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#i fucking hate being insecure i hate it i dont wanna be like this
rosenclaws · 3 days
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obsessed with your ex || Worst!Logan Howlett smut
summary: In his world you were his wife and he loved you and then you died. In this world you're his girlfriend and he loves you. At least you think he does. Still you can't help the voice in the back of your head telling you that you're nothing but a sad replacement.
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI!! 18+ ONLY. insecure + jealous!reader, a very very toxic mindset, the reader's mind is very mean to her, reader is a mutant that can make objects disappear, angst, happy ending, rough sex, riding, french kissing, oral (f!receiving), a slight breakdown, soft sex, missionary, Logan is kinda a softie, cockwarming, fingering.
wc: 2.5k
a/n: Okay so it's here!! I need to make this clear that the readers mindset is NOT healthy and that relationships need good communication. That being said here's my fic idea that I've been thinking about for a bit. I love Olivia Rodrigo sm (I even saw her in concert!!) and this song was just begging to be written into a fic. Anyways I really hope you like it and that it's not too insane lmao. Also i made the graphic but i kinda hate it but i dont wanna change it so here we are I know it's ugly but its FINE
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How long have you been here? Staring. Observing every little thing about you. Your nose, your eyes, your lips, your hair, your chin. The way your arms fall by your sides. Every. Little. Detail.
Did she have the same colored eyes? Did she talk like you? Was she smart? Was she powerful? Did he look at her the same way? Did he fuck her like he fucks you?
You clench your fists as you stare angrily at the mirror. He loves you. He says he loves you and yet it feels like you can never compare to her. She was the love of his life. She was an X-Men. She died. She was you. You're his dead fucking wife in his universe while you were nothing to the Logan in this one. 
He looked at you like a kicked puppy that first day you met. A lost little pet that had been searching for its owner. Dragged through hell and back just to get to you. It was easy to fall for him. Handsome, a little rough around the edges. You hadn’t even been dating for that long but it didn’t matter right? He worshiped you. He loved you. He promised he loved you.
But sometimes in the back of your head you wonder if when he's kissing you, does he imagine her? Does he close his eyes while he's pounding into you and imagine it's her? How could you ever compete? She was perfect, she was kind, she was everything to him. Spiraling deeper and deeper into a whirlpool of doubt and envy. There's a heavy pounding on the door but you choose to ignore it. Too wrapped up in your twisted mind to care. 
"Sweetheart, let me in." Logan's gruff voice was slightly muffled by the door. 
You clench your jaw as you finally tear your eyes away from the mirror. You slam open the door taking Logan by surprise. His eyes scan yours for injury, a worried look in his face as he steps into the bathroom. 
"I got worried, you were in here a long time." His arms wrap around your waist. 
He's looking at you with pity. At least that's what your brain tells you. Was he worried that you were hurt because he loves you or because he was thinking of her death again? You know he still dreams of her. He can hide it when he's awake but the nightmares don't lie. It hurts so bad. Love me. Love me. You're jealous you know. She's dead, she's gone. So why can't he love you. You push him off and storm out the bathroom. Nothing makes sense anymore in your head. 
"What the fuck?" Logan follows you and you feel yourself tensing up. 
It's a miracle your powers haven't started to go haywire yet. So many different emotions swirl around in your head until it mixes together to form one single feeling.
Need.
You grab Logan's shirt and pull him into you. Smashing your lips onto his with a hunger that you've never felt before. Logan hisses as you bite his bottom lip harshly but you don't give him time to say anything as you slip your tongue into his mouth. He groans as he starts to take some control back. Hands slipping up your shirt and ripping to shreds with ease.
You pull back from his lips, chest heaving for air as you paw at his shirt. Silently demanding he take it off which he happily does. Your lips are back onto his in an instant. He slowly walks you back until you fall onto the bed. You fall onto the bed and lick your lips. The bugle in his pants is evident as you flick your hand and the belt disappears. 
"I liked that belt." You pay no mind to his comment as you unbutton his jeans and pull them down, leaving him in his boxers. 
"Easy there sweetheart," Logan pushes you back gently and crawls on top of you. Logan kisses down your chest, teasing each nipple with his tongue. 
"Let me take my time." He purrs.
His hands touch and squeeze your breasts roughly making you whine. You watch his arms move, god he's so hot. He's close to making you forget. He kisses down, down, all the way down. He sneaks out the tip of his claws to pop open the button of your pants and he yanks them down until they're all the way off.
"There she is, my perfect girl." His girl. That's right your his girl. No one else's.
Logan pulls your panties to the side as he situates himself between your legs. He stuffs his face without shame, licking hungrily and practically moaning at the taste. You arch your back as Logan devours you. Watching his back muscles move are mesmerizing. He's yours. He loves you. He promises he does.
You can't stop the thoughts that begin to invade you. Overwhelmed by pleasure from Logan and pain from the horrible ideas that pop into your head. Did he do this with her too? Did he worship her? Do you taste like her? Is that why he can't get enough? 
"Fuck!" You hiss as you sit up and tell Logan to stop. He does immediately, wondering what the hell is going on. 
"Can't fucking wait." You scratch down his chest with your nails. He groans and tries to crawl on top of you but you shake your head. 
"I'm going to ride you until you can't come anymore." You growl.
You bite his shoulder harshly making him hiss. It heals right up much to your dismay. How badly you wish you could mark him. You make his boxers disappear but before he can make a smart comment you sink down on him all the way. You whimper as you start to bounce on his cock. Loving how much he fills you.
You need to be fucked stupid. You're desperate for Logan to fuck every bad thought out of your head. To promise that he loves you so that you can believe him. You want to believe him. Please, you have to believe him. 
"Sweetheart." Logan's breath is labored as you relentlessly fuck yourself on his cock. You feel so damn good but fuck he can tell something is on your mind. 
"What do you need, let me help you." He sits up on his hands, placing one on your back as he tries to get you to slow down. His words make you want to scream. What do you need? You look at him and the only thing your rotten brain can tell you is that he is thinking of her. 
"I need you to fucking love me!" You yell.
The dam of built up feelings breaks down as tears pour out of your eyes. Ugly, horrible sobs that make your body shake. Logan watches with horror in his eyes as he stills your hips, using his strength to lift you off of him as you continue to cry. 
"I do love you." He says softly but you shake your head. 
"No!" You shout. You pound your fist against Logan's chest over and over again but he barely moves. 
"You love her! I know you do." Logan's heart breaks at the sound of your sobs. 
"I'm not your dead fucking wife Logan!" You should regret the words coming out of your mouth but you can't stop them. 
"You look at me and you see her. Like I'm just some fucking placeholder!" You let out an anguished scream as Logan captures your wrists in his hands. You know the stories. She was a hero, she was perfect in every single way. 
"How can I compete with, with her?" You say completely defeated.
Your head falls against his chest. There's a sense of relief that washes over you. Thoughts that have plagued you for months are finally out in the open. Yet the fear of what comes next overtakes any other feeling.
"Look at me." Logan tilts your head up but you push his hand away. 
"Sweetheart." He sighs and lets go of your face.
Logan's never been good at this. Talking. Being vulnerable. Then he lost everything and he hardened even more and he just. This was a new chance at life and even though it's hard he can't lose it all again. 
"I know you're not her. Of course I do." Logan presses his forehead against yours, trying to get you to look at him. 
"You loved her..." You croak out. 
"I did love her. She was my wife. But I love you too. In a different way." He's a different man. Having gone through tremendous loss. It shaped him into who he is now. 
"You're different people. Your powers act differently, you talk differently, you feel different. You are not a replacement." He says firmly. 
When you finally look at him he feels this horrible pit in his stomach. He wipes away your tears but doesn't make any other move. It's not the right time.
"Would you have even given me a second thought? If I didn't look like her?" You ask, that question has haunted you for a while now but you never asked, too afraid of the answer. Logan is silent, unsure of how to answer. 
