#i got attached to all my ideas and was like u kno what. fuck it.

[choicescreen]

connected ocs, new york city at the turn of the century / early 1900s, so come get yall juice.

cecil algernon. fifty-four. triple threat vaudeville performer. cecil grew up in the business. his entire family formed a traveling troupe, and they haven't slowed down, even if they've splintered and joined various acts throughout the years. cecil got an audience of his own after his bawdy song-and-dance routine proved popular with the younger crowd, eager to push boundaries, and infamous with the aging crowd -- all since passed on. since then, his life has been one of non-stop action. passionate, earnest, and always heard. never married, the stage is his passion. he considers the younger performers his children, more or less.

freida radzin. thirty. caberet singer and in-a-pinch nurse, former circus performer. optimistic and imaginative, freida thrives in just about any environment. when she isn't working nights, she helps her father -- a pickle salesman -- with the business, and scrubs floors with her younger sister. her older sister is a milliner, and her little brother is still attending school, and will be the first in the family to graduate with a high school diploma. fluent in yiddish.

pakur "patrick" al-muqri. forty-four. immigrant ship doctor. pakur didn't necessarily attend medical school. as a young boy, he was chosen to be a surgeon's assistant on a boat crossing the atlantic en route to america. that's where he learned the ropes, and spent more time on the sea than he did dry land throughout his twenties. soft-spoken and no-nonsense, pakur can sometimes be read as an unapproachable recluse. through his work, he advocates for the rights of immigrants, especially children. polyglot, part of the job.

marion larue. thirty-five. saloon owner, former circus performer. the only one who didn't stay in a metropolis, marion's found his niche owning a bar in a nondescript midwestern town. tenacious, foppish, occasionally arrogant and vain, though incredibly charismatic, so it's hard to stay mad at him for long. still performs his magic tricks, but only if you ask nicely. light in the loafers, queer as a three dollar bill, etc etc -- it's a bit of an open secret where he's moved to, and not one at all back in new york. him and freida are best friends.

[teyanavi22]

i hate u, i love u

Pairing: Lo’ak x Omaticaya! Reader

Warning: None…except immense heartbreak!

Plot: Your love returns but his heart belongs to another now.

Song: i hate u, i love you by gnash

NOTE: This is my work...don't copy it...plz. I also know there are probably many errors...I'll fix it later so please don't say anything. Still getting back into writing after years of not writing.

~~~

Feeling used, but I'm still missing you And I can't see the end of this Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips And now all this time is passing by But I still can't seem to tell you why It hurts me every time I see you Realize how much I need you

You missed him. His family was in danger, so you understood that he had to leave. Before he left he gave you a bracelet. He knew you couldn’t leave your family because they needed you.

“This is so you have something to remember me by. One day I will come back for you. Never forget me.” The love of your life spoke. He placed the bracelet on your wrist before giving you one last long kiss. With that he turned to leave with his family. That was the last time you saw him for months.

*Time Skip/Months later*

You were in the forest helping other women from the clan to gather crops for tonight's feast. Every day you never fail to think of the love of your life. Your heart and feelings never wavered for him. You hold strong hope that he would come back to be mated to you for life.

Others around you tried telling you to give up hope that one day he would come back or that he would still even love you. Some told you that what you guys had was a young love that was never going to last when you got older. You told them they were being ridiculous. You told me that the love you and Lo’ak had for each other was so strong that not even Eywa herself could break it.

You were happily adding some fruit to your woven basket when the idea popped into your head. You would go to Lo’ak to surprise him and move where he was so you wouldn’t have to be apart any longer. 

You explained to your family what you wanted to do. How Lo’ak was the only one you wanted and you would do whatever to be with him. Despite being sad, your family gave you their blessing and told you to be happy.

That night you got on your ikran and went to where it was rumored the Sully family where. Night and day you traveled with your heart filled with anticipation and excitement to see your love.

After many days and nights you have arrived at the Reef clan. You heard one of the members signaling a newcomer has arrived with a shell. You get off your ikran and slowly approach the villagers. They look at you with curiosity as to why you have come. You looked around to see if you could spot anyone you recognized when your eyes landed on a very familiar girl. Your best friend, Kiri.

“Kiri.” You exclaimed with excitement. Her head snapped over and her face filled with excitement. She ran to you and practically knocked you over when she took you in for a bone crushing hug.

“Oh my gosh y/n! What are you doing there?” She was excited to see you. 

“I’m here because I couldn’t stand being apart from him any longer.” You stated. Instantly her face began to fall.

“Y/N…there is something you should kno-,” Before she could finish speaking you heard someone call your name. You turned to see him.

You ran as fast as you could. Even when your lungs needed a break you couldn’t stop your legs from moving. Your mind was consumed about being in his arms.

Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you

“Oh Lo’ak! I missed you. You have no idea.” You exclaimed as her arms wrapped around her neck.

“I missed you too y/n.” He says with a chuckle. He pulls away from the hug and you go to kiss him but he places a hand in front of you.

“What are you doing y/n?” He says in a low whisper as he glanced around as if he was making sure no one saw. He seemed on edge and almost appalled that you had tried to place your lips upon his.

“I am kissing you silly. I missed you so much.”

That is when you noticed the girl walking up to you both. She was beautiful. She stopped when she stood next to Lo’ak. You looked in between her and Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak who is your friend?” You asked with a smile as you looked at her. She suddenly placed her hand in his to show you without words that she was more than a friend to him. You felt your breath get hitched in your throat.

“Y/N-uh some things have happened since you last saw me. Tsireya isn’t a friend. Her father’s clan took us in. During that time we got really close,” he paused for a moment as if he didn’t know how to even talk to you.

“She is my mate.” Those words instantly made your heart drop as if it was thrown to the ground and shattered like broken glass.

“Yo-Your mate.” You stuttered out. You instantly reached for the bracelet. You felt like tears were going to spill. Your legs felt weak. You felt like your ability to speak was taken away from you. You couldn’t do anything except start backing away. Tsireya looked confused. Lo’ak tried to walk forward to offer you words of comfort but you shook your head.

“Why did you even come here? You shouldn’t have.” With that you turned away with a broken heart. A part of you yearned to turn around and wish for Lo’ak to say he was pranking you. That never came. You walked away hoping you would never see him again.

I hate you, I love you I hate that I want you You want her, you need her And I'll never be her

You couldn’t go back home right away. There were supposed to be storms so Jake and Neytiri made you stay despite your protest. Even if their son hurt you they still cared and wouldn’t allow you to risk your life going back home. 

During your stay, you tried your best at avoiding Lo’ak. No matter where you went you saw them together. Word got back to Tsireya who you were but she forgave Lo’ak as he had no intention on leaving her.

You couldn’t seem to get away from them. They were everywhere. They were picking fruit while flirting with one another. They would be hugging after the feast near the bonfire. They would share kisses out in the open. What hurt the most was watching them ride ilu together. Each time you saw their displays of affection your heart ached badly.

All alone I watch you watch her Like she's the only girl you've ever seen You don't care you never did You don't give a damn about me

You knew in your heart it was time to move on. You untie the bracelet from around your wrist and drop it in the ocean. There was no need to hold on anymore. When the day of clear skies came you left quietly not saying a word, putting your love for Lo’ak Sully behind you.

You want her, you need her And I'll never be her

[joyseuphoria]

She hated how much she liked him now

Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!

The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!

You can read it here or on ao3

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 16:00)

Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up

Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?

Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will

Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh

jamie finally asked lily on a date

Peter Pettigrew: Wait what

Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej

when 

how 

tell me everything 

Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date

voila 

Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black

or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 

Sirius Black: empty threats

if u really wanna know u can go ask em

(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)

Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 

_____________

THE CURLY SQUAD

(Tuesday 17:00)

Jamie Potter: good riddance 

thx marls 

Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon

now spill 

Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)

Lily Evans: that she does;)

Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl

(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)

Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 

Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy

I didn't like it

Jamie Potter:.........thx??

Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie

_________

THE CURLY SQUAD 

(Tuesday 17:34)

Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!

__________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Wednesday 16:30)

Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?

Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)

Mary Macdonald: hell yeah

Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc

Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius

tho ik its a foreign concept to you

Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously

And of course I wanna spy on them

Remus Lupin: but still...yes

Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds

YAAY

Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 

Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??

Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up

Remus Lupin: how did u know that?

Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno

Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 

Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?

Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them

Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd

Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you

I’m her best friend

Sirius Black: prove it

Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!

Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)

Marlene Mckinnon: shit

Mary Macdonald: …...fair

___________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:45)

Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 

Lily Evans: ik u cant 

Jamie Potter: 

Lily Evans: <3

;)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 

(Thursday 19:48)

Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 

lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!

what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!

(Message read at 19:49)

______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Thursday 19:51)

Jamie Potter: :D

_______________

Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 

(Friday 16:30)

Jamie Potter: u ready?

Lily Evans: yes ! 

wher r u

Jamie Potter: cool

just reached ur door

______________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:30)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 

its only me and marlene here

Mary Macdonald: just outta class 

be there in 10

Remus Lupin: home

Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream

Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?

Remus Lupin: me too pls pete

Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too

mint chocolate chip for me pls

Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??

Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!

Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc

Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!

also charcoal ice cream pls

just as black as my soul

Peter Pettigrew : ...k

U marls??

Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:45)

Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?

theyll b here any sec

Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here

except for u and marlene

where tf r u guys?!!???

Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 

where tf r u guys????

Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here

Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?

Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 

Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!

Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?

why?

Sirius Black: to dress up ofc

Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?

lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this

and v cant afford that!!!!

Remus Lupin: that is smart….

didnt expect it from u both

Sirius Black: fuck you remus

fuck you

Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??

Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 

a gily suit

a moon suit

rat whiskers and ears

a tree hat and glasses

and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend

Dorcas Meadowes: ………….

Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw

Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here

 Sirius Black: remy how could u

Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 

i thought u loved me

Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?

Remus Lupin: also sirius 

do u really think that we can pull it off?

itd be tooo obvious 

Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them

Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened

do you think that theyll realise that its us???????

Remus Lupin: …...point

Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 

marls gonna wear the gily suit

the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 

Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 

and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)

____________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 16:55)

Sirius Black: ok now positions!

marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 

nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside

Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???

Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously

Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 

Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??

Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 

ever heard of privacy?

Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!

Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?

Sirius Black: thank u dorcas

Mary Macdonald: yeah!

exactly 

Remus Lupin: …………

i give up 

Peter Pettigrew: Just now?

Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/

Sirius Black: that was a good laugh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:04)

Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 

Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together

Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!

Sirius Black: yes

and yes they look perfect 

our ship is finally sailing 

Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose

Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus

Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more

Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?

Sirius Black: lolol

the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks

Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills

Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????

im ur girlfriend!!!

Mary Macdonald: lolololol

she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol

Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same

i thought she had more sense than that

Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know

Sirius Black: u would know

Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!

neat

Mary Macdonald: lily did it too

Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 

Remus Lupin: ya think?

u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?

Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie

Sirius Black: nah she didnt 

if anything lily hates how much she likes her now

Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?

Sirius Black: yeah ig

jamie wants it to be all fancy

Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup

Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup

Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em

Thought she wouldn’t today

At least

Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one

Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol

Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 

Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome

Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!

and including taylor’s song

shehgeueytoaknd

Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 

Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months

:/

Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it

Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it

Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 

Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other

Sirius Black: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here

Sirius Black: spinach soup???

ewww jamie 

Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig

Awesome choice 

Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things

smh

___________

JILY LAMES TALK

(Friday 17:16)

Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?

we ordered a lasagna 

Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 

ohhh look 

Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY

Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??

Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no

Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute

Remus Lupin: lol

Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date

Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 

Remus Lupin: or come here with us

Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then

Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah

It was quite a rough time for her

Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss

I have a question 

Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?

I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much

Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete

Sirius Black: LOLOLOL

Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 

Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so

None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 

Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi

u r ace

dorcas nd mary r pans

remus is gay

jamie is lesbian 

Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 

u already knew that but still

Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 

Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow

Ok

Thanks guys 

Sirius Black: np pete 

Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!

Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect

Sirius Black: nauseating more like

Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off

Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily

even first fits in the category 

Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!

Bold

Sirius Black: is that…...snep

Remus Lupin: snep?????

Dorcas Meadowes: Where

Sirius Black: behind u guys

Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK

Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date

Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….

Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit

Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright

Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig

Mary Macdonald: yup hes in

Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD

COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!

Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/

Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon

Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf

Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?

Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?

Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant

oh we r playing call remus wrong names 

sry I didnt realise

 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do

Sirius Black: LAMES

Remus Lupin: but i had to lol

i think v should go stop him from disturbing them

Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way

its too late

Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them

Sirius Black: ill tackle him 

Marlene McKinnon: perfect

Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too

not that im worried abt that

tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 

Sirius Black: v shld go

Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves

But ok!

Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 

Sirius Black: but im their best friend

Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking

Sirius Black: NOOOOOO

Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name

Sirius Black: seems that way

if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it

Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….

Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know

Sirius Black: ok im gonna go

Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??

Sirius Black: lol yes

Marlene Mckinnon: is he

is he pointing over to us

Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us

Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?

Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid

_________

“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 

“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 

“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 

Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”

“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 

“Marlene,” Lily warned. 

“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 

“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.

“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.

“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 

Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 

“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 

“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”

“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”

“Lily, please.”

Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 

 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 

Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 

“I...“ Lily began.

“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”

“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 

“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 

“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 

“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 

The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 

“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 

Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.

“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”

“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 

Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 

“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”

“So we would be incognito, Mary”

“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.

“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 

“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 

“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 

“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 

“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 

“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 

“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 

“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 

[softspt]

penny beaufort, 24, baby spice —

yes this is her graphic no i don’t take anything seriously yes i was inspired by word art for this 

24, hot girl, biggest role model is nicole richie but specifically on the simple life ? she’s cute or whatever

one half of the dairy queen mafia, drove her bike drunkenly into a dq sign and got a dui for it and probably would’ve gotten her license suspended if she didn’t fail her test in solidarity with her best friend bc shes #loyal babes. hot girls can’t drive anyways

literally has never had a coherent thought in her life, please, you’re asking a lot of her ? 

was homecoming princess her sophomore year of high school and (unsuccessfully) led a campaign to make her friends call her princess for the rest of time. OTT to say the least, but in a fun .. sexy .. sort of way ..

likes being a big fish in a small pond, not the other way around. she's loud, and quite dramatic, and likes being known etc etc. Small town famous, probably would've been the subject of a pop punk diss track if she were of age in 2006. 

stage 5 fuckin' clinger! needs to feel needed, but gets weird when people try to cling to her, so it really doesn't make sense. she gets attached to everyone so easily: talk to her at a party for four minutes? you're her new best friend. once she drunkenly convinced herself that a fire hydrant she was sitting on a curb next to was her newest friend and cried when her friends told her she couldn't take it home. 

doesn't have regrets because honestly she probably forgets her bad decisions 2 seconds later bc she's distracted by smth shiny! hopeless romantic, literally would fall in love a wall if it told her she was pretty ok .. the bar is so low !!! 

lit never has any idea what she's talking about. a fuckin' ditz but she's cute and always well-intentioned so like.. whatever she can get away with it. 

neeeeeeeeeeeeedy! And loves being the center of attention ( not that she'll ever admit it ). hates it when she introduces two people and they get closer to each other than they are to her. easily made insecure by small "slights" like that, and in response, instead of talking it out like an actual human being, she either gets very clingy or will ghost entirely to see if you ever really cared about her. 

like half of her family is dead LMFAO and she thinks it’s a curse so she’s just out here acting reckless bc “it could be me next” or something like that 

falls in love fourteen times a day and falls out of love fifteen ! has a group text with all her exes just to ask if they still think she’s pretty and when someone is like “why am i still in this chat” she cries .. 

wanted plots:

yung messy things from miriam’s well baby ! she’s a 4 lyfer (except for the few years she spent in LA trying to be an influencer but really just spending way too much money and getting a minor dr*g problem) and probably has a big group of friends that she’s known FOREVER? all messy and in each other’s business 25/8 u kno what i’ll write a request for this eventually 

exes like so many exes .. please .. she’s dated everyone in town that’s remotely in her age bracket .. dumped someone for having nicer hair than hers and then cried even harder because she was like oh my god i should have shaved it off .. she’s a bicon so pls ex gfs and bfs and non binary partners .. all here .. yeehaw baby 

an ex who hates her but she annoys relentlessly w friendship because she HATES the idea of anyone actually having bad feelings towards her ... it doesnt sit right like shes so cute n fun how could u ever ... but this would be fucking hilarious bc truthfully penny is ANNOYING MKDSJFSD LMFAO ! 

