#i dont really have much of a close relation to him other than blood related

[rottingcompost]

Extremely funny how when I told my grandma that the only person in the family who i wouldnt come out to is my grandpa on moms side (grandmas ex husband) she wasnt even surprised on multiple levels. Funny but also pretty sad that she understands why I dont trust him enough to tell him more about myself lmao.

[oars]

hiii I want to know more about appindex 👉👈

what is his relationship like with the other party members?

How easily does she trust other people?

If they are stressed or upset is there a thing/place/action that is comforting to him?

also anything else you want to share?

(I LOVE her design by the way, their appearance immediately caught my attention. Love your use of color too)

sorry this took me so long i swear when i saw this ask i started squealinf abd looking like this

gonna put it under a read more since um im gonna assume this will get really long lol

disclaimer im gonna straight spill my thoughts sorry if things stop making sense

i made a small comic just for the first question but tumblr doesnt like it for some reason and it prevents it from showing up unless you go directly to my blog :<

anyways i think overall appindex is like a mother of at least 6. companions come to them in the middle of the night like "i frew up :(" that typa thing

since family/clan n loyalty is very important to dragonborn and appindex just lost theirs before being abducted they are very quick to attach to these losers

i think while appin is not under the control of any god, lord, devil, etc they've created a personal hell of his own bc he tries to bear all responsibilities and burdens of those around him bc he's scared of failing and losing too much again. or all he has left really. that can make them kind of overbearing and it would be annoying if like the main companions didn't have issues and lowkey liked the attention.

what does get annoying is that it comes off as appindex not trusting their companions to do any heavy lifting but that improves in like act 2-3 especially since that's around the part the tav is expected to save baldurs gate. and the world like that's way too much weight for appin to carry on their own without breaking so atp they don't really have a choice but to let their companions share some of that albeit verrrry reluctantly

slightly more specific relations ---

shadowheart: shart is the first appin gets close to even if shes older i like to think she's like a little sister to appindex anyways <3 i should just show screenshots of the epilogue conversation bc it feels so fitting. probably one of the only companions to recognize appin's exhaustion and nag her

karlach: close in a years long tumblr mutual type intimacy way. "i'd let my mutuals come inside idc" type relationship. they occasionally sleep and cuddle naked. as good friends do. it's nice having someone they could rely on for literal heavy lifting and hitting bc in appin's eyes the rest of his companions are made of sticks and paper, save for lae'zel. girls who rip off heads with their bare hands and paint their nails in the blood :3

astarion: i do not know how to explain their relationship early on bc it fluctuates in my head. obviously irritated by how appin stops to help anyone and everyone especially since most of those people in act 1 are parents and children. appindex definitely laughs at his lame ass "seduction" bc it's pretty see through; it becomes less about seducing and just aiming making them laugh. appin probably said "im proud of you" at some point and it got to his head now he's vying for their attention and validation (get in line). my white hollow boned elf i'd probably give my organs to if he asked - appin

i think appindex is the more mature one, mentally and emotionally, especially since dragonborn develop and mature much earlier than elves do and i feel like dying young and being under cazador's control stunted astarions own maturity a bit. the result is appindex treating him like a child sometimes; not trusting him to do a number of things, scolding him,"dont treating me like a child" "dont act like one" etc etc. i think at some point he just does it and wears on appindex's extensive patience on purpose because he's a little freak like that :/. appin does not think its cute

ok no more of them next question

i think appindex is pretty trusting in a way. if they feel like they have no reason to feel threatened by someone they'll have their trust but that doesn't mean it can't be lost ofc. which is why they trust laezel and astarion so easily. why would they be scared of a tiny white elf who can't even get them to knife point (he failed that).

he does struggle to trust others to do things for them though, if he were ever to be out of commission or on the verge of it it would be like pulling teeth to try and get him to let someone else lead temporarily.

appin holds onto a piece of kednyr's old blanket bc it still smells like her :thumbs_up: karlach gives her a teddy bear with that piece attached to it as a gift. astarion may have helped but he will not confirm

extra notes ermm appin lived in the upper city, not a patriar or a servant, they just co-run an expensive smithy there.

as a passionate blacksmith (and someone who wants to become an artificer) appin is really intrigued by karlach's engine and wishes they could collaborate with dammon on how to fix it or make her a new one entirely

to add onto that he's extremely fascinated by the grymforge in the underdark its like a theme park to him. it is their nerdiest point in the storyline

they can stay underwater for a good period of time; an hour is their highest time

andd she has a prosthetic leg around age 40-45 sorry this got so long . this things in my head 24/7 rn i tried to omit some things to make it shorter but oh well

[2af-afterdark]

licking eyeballs for erotic gratification

i dont wear them often but i have contacts and this is horrifying. i demand a fic of him licking your eyeballs only for your contact to fall out

Everyone stand back! I'm going to try writing crack and that can only end poorly (because I do not have a whimsical bone in my body).

Tags: Andrealphus x MC, Badly written crack, eye licking, mentions of spitting in mouths, MC swears

"That sounds absolutely disgusting," you deadpanned when he asked you if he could lick your eyeball. "Do you know how many germs are in a mouth? Do you know how much germs want to get into my body through all my orifices? Why would I make it easy for them? Plus, I don't want a close up view of what you ate for lunch."

"I literally spat in your mouth the other day. You swallowed it."

"Yeah, but that's hot. Especially when you called me a filthy whore."

He sighed. "You really are related to him."

No need to play the pronoun game on that one, because him could only ever refer to one person in that context.

"Yo, leave my grandpa and/or past life out of this. Our kinks are between us," you wagged your finger quickly between him and you, "and there is no faster mood killer than thinking about your (very distantly related) grandparents judging you from beyond the grave." Except Solomon would probably be proud of you for being able to still get it. He was a bigger horndog than even you were.

"I won't force you, so if you don't want to-"

"Oh no. I'll do it. It just sounds disgusting." You emphasized the final word in a way that made it sound more like disgoosting.

You took his hand and pulled it against your cheek so he could feel where you were. You let his thumb brush against your bottom eyelid so he could get a feel for the structure of your face. He used his pointer and middle finger to pull at your eyelids and force them to stay open. Then, he leaned in.

When he was close like this, you could actually smell how much he reeked. Well, it wasn't him so much as it was the dead things littering his clothing. The wing on his back needed to be replaced soon because the muscles and flesh were clearly starting to go bad. Plus, there was just... so much blood that tickled your senses and made you grimace.

But you let him get closer anyway and watched as his tongue lulled out of his mouth like some kind of fat, slimy, pink worm. You instinctually wanted to blink, but only one eye closed while the other was forced to keep watching as the tip of his tongue finally made contact.

You had no idea what a tongue against your eyeball was supposed to feel like, but it reminded you of a sponge scraping against a plastic dish. Honestly, it felt like something was rubbing against your cornea and was really uncomfortable.

"Okay. That's enough," you finally said when you couldn't take it anymore.

He huffed and hummed before drawing back. When he was far enough away, you realized something concerning.

"Oh shit! You're blurry." You looked around the room, taking in the half-crisp, half-fuzzy edges of the furniture. "Scratch that. Everything is blurry."

Andrealphus chewed something in his mouth for a moment, swishing it back and forth before sticking his fingers in his mouth and pulling out a small, clear, circular piece of plastic. He squished the thing between his fingers as he faced forward blankly.

"I have no idea what this is."

"That, my sweet Andrealphus, is called a contact lens and explains why I can't see shit right now." You took the contact from him, staring down at it still glistening with saliva. "I am not putting this back in." In fact, you would probably get a new pair altogether.

"Here." You grabbed his hand, put the contact into his palm, and closed his fingers around it. "You can keep it."

"And what am I supposed to do with it?"

"I dunno, but I don't want it."

