#i dont know how to make this post not corny but listen. let me be a lil corny.

[audarcy]

autumn is settling in, and i think you owe yourself a moment with a window open, a cup of tea/cocoa, and this album of piano songs.

[zxombii]

💉🫀🦴 ︵ " Crazy Lovin' "

( ♡,, › ｏ‹ ,, ) — ❝ for u lonely ppl ❞ mimi says.

︶︶ . ˚ ticci toby relationship headcannons ⑅

— gender non-specified. warning for obsessive/possessive loving, slight one-sided love, hint of murdering/yandere behavior, unhealthy relationship to a healthier one, scars, suggestive (?), lowkey corny im sorry

— contains ticci toby, mentions of clockwork.

words of affirmation. giving and receiving. he needs to be aware always that u love him or he can get distant and almost moody, overthinking that ur love for him is non-existent. pls reassure him and he will be back to being silly.

^^ i also like to think about him liking physical touch! he is very touch starved obviously, but just denies it. he doesnt know exactly why he denies it as there is no reasoning to do so, but he just. feels embarrassed. like, "oh yeah btw pls touch me cause i never was loved as a kid and touch actually makes me feel appreciated and cherished". WHO WANTS TO ADMIT THAT REALISTICALLY. (literally the same with words of affirmation. he needs to know he is loved and just touch or praises have him on his knees) (<- not really meant sexually but. ok.)

since he is very busy most the time, dont expect the most love from him. he may need love alot from u, but u wont get alot in return. some ppl might be mad at me for not making him the most amazing loving silly courageous out-going person ever who loves u sm but. cmon. he is a literal killer. yes, he loves u, but he cant always show it considering hes on missions more then half the time. he will smother u in love when he can. i can assure u he feels bad though.

^^ pls be able to suffice having long periods of time alone cause he is not gonna be around alot im srry

really protective. unsurprisingly. he is scared to lose u, and just knowing that he doesnt and isnt able to show his love often, just further worries him that u will leave him for someone else. when he is actually around, he is attached to ur HIP, constantly near u to make up for all the time he wasnt.

^^ when someone flirts with u he swears he physically feels his blood boil and he just cant help it. hes bad at hiding it aswell. like. his hands clench quickly into fists, literally having to remind himself that u wont leave him. if the person isnt one of the proxies, they likely wont be speaking to u again (if u catch my drift).

at the beginning of the relationship, he was very awkward. it was extremely one-sided love, not knowing how to treat u. he felt so bad cause of this. when finally warming up to u he would Never let that leave his mind, occasionally just saying sorry even if in the past. it wasnt really his fault either, never have dated anyone except clockwork but he literally did nothing with her. i have stated in a previous post that he still proceeds to say he has never dated anyone despite dating clockwork for a little while.

knows little to nothing about healthy relationships. healthy? normal? dont know her. what do u expect from a guy who kills practically daily. im sorry but if u think that ur guys relationship is gonna be cupcakes and rainbows, ur so wrong. the beginning of ur guys relationship was awkward as said before, and he was likely weird. and yeah.

^^ chances that u guys met because u wanted to go into the forest (cause ur lowkey dumb /j) is so high. but idk and i dont want to go to indepth incase i make a post on how u met some of the proxies anytime soon.

trauma dumping. u or him. pls just talk he loves listening i promise. really good listener. i kinda headcannon that he is like, 20% deaf in one ear, but anyways um. still a really good listener if ur speaking next to his good ear (sorry)! if u like to listen, he will trauma dump. thing is, he doesnt know when to stop. of course, his skittish and awkward self wouldnt start trauma dumping far into the relationship.

after maybe 6+ months, he will finally showcase his face. when traumadumping, he never mentions his face. like a surprise. but a horrific one. he was obviously scared to lose u and was so scared to show u his mouth, or just his face overall. his eyes have been the only thing u have seen these past 6 or more months. when u accept his facial gash and say it was fine, pls dont be surprised if he cries. might clutch onto u and sob into ur shirt if u allow him. will show u other scars of his if ur comfortable with that, expecting body praise. pls praise him he just wants love

^^ hes still that touch starved, possibly depressed, teen on the inside.

although a little unrealistic (I DONT CARE LOWKEY!!) i think he is very loving further into the relationship. bringing u on dates when he has time, having just time alone to smother u with cuddles and stuff. y'know. the normals. he really does try to be the best boyfriend he can, being aware that he isnt always around to provide the normal amount of affection that should be exchanged between normal couples. of course, u two werent a normal couple. he was a literal murderer and u were.. u. no other way to describe ur relationship other than abnormal which was obvious.

^^ "I d-do luh-love—ghk—you. I pruh-promise. It's just.. h-hard to sh-showcase." he would say to u occasionally.

— i do not allow my work to be translated, stolen, or anything similar. everything i write is made by me and only me unless i say differently on that post. credits to zxombii on tumblr. i have no side blogs.

[fuxuannie]

↳ pairing(s) : various hsr men x gender neutral reader

↳ synopsis : "I know that I'd be lying if I didn't want you here" - LDR by Shoti ♡ (stream btw)

↳ authors note : ITS MY BIRTHDAYY WOOHOOOOOO i cant pull an i'm 14 card anymore <\3 (ill keep doing it with 15) i dont know why i chose this specific prompt as a birthday post but um.. yipee?

☆☆ YOU'RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND, THATS HOW MUCH I CARE

DAN HENG sighs as he lays in bed, his arm covering his eyes as his mind is clouded with thoughts of only one person. He lifts his right arm up slightly to check his phone in his other hand, a photo of you and him as the lock screen while a soft smile appears onto his features.

Whenever he missed you, which was often, he found himself listening to various of your voice notes and scrolling through the hundreds of photos you two would take together in the rare occasions that he'd visit the Space Station. "Let's make as many memories as possible, okay?" He remembers you always saying, holding his hand and giving him that oh so adorable smile he can't help but adore.

☆☆ I CANT THINK OF A TIME THAT YOU WEREN'T THERE

Ever since you left, JING YUAN's longing for your presence worsened everyday, the ache in his heart as he no longer woke up to see you during his morning stroll would bring his mood down tremendously. You were apart of his every day life, during his mornings, during his afternoons and if he was lucky enough you'd be there at night too. So his minds gone mad wondering for your safety and the day you'd return, if that would ever happen.

He has so much to say and to do, but as you told him, he'll wait for the right time. When you and him are ready, ready to call you his and him as yours.

☆☆ I KNOW THAT I'D BE LYING IF I DIDN'T WANT YOU HERE

GEPARD handled the distance between you a little.. differently, to say the least. Lying to himself that he didn't miss you wasn't exactly working the way he wanted it to. "I dont miss them." He says, as he buys your favorite drink to get that feeling of you being around. "I don't miss them." He'll say, holding onto your jacket at night as it still somehow smelled like you. So many things he'd do conciously or subconciously just because he couldn't handle a life without you.

☆☆ CAUSE BABY, IM INLOVE AND WHY CANT YOU JUST LIVE NEAR?

CAELUS smiles as he sees your excitement over the phone, the 3 hour mark on your videocall just passed and you were talking about the latest discovery you made on your research. "Don't you miss it?" He'll ask, watching your expression change to a bit of confusion as you blinked. "Miss what?"

"Y'know, being with me?"

He sees how you chuckle in disbelief and shake your head, "Of course I do." you answered softly. "But.. I can see you love what you do, right? I want you to be happy. And I can settle for this."

There's an ache to his heart, he dramatically clutched his chest and groaned. Earning a giggle from you on the other end, and that ache disappears at the mere sound of your laughter. "But.. I love you too, shouldn't that mean you should be right here in my arms?"

You playfully scoff. "Corny."

[cupoftaae]

come over- KTH drabble

A/N :ahem. clears throat.

Guys I want to apologize for not posting for so long, I have been so busy with school and work but I promise im already writing chapter 3 of "Forever And A Day", it will be out soon. Thanks for all the support and sorry for the wait :(

let me distract you with a drabble

warnings: none really? lil suggestive but just fluffy.

pairing: taehyungx f!reader

enjoyyyy

--

"what is wrong with you?"

you lifted your head off the pillow to look at your laptop, your boyfriends face looking back at you with sad eyes over the video call.

your dark eyes glared him down before he realized how defensive his previous statement came off as.

"I didnt mean it like that!" he chuckled nervously as he through his hands up, further explaining himself. "I mean, whats going on? youve been kinda off lately." he picked at his bottom lip after he spoke.

you simply shrugged and exhailed heavily, your boyfriend was too observant for your own good. you knew you were beginning to struggle with things again recently, but it wasnt anything you couldnt handle. Besides, Taehyung has his own shit to go through. The last thing you need is to throw yourself into his arms and sob about how pitiful your life is despite the fact you cant even do an-

"baby?"

you look down at your screen.

he sends a sympathetic smile your way before speaking. "where are you right now?"

"my room?" you furrowed your brows, confused.

"no, what are you thinking about? whats going on my love?" he further pushes, seemingly worried, which only makes you worried.

you sigh and lean back so you are out of the cameras view, clutching onto your pillow as you mentally debate yourself. "im just having a hard time right now" you mumble quietly, and although he cannot see you, taehyungs eyes are fixated on his laptop.

"I dont want to bother you tae, its just....its just a lot, and frankly Im not in the mood to discuss it toni-"

"Y/N"

"what?" you turn your head and lift the laptop so you can see him.

"its okay if you dont wanna talk tonight, but I really dont want to leave you alone right now. Can I come over?" he spoke with the softest voice, as if he was tiptoeing and nervous of your answer.

"tae, baby, you really dont have to"

"but I want to" he pouted adorably. You knew deep down that you didn't want to be alone either, but you also felt guilty for being the cause of him driving so late over to your apartment in the rain.

you sighed deeply before accepting, knowing he was coming whether you agreed or not. "just drive safe ok? please?" you spoke as you watched him dart up to grab his jacket

"I will my sweet girl, I will be there soon, Love you" he spoke, blowing a kiss into the screen, making you laugh at how corny he was when it came to you.

"love you too" you smiled softly and disconnected the call, cleaning your room quickly as much as you could. Over the past few weeks you had been struggling to find energy to do simple shit, like laundry. your room was a mess frankly, and you didnt want him to see what youve been dealing with.

about 20 minuets later, you open your apartment door to a wet hair-ed taehyung. you had dragged him in quickly and fetched a towel to rinse his hair, making him laugh.

"back from the war babe, you miss me?" he teased, gently grasping your arms from his head and pulling you against his chest.

"yes, I missed you a lot. I didnt realize how bad the weather was, im sorry you had to drive through that" you offer an apologetic smile, stepping back to look at him.

his large hands cupped your cheeks, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips. "stop apologizing you loser" he laughed and stepped away quickly to show you a large brown paper bag. "look" he spoke, seemingly proud of himself for whatever it was.

"wow a bag" you giggled, watching him walk into the kitchen to set it down. "no no," he turned to you, "close your eyes!" he spoke with excitement as you followed his orders, unable to see, but listening to the ruffling of the bag.

"okay, look now" he laughed softly as you gently fluttered your eyes open to see your boyfriend standing in front of you with a small bouquet of flowers, and the biggest grin across his face.

your eyes dart between them and him and you pout, "baby you didnt have to get me flowers?" you reached out and held them, they were so beautiful. how did he get these so late? you dont deserve him.

"thank you so much my love, but why did you get this?" you spoke as he brought you close, kissing your head. "well, you said you were having a hard time...and we dont have to talk about it..but I wanna make you feel better. Pretty things always make me feel better, and flowers are pretty and so are you, so....."

you look up at him and resist the urge to pinch his bread cheeks and leave kiss marks all over them. you loved this man to death.

"youre such a sweetie" you nestled your head against his chest as you both swayed gently in the kitchen at 3:28am. "I love you, thank you sweet boy"

"I love you most, princess." he ran his hand through your hair before seeming to remember something suddenly. "Oh! also, baby, I have some more surprises for you." he stood back and wiggled his eyebrows at you.

you raised a brow, "is it sex?"

he looked taken back, "well no...." he blushed as he continued to dig into the brown bag to pull out a small container of ice cream, grabbing two spoons and holding it up for you. "but maybe we can do that after" he smirked.

you laughed and took the ice cream into your hands. only your boyfriend would come bearing sweets this late. "Thank you, again" you smiled and kissed his cheek. "you didnt have to do all this, seriously."

he shook his head and took your hand. "I love you, and things will be ok. I dont have to do anything, but you deserve everything"

you hugged him so tight you both almost lost your balance.

"cmon babe, lets go indulge in chocolate-caramel ice cream, while we lay in bed and watch netflix" he skipped childishly to your room as you followed.

"oh are you finally gifting me your password?" you teased, giggling.

he turned and pouted, "I told you, I would let you have an account on my profile but my mom and dad insist on having 2 different accounts instead of sharing one"

"i was just teasing baby" you laughed and slapped his butt as you walked past him.

He chuckled and jumped onto the bed, joining you and cuddling you closely, kissing your head and eating ice cream as you two ranted and went on about whatever there was to discuss for adults at almost 4am.

with no time, you found yourself able to forget about what was bothering you, even if it was just for tonight, you had him. you had taehyung. and you were so grateful.

A/N : loving tae hours.

[mrstsung]

Yo fellow mk blog. But fellow self ship blogs especially. You listen up.

I luv y'all.

And this post is for you.

Especially for you. 💖

💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚

If you love or self ship with:

Liu kang: he would definitely protect you,nothing makes him happier than seeing you smile

Kuai lang: sub zero? You Melt his heart. Hell would freeze over before he lets you ever get hurt or cry.

