#i dont know that ive had a real romantic relation in my life

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

tonaegiri dynamic

byakuya with makoto: being around you has changed me in ways i cant describe. your capability and flaws have forced me to acknowledge you as an equal, and it does not frighten me as much as it should

kyoko with makoto: you have helped me see things previously hidden from me. you have shown me a kindness that has changed me fundamentally. i am now selfish in wanting you to stay near to me for selfish reasons

byakuya and kyoko: you repulsed me because you are too much like me; i am disgusted and fascinated by the reflection of myself that i see in you. but where else can i find someone who is similar enough to myself? who can match me like you? who can understand me like you?

makoto with kyoko and byakuya: you are people who i can never aspire to be on level footing with, and yet here we are. you seem strange and unknowable to me, and yet you have let me know you. and you have sought to know me as well

[freebooter4ever]

my music repeats playlist:

moral of the story - ashe (got no excuse for this one, sigh)

moves - suki waterhouse (ha yeah THIS one started my obsession with suki's music, also relates to someone i want to put moves on lolllll)

never been in love - gatlin (i think the general theme for this almost entire year coming up in october has been my general anger at love)

cognitive dissonance - sophie holohan (dancey dancey we wont talk about the number of times ive jumped around my living room to this song)

stay - gracie abrams (omg OBSESSED. look singing along with this song is an emotional experience. 'if i woke up with you in the morning id forget all the ways we were broken i dont care if youve changed'. yeah no this has been on repeat for months at this point)

wolves - grace davies (lmao pure dancey dancey, that beat, i am not immune to some country sounding nonsense)

till forever falls apart - ashe, finneas (IF THE TIDE TAKES CALIFORNIA, IM SO GLAD I GOT TO HOLD YA, AND IF THE SKY FALLS FROM HEAVEN ABOVE, I KNOW I HAD THE BEST TIME FALLING INTO LOVE, we've been living on a fault line, and for a while you were all mine, i spent a lifetime giving you my heart, i swear that i'll be yours forever till forever falls apart!!!)

new romantics - taylor <3 (the best people in life are free ;))

wish on an eyelash - malrat (replacement for the number of times i played Charlie on repeat straight, charlie's love is pure)

the chain - fleetwood (daisy jones has my entire heart. 'AND IF YOU DONT LOVE ME NOW YOU WILL NEVER LOVE ME AGAIN')

bonus: ive never been there - yann tiersen (i used this as my running song non stop the entire time i was in ohio, i have no idea why, ohio drives you to do crazy shit)

yeah my repeats are either songs i dance to or songs i sing along with loudly with themes of romantic at heart who has never been fucking in love 🤣 thanks @rimouskis for the tag! i tag @gordiemeow @the-real-ramimalekpeen @quietpainter @born-on-a-beach-teach @kreiderrider @artemistlbreadco

[crying-in-converse]

Sorry to dump what I’m about to say on you but I’ve seen other people send you their aro/ace problems and I kinda wanted some advice

Um so basically I’m questioning whether I might be on the aro and/or ace spectrum. I currently identify as bisexual but sometimes I question it a bit. Like I do find some people sexually attractive and I think I’ve had crushes before but I’m not sure. I’m like Georgia from loveless if you have read that coz like I love romance stuff like bad romcoms and shipping characters and other people being in love. And for a long time I had this “crush” on a female friend but I never did anything about and never told anyone.

I don’t really relate to my friends who are in relationships or go out looking for them. Like I guess if the right person came along I’d like to date and have a special person like that in my life but I guess I find it hard to think of myself in those situations. And I think I want to have sex but like it’s sorta like I could take it or leave it.

Sorry again for dumping this all on you plz feel free to delete this ask

DONT BE SORRY FOR DUMPING

there was a long duration of my life where i was questioning my sexuality every second. i just wanted it to stop. i wanted to know who i was.

it took me forever to come to terms with being aromantic. i hated that idea. i wanted to be able to love someone, like the main characters in all the movies and books i read. i wanted to relate to all the love songs out there. i thought that because i was so romantic and loved a lot about romance, that i couldnt be aromantic. and honestly i pitied people who were. the first time i heard about being aromantic i thought "oh thats so sad that could never be me". but the more i thought about it, i realized. ive never had a crush and i dont want to be in a relationship. and i really dont get romance at all. but it took me a while to get there. i thought i was bi for a very long time (still am, but not in the way that i thought). and after discovering i was aromantic, that love for romance didnt feel so big. sure i still ship characters and like hearing about romance and im not completely repulsed. but knowing i was aromantic really let me discovered i didnt actually like romance all that much. only fictional ones honestly. idc about real peoples relationships (with some exceptions ofc)

i think you need to really just need to think about whether you are aro/ace. it takes time to really discover who you are and become comfortable in your sexuality. from what you told me, it sounds like you could be on the aro/ace spectrum. and all it really comes down to is attraction. are you attracted to people? anyone? rarely?

also there are soooo many ways to be aro/ace. there are so many microlabels.

think about what being aromantic/ asexual really means to you. its something different for everyone.

i wish you luck in your journey to self discovery <3 i'm glad you sent this ask and feel free to reach out again if you need it or any clarification.

[taegularities]

Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy

just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god

first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it

second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you

lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.

i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you

Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷

sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon

panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺

i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.

and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️

the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺

your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍

[kasaneteto]

been thinking about this guy a lot. dont read under the cut if you dont want persona 4 spoilers or dont want to hear me talk about how i used to wish this guy would do nasty things to me because of my trauma

first of all this is not a character analysis this is my very personal relationship with the character. second of all this is normally the kind of thing i would put on my private instagram but my roommate is currently playing p4 & i dont want him to get spoiled. so sorry that youre subjected to this i guess. anyways.

recently something ive realized about myself is that i am a HOPELESS romantic. i require something to pour my affections into. & if that isnt a person WELL its gonna be a fictional character. for me the adachi blorboism started right after i ended my first real “relationship”. i say “relationship” because it was less of that and more of me being groomed by a guy 5 years my senior. unfortunately, this guy was what got me into persona. he asked me to watch the p4 anime with him and that was it for me lmfao.

