#i feel very weird about the clothes I wear but these 2 pieces make me really happy

[amu-brain-dump]

Could you tell us about your current favourite item (or few favourite items) of clothing at the moment?

Right now I have 2 pieces of clothing that are my faves. One is my Jake the dog shirt and the other is a pair of overalls I bought recently

I bought this shirt 2 years ago and from the beginning it doesn't really close cause boobs but I still wear it open with something underneath. It's always the first thing on my wardrobe so I see it when I open it cause it just makes me smile so big. I LOVE this shirt and will always keep it with me.

These overalls are soo great! The fabric is stretchy and soft so I can jump, squat, run and do whatever I want in them (not that I actually do any of those things 😅) they're just so incredibly comfortable and I wear them all the time

[dazedandconfused-15]

Heaven's in your eyes (Part 2)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Female Reader

Summary: Life in Hawkins is dull and lonely, especially after your mom abandoned your family, leaving you even more isolated amidst school rumors. Already shy and with few friends, you find solace in your solitude—until Billy Hargrove, the intriguing new boy from California, comes into the picture. To your surprise, Billy seems to seek you out, finding ways to talk to you despite the odds. Never in a million years would you have imagined forming such an unexpected bond with someone.

Link to: Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

@tatumrileyslover @nocturnest @i-keepmyideals @eddiestans-blog here you go!

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It has been exactly six days since Billy dropped you home that Monday after the trip. The following days he never fails to greet you if you cross paths in the hallways. He hasn't ignored you once, even though you haven't called him yet. The truth is, you are terrified of doing so. When you think about dialing his number, two days later, you think it's too soon and you will look desperate, so you put the phone receiver back in its place. At the same time, you keep mulling over his words. 'Call me when you feel like it'. It means you don't have to call him right away, maybe he really means to call him when you feel like it. On Saturday morning, you decide it's the perfect time to call him. Enough time has passed to avoid seeming desperate, but not so much that it seems like you don't want anything to do with him. You need to repay the favor, and even though it's pouring rain outside, you pick up the phone.

After a couple of hours of pondering and racking your brain, you decide to take the risk and go for it. You had written Billy's number down as soon as you got inside, safely on a piece of paper. As the phone rings, you're already regretting your decision, feeling nervous as hell.

“Hello,” a girl's voice answers.

“Oh, um, hello. Is Billy there?”

You definitely didn’t expect a girl to answer. She sounds very young.

“Hold on,” she says, sounding bored. You quickly move the phone away from your ear as she screams Billy’s name.

A few seconds later you hear the rustle of the phone being moved around. “...cking yelling like a banshee. Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Y/N” you say, hoping he remembers your name. It would be weird if that’s the case.

“Hey. What’s up?” he says instead.

You instantly feel relieved. 

“You told me to call you when I wanted. I hope it’s not a bad time.”

“‘Course not,” he says. “You okay?”

“I’m good, thank you. And you?”

“Yeah, same. What you’re doing today?”

“Um, nothing special.” You glance at the window. “The weather is awful. I was actually wondering if you wanted to go grab a bite?” It feels like you’re inviting him on a date. It’s embarrassing. “Since it’s raining.” Now you’re repeating yourself. You’re glad he can’t see you blushing furiously as you keep rambling. “I mean, remember you told me you wanted to see more of Hawkins? I saw the weather and thought about this place. It’s a bit outside of town. If you don’t have anything planned.”

“Yeah, sure. Just need to finish working on some stuff. I can pick you up at seven.”

“Seven is perfect,” you say, your heart still hammering in your chest. “I’ll see you then.”

“See you.”

You change clothes at least three times, unable to decide what to wear. You don't even know why you're making such a big deal out of it—it's not a date, just an outing between friends. Actually, you two aren't even that close. But don't dwell on that too much; what is the reason for your outing, anyway? Originally, it was to show Billy the rest of Hawkins. Dinner is part of that plan, but Benny's Burger isn't one of the places he mentioned, even though it's a bit more isolated. However, that didn't seem to bother him. This time, you decide to bring enough money to pay for both of you. It's the least you can do.

Despite anticipating this moment with secret enthusiasm, seven o'clock arrives faster than you'd like. You leave the house in the pouring rain to find Billy's Camaro idling in front of your trailer, its low rumble cutting through the night. You hurry to open the door and close your umbrella, trying not to let any water into the car. As you settle into the seat and turn to greet him, your breath catches. You try not to look too impressed by the sight of him as you fix your wet hair, but a quick glance is enough to get your heart racing. You’re increasingly convinced that this man has no physical flaws, and that thought destabilizes you. He’s wearing a white tank top under a black leather jacket, with blue jeans that fit like they were tailor-made for him. As he puts his hand on your seat and looks over his shoulder to back up, he manages to keep his cigarette firmly between his fingers, one hand on the steering wheel. You take the opportunity to steal a glance at him. The movement brings him closer, and the scent of his cologne reaches your nostrils, making your skin prickle. His long curls are perfectly styled, reminding you of a lion.

“I didn’t think you’d actually call.” he says as he shifts from reverse to first, heading toward the end of the trailer park. 

“Oh,” you say. “Why is that?”

“Dunno.” he chuckles, his long lashes brushing his cheekbones. “Maybe you were scared of me or something.”

His sentence moves something inside you. "Oh. Not at all,” you say, your voice carrying a hint of determination. You are determined to make him understand that you may be shy, but you are not a fragile little thing. "I'm not scared of you."

“You’re not?” his voice is like a low rumble, it burns through you and sets you on fire.

“Uh-huh.” your mouth feels dry, and you distract yourself by feeling the hot air coming out of the vent with your hands.

“Good.” 

When you walk into Benny's Burger, it's practically deserted. There's just a couple of old gentlemen. From the way they are dressed, they look like fishermen. It looks like they have recently ordered because there is only cutlery and two glasses of beer on their table. Benny Hammond comes to take your order and greets you warmly. He and your dad are good friends, they went to school together here in Hawkins. Billy orders a double burger and a large portion of fries, and you order a steak with a small portion of fries. You were afraid the evening would be punctuated by few words and awkward silences. Billy is not the biggest of talkers, but the feeling of uneasiness quickly vanishes as the night goes on. You tell him about your dad and Benny, recounting how your dad was born and raised in Hawkins. When you tell him about his travels, you linger and talk a lot about California. Billy is curious about what your dad did there for five years. Then you tell him how he went to Jamaica alone and risked his life several times but had a good time. Then Billy tells you how his group of friends in California had been very diverse, two of them being a Jamaican and a Filipino. He tells you how good their mothers' cooking was when he was invited to eat at their house. You are surprised how the conversation always manages to bounce back. 

Half an hour later, Billy has cleared his plate. You, on the other hand, are still struggling to finish your steak, so he finishes it for you. You comment in amazement that he eats like a horse, then immediately apologize, feeling your face flush with embarrassment. Billy laughs and tells you he does weight training five times a week. You feel like saying you've noticed, but luckily manage to stop yourself in time and avoid further embarrassment.

You insist on paying to make up from last time, but Billy refuses categorically. You feel guilty, but his stubbornness prevents you from doing anything else. When you leave the restaurant, it has stopped raining. The smell of rain rises from the asphalt of the car park. As you walk towards the parked Camaro, you cross your arms over your chest, suppressing a shiver. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Billy take off his jacket.

"No, don't take it off, I'm good, really." you tell him, already knowing what he’s doing.

“Here,” Billy drapes it over your shoulder anyway. The weight of a jacket and the smell of leather envelop you. You try not to show your surprise as his warm hand gently squeezes the back of your neck. “Just wrap it around yourself. Don’t wanna catch a cold.” 

His hand seems to leave an imprint on your skin. You didn’t know you would like his touch so much until now. The sound of zippo rips through the silence and your mind. Billy walks past you, the orange glow of a freshly lit cigarette is the only light in the evening darkness. He opens the driver’s door and bents inside, inserting the keys and fiddling with the radio. You lean your back against the side of the car, enveloped in the warmth of his jacket, still carrying the lingering heat from his body. You breathe through the collar of it, smelling the faint scent of his cologne. 

The gentle guitar strumming of ‘Landslide’ wafts through the air as Billy closes the door, windows down, and leans against the car, beside you. You turn towards him, your eyes dragging over his body covered only by his wifebeater. He takes a drag from his cigarette, the tip of it vibrating until it almost turns red. 

"You’re sure you're not cold?" you ask, daring to be a bit bolder and nudging his shoulder gently.

Billy nudges you back, mumbling around his cigarette. “Hey, I’m a tough guy.”

You softly shake your head at his answer, looking at the trees in front of you, forming a wall of darkness, a trickle of wind shakes them slightly in the breeze. “I love this song,” you say with a soft smile. Then you look at him. “I didn’t know you liked Fleetwood Mac”.

“What did you think I liked?” Billy asks after exhaling the smoke, taking the cigarette from his mouth.

“I don’t know,” you hesitate, hoping he doesn't misinterpret your words. “I thought you were more into metal. Just ‘cause I heard you playing it from your car sometimes.” you hastily add.

Billy hums in acknowledgment. “So you were watching me, huh?”

“No, it’s not that! You just, sometimes the music is very loud.” 

He laughs, and it’s such a pleasant sound. It makes your insides swirl. “S’alright. I do play my music very loud.” he flicks the cigarette on the ground, the glowing ashes extinguishing silently on the wet asphalt. “I listen to metal, yeah, but I like rock in general. Hard rock, folk rock,” he jerks his head to his right where the music comes from. 

You hum thoughtfully, tightening his jacket around you. “That’s nice. I think they’re among my favorite folk rock bands.

“Those guys?”

“Yes.” 

Billy nods his head. “They’re cool, yeah. What else do you like?”

You hum while thinking. “There’s lots. My dad likes all these rock bands, like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and a bunch of others. I picked it up from him. He used to blast them in the house when I was little," you recall with a soft smile. "He's a big fan."

“Well, well, well.” Billy grins in appreciation, his smoldering eyes on you. “Didn’t know little miss was so cool.” 

You let out a small laugh, and put a strand of hair behind your ear with a shake of your head to do something with your hands. You thank the night for hiding how flustered you are. “I just…” 

“What else are you hiding?” he tilts his head toward you, the warming mood bringing him closer than before, his shoulder brushing against yours.

“Not much.” you laugh again, unable to meet his eyes. 

“Huh-huh,” he mumbles playfully, bringing the cigarette to his mouth. 

You switch the conversation on him, to shift the attention from you. “And how did you start listening to rock?” 

Billy initially stays quiet. At a certain point, you’re almost convinced he either didn’t hear you or doesn’t want to answer.

“My mom.” he finally says. You look at him, instantly feeling the shift in his mood. “She listened to all this folk stuff, like Joni Mitchell, Mamas and Papas, Bob Dylan. I remember hearing it play in the house since I was a toddler.” he muses, and for a moment seems lost in the memory, breathes a silent laugh through his nose. “She was a bit of a hippie.”  

You can imagine his mom dancing barefoot in the living room, him mirroring her movement with a smiling chubby face, his bright blue eyes looking up in adoration at her.  

“And my old man didn’t like that part of her one bit,” he says then, his voice turning acidic. He flicks his cigarette again. “You meet someone and expect them to change what they are for you. Kinda makes sense, huh?” 

Something in the way he talks about her suggests to you that her mother is part of his past. You don't know on what level, but surely the whole thing didn't end well. And that's one of the sensitive topics regarding his life in California. 

‘Dreams’ starts playing next, filling the last few seconds of silence. It makes you think about the vinyl of that album you bought in Chicago when you spent part of last summer at your grandparents’. It was the right before your mom left.

"I think it’s kind of cool. It's usually always dads who listen to that music,” you say gently in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

“Yeah, no.” Billy snorts. “Surely not mine. He thinks that’s the Devil’s music. Still into that conservative bullshit.”

“My grandma thinks the same,” you comment. “I had ‘Rumours’ on vinyl before.” you start, referring to the current song’s album. I bought it that summer when I visited them in Chicago. It got damaged shortly after buying it. I still think she broke it on purpose.

“Shit. That sucks.” 

“Yeah,” you sigh. “It’s my favorite one.”

“Do you still have your record player?”

“Yes. I have a few other vinyls too.”

As the two of you continue to talk about music, a topic you didn't think you'd be on the same tune on, the mood returns to a lighter one. Soon later, the rain starts falling again stopping you in the middle of your conversation and you both realize it got late. Billy crushes his unfinished cigarette with his boot and you get in the car.

“Thanks for paying tonight. Again,” you tell him sheepishly once on the drive back home. 

Billy slightly lowers the radio's volume until the guitar strums are just background noise, his eyes fixed on the road. “There’s lots of other ways to make it up to me, but I won’t let you pay. Sorry, sweetheart." 

His tone suggests he's not sorry at all. It almost sounds like it’s out of the question for him. You try to ignore how the nickname makes your heart flutter, refusing to dwell on its meaning.

“But why?” 

“Because,” he chuckles, probably amused by how you seem fixated on the question. “It’s just the way it works.”

“Doesn’t make sense,” you mumble quietly, burying half of your face in his big jacket still wrapped around you and suppressing a shiver. 

“Shit. Does it always rain in this shithole?” he squints his eyes a little bit as he lifts the lever to increase the windshield wiper's speed. The rain is now pelting the car more aggressively. 

“I think it’s because you’re used to California,” you say gently. 

There still are a few droplets of water on his naked arms and shoulders. However, he doesn’t seem to feel cold since he’s not shivering.

“Guess so,” he mutters. 

For the first time, you notice he has a tattoo on his shoulder. It’s a skull smoking a cigarette. You wonder when he got it done, what does it represent? 

Before you can stop, your mouth talks. Your voice is quiet, but it is still audible. “That’s a cool tattoo.”

He turns his head toward you, and for a moment he seems surprised. Then his face settles back into a composed expression, his eyes flickering with a hint of amusement. "Yeah, you like it?" he responds casually, you swear his tone betrays a touch of warmth.

“Mh-mh.” you nod, feeling comfortable enough to say what you really think next. “It suits who you are.”

He lets out a quiet chuckle under his breath. “What do you think that is?"

Maybe it’s the relentless thundering of the rain over you, maybe it’s the fact that it’s pitch dark or you’re slowly being accustomed to being around him. You feel a sense of comfort enveloping you. 

“I think… You’re tough on the outside, you always act distant from what surrounds you, like you don’t care about anything and anyone. But deep down, you’re kind-hearted and really gentle.” 

The only sound breaking the silence is the soft hum of the music and the harsh drumming of rain against the car. Your swallow seems thunderously loud in the quiet, but the collar of his jacket offers some solace. Glancing at him, you breathe in the scent of leather and him, focusing on his forearms—robust yet slender—then his hands gripping the steering wheel, long fingers lightly wrapped around it. You wonder what it would feel like to have his arms around you, his hands on your waist, neck, cheeks. Every thump of your heart against your ribcage feels hyper-aware.

“Like, incredibly kind and gentle,” you venture, sensing the weight of your words. It's why you try to cloak yourself in the armor of a rough exterior, a fortress formed by sharp cutting gazes, sharky smiles and skinned knuckles. You want to say more, but it feels too personal, too revealing. You know he wouldn't handle it well. It would make him feel vulnerable, prompting him to close off. You guess he’s hiding some things from himself and the world, afraid it would spill over and flood the fragile sanctuary of his soul. 

Billy chuckles softly, his tone light yet evasive. "You're painting me as a real softie, aren't you?" his words carry a playful edge, his gaze still fixed on the road ahead. His eyes won’t meet yours, though. There are a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. "Got it last year. The tattoo. Hurt like a bitch."