Hanzo Hasashi: you made him believe in 2nd chances at love. You gave him hope for a new family and motivation to protect them more.

Kung lao: (bless you for loving him fr) he would absolutely adore you,wouldn't stop talking about you. He wants to be able to give you the love you deserve.

Fujin: this god of wind. Cinnamon roll of my eyes. He would absolutely fucking love you. The wind beneath your wings. (Corny i know but its true 💖)

Raiden: bless you for loving the anxiety ridden god of thunder. Please love him! He would absolutely love you and keep you safe from all harm. 🥺🤧💖

Jax: omfg please hug him! He would love you. You help him even the darkest of times. Blessed.

Johnny cage: this himbo would totally love you! (Canon ship aside johnny cage would so totally be down for you!) He would make you laugh and smile. Cheer you up when you're down. The best friend and husband material. You would get along with cassie and even his (i assume ex since this is self ship) sonya.

Sonya Blade: on the flipside if you're with sonya. She would totally love you. Very protective and attentive,when she's not on a misson that is. You again get along with the cage fam,regardless of their situation.

If y'all ship with cassie or Jacqui: they both love you!

Kano: kano? Yes he too would love you.

Erron black: you bet your ass he does!

Shang mofo tsung: HE WOULD LOVE YOU AND EAT ANYONES SOUL WHO TRIES TO HURT YOU! (Srry im bias. I luv shang tsung. So yes,he would love you too)

Shao kahn: hell yeah he would. You see how he treats canonlly sindel(tho i have personal beef with the execution on this and despite my grievances it was wholesome in a weird way) you bet your ass he would.

Sindel: she would totally love you. Pamper you to hell n back

Mileena: plz love her. She loves you. Teeth,fangs and all. Uwu

Kitana: she would love you with all her heart

Jade: yup love ya

Kotal kahn: definitely love you.

D'vorah: bug baby loves you. And she'd let you name one of her hive children. Because shes sweet like that

Kabal: loves you. Gives you fast cute kisses as he nyoooms by.

Baraka: yes he would. Most definitely love you. He's a good husband. (He aint my thing but its sweet people give him love)

Cetrion: she loves you. She calls you her little flower or little star. Because you are. Uwu

Noob Saibot: hell yes he would.

Skarlet: loves you as much as she loves blood. A lot.

Kollector: yes. He calls you his treasure.

Geras: yup. Loves you for the rest of.... time. *gets brick thrown at me*

Sheeva: OFC SHE DO! sheeva is queeeeeeen! 💖🥺🤧🥰

Nightwolf: he loves you. And the great spirit protects both of you and blesses this beautiful union. 🥺💖🐺

Pretty much everyone loves you,could love you,would totally be down for you and definitely makes good husband/wife/spouce material. Or even platonically too. They'd make amazing friendships.

I hope this cheers you up or puts a smile on your faces. Plz don't be discouraged from loving these characters and this amazing game. This game means a lot to me and i love seeing people play it and get into gaming because of it.

But also i just want people to know that haters dont matter and you should love these characters and or self ship anyways.

-sincerely Mrs.Tsung 💚🐍

[changminurheart]

Have you thought about your moots as tbz?

hi anon! hope ure doing okay !!

sangyeon - @mavericsohn - elle

elle is always looking after me omg, always !!! they’re always checking in on me in my inbox and reminding me to take care. their energy is just unmatched, thinking of comfort? soft? homey? that’s not even a word but talking and being with giselle just feels so damn easy like i dont need to worry about what to say or to do they literally are the entire vibe and idk who could better fit sangyeon than giselle. sangyeon is giselle. giselle is sangyeon. they are one.

jacob - @tbzhub - codi

codi is the sweetest!! honestly the embodiment of jacob like the angel his is too. codi has always been the nicest to me i’m seriously in awe. codi’s taught me kindness and the way codi makes me feel makes me is the happiest and i wish i could make someone feel that indescribable warm bubbly way too and i just know codi gives the bestest hugs ever. codi and cobie scREAMING IT SOUNDS SO PERFECT but theyre literally the softest humans ever and i will protect the both of them with my entire being.

younghoon - @0429a - sam

sam isn’t active rn but she is quite possibly the greatest person to ever exist. she’s literally light- sunlight so sparkly and glittery and i need her for that dopamine. she’s just like younghoon- the vibes are immaculate. they’re both funny as hell even if its unintentional or corny (thinking of that time sam went along with my cat jokes and i smiled so damn big) she’s beautiful inside and out just like younghoon is and seeing her on the dash makes me wanna cry bc shes so kind and sincere and like younghoon she just can’t be real. she can’t.

hyunjae - @cloudykyu - mani

oh god. where do i start. the clowns. KIDDING I LOVE YOU BOTH. you’re both so silly omg, the vibes are literally everywhere. you and hyunjae would literally be a mess together in the best way, you’re the same person its so scary?? thinking of the loudness, the jokes, the passive aggressiveness and the childish energy that you both give off ive said this before but mani does give me big sister energy. shes always hyping me up and is so ready to fight at any given point (think hyunjae and eric) i love her i’m in love with her and she’s my best friend- also too much prettiness that i cry. you all should see her private story on snap oh my god she’s chaotic but chill, the most down to earth and sincerest person i’ve ever had the best fortune to know. she’s unapologetically her own person and i respect that the most about her. her passion her sticking to what she believes is right and i admire that so hard, love u girl <3

juyeon - @odxrilove - dori

dori dori dori, we’ve interacted a few times before i’m posting this and it gave me shy awkward vibes bc i just wanted to be your friend but didnt know how bc im super awkward too omg could cry but youre so sweet !!! youve always been so damn kind to me you make me want to sob rivers. the effort and time you put into everything you do, you work so damn hard that i’m so proud of you n cheering you on!! just like juyeon omg he’s always so gentle and careful and can be clumsy and you really give off that energy, you and ju both underestimate yourselves and i’m here to let you know how amazing you both are <3

kevin - @armysantiny - minmin

you’re like my twin i’m not even kidding from the moment we had the same name and the same bias list and then living in the uk too? had me screaming because youre the coolest person i know, you’re so down to earth so intuitive and openminded. kevin can be intimidating too when you first see him but once you hear him speak you just never want him to stop and thats how it feels with you love, i just want to listen to you all the time and i will, i’ll always be here to listen to you min so thank you for being brave and opening up little parts of yourself that i love entirely <3

chanhee - @choiberry - honey

OH MY GOD EVERYTHING ANOUT YOU IS JUST SO PRETTY ACTUALLY SCREAMING RN youre so funny !! and honestly being on your blog feels like a museum everything is so aesthetic and im like that kid with grabby hands touching everything wanting to like everything, just like chanhee you’re both like premium. clearly too good to be true i feel undeserving. you’re so kind to me too and i’m always in awe because i did see ur reblog of project sugar daddy btw and i havent responded to it yet just bc i sit there and stare all giggly at it instead bc me?? you?? youre friends with me?? seriously i feel like youve been eating glitter and liquid gold or smth that you and chanhee are just like beautiful. absolutely stunning. im so :o

changmin - @stealanity - matty

MY FAVOURITE PERSON ALIVE AS MY BIAS, i’m actually matty biased idk if you can tell i try and keep it lowkey 😮‍💨 ur so talented babe and i will always scream on and on about this !! changmin is honestly the love of my life that every single part of him even what he thinks of as his flaws are my favourite things and its the same, the love i have for changmin is the same love i have for you. the excitement i get coming on tumblr bc i know youre here, the way i wanna cry when we talk bc it feels again like this doesnt feel real and i dont deserve this, youre my favourite writer and you inspire me so damn much with anything you write and its so crazy bc i feel like changmins oresence is just so soothing and he has no idea who i am but somehow he just knows how im feeling and how it is and thats so you, i just feel like you already know whats going on before i do and youre there, youre always there for me. youre my comfort girl matty and fuck im crying writing this because you and changmin both mean the absolute world to me. you’re both so warm and i have never felt so safe with the both of you.

haknyeon - @moonieric - ducky

ducky is honestly so fucking cute. she sends me snaps of her day and apologies babe if i see them and dont answer sometimes i genuinely do just forget but it just warms my heart to see you having an absolute blast and surrounded by all your friends the energy really is there and its beautiful. youre just like hak in the way that seeing you happy makes me the happiest, you and hak are just both chill and content with what you have and are so damn creative like the art snaps you show me? and your presentations? im so incredibly proud of you and hak and the ability you have like your energy just screams individuality like you are your own person the way hak can differentiate himself from the group too. i just love you both so much omg and so so proud of you both !!

sunwoo - @luvrbin - jel

jel. hi heh im so shy rn omg im just going to say this straight out okay YOURE SO COOL QUITE POSSIBLY THE COOLEST PERSON I KNOW LIKE HELLO YOUR WRITING YOUR MEMES YOUR ENERGY YOUR VIBES i know weve only interacted a few times but that means youre my best friend now okay? OKAY! but yeah, youre like the duplicate of sunwoo and its so scary because youre everywhere?? i always see you on my dash and i stare longingly thinking i hope jel is happy and life is treating jel well (rhymes ha) and then i panic and stop bc like sunwoo is always staring and i feel like youre staring at me rn and im getting shy see??? this is what im trying to say sunwoo is so good at flustering everyone and i JUST FEEL LIKE YOURE TOO GOOD FOR ME TO EVEN BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS YOU IM GETTING FLUSTERED

eric - @hvae - vae

i honestly dont even know where to start. eric is special. vae is special. eric is pretty as hell. vae is pretty as hell. eric is so damn talented. vae is so damn talented. the e in eric stands for extrovert and the e in vae stands for exceptional bc somehow shes just good at everything (mf was born perfect omg) but heres the thing!! vae doesnt need to be excessively loud for her presence to speak volumes, i love speaking to vae shes one of my favourite people and one of my first friends (passed the word moots at this point) it felt like i knew her from the beginning even though i didnt? it just feels like weve always known each other she just gets me omg and literally talking to her ive never felt so safe and welcomed and relaxed in my entire life and thats just the impact of her and eric’s presence like i wanna show them both my good side only but its like they already know every version of you and appreciate you more and vae’s so sensitive and intuitive to everything around her in the sense like she understands and so does eric you know like he knows when somethings up. we dont even have to talk for ages like weve been two months and it still felt the same when we texted again. she’s the constant in my life the way eric is in deobi’s life and the way hes always thinking and looking after deobis yeah well thats me to vae, theres no one i wanna talk to more and love more and learn more about in my entire life than her <33

this was so fucking long but ty anon for asking ! i’m socially awkward and have more moots but we havent spoken in a long ass while bc i suck at being active so the above are moots that im the closest too !! love u friends !! <333

[angelthebedsheet]

my fav boys with slick black s/o pt 1?

a/n: im losing inspiration for my current requests and i’m not feeling good mentally or physically. my mood has been down the whole week and it’s messing with my school work so that’s also putting me in a sad mood. but im also in the mood for some fightin words so i’ll use my comfort boys. this may be corny but hey it works for me and this is my blog ❤️

lets get it

—————————————————————————-

Bakugo Katsuki

bro you MATCH his ENERGY so well with your clapbacks

tbh... bakugo’s clapbacks are just trash

he got the aggression but cmon now

tf is “shitty extra”

boy if you dont sit ya ass down

he LOVES your clapbacks tho

them shits be making him lose his mind

any slick shit you say he eats that UP

one time monoma was talking too much shit and you just

“nigga if you dont sit yo ass tf down fore i snatch yo forehead tf off”

safe to say bakugo busted out laughing

you were ready to post up

he lives for when you be roasting ppl under ya breath

what he doesnt like is when you roast him

bc you can and will read a bitch no hesitation

he really thought he was special....

aint shit sweet come get these roasts nigga

“boy if you dont take them damn pants off. shits look like hammer pants. cant touch this headass”

yall know how i have desiree roasting him?

that’s exactly how it be

you got a sharp ass tongue and will use it against anyone

let someone get both of yall pissed off together???

straight up verbal abuse at that point

file a complaint bc you and bakugo def made someone cry before

i think the class lwk hates you bc you helped bakugo’s clapbacks get better

which is bad for them

yall rmb those roasting vids where they go mmm after each one?

thats bakugo in the back

“big body headass”

“mm”

“dumpster truck headass”

“mm”

typa shit

he’ll hype it up too much

Todoroki Shouto

you think this man dont talk shit himself????

bro he can and will read a bitch RIGHT TO THEIR FACE TOO

he want all the SMOKE

yall together??? im sorry to whoever pissed yall off lemme plan they funeral

i imagine the way todoroki reads niggas is real sophisticated like he will point out every single insecurity you HAVE without even knowing you that well

no cursing for majority of them

“what shoes you got on?”

