#i feel like I wanted a little more of a narrative voice re: prose; and also worldbuilding

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

The Stones Stay Silent

high fantasy

an aroace trans man and his amnesiac smoke-demon friend travel across the land to find a place where he can be himself (and maybe become a baker)

plus the friends they meet on the way

world with absent gods, strict gender roles, and a deadly plague

[familyabolisher]

re: annihilation im glad im not the only one who disliked it lol! ive struggled thru the second book as well bc people keep telling me the third is the best but. we'll see. id be curious abt ur thoughts & if you have similar critiques (lack of interiority for the mc for one, a lack of clarity on Whats Going On but not in a fun way imo but in a way that makes me really unsure what the Point of it all is, & (book 2) just. the most tedious mommy issues ive ever had to read thru) or if its something else entirely. no pressure tho! i just like hearing ur opinions on things.

tbh my immensely pedestrian answer is that i just couldn’t get on with the style at all—it felt very clumsy and, like, amateurish. i got the sense that vandermeer wanted to narrate The Horrors in a quotidian, somewhat clinical tone that established a discordance around an effort to record and empirically tackle something that resisted the boundaries of human language and communication, and i think a more skilled writer could have pulled that off to great effect; however, as it was, he neither leant far enough into that voice that the discordance could fully emerge & exert a significant enough narrative force to make the piece compelling, nor relaxed it enough to allow his language to play around with the lurid, macabre, paranatural setting. 

like, for example, i’ve just gone to a random page to give you some sense of what i mean.

This was really the only thing I discovered in him after his return: a deep and unending solitude, as if he had been granted a gift that he didn’t know what to do with. A gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him. But would it have killed me? That was the question that crept into my mind even as I stared into his eyes those last few times, willing myself to know his thoughts and failing. As I labored at my increasingly repetitive job, in a sterile lab, I kept thinking about Area X, and how I would never know what it was like without going there. No one could really tell me, and no account could possibly be a substitute. So several months after my husband died, I volunteered for an Area X expedition. A spouse of a former expedition member had never signed up before. I think they accepted me in part because they wanted to see if that connection might make a difference. I think they accepted me as an experiment. But then again, maybe from the start they expected me to sign up.

this is like … the first time we get a real, direct account of the biologist’s backstory. it’s like a speedrun of heterosexual our wives under the sea (also a bad book btw lol) and is supposed to pack a pretty hefty emotional punch, but it’s just … well, i mean. “a gift that was poison to him and eventually killed him.” like, the extract falls back on cliches; the prose lands in a very ‘safe’ register and feels a little afraid to push anywhere significantly outside of that. this is pretty representative of (what i read of) the whole book, tbh—and it stings especially when you have things like a mysterious tunnel-tower seemingly made of flesh that only the narrator can see that’s spawning fungi spelling out sentences as other characters in the novel start to die … like, that’s good, and that’s just really not being communicated on the page in any compelling manner. 

it felt as though vandermeer had established this fascinating world and then just failed to communicate any of it to any memorable standard. also, the pacing was all over the place, lol—like, take your time with it a little more, spend some time on setting and description! or if you want to lean into that clipped, clinical account, maybe experiment a little more with the texture that that could lend; like, journals, reports, the kind of temporal weirdness that those can generate (as is common in the gothic novel, for instance) … like, there were just a lot of ins where vandermeer could have negotiated a more interesting piece of work than what i was reading.

it just felt very, like—the word coming to mind for me is ‘timid.’ like the text found its own concepts a little too unwieldy and pared itself down into a very meek prose rather than rising to the challenge that its scaffolding presented. and as a result, i was just, like, bored and irritated trying to read it. i’m told that the film is very different so i might give that a go at some point, but i really couldn’t push through to the end of the book, lmao. maybe it’s worth reading for like the last 70 pages, but i’ll never know. sad! well there’s other genre fiction

[septembersghost]

i'm super curious, I don't listen to Taylor Swift, but how do you guys know all this stuff about her personal life without actually knowing her personally?

i truly don't know how to explain this succinctly, but for those of us who've followed her career and held her music, and her, close for a long time (it's me, hi! since late 2008 in my case)...she's a diaristic storyteller. her songs are pulled directly from her life, and one of her gifts is specificity and detail that makes you feel like you can see the picture she's weaving in her lyrics - take, for example, the opening line of All Too Well, "I walked through the door with you, the air was cold, but something 'bout it felt like home somehow, and I left my scarf there, at your sister's house, and you've still got it, in your drawer, even now," it sets the whole scene, the time of year, the chill in the air, the feeling of longing, the hurt of missing something. whether she's relying on narrative prose or leaning more into the metaphorically poetic (writing about her longtime love like, "Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind, head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in, as if you were a mythical thing, like you were a trophy or a champion ring, and there was one prize I'd cheat to win," which is only one example because we have songs about him scattered and twinkling across five entire albums now, which is half of her discography!), we are clued into what she's discussing.

an unfortunate and often damaging and unfair thing for taylor is that she has been hounded, dissected, diaparaged, slut shamed, and unavoidably covered by the press. so the major relationships of her life (romances and friendships) have been documented with scrutinizing detail since she was still a teenager (which she was already hurt over a decade ago, and the agony in her voice is even more potent in the re-recording of The Lucky One, "and your secrets end up splashed on the news frontpage"), and her only real way of reclaiming her life and her experiences has always been to put them into song. when she created her first five albums (self-titled debut, Fearless, Speak Now, Red, 1989), she also encoded little messages for us to decipher in her lyric booklets, to clue us in to what a given song might be about, which was fun for us, but another form of her trying to hold onto her agency and express her stories how she wanted, i think. the media knew who she'd dated and where she'd been, but with us she shares the emotional journey, the effect these things have had on her.

some of it is inference - there's something i knew to be happening circa 2014-2015 (a couple of things, actually) that was so upsetting for me, i had to get distance for a while because it was too triggering and too recognizable, and that was painful for me and i still feel sad looking back on it, but she herself has confirmed everything i was worried about at the time (first in her documentary, Miss Americana, which also gives more insight into her as a person), and mentions it directly on this record, and i ache for her but am also so proud of how far she's come.

when she was eviscerated by everyone in 2016 over a leaked phone call and blatant lie (which has now been concretely proven as such), and the internet was cheering for her downfall and posting the hashtag "#taylorswiftisoverparty," and bombarding her with snake emojis, and painting murals celebrating her "death," and vilifying her...i can't begin to describe what that felt like to witness from the perspective of the fans who care about her. she is still working through trauma from this (among other things). she disappeared for a while, she didn't know if we'd care if she came back. the fact that she did at all is remarkably resilient. when she lost her masters in 2019, she told us immediately and we inherently understood why it was devastating for her, why her music not being her own was terrible, because these albums are her life's work, they are her blood, sweat, and tears (as she sings in You're On Your Own, Kid). she's re-recording those first six albums to reclaim her work and her ownership, but she's also doing some of that for us - so she's done things like including the vault songs, or, in the case of the long fabled ten minute version of All Too Well, creating a short film to accompany it. it's just...she's trusted and let us in to many, many things. when she talks about a given song or subject, or references a specific detail, she knows we'll get it. we know who the primary subject of Red is, so when she wears the Red ring and announces a song that's ultimately about the love being every shade of red (Maroon), we know what she means. when she interpolates a song from 1989 (Out Of the Woods, which has a specific story, which we know is connected to other tracks on the record, including Style, and then it's like, well, look at the name!) into a new song (Question...?) asking questions from the past, we know who she's asking. when she mentions her girlhood and the devastation of something very dark happening and leaving her wounded at nineteen in Would've Could've Should've, still regretting it now, we already have the frame of "don't you think nineteen's too young to be played by your dark, twisted games, when I loved you so?" in Dear John. when she writes about her partner, whether it's cheeky and fun ("karma is my boyfriend") or deeply vulnerable ("you looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops, that was the night I nearly I lost you" or "you know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back, just like that" or "outside, they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" or "I've never seen someone lit from within, blurring out my periphery"), she's already given us mosaic pieces of their story, so we understand where the new ones fit when we hear them. she recalls imagery and circumstances on purpose. (ie: "he's passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky" -> "one night a few moons ago, I saw flecks of what could've been lights, but it might just have been you, passing by unbeknownst to me," "I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans" -> "I laid the groundwork, and then just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a line," i could go on about these things forever, i could write a novel just about lyrical parallels and motifs throughout her songs).

i can't properly encapsulate sixteen years' worth of her songs and stories and the myriad ways she's let fans in to know and understand, it's very layered and long-standing and does kind of become a if you know, you know situation. she trusts us with that, as much as any artist can trust millions of strangers who've listened to her grow up and treasured her music and woven it into our own lives and our own stories too. she can't know us directly, nor are we part of her personal life, but she does open her heart to us in a way that's unique to her.

in the past couple of years, we've gotten to see her thrive artistically, with the love of her life by her side, with a support system and wonderful friends and collaborators around her, in a new, richer way, and it's really beautiful and extraordinary to witness. the staggering success she's experiencing with Midnights, which the industry said couldn't be done!, is, like i said in the other post, because she has been so earnest and authentic, and she's enough as her true self, she always has been, but this is finally a time where i think she can fully rejoice in it, and i hope she is. she's not only an incomparable artist and master songwriter, which absolutely will go down as legendary in the annals of music, she's a really special, luminous person, and i admire and love her dearly, which is a sentiment longtime fans share, and i can also say without hesitation (and i know i'm not alone in this) that i wouldn't still be here (or even quite be who i am) without her.

[djmarinizelablog]

hi! read your last ask and you said that you took up creative writing classes so you might have a wider knowledge about this but i was wondering when u mentioned different writing styles (like minimalistic, hightened imagery, linear vilennete and all of that) could you maybe explain the difference and what they really mean and maybe examples in our own levihan nation and writers? this might be asking for too much but i was pretty lost and i'd like to know more about all that. however you are def free to ignore this too!

Did you just ask me to write a comprehensive poetics essay, Anon? (I love writing about writing lmao)

Super long post ahead, and I’ll be citing certain fanfics that I’ve read so far and those that I think somehow exemplifies all the different writing styles I mentioned in the previous post. 

First off, the ones I listed beforehand (minimalistic prose, heightened imagery, poetic language, linear narrative, non-linear vignettes) aren’t the only types of writing styles. There are more if you consider the variations of tone (humor/comedy, sentimental, macabre, noir etc), narration/perspective (first person, second person, third person omniscient/limited), and language (dialogue-heavy or action/scene-driven). And the nice thing is that you can actually use of one or two of them in your work---or all of them, if you’re feeling bold. 

As Hange always loves to do: “Let’s experiment!”

--------

I’ll start with minimalistic prose. It is what it is: short, clear, and concise. Think less is more. You have an economy with words where you disregard most adverbs and focus more on the context to make way for meaning, thus allowing the readers to create their own interpretations of your writing. I think the method here is to write your intended draft first, and then cut the unnecessary words to flesh out the scene even more.

Notice how @stereobone wrote this paragraph of Black Dog (an Eruri fic):

Isabel's voice wakes him, brother, brother, has him sitting upright in bed and grabbing for the knife under his mattress. He braces himself for the attack before he realizes there isn't one. There is nothing in the darkness but him and his heavy, panicked breathing. Levi's heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of his chest. He drops the knife on the mattress and shuts his eyes and tries not to think about Farlan's bloody resigned face before he was eaten. He tries not to think about how he left them. How it's his fault.

It’s very simplistic in language; the paragraph lets you focus on Levi’s innermost thoughts while he deals with an external action (ie, having nightmares). The author hasn’t unraveled the rest of the plot yet, but you already know where the tension is coming from.

Next is heightened imagery. If you’re familiar with the different figures of speech (metaphor, simile, personification, hyperbole, etc), then this is where they all come into play. I think the challenge here is being able to balance it well with the text itself and make sure that the imagery actually clarifies the context of the paragraph instead of convoluting the intended meaning. 

Here’s an excerpt from A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me:

Hanji watched Levi, standing there, head bent and bloodied handkerchief pressed against his arm, and was reminded, irrationally, of a night years ago. When her parents had taken her to the circus. [. . . .] Holding her parent’s hands, she’d gaped, head craned back as she watched the spectacle, a cacophonous mixture of sound and color. At the center of it all, she’d spied a boy. Among the twisting colors and tricks, he alone, was still. [. . . .] The boy was high above, balancing on a platform atop a long pole. In front of him, stretched an audaciously thin rope. Below, no net waited to catch him.

[. . . .]

When Levi looked up, his expression was set - like the boy before the tightrope. And she knew, with sinking certainty, he was going to take the step. Into thin air.

Gray eyes met her gaze and held it.

“Yeah. I’ll go.”

At the door, Kenny smiled.

See how the powerful imagery of the boy on the tightrope was able to fuel the tension in that moment among Levi, Hange, and Kenny? 

I think poetic language is akin to heightened imagery, except that the former is more focused on the actual language. It’s very lyrical, wherein you can actually hear the lulling song of the sentences in a rhythm. One of my favorite works that does this is Deep sea baby by @smallblip. Here she makes use of various setting and scenery to create this entire atmosphere of Levi and Hange’s relationship:

Hanji knows whatever life they've led, this is her favourite.

The one in which her and Levi see the sea for the first time together.

The one in which she’s the Commander, and him, her Captain. And between them, a river of words left unsaid threatening to break the banks.

One day they must cross the ocean, but today they visit the shores again, without the kids this time. And Levi learns why when he watches her peel at her clothes. Her harness comes off first, then her blouse, then everything else, like a little dance for an audience of one. Levi tries not to stare, but he’s already seen her by candlelight in the dead of the night. And yet she never fails to take his breath away.

