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emblazons · 1 year

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So (because I cannot go three seconds without noticing new little things that tell the wider story in this show):

Let’s talk about how the music that plays during the S3 Byler fight is the exact same music that plays during the S4 conversation Mike & Dustin have with Lucas as they walk to class after the pep rally—

—and how that parallel gives us insight not only into how Mike (and his devotion to Will) has evolved between seasons 3 and 4….but also how The Duffers are evolving Mike as a character in the wake of the "conflict" of forced conformity they introduced in S3.

To start: here are snippets of both scenes where “Not Kids Anymore” plays, both in Season 3 and Season 4.

Now, even though Mike is present in both scenes, it’s not entirely obvious why these things would be parallels, given the radical difference in tone. That said: when we look at these scenes in their wider contexts, we see that they are both exploring the exact same issue, only with Mike on opposite sides of the convo each time—

—namely, whether or not its worth it for Mike to embrace conformity, given that there are behaviors/roles he is meant to fill when trying to keep up with being normal/growing up...and "society" says that DnD / nerdiness (and a refusal / lack of desire to participate in performative relationships) stands entirely apart from that.

Let me see if I can explain.

First: these things are parallels because they are asking us to compare the Mikes in each situation—to notice how he took Will’s words to heart, and decided on some level that Will was right, not him. How do we know? Because in the time between these two convos (aka the rain fight and then the first few episodes of S4), we learn that Mike has made a point to address and rectify all criticisms Will had of him & his behavior during the rain fight.

As of the very first episode of S4, we are shown that Mike is 1) paying attention to both the party/DnD the way Will criticized him for not doing (to the point of calling out Lucas for not prioritizing it the way he now wants to)—

—2) he is focusing on keeping closeness with Dustin (even to the point of judging Lucas for not doing the same), because Will accused him of ignoring Dustin as readily as he ignored him—

—and 3) he has entirely stopped "swapping spit" with El (to the point of removing her from a hug at the airport, kissing her on the forehead...and then never kissing her again lmao) while letting his relationship fall apart without much of a fight…right before apologizing to Will for letting El get in the way of their time spent together in the first place.

Basically: even though he is still struggling in many ways to defend himself from being bullied/being an outcast by hiding behind his relationship with El (the same way Lucas is with “being popular” and basketball), we can see that Mike has made clear strides towards embracing the sides of him that aren’t conformist, which is reflected in all of his decision-making in Will's absence.

Though Mike is getting older and the party “aren’t kids anymore,” them paralleling these scenes is showing us that Mike, at least on some level, has realized that growing up is not at odds with embracing the things he enjoys & his various identities, whether that be through playing DnD—

—wearing clothes he chose on his own—

—or willingly choosing closeness with Will over the performance of relationships with girls (the same way Will already had in Season 3, and Dustin reflected as well).

Now...this isn't to say that he's entirely succeeded at the task, given how many times we see him fumble through actually implementing these changes/revelations in himself, whether with clothes (hello 'shitty knockoff'), embracing his actual interests, or even letting himself want to admit he wants to be with/around Will and not El—

—on top of the fact that I've already talked (many, many times) about how the journey of "feeling like you lost" the Duffers took us on had Mike ending up in a position where "conformity" temporarily wins, how that plays into his relationship with El versus Will, and why it matters for his character even outside of his queerness.

Still: I think this parallel in particular is important to understanding his character because it rules out any idea that Mike is somehow oblivious rather than intentionally working through to the changes happening in himself, whether they be in regards to him re-choosing DnD, making decisions about his clothing for himself...or wanting to be closer to Will / not participate in "liking girls," which is what he gets projection-mad at Will about during the rain fight.

tl;dr: Mike has realized on some level that he wants to be more like / closer to Will than his S3 "conformity" self—and the war we see on his face throughout the season in conversations with Will has a lot to do with that, among other things.

This musical parallel in particular draws attention to the fact that there have been changes happening within Mike that he sees and recognizes—he just "lost" like every other character this season, aka failed at walking into a more secure sense of self / out of his "conformist" relationship in its entirety...which we'll resolve in S5. :)

#byler #anti mlvn #mike wheeler #will byers #mike wheeler core #this could have gotten SO MUCH LONGER and I know I'm gonna do a companion piece on lucas right after this but lmao I had to START SOMEWHERE #like? one day I'm just gonna have to write a fucking book on mike wheeler because I have SO MUCH TO SAY LMAO #my st commentary #st parallels #stranger things #st music analysis

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nostalgebraist · 1 year

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@oakfern replied to your post “it's going to be fun to watch the realization...”:

i feel like this is going to play out very similarly to voice assistants. there was a huge boom in ASR research, the products got a lot of hype, and they actually sold decently (at least alexa did). but 10 years on, they've been a massive failure, costing way more than they ever made back. even if ppl do think chatbot search engines are exciting and cool, it's not going to bring in more users or sell more products, and in the end it will just be a financial loss

(Responding to this a week late)

I don't know much about the history of voice assistants. Are there any articles you recommend on the topic? Sounds interesting.

ETA: Iater, I found and read this article from Nov 2022, which reports that Alexa and co. still can't turn a profit after many years of trying.

But anyway, yeah... this is why I don't have a strong sense of how widespread/popular these "generative AI" products will be a year or two from now. Or even five years from now.

(Ten years from now? Maybe we can trust the verdict will be in at that point... but the tech landscape of 2033 is going to be so different from ours that the question "did 'generative AI' take off or not?" will no doubt sound quaint and irrelevant.)

Remember when self-driving cars were supposed to be right around the corner? Lots of people took this imminent self-driving future seriously.

And I looked at it, and thought "I don't get it, this problem seems way harder than people are giving it credit for. And these companies show no signs of having discovered some clever proprietary way forward." If people asked me about it, that's what I would say.

But even if I was sure that self-driving cars wouldn't arrive on schedule, that didn't give me much insight into the fate of "self-driving cars," the tech sector meme. It wasn't like there was some specific deadline, and when we crossed it everyone was going to look up and say "oh, I guess that didn't work, time to stop investing."

The influx of capital -- and everything downstream from it, the trusting news stories, the prominence of the "self-driving car future" in the public mind, the seriousness which it was talked about -- these things went on, heedless of anything except their own mysterious internal logic.

They went on until . . . what? The pandemic, probably? I actually still don't know.

Something definitely happened:

In 2018 analysts put the market value of Waymo LLC, then a subsidiary of Alphabet Inc., at $175 billion. Its most recent funding round gave the company an estimated valuation of $30 billion, roughly the same as Cruise. Aurora Innovation Inc., a startup co-founded by Chris Urmson, Google’s former autonomous-vehicle chief, has lost more than 85% since last year [i.e. 2021] and is now worth less than $3 billion. This September a leaked memo from Urmson summed up Aurora’s cash-flow struggles and suggested it might have to sell out to a larger company. Many of the industry’s most promising efforts have met the same fate in recent years, including Drive.ai, Voyage, Zoox, and Uber’s self-driving division. “Long term, I think we will have autonomous vehicles that you and I can buy,” says Mike Ramsey, an analyst at market researcher Gartner Inc. “But we’re going to be old.”

Whatever killed the "self-driving car" meme, though, it wasn't some newly definitive article of proof that the underlying ideas were flawed. The ideas never made sense in the first place. The phenomenon was not really about the ideas making sense.

Some investors -- with enough capital, between them, to exert noticable distortionary effects on entire business sectors -- decided that "self-driving cars" were, like, A Thing now. And so they were, for a number of years. Huge numbers of people worked very hard trying to make "self-driving cars" into a viable product. They were paid very well to do. Talent was diverted away from other projects, en masse, into this effort. This went on as long as the investors felt like sustaining it, and they were in no danger of running out of money.

Often the "tech sector" feels less like a product of free-market incentives than it does like a massive, weird, and opaque public works product, orchestrated by eccentrics like Masayoshi Son, and ultimately organized according to the aesthetic proclivities and changing moods of its architects, not for the purpose of "doing business" in the conventional sense.

Gig economy delivery apps (Uber Eats, Doordash, etc.) have been ubiquitous for years, and have reported huge losses in every one of those years.

This entertaining post from 2020 about "pizza arbitrage" asks:

Which brings us to the question - what is the point of all this? These platforms are all losing money. Just think of all the meetings and lines of code and phone calls to make all of these nefarious things happen which just continue to bleed money. Why go through all this trouble?

Grubhub just lost $33 million on $360 million of revenue in Q1.

Doordash reportedly lost an insane $450 million off $900 million in revenue in 2019 (which does make me wonder if my dream of a decentralized network of pizza arbitrageurs does exist).

Uber Eats is Uber's "most profitable division” 😂😂. Uber Eats lost $461 million in Q4 2019 off of revenue of $734 million. Sometimes I need to write this out to remind myself. Uber Eats spent $1.2 billion to make $734 million. In one quarter.

And now, in February 2023?

DoorDash's total orders grew 27% to 467 million in the fourth quarter. That beat Wall Street’s forecast of 459 million, according to analysts polled by FactSet. Fourth quarter revenue jumped 40% to $1.82 billion, also ahead of analysts’ forecast of $1.77 billion.

But profits remain elusive for the 10-year-old company. DoorDash said its net loss widened to $640 million, or $1.65 per share, in the fourth quarter as it expanded into new categories and integrated Wolt into its operations.

Do their investors really believe these companies are going somewhere, and just taking their time to get there? Or is this more like a subsidy? The lost money (a predictable loss in the long term) merely the price paid for a desired good -- for an intoxicating exercise of godlike power, for the chance to reshape reality to one's whims on a large scale -- collapsing the usual boundary between self and outside, dream and reality? "The gig economy is A Thing, now," you say, and wave your hand -- and so it is.

Some people would pay a lot of money to be a god, I would think.

Anyway, "generative AI" is A Thing now. It wasn't A Thing a year ago, but now it is. How long will it remain one? The best I can say is: as long as the gods are feeling it.

#oakfern #ai tag

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carulenes · 1 year

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an analysis of wolfwood’s characterization in trigun stampede as well as his connection to vash (+ why i believe he’s likely much older than we think)

okay i’ve been thinking abt this since eps 10 or 11 were released (this show became my special interest the second it dropped if i'm being completely honest) but its been scratching at my brain ever since i read the sakuracon radio interview and since i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this yet i figured i may as well because it’s clear they really did pull very extensively from the manga and i really am loving how they adapted his character. also i occasionally keep seeing the “tristamp wolfwood is a kid/is 14-15” takes which i need to at least try to help put to rest bc they make no sense given his other iterations and would actively make the story worse.

a quick tldr of my main points before i get on my very long winded soapbox:

wolfwood in trigun stampede has been used as an undying, unkillable soldier by the eye of michael for decades.

rollo as a character, as opposed to monev the gale, was designed specifically as a metaphor for wolfwood’s backstory.

wolfwood and vash are written to be literal complements to one another.

