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plounce · 4 years

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what if gay CATS........... were gay PERSONS

(info on this au under the cut)

theyre all shitty young adults just kind of. getting through their early 20s as best they can. or as much as they can. maybe things will get better someday, but right now they’re kind of spinning their wheels

magic exists but like eh it’s not a big thing don’t worry about it. it’s around but like whatever. not many people have it and it’s mostly just like. a curiosity or a party trick

demeter and bombularina are together, tugger and mistoffelees are together, bombularina and tugger occasionally fwb, it’s cool and aboveboard and it’s all fine

demeter:

bisexual with a preference for women. 24 years old

semi-psychic (not as powerful as tantomile or coricopat). tends to have vague and confusing prophetic dreams

dropped out of grad school for sociology due to trauma and ensuing intensified mental illness. kind of bitter about it, but tries to get through every day. general anxiety disorder even before all that

very nervous around most men she doesn’t know & trust

currently working at a barnes & noble starbucks, which sucks. she recently became the assistant manager, which turbo sucks because now she has more work for only like a buck raise, but at least she’s getting reliable shifts

her go-to therapy is cutting her hair with scissors. her hair is fried to all hell from regular bleaching

she’s learning how to crochet because she’s decided she needs to do something physically productively creative with her hands to distract herself from Stuff

bombalurina:

bisexual. 24 years old

got her bachelor’s in english two years ago and hasn’t found a job in her field and has kind of given up on it for now

she’s been bartending for like four years, does freelance editing work on the side. will occasionally write listicles for clickbait sites if she needs extra cash

literally any extra money she can save goes to tattoos. her right sleeve’s almost done

has natural red hair but dyes it cherry red

a hedonist to cope but is also just a natural hedonist. likes a good bath

i know that like the typical thing fandoms say about female characters is “doesn’t take shit” for the girlboss points but she truly does not take shit anymore. she used to take people’s shit sometimes but at this point in her life she’s tired and she has a girlfriend to be protective of. she has a couple people whose shit she will take (mostly just tugger) but besides them (and having to practice basic customer service to keep her job) she’s tired of other people’s shit! enough!

my personal take on bombalurina is a mix between the riot grrrls of the 90s and 80s punk girls, and then a dash of the greaser chicks from grease. i saw that spiked collar and my brain went OH okay i can run with this somewhere fun. same for demeter, but less so - she just has the piercings.

demelurina:

bombalurina met demeter in college at a women’s activism club, noticed her because of her dimple piercings and was like “oh someone else with a lot of metal in her face, i’ll sit next to her”

they were each other’s first off-campus roommates and were close friends. made out a couple times, but it was mostly a lot of sexual tension. there was a lot of bombalurina staring at demeter while she or demeter made out with someone else

demeter was on and off with her high school boyfriend munkustrap and bombalurina was like “oh he’s so much more stable/calm than me and she needs that, i party a bit too much for her, i shouldn’t try anything” so she just sort of. lets their almost-there peter off

(this is all bombalurina’s internal thoughts - demeter always was interested in her, but thought she was too boring for bombalurina. so neither of them thought they could pursue it)

bombalurina graduated and moved somewhere cheaper further away from campus. they kind of drift apart

munkustrap and demeter peter off and he moves away for a job (they’re still good friends, it was a very amicable breakup) and then demeter gets with macavity, which is a deeply toxic situation for her and sucks hugely and throws her whole life really off track. won’t go into further details

she finally manages to break up with him and calls bombalurina at like 2 am asking if she can pick her up, and also if she can sleep on her couch, it’s okay if that’s not okay, she just. really needs a place she feels safe, and her gut is telling her to. and of course bombalurina says yes

bombalurina also knew macavity and had also made out a couple times with him at like parties and stuff (see: staring at demeter as she makes out with people). something about transference of feelings - bombalurina was into him for a couple moments because he and demeter had a thing.

this is due to me interpreting the song “macavity” as actually about bombalurina wanting to fuck demeter and her singing as a half-repressed expression of that. i use my really good wlw brain to reach that conclusion. it’s kind of a non-competitive version of eve sedgwick’s take on the love triangle. (<-- normal thing to say)

but anyway demeter stays on bombalurina’s couch and she tries so hard to stay on track but eventually she just has to drop out. bombalurina helps her with that too. she’s just really supportive even as demeter’s life is at its lowest point. when she gets home from bartending she gets demeter to go to sleep

she just Stays with her and makes her smile and reminds her that her life isn’t over, there’s still things in her day to enjoy, to keep her trudging forward

bombalurina is roommates with tugger at this point - he also recently dropped out and demeter knows him because he’s munkustrap’s brother, so he’s Trusted and also is like “hey it’s okay that you dropped out, im here and im chilling and you like me and respect me at least a little, and you have a bachelor’s degree at least!” (more on him later)

demeter is like “oh god ive been crashing at their place for so long not paying rent, theyre gonna ask me to leave, im such a freeloader, they wont take my attempts at paying rent” but then bombalurina and tugger are like “hey! the lease is almost up! we found a pretty good 3 bedroom, do you wanna have your own room for real?” and she nearly cries because 1. the RELIEF 2. oh my god you want me around???

cut to bombalurina helping demeter put together an ikea dresser (tugger got banished to the kitchen to make crystal light lemonade for them because he’s useless with a screwdriver) and demeter has two epiphanies:

1. i thought i was ready to d*e four months ago and here i am making a dresser to put clothes into in my new apartment where i live and feel safe and loved. im still not happy but im still alive and im making a dresser

2. holy fuck im back in love with my best friend, and ten times more than i was back then.

so she like kind of freaks out because she’s already imposed so much on bombalurina, how could she impose her FEELINGS on her like this, oh no oh no oh no

meanwhile bombalurina’s back in love with her even MORE and she’s also like no... she’s already dealing with so much... i don’t want to make her uncomfortable or feel unsafe in her own home especially after her recent relationship trauma... i just want her to feel safe around me...

you might think tugger as their roommate would be like “JUST KISS” but he is in fact pretty oblivious because he is self-absorbed. mistoffelees on the other hand..

eventually they do have a big confession of feelings after demeter has a bad day and it’s very dramatic and they make out in the rain. and it’s like. well this is a movie scene. but also im cold and damp. let’s head inside our home and get warm and dry :)

and then they go inside and and talk through everything, all their feelings (not just their romantic feelings but like ALL their feelings) and their shared histories and bombalurina is like “do you think you’re... ready for a relationship right now? like that would be a good thing for you?”

and demeter considers it. she does stop and think. and then she says, “with anyone else... probably not. but it’s you. and i feel so safe around you, and we’re already so close. you make the future feel more worth it. you make more days alive feel not just tolerable, but something to look forward to. and knowing you’ve loved me all this time... it’s nice. it’s good. i’m - i’m understating it so much, it’s more than nice, it’s just - it’s a lot. i wish i had noticed back then.” “hey, hey, don’t blame yourself. i’m the one who never said anything.”

