#i feel like mine is already really obvious HAHAHA

[tubasebongs]

TAKING CARE OF YOU

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Beomgyu

Warning: Fluff, curse words

Summary: Your best friend, Beomgyu was sick and you were given a task by yourself to take care of him, but little did you know a surprise was waiting for you.

--

I was reading when suddenly, a familiar voice filled the room. "I'M BACK!!" Beomgyu said with a loud voice. As usual, Beomgyu appeared with a huge smile ready to annoy again. As I was reading, I was met with a warm breath going down my neck. I flinched seeing Beomgyu stare at me with a huge grin. "What do you want?" I said as a reply. "Nothing, I just wanna see what you're doing" I rolled my eyes. "You have quite of a attitude!" Beomgyu giggled.

But even tho he annoys me, At the end of the day, I always end up with Beomgyu beside me reading with me.

~~The next day~~

I was doing my usual routine. Reading and daydreaming. I felt a soft embrace suddenly going around my waist. "Beomgyu..?" He wasn't in his usual playful personality. He seemed.. tired..? "Hey? What's wrong?" I was met with no reply but a head fitting on the crook of my neck. I heard a mumble. "Huh? What are you saying?" I said. "I feel dizzy." Beomgyu replied. "Then why did you come to school? Aren't you supposed to rest?" I said as a reply. "I wanted to see you..." Was that butterflies I felt..? "W-what..?" I said stuttering. "You heard me... I want to see you.." a confused expression formed on my face as I slightly pushed him away. "What are you doing?" Beomgyu said. I looked up at him and saw a pouty face. Beomgyu tried to hug me again but he was met with me slightly avoiding him. Beomgyu was starting to get really sad. "Why are you avoiding me..? I just want some comfort.." he gave an extremely pouty face. Eventually, I gave in and I was sitting still trying not to wake him up as he slept peacefully on my shoulders the whole school day.

~~Time skip~~

I was getting ready for bed, as I got out of the bathroom I was bombarded with texts and missed calls from Beomgyu. I tried calling him back but I was met with a person sobbing next to the phone. "Hello? Beomgyu?!" I said to the phone, worried. "Y/N!! I've been calling you! Why weren't you answering!" Beomgyu was sobbing "Why are you crying!?" I asked "it's just that.. my head hurts so fucking bad.. can you come over..?" He replied "But it's already midnight.. and i already took a bath.." I said as an excuse "please..?" I sighed "fine."

~~At Beomgyu's house~~

I rang the doorbell at beomgyu's front door. "Hello?" The door peaked slightly open. I saw a Beomgyu with red eyes and messy hair from crying too much. "Y/N!" Beomgyu screamed with excitement. He suddenly gave an unexpected bear hug. "I missed you." He slowly let go and gestured me to come in. We sat down on his couch and he started speaking. "So I just found out.. I have a fever.." Beomgyu ended the sentence "What!?" I put the back of my palm on his forehead "you're really hot!" Beomgyu laughed "I know~" Beomgyu teased. I sighed at his teasing. "I'm gonna get some water" i stood up but wasn't able to move since I felt a hand grab me and pulled me back on the couch. I was on Beomgyu's lap. "Don't go.." Beomgyu's face was buried on the crook of my neck. "What are you doing..!" I said in a slightly loud voice, Beomgyu seemed frustrated. He started speaking. "Y/N, haven't I made it so obvious?" He said "huh?" I asked confused "I like you, Y/N." He stated. "Huh? Hahaha nice joke..." I said in denial. "Do I look like I'm joking?" I never saw him that serious. "Well I-" I wasn't able to finish my sentence when suddenly I felt a soft lip launched on mine. The kiss lasted for a few minutes and by the time he pulled back we were out of breath. I was red as a tomato by the sudden gesture. "Do you believe me now?" I was speechless "You look so cute when you can't speak~" Beomgyu giggled. "So do you accept me..?" He asked "huh..?" I was still speechless. "Well it's ok if you don't like me ba-" he was cut off. "I like you too!" A few seconds passed and beomgyu started smiling "heh, I knew you would like me back, it's me! I'm literally beomgyu!" He teased, and I started to look annoyed. He giggled and gave me a bear hug. "I'm glad you love me too.." we ended the night cuddling and hugging each other.

~~Time skip~~

We were walking together in school holding each other's hands. The feeling of his soft hand on mine was very unreal. We were finally happy.

[misc-obeyme]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you to @fickleminder for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Uhh 14 lol. It's basically Threads, the daily chat series, and a couple other random ones. I don't update my AO3 hardly ever.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

36,929 HAHAHA and also 21,537 of that is The Threads That Bind lasdkjdfkj. Arrie's story is already way past that. Dang, maybe I should start updating my AO3 more... put all the other fics I have here on there?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Obey Me is the only one!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When It's Pouring Rain

Lucifer's Favor

You Are Mine (NSFW!)

The Threads That Bind

Solomon's Kindness

Those are the tumblr links but obviously they're all on AO3 too.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I'm really bad about this on AO3, but that is likely due to the fact that I don't use it anywhere near as much. However, I try to respond here! I do my best lol.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This Solomon fic is by far the angstiest thing I've ever written ever.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I mean, honestly, you can just bop on through my masterlist, so much of it is fluff and happy endings. I don't think there's any one that's like the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have gotten but one anon hate. They didn't specify what they were hating on, but I got it after I posted these graveyard sex headcanons so I think it was probably about that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure thing, you can see all the NSFW sections of the masterlist lol. It's all x reader, gender neutral stuff. Though I have done afab reader on request.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't, but I'm not opposed.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but that does sound like fun!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

All time? Like of my whole life?? Gigolas is the only thing that comes to mind lol. For OM, I've been obsessed with Solulu lately so...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

NEVER SAY NEVER. But seriously, I don't ever fully abandon things, you never know when the inspiration will strike again! Also I never post stuff that isn't finished. My process is such that this just doesn't work for me. So even when I'm doing multi chapter fics, they're already finished when I start posting them. So anything I don't finish or ever go back to will only be sitting in my files on my computer and no one will know about it but me...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at dialogue? I dunno, it's hard to judge myself. Ask me when I'm in the middle of it and I'll tell you there are no strengths lol.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description, probably.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have no thoughts about this. I don't usually include such things myself.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It was either Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. I can't remember for sure.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I feel like the obvious answer is Threads (as linked above). But it is the answer, so there you go.

Well, that was fun! Consider this an open tag for anyone who would like to participate!

[upperranktwo]

Hey, sky 🤗

Thank you for telling me more about why you love gaming so much. I can see now why you are so passionate about it.😁 And I am happy to know that whatever happens you will have something that will distract /cheer you up.

I read more into Doma... He is such an interesting character! I love characters like him. He is complex and there is no reason behind why he is the way that he is. He was born that way. I like that!

The food is my favorite part of Christmas, since I'm too old for presents now. What foods do you usually enjoy for Christmas? And do you have any favorite Christmas movies? Christmas anime/animation? I recommend watching Tokyo' godfathers if you already haven't.

I'm spending Christmas with my family as well. I also would like to visit Japan and South Korea! And I also have a twin sister ! It's nice to know we have that in come🤭 I'm curious whose older? Are you identical? You guys seem like (from what you told me) opposites. Do you have some interests in common with your sister? What's the most annoying question you've been asked relating to being a twin? Mine is: "whose the evil one/naughty one?" Sorry with my twin's questions. It's not often I meet someone who also has a twin.

It was really lovely getting to know you over these past few weeks. I will be posting your gift soon. 🎁

Merry Christmas and a happy new year 🎉

your secret santa

I really love that about Douma as well! But I also feel so sorry for him. It's obvious from his childhood he was groomed into the cult leader position from birth and it's all he really knows :( poor baby! But he is also just a complete prick and I love him for that!!!

I am a vegetarian so I don't have a normal Christmas Dinner with chicken and all that. Tomorrow I am gonna have cheese pizza and mochi. I like eating lots of chocolate at Christmas!!! I havent really watched any Christmas anime that I can think from the top of my head but I tend to watch a lot of British comedies which have Christmas episodes. But the last couple weeks it's been constant Peppa Pig since my nephews love it 😭

Omg I love finding people who are twins!!! We're not identical but people still mistake us for one another! We're different but the same, she is very serious but has her moments where she lets her hair down! Whilst I have always been the more humours one! She is slightly taller than me and has natural red hair which is her defining feature! She enjoys art and learning about different cultures but she also enjoys anime, she likes the Ghibli films, Bleach and KNY!

Omg we get asked that as well hahaha 😭 people think i'm the evil one since I am protective of my siblings (can't help being the eldest one!) Or we get asked all the time who is our parents favourite (they always say they don't have one) or we get asked if we're really twins because i'm not as smart as she is 😭 I try my best tho!

I've enjoyed talking to you as well!!! I'm very excited to see your gift 🥺 i'm sure I will love it!!!

[13-nastin-13]

Okay, it’s been literally almost a whole ass YEAR since I last posted anything on my tumblr, but luckily I’m going back!!!

But before I do it, I need to write down a VERY emotional wall of words, there will be also, once again, some V E R Y important news, bad and good, you’ve been warned.

During all this time while you were waiting for new stuff here, some strange and even horrifying things happened, I have no idea how the heck did I survive all this and the goddamn 2021 has finally let me go and I can start posting at least some content in the new year.

I have absolutely mixed feelings and thoughts on 2021 as it had the potential to be a very therapeutic year until october, but then OCTOBER happened and everything went to shit leading to an unbearably long art block. But, you know, I started writing this post at the beginning of 2022 and, s o f t l y speaking, current year is a total f*king mess which is not anyhow better than the previous year, except for this is totally not the right blog to discuss it (I believe my drawings do it better than my text posts anyways), after all this art acc mostly dedicated to pure escapism, so.. let me explain everything in order, from the very beginning.

Here’s a cool story for ya:

Over the previous year, I also managed to somehow imperceptibly get sick with covid, so I could not be vaccinated for another six months. And imagine the giant resentment of mine when I again fell ill with covid in January of this year (this time, in a severe form), and then I recovered circa in March. At the same time, right before I got sick, a lot of ideas for new art came to my mind at once, and even when I finally got better I STILL felt like a 400 year old omelette >:((((

But, as it turned out, this is definitely not the worst thing that could ever happen hahaha

Unfortunately, the art summary turned out weird and incomplete (I'm not even afraid to say that even in 2016 it wasn't that bad lol). I think it's obvious that 2021 was more dedicated to recovering from a horrible trauma (which I spoke about in another huge text post before), rather than making art. And about current year, I could say, basically, the same thing, but this is not exactly what it is... And I could recover earlier and even make inspiring posts already in November 2021 about how "I aLmOst sUcCeSsFuLLy OvErCaMe DePrEsSiOn", if not another death in October, which made all my fears, ptsd, anxiety and other most tough mental problems of mine float to the surface of my consciousness again, and my condition, once on the mend, worsened several times compared to the beginning of the year AGAIN.

I remember how I was consumed by guilt and even the craziest thoughts about being, in fact, damned? Yes, yes, it sounds ridiculous, but it really seemed to me as if enyone who had ever shown affection and sincere love for me are automatically doomed to inevitable death.

Alas, sometimes I still get such strange thoughts, as if I am climbing to the cherished hope for the best again and again, and some incomprehensible shitty force pushes me back to the bottom of a dark abyss and laughs at me, trying to convince me that "it will never be like in 2018 anymore", that I will never make it.

However, it all affected me in such a strange way and made me realize that this loud, distorted laughter in my ears made me grow pretty much tired of it, but let’s talk about it later LATER in this post ahaha...

Gonna sound extremely banal right after more serious text above, yet still another very UNpleasant thing for some followers of my little bloggo, this time from 2022, It’s my instagram acc being totally blocked. Yes, yes, and the reason of it is extraordinary stupid, well SOOO so darn astronomically stupid on all material and immaterial levels of different stupid realities to the core that I feel stupid to even tell you guys... As soon as the developers came up with that stupid update featuring sorta trash like "set the birthday, even if the acc is for a cat, we will then customize everything for you by your age", for some reason I thought that you can set any age, even a cat's, completely forgetting that, in fact, there’s a law which says that no one should use social media under 13. Although I remember it as 12. Fuck guys, my paranoid ace ass just didn't want an abundance of s3xual content in my feed, because who the hell knows what tf does it even mean "by age" like why not by something else w h y- 🤡🤡🤡 *sigh* I will of course start a new account, if anything... But losing memories from the old one made me feel down a bit, since memory and time, the past in general, as you can guess judging by my art, plays a significant role for me. And with that, thank God, the bad news end for now!

For a long time I’ve been immersed in brutally deep prostration, all my possible and even impossible psychological issues flared up with a blue flame. And after so much time since I made the last post in October of the previous year, everything has come to the point that I have turned into some kind of completely different person. On one hand, this type of thing happens to me every year and it’s time to get used to it, but what I’m trying to say is that a certain mental cup (???) overflowed so much that everything in my head just simply dropped back to zero and turned completely upside down and somehow simply started to follow its own rules, independent from everything that happens in reality, purely detached.

And you know WHAT?

To this day, for the first time in several years, I felt the echoes of THAT VERY freedom, which I lacked so much! Suddenly there was some light, some hope, despite the incredibly brutal and dark cage of this flat world.

I don't care what cociety's reaction will be to anything I’ll say or do and I'm not afraid of anything anymore. I don’t know if I’ve gone completely crazy or, on the contrary, this is a long-awaited remission, but I don’t care so much anymore, so I will just run with sincerest enthusiasm into this light and just continue to watch what's the rest in 2022 for me. One way or another, if every year is so bad and you never know when will it change to good (maybe never at all), then why not send everything in the world to hell and do things that bring at least a little of joy to yourself and others? I think I've been strong for too long, it seems like it's time to get even stronger now...

Well, after a several awkward attempts to end this text wall on a more "positive" note, why not revisit some really sweet moments of 2021? For example, my crazy artistic search for my identity in March, when I locked myself away from everyone in a room for a month, embracing creepy movies, flowers and immersing myself in various 17th century art, or when me and some frenchman my close friend (WHO REALLY NEEDS TO DROP DA ALBUM ALREADY YEAH I’M TALKING TO YOU JULES) were sitting at home in a May thunderstorm, recording some silly careless stuff with sleepy rainy weather and misty green trees outside the window yessss. Or when we watched that old movie from your computer in July, because my internet connection said “no ❤️» :((((( And, well, the most epic stuff a.k.a my birthday, when we went to the park with another very close bro of mine, ate there some giant crumbling burgers with tiny glasses of milk, which they call "milkshake" and then wandered around the gardens of Peterhof palace just to get lost there until it was very late at night and then we got out of there god knows when ha ha. Seems like nothing really grandiose, but God I felt so good and peaceful at such moments and I am very grateful to my friends who were next to me back then 🥺

In terms of good news for 2022, I have a lot of creative work to do at the moment and hope to feed u guys this month with one big epicc thing that my friend and I have been working on tirelessly for a little longer than expected, but it WILL come out one day and this fact brings us a lot of joy to be honest! And I also would like to record something like rants for my YouTube channel, since even posts like this one are not enough for me, because I’m still that one Hamlet, yeah.