anyone who works with the beauforts at their bar or distillery! all of the (alive) siblings are always in and out and penny thinks drinks are always free and plentiful, so she’s there fairly often!! and is probably annoying to serve because she thinks she knows what she’s doing so she goes behind the bar to serve herself! 

also make a beaufort .. lightly hill house inspired but half of their family has RIP-ed and they all think it’s a curse! is it? maybe... but that’s one secret i’ll never tell .. xoxo .. gossip girl .. 

[cat-tastr0phe]

hello new ppl, today sucks so imma talk about the two shows i binged last night to try and not break down for a 4th time today. 

talking about Jujutsu Kaisen and Onyx Equinox, will probably have spoilers so don’t read if you don’t want them!

Jujutsu Kaisen:

so for starters, i usually love mappa animes so i had high hopes for this one, especially with how much others seem to like it but i gotta be real guys, it wasn’t a fav

i plan to keep watching it bc i DO like the characters and animation but the story isn’t rly hitting it for me. perhaps i’ve grown out of the need for torture porn anime but god i could do without all the death/violence/needless depressing shit

also the pacing in this anime is whiplash inducing. its not that its hard to follow, bc most of the story is linear thus far, but it just. feels so off??? like one second he’s being told ‘we’re gonna execute u’ and the next he’s having idle conversation while picking up his grandpa’s ashes like WHAT LMAO

fushigoro’s hair will forever irritate me, also

gorou is a zaddy tho, hello sir, pls remove ur blindfold more mmm yes

ok but the story- so i get that this whole show/story is centered on the idea of negativity and curses and basically exorcising demons, so ofc its gonna go into the ‘life or death, humanity judgement day’ point of conversation but when i tell u i’m so tired of this philosophical bs being put on a pedestal in anime BOI

when junpei shows up and u show me copious amounts of scenes of him being abused and tortured relentlessly, OVER MULTIPLE EPISODES, alongside all this death bullshit throughout the show, ONLY TO KILL THE POOR KID AFTER THEY KILL HIS MOM- i’m out man, i cANNOT

i didn’t even have time to develop some form of attachment to the character, i just felt bad for him. why are you going to introduce this tortured person who is lost just to kill him? its so blegh story-telling it kills me

and for what, to just??? motivate the protag?? make him question his already questionable humanity??????? what is the point, pls explain

in general by the time i caught up to the most recent eps i was already fairly drained mentally. i don’t think its a good thing for a show to drain u LOL

i THINK i’ll keep up with it for a bit just to see if it goes in any sort of a better direction, but idk

love the opening tho. would also love some explanation on the panda

Onyx Equinox:

so also another violent anime but this one at least feels idk purposeful???? bc its portraying creatures that are blood thirsty and idk it just made more sense in my brain

i didn’t think i’d be a fan of the animation, but its actually p good! the style is comfortable, and the gore is like- while still gross/icky, its cartoonish enough that i don’t feel icked out

the voice acting is okay, tho Izel’s has got me uh,,, oof. not a fav, is all. 

also i curse like a sailor but the cursing in this show forever felt random and out of place, like i could do without like 80% of it

ALSO i kno the point is that Izel is like, the worst humanity’s got but CAN SOMEONE CUT THE KID SOME SLACK. half this show was nonstop bullying this 13 yr old, liKE CAN WE PLS,, HE LOST HIS SISTER, TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF, NOW IS A PUPPET FOR THE GODS PLS SOMEONE JUST HUG HIM OR SMTH

which i kno, Yun does eventually, don’t think i didn’t see the hints show, i think i’m picking up what ur putting down

gotta say for a split second i was like ‘well idk if anything like that will be in this show tho, doesn’t totally fit and its a first of its kind kinda show-’ and then there was the orgy scene and im like ‘o nvm’

K’in annoys me a bit, sorry not sorry, he’s like too much of a shit-head bro for me

regardless of all the suffering and struggle porn that this show does have (sorry guys, there’s a lot of struggle porn and u have to admit it) i did genuinely find myself rooting for these kids and that’s a good sign to me

if u can make me care and make me wanna see them prevail, good job. s’not like its that hard to do but i don’t usually watch animes with this much violence that don’t completely make me not care whats happening

i REALLY hope this gets a s2 bc i wanna see where its going!!!! also mad i never realized that fucking heron is probably nelli, how dumb am i

i’d love to hear what others think about these shows, cus currently no one in my friend group has watched both or is far along in them to be able to chat so!!!! 

[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[mejomonster]

I'm afraid that this romance was only possible because Bai Lin, the homophobic gay, intervened to make impossible for himself to be together with Jidu, since he was so much in love with Bai Lin, that he would have never spared a single glance in Xi Xuan's direction, even when he believed that Bai Lin didn't returned his romantic feelings and only wanted to be friends, just like what happened to Ruo Yu because Xiao Yinhua was too infatuated with Sifeng to notice Ruo Yu. Jidu would only have developed feelings for Xi Xuan if Bai Lin simply never existed. But I agree that, if Sifeng managed to convince Jidu to come back home with him, Sifeng would have happily rode that Moran sized devil dick for the rest of his life unlike that coward who was too up his own ass to entertain the idea of a romantic relationship with Jidu. Even when he was the god of war and a woman, Bai Lin still married a goddess but put a red string of fate in her life pillar and gifted her his flower of blessed love, so she would not feel too lonely, funny that this flower was used to save Sifeng's life after he got stabbed by Ruo Yu and Bai Lin lost his mind consumed by jealousy when he saw Xuanji giving his flower to Sifeng lmao

i kno i didnt respond to this the other day but. WHAT did u even leave me to say? ToT this is perfection. i’m leaving it here. thank u for this. wow in a Better Life the timeline was just a Bit different and Xi Xuan got Luohuo Jidu’s attention, maybe married him (wouldn’t a Second additional inter clan marriage also help keep peace?) and is enjoying the rest of their life together uvu (oh well, at least we can happily say sifeng/xuanji ultimately get that anyway in their last life, just... sooooo much more suffering they couldn’t have met in the 1st life ToT)

mo ran sized devil dick is making me lose my mind thanks a lot

bai lin really was a fucking evil dumbass wasn’t he. he had all THAT and fucking didnt even Appreciate It. AND YOURE RIGHT the fucking bastard even HAD lhjd as god of war, a perfect puppet willing to believe anything he fucking said, and he STILL didn’t marry her or even let her idk get less damn attached to him. he just did the fucking ‘tie you to me’ thing and then kept using her while not committing. bai lin is just. is there anything he HASNT done wrong honestly. every thing that man does i just. how can i hate someone more. truly homophobic gay of the Year

ok so. while luohuo jidu Was infatuated with bai lin by Heaps. I did rewatch the ep 56 scene where bai lin and luohuo jidu talk about the war, right before lhjd drinks the wine. And from what they said (now that i’m calm and not mid watching the whole thing and burning up wanting bai lin to croak) - bai lin is the one who went and made friends with luohuo jidu. presumably who tried to start up their relationship/friendship. (Then apparently also the douche who friendzoned lhjd because he’s??? what a devil?? but bai lin friendzones god of war too so?? - then keeps lhjd/god of war as a possession basically and keeps trying when god of war finally snaps and has to do reincarnations). 

Anyway from a rewatch of the scene.

At least in the drama:

bai lin was interested first and started the friendship (my guess is either he thought lhjd HOT/heroic/charming who wouldn’t, and/or he thought having a general for a friend might be valuable then couldn’t believe how much he ended up in awe of lhjd)

bai lin felt lhjd being a devil was an issue

bai lin ‘fixes’ the issue and gets who he wants

bai lin either can’t accept god of war is Still ultimately that devil and/or that he hurt this person he wanted so badly so he can’t bear responding to god of war’s feelings (that’s the nicer potential interpretation assuming he has any remorse in his evil body)

god of war snaps and he thinks as usual selfishly ‘oh no i’m losing the person i want’ and when she starts reincarnating does his damnedest trying to get xuanji back under control so he can have her again

the flower that shows love incident i think you pointed out once? showing bai lin is still real intent on wanting lhjd/xuanji even after all this shit

bai lin finally fucking tries to marry xuanji after HOW many years, but xuanji isn’t naive lhjd or puppet god of war and she’s NOT doing what he wants anymore!

bai lin may or may not be aware he maybe ‘wants’ xuanji like lover wants. even if he’s still insisting he just wants control (which i mean - he wants control more cause he has not ever shown a loving action). im assuming on some level he’s been refusing to act on the desire to be lhjd/xuanji’s lover all these years because. he is 1. STILL hung up on the idea devils/gods cant be friends or lovers (and he reinforces that belief by telling the human realm to imprison star of mosha bottle for so long). 2. he might be guilty on some very subconcious level that he Betrayed lhjd, sweet lhjd, all that time ago, and made him into a not-devil immortal puppet, and still kinda thinks he shouldn’t take lhjd/xuanji as a lover if he’s already done enough harm (i Wish and would like to Hope he has this last tiny crumb of decency left, but given he’s willing to marry xuanji in the final life i suspect he finally let go of this smidge of potential decency still given to lhjd after all the shit that happened)

sifeng is with xuanji and SUCK ON THAT bai lin. who knew. letting xuanji have her own fucking agency. and being a GOOD fucking person. was all it took. well and being attractive to her. but bai lin had that going too with lhjd and still fucked it up. 

xuanji gets the lhjd piece back that bai lin cut up, god of war re-emerges to push the now fully integrated 3-part xuanji to go and kill bai lin’s ass. bai lin at this point is Fully committed to his delusion that devils Must Always be evil, that he must always be good, and that everything he did to xuanji/lhjd/god of war was justified since apparently she’s a ‘world ending monster.’ 

bai lin is wrong and literally everyone who matters calls his ass out. all because bai lin couldn’t just. fucking appreciate and respect lhjd as a Person. god. god i hate bai lin. (i mean i love him as a character hes a Great Villain, love Liu xueyi, just bai lin u gotta hate ToT)

*still haven’t seen novel so. idk if bai lin being the person who initially pursued luohuo jidu is also true in there or not. 

to be honest i do think luohuo jidu would’ve had a CHANCE to fall in love with xi xuan in a slightly altered timeline, IF he’d met the 2 at the same time. But you are right that once he met bai lin first, he was basically bound to be trusting and loyal until bai lin betrayed him. Because lhjd is good and kind and trusting and hopeful, and all the things sifeng is as He ends up doing much of the same grace for xuanji’s lifetimes.

[stellar-imagines]

NSFW SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝well-deserved payback?❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki ]

「Teasing Bakugou had been something you have plotted but it wasn't like you had an ulterior motive behind it. Short skirts, skimpy underwear and whatnot. It took you a while until he finally had enough with your teasing and he decided to do something.」 [ NSFW under the cut! ]

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

Bakugou was clueless. He has no idea what kind of ploy you had in mind but he was starting to get a bit annoyed by it. Indubitably, you were acting innocent and if you commit no crime. When it started, he couldn't recall but it felt like you were doing this for days. At first, it was a short skirt and not just any short skirt, its stops above your mid-thigh. It was often that he griped about you wearing short skirts that fall right on your mid-thigh. However, this was far shorter than what he was used to. He did not like it and demanded you to go change, but being the stubborn person you were, you waved it off and told him that you were both gonna be late for school.

For the entire week, his felt his patience slowly thinning as each day passes. On Monday morning―the day this whole thing started―he was waiting in front of your door, knocking impatiently while yelling at you to hurry and threatening that he would leave you behind. He pointed out about your uniform skirt which he knew wasn't so short. You waved it off, mentioning about the possibility of suddenly growing taller and further stating the fact you're still a growing child.

This continued on till Thursday. You had refused to wear your skirt properly―he had assumed you were wearing super high just to piss him off. This attracted a lot of attention from other males. And he did not like it. 

Friday, he remembered that the teacher was absent. Everyone was busy doing their things in the class. Most were discussing about the Maths homework due tomorrow and stayed on their seats, opting to ask whoever was nearby. Bakugou had already finished most of it and decided to relax until he felt a message coming in. His phone vibrated once, he ignored it. Twice, thrice, four times, five times. And on the sixth, he annoyingly pulled out his phone to see who had texted him. 

And unsurprisingly, it was you.

Just from his lock screen alone, he was able to tell that you were the one sending all the messages. He turned in his seat, his eyes moving over to your seat, only to find it empty. Just seconds after, you came through the front door, holding onto your phone before tucking it back into your pocket. Bakugou narrowed his eyes at you as you made your way over to your seat. As you were seated at the back, you were able to see your boyfriend clearly. The exact moment Bakugou had seen whatever you sent, he locked his phone after one glimpse. Stifling a giggle, you watched as he angrily glared at you before turning in his chair again. 

He was now holding his phone protectively, shielding it from whoever was nearby. The moment you felt your phone vibrate against your thigh, you knew that he had responded to your text.

[First Name] [Last Name] hey katsukii look look [Image Attached] dont ignore me i kno u will like this im gonna spam till u pull out the phone katuski beb katsubaby give me attention

Bakugou Katsuki the fuck you thinking? sending a picture like that when we're in school?

[First Name] [Last Name] i felt a bit cute and wanted to share isit a crime to be nice and generous? ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ so what do you think of my new underwear? isnt it cute?

Bakugou Katsuki wtf are you wearing it right now?

[First Name] [Last Name] are you actually curious? (　￢ ֊ ￢) what if i ammmm? are you blushing? ( *≧艸≦)

Bakugou Katsuki no im not and will you fucking stop with wtv ure fucking doing?

[First Name] [Last Name] im not doing anything（〃・w・〃） im just texting my lovely boyfriend, showering him with attention

He hated how you were so good at keeping this up, feigning innocent and all that. No, he was more surprised at how long he had endured your antics. His own patience and endurance shocked him even more than your persistence and new ploys. But even so, his patience was running thin. He managed to send you a few more texts before the next teacher came in to finish off the day.

Bakugou Katsuki you better fucking watch it later, princess

What was more irritating was what happened afterward. You had been summoned by Aizawa to assist with a few things which actually took a lot of time.

Once you got back to the dorms, the girls were in the kitchen, trying to whip up some dessert. Bakugou had reminded you about the homework that was supposed to be handed in soon and you asked for some help with it. While you skipped over to the kitchen after hearing Uraraka call you over, the ash blonde sat on the couch. With the long counter in the way, you had no choice but to go around it. Leaning forward and standing on the tip of your toes did nothing but reveal more skin of your upper thighs. He couldn't help his staring, can you even blame him for blatantly staring at your supple thighs? Just a few more inches and with you bending, he could see the curvature of your ass. Narrowing his eyes and exhaling loudly, he made a mental note to remind you of consequences of enticing him.

However, once you felt your boyfriend's eyes boring into your back and shamelessly checking out your legs, you found yourself smirking a bit. Jirou, who was mixing some melted chocolate had walked over towards you, asking if the mixture was okay. You glanced at Bakugou, noting that he was, indeed, staring at you. Attention shifting back to Jirou, you acted like you were ignorant about your boyfriend's gaze on you. Leaning forward until your butt was in the air, you swiped off the chocolate from the spoon Jirou was holding and had a taste. Bakugou's not-so-quiet hiss didn't go unnoticed and it was hard to contain the shit-eating grin that threatened to replace your innocent smile.

What on Earth are you wearing?! It was small but he was certain that it wasn't a g-string since the band was much thicker instead of being super thin. Whatever the fuck it was, he was pissed. How could you wear something so scandalous in public?

Too busy mentally cheering at your success, you failed to notice your boyfriend who had closed the distance between the two of you and was now looming over you. And when wordlessly grabbed your hand and dragged you away from the girls, you kept your innocent look, telling them how you had overstayed a bit. It wasn't a surprise when he pulled you into his room, locked the door and pushed you against it. His nostrils flared at the sight of your smile and his hands caged your body, preventing you from escaping.

"Care to explain? Drop the innocent act."

"My intentions are very pure. I was just trying to tease you a bit."

"By wearing short skirts to school where everyone can fucking see you, sending me panty shots in the middle of class and bending your ass over to show off your underwear?" As he listed the things you did, he was once again, amazed at how long he had endured.

"I was willing to let the skirt thing go. But the picture, anyone could've fucking see it." his hand moved from the door to your thigh, slowly sliding upwards until he felt the waistband of your panties. He grasped your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"You've been wearing this kind of shit the entire fucking day?"

"Oh, I've been wearing them all week." you seemed to be elated that your teasing had worked.

You gasped when his leg slipped between yours. His head dipped onto your neck, lips brushing against your jugular as he bit down to leave a dark mark on your skin that might last for days. The sensation made a whimper slip from your lips and Bakugou smirked after eliciting such a reaction from you. His lips curved into a sly grin as he moved his head to whisper in your ear. One of his hands slipped to your hips, the other still remained on your thigh, fingers digging into your skin as he jerked his knee, rubbing it against your panties. It drew out a rather loud moan, cheeks flushed as you hoped no one heard you.

"You're such a goddamn tease. No, you're acting like a fucking slut, desperate for sex. Showing off your ass when anyone could've walked in on you." he growled.

Being the one with their hands free, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Your hands moved frantically, unbuttoning his shirt and your hand before running your hands down his chiseled body. The gentle touches you left against his skin gave him goosebumps, making him groan in your mouth. You pulled away, tongue lolling out with a string of saliva connected to Bakugou's tongue. The hand on your thigh moved upwards to stroke against the material of your panties, just on your crotch, smirking deviously as he felt the material damp with your slick.