"When I first saw you it was like a punch in the face." He starts. "For a moment I was 20 years in the past. Then I snapped out of it. You look like her, yes but you’re not her.” He gently traces a small scar on your jaw that you got when you were a child. 
“I’m not the same as your Logan right? He was a leader, a hero and I was an angry drunk murderer.” 
“I’m not gonna start listing all your fucking differences sweetheart, but I swear on my life that I love you for you.” He pulls you into a tight hug as you start to cry again. You cling onto him as tight as you can. The bad thoughts don’t just stop, even if you want them to but Logans whispering sweet words in your ear. Pushing out every bad thought for now.
“Logan,” You take a deep breath, letting Logan invade all your senses. Tobacco and whiskey. 
“I need you.” He’s hesitant, not sure if it’s the right time.
“Please, I just need you.”
“Okay sweetheart, you have me.” He slowly rolls you over and lays you on your back.
He captures your lips into a kiss. His hips rolling slowly making you moan softly. His lips drift from your lips to the corner of your mouth to your cheek, trailing down. Each one so gentle, so full of love.
“You have this spot, righttt here.” Logan nibbles on your neck and you gasp when bites right at this spot that drives you wild. You melt into the mattress as he kisses over it.
“Always makes you relax.” He crawls lower, kissing down your body. He sits up on his knees and grabs a pillow to place under your back.
“I know you like to be slightly elevated because it means I can go just a little deeper.” He purrs as he takes his cock in his hands and gently rubs the tip of it along your folds. He slides two fingers into your cunt slowly.
“Know that my fingers drive you absolutely wild, that you need me to go slow to start.” You nod absentmindedly.
You never realized he picked up on all these things. His fingers start to slide in smoother, your cunt getting wetter for him. He leans down and takes a deep breath, groaning at the scent. He slips them out and licks them clean.
“Relax sweetheart,” He spreads your thighs and slips in all the way. Going slow but unrelenting, stretching you just how you like.
“So impatient, you never let me take it easy on you right? Just wanna be full all the time.” He leans down on his elbows as he rolls his hips nice and slow.
There will be no rough sex this time, this is about love. To show you that he truly does love you for you.
“Look at me,” He tilts your head so that your eyes meet. He smiles at the desperate look on your face.
“You can pretend it makes you all embarrassed, but I know you like eye contact.” He hums as he angles his hips so that he hits that perfect spot.
You jolt as pleasure rocks through your whole body but he keeps you under him. He’s slowly and methodically tearing you apart. Every touch, every word out of his mouth just makes it better. He knows. Of course he does.
“I love you Logan.” Your hands cup his face as you stare into his hazel eyes.
This time not filled with lust, but with a true deep love. He looks at you like you’re everything.
“I love you too.” He kisses you as he starts to pick up the pace of his thrusts. He smirks as he feels you start to squirm under him. You could never help it when you were close.
“Come on sweetheart, just let go.” He whispers in your ear.
His deep voice paired with the unrelenting feeling of his cock is all it takes. He holds you in his firm arms as a warm and wonderful tingling sensation runs through your whole body. A blissful smile on your face as you tilt your head back.
You feel your whole body relax as your mind calms. Logan tries to hide his growls as he fucks into you a little faster, until he’s coming hard and deep inside of you. He sighs in contentment as he stays inside of you. He taps your cheek lightly and you look up at him.
“I love you. No one else. Just you.” He moves to pull out but you whine. You need to be close to him right now. He chuckles as he slowly moves to your side. Spooning you tightly with his cock still deep inside of you.
“Can we talk?” You ask shyly.
“About what?” Logan grunts as he pulls you as close as he can get you.
“Anything?” He’s not much of a talker so he asks the questions instead.
How did you discover your powers? How did you meet wade? Just anything and everything and you tell him.
You talk for who knows how long. Staying wrapped in each other's arms. It helps, it really does. Logan listens, he really does listen. He wants to get to know you. He loves you. You rest your head on his chest, tracing shapes into his palm as you talk.
For the first time in a while your mind seems to settle. Ignoring any thought that may try and ruin your mood. It’s just you and him right now. There’s no looming figure of your alternate selves, not anymore.
Just you and Logan. Forever.
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endyark · 5 months
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im tempted to make a massive vent post but idk if that's a good idea
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skunkg1rll · 10 days
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so now im sure she is the one who has been sending me anon hate about me being ugly.... 💀
#she said things like oh i would never send anon hate to anyone!!!#but ig ppl just say anything and then do it anyway 💀#ppl will just lie and pretend to be your friend to then use your insecurities against u#if she acted like a grown up and talked to me i wouldve listened#but that wouldve required her to listen to me tooand not just judge me#and ig she couldnt do that#so she took the easy route#like if i explained to her that yeah i felt abandoned by u bc u just stopped talking to me as soon as u got a bf#and then i kept talking to that guy bc of these reasons where i wanted to see if i could pick up on signs#bc being abused by my bf is one of my biggest fears i have#and she wouldve said iget that but i still feel uncomfortable. then i couldve listened to hger and decided if i wanted to keep making her#uncomfortable and hurt her or just stop. but she didnt say anything or try to communicate or listen#and now to see what a fucking shallow narrow minded view she has#is frustrating bc she hadnt even tried to talk or understand or communicate or explain her side#which is like ok that sucks but whatever i will just let it go#but then she keeps sending me hate abt what i confided to her abt and talk shit abt me and it is like#can u just let it go#just stop everything. lets just pretend we have never known eo or talked at all#anyway ig i dont wanna be friend w a woman who invalidates founded fears#like shes just the kind of woman who would tell her friends that#oh yeah your bf hit u just bc he loves u stop complaining!!#so ig this is good either way but like. ig she just assumes i was flirting behind her back#bc she cant comprehend a woman only being friendly with a guy#and like i didnt keep telling that guy im already in love w someone lmao 💀💀#gosh...disappointing. people are so disappointing#and childish and shallow and narrow minded. yikes
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sorrowfulwill · 1 year
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i need a better idea thinker
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bixiaoshi · 2 years
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#im sorry im getting feelings again#i was going to say i dont like being in tune w my feelings but. am i rlly LMAO#im not. im not rlly i dont recognize them i cant rlly name them outside of the main 3#all i know is that wanting smth usually leads to sadness bcs. when will it be my turn. will i EVER get my turn#and rn i want smth so bad which ik will turn into smth bad. sigh#and wanting smth im not sure i will ever get leads me to feeling im wasting my time bcs the things i can do now r very limited and outside#of that i cant rlly do shit. like. i rlly cant and it takes me to self-doubt. it makes me question myself#and i hate questioning myself bcs im not sure about a THING. is it the right path am i doing things right#and i dont know!!!!!! i dont know!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know if i made the right decision of dropping out. i dont know if it was the right#choice to start a new major. in a new university. im not sure#and it makes me insecure bcs what if i was wrong what if im doing things wrong what if i didnt do the right thing#idk man. this path has been so lonely and i know i keep repeating myself i just have to wait to do things i want but what if i dont get it#< see i said feeling things usually take the wrong turn#this isn't very silly goofy of me im sorry#i just gotta be my own comedic relief or i will go absolutely fucking insane#idk man. i just wanna feel like i made the right decision and that im doing things for my own good without doubting myself#i wanna feel secure in life and i want to feel proud of me but on the mean time im just gonna live through ppl feeling proud of me#and im gonna live ignoring every single feeling bcs i dont like feeling them at all and im gonna keep protecting myself getting attached to#fictional stories and such#jo.txt#if someone read til here im sorry for the thoughts and stuff i will go back to being silly goofy rn 👍
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tumbasenalma · 8 months
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think the main reason i want to come back so bad is so i can finally leave behind this version of myself i built off of lies and lies and lies
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huellitaa · 8 months
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𓏲˳˚⊹ 🧸 become obsessed with yourself.