I literally don’t think I have the space to talk abt all my thoughts, and ofc these are all my personal thoughts so any and all of what i’m saying could be wrong, but direct analysis of eps 4-7 (as I think they’re the most important) and discussion of his trajectory in general under the cut (obvious spoilers for the show but also the manga as well as tw: discussions of suicide/suicidal ideation as well as the general tw list for the show's graphic content):

Starting first with a side point that Wolfwood was never a child at any point he was with Vash during thecourse of the story, including the manga. He has always been a man in his 20s, with trimax ww having the appearance of being in his 30s or 40s. It is absolutely crucial to his and Vash’s characterizations, as well as their entire dynamic together, that Wolfwood is an adult. Could make an entire separate post about this, but I feel like starting here is important.

Onto the sakuracon japan radio interview. The team gave a LOT of interesting insight into the development of the show, but one specific point stood out to me:

This is important, because I definitely missed it during the show’s initial run, but I think it’s REALLY obvious once you know what you’re looking for, and is a big factor in why I think he’s likely older than we realized.

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EP 4: These are the very first lines that are said about him in the show, and the very first time we see him, he is absolutely exhausted:

We know that at this point, Wolfwood is likely on his way to Jeneora Rock to meet up with Vash to fulfill his contract...until Vash and co. quite literally slam into him (and his life) unexpectedly, nearly killing him with their van. He probably should’ve died except… he’s on his feet almost instantly, able to walk perfectly fine and being a jackass as though he didn’t get launched halfway across the desert by a moving vehicle. Which is… odd, naturally.

When they try to find help and instead find the dead couple, he specifically mentions that he isn't a priest like he's been in other iterations. He's now an undertaker, someone meant to guide others through their deaths:

His personality is hard to tap down. He's goofy and childish and downright unlikeable, and there's a hint of something lurking deeper, something menacing and potentially dangerous. So much so that Roberto is on edge the entire time their group is together after being swallowed by the Grand Worm, and flat out tells Vash that Wolfwood is untrustworthy and likely an assassin, "a man who can kill with a smile on his face". And Vash’s response is… really fucking weird, given how long the two have known each other:

not to mention he's wearing sunglasses Wolfwood is rightfully very ??? in response because, what the fuck is he talking about, and why is he so genuine about it, they just met???

Fast forward to a bit later, when Wolfwood is like "hey man, you really shouldn't be so trusting. I could've shot you in the back several times now." To which Vash is like "but you didn't, though." And Wolfwood is even more confused because is this guy stupid???

And then it's time for the final act: Wolfwood reveals his Punisher, destroying the Grand Worm while giving the illusion of taking out Zazie as well. Meryl was informed by someone that Wolfwood had been the one to save them all, but when she tries to thank him, he immediately shifts the subject, being annoying and arguably completely unlikeable. Roberto points out that Wolfwood had lied about who he was, trying to get Vash to realize that he still can't be trusted, and again Vash shoots it down: "We're alive because of him."

Wolfwood showed his role as the Punisher without hesitation, and not only was Vash not really phased by it, but he actually seemed to be inspired by him, stopping his self-destructive tendencies and even repeating his own words back to him. And that's the moment we finally learn his name in the show:

But then, almost immediately, we have a complete reversal of his scene with Vash in the Worm. It’s also of note that Zazie always specifically says human lives:

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EP 5: One of the most important episodes in this discussion, and it starts with the name alone, "Child of Blessing". Here’s a very general summary:

A young boy in a much less than ideal living situation is chosen to be 'a blessing upon the world through his sacrifice', which turns out to secretly be mutilative experimentation on children in search of a subject compatible with a mysterious medicine that can heal any injury. The meds warp him, morph him into something that doesn't even appear to be human. He tries to return home, but his mother, the only family he knows and loves, is terrified of him. She calls him a monster, and the boy finds himself struggling to articulate who he is. Then, he wanders alone alone without purpose in that unchanging altered body, a body that can withstand lethal amounts of damage directly because of the meds, for at least 20 years. All he has is a single name: Vash the Stampede, the person who promised to save him, and the one person who managed to bring back his consciousness in the end, if only for a moment.

The moment Nicholas sees Rollo regenerate is the second the switch flips. He instantly demands to know what the fuck is up with him, and when Vash responds telling him that he was too late to give him the medicine he needed, Wolfwood shuts down, because he recognizes himself. From this moment until the rest of the episode, we are no longer seeing Nicholas D. Wolfwood; we're seeing Nicholas the Punisher.

Vash continues to push Rollo to remember who he is, while Nicholas continuously says that there's no way to save him, that he's already a monster now. In the final moments, Nicholas inevitably feels tasked with Rollo's death like the undertaker he is, and when Vash angrily demands to know why he took the shot, his response is:

When discussing Rollo's killer, Elendira refers to Nicholas by name, but Conrad specifically states that no, he is the Punisher.

In vol 10 of the manga, Vash thinks to himself: “I met a strange man. Just as I thought we had come to an understanding, I found that our core beliefs were opposed to each other. I was used to such situations, but I wonder how he felt.”

————

EP 6: This episode builds directly upon the foundations set by the episode prior. Child of Blessing ended with Rollo being referred to repeatedly as a monster, and this episode begins with Nicholas in the middle of completing a kill. Right before he does, his victim gets one final glance at his assailant, an inhuman looking executioner, and calls him a monster… directly because he will not die. He’s also been shown knocking back meds like tequila shots in tristamp, which we all know was NOT possible in the manga. During the flashback scene, Nicholas is literally called the Child of Blessing.

We see a very similar sequence with Nicholas that we saw with Rollo; the horrific torture, the bodily mutilation (during which Conrad specifically mentions that the drug will heal all damage done the body, as well as rebuild and strengthen the cells), and the attempt to return home:

Something different happens with Nicholas, though. Nicholas can't go home; he’s literally yanked away from his chance at freedom by Legato. Nicholas can’t go home, likely ever again in his mind, because Hopeland Orphanage and the Eye of Michael represent two fundamentally different ideals.

Hopeland (and thus Livio) is exactly like its name for Nicholas: it is is land of hope, the only place in the world where Wolfwood was allowed to exist freely. When Nicholas was taken by EoM, Wolfwood began to die.

The entirety of the EoM is shrouded in imagery of death and rebirth, specifically in regards to humanity. Humanity in this case has a dual meaning: humanity as a species, and humanity as a concept. Their philosophy is that the end justifies the means in that humans in this form will be preserved and would likely live exceedingly longer lives but, as repeatedly mentioned, there are side effects.

Aging and death are integral parts of the human experience, the two aspects of life that we ALL experience regardless of circumstance. Can you be human without humanity?

The message behind these two episodes is to show that the process of becoming part of the EoM is a metaphorical crucifixion symbolizing the death of one’s humanity. And Nicholas is interesting, because he’s almost the perfect specimen in their eyes and is treated as such. Almost. The only thing holding him back are the two strands of humanity he has left, both which are nearly destroyed in the very next episode.

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EP 7: In the previous episode, during the animated flashback of Nicholas and Livio, we see a few scattered scenes of other people living at the orphanage. Interestingly, while almost all of the children are seen with very sparse detail (or even none really at all), there is one person, the caretaker, whose face we get a pretty clear picture of. At the very beginning of this episode, we have the first and only shot of the inside of the orphanage in the usual style. While none of the children are familiar and actually aren’t incredibly distinguishable from one another, there is one figure in the room with recognizable hair, but looks considerably older than in the flashback:

During the majority of their interactions, you don’t see Nicholas and Livio interacting with any of the other children. They are simply a background, a set piece to the story and a representation of just how other they were forced to become.

This episode features them fighting each other, dealing each other what should be mortal wounds, but somehow remain standing, as though they’re perfectly fine. As if on cue, the soldiers stationed call them both monsters and run away in fear.

But Vash doesn’t run from the danger. He runs towards it.

Nicholas tries to stop him, and all he gets in return is “he’s important to you, isn’t he?” as though that’s enough. But it is enough for Vash. And Nicholas doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nicholas comes dangerously close to giving up, to giving into his role as the Punisher and killing the last bit of Wolfwood to do so, but it’s Vash who stops him. He diverts his shot and, instead of hurting Livio, literally frees Nicholas from Legato and Zazie’s trap. Vash tells him to make him remember, and Nicholas thinks it’s bullshit… until he doesn’t.

And when he finally relents, when he tries to emulate what the silly blonde idiot keeps screaming at him about… It works. For a moment, but Livio does wake up for a moment. Nicholas hadn’t been able to see Rollo, but he did see this. And he really doesn’t know what to do about it.

To drive the point home, Livio drives a bullet into his own head and falls to the ground in a scene very reminiscent of Rollo’s death… but is implied to still be alive. With him saved, now it’s time for Hopeland. And this is when the narrative really turns a focus to the balance between Nicholas and Vash.

The group is half convinced that they’re about to die snd that the town will be destroyed when, all of a sudden, it’s Nicholas who’s yelling that they have to do something. Because despite all the noise Nicholas makes about self-sacrifice and calling Vash a weirdo, he’s directly inspired by his energy, which is proven correct when Vash is the first one to side with him.

Then, somehow despite the odds, the two of them manage to work together to stop the ion cannon. Which should have been impossible. And because of this, Nicholas is finally willing to give Vash the chance to take the lead on things.

When Vash and Wolfwood discuss their plan to save Hopeland, and after they argue about which method is the correct one, the conversation they have is probably the clearest depiction of Nicholas’ inner struggle:

Nicholas: Have it your way. Just for today. I do owe you one… but if the orphanage doesn’t survive this, I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll wish you were dead before I kill you.

Vash: Wolfwood…

Nicholas: Shut up! I’m the Punisher! I’m not like you… I’m Nicholas the Punisher…

He murmurs the last line as though he’s trying to convince himself. He uses his persona as the Punisher almost like a mask, like a cat puffing up and hissing to deter predators. It’s a defense mechanism, and a trauma response. Except.. it still doesn’t work, because the entire time Vash is simply not listening. Regardless of what Nicholas says, Vash does not stop fighting Nicholas on the title that was forced on him by the EoM and, in fact, blatantly rejects it. And the moment Nicholas finishes speaking, when he declares himself to be the Punisher, the episode’s title card finally appears: Wolfwood.