You notice his subtle attempt to divert the conversation. But you can’t blame him. You went a bit too hard. 

“I want to get one too. Someday,” you murmur. 

“Yeah?” he glances at you.”D’you have something in mind?” 

“Not really…I guess I’d have to think about it.”

“You should. It’s gonna be there forever. Unless you get it lasered off, which is a new thing. And that’s a whole other level of pain.”

Just to make you think about it makes you shiver. “Laser it…?”

“Yeah.”

Getting a tattoo is something you have to ponder for a long time indeed. And you’ve always had a penchant for changing your mind. Getting excited about ideas, projects, and it always seemed to work for a long time until you changed your mind. Or something happened and you consequently changed your vision of things. You’ve always been uncertain. Your life had a penchant for unexpected events and uncertainties as well.

“Maybe getting a tattoo is not for me,” you mumble. “I’m bad at making decisions. I feel like all of my life is going to be like this.”

“What do you mean?”

As the car slows down, you realize you’re already driving on Forrest Hill trail road.  

“I mean…” you sigh, uncertain whether to delve into what’s on your mind and risk exposing yourself. But Billy opened up tonight, so you feel compelled to do the same. It also feels kind of natural. “In my life, things always seem to take unexpected turns. Often in a bad way. I can never know what to expect. And I don’t like that.”

The car comes to a halt, and you find yourselves parked in front of your trailer.

“Well, I could tell you ‘That’s the beauty of it’ or some stupid shit like that. But huh…” he chuckles, shaking his head as he rattles the pack of cigarettes in his palm to extract one. “My life has been a shit show itself. So, I get it.”

“I’m really sorry,” you say softly. That’s all you can say, you can only imagine from the vague piece of information he gave you. 

Billy shrugs as if to brush it off. It’s so natural it looks rehearsed. You wish you could tell him it does matter, that he deserved to have a happy childhood, he deserves a happy life.

“I wish I could at least have a hint. Even if it’s just one piece of information. I don’t like all of this uncertainty,” you continue. You've known Billy long enough to understand he doesn’t appreciate pity, or even anything that remotely seems like pity. “I wish I could see my future. My grandma…” you stop yourself with an embarrassed laugh. “I know this is gonna sound stupid. It’s probably not true anyways. But I’ve always wanted to get my palm read. My grandma used to know how to do it.”

Met with silence, you feel the familiar burn of shame and regret welling up inside you. Why would you say that? He’s probably thinking you’re crazy for believing in this stuff.

“Wanna give it a shot?” 

You turn toward him in surprise. “You know how?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty good at it.” he shrugs, putting the pack of cigarettes in the compartment. Then places his cigarette behind his ear. “Come on.” he holds his palm in invitation. You place your hand in his, palm facing up. 

“Alright,” he begins, tracing a line with his fingertip, “This here, is your headline. It’s curved and wavy, which means you’re creative and intuitive. You think outside the box, not afraid to follow your own path.”

You watch his face, his concentration as he reads your lines. “And this one. Huh. Oh yeah. See, your lifeline is strong and deep,” he continues, his voice a low rumble. “That means you’re full of energy, and vitality. You’ve got resilience, no matter what life throws at you.”

He shifts his focus to another line, “An this, here, this is your fate line. Not everyone has one. Suggests you’ve got a purpose, something you’re meant to do, and it’ll shape your life significantly. Basically, your destiny is in your hands.”

His thumb moves lightly over your palm, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. “Your skin is soft. How's it so soft all the time?” he almost mutters to himself. “Means you’re sensitive, maybe a bit sheltered. Shows you’re not letting anyone in. But it’s not a bad thing, you know what I mean?”

You could listen to his voice forever. It’s like a low melody, resonating deep within you.

“How do you know all this?” you breathe, your eyes studying his face. 

“Told you my mom was a hippie. She was into all of this stuff. Taught me how to do it. Shit”, he chuckles. “...haven’t done that since I was ten probably.”

Finally, he traces the heart line, deep and prominent. “And this,” he says, rubbing his finger across a line that nearly runs the full width of your palm. “is your heart line. It runs deep, straight across. It means you feel things intensely. You love deeply, but you also hurt deeply. See this?” he presses his thumb into the little fleshy space between the first and middle fingers, then meets your eyes. “When it curves outward like this, it means you’re willing to give a lot to the other person. Like, you give all of you.”

You are caught between the urge to look away from him and hold his gaze. His tourmaline eyes are two deep pools in which you swear you can lose yourself.

“I uh, we’ll see about that.” you manage to say. “I haven’t had anything like that before.”

“Haven’t had a boyfriend yet?”

A small laugh escapes your lips at your own embarrassment. His own slightly twitch too. “God, no. I haven't exactly been in the game.”

“So nada, huh?”

One of his thumbs caresses your palm, the other the skin of the inside of your wrist, drawing circles. It sends tingling along your body. A pleasant shiver that makes your whole body aware, a hot sensation in the pit of your stomach, all your nerves rising. You can feel something hanging in the air, a palpable tension, but you also wonder if it's just your imagination running wild. Being inexperienced as you are, perhaps it’s all in your head, and all of this is fueled by the undeniable attraction you feel toward him. Then Billy jerks his chin toward your right.

“Looks like your dad is waiting for you.” 

You follow the direction he’s pointing at. Indeed, the little light outside the trailer is lit. Your dad is peering at the small window on the door, you can see him munching a pickle in the meantime. As you’ve been burned, you quickly retract your hand from his.

You are grateful to your dad for entering the picture and getting you out of this situation. With him looking at both of you, you can do little other than simply greet Billy without a second thought. Had he not been there, you would surely have stumbled over your words.

“Oh, uhm. Sorry about that.” you chew at your bottom lip before looking back at Billy, an apologetic expression on your face. It’s embarrassing. “He was probably worried, he does that when I come back late. Oh,” you suddenly remember you’re still wearing his jacket, so you quickly take it off. “Here. Thank you. I’ll see you at school?”

Billy takes the jacket. “Yeah. See you there. Sleep tight.” 

You want to ask him if another hangout is on the program, but you don’t wanna press too much, so you hurry inside the trailer with your heart a little lighter and a thousand questions. In your bed, you keep replaying the hours spent with him unable to fall asleep. His change of tone and attitude when he talks about his parents lingers in the back of your mind. You don't know his story in depth, but you are increasingly convinced that he and you share more than you think.

[sunvylovebug]

ur writing is so good!! would it be possible to request a part 2 to jin’s story but mayhaps with some more romance 🥹

The cold in his heart ❨Part 2/2❩

↬ Warnings: No warnings …⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ

↬ Female!Reader and third person narration (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

↬ Author Note: Thank you so much for asking for the part 2! I had so much fun writing this. I'm so happy you like the stuff I write. I felt insecure to post things cause English is not my first language but here we are<3 Thanks Anon, I hope you will like this part too!

↬ Summary: A ball in Frostheim, Y/N will attend to it, will the Captain's feelings come to light?

↬ Word Count: 1,800 Words

Part One

One day Y/N was on her way to Frostheim. She needed to deliver a report cause there were some incorrect details in the previous one so, she kindly offered to take them to the Vice Captain. However, when looking for him, she couldn't find him anywhere. She had written a message that hadn't been read yet, Y/N assumed he would be busier than usual so she decided to head to the Captain's room.

The path was not complicated. She knew it well after having gone there so many times, fulfilling errands that Jin asked of her. At first all of them were really bossy, they felt like orders more than favors. She smiled at the thought of how the young man was now a little nicer to her.

The girl arrived at the room, knocked on the door and after hearing Jin's voice she entered. "I have some papers for you, there's a report that had data, it wasn't correct." She said gently. Jin looked at her, he had a cigarette in his hand and was lying on the luxurious couch of his room, a sight that was common to see.

"Ah... I see. Leave them there." Jin spoke looking at the desk. She nodded and put the papers on a free space on his desk. He looked at her hand, she had a bandage covering her palm. "Y/N, come here." He ordered, she walked towards him.

"Yes? Is there anything else you need?" Y/N didn't know what he had in mind.

"Sit."

"Okay okay, what's wrong? You're being weird-"

Her words were cut off as Jin gently held her hand, analyzing the bandage. He looked into Y/N's eyes, searching for an explanation. "Oh, that... it's nothing serious, just a slight cut I got while I was cleaning some pieces of glass."

Hearing what happened, he frowned, giving her palm a light caress. "What are you, a dumb kid? It's sharp and you shouldn't clean something like that with bare hands."

"I know I know, I was in a hurry but it's nothing, really. Jiro bandaged it for me." He kept frowning. "You look like an angry cat."

"Shut the fuck up."

Jin let her hand go, a little pissed off cause of her words, not as gently as he was holding it. She sighed, he could still be a bit rude from time to time. After a short silence he gently tapped the cigarette against the ashtray and looked at her. "There's going to be a dance tonight, are you planning to go?"

The girl chuckled at the question, earning a frown from the boy. "No, I'm definitely not going"

He raised an eyebrow and looking at her curiously. "And why is that?"

"Well you know, it's gonna be full of rich people, expensive outfits, they will be dancing..."

"Why would you care about what those bootlickers do, wear or think? You should go."

She smiled playfully. "Oh? What is it? Do you want me to go?"

"Yes. I want you to go."

That was unexpected, Y/N was joking but it was obvious he was being serious. Her cheeks felt a little warm after hearing what he'd said. "I don't have any clothes to wear to an event like that."

"Then I'll get you some. Will you go?" Those piercing ice-blue eyes looked at her with a certain sparkle, something she couldn't quite make out.

She sighed, it was a very kind gesture on his part and she was somewhat curious to see what one of these Frostheim activities was like. "Fine. I'll go. Thank you Jin, I appreciate it."

He had a slight, beautiful smile on his lips after hearing she was going. Soon after that he took care of getting the perfect outfit for her.

[ • • • ]

It was getting dark and Y/N was a little nervous, she didn't know how to dance at all and anyone could tell she had two left feet when dancing, it didn't really matter cause Jin wanted her there. Her heart was churning with a certain mixture of happiness and uncertainty at this, it was true that they were getting closer but, could that mean something more or was she just rushing to assume things that aren't true?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of one of Darkwick's many cats at the window. She let the cat in and it meowed happily, letting the package on the floor for her to grab. Y/N crouched down and gave the small animal some gentle strokes, its tail was wagging from side to side. "Thank you, you're such a good worker aren't you?"

The cat purred happily and after some more affection it needed to go. The cat jumped out and left. The girl's hands carefully opened the pretty package and she smiled as she saw the contents, there was a beautiful dress, a coat and a pair of shoes, also some jewelry. The fabric of the clothes was so soft and pleasant to the touch. It was obvious the high quality of it, she hoped it wasn't too expensive, of course Jin could get something like that a hundred times and not be bothered by the price, but she didn't feel so good when someone spent money on her.

There was still some time left but Y/N decided to prepare herself as best she could to look good. She wanted to feel pretty and she did a good job with it. Seeing her reflection in the mirror felt good, the dress fit her body shape in such a natural way, Jin had made a perfect choice.

Arriving at the Frostheim house, there was a certain warmth that was not so usual. The place was full of people, all of them looked elegant, glamours, they were people with a lot of money and power. Y/N couldn't help but feel out of place. Luckily no one was watching at her, she was blending in well.

"Here you are." She heard a voice behind her, it was Tohma. He greeted her with a slight bow of his head. "Good evening Y/N, the Captain is looking for you. Follow me."

Her heart began to race, she followed Tohma without objection, some people watched them pass by but she wasn't thinking about it. Then she saw him, a drink on his hand and wearing the Frostheim uniform. There's no denying that Jin looked incredibly attractive in it. "Look at that, not bad." He smirked when she appeared in front of him.

"Thank you Jin. You look good too." She smiled with her cheeks a little rosy.

Some students around them began to murmur about them, Jin sighed heavily. "That's why I hate these things. Y/N, come on, let's dance." He grabbed the girl's waist and guided her to the dance floor.

"Jin wait, I don't know how to-"

"Shhh don't worry, I'll guide you. Just follow me." He whispered to her, she felt shivers down her spine but only nodded at his words.

Jin guided Y/N's hands to put them in the correct place, getting a little closer to her and holding her waist with one hand. They started dancing slowly, maybe it was the adrenaline but she didn't feel it was as difficult as it seemed before, it was actually quite nice to do. There were a lot of people looking but neither of them cared at all. It was just the two of them and the background music.

They danced for a while, Jin looked at her tenderly, his cold eyes had warmth in them, Y/N had managed to melt the young man's cold heart and wrap it in warmth.

The third song ended and he gently pulled her off the dance floor. "You must be a little tired, let's go."

He started walking towards the stairs. "Oh? Wasn't I supposed to be getting tired?" She asked raising an eyebrow. Jin turned around to look at her.

"You're right." Before Y/N could realize it he was carrying her bridal style, she instinctively clung to his body, letting out a surprised gasp. The boy smirked.

"There was no need to do that, Jin."

"You're shy now? How cute." He teased.

He walked up the stairs while carrying her in his arms, the music was becoming less and less loud, she looked at his face. He was so handsome, his pale skin, blue eyes, silver hair with that subtle blue blur on the tips.

He put her back on her feet, but his hand travels to her waist. "I wasn't ready to see you look so stunning tonight." He says sincerely, his expression is not much different from usual but there is a slight warm glint in his eyes.

"Jin I-" Her words were interrupted by his index finger, gently resting on her lips.

"I wanna say something first." She nodded, a little shocked by his actions. "I'm in love with you, Y/N." For just a second she wanted to ask him if if was a joke, but seeing the way his eyes looked at her she knew he was being honest.

Y/N felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest to go into his arms instead. "I feel the same way for you."

Jin felt relieved, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. Her body pressed against his chest. She was surprised to notice that his heart was racing almost as fast as hers. "I love you."

"I love you too Jin." His grip on her loosened enough to look into her eyes again.

He moved one of his hands to gently hold her cheek. He brought his face closer to hers slowly, waiting to see what kind of reaction he was gonna get from her. Her cheeks got red, her eyes were closing, their faces came closer and that's when their lips touched softly, a delicate, gentle touch.

His thumb caressed her face, Jin didn't want to pull away, but they were running out of air after several seconds of kissing, he pulled away to let her breathe again, his forehead pressed against hers and a loving smile on his face.

"Y/N. Would you be my girlfriend?"

She couldn't believe what her ears were hearing, maybe this was a dream? "Of course! I want that... I wanna be your girlfriend."

He kissed her softly again, they kisses until they had a hard time breathing. Jin was fascinated with her, he couldn't stop it, his heart wanted to make her feel overwhelmed with love and feel the same in return too. It was definitely their perfect night.

In the eyes of others, Jin had regained some of his former charisma and warmth, all thanks to the fact that the king of Frostheim had found someone to give all of his love to.

[s-i-n-i-s-i-n]

Carmen Sandiego

Outfit Ranking. Season 1

Here is Part 2

Here is my very own ranking for Carmen Sandiego outfits in season 1.

I feel it is necessary to mention that she is so fucking hot and wicked-awesome that she looks amazing in everything. She would look beautiful in a potato sack.

Warning: this is a long post that may contain my bad resolution images and poorly made gifs.

13. Gray Vile Uniform.

It is weird that having Countess Cleo on the very faculty, the students' uniforms are so ugly. 0/10 Ugly crap. Even the cleaners look better.

12. Dark Vile Uniform.

It is an upgrade. Still not very stylish. Kinda neutral, but at least black and green get along fine enough. But it is a uniform... her personality doesn't shine through this one.

11. Overalls.

She still hasn't grown into her own style but at least I believe it is a personal choice. And green is so not her color.