you are stupid. i said it. there. you are stupid.
let me get this straight. you are out here listening to these people who make you insecure. you are listening and actually giving a shit about people who put you down, make you feel unworthy, inferior, less of the absolute goddess that you are. you people please, you go above and beyond to help people & change yourself for people who would never do the same and for what. for people to like you? honey nobodys gonna like you. you dont even like yourself.
listen ml you need to get your priorities straight. sit down for a sec. like. just sit and genuinely ask yourself "what do i get out of this? how does this serve me?". go on, ask yourself. all these people who constantly think theyre better than you, that they can walk all over you, the ones that dont care a bit for you with their actions even if their words say otherwise, all these habits that only make you feel more low, more insecure, and dont align with where you wanna go in any way, shape or form. honey how in the hell does any of this serve you ???😭😭
i am sick to death of seeing the word selfish everywhere the moment somebody steps up and is brave enough to try and better themselves. the amount of times ive gotten "youre so selfish" or "youve changed" or "you werent like this before" jst because i got out of the most severe depression of my life where i came close to being unalive so many times is riDICULOUS and just shows how normalised insecurity and people pleasing is nowadays.
you see, people are always trying to follow the trend, follow the leader, follow everyone else nowadays. nobody actually honours what they want & that is a reflection of their own insecurity and traumas and emotions they are too scared to face. do you really want that for yourself? youve got such big dreams, such big potential, but what on earth do you do to fulfill them?
i dont think you realise just how limitless you actually are. you can do anything. we are all born the same. its only those with the courage to get up and try who will reach what they want and achieve greater things.
GET OBSESSED WITH YOURSELF. i am so DRAINED and TIRED of caring about what people think. i like something? im gonna do it. i dont care. fuck people pleasing. what are they gonna do when youre rich and famous and successful and thriving? YOU ARE THE ONLY VALIDATION YOU NEED. life is so much easier when you genuinely could not care less, like you just dont give a single shit. you are the only person who knows you inside out and will be there with you 24/7 365. it infuriates me how self hatred is so normalised nowadays. like what the actual fuck, why would you wanna spend your entire life hating the only person whos gonna be with you every second without fail, when you are perfectly capable of reversing that???? its ridiculous.
get up. get obsessed with yourself. the only validation you should be chasing is your own. pull yourself together girl. this is ridiculous. you are so much more than this. start acting like it. be ur own biggest fan. be ur own bestest friend. everything you need is already within you. u got this. 💕
all my love 💓✨💗💘🎀💖
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kiwiikato · 2 months
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Ken sato brainrot is real and im here for that, i saw that request are open, and i want to make one if thats okay? Bassically hcs o of kenji with a high school friend reader that is a very shy/meek person, they where inseparable as kids and kenji was always very protective of reader, even in their high school years when reader started dating a very cuestionable guy that ended up being a cheater with her toxic ex best friend(that send her a lot of hatefull texts and calls with threats and slut shaming comments bc she wanted to date her boyfriend), due this reader moved on to japan when she and kenji where teenagers and they keep contact by texts and zoom calls.
When kenji comes to japan is determinate to make reader officially his girl, it can include headcanons of them as a couple!
If this is to much you are free to not do this request! I dont wanna bother you
masterlist
this is my first time doing a headcannon ever so i hope you like this! <3 it was honestly really fun writing! thank you for waiting! sorry if it’s not what you expect but i hope you still enjoy >:3
kenji sato headcannons!
kenji who was excited to find out that you lived in japan when he moved back
kenji who couldn’t help but want to protect you the same way he did before you left the states
kenji who watches you keep to yourself, scared of attachments
kenji who feels bad for you, knowing the hate you experienced for trusting someone
kenji who invites you to watch movies with him just to be closer with you
kenji who goes along with you wanting to go to the park to be more childlike
kenji who ends up growing a plush collection cause of your gifts
kenji who finally admits to himself that he wants to love you after seeing the way you smile at him
kenji who ends up daydreaming about all the cute stuff you’d do together if you were his
kenji who is absolutely surprised when you silently confess to him while sitting in silence
kenji who ends up panicking internally since he wanted to confess to you
kenji who gives you a peck and runs out of the house
kenji whose gone for about fifteen minutes, only to burst through the door with your favorite flowers, balloons, and a plushie of your favorite animal
kenji who panics seeing you slightly sad since you thought he ran away from you, not for you
kenji who quickly pulls you into his arms and comforts you while rubbing your back
kenji who confesses his feelings, telling you every moment he found himself admiring you since you were children
kenji couple headcannons!
kenji who hums you to sleep every night while your head lays on his chest
kenji who gets you a bouquet of flowers every two weeks, or till the recent one he got you starts to wilt
kenji who absolutely spoils you with compliments
kenji who gives the best reassurance while holding you, making sure to ease every insecure thought
kenji who kisses your whole body while saying why he loves each part
kenji who loves the way you cook food, always asking for more
kenji who introduces you to his dad, absolutely proud of being with you
kenji who calls you pet names like sweet thing, pretty girl, or baby
kenji who comforts you that he’s not going nowhere and that you’re safe and will never be hurt again
kenji who one day, with your permission, pulls you into a kiss on tv only to flip off the camera and say “fuck you _____” to your ex bf and best friend for the way they hurt you
kenji who loves posting you on his private instagram, usually taking about two hours just to perfect each post
kenji who loves taking photos of you sleeping since you look so peaceful
kenji who loves assaulting your face and lips with kisses and nibbles
kenji who loves taking showers with you and says “it’s to save water” even though his hands never let go of you, making you both waste more water
kenji who begged you to move in with him for a while hour cause he swears he “can’t live without you”
kenji who can’t wait to marry and have a family with you
kenji who loves you for you, no matter what
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poppy-metal · 3 months
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creep!au art is going crazy. he wants to know who you are sooooooooo badly. he’s been back and forth about guilt and about being disturbed (which if he’s honest ended a long time ago, ended as soon as he saw that sweet cunt) and about what kind of person you must be, what kind of person he must be to take advantage of your troubled mental state. because you really are troubled. it’s not just the act of leaving him these notes. it’s the notes. you say things that make his skin crawl and his cock throb, and he’s starting to not be able to tell the difference. even after you begin texting you still leave him notes. the notes become more graphic, as you’re more reserved over text.
you smell good today. sometimes i want to eat you because i think you’d taste like marshmallow. but that would be wrong.
you’re so strong. i love your arms. would you hit me if i asked you to? i probably deserve it a little for all i put you through. haha. just know you could hurt me forever and i’d still be yours
after all we’ve done together, i have to wonder if you’ve been with any other girls. i hate that. i would never tell you what to do, but it hurts my heart to think you could need anything but me. i would do anything for you. i’d light myself on fire if you asked me to. i would. no one can give you what i can. i can do anything another girl can do, and with me you’ll know it’s an act of worship. you’re no one else’s god, art. just mine.
you’re not okay. you are sick in the head. but. but you’re so sweet. and no one has ever loved him so much. no one ever would again. you were once in a life time. he lies to himself, tells himself that he wants to find you to get you help, that he would bring you to a psychiatrist and work through your issues together. but he won’t. he knows he won’t, distantly. because whatever is wrong with you to make you stalk someone is what makes you fully, totally and unnaturally his. so yes, he cares about you. yes, you make him harder that what he humanly thought is possible. yes, you scared him a little to start with. but you’re a kitten, clawless in his palms. he wants you to be happy. maybe he doesn’t need to make you better to make you happy. he just needs to accept you as his. if only he could track you down. force you to accept his love like you made him accept yours. because he had no choice, and now he wants choice. he wants you to feel him, in every way. but it’s not fair, because you can find him and he can’t find you. it drives him crazy. as crazy as you are.
