hunching up in a defensive stance. A glance at the witch in front of you lets you know that he doesn’t look about ready to cause bodily harm to you. Actually, he was looking at you like you just did something really stupid.

“W-What?” You stutter.

“I said, you’re going to follow me and do exactly as I say.”

“That's— “ You immediately begin to protest because this just screams stranger danger, momentarily forgetting who you’re dealing with exactly.

“A deal is a deal, Y/N. And I don’t think you would want to know what’ll happen if you cross a witch.” The tone in his voice shifts dangerously in warning, it’s low and he speaks with a calmness that belies what he’s truly capable of, that there are far worse things that will happen to you than following him and doing what he says.

For once you’re not curious enough to find out.

You swallow hard and just numbly nod. At your affirmation to comply, the man’s demeanor eases back into the lethargic air he had when you first met him. He turns away to walk off but not before gesturing with a quick nod of his head for you to follow after him. You don’t have to be told twice. You trail a few steps behind him and amusingly, you spot the black cat from earlier trotting alongside (Smokey was it?)

“Yoongi.”

“Huh?”

Your head snaps from the cat to the man in front of you who only keeps walking at a leisurely pace, hands stuffed into the pockets of his dark washed jeans.

“My name; it’s Min Yoongi.”

“Oh…” You stop yourself from replying with your name in kind, seeing as how he already seems to know it. The silence that follows envelops you but shockingly; you don’t feel as afraid as you should be. Maybe it’s Yoongi’s undeniably easy-going attitude or perhaps just another form of his witchcraft coming into play to make you feel that way, who knows.

Whatever it was, you welcome it.

Because undoubtedly, this will be the last time you’ll ever get to feel at ease again.

#yoongi drabble #suga drabble #bts drabble #bts oneshot #bts scenario #firewitch!suga #suga x reader #yoongi x reader #min yoongi drabble #yoongi drabbles #bts drabbles #bts scenarios

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furederiko · 7 years

Photo

This is the LAST post for December, meaning it's also the FINAL post for the year. Anything special to publish in the conclusive day of 2017? NOPE. Just this... uhmmm, random ramblings. Ahahaha...

My internet went down completely for around 2 weeks since December 13th. The unexpected 'incident' (I apparently has burned my modem *sigh*) made me switched into my creative side and did genuine FUN non-internet related things instead. And I got all caught up by it... that I practically did NOT prepare anything for Tumblr.

Had a Random-News-Digest prepared for mid-December, but ditched it completely because the content would be highly outdated now. Wanted to do my monthly recap-view for "Kamen Rider Build", but haven't finished it so it'll have to wait until next month. The only thing I could pull off was the recap-views for "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" last 2 episodes of the year. Though to be honest, that amazing show was part of my 'offline fun' as well. So yeah, unlike last year, there is no TOP 10 list this year. Didn't even publish anything for Christmas, because I completely FORGOT about it! LOL... (^^;)

Anyways, to make up for all of that, I've written a rough 'RECAP' of what went through my life this year. Entertainment-wise, of course, and not all but just some of the highlights. In list form! Why? Because I feel like it *grins*. Here goes nothing...

Movies, Oh movies...

- Watched even less movies on the theatre this year, and opted to wait several releases on home video. Only went to see the big guns, thus there isn't any disappointment. - Surprisingly, I loved the live action "Beauty and the Beast" more than the animated original. Dan Stevens' solo number "Evermore" is stuck in my head ever since. - Haven't seen "Coco", and really want to. Here's hoping the home video will be released soon. I guess I should see "Cars 3" first, huh? - "Dunkirk" was magnificent. War movie is usually not my forte, so I'm pleasantly surprised that Christopher Nolan managed to make me enjoy one. Was it the short duration, the all-out jerks of the army, or the non-stop intensity? Don't know. But if there's at least one thing I've gained from it: I disliked Harry Styles ever more now. No kidding. Poor French soldier... - I'm a visual guy so when I saw a disturbing scene, it usually stayed on my head for a good while. That bloody scene after the bomb explosion on "Stronger", for example? *sigh*. I hope Jake Gyllenhall receives an Oscar nomination for his work on this movie. - "Death Note" and "Ghost in the Shell"? Enjoyed the first one more, but both deserved better. - Tom Cruise's "The Mummy" was mediocre, but I'm among the minority who actually want to see more of Universal's Dark Universe. Even if just to see more of Russell Crowe going Jekyll. Charlie Hunnam's "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" was the movie's kindred spirit, while "Kong: Skull Island" was the opposite. Kong will be meeting Godzilla in the coming years! - Comic book adaptations were generally top notch. Naturally the three Marvel Studios' releases; "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2", "Spider-Man: Homecoming", and "Thor: Ragnarok"; would be my top picks. Don't ask me to choose which one is the best though! All three were amazing and marvelous in their own unique ways, so I'd gladly rank them in the same spot just to be fair. - I admit, "Logan" and "Wonder Woman" were great too, but I didn't like them as much as everyone else on the planet. Not sure why, I guess... none of them was my cup of tea? Let's just say, there were problems on each of them that I couldn't quite tolerate and it reduced my overall impression on them. - Don't ask about "Justice League". I'll wait until I can borrow a copy when it's out on home video. Not wasting my money on a poorly reviewed DC Films. For now, "The LEGO Batman Movie" remains to be the best DC release of the year. - "Kingsman: The Golden Circle" was just NOT as good as the prequel. It was fun, but it felt like it's repetitive yet also missing something and trying too much.