so wtf does that have to do with adachi. well i didnt think it had ANYTHING to do with him until recently. being in therapy has allowed me to really dissect the way my environment has manifested in my behaviors and atp im confident in saying that getting groomed is pretty much the reason i love adachi so much. groomer man was the literal definition of a nice guy, like i made a nice guys finish last joke to him once & his actual response was “but it’s true though…” and he was SO bummed when adachi was revealed to be the mastermind. he was all “ooouuhhhh it sucks because he was such a good character before that”

so i got out of that relationship, had clarity over the fact that he had been manipulating me the entire time, got my hands on my own copy of p4 (i had still only seen the anime & played arena atp) and when i got to adachi’s monologue i was like. THIS GUY IS AWESOME!!!! HOW IS HE A WORSE CHARACTER FOR THIS!!!! im realizing now that travis (groomer) probably felt very attacked by adachi’s motives. & not only that but that i felt very comforted by how blatantly evil he is. that sounds really weird so let me explain.

i saw (& honestly still see) adachi as someone who’s a product of his environment. he felt trapped & suffocated by inaba, felt mistreated by his superiors at work, and with being given access the tv world found something that he felt he could control, which was fun for him in a world of boredom, of which he felt like the victim. i related a lot to that feeling of being trapped somewhere you can’t escape from (both because of my relationship & at the time living with my parents) and really appreciated his fucked outlook on life. not like. the misogyny part. just the whole “life only favors the lucky ones” sentiment. i also saw him as a much more honest & self-aware version of travis. he knew he was doing bad things to people who didn’t deserve it, and his justifications were just “i was bored”. unlike my ex who probably still sees himself as a victim

idk! i guess the takeaway here is that there’s still so much more to me than i know. im learning new things about myself every day. im very glad to finally be on this journey of self-discovery. ive always been a really introspective person but i dont think i ever asked myself WHY? why am i like this. like actually. so im doing that now. & the answers are actually pretty fucked up! ive always played down my trauma because its what my parents and a lot of my peers did. my “best friend” as a kid (she was honestly just a bully) didn’t believe me when i told her that my parents fought. like it was so much worse than i allowed myself to believe. i played down getting groomed because I wasn’t like r*ped or anything (he touched me with my permission but no insertion happened idk if that counts as r*pe) but whenever i tell people that my parents were not only okay with it but allowed him to come visit me from Canada and STAY AT MY HOUSE….they are always shocked. because thats so fucked up! like… what!

alright ive really gone off the rails with this but in conclusion: adachi is a piece of shit and thats why i love him. he’s my disgusting babygirl. my awful little mongrel anime husbando. & you dont get him like i do

[sovereignzofdarkness]

hhai I think you're rllt cool uhm . Opinions on this dude?? :0

ah, beloved cheese... one of those characters i have a surprising amount of thoughts on but i feel like i dont actually ever talk about them

Sexuality Headcanon: this kind of goes hand in hand with my gender headcanon for them but i genuienly feel like they dont stick to labels all that much. they like being a human (or cookie i guess) enigma making men question their sexualities either which way. they think its funny and i feel like they revel in that kind of thing. they go with whoever they want and everyone around them desires them carnally

Gender Headcanon: again feel like they dont stick to labels but at most if they absolutely had to theyd consider themself transfem but dont really go beyond that. theyre some secret third thing A ship I have with said character: cinnafort has quiiiiickly grown into a big big favourite of mine dont even ask me how it just happened i like it a lot. cant help enjoying the trope of a more outwardly souave character paired with someone whos just a hot mess. (not to say roguefort isnt also a hot mess but no ones gotta know... for now...) though honorable mention to cheesefort because i can never forget a first love... (still like the pairing cinnafort is just my go to rogue pairing) LAST MINUTE EDIT TO SAY I ALSO REALLY LIKE CROWFORT ME AND A BUDDY HAVE WRITTEN A LOT OF SPECIFIC SCENARIOS REGARDING THEM TOGETHER AND I THINK THEYRE A REALLY FUN RIVALS TO STILL KIND OF RIVALS BUT WITH A WEIRD ROMANTIC TENSION GOING ON THEYRE VERY FUN.

A BROTP I have with said character: roll cake and roguefort living in the same apartment complex and becoming kind of friends through that is something that started in a roleplay server of mine and ive kind of been obsessed with the idea since. i really like the idea of rogue and roll being friends, not super close but roll invites rogue to dinner sometimes just as a nice thing to do as sort-of neighbors and hes completely oblivious to rogues personal life but they get along well enough

A NOTP I have with said character: this may be a bold one to say and i dont really *hate* it as much as i just find it *boring* but i kind of dont care much for almondfort. i understand the appeal, serious straightlaced detective with smug thief, i understand why people like it, and i understand why its the most popular pairing for the both of them (except maybe beaten by almondlatte w almond but im not even sure about that) but at the same time it feels like the most...boring approach to their dynamic? to be blunt? at least in the way ive seen it portrayed most of the time.

i dont mean this to be mean to anyone who likes the pairing bc i know there are people in my following who do like them; those are just my own personal thoughts. ive always found a more interesting reading of their dynamic to be related a bit to how i generally view almond; someone who tends to accidentally come off as patronizing to anyone younger than him and whos instincts as a father can genuienly sometimes get in the way of his detective work when it comes to certain criminals. and then take roguefort, someone who comes from a somewhat troubled family background, and that almond knows that they come from a somewhat troubled background, and well almond starts having a sort of pitying, 'i know they can do better' mentality that i feel roguefort would be aware of and would honestly probably drive them to act out more which causes almonds pitying to get stronger and well its an awful cycle. went on a bit of a tangeant there, but i think that sort of weird strained dynamic can just be a lot more fun to explore imo. no drag to anyone who does like them as a ship but those are just my thoughts

A random headcanon: i think in a real life human setting roguefort would be franco belgian

General Opinion over said character: rogue is a very very very fascinating individual. very fun to write about! has so many things wrong with them