10. Lab Coat.

She looks so sexy with glasses. She looks classy and smart. But at the end of the day, it is just a lab coat. We know she can rock anything she puts on, but there is no much effort in this, since it is a disguise, a quite simple one at that. Still, baby you look great!

9. The jammies!

So cozy. We get a glimpse at her everyday life. Still very practical and very red. She seems to wear her make up to bed and leave her clothes on the floor.

We are not only seeing a superthief here, but a beautiful woman that just woke up... literally.

8. Diver suit.

Red, red all over. Completely in character. It is obvious the effort in making this piece useful efficient and stylish all in one. Probably one of Ivy's best works.

7. Duchess disguise.

How did Devineaux didn't recognize that beautiful gray eye! Black suits her just fine. Mysterious and fancy. Shows her figure well and the pantsuit compliments her nice strong legs. Looks good with straight hair (that's the only straight thing that suits her).

You can see here she likes chokers. They are part of most of her outfits.

6. Denim shorts.

Wow talking about nice strong legs! Girl you're just showing off. Don't blame you, keep it up. Sporty look here appropriate for the weather. How can she make a short and a t-shirt look so good is beyond me.

With a matching hoodie when it gets cold.

5. Bikini.

Sadly we could not get a good look at this piece. She was on a bad mood at that particular time and didn't want to get off the chair. Too much sun, she said I've had enough tropical beach to last me a lifetime, she said.

Despite how awesome she probably looks in this swimsuit, I think it does not deserve to be in the top 3.

We know she likes wide hats :)

4. Auction Dress.

Hot hot hot hot! Oh boy it's burning baby! No words for this. My brain just melted when I saw her in this dress for the first time. Red and gold combine so well.

The gloves! so elegant!!!

Did you see her back?! asdjkwashgdfhf!!!! Also I told you she likes chokers.

Bonus! We get a closer look at her shoes! And so does Devineaux :)

Now the next is the Top 3. I believe the next ones really look good on her. Not only because she looks pretty but also because it shows her personality. She feels so confident and comfortable wearing them that she puts them on regularly. Therefore it may not be a surprise they are the top 3.

But before that, the 3 honorable mentions.

Honorable mention # 1.

A cute dress for a cute girl.

Honorable mention #2.

Olé!

Honorable mention #3.

Black sheep.

3. Mumbai outfit.

She wears this the first time in Mumbai. Where she meets Jules. Perfect for hot weather. Nice and casual. Little red belt and unavoidable chocker. Love it. I don't know what else to tell you. Simply fabulous.

She is just so unbelievably cool.

2. The RED COAT.

This is the most recognizable of all. The signature. The trademark. This one is what earns her the nick names. La femme rouge! The crimson ghost! Fedora the explorah!

The agility, the sneakiness, the skillfulness!

This coat represents the path she chose. This is the person she has become. Where the world is in danger of loosing its history she's made her mission to preserve it.

Iconic. Just iconic.

So resourceful! She makes me weak in the knees.

NUMBER 1.

Red Hoodie.

Where the Red Coat dresses the thief, the Red Hoodie warms up the woman. This is Carmen, the girl in her comfy everyday clothes. If she had had a normal life, this is what she would wear.

You know that shirt that you barely take off? The one pair of pants that you wear so often it gets holes at the knees? This is it for Carmen.

This is what she feels most comfortable wearing on a daily basis. It is my opinion that this is the more genuine expression of Carmen Sandiego when it comes to clothes. And for that I give this outfit the first place.

Gorgeous!

Thank you for coming!

Here is Part 2

[komohine]

hello oh my gyad you’re my favourite artist EVER. I love the warm tones of your drawings and the way you draw keith and james is so so pretty (you have 100% converted me to be a jaither) like seriously keith is gorgeous and the outfits you draw him in are ethereal. I have many questions ive been brewing for a little bit and you don’t have to answer all of them but feel free idunoo👍👍👍

1. in the college au, does keith have his cheek scar? if so, how did he get it?

2. what is james’ and keith’s favourite thing to do with each other in free time? in every and any au you have

3. how does wearing clothes bode for james in the android au? does every tiny string get caught between the metal or does he just not wear a shirt half the time? or the third more sinister option, fabric just doesn’t catch in the plating at all

4. what colour are keith’s eyes.

5. does james play any sports/instruments like every freakish extracurricular absent parent having kid ever?

6. thoughts on the keith neurodivergent headcannon?

7. would james ever introduce keith to his family? or is he no contact/they wouldn’t care?

8. do you headcanon keith with any galra features? if so, what are they?

9. favourite food and colour headcanons for the both of them?

10. do you think keith would have any piercings?

+ a singular drawing request, soggy keith (thankyu for reading c:)

Hello i love you guys take notes from this anon please ask more questions like this i wish tumblr allowed me to answer a question more than once but PLEASE ASK HUGE QUESTIONS LIKE THIS I LOVE YAPPING ‼️😄 I LOVE YAPPING ‼️😄

Also THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMEBTS HEEHEE 🙏 i try my very best to deliver fire content 🫡 which is why i havent posted a finished piece in a while… im cooking… 😈 also its way too late for me rn to get out of bed and draw so i will reblog this with soggy keith… sometime later…

Beware a huge freaking wall of text… but id appreciate it so much if anyone reads and responds to my headcanons and adds on 😄

1) TW: ASSAULT. i was debating this, and i think yes but its much smaller than the one he has in canon. He gets it in roughly the same way, an altercation with kuron (evil shiro, except kuron is just a major asshole who isn’t related to shiro but tries to take his place through manipulation. Keith (and everyone except james actually) fell for it). Keith eventually confronted kuron outside a bar after repeated attempts to get closer with keith during their night out and kuron got pissed and pulled a knife. Fortunately keith is also an mma legend and wiped kurons ass but he got a pretty bad cut on his cheek. James made sure everyone knew about what kuron did (james is hella connected because of his parents wealth and also bcs he was trained for a while to inherit his parents company. Also, James is an incredibly smooth talker and can convince anyone of anything. So kuron pretty much has zero chance at a job in the future cause he got blacklisted from everywhere lol). This is me painting sheith as the weird freaky violently uncomfortable shit it actually is lol 😄

2) canon compliant: literally anything that isn’t high risk and stressful. Cooking, reading, sitting on the couch watching bad horror movies and shouting out plot predictions and then laughing when they’re right. Because theyve had too much drama in their life. They really appreciate the times when they can wind down. Playing fetch with kosmo is also fun, because yk teleporting wolf, so they need to get creative to get kosmo to exercise.

College AU: similar, chill things. But because of james’ absolutely insane schedule and keith’s investigative work about his father’s unusual death, they don’t really get much time together outside of studying together, lunch dates (james always makes time for lunch. Well he tries, but he has notoriously bad scheduling luck so he’ll end up with back to back classes from 8 am to 9 pm, no lunch break, or random 2 hour gaps where he needs to go off campus to a diff location for his next class so he cant acc spend those 2 hours relaxing its just him fighting downtown phoenix traffic), etc. but they’re both pretty outdoorsy, so both him and keith like going camping when they can. Its a nice break for the both of them. Also james made keith run a marathon with him once. Keith barely survived, snd slept for 18 hours after, but it was fun! In return keith dragged james to his mma gym and tried to get him to do a kick (because james is one hell of a sprinter. He has sprinter legs. That should theoretically translate super well into an insanely strong kick) but james was too nervous. every time he stepped in the ring he’d just stand there awkwardly and not move. He did send one of those punching bags flying with a kick though after he worked up the confidence (keith was right!)

Android au: uhhh kind of not applicable i fear. I cannot say why. But sometimes james lets keith clean his gun. When things get rough, he’ll let keith fix him up if there’s anything broken.

3) lowkey the sinister third option. Maybe they have some special super tightly knit fabric that’s impossible to catch on things. But also, the androids are designed pretty well, and are surprisingly devoid of super snaggy edges

4) violet. In human au, black, but im a firm believer of him having dark eyes that shine a dusty violet when the light hits them just right

5) canon compliant: TRUMPET AHHAH HES A TRUMPET PRODIGY no actually it makes me a little mad just how good he probably is at trumpet. Like gorgeous, bright tone. Huge dynamic range and lung capacity. Im so mad. Probably also piano. And fencing. He is also extremely good at sabre fencing. And i was saving this hc for later but wtv ill just repeat it: james was the one who taught keith how to wield a sword because i refuse to believe keith picked up his bayard and it formed into a sword just because. No man, its because james would beg keith to practice fencing with him and keith would finally relent and james would teach him pretty much all he knows. And keith remembered those lessons.

College au: track and field. Specifically, sprinting. James is acc so good at sprinting that he went to the olympics twice and won silver in the 200m the first time, and gold in the 100m the second time (lets pretend youssef flash (usain bolt counterpart) stayed home that year for whatever reason). And also ballroom dancing! Like waltzes and shit. Hes such a loser. And probably piano and trumpet too but they’re not so important lore wise.

6) YEEESSSS i also believe in james being neurodivergent in some way. No neurotypical man likes finance that much (my personal headcanon. Also in college au he does high level 1000 page math workbooks for fun.)

7) canon compliant: i havent thought that much abt james’ family in the canon universe. Tbh theyre probably all dead (hence why he reacted so harshly to hunk in that one scene) by the time he and keith get together officially so there’s not much he can do. He’d take keith to his sisters grave just to tell her the news (his older sister was the only person in his family of like 7 that gave a fuck abt him). During their garrison days, he probably never mentioned keith as a way of protecting him from his family.

College au: yes! He tried! Unfortunately his homophobic republican christian parents did not appreciate it. James really introduced keith as a last olive branch because he was alr so close to cutting them off, but their reactions were so bad he lost his temper in public (never before seen) and stormed out halfway through their planned lunch dragging keith by the wrist. And then he cut them off.

8) me personally no. If im being so fr every time i see galra feature Keith it always comes across as infantilizing in some way? 😭 like “ooo kitty ear keith!” somehow you are infantilizing both asians AND a completely made up race guys. The only real feature is maybe his funny coloured eyes? But galra eyes are yellow so uhhh… but i think internally there’s a lot more galra presentation. Like his heat/sickness tolerance, sleep cycle, endurance, etc.

9) i havent really thought of this, i have colours I personally associate with them but hmmm. (Canon compliant, but probably applies to all of my aus) Keith’s favourite colour? I dont think he would really have one specific one but he might list off some colour combos he thinks looks nice. Like red and black. Hes also not super picky, but he really misses his dad’s halo halo. James is too depressed to have a favourite colour. And he likes anything that is a painful experience while consuming. Like very strong and bitter black coffee, straight everclear, your most acrid cigarettes. Because he hates himself.

10) in my college au he has a snake bite! Only one though, on his right (our left) side. Also he has his lobes pierced. I dont think he’d have anything in canon compliant, just bcs his hair is already pushing the garrison guidelines and i dont think they’d let him pierce anything. Maybe earlobes, but thats it. Same goes for android au.

[doubleedgemode]

Here's what I've been working on for the last few days! And somehow I didn't catch til now that I wrote patience instead of patient...

I have been thinking quite a lot about my thoughts on "baby" A.B.A, as I have been seeing a bunch of other people's cool concepts for it. Let me explain the drawings in order and detail, under the cut for your convenience:

1.As we have officially seen, she didn't have a proper baby or child form, looking close enough to how she appeared in the classic games. Still, I imagine her stare is more innocent and somehow looks more tired, scared and disheveled than her current self. I have seen concepts of cool older A.B.As with labcoats, but felt an slightly oversized one was fitting for a barely newborn homunculus that is absolutely alone and confused :(. She grabbed it from somewhere in Frasco, possibly one of her creator's spare coats, but, it being found all torn up and a bit bloody isn't a good sign of whatever happened before she was born... Kept her official just awakened leg sutures, but added some more to drive home how she's a frail, just born frankenstein-esque creature. I hope the neck one is visible. Oh, also, her head key's a bit shinier and cleaner! Idk you, but when drawing this I just wanted to give her a big hug :(.

2. I mentioned Frasco's intriguing ghosts here. Were there before A.B.A was born? If so, coupled with her ability to see ghosts, one could think they at least were a sort of human(ish) interaction for her, but I love to suffer so my headcanon is that they have.. complicated feelings about her. TDLR they find her annoying weird cause... She's A.B.A, and while they're civil and might have shared some chats and moments, the ghosts can get kind of fed up and ignore her. Also they probably have their own deep ghostly business to attend. Sorry. Also, because again I love to suffer, Based on the ghosts wearing what seem like old-timey clothes, I headcanon that they can be mentally old-fashioned and, while NOT fully responsible for this (as again. A.B.A is A.B.A, she gets on troubles and obsessive warped up views of living on her own), their stuck mindset influenced A.B.A to (not that unlike Elphelt) think being a super duper good wife is an important goal and... Being SO into the idea that (her idea) of romantic love will be a panacea for her. Geez this went on and got sad. If it makes you feel better, I based off the little sad A.B.A on sad-looking seal pictures.

3. Eh, this is a short one, just me drawing classic A.B.A to compare it with how I draw my younger design. Slightly more confident, still as pathetic, of course. Even though Paracelsus' head came out much smaller than it should have (:/) I'm very proud of how this one drawing came out!

4. Lastly, as a bonus, my take on a barely formed, not yet born A.B.A. As I've mentioned sometimes, (real life alchemist) Paracelsian homunculi were transparent before they were fully formed, and I like the idea. She's just very small also. Don't ask me about the key, idk how that works, I just wanted to add an A.B.A design piece so it didn't look I just slapped an unrelated humanoid doodle in my post, haha.

[wasteofbandagesxx]

~Fly away with me~

{Nikolai gogol x reader}

Nikolai wanted to take you out on a date. You thought of it as a friendly hangout, but to him, it was more than that. Ever since he met you, he can't help but find interest in you. You looked helpless when he first saw you. You were nothing more but a regular person who just stands there in existence.

"Nikolai, I've forgotten to introduce you to one of my subordinates." A man said, his Russian accent was thick. Nikolai couldn't help but stare at the lovley lady standing next to Fyodor. You looked slightly broken, but her sanity and everything was still there. That's when something clicked in his head. That he wasn't the only one trapped in Fyodor's chains, but you as well. He thought, maybe you guys could be friends. Enjoy each other's company while they are trapped in a cage like helpless birds. Nikolai grabbed your hand and gave it a kiss, giving you one of his silly but handsome smile. "Nikolai Gogol. And you are?" He asks, not letting go of your hand.

"...Y/n."

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turned into years. It's been 2 years since you've guys met. You two were inseparable, that's how close you guys are. Nikolai couldn't help but feel giddy over the past 2 yrs whenever he's around you. You just make him so happy.

"Y/nnnn!!" Nikolai whined as he tried getting your attention. You were too busy reading your favorite book and didn't want to be disturbed. Knowing Nikolai, he will never shut up until he's got your attention. With a dramatic sigh, you placed a golden bookmark in the book to keep track of what page your on. You put the book down and finally gave your attention to the jester. "Yes? What is it, Nikolai?" Nikolai couldn't help but feel excited. "Hmmmm...well. I was hoping we could go and hang out! We're free to do whatever we want today, and this precious time shouldn't be wasted!" He said dramatically. "Alright Alright. Let's go then."

And that's how you ended up here, hand in hand and walking side by side as if you two were a couple. Your the kind of person who's too focused on work and tries hard to satisfy Fyodor's needs. Unlike Nikolai, he is care free and loves to annoy the hell out of him.