Show Must Go On...

- Just realized that I've seen MORE TV series this year! Both the currently in broadcast, or titles from previouse years like "Westworld". Oh WOW... - Both Marvel's "Iron Fist" and Marvel's "The Defenders" were genuine duds. Both TV series were underwhelming and disappointing, that I have lost any urge to see Marvel's "The Punisher". - Haven't seen Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." 5th season as well, because I haven't been feeling it. Though that will change in the near future because I'm itching to see its 5th episode. Hey, my boy Fitz and Hunter are the star of that episode, right? THAT I just have to see! I wonder if seeing that episode would be enough to convince me to watch the previous four episodes... - Currently following Marvel's "Runaways", though this 1st season might be my first and last. Don't know why, but not feeling it either. I think CW's "Riverdale" was a more watchable show, and even that one have been dropped after Season 1. LOL. I guess teenage soap-opera is just NOT my thing. - The 5th and final season of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" was kind of... all over the place too. This show should've ended with Season 3, if you ask me. It had a bittersweet ending, akin to "Samurai Jack". But it also did not ended gracefully, and far less enjoyable to follow. - "Stranger Things" Season 2 was amazing. It had a somewhat different vibe compared to the 1st one, but equally enjoyable to watch. Poor characters whose name starts with 'B'... - I think the 3rd and 4th Seasons of "Voltron Legendary Defender" were initially meant to be one unit. The show's first two seasons were impressive, but these latter two were... okay? I don't know why, but it felt like it has waned a bit. - "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" was somewhat similar. I had great time with Season 1 and 2, but Season 3 was a bit... uneven. Many of the jokes didn't quite hit, and some of the story development started feeling like a recycled trick. Still, I would love to see a 4th Season, and hopefully with better improvements. - Was expecting "Big Hero 6: The Series" to be as amazing as the Oscar-winning movie... but alas that didn't seem to be the case. Didn't quite enjoy the 2-episodes premiere as much as I wanted to. A complete opposite to "DuckTales", that hit all the right notes. The sole complaint I have about this reboot/remake, is that Scrooge McDuck's adventure isn't airing new episodes on a weekly basis! Aaaaargggh, the long wait is making me angry. - If you haven't seen "Thunderbirds Are Go", then what are you waiting for? I feel the 2nd Season had more and more amazing moments, to the point that I hope Season 3 will come sooner than later. - Comedies are taking my leisure time now! Have been following Seth McFarlane's "The Orville". It was mediocre to good, and desperately in need of improvements (hopefully in Season 2). Yet I keep going back and see it. Is it the star power of its guest stars? - Adam Scott and Craig Robinson's "Ghosted" is on my top priority watch. Sure, the quality has reduced a bit since the pilot, but the supernatural agents aren't going anytime soon from my house. - The same with Kevin Finn! Great goodness, I have only started watching "Kevin Probably Saves the World" since early this month (the benefit of NOT getting preoccupied by the internet LOL), but I'm already regretting why I didn't start sooner. Now I honestly can't wait to see more! Kevin is such an adorkable, likeable, and surprisingly relatable quirky lead. The kind of guy I would totally love to be best friends with in real life. Really though, the show is infectuous with its acts of kindness, heartwarming with its pleasant vibes, and also surprisingly engaging through its personal conflicts. If you hear me giggling, laughing out loud, or sobbing lately, you can probably thank Kevin, his guardian Angel, family, and friends for that! Seriously...