"So wet already, Princess."

He easily got rid of your panties, slipping his finger into your heat. You couldn't contain the moans and whimpers, your body involuntarily arched your body into his. Bakugou didn't hesitate to slip another finger inside your core, spreading them and stirring it inside you, relishing the way your insides tightened around his fingers. You couldn't stop your hips from moving, grinding against his fingers and moaning against his ears.

"Look at you, moving your hips so desperately. You look so lewd trying to get off from my fingers." he grinned maliciously.

"It's not my fault that you look hot when you're frustrated." you shot back. His fingers went even deeper, even curling inside you. Grasping his shoulder, your eyes clenched shut as you mewled his name, thighs twitching. He moved his hands to give your clit a few quick rubs. Your eyes rolled back as he nipped at your earlobe. Your climax was about to hit you and Bakugou could feel it from the way your insides convulsed around his fingers. You hisses when his fingers slipped out of your heat.

"Katsuki, why'd you stop?" your eyes were half-lidded from pleasure, breathing still ragged as your thighs shook. Fingers still coated in your slick, he moved it against your clit, effectively shutting your protests.

"It's not fair if you get all the fun, right? After all that stupid shit you pulled. I'm gonna take my sweet ass time with you." Bakugou growled deeply. All your clothes were tossed and the two of you stood against the wall, engaged in a kiss. His movements were rough and he dominated your mouth, sensually pressing his tongue against his and allowed them to dance. Your hands run up his arms, gripping on his shoulders while he squeezed your ass. He liked seeing you like this, face drunk from pleasure and eyes needy. He forced you on your knees, facing him. His erect dick was hovering over your lips.

You start with small, little licks that made his entire body shudder. He can never get tired of this sight, seeing you on your knees, slick oozing from your pussy and trickling down your thighs. Wrapping your hand around his length, you pumped it hard in your hand. This earned a groan from Bakugou who sank his finger into your hair, scratching at your scalp and urging you to continue. You licked long stripes against his length before sinking onto him, taking his entire cock into your warm, wet mouth. His breathing began to speed up and you could tell that he was really feeling it.

"You always look good on your knees sucking my cock. You really like sucking dicks, huh?"

"You like this? Taking my cock into your mouth and giving it a suck? You enjoy the taste of my cock?"

Unable to reply, you moaned around his length, sending vibrations across his entire dick. Bakugou groaned, his cock began to pulse around your mouth, the need to cum was growing stronger with each time you sucked. His grip on your hair tightened and began thrusting his hips. You gagged at the feeling of the tip hitting the back of your throat. He moved faster, watching as you struggled to take him in. Your hand squeezed his balls and Bakugou let out a howl. He watched your free hand snaked down to you neglected pussy, rubbing at your clit before pushing them inside your wet heat.

"So fucking naughty, getting deepthroat like this turns you on, huh? You enjoy this? Do you like it when I fuck your mouth? God, your pussy is leaking." 

Bakugou pulled out just before he could cum which shocked you. His cock was still throbbing, precum dripping from the slit. Both of your breathing were unstable but it took a while to regain your normal pace. He forced you up and facing the wall. Out of instinct, you found yourself bracing against the wall, hands pressed against the wall with your ass pushing out. Your pussy twitched as Bakugou teasingly rubbed the tip of his cock against your clit, smearing his precum all over it.

"Mmm.....A-Ah....." you exhaled as Bakugou slowly pushed his entire dick inside you. He stayed still for a good 10 seconds, giving you time to adjust to the sudden intrusion of his cock. He held onto your hips and began rocking them back and forth slowly.

"Mnghh...." the pitch of your voice rose when the tip of his cock hit you deep inside.

He began pushing his hips forward, starting a moderate pace that you were able to keep up. It wasn't fast nor was it too slow. As he did so, your head tipped back, mouth hanging open as you moaned his name uncontrollably. His hands were on your hips, moving your hips to his own tune. His right hand came to your front, rubbing circles on your clit. This position gave him a good look at you from behind, the dip of your back and the curve of your ass.

"Katsuki.....fuck!" you cried out when he pinched your clit. You kept your head down, biting your lip to suppress the moans. Your breasts swung along with your body, nipples hardened as the cold air blew against them.

While you were busy trying to maintain your position, Bakugou moved his hand to cup your breasts, kneading the flesh and pinching your nipples. Yet again, you threw your head back, back arching and ass rising, head rocking back and forth against his movements. Your entire body shook due to his pounding and you can't even do anything but respond to his movements. Bakugou groaned, the tightness of your pussy against his cock was too good. He dipped his head, sucking at your skin, leaving yet another mark on your neck.

"Do you like this?" It came out as a raspy growl, sounding more demanding than he had intended to.

"Y-Yes―Aaah!" your eyes widened, back arching when you felt a sting on your ass.

"You love being fucked against the wall, don't you? You're such a dirty girl." His thrusts became harder and violent up to the point your hands began to slip and you had to use your entire arm to keep yourself steady. It was hard to keep up, your body was so sensitive and can't even get him to slow down, considering the position you're being held in. A loud smack echoed in the room, your body tensed at the tingly sensation on your ass.

"Yes, I love it.....I love it, Katsuki.....!" you gasped. His hands went back to your hips, pushing you against the wall. The feeling of your bare nipples against the wall made you mewl. Bakugou lightly nipped your skin and leaned close to your ear.

"What do you love?"

"I love your cock inside me! I love being fucked against the wall by you....Aaaah, feels so, ahhnn, so g-good!" 

"Who's the best, huh?" he snarled.

"You are!"

"That's it, cum, baby. I want to hear you scream my name when I shoot my cum inside you. Cum for me, princess."

"Katsuki! Ahhnn~!" With one last scream of his name, your back arched with the feeling of electricity shocking your entire being. You stilled for a second, walls clenching tightly around his cock. Your whole body reacted, trembling and quivering as you came on his cock, arousal coating his length. Bakugou came with a loud groan, shooting strings of his cum inside you that had you moaning at the warm feeling building in your stomach.

He pulled out, releasing his grip on you which resulted in you sliding onto the ground. Your could barely stand and you felt your thighs twitching. Bakugou licked his lips, seeing you sit helplessly on the ground, your abused hole twitching slightly with a mix of his and your cum oozing out. It was a delicious sight. He loved seeing you reduced to a mess, that blissful look on your face after being fucked thoroughly, the way you relied on him for everything because you were too tired. It stroked his ego.

Bakugou lifted you up with ease, forcing your back against the wall. Your draped your arms around his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist. He held you with one arm and his free hand grasped his dick, guiding it to your soaking entrance. He pushed the tip in and pulled out, he did this over and over as if telling you how slick your pussy had became after the first round. He pushed into your core with one movement, succumbing into the pleasure he loved to feel.

He squeezed your ass and you spread your legs even wider. Bakugou began to thrust faster, accuracy increasing with every thrust. It wasn't long till he found that spot which made your eyes roll back. You didn't know how he could manage such a fast pace while being so on point. 

"Fuck, you're always so fucking tight. Your pussy gets so tight around my cock. Whose pussy does this belong to, hm?"

"Yours Katsuki! Oh my god―Please fuck me harder.....Aaaahn...Ah! Faster! Deeper!"

"This ass....." a squeeze to your ass.

"This pussy....." he gave you one hard thrust.

"And these tits....." a fleeting kiss and a small suck on your nipple.

"......they're all mine." he smirked against your skin.

His room became echoed with the sound of your ass clapping against his pelvic area, your moaning loud in his ear as you leaned your head back against the wall.

"Tell me, princess. Who's pussy is this, hm?" he stopped his thrusting with his cock buried deep inside you. He leaned close to your face, watching as you let out soft whimpers with a sinful look on your expression.

"Ngh.....!" he groaned aloud, eyes scrunching shut as he came. You studied his face, a look of complete bliss all over his face as he ejaculated. Even as he pulled out, he was still cumming, painting your stomach and thighs in white. You were spent, muscles begging for a break.

You leaned your entire body against the wall, using it as a support as you slid down. Your bottom stung a bit but the cool flooring was soothing against the burning skin. Bakugou who was busy taking a break finally made his move. He lifted you up, his legs a bit sore from standing too long. He laid you on his bed and your groaned at the feeling of your muscles relaxing. Your breathing was heavy, he can see it from how your chest was rising up and down rapidly.

"You're a sore loser, Katsuki. My body is aching all over now." your arms and legs felt like jelly and it was certain that you wouldn't be able to go back to your room tonight. A soft sigh escaped your lips, turning to the side, eyes scrunching in disgust at how sweaty your body was.

"You brought it upon yourself."

"I knooow." you moaned dramatically, the ache of your muscles preventing you from moving too much. Bakugou glanced back at you, seeing how uncomfortable you looked, sweating and completely exhausted. He should've held back a bit. 'I think I overdid it.' he cursed to himself, standing up from the bed. His legs were aching too, from how fast he was thrusting earlier but it couldn't compare with your soreness.

"What do you want?" Bakugou grabbed a random shirt from his closet and slipped it on.

"I want your love." you winked with a smile.

"Whatever, dumbass." he rolled his eyes.

Total: 3474 words Published: 03.10.2019

We’re open for some limited edition prompts featuring Fall and Halloween! Read more here!

Thank you for requesting! *｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و*｡ Oh, ha ha, isn't it a bit hot in here? Who else thinks that Bakugou dirty talking is fucking hot? Cause I do! (*ゝω・)ﾉ Can't say that this is my first time, since I've had experience writing smut but I tend to stick to the basics. I still have along way to go, actually. So, anon, we hope that we managed to satisfy your thirst with this. ― author Hibiki/Lou

Thank you for requesting! It's October! There are a lot of people doing Inktober, Kinktober while we chose Halloween prompts. We want to do a lot of things too but Lou is the main writer of this blog and she'll be busy with her studies since her holiday is ending soon. Anyways, we do hope you enjoyed this and sorry to make you wait for so long! ― author Natsuki

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Idea--Shadowhunter training might not go into sex further than 'have kids' but it's brutal and rigorous. So Alec is used to hiding noises, so much so that he's quiet during sex. Magnus of course, worries. Is he doing something wrong? Why hasn't Alec said anything to him? Is he not attracted to him and just trying to spare his feelings? They do talk about it... eventually. Maybe after a smackeral of angst.

jdjdjdndidndidndi i thought you meant that shadowhunters are specifically trained to hide their sex noises im so fucking stupid dudndidndidnk i swear to god that i can read

but that's.... an interesting idea actually. i tend to think that wasnt really how it went cuz i do get the impression that once Alec decided to have sex he really let it go and got into it, u know, plus i may or may not be a lil attached to my "Alec is great at dirty talk" headcanons lmao. on the other hand.... amgst

also i mean while i do think that once Alec decided to say fuck it he really said fuck it, and that tbh he had been repressing for so long that once he got what he wanted he was all but helpless to stop himself from diving right in, there are things that eventually become second nature. that u never even stop to think about. and that shock you when you realize they can be a different way. so yeah, i could see that too, this kind of "doesnt let go of soldier mode even in a completely different setting" thing. and if i were Magnus id legit cry idndjxmxixmdk like if my partner looked kinda neutral and disinterested?? not to mention noises are some of the best parts. #LetTopsMoan2020

also u can easily throw in that sweet trans magnus angst of course u kno, like "he seemed into it at first but then he saw my body and he just.... wasn't. maybe he's attracted to me because i pass but when he gets to see my full body thats too much for him. it's fine. it's happened before. maybe if i do better he won't mind it too much - it was just the first time, i just need to figure out what he likes" so he goes on this little disguised quest to figure out what turns Alec on, and it just leaves him more confused, because alec jumps on him as soon as he gets the chance but then it's just.... the same. silent, looking more focused than in pleasure, and it just made magnus feel more self conscious of his moans and screams u know. so eventually he starts to not get into it, because it just makes him more insecure anyway, and maybe he should just offer to use a glamor or something, because clearly his body turns Alec off so much nothing he does can help it-

and meanwhile Alec just. adores his body and loves every moment of having sex with him, loves eating him out, loves the way he moans. but also i mean there's the inevitable part where he's not fully letting himself enjoy it, because he's still holding back, still seeing it as some kind of exercise. tbh we all know alec's an overachiever and he's probably so focused on giving Magnus pleasure, on doing well, on performing that he doesn't allow himself to fully get into it. he enjoys it, of course he does, but he doesn't even know that theres so much more to it than the tiny part that he's allowing himself to feel

and the thing is, Magnus knows exactly what that's like, because for the longest time he saw sex as a service he did for others, too. theres obviously the Camille sexual abuse part, the way he felt like pleasuring her was what would earn him love, affection, even respect, make up for his other flaws, for his body. but also there's the post-camille stuff, the way he threw himself into sex as a coping mechanism, to feel more in control of his own body. but he never fully allowed himself to relax and get into it and would rather focus on his partner. because it felt too dangerous to let go. because he had a role to play, and something to prove. and that's exactly what he feels from Alec right now

so they're both a little tense and focusing way too much on the others' pleasure and communicating way too little and it's all pretty ironic, but Magnus doesn't realize that until the talk inevitably happens. and it's heartbreaking, because he eventually approaches Alec to ask him if he wants him to use a glamor, and Alec is all like what are you talking about i told you i love your eyes? and Magnus has to explain and Alec is like *jazz music stops*

because he really never stopped to think about it and he didn't notice and he didnt even know that he was doing it? and it's all kind of heartbreaking because Magnus tells him that he knows what it's like and recounts all of his previous sex problems and Alec is appalled. and Magnus even kind of admits that he had been trying to get Alec to enjoy it for so long and he didn't know what to do anymore- and Alec's like i think we've both been idiots

so they agree to redo it, only taking it slow this time. long sessions of kissing and making out and dry humping and exploring each other and themselves. and you know, Alec is pretty much only confident when it comes to direct, clear verbal communication, so he starts to be all like "love it when you moan like this," "you look so pretty when you spread your legs for me," and Magnus is helplessly turned on by it and it shows and Alec goes "oh, you like it, dont you?" delighted and surprised and that only gets Magnus more hot and thats when they find out that Alec loves to talk during sex, and Magnus loves to hear him :)

and from then on things sail smoothly djdndjxn and its an amazing experience for them both, to learn (and in magnus' case, relearn) to trust each other and their bodies, to enjoy themselves, to let go. it's amazing and they couldn't be happier to do it with each other :)

[bastardnev]

Broken (But Not Beyond Repair)

yknow i spent a whole lot of time referring to this as “the valentine’s fic” but meanwhile valentine’s day is mentioned like Once during this whole story. Nevertheless !

tagging: @sailor-slam-dunk @residentjoth @riveliciousx @lambchopviking @storyranger @nerdbrose (lemme kno if u wanna be added to my tag list !!)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: Valentine's Day, sorta but not really, its more mentioned than anything else tbh, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, i guess, Making Up, au where nev still lives in orlando and also has a big fucking dog, mustafa worries a lot, Implied Sexual Content Series: Part 2 of Jess Has Too Many Fics In Her Notes Summary: By all means, Mustafa shouldn't have even been thinking about Neville anymore. It had been over two years since he left WWE, and they were both at completely different points in their careers. It was pointless to dwell on the past or give any real thought to what could have been — all that mattered anymore was what the future held, and it looked like their respective paths were headed in opposite directions.

And yet, despite all of this, there Mustafa was. Seated in his rental car, in the parking lot of some cheap motel he had planned to spend the night at. Neville's number dialed on his phone.

(link to ao3)

By all means, Mustafa shouldn't have even been thinking about Neville anymore. It had been over two years since he left WWE, and they were both at completely different points in their careers. It was pointless to dwell on the past or give any real thought to what could have been — all that mattered anymore was what the future held, and it looked like their respective paths were headed in opposite directions.

And yet, despite all of this, there Mustafa was. Seated in his rental car, in the parking lot of some cheap motel he had planned to spend the night at. Neville's number dialed on his phone.

Mustafa stared down at the screen, squinting against the bright light. The rain rhythmically tapping against the roof of the car left him in almost a trance-like state as he debated whether or not to hit the "call" button. This wasn't the first time he found himself in this position — he was tempted to get in touch with Neville just about every time he and the rest of the WWE crew passed through Orlando during live event tours. He would usually only get as far as his contacts list, however, and he was never actually able to bring himself to make that move. Once he learned that the latest show would see him in the area again, he assumed that things would play out as they normally did, with him backing out at the last second and pretending like he had zero interest in seeing Neville.

But that didn't happen. This time, the urge to get in contact was so strong , far more than it ever had been. To the point where Mustafa was in the car and fully prepared to drive right over to Neville’s house. He had no idea what exactly it was, but he had arrived in town with an almost overwhelming feeling to just bite the bullet and do it. A sense that he needed to stop putting off something that was killing him not to do. He wasn't even sure where it came from, but it was certainly there — a feeling that he needed to reach out, to call, to talk to Neville again after so long of little to no contact.

To possibly rekindle a relationship that had meant so much to him.