[newlyy]

just gonna let it all out because im mostly anonymous on here, if you know me irl don’t read this

so im 30 years old, and have had bad social anxiety and low self esteem my entire life, still have them now, and so i haven't had a real, meaningful romantic relationship and unless you’re in that position, of never having any kind of confirmation that you’re wanted in a romantic way, i dont think you can understand how badly it fucks you up. its not only this huge, glaring indication that there’s something wrong with you, it’s also this like weight tied to your leg, holding you back from being on the same level as people your age and relating to them about this huge thing that usually is a prominent part of everyone’s life. it’s a wall between me and everyone else that i cant really acknowledge because it’s weird and they’d pity me. i feel lonely and hopeless and sad about that. its an achilles heel, it always takes me down. like ive just been lonely for so long, if you haven’t experienced it, you don’t know what it’s like. and like when people in your life get romantic partners, you just lose them to an extent. and its not even like they prioritize their romantic relationship, its just the familiarity and intimacy that comes when you live with someone and are around them every day. and i dont know if im ever going to experience that, even though ive wanted to since like middle school and that thought breaks my heart. the thought of telling 12 year old me that you will continue to want and not have for 18 years. and likely a lot longer. and i dont want to keep doing it. 

then add to that that im unemployed, im overweight, im completely stagnant. i feel like a child living at home with my parents. i hear about my cousin who’s my age and lives in a big city, doing things that adults do and i just feel like im not really here. like i dont even exist. like i stopped living years ago. the days are so long. my friend sent me a tiktok the other day of a guy being like if i could have one superpower it would be that whenever i sleep time stops, and i couldn’t relate to that at all because all i do, all day, is wait to fall back asleep again. do i just do this for years until i die? im afraid of when my parents will die. im afraid to be alone. i think i might kms when my parents die because i dont have anyone else. i dont want to leave my brother alone, because hes as fucked as i am. but i dont want to just get by for decades. 

im not gonna proofread this, im just gonna post it, sorry if it doesnt make sense, sorry its self-pitying, i do realize im really fortunate

[menalez]

Questtioning Febfem anon i can relate. Personally ive reached a point where it doesnt matter to me anymore trying to find my "innate sexuality" because ill never really know how id feel about men if hadnt experienced the amount of trauma that i have, even though thats also really hard to accept tbh, bc theres always this sliver of doubt and the feeling of not truly knowing yourself, but honestly, who under like 70 actually truly does?

What matters to me right now is learning from my experiences with men. It doesnt matter wether or not what i feel for them is real, genuine and inherent sexual attraction or not, because i know that after every encounter ive had with a man, even men ive trusted and loved and consented to having sex with, my body inevitably goes haywire and i end up panicky, disgusted and full of guilt, shame, self hatred and extremely destructive urges.

I had a hard time accepting that and i thought since i clearly am bisexual since ive had consensual sex with more than one man, maybe this time it'll be good and it'll be worth it and i just gotta relax or communicate or something, for a long time, because it felt like i somehow had to.

But i dont have to. I never had to. And although i miss sex and dating, it is better to be celibate until ive healed and worked on myself enough to feel like im "worthy" of being intimate with another woman again, and having no romantic or sexual encounters is much better for my overall well being than engaging in sexual acts that i know will make me feel horrible both during and after the fact.

There is no shame in being attracted to men, and there honestly isnt even a need/obligation to figure out if you truly are attracted to men or not. What matters is that you know what you DO want, and if you feel a hunger and desire for other women and you know thats what you actually want, just focus on that.

You're not defined by your attraction to men nor by your lack of attraction to them. Do what makes you feel good, and dont do things that make you feel bad. You dont have to identify as a febfem in order to never date or sleep with a man ever again in your life, you dont need a label nor an excuse, although i 100% understand the appeal of wanting to find a community that gets you were you can be completely open without worrying about overstepping or invading lesbian only spaces, while also wanting to avoid having to hear about men and het sex etc.

What im trying to say is just, We'll be okay, you'll be okay, i hope the best for you random online woman who ive never spoken to but feel a great deal of solidarity with. Love you, be safe, take care of yourself and prioritise your own wants and desires♡

!!!!

[oni-tengu]

DONT REBLOG

ive basically had my ask box open for months so feel free to send requests but i got a booster today & my shit hurted (arm is sore) so im gonna chill tonight maybe. idk.

aaaaanyway, status aside, i just. man. those asks this morning LMAO ive had to just say shit before (ie getting inc*st shippers in my notifs) & clarify im not down with this shit, so.

i just need to talk, and if you disagree with the following, have any issues at all, question the legitimacy of things listed below, just do me a favor & block. i wont be responding to any potential distaste for anything i talk about, but here's some shit i am against and feel vital to clarify. so you know where i lie and that this blog has no space for awful things, its become unfortunately very important to state certain....things. long post

cw / tw for mature topics in mention (AGAINST the following) : p*dophilia inc*st gr**ming

firstly, the topic of inc*st. hard no, this ALSO goes for anything involving minors in any sexual context, minors with adults in an unreasonable age gap (lets just say the limit is 18 y/o with a 20 y/o as acceptable and i generally avoid thinking about people under 20 anyhow bc im 23 and ive lost relatability with people that much younger than me)

why? the idea that fiction does not affect reality is just something i dont agree with. fiction needs criticism, yes, but having things portraying p*do and inc*st in a sexually gratifying light contributes to brainwashing & grooming, and ive seen it firsthand because i was on homestuck tumblr in 2012 when i was 13 years old and it was NORMALIZED. it was a case of community grooming and it FUCKING WORKED. i feel grateful that i was able to see past it when i got older but it was DANGEROUS and theres a plethora of horror stories of kids at cons & meetups being actively groomed and put into harmful situations in real life. this is just a fact, this all happened, i witnessed it firsthand, and i have friends that were right there with me.

placing the blame on minors and victims is not the response anyone should have. saying to "think critically" about the media a person consumes when someone is being actively harmed by the topics above, is harmful in itself. it is not on the victims to "know better" when they are being groomed, just because it seems easy for others, when this is an active, real life issue. and honestly, fuck you so hard if you disagree with that, or that its not even "real"

i truly have such a hard time believing that people honestly defend literal fucking p*dophilia online under the guise of "its harmless fiction". i think people who agree with that are perpetrating this propaganda, brainwashing, and the minors who think its okay HAVE been brainwashed and they dont even know it. they vehemently defend it, and most people in the REAL WORLD would be horrified and disgusted by this, even afraid for these teens and preteens. i certainly am!

