#i dont mind the leeching but i think it would have made a more interesting choice if it feed off peoples regular energy you know what i mea

[borderlandsmostwanted]

I think the twins had the potential to be the best borderlands antagonists if they were handled properly. Like if gearbox pulled more from reality it could have been a really interesting concept about parasocial relationships, the dangers of blurring the lines between online and reality, and how idolization can turn someone into a faux god

[azulpitlane]

vicious I ln4

pairing: lando norris x reader, a little of charles leclerc x reader🫣 summary: lando's fans always attack you yet he does nothing to defend you, inspired by vicious by sabrina carpenter notes: if youre the anon that requested this sorry it took so long lol! but you were so sweet ty masterlist, part two

yourusername

liked by maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc and 1,829,392 others

yourusername lil getaway

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user wait is she dating lando??

user there's been rumors of them dating for months but neither of them have confirmed user hopefully not lol

user i had no idea she went on this trip

user yeah cause lando never posts her or even likes her posts lmfaoaofda

user am i the only one that finds her annoying...

user nooo everyone else does lol shes always leeching off lando

yourbff ur perfect babe liked by yourusername

user pls dont let this be a hard launch🧎‍♀️lando get UP

user of course she has to post lando🤣she needs him for the likes

maxfewtrell spent more time on the ground than actually skiing

yourusername SHHHH it was my first time

user why are all these comments about lando?? im only looking at her😍

f1gossip

302,837 likes

f1gossip Y/n Y/l/n spotted in Bali celebrating New Years at Martin Garrix's show, possibly with Lando Norris. The two have sparked dating rumors for a few months now but no confirmation has been made from either of them.

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user we might have to start accepting that theyre dating☹️

user I REFUSE

user wait im new to the fandom, whys everyone hating on y/n i love her music...

user shes always posting lando for attention and he clearly has no interest in her, he doesnt even like her posts user plus his ex >>>>>>> y/n

user she doesnt deserve him, he needs someone lowkey and y/n is such an attention whore

user not surprised shes there, always leeching on him

user right like girl give him space, he aint yours

user im a y/n defender idgaf. everyone in these comments are just jealous liked by yourbff

user yikes... user defending someone who needs a man to stay relevant lol ok

user i miss luisinha😭

user im convinced theyre still dating and shes using lando for pr

y/n hey lan, i safely made it back to the hotel

lando 👍

y/n i still dont understand why you wanted me to leave early though, its not even midnight :(

lando y/n, we talked about this. there was lots of paparazzi there and if they saw us together on midnight they would think we're dating

y/n we ARE dating... why are you acting like we arent?

lando yk what i meant im just trying to protect you from the craziness that comes from dating me baby

y/n im already getting hate, hows hiding me any different?

lando lets just not do this tn. yk how much worse its gonna get it if we confirm anything listen i love you, isnt that enough?

y/n yeah, ily too

lando ill see you later tn❤️

lando baby where are you? come on it was a drunk mistake, yk i only love you it was just martins friend, you know her

y/n oh the girl you told me not to worry about?

lando it didnt mean anything why are you acting like this?

y/n because you fucking cheated. im leaving and im moving out of the apartment

lando please dont, im sorry baby i love you

y/n you say you love me but you can never prove it you hid me away for a whole year, was it so you could hook up with other girls?

lando of course not wth but since there's clearly no trust in this relationship maybe we should end it i wish you the best y/n read

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pietrapilao and 3,295,203 others

yourusername new year same me, wasnt ever the problem

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yourbff YES WIFEY liked by yourusername

user she unfollowed lando omg.

user WAR IS OVERRRR

pietrapilao out of sight out of mind🧘‍♀️ liked by yourusername

user is this about lando omg...

luisinhaoliveira99 😍😍 liked by yourusername

user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? user WHEN DID THEY MEET??? user I NEED THE TEA RNNNNNN

charles_leclerc 🖤

user OH?

user what is going on in these comments omg??

user shes finally realized lando will never date a girl like her

user hahaha fr she finally deleted all her posts with him user probably gonna go for piastri now🤣

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,294,234 others

yourusername took some time off music but dont worry, im back and ready to prove i dont need anybody to stay successful

vicious is out now💌

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user OH NOWWW LANDO LIKES HER POST

yourbff sooo back baby

user this has to be about lando...

user the lyrics are heartbreaking omg

user you all owe her a big apology for the way you treated her

charles_leclerc you look good in red this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc love it! this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc congrats on the new song!!

taylorswift 💌❤️

user yall better not start switching up!! if you were hating on her, stay away

user are we just going to ignore charles' deleted comments??

user bro was NERVOUS

user we dont know if this is about lando!! they were just friends

user you toxic lando fans need to stay away🙄 she was never seen with anyone else this past year so its clearly about him. hes not some saint you paint him out to be user exactly!! you guys are acting like you know him

user her shirt saying loyal🫣thats gotta be a diss

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix and 630,402 others

landonorris pretty vicious life im living rn

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user the caption??? the hard launch??? oh thats not-

maxfewtrell bro. no.

user his own best friend doesnt approve of his behavior😬

user this winter break drama is something else

user lando i cant keep defending you. why would you caption it this.

user IS THAT NEW YEARS KISS GIRL ON THE THIRD SLIDE???

user yess i found her @ shes martin garrix's friend and she was at that party

user anyone else notice luisa unfollowed him??

user she chose her side HAAHAH user pretty ironic cause so many fans were comparing y/n to her and now theyre friends🤣

user whys everyone mad?? its his private life why do you guys care

user oh so now you guys are giving him privacy?? but when he was rumored to be with y/n you were hating...the hypocrisy

yourbff alexa play obsessed by mariah carey🥱

user OOP user the girls are fightingggg

user not even a y/n fan but this was a bit unnecessary...

user "you dont feel remorse, you dont feel the effects" 🫠

f1gossip

240,520 likes

f1gossip Despite hard launching their relationship just one week ago, Lando's new girlfriend has been spotted getting cozy with a different guy! The leaked pictures have already caused for her to go private on all social medias😬

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user karma is A GOD

user i know y/n is having a good day today

user omfg poor lando :(

user womp womp

user i bet he is regretting his decisions rn😭

user y/n nation won today, ln4 nation taking L after L

user we cant catch a break😩

user WHAT IS GOING ON WITH LANDO RN

user craziest winter break yet jeez

Instagram Messages

charles_leclerc hey y/n! i know we havent spoken much but ive seen how lando treated you the few times you were at races and i apologize for never speaking on it i just wanted to tell you you're a great person and your music is so amazing if you ever need anything please just shoot me a text!

landonorris y/n you blocked my number? im sorry about everything baby can we please just talk?

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell and 4,204,214 others

yourusername im soooo sorry for your loss😊

my new single feather is out now!! special thanks to @charles_leclerc for helping me out in the music video, had so much making it <3

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user this mv was so hot omg

user I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS BUT I LOVE

user i know a certain someone is FUMING

luisinhaoliveira99 on repeat already!!

yourusername 💋💋 user im convinced luisa reached out after she saw all the comparisons with her and y/n and they became besties user wait that makes so much sense

user f1 twitter is going insane rn

user Y/N NATION KEEPS WINNING

pietra.pilao AHH youre so talented bby liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc had the best time on set with you❤️

yourusername ❤️ user i ship it........

user i want them both

user ofc now shes going for another driver🙄

user oh you guys are OBSESSED with her, get a job user y/n still has them mad LOL

user l**** would never agree to anything like this

user im literally never getting over this, ive watched it 5 times in a row already

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell and 940,240 others

landonorris a toast to my real friends

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user if this is a charles sneak diss i will cry

user we got carlando content....but at what price

user oh he definitely got blocked by y/n😭

user dw we're on your side lando

user who is we?

user just take the L and move on bro

user the way 2 songs got everyone to switch up on lando HAHA

user not just that but his shady posts too

charles_leclerc posted a story

Replies

user the girls are OFFICIALLY fighting oh gosh

user next season is going to be interesting...

user my roman empire

user IS THIS A HARD LAUNCH???

user what is happening.

user PARENTS

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Do you write for Chenya and Neige? :3 if so, can I request Chenya and Neige chasing after/trying to court their s/o? Like s/o is very tsun and acts like they don't like them but cat boy and snow white are persistent 👀 Hit me while listening to Suki kirai hahaIf you dont, then Rook and Floyd instead please! ❤

(For now since there’s so little on him I don’t do Neige but I can do the other three!)

Che’nya: 

Che’nya thinks it’s funny that you’re so resistant to his charms, the cat puns likely not helping, but he wouldn’t want to falsely advertise who he is as a person. His eyes seem to glow with mischief each time he comes to bother you, prodding at you, suddenly appearing out of nowhere, joking that you had practically summoned him as you were most certainly thinking about him. If you ever said outright ‘no, get away!’ then he would give up in a heartbeat but you had yet to say something with such finality so he remained dedicated to his cause. 

Floyd Leech: 

Floyd thinks the whole ‘playing hard to get’ thing is annoying but in the end, it does manage to keep his interest in you peaked as you don’t make it easy for him. He’s a little pouty if you don’t give him some type of sign that you returned his affections but he doesn’t mind a little cat and mouse chase, telling you with a pointed grin that you’ll never know when he’s really about to pounce until it’s far too late. This is ominous but Floyd’s intentions with you are pure, genuinely caring about you and wanting you to feel the same for him. 

Rook Hunt: 

The chase is the most exciting part, no? Rook respected that you knew you worth and made him work hard to earn your heart, he wouldn’t have it any other way if he was being honest. Difficult people had always been his favorite type thus you were no different and even if you pushed him away, he could see with certain reactions to his words and how you didn’t deny you enjoyed being around him that you truly enjoyed his attention deep down. There’d come a point where he might tire of the chase and want a little more commitment but he couldn’t see that happening any time soon. 

[merakiui]

C6?? wow, that's so impressive ヘ（。□°）ヘ ... i hope to be luckier with constellations on the future... and yeahh go get the c3!!

someday...standard banner pulls are hard to get (٥↼_↼) let's hope we will get some sort of rate up in the future for the starter characters.... (omg c2 amber...lucky...:heart_eyes:)

that childe-lasagna comparison made me chuckle, but you're right;; he's such a scary character because of all these layers...

ahaha, i guess we all have our own gemstones troubles <//3

ahhh that's definitely fair!! that kind of chr isnt really my type, but i like how smooth and classy he is. ive seen bits of informations about him, and his benevolent 'facade' and what not... it's gonna be a pleasure to interact with him (☆▽☆) (i did not know about the eel henchmen though omg???)

lol since i tend to be a "love at first sight" kind of person, it just made my love for him stronger; i like that he doesn't mind speaking his thoughts, even if he ends up insulting others and that he stands up for himself (๑♡⌓♡๑) im totally gonna consume and make content of him..

i bet it will be!! and hehe i'm definitely gonna try my best to make it look pretty for you to enjoy!!

thank you omg!!!!! you have extremely good taste too!! ^^ heartslabyul's just so cool, and i don't know much about the octavinelle dorm, but the characters there are apparently really intelligent, and i can't wait to see more about them..

nooo i haven't, but ive heard of it, and it seems short enough that im planning on binging it to give you my thoughts on it, since you recommend it!! (◕ᴗ◕✿) ahh i feel the same. actually he totally reminded me of scaramouche. that's the kind of thing that makes my brain go :D and all the little lights in there are all turning on. and thank you!! i'll probably be working on that fic to start improving my writing (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

omg there is a mafumafu nendoroid too? in missing out on soooo much TT i hope we'll both be luckier in getting these later....

(i get it!! the savanaclaw students dont really pique my interest, but leona looks cool enough!! and they're really cozy/calming places, mostro lounge is also one of my favorites :P i assume ramshackle dorm will get a lil fix-up, and i feel like it's gonna climb in my list! i was surprised the first time i saw the name, too, cause my player name is ram haha)

by the way, do you have thoughts about good old grim?

Ningguang’s c6 was the result of wishing on Childe’s and Xiao’s banners! I hope to build her one day! Good luck with getting constellations! I’m sure you’ll get lucky soon!

Omg it would be so nice to get the starter characters’ constellations with ease. orz If only it wasn’t so difficult. Amber’s c2 is really useful, though! I like being able to explode her Baron Bunny when I hit its feet! It’s really fun.

Azul and the Leech brothers are slowly growing on me!! They’re really interesting and I like how Floyd and Jade complement each other. Although it makes sense since they’re twins hehe. They’re really tall, too. :O But I like their personalities and the aesthetic of their dorm a lot!! Floyd is perfect yandere material.

Ace has such a strong personality! I like the fact that he will freely speak his mind, even if it gets him in trouble. When he’s paired with Deuce, their chemistry is so funny. I can see why you like him! Even if some of his words can come across as mean, he seems genuine and very fun to be around.

Hehe!! >:D our taste in the dorms is too good! As much as I love all of the dorms and how unique they are, Heartslabyul just hits different. But it makes sense that I’d enjoy it so much because I like Alice in Wonderland. ^0^ and I’m excited to meet the Octavinelle trio! I wonder what will be in store for the mc, Grim, and Adeuce…

Omg if you do watch it, please tell me if you enjoy it! I found it to be a very silly, yet enjoyable anime. Everyone sparkles in it!! They’re very colorful and bright.

Riddle and Scaramouche… They are both unbearable yans, but I think Scaramouche would be a little more unbearable than Riddle. Although they’re both scary and overbearing in their own ways! Omg keep me updated on how the fic is coming along!! I’d love to read it if you ever post it anywhere. ( ´ ▽ ` )

Yes!! I forgot when exactly the pre-order sale was, but as soon as I heard of it I ordered so fast. My pay had come in for that time period, too, so it really worked out. T_T Mafu in nendoroid form is too precious! I hope other utaite will get nendoroids as well! I’d love to have a Soraru nendoroid to complete the unit. <3 Hopefully you can get Mafu one of these days!!!!

(The Savanaclaw dorm has a neat atmosphere. Leona’s character interests me! I’m currently on book two, so I’m really getting to know him now. And of course I like Ruggie and Jack! It’s hard to dislike any of the characters. T-T I love all of them. Omg and the Mostro Lounge!! I would visit often if it was a real place. The design is just so pretty! And the Ramshackle Dorm has the potential to be very cozy once it’s properly fixed up!)

Grim thoughts!!! Even though he gets the mc into all sorts of trouble, he’s very likable. I’m happy he accompanies us and is living with us in the dorm. I feel like it’s good to have a friendly company when you’re trying to find your way in a new place. ( ˘ω˘ ) Also, he’s the type to accept food bribes so if one of the yans needed to separate the two of you all they’d really need to do is give him enough tuna and other good foods and he’s off to have his feast and then a nap! I think he would feel a little worry for the darling if he had any suspicions about their relationship with the yan or if the yan was stalking them, but he probably wouldn’t think much of it and would move on if it didn’t seem significant. ^^;;; But what are your thoughts on Grim?

[avellanasmentalhealth]

My brothers being absolutely absurd. Whenever I ask him for help or to borrow his things, he always refuses without conditions. So when he asked for the hulu information just now, after calling me 3 times in jest meer seconds after the other, I said I would give it to him for 5$. All the TVs in the house and the switch already have it set up so it's not like he cant use it at all, but he threw a fuss.he said I owe him for the 4 times he took my laundry out of the wash because I would have been yelled at otherwise. But I never asked him to do that ever, he is always adding conditions to any nice thing he does. He has grew to hate the game catan because it is the only game I'm willing to play. He says mom and dad give me special treatment. I always manage to find a way to cut corners around them, and I think I just realized why

In my mind theres a devil on my shoulder compelling me to believe I am selfish and worthless for cutting thesecorners. That I am cheating life and being unfair, but I do them anyways and for a while I wasnt quite sure how I could manage to continue suffering from that guilt of cutting corners when I was already usless. When I already needed to prove that I was not a burden or a waste. For a long time I thought that allowing myself to continue cutting these corners was a very bad trait that I had inherited from mom. I worried for so long that I would end up just like my mom because I was almost constantly finding corners to cut - but having this conversation with my brother made me consider that mabey I actively seek put these corners to cut so I can make my life just a little bit easier and bearable.

My brother is constantly trying to bennifer from every 'nice' thing he does, and is a literal bully to me - hes the reason I didnt realize I was getting bullied in school for 12 years; I thought it was normal because of him. Then theres my mom who constantly berates my feelings and interests - even some of my brothers interests too. Both my parents also put a good amount of pressure on me constantly. Get nothing lower than a 80% in school, dont spend money on things that Arent a necessity (which they bought all of ao I could not spend any money), graduate college by this time and take a full 12 credits each term, dont openly express how much you like things like anime and the fact that you are lgbt+, dont do this dont do that do it this exact way or else you are worthless and will get nowhere in life.

Mabey my constantly seeking corners to cut was my way of sort of alleviating all that stress, like some sort of trauma responce. But I cant decide if it's a valid trauma responce type thing or if I really am selfish and just as terrible as my mother. The devil compels me to hate myself, and I dont know how to stop listening. Because the more I favor the trauma responce possibility, the more my family fights back and fuels the devil, proving it to be right all along. I am usless. Worthless. Selfish. Cant do anything myself. I'm a burden who constantly looks for ways to leech off others. I'll never make it in the real world and I dont deserve to live. But will I stop cutting corners when I move out?

[alitaimagines]

“so i made my tinder available to the dudes in Germany and holy SHIT, how come no one ever told me they were so hot there???? one of yall didn’t message me and let me know.”  

character: ludwig beilschmidt / germany

fandom: hetalia 

song recommendation: hold up - beyonce 

You looked at Alfred betrayed. A girl was sprawled on his bed with the two of them only noticing you when your bags hit the floor. The blond whipped his head around and his face contorted to one of mortification.

"Alfred," You whispered, "Alfred, what did you do?" you asked mortified.

The girl laid in bed not saying a word. You were only gone for a world conference and Alfred threw the three year relationship away just because he didn't see you for two weeks. 

You immediately picked up your bags again and went back towards the door. Alfred quickly ran out of bed and tumbled down the stairs. You weren't fast enough considering you were carrying the luggage you had.

"Let me explain," Alfred exclaimed as he tried to grab your wrist. You didn't let him speak nor did you let him grab your wrist, "Explain what? That you cheated on me? That you decided to fuck another girl all because I was gone for two weeks? You can say anything right now and I won't believe a word."

Alfred tried to say something but nothing came out, "If I knew that you were just waiting for me to leave, you could have broken up with me a long time ago," Alfred grabbed your wrist again, "I didn't mean to cheat! I got drunk and it just happened," he tried explaining.

You gave the boy a laugh, "Alfred, you cheated on me. Imagine if you had gone to a world conference, came back, and seen me in bed with some random person. Better yet someone like Arthur, Gilbert, or Matthias?"

Alfred knew you had a point but not only did you have a point, he would have been livid beyond belief if he caught you doing the same thing. You didn't give Alfred another word as you called an Uber. You slammed the door shut and knew you just had to get as far away from Alfred as possible. You managed to book a hotel and called anyone willing to listen.