To put it bluntly, Mustafa and Neville's relationship was, at its core, supposed to be just sex. Nothing more than that. "No strings attached", they always insisted. Once a week ( maybe twice, if they were feeling up to it), they would meet up in a hotel room to fool around, to blow off steam after a show. After Raw, after 205 — they weren't picky. Whenever they were both in the same place and could meet up, they spent the night together. It was nothing more than that, at least at first.

But then, it... changed. It had been gradual — Mustafa hadn't even noticed it right away — but the times they shared started to become something else. Before all they had done was meet up, do what they had to do, and then go their separate ways before anyone knew what they were doing. They did their best to make sure that no one even had a suspicion that there was anything going on between the two of them, hence why Mustafa would always go back to his hotel room after they finished. Whoever he was rooming with normally didn't ask too many questions so long as he was back from his "late night walk" ( horrible excuse, but it worked) at a reasonable time.

Then Mustafa started to actually stay the night with Neville. The first time he had simply been too tired and lazy to leave. The second time had followed a very similar format, only Neville didn't put up as much of a fight. Every time it happened thereafter, Neville cared less and less, and before either of them knew it it had become an established part of their routine, their desire not to clue anyone in on their secret be damned.

And then came the invites to each other's houses. It had started as a way to save money whenever tapings were in Chicago or Orlando, but before long they had becomed planned affairs, with one spending anywhere from a day to a whole weekend at the other's home. They acted like this was so they could hook up easier (and more frequently), but the fact was that those nights were... fun . More fun than they thought they would be. It wasn't just sex anymore — they were cooking together, and buying way too many snacks together, and eating those same snacks as they binged the dumbest fucking movies together. (Stupid Movie Fridays, they'd taken to calling them, though they weren't opposed to other days of the week being devoted to corny films.)

They were... getting closer. Close enough that Mustafa wasn't sure if they should be labeled as acquaintances, or as friends, or as... something even more than that.

Whatever the hell they were, it all came to a screeching halt in October of 2017, when Neville left the company and didn’t look back.

Mustafa still texted him after everything happened, but it was clear that things weren't how they used to be. Neville was distracted, so caught up in the drama of requesting his release that he didn't seem to have time to talk with him anymore. It wasn't like Mustafa didn't understand — though he'd never been through the process himself, he could only imagine how stressful it must be, especially given the specifics of Neville's situation. Not to mention that his own career picked up notably only a few short months later, and he hadn't done much better on the consistent communication front. This was far from being a one-sided issue.

What had gotten to Mustafa the most, though, was how abrupt it all was. How one moment the two of them were talking, and laughing, and genuinely enjoying one another's company more than they ever thought they would, only for all of it to suddenly stop. How they used to text each other the most ridiculous and pointless shit, only for their messaging to slowly taper off until it ceased altogether.

As of that moment, in February of 2020, contact between them was nonexistent. Like they were total strangers.

Mustafa wanted so badly to change that.

His thumb was hovering precariously over the "call" button. It was such a simple thing to do, but he was still having so much trouble with it. If he did that, then Neville would pick up, and then two of them would be talking again for the first time in years. He would get what he wanted. It was so easy, so doable .

Even so, he was hesitant. There was no guarantee that Neville would pick up to begin with. It was possible that he would see who was calling him and immediately reject the call, or let it ring and ring until Mustafa eventually gave up and left him alone. Worse yet, he might have deleted Mustafa's number, and he would hit him with a dreaded "Who is this?" the moment he answered. Each of those situations sent a chill down his spine, and it made him want to turn off his phone and forget about this plan like he always did.

But Mustafa couldn't let those worst-case scenarios get to him. Not anymore. He needed to do it, and he needed to do it right then and there. Otherwise, it would likely never happen.

With that, he made the call.

Bringing the phone up to his ear, Mustafa chewed on his lower lip. He listened to the rings, first one, then two. His heart was pounding in his chest by the time the fifth ring rolled around. A little voice was yelling at him from the back of his mind, telling him that he'd made a huge mistake and should just hang up the phone already. It was clear that Neville didn't want to talk to him — if he did, he would've picked up. It was only a matter of time before he got sent to voicemail and was forced to either hang up or leave some embarrassing message for Neville to delete—

"Ali?"

"Oh—" Mustafa's whole body tensed at the sound of Neville's voice coming from the receiver. He'd actually picked up — shit, shit, shit . He scrambled for something to say, anything . "...Hiya."

Real smooth, dumbass . "Hello..." Neville responded tentatively. God , it had been way too long since Mustafa last heard him. He probably would have enjoyed the moment more if he didn't just make a complete fool out of himself.

"What, ah...” Just say something! “What're you up to?"

"I'm... at home." Neville still sounded wary. Mustafa couldn’t exactly blame him.

"You had a match this week, right?" Mustafa remembered seeing tweets about it on his timeline. Reading that Neville had won had put him in quite the good mood for the rest of the night.

"I did."

"Good for you." Mustafa nodded. “Makin’ moves.”

Then, the line fell silent, and Mustafa had no choice but to come to terms with the fact that he did not plan this well — or at all, really. All those nights of internal arguments and wondering about how a potential phone call between him and Neville would play out ultimately failed him. He had no idea what to say next, or how to get to the point without making himself look like an even bigger idiot.

Fortunately for him, Neville was the one who eventually broke the silence. "Ali, what's going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I— Are you kidding? You just called me out of absolutely nowhere. Why?"

“...Oh, that.” What else would he be talking about?!

“Yeah, that .” The tone left Neville’s voice and, quieter, he added, “Is everything alright?"

Mustafa swallowed. There, that was his opening. "Everything's fine, it's just..." He paused. "I... WWE's in Orlando this weekend.”

Neville was silent for a beat. "...Is that so?"

"Mhm. I just got to my motel a little while ago. Haven't even gotten out of the car yet, though, because of this rain." Taking a deep breath through his nose, he said, "I... was thinking about you. Wanted to know how things were."

“I see...” The line went quiet again, the only sound being that of Neville’s breathing and the rain, which seemed to have only gotten worse in the time they were talking. Mustafa was dreading eventually having to get out of the car.

“I-I know it’s sudden,” Mustafa explained, an attempt to save himself from this awkward situation. “And that you probably didn’t expect to hear from me.”

“I definitely didn’t.”

“Yeah... But I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure things were good.”

“They’re... They’re fine, thank you.” After a beat, “And you?”

“Same here.” Mustafa looked out the raindrop-speckled window. “I’m tired as hell, but... Still, it’s all good.”

This conversation needed to end. It was going nowhere, and Mustafa knew this. Hearing from Neville again was great, but all he was doing was embarrassing himself. Clearing his throat, he said, “Well... I guess I should be going. Still gotta get my room.”

“You haven’t even got one yet?” Neville asked. “What do you plan on doing if there isn’t one available?”

“I’ve slept in enough cars during my career to be okay with it. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t remember ever saying I was worried.”

Mustafa snorted. “You haven’t changed a bit, you know that?”

“At least I’m consistent.”

“That, you are...” Mustafa licked his lips. “I’ll... talk to you later, maybe, okay?”

“Alright...”

Mustafa sighed softly. Here’s to hoping I’ll actually have the balls to call him again after this. He thought to himself as he brought the phone away from his ear. Considering how long it had taken him to initiate this five minute chat, it would probably take him an eternity to do it all a second time.

He was just about to hang up when he heard Neville say, “Wait!”

The phone was back to Mustafa’s ear in a flash. “Yes?”

Neville seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he asked, "If it’s not too far from your motel, do you... want to come over for a bit? Just until this storm lets up."

Mustafa’s eyes widened. “U-Uh...” He stammered, very much caught off guard. He had wanted to go to Neville’s house earlier, but he didn’t expect him to straight up invite him , completely unprovoked.

“If it’s too much trouble, then don’t worry about it,” Neville backtracked. “I know the weather is messy—“

“No it’s not,” Mustafa cut him off. “I mean, yes, it is, but I can still drive in it."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. You know I'm a good driver."

"I know you're a slow driver."

"Close enough. I’ll... I’ll be over in a little bit.”

He heard Neville breathe out (in relief?) “Alright. You, uh, still know the way?”

“Yeah, I do.” Mustafa could never forget.

~

The one benefit to the rain being so heavy was that the roads were mostly clear. The few cars that were out at that hour were driven by people getting home late from work and lovesick idiots like Mustafa. He had to be careful, of course, since an accident was the absolute last thing he wanted at that moment (and always, really), but he maintained a decent speed as he went down familiar streets and made familiar turns, ones that he hadn't made in ages. All so that he could see Neville in-person again.

What would the two of them even do ? That question was bouncing around inside of Mustafa’s head the whole time he was driving. He... highly doubted that they would hook up, given the amount of time they had been apart. It was unlikely that they would so easily fall back into their old pattern. Chances were they would spend more time catching up (or sitting in uncomfortable silence) than anything else. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that — happy? Disappointed? An odd combination of both?

No matter how he might have felt, it was definitely happening. And before Mustafa knew it, he was pulling up to the front of Neville’s home, parking in what had been his usual spot only two years ago.

Mustafa shut the car off. Staring up at the house, he realized that it was no different than it had been the last time he visited. Very... ordinary. There weren’t any decorations up, despite Valentine's Day being just around the corner. He wasn’t quite sure what he expected, really — Neville had never been all that into decorating. Thought it was all a scam and a waste of time, even though it made his home stick out like a sore thumb during the holidays. Just as he’d said on the phone during their chat, he was as consistent as ever. The familiarity was... comforting.

Bracing himself for the weather, Mustafa stepped out into the rain, taking a moment to lock the car before hustling up to the front porch. His heart was thumping as he climbed up the steps. Come on, you can do this, don’t chicken out now. All the worst-case scenarios were starting to creep their way back into his mind, telling him that this visit was pointless. That they were far too different now, and getting together again even for a little while would only make things worse somehow. Mustafa stared intently down the doorbell, as if it were challenging him with its faint glow, and he pressed it before he could talk himself out of it. Screw that pessimism — he was already there. If talking to each other was bad, then running away when he was expected was even worse.

And, truthfully, leaving unnoticed at that point was impossible. The door was opened only a moment after he'd rung the bell, like Neville had been standing there waiting for him on the other side, and just like that Mustafa was once again faced with the man who he’d spent countless nights with only a few years ago. A soft, shy smile spread across Mustafa’s face. “...Hey, Nev.”

“Hi...” Neville’s expression mirrored his — his smile was still stunning. “It’s... certainly been awhile, hasn't it?”

“Sure has.” Mustafa’s hands were shoved deep in his pockets. Too long. Mustafa wasn't sure if he should say this last thought aloud or not.

“Well, don’t just stand there — it’s pouring.” Neville stepped aside. The rumble of thunder off in the distance did an equally good job of reminding Mustafa of the bad weather, and he nodded, making sure to wipe his feet as best as he could on the mat before he walked inside. "Just put your shoes with the rest of mine."

"Got it." Some of Neville's shoes were lined up against the opposite wall, surprisingly neat. This alone made it clear that Neville had managed to do (or, scrambled to do) some last minute cleaning before he showed up. They were usually a mess, one that Mustafa teased him about almost every visit. He couldn't say anything this time, however, and instead he went about slipping his own pair off.

Then, a large black shape came charging at him from the end of the hallway.

“Winston!!” Mustafa grinned, and he crouched down, scratching the bullmastiff on his head once he stopped in front of him. The dog responded by licking his face, and Mustafa laughed. “I missed you!”

“Looks like he missed you, too,” Neville mused from behind him, and Mustafa heard him close the door.

“It’s been way too long, boy-o!” Another rub to the head. Winston's tail was like a propeller, wagging rapidly. A paw came to rest on Mustafa's arm, and he faltered a little. "Hey, don't knock me over now."

"I don't mean to interrupt this tender reunion, but can I get you something to drink? Water, maybe?"

Mustafa looked up to Neville, Winston licking his hands now in an attempt to regain his attention. "That'd be good, thanks."

Neville gave him a nod and made his way towards the kitchen. Winston turned and followed him right away, which caused Mustafa's eyebrows to raise. "Wait, where're you goin'? I thought you wanted me to pet you!"

"He sees me going to the kitchen, he follows," Neville yelled back. "Seems to think me being in here automatically means he'll get a treat."

"Doesn't it?"

A pause. "...Well, yeah, but..." Neville trailed off, and Mustafa couldn't help but chuckle and roll his eyes. Who could've guessed the "Bastard" would be such a pushover?

Now alone in the hallway, Mustafa took a quick look around, noting some of the pictures on the wall. He wanted to say it was an evenly distributed assortment of photos, shots of family and the dog alike, but it was clear that there were just a few more of Winston than anything else. Neville's love for him seemed to have grown tenfold in the time he and Mustafa had been apart. Mustafa couldn't help but wish that he had a pet of his own. Winston had filled that role for awhile, but... well, it was hard for him to actually bond with an animal when he wasn't even speaking to its owner.

Mustafa decided to head into the living room then, and he sat down on the couch, shifting in the plush seat as he waited for Neville (and Winston, hopefully) to come back. The rain was still pattering away against the window, and Mustafa silently hoped that it would let up before the end of the night. Having to go back out into such a downpour and drive all the way to his motel — the same one he still didn't have a room at, now that he thought about it — would not be fun. The more he put it off, the more likely it seemed he would be spending that damp night in the backseat of his rental...

Mustafa shook his head and tried to get rid of the thought. He would worry about that later, after he did... whatever it was that he planned on doing with Neville. He still hadn't figured that out.

Sitting there and looking around the room, it was all so... familiar to Mustafa, just as so many other things were. Everything that had happened since he arrived at the house had been apart of his and Neville's routine — the old one, from before everything changed. It was all the same, from Winston greeting him at the front door to the drink offer. There was even some Netflix movie paused on the TV. Mustafa admittedly didn't recognize the name of it, but if he knew Neville half as well as he thought he did, it had to be tacky. Stupid Movie Night lived on, even though they hadn't actually gotten together to have one in years.

Mustafa missed this. All of this.

"Here you are," Neville at last returned to the room, handing Mustafa his glass.

"Thanks." Mustafa took it from him. Winston strolled in behind Neville, and Mustafa watched as he followed him closely, sniffing his lap after he sat down at the opposite end of the couch.

"I have nothing more for you, why are you looking at me like that?" Neville gave the dog a scratch behind the ear. "You've already gotten loads of treats tonight, take it easy."

"I see he's just as much of a mooch as he was before."

" Oh yeah. Actually, he might have gotten worse, if that's possible." Winston jumped up on the couch and settled himself as best as he could between Mustafa and Neville, the latter going right back to patting him on the head. "He's my boy, though. Wouldn't trade him for the world."

And then, without warning, it was quiet again.

The room that had just a moment ago been filled with their voices was now filled only with the sound of the rain. Mustafa licked his lips, and he stared at Neville, whose gaze was trained on Winston. When he looked to Mustafa, their eyes met, and Mustafa gave him an awkward smile (which was probably more like a grimace) before turning his attention to the paused movie on the screen. His nerves were beginning to make a comeback, just in time for he and Neville to have the first face-to-face conversation they'd had in a long time. He cursed his luck and, once again, his past self for not properly thinking through his plan for getting back in touch with Neville — he'd gotten as far as "call him and hope for the best" and left it at that.

Neville was the one that invited him over. He wouldn't have done that if there wasn't even a tiny part of him that wanted to see him, to talk to him. Even so, Mustafa was still hesitant, worried that he might slip up and say something that would do the opposite of saving their relationship. But he needed to take a chance. He'd told himself when he was standing on the porch that it was far too late to back out, and it was especially too late now that he was sitting on Neville's damn couch. Taking a slow sip of his water, Mustafa cleared his throat, and he made the first move. "Uh... So, things have been good with you?"

No sooner had the words left his mouth did Mustafa realize he'd asked him almost the exact same question on the phone earlier. However, Neville didn't seem to notice (or maybe he just didn't care). "They have." His hand was on Winston's back now, fingers slowly trailing over his fur. "Busy, but good."

"Weren't you wrestling on that cruise awhile ago?" At Neville's nod, "Damn, that must've been cool."

"It was... something, I'll say that much. Never thought I'd see myself wrestling in the middle of the ocean."

"Isn't there, like, no phone service on cruise ships, though? How did you even survive?"

"All the questions you could ask me about that trip, and you ask me about the wi-fi? I don't live entirely on social media like you do."

"Yeah, yeah..." Mustafa was tempted to take out his phone and begin scrolling through Twiter just to mess with Neville, but he decided against it. That would come later, once he was sure about where their relationship was at. "Either way, I'm really glad you've been able to find so much success."

Neville snorted. "Me too. And how about yourself? What've you been up to?"

"Things are..." Mustafa pursed his lips as he tried to come up with the right words. "They're okay. A little slow, but definitely not bad."

"Is that the polite version of 'I've been almost exclusively in dark matches for the last month'?"

He grinned sheepishly. "So, you know about that..."

"I haven't actually sat down and watched WWE programming in full in ages, but I still try to watch your stuff whenever I can. Once you stopped showing up, I kinda figured you were— ah, how do you put it? 'Stealing the show before the show'?"

"Hey, don't use my words against me like that!"

"Don't use them all the time, then! Seriously, you post the same thing after every dark match. Usually with a shirtless pic attached."

"Ooh, so you know about those , too?" Mustafa waggled his eyebrows. "You like 'em?"