You two are at a fancy mall looking at fancy things or whatever, Nikolai was like a toddler and you were his babysitter. "Isn't this place wonderful? So many things to look at!" He said with sparkles in his eyes. You couldn't help but smile at his weird behavior. "Oh! Dove look, let's go up those escalators!" With your in his, he drags you over to the escalator. You don't know why but he for some reason finds it amusing. Once you got to the top floor he took you to get Ice cream at the little ice cream shop. He insisted on paying for once and share ice cream together. "Want cookie dough? Gotcha!" He buys the ice cream and insists on feeding you it.

Later on he would like to take you clothes shopping. "Oh Dove! This dress would look beautiful on you, try it on!"

Nikolai felt like passing out when you tried out the nice dress he wanted you to wear. It was a red dress that came with a Dove necklace. "Do I look ok?" You asked, looking in the mirror and checking yourself out. "You look beautiful. Let's get this one." You turned around and gave Nikolai a suspicious look. "I very much doubt that the money your spending isn't yours." Nikolai giggles and pats your head. "I may of stole some money from Sigma."

"Ofc you did." You sighed.

After buying the dress, you guys went out to a fancy dinner. A lot of girls were staring because of how incredible handsome Nikolai is, and he couldn't help but smile in confidence. He enjoys the attention and thrives on it, and that's what you find funny about him. "You sure do attract a lot of ladies" you giggled and ate a piece of your steak. "I sure do. Sadly for them, I only have an eye for one person and it's none of them."

That got you curious enough to ask, "oh? Who is it?" He grins at your question and takes a quick sip of his wine. "You'll find out soon."

Time passes by fast, it was night time already. Nikolai wanted to go for a walk, he thought that it would be calming to enjoy the nice refreshing air after being in a loud noisy mall. You did enjoy the silence with your best friend. And so did he. You two eventually sat down on the small bridge and stared down at the water. "Isn't it beautiful?? Seeing the reflection of the sky in the water is just beautiful. It's like a movie!" Nikolai says happily, you nodded in agreement and then look up. Nikolai followed your gaze and looks up at the sky too. The stars were shaped as two birds flying away together, Nikolai smiled. He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile this time, it was a sad smile. The stars remind him of how badly he wants to be free, to fly away and be free from emotions. He felt that you were one of the reasons why he felt stuck. Like he was stuck in a cage with a broken wig.

"Dove. Have you ever thought of what free will feels like?" He asked. You looked at him confused, "What are you talking about?" You asked. Nikolai took a deep breath and looked at you, "Freedom, Y/n. Have you ever craved the sweet feeling of freedom? The feeling of being able to fly out of the cage?" He asked again. Of course, you would be too oblivious to understand, thanks to Fyodor with manipulation and mind tricks. Nikolai sighed and turned his body to face you, he grabbed your hands and held them before speaking his mind.

"I want to know what it's like to be free. Life is nothing but emptiness, I use to think Fyodor would fill that emptiness...but I guess not. He was my only friend, or so I thought. But then you came, you came into my life and you filled that emptiness! I want to be free from these emotions, but when it comes to you it's just impossible! Makes me go insane! I spent 2 years thinking about what I want, or how will I be able to possess my own free will with you in the way? But then I realized, not only were you causing me pain, but happiness as well."

You looked at him confused, not knowing what to say before he continued speaking.

"I've come to realize that you are the key to freedom. Like how I am your key as well. You are the reason why I feel sane. I don't feel free because of these feelings I have for you, but the same time I do. You make me feel sane, despite having to live in a dark cruel world we call reality. What I'm saying is that I like you Y/n, I want you to be mine."

You just stood there in shock. Nikolai just smiled silently, hands trembling as he waited for your response. "I want you to be free with me, Dove." He added.

You couldn't help but feel a wave of mixed emotions, you asked yourself if it was love. Hearing Nikolai confess his love for you made you feel warm inside.

"Nikolai...I love you too." You responded.

Nikolai immediately jumped with joy and pulled you into a tight embrace. The warmth of his body made you feel warm and safe, you wanted to melt in his loving embrace. "Oh Dove, I'm so happy you love me too! I can't wait for what the future holds for us!"

You couldn't help but smile at his words, but the next thing he said shocked you to your core.

"Fly away with me. Let's be free together and spread our wings! If your not ready, I'll wait for you."

[stuckonmain]

Two Short trans! Hunter Oneshots

So uh the spirit of transness hath possessed me and I typed these in a fit of passion. In the first one, we have a transmasc Hunter and in the second we have a transfem Hunter. It's pretty much all fluff. I projected hard on Hunter in the first oneshot and Y/N in the second oneshot, so Y/N is very subtly implied to be transmasc in the second oneshot. Should be easy to ignore though.

Uh yeah! Let's go!

***

No.1: Safe (transman!Hunter)

  In which you inform your boyfriend that you do indeed see him as your boyfriend

  I furrowed my eyebrows as I sat by him in his new bedroom at Darius’s house. He was paler than ever, and where his armor usually sat was a white bandage that wrapped around his ribcage tightly.

  “Hunter- you can’t wear that anymore.” I sighed, squeezing his hand.

  “Relax (Y/N). I’m just gonna wear it until I can get my armor back, it’ll be fine!” He said with a bit of a gasp, tightening the bandage further.

  “No! Look, I’m sorry, but this is crushing your lungs! Have you seen your complexion?! Why do you even need something tight there?” I exclaimed. 

  He faltered, looking over at me nervously. “I told you. I’m…I’m used to it, it makes me feel…safe?”

  “Hunter…” I whispered, putting the pieces together. “No pressure, but are you…um…hiding something?”

  “No, no! No I’m not-”

  “Because if you hypothetically needed to hide something…there’s a thing called concealment stones. And I-ahem- may or may not have a spare to give you while you’re trying to blend in as a non-armor wearing citizen.” I coughed.

  “...Oh?” He murmured, looking over to me.

  “Yeah.” I nodded, fishing the red crystal out of my bag- I had been waiting for a reason to use it, and this certainly looked like one to me.

  I pressed it into his hand with a smile. 

  “Thanks.” He whispered. “Can you ah…not tell anyone about…well. What I’m hiding?”

  “Duh. You’re Hunter, regardless of your fuckin’ chest shape. And Hunter is a pretty awesome dude.”

  He smiled and slipped on the red crystal necklace. “Thanks (Y/N). And this…doesn’t change anything then?”

  I scoffed. “Of course not. I don’t frankly care what gender you were assigned at birth. You’re a dude. A man. A boy who I love very much. I just would prefer that you don’t damage your spine is all.” I said, punching him in the arm lightly.

  He beamed, taking my hand. “I love you.”

  “Likewise, dork boy. No matter what.”

***

No.2: Something to Tell Ya (transgirl! Hunter)

In which your boyfriend might not be your boyfriend

  “Hey (Y/N)...” Said Hunter quietly as we stood in the human mall. “Can I ask you something…weird?” 

  I raised my eyebrow. “Er…what? Good weird or bad weird?”

  He shrugged. “I…don’t know?”

  I looked over at the rest of our group as they chattered loudly. “Is it something we should say in private?”

  “Probably, but I just…need to tell someone. Like, now.” He whispered. “And you’re my partner, and you know a little bit more than me about…um…women’s clothes.”

  I nodded hesitantly. “Do you want to talk alone here in the mall? I can tell the group that we’re just…exploring or something, would you like that?”

  He nodded, squeezing my hand nervously.

  I frowned, looking over to Luz. “Uh, Luz, let Camila know that Hunter and I will be right back, okay?”

  “Okay-”

  “Great, bye.” I smiled and pulled Hunter towards the single use restrooms.

  “Okay…that’ll do, pig.” I said, locking the door behind us.

  “Thanks.” Hunter said, still quiet. “I’m sorry about this, (Y/N), really, but I guess I just feel so sick of not saying things…and I know I can trust you.”

  I put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “You can tell me anything, you’re safe here.”

  He hugged me back, leaning against the doors. “So…well..this is weird! But um…um. I think…I think I’m a girl!”

  I raised an eyebrow. Not quite what I expected, but not unsurprising.

“Oh. Cool.” I smiled. “Do you want me to call you she/her?”

  “You’re not mad?” He- er, they whispered.

  “Of course not. I love you. When you’re happy, I’m happy.” I smiled.

  “Then uh…yeah. I’d…like that a lot.” She murmured, eyes watering.

  “Hey.” I said softly, hugging her again. “Is that why you wanted to tell me now? Would you like some help…getting some new clothes?”

  She wiped her eyes and nodded. 

  “Cool. I’d love to help you!” I grinned. “Now I can use all my wonderful fashion knowledge! So…do you know what you're comfortable with?” 

  She shook her head. 

  “Hm, okay…I can work with that.” I nodded thoughtfully. 

  “Are you sure you’ll still wanna…date me?” She said quietly, tugging at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. “If I’m…you know, not a guy?”

  “Jokes on you, I like both, and more importantly, you’re still you. You’re still the witch that I love dearly, regardless of your gender.” I said, rubbing her shoulder.

  She smiled, wiping her eyes again. “I love you too.”

  I wiped her tears with my sweater sleeve and smiled back. “Do you wanna start experimenting today then, or is that moving too fast? I have some old makeup in my bag if you wanna try now…”

  She nodded hard. “I…I’d like to start now. I’ve um…been wanting to. Cue the makeover montage?”

  “Hell yeah!” I grinned, opening my satchel to dig out the makeup. “I am honored to serve you your first makeover montage!”

  ***

Uh okay, thank you for humoring my transgender impulses. We will be back to my usual content in a bit lol

[m4dm4yhem]

TRANS FEM MILES MORALES HCS:

a/n: if you have a problem with this harmless hc I honestly do not give a fuck “ he’s a boy!” okay nigga she’s gonna be a girl today.. if you try and start shit with me in MY comment section or MY inbox I will not hesitate to say something because the trans masc hc is received wonderfully but the transfem one isn’t, and it just shows people’s transphobia, so if you say ANYTHING, I will not only turn off anonymous comments but I will also say shit if necessary

when she first realized she was trans, she went by miley; other people assumed she just wanted her family to keep a piece of her forever, but honest she just liked miley cyrus

her name now is melody, because of her love of music, and how she was trying to love herself as a woman, she thought if she attempted to name herself that was something related to something she adored.. that she would start to feel more comfortable in her own skin.. it worked a little, the name ‘ melody’ made her happy, and it helped her with her dysphoria too

she came out to her mom first, and rio was confused, but not surprised. the kid she raised usually had girl friends, and liked to dress up in girl clothes. transgender was a new concept for rio, but she did research how to care for transgender kids, because since she didn’t understand much of it and didn’t want to be offensive.

jefferson was MAJORLY confused when he found out he had a daughter instead of what he thought, he was very open minded about it, and he was researching as well

jefferson adjusted well, he’s a normal father of a girl, doesn’t let her go outside of her dress is too short, or if she’s wearing a crop top.. if she has her jacket zipped up outside of winter time, he’s making her unzip it

“ hey…c’mere..”

he’d do that finger thing parents do when they want you to come close, melody would reluctantly come forward, standing in front of her father with a knowing look on her face,

“ you know what im gonna ask you.”

he said softly, pointing towards her zipped up jacket,

“ c’mon! dad.. im not wearing anything under here!” “ then you have no problem unzipping it.”

jefferson shrugged his shoulders, and melody sighed unzipping her jacket, showing the spaghetti strap tank top she had on under the jacket. jefferson looked over the outfit his daughter had on and gave a nod of approval,

“ keep that jacket at least halfway zipped up.”

she wasn’t gonna lie and say she enjoyed that one thing about being a girl, but it did make her smile when she got a moment to herself.. because it meant her father saw her as his daughter.

her bonnet is pink, and she absolutely loves it

she doesn’t get her eyelashes done, she lets mascara do the job, because she’d rather spend fourteen dollars.. than possibly a couple hundred for longer lashes, she does get her eyebrows threaded though

she isn’t a girl that over lines her lips when doing makeup, her lips are already full and plump so she lines them the shape they normally are, she does black or brown liner.. depends on the day.

clear and pink lipgloss are her go tos.

she felt a little embarrassed, the first few days of being trans as spiderwoman, because she’d have to correct villains when they addressed her with he/him instead of she/her… surprisingly.. a good portion of them respected her wishes and apologized

the first time she got her hair done, she had gotten butterfly locs, and it felt weird.. having her hair done.. when she was so used to her afro, and it hurt.. as she was extremely tender-headed… but she liked it, she liked it more than she originally thought she might’ve.

her favorite colors to get when she gets butterfly locs or distressed locs are normally black.. but now she adds either a few blonde highlights.. because she misses gwen.. a few pink ones.. again because she misses gwen.. or maybe red because of her spider suit.

PART 2.. COMING SOON

[amysterywrappedinanenigma]

Ranking (bullying) LD Curtain's season 2 fashion choices

Because even if the show seems to have forgiven him, I sure haven’t. 

DISCLAIMER: This is in NO WAY criticizing the costume designers of this show- it couldn’t be farther from that. They’ve done an amazing job with every single piece in the show, and all of these fit Curtain’s personality and aesthetic perfectly. This is just me mocking the in-universe fashion choices that the character makes, because he needs to be bullied more. All lighthearted, all in good fun.

Disclaimer #2: I know literally nothing about fashion, please don’t attack me. 

Okay, from least heinous to most heinous, here we go! 

First up:

As much as it pains me to admit this. I actually. Really like this one. (”And if you told me I would never say something like that, well, I would never say something like that, but here we are.”) I think the silhouette is interesting, and all of the pieces come together well. Plus, in some of the tighter shots you can see that the fabric texture and detailing is really cool:

The leaves as clasps and that crinkly texture kind of really slap, and I really love the way the collar sort of wraps into the placket.

8 / 10

Interview outfit:

Wow, look! Another one that doesn't inspire immediate feelings of rage! We're doing so well.

This one isn't as visually interesting as the first outfit, but I do sort of like it. The collar folds create kind of a cool shape, and the grey accents under the top is a nice little contrast. I don't know how I feel about the zipper right below the collar, it's kind of a weird choice and might look better if it wasn't so visible, but I'll let it slide for this one since we have a much more heinous zipper situation coming up later.

I like the contrasting shades of blue with the button up shirt, and the lavender shirt he wears under it later in the episode, and the fact that part of the collar can kind of fold down to make a different shape.

6 / 10

Clown sleeves:

So the sleeves on this one are. kind of a lot. But they gain a couple of points for being the only thing in this outfit that really pops. They're sort of weird, but I can see the appeal of them standing out against the black vest, and being a pretty nice contrast that draws the eye.

5 / 10

Meh:

Time for the part of the post where I include 6 outfits that I just kind of don't have strong opinions on, mainly because they feel like pretty standard, decent outfits with no real reason to bat an eye at them.

The last image is saved on my computer as "are those your pajamas?" but. acceptable.

sure / 10

Dancy dance:

🧍‍♂️

I don't have much to say about this one other than, for some reason, the visual of him wearing tennis shoes makes me viscerally uncomfortable.

🤡 / 10

Elizabeth Holmes Chic:

He looks like a kid playing dress-up in their dad's giant overcoat, except someone let him go outside looking like this. I know oversized clothing items can be fashionable but here he's like drowning in it.

And then when he takes the coat off:

This maybe wouldn’t be a terrible outfit, it’s just so goddamn pretentious. He seems like he's trying to look like Steve Jobs, but ended up looking more like Elizabeth Holmes.

about to start another pyramid scheme / 10

Vacation dad (derogatory):

On someone else I might like this outfit, but on him it just looks so dumb. He looks like he's about to go skydiving with how much he's buttoned up. Better watch out or he could get carried away and spend 20 minutes unstrapping and unbuttoning it to reveal his fun little vacation shirt underneath! It's somehow stupidly formal and stupidly casual at the same time, and I just think it's a very silly little outfit. He's joining the army as penance for his fashion crimes. If you ask very very nicely he might tell you what's in his four huge, weirdly-placed pockets.

what's in the pockets / 10

And now.