no because the power dynamics really do shift.... he starts thinking about how if he really pushed you - threatened to stop talking to you, throw away your notes - you'd crack. but he's come to care about you and he can tell through texting you that you haven't had the best upbringing. you suffer from insecurity, even worse than he does, neglect from both parents - you essentially have no one - no friends, no family, all you have is art.
but presses in little ways, i want to touch you so bad. god, i want your pussy on my tongue. you want me so bad - i love that. you said your virginity is mine? that you're saving it for me? well, i want it. i want to feel you on my cock when i stretch you open for the first time. i wanna see your face when i give it to you.
and you're so needy for it. you never thought art would talk to you like this - there's honestly alot you didn't account for that you should have. you didn't account for how it would feel to be wanted by art. to be wanted at all. you didn't account for how it'd feel to read his messages and feel your self control get thinner and thinner - your fingers aren't enough - you cry on them, weep, because its just not enough - they dont fill you how they should - and art -
god he sends you a video of his cock. says the name he'd given you that might as well be your real name now, hearing it from his lips makes you come alive alive alive - "birdie - fuck -" when he cums and his abs clench and thick ropes of white paint his stomach -
and you wanna taste it so bad - wanna lick it - he rubs the cum onto his fingers and spreads it back over his pink dick - "you should be here." he tells you, and the way he's looking into the camera feels like he really does see you, is really looking at you, there kneeling between his spread legs. "you should be licking me clean."
and you should, you should, you should.
you want to but. whenever you think about him seeing you your stomach rolls itself into knots. it'll kill you if his face twitches in disgust or disappointment. it'd genuinely kill you.
you start thinking - isn't the fantasy nice? is there really a need to meet? maybe you could he content with this.... with being his secret.
you text him one night - I've been so happy lately. why risk it with reality? reality is always disappointing to the fantasy.
im going to call you.
i cant talk..
yeah, i know. I'll talk. just listen.
your phone rings and you pick it up, chewing on your nails. you hear the exhale of his breath on the other line and wonder what he's doing right now. sitting at his desk? his bed? crossed legged or lounging? is the phone tucked between his shoulder and cheek so he can fiddle with his hands or is he holding it to his ear?
he says, "you've fucked me up real bad."
your frown. lips parting but of course you don't speak. he can hear you breathing, though. knows you're listening Intently, as you always are.
"really, do you know that? i used to be normal before you. like - this is fucked. what you're doing. but you made me want it - you said all these -" he sighs. shakes his head - "you said all these things and you made me feel shit and now i can't even be mad at you for it because if you're fucked in the head then so am i for wanting you anyway. but i can't keep -"
he looks at the shoebox he has filled with your notes. almost so full the lid can't even stay fully on.
"- i can't keep doing this, birdie. i dont even know your real name - i know what your pussy looks like but not you - that's insane. Its not enough."
your heart trembles. not enough, you think. not enough, not enough, not enough, not enough. not. enough.
"i need more. I'm graduating next year and - I'm leaving, do you get that? im not staying."
tears prick your eyes. you hadn't wanted to think about that. why was he poking holes in everything?
ill just follow you, you think. ill follow you anywhere.
"and I'll find someone - someone thats not you. and I'll fall in love with her and you'll have to watch that. and i can't prevent it because. well, you know me. i want a family. i want that boring white picket fence life. i want a wife and babies and - im going to have it. with or without you."
he lets that sink in before he continues.
"and im not even saying you're her - i have no fucking idea what could happen when we meet. but. i want to - I just want to see you - "
you hang up. its the first time you've done it.
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6ix9inewiturmom · 5 months
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Safe Word- Matthew Sturniolo
Summary: Your boyfriend Matt decided to get a little too rough with you and you needed to use your safe word
Warnings: Use of Y/N, Smut, P in V, Unprotected sex (wrap it in a snickers wrapper if necessary and desperate), safe word, crying, rough!dom!Matt, Sub!fem!reader, degradation, praising.
A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!! This is kinda loosely based on that one scene from Fifty Shades of Grey when Ana uses her safe word!
PSA: DO NOT USE MY WORK FOR ANYTHING THIS IS MY WORK! I wrote this! dont use this for “inspiration” or anything else!
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I had been teasing Matt all day. I purposely wore my sluttiest outfit to an LA party the triplets were invited to and of course, since Matt and I are a package deal I went with him. My outfit consisted of a tiny black latex skirt with a graphic baby Tee and black thigh-high heels. I knew he hated this outfit, he wasn't insecure, he just loved being possessive over me in a healthy manner. We hadn't had sex in about a week, our schedules were not matching this week to give us any time together besides when we both got home we were too tired for anything else besides sleeping. All in all, we were both sexually frustrated and I desperately needed to be dicked the fuck down by him.
The music was loud and the lights in the enclosed venue were nonexistent beside the area lights that were flashing colors around the place, and with all the drunken people around I doubted anyone was looking at me anyway.
Matts's hands gripped my waist pulling me closer to him as my hips swayed to the music and loosened my body from the lack of freedom I've had.
“When we get home I need you faced down and ass up” Matt growled in my ear placing a small kiss on my neckline making shivers go down my spine.
“I'm really feeling this party Matt so we should stay a while” I smiled devilishly knowing he couldn't wait any longer to have me all to himself.
My response only made his grip on my waist tighter. He let out a small grunt as he pushed my ass into his now very obvious boner.
“You feel that? you feel what your slutty little outfit does to me?” he whispers in my ear and softly nibbles at my ear.
“I honestly have no idea what you're talking about Matt,” I say smirking knowing damn well exactly what he meant.
“Fuck this” he says gripping my wrist softly and dragging me around the venue finding his brothers.
“Matt, what the fuck?” I say almost whining.
“Hey so Y/N isn’t feeling well, do you guys wanna come with me or do you want to call an Uber home when you wanna come home?” Matt questions his brothers still gripping my wrist as I sit there like a child being dragged around Walmart.
“Oh girl I'm sorry, too much alcohol?” Nick says laughing.
“No actually-” i start before Matt interrupts me.
“Yes she had a little too much and doesn't realize she had that much” Matt says looking at me with disapproval.
“Just call an uber Matt” Chris says as his arm is wrapped around some girl he probably just met tonight.
Matt nods and pushes through the crowd of people still grabbing my wrist. We find our way to the car he opens the door for me practically shoving me into the passenger side as he gets in the driver's side.
Matt pulls out of the parking lot at a rather concerning speed making my head jolt back “Jesus Matt could you at least be safe getting us home… fuck” I say in annoyance.
Matt doesn't reply he just places his hand on my upper thigh and softly grips it. I place my hand on top of his holding his intex and middle finger.
Matt speeds through the interstate hurrying to get him only making me wetter and wetter by the second, questioning in my mind all the things he'd do to me. How he would thrust his cock deep into me, the way he would have his arms around my waist so tightly, thinking about all the nastiest shit he would whisper in my ear as his cock hits all the right places in me. All these things pacing through my head make my thighs subconsciously squeeze together which matt obviously caught on.
“Such a dirty fucking whore” he whispers under his breath.
My lower lip gets trapped in my teeth at his words, i. Always loved the way his voice got lower as he spoke to me sexually.
After what felt like hours we finally arrived at the house, quickly ran around to grab my door for me and once again, he gripped my wrist softly yet firmly as he unlocked the door and guided me to our bedroom.
Matt's eyes darken with more than just lust, he slowly creeps up behind me and rips my shirt right in half making me squeal.
“Matt are you serious” my jaw dropped to the floor watching my shirt fall off my arms.
He once again didn't answer and unclipped my bra allowing it to fall off my shoulders and down to the floor. His hands crept their way to my hips dropping my skirt off from them as i step out of my skirt.
He pushed me down on the bed by my shoulders and used my ankles which were dangling off the bed to flip me over with my ass in the air and my face in the mattress.