It's a direct representation of this panel of Nicholas' inner monologue from the manga:

——

Nicholas and Vash’s roles as each other’s complements is emphasized very deliberately when the two work to stop the sand steamer from smashing into Hopeland. These screenshots occur one directly after the other:

Another detail the team mentioned often during the interview was attention to use of color. In color theory, blue and orange are complementary colors: hues that are opposite each other on the color wheel but, when used together, come together to create harmony and balance. Additionally, Vash is the character typically associated with warm hues, while Nicholas is paired with colder ones; with the colors flipped, it’s almost as if they are literally mirror images of each other.

The two are in the same position, in the middle of similar actions, both drawing strength from that which makes them “other” in order to work together to protect a common goal. And once again, miraculously, they succeed, able to do together what neither could ever have done together.

This mirror motif is even clearer when comparing these respective scenes from each of their respective backstory episodes:

For Nicholas and Vash, on top of sharing such a crucial common thread in their backstories, often in the show they are seen together, either side by side or back to back. Often they’re shown doing the same thing at the same time, almost as though they’re moving as one. And they consistently save each other over and over again, with Nicholas acting to save Vash physically, and Vash working to protect Nicholas’ psyche. Vash refuses to let anyone continue to see themselves as a monster, as lesser than, in much the same way Nicholas refuses to let anyone else be used as one.

They are a pair, a unit working together to create a force that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

They are both “other”, they are both different, and they both seek to protect the things they love and care about despite the excruciating pain it can put them through.

Nicholas and Vash’s entite dynamic is basically “I don’t understand you, but I recognize you. I recognize myself in you. And somehow, that’s enough for me to trust you.”

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So with all this in mind, here is how I’ve come to understand Nicholas’ arc throughout tristamp:

When we first meet Nicholas D. Wolfwood we meet a weary man longing for death to save him, longing to be free from the purposelessness of his life but knowing the hope is futile. He works for the Eye of Michael as an assassin against his will and has for God knows how long. Not only is he no longer a priest, but he’s no longer religious at all, having no belief in God at all and a particular disdain for the false promises and hopes of salvation that are portrayed by it. He doesn’t care about the clothes he wears, whether he looks messy, whether it’s suited for the desert, because he literally doesn’t care about anything, really. He has no home, and can never go back to the orphanage— there’s likely no one left there that he knows anyway, and even of there were, they wouldn’t recognize the monster he’s become. Nicholas is tired, he’s angry, he’s potentially depressed. He fights impractically, sometimes leaving himself open to attacks he could probably block with his Punisher, but he just doesn’t care. He’s just here to do his job, which is to escort his piece of shit CEO’s assumedly equally piece of shit brother to him so they can destroy the world together and he can hopefully die off in peace.

Until he actually meets Vash, and he’s… really fucking weird. He’s dumb and naive and acts like he knows Nicholas on some deep level after they’ve just met, but… he’s not a bad guy. Just another crybaby who doesn’t understand the world. He can see the Punisher and not be frightened by it. That means something, means enough that he feels that he can introduce himself now. He still doesn’t know how to handle kindness, so he deflects whenever it’s shown to him, making irreverent jokes and being annoying in order push people away. But then he meets Rollo and has a flashback to himself. He learns that Vash is no stranger to false promises, has sold the same thing to the kid who ended up just like him, and yeah, Vash is no better than the EoM. He talks a big game but doesn’t actually know anything. Nicholas kills Rollo out of mercy because it’s what he wishes could be done to him; every day of living his life is torture.

But then his hometown and childhood best friend are suddenly in danger. He’d completely forgotten what it felt like to have something to lose, to protect. And without planning for it, Vash also becomes something to protect, because even if he doesn’t act like it, Nicholas desperately wants to believe in him. He doesn’t want the EoM to be right. But the feeling of having something to protect is terrifying, because it means you have something to lose. Nicholas gets incredibly stressed out by this, because it’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember what it feels like. But it’s enough to get him, for likely the first time in a very long time, to hope. And it’s Vash who helps him so that he’s able to hang on to that hope for a little while longer.

He still can’t get too excited, because he hasn’t actually finished his job yet. Before he does, though, he sees Vash’s scars (which was a deliberate choice, as in both the manga AND the og anime this scene went to the girls) and wow, if it weren’t for the regenerative properties of the drug, he would likely look the same. He drops Vash off with Knives and knows that Vash will likely be killed, but he’s also expecting to die himself in the fallout, so it doesn’t matter, really. Except for some reason, it does a bit. And then, yet again, Vash miraculously doesn’t die, and in fact changes the game and actually looks like he might stand a chance against Knives, and is clearly willing to die to do it.

And then July is destroyed. But, miraculously, Nicholas isn’t dead. He still finished the contract, but now… now what?

The show began with Nicholas at his lowest, and ends with Vash at his lowest point. And Nicholas owes him one.

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INCREDIBLY long story short, it really is clear that they weren’t kidding, the team really drew SO MUCH inspiration from the themes trimax it’s unbelievable and I really really think we’re in for something incredible during the second phase. I also think it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.

#trigun stampede #trigun #trigun 2023 #nicholas d. wolfwood #nicholas the punisher #tristamp #tristamp wolfwood #vash the stampede #tristamp vash #this had no reason being this long but fuck it we ball and i was off work and had the time anyway #neurodivergency go brrr ig idk but like i really haven’t seen anyone mention any of this #and like it really is entirely possible someone did but like i Need to discuss it

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dearsholmes · 3 months

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Autism movie/show deep dive and my very general thoughts on them!

(everyones different these are my own opinions as an autistic woman please watch for yourself and share any additional thoughts you have on them!)

Music (2021)

Enough said.... had to get this one over with 0/10

Adam (2009)

I found most of these movies to be outdated BUT I actually really appreciate Hugh Dancy's recreation of an autistic character (those who know him as Will in Hannibal would probably also agree). Even though originally I wasn't a fan of the ending I came to appreciate it that he wasn't 'saved' by romance and that it proved he was able to be independent and had great character growth while still respecting himself and his passions. I think it offered a decent insight to the different aspects of autistic joy, passion, while still including the difficult aspects with socializing, navigating relationships, grief, and meltdowns but now being overshadowed by them or 'becoming a problem'. However, I do love space so that could've also been responsible for my love for this movie. 8/10

Heartbreak High (2022)

I absolutely love Chloé Hayden who is autistic herself so her character in the show feels real and more relatable. Pretty much what I said about 'Adam' but to an extreme I think the script and character interactions are such a fantastic and understandable demonstration of what being an autistic women is like (granted everyones experience is different). Cannot wait for the next season! This show is such a great modern day representation and not based in stereotypes like others are 10/10

Big Bang Theory (2007)

I will never not defend this show - I know people tend to hate this because Sheldon is heavily stereotypical but I find him incredibly relatable as I do fall into a lot of these stereotypes myself. Once again everyones experiences are different so I don't understand why people write this show off completely. Love it 10/10

Atypical (2017)

Unfortunately I don't have much to say about this show in regards to his autism because the constant inconsistencies during scenes deserve their own post and were too distracting to focus on anything else. Another thing that upset me about this is that the show is meant to take place in Connecticut yet they filmed in one of the most recognizable aquariums in the west coast. This show probably could've been good if it was just made better/had quality control. The only thing I remember liking was the pros and cons list because I also do that. 4/10

Mozart and the Whale (2005)

I'm going to preface this one specifically that I know everyone's autism presents differently but I almost found her... offensive? I think this is because it was made in 2005 and is just outdated but I felt like a lot of the characters especially hers were more caricatures than characters. Sheldon being stereotypical is one thing but this felt kind of insulting? I'm having a hard time putting it into words. There were moments I liked though - it was a weird back and forth. 5/10

What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)

Other than the mistreatment/beating/abuse I actually am pretty fond of this movie. Once again, outdated. But almost... endearing in a way (minus the mistreatment once again). I hope anyone who has seen it will understand what I feel. I did find the love interest annoying but that is unrelated to this post yet I felt the need to warn you all, I don't like her. 7.5/10

My Name is Khan (2010)

I watched this movie six years ago in school before my diagnosis and I didn't even remember or realize he was autistic but I do remember having generally positive thoughts on this movie ?/10 (someone let me know if its worth a rewatch.

A Brilliant Young Mind (2014) ((also called X+Y))

There is a lot of downtime in this movie so it can be kind of boring but it is honestly one of my comfort/go to movies. Of course its the whole "autistics are math geniuses" thing but the movie itself I think is sweet. It shows his diagnosis, he loses his father, he has almost a fill in father who coaches his math, his mother is really supportive of him but not in a savior kind of way, he experiences going out of the country for a competition, struggles with socializing/overwhelm, romantic interests, and there is another character who is autistic and his struggles are also shown in a relatable way, nothings (in my opinion) is annoyingly over exaggerated like it sometimes can be in movies. 9/10

The Good Doctor (2017)

I never actually finished the show because the person I was watching it with kept making fun of me by relating myself to him. Since then I also haven't seen much of a positive reaction from other people either but please let me know your thoughts on it! ?/10

The Imitation Game (2014)

Alan Turing himself was autistic and so even though it's not a main focus of this movie I still wanted to include it because I love this movie! 9/10

Sherlock Holmes (timeless)

I have to also through him in here, obviously some versions are more autistic coded than others but I'm going to generally say all of them are great autistic representation <3 10/10

Not Dead Yet (2023)

Like in Heartbreak High, Rick Glassman an autistic actor plays an autistic character and I think its another great modern day representation. It obviously isn't the main focus but they honestly do a pretty good job being educational in regard to social situations/difficulties and explain it in a way that people can learn from. 10/10

Bones (2005)

I honestly can't remember if they ever say it but Temperance is 100% autistic and I think this is a very endearing show. Since its not the main focus I don't have much to say other than sharing my recommendation 9/10

Criminal Minds (2005)

I mean... enough said. I love Reid with my whole heart. He is very much the 'autistic genius' again but you can't not love Reid! 10/10

Community (2009)

Abed. Another one that doesn't really need much to be said about it. Abed is great 10/10

Dr Who (timeless) ((quite literally and figuratively))

Now this could be considered a reach or projection but Dr Who... autistic! simple as that 10/10

House (2004)

I had to just throw this one in at the end because its really just another version of 'Holmes' and 'Watson' now as 'House' and 'Wilson'. Sherlock, previously said as autistic means House is also autistic 10/10

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lu-sn · 2 years

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Hi Lu 👋 Do you have any thoughts or insights on why Porsche gave Vegas access to Pete during the club scene with Pete?