After you explained everything to Liz, she was ready to fly to the states, and kill Alfred right there. She knew that you weren't necessarily close to Alfred in a political sense but you were tied to him in a few political trades.

"What are you going to tell your boss?" Liz asked as she tried to tread lightly on what she told you, "Yeah, he didn't mind it. As long as our trades remain in tact, I'm allowed to do whatever I please. This might be a little over board but do you mind if I visit you for a few days? I need to get away from Alfred and I could use a vacation."

Liz immediately screamed out yes, "Of course. Book the flight now! We can meet up, go out and have fun. Roderich has been getting on my last nerves lately so please!"

You smiled as you finally wiped the final tears that had fell, "I'll see you soon. Once I get back from vacation, I'm going to have to find a new house, new everything."

"And that's a problem that you'll deal with later. For now, you're coming over and forgetting everything that just happened," Liz exclaimed, "I'll see you in a few days! Don't forget to bring cute clothes!"

Liz hung up the phone and you immediately started to look for flights. You were hoping on a flight the following morning. You didn't even want to be the same state as Alfred. He was calling, texting, messaging you, everything that was used to contact someone, he used. You ignored the messages, the calls, and realized that you would have to get a new number once you got back.

-

You got to Liz's house early in the morning. After she welcomed you inside, she escorted you to one of the many guest bedrooms and let you sleep until you woke back up refreshed. She hadn't told anyone you were coming over so it came off as a surprise to Roderich when he seen you.

"Did you come to just visit or?" He asked as he felt Liz kick him underneath the table. You gave her a smile realizing there was no reason to beat around the bush, "No, not really. Alfred and I broke up and I needed to get away."

Roderich gave you an 'I'm sorry' look as he stood up from the table. Shortly after, you heard the loud mouthed Prussian slamming Roderich's door open, "Alfred cheated on you? With who! What's their name? Was she another country?" Liz grabbed the nearest thing to her and whipped it at him, "Gilbert, enough. Just shut up for once," Gilbert did as he was told.

"Let's go. I'm sure you want to get out and actually do stuff. We're all planning on going to drinking later so for now, we can go to all the shops I've been dying to go to," Liz said as she kicked Gilbert once more, "I just need to use the bathroom."

You nodded, "I'll wait for you outside. The small breeze feels nice." Liz went to the bathroom as you made your way outside. Once you got outside, you realized that Germany was sitting on Liz's bench.

"Hey Ludwig!" You said as you finally got his attention, "What are the Germans doing on this end of town?" Germany shrugged, "Gil wanted to come and bug Austria for a bit. What are you doing here? You're usually with the Western countries."

You sighed, "Alfred and I broke up. I wasn't really in the mood to be around him so Liz invited me to visit her for a few days," Ludwig gave you the same expression Roderich did. 

You couldn't lie, Ludwig was attractive. Extremely attractive. He wasn't exactly your type. The few nations you did date, they were exactly like Alfred in terms of personality. Ludwig was completely out of your dating range, "We're all going out drinking later so if Gilbert is planning to go, you should come with."

"I'll see." Was all he managed to say as Liz walked out of the house, "I'll see you later, I guess."

You nodded as Liz ushered you to the car.

-

The night finally fell as the group of nations made their way to the bar. You weren't necessarily dressed in something fancy or cute but considering you weren't planning on seeing Alfred until you got back, you didn't have the chance to grab anything cute or sexy for that matter.

"So, this is the time to get drunk, bring a guy back home and to see you walk out in the kitchen in the walk of shame," Liz said as she tried to hype you up, "If Alfred did it, you're just as allowed to do it yourself!"

You knew Liz had a point. While the two of you just broke up and you were still very much in love with Alfred, you knew that it wouldn't hurt to finally have fun. Alfred technically wasn't allowed to drink in the states so going out to clubs or bars wasn't an option nor a date idea.

"I guess. Just dont expect me to leech onto someone tonight. I came here to have fun and drink with all of you," Liz gave you a look before she started laughing, "Yeah right! I seen the way Germany looked at you. The two of you would look great together!"

Before you could answer, Roderich, Gilbert, and Ludwig finally found the both of you. All of them were in their uniforms which wasn't out of the usual but you felt a bit self aware as you and Liz were the only ones dressed up.

"What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling my name? I think so!" You exclaimed as Gilbert couldn't help but laugh at your enthusiasm to drink, "Come on Liz, I already see the bottle and it's looking at me."

You grabbed Liz by the wrist and ordered the entire bottle of Jack Daniels. Liz was impressed. She never took you as someone to drink darker liquors but considering you hardly drank, no one besides the allies ever seen your drinking potential. You walked back to the table and slapped the bottle in the middle.

"To friends and break ups!" You said as you poured everyone a shot. They all grabbed the tiny glass as they cringed at the bitterness, "Oh come on! I know you Europeans drink more than beer!"

Gilbert laughed, "That's because you hang out with those allies. If you would've been around us more, you'd know we can out drink any of you!" You gave him a look as you grabbed the two shot glasses and filled them to the top, "We both drink until it hits the middle of the bottle and after that, two mug of beers, each."

Gilbert took on your bet as the two of you downed the second shot. Liz and Roderich looked at you in disappointment as Ludwig tried to talk Gilbert out of it. You poured the third shot and slid it to him as he tried to drink it without spitting it back up. You poured your fourth shot and started to pour Gilbert's as he looked slightly red in the face.

"Aw, Gil! Don't tell me you feel the buzz yet," Gilbert shook his head no as he gulped down the fourth shot. Although he tried to drink it, he felt the burning sensation in the throat, "No fair. We stop here and we drink my preference of beer now!"

You allowed him to get the beer he so dearly needed and soon enough, he came back with eight different mugs of beer. Four went to each of you and you cheered with him before you started chugging them back. You could tell the disappoint from Liz and Roderich soon faded into interest. Ludwig on the other hand looked at you like he never looked at any girl before. He never met someone who was able to handle their alcohol like you did.

"And done!" You said with a bit of a slur at the end. "Am I tipsy? Yes. Am I drunk? Not yet but that isn't stopping me!" You looked at Gilbert who looked like he was on the verge of passing out, "Come on Gil! Let's get some more!"

Just as you were about to grab the Prussian, Liz took your hand, "I need you to take one drink of water. One glass and you're free," You gave Liz a pouty face before you took the glass of water from her hand and chugged it down, "Okay! Let's go!" Just as you stood up, you felt yourself tripping.

"Let's go," Ludwig sighed as he grabbed you by the shoulder and directed you to the bar. You ordered four mugs of beer, two for you and two for Ludwig. You hadn't seen him drink a single mug of beer.

"Oh come on, Lud! You haven't drank any!" You said as you handed him one. He was hesitant on drinking it but before he realized what you were doing, you shoved the beer once more and he finally gave in.

That was your tipping point. You slowly felt the drunk feeling overcoming. You were able to tell that Ludwig wasn't as tolerant to alcohol like Gilbert was but that didn't stop you from continuing to drink with the other German.  

You heard the starting beat to 'Edge of Seventeen' by Stevie Nicks playing in the back, "JUST LIKE THE WHITE WING DOVE, SINGS A SONG THAT'S ACTUALLY SINGING!" You sang into the salt shaker on the table. "Come on! I love this song!" You grabbed Liz by the wrist and dragged her onto the dance floor.

Liz wasn't one for dancing but considering how drunk you were, she wasn't planning on letting this opportunity go to waste. Just as the music switched, you heard 'Hold Up' by Beyonce playing. Liz turned to you as she seen the small tears hitting your eyes. She had never seen your emotions change so quickly.

"Can't you see that there's no other man above you? What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you. Hold up, they don't love you like I love you."

Not only had Liz seen your tears pricking your, she heard the raw emotion in your voice.

"How did it come down to this? Scrolling through your call list, I don't want to lose my pride but Ima fuck me up a bitch. Know that I kept it sexy, know that I kept it fun, there's something thats missing, maybe my head for one."

Liz grabbed your hand as she took you back to the table. Gilbert was getting a kick out of the entire fiasco as Liz continued to hear your horrible rendition of such a great song.

"What did Alfred do to her?" Ludwig asked Roderich as he seen your face with tear stains, "He must've done something horrible for her to feel the way that she does."

Roderich didn't know if it was his place to tell your business but considering you were a: too drunk to care and b: he knew the story, he figured he didn't have anything to lose. Roderich also didn't have any idea as to why Ludwig cared about the breakup considering he hardly butted his head into someone else's business.

"She found Alfred sleeping with another girl the day when she got home from a world conference," Roderich explained, "She nearly lost her mind and all Alfred said was that the reason why he slept with another girl was because he got drunk."

Ludwig was taken by surprise. He would have never expected someone like Alfred to do such a thing like cheat on someone.

"Wow." Was all Ludwig managed to say as he continued to watch you sing.

-

You woke up the next morning with a massive headache. You had no recollection of what happened the night before but before you could have a second though, you felt a giant weight next to you.

You whipped your head to see who it was. You could have expected it to be Gilbert considering he was the one you were drinking with all night but you noticed the messy blond hair next to you. There was no way you slept with Ludwig.

"WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD!" You heard Gilbert's voice scream as he walked into the room. You growled as you felt Ludwig wake up in a jump, "HOLY SHIT, WEST! YOU ACTUALLY SLEPT WITH SOMEONE!" You wanted to cover your head in shame as Roderich and Liz ran into the room.

"Holy crap! Good for you, ( your name )!" Liz said enthusiastically as she gave you a thumbs up. Roderich gave a deep sigh as he walked out of the room, "I had no idea the two of you landed in bed together!"

You threw a pillow at both Gilbert and Liz as they got the hint you were sending them, "Ludwig, I'm so sorry. I have no idea what happened last night and considering you look like you're just as hungover as I am, it doesn't look like you have any idea either."

Ludwig laughed, "I don't know either. I mean, clearly something happened if you're in my t-shirt and I'm completely undressed," You laughed as you tugged Ludwig's shirt to cover you up some more. "I don't regret it. Whatever happened, happened but I'm dying of thirst and I'm sure you are too."

Ludwig followed you to the kitchen as you seen a small note on the table.

"Gilbert left and so did we. Roderich and I went on a lunch date so there's food in the fridge, I doubt you want food but it's there if you want it."

"They went on a date and your brother left," You explained as you handed the German the note, "Now after this, I'm going back to bed and hopefully I don't throw up any of the Powerade I just drank. Listen, I'm not saying that I don't like you but let's give this a try in a few months. I need time to get over Alfred but in a few months, we should go out on a date."

Ludwig was taken back. He wasn't exactly an expert in the romance area but he didn't have anything to lose.

"Sure!"

//

After your night rendezvous with Ludwig, you went back home and slowly started to fix yourself. You moved your things out of Alfred's place and slowly got accustomed to living on your own country again. It wasn't weird or out of the ordinary considering you traveled between the states and your country more times than you could count but now that you weren't together with Alfred, you started to reconnect with the country you represented.

Slowly and surely, you started to contact Ludwig again. He was still the shy man you slept with that night but you made sure that you took it slower than usual. You weren't looking to jump straight into a relationship but you weren't necessarily trying to lose Ludwig.

He took you out on a few dates in Germany as he showed you all the greatest sights in Berlin. You learned all about the history of Germany and vice versa.

You weren't necessarily trying to hide the fact that you were seeing Ludwig but once it got to the ears of a certain American, he was livid. Alfred wasn't expecting you to stay single forever but he wasn't exactly expecting you to be dating Ludwig of all countries.

//

You looked at yourself in the mirror before starting to fix Ludwig's tie. The two of you had to attend a gala that your bosses were making both of you attend. Going to galas or fancy dinners weren't exactly your cup of tea and you were able to tell that it wasn't Ludwig's either.

"Well, I think we clean up nice!" You mentioned to Ludwig as you wrapped your arm around his waist, "We should've color coordinated considering we're each others dates."

Ludwig dug into his dresser as he pulled out a tie that matched your dress, "I bought this one in case you mentioned that." You couldn't help but laugh. You took off the black tie and slipped on the lavender colored tie, "See, now we match."

The two of you made your way to the ballroom where the gala was being held. Countries were talking amongst each other as you noticed Liz, Roderich, Gilbert, Vasch, and Lilly talking to each other.

"Oh my god, you guys look so cute together!" Lilly squealed as she noticed the two of you holding hands. Liz nodded as she gave you a discreet wink. "I doubt any of you are drinking tonight considering the incident that happened the last time the two of you drank together."

You felt your face turn red as Lilly tried to figure out the incident, "Ludwig, I'm getting a glass of wine. Do you want anything?" He muttered a mug of beer as you made your way to the bar with Liz and Lilly.

"Have you seen Alfred?" Liz asked as she tried to look for the loud mouthed blond, "I heard he's coming but I haven't been able to spot him anywhere. I also heard that he found out about you and Ludwig."

You shrugged, "As if I care if he finds out or not." Before Liz could say anything, she seen something flashy on your middle finger. She quickly grabbed your hand and seen the small diamond band.

"EXCUSE ME? WHAT THE FUCK! EXPLAIN!" Liz screamed as she startled Lilly and got the attention of a few countries, "The two of you haven't been dating that long! What the hell is up with the ring!"

You sighed as you asked Lilly to excuse the two of you for a second. You grabbed Liz by her wrist and took her to a small corner. You weren't looking to have everyone find out about the small gift Ludwig had given you.

"Shut the hell up!" You whispered, "He just gave me this ring as a gift for our eight month anniversary. He didn't exactly give me a reason as to why he bought it but he did say that I could take it anyway I would like. I'm taking it as a promise ring and that's it! Now if you scream about this again, I will kick your ass."

Liz tried to contain her squeal, "That's so sweet! I never took Ludwig as the kind of man to give a girl a promise ring but it's so adorable! You look great with it on! Just wait for Alfred to find out! He's going to lose it!"

You rolled your eyes as you got back to the bar and grabbed the glass of wine and made your way to the group of Euro's. You noticed that Gilbert was with Matthias and Alfred. Doing what? You didn't exactly want to know.

"Bro, you suck!" Gilbert screamed at Alfred as he pointed over at you, "You let someone as hot as her get away! What is wrong with you?"

Alfred felt like decking Gilbert right there but he wasn't exactly trying to cause a scene, "Is that a ring?" Matthias asked as he noticed the flashy diamond on your middle finger, "He already gave her a promise ring?"

Gilbert nodded proudly, "West gave it to her last week. I had no idea until he told me about it this morning!"

Alfred didn't say a word. He was beyond words but considering he was the entire reason as to why the two of you broke up, he didn't have any reason to upset about it. He noticed the way the German had his arm protectively around your waist. You were leaning against him as he watched you take a couples photos with Roderich and Liz.

"You really are an idiot. She’s hot and now she's with my brother!" Gilbert said as he continued to rub it in Alfred’s face, "Now you get to see her happy and who knows, maybe she'll be a German relative soon!"

Gilbert intentionally sought out to rub it in Alfred’s face and the American knew it. Maybe it was payback, maybe it wasn’t. Whatever Gilbert’s intentions were, he knew Gilbert held a point. He was an idiot for cheating on you and to see you so loved up in the arms of another man really upset him but this was all his fault. Alfred messed it up for himself and he couldn’t justify trying to ruin what you had with one of his so called enemies. 

ALITA

[bahrlee]

Suck the blood from my Wound

Enter: Raph the Womf

🦇🦇🦇chapter 5: Impossible🦇🦇🦇

The next day, the three girls were reported as dead due to…. Throat related injuries. They didnt go into much detail as to not disgust or trigger their viewer's, they just mentioned the basics---they were found in the woods with their throats ripped out, bitemarks present---but still. It left him a little nauseous, and nervous. They were only in kindergarten, and here they were, viciously mangled buy someone in the woods during probably one of the happiest day of their lives. He tried to connect Dook too the crime, that would so obviously point to him, but there was just something so off about it in the first place. Were vampire fangs that strong enough to pull out a little girls trachea? Mitzi would definitely think so, in fact he remembered she said so.

   Even though it was still offputting, he didnt let that ruin his day. He needed to get his house back to its former glory since that weird night. He found it hard to go on with his day, however, since there was an unpleasantness in the air that couldnt be ignored. Everyone all day was looking over their shoulders, hugging themselves, holding their children close to them as they walked down the streets. He has never seen a mother walk so quickly from him, a man with long blonde hair wearing cargo shorts a a shirt with flamingos on it. They were scared of any man, he guessed, since men always seemed to be the killers. Even ones who look like theyd surfed since they were toddlers. Which reminded him that he needed to surf again soon. Ever since Fatz left, he never found the motivation to hop on a board for awhile. But for now, today's goal: paint over the scratches on the wall. He was so happy it was only the paint that chipped, no actually wall damage, because he didnt know how to fix something like that. He wasnt good at fixing things.

   The inside of the store was just as somber. Mothers pulling their kids from the toy isle when they usually let them explore it by themselves, the newspaper wrack was completely empty, things were just so different. It was only one murder, and everyone was losing it, like Ted Bundy was on the loose. And it was only one murder. Well, three, but it was all done at once. Who knows what would happen when or if another one happened? Who knows what would happen if they found out that a possible culprit was a vampire? That was too scary to think about, so he stopped and went to go get him some paint. He didnt even know what to do about the carpet yet. 

   Heck, what was he going to do about anything anymore since the possibilities seemed endless, now that there was a vampire loose through town.

🦇🦇🦇

    He stayed up late, but for the last couple days hes been staying up TOO late, trying to contemplate what he has learned. He just lived his life. Making a deal to become some sort of spy, getting himself involved in a rivalry between two different cryptids who treated it as though it were the civil war, except one of the sides wasnt even aware of what was happening and what the other was planned against them. 

   Just like he predicted, he didnt see him that much. For the first day, he once again had nothing to report to Mitzi. The next day, same thing. He hasn't seen him since their conversation at Roxys. She did return her part of the deal, providing the conversations you usually had with a friend. He even sat in the water with her, so she didnt have to be in such shallow places. That case if anyone walked by they wouldnt see the rest of her. They didnt get too deep, just stories, small talk, interesting things about being a sea monster and vice versa since even though she lived a double life she didnt exactly know too much, the normal stuff. She seemed a little upset he hasn't seen him, but it's not like he was seeking him out every single day. He wasnt a stalker. What a funny turn of events that would be though, if the HUMAN turned out to be the stalker instead of the vampire. That would be interesting. He hoped she didnt cut the deal off, and kept explaining to her why stalking is actually a bad thing, feeling shamefully desperate. But he couldnt help it, he had no friends.

   He crossed his fingers, however, that they would cross paths again, both to satisfy Mitzi, and to see him again. He was so torn, when he spotted him acrossed the room at a comedy club while out with Fatz, he didnt know if he should go up to him. 