moving on to the next point of discussion, i think sexualities and genders should be respected! youd think this is an obvious one, but hey look, last night someone wanted me to draw dirk strider in a romantic ship with a woman. this goes for fiction and real life, sexuality and gender matter & should be respected. ill be honest, theres some microlabels and identities i dont always understand, but people finding comfort in things, figuring stuff out, its usually just something you should let be, and i try to. i dont believe harassment is the answer & i'd go out of my way to defend someone with an identity i dont understand, if theyre being bullied! as long as youre not being offensive or harmful, this is a safe area for yall

i.e. trans men are men, trans women are women. i've had my own identity questioned since i identify with being nonbinary/agender and a lesbian at the same time, and to me and many others in the community, this makes sense, but to others it clearly does not. as long as youre not encroaching on communities that are not for you, your identity should be respected, and i am determined to reflect that in my creations as well.

to wrap this up, hoping i got the more "controversial" things out of the way, i want to point out that there are nuances to every social topic. i was not born with knowledge of all things, and every year im learning about stereotypes ive never heard of, history that belongs to communities im not a part of! so, i want to say that if im unconsciously adding to or portraying some offensive thing, itd be important to me to be made aware. morals & empathy are two things i care about very deeply and if theres something i should know, then i'd at least LIKE to know.

if theres another social topic that matters to you enough that you want to know where i stand so you can feel comfortable in who you follow, i'd be open to questions. but to reiterate: any bullshit about disagreeing with me, any hate, etc will not be responded to & will be met with a VERY adorable block (: so cute when that block button is utilized. feel free to use it tbh

so. there we are. showing my whole ass here. morality matters and im sticking to my guns

TL:DR

i hate inc*st and p*dophilia, fiction affects reality, non harmful identities should be respected, tell me if i fuck up.

[florencicle]

reallu long rant below tw for talkimg ab sex in general

i love my best friend to death. i do. i genuinely love her so much but today she just absolutely pressed my last button and i snapped and i feel bad about it but like. basically for context my best friend was like super popular in hs and ms and then there was always Me. like it was (let's call her L) it was "omg there's L!!" and then me trailing behind her. the only reason i wasn't a complete loser in high school was because she stood up for me to everyone who even dared talk shit or be mean to me. and like not to say that this was one of those really horrible friendships in the movies where the popular girl is always mean to her best friend - that's not the case at all. this girl is genuinely my platonic soulmate and she has saved my life on multiple occasions and she is the reason i am still here. i love her to death. but her popularity really just . bothers me ?? i guess. that sounds super like gross and jealous but i'm not jealous. i like my solitude. but she's always got people in her dms who want to date her and shes always in the talking stage with someone or like she's always getting hit on. she's talking to this guy who she REALLY likes and this other guy who she's kinda just like leading on and like it's so frustrating. even though i told her like hey man as someone who was JUST in that situation it kinda sucks you really shouldn't lead that boy on and she's like but it's just hard to open up to (original boy she likes) and it's ez to open up to this guy and so i want to keep him around as an option. and the boy has like no problem with this bcus ik him personally and like he's also talking to other girls at the same time so it's not really the whole like leading him on thing that bothers me. it's just like. idk it makes me feel kinda outcasted and insecure hwen it comes to talking about our romantic lives because she's always talking to someone she really likes and i'm either recuperating from a bad situation or i'm in a bad situation. i have never had a romantic relationship that has ever treated me like a human being. /srs. i think that's why i'm still caught up on this whole thing that just happened bcus for once in my life i felt like someone actually cared about me and actually liked me for me and treated me like i fucking mattered. it just is so alienating to me whenever she talks about it because i don't understand how she opens herself up for love so easily after rejections and bad situations. it's so so so hard for me to open up to friends, let alone someone i'm romantically interested in, and so i can just never relate to her. and i hate opening up, i do, zone wohld know, they've asked countless times for me to talk about my feelings and i just. Can't. so for her to just be like yeah i'll keep this guy around as an option u know just to be safe it's so ??? and upsetting bcus i don't get options. i get one person who i think i like and then i hesitantly open up and then boom. they do something shitty or they leave me and i'm left to pick up the pieces and there goes any chance of me opening up to anyone for the next 700 years. after i broke up with my ex last august it took me literally an entire year to let myself even think about the idea of a romantic relationship. my friend can just rebound so easily and i don't get it. i dont connect to people the way she does and whenever i connect to people there's just something so horribly wrong about me that makes them want to leave or that makes them treat me like garbage. and it's just. i'm almost 20 and ive never been on a real date and im still the v word and im so so so behind on everything. i cannot connect to people easily and it's even harder for me to make them stay and it's just. i wonder how she can do it and i can't and it's like. there's gotta be something wrong with me. i've done everything. i've changed my hair i got piercings i changed my style i put effort into my appearance and still nobody wants me (mitski ref) and the people who do want me end up hurting me. i just cannot for the LIFE of me understsnd what is so wrong about me.