Neville gave no response to this, though the hint of pink on his cheeks told Mustafa everything he needed to know. Cute .

Putting his glass down on the coffee table, Mustafa decided to follow Neville's example, and he also started to stroke Winston's back, the dog himself already sleeping. Mustafa had never known an animal that fell asleep so quickly until he met Winston. He nodded towards the TV. "I see you're watching a movie."

Neville looked to the screen. "Oh, yeah, that's right..." Had he forgotten all about it?

"Is it dumb?"

"Absolutely. You know I never watch anything good by choice."

"I knew it. So, what, is it a horror film?"

"It is, and it is atrocious , even by my standards. Sooner or later I'm gonna come across one that's actually decent, and I'm not gonna know how to handle it."

Mustafa chuckled. "There's no shortage of bad horror films, so I'd say your odds of finding a good one are pretty slim."

"Thankfully. It's, um..." Neville stopped suddenly, and Mustafa's brows furrowed.

"What?"

"It's... nothing, don't worry about it."

A statement sure to make a worrier like Mustafa worry every time he heard it. "Are you sure? You can tell me."

"Eh, you'll just laugh..."

"I will not." Mustafa's tone was gentle, yet firm. "I promise."

Neville blinked at him, then back at the screen. Mustafa couldn't even begin to imagine what it was that he was so hesitant to tell him. Of course, if Neville insisted that he didn't want to talk about it, then Mustafa would back off, but... Still, he didn't want Neville to think that he couldn't trust him not to make fun of him. Not if he wanted them to be back together for good.

Fortunately, Mustafa's prying seemed to be enought convince Neville. A moment later, they locked eyes again, and Neville quietly admitted, "Well... These movies just aren't the same when you're watching them alone. Sometimes I miss having someone to make fun of them with."

Oh. Mustafa's lips parted, his hand coming to a halt on Winston's back. This sudden stoppage caused Neville's hand to bump into his — ever so slightly, their fingers were touching. He expected Neville to flinch back, but he didn't, and his gaze was just as steady as it had been before. Mustafa couldn't bring himself to look away. Was this... an admission that he wanted he two of them to get back together...? Was that the sign that Mustafa had been looking for? He swallowed. "Um... Neville—"

BANG!

A sudden crash of thunder startled all three of them. The lights flickered, and a second later they went out, plunging the room into complete darkness. The loud noise prompted the now-wide awake Winston to leap off of the couch and bolt out into the hallway. "Winston, no!" Mustafa called after him.

"Christ, not again..." Neville griped. "Now is not the time for this..."

"No kidding..." Mother Nature sure had interesting timing.

The flashlight from Neville's phone was then turned on. Neville squinted at the screen. "Damn thing's gonna die if I keep the light on all night..." He muttered. He then stood. "I'll be right back, gotta go grab some candles."

"Can you check on Winston?" Mustafa pleaded to Neville's silhouette, which was already moving out of the room. "Make sure he's okay?"

"He's probably just in the kitchen — that's his hub whenever the power goes out." The little bit of light that had been in the living room faded away as Neville went down the hallway. "Yep, he's here. Hidin' out behind the island."

Mustafa breathed a sigh of relief. Winston was still scared, but at least he wasn't hurt. That was what mattered. "Good. You think he'll come back in with us?"

"Probably not." Neville's voice was fainter now — he must have gone into another room, possibly his bedroom. Mustafa was disappointed to hear this, but he had to have faith that Neville was wrong. He was sure Winston would rejoin them at some point before Mustafa needed to leave (he couldn't leave without properly saying goodbye, after all).

It was only when Neville re-entered the room holding two scented candles and a box of matches that Mustafa remembered the significance of those items.

The candles. How could he have forgotten about the damn candles ? He watched as Neville placed them down on the coffee table and went about lighting them, his brows furrowed as he moved the match from one wick to the next. That look of (almost unnecessary) concentration was such a familiar sight to Mustafa, one that he'd grown to like quite a bit during their time together, but also one that he had not seen for far too long. Now that he was looking at it again, he was transported to a different time, back when he'd first been invited to Neville's house. It very likely wasn't the same candles, but some of very similar scents and colors had been lit when he'd arrived. He teased Neville at first — he never thought he was a Mood Lighting kind of guy — but it turned out that he was just into candles. There was at least one in most of the rooms in the house. They had been a trademark of sorts for Neville.

Mustafa had lost sight of that fact after their separation. And now, on this gloomy, rainy night, he was once again being reminded of something that he'd missed terribly.

"There..." Neville's voice interrupted Mustafa's reminiscing, and he sat back down on the couch — notably closer than he had before, Mustafa realized. "That should be good enough."

Mustafa stared at the small, dancing flames. "Y...Yeah, it's fine," he replied.

"Something bothering you?" Shit. Mustafa had made his mood just a little too obvious.

"No, not really," he fibbed.

"Are you sure?" Then, "Am I... Am I sitting to close to you, or...?"

"No!" Mustafa quickly assured. "No, that's not it. It's..." He considered lying again, but after pushing Neville into talking a few moments ago he felt he had no right to keep any secrets from him — not to mention that Neville might get the wrong idea again. It was best to tell the truth. "These candles remind me a lot of the times we used to hang out. You had them lit all the time."

Neville followed his gaze, also becoming entranced by the fire. "Ah... Yes, that's right. The cinnamon one was your favorite, wasn't it?"

"It was."

"I wish I still had one, but it burnt out a long time ago. I didn't think to buy another one, to be honest."

Because Neville associated that scent with him. That had to be the reason. Neville had no reason to get a candle of someone's favorite scent if that "someone" wasn't even around to appreciate it. "I..."

"Hmm?"

"I..." Mustafa swallowed. "I miss you. A lot."

Neville didn't say anything to that. Mustafa continued, "I miss seeing you backstage, and talking to you regularly, and watching you wrestle, and just... being with you. Those nights we spent together were so fun , and I looked forward to them. I loved watching dumbass movies with you, and eating way too many sweets, and... everything else. But all of it— it just stopped . Out of nowhere. And I really, really wish that it didn't.

"I... I know you and I are both busy these days in our own ways. And I know that maintaining a relationship with our packed schedules is gonna be tough. But... I'm willing to give it a try, if you are. You obviously don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and I'm more than okay with you deciding that this isn't something that you're interested in, but I wanted to at the very least let you know how I feel."

Satisfied with his rambling, Mustafa took a deep breath, leaning back into the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and waited anxiously for Neville to reply — if he ever did. He was still staring at the candles, his expression unreadable. Maybe Mustafa's sudden confession was a lot to take in at once. Especially since it came out of seemingly nowhere, and was prompted by candles of all things. Is he... okay?

But then, faintly, Neville at last said something. "...I'm the one that fucked everything up."

"What...?"

"I'm the one that stopped texting you. I should've done more to keep in touch with you."

"But it's not like I ever tried to start a conversation," Mustafa argued. "I stopped, too. I'm just as responsible for what happened. You can't only blame yourself."

"I know, but..." Neville chewed his lower lip. "But I care about you. I never stopped caring about you, not even when I was sorting out my contract. And I should've done a better job at showing it. Instead, I just..." He shrugged. "I just let our relationship die."

Mustafa debated it for a moment, but ultimately he decided to take a chance, and he reached over and took hold of Neville's hand. For the second time that evening, Neville did not shy away from the contact. "It doesn't have to stay dead if you don't want it to. We can... try again."

"I want to," Neville admitted. "But like you said, it's not going to be easy. We're always traveling, and we're on completely different work schedules, and..."

"We can make it work," Mustafa cut him off. "It'll take some getting used to, but I think we can do it."

"But what if everything happens all over again? What if... What if something comes up and we just stop talking again?"

"Do you want that to happen?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Then let's try our hardest not to let it happen. We don't have to text every single day or anything, but if we both try to send each other something every now and again, things could work out just fine."

Neville swallowed. "...You're really serious about this?"

"I am," Mustafa said, clearly. "I wasn't lying before when I said that I missed you, and everything that came along with you. I wanna give us one more chance, see where things go. And if you want to, then... I say we go for it. What do we got to lose?"

Neville, whose eyes had been glued to the flames, turned his head to meet Mustafa's gaze. The soft, orange glow from the candles illuminated his face. The light gave him a haunting, mesmerizing appearance. One that Mustafa couldn't look away from even if he'd wanted to.

He looked... amazing.

Mustafa couldn't help himself from slowly leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips.

It was soft at first. Mustafa wanted to provide Neville with ample time to pull away. It wasn't until he felt Neville gently reciprocating the kiss that he deepened it, a hand moving up to cup Neville's cheek. Mustafa's lips parted, and Neville's tongue slid into his mouth. The intimacy was almost dizzying. This was what he'd been waiting for. After all that debating about whether or not to make that phone call, this was what he'd wanted. What he'd missed so badly.

It had been over two years since their last kiss. Somehow, this one was the best of all.

If only Winston hadn't decided that that was when he'd choose to return to the living room.

All the two of them heard was another rumble of thunder and the sound of nails frantically clicking on the floor before the dog leapt onto the couch, where Neville had been sitting earlier. "Oh my God—" Neville gasped, putting a hand on his chest. "What the hell, Winston?!"

Surprised as he was, Mustafa couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, he came back! That's good, right?"

"Would've been good any other time..." Neville moped, but Mustafa putting an arm around his shoulders prompted him to smile, and a moment later he moved in for a second kiss. Just as good as the first one.

"...Hey," Neville breathed out against his lips. Between kisses, he continued, "Did you... ever end up getting a motel room...?"

Mustafa froze, eyes wide. In the excitement of being back together with Neville, he'd forgotten about the other date he'd be having that evening — the one with the backseat of his rental. "Uh..." He grinned sheepishly. "No, I did not."

Neville smirked. Mustafa's heart rate ticked up just a bit. "Would you like to stay with me tonight? We still have some... catching up to do, you know."

Mustafa's expression mirrored his. Suddenly, his sleeping in the backseat seemed a hell of a lot less likely. "You're right..."

"Is that a 'yes', then?"

"It is. But , I left my bags in the trunk. With my pajamas in them."

This statement caused Neville to chuckle, and he kissed Mustafa again, tugging on his lower lip with his teeth when he pulled back. "Hmm, Mustafa..."

"What?"

"I wasn't anticipating either one of us sleeping with clothes on tonight..."

[yharnamopossum]

actually u kno what i was gonna write prose tonight but instead i’m gonna vent maybe writing all this down will help me Get Over It lmao here’s some lovely bullet points for how gross and awful my ex is that people who still interact with her may wanna know before continuing to Do That:

let’s start with the incest!!!

i don’t know about y’all but uh. doing sexual roleplays with your sibling is fucking weird right lmao???? like i’m not alone in thinking that right?? she had a side blog that belonged to a “””friend””” of theirs but it was literally an oc, and they did sexual roleplays through this blog. like. no, it’s not your friend, it is YOU flirting with YOUR OWN FUCKING SISTER what the FUCK is wrong with you

who shares porn and sex toys with their sibling. who. WHO. THAT ISN’T FUCKING NORMAL. fuckssAKE.

i remember once her sis was having some, uh, reproductive health issues, and she fuckin described it to me in like aggressive detail, as if she’d seen it. like. why are you sticking your nose in your sister’s vag. no, that’s not normal. that’s GROSS. what the FUCK.

she once told me details of her sister’s, uh. private landscaping habits lmfao. 1, why do you know your sister’s grooming habits and 2. WHY ARE YOU FUCKING TELLING ME. why do you know these things!! who keeps track of their siblings’ fucking genitals & how they present them lmfao!!!

we once were gonna have a “date” (ie voice chat & games) and once the shit connects “oh tea’s here hope that’s okay :)” UM. NO? YOU GONNA INVITE YOUR FUCKING SISTER ON DATES? like how far was that gonna go lmfao. as if the fact these creeps were sexual with each other wasn’t gross enough, the knowing that if i’d stayed in that situation i probably would have gotten dragged into some weird incest shit is WORSE LOL. fucking CHRIST.

speaking of sexual shit that’s Not Cool that she thought Was Cool, how about more stuff including noncon and pedophilia!!

i had to CONSTANTLY remind her of shimon’s sexuality because she was always trying to make him more sexual than he is. maybe not a big deal on paper, but he is based on ME, A SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR. no, i don’t like the idea of a chara i project onto getting pressured into sex by his boyfriend!! i don’t like the idea of his boyfriend forcing children on him!!!! she once, like, pointed out oliver would surprise kiss him for the first time, which HEY HELLO IS NOT COOL TO BEGIN WITH, but then when i tried to dismiss it with “uhh yeah shimon would punch him in the face” she went “haha lol canon!!!” LIKE??? YES SEXUAL ASSAULT RESULTING IN PHYSICAL ASSAULT IS GREAT!

also the time she made the punchline of a porn comic oliver sexually assaulting shimon lmfao. “haha he doesn’t want to have sex but he’s making him!! silly and fun!!!! hashtag they fuck lol!!!” fuck off

and it wasn’t just them, it was like. everything was SO sexual always. it was so uncomfortable!! like i get i’m kind of a prude but???

okay big one is like. literally she said nicko and cal had shared vows and were married and then cal goes off and fucks and impregnates someone else. cool! cheating on your spouse is cool apparently!!! but the worst part is she SOLELY referred to it as “blowing off steam” HELLO???? lmfao you really consider someone cheating on their spouse just “blowing off steam”??? this is your definition of it?? this is the character you’ve based on YOURSELF???

and that’s the thing, too. like all these violent and sexually abusive characters she said were based on herself. cool. neat. no wonder i was always paranoid about getting cheated on or getting beaten once we met lmao

cal also weirdly pressures nicko into sex and like. says a bunch of shit that makes him uncomfortable in fics and it’s all uwu cute~ in her mind. like. no. and the worst part is she’s so fucking dense she doesn’t even understand that the shit she’s writing is unacceptable!!! you wanna write noncon into your stories and ocs’ backgrounds?? fine! go ahead! it’s venting! i did the same shit with theo! but ACKNOWLEDGE IT FOR WHAT IT IS!! fucksSAKE dude

that’s all noncon and shit. how about the weird fetishisation of gay people in general lmao. i’m pretty sure i don’t need to go into this cus anyone who’s ever seen her stuff would Get It lmao.

OH I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE PEDOPHILIA LMFAO y’all know she casually had a pedophile oc but never fucking mentioned it??? yeah! i didn’t know either until i literally started to kin him. she went into ludwig’s obsessions and shit at length before but failed to ever mention he first met nicko when nicko was a LITERAL CHILD. LIKE, UH, HEY, THAT SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY IMPORTANT DETAIL FOR YOU TO ADD DON’T YOU THINK??? you go on for hours and hours about how skeevy this dude is but you fail to mention he’s a PEDOPHILE?? i only found out about this AFTER i got wildly attached to him and redeemed him without knowing and started to id with him. thanks! fucking disgusting

what next!! how about violence & aggression

u have any idea how much it sucks to get triggered into remembering being beaten by another ex of yours cus your gf goes into excrutiating detail about how she wishes she could kick someone’s ass? lmao. it’s not fun!!! and she IDOLISED that shit; she thought violence was fucking cool!! hello!!!!!

she hated one of my best friends, and when i asked why, she said it was because 1. they didn’t say hi to her sister in a stream and 2. they didn’t get involved with drama when people started comparing her to them. i tried SO hard to explain how all these things were misunderstandings, but she refused to listen. i drew parallels to things that had happened to myself, she said that she could see the similarities between herself and people who had hurt me, but refused to fix it, instead growing distant. real good lmao.

in fact she hated this person so much she refused to acknowledge them but NEVER TOLD ME THIS so i kept mentioning them as my friend and she would ignore me, to the point where she was ignoring art and shit i worked for weeks on. real nice way to support your girlfriend! putting your grudges before her. fuckssake

and that isn’t even touching on how she just. Treats People. people like me! and the reasons i’m fucking angry. i’m too fucking Exhausted to go into all the shit she did to me and how horribly she treated me and i’m already crying and my chest is tight i can’t fucking think too hard about it right now but i would LOVE to tell anyone who would like to know so :^)

GOD i’ve given myself a headache there’s more but i’m just Tired my dudes i’m fucking Tired

tl;dr

does sexual rps & gets sexually intimate with sister

thinks cheating, noncon, & pedophilia are excusable/not a big deal

violent & forcibly sexual

holds grudges & is just generally a negative and rude person

whatever i’m gonna regret posting this i’ll take it down before morning but fuckssake dude

but hey! hmu if anyone wants more info lmao i’m livid!!!!

EDIT: CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE ART THEFT i mentioned this once before but jam’s also an art thief :)

[ album ]

[artcanary]

1-50

oh my god dude 

im gonna put this under a cut bc this is a lot. this is a ride, have fun i guess

1. Your first OC ever?god. its got to be Super Kitty. when i was like … an incredibly small child I used to draw comic strips about this feline caped crusader, who was friends with everyone in the city, and the comics always involved him stopping an evil banana man from stealing money from the local bank. He was paid with donuts for his service to the city. i still remember how to draw him. 