We've arrived. We're finally here. The last one. The moment we've all been waiting for.

The worst of the worst:

I'll be honest, I don't really know where to start this one. There are too many things to choose from. Do I start with the weird asymmetrical pattern on the sleeves, with the red and blue stripes that aren't even made up of the same type of pattern?

Or maybe the fact that the buttons (and the piece of fabric they're attached to) ends too high above the neckline of the top layer?

Or we could talk about the fact that the top layer looks like one of those smocks you'd wear to get an x-ray at the dentist, made in a fabric that must have been rescued from the back of a fabric store after 50 years of not being bought.

I think by far the worst part is the length:

The fact that those strange little smock flaps go almost a foot past the zipper, halfway down to his knees. It swallows like 2/3rds of his body in this horrible block of grey fabric, and this man has the audacity to carry himself like it’s fashionable, instead of an assault on the senses. 

I want to set it on fire. I want to burn him along with it. I want to gently take his tailor aside and ask if Curtain held him at knife point and made him design this monstrosity. TEAR IT TO PIECES, GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT, TURN IT INTO SCRAPS FOR SQ'S ART PROJECTS.

Anyway.

This outfit is such a menace to this world that I thought everyone should get a chance to tear it to shreds, so presenting, the communal roast:

“GROSS. SHUN.” -@mvshortcut

"prison chic. dentist x-ray chic. ugly." -@mysteriouseggsbenedict 

“the terrible zip up vest that just keeps on going fucked a potato sack” -@bi-demon-ium

“runway model for the most pretentious fashion designer who ever lived” - @sqenthusiast

“Trying to be casual but also Better Than You. The definition of 'you really thought you did something there'” -@echo-delta

“Child with one of those books where you can draw clothes over top the shape of a person” -@mysteriouseggsbenedict 

“Mr Curtain sir I don’t feel very happy looking at this. I think it’s a little counterproductive.” -@mvshortcut

Truly horrendous.

borrowing constance's acid to destroy the outfit and then clean the eyes of anyone who wants to forget they saw this monstrosity / 10

Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me, and as always, send the x-ray bib to hell.

[feekins]

and now, my thoughts and things and whatever translation weirdness I find as I re-read ch 2 of Trigun Maximum vol 5!

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

both translations are a little vague imo. I will say - previously, I thought this was a case of "dude, you're not fooling anyone. we know you wanna perv on that blind chick. drop the pretense and just go around back for your little thing." which I still think it could easily be? but reading the Overhaul's translation, it's just hit me that this could also be, like...an ableism thing? like "ugh, what a freak." but imo both translations boil down to the same thing: "ugh, what an unsightly thing." ☹️

this is a tiny detail I never noticed before - as Hoppered's getting closer, the first sign of trouble is the screaming...and then, the way that one panel is framed, we know something is significant about the fact that this door is unlocked. that never occurred to me. so yeah. given the context, it's confirmation that something isn't right.

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

Dark Horse always confused me with that message bit. like. okay? and what was it? why mention it if it isn't important and you aren't gonna go into it? but visually, it fits the context, I guess - he's delivering a piece of paper, the paper must have something on it. sounds reasonable enough. the Overhaul's translation with the supplies kinda makes more sense, but I'm still curious - supplies for what? and are they special supplies? or like...everyday stuff? like this guy is just his DoorDasher...?

anyway. it seems like Dark Horse leans into the "sex toy" angle, whereas...idk, I just don't get that feel from the Overhaul's translation. like...yeah, she's blind, but it sounds like a nice thing Hoppered's doing, having nice clothes for her to wear. that's a "quality of life" thing in my book...

the Overhaul's translation leans more into the "other-ness" of Hoppered and this blind lady. their circumstances are both very isolating, but they aren't entirely alone... 🥺

no comment - just interesting differences in wording choices ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

then Dark Horse's translation...kinda makes it sound like Midvalley's minimizing Wolfwood's abilities? "you ONLY have THIS ONE THING and yet you KEEP GOING." in the Overhaul's, it's like. this thing is what makes Wolfwood so formidable. also, that last bit is interesting - "darkness under another name" VS "you walk the path of darkness" 🤔

and

FUCK

YEAH

MILLY!!!!!!!!

[kitsipher]

Dear anonymous person who sent me this, uh.... I broke it and now I can't respond to your ask :3

1. What is you middle name? : Layne

2. How old are you? : 14!!

3. When is your birthday? : February 16th

4. What is your zodiac sign? : Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? : Blue/green/purple

6. What’s your lucky number? : 4 ig?

7. Do you have any pets? : 3 dogs, 6 cats, 1 ferret, and fish:3

8. Where are you from? : AMERICAAA YAAAAA (Washington state)

9. How tall are you? : 5'5 -ish

10. What shoe size are you? : 9 1/2 - 10 (wide) ((very flat footed))

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? : erm at least 7

12. What was your last dream about? : Minecraft

13. What talents do you have? : uhm.. I can shape my tongue like an clover

14. Are you psychic in any way? : I can feel when the vibe is off trust

15. Favorite song? : Erm.. The Summoning-Sleep token

16. Favorite movie? : Monty Python: the holy grail

17. Who would be your ideal partner? : Idrc someone nice and artistic ig

18. Do you want children? : at least one

19. Do you want a church wedding? : not really

20. Are you religious? : Not really, I am spiritual tho-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? : Plenty of times ✨️

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? : No✨️

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? : No but I met my town's mayor when I was younger

24. Baths or showers? : Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? : Mismatch!! (One pink and white and one grey and white)

26. Have you ever been famous? :I don't think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? : not really

28. What type of music do you like? : Indie rock, and rock (I'll listen to anything though-)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? : NOOO

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? : at most 3, usually 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? : side

32. How big is your house? : 2 stories

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? : cereal maybe (usually I just snack on stuff)

34. Have you ever fired a gun? : Yes >:)

35. Have you ever tried archery? : Yes again- I feel like Merida when archery

36. Favorite clean word? : Fridge

37. Favorite swear word? : I don't curse

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? : a day and a half

39. Do you have any scars? : side of my foot, my shin, both my knees, my arms

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? : yes..

41. Are you a good liar? : I don't believe so

42. Are you a good judge of character? : most of the time

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? : Southern and Australian (the Australian one isn't very good)

44. Do you have a strong accent? : No clue, I say stuff weird tho

45. What is your favorite accent? : Southern

46. What is your personality type? : Up beat, outgoing, and creative ig

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? : a hoodie ✨️

48. Can you curl your tongue? : Yes, Clover shape

49. Are you an innie or an outie? : innie

50. Left or right handed? : Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? : I'm startled by spiders

52. Favorite food? : Stroganoff and lasagna

53. Favorite foreign food? : Stroganoff?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? : Clean

55. Most used phrased? : "Gosh narbit" "fight me" and "What the fridge"

56. Most used word? : "Fridge" or "Like"

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? : a little less than 10 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? : a bit

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? : Bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? : yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? : yes

62. Are you a good singer? : I don't feel like it

63. Biggest Fear? : Being stared at

64. Are you a gossip? : no

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? : erm..?

66. Do you like long or short hair? : Shorter hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? : Nope

68. Favorite school subject? : I had to make my own village

69. Extrovert or Introvert? : extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? : nope

71. What makes you nervous? : heights

72. Are you scared of the dark? : A little (more of what I see in the dark)

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? : Yes

74. Are you ticklish? : You gotta tickle me in a certain way

75. Have you ever started a rumor? : nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? : yep

77. Have you ever drank underage? : .... no... ( a little bit not enough to get me drunk. a little taste)

78. Have you ever done drugs? : no

79. Who was your first real crush? : no

80. How many piercings do you have? : two on each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ : nope

82. How fast can you type? : pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? : girl I'm asthmatic

84. What color is your hair? : Ginger

85. What color is your eyes? : hazel mostly green

86. What are you allergic to? : Penecilin, fake metal, adhesives

87. Do you keep a journal? : yes but I often forget it

88. What do your parents do? : .y mom is an artist and my dad is table games at the casino

89. Do you like your age? : yes

90. What makes you angry? : Idiots

91. Do you like your own name? : Yes

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? : Sam

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? : idc

94. What are you strengths? : I'm creative

95. What are your weaknesses? : Overthinking

96. How did you get your name? : Season

97. Were your ancestors royalty? : No? They were vikings and the president George Washington tho

98. Do you have any scars? : yes

99. Color of your bedspread? : blue

100. Color of your room? : also blue

[20dollarlolita]

30 day lolita challenge, day 2

I haven't forgotten about this. It's just that day #2 is "10 things you love about lolita" and this crap with my local community mods deciding that they rule the world and banning someone for not knowing their made-up redefinition of a term used for a very serious crime into accidentally posting selfies without asking has made me, you know, not really love lolita right now.

So let's go.

For those of you who missed the last post, I'm doing the 30 Day Lolita Challenge (in more than 30 days) that was created in 2011 by The Random Lolita. This series is tagged "20dollarlolita 30daylorlolita challenge" in case you want to black list that tag.

Okay.

One, I love the rules. I love having a really firm guideline on what elements of a look to build and wear. I spend a lot of time in normal fashion worrying about "this is wrong" but without anyone to explain why, so I love being in a fashion where it's more spelled out.

Two, I love the details. I like that, when you zoom in on any part of a nice lolita coordinate, there's more and more to look at. I like that our dresses are the high-resolution image and the rest of the world is a 3 megapixel JPEG.

Three, I love the absolute absurdity of it. I spent almost all of high school trying to not be weird, and I think that reflects in adult me by latching onto a fashion where no one outside the fashion will think it's normal.

Four, I love the way people react when they get to see a nice piece up close. Any time i get to show a dress to a coworker or friend who sews or does fashion, and they go, "I get why you're into this." It's just so nice.

Five, I love building things myself. I know how to make a dress, but when I make a really good lolita garment, I have a price tag to compare my work to. It's kind of discouraging as someone who sews when you spend $90 and 25 hours of work to make the same blouse that you can get at Walmart for $11, so the fact that a lolita blouse can be $200 makes me feel less bad about my work. I love creating my own lolita fashion for the same reason I love making my own coords. There's a set of rules, and I get to follow those rules, and I can do absolutely anything in the world as long as I follow those rules. The level of freedom you get when you go "You can do anything as long as it's X" is something that I think everyone craves in some form or another, so I love that I'm in a hobby where that's what it is.

Six, I love how people react to my clothes. I used to joke that it was because people see the clothes and judge based on that, so no stranger is judging the rest of you. You stand out, but that makes you more anonymous. Now, I say the exact same thing, but it's not a joke. I think being somewhat socially awkward often leads people to lolita fashion. I often joke that I'm not a person, and am actually either a time-traveling android or a hallucination caused by a sentient cloud, because it feels like the entire world got a How To Be Human manual except me. Well, when you don't have the manual, you make up the rules, and wearing lolita fashion out means that I take those rules away from everyone else, too. No stranger knows how to react to this shit, so it doesn't matter that I don't know what I'm doing, either.

Seven, I love the old Livejournal and Blogger and Wordpress blogs that are still around. I'm doing a lolita challenge that's 12 years old. When you read one of those, you're connected to them through time. Our lolita ancestors aren't too far away, but even if they've left the fashion, their wisdom lives on. So many people are still being helped by @lolita-tips even though the blog is no longer active. Connected to this is every Lolibrary post made by AmethystCitrine, who died in about 10 years ago (at the age of 25), but whose contributions to the lolita community are still used every day. We're connected to the people who've helped the lolita community before us, and we're connected to the future by the resources we create today. What people have given to the community will

Eight, I love Lolibrary. Y'all ever think about how absolutely insane it is that we have every single piece of the fashion that we can get our hands on documented and easily searchable? I don't know anything else that is like that. I love just looking through various years and trends. I love finding something online and immediately having access to what year it came out. Prior to Lolibrary, there was a site called HelloLace that tried to document all lolita fashion history, but it wasn't as thorough. Even though it's long gone, every time I see HelloLace links, I'm filled with massive nostalgia.

Nine, I love connecting with people through the fashion. Seeing people who are dressed in lolita, and having a secret kind of language like JSK and OP and knowing brands, sharing Taobao shopping services, all of that. It's an immediate connection with someone. I think this links back to socially awkward people using lolita fashion to help with social skills, but it's also a kind of connection that I just love.

Ten, I love how much everything is reused. Buying broken things and fixing them, restoring or reusing or recycling things. It gives us a connection to the past. Our culture of reuse before disposing of things isn't something I see so much in the rest of my life, so I love that I can retreat into it in lolita. Skills like how to fix and modify things are much more valuable in lolita fashion than in mainstream fashion. It's just very cool to me. I love finding things as class D on Wunderwelt or Closet Child and making them valuable to me.

I don't know if that's my top 10 things, but it's ten things. If tumblr would stop absolutely forcing things with 1) at the beginning into a really ugly looking list, I'd like that.

And with that bit of semi-forced positivity, it's time to go to sleep. Good night everyone.

[zacharybosch]

Tasseomancy inspo part 2: Clothes and stuff

Part two of my post detailing the inspiration behind my Ed/Stede sugar daddy AU fic Tasseomancy. Part one (covering the setting) is here.

This part covers all the clothes, accessories, tea, and other stuff that Ed and Stede wear/buy/consume in the fic. Like Stede, I am unfortunately a bit of a clothes horse, so gird your loins for some over-enthusiastic gushing about fabrics.

☕

Teas

Ed and Stede enjoy a few different tea blends in this fic, and it’s where the title comes from - tasseomancy (aka tasseography, tasseology) is the practice of reading fortunes in tea leaves.

Blue Lady is the first tea they share together. I picked it because 1. it’s really yummy, and 2. it’s a little bit floral and a little bit citrus-y and I think that suits Ed and Stede nicely :) I first started drinking this tea about a year ago and it’s so fucking delicious. My favourite variety comes from HR Higgins, but it’s pretty pricey so I try to drink it sparingly. This tea is also incredible as a cold brew - the flavour is more delicate, but it also makes it a lot easier to taste all the subtle little notes in there.

The three teas that Ed brings to Stede during his formal seduction are all from Bird & Blend. Tea Wells is an interesting one, sometimes if I drink it too quickly it makes me feel a little bit drunk?? which is very weird, but I have also had this experience with other green teas in the past. If you drink it at a normal pace though it’s a nice little pick-me-up, and the flowers and fruit pieces cancel out any bitterness that can sometimes develop in green teas.

Also it is very pretty, look at it:

Mint Choc Rooibos is the next tea that Ed brings, at lunch time. I’m actually not particularly keen on this one, but my boyfriend is obsessed with it and it’s the blend that managed to convert him into a tea-drinker. It’s sweet and creamy and even has cocoa shells in it, although when I had a little sippy I couldn’t really taste any chocolate coming through.

Finally, Ed brings a cup of Lady Lavender for Stede at the end of his work day. This is just a traditional Earl Grey blend with lavender added in. I drank a lot of this while writing the fic :)

Recipes

Ed makes boil up for his and Stede’s date night. The recipe I referenced is by Maori chef Cameron Petley, from his book ‘Hunter from the Heartland’. Boil up is a traditional Maori dish, basically a broth or soup with dumplings, and I haven’t made it myself but it sounds yummy as fuck. I love stewy soupy things, and I especially love dumplings. 