oh my god i hit the maximum for a text block i didn't even know that was a thing. anyways. i've spent the last couple of days rotting in my room trying to figure out why i can't be a normal teenage girl and go on dates. i have to LIKE LIKE the person to even consider a date with them. i have to be practically in love to even consider having sex with them. i kissed a guy in july. we are good friends, we went to see lovejoy together like. that's my homie fr. we kissed and it wasn't a bad kiss but i wasn't attracted to him. i was sick to my stomach for weeks /srs. i genuinely was nauseous and ill and i felt gross for weeks because i just wasn't attracted to him. and it's like. my friends r out having sex and going on dates and i can't even consider sex with someone i don't like like. and they're like oh sex isn't even that such a big deal like once u have ur first time it's genuinely not special you don't need to give ur v card to a special person and it's like. it's not that. i could care less about sex and your first time being some sacred important thing or whatever, i just don't feel comfortable having sex with a total stranger. i was so opposed to the idea of even having sex with my ex because i wasn't attracted to him anymore towards the end and i just .. to me sex is such an intimate thing and it's so vulnerable and i hate being vulnerable that i would rather die a virgin than have sex with someone i met on tinder. and i don't get it. why can't i be normal?? why can't i just be normal and go on dates and let people in so easily?? i just genuinely want to be Normal and be okay with the idea of talking romantically to multiple people at once. i just want to be able to talk about my many different options wjth my friends instead of me sitting there like a fucking dweeb who's recovering from another hesrtbreak. like i don't understand how they can give themselves to multiple people at once because when i like someone i give them everything i have. i give every bit of effort that i have to make it work andnit just doesn't and i am always left heartbroken because i just can't be normal and be happy with the idea of talking to someone romantically and not expecting a relationship. why r we talking romantically if there's going to be no relationship. i don't get it. that doesn't make any sense to me. one time my best friend called me a serial monogamist and i think that's 1. really fucking funny and 2. it's just true. i don't see the point in fooling around and it's what's gotten me heartbroken so many times bcus im just seen as something to fool around with. a fun summer fling or someone to get them through the winter. i just . it's hard to believe that this has happened to me three fucking times already but it's because i keep putting myself in those situations. i keep putting myself in the position to be heartbroken because i can't be normal and want to have a fling. i dunno. it's all so stupid and i wish hookup culture didn't fucking exist and people weren't so shitty and i wish that i was actually loveable and capable of being given love. i deserve it. i do i know i do. i may be a bitch and a cunt but i've never done anytning Bad in my life. i deserve to be loved the way everyone else is being loved. i deserve it and yet i cant fuckimg receive it

[faeriecap]

MCALPINE SESSIONS ANON HERE, BESTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry I've been MIA, there was a little drama with a certain ship that is prominent on your blog that I just did not wanna deal with lmao. I didn't wanna project my annoyance with the ship onto you so for my sanity, I had to leave BUT I'M HERE NOW AND FERAL FOR SOME UPDATES (or just some shop talk, I need more friends 🥲) I hope you've been doing well though! I saw you were on a little hiatus a while back so I hope everything is good on your side of the universe ❤️

YAAAAAAAY YOURE BACK!!!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷 tysm for thé well wishes firstly, things are up and down over here but i’m trying my best to just keep on keeping on and the support means all the world to me! but it’s pride month so i’ve been trying have more fun and just enjoy it, i’m hoping to see some of the new marvel releases soon and OMGGG THE NEW CAP 4 content i am barking i am feral SAM LOOKS SO GOOD HES BACK HES BAAAAAACK

in terms of fic ive been writing a little bit but not as much as i’d like bc i’ve been pretty busy with life and also the rpg i’m currently modding lol HOWEVER i’ve locked in some new plot points and my definite plan once time frees up for me in a few months is a full rewatch of all 3 cap films and maybe even sam’s other cameos (and maybe fatws…. not sure yet, that one i saw more recently and a LOT of time has to pass before i can stomach rewatching anything if i ever do at all, even my favorite things, bc my attention span SUCKS lmao) + hopefully i’ll be able to crank out some of the scenes for the fic set within that time frame (bc i’ve been writing most of the ones that happen post cacw) and then it’ll be done! or ready to be beta’d at least… which… if ur interested 👀 i cant remember what my last update for u was about so i’ll update this post with a new snippet once it’s been shared <33

edit: here it is!!

the front door slammed, and sam dropped his keys on the counter before appearing upside down above them. to his credit, he did not seemed phased to find them tangled up underneath the couch’s throw blanket in the middle of the day.

“what’s this about hickeys, and why am i getting them?”

“bucky’s retired.” steve offered by way of explanation, raising his free arm to pull sam closer. even so, they couldn’t quite reach without him doubled over the frame, so he wandered down the hallway to change out of his clothes before steve could kiss him.

the problem is all the scenes post cacw after they get together are sort of just random which means it goes from this intense emotional will they won’t they with a touch of actual canon events created non romantic tension to this slush of fluff and domesticity and no real stakes anymore hahahahaha like idk where to go with it??? beyond just. making them cuddle more LMAO so…. any suggestions from the people lmk

i hope you’ve been doing well yourself and taking care of yourself and i as always look forward to hearing from you again soon :))) with regards to the ship drama, i am SOOOO curious could u elaborate??? was the drama related to my blog or just like generally in the fandom? DONT LEAVE ME HANGIN WHAT WAS THE SHIP 👀👀👀 i don’t feel like i post that many so i’m so intrigued which it could be lol since i’m assuming it’s not sambucky and probably (??) not stevebucky (tho maybe)

but seriously though i’d love to know bc i don’t want my account to be uncomfy for anyone but least of all my fav anon x so if i need to update my tagging system for u to properly blacklist my posts about it or anything of the sort pls lmk, either here (and i can answer privately too if you’d prefer 🤍) or messaging me! plus if by drama there’s smth actually problematic im rb i absolutely wanna be informed and aware of it! i will confess i’m quite curious as to who my secret admirer could be ;)) and i appreciate ur honesty!

until the next meeting, be well and lots of love 🫶🏻

[feysandfeels]

thank u! The situation is this, roughly. I'm in my mid 20s and I live in city A, where I'm very comfortable. I have all my friends here, old firndships of 10+ years and new ones. Since I'm not close to my family, they're extremely important to me. In the past two years I've maybe spent 15 days without meeting anyone, being able to socialise and lean on my friends is super important to me. I love my city, I'm comfortable here and I know I wanna spend my life here. However, I cant get my masters degree here, I'd have to do an expensive online degree and I've really been considering moving somewhere else for my masters for a while now, to use that opportunity and get to know a new place before returning here for good. I dont really wanna do an online degree, spending 6 hours a day in my room with no way to socialise and meet new friends. Ive been dating someone since november 22, we just broke up a couple days ago. I think ive sent u asks about him before lol. He lives in city B, 600 km away from me and ultimately the distance was the break up reason, although admittedly there have been other struggles as well. He said if I were to move there, he'd love to date me again for real this time. City B is far away, but it would actually offer me a good (and free) degree, its a vibrant metropolis and I could honestly do worse. The thing is, I'm scared of moving there only to end up depressed and homesick and on top of that back in a rocky relationship. I love and miss him a lot but there is no guarantee this would work out, even without the distance.

Got any advice? Both options have their pros and cons I guess

Hello My Love,

I'm sorry for the late reply but it was my grandma's birthday and a woman is nothing if not extra and we literally had celebrations for her the whole week. But she deserves it. Fabulous lady, truly.

