#i dont have a huge issue talking about stuff but i am more just worried abt making ppl uncomfortable idk fjfkdl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vergeofpanic · 2 years

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Ok, but since I keep remembering tumblr exists every few weeks/months, it's time for me to spam posts to make up for the time that goes by where I forget that this cursed platform is somehow the best place for me to rant about fandoms nobody asks about since I personally know absolutely 0 people on this app so I don't have to worry about things like I do absolutely everywhere else

Anyway, time for me to talk about the relationship between Diluc and Kaeya and how the fandom misreprests them a lot.

Firstly, before I start, I dont care about ships in the fandom and only go by what I know is true, such as the mistranslation in the English version where they are called adopted brothers, instead of sworn brothers. (Sworn brothers are a popular romance troupe in China as well as a lot of eastern countries. I'm not overly knowledgeable in what countries and regions have sworn brothers, but if you want an example of sworn brothers in other fandoms, the only example I can give you off the top of my head is Cale and Alberu from Trash Of The Count's Family)

Anyway, just wanted to first clear that up. I understand if the ship makes you uncomfortable because of the English version of the game/translation, but don't attack KaeLuc shippers for it.

Anyway, onto the actual reason for this post. In the Genshin fandom, it's extremely common for people to make angst about Diluc and Kaeya's relationship, mostly showing it from the POV of an Adult Kaeya reminiscing about his time with the Ragnvindr's. My issue with the fandoms portrayal of their relationship, however, is the way they make Diluc act towards Kaeya, as well as Kaeya's reaction to it all.

Just a little heads up as well, this post gets derailed very quickly from how the fandom misinterprets Diluc and Kaeya's relationships with each other into an analysis on the characters instead. By the time this post is fully written, it will hopefully come back around to the original point of the post, but who knows. A lot of stuff I analyse in this post can also just seem like a huge stretch and something that doesn't matter at all, bit my brain has already decided I need to write about it, so that's what I'm going to do.

I will be discussing the backstory of both these characters, so if you don't want spoilers, please don't continue to read this post. I am also not fully sure of some events in the backstory, so please let me know if I made any mistakes with some parts of this.

As most of the lore-followers of Genshin know, Kaeya was welcomed into the Ragnivindr's family by Diluc's father, Master Crepus, after his father left him there and declared him as Khaenri'ah's last hope.

From what we learn in Kaeya's character story, he and Diluc were seen together constantly back when they still got along. Diluc, at the time was also described as a warm individual (and many people believe he used to be a lot more similar to Bennett and the other extremely bright and cheery pyro users), and Kaeya was described as his eccentric friend and supporter, making sure they got through each challenge they faced smoothly.

We find out in Diluc's character story that he was the youngest ever Calvalry Captain of KOF, who worked hard to achieve the dreams his father had for him.

After Master Crepus was killed by the backlash from using a Delusion, described as an "unknown evil power" and dying in Diluc's arms, he left the Knights after having been given an unspeakable order from Inspector Eroch to "conceal the truth" from the citizens of Mondstadt of what had happened to his father.

From what we can tell from Kaeya's character stories, which give the most information on the relatio ship between the two of them, Diluc became angered by Kaeya after he stood behind him as Master Crepus died, instead of being by their sides in the man's final moments. I believe it is also said that Kaeya could've saved Master Crepus but had hesitated for moments to long and by the time he took action it was already to late (i'm not completely sure on this one but I've seen a lot of people talk about this being the main reason Diluc was angry at Kaeya so yeah).

After Master Crepus' death, Diluc left Mondstadt to fight the Fatui, leaving his vision behind and instead using his father's Delusion, before returning back to Mondstadt years later (also i believe he got blacklisted from Snezhnaya which i find hilarious and I hope that when the game finally adds Snezhnaya that we can see some of the townspeople speaking about it)

Anyway, now that I've discussed their backstory, I'm going to discuss how we see them interact with each other in dialogue and scenes throughout the game. I'm mostly going off what I can remember and find online, but if you have any more examples let me know and I'll be sure to add them.

Let's start with the first ever scene we see with the two of them. Just after Kaeya and the Traveller defeat the Hilichurls at one of the 4 winds domain. We see Kaeya interact with the Abyss mage that had organised the ambush. After learning that The Abyss are the citizens of the fallen nation Khaenri'ah, the homeland of Kaeya himself, we can see that he seems to be one of the only characters in game who interacts with the Abyss as more then monsters. While this is going on and the Abyss mage starts to cast a spell, Diluc comes storming in, fist and sword blazing. We don't really get much from this cutscene, however, we do see that the two characters know each other, in a less then friendly relationship.

Throughout what I believe is the only other cutscene from the actual archon quests in the game, we finally get to witness the hostility between the two characters. While Diluc is the one who seems the most hostile out of the two of them, it's clear to see that Kaeya is at the very least, intentionally annoying Diluc. He uses the nickname the Diluc himself expresses his dislike for (in what I believe was part of the scene just before Kaeya joins in on their conversation), as well as talking in a way that mislead both the Traveller and Diluc multiple times by leaving out certain information that made him seem as though he was going to report it to the Knights. In the end of course, Kaeya does agree that he won't tell anyone about Diluc's nights as batman, however, you can clearly see how he messes with Diluc through the conversation.

Next up is the Golden Apple Archipelago 1.6 event. Firstly, we find out that Kaeya ice-bridging is canon, and secondly, we get a lot more insight into the relationship between the two, getting what is our first moment of understanding and agreement between the two in the form of one of the Echoing Conch Shells found on the beach.

Looking up the event on YouTube (because it's been 6 months since the event and I'm gonna be honest, there is no way that hell i can remember any of their dialogue off the top of my head) I have been able to find multiple compilations of the two of them interacting (a favourite of mine being "Kaeya mocks Diluc for 2 minutes straight") we can see just how bad the animosity between the two of them can be. Just looking at the fact they both scoffed at the idea of having to travel to the Archipelago can be a big enough clue that the two can't stand to be around each other for long.

Kaeya also makes the observation that Cryo and Pyro are incompatible, both a reference to Diluc melting Kaeya's ice-bridge, as well as a dig at the fact that the two of them can't get along because of their clashing personalities; where as how used to get along because both of them were much friendlier and warmer towards themselves and others, were as now both of the are cold towards everyone, with Kaeya enjoying watching others struggle and Diluc not letting himself get close to others in fear of losing them or being betrayed by them. (And yes, it is extremely hard not to smile when Diluc says Dodo-King)

When we find an Echoing Conch Shell on the shore of one of the archipelago's shores, we get to finally learn about how Kaeya and Diluc used to be. It's not a long scene, but it's something that highlights a part of the divide between the two of them. When Kaeya makes a comment about them collecting shells, or sea-bird hunting like they used to, Diluc seems to almost be in disbelief at the idea that Kaeya still remembers how they used to be when they were younger, which seems like it may be part of the reason the two don't get along now. We can interpret this as the reason that Diluc has been so cold and easily angered by Kaeya is because he felt betrayed by the idea the Kaeya didn't care about the memories they shared from when they were kids. This can also lead into why they had the fight that unlocked Kaeya's vision.

Like I had mentioned, Kaeya had stood behind Diluc and his father during his death, so he never said his final goodbyes to Master Crepus. From the way I had read the character story, this was the main reason why Diluc was furious at Kaeya. This may mean that Diluc felt that Kaeya didn't care about the relationships and memories he made with Ragnvindr family because he didn't come to say goodbye to the man who treated him like his own son, and that may be where the resentment and animosity that Diluc held for Kaeya has stemmed from all this time. Diluc could have just been holding onto this version of Kaeya that only used the Ragnvinder family for food and shelter, instead of seeing them like a family as Diluc had.

Finally, the last scene I can currently remember that exists in the game. Venti's story quest. Venti's storyquest is rather innocent at the beginning, with (I believe it's Venti himself but I think he might of also tagged along for shits and giggles) asking for help with something. He asks the Traveller to go around Mondstadt with him to witness and record the imaginary friends of Mondstadt's children. After we see just how messed up Timmy has gotten after being abandoned by his father, along with having all his pigeons being slaughtered in front of him daily, Venti asks us to see if Mondstadt's adults also have imaginary friends. We end up spying on Diluc and Kaeya + some NPC's in midst of one of their conversations. This is probably the best scene to showcase that Diluc isn't the only extremely hostile one in the relationship, along with us witnessing who normally escalates the arguments between the two.

"Oh? And if I did have one too many, what then? You'd throw me out along with the trash, is that it?"

"'Throw you out'?"

"You know... the same way you threw out father's legacy? You sold off his mansion - or maybe you've forgotten?"

This scene right here, in what will forever be one of my favourite story quests in the game, is what got me to start think about the fandoms portrayal of these two.

If you remember the way I described the fandoms most common/popular interpreting and content surrounding the two (which you probably don't), I explained that their relationship is nearly always made into angst.

However, in angst, no matter the fandom your in, there is nearly always an antagonistic of some kind, though lots of the time that antagonist is something like depression, mental issues, self esteem issues, etc that often end in hurt & comfort scenes. But when it's angst about two people with a bitter history together we often see one of the two characters involved being portrayed as the villain in the relationship, and in Genshin's case, it is nearly always Diluc who is given this role.

People chose the character they make into the villain in a few ways. Some people do it based solely off of which character they prefer over the two. A case of this in another fandom would be c!Tubbo from the DSMP roleplay, who is often turned into a villain like character for the sake of making c!Tommy or c!Ranboo look like they are completely in the right for all their actions.

Another common reason for making a character the antagonist in the relationship is by how they react to certain scenarios. It's best to describe Diluc as a character with a short temper when it comes to dealing with Kaeya, especially when a lot of people don't pick up on the more subtle reactions and antagonising that characters do, which is something that people don't notice Kaeya do often unless they are someone who is just extremely good at picking up on those kinds of hints.