anyway. everything works out, and they start dating for real :)

tugger:

bisexual. 22 years old

dishwasher at the same bar bombalurina works at. she got him the job. he keeps bugging her to teach him bartending tricks and on slow nights she will agree to

he dropped out of their four year, but he managed to secure an associate’s in communications before he dipped

trying to be an ig influencer hotboy and hopefully get modeling jobs from that but his phone’s camera sucks shit so his account isn’t really going anywhere. but he continues to post his low resolution shirtless selfies

trying to cope with being the failure son who does not have a fancy nonprofit job with a salary and healthcare by being self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing

it works about 60% of the time and 60% of the times that it doesn’t he’s able to hide it

he dropped out right around when bombalurina graduated and he was like HEY! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE WHO DOESN’T CARE IF WE LIVE TEN MILES AWAY FROM CAMPUS? WELL HAVE I GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU: ME!

to which bombalurina (who has fooled around with him here and there and thinks he is funny little man and genuinely goodhearted, and also he has rockin abs as a plus) says munkustrap already asked me if i need a roommate and if i do to consider you, because you don’t want to move back home. in other words: yes, you little idiot

they do fool around with each other but they are both very understanding that it is strictly platonic and for fun, especially once they become roommates. they both do not desire each other for anything serious

he did have a bit of a crush on each other when they met (hot punk older girl who’s friends with his brother) but 1. it dissipated pretty quick after they fooled around for the first time because it was not a very serious crush 2. she was in the middle of being in love with demeter so she was focused on that, emotionally

he got his ears pierced a couple times in high school but bombalurina inspired him to get a couple more. she went with him when he got his nose pierced

demeter has always understood that him and bombalurina are strictly fwb, has never been an issue.

she and him like to bleach their hair together when their hair schedules line up (he bleaches his way less often then she does), but she refuses to use his fancy conditioner that keeps his hair unfried because it’s expensive, even though he tells her to go ahead and use it, please, the health of her hair is giving HIM anxiety, demeter please. please demeter

mistoffelees:

gay. 20 years old

has magic. it’s pretty good magic but again: magic is not a big deal in this concept

a bit spooky. skulks around. a bit of a bitch but also very very nice. chooses when to speak

he has postings on craigslist and fiverr about finding lost objects and people with magic. like a gig economy private detective

side job is a waiter at a fancy restaurant

sometimes he gets paid VERY well from the private detecting, depending on the client. he does ask his psychic friends (tantomile & coricopat) to give a quick glance over on some of the more suspicious clients just to make sure he isn’t finding someone who should not be found by that person.

doesn’t go to college. is roommates with his sister victoria, who’s a freshman and studying dance. moved into town with her so she wouldn’t have to live in the dorms by having a guaranteed roommate.

tuggoffelees:

the general vibe i want for these two is mistoffelees walking around town or driving around in his shitty toyota camry while tugger tags along because he’s bored and thinks this is cool as shit

the general tone of the au is “magic isn’t a big deal” except for tugger, who thinks mistoffelees’ magic and his magic freelancing is the coolest shit ever. this is mostly because he just likes mistoffelees. “there are people who can do cooler shit than me, tug” “yeah but i don’t KNOW them also theyre not as COOL as you” “you had to explain to me how instagram reels work”

idk how they met i just think tugger shows up at his and bombalurina’s apartment one day (this is when demeter has moved in but they havent moved to the 3br yet) with this dude to dash in and pick something up and bombalurina is like “uh. who’s this” “oh this is mistoffelees he’s SO GOOD AT MAGIC” [mistoffelees nods hello] “okay bye bombalurina see you at work!!!” “uh. later”

after that he just shows up a lot. sort of ambiguous if theyre dating or what for a while before bombalurina straight up asks like “hey does the dude you’re dating know we fool around” “the dude im - what?” “... the little magic guy who keeps using our hot cocoa mix. misty.” “oh. uh. we aren’t dating.” “... do you want to? because you’re kind of all over him constantly” “um. well! haha, if i wanted to, i could! haha!” “yeah get back to me on that”

tugger trying to use his ig clout to get mistoffelees more work even though 1. he has no clout 2. mistoffelees has a very stable client base. but mistoffelees appreciates the effort. the self-promo guy promoing someone other than himself... the highest expression of love...

mistoffelees is A Nonthreatening Man plus he’s pretty obviously gay so demeter is chill around him pretty quickly. when mistoffelees is over they’ll sit on the couch where demeter sleeps and watch documentaries quietly while she crochets

they both occasionally say spooky shit at the same time because magic stuff. bombalurina and tugger are both torn between “that was cool as fuck” and “god that’s unnerving”

just a lot of tugger following mistoffelees around on his jobs and mistoffelees letting him because he’s fond of him and them occasionally getting into minor peril and interesting shenanigans, but it is 90% fetch quests

i think the first time they met tugger was taking selfies in front of a hydrangea in a public park and he saw mistoffelees walk up with a shovel and start digging in one of the flower beds and he thought he was hot so he went over and offered to take over on the shoveling to look strong and masculine and he ended up digging up a skull, which mistoffelees picked up and said “thanks” and then walked away

mildly terrifying but also very interesting and tugger’s days are kind of boring and dishwashing kind of sucks as a job to do like every night and he is a person who thrives on novelty so. moth to a porchlight

i think they do start making out for fun here and there and then a while later theyre out on one of mistoffelees’ jobs and someone asks “who’s the guy with you” and mistoffelees replies “oh that’s my boyfriend, don’t worry about him” and then it’s like. “HUH? I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND?” “uh. yeah? i assumed. is that okay?” “i mean yeah of course i think you’re great! how long have we–” “oh like a while.” “oh. uh. cool!!”

they just hang out a lot. mistoffelees enjoys teasing him and enjoys his warmth and bombasticity and tugger likes watching and helping him solve little mysteries around the county because it’s always something new. they’re kind of a comedy duo. they just enjoy spending their time together and following mistoffelee’s internal magic gps to find lost dogs and lost necklaces

yeah right now this au is just vibes and just sort of. continuing forward with your days and your weeks and your months. just young adults hanging out

#cats the musical #mr mistoffelees #rum tum tugger #demeter cats #bombalurina #tuggoffelees #demelurina #chirps #bird in the hand

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writerofshit · 4 years

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alfredo and jeremy doing that legolas-gimli thing where they count their kills and try to outdo each other, but on a heist (romantic or platonic idc.) meanwhile trevor is the (very done) aragorn//leader who's just like "CAN WE GO NOW CAN YOU TWO STOP FLIRTING"

Oh shit, is it time for vaguely embarrassing facts about KS again? I think it is! The fun fact this time is that I have never watched, read, or otherwise consumed media from the LOTR franchise. I think I tried once and then gave up. Couldn't tell you why. I did watch A Simple Walk with Chris and Kerry, if that counts for anything.

BUT that being said, I love what you've described, Anon. It's top tier.

I imagine like... They're pulling some set up shit to get into the base of some rival crew, but not the good kind of rival? Like there are crews that they have a love/hate relationship with, like GG and and Haus and even the Roosters on a bad day, but they have an understanding, are the first ones to come to the others' defense if need be. Those are fun rivals.