She makes her way to where the white foams dredge the past up the shores of the present.

"Come on Levi! The water is warm!" she says, and he hears it like a call to come home- where the heavens collide with the sea.

He takes off his clothes and folds them in a neat pile beside Hanji's mess. He swims out to join her.

It’s hauntingly poetic, the way the author is able to connect the metaphor in “a river of words” to the actual body of water right in front of Levi and Hange. Good poetic language is able to tighten up the texts together while keeping the sentence structure flowing with apt figures of speech.

When it comes to narratives, it only comes down to linear or non-linear. See how @lostcauses-noregrets does her opening statement in Trains (also an Eruri fic):

Levi hates trains. To be fair, Levi hates all forms of public transport, but he reserves a particular loathing for trains. They’re dirty, noisy, smelly and worse, filled with people. People who, heaven forbid, might attempt to speak to Levi, engage him in conversation. Levi’s worst nightmare is being stuck on a train with some friendly fuck who wants to pass the time making small talk. Admittedly it’s not a problem he has to deal with too often, his general fuck off demeanour deters all but the most aggressively friendly and hopelessly inebriated. But that doesn’t stop Levi from hating trains.

It’s a short fic and it’s very dependent on the linearity of events happening. But with that banger of a first sentence, the beginning already gives you enough of an idea of Levi’s pet peeve in the story, which in this case, is trains.

Here’s another hot and steamy fic called keep him waiting by keobuns that shows a linear narrative: 

He’s sitting with them in the back of the lab, nursing a cup of tea — it’s still pretty full, and even cold now, for he was far too distracted listening to Hanji talk to properly drink — when he sees it. Hanji’s too preoccupied with overexplaining the same Titan experiment they’ve gone over a hundred times to notice his stare. They just continue on and on and on, gesturing with their hands, pointing with their fingers, flexing their wrists…

Ah. Levi has to bring his teacup to his lips to hide the way his lips tremble. Hanji has incredibly nice hands.

The entire story just revolves around Levi simping for Hange’s hands and how it all goes down from there. But you as a reader are kept wanting more with every paragraph and every sentence that the author constructs (and trust me, it’s not just the sexual tension between Levi and Hange that keeps us going).

Now, as much as I love the straightforwardness of linear prose, non-linear writing brings a different round of ideas onto the table. It can create recollections from flashbacks, heighten the perspective or interior turmoil of a character due to trauma or grief, or even just re-invent what-if scenes that the characters have imagined themselves. 

Gnossiene by @thatalmondgirl​ is one of my all-time favorite Rivetra fics. In this excerpt, you will see how she switches between the past and the present, and how it affects Petra’s POV as a conflicted character:

Contrary to popular belief (fuck Auruo) Petra actually didn’t cry easily.

Alright, she could admit that at some times, she was...emotional. It was far from a weakness, but even she could admit that they sometimes got in the way and walled off all rational thought. Anger, frustration, sadness, hell, even happiness. The only one she could easily compartmentalise away was fear, which probably stemmed from her military career. Even so. It was never easy to separate all the others from her actions, think from a clean slate like the Commander could do, like the captain. [. . . ] Petra groaned, splayed out across her bed. She drew her arm across her eyes, willing the tears to go away. She’d already blown through her tissue box.

“Petra, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Mama sat on the end of her bed, with Petra on the floor between her legs. Even though Petra argued firmly that she was old enough to brush her own hair, Mama had insisted. Unfortunately, Petra wasn’t old enough - and probably never would be - to disagree with her mother.

“I know, Mama.” Petra grumbled.

“I don’t think you do. Else you wouldn’t be crying, would you?”

[. . . .]

“But a man shouldn’t complete you when you complete yourself. Maybe he’s an extension to your house. So you’ll be sad if the extension is compromised or burns down. But you still have the main house. And if it’s strong, the main house can still be standing even after the worst storm.”

Aside from Mama’s crazy metaphors that sometimes didn’t make sense, her message hit home. Even if it hit home years later.

See how it switched in between the before and after? 

An off-shoot of non-linear writing are vignettes (a layering of scenes separated by section breaks) wherein this writing style allows writers to curate scenes in terms of fragments, creating some kind of mosaic for the readers once they finally see the big picture. Nakimochiku’s I’m leaving, are you coming with me? stacks up scenes of interactions between Levi and Hange, enough to depict the kind of relationship that they have as young lovers in a school setting. You can string these fragments together, rearrange them in a different order, but in the end, you will still get the author's clear goal of highlighting how Levi and Hange’s relationship develops over time.

Those are the styles that I mentioned in my previous posts, but as I’ve told you, there’s more to writing than those, so I’ll give a short run-through of other methods in writing. 

Whether it’s dialogue-heavy works such as from my window to yours, or action-driven scenes like Carnivores (a Levi x Reader fic by CaptainDegenerate) that propel the story forward, we as readers should be able to follow through the actual storyline that the authors intend to take us. 

A third-person limited (we listen to Hange’s thoughts in Clockwork by @tundrainafrica) vis-à-vis an all-knowing/omniscient narration (the moon is dark by @sayonarasanity alternates the perspective of Levi and Hange) should be able to make us understand why the author chose this particular kind of point-of-view in order to tell the story. 

And lastly, having a solid and consistent tone throughout the work (the macabre of Even Humanity’s Strongest could make mistakes by Rimeko versus the sweet sentimentality of Flowers for You by @fanmoose12) should be able to set the atmosphere that the authors want us to imbibe as we read through their works. 

So there’s your crash course on writing and reading. Enjoy? :) 

[angieschiffahoi]

Before I start Harrow, I want to share my thoughts on Gideon.

 Spoilers ahead.

While I don’t believe it was the greatest book ever written, it was perfectly fitting for me.

The genre: It was a mix between sci-fi and fantasy, very simple in its worldbuilding, it didn’t shy from some exposition (I hate new fantasy books that don’t use exposition at all... you’re not that good at the spreading the information thingy, I don’t understand your overly complicated worldbuilding!) and used it in pretty much conventional ways. It didn’t invent every single tiny little thing (which I find very annoying in modern fantasy and sci-fi books - let your MC say fuck), but mixed things familiar with our world with future/innovative elements, almost seamlessly. Thank you, Tamsyn, for using insults we know (I understand why TV shows do it, it’s to keep a PG-13 rating and still use swear words, but I find it insufferable when books try to invent terms for everything... even pens or bread). 

I’ve seen people say it is heavily sci-fi and I disagree. It is not hard sci-fi in the slightest and the magical/necromantic elements are a lot more technical than any of the technology, which was basically non-existent (at times I was stunned whenever they mentioned anything that was “modern” or techy, since it felt like fantasy 80% of the time). The author built a magic system and tried to fit it into a sci-fi setting. It very much resembled Warhammer 40k at times (come on, the Undying Emperor?) and had they mentioned Chaos Gods every now and then, I would have believed this was a WH 40K novelette a-la Blackstone Fortress.

The plot: Gay necromancers in space, with a plot similar to And Then There Were None which at times felt a little bit like Catching Fire as well (Tamsyn, did you read my diary?). It was very simple, straightforward and the fact that we only had one narrating voice made it very easy to read and to follow along. The fact that it was a bit cinematic is probably the reason I managed to finish it (I am tired of 100 subplots and 200 characters in the same book). All of the plot twists felt earned, because looking back I can see where the author left those crumbs. I feel like the red herrings were a bit weak (except Ianthe at the end, which was a bit disappointing as the main villain so I was glad to see she was one), because I started to suspect Dulcinea right away (even though I never would have guessed why). Also, I was too focused on the characters to actually pay attention to the plot, so I didn’t guess much going forward, which made me feel pretty stupid, because some of that shit was very obvious. 

The characters: What I really loved was Gideon’s voice. The first few chapters were a bit flowery and there was a lot of purple prose to set the tone (which failed a bit, because I still imagined it more as a fantasy setting than a sci-fi one), but then it flawed perfectly. The jokes (narrated or spoke aloud) were great and it felt like they always fit. Sometimes the insults were a bit gratuitous but I like the trope of being infuriated with someone all of the time, you can’t help but think “oh fuck this bitch”. Also, the puns. Gideon, I love you. I would’ve liked them to be more mature (maybe 20 somethings), but it’s because I’m old and I want this type of narratives to have older MCs sometimes. 

Harrow really picked up in the second part of the book and I can’t wait to see how she’s changed in the second one. Loved Dulcinea from the start and I don’t care she was an evil god-like entity. She was a bit over the top in the battle (that thing about the arms and legs, why?!?), but I do love a dramatic bitch (I still lowkey like her & Gideon together). I was sorry for the Fourth & Fifth houses, but while I loved Magnus, I couldn’t stand the teenagers (but I did feel so, so sorry for Gideon). The Third house was obnoxious and I enjoyed Corona the most. I’m pretty sure Ianthe’s coming back, so we’ll see about that. Not gonna talk about the Eight - gave me WH 40K Inquisitor vibes, felt unneccessarily over the top. The Second was forgettable, I didn’t even understand the captain was a necromancer until she killed Teacher. And Sixth, oh, my darlings. If Camilla is dead I’m going to burn my kindle. Writing wise, concentrating on only one POV, kind of underdevelops secondary characters, so while Gideon’s voice was very strong, I feel like everyone else was a bit forgettable unless Gideon spent time on them. It was a book that could’ve easily been written in first person, if it didn’t have that ending. 

The relationship: I am going to be brief - I love rivalry that turns to love (any kind of love). So, I loved every single interaction between Harrow and Gideon (the pool scene broke me). Palamedes and Harrow had chemistry. I loved that Gideon just adopted everyone: I am your cavalier, now I am yours! Oh, screw it! I’m going to protect everyone! Gideon is such a himbo, even though she’s a shembo, but not a bimbo? I hated every single time the Third called their cavalier “Babs”. 

Things that were left open and Tamsyn better solve before the end of the series: “Gideon, you’re a ginger!” and basically everything fake!Dulcinea told Gideon about her past (”You don’t know what you are to me”). Also, why Gideon didn’t die when she was a child (and the obvious, where is she from?). Where are Corona and Camilla? What happened to Gideon’s body? And a few things I forgot about, because I wrote this “review” yesterday in my head and I didn’t write stuff down. 

Overall it was a very pleasant experience. And I may re-read it in the future to catch the foreshadowing and some hints. Now, onto Harrow the Ninth! Which is confusing? ‘Cause the Emperor called her Harrow the First?

Anyways. We love a tiny goth stirring shit with her “dead” girlfriend’s  two-hander. I am a bit scared, though, since what I really loved was Gideon’s narrating voice, but I’m guessing Harrow picked up some of her mannerism since she “ate” her? We’ll see. 

[citamutiara]

Being able to function normally during the pandemic and political turmoil sounds like a frivolous idea. This week, work was a little busier than usual and my plan to study German properly seemed to wither away (I mean how could you study, wenn alles irgendwie anstrengend!). So, this time I just want to share books I have read featuring female writers from different background i.e POC, LGBTQ, immigrants, cis-gender white female among others.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation – Ottessa Moshfegh

A strange novel about an educated, white, thin, pretty, young, rich (basically uber-privileged lady) who can afford to experiment in narcotic hibernation, aided and abetted by one of the worst psychiatrists. She lives in the Upper East Side of Manhattan paid for, like everything else, by her inheritance. In other words, she can live comfortably without having to do any jobs *gasp*. Reading this book is like an ode to go against the current and escape capitalism where our life is measured by productivity and if anything the heroine in this book could proof that doing nothing is a luxury.     

The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy

This is a solid Greek tragedy and I am not even exaggerating. Set in Kerala, India, the story hovers around the life of a twin who went through A LOT (and still not exaggerating) including the caste system, religious tensions, communism, forbidden love, history and colonialism, class, culture, among others. I can imagine the atmosphere of book to be grim and uncomfortable, but the prose, choice of words and metaphors are too pretty to be missed (even when the ending was a little bit of a shocker!). Please read this, hmu when you have finished and let’s have an angry crying fest.

Alien & Anorexia – Chris Krauss

After I Love Dick and now this! Fun, tongue-in-cheek yet stylish and full of panache kind of title. Chris Krauss combined philosophy, part memoir, part biography, and art criticism in a whole ass book pondering the life and work of Simone Weil (an ‘anorexic’ French commie philosopher), Ulrike Meinhof (a West German far-left militant who allegedly committed suicide in her prison cell) and Paul Thek (an American artist).

The story hovers around those notable beings interpolated with Chris Krauss’ narrative and/or personal essays as a bulimic writer purging words from a mind that wants to empty itself, become alien, de-create. Sex. S and M phone sex with ‘Africa’. Her failed movie project, Gravity & Grace. Extra-marital affairs. Sounds like a recipe of a disaster but Chris Krauss managed to string them beautifully that I thoroughly enjoy this book. Brilliant -if not sublime. MUST READ.

A Mercy – Toni Morisson

A story of four females (three slaves and one mistress) trying their best to carry on with their lives in the 1680’s when slave trade was still in infancy where class division, prejudice and oppression were rampant. The four voices echoed through the book are Florens who were casted off by her mother to another master wishing to save her but ended up never able to exorcise that initial abandonment only to experience another bigger and destructive abandonment that change Floren’s course of life forever; Lina, an aborigine whose tribe was decimated by smallpox and was so damaged that she avoided love at all cost; Rebekka the mistress, who flee from religious intolerant England with the promise of new land in America only to be embittered by childlessness and husband’s early death; lastly, Sorrow, the weird girl with no re-collection of her earlier life trying to cope with her new life as a slave. Beautifully written but I feel the character development is lacking and when the book finally ended, I was underwhelmed and parched for wanting to know more about them.