🦇🦇🦇

   He preferred to sit in the back of everywhere, appearently. Maybe because it was so dark, and secluded, that he wouldnt be called out by the comic onstage at this particular place. Although it felt so out of place for him to be anywhere in town, or anywhere around town, really. Maybe theres this whole council of vampires, and hes on a mission right now given to him by them. Maybe he just liked to hang out at relatively dark places, or examine the nature of mortals. Or…. Maybe he was looking for his next victim, adult and in the next town this time, to mix it up a little.

   His shoes were glowing this time. Similar to the vintage boots he wore, but this time the stars and crescent moons lit up. That was enough to mesmerize him. 

   "Whatcha looking at there, Beach?" Fatz asked, noticing his glances.

   "Well obviously that boy over there." Esmeralda answered him instead of Beach. That was the thing with her, she answered all of Fatz' questions, even when directed to him, or somebody else. 

   "Hes a new guy. Met him at the movies once." Beach explained.

   "Guess we didnt have to order you food tonight then," Esmeralda quipped. "You got yourself a nice meal right over there."

   "Esme, I tried to flirt with him, okay? It's like flirting with Wednesday Addams child if she had a baby with the Willy Wonka from Tim Burtons awful adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." He angrily drank his coke. 

   "Maybe you're just a bad flirt, you know?" 

   "Oh be quiet, Esmeralda. Beach is fine. Hes charming!" Fatz retorted enthusiastically.

   "If you're so charming, go up to him. Say hi. Buy him a drink." Esmeralda advised.

   "He doesnt drink." Beach quickly reverbed.

   "Well now why doesnt he drink?"

   Because hes a vampire, future Mrs. Geronimo.

   "I dont know. I jus know hes not much for actually living in the moment you know, he just…." He turned and looked at him again, his head so obviously in the clouds. "....Kind of observes everything."

   "You always go for the types that just sit there and look pretty, dont you?" Fatz said. He always questioned his type. The very monotone, 'too cool for school' men who tended to be more introverted and less talkative, two opposites of Beach. He liked his conversations. He was one of the best people to converse with because he kept it going. But he always went for the guys who's social skills were a bit stale. At least that's what Fatz thought, the truth was hes been with men of all kinds, Fztz only saw the shy guys, who were much less sh the more you got to know them. Fatz just tended to hold onto first impressions a little longer than he should.

   "Shut up, quit acting like you know my type." He glowered.

   "Cant deny it, Beach." He shrugged.

   Some friend he was.

   Esmeralda checked the time on her phone. "Fatz, its 10."

   "Oh, what? Its 10 already?" He said.

   "Yeah! We gotta go Beach, we're sorry. We gotta get sleep so we catch our flight to Louisiana for my family reunion tomorrow." She said.

   A little mad that they were leaving, but understanding he had no control over it, he let them leave. He wasnt going to be too petty about it. Speak of Louisiana, however… he turned and saw Dook there, legs crossed, shows glowing---he still couldnt get over that, he wanted glowing shoes now---his eyes fixated on nothing.

   Now that he was alone, he could probably try to talk with him. Mustering up his courage, he stood up, forgetting how tall he was for a moment and feeling a bit clumsy, and walked over to him. He seemed to be really deep in his own mind, because when he said hello, he jumped.

   "Jesus christ!" He exclaimed. "What?!"

   He held up a hand and waved. "Hello."

   He exhaled loudly, giving him the stink eye, genuinely annoyed by his presence. "What the hell are you everywhere I go?" He spoke, putting emphasis on every word.

   "Just find it funny that we find each other everywhere."

   "No, you come up to me, say your shit, trying to get into my pants or whatever."

   These non-mortals sure had some big mouths on them. But he guessed if they cant even get along within their world, of course they dont put any care into their interactions with humans. Was this his life now? Getting yelled at by two overgrown leeches for the rest of his days?

   "No, I just came over here to say I like your shoes." He said. "You dont drink alcohol, but do you drink soda?" He recalled him drinking something at the movies.

   Dook pointed to the soda on the table. "Little too late for that, man."

   Dangit. 

   "Why are you so rude?" He asked him. "Why cant you just talk to me like a normal person without everything coming out of your mouth being a nasty comment? Why cant I just treat you nicely and be treated nicely back, huh?"

   Dook slightly smirked at him. "Ficety."

   Beach was a tad frustrated, but it only made him want to try harder. "No, you're ficety. I'm just trying to talk to you."

   "You a nice guy?"

   "No, I'm Beach."

   And he finally heard him legitimately laugh. He was surprised at how audacious it was, and how much it revealed about him---he was a pretty goofy person. He seemed to be one for jokes, and humor. "Oh my god, alright, you're pretty funny, you can stay I guess. Sit down."

   He obliged, feeling like he just achieved something impossible. 

   "So, Beach, if that's even you're real name, which I know it isnt, go ahead. Make this a speed date. Tell me a-a bit about yourself."

   "Um…. Well…. I like surfing, and writing---I was an english major, actually---"

   "Oh, interesting. Tell me something smart."

   His mind drew a blank.

   "Oh yes, wonderful. Did you uh, drop out or anything?"

   "No, finished all four years. First one in my family not to drop out to persue a career as a rockstar, actually." He babbled, just excited to be getting through to him in any way. 

   "Huh. Interesting. I never went to college." He stirred the straw in his soft drink, smiling modestly.

   "Did you drop out to become a rockstar?"

   He thought for a moment. "Eh, kinda just happened. My dad forced me to play in a band when I was a sophmore. Actually, uh, enjoyed it and decided to stick with it for awhile. After that, I sang with my sister for a bit, and then something happened, and now I'm here."

   "Huh." He knew what the thing was. He was immortalized. "Tell me about her."

   "She lives back home. Three kids. A bit older than me, that's why she already has three. School music teacher." He said.

   "Cool. I have a brother who's much older than me. Not as cool, kinda mean." He sighed.

   "Hm, not very close to anyone, are you? I always see you alone. Guess that's why you bother me a lot." 

   He shook his head. "Yeah, my one friend who was just here a moment ago left, and hes been drifting away a bit. Everyone else is a workmate or an acquaintance." 

   Dook pulled the sleeves to his shirt over his hands and placed them under head chin. He was so obsessed with the way he dressed he couldnt handle it. "No wonder you're up the new guys ass."

   Beach couldnt help be giggle. He was glad he was funny. 

   Dook reached over and grabbed one of those tiny pencils used to fill in Keno cards, and a napkin, and wrote something down. "Guess I'll amuse you for now." He slid it over to him. It was his number. 

   "Oh my god." He did it. It was out of pity, so obviously out of pity, but he got his number.

   And finally, the late night comedy club announced its next act, after a long while of radio silence. The emcee came on stage, everyone cheered, well except for Dook who just glared up at him---well not really glare, he just seemed to have a case of a resting tired face, which wasnt necessarily a bad thing, but it still looked funny---seemingly board of every comedy routines seen tonight.

   "Sorry for the delay everyone, we just had a minor difficulty with some of our guest comics tonight. But thankfully, one of them came prepared. Please everyone, give it up for Rolfe DeWolfe, and his no-so-friendly sidekick, little Earl Schmerle. 

   Once again everyone cheered accept Dook, who's eyes widened, a little stunned by his presence. The comedian, clad in a plaid vest and black undershirt, with a wacky voice and a yellow puppet on his hand, smiled and thanked the audience for being there.

   "I knew he was here." Dook murmured.

   "What---"

   "Beach." 

   "Yeah?" 

   He leaned down, and turned his shoes off. "Can we leave?"

   "Why?"

   His eyes were locked on the comedian in a strange, prey-like state. "Hes not that funny."

   It was very obvious it was not because of that reason, but of course he couldnt point it out. 

   He stood up slowly, creeping quietly (or as quietly one could walk in heels) through the dim room, as Rolfe and the puppet began their routine. Yes, Dook was actually correct, the routine was…. Meh. It made you smile, not laugh. But of course that wasnt the point if the whole thing going on right now, was it? He copied his moves, standing up and moving quietly, this time actually quiet because of the fact he was wearing actual shoes.

   Beach Bear copied him, slinking out of his seat and following him to the door. They slipped out, into the warm night. The way he just…. Stared at him. He was going to take note of that. If only he remembered the name of whomever was onstage. 

   "So um…. What are we doing now?" He asked him.

   "Ummm…. I dont really know." He laughed nervously.

   "What do you know about that person in there?" He asked. "Seemed a little more than 'hes not funny.'"

   He sighed. "You dont wanna know." He said.

   Beach had a few guesses.

   Dook shrugged and looked around, still a little alert. "We can just…."

   "Take a walk?" He guessed. 

   "I mean…. Why not?"

   The more time to get to know him.

🦇🦇🦇

   He dodged any personal questions, and the ones he did answer, he didnt go too deep into it. Simple, vague answers. No names of people, no small anecdotes, no detail. They did just meet anyways, of course he was valid for keeping most things for himself. Beach already knew things he was keeping from him anyways. He seemed a bit more anxious than usual, however, seeing that puppeteer onstage seemed to shake him a bit. Genuinely worried about how disoriented he seemed, he asked him if he were okay.

   "Yeah, I'm fine. If-if I go into it, itll just…" he trailed off.

   "Oh, okay. Just…. Making sure. You need to sit down or something?" 

   He shook his head. "I said I'm fine." He repeated. 

   "Like I said, just making sure." He sighed. 

   He hoped that not every moment between them would have some kind of stale silence between them. It was starting to get annoying at this point. 

 "Wait." Dook stopped, so he stopped, a little confused.

   Dook crouched down and turned back on his shoes. "There. Better." He smiled, as if those shoes were the source of his pride and joy. 

   "Whered you even get those shoes?" He asked him.

   "Goodwill."

   "Huh. Are they battery powered or something?"

   "Yeah. Batteries go in the heels." He said. 

   "You dress very cool."

   "Um…. Okay, uh, thanks I guess." He laughed modestly. "You dress like you play beer pong."

   He snorted, realizing it was entirely true. "But I'm serious. You're just… unapologetically bold in the way you dress. And I can tell you dress because you like it and not for attention, because you certainly dont seem like the type who likes all eyes on them." He explained. 

   "Well, yeah. Nobody can tell me what to wear, so…" he shrugged. "Many people think I'm a girl at first, but…. You know, whatever. I-I like it."

   "Same thing about the mullet?"

   He laughed again, covering his mouth shyly. "I mean…" 

   "It looks good on you though, not everyone can pull off a look like that."

   Dook shrugged, grabbing the long part of his hair. "Yeah. I guess."

   The streets were so serene when they were empty. Even though there was the abduction of three little girls who were found dead the next morning, and he might be standing next to the culprit, the night still felt so welcoming, and calm. Something about the street lights shining down on the sidewalk, the neon of the open signs in almost every window, the clearness of the night sky which he caught Dook glimpsing up at in awe once every few minutes. 

   "You like space?" He asked.

   "Yeah. When I was little I wanted to be an astronaut." He said. "When um… playing with the band I always said I was gonna play with them until I could go to space." He said. "Didn't happen, though."

   "Do you still wanna go there?"

   "I mean, yeah, it would be cool." 

   The way the stars glistened in his eyes as he looked up at them in complete amazement. 

   "I feel the same way about the sea. I wanted to go underwater, like, in a submarine, for my whole life, just to explore. Don't you think it's weird how we know our moon better than our sea?"

   He thought for a moment, looking a little hazed, maybe from the way the waning moon was shining down on them, distracting him from the real world. He seemed to be the type with an imagination. 

   "I can't believe every single one of those is a star up there. Every single one." Dook said. He began wiggling his fingers a bit in excitement. 

   He's never seen him impressed before. Maybe he should try and use space theme pick up lines to flirt, maybe then he'll notice him. But the only one he could think of was the classic your ass is out of this world joke, which he didn't think was a very cool one to throw his way. He might get punched in the face. He also was way too tired of thinking of something. These late night outings were really starting to get to him. It wasn't even that late out, compared to how late he usually stayed out.

   "How close were you to achieving your submarine dream?" He asked him.

   "I surf. That's about as close. I love it." He responded.

   "Ah. The closest I got was space camp as a kid." He ran his fingers through the bangs and his mullet.

   Beach put his hands in his pockets and kicked a rock into the road.

   "Didya try going into biology or something to get into the ocean?" He asked.

   "Oh no, my science grades were…. Not too good. I majored in english." He answered.

   "How old are you?" 

   "23." He said. "What about you?"

   Dook froze for a moment, thinking. Probably doing math in his head, which he probably wasn't very good at, from the way he snuck his fingers out to count. He didn't know why he was assuming so much from the little things, but he was.

   "21." He finally said.

   So he must've been 21 when he was turned into a vampire. And from the looks, it was in the 80s. Now he was wondering a lot. How did one even get turned into a vampire? He tried remembering back to Stoker's Dracula, Sookie Stackhouse, vampire chronicles, heck, even twilight. A bite? Excessive drinking of the blood? Canoodling with your partner, accidentally killing her, because vampires are apparently that strong (he hoped that wasn't the way, if anything that happened in twilight was true he'd probably run over to Stephanie Meyers house and drink HER blood)? All these questions he couldn't ask, because he didn't tell him. It was probably a very hard thing to tell in the first place. Mitzi was always incognito, and had a human end a close friendship with her once they found out about her secret, so he wasn't too surprised Dook was the same way. Mitzi was merely a teen, but Dook has been around for awhile---how many times was his heart broken by both partners and friends fearing him once they found out? 

   "So you're a drummer, right?" Beach asked. He couldn't be in his own head for too long.

   "Yeah?" He said.

   "Howd you get into drumming?"

   "Band. You know…. School band."

   "Huh, cool. I played Tenor sax."

   "So you like Rush and have a strong disliking towards cornets." He assumed.

   "Stereotypes, really?"

   He shrugged. "What? You know it's true."

   "Well then…. Since you're a percussionist I believe that you yell yeehaw any chance you get, have weak lungs, and have an affinity for Oingo Boingo."

   He looked to his side with a knowing smile. "I mean I do like Oingo Boingo---"

   "HA!"

   "What? You just proved my point!"

   They both started laughing, the feeling of their bond growing a bit stronger. 

   "What chair were you?" He asked.

   "Always like…. Second. Third. I'm not the best. And…. Lemme guess, you were first chair a-and got all the solos?"

   He shrugged. "We only had two in the top band, what can I say?" 

   He liked the constant laughter between them. It was a good sign, he believed. Laughter was an important step to any kind of relationship. If you couldn't see yourselves traveling the world as a comedic duo, what was the point? So his Hope's were set high, just as a love sick gay person should be. 

🦇🦇🦇

   When they walked back to the club (both of their cars were there, they couldn't just walk home), Dooks goodbye was surprisingly hasty. Maybe he didn't want to encounter that guy that was here earlier, in case he was still loitering about, because his eyes carried the same alertness they did at the moment he spotted him. But he had his number now, an all powerful thing that Mitzi would be very happy to hear. He went to his car, very proud of what he accomplished, happy he finally got through to him enough to get to know a little more. When he had his hand on the handle, however, he heard something… interesting. A struggle of a woman was what he could compare it most to. He heard a male voice, one that wasn't Dooks, saying something. Remembering Dooks quick exit off of centerstage, he was inclined to follow the sound. He followed it to the side of the building, where he could clearly hear a woman's muffled screams. He could also hear the words from the other, currently disembodied voice, urging on whomever had her pinned.

   "You want to starve, Dook? You can't just not feed for three months then go purge on woodland creatures for the next week!" The voice scolded. 

   Against the wall, he peaked over the corner, and saw the sight of Dook with a terrified blonde against the wall, fangs out, the pure look of struggle, and willpower in his face as he bit his lip, as to resist his urge to plunge them into her neck. The other dude was the comedy man, mister Ralph whats-his-name (man no wonder he was performing in a small comedy parlor in a small town in florida), was trying to egg him on to make the kill. Dook opened his mouth, obviously starving, but unwilling to bring harm upon the poor, unsuspecting patron, and turned away, dropping her to the ground. She shot up and scrambled away, probably scared for life. He turned back around the corner, hoping he wasn't spotted. 

   "Come on, Dook!" Comedian guy huffed at him. "Why can't you just be like every other vampire planet? Why do I have to force I yoh human blood?!"

   "I mean…. ED?" He responded, scared but able to respond in his usual way.

   "You were turned into a vampire to get rid of that." He groaned, tired, but seemingly used to his sass.

   "Well that didn't work, did it---" there was a thump against the wall.

   He turned to peak again. This time it was Dook against the wall. He had a hold of him with his shirt. He pulled out something in his pocket, and from closer examination, he made out the classic---a wooden stake, fit to kill any vampire with a stab to the heart. He lightly placed it against his chest, Dook visibly shaking, and struggling with all his might. 

   "You'll reap what you sow, Dook. If you don't follow orders, if you don't keep yourself alive for the better of your kind, you'll pay." He threatened.

   Dook brought up his leg and kicked his stomach, the comedian losing grip on him and falling back, the stake falling to the ground.

   "My kind is human, got it? I'm not doing anything for a vampire, or a werewolf, or-or for anyone, really!"

   "Was human, Dook. You're one of us now, and you have to accept it. You do the duties bestowed upon you, I wouldn't be on your tail all the time!" He got up.

   "Fuck you." He replied. The comedian screamed and threw his fists at him, only smacking against the brick as Dook flew out of the way. 

   "I can't believe I was assigned to you, my god!" He seethed. 

   "Then LEAVE!" He shouted.

   "I won't, because I'm not disobeying my orders! It's my job to keep people like you in check and I'm sticking by it until the end of time, like what i'm supposed to do. I'm going to keep following you until you feed on humans, turn humans, and be grateful you died in our hands."

   They both stared at each other silently, eyes fixed on the other with intimidating adrenaline. 

   "If you don't, you're dead. And I'll make sure of it. I'll make sure you don't up and head out of town this time."

   "You wish."

   He grabbed him by the shirt again, and began pulling him to the front. 

   Terrified, he turned back around, eyes wide.

   Mitzi was gonna have a ball, hearing this.

[lesbianarcana]

Luceo non Uro - Chapter 9

Dies irae (day of wrath)

Relationships: Asra/Apprentice

Rating: Mature

| Read on Ao3 |

~

He had never seen the streets so empty.

Asra moved down the street at a headlong pace, lungs burning. On a normal day the crowds would have been out in force, flowing between the south market and the docks. Now there were so little people...and so many red-painted doors.

His nerves felt raw here, fear keeping his chest tight. But still he kept an eye out, and when he saw the clinic -- a wooden sign with a painted bottle of leeches -- he veered towards it. And stopped, as he caught sight of the red paint smeared over the doorframe.

Of course it would be marked, he reminded himself, as his stomach clenched. This was the ultimate haven for plague sufferers.

Asra tried the door. Locked.

Confusion overtook him. He leaned against the building and pulled the stack of letters from his bag. They were dog eared and fraying, worn from being read many times -- but never replied to. A reaction borne of pride, and one he now regretted. The last two were particularly creased and many lines were crossed out, as if they had run out of parchment.