But no, the crew theyre after this time is full of fuck-off types of assholes, involved in some Actually Fucked Up Shit, hell bent on climbing the criminal ladder and shoving off anyone they feel they need to. So fuck them.

So it's Fredo, Jeremy and Trevor on this particular endeavour. Fredo and Jeremy are there (there being in the woods perched up in trees with sniper rifles, that is) as muscle, and Trevor is there (there being sneaking into the compound wherever the other two have deemed clear) to have a 'chat' with the leader.

It starts in the truck on the way. Fredo says something off hand about having to carry the team. Jeremy takes offense, says he's a way better shot than anyone gives him credit for.

"I'm not saying you're bad, but you're not as good as me."

"Bullshit! I can absolutely hold my own!"

"Against anyone else, sure."

It turns into complete childish bickering, of course, and Trevor's up front vaguely wondering if it's possible for his eyeballs to completely roll out of his head. Eventually they settle on a bet, here an now, whoever takes out the most guards wins.

"Does the loser have to buy dinner?" Trevor jokes.

"A) im not gonna lose, and B) I'm not buying you shit, Trevor." Jeremy says quickly, the implication completely sailing over his head.

Poor Trevor thinks, you know, when they get out there, they'll have to shut up, right? They'll focus on the job amd being at least somewhat stealthy, right? Surely they won't continue to throw jabs back and forth over the comms, keep a running scoreboard, right?

WRONG, because that's exactly what they do!

Trevor's sneaking around a corner and he hears a body drop, which. Some fuckin warning would be nice, you assholes. It's followed immediately by a (way too loud) laugh and "that's one more for me, in your face Fredo." A few minutes later a guard outside of the main building drops, again startling Trevor. Then there's Fredo in the earpiece "that's even, actually. Oh, and the doors clear Trevor."

Trevor regrets ever agreeing to this, but goes inside to have his 'chat'. It's not pleasant.

As he's running back to the truck, alarms blaring, Fredo and Jeremy are still bickering about who's kill the last one technically was.

"We both shot him, Jeremy."

"Yeah but I shot him first! That's my point!" It's definitely a whine.

"Can you two dipshits stop flirting for five seconds so wr can get the fuck out of here?"

Immediately they both start defending themselves.

"We're not flirting-"

"This is a competiton-"

"Yeah, Jeremy's an asshole-"

"Hey!"

And Trevor is just so tired. So done. So needing to the get the fuck out of there. "Oh my god, we literally dont have time for this. Deal with your feelings later, get in the car now!"

They get out, because above all theyre good at getting away unscathed. Despite his headache, Trevor blares music in the truck on the way home. Anything to drown out the quiet bickering in the backseat. Ah well. They'll figure it out someday.

#idk what this became but have it anyhow #perhaps when im sober this will be A Thing #i really do like the idea #fahc #ks talks #anon

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duskrelyk · 3 years

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tw suicide:

ya know i was just reading a post that lists reasons not to kill yourself

and maybe some of you know this, but i had planned for a about a year before i graduated high school that i would kill myself the night of the day i graduated

but i didnt, bc we were gonna go on vacation right after, and i waited

and then i was gonna go on a trip with an ensemble i was in, so i waited some more

eventually i didnt feel so bad anymore

but then something happened in freshman year, and it affected me so badly that i was gonna kill myself

but then i got a knock on my dormroom door from my ra so i stopped and answered it

and they talked to me for a bit

and i went to therapy

and after a bit i didnt feel so bad anymore

...

there have been several times since then when ive strongly considered killing myself

in fact, i wanted to as recently as a few days ago

but i was tired

i was gonna sleep and do it later

but then i didnt

and like

on the list that i read, one of the reasons was smth like "one day youll get past this and youll be so glad youre alive bc of all the new things you got to do"

and yeah

every time i couldve done it, and didnt, something good happened after. maybe the next day. maybe a few months later. but like, they definitely happened

and one of the reasons was smth like "you cant listen to music if youre dead" and damn if theyre not correct

music is everythinf to me, i dont wanna just stop experiencing it

and ik yall are probably tires of hearinf me talk about stray kids, but if i had died after graduation, in freshman year, etc i wouldnt have ever heard stray kids music, the music that gives me the most joy rn and mwans the most to me

and if i die any time soon, i wont get to hear their new music either

and its coming soon, so im sure i can manage until then

and maybe ill have something to look forward to after that, too

ig ill never know what i wouldve missed until it happens

and ik this post was long, and ik it was a lot, and ik i definitely overshared but

fuck, i might be overwhelmingly sad rn, but damn i dont wanna die

is it weird to say i wanna stay alive to hear their new music? is it weird to say i wanna stay alive so i can finally open the package that holds my skzoo plushies? is it weird to say i wanna stay alive to maybe see them in concert someday?

if it was somebody else saying that, id tell them theres no reason too small or too stupid or too weird to stay alive

because one reason is enough. no matter how small it may seem, if it keeps you here, then its the most important reason to you, and so its important, and so are you

maybe one day ill believe it about myself

#dont rb #im doing good im doing fine #tw #tw suicide #suicide #do not fucking reblog if you reblog i will hunt you down #and im only making that tag elaborate bc ik there are blogs that rb posts w simpler tags bc theyre assholes #anyway #as they say

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reesewestonarchive · 6 years

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chapter four / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

Music pulses through Nakoa’s legs, and Jenna’s body sways against Nakoa’s, pressed against him as close as she can go. She smells like mangoes, like sweat.

Nakoa inhales against her neck, licks a long line up to her jaw, sucks against it. She shudders underneath him, and Nakoa grins as she takes his hand, presses it beneath her jeans. She turns her head, pupils blown wide, and she says, “Wanna go back to mine?”

Yes. Absolutely. Nakoa feels a buzz in his veins he hasn’t in a while at the prospect, and—”Yeah. You bet.”

He’s not sure where Rem is, but he’s been gone all day. left that morning, didn’t come back, even though the car still sits in the parking lot at the motel. At least, it did, before Nakoa took to the streets to find something to take his mind of it, off of wondering where Rem was.

Probably wasted in the back alley of some bar, still downing a bottle of whiskey he’d pilfered off of some unsuspecting bartender.

Or—maybe he’s doing exactly what Nakoa’s doing now, finding somebody to bury his dick into, get off without the mountain of complications.

It’s been three days, and between sightseeing and sleep, they’re only just west of Denver, in some shitty small town that reminds Nakoa of Withervale just a little too much, but the girls are attractive, and the guys look like they could punch Nakoa out if he stared a little too long, and Rem’s been in a bad mood since Baldie.

Nakoa’ll take his chances, he thinks, with Jenna. He asks, “Are you far?” and grins when she shudders as he touches her.

He goes home with Jenna, and tries not to think of Rem when he comes.

Jenna offers to give him a ride back to the motel, but in the aftermath Nakoa really just wants a fucking shower, to wash what feels like a layer of filth off of him, and some awkward fifteen minute drive across town isn’t going to make him feel any better.

And it’s not cold out, anyway. “I’m good,” he says, as he tugs on jeans. Jean covers herself with her sheet, cocks her head to the side.