"Truly you are the spirit of generosity," he said with no expression on his face or in his voice whatsoever.

"Was that sarcasm?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Even though he was still speaking bluntly, it was clear that he was pouting in his own special way.

"Oh, don't be like that." You grabbed the hand you hadn't put the contact in and put it against your face so he could feel your smile. "I love it when you're having fun. Won't you smile for me? Please? You're so handsome when you smile."

"You're incorrigible." But he chuckled and gave a small smile anyway. Very small. Nearly microscopic.

"There it is." You leaned into him and planted a kiss against the side of his mouth. "Your kink is weird though."

"So is yours."

"Yeeeeah. I know."

But he indulged you anyway, just like you would him... as long as you remembered to take the contacts out first.

[ryemackerel]

in my funny headcanon au (it still doesnt have a name RIP…), i find it so sweet that the youngsters from benchtrio look up to tntduo as inspirational figures. of course since benchtrio are still teens, tntduo are already well into their adult years, like early/mid 30s.

tubbo, tommy, and ranboo are all naive ol folks. all of them being younger than 18, none of them know any better. and ofc being a bunch of dumb kids, usually they love making mistakes, LOTS of them. however, their past traumatic experiences put all of them in a position where they can’t properly enjoy their teenagehood, stripped of their innocence really.

ranboo struggling with recollecting his past and facing the heartwrenching possibility of being an escaped lab experiment, even though for years theyve always believed they had a true family back at his homeland. however, they struggle with knowing that they never did.

tubbo shielding himself off from his loved ones, avoiding intimacy and masking his emotions as much as possible, heavy memories stemming from his rough childhood living with schlatt.

tommy still recovering from the grief of losing his older brother, overwhelmed with the thought of his family splitting apart again, and recovering from his own death from years back.

although their lives have improved so much more now, their pasts still dwell in the background. as teens, these three always strive to seek others that can truly understand them, find some common ground and relatability with others that have dealt with issues just as difficult as theirs. i feel like that’s why benchtrio bonds so closely with tntduo and attaches to wilbur and quackity so much.

being old as they are now, wilbur and quackity have gone through so much. wilbur with post-revival, quackity with openness, both with rough pasts. in a way, i feel like all of them got along because of these shared experiences.

tommy has always stuck with wilbur since the day tommy was born, basically siblings of the same blood that you can never break apart. wilbur was the very person that raised tommy until they found phil. she helped tommy through his worst times as a kid, and after revival it was tommy that helped wilbur out of the mess he was in.

both tubbo and quackity dealt with how schlatt treated them. tubbo almost looks up to quackity as a father because of how much he understands him.

ranboo doesnt look up to a specific person in particular, but has always wanted a place to fit in. after meeting the sbi, tubbo, and quackity, thats where he started feeling like he truly belonged.

i have no specific name for this au, but i love to think about the connections all of the characters have with each other, and thats been the main subject of the au. like one huge hub of folks that have found ways to get along, almost slice of life-ish, where although everyone still has their own issues, theyre all trying their best to enjoy their lives and recover. healing au? revival? i really dont know if i can find names that arent already taken, might need some help BWHAGAH! thank you lots for reading! :)

[marshmallowprotection]

OMGOMGOMG KAIT YOUR VAMPIRE RAY CONTENT JUST GOT MY HEAD BUZZING WITH BRAINROTS AND IDEAS HHHH okayokay so i dont remember which media is this from but its also related to vampire stuff where the vampire gave a locket with a few drops of their blood in them as a sign of courting to their significant other. what if we reverse that? what if mc gave the locket with their blood to ray as a keepsake or something?

I am so happy to hear that it's got your brain buzzing with all kinds of ideas! I love Vampire AUs. I've played around with it before in the past but this is the first time I've written one for Readers to enjoy the idea first, instead of me with my CMC content. Now, I've seen this idea in a few different pieces of media before but none of the ones that I've consumed firsthand.

So, so far, with everything that I've established in this specific universe, your blood is better than anything else in the world to Ray. It is so strong that he cannot go too long without it, because for whatever reason, you are the sweetest treat to ever come close to him and he is utterly insatiable after he gets to have a taste for the first time.

Even being away from you for long periods of time it's difficult because it’s not just your blood that haunts him. It’s your scent. The more time he spends away from you, the more his entire body begins to twitch and tremble, begging for the smallest piece of you to float his way. 

The desire inside of him grows stronger and stronger the longer he's away from you, and if he's kept away from you just long enough, it physically pains him. You are everything to him, and no amount of trying to drink other blood will erase that fact. So, in this case, would having a bit of your blood on hand keep him under control? That's an interesting thought piece. 

Because, on the one hand, having that around could help him in a pinch, and it might be just enough to keep him going so he doesn't show any sign of what you really are to him in front of his savior; On the other hand? What if that amount only serves to make him want more? What if it's just enough to make him lose control?

Because, he would do everything in his power to make sure he would never do such a thing, but if his instincts take over, there's only so much he can do to stop himself. And if he put you in a position where you got hurt because of that, he would never ever be able to forgive himself. Ray brought you to this place because the very last thing he wanted to happen was see you in misery. 

So, I think at the end of the day, it's going to come down to your choice. If you think it's a good idea to give him something that will give him the ability to tide himself over no matter how long he has to stay away from you, then you should do it. But, if you see that it's only making things harder for him, try and take it away. He might not let you do that.

It's not that he would want to tell you no, it's just that the idea of not being able to be with you at all, even with a part of you, feels wrong. He would do everything in his power to not drink everything in that vial, but it's possible he might just crack now and again and you'll have to refill it for his sake, even if he tells you not to, because you're just that kind of that person aren't you?

[catmaidetho]

not really an etho question but related, do you have headcanons about redstone :? like, its toxicity, its effect on skin, maybe etho has some redstone related injuries or his skin is just fucked up cuz of it. or if you don't have your own headcanons, which ones do u like??

i got pinned in a discord server for very plainly saying, "all redstoners are insane because they have radiation poisoning." because redstone is absolutely radioactive. it's mostly stable, the way plutonium is, but if you power that shit? why do you think it glows? that's radioactivity, baby!!!

it won't kill you, and the average minecrafter probably won't experience any detrimental health effects, but people like etho who've made a career out of working with it are definitely at risk. the average, small redstone contraption has about as much radiation in it as an x-ray. larger contraptions you can definitely feel the heat radiating off of them if the wires aren't enclosed properly.

etho's definitely had a few close calls in the early days (grabbing live redstone wires when machines start going off the fritz and burning his hands, for example) but he's gotten better with time. both of his eyes used to be black, but while building the nexus it started raining and a redstone wire jumped and slapped him in the face. he still hates having to make sure all his redstone is entirely covered by blocks, but the other hermits are like "that's a safety hazard. please cover your redstone i dont want radiation poisoning from just flying past your base."

i also think redstone dust stains like nothing else. like how flamingos are pink from all the shrimp they eat, the tips of redstoners' fingers and their nails are permanently stained red from constant handling. impulse learned to wear gloves early on, and his fingertips have mostly healed back to a normal color. tango and etho are both in the camp of "if i cant physically feel the redstone on my fingers, i feel like i dont know what i'm doing" so they just suffer. doc is simply immune because creeper/robot logic.

(cw vomit) eating redstone makes you very, very ill. unless you're mumbo "killsalot" jumbo who for some reason is just immune. he's accidentally put redstone instead of sugar in his coffee more times than he can count and never gotten sick. etho, on the other hand! while very bored, he decided to eat a redstone torch like it was pocky and then was throwing up blood for three days. (he'd do it again, it doesnt even taste that bad. "etho you were throwing up so much blood we all thought you were going to die" "okay and? it tasted like sweettarts.")