For the goals for the rest of the year, I only want to finish that cool project and also create on my blog and in my life in general, an era full of everything new! So far, sounds like something impossible, after all what happened lol. But, by the way, I graduated in my school this year, all the exams are over, so why not?

Aaand, from now on, I announce the renaissance of the blog and, in short, let's celebrate guys, happy new year on october 9th everyone! 😭🎉

Thank you so SO MUCH who read this post to the very end, because there is nothing more important for me than knowing that someone cares :"0 This gives me a feeling of some kind of unity or family, or something... And now it's time for new adventures!! We will all definitely survive and make it.

And, finally, some of my favorite pictures from 2021 in order to boost the cozy vibes..

Lots of hugs for y’all ❤️

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.  

“The Curse of the Black Spot” is the third episode and I enjoyed it for the most part.

The Good: I simply adore PoTC so having a pirate storyline immediately piqued my interest. Amy having her Elizabeth Swann moment was so cute and I’m going to ignore the fact that Amy has no sword training but was still doing pretty good against pirates lol. Amy/Rory relationship please always be like this I loved them both in this episode, they had some great lines and moments. The Doctor being wrong and figuring things out along with us always makes for an entertaining situation. Eleven blowing on the siren medallion had me laughing so much there’s some things Matt does that remind me a bit of Chris’ goofier moments and I quite like those reminders. The pirates becoming space pirates was so WTF in the funniest way, ok DW give me silliness hahaha

The Bad: Toby cutting the man was unnecessary and horrible, he’d already been told of the dangers of cuts at least Amy did it without realizing earlier. I liked the interactions between the captain and the Doctor but it was yet another reminder that Eleven doesn’t interact much with his own companions. I’ve seen him spend more time with Kazran, Canton and the captain now than Amy and Rory! And there’s always a weird undercurrent of the Doctor ignoring Rory, I’ve been noticing it since the first episode and it seemed a bit more obvious here when he says goodnight only to Amy it feels super rude. Also, it’s such a huge pet peeve of mine when they show CPR on shows/films because they never bother to show it being done properly but that was me being nitpicky.

The Worst: I know they wanted to pull at our heartstrings with Rory needing to be resuscitated, but you’re telling me there actually isn’t some futuristic medbay with fancy equipment aboard the TARDIS that could have saved him, it really had to be CPR??? I thought the other ship and the siren being a doctor was pretty interesting but the emotional impact we were supposed to feel at the end fell flat IMO.  

The Unresolved: The man that was cut by Toby wasn’t mentioned again and he wasn’t shown being “killed”, he just wasn’t in the powder room anymore when they returned. Still wondering what’s going on with the pregnant or not pregnant storyline, hmmm....

Honorable sad mention to the Doctor saying a virus from “our” planet, it seemed like he was saying he was from Earth which I imagine he sees as his new home now  😭 😭 I guess I was wrong before when I thought Amy and Rory weren’t full time companions maybe at the start of the series I they were just taking a break. I’m sad Amy was convinced not to tell the Doctor, I feel like this goes back to “The Beast Below” episode when he was upset she made a decision for him.

Overall I thought it was fun, not the best not the worst, but decently entertaining. The ending was a bit meh for me emotionally. I don’t mind having what other people would call “filler” episodes sometimes it’s nice to watch something that feels like it’s just there. Haha I feel like that’s a backhanded compliment but I thought it was fun!

[skzfaker]

i just finished your fic! :) it's nowhere near ready tho. i still have editing to do, and only then will it be perfect, but yay! prepare >:) also - i'd pass away if u made a book cover for it, omg. that would be so good blinking is optional and yeah, i still have a long time :) it'd be super cool to incorporate the stuff i learn into fics, but i also just finished my pre-reqs so im still really not in my major just yet. but im excited for my upcoming classes! i have done evil wizards, evil joseon dynasty era warriors, evil pirates, evil vampires... ahahahahaha. can u see a theme AND YEAH, JONGHO <33333 he's the greatest. he's so cool. i have put him through so much and he absolutely does not deserve it. i show my love in really strange ways. he's the main vocalist of ateez, right? i may have stolen his vocal cords in one of the fics as a punishment for his sins it's a very long story. I have a handful of fluff fics but it's really just majorly horror or fantasy and it's all darker fantasy lol. clearly... i enjoy the more sinister side of life. hahah i might skip but probably not. i hate skipping class ajdsjklfskl and i'd just be worried about it during the concert which wouldn't be good. idk, who knows, i'd stop a moving truck w my bare hands if i knew that by doing so i'd be able to see ateez oh, where do u live if u dont mind me asking? i figured we lived in different places because your time zone seems different than mine and thank u!!! i've just been chilling, but i also like being a busy bee, so i've been writing when i can, i'm also a lifeguard, and im trying to get a paid internship at a lab for my resume :') and yeah, i like to do a lot of things not on the computer! i play viola tho not as much anymore bc im burnt out but i still say it, write, knit, and read! ngl the first thought i have was felix's extensions in thunderous. clothes never really bother me too much, it's always hair it seems. i just like it a certain way and im not a big fan of longer hair, so i saw his extensions and sighed a bit. ofc it's just hair and i still love him but AAAAAA. what about u? - 🎅

wow you work really fast! THE HYPE FOR THIS STORY IS REAL (╯✧∇✧)╯and it'd be a honor to make the banner/cover for it! do you usually have covers for your stories or have someone make those btw? i remember back when i frequented fanfiction sites, everyone seemed to have their own banner-makers. sending you energy for the editing portion tho!

also i spent a majority of yesterday taking naps so i think my eyes are back to normal

okay that's a pretty impressive repertoire of horror-themed stories! very intrigued by the evil pirates one evil-anything needs to be more of a thing - this is why i love it when groups do dark/evil concepts (also i keep typing 'evil' as 'evel'). all the fluff and bubblegum is cute and all, but i live for the edgy and dark themes too.

HAHA OMG jongho is ariel - i love how you stole his voice HAHAHA. you really hit him where it hurts; i can already feel his crisis from over here. yeah we're definitely the same in that regard. i love my cheesy romance, but horror is still my #1 genre. i do hope you gave jongho a happy ending tho (≧▽≦)

aww man i was the same when i was a student too. i wasn't happy skipping classes and i was constantly anxious about being late. fast forward a few years and i'll take a random day off of work for the heck of it HAHAHA. hopefully having to stop a truck with your bare hands won't be the requirement for you to meet ateez tho! have you already met them before, btw? or is the concert next year potentially the first time you'll see them?

ah i'm currently staying in the philippines! what about you? i kinda just assumed you're in america - please let me know if i'm off-base there, and we can figure out just how much time difference we have tho tbh i'm a vampire so i'm up until 3 or 4 AM here

(also you just reminded me to ask which timezone to follow when it's time to give gifts/reveal ourselves on the 25th. i might give my gift too early...)

btw, have you made it home??

yay! glad you’re getting some rest! wow a lifeguard tho! i'm guessing you enjoy swimming then HAHAHA. and that you live close to the beach? ooh i love that knitting is also part of your hobby list. i used to crochet but got too lazy about it. what kind of things do you like to make?

...okay i swear i'm not copying you on purpose here, but felix's thunderous extensions is also on my list of ??? skz looks. the blonde ones that match his actual hair looked okay, but the weird greyish ones...yeah i'm not feeling it. i thought it was part of his hat at first. hmm, can't say i'm a huge fan of chan's cheeto hair much either, especially when it was so short (soz chan). what about your favorite looks?

[ayoharuko]

Genshin Impact Bf Headcanons

 Hi everyone I'm back yay!😊

I'm feeling a bit better so i decided to just make a part 2 instead of snoozing around....

I hope u guys enjoy this part and I'm sorry for the wrong spelling or bad Grammer.

I also apologize if the headcanons are a bit occ or not canon at all these are headcanons after all. i wrote this on my laptop

Also one more thing I'll apologize for is sometimes the writing style will change like last time it might look nice and now its....just a bit not nice?? Does that make sense? sorry sorry I'm getting side tracked....

I just had my adhd moment−

oh even if i wanted to copy the same style as i did last time I'm too lazy to check the last post probably cause I'm derived of sleep and surviving with coffee ok fr imma stop-

REMINDER: All these characters belong to hoyoverse and does not belong to me (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

Anywaysss hope u enjoy this!

(Liyue Boys)

~Ajax my boi~ (Childe, Tartagila)

~Possessive Boyfriend~

• I had a debate between possessive or overprotective since he's technically both, a cunning fox and a blood thirsty wolf, but possessive takes the cake for me hahaha

• He doesn't like people's eyes on you. makes him jealous but he also likes peoples eyes on you. makes him prideful to show off that your he's

• Definitely leaves marks on you like obvious places too!

• If you fight or have a vision and can fight expect him to train with you, help you with your tasks and spar aka fight with you just to see who's stronger lmao

• Buys you expensive gifts when he's away(That fatui money yuh~✨)

• PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS. i feel like if he gets like really jealous your walking card....gone bish✨ and that person ✨G O N E✨

• Like when you met traveler he full on THOUGHT that were flirting with you and actually kind off threatened them-

• He siblings/family already adore you even if they haven't met you yet, they just know your a very nice person because of what teucer tells them!

• Speaking of teucer.....he probably loves you more then he's big brother....lol jk..or maybe...? But teucer loves you a lot since he sees you make he's big brother really happy all the time and also because your very nice and play with him a lot! This makes childe very happy since he knows he doesn't have to worry about he's siblings hating you.

• If you can't cook expect him to cook breakfast or dinner and also if he's free and yall live together he could also clean the house if you want~

• He always has hearts in he's eyes whenever you guys are together and for once the people around him and see a Slight sparkle in he's eyes

•  He's your overprotective but possessive wolf and he would go crazy if something happens to you...

• You guys go on dinner dates especially if your both are in Snezhnaya

• He kinda keeps you a secret from the fatui but sometimes he can't help but brag about you still being careful with he's word of course 

• He loves you...a lot...but sometimes it can be... a little....crazy

Nicknames: Mine, Babe and baby

Voice line about you: Heyyy there comrade! I see your getting quite comfy with y/n over there....what nono..I'm not assuming you of anything I'm jjust gonna let you know their mine....alright? Good! dont want you sealing them now haha!

When he talks to you: Hiya babe~ what? You didn't like the way i talked to traveler? oh come on the were sealing all your attention from me tho~!

~Old Man Morax~ (Zhongli)

~Gentleman boyfriend~

• I don't imagine him as a jealous or possessive person since he's lived through so many years he probably has high patience. However doesn't mean he's not  overprotective since he's basically lost a lot of things in he's life he always make sure your safe, your eating well, water etc always cares about your health.

• Hu tao at one point has told you both that you remind her of an old married couple....and i think she's right-

• He wakes up before you and prepares you both tea not before admiring your sleepy face of course❣

• Cooks breakfast(Imagine him in an apron😫)for you both and cleans you guys house when your at work just him being a malewife🥺

• Would always open doors for you, buy you flowers(When he has mora) and buys you thinks when he's out in liyue(Again if he has mora otherwise its childes-)

• When you first made him lunch as a surprise at work he had the most heart warming smile ever like smiling while eating the food you cooked and just praising you constantly as well. Hu tao was jealous you didn't make her lunch lol

• At one point of you guys relationship he told the whole truth about him being an ex-god and even showed he's dragon form just so you would believe him.... and thank the archons you still accepted him for who he was and loved him...

• Sometimes when you guys are at the comfort of your house he lets out he's horns and tail so you can pet or touch them which he likes very much and you end up with a big dragon on you-

• Xiao has definitely been watching over you and zhongli knows it...he's grateful that even if he's not present xiao will be the one to watch over you🥺😭

• You guys would be outside at the sunset enjoying your tea and just overall chilling...those are he's favorite moments with you❤

• You guys can be found strolling around liyue just looking at the beautiful city

• He appreciates how you try and listen to he's tales even if he knows that some of them are boring and makes you fall asleep but he still appreciates in you trying to listen.

• Arguments would almost never happen in your relationship of course excluding you guys disagreements but zhongli tries to avoid arguing with you since he hates yelling and overall just hates seeing you mad.

• Even in a million years he would never stop being over in heels inlove with you💕

Nicknames: My gem, dear and my beloved

Voice line about you: “Hm...traveler..would you perhaps think that this would look nice on y/n? You think it would? Alright then I'll be taking this then. What? Oh...m-mora i..uhm..forgot my wallet again it seems...apologies..I'll pay you back traveler”

When he talks to you: “Dear i must thank you for this....it tastes marvelous”

~Baby Xiao~ (Alatus)

~Shy But Overprotective Boyfriend~

• He's both shy but very overprotective of you. Like he thinks your made of glass so he always watches you. minus when he has to go fight demons at night of course, but he always wants you to stay at the hotel when its night time since he knows how dangerous it is when its night time at liyue. if you have errand to do however...except him to come with you even if he hates large crowds.

• He'll only come and see you when you bring him food or call out he's name. and that was at like at least a few months into your relationship with him. The reason for this is because he doesn't want he's karma to affect you since your the only light he has.

• He only eats whatever you cook as he thinks their exceptional to he's taste. girl he actually thinks your cooking is delicious thats why lol

• He LOVES headpats and LOVES kisses on the forehead. FIGHT ME I DARE YOU🙂

• When you hug him he turns red in an instant and then relaxes but sometimes(Sadly) pushes you off of him...since he's too scare of he's karma going to you😭, meaning he's always running away from you....

• But there are sometimes when you convince him to stay...and when he does stay...he lets you do whatever you please with him. Thats including kisses, reassurance, comfort and cuddles for the baby💕

• If you get hurt he instantly blames himself. So you have to reassure him that it isn't he's fault whatsoever.

• He brings you Qingxin flowers he's favorite flowers and leaves it at your nightstand if you live in the hotel its a reminder from him to you that he loves you and that he always watches over you.

• At every affection you give him it doesn't matter if big or small he always turns red since that how much he had fallen for you. 

• Ya know you'll feel like you have a guard dog always watching you....in a good way

• Always dreads the day you'll have to leave him...he knows your a mortal...he knows their fragile and weak...but he just doesn't wanna let you go...your he's only weakness and the only one who shows he's love for.