anon it is quite possible that i have too many thoughts. i need to have my last working braincell taken away from me so i can chill tf out

ok! so let's lay the scene. you're porsche, and you've watched your closest friend at your very intense job come back from being probably-kidnapped and probably-tortured, probably by a man who betrayed you and your boyfriend horribly and tried to kill you not more than two weeks ago, and your friend cannot talk about it at all, and your friend looks like he's been mauled and also like he'll never be happy again

you also kiiiiind-of-sort-of were a really bad friend back, because said friend walked into this situation to help you and then you forgot about him and oops you also told your boyfriend not to worry about him and now look, you've given PTSD to a perfectly good pete and he'll never be the same

so you, porsche, feel extremely guilty.

the interesting thing about all of this is that we know porsche is a compassionate person. he cares about his friends! it's clearly bothering him that pete is so down! he offers to go fight the people who hurt pete!

and then he puts pete right back into the hands of the lying, cheating man who probably tortured him.

you just... you can't explain this away. no matter how you look at it, it can't be beneficial to pete, given what porsche knows about the situation. arguably if he knew more, he would know even better how vitally important it is to keep pete away.

this is the first real hint we get that porsche is willing to make sacrifices out of the people around him to get what he wants. it's the biggest neon sign so far that the mafia is corrupting him.

but here's why i love it so much — it makes sense. it makes so much sense. porsche has finally understood that he is trapped in some sort of decades-old web woven by korn, and that he cannot trust anyone in the main family to help him figure it out. this is the murder of his parents we're talking about. this is the event that sent his life careening off its path and changed his and his brother's life forever. it is a HUGE deal. porsche deserves to know the truth, and he can tell that the window on that is closing.

is it stupid for him to go to vegas, after everything that happened in ep10? yes. but it's the least stupid option of all, because vegas is the one person who is never on the side of the main family.

so he calls vegas (somehow — don't think too hard about how porsche reached him) and he grits his teeth and he asks for help.

and vegas, mind you, is currently in a hell of his own making. these are quite literally the worst days of his entire life — not that porsche knows that. so of course vegas seizes on the opportunity to ask for the one thing he needs most, which is just to see pete. that's all.

do we think porsche said yes immediately? do we think he hesitated, even for a moment, to think about why vegas wanted to see pete, and what kind of damage that could do to pete? did porsche fear for pete's life at all, especially given that from what he knows of vegas, vegas could be trying to do anything from imprisoning pete again to outright killing him?

but do we think porsche maybe, possibly, connected the dots, though? that he heard vegas asking for pete and thought of pete refusing to talk about vegas and thought "they love each other and they're both hurting"? because that would be a decent reason.

i will be real with you, anon: i don't think he connected the dots. not before he actually sees vegas in person. and maybe there, in the alleyway, he clocks that vegas is emotionally compromised (the way vegas's voice cracks when he asks about pete??? JUST END ME AHHHH). but he still doesn't know anything for sure about pete's feelings. pete hasn't mentioned vegas by name even once.

i want to think he hesitates, when vegas asks over the phone. and then he decides to ignore his hesitation, despite vegas having the worst track record of all time, and tells himself that it'll be ok — that he'll just let vegas see pete once, just a short visit, and he'll stop vegas from doing anything too crazy, and pete will be ok. pete might even need it, he thinks. maybe pete will feel better afterwards.

i don't think he consciously makes the decision to prioritize his needs over pete. i think he's actively remaining in denial about how badly this could go! he's going to go through with it no matter what, and so why would he bother cataloguing all the consequences when they're just going to make him feel worse? instead, he'll make himself feel better by punching vegas, and then telling vegas that vegas better not hurt pete again, and then he'll feel absolved, just a little.

and again, to his credit, i think there's a very good chance he understands how much vegas cares for pete after the alleyway. and maybe that on its own makes it okay that he left vegas alone with pete UNSUPERVISED. but all of his actions up until that point? they're selfish.

pete walked through fire for porsche — and porsche looked pete in the eye, grabbed him by the shoulders, turned him around, and sent him straight back in.

#ofc we are all very grateful to porsche because the vegaspete alleyway breakdown was so important for their relationship #but porsche has NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT #my beloved morally grey protagonist 🥰#it really shocked me on the first watch tbh #you want to think porsche would be better than this!#but he's not #and it fits #and it's delightfully distressing #sigh once again i cannot shut up. anon i hope u enioyed this ♥️#kinnporsche #porsche kittisawasd #pete saengtham #vegas theerapanyakul #mine: asks #long post

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vitanithepure · 11 months

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Hi! I noticed you seem to be a fellow BG3 Gale connoisseur? Can you tell me what made you like him? I am starved for some more insights from people!

I'm so sorry if it's a bother, feel free to ignore me if so! >.<

Omg, asks like this are never a bother! You can write me any time with gaming related things, especially BG3 ones as I am - like so many others - so impatiently waiting for its release. It's safe to say it occupies 99% of my consciousness. 8 more days!

And you are not wrong with your assumption. I do like Gale! He's neat. He's great. He quickly became my favorite blorbo. I'll post it under the cut.

This is a point I should probably apologize, because you probably wanted a brief summary and I'll be giving an essay, but... yeah, I have a lot of thoughts about that man.

Like, look - if I were any kind of sexual I would be sapiosexual. At first glance Larian got me "oh boy, a know-it-all wizard, how original...", BUT I feel like they did manage to make Gale intelligent in a believable way. Why?

Gale knows all the trivia. He read an entire library or two worth of knowledge and probably memorized most of it. He knows his way around with words; it makes him charming and endearing. And yet intelligence is not wisdom and experience, so we learn of his past mistake(s) and how quickly he is willing to jump into next ones.

I mean, come on, willing to make a deal with Raphael? And betting on outwitting him? And his new bio description on the official website? (not sure how that will play out yet, I'm reserving judgment until we get to play it). Peak INT 16 and WIS 11 wizard behavior.

I often find people thinking about Gale as a manipulator, playing nice to get things from us and/or get in our pants (yikes to that last one). He would certainly be capable of that, sure - like i said, he's intelligent and charming enough for that. Do I think he would though? Nah.

I think Gale doesn't need to play nice - he just is. Because at the point of his story (which is straight up told in his bio) we meet him he already learned his lesson. Now Gale needs to deal with his past and is not, understandably, so forward with revealing it.

And I get it. I wouldn't want to spill my life's biggest mistakes after a few days' worth of knowing someone, but Gale doesn't have the luxury of time. So he asks us to put a little trust in him and he later reveals what was the point of it all - when you prove you do trust him.

Another thing people put to question is if he actually tells us the truth. I have nothing here, I do believe he is, but in light of (again...) the new bio I believe Gale might have undergone a minor rewrite and I'm no longer sure if the early access dialogues are up to date with it.

If they will not change then, yes, he is straight up omitting the fact he wanted to slurp up Mystra's godhood, and lying about the reason he got stuck with that orb of his in the first place. And I have no idea what to do with this, yet.

Overall I just think it all makes him a very interesting character and I can't wait to have my heart broken by another wizard with a cat. Because as much as I believe all romances will have a happy ending Larian already said it's a dynamic thing and companions do move on the morality scale during the story.

And l'm just so happy to be along for this ride!

Also, on a more superficial note: I have a weakness for pixel men about my age, and Gale looking at us with unabashed mischief like this:

Just works for me.

#I am always up for talking about this man #thank you so much for the ask!#gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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pharawee · 10 months

Text

I'm thinking of reviving my super random (and spoilery so be warned!) review posts for I Feel You Linger in the Air because I have so much love for this show and I need a place to gather my super random thoughts.

I read the novel back in spring not really expecting much beyond a pleasant read but it's quickly become not only my favourite BL novel but one of my favourite novels in general. Does it need an editor? Yes (but I'm an editor so I'm biased - but tbh I'd rather have these "imperfect" translations out there than not having them at all, and IFYLITA's translator did a really good job). But beyond that it's insightful and sweet with a hint of sadness and loss. It manages to capture the moment perfectly, painting such a clear and nostalgic (but not sugar-coated) picture of the time period(s).

I feel like this is exactly what the series is trying to capture as well. It's in the colour-grading and the lighting and the cinematography and the way both Jom as the main character and Chiang Mai as the backdrop (and I'd say almost a character in its own rigght) are introduced. It's in the mystique and the dread of Jom catching these glimpses of himself and what's to come. It's in the abrupt unravelling of Jom's ordinary life and the pain and loss (and later confusion and anger) he feels at not understanding how and why these things are happening to him - which imo becomes such an important theme later on as Jom gains understanding and acceptance. Because to me IFYLITA isn't just a beautiful love story. It's just as much about Jom (and Yai - but in the novel he's never a POV character until the special chapters, and he's never quite as aware of his past as Jom is, having lived every aspect of it) growing as a person. Not in a way that changes who he is - Jom is a very set and self-aware character who knows what he wants and I really like that about him - but rather in how he perceives those around him and his own feelings.

The novel also has a handful of spectacular and vivid bed scenes so I'm really curious how (and if) they'll approach them.

But on to episode 1.

I love this opening. It's so atmospheric and eerie. We feel just as out of place here as Jom does. And I love how he's the intruder here. This isn't his home, he's watching a very private scene unfold and it's instantly made clear that he's not (yet) wanted. The other Jom is more scared of him than he is in this moment. I also love how he's half in the light, half bathed in shadow, like he's already wandering between worlds. Ah, I love me a good foreshadowing.

And I love how we're then slowly introduced to Jom, to his work, his life, his mannerisms. He lights a scented candle, his flat is full of sketches, drawings and books on architecture. Apart from his work, he lives his life patiently and quietly waiting for Ohm, his boyfriend (who he met at university and who he believes is the love of his life). In his two years in London Ohm has never given him any reason to doubt his commitment, which is why his infidelity is such a heavy blow later on.

We are then introduced to another "character": Chiang Mai - as it is today with its busy streets and markets and landmarks. Old trees lining the waterways and what remains of the walled city itself. In the novel, Jom uses his knowledge about Chiang Mai to pinpoint where he is in the past and how things have changed. As an architect interested in art and culture he also makes a lot of observations about historical buildings and society - which is what makes the novel so special to me. You'd probably need a huge budget to visualise this on a similar scale in the series but they tried (and succeeded imo) with the market scene, and Khun Yai's house will soon become the visual focal point of the series anyway.

A house, which Jom specifically has been asked to restore by the owner even though he's only a few years out of uni.

And as with Jom's dreams, Jom already has a connection to the house. He's been seen by the workers when he wasn't there. He instinctively knows which key to use for the chest the workers found in one of the rooms. The chest contains several sketches that to Jom seem remarkable because they don't really fit the time period.