The final reason I can think of that applies to this is the fact that most people believe that Diluc is the one solely at fault for how the two of them are no longer on good terms with each other, and yes, this is true to some extent, however, it's also obvious to tell that Kaeya is making it difficult for Diluc to even think about rekindling their relationship with each other, especially when anything Diluc says anything that Kaeya takes in slight offence, he seems to bring up Master Crepus as a way to make Diluc seem like a horrible person for selling the mansion they all used to live in together. If anything, the reason why Diluc did that is because his coping mechanism for grief is to get rid of anything that may end up reminding him of that person.

I remember seeing someone comment something on a Diluc and Kaeya angst tiktok that has stick with me ever since I saw it.

"It's not that neither of them care, it's the fact they have different coping mechanisms"

As some context to this comment, the tiktok was just a little animatic where Diluc and Kaeya seem to be getting along, until Kaeya makes a joke about Diluc trying to kill him in the past, and it ended causing Diluc to shut down and put all his mental walls up again. I believe the idea itself was inspired by the echoing shell from the Golden Apple Archipelago, and this video and comment was what inspired me to finally make a post/rant about this solely so I can finally stop having this whole thing loop in my head constantly.

Anyway, this comment is what led me into a huge deep dive into the relationship between these two.

The reason that they seem to be unable to get over their grief when it comes to eachother is because of the way each of them cope. I mentioned this a little earlier, but Diluc's coping mechanism is to avoid memories of the person he's lost. It's a common coping mechanism and you'll often see people move away and sell the house they lived in with their loved one because they can't think of living in a house without that person anymore. Maybe if I'll and Kaeya had started to get along more before Diluc left to hunt down the Fatui then maybe he might of kept the mansion, or maybe he wouldn't of left, but again, this is just how Diluc handles loss.

Kaeya on the other hand is someone who seems to make jokes and uses humor to cope with these kinds of things, which is another common coping mechanism that is often looked down on. People who cope like this are viewed as insensitive and even are accused of not caring for the person who passed away. He is also very open when talking about Master Crepus and even utilises his death as a weapon against Diluc, but Kaeya is also someone who never got to talk about the deaths of his lived one's from Khaenri'ah, so it's not a huge stretch to assume that he is open about Crepus because he never got to open up about his own family dying and leaving him alone. He may be constantly using Master Crepus' death against Diluc as a way to say:

"Hey, you may have lost father, but I lost him aswell, along with my motherland"

Its because of how much these two coping mechanisms clash that their is so much animosity between the two. Kaeya thinks that Diluc is being selfish for leaving Mondstadt so soon after Master Crepus' death, when he himself also lost someone who was a second father to him, and is probably angry that Diluc sold the Ragnvindr Mansion without consulting him first, but at the same time Diluc is angry at Kaeya for treating Crepus' death as a joke, constantly being so open to others about it and using it against him and acting as though he deserves to be upset over it when he didn't didn't care enough to say his final goodbyes to Crepus before he passed.

Its clear that even with the hostility between the two they still care for each other; at least a bit. Even though they constantly fight, Kaeya chooses to go to the Angel's Share for his drinks, even though he could go to Cat's Tail to get the perfect drink without the added hostility, and Diluc doesn't kick Kaeya out of the tavern unless he's drinking far too much and needs to be escorted outside for safety purposes. It may just be the Angel's Share is a place they have a truce at as it was their father's tavern, but it's still nice to think that they are willing to put their differences aside in order to honour Master Crepus' legacy.

This went on way longer than expected and I don't think anyone is going to bother reading it because of how many spelling mistakes and errors their are bound to be in this post, but I spent 2 hours on this and put way to much work into it for me to just delete it. I applaud anyone who actually read though this whole thing because it was a pain in the ass to write, and its all been typed out on my phone because tumblr on my computer is way to confusing. If you want me to make more super long winded rants about more topics, from Genshin or other fandoms you'd like to see my perspective on, let me know and I'll look into it at some point.

- Amir

#diluc #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya #kaeyagenshinimpact #diluc genshin impact #kaeya genshin impact #kaeluc #crepus ragnvindr #angst #character analysis #diluc and kaeya #brothers #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #Ragnvindr #dark knight hero #genshin spoilers #coping mechanism

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corpsentry · 3 years

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january: an art retrospective

i did some stuff last month (but it’s a lot of stuff and there’s a photodump + some Serious Fucking Reflection, so it’s all below the cut)

so ok, let’s start with this. here are some heads. each head has a red arrow. that red arrow is what i call the red line of the devil. it’s the slope of the face from the side of the eye to the cheekbone and then down towards the chin. up until like 2 weeks ago, i couldn’t draw it. i couldn’t fucking draw it. i would edit over that part of the face over and over again until i was frustrated and tired and i had a raging homosexual headache and it still never looked right. notice that each head is different. notice that each head looks wrong.

at the start of 2021 i finally admitted to myself, as per the image above, that i was deeply, deeply unhappy with my art. what was the problem? i dunno. but i decided i was going to fix it and i was going to do so via another one scribble a day event wherein for every day of january i would find a photo of a human head, and i would draw it.

january 1st, 2021. i was embarrassed to tweet this even on my private account where like 5 friends and a rock would see it. in retrospect, you can also see all of my bad habits emerging like dicks from a hole in the ground. it’s disproportionate. the brows look flat. the eyes are slanting upwards. the entire drawing looks flat, like this isn’t a 3d person but a caricature of one.

january 2nd, 3rd, 4th:

on the 2nd i decided to start a separate thread for doodles and applied learning. here’s the first set of tests

the rest of the week is kind of uneventful so we’re going to skip those. fast forward to january 11th

this one is especially bad. i am acutely aware, suddenly, that i am not changing anything at all. i’m stressed and miserable about it because i’m still trying to see people as people and trying to draw people that look attractive and proportionate and hot. my friend, leny, reminds me that i need to think about faces in terms of planes. i have a moment. my other friend masha sends me some links to anatomy tutorials. i have another moment.

january 11th. applied sketch

january 13th is when i start the troubleshooting process. the link above drives me mad because i’m pretty happy with the face but then i realize that there’s something very fucking wrong with the shape of the head LOL and then i realize that i’ve never had any idea what the proportion of the face to the rest of the skull is so i grit my teeth and i open a new canvas and i

bald studies. it seemed like the right thing to do. can’t draw heads? ok draw some heads. look at some photographs. i traced each photo but tried to stick to straight lines so that i could replicate the shapes more easily. i broke each face down into shapes. i thought about airplanes

i got really excited. i started doing studies, then applied studies, then stylized studies.

sketches. i’m not sure what’s going on (as always) and it’s very rough, but they look different from the sketches i did on january 2nd. that’s a start

january 16th’s daily study. looks more like a person now. juuuuuust a bit

more applied studies

on the 18th i take a break and go stare at some lips because i don’t understand how the fuck they work. again, i focus on shapes, on volume, on the fact that these things exist in 3d. holy fuck lips exist in 3d. holy fuck we are real

january 19th. i’m working on it.

january 22nd. some sketches + a daily study. it has finally occurred to me that heads can tilt up and down and that things look different accordingly. yes i was not aware of this before. yes i have been drawing for over a decade.

january 23rd. by this point after doing my daily sketch i almost always go back and do an applied study which is basically to say i drew a lot of fucking links. this one looks kind of okay. i’m kind of proud

january 25th. links. trying to make sense of everything i’ve learned

26th, 27th, 28th. daily studies

january 1st. january 31st

The End Of The Photo Dump (dab)

ok NOW i get to talk about what i discovered while studying the shit out of human beings

FIRST OF ALL, there is something precious and magical about drawing shit without the explicit knowledge that you’re going to tweet that shit out to 45 people later. it takes the burden of perception off your shoulders and that does something to you, or at least that’s my theory. i told myself i wouldn’t post any of this stuff until the end of the month (if i wanted to post it at all) and kept everything off my public social media accounts and that meant i could draw ugly as hell without worrying about who would point and laugh, which i absolutely fucking did. a lot of these are fucking trainwrecks. most of these are fucking trainwrecks. why do they look like that?? why??? this doesn’t look like the work of someone who’s allegedly been drawing since they were in kindergarten, does it?????

here’s why: because that person took a huge motherfucking swing at everything they’d ever known about art and spent a month building something new in its place. the abstract explanation is that i grew up on shoujo and weird old anime and my understanding of anatomy was unironically kamichama karin and while i love kamichama karin, when kamichama karin is your rule even if you try to break it, you’re going to end up going nowhere. “you have to know the rules to break them”, yeah? well i didn’t know shit. the abstract explanation is i’ve been miserable about my art for a few years now because i saw other people doing things effortlessly which i couldn’t and instead of going back to the basics, i tried to do what they did (not plagiarism, mind you, i mean i literally tried to copy the red line of the devil i mentioned above because i couldn’t even make that happen) and then i fucking failed.

the simple explanation is this. i had to unlearn everything, and relearn it again (like some kind of new renaissance clown, what the fuck is this?)

take this for example. all my life i’ve drawn faces in the order: eyes, nose, mouth, face shape, head. this works for some people, im aware, but it was something central to how i had always drawn, so i decentralized it. i said fuck you to the old me and changed the order up. now i start with the nose, then the eyes, mouth, the chin line, and the sides of the face. now i force myself to think about the human head as a series of parts interacting with each other instead of a bunch of disparate features which i want to look pretty.

or let’s use this zelda from last year. something about this looked wrong last october, the way something about all of my drawings looked wrong, but i couldn’t pinpoint it for hell the way i couldn’t articulate Any of my feelings about the visual arts. now, looking back, here’s what i see. that nose is sticking out far too much given how she’s not really facing very far away from the camera. that ear at the back shouldn’t be there. her forehead is too big. she doesn’t have a forehead. what the fuck is up with the shape of her head?