Anywho, I have been thinking about this a lot and I - do you have a cunty friend? Can I be your cunty friend? Like I will give you hugs and bake you cookies, but can I be the cunty friend?

Because here is what I think: do not include that man or your relationship with him in your decision making process. Even though, I think distance is a valid reason when talking about North America -and America in general as traveling within the continent is not as cheap or easy as it is in other places... I am looking at you "long distance relationships within England"- the fact that you were also having other issues makes me believe that maybe maybe this is not where you should be putting your energy. If you give him a deciding factor weight type of thing then there might be chance you end up in a program that is good but not "the one", in a relationship that shows you that the problems that were not distance related are still there and well with a cup half empty. Personally, and feel free to disagree and be more of a romantic here... but personally I feel that if you guys have only been together a couple of months he should not hold such privilege weight in your life as to be a deciding factor to where you do your MA, that is something that comes with time and dedication.

Even if you do think it is worth a shot please please have a good think about whether it comes from a sense of comfort and of "hey at least I would have someone there" or the comfort of having previously been together. If this dude was not in an emotional position to put the effort to be in a long distance relationship with you then I think you deserve someone who will put that effort and even encourage you to fully look at all the available brilliant MA options you have. There's nothing wrong with him not wanting to do that and peace be with him and all that, but you deserve someone who will be there even when an ocean stands between you two.

Choose your MA because it feels your heart with joy to study whatever it is on, because you love the classes, because the campus seems nice and they have cool clubs and a nice community, because there are cute cafes and the nice restaurants, because the bookstores are amazing, because the scenery is inspiring, because you want to learn... and then jump.

Now for the MA experience and the fear of leaving home. I will not lie to you babygirl, it is daunting and settling in will take a while. This being said it will be an adventure! A great one at that. I feel these experiences allow you to truly get to know you for who you are when your familiar context is stripped away, you learn to spend time with you, to date you, to enjoy your own company; simultaneously it forces you to grow past the beautiful fence that limits your comfort space, to face the horizon and see all that land with boundless opportunity for you to build something from it and cherish it.

I know there's a fear of what if I don't meet new friends? what if my teachers suck? what if there is no cute cafes? what if I feel alone? But during those years you learn to communicate with your loneliness and find company within it; you learn that a smile is universal and most likely people will also be looking to make friendly connections; you learn things that you like about yourself that can help you grow into a new version; your teachers will most likely be lovely; you learn to love and be with people at a distance (you have an online community that literally travels with you, and your friends from home will adapt to you being away and you will not feel alone). Don't let fear of the unknown stop you, because even within the borders of your hometown the unknown will find you.

There's something my MA teacher used to say to me that I have loved ever since: be brave and head into the unknown, you never know which constellations you will find in a new sky.

Hope it helped..

sending you lots of love and light.

Ps: if you end up choosing the MA in the city he is in, make sure you are choosing it because of the program and the city... make sure you would choose it even if that dude did not live there.

Ahora sí, besos mi reina (gn)

[literaphobe]

I know we talked about it but. Fucking. Glaciator

ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THIS OOPS SORRY IM LATE i just finished my s3 rewatch (i now think its rather slay. i like dragonbug and um well snake noir could have a better design but i love it when they combine miraculouses and its just two of them against the world <3) anyway rewatching glaciator now! (this got long. putting it under a cut for those who care <3)

thoughts before rewatch: i love the ice cream episodes. andre sucks but his villain episodes are so good and for what. i cant wait to see the rooftop scenes again

i love scenes that have nothing to do w the regular episode formula. ladynoir randomly saving some bus from crashing is so cute. but also wtf is up w this city. like OKAY so these 14/15 year olds have superpowers and u dont so they have to fight supervillains. whatever. but they gotta help you uphold the integrity of your public transport system too?? get a grip paris

i find it so funny whenever adrien does an unexpected pussy slay transformation sequence and plagg is like woAoOAoaoOAHH i would love to see tikki act this way. also obsessed w how kwamis r like ur secret best friend who judge ur every move and laugh at ur L love life

how the fuck does andre just KNOW marinettes in love w someone w green eyes. and hes fucked up for exposing her :/ i agree w her freaking out man i wouldn't want my classmates knowing i like someone like. im mysterious ok.

also he doesn't charge for his ice cream right?? like ive never seen anyone paying this dude. what a baby... like ok big deal some teen girl doesn't want to eat. no need to cry over it loser...

tikki and marinette r like. neurotypical therapist talks to adhd girl. shes rsding rn tikki she thinks all her friends will hate her for ruining everything n that she'll never be happy. i also believe theres a universe where ladybug would've went to meet chat noir if she had time to. but she got upset so she forgot. again, she has adhd

also marinette realizing chat is in love w ladybug for real is so funny. like what did u think he wanted. what did u think he was. she straight up thought he was just balling or like some kind of player who flirts w anything that moves. i find it incredibly relatable that she had no fucking clue <3

'im... so sorry' 'why? its not your fault' i also always apologize even when its not my fault. anyway this scene is awesome. its her fault but its also not her fault. i love drama

'whats that? another supervillain in love with you?' i want this to be like a pattern. like imagine if there were multiple akumatized villains in love w marinette. obsessed w her unbeatable rizz

the sensitive side of chat noir... like it or not. this is when she started slowly falling for him

i love it when one of them is mad at one of the other's alter egos but totally chill w the other. like oh hi marinette :) -> fuck you ladybug >:(

ladynoir arguing... maybe its the broken family divorced kid in me but i love it when they do that

this episode gains points for ladybug's idea being kinda weird girl strange. it gains more for chat's cataclysm being part of the plan and not just to like break the akuma <3

obsessed w rejection scenes that r like. very romantically charged. this is how i feel about the little women 2019 jo/laurie scene. like they had more chemistry in a rejection scene than literally every amy/laurie scene. im right. im also right that the moon looming behind ladynoir as she sadly turned him down only to blush when he kissed her cheek goodbye was romantic. she FELT something. so awesome. obsessed w push pull dynamics. obsessed w repression and denial

one of my fave things about this episode is that chat wasn't mad when she rejected him, only upset when she didn't turn up at first. he wasn't mad that he 'failed' to get her or that she loved someone else. he just wanted to get a chance to tell her how he felt and be with her. he was happy even to be her friend. to be important to her... he was happy just to have spent time with her :(

For The Ending,,,,,,, personally i think it would have been a tad bit more interesting to get some adrienette interaction? like i like the idea of them just barely missing each other and having ice cream on opposite sides of the bridge to an extent, but it would have been interesting if adrien walked up right as andre was scooping marinettes ice cream and theyre like oh hi haha and marinette sees adrien get his very obviously ladybug themed cone and be like ??? about it and have one of them or maybe even andre suggest they get a cone together someday......

overall! ive decided 8.7/10. def a good episode with a lot of important moments, but there's def other episodes and stuff that outshine it. B+!