D  e ar As ra

Forgive the shortnes of the letter. I dont know how Ilya ran this clinic by himself. Exhaustin g. I dont know where you are and I dont know why you wont answer my letters. I dream of you every night. Please dont leave me to wonder so callously.

Day  a

He closed his eyes, imagining the words as if they fell from their lips. When he could hold the paper without trembling, he read the last one.

Asra

You must hate me. Why else would you meet my le ters with cold sile nce

Please Im sory. If I could take it back I would

Asra clutched the last letter to his chest and knew a moment of bitter regret.

Two weeks it had been since the letter found him, inkstained and tremulous. Daya had always written in a beautiful cursive (maybe he was a lovesick fool, to think even their handwriting was lovely, but they did) -- it had to be fatigue. It had to be. Anything else was unthinkable. Unacceptable.

Faust peeked out from under his scarf. Her tongue flicked the air, and she slithered across the paper, across his hand.

Daya?

“I don’t know, Faust,” Asra said heavily. “I think they must have gone to help the doctor.” Knowing Daya, they would have worked themself to exhaustion, and then they would have pushed themself some more.

Even if they were better now. Even if they were angry at his stubbornness; even if they had finally given up on trying to contact him...it didn’t matter. Together they could talk it out. They always did.

Faust slid over his shoulders, and Asra nuzzled her with his cheek.

Snooze?

“You snooze,” Asra said, stroking her chin. “I need to find Daya.”

Faust sent him a distinct sensation of disapproval, but Asra placed her in his bag and moved away from the door. He was exhausted, it was true, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He had to find them--he had to know they were alright.

~oOo~

His legs were burning by the time he reached the palace.

It wasn't hard to bluff his way inside. The doors were open to any who offered help to cure the plague, and it had only been a matter of convincing the chamberlain he was there to consult with the doctors. From there it was only too easy to be pointed to the library.

The palace hadn't changed much in the year or so since Asra had attended the Masquerade--with Daya, he reminded himself sadly--but without the festivities it seemed oddly empty.

The library door was open, its heavy carved door braced against the wall. Asra walked in with purpose -- and there was a desk shoved against the far wall, like the chamberlain said. A man sat in the spindly chair, poring over a large red tome.

Daya had never described the doctor’s appearance in their letters, but the plague mask hanging off his chair gave him away immediately. He was thin, and tall enough that he needed to hunch over the desk. Red curls flopped over his face; over a long nose and sharp chin.

“Doctor Devorak?” Asra asked.

The man jumped, glanced around wildly and looked right at him. His grey eyes widened, and--strangely--a flash of recognition passed over his face.

“You're Asra, aren't you? Asra Alnazar?”

For a moment Asra paused, taken aback. “You know me?”

“No,” Doctor Devorak replied. He rose slowly, closed the book with a thud and approached, adjusting his jacket. “My apprentice described you. Dayana Firestone--Daya. They, uh, made mention of you.”

Asra’s stomach clenched at the fondness in the man’s expression. An idle thought crossed his mind, but he pushed it away--he had no business questioning either of them over what might have happened in his absence. He had no right.

“They did?” he said, tongue thick in his mouth.

“Ah, well, to say they only mentioned you once or twice is quite an understatement. Daya spoke of you fondly. A lot, actually.” The man extended his hand. “Ilya Devorak. Or Julian, if you prefer. I know Nevivon names aren’t easy on the tongue. Not if you’re used to Vesuvian, as it were.”

“You talk about them as if they’re--” Asra’s heart twisted painfully in his chest; he took a deep, shuddering breath and steeled himself. “Where is Daya?”

The doctor left his hand hanging awkwardly for a moment, then withdrew it, running his long fingers through his hair.

“Asra...why don't we go somewhere else to talk? I have an office down in the --”

“I'm not interested in talking,” Asra replied coldly. “I want to know where they are.”

Ilya sighed.

“They’re gone,” he said finally. His shoulders slumped. “One of the other doctors took them to the Lazaret two days ago.”

“What do you mean, they’re gone? What the hell is the Lazaret?”

His heart was thundering in his ears, panic building in his chest. Faust poked her head out of his bag; Ilya’s eyes flicked to the snake questioningly, then back to him.

“It's where they take the sick who..who are almost...”

He trailed off. Guilt flashed across his face.

“No,” Asra said. The sick dread caught in his chest, and he felt dizzy.

“Asra, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to find out like this.” The man looked wretched, Asra observed from some faraway place in his mind. Guilt and regret painted his sharp features, made his pale skin even paler. “I only just found out.”

Asra looked at the remorse in the doctor’s expression, and wondered how he could so hate a person he had only just met.

“I don’t want your apology,” he said, his voice low.

“I--I know. Sorry doesn’t seem to be enough...”

“It’s not. No--” Asra stepped back as Ilya reached for him, his expression empathetic. “Don’t touch me. I’ll find my own way out.”

He turned on his heel without another word and left, before the tears could spill down his cheeks, and ignored Ilya’s voice calling his name.

Gone. Gone, they were gone, and he was too late.

The pain in his chest intensified, and Asra forced the sobs down into his stomach. He would not be seen broken. Not by Ilya--especially not by him. The thought made him want to vomit.

Daya?

“Not here, Faust,” Asra said breathlessly, as his pace quickened. “But we’ll find them.”

[sugapop-rp]

*:･ﾟƜιѕнℓιѕтѕ Oƒ Ɯιѕнєѕ

              ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hi, hi! tis bunny anna here and i thought i would decide to make a little wishlist for my muses! i figured this might be handy for in the future because who knows right? so read below to see what i have in mind for my muse beans and if you are interested, please like this post and/or send me a message so we can chit chat about them :) 

note:you do not have to be mutuals with me to do any of this (obviously lol), you can be a random peep passing by that is curious and that’s cool with me! you liking this means i shall be sending you a message instead thus make sure there is a way for me to do that (dm or ask). this will be also updated as time goes on depending on what new idea/muse i may have at the time

Choi Ha-joon, 26 and is an elementary school teacher

“muse a sings like an angel but is really shy so they only sing in the shower. everyday,muse b, who is their neighbor, listens to their singing and thinks muse a is actually a professional singer. one day they meet at the elevator of their building and muse b really wants to ask for muse a to sing a song for them, or just compliment them. but how will they do so without making things awkward? and to top this situation, muse a is also a lotattractive.“

give me that cliche old high school lovers see each other again after school by accident, the feels hit them once again and oof. make it angsty, make it fluffy, idc just give me some of that!

ha-joon is a book lover so what if ha-joon keeps coming to this book store that also involves your muse. they get to know each other for their enjoyment of books but the plot twist of this all is that ha-joon doens’t know your muse is not only an author but one of ha-joon’s favorite writers!

you left your USB flash drive in the library computer and i had to go through your files to figure out who you are and i ended up reading the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re actually really good???? 

Kris Yamada, 26 and is an assassin

so lowkey when i made kris i got a bit inspired by the video game “assassin’s creed” so would be interested to do something loosely based around that. something like say your muse is working for the enemy organization that kris’s order doesn’t like. they meet and get closer (friendship or romantic, doesn’t matter) and go from there? very basic idea i know lol but can be fun i think!

give me assasin buddies, bro this is something that kris is in need of lol. sure he can be like a grouch sometimes but he knows how to have fun! he used to live the wild life so let’s do some wild friend antics lol

speaking of used too’s...why not bring something back from the past for kris?  say maybe an old friend from kirs’s childhood? they can maybe meet on the street one day and they may want to ask questions because of kris suddenly dropping all contact? or we could do the more cliche idea of said friend is now a target and oops, now kris is stuck in an oopsie :’)

Song "Hayes" Hyeok, 26 and is an indie music producer. 

hayes doesn’t have the best relationship with his parents (this can be read in his bio here) so maybe one day his parents may want to do a surprise visit because he does have good contact with his sister and she praised alot about him. his parents (specifically father) wants to see how “amazing hayes is doing”. cue hayes trying to make things not go south because his parents are not fans of the fact that hayes likes boys...so to see him having a boyfriend/fiance/husband may cause some problems to put it lightly. this could include hayes pretending not to be in a relationship with your muse or pretending they are just roommates. a bit of a heavy idea so far in this list, i know but it is something i would like to explore for hayes. 

rival music producers, just give me some of that drama lol

a mentor type friendship where hayes could take in your muse under his wing to help them out in the music scene

“🌟–– we had a really ugly break-up and didn’t talk for a long time but oh hey, you’re at this party too and we’ve had a few drinks and now we’re kissing and … oh, all that wasn’t supposed to happen tonight but we’re sort of on better terms now and yikes!!! i might be falling for you again …”

“muse a is in an accident which leaves them without memory, and muse b had been on their way to break things off with their beloved muse a. when they arrive at the hospital the only thing muse a remembers is how in love they were with muse b, and muse b is forced to keep coming back to positive. muse b is trying to move on, trying to find a way to tell muse b that they want to leave them, but find themselves falling back in love withmuse a. muse a of course, eventually get their memories back, even the ones up until the last moments before the accident where they remember the fights and tension and out of the silence ask ‘youre leaving me arent you?’ but by this time muse b is entirely in love with muse a again, and muse a just feels hurt and decieved“

Sarla Dunnavant, 26 and is a businesswomen (no longer active)

give me that cliche idea of the businesswomen falling for their secretary or something similar, i’m weak for cliche’s and this one would be just fun as fudgecakes lmao.

enemies to lovers;your muse is a rival to sarla’s company and they sort of can’t stand each other ??? but like ??? respect each other at the same time ??? it’s weird but they think they cannot stand each other but one day during some business event, they find out they actually like each other and can get along (can be romantic or platonic)

based of this iconic post

ok hear me out...a sugar baby plot? it doesn’t have to be a schmexy plot either! it can be something like out of kindness (and boredom becuase what else can she do with her money) she will give gifts to your muse. like you want that fancy make up collection? alright, your college? paid off at the moment as we speak. want a lifetime supply of donuts? she can do just that. all she asks is to spend time with her and just chill out. 

Angelica Heartorne, 25 and is a vampire huntress

legit anything vampire stuff related. i am not going to be flippen picky. 

just because she IS  a vampire huntress doesn’t mean it has to be ONLY to vampires. she is multiverse so she can be a hunter for anything supernatural really. this can be something discussed for sure but she is versatile, she doesn’t have to stick to only human like leeches lmao.

a bit of a weird but funny idea that jsut came to mind? but what happens if angelica was dating someone right? but what if that person she was dating...was a vampire and she had no idea about this until by accident or something? please this sounds hilarious to me and would love to rp this out.

“ muse a enters a coffee shop and was in such a rush that she forgot her wallet, as she explains what happened to the worker and ask for them to cancel her order, then suddenly there’s a hand that hoovers over her head and money is slapped on the counter incoming muse b paying for her. muse a is like wHAT THE FUCK ! I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMEN I DONT NEED ANYONE TO PAY FOR ME, but she turns around and meets eyes with muse b who is beyond attractive. muse a then stumbles and ask how she could repay muse b and he tells her to sit down and enjoy her coffee with him “

“you said you’d call me in the morning but the voicemail you left had her voice in the background”

“ Humans start out at birth with milk white blood. The more crimes they commit, the darker their blood becomes. One day, you meet your soulmate. Skip a few years, and things are amazing… Until your soulmate trips, falls, and exposes black blood… “

based off this post

Jeong Jin-Gi, 25 and is an indie artist

“ Don’t give me one-sided unrequited love, give me two-sided unwanted love. Both sides are deeply in love with the other and both sides are like ‘fuck, really?? them??? really?’ “

“ ok so hear a sister out… i want an actual HEART WRENCHING  celebrity  &  non - celebrity thread. like muse a meeting muse b in the most random place and muse b KNOWS  muse a is famous but they’re not gonna say anything but on the inside they’re secretly freaking out. but they get to talking  &  muse b kinda forgets that they are because they’re just so normal and they have so much fun talking to them,  and muse ahas a rich lifestyle  &  is the most popular person in the world,  yet the only thing they wanna do is be with muse b. but dating the most famous person ever comes with the DISADVANTAGES.  i want the ugly stans drilling them over dating their favorite star,  i want the paparazzi making up stories about muse b  &  giving the constant break up  -  conspiracy’s,  i want the late night drama filled phone  -  calls about “ maybe this is just too much for me  “  &  muse b seeing muse a in a new picture released with ANOTHER  apparent love interest,  and i want new songs released by muse a that’s a little  T O O   emotional to just be a careless piece of work.  i just want the constant back  &  forth between them  & them wondering if their love is strong enough to overcome the difficulties or if all they are is a love that was never meant to last. “

jin ain’t no angel, he’s a bit of a person with an addiction to drgs so give me anything surrounding that. dealers or pals that find out about his addiction, anything really. just want to dive deeper into this side of jin

“i’m trying to start a celebrity gossip blog and you are an effing trainwreck so now i’m lowkey stalking you in hopes of getting a humiliating story” au

plot idea : muse a was a punk, and muse b did ballet. what more can i say? muse a wanted muse b, but muse b would never that secretly she wanted muse a as well. all of muse b’s friends stuck up their nose because they had a problem with muse a’s baggy clothes. five years from now, muse b sits at home. feeding the baby they’re all alone. b turns on tv, and guess who she sees? muse a rocking on mtv.

James Yeeun, 22 and is an art student in college

“im gonna claw myself apart. we watch netflix together and i keep a respectful and responsible distance; you lean against me to pause the screen. ask if i want cookies. i can’t stop staring at your lips. what? i say. i knew what you’d asked me even as you ask again, i just don’t want the moment to end. we’re just friends. we’re just friends.”

okay but how about an “i’m in my twenties and sick of still being a virgin, so one night when i’m drunk i think it’s a good idea to dm my old celebrity crush who is no longer really that famous anyway and ask them to take my virginity – wait why did they just dm me back?? giving me their number?? i don’t even remember doing this” au

“You kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” AU

would love to do something where james could realize he DOES like boys as well. this is something he isn’t sure off himself so i would like to dive into this background of james.

so i was watching tiktoks last night and i’ve came across this story time and would love a plot for it… so muse a had a bad childhood for varies of reasons one thing lead to another and they were kicked out of the house, so they ended up couch surfing.. this enters their fear of the dark because they would wake up in the middle of the night not knowing where they are and everything is just dark and scary, so they begin sleeping with night lights or any sort of light that they have. well moving into college means roommates and muse a is too embarrassed to mention how they’re scared of the dark to their roommate. so first night, muse a wakes up screaming and enters muse b aka their roommate into their room and they’re like ?? are you good? finally muse a breaks and tells muse b what happened to them and then next night muse a finds a night light in their room, however, that night they still wake up screaming. muse b wakes up as well and just tell them that they’re ok and that they got them.. second year of college goes by and they’re not roommates anymore. first night moving in, it happens again.. muse a wakes up screaming only to find that muse b texted them that ‘they’re in their new apartment and that everything is going to be okay.’ it could turn into beautiful friendship or maybe something more?? i just want it pls

Rose Price, 23 and is a rebel along with school drop out

lowkey i legit got inspired by the video game character “chloe” from “life is strange” but i decided to do my take of chloe if that makes sense so...rachel amber inspired plot xD to those that are a bit confused, rachel amber the character is someone chloe befriends during her time when life is a bit downhill to put it lightly. they get close (some would say even romantic) and up until the final years of high school...rachel is gone. now in the games, rachel isn’t alive BUT i was thinking why not twist this around? make said missing friend (this would be your muse) show up out of the blue? with no answer as to why they just “left” and simply goes back to how things were. 

“gimme muse a just finished their sentence in jail and they lost contact with most of the people in their former life. on the day of his release, the gate pulls back and their high school sweetheart who they lost contact with years ago muse b is in the parking lot. “

  “i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after“

“we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other“

jsut give me any fxf plot ideas man. i want rose to get some love :(

Daehwi Goe, 24 and is an indie video game creator/works at a cafe

" give me a plot where both muses are each other’s pen pals that end up falling in love through letters please. threads would be in letter format up until they finally meet each other. please. “

“ imagine that you’ve been stood up by your douche of a boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you’re ready to order but you keep asking for more time hoping that he’s just late. people are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they know and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation but as you decide to just get up and leave, this boy you’ve never seen sits down explaining loudly “sorry i’m so late, babe, traffic is crazy right now.” and he quietly adds, “i’m Michael. just go with it, yeah? whoever didn’t bother to show up is a dick.” and so you do go with it because he’s being sweet and trying to save you (and plus he’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen) and as you’re leaving the restaurant after the best non-planned date ever, he asks you out for real this time. “

“ AFTER MONTHS YEARS OF REPORTING TO A JOB THAT ABSOLUTELY KILLS MY SOUL, I FINALLY QUIT! WITH NO BACKUP PLAN OR WAY TO PAY MY BILLS ONCE NEXT MONTH IS OVER, I WALKED DANCED OUT OF MY WORKPLACE WITH THE BIGGEST SMILE ON MY FACE.. BUT NOW REALITY IS SINKING IN, THAT I’VE JUST DONE SOMETHING CRAZY IMPULSIVE AND OMG YOU’RE WATCHING ME SPIRAL OVER WHAT A MISTAKE I’VE JUST MADE AND YOU’RE SO SWEET TO OFFER TO BUY ME A DRINK BECAUSE I SURE AF CANNOT AFFORD ONE. “

“we broke up right before a giant roadtrip our friends planned and we don’t want to bail on everyone and ruin the trip so yay, looks like we get to spend a five hour drive and a weekend in a cottage together.”

Adagio Seo, 20 and is a warlock

just give me that chilling adventure’s of sabrina plots man...it’s why adagio was even made lmao.

adagio while yes, i did made him specifically for that show universe, just like angelica he is mulitverse so he’s not off limits to that show only. if you want him to be in a harry potter au? cool with me. a normal college au? also cool with me. want to go full on twlight, even better lmao. just because he is mostly for the show, doesn’t mean he’s not expandable :)

“ does the “i slept with you the other day and i didnt know we had a mutual friend and now we’re sitting across each other for brunch and it’s awkward because i ran out when you were asleep” au exist bc i need that fic “

ok so adagio has an interest of necromancy but like the thing is he’s bad...like really bad at necromancy lmao (there’s a reason he skills in herbal) so like just give the whacky shiz that can happen when doing necromancy wrong. 

basically anything warlock/witch plots, throw them my way! want my wild warlock to have some love :(

Simone Hines, 22 and is a worker at the garden section of homdepot

the happy florist who delivers one flower to the boss of the hardcore law firm across the street everyday, just to make their day a little bit brighter

plot #001: in which muse a is really insecure and struggles with their self-esteem, so muse b, their best friend, starts secretly sending notes with all the reasons to love them.

plot #013: one day, muse a wakes up and finds themself to be in the future, seemingly married to their high school enemy, muse b.

any plot with a soft, sweet, submissive male that needs to be protected at all costs because he’s naive and doesn’t know how to speak up for himself with a girl that’s dominant, rough around the edges, not afraid of anything, and is ready to take on the world.

  tbh i just need a long distance relationship plot where they cry on skype bc they miss each other so much and they have passive aggressive texts bc of what’s on each others snapchat stories but then the fluffy moments when they see each other at the airport and all the desperate please don’t leave me again sex and i just need a long distance plot  

Levi Kim, 24 and owns his own cafe

highkey want a ‘someone wrote your phone number on the wall of a bathroom in my dorm with ‘call for a good time’ and i just texted you to let you know that i scribbled it out and oh wait you’re actually funny and easy to talk to and now we’re talking every day and i might have a tiny little crush on you even tho  i don’t even know your name’ plot

i got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street and opened my door to find you trying to sleep on the floor of the hallway because your roommate has his fiancée over so i guess i’ll lend you my couch for the night AU

it’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but sOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP YOU SHITHEAD

utterly obsessed with the niche but incredibly romantic concept that is “late night radio show host falls hopelessly in love with and pines for recurring caller, oblivious to the fact that the person calling in whenever they’re on air is also in love with and pining for them after finding comfort in listening to their voice every night on their long commutes home”

Park Hades, 23 and is next in line for the Park corporations/modern day greek god hades

look i’m glad you have a healthy sex life and all but will you please try not to pierce a whole through my ceiling with your bed thanks

i have a policy of not giving my real name on dating apps and apparently you do the same. we have a good conversation so we decide to meet, but oh no … it turns out you’re my ex. yikes!!!