Hm, I wonder who drew those. 🙃

Of course, soon enough everything goes to shit.

And it hits even harder because Ohm's so much more callous and cruel than in the novel. In the novel, Jom almost becomes a bit of an afterthought, a side character, an inconsequential affair (and I suppose he's the affair here too) on Ohm's path to happiness. But here his actions toward Jom seem quite deliberate and careless. And his fiancée Kaimook is painted as just plain evil. It's like Ohm and her don't even love each other (when in the novel they do - with all the tragedy that entails).

I guess they really wanted to drive home how quickly Jom's life falls apart. And, damn, his speech about waiting for two years and somehow NOT becoming unfaithful was incredibly strong. Then again, he was the one waiting, holding his breath, essentially stopping his life to stay in Chiang Mai until Ohm returned. He's blameless, of course, but that's not exactly healthy either.

The attempted SA isn't in the novel at all. I get why they included it. It's very difficult to watch but it drives its point home. Content warnings would be appreciated though.

Then there's this. Commander Yai. I screamed. Here I was wondering if he'd make an appearance at all (and hoping they'd maybe end the series with a glimpse of him) but they just put him front and center.

The moustache is a necessity, I'm telling you. It wouldn't be Commander Yai without the moustache. Also, this is a fake moustache in an underwater kissing scene. All things considered this is amazing make-up. Embrace the moustache. Commander Yai is worth it, I promise!

Unfortunately, Commander Yai's early appearance might also mean that there won't be a second part of the series planned. They might just allude to Yai's past life without going into much detail - which I totally get. Another season about the Lanna period would probably be a logistical and budgeting nightmare. But still. Gimme!! 😭

Anyway, I love how Jom is immediately just so at ease with him. Granted, he's drunk, grieving and drowning but kissing a handsome, moustached dude during his near-death/time travel experience feels like the most normal thing ever. And I love how it's Commander Yai who saves him. The shot of him uplifting Jom was so beautifully filmed.

Good thing he's found by Ming my beloved and not a dozen angry bare-chested Northerners who promptly punch his lights out lol

And this is one of the moments where I wish I was (more, much much more) fluent in Thai so I understood more of the differences between Jom's Central Thai and everyone else's (old-fashioned) Northern Thai. I do understand there's a difference, and I do understand that they're using different vocabulary and some different grammar but that's about it.

Where is Jom's phone, though? He still had it in the novel and it's an important plot point later on.

I love Jom's brush with the old market. You browse, you buy.

Also Jom sitting down in a secluded spot and just devouring the food that was given to him. I don't know why but the scene really resonated with me. Maybe because it was as out of place as Jom must feel. Or maybe because it was so human - such a mundane thing to do after everything that's happened. Almost like the past is already much more soothing than the present that Jom has left behind.

I'm faceblind but that's supposed to be Ohm (in a past life), right?

Not Jom having an existential crisis over Ming namedropping his future father-in-law (and Ming pitying him in the background. He might be a bit strange, Ming, but don't even pretend you haven't already adopted him into your family).

Finally we meet the mystery man from Jom's dreams (sans moustache this time), and he looks just as suprised to see a familiar face as Jom is (albeit for very different reasons).

I love that they included the jasmine with the lantom flowers. Khun Yai only drinks jasmine-scented water so they're as much Jom and his flowers as the lantoms (and their meaning isn't as bittersweet either).

And then there's the underwater scene(s) which are just so imcredibly well done. So intimate and soft, and probably the only time Yai really looks as young as he's supposed to be.

So yeah, this series is so far exceeding all my expectations and I'm so glad we'll be getting twelve 1h+ episodes (and a special? And a second season? Please? 🥺) of this beautiful, beautiful show.

#jane watches stuff #i feel you linger in the air #i feel you linger in the air the series #ifylita #ifylita meta #spoilers #ifylita spoilers #this got a lot longer and more random than expected ehhhhh #never mind me i just need to dump all my feelings for this series somewhere #also #this has spoilers for the novel so if you want to watch this series spoiler-free please skip this post

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thelunarfairy · 8 months

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Omg I love your analysis they're THE BEST thing to read in freetime- like- they give such an insight to the story, it's always interesting!

Also can I just talk about Nene?!?! SHES SO COOL WJSJSJ ESPECIALLY IN THE RECENT CHAPTERS-

I've never been the type to hate characters or people unnecessarily. If I do dislike them, there's some reason or its just their vibe or attitude. The thing is I've never faced that with Nene. She has that childish type of personality with a sense of maturity we can say? Idk how to explain that- but she's so imaginative, and it makes me so sad how boys shoot her down because of her legs- SHES LEGIT SO PRETTY WHY- I also read that Nene analysis of yours as to why she's still being dreamy about boys when she was kissed by Hanako. Always makes me sad- MY GIRL DESERVES THE BEST-

The best thing about Nene is that she's determined and brave. Once she sets her mind on doing something, she actually manages to do it. Take that one panel for example with Nene and tsukasa, where she's getting chased by him and she swiftly ducks while that one thing hits him in the face. I always thought that was such a cool move. And I'm always so proud of seeing her go through character development. Who would believe that the Nene in the first chapter and the Nene in the recent chapters are the same- it's not even the personality change, it's the maturity level. I'm always screaming things like "SHES SO COOL SHES SUCH A GIRLBOSS" because she's IS one.

Man I'm one of hell of a Nene supporter, she's a bit naive but she's still mature enough. Makes me feel like we don't have the exact idea of what she feels most of the times. My girl has suffered in her own way.

I also really wanna know about her background! I'm pretty sure we haven't talked much about her parents right? I would love to see them sometime in the chapters since we already got mother reveal of kou, hanako and Mitsuba.

Awww thank you for your kindness ♡

I love it when you all say you like the posts hahaha because I love making them :3

How excited are you to talk about Nene! I liked it!

Hahaha I'm not the type to hate characters either, I like to appreciate every detail of their personality, even if they are terrible. Don't get me wrong, but I like to see whether a character is well constructed or not, regardless of whether he is a villain or a "hero", I will speak in these words so as not to prolong it.

Personally, I always thought that Yashiro was very wronged. I've seen many people saying that they don't feel affection for her because of the way she treats Hanako, in short, because she doesn't reciprocate Hanako's feelings in the same way or because she still feels attracted to other boys.

What happens is that Hanako has become the public's favorite, Nene is left out next to him, people will always care about him first. Damn, Nene was kissed by Tsukasa without her consent! Who did people focus on first?

Hanako, the poor boy crying inconsolably because his little brother kissed and kidnapped the girl he likes, but what about Yashiro? She was the one who was forcibly kissed, she was the one who was kidnapped. Baby Nene clearly shows how unhappy she is but no one seems to care!

"Look Yashiro is so annoying as a baby, Tsukasa is putting up with so much!"

But how did they want her to react???? She was kissed by force, she was kidnapped, she was forced to "play" with Tsukasa with the threat that he would rip off her arm (we don't know if he meant it literally because Tsukasa is Tsukasa, right) she had a part of her life stolen and is still being forced to remove the yorishiros even though she knows that if she does so she will die.

And people still expect her to react well to this? Can you understand how wronged Yashiro is? I really like the characters but I like to be fair to everyone, EVERYONE.

Yashiro has a very strong comedic side, so many bad things that happen to her end up going that way, people find it funny or think she is doing something wrong and everything bad that happens to her is because she deserves it. This is complicated, because it shows how people are failing to understand how she is developing in the story.

I'm glad you brought up Yashiro, because you were literally the first person who asked about her without having anything to do with Hanako. She is one of the protagonists and almost no one sees the potential she has. Yashiro has all these qualities you mentioned.

Yashiro is brave and protective, how many times have you seen her protecting Hanako?

She is selfless and Hanako knows that, he hid that he was going to sacrifice Aoi because he knew she would be against it, she went there not only to find Hanako, but also so that her best friend would stay alive. Yashiro took the blame in Hanako's place, since this was all his idea.

As well-intentioned as he was with Nene, it wasn't the right way. And since Hanako was unable to fulfill Nene's wish of prolonging her own life, she gives herself up for good, even though she doesn't really want to die. This arc in number 6 shows how selfless Yashiro is, she didn't have a grudge against Aoi when she threw her into that pit, she didn't tell Hanako that Sumire was a yorishiro because she knew he was going to tell her to remove it, she asked Hanako letting Sumire leave the village with them so she could have a new life, she refused until the end to remove Sumire's seal, do I need to list more than that?

Sumire herself says that Yashiro is too good to be able to remove the seal. Sakura had to show her what happened because Nene didn't remove the seal and Nene deeply regretted it because she didn't know it would end like this.

But people are worried because Yashiro thinks other boys are cute….

The girl went to a ghost as a last solution to find a handsome boyfriend to PROVE to the other guys who rejected her that she is also attractive. Her self-esteem is low, there is always someone making fun of her legs that she suffers so much and is insecure about, she is not envious of Aoi, even though her best friend is so beautiful and almost all the guys are interested in her.

Just put yourself in her shoes, can you imagine having to go and beg a supernatural person to have a boyfriend? She's always trying to learn things that boys like just so they'll look at her. Yashiro has his own problems, his own complexes and pains. I think it's sad that people haven't realized this.

She's developing, she's in love for the first time in her life, and her first love is a ghost boy who won't be able to offer her what a human can. But she insisted, didn't she? She is learning that looks are not everything, that there are many boys out there who think she is beautiful but she doesn't care because she wants to prove to people that even though she has those legs, she is still attractive, the way she finds to do that is thus.

Of course Yashiro has her bad sides, and that's a good thing. What kind of character would she be if she were perfect? The important thing is not for the character to be good all the time, but rather to make a lot of mistakes and learn from those mistakes. This is how a well-constructed character works. I see her development, she said she wouldn't get involved with someone who wasn't her type, but look who she's in love with. And now she takes over. You understand?

We see Yashiro's weaknesses all the time, and we're seeing her develop too. I think the main problem for people not to notice this is precisely the "comic" factor, you see, when they talk about Hanako's past, we have that air of seriousness, of sadness, that heavy air.

When it comes to talking about how Yashiro feels about boys, self-esteem, her legs, or how she feels about having to change to attract boys or something like that, it always has that "comical" air.

Look, she hates being called radish legs, let's call her that, it's funny. Have you ever imagined if people spent the whole time making jokes about the characteristic that you are most insecure about yourself?

It's funny when it's with others? But imagine if they made fun of Hanako or judged him all the time for killing his brother?

It wouldn't be nice, would it?