“You okay?” Her tone is just this side of concerned; she’s being polite, but Nakoa can tell she’s not really interested in the answer.

“Yeah,” he says, then, for a reason he doesn’t know, he says, “just complicated.”

“Aw,” Jenna says, sitting at the end of her bed. “I know complicated.” She gives him a glance, then says, “You a cool guy?”

Nakoa’s a loser. Unemployed and homeless and traveling across the country without any kind of a fucking plan, in search of a better life he’s not sure he’s ever going to find. Mediocrity feels less like a shadow hunting him and more like the prize at the end of the race.

Is he running away from it, or running towards it?

“I guess.” She can’t be talking about that.

“My girlfriend and I are kind of on a break.” She shrugs. “And it’s so stupid.”

“Relationships are complicated,” Nakoa says. He pulls his shirt over his head. “My…” but the word doesn’t come. What is Rem? His best friend? It’s not untrue, but he’s reasonably sure most best friends don’t fuck.

Most.

Is there a word for something in the middle, between romantic and friendly?

As she watches him, Jenna seems to pick up what’s going through his head. “Oh,” she says, pointing a finger at him. “You got it bad.”

“I do not.”

“And I thought me and my girl were complicated.”

For some reason, that pisses Nakoa off more. “There’s no girl.”

It’s the first time he’s even come close to saying the word out loud. Nakoa knows there’s a word for who he is, but it still feels wrong when he says it, when he thinks it. Not the attraction—there’s merit in sleeping with all kinds of people—but the word. The way people see it and think disgusting. Heathen.

“Oh.” Jenna’s voice is soft, and she stands. “So. Same boat.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

They kiss before Nakoa leaves, just because Jenna enjoys it, just because she asks, and Nakoa agrees because she showed him a good time, and it’s the least he can do. He wishes her good luck with her girlfriend and stomps back to the hotel room.

Where Rem sits, outside of it, empty fifth clutched between his knees. He doesn’t hear Nakoa approach, but he does react when Nakoa touches his shoulder, jerks away like Nakoa’s burned him.

“About fucking time,” he says, and his voice is like a river, watery and rushing, tripping over itself in his eagerness to speak. “I’ve been waiting for hours.”

“Sorry,” Nakoa says. Doesn’t point out that Rem has a key, too. He unlocks the door. He tugs on Rem’s arm, and the whiskey bottle falls to the sidewalk, crashes and breaks. Nakoa leaves it. “Did you drink all of that?”

“It’s—” He hiccups. “Bottom shelf, don’t get hissy.”

Nakoa took… something, at the club, earlier, before he went home with Jenna. He’s awfully fucking hypocritical if he tells Rem that he can’t do this. At least he came back. At least they got away from Baldie. From Withervale.

Drunk and alive is better than the alternative.

He draws Rem into the shower, starts taking off his clothes, and Rem says, “Ooh, am I gonna fuck you over the counter?”

“Keep dreaming,” Nakoa says, as he pulls off Rem’s jeans. He’s cold, so Nakoa warms the water and shoves him under the stream. Rem yelps, but relaxes into the hot, if lacking pressure, water. His entire body goes slack as it cascades over him.

Nakoa turns away, doesn’t watch, as tempting as it is. “You get back okay?”

Rem laughs. “Please. Liquor store’s not that far away. Where’d you get off to?”

“Girl I met at the club.” Nakoa pitches his voice higher, to be heard over the water. “You have a good time?”

“Better when you’re there.”

But he didn’t ask. He’d blazed through cities, the last forty eight hours, taking small roads instead of highways, getting lost and debating over the map with Nakoa multiple times, and.

“Missed you,” Rem says, his voice quiet. Nakoa wonders if he even said it at all. If maybe he imagined it. He’s been wanting to hear Rem say it for so long. Hoping for some kind of sign.

But no.

The water shuts off, and Nakoa makes his way back out into the room, digs in Rem’s bag until he finds something suitable for bed for him. The idiot’ll pass out on the bed, if he doesn’t, and Nakoa’ll end up with none of the blanket instead.

Rem stands in the threshold to the bathroom, though, and Nakoa glances up at him, just once, before turning back to the task at hand.

“I mean it,” Rem says.

Means what? “Sure.” T-shirt, underwear. It’ll work. Someday, when Nakoa’s not counting every penny, he’ll buy Rem some new clothes, fi him back in with the style.

Nakoa, though. He needs a job, first. Something simple, something under the table. A stable place in LA, or somewhere else, because he and Rem are living off of gas station snacks and Nakoa’s stomach is protesting bite of food he eats.

But every mile between him and Withervale feels a little more like flying

He gives Rem his clothes, and before he can turn away, Rem’s fingers reach out, wrap around his wrist. His voice is soft, unlike him, when he says, “Nakoa,” and Nakoa looks up, studies the lines in Rem’s face, the curve of his cheekbones, the arch of his eyebrows.

He doesn’t know what to say, so he lifts a shoulder in a shrug and holds uncertainty deep in his chest like an old friend. Rem strokes his thumb down Nakoa’s wrist, and there’s a short glimpse of a smile before he lifts one hand, the one holding his towel, and pulls Nakoa in, forehead to forehead, whiskey strong on his breath.

Nakoa breathes it in, lets his eyes fall close as the towel unravels at Rem’s feet, as Rem closes the distance between them.

Rem tastes like whiskey, like freedom, like betrayal, but Nakoa can’t complain if he tastes like someone else. He accepts the kiss for whatever it is, and pulls back. Taps his fingers against Rem’s chest and says, “I’m pretty tired, man.”

It’s not a denial, but Rem’s different, shitfaced, whiskey heavy on his lips and in his limbs, and Nakoa likes him normal, likes him sober, likes the way he lingers. Often, Nakoa wonders if he imagines the lingering.

He doesn’t question it. But the stark difference between sober and drunk feels like night and day, and Nakoa would rather not.

If Rem asks, the answer is yes. But Nakoa prefers not giving him the opportunity to ask. It’s easier to deny him.

Sometime in the night, Rem wakes and vomits over the side of the bed. Nakoa m, eyes heavy with sleep, says nothing. Presses himself against Rem’s back when he’s done, wracking his brain for a song. Settles in on “Friday I’m in Love” after he decides The Clash might be too fast.

His forehead is sweaty against Rem’s shoulder blades. But he doesn’t pull away, keeps humming for Rem well after the song is through, continuing with Modern English and Simple Minds.

“You don't have to do this.”

Nakoa doesn’t falter in his humming, just drops a hand over Rem’s waist and tugs him in.

He pressed his mouth against Rem’s skin, not like a kiss, bur as much like one as he dares. He hums, holds Rem’s denial behind his teeth, doesn’t answer.

“Clutch,” Rem says, pressing on Nakoa’s left knee. “Middle is brake. Right’s gas.” He taps the gear shift. “So, driving. Ease off the gas a bit, onto the clutch, shift, off the clutch, onto the gas.”

Nakoa blinks. His heart beats, strong and steady in his chest. “And to move?”