[narkinafive]

this one’s a doozy

(i feel like i should have done sth like this for the prequels/the clone wars but oh well. i'll get around to it eventually! maybe! gotta do something while waiting for ix right lol)

oh, rebels. rebels rebels rebels. i know it's probably unbelievable, but i was so gutted by the clone wars cancellation that i really Did Not Like rebels at. it took... idk about two years for me to give it a real chance (and i was still deep in a previous fandom hole, so i didn't really get into it until like. the start of s4) (if you can guess what fandom it was you get a cookie) i am so glad i tried it again.

of course, ezra bridger is, was, will always be my favorite boy. i really did not expect him to waltz away with my heart! anakin has always been my favorite (and he still is, tbh), bc that kind of character and that kind of arc is so on brand for me, like. i LOVE my dark tragic messiah demigods, i really really do!!! but then this doofy dumbass kid with big blue eyes and a big blue heart and his many cat friends just punched me in the gut!

it's been a year and i've had time to digest the whole package. let me preface by saying that rebels is absolutely 100% perfect and my favorite piece of expanded sw media by a LONG mile. NOW. that doesn't mean that there weren't things i didn't like (going under a cut!)

many times, it tried too hard to tie into the greater saga - bringing in palpatine, the wbw, all the saga cameo characters, like... some of them worked better than others. the r2d2 and c3po cameos were the worst, w obi wan coming in at a close second. the best saga character cameo was definitely mon mothma (and bail). i really liked leia's episode, but. idk. it still felt a little shoehorn-y

i wish ezra's descent into the dark side had been more ... present? he gets some great, great moments. but it's kind of sudden (i've touched on this before so i won't keep going)

someone else has brought this up (and i ................. do not remember who sdfkjlsdfjlk) but pushing aside the Great Rivalry of thrawn and hera for the force stuff is... idk. that's a whole other thing

now i love the force shit. like i LOVE it. but i think rebels might have been stronger if it focused less on force shit and more on the early war effort, in the same vein as rogue one. i know it'd be more difficult to fill out four seasons rather than one movie, but as it got into s4 and closer and closer to episode iv... idk, put the force shit at the beginning of the season? idk. i really love how they did it, but... idk! it's complicated

oh, and speaking of complicated - maul. i love what they did with him, i love this sad garbage pile and watching him recreate his trauma onto others as a way of dealing with it... but i think it was a weird choice. maul is so... idk, grimdark? for such a lovely sweet show

kallus going to lira san better be bc he's being tried for war crimes lmao

sabine staying on lothal is... a choice. not one i hate. but i still don't quite understand it

and my biggest gripe, ironically one of my favorite parts of the show: ahsoka lives.

dont' get me wrong; i was so happy that ahsoka lived, i nearly threw my computer across the room when ezra yoinked her into the spacetime continuum. i am a diehard ahsoka fan and i will fight somebody to defend her honor. THAT SAID. the narrative of ahsoka going down at the hands of her former master? as he desperately tries to erase every part of his former identity? the great commander tano, clone wars veteran, an early casualty of the rebel alliance? it's so good. it's SO good. having her story end there would have been just some phenomenal shit. just superbly poetic. i'm glad she's alive! and the emotional impact is still the same, even with her coming back, but my god.

now. the things i love.

the character arcs. all of them. ezra bridger, war orphan, street thief, cast out by his people, finding he is stronger than he ever thought could be possible, giving his life for his people because he forgives them, and because it's the right thing to do. kanan jarrus, jedi knight, reclaiming his heritage and his jedi legacy (and yes, watching him die still hurt just as much as the first time aroundd) (and also, thanks to @aspiringwarriorlibrarian and @greatlakesrebel for pointing out many many many things, but first and foremost tonight, that dume the wolf was of course voiced by fpj) (i’m slow ok shut up). hera syndulla, who unfortunately had to learn the hard way how to balance love and war so she didn't become her father, pushing away everyone she loved for the greater cause. zeb orrelios, finding his people, learning he's not the last of his kind, leading the refugees to their ancestral home. sabine wren, forgiving herself and freeing her planet from oppression. and not just the hero arcs - the villain arcs, too!!!! darth maul's single minded obsession that kept him alive for 30 years ending in a 3-hit fight on a backwater planet because he just couldn't sustain that hate for so long. all of thrawn's cleverness couldn't predict the force. i don't have an issue with a single one of these!

THE FORCE (TM)!!!! there is so much delicious crunchy force nonsense, i could DROWN in it

among my many, many issues w the old EU, one of them was demystifying the force, quantifying and trying to label it too much. some things were quantified bc they needed to be (the holocrons, the sith code, etc) but most of it was kept as vague and nebulous as possible, which is GOOD. when it comes to mystical magic, less explanation is mostly always more

i love that we don't have clear cut answers for the loth wolves and the lothal temple, i could ponder that shit for WEEKS and never get bored

it does feel like a mostly self contained story. "been there made history" can get overused very easily (see: hbo rome) but rebels used it just enough to fit it into the larger saga

having rex survive both the clone wars AND the galactic civil war??? fuck yeah

kanan and ezra. kanan and ezra. there is so much i could say about kanan and ezra. it's everything to me. war vet finds plucky young orphan and adopts him? sign me tf up!! their relationship as it grows from mentor/mentee to peers is really really well done

and speaking of growth, ezra and sabine going from obvious romantic interest to battle forged siblings is not something that i was expecting but is definitely one of the best parts of the show

kevin has some really incredible tracks in this show: top of the list is 100% kanan's end credits, followed closely by it's over now. wow

and speaking of, the entirety of the last ten minutes of twilight of the apprentice deserves its own bullet. that shit is right up there with vader v luke round 2

the planet designs, mostly malachor and lothal, but when hera and sabine launch the dome, and the lothal sky suddenly turns to blue as the pollution is leeched out and destroyed... that shit is breathtaking

and so much more. like so much

this show holds such a special place in my heart :") now if only dave could bring back my son... like. PLEASE 

see you all in rogue one!

[askthiscpblog]

oh now that im reminded of Imani, can her and Puppeteer meet again?? I dont ship her and Toby I kinda ship her and Puppet platonically and maybe later on romantically. of course if you don't want to or don't have the time you dont have to. Thanks!!

Puppet has had a long last few weeks. With the whole mansion being on edge and everything, most people were way too touchy for his liking. He still had plenty of energy from his last kill, but he decided to head out hunting anyways. Or at least trying to find a new target to leech onto for a few weeks. Even investigate this other gang that was popping up. Or something like that. Whatever he would do his job and have fun with it one way or another. 

The ghost made his way into a city, floating though buildings until he came upon a weird shop. It was the middle of the night, yet the lights were on bright allowing him to see inside. Inside he could see two girls chatting away without a care in the world. Both had a beer in their hands, talking about God only knows what. He looked closer, trying to make out details of the inside. Puppet then tried to drift inside but hit a wall instead. Weird, he tries again. And once again he is met with a wall, unable to get inside this little shop. What the ever-loving fun was this? 

Now Puppet was curious. Putting his head against the wall, he looked inside. He saw two dark-skinned women in there, one African and the other looked to be of some mixed heritage. Native American, from what it seems like. The rest of the details were too fuzzy for him to be able to tell, and he couldn’t hear a damn thing they were saying.

“Then I jumped in an empty trashcan and my friend rolled me down the street until we ran into a fucking tree! It was ridiculous!” Imani let out a loud laugh before taking a drink of her beer. She usually didn’t tell people about her private life outside of her work, but Lulu was one of her good friends, so she didn’t mind. Plus… It was Lulu. She was a saint in the killer’s mind. A wild, witchy, saint with sometimes questionable sanity.

“But other than getting high enough to jump into a trashcan naked, everything has been pretty normal.” Imani snorted again, her eye drifting from Lulu’s face as she recalled the event and she shook her head.

“What’s been up with you, hmm?” she continued.

“Oh, nothing much beyond the usual things. People in the front of the store, boring and normal as always. Those who come in the back, yet, got interesting. Had this one motherfucker who was so tweaked out on acid I threw my voice to sound like a meowing cat. Shit went wild searching for it. Along with…” Lulu continued wide-smiled finishing off her own beer. She looked disappointed in that fact, but a grin came to her face afterward.

“So, if you don’t mind running to grab a few grams, I will cook it up into something special. And you know my special treats are legendary.” Lulu then reached into her purse on the counter and pulled out a $100.

“You know where to find the best stuff for the best buck anyways. I was gonna mix it with what I’m growing. A little flair never hurt.” 

Puppet continued to watch outside the shop, trying to read their lips the best he could. He circled around the building, trying to find a way in. He could get in everywhere but a single apartment that was above this store. This woman, either of them, knew a thing or two about ghosts and warding that much is for sure. But how much, Puppet was going to see if he could find out. He knew he would have to tell Slender about this. If he couldn’t get in, then a few other supernatural beings couldn’t. Whoever ran this store might know a thing or two on how to fight demons too. Perfect.

Imani grinned wide, nodding in response with, “I can definitely do that.” She quickly finished off her beer before picking her mask up from the counter.

“Keep your money, I got a guy who owes me. Dumb fuck got himself on my hit list, I only let him live because dude has the best weed and dick I’ve ever had.” She walked towards the door, her steps rhythmic as she did so. One, two, three, repeat. She opened the door, looking back at Lulu and smiling again.

“I’ll be back with the goods!” She walked out of the comforting store, breathing in the air. She fixed her mask onto her face, turning left to go down the street.

“Have fun now. You know how to get in, even if it’s locked.” Lulu told to her, locking the door after she left wrapping up her shop.

“OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Puppet yelled, but there was no sound. Only to his ears. It wasn’t out of annoyance, but rather shocked that it was the same woman who almost didn’t allow him to feed on the bridge. This night got more interesting for her and him. Puppet followed in ghost form for a block or two until they were well enough away from the shop to try and make a move. He couldn’t become physical here with ease like last time, it’s been a little since he last ate. But he could at least manifest some fragments to communicate.

‘Hey, girly. Remember me?’ Long time, no see.’ he says in her head. Out on the edge of her eye, his figure solidifying before it vanishes if she goes to look at it.

Imani stopped, mid-step. She looked around her, checking the area with a passing glance, raising an eyebrow.

“…Who’s there?” She couldn’t see anyone around and shrug. Either she was paranoid, or she was developing late-onset schizophrenia. She continued walking, picking up her pace. She was near her destination anyway. All she needed to do was avoid whatever odd voice was speaking in her head and get on her merry way and get back to Lulu.

‘Aww, you don’t remember me? How sad.’ He says in her head again. He continued to float around her, keeping his distance but studying her. Puppet could make himself physical for a little bit, but not for a long extended period of time like last time he met her. So, he decided to do it. He materialized behind her and dropped to the ground walking.

“Maybe if you see me now, you’ll remember better.” The woman turned around, left eyebrow raised. Her eye widened when she saw the man in front of her.

“Aaah, the Puppeteer. To what do I owe the pleasure?” She crossed her arms over her chest, smiling underneath her mask. From what she remembered, she had found his presence at least tolerable, so she didn’t feel a need to scare him off.

“I hope that you weren’t following me. Because that would be creepy.”

“Oh no, my sweet. I follow no one unless they are my next victim. You, however, are not. A friendly surprise is all.” He responds, holding his hand out to give a courteous bow. Over the top, this one is. Makes sense though…somewhat.

“No. I am out searching for a friend. He was taken a few nights ago. Well in fact, when we met and parted. That night. A raid happened on my home.

”She did a small mock curtsy in return, the small smile under her mask growing a tad bit. He seemed fun. Her smile dropped when it registered in her head that his friend had been kidnapped and she dipped her head.

“I’m sorry about your friend.” She turned around, staring at the sidewalk for a second, looking at the cracks in the cement. Thinking One, two, three, four, five, six. Good, in groups of threes. There was a small dandelion growing out of one of them. She didn’t want to get involved in other people’s business, and not with talks of raids. But he was fun. And she had a bit of empathy left in her for fun people.

“Is there anything that I can do? Get the word out? I’ve got a lotta people in a lotta places.” Imani offered, somewhat genuine knowing the feeling of being jumped without warning. It fucking sucks, and it is hard to recover from.

“That would be appreciated actually! Though he isn’t exactly above the radar and is a very aggressive individual. Dumb as a brick, but smart when it comes to fighting and surviving.” he explained, rolling his eyes at the whole thought of getting him back. No one liked him, but he was a good brute to have around and the easiest to make fun of out of everyone. Puppet makes a string out of his own energy, not threatening her but twirling it around. Maybe it would be best to start asking about the girl in that room with her?

“So that girl you were with? I couldn’t even get into her place she had it so locked up. Who is she?”Imani’s eye narrowed, turning back to face him. She didn’t trust him, and especially not with information about someone close to her. The energy he was twirling about didn’t do him any favors. Her accent faded, and her voice turned cold and frigid.

“A friend of mine. She’s one of the very few people I trust. Walk with me.” She turned in one swift movement and began walking. One step, two steps, three steps. Pause. Don’t step on the cracks.

“My friend values her privacy. And I value loyalty above all else. You’ll have to snoop for yourself.” She let out a snort, becoming less on edge.

“I have a feeling that you have no problem with that.”

He looked at her and vanished his tread, it dissipates into nothing as she began to walk away from him. Rather than wal,k he floated next to her, on the other side so no one else could see him. Wasn’t far, an inch or so off the ground at the most.

“Fair enough, we have similar values where I come from. Or who I work for. Which by the way, have you considered my offer of maybe working for us every so often?” Puppet inquired, curious to her answer. Despite this, his mind kept drifting to how that entire place was locked up, even against ghosts. Might need someone real to get in there and figure out who she is. Best person for the job might be Jane, or maybe they could hire someone outside of it. If this woman, Imani, wouldn’t give any info about her to him, Slender might have to take it for himself.

“I have. But I’m not exactly a team player. I like to work by myself, for myself. It tends to be better that way.” She made a sharp turn left, hopping over a large crack. That shit was annoying.

“I’m also pretty awkward with new people.” She eyed the floating man at her side, turning her head to look at him better. He clearly wasn’t human, that much she knew. You can’t be close friends with Lulu and the people that she knew without learning what was human and what wasn’t. That and he fucking floated.

“What are you, if you don’t mind my asking? Are you a genie or something?” Puppet kept following, even with the sharp turn he kept up with her. When she asked if he was a genie, he couldn’t help but to burst out laughing. Not meaning to insult her, but that was the funniest thing he heard anyone guess what he was.

“No…no,” he responded between his ‘breaths’, “I am no genie. Easiest thing to say is I am dead, and an angel of death. And not coming back to life anytime soon either.

”She let out a laugh, “Well you give off genie vibes! If you get bored of being an angel of death or whatever you could probably run a genie scam.” She stopped in front of a small house, rather run down-looking. It almost looked abandoned if it wasn’t for the lights shining from inside it. The inside was much nicer than the outside, much more comforting and less crack-housey.

“This is my stop. I’ll get the word out about your friend.” She reached up, unclipping her mask and taking it off, shaking her curls out to make sure they weren’t pressed down from the straps. She turned her head to get a better look at him, the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile.

“And I suggest you leave my friend alone. She ain’t someone you wanna fuck with. She can fight dirty as hell, and if you piss her off, I’ll be morally obliged to help her blast you into oblivion.” Puppet held up his hand in defense, landing on the ground outside of the house. That cocky smile never left his cheeks, if only because he knew what could happen and headed her warnings.

“Hey, I won’t go after her. I can’t even get into the damned place, much less fight a girl who probably could blow my ghosty butt to bits. Though the genie scam sounds like a good idea, might try that one day.” With that, he gives her the over dramatic bow that he gave her last time upon their departure. It was his signature of sorts, or at least he thought.

“I may see you again, sooner or later. Enjoy your night.” With that he vanished from her eyes, invisible as he flew away in search of his next meal.

[ohthathurt]

omg #7 on the high school themed, for the drabble prompt please 😩

Prompt: “I accidentally tookyour notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting andcute doodles”

I changed it a slight bit so hope you dont mind anon x

Inspired by the way Zayn doodled Liam’s name in the UAN Yearbook:

“Look I’m just saying, it’s been what, a year, since you andDanielle broke up, maybe you should just give it a go, mate!” Louis, his bestfriend, pestered him for what felt like the umpteenth time that month since theend-of-year school dance was announced. This was something new – a very Britishversion of a school prom. Apparently, public schools all around were beginningto get into it.

Liam made a face; “I don’t know…” he trailed off skeptically,still unsure of his love life now that their studies were amped up to a full10, with Liam’s extracurricular activities leeching his free time.

They walked over the sparse grass ofthe football field, heading towards the main school building in their runningshoes, having just come back from light training that always left Liam’s energylevels unusually high. He mulled over Louis’ words. Most of what he said wastrue, though.

Only a month ago, a circular had comethrough that left most of the teens in his school tittering with excitement andapprehension – they were to have a school dance, where every person was allowedto take a date. Louis, of course, was more than happy to accompany his boyfriend,who was a year behind, to the dance. He was pretty sure Niall already hadsomeone in mind (he had a sneaking suspicion it was that Irish bloke from theirrugby team). That left him: good ol’ Payno.

Since his break-up with Danielle lastyear, he hadn’t really dated anyone. To be fair, that was because he threwhimself into raising his grades so his mum didn’t look like someone had diedevery time his report came in. He took up boxing classes as well, the youngestmember at their local gym and had managed since then to establish and start anew boxing club at their school.

All in all, he was doing pretty well.Now all he needed was a date. Yup, piece of cake. He let out a single, longbreath as if it had been agonizinglypunched out of him.

***

Now the truth was, there wasn’t exactly a lack of interested individuals who would be more than happy to behis date to the dance. No, he had his plenty share of people asking for weeksnow but he always turned them down, gently, of course.