People get angry because Yashiro says Hanako isn't her type or when she comically refuses his advances, and they still get angry because poor Hanako can't be rejected by her.

Did you see the difference?

Hanako can make fun of Yashiro, call her a radish, everyone laughs, but Nene can't refuse Hanako's flirtations, because she doesn't deserve the love he offers her. Hahaha it's really funny when you clearly see who people's favorite is. That's because I didn't even mention him wanting to imprison her in a false world, or sacrifice her best friend… It doesn't matter, they will always find justifications for Hanako's actions.

Look, I love Hanako a lot, but we have to face the reality of the facts, imagine this in the real world. The boy you like wants to kill your best friend to save you. Do you understand how dangerous this is? People forget that Hanako is a dangerously charismatic boy, his attitudes send off a very high red alert, what he does is not justifiable, as he himself says! He knows this, the public has to understand it too!

Hanako has good intentions, he wants to save the girl he loves, but he goes about it the wrong way!!!

Saving someone's life by killing another???? Is this right?

But, to be completely fair, what bothers me most about Yashiro is that she still remains "friends" with Teru. It doesn't make sense after everything that has happened in these recent events. At this point I hope she wakes up and stops letting him hang around, and of course, stops flirting with him too, although Yashiro does this to make Hanako jealous, did you notice that? I hope so haha

Anyway, I thought the answer would be shorter hahaha but I was really excited to finally have a question about Yashiro! \O/

Yes! I'm curious to know about her family, she is a Kannagi and has unique powers, she can remove seals and purify. It means we'll learn more about her past in the future! I agree with you, I also really like Yashiro, one of the female characters that I find most fun.

I hope people give her more chances. She is a good girl who has her flaws but also her own qualities, like anyone else in the world hahah

I hope you liked it! Thanks for the ask! ♡

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avaisnerdytoo · 16 days

Text

RICK AND MORTY SEASON 7 FINALE

*I TYPED THIS WHEN IT CAME OUT AND NEVER POSTED IT CAUSE PERFECTIONISM IM SORRY BUT IT'S KINDA COOL ALTHOUGH ITS BEEN LOW KEY SAID ALREADY

Read Chapter Titles for Easy navigation:

There is a lot to unpack, I want to cover some character insights, some connections to philosophical concepts I found neat, and some implications I feel the show gives regarding future seasons!

I'll write a lot, so I recommend reading the chapter titles to see if something catches your eye, I understand why you may be less interested in reading a whole thing.

Let's jump in.

BRIEF INTRODUCTION:

This has the foundations to be one of my favorite episodes they have ever made. It is like a therapy session made an episode.

I feel this single-handedly pays for the lack of Morty we saw in other sections of the season.

I think even with most of it being a simulation, the episode still has a lot to say about other characters too. Even if it was all through Morty.

Nevertheless I won't drop the fact that this is an episode of Morty, where his mind, his feelings, and his unconscious are the narrators, which means that the way it speaks of Rick may not be quite accurate, but I'll get there*

Cause I do think the writers are still consistent with Rick for a good portion*

MORTY'S DEFENSIVE LAYERS: short chapter

Dr. Wong once pointed out that the whole Smith family uses rationality to avoid emotion (a fact I sometimes really identify with btw), and this is best shown here, where the layers of Morty's ability to resist the simulation and to place protective barriers over what he feels, is a lot stronger than we realize.

You coooould argue that's simply the way the hole works, but I personally interpreted it as more...

I think we are being told that Morty has also learned (if not mastered) the ability to build the same protective walls as the rest of the family, however his ability to defeat the simulation is also not to be understated, especially if only like 3 people have survived it in years.

RICK AND DIANE (WHAT IS A REAL DIANE LIKE?): Short to Medium Chapter*

It is made clear that this representation of their relationship is not to be taken at face value, but I somewhat doubt the writers are interested in truly making Diane a part of the show. I hope I am proven wrong, but if I assume this is one of the very few instances of her we will see, then I am willing to take a leap and assume some of what we saw, could make sense within their relationship.

Diane was shown as fun, decisive, adventurous and challenging, to me, she showed a lot of Summer traits, which fits right in line with Rick's observations of her.

On the opposite end, I do think there is a big layer of Morty's own bias regarding how he'd assume someone capable of keeping up with Rick's style of character should be, and with the rest of the episode in mind, it is of no surprise he followed them across the main montage.

I feel Diane was an enabler to Rick, I doubt young Rick could be described as pathetic though, more like responsible. And Diane would probably be as well, but I do see a scenario where someone that grabs Rick's attention and respect has the resourcefulness of Summer and the courage to jump into action.

MORTY IS ALONE ALONE, A-FREAKING-LONE + an observation for Evil Morty* Long Chapter*

We know this already of course, Morty is a kid neglected by his parents pretty much, not out of malice but out of immaturity and naivety. The bond between Summer and Morty is good, and has improved, but I do not think there is a world (nor there should be), where Summer should take care of Morty more than how a sister can. (In another dimension bro would be a strong candidate to get Fairly Odd Parents)

This evidently leaves Rick as the only figure in his life with any room to provide protection, love, advice and all the things adults should do.

Which is a very shitty deal... Because Rick is far from equipped at any of these.

His experience, even in the crazy sci-fi multiverse he lives in feels very real, I consider Morty as the most complex character, and he was designed from the start to be the closest thing we -as the audience - can have to a surrogate.

It hurts to see him so adrift, of realizing day by day that there are a lot of challenges he will have to conquer alone, we know he can, but it doesn't mean it is nice to have to do so. (I may be half projecting here though cause I big time identified with him here).

It is clear Morty is really holding back to the scary world out there, he wants Rick to protect him, he wants to be looked after, he wants what we all do, to be loved and heard. Acceptance is necessary for growth, and at this moment, it is clear Morty believes no one will be there for him. (Hopefully that is proven wrong but more of that below).

I think I may now understand what Evil Morty argued when he sympathized with Rick over achieving his goal of ending Rick Prime, and still feeling unsatisfied. (that's a theory*).

MORTY'S PERCEPTION OF RICK

+ the struggles of adapting to a changing family member or friend

+ will it have an impact on the next Season?

Long chapter

Actions speak louder than words, but words matter too, and when those necessary actions come sparingly, expecting anything from the person who's bringing you conflict becomes harder.

That's the best way I can describe how Morty feels about Rick, I'm sure he values that time in Season 2 when Rick sacrificed himself for him, but there are also hundreds of variations of that event where Rick belittled Morty, and that has pretty much been the pattern since then, there are objectively worse things Rick has done than good ones...

It's unfortunate this is all Morty has, he clearly genuinely loves Rick, but I feel this episode, if followed upon through the Canon is a big eye opening for Morty.

This whole episode was a therapy session, like any process, it has to be explored through analysis, brought to the conscious mind, and peeled slowly across the stages of grief...

...

Actually, this episode was more like an Ayahuasca Trip, because it surfaced key aspects of Morty's psyche and feelings, but it only did that, unlike therapy which would keep exploring them to find how to coexist/diffuse.

There is soooo much left on the table, and the worst part is that I think this realization is incompatible with who Rick is becoming, which is reallyyyy unfortunate timing.

But completely understandable, and arguably real, on Morty's part, I feel they are being set up to be on distinct emotional paths which WILL require Rick to take more direct action.

If the idea that your closest family member can shatter the illusion of reality by saying that which you want to hear... Fuuuuck

If you ever watched Lucifer (the TV Show) there's a similar moment there that reminds me to this 🤔

SIMULATION THEORY MADE FUNNY, BUT STILL VEEEERY REAL

not character exploration just a comment on the episode

As a small comment one of my favorite tropes explored in the episode is the whole looped, "Are we out of the hole yet?", because that is the very foundation of the paradox of simulation theory, they technically explored it back in Season one, but the weight of it felt more significant here.

If you're told you live in a simulation, and then given the option to escape, all Matrix style, you don't become Neo, you instead become eternally unaware of when you're in the real world, you aren't shown the truth, it shatters your perceptions completely.

It's not that kind of show of course, but imagine the weight of experiencing, in this case, growing up, going to college, possibly losing a family member (with the worrying lack of Jerry in those scenes), getting a job, forming a life that is ripped away...

I love the running gag at this point of this occurring... The Roy Game, The Vat Of Acid Episode, The Beth and Space Beth Lesbian Simulator (my fav), and now this.

Only this one is given that weight though, even Morty begins to wonder whether he was just outright born there...

---

NO WAY I WAS DONE ALL THIS TIME

I'm sorry I didn't post this when I typed it, I had more ideas and I wanted more photos but I maxed out what I could use and my perfectionism got the better of me.

Hope there is still something here for you all 🥺🥺🥺😖

#Ava Speaks on Rick and Morty #rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #morty smith

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eliziarts · 1 year

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It really gets me how you can't say shit about Helluva Boss (or Hazbin Hotel for that matter) to actually critique without fans getting buthurt, and the only people agreeing with you people who just hate Vivzipop (for the record i dont lol). But here are my gripes that I wish people were actually talking about (btw I really *want* to love Helluva Boss and none of this is mean-spirited, just things I've noticed that I wish the team would fix, or I believe are beyond fixing):

1. The very confused tone. I know a lot of people deflect any criticism from the show by saying 'oh but it's a comedy you shouldn't take it too seriously'. Here's the thing- it's literally taking itself too seriously. There's a balance that a show can have between dark elements and humor, but Helluva Boss consistently tries to tackle very, VERY heavy subjects. This combined with the Brandon Rodgers-essque d!ck joke comedy doesn't.. work. At least not in the way they're attempting. I think the most egregious example of this is the scene in the latest episode when Moxie's dad is literally threatening to kill him if he doesn't follow through with an arranged marriage... immeadiatly followed by Moxie walking though a hall of wall d!ldos. It kind of says, 'hey, we were taking this really seriously 2 seconds ago, but jk actually now you should laugh!'

Juxtaposition doesn't work if it actively confuses its audience on what to feel. I'm not sure how much influence Vivzie and Brandon have on the outcome of the show vs the rest of the writing team, but it seems like Brandon's humor and Vivzie's tendency to write melodramatic soap opera scenes just aren't really meshing together quite right. I wish it had more similar pacing and tone shifts that HH had, because it felt more sudden in a purposeful way, rather than 'we're too lazy to find a good transition between these two scenes.'

2. Why does Vivziepop never write interesting female characters? I know this is talked about a bit more, but it's growing increasingly prevalent in Helluva Boss. We still haven't gotten an episode focused on any of the female leads that's actually about *them*.