[booasaur]

hi. im very sorry if this is weird but i saw your post about greta from generation coming out as ace and when i watched the show i saw so much of myself in her character and im just confused because i identify as a lesbian but im starting to think maybe im ace too. but the thing is i dont want to be. like ive had two gfs and i didnt really kiss either of them but honestly i didnt want to? but i Do want to be intimate with someone in the future like i really really want that but when ive had the chance to do so i just find myself not wanting to. im not sure if its because i was with the wrong people or if im ace and just denying it and i am so confused and im like how am i supposed to ever feel fulfilled in a relationship if i dont have sex and im just freaking out a bit ok sorry

Okay, anon! I’m sorry it took so long to reply, I was gathering my thoughts.

First, whatever you want is genuinely going to be defined by whatever you want. That is the key here. I’m sure you’ve already been asking yourself "Do I want to be intimate with someone because I feel I should or because it’s something I want?” and don’t have the answer yet, but you don’t need to answer right away! That’s the fun part, nothing here has to be on anybody’s schedule but yours. 

And that includes the definitions that come with labels. There’s that saying, right, labels are descriptive, not prescriptive. Your desires and boundaries come first, they decide what you want and do, not the label. Maybe one day you’ll know and you’ll find relief and freedom in picking it, and yet, you may also change your mind the next day. That’s fine! 

Maybe those were the wrong people, or the wrong time, or anything all, and you’re not ace. Maybe you are, or a shifting point on the ace spectrum. You don’t have to decide now, there’s no deadline, no age by which you have to submit out a form. 

When you say “How am I supposed to ever feel fulfilled in a relationship if I don’t have sex?”, it’s not a requirement. Those are other people’s rules, and a decreasing amount at that. When we talk about society’s expectations, there are a LOT of people who would define, say, adulthood by drinking. If you haven’t done that, you’re missing out, they say. There are some cultures that focus on that to a weird degree. Well, I’ve never drunk a drop. But you’ll say, I dunno, that example’s a bit of a reach, it’s not relevant to relationships. Fine, but you know what are? Marriage and having children. For a LARGE number of people, a Full Real relationship has to have those. And yet, you would agree, right, that people without them can have fulfilling even life-long romantic relationships?

I can talk about people who are perhaps too elderly or unable to have sex, are they not in relationships? But you actually don’t need a reason. You can just not want it. Or want some forms of intimacy. It’s really up to you and your partners to decide. As long as you communicate and are open about it, THAT is the thing you need for fulfilling relationships. Any kind, whether or not sex is involved.

Another thing to think on is that until we got the final reveal in the last ep of the season, a lot of people speculated that Greta might be demi. If you saw a lot of yourself in her, maybe that’s what you related to. Not to say that this is necessarily some kind of loophole where you can be like, ohhh, thank goodness, that’s me, I’m “normal” after all. Not at all! It’s just another option. Just focus on yourself and not what other people think. For me, when I was going through my own “am I a lesbian” era, it was tough not because I had any kind of conflicting feelings about it, I was surprisingly fine about it, it was just the thought of how difficult my life would become. It was everyone else I was focused on. But in the end, they don’t matter enough to decide my comfort.

I just can’t reiterate enough that in this, what you want is the only thing that matters. It doesn’t matter what your friends, girlfriends, siblings, or parents say. If you don’t want sex, there is no relationship worth forcing yourself. If you’re not comfortable with it, how can it be something you really want, you know? There’s such a huge difference between wanting something and thinking you want it. Take a deep breath and remember there’s absolutely no pressure to do anything here, to have sex, to decide a label. Just take your time with it.

[faemytho]

I’m not really in the hazbin hotel fandom ((I love the show don’t get me wrong I’m just not in the fandom)) but I kinda wanna see what you mean? Also I figure you’re still okay with people shipping him just either the fact that people ignore that canonical he is aroace sex repulsed or use it as a “oh we just have to fix him” trope (which fuck that trope)

Same asker that admitted to not really being in the hazbin hotel fandom but liking the show- thought it over and i actually don’t know how you could do Alstser (can’t spell bare with me) without having him as aroace sex repulsed without having him look barely anything like the original- maybe apart from that fic you made a while back

-

okay so, in regards to this post i made earlier about aroace romantic/sex repulsed alastor, that was a headcanon. (i said, and i quote, its canon bc i said so, but in reality ive fooled u all it was just a headcanon i even said so in the tags)

my headcanons aside, alastor IS canonically ace, as referenced by this tweet below (and hey, canon bi character!!! we love that!!)

there is also a footnote on the HH wiki that says alastor is aromantic as well, but the footnote links to a four hour stream video, and i do not actually have the patience to comb through it to see if that's true or not (or if it even came from the mouth of vivzie)

uh, yeah. here's the link to the stream, in case anyone wanted it/was curious.

canonicities aside, lets get one thing out of the way:

i am all for ignoring canon, using fandom to do whatever you want, ect ect, all power to the fans and whatnot, do what you want and be free because its fiction

which means, yes, i am 1000% okay with people shipping alastor with whoever they want! with angel, with charlie, with husk, with vaggie, with nifty, ect ect ect, i don't care, ship what you want, be free, live your best life.

my problem, though, is this: literally nobody in this fandom knows how to write an ace character. and when they do write him as "ace", its OFFENSIVE.

i cannot COUNT the amount of alastor fics ive read where he's supposedly written as asexual (and its usually even tagged in the fic tags, "asexual character"), then ends up sexually attracted to his given partner for that fic, and when they actually go to do the deed, alastor is infantilized to, well, hell and back. and by that, i mean a few things.