It’s around the middle of October when Ed cooks this for Stede, so it’s perfect for a chilly night. It also represents home, comfort, and love for Ed, so of course he wants to give those things to Stede as well :)

Ed also makes some Sidecar mocktails. When I saw that the recipe called for both tea and marmalade, I couldn’t not include it in the fic. I haven’t tried making this either - I’m not 100% sure if I’d like it tbh, since the one time I tried lapsang souchong tea I just found it way too smoky for my tastes.

Clothes and thingies~

I’m going to do the rest of these by chapter, since there’s quite a lot :’)

Chapter 3 - the trip to the department store

Stede is, of course, wearing this AU’s version of the pink bird robe. I picked a camp collar (or cuban collar) shirt as it’s a bit more casual, and because Stede wears suits all the time it can be very easy to fall into the trap of looking like he’s always on his way to a formal event or something. 

I knew I wanted the shirt to be silk, but since it’s already quite loud with the bright pink and all the birds and flowers, I didn’t want it to also be shiny in the way that a silk satin or charmeuse are. So I picked a sandwashed silk instead - it has all the gorgeous drape and delicate fluidity of a charmeuse, but its sheen is much more subtle.

And then I decided his suit should be a kind of bronzey-brown, since in the episode where we first see Stede in the robe, the suit he (briefly) wears after taking the robe off is kinda bronze.

Ed wears a pair of Dickie’s overalls for the shopping trip, similar to the pic below but a bit more shapely and sexy since this is my fantasy world and I can do whatever I want. 

I specifically wanted Ed to wear and look good in something that he already owned in order to try and avoid Pretty Woman-ing him, implying that he doesn’t look good until his clothes are completely swapped out for a load of expensive designer stuff. I also wanted to show that his natural personal style is already solid, and Stede isn’t there to change it, just to help him nurture and develop it.

Then of course we also have the Yves Saint Laurent sunglasses, which Ed very quickly decided belonged to him forever. If you want to buy these, they will set you back a cool £335!

Ed buys several things for himself from the department store, but the only things I properly envisioned were the cashmere-silk blend crop t-shirt, and the medusa belt.

The t-shirt is just this AU’s version of his sexy pirate crop top, obviously, but the belt is a Versace belt. The medusa is a recurring symbol in a lot of Versace’s stuff and they’ve made tonnes of belts over the years, mostly with a less-detailed cast of their medusa symbol, but I found this more detailed one on an auction site which I thought was very cool. And snakes, because of course.

The silk scarves that Ed bought for Stede (and which Stede then wears constantly forever because he and Ed are such good buddies 😇) aren’t based on any scarves in particular, but I was thinking about Liberty, their lovely illustrative silk scarf designs, and also their extensive archive of heritage fabric patterns for their haberdashery.

Chapter 7 - the trip to the Old Quarter

The perfume that Ed buys for Stede from the fancy shampoo shop is Decadence & Debauchery, made by the perfume house For Strange Women. Please believe me when I tell you that this. Perfume. Smells. So. Fucking. Good. I got a bottle of it a few years ago and I just. Hhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s very deep and sexy and a bit masc and I just. Get feelings when I wear it. So I had to include it in the fic, because Reasons 🥴

For Ed’s purple suit, I was thinking about that peachy-coloured suit that Taika wore, and more specifically I was thinking about the cute little crossover element. The peach suit looks like it’s made of a cotton-linen blend or something else fairly structured, but for the purple suit I picked a light wool crepe so it would be softer and more fluid and drape really nicely. I ditched the three-piece and kept it to just trousers and a jacket, and chose a shawl collar instead of the classic notched lapel to keep up the soft vibes.

I KNOW I don’t need to put a pic here of Taika in the peach suit because we are all well aware what it looks like...... but I’m going to anyway because he is very sexy and I enjoy looking at him.

And here’s some purple wool crepe fabric, see how the folds here are soft and rounded, while in the pic above the folds are much sharper? Fabric 👌

Chapter 8 - date night at Ed’s house

The boys are both wearing Bottega Veneta for their date.

Stede is in this gorgeous light wool pistachio green suit that I am very much in love with. The colour, the lines, the cute breast pocket flap, I am honestly just enchanted and I think Stede would look lovely in it. I thought it would look nice with a lilac t-shirt just because I’ve been really digging pale green and lilac together lately and I reckon it’d look great with Stede’s colouring, and also because if I put Stede in a shirt-shirt then he’s going to look too formal and this is a cosy and relaxed date night :)

If you want to buy it, the jacket alone costs almost £2000!!! Can you believe that Stede jerked off in this??!

For Ed’s look, I wanted something that was a bit cosy, a bit comfy, a bit cheeky and sexy - he’s at home and having fun and feeling himself, and also planning on absolutely boning down with Stede. I actually couldn’t find a product listing for this sweater on the Bottega Veneta website, it’s just worn by this model in a product listing for some (rather questionable) leather shorts. I didn’t have anything specific in mind for his jeans - they’re probably just a pair he’s had forever and that are perfectly moulded to hug all his good bits.

Chapter 9 - egg-smashing breakfast

I didn’t have a specific brand in mind for the jewellery that Stede buys with Ed’s credit card, but I was thinking along the lines of Alighieri, Ottoman Hands, and Schiaparelli - they all make beautiful, interesting stuff with that molten gold texture. To be honest, Schiaparelli is probably a little bit too out there for Stede, but I can totally see Ed wearing some of their huge weird earrings.

[violetnerves]

The Rise and Fall of Jenny Hopkins, Aged 15 - Chapter 2: The Setup.

Ok, so this took me about a month and I feel bad about it. It really shouldn't have taken me that long since this chapter is mostly about the actual mission from the game plus some bits of Jenny's backstory. But here it is, and the editing on it is minimal at best. Constructive criticism would be appreciated.

Anyway, Content warning for some ableist language and sexism.

Word Count: 8799

My eyelids fluttered open as sunlight peeked through the blinds of the dorm windows, hitting my face and rudely waking me up. Just to really rub it in, my alarm clock went off. The ring rattled my ears, and I slammed my hand down on the stupid piece of junk.

I let out a grumble, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, followed by a yawn. Then my back started acting up, and I grumbled.

A single thought came to my mind.

'Why does school have to start so damn early?'

I heard Trisha sit up, obviously awoken by my loud alarm clock since her side of the room didn't have the sun shining on it.

It was odd that she looked more put together than she did yesterday, despite having bed-head that would put Bob Ross' afro to shame.

We met eye to eye, and for a bit, there was an awkward silence in the room. The only sounds I could hear were the outside movements of the other girls in the dorm getting ready for the day.

Trisha looked down, then back up to me again. She bit her lip. She gave me a pair of finger guns, in a bad attempt to, I assume, be funny to make the obvious tension in the room disappear. It didn't work.

"Hey... Jenny, right? Can we... talk about yesterday?"

I shook my head, getting out of bed and opening up the large dresser next to it. I tossed a white button-up shirt with the Bullworth Academy crest sewn into it on my bed, along with the blue plaid skirt, socks, and a bra.

I turned to give her the nastiest glare I could muster, mainly as a warning. Just to rub it in that I didn't want anything to do with her, I added in a small warning as I focused on putting on my uniform.

"Not interested, don't even bother."

"Aw... C'mon..."

I heard her get off the bed and start walking closer to me. Before she could get too close, my head snapped in her direction.

The sudden movement caused her to hop back a little, holding her hands up in front of her. I'd assume I looked pretty pissed off since the way she put her hands up was clearly defensive.

The only thing I could see her wearing was a long t-shirt with the name of some emo boy band that swamped her rail-thin body just above her knees. I didn't know if she was wearing any shorts underneath since the length of the t-shirt hid her hips. For some reason, she still wore those arm warmers from yesterday. Does she just not take those off at all?

"Look... About yesterday..."

I spat my reply out in the rudest way I knew how.

"Yeah? What? Oh yeah, no big deal. You were gonna record me getting my ass kicked by your buddies so you could all chuckle at it later over whatever crappy take-out food this dump of a towns' got! I already know about that, I don't need you to remind me, ya freak!"

This girl stared at me, lip trembling with those big, obnoxious, and freaky green eyes of hers looking like they were about to start bursting into tears at any second. Before I could tell her to just fuck off, however, the door to our room opened.

Mrs. Peabody walked in, dressed in what looked like the same outfit she'd worn yesterday - more than likely, she was one of those weird people who had multiples of the same clothes. She took one look at me, then over to Trisha. Compared to how she eyed me, it was similar to how you'd look at a dirty mutt compared to a disease ridden rat.

Sure, I wasn't very happy with Trisha... but the way the older woman looked at her in disgust just rubbed me the wrong way. She barely even tried to hide her contempt for the girl. Shit, even I don't think anybodys' has ever even looked at me like that, and i've been enough of a bitch in my life to warrant it.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Jane?" Mrs. Peabody's eyes were firmly on Trisha even though she was clearly talking to me. "Is she bothering you?"

I looked her in the eye and shook my head.

"No ma'am, we just... disagreed on something. S'not anything that important."

Mrs. Peabody didn't seem entirely convinced, but in response, she simply nodded and closed the door. I could hear the sound of her footsteps fading as she walked away, her muffled voice talking to one of the other girls in the building.

I sighed, shaking my head and slipping my pajama shirt off.

While tugging my bra on, I looked over to Trisha, who seemed a bit confused at the fact that I hadn't bothered to tell on her.

"What is it? What's with the face?"

It took her about a minute to actually say anything, and in that time, I was already halfway dressed.

"...How come you didn't tell on me?" Trisha asked, circling her fingers together nervously. I had to wonder why this girl was hanging out with those jerks. You'd think she'd be just another girl to pick on for them.

I shrugged, buttoning up my shirt with my neck tie undone and hanging around my neck. I didn't want to talk to her for longer than I needed to, so I kept my answers short.

"I don't like you, but with the way Mrs. Peabody was looking at you, I think she's way worse." I haphazardly tied my neck tie sloppily, not caring much for how it looked, nevermind what other people would think about it. "She seems like a nasty old hag."

Trisha seemed to chuckle a little at that.

"Oh, you have no idea... We can barely do anything in the dorm without old Peabody riding our butts about it... Well..." Trisha looked over at the door then back to me. "Unless you're Mandy Wiles, then you can basically do anything you want. The favoritism is unreal!"

Oh, of course Mrs. Peabody's got favorites. Old, bitter women like her tend to have them, mainly as a weird projection kind of thing. Some weird way to relive their youth.

Hm, well, since the girl is already blabbing, I might as well get some info about the other girls out of her. Gary had been more than generous with telling me all about the boys of the various cliques yesterday, but he'd been pretty quiet about the girls.

Which was odd, surely the girls around here had some kind of influence?

"Who's Mandy? Should I be concerned about her?"

Trisha didn't hesitate to nod and replied back, "Ooohhh, yeah, definitely! I wouldn't start anything with her. Not only is she Mrs. Peabody's favorite, but she's also a part of the most popular clique in the Academy! You'd be committing social suicide if you try and even push back against her picking on you!"

I rolled my eyes as I tied my neck tie, which ended up looking sloppily done by the time I was finished. Meh, if I get yelled at for it, then I get yelled at. I've been yelled at so many times for the dumbest things that it got to the point where I barely acknowledged it anymore, even if I had genuinely done something wrong.

"Yeah... she sounds real threatening. Look, if she tries anything with me, I'm giving her a swirly. It's pretty much my go-to method for knocking morons like that off their high and mighty pedestal. Getting your head shoved in a toilet can be a real humbling experience, lemme tell ya."

Trisha laughed nervously, fidgeting with her hands.

"Yeah... I mean, that's not a good idea, and I don't agree with you doing that... buuuttt, if you actually go through with that, can you make sure to tell me?" The blonde girl eyed me, almost pleadingly, and in a tone that seemed... oddly joyful in a sinister way, said, "I wanna see."

I shrugged half-heartedly, slipping my socks on.

"Eh, sure, why not?"

I shit you not, the girl squealed right in my ear, opened up her side of the dresser, and sprinted over to her bed to get dressed for the day. All in the span of what felt like a second.

"Ooohhh, I'm so glad we're friends now!"

I was taken aback as I stared at her, the abruptness of it all irritated me.

"Hey, hold on, no we aren't! Your buddies still attacked me yesterday and you were completely fine with filming it! I'm not letting that crap go!" I said, shaking my head at the audacity to try and act so casually given what happened.

Seriously, did this chick have the memory of a goldfish?

Trisha was in the middle of tugging her undershirt on as she looked at me with a sad "deer in the headlights" look. She did this odd mix of a groan and a whine as she did this overdramatic move of faceplanting on her bed.

She looked back up at me and clasped her hands together pleadingly.

"Can I please just make it up to you then? I can't have my roommate mad at me for the entire school year! It'd be so annoying!" Trisha replied, her night shirt getting waved around in the air as she gestured her arms wildly. "Please! I don't even have footage of you getting beat up! It was mainly footage of you beating them up!"

I tried to just blow her off, but... Trisha did have a point. Besides Trent and obviously Russell, I don't think any of those other bozos actually ended up getting a hit on me. Then again, none of them seemed to be particularly good at fighting anyway. In fact, they all seemed a bit caught off guard when I'd decided to fight back.

Hell, just from the bullshit i've had to deal with at my last 7 schools, I probably had more experience actually tussling with people than them, and that didn't even include those boxing classes my third step-father let me tag along to and watch about 3 years ago.

I sighed, rolling my eyes and grabbing my purse.

"Okay... Fine," I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder as I slipped my shoes on. "You can make it up to me... just don't be weird about it..."

I left the room, hearing Trisha yell out something that sounded like a hurried, "Don'tworryIwon'tbeweir-!" as the door shut behind me.

'Man, I think I might've been a bit too lax on her...' The thought popped in my head as I made my way down the double set of stairs, right past a red head and another girl with glasses gossiping about something I didn't care too much to listen into.

As I passed them, I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched, and I turned back to look at the two. They were still talking, though they were turned away when I definitely remembered them facing my direction as I walked past. Huh, weird. Had they been talking about me?

I wouldn't be surprised if they were, what with what went down yesterday. The new girl beating up an entire group of boys and only getting a bruise and a bloody nose out of it was definitely something that would get gossiped about for a while, maybe about a week. On one hand, it'd probably mean people would leave me alone, at least for a bit... but on the other?

Well, I didn't actually know, but it couldn't have been good for me. That was usually how things went, I'd always get the worst of it.

It was why I started to believe in the concept of past lives, as well as karma. I was probably a real ass in a previous life, and I was only now getting all the negative karma from it.

Mrs. Peabody stood by the front door with a piece of paper, clearly about to go on some spheel about something I didn't too much care about. I ignored whatever she was telling me as I grabbed the paper and stepped through the double doors of the building to the outside... only to be met with a loud, burly voice yelling in my direction.

"HI JENNY!"

The voice was bellowed out by Eunice, a girl I'd helped out yesterday during Gary's tour.

Some doofus with an overly long name that I couldn't be bothered to remember had stolen some chocolates from her that her folks gave her as a gift, so I offered to get them back free-of-charge.

It wasn't difficult, hell, I probably could've done it blind folded. I tracked the thief to the first floor boy's bathroom by following some tossed chocolate wrappers, gave him a swift punch to the gut, and swiped the box of chocolates back as the guy was left heaving on the floor. I guess there were worst places to blow chunks, even though his puke never actually ended up in the toilet bowl.

My "reward" for that simple errand was a hug. Not so bad, maybe just a bit awkward right? Wrong, my back still hurt like hell. I think she might've cracked something in my spine while doing that crap. If I were her, I'd consider a career as a chiropractor... Then again, she'd probably be terrible at it. That kind of stuff was supposed to make you feel good... and I definitely didn't...