Millie is practically nonexistent without her relationship to Moxie. Even the episode where we meet her family, it doesn't give us any insight about her. Every time she goes feral(tm) it's either to save her husband or it's part of a group fight. The only backstory we got for Loona was there to service Blitzo's character, and show us *his* reaction. The only things we've seen with Octavia were put there to help us learn more about Stolas. Even in the scene where they only had Loona and Octavia on the screen, it didn't feel like it was about them at all. It didn't feel like the scene existed to show us them bonding about their shitty dads. It felt like the scene was there to once again ask the audience to give Blitzo and Stolas pity points. Which- brings me to my next problem.

3. Its justifications of abuse. I know they're in hell. Most of them should be shitty people, and they are! But I wish the story would stop trying to pretend they're not. Helluva Boss keeps doing this thing where it draws a line between 'good' abuse and 'bad' abuse. And this kind of completely changed Stolas and Blitzo's relationship. Ik some people may like this change but I personally don't.

Earlier on, we were made to believe Stolas kind of fucked up by cheating on his wife. Not only did this affect Stella (tho ofc we later learn it's due to image reasons) but his daughter as well. It's just generally an uncomfortable and tricky situation. And I liked it! It was interesting and had levels of nuance. However, now that we know that he was basically being abused by Stella this entire time, and met Blitzo when they were kids (which is a WHOLE OTHER UNCOMFORTABLE CAN OF WORMS LMAO) the audience no longer feels like Stolas did anything wrong. Now his actions feel justified.

As much as I loved his confrontational scene with Stella the first time I watched it, as I know many people did, I also know that it kind of ruined any sense of nuance that whole situation had. Now, Stolas suddenly has been absolved from any previously implied mistakes. And, Stella is portrayed as this 1 dimensional cruel monster.

Which brings me to the point of abuse in this show. It's a very prevalent theme, and it's a heavy one for a show branded as a sit-com to portray (hard, but not impossible). But it fails on the end that it doesn't stay consistent in its condemnation of it. Every time a character does something 'bad', as soon as we find out there is a reason for this bad behavior, the show suddenly makes it seem like we should feel bad for them and that their actions are justified because they're a broken person. See: the narrative around Stolas' affair suddenly being changed as soon as we find out he was being abused by Stella.

Inconsistent emotional consequences in writing is lazy for sure. But the real problem is when it gets to the abuse side of things, it can actually become harmful. It's implied that Blitzo had an emotionally abusive relationship with Verosika. But ohh we know he had a fucked up childhood and has fear of forming emotional bonds so! Geuss it's okay! But when it comes to Stella, she's just downright mean, 1 dimensional, and literally says she's doing things for no reason other than to make Stolas suffer.

It's important to note that every single time a character gets a *reason* for their assholery, it becomes a *justification* in the way the show frames it. But whenever a character doesn't have a reason for being as asshole, like Stella (at least not one that's shown), that's where the show then draws the line.

This is harmful! Hate to break it to you but the bulk of abusive people out there were abused themselves. They have multitudes of reasons for why they are the way they are. But that doesn't excuse their actions! And I really hate that this is the standard of framing Helluva Boss has set up for their show because now, no matter how bad a character's actions are, they can slap on a sad backstory and suddenly make that character a sympathetic one.

Yeah but anyways idk. If you read all of that I thank you for taking ur time to listen to my 2 cents. The last episode I really enjoyed was the Ozzie's one and I'm just kinda bummed at a lot of this stuff I mentioned.

#helluva boss #hot take #helluva boss blitzo #stolas helluva boss #stolitz #vivzie why cant you spend more time on your female chrs im begging you #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism

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katyspersonal · 7 months

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your mutual friend group is terrifying and i love it

PFFFFTTTTtttTttTT I am glad to hear this, anon xD Honestly my random morbid cannibalism jokes is not even our final form, usually it goes more like:

nobody:

me, hyperexcited: GUYYYS GUYS I just realised something after playing BLORBOrne for 50th time, I am such a dumbass ahaha! Turns out that there is a very hard to see detail in the data of Boris (datamined by Russian hackers: ( x ))! The shade of his right eye is kinda white-ish which lines up with theme of losing eye color upon becoming a furry, so despite boasting about his grip he has been secretly reading furry pr0n comics more than he should have! (tagged: #blorborne #boris the cocksucker #blorborne observation #as usual I notice this kind of shit too late AAAAAAAAA #listen it is 5 AM don't @ me)

someone: Katy pls I don't even know who Boris IS 😭

me: What do you mean, he is an easy to miss summon in Horse-Plinked Village!!! By the way, there is a bunch of lore that can be concluded from his items that he never uses but they are in the game files, even though he doesn't have any dialogue!

someone: 😭😭😭

my friends FANDOMette, Wow and Chicken: *reblogging* (tagged: #this is sooooo interesting #really nice observation I never thought about that #I am NOT normal about this #blorborne #boris the cocksucker #nice to finally see more ideas about boris)

fareehaandtheitalians: Girl this is incredible I HAVE NO WORDS, I feel like I am gaining Insight points when I am reading your posts

Jara that reads like 'jara' and not like 'yara' lol: *reblogging* (tagged: #yeah nobody is really safe from corruption in this setting #just like in real life xd #no wonder that I like this game so much because it is just as hopeless as reality #xd #bloorborne)

Chicken: *reblogging from Jara that reads like 'jara'* *screenshot of the tags* GIRL ARE YOU OK 💀💀💀

me: *reblogging from Chicken* NO ONE WITH AT LEAST A BASIC AMOUNT OF BRAINCELLS CAN FEEL OK IT IS NO ONE'S FAULT THAT YOU THINK LIFE IS ANYTHING BUT FARM OF SUFFERING

me and Chicken: *start fighting in the reblogs with progressively ridiculous points about meaning of life and idiotic memes*

fareehaandtheitalians: *already started doodling a meme based on this, as if to immortalize it in a tapestry*

Boom: *reblogging the showdown at its final point when me and Chicken already obliterated one another into a bloody mess* (tagged: #ehehe #stay silly you two!)

other Elden Twink mutuals: *eat popcorn*

Comic: *reblogging* WHY CAN'T YOU TWO BE LEFT WITHOUT BEING WATCHED FOR EVEN ONE DAY?!

Jara that reads like 'jara': Lol I made everything become cursed again xd

Chicken: No, Jara (reads like 'jara'), it is not your fault! You see, none of this would have happened if SOMEONE finally admitted that they are simping for [insert a character that either has the worst haircut in the setting or is so generic-looking that it actually embarrasses me]

robertzombie: *reblogging* She WHAT? People in this fandom have the worst taste I swear

me: You see FRIEND, we will know who ACTUALLY has a bad "taste" when I try a meal out of certain "bird" if you see what I mean.....

Fandomette: KATY NO, DON'T EAT YOUR FRIENDS... You wanted to eat Mewmecolash or something stop 😭

me: WHY ABSOLUTELY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS SO DEADSET ON OUTING MY SECRETS FOR RANDOM PEOPLE TO READ?????? (tagged: #lmao as if anyone is going to read us after shit like this)

Chicken: THIS IS REVENGE FOR YOU MOCKING MY SON SURPHERROTH MWAHAHAHAHA

me: I AM ENDING THIS POINTLESS FIGHT HERE BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU PUNKS I HAVE SOME REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO *spends the rest of the day napping or watching cursed Elden Twink challenges letsplays*

Wow: *messaging me in Discord* Dammit what was THAT hahaha

me: Thank you for NOT having my back as usual, well, at least you are good for finishing a dumb post with lol

#LOL!!!!!!!!!!#i am glad!#ask replies #mutuals #no context #shitposting #lore council #okay sorry I won't do it again xddddd

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amethystina · 5 months

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I was casually rereading whtd, as one does, and reading the comments (because i love the extra insight you give about the information that we're limited to in Ga On's pov) when i stumbled upon this comment: "… sort everything out? (and no one dies along the way, hopefully) He'll be very happy for them." about lawyer Ko and that in combination with the "minor character death tag" has made me Extremele worried about him. (plus you have also said that the kidnapping tag is not the one we should be worried about!!) I know you probably can't say anything about this because of spoilers, but know that it has been noted!!

Also kind of want a scene wherein lawyer Ko, Yo Han and Ga On are all together. Their dynamic would be so exquisite!! (obviously no pressure to actually write this, just a thought)

Anyway, whtd remains so good even after already having read and reread it in its entirety at least 5 times (and some scenes/chapters much more than that) (my ao3 history says i've visited whtd 200 times… so uh. yeah. i'm normal). I love slow burn so much (to the point where most romance book leave me disappointed bc they MCs get together like 100 pages in), i just love reading/watching the build up of a relationship and you write it so well!

I guess i just wanted to thank you for writing! I hope you're doing well <3

I'm usually very careful not to spoil what's going to happen in future chapters but I'll make an exception this time and flat-out say that you don't have to worry — Lawyer Ko is not going to die. I would literally never forgive myself if I killed him xD Not to mention that you all would probably come for my head if I did. He's just too amazing to be killed off!

So, rest assured, he's not going to die :)

And there will be at least one scene with Ga On, Yo Han, and Lawyer Ko in the same room unless my plans change dramatically. Which they rarely do, but "rarely" isn't the same as "never" so we'll see. Truth be told, though, I'll probably try really hard to keep it because I totally agree — the dynamic would be SPECTACULAR. So yeah. Stay tuned for that, I guess? ;)

You've definitely read Who Holds the Devil more times than I have x'D At least in its entirety. I mean, I reread the chapters at least twice (often three or four times) but I rarely start from the beginning and read it all the way through. I did at the end of my long break last year to get back into the swing of it, but it's difficult to find the time for that since I always have to focus on the next chapter. Which is a bit stressful at times, I will admit, since it puts more pressure on me to remember things at the top of my head (or at least know where to look if I want to check any details) but I'm lucky enough to be blessed with a really good memory, so that helps.

Anyway, I'm so glad you're enjoying it 💜 I honestly didn't plan for the slow burn to be quite this slow when I started the fic, but I can't say I have any regrets. Much like you, I just enjoy it too much ;) There's something so incredibly satisfying about delving this deep into Ga On and Yo Han's feelings and slowly developing relationship. And I guess that's also why I can't help throwing out tidbits of information in the comments, since there's usually so, so much happening within this story that you readers don't see (especially within Yo Han's head).