This has got to be the quickest this man has undressed. In no time his cock was free slapping his stomach and he was completely bare. He quickly spit in his own hand rubbing his spit down his shaft and spreading it around. He moves a little closer to me using the excess spit from his hand and spreading it around my folds making my hips jerk forward and sending a smirk to his face at my reaction.
He aligns his cock with my entrance and immediately bottoms out. “You think you're so fucking cute” he grunts out as his hand pushes my head down on the mattress as he thrusts his hips into mine. “Teasing me all fucking day huh? You think you're all innocent? Making everything think you're a sweet innocent little whore? You want everyone to know you're a fucking slut” he spits as my head further into the mattress.
The room was filled with my moans and cries of pleasure and the sound of my ass recoiling from his hips as he thrusts into me at an almost ungodly pace.
“MATT” I muffle out.
“Oh, you like that? You like my fucking dick being shoved so deep in your tight pussy” he groans out.
“MPHF- MA-MATT” Tears form in my eyes as his hand repeatedly smacks my ass leaving a red and white handprint on my ass as his cock abuses my cervix.
“Such a dumb fucking slut already” he laughs out as his grip on the back of my throat gets tighter.
“BUTTERFLY” i scream out with tears streaming down my face, lifting my head to the best of my ability which sends Matt into a panic, and immediately pull out and flipping me over to face him.
“Baby? Are you okay? did i hurt you?” his hands cup my cheeks wiping away the tears that had been pouring out of my eyes.
“Y-y-yes” i whisper out as i flince at his touch.
“S-shit” he studders out “Where did I hurt you, my love?” his voice softens.
“Y-you h-had y-y-your hand o-on the back of my-my throat a little too tight” My breathing shudders “I-i I couldn't breathe” I sniffle out.
“I-am so sorry sweetheart, you know i would never internally hurt you, i-i-i just got carried away” he looks down fiddling his fingers.
“N-no i-i-i know..” my voice trails off as my eyes water.
“Come here” he opens his arms for me to lie in them as his hands run through my hair. “I'm so so sorry” he whispers.
“I-its okay” as i bury my head in his chest.
“Sh sh, don't speak” he kisses my head. “I was too rough with you, you felt the need to use your safe word” his voice cracks as tears of his own start forming in his eyes. “I promise you i won't be that rough with you again” he kisses my head again.
I lift my head up a little “n-no i like when you're rough i just like my ability to breathe matt” i softly smile.
He returns a smile before placing a loving small kiss on my lips and laying back as my head lays back on his chest.
“I love you” he whispers out slowly massaging my scalp.
“I love you too” I mutter before falling fastly asleep in Matt's arms.
“I love you most” he replies kissing my head and also falling into a deep slumber of his own holding me the rest of the night.
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A/n Pt 2: AHH THIS ONEE I STG I JUST KEPT TYPING AWAY SO I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS ONE!!!! And tysm again for over 500 followers!!!
XOXO
Gabs 💋
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barblaz-arts · 7 months
Note
HELLOOO!! Im in LOVE with all your Chaggie (and Wenclair obv-) art!! I was wondering if youd be up to share your thoughts on the other hazbin characters? Simply cuz Im very curious and youve been a favourite content creator of mine for a while whose opinions and takes on different things i value A LOT! So id love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the main cast(and more if youre up to it hahha)!
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@phantoswordsman15
The main cast huh
Hmmmmm I dont particularly hate them, but I have some opinions that people might not like and I'm aware there's a lot of uh sensitive people in this fandom, so I never said them unprompted
But since you asked!
Alastor
Let's start with the infamous Alastor. I think he's a very entertaining character! His horde of simps annoy tf outta me when they're being misogynistic and homophobic towards Chaggie and Vaggie, but I quite liked him when I make myself forget certain parts of the fandom. He's funny and conniving and intriguing. The fact that he apparently sold his soul is super interesting to me. I'm on board with the people theorizing that he sold his soul to Lilith. I bet he's cozying up with Charlie so that he can use it to break his contract somehow. Feel like he also used the deal with (presumably) Lilith so that he could be strong enough to be the overlord he became.
With that being said, I'm really surprised with the direction they took with him. You'd think that with him being a favorite of the showrunner and the fandom, he would probably be portrayed as the coolest mf in hell. But I really like that it isn't really the case within the show. Certain denizens dont even know him and older overlords like Zestial seems to scare him and Carmilla just dgaf about him. Hell, Alastor's loss to Adam was a lil embarrassing ngl. Like. I know he's one of the oldest human souls and that's why he's powerful but... It's Adam.
Something about him that I noticed is that he seems to be more bark than bite. In particular in his duet with Lucifer, initially Lucifer had the upper hand because he's objectively more powerful, humiliating Alastor with his angel magic, but what Alastor used to his advantage was his words and charisma, as can be expected of a radio host. He's always taunting his enemies, but does it actually make him stronger than them? He "won" that duet with Vox but Valentino said Alastor only"almost beat" him when they had an actual fight. He ruffled Lucifer's feathers but at the end of the day Lucifer is still leagues more powerful than him. He talked big when he was fighting Adam but he almost died and had a breakdown over it.
He's really a lot less "cool" than I expected the show would have him be portrayed as. Kinda pathetic honestly, how he's so insecure and angry whenever he isn't the strongest guy in the room. And i actually really like that! He reminds me a lot of Rumplestilstkin from Once Upon a Time.
Something I kinda hesitate to say tho is... I dont want him redeemed. I dont want him to actually care about the hotel crew and change his ways. I like him as the fucked up man he is and really want to see how fucked up he can be, just so that if he ends up being the huge antagonist, his downfall would be all the more satisfying. Like yunno that moment when Light/Kira was finally defeated? I wanna feel that again.
Angel Dust
I love him! We found his dialogue a lil annoying at first in ep 1 but the writers did a lot better in ep 2. He's a neat guy. His character gives interesting implications for me as to what makes a person a sinner in this show. While you have people like Alastor who obviously ended up where they did because a cannibal murderer, I get the feeling Angel ended up in hell because he was abusing his own body, which is a sad thing to think. If I remember right from my own catholic upbringing, abusing the body is considered a sin because your body is a temple. To think that Angel could be in hell for poisoning himself, not for harming others, is just sad man. I look forward to seeing more of his journey.
I'm not touching on how his SA was tackled btw. While I'm a victim of sexual assault myself, what i experienced was far from what Angel does on a REGULAR basis,so I don't feel like i have any personal or professional right to say anything about it. Not every victim's case is universal anyways. All I can say is, his line about purposefully damaging himself so he could be broken enough to no longer be Valentino's "favorite toy" hit me harder than I ever expected this show to.
Husk
Confession: I... I dont feel all that attached to Husk at all, I am so sorry Husk stans 😭
Okok that feels so mean to say I'm so sorry. I actually hesitated to say anything because I dont want to hurt people's feelings. But since you guys are asking and I dont like not being genuine, I'm telling the truth.
A lot of my feelings about Husk is heavily affected by the fandom anyways to be perfectly fair. Why? Because a lot of criticisms against Vaggie is easily applicable to Husk, maybe even more so, and yet I dont see even the same level of hate towards him that Vaggie received because his chemistry with Angel is so much better than Chaggie... Apparently...
I just dont see Husk as a character outside of being a plot device for Angel's development yunno? I get it, he isn't a main character like the main 4 are(Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, and Angel), i just find it hard to well and truly like him because of the fandom's double standards. When we found out someone was gonna die in the finale, my brother and I actually thought it was gonna be him because he doesn't have a big enough role to play in the plot to be a HUGE loss, but has a significant enough connection to a main character to have an EFFECT. He very much just felt like the love interest for Angel and nothing else. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but is frustrating when i see sooo many people label Vaggie as such(when she isnt!) and hate her SO MUCH for it.