Rem’s voice holds its tone when he speaks, walks Nakoa through the steps. The car stalls under Nakoa’s guidance the first three times, but Rem pushes him forward, encouragement heavy in his words, and Nakoa’s chest swells with pride when he can finally drive his way across the parking lot.

They traded in the junker for this piece of shit, more torn up than the last. It smells like weed and vomit and pine trees, but it gets better mileage, and the speakers aren't blown out, and Rem won fifteen hundred in a bet on the game two nights ago.

The Earth feels less like Jello beneath Nakoa's feet.

Rem grips his thigh when Nakoa turns through the parking lot, pleased as he lets out a yell, and—oh.

Nakoa kills the engine, and the car comes to a slow stop. “Fuck.”

But Rem waves it away. “It’s great! Shit, I burnt out Billi’s clutch the first time I tried—” But at the mention of his mother, Rem’s expression falls. He shoves open the door, says, “Enough for today.”

They’re in Utah. Have been for a few days, after replacing the windshield in Colorado, after Jenna.

Yesterday, Nakoa got inexplicably homesick, stared at a payphone for five minutes, and convinced himself not to call.

Barely.

They settle into each other’s seats. The beauty of this van, Nakoa realizes, is that it isn’t; an old, clunker of a beast, with the back seats torn out and a sunroof modded in. Except for showers, they don’t need motels anymore.

Their trip got a hell of a lot cheaper. And, heading into LA, Nakoa’s not sure how far their money will go.

Relieved to be out of the driver’s seat, back under Rem’s practiced hand, Nakoa reaches for the cigarettes and lights up.

His voice echoes. “Think we can find a mattress?”

“One that isn’t covered in shit or blood?” Rem shrugs. “Guess we’ll find out.”

They do; kind of. They definitely find the mattress. An old, stained old thing from an old woman in the city, who’s upgrading for her and her husband. She takes one look at the van, one look at Nakoa and Rem, and pats Rem’s hand with a twinkle in her eye. “I expect you boys will get plenty of use out of it.”

She winks at Nakoa, and Nakoa offers her an uncertain smile. Rem looks like his head is going to blow off if she doesn’t let go of it.

The manhandle the mattress into the back of the van after Nakoa hands over the twenty. The mattress isn’t stained, isn’t old, but it’s floral and weak and smells of mothballs, and when Nakoa shuts the door to the passenger seat, it already reeks of old perfume in the van.

Rem sits next to him, quiet and pensive. Doesn’t start the van.

Nakoa waits, but ten minutes and he’s still sitting there. “What?”

“What’d she mean by that?”

By… what? “Who?”

“Getting use out of it. That’s not fucked up to you?”

For the— “Rem, she probably meant with girls.”

“…Right.”

“You’re really worried about what some random old woman has to say about shit?” Nakoa’s not exactly out and proud, but this isn’t under his skin. Rem picks at what’s left of the polish on his nails, his body tense and unforgiving. “Rem.”

“Never mind.”

He’s ashamed, then; that’s what that means. His mothers, he has mothers, and he still feels shame. Nakoa’s own family makes jokes at the expense of people like them, has told him that if one of their children was queer they’d set them straight, and Rem’s the one sitting here worried about what this old woman thinks of them.

But it’s not anger that courses through Nakoa’s veins, thinking that. Instead, confusion muddles his brain. He tries to think of something, anything, to make him feel better, but there’s nothing. Not words, anyway. Nakoa licks his lips, he’s about to suggest that they go to a park, or an abandoned parking garage or something and they can christen the new mattress, but Rem puts the van gear and drives off.

They hit up a department store for the sheets, and Nakoa spends twenty minutes glaring at on-sale camping gear trying to find sleeping bags that don’t look like shit while Rem searches for pillows, and Nakoa feels the weight of his remaining money in his pocket like a brick.

He’s not sure how much is left. Between the van, the motels, food, Nakoa’s sure it’s dwindling. Rem says nothing, just brings home dinner, whiskey, less and less every day.

Nakoa buys the blankets. What else are they supposed to do—go back home?

They find a place on an empty road, far from the city, that night, coyotes howling in the distance, a small campfire built out of the back end of the van. Rem hangs his legs off the van, stares up at the sky. A bottle of whiskey sits between his legs. Bowie plays softly in the background.

Nakoa’s not sure of the last time he’d been this happy. In Utah, of all places, so far from home that Withervale feels like a separate fucking planet.

In the clear night, the glow of the crackling fire, Nakoa wonders if Rem would agree. If he seems happy, or if he is happy. Rem never fucking talks to him, tells him to fuck off if Nakoa gets too close. If he missteps. He’s a jackass.

Nakoa’s afraid of how much he likes him anyway. If, once they get to LA, if Rem will enjoy it. If he’ll enjoy it too much.

He reaches for the whiskey, pleased by the noise Rem makes as he goes for it. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

Rem’s laugh comes stark and surprising, echoes across the empty space, and Nakoa wants to kiss him until he feels that warmth through his entire body. “Probably the only thing I can get up right now.”

Snorting, Nakoa lifts the whiskey to his lips, savors the taste, the taste, and heat that pools in his stomach. “This is,” he says, but doesn’t know what he wants to say. Captivated by the stars, by the scenery. But Rem’s quiet, comforting presence beside him—

Nakoa wants to kiss him. Press him into the flowery, old mattress behind them and undress him, kiss down his chest and blow him, press into him until Nakoa’s name rests on his lips soft and tense. Until Rem clenches his teeth and his groan comes from his chest and.

Fuck. He wants, so much, to make Rem feel so good that he forgets what the world has done to him.

“I’ve thought about living off the land before. Away from the city. Own a little farm or something.” An orchard. Some goats. Chickens, the modern dinosaurs they are, and Nakoa presses his finger against the ankylosaurus tattoo on his side. Thinks back to the artist that did it for him, briefly, and what he’s doing.

If he remembers Nakoa at all.

“Get the fuck away from people,” Rem says. He sounds tired, now, drunk. He hops from the van and kicks dirt over the fire. It’s dark enough that Nakoa can’t make out Rem’s features without direct light.

“Yeah.” But not Rem. “Dunno. Don’t wanna get kicked in the head, either.” Doesn’t want to give Rem up. He holds that deep inside his chest, though, locked away where he hopes Rem won’t find it, where Nakoa himself won’t be tempted to look.

When Rem says nothing, Nakoa crawls up the mattress, knees scraping the cool metal of the floor of the van. He tugs one of the sleeping bags over his body, presses his face into his pillow and sighs.

He’s not sure when Rem shuts the door and joins him, but Rem lies there, on his back, until Nakoa’s loopy with exhaustion and alcohol, and on the verge of sleep. Nakoa hears him say, “I—”

And then Nakoa passes out.

#road to nowhere au #my writing #I do a poor job of showing it but nakoa is bi

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missjackil · 6 years

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My Diary to the SPN Finale

Day 5

Today I think was a little better. I had the day off work, which is always a good thing amirite? But it definitely wasnt without its grief. I had some asshole comment on a thread of mine that shes happy for the guys, anything else (ie grieving) is just selfish. I told her that someday when she loses someone she loves, someone tells her “theyre in a better place, your grief is just selfish”. which sure, was harsh on my part, but then the little twit started following me, and blocked me. So, she can read and reblog my stuff but I cant see what she says. Ill block her myself maybe, but shes really just an unsympathetic coward.

