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jishyucks · 4 years

Text

Eight Count ‣ lmh

‣ genre: fluff, enemies-to-lovers, hogwarts!au, I think it's a slow burn

‣ wc: 10.8k

‣ summary: "There's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." ; in which fate decides to be an ass and make you and Minho dance partners

‣ an: I'm sosososo sorry @ whoever requested this bc of how long it took. I didn't mean for it to be so long but it kept going and uni is to blame bc all of the work :(( but anyways enjoy !!

You feel the beat of your heart quicken as you maneuver through the maze of corridors that you had begun to approach. Time was ticking. The first classes of the day had already started about half an hour ago, and here you were, racing down the stone hallways, tardy and a bit dazed.

It had only been a mere five minutes since you had woken up in the dormitories in pure panic, the realization that everyone had left and you were still cuddled up against one of the pillows in your bed driving you to act quick. You could accuse your housemates of not even bothering to check if you were alive, but you soon decided to place the blame on your body's restlessness and inability to go to sleep when you wished. You wouldn't call it insomnia, but your sleeping patterns weren't normal either.

Approaching the dance room with a quiet sigh of relief, you tug at the wooden door and peek in, hoping that you weren't barging in at such a humiliating time.

Scattered around the rather room, students were paired in twos. Each couple's bodies had been facing each other, hands sitting awkwardly in the other's while their faces were turned towards the dance instructors, Professor Shin and Professor Na. By the look on Professor Shin's face, it was evident that she was about to continue speaking, but the door swinging open had caught her attention.

"Ahh Y/N, nice of you to finally join us," she clasped her hands in genuine excitement, passion towards dance obviously bubbling up inside of her.

You grinned crudely and bowed your head, "W-what should I do, Professor?" Spotting your best friend Felix within the group of students, he tried his best to send you a look of 'we were supposed to be partners'. You shot him an apologetic expression back before turning your attention back to both professors.

After a brief pause in thought, Professor Na's face lit up, "Ah yes! Lee Minho lacks a partner as of now!" Following the eyes of your teacher, they brought your line of sight to the far corner of the room where Minho had been sitting. At the mention of his name, he raised his head to see that everyone had been gaping back at him in what seemed like total silence.

A sharp intake of air through your nose had replicated a gasp, eyes growing wide, "P-pardon?" Out of all the boys in the class, an amount you couldn't keep track of with your fingers, you had to end up with Lee Minho? The human embodiment of a wet sock?

Minho was… unbearable, to say the least. It wasn't that he had done something for you to hate him, which made you seem like a bad person, but in all honesty, your guys' personalities didn't seem to match. He was too arrogant, in your opinion. He has this energy that he carries that really didn't sit well with you, and by the looks of it, the feeling was mutual. It was as if you both ended up on the opposite bc end of everything.

It really doesn't help that you're a Hufflepuff, and he's a Slytherin. For some unknown reason, they always loved teasing the people from your house, though Hufflepuffs chose not to return their actions.

"Mr. Lee is the only student remaining with no partner."

You gulped and slowly approached him, only because your professors had motioned you over to him. If you could protest, you would, but what was holding you back was the attention given by the entire class and the teacher's who seemed too excited for their own good.

Minho pressed his tongue against his inner cheek, eyes lighting up in wrongly-fueled happiness. He hopped from the upper bench and down across from you. You blinked back at him dryly, maintaining calm yet trying to speak to him with your eyes.

Crossing his arms, he leaned forward and smirked, "Why the bitter face? You should relish in your luck for ending up with me."

"Stop talking, dead cells are coming out of your mouth… Luck my as–"

"Now! That everyone has a partner, I'd like you all to stick with these individuals until these classes are finished," Professor Shin had announced. It was quickly followed by groans and whining from many of your classmates. Though you hated your partner and wished you had arrived earlier and paired with Felix, you stood quiet, isolating the anger within your chest.

"And before we begin once again," Professor Na added, "I'd like to point out that this is still a class. We will be holding a class particularly focused on evaluation and your grade will be heavily based on participation over the length of this course." Once again, a chorus of grumbles had flooded the room.

You hear Minho curse under his breath, only because he was now two steps too far into your bubble, "This is utter bullshit."

This time it was your turn to taunt, "Why? Are you scared or something? Can't dance? Can't keep up with everyone?"

Narrowing his eyes, he scoffs, "Oh, shut your mouth, bumblebee. Just wait and see."

ii.

"Get up!" Felix tugged at your arm, voice sounding louder than it actually was. When you hadn't shifted at all in your bed, he sighed and tugged once more, "Y/N!"

"Wha– Felix you're not allowed in here!" You kicked at your blanket and sat up.

"We need to get to dance class," he clicked his tongue, "Let's go~"

"I really don't want to go," you whined, "I'd rather fail a class than hold hands with Lee Minho for an hour and a half." Felix dragged you out of your bed to see that you were already dressed in your robe, only your yellow and black tie had been carelessly tied.