[pinkanonwrites]

(part 2. now featuring me rambling about a Modern Triguns hc i have)

okay so im Native American and i do think, in my hc (not yours. wanna reiterate that i am saying this for Fun Conversation and not to convince you of shit), i really like the idea of Vash and Knives being either surrounded by Indigenous American influence (people who are non-Indigenous can live on our reservations, maybe Rem is Indigenous and is cross-racially fostering them, i dunno) or Vash and Knives are white-passing Indigenous Americans themselves (i say "white-passing" bc i know their creator is Japanese but also Vash and Knives are pale-skinned, blue-eyed, blond boys so im assuming they are white? but some Japanese people could be mixed, that's true. i dont know enough about Trigun to know ethnicity canon/fanon, i just know "ah!!! they might be blond and blue-eyed, but i see Me in them!" so. headcanon. anyway)

and i say that bc a huge part of a pan-Indigenous culture (not that we are a monolith to generalize, theres so many fucking tribes and specific tribal cultures, but you get what i mean) is focused on the enviroment and our interconnectedness to it, ontop of our history of being genocided against up until the last Indian Residential School closed down in 2007 and we had our right to practice our culture given to us in 1978 (so 1978 is actually when American achieved religious-freedom) and now we are facing various Indigenous protective laws being disbanded in the U.S.-- it's easy for any marginalized group, esp ethnicities, to see relatability in the Plants. like, the Americas were founded with the blood of Black and Indigenous people. but also many other cultures have faced similar experiences. so i do think its easy to project any marginalized culture that has suffered onto Plants. its just also cool to be like "yo, my culture is very much based on protecting and understanding the enviroment, and this fictional group is called PLANTS? hell yeah, easy projection" but like. we arent the only culture that does that. so i dont think Indigenous Americans are special any form of projecting ourselves with Plants/Trigun. i just also AM Indigenous American and also AM projecting. so. im biased

and i am, in fact, doubly biased bc my Indigenous American father was a BIG fan of westerns, something Knives loves. my dad loved them bc He Is Very Old (im talking "my dad was 60, close to 70 when i was born" old. my mother is his second wife and they met when she was 40. so i was "wow thats late to have a baby, but not SUPER dangerous") and, though things have gotten slightly better since he was my age but uh.. the reason why he liked old westerns so much was because that WAS the only place where he could see people like him on-screen. even tho they died half the time. and were often racist. highly recommend the documentary "Reel Injun" if you would like a summary on how Indigenous people have been depicted on film, it is very funny for a documentary lmao but anyway, yes, this does also mean my dad was a Twilight fan. he watches those movies all the time (even tho they are ALSO racist against us, but its still really funny to say my dad is a Twi-hard lmao). and my dad wasnt alone in being like that, a LOT of Indigenous people my age (mid-20s) grew up with old western movies and whatnot bc it was the only representation we had for a long time, even moreso for any generation older than us. i can still hear "John Wayne's Teeth Hey-a, Hey-Hey-a" a'la the 90s movie, Smoke Signals, being chanted in my mind lmao

so Knives' lil "bang, bang" and how much he loved old west content made me feel especially seen lmao so i like the idea of him and Vash either being raised in an Indigenous culture by Indigenous people or being Indigenous themselves and being raised by Indigenous people. it brings me joy ♡ especially the latter, bc, tho im not blond and blue-eyed, i am white-passing. people assume i am white until i "out" myself (im also queer, i label myself as Two-Spirited actually, so i am using the verbage "out" knowingly lmao). i grew up hating my pale skin and my monolingual tongue, because that meant i looked like a colonizer and spoke the colonizer's langauge (and i, unfortunately, dont have the kind of brain that absorbs second languages well. at all. damn you auditory processing disorder lmao rip). i wanted to look more like my Indigenous relatives, and less like my white mother who married into our culture. and i see Knives' hatred of Plants' oppressors, and with the modern au and my hc of Indigentity and my personal history of struggling with self-hatred, and i see reflections of myself in him

and like. Knives' desire to kill all humans isnt translatable in a contemporary context, really. i dunno what job i would want my hc of him to have. you could argue he would be on the side of the extremeists in protesting, But Equating A Genocidal Character To A Contemporary Protestor feels.. bad lmao thats an understatement. but like. yeah, i do hc my personal modern au Knives to be a Land Back protestor, and i think Vash would agree actually. but im biased bc i support that movement too lmao i think the fact that Knives is so untranslatable to a modern context in all his variety adds to the tragedy of the Trigun/Trimax/Trigun Stampede/what-have-you narrative. i think modern au Knives might be antagonistic and a nag (or i could empathize with seeing him as modern cult-leader, tho thats irrelevant to this conversation. just bc i can empathize with it, doesnt mean i would ever create content of it or have it as my hc. cults are serious stuff people shouldnt trivialize and i dont have any experience with them, but if people want to vent out their feelings about cults using a modern Knives au?? i can understand that, im using him to project and vent too afterall lmao) to his brother, maybe be estranged, but overall i think the rift between them would be easier to breach than in the canon

i just find modern au Knives to, at least have the capacity to be, more sympathetic than his canon counterparts in all their variancies. he's fun to stretch around and play with lol

anyway, thanks for making a space where i felt welcomed to talk about Trigun modern hcs with you. i cant wait to see what you make. and, again, this was NOT an endorsement for you to follow me at all in this hc, i completely get (1) people have their own hcs of what Knives and Vash's ethnicities may be in a contemporary world and (2) that other people's modern au stories might not even feature disclosing an ethnicity. i just loved your excitement and wanted to spend part 1 engaging with you with your possible hcs, and part 2 sharing mine. i hope i worded all of this in a way that makes sense. thank you again ♡

Ooh, I really love your hcs! I'm always a little hesitant to do any in-depth headcanoning about the intricacies of racial minorities because I'm a very white person myself (a quarter Korean technically, but a blue-eyed blondie nonetheless), so it's really cool to read in-depth and interesting takes from people who obviously have a better scope on the ins and outs than I would!

I agree that Knives's genocidal nature isn't really easy to translate to a modern era. He's a tough guy to nail down! In my head at least, he's more of a nihilistic environmentalist while Vash is an optimistic one. I see him working in a very white-coat, laboratory, scientific field when it comes to conservation, he just strikes me as a scientist type. Him and Vash don't always see eye to eye on everything, and oftentimes he thinks he has to protect Vash because his brother is far too forgiving to the world, no matter how cruel it's been to him. But Vash doesn't want to be coddled either, he's not naive. He's making a conscious effort every day to choose to see the good in the world around them, and for one reason or another Nai just can't wrap his head around that.

He still loves his westerns though, I'm definitely keeping that. Nai was glued to Vash's stream when he was playing through Red Dead Redemption 2, no matter how much he says he doesn't care for video games.

I really liked reading your headcanons too, so thanks for reaching out! If you ever end up wanting to write anything longform that takes place in your modern AU, be sure to link it to me!

[boltslutters]

and hmmmm can i have more detail on the mins and meds? whatever you'd like to share.

Mins/Meds are a cyborg/machine species created as something of a "last defense" to a massive Dyson Sphere structure. They live on its surface, which has been covered in earth to protect from asteroid strikes, and is orbited by like, three stars.

Mins are the majority between the two, they're like bees and Meds are the queen bees.

So I've mentioned that when a Min's head splits open, it heals and they gain some sort of weird magical ability. This is because they're not fully machine. Their "brains" are made out of a fungi and they have a circulatory system of a fuel-like substance I call blood. The existence of the fungi attract a soul-crystal thing that naturally starts to form and build up inside of them. When the head unit is broken open, the soul crystals rapid cover up the wound, and start fracturing into the "bloodstream", where they become infused into the blood and start causing the magical effects when damaged. Usually, the composition is affected by individual Mins personality, leading to different abilities I conveniently make similar to an individual's personalities.