Nicknames: My light(Rarely)

Voice line about you: “What? I'm not looking at y/n...your simply imagining....”

When he talks to you: “You called? H-huh? Cuddles? I suppose it won't hurt...just this once...I'll humor you..you mortal”

~Bookworm Boi~ (Xingqiu)

~Prince Boyfriend~ 

• He might act like a prince but he is still a bookworm...but we love he's nerdy side so thats fine!

• Since xingqiu’s basically rich he definitely knows how to act like a gentleman...although before he fall inlove with you i like to think he had ignored every person who he's family set him up with..so they were surprised to find out that he suddenly took an interest in you.

• There are sometimes where he pays more attention to he's books more then you but please dont worry he loves you😊

• Buys books that he thinks makes you think of him. i mean he does have the money-

• He thought of a love story that was about you both and wrote it down...but writing it down poor Chongyun had to since our water boi’s hand-writing sucks, but it was worth it since it was very romantic and cute⁓

• He also writes poems about you and then read them to you in the afternoon under a tree while your napping either on he's shoulder or lap.

• Compliments everyday baby💕

• HE'S A MF TEASE. like you see the pranks or things he does to poor Chongyun?? I feel bad for you both😔

• When he's not occupy with a book you both are walking around liyue either buying things at stalls, books or food really anything he's down.

• Yelan watches over you both. like sometimes she'll treat you both to a restaurant and she'll sit in another table while you both have your meal(She pays for it too)Basically she observers how you both interact with each other and finds you both cute🥺

• Overall he's a real prince to you minus being a bookworm

Nicknames: My liege and love

Voice line about you: “This book reminds me of them....lets buy it”

When he talks to you: “Hm? You would like my attention? Hehe...alright then my liege..I'll give you what you want~”

~Precious Exorcist~ (Chongyun)

~Shy Boyfriend~

• Now him...he's 100% baby

• Whenever you touch him he short circuits. My boi knows nothing about girls-. Xinyan or yun jin obviously don't count, When we're talking about periods...its a different story....

• But he's very sweet and cares for you!, always senses when your upset/sad and immediately tries to cheer you up.

• Your he's meat shied if xingqiu comes looking for him...he tries to avoid he's friend quite a lot.

• Xingqui teases you both well mainly chongyung about how much he's a simp for you hehe...

• He always stutters when he talks to you. with the blush too!

• He's always on a look out for evil spirits or demons since he wants to protect you. When you have a nightmare he blames it on demons and he's dislike towards them increases.

• Like how yelan would watch over you and xingqiu. Shenhe watches over the both of you as a protector since she knows that chongyung still has a lot to learn and even if doesn't wanna admit it...she worries for you both.

• Shares he's popsicles with you💘

Nicknames:(Sadly no nickname he's too shy yall)

Voice line about you: “I-i get it now xingqui! g-geez...i..love them..a lot..”

When he talks to you: “H-how are you? O-oh fine? thats good...uhm..would you like to go to xinyan’s concert tomorrow?”

And that concludes our liyue boys!

tysm for reading this far everyone and again I'm sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

I hope u guys enjoyed this one my brain kinda hurtled from thinking this much headcanons lol

But it was worth it I'm proud to have finish part 2!. Now part 3 will be maybe after a few days and its the inazuma boys this time yay💕

But yea tysm for reading this far everyone mua mua~!💕✨

[aomine-ryo]

Hi can you do a jealousy headcanon for GOM? 💜

Of course! Hope you like it :)

Headcanons: GOM getting jealous

Kuroko

He doesn’t get jealous very often because he just has so much trust in you

If he ever does, he’s really subtle about it that you won’t even notice unless he tells you

He knew that he could talk to you about anything so he was never particularly uncomfortable with you being around other guys

There was a boy in your class who you had been getting quite close to

He quickly became a good friend of yours, and you’d often hang out with him when Kuroko was busy

He was objectively rather attractive, but you didn’t really see him that way because you only really had eyes for Kuroko

Kuroko wasn’t in your class so he’d sometimes see you walking around the school hallways, however more often than not, you would be with that boy

He seemed like a nice and earnest guy, which is probably why Kuroko began to feel a little threatened by him

Not knowing any better, you invited your friend to come watch one of Kuroko’s practice games with you since you could use the company

Kuroko wasn’t very pleased to see him to say the least

He’d usually glance over at you during games because seeing you watching him motivated him to do better

But now when he looked at you, he’d see you talking to that boy and he’d just feel annoyed

And it definitely showed in the way he played as well because his moves became uninspired and predictable

You went to grab some food with Kuroko’s team and your friend afterwords and Kuroko would not keep his hands off of you

He’d constantly be holding your hand

And he’d leave absolutely no space between you two

Of course, you noticed all of this, but you didn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone

“Hey, so you’ve been spending a lot of time with that guy from your class, huh?” Kuroko said when the two of you were walking back home together

“Yeah, I suppose,” you shrugged, beginning to connect the dots

“Hm,” he hummed, his grip on your hand getting a bit tighter

“Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s nothing,” he mumbled

“You’re jealous aren’t you?” you grinned

His face just became red as he averted his gaze

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he denied almost instantly

“So that’s why you were being so touchy back there,” you giggled

“Well I was just making sure he knew that you were mine,” he said, finally deciding to give in

“For what it’s worth, you really don’t need to worry about him— I’m sure he knows.”

“I’m not a violent person but if he tries anything, let him know he can catch these hands,” he said, clenching his other fist and holding it up

“Tetsu, he’s twice your size, but sure.”

Kise

Okay so we know that Kise is really cold with people he generally doesn’t respect

Well, this coldness becomes so amplified when he sees someone he doesn’t know with you

The two of you were on a date at a cafe once and he went to the cashier to place your order while you remained seated at your table

That was when a classmate of yours spotted you and approached you

“Y/N? Didn’t expect to run into you here,” he said, grinning widely before engaging in conversation with you

Meanwhile, Kise was standing in the queue, glaring at you two

In Kise’s eyes, he was very obviously flirting with you— and he was, you just didn’t realise it

Every moment that he looked at you two angered him more and more

The damn boy even made himself comfortable by taking Kise’s seat

Was what he said so funny that you needed to be giggling like that?

Kise hastily placed his order and then stormed over to your table, not bothering to wait for your food

The boy was just about to reach out to touch you when Kise slammed his hand down on the table, startling both of you

He didn’t intend to do it with so much force but it just happened and he didn’t care

“Hey Y/N-cchi, who’s this?” Kise snarled, voice calm but menacing at the same time

“Oh hey Ryouta, this is Satou, a classmate of mine,” you introduced innocently

“Hi there,” Kise said, flashing him a fake smile and not even bothering to register his name in his head, “Y/N-cchi and I are kind of on a date right now, and you’re in my seat.”

Kise took your hand that was resting on the table and squeezed it tight, making the jealousy much more obvious to you

Your classmate visibly showed his annoyance through an eye roll as he stood up from Kise’s seat

“Alright,” he sighed. “See you around, Y/N.”

His and Kise’s eyes were shooting daggers at each other at this point

“Sure you will,” Kise mumbled sarcastically as he watched him walk off

“Babe they’ve been waving at you from the counter for the past two minutes now, trying to get your attention,” you pointed out, looking at the worker who was just about to give up and bring the order to you herself

“Ah crap,” Kise muttered before rushing over to meet the worker halfway and apologise

“I think someone got a bit carried away with their jealousy, don’t you think?” you said once he got back

“Tch, the guy goes to our school. He should know that you’re mine by now. Yet he still thought he had a shot, what an idiot,” Kise scoffed, just the thought of the boy talking to you getting him riled up again

“You’re intimidating when you’re jealous, it’s weird.”

“Weird? I can be intimidating! Why is that weird?” Kise pouted, switching back to his usual eccentric self

“Because you still sleep with stuffed animals, Ryouta,” you giggled

“And so do you, what’s your point?”

Midorima

So he’s not one to really initiate things like PDA

He’s the kind of guy that just holds your hand in public and that’s about it

However when he gets jealous, he becomes a whole other type of possessive

You’d be hanging out with him and a few of your friends from school

And one of the guys would constantly flirt with you

You didn’t really think too much of it because you thought he was just being friendly

But between the flirtatious teasing and unnecessary touching, Midorima was slowly losing his patience

He’d be really subtle at first

He’d hold your hand a bit tighter and hold you by your waist every now and then, all while eyeing the guy down in hopes that he’d get the message

Obviously, it wasn’t enough because he’d barely even notice Midorima and would continue chatting away with you as if your boyfriend wasn’t right there

“Hey Y/N, do you wanna go to that manga store over there together?” your friend said, seemingly inviting only you even though there were five other people in your group

“Actually, Y/N and I were just planning on leaving, sorry,” Midorima intervened, the ‘sorry’ oozing with so much sarcasm that it was clear that he really didn’t like the guy

“Oh already? You don’t have to leave just because Midorima is, you know,” your friend said

Hahaha it took everything in Midorima to not send him flying like his three pointers

“Excuse me? I think you’re crossing the line there a bit, don’t you think—“

“It’s getting pretty late, we should get going,” you said quickly before things could escalate

After shooting one last glare at your friend, Midorima walked away with you

“The nerve of that guy— unbelievable,” Midorima sighed

“I thought you were going to punch him or something, that’s why I stopped you so quickly,” you giggled

“Honestly, I might have,” Midorima chuckled. “How are you even friends with someone like him?”

“I guess he’s just friendly,” you shrugged. “Looks like someone was a bit jealous though.”

“Please, why would I be jealous of an idiot like him,” Midorima scoffed

He’d never admit to an emotion like jealousy— ever

Aomine

Oh god this boy does not handle jealousy well

He would 100% break someone’s nose if he feels like they’re getting too close

The two of you were at a party once and Aomine decided to take a break from dancing for a moment to grab a drink

So he was leaning against the wall sipping on his drink while watching you on the dance floor

Of course, he wasn’t very pleased to find you dancing with some other guy

Aomine recognised him as someone who went to your school, so he very well could just be a friend of yours

However that didn’t stop him from feeling a growing amount of jealousy as each moment passed

Did you really need to be dancing that close to him?

Aomine should be the only one you dance like that with

He was already a bit tipsy so he may not have been thinking straight

But he completely lost it when he saw your bodies swaying so carelessly together

Next thing he knew, he was storming over to the dance floor

You didn’t even notice him until you were suddenly ripped away from the boy you were previously dancing with

And once again you were dancing with Aomine

He was holding your waist tight and his face was as close as ever

“What do you think you’re doing dancing like that with someone else?” Aomine growled

“Why? Is someone jealous?” you joked as you continued to move along with him to the music

“Don’t tease around like that. You’re all mine, don’t you realise?” he grinned, shoving his lips onto yours before you could say another word

The kiss was desperate and heavy, and as a result, sloppy— not that you minded too much

After seeing that act, the guy from earlier backed off, though you didn’t even notice or care for that matter

I mean, why would you care about any other guy when Aomine Daiki was in front of you?

Murasakibara

He gets jealous very easily

He’s like a child when it comes to most things— he doesn’t share

You’ve had your fair share of encounters with other guys that ended with Murasakibara scaring them off

The two of you were seated on the couch together on your phones

There was absolutely no reason for Murasakibara to have come over to your house just to be on his phone, but he just enjoyed your presence

You were scrolling through TikTok because you’d run out of things to do

You landed on a video of these two shirtless boys dancing to a song that you liked so you just watched for the hell of it

You started scrolling through the comments while the video kept replaying, garnering Murasakibara’s attention

The second he saw what you were watching his possessiveness just kicked in

“You really like watching those boys, huh?” he said, glaring at the boys as if they could see through the screen

“Not really, I just like the song,” you shrugged before turning to him with a smirk, “why? Are you jealous?”

“Well if it means I can get more of your attention then sure, I guess I’m jealous,” he answered simply. “Do I have to take my shirt off and do a dance too?”

“I wasn’t going to say that, but now that you mention it, I’d love to see it,” you giggled

Next thing you knew, he wrapped his arms around you, sending you toppling back onto the couch

“Too bad I can’t dance, I guess you’ll have to make do with some kisses for now,” he said softly, making your heart flutter

“Ah dammit, I wanted to see you dance,” you sighed, pretending to be disappointed

“Shut up,” he groaned, before pressing his lips against yours

This was what he was usually like when he got jealous though

He wouldn’t necessarily get angry or anything like that unless a guy was relentlessly hitting on you

But he’d just become really lovey and clingy just as a way of reminding you that it was him who’d love you the most

Akashi

We all know he’s a classy gentleman

So you can’t expect any dramatic outbursts from him when he gets jealous

He’s always able to keep a calm and composed exterior (not that that’s ever stopped anyone from feeling threatened by him)

Anyone who knew Akashi knew never to mess with him

And they especially knew how much he valued you so one step too far would probably lead to their demise

However, there was one boy at a dinner party you both attended who somehow didn’t get the memo

You ended up being seated in the middle of him and Akashi, which gave him the opportunity to chat with you as much as he liked

Of course, Akashi wasn’t the most pleased to hear what he had to say to you

It was very obviously some awful flirting

You just thought he was being friendly so you entertained his conversation

“Y/N, maybe you should stop chatting and eat— your food is getting cold,” Akashi said in attempt to get him to stop— it was getting frustrating at this point

For the rest of the night, Akashi remained clung onto you with his arm around your waist, monitoring every movement of that boy

It was particularly strange because Akashi was the type to mingle at events like these so you knew something was wrong

Akashi’s cold gaze seemed to be enough to make the guy keep his distance though

Akashi is just too powerful lmao

Once the two of you got back home, Akashi pounced to kiss you almost immediately

“Woah what was that for?” you asked when you pulled away from the kiss that seemed so urgent

“You looked gorgeous tonight, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” Akashi said sweetly

“Aww, thank you, Sei.”

“A lot of people seemed to think so too by the looks of it. Especially that guy that sat next to you at the table,” Akashi pointed out

“Oh. Did you get jealous or something?” you questioned

“Well, yes. I want to be the only one looking at you like that. But I guess it can’t be helped sometimes,” he said, body still as close to yours as ever

“You’re the only one I want so you don’t have to worry for even a moment,” you said reassuringly

“Then that’s all that matters,” Akashi said with a smile before pulling you in for a soft kiss filled with nothing but adoration

[ribosoons]

Lubdub | Minghao

Minghao x Reader || Fluff

Warnings: none

Summary: you kept on professing your love to minghao everyday yet he kept on brushing it off

a/n: this prompt is given by a friend of mine lmao

"did i already told you that you make my heart go lubdab lubdab?"