KAJDJSKKDKCKDDJ

yall would read bitches together but like this

“shou it’s the lifting acrylics for me”

“it’s the dusty wig for me, love”

“its the disconnecting wig for me”

“its the cakey makeup for me”

painful for them

i think he can do rapid fire roasts as soon as someone tries to start shit with you

“i know you’re not coming for my s/o. it’s the talking shoes, it’s the bootleg supreme shirt, it’s the fake chain, it’s the brittle hair”

he gets real disrespectful and wont care who it is

unless it’s your friends or family then he’ll dial it back a lil bit

if you start roasting endeavor????

my mans might be on his way to the jewelers

“try this ring on. i wanna see if it can fit you”

he finna spouse you up (spouse IS gender neutral innit?)

unrelated but todoroki is a hottie and will “ah 😜 mwah 💋” everytime and you might have a video of him losing his mind girls in the hood LMAOOOOO

Killua Zoldyck

now this boy.... cant roast for SHIT

yeah he’s a lil brat and can get mean and petty

but he cannot compare to you

this nigga’s a whole trained assassin but cant kill niggas with his words that well

🤡🤡🤡

i think the meanest thing he’s said is call you “a stupid fuckin idiot”

to which you responded with

“shut the fuck up, mushroom built ass bitch. body built like a smurf. hair lookin like hairballs cats cough up. dont get loud lil boy”

killua respectfully sat down and scratched his head

no cap that shit lwk hurt but he gonna pretend like it didnt

he dont even know what the fuck a SMURF IS

he just know that it hurt

lwk thought that was your nen

the ability to manipulate emotions into irritation or anger or some shit

like no baby they just good at roasting bitches

after a while he starts to hype you up in the back

“how you FEELLLLL”

“OOOOH BURNNNN”

“SHIT GOTTA HURT DONT IT BITCHBABY?”

eventually he learns how to roast and clapback then it’s over

the sass meter is overboard

like you might have to knock him a couple notches down

swear to god this boy uses clapbacks on leorio just to piss him off

one time leorio was telling killua to do sumn he just

“oh you must want me with the way you keep gobbling on my fuckin nuts i will do it soon relax”

you damn near BEHEADED this boy with how hard you slapped the back of his head

like it was funny but leorio wouldve JUMPED YOU

Kamado Tanjiro

OUT OF ALL OF THEM HE DOESNT WANT THAT

listen he likes to be the peacemaker

but with your clapbacks they’re enough to make zenitsu wanna post up

like you read him a lil too much

“THATS HOW YOU FEEL Y/N-CHAN? ALRIGHT”

cue tanjiro rapidly apologizing while dragging you away

the first time you roasted the absolute shit outta inosuke he had to sit down

he didnt even know what the majority of the shit you said meant

same with killua all he knew was that shit kinda hurt

tanjiro be TIRED of yall

“y/n can you PLEASE relax”

“NAH HE WANNA GET LOUD WITH ME”

“HE BREATHED”

“AND IT WAS AN AGGRESSIVE BREATH”

of course you know your limits

there’s no way you’re gonna get tanjiro to roast people

but this one time you heard him clapback by accident

“you heard me loud and clear, sir. dont act like you couldnt hear me correctly.”

like oop?

i felt a lil HEAT

aint no where near burned but for tanjiro??? good e fucking nough

dont act like he dont say some lil slick shit on the dl

this man got pent up aggression fym

tho you do be making him laugh

esp in battle if you just start reading a demon

he cant help but snicker

baby loves the way you talk and wouldnt have it any other way

if you roast him he will just go

“oh okay 🙂”

he doesnt know how to respond to that

if you roasting someone who deserves it nezuko will be your hype girl bc tanjiro’s busy trying to de-escalate the situation 💀💀💀

“and thats why yo grandma got a busted funeral”

“MMPH!”

“Y/N NO STOP THATS SO RUDE IM SO SORRY FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR THEY DONT MEAN IT”

“YES TF I DO”

“y/n shut up NO THEY DONT SORRY”

before dragging you away

jfc you’re like verbally feral

Nishinoya Yuu

your personal hypeman

will respectfully allow you to roast people

cant roast to save his life either

“you tell em!”

“yuh!”

“mhm”

“bitch”

hopping around n shit LMAOAOAOAOAO

you got that shit

someone irritating him?

“y/n.... baby.”

“alright who is it?”

“tsukishima”

“aight bet. AYE BITCH”

legend has it tsukishima is still recovering from those third degree burns

do not roast him this man will run away he values his life

“oh you must be ready to attend this barbecue”

(love that guy)

“IM VEGAN” liar

and DIPS

nigga will 100% ROLLINGGGGGG THUNDAAAAAAA tf up outta there

he can clapback and that’s the most he’ll do

he do be saying slick shit bc i hc him as someone who want all the smoke

ride or DIE

on they ass

(struggling to come up with clapbacks w/o anything to clapback to 💀💀💀)

(been cryinf over rengoku and hw my brain is mush)

“GO OFF Y/N TALK YOUR SHIT YOUR MAJESTY”

NIGGAS A CLOWN ✋🏽😭

thats all for this one folks lmao

[iamdorka]

COLSON (x Reader)

Last updated: 2020/04/25

Imagines

I Couldn’t Be More In Love ‘Colson and the reader have been friends since high school. “Friends”. Maybe they were more than that but before they never really spoke about it… and everything was okay until Colson started to act quite strange because the reader started to spend more and more time with his co-worker Harry Styles. ‘ not requested (12/08)  100+ notes

PART II (12/10)

PART III (12/12)

When we were young ‘Heyy I dont know if you’re a fan of adele but there’s this song of hers called when we were young… There’s a lyric there that goes ‘you are just like a movie just like a song’… Could you do one where they are breaking up because of obvious reasons but they’re still in love but they cannot do that anymore. Just her being sorry for what’s happening and like she says something on these lines to him. Her being tired and last goodbye type something.’ requested by  @lovemythsworld (11/24)

IMAGINE ’Basically, it’s involve Colson taking care of the reader during her period please? I just got mine today and I passed out on the floor because I got very dizzy and then I had to run to pharmacy to get more medicine and to the store as I had no food left and all while feeling really bad… ’ requested by @being-worthy​ (11/05)  200+ notes

IMAGINE ‘Make the reaction of Colson knowing that it will be dad!!’ requested    11/03)  100+ notes

IMAGINE – ’Hey girl can you do a imagine where colson is meeting your girlfriends for the first time and he is kinda nervous but they don’t know he is mgk until he walks in with y/n and they get all the tea in the “ladies room” and y/n thinks it’s funny they are so interested because to her colson is colson not mgk’ requested by @britshmgkstan (10/30) 100+ notes

IMAGINE- ’Can I request an imagine of Colson pleasuring himself. And y/n catches him. She watches in secret for a minute then sneaks in to pleasure colson. He is in shock and literally has no words. Really really really smutty pretty please!!! Love you!!!’ requested (10/20)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Can you do a GC where you and kels are together and you guys decide to play never have I ever and of course it turns sexual and it gets revealed you and kels are in the mile high club’ requested (10/13) 100+notes

Bad dreams - ’Could I ask for a ColsonxReader where there not together yet please? She’s sleeping at their place after a party, has a bad dream, one of those that make you wake up with a jolt, racing heart, it’s very hard to get back to sleep. She goes to the kitchen deciding to stay up but C sees her, asks what she’s doing up. He decides to carry her to his bedroom and just holds her close & tight telling her it was just a bad dream, he’ll protect her, & confesses to her? ’ requested by @being-worthy (10/08) 100+notes

IMAGINE - ‘Hey girl I want to request teaching Spanish to the crew.’ requested by @verywell-fandango (10/06)  100+ notes

Headcanons

IMAGINE „Could I please request a ‘Dating ______ would include:’ bullet point headcanon for Colson, Dom and Pete respectively? I love your writing; thank you 🖤” (04/11)  100+ notes

new puppies.  “How about an imagine with Colson, where his girl adopts two pups (they’re still growing and both are half husky half wolf) because they’re brothers and inseparable and couldn’t let them on their own and because she misses Colson, so she has someone to snuggle with. Colson comes back home after a few months and finds two huge dogs on his side of the bed and they’re growling at him because they think he’s a threat and wont let him get close to her?” requested by @being-worthy ❤ (03/15)

The making of the new album (02/01)  100+ notes

Mad Being mad at him (01/21)  100+ notes

Fashion week… in Paris  Going with Colson to Paris fashion week (01/16) 100+ notes

Fake texts

IMAGINE “Will you write another ColsonxReader quarantine story soon? I’m bored and don’t know what to do with myself… Stay healthy and stay indoors!!!’ requested by @being-worthy 💕 (04/05)

COLD  ‘I feel like these lyrics “You want somebody that’ll keep you warm at night Then, tell me, why you actin’ cold to me?” Would be great for an imagine’ (01/19)

Rehab  ‘Hi, can I request an imagine with Colson inspired by/based on Rehab lyrics. Thank you💜 Love your works💗’ requested by @kiss-yall (01/18)

IMAGINE ‘She said no to him so many times. But she had enough with herself and she decided to have some fun because she knows she deserves it.’ (01/11)

IMAGINE ‘Request for Colson & Y/N teasing texts cause he’s feeling excited late at night! Please & Thank you love your posts!’ requested by @xxkellsvixen19xx .(12/23)  100+ notes

why are you here ‘The one based on Colson’s new song 'WHY ARE YOU HERE’ (12/19)

IMAGINE - ‘Can I request some fluff and funny convo between reader & colson ??? Being in love 😍 making fun of each other idk not too corny’ requested (11/16)

IMAGINE ‘Kells and reader have some history together, but after he texts her one day she doesn’t want to talk to him because she knows the reason behind his texts… and she doesn’t want to get hurt again’ not requested but special thanks to  @echelonwonderland for helping me out (11/15)

IMAGINE ‘When you have time can you write one where he is working on a new movie in another state and she sees this video and she is mad because he has cut his beautiful hair?’ requested by @bakerkells (11/14)

IMAGINE - ‘hiii pumpkin, can i request a text w/ colson about him finally asking y/n to be his girlfriend after talking/dating for months? thank you in advance 💜’ requested (11/12)

IMAGINE ‘Hellooo.. I have a scenario in mind. Could you do an text imagine, where the reader has Colson watch over her puppy while she’s gone? Let’s just say he has a hard time keeping him/her out of trouble. ❤’ requested (11/09)

PART II - the new family member ‘Hi can you do an imagine based on the instagram story Colson put up recently of “well we got a dog in the family now” (I have a screenshot of it if you need it!) And something like hes away on tour and you are looking after Cassie and you two decide to get a dog while Colson is away? Thank you so much in advance xxx’ requested by @sacvf (01/07)

IMAGINE - ‘Can you do a chat imagine where they met the night before at a party an kells asks her on a proper date’ & 'Could I have a MGK request where you’ve just met at a party and exchanged numbers. Later in the night he sees you talking to another guy who is flirting with you so MGK texts you to ask you out before he loses his shot?’ requested by an Anonymous and by @thesetemporaryfeelings (11/08)

IMAGINE ’You’re a new actress and Kells slides into your DMs after watching one of your movies and invites you to his next show?! Love your blog!!!’ requested (11/02)

IMAGINE ‘Hieeya it’s me here again..So today what I had in mind is something like this..Colson and reader are like the chillest kinda friends (the ones where everyone thinks they are dating but they are not.. Cliche I know but pleasee read on) And then reader starts hanging out with a bunch of different different guys.. And colson gets like jealous. (some points it out on their group chat and colson like gets mad and then they talk on dm’s…)’ requested @lovemythsworld​ (11/02)

IMAGINE ‘How about imagine where Y/N is a single mother of a kid (6 y/o idk). Colson and Cassie just met her baby. And Colson texted Y/N how excited he was to finally meet him/her for the first time. And Y/N is kind of confused because she didn’t expect someone to love her child this much. And she tells Colson that her kid is constantly asking about him, and wants him to come back. And Colson wants to see Y/N more often and also he adores her baby. Thanks💜’ requested (11/01)

IMAGINE ‘Ooooh what about reader x MGK where he spots you in the crowd at his show, gets your number and ends up texting/ sexting you that night???’ requested    (10/22)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘can you pls make one where y/n love rock music and always get horny while listen no Marilyn Manson, and suddenly Colson tell her that we will be in his birthday party, and things get kinda hot there? tnx!’ requested (10/19)

IMAGINE ‘can we please have imagine where y/n is sick and grumpy and “doesn’t” want colson to come over and take care of her (but obviouslyyyy she does) thank you 😌’ requested (10/18)

IMAGINE ‘Can you maybe post a text where y/n sees what happened to Kells in his forehead and texts him worried?’ requested (10/18) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - I wanted to write an imagine based of some of my own bad experience with a boy (because writing this things down could help a lot even if it happened a long time ago and I don’t care about it or him anymore but it still an inspiration) then today I.D.G.A.F. by Dua Lipa started to playing on my phone today… AND IT MADE SO MUCH SENSE (it’s heavily inspired by that) hope you like this little thing too. 💜 (10/11)

IMAGINE - ‘Can you try one where colson loses his phone at a cafe he visits and then he texts his number from someone’s phone and the cute waitress who he flirted with before finds the phone and replies and they start getting to know each other and hit it off. You can totally ignore if you find it vague or stupid. I just had a thought.. ♥♥’ requested by @lovemythsworld (10/06)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘My idea is just MGK texting you trying to stop you from breaking up with him.’ requested by @thesetemporaryfeelings (10/05)

IMAGINE - ‘Yn is an actress and her new movie debuted. Colson is a friend (and totally into her) and he texts her how great she was in the movie. Their flirting is really intense and in the end she invites him over her house…(maybe for something juicy? 😏) requested (10/04) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Can we pleaseee have a text imagine where colson is the one upset and needing his girl? that man is my heart and soul and it breaks my heart to know how much he’s hurting’ requested (09/28) 200+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘I would love to request something if that’s okay! Could I request a Machine Gun Kelly text where he texts you late at night because he hates your boyfriend and thinks you deserve so much better???’ requested (09/26)

IMAGINE - ‘Can I request reader and colson being writing buddies for a new song on her girl group and them being low key flirting with each other?’ requested (09/22) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘hi angel 😍 would you be willing to do one where y/n had a really bad day and just wants to smoke with colson and forget everything? random i know but i’m such a pothead and i just wanna smoke w kells 😂🙈 don’t judge meeee’ requested (09/22)