I wanna see more of him tho I really do. Like the man used to be an overlord. He said he wanted to find someone who could relate to "the gruesome ways in which he's damaged" but what does that even mean? Yes i know about the castration but aside from that what suffering is Alastor putting him thru when all he has to do is be a bartender rn? There must be more and I wanna see it and finally feel for him.
Nifty
I love her a lot. That's it. The character ever. Her gremlin energy reminded me so much of Peridot, it's great. Kimiko Glenn did a fantastic job as the comic relief character and I hope she gets her own song next season. Her basically being everyone's little sister was kinda adorable even tho she's probably the scariest person in that hotel next to Alastor. I hope she gets to stab Valentino next. Just kill that MOTHerfucker
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sofiepofie20 · 2 months
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Tsukishima Kei headcanons!
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→ bro loves playing with LEGO, so of course he will call u to hang out in his house and u two will build legos together (he won't let u touch the legos and u will just watch while yapping about something and he nods, focused on the legos, pretending that he's hearing u).
→ he just loves when u engage on his yap about some nerdy interest of his and actually pays attention. he will melt even more if u do some research on his interests so u can talk to him more.
→ i have a feeling Kei would have a lot of dinasour stickers that he uses to send texts.
→ he mutes all the groups he's in.
→ he likes to wear grandpa clothes and doesn't give a fuck if he looks old or not. let him wear his comfortable slippers and walk around the house with an old ass sweater. i think he honestly doesn't care about what he wears or not, as long as its decent.
→ Tsukki would get really annoyed whenever someone would start whining to him about some personal problem that they can't solve, even if the answer to their problem is obvious, and he would tell them to think harder (if its someone he's close to, he would give his honest advice).
→ i think bro would like Cigarettes After Sex and calm, melodic songs. he relates to Lemon Boy and listen to some of Cavetown's songs.
→ He has rewatched Jurassic Park movies more than one time.
→ Tuskki likes to read magazines about scientific facts, volleyball and historical facts.
→ bro is grossed out by bugs.
→ i have a feeling that Kei would like cats, or he wouldn't like animals at all, or simply dont care about them.
→ if he was an animal, he would be a desert frog. that one frog that looks like a grumpy ball with arms and legs and squeals when he feels threatned.
→ Tsukki likes indie games and grew up as a Nintendo kid.
→ Kei and Akiteru grew up without a father, because of this, Akiteru felt like he had to be an example to Kei, and lied to not disappoint him. it ended up being much more painful for Kei to know that his brother was as lost as him (his parents divorced when he was still a baby, and his father was not present as he grew up).
→ When he started his second year in high school, Kei became more open with the people on the volleyball team and they became closer (still being the sarcastic prick he is).
→ bro's love language is quality time and acts of service, obviously. gets used to words and touch after some time.
→ he is canonically popular with girls, but he always rejects them all. the thought of dating never even passed through his head, at least not in high school.
→ doesn't swear all the time, just occasionally.
→ Tsukki had a dinasour pajama when he was a kid, and now he hides it in his closet.
→ I think he would like vanilla/strawberry ice cream. bro also likes strawberry shortcake, but he doesn't eat them that often.
→ takes hot baths only.
→ sometimes he applies one of his mom's cream on his hands so they don't get too dry and calloused from playing volleyball.
→ he HATES standing in the sun for too long.
→ he would hate beaches or just be neutral about them.
→ Tsukki loves table games, specially the card ones. he's a master at these.
→ bro would love Saiki Kusuo no psy nan and would relate to Kusuo.
→ has embarassing pictures of Tanaka, Nishinoya, Hinata and Kageyama and plans to use them for blackmail.
→ bro is shortsighted, can't see shit when he takes off his glasses.
→ Has stretch marks because of how fast he grew, and is slightly insecure about them.
→ Tsukki has a weakness for sweets. if u want something and u dont wanna beg, just give him a pastry and he will ask "what do u want?" with an annoyed tone.
→ has a dinasour plushie since he was a kid and now its hiden along with the dinasour pajama.
→ Likes Despicable Me minions.
→ Kei is good at videogames too.
→ He really appreciates his mother for taking care of him and his brother alone. he admires her a lot.
→ Knows how to cook since his mom has to leave sometimes and he can't just starve (makes pretty good chocolate pancakes).
→ bro stutters when he gets mad.
→ He likes Lord of the Rings and the Harry Potter movies.
→ Calls u hobbit if ur close to him.
→ Likes Marvel and DC stuff.
→ Bro learned to play bass when he was a child and never stopped. he likes to play, and sometimes plays in his room. it kinda relaxes him, and it's no secret to anyone that Kei has a strong connection with music.
→ A complete dork geeky nerd (⁠´⁠ε⁠`⁠ ⁠)
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pasta-in-the-pudding · 10 months
Note
Guess Who's back ✨
Anyways..What would Jeff be like if he found out Reader was pregnant?
AGHHH I LOVE GETTING TO WRITE FOR DOMESTIC SITUATIONS!!
Weddings, babies, moving in together i love it all 💗
Thank you so much for requesting!!
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Jeff finding out you're pregnant
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Jeff has always been firm on the notion that he does not want kids
He thinks kids are annoying and gross and stinky
And there's also some insecurity of him not being able to be a good dad, considering his job, his upbringing, even his appearance
All around, kids are a firm no for him
So when you begin experiencing morning sickness he kind of just denies the very possibility that you could even get pregnant
But you, being at least a little more reasonable than him, decides its better safe than sorry and goes out to buy a test
When you get back, you inform him that you're gonna take the test just to be sure to which he straight up laughs
"You won't need it, because I can tell you right now you're not pregnant"
And so, after a few minutes of waiting anxiously after taking the test, you look at the results and see....a positive
A hand goes to your stomach, the tears already streaming down your face
Jeff, who decided he would wait with you snatches the test and does several takes
He's honestly just speechless, he didn't even really think he could get anyone pregnant, which may have just been wishful thinking on his part
He looks at you, and you look at him
Your face is one of pure joy, and his is a mix of confusion, fear and disgust
"We aren't keeping it, right?" He asks after looking at your face for a while
You frown and smack his arm "jeff! How could you even suggest that?!"
"We aren't prepared for a kid! We've never even talked about it! Not to mention, what kind of life would that kid have?? Growing up in a house full of murderers and monsters, the kid's guaranteed to be fucked in the head!"
"You aren't even going to give this a chance?" You ask frustratedly "you created this with me, you know! The least you could do is take responsibility!"
He groans and storms out of the room, leaving you to cry alone
When he gets back he is less angry, and clearly just got done "blowing off some steam" made clear by the fresh blood on his hoodie
You aren't crying anymore, he comes into the room and sighs before sitting with you on your bed
You are both very quiet for a while, just sitting together
He finally speaks, but he doesn't look at you. He couldn't bear to
"I love you, you know? I just get....i just feel really scared right now because I don't know what to do. I'm not in control and that scares me"
You look at him and place a hand on his cheek "if you wanna get rid of it, then we can discuss our options?" You offer
He shakes his head "i dont wanna get rid of it....i just...i don't want to mess this up, you know?"
You scoot closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder "you won't mess it up..." you look at your stomach and then grab his hand and place it on your lower belly "if you love this baby as much as you love me, theres no way you could" you say looking up at him with a smile
He looks at your stomach and then at you "im still so, so scared" he whispers to you "i dont know anything"
You kiss his nose and press your forehead to his "it's ok. We'll learn together"
He smiles "ok"
After that first whole fight, he actually gets pretty excited about the baby!