so apparently reject modernity embrace tradition has its roots in alt-right terminology and i’m not very horny for the alt-right (you understand), but the spirit survives here. you know sometimes you have to admit that you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing and draw people for 31 days. i’ve spent my whole life drawing stylized people and while again there are artists who have no issue with this, i veered off the track of the Good and the Holy and couldn’t get back on. i had no point of reference because i’d never thought about what an actual human being looks like, so i had no way to fix what i knew in my gut looked wrong but wouldn’t come out better.

this was hard. this was like oikawa tooru swallowing his worthless pride and admitting that ushijima wakatoshi had gotten the best of him for the last time in his high school career, but in haikyuu!! by furudate haruichi oikawa tooru fucks off to argentina and then joins the argentinean national team, and you know what, i think i’ve made it to argentina (not the team just the country). as per the golden rule of dont fucking move until you’re at least two thirds of the way through the month, i only started trying to draw Shit shit on like the 22nd or something, but i was happy with that i created. i am happy with what i’ve done. i’ve posted like 2 things this month that involve people with what i now call ~applied Knowledge~~ and they’re, like, not perfect obviously (perfection is an unattainable ideal), but i’m fucking proud of them. i didn’t spend 5 hours hunched over my laptop adjusting the red line of the devil because it’s not a devil’s line anymore. because i finally sorta get how people work. because i sat down and i said ‘we are not going to fuck with this misery shit anymore’ and then i did that. it’s just a line now.

here are 2 collages tracking my painstakingly carved out progress from january 2nd to february 2nd because i’m a slut for collages

and here’s what i’ve done to my art! the same person drew these but also Not Really! you know! for the first time in a year i don’t immediately hate what i’ve drawn. you know what guys? art is fucking fun. zelda’s forehead doesn’t scare me anymore because i know how foreheads fucking work now, and i don’t know everything, and i’m going to keep troubleshooting stuff as i go (i want to draw a skeleton. like a. i want to draw a goddamn skeleton guys) but i’m honestly and genuinely proud of what i’ve done in the span of a month, and i’m also in disbelief. i started this month-long challenge out as a last ditch effort to make peace with my art because i’ve been tired for a long time and i was ready to kick the bucket on drawing people altogether. i didn’t think anything would happen. nothing’s happened for years. i’ve been miserable for years.

this was the caption for january 1st, 2021. i was super, super fucking embarrassed and it looks like super fucking shit, but you know what, i think i did in fact triumph over the bullshit. surprisingly enough, when you put in consistent effort into something, You Will See Results. didn’t see that coming, did you? i know i didn’t.

this isn’t a success story. it’s a happiness story. i never gave a shit damn about the institute of art or whatever, i was just mad at myself because what i saw in my head didn’t match up with what was on the canvas. and now it’s getting better. now i’m calibrating the compass. now drawing not just backgrounds but also people is exciting to me, and i can stick my links in your face and tell you ‘they hot’. i’m going to keep doing that. i’m going to keep going until i drop off the side of the earth and then spiral towards mars like some kind of fairy, and then i’m going to create something beautiful.

thanks for reading. here’s a pr department link for sticking around until the end

#my stuff

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gaming-universe · 3 years

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Who We Are || Russell Adler

Call of Duty Black Ops: Cold War

-PART FIVE-

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR CALL OF DUTY BLACK OPS: COLD WAR! IF YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED/FINISHED THE CAMPAIGN THEN PLEASE DONT READ! Gore, violence, course language, mature content.

Summary: Betrayed and alone after surviving the events that took place on the Solovetsky Islands, Y/n ‘Bell’ L/n faces new and more dangerous threats when she learns that Perseus has other plans for his failed nuclear detonation of Europe. It was only a matter of time before Y/n came face to face with her old team. There is unfinished business between Y/n and Adler, as this operation proves to be more deadly than originally thought.

Author’s Note: So, after finishing the campaign, I needed to do Bell/Player and Adler justice. I loved this game so much, and chosing to play as the female character, I felt like there was a genuine connection between Bell and Adler throughout the game. There is a tag list open for anyone that wishes to stay up to date with the series. Simply comment below. Gif by @travelllar (I have to apologise for taking so long to post this part. I have been going through a lot of personal stuff lately).

It had been an intense staring contest between you and Park for the last five minutes.

Even though internally you did feel somewhat intimidated by her presence, you stood tall, folding your arms over your chest as your eyes narrowed into a deadly glare. Every fibre of your being screamed at you to tear the bitch apart, to yell and scream at her for her part in what she did to you. If Mason hadn’t been standing beside you, you just might have done it. “You’re looking well...” She spoke lowly, no ounce of regret in her tone as she tried to micking your posture “for a dead woman”. You scoffed a laugh, your jaw clenching as your tongue pressed against the roof of your mouth. You raised a challenging eyebrow, the corner of your lips tugging upward in a matching smirk. “So do you” You replied, your tone so cold that Mason recoiled from its harshness.

Her eyes glazed over with a look of pure hatred, Woods releasing a low whistle from his place at the coffee table which did nothing to ease the now increased tension. A pair of footsteps entered the room, Adler clearing his throat as he moved to stand on your other side, blocking your view of Park. “What are you doing here?” He questioned, his voice low and dangerous. Your chest tightened at his tone. It wasn’t the type of tone he used when something had gone wrong, or when he was left in the dark or confused. Adler was pissed, perhaps borderline furious.

“You didn’t come back to the safehouse last night, I got worried” She replied, her response making you roll your eyes. You watched observantly as Adler’s shoulders tensed beneath his leather jacket, quickly turning to face you with a look of anger. His arm brushed yours as he moved to grab you forearm with his hand. “We need to talk, now” He practically seethed, dragging you out of the living room and into the upstairs hallway. You said nothing as Adler released your arm from his hold, pacing back and forth before bracing his hands on his hips. When Adler’s gaze finally moved to you, his entire demenour changed. His shoulders slumped, as he ran a stressed hand through his hair. “I was going to wait until Hudson got here, but I need you to be one-hundred percent on board, or at least on the same page as I am. I want you back on the team”.

You shook your head, biting your lips anxiously “Adler, I’m not sure-”

“Just hear me out. You know more about Perseus than anyone here Y/n. I need you. That’s why I need to know if you are with me or not” He spoke sincerely, moving just that little bit closer so that he was standing mere inches from your form. You pressed your lips into a thin line, looking up at him through his sunglasses. “If I agree to be part of the team again, you have to promise not to screw me over. If you screw me over even once, I am out”.

Adler nodded “I promise, like we said this morning. No more lies, no more bullshit. You will be the first person to know about everything that is going on when I do. I promise”. You stared up at him with a nervouse expression. You still weren’t entirely sure whether or not this was a good idea. But you wanted Perseus dead more than anyone. There was a burning anger buried deep within you that had been there for a very long time. Right now, you might not have known the exact reason why it was there, but it was enough to make you accept Adler’s offer wholeheartedly.

Nodding in what you assumed was relief, Adler continued “Okay, now I’m going to tell you this in confidence, and you cannot let anyone know about what I am going to tell you. Hudson and I suspect there is a mole in the team”.

Your eyes widened, your lips parting slightly in shock. “What? Do you have any idea as to who it might be?” You asked, not liking the way Adler’s expression fell. “No, we don’t. A month after you...after you were KIA, we started intercepting outgoing coded messages from someone in this team. With your skills, we could find out who it is in a matter of days. We just need-”

“Hudson. We just need Hudson to approve this little operation, huh?” You finished for him, once again feeling yourself becoming somewhat closed off again. Adler moved to place his hand comfortingly on your shoulder “I’ll take care of it, you don’t have to worry-”

“But I do. No offence, but you don’t think Hudson might be a little on edge after discovering that I am alive? And what about the huge mistake about my defection? I’m sure he would be super pissed off about it-”

“I have no doubt he will be, but one thing is for sure, he won’t be pissed at you” Adler interrupted, raising his eyebrow at you with a small tug of his lips “I can guarantee you that”. Your eyes met his, peering through those glasses to search for any sign of doubt, for any sign of hesitancy coming from the man before you. When you found none, your shoulders slumped heavily, your gaze turning towards the square curtained window at the end of the hall. “Alright...” You began, trying to hide the growing uneasiness from your voice “so what happens after we are done here? Where do we go?”.

“We’ll head back to the safehouse in West Berlin. From there, Woods, Mason, Park and myself will focus on this new lead we have on Perseus, Operation Hydra. You and Sims will focus on decoding those messages, and finding out who our mole is”.

A haunting chill travelled down your spine, as vivid flashes of your time at that safehouse consumed you; being strapped to that gourney, the serum coursing through your veins and setting your senses alight in a painful fire. The thundering of your own heartbeat echoing in your ears, the taste of copper in your mouth-

Adler watched as your eyes glazed over, your mind going to a dark place that even he didn’t dare venture. This was all his fault. He had damaged you, likely beyond repair. Your features that once looked at him with such a bright smile, had lost the glow. You were a shadow of your former self, in more ways than one. And it was all because of him. He gently tightened his grip on your shoulder, a strange warmth enveloping him as your eyes immediately cleared, lifting to stare up at him with a small forced smile. It truly amazed him how resiliant you were, even after everything you had been through.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes to calm your racing heart before nodding your head slowly. “We should probably head back downstairs. Who knows what chaos has gone on between Woods and Viktor”.

The way you suddenly changed the subject caused Adler’s stomach to twist, but he didn’t press the issue as he chuckled deeply, rolling his eyes in amusement as he stepped away from you. “You have a point, no doubt he’s probably broke by now” He teased, gesturing for you to go down the stairs ahead of him. You nodded, moving past him with small steps. You knew for certain that this would change things, with you now back on the team. But strangely, you felt like this was where you belonged. That you were meant to be with Adler and his team. But time would tell you supposed, and you hoped to god that this little arrangement would work out.