Moving on

In my rewatch, which I always do... I had been on s14, and had gotten to Nihlism. The first of my adored Wincest Trifecta... half way through I remembered Sam is gonna get upset and say “You were gonna leave and not tell me? Me. Do you know how wrong that is? How unfair?” And I decided I cant handle that right now. So, on to Prophet and Loss? No, because thats a whole episode of Sam trying to talk Dean out of dropping off the face of the Earth and ending with him saying “I believe in us.... why dont you believe in us too?” and Nope... cant do it. And well.... Lebanon is gonna kill me in so many ways, especially Johns speech at the dinner table. So, how about some nice safe S11?

I cant shake this feeling theres something theyre not telling us. Whether it be knowing in advance, or something happened recently that changed everything... it just seems so weird especially after last con to change their tune.

My friend Dawn came over tonight. Shes the one who got me into the show in the first place. She thought I was kidding when I said I burst into tears in the middle of work when I got the news and got sent home, but when I told her how it went down she just didnt realize how deeply it hurts me, so she took me for icecream and we came home and watched some of her fav s12 stuff.. She asked me “I want to ask a serious question, and I dont mean to sound snarky, I just want to understand...How did you ask any time any other shows you loved ended?” And I told her “No other show had the same affect. And its not the monsters and stuff, thats all fine, its Sam and Dean. Its ALL Sam and Dean, they could have been cops or Drs or freakin House flippers but they did something to me thats never happened before, and wont ever be matched again. I just hoped it would be around long enough for me to get tired of it”

Ive only known of these boys for 3 years. I wish so badly I could have loved them for 15 years like many of you have, or that I didnt start watching till it was already over, so I wouldnt hurt so badly.

#Spn finale diary #day 5 #my stuff #its going too fast

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firebuug · 6 years

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ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team:

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi)

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far)

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

#shut up bug #rambles #LONG post #txt #ocs #buggy #gene #mendel #juggernaut #farrow twells #skuggy #pokemon #happy #i really love pokemon au!!!

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toastsnaffler · 4 months

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ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(

#its not the end of the world like theyre not artists i LOVE love just ones i know and like a few tracks of #last year i had so much fun bc one of the artists there was an all time fave of mine. but yeah im not missing out on that this year #but its still a shame. i miss living there and being able to walk to gigs to easily like the music scene was so up my street!!#and i was kind of looking forward to it. but i shouldve planned it further in advance if i was serious abt going #i just didnt think theyd BOTH play so late???? i swear they had an earlier schedule last year #i guess i could just go and mill around some of the shows earlier in the day even tho ive skimmed most of them on spotify and theyre-#not rly my thing. sigh #im v tired + starting to feel quite sad this evening for some specific reasons i dont really want to think much about bc it is what it is #so its hard to imagine going out and having fun tomorrow. maybe ill just aim to get my chores done instead and see how i feel after that #i might fix my bike up and check the other local climbing gym out bc i havent visited that one before and itd be nice to mix it up #and i need to go out on the bike at some point this weekend so i dont build up anxiety abt it after yesterdays crash. hmm #man. its hard trying to do things solely for my own enjoyment sometimes. im usually pretty ok at making myself do it #and im grateful that i am! but i think im just feeling quite lonely. and not in a way where being around other people rly helps #like its more of a core thing. i feel kind of unseen by people in my life at the moment and that makes me feel like im not quite real #and i dont really know what to do about that. i think its why im still on my discord hiatus i just dont really have anything to say rn #ive felt this intermittently throughout a lot my life i think. but most of the time i can distract myself from it enough not to notice it #and i put the effort in socially regardless + usually when im in the moment it doesnt matter. but the stretches inbetween those moments..#its not unbearable and i dont feel that depressed at the moment either. just a bit lost i guess. i know itll pass eventually #but yeah it just keeps nudging up against me bc im feeling every little misunderstanding and slight quite keenly atm #ahh.. well its okay. ive never really needed much anyway im good at taking care of myself and thats enough to get by #ill do something nice for myself this weekend one way or another. im gonna go take a long shower rn i think and then read a bit #ah and i said i didn't rly want to think about it! but i guess i did... well i feel like i exist a little more for typing it out anyway #okay yes shower time now :-)#.diaries #maybe someday ill have ppl in my everyday life who i do feel seen + safe around. a girl can dream.. i have a lot of work to do before then

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topeve · 5 years

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enjoy :) 4, 7 (what is your opinion on baby by justin bieber covered by ana ivonne being the villaneve anthem), 13, 15, 31, 37, 53, 64, 66, 75, 82, 83, 93, 94, 96, 105, 114, 118, 134, 145, 151, 163, 164

I’VE NEVER ANSWERED ASKS ON MY LAPTOP BEFORE BUT THIS PHYSICALLY MADE ME GET UP AND LOG ON BC I CANNOT DO IT ON MOBILE

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

hmmm honestly it was probably super mario world 2 on my gameboy advanced. it’s been like………….literal years but i’m in the LAST world of levels so m gonna beat it SOMEDAY

7: What’s your opinion on baby by Justin Bieber covered by Ana Ivonne being the villaneve anthem?

i SAW ur post about it and my immediate reaction was, admittedly, mixed emotions…………mostly bc like……….i wouldn’t associate Justin Bieber of all people w one of my favorite ships. HOWEVER upon listening to it?????? it’s growing on me! i like how sultry the cover is & i’m really thinking about adding it to my villaneve playlist! so thank you for that!!!!

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

i would Die for both of them—i like them for different reasons???? sometimes u jus really want a more interactive presence (dogs), but then cats are so independent……. the overall verdict is prob cats tho…..cats purring or doing the brrmph? poetic cinema

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

jenna marbles jenna marbles JENNA MARBLES

i dont watch anyone else because i dont really have time but if i want to see some QUALITY content i watch jenna marbles……..i beg of you……watch the green screen video…..you’ll know what i mean when you see it

31: Do you get scared easily?

uhhhh idk it depends on the circumstances. i can get real nervous over stupid things like a party but if i almost get t-boned by another vehicle i’m perfectly fine (because i’m dead inside)!

37: What is your eye color?

dabs on that beat. theyre a deep brown. i like em

53: How are you feeling right now?

i’m ok! i’ve been really stressed lately but right now i’m super chill and sleepy

64: Favorite animal(s):

penguins (my best friend is actually a penguin i met in a german aquarium type thing), tigers, frogs

66: Favorite emoticon:

THE ONE I USE THE MOST OFTEN IS 😅

75: Can you do a front flip?

that, my friend, is a resounding no!!!!! on a trampoline i can but not normally. also, i am scared,

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

i love my guitar……..i went on a weird hiatus with guitar playing because i just didnt have the time but someone left a guitar in the classroom the other day and it was like rediscovering an old flame

83: Favorite person to talk to:

oh god idk there’s too many people i like talking to???? though a friend sent me a rly sweet message out of the blue the other day and it was super refreshing

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

if it’s hot coffee usually i max out at 2 but iced coffee????? no limit, no limit at ALL i dont CARE if i get the jitters it be like that sometimes!