There's actually a lot of diseases, industries, and additives related to Mins and their blood because they can't make it naturally, they must harvest it from the environment. Most animals and some plants on the planet also rely on some form of blood as like, regular blood, so Mins have their own forms of agriculture to make and harvest blood. I've got some details on this, namely a couple diseases and additives. The fact that their brains are organic and not mechanical mean they're also subject to being impaired by contaminants and sometimes they do it on purpose as they're also driven by emotion like us.

In general Mins don't have any kind of romantic or sexual attraction because they build their own descendants and there is no need for that kind of stuff. They are still a super social species and have their own social customs. For instance, pronouns. While most Mins use he/him as an individual, non-gendered pronoun (this only applies to Mins don't get it twisted with reality), Meds use a formal version of this where you add an s in front of every word (She/Shim/Shis) (It's also okay to use the feminine (She/hers) for Meds if you can't remember this version). These pronouns are more status than they are gender; any Min who does similar work (doctors/mechanics, building your own descendants, or taking up a leadership/political role) usually end up switching pronouns to the formal ones.

Mins are given a serial number when they're built: Their Med's name (usually some type of star) and whatever number came next in their production or a unique code. However, a lot of Mins get nicknames based on what they do (This could be something like 'Blacksmith' or 'Herder'), a notable trait, usually with gunslingers or other performing roles ('Steel Footing' for standing on the back of a horse or 'Ringa Styx' for leaving a 'ring of six' bullets in an opponents head and I could Not pass up the reference to the river of the dead even if they probably wouldn't have something like the Styx) or their crystal given ability as it's similar to their personailty (Something like 'Sticky Shot').

As a final note: Mins aren't invulnerable from weather like most machines. Much in the way that you put a tarp on your car to protect it from weather, Mins usually wear some form of clothing as protection/cultural significance/it just looks cool man leave me alone/etc. It is ungendered (because they dont have gender) and mostly dependent on again, status and occupation.

Most of the time, Mins and Meds live in small, closed societies where Meds don't make more Mins than they need to. These Mins are usually very carefully made, designed to last a really long time, and are made for specific purposes.

Then there's the ones made quickly in emergency situations, such as war (you'd think being able to control and carefully manage your own population and with miles of 90% desert meant that you shouldn't experience war but it really does take one bad egg to ruin a batch), natural disaster, etc etc. They usually don't live very long and are often pretty numerous. A lot of the time when it happens, Meds and their little in-group of specially made Mins (usually called U-mins), usually try to ignore their other Mins (L-Mins) and hope they just die out on their own. But surprise, Meds aren't exclusively capable of repairing and making Mins. The L-Mins started forming their own societies where they made and repair other L-Mins, meaning that they're persisting longer than the Meds and U-Mins wanted them to. L-mins are usually self-governed in little towns and cities and often get into fights with other groups of L-Mins more often as L-Mins are more subject to scarcity than their U-Min counterparts. The Ouruls don't help either.

Ouruls are like demons, but kind of on steroids. They can be summoned from their inverted world dimension and made to do a Min's bidding. Ouruls can't die. They heal and grow into trees, and rot and decay into animals in an infinite cycle. They do split apart, fuse, and loose memories, so they're not constant. Ouruls might have special, magical abilities, but not always. Most of the time, Ouruls are used by L-Mins as they are the ones who need the (free) help the most, and there are dedicated groups for interpreting and using the texts that allow them to summon Ouruls (created by Malxivos). They're pretty organized as far as L-Min groups go; they don't like non-Ouranists (Mins part of Ourul groups) using the Ouruls and they don't allow anyone to use it for personal or financial gain (Ouranists actually get into a lot of scuffles with gunslingers; a lot of gunslingers use Ouruls to get an edge in gunfights and the Ouranists don't like that).

The Min's planet is absolutely MASSIVE. It's a freaking Dyson sphere that's like, at minimum the size of Mercury's orbit, maybe bigger. There's massive bands of different biomes, and most Mins think the world is flat because of how freaking big it is. Circumnavigating the globe is damn near impossible. The planet also lacks in certain natural resources, like oil, leading to a slower development of technology, leaving them in a steampunk-esc state of technology.

[tungtung-thanawat]

Of the rudimentary knowledge I have of Midnight Museum and of Klatha and Dome - I think I found a good song for them!

It's Brother by Kodaline. Although it can be read as platonic - I always felt there was something very queer and homoerotic about it. With plausible deniability, you know?

Hope you give the song a listen! =D

oh boy one more song to listen on repeat to while i lose my mind over khathadome!!

sorry for being gay and growing up heavily in the closet but if the song is making a point to say they don't share the same blood - it is 100% queer - homoerotic is dealer's choice I suppose but when I hear the song it definitely reads as homoerotic to me.

i know the word brother is putting some people on edge but i don't understand the insistence on how they are NOT brothers. I think at this point its clear that no matter what you call them it won't be incest. Also, the very obvious point of tension that comes up: brother and sister for many many asian cultures is an indicator of intimacy/closeness/trust but it is entirely neutral on the romance/platonic axis if not specified.

I'm not joking even women will call their lovers brother if they're older than them or its a communal title (Wen calling Jim Lung Jim - Moonglight Chicken) in my culture. And phi-nong too is a neutral relationship in regards to romance. (Kuea calls Lian hia literally as they're making out - cutie pie). I get why you'd be squicked if you're not used to this but if you're choosing to consume this media its your responsibility to meet it where its at.

It's actually quite important to me that they call each other brother and it really intensifies the queer experience for me for primarily two reasons:

in a situation where brother is a strictly platonic word - only gay people will have to use this term to refer to their lover. It's the only way to claim your lover as family. even if khatha is justifying his intense love for chan to himself by making him his brother then well...relatable. Sometimes, the privilege of being able to love the person you want to love takes precedence over implied incest.

not to spoil you too much but betrayal is very much an important theme in this show. what happens when lovers betray each other? they stop being lovers. but brother is immutable. I've joked about them being a Cain and Abel parallel but everyone knows what happened there and what are they still? brothers. khatha's love, guilt and suffering has endured for two centuries. how could he have brought himself to claim his love for chan - given that his love made him selfish and not loyal - other than as a brother?

so yeah not only dont i mind that they're 'brothers' but i am an active fan of it. the eternal nature of their love is kind of doing it for me.

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Thats so funny because I only dont care for lesson 16 and the lessons around it because i felt the resolution was a bit rushed in terms of everyone just suddenly being lovey dovey with MC cuz theyre descended of lilith. I would love to hear your thoughts on this when you get the chance!

honestly i WISH i were apathetic about lesson 16... but as a person being apathetic about something is impossible (sadly... it would bring me so much more peace if i could just not care) and so i do have a lot of thoughts about lesson 16? like bestie you've just unlocked a long long rant that's gonna be hidden under the cut

because it is just sooo absurd to me that that was somehow the best idea that the writers came up with, and the execution ended being so rushed and poorly written that it managed to make so many people think that the brothers only love mc and/or only started being open with mc about how much they adore them because of the lilith reveal. it's very much not like that at all (i have arguments for every single one of them tbh) but the way lesson 16 was written + some of the handling of some of the brothers' relationship to mc before that definitely makes more than understandable to me that people would think so.

so like, firstly i think that yeah, the resolution is so rushed and weirdly written. i think at the end of lesson 16, belphie should not be so immediately buddy-buddy with mc and there should've been dialogue from ALL the brothers that they're glad that MC is fine and isn't actually dead. the mammon favoritism from the writers kills me here—levi and beel should've said something about being worried to death and i won't take any other opinion on it! they've been close to mc and have had pacts with them for much longer than asmo and satan!! i can't even agree that asmo and satan wouldn't have been concerned because they were definitely worried when mc was sent back in time (as shown in lesson 12), and that is just a few hours away from the events of lesson 16.

not to mention, just a few hours before (technically after, but never got the chance to happen in the new timeline) they were called family—there is just no way that none of them are greatly relieved that mc is fine (because those feelings are there even if they're never said), and it's not enough that they're showing it through coddling them during that stupid scene where diavolo drops that 'there must be so much they've wanted to do for lilith' line.

in fact that line is another major issue i have with lesson 16—why did the writers think it was a good idea have that said? it just adds more to the 'oh they only love mc bc they're related to lilith' thing, and in a game where y'know, the goal is to kiss and fuck these guys, it's very weird and off putting.