"Wait, did you not change out your clothes from yesterday?" Felix jumped back in exaggeration, alarmed and slightly grossed out. His nose scrunched while he judged you through his eyes.

You glared at him and scoff, "Of course I did, you idiot. And don't act like you haven't done that." You take this as your victory as it was true, Felix had gone two days without changing, and it was a bit nasty considering all the places he's gone to in a day.

This time it was his turn to glare at you, "You shut your mouth! Now let's leave before Snape sees us roaming the halls once class starts."

Minho winced slightly, trying not to let your feet ruin the simple waltz routine that the class had finally run through, "If you step on my foot one more time, I'm shoving yours up your arse." His teeth were gritted in frustration, looking down at you with narrowed eyes.

"Then stop stepping on my feet," you muttered back, hoping that no one else, especially the professors, were hearing you two bicker.

It had only been about two lessons into the class and that amount of times that Minho had purposefully disrupted the routine… as if it were good, to begin with.

The two of you found it difficult to fall in sync with each other. It was always either going too fast or too slow, someone making an 'accidental' mistake, and Minho's favourite, holding your hand and hip with a tight and stubborn grip. It wasn't evident whether he was doing it on purpose, either, but you had pointed it out plenty of times, and he never seemed to loosen them.

"I'm not stepping on them," he pushed you back a little too early in the dance, causing you to stumble on your own feet. This caught the attention of those around you, though they carried on almost immediately after.

"Tell that to my bruised toe," you argued back.

As if you were being blessed, the music had finally come to an end. You promptly retracting your arms and to your body and taking a step back from Minho. He had done the same, going an extra mile to turn away from you and to the professors.

"Perfect! Perfect!" Professor Na's face lit up from excitement, "Now that we have learned this simple routine, next class we are moving on to one of the actual dances done in the Yule Ball as tradition. I hope you all are excited as I am!" Very few students had taken time to let out a "whoop" while everyone else, including you, chose to retrieve their books at the seats.

Felix approached you with a pitiful smile. He already knew what you were going to say, patting your back gently, "So how was it?"

Exhausted, you just shook your head and shrugged. Being partners with Minho honestly had been completely draining for you, mentally and physically, which was unusual as you could often live through such situations without feeling the need to scream.

"What else do you think?"

Felix nodded apologetically and puffed out his cheeks, "Is it as bad as the potions exam we had in fourth year?" He shuddered subtly and led you out of the classroom. Just thinking about that exam made Felix want to claw at his brain. If there was a way to take a particular memory and make it disappear from the chamber of long term memories, he would. Maybe then he'd be able to get a few more hours of sleep.

"Yes," you replied simply. The test was equally as horrible for you, but a test didn't force you to 'create chemistry' with a certain Slytherin.

"You're lying… can't be that bad," Felix laughed lightly.

"Easy for you to say," you sighed.

From behind, you feel someone bump your shoulder and pass by you, "Oops," he snickered, walking backwards to watch your reaction. The only thing he was missing was popcorn.

You turned to see Minho and rolled your eyes, "Ha-Ha, you're so funny, Lee Minho." Such a childish joke and you guys were almost leaving Hogwarts.

Though your reply had been dripping in sarcasm, Minho's wit had dodged it entirely, "Well thank you very much," he bowed, more like a manly curtsy, before he ran off, leaving Felix slightly puzzled at what just happened.

"Don't you see how much of a dingbat he is? He constantly chooses to pick on me just to get a reaction out of me," you utter, "He should be glad I was raised to be patient, if not I'd be hexing him like the world was near its end."

"I see a pattern," Felix hummed. The expression on his face looked as if he had come to an incredible epiphany.

Making a face, you click your tongue, "What do you even mean by that?" What pattern? Green, white, green, white? Minho and his constant need to be the crow to your crops?

Felix patted your head, "You're slow sometimes, you know that right?" He puffed his cheeks up and raised his brows as he looked down at you as if you were a kid.

"Can you just spit it out?" you narrowed your eyes at him before you physically pried his hand off your head.

"Minho does all of that just to get a reaction out of you," Felix presses his lips into a thin line, slowly forming a smile.

Finally arriving at the next classroom, you groaned, "You basically repeated what I said earlier…"

"If you didn't know this already, boys love getting attention from someone they are attracted to," Felix plopped into his seat. You followed right after, "I should know… I'm a boy."

You almost laugh at the tone of his voice. The confidence and the look he gave you to emphasize his statement; was all too funny, "So what you're saying is… Lee Minho has a – and god forbid– crush on me?" Felix nods like a young child, with eyes wide and a tight-lipped smile.

"Bollocks," You burst out laughing, "Felix, I love you, don't get me wrong, but you've never said anything more rubbish in the years I've known you."

"The chances are never zero," Felix put his index finger as if he were saying it in 'a matter of fact'.

You lean forward and sit your chin at your folded forearms. You eyed the teacher as she made her way into the room, "You're right there, Lix, but there's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." You locked that statement in, feeling your words and emotions contradict.

Right?

iii.