No, he had eyes for someone else.

Someone who was currently stood down the hallway, near where thelockers were, merrily chatting to his mates. Now being ‘the absolute idiot thathe was’ according to Louis, he had never talked to this guy.

Zayn, was his name. Zayn Malik – the name that made President of theBoxing Club Liam Payne sigh like a Victorian lady. Of course, the boys on hisfooty team knew, and took the absolute piss out of him for it, making annoyingsmooching noises whenever Zayn passed by, not even reacting to the Vice Captainof the football team making eyes at him.

The thing was – he had never talked to him. Ever. And that is why Louis had coined him a ‘stupid bastard’. Bitharsh, but understandable. It’s just that he was so intimidated by him. Inanother universe, maybe, Liam would have had the guts and confidence toapproach Zayn, maybe chat him up or even ask him out.

But no, actual Liam Payne had zero guts when it came to Zayn. In fact,he usually gave Zayn a wide berth whenever he passed him by, scared he’d dosomething idiotic like smile dreamily at him or ask to smell his hair orsomething.

Yeah, approaching him seemed like a bad idea, especially when he wasso sure Zayn hardly knew he existed. He shared his thoughts with Louis whoscoffed loudly at him from where he stood near the main doors with Liam.

“Mate, no offence, but I’ve seen that boy check you out more timesthan I’ve given Harry a blowjob and lemme tell you, we’re wild.”

Liam stared at him with a deadpan expression for a hot minute before, “Yourealize I don’t care about your sex life, right? So will you please stoptelling me about it?” He yelled, his voice echoing rather embarrassingly in thehallway. But no matter, Louis reallyneeded to stop telling him details.

Louis, the arsehole, only smirked at him before continuing, “Have Itold you about that time – “

Liam just started walking away from him, towards the lockers, yellingback, “You need to shut up, you Yorkshire fuck!” He turned back to face thefront, when he noticed a pair of hazel eyes regarding him with shock. Oh shit.

Apparently Zayn had heard Liam shout and he wasn’t sure but –

“Did you know Zayn’s from Yorkshire?” Louis caught up to him andwhispered hotly into his ear from behind, amusement coating his words.

Liam blushed intensely with embarrassment as his mate snickeredhimself silly beside him. He really needed a new best friend.

He chanced a look up at Zayn again, only to catch him turning away intime and heading off with his friends, closing his locker door behind him.Only, just as Zayn walked away, Liam noticed a spiral notebook lying on thefloor in front of his locker.

Something spurred Liam to jump forward and he reached the notebook,picking it up with one hand, the other raised and ready to call Zayn back and –say what?

Sorry I was actually calling my mate a Yorkshire fuck and not you,also here is your notebook, I saw you drop it because I’m always staring atyou, please love me –

Yeah, that wasn’t happening, he thought as he hefted the notebook upand noticed with fondness the little ’Z’ sketched on top of the cover. It was ayellow and black swirl pattern book with blank pages and to Liam’s surprise,those pages were mostly filled with sketches.

Beautiful sketches with precise lines and animated expressions ofvarious characters. A sketch of a family in front of a Christmas tree, a dogplaying in a backyard, the skyline of London –

Liam stopped short, his entire world went on pause and he was prettysure he lost several brain cells. On the last page at the back of the notebookwere cute doodles in a black pen, like the inane ramblings of a person who wasbored in class.

In the middle of these messy scrawls and scribbles, was his name.

Written in black ink and decorated endearingly with loops and swirlsand little hearts all around was the name: Liam Payne. That’s him! That was his name on the back of a notebook of a boy he’scrushed on for an entire year!

He could scarcely believe what he was seeing but Louis’ shocked butsmug expression basically confirmed it.

Zayn liked him! In the cute I-find-you-adorable way, his crush haddoodled his name during class when hewas probably bored or hey, maybe thinking about him?

Liam’s cheeks flushed at the thought, he had never been crushed onbefore like this. Especially by a boy as lovely as Zayn, with his floppy blackhair that fell silkily on his forehead and those beautiful hazel eyes hidden behinda pair of black framed glasses that always slipped down his perfect littlenose.

Now he was giddy. He cracked a huge grin and faced Louis, “I have anidea!”

***

Zayn was having a pretty normal Monday – as normal as it can getactually. The classes were droning on as usual and nothing was out of theordinary. That is if you don’t count Liam Payne shouting ‘Yorkshire fuck’ inthe school hallway. Zayn’s lips twitched at the memory and at how Liam’s flushed-from-the-exerciseskin had reddened even more as his eyes had caught onto him.

But then he had turned away from him, and Zayn was forced to lower hishopeful gaze yet again and walk away as once again his crush ignored him. Everytime he thought, yes now he’s gonna talkto me, Liam always found a way to avoid him or would just completely ignorehim. Mixed signals were not his thing so maybe he should just let this one go.

He heaved out a regretful sigh and focused back on the conversation hewas having with his mates. Only they had gone suspiciously silent. When heturned to his mate, Adam, to ask what was wrong, his friend only lifted up afinger and pointed at something behind him.

Confused at his behaviour, he whirled around to look at –

Liam Payne. Looking every bit as scrumptious as he always does inthose sports’ shorts and tee. He was also smirking, wait why was he smirking?And what was he holding?

Zayn felt the colour drain from his face as he recognized Liam’s longfingers clutching onto a very familiarspiral notebook. Oh you know the one with Liam’s name sketched a thousand timesover all of it!

He gulped and reached out for it and was surprised when Liam handed itover easily. His mind was running through a million loud thoughts but they allsilenced when Liam walked over to him and right up into his personal space. Oh god, he smelled as good as he looked, nowait what?

Zayn felt all the breath in his lungs freeze as Liam tilted his headdown to hover his lips over his ear as he whispered, “You have cute doodles. Iespecially like the ones on the last page.”

Zayn could only shudder as Liam shifted impossibly closer and peckedhim gently on the cheek. In a sudden rush, he moved back and walked backwards afew steps from Zayn, pausing only to wink awkwardly, oh bless he winks with both eyes, before turning back and headingoff with his mate.

It was a good minute before he could breathe again and then heremembered what Liam whispered to him! (After which he was given the mostgentle, loving kiss on the cheek but he’ll freak out over it later, he wassure)

He scrambled to get his notebook upright before he flipped to the lastpage, where he knew he had doodledLiam’s name in the most cringe way he possibly could.

Zayn noticed a short sentence penned in underneath where he hadsketched Liam’s name.

“Will you go to the dance with me?”

And for the first time in manyweeks, Zayn felt like his face would crack open with the widest grin he couldpossibly manage.

[thevixenfanfiction]

Chapter Thirteen

I’m getting closer to part two...and the part where I run out of chapters because I’m a lazy writer. And a shoutout to @court-0f-dreamers for reading my hideous unfinished chapter before it was ready to be seen!! LOL Slinking in a hole, friend....

Prologue  Chapter One  Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six  Chapter Seven  Chapter Eight  Chapter Nine  Chapter Ten  Chapter Eleven  Chapter Twelve

Summary: This story follows the path of someone who turns pity into malice and revenge into a lifestyle. Someone who doesn’t believe in love’s power and strays from what little good she has in her heart. Myriad is a fae with the rare ability to leech magic from other face, leaving them husks of their former selves. Myriad worked for and was Amarantha’s secret pet, spy and lover. After the Queen’s death, Myriad leaves to live in solace. On her journey, she’s captured by Hybern and set with a task to complete. Penetrate the workings of the Nightcourt and report to the King. During this time she falls in with the Inner Circle by a chance meeting with a male from her past. She must then gain their trust, in turn, discovering things about herself in the process, fighting the unbreakable command the King of Hybern gave her. (This follows the ending of A Court of Thorns and Roses thru to the end of the series. Slow burn Azriel/Myriad) (Roughly inspired by Disney’s Maleficent.)

  For a moment I thought I was dead.  

  Then came the cold.

  Every inch of my body was so cold. I was shaking with it.

 That was when I realized I wasn’t dead. After all, was death really that cold?     I would have rather taken death then to stand another minute of the burning cold.

  I woke up.   I was covered in blankets and beside one of the largest fires I had ever seen in a fireplace. Every nerve in my body burned with cold as another warm blanket was placed over me, adding to the heat that just wasn’t able to seep into my bones.

   “Good, you’re awake. Stupid girl.”

   I groaned in reply.

   A face came into view and I recognized Madja, the healer who had saved my life before.

   “What possessed you to jump after Azriel? You could have both been killed. In fact, you almost were if Cassian hadn’t gotten to you in time. Stupid girl.”

   “Cassian...how?”

   I tried to sit up but Madja shoved my back down by my shoulder. I let her.

   “Azriel sent him a message, which he got, barely in time to pull you from the water. You both were half drowned and frozen.”

   “Azriel,” I asked. “Is Azriel alright? He was stabbed. He’s alright isn’t he?”    Madja’s face softened and she reached out to push my curls from my face and feel my forehead.

   “Whatever you did for him saved him. Those witch spells you wrote over him almost repelled my magic,” she said lowly. “But you kept him alive.”     “I hadn’t meant to.”    Madja nodded and smiled kindly.    “I know. He’s alive, and dont worry he has suffered much worse in the past, believe me, child.”

  I closed my eyes and pulled the blankets under my chin. At least Azriel was alright. I touched the bond, nestled in my chest, and it felt quiet. Not as if  Azriel wasn’t there, but rather that he was safe and wasn’t in any pain.

  Madja brushed my hair back again and I heard her sigh.

  “Go back to sleep, Rhysand will want to talk to you when you’re rested,” she said gently.    I snorted in answer.    “Who’s idea was that? Yours?”    Majda tucked my blankets up and stood.    “Yes. Now go to sleep.”

                                                                                          ***   ***   ***

    I woke to the distinct feeling that I was being watched.

    My blankets fell off me as I sat up and looked around. The only sound I heard was the soft crackle as the fire died in the fireplace and the creaks and groans of Madja’s house.

    I saw nothing and I smelled nothing, but the sense of being watched was still there.

    “Who’s there? Rhysand?”     I pushed my blankets off and stood, turning around fully.

    I started when Rhysand materialized from the shadows and stepped forward.

    “The sleeping beauty wakes at last. Three days is a little dramatic for an ice bath,” Rhys said as he lazily waved his hand and the fire came back to life.

     “Get comfortable. I want to chat.”

     The highlord’s voice boded no argument so I sat down on the couch and watched as the Rhysand took a seat closest to the fire in a plush armchair.

     “What do you want to talk about so badly that you have to wake me in the middle of the night?”

     Rhysand settled his chin on two fingers and watched me, his violet eyes holding mine for what seemed like ages.

     “You’re a more accomplished witch than you let on,” he said quietly. “Azriel told me everything. About Asta and about what happened in the Winter court. Don’t worry, I’m not angry with him for taking you. I am curious however. You have an aunt, who has been living under Kallias’s nose for Cauldron knows how long and we’ve only just found out. This could be trouble.”

      “Already is,” I replied. I pulled my knees up under my chin and watched Rhysand. He had stopped looking at me and he seemed enraptured by the fire. The yellow light made his whole face gleam wickedly, reminding me of the monster I had come to know Under the Mountain.

   “If you’re thinking she might side with Hybern,” I said, quietly. “I don’t think she will. She didn't...I think she has only her own interests in mind. Taking a side with Hybern, or anyone, isn’t on her agenda.”     Rhysand looked back at me and this time I met his stare, once again wondering if he was looking through my head.

    He was silent for a long while and I almost thought our conversation was over when the Highlord spoke again.

    “Amren tells me you have been to the Human Queens’ court.”

    I nodded, warily. This was the second time the human Queens were brought up.

    “Yes. Why?”     Rhysand ran a hand through his dark hair and sat back in his chair. His face looked lined, like he had a weight on his body that he’d been holding up for long time.

    “I need your help. You know what we retrieved from the Summer Court,” he asked. I nodded and Rhysand continued. “The Queens have the other half of the Book of Breathings, as part of the peace treaty between our people. We need to get that other half and in order to do that, we need to gain their trust.”    I snorted and raised my eyebrows.

   “Kind of hard to do when our entire race enslaved the humans hundreds of years ago. That, and you’re the Highlord of the Court of Nightmares, which makes you nearly impossible to trust.”

    Rhysand’s lips turned up in one of his smirks.

    “I know. That’s why I’m going to show them Velaris.”

    I sat up straight and stared at Rhysand, thinking he had to have gone mad.

    “What?!”

    “You heard me,” Rhysand replied, crossing his leg over his knee. I let my feet slip off the couch and I stood up.

    “Have you gone mad, Rhysand?! You have no idea who they could sell Velaris out to! They are selfish, greedy humans. You are better off just killing them outright and stealing this book.”    Rhysand nodded and waved a hand lazily.

   “Cassian already brought that up. It would take too much time; time we don’t have,” he said quietly. “Besides, electing a better monarch in such a short amount of time is nearly impossible.”     I narrowed my eyes and began to pace.     “You don’t have to set up the damn humans’ kingdom for them. Let them figure it out. They are not our problem. We’d all be better off with those vipers dead anyway.”     “Feyre doesn’t think so. If you remember, Myriad,” Rhysand drawled. “She was once human. Her sisters are human. The destruction of the human realm is not what she wants, nor what I want either. It’s not beneficial to our cause.”

    I turned around and looked Rhysand in the eyes.

    “Then let me steal it. I’ve been there before,” I said. “I can find it.”

   Rhysand raised his eyebrows and looked at me differently now. He still wore his infernal smirk, but his eyes seemed to be reading me in a way he’d never looked at me before.

    “Why don’t you want me to show Velaris to the Queens?” he asked. His voice was barely above a whisper.

     I pressed my lips together and fell silent. It was only after a few minutes of silence that I gathered my thoughts to speak the truth.

     “Because Velaris...Velaris is good. It’s the only place on this damned earth that Hybern and Amarantha couldn’t touch. The people here are good, genuinely good. They don’t need to be dragged into this so some self righteous humans can be satisfied that you’re not the monsters you claim to be.”

     My voice got thick and I swallowed a few times past the knot in my throat.

     “Let the world keep seeing you as Amarantha’s whore. If that is what the price is to keep these people, your city safe, then you bloody well should do it. This place is their home.”

     I thought of little Theo and Claudius with their music shop. I thought of the Rainbow, full of laughter, color, life and art. These people didn't need the war that Rhysand said was coming. Maybe it was selfish, but Velaris didn't need to be stained. Not by the likes of Hybern or the Human Queens.

     “Velaris is home to so many good people,” I finally whispered. “My home.”

     I heard Rhysand get up and he leaned against the fireplace.

    “Because it’s what you would do?”

    I looked up at Rhysand and scowled, drawing my eyebrows together.

    “That’s exactly what I would do,” I replied coldly. “Because when you show an ounce of compassion, you show weakness. All those you love are hurt because you care about them. And maybe that makes me the greater monster, but I’d rather die a thousand deaths, or serve a thousand times for a thousand Amaranthas than have those I love hurt. Either that, or you don’t love at all.”

     Rhysand watched me with his old eyes, his mouth no longer smirking. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I’d seen pity.

     “And who are you protecting behind your mask?”

     “That’s none of your business.”

     Rhysand shifted and he stuck his hands in his pockets.

     “I have a few good guesses, but I’ll save them for later.”

      He sighed and rolled his well muscled shoulders, looking me over from head to toe.

     “We leave for the Court of Nightmares to get the Veritas from Keir, Mor’s father.”

     I rolled my eyes and rested my elbow on the mantle.

     “I know who Keir is,” I snorted. Rhysand gave me a smooth smile.

     “Good. Then I want you to come with us, you can go with Azriel to find the Veritas. Azriel tells me you have some witch tricks up your sleeves. Use them, you’ll need them.”

     “And why should I go with you?”      Rhysand simply shrugged.

     “Because if you can pass this little test, than I will let you go to the human realm and see if you can find the Book.”

    I tilted my head to the side and frowned.

    “But you said--”

    “I know. Let’s just say I always have a backup plan and you happen to be my backup plan.”

    I knew why Rhysand had said the things he said. I fell victim to his manipulation again. Only this time, he knew why I’d go to find the book. I cursed myself for being so open.

    “Fine. I’ll go,” I spat. “But don’t think for one second that it’s because of you and your damn war.”

    Rhysand gave me a feline smile and he pointed to the couch where a folded pile of Illyrian fighting leathers laid. Next to it, was a bandolier of throwing knives and two good sized fighting knives.

    “Compliments of Azriel,” Rhysand said innocently. “How he even knew your size is a marvel to me.”

    “Fuck off.”

    Rhysand’s laugh rang in my now red ears and I turned where he couldn’t see me. Still though, the thought of Azriel finding me the leathers made me uneasy. I hoped after what happened in the Winter court, he’d have gone back to pining after Mor and leave me alone.

    “We leave tomorrow. You’ll fly in with Cassian and Az.”

    Rhysand gave me one more look over before he mockingly nodded his head to me.

   “See you there.”

Tagging: @court-0f-dreamers @eternally-reading @mikaylamee 

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH29

PARTY TIME. The former monsters crash a party but it turns out that everyone’s human forms are a bunch of embarrassed nerds. Chucky suggests a hostile takeover and Pinhead yells at them for showing up uninvited. (Turns out a lot of people don’t like Freddy and his friends in this town) Meanwhile Robert Gray accidentally gets LIT and Leech shows off her bartending skills. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG! 

I’m going to start including a song to go with some of these chapters so feel free to check back to previous ones and possibly stay tuned for a playlist! 

The song for this one is Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo

CH29

Its a Dead Mans Party

When they arrived to the night club the gang expected a party. What they got was a bunch of ashamed former monsters shuffling awkwardly around. Once intimidating living nightmares were now average everyday outcasts too scared to leave the wall incase someone might recognize who they really were.

“This is the most depressing scene I’ve ever witnessed.” Freddy frowned looking out at the club.

“How are we going to find a Halloween god when the very creatures who make the holiday  scary are sulking in the corner because they suddenly have weird teeth and zits again?” Leech groaned.

Chucky took a step forward and cracked his knuckles.“Ahem while I dont want to participate in your shenanigans, I refuse to attend something so dead. So Fangs, Krueger I think we need to do a little CPR.”

“Are you suggesting a hostile take over?”

“That is exactly what I’m suggesting.”

“Wait wont you get caught? They weren’t invited!” Tiffany hissed at her husband

“They’ll be begging us to stay when we’re finished here sweet cheeks.”

“This isnt the first CPR we’ve preformed. Nothing to worry about we got a party master among us.” Leech grinned and gestured to Freddy “Krueger! Work your magic.”

“With pleasure Fangs.”

“And none of this Monster Mash bullshit guys! Give us something we can work with!”

Freddy smirked pulling out a pair of sunglasses and opened his arms as he walked down the stairs like some sort of messiah of debachery. Chucky grabbed his wife by the arm and followed after him while Leech tapped her mate on the cheek and made her way to the bar. The players took the field with confidence, Chucky and Leech kicking out the sulking DJ and bartender taking their place and signaling to the former dream demon they were ready.