(inb4 someone brings up that mc wouldn't have any blood relation to lilith and the brothers + it's been millennia (probably; but parts of canon imply that it's been like, just 200 years ago) since then so it's fine. idk but my inclination to fuck someone who drop super low if i thought/knew they associate me with being related to their sister, and it's also a little weird if they're thinking of their sister when they're with me—which isn't the case at all because the brothers very much love you outside of your lilith relation, but the handling of lesson 16 really makes it seem like youre now someone to project their affections for their long dead sister on sdgjkg especially with belphie being the only one to openly say that he doesn't like you purely bc you're related to lilith and that weird scene where lucifer's reminded of holding hands with his sister while he's holding hands with you at a carnival? such a baffling thing to make him say, writers. whatever blush i'd have would immediately drain from my face.)

i also think it's a fault of the writers that there is very, very little clear romantic attraction from the brothers to mc before the revelation. as far as i know, only mammon's been anything transparent + there's hints from lucifer and satan in lesson 12; i personally wouldnt count the time everyone was stuck in an otome because theyre were obligated to do all that or else they wouldnt be leaving the game and it was clear that they're all just saying those words to literally get points. they all make fun of mammon for having a crush on mc which sends the message that none of them are interested. while there is a huge, huge timeskip of what's apparently 10 whole months between the end of lesson 18 and the start of lesson 19, the fact that we don't get to see that development of feelings makes it feel even more like the revelation had something to do with the rest of the brothers catching feelings :/

then there's like, all the other issues i have with lesson 16 which have honestly become inspiration for dola's vitriol towards diavolo. it makes it so that all the of the heartwarming moments that mc experiences with the brothers never happened. all those little one-on-ones with the brothers when mc come back to the HoL with beel after belphie's arrested? never happened. all of them working together to get lucifer out so they can actually talk? never happened. and neither did that talk where lucifer himself tells everyone what really happened to lilith or why he's so loyal to diavolo, or the moment where mc is called family? erased. lucifer proving to diavolo and all his brothers that he cares more about his family than his eternal obedience to the prince? absolutely did not happened and is replaced by diavolo rubbing it in lucifer's face that he shouldn't have ever doubted him in the first place or some shit during lesson 16.

it's why i think mc should be so much more upset than they were during lesson 16. i get that the writers wont do that because ~blank slate~ (not saying cant bc lbr they lock you into choices and emotions you dont agree with ALL the time) but it leaves a sour and bitter taste in my mouth that after losing all of that, mc is just okay with everything. everything returns to almost normal, and we're actually in charge of making sure it goes completely back to normal! we have to help belphie bond with his brothers again!! great.

most frustrating somehow, all the things i come up with in trying to justify why that stupid lesson played out like it did feels like copium lmaooo especially since it feels like there's not really any payoff to diavolo ensuring that the only reality that exists is one where lucifer never openly opposed him in front of his brothers >.>;; it's such a weird lesson with such a weird conclusion, and an aftermath that i sped through because i could not get into the idea of my mc being so willing to help belphie bond with his brothers again so fast. i think with all the magical bullshit that they can make the brothers and diavolo pull bc OM has no rules to their magic, they couldve easily had mc come back from their mission to report that te door opened with their touch. then through some magical ritual of some sort, they go and investigate and find that lilith's spirit is just there and was the final sibling that enabled the door to open, and then diavolo channels enough magic through some obscure spell or device to get her to talk to them and belphie or whatever—literally there's so many ways that that lesson could've gone.

instead we have like... whatever the fuck that lesson is and i hate it lol

[quinnonimp]

do you have any favorite books/movies/shows? (this is me asking you to ramble about your favorite piece of media, I'm in the mood for special interest talk.)

ooo im not much of a consumer of media but one of my favorites is homestuck !!!! ill talk abt it, but mind u im kind of horrible at talking abt my interests </3

im not that old of a homestuck fan (only got into it around 2020 i think) but FUUUUUCK its such a huge part of my life and probably my longest hyperfixation, might even be a special interest with how much i still think abt it at random intervals or small associations

im honestly a little of scared of falling back into my hyperfixation of it though ? theres a few small reasons but i think its mostly just me being scared of commitment to anything as always (which is probablt also why i barely consume media) . recently i was REEEALLY close to but new ccquackity/ccwilbur activity dragged me away to safety lmfao (if u could even call a dsmp/tntduo hyperfixation safety)

smth i rly love abt homestuck is the way its so incredibly focused on characterization rather than story

like YES it does have a great story but its clearly messy n weird n hussie just kind of throws anything up in the air and just the dumbest shit ever can happens, and while that is aswell smth i absolutely fucking love - the characters r a way bigger deal n more interesting than anything the story will conjure up, and thats definitely my favorite way of writing media

cause like, yknow, good characters can absolutely save a bad story, but a good story cant rly save bad characters

plus theres so many characters and theyre all so well written that its easy to find a fan for each of them

my favorite character is 100% gamzee, im so fucking normal abt him, like oh my god i love that dude so much and the little idealized version of him i have inside my head lmao . mostly the earlier stuff is what i like of him though

fun fact ! hes part the reason im not scared of clowns anymore . i used to be terrified of clowns so when i first read homestuck i thought he was the most annoying freak in the world and DESPISED him, until i started looking more into purplebloods and gradually liked gamzee more until suddenly clowns r now my entire personality

i have so many reasons to love gamzee, but a lot of it has to do with just the plain fact i relate to him and when i see him i go "damn hes just like me fr" . like just . idk . his mannerisms n the way he dresses n looks r pretty similar to mine nowadays - except the whole "murderous instincts" thing, i think . and because of the way i havent read the comic in a while this self projection has really marinated itself

hes also sooooo brasileiro nordestino bc i said so 🤏

other favorite characters of mine are roxy, jade, kurloz, aradia, meenah, and calliope . plus, hes not a favorite but: when i got into homestuck i used to be a way louder energetic person, so my friends would say i was literally karkat, which infuriated the hell out of me x)

classpects is one of my biggest interests in homestuck, i fucking love them so much, im such a personality wizard i will latch onto anything personality related so hard . theyre great for initiating 60 page analysis on favorite characters (or ocs) and are so amazing for characterizing ocs its crazy, and aswell as to just classpect friends or random funny shit . i love them !!

in fact once i made an entire analysis to my friends as to why mosquitos r thiefs of blood, and there were so so so many more reasons than just the funny idea of classpecting a mosquito something called "THIEF of BLOOD"

though what i think a lot of ppl forget though is that while yes theyre heavily based on personality, theyre based on narrative aswell, which is why a real person can never have 1 set classpect all throughout their life since we well dont know the narrative we live in, we dont know our paths or our conclusions or how we'll end up and thats an important thing to know when classpecting since the way to godhood in sburb is a personal journey to self improvement, yknow ?