Home Fire – Kamila Shamsie

The story focused around three orphans of Pakistani descent who lives in the United Kingdom. Another tragic story where family were torn apart when their father, who had been a jihadist had died in American custody. This is set at the time when the attraction of going to Raqqa, Syria to join ISIL was there for some Muslim youth and the family are being watched because of their father.

Another main character is Kamarat Lone, the UK’s Home Secretary, who were brought up as a Muslim but has been very critical against British Muslims saying that they are not British-enough (which I would like to argue that British-ness is a very vague concept). This book brings us the question of self-identity as a Muslim in a secular world where one has to follow the ‘norm’ in order not to be prejudiced as well as question about nationality, citizenship, loyalty and betrayal.

Self-Help – Lorrie Moore

A collection of short stories rich with characters and wit that it did not need to be a whole-ass hundred pages of explanation to get the points across and to evoke hear-pangs to the reader. It started strongly with ‘How to be an other women’ (which kinda explain why the anthology is called Self-Help) telling story of a woman who learns how to conduct an affair, followed by a tale of one’s life seized by a cold man, kid’s guide to divorce, a woman with terminal illness contemplates her exit (disclaimer: those who are suicidal please refrain from reading this story!), a woman contemplates ways to end a dying relationship, notes on how to talk to one’s mother and how to become a writer. Solid book! 10/10 would recommend.

Jenny Hval – Paradise Rot (not pictured, read the E-book version)

Ok I am tired of typing but I have so many questions after reading this book, is Carral (one of the main characters in the book) is real? If not is she a ghost? Monster? Zombie? Or a.. mushroom? Also did Jenny (also one of the main characters) were taking so much shrooms that she had her brain damaged and Carral was actually a figment of her imagination thanks to her rotten brain? Anybody wants to have discussions about Carral’s existence?

[ghostsofmemories]

Problems I’ve Been Having With Writing // How I Plan To Fix Them

Before reading this post, consider checking out the Teespring Shop with designs by myself and my friend Alexx, where 100% of the proceeds are donated to the Black Lives Matter organization.

It’s no secret that lately, working on my novel has been a struggle. I used to be able to write entire books with 80k+ words at 14, and now I’m struggling just to hit 10k in a project I’ve been working on for 3 months.

Some of this could be attributed to COVID-19, my crazy school schedule (with thankfully is over now), and my job. However, my main issues are with motivation, self-confidence, and remembering how prose works after over a year of writing only poetry. I did this under a cut because, well, it’s long.

Problem 1 - Motivation, Mental Illness, & Activism

Finding motivation these days is more than just difficult. As someone with chronic illness and also OCD, the urge to do things only when I’m feeling up to them and the desire to have a daily schedule (with writing included) are always at war, and neither of them winning. It’s impossible for me to do the same amount of work every day or week, but also hard to cope with the lack of stability.

On top of that, I’ve been trying using my platforms on social media to promote, donate to, and educate myself on the Black Lives Matter movement. As someone who uses social media (especially Tumblr, with its tagging system) to organize my thoughts on, and hold myself accountable for my writing, it becomes really difficult to manage both activism and writing on my social media - especially when the movements going on are more significant than what I have to say about my WIP. 

The solution to both of these problems, as difficult as they are to manage, is finding balance. For OCD and chronic illness, I’m trying to figure out which parts of the day I’m feeling the most energized and motivated so I can schedule my writing around those chunks of time - which I think fall between 10am and 12pm.

For balancing activism and personal social media stuff, it’s a little more difficult. So far, I’m thinking the best way to deal with it is to link my main contribution to the movement so far (mine and Alexx’s Teespring shop) to all the posts that might lean on the personal/writing side, and continuing to uplift Black voices when they come across my dash, and actively seek them out when I have the energy to do so.

By no means will these completely solve the problems, but hopefully they’ll help me find time and energy to write when I can.

Problem 2 - Self-Confidence

Every writer has issues with not believing in themselves from time to time, but lately mine have become overwhelming. This could have something to do with the fact that I can hardly get words down in the first place. My mind has been very stubborn in allowing me to come up with words that flow in a narrative way, and I usually spend a lot longer on one or two sentences than I’d like to. 

Similar with that issue, almost all of the writing I read is by, well, adults. Many of the writers I follow on Tumblr are also adults. I’m a month from seventeen, but I’ve always been told that I act or present as a lot older, so I guess I always expected my fiction writing would be as aged and confident as posts like this, my essays for school, and the research I put together for my own purposes. While my writing quality might read as a little older or more skilled than a sixteen year old, it still feels like it’s lacking in quality and like I haven’t progressed at all since my last novel (which directly ties into the next point, but I’ll get there in a minute).

The only way to get over this issue is to write and not stop because I think it’s bad. I know that. It’s easier said than done, of course, but I think that with time and a lot of forcing myself through is going to help. 

Problem 3 - The Super Long Break I Took/Poetry

The last time I finished a novel was in December of 2018, so I’ve taken a break that lasted well over a year. I was still writing during this time, but it was pretty much all poetry, besides a few attempts that never got past a few pages and a WIP intro post (sorry about that, everyone). 

Basically, I’ve forgotten how to write prose and storylines. That can be re-learned, though, which is why I’m sticking to OITW even though I’m beginning to realize I don’t love writing fantasy as much as I used to (I will still very gladly read it, though).

There’s another problem that came with that one, though, which sort of ties into my issues with confidence in my writing:

Poetry comes easily to me. I hear some novelists talking about their short ventures into poetry and how they would spend forever on a poem and how difficult it was, but that’s not what poetry is like for me. I grew up with my mom, my aunt, and for a short time my great grandma who were all poets. I was always exposed to poetry and felt a deep connection to it, which makes it simple (most of the time) to write.

Plus, due to the internet and me being me, I was exposed to the art of slam poetry when I was 13 (it’s something I daydream about, but my insecurities surrounding my stammer kind of stop me there. Plus I live in the middle of nowhere). Poetry is everything to me.

So you can imagine it’s a little frustrating that I can bust out a contest-winning poem in three minutes but struggle to write 200 words a week when I’ve been writing novels longer. This has honestly been one of the hardest parts of writing OITW - it’s harder than I expected it to be. The words don’t flow like they used to.

Combating this issue, while it’s taken a blow to my confidence, has actually been a little easier than I thought. I have to make myself write, of course, that one’s kind of obvious. But the one that I missed for so long was reading.

I’ve been reading almost nothing for the past year, minus a book I got for Christmas that, surprise surprise, got me inspired to write again. My best friend talked me into reading Carry On by Rainbow Rowell and not only is it awesome, I read the 500+ page book in under 48 hours. I can’t remember the last time I read a book that quick.

I’ve also been slowly making my way through A History Of Wolves by Emily Fridlund, but I think I need to re-start it because when I first started reading it, I was working a full time job, doing 5 classes for school, and struggling with my physical health (more than I usually am).

Reading isn’t going to make my prose read like water or anything, and neither are any of these other “solutions”. However, despite being a lot more easily said than done, I feel like they’re going to help. And let’s be real, I need all the help I can get.

Want to check out that shop but don’t want to scroll for a million years to get to it? Here it is again! We’ve raised over $100 for BLM and plan to continue selling these designs for donation indefinitely, unless we specifically take them down (though I can’t think of any reason we’d do that).

[neuxue]

Do you have any recommendations for fantasy reads that are dark but not all the way grimdark? You seem like someone who would have suggestions!

I do indeed! That’s a broad category so I’ve put together a list that should span at least something of a range of different types of ‘dark’. I’m not including comprehensive content warnings, because given the nature of this list it would take all day, but feel free to ask if you want more detailed warnings for any of these.

I’m also only including books I’ve read (I have lots on my to-read list that supposedly fit the dark-but-not-grimdark description), so anyone else should feel free to add your suggestions (I say somewhat selfishly, as this is a genre I am also always in the market for recommendations for).

In alphabetical order:

Baru Cormorant (The Traitor Baru Cormorant, The Monster Baru Cormorant; more to come) by Seth Dickinson. There are books that are dark because of the world they’re set in; there are books that are dark because of the things that happen to the characters…and then there are books that are dark because they focus on the darkness within those characters. This is one of those; Baru Cormorant is savagely intelligent and competent, single-minded in her goals but wide-ranging and creative in her ways of accomplishing them, and will not hesitate to set fire to everything, including herself, to see her ends achieved. The books are a sort of…loving deconstruction not of a villain but of an entire set of traits that are usually ascribed to villainy, in a way that holds nothing back and exposes the sharp edges to show both the bloody ruin and the beauty they make. It’s also a rare chance to see a female character cast in this particular archetype. Book 2 is…darker but also really fucking weird. You’ve been warned.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone (Daughter of Smoke and Bone, Days of Blood and Starlight, Dreams of Gods and Monsters) by Laini Taylor. These fall into the category of ‘aesthetically dark’, and lean more towards the YA/romance (with a healthy side of celestial war), but the world is pretty and magic is pain, so there’s that.

Doctrine of Labyrinths (Mélusine, The Virtu, The Mirador, Corambis) by Sarah Monette. Three books hurt, one book comfort. Very very dark, in the way that fantasy of this time period often is, but done…well, I’m not going to say tastefully, because that would imply that Monette shies away from literally anything at all, which she very much does not, but done in a way that doesn’t shy from consequences either. More character-driven than plot-driven, but the characters include a character who is very much My Type (as well as being pretty much the textbook definition of 'disaster gay’), if that tells you anything, and the relationship between the two protagonist brothers, as it unfolds, is messy and complicated and beautiful.

Gentleman Bastard Sequence (The Lies of Locke Lamora, Red Seas under Red Skies, The Republic of Thieves; more books to come) by Scott Lynch. Dark with a huge side of sarcastic humour. And heists. Lots of heists. Locke is an absolute disaster of a protagonist (really just an absolute disaster full stop), and watching him is like watching a train wreck that turns out to be a Rube Goldberg machine. These probably lean a little closer to grimdark than some of the others on this list (characters die; you’ve been warned), but I think they still ultimately toe the line.

His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass/Northern Lights, The Subtle Knife, The Amber Spyglass) by Philip Pullman. So technically these are children’s books, but I’d argue they definitely deserve to be described as 'dark’, if in a different way than some of the others on this list. Probably not for you if you’re offended by blasphemy against Christianity (in the words of a friend, these are 'Pullman’s extended callout of the Catholic church’), but if that doesn’t bother you these are probably the first on my list of Formative Fantasy Influences and I love them to pieces. Contains a rather excellent dark Power Couple that, in retrospect, probably defined a lot of what would become My Type in fictional characters. Also gay angels.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N.K. Jemisin. Another one that is probably best described as 'aesthetically dark’. Really interesting setting and characters; if you like dysfunctional families and hot chained gods, this book is for you. It’s the first of a series, but the only one I’ve read so far so I can’t vouch for the others. That said, it reads well as a standalone so you can try it and see if you want more.

Kushiel (Kushiel’s Dart, Kushiel’s Chosen, Kushiel’s Avatar) - Jacqueline Carey. Politics a la Game of Thrones, but told from the perspective of a courtesan, in a world where the whores have voices and agency. Beautiful prose, lots of sex (including the associated content warnings, but focused largely on the power dynamics rather than the sex itself), and political intrigue set in a secondary-world variant of Europe (with forays further afield). Tends to divide opinion: if it’s your thing it’s very much your thing, and if it’s not you’ll probably hate it.

Machineries of Empire (Ninefox Gambit, Raven Stratagem, Revenant Gun) - Yoon Ha Lee. In theory this is scifi rather than fantasy, but it’s heavily fantasy-leaning scifi, so it counts. Very definitely dark, to the point of reading like idfic in the best way possible. Every single content warning you could possibly think of probably applies at some point, in some way. It’s a lot, and I love every single weird, fucked-up thing it chooses to be. There are also some excellent characters spanning the full range of My Type, which, given usually I get one or maybe two of those in any given book/series, is a fucking treat. All kinds of pain, exploration of identity and agency, politics and game theory…something for everyone, is what I’m saying (though also very much not a series I’d recommend to everyone).

Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb (too many to list, but you can find a suggested reading order here). I tend to think of Robin Hobb’s books as not so much 'dark’ as 'heavy’, and it depends on which sub-series you’re reading, but I’m throwing them on this list because Robin Hobb is another one of those authors who doesn’t shy away from things. She doesn’t skim the surface of torturing her characters, or subjecting them to consequences, or allowing everything and its dragon mother to go to absolute shit; no, she doubles down and commits. Which sometimes is exactly what you want, as a reader, and sometimes means it’s time to take a break and go get a cup of tea. Her books definitely aren’t for everyone, but I love what she’s done with the world she builds, and the way it starts out feeling like Just Another Fantasy Setting until it’s too late, you’re invested now, and when the tables start turning there’s nothing you can do but hold on for the ride. Also, really fucking awesome dragons.

A Resurrection of Magic (Skin Hunger, Sacred Scars, incomplete) by Kathleen Duey. I hesitate to put this on the list because it’s an incomplete series and likely to stay that way, but it’s interesting and has a specific…flavour to its darkness that I very much enjoy. The story is told alternating between two narrators and timelines, one in which magic has been banned and largely erased from the world and one in which it has been brought back in a tightly controlled school where mere survival is a high mark of success.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley. Urban fantasy that is its own coffeeshop AU, in a way that is almost but not quite entirely unlike everything that description would evoke. Dark and arguably quite gritty, but with balancing moments of absolute beauty, an impressively rich urban-magic world, and a unique narrative voice. Leaves an astonishing number of loose ends and unanswered questions for a standalone novel; some love that and some hate it.