And I'm still not sure how to handle the knowledge that some people read the comments specifically to find those tidbits. Like, I don't mind you doing so! Go right ahead! They're public and all that. But it kind of blows my mind that some of you are so interested in what I'm writing that you'll do that. It feels a bit surreal to me, but in a good way? Like I'm an ACTUAL writer or something xD

Anyway, thank you so much for this kind and supportive message 💜 I definitely needed it right now because things honestly aren't all that great. Partly because of overall exhaustion and restlessness — mostly due to work — but even more so since it's now been a month since I posted a chapter and the requests for me to please update soon are starting to come in. I swear, it happens like clockwork every time I don't post within a month. And, what makes it worse, is that it's often from people I don't see comments from when I actually DO upload more frequently. As in, they don't comment on the fic itself, only when they think I don't update fast enough. Which is pretty disheartening, not going to lie.

Tragically enough, once the month mark passes, I have to start bracing myself whenever I get a comment or ask because there's now a 50/50 chance that it'll be someone asking me to update soon. They usually try to be nice about it, but it kind of always fails.

So, again, thank you for this. Because while I know that I should take my time and update on my own schedule, it's not always easy to remember that when people start asking me why it's taking so long. This was a nice change of pace and I'm very grateful for your kindness. Thank you 💜

#Amethystina Replies #Anonymous #... well that turned into a bit of a bummer #Sorry about that #I think I'm just a bit moody in general tonight #I actually have 8k written on the next chapter #But as usual I don't know exactly how long it'll end up being #So that's not saying much #I also admit that I'm kind of dragging my feet a little #Because it's another chapter that's very exhausting to write #And since I'm already exhausted it's difficult to find the energy to write #I'm not one of those who need motivation since I can push through most types of writer's block #But I DO need to be able to string sentences together #And I can't guarantee that in my current state

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phaerlax · 6 months

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you as the WolfBoyGuy and me as someone who has just recently seen the puppy light, do you have any tips or what you'd consider Required Reading to get a good grip on writing wolf boys? moreso karu than garu just because i personally have a hard time writing dudes with as much bluster and "doesn't tend to default to conventionally agreed on niceties". i have (admittedly mild) torments I'd like to put him through >_>

Anon is asking me about blorbo... I have been training for this for so long... behold now the ramblings of a man possessed by two wolves. I'll talk a bit about how I approach writing Karu and then include some curated recs.

It took me some time to really get going on wolfboy fics; I also found it challenging to handle Karu's characterization. Two big reasons why:

Tsunderes are just difficult to do if you're grounded in realism. It's a very 'anime' archetype and people don't behave quite like that. This makes it harder to naturally reach for reasonable/appropriate responses when putting the character in situations. The big want/think/say/do splits can also complicate straightforward scenarios (e.g. the character wants something and does what he needs to do in order to get it. This path is often closed to the tsundere).

The game gives little insight into Karu's inner world. NU: Carnival is very dialogue-heavy in its narrative. When we do get introspection, it's often Eiden-focused. This means we basically never get to see the thought process that leads Karu to act this way or that, except in the rare instances in which he talks to himself (like in some H scenes when he goes "ugh it feels so good but-").

The style that I ended up developing for my angry wolf boy writings follows these principles:

Keep him silly. This is because I fundamentally see Karu as a comical character. Yeah, his personality can be traced back to traumas and there's a lot of interesting stuff to explore in that regard, but I am not personally interested in that tbh. The reason I love him is the wacky nonsense and ridiculous behavior that we see in the game. It was at first sight for me. I didn't need depth and I still don't XD Any advice and references I provide are skewed by that. I have a preference for almost never taking him seriously.

Mind his 'narrativization' tendencies. Karu is comically very enamored by the idea/narrative that he's a mighty warrior with many great skills who will conquer humanity and who should be respected and served. On some level, he knows this isn't entirely true, so he will sometimes (try to) avoid situations that would bring attention to his shortcomings. But most often he's trying to prove himself and get others to share his narrative. When something or someone reinforces the narrative, he gets proud, pleased or happy-flustered. When something or someone goes against the narrative, he gets annoyed and angry-flustered. He is very good at ignoring reality, however. Even though he'll seemingly take exception to every little slight, he moves on very quickly and pretends nothing happened. And though he's stubborn, he's also willing to surrender, cut his losses and 'try another day' when he's foiled.

Mix his narrativization with the narration a lot. This kind of free indirect discourse is just my style in general, but with Karu I find myself using it more intensely, to such an extent that the narration can get quite dialogue-like in how it expresses his thoughts. When I want to portray a 'tsundere stumble' moment, I sometimes make the narration interrupt itself as Karu consciously aborts a line of thinking that would lead him to unacceptable conclusions.

Let him just be rude for no reason and with little consequence. Karu's default way of addressing and dealing with people (other than Kuya) is rudeness. At best, he attempts some form of condescension in which the reason he's doing something 'nice' is because you're so weak and he's so awesome or whatever. Most characters seem to simply not mind his behavior and, again, it's usually played for laughs anyway.

Bibliography of Karu Studies

Keep in mind that many Karu fics are kuyaru, and Karu in kuyaru is quite different from the core of the character, since he's uniquely eager to please Kuya. Still, even kuyarus can have some nice insight.

who let the dogs out has a lot of juicy Karu inner conflict, and it even explores the ways in which such hangups make him outwardly grumpier. Due to kuyaru, it ultimately leads him to a place of submission, but his initial thoughts are very in-character.

Baser Instincts is a kuyaru in which Kuya gets to see the pups in a new light, because they help him in a difficult situation. It's another great source of inspiration for Karu struggling to express his feelings.

Bow Down! explores how he might react to Eiden letting him top, in a very true-to-character way.

Lonely at the Top is Karu/Dante, which means you get to see Karu at his prickliest and most insufferable, and how that can be managed.

A Matter of Pride is a good example of the 'concessions' dynamic that can be done in Eiden/Karu.

Goshujin-Ai is an older Karu/Yakumo and a good example of Karu feeling comfortable and doing the 'attempts at condescension' thing I mentioned before.

Slave number one, rub my chest again is me speculating on what it might look like for Karu to ask Eiden to do things to him and try to control sex.

Warden slander wolf Commander is probably a good example of the 'fine I give up but I'll get you next time' potential of Karu, as well as the kind of bleed-heavy narration I talked about.

Master, do you have another wolf besides me?! delves into Karu's potential for jealousy as a way of expressing affection. It's pretty canon-compliant because most of it is adapted from NEON Carnival.

There are many other fics in the Karufic Archive, but I think the ones above are among the best for the purposes of thinking about the writing.

Please feel free to talk to me non-anonymously if you ever want to discuss wolf boy content! As you can see I am cursed with thoughts and need places to put them. I'm also always very happy to do anything that I can to shepherd and sponsor GaruKaru content; if you go ahead with your impulse to write about them (please do) and want a beta reader, don't hesitate to ask~

#nu carnival #nu carnival fanfic #nu carnival karu

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kaiwewi · 2 years

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Some more Guilty Conscience please!! (Though now I feel guilty, because this is going to HURT me) haha, get it?

Thanks for the request! Lol, pain it is, and there's enough for everyone xD

Guilty Conscience #4

[Masterlist: Renegade Rescue Squad] [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Synopsis: Other Villain wants Villain's help with experimenting on the hero. Things take an unexpected turn.

tw: whump, captivity, talk about torture, knife, blood

All of this was Villain’s fault.

The hero had been caught in his trap – a cursed contraption he had built more for show than anything, convinced it would never activate, let alone outperform its purpose. But he’d miscalculated, and his naivety did not absolve him from his crime.

His trap, his responsibility. His guilty conscience.

He wasn’t an idle bystander – he was an accomplice.

Other Villain leaned closer, half turned towards him in something almost resembling a loose hug. The hand that wasn’t sitting on his shoulder slithered down his torso and came to rest above his hip, on the small leather sheath on his belt. Other Villain flipped the latch open and pulled out his knife.

He didn’t dare try to snatch it back as they held it up in the space between their faces.

“I’d like your assistance,” Other Villain said. “I need someone who can handle a blade, and rumour has it you’re some kind of surgeon or something.” With a final pat on the back, they removed their arm from his shoulders, grabbed one of his wrists, placed the knife firmly into his hand, and closed his fingers around the hilt. “So be a darling and skin one of the subject’s forearms for me.”

“You want me to—” Skin the subject’s… No way. He couldn’t – he wouldn’t. “Why?”

“Just an experiment, for science.” Other Villain smiled sweetly, glancing back at the hero. “I want to apply acid to both their arms and contrast deep tissue damage.”

The poor little hero shrank back as far as their bonds allowed.

“Wait,” they cried, voice raw and desperate, choking on their sobs, “you don’t have to do that. Please… I’ll talk, okay? Yeah? I’ll tell you… whatever you want to know, I promise, I’ll tell you. Everything… So don’t do that, please, don’t do that… please, just stop…”

Other Villain laughed.

“You misunderstood, birdie. I’m so sorry,” they said, and did nothing to hide their vicious grin, “I’m not all that interested in information. Fact is: you’re not going anywhere, and when I finally get to interrogating you later, I’m sure you’ll still be just as eager to share.”

Villain couldn’t breathe. The hero’s pitiful wailing may as well have been a punch to his solar plexus. The knife rested heavy in his hand like the weight of every bad decision he’d ever made in life.

He met the hero’s eyes and found that he couldn’t look away, no matter how much he willed himself to not stare at the tears rolling down puffy cheeks, drawing lines through the carnage of half-dried blood splattered across a face which had been reduced to an ashen canvas painted red and purple.

For the first time, the little hero looked truly shattered.

Maybe hope and Other Villain simply couldn’t coexist.

“Let me show you something, pretty bird.” Other Villain plucked a smart phone from their pocket and began tapping and swiping at the screen. “No. No. No…. Ah, found it!

“See, that’s what a chemical burn looks like. Nice, isn’t it? – I took that picture last year, when one of my guests had an unfortunate accident with my hydrochloric acid…. Well, at least it was all rather insightful, if you get my drift.” They swiped across the screen again. “There, half the skin on her hand practically melted away and we could see the ligaments and muscle fibres. And this” – they pointed at something, paused to zoom into the picture, then held the phone up in front of their captive’s face again – “this is a knuckle bone and here—”

Other Villain’s words cut off in a breathless gurgle.

The phone clattered to the floor.

Villain pulled his knife out of Other Villain’s neck and gave the blade a curious look.

He’d just stabbed them, hadn’t he? He couldn’t remember doing that – neither the action nor the intent – but here they were: Villain with the bloody knife clutched in his hand; Other Villain bleeding profusely; the smartphone on the floor next to Villain’s feet; and the hero on the verge of passing out in their seat.

“Not a surgeon,” he said softly into the sudden silence, “I’m a paramedic.”

[Part 5]

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