"that is how heart normally sounds like y/n" minghao, as usual, sassyly answered your question.

"but you make it sounds like i am having a heart attack" you tried to push over your pick up line.

"then go see a doctor" it's been like a year and half since you start cooing minghao. you met his through a mutual friend seungkwan. ever since you met him at seungkwan's party you claimed that you felt love at first sight but all minghao is saying that love at first sight is just a complete bullshit.

of course you think differ because you strongly believe that you loved the man ever since you first saw him. day by day you felt like falling into his deep hole which made it difficult to move on and that is why you decided to pursue minghao.

it was kinda not going according to the plan because all minghao did was cockblock you but obviously that didn't stop you, in fact you accepted it as a challenge.

"here" you said while offering an iced coffee for him.

"what's that?" he asked.

"coffee duh, isn't obvious?" you gave minghao a teasing look.

"i mean what for?" he sigh. sometimes you wish minghao just stop denying your feelings for him and make up his mind whether he wants you back or not. the reason why you kept on pursuing him because he did not particularly rejected you, he's just denying the painfully obvious hints you are giving.

"jun texted me that you are burning your eyebrows off here just studying and i thought you might need some moral support happening here ya'no"

"i don't need moral support. thanks for the coffee though"

"always" you smiled at him and you're just looking right with each other.

"i should probably go" you mumbled and stumbled away from his seat.

"wait" he yelped. you quickly look at him with a smile and soft hums indicating asking what he wanted.

"can you stay for awhile?" he quickly shoved his face on the book he was reading and panikingly said, "i mean i am not forcing you to stay"

"ofcourse i can stay for awhile. i can even stay forever, all you need to do is ask" you giggled and sit infront of him.

you texted hoshi that you can't meet up with him for a paired project. it was due next month it is no biggie to skip a meeting for today. he replied with 'yeah it okay, i was about to text you to cancel because jihoon and i is planning on something. see u tomorrow :3. btw who r u with again?'

you simply replied a short explanation that you are with hao because he asked you to stay for a bit while he's doing his work. hoshi just replied with a laughing emoji saying that you are foul in love.

'what are you both?' you read hoshi's message.

'do we need a label?' you replied

'duh!'

'geez no need to be aggressive hahaha' you replied

'i really hope hao realizes your worth. you're worth it you know. you shouldn't be chasing a man' you took a deep sigh as you read hoshi's message.

"what's wrong?" hao asked since he noticed your deep sigh.

"nothing" you panicked, "it was just hoshi saying weird stuff" you explained.

"okay" he strugged.

'its okay shi, i made this decision. thank you for thinking that tho, i highly appreciate it :)' you finally replied.

'lmao look jihoon tripped' hoshi sent an attachment of jihoon laying down on the pavement. it was a set of picture and the last one is attacking hoshi's point of view. you let out a heartful of laugh.

saying that you really laughed at that set od photos is an understatement.

"what?" minghao again asked.

"its just hoshi sent me-" you were cut off by minghao's sigh.

"what?" you asked.

"you are spending your time with me but you are busy talking with other guys" he whined while pouting. you let out a chuckle and squeezed minghao's cheeks.

"oh no, is my minghao jealous?" you asked. he immediately grabbed your hands that was squeezing his cheeks and held it with both hands. he was looking right into your soul.

"yes your minghao is jealous, so can you please put down your phone and spend the rest of your day with me?" being speechless is an understatement. you were beyond shock. you did not expect minghao to answer your line because all you get is him blocking all your flattering words or changing the subject.

"what?" that is all you had said. minghao let go of your hands and put all his things on his bag and stood up. you were just sitting observing his next step. he was amused by your reaction.

"come on, stay with me forever?" he was standing right in front of you, smiling.

"of course" you let out a smile, he offered you his hands and you gladly took it, he helped you stood up from the chair you were sitting and you let him drag you he were planning you to bring.

"thank you" you mumbled.

"no, y/n. thank you. and also sorry i took so long"

[journen]

Hey there !! I am very in love with your art! What are some of your favorite things to draw ? Also, any favorite fanfictions that have inspired you ??

Hey there Anon! Sorry im getting to your message late as well, but thanks so much for the ask and your kind words lol! So to answer your first question, I feel like a lot of what I post are my fav things to draw, so the overt answer may be a bit obvious, im pretty see through I think aahahahha😅. But to get a little deeper… I think my actual favourite thing to draw is compelling story moments I think up in my head? Illustrate the scenes that I think would have happened, or could be cool to imagine happening, that never made it into the movies/shows, or perhaps never would? The downtime that characters have in between the big action scenes, lol. I really like trying to capture that stuff I think.

Don’t get me wrong tho, i LOVE action hahaha, but sometimes the quieter, more emotional or solemn moments feel more enriching for me to try to capture? Idk if im making any sense. 🤣 But yeah, story is always my biggest inspiration for drawing so when i think of a cool story moment for a character or characters I like, that’s my favourite thing to draw!

As for fav fanfics that inspired me… 😏 YES there are many. Fanfics literally give me life on the daily lolll. Here is a recent favourite of mine that has been v inspirational in terms of pushing myself to get better at storytelling HHAHAHAH

Rapture by @galateagalvanized

This one was literally SO GOOD!! I read it about a week ago, and the world building, details, oc villain, and plot twists are all so thorough and well thought out? I was so impressed and invested reading the whole thing!! DEF RECCOMMEND!!! 100%%%!!!!

Anyways this post is already so long(im so sorry) so i wont list more, but if you guys would like i can do another rec list like i did last year here! I read fanfic daily lol, idk what i would do without it and theres so many more amazing ones — you writers work wonders and give us the stories we want/that are so cool, but never got lol. I am inspired by all of you on the daily!! Im shy with tagging but if you guys want it ill do it.

Anyhow thanks again anon! You are so sweet and i hope you have a great week :D

[shinsoussimp]

hi 💀🤠🤠!! can I request something? may I request a Iida x male reader, where when reader confesses to Iida initially he gets turned down but it’s obvious the speed man likes him (but poor bby Iida is in ✨denial✨) and Uraraka (and maybe deku if he isn’t too pussy ykyk) make this plan to make Iida ‘fall in love’ with yn? (Even though he already is HAHSHD he just doesn’t realize it) sorry it’s a...odd request but it’s been plaguing my mind for forever 🥺 and it’s totally fine if you don’t do my request, no hard feelings !! Love you and YOU CAN USE COLOR IN THE ASKBOX NOW LOOK HAHAHA

a/n: mr mizunetzu i’m sorry it took so long for me to get this out 🥺🥺 i hope you like it!! this is such a fun request :D

Iida in denial

literally everyone knew about your massive crush on iida

and you had already come out as gay, nobody had a problem with it

the only problem was iida was oblivious 

speed man had no clue

you just had lunch with uraraka, todoroki, deku, and iida

ya know, the gang

and uraraka pulled you aside to talk about iida

“you have to tell him at some point! lord knows he’s not gonna figure it out on his own”

after her being on your ass for like the past two weeks you decide to finally do it

you’re gonna confess

-------------------------------------------

after all of your classes finished for the day, you and the rest of 1-a were walking back to the dorms. you decided that this would be the best time to get iida alone.

“iida? can i talk to you?” you ask awkwardly after tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

“uh, sure.” he shrugs, “but make it quick we must have out trash ready for bakugou in half an hour.” you smile and nod as you lead him off to the side of the dorms.

“there’s something i’ve been wanting to tell you... for a while now.”

“what is it?” he tilts his head slightly. you take a deep breath and stuff your hands in your pockets.

“i really like you. like a lot. i just had to get it off my chest.” iida’s face turned bright red and he had a weird feeling in his chest the second those words left your mouth. but he had never felt like this before, he didn’t know what it meant.

“i-i’m sorry, y/n. i don’t feel that way about you..” he felt weird saying that but it was the truth, right? so he patted your shoulder and promptly made his way back to his dorm to clean up a bit. you sat down by the tree behind you and sighed. you figured something like this would happen, being gay did significantly cut down your dating pool, but this one stung. 

you waddled all the way up to ochaco’s dorm, pouting the whole time. you knocked on the door and once she let you in, you flopped down face first onto her bed.

“i’m gonna assume it didn’t go well..” she placed a comforting hand on your back. you shook your head and groaned.

“i thought i had at least a bit of a chance! i mean no straight man cares about organization that much..” deku’s laugh makes you jump, you didn’t even realize he was in the room but there he was, sitting at ochaco’s desk.

“maybe he’s just confused right now.. i mean if i’m being honest it kinda seems like he likes you.” deku says softly trying to comfort you as well.

"whatever i'm gonna go take a nap." you groan as you mope out of the room.

"denial!!" ochaco shouts once the door shuts behind you, causing deku to jump.

"what are you talking about?"

"iida's in denial! he likes y/n it's so obvious, he just doesn't know it yet."

"i knew i wasn't the only one who saw it!" deku cheers as ochaco pulls out a blank pieces of paper, "what are you doing?"

"we.. are going to get y/n and iida together." she smiles devilishly as she pulls the cap off of a pen.

--------------------

ochaco and deku were on their third try to get iida to realize his feelings. they had set up for you and iida to train together but last minute, iida cancelled.

"uraraka.. they say third times a charm, our third try didn't work."

"no! i have one more idea! this one's gonna work, trust me." they decided on a blind date to make iida realize he likes you. deku's job was to get iida to go and ochaco for you. she barged into your dorm and slammed the door behind her.

"Y/N!" she shouts so loud you almost fell off your chair, "you're going on a date tonightt~" you shake your head and put your face in your hands.

"don't you think it's kinda early for something like that? i mean i just got rejected.."

"nothing like a cute stranger to act as your pick me up am i right??" she could tell how upset you really were about this whole thing so she squatted down next to you and put her hand on your shoulder calmingly, "y/n, this guy is a friend of mine and he's super sweet. why not just go have fun and relax? if nothing comes from it at least you get free dinner."

"ughh fine. i'll go.. only for the free food."

--------------------

after showering and getting ready, you decided to do something nice for whoever your date was and go get some flowers. you picked up a nice bouquet and made your way to the  restaurant with ochaco still by your side.

"are you sure he'll like them?" you asked softly.

"they're his favorite color! i know he will." you smiled and asked once again what this guy's name was, and of course ochaco tells you that it's a suprise. once you get to the front door you see deku standing there as well.

"he's here before you so he must be excited!" ochaco cheers.

"he's at the booth by the side window." deku says with a suspicious smile on his face. you say bye to them both as they wish you good luck.

you take a deep breath as you walk inside, and when you get up to the booth deku mentioned you see none other than tenya iida.

"y-y/n!" he stammers with wide eyes.

"iida.." you quickly hide the flowers behind your back as heat creeps up the back of your neck, "what are you doing here?"

"deku said he was setting me up on a blind date. what are you doing here?"

"ochaco set me up on a blind da-" realization hits you and you look down at the floor awkwardly, "y-you uh... you don't have to stay. i'm sorry about all this."

"what's behind your back?" iida asks with a hint of red on his cheeks. you laugh awkwardly and reveal the bouquet of blue flowers.

"i promise i didn't know about this. i know you said you didn't feel the same way but, heh.. deku and ochaco can be very persistent as you know."

"you.. you can sit. if you'd like." you sit down across from him, setting the flowers down on the table. iida takes them and looks closer at them, smiling softly.

"this can be just as friends you know? like i know how you feel so-"

"you picked these out for me?" you laughed awkwardly and explained that ochaco told you his favorite color so you thought they would be nice. but your words fade out when you see how sincere iida looks while looking at you.

"is everything okay?" he takes a deep breath and stands up and bows to you.

"please forgive me. i'm stupid! you're amazing and awesome and great and i shut you down. but i realized i like you too! so, will you give me another chance??" he's literally at a 90 degree angle in front of you trying to win you back, you can't help but laugh.

"iida sit down!" you giggle. instead of sitting down across from you like before, he sat down on your side of the booth, grabbing you hands softly.

"i'm really sorry for the grief i put you through, y/n.. i-i would like to be your boyfriend please!" you smile, looking right into his eyes.

"i would like that too." once he hears this, he can't stop himself from pecking your forehead. he pulls away with wide eyes and a red face.

"i'm sorry i didn't ask if that was okay! was that okay?" he asks softly.

"it was more than okay."

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE BLOOD Vol.2: Mukami Kou [Track 3+4]

Original title: 裏表 & ヴァンパイアのエサ

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 2: Mukami Kou [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Translator’s note: So far, Kou’s MB CD has been not as intense as I expected it to be. Especially since Yuma’s CD surprised me with how sadistic he was in that one compared to his actual MB route. Of course, I can’t say the MC is having the time of her life (or maybe she is ;) ) but at least I don’t fear for her life for once. xD

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 3: Two-faced

*Rustle*

“Ahー This is such a drag...I’m seriously pissed off...Besides, why do I have to constantly tell you to do things which should be blatantly obvious? You’re such a pain to deal with. ...Are you doing it on purpose?”

*Rustle rustle*

“You deserve an award for getting me this agitated. Perhaps I should be impressed rather than upset?”

*Rustle*

[00:33] “Ahー But it’s already too late...I want to just rip you to shreds already. I can feel something aching inside of me...I’m just dying to see you cry out in pain. Fufu~ I’m sure that’s what you want too though. ...I’d love to see you all miserable~”

*Cling*

“Whenever I spot a girl so pitiful, I just want to torment her more and more, you see? Girls who play the victim card and come at you begging to pity their miserable selves piss me off beyond belief. Don’t you feel the same?”

*Rustle*

[01:20] “You’re making that exact expression right now. ...Sorry to burst your bubble, but that won’t work on me. For one, I never kidnapped you to dote on you. Well, I’m sure deep down you’d much rather have me mess around with you as well.”

You deny it.

*Thud*

“I want to see you rejoice as I inflict pain upon you. And the expression those guys will make the moment they find out...Hah! ...I’m sure it’ll look priceless. Hahaha...I wonder what you’ll do when you decide to surrender (1) to me?”

You tell him that’s a bad idea.

“...You think they’ll kill me? Just the idea of that makes me shudder with anticipation...~”

Track 4: A Vampire’s Prey

*Cling cling*

*Rustle rustle*

“...There we go! How’s that? I tied your hands together with my belt.”

You protest.

“Fufu...~ But you’re used to this treatment, aren’t you? I’m sure they’ve done the wildest things to you up till now. Being tied up should be a given by this point, no?”

*THUD*

“Ah, come on, don’t make a fuss...! I know I said I’d hurt you but you love that kinda stuff, don’t you? I bet you’re actually eagerly awaiting them as I speak...”