A Spoonful of Anime and Toku

- Turns out, "Kekkai Sensen & Beyond" wasn't the sequel that I expected to be. It's... 'different' than the first season. But when you get to see what the other members of Libra (even the team's butler) are doing in their daily lives, should one even be complaining? In the end it was indeed as amazing and fun ride as the first season, even if lead protagonist Leonardo Watch took a back seat most of the season. I'm already crossing my fingers to see more adventure of the team. But it likely won't happen in the near future, huh? Bummer... - "Ballroom e Youkoso" was a peculiar dance. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half, but after Tatara changed partner things got... hectic and irritating to follow? It was still good, but a rather uneven show if you ask me for honest impression. At the very least, it wasn't a wasted opportunity like "Kabuki-bu!" was. - "Houseki no Kuni" was of similar situation. Its animation was gorgeous, story was peculiarly engaging, and world building was great. But there were episodes that were undeniably better than the rest, and I didn't quite like how it ended. I guess that finale was teasing for more seasons? Hmmm... - It's been years since I follow a Pretty Cure series, and "Kira Kira Precure A La Mode" wet my appetite and got me back to the game. Unfortunately, while the design was interesting, and the sweets angle was neat, the story was somewhat weak. I have lost my initial enthusiasm after the first half, but I still watch it because it's going to end pretty soon. Not quite expecting a mindblowing finale though, especially if the animation quality is any indication. A common problem of TOEI Animation. Remember "Sekaisuru KADO"? - Dang it, what an impressive year it has been with Super Sentai. "Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger" was kind of dull and boring last year, but had a great ending this year. And it was quickly followed by something even better. Yes, another show that has dragged me on a pleasant roller coaster ride is none other than TOEI's "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger". Since its premiere run on February, until its Christmas episode that wrapped up its 2017 run, I haven't been disappointed once with the series. Yes, I had an issue with the spin-off series of V-Cinema "Episode of Stinger", but that didn't count as the broadcast lineup. Though it's painful for me to soon say goodbye to this amazing season, I hope its last month will be memorable and a blast. Particularly because I'm currently having second thoughts about the 2018 season... - Just like its weekly storyline, "Kamen Rider Build" is still moving me back and forth. I'm honestly on the verge of dropping it completely, but I guess I'm going to check out several episodes from the next "Kamen Rider Wars" arc. I kind of feel it takes too long to get to this point when it could've been done earlier, but who am I to argue, right?

Name of the Game

- "Nintendo Switch" was a hit! Ever since its release on March 2017, the buzz and hype for this hybrid console only continue to increase. I wonder if I will be able to purchase one next year? Perhaps, just in time for the next Pokemon gen? - Speaking of Pokemon, the addition of Generation III from Hoenn region has made me go out and explore "Pokemon GO" again. The whole Raid Battle system and Niantic's handling of the Legendary Pokemon had disappointed so bad that I was close to give up on this App. Thankfully, now I have a horde of new reason to walk around the neighborhood. Problem is, can the same premise work in the long run? Niantic really need to consider new social features that enables players to engage with one another. - "Street Fighter V" had a weird set of DLC characters this year. The 2nd Season contained mostly new characters, that was a hit or miss with fans. Thankfully, things seem to be picking up next year with the Arcade Edition. Not just because my man Cody Travers is all dandy clean and returning to the game, of course. Question is, will I be able to play the game eventhough I don't have any plans to pick up a PS4? *giggles*. - I also haven't been able to play "Persona 5" due to the exact reason. LOL. Thankfully, "Persona 5 the Animation" has been announced to air next year. Sure, I'm a bit skeptical with the fact that A-1 Pictures and not Production I.G. will be doing the animation, but at least this will be my way of enjoying the game... WITHOUT actually playing it. - LEVEL-5 should do more of that worldwide Puzzle Quest! That was meant to be a prelude or some sort to "Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and The Millionaires' Conspiracy", but I think the game developer should learn by now that it could work as a stand alone project. It made people come together in surprising way, and attracted fans to come back everyday to check out the new worldwide puzzle. Real FUN!

Oookaaay, that went A LOT longer than I expected. And I'm 100% sure that there are items that completely slipped my mind. As of writing this line, it's only just a few hours before the year ends! Aaaaarggggh *grumble*. Gotta publish this one soon then!

With that said, 2017 has been a difficult and challenging year. Particularly to a very discriminative and straight-out evil political atmosphere. One that allowed people to show their true despicable nature and selfishly trampled others for it. Last year I did say that "There's so many reasons to be hopeful about 2017", but reality had spoken differently as it turned out there were plenty more to discourage us throughout the year. Many people have even lost their fate in humanity this year.

But you know what? I'm going to say the same thing this day as well. There are SOOO many reasons to be hopeful about 2018. I don't know if it's because I'm currently caught up in the holiday spirit, or because I've been feeling extra thankful and blessed this month. One thing I can openly attest, is that things DO GET BETTER. So don't ever lose hope, and keep fighting the good fight in the name of just and goodness. I'm being lazy right now, so I'm just going to copy and paste my own words from last year: "Life can sometimes be hard, but all we need to do is stay strong, stay high spirited, and more importantly, keep moving forward! Happiness and blessings will surely find its way, in ways you might not imagine!".

And also this next one... because I'm going to be saying more or less the same kind of statements anyway: "Thanks to those who have been reading my blog all year long. I know I haven't spent much time (or any) to address you one by one, and heck, I might not even know you're there. But please know that I'll always be grateful for your presence, your time, kindness, and more importantly patience to walk through my long and sometimes pointless ramblings. What you've been doing means a lot for me, and I hope what I've been posting has and will somehow benefit back to you in return.". 2017 ends in just a few hours away, so let's enter and stride through 2018 with a hopeful and brave heart, the biggest and earnest smiles, the most sincere love and compassion for others regardless of their religion, race, or skin color. More importantly, let's make 2018 a year that we can be proud of. Where we take a stand for what's right and good! Where we become better human being than we are this year!

SEE YOU TOMORROW IN 2018!!!

#message #quotes #life quotes #wisewords #Just for Fun #random thoughts #movie #TV show #anime #game #review

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