"And then Y/N had the audacity to step on my foot," Minho kicked at the bench across from him, frustration released after what seemed to Seungmin was years of ranting. He didn't mind though, in years of being in the same house as him, he learned how to block him out yet still know what was going on when Minho asked for some sort of reply.

Minho tapped the end of his pencil against his textbook, eyes drifting off elsewhere in the grand hall. Students were clumped at their respective tables, studying for whatever class they had. Minho was trying to do the same, but his state of mind was not in the mood. But he was trying, he was pushing himself, that's what mattered in his opinion.

Turning his attention to Seungmin, who was seated next to him, he jumped, seeing that Seungmin's eyes were wide and directed at him, "What the hell!?"

"What?" Seungmin shifted back forward, facing his own books. In a sense, the scene was hysterical. He acted as if he hadn't done anything wrong or out of the ordinary, but Minho still tried to push an explanation out of him through looks.

"What do you mean what? Why were you looking at me like that?" Minho put his pencil down and closed his book on it.

"I was trying to see something," the boy shrugged and got back to his own work.

Again, Minho furrowed his brows at Seungmin's lack of detail in his response. What in the world was he even trying to do? "Trying to see what? If you don't answer me properly–"

"Okay! Okay!" Seungmin exclaimed a little too loudly, earning looks from other wizards in the room, "You know that saying that if you're in love, you start to glow?"

"No? What type of nonsense are you saying?" Minho scoffed, "Love? Are you sick or something?" Roughly, Minho brought the back of his hand to Seungmin's forehead, which Seungmin had thrown off almost right away.

"You've been talking about Y/N this entire period, you haven't stopped until moments ago," wiggling his eyebrows, Seungmin whispered his reply to Minho, making sure no one would be able to hear him this time.

Minho's face had contorted into one of disgust and confusion, "And?" Where was Seungmin even going with this? He was just relieving stress. It's not that deep.

"My point is that they're the only thing you've been talking about lately," Seungmin scribbles his pen at the top of his paper to get it to work, "Even if I start the conversation, it somehow just shifts to Y/N. Normally I'd be mad, but since you're in love, I'll let it pass."

"In love?" Minho's jaw dropped, a mixture of emotions swimming around inside of him, "In love!?" Trying to find words to perfectly reflect what he was saying, he fails, shoving Seungmin off the bench. Actions spoke louder than words, right?

Seungmin smirked and chuckled, unfazed, "What? Cat got your tongue?" He gets up, dusting his robe off before sitting back down, "It's because I'm right, aren't I?"

Minho gulps, "Will you quit it? You're…"

"I'm…?"

"You're confusing me. Quit it," Minho huffs, gathering all his things as he was planning to return to the dormitories. This was a different way of playing with emotions. There was a zero per cent chance that he liked you, or worse, loved you. That word was way too strong, dangerous like amortentia.

"I take that as a yes!" Seungmin stood his ground, just letting out a genuine laugh.

Minho held a finger up at Seungmin, who still laughed, unbothered. He didn't like you. And if he did, it wasn't wrong to do so. It was an ordinary mortal thing to have feelings. But that didn't matter right now because he didn't like you, not even a tiny crush.

But that slight state of unfamiliar panic in his heart says otherwise.

iv.

The muscles in your arm were aching from the horrible fact that Minho had been purposefully letting his arm go limp while he was holding your hand, which somehow led to you holding up his arm with your arm. You frowned at him, tempted to let your arm fall in the middle of the routine.

"Can you actually put in some effort?" you whispered through gritted teeth. Squeezing Minnho's hand, you directed a look of annoyance that only returned with an amused look. Underneath his robe, you could tell he had been intentionally dragging his feet, causing the both of you to slowly hold those partnerships behind you up.

"I'm not wasting energy on this," he shrugs quietly, "It's ridiculous."

"What don't you find ridiculous?" you rolled your eyes, "You Slytherins and the lack of interest in anything but yourselves. Where's the excitement in that?" No, you didn't want to generalize the entire Slytherin population, especially since you had family members from that house, but you knew exactly how to rev up Minho's engine. Just by the way his face twisted, you knew damn well you hit the right spot.

"Shut your mouth before I spin you a little too hard…" he said a little bit louder, "I don't find it ridiculous, I just find that us being partners is ridiculous… who in this entire school would want to be partners with you?" Before you could even reply, he had caught you, "That's not from your house."

"Jokes on you, I know plenty of people who would be partners with me," you scoffed, and it was true. There was Jisung who had somehow been sorted into Gryffindor, Hyunjin and their seniors, Bang Chan and Changbin. And there was Jeongin, who was a Ravenclaw. You could list a handful more, but that's beside the point.

"Silence is deadly," he stifled a laugh which had driven you to 'accidentally' stumble over your own feet. This caused him to stumble himself, only he wasn't prepared for it, "I'm blaming you for ending up being my partner. I was hoping someone else would've entered the room. But no, it had to be you."