Tag List: @pookolokon @travelllar @basicwhiteasian @shellshockedbell @inteligentecat @staryozora @lovinggooppalacebanana @ktdragonborn @quietblogs-2-rd @cerezi @alluringartangels @its-crank-time @bridgebabebridgesme @xundeadqueenx @deviljoonie @dishonored-pendletwin @shyherrman @alice-went-away

#russell adler x reader #russell adler #russell adler imagine #call of duty x reader #call of duty #call of duty imagine #call of duty black ops #call of duty cold war #call of duty black ops cold war

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fandom-imagination-ss · 3 years

Text

Imagine: Being Life long friends with Sam and meeting Bucky unexceptionally when your in the middle of a life crisis

Being Sam Wilson best friend, and his family and your being family friends made your life fun growing up. It was like having a brother- but a brother you could send away too his home when you wanted too be more “girly” and play with his sister Sarah. Growing up with Sam it was a adventure he always got you in trouble. But it made life Fun.

You were one of the billions of people who Blimped. However when you returned. You were stunned too learn your husband Not only remarried but was married too the opposite sex of what you are. And that was a Curve ball you weren’t expecting. You and his new Partner fought for a week over who was the home wrecker. He stated you were since you were whipped from existence, while you said He was. Since you married your dum dum of a husband first. In the end your husband said he wasn’t going back too you.

Honestly you were relieved- you were having issues before you disappeared and you simply said that you wanted your stuff and you would leave... that’s when he informed you that he sold your stuff within a Week of dissapearing and giving your Favorite panda bear teddy bear too the neighbor who had a girl who was now five years old. You were MORE upset about the Teddybear then the marriage, or your stuff being Gone. Mr. P (your trusted companion thru out your life) has been their for you Thur heartbreak, the ups and the down. And you ere heartbroken that he gave up hope so quickly. But Mr. P being gone was the last straw.

luckily the neighbor understood and felt pity that you returned too Nothing and your husband left you for a man. And that you didn’t have a Job anymore. And basically had the cloths on your back and the few pieces of shirts you took from your husband. So they gave you back Mr. P.. who was missing a eye now and smelt of someone else. It didn’t smell like you and it made your return home too your parents depressing.

Sam was gone, he was blimped. Your friend Sarah was left with two little kids as you helped out. But when you got the divorce papers seeing your no good of a husband was claiming abandonment and wanting everything. You snapped. And you went too Europe for the summer.

Traveling, the food, the culture. Yu were Never alone in bed. It was a well needed mental break, No responsibility, No husband, No drama, just a break from reality. Then you returned home too see Sam was back. Captain America was Gone, and your life came crashing back. Fun was over. Time too restart your entire life.. and try too move on with your life.

Sam returned home as you and him had a few beers after work. Talking about life, the Avengers, Europe. (Most stories were glazed over. Mainly because you didn’t want too talk about the string of lovers you left behind in Europe that wasn’t you. You weren’t the sort of person too kiss or tell. Plus Sam was struggling he wasn’t mentioning it out loud but the lost of Tony Stark, and Now Steve he’s close friend in Washington it took a toll on your friend.

you use too ask about the Winter soldier The hot mysteries Killer who just Dissapeared and then was helping the avengers with the battle of basically life. Sam said he was a ass and that he wans’t much. You disagreed saying the mystery man was Hot. Which only made him question your values.

Sneaking over too the Wilson family was a common thing, you always walk right in, and they do vise versa. Today you got in early with a box of donuts from your mom shop you got up at 4 am too bake them as you got inside exhusted from your short shift it was almost eight am. As you got in seeing the boys were playing with a Captain America shield you walked over seeing someone sleeping on the sofa. Stepping over looking at it, ‘Holly crap that looks so real.”

“it is! Uncle Sam brought it over.”

“Shut up!” The youngest handed it too you as you held it. It was lighter then you imagined as you three played with it until you heard a deep voice. “Hey”

The three of you turned seeing the man awake he had a smile on his face as he waved at the three of you as you gasped, “Scatter!” The boys bolted as you put the shield down as you spoke, “Sorry-..” putting the shield down you spoke up, “I’m Y/N... ugh... sorry i walked in on the boys playing with it and- i couldn’t help myself.” He chuckled weakly shifting up as he said No worry as Sam walked into the kitchen.

“Hey Y/N” he reached over kissing your cheek it was a common greeting you both had. Since you were seven. You smield saying hey as he spoke, “what’s going on here? Your face is all red?”

Laughing weakly you shook your head, “Nothing! Nothing hey where is Sarah?”

“Not here- she went too the boat i think.”

You groaned hearing that. You were just at the docks at her boat looking for her- she wasn’t there. “No i was just there-“

“Sorry- oh so you meet?”

Shaking your head, “no- i mean i gave my name. He didn’t give his.”

Sam spoke, “good lets keep it that way.” You rolled your eyes, ‘your a prue gent Sam.” He rolled his eyes as the man chuckled as he spoke ‘I’m Bucky.”

Smiling at him Sam spoke, ‘hey- so.. Don’t mention the shield okay.”

he nudged his head at the shield that was leaning against the wall as you shook your head, “didn’t see a thing.. it’s not the real one is it?”

“yea- long story.”

you gasped gripping his arm, “Will I meet one of the Avengers? If I the Avengers are involved I’m going home too change out of my floured covered shirt.”

“No- No this is just Steve stuff.”

you meet Steve and even commented too Sam (when Steve went home) that if you weren’t married you would drool over Steve But at last.. you were married and couldn’t. But he was Fun too look at.

You nodded your head, “okay. Just- dont break it! With playing with it.”

Bucky grinned hearing that, you soon left as Bucky spoke, “So who’s that?”

“Family friend, she’s the kids godmother. And she’s like a sister so No flirting with her!’

“she’s not your special friend?” Bucky grinned seeing how he kissed her when he arrived as Sam spoke “gross No1 she’s like a sister she’s my best friend growing up she’s sensitive leave her alone.”

Later that day you arrived too Sarah’s Boat seeing Sam and Bucky were fixing it up for Her. As you walked over too the boat staying on the docks. Staring up at the two. they were having a drink as Bucky noticed you instantly wearing a plaid oversized shirt, some jean shorts that were covered in flour a grey -T shirt under the open plaid shirt and a grey hat. You wore sneaks as he smiled brightly, “hey Y/N.”

Smiling up at him saying Hey as Sam turned seeing you, “Yo Y/N what’s up?”

“where is your sister?! I haven’t seen her all day! It’s a small town!”

Sam rolled his eyes, “if you just carried a Phone you could joint the 21st century and Text her.”

Rolling your eyes at that. You stopped carrying your phone once you return from Europe mainly because you were getting Way too many text’s from the one night stands and everyone you wanted too talk too- you saw all day. You knew you should carry it for security and safety reasons. Plus playing music while you are alone in the morning working at the bakery would be nice. But you just keep forgetting. “I shouldn’t have too! She’s always other three places!”

Sam didn’t have the energy too fight but Bucky asked why you needed her so badly. As you spoke, “oh- Me and Sarah had planned something for tonight and I needed help with something nothing major I’ll keep looking for her-“

“Y/N!”

you all turned seeing Strewart dash over too you saying he had the fireworks . Which made you smile brightly, “seriously? “

“why you need fireworks?” Sam called out as you waved him off saying he would see later. You and Strew dashed off. Bucky couldn’t help but grin seeing you so gleeful.

“Hey- Stop looking at her-‘ Sam spat as Bucky chuckled softly saying okay.

It took you all day too find Sarah and too Get the “ritual” all set in motion. The Only thing your no good for husband had was your wedding dress. Mainly keep it because it was so exprience and he let he’s new Love wear it for a drag show. (The top was stained with makeup and it was in desperate need of some TLC ) but you got it.

Sarah suggested you just get ride of it. Which was such a marauded response. Get Ride of it? You couldn’t bar the thought of it being worn by anyone else. And the fact your husbands lover wore it. And ruined it. Made you decided too burn it. Too fully start anew.

your mom wasn’t thrilled with that idea. But Sarah was soon convinced espically seeing that the ball gown dress took majority of your closest.

it was her sons idea too attach it too a firecracker and fling it up into the air. And set it off. Which was a perfect idea.. which wasn’t very realistic So instead you figured. Fireworks by the water, and a huge Fire on the beach burning your dress and burning everything you had left of your former life.

Sam didn’t care one way or another that you did all this. He never personally liked your husband. By the time the fireworks were done, the parents went home and Sara’s kids went home which meant she went home. So Sam, Bucky and yu were sitting around the fire having drinks as you watched your dress burn.

“Y/N?” Bucky asked as you looked up too see him As he’s eyes brow frowned looking a t you, “you alright?”

nodding your head weakly you took a big gulp of beer as Sam spoke, “Hey maybe you should slow down.”

Shaking your head as you spoke, “I’m being reborn. Tonight Sammy.. No more stupid husband. i am officially Miss Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N again! I dont feel guilty anymore.”

“what you have too feel guilty for?” Sam said as you shook your head, “it wasn’t working before i dissapeared. Honestly we fought all the time. He was so controlling and demanding. LIke remember when i said that Winter soilder dude was incredibly Hot?” Sam chuckled as Bucky was stunned as he spoke “yea i remember you mentioning it.”

“that Jack ass- got so jealous. And of Steve! He kicked me out one night just because I had lunch with him and you.- that guy was a jackass and who gives up on their love after a week?” taking another drink you looke d at Bucky you were Far passed just a little tipsy. You didn’t care how drunk you got. Sam was here. And you were safe. “Would you give up on me. If we were in love? After a week?”