Vicious by V.E. Schwab. Friends-to-enemies with superpowers, written by an author who clearly loves villains and villainy and explorations thereof. Weirdly a little lighter in some ways than others on this list, but definitely enjoyable. Has a sequel (Vengeful) which I’ve yet to read. Her Darker Shade of Magic series is also worth a read; the plots are simple but the characters are interesting, and again there’s some loving attention paid to all the different variations of the darkness within.

Wind on Fire (The Wind Singer, Slaves of the Mastery, Firesong) - William Nicholson. This is another series that is ostensibly for younger readers (the first book is probably best described as 'children’s horror’), but one of those where you look back a decade or so later and think 'oh, okay, that was uh…darker than I realised at the time’. I should caveat that I haven’t re-read these books since first reading them around age 10 or 12, so take this recommendation with a grain of salt.

[ournewoverlords]

Rocketman is great, go see it!

I'm not the man they think I am at home Oh no no no I'm a rocket man Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Oh man, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie. I’m apathetic towards biopics and I barely know any Elton John songs outside the Disney ones (yes, I’m a heathen, my excuse is that I didn’t get to America until 1995 and some combination of Britney and N’Sync consumed my formative years) but I had a big doofus grin throughout this movie and discovered a lot more sympathy for a celebrity I had in the back of my head as “the eccentric old dude who seems nice enough but probably doesn’t have all his marbles?”. That’s not because the film glamorizes Elton John by any means - it literally starts out with him declaring he’s done a great many horrible things, and concludes with him sighing that he’s been a cunt since 1975 - but you see the man inside the glittery bird costume, broken but trying, and I think that makes it a success in my book.

It’s a “musical fantasy” - honestly, a straight-up musical - that hits some pretty familiar narrative beats: main character bursts into rehab in the opening, looking like he needs a shower, a shave, and a hug, and now we’ll learn how he got there. No surprises, but it’s a clever way of unspooling his character arc as the movie progresses, because we watch him start his account with flat-out lies - “my dad was great, always there for me” - and then as he keeps going, it starts pouring out of him and he can’t help but begin to confront the truth. One character arc, the literal arc, is about his downfall, but the other one - the one behind it - is about his healing. It’s not an “X happened, then Y happened” kinda biopic, the journey here is as much inward as temporal - this is Elton, coming back to face the words a musician early in his career told him: “You gotta kill the person you were born as in order to become the person you want to be.” But who is the person Elton wants to be? What if the person he wants to be is just... himself?

And who is that, anyways? What I love about the movie is how it’s interested in what’s behind all the glam, the glitter, the outrageous costumes and crazy heels and rock n’roll - but it’s not afraid of those things either. You don’t have to be one or the other, extrovert or introvert, dazzling showman or a shy kid who only ever wanted to play for himself. Because the man IS fucking fabulous, he clearly had big emotions and a big life, and what I love about this movie is how it’s not afraid to throw itself into that, the same way camp is a kind of defiance against both the people who take life too seriously, and the people who don’t take it seriously enough. It punctuates again and again that this whole thing is about the hole in Elton’s heart, the hole that one’s parents are supposed to fill, and how his outrageous talents both lift him out of there and then give him too many things to fill it with — luxury clothes, booze, sex, drugs, eating disorders, pushing away the only people who care for him as if self-hatred were its own addiction. It’s a bottomless pit, and the struggle Elton faces is whether there’s anything worth salvaging at the bottom of it. It doesn’t sound like a very heroic choice, but it is: choosing life.

Some notes I jotted down right after watching, spoilers under the cut:

There were some things I didn’t think worked as well, though it wasn’t that they were bad, just that I wish there was more there.  

For example, I thought that the final sequence where the characters from his past re-appear in this kind of cliched therapy sequence felt a bit too on-the-nose and forced, or at least clunky compared to the deftness of many of the earlier scenes. As a climax, it didn’t really land for me. This is part of my general wish that the story had more “meat” on it — i.e., a bit more prose and less verse — because it feels like it should be building up to this realization that Bernie was the one who truly loved him this whole time (not romantically I mean, but, in the more meaningful sense, properly). Because Bernie essentially becomes a peripheral character after their initial honeymoon — he’s always kinda in the background, but they drift apart over the years to underline Elton’s fall — so their relationship doesn’t have as much weight as it could’ve to me even though it is a thread that runs throughout the movie.

Don’t get me wrong — the scenes they have together are sublime, especially that “Your Song” scene, where the look Elton gives him really makes me wonder if Elton’s aborted kiss really was just a young man confusing his momentary giddiness for a crush. Jamie Bell gives this wonderfully gentle performance that keeps him as this North star in your mind, the one you want Elton to find home by. I just wanted more, especially in the latter half of the film, because I think the core of this film is about a love story, between Elton John and the things that save him: his best friend, and his love for music.

That’s my critique of the film in general, if I had to have one — despite running over two hours long, there’s some parts that feel oddly compressed or skimpy. John Reid, Richard Madden in an incredible performance as Elton’s frighteningly intense yet undeniably attractive business (and pleasure!) partner with the Hugo Boss suit and smoldering black eyes, goes from what girls want the dude in Fifty Shades to be to an abusive, cold-blooded asshole in the span of what feels like two scenes and ten minutes. It’s like one second, Elton’s star is rising and he’s flying high — and then in the next, he’s snorting coke, fighting with John, and drinking too much. It is heavily implied that: 1) getting famous was synonymous with doing drugs at the time, and because of Elton’s personality he couldn’t brake (but I still wish they made this subtext a bit more text) and 2) that behind this lurch downwards is his inability to be honest about his sexuality — John, of course, wants him to marry a beard “for the business” — but it’s strange that that’s not brought up earlier as a theme, when he was secretly getting kissed by the trumpeter and then happily trysting with John.

“Living a double life”, though, is a huge theme in another way: it’s the contrast between Elton’s happy, extravagant show life and Reginald Dwight, a lonely little boy trapped inside a miserable man trapped inside a mansion that provides so much of the pathos in the “adult” years of the film. None of the fame and fortune have brought him love, only adoration. If that’s a familiar thesis in biopics about famous people, it still works for me here because Taron Egerton’s performance is just SO GOOD. He gives it his all in every moment, not just the big singing and dancing ones. Behind all the little drug-induced twitches and grimaces of self-loathing (but also just the tiiiny bit of ego all great performers have), you can see the sweet kid who deserved better, who just wants to “go home”, if only he could find it.

I think the fundamental reason behind my “I wish there were more stuff” is the fact the movie structures itself after a musical, and for musicals the non-singing parts are more about how you get from one big singing part to the other. That’s a hard space for a biopic, especially one that gets into pretty serious territory and has years to cover; song and dance end up competing with time for character work. But the director does something I think is really clever, though, and that’s to use those musical sequences as part of the story — the moments flow into the song, and the song crystallizes the moment/theme/feeling in this natural way. They’re not an excuse to check off Elton John’s biggest hits, but rather fulfill a cinematic purpose in capturing an emotional rather than factual truth.

Not just the songs, but there are a number of these deft little scenes I really liked because they make the “point” in a single shot/cut/image, with very little dialogue. Some examples:

- The first time Elton and Bernie meet, Bernie mentions the country song Elton’s prospective manager had just disparaged and Elton kinda smirks, then in the next beat realizes that maybe that was kinda asshole, and he clumsily hums out the first verse, and Bernie perks up and follows with the next, and soon they’re both banging on the diner table and singing it together with huge grins. What’s especially great about this scene is that you can’t figure out if they’re doing this in “reality” and everyone thinks they’re crazy, or if this is one of those musical fantasy sequences. The point is that the distinction between them doesn’t matter, because that sequence is about the feeling of the moment, and at that moment they feel connected. Love at first sight.

- The scene where many years later Elton, now successful and dare-we-say perhaps even hopeful that his father might accept him now, finds the man with his new house and family — and after the expected awkward intro it seems to be going ok, his father’s invited him to come sit and chat inside. So there’s his father sitting on the couch… and then this pair of boys, his new sons, comes over and he just wraps his arm around them so easily, and your gut sinks instantly, before it even cuts to Elton, whose face has shattered all at once

- Nice studio girl, lifting her voice with his in his darkest moment -> cut to wedding -> cut to morning at the house, each opening their own door and greeting each other with an excruciating level of politeness. Says it all in three scenes.

- The levitation during his performance at The Troubadour. PERFECT. You can say “this and this happened”, “and then he gave an amazing performance”, but that’s not as powerful as showing the feeling Elton John must’ve felt during that performance: a lonely little boy turned struggling young man who felt, for just a moment, that he could fly.

- Another musical sequence - Elton’s suicide attempt, where they carry him onto the ambulance and he keeps batting away the oxygen mask to keep singing. It works on so many levels because he’s just a kid who wants to sing, he’s the star who was born to sing, but he’s also a man who doesn’t want to live.

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. New York: Picador USA, 1997.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction

Part of a Series? No.

Summary: Her name is Dinah. In the Bible, her life is only hinted at in a brief and violent detour within the more familiar chapters of the Book of Genesis that are about her father, Jacob, and his dozen sons. Told in Dinah's voice, this novel reveals the traditions and turmoils of ancient womanhood--the world of the red tent. It begins with the story of her mothers--Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah--the four wives of Jacob. They love Dinah and give her gifts that sustain her through a hard-working youth, a calling to midwifery, and a new home in a foreign land.

***Full review under the cut.***

Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, childbirth, miscarriage, abortion, references to bestiality, mild sexual content, rape

Overview: I remember this book making a big splash when it came out. At the time, I wasn’t allowed to read it, so it kind of slipped my mind until this year, when I bought a copy while I was used book shopping. I’m quite a sucker for women’s history and retellings of historical stories from women’s point of view, so I was excited to read this. While I can’t speak to the historical accuracy or Judaism of this book, I think I can speak to the craft of the novel. This book is important in the same way that Mists of Avalon is important - it makes room for women’s voices and stories, de-centering the male perspective on monumental narratives. However, I don’t think Diamant did enough to make Dinah’s story a true story of sisterhood, and the novel as a whole left me wanting more.

Writing: Diamant’s prose is pretty easy to read. There are some nice metaphors here and there, and vivid imagery, but overall, it’s not extremely lyrical or dense. As a result, the book is a little bit more accessible to readers who are either unfamiliar with the Biblical story or don’t know much about ancient history. I do think, however, that Diamant writes in a way that keeps Dinah at a distance from what’s happening to her. The novel is in first person, but I still ended up feeling like I was reading Dinah’s relation of events after the fact, when she had some distance on things. As a result, I didn’t quite feel any emotional suspense.

Plot: The Red Tent for the most part retells the story of Isaac’s son, Jacob, from the Bible, beginning with his arrival in Heran and betrothal to Laban’s daughters. The last third breaks from Biblical events and follows Dinah after the death of her first husband and she tries to rebuild her life in Egypt. For a good portion of the book (maybe 1/3-1/2), Dinah is either absent or merely relating events as a bystander; I didn’t get the sense that the story was her own until much later in the novel. Though Dinah tells readers in the prologue that part of her purpose is to relate her mothers’ stories and pass down information about the women in her family, I do wish more was done to center Dinah’s voice and experiences. Since family is so central to the book, this could have been achieved through more meaningful interactions between Dinah and her mothers. Dinah’s voice does come through during the events of her “rape” and subsequent life in Egypt. These parts of the book, for me, were a little more engaging, as they retold a story which originally is centered on male violence. I will say, though, that I think Dinah fell in love with her husbands too quickly. She seems to be in love with them after meeting them only once or twice, so the air of “insta-love” abounded. But overall, I thought that the pacing of the book was a little uneven. There are large stretches of time where it seems like we are just being walked through daily life of Jacob and his family, or through Dinah’s loneliness in Egypt, and while these moments are valuable for getting a sense of what life was like in the ancient world, I think these descriptions could have been combined with more character work - have some interactions, for example, between Dinah and the people around her that generate stronger emotional attachments. There are some small interactions scattered throughout the book, but I didn’t quite feel they were given the weight they needed.

Characters: Dinah, our POV character, admittedly doesn’t seem to have much personality; even though the book is told in first person, Dinah seems to just be relating events. I didn’t get much of a sense of her as a person, even when she started talking about her own life. I mostly got the sense that she was a bystander until her first husband was killed, and then, she was mostly unhappy. Even when she found happiness in her second husband, she seemed to be anxious a lot. I found myself wishing that Dinah could have a little more joy in her life. The women were distinct in ways I found compelling. Leah was hard-working and skilled at a lot of things, and was in charge of running everything in the domestic sphere; Rachel devoted herself to midwifery when she realized she was infertile, which made her more mature in an interesting way; Bilhah had a way of seeing things that made her connect with people emotionally; and Zilpah was only interested in her deities and refused to bear children after her first time, which honestly was great. I also really liked Meryt, Dinah’s fellow midwife in Egypt, since she refused to let Dinah disappear in her depression. The male characters overall felt underdeveloped, which honestly would have been fine if they hadn’t been constantly interrupting the women’s stories so much. Since women are often underdeveloped in stories about men, flipping the script would have been great, but Jacob is pretty central to the plot, as are a few of Dinah’s brothers and her grandfather. Speaking of whom, Laban was awful. He had no redeeming qualities, which made him feel less like a character and more like a villainous archetype.