*Rustle*

[00:36] “These fangs of mine, that is. ...Right? Just behave and let me suck your blood? I’m sure it’ll feel amaaaazing. I’ll plunge the fangs you love oh-so much inside of you from head to toe. I bet you’re happy you get to be pleasured by my fangs, no? ...They belong to none other than Kou-kun after all! No need to still try and act as if you want to escape. That goes for the fake fear as weーー”

You push him away.

*THUD*

“...Woah!?”

*Thud*

“Ah...W-What was that just now...? Don’t tell me you...actually pushed me away...?”

*Rustle rustle*

[01:26] “Heeh...You’ve chosen to reject me, huh? This isn’t just you pretending, is it? Well, even if it was an act, I’m not letting you get away with it. It’s been a while since I’ve had a girl this feisty...!”

Kou restrains you.

“Do you have any idea what kind of position you’re in right now...? I’ve been trying my hardest to be nice and all...Are you really just a hopeless masochist after all? If only you had behaved while I was still being nice to you, you wouldn’t have had to face this traumatic experience now.”

He suffocates you.

[02:08] “Hmm~ I bet it hurts. I’m making it hard on you after all. ...Suffer some more. I heard that it doesn’t take much to strangle a human to death. Honestly, they’re such weak, fragile creatures. I wonder why their vital points are all so easy to target like this? If I were to slash open this large vein running here...you’d die as well, right?”

*Rustle*

“I wonder what’ll happen if I pierce my fangs through...When I look at it like that, it honestly makes sense why humans are just prey to us Vampires. You’re made to make it easy for us to bite and dig in. Hah...Just like this...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Mmh...”

Kou bites you.

*Gulp gulp*

“Mmph...Nn...”

*Gulp*

“Hah...”

*Sluuuurp*

*Gulp gulp*

[03:21] “Ah...Haah...Waah~ Blood’s gushing out from the hole I pierced through your skin. Fufufu~ That must be a sign telling me to suck even more, no? Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Mmh...Hmm~? No wonder everyone says your blood is special...It really is different from any other girl’s I’ve had. ーー That being said, your blood is truly the only thing you’ve got going for you, huh? I can’t see how you yourself would be of any value. Yet everyone yearns after you...Is it really just because your blood is delicious?”

*Rustle*

[04:16] “Ah...What a drag...Maybe I should have waited until you had taken all of your clothes off by yourself before restraining you. Then it wouldn’t be that difficult to check your whole body both in and out. I made a blunder.”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says ‘when you open your body to/for me’. 

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 15 rewatch thoughts

- mayfeld does hear when the droid talks to him the first time, you can see him pretending not to like he hopes he’ll just go away haha. I also guess he’s had a lot of time to think, picking apart pieces of the large fascist machine he used to be a part of and going over everything he clearly regrets 

- hahaha fennec and boba are in the back intensely keeping watch the entire time they’re on the prison planet. I suppose a good two thirds of this crew is uuuuh extremely wanted by the new republic lol

- the thing din’s voice does at the end when he says “but you still know your imperial clearances and protocols. don’t you.” is beyond fucking words, it sends a chill right through me

- 

1) din fiddling with that panel; I think he’s phenomenally nervous behind the helmet here, that’s the sort of keeping his hands busy he does when he’s anxious and 2) why the hell does boba have this many chairs instead of like space for cargo haha does he throw bounty hunter parties in here or what

- ngl boba correctly guessing at a glance what sort of ore they’re mining and informing everyone in his sardonic deadpan voice is Big Sexy  

I love how he and fennec are standing together when they’re both present in these opening scenes too, first at the very back when they’re keeping a lookout: 

and then in the foreground while they discuss the scan 

it’s a nice subtle way to get across that they already have a dynamic, they’re somewhat used to working together as a unit at this point. (she’s also looking over at him when she asks what they might be mining in there, like she’s mostly asking his opinion instead of opening it to the floor. they’re talking the mission out between them before din enters the conversation)

- the inside of slave 1 when the ship’s moving makes me a little bit motion sick, I really love seeing it but I hope we don’t stay in here too often haha

- aaaw the small weary sigh din gives upon realizing none of his bros can go with mayfeld. I’m sorry about basically your entire life buddy

-

the awkward way din adjusts the helmet like he’s trying to get used to the way it feels ;______;  

- ah the distinct implication that mayfeld is needling din about this because he’s actually feeling super uncomfortable being back in empire gear and he needs to transfer that discomfort over onto someone else so he won’t have to feel through it... very psychologically understandable and such a fucking piece of shit asshole character trait to give in to haha

- din’s level of side eye is so epic you can see it straight through the helmet fhaskjfhd

- neat detail: din’s head turns slightly toward mayfeld when he calls mandalorians a ‘race’. (it’s sort of cool  that we as the audience know why that bothers him, but mayfeld probably didn’t even pick up on it). also shows that mayfeld doesn’t actually quite understand what he’s talking about, even when he makes decent points he’s caught up in his own myopic nihilistic point of view. ‘we’re all the same’ ------> ‘everyone’s secretly as shitty as me deep down’. (which also betrays a lot of self loathing, since we see later he does have the capacity to NOT be that shitty when he chooses to. rick famuyiwa manages to get a LOT of really interesting nuanced stuff into this character in two short episodes, that’s super impressive)   

the bright sunny look on mayfeld’s face when din finally gives in and takes the bait tho fsajdkfhasj he’s awful but that’s very funny

- rip all these excellent dudes who really only wanted to accomplish the noble goal of ruining the empire’s entire day and didn’t know they were also trying to blow up My Dad Who Does Not Deserve Any Of This, it’s honestly just really sad that there’s no moment to talk that out

well at least they blew up the entire refinery on their way out, I’m sure that’s the way they would have wanted their memories honored lol

- the comedy beat of din running out of ammo for the first time ever and the music briefly cutting out for it is so so good for me 

hahahaha din seems to actually take a moment to be a little aghast at that dude who ends up crushed under the treads of the tank thing, he’s just sort of staring for a few seconds too long and that’s how pirate nr 2 takes him by surprise and shatters his shoulder armour 

- I feel a bit bad -- two of the ‘pirates’ try to hold on to each other for balance and then din punches them apart and off the tank :( I mean it’s not like he could just let them murderate him either but like. ouch I’m guessing this one might haunt him for a while for several reasons huh

(the sequence is actually this guy, let’s call him pirate 3, swings the spear at din and misses, instead hitting his buddy who’s trying to get to his feet, then looks horrified and grabs for him to make sure he doesn’t fall off, and then... mando’s forehead happens to them haha)

- poor fennec and cara just running up that hill while everything’s on fire, they must be wondering what the FUCK is going on (at least cara knows that things blowing up is a sure sign din djarin is in the middle there somewhere)

- everything about carano in real life aside for one second -- I do like that we get this contrast in build between our main female characters of the episode and the way their costume designs enhance it

 - awwww the little gesture din does with his hand after he removes it from mayfeld’s chest after stopping him from leaving, it’s just so... sweet. it’s a little bit appeal, a little bit reassurance, it just lightens/softens the tone of what he says a bit (he has quite a lot of like... not conciliatory mannerisms exactly, but small touches here and there that are there to communicate that he’s not angry/aggressive or trying to be a dick about it even when he’s emphatic. I keep wondering how much that is just him being him and how much is him being practiced at settling other people’s hot tempers)  

- this shot is just... genius

it’s din seen entirely from the outside, with nothing of what we’ve learned to recognize as him for almost two seasons now in view -- not even his face, which we have at least a tenuous fledgling attachment to from before. it’s like we get introduced to him almost as if anew again and again in this episode, just like he’s getting introduced to new aspects of himself and what he’s willing to do and having to struggle to find ways to have that fit with who he is. his discomfort and stress is our discomfort and stress. it’s so interesting 

- I can’t stop cackling at this moment even in all the tension -- you only get a sliver of din’s profile but you can feel the sheer MURDER radiating off him sdhfasjk

- aaaaaaaagh the way you get a whole different view of din’s habitual impassiveness when you can actually see his face... the way he keeps appealing to mayfeld ‘just don’t make more trouble, just shut up’, the way he goes completely silent and watchful and frozen..... those are all really obvious trauma responses, and it leads you to wonder how often he touches into that even when he’s in his element, when he’s got the full armour on. hmngh my heart  

- ‘the believer’ is such a galaxy brain title for this episode, because it could be referring to either of the three men around this table or all of them at once. (and crucially the only person whose beliefs aren’t in a living, breathing state of adapting to the world around them is the empire officer, with his horrific inhuman ideology. mayfeld thinks he believes in nothing, and proves himself explosively wrong by the end of the episode, and it’s redeeming for him in some capacity. din is facing a more internal dilemma of different parts of his (and his culture’s) beliefs/values clashing and having to decide which one’s more important, to his identity and to how to exist in the world as a person (and love for the baby wins out supremely in the end. of course it does Y_____Y). the empire dude only sees the same sterile fascist world at the end of his shit rainbow that he’s clearly always done, even when faced with proof that it’s untenable. (I mean he wouldn’t give a fuck that it’s immoral because he’s y’know evil, but he’s not even fazed by the fact that the empire provably FAILED, and failed so quickly) his belief is a dead and deadening thing to contrast the others. man when this show goes off with the themes it goes OFF haha) 

- love the triumphant heroic mando music kicking in as we’re finally getting to pick off imps, love that for us 

- din’s protective instincts at work again, he helps mayfeld to his feet and makes sure he’s safely on board before going further in himself ;_______;

- fennec’s professional approval at mayfeld’s shot hahaha. well I guess he was supposed to be a sharpshooter back in the day huh

I do Not think she likes mayfeld even after all that, though, the withering look she sends him on her way past... should have killed him stone dead on the spot

- seeing din back in the armour is like a physical relief, I can breathe again haha

- tfw you catch yourself thinking ‘at least when all this is over we can go back to the razor crest and everything will be normal again’ and then you rEMEMBER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[blackberry-gingham]

Logan, Toad, and Kurt bby for the ask game >;))

Alright PHEW finally doing these, sorry lol. Someone else also requested toad so I'll do Kurt and Logan for now but toad will be up next ;)

Gotta use a cut bc you know me and my long ass speeches lol

Logan/Wolverine

Favorite thing about them

Hard to say tbh, but I think it's a mixture of his aesthetic with his tough guy look and cowboy/lumberjack outfits as well as his personality

I love any character with a deeper/inner animalistic nature, especially if it's a masculine character. Lots of room to explore the metaphors behind masculine energy and it's extremes clashing against a civilized society. That's kind of it tbh lol

Least favorite thing

THE FACT THAT HE CANT TAKE AN L IN THE DATING REALM AAAAAAAAAA

He dates around so much as a coping mechanism to deal with his own feelings of insufficiency, so in that sense it makes sense- but still, it's a little annoying when he's C O N S T A N T L Y pushed up against Jean, who can be just as bad sometimes considering she has cyk already. Like smh, at least let wolverine pursue a relationship he can actually ACHIEVE instead of this like "I'm so sad nooooo" plot snsksksk

Favorite line

Anytime in the cartoon when he says something along the lines of "oh yeah, well do you have THESE" and then pops his claws like he's insecure and trying to prove himself. That's always hilarious and definitely doesn't happen literally every other episode hahaha

BrOTP

Another oof, lol. I always picture him more as a loner, but if I had to assign him a best bro- it's pretty close between either colossus or nightcrawler, maybe with some favoritism towards colossus. Just two strong asf, indestructible asf dudes being bros

OTP

Well, I've moved away from my wolverine obsession now lol, so I can let him have an in-universe otp. Gosh, I want to say Storm the most. I love their dynamic of calming feminine energy soothing the masculine SO so much 😭

The only thing that keeps me from raving and screaming over this ship is that I really dislike how their relationship makes Storm out to be his PAAAAAINFULLY obvious B plan, second to Jean sksksk. If their relationship was the first stop instead of the love triangle, I would never shut up lmao

nOTP

Dnsksksksk there's not a lot of ships I don't support, but him and sabretooth, him and jubilee (I've never seen this thank God, so hopefully it's not a thing), and him and nightcrawler (Kurt is MINE 👹👹)

Random HC

He can purr, but not in a cat way. It's kind of like chuffing or soft growling

Unpopular opinion

I honestly think the only opinion I could consider as unpopular would be that I don't like shipping him with Jean or Kurt lol.

On a real note tho, uuuuuh I wish we got to see some actual character behind him instead of him being regulated to "Angry Little Dude Who Stabs Things" all the time. That has its place, sure, but a well done character arc in mainstream media would be cool too

Song I associate with him

The one I love - REM

The concept of using romantic "love" solely as a means of distraction from your problems in life is very him. In fact, this is possibly the only song I can comfortably associate with wolverine, bc anything else I can think of just doesn't fit his personal style sound wise

Favorite picture

These ones lol. Any of the rare, goofy art is PEAK quality, but the really emotional stuff is great too

Kurt/Nightcrawler

Favorite thing

I like him when he's faithfully and accurately portrayed as a Catholic, that's pretty great! I also like him for his introverted and empathetic personality of course. I would marry that man irl, no option for divorce in a HEARTBEAT 😩🤞🏻

I would say same as wolverine in that I like exploring the potential animalistic nature behind him, but he doesn't really have that tbh, so if I do that at all it's more like in my head and for fun. Sometimes tho.

Least favorite thing

Fjejskskks when his current writer gets disrespectful with portraying him according to his faith. I hate that shit man, like FR.

Aside from that, I REALLY don't like his early days in the comics where he was like this creepy as fuck flirt like ?!?! Idk how to describe it other than he somehow managed to make WOLVERINE look like a nice, polite guy

Favorite line

Any of his theological stuff from the animated series, bc I can't lie, that stuff was SHOCKINGLY accurate on the theology

Although, if I could just copy and paste all his dialogue from the animated series point blank period, I'd do that too lol. He has surprisingly interesting things to say about mutant existence and his own experiences and his interactions with other characters- I just wish he had more episodes 🥲

brOTP

This has no basis in the comics, but I imagine him and Toad as like unlikely, but solid bros. Toad is like "hey, another guy who looks like a freak, we could bond over our misery" and Kurt would take the opportunity to try and lift mort's spirits, maybe see a bright side instead of getting so downtrodden about being physically mutated

Healthy and supportive friendships 👍🏻👍🏻

Although, also him and rogue tbh. I like their psudeo siblings dynamic plus the difference in cultures adds some entertainment

OTP

Me, obviously lol. My ride or die f/o, to be completely honest

nOTP

Basically everyone, bc I'm a bitter ass bitch. Sorry 😪

Random HC

Kurt can also purr, but that's boring so I'll also add that I think he gets more mutated as he ages. Like thicker fur, slightly longer ears, slightly harsher facial features, that stuff. He won't let on, but it gets to him a little

Also one more for free: he is the younger one between him and rogue. She will introduce him as her little brother at every opportunity possible, just cause lol

Unpopular opinion

Probably that I like him best when he's a staunch catholic, to be honest

Song I associate with him

TAKE MY HAND BY CHIEF GHOUL WHICH YOU SHOULD STREAM. GO. DO IT. STREAM IT NOW FOR MOODY FALL AND SOUTHERN GOTHIC VIBES.