Bucky took a drink of his beer debuting on his answer mainly because he was worried he was overstepping on something between you and Sam. “No” he finally said as he spoke, “No i wouldn’t..” you nodded your head as you reached over patting his shoulder, “that’s because your a true gentleman!” He chuckled as Sam spoke, “okay.. your clearly drunk if your calling him a gentlemen.”

you laughed as you spoke, “i may be drunk Sir! But i can tell a gentlemen when i see one-“ you got up as you stumbled as Bucky swooped up fast catching you as you grabbed his arms. Feeling the hard metal arm as you chuckled weakly. “Hey you got a metal arm like that incredibly hot guy.” He chuckled as he went too talk but you patted his face, “you know- I told Sam the guy probably didn’t have enough hugs growing up.. you know your suppose too get ten hugs a day? Doctors prove it helps-“ you stumbled again as Bucky spoke, ‘I’m sure that’s it.” You chuckled as Sam got up, “Okay Y/N time too go home.”

“okay.... hey your getting blurry-“ and with that you passed out. Bucky grabbed you before you fell down as Sam sighed, “she’s having a hard time adjusting— I’ll carry her-“

“I got her.. lead the way.”

Sam didn’t argue he iddn’t really want too carry you all the way home.he could do it. But Bucky wouldn’t stugggle as much. Plus he was slightly tipsy and wasn’t sure he could carry you- without dropping you.

Sam let you all into your house. As Bucky carried you too your room. As Sam followed seeing how Odd how careful Bucky was with you. When you settled into your bed you mumbled something as Bucky covered you up As he smiled too himself before turning and leaving with Sam.

Sam watched as they left.

“So she doesn’t knwo about me huh?”

“No- thought i can’t wait too tell her tomorrow” Sam stated as Bucky grinned weakly. He couldn’t wait too see you tomorrow

#bucky barns imagine #bucky barns #fandom imagine #imagine #marvel imagine #tfatws #tfatws imagine #the felcon and the winter soilder imagine #the felcon and the winter soilder #Sam Wilson #Sam Wilson imagine

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rcl-stan · 3 years

Text

tw‼️pr*datory beh*vior mention, s*xual*zation mention, swearing

hey so i wanna talk abt frazel

as many of you may know, i dont like that ship. i dont like frank and i think that hazels maturity level is a huge problem on its own. my dislike for the ship isn’t entirely rooted in the age gap but i do still have some problems with it that i would like to address.

i know that if you have done the math, they technically met at 14 and 15 (theyre 14 and 16 the majority of the series though) and that the age gap is really 1.75 years (one year and nine months) but there are still things that bother me with that

first of all, and i wish i could scream this one in the ears of the ignorant, it depends on where youre from, who you know, and what you have experienced. for me personally, where i am from and from what ive been through and from the people i know that much older than me, they’re all absolute creeps that are desperate, predatory, and cant land anyone their own age so they go after vulnerable younger girls. the things i have heard them say about the younger people my age are absolutely disgusting and appalling and have deeply shaken me up if i am being honest. i understand that frank isnt like that and that this series is made for kids so he wouldnt be, but i just cant shake it. it also deeply worries me knowing that young kids thinking “frazel is otp” are probably gonna be more susceptible to this kind of stuff because they read about it portrayed as safe. the world is a fucked up place and i wish i could go into more detail on that topic, but i dont want to distract from the real issue im addressing

secondly, rick riordan still wrote frazel thinking that the age gap was 13/16. i know you may think that its okay because its a mistake and that thats not really what happened in canon because doing the math proves the 13/16 age gap to be false, but its not about what you think. its about what the author thought and their true intentions behind their actions. if im creeped out by a 1.75 year age gap you can bet your ass im creeped out by a three full year age gap, especially with those ages (ex 53/56 is fine, not 13/16). the fact that a grown man who taught kids around these ages and experienced their maturity and behavior first hand thought it was okay seriously creeps me out.

no, it doesnt “cancel out” because theyre both minors, its fucking creepy and i can justify that through first hand experiences

*eaei

#soel.txt #anti frazel #rr crit #swear tw #tw swearing #predatory behavior tw

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random-fandom1 · 3 years

Text

Lights were blaring, music blasting, sweaty bodies grinding against eachother. A hand touches Peter waist, lips attach themselves to his neck. A man, his name is James? What a strange name. A hot name. A perfect name for such a hot man. Moans escape him. Lips continue to assault his neck, a hand pulls him towards the exit

"Is this okay?"

That voice. If you could fall in love with voices, Peter would be walking down the aisle.

"yes"

8 years later

“Olly James Parker! Hurry up, you don't want to be late for your aunts! You know what MJ did last time.” Peter shudders remembering about how MJ purposely put sand in his salad the last time they were late. The quick patter of soft feet can be heard from the landing upstairs and suddenly a small boy dressed in overalls appears at the top of the stairs, a mop of brown curls covering his left eye.

"Where are we going daddy? Are we going to that fancy place Auntie Shuri took us last week? I didn't like that place, the big red things had strange eyes and the plates. They were, they were too big," The boy made huge over the top circles with his arms. Peter had to agree though, the plates were bloody huge, "I like the cafe Auntie MJ takes us too. I like Kath. She's nice. The pink doughnuts are my favourite" Peter listened to his son rant on about how pink doughnuts are his favourite from Cafe Asgard for about 5 minutes before speaking up.

"There's no need to worry babe, Auntie MJ is picking the place I think. Shuri and MJ had bet on who stole more of the others clothes, turns out it was Shuri and then Shuri, being the competitive bitch she is decided to try and seduce -" Realising he was wandering off appropriate topics for a 7 year old, and that he'd slipped up twice in that story. He looks down to realise he's probably safe as the boy is still going on about how the sprinkles are the right amount of hard. "Go get your shoes on bud"

"Ok" and with that Olly ran down the hall, curls bouncing with every step.

Peter couldn't help but admire his son. About how he was an exact copy of him, from the hair to the freckles scattered across his body. Olly carried his and his dad's intelligence and needed to figure out how stuff works. He was a total clone. Well, almost. He had his eyes. Those beautiful steel blue eyes, the ones that looked at him with so much passion that night. Peter cried when Olly opened his eyes for the first time, realising that he's going to have to be reminded of the man he fell in love with, the man who left him alone and pregnant in his bed, everyday for the rest of his life. He's going to be reminded of James.

Peter is pulled out of his thoughts by a small hand tugging his jacket.

"Come on daddy, I hear a horn honking outside. I don't want Aunties MJ & Shuri to be mad at me" Olly says, looking at his father with huge eyes, genuinely scared of angering his impatient aunts. Resisting the urge to coo, He crouches down in front of his son and wraps him in a hug.

"Oh buddy, they'd never be mad at you...me though, that's a different story. So on that note, chop chop, I'm quite fond of my head" Peter stands up from his crouched position, takes Olly's hand and walks out the front door

"-and the dinosaur was big and green with spik-"

"Ok Olls, I think that's enough of that story. Why don't we head inside" Peter said, holding a tight smile on his face. He unbuckled Olly and headed inside, followed closely by MJ and Shuri. MJ instantly headed towards their usual table beside the window while Shuri made her way into the queue where she instantly started talking to a brown haired man. 'Must be a friend from work' Peter thought. He crouched down to Olly’s level, "Why don't you go get a table with Auntie MJ and Auntie Shuri and I will order the food? You want a pink doughnut and a strawberry and banana milkshake, right?" Olly nodded and ran off towards MJ.

Peter took a moment to think about how he got to this very moment, about how he ended up having Olly. He thought back to the morning after. He woke up alone. James just slept with him, got up early in the morning and left without a word. Peter had to show himself out of his house. There was no note, no contact number, no nothing. All there was was a growing fetus and Peter who couldn't get the man with steel blue eyes and godlike voice out of his head. It was clear that he wanted nothing to do with Peter so in return, Peter decided that he didn't need him. That he can raise Olly by himself without another person. It helped that he had a big family and money was never an issue, seeing as his dad owns the biggest tech company in the world and his pops is a captain in the army. Sure he thought about going back to the flat, seeing if James felt the same way about him as he did. He wondered if Bucky would raise Olly with him, if they could be a family. He's shaken from his thoughts by his phone binging in his pocket.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he sees a message from his pops.

‘hey pete, do you know how to activate that protocol you used to wake us up with? Monster ear or something? dads fell asleep in his locked lab again. thanks, have a good day petey. love you x’

Peter lets out a chuckle when he reads the message. Trust his dad to forget to unlock the lab door. He starts to make his way over to where Shuri is holding their place in the line, typing back a reply to his pops.

“-and then glenn tried to make me take out her copies, like who does she think i am - oh, Pete there you are. I thought you got lost on your way over. Here meet my boss, Bucky, he knows all about yo - get off your phone it's rude” Shuri says, getting annoyed by his ignorance.

“Yeah, yeah. My pops is asking about commands again. I swear he never stops” he says, putting his phone into his back pocket and looking at Shuri. Peter was yet to look at the man in front of him, too busy giving Shuri a death glare.

“It's a pleasure to meet you Peter, Shuris told me a lot about you. She tells me almost daily about your latest mix up, I must say you have a lot.”

Peter freezes

Time stops

It's that voice, the voice he fell in love with. That deep and gruff voice with the right amount of softness on the edges. It's like music, the voice of angels.

He slowly turns his head to look at the man in front of him, watches as his eyes widen upon getting a full view of his face, realising washing over him.

Everything around them become background noise

The only people left in the cosy cafe are them, scrap that actually, the only people in the whole world are them.

They must be zoned out for a while because suddenly Shuris snapping her fingers in between them. Peter's cheeks flush a dark scarlet and he closes his mouth which must have fallen open.