IMAGINE- ’Can you do one where yn is pregnant. She’s at home due to morning sickness. Mgk is in the studio but checks on her like every second lol also she has weird cravings and after colson leaves the studio he has to bring her pickles and ice cream (or something). Thank you, sweetheart 😊’ requested (09/21)

IMAGINE - ‘Request for texts between Colson & Y/N after seeing an IG post if her from a photoshoot that gets him turned on! Please & thank you love your posts!’ requested by  @xxkellsvixen19xx (09/19)

IMAGINE - ‘Haha can you do this: yn has a fave panty set. She wants to wear it, but just finds the bra, not the panty. She texts mgk (her bf) and she’s sad, that she can’t find it ☹ Turns out Colson took it with him on tour, to have a piece of his gf with him 😄❤’ requested by Anonymous (09/18)

IMAGINE - ‘can you do one where colson and the reader had an argument and are both too stubborn and have too much pride to actually fix it but keep messing with each other being sassy af and all that until one of them cracks (hope any of this made sense) hahaha’ requested by Anonymous (09/17)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Could you do one where reader just wants to be hold and loved with Colson please?’ requested by Anonymous (09/14)

IMAGINE - ‘Jealous kells text? Pleeeease?’ requested by Anonymous (09/13)

IMAGINE - ‘Can I request readers being upset about being far fron Colson and posting on her Instagram and kells texts her to make her feel better?’ requested by @verywell_fandango (09/11) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Can you do a imagine where you are on tour with colson and the boys and because he isn’t paying attention to you and your in the mood you send him a nude and rook or slim almost sees it and he punishes you because only he can see you like that’ - requested by Anonymous. (09/10) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - You terribly miss Colson and finding some of his photos with Casie… you start having a really bad baby fever… 😇 but what does he think about it? (09/07) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Could u write a friends with benefits with colson similar to the one you posted about the instagram story? that’s hot af btw’ (09/06) 100+ notes

  PART II -   - ‘Can you write a follow up to the fwb/hot date one. Maybe she’s having the date now. Even though the guy is hot, he’s so boring. So while he’s in the bathroom, she texts Colson to 'save her from the date’ (like with a phone call or text) so that she can leave the date. Of course she’ll go to colson then 😏 Thank you, you’re awesome! ’ (09/08) 100+ notes

IMAGINE -  Colson is desperate to convince you to go the new IT premiere but the thing is.. you are scared af 🎈🙈’ (09/05) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - ‘Could you do a text for colson where he meets your family and you are at dinner and he texts you from next to you saying how good you look in your dress and how turned on he is and you knew it that’s why you wore the dress so you tease him and sext him and as soon as you finished dinner he punishes you for it’ (09/03, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE - ‘Colson and Y/N are best friends and they start sexting because she sent a picture to him that was supposed to be for someone else. Thanks love’ (09/03, requested by anonymus)  100+ notes

IMAGINE -  ‘Colson and Y/N working together on a shoot (music video or movie) but have to keep their hands to themselves because professionalism.’ (09/01, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE -   Colson’s new Instagram post makes you miss him even more and it’s not the only thing it makes you feel (09/01)  100+ notes

IMAGINE -  because of the bad weather you decide to stay at home but then your texting with Colson turns into something else (08/29)

IMAGINE - ‘Could I request reader x colson text where the reader keeps on flirting with him, dropping hints that she likes him and him being oblivious?’ (08/27, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE -  the one where you argue about Bucky Barnes (08/25)

IMAGINE -   you two had some history before which was a mess really and you haven’t talked like months because you were really hurt but one day you text him out of nowhere (08/25)

IMAGINE - long time no seen friends just start texting… and flirting (08/25, requested by anonymus)

IMAGINE -  Kind of a drunk texting with Colson. (08/24)

IMAGINE -  You are kind of deadly exhausted because of your work and Colson is done with that shit. (08/24, requested by @thoughtsoftheantagonist)

IMAGINE -  Colson helping you out with your outfit for your girl’s night out (08/23)  100+ notes

Fake Instagram

#quarantinetime (04/19)

IMAGINE  ‘Could we please get some MGK quarantine smut or something, please? 💜’ (04/10)

blank space (03/29)

#stayingathome (03/18)

the dork. the real. the Baker. (02/22)

#attheBahamas ‘Hey hun i wanted to ask are you gonna make a fake instagtam or a imagine based on his vacation in the bahamas? With the reader?’ requested by @kellysimagines (02/19)

Drunk night (02/15)

Valentine’s day (02/14) 100+ notes  

adventure time ‘So the Reader and Colson took a little time off and went on a vacation, just the two of them and when they returned they just could not hold themself back and posted some pictures from their trip because they wanted to show the world how happy they are and there is nothing wrong with that because they can do whatever they want to do’ 👫❤ (02/01)  100+ notes  

IMAGINE ‘Poking fun at each other on IG stories’ (01/14)  100+ notes  

ADORE YOU ’Adoring your boyfriend’s futures’ (01/12)

part II (01/23)

Love is… “…a series of IG posts based on the idea of ‘Love is… ’ (01/09) 100+ notes  

#thanksgivingatthebakersXX ‘Hiii happy thanksgiving! I love your writing, could you write about thanksgiving with Kells and the fam ❤️ ’ (01/05)  100+ notes

why are you here (the aftermath) ’Just got this idea from why are you here, but can u do one where is someone’s bday (like Pete’s or Rook’s or smth) and there’s a party ofc, and y/n is in Colson’s friends group, so she’s in the party but they always had this hate/love relationship, and they kinda fucked randomly but nobody knows, but now she’s there with somebody else and so he is, and that’s when the lyrics of the song starts to make the story you can do it imagine, instagram or sms. wtv u prefer ly’ // The backstory is the request and all of the pics were posted after that party, so it is the aftermath. An online game which only those two are playing. The song in this universe is out, just to be clear. Hope you like it this way too 😘 (01/03) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - Because there is no such a thing as enough IG love. #sorrynotsorry (12/29) 100+ notes

IMAGINE ‘Colson and Reader roasting each other in IG posts’ (12/26)  100+ notes

#christmasatthebakers 🎄🎄🎄 little Christmas present from me to YOU (12/24) 100+ notes  

IMAGINE - Some IG stories from the Reader with the perfect captions.’ not requested (12/07) 100+ notes  

IMAGINE - Reader spends lot of time with Kells in the studio… and she is making a journal of that time on IG 😍’ not requested (12/05)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Colson’s girlfriend is just not having it’ not requested (12/03) 100+ notes

IMAGINE - Y/N and Colson showing their love for each other on Instagram because why not? 💋 not requested (12/01)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Y/N showing her love for C and his friends in her special way 🙅❤ not requested (11/23)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Just a little fake IG treat for You just because 🔥 not requested (11/14)  100+ notes

IMAGINE - Y/N shows her love for Colson on IG in a very unique way 📸 just capturing the real love (10/20) 100+ notes

PART II (10/25)

IMAGINE (male reader) ‘Can please I request another Colson x male reader Instagram style imagine and/or fake text kind? Thank you.’ requested (10/09)

IMAGINE (male reader) -  ‘Could i request a reader x colson where the reader is male? im gay and there’s exactly: 0 content.’ requested by anonymous (09/14)

IMAGINE -  Colson praisin’ his girl in his Instagram posts & in her comments  (08/26)  

IMAGINE - you lowkey admitting to the world you are a couple with Colson. (08/24)

Fake social medias (mixed: IG, twitter, texts etc.)

IMAGINE ‘After that pic of Colson with baby Ash, i totally need some fooking fluffy stuff like he and y/n have a baby boy, and she out of town for some work related shit, and he’s taking care of their child, and being all goofy and cute about it’ requested by @rosesinmars (01/02)

IMAGINE - Can i request one where the reader has curly hair (like myself) and she doesn’t like it and kells really loves it// requested by @bakerkells (12/25)

IMAGINE - So basically Kells is getting way too much hate from the online trolls because of his extrem behavior like partying and being seen with different girls literally every night. And it’s not just a momentary thing, they are hating on him strong even some ‘fans’ do this too. And it’s starting to piss off his friends too, the unnecessary behaviour of his so called fans because they know him better than those people and even if they want to ignore it… they see literally everywhere those hating, shading comments, opinions which nobody asked for. So one day Y/N, Colson’s long time no seen friend from his inner circle has enough because she knows even if C doesn’t admit it… this behavior from his 'fans’ hurt him a little bit.” not requested (11/28)

PART II (11/29)

IMAGINE ‘Reader is a famous actress and friends with kells. Before she had her big break, she modeled. She posts a throwback, when she modeled for Bikini or underwear. She’s like “so awkward lol” and Kells answers with emojis and is like “Damn YN!” They flirt in the comments and later Kells DM’s her ;)’ requested (11/26)

IMAGINE ‘you and Colson are close friends and occasionally sleep with each other. We all know about his feet kink. One day after you had a manicure and pedicure, you posted your newly designed finger and toe nails on insta. Colson is like 😍👅🔥😈 And then DM’s you, to invite you over 😏’ requested (11/10)100+ notes

IMAGINE ‘Could you make this: YN and Kells are friends and she visited him on The Dirt set. Afterwards she followed everyone on insta. One day she liked and comment on a post of Daniel Webber (something flirty) and he responds, also flirty. Kells see this and DM’s yn and is jealous but won’t admit it at first. YN finds this funny and says stuff like “You flirt even more than me on insta 😂” Kells can’t deny this 😄 Thank you, you’re so sweet!!’ requested (10/28)

IMAGINE - ‘So not a long ago Colson liked this first tweet (in real life) and it caused a little problem in our community and I just felt I needed to write about it.’  (10/27)

IMAGINE ‘Reader tweeting something like “we were so much more than you let us be” “our almost still haunts me” and kells texting her’ requested (10/19)

IMAGINE ‘Y/N is an actress and one day she totally starts to fangirl about MGK on Twitter/IG and then Colson sees it.. ‘ (10/01)  100+ notes

PART II (10/03)

PART III (11/19)  100+ notes

(the main masterlist)

[rintarous]

ayo we reached another milestone today and with that i shall celebrate by doing shit like this! corny but whatever!! anyway i just wanna thank you all for reading, going through, enjoying the shit i post out on the tl! i always have a lot of laughs whenever i open this godforsaken website cs all i do is talk shit lol. i’ll put out content soon again i swear. my brain is just dehydrated and needs some writing juice lol

to my mutuals, hi <3 teehee <3 some of us don’t rlly interact much let alone talk but hi!!! i’m jan !! HAHAHAHAHHA hope some of us interact/talk more <3 just know i’m just as chaotic as atsumu on the tl <3 talk shit but i dont get hit!! 

p.s i have some lil messages for certain people under the line break hehe

— jan ♡

@dorkyama @memetabolismm @agaassi @futabtchy @gogohaikyuu @shotobabe @kenchiko @ahegaobaku @daiseukis @wakaitoshi @tiny-giant @sushij1ma @inakou @caxsthetic @yusemis @sillawara @rosiewrite @the-black-birb @haikyuu-ink @babiedeku @bambisfuneral @jojosmilktea @iwaqchan @sunbeamwrites @kozumie @t-amajiki​

to: remy,

jesus fucking christ where do i fucking begin.. it was like we were destined to be mutuals cs literally, you are my bethie. my telefatty bethie and i’m so thankful for that. my tendou bestie mad dog chan senpai. the tendou to your mad dog. idk what the fuck were we thinking when we made that stupid shit up but holy fucking shit ! talking to you just makes my day cs u’re so funny literally the funniest person i know i die of laughter just talking to u and how u just listen to the stupid shit i say and WOW umm anyways... our jokes are superior (along with julia and cheese duh) ,, yeah i lov u a lot not that i’d admit that on the tl u better savor this piece of shit HAHAHAHAHAHAH love u rems u know that (or not) muah

to: juwia,

DUDE ANOTHER PERSON I DON’T REGRET MEETING ON THE TL... those goddamn stinky haru jokes are our legacy dude... we literally met because of him............. my god..... we’ve come a long way since,,, fkbu,, our favorite,,, is getting a third episode..... i really do enjoy your company juwia even if i lowkey clown the fuck out of u (read: lava girl sunbaenim; mineta tease) but ur also literally so funny and i lov u so much and the way u introduced KS to me and our shitty radio show (vibe-rodeo-radio) YOU FUCKING RAM RANCH SHIT JESUS CHRIST u made my quarantine more bearable like omg i love u so much i literally wait for ur responses cs theyre so fucking funny and the discord thing.. iconic cockqueenies for life yo...... HAHAHHA love u juwia!!! muah 

to: ate silla,

omg ate silla hi ! we’re dont rlly talk much cs i only interact via asks but i would die for u.... ur literally my dream ate and ur so fucking funny ur such an icon i want to be like you some day.... ur posts just *muah* chefs kiss.. they also make my damn day cs wow ur so funny bae ahahahahahha AAAAA love u ate silla !!!! 

to: jojo, 

JOJO HI 🙈 this is literally so fucking surreal to me cs you were literally one of my main inspirations to start my own anime blog.. i rmb going through ur shit unsure if i should make my own anime related writings and now look at us.. mutuals 🙈 we don’t rlly talk much too cs we only interact on the tl but i would rlly like us to talk more!! u’re literally so cute and ur presence on this website is really comforting and i would order a shit ton of milktea from ur milktea shop teehee LOVE YOU JOJO! MUAH 

to: sabrina,

SAAAAAAABBBBBB MY LIFE SAVER OMFG i fucking owe my life to u for teaching me how to gif my shit 🥺 literally made my quarantine less boring and shit holy fuck... you are the sweetest person ever i wish we talked more :( timezones are a bitch aren’t they HAHAHAHAHAA thank you for taking some time off your day to teach me shit 🥺 i love you bc of that 😔 my themes wouldnt slap as hard as it does now without you so i owe you for that 😭 anyway i hope we really do talk more !! LOVE YOU SABS !!! MUAH

to: ate yuki,

ATEEEE YUKIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i also owe u my fucking life for getting me photoshop and all the other adobe shit 🥺 super duper thankful ako sayo dahil doon ate 🥺 you are super duper talented too enge naman ng talent dyan achi :< HAHAHAHAHAHAH i really admire you and your talent in art ate yukie omg.. nakakatuwa rin if i see you interacting with me and shit hehe lalo na yung mga asks HAHAHAHAHA hope we talk more soon!!! 😚 love you ate yukie!!

once again, thank you all. 🥰  to more shitty™ content soon! 🥂

[canumoveurseatup-no]

the art of intimacy

summary: nights alone with tony where there’s no evil to fight always bring the best events.

pairing: tony stark x black!reader 18+

word count: 1.8k

warnings: smut, crying during sex again bc i have a kink for it oops, crude language, body worship, slight choking, squirting, creampie

a/n: i just FUCKING love this gif of tony.