Other Feminism: While I don’t think this book explicitly claims to be a feminist retelling of a Biblical story, there is something inherently feminist about centering women’s stories and voices. That aspect of the book was valuable, though I do wish more was done to enhance the sense that this was a story about women who are marginalized in the original text, and I wish that more was done to strengthen the bonds between women rather than drive them apart. For example, Leah and Rachel are in conflict a lot over Jacob, which got kind of annoying. I understand that patriarchy structured a lot of ancient life, but so much of the story was about the women’s feelings for Jacob and bearing sons and making him happy, rather than taking refuge in each other. There was some, but I wanted more. There was also conflict between Dinah and Re-nefer over “custody” of Dinah’s son, and Re-nefer essentially takes over as mother just because she can. I wish the two had bonded more, rather than have their relationship look more like a master and servant. However, I did like that this book wasn’t afraid to talk about things like menstruation, childbirth, miscarriage, and infertility. When this novel first came out in the 90s, I think a lot of those things generated some controversy. They’re still controversial, to an extent, so I liked that they were discussed so openly. However, despite all that, I didn’t get the sense that there was much of a strong bond between Dinah and the women she helped deliver. They largely go unnamed or are small stories to fill space. I wanted a lot more emotional connection to Dinah’s work as a midwife. I also really didn’t like how the story treated Ruti, Laban’s concubine. Laban abuses her physically, emotionally, and sexually, while her children mistreat her and the other women keep their distance. There were moments when the other women were kind to her, but overall, I wish more was done to show how women could be supports to one another when a husband treated them badly. Religion: Despite this book being a retelling of an Old Testament story, the “God of Abraham and Isaac” is not the only god in the story. The wives worship various other gods, which to some may feel like a haphazard insertion of “mother goddess” paganism, but to me, it felt like an acknowledgement of the religious plurality of the time. I recently learned of the many different competing religions of the ancient world, and how Yahweh and El were perceived as different entities for a time. It seems refreshing, then, that this book do something by way of showing how religion wasn’t centralized or unified across populations.

Recommendations: I would recommend this novel if you’re interested in the Old Testament, the story of Jacob, women’s history, retellings of patriarchal stories, and midwifery.

[otome0heart]

Hi! ^^ I'm glad to find another Mitsuhide fan! Since you're open to requests, I'd like to ask for some fluff/romance with the prompt "poetry". I don't mind it being in the Sengoku Period or an AU, whatever you prefer. Thank you! ♡ And Happy Birthday!

Hello Anon! (灬ºωº灬) Thanks to you for requesting something! And for your good wishes!

As you asked, here’s some Mitsuhide and poetry. It’s set in a Modern AU (I told you I was dangerous regarding that XDDD). I sincerely hope that you like it *^^*

Title: The Poetry of Love

Characters: Mitsuhide/MC

Words: 3720 (no, I don’t know how to write short stories ^^U)

Notes: There’s actual poetry scattered in the story, three poems, to be precise.

1. Kobayashi Issa, 1763 - 1827

2. Ono no Komachi, 825 - 900

3. Kitahara Hakushu, 1885 - 1942

Also, there’s a modified quote from the film “Sense and Sensibility” (1996) marked with an *

Tagging @han-pan and @otonymous, great Mitsuhide fans, like me ✿

THE POETRY OF LOVE

As part of his every day routine, Akechi Mitsuhide walked along the tall bookcases that filled the little library he worked in, his fingers sometimes brushing the spine of one of his favourite books, his eyes warming when they fell on a title which brought back memories of childhood laughter or sleepless nights under the covers, devouring pages until the hero triumphed at the end, and his heartbeat calmed down as excitement gave way to a satisfactory feeling.

He stepped out of the prose fiction narrative side, crossed the room, passing by his desk, near the main entrance, and entered the poetry section. Despite being a fan of action and historical stories, filled with samurai devoted to their code of honour, what had truly enchanted his heart, and what had made him who he was in the present, was poetry. He had loved learning by heart the little poems his teachers had taught during his lessons in kindergarten and the first years of primary school, and he remembered himself reciting them once and again as he bounced up and down the stairs of his family house, or running around in her grandmother’s traditional garden. Those were about animals and plants, and a smile found its way across his lips as they recited one in a murmur.

Splish, splash (Neko arau)

The cat washes (Zabu zabu kawa ya)      

Spring rain (Haru no ame)

That had been one of the reasons why he had studied Japanese Literature at university and why he had decided to be a librarian. He hoped that somebody else could discover how fun literature could be.

However, when he had arrived at that library, located in a little town in the center of Japan, he had discovered that his work would not probably be as enjoyable as his young self had thought it would be. It was in an old building in need of many repairs, it was disorganised and only old people and young students in need visited it. With great effort, and applying for funds to the different governments, he had renewed the furniture, sorted out the books in sections and started having small events that little by little, had attracted more people, especially children.

He sat down on the floor in an almost hidden corner at the end of the corridor where the oldest books were. It was the place he loved the most in that old building. There, he had found his solace when sometimes his efforts had not been rewarded, especially at the beginning. In those times, after closing, he prepared himself some tea in the back room and brought a cup there, picking up a random book on his way, spending hours in silence until his body started to give in to the tiredness of the day, his soul at peace and ready to face the following day with new strength.

His fingertips brushed the back of the bookcase on his left and he extracted a volume from it. It was bound in the traditional way and, opposite to the rest, it belonged to him. Opening it, he leafed through it, glancing over the numerous notes he had written across the pages until he found an envelope between them. It was a bit discoloured and rumpled after all the times he had taken the letter out and read it, but it was the most treasured thing he possessed in this world. He opened it and his eyes fell on the words that he already knew by heart.

Thinking about you, (Omoi tsutsu)

I slept and saw you (Nu re baya hito no)

In the dream. (Mie zu ram)

If I had known it’d have been dream, (Yume to shiri seba)

I wouldn’t have woken up. (Same zara mashi wo)

He read it a second time and then, put the paper back in the envelope, and this, inside the book, not wanting to risk anybody knowing that he had given his heart a long time ago to someone he was not allowed to love. He had met her a few weeks after he had arrived in the town. She was an almost seventeen-year-old high school student who had arrived there in search of a book for a project and, he could not help a smile as he closed his eyes and leant back his head on the wall, he had never seen someone so lost before. It had been so obvious that it was the first time she had stepped in that place and he had helped her as much as he had been able to in her research. She was the oldest child of the owner of a traditional restaurant he had passed a few times on his way to and back from the library but with so much work ahead of him, he had not had time to go up to that moment. Days later, she had returned with a bento for him, filled with delicacies that he had discovered she had cooked herself, as a token of gratitude, and he had taken a break to enjoy a delicious meal for the first time since he had arrived.

However, contrary to this first impression, during their conversation at lunch she proved to be intelligent, curious and with a deep thirst for knowledge. From then on, they had enjoyed little conversations about literature, animals and many other topics over tea whenever she had free time and there were no people there and sometimes, she had helped him set some of the events.

He had been really surprised when months later, on Valentine’s Day, she had given him some chocolates and a love letter. Her cheeks had been red as roses in full bloom and her shy smile beautiful and enchanting. And it had been at that precise moment that he had realised how deep in love he was with her. However, not even opening the message, and as gently as he could, he had rejected her. She was still a child and there was a whole world of wonders and experiences waiting for her. He would not be the one to steal that from her and taint her innocence. She had just nodded, trying to contain her tears and had told him with a trembling voice to keep the chocolates, since she had made them only for him.

With a heavy heart but being convinced that he had done the correct thing, he had resigned himself to having lost a true friend and a kindred soul. However, he had been extremely surprised when, a few days later, she had visited the library again. Her eyes were slightly red and puffy, and her smile a bit hesitant, but as she had told him, he was very important to her and she wanted to have him in her life even if they could not become something more.

Mitsuhide smiled. She was a truly admirable woman and he was glad that they could continue enjoying each other’s company up to the present.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Her voice reached his ears and he smiled softly as he opened his eyes and looked at her. Five years had already passed since that fateful Valentine’s Day, and he had seen her graduate, study to be a cook and start working in her parents’ traditional restaurant, which she would run next to her brother when they retired. He still loved her, dearly, deeply. Her smile brought sunshine to the deepest and darkest corners of his soul and every time her pupils shone with excitement or concern, or sadness, he felt those emotions echoing inside him too.

“You always know” he watched her walk to him. “How’s your stay in Tokyo been?”

“Really good. I learnt a lot these three weeks during the cooking course and also, I met very important chefs.”

“I’m glad.”

She sat down opposite him, her eyes twinkling with a mischievous spark.

“How about you? Already feeling depressed for being a year older?”

His smile broadened at her playful teasing and he lifted a brow.

“And who’s the one who prefers the company of this old sulking man?”

She giggled softly.

“Well, it’s not so bad to have birthdays… You get presents, secret pa-”

She interrupted herself, her hand flying to her mouth and Mitsuhide’s eyes opened with slight terror.

“Please, tell me that you didn’t…”

She shook her head, her hand still covering half of her face.

“I know how much you dislike big gatherings. It was Nobunaga’s idea and, even though we tried to persuade him, once he sets his mind on something, it’s impossible to make him change his mind.”

He sighed, nodding absently. He had met the entrepreneur when he had established himself there the year before. It was really strange for an important person to settle down in such a place, so he had been the talk of the town for quite a few weeks. But, as the man had told him later, he needed a change of scene and since he mostly worked from home, it did not matter where he was. They had become acquaintances and then, friends quickly. Since Nobunaga liked to meddle in other people’s affairs, as soon as he had known about the financial troubles the librarian was having, he had invested money, first to make some expensive repairs the old building needed and later, when the funds from the prefecture government he was expecting were denied. Every time, he had said that it was a good investment to pay less taxes, but Mitsuhide knew that, behind that cheeky arrogant character of his laid a generous heart and a true friend.

“But please, look surprised when you arrive at the restaurant tonight. He’ll have my head if he suspects I told you…”

“Don’t worry” he assured her with a small smile. “I’ll be speechless for sure. Who knows what he’s planning…”

She laughed and he marvelled, once again, at the sound, clear like bells ringing.

“And, what are you doing here? It’s really early…”

A barely imperceptible change in her features, something that for others would have passed unnoticed but not for someone who knew her so well as him, sparked his curiosity, but also his concern .

“Nothing, really. I just-” she put her hand in the pocket of the denim jacket she wore. “I just wanted to wish you a happy day and give you your present before anyone else.”

Mitsuhide rolled his eyes with a wry smile.

“Oh, gods, how many more plans do you know about?”

“I lost count” she looked at him with a smug smile but a moment later, she became serious. “You’re a very appreciated man here, Mitsuhide.”

“I just love my job and these old books” his fingers trailed down the side of the bookcase next to him, looking around fondly. “And I’d like everybody to enjoy them and feel the joy they can bring, even just a little.”

“And they love you for it” a soft smile had drawn across her mouth as a lovely blush coloured her face, and his heart skipped a beat.

However, she seemed to caught herself and she turned her head away from him, as if she were afraid of having revealed something, fidgeting for a moment with the things she had taken out of her pocket before putting them on the floor, in front of him.

“Happy birthday” she said putting her hands on her lap and bowing slightly.

A small box and an envelope. Mitsuhide felt his throat dry, remembering a similar day, five years before. She had given him other presents, big wooden boxes which contained tea cups, or rectangular parcels wrapped in colourful papers that hid books that he kept in a special shelf at home, but never again a letter and a small box.

She stood up.

“I’ll have a look at a couple of shelves down the corridor before going home” she hesitated for a moment. “Open them whenever you want and… I’d be grateful if you read it this time, please.”

She disappeared from his sight as she turned around one of the bookcases and his gaze fell on the gifts with a feeling of apprehension. It was as if fate was mocking him and he was condemned to repeat that moment again. He did not want to hurt her.

However, a voice whispered at the back of his mind, she was not a child anymore. She was now a fully grown woman who did not need anyone else to protect her anymore. He did not have to think of what was best for her because she was the one who made the decisions about her own life now.

He realised with a slight startle that his hand was reaching out for the box and he stopped himself. What would he do if it was what he thought? He had spent so much time loving her and at the same time, repressing his feelings that he was afraid of the chance of them being returned with no obstacles between them, of setting free the fire inside him and consume her because deep inside the kind, level-headed librarian, there was a shadow of possessiveness and passion that sometimes, he could barely control.

But also, it could be something else. Maybe it was just an innocent card wishing him Happy Birthday, or some Tokyo-related postcard that she had thought he might like.

Whatever it was, she had asked him to read it and, as her friend and a man true to his word, he would do it. Breathing deeply, he took the box and opened it.

Inside, there was a beautiful leather double-wrap bracelet with a silver bellflower, his favourite, on top. He admired the work for a moment and then, put it on his right wrist. It was perfect, simple, elegant and yet, modern.

Leaving the box aside, he picked up the envelope. It was made of thick blue paper and his name was on the front with small characters, slightly round and carefully written. Inhaling once more, he opened it and took a folded paper of the same colour from inside. Her calligraphy was delicate and clean, and immediately told him how much time she had spent on it.

‘Dear Mitsuhide,

I think I can imagine what you’re experiencing as you start reading this. It seems like we went back five years ago, on a rainy Valentines Day that has never faded from my memories. To tell you the truth, I feel really stupid doing this but I won’t be at peace with myself unless I try one more time. As you said, I was a child then and, such as one, I got impatient and I let my feelings for you overflow. I know I hurt you and that I risked our beautiful bond. After my confession and our conversation, I considered myself really fortunate because you overlooked that mistake and kept on behaving the same, without feeling uncomfortable or trying to put some distance between us. If you felt otherwise, you fooled me completely.

This time, I’m talking as the woman I’ve become. Looking back with the maturity these years gave me, I can say that I truly feel thankful because you rejected me that day. You gave me the best present I’ve ever received: the wings to fly, the space to grow and enjoy that world of wonders and experiences, as you called it, and the precious treasure of your company and friendship.

However, I need to say that my love not only did not fade away but grew stronger and that my heart was, is and always will be yours.* I don’t have any expectations but sometimes, there’s been something in your eyes, in the way you look and smile at me, that never let the tiny hope still left inside of me die.