Freddy caught the microphone tossed to him from the DJ booth and tapped it “You assholes call this a party? Seems like not inviting old Freddy was the wrong idea. Let’s change that shall we? Chuck, gimme some music.”

An upbeat song blasted through the speakers. Leech spun a tumbler on her palm and tossed a bottle of vodka into the air, quickly pouring out drinks faster than she probably ever had before. Freddy began placing bevrages in peoples hands and pulling groups onto the dance floor. Life started to be forced back into the event. People were enjoying themselves more and more even Leatherface started dragging folks in with Freddy.

Leech glanced over to the handsome man in the Spiderman outfit perched on the fruthest bar stool scanning the scene intently infront of him. The song Dead Man’s Party began to play and people moved towards the dance floor away from the bar giving her a moment to slide a drink over to him.

“You looked like you could use a pick-me up.” she glanced over and smiled at him when he raised his head up at her watching her stuff a tip into her coat. Robert picked up the drink without saying anything. Leech frowned and walked up to him “This is a party remember? You’re allowed to enjoy yourself.” she said leaning over the bar. He rolled up the mask on his face and sipped the rum and coke still not saying a word.

“Pen.” she frowned using his clown name to get his attention. “What’s wrong huh? I know we’re looking for the kid but take your own advice and enjoy the hunt a little.”

“That’s not my name.” he grumbled. Leech narrowed her eyes when she realized he was embarrassed. He was such an overly proud creature and being seen by others as anything but superior was severly affecting his ego. The former vampire grabbed his chin and turned it to face her ignoring a couple incoming drink requests.

“Look, I know you have been humiliated today, and I know you hate being a human but this is only temporary you’ll be back to your old self soon. You’re always going to be a perfect evil godlike entity no matter what skin you wear….especially to me.”  

Robert still didnt respond but he pulled off the mask completely and looked off to the side.

“All right fine if you’re not going to start having fun I’m going to make you have fun.” his mate growled leaving the bar briefly to pull him back behind it with her.

“What are you doing Leech let go of me” he snarled reluctnantly following her.

“You may be human but my goofball killer clown is still in there and I’m going to bring him out even if it involves kicking and screaming.”

“And how are you planning on doing that?” he grumbled.

Leech gave him a warm smile and picked up four shot glasses beginning to juggle them. The former clown arched an eyebrow in mock interest. His mate smirked and tossed a glass at him which he reflextibly caught and threw back to her glaring a bit. When she caught it she tossed another to him. his scowl softened slightly when he tossed it back at her. Leech tossed another to him followed by another until they were full on juggling. She beamed at him when his expression could no longer hold back the his grin. They continued their routine till there was a small crowd gathered around them to watch. Some were actually suprised to see the clown doing actual clown things as if there was a rumor going around that he couldn’t.

“You know I love this song.” she said collecting all four of the glasses and setting them on the bar in a line. “Pass me the clear bottle and the red one” she said picking up a tumbler. Robert tossed them over to her she caught one in her cup and bounced the other a few times on her elbow the crowd cheering a bit. She set the one bottle down and poured the red one in her tumbler and tossed it away to her partner. “Here make yourself useful, the two top right ones next.” they put on quite the little show together both of them genuinely having fun with one another. Tiffany elbowed her husband and pointed at their housemates. “Did you know he actually could juggle?”

“Unfortuneately, yes.” chucky groaned. Tiff gave him a questioning look “Let’s just say that their practicing is the reason I dont eat dinner at the table anymore.”

“That explains the wobbling” Tiff replied while cringing.

When she was done Leech passed out several shots to the crowd and handed one to Robert taking the last one in her own hand. “All right drink this with me. Hold out your arm.” the confused ex-eldritch abomination did as she instructed and his mate linked her arm around his. “We take it together at the same time.”

“Am I going to like this?”

“Don’t worry its sweet.” she teased him a bit knowing her lover tended to only eat things that were 80% sugar. She counted to three and they tipped their shots back. Robert made a face and shook his head a bit. Leech laughed and lightly tapped his cheek “You alright there big guy?”

“It burns and I feel warm.”

“Well yeah you already had one drink and I just fed you a giant shot.”

“You’re a bad influence.” he narrowed his eyes at her. The former vampire poured dark honey colored liquid into her shot glass and knocked it back. “There now I’m catching up to you.”

“We have a task to accomplish Leechie.” he grumbled Leech rolled her eyes in response making another few drinks and shoving one in his hands. “Enjoy the damn party Robert.” The shut his eyes and took a sip cursing humans and their self destructive habbits.

“CLOWN!” a mousy looking man in leather shouted.

“Is that Pinhead?” Leech asked throwing a wash rag over her shoulder “Holy fuck it is! You assholes messed up my tits!” she snarled at him.

“I dont mind them.” Robert said cooly while sipping his drink.

“Bob no.”

“I seem to recall you fully agreeing to that modification vampire.”

“I….lets not go into.…that….”

“Yes there is a different matter at hand. I came here to remove you from my establishment friends of Krueger are not allowed due to the.. liabilities…”

The former cenobite glared at the couple, Leech looked as if she was readying herself for a fight. Robert finished his drink and stepped forward pushing his mate lightly to the side.

“You seem to forget that I own this town, you are simply beng allowed to stay and I’m a bit offended I was not invited.”

“All we wish is to keep the dream demon and his associates out….especially with what happened at the last event he attended….”

“His associates being my mate? Is is wise hell priest to ban her simply for being friends with Krueger? If I must tolerate his presence then so will you.” Robert was starting to feel in control again when the hell preist backed down. He wasnt sure if it was the liquid courage he consumed or his beloved’s efforts to cheer him up but his ego was finally feeling restored. It was time to remind everyone of their place in his town and who stood on top. “I seem to recall you allowed harm to come to her when she spent time with you did you not?” he growled and loomed over the man letting his height aid in his intimidation “I think you owe me for your screw up.”

Leech tapped his arm. “Psst ask for free drinks I’m running out of tip money to pay for ours.” she said with a small whisper.

“….And free drinks” Robert rolled his eyes and placed a large hand on her hat.

“I would rather have no qualms with you. Get rid of Krueger and she may stay.”

“That wouldn't be advisable.” Leech said leaning on the bar pouring herself another drink now that it was free.

“And why is that?”

“One, Krueger Chucky and I brought this party back from the dead you needed us. Two, if you ever want to go back to being a hell priest and making that outfit actually work for you I suggest you let us continue working here.” Leech sipped a glass of whiskey and grinned smugly at the former Cenobite.

“You know how to solve this problem?”

“That’s why were here. The other clown and dracula are bringing what we need as we speak.” Robert relaxed his tense muscles into a more causal stance when he sensed the Cenobite leader backing off.

Pinhead glanced at the crowd of awkward looking humans shuffling around attempting to dance and sighed. “We are counting on you to succeed then….and clown, the invitation to the afterparty still stands…to the both of you…” he turned and walked away.

Both former monsters cringed. “And with that horrible thought I’m going to need another drink” Leech turned around and grabbed a bottle of rum.

————-

They had been there a couple hours and Robert Gray was starting to feel the room spin. He had only had a few drinks that his mate insisted on yet he was starting to feel the effects. This human beverage must be the reason they’re all so inferior. Just a few glasses of it and it was like his head was swelling with the music and his limbs felt heavy. He twisted his head over to Leech who somehow was was still standing despite having drank twice as much as he did. She was shouting something to a small crowd about piercing Freddy’s other nipple which frankly he had no desire to ever see again. Instead he sat with his head back against a couch hoping to just let this feeling pass quickly when suddenly the doll and his wife plopped down next to him. The former clown rolled his head over to acknowlege thier presence.

“Jingles! Jingles are you drunk?!”

“Leechie did it.” He managed to slur out.

“Oh man big biiiiggg mistake Jingle Bells. You never try to keep up with Fangs and Freddy”

“I remember the one time I smoked weed with her, and lemme tell ya I was high for two days!” Tiffany added “Ya gotta know your limits with that one, she’ll kill ya.”

“Did-did you just call me Jingle Bells?” Robert squinted and shook his head a bit to clear it “Nevermind the Sam-Whatever god have you seen him?” he was finding it hard to form words and began to curse the foul drink affecting his brain.

“Hey now, we said we were only stayin out of your way we aint helpin!” Tiff snapped.

“You tell em babe! Aint no way I’m going to help with making these beauties disappear.” Chucky gestured at his wifes boobs.

“Chucky stop!” she shoved him. Robert shifted more towards the edge of the couch. He decided to get up when the doll and his wife started getting “handsy” not wanting to be around for that any longer than he had to. The former clown downed the rest of the drink his mate had insisted he try and swayed his way through the crowd. People brushed up against him on the dance floor, a few he was pretty sure did on purpose. One girl in a particularly skimpy outfit walked up to talk to him and he just stood there blank faced eye drifting to the side as babble came out of her mouth. She made a few attempts to pull him in to dance with her but the former clown would not budge. She was pretty but she wasn't his Leechie. He should find her. Robert pushed her face away from him causing her to squawk after him in anger. He continued through the crowd till he got to the front of the group that had gathered around Leech and Freddy. She had a blow torch in her hand that she was using to super heat a needle raised high in the air for all to see.

“FANGS WAIT I CHANGE MY MIND PUT THE FIRE AWAY” freddy shouted his costume zipped open and a bottle of vodka in one of his hands.

“Gotta make sure its hot Fred!” she shouted over the torch. Jason and Leatherface cheered her on as she lit the fire again.

“FANGS! I’M SERIOUS YOU DIDNT TELL ME THERE’D BE A TORCH INVOLVED!!”

“The people came to see something get pierced Krueger, and I’m out of nipples!” she said and took off her top hat “Hold still this is gonna hurt a little!” she flashed him a derranged grin and stepped on his chest to hold him down. Leech was about to strike when something orange caught her eye in the crowd. Samhain was finally here watching her from a clearing in the crowd. The small creature cocked his large sack covered head to the side in curiosity and brought a pumpkin lollipop up to his mouth under its mask. She froze staring back at him giving Freddy enough time to wiggle free from under her boot and escape.

“FUCK THIS I’M OUT” the former Dream Demon leapt off the table. The crowd groaned and dissipated. Robert took his cue to rush in and embrace her giggling to himself as he spun his mate around pulling her tightly into his arms. “Peachy!” he slurred out. “My pretty pretty mate!” he sang kissing the top of her head. He reeked of booze.  

“Bob! Wait I-“

“I went to find you! And strange women kept trying to dance with me!”

“Robert I saw- hold up what?”

“But you’re here now! Your Penny’s got you all to himself!” he giggled and rubbed his nose on her. Leech narrowed her eyes and glared a bit in jealousy.

“Run that last part by me again.”

“Annoying things, dancing around trying to touch. They don’t know you’re mine! Aaaallllll mine, mine, mine, mine!” he began to babble himself not letting his precious mate go as he swayed around till he had pushed her into a wall away from the crowds. He couldn't even remember why he was at this event anymore he just knew she was warm and smelled like rum and lavender. Robert peppered her with drool filled sloppy kisses muttering “mine” to himself over and over in between each peck. Leech laughed and pushed him back she could see his dilated pupils in his sunken baggy eyes and the warm flush on his cheeks.

“Wow, you were right I am a bad influence on you.” she sighed reaching up to his face when she realized she had gotten the former eldritch abomination completely drunk. Leech knew she’d be in so much trouble once he sobered up but this was at least entertaining. she’d find Freddy about the halloween god shortly. Uncle Bob and Dracula would be here with the candy sack any minute now anyway and soon they’d all be back to normal and hopefully her clown wouldn’t notice a thing. She could enjoy just one more moment of the party. As soon as her fingers touched his cheeks Robert leaned down and locked his lips with her’s letting out a soft groan into her mouth. She didn't think it was possible for him to get more slobbery and sloppy with his kisses but here he was smearing her shimmery dark lipstick all over his own lips and grabbing at her ringmaster costume with greed. He moved to her jaw sucking and nipping at her skin determined to leave some fresh marks on her. Leech gasped when his teeth pinched her skin and ran her fingers through his hair she managed to find her voice and mumbled “Hey, we’re gonna have to stop and go somewhere else soon, everyone is watching.” Robert grabbed some skin from her neck in his teeth and came off her with a wet pop “That’s the point.” he growled and went back to leaving hickies on her flesh. One of Leech’s eyes lazily opened “Pen-“ before she could finish trying to convince him to relocate she had to cut herself off when her vision finally focused. Her body went stiff when she saw who was in the crowd and it wasn't the halloween god Samhain. It was someone that should be long dead, and he was staring directly at her.

------------------------------------

Uh oh WHO COULD IT BEEEEEE! Lol get ready for an extremely violent bar fight kids, shits about to get messy.

[carmineclock]

> Once upon like a lifetime ago

Scratch 11/11/2018

And so a hush descends upon the city. A shared humbling sending all the dogs - and cats, back home to lick their wounds. You should feel glad for the quiet, it might mean you can finally get some sleep. But despite the wave of temporary peace, you feel unsettled. Theres something in the air. The smell of change, and you dont like it. Its partially your fault, of course. You should have crushed this particular seed of hate a long time ago. At first it seemed like the playings at a relationship, so you'd written it off. But things have progressed far beyond what you expected. How petty do you have to be to hold a grudge for so long. Ahem. Anyway, you have been preparing for the night with your favorite bow tie. The whole Nepeta, Fin, Trace 'thing' has been so volatile you'd really not wanted to go near it with a ten foot pole. As long as they did as their job. But now. You're pissed. A message was sent out to the three regarding Nepeta, inviting them into your office for a discussion. Despite your earlier invitations, this was more like a summons. So you set about preparing the tea, a glass for each of them, three chairs set meticulously in front of your desk for a nice friendly conversation. As an afterthought, you leave the door ajar, a little test to set the mood. That done, you wait.

Trace 11/11/2018

The summon was to be expected. Yet, you really hoped it would be long in coming. But no such luck. Well, fortunately a wheelchair seems to exist. That makes things much easier, even if the stairs are still... a challenge. But you all manage somehow and eventually you get Nepeta down to Scratch's office, where you just quietly push her inside.

Nepeta 11/11/2018

You had been expecting it too, yes. Or to put it more accurately: dreading it. Of course Scratch would eventually talk to you personally about this, you are not stupid. You are aware you only got off the hook so easily last time because of Snowman. Seems that you luck is running out. You are visibly nervous and uncomfortable on the way to his office, seeking out the hand of one your sharks at all times. But eventually you do reach the office and you are not foolish enough to face Scratch while holding hands like a silly little girls. You gulp and try to steel yourself for what's to come. Not like you have much of a choice.

Fin 11/11/2018

The first thing in your head is “i shouldn’t be here” and you really shouldn’t , for once you did nothing wrong but you are sort of worried about Nepeta and Trace because of course he will be worried about her so it’s a chain of people being worried for each other. ”It’s going to be fine, he will probably bark to you for the Droog shit, demand you to stop and be done with it” you shrug trying to diminish the importance of whatever will happen behind those doors. “I already got a bottle of wine waiting for us in the room after this if shit goes bad” You sigh loudly before stepping into the office.

Scratch 11/11/2018

You are sitting at your desk as they walk in, doing your best to look as calm and welcoming as possible. Tonight isnt just about punishment, its about improvement. Kicking someone while they're down rarely motivates, its about reshaping. Its what you'd hoped would happen under Snowman's tutelage. Not to say she did poorly, of course. She did her best. This is solely in the hands of the young troll, the potential she has that hopefully hasnt been thrown away. "Please, sit. You may move aside the chairs." For Nepetas wheelchair. As amusing a spectacle it would be to see Trace lift her and put her into the chair, or for Fin to try, better to just leave well enough alone. "I'm sure you know why you're here. Lets try not to draw this out with unnecessary drama, if it can be helped.  Who would like to start."

Trace 11/11/2018

As soon as he gives permission, you go to work and move some of the chairs aside so you can push Nepeta inbetween them. "Start with what exactly?" you ask as you take a seat yourself.  "How Droog can't leave his dirty fingers off her? First he kidnaps her for petty reasons, which - mind you - are mostly me, then back at the festival he can't help provoke her until someone finally makes him shut up, and not this." You gesture vaguely at Nepeta and the wheelchair. "A vicious backstabbing in a moment of mutual hardship and asssistance. He had a chance to end this and very much refused." Yeah, Nepeta can definitely speak for herself, but you know she's just as anxious about this as you, if not more. Plus, if Doc gets mad at anyone for talking back, you'd rather that one be yourself. "I know you're trying to tell us this needs to stop, but the thing is she never started any of this. So the question should rather be how you intend to keep this sadistic bastard away from us." Despite your words, your voice is fairly calm. Not much need to fake there, either, since the events have left you fairly tired and exhausted.

Nepeta 11/11/2018

It's a good thing that Trace is talking. You are not sure if you could, words were never your biggest talent. Where he has his way with them you usually prefer action... Which is exactly why you are here isn't it? You almost want to stop him, you raise your hand and open your mouth even, but nothing comes out. What do you even have to say? You just want this meeting to be over. "I'm...I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused, Sir." It's not much. Your voice is far too quiet to really belong to you. You feel like a kid facing their mad parent, and in a way you are. Trace might be able to talk to Scratch like this but you? You are terrified of him.  And you know did wrong.

Fin 11/11/2018

You take a seat and cross your arms over your chest, your entire body is in a position of bitch i will fight everything you say so you rather leave the talk to Trace, he is the one with the big words in this relationship. “Yeah because knowing that leech he won’t stop sucking until she’s dead” you add. “and it’s not fair we have to stand here and watch.”

Scratch 11/11/2018

You listen quietly as each takes their turn to speak, studying them as you sip your tea. Always so defensive right away. You havent accused them of anything yet. "To start off with, check your tone, Three." You shoot him an icy look. " I havent told you anything yet. In fact I would say I've been almost lenient in regards to this quarrel you have. All three of you. I've stayed well and truly out of the way because it was absolutely going to end up a mess. And here we are. Let me ask. Is there a good reason to kidnap? You cant justify amoral things based on your own code of ethics and expect others to adhere to them. So thats how it started. Nepeta was made his victim and you blamed yourself so you got involved. I assume Five was made to be involved just for being connected to her. The question isnt, actually, how am I going to keep him away. Because the answer to it is too simple. I cant. I may be  a man of many talents, but Diamonds is outside my realm of influence. The question, similarly, is not what do I now do with a troublemakers and their grudges. The question that needs to be asked is actually, why did it ever get this far. Ah, see, now theres a far more interesting answer, dont you think?"

Trace 11/11/2018

"Why don't we invite him over so he can tell you? I thought I already explained as much. He's not letting off despite several warnings, and unfortunately the Crew's second-in-command isn't killed that easily, so here we are." You give Fin. Such. A look. What happened of acting like we're not out for blood. You sigh. "Fin is right. This isn't fair."