————

“Why does your painting look better than mine?,” Tony looked over at your easel, eyeing your painting and looking back to the Bob Ross video, “They look exactly the same!,”

“Yeah because you don’t listen, instead of midnight blue you used navy,”

“They’re practically the same!!,”

“But you messed up your painting because you couldn’t be patient enough to wait until I was finished using the midnight blue!,”

Tony sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes, turning the tv off despite your protests of wanting to finish your painting.

“Don’t be a baby, Tony,” you crawl over the couch to him and straddle his lap, his white button up fitting big on you, your black bra peaking out and catching his eye.

“Aren’t you glad we have the place to ourselves? Let’s not waste time painting... let’s make... a different type of art,”

You felt his hand grab and squeeze your black panty clad ass cheeks.

“I don’t think my husband would be too fond of that Mr. Stark... he’s expecting me home quite soon,”

He chuckled to himself and kissed your clevage, “I understand, Mrs. Stark... my wife would kill me if she found me in such a compromising.. position,”

He flipped you over on your back and peppered little kisses all over your body. Loving every roll, crease and stretch mark that adorned your skin.

“I guess we better get on with it then huh?,” you ran your hand through his highlight blond hair and he moaned at the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp. God he looked so good with the highlights, it gave him a certain youthful look but he still looked distinguished.

“Can’t rush intimacy, baby. So keep that pretty mouth closed unless it’s making pretty little noises for me, okay?,”

“Yes, baby,” you loved the way your husband squeezed and adored ever bit of flesh you had, whether you liked that area or not. He always made sure to let you know he fucking loves it.

“I still can not believe you’re all mine and have my last name,” kissing up you’re calves up your thigh to your pubic bone to pull your panties to the side, “Still can’t believe I get to have this pretty pussy in my face every night too,”

“You’re so crude” you felt your face get hot at his comment, he loved talking dirty and while you loved it, you felt like you couldn’t match his way with words. You felt like you couldn’t move him like he did you but boy were you wrong.

“You love it, now take those pretty breast out of that bra,” sending a single lick against your clit just to get a taste of you. You push the cups of your bra down and he bit his lip, groaning at the sight of your beautiful dark brown areolas. Like perfect chocolate morsels decorating a cake. He wrapped his lips around one and suckled on them just the way you like it.

Tony was so good at that, that you could cum just from him sucking and nibbling on your nipples.

“Tone,” You whimpered his nickname and arched your back into him, “More, baby, please,”

You felt two fingers being pushed in you and you have an unpopular opinion that the nipple sucking and fingering combo was better than his dick in you a thumb in the butt and you fucking loved that combo.

He switched nipples and fingered you faster and harder making you dig your heels in the couch. You looked down and saw him already eyeing you.

“You look so good all strung out from feeling good,”

“You’re my drug, what can I s-say?,”

You were soaking his fingered and he kissed all over your breasts before watching his fingered pump in and out of you, “You’re always such a good girl, getting all wet for me like this all the time,” going back to sucking your nipples, sucked harder, nibbled harder, finger fucked you harder, you were rolling your hips into his fingers, so close already.

“Tony dont stop!!,”

“I’m not stopping, baby. Cum for me,” his tongue flicked your hardened nipples and you saw the way they glistened from his mouth. He opened his mouth wider, sucking your whole areola into his mouth, tugging at the little hardened nubs.

“Gonna cum, gonna cum,” your breath fans his forehead and hearing your breath shutter because of him had him going harder.

“Yes yes yes! Huuuuuuuhh, fuck!,” your thighs trembled and your head rested back against the arm rest of the couch.

“You ready for me baby? Or you want me to keep going like this?,”

You wipe your forehead and sigh happily, “Ready for you, wanna feel you,”

His fingers withdrew from you with a sloppy wet pop and he hummed at the noise, sucking his fingers free of your flavor, a flavor he would never get sick of.

“Hold on tight to something, baby. I’m diving straight in and not letting up, you hear me?,”

You just give a nod and earn yourself a slap on the clit, jolting you out of your post orgasmic state, “y-yes I hear you, bab- hoooooo God,”

He sheathed himself completely deep inside of you, filling you up to the hilt, “Move, please. Wanna feel you,”

He brace himself on the arm of the chair before rolling his hips into you, eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of you clenching around him.

“Never get sick of this pussy taking me in, fuck, baby,”

You couldn’t form words, his thrusts sending tingles down to the tips of your toes.

“Harder, harder, harder!,” you begged and he obliged. Heavy panting and intoxicating skin slapping filled the room and looking up into his eyes overwhelmed every nerve in your body making tears sting your eyes, “Fuck, I love you,”

He watched the way your lips trembled and kissed them gently, he loved overwhelming you like this, you were so easy to boil over.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you grabbed his face and made sure he didn’t look away from you, “you fuck me so good, treat me so good, I love you,”

He kisses your tears away, tasting the salt on his lips, “I love you so much baby. You’re all mine, taking my dick so good, fuck baby”

He fell back and pulled you into his lap, sitting you right on his dick, “Ride me, wanna see that pretty belly jiggle with those breasts,” Tony loved the hell out of your stomach. Always made sure to show you love there knowing it was an area you didn’t think the fondest of.

You placed your hands on his chest and began moving your ass up and down, feeling a wave of confidence surge through your veins at the loud moan he sent out into the thick air

“Ride that dick baby, just like that,” his hands roamed all over your body, squeezing every and loving every roll on you, tracing every stretch mark with the pad of his thumbs. He loved every bit of you, you were more beautiful than any Bob Ross painting.

“I love you so much,” your eyes rolled in your head as more tears fell, your cries mixing in with your moans. Tony loved to see it. While anyone’s crying spouse during sex would concern them, it was a normal thing for Tony and he always made it his task to make you cry, as bad as it sounds. Tony had a love for overwhelming your heart, body and mind and you crying meant it he was doing all of that at once and it felt so good. You felt so loved and cared for, for reasons past sex. You and him hadn’t had much time to yourselves with the kids needing more attention and him being needed more st the compound.

Now it was just you and him.

“I love you more,” he placed your face in his hands and pulled you closer to him to plant a kiss on your waiting lips. He planted his feet on the white leather sofa and fucked himself up into you, smiling to himself when you broke from the kiss to nearly scream out for him.

“You’re gonna cum for me again, aren’t you?,”

One hand wrapped around your throat and he gritted his teeth as he watched you gasp and felt your walks clench around him.

“Gonna come around my dick, baby?,” he caressed your face with the other hand while squeezing your throat harder, “Answer me, baby. I know it feels good but you gotta be good and answer me,”

“Y-yeees yes yes yes,” you gasp and clenched your eyes shut, “Gonna cum, gonna cum for you. Make me cum baby, please,

And he does, makes you cum so hard you’re gushing in his lap and onto the sofa. Feeling the rush of your orgasm triggers his and he stiffens, bucking his hips into you, giving you every last drop of his seed. He loved coming in you, especially since you were on birth control now to avoid having another kid for a while. Even if it wasn’t 100%, he loved doing it anyway and you loved to feel him dripping down your thighs.

He pulls out and watches your pussy leaks his seed right back onto his dick before he pushes you back and pushes his fingers into you.

“Oh my God, Tony!!,”

You didn’t want to protest and let him know how overly sensitive you were so you just succumb to the phenomenal feeling of his fingers fucking you, despite your juices mixed with his getting all over his fingers. Tony wasn’t one to shy away from it.

“Gimme one more,”

It didn’t take long, especially with him suckling on your nipples, it never failed, that combo was heaven sent.

“Tony! Baby, fuck,” your fingers tugged at his roots and your body convulsed as wave after wave crashed down on your body. He pulled his fingers away from you, this time giving you a taste.

“So greedy and pretty, look at you getting every drop,”

God you loved the way he talked to you. He let you catch your breath while he kissed all over your belly and thighs, not even trying to initiate a rise out of you, just appreciating you.

“You’re better than any Bob Ross painting,”

“You’re so corny,” you wanted to hide away from him but he wouldn’t let you. Instead he took your hands and kissed your palms.

“But you love it,”

His eyes were so gentle as they traced every feature on your face and you couldn’t help the heat that creeped up your neck and to your face. You loved this man so much.

“You’re right... I sure do,”

———————

i’m sorry it’s short. i just needed to her more tony love out.

PLEASE REBLOG AND COMMENT!!

tags: @blackreaders-assemble @mbaku-babygirl @retroxvailles @yournonlocalpoc @dumbchick @warmchick @here-for-your-bullshit @hisxblackxqueen @valentinevirgo @valkyriesnymph @valynsia @vozit @veryhellshdia @chonisberonica @kamahriii @crawlingnightmares @xye-weirdo @spideys-wife

[naptoons]

Triggered-Joel Pimentel

warnings: Sexual Content, Cheating,Mild Language, Alcohol reference.

Theme: Angst

A/N: this is a part two of story of us , this is requested by @cncogirl18 ! i hope it’s great and it meets your request!. Read the first part here!

joel and i have been getting more and more distant for the past 2 years. sometimes i blame it all on tour, sometimes i blame it all on maybe he’s cheating. maybe hes fallen out of love with me. but to be honest i blame it all on me. i pushed him away because im not ready for the limelight. im not ready for the flashing cameras and gosspi pages. most dont even know what i look like, they just thought i was a fanpage commenting under his posts all the time. some he didnt respond to so it didnt look so obvious.it’s been on my mind all day, even my friends noticed it, urging me to go home and talk to him about it. but i cant. maybe  cant because im afraid of the answer.

 leaning back in my chair picking at the peeling skin on my thumbs. debating going to joel’s apartment or heading to the party richard invited me to for his daughter. i might as well go home first, maybe get a nap. getting up from the chair, i grab my keys to his aprtment, heading for the door.

arriving at his apartment i walk in the house,hearing the noise of heavy breathing and muffled moans. the grunts that only i would know. but apprantly im not the only one whom knows it. biting the bullet of crying, i walk towards the living room dropping the keys in the bowl. after today i dont think i wanna come back. walking past the room to the bathroom i hear the voice of someone farmilar.

“i told you, you never loved her, you’d come back to me papi” emlila swoons him in, joel sighs with his feet shuffling against the carpet “why cant you admit it?!” she yells at him “she is nobody anyways why do you care so much?” feeling anger in my broken heart i swing the door open, gritting my teeth against my jawline, the atomsphere turning colder than stone.

“yeah joel, im fucking nobody” i choke through my clogged airways

“baby-” cutting him off i smack his hand away from my frame, i grab my back packing all of things “bre listen it didnt mean anything!” his voice breaking and pleading to get my attention, joel grabs my arm but i push him back making him hit the edge of the dresser groaning in immersed pain. but i feel no remorse.

“if it meant nothing why the fuck did you do it?!” i yell through the tears, i tried to be strong. to not cry in front of him. he didnt deserve my tears, he didnt deserve anything from me at this moment. “get the fuck away from me joel, i never want to see your fucking face ever again” grabbing my packed bag i place it on my shoulders before stepping out the room, i look back at emailia to see her smiling.

“you think you have everything right now, but if he did this to me, what makes you think he wont do it to you?” i pour my venom on her, her smile slowly falling flat and changing into anger “misery loves company, i hope you guys are miserable together karma is a bitch” with my words i feel my shoulders become lighter, running downstairs i hear joel yelling my name behind me, getting to the front door i slam it behind me getting in my car.

“what a fucking fool i am” i breathe out “thinking we could ever be something, neither of us was ready” i grab my phone calling lunay as i back out of his driveway, the tears begin to roll down my cheeks clouding my vision all i can see if dots of red and white lights.

“hola mami” lunay’s voice hones in on my ears. insatly my voice cracks trying to keep it together, i just break down and cry gripping the steering wheel as my knuckles drain the blood from them. “hey bre are you okay? where are you?”

wiping my face i inhale heavily “joel cheated on me” i let out “can i come over?” i ask, before hearing the answer all that fills my ears is the skid of tires on the road, and the reverb of a collision. The vision I once had colored like a void.

Pitch dark.

Opening my eyes to the angelic light, I groan as it burns my cornea, covering them with my fingers I sigh heavily. “Welp I guess that’s a sign to use night mode” I let out, slowly regaining my eyesight looking over at a puzzled wreck of a cousin. Smiling slightly I reach for his hand “hey, what’s got you so tangled up Charlotte?”

“You’ve been unconscious for three weeks, that’s what, and get a better joke that was corny” Christopher smiled slightly at the end, but I could tell that smile was fake. “And I’m wondering should I kill someone” his voice taking the form of malice.