"You're blaming me? For this?" You shake your head out of disbelief, not noticing that your voice had gone louder. You were catching the attention of those around you and the professors at the front of the room, "You could have found a partner you wanted in the first place but you probably decided to stay back and wait for someone to go up to you. No one wanted to be partners with you, which is why you ended up alone in the first place."

Minho's eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost on fire at what you had just said, "You know what?!"

Before he had been able to continue the banter, Professor Shin had cleared her throat. The glares that they both were sending your way had caused the both of you to stop with the squabbling, "Y/N, Minho, I know we've never talked to the two of you about your constant bickering, but it is simply interrupting the atmosphere of my classroom."

Taken aback, the both of you had stumbled over each other's feet, falling to the ground and causing a domino effect among the rest of the students.

Flustered, you turn to Minho, "That was all your fault, Lee Minho." You huffed and attempted to get up, failing once you noticed that Minho was practically lying on your leg.

"Oh be quiet," he rolled his eyes and dusted himself off, "That was all you! You and your two left feet." The rest of the room was silent, regardless of the incident. All ears and eyes were on the 'love birds,' not entirely sure whether or not they should blame you both on what had just happened.

Sliding out from underneath him, you scoffed, "Don't speak so highly of yourself, Minho."

Minho cackled, "Highly? Of myself?!"

"Stop this instant!" Professor Na had finally mustered up the courage to intervene, anger bubbling in his stomach, "Enough!" The two professors began helping the students up, scolding both of you as they did.

"Five points deducted from your respective houses," Professor Shin said sharply, "And you both are now in charge of polishing the floor every Friday for the following three weeks."

"But professor–"

Minho was cut off, "That, or ten points off for your houses…" And without another word, you both chose to polish the floors after all classes were done for the day.

Day one of polishing the floors was practically the most difficult. Not only did the professors restrict using magic to finish the chore, but the overall idea of doing something alongside Minho aggravated you, which was why you hated dancing with him so much. The comments he'd make, the taunting looks he'd give you, the jokes that were obviously uncalled for, they all were honestly bringing you to the point of near insanity.

At first, both of you had decided to start off on the same side, almost the same corner. But the moment you noticed Minho constantly glancing your way in the corner of your eye, you decided against it, "How about I start at that end."

"Whatever floats your boat," he mumbles, "I don't care."

The tone in his voice hadn't matched yours, which you assumed was polite enough not to spark some type of that energy in him, but it did.

"Whatever," you make your way to the other end, sliding your robe off on the way. You let it hang off one of the benches, making sure it wasn't touching the floor. You rolled up your sleeves and started polishing the further end of the room, a bit relieved that Minho wasn't hovering anywhere within your line of sight. It was better that way.

The second day, you were hoping that you could get through a period of cleaning without hearing Minho's ungodly voice. He had been moving back and forth from one corner to the other, feet squeaking seemingly endlessly against the floor. You wished that the volume of the music could be turned up louder.

"I'm doing more than you are," Minho pointed out. You turned to find that he was standing in the middle of the room, hair messy and beads of sweat lining his hairline. His collar was out of place, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows just as yours were. Did he, for some reason, look attractive, or was it the lack of light in the room? Probably the latter.

"What do you mean you're doing more than I am?" you feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, "I'm doing the same amount of work as you." And you were, but you were working just a bit slower than he was. He had probably sped through his area with the idea that the sooner you both finished, the sooner you were able to leave.

"Just hurry up," he groaned. Minho dragged his feet over to a lone stool, pushing it against the wall before plopping into it. The music continued to play, drowning out the shuffle noises of his feet.

"No," you replied, keeping your speed consistent. It wasn't like you wanted to stay longer. It was the fact that Minho couldn't leave until you were finished that was making you act this way. Maybe if he did his job well, he wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing.

Tile by tile, you continued to carry out the chore given to you, not paying mind to the pair of eyes that were burning holes into your back. You ensured that the areas you had worked on were basically spotless, reflection or not, you assumed that shiny meant clean.

Minho had been humming along to the somewhat catchy tune, foot tapping to pass the precious time he believed you were wasting. Nonetheless, he leaned back and sighed, hoping you could finish in time, so he had time to nap before dinner.

"Why do they even need classes for dancing?" He sighed out. At first, you weren't quite sure if he was speaking to you or if he was just thinking out loud, "I feel like we'd be fine either way…" You turn to look at him, seeing that he was already staring at you down.

"I mean it's going to look nice at the Yule Ball,"

You replied.

"Yeah but not everyone's going… it's a waste of time," Minho had a point, yet you still found it somewhat amusing that the school would want to organize such things.

"I don't see why you don't just skip class if you find it a waste of time," you moved onto another spot and sighed, "No one's stopping you."

"Yeah but who'd be your partner then?"

Not knowing how to react to his question, you keep quiet. Minho decided not to follow up on the problem, thinking that he had said something out of the ordinary.

The sun had reached the horizon when you finished your portion of the room. You stood up to stretch, hearing the joints of your knees and back pop out of exhaustion. It was satisfying to see the difference between the used, scruffy floor and the clean, polished floor.