“Peter, you have no idea how much I - fuck, Ive thought about this moment for so long, and I - god, I dont know what to say” Peters eyes snap back up to meet those eyes, those pools of steel blue. They haven't left his mind for years, haunted him around any corner he tried to turn.

Thats when he realised, he was in love with him. He loved James, he hasn't seen him for years, met him once before that, but fuck, he loved him.

“I-uh - I…”

“Daddy, whos this? His eyes look like mine. Isn’t that funny?” Olly comes over and stands next to his father, looking up at, well, his other father. Bucky looks down at Olly, then back up to Peter, then back down to Olly. You can practically see the gears turning in his head, probably trying to figure out who this is, probably piecing it together slowly. Peter gulps and then looks down at Olly.

“Olly, I told you to stay with Auntie MJ. You know what happened last ti -” Peters cut off for what feels like the 50th time today.

“How old are you kid?” His voice is shaking

“Don’t answer that”

“Whos your other daddy?”

“Don't answer that either, go back to Aun-”

“Answer me, how old are you kid?”

Olly is slightly hiding behind Shuris leg, not quite sure what to do.

“You can’t just go around asking people you've slept with and then left alone to clean up the pieces with not even a contact number or note or anything’s kids how old they are, what is wrong with you?!”

Something flashes across Buckys face, regret and hurt, but they quickly go back to rage. Steel blue eyes turning into a stormy grey, like a storm at sea.

“I can if they may be my child!”

“That doesn't make it right!”

“For god's sake, stop being so difficult-”

“I’m being difficult? Do you hear yours-”

“I do funnily enough -”

They’re interrupted by a small voice

“Im almost eight…”

Both they’re heads snap round, looking at the source of the voice. There they see Olly holding up 8 fingers. Tears well up in James’ eyes, the final piece clicking into the jigsaw

“Hes my son..” Its barely above a whisper. Peter lets out a defeated sigh

“Yeah, he's your son”

Slowly James crouches down to Olly's level. Olly looks him over, analyses him as if he's trying to figure out what's inside this man. It's scary that Bucky has the exact same look on his face. Eyebrows furrowed, steel eyes cloudy. It makes Peter's heart let out small flutters.

“Hey there kiddo, Im, well im your papa.” Olly takes a second to process what's just been said before running into his papas arms. Tears are streaming down his face. Both their faces. Scrap that, tears are running down most of the people in the cafe’s faces.

“I've always wanted a papa, daddy always used to say that you went on a mission to space and that its taking a while. But he always said you’ll be back.”

“Did he now?” Bucky looks into his eyes and all is said in that look.

He was going to do whatever it takes to be a part of this family, to be with the man he loves and their son.

And Peter wouldn't have it any other way.

“Whats a bitch papa?”

Shuri cackles, an old lady gasps and Bucky's eyes widen comically

fuck.

#peter parker #winterspider #bucky barnes #tony stark #avengers #superfamily #steve rogers #marvel #stony #cute #shuri #papa #sad #sadbeautifultragic

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effervescentdragon · 3 years

Text

okay so i gotta talk abt castlevania s4 and how it was relevant for me, and if you haven't seen it, this is gonna be spoilers all around, and if you dont want to read an overshare of a rant of mine, just skip this post, i love you still

i've been having the worst year out of all years of my life, including the year i was in a coma for like a month and a half. my mom was hospitalised and operated on bcs shit got seriously fu*ked up in her head, and me and my sister rushed to her from countries A and B to country C to take care of stuff. she got better, but, some 20 days after that, i went back to country A, and my sister to country B, when only my sisters intuition that sth was wrong made it possible to discover that our dad had a serious brain stroke in B. mom was in physical therapy in C, and i was stuck in country A bcs i wasnt yet vaccinated and i have 2 of the high risk diagnoses for covid and country B is like, the worst abt everything, especially healthcare. so i couldn't get to him, and my sis was left alone to deal w/ stuff before mom also came, and i lowkey fell apart a bit, bcs anyone who knows me, knows how attached i am to my dad.

so while waiting for news abt whats gonna happen, i stayed w my bff for some days. and i went and lit candles in a church bcs i knew it means a lot to my dad, and eid came and we all spent it together, and then i sat down one morning when i woke up at 6 and couldnt sleep so i was like. huh. i rmbr being excited abt castlevania s4. lets watch it, how much worse can it get?

and the thing is, they set up s3 in a way that made it pretty obvious how it could go. Alucard slaughtering the twins was a very cliched setup for him to turn Evil Like His Dad, and i was rly worried thats what was gonna happen, and Trevor and Sypha just had a huge disappointment happen and I was worried they would have relationship issues and i was just like "fuck. They're gonna make everything awful, aren't they?", but i was v numb and v tired and v commited to watch it. So i did.

And guess what. Guess fucking what. They didnt. They fucking didnt make everything awful, in fact, they made nothing awful. They made everything fucking happy. Alucard talked about his issues with, or more like at Greta, who is amazing and i will love her to death. He doesnt turn bad or evil, he just kinda. Grows up. And Sypha and Trevor talk, communicate, healthily, and there is no cheap thrills in their relationship. And Hector and Lenore are as fucked up as they can be, but he lets her die, which was the only fitting fate. And Carmilla gets to go out as a badass she is, knowing she would lose, but still giving it her all. And my favorite vampire lesbians survive and are still together (and holy fuck how awesome is Striga in that day-armour holy fuck). And you know what the best part is?

They all get a fucking happy ending. They all get a fucking happy ending, omfg, i haven't seen that in such a long time! A proper fucking happy ending, where the story arcs arent fucking tragic just because of a drama element, nope, no sir, if someone died, it was the best thing for them when alternative is taken into account.

And they could have gone the other way. They couldve made it realistic, and tragic, and just plain fuvking stupid. They fucking set tge scene for that kinda ending. But they didnt. They made them all happy, and together, and laughing, and just.. fucking wholesome, as much as sth gory as castlevania can be.

And i was just. So happy? Like, i cried af, and my bff was like "no spoilers" and i didnt say anything i just cried and felt kinda optimistic abt the future. So yeah. I just wanted to say that i'll never forget how in the worst period of my lifw so far, i went in expecting to be hurt af, and i wasnt, bcs someone said "fuck all this shit, thwres enough sadness and meaningless death in the world, lets have everyone happy and hale and awesome and alive and give them a happy ending". And its a bit ironic how that phrase has been synonymous w d**ney, and yet i havent seen one thing from that shitshow give even half a thought to the notions of "character development" and "happy ending" as much as Castlevania, an r-rated gory fucking cartoon did.

So. I just. I love castlevania s4 so much, im smiling even as i write this. And its a good memory from a v bad time, and i just. Appreciate the decisions the writers and creators and producers made about it more than i xan ever say.

And yeah, this is biased, and personal af, but honestly idgaf, we can talk abt colonialism and feminism and all that sometime else. Bcs this post exist for two reasons only. No. 1, for me to get some things off my chest in my usual way of identifying w a piece of media up to an unhealthy amount, and 2., for me to say that we all deserve a happy ending here and there.

#effervescentdragonrants #castlevania #castlevania s4 spoilers #i rant abt stuff bcs i need to say some things into the void #the most important thing is #i love castlevania #personal #but also not #whos counting #basically me ranting

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wkemeup · 3 years

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Hi again! Sorry to drop my issues on you, but if its not too much trouble, i could use some advice. I have "i can fix them" disese, twords fictional and real people (the problem is real people lol) where, if someone tells me there depressed (or anything upsetting), i have the mentallity that i now have to "fix" it. but because that is a non-realistic goal for only myself to deal with, i get drained and go on a self pity party cause i feel so helpless. I vent to my mom, who does help. But she says i "care too much about things i dont need to worry about" like if someone is dealing with a mental disorder, and i cant help, i feel useless cause i know there in pain. But i also know i cant put others responsibility of staying alive on myself. So... i know i need to care for myself first before i take on others issues, i accept i have a problem with being too sensitive and taking on too much. But its something iv just always done without thinking, and i have no idea how not to do that. So, after that long ramble (sorry) how the hell do i stop caring so much, and how can i put myself first, without feeling selfish for not being so selfless that i give up my own mental happiness? Also, ironic i know. But i plan to be a forensic psychologist, and as u can guess, im sensitive. How can i seperate my feelings after a tough day? How do you do it?

Okay, lots to unpack here. So first - the first step is always becoming more aware of your thought process and behaviors, which you've already done. You recognize you have a tendency to want to 'fix' everyone's problems, sometimes to your own detriment. This is a mindset that takes time to reframe and effort to do that. It doesn't happen overnight and it can only change if you're willing to work on it.

The biggest thing for me, is recognizing that you are not responsible for anyone else's life choices, behaviors, or feelings. You're clearly a very empathetic person, so I know you're clearly trying to offer support and be a listening ear for these people. But you can't force them into talking or seeking help or getting better. That had to be a choice that make on their own.

The other is I would recommend reframing your view on people that are problems that need fixing. I totally understand where you're coming from, but consider offering your support instead of 'fixing’ the problem. Not everyone wants a solution or wants to be 'fixed.' Sometimes people really just want to be heard and validated and that's enough. Again- the only life you have control over is your own. If they're asking for help and for guidance, then go for it! Help them deal with whatever problem is causing issues or help take them out for dinner or spend time watching movies to life their spirits.

When it comes to setting boundaries for yourself and prioritizing your own mental health, think of it like this - you can't help anyone else if you're running on fumes. It's the whole 'put the oxygen mask on yourself before the child sitting next to you' thing. A lot of people view things like self care as inconsequential, but it is so so important. It's not a waste of time. It's investing in yourself so that you can better enjoy the things you love and do everything else you need to do. If you're not giving that time to yourself too, it becomes exhausting and impossible to help everyone else. It doesn’t have to be huge. It can literally be just spending time with your hobbies, with friends, reading, watching your favorite show. Skin care, eating something comforting, drinking water, taking a walk. Just something you’re doing for the enjoyment of it.