I gave the heavy set girl a nonchalant wave, and she walked over to me.

Now... I had to give her this. She did have a nice smile, but man, that voice... I wonder if losing weight would make her sound normal...

Then again, probably not. There was a girl at my 5th school who sounded similar to Gilbert Gottfried without any real effort, that was just her natural voice, and that girl had been as thin as a twig. Some girls really did just get the short end of the stick.

The first one being that they were even born a girl in the first place. Seriously, why did being a girl have to suck so much? Not only do we have to deal with periods, but nobody takes us seriously at all!

Man, sometimes I wish I was a dude, not because I was "confused" about my gender or some crap like that, then people would actually respect me for once. Then they'd take me seriously when I knocked their teeth out.

"There's my main squeeze! How's it going, Jenny?" Eunice said cheerfully, clasping her chubby hands together in front of her chest.

We stood to the side of the archway leading into the large space around the building of the Girl's Dorm, and I noticed some of the younger, middle school girls passing by and giggling about something followed by them not-so-subtly glancing in my direction. Word really was getting around about yesterday, huh? But then, why were they laughing? Wouldn't they be in awe of me instead?

I shrugged, blowing a bit of air as I huffed and looked Eunice's way.

"It's Bullworth, so I guess it could be a lot worse."

Eunice nodded, giving a small smile.

"Yeah... I guess it could be worse, but... y'know, it could always get better too!"

"Uh huh..." I replied, leaning against a nearby stonework wall. I propped my foot up on the wall as I relaxed and just let her talk... up until she snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Yeah?"

Eunice put her hands on her hips, looking a bit frustrated. Shoot, how long had I zoned out?

"I said, do you want to go to class together? It'd be cool if we had the same one for first period, y'know, Chemistry? Mrs. Peabody should've given you your schedule by now."

My gaze shifted to the paper in my hand and, sure enough, it was my class schedule. Conveniently, Chemistry was the first class I had today.

"Yeah, I got Chemistry too. I guess walking together doesn't sound like a bad idea," I said, stuffing my schedule inside my purse, not caring if it ended up a little crumbled.

It's not like I had anything better to do, besides, if those Bullies bothered me again, Eunice could've been some nice backup to have for dealing with them. Or a good meatshield. Either way, there really was no downside to it. For me at least.

Eunice seemed pretty happy about walking together.

"Great! Let's go, I think the bell is about to ring!" Without hesitation, Eunice grabbed me by the hand and, with a ridiculous amount of strength, pulled me with her to Chemistry. Now, usually this would've put somebody in a bad standing with me, but with how strong she turned out to be, I was kinda reluctant on bitching at her about it.

Chemistry class wasn't anything out of the ordinary... Aside from the teacher being blazed out of his mind. Dr. Wattz was clearly high on his own supply, but I didn't know what he was even on. It could've been anything. There were a hell of a lot of chemicals in the room to choose from. I had to wonder if some of them were even allowed to be used around and by a bunch of inexperienced teenagers, especially the kind that attended Bullworth Academy.

You'd think a stoner teacher would be pretty nice, but Dr. Wattz was the opposite. I screwed up by pouring the wrong chemical into my beaker and causing it to blow up in a puff of grey smoke, so the old guy threw a hotplate at me. It didn't end up actually hitting me thanks to a personal lifetimes worth of having to avoid flying objects. Instead, it flew towards that big doofus Russell and shattered to bits the second it connected to his skull. Oddly, and a little bit horrifyingly, Russell didn't give much of a reaction to the heavy metal piece of machinery cracking against his head. Seriously, was that guy even human?

So yeah, Chemistry was kind of weird now that I think about it. If there was any proof that Crabblesnitch was in some pretty heavy denial about the actual state of the school he was running, then that teacher was a damn good example. I mean seriously, what's next? An alcoholic teacher barely hiding the fact that he's chugging a 40 out of a paper bag as he's clicking through a presentation shown on a projector?

...Ok, maybe that was a bit too outlandish.

The bell rang for lunch, and as I left the classroom with Eunice, she and I split up. She wanted us to eat together, but I wasn't really interested.

She tried her hardest to get me to go with her, but I told her I wasn't that hungry. That wasn't really true, but I heard there was gonna be chicken for lunch today, and judging by the state of the food I'd choked down yesterday, I wasn't keen on getting salmonella and God knows what else from eating potentially undercooked chicken.

I headed outside, beelining towards the vending machine. If there was anything still keeping me on this bitch of an Earth, it would probably be Beam cola. Nectar of the Gods.

I shoved a dollar bill into the money slot and pressed the first button, and a can of Beam cola dropped down the machine. The sight of that chilled blue can was like looking down at a clear pond after trekking through a barren desert for miles.

Well, ok, maybe not that great of a sight, but it was still nice to be able to drink one of these again. I hadn't had one in weeks, not since mom had refused to keep buying them since she thought they were the cause of me being overweight. Which... well, she probably wasn't wrong, but it's not like it wasn't her fault since she introduced me to these things in the first place.

Back when I was barely a toddler and being forced by mom into participating in those glitzy beauty pageants, she would pour about half a can of Beam Cola into my sippy cup for me to drink in the morning so I wouldn't act cranky or fall asleep. It'd do the trick, probably since an entire can of Beam cola had about 40% of the daily recommended caffeine. I had a lot of memories that were just of me sitting in front of a mirror and chugging it while mom got me prepared to go on stage.

Yeah... those were the days, when it was mostly mom and me after my grandparents passed.

I felt a frown form on my face as I pulled the tab on the can, and that familiar hiss of the pressure releasing stuck solidly in my head. Whenever I heard it, I didn't know whether to consider it a pleasant noise or a bad one. On one hand, I honestly hated having to do those stupid pageants, hated having all that crappy makeup plastered on my face and those dumb outfits I'd be forced into... But on the other hand?

At least back then, mom actually seemed happy spending time with me. Nowadays she'd rather be with her rich boyfriends or the occasional millionaire she managed to sucker into marriage way more than me.

A little, niggling thought that seemed to shrink by the day tried to convince me that mom was doing it for my benefit, that she was just trying to find the right guy that could take care of the both of us financially.

After all, if it had really been about the money, surely mom wouldn't have told me to pack up and leave with her after she actually saw the last man she'd conned cornering me in the kitchen to do god knows what? The guy ran a goddamn fast food franchise. He was loaded.

She had to care a little. I needed her to.

I'm not sure how I could take it if it turned out she didn't.

The can met my lips and I drank. Leaning against the vending machine, I was thankful there wasn't anyone around at the moment. I could already start to feel myself breaking a bit emotionally, and I was struggling just to keep all the cracked pieces together to put everything back to normal. It was like I was trapped in a constantly shaking room, trying desperately to fix this broken vase that just kept getting cracking into smaller and smaller pieces from all the force.

When I got to being reminded about what my last "step-dad" tried to do to me, it always screwed up my entire day. I was so used to being able to kick the ass of anybody that was dumb enough to cross me that the one time I couldn't fight back...

"Ah Hopkins, I've been meaning to talk to you about what happened yesterday."

I jumped a little and spilled some cola on the ground, turning to see Dr. Crabblesnitch walk out of the front door of the school building. He seemed to glance disapprovingly at the soda in my hand, though I wasn't sure whether it was because he thought I shouldn't be drinking it for whatever reason or because I'd spilled it.

'Wouldn't be surprised if it was the first one.'

"Something wrong sir?" I asked, holding the cola can by the top and casually letting it dangle at my thigh.

"Well no, not really. I wanted to speak to you personally about an incident with some of the male students that you were involved in yesterday, among other things..."

'Alright, here we go..'

"Yes sir? What about it? Am I in trouble?" I said in a slightly disinterested tone.

I already got this guy's gist the day I'd met him. He was just another old prick too stuck in the old days to even see what was going on with the younger generation.

"No, actually. I'm just curious as to why you went near the Boy's Dorm. You weren't trying to go in there, were you?" Dr. Crabblesnitch replied, his tone dripping with suspicion. It's like he was eager to get me in trouble for something.

Been there, done that, and got expelled from my third school because of it.

"I got my directions messed up, that's it. Shouldn't you be getting onto the guys who did this to me?" I pointed out the bruising on both my right cheek from Trent and the punch from Russell that had my nose swollen and inflamed. "It was Trent and Russell by the way. I don't know if Dr. Lamb told you, but it was them."

Crabblesnitch eyed my face, though I got a feeling of disinterest from him.

"She did inform me of those two in particular, and they've been given suitable enough punishments, however..." He went on, and the next thing he said made me want to wring his neck. "I don't entirely believe that you didn't purposefully walk to the Boy's Dorm because you weren't familiar with the layout, as Mr. Northwick informed me that you headbutted him the second you walked onto the school grounds. Is this true? I wouldn't put it past you looking for a fight... given your record..."

I got caught up trying to respond, the audacity of his statement leaving me absolutely perplexed.

"Yeah I did! Because he tried to take money from me!" This guy was seriously trying to tell me I was looking for a fight! It was my first day! The only thing I'd been looking for was the Girl's dorm! "Look, I know my record makes me sound like a real tool, but this place is full of bullies and maniacs!"

Dr. Crabblesnitch, again, seemed to wave off my criticisms.

"Oh nonsense. I'm sure he was just showing a bit of school spirit! Hijinks. I'm sure he was simply just trying to mess with you. Boys will be boys after all. It's perfectly understandable that you didn't quite get it, being a girl and all."

'UUUUGGGGHHHH. Thisplacewillbethedeathofme.'

I felt as though my brain was starting to leak out of my skull after hearing that, I nearly didn't catch the rest of his sentence.

He continued on as I took another sip of soda, the overly sweet liquid bringing me some respite from the bullshit spewing out of his mouth.

"Now, I want you to stop with this nonsense. It's unbecoming of a young lady to be so violent. I want you to behave yourself. Now, I've had a talk with Dr. Lamb, and we've both decided it would be beneficial if you visited her for counseling, starting tomorrow. Understood?"

'Ok. Good. Great. Just treat me like a nutcase I guess. As if i'm the problem here.'

Of course, I couldn't actually tell him that. I'd rather not get the world record for the quickest school expulsion in American history.

...Even if it was kinda tempting...

"Understood, sir. Can I go now?"

I wanted to just curl up in bed and yell into my pillow.

Crabblesnitch gave me a curt nod and straightened out his neck tie. As I waited for his response, I got the odd feeling that we weren't alone, as if somebody else was just around the corner. Odd.

"Good, be on your way then."

The Headmaster walked right back into the main building, and after the door shut behind him, I stuck my middle finger in his direction for a second. It was stupid, but it did make me feel a little better. If only I could do it to his face.

Alas, it simply couldn't be.

"Pfft, 'Good, be on your way' yeah, i'll be on my way..." I muttered to myself, mocking Crabblesnitch's tone, "I'll be on my way to putting my foot up your stupid a-"

"Hey!"

I turned my head to see Slingshot kid standing in front of the small set of stairs leading up to the main school building entrance. His nose had a gauze patch on it, with another one slapped on his forehead, underneath it was a large reddish purple bruise. I tried to remember exactly what I'd done to cause that, until I thought about when i'd pushed Tom into him. Must've landed on his face pretty hard when he fell apparently.

Gary gave me his name yesterday, during the tour. It was Davis White, I think?

Along with his name, I knew at least two things about him from what Gary had told me.

The first was that he was in his senior despite looking a bit on the younger side, he was even pretty short to boot, he couldn't have been taller than 5'4. In fact, he was supposed to graduate last year, but he was so deep into his bullying obsession that he'd purposefully gotten himself held back. Gary doubted Davis even wanted to graduate at all, which was bizarre to me. Being able to bully freshman couldn't have been worth spending yet another year in the hellscape that was an American high school.

The second was that he was basically the "brains" of pretty much every plan the Bullies had. Whenever they'd pull something, it was usually his idea. Another kid, Troy, was supposed to be the second-in-command since Russell liked him the most. But more often than not, when Russell wasn't around, it was either Davis or Trent leading, not him. An easy way to tell whether the idea came from Trent or Davis was fairly easy. For one, Davis wasn't nearly as straightforward with his schemes compared to Trent.

He had his clearly homemade wooden slingshot on hand, giving it a firm grip as he glared at me. Obviously, he was pretty mad at me, but at the same time, there was a sort of confidence to it, like he had something planned out.

"Oh, great. You again. Look, I don't-" I didn't get to finish my sentence before he started talking, his tone accusatory and aggressive.

"I saw you talking to Crabblesnitch. Trent and Russell already got detention because of you, you tryin' to get the rest of us in trouble?" Despite his aggression, he seemed to avoid getting any closer to me. That showed, to me at least, that he had some kind of common sense.

"What?" I said, turning toward Davis. "Shut up. They got what they deserved. Maybe take the hint and-"

He again didn't even let me finish. I saw him lift up the wooden slingshot in his hand, grabbing the rubber band with his other hand.

"Screw you new kid, this is what we do to snitches around here!" Davis lifted up the slingshot and aimed it at me, a pebble stuffed in the middle of the rubble band as he pulled it back.

"You better not-AAow!"

He let the band go, and the pebble struck me in the head. I dropped my Beam cola, which spilled on the ground at my feet.

Son of a bitch, I wasn't done drinking that!

As I got myself together, Davis had the biggest shit eating grin on his face as he let out a snide chuckle.

I grunted angrily, kicking the can away as my shoes were slightly saturated with soda.

"You-!" I snapped, and in response, Davis turned and began to book it to the right of the main school building, yelling back:

"Yeah! Come and get me fatso!"

Well shit! I might as well!

"Get back here!" I yelled back at him, sliding down the stairs railing as he ran ahead.

Was this guy in track? I'd barely turned the corner as he was already past the parking lot. At first, I'd figured that's where he'd been headed, as I recalled Gary mentioning that the Bullies tended to hang out there. They seemed the type to gang up on one person anyway. Instead, I followed him as he turned right again, headed to the path that led to where the Gym, Harrington house, and Shop class were.

Davis pushed past a kid in his way who I realized was actually Pete, who was sent toppling down the small set of stairs along with the stack of books and papers he'd been carrying. Surprisingly, Pete didn't seem much affected by the fall as he yelled out to me from the ground:

"I saw him! He went towards Shop class! To the right of the fountain!"

"I saw. Thanks anyway!" I shouted back at him as I ran past.

Pete could pick himself up. He didn't seem that hurt.

I took another turn and spotted as Davis ran through the gate that led into the Shop area. Just before it shut behind him, Wade ran through and confronted me.

"I'VE GOT HER!"

We collided with each other and ended up in a grapple, grabbing at each other's arms to stop the other from hitting them. As hard as he tried, he couldn't wrangle his arms away from me, but neither could I. The most I could do was try to knee at his gut, but my short legs either didn't connect or barely did so. My height was really biting me in the ass here.

"OHHHHH I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FORWARD TO THIS!" Wade tried kicking at me too, but I was able to back off a little and avoid it, but only barely. I was stuck on how to get the upper hand until I noticed the nearby trash can that we just so happened to be slowly making our way towards.

Hm... That'll work.

"Yeah... So was I..." I said as a wide grin spread across my face. The unhinged glee Wade had had on his own face turned into a worried confusion as we were right beside the trash can. Without hesitation, I tossed him into the can ass first.

"HEY! I-I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!" Wade cried as he tried to pull himself out of the metal trashcan. He didn't seem to be making much headway, though, in fact he seemed to be accidentally digging himself deeper in his attempt. Clearly, he wasn't used to being on the receiving hand of getting tossed into a garbage can.