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?i’d get arrested if I didn’t answer this with Bronze, probably… but really, they’re very important to me

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?man, i cant remember! i really dont think i have… P:

4. A character you rarely talk about?there’s loads of characters ive never even posted a single picture of on tumblr, i wouldnt even know where to start asdf

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be? bronze is the easy answer, but… i guess that could also go to Servant or Westrin. Servant has a comic project in the works that basically stars him, sort of a series of one-shots about the things he’s experienced, i feel like that would be a good thing to take off and run with. Westrin’s just fun as hell, i love the guy.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?real talk now… there’s at least five different characters that i refer to as a whole as “bronze-tangential”, who started out as, “what would bronze be like if they were in this world?” and then becoming their own thing within said world because i just get stupid attached 

its an epidemic

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?nearly all of them, actually. that’s the main reason i make characters, after all! too many to really go into specifics here, again P: 

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!not often, but i think Bronze and Westrin are the most common ones. unless playing a character in dnd, or running an npc in dnd counts… then a whole lot more hahaha

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?it depends on the circumstances. i don’t really like the idea, though. 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Westrin’s old getup is a pain to draw, and there was one other design i did that I cant find anywhere… whichever way, i dont often tend to draw super complicated things often 

a couple fakemon ive designed though… heheh those can get pretty finicky

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”? hmmmmmmmm my immediate thought was Eric Silverdale from a comic i was working on a few years ago. hes a darling, i want him to be my friend irl

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lothow could you do this to me i love each and every one of all my friends ocs GOD the first one who comes to mind is @d20-official‘s Smith, whos Bronze’s friend… everyone in that DND party actually

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs? Rated on a scale from “harmless” to “honestly somewhat frightening”: -Baromet (charming and quite friendly but definitely a kleptomaniac),-Westrin (demigod of bards and travelers), -XEN09 (a nonsense hacker), -Conny (needlessly contrarian and dumb as HELL), -Enza Colie (long fucking story but hes a good-for-nothing), -Hemlocke (mad scientist, chaotic evil), -Iris (AI and hacker, VERY bad), -The Terminus (glitch-in-the-matrix demon, chaotic evil), -and Sydd (the Queen of the Faeries, hopefully the danger there needs no explaining :’D)

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory Mmm… there’s a few of them, most obviously Lent (whose background I did a short comic about). Basically his entire town got eaten by ghosts and turned into zombies, he only barely survived with a sliver of his soul left. 

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?yes, i often discuss storylines and such with friends

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)? Probably Bronze’s dad! I don’t talk about him much, but his name’s Devon Reed, and he was a biotech developer specialising in android design. 

I often describe him as being something of a reverse Arthur Weasley - a very fatherly scientist fascinated to the moon and back with the concept of magic. 

17. Any OC OTPs? having trouble thinking of a lot of them right now, but there’s Eric + Lent & Naiadine + Tailias from Emerald Sigil, Avken + Baromet from my space campaign world, Sydd + Wyvv from my unnamed campaign world, and I’ve been considering Westrin + Servant as an interesting dynamic in Servant’s story

18. Any OC crackships? My character Bismuth and @autistictimeknight​‘s oc Eros. Theyre so fucking in love, I love it. Its been awhile but I do still think about them sometimes.

As I recall, Eros is an empath, she can read other people’s emotions. But Bismuth is a robot, and Eros can’t read her. Because of this Eros can let go of her fear of unintentionally manipulating the emotions of her date, which would hold her back from most other relationships. 

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)Hey, meet Bronze! I definitely do not talk about them every five minutes, why would you say that. 

Bronze was with me through two of the hardest years of my life so far, and being a DND character they grew with me, both as a fighter and as a person. They were non-binary before I started using those pronouns, they were the first character or person or anything who I fought someone about using the right pronouns for, they make a great icebreaker for if I want to see how someone reacts to non-binary pronouns … 

One funny anecdote about Bronze is that when I first made them, their “gimmick” was that they would sometimes glitch out and mess up their speech, mostly because I wanted an excuse not to engage in the roleplaying (which I was very bad at). The interesting thing is that as I got better at interacting with the group, we both grew out of needing it very quickly. 

I’m very proud of Bronze. 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?Westrin is a bard! His singing voice sounds like Bill Wurtz and these are his theme songs.

21. Your most artistic OCProbably Westrin again, he writes a lot of songs… and Hallux is a game designer?

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how? I honestly dont know… no-one talks to me about them, haha! 

people use all manner of pronouns for bronze, though. 

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?I’m gonna go with Enza for this one. Enza Colie was originally written entirely because I wanted an antagonist for a short starring his sister, Jane Colie. But the more I fleshed out his reasonings for acting how he did and explored his character, the more I realised he’d make an even more interesting character if allowed to have a redemption arc, too. 

I just want to state for the record that I was very reluctant to the idea, and he basically dragged his way out of the villain pit entirely of his own accord. I am dubiously proud of him, and also a bit scared. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?Probably either Eric (Big Man, Best Friend), Crocus (Mother figure), Reed (Father Figure), Westrin (hed just make a good friend u kno??), or Bismuth (she makes good conversation!)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)probably the homestuck fan-troll Hallux, but that’s mostly because they were based on a troll-sona I made awhile ago. They’re a hope/prospit game designer who is small and full of rage and love

oh, and there’s dave! dave’s a superhero speedster, existing in a modern-day superhero version of seattle. theyre idiot, just like me,

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? this is an interesting one… i don’t think ive ever had something Bad in a design ive done called to my attention by someone, but I did create my character Servant at around the same time I was first really expanding the diversity of my casts. (since i don’t talk about him often, a little context: he’s a magic spirit creature bound to human form to serve the royal family of the land and follow their orders.) 

somehow, younger-and-more-stupid me managed to have the revelation that making this “eternal slave” character literally anything other than a white man, especially as a white author, would be Pretty Not Good. im … thats really, really not something i should pat myself on the back for, but i do consider it one of the biggest bullets dodged in my artistic career so far that i realised that not all representation is good representation so quickly, before i could make that incredibly, incurably stupid mistake. 

after that, trying to make sure my characters and their presentations don’t harm anyone pretty much has become a paranoia. i don’t seem to have stepped on any toes yet, but when it inevitably happens, please let me know - i didnt know, and i want to fix it! 

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I can think of, actually! I don’t really do that often. 

28. Your most dangerous OC? god damn it i have no idea!!! is it the terminus? glitch in the matrix god of chaos motherfucker?is it sarle? terrifying calculating scientist with the power of the soul at her fingertips ??? is it ares??? is it athena????? is it petra?????? the gatekeeper???? 

… actually, the gatekeeper might be it, if “dangerous” just refers to “the amount of raw power it can wield”. the Gatekeeper is a titanic entity that exists in interdimensional multiverse space, and its implied to have the ability to create and destroy entire universe bubbles at will. for what cosmic purpose, no-one knows. 

at a more personal scale, though, literally all of the aforementioned characters are pretty bad to run into too. 

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?god. Mina or Tawn. Tawn is the Indiana Jonesy type and probably dumb enough, but also competent enough not to get into too much trouble there. Mina would probably drag her friends along. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? XEN09. No-one knows, because no-one knows xir personal identity. Xe absolutely does, though. It’s less of a secret if you know xir in person, but good luck finding out about it otherwise. 

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)dave just reblogs memes all the time tbh. they like to keep tabs on the ridiculous superhero news going on, and they show human jokes and cat videos to their alien gf. they dont really post or add to posts, but they talk in tags a lot. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? i want to say tawn because i literally just realised ive been imagining their voice as sounding like luigi this entire fucking time and i never realised until this exact instant

33. Your shyest OC?probably baromet. they prefer to keep to themself in their hideout, with their collection of shiny things. they don’t really enjoy trying to communicate much, mostly because they expect to get yelled at. 

34. Do you have any twin characters?Yes! At least two sets; 

- Crocus and Sarle. (x) (x) They don’t exactly have a very well-developed relationship, but they are both quite important to the plot of my campaign world, and they are both very interesting. Crocus is a motherly figure who just exudes friendliness, while Sarle is .. very much not that, a researcher studying very gruesome things and pushing the boundaries of reality. 

- Jane and Enza Colie. I haven’t talked a whole lot about either of them here, but I’d rather leave their story to do the talking whenever I get around to it. Essentially, the both of them were intended to do the dirty work for their crime boss family, but Jane ditched to study medicine. Most of the conflict between the two of them comes out of Enza not understanding why she made the choice she did, and coming to understand how he’s been manipulated. 

35. Any sibling characters? I can’t really think of any off the top of my head, I should … I should really work on that. 

I can talk about Westrin, though. Westrin (a demigod of many things, but namely bards, travel, travelers, and people who are lost) often becomes close friends with mortals, sometimes practically adopting them. These people who consider him family, and people who have received his blessing, are able to use his surname, Brilanta, as their own if they choose. So I guess all of the Brilantas are siblings, at least in spirit. 

Oh, and XEN09 has like, seven siblings. Xe is the second-oldest, and least remarkable. 

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)? I already talked about Eros and Bismuth up there a ways in question 18, but I’ll talk about another relationship here. @autistictimeknight​‘s character, Nova the Alchemist, is mentor and adopted parental figure to my character Munna. Munna … Munna isn’t a very good apprentice. She tries very hard. 

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human That’s most of them, I’m not quite sure what to say here. Bronze is an android? Bronze again? Westrin? All the aliens ?? 

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer? man. uh. westrin or jean. or perhaps valencia. 

39. Introduce any character you want ??? uhhhHHHhhHHH Lord Brillium is the reigning deity of the Cloud Kingdoms in the other campaign setting I’m working on. They represent light and the quest for knowledge, and spend most of their days in the Cathedral Observatory watching the stars. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!one time bronze flew a hover-bike through the stained glass window in a cathedral blaring all star by smash mouth on their iguana

also one time bronze rickrolled a rakshasa demon and then pulled updog on it like, two minutes later

another time bronze scared off an entire army by pretending to be an automated security system 

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)ive got a whole little folder on here from all you blessed people !!!! right now ive got a drawing quinn did of one o fmy characters as my lockscreen

but i think the one i’ll really never ever get over is this piece of Jane, by @rabendraws​ / @owoltron​: 

(i bet you thought i forgot about this, dude. dude. think again.) 

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods? this is kind of a weird question, m, I feel like Bismuth would find learning about the mythos utterly fascinating, as would Tawn. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confesshaha. uh. i might. 

aside from the entire “bronze-tangential characters” thing i mentioned awhile back, I tend to really like designing characters with hair color lighter than their skin color. it just looks so cool man. i love drawing freckles but dont put them on enough characters. i like really curly hair, but also really long and flowy hair. i like drawing triangular body types, and pointy/prominent noses. 

44. Something you like about your OCs in generaluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is a really vague question. m. m. 

45. A character you no longer use?there’s old versions of characters, but a lot of my older ones have been somehow repurposed. I guess there’s Turien, my first-ever DND character, who’s just kind of sitting dead now. Haven’t really done anything with him other than a pretty recent tangential character. 

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?Not that I can think of.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child? Im certain it’s happened, but I can’t remember any specific instances. 

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pureSpring. spring knows nothing of th dangers of the world who is letting them into fights someon eneeds to stop this

(spring roll, hehe.) 

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memesim not sure what this question is asking since many of my ocs actively enjoy memes including but not limited to westrin, dave, bronze, xen09, iris, and doctor archersen

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wanti think. i think im going to pass on this one. i gave you the good old oc talk. your damn turn, yall: 

if you have any questions about any of these guys feel free to shoot one at me!

thats all from me im tired and its one am. techskylander you absolute madman 

[srlkiller]

today was a lot. i had a 1on1 therapy thing that was supposed to be like an INTRO TO UR RECOVERY WOO!!! LETS GET UR MENTAL HEALTH IN CONTROL!!! But instead it turned into me having 4 panic attacks constantly crying while venting to a social worker in a room w no air con for 2 hours about ‘how my month has been’ and ‘why i haven’t been attending any of my group therapy?’ well sue sweetie.. u asked me…n boy did i give u the answer ur career as a social worker has been WAITING 4!! then i got my 1st covid shot & briefly spoke to my doctor who was rude asf so i was like ok today fucked. Centrelink also called me and told me wrong info which fucked me over. then i see my dad calling and im like OFC HE IS!!massive fight as per n he hangs up but then continues via text bc hes petty asf.

BUT not as petty as my mom bc that is literally how the fight started. bc of her. like this bitch omg. she purposely runs off to my dad and tells him every little thing i do ‘wrong’ bc she knows his temper and how afraid i am of him due to past events so she uses him to basically do her dirty work for her n ‘scare me’. like that’s how manipulative and fucked up she is in the head. she made up a whole ass lie and told my dad that i said to my mom the only reason i was trying to stay in contact with my dad was so that i remain in his will as like the sole beneficiary or whatever….. how sick and twisted must you be to lie to someone directly in their face about something so serious INVOLVING UR OWN CHILD that you share with that person????? i would NEVER! say that about my dad. EVER. this happened months ago btw. as soon as i spoke about it w my dad and i was like “what.. dad i would never say that you know i don’t give a fuck about money like that i don’t care about your will why would i even be thinking about your will?” he was like wait actually that’s fucked up ur right. It was actually HER who made that comment. she got my dad to go and fix fencing at my nans house for free (using him) n my dad mentioned he had a girlfriend. my mum came home & SAID TO ME “u better hurry up and get in ur dads good books now that he has a gf.. before she gets a hold of his will and u end up w nothing” and i simply told her that my dad would never take me off his will regardless so why say that to me. once she got exposed she backtracked and was like “oh it was just a joke” & both my dad and I were both saying that even as a joke how is that funny? how does your mind even start to think in that way? how is this funny to you? then she flips it. her scripts are so repetitive now that ive caught on that i can actually predict what she’s gonna say before she opens her mouth. she manipulates u into thinking ur reality isn’t correct.. saying things like “ omg ur over reacting lol ur so dramatic no wonder no one takes u seriously in life, grow up, i have no idea what ur going on about, have u taken ur medication for the day, have u lost it, are u high on something?” like what in the fuck?

i never once mentioned anything about anyones will.. when i was younger i made the mistake obviously of telling her that my dad was leaving me his house. when my nans will was getting exposed she became overly obsessed w wills in general and changed hers. im guessing behind my back she has actually taken me off now but i don’t want her dirty ass money which is stolen from my accounts anyway. my nan left all her grandchildren a large sum of money that was supposed to be equally split among us, its now been over a year since my nan passed & i noticed a group text come up on my moms phone from her sisters talking about what they did for their children with that money. one of them paid off their entire hex debt so it must be a substantial amount. i have not seen a cent which means she has taken it for herself, put it in her name and placed it into a secret account without my knowledge. if it’s as much $ as i believe it is, this could seriously help me move out and better my situation which she constantly tells me she wants me to get the fuck out ect. yet you are holding the key to the door in ur hand? that’s twisted and very sick. they fought for a year over my nans money and all i asked for was an old XXXX gold stubby holder that was my grandads bc it was very sentimental to me. instead, they chose to have a garage sale and sold all of my nans things and sold that stubby holder to a random person for 20 cents………. i was in shock when i found out.. and they laughed and were like get over it omg it’s just a stubby holder you can just buy another one. these people are so fucked up but they all made me feel like i was losing my mind my whole life. money isn’t shit without sentiment. i could have given you 20 cents if you need that shit so bad. im only attached partially to these evil ass roaches by some genetics but to me none of them are my family. not once have i ever felt cared for, loved, accepted, safe or happy in their presence. i am only ever wanted when they can gain something from me. that is not family. my grandad was big on family n my nan and my grandad are the only two people i claim as family from my moms side. my nans two blind siblings who i admired & adored + a few of my grandads siblings were the only ones who actually showed interest in getting to know me & didn’t look down on me in any way. i was never considered ‘less than’ or not good enough yet i was the family disappointment to my mom and her sisters. but they have never seen her like i see her. the way she acts in front of family is not the person i know. she’s very good at acting. the way she pretends to be a ‘mother’ in front of her own family is actually scary. she’s like the ultimate con artist except she’s too fucking dumb to actually scam people and get rich off of her ability to manipulate whoever she wants. what a shame ur not intelligent.. that sure must suck huh. my nan gave me that maternal love i never had from my mother and my grandad was always that man who held us all together as a unit. when he got sick everything changed and started to go down hill. they had to give up their entire property, his big beautiful garden and vegetables he was really passionate about, the horses and land ect. my nan planted a rose bush and it grew big and blossomed big red roses and she said this is for you, my little rachel rose 🌹 🥺 she said she wanted to take the whole ass bush w her and replant it 😂 but my grandad was like we are not taking a fucking huge ass rose bush w thorns in the car w us Gloria.. i only remembered this today during that therapy session and i hyperventilated so bad n just started crying.. bc i couldn’t believe my brain had blocked that memory for so long just to recover it now that she’s no longer here to share it with.