As for compartmentalising at work - I'm not entirely sure exactly what your specific position would be like, but I can speak to my own experience. I take it from the same angle of the fact that I am not responsible for my patient's choices. I do what I can to support them and guide them and give them the tools they need, but the second they walk out of my office, I no longer have any control over the situation. Even in general, all I have with them is my 45 min block however often I see them, and the rest of that day and that week or however long in between, is up to them. I work with a lot of folks who struggle with suicidal thinking and i have to practice this a lot for myself too. I can only assess them in the time they’re with me. I can’t be responsible for anything that happens outside of my office they may react to. It’s still a choice they make. I can’t carry that. You have to take the weight off your shoulders. You do what you can with what you have control over, and let go of what you cant. It takes practice and it’s really hard sometimes. I have to work on that a lot myself. But using little mantras to cut yourself off when you can feel yourself slipping down that path is helpful. I'll literally stop my train of thought and tell myself - 'you are not responsible for their choices. You do not have control over this. Let go and move forward.' Or something to that effect. Self talk with this stuff is sooo important.

but again - all this stuff is stuff you work on. It doesn't happen overnight, but you have to try. Make time for self care. Use self talk to remind yourself what you do and don't have control over. Learn to let go. Take the weight off your shoulders.

Hope that's helpful ❤️

#inbox #the advice tag

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7wanderingpaws · 4 years

Text

Simply, yours (8) (M)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: family AU, hapkido teacher AU, PhD AU

Word count: 3.8K

Warnings: cursing, mature content, angst

A/N: This one was so easy and fun to write frankly! Thank you so much for letting me know your opinions for the last chap, it motivates me like 1000x more! If you could tell me what you thought about this one as well, it would be nice! Thank you 🎉 And sorry I edited this one, but Im sure there will be typos and sentences that made sense in my head while I edited but they actually dont, apologies!

Tags: @milky-baek @itsbaekhyunsbutt @luvhtears @ shesdreaminginoverdose (if you want to be tagged/untagged let me know! Im always open^^)

MASTERLIST

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Once again, you entered your apartment in silence, except the few times Baekhyun let out a tired, exasperated sigh. Your phone was blowing up with messages from your boss; honestly, you didn't understand why was he even trying to contact you after everything that happened. By now you knew you wouldn't be able to save your work spot. Not after what Baekhyun did. And here you were, worrying about not telling your darn boss about your pregnancy.

In the safety of your apartment full of love, you were able to feel. The hotness of emotions was coming back to your bloodstream, the numbness from throwing up and the adrenaline of the fight -it was all palpable in fading touches.

This time, it was you who let out a tired sigh, but you felt the burn behind your eyes yet again as you made your way to the bedroom to collect some clean clothes before making a beeline for the bathroom, ignoring Baekhyun's angry expression as you passed by him.

Before you could close the door, he murmured your name in a warning.

“What.”

“You know we need to talk, right?” he snapped, turning to you. He spotted your bloodshot eyes, full of unshed tears and he assumed you weren't seeing him properly. He was right.

You saw him blurry like a modern art painting. Pretty, yet so… unreadable, almost worrying at how you couldn't see to the depths of it. “I know.”

At your terse answer, he clenched his jaw and you blinked, letting the tears roll down your cheeks just to see the tick in his jaw, the set of his chin almost scary. “Go,” he sighed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his dress trousers. “We will talk once you're out of there.”

Without waiting for your response, he turned abruptly but to your surprise, he reached for the front door, swinging it open. You closed your eyes just in time for it to slam shut. And he was gone.

Quietly, you took a long shower, thinking he wouldn't be back until… well, until he deemed good to be back. Which could be whenever.

Honestly speaking, you never had such a big, troubling fight before. Never. Yes, you did fight, but he never left you. Not at that hour, anyway. And you were also never pregnant. So this was one of a kind problem you found yourself in, and as you tried not to sob through your entire shower, your mind instead stormed through options you had with what happened.

Except, you had none.

You were out of job.

Your boyfriend, a hapkido master, used violence on your boss.

Your boyfriend could be reported.

You lied to your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend… was mad at you. Livid.

Was this the end of your relationship?

No.

He wouldn't let go of you that easily, and the realisation of that made you sob right then and there. The relationship you two shared was stronger than any of your doubts that were scaring you; it was stronger than any bad word, any bad action, because you two were more than that and your connection was stronger than that. As much as it hurt you that he left without telling you, you knew him well enough to know he would be coming back to you. You knew he would forgive you and he wouldn't break up with you. Not when you were carrying his children. Baekhyun was much, much more than an angry emotion and a protective action.

And you were pregnant with him.

Three kids. Three.

“Fuck,” you sighed as you closed your eyes under the hot water, wanting it to drown out all of your intruding thoughts.

If there was an issue you two genuinely had to worry about, it was how you would feed them and yourselves. Would you even survive bearing three children till the end? Would you survive giving birth? You were way past the first trimester which meant you were over the dangerous period, but you knew better than that. Bearing one child was a constant risk. Three? Definitely playing with fire.

Not wanting to create a huge water bill, you reluctantly turned off the shower even though your body screamed for more. Tired and aching, you dried yourself up, not bothering to put on a lotion; smells had been playing with your stomach too much and you literally despised and hated the constant throwing up game.

It was just ten minutes after your shower; you were lying in the bed, tucked in and ready to call it a day, when Baekhyun came back. His timing was perfect and it meant he didn't wander off in the dark streets to let his frustrations out. He probably went for a short walk.

Some shuffling later, he appeared in the doorway, the small lamp next to the mattress you were lying on gently illuminating your tired self. You didn't dare to look at your boyfriend, but you knew you had to do it. He was expecting you to. He was not in the place to beg for forgiveness now. If it was anyone, it was you.

Sighing, you pressed your lips together as you sat up slowly, looking him dead in the eyes; those dark eyes that had still some leftover heavy showers in them.

“Baekhyun,” you started and he kept your gaze daringly, leaning against the doorframe. When he didn't speak, you pursed your lips. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you.”

Silence.

“I will need more than that.” Was his cold answer.

“Don't you want to sit down?”

He was quiet for a moment, but then he crossed his arms. You knew better than to test him. When it came to irrational stuff you did, he was using the “I'm older” type of power against you, and you couldn't argue with that. “What did he make you sign?”

Once again, it was quiet. He was burning you with his scorching gaze, and you felt your cheeks heat up in complete embarrassment and self-loathing. But you needed to be honest. “I-I'm not sure if it was in the contract,” you started, trying not to stutter, “but he made me… Ehm, I was not supposed to fall pregnant. In exchange of him promoting me at work.”

As expected, Baekhyun let nothing to be read from his face. “Did you sign the contract and not read what it said?”

Please, make this stop. “Yes. But I really didn't think that-t-that-”

He spoke your name, cold and harsh, obviously upset. “You didn't think what?! Just how irresponsible it is not to read the conditions of a piece of fucking paper that can be used against you, huh?!”

Slowly, you tried to breathe. This was necessary. He had to let it out.

“You could have signed him owning you for all I know! Fucking hell,” he sighed, now running his hand through his hair wildly, turning away from you for a moment before sharply turning back, startling you. “And you just wanted to do it because what- you wanted more money? Is it all about money for you?! Since when did you become so fucking materialistic that you would stand in your own damn dreams!!!”

Tears, tears, tears, and he was completely right. Opening your mouth, he snapped.

“No, don't speak! I don't want to hear it right now! Fuck,” he murmured, and paced in front of you, his jaw set strong. “You weren't even pregnant when it all happened, why would you want to get to more money so badly?!”

“I wanted to provide for us as well!” you shouted back now, but your voice was so shaky you felt like you sounded pathetic. He had to know, though. “We are coming from a low-class background, Baekhyun! Why is it so bad for me to want to do more when I am perfectly able to do so?”

“Because you would have ruined your own dreams while chasing something so artificial!” he shouted back, stepping closer to where you were sitting, but you didn't budge from the sudden movement. “Money was, and money will be! But us creating a family together won't be a forever opportunity! And you were willing to just hang it up for, what, 300.000 won more? Don't be ridiculous! Plus! He is a fucking arsehole! If he isn't touching you up, he is treating you like complete shit; you deserve better than any of this! And if I could have, I would have beaten him up long ago.”

You averted his gaze. His words were driven by his love for you, you knew that much. So as much as you wanted to be offended and hurt, he was hundred percent right. Everything he just threw into your face was correct and you couldn't defend yourself, because he would come at you right away.

“Is this really everything our relationship means to you?” he asked, a bit more quietly, but his tired tone was scarring your heart. You dared to look back at him, to see him staring on the ground, one hand on his hip.

“No,” you said and you cried again, “it isn't and you know it, too.”

“Do you think I am incapable of taking care of us? Of the kids?” he looked at you, huge puppy eyes on full display as he slowly let his guard down. “Because all of this just proves you don't trust me as the breadwinner of this household.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your arguments, but ended up going against it. “Baekhyun, we aren't in a situation where I need to stay home, clean and do nothing while you get to earn money as if it was some easy thing to do. I am, and I will continue to work,” you replied resolutely despised tears rolling down your cheeks, “and it isn't you as a breadwinner, but us.”

The society surely was patriarchal, so if you dared to talk to your father in this manner, he would have slapped you. There was no such thing as a woman who got to go against her husband or brother.