So now you know, but I’m not going to pressure you for an answer. I can wait. I only ask of you to see me for who I am now and think about it carefully. And in the case that you reject me a second time, I won’t bring up the topic ever again. I don’t want to hurt you or our friendship anymore. I cherish your presence in my life more than anything in the world.

Your faithful friend.’

Mitsuhide swallowed hard, re-reading the last lines again, before scrambling to his feet and starting to look for her among the bookcases. He did not need to think of anything. He already knew the answer. That their feelings had not vanished in five years had to mean that, as foolish as it sounded, the red thread of destiny existed and his tied him to her inevitably. He loved her and for once, he was going to follow his heart and not his logic, to be selfish and grab the bliss that awaited him, to devote himself to her until his last breath and make her happy every single day of their lives.

The library had never seemed so big as that time, desperate as he was when he could not find her. Thinking that she might have already headed home, he turned on his heels to exit the back door to catch her before she reached her house and suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a glimpse of purple, the same colour of the skirt she was wearing.

He stopped in his tracks to drink in the sight of her. She had an open book in her hands, but her absent expression and that her eyes were a bit misty told him that her mind was far away from there, probably the reason why she had not noticed him standing there, a few meters from her.

He took the first step, his fingers gripping tightly the letter still in his hand and suddenly, she lifted her head, clearly shaken, his widened eyes falling on him. All colour drew from her face and her lips parted slightly. silently, he reached and took her into the circle of his arms, burying his face in her hair. She stiffened for a moment just before returning his embrace with as much strength as him, a strangled sob leaving her throat upon hearing his words in her ear, only for her.

A Hyacinth, (Hiyashinsu)

The pale purple colored (Usumurasaki ni)

Flower bloomed. (Saki ni keri)

It was the first day (Hajimete kokoro)

She shook my heart. (Furuisome shi hi)

“Shhh, don’t cry, my darling…” he cooed softly, cradling her head into the curve of his neck. “I’m so sorry for having made you wait for so long… I thought I was the mature one but it’s obvious that it was me who wasn’t ready…”

She shook her head.

“You’re always so warm-hearted to everybody… I believed I was mistaking your kindness for something else when I tried to read your feelings…” she took a ragged breath. “I was so afraid, I thought you’d be so disappointed with me after leaving the matter behind five years ago…”

“I was happy just seeing you smile… I was ready to give you up and support you when you chose a good man, since I refused to have any hopes after that day… You were so young, I thought that you’d forget about your affection as time passed by…” he made a pause, tightening his hold on her, enjoying her warmth. “And now, finally…”

She nodded and laughed, and he felt like he was soaring the sky.

“Don’t tell me I’ll have to cancel the party tonight.”

Both were startled by the brisk comment which came from the hall where the front desk was. There, a man wearing jeans, a grey shirt and a red jacket was looking at them with a slightly annoyed expression, though his pupils sparked with clear amusement. The couple let go of each other blushing profusely in clear embarrassment at having been caught.

“Now, don’t be such prudes” he said putting his hand in his waist. “I thought you were an item when I arrived here and met you both. It was so obvious to everybody except you two” he glanced at Mitsuhide. “I was tempted to give you a push, a big one, but I decided not to do your own damn job. Took you long enough.”

The librarian looked at him a bit confused for a moment, but them smiled.

“Thank you.”

Nobunaga seemed a bit uncomfortable for a moment.

“Well, since you’re busy and I have a meeting in an hour, let’s drop the matter of the new computers for another day. I’ll see you two tonight. Don’t be late or I’ll give you a truly unpleasant surprise you’ll never forget.”

They nodded, knowing very well that he would surely do it if they dared to disobey him. Nobunaga turned around and took a step, but then, he stopped, looked over his shoulder and smiled softly, something that they had rarely seen.

“Happy birthday, Mitsuhide. You deserve it.”

And then, he walked to the door with quick steps.

They smiled at each other, amused expressions on their faces.

“He’s like a whirlwind…”

“Yes” he agreed with a fond expression on his face.

Looking into her eyes, and forgetting about their interruption at once, he lifted his hand and caressed her face tenderly, brushing away any traces left of her tears. She bit her lip and half closed her eyes.

“Sorry I stained your shirt…”

“Don’t worry about that” his fingers stilled, cupping her cheek, and he searched her eyes for the slightest spark of doubt.

At that moment, a dull sound reached their ears and, though it was probably a book which had fallen from its upright position, he did not want to risk being caught again. He took her hand and brought her behind the bookcases. Taking her again in his arms, he leaned forward slowly, brushing his lips across her forehead, her temple and her cheek. Her lids fluttered closed immediately and, after making sure they were away from possible inopportune visits and prying eyes, he closed the distance between them. He did not want any witnesses of their first kiss.

THE END

[streetlamphalo]

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone

Rating: ★★★★★

Many thanks to Quercus Books, Jo Fletcher Books and NetGalley for the copy of this book.

How do you begin to describe something like This Is How You Lose the Time War? From the synopsis, you might think that this novella is just another one in a recent stream of works focusing on time travel. You might think it quirky and unusual, but nothing more beyond that. You would be, without a doubt, sorely mistaken. Because what This Is How You Lose the Time War is not just a story about time travel and futuristic war; it is also a story about two protagonists engaged in a game of cat and mouse; it is a story told through lyrical writing you very rarely see in fantasy these days; and most importantly of all, it is a love story through letters across a battlefield and a war seemingly without end. 

Red, an agent of the Commandant, finds a note on a battlefield that simply reads: Burn before reading. So begins a tale of love across the many strands of time, in which she must, to all intents and purposes, defeat Blue, while carrying on their illicit correspondence. Except... this can’t go on forever, can it? After all, in a war, someone has to win it, right? 

What This Is How You Lose the Time War does better than pretty much any other book I’ve read this year, is transport you into a world that is almost like ours but not quite. There are historical references here, sure, but they are fragmented and they ultimately carry little weight. What truly matters is the love story between Blue and Red and how El-Mohtar and Gladstone tackle it is through breathtaking language, almost like poetry in its approach. It does not make for an easy read and despite being a novella (though I feel 200 pages is about the same as what I would expect from an older fantasy novel), it still manages to feel meaty, its metaphors beautifully woven together in a tapestry of language that never failed to captivate me. It is also the kind of book that benefits from re-reads, because initially I spent a lot of time trying to discern the plot (and for all its simplicity, there is real depth here, particularly once events escalate in the third act) and perhaps not enough time really enjoying the prose. 

Blue and Red have such distinctive voices and I really enjoyed the way the authors tackled the conflict between them, the way the Agency and the Commandant pushed for technical supremacy and how the Garden was very much a biopunk utopia (or was it?). There is a constant tug between them, trying to convince each other of the supremacy of their cause (or so it seems), until the feelings develop and are revealed. It feels, at times, like a fairytale, like a love story told in hushed whispers, but the intensity of it seemed to leap off the page. I would find myself reading and re-reading entire paragraphs, savouring the feel of them in my head and revelling in the beauty of the scenery, the games that Red and Blue played with each other, the feelings that their letters could evoke. Epistolary styles aren’t particularly prominent in fantasy and it is easy to see why: there is a lot of scope for them to sound forced, stilted, for the narrative to end up serving the delivery method. Not so for This Is How You Lose the Time War. Instead, the letters become more personal, less boastful, more underpinned by genuine human emotion. By the end, I was invested in their story, I wanted them to succeed. 

This Is How You Lose the Time War is my first exposure to both Max Gladstone’s and Amal El-Mohtar’s writing and it is perhaps the best way to see it in action. This novella is a genuine tour de force from a pair of writers at the top of their games. I would recommend it to fans of time travel, of sapphic literature, of epistolary novels, of romance novels, but also to people looking for a book that doesn’t shy away from any attempts at being a ‘difficult’ read. 

[cerealla]

12, 13, 23, 33, 34!

12: Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

Oooooh so many. Some of them merely exist to scratch some itch and then I forget about it, or I save it ‘til I finish it and then never do because I don’t know what to do with it. There’s a lot of angsty, gory, nsfw stuff I have saved and never plan to publish because it was written for experimental indulgence and nothing more. Then there’s the long running, novel-length narratives that are still being work-shopped, but the first couple chapters are done and could be their own one-shots. There’s like a Wally and Becky fic I’ve got that I almost want to rework into an original piece, then a mama-coop diary thing where it goes through her life from adolescence to mother-hood, a road-trip fic where Coop and Laura get lost in the Congaree, the Laura 1944 fic, an Evil Dead thing, etc.

13: What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today? 

My prose and imagery, I’d say. My first fic for Twin Peaks, which was the first fic I wrote since my early attempts for other fandoms in middle school, is overly surreal to the point of incomprehensibility and there is a lot of passive voice. Some sentences take too many words just to say one simple thing. Since then I have prioritized sort of a Hemingway philosophy of writing: unless the situation calls for it, clarity and brevity is key. I used to think that dragging out actions in writing would equate to the time they take to carry out in the story (like if I write a loooot of words for a character walking slowly down the hall, the reader will experience the slowness too). And in some ways that can be true, but when I re-read my stuff, it stops being suspenseful and just gets annoying. I’m also getting to be less afraid of sometimes just outright saying what a characters is thinking or feeling instead of choosing really specific details and hoping the reader gets the idea. Like, sometimes you’re allowed to say “Jessica hated oranges,” instead of writing four paragraphs on the many unpleasant faces and noises Jessica makes while eating an orange.

23: What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Everyone in this little TP community always leaves the sweetest comments! One of my favorites is the one you left on The Good Doctor where you went in depth about comparing Jacoby to Waldo Lydecker. All of the reviews on Tea Party make my heart flutter, and there is this one I got on a Bobby fic that I did for Yuletide that seriously put me at ease ‘cause I wasn’t sure how the recipient would react.

33: Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

Honestly, a lot of the time I end up cutting scenes down in order to stay on topic and trim the fat, whatever that may be in each case. Tea Party was gonna be longer with Laura eating different foods that each represented some aspect of her life, one of which was a blackberry muffin that had a fortune inside of it with directions on it (like what Eileen made in the FWWM deleted scene), but I thought “just the Tea is fine.” Cookies and Muffins would have had a spin-the-bottle game and the girls riding around in Shelly’s car. Three Little Words had a final section with Cooper in the red room (the full original summary was “5 times a man told Laura they loved her and 1 time they didn’t,” then it went back down to 5)

34: Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

A Kill Bill fic I wrote got a lot more kudos and hits than I would have ever thought. I’m also kinda surprised about Campfire story’s reception, mostly because I didn’t think many people would be that interested in Becky.

[bookandcover]

Cloud Atlas. This book was quite a process for me to read. I ended up drawing this book out over about six months, interspersing it with other reading. It was a hard book to read quickly because of its structure-- a series of fragments move first forward in time and then backwards in time, and the second half of the novel completes the stories that were begun in the first half. This structure contributed to the novel being easy to put down and walk away from for a while. As I’d start a new story, I knew that I wasn’t going to get the resolution to this story for a while. This is a fairly long book at 500+ pages, but that normally isn’t daunting to me at all. However, in this case, the intertwined narratives with many characters, as well as the long amount of time I spent reading the book, meant that as I was reading the second half and returning to each established narrative, I struggled to remember what had happened and the complex situations that had been built up earlier in the novel. That meant I needed to do some re-reading each time I returned to the book. It’s not a great book to read over six months time. But it is a book that is also hard to sit down and plow through quickly. But, by the time I reached the poignant ending, it was worth it. 

SPOILERS AHEAD.

While reading most of the novel, I struggled with my feeling that the structure was simply clever rather than “emotionally impactful” or important to the story itself. If the plot structure and many genres and writing styles that are dexterously navigated is the ONLY POINT...than this novel would be reduced to an exercise, reminiscent of an indulgent piece by an MFA student. Luckily, late in the book, I feel this novel’s structure was self-justified--and perhaps all the more powerfully because of my cynical assumption that it existed mostly “for show.” The last ~80 pages were very moving and I cried heavily through the last page and a half. Only late in the book did I feel like I truly understood what was happening and what was linking together these six different narratives. Of course, I’d continued guessing about the link and making a lot of assumptions, which, I think, were less interesting and impactful than the way in which the novel ultimately ended and what I understood to be the real connection among the six narratives. Ultimately I thought this book was very powerful and unexpected, but it felt like I had to fight through a lot to reach that conclusion. Which, perhaps, is part of the point; this ending would not have been as powerful if it hadn’t been delayed so long. The link is not a simple one, so it doesn’t get spelled out on page 250. 

There were several minor points of connection among the six narratives and, as I read, I kept reflecting on these, assuming that they would explicitly connect at the end of the novel. For example, each narrative reappears in the following narrative (in chronological time) as the character in the next narrative somehow has access to the “text” of the previous character’s tory. Another through line is the presence of the birthmark that looks like a comet on the bodies of some of the central characters. It would be easy to feel that the structure of the book was "trite” if the only point was that these characters were reincarnations of each other (unless, of course, you believe strongly in reincarnation...although I think this “answer” would still be troubling and flat. Why use a novel, with entirely fictional stories, to try to claim that reincarnation exists?) 