i can feel the love my dad has for me even when he’s temperamental.. you can see it in his face and his eyes. when i look at my mom i try desperately to find some sort of just fucking anything and… i see nothing. i can tell that she doesn’t feel anything. but she does for other children. just not me. so i know she isn’t a heartless bitch and is capable of emotions of all sorts.. but anything to do with me it’s almost like im invisible or she cannot see fault in her self. she cannot in any way accept anything she has ever done, she has never said the words ‘I’m sorry’ for anything ever in life involving me, she has stood by (literally stood and watched) while her own sisters verbally abused me as a minor calling me out my name AND one even texted my best friend at the time who was about 14 saying that i was a bitch. meaning my mom gave my aunt my friends number to text that message.. my friends mom was livid about this bc what grown ass woman texts a random 14 year old girl paragraphs of shit like that swearing at them and saying that their friend is a rude ungrateful bitch. her mom reacted as a mother should. as i would love my mother to stick up for me just once in life.. u kno.. ever? i still remember my first SUI attempt at like 16 after being abused and this person told me they were leaving and coming back so i had about a 10 min window of time and i panicked as any 16 young girl home alone would.. i called my mom for help bc ur parents are supposed to protect you. her wording was “well what did u do to make him hit you?” “you know that you deserved that”. i was in disbelief that she would react like that.. she was talking so calmly while i was crying hysterically having a panic attack telling her this man was coming back in 10 mins asking her to please help me.. and all she could say was.. “you probably deserved it”. ive never been the same since then tbh. im not blessed enough to be a parent yet, i may never be.. but i know for a fucking FACT that i would NEVER say any of the shit that she says to me to ANY child let alone MY OWN?!?

you had me at 36 years old. you had time to think about this and evaluate whether you thought you would be able to care for a child and make a good parent. If you “didn’t want to deal with me” then you had other options.. you could have sent me to foster care, you could have adopted me out, you could aborted me, shidddd you could have mf swallowed me bitch let’s be real. no, you chose to have a child. there’s no 18 year contract.. she loves to play that card. “UR AN ADULT NOW”, what about me makes me an adult, my age makes me an adult to you? yet you’ve kept me so childlike, so codependent & haven’t taught me basic life skills despite me asking to learn. like im deadass watching YouTube videos to teach myself basic ass life skills… that is sad as fuck. when im 48… guess what??? i am still your child and unfortunately for me!! you are STILL my parent. there’s no changing that bc you made that choice. you can’t just b like yeah i change my mind nvm i want to return it…… like that is really her attitude. i was born with a lot of health issues that have escalated a lot and only continue to get worse with age both mental and physical. guess what tho… if ur child is born with defects u don’t get to just b like omg ew i don’t want it now this one’s too difficult. like trust me.. if i was one of those lil sperm rn i am not about to fertilise u for NOTHING if this is the consequence I’d rather jus keep on swimming lmao.

[keepgoingmerry]

Today, i had lunch with an old friend from tumblr

When i say old friend.. it means our friendship already had a long journey. Its actually a typical marupok story— yung nafall ka sa kachat mong anon blogger 😂😂

We met here at tumblr way back 2014. Di siya sikat, he’s an anon blogger, but may friends din sya dito so.. anon pa ba yun? LOL hahaha Any, naalala ko i felt so comfortable with him nung di pa kami nagkikita, tapos AKALA ko (take note, akala) may gusto na ko sa kanya. But of course, he knew better, alam nyang na-attach lang ako sa kanya. So we remained friends, or really I just accepted what he can give, char!!! Ayon after a few months, nagkita kami. Same city lang kasi kami and super lapit lang din ng house namin sa isa’t isa so nagdecide kaming magkita, to celebrate my birthday ata? forgot the reason but we went to luneta park HAHAHAHA pinoy ako pero 17 yrs old na ko nung nakapunta ako ng luneta park (tinakot pa ko ni gagu na pwedeng pwede nya daw ako iligaw kasi wala akong alam sa daan) HAHAHA and bilang immature kid, I really had this thing for him. Gwapo naman kasi HAHAHA tapos taller than me, and his eyes!! Grabe bilogan yung mata nya, tapos ang kapal ng kilay, tas maputi pa, so pak talaga! Pasok sa banga! HAHAHAHA Naalala ko pa di ako makapaniwala na gwapo siya, kasi syimfre usually ang anon..... go for the “masaya sya kausap” nalang.. CHARING!! joke lang!!! HAHAHAHA Actually, he never bragged that he has the looks so I never expected anything and as they always say, always expect the unexpected HAHAHA and so ayun nga lalo akong nagkafeels sa kanya. I was obsessed with the idea that im actually inlove with him, 2? 3 years? atang ganon. Pag nagkikita kami lagi akong tahimik, and I always don’t know what to say, nabubulol ako, kinakabahan ako konting bagay lang-- like magdidikit kami ganon. AS IN. Every. Little. Thing. Mattered. The way he looks at me, pag naguusap kami, natutulala ako HAHAHAHA Naliligaw ako sa mata nya kase maganda talaga legit. i even had pictures of him on IG, and then.. syimfre, like any other unrequited love stories, ako ay nagising rin. i know i sort of confessed to him, like i asked him ata if wala ba talagang chance? i was never sure if my feels and words ever reached him. But i felt that we really don’t have a chance. So eventually, i moved on. i found someone--- that fucking shit, and we still continued our friendship.

Of course, nagaway din naman kami. Naalala ko I was so mad at him because he lied to me, naging reason pa yun para makipag-FO ako sa kanya. Mababaw lang na reason but for me kasi, if its so mababaw pala, why lie? I felt betrayed, feeling ko i never really knew him kasi even that smallest thing in his life--- turned out to be a lie. Like, kung yung napakaliit na bagay na yun kaya mong di sabihin sakin yung totoo, what more pa yung mas malalaking bagay? So nakipag-FO ako HAHAHAHA Di ko maalala kung ilang months/years kaming di nagusap. Basta ako yung nagbreak nung wall na tinayo ko. para sa aking peace of mind, binaba ko yung pride ko. And nakipagusap na ko ulit. So at first, medjj awks. But eventually, it got better. So ayun, until now, friendships pa rin kami. We meet from time to time. And i just realized how lucky i am that we are still friends. This comfort-- this kind of friendship with him feels really good. Makipaglokohan with no limits. I don’t feel awkward anymore when we’re talking face to face, eye to eye. Unli chikka-- family, career, friends, studies. Pag nagdidikit kami, no more butterflies. It really is just pure friendship. And its good. It feeels so good. No complications. We can stay true to ourselves. Ang saya lang.

Life Lesson: If things don’t work out the way you want it to be, don’t fret bec surely there’s a better path waiting for you. Things may be too hard to understand for now— like my unrequited love before— but everything will definitely work out in the end. You’ll never expect what kind of blessing you will get in the long run. Di naman masama to give your all when it comes to this kind of thing, but u kno, sometimes, acceptance is the key. You have to accept some harsh facts so you can move forward and see things in a better light. Always give YOUR SELF a chance to feel happy and free.

[catastrothicc]

when will i learn to write an intro post

hello friens my name is kit im 19 and i use them/they pronouns. i love the color GREEN as u can tell and im a cancer ..... i literally don’t kno who i am besides that so ! ey letz gO  .... oh yea my timezone is mdt .  bu ckle . ... .. . u p

fiRST we have rocky whomst some of  u kNO bc he was That guy in paracosms anD created by the m ost crea tive  admins iv’e ever seEN i got blessedt 2 play him and to play him agAIN in literally the most mentally straining au for any character .... paracosms verse ! x 

i previously made an intro post for him here so i’m just gonna link it and walk away .. .. .... also his stats page still lives here !!! keeping in mind that he is no longer a drug ring leader ..... he recently discovered that his wHOLE LIFE is a LIE and that he’s a helpless robot stuck in hell with a bunch of other robots who want 2 murder him and every(robot)body he loves 

find his pinterest board here , someday a whole ass playlist too

neXT we have minjae ... he’s my oldest character in this batch but that doesn’t mean i especially love him .... just means i’ve made him suffer the longest .... . . . tw: child abuse ( pinterest board , playlist 1 , playlist 2 )

minjae is in the main verse ! find him bullshitting through college and b-boying in the camden streets 

he’s twenty-one and a virgo , born in busan , south korea 

he found his way to london when his parents sent him away to study abroad highkey because that’s a big fancy thing in korea they can brag about and lowkey to get rid of him for as long as they can 

his relationship with his family is ..... interestingly strained . his parents WON’T admit that he’s tiring as hell to deal with and how much stress he causes because they try their best to be supporting/loving parents but honestly minjae KNOWS how much they just wISH he was fucking gONE from their lives ( okay maybe not THAT intense but things rlly blow up in his head ) but he doesn’t even worry about it he just deals with the fact that he’s a terrible son

he was diagnosed with odd when he was eight years old, after his mom got tired and increasingly concerned with his disruptive and violent behavior

a few years prior , minjae’s biological dad left them and his mom kind of took it upon herself to try and make it up to him . that meant she was always careful around him and treated him as if he was fragile because minjae felt some blame that his dad left . 

his biological dad did Not have any patience for his kid’s mental health , meaning he and minjae would fight often to the point of getting physical . basically minjae endured a lot of getting locked up in the bathroom kicking and screaming until his voice grew hoarse and the occasional ..... bad beatings .

he went to therapy with his mom for two years before entering middle school , around the time his mom remarried a nice guy who had the patience of a saint when it came to minjae , even after he repeatedly rejected him as a part of their life . eventually minjae managed to warm up to him ..... he just didn’t wanna admit he was afraid he’d abandon them like his bio dad . 

despite the therapy he was still unstable and got into frequent fights . he was smart but he didn’t put it into any good use because he would rather fool around and disrupt the classroom at any slight chance . teachers .... hated this fuckass 

theN high school !! A Whole Mess ..... he got worse and worse , and it wasn’t until he got expelled from his Second high school that he went back to therapy for anger management . 

after months of sessions w/ his therapist he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , which honestly explained Everything about his life . it explained his massive issues with interpersonal relationships , massive abandonment fear , massive moodiness , massive personality contradictions .... everythin g

he started b-boying because it was a way to push himself and let go of the anger without picking a fight with someone else ( altho he StilL picked the occasional fight .... highkey still does ) but he loved the control that came with dancing and how it hurt to push his body 

he managed to graduate despite what everyone thought ..... and even a bigger surprise is that he went to college majoring in math ..... and an evEN BIGGER SURPRISE is that he went overseas to study which is like ..... quite a difficult and impressive thing to do ..... tho minjae just finds math the easiest out of academic studies bc “all u need to do is understand and follow a formula” 

anYWAYS so his personality is generally very contradictory . he just has no fucking idea who he even is . thESE are from an old intro that i’m just putting here bc still tru:

being delusional w/ infatuation/love to the point of a fault vs running away when things actually start to go right with someone because of his fear of being abandoned by them

being so afraid of abandonment that he can’t stand being alone, always needs to be communicating with someone vs pushing people away when he feels like he’s getting attached because he’s afraid of abandonment 

swinging between being horny all the time and being sex repulsed

intense mood swings !!! having the time of his life one hour and wishing he was dead the next

thinks he’s the best vs loathes his entire being

wants everyone to love him vs thinking he deserves being alone

incredibly charming and talkative vs distant and moody

loving/cuddly/goofy vs jealous/purposely mean/bossy 

also never tell him its ok to text u bc he’ll give u notifications from Hell

dhwani mishra !!! honestly Bae . i’ve had her in my head for mONTHs and this is only the second time i play her rip . anyways say hello to this Hot Mom. tw: abuse , brief abortion mention 

dhwani is from chicago , she’s 36 and a leo .... literally The Whole SUN

she grew up w/ a generally large family . two parents , three sisters and a brother . it was a full house that often became suffocating but she managed to survive her childhood and teenhood . 

she’s extremely close with all her fam except her dad , bc they have always disagreed in almost everything and it’s just ..... awkward to be around him ?? she honestly doesn’t respect him much , even if she would never show him/tell him that . her dad had an abusive past w/ her mom , and dhwani still feels a lot of resentment that he would ever lay his hands on her in a violent way and mistreat her despite being the mother of his children . when she was a teenager , she would tell her mom to just divorce him but her mom was in a very toxic/old mentality and believed she would ruin her family and her children’s life if she did that . 

probably nobody cared about this as much as dhwani .... she promised herself she’d NEVER allow someone to do what her dad did to her mom and was honestly so defensive with guys . little did she kno it was the lesbian raging inside her . 

so because she had no idea what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility bc her household was not the type to really go into the topic of sex at all , she eventually got into a relationship with a guy in high school that she could actually put up with .... and got really disappointed when she was finally ‘ in love ’ because of how underwhelming it all was . her dreams about finding ‘ the one ’ were absolutely gone . she was like wtf why are people making such a big deal out of love when it feels like ...... kind of nothing ?? 

she became pregnant with his child which was completely unplanned and was such a huge turn in her life that she never ever expected . all this time she had been driven to start a career in chemistry and family would come way wayyy later , however she did Not want to give up her child ..... she was so torn about it but now she thinks not getting an abortion was the best decision of her life bc her little boy , one of her two little suns was brought into the world . 

she paused her career to raise him w/ her now husband when she was 29 , and three years later became pregnant again , this time w/ her second sun , an adorable lil baby girl . things were already going downhill in her marriage before she got pregnant again , though , and she stupidly thought that maybe another child would help them but ... wrong ! her husband , the man she thought she loved , was turning out to be exactly like her father . she put up w/ him for as long as she could .... but it did just not work out . when her daughter was two and her son five , she divorced him and someway or another managed to pick up her career again . 

she moved out with her kids into a small apartment , struggling with money and having to ask her parents for aid which wasn’t rlly good for her pride , despite that she and her mom were like best friends .

sHE made it to london by pure will after juggling her two children and working as a high school teacher , though when she got an offer to teach as a professor in a university w/ heR OWN LAB AND RESEARCH TEAM she could Not pass it up . the only problem was tht this job was across the ocean , and away from her family and everything she and her children knew . 

still , she saw a brighter future , not only for herself but especially for her kids , so she packed up and said goodbye to the states . 

she’s been teaching in soho for two years now and she still hasn’t really adjusted . it’s obviously a very different life than the one she had in chicago , but she’s very determined to make it work . also she’s recently discovering her repressed inner lesbian so hmu for plots !!! ;))) 

shE’S a chemistry professor so ... @ any student connections hmu ... also any students whomst want 2 be on her research team A++ 

pERSONALity wise .... she’s a mess . she’s very lively and warm and inviting , but she is also extremely stubborn and unrestrained . you don’t agree w/ something she does ? Suck It . you have a stupid opinion ? Time to let u kno how absolutely wrong u are . she is NOT afraid of a fight . also she’s v scatterbrained .... there is so much on her schedule that she can barely keep up w/ so she’s never like ... calm . always going somewhere , always pacing places , chugging her coffee , carrying 789479 folders and books everywhere . 

hER class is pretty much this vine 

probably one of the least chill professors on campus in the best way possible . she’s so excited about chemistry and teaching her students . altho she is lenient and understanding she can also b strict af and doesn’t allow her kindness to b taken advantage of . rlly good at drawing lines . 

also her children are her whole world and she loves to brag about them ... since she doesn’t get enough time w/ them at home she sometimes takes them to her lab on campus or they’re there being a mess during her office hours and stressing her out but she’s 2 fond of them to leave them w/ their babysitter . 

oK so here is her v incomplete pinterest board ... expect a playlist Soon 

lAST BUT NOT LEAST is santana !!! he is ... a solid trip . this is my first time playing him so i’m puMPED and expecting the worst of him fhuidshfiusdhg. tw: drug use , abuse , alcoholism 

he is 23 , a Cancer , n from LA california like that red hot chili peppers song(s)

his childhood wasn’t chill at all . he grew up with four sisters and three brothers , so his parents never really had time for all of them individually . they were always kind of lumped together despite the differences in age . santana was one of the middle children so he got evEN LESS attention . 

he honestly does not understand what his parents were thinking when they had EIGHT whole kids , because they were poor as shit . they lived in a tiny house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms , where all the girls would be in 1 room , the boys in the other , and their parents in th third one . you could Not catch a moment of peace in this household . they basically lived on top of each other .

his older siblings were very bad influences , and so were his parents . it was all tough love , so he barely received any kindness or special treatment and had 2 go to school even if he was dying w/ the flu and got hit Bad when he acted out even a little bit bc his parents were Not about to deal w/ any disrespect . he actually pretty much got hit for just existing bc his parents didn’t want dumb kids and santana was failing in Everything at school so his dad especially tried to beat it into him but really he wasn’t dumb he had dyslexia and no one knew or cared enough to find out .

still , they didn’t really respect their children enough to demand their respect . they would cuss all of them tf out and allow them little to no privacy so they all became rEALLY GOOD liars , and all of them learned to have each other’s backs but rlly this only lasted during their childhoods/teenhoods . 

santana started doing really stupid shit during high school and once he got caught stealing wine from a grocery store w/ all his dumb little high school friends whomst were in possession of weed and ended up in juvenile prison for two years until he turned 18 . thEN while he was on parole he didn’t learn his fucking lesson and his parents/family were not supportive At All honestly it’s like they didn’t give 2 shits that he was in juvie they were just like ‘that’s what happens when you’re a goddamn moron’ so santana went out and did it aGAIN bc fuck parental guidance anyways

this time he got caught stealing a whole fucking car and in possession of not only weed but cocaine so he got locked up for 4 long ass years . honestly thought that he wouldn’t make it out but he rlly learned a lot in prison and he was used to getting no privacy anyways and just kinda dealt . the prison system he was stuck in Sucked so bad though like the guards were the Worst and he’d try to stay out of fights but Some Fucker would piss him off and BOOM he’d end up in the hole for a whole week . 