(though ofc if u wanna classpect solely based on personality go right ahead . the world is yours)

in this era of my life id consider myself a maid of space (which is a cool as fuck classpect and gets me the coolest powers EVER !!!!!!), but 1-2 years ago i considered myself a rogue of blood, then a rogue of rage, then a rogue of space (i was very rogue-ey), plus a few others here n there, and if i were to classpect myself from 3-4 years ago i would be a witch of rage/blood

i just think seeing the way change happens and the way we can see that change through a silly lens such as classpects is cool . with the way my obsessions work im obviously gonna look at the world with anything that associates with my interests in the back of my head, so im gonna start classpecting something like a glass jar if i take a look at it, and thats fun as hell !!

ive changed a lot throughout the years just as everyone does and im gonna continue changing, so who knows what classpect i end up with in another year or two ! its fun to think abt

ill leave my thoughts with that but thanks for asking :.))))

[arcanigenum]

Wishlist/relationship ideas/scenarios:

these are just random things and ideas i’ve posted that would be fun to write somehow!!!!!!

Generic 

Lowkey want a muses get stranded on an island-thread

the “going on an adventure into a cave and something is VERY wrong and oh god there are monsters here” is one of my favorite tropes

yes in unrvld there’s a nothingness out on a lake and no one knows what it actually contains, which makes sense, otherwise it wouldnt be nothingness. you cant see it. you just get inside by accident. reality ceases to exist like you know it. you cant get out.

Related to Jacques

KISS JACQUES YOU COWARDS

if you push your hand against jacques’ stomach or something, and do it hard and long enough, will his body absorb your hand after a while? (do it)

sOMEBODY BE friends with jacques pre-cancer and pre-tectus and pre-monster!jacques he gets sick and you know he’s gonna actually d i e within a couple of months but then he fucking vanishes. where is he. is he dead? probably dead, right? what else couldve happened. then he shows up like a year later and is healthy and cant talk about what has happened bc stuff is classified and he’s just like eeeeuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh well im not dying anymore?

be the person that throws every throwable thing around them at jacques because he cheated on them

Pre-established romantic relationship that is rocky and they dont really know why theyre still together when they think about it, and they complain to their friends and their friends are like WHY DONT U DUMP EM and they just safety in what is known even if it isnt perfect

Wow itd be a shame if a monster muse fucked jacques in their true monster form wow what a shame itd be 👉👈

imagine punching jacques in the face and your fist just sorta travels through the head and the flesh and bone grips it

Related to Benjamin

your muse knows him from high school or college or medschool or whatever. havent met each other since. maybe benj bullied the shit out of your muse. team up in the apoc.  consider your muse having to deal with teaming with their abuser from 20 years ago who either doesnt remember them or doesnt care LOL

benj considering your muse belonging to him so he’d be willing to kill anyone who fucks with them but your muse is more capable than benj at handling themselves

Related to Egil

Egil having a bunch of “wives”/“husbands” like negan but the exchange is blood for protection    

POV: egil saves you from a group of baddies in twd verse but now youre his blood slut bag.  he presents you as his blood slut to others as if it was your name.

someone should stab egil in the eye like the living dead person he is. and stake him.

Egil accidentally adopting your muse means he will dad them like a 17th century aristocrat dad which isnt much dading at all, but you might be trained to act like nobility

i have yet to rp egil when his heart fucks up and he just malfunctions i guess cus he cant die from heart failure as a vampire

imagine egil taking you out on a date and you get to feed the flesh building 😔❤  you get to choose whether you want to toss bodyparts into the depths of a flesh pit before or after dinner.

your muse having some sort of weird business kind of deal with egil and his bullshit and then we take it from there :’)))

Consider Egil challenging you to a duel because you have offended him, thats how real men settle their disagreements

if egil ever needs to see some kind of papers on/from staff at tectus he will do it in german bc he’s an asshole well aware of his background. “papiere bitte!”.  now imagine him doing this while carrying his whip and wearing jackboots.

Related to Morgan

anyone wanna meet morgan in a random half abandoned place where an even more random item keeps multiplying

lowkey need morgan to have a close friend or romantic partner who is a criminal bc he’d struggle a lot

just play magic the gathering with him and paint minis

Related to Haq’rhá

your muse meeting haqrha as a child and no one believes they met an alien. they meet again years later when your muse is an adult.

imagine haqrha teaming up with supernatural hunters

note to everyone wanting to fuck the alien: dont let him top unless youre predator proof or equal to his size bc he’ll kill u 🤷‍♀️

SPACE ADVENTURE BUDDIES?

Related to Jeremy

jeremy needs at least one demon friend he never exorcised for some reason. or who came back three times and the third time jeremy got tired of it and was like you know what, i cant be bothered anymore.

if jeremy has ever fallen asleep, hangover af, in the confession booth? yes

fr. jeremy marlowe might be a forbidden thirst trap but that doesnt mean you cant get him in bed haha go fulfill that priest kink i fully support this

Related to Ull

Ull; a calm guy, very chill and reasonable, actually enjoys modern society. Also Ull: SACRIFICE AN ANIMAL AND A HUMAN IN MY NAME IF YOU REALLY WANT MY HELP, MORTAL oh and dont forget my apple vodka

Related to Azazel

who wants to be possessed and terrorized by az )’: whats the point of writing a demon if it cant possess someone )’:

aesthetic: being violently dragged out of the bed by the ankle at exactly 3 AM, held by one of az’ massive, bony hands from his back. down the stairs. down through the floor. down into darkness.

az probably drags people into his mountain where it’s dark and cold and humid. his own personal hell

azazzle might be a flamboyant whiny dramaqueen dressed in silk and gold but now picture him throwing up a galil rifle and shooting up a place while laughing simply because he can- now picture him as a healing figure for ppl with mental health problems and trauma

az doesnt only devour people. he also devours animals. your pets. your cattle. your horse.

survival guide to hanging out with azazel:

- come with gifts. specifically gifts he can eat. preferably a live animal. a horse, thanks! - accept you may die at any given point. it makes it less fun to kill you. party pooper. - refer to him as angel and never demon unless you want to cease to exist. - dont mention god or other angels unless you want a crying and enraged az on your hands. - tell him no and he will throw a temper tantrum, just be prepared - consider not hanging out with him???????????? he’s the deadly sins taken to extremes???????

Related to Elliot

let elliot be the bobby to your sam & dean

anyway let elliot adopt your muse and take care of them and do tarot readings for them

Related to Vigrim

sOMEONE NEEDS TO RIDE ON VIGRIM’S BACK

be his neighbour bc he’s the weirdest neighbour ever.

[cosmossystem]

❄️, for the ask game!

ask game

thank you for the ask, ill be answering this one (-red)

❄️ Do you have a favorite memory related to your system? (i.e. something that happened in headspace or something that another member did.)

(lotta memory questions lately) (guys i barely remember what i did yesterday) (help)

umm ok heres one i personally like. i had to rummage around our logbook for the exact dates because it has been many moons since then, but this is what i remember:

vann & an unnamed headmate, who for our purposes i will call hook (she/he/they), historically have not gotten along. they are friends now, but it wasnt always like this.

back in the earlier days of our system discovery (like circa-2017) hook was kind of a chaos magnet. one reason (of many) i say that is because back in the day she would constantly pick fights with headmates. and by that i mean they would literally spar with people in headspace and start lighthearted arguments with everyone if she was anywhere near front (which is why im calling them hook.)

side note: fighting might be a big issue for other systems, but its not like that for us. everyone up here generally gets along and abides by the rules, and weve only ever had 2 or 3 actively harmful headmates-- hook is not one of those and we all love her.

our "fighting" and arguing are more of a recreational hobby-- kinda like rap battles where the goal is to win, not to actually hurt the other person-- and this is because being around the same 40 people every day is boring as hell and we are melodramatic people with too much free time. injuries heal quicker in headspace and no one can really die, so when someones fighting, the rest of us just pull up lawn chairs and popcorn and watch it happen. like this:

as for our story, i think it was maybe 2021, at vann's birthday party. i dont remember exactly how things went, but i know that they were both fronting/cocon and doing the sort of half-jabs at each other that they always do, and then vann says something to piss her off and then she breaks his nose.

music stops, record scratches, blood on his shirt, etc. all the party guests were clamoring over ourselves like "wtf? it's his fucking birthday? you would hit him on his BIRTHDAY?" and she had to assure us that "no, he knew i would hit him, that's his fault". so they both apologize, but vann PROMISES her that he will get them back and she just laughs it off.