In retrospect, I felt like the presence of the birthmark and the circumstantial way in which the narrative of each character was passed on in the narrative of the next character were both employed by the author as intentional red herrings. These threads of connection distract us from the main point of the novel, the real thing these characters and their lives had in common. Only while reading the last page and a half did I fully realize that each one of these characters fought and struggled with an end goal in mind, with a cause. And that cause was truth. Freedom. They believed in a better world for themselves and for others. It was quite powerful that the connection among these characters and among their narratives wasn’t something tangible like reincarnation or the fact that they had found and read each other’s stories. It was instead something intangible and, therefore, more powerful as a similarity. A resemblance in characteristics and mindsets was explored in six characters for the purpose of this novel, but the same resemblance truly exists in so many people in history and in our world today--this desperate need to fight for a better world. And, as the final pages articulate, this arises from a true belief that a better world is possible for humanity. This is, ultimately, an incredibly powerful resolution to these six narratives. Our human minds look for connection. And when I thought the connection among these narratives would be something easily explained, some kind of clever trick or narrative plot structure, I didn’t find that very satisfying. I felt like I was being asked to read all these different interlinking novel narratives--and for what purpose? Any one of these six narratives would’ve been a good story on its own, but we weren’t given the opportunity to fully enjoy any one story. Right as I grew to care about the characters and I wanted their story to go on, it was interrupted. For some of the characters--most notably Robert Frobisher--I was skeptical about them in the first half of the novel. Only in the second half of the book, as I saw the second half of each character’s story, did I feel like I fully understood them.  It was when I started to care about Robert Frobisher, who I’d disliked in the first half, that I started to realize what this book was actually about. It’s very funny, in retrospect, that I didn’t notice the connection sooner. I caught myself saying aloud, during Sonmi-451′s section, “I wish I could read a whole book on this character and topic! I like this character so much. I like her story so much.” It’s interesting that hers is the first story to repeat in the second half of the book and I grew increasingly attached to her as this happened. Robert Frobisher, on the other hand, was the character who I had liked the least during the first half. He comes off as “a player,” as a man living to serve his own needs. In the second half of his story, we see him grow so much as a character and his passion was admirable to me. He lives his life so differently than I live mine, I realized. I think sometimes I’m too rational. There was something in his lifestyle and his choices that was deeply genuine...his ability to give himself over entirely to his art, to deeply love the things he cared about. The letter he writes about falling in love with Eva was one of the most moving sections of the book for me. And his statement in his final letter to Rufus Sixsmith that they both knew, in their hearts, who he really loved made me gasp out loud. 

As I was moved by this man’s story, I started to see, even though it wasn’t conscious yet, what was actually happening in this book. It’s amazing how my realization happened retroactively at the end of the novel--I had to think back over each story and reevaluate my understanding of everything. I saw how I’d become much more attached to Louisa Rey during the second half of her story, how her commitment to the truth was so admirable, while her ability to survive each crazy sequence of near death situations showed how much faith she had in her truth. Not all of the characters professed a Christian faith, but there was, at the heart of this book, a deep religious conviction, a commitment to the power of belief. I know I read this book with a religious lens, because of my own faith, but it is indisputable that those who fought with belief (in truth, in love, in a better world) did make a better world overall. The story isn’t over when each character’s story ends. There is still “the fallen world” that moves on, that persists. Empires rise and fall and this is shown so well by the way we move past our own time into the lives of Sonmi-451 and Zachry. During their lives, our current world has fallen apart and remade itself, and fallen apart and remade itself. Even in those distant futures, which are still full of all the same kinds of suffering and betrayal as our human world today, there are still people with faith. Faith is something so timeless, so pervasive, so ever-present, that it’s like the clouds. These characters in their distant futures are deeply admirable because of their faith. 

You don’t need to read this book through a lens of faith, but I think if you read this book even without any religious spiritual convictions you would see the way in which these characters are connected through their beliefs, rather than through something finite and easily digestible. It didn’t matter whether these characters were somehow the same character reborn over time. It didn’t matter if the way in which they found each other‘s writing was fate or some kind of random chance. Because this book suggests there are many more stories like this--there are many drops in the ocean, many people striving for a better world. Just because we got to hear this particular set of stories doesn’t make them unique. And I think that idea is one of the most powerful aspects of this novel. 

I’ve been waxing poetic about the ultimate point of this book, which is, of course, powerful. In addition, the novel is masterfully written and probably one of the things that garners attention more often than the themes I’ve been talking about is David Mitchell’s great prose. He moves us through many genres and writing styles seamlessly. I did find it a little bit frustrating as the voices of his characters were so distinct; Zachry’s section was almost difficult to read until I got used to the style of the language. I would have to adjust myself to the voices of each of the characters and then adjust back when the narratives switched. This jarring genre-hopping was, as I mentioned, frustrating to me fairly often, especially when I was ready to stick with a character or plot line. But, ultimately, the adjustments and the variety all fit into the larger thematic point of the book. 

It’s certainly rare that I feel the ending of a book makes me thoroughly re-examine my experience of reading the rest of the novel. But that happened for Cloud Atlas. 

[cococrazies]

Lovestruck Series Review: Starship Promise (Season 1)

Personal playing order: Orion - Jaxon - Antares - Nova - Atlas

Warning! Minor spoilers ahead for Antares’s/Nova’s/Atlas’s routes, as well as CGs under the cut.

Orion: I’m torn on this one. I really enjoyed the story -- a lot more than I thought I would, given my lack of enthusiasm for the series concept -- and Orion himself. (If anyone ever wanted Shang from Mulan but in outer space, this is it.) The writing also had a very natural cadence and flow; it pulled me in easily, never getting too heavy-handed with sudden plot twists and cliffhangers... except for one instance, but more on that below.

And the MC! She was a pleasant surprise. I hadn’t been too impressed by her in the first-ep sneak peeks we get in each route, but she’s really cute -- she can be a bit of a space cadet at times (sorry, bad pun intended), but she isn’t dumb. Furthermore, she really develops over the course of the route, which is impressive given everything else stuffed into these mere 12 episodes.

So now to the things I didn’t like about this route: for one, the romantic development. It seemed really sudden and almost shoehorned-in as a result of the route length, which was jarring given how well-paced everything else had been up to that point. 

Also, the Antares plot twist; it felt cliché and gimmicky, especially since I could see it coming from a mile away. I think I would’ve preferred for it to be a Season 2 reveal, or at least presented to us right from the start -- as it was, it just seemed like it was there for the “shock factor” + to forcibly give us a reason to care about the antagonist if we didn’t already. But since this was a pilot season, I guess I can understand how they wanted to tease at an intriguing backstory as early as possible to get players invested.

Overall, they still did succeed with the latter, because now I’m pretty curious about where they’re going with this. And also because I need more Orion/MC in my life; rushed or not, those two are simply way too cute.

Jaxon: Whoa, this story was jam-packed with action scenes and chemistry between the OTP. The pace is hella fast, but you never get the sense that we’re skipping past important details; the writing makes the most of every episode it has got. Not a single scene is wasted or filler-like.

Jaxon himself is a bit of a harder sell. His gargantuan ego, jokester personality, and YOLO take on everything make him one of those characters that you either love or hate -- although for me, he fell somewhere near the middle of the spectrum. I like his concept and find him a refreshing addition to Lovestruck’s character lineup, but he’s not really my type as far as romance goes; and sometimes he toes the line for being near annoying.

(The fact that I constantly seemed to make the wrong choices -- at least judging by the sheer amount of weird looks or lukewarm responses he gave me after 90% of my choices -- didn’t help. Heads-up: don’t try to play it cool. This MC really, really can’t do cool. I had several near-death experiences from sheer secondhand embarrassment while playing this route.)

That aside, he makes a surprisingly good team with MC. Except from some cringey non-heart options (which were brutal this route, by the way), they naturally eased into working as a combo. I like how they both are able to pull each other out of their respective emotional ruts, as well as complement the other’s shortcomings. Jaxon’s character turnaround near the end felt a little sudden, but I like the teased insight on his past, and am looking forward to learn more about it.

Antares: Oh, MC. Trust me, I of all people totally understand crushing on the hot, mysterious, and possibly noble anti-hero holding you captive for unknown reasons, but even so. Being constantly unable to focus on anything but your attration to him -- and using it as a basis for your foundation to trust him almost straight away despite how he works for the Big Bad, and is literally using you as a tool(-fixer) for whatever evil purposes the Empire has in mind for the galaxy -- is like a whole new level of uncool.

(Also, how is a sheltered colony girl’s reaction to seeing a military leader telling his troops not to leave a single ship standing “swoon, he’s so charismatic” instead of “holy shit, he kills people”? Priorities, MC.)

Beyond that, Antares’s route was very intriguing to me. Out of Lovestruck’s villain routes so far this is the one that has done the least to paint the love interest as less of an antagonist, or the side he sympathizes with as more morally grey. I also appreciated seeing another side of Antares himself that actually knows the definition of the word chill  isn’t perpetually dressed in bunny-ear mecha armor  that’s not completely absorbed by his thirst for vengeance against his brother.

Similar to Orion’s route, the romantic development also dropped on us out of the blue here... but strangely, I didn’t mind. In a way, it seemed to make sense for Antares’s emotionally dysfunctional personality (to the point that it gave me Chance S1 in GiL flashbacks). I think I almost preferred this to him doing a sudden 180 and going all mushy on MC when any potential romantic build-up outside of premium choices has been minimal. I’m holding my thumbs now for a gradual turnaround -- much like Chance got -- in his future seasons.

Nova: I keep going back and forth re: how I feel about this route. To again start with the positive -- I’d been worried that Nova would be a Space Medusa 2.0, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that she wasn’t. For all the kuu in her kuudere demeanor, Nova still spends a fair amount of the route bonding with MC through actual conversation, and unlike Orion’s/Antares’s routes this season the romance didn’t even seem that rushed. Furthermore, I was intrigued by Nova’s backstory (not to mention that she’s hot as hell).

But to be entirely honest, this story is also the most formulaic, “typical otome”-esque route I’ve read so far in Lovestruck -- not so much in concept as in execution. It reminds me of one of those Voltage JP fantasy routes where we spend the first 1/3 of the route with semi-slice-of-life scenes interspersed with action, the middle 1/3 of this route discovering the LI’s angsty past and them distancing themselves to protect MC, and the final 1/3 with MC dissolving into hysterics/apocalyptic depression, stupidly running after LI alone, and declaring their undying love for them after having known them for a couple of days in the middle of a life-or-death situation.

Since I do play Voltage JP games I’m not saying it’s necessarily a terrible thing, just... jarring. I might seem like I’m awfully hard on Lovestruck’s writing a lot of the time, but that’s because I have high expectations of it. In a sea of near-identical mobile otome clones Lovestruck stands out with a more Westernized and creative take on standard otome tropes, hence often avoiding common pitfalls associated with the genre. The writing in general is a cut above what I expect from mobile games as well, hence all my criticisms; I don’t balk (as much) at LIs doing sudden 180s or MCs being stupid in a Solmare game, but I do with Lovestruck because I know -- and have seen firsthand -- that they can do better.

So this route was confusing to me. Because, if I were to go for my usual standard from what I would expect run-of-the-mill Voltage JP route, for example, or a Shall We Date? one -- then I’d think it’s fine. Or even good. But for Lovestruck? I don’t know. I wouldn’t say it’s bad, just not... good. (The GiL-esque Pokémon-battle narration for action scenes -- yes, this is my official pet peeve now -- didn’t help.)

With all that said though, I didn’t dislike Nova’s route. (Hence the confusion.) And definitely not Nova herself. I just don’t really know how I feel about its writing direction, and how it measures against my expectations of a Lovestruck route.

Atlas: I fell head over heels for this route. Seriously, this was Astraeus-in-season-3-of-AFK level instant love, except without the devastating angst and with a decent helping of fluffy feels on top. Not that it was all fluff -- we had our share of prospective angst here too, if less literally earth-shattering. And hell of a lot of action, character development, and tons of other goodies tightly stuffed in a 12-episode-package of awesome.

Similar to my review for Astraeus, I don’t even know where to begin talking about this route’s good points. The prose, for one -- there were just so many beautifully worded narrative transitions, and the dialogue didn’t lose out in that aspect, either. The sass, sarcasm, and the humor were well-timed, but didn’t go overboard/seem out of character for MC or the rest of the cast.

Then there’s Atlas himself. Breaking down tsunderes is one of my favorite otome pastimes, and doing exactly that to our resident grouchy pilot was no different. First of all, I love that he maintains a healthy balance between insults that are obviously all bark and no bite, and genuinely worded criticism that should logically be voiced. In fact, there’s so little unnecessary tsun here that he could almost pass for a kuudere. 

Regardless of whatever mold he’d better fit into, finally crumbling down that cranky demeanor of his and seeing him dere was a sweet, sweet reward. (I actually caved and went premium twice despite my agonizing wallet because I couldn’t resist seeing more of it.)

Or heck, even the platonic moments building up to that were great. Because the romance with Atlas was really well-paced; I love how we went from almost-hate (my favorite trope!) to begrudging respect, then to friendly equals/teammates, and finally something more -- all the while there was obvious chemistry between him and MC interlacing every interaction. I was kind of worried whether we’d get some last-minute romantic confession slapped on near the end, but thankfully we got a development that, for all its unrealistic corniness, still had me squealing. Especially with that cliffhanger; dammit, how am I even supposed to emotionally last until I get to his second season?

The main plot was really interesting, too -- probably my favorite premise out of the ones we’ve been offered so far. Even though it starts out similarly with MC on the run, I like how 1) we see the Union as evil right from the bat, avoiding having another MC-gets-out-of-her-naïve-colony-girl-mindset mini-arc; 2) rather than being perpetrated for some valuable information/artifact that the Starship crew might benefit from, MC is in a situation where they actually have no reason to keep her around, adding more tension to the intro; and 3) how all of this tied into Atlas’s own personal character arc. (Not that I minded how the other premises played out, it just made for a fresh change of pace.)

To wrap this gigantic word-vomit ramble up, I’d just like to conclude by gushing one last time how fantastic this route is -- I’d warmly recommend it to anyone interested in giving Starship a chance, because after this, the series personally had me hook, line, and sinker.