he either:

doesn't understand his sudden sexual attraction and/or sexual feelings

doesn't understand what's going on during the sex scene

doesn't know the proper terms for body parts and sexual processes

is HIGHLY feminized and is categorized as "submissive" while the partner becomes the "dominant" and continues on with the sex scene

not only is that fourth one misogynistic and homophobic (an entire other can of worms about how feminine sub/masculine dom in homosexual relationships enforces toxic heteronormativity, aka, the idea that one must "be the girl" and one must "be the man"), but all four of these together are aphobic when you realize, "hey, alastor is an ace character".

off my point a little bit, but ANY relationship (gay, straight, and/or otherwise) should not be using sub/dom as a model to follow - sub/dom is a BDSM kink thing; it should NOT be the normalized sex model for ANY relationship.

there's nothing wrong with kink! but doing BDSM wrong can severely hurt/mentally damage either partner if done incorrectly. normalizing it means that so many young people don't actually understand what sub/dom actually means, and even less the consequences if done wrong.

but back to my point: asexual people get infantilized. and we get infantilized often, because people think "oh, you're not interested in sex/you've never had sex, so you must not 1) know anything about it, 2) know anything about the real world and how nitty gritty it is to survive out here"

basically, ace people get treated like children. a lot.

here is a fantastic article that explains the rampant infantilization of both aro and ace people, and why it is aphobic to do that.

i highly recommend you all read the article, because it is fantastically well written and concise. here's my favorite paragraph:

"Society conditions us to believe that a lack of romantic or sexual attraction is a transitory period. This viewpoint assumes an inevitable progression from a nonsexual to sexual state of being that marks entry into adulthood. Similarly, engaging in romantic relationships is recognized as a milestone of maturity. This stereotyping results in the infantilization of all aromantic and asexual spectra people, especially those who are entirely romance and/or sex-averse. It also incorrectly characterizes asexual people as sex-negative, even though personal sex-aversion and general sex positivity are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, the idea of “being ready” to progress from friendships to romantic and sexual relations undermines the value of platonic relationships, which are integral to our community."

i'm going to move on to one more point, because i know if i don't, i'll get SO many alastor allo-pologist authors whining and screaming about how ace people can have sex too

and yes, here's the thing: asexual people can have sex, can want to have sex, can be sex positive... but that doesn't change the fact that to be not-asexual (or allosexual, if you'd like to use proper terms), you have to be sexually attracted or experience sexual attraction - WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING A LIBIDO, AND ITS NOT SOMETHING ACE PEOPLE CAN DO/HAVE.

what ace people can have:

a libido

sex

sexual arousal

sex drive

kinks

a partner they're not necessarily sexually attracted to, but trust to have sex with them anyways

what ace people can't have (unless they're not actually ace and are instead allosexual):

sexual attraction to someone

wanting to have sex with a specific person because of this attraction (a partner, celebrity, people they find explicitly attractive)

still confused? don't be!

here's a post where i better explain the difference between sexual attraction vs sexual drive and what that means for ace people

to close this out, im going to attempt to summarize why im so pissed about this.

alastor is canonically asexual.

he may be sex negative, sex neutral, or sex positive; we don't know, but this is fandom and we're allowed to headcanon him however we wish - we can even headcanon him as not asexual!

which is great, yea, but when the ace character is the fan favorite...

people constantly and consistently write alastor as "ace".

which would be GREAT! if they ever did it correctly.

here's what i see most often. instead of headcanoning him as not asexual, they've heard something about how ace people can have sex anyways!

so for woke points, they slap their alastor ship/sex fics with the "asexual character" tag, and write alastor in one of two ways

uwu baby "ive never said a bad word in my life and i dont understand how the world works" asexual

allosexual, but call him ace anyways

both of those are aphobic. i have yet to come across ONE fic where alastor's asexuality (negative, neutral, or positive) is written, and labeled, CORRECTLY.

you know, it actually hurts MORE when he's written as "ace (actually allo)" than it does if people just headcanon him as not asexual.

alastor is a successful serial killer. he has spent decades in hell.

ALASTOR IS A SUCCESSFUL SERIAL KILLER. HE HAS SPENT DECADES IN HELL.

and you cowards are going to write him as inexperienced, ""innocent"", sexually uneducated?? i think the fuck NOT.

NOT ONLY THAT.

alastor lived through the roaring 20s. the flapper movement. the harlem renaissance. AND the sexual revolution of the 1920s. HE LIVED THROUGH ALL OF THAT. and you're going to act like he doesn't know what sex is?? we even KNOW he lived through all that because he says it himself, "i havent been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929", and 1929 was the end of all those movements and the beginning of the great depression - and then alastor died in 1933 after living a successful serial killer life in louisiana.

tell me again, why wouldn't alastor know what sex is or how it works? and if you can't, THEN STOP WRITING HIM LIKE THAT.

please please PLEASE educate yourself before you write an asexual character. ESPECIALLY if you're going to write them with a libido, and actually ACTING on that libido.

thank you.

sincerely, an exhausted sex positive asexual.

[greenspunkgnostic]

{{under a readmore bc i dont like to talk dramatic stuff but TL;DR: me at some recent follows!!}}

{{alright im getting kind of confused by some of the followers ive gotten lately like. this blog is a homesmut roleplay blog run by a very tired and anxious lesbian transwoman. sometimes i do food/tummy/chub related kinks, sure. but i also do soft lesbian romantic smutting, i do strange tf and growth related kinks, i do a lot here and the only really intended audience is like... other people in the rpc who want to read and interact with it. in the past couple days ive gotten followed by: multiple real-life feeder and feedee blogs, most run by cisdudes, some of whom tried to mack on me in DMs despite my being a lesbian; a racist pro-nra anticommunist covid-truthing right-winger with a bursting kink; and of course multiple spam blogs. where are all yall coming from? is this because of that kink ask-meme I made years ago and then had to promptly delete bc human-pet-guy found it and reblogged it and i got a lot of gross shamers and chasers alike following me then?? just to let yall know im boutta start blocking people who dont look like roleplay blogs or at least decent enough people on sight.}}