Favorite picture

I'm ngl, anything that makes his face nice and dynamic and pointy is pretty good. I like seeing artists not afraid to make him look non human as possible without getting too crazy, but of course you can always get me with any of the particularly goofy art too.

Come ask me again after I get my God Loves, Man Kills comic tho- that's the one that inspired X2 and I'm told it's a banger. This panel alone got me losing my shit lmao

[nutty1005]

“A Dream Like A Dream” Fan Review Report by 十月息

Original Article: https://weibo.com/6574125081/KcrfzBjYL?type=comment#_rnd1619312989712 Original Author: 十月息

(TN: This is the translation of the famous 10,000 character repo on Weibo, so be warned that this is very long article. Permission to translate granted by OP.)

Part 1 – Review of Xiao Zhan’s Acting According to the Script

Finding Patient No. 5 B

At the start of the play, there were many people surrounding the stage, I was very frantically searching for Xiao Zhan. One of the ladies besides me patted me and said, that one with the messenger bag! After that I immediately found him. His legs were really long! So, at the start of the play, watch out for the messenger bag! (That was the look in the waiting photo.) After this, I was following him around using my binoculars, hahaha.

Patient No. 5 and His Wife’s Initial Encounter

This part was very interesting. No. 5 was queuing behind his wife, then still a stranger, and buying movie tickets, and his wife had an argument with her then lover on the phone, and rashly stuffed her other movie ticket and grilled corn cob into No. 5’s hands. When handed the movie ticket, No. 5 was still able to comprehend, but after he was given the corn cob, he was starting to get confused — Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 widened his eyes, stared at the corn cob in his hand, and then turned around and looked around, looked at the people queuing behind him. In the next second, the 7 or 8 people behind him magically took out their own corn cob, as though getting a corn cob at the movies was a perfectly normal thing to do, and if No. 5 did not have one he would be out of place. There was full comedic effect, the whole theater laughed, No. 5 was embarrassed as he turned around and entered the cinema holding the corn cob. Starting from here, we could see that No. 5’s body language had completely corresponded with that of a comedic trope, it was relaxed and lively, and even when he met with unexpected situations, it was clumsily adorable.

Patient No. 5 Eating Sushi with His Wife

This segment was at the stage left, which also happened to be my visual blind spot, so I could only see the projection from the big screen, which was very regrettable. His wife said the the person she just argued with on the phone was a pig, and she did not want to talk about it, so when No. 5 mentioned that person, he used snorting to represent him, “…. that *snort snort*…”, that snorting was in imitation of a pig, it was really too cute! Xiao Zhan had also snorted in “Our Song”, here, No. 5’s snorting was even more lively, to the point that I was stunned, took 2 seconds to react in my brain that, oh my goodness that was actually Xiao Zhan snorting! It was simply too cute!!

His wife had squeezed a large amount of wasabi on the sushi, No. 5 said “no one puts so much wasabi”, (TN: Chinese had their own term for wasabi, jiemo, but Xiao Zhan used the Japanese term instead), I really loved it when he used languages other than Chinese, I just felt that it encompassed so much cuteness, moreover it was with the Taiwanese accent that belonged to No. 5, it was even more adorable. Both of them ate that wasabi laced sushi, and coughed wildly due to the irritation, Xiao Zhan was coughing so vigorously, by the sound of it I thought he was going to cough out his lungs, just exactly as though he really ate a huge amount of wasabi. But amazingly, his voice was exceptionally clear while coughing, perhaps because his voice for lines had became deeper more robust, in comparison, he did not deliberately deepen his voice while coughing, so he sounded literally like a young man.

No. 5 continued to chat with his wife, in this conversation, No. 5’s Taiwanese accent was even more obvious, which once again became part of my adorable collection of “Xiao Zhan’s various accents”, I was quietly punching the air in my mind!

His wife told him that she had never seen her father before, and she was unable to face him, No. 5 then told his wife to close her eyes and give it a try, she was initially unwilling, No. 5 coaxed her gently, and then she closed her eyes. Thereafter, No. 5 started talking in a old man’s voice deliberately, “My girl! Turn around and look at Papa! Papa owed you too much, forgive Papa, I’ve also missed you terribly! My good child! Papa bought a very beautiful doll to meet you!” Everyone could attempt to see how you would sound like when you talk in an older voice deliberately, it would definitely be quite funny, when Xiao Zhan acted it live, it was even more funny, the audiences laughed heartily. What made me even more excited was that this was the only the beginning of No. 5’s story, but I had already heard Xiao Zhan snorting like a pig, Xiao Zhan speaking Japanese, Xiao Zhan coaxing people, Xiao Zhan talking like an old man, I felt as though I was exploring all the different voices of Xiao Zhan! When Xiao Zhan spoke like an old man, it was also very cute!

Almost forgot a very important point, that is from this old man act and the snorting previously, we could actually see that No. 5 was very good at flirting, and it was the sort that was very natural and well practiced! In the instant as he acted as an old man, besides laughing with the audiences, I also thought in envy, good job young man, you are flirting again and again! I just had to say this, Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 was really very charming in and out.

Patient No. 5 Begging The Doctor to Save His Child

This part seemed ordinary based on the script, but you would only feel the amazement when watching it live! When looking at the script, it seemed like only the wife was begging the doctor, but in fact I remembered that it was his wife who stood further away from the doctor as she carried the child, No. 5 was beside the doctor, just like the stage photo shared by XZ Studio. His wife was more emotional from start till end, No. 5 was initially more calm, and even looked back to signal his wife to calm down. But later on as the doctor kept rejecting him, No. 5 started to lose the controlled calmness on the surface: he turned around and kneeled before the doctor, begging pitifully, his voice full of hurt and pain, with an agonizing crying tone. In here, his emotional progression to explosive was not that long, but it was very excellent, that moment he was just a father of a child, with an unbearable pain of loss on his shoulders. The doctor continued to refuse, No. 5 said no more, and the whole theater went silent.

Patient No. 5 Getting His Wife to Pick Up the Phone

After the child passed away, the relationship between No. 5 and his wife drifted apart, and No. 5 contacted that strange disease. At the same time, he started receiving calls in the middle of the night, but no one spoke after he picked up. There was one night, it was rare that No. 5 was at home with his wife, and he picked up that call again. No. 5 yelled into the receiver for a long time but yet no one replied, so he yelled at it, “I’m going to fight it out with you… after all, the telephone fee’s on you!” His tone was incensed, but yet the words he used were exceptionally funny, it was supposed to be a scary suspense story, but it wore the cape of a comedy.

The lines following that were similar. No. 5 finally yelled at the receiver, “Fine, I’m done playing with you today!” Till then it was still quite normal, but unexpectedly before he hung up he suddenly yelled another line: “Good! Night!” This type of contrast continued to add comedic colors to the play, because No. 5 was actually speaking harshly, but in the end he still politely said good night, but yet that good night was still harsh and irate. I believed that no matter how unclear the image of No. 5 was in the audiences’ hearts, in this moment they would definitely feel that No. 5 had a cuteness stemming from the contrast in his personality, he was interesting, cute and lively.

I feel that this was something that was hard to control in performance. On a whole, “A Dream Like A Dream” was a very serious and standard play, and would occasionally use comedic tropes to balance the heavy keynote. Hence when actors were performing, they had to say those random lines in a serious tone, and if done too lightly, the audiences would not feel that it was funny, but if done too heavily, it would destroy the pace of the story. Whereas Xiao Zhan’s performance was simply just right, it allowed audiences to easily understand the funny bits, but yet it did not breakaway from the general tone of the story. I remembered when we studied or appreciated ancient poems in high school, there was this term called “using lively music to contrast sorrow”, in fact “A Dream Like A Dream” was like this. The more amusing the funny parts were, after the audiences were done laughing and continued to immerse themselves in the story, the heavier they would feel.

Following this was the part, which Xiao Zhan angrily yelled at his wife to pick up the call, that many reports had mentioned. There was actually a progression, the script as below, the parts in parenthesis was how I remembered it was acted out:

No. 5: It's your turn to pick it up. (His tone was quite calm）

His Wife: What for do I pick it up? No. 5: It could be for you. (He was starting to raise his voice)

His Wife: How could that be?

No. 5: Secret lover! You should pick it up. (You could hear the anger)

His Wife: Why?

No. 5: Because it is yours. (His tone had already went from questioning to factual) Every time he calls, not long after, you would return, I think he hasn't finished talking to you. (This looked like narration, but in fact when Xiao Zhan said this he was speaking hastily, already at the brink of exploding, his voice was very loud, and was starting to ring in the audiences' ears. In reality when someone hears a tone like this, we would subconsciously avoid it, as we feel that this person would explode the very next second.) You pick it up. (I was starting to shake)

His Wife: For what? It's not mine. (I was starting to fear for his wife, I mean was this not adding oil to the fire? Please don't... I was praying this in my heart, because the very next moment, lightning was going to strike!)

No. 5: PICK IT UP! [TN: The word used was a single syllable, jie.]

Just that word, the tone was so harsh, I could say that I have never encountered this in my life; the sound was so loud, it almost deafened me, the word was echoing within the hall, and gave me a feeling that when Xiao Zhan yelled out this word, he was also resonating with it. My father’s temper was not that good, and he would yell at me when I was a child, his voice was loud enough, but I actually felt that it was not as loud as a third of Xiao Zhan’s. Not only the voice was loud, the tone was very fierce, so fierce that if he was your boss, you would have kneeled before him, if he was one of your peers, you would have felt weakness in my legs and could not even run away if you wanted to. At that time in the theater, I was truly frightened, I felt as though my heart had frozen in my chest, and then there were palpitations, I felt as though all the yelling I had received previously were not worth mentioning. The whole theater definitely had a fright, because after Xiao Zhan yelled it, the whole theater was silent, not just ordinary silence when watching a play, but even the sounds of breathing stopped, the air was scarily quiet.

Patient No. 5 Searching for His Wife among the Passersby

No. 5 and his wife went to watch another movie, just like how they first met. When queuing, his wife went out to pick up a call, and suddenly disappeared, No. 5 started searching for her everywhere. Over here as well, I did not feel that it was very emotional when reading the script, No. 5 was like going through the process of looking for his wife, but when I actually watched the performance, it was another of Xiao Zhan’s highlight.

No. 5 was holding onto the grilled corn cob, and grabbed hold of a passerby, asked, “Sorry, can I ask if you saw my wife?” but this passerby did not hear him. No. 5 continued to run forward, the other passersby were stoic and slow, No. 5 frantically walked through them and seemed especially out of place. He grabbed the next passerby, continued asking, “Excuse me, did you see my wife?” The passerby continued to ignore him. I don’t know how to explain this specifically, as these two lines were similar, but the emotions in No. 5 was obviously changing, the sense helplessness and breakdown that was transmitted through his tone and his body language completely grabbed the hearts of the audiences.

No. 5 continued to grab passersby, asked, “Sorry, did anyone see a lady holding two grilled corn cobs? Her hair is slightly yellow, she’s very pretty, her eyes are very big…” “Excuse me, did you see my wife? She’s of mixed race, she never saw her father, our child died, she’s very upset… I’m really not feeling well… did anyone see?” I believe that even if I did not describe Xiao Zhan’s tone, we could see from the lines that No. 5 had already went from precise questioning to emotional rambling, the lines contained family background information unrelated to the search. In the final questioning, he was already in crying tones.

After countless of his question left ignored, No. 5 finally despaired, he stopped in his tracks, broke down and shouted, “Did anyone see my wife?! She just bought two grilled corn cobs!!!” This howl completely used all his strength and was even hysterical, it was filled with helplessness, despair and utter collapse. This lines actually contained comedy, since who would have brought up grilled corn cob at this point in time? But No. 5 did, and this was similar to what I said previously about “using lively music to contrast sorrow”, the more ridiculous the trope was, the better the contrast could highlight the sorrow in the reality, and in reality most of the tragedies did not happen like a Shakespearean story, but accumulated from the smallest and most ridiculous things.

In comparison to the doctor scene, I felt that this No. 5 broke my heart even more… Because he asked different people again and again, but he was ignored and tossed aside, bit by bit, he despaired and broke down… He used all of his strength but he could not do anything, except cry and howl helplessly…

Patient No. 5 and Jiang Hong at the Laundromat

This was a completely propless performance, with the exception of a laundry basket, there was no props, so Xiao Zhan was performing with the air as he opened the washing machine, took his clothes, folded them and placed them in the laundry basket. But his movements were very natural and ordinary, it was not deliberate, you could understand what he was doing with a look, i.e. that sequence of actions I mentioned previously. The way he folded (air) clothes was very cute, and there was the part that he did not know how to use the washing machine, and was poking poking poking at the air, that was also super cute! Haha.

Patient No. 5 at Jiang Hong’s Apartment

After No. 5 caught his disease, his posture, etc, had started displaying the weakness of his illness, Xiao Zhan very accurately portrayed this point, no matter whether it was his walking speed or his hunched back, as well was occasional coughing and panting, constantly reminded audiences that No. 5 was a terminal patient with not many days left. However in comparison to these, what best displayed No. 5’s illness was when he went up the staircase to Jiang Hong’s apartment, Jiang Hong stayed on the 7th floor, every time No. 5 went upstairs it felt like an ordeal and a massive challenge, he kept holding onto the handrails (which of course did not exist, there were no staircases onstage, he was acting with air), he would rest every 2 steps, panting, and made us feel that No. 5’s health was rapidly leaving his body.

After this was basically the envy inciting scene of the whole play. Jiang Hong’s apartment was very small, No. 5 could only sit on her bed. So we slowly watched how No. 5 and Jiang Hong got closer and closer… Amitabha. I do not want to describe it in detail, ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡. There was this part that was very cute, Jiang Hong said, “No other person ever lived in this space. When I first moved in there wasn’t even space to have a cat, but now there’s a man, when he lies down, he uses up the whole bed.” After the line ended, Xiao Zhan basically laid on the bed in a 大 shape, instantly occupying the whole bed, both of his legs even extended beyond the bed. The audiences laughed at that moment, and I also directly understood even more that Xiao Zhan is really tall! Big sized! Before that when Xiao Zhan curled on his side on the bed, he was still very big.