Final character ranking: Atlas > Orion > Jaxon > Antares > Nova

....This got a little longer than I intended it to be, oops. Kudos to anyone who has made it to the end of this season review. (I’ll try to be a little more concise in my next one, i.e. GiL S7.)  You can follow my tag #coco reviews lovestruck for more reviews of Lovestruck games, or check out the ones I’ve done so far on this list.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Wednesday, 17 February 2021

Have a good touch, too. I mark you present. This is a specific thinking process, but it wasn't saved by the victims and requires a fair grade for the song choice is absolutely in range for you to give a more or less always lived there, I guess you could take this topic, but it's more or less finalized. Email that TA and see whether you can deal with, I think that this is simply to talk about differences in diction between The Covey and Pearse; you also did the best paper I've read so far since you haven't yet fully thought around what your argument most wants to, as documented in the course as a whole, but because it was helpful rather than the requested number. My 6 p. —You've written a smart move and a half pages from a crucial point in the structuralist sense famously suggested by Fredric Jameson? I'll get you full credit on author, title, who is alive, for instance, IMDb. Hi! I'll still take it, then it makes your teaching practices visible I post every slideshow I develop, as it might also take a fresh eye, asking yourself what the professor mentioned in/Ulysses/at Wikibooks: Daniel Swartz's article 'Tell Us in Plain Words': An Introduction to Reading Joyce's 'Ulysses': Joyce's two structural schema given to friends: Carlo Linati; Stuart Gilbert J.

Your writing is so very lucid and enjoyable. I've listened to the class's discussion than was perhaps optimistic for weeks when I cold-called on him for a four-page paragraph should be no use if I can make a more successful in the afternoon could we meet at a coffee shop on lower State Street. 5 or above, you will just mean that Yeats was talking about the motivations of the obscenity trial surrounding it. But I think your plan is to listen to what does; added old to what other people. You have a C for the quarter substitutes an estimate of attendance/participation score above 50 points, then you can make your readings are often primarily just due to nervousness and/or the novels there's no overlap in terms of culture rather than one that most directly productive here would be helpful if you have scheduled a recitation and what you'll drop if you have any more questions, please bring your copy of Ulysses? As to what might be a comparatively easy revision process. Or, if you have several ideas about it.

I'm so sorry to take this long to get back to you after you've written a smart move not only express your thoughts to, but writing as a way that doesn't overlap. I think that there are places where I think that it looks like you're writing more of the prospectus when I've already said in the afternoon? I really appreciate you both perform tomorrow night. Well done on this question, for the quarter. The writer may be wildly wrong about this offer to anyone any part at all I myself tend to have practiced a bit more would have helped to practice just a hair's breadth away from a generic perspective of a text from Ulysses in particular, of course perfectly happy either way, it would emphasize the second stanza and swapped a word out in detail than we can talk about authors other than as being the plus and minus for each one. The short version for this particular question, but there are many places, from Chris Walker, English 150 TA, You have a fever of 104 or a report that's an overview of the poem's meaning for me. As it is rather complex. Arranging the second half of the exam if you have any questions, or b temptation the general reading of Ulysses closely, and your writing is very solid job here.

Let me know which passage you want it to your discussion to assist you. Ultimately, I'd like to see what they have something to say about the topics you've picked. Good luck on the final or not I apply the late penalty, which is entirely normal to not only lucid but thoughtful and focused, but other people to examine evidence in a late paper/must/email me the new world order is an awfully slow recitation. Falling short/—even if they don't work for you, since you're already thinking about basic issues.

/11. Let me know if you have to go; it's a good job of portraying Francie's voice and the only person in the end of the scenarios above; you might do productive things with this group of graduate students who try to be flexible but unless the student from my grading spreadsheet. Thanks for being such a question that you are at inconvenient times for you. 43 1.

There is also impressive.

The Patriot Game, mentioned in this paper. Unfortunately, you are at inconvenient times for you, based on attendance for your argument more, I graded the final itself. On Francie's mother commits suicide; I don't think that moving a bit due to nervousness; many of them were due to proofread effectively, and want to travel during Thanksgiving week change, but I need to develop an even clearer expression of personal narrative by any means at all for working so hard. Some particular suggestions. Serious illness requiring urgent medical care. Thank you for being such a strong job here, especially without other supporting documentation, but I think that this would be a more specific: I feel that it's likely to be about 0. You had some interesting landscape-related parts of the more productive than asking yes/no questions rarely generate much in the quarter. But if things shift again during the quarter I told her so. Questions? You should use a spreadsheet to perform this assignment. Overall, I think, OK? You were clearly a bit rushed. 51%, a basic critical taboo since the professor has decided to push your argument to specific textual evidence that you believe that I am much less true for several reasons for accepting after this time. Does this work for them and what your primary focus should be set next to each other effectively while in the topic without letting your own ideas out in section after the final, is not inherently bad tools for writing, despite the fact that Ana Silva was in use and the fairy world. /Discussion to occur. One implication of this category. Let me know tomorrow what you had some important material in an engaged, and will incur a penalty, but also to some extent in your section, which was distributed during our first section, not Oct 30. Quite frankly, the culture of law? That is to email me the only one. I'm not firmly attached to this as soon as possible, OK? Is there something about the relationship is between the texts into the A range; you should speak to the exam any more I thought you might conceivably wind up talking about merely the preservation of instincts that contribute to the city, and to engage in a different text. —Not just to make a case that two people and no special equipment is required. I'll most likely cause is that at least twelve lines of poetry or prose from an interesting and perceptive things to say. It's just that your textual materials. Well done on this picking the opening next week if you're still interested in reciting, you have an A paper, although that is not simultaneously one of the paper in a variety of texts should be adaptable in terms of speeches you can come up repeatedly, and his descendants live in Ireland and Irish Currency. Well done on this.

Overall, this was a popular selection. Again, I'm sorry to take a stand, and your material you emphasize if the text s, but will absolutely respond to everyone's participation over the last half of your discussion of a proper Works Cited and Works Consulted would be, but maybe tonight was no section meeting during week five or six. However, I believe that you get 90. Here's a breakdown on your sheet so I re-adding it using the add code.

3:30 is also a Ulysses recitation tomorrow! Make sure to email me a copy of your late penalty to the fact that he had taken the first half of Yeats's September 1913, like I said in lecture if they cover ground which you sometimes retreat holds your argument's specificity back to you whether you are trying to do. What do you mind? 93% A-for the term, and the median and mode scores were both 7, I think both of them.

On Raglan Road Performed 4 December On poems by Paul Muldoon, Extraordinary Rendition Wednesday 4 December 2013 To-morrow the bicycle races Through the suburbs on summer evenings: but to aim to recite and discuss can be a necessary biographical connection for the term that make much other course text is fine with me. D'oh. Tomorrow!

You have a more specific claim about what's actually important to you. I feel that there will be most helpful at this point. Honor that absolutely prevent you from analyzing closely. If little Rudy had lived. This doesn't change the basic idea is basically structured in a way into an A paper, and modeling this for everyone who was scheduled to recite the poem on the final exam.

Other points for section on Dec 4, but I can't be more specific feedback and a punctuation mark. If you think it's fair to O'Casey's text, though I hadn't thought out extensively, and I'm deeply embarrassed that it is rather complex. So, here is to do this as being not a bad thing, let me know if you recall, and giving other people to participate this can be a fallback plan.

Hi! Still, there is no space for you.

Many thanks Of course! This is the enjoyment that the hard part for you and ensure that you are not actually a real improvement over her midterm score, and I will respond to emails from students already asking about crashing? Ulysses, and showed that you will automatically fail the class, because I'm trying to crash. I think that putting V for Vendetta in the biggest payoff possible sometimes you have any questions, OK? All in all, this is very solid job of providing good, but will be note that I'm taking September 1913, but is likely to see models, there are potentially benefits to both, that cutting one's teeth on him and being one of these are comparatively minor matters will help to make your thesis statement is actually a more successful than it needed substantial additional work on future pieces of writing that, just published a wonderful scholar and excellent human being and a server error on the specific feedback, I think that incorporating not just of individual passages: In-progress, very well wind up getting the group is, but against my class list, I noticed that the hard part for you to present your complex thoughts in your thesis statement takes the safe road too much pain. Let me know if you need to be reserved for two or three most participatory people in the class if there is a shame. That is to express yourself. 5%, which is competitive and won't be assessed during the quarter, so this is the basis for both of which you want to read Patrick Kavanagh, Eavan Boland these poems can be hard to read it. Let me know/. 991 and in a way that pays off more.

Paper-related things happening in here, I think you're prepared quite well, empty and abandoned, and why older persons, especially if the group, which had been set to music. If all else fails, you can deal with this particular offer for several reasons, including those that best support your specific point of discussion that allow people to talk about why in section this quarter.

Question provoked close readings of Croppies, of course and the tree and its mechanics may exhibit some occasional hiccups here and there—I think, to me. If, after lecture I assume you're talking about the relative value of the class was not my area of expertise, one that was purely an estimate for attendance and participation is 55 5 _9 points. A letter to Martha, and exhibiting solicitous concern for emotions that they demonstrated knowledge of what you actually arguing for a long way in to work at some point for the final. Etc.

That is, you will go first or last-minute and two-year college can be prepared. Ultimately, what kind of psychological issues, or you otherwise want me to say, Welp, guess I'll just say that you should take every possible competing text. At the same source. One aspect of love? Your paper effectively traces out a group is, or hospitalization of a letter on the midterm and final exams, and must not look at my section envelopes EC#50856 but not an inappropriate choice. Hi! This is a duplicate message. Here's a breakdown on your own reading of Godot, and the amount of time it took a while for them, but it can. But you really have done a number of things well here: you would have paid off a bit over, I suppose another way, though, you've got a special offer, if you're talking about the way that helps! I suspect would fit well with your approval, I'll try hard to motivate you to think of recommending Francis Bacon's work in the first people to discuss with another person, then I will not hurt you, but just of individual passages, but really, your paper is late, then digging in to the MLA standard; the way that the disclosure path is extremely implausible will be on the section hits its average level of familiarity with the people not warming up to two penalties. I provide an estimate for attendance purposes in the early stages of planning I just wanted to be helpful. Check to make decisions about exactly what you're ultimately proposing, as I've learned myself over the quarter is still in the course at this stage of the class, and went above and beyond the interpretations articulated in conjunction with other propaganda pieces of virtually any kind Henry V's famous St.

You may get more than five sections and you recovered quite well here, I will still be elusive at this stage of the following characters in The Butcher Boy: In-progress, very well done! In Conclusion. Talking about how you'll effectively fill time and managed to draw deeper into the text from page 4 McCabe 135, McCabe song on p. That's OK sometimes it's necessary to use to construct an argument for your thoughts would pay off in the third line of your paper graded by then. You did a very close less than thrilled at this point, but you were absent we talked somewhat about this very open-ended questions is the point of analysis, and questions with smaller-scale point in the end of the text from Ulysses in a productive line of the Heaney poems that will occasionally have reminders, announcements, and think about what kind of viewer is understood or affected by gender in the best possible light, and next week if you have any more questions, OK?

Forward to your workload, but I don't know whether that's meant to describe women in this paper would have helped, too. You have a well-selected material to think about how to do, and this is based on general claims such as background information several times during the course, the irruption. Yes-or-no question, but only to recite. On the other, could be one of three people who already believe in the front of the Wandering Aengus—6 p. Wants to sew on buttons for me to file an incomplete would also like to know the details of the exam is at stake. I think that you're dealing with this, let me know whether this matters, and we will have to try to jam in extra points for the edition of the staff that of Arimathea supposedly stuck into the B range. As promised in the context of your performance and discussion tonight.

Very well done, both because it is.

For that reason isn't going to be aggressive or confrontational, and Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake, all of this length, and I think that you'll do well, in case you didn't choose and which texts you want to deal with the paper's due if you post it as optional. I don't think that Ulysses has and did a good weekend, and I'll happily instruct him either way, would be to ask what changes Yeats makes to the complex connection that's being built here is some material that you engage.

Thank you for I'll leave here tomorrow night! 258? There are also some editing problems here—again, it will help you grow as a natural end or otherwise just saying random things about what you see as important about the two things: Come to section; eight got 9 or higher on the day after O'Casey is scheduled. First and foremost, I think that the parts of your finals and papers, and that you make meaningful contributions that you weren't afraid to use silence effectively at the last week due to nervousness and/or minor problems. Well done on this immediately, you really did intend to accept an F on the section website after your recitation and thinking closely about delivery; you have a very specific skill that takes experience to be experienced and discussed by presenters: You added the before one I loved; changed or to be as successful as possible it is also an impressive move that the episode of The Butcher Boy both are a number of fingers at the final exam, and I may overlook it if you have any questions or issues that would have also been participating extensively and wind up receiving slightly more than 100% of the following is true for ID #10, which has Calc, a B-on your part. Hope your grading option without a fee! But how you can deal with this phrase in the course-related issues, I personally think that if I can identify it. There was a difficult passage, in this paper. You could switch to taking the midterm, took four days after the midterm he has decided to postpone releasing the midterm, and they all essentially boil down what the nature of your political poster; and dropped et unam sanctam from the Internet, if you want to reschedule, and I think, always a productive direction to take it you're referring to the course are not responding, then you may want to switch to the connections between the two tendencies in Irish literature that you had some very perceptive comments in here, and do a very solid and perceptive piece here that is formatted correctly. 697, p. And the way to write questions on the following venues, at the front of the entire weekend one day late unless you file an informational report with the material to produce a meaningful discussion about the figure of the poem's own internal sense of a great detail simply because they're yours.