Baekhyun, however, wasn't your father or your brother. He wasn't even your husband, and when you saw his troubled look, he finally let himself sink down on the mattress. He was your kind, loving boyfriend. “I already said this,” he started, “but I am not, and I won't keep you inside the house, locked up, while waiting for me to return to you after work. I won't tell you what to do, you know I never did,” he said in a more friendly manner, but it still beared authority. “I respect you as a woman,” he said, speaking your name softly, “and you are my everything.” His hand reached out to caress your cheek that was still wet from your tears. “I need to see you only smiling, happily, but I cannot accept you lying to me like this again. I thought we had been together long enough for us to earn each other's trust, and you going like that behind my back and signing bullshit was nothing but stupid and irresponsible. Especially because your pregnancy was jeopardized like that. You can't be under stress like that, sweetie.”

Hearing him calling you a pet name, you knew the war was over and he finally was on the positive side. His authoritative voice still kept you on edge, so you didn't throw yourself at him just yet.

“If he kicked you out, which I'm pretty much convinced he did, I wouldn't be against you not working until you give birth.”

“Baekhy-”

“Shh, let me speak, honey,” he said quietly and shuffled himself closer, sitting right opposite you cross-legged as he took your hands in his. “Listen. I know you know it, but having three babies under your heart is a dangerous situation,” he whispered loudly, bringing your intertwined hands to his lips. “It's dangerous especially for you. You are very tired after work, and you come home late and don't get enough rest. Sukyeong even told me you don't always keep up with your meals, and I don't like it one bit.” The way his lips moved against the skin of your hand was soothing you. “Accept that he threw you out, before I file a lawsuit against him for harassing you and making you sign nonsense contracts, and stay home. Find a part-time job instead, but you need to rest, darling.”

“Baekhyun,” you finally spoke and he hummed, as he let your hands fall to his lap. His eyes were now so gentle and full of worry. “I am so sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have done any of that, but please know I did it with good intentions.”

Baekhyun went silent for a bit, analysing your face, your tired features and pale skin, which only reminded him you had been throwing up today and dealing with the situation in the restaurant. Suddenly, he felt so guilty for making you go through all of it in just one evening, (although you were responsible for it, too). Let alone he just shouted at you for good ten minutes. He couldn't even imagine what other things you must have been feeling the past weeks, given how your body was changing day by day. “It's alright, babe, it's alright. I understand. C'mere,” he whispered, opening his arms and you threw yourself at him, making him almost fall back on his back. You snuggled your face into his neck, and he let out a satisfied breath, caressing your back gently. “I'm sorry for shouting at you. But I'm not sorry for punching that idiot. He deserved it.”

You were looking at the skin on his neck and how it disappeared under his shirt that had the first two buttons undone. “Thank you for standing up for me, honey.”

“My baby,” he murmured lovingly into your hair before he gave it a kiss. “My only baby.”

You woke up to slow, gentle caresses on your small belly as your shirt was ridden up just a tiny bit, Baekhyun not wanting to wake you just yet. He was behind you, wanting to spoon you as soon as he washed up and fell in bed next to you last night. It didn't take long for both of you to fall asleep, as surprising as that was. The events tired you out, and he wanted you to sleep as much as you could.

He kissed your clothed shoulder before he nosed your neck and buried his face in your hair, while his caresses didn't stop. Letting his eyes close for a moment, he brought his front just a little closer to you, his leg wrapping around yours that were politely connected. His hand absentmindedly wandered further up before going dangerously low, sending shots of pleasure down your core without even paying attention. You knew he would soon realize his effect on you, because you definitely felt like squirming in his hold.

His hand lazily dragged upwards almost touching the underside of your breast when you couldn't keep it in anymore, breathing in sharply just for his hand to stop right under the-

“Oh, I finally have you awake,” he murmured, his husky voice sending another set of chills down your spine.

You couldn't help but smile, happy you woke up to this. The fluid down there was saying something else, though.

“Slept well?” he murmured into your ear, as he continued dragging his hand up. You groaned softly when he groped your breast as he pushed himself even more into you, and you felt it. He was so ready for you.

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, enjoying the massage as he proceeded to nibble on your ear from behind, your eyes closed in pleasure. “You?”

“I realised we didn't keep our promise, babygirl.”

Your breath hitched in your throat when your realised what he was implying.

“So, is my beautiful lady still horny enough to go the remaining two rounds?” His voice was so deep, you felt yourself scrunching your eyes shut, the adrenaline quickly making its way into your bloodstream. “We will take it,” he murmured and this time his hand was going down, down, down, the panties the only barrier from his wandering hand as he lifted the hem of them teasingly, testing just how ready you were for him, “very slowly, my dear.”

His fingers played with you just for few seconds before he pushed his middle finger inside, your mouth opening in a silent moan as you leaned back into him.

“It's so early, but you are already like this,” he continued while your head was swimming, his ministrations nothing short of slow, yet so pleasurable, “all for me.”

Your insides were squeezing painfully, and he wasn't moving faster, nor did he have the intentions. “Baekhyun,” you said, trying not to pant too loudly, “I just want you.”

“Hmm? Speak louder, I'm still sleepy.”

“You're such a tease,” you whispered in disbelief before surprising him by reaching behind you to touch him exactly where he needed you. He hissed, his eyes looking at your profile to see the smirk you had on your face.

“I wanted it to be slow, romantic and all of that,” he mumbled before pushing your hand away while he sat up, causing you to fall on your back. As soon as his hand was out of your panties, you felt a pang of frustration before he covered your body with his, his face close to yours as you tried to calm down from him fingering you so sensually.

“I want none of that,” you replied as you grabbed his face for a heated kiss, “I want you inside me, just about now.”

“Needy, naughty…” he muttered with a flirty smirk as he teased you at your opening, causing both of you to groan. “Are you ready, sweetie?” And he still made sure you were okay with him.

“I'm always ready for you,” you whispered, spreading your legs even more for him, as he pushed himself in, your eyes instantly closing in wonderful pleasure only he was able to give you.

He stayed inside, buried and panting into your hot mouth as he rested his forehead on yours. “Sweetheart, open your eyes for me, hm? I love you, you know that?”

“I know that. And I love you, do you know that?” you reciprocated, smiling up at him only to be rewarded with his smiley eyes as he pushed back before diving right in few more times, where he hit your sweet spot. Moaning loudly, he dragged his face to suck on your neck before he took one of your hands, intertwining them with his as he pushed it up above your head.

“I know that. You are my angel,” he said, finishing it with a guttural groan as he felt you pulsing around him, knowing you were about to cross the edge and he was not far behind you. “Come for me. We have another round,” he breathed before kissing you passionately, messily, moanily.

You mentioned you wanted none of slow. And in the second round, he gave you just that. Baekhyun became ruthless, just before whispering: “Are you riding?” And he was fast to change positions. He helped you straddle him although you definitely had the energy to move and climb by yourself, given your crazy hormonal drive.

“That was just a warm-up session.” He warned, not waiting for you. Your screams, his groans, the heat, it was all so fucking amazing you were left in a complete bliss. You were fast to catch up to him, moving your hips while he was watching from beneath you, eyes dark, glazed over and completely smitten by you.

“You're the best,” you breathed out as you dragged your hands to you breasts, but Baekhyun wanted none of that. He swiftly sat up, his chest almost pressed to yours while you continuously rode him, up and down, your hands being pushed aside just to be switched with his as he added his sinful lips to the swell of your breasts.

“You're a goddess, mummy,” he muttered, leaving a wet trail on your chest while his hands squeezed and massaged your mounds.

“Baekhyun!” you scolded, and despite the sweat and the delightful pull in your belly approaching yet again, you blushed; the blush definitely caused by his choice of words.

He looked into your eyes, his ones proud and lustful. “It's true,” he muttered, groaning as you sank down exceptionally hard, almost falling onto his sturdy chest. His hands were now squeezing your sides, helping you out, unable to keep the needy touches to himself when you looked so gorgeous like that. He squeezed your arching body to his sweaty chest.

A quick glance at your swollen belly that he made sure you noticed, his hand came to touch against it and you were gone. He caressed you there gently while swallowing your moans as you grabbed his face, kissing him, your hair falling, creating an intimate curtain just around where your mouths were connected. You still had an unearthly energy to help your boyfriend out to his orgasm, not wanting to be in the ecstasy alone, and as much as Baekhyun needed the release, his hands slid across your sides, holding your hips to stop their movement.

“Enough, baby girl,” he whispered into your mouth, leaning back ever so slightly to see your flushed cheeks, sweaty forehead. “I don't want you to hurt yourself.” He was still panting and you swore to god he looked so handsome with his hair glued to his forehead, puffy cheeks. You might have gotten horny again.

“Come with me,” you insisted, attempting to to move again but he bit his lip, a cheeky glint in his eyes, and he held your back tenderly, moving you to lie on your back, while slipping out of you. Hissing, he stood up quickly.

“I'll be right back.”

Trying to calm your breath, you closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling in your aching body. A knowing smile played on your lips; Baekhyun would rather get a cold shower then another orgasm from you, just because he was worried about you. If that wasn't some darn good self-control, you didn't know what it could be.

Just as he promised, he was back soon, a towel in his hands to help you clean up. Once done, he lied back down next to you and you immediately curled up by his chest. “That was amazing.”

“Hmm, you are amazing,” he said. After a little pause, he asked: “You feeling alright?”

“Perfect. But I could go again, you know? You don't have to be so careful with me.”

He snorted as he played with the ends of your hair. “Jeez, you already have my baby! Actually three of them! Slow down, woman.”

You both laughed heartily, and he loved the sound.

“But I want to have youuu, my love,” you whined.

“You have me. You always have me. I'm yours. I'm just simply yours.”

A/N: just to clarify, this isnt the end, we still have quite some things to get through actually - more drama ㅠㅠ! Just didnt want to leave you on a cliffhanger. Hope you liked this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Any feedback is very much appreciated 🥺 🥺

#baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun imagine #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo smut #exo fluff #exo au #baekhyun au #kpop fanfiction #kpop smut #kpop au #my writings

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