"Okay Lee Minho I'm finished," without taking a glance at the boy, you made your way over to the record player. You lifted the needle off and picked the record up, slipping it into its sleeve. It didn't occur to you that Minho hadn't shifted in the past thirty minutes, silence filling the room because you turned the music off.

"Minho?" Finally turning to him, you found him sleeping with his head sat back against the wall. His mouth was wide open, practically becoming a makeshift trap for bugs that happened to be flying around. The rest of his body was limp, legs spread out beneath him. It was surprising that he hadn't fallen off yet.

You walked up to his sleeping figure and laughed lightly, wishing you had a camera to capture this moment. It would've been great blackmail. Maybe then he'd start being nice to you. Naturally, your eyes followed the slope of his nose, then to the two front teeth that stuck out from underneath his top lip.

He had bunny-like features, and you didn't mean that in a wrong way. His face was still sculpted nonetheless. Anyone with eyes would have to admit that he was attractive.

"Done staring at me yet?"

You screamed and jumped back, pressing your hand up to your chest as if to calm you down. Looking back at Minho, you find that his eyes were still closed, yet a smirk had replaced his gaping mouth. The number of curse words that threatened to leave your mouth was countless, the embarrassment creeping up to your cheeks. He finally lifted his head to look at you, eyes still a bit droopy from his nap.

"I-I wasn't staring at you," you denied, shaking your head a bit too aggressively, "Well I was… but because I was laughing at how foolish you just looked."

An offended look surfaced Minho's face, scowling at you as he stood, "I have this feeling that you're lying, bumblebee… Anyways, this is where I leave. Finally, after years." He shook his rolled-up sleeves so that the cuffs slid back to his wrists. You let him leave without another word from the two of you, still in a bit of shock at what just happened. You knew he was never going to let you forget that.

You slumped next to Felix as dinner was being served, an expression almost as heavy as your posture. He looked down at you, debating whether or not he should interrupt the mini montage you were probably playing through your head.

"I want to ask you how the cleaning today was but I think I already know just by looking at you," he stated, sliding a piece of roasted chicken your way, "Unless you do want to speak about it. Just eat and the day's over."

You gave him a grateful smile and gestured for him to eat too, eyes lighting up slightly, "I'm actually not tired from cleaning that stupid dance room, but it's just… this thing that happened. It was beyond embarrassing."

Felix snorts and stuffs his cheeks with food. His words came out muffled as he still chose to reply with a full mouth, "What happened this time?"

You glanced towards the Slytherin table, eyes scanning it quickly to get one quick look at Minho before you whispered, "Minho fell asleep waiting for me to finish cleaning. He looked idiotic as he did so I sorta just—how do I say this— stared at him? But it wasn't like I was admiring him, it was more like I didn't want that stupid look on his face to go away. It was amusing."

"And?"

"In the middle of that he went, 'are you done staring yet?' It was like he had a sixth sense or something," you muttered, "Now I feel like he's making fun of me."

"Doesn't he always make fun of you," Felix had yet again stuffed his mouth, so his words were still muffled, "Why does it matter this time?"

"It's different. It's not some useless situation… it was genuinely embarrassing," you poke the food before taking a bite of your own, "He's going to it against me, I already know."

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'll forget it sooner than you will."

"Hey remember when I caught you staring at me?" Minho's voice echoed faintly throughout the room. He stood up to stretch before he crouched back down.

"I never stared at you," you sneered, "And why are you talking about that as if it happened years ago. That was literally last week."

"That's long enough in my book," he retorted, "Good times." A small reminiscing type smile appearing on his lips.

"Can you not start? I sorta want today to be stress-free and you're literally ruining it," you roll your eyes and move onto the next tile on your side. Minho had decided to choose a different record to play today, one the professors had never played in class. It had been hidden behind all the other records being used, and it took Minho a good five minutes to rake through all of them just to get to it.

The songs were more upbeat than the waltz music you were forced to listen to, which was actually much more perfect for cleaning to. It made it a bit more bearable than the last two times you had to clean.

Minho didn't reply, though you didn't see how he switched glances between you and the mechanical polisher in hand. The track had shifted into a faster song, something that was easy to dance to. From where he stood, he could see your knitted eyebrows, eyes dropping from the slight fatigue blanketing over you after a long school day.

Upon awareness that his shoulders were slumped, he straightened himself and sighed. This week had indeed been a long week, and it was evident in some way in both of you. This was the last of the week's labour before he could go and relax while mindlessly saving his homework for Sunday.

The music had been tempting to let go earlier than he should for the week, the steady beat and the catchy melody filling the room.

Putting the polisher and the rag down, he took a few steps towards you, still contemplating whether he should do what he was thinking or not. He was unsure whether it was bizarre for him to pull such a thing. But you did say you wanted a stress-free day, so he thought he should switch up a bit.

He started moving his body to the rhythm of the music, head bobbing as it took over him naturally. It was easier dancing alone than with a partner, that's for sure, but he wanted to invite you.