(mind you, dear reader: hook is an entire foot taller than him and built like john cenas understudy. vann, bless his heart, is built like the pillsbury dough boy.)

enter hook's karaoke-birthday party, later that same year. party dwindles to a close. everyone is chilling around headspace like normal. hook is chatting with me and vann, but i have to step away from front for a minute and pass it off to the two of them... and well...

from across the room i hear a CRUNCH and suddenly two of hook's ribs were broken. shes not even upset. shes kind of just in shock. i was told later that he was flirting with hook and hook, like the dumbass bisexual (/j) they are, fell for it. no one could even get upset because well, he did say he'd do it. so the two of them just laugh it off. hook gets patched up as always, no harm no foul.

and i think thats when they started being actual friends. they did date for a bit but to my knowledge they arent anymore.

i wish every birthday party was as eventful as those two. the good(?) news is that we dont fight much anymore so this is mostly in the past. the bad news is nowadays when we want to entertain ourselves, we do lip sync battles instead. (boooo bring back my medieval fighting entertainment)

-red

[tribow]

So I watched Blood-C

Continuing my Blood streak, I have finished watching this too! I have actually seen Blood-C before, but I never finished it due to being spoiled about the ending. Now that I actually watched the whole thing and saw the full context...I'm dissatisfied.

In fact, that just about sums up my thoughts on Blood-C: "Dissatisfied". Throughout much of the story, all I did was wait for the answer to "Why?"

Why must Saya do what she must do? Why does this character know this? Why the dog? Why the school? Why did they go back? Why are these monsters showing up at specific times of the day?

It was clear that several characters had answers to these questions. There's a lot of very unsubtle foreshadowing in the dialogue to make it obvious.

Alone, this wouldn't be a problem, but nothing else in Blood-C hooked me. The characters all felt pretty weak. Saya has 0 agency until ths end, and most of her interactions with other characters are small talk, direct orders, or questions that dont get answered. The dialogue feels a little unnatural and to make matters worse, there's so much wasted time!

I tried to come up with reasons as to why so many innocuous scenes happen and none of them made sense. It's especially frustrating because of how heavy this anime is.

If you didn't know Blood-C is quite infamous for being an extremely violent gorefest. Many people have written it off as a guro porn due to these violent and very bloody scenes. I'm not exaggerating; people get torn in half, heads bitten off, crushed, amputated, impaled multiple times, and its a bloody mess.

Honestly, despite all that....I disagree with the notion that Blood-C is gorey for the sake of it. The violence has a place in the story that works and makes sense...IS WHAT I'D LIKE TO SAY. For the most oart it's true, but in certain episodes during the second half there's some deaths that are practically comedic or unecessary. I was so ready to have my expectations shattered and then some guy gets killed by the shards of a window impaling him are you kidding me?

Ugh, there's one genuinely good thing I can say about Blood-C and it's the action. Wholeheartedly, Blood-C's action is some of the best I've ever seen. The choreography is really cool for nearly every fight that happens.

You know how most anime will have characters monologuing their plans or reactions to their opponent? They'll shout their attacks. Sometimes the fight almost seems turn based. You can't read the pace of the battle without background characters expositing about what just happened.

As a big fan of a good-ass fight scene these issues stick out to me. I'm happy to say Blood-C lacks many of these problems. You can get an idea of what a character's battle strategy is just by watching their actions it's so cool how these animators were able to achieve this consistently. Production IG was not slacking here.

It sucks that action that goes this hard is tied to a story that ultimately just fails for me. Each character's book closes in a terrible way. The mystery that unravels only left me questioning the logistics of it rather than keeping me intrigued.

I wish I liked this. I wish I could say the despite all of the extreme violence Blood-C has something great going on in there and I just can't. Don't recommend.

Now....you might be aware that I have been watching every anime related to Blood and I didn't mention the connection between the other anime at all in this whole review. Well, that's cause Blood-C has a movie to follow-up that cliffhanger and since I rambled so hard here I'll save that discussion for that movie.

[tears-of-boredom]

watching deadly class and god damn thats an identical white boy. just like the other ones. this one gets beaten to a bloody mess more often though. and Saya's name is really god damn close to mine and one time someone pronounced it a bit weird and i got a bit surprised.

tbh im on ep 7 and im kinda losing interest in the plot. ill watch for the bloody dudes though. but this series is definetly not helping me with my temptation for smoking.

yeah im ten minutes into this episode and its really fucking boring. i mean like the villains hot and all but i like do not care for these people enough for this. im just honestly waiting until eveyone gets all bloody again. tbh i was readying myself for boring teen shit cuz of stuff ive seen from the fandom, but i guess i was preparing for the wrong kind of boring lol. i mean uhh marco?? what the fucks even the main guys name lmaooo. im really hoping he dies in a bloody mess cuz the breed of white guy he is looks really good when literally on the brink of death and covered in blood.

anyways yeah im giving up at uhh 27:16 of episode seven. and spoilers sorry but so im watching this on some website for free and i think episode 5 was somehow cut short, because i did not see like chico dying. like any of that scene. i just had to piece everything together from the "previously on deadly class" half minute of episode 6. it doesnt really matter anyways but its kinda funny. also in the pilot when marco tried to kill himself im pretty sure i thought "do it you pussy" and i laughed about that for a solid minute. and at another point i think it was something,, basically just an intrusive thought came related to the scene i was watching, and i laughed about that as well for some time because it was like a horrible thing to think if i actually meant it. shame i dont remember it cuz i bet it was real funny. oh and i was also thinking about the like villain dude, chester i think? i was thinking whether or not the burn scar was prosthetic and im gonna look it up now.

aw man it is prosthethic. idk what i was hoping for tbh, i was just thinking that itd probably be easier to just get an actor that has a burn scar than do all that make up, espec since all the flash backs back to when he doesnt have them are animated, so you wouldnt have like that problem either.

but hey, at least now i know the vibe and basic premise of this show so i can read any fics i happen to stumble upon. that is literally like, top 5 reasons im watching all this shit: so i can read more fics and make sure that im not missing out on shit. thats why i thought this was gonna a be a bit more of a light show, cuz all the fandom shit seemed to be just teens, but its not like im that surprised that teenagers are writing fics about mentally ill trained killers like come on. thats like peak YA shit. also i kinda disliked marco at the beginning cuz he was talking a bit too harshly about "the scizos", but then he had that communist awakening and i kinda like him now. oh and you can call me a snowflake all you want but the word " the r word gets thrown around a bit too lightly for my taste. not rape, the other one.

oh actually i think the intrusive thought i had was something about viktor being gay or something. like way before marco said it. and im really trying to stop calling people gay for looking a bit too hard at someone. or maybe it wasnt that cuz i think viktor was saying some shit about sucking dick and if thats true then i had the full right to call his ass gay in my thoughts.

and before i go,, i fucking love billy. lord knows if i was in that school i would be so fucking whipped for that boy like oh my god. id def be a rat too. and im gonna stop here before i create a deadly class self-insert oc in my head cuz i really dont like this series that much. but billy is so fucking, uhhhh,,,,, well i was gonna say hot cuz thats like the word i use for attractive people usually, but i honestly wouldnt really call him hot.....ummm i mean id say cute if it didnt sound so patronising and infantalising......okay whatever he's attractive and honestly id call him hot if i even got eye contact form him back so...no actually i think just being in his vicinity would be enough....yeah my standards are like so low to the ground, you could manipulate me so fucking easily cuz my nerves would be too shot out the whole time to even register anything. and afterwards id be thinking "no im so aware of myself id know if i was being manipulated". also i already dont trust myself so you could gaslight me real easy as well. i mean id probably kill you if you went too hard with it cuz sometimes i get a bit in my head when frustrated, but honestly my weak ass would be brought down with the promise of like,, a hug. i am really fucking starved of attention and tenderness and literally everything that parents are supposed to give you and i dont have the strength to be in denial about that. i literally started crying when my sister shared an experience with me that i fully related to.