You manage to pay slender to get a room that you can make into a nursery, and announce the news to your close friends
Jeff is always buying things for the baby. Toys, clothes, blankets, etc
He also loves to talk to the baby, telling your little one all about the day that he had and how much he loves them
He's still hates kids, but his kid is amazing
(Also authors note i wanna write more general preganancy hcs for jeff bc hes so silly)
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afictionalwhor3 · 2 months
Text
I just finished watching HOTD and I have sm thoughts rumbling inside my head and I’m going to try my best to get them out in a way that makes sense
HOTD 2.07 Spoilers Ahead
- The ending of this episode saved it sm omggg. And please I understand why these side characters need this story building. Esp Daemon, I think we as viewers have been robbed in a lot of ways of seeing Daemon as a multi dimensional emotional character. However, this is why shows need to go back to 24 episode seasons. When there’s only 10 episodes before we lose these characters for two years I wanna see more action and not so much story building.
- The scene with Jace, my bbg 😖🫣🫠. I loved that scene bc it shows that Jace is insecure. He realizes what people say abt him and in some ways he probably believes it as well. Bc even if he has “plain” features the thing that separated him from the small folk was his claim to a dragon. Now that the small folk can claim dragons it’s like he is one of them. And I understand those frustrations (if we had 24 episode seasons 🙄) I would’ve loved to see wherever he went and have like a private moment amongst himself or even with Baela
- Daemon, Daemon, Daemon 😭😭. I’m sorry but him tripping acid in Harenhal is so genuinely funny to me. In seriousness tho we stan Oscar Tully cuz we love seeing Daemon humbled. The way he was able to spin the situation and make Daemon the uncomfortable one? Yeah you ate down mama
- The scenes with Matt and Paddy are just so good their chemistry off the charts. And the fact it was Paddy’s suggestion to do the scene as decrepit Viserys makes it even better bc it’s Viserys telling Daemon here the crown is yours, you’ve always wanted it, but while I hand it to you, look what it did to me.
- As someone who has not read the books, I saw that in the books Rhaena was happy in the Vale and that makes me sick cause that girl deserves it. Pray she claims a dragon next episode.
- Can a book person confirm is Alyssa had a sister? Cause ik with the kings guard from last episode (sorry I’m bad with names) they like made up Aerianna? So I wanna know if Hugh’s mom actually existed. Also hate hm character development/screen time he’s gotten as opposed to other side characters makes me sick.
- All those small folk in Dragonstone had me like, idk sista, but Rhaenyra seriously gained infinite aura points being able to calm Verthimor down.
- Vermithor knew damn well he ain’t have to burn all them people like that. Which leads me into my point that I love that these dragons have personalities. Like Syrax is literally just a girl, Vermithor is hot headed, Vhagar is an old lady, I just love that aspect of the show and someone give us a dragon personality fic
- Ulf stumbling onto a dragon like that I thought for sure he was dead. And also another clutch of dragon eggs???? Do they not know abt silverwing? Sm questions but when he went to kings landing I thought for a moment he was going to claim House Hightower. And when Aemond got to a haggard she was like “not again cmon”
- PERIOD THE DRAGON AT THE END WITH HER CREW BEHIND HERRRR!!! FUCK AEMOND WE DONT NEED HIMMMM!!! Such a boss power move like that was epic
- My favorite part abt next weeks preview was seeing Aemond tell Haelena she would have to ride Dreamfyre. Like she’s not meant yo be a warrior princess she’s meant to run in a field of flowers
But those are my thoughts if you somehow read this whole thing awesome and let’s talk in the comments I love talking abt these things it makes my day!!!!
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suffarustuffaru · 4 months
Note
A while ago someone asked you for your thoughts on Garfiel. I figured the sibling set should be complete, so what are your thoughts on Frederica?
HALLO FINNB!!! interesting question :o my thoughts on frederica are. a little mixed. but ultimately i think what we’ve seen from her so far is interesting and that she has a lot of potential here.
we just dont know all that much about her :(( on one level i get it—rezeros cast is immense and naturally tappei has to rotate through everyone and give every character focus and spotlight at different times. but bc we dont know that much about frederica i feel like shes mostly just Kinda There, yknow? :<< we know way more about garfiel and i feel like frederica being kept on the backburner for so long kinda works against her and the emilia camp in general writing wise just bc she just has to be stuck in I Havent Had My Character Arc Limbo when the emilia camp is the main group we see consistently for rezeros main route ig. or at least thats my thoughts on it atm :<<
plus i was honestly kinda sad frederica didnt get to go along in arc 5 If Only bc she didnt get to see what her mom is up to firsthand. then theres the actual arc 4-5 interlude with frederica and garf trying to bond after sanctuary that i HOPE gets included in s3 :<< frederica is just lacking in screentime and literally almost any info at all for sure. which makes me sad bc tappei LET ME IN I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HER !!! >:(((
and again i get it that tappei cant develop every character in existence at the same time. dude has to juggle the most massive cast especially by arc 7. but definitely this has its drawbacks especially with the way tappei writes everyone. bc at the moment frederica is one of the characters suffering the most from it—she appeared all the way back in arc 4 and four arcs later i cannot tell you all that much about her :<
i do think though that what we do see from her so far is interesting!! her insecurity regarding her appearance, like her sharp teeth, her being so fond of petra while also being so dead set on disciplining petra firmly when needed (which is sweet!!!), that one ss where frederica takes care of ram when shes feeling more under the weather than usual (which is Again super super adorable), frederica listening with a smile as emilia gushes about subaru to her. and also her just flatly pitying otto and hearing this guy say hes totally normal and being like “he Literally cannot perceive himself accurately at all” + dropping otto in the anime just to hug petra is fucking hilarious i need fredotto fics to actually acknowledge this.
but also other details like—and ok granted i dont remember every detail on frederica (yet) but leaving garfiel like that is still kind of. a dick move HAH. and i know her reason was smth along the lines of wanting to improve the outside world for demihumans iirc but like whats her Full Reasons for doing all that?? what was she even planning to do?? why couldnt she talk to or see garfiel more in this entire time period?? i think it comes with the interesting implication that frederica isnt entirely as nice and sweet as she looks—or at least that of course she herself is flawed. which is fun!!
also her relationship with clind is. ………..naturally of course i dont trust tappei with anything regarding children and clinds weird shit with children but ignoring tappei for a moment i do at least appreciate the complicated thoughts frederica has about clind. how she had feelings for him once and they still linger but she keeps her distance bc hes like That, you know? that feeling of broken trust and “i cared for you now what do i do with This Feeling” is So interesting to me i just hate clind’s whole thing with children bc tappei will never write it in an entirely serious and satisfactory manner 😭 BUT greed if and the dynamic between frederica and clind and frederica having to help kill / kill clind bc of greedbaru and echidnas shit is SO interesting (and clinds lore apart from being Creepy About Children is very interesting). but also poor frederica……….. ;-;
and poor frederica bc if the rumors about her getting more development by like arc 10 or 11 are true then shes gonna be stuck in I Havent Gotten Development Yet Limbo for a while ;-;
but yeah anyway. the frederica crumbs so far are interesting, the shit going on with frederica and garfiels family is Interesting, and i definitely dont trust tappei with children 👍 but i hope we get more info on frederica and that her character arc slaps really hard !! i Need to learn more about her!!!
im not fully familiar with fredericas side of the complicated family drama but if memory serves me right her birth was. not an entirely happy affair bc her poor mom has been through A Lot of shit and frederica was a product of that. and then her mom later tries to go find garfiel’s dad. like all of that is just so incredibly sad to me and again, i wish frederica was there to see what happened to her mom in arc 5, and also im curious about how thats affected frederica more in depth. knowing she wasnt exactly wanted. having these demihuman features from her dad (im assuming), whos also One Of the people who hurt her mom. knowing that she was born a burden, learning that her mom cant entirely take care of her and isnt in a stable life situation and almost certainly isnt mentally stable herself. garfiel coming along and their mom leaving. frederica leaving garfiel in sanctuary herself. her growing up admiring clind, which is an unfortunate parallel to what couldve happened with her mom and garfiel’s dad. its just so so tragic to me and theres a lot of things you could explore there!!
frederica to me seems like someone whos probably grown up too fast, who comes off as composed and very disciplined and likes taking care of others but also fumbles a little at growing closer and is insecure and uncertain herself even as shes good at being the older and wiser one to petra and later garfiel a bit. but also we dont know much about her so im kinda just spitballing here but she has potential methinks :,) im definitely sad that it seems like the fact that shes a pretty anime waifu or whatever kinda overtakes discussions on her character sometimes ;-;
and also one of my pals is really passionate about animals and gave me a whole lecture once a few years ago on why they think fredericas beast form design fucking sucks and i cant remember all of their points now but like i Will back them up i think garfiel and fredericas beast forms could look better but im not an expert at illustrating animals so HAH i cant speak on that. but def the eyebrows on the beast designs is so…… whaaaaat is that 😭 go FULL beast design or NOTHING. WHERE IS MY EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA BUFF FREDERICA BEAST DESIGN !!!