"Y/N!" He was freestyling, arms flailing and legs bringing him across the room with a swift movement.

You sighed, "What now?" Turning to Minho, you find him in the middle of the dance room, doing what the room was made for. He had a foreign smile on his face, not the usual smirk you'd find him sporting.

"What the–"

"Join me!"

You went through several different emotions in seconds, confusion, amusement, joy, contemplation… how were you supposed to react to a goofy Minho?

"Join me!" He repeated. This time he approached you, hands out in invitation, "C'mon it's fun!"

"Minho, we have to finish this so we can leave, remember?" You tried to keep a stern look on your face, yet you couldn't hold back the smile that had been forcing itself out. Minho suited this look; It was happier and carefree. You didn't know that his eyes would light up when he smiled a somewhat gummy smile.

"I know, but let's take a break," being the impatient boy he was, he took hold of your hands and pulled you up. He led you in a dance that probably wasn't considered a partner dance. He just pushed your arms back and forth like those scenes in the movies.

"Minho!" You finally let out a laugh, feet unable to keep up with his. He was sidestepping left, then sidestepping right, then back and forth, all unplanned. You stumbled, letting out joyful laughter that was rare around Minho. He laughed along with you, eyes disappearing the bigger his smile got.

When your legs had gotten worn out from constant movement, you tripped over one of them, sending you and your dance partner to the ground. Instead of erupting anger that would have usually washed over you, fits of laughter fell in its place, echoing throughout the room.

Before you could ask if he was okay, you hear footsteps enter the room, a confused Professor Shin staring the both of you down, "What are you two doing?! This is not polishing the floors!" The exasperation changed the normal hue of her skin into a shade of crimson.

Quickly apologizing, you get up and return to your so-called 'stations,' not being able to say another word about what had just happened to each other.

You wouldn't admit it out loud, not in front of Minho at least… but that was the most fun you've had in weeks.

Little did you know, Minho felt the same way.

There was a part of you who had gotten used to Minho's horrible dancing after two weeks of dancing classes. After what happened last week, there was a tiny sliver of toleration that had surfaced from both of you. It was mutual. But obviously, neither of you were going to admit it.

Though Minho was starting to get somewhat bearable, there were still days when he'd begin to act up, smirk pinned tightly on his lips while he mischievously pranced about in the dance room. Today was one of those days.

When Professor had slipped the record onto the play, dropping the needle onto the very edge and starting it, Minho had chosen to let his body go heavy, relying on you to haul him around like a giant, weighted ragdoll. You knew he wasn't tired, just judging by the look in his eyes.

"Give it up," you tugged him roughly in one direction, then again towards another, feet hardly following the steps the class was taught the past few weeks. If Minho let his body grow just a bit limper than it already was, his head would have fallen directly onto your shoulder. If you were being honest, you didn't want any attention from anyone else in the room, "Lee Minho, I'm not in the mood for this today, okay?"

Minho's ears perked at the foreign tone that had slipped from your lips, sensing that you were being serious. You would tell him to quit it most days, but never with that tone; It was no fun if you weren't fighting back. Sighing quietly, he had picked his body up and started to follow the eight-count that Professor Shin was practically yelling out.

This minor change didn't go unnoticed by you, feeling his body grow lighter just moments after you'd ask him to quit it. Did he just…?

Other students in the room were surprised that you two were going more than thirty seconds without arguing like a married couple. Many sets of eyes didn't bother leaving the both of you, watching what would happen next in the twist of events.

Minho's feet carried his body swiftly; for the first time, he was guiding you like he was supposed to, but his eyes were glued to his feet, not wanting it to become weird if he were to make accidental eye contact with you. He didn't like how quiet it was between the both of you. The music didn't even do its purpose by filling the silence.

"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" Minho asked awkwardly. He twirled you as part of the dance. He recognized that look on your face which was basically a wordless reply, "That was probably a dumb question." Shaking his head, Minho mentally slapped himself. Never in his life did he fail with words.

"Of course I'm going," you replied rather expressionless, "Why would I not?" You were almost as confused as earlier. Minho trying to make a civilized conversation. Who the fuck was this? It wasn't Minho.

He shrugs, "I don't know… I guess you have a date…?" Minho, what the fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut as if the stone floor would swallow him wholly to take him away from this situation.

As puzzled as you were, you still decided to keep the conversation as it was, "Nope… I think I'm just going with Felix for fun." You tried to keep your tone calm when really you were freaking out. The only thing was you had no idea why you were freaking out, "Y-you?" Facepalm.

"No one."

None of you chose to speak after, not knowing where the conversation was going. The song was slowly reaching the end, which you had wished came sooner. Minho's hands were growing sweaty, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe your hand off. It was getting hot in the room too. Your collar was growing tight, throat itching for water.

Minho's heart was beating a bit too fast for his liking, but it was probably because he was growing tired from the moving. He wondered if you could feel how sweaty his hands were getting. Embarrassing.