LMAO WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS POST TURN INTO IM SORRY ITS LITERALLY 5:05AM AND WATCHING MOVIES AND SHIT ALWAYS PUTS ME IN A MOOD. well,, i was gonna tag this as "i experienced media" but after this fucking text wall of rambling on i dont think it fits that anymore.

[venusguks]

— saccharine boy

pairing : reader x jeon jungkook

summary : the new transfer student is a bit strange…

genre : yandere jk, future smut, angst, dark, obsessive/possessive jk

warnings : this includes DARK themes with heavy topics. i dont support this unhealthy relationship dynamic irl. a huge TW for suicide, suicidal thoughts, tendencies, coaxing, themes. this is pure fiction so please know that if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, this may be really really horrible to read :(( yn and jk both say shitty things

part 1 of ??

☽

i loved you before i even knew you

in days fleeting moments, the sun dipped into the ocean, casting a surge of honey waves to engulf the city whole.

it’s vast, golden essence poured through the mid-open windows and into the empty school hallways.

moments before, the laughter of the baseball team dissipated, and those who confessed to the whim of spring filtered emotions had left with tear stained cheeks.

it's empty enough that you can hear your own slip ons click against the floor.

click, click, click.

you walk up the stairs, stopping right in front of the rooftop door.

the rusted knob is cool under your skin, and bracing yourself for the wind, you twist it open.

the wind whisks past you ferociously, as if urging you to turn back. you should've heeded the warning then (how foolish of you not to), but instead, you open your eyes to the tangerine streaks of the sky.

that’s when you see him.

— ❝ hey, do you regret it? ❞

his silhouette wavered beyond the metal railings of the rooftop.

you don’t know why—what had possibly gone through your mind when you spoke. it wasn't your business—you could honestly care less for people like him,

because people like him were the same as you.

despite that, you couldn't stop yourself from screaming, "you're such an attention freak, you know that?! do you really want to be seen that much?"

his head slightly lifted.

would he listen to you? would he care?

because if it were you past that railing right now, you wouldn't stop for anyone.

but doesn’t he see?

if he jumps, right now, right in front of you,

doesn’t he know how much that would break you?

please, the wind swallows your desperation. i’m already broken enough, so please don't make it any worse.

when i muster up the courage like you someday, i need to die without the thought of you jumping in my head.

— ❝ oh, i see… you're scared of me.❞

"there are so many other ways to kill yourself. drowning, the rope—you can jump off literally any other god damned building for all i care—but don't you dare make it this building! don't you dare jump off in front of me."

you saw it, as the wind danced past him, just how lifeless his eyes were

it was as if the sun himself feared him—preferring to quickly drown into the blue abyss rather than be in his mere presence.

"i know this place is terrible—but the janitor is so kind. he's a single father of three children and if you jump, he'd have to break his back scrubbing your blood for hours. he'd come home and put on a happy face despite worrying if his children will turn out like you. so please, for the janitor's sake, deal with haunting this school a different way. your death would affect more people than you’d know, so please.”

he doesn’t move, so hesitantly, as if it would change anything, you quietly add, "ah, he gave me food one time too.”

the boy’s back quivered, and your own trembling heart ached for him—but what you thought was sniffing turned into a loud, hearty laugh

you stood there, dumbfounded as you watched him.

"you're..." he tries to say through his giggles. when he catches his breath, he finally turns to you with the biggest smile.

"you're really stupid."

— ❝ but would it help if i said i've always loved you? ❞

frozen, you can only stand there gaping at him.

"i was just watching the sunset, but your reaction was so funny. you don't know how hard it was not to laugh."

what…?

you blink once, twice—then turning your heel, you begin to walk away.

"h-hey! wait!" he called from beyond the railings. "i'm sorry, okay? i was having too much fun—i didn't mean to scare you. please forgive me."

"scare me?" you scoffed. "kill yourself for all i care. it doesn't have anything to do with me."

— ❝ since that day... ❞

you just blurted it out of spite. you knew it was cruel, you didn’t mean it. you were just so angry. how dare he make a fool out of you? make a joke out of this? in your eyes, he was far more cruel.

“fine then.”

you turn back with a vile glare, but your heart stops as he takes a step back.

the boy hums in viscous amusement when he sees the horror in your eyes. in front of the blazing red of the sun, wearing his wide smile, he resembled a demon.

"forgive me, or i'll let go."

"d-don’t be stupid," you scowl, but you could barely feel yourself breathe.

then, just like that, one of his finger tips leave the metal bar—then another, and another.

you don’t know when you started running or how you even got there, but as soon as you hooked your fingers around his collar, you gave everything to pull him back.

"are you crazy?!" you scream, hot tears trickling down your eyes.

his annoying fit of laughter only angered you more.

— ❝ i loved you before i even knew you. ❞

"like i said, forgive me—and i won't try it again," he chimed in a playful tone.

you couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

it scared you, his carelessness.

he scared you.

“okay, okay! i forgive you!” you yell exasperatedly. “god, you—you think this is funny? what the fuck is wrong with you?! you could’ve—just because i—y-you could’ve…r-right in front of me…and i-i…”

"hey, hey..." he chuckles softly, interlocking his fingers with yours through the metal fence.

you refused to look at him, but you could still feel the tingling warmth of his skin. you were close, the bars only stopping at your torso. when you look back at it, you remembered the seeping reality of his beauty.

his voice, his touch, him...

everything he did made you feel so out of control, so vulnerable.

who was he? why did you have to meet him?

"i knew you'd catch me, its fine."

"that's not the point here you suicidal bitch! i mean—what were you thinking? are you out of your mind? i swear to god—if you jumped and i became a suspect of murder, i'd dig up your own grave and kill you again!”

the boy’s eyes widened, shock dancing with his own bemusement. they were the same lifeless brown, but golden specks glimmered in where he looked at you.

finally, he smiles, “you’re horrible.”

you give a viscious glare, but before you can retort something, he continues, his hand trailing up your arm.

"but at the same time, horrible people don’t try to save a horrible person from dying. no, you can’t be horrible,” a cold shiver runs through your body when his fingers brush against your collarbone. “you’re just a sweet girl, aren’t you? an angel who saved me…”

he pulls you closer by your neck, his lips barely touching the shell of your ears. your breath hitches, and your knees suddenly feel weak.

“i’d love to ruin you.”

nothing comes out of your mouth.

all you can hear is your heart thumping against your chest. all you can feel is the unbearable heat blooming on your cheeks, and all you can see is him.

finally, his words settle in.

“get the fuck off me you creep!”

— ❝ you're never leaving me, my love. i won't let you. ❞

ː

a/n : i’m so so so sorry if this triggered some people. this may be poorly written as well as i’ve written this YEARS ago. as you might tell, i was suicidal then and i often incorporated that in writing—its a way to get it off my chest sort of. to have relatable characters is something thats always made me comfortable. honestly rereading it again nothing makes sense LOL but i thought i’d continue it just for fun. i hope whoever has come across this is having a lovely and healing day, stay safe starlights <3