November 12, 2018

Nepeta 11/12/2018

It's funny, you aren't usually timid by any stretch of the imagination. But right now? Facing Scratch? You are not the fierce predator you want to be. You are reduced to nothing but a scared kitten under his cold stare. The fact that you are vulnerable physically and mentally right doesn't help one bit of course. Fin and Trace are so much louder than you but you do mumble an answer. "I..I lost my temper last time, sir. It won't happen again." The fact that you are apologizing despite the fact that you were already harshly punished by the loss of your legs doesn't even occur to you. You are just scared to get kicked out or worse.

Fin 11/12/2018

Trace’s look reminds of you the plan yourself set for the two. Damn. Well you can’t take those words back now, at least try to act like it’s not a big deal that you really think ain’t fair but you won’t do anything about it, so you look back at him and shrug then lean back on your table and nod at Nepeta's words. You really don't have much to add.

Scratch 11/12/2018

"I forget when the world was ever fair. I didnt realize we dealt in justice and fairness. Is it fair that a perfectly good warrior wastes her formative years on hate when she is brimming with potential? Is it fair that Diamonds started it and now  wont finish it, preferring to play with the shattered pieces of what remains?" The sentence ends sharply,with more heat than you wanted. You sense yourself getting worked up and ease it back a bit. "No, its not. And as much as it hurts, life goes on." You're speaking more directly to Nepeta now, though you're still facing Trace. "You've made your cases. I want a word alone with Ms. Leijon."

Trace 11/12/2018

You grimace some at his response. While it is nice and somewhat rare to hear a compliment like that from him, especially for your beloved girlfriend, it's.. kinda bittersweet, considering the situation. There's more things you want to say, more questions you got for him, especially about what options there are for her now. What plans he got, if any. But you realize these are things you may be able to ask either of them afterwards, so you nod quietly and raise from your seat. You give Nepeta a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder in passing, then leave the room, where you will wait right next to the door.

Nepeta 11/12/2018

Was that...A compliment? You certainly did not expect that at all. Scolding, a punishment, getting thrown on the streets, sure, but a compliment? You don't exactly know what to make of it. You gulp when he asks Fin and Trace to leave. You really don't want to be alone with Scratch, but it's not like you have a choices. Trace's gestures is appreciated but can't exactly ease the anxiety you are dealing with now.

Fin 11/12/2018

Really was that all?. This makes you even more worried for whatever he gotta tell her in private, was he just trying not to make it look like a big deal and will lash out to her when you two are gone or are you just being dramatic as always. You sigh and get up  but before you go you give a quick smooch to Nepeta’s cheek and a pat in the head then leave the room to join Trace outside. Time for the bouncy leg show as you wait.

Scratch 11/13/2018

The prey have gone, leaving only the preditors remaining. So you'd like to think, anyway. Once youre alone, the door closing sharply behind them, you stand. A slow movement, non aggresssive. Despite your distaste for cats, you know their behaviors. You move around your desk and take a seat in a vacated chair across from her. Eye level, face to face. "May I be frank, Ms. Leijon. I dont want this to come off as just another scolding. You've exceeded all expectations, and with the right guidence you could become something fierce. Thats what I wanted for you when Madam Snowman took you under her wing. And it makes me wonder why someone like you would want to waste so much energy on a grudge. Its clear you realize what you're doing is wrong, so why cant you move on. How much more are you going to let this revenge war take from you?" Its a genuine question. You hope your words come across as somewhat genuine. How you must look in her eyes to make her cower so.

Nepeta 11/13/2018

You don't think you've ever gotten this close to Scratch. It's a weird feeling, to have his attention all on you. Despite being a cat you feel more like a mouse. Trapped. At the mercy of a far bigger predator. It's funny, physically there's no question that you are stronger than him, perhaps even in your current state. Mentally though? And that's the kind of game you are playing here. With Scratch it always is, isn't it? You don't quite trust his words. You are used to far harsher words, not just from him. But to be told you have potential? That you are useful? You want to believe that's sincere. In a way you have to. It's hard to look him in the eyes though. "I know... I know this can't go on. I know this can't keep on escalating or it will destroy us..Me and Fin and Trace. I know that." You do. You had plenty of time to think about it in the past days. "But he wronged me. He hurt me, he used me to hurt them. And the he mocked me for my anger. Tried to play it off as some cute little game we play, tried to push me into some weird black situation." It's hard to hide your anger when you talk about him. Your face twists into and ugly scowl and your anxiety is almost forgotten. "I know it was wrong. I just wanted.. No I needed to show him that I'm not just his toy. I'm not going to play his shitty games anymore. I'm not going to just let him get away with it. I can't do that. I can't let him."

Scratch 11/13/2018

You listen in silence until she finishes. So much pain in her voice for someone so young. Diamonds is as much to blame as Nepeta is, of course. Such a waste of time and effort on a silly game. "I know. He wronged you, and the humiliation you felt being helpless at his hands was something you never want to feel again. And you tried to show him, and maybe sometimes you did, but he eggs you on. And you eat up his every words because your hate is blinding you. Of course you hate him. But let that push you to be better. Smarter. Look at your enemy and study their weaknesses. Look at your own limitations and strengths openly. Are you as strong as Diamonds now? No. But one day could you be?" You sit back in your chair, relaxed posture. Let her have a think on that. "As far as Droog is concerned, you are his toy. Because every little provokation gets a response. Something to stir the pot with. Is it fair that your honest emotion is used against you? No. But we learn. We grow. Every time you let that anger get the better of you,you give Droog everything he wants."

Nepeta 11/13/2018

That...all actually makes perfect sense. It's something to think about indeed. It's obvious you are doing just that by the way you  knit your brows and chew on your lips. "You are right Sir. And I've been trying. I've been trying so damn hard to ignore him. Even when I met him at the festival, I tried to keep it low but then...He just had to show off his damn trophies.  And I just lost it. I just..." You make a frustrated sound somewhere between a groan and a growl. "I want him dead. I want to be the one who ends him. That's my end goal, not...Not what has been happening lately. I know it's not the time to kill him yet. That's why I didn't, even when I could have. " You sigh. "I know I have to work on this. Channel my anger into something more useful. For myself, for them.  It's been... It's been hard."

Scratch 11/13/2018

You're getting there. Slowly, you're unraveling this complicated web of emotion and hate, and laying it before you in neat, workable strands. Its been a while since you deigned to work one on one with someone, after the whole Itchy thing you'd been working on for years went up in smoke. It was always going to be volatile at best. "I do understand, you know. How hard it is. Learning to adapt in any environment can be difficult, but trying to adjust yourself in the midst of those two acting like you're infallable and that nothing is wrong. Getting contrasting validation  for emotions you think you have no control over. And you're right. Nepeta, you cant control your emotions." Its a lesson you try to teach all your children. Not that she has suddenly joined those ranks, of course, but its worth her knowing. "You cant control your emotions, that is why they are emotions. They happen naturally, without warning or apology. You cant ignore Droog because to do so is to tell yourself that your emotions arent there, and we must never do that. We have to take agency over what we can control, which is our reaction to our emotions. Be honest with yourself. Accept that these emotions are there, and that you know theyre strong, and that they hurt, but that you can move forward even with the pain. Tell your heart that your brain hears and understands whats its going through."

You put a hand to your chest, where your heart would be, and sigh quietly. You cant bear to see youth wasted, thats the whole reason for this in the first place. Its why you take in kids and reshape them. They end up lost, otherwise. Like Nepeta. Hopefully its not too late for her. "Learn to control your reactions to your emotions, while still accepting theyre there and so powerful. Its okay to get angry, but if you let the anger consume you, you lose yourself. It becomes all you are, all you ever will be,  and I speak personally when I say that is not something I want to happen. More importantly, though, nothing will stick it to Droog more than seeing his 'little toy' stay cool under his pressures for an explosion."

Nepeta 11/13/2018

He just has to keep making sense doesn't he? You listen to everything he says, the feeling of guilt clearly written on your face. He's right and you know it. You feel ashamed that you have to be told all of this but he is right. It takes a you a moment to reply. "I will... I will work on it, sir. " You don't quite want to admit out loud to Scratch that you think he is right abut Fin and Trace's role in this too. It's true, you have been fueling each others rage instead of calming each other down. That's not what Moirails are supposed to do and it just now starts to dawn on you. "I can't let Droog ruin us like that, I know that. He doesn't deserve that privilege. And in time... We will get our revenge. Good things come those who wait yes? " You hope that is what he wants to hear. Both because you suddenly feel like you care much more about his opinion and because you want to avoid possible punishment. You won't ever not want Droog dead but you know the Felt are going to be the winning team in this war. You have to believe that after all. The alternative isn't something you even want to spend a thought on.

Scratch 11/13/2018

She has the right idea, anyway. All of this emotional nonsense only matters if the person involved is willing to put in the effort to change. Its not enough to just know what you have to do, its having the strength and willpower go through with it. No matter how difficult. Now if you were her teacher...well, it depends on the pupil as well. Some just refuse to be taught. "And while we're waiting, we can plan. I know what you must think of me, Ms. Leijon. I dont make myself very easy to like, and I apologize if my men gave you the wrong idea about me. I am here to support the Felt, which you are very much a part of. I want you to be the best you can be, and I know how to help you become that. If you'll allow me, I can start you down the path that will lead to your future. And if you decide that future holds a Diamonds-based revenge, then so be it." You put up a hand at the end of your sentence, a little sharply, but mostly for effect. You want her to take her time with this one. "Don't give me your answer now. Consider everything I've said. Consider how you are right now, and what you want to be in the future. If you cant picture it, ask yourself why. Take the next few days to really think about my proposition. I may not be able to offer you everything you want, but I can give you anything you need. If you dont want my help, you have to find a way to show me you're serious about becoming a better version of yourself."

This is the turning point. You've set the line out after successfully detangling the scenario. At this point you're almost more mad at Trace and Fin for their roles in this. A girl is traumatized by a kidnapping to the point she has to spend her life on payback to cope with the pain and fear she felt, and these two idiots are sitting there encouraging her instead of trying to calm her rage. "Until you have an answer, you're temporarily shelved. You may continue to live in the mansion because my philosophy is to generally take pity on the differently abled,plus you match the carpets, but I wont have you going out into the field where your actions represent and threaten my entire business. I will not continue waste any more medical equipment or personnel, or time on this. No flashy punishments, just a cut off. I'd say your own actions have punished you far more than I ever could. And if you do manage to find a way to fix whats been done, consider it a gift not to be wasted."

Nepeta 11/13/2018

You open your mouth to protest the whole shelving thing but...You can't really protest that at all can you? He's right about everything. You are useless right now in any event, so it's not even a big difference. But your need to be useful is just so damn high it barely slips anyways. You swallow the protests down and answer. "Yes, sir. I have...I have a lot to think about." Mostly about what you think of Scratch and your relationship with Fin and Trace. You never expected to get out of this talk with some sort of? Respect? For Scratch budding in your mind. Or that you would begin to question how stable your pale relationship is. It really is quite a lot to process.

Scratch 11/13/2018

Good. You hope she will think about it, and not let the opinions of those around her sway her choices. This all could have gone far worse, so you're glad for that. Maybe she'll listen. Maybe she wont. But the offer has been handed across the table, nothing left to do but wait. "Yes, you do. Now, as far as those two are concerned, you may tell them as little or as much as you wish to. Just make sure whatever you bring to me as your answer is because of your choices, not theirs." That said, you pat her twice on the head, smile, and stand. Back around the desk you go, taking your seat for the continuation of the trial. "Alright, gentleman, you can come back in." You call to your door, knowing full well that theyve been standing outside the entire time. With ears pressed to the wall, no doubt.

Trace 11/13/2018

You didn't listen in, at least not on purpose, and they've talked fairly quiet most of the time (which is as much unsettling as it is relieving). But you trust Nepeta to tell you all that is important. (Though, you also know well Scratch can play with someone's mind and you worry about all the subtle things he may try put into her head.) Anyway, you give Fin a nod and open the door again and walk up to right behind Nepeta, eyes on Doc. "Anything else?"

November 14, 2018

Fin 11/14/2018

You would usually be the kind to even bring the glass to not miss a word but not right now. You figured that Nepeta would bitch all about it later and the sound of your bouncy leg on the floor was enough to keep you entertained for the time beings. You go in and stand next to Nepeta hand on her shoulder.  Somehow it feels strange that the air is not filled with either fear or anger or any of the sort. Makes you regret not to have listened with more attention.

Scratch 11/14/2018

"Nepeta has been shelved. Until such a time as previously discussed between us, she will not partake in any field work. Along with that, until then, I am barring her from Felt resources in regards to any future problems with Droog or otherwise. And let me just say this plainly, as I'm sure you and I will be speaking privately soon, Trace. Shame on you. Shame on both of you. Choosing to care about your own emotions over whats best for you partner. And if you didnt know, or chose not to realize, then you're idiots. Dissmissed, all of you."

[fireinyourmouth]

help idk how to face my responsibilities. 

I know that there are things that need to be done that balance my bottom line and grow my connections to the web of people around me. But I keep doing things that would result in much of the opposite.  I don’t know if it’s absentmindedness with a lack of follow-through. Or if i’m just careless. I’d like to think that im not careless because all my undone things give me a ton of anxiety.  I’m too afraid to check my email because i know theres a lot of time sensitive information in there that I should have dealt with like last week. And knowing that makes me feel bad about myself because checking and responding to emails is so damn easy! I mean, most things I do are friken easy. Research papers? They drudge on, but I don’t think theres anything there that is actually difficult to do or find, they just take more persistence than normal things.  I digress, checking emails and checking back with people is an easy thing to do. but instead I avoid it and make myself anxious over the fact that I haven’t done it. communication. why do i feel anxiety over things?over simple things. over things that previously used to not give me anxiety.  more than a few times i have caught up on all of the social and clerical work related to the social stuff, and every time i tell myself that i wont let it slip again. of course, i don’t expect myself to be perfect about it. But when one thing ONE thing comes up, it’s not out of the ordinary for me to freeze up on it and not respond for a few weeks. why? this behavior makes me think that I am afraid of people,,, or at least communicating with them.  I think this folly is one of the major things that keeps me from functioning like a viable adult. I need to be better about it. And at least I know that. But it’s so frustrating to be aware of a thing and still not be able to follow it. I want to follow it.  If i do, maybe i can enjoy the things i like to do again.  because otherwise, I’m drowning in guilt from the things not done. 

and.. starting is just one email away. why am i so scared? I mean, no one is going to be straight up mean to me. not mean in the terrifying sense like when people would yell at me as a kid. but i think the adult version of that is burning social bridges by making yourself seem unaccountable. it makes the people on the other side not want to affiliate with you in any profitable or meaningful way. which is terrifying in my adult frame of mind. and knowing that i haven’t responded to the emails makes me feel like i know what they think of me. Of course I can’t know what other people conclude about my weirdo behavior or how it will change how they choose to interact with me. but it isn’t positive for me, I am pretty sure.  perhaps im scared to email because i feel like i am walking into a situation that in my mind i have already ruined. and i know i haven’t permanently ruined anything besides a spotless accountability reputation. when i put it that way, it makes me feel like i haven’t screwed up anything too major. And I suppose one bridge at a time isn’t a major thing at all. but i know how often i have ghosted when i really should not have. And I keep thinking about all of the opportunities that i have unknowingly forfeited because of my anxiety.  every day i feel the life i have failed to live. I shouldn’t be so upset. more opportunities will come my way. and maybe i did choose to take a low road compared to what my wants and talents would put me at. And im not saying that its for a reason, honestly. I blame my negligence. It all winds back to the same thing. I will reach my ends. I will live my entire life in the best way i can; which is not standing in my own way. I will feel like in the end i have done the right things because i did arrive at the ends. but that doesn’t mean that i don’t feel like i am irreparably fucking up in the mean time.  what i am scared of is that i will unknowingly deliberately miss out on the life my soul is pulling me to live. I’m afraid that i wont be aware of it. And I’m afraid that i will feel accomplished and fulfilled without doing what I am here on earth to do. 

i am afraid i will feel no regrets for a life that i was not intended to live.

what i really need to do is put myself in a life that will fulfill what i am supposed to do here. that way i wont feel like im just spinning my wheels while convincing myself that im happy. the money will come in time. i need to focus on my ends and not my means, because i can work it out. i love being dingy and poor. (tf?)

okay. so i feel pressured to enter into a portfolio building job right out of college. but deep down i don’t feel that it’s the right path for me. but not being employed in my field out of college when i easily could be feels like burning one of the most major bridges i possibly could. getting an early start feels so important. I mean, that’s why i went to college right out of high school. I’m afraid going to work in an upward bound carrier is signing up for the working world equivalent of school.  the thing that pisses me off about school is that it takes a lot of my prime energy and the BEST hours of the daytime away from me– by my own will!  It’s ridiculous. I’m supposed to work and work and work until i am able to be comfortable while not working. I need to reconcile how to claim my own time and energy for myself while also being able to sustain my life, like food, and rent, and travel and heck. I’m not tryna not work. I’m tryna have work for me.  the terrifying part about all of this in my case is that work, the leeching kind, is fun. it’s going into the community and meeting people and getting recognition for all my beautiful work is great. but that doesn’t change the fact that it still takes most of my hours and energy. It’s fulfilling in its own sense to do such interesting things all the time, and for that im thankful. but it is not the fulfillment that i crave. i dont think its what im intended to do. It puts a gut wrenching feeling inside of me. similar to the feeling i felt when i knew i had to break up with him. He made me happy. He gave me what i wanted out of a committed lover. but it’s not the fulfillment that i need to sate. it hurt me to realize that.  and it hurts me to know that solely working as a photographer or a writer is not what is going to fulfill me in the way that i need to be.  I’m not lazy. I don’t want to do nothing. But having the freedom to do nothing is freedom to fill it with anything i want. And I want to be able to do that guilt free. And I want it to sustain me. it seems like a tall request. because the only path i see that does that is a novelist or a freeloader on my parents.

I feel deep down that i am supposed to meet up with a smallish community of people that are all moving in the same general direction. I don’t know what or why. But i know those human connections are what will give me what i need. the goals and the process will naturally follow. I feel like i need to be there. I don’t know where or why, but i feel like i can help them. i am definitely drawn to something out there. too bad i have no fuckin clue who or what it is.  and maybe, a job in my field is what will put me in the vicinity of those people. Here’s my catch, I can feel right and fulfilled with most anyone who has a clear direction and is actively moving towards it. my saving grace is what my gut tells me.  I’m just afraid that i will never find what fulfills it.  Even worse, I’m afraid that my gut could be wrong.  (but of course that implies that there is a for sure correct destination that i am supposed to land at. and the correct destination could be thousands of different places and circumstances, but i feel that i have a fate waiting for me. And i am afraid that it is always delicately hanging in the balance, on the precipice of impossibility; at the mercy of one mistake. I always feel like i could do some one crucial thing to fuck up my purpose and influence in (and on) this life, completely unaware. and still be happy.) that is simply terrifying.