"Final counts!" Professor Na called out before the static of the record player replaced the music. The two of the professors had clapped in adoration, overlooking all the students in the room.

Professor Shin had a broad smile on her face, "Beautiful! Gorgeous! Best one so far!" She twirled in place, "Thank you everyone! The Yule ball is in two weeks so I am very pleased with the effort you all are putting into this class! Remember we still have the final class in which you are graded, which I'm sure you all will ace."

"I couldn't care less," Minho mumbled, only so you could hear.

You turn to him, squinting your eyes and tilting your head to express your slight frustration, "You know I'm your partner right?"

"Oh no~ really?," he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "And?"

"And? I don't want to fail this class, even though I'm forced to dance with you," you stated, "So don't you fucking dare fail us both." That tone in your voice was evident once again, catching Minho off guard. The only reason that it had this effect on him was that he was so used to you choosing to fight back. It was like some sort of reminder that everyone around him was getting old, and soon all those around him were expected to be serious.

Nevertheless, Minho shrugs to annoy you, "Whatever."

Instead of answering, you eyed him once more. Your dancing just a few moments ago says otherwise.

You had practically sighed out the total capacity of your lungs as you hung onto Felix's arms on the way out the door.

"What are you sighing about?" He chuckled.

"You already know," you elbowed him.

Felix rolled his eyes and sang, "I saw you guys dancing earlier~."

You pushed him away gently, shock littering your face and posture, "What the bloody hell are you on about now, Lee?"

"You guys actually look cute together when you aren't babbling and all," he grinned innocently. Your heart had the audacity to skip a beat, startling you just as much as Felix did.

"Cute?" You scoffed, "First you said you think he liked me, now this? Are you his wingman or something? Are you trying to get me to like him?"

Felix skipped in his step, "I don't even talk to Minho, Y/N, don't be ridiculous… wait… did you basically just say you're starting to like him?" He gasped, hand slapping over his mouth, which had fallen in shock.

"No," you say flatly.

"Liar," Felix poked at your rib, "Liar. At least confess that you find him less bad."

"Sure, whatever makes you happy, Felix."

When you had fallen out of Felix's line of sight, you let the corner of your mouths turn up slightly. He said we looked cute, you think, only followed by you flicking yourself in the temple.

"I thought you were staying here until it closed?" you frown at Felix, who started gathering his stuff. You both had planned on cramming everything in for a test the next day, but plans didn't go as planned when Felix was eager to go back to the dormitories to sleep until the morning.

"My eyes are going to fall out of their sockets if I don't go and sleep, Y/N," he pats your head as if he were talking to a young child, "You can stay if you want. I know how much you hate studying in the common room." He double-checks his area to ensure he hadn't forgotten any of his belongings before patting your head once more. He grins and turns towards the door of the library, leaving you sitting alone at the table.

"Felix ~" You called out quietly, only for him to wave with his back facing you. You sighed and slumped back in your chair, resting your arms on the handles. Libraries were so much better when you had company.

The words in the textbook were starting to turn into blobs of ink, and for a second, you were thinking about following in Felix's footsteps. After moments of consideration, you shook your head and sat up. You'll stay, even if it was against the will of your fatigue self that had been prompting you to leave. This was all your fault anyway. Procrastination was a cruel thing.

Hunching forward, you let your eyes trace over the words, trying to process the information. You rewrote the info you wished to remember carelessly. Your notes resembled chicken scratch, but at this point, you didn't care because it was simply supplementary to your studying. The sun was close to its horizon, and the library was close to empty. It was somewhat more motivating.

Slowly the information had started to get more interesting. It was easier to run through the key terms and ideas listed in the textbook, and you could feel the exhaustion simply leaving your body. I'll finish this one last chapter and then save the rest for lunch tomorrow.

Your focus on the book had hindered your peripheral vision that the presence of another wizard floating over your shoulder went unnoticed. It was only until they had sat down next to you when you finally noticed.

You jumped in your seat, eyes growing wide. You had luckily suppressed your scream with your hand, which you had, out of defense, swung forward, slapping the person in the chest.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You don't sneak up on people like that, Minho," you rolled your eyes at the Slytherin, shifting away from him before turning your attention back towards the textbook. He scooches closer with intentions of irritating you, pushing his face towards your book, "What are you doing?"

You push him away and stick one of the thicker books between you both, "What does it look like?"

"Studying?"

"You're smarter than I thought, Lee Minho," sarcasm dripped from your voice as you glared at him. Attempting to continue with the final chapter, you miserably fail when Minho interrupts your concentration by tapping his fingers loudly against the wooden table.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" you say numbly, voice muffled by your robe, "I was literally just sitting here and you decide to do this."

Minho shrugs and uses his arms as a makeshift pillow, "I was bored, saw you, here I am, I'm here to stay."

Your eyebrows furrowed at the fact that Minho decided to 'spend time with you upon seeing you. You had no idea whether to feel flattered or irritated, but you knew you were confused. He could've just gone back to the Slytherin dungeons to sit with his housemates, but he saw you and decided to sit with you.