hOWEVER if it wasn’t for being there he would’ve never discovered his passion of art and drawing . he got Really Fucking good bc he had nothing else to do but sit around and try to find anything to pour all of his pent up energy into and drawing happened to be his greatest outlet . would just sit for as long as they let him and draw his time away . 

when he got out he went back to his fam but they were pretty much all split up . shit went Down while he was locked up and somehow his parents ended up w/ a giant grudge on their children and some of his siblings wanted to kill each other while others had just completely moved away to different parts of the states and had absolutely no communication w/ each other . 

santana decided to fuck it and pursue his dreams of being a tattoo artist far from LA and just decided to move to a different country entirely . 

Now u can find him giving tattoos in his apartment bc he doesn’t have enough $$$ to get a studio and while he Is training under a professional he’s not getting paid by them so he needs to make money somehow . it’s a secret that he’s tattooing when he’s not supposed to tho . Fuck the law . 

personality !!!! he’s basically .... very chill .... perhaps 2 chill .... 

even tho drugs got him some bad time in prison he hasn’t left them . still very 420 friendly and occasionally does the hard stuff . also loves 2 drink and party . 

he’s irresponsible !!!! he feels like he lost a lot of his life in prison so he’s trying to make up for it and while he’s being more careful ..... he still loves 2 fuck shit up .

he gets way too comfortable around people way too easily . he thinks this is a trait he picked up in jail bc he rlly had no other option but to shower with a bunch of dudes and shit out in the open , so he’s very comfortable with his body and being in the nude in general . also a touchy guy , likes cuddles and appreciates hugs . random meaningless touches are a Habit . 

he loves to hang and do whatever so if ur his friend chances are tht he’s hitting u up 24/7 to go do something . biggest extrovert there is . does not get tired of being in public / around people . also p flirty and gay as hell . 

sO find his pinterest board here and i’m also in the process of finishing a playlist for him hopefully soon 

thAT WOULD BE ALL FOR NOW !!! hmu and feel free to add me on discord ( a whole silly boy#2690 , kít (catastrothicc) in the group chat ) for plots and such !!! 

[vizhi0n]

Sundown - Part 3

Part 1 Part 2

If you wanna be tagged and untagged, lemme know!

@flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @crzcorgi @lucifers-trash-stash @mypapawinchester @kellyn1604 @i-am-negan-trash @superprincesspea @negans-network @ladylorelitanyfanfiction @genevievedarcygrangerwriting @hannibalssweaters @strangersangel9 @heartfulloffandoms @rapsity @divadinag @tolieboy @manawhaat @haleyea @kijilnn @my-achilles–heel @jasoncrouse @alyisdead 

This chapter is sorta long af (it was gonna be longer but i had to cut it down) but yeah lemme kno what u think. I don’t plan on this fic being any more than 10 chapters, at the most. 

Warnings: uh for this chapter just negans potty mouth and some gore. Is there smut in le next chapter? who knows? i shall not spill le beanz

Sundown was right around the corner. I’d watched Negan slowly drift off, falling asleep on the carpet, Lucille cuddled against him while he used his leather jacket as a pillow.

That was when I mustered the strength to grab my gun from the table, slipping it over my shoulder. I pulled up my own chair next to the window, where I’d sat for a few hours, surveying the stagnant area for any signs of Negan’s crew or, hell, Rick and the others coming back for me.

I’d given up hours before. In fact, I’d given up the moment I’d watched Gregory speed away like the coward he was. My chances of survival were practically nonexistent, but that primal, animalistic part of me that wanted to live kept me moving.

Negan stirred. I glanced behind me, watching him slowly sit up. He blinked a few times, Lucille resting in his lap. He was careful not to jostle his injury as he pulled himself into a chair.

“I’m keeping my gun,” I said.

“Won’t do you any fucking good. The rounds are in here,” Negan patted his pants pocket. “Sorry, not fucking sorry.”

I rolled my eyes, setting the gun next to the chair. I crossed my arms, watching the setting sun turn the clouds a beautiful pink and a vibrant orange.

My stomach began rumbling. Negan glanced up, jerking his chin towards the cabinets. “There might be food in there. Canned shit, but at least it’s fucking edible.”

He was right. I found two cans of beans and a few bottles of water. The food wasn’t as important — I could already feel my body beginning to become dehydrated. The humidity in the room didn’t help, either. I tossed a bottle to Negan, setting the beans on the table.

“I’m getting tired of waiting.”

“Then fucking do something about it,” Negan took a swig of water. “This is basically your fucking show. I can’t even fucking walk.”

“Is there a way I can get onto this roof?”

“Ladder on the other side. Why?”

“Could you get up there?” I turned to face him. “With me covering you? You go onto the roof and start shooting, clear a path for me?”

“There are several fucking flaws in that plan. First, I don’t fucking trust you enough for that shit. Second, I just said I can’t fucking walk. So fuck no I can’t climb a ladder.”

I rubbed my eyes. “Shit. That’s understandable,” I sighed, glancing around the room. I stood and began rummaging through each and every cabinet and closet I could find, aware that Negan was watching me.

Besides the cloth and beans and water I managed to salvage some wire, an old lighter, a rope with a hook attached to the end, several bottles of liquor, and what looked to be —

“A crowbar? I can work with this,” I nodded my head enthusiastically. Negan made no move to grab the weapon from me, instead beckoning for the bottle of liquor.

“Give me that shit,” he murmured. I obeyed, setting it on the table.

“Alcohol dehydrates you,” I said. “So, you know…you probably need to just not.”

“I asked, and you fucking gave,” Negan replied.

“Yeah but I assumed you had self control — you know, let’s change the topic,” I rested my chin in my hands. “I’m not pissed at you anymore.” 

“Lucky me.”

“Yeah. So, let’s talk. You said you wanted to have a conversation. Let’s converse.”

Negan eyed me warily, before shrugging his shoulders and saying, “I’ll fucking bite. How old are you?”

“Different question.”

“O-fucking-kay. What do you do, back at Alexandria?”

“I’m basically Judith’s babysitter,” I glanced down at the table. “I love kids, and I want to help out. I also run most of the garden. Glenn and Maggie used to do that together. With Maggie at Hilltop and Glenn….” I trailed off. “I wanted to take that over. Judith likes to help sometimes.”

“And then Rick made you a soldier?”

“I wanted to fight. I volunteered. I love taking care of Judith and I love gardening, but I know how to use a gun, how to kill walkers. Rick needed me because I didn’t have to be told what to do and how to do it. You know, humble foot soldier stuff.”

“I bet you regret that shit now.”

“What I regret is helping that asshole Gregory. The rest is cool.”

“You gonna kill him if you get out of here? Assuming that you’re alive and not one of those fuckers,” Negan flipped a thumb towards the scraping, undead hands against the windows. “I mean, I wouldn’t fucking blame you. Have you ever killed someone before?”

“We’re getting personal, now.”

“Me asking if you’re a virgin was fucking personal. This is just conversational shit. Everyone has done some fucked up shit before. Everyone.”

I stared, setting my crowbar on the table as Negan gingerly sipped some liquor.

“When I was on the run, alone. I was in college when all this shit went down. Wasn’t around my family. I still have no idea if they’re still alive,” I shrugged. “Because of my upbringing, because of what I’ve dealt with before the world ended, I’ve never had issues with death or killing. I mean, I’d never done it, but I knew that if I ever had to, I wouldn’t hesitate. And naturally when people started coming back from the dead, I had to protect myself. Fear makes people crazy.”

“How many?”

“Now? Maybe a dozen. Maybe. I don’t keep count because if I keep count, I start to care,” I ducked my head. “Most were over stupid stuff. Like stealing food, attacking my friends…friends that died, anyway. I don’t regret any of it and it doesn’t bother me.”

Negan whistled. His lips pulled back over those perfect white teeth and he smiled. “So I know you would have fucking killed me. Damn. Lucky for me I punched you in the fucking face.”

“Yeah. Thanks for that.”

“Don’t take that shit personally,” Negan leaned forward, wincing as he jostled his wound. He slid the liquor bottle across the table.

“I don’t like hard alcohol. I’m picky,” I grimaced. “I only like fruity stuff. Mojitos and whatnot.” 

“I can respect that.”

“Can I ask you questions, now?”

“Sure. I can’t guarantee that I’ll fucking answer, though.”

I sucked in a breath, looking him up and down. I was always drawn to his eyes — his eyes and his hands. His eyes, because they were dark, unflinching. His hands because they were calloused, fingers long, his grip powerful.

“What’s your favorite food?”

“Really?” Negan scoffed. “That’s what you ask me?” 

“Mine is pizza. Your turn. It’s only fair.”

“I don’t fucking know. It’s not like we have the time to grill out and shit anymore.”

“Before, what was it?" I asked. “C’mon. You don’t strike me as the boring type. Spill.”

“Goddamn. Fucking…chocolate covered strawberries. My wife, she—” Negan stumbled, stopping abruptly and cursing. “Shit.”

I grinned. “Got you to spill. You don’t have to tell me any more if you don’t want to.”

I stood, standing over Negan before spreading out the supplies I’d salvaged. I had a pretty good plan forming in my head. It was only a matter of executing it, and whether or not Negan would be on board.

If he’d trust you.

“I’m going to sleep. It’s sundown,” I said. “Wake me up in a few hours.”

“This is a very stupid fucking idea,” Negan said. I ignored him, measuring the rope. I gnawed on my bottom lip, praying that I had enough. “A very, very stupid idea.”

“At least it’s an idea,” I said. I slung the rope over my shoulder, turning and facing Negan. I deftly slid the gun across the table and into his waiting hand, adding, “Are you going to help me or not?”

“I don’t have a fucking choice. I really don’t want you to fucking die on me.”

“Good,” I flashed Negan a smile. He returned it, and I immediately felt warm. Like, fucking warm inside I shoved the feeling down and went back to focusing on my ludicrous plan. I checked the window once more, hearing Negan stand and join me.

“When I get on the roof, I’ll stomp my foot two times to let you know that I made it,” I said. “And I want you reply with two hits against the ceiling.”

“Do you even have enough fucking rope for this?”

“Yeah. It’s not that big of a gap between this building and the balcony. This rope is at least eight yards long. Maybe longer,” I swallowed, meeting Negan’s gaze. “This is a win-win for both of us. It’s not like your men will let me leave.”

“You’d fucking risk that? They have no idea who you are — I told them to kill any Alexandrian they see. You aren’t fucking exempt from that, and I can’t exactly call them off.”

“If we don’t do something, we��re dead anyway. I’ll risk it.”

“Ballsy,” Negan murmured. “I like that shit. I like it a lot.”

I brushed past Negan, standing in front of the door, crowbar in one hand, rope in the other. I knew thinking about it would only make me hesitate, waste time, so I looked back at Negan as he began loading the rifle and said, “Ready?”

“I was fucking born ready. Let’s get this over with.”

I pushed open the door. The noise and stench of the undead hit me like a freight train — at the sound of the metal door scraping against the concrete, they turned their heads, groaning at the sight of fresh meat.

Gunfire exploded next to me. Negan had pushed open the window, taking calculated, methodical shots. I leaped down the small stairs, clutching the rope tight against my body as I ducked and swerved and weaved through the thicket of walking corpses. One lunged and I swung the crowbar, catching it in the head.

“Left fucking side! Go! Get up there!” Negan shouted, gunning down a trio of approaching walkers. I cursed, ducking beneath sweeping hands and turning a corner. The rusty old ladder was there, right in front of me.

I furiously began climbing. I felt teeth scrape against the back of my boot, grimy hands pulling at my pant leg. I nearly lost my footing, but continued climbing, even as I felt my boot come loose, pulled into the crowd of walkers.

I was safe. Sort of. I scrambled atop the trailer, bending over to regain my breathing. With my one booted foot I stomped three times, and heard the faint sound of Negan pounding the ceiling three times in return.

Right across from me was a wide balcony with a door. That was my destination. i knelt, setting down the crowbar and wiping my brow. It felt nice, no longer being in that humid, cramped space. There was a nice breeze as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.

One shot at this. Shit. I began tying the rope to the top of the ladder, tugging it hard to ensure that it was tight enough. I bounced on my toes, sucking in huge breaths of air as I tried not to look down. I was afraid of heights. I was afraid of heights, but my will to survive was far more intense than my fear.

I threw the hooked end of the rope, hard. The metal carried it through the air and, to my surprise, it sailed over the balcony. I tugged and watched as it hooked itself around the railing. I pulled, testing its hold.

That’s a good few yards to scale.

I stomped two times to let Negan know that it had worked. I heard two more hits in return. I grabbed my crowbar, shoving it into my belt. Then I began climbing, amazed that the rope didn’t snap as it strained to hold my weight. The walkers were looking up now, arms outstretched as I shimmied across the rope. I used my legs and arms, going slow and steady.

I was a little over halfway there when I heard the balcony door fly open.

Shit.

I craned my neck, tilting my head back. I could see the upside down figure standing with his arms crossed and a devilish smirk on his face. I immediately recognized the man as Simon.

Forming words was very hard while hanging upside down from a suspended rope. 

“Hell of a contraption you got there,” Simon poked at the hook, and I immediately began breathlessly shouting.

“Wait. Wait, wait, dude, don’t. Don’t. Just wait — shit,” I tried scaling the rope faster. Simon drew his knife, and I stopped immediately. “Dude, I’m on your side. Negan is in the trailer. He’s hurt and we’re both stuck—”

“Now why the hell would I believe you?” Simon’s smile faded. “If I remember correctly, you were one of the people shooting at me. Yeah. I remember — one of your bullets almost blew my face off.”

“I’m sorry, dude, I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry. To be fair you shot back—”

“I’ll give you a choice. You can crawl back down onto that trailer, or you can keep going until you get here and have to deal with me. I’d very much like the latter,” Simon raised his knife so I could really see it.

I didn’t like the latter. I’d die, immediately. There was no way I would be able to take Simon in a fight. But I kept going, slower than before, praying that Simon would believe me.

“I have no reason to lie. I swear,” I shouted. Simon frowned, but didn’t look at me. He stepped closer to the hook and I boldly released one hand from around the rope, reaching for him in a plea. “Don’t, dude, don’t. Seriously. I’m not playing. Please don’t. For the love of God don’t! I’m begging you, man!”

“Too late for that.”

I shrieked as he brought his knife down upon the rope, sawing away. The entire time I was screaming, pleading as I felt the rope sag until it finally snapped. I plummeted, the rush of wind tearing my desperate howls from my throat. I landed atop a car, feeling and hearing the windshield shatter as my back impacted the glass. I slid like a raindrop , discarded onto the concrete.

Ow.

Concussion? Probably. Something in my left shoulder really, really hurt, and I could barely breathe.

“Negan—”

Walkers around me began dropping. Ignoring the pounding agony in my head, I unsheathed my crowbar and swung. I shouldered my way through the herd, disoriented and confused. The trailer door was like a hazy object floating in the fog. My right eye went dark — I realized that I’d closed it to keep out the blood cascading down my face.

The trailer door opened. I saw Negan, leaning against the frame, reaching towards me.

“Get the fuck in here, now! Hustle!”

I threw myself through the door. Negan slammed it shut, sagging against it as his injured leg gave out.

We both lay, trying to regain our composure and our breath. I tried to move my arm, but it refused, pinpricks of pain shooting through my entire body. I prayed that I hadn’t broken it.

“Shit, girl, what happened?” Negan struggled to stand. He limped over, taking a seat next to me on the ground. I was caught up in my own pain, barely acknowledging that he was there.

“Your boy Simon happened,” I said, finally able to speak. “I was almost there, Negan. I was so fucking close—”

“Did he cut the rope?”

“Yeah.”

“Goddammit, Simon,” Negan gazed at the ceiling. He slammed his fist against the ground, cursing once more. “Fucking hell. If I die because of his dumbass—”

“He wasn’t having it. I tried,” I groaned. “Shit. Negan, I think my arm is fucked up…”

“Let me see it,” Negan helped me sit up. I immediately felt woozy and nauseous, a clear sign that along with some broken ribs and possibly an arm, that I was also most likely concussed. Negan gingerly grasped my arm, lips pressed into a grim line. “No. Your shoulder might be dislocated — yep. Shit.”

“Fix it for me.”

“Are you sure?” Negan leaned in close. When I didn’t look at him, he gently grasped my chin between his thumb and his forefinger, moving my head. “I said ‘are you sure’?”

“I’m sure,” I pulled away. “Go ahead and do it.”

I closed my eyes. I felt Negan’s big hands wrap around me. He didn’t hesitate or count or give me any warning as he snapped my shoulder back into place.

The scream I let out was inhuman. Tears gushed from my eyes as I grit my teeth, fighting through waves and waves of pain. My wooziness only increased, and Negan held me until I finally managed to open my eyes.

I sat in silence, hardly able to move as he grabbed a cloth and began tending to the gash on my head, wiping away the blood.

“It’s dark as shit. We aren’t doing anything else tonight,” Negan said. I watched as he removed his jacket, draping it over my shoulders. The leather engulfed my small body like a blanket. “Go to sleep. You need it.”