“If you were to do that you couldn’t see your precious cousin” I smile followed by his scoff “wouldn’t say precious” he insults me. Lunay walls into the room sighing of relief “wow, did y’all really think I was going to die?” I laugh “y’all had no hope for me huh? What a sha...” getting my sentence cut off by his hug around my neck, I smile softly my fingers rubbing his back. “Hey you” I let out. He must’ve been so worried.

Lunay has been taking care of me for a whole month. I had to go to recovery, I lost a little bit of feeling in my legs so I started walking little by little, they also recalled my brain is a little fuzzy prior three minutes before the crash. Sadly it didn’t make me forget I got Joel cheating on me. With the girl who tried to break us up even before a label. I guess she got what she wanted. I haven’t seen or heard from Joel since that day. Part of me wants to reach out. But another part says “fuck him he pushed you away” tapping on the bow empty cereal bowl I hear the chunks of shoes hitting the floor.

“Aye mami, you okay?” Lunay rubs my shoulders, moaning at the tension in my body I nod my head slightly “are you sure? I’m here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on”

“Hm no I’m tired of crying, I’m moving on now”

“Aye nena! That’s right, you can do better” he encourages me. Lunay was throwing a party at his house tonight for a celebration on winning an award. I joined in even though Lunay told me I didn’t have to I just couldn’t be soaking in my sadness. It’s not going to fix anything so what’s the point of moping? Grabbing the drink on the counter I gulp it in one shot feeling it burn down my throat rapidly. Every cnco member was here but Joel. Made me wonder is he trying to avoid me? Why should he? He cheated on me he shouldn’t have any shame he knew what he got himself into. He shouldn’t have any shame it’s what he wanted anyways.

Drinking down another shot Richard furrows his eyes at me smiling I wave at him “what’s up Richard? You scared to drink?” I ask him

“Scared of you drinking, I don’t think you’re in the right headspace to be drinking nena” his lips fall in a flat line leaning against the counter, grabbing the bottle of liquor I grab my red solo cup this time.

“I think I’m just fine, I can’t sit around here and fucking waste my time in being sad, it’s been a whole month Richard, im fine” I crack open the cranberry juice to fuse with the liquor. “So stop worrying about me okay?”

“I’m worried about the both of y’all, hoping neither of you collapse first” Richard mumbles while walking away, I wanna ask him what that was about but I’m stopped by Lunay. With the biggest smile on his face.

“Hey? You good having fun?”

“Never better! Let’s dance” grabbing his hand with my left I sip with my right, everyone was bumping and grinding on their designated partner. Everyone here was having a great time. No one had a mask on themselves. Drinking, smoking falling in love in his backyard. Five cups down and the world was spinning. Taking off shoes and dancing on tables. I was dancing it away.

The pain away. Fuck it still hurt.

But there’s always three sides to a story.

His. Mine. And the side neither of us talked about.

Giggling on the couch I lay my head on christopers shoulder “hey cousin how are you?” I slur followed by a hiccup “I haven’t seen you since the hospital what are you up to these days?” My face felt hot and was probably showing hues of red. Maybe even pink.

“Babysitting two broken people is what” Christopher groans, he was rarely serious so this caught me off guard. Being to drunk to even ask I hug him.

“Aye, there’s no use in worrying, you gotta have a hurricane before the rainbow, I’ll be okay I promise”

“I hope so, we don’t want any more collateral damage” he hums in my ear.

The party was over and I watched as the few people that stayed over, Lunay was cleaning up trash until he saw me laying in the couch. “Mami, go to bed, or would you like me to drive you home?”

“Id rather not be alone” I mumble, almost throaty, suppressing the cries I want to let out. I can’t I’m done crying. I’ve been doing it for a whole month.

“Hey” he bends down to my level, running the pads of his thumb on my cheek “you’re never alone I promise” his eyes twinkled in love, I’m feeling the same way I did towards Joel. How can this be true? Have I moved on that quick?

Richard went back to Joel’s apartment, just as he was about to knock on the door, emailia opens it, her face showing signs of panic. “Wheres joel?” She asks

“And you think I would tell you? Plus that’s why I’m here to see was he here” Richard smugly answers

“So wait, hes not with you?” emailia asks

“Nope” Richard grabs his phone dialing his number, but to his demise it goes straight to the voicemail. Richard mumbling a soft curse word under his breath. “His phone is off”

“Oh my god fuck” she paces while chewing on her thumb, Richard looks at her with no sympathy but he just knew his mind had to ask.

“So what lie did you tell him hm?” emailia turns around on her heels looking back at him dumbfounded

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me I didn’t stutter, Joel is completely and utterly in love with bre, what did you say?!” Richard snaps are her, feeling Christopher pull him back slightly, “rich calm down”

“I didn’t tell him anything! He told me he felt bre was fading from him, and the more he tried the more she pulled, all I said was maybe she found someone else”

“Then took his sadness as your advantage to comfort him” Richard spits, walking away slowly

“You know damn well I love him!”

“If you did he wouldn’t be in this situation” Richard mumbles before getting in the car. “So? How are we going to find Joel?”

“We can’t, he’s been so secretive lately. Who knows where he is, the only thing I can think of is just wait for band practice or for him to come home” Richard sighs heavily “this is a fucking hurricane”

The bright sun beams on my eyelashes, squirming I feel a arm wrapped around my waist and the feeling of a chin in my shoulder. Slowly lifting the covers I gaze upon our naked bodies entwined together. Sighing and softly cursing to myself I sink my head deeper in the pillow.

Lunay and I hooked up.

Drunk hookup.

Slowly getting up from the bed I grab my clothes putting them on one by one. Until a hear a husky groan “good morning” he mumbles, my luck. Smiling I make it back to the bed sitting in front of him.

“Good morning” I whisper back

“How you feeling?” He asks

Embrassed.regretful.sad.

“Good, I had a good sleep”

“I imagine so” he jokes, getting up from the bed slowly “look bre, I don’t wanna be your rebound, I know this is the worst timing but, I’ve had a crush on you for the longest, and seeing how broken you are hurts me” freezing at his sudden words I looking down at the my tangled up fingers, “I want you to find what you mean to yourself, I want you to fix yourself, even if that means talking to him again”

“Lunay, I can’t even look him in the eyes and not want to cry”

“So? Isn’t better than wondering and drinking alcohol, not to mention losing your mind not knowing what to do” Lunay grabs my hand kissing my knuckles softly “bre, you deserve love okay? Don’t think that there won’t be someone out there for you”

Nodding my head I decided to face him head on. To talk about the problems I’ve never discussed.

Arriving at Joel’s apartment my stomach drops in depths. Never thought I’d come back here. Having ptsd just by looking at the snowflake walls, the way his plants on his patio are slowly decaying. He really isn’t doing to well just like me. Why is this so hard on him? I’m the one that should be triggered.

Knocking on the door I wait for his answer, the door swings open, smelling like a strand of weed. “Richard I told you-” his sentence is cut off by the sight of my eyes glued in his. “What are you doing here?”

“To talk” I answer

“What is there to talk about, I made you look stupid” Joel sighs

“yeah you’re fucking right you made me look like a fool, but I can’t blame you, maybe I pushed you towards that resort, not saying what you did was okay, but maybe the way I treated you inflicted this” I sigh leaning against the wall “can I come in?”

Joel opens the door for me to come in, closing the door behind me I see the mess his living room is in, I see the empty beer bottles and burned out half blunts. The edibles wrappers over the floor. Looking back at joel I see his hand is wrapped in a gauze. What has he been going through? I grab a bag as I start picking up his trash, “no it’s okay I’ll clean it up” Joel suggests but I grab his hand leading him to the couch.

“Let me help you, let someone help you okay? We gotta stop shoving people out” I stammer through my tears. Finish with cleaning up the mess, Joel and I sit on opposite sides of the couch.

“I’ve had two boyfriends in my lifetime, and when it got past two years, shit just started going downhill, one was abusive and one was a pathological liar and a drug addict” I start off, Joel’s eye filling to the brim with water, with just one touch they would pour down his lips. “It’s tiring opening and closing parts of me just to repeat the cycle, and when you cheated on me, I just saw you as the rest, I yelled at you and blamed you, I claimed you ruined everything, I wanted to fight you guys both, knowing she’d probably sue me or charged me with battery”

“In that heat of the moment I was willing to catch a case for it, cause you know me, when I get mad I get big mad, weeks after my accident I was going to call you, maybe even text you but I couldn’t, when I typed on the bubble I Tried my hardest not to disrespect you After what you did, man, what you expected?” My eyes looking at the tearful golden boy, his cheeks and nose were pink, so was his ears, glistening cheeks swelling up at the minute.

“I felt so Triggered, when I hear your name but also I was Triggered, because I am not okay, I was getting drunk partying hooking up with people all because I still missed you, Of our memories All you meant to meAll that history All that's history” my fingers trembling to grab his hand, caressing my thumb over his.

“But ain't no me and you without you in it, so I just wanna say I’m sorry, I pushed you away and made you feel like I didn’t love you, because I now know I do, I really do love you joel” the tears now falling out of his eyes, mirroring mine in the same gesture.

“I’m sorry too, I should’ve never talked to her about our problems, I should’ve came to you, but it isn’t your fault, I was the one who decided to have sex with her in our bed, no matter what I should’ve came and talked to you” Gravelly his voice echos the room, pulling him towards me, I wrap my arms around his head, letting him sob into my hoodie. As I begin to cry along with him.

“We’re both you blame, all we needed was to communicate” my wobbly voice whispers on his ear. “I accept your apology Joel, just promise we won’t run away from each other” feeling his body stop shuttering his head pulls out hovering over me.

“Yeah, I won’t run unless you promise to not run, and let’s better ourselves” Joel sniffs

“I’m not going anywhere, maybe someday we’d could be something more than friends again, you have my heart joel. We just need to fix ourselves before becoming one, but I don’t mind taking it slow with you”

“No labels? Just chilling?”

“Yeah” I smile caressing his face “slow burns”

“Slow burns”

[feeeellllliiiiinnnnnggggsssss]

10/11/18

long text post ahead

just a warning

so i got off the train and i see this girl i used to be friends with and she says “its my birthday today” and i was like awww yeah happy bday girl and thats that then i go to school class whatever im in the library studying for my physics exam and he is sitting at the table next to me but i pretend i dont see him so im studying for a while then my sis comes to the library and then i forgot exactly what happened but i know he was looking at me from time to time and then we finally looked at each other at the same time and i waved and smiled and he yelled across the table “hey whats up” and i was just like i have a test today im studying i want to die and then he was talking to this girl a that im jealous of bc shes smart and pretty and with him sometimes and theyre friends and then he said something again but i didnt hear and then i went back to my work then he moved tables my sis left and i went to a and ch and studied there then i wanted water i left my water bottle at the old table i went and got it and then i was like hmm let me go to my mans

so i go up to my mans and i tell him hey whats up im so sad rn u know ur name means joy in our language so im here bc im sad and he was like haha yeah aw and i was just like ranting to him telling him about my day and why i couldnt study for physics until the last minute and i was like do u have time for my story and he was like yeah so i told my story and he listened to me and he was wearing his glasses aw and i was like im so overwhelemed im gonna cry so dont mind me and he was like oh no dont cry and i was dead about to start crying and he waslike oh my sister cries like this too lmao aw and then water fountain boy came and something printed out weirdly and i was like whered you print it and he was like that someone messed w his papers whatever i was complaining about physics and he was like oh which physics are u taking i told him and he was helping me a lil then the other (3rd guy) was like oh let me see your notebook so i went and got it and he was trying to help me but couldnt bc my prof doesnt give practice problems and then water fountain boy took my notebook and was like what dont u get and i was like centripetal force and he was like i took physics last year so i may not remember everything... he dead knew everything, explained so many things to me and je was just being so amazing i literally learned so much in 10 mins w him than in like 10 lectures w my prof smhh wow and yeah hes so smart and cute and helped me i wanna thank him the next time i see him bc the concepts he helped me w were on the exam and i knew how to do those questions bc of him and he was also telling me not to be friends w this girl bc everyone apparently hates her and the way he said it was so protective he was like how long have you known her people dont like her for more than 2 weeks shes not a good person he implied shes dumb and i asked him wait so shes dumb and he was like yeah and i was like wow yeah she gave me bad vibes like i dont like her shes an aries and everyone laughed lmaoo and they were like no for real shes like bad vibes or whatever and he was like i know you don’t know me well but take my word for it and honestly hes adorable 

so back to my mans hes so cute and was making corny jokes and i made sure i acknowledged that i heard them and i either laughed, commented, or looked at him so i hope he gets the hint... and he saw my shirt and was like oh you go to (this place) and i was like yeah loll and water fountain boy was like oh i went there this summer too awww cute and then he went back to work

 yeah these guys really helped me out today

[ask-svt-hearteu]

college! Jun

Anon requested: “hullo!!! can i request a college!au for jun? (in the point form and stuff) thank you && i love your aus and posts in general <3”

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 2541

A/N: I legit thought this AU would be easy to write. Turns out, writing someone as a college student when you're not a college student is hard af. I apologize in advance if this was written poorly and didn't reach your expectations lolol -admin soph

double majoring in Performing Arts 

particularly in Dance Focus just like Minghao 

and a Theatre Arts Major in Acting 

has a scholarship so double majoring made it possible for him

having double majors made him really busy all the time 

but he still manages to have time for his friends 

whenever he has free time,

can always be seen in the picnic area of the Campus with his other major friends 

or usually with Minghao, Joshua, and Wonwoo reading in the corner of the university library 

talking about how the author should’ve just done this or that 

when they really should be reading up for the upcoming semester exam

"I dont understand why we need to learn about the history of tap dancing for a whole week." 