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

THERE ARE SOME THINGS I DONT WANT/NEED TO KNOW so i’d much rather fly my ass around in a circle than read minds idk like….hearing people’s uncensored opinion of u or others….Dont Like That

96: Winter or summer?

summer!!!!!!!! the winter is SO long here it’s like 6 months so by the time we dont have snow on the ground i’m DYING for the sunshine

105: Do you drink milk?

JFGHEIURHGIRUGH i answered this one already but YES i’ll drink it straight out of the carton i have no sense of self preservation

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

sunny! kind of for the same reasoning as the winter/summer question. it gets really tiring when the weather is so gross all the time so my body is like permanently soaking up sunshine whenever it gets the chance. the only thing i hate are the flies bc theyre nasty

118: Do you have freckles?

my brother does but i dont?????? if im in the sun a lot i tend to get some speckles but my face is normally clear of anything

134: Do you like roller coasters?

YES I LOVE THEM i DIE for rollercoasters i went on this SUPER cool one where it was literally going upside down and backwards the ENTIRE time i’ll NEVER forget it

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

i’m bilingual, so two! i speak english & french fluently or super close to it—french is sort of in a complicated spot bc i dont really get to use it a lot which results in losing some

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

probably ancient egypt they were real cool and funky and its amazing how developed they were at the time in comparison to other civilizations

163: Last time you cried and why:

not 2 be emo but yesterday just bc of general stress and stuff yknow?? sometimes you just really need to cry and get it out of your system to feel better

164: Do you have long or short hair?

SUPER long—doesnt look like it at first because my hair’s naturally curly but when it’s wet or straight it’s nearly butt length,,,,,,, i dont really like it since it gets in the way all the time so it’s almost ALWAYS put up or tied back and out of my face. hoping to chop it off sometime this summer and do smth different!

holy HECK that was an adventure. thank you sm for the ask u are the REAL mvp!!!!!!!

#woanonna #asks

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Man i feel like i can actually FEEL the teeth in my lower jaw starting to move back into proper alignment to fill the gaps where the wisdom teeth got taken out. Its so weird its like sideways ache? Like theyre being pushed out? Just makes me realize wow how tight and awful they were before. Makes sense that this whole thing caused my front teeth to shatter even though its a back teeth problem. They just got pushed so tight they overlapped like bologna and then snapped in half and got all gross plaque infection in the cracks. Now they got rid of the asshole wisdom teeth and they also did reconstructive surgery on those bologna teeth so now they look EVEN BETTER THAN THEY DID IN THE FIRST PLACE!! Srsly lol they had no frame of reference for what they really looked like so the replacement caps ended up being perfectly sized and straight instead of the big wonky ones they used to be. I actually like my smile for the first time in years!! But man its so worrying to think all these teeth were pushed halfway out of their sockets from all the pressure of the wisdom teeth, and now it looks like i have big gaps where the wisdom teeth used to be but theyve already started closing in just two days since the surgery. Wiggly wiggly sideways back into where youre supposed to be! Teeth are so weird i never knew anything about how teeth works!!!

Also the weirdest side effect of anesthetic is it apparantly gives you problems peeing for 24 hours. Even after all the head fuzzyness was gone and i didnt feel tired or anything, it was like i constantly had to pee but nothing was happening. Had to sit there for ten minutes at a weird angle to get gravitational support lol. I guess that means the muscles in your urinary tract continue being paralyzed longer than the rest of you that got knocked out? I also wasnt able to crap until just now, who would have friggin expected that tooth drugs could mess up your ass? XD Wonder if theres any other parts of your body that the anesthetic wears off more slowly but you dont notice cos its less vital? Like did my ability to smell asparagus go away? Did my spleen temporarily take a nap? Was i unable to wiggle my ears but id just never know cos i couldnt do that anyway? ITS SO WEIRD

Oh also for some reaosn it took quite a while for the tooth pain to kick in at all, and the worst pain has been in my throat. Apparantly they had to hook me up to breathing apparatus during the surgery and the tubes in your throat often leave it feeling scratched afterwards. It just bugged me so much more than the teeth cos it made it hard to drink anything to rehydrate like they wanted me to. And heath hospital does THE BEST MOST FAMOUS HOSPITAL TOAST and it was soooo hard to swallow it with my throat but i had to cos it was amaaaazing~! All the nurses were so nice so i couldnt say no even when the salty crustyness of delicious was destroying my windpipe. It would have been a noble death!

Also odd is that i have a bit of an ache lower down my neck, like a muscle lower near my diaphram and also one under my chin kinda? Thats the same one that was hurting when the wisdom tooth was in there so it makes sense, but the lower neck muscle is weird. I guess maybe i just stretched it bad at a weird angle while i was unconcious and didnt notice til the anesthetic totally wore off

Anesthetic is so weird!!!

Also like i dont remember ANYTHING about it? It somehow gave me amnesia of stuff before the injection? Is that normal? Ijust renember sittibg on the bed and them saying "hey were gonna wheel you over to surgery now" and then i was waking up in my recovery room three hours later. Dont remember the bed wheelies or getting the injection or the count backwards from ten or anything! I guess thats good cos i was so worried i was gonna say or do something embarassing while i was groggy and now i guess i'll never know. But i feel like the doctors wouodnt have been so nice to me if i had said something stupid, right? And then after i woke up i didnt have any of that comical goofyness either i just felt totally sane but sleepy and dizzy whenever i tried to stand up. And a bit of amplified anxiety but not as bad as i was expecting, i just panicked a bit to the doctor and needed to know a bunch of questions about the surgery to know 100% for sure that it all went right. I was worried that i'd ptsd flashbacks of my childhood or something and embarass myself.

It all ended up going a lot better than expected and i didnt die and i didnt embarassment and all the doctors were SO NICE and just basically i was so scared of my first time going to hospital and it went so well that now im way less scared if i ever need to have surgery again someday! And i can face it with a fabulous looking smile!!