Staring blankly at the bookshelves across from you, you huffed out the corner of your mouth, blowing a stray strand of hair by your cheek. You did say you wanted company. You just weren't sure if it was Minho's company that you wanted. Glancing down briefly at him, and looked back up to the bookshelves.

"Fine," you say after pondering about the idea.

Minho's ears perked up, raising his brows, "Fine?"

"Just don't be loud."

Minho's head tilts in confusion, though he still complies, sitting next to you patiently. You continued to read through the final chapter, which you had underestimated in length. The chapter was a good half a centimetre in thickness. Though it didn't seem as much at first glance, the pages were practically dipped in ink, words covering it from one corner to the other.

You could feel your eyes grow heavy as you delve deeper into the chapter. Your bed was calling for you, but there was no way you were going to give. Not until this chapter was finished.

The library had been silent except for the occasional click of the pen from the librarian's desk. You had been mentally counting down the number of pages left to skim over, eager to feel that feeling of satisfaction you usually get once you finish a task. It was the same feeling as crossing or checking off a chore on a to-do list.

Minho had settled his eyes on the centre of your book, keeping them steady even as you flipped the pages. He felt the lids of eyes gradually get heavier as each page went by, and by the time you shut the book in delight, he had fallen asleep.

"Again?" You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering the last time he had fallen asleep in your presence. You darted your eyes away from his dormant figure, not making that same mistake twice, "Minho, wake up."

He stirs right away, head rising from his arms. This time he says nothing, pushing himself off of the library's chair before stumbling over his own feet as he makes his way to your side. He looked like a toddler, and it was admittedly adorable.

"Why didn't you just go straight to the dorms if you were tired," you snorted at his dumbassery. Some students still littered the halls even if curfew was nearing. Instead of parting from your side at the library's entrance, Minho stuck by your side.

"I wanted to spend time with you outside of class," he grumbles. He blinks at the long corridor in front of you two, eyes barely staying open from exhaustion.

Feeling your heart skip a beat, you tried to pick out if he was joking or not, but his tone screamed, 'I'm tired.' Any other emotion was hard to comb out, so you sighed and shook your head, pressing your lips into a smile, "Sleep that cheesiness off, Lee Minho."

Minho continued to walk next to you, silent and confused about what you just had said. It wasn't like he was drunk. He was well aware of what he just said. Nonetheless, he subtly walked you to the kitchen corridor, parting ways with you with an uttered 'goodbye.'

vi.

Sitting against the stone wall, you watched the rest of the class carry out the dance routine, formation changes and all. You ran through it with them, only mentally as your partner was nowhere to be found, and the class was halfway done.

There were barely any classes left before the final graded run through, and Minho really thought it'd be funny to skip? You would have let it pass if you guys weren't the worst duo in the room, but you guys are the worst duo in the room, which made the situation different.

"Professor Na," You asked quietly, "Has Lee Minho been excused from today's class. Is he ill?" You didn't want to jump to conclusions, keeping in mind that people did have their own reasons. Maybe he had caught a cold or was doing a missed exam that was far more important than dancing.

"No word from Minho, Y/N," the professor hummed back.

You frowned and thanked him, turning back to the main dance floor, students moving in sync. Where was he?

Just as you had finished your train of thought, the door had swung open just like it probably did on the first day of class. Minho stumbled in, hair a mess and a rather sheepish smile stamped on his lips.

"I apologize Professors," he bowed deeply, following the perimeter of the room. He bowed again as he reached the two instructors at the front of the room.

Professor Shin stopped her counting, "No need to apologize to us, apologize to your partner." She gestured towards you, already looking back. Minho nodded and approached you, though when he did reach you, he didn't apologize.

"And?"

"And what?" Minho ridiculed.

"Aren't you going to apologize like what the Professor asked?" You tried not to laugh at how Minho had been acting.

Minho let out a cackle, “No? Why should I? Can you stand up so we can start dancing or something?" His hand was itching to reach out for yours, feeling like he should pull you towards him, but he hindered himself from doing so, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Instead of pushing the apology out of him, you decided against it, not wanting to waste any of your time, "Why are you even late?"

The two of you followed the crowd, joining in at the perfect time. Minho smirked, "Worried about me or something? I know I'm in your head twenty-four seven, but I didn't expect you to be so obvious about it."

Tightening your grip around his hand, you gritted your teeth, "I wasn't worried about you, nitwit."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because you made me sit, doing nothing for nearly forty-five minutes?" You reply as if you were pointing out the obvious, "So why are you late and coming to class looking like a mountain troll?"

"Wow, ouch," he sighed, "I slept in. Am I going to hell for doing so? Because I can recall you did the same the first day and got us into this mess."

"This is about you, not me," you applied pressure onto his hands, causing him to stumble back slightly, ruining the rhythm he had built up. He furrowed his brows at you and did the same, only you were somehow ready for it.

"Oh please," Minho rolls his eyes, "You've done the same so you shouldn't even be mad at me."

"I'm only frustrated