"Because the professor likes to give us busy work get over it." 

"Honestly just slap stuff on a paper and he’ll give you an A" 

"Shouldn’t you guys be studying on your upcoming Music Theory test." 

"Shush Joshua." 

or in the studio going through the choreo he, Minghao, Hoshi and Chan made for a performance project and the upcoming winter recital 

or just staying in his dorm, catching up on sleep 

when a show is announced to happen 

he works double 

like seriously

the shows are where theyre able to showcase their talents and what they major in 

so performance majors and theatre majors are made to perform on the same day 

and it stresses him out a lot but he always make sure to do his best 

he has to make and memorize like 2 choreographies with his dance team for the dance performance and has to memorize his lines and get into his character for his acting performance 

even with all these work he would still try to try other things 

like singing and rapping ∙

he can sing pretty well to be in fact but just like Minghao, people wont give him vocal lines for shows smh

outside his major classes, he only chose to take one minor course and that was Linguistics in Korean Language 

thats the only course you both have together actually 

youre an Astronomy Major 

and the only courses you take outside of your major is Linguistics and History 

you have been in Korea for some time now but you still haven’t mastered the language so you thought the Linguistics course might help

you and Jun dont talk much though 

the only time you two were able to talk was when the professor partnered the two of you together and made you guys differentiate different satoori accents 

and that one time you bumped into him on your way to the library 

you also always see him in the picnic area with his friends when you wander around different departments 

sometimes you would sit either on a bench or under a tree, reading a book and you would hear music coming out of a speaker near you 

and you'll see Jun with his dance team practising 

you also noticed how different he is when he is with his friends 

in class, he is this quiet reserved guy sitting at the back, listening to the professor while spinning a pen around his fingers 

with his friends, he is really outgoing and a huge dork 

you would hear him exchanging jokes with Wonwoo and you would quietly laugh at how corny it is 

"What did the dog say to the wall?" 

"Jun stop it's now funny an-." 

"Wolwol" woof woof" in korean

"Aish. Why am I even friends with you?" wonwoo mutters as he quietly think of a better joke

you also would hear him messing around with Joshua 

"Im still offended that you didnt want to go biking with me again after what happened last semester." 

"Hyung. When we got back I honestly thought I was going to pass out right there and then. And you kept leaving me behind." 

"Because you kept taking selcas whenever we took a break, istg Junhui."

and you would hear him talking about a dance he found on youtube with Hoshi 

"They werent hitting the beats on time." 

"Yes but they were expressing the lyrics with their dance." 

"But hitting the beats with the dance moves would look better. And with the dance moves they’re doing, its possible." 

and mostly him just annoying Minghao 

"Jun I swear, stop."

"Were getting all thug now are we?"

"wE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK ABOUT THAT." 

okay so you were just sitting alone in the University Library, studying for your upcoming test about Astronomy History 

when someone just sat down infront of you 

causing you to slightly jump back from your seat 

"Oh jesus christ jisoos chirst Jun, you scared me." 

"Sorry, my friends wont let me study in peace and all of the tables are taken and you’re the only one I know. I was just wondering if I could study here instead?" he softly smiles at you hopefully

your internally squealing at how adorable he looked with that smile with his messy hair and black hoodie and sweatpants asdfdksla

"Yeah of course, no problem." 

"Thank you." 

and with that, he brought out his books and you both were studying quietly

you can see him looking at you every once and a while 

it made you anxious tbh 

because you thought you had something on your face 

a few minutes later he just put down his book and spoke 

"We don’t talk that much, what major are you?" 

"Im an astronomy major" you replied as you close your book 

"You study space. Wow. Well, I double major in Performance Arts and Theatre arts. " 

you nod, "yeah I see you in shows and recitals. " 

"Oh so you watch me," he smirked, teasing you

you try not to let the blush creeping up show, but before you can reply,

"Im just kidding~ " he chuckles, smiling at you 

"just study" you huff, jokingly being annoyed, that pink flush on your cheeks

 you wont deny that Jun is pretty handsome

and pretty dAMN HOT

and you were pretty sure that you were just attracted to his face since you still dont know him that well 

so you were confused as hell as to why you were blushing and your heart was beating so fast

minutes passed and you still were thinking about why you and your face reacted like that

you didnt even notice Jun looking at through the top of his book

and glancing up, you looked right back at him 

both of your gazes meeting 

you wanting to look away but his eyes, they sparkled like the shining stars you see through a telescope

it looked like a whole different galaxy 

you were able to regain your self-control and you averted your gaze back to what you were reading 

so you didn’t see him stare at you longer for a moment, dazed by your eyes

tired of studying, you have just been rereading the same paragraph over and over again 

you just wanted to go to the student cafe and get a mocha latte 

somehow, Jun read your mind 

"You have been staring at that page for forever, you wanna take a break and go the cafe?" 

"Did you just read my mind Wen Junhui?" you chuckle

"What if I did y/l/n y/f/n?" 

"Then you should already know my answer" you wink playfully

he just grins at your response 

on the way out, you guys passed by Junhui's table of friends 

one of them was a girl 

so you figured that it might be one of his friends girlfriends 

"Me and y/n are going to the student cafe, if you need me, I'm there," Jun said to them before waving goodbye 

the whole 10 minutes walk to the cafe was filled with a lot of talking 

Jun told you about how he met his friend Minghao 

how he literally spat on his face on their first meeting because of his braces 

you told him why you decided to move to Korea 

why you decided to take Astronomy 

arriving at the cafe, you both ordered your lattes and sat at a booth near the window

as you both were talking, the conversation got kind of serious

Jun told you about why he chose two majors 

because he didnt want to limit himself to only one

and that he also found his passion for dancing growing through the majors he took 

the two of you talked about how its hard to be away from your loved ones 

mostly about yourselves was the main topic 

after hours that seemed like minutes of talking, 

you both exchanged numbers and went back to your dorms 

you both started hanging out a lot after that 

he memorized your schedule, you memorized his 

knowing when the other was free, the two of you also had this cycle 

he would visit you in your department, get a latte, and walk to the library 

sometimes you would be the one who would visit him 

but the cycle goes on 

you learned a lot about him 

you learned that he is basically this tall cat person who is a big dork on the inside 

he would text you lame ass jokes at 3am 

he would even call you at 3am just to remind you that he is handsome

which is true, but he didnt have to wake you up at 3am to remind you that

and the more the two of you hung out, the more your feelings for him deepens 

he is just this precious dork that you want to protect 

today was Jun's free time 

before you could text him and ask if he wanted to hang out, 

he beat you to it 

‘A little birdy told be were both free. Do you want to stop by at the studio and hang out with us? :>’ 

‘Sure Hui. Are they okay with me being there?’ 

‘Of course, dont worry about it." 

"Okay see you in a bit." 

you decided to buy lattes for everyone before going to the studio 

they’ll be tired from practising so you really didnt mind buying 5 lattes 

when you got there, they were sitting in the middle of the room, sweating and panting 

you greet them and hand them their lattes

"Thank you y/n~ Jun your girlfriend is the best." Hoshi giggles, making you stutter

 "I-I’m not his girlfriend,” you say half chuckling

"Yet." he whispers, you not hearing

you have only hung out with his friends a few times 

but they already made you feel like you were part of the group, talking with them for hours 

they even let you watch the recent dance they made for a project

and ofcourse, they kept teasing you and Jun

"Jun how dare you let your girlfriend walk around campus alone." 

he glances at you, with a look you can’t decipher

"She isn’t my girlfriend."

after a while, you decided it was time to go back to your dorm 

you said your goodbyes to them before going 

"You like her. Be honest." Minghao says as he nudges Jun 

"Maybe I do, she doesn’t feel the same." Jun sighs

"Theres only one way to find out." Hoshi points out, grinning 

"Ask her out." Chan says as he pats Jun on the back 

"I will." Jun smiles at them, trying his best to be confident 

okay so your request of using the observatory room has been accepted

today was your free time, so what better way to spend it other than stargazing 

you invited Jun but he still hasn’t responded 

so you went there on your own 

you honestly liked being alone with the stars 

it made you feel at home 

after staying there for a while Jun texted you saying that he’ll be there in a few minutes 

when he came, you were laying down on the floor and just looking up in the sky 

so he just lays down next to you 

it stayed like that for a few minutes 

"Did you know that we’re basically made from stardust? Its amazing to think that those beautiful stars are made from the same thing." you say, breaking the silence 

"Is that really true?" he asks, turning to you 

"I like to believe that its true” you say softly, continuing to stare

"It probably is. Because ever since we talked, you have been my brightest star in my darkest days." he said in a whisper like manner,

but you still heard it 

you didnt say anything else 

your heart was beating rapidly at this point 

you were honestly biting the inside of your cheek just in case you were dreaming 

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING 

you were basically freaking out inside 

"What?" you ask nervously

"....I was just wondering...if you want to go have dinner with me sometime?" he asks shyly 

"Like a date?" you say, turning to stare at him

"Doesnt have to be! Lets just pretend I didnt say that" he says quickly 

"Oh, too bad. I was gonna say yes." you reply, teasing him

"....really?" his eyes brightening

“Yes Hui." 

with you still laying on the floor, he sits up, grabbing your hands

staring down at you

"Then I take it back,” he smiles happily, “Will you go have dinner with me sometime?"

"I would love to Junhui." you reply, smiling back

and so he lays back down, closer to you this time

your shoe grazing his leg

his hand gently looping your fingers in his

when Junhui told his friends that the two of you were dating, 

almost in unison, "WE KNEW IT!!" 

after a while, it started spreading across Junhui's department and yours 

you honestly didnt know it would be this big of a deal 

Jun would always visit you 

AND I MEAN ALWAYS 

even on days where he is really busy, he would still visit you 

you find it really sweet 

and loving that smile that would light up on his face, 

you would also visit him at his studio 

the boys have taken you in as one of them 

it feels like you’re a part of this big family 

and Jun being cheesy, for the first and last Saturday of every month,

he would reserve the observatory and you two will spend your free time there 

he would put a blanket on the floor and bring food 

and you two would stargaze, eat and talk for hours

or Jun saying pick up lines for hours

"I must be the Sun and you must be Earth, cause the closer we get, the hotter you become." he says winking 

"Jun...why." you say, covering your face in slight embarrassment

"No~ dont cover your face. I want to see the way stars shine in your eyes." he replies cheekily

"Jun one more I swear. Where do you even get all of these?” 

you say questioning why you fell for this huge dork

as you blush really hard

“from my love for you”

Jun honestly loves making you blush 

looking at you, awed by your rosy cheeks

pulling you in close and wrapping his arms around you 

he kisses your head 

“My love for you is like the universe. Incredibly big and expanding vastly everyday."

MASTERLIST

[ohdannyboyarts]

Stop blowing up the world with my post? Why? How people listen to an everyday guy anyways? Who cares? Social media is a place where anyone can express themselves. Tell a story. Share themselves. Vent.

I have something inside me that burns, all the time. It sounds corny I know, but there it is. Call it passion, or selfishness, or longing or loneliness or any of the labels put on feelings; Manipulation. Toxic. Co-dependent. OR; Perfect. A dream come true. My other half. Why is it always the two extremes? There is never a middle anymore. No one talks about the struggle, the needing space, the patience. What happened to two people building something to last. Its either a perfect relationship, with perfect expectations of the other person, or nothing at all. Because we are better than that right? We deserve the very best...right? But two people can only become the best for each other with time. And patience. And compromise.

Because that is what a relationship needs. Compromise. Communication. Unshakable love. And yeah, space. (Which was, and still sometimes is, the hardest one for me. But hey, I acknowledge and am working lol).

Even though I strive to be a better man, in all ways, I stumble too. I'm not perfect. And if that is what anyone expects of me then I am sure to disappoint. But damnit I love hard. And I dont quit. And I feel things too. I am not always a rock and I do fall down. We all do. Its part of the process. Is how we learn. But should we break? Do I deserve to lose the only people I love more than myself? Because I am a selfish human being who craves love and affection too. And I have a story that is unique to myself as well. And really, if every person I have loved, from childhood till now, has left me, ghosted. Snap. Gone. No real answers. It's hard to cope with. And becomes harder as I get older...almost makes less sense the more a d more I think.... Ive struggled with sobriety and relationships and smoking and self destruction and holy fuck, if I could take all the adults that created me and put them in a room and...just yeah. So yeah, I'm screaming and yelling the only fucking way I can.

I feel foolish. As if I sold my own self a dream. And I ate it up. And she let me. Let me worship her. Adore her. Eat her in. Breathe her. Knowing each of my mental and emotional issues, sometimes figuring it out herself with those stunning brains. Watching and giving advice as I worked through therapy. Reassuring me. Inspiring me. Giving me exactly the thing to keep me coming back like the addict I was, affection. And love. A place where I belonged. Where healing was real and possible. And just like the human I am, I didnt look at EVERYTHING she did. Only the things I wanted to see. Or chose to see. At that time. Almost subconsciously. She needed space, and I craved the high of being with her. And I didnt understand how in order to show me the incredible love she showed, she needed to alone for a little while to process and relax and accomplish the things in life she wants, the things she so selflessly sacrificed to give me her time and her love. And like a damn fool I connected it all with the past and in swarmed my issues with abandonment and my parents and all my other shit. I was so selfish. And shitty. And did not at all have a grip on the reality of it all.