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lesbow · 7 years

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relationship klance

we always talk about pre-relationship klance like what about the actual relationship ya feel

to start off they absolutely get together in the dorkiest way possible like its either 100% sappy or 100% embarrassing and by accident there is no in between

they did that fanfic corny scene where lance was about to confess and keith realized before he even finished his sentence and just goes for the smooch

except its terrible theres too much teeth and their noses crash into each other its just a mess

its also both their first kiss

even after they both confess its takes them like a week to get up the courage to ask each other out bc theyre both nerds

lance plans on trying to keep it small bc he thinks keith doesnt really want anything big and cheesy

keith plans on absolutely making it as cheesy as possible bc he thinks lance would prefer big and cheesy to small and ordinary

they literally plan to ask each other out on the same damn day

keith asks hunk to make lances favorite food for lunch and asks pidge to hook up the projector so they can watch an altean romcom they wont understand anyway but catch keith trying to take notes during the fluffy scenes

hunk and pidge tease them to hell and back but theyre really happy for them so they go through with his requests

lance and keith both keep looking at each other during the movie wondering if they’ll be like that at some point and blush throughout the whole damn thing

everyone else thinks its so so so fucking cheesy but oh my god hunk and shiro are so happy for them bc its been a long time coming

at dinner they sit extra close to each other and casually brush fingers. theyre obviously blushing throughout the whole thing

its just a week of blushing okay

lance gets so happy and smiles so wide when he realizes its his favorite food that keith just stares with a soft expression and when lance meets his eye they both blush but keith doesnt look away as fast as he used to bc he can have this

after dinner they walk to the map room to look at the stars bc its become their thing and lance has had Enough with the brushing hands so he offers keith his palm and keith fucking swoons when they interlock fingers

they both planned to ask each other out at the star deck so obviously both of their plans crash bc after a weird silence where theyre BOTH thinking hard and turning into blushing, fidgeting, and sweating messes they turn to each other with the same glint in their eye

they say it at the same time

lance and keith.jpg

and then they turn into giggling messes with fond looks bc if this isnt foreshadowing how amazing theyre relationship is gonna be than idk what is

ROMANCE ENSUETH

in the beginning theyre just really really really nervous still bc theyve both been pining for a long time and dont wanna mess this up

when they start out, lance initiates most of the physical contact first like hand holding, putting his arm around keiths shoulders, that sorta thing bc keith is so fucking nervous and was never good at expressing himself but he eventually initiates it to he loves seeing how happy lance looks when he does

theyre both flustered messes but keith is really bad

they dont kiss yet bc theyre practically walking nervous systems

they hold hands a lot tho lance has soft hands bc of his skin care routines so a lot of times keith will just idly play with lances fingers because it calms him

keith rubs his thumb on the back of lances hand and lance fucking dies every time

lance still makes fun of keiths hair but it dies down little by little bc hes always wanted to play in that dang mullet tbh

one day keith catches lance just intensely staring at his hair and before he can even ask whats up lance asks if he can do his hair

theyre both messes when lance gets behind and starts playing in keiths hair but eventually lance just gets distracted with it and keith finds it really soothing. moreso than he thought it’d be

it becomes a reoccurring thing. lance will run his hands through keiths hair and keith just loves it so much it feels so nice

it started on the couch in that lounge room they have but one time hunk walked in and keith was practically passed out with his head on lances lap and he felt so embarrassed bc it feels really intimate and they both would rather keep stuff like that in their rooms so they do

whenever they go to a planet keith tries to look for things he thinks lance would like. hes not good with words so he tries to express himself through other means

the first time keith gave lance a gift from a planet it was a cat plushie bc its pretty fucking obvious lance likes cats

its red

when keith gives it to him he stares at the ground and just like thrusts it out to him bc hes so nervous and lance takes it slowly, cautiously, and when hes stopped astral projecting into another plane of existence he kisses keith on the cheek bc he love love loooovvveess it

he names it keef and cuddles it all the time. keith always just stares like >:0 bc its really cute and he loves his boyfriend so much but also bc oh my god are we gonna cuddle like that someday omg lance is my boyfriend ohmy go d holl y s hi

he falls down the rabbit hole often

lance on the other hand loves bears and loves anything that he thinks could represent them like he’ll just point out two rocks side by side or some shit to hunk and be like “thats gonna be me and keith one day :) <3″ and hunk juts pats him on the back

DONT EVEN GET STARTED ON SEEING OTHER COUPLES IN PUBLIC

whenever theyre planet side and lance sees a romantic couple he squeezes keiths hand (bc theyre already holding hands they never stop) and gets this fond and hopeful look on his face

lance wants every planet they meet to know keith is his boyfriend (he never gets tired of saying it) so whenever theyre at diplomatic functions and they have to talk to the aliens, he’ll always bring it up somehow

it ranges from “so it must be difficult fighting this war” “yeah but having keith by my side helps” to “our planet welcomes you young paladin” “thanks and also heres my boyfriend keith the red paladin you know the right arm of voltron? that guy? yeah thats my boyfriend. my boyfriend is the red paladin his name is keith. we’re in a relationship. did you know that? its great im so happy omg this food is so good btw did i mention im dating keith and that keith is my boyfriend?”

lance still flirts sometimes but he never actually wants it to go anywhere. at first this makes keith a little disoriented and he mopes but then they talk and Communicate and lance says that he just likes to flatter people bc it makes them feel good and stuff and so they work it out. so lance still flirts but only a little and not as strongly as he used to

speaking of communication, in the beginning theyre talking fucking s u ck ed they’d misunderstand each other and it would result in sadness and venting to their respective besties but the third time they get shoved in a room and told to just “talk it out” they realized that they really need to be more open/clear about stuff

eventually they get really good at talking about things to each other. their problem wasnt that they wouldnt talk to each other it was that they just couldnt understand the other so they work on getting to know each other better and it really helps and works out so so great

they both have issues, lance with his self esteem and keith with his abandonment issues and they know that the other cant fix it bc thats not what its about but they definitely help.

unlike lance, keith knows who he is and is confident in his abilities so he tries to help him in that aspect

unlike keith lance has always been a people person and is family oriented so he tries to help keith slowly get overcome it

theyre both really good for each other. they cant “fix” each other obviously but they help one another out so much and it means a lot

they have their first kiss like two months after they got together

it was after a battle and no not a deadly one you heathens a really really awesome one the teams all smiles and lance pulled a cool move at the end when they formed voltron and they saved a planet and everyones soooo happy and when they get back to the castle lance bolts to keith and just spins him around in a hug smiling and laughing and they smooch

its the best thing theyve ever experienced

they dont stop kissing after that. catch them giving each other little pecks all the time

at this point they arent as nervous as when they first started

after long battles theyll just kinda fall into each other

they dont do it in public/in front of the team but they cuddle a l o t

keiths two favorite places are in the crooks of lances neck and on his chest to hear his heartbeat

lance likes to kiss keiths forehead bangs in the way or not if he thinks his man needs some smooches he’ll give him some fucking smooches

the first time they fall asleep together (i mean literally fall asleep not anything nasty pls dont sexualize these boys) locks in for both of them that This Is It ya know

theyre cuddling in lances room keith wearing his jacket and has his face smooshed against his chest lance is playing in keiths hair and his lips are lightly touching his forehead

its after a diplomatic meeting

theyre both really tired and keith thinks he should probably go back to his room but they both feel too comfortable and everything feels so nice so he doesnt

lance likes listening to keiths voice and vice versa so theyre literally just saying nonsense

theyre voices drift off into a comfortable silence and eventually they both fall asleep

keith wakes up first and hes confused but then he looks up at lance and how peaceful he looks when hes sleeping and just stares

lance wakes up a little while later and meets eyes with keith but then he notices keiths unruly bed hair and the small spot of drool by keiths mouth and almost cries

its the best sight either of them have ever seen and at the same time they both think to themselves that they wouldnt mind waking up like this for the rest of their lives

#this is so fucking long god im so sorry but i have FEELINGS OKAY #voltron #vld klance #Voltron legendary defender #lance #keith #babbles

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