"Better luck next time!" I called back, heading towards the metal doors into the Shop class area. Thankfully, it hadn't been locked, but it took me an embarrassing amount of time to realise the doors were supposed to slide open to the side. As they did and I sprinted in, I spotted Davis behind a fence taunting me.

"You're too slow! Hahaha!"

He took off again when I ran into the fence, grabbing it and seething in frustration until I realized it wasn't enclosed. There was an opening to the right of me, and without hesitation, I ran for the turn and followed after him.

It was odd to see the shop not be surrounded by all those Greaser dorks. Yesterday, after the tour of the main school building, Gary showed me around the entire campus. Those guys were scattered around the entire place like they owned it. We didn't stick around the area long, since the Greasers clearly hadn't wanted us there... well, aside from the fat one whose name escaped me at the moment.

That guy gave me some serious bedroom eyes as I walked by, and when I pointed it out to Gary, he laughed and told me about how that Greaser in particular was into fat women.

After learning that, i've considered going easy on the Beam colas from now on.

I heard the loud sound of a garage door slamming down and looked towards the source. At the back of the shop building was some kind of smaller building, presumably another garage. I figured I'd have a hard time trying to get it open, but surprisingly, the shutter door slid upwards without much effort.

I quickly found out why.

A 2x4 wooden plank was swung at me, and I barely managed to dodge it with a clumsy roll that ended with me stumbling back into the nearby brick wall of Shop class.

Ethan, the kid obsessed with ninjas that i'd gut punched yesterday, was the guy who'd swung the board at me. As I got up with my back flat on the wall, Ethan swung the board around in the air like he was swinging a sword, complete with making swishing sounds with his mouth. How the hell was this guy a bully? He's acts like a complete dork!

"Man- Ethan! Knock it off with that crap and just hit her with it!" Tom said from a back corner of the room. He seemed to be distancing himself as far as possible from me and Ethan, I'm assuming he was reluctant to get near me due to what happened the last time he did. Good, let him be afraid. If a lot of the jerks around here were smarter, they'd do the same.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Ethan turned his head and yelled back, stupidly holding the board right in front of me within grabbing distance. I grabbed for it, yanking the plank of wood out of his hand. As he whipped his head back to face me, I swung the board and hit him in the stomach. He doubled over, and I hit him with it again, this time in the back with enough force to break the board in half.

Ethan crumpled to the ground, and I threw the piece of wood I'd been holding to the back of me.

I looked up at Tom, and whatever expression I'd had on my face must've been threatening because instead of trying to fight back, he had decided to shove himself into the corner of the room.

I took a few steps closer, and without missing a beat, Tom grabbed a nearby wooden ruler and held it out in front of him defensively.

"S-stay away from me you crazy bitch!"

"You know, this really could've been avoided, but no. Maybe you should've thought a bit more before thinking it was a good idea to jump me with your buddies."

"It wasn't even my idea! It was all Davis!"

"Wow. I really don't care."

I ran up to brunet and smacked the ruler out of his hand, clocking him in the face. He fell onto a nearby wooden crate that shattered into a heap of wood. Barely had to break a sweat with that one. He laid flat on the concrete floor, moaning and whimpering.

I rolled my eyes and walked over to the other garage door that Davis had gone through, opening it as easily as the last one.

I stepped into the open area, getting confronted by Troy, the ginger kid who had absolutely no inside voice to speak of. Possibly the most absurd thing anyone has ever said to me came out of his mouth, and I was split between laughing or just smacking the shit out of him. Maybe both.

"I'M GONNA HIT YOU HARDER IN THE OVARIES THAN YOU HIT ME IN THE BALLS!"

He charged toward me, and without hesitation, I took the lid off of a nearby metal trashcan and held it out in front of me.

As he neared, I whacked the lid across Troy's face, and he anticlimactically fell to the ground with a loud thump.

That was easy.

I went further along and finally found Davis standing on top of a structure made up of what looked like garbage. He seemed far less confident than he had after launching that pebble at me.

He kicked away the ladder he'd used to climb up the structure, which left me unable to get up to him on foot without risking something going wrong. That structure didn't exactly look all that stable, and trying to grab on it probably would've caused the whole thing to fall over.

"You stay away from me!" Davis said, his tone betraying how scared he actually was.

I threw the trash can at him like a frisbee, and it hit him in the arm. He stumbled a bit but managed to balance himself, the structure creaking and shifting as it was on the verge collapsing on itself.

"Get away, you psycho!" Davis yelled, voice cracking mid-sentence. His hand grabbed onto the wall behind him for balance. I scooped a nearby brick off the ground and prepared to throw it at him.

"What's wrong? Can't take what you dish out?! Huh?!" I didn't give two shits if he was scared of me. Let him be. Maybe he and his buddies'll learn to finally not fuck with me after this. I didn't care how much I would end up hurting these jerks. If they insisted on bullying and harassing me, then they were pretty much asking for anything that happens to them.

I wound up my arm and threw the brick, which hit him in the jaw. That was enough. Davis stumbled back, and the structure couldn't take anymore of it. It collapsed in on itself as some of the trash that kept everything together tumbled out in multiple directions. I saw Davis jumping away from the collapsing structure with a yelp as the entire thing fell apart, falling on his face to the asphalt below.

As everything settled, Davis laid flat on the ground, letting out a quiet groan as he rolled onto his back. I walked over to him, and as I looked him over, I noticed the slingshot he'd shot me with in his front left pants pocket. Without hesitating, I grabbed it. Davis noticed this, though didn't seem to bother with getting up. I didn't doubt he was actually hurt. Hell, I'd probably broken something in his face just from tossing that brick at him. Given that entire ordeal he and his buddies just put me through, I personally couldn't muster up the care to feel bad about it.

Clutching at his face with one hand, Davis tried grabbing for the slingshot with the other, giving a weak protest to go along with it.

"H-hey!" Davis said with a pained groan, "That's mine y-you jerk!"

It clearly hurt for him to talk, and the part of his jaw I'd hit was starting to redden and swell up.

So I kicked Davis in that same area and swiped the slingshot from his hands. He began yelling and soon crying as he grabbed at his face.

I simply turned and walked out of the Shop area, passing by the other boys on my way there.

'I'm sure this'll come up during my talk with Dr. Lamb tomorrow...' I thought as I neared the fountain.

I was just about to sit down on the base of the fountain when I felt a pair of hands on me.

With a yelp, I was pulled back, feeling my back hit what felt like a guy's chest. His breath hit my ear, and that was enough to freak me out. In my panic, I kicked back at whoever it was and connected with what felt like his kneecap.

"Yow! Hey! What's wrong with you?!" From the voice I realized it was Gary of all people, and as I backed away and turned around, I saw him clutching his left leg. I wanted to slug him in the jaw, but since my energy was spent from earlier, I yelled at him instead.

"W-what's wrong with me?! What's wrong with you?! Do you just grab girls like that all the time?!" I yelled back. What even was his thought process? Did he think I'd just be ok with it or something because I didn't hate him?

I was really starting to regret letting this guy off easy calling me a cunt. I couldn't even remember why I'd let him off the hook in the first place.

Gary winced a bit as he rubbed at his leg, clearly still a bit miffed. He straightened himself out and glared at me.

"Geeze Jen, I was just trying to scare you a little, you know, to be funny. I didn't think you'd freak out about so much," Gary put his hands up in a lax but defensive way. He got right next to me and casually put a hand on my shoulder. "Anyway, what's up? You're a bit jumpy today. Did something happen recently?"

I moved my shoulder to get his hand off of me, and before he could respond, I replied to his previous question.

"Those douchebags jumped me again because Trent and Russell got in trouble for what happened yesterday, Davis shot a pebble at my face and lured me into the Shop area where the rest of them were waiting to gang up on me," I showed Gary the slingshot briefly before stuffing it into my purse, "I also took Davis' slingshot. Mostly because I could."

"Aw, you beat them up again? And I didn't get to see it? You know, that's really inconsiderate of you Jane, you should've told me so I could've watched. I probably hate those morons the most out of every neanderthal in this place."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, ok, Gary. I'll be sure to let you know beforehand if I get jumped again. I'll even set out a nice chair for you to sit in too. Would you like that princess?"

"Yeah, that sounds nic- Wait, what did you just call me?"

"Huff huff JENNY!"

Trisha came running from the single back door of the main school building, barely avoiding bumping into me and Gary. She bent over to catch her breath for a second. Her hair was messier than it usually was, presumably from her sprinting.

She looked up at me with her makeup smudged face and spoke at a mile a minute... which, as a claim, only made any sense if you were around to hear her while she was talking.

"Jenny!Theguysaregonna-!" Trisha went quiet as soon as she spotted Gary, who, as he had laid eyes on her, sneered in disgust.

"Ugh, what is she doing here? Hey, short bus, don't you have something better to do other than polluting my air? Like whoring yourself out to those Preppies to buy all those dumb anime figurines you have!" Gary said, practically shouting out the last part of his sentence for anyone nearby to hear... At least they would have if Trisha hadn't starting screaming after Gary uttered the word, "whoring".

I covered my ears and yelled:

"Trisha! Gary! CUT IT OUT! GEEZE!"

Trisha stopped with the screaming, but Gary was more than happy to continue talking.

"Why do I have to quit talking? I didn't do anything, I just asked a question, come oooonnnnn Jenny," Gary visibly pouted, as if he thought he could guilt trip me or something. I wasn't having any of it. Instead, I turned back to Trisha.

"Lemme guess, you were gonna warn me about your buddies jumping me near Shop class, am I right?" I folded my arms, tilting my head quizzically at her.

She seemed amazed by the fact that I was already aware.

"Uh... Yeah? How'd you know?"

"Because I literally just beat them all up. Again. Look."

I turned and pointed in the direction of Shop Class, and the first thing I noticed was Wade still being stuck in the trash can. He'd seemingly given up on trying to get out of it, pitifully looking down and probably waiting for one of his friends to pull him out. But instead of it being one of his friends, it would end up being Trisha.

I turned back to her.

"The rest of the boys are inside the Shop area, so have fun dragging them all out of there I guess..." Suddenly, a realization came to me, "Trisha... How come you only just now tried to warn me about what the Bullies were planning? Seems like a weird coincidence that you got here right after it all went down..."

Trisha suddenly appeared a bit nervous, but before she could speak, Gary decided to butt in again.

"Yeah... What is it, Trisha? Upset that my good pal Jenny here caught onto your act? C'mon, answer you whore!" He prodded Trisha in the shoulder, which only seemed to make her even more nervous than she already was. It was also clear that Gary's slut shaming was also getting to her, and it drew a line with me that I knew I had to put a stop to.

"Gary, knock it off, seriously."

Gary groaned and turned away.

"Finnneeee..." He turned his head briefly to talk over his shoulder, "Trisha should explain herself though. I'm telling you Jen, she might be hiding something."

"I do have an explanation actually Gary! So shut your gap-toothed, wannabe know-it-all ass up!"

I was at my limit. Without an ounce of hesitation, I grabbed the two of them and knocked their heads together.

"Yow! What was that for?"

"Ow, Jenny, stop! My old therapist told me I have enough brain damage!"

"Just. Talk. Trisha! And shut up, Gary!"

Gary, for once, seemed to be able to stay quiet as Trisha began explaining herself.

"Ok, so I got in trouble for drawing during Algebra 3 class, so I got sent to lunch detention where Russell and my brother Trent were because of that whole thing from yesterday. Well... the teacher watching over us, Mr. Burton stepped out for a little bit, so we all started talking and stuff. I mentioned to Trent about how you ended up as my roommate, and he told me about how Davis planned to lure and jump you at the area around Shop class during lunch with the rest of the guys. I tried to sneak out to warn you, but Mr. Burton came back, and he wouldn't let me leave even though I'd already finished my lunch. But then Russell got mad about something, and so got Burton was distracted by that. So here I am!"

Huh, yeah I guess that made sense. So Trent is her brother then? I thought those two looked a bit similar. I guess that explains why she even hung out with those bozos.

"You really expect us to believe that? Don't be so gullible Jen, she's clearly trying to cover her ass."

"Gary!"

"What?"

"I'm telling the truth! Seriously!"

"I know! Ugh, just... just go pick up your buddies off the pavement and leave!" I pointed towards the Shop area, then looked over to Gary, "We need to talk..."

Trisha seemed more than happy to leave, even giving Gary a quick glare as she jogged away towards Wade. I gave Gary a glare of my own, but just like with Trisha's, it didn't seem to bother him much.

"Gary, what the hell was that?"

"Whatever do you mean, Jane? I'm just looking out for you. You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?" he tilted his head, his face looking almost like a whipped dog. It didn't make him look all that sympathetic, though. I actually wanted to slug him in the face even more than I previously did.

I shook my head, still looking up at him angrily.

"Gary, she's my roommate. I can't just start beef with the girl i'm sharing a room with," I responded, trying to relax a bit. Gary was making that a bit hard though, what with him making probably the most punchable face possible at the moment. He was really bad at trying to look innocent.

He let out a defeated "tsk" and folded his arms.

"You really got stuck with her as a roommate? You have my pity, Jane, seriously... But fine, I won't agitate her, in fact... she could probably be a bit useful to us later... As long as you can stomach being nice to that spastic attention whore..."

That last bit of his sentence before the insult gave me a bit of pause. Useful? What for?

"Useful?" I asked, "For what? You make it sound like you're planning something big. Mind tellin' me about it?"

A knowing smile stretched across his face. I'd been a bit preoccupied with... uh, "admiring" it that him touching me on the shoulder as he guided me down the steps and towards the direction of the parking lot hadn't registered at all.

"Yes, useful. I can't say much since i'm still working out the details, but there's no need to worry your little head about all that... Now, c'mon, how's about we work on your aim with that slingshot you've got there? I know just the perfect place to practice..."

[mikelwave]

1, 2, 5, 10, 11, 12, 13, 16, 19, 21, 23, 25, 28 >:3

1. what song makes you feel better?

Depends on what mood I'm in, but generally a lot of 80s disco songs help me feel better. When I feel lonely I listen to a lot pf Phyrnna stuff, especially slower ones like this and this! I was always weird with music so I never know how to answer this one concretely lol

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

A lot of early Pixar films fit this category, but if I had to name one it'd be Wall-E.

5. who do you feel most you around?

Probably my sister, especially in the last 10 or so years I feel like she's been the only person I could really be truly open with and not worry that whatever I say would get used against me in some way :/

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

I'm really looking forward to World of Goo 2, I haven't been this hyped for a game since the Ace Attorney Chronicles! In general I'm excited to finally be working on a story I had in my mind for almost 10 years as well!

11. what’s your ideal date?

AVGN marathon I'd be really happy to be able to take someone to a place they previously told me they always wanted to go to, but keep it a surprise until we got there. If not that, then just a quiet time enjoying each other's company and not stressing out about daily life.

12. how are you?

I'm actually a lot better! I feel like I really needed to break the cycle I've been in for the last 7-ish years, I feel more in control of my life than I've been in a long time \o/

13. what’s your comfort food?

🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

Your septum ring looks very handsome today :3

19. most important thing in your life?

This sounds corny as hell but it definitely would be the friends I've made in my late teen to adolescent years, next to that it'd prob be my art!

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

Don't force yourself to fit into groups that didn't care about accepting you in the first place. It's better to be alone than be surrounded by people who'd drop you as soon as you stopped fitting their strict agenda.

23. favorite piece of clothing?

I got this hoodie last fall and it's still my favorite one to wear!

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

drawing of an oc of mine or just a character I like is the best gift you could possibly give me, no need to spend money n shit

28. hugs or hand-holding?

def hugs!

ask game