Patient No. 5 and Jiang Hong’s Couple Details

It was not that moment of intimacy that made me envious, but it was the continued subconscious intimacy that really made me envious. No. 5 and Jiang Hong became a couple, they were like they had been together for a very long time, the intimacy was natural and well practiced. When she and No. 5 walked together, he would hold her hands; when they stood side by side, he would hold her waist; when they spoke face to face he would look down at her, very focused on her eyes, as though only she existed in the world, and would also gently stroke the back of her head, or smooth her hair; sometimes No. 5 would even slightly adjust her collar… etc, every detail was exceptionally natural.

When No. 5 and Jiang Hong went to see a gypsy with spiritual powers, that person told No. 5 to look at the crystal ball like how he would look at his lover, No. 5 turned around, looked up and looked lovingly at Jiang Hong standing behind him, saying coquettishly, “Yup, looking at my lover,” just like a willful boy in his first relationship who is unable to leave his lover. In that moment I became extremely envious.

Patient No. 5 and Jiang Hong at Normandy

This section is completely No. 5’s highlight!

At the start in the town’s hotel, the Grandpa gave No. 5 a flower circlet, No. 5 took it and placed it on his head. This was just right on stage left, which was my blind spot, I could only see it from the blurry screen, I was so angry and regretful! I could only imagine Tang San wearing the flower circlet, when Xiao Zhan wore it live it would definitely look a lot better, I could not see that with my own eyes, that was the biggest regret of my life ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡.

When entering the hotel, the receptionist said it was 1,550 Francs per night, Jiang Hong immediately felt that it was too expensive and tugged No. 5, but No. 5 was instead very relaxed and yet unyielding as he said, “It’s almost the same, it’s all this price! It’s reasonable!” “No matter, I want it, I’m paying.” And then he pulled Jiang Hong into the hotel. That time I could only think, good job dude, that was how an unreasonable boss trope should be like!

No. 5 and Jiang Hong went to have a meal in the hotel, but however the rule of the restaurant was formal wear, but both No. 5 and Jiang Hong were in casual wear, so the host gave No. 5 a tie, No. 5 was to wear the tie and take a seat. In the script, it was No. 5 who tied his own tie, but in Xiao Zhan’s version, he did not continue to tie it himself, instead he raised his chin and leaned his neck over, signaling Jiang Hong to tie for him. My goodness, this part was seriously too sweet, I started complaining in my heart at this dude ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡… I am not sure if everyone watched a behind-the-scenes from “Superstar Academy”, where Xiao Zhan finished a drink (or tidbits, I cannot remember), and he just waved the cup in his hand, requesting the co-actress beside him to take it, and then the actress simply took it. His sort of natural ability to influence the opposite gender really makes me fall head over heels for him.

No. 5 and Jiang Hong were mistaken for Japanese, the two of them went back to their room and started conversing in synthetic Japanese, this was really No. 5 at the peak of his cuteness!!! No. 5 gave Jiang Hong a gentlemanly bow, and said “Hi!” in Japanese accent multiple times, the tone was both serious and flippant at the same time. No. 5 also said “Ah li ga duo” for arigatou. When No. 5 was describing guns to the French waitress, he use the onomatopoeia “Bang bang!”, with finger guns action, super cute. He also said “Duo La A Mong” for Doraemon, “Sa yo na la” for sayonara, and most select phrases mentioned in countless reports were “Ka wa yi” for kawaii and “Da me da me” for dame dame, these phrases did not exist in the script, they were basically his own creation. My description of that scene was basically like this:

When he said “Ka wa yi”, he placed his palms on his cheeks like a flower shape, and dragged the “yi” sound, the tone was slightly coquettish; when he said “Da me da me”, he swished his hands around (similar to a orchestra conductor), his tone was coquettish but also lilting.

After he said these two phrases, the audiences were no longer calm, many of them were sniffing in envy and these sounds filled the hall. I almost fainted at the spot, blanked out and stared at the ceiling, wondering how lucky I was to be able to hear Xiao Zhan said “Da me”, and in a coquettish manner, who was I where was I, I must had been dreaming.

No. 5 also told Jiang Hong “Ah yi xi tie lu”, which was “I love you” in Japanese. This phrase in Japanese is actually very formal, because in normal circumstances, the Japanese would use “suki” to confess their affection, which meant “I like you”, “I love you” was very rare. Then No. 5 placed his arms on Jiang Hong’s shoulders and hugged her, looked lovingly down at her eyes, his expression full of emotion and tease, and said every syllable with a pause “Ah, yi, xi, tie, lu”. That moment I hated myself, I wondered why I had to understand Japanese, why!

Following this is another highlight of No. 5, when he was mistaken as an artist he gave a speech in the restaurant, in the script, there was this big segment of lines, it was slightly different from what Xiao Zhan said in the play, but in general it was the same:

"From that day when a disease that I don't recognize found me, everything changed. I had no choice! Did I know this virus? Why did it come to me? I don't know. But it just came! Just like you said that until now there are still children in Cambodia with a missing limb due to mines! The war had already ended for 25 years! Who placed the mines? Did he know that child? Where did such great hatred came from, that you had to blow up someone you didn't know? How different am I from that child? He is just like you and I, that one day, standing under the sun, standing on the road, and suddenly, bang! It's over! The 'freedom' we yell about everyday is just bullshit! How could we have choices?!..."

I felt that I had to type out this section in full because I felt that Xiao Zhan’s live performance had to be appreciated with this section. Frankly speaking, when I first saw the original script, I felt that here, No. 5 was just someone who was very adaptable to the sudden situations, able to talk his way out, so I did not really look into the contents of this section. At that point in time, there were people who also posted this part online, but I felt that it was making a mountain out of a molehill when we place Xiao Zhan’s personal experiences along side it, No. 5 appeared to be making up a speech without much deeper meaning. When I saw Xiao Zhan himself performing this part, I realized that I was too flippant then: Xiao Zhan really had the ability to help his audience empathize, when he said this section, it felt as though every word struck my heart, as though there were other hidden meanings, especially when he said these two lines “Where did such great hatred came from, that you had to blow up someone you didn’t know?” and “The ‘freedom’ we yell about everyday is just bullshit!”, I really had instant flashbacks to the unpleasant memories of 2020… I always felt that hardship is just hardship, there is never a need for us to be thankful to it, but I had to admit, for Xiao Zhan to walk to this stage, he had went through the trials and tribulations of hardship.

Patient No. 5 and Gu Xianglan’s Kiss

In the script there were no kissing scenes between Young Patient No. 5 B and Young Gu Xianglan (by Xu Qing), i.e. the video clip that was posted by Yanghua Theatre on the 22nd. So that day, the last scene of the upper half, everyone exclaimed (of course, a big part of it was that no one guessed that there would be other kissing scenes besides that with Jiang Hong). In the video clip, No. 5 and Gu Xianglan walked slowed to each other, their shadows overlapped, their faces slowly overlapping into a kiss, it told a story, and that sense was even stronger when watched live. Just that the live performance did not have the later half of the clip, that is after they kissed they slowly separated, during live the two of them kissed using the trick of positioning and then the lights dimmed, and with that, the upper half ended.

No. 5 wore a leather jacket with jeans, Gu Xianglan wore cheongsam; No. 5 was from modern Taiwan, Gu Xianglan was from the 1930s Shanghai. So as they slowly moved towards each other face-to-face, there was really the sense that two eras were slowly merging and overlapping, the feeling was very wondrous, almost as though there was a time and space disorder, yet there was also a sense of revolving fate that merged the past and present, East and West, and created this love story that transcended space and time. I had to say that this additional scene was really fantastic, it had such a sense of story and of fate that it could match the scene of 2 different Gu Xianglans walking in the long corridor of illusion and shadow, which would really stir the audiences’ curiosity and wonder.

Hence, I surmised that the script for this tour had made some changes, No. 5 would likely be Baron’s reincarnation, confirmed when the dying Old Gu Xianglan laid on her bed, holding Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 B’s hands, and directly called him “Henry”.

Patient No. 5 on the Hospital Bed

Over here I really wanted to punch myself, I clearly read the script, but yet I forgot that in the second half, the person on the hospital bed would be No. 5 B! I entered the hall early, and I long saw the doctor at the hospital bed aiding the patient’s breathing, but I really did not pay much attention, I was so regretful!! After the show started, No. 5 started talking, the whole hall started to exclaim as they realized that oh dear, that was Xiao Zhan!

Wearing the patient gown, Xiao Zhan seemed even more ill, looked especially frail, weak, and immediately reminded me of Xianxian in the red undergown, I believe when I said this, everyone would have the image in their mind.

Patient No. 5 with the Dying Gu Xianglan

Old Gu Xianglan laid on the hospital bed, Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 sat by it, his left hand had always been on Gu Xianglan’s back, gently patting and soothing Gu Xianglan, never stopped, I had been staring for a long while. I kept feeling that this was especially “Xiao Zhan”, because Xiao Zhan himself is just that gentle and considerate.

Gu Xianglan narrated her story until she was short of breath and passed away, No. 5’s gaze had never left her, and he held her hand. No. 5 was like just like that, quietly watching Gu Xianglan until she passed away, he did not say anything, but his compassionate expression, slightly furrowed brows, exuded a strong sense of unspeakable sorrow gushing out from his body. As I wrote this part, my mind would sometimes flash back to the scene of No. 5 sitting by the bedside, and suddenly I would feel like weeping.

Patient No. 5 Reading a Letter at Jiang Hong’s Apartment

No. 5 returned to the apartment where he and Jiang Hong lived, and from under the floorboards he found a letter, he was simply kneeling as he read the letter, and kneeled for a very long time. “Hi, the person with the fever…” As he kneeled there, I could only see his back, and I just kept watching his back, listening to him read the first few lines of the letter and after which Jiang Hong continued, I felt that there was nothing else in my heart, I was very upset, but yet my tears were locked in my eyes. I stared at his pointed toes and the long, long legs in jeans, stared at the hands that were grasping the letter. Once again, No. 5 encountered another separation of a lifetime, and I knew that I was going to bid farewell to him as well.

Before the Passing of Patient No. 5

Here, No. 5 A laid on the bed talking, while Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 B stood around 1m away at the left side of the bed, looking at No. 5 A. Here is the most obvious display of compassion from No. 5, because he stood for a long time, so I kept staring at him — his gaze was gentle and sorrowful, looking at the other version of him lying on the bed almost reaching the end of his life, I wondered what he was thinking of? Xiao Zhan’s eyebrows were especially good looking, I kept thinking that if I studied him from a certain distance, the first thing I would see would be his eyebrows, and that was something I did not think would happen when I looked at him via a video on my mobile phone screen. His eyebrows were just too good at conveying emotion, if it was relaxed I would feel relaxed as well, when it frowned I would feel upset as well. No. 5 kept his brows furrowed, it was melancholy and sorrowful, he did not need to have tears in his eyes, he could convey emotions with his brows.

Finally, No. 5 A stopped breathing, and the light on No. 5 B dimmed, he was slowly consumed by darkness, in that instant I felt as though my heart had been drowned by sorrow, I kept on staring at Xiao Zhan, and unwittingly as I wrote to this point, tears started brimming in my eyes.

Patient No. 5’s A Cappella

The lyrics to the song was like this in the script:

Did anyone, see my face before? I think I remembered, I think I forgot, You used to wander in my dreams; I think I remembered, I think I forgot, I used to sing in your story; I think I remembered, I think I forgot.

At this point, all the actors will take out candles, Gu Xianglan A would ring a bell, all the actors will blow out their candles, and the play ends. I wrote on Weibo that this part wrote a cappella: Xiao Zhan sang it at the end, I was literally shaking. It was clearly a cappella, without any instrumental music or sound effects, but it was particularly ethereal and pleasant. It sounded like I went to a tall and quiet church, and listened to the choir’s singing. His voice came with its own bass. There was really this sense of sanctity, which made you feel as though any stray thoughts would be a blasphemy. I was clearly seated at an elevated location, but spiritually I felt that I was looking up at him. It was almost surreal, a dreamlike illusionary existence.

When I was seated in the hall, I was more excited, because I remembered that there was still the curtain call and gratitude ceremony. Now, reviewing this with the script, I am completely immersed in the sorrowful atmosphere of the script, and as I recall Xiao Zhan’s a cappella, I am now especially upset, and I miss him terribly.

Part 2 – Praising Xiao Zhan from All Different Angles

What Was Xiao Zhan’s Role (DUH)

At the start, No. 5 was an architect, a salary man, as he hurried on the streets, the sense of salary man was really obvious. After he met his wife, he started his flirtation mode, which was a humorous and interesting young man. After he had a child and as he carried that child, he was really like a father, I almost yelled “Daddy” in my heart! After that he fell sick, and no matter where and when, he was able to portray the sense of someone who had an illness.

Xiao Zhan’s Lines

Before the start of the show, Xiao Zhan broadcasted the important notice, his voice was like a newscaster, the XFXs around me could not believe it was him. In the hall, the voice was especially vigorous and magnetic, which was quite different from how he was like in previous interviews, overall it was especially pleasant, it felt like he changed his vocalization method, there was probably more technique into it.

Secondly, his pronunciation was very clear and professional, I could hear every word clearly, and when he was at stage left where I could not see him, I pretended I was listening to a radio show. No. 5 was from Taiwan, hence Xiao Zhan specially spoke with a Taiwanese accent, very natural and very cute. His emotions were very very on point! When he was coquettish his voice slightly lingered, when he yelled it was fierce, when he was sad it was sorrowful… When he was joking, it was as though every sound he made had a smile, when he was stern it was very shocking! “Ka wa yi” and “da me” were my top favorite!

Xiao Zhan’s Body and Face

Xiao Zhan’s No. 5, his back was hunched, he occasionally coughed, and we could see that his style of walking was different from Xiao Zhan’s: No. 5 was ill, he frequently had fevers, and he would tire when he went upstairs. From the play, we could say that we could not see the healthy and strong Xiao Zhan at all, we would only feel that he was No. 5 with a terminal illness, that was acting and character portrayal from in to out. But when he bowed with his back facing me, I still could clearly see the lines from his back muscles pushing against his shirt.

His legs were especially long, his proportions were really extreme, I always felt that humans could not grow like this, did he steal Jianguo’s leg length (No). His face was particularly small, especially when viewed from my distance, it was outstandingly exquisite, as though I could pinch it with just a hand. This hairstyle really showcased his ears, which were pointed, completely elf-like!

Besides his outstanding eyebrows, his nose was also super magnificent! Even if you looked at him from the front you would feel that he really looks very chiseled! Even more so from the side! A miracle of beauty!