What sucks is I think that everyone learns this kind of lesson. Somewhere along the way. I missed out on life. Ive spent more time in prison in the last 10 years that I have free. Almostt my entire 20s. So I'm a little behind on the struggle to understand how relationships with normal people work. But I'm trying to get there. If everyone, especially those I love and that love me, continue to give up on me then how the fuck am I gonna learn? I'm thirty fucking years old already. Ive missed so much life. So much of my kids' lives. I'm trying to find my place in the world. And be happy with myself, instead of the anger and self hate that I was brought up on. I'm just trying to do right, and mistakes are not intentional. Especially when rooted in childhood issues. Anyways, I dunno. At this point I'm all vented out.

Just...dont give up on me. I haven't. And I have so much love to give you. And a filthy mind to play with. And I'm so fucking yours.

[princess-of-embarrassment]

Some 3 am realizations about life, relationships and maybe more?? idk whatever have fun.

Ok before i start on this shit I am going to say it is 3 am and i am just dumping some thoughts like i usually do. Sorry for the shit grammar, disorganized thoughts and all that jazz... In a sense i feel like this is a letter to myself and what i have been trying so damn hard to understand so yeah i am talking to myself and to this website. I think. Idk. i will probably delete this in the morning when i am back on bad bitch mode and go back to posting memes pero por ahora vamos a ver como nos va. Mayb ei will leave it up bc i forget or because i dont care who sees it. sorry for the shitshow of a post you are about to read but you probably already kinda know me so yay! I debated posting this shit because the internet is a wildin place but oh well!!1!!11

ok tumblr it is 3 in the morning and i have 100% regressed into being a 15 years old on this damn website shitposting and reblogging some corny ass posts but it feels right, so here i am attempting to process it through the only form i know how to actually know how to cope with things. I mean memes are cool and all but lets be real, they don’t address the problems. this is the one place i can brain dump all of my thoughts and not really care about where they go because they will eventually disappear in the tumblr algorithm.

My old blog was often the only separation I had between my reality and the life i really wished i had, but now I have that life that I always wanted so why the hell am i back at square one? To be fair, the life that i have right now may not be envied by many but its a pretty darn good life to me. Im safe 99.9% of the time. The other .1% is a story for another day. I have been trying to figure out for months as to why i’m back to being so active on here and now that it’s 3:00am I realize it’s because of self isolation (thanks corona!). 

Let me start off by saying this; my reality is not something I am going to be able to escape. Ever. It has brought me to where i am today, allowed me to meet some really incredible people and i am so so grateful. I have learned so much in the past few years. i am grateful what happened happened. Wild, i know. I escaped it physically but i cannot escape it mentally, at least for now. School, work, writing, dealing with my freshmen’s problems was what kept my brain occupied and away from having to face the part of my life that I really just want to forget. To be fait my trauma response has taken pretty good care of fucking up my memory and all of those fun things but ironically the things i want to forget about so badly are the things i think about every single day without skipping a beat. brains are weird like that.

I am ok now but sometimes i forget and fall back into my new reality. That is ok. People that know my story ask me why i don’t write about it on a public platform because it’s inspiring?? or hopeful?? or whatever cliche people want to use when addressing a topic that makes them uncomfortable and they want to feel better about the life they live. 21 year old latina girl faces adversity and lives the american dream (barely)..i mean, i did run a whole ass magazine and wrote a piece for graduation including some details of my story but that was like the rated g version with only the little sad parts that people are able to handle without feeling like their comfort zone is being violated. MEdia is a wonderful place isnt it???  so i get where they are coming from, but what they dont understand is that an international platform is not where i can share any of these thoughts... Listen, I know this is cryptic and confusing and you are probably really curious about what the hell happened to me but i don’t feel safe to type it out on international platforms with public access. I don’t know if i ever will... Yeah i can talk to people i trust about it because i am in control of the space and the situation and who is obtaining that information but you never really know with the internet. 

maybe in the future i’ll write a book on it. even then i will probably use my alias make it a YA fiction with an added love story that ends in a happy ending. Maybe one day one of the school girl crushes I have will turn into that YA story and i dont have to make any of it up.

If i am honest...this blog is the only safe place i will probably ever have where he wont find me. He can find my school and my address and phone number and work and everything in between because that is just the way things work. Yeah yeah i get it stop posting shit on social media that is how he finds you whatever. What people dont understand is that I cant stop living my life again. I already started so i cant go back to giving him that power. It makes no sense. Also, his family is too confused by all of the ups and downs of the last year that they dont really know where i am going or what i am doing. So anyways, long story short - That’s why i am back on here, because it has become the same written safe haven I had when i was 15 and tried to escape my physical reality. Only difference is that i am trying to manage the mental reality of it all...

I also have so many questions about what to do next. Like i mentioned in another post, i didnt think i would make it to 21 but i did. I didnt think this far ahead so i guess i will just figure it out along the way but hear me out. How do i face a new reality that no one can relate to. At least not the people around me. How do i make friends and know when the “right time” is to tell them hey btw if this happens lmk lol. Even more importantly (because it relates to my future as world famous YA novelist.. lol sure grace...) How do I even date someone??? many questions are tied to that. like... I know theyre going to ask. “what happened?” “who is it?” “how can i help?” “Isnt there something we can do?”. i am more than willing to answer these questions because fuck, if im dating someone i would be curious too.. but do i even answer those questions. How do i know they are ready to handle that kind of information? how can i guarantee theyre not going to leave. How can i know that they arent going to be frightened by what has happened. how do i know they are not going to think differently of me. How do i explain to this person “yeah i have stress nightmares about what happened and when i wake up i think i am back in that situation and not where i live and i have to remind myself i am in a whole different area code but then its fine lol so if we share a bed at any point in time dont be alarmed if i wake up in a panic.” or how do i explain to them when something triggers me and all i can do is freeze because maybe it is him. Maybe he finally found me. but then i am back to reality and move on with my day because that is the only thing left to do. I cant throw myself a shitty pity party thats generic as fuck and i dont have time for it but whatever. moving on. next question. How do i know theyre not gonna walk away because they have the misconception so many people have?? Just because i went through some shit doesnt mean i am unstable or unloveable or whatever bs people think. This isnt going to go away. This shit is a aprt of me but it doesn not define me. it is not who i am.I dont have the option to make it go away but people have the option to pick up their things and go. seems unfair to me sometimes. It seems unfair to generalize people like that. I am always open to a new relationship but people expect me to be sitting at home scared to go out into the world and live my life. I have a life to live and i am so ready to explore it by myself or with someone by my side but quarantine has brought me back on here to deal with the fact that i am back to being stuck inside. Mentally and physically. One sucks less than the other. 

I have so many other questions but i am feeling tired again and its almost 4am so maybe i should go to bed. Y’all dont know how happy i am to have this trash site to vent to in the middle of the night. theres some relly judgy people on here but at least i know my feed wont judge me or try to fix what has happened. it will just listen.

Anyways, i doubt anyone will read this because this post got long as fuck but if you did i give you a high five and a virtual hug for getting through the clusterfuck of sentences. Thanks tumblr. If i ever go viral again on this shitshow of a website i may have to bring back my studyblr and go underground lmfao jk maybe. I cant wait to hug my friends and the people i have met that have become a part of my daily routine (yes even during social isolation, get off my ass I am still socially isolating). All i can do for now is wait for someone who cares about me for me and isn’t scared of my past or the pieces of it that linger in my present. I deserve nothing less. if they cant do that they are not worth my time and i hope they drop their keys every single time they go to open their front door. oh... they also better be ready for the hours i spend typing away my thoughts on my computer. Maybe one day they will be allowed to read them too... lol maybe not. whatever who knows. Peace out kiddos stay healthy xoxo.

[archeir-a-blog]

@@@@@

For every ‘@’ sent (anon or not) I will mention and post some positivity about a fellow tumblr user.

Note: These are in no specific order.

@ofgoldenblood I’ve been following Min’s Jace for awhile now. And though we haven’t roleplayed or talked much ooc (we play tag by literally tagging each other in character development things) I still have mad respect for Min’s Jace. Not only is this Jace fully fleshed out but the drabbles my god they’re amazing and there’s a lot of detail, and thought and love and dedication that go into everything Min posts. It shows. I appreciate when someone’s writing is easy to read because it flows so well and beautifully and I get that from this blog. I know you’ve been getting hate recently for your ships (one in particular) and I commend you for speaking out against it and standing your ground. Listen, do you. Love what you love and fuck everybody else. It’s so easy to tear someone down for whatever reason and yet it’s so hard to lift them up and compliment them on all the things they do right. You have talent and heart and genuine, real devotion and understanding to your character/s. No one can ever take that away from you. It makes you a great, all around real human being. Those are hard to come by. Bless you for putting out incredible, quality content regardless of what others say, think, or throw your way. Please, don’t ever stop. 

@sacredwar It’s no secret how much I love Sarah. And I can admit I’m totally bias writing this one but even those closest to me could use the positive reinforcements and I couldn’t deny that to someone who I cherish and hold so dearly to my heart. There isn’t a character Sarah can’t write or make come to life. I’ve seen her try her hand at multiple muses and each one is articulate and carefully devoted to. Its definitely not easy juggling multiple muses but Sarah does this and does it so well. She’s such an amazing and understanding person ooc. And I have the honor of calling her a close friend. She knows how much I love her (because I tell her this frequently) but she deserves all the love and adoration I have. I respect her, I appreciate her, I cherish her. More than words could ever describe. Sarah, you are precious to me. And for as long as I’m here, I’ll continue to make sure you know it. Please stay safe out there in Florida. I need you, parabatai. Your heart, and spirit are both so radiant. Thanks for reaching out to me when you did. It’s been a fantastic ride with you so far and there’s no way I’ll let it come to an end if I can help it.

@faultyhalo Nessa is lovely and takes the cake on writing OCs that I’ve come to love and cherish as if they were my own. If it weren’t for you, I really doubt I’d still be here. I love that even when we don’t talk every day, you come back and it’s as if nothing has changed. You’re one of those people that can come and go (online) and I’ll still love you the same, if not more every time. My love and adoration for you never wanes. I love you and Gen like she was my daughter. You’ve always been 100% real, and upfront. You say what you mean and what you feel and you’re a great person ontop of that. It’s always so easy replying to you or talking to you and it’s because we click so well. You always keep my interest and there’s nothing you could do to ever lose it. Gen is canon to me. You’ve put so much work into her character and it shows. It’s not easy writing OCs but you make it look like it is. Bless Gen for being so multi dimensional and bless you for giving me a chance to write with her and enjoy her in all of her sassy, badassery glory.

@tattoosnecks I LOOK REALLY FUCKING THIRSTY FOR JACE RN BUT IDC. Especially your Jace, HAHAHAHHAHA. Okay but listen, you are one of my best friends. It’s so funny because I feel like you came out of nowhere?? HAHAH. And it’s always the best people who do, lbr. Trish, words cannot express how much I love and adore you. I can talk to you for hours (and I do on telegram) about Jalec, how stupid our bf’s are, or really anything and anything under the sun. You know me on a deeper level than I think most do? You are forreal my soul sister. Idk where you’ve been hiding all my life but I’m glad I finally found you. There’s nothing I can say that I feel like you’d be like ‘ew don’t talk to me anymore’ HAHAHAH. Legit just thinking of some of the convos we’ve had, other people would probably think we’re weirdos and yet for us it’s no big deal. (I’m actually laughing help!) As long as you’re around and in my life, I know I’m gonna be filled with laughs and great friendship. You’re a good fucking time and oh how I wish we could hang out bc seriously it’d be a BLAST. Mark my words. When it comes to roleplay, I’m pretty obsessed with you??? And your portrayal of Jace. I mean I think that’s pretty obvious. I have no difficulty replying to you and end up sending you novels back and apologizing profusely for being so obnoxious but look that’s just a testament to you and all the things you make me feel whenever we write. That’s not an easy feat but you manage to do it every single time. My god everything you write I’m so in love with and I could re-read your replies (I always do) several times and still be hit with the same feelings as the first time. Like ??? That talent. GOD BLESS. And I’m pretty sure I’d feel that way about any character you write. You do justice to everything you put your heart into and it shows and it resonates and I wish that would rub off on me seriously. Thank you for sneaking up on me and being the greatest friend I could ever ask for. I don’t wanna be hella corny rn but Idk what I would do without you some days. You make life fun. YOU ARE LIFE.

@magnusofbane​ Tbh when I reblogged the meme for this, I had you in mind as one of the ones I wanted to definitely write about. Cassidy, your Magnus was the first I ever wrote with. And I’ve told you this before but every time I get a reply from you I fangirl because you sound so much like Magnus that it blows my freaking mind. And it makes it so easy for me to reply or respond because I can hear Magnus’s voice in your writing and that awakens my inner Alec even more. You inspire my muse, you incite him. Idk if you realize this but to me that’s just so incredible?? Especially to be on this side of it and feel it happening. You really get him and I can see the dedication and love you have for Magnus in everything you put out. Ontop of being an amazing writer though, you’re an even more amazing person ooc. I love how every time you sign on, you spread love and positivity to everyone on the dash. Your cute adorable puns never cease to make me laugh or smile. You always tell people that they deserve love and to be happy and so do you honestly. And what’s the greatest part about it all is that you GENUINELY mean it. You don’t say these things for a response or praise, you do it out of the kindness and goodness of your heart and seriously? I WISH there were more people in this community like you. I wish I could clone you because there is just not enough love and positivity on this platform but you bring it and you never ask for anything in return. You’re an amazing person and can I just thank you on behalf of myself (and everyone) for that? Thank you for being here, for making me and everyone else smile and for being the best person, writer, friend you can be. Though, I doubt it takes any effort from you at all because you’re just wired that way. I really dont think you even try. I think it just comes naturally and its a blessing. YOU, are a blessing. I love you so much ok?