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also ngl i just think frederica looks really cute in this shot <333 ALSO iirc she feels like she cant wear cute outfits bc shes insecure about her body and :((((( GIVE THIS GIRL ALL THE CUTEST OUTFITS IN THE WORLD PLEASE :((( and also i just think its a tragedy just how much shes sexualized :(( and i just think there are. a lot of AFAB specific and girlhood specific themes you could explore with fredericas storyline but tappei is tappei so all the foundation is there but idk if i entirely trust him. but on another level i think its fascinating yeah!!! sad how much it flies over audiences heads sometimes.
in conclusion: i like frederica i hope we see more stuff from her. and im crying about how she reportedly wont be getting development for a wall :<<<<
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migosis · 1 year
Text
One story, six prompts (erik killmonger x reader short)
i came out of retirement and challenged myself using prompts from @eye-raq's post here.
Synopsis: Erik is getting serious with a girl who is scared to love him b/c of past trauma. What happens when he breaks her trust?
masterlist
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You were in the kitchen preparing a snack before you sat down to watch television. The distraction of being entertained by drama that wasn’t yours was exactly what you needed this evening. Even though this was your second time watching Insecure, you still couldn’t decide if you were Team Issa or Team Molly. Your phone chimed, notifying you there was motion detected on your front door step and moments later you heard a few knocks. You scoffed once you saw the footage of Erik waiting impatiently, checking to see if there was a key under a planter nearby. You barely cracked the door open before walking back in the house towards the kitchen. You heard him smack his lips, but you were genuinely unconcerned in the moment about his frustration. He was hot on your tail following you into the kitchen where you faced away from him and continued cutting your pineapple.
“I don’t like being hung up on, that’s some grimy shit.” He declared.
“Unfortunately for you Erik, I dont really give a fuck about what you like right now. I told you I wanted space so I’m not sure why you’re here.”
“Y/n, that was 4 days ago. I'm tired of this, all you do is shut down. It would be one thing if you actually moved on, but you're still mad about the same shit four days later. Like where does that leave me?"
"I don't know." You said nonchalantly. 
"See this what the fuck I be talking about. Is this a relationship or not?"
"Erik, I don't know what you want from me.”
"I want you to stop fucking running and talk to me so we can get past this. I want more than this, I’m tired of playing games."
"I don't want to get past it. I just want to be heard. And clearly you couldn't do that so I hung up."
"Babe, I heard you. I told you I was sorry and I even understood where you was coming from. I told you how I could’ve handled it better, but why am I the only one that has to be accountable? You went thru my phone and found something you shouldn't have been looking for in the first place. Why you can't admit that? Why you can't admit that you didn't trust me in the first place?"
"Erik, stop. I really don't wanna do this." Here you were trying to stave off the immense emotion you felt in that moment. You could place it, but your chest was tight, palms hot, and you used the back of your hand to stave off tears that threatened to fall. 
Erik's chest ached when he heard your voice crack. He hated to see you cry, and even more for him to be at the source of it. He was truly apprehensive in trying to soothe you. He knew you were asking for space, but who else was going to do the work of soothing you and earning your trust back. In a group chat, his friends commented on y/n’s “standoff-ish” demeanor and implying that she was insecure in her looks and suggested that he could do better. Y/n’s heart sank when Erik did not defend her, but only replied insisting they mind their business and making several jokes about their failed relationships. 
He stepped closer from behind. He placed his hand over yours gently, prying the knife out of her and sitting it down.
"Listen y/n, this love shit is scary as hell but I'm willing to accept it. Are you?"
Love? You questioned internally, had he meant to say that. It felt unreal, but not unreal enough for you to deny it. When you thought about how Erik treated you, you could tell he loved you. And even though you had labeled the relationship you and him had kindled everything else under the sun it was only in this moment you realized what you two had cultivated was love. 
Even despite this realization, some wounded part in you needed to push back. "Erik, I don't think you know what you're saying." You shook your head. You could feel his hands around your waist now, making you tense up. But when he rested his head on your shoulder, you began to breathe again. If you could so casually let him in, it also meant that letting him go wouldn’t be so easy. You needed to make a fight, construct walls, not allow yourself to get used to his love because the love you were used to was unstable, unreliable, and unsafe. In reality Erik had been the opposite of all of those things to you, so this was the moment you understood the problem all along was not that you needed to let him in like he’d been pleading for. You needed to let you out. This solitary confinement was making your love for Erik complicated. It was making his love for you hard, while it could be so easy. His love truly swept you up and held you tight. It was hard to breathe his air, but with all of these realizations flooding your mind, you know you could not keep suffocating yourself with burdens of the past or concerns of the future.
His lips found your neck and he promptly turned you around to face him. Gently, he brushed away the tears that spilled down your cheeks.
"You know how I feel about you, it's already apparent. Please don’t cry baby."
He kissed you again and your hand grabbed onto the front of his shirt holding him there. You pulled him deeper into your mouth. Tasting him again felt amazing and the way his hands grazed your hips made you want him in other ways. You hummed into his mouth out of pure impulse. When you pulled away, you turned leaning over the counter and pressed your backside into him. You grinded against him, tempting him to palm your ass. His hand continued up your back, grabbing you up against his chest by your ponytail. She quickly went to untie the elastic on her pajama shorts and pull them down but Erik's hand stopped her. 
"Wait."
"What?" She questioned as he stepped back from her painstakingly slow.
"Erik c’mooon." She whined at him. Once she actually looked back at him, she could see the pensive look he had on his face which made her fill with concern.
"Sex isn't going to make this go away.”
"I know that, Erik." She nearly rolled her eyes, but she was trying her best to be earnest.
"I want you to talk to someone baby.”
Off rip, you were immediately embarrassed at the thought of him telling you that you needed some type of help. 
“I’m not ready for that yet.”
“Well you’re not talking to me and I’m trying to stay together, so am I worthy enough to change your mind?”
“Can you be flexible? How about we talk to someone?”
“Couples therapy? I never thought I’d need that corny ass shit.” He muttered the last part quietly. “But I love you and I know you do too, so you’re really gonna have to convince me otherwise.”
It was hard to bring yourself to say those words so you simply stated. "I do." He smirked and lifted you on the counter. He looked you over and told you how much he missed you. He kissed you, his tongue delving into your mouth. You held his scruffy jaw, beckoning him closer to you. You barely flinched when his hand crept around your neck, and finally found home grasping your chest.
"I thought you said no sex." You said breathlessly.
"That was before, now I'm about to make love to you."
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taglist: @hearteyes-for-killmonger @loveeeeandaffection @iamrheaspeaks @adasosweet @goddessofthundathighs @thiccdaddy-mbaku @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @eye-raq @madamslayyy @sweeter-thejuice @wawakanda-btch @theunsweetenedtruth @wokeblock @smutty-smut-smuty @wakandamaybe @stainontheground  @killmongerkink @soufcakmistress
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