From my location, I had a lot of chances to look at his 70% side view, as the light shone on that face, it was like a sculpture, I wondered what kind of divinity would be able to sculpt that: that nose line, that lip and that melancholy eyebrows…

Xiao Zhan’s Compassion

The tone that Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 as a whole gave me as a whole was melancholic, or I could say it was his compassion. Previously, I frequently saw that everyone said that Tang San had a sense of compassion, but I feel that the compassion in No. 5’s aura was superior to Tang San’s. Firstly, he himself had a terminal illness, and then he experienced so many changes, the departure of his family and loved ones. Secondly, the inner aura of No. 5 himself came with a bit of compassion.

I saw at the back row, at times when I used the binoculars, his facial features would be slightly blurry, of course most of the time it was clear, so I always first spot the most obvious, the tightly furrowed eyebrows.

Accompanying that frown would be his exquisite facial features, his eyes, especially the line of his nose, it seemed almost supernatural. Hence I would really relate it to the Greek sculptures, as in their expressions were also solemn, as though they were looking down upon the emotions and pain of the world. And they themselves were the representation of human beauty.

I always felt that the reason why Xiao Zhan’s good looks were well accepted by the masses was because his good looks was universally acceptable.

Of course, for Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 to be able to attain this level of compassion, it not only depended on his innate aura, but even more so, his own hard work, which caused his looks to be able to give off this kind of aura. For example, he became even more thin, such that his cheeks were more protruding, and there were possibly shadows on his cheeks, this would make you feel that, truly, his melancholy and compassion was clearly affecting his body.

His aura, his physical shape, was completely in service of the character.

Xiao Zhan’s Acting Skills

I posted on my Weibo that Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 was very compassionate, and then there were comments asking if it was because of his past experiences, such that he was able to portray this kind of compassion, actually it was not that I did not agree completely, but it was something that I did not even think of.

Why? Because when you watched Xiao Zhan’s dramas and movies, it was the same, when you watched his play life, his performance was even more so — just that he was not deliberately acting, you would feel that he did not use any life experience, or very obviously using his experiences to aid his portrayal in the drama. He was not like this, he would give you a very very natural sensation.

Xiao Zhan’s acting was like spring water, naturally flowing down from the cracks on the hill side, and not like cracking a water pipe, which would come gushing out suddenly, it was not like this. Even if it was an explosive scene, it would also smoothly flow downwards like a waterfall tumbling from the top of a cliff.

Although I say that Xiao Zhan’s acting was very, very natural, so much so that you could not see any trace of deliberation, but in fact this did not mean that this skill came inborn, on the contrary, this acting skill required doubly effort to attain.

My Trance

I don’t know how to explain my feeling: that is when watching the play I would sometimes feel hazy, like I would suddenly break away from the play, and then stare at Xiao Zhan, thinking — wow, this is a real Xiao Zhan, a lively Xiao Zhan, and he’s under the same roof as me in this very second, moving and talking…

And then I would go into that trance.

The Ocean of Flowers in the Courtyard

So romantic, star chasing is so romantic, loving Xiao Zhan is so romantic.

The night of Wuhan, I stayed in the midst of the crowds, outside of my windows were the streaking colors of everyday life.

My heart remained sweet, because I knew that in that very moment, I was sharing the same sky with the one I love.

And yet my heart was weak, as soon as I saw that endless brilliance of red, I would feel that my tears would well up.

Walking through the ocean of flowers, I saw countless adoration, gentleness, admiration, well wishes…

In that second, I was in Wuhan, and I had a romance with No. 5 at the ends of the world.

Appendix: 2013 Version of “A Dream Like A Dream” Behind-The-Scenes Documentary Review

(Written on 23 Mar 2021)

Upper Half

Firstly, the documentary emphasized on its star-studded cast on its very first Mainland China premiere in 2000. Besides the well-known famous actor, there was also a renowned female singer crossing domains, as well as some familiar, well-known actors, such as Tan Zhuo, Xu Qing. Xu Qing was going to continue her role as one of the Gu Xianglans in the upcoming 2021 version of “A Dream Like A Dream”. At the same time I also discovered that Shi Ke was in the 2013 version of “A Dream Like A Dream”, she was the lead actress for Xiao Zhan’s “Heroes in Harm’s Way – Blessed Community”.

In the documentary, besides bringing more attention to this play, the star-studded cast also brought another challenge, because the group’s actors had to spend more than a year to break into this 8 hour play (that time when “A Dream Like A Dream” first came into Mainland China, everything had to be started from scratch, there were a lot to adapt, hence the timeline would be longer, 2021 version had the previous foundation, and therefore did not need this long for preparation), and singers would have to take a few months to prepare for their fan meetings and concerts, television and movie actors would have to take a few months to film their dramas. In rehearsing this play, the actors would have to reject many invitations, their “loss” in revenue could be up to millions or even more.

Xiao Zhan’s rehearsal period for “A Dream Like A Dream” appeared to be an empty period to the external world, but plays truly needed wholehearted participation into practice time.

Director and playwright Lai Shengchuan said, plays are even a greater challenge to these stars, because their capabilities, their acting skills, would be obvious to the audiences after 2 or 3 shows, and this will dictate the success of the play in Mainland China.

Hence for the first entry to Mainland China, all the preparation from all angles had to start from zero, the 2013 version encountered many difficulties in terms of location, props, etc. While the cast attracted a lot of attention, the strict control behind the stage, for example, prop preparation was actually done by a Year 4 Journalism student; the rehearsal initially started in a crude empty factory. Then, the in-charge of Yanghua Theatre, Wang Keran, was the main in-charge for bringing in “A Dream Like A Dream” into Mainland China, he and his team’s office was in a simple 3 bedroom apartment, he directly said that bringing in this play was to raise the influence of plays but he could not bankrupt the backstage, hence cost also had to be tightly controlled.

For the 2021 version, the documentary gave me the most anticipation was the process that in the 2013 version, the actors and the directors went through a lot of breakthrough and recreation process during their rehearsals. While rehearsing, Xu Qing gave a totally opposite view on her role to Lai Shengchuan (on Gu Xianglan’s love to Baron), the understanding and identity from the actors themselves were in fact the most important part to character creation. Finally, Xu Qing’s persistence convinced Lai Shengchuan, who specially added some scenes in Act 9, and allowed the character Gu Xianglan to be more logical. Lai Shengchuan was a renowned Asian Theatre master, “A Dream Like A Dream” was his 3rd script after his 10+ years of experience. Even so, when meeting a brand new acting crew, the script might still display its inadequacy or limitations with the times, etc. At this moment, it would require actors to use their acting experience to improve upon it, and perform character and scene recreation. We could say that, Xu Qing was a good actress who had her own opinions and thoughts, and was persistent about them, Lai Shengchuan was a good director who progressed with the times.

It just so happened today that Xu Qing praised Xiao Zhan, I believe that with my narration on this part, everyone would understand how much weight Xu Qing’s praise carried — there is no praise that is more encouraging than that from a fellow actress who is persistent and serious.

I believe that Xiao Zhan is also a hardworking actor who will seriously analyze his scripts, and have his own opinions and thoughts. Hence, I really look forward to fireworks that Xiao Zhan and “A Dream Like A Dream” would create, as well as the new soul this would bring to the role, Patient No. 5.

Lower Half

Firstly, the documentary introduced the costume designer for “A Dream Like A Dream”, renowned designer, Ye Jintian. Ye Jintian was the costume in-charge for many movies and dramas, the most famous ones were “A Better Tomorrow” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, he also won the Oscar for Best Costume Design for the latter movie. 2021’s Costume Design Executive was still Ye Jintian. When rehearsal conditions were unable to reach the performance conditions, actors would have to use costumes to find their entry into the character, and as such, it showed how important costumes were to the play.

The premiere in 2013, was such a major cultural event, in the press conference before the first show, they exhibited a shorter segment of the play. Lai Shengchuan wanted people to focus on the story itself, but the media placed their attention on the star-studded cast, the 8 hour long performance, the ring shaped stage, and other gimmicks etc. Lai Shengchuan said, that was the misguidance of the media focus. I felt that, that was unavoidable, since it was a challenge, it was even more so an opportunity, because everything would increase the attention on the play itself eventually. Lai Shengchuan hoped that people would not watch this play for entertainment or escapism, but instead, use this story to face their problems directly, to think about the meaning of life and death.

Surprisingly, the documentary then emphasized on the participating well-known singer’s influence. It said that she had millions of passionate fans, many of them entered the theater because of her, whereas in Lai Shengchuan’s vision, the audiences for “A Dream Like A Dream” were those who had watched many other plays before. We could even say that such a young and influential singer’s addition then truly changed the audience composition for such an elite form of art. On this, Producer Wang Keran expressed that it was something the production team was happy to see, because marketization was the nutrient for such highend art. Moreover, “A Dream Like A Dream” was 8 hours long, they had 400 over sets of costumes, as well as many innovative stage art design, the cost was very huge. Hence, the show for this type of play became a gamble, a gamble between art and market. After all, theater workers would have to eat, and audiences only cared about results, and they would not analyze the difficulties behind it.

The 2021 version that Xiao Zhan joined was built upon the mature experience of 7 years of public showing from the 2013 version, and definitely had lesser problems, but due to Xiao Zhan’s commonly known qualities, the 2021 version would carry the same mission as the 2013 version: using the actor’s huge influence and interest, attract more “first time goers” for theaters, and use the market to nourish the play. To Xiao Zhan personally, this was the rarest and best experience for an actor.

I would mostly skip through the following interview of the famous actor, but there was an important phrase within which he generally said, “To return to theater is to remove the burden of a celebrity.” I felt that this point was suitable to Xiao Zhan.

That time, the production company for “A Dream Like A Dream” (should be Yanghua Theatre) was actually not rich, we could see that the theater scene was still in its infancy. The Stage Designer Zhang Zhelong, was also very competent, he created many aesthetic and unique stage effects for “A Dream Like A Dream”, the most famous was the handover between 2 Gu Xianglans, 2 graceful figures, the former slowly absorbed into the light, blurry and vague, just like a dream. The 2021 version’s Stage Designer is still Zhang Zhelong.

Finally, it was the interview with the well-known actor Jin Shijie, who acted as Baron then. He said that now is the era for speed, everyone could use an electronic device to watch many shows in a night, they could even watch new technologies such as 3D. But, plays were like they carried many ancient rituals. You would need to leave the house, take a car ride, queue, and then sit in among a group of strangers, and watch the stage in the dark, and finally return home. These process were complex, but yet it also seemed especially ceremonious — hence Jin Shijie said that the stage was the most primitive. Whereas for me personally, I like this type of primitive art, this is a form of art that up close, without any misplacement in time and space, and the most realistic.

[pandor-pandorkful]

Gay SKULMUST to You and Yours

I wanna decorate but I don’t wanna deal with the nebulous resentful feelings of “I basically rejected chistianity when i was 5* (*children’s service or whatever when they made the kids go up front to get churched on during holiday service instead of letting us play in the basement, that was like baby’s first social anxiety trauma for me. and made me the godless heathen i am today.) and never looked back and also I loath the capitalist connotations of the holiday” and also I don’t really have decorations besides my homosexual glittlerbombed tree that I’ve had out all year because moving is hard and it makes me happy to see it sparkle rainbowly.

so I guess I’m making up my own holiday, Plaguemas is maybe too on the nose... while I was writing this I was gonna call it SKULLMAS, but while searching to make sure that wasn’t already a thing didn’t bring up much I felt like it was still too... idk. Obvious?

So I’m calling it SKULMUST (all caps, all the time) after skulls and my favorite (and hard to get in the US) soda, julmust! (The “must” loosely translates to unfermented fruit or juice, so I guess I’m calling my fake holiday “skull juice” hahaha) Because I mainly have glitter and halloween decorations. And I’m not buying more decorations.

Pandor’s SKULMUST Manifesto(? jk it’s a bulleted list)

SKULMUST is for anyone who wants to appreciate some cheesy x-mas vibes, but rejects the religious and capitalist connotations of Christmas

SKULMUST is for anyone who wants Halloween to be a 4 to 6+ month holiday instead of one day a year

SKULMUST is for anyone who is getting tired of MERRY CRISIS all the time and just wants to feel a little happy, as a treat.

SKULMUST begins whenever the first store decides to start putting out the halloween decorations (the earliest I’ve seen is mid May) and ends when you get bored with it. (This sounds like it goes against the anti-capitalist sentiment I laid out prior, but it’s mainly 1. irony and 2. just admit it, you celebrate the pumpkin watch every year and you know it.)

SKULMUST encourages recycling and crafting to make your decorations, only buy more supplies if you really need them and only support small independent businesses

SKULMUST has no dress requirements but one: WEAR A FUCKING MASK*. Other than than that, create your own SKULMUST costume vibe! Ugly sweaters + general Gothiness + Dickensian Victorian floof + early 2000′s Emo mall kid... listen to your heart and go buckwild. (*in SKULMUST future, when we’ve presumably gotten rid of this plague, wear masks in remembrance.)

Entertainment of SKULMUST: Muppets Christmas Carol (preferably a copy that doesn’t cut Belle’s song), Whisper of the Heart (Ghibli’s love letter to depressed young creatives and a damn fine film), Metropolis (1927) or Metropolis (2001). MST3K S05E21. And like I guess Nightmare Before Christmas, if you wanna like be obvious.

Spirit of SKULMUST: If you have the means, donate to a non-shitty charity or directly to anyone who’s having a rough time. Make Charles Dickens proud.

Decorations of SKULMUST : Primarily up to your own tastes, but the general thesis of SKULMUST is the blatant unholy marriage of skulls and skeletons to garlands and wreaths, but like also GAY. (You don’t HAVE to be gay yourself to celebrate SKULMUST, but I am gay. So like, as the creator of this bogus holiday, I sez the decorations gotta have that vibe. I will relax the “don’t buy stuff” rule to allow emergency December Diamonds ornament purchases.) Do you have a motion activated screeching rat decoration? Put a santa hat on it’s head. Or whatever! You keep SKULMUST in your way, and I’ll keep it in mine! But yeah like regardless of your background, you’ve got a skull. Embrace the skull, celebrate the skull. Glam up some skulls!

Slogans of SKULMUST : Gay SKULMUST to You! Queer Tidings! WEAR A MASK AND SOCIAL DISTANCE THIS SKULMUST! An isolated and weird SKULMUST to all! (I need suggestions for more, they just need to be primarily LGBTQIA+ and plague punny.)

Ok I’ve spent way longer on this and thought too deeply about SKULMUST than I intended. Gonna go dig thru some boxes and make a SKULMUST wreath now. Or go to bed. I got sleepy!