#i forgot it could feel like this. im so glad it still can

[skenpiel]

IM SO HAPPY TO BE BETTER!!!!!!! i had a full meal for the first time in days with faucking. fries and hot dogs and mash potato. i literally feel like i could weep with joy rn

[thestarmaker]

Edgerunners definitely is a male fantasy thing but it does make a point that trying to live your life like youre some special superman will eventually drive everyone you love away or destroy you from the inside out, but most likely both

Oh I'm sure it does make some valid points on that, and that's cool. I'm glad it does have real substance to it! And I did get that vibe from it, from what I've seen which is great.

Unfortunately the women are part of it in a way that makes me too uncomfortable to keep watching. Like the rest of it would be tolerable if the three women in it didn't reek of "was written and designed by a man to be sexual"

[81folklore]

older - CL16

pairings: charles leclerc x male!singer!reader (fc: luke hemmings)

summary: singer yn ln releases a love song with his boyfriend, and the public are not prepared for who it is about

authors note: this has been on my mind for SO LONG. i honestly dont like how many fics ive been doing on the same people (charles, lando etc) but whenever i go to start a new one on my list for someone else i think of something that i have to do😭 also in this reader is not a part of 5sos but close friends with the 3, wfttwtaf is readers album and older is exclusivly the readers song

authors note 2: i wanted to quickly clarify i am NOT speculating that charles or luke are gay/queer and this is not my intentions. luke obviously sings older and i find it easier to visualise it this way, while the reader in this is male, this could also be read as gn!reader. this is FICTION please do not tkae this as me speculating anything

authors note 3: i didnt really know what i was doing with this so its kind of all over the place and very rushed :/ but then again when arent my smau all over the place?? also can you tell i hate writing comments by the way i just dont😭

masterlist

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, ashtonirwin and 818,937 others

we started this song together back in 2020 and picked it back up at the end of 2022

'Older' was originally a voice memo of a 50’s-style love song that we wrote together, then forgot about. when thinking of concepts for my debut album i stumbled across the memo and fell in love with it all over again, but i put it aside yet again as to me, it deserved more than the album

the song has changed a lot from the original voice memo, but the meaning has stayed the same throughout. despite all the beauty, the ups and downs of a long-term relationship over many years, there’s inevitably going to be the worst moment of your love because one of you is going to lose each other

capturing those feelings in a song was tricky but ultimately we wrote from the heart and i think it shows in the song itself

this has always been a song between us, so having him play on this song was very importnt to me and im glad he said yes

older is now yours

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yourusername

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im very pleased to announce a very special one off show at the Royal Albert Hall in London this November 18th. I will be playing a bunch of tracks from my debut album and may be joined to play some others aswell! Tickets on sale this monday at 10 am BST. Lots of love always, yn x

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yourusername

liked by 5sos, charles_leclerc and 2,719,936 others

thank you for an incredible night at the royal albert hall

looking back at the best night of my life, i need to thank each and every one of you who allowed this dream to come true, i will never be able to thank you guys enough

performing in my dream venue, with my favorite people in the world was something i never thought was possible and yet here i am, writing this still on my high from last night

thank you to my friends; michael, ashton and calum who took the time to come to london and perform their songs with me, thank you for always loving me and agreeing to my crazy ideas

to my team and everyone who worked to make this night as special as it could be, thank you. thank you for making my htoughts a reality and making this night as wonderful as possible

thank you to the staff who worked throughout the show to make sure everyone was safe, well and looked after. you truly do not get as much credit as you deserve and i apreciate the hard work you put in to keep everyone happy

thank you to those who joined me, i wish each and every one of you who wanted to could have been there. thank you for singing along and listening to me pour my heart and soul into my music

thank you for letting me do this x

view comments

user55: not the pcd hitting already☹️

user1: and im supposed to pretend i didnt see yn and 5sos perform os/co??

user89: CHARLES?? YN IS DATING CHARLES??

user91: AND HE CAME ON STAGE?? AND THEY PERFORMED OLDER??

user50: i cant believe i saw this all happen live

user47: THANK YOU TO WHOEVER WAS RUNING THE GRAINY LIVESTREAM I OWE YOU MY LIFE🧎🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

ashtonirwin: thank you for everything yn. youre a real life angel

user16: NO CHARLES MENTION??

user9: BESTIE HE HAS A WHOLE POST

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, michaelclifford and 3,619,273 others

after having time to process this show, I feel so overcome with gratefulness. my music means so much to me and seeing so many people resonate with it in a live space was so special for me.

charlie, my life would literally fall apart without you and this would have never happened without you giving me the confidence to do so, i hold so much love and admiration for you

thank you for joining me on such a special night and performing our song with me, thank you for sticking with me through it all and thank you for allowing me to share this part of my life with you

i sometimes wonder where i would be if i didnt find you, if i wasnt blessed with your love. i try to think about the times before you, before us, but both feel impossible to do after feeling your love

life with you is so special and i promise to always cherish and love you

merci de m'avoir laissé vieillir avec toi, merci de m'avoir laissé t'adorer, merci de m'avoir choisi (thank you for letting me get old with you, thank you for letting me adore you, thank you for choosing me)

yn x

tagged: charles_leclerc

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc: mon ange, je t'aimerai toujours (my angel, I will always love you)

charles_leclerc: je suis tellement privilégiée d'être celle que tu aimes🤍🤍 (I'm so privileged to be the one you love)

yourusername: vieillir avec toi ne semble pas si effrayant🖤🖤 (growing old with you doesn't seem so scary)

[sku11s1asher]

Hi omg first time requesting from someone, but like soulmate aus?!?? Can you pretty please (if you can) make one of like arataki itto and the reader (male obvs) where its the first words of your soulmate and ittos first words are like something completely stupid??? Thabk you if you can but its alright if you dont wanna!!

itto x gn/male reader (soulmate au)

notes: i love itto, sorry this took so long bae; i had a fic already but my friends said it sucked so here’s this. i actually need to get a beta reader..i finish fics but i look into them too much and delete it without an actual reason. beta readers hmu frfr ;3

⊹ you always knew your soulmate was the brightest crayon in the box, you got a reminder of it every time you looked at your wrist, ‘worm’ was there.

⊹ though you won’t lie, you were very curious on who they were..who wouldn’t be?

⊹ you lived in liyue, you looked everywhere trying to find your soulmate, but there wasn’t anyone that dumb. at least not that you knew of..

⊹ you complained to your friend, kazuha, about it a lot. eventually he had enough and decided to take you with him on his next trip to inazuma.

⊹ once you arrived in inazuma, you kinda maybe forgot about your soulmate and explored the city looking for interesting things instead of your soulmate.

⊹ you were walking around town talking to kazuha, “what compels someone to do something so stupid?” you asked, “well if you knew him, you'd know he's the definition of stupid,” he responded. all you could think about was how and why a grown man would battle against children, with beetles. “what’s his name again?” “arataki itto.”

⊹ once you heard the man’s name, it immediately reminded you that you needed to look for your soulmate. “kazuha, you’re distracting me from my mission!” “your mission?” “finding my soulmate..?”

meet

⊹it’s been around 3 days, and still no soulmate. you were walking around the city, sulking to yourself about how you’d be alone for life since your soulmate obviously died. you didn’t see the person in front of you since you were too busy thinking about how you’d be alone for life.

⊹ bump. “what the..” it felt like you walked into a brick wall, but before you could fall you felt arms wrap around your waist. “you good, buddy?” the brick wall had a voice?

⊹ you looked up and felt your heart stop, “oh my god.” you were looking at the finest man you’ve ever seen in your life. once you snapped out your gaze you quickly composed yourself.

⊹ “ah, yeah, my apologies.” you took a step back, getting out of his grip. when you apologized, he let out a big smile, “it’s no big deal, im glad you’re okay.” while he was talking, you couldn’t help but take a look at his chest.

⊹ it was like his pecs were basically asking for you to touch them, but you decided to be a good man and not touch this strangers chest.

⊹ “you make me feel funny, like we have a deep connection even though we just met.” his words caught you off guard, “what?” “you must be my soulmate!” he said after a moment.

⊹ you looked at him like he was stupid, “how did you come to that conclusion? you know what, i don’t even want to know. what’s your name?” you asked him with a sigh.

⊹ “arataki itto!” he exclaimed with a huge smie. you immediately busted out laughing. you didn’t expect this guy who looks like he could pick up a house by himself, to be the guy who fought children with beetles.

⊹ you immediately apologized when you saw him pout, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to laugh. i just didn’t expect you to be the guy who does the beetle fights.”

⊹ “let me see your wrist.” he asked but he grabbed your wrist before you could answer. after a few moments of closely looking, he hugged you, “i knew it, you’re my soulmate!!”

⊹ you could barely move your arms to hug him back, he was sucking all the air out of your body with the tight hug.

⊹ “cmon, i need to show my soulmate to the gang!” “gang..?”

extra 1:

⊹ “please, just one touch.” you whined while leaning onto ittos chest, your hands slowly going up his stomach.

⊹ “why are you so obsessed with my chest?” he asked with a laugh, but allowed you to touch them.

extra 2:

⊹ “are you really that proud with yourself for beating children?” you asked unimpressed when he bragged about winning matches.

⊹ “you don’t understand! that kid normally beats me! this is a huge accomplishment, y/n!”

[captainmera]

i never realised just how much tgb had changed how i thought about the characters (mostly vee) until yesterday when i was re-looking over my toh fan-art. You wrote them so well that i forgot that it wasnt all in the show. like how vee and gus weren't shown to being best friends, vee never got to be angry/shocked by hunter or just willow still holding a little grudge against amity. They are just cool details and im so clad they were added! ps your great

Thank you! Wow that's very flattering! I'm glad you are enjoying it!

I really like Vee, and the more I think about the gang's time in the human-realm, the more I sit back in my chair and think "Ah man, these arcs are really necessary and interesting though.."

Vee also holds a lot of plot, as a basilisk. We can speculate what the reason is that they were extinct, for example (grimwalkers were extinct too).

Wat I really enjoy about TOH's characters are how easily and smoothly they weave into each other's themes and arcs. Their personalities and histories makes them all perfect friends to both build them up and break them down. It's a chefs kiss.

Vee is no different! The set-up for her character was perfectly slotted in to what the other characters needed for their time in the human-realm. And the theme I think the human-realm was supposed to embody.

The demon-realm arc for Luz was a hero's journey, but because of the foil of the trope, and that the point was that: there is no hero/chosen one actually, and the rebels didn't make it in time like in the books, and just because it's a different realm it didn't mean Luz could escape - escapism is temporary.

Dana has said grief and hope are core elements of the story, and she chose to tell it through a foiled trope of being chosen/hero's journey, layered with a religious trauma lens.

To me, looking at Luz as the main character, means looking at her as a nerdy girl in need of escapism, wanting to find purpose, and avoiding her emotions about her dad's passing.

The return to human-realm would be, for Luz, a turning point where TOH turns from being about a hero's journey and a journey about the steps of grief and healing - at the end of it, she will find the light.

Vee, to me, is kind of like a new take on the guide character. She is not a guide, in the sense that she has all the answers, but rather all the truths.

She was right when she told Luz she had everything and still chose to run away. They're not the same. Vee is also a lot better than Luz at being normal and fitting in, something Luz has been playing off and avoiding facing. Luz sees herself as being different as a bad thing, she tried to run away to a place where "weird" was normal and that didn't work out. Now she's back home and feels that it's all her fault bad things happened, because she is herself. And the person she is is different. And different didn't mean special, just different. Of course she's depressed.

The same is true for all the other characters. Vee gets to reflect their truths too, simply by being crafted, narratively, into being the guide.

Hunter gets to face his actions as the GG, come to terms with the nuances of his bad actions, whatever reason he committed what he did. Find forgiveness not just from Vee but himself too. He gets to start over, just like her. She shows him it's possible.

Gus gets someone to share his dream with, his love and enthusiasm for the human realm. A place that Vee feels is more home than where she came from. Gus gets to grow as a person, both morally and intelligently. As does Vee, she gets somebody who shows her that she doesn't just have to be a refugee, she can have a purpose here. She can be an ambassador.

Willow was set up to have an arc where she mistook her newfound magical and physical strengths (she is working out a lot in canon after she changed track), for inner strengths. Willow is a sensitive girl, and a bit of a berserk (I mean she was willing to burn her own mind just to hurt Amity). Willow having to face Vee, who isn't physically stronger than her but is significantly further down the road of being internally strong, is something Willow can learn from. Perhaps even have conflict with! (but more so a conflict with herself than with Vee, really.)

With Amity, Vee has a simpler role. I think to Amity it's more so showing that it's possible to live in the human realm, and giving her hope that going back and forth is a future for everyone who wishes to do so. Creatively speaking, I think Amity and Vee more so to bounce off one another for the plot, rather than character growth or decline.

Camila, I think, is the most interesting. Because she has now spent approximately a year with Vee, half of it thinking she was Luz and having feelings about her daughter having changed so much, the line "I'm glad youre still creative" comes to mind. As well as the terror of losing Luz again. But also, because she has had her own unseen arc and development with Vee, and them having bonded into a foster family that we never got to see glimpses of, it goes without saying that Camila has already done the internal work to take on more kids if that's necessary. I think she saw these kids by her door and thought "yep. They're mine now too." Vee, I think, is interesting to toss into the family dynamic between Luz and Camila, who seemingly are misunderstanding one another significantly. Vee sees them both, and can be a voice of reason when it comes to it. Or if it would come to it.

ANYWAY MY RANTS ARE LONG. IM DONE. THANKS FOR READING.

[asurix]

'' Valentine's day''

Genre: NFSW/SMUT, Dazai x reader, dom!dazai, sub!reader,afab!

content warning: Oral sex,vag!nal sex, sadistic,whimpering,praising,degrading and swearing ( i think thats all lol)

Ok so... i made a new poll and dazai won....again- i mean hes hot but twice is foul i thought chuuya was going to win or fyodor... OR Tachihara??? but i guess my charming suicidal guy won...

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 DAZAI

Dazai was you're boyfriend, he wasn't all tho like typical boyfriends... he was way more different... A normal boyfriend would cuddle you and care for you, but Dazai? all he could do was fuck you're pussy until you're cunt remembered EVERY vein from dazai's cock, you weren't complaining, but come on? the least thing he could do was show a bit of romantical feelings... right?

You and Dazai were at home, you wanted to test out Dazai's feelings for you, lucky for you it was valentine's day, you approached Dazai looking a bit suspicous in his eyes, ''something wrong?'' he asked raising a eyebrow, his attention leaving his phone but instead to you,

'' do you know what day it is? Dazai?'' you asked curiously, ''14 februari, why?'' he answered you're question, you couldn't belivie this guy he really forgot valentine's day? what a jerk! you groaned walking away from him irritated, ''whats wrong bella? why so mad!'' he yelled from across the living room, the voice echoing to the kitchen, making you more irritated, ''just dont talk to me'' you rolled you're eyes, ''why not?'' you heard him exactly behinde you, wasn't he just in the living room what the hell?, you got startled by his sudden presence, ''n-nothing you just forgot a special day'' you're expression turning from irritated to sadness,

Dazai tilting his head, confused still not understanding what you were trying to say, ''huh?'' he said confused, ''are you serious its fucking valentine's day and you couldn't bother to remember a simpe day to appreciate you're lover?, n-no not even lover!? just you're booty call!'' you yelled at him, ''valentine's day? already-'' just by hearing that you got so ticked off you stormed out of the room angrily, you sat down on the bed, grabbing the pillow from you're side, then shoving it in you're face, groaning in it, such a pain! you thought to yourself, 6 hours has gone and you hadn't even realised you went to sleep, not until you checked the time to see its 8 pm, god i slept for 6 straight hours? you thought to yourself, before you could get out of bed you heard keys opening the front door,

he went out? you thought again to yourself, you walked over to the front door to greet Dazai completely forgetting what happened 6 hours ago, ''where did you go?'' you said curious, ''i went out to get you're valentines present's'' he said smiling before taking off his shoes and coat giving you a kiss on the forehead before setting the stuff he bought on the kitchen counter,

''valentines gift's?'' you asked confused, thats before you remembered everything that happened ''o-oh yeah...about that im not really mad anymore s-so you're fine i guess...'' you said scratching the back of you're head, ''well i wanted to get my girlfriend some stuff for valentines day because my bella donna deserve's the world'' he said smiling warmly, ''well im glad im you dont see me as you're booty call Dazai'' you said smiling back ''i never saw you as my booty call Y/N'' he said, his face turning serious, ''ive always seen you as my lover, my only one, my stress relivier and my everything'' he said turning his back to you, unpacking all the stuff he bought for you, ''i got you this lingerine donna, it would look really nice on you while you ride me'' he said grinning, you couldn't help but laugh, ''you're such a idiot

Dazai'' you said laughing, ''im serious, yesterday you didn't leave the house, and today you didn't leave the house either so am assuming...no i know you didn't get me anything for valentine's day'' he said his grin widening, ''but its okay, you can cover up a apology with just you bouncing on me today for valentine's day, thats all i want'' he said smiling, 'well you're not wrong i didn't get you anything for valentine's day, so i dont have a choice to ride you'' you said ironiclly,

-after you opened all the gifts with Dazai-

''There bella i got you all these stuff, now all i want as my gift is you're body'' he said grinning, before you could say anything, he picked you up bridal style taking you to the bedroom, he threw you on the bed, you sat up, Dazai standing infront of you while you're sitting on the bed, ''my, what do you have in plan?'' you asked him, ''i have a lot for you, say this is you're punishment for not getting me anything for valentine's day, i get to be rough how ever i want got it?'' he titled his head waiting for you're respons

'' do whatever you please, love'' you said smiling, he unbuckled his pants, his hard cock flinging out of his boxers, he lined up his cock to the entrance of you're mouth, ''open wide, donna~'' he said smiling wickedly, he pushed his tip inside you're mouth, making you gag a little bit, you started licking his tip, massaging his balls, Dazai couldn't help but moan, ''f-fuck... i might c-cum if you continue like this, and i dont want be done bella~ he said chuckling, he grabbed you're waist then threw you on the bed, he postioned his cock to the entrance of you're soaked cunt, he slammed inside you causing you to whimper, ''d-dazai...'' you choked out, ''n-not to deep please'' you whined out, ''i said i was going to be rough bella, just take it like that bitch you are, alright?'' he said before slamming inside you again hitting you're sweet spot mutliple times.''i know you like it there bella'' he laughed, ''s-shut up..'' you cried out, Dazai contiuned violating you're cunt hitting you're G-spot again and again this assault continued for minutes until Dazai finally couldn't handle you're pussy clenching around his cock, making his cock twitch inside you, he finally gave in and came. ''f-fuck...bella youre clenching my cock so h-hard...'' Dazai groaned, you couldn't respond due to the overstimulations getting the best of you, you pasted out without you, yourself knowing it, you woke up to hot tea on you're nightstand, and heart shaped chocolate and a bouqette of flowers with a note on it, ''ill be back donna for our dinner, just going to pick some groceries love you x- samu'' this idiot, you chuckled to yourself, you drank you're hot tea and ate you valentine's chocolate, before going back to sleep, waiting to see what Dazai has planned out for you.

[instant-delusions]

OH MY GOSH are you a rafayel lover too 😭 i swear, i love him so much! and im happy that l&ds comnunity is growing here that a new ff of raffy is posted everyday when i refresh the tags! im glad u seem enthusiastic to accept requests 😔 my raffy brainrot is so bad i need my fix!

can i request? we know rafayel has some sort of "abandonment issues" and we know where it stems from and how it manifests (where he says mc can do what they want as long as they come back to him or let him know what they're doing 😭) and imagine that mc GENUINELY forgets bc she's tired from all the work as a hunter, and when she meets raffy again, he's quiet and she's trying to prod a word out of him but he won't budge cuz he's hurt 😭 and u can go on from there! aargh i love hurt/comfort so much.

happy valentines!! (in advance) 😔🎊🎂

YES rafa is my babygirl. my muse. my glubglubglub. my everything. HE'S SUPER RELATABLE TOO ??? HELP my abandonment issues are literally the same, I'm almost offended 😭😭💔 tysm for the request & happy early valentinesss 💓💓💓

ʟᴏ$ᴇʀ=ʟ♡ᴠᴇʀ !

rafayel x reader

cw: burn-out like symptoms, wounds/blood, arguing, cursing, hurt & comfort

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼

6:00 a.m., you skimmed over rafayel's last message and told yourself to reply later - of course, as fate does, a super strong wanderer appeared which occupied you for an excruciating, multiple hour long fight. it was night when you returned home, stripping off your uniform and throwing your gun on the kitchen counter. You barely made it to bed, soaking your sheets in a bit of blood before completely passing out.

it was noon when you woke up again and evening when you were done with your report and bandaging your wound. finally, you were able to check your phone, and it doomed on you. rafayel's message stayed unreplied. you scrolled down his other three texts.

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

11am rafa: are u ok?

12am rafa: (y/n), can I come over?

1pm: are u serious? not this again.

𓇼 ⋆｡˚ 𓆝⋆｡˚ 𓇼

you furrowed your eyebrows in regret, but exhaled painfully right after. your wound opened again.

you were forced on another, quicker mission that night, but it still left you exhausted, your former wound nagging at you still. once again you came home late, passed out, and woke up around noon. opening your phone, there were no new messages.

quickly, you pressed the call button and were shocked to find the artist wasn't picking up.

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼

5:00 pm y/n: hey, sry rafayel. work has been a lot lately.

5:01 pm y/n: I'm rlly sorry

𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧𓇼

wincing, you sat down, your heart beating anxiously for some reason. 'what if this is it? I broke his promise. there's no reason for him to stay. it's fair, but I need him around. because...'

because you like him. it's selfish, you want him around although you barely fill his needs. suddenly, a very familiar dark cloud forms in your stomach and you feel depressed. deeming another relationship ruined by your work, you open social media to drown out the silence.

several hours passed until a knock at your door ripped you out your daze. quickly, you got up and open it. "rafayel." you say, his name coming out almost like a sigh of relief before you could register it. he was dressed in his white shirt, and white pants adorned with an intricate silver belt - he looked put together as always. you, on the other hand, were in an oversized tee, messy hair and deep eyebags with chapped lips. "hi." he simply greeted, making his way into your apartment.

you followed him, breathing anxiously at his unreadable aura. "listen, rafayel - I'm sorry, I wanted to reply and text you but.."

"you forgot." he replied, crossing his arms. there was a look of hurt and disappointment in his face. "it's not that simple." you argued, breathing in to continue, but he emotionally cut you off. "it is, though. (y/n), if you'd like me enough, a simple task like keeping me updated would be easy."

"rafayel. I like you, I like you a lot but..." you breathed in deeply, the harshness of his words getting to you enough to make your eyes teary. defeated, you sat down on your couch, burying your face in your hands. "these past days have been a lot, I could barely take care of myself and most of the time I was either fighting, passed out or tending to my wounds..." you trailed off weakly - due to your eyes being covered, you couldn't see rafayel's eyebrows raising in shock at your reaction, his arms slowly sinking.

"I swear if I'd have a normal life, I'd text you regularly, but it's not." slowly, you raise your head to meet his eyes - yours were puffy and red, tears streamed down your face. rafayel stayed silent, waiting for you to continue.

"it'd be selfish of me to wish for you to stick by me while i don't fulfill your needs, i know i'm not a good...friend. I try to do my best, rafa. you mean a lot to me, but i understand if you want to leave. you deserve someone better."

at this point, tears were streaming down your face freely, and soft sobs escaped your throat. rafayel lowered his gaze, afraid he'd sink to his knees and beg for forgiveness instead. after a while, he sat next to you, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours and brushing his thumb across your hand as he watched your body move with your sobs. "(Y/N), there is not a single part of you that is selfish."

gently, he holds your cheek and makes you look at him. his hand remains there as he continues talking.

"rather, it is me who is selfish. i crave your attention and validation, and feel hurt if i don't receive it. i'm sorry for being petty, i should've come over sooner. and..."

rafayel moves his hand to wipe away your tears and softly kisses your forehead, he smiles as he hears you breathe out softly.

"i could never bring it over my heart to part from you."

you gaze into his rich, magenta eyes and feel your heartstrings pull towards him. it's as if there were a bridge between your chests. closing your eyes, you feel your love for him blooming in the valleys of your bloodstream and bubbling out of your skin, and it weirdly feels as old as millenia, as if you'd known this love all your life, and all the lives you lived before.

"i'm glad." you smiled wobbly, "i feel the same." with a sigh, you leaned your head on his shoulder and let your body relax.

"i dunno how to feel about you calling us 'friends', though."

[strwberri-milk]

Just read one of your ao3 fics and immediately came here. Could you possibly do Kaeya's first reaction to reader squirting for the first time?

ooo nice!! i didnt konw if people would really see my tumblr from my ao3 so im glad to hear that <33 also i. literally just accidentally posted this so people who sent asks before this/a few days ago YES i have your asks i just forgot to save this as a draft im sorry ;-;

One thing about Kaeya is he is incredibly diligent in whatever he does. He does everything to 100%, even if it doesn't seem like it. What his priorities are is an entirely different matter.

This is doubly so whenever it comes to you. He adores you with every fiber of his being, loving to be around you and spend time with you and learn what makes you laugh and smile. Making you happy is the only thing he thinks he's okay with doing for the rest of his life.

When you first began to spend nights at his place he liked to try and rile you up, see what kinds of things get you going and how to make you a flustered mess. It was a fun past time of his and he really quite enjoyed it.

Once you started having sex with him you realised fully the true extent of his devotion to you. He used his body to make you melt under his hold, desperate for more and more of him. It didn't matter how much you pushed against him, as long as you didn't tell him no, he had no issues working over the edge over and over again.

His favourite was to see how much overstimulation you could take after a bout of edging before the only thing you could say was his name, body shaking as sweat ran down your skin that he couldn't help but kiss. The way your hands trembled in his as he held you could make him rock hard in an instant, gently nosing against you with the light ask of "again?" in that soft husky voice you could never resist.

All of his experimentation paid off one night in a big way, and the only way you could describe his reaction was excited. You knew in you'd never rest again after this joint discovery, but the way he pulled you into his chest made you not mind too much.

"Fuck, you're doing so good," Kaeya pants into your ear, ramming into your used hole over and over.

Your nails are scratching against his chest, pressed up against him in a way that would be uncomfortable were it not for him stealing any coherent thought you could have with the way he's fucking you. It's endless, almost maddening but you can't help the way your body reacts. His hands hold your hips still, forcing you to take whatever it is he wants to give you as your knees weakly rest against his waist.

"Mmn, Kaeya -" you keen, feeling another orgasm beginning to crest.

He was fighting for this one, feeling you on the precipice for a while now but for some reason, he wasn't yet able to push you over the edge. Now that it was coming again, he had to just have it. Your walls were clenching so tightly over him and you were biting your lip again, trying to hide your moans from him but he would just have to ignore it for now.

Kaeya is relentless, sitting up and pushing your thigh towards your chest so he can mount you better, watching as your body bounces against the sheets hungrily. There's nothing he loves the sight of more and when your expression begins to shift he knows he has you.

He fucks you through the orgasm, chasing his own peak as he feels your arousal soak his pelvis. The sound you make and the feeling is so erotic it makes him cum on the spot, almost collapsing onto you as his hips continue grinding into you slowly.

"You fucking squirted," he huffs into your ear, almost offended you held out on him.

"Why are you mad at me?!" you retort, brain too fuzzy to think right as you smack his face in retaliation.

"Have you never done that before?" You shake your head and an evil grin spreads across his face as he flips you over, pulling your back into an arch as he manages to get his half-hard cock inside of you.

"Really? I'll see how many times I can make you do it then," he practically growls at you, brutal pace starting up again.

[hanniluvi]

💭 — RICKY AS YOUR BOYFRIEND !

SOPH — tysm for the two anons that requested this! sorry for the delay, i was trying to do a bunch of reqs at once but got carried away due to some school work </3 (yes i have summer hw im suffering). hope you enjoy these though!

GENRE — fluff, angst if you squint | WARNINGS — lower case intended, 2nd pov, and that’s it?

— he seems the type to play it cool in a relationship but is actually a MESS. like what should he do? should he be flirting with you? should you guys be doing anything? besides that cool face, this mind is racking ideas of what he should do and what’s best for the relationship. anything for you!!

— i don’t think ricky could ever get mad at you. like maybe jokingly mad or being frustrated but that’s all. i don’t think he really likes conflict and tries fixing it. thing is, he may give silent treatment just so he could talk to myself on how to solve an argument between you two.

— now, ricky may forget a lot of things, but he never forgets anything about you! anyone can ask something about you, and he’s like a walking google about you. ik he whips his head if he hears your name come out of any of the member’s mouth. they can call him a simp for all he cares — he knows it’s true anyways.

— “you know ricky, you don’t know a lot of stuff of me compared to your partner.” “gyuvin yeah, cause you’re not yn.” “i get that but come on, how could you forget my favorite food?” “oh sorry, i forgot.” “ricky i’ll beat you up—” “yn!!!”

— he would get excited over little gifts you give him. he’s used to being the gift giver, so seeing you get him something just seems ten time more valuable than those luxury brands. probably shows it off to the others. “bet you don’t have this,” LMFAO hes so silly

— the type to send pics of himself or sweet msgs to you when he misses you. and he js plays it off with “i bet you miss me so here you go.” in reality, he just misses you and just wants to hear sweet things from you :( <3

— boy he LOVES strawberries. so he probably buys you strawberry items so that you can be reminded of him. let’s say his obsession can get out of hand, but who doesn’t love cute strawberry items???

— i feel like he would prefer a more private relationship?? but that doesn’t work out since he acts SOOO different around you. so when he announces that you two are dating, the others aren’t surprised whatsoever.

— pretty clueless so would ask you for help because it’s “you two getting along” he says. he would find any excuse to be with you at all times and just wouldn’t mind acting a little clueless.

— if there’s any language barriers, i feel like he’d try his best to communicate with you as best as he can. sure, he wants to give up at some times, but he remembers you, the main cause of his motivation. so he’d study really hard for you :)

— ricky isn’t always as open with his thoughts as he think he is. sometimes, he may isolate himself, just because there’s a lot on his mind. so that’s when you step in! give him comfort and offer to listen bc that’s all what he needs!

— secretly likes physical touch but won’t flat out admit it. he wouldn’t pretend he hates it either, he just lets it happen. secretly smiles when you suddenly become clingy around him. he likes you initiating it first because he doesn’t want to be annoying or a bother to you when he needs affection </3

— the longer you’re in a relationship with him, the more comfortable he is with you. and that’s a good thing! but he still gets flustered over small acts you do for him.

— partner privilege is probably a thing.

— would love showing you off :’) he’s just really glad yours is and sometimes can’t believe it himself. which is why he may just catch himself be quiet and admire you <3

💭 — in bloom already has two wins 🙏 so proud of them <3

ZB1 PERM TAGLIST — @dwcljh @ilovewonyo @jiawji @tzyuki @kpoprhia @flamiricky @misoxhappy @lluvjjun @zzzhoonie

[anonymouscheeses]

more obvious shit I wanted to point out but it's more than last time uhhh pt.2 (spoilers for dad beat dad and maybe welcome to heaven. Maybe?)

I love that Charlie just randomly goes into demon form sometimes like here ehhehehe. Also can I just say I love Charlie so much?? She is my favorite and I love her especially in this episode because it feels like the same optimistic Charlie but she was just put in a bad situation. I relate to her a bit TOO much, almost down to every detail like wow. You'll understand later once I get there. But just wow...

LOOK AT THIS FUNNY LITTLE MAN. SPOODER DUST <3 also. Live [image] reaction. Someone make that into a reaction image 🙏🙏

HONEY!!! NEW MEME TEMPLATE JUST DROPPED. (Aka the one guy going crazy trying to explain the stuff on the board iykyk)

OMG... THAT CANT BE CHARLIE... NOT CHARLIE'S EMO PHASE PLEASE BAHAHAHHAHAHA (also love that Lucifer has kept it all these years, if Charlie knew I think she'd be extremely embarrassed. Vaggie would love it probably xd)

HE IS SO GOOFY I CANT- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ALREADY!!! NEED.

Broskie got character development and is NICE?!? I LOVE THAT SMMM YALL.... LOOK AT HIM!! I am very delusional yes, but I will take this over ass development(cough. Vaggie's "story" in ep 3. Cough).

Imagine this. *holds your hand carefully to help you calm down while talking to your father you haven't really wanted to talk to.* lesbian type stuff ngl 🤯 (relatable)

Angel looking at the gays while being a gay too. HE'S BEING SO KIND TO CHARLIE UGGHH I CANTTT!!(POS) NODDING HIS HEAD, SMILING TO HER, ALSO TRYING TO HELP CALM HER DOWN. I MAY BE ASS AT SOCIAL CUES BUT I NOTICED THIS ONE!! YAA

*SHE IS STILL HOLDING HER HAND. CHARLIE'S ALSO SWINGING IT AROUND NERVOUSLY. I can never get tired of them and will make art soon just you wait.*

COMMANDER VAGGIE! I love that she acts like this is a camp full of tiny kids and honestly? That's not too far off. Sir pentious is at the ready! (glad he's here more often in the episode, thought he would just get sidelined after his first episode but gladly no!) Angel is just surprised. Husk spilled his drink, ON WHITE FUR NO LESS! Niffty of course is on the floor face first. Charlie is just happy to be there yippee!

What is this?? I have no idea what the hell it is at all. Bro is just peepin- it doesn't look like Alastor, even in demon form. And... I can't think of anyone else who could be this. Anyone have ideas or maybe it's foreshadowing? Maybe it was revealed in the 6th episode I don't know I haven't watched it yet. (I am a freak. I don't binge I give myself a day to watch a single episode. Most of the time uhhh.)

WE LOVE A SHORT KING. I LOVE THAT. I LOVE HIM. THE EVERYTHING. HE IS EVERYTHING. LET ME STRANGLE HIM PLEASE. (Lillith and Lucifer's dynamic is 100% Gomez and Morticia but a little more silly short man)

"OH WOW! AN OLDER MAN WHO GIVES ME FATHERLY CARE!" *STARTS TO FUCKING CRY*

I FEEL YOU CHARLIE WAAAGHHH

Oh and there goes the silly guy again! Atp I'm thinking it may be the gal some people been talking about that they've been hinting since the pilot. I forgot her name but she's said to be the big bad of season 1 or probably 2. Not sure if that's what it's trying to imply but here's my little no-thought idea

Lucifer, no...

LUCIFER NO!! THIS IS SUCH AN ADORABLE RESPONSE TO CHARLIE DATING A WOMAN. (ADOPT ME)

AND THEN THE HUG! I GET IM LOOKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS ONE SILLY SCENE BUT I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH AND WANT THIS SO BAD IN MY LIFE.

Niffty really said, "Yes, I do the cleaning."

Get yourself a taller king who is a short king but compared to you is a tall king

Say what you will, but I genuinely want more dad Alastor, someone make an au before I do plsss and @ me 🙏🙏

alright.. now this is where it starts to be relatable and hurt my heart... yayy.... needing any sort of parent figure that actually cares about you than the actual parent who is rarely there? WOWZA! SAME CHARLIE <3 <3 (SO FAR VERY ACCURATE FROM SOMEONE THAT IS IN THE SAME SITUATION)

Alastor is letting her off kindly, atleast in his way. He may be pissed off she brought a shark gang to the hotel and put it on fire, but they were still close friends. With anyone else he would absolutely either murder them or have severely traumatized the person. She's the exception, although I don't think he'd let it off the hook so easily if there were a next time.

A father-daughter embrace! :,)

(This is gonna be messy asf) He wants to know who she is as a person. He always has, and that's definitely obvious, but from a person inside this, they may not know themselves what the other is thinking. To Charlie it was like he never cared and just wanted an excuse to not see her again, acting like he was truly busy as in the start where he made the rubber duck that breathed fire. Sure. But Charlie saw it as him finding ways to not interact with her again. The only times they talk was when it was related to business stuff or other things of the sort. Let me just say this song... is by far my favorite, including the episode. Sure, it's got problems it's own, but this extremely accurate portrayal of what my own situation with one of my parents just stole my entire soul. Yeah I got a bit of tears about to come out, BUT NOPE! NOT TODAY! I don't ever cry during shows or movies so if I ever get teary-eyed, YOU DID SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING BEING GOOD. This episode was emotional and connected with me on a deep level that I dont think any film has ever done to me, which is weird because I've been actively trying to find one, any one that does. Then to find it in an indie company from a creator who has achieved the dreams that I myself want to one day? That's fucking amazing.

FORESHADOWING! FROESHADOWING! FORESHADOWING! VAGGIE EX-ANGEL THEORY MUST BE CANON AND IF ITS NOT I WILL TEAR MYSELF LIMB FROM LIMB WITH A CROWBAR. LETS GO TO HEAVENNN!!! TOMORROW! BECAUSE THE DAY I PUBLISH THIS WILL BE TOMORROW(FOR YOU TODAY) BUT TOMORROW FOR YOU ILL POST THE NEXT WHAT I CAUGHT SHENANIGANS AGAIN! SEE YA!

[bluewxrld07]

She's All I Wanna Be (Trevor Zegras)

Trevor Zegras x Reader - Instagram AU

Warning(s): Angst

Summary: Based off Tate McRae's song She's All I Wanna Be :)

dixiedamelio just posted a photo!!

liked by charlidamelio, mileycyrus, trevorzegras, and 1,250,542 others

dixiedamelio Inner Miley Cyrus Bangerz era.... oh and pc to Z

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user1 ok but her suit slays

user2 anybody else notice she didn't tag Trevor? Little sis if you ask me

user3 We all know they're together at this point. They just don't want to rip the bandaid off

user2 Right? We all know he dumped yourusername to be with Dixie. He's just trying to avoid confirmation

charlidamelio 🦆

addisonrae Bod goals af

trevorzegras 😳

trevorzegras sorry still in awe of u

user4 He doesn't even try to hide it

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by jackhughes, yourbff, jamiedrysdale, colecaufield and 1,475,998 others

yourusername you want the girl with the small waist, and the perfect smile

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user1 She's always been so gorgeous I am obsessed w/her

user2 Glad to see a model who has the same body type as me owning it 🥰

user3 Yeeesshhhh Trevor's loss

user4 Why would she post something like this when her body looks like that? It's actually horrendous 🤢

user1 This is what healthy looks like first off? Second off she's a gym influencer who heavy lifts? What's your talent? Tell me her confidence levels are annoying you without actually telling me fr user4

yourbff Currrrves for daysss

yourbff Hottie w/ a body??!

jackhughes Bestie looking fine as always

yourbff um jackhughes bye she's my bff get your own bff since your last one has a trashy looking type jackhughes Shhhh don't expose me like that we don't claim it

trevorzegras just posted a photo!

liked by charlidamelio, dixiedamelio, alexturcotte, and 1,045,609 others

trevorzegras Obsessed w/ u

tagged: dixiedamelio

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user1 well this wasn't on my bingo card

user2 omg isn't that Charli's sister? I forgot her name. What does she do???

user1 I'm dead, you really clowning her lmfao user2

user3 So much prettier than what's her face

user4 I miss yourusername

user5 It's the fact that she's back to her darker hair? Anyone finding that a little weird?

dixiedamelio All heart eyes for you 😘

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, jackhughes, tatemcrae, gigihadid, and 2,649,913 others

yourusername if you say she's nothing to worry about, then why'd close your eyes when I said it out loud?

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jackhughes Bring me my matcha latte

yourusername I'd already be there if someone didn't drop it, so we're getting you a new one jackhughes yourbff It wasn't my fault the door didn't announce its presence..... jackhughes only you'd blame the door yourbff

user1 Literally love this girl

user2 Kinda crazy Trevor posts Dixie right after yourusername posted. He also never posted her, so what makes Dixie so different lmao

user3 what’s crazier is that Dixie literally just dyed her hair blonde and cut it so short, to now having dark hair and extensions 🤔

yourbff You look sooo good

yourbff IM obsessed w/ YOU

user4 The shade lmfao crazy

dixiedamelio posted a photo!

liked by noahbeck, charlidamelio, tanamongeau, trevorzegras and 3,146,098 others

dixiedamelio thanks vanity fair for the fun day 💅🏼

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user1 ohhhh boy…

user2 Yeah it’s scary how much she’s tryna look like yourusername

tanamongeau Wow Dix ballsy as fuck lmao

yourbff interesting.

user3 SO glad yourbff sees it too

user4 Dixie can try to look like her, but she won’t ever be able to lift like her. Bet she can’t lift anything over ten pounds

jackhughes just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, colecaufield, l_hughes03, yourusername and 5,973,899 others

jackhughes We can lay on her and she still doesn’t feel a thing. Probably could lift us both with her eyes closed

tagged: yourusername, colecaufield

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user1 I’m living for Jack being on her side during this lmfao

user2 The SHADE LMFAO JACK

user3 Let’s see Dixie try to remake this photo bahahah

yourbff Pretty sure you all fell asleep like that too

yourusername we did lmfao

colecaufield comfiest I’ve ever slept

jackhughes 10/10 recommend

yourbff Writing out the yelp review rn

l_hughes03 I call top next time

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by tatemcrae, yourusername, colecaufield and 1,347,856 others

yourbff I was just as amazed as Tate was when y/n lifted me onto her back. Carrying me on her back as well as she did with her last relationship. Stupid boy making her so sad

tagged: tatemcrae, yourusername

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tatemcrae That last line in your caption sounding a little familiar 🤔🤔

tatemcrae But also me next, me next!!

jackhughes I walked in on this

l_hughes03 I walked out on this

colecaufield I wanna be in on this

yourusername you’re all a pain in my ass on this

yourbff We just love you ok

*liked by yourusername, jackhughes, l_hughes03, colecaufield and tatemcrae*

user1 This friendgroup is what I strive to have in life

user2 Dixie kicking and punching air rn

*liked by yourbff*

dixiedamelio posted a photo!

liked by charlidamelio, trevorzegras, jamiedrysdale, alexturcotte and 4,137,980 others

dixiedamelio all mine plus bff

tagged : trevorzegras, alexturcotte

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user1 Girl keep him lmfao nobody gonna steal him like you did to yourusername

*liked by yourbff*

user2 Nah man not Alex bro rip 🥲🥲

trevorzegras all yours ❤️

charlidamelio He wanted someone he could show off whenever you go out

dixiedamelio I’ll wear a tight mini black dress with all my friends around 💅🏼

user3 ohhhh she PETTY petty

user4 Her and her sister wanna be besties with Tate and yourusername so bad omfg it’s a headache

*liked by yourbff and tatemcrae*

tanamongeau I think I’ve seen similar posts like these somewhere….🤔

yourusername posted a photo!

liked by jackhughes, tatemcrae, yourbff, trevorzegras and 7,247,113 others

yourusername I’m all she wanna be so bad

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user1 OH NOW THIS WAS A TWIST

user2 Not her turning the lyrics around to call out Dixie oop

tatemcrae lyric change approved 😚❤️

yourusername 🥰💅🏼

yourbff kind of like this version better

tatemcrae Glad I’m not the only one

jackhughes Permission to call you mommy after seeing this post?

yourusername denied

yourbff denied

tatemcrae denied

l_hughes03 Wow you got rejected more than me my Freshman year at Umich jackhughes

colecaufield The better looking ex

user3 It’s the fact Trevor liked the post too I’m dead

*liked by yourbff and yourusername*

[1whore1gang]

it’s the little things🤍

hey y’all! this is part 6!!

catch up HERE

sorry this took so long to get out to y’all, been working like crazy and had some writers block, BUT IM HERE TO FEED YALL

warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT

MDNI!!!

Taglist: @gaymistakeboi@batw3nch@thedevillovesflowers@almightywdm@ghostslittlegf@sketchyfandomgirl@under-the-dirt@clear-your-mind-and-dream@darkangel4121@vreselia@llemes @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx

as always please yell at me if i forgot you!

You lay in your cot, your body aching from the long days of hard work. You had just gotten back from a shift, your phone ringing as your back hit the fabric. You had super shotty service, so a call coming throigh was a miracle.

“Hey baby, I hope you’re well.” You swiped to answer the call. It was your John.

“Hey honey, just tired as hell.” You chuckled a little as you laid on your side, placing your phone next to you.

“I know you don’t have much time to talk and need your rest but I wanted to not only hear your voice but let you know I met the babysitter today. She cleared the background check and she loves the boys.” You could hear his smile in his voice.

“That’s good.” You replied, your eyes closed as you felt your body relax to his voice.

“She’s young, 19. She’s a spritey thing, lots of energy. She’s bubbly and super great with the boys. Her name is Tia. I think she’ll be good for them, be able to keep up.” He sounded excited, and you were happy he’d found a girl you could trust to watch the boys.

“I’m glad babe, hopefully they don’t chase her away. How much is she charging? Is she staying on base?”

He chuckled, “I’m paying her so don’t you worry about the money doll, as for her, she’s staying in my room. I’m giving my room a deep clean and washing my sheets before I leave.”

“She’s sleeping in your bed?” You opened your eyes at this and propped yourself up on your elbow.

“Yeah, comfier than the couch.” He said it so casually, but it somewhat bothered you that some babysitter was sleeping in his bed before you were. Yes, you chose not to, but it still bothered you, the idea of a much younger woman sleeping in his sheets, using his room for herself. “Baby?”

His voice broke you out of your thoughts. “Yeah, but the couch isn’t too bad. I’ve been sleeping on it. I would prefer it over my current situation.” You heard John laugh a little.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out there before you know it, I’ll make sure you stay comfy and get rested. Tia though-“ He continued to ramble on about how Tia did with the boys and what he thought of her. He spoke about how she’s coming again so he can give her a rundown on everything she’ll need to know, and make sure she doesn’t have any questions. He said he’s going to spend the day with her and the boys so she can get acquainted.

It bothered you a bit. You knew deep down it was nothing, John wouldn’t sleep with a 19 year old, nor would he cheat on you. Right?

“But, I’ll let you go my love, get some rest. I’ll see you in 4 days.” You big your goodbyes as he hung up.

You quickly fell into a deep sleep.

“Lieutenant! Get your ass up and get to your post!!” You woke up to Captain Snyder’s voice booming. “You’ve got 20 minutes until your shift, get moving.”

“Yes sir.” Your voice was hoarse as you arose from the rough cot and threw on the missing pieces of your uniform you didn’t sleep in. Your eyes were heavy as you hobbled to your post, taking the jeep to the embassy.

You noticed your soldiers were in a similar state? you were all starving and restless. Some soldiers had been sent home because of their sickness, being considered critical. You did your best not to push your squad, letting them take breaks and rest up, but more and more were falling ill, including yourself.

Unfortunately, being the leader, you weren’t allowed to go take a break or go rest up to feel healthy. You had to push through and manage, and that had caused you to become a shell of yourself. You had continued to lose weight, lose energy and motivation, even feeling i’ll yourself. You weren’t able to eat from lack of appetite, anything you ate came back up within an hour.

You felt like death, and you were scared for John to see you this way, but he was bringing backup to replace the soldiers who had been rushed to hospitals.

At night while you were watching transports, you dreamed of him getting off that plane, the way his arms would save you from the trouble you’d endured here.

The worst part of this mission though? Captain Snyders team was completely fine. They were all healthy, rested and none of them had fallen ill. They weren’t being pushed like your squad.

There was something fishy here and you couldn’t put your finger on it. You didn’t have the energy to even put thought into it.

You were so close to John’s arrival, only 36 hours until he arrived. You were on duty when you were checking someone into the embassy and you felt your field of vision turn black. You grabbed into Private Frag next to you as you felt yourself begin to collapse.

You woke up 32 hours later. Captain Snyder was in the med tent with you and the nurse. He looked pissed. “Lieutenant, nice of you to join us. What the hell were you thinking?! You have a crew to take care of!”

“I’m sorry sir, I haven’t been feeling myself lately.” Your voice came out so quietly, your voice lost somewhere.

“No excuses L.T. You’re here because I recommended you. Your commendable leadership in previous missions was what got you here. Your behavior on this mission has been unacceptable, and therefore you’ve been sentenced to 24 hour duty. You will watch the embassy starting tomorrow at noon, and finishing the following day at noon with no breaks.” You felt your breath catch, there was no way he expected you to do that in your condition. You could barely speak! Barely move!

“Sir, I don’t mean to talk back but-“

“Then don’t speak.” You felt the feeling of crying, but no tears came due to your dehydration. “You are allowed the rest of today to rest, but I want to see you well and alive tomorrow at noon at the embassy’s back entrance to begin your shift. Now, if you excuse me I have to go welcome to incoming squad and Captain Price.”

You sighed at his name, your John was here. You began to breath unevenly, emotion taking over you, but you were too tired to cry. “Sir, if I could just-“

“No Lieutenant. You will not speak any longer. You are to remain silent when I am in your presence. I do not want anymore inexcusable behavior from you and if there is, I will be forced to punish you accordingly.” He was stern as he threw his cap on and exited the tent.

You felt helpless as the nurse shushed you and began to administer more fluids into your IV and tried to give you some food.

A couple of hours later, you were up and walking. You were hardly doing it, but the nurse needed the bed for a soldier who had gotten a stomach parasite while in the desert. You were on your way back to your tent when you saw Captain Snyder.

His cocky smirk made your stomach sink. “Lieutenant! I see your back to your normal self!” He landed a hard pat to your shoulder, making you nearly topple over.

“Sir, please, I really need a couple of days to recover, I’m not well.” You looked up at him with your droopy, sunken in eyes.

He laughed. “You think I’m going to allow you that? I am your superior and you are going to listen to me. You answer to me and take orders from me. If I tell you you’re fine and to fulfill your 24 hour tomorrow, that’s what you do. Clear?”

“Captain, sir, please-“

“I said clear?!” His voice echoed as he shouted in your face, his grip tight on your upper arm.

“Sir-“

“I’m sorry.” You heard a cocky voice fill your ears. “What did you just say?” It was a voice that began to fill your soul with life.

“Captain Price.” Snyder kept his grip on you as he turned. “I was just telling my Lieutenant here-“

“Your Lieutenant?” John chuckled lowly as he slowly stepped closer, foot by foot.

“I am her Captain now, she takes her orders from me.” His grip tightened on you as he straightened himself to stand taller. You whimpered at the brusing grip of his fingers digging into your skin.

John’s laugh brought your eyes up to him. Your knees about gave out at the sight of him. He was in full uniform, his guns hanging from his hip, his boonie cap hanging low on his forehead. “Last time I checked Captain,” He spat the man’s title. “Her vest says 141, so does her file. That makes her my Lieutenant.” John cocked his head to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You are not apart of this mission Price.” Snyder kept his arm on you, almost like his bruises in your arm would claim you as his property.

“Get your hands off my officer before I lay mine on you.” John’s voice was a growl as he threatened Snyder. “Now.”

You felt the fingers dug into your arm slowly release as you wobbled, now standing on your own. You fully faced John, seeing him fully. His gaze softened at your state. “She will only ever take orders from me, her Captain. She will not take anything from your mouth. She is my Lieutenant, and will report to me and only me.” He gently grabbed you as he escorted you to your tent, leaving Captain Snyder speechless.

“Oh Y/N, my dear.” He set you on your cot, coming to sit with you, letting you lean against him. “What is happening here?”

You sniffled as you took in that homey scent of him. The sweet cologne mixed with cigar smoke. He was here, your John was here. “How’re the boys, I miss them.”

“Oh your voice-“ He began to draw circles into your back as he ran his hand through your hair, shushing you. “Don’t talk, save your energy to rest, love. I’m so sorry this is happening.”

You look up at him, staring into his eyes. “Kiss me.”

He doesn’t hesitate to follow your instructions. His lips meet yours briefly, yet the kiss was so full of love and care. “Darling…”

“John?” You said.

“Yes dear?”

“What was that out there?”

“What was what?” He cocked his head, raising his eyebrows as he stared down at you.

“Your Lieutenant?” You smirked, kissing him again.

“You are mine. That man has no right to talk to you that way. Only I can boss you around, only I can order you around. You’re mine.” His eyes darkened as he spoke, his voice a low growl.

“John?” You cooed.

“Yes Y/N?” His eyes were hooded as he looked at you.

“Make me yours.” John flinched forward to kiss you but quickly stopped. “John?”

“I don’t wanna break you. You’re so pretty and you don’t feel well.” His hand caressed your cheek.

“I don’t care, wreck me.”

John’s whole demeanor changed as he roughly captured your lips with his, his hands groping around your body, holding on tightly.

“Look at ya, all needy for me.” John’s voice ran shivers up your spine as his breath tickled against your neck.

His lips left marks all over your neck as he began to rid you of your shirt. “Lemme see ya-“

“John-“ His eyes met yours as you began to breath quicker in anticipation. He looked at you as you nodded and he quickly left you without a shirt or bra.

His hands massaged your breasts as his mouth took home on one of your nipples, sucking and playing with it. His gums of satisfaction caused sparks through your nerves. You let out a few quiet moans, and at that he made it his job to bring more out of you.

He loved that sound and wanted to drink it in, hearing it over and over. You put your hand in his hair as he continue to give your breasts attention, but you needed him elsewhere. You took his wrist in your other hand as you let it to your center. “John, please.” You begged.

His eyes were blown out as he looked up at you, practically ripping your pants off as he took his stance between your legs, his face inches from you. “You’re soaked baby.” Two of his fingers dragged through your folds. “All ready for me aren’t you?”

Those two fingers pressed inside of you, moving around, feeling the way you felt. John let out a moan at the feeling, beginning to scissor his fingers to stretch you out. “Gotta make you comfortable baby.” His fingers then pumped in and out of you slowly as his mouth latched into your clit.

You let out an unholy moan at the pressure. “John!” His name kept leaving your lips along with strings of curses.

“You gonna cum for me doll?” His voice had a hint of teasing to it, having you coming undone so quickly. “Do it, cum around my fingers, all over my mouth.”

And you did. His beard was coated with a glaze as he sat up and began to undo his belt. “Come here sweet thing.���

His thumb guided your chin as you sat up, mouth open and ready for him. “Mmm, that’s a sight.”

“I love you John.” You said with doe eyes, staring up at him from the edge of your cot.

“You’re gonna really love me in a minute baby.” He pulled his boxers down and freed his hard cock, it springing free in front of your eyes.

You stared as he pulled his pants all the way down and discarded his shirt. His cock was large, but it was beautiful. It had a vein running up the bottom of it, curving up slightly and his pink tip was shiny with precum. You licked your lips as your left hand rested on his thigh, your right wrapping around his base.

You heard his breath hitch at the contact and you looked up at him as you took him in your mouth, then locking a stripe up the bottom of his cock. “Fuck baby, yes.”

His hand came to dig into your hair to guide you along him, you sucking and pumping him to absolute ecstasy.

His groans were music to your ears. You continued to keep eye contact as he began to take control little by little. You felt his hand gently push against the back of your head as you took him deeper and deeper into your throat.

You could tell he wanted to fuck your mouth. You pulled off of him with a pop and brought his face close to yours. “John honey?”

“Yes?”

“Do it.” John let out the most gorgeous moan at your words as he stood back to his full height and tightly held your hair. He shoved his dick all the way to the back of your throat, causing a small gag to come out of you.

He was singing your praises as he stayed there. “That’s it baby, relax for me.” He spoke slowly, calmly.

Continuing to take deep breaths, your nose was buried in his hips until he moved, and he moved quickly. His pace was reckless and you could feel a bruise forming at the back of your mouth from his tip abusing it. The sounds and grunts coming out of him were dirty and it made you wet thinking about how his cock would feel inside of you.

Your hands squeezed his thighs as you felt him begin to stutter. “Fuck.”

He grabbed your shoulders as he lifted you up and bent you over the small desk in your tent, quickly shoving himself deep in your pussy. “So fucking tight, mm.”

He paused for a second, breathing through teeth. “Fuck baby, relax a little.”

His thumb rubbed your lower back as he felt you become more comfortable with his size. He bummed as he began to move, slow at first.

He grunted as his arms crossed, hands grabbing your hips to reinforce himself as his hips began to quickly snap against your ass. You were a moaning mess as his balls stimulated your clit. “Fuck! Yes!”

“Who do you belong to?” He said it between grunts and the question caused you to moan in response. “Who’s. Are. You.”

“Yours! I’m all yours John!!” You we’re shouting, the pleasure he was giving you was out of this world.

You felt the coil in your stomach tightening as he continued to plow into you. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You said, your legs beginning to shake.

“Cum for me darling.” A couple more thrusts and you were a mess under him, your hips were beginning to ache and your legs were jelly.

“I’m close.” He growled lowly, grunts pouring from his mouth as his hips moved sloppily. “In or out?”

You couldn’t even respond as he continued to wreck your insides. “Baby, I need to know.”

“In.”

John released as soon as the word left your mouth, filling you up. His pulled his cock out and quickly shoved two fingers in you, keeping his cum from leaking out. “Look at how pretty you look all fucked out.”

“John…” Your voice made him switch immediately, removing his fingers and swooping you up in his arms as he put you on your cot.

“I’ll be right back, I promise.” John kissed your forehead, leaving the tent.

You laid in the afterglow waiting for him to return, and when he did you began to tear up. He walked in with your favorite pajama pants and one of his hoodies and a towel.

He was dressed in his pajamas as well. He cleaned you up, helping you into the clothes he brought you. “I couldn’t come see my girl and not bring her something from home when I leave.”

He laid down behind you, your back against his chest as he pulled your hair into two braids, out of your face. “I really do love you John.”

“I love you too, and don’t let Snyder get to you. I will take care of it okay? You will be here resting as long as you need before you’re healthy again. I won’t let him mistreat you anymore. You’re my girl.”

You turned to look up at him as he planted a long kiss on your lips. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

You kissed him again before settling in against his chest. “Thank you…”

“Always my love.”

[horanghaeluvsinniehae]

SKZ!BFF DRUNKLY CONFESSING PT.2 pt.1

||BANG CHAN||LEE MINHO||SEO CHANGBIN||HWANG HYUNJIN||HAN JISUNG||LEE FELIX||KIM SEUNGMIN||YANG JEONGIN||

Han’s text yesterday made your heart drop to your stomach. You’ve liked Han for a while now and you’ve been daydreaming a lot about how it’d be if you dated him. When you saw a text about him having a partner, all of those dreams were shattered. Thinking about him dating someone else was a painful thought, at first you got jealous, but then you realised that you should support him no matter what because at the end of the day, he’s still your best friend.

The stone that fell off your heart when you realised that Hannie doesn’t have a partner and is instead drunkenly confessing to you was the size of the moon. You felt like you could breathe again, you felt so relieved.

When he texted you in the morning, you were so happy that he actually meant what he drunkenly told you plus he wanted to talk to you! After you sent the last message your phone immediately rang. You picked it up excited but also anxiously.

“Hi y/n!” His voice rang through your head and you instantly smiled. You were smitten with him. “Hey Hanji! Are you doing okay??” You asked a bit concerned about not wanting him to be sick because he’s obviously hungover after last night. “Yeah yeah, just a bit of a headache but nothing bad don’t worry!” He assured you and you could hear in his voice that he was okay.

“Okay y/nah, first of all, I wanted to say sorry for my behaviour from last night. Even if you weren’t uncomfortable I want to apologise. “Oh Hannie it’s okay, don’t worry, please!” You said and smiled at the boy’s politeness. “Thank you y/n! I’m glad it didn’t end up as a disaster…But I’d still like to tell you, that I meant what I said yesterday and um I’d really like it if you would be my partner…would you be?” He asked and the shy reserved Jisung was back.

You were so happy that you almost forgot to answer.“Gosh Hanji! Of course I would!!” You were basically jumping out of happiness. “Let’s gooo” you heard him cheer and you did too.“I’m soo happy y/nah!!” Han said and you started smiling widely.

You talked a little more about how your days will go and when to meet up. Jisung asked you out on a date tomorrow! He said he’s gonna move the boys into the others’ dorm so you can have it just for yourselves without a crazy kid running around (Changbin). You couldn’t wait for tomorrow, you were so excited!!

A/N: hi guys im sorry if it’s shitty:( im not feeling my best(both mentally and physically) but i wanted to post this. Please be safe and take care of yourselves!❤️‍🩹

taglist: @justwonder113 (if you want to be on it either comment or write in requests please<;3)

[secret-sturniolo]

under the stars - matt sturniolo

summary - it's y/n and Matt's 1 year anniversary, and she can't wait to see what Matt has planned...

warnings - angsty beginning but a fluffy ending, one kiss

a/n - thank you so much for all the love on my first fic "Hot Tub"! i'm so glad you guys liked it, and i am so excited to keep writing!

When I woke up to my alarm this morning, I felt super groggy, and my first instinct was to hit snooze and go back to sleep. That is, until I remembered what day it was. Matt and I have been dating for one year today! I immediately checked for any messages from Matt, but I didn't see any. That's strange I thought, but I figured he had something planned and he wanted to surprise me, so I didn't think much of it. Instead, I decided to get ready for the day so I would be prepared for when Matt told me what he had planned.

I started with my makeup, doing a simple, natural look like Matt always liked. Then I picked out a baby blue crop top, (Matt's favorite color), a pair of high waisted jeans, and I planned to wear my white Air Force 1's. Then I put on my silver necklace with 2 small hearts intertwined, which had been a gift from Matt for Valentine's Day. When I was done getting ready, I checked my phone again, but still nothing from Matt. I'm not going to lie, I felt my heart sink a little, but I decided to call him. Maybe he's just sleeping still I thought as I clicked on Matt's contact. I let it ring all the way through, but there was no answer. I began to get a little worried, so I decided to text Chris and Nick.

Hey, are you guys with Matt, he's not answering his phone? 1:32pm

I waited for a response, but still nothing. My heart began to sink even deeper, my hands shaky and thoughts racing. How could he forget? Hot tears began to roll down my face as I lost all hope, smearing my freshly done makeup down my cheeks. I decided to stop trying, figuring that he obviously didn't want to talk to me. Feeling heartbroken, I took off my carefully planned outfit and changed into sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt, and crawled back under my blankets. I guess I'm ending up going back to sleep anyways I thought. The tears slowly turned into wracking sobs, until finally I was so exhausted that I could no longer keep my eyes open, and I fell into a deep slumber.

When I awoke, I couldn't immediately tell whether it was morning or night. I rolled over to check my phone, and the time read 8:57pm. I didn't mean to sleep that long I thought, as I began looking at my unread notifications.

hey babe, im so sorry but everything will make sense soon 8:46pm

im picking you up in an hour, wear something cozy :) 8:48pm

I stared at the screen, frozen in place as I re-read the texts. So he didn't forget? I quickly text back okay :) love you and I get out of bed once again to get ready. As I look in the bathroom mirror, I can see that my mascara is no longer on my lashes, but instead smeared around my eyes and cheeks. I gently wipe the old makeup off, but decide to leave my face bare rather than reapply more makeup. I leave my sweatpants on, and swap out my baggy tee for a better fitting hoodie, remembering how Matt told me to dress comfortably. Finally, I put the heart necklace back on, pausing to hold the hearts between the fingers as I wonder what could possibly have taken Matt all day. I remember how Matt thinks I look extra cute with braids in my hair, and I decide to put two dutch braids into my dirty blonde hair. Just as I was finishing up, I heard a knock at my front door, and I immediately knew who it was.

I ran to open the door, and just as I thought, Matt was standing there with a smile on his face, looking as handsome as ever. I jumped into his arms, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne.

"Matt, I thought you forgot!" I say, slightly exasperated.

"I know, I'm so sorry sweetheart." he says, holding me tighter. "I could never forget this day. I just had to make sure that my plans were perfect for you."

Smirking slightly, I ask him, "What do you have planned?"

"Get in the car, and you'll find out." Matt tells me, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door.

The ride was about 20 minutes. The whole time, Matt had his left hand on the wheel, and the other was tightly gripping mine, our hands resting on the center console. As the night sky got darker, I admired the stars in the sky. I had always loved them, and I had told Matt multiple times before about my dream of going stargazing one day.

"Matt, look at the stars, aren't they beautiful?" I said, turning to look at him. Matt just giggled in return.

When we reached our destination at the top of a hill, Matt put the car in park and motioned for me to get out and follow him. Once again, he grabbed onto my hand, waiting for me to notice what he had set up. When I saw it, my jaw dropped in awe.

Firstly, Matt had set up a circle of small lanterns, each one giving off just the right amount of light. At the center of the circle, there was a luscious pink blanket big enough for two people, along with two matching pillows at one end of the blanket. At the other end, he had set up a bottle of sparkling juice with two glasses, and an assortment of some of mine and his favorite snacks. It was so perfect, better than I ever could have imagined. All of the stress from earlier in the day melted away, as I turned to look at Matt.

"I hope you like it, I know I upset you earlier but-"

I quickly cut him off with a short, but passionate kiss that said everything that words couldn't.

"Matt, this is perfect! You know I've always wanted to do this!" I buried my head in his shoulder as he laughed and squeezed me back.

"C'mon, let's go lay down." Matt guided us into the circle of light, and we laid side by side, my head on his chest.

"What, am I a better pillow than the one I got you?" he teased.

"The pillow is great, but you're even better." I replied.

As we looked up into the sky, we took turns pointing out the constellations that we could see, just simply being in the moment with each other's company. I couldn't imagine a better way to spend our anniversary, or a more perfect perfect person to spend it with.

[acesofspadess]

This Is The Voice

a/n: everyone needs some more Niall

summary: you're the mega mentor, and Niall doesn't know that

“This is the last knockouts ill ever get to coach and im really excited because our mega mentor this season is one of the greatest singers and people of all time.”

“Shes a legend in the industry.”

“She is an EGOT”

“So the mega mentor this season is……… Y/N L/N! Or Horan to Niall”

BLAKE

“Well this like a full circle moment for me. You were here as Adams advisor in the first season and now you are mega mentor in my last season.” blake looked down at 29 year old you who was reminiscing. “What does that say about our relationship.”

“That whenever you're here I lose.” you laughed at him as he shook his head. “You let yourself lose to an 18 year old Blake.” his eyes widdend at that, “Oh man, i forgot you were only 18. I feel so old. And now your married too.” he shook his not wanting to think about it any more.

—-----

KELLY

“You still havent seen Niall yet?” Kelly and you had a moment to chat before the artist came in. “no and I feel so bad. I've been super slow on my answers to his text. I just want to hold him.”

I've know Y/N since she was around 18, we got to perform together in Vegas almost 12 years ago.

“Im so glad it's Blake’s last season. Hes just had a very good vibe.” Kelly filled you on some behind the scenes.

“Oh thats good, he really can be a pain sometimes.

And I've also been able to work with her and tour with her and learn from her. Shes so young and has taught a lot of artist with singing and being on stage. I love that all these artist are gonna get that same experience today.

—---------

CHANCE

There was a knock on your dressing room door and you opened it to see Chance. “Y/N!” He cheered as he opened his arms up for a hug. You laughed and thanks the heavens you werent wearing heavy makeup as he was wearing white. 

Y/N… shes a legend in the industry. Grammy award winning artist.

“And when was the last time i saw you?” you laughed at his question. “Probably Grammy’s 2020…?” he shook his head, “how could i foget miss album of the year.

Her being a top tier artist for so long and having so many experiences is something that we could all grow from. 

After Chance had run down his artist for you, you waited for them to come in and laughed at whispers you heard. “Well hello there, I love your hair.” you told Nariella whose hair was similar to your ginger colour. “I actually got the idea from you.” you both laughed and whispered an ‘i like you already’. 

I just think its so amazing for her to be here and represent black women and girls. Shes definitely someone i look up to.

—---------

NIALL

It was finally time to see your love. Niall was supposed to be meeting Riley… but you didnt let that happen. You were facing the camera, your back facing the direction Niall would walk through. 

“Riley Tate-”

You turned around at the sound of his voice and he immediately stopped talking. “Hi love.” you  were smiling so hard at his reaction to seeing you before he scooped you up in a hug and twirled youn around.

“Why are you here- wait. Your da mega mentor?” his accent was thicker because of the surprise and you loved it. 

I mean to work with Y/N L/N the queen of pop… im getting goose bumps thinking about it now, its just amazing being in her presence 

Thats your wife Niall

Say it again 

“Well now that your here i was going to ask you if you wanted to come to a golf course with me.” Niall had his head on her shoulder and he could feel the laugh that came from her at his words.

Shes an absolute legend, and she teaches me something everyday, i cant wait for her to teach my team.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright love, Gina, shes really shy, reminds me of you when you came to write for the band.”

Niall laughed his beautiful laugh as you hid your face in your hands. “Don't remind me.”

“You might have to tell her to speak up.” you nodded at the information and were ready to see her. “And then she sings, and a different person comes out, a lot like you.” you cooed at his comparison seeing how much Gina meant to Niall.

“Now Kates kinda got the jazzy, Amy Winehouse-y vibe.” you ‘oo’ed’ at the information. “Lets see what they got.”

You watched as they walked around the corner and saw them subtly freak out at seeing you. You got up from your seat with the help of Niall(not that you needed it but he always held his hand out for you).

“Look who ive got!” Niall cheered from behind you as the girls gave you hugs.

I saw the ginger hair and Niall leaning on her and was like- please… ITS Y/N”

“How are you?” you asked hugging them both.

I was not expecting Y/N to be in the room with Niall. I was very starstruck.”

“Im gonna sing ‘somebody that i used to know’,” Gina shared her song and you marvelled at the softness of her voice. “Im very close to my dad, and he was a DJ and that was a song he always loved.”

“Thats beautiful Gina truly.”

Listening too her sing brought chills to your skin. 

You cheered as she finished and let Niall say what you know hes been holding in.  “And that sass that youve got this week.” Niall admired with a little laugh. “Really?” you loved how she went from this marvellous singer to this soft spoken girl. “I wasnt expecting that.” Gina thanked Niall before she looked at you and you shook your head.

“You gave me chills seriously, the only thing is ‘for lack of better wording’ understanding your words.” you watched as she took the advice and applauded her silently knowing if you were in her possician you would have certainly started crying.

“Yeah keep those words separate. Its very easy to go-” and you watched as he broke off his words in example. “You know what I mean. So give your self a bit of space.”

“I like that bub. I like that a lot.” 

You listened to him sing the words slowly and closed you eyes in sereness. “That staccato.” you pitched in. “her first audition to right now,” he looked at you threading his fingers with yours, “completley diffrent person.” you laughed softly squeezing his had. “I was just like you when i started, you can ask him.” he kissed your temple lightly in admiration, “she still is. Cant give her a compliment without her hiding away. Huh, beautiful?” you did as he knew you would and tucked your face into his neck. “See.” 

You turned your head to watch Gina and Kate play fight as theu swapped places. “I really wish you guys liked each other.” you joked sitting up properly. “I know so much hatred in here.” Niall joked back with you adjusting in his seat. “Its just awful.” Niall lost it, throwing his head back in laughter, letting you hear his laugh again. That would always be your favourite song. 

~~~

“Ooh we've got a guitar.” you saw the shaped guitar and immediately fell in love. “Its my baby.” Kate spoke. “Gonna have to get me self one just like that,” you all laughed before Niall looked at the gap between your seats and pulled your seat closer to his. You grabbed his hand and kissed it before looking back up at Kate. “what song are gonna sing love.” you asked as Niall sat back in his seat. “Im singing ‘Call Me’ by Blondie.”

“Oh lets hear it.” 

Kate had the stage presence of a lifetime. “Very good!” you clapped proudly. “Thank you.” you smiled as Niall began to speak. “My favourite parts are when its chilled.” You agreed with him softly as he continued to speak. “Dont stay with the-” Niall sang in a high pitch for example and you nodde your head. “Towards the end it gets a bit crashy for me. I wonder if there's a way of toning it down?” he looked to you for advice. “Tone down the crashing for more like ‘TOMS’ or something like that?” you offered and he took it. “Yeah so we can offer some more jazziness.” he agreed while drumming in the air, “you wanna come back up Gina?” You smiled widely hearing the softness and joy in his voice when he talked to her. “Im thrilled to pieces. I asked a really close friend of mine when were younger, who is now very successful, what is the best piece of advice you can give me. He said ‘have fun’. So i hope your having fun and getting to meet people that youll remain friends with forever.”

You watched Gina and Kate turn to each other and you hugged yourself. “Awwe that makes me so happy.” Niall grabbed your hand and held it in the air. “And one day you might marry them.” you all laughed before Niall spoke up again. “You're the best ladies.” you watched as they walked away and Niall rested his head on shoulder again. “I love you. You're amazing.”

“I love you too Ni.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````

Niall taglist:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

[chalk-prnce]

You sure we're out of their sight?

in which you can't admit that you like komaeda, let alone liking a boy. warnings ; internalised homophobia, breakdowns male reader x komaeda nagito

im so sorry for never posting! i forgot all about this account and focussed on my ao3 account! but im here now so, enjoy that "Car lights" fanfic i promised but a different title.

The sun had already set, a premature twilight settling over the horizon as you stared out with the entire universe on your shoulders. Perhaps you should be more glad to get away from the city for a bit, even if you were only about 20 minutes away. Your friends proposed to all go out tonight, but you refused. You can't function properly if you don't figure yourself out and quick.

Sand crunched under your shoes as you breathed a hissing intake of air- it wasn't the best day for you today. You had drove to the nearest sea shore after a long day of battling your own disgust to something you'd rather not name. Even labelling it was shameful but tempting. If you say it aloud, usually it confirms it in your mind. For example- saying how much you love watching shitty sitcoms that you found hilarious when you were about 10 at the age of 17 going on 18 kind of seals the deal on it. A verbal contract- a shameful confirmation. 

Your tank was about one fifth filled up, and you were running on fumes of hope that it would still be able to take you to the nearest gas station after you're finished brooding. Even after being here for what felt like days, you still hadn't been able to figure yourself out. What are you really even freaking out over? What is your problem? Your dilemma? 

Komaeda Nagito. 

About a couple months ago, you two had met in the library on not the most friendly terms. However over time, you somehow managed to look past it and you two kept coming back to that same spot in the same library. 

"..Pride and Prejudice.." The ivory boy mumbled, sitting beside you as he leaned against his elbow on the table. "..You've truly never read this before? It's such a famous piece of literary artwork. One of the most famous actually.. Makes sense that someone so painfully average like you wouldn't know that."

He talks so much to you for someone who despises the very precense of the Reserve Course. "...Shut up, of course I knew about it- I just never found it interesting so I blew off reading it." 

You both scoff at eachother before sliding the book into the middle of the table and read it together, pointing out small bits of the book every now and then. 

"..I'd never fall for someone like Mr Darcy.. So cold.. so cruel. Even for money- seriously! That'd fuck me up." 

"..Well- I'd assume you wouldn't fall for someone like him- he's a boy." He let out a small laugh through his sentence- pushing you out of your thoughts. You couldn't believe you let that slip. 

"Right- nah, I'm just saying y'know. If I was a girl and liked guys, I'd never choose him." A slight awkward silence ensues after that awful slip up from you. It's only after a whole chapter does Komaeda begin to speak again.

"Would you though?"

"Would I what?"

"..You know, date a boy?"

You fiddle with the corner of the pages, sucking on your teeth before breathing out a small string of words. "..Relationships are tiring." Is all you can pull out from your mouth before going back to reading. It was an nice way of getting out of the topic. You could've easily said no- but for some reason you remained vague. 

"..That's not answering my question. Are you seriously that incompetent?" He sneered before leaning his hand on the seat of your chair, his head lulled to the side of both of you. "..Don't answer that actually, I know you are that incompetent." It was hard to tell in that moment if Komaeda was against the idea of homosexuality or not- he was always mixed signals. You open your mouth to say something; but now he was much closer, you could feel that sultry voice vibrate down your ears, and so you close your mouth and stay silent. 

"..You've gone quiet. Are you truly that stumped by my question?" He hummed, chills now digging it's needles into your back. "..I suppose it is quite the hard question, even for an Ultimate it could stump them." That's a weird thing to say, especially from the suspicious implications. 

"..You talk too much. Just keep reading." Is all you breathe out before you flip the page over and Komaeda shifts back away from your chair. The moment ends.

But it wasn't even the fact that he was in a much higher position than you- a high standing pedestal than your excuse for being a "symbol".  Perhaps you're over reacting about the wrong thing. Komaeda had a reputation for despising all reserve course's to the core. A more filthier piece of trash than him (if that was possible in his mind.) The purest scum of the Earth. You should be running for life, and you would if you were in the most rational state of mind. But you're quite obviously not. He's going to eat you alive but god you wonder how it'd be if you did so first. Laying back onto the hood of your car, you shriek out a loud groan and grip at your hair in frustration. You don't know exactly why you're so stressed over him, someone who's merely a friend. Barely, actually- more like civil accquantainces who had common interests and that was all. He despised being seen in public with you; if his classmates ever walked into the library whilst you two were there, he would quickly but quietly shuffle to another nearby table. 

In the earlier months of your accquantainceship, you would've scoffed and insulted him after they left. But now, you simply look at them crowd around as they ask how Komaeda is before leaving. You felt like a frog amongst swans, something so dirty and unfitting to be with.

Silver glints of the moon fracture over the tides, the serene scenery surrounding you was ethereal, a song for the eyes. You've been here for about 5 hours, sitting in different positions all whilst rubbing your temples or banging your forehead onto your knees. It's getting harder to ignore this, to ignore him. Why are you here? You want to go home, but it feels like an obligation to stay and sort this out before you begin to lose your head. You'd honestly rather cut off your wings so that you can not fly into the sun but rather fall into the mighty blue beasts teeth than confront these ghastly thoughts of yours. Komaeda, Komaeda, Komaeda. You've never felt more stress over a name such as his. You should be cast to the wolves for these thoughts. But what thoughts? Your head does not contain blasphemies and your mouth has not committed any heresies. So why are you so troubled? Perhaps you do know, but if you even dare mention it you'd finally commit said heresy you so very feared. You can't say it. You won't dare think it. You refuse. You won't do it. 

But you can't stop- you've already done it. You imagine how perfectly your arms would fit around him, how easily your hands could mold together and your eyes would easily find the pearls of the deep dark in eachother's irises, how wonderfully your lips would fit like a jigsaw. 

You can't remember exactly how you became enamoured by him. Perhaps it was when you accidentally let your stare linger longer than you intended. That day, Komaeda brought in a book that you could only find via an online bookstore due to it being quite a strange piece. Turns out, he was absolutely infatuated with it, and rambling about it came easy to him.

"..The Book Of Disquiet is quite the interesting read- it was never finished, but it's easy to get how the book ends. The heteronyms that Pessoa created for it was intentionally made to be...boring. I've done alot of research on him- he really delves into the whole "Terrible Paradox of Self Awareness" topic- noting to the reader that writing and doing and saying is all completely meaningless yet continues to write, do and say things." The Lucky Student trails off, flicking back and forth to pages of his notes page he did on the portugese author, explaining and going through each little bit. 

You absorbed it in like a sponge- his voice was calming and his eyes were soft as he looked at the pages like it was a puppy. His hair was falling perfectly down his face and spilling onto his shoulders, his eyes shining with a glimmer you've only seen in the stars. Komaeda's beauty could never be put to justice through photos. Not even paintings could immortalise his visage- a night sky within his eyes and the sun within his soul. It was as if you were in an trance. There was a subtle breeze in your imagination as you stared- that was until you realised that was because Komaeda was waving his hand infront of your face.

"..Hello? Are you alright?" That was a first. He doesn't ask that often. "..You seem pretty out of it. It is quite warm in here.."

"..No. I'm fine. Keep reading." And the moment ends.

In your dreams, you described it as simple infatuation, but in reality it was not as airy and feather-light as that. In your nightmares, you described it as a deadly desire, but in reality it was not as short-lived and capricious as that. But to call it anything else in your own conscious mind? You'd rather be ripped from your organs.

But you don't want to keep thinking about it. You don't think you can do it any longer in this swealtering heat of the night. It was humid, but it barely felt like any air was being circulated around the Earth. One last sigh leaves you before you get up from your indented place in the sand and wander off to your car. It was an alright car, not the best and it was used by alot of past owners but it was the best you could get at your age. You pull out your keys and make sure to shake and jingle them a bit just so you can hear the clacking against them, hoping it'd snap you out of whatever this was. Opening the door and slamming it once you're inside, you push your keys into the engine and twist. Your car moans and groans several times, and you could've sworn you felt your heart shoot down to your gut. Your repeated attempts to twist your keys and turn on the engine are almost ridiculed by the curdling screams of the exhaust. Oh, come on. How did this happen? You take great care of your car! Not a single scrape or dent or even a mere collision with any other vehicle. What happened?

Ah. Right. Your tank- it was only one fifth full. Shit.

Well, now you're stuck at this beach with more rocks than grains of sand. His luck is rubbing off on you. Great, there you go again! You always just have to find some way to mention his name even in the most dire situations. What's wrong with you? A loud bang clanks against the hood of your car from the hail that was now pouring down, mocking you as you replicate those bangs onto your steering wheel from your forehead. Atleast you had shelter from it. But you had no money to call a repair work, and almost all of your friends were out for tonight. Oh, but who else is in your contacts that IS free? 

Komaeda Nagito.

You fully groan at his name, your hands dragging the skin of your face up and down. Do you really have to resort to this? It's either him or you stay in the hail with your car as shelter on a school night. God, and who knows how many assignments you probably have to do right now? You feel like crying. You end up crying. 

Hot blobs of salt run down your cheeks as you feel the overwhelming sense of dread. Nothing was going right for you today, nothing at all. Your bones feel heavy in your skin, your eyes straining to keep up with the amount of tears leaving you. Your car has no gas, it's hailing loudly and you're caught between the tides of pain and rapture as you stare at his contact on your phone. You hadn't even figured out the reason of why you are here. Maybe that's for the best. It'd be more awkward to face Komaeda if you had figured it out- but does that mean you most likely know what's wrong with you then? Are you in denial?

"...Hello?" His gravally voice seeps through the audio output.

"..Komaeda, can you come pick me up? My car broke down at the beach- I can't get home and I have no money to call repair services." Your voice is cracking and crumbling as you call, your hands occupied with either your phone or holding the wheel. All you hear is a groan that interrupts a 5 second silence. "..Please- after this I'll never call again, I promise-" All you hear is a beep. He hung up. What did you expect? Why would he ever come and help someone as pathetic as you?

You fall back into your seat, hands dragging your face again before you grumble to yourself under your breath. Why do you care so much? His attention burns your skin and his precense warms your nerves. You could practically melt at the thought of him. This isn't right. It just isn't right at all. It's disgusting, it should be illegal to feel like this for another man. You feel ashamed like you've committed murder. Being burnt at the stake would be a worthy punishment for this. Oh but the more you deny and refute this, refute him, the more you can't push these feelings down. It's all you're thinking about. 

So now you're stuck here and potentially broken what little bit of friendship you had with Komaeda. Great work. Aren't you just the most intelligent man alive? 

You huff it out in large and saltier blobs of misery, soon letting your exhausted eyes fall heavy. You're sitting in your car, hail now slowing as you drift off into probably one of the modt uncomfortable positions possible. In your dreams you envision a timeline where perhaps one of you were a girl instead, and loving eachother wouldn't need to be so compromising. Or perhaps a timeline where loving another boy wouldn't be compromising.

Soon enough, you're awoken by loud thuds and thumps against your window, you can barely make out what it is banging your window due to how much more the rain was pouring down now. A loud groan leaves your throat before you roll down the window, and your eyes finally open fully. That frizzy tuff of white cotten, now flattened by the rain is all too familiar for you. You stare at it. But not at his eyes.

Komaeda Nagito.

You both stare at eachother, stoic yet painful words were folded into the corners of eachother's eyes. It's been about 10 seconds you've been staring at eachother through your car window.

"..."

"..You truly are so incompetent, aren't you?"

What?

"..Driving all this way and you didn't even think to fill up your tank. On top of that, you call me of all people to solve this pathetic problem of yours and you're not even going to say a thing to me when I arrive."

He came here? But he hung up?

"..Are you blind? Are you deaf? Hello??" Komaeda sneers at you, grimacing at you. It's hard to see eachother through the rain.

"...you came."

He shuts up at that, and despite the rain, you can see his eyes soften. "..I did. You called me, you sounded.. stressed. So I came." But why?

"..I don't why I did. It was like I needed to. It doesn't make sense." He sighs before looking away. You narrow your eyes slightly, softening them too before you get out of your car and closing the door behind you, leaning against the soaked metal.

At this point, the only source of light came from your car lights, blaring from it's home to display all the droplets of rain that passed it. "..What happened?" His voice was quieter than quiet. Despite the rain being louder, you could only hear him. "..You don't usually go out so late. I thought your friends invited you out?"

"..You paid attention to that?" He nods. "I just needed to figure something out." He hums.

"..Well, have you?" You shake your head.

"..Maybe I can help. What is it you're troubling yourself with?" You huff.

Both of you wander over to the hood of your car, sitting ontop of it. "I can't tell you. I'd honestly rather die than do so. You'd rip me to shreds."

"What? Are you striving to become an Ultimate or something? It couldn't be that bad." You scoff and lay back onto your hood.

"..Remember that conversation we had a couple weeks back? You asked if I'd ever.."

"..Date a boy?" You nod. "..What about it?"

It takes a lot of courage to continue this conversation. "..What would.. what do you- think? Would you ever date one?" He shrugs. "Probably. Why? What does this have to do with anything?" How dense can someone be?

But that gives you a little something. He might. 

"..Put two and two together you fucking moron." At this point, you're getting tired of running away. Your feet are calloused with how much you've ran away from this problem of yours. You need to decide it now.

You glance over at his face and you see no malice in his visage. Perhaps he isn't here to taunt you. He's probably trying to understand what you meant. "..Ah." Is all he says before laying back onto the hood with you. "Whatever you decide for that, despite how..painfully filthy you are... I'll support you." 

He heaves alot during that sentence. Maybe it's due to the rain or maybe it just took too much out of him to try to be nice to you. You both look up, squinting through the rain. "..How long have you been out here?"

"..About.. 8 hours..? I don't know. I needed to find some space." Komaeda hums in agreement as he combs his strands back. "Fair enough. But you might catch a cold." That's new. "Since when did you care, Main course?" You could just about hear the small chuckle under his breath.

This all felt like some strange peace treaty between you two. It was no longer insults but rather it felt like light-hearted jokes. Like you two had known each other forever. "Would you rather me let you out to die from pneumonia?" You laugh and shake your head. Your laughter simmers down and you both look at each other, you hadn't looked at him for the entire time. Looking at him almost made you sob. You don't know if you can do this.

"So... what made you start... thinking of this whole liking boys thing?" He asks with a careful tone, talking to you at this moment felt like a delicate activity. You can't tell him that. You just shrug.

"So you pull me all the way out here, just so we can lay in the rain on your hood?" You smile at that but you shake your head. "..I don't think I can tell you why. I don't want to ruin this." You gesture to the little space between you two. "It's taken me so long to just say I potentially like...boys. I feel like I should be atoning for this."

"No shame in liking guys. You don't need to tell me why then," You thank him with your silence, ", Any guys you like right now though?" You slap his shoulder and he puts both hands up in the air with a smirk. "What? It's a genuine question!"

Eyes roll as you simply return to looking up at the crying sky. "Perhaps. Do you?" He shrugs. "Perhaps."

"You can't just copy my answer. Give me something here."

"You're not giving me a thing here. How about we both give small hints?" It's a good idea and so you agree. "Hair colour?" God that is the worst question. He'll easily tell who it is then. "That's way too obvious!" A small huff leaves him before he goes back to thinking. "Hm, fine.. which course is he in?"

The thing is, you don't know anyone else in the Main Course other than him and Kazuichi. He was your neighbour for a long time and you two grew close as friends. But he didn't know that, did he? "..Main Course." You awaited a scoff or a remark of how you don't deserve to love anyone from the Main Course, but he just hums.

"..Would you like to know mine?"

It almost takes your entire being to not say yes so eagerly. He clicks his tongue in amusement.

"..Reserve."

There's a strange casual coolness in his voice, as if he hadn't just said something that completely shook you to your roots and make you question everything about him. This contradicted everything about him! What kind of weird enemies-to-lovers experience did he have?

"..Shocking, I know. Seems like we're in similar situations, unfortunately." Komaeda remarks, however he has a smirk on his face that gives you a bad feeling that he knows. Maybe you should give in to defeat.

"..Don't you hate us? Why would you ever want to love one of us?" Your inquiry is the one to make him finally scoff. "..I never wanted to. But I had to accept it soon enough, I have enough things to eat away at me. I didn't need another." It felt slightly insulting but you got it. It was exactly like you and this gay situation. "..That's...fair enough. When did you finally accept it?"

"..About.. A month or two ago? I had let it waste away at me for about.. 4 months." 6 months. You've known him for 6 months.

"..Wow.. You've been in love with some dude ever since the day we met and you didn't bother to tell me? I'm honestly betrayed, Komaeda."

"Well I didn't exactly see you as a friend back then, did I?" That caught you off guard. "So that means you see me as a friend now?"

"Perhaps." That leaves a smile on your face.

You two stay out on your hood for another 5 minutes. It's getting cold. It's very late.

"..You figured it out yet?" His voice sounds less sultry, now it was more careful and smooth. You shrug.

Over the course of 5 minutes, 2 things went through your head. Should you just give in to defeat and tell him and potentially ruin everything or should you just say no and just get him to drive you two home and send a service for your car later? The latter sounds tempting. It's such a cursed mindset- it felt like a fruit from a poisonous tree. Your thoughts were fickle between the decisions of defeat and stubborness. All your troubling thoughts brutally clawed at your face and brain, infecting it like your brain was filled with scorpions. Your tolerance was beginning to simmer and sizzle. Perhaps you thought about it too much. Maybe you're overthinking. What if you gave in to defeat and he rejects you? It was all for nothing. But he doesn't owe you that affection just because you came out to him within the same day. Why can't you decide? Why won't you hurry up? Why, why, why?-

Your thoughts silence. His lemon grass eyelashes fluttered at you like rare butterflies in the spring morning. You take one more breath.

"I like a boy from the Main Course. I can.. confirm that now. I'm not the most.. okay with that fact but.. I can't let it eat me away aswell." You smile weakly at him. Looking into Komaeda's eyes, you can see glints of a smile in them. He seems proud of you.

"But I... uh.. don't think he likes me back." He cocks his head slightly to the side. "Why do you say that?" This might also give it away.

But your rational reasoning had been long gone from your brain ever since you started crying and screaming on a beach in a broken down car.

"He doesn't exactly like Reserves." You cover your mouth to giggle as if you just told someone the dumbest secret ever. His eyebrow raises at you. "Oh?"

Oh.

Shit.

"..Aha.. Ahhhhh... Yeah. What about your Reserve Crush? Does he like Main Courses?"

"No. He always scoffs when he sees me."

"I would too." You already do.

"Why wouldn't he like you though? Despite how painfully average you are... You're quite stunning in the moonlight. And somehow you're able to make me laugh everyday." You are quite the comedic genius.

"Because I'm no Ultimate. I've heard the way he talks about the Ultimates and I'm never going to live up to that. I wish I could. I always wonder if I'm ever going to."

"Maybe he's let go of that aspect of hatred from you." He suggests, looking over at you. "..Maybe he sees you as something even more." It's your turn to raise an eyebrow. "..How would you know that?"

"My luck is that of the stars. I might be right." Komaeda winks before staring deeper into your eyes.

"My troubles lie exactly with if he'll like me or not right now, and supposedly your luck will help me?" He shrugs. You two have become ever so much more closer on your hood, sitting upright. You two haven't made this long of eye-contact ever. You two haven't made this type of contact ever either. He's beautiful. You can feel his cold breath against you.

Over the course of your time together on your car with raining weeping onto you, Komaeda came closer for warmth and you came closer to try and hear his small tone. It's only become more apparent of how little space there was between you two. You have a strange feeling on where this is going with how close he is becoming.

"Are you scared?" You nod slightly. He probably noticed your eyes shake between his lips and the surroundings and back to his eyes.

"I feel like someone will see us."

"Through the car lights? I doubt it. Do you still want to deny yourself this? I can stop if you want." He backs away slightly as a demonstration, but you catch his shoulders and shake your head. "...There is nothing to run from. I'm not scared. I only have one more worry on my mind but... it's nothing you should be concerned about." And he smiles.

"Would you..let me answer your troubles?"

You're unsure of what he means, however you aren't given much of a chance to question him. You feel a cold pair of lips press against yours, and you feel complete. You two complete eachother, knocking their air out of eachothers lungs as you hold hands and kiss on your hood. "..Don't let them see my face." Is all you mumble through your muffled lips as you two, push eachother up against the car, holding eachother like life lines. "I don't know how to be without you." Komaeda mumbles back, digging his nimble hands into your hair.

It feels like fireworks as you finally break away and look at eachother. Your finger tips slowly trace to his knuckles, holding his hand tightly as you two continue to watch the tides rise and retreat.

"...Would.. would you.. like to go back now?" You nod. You two get off of the vehicle and enter Komaeda's. You leave with smiles and blushes between a silence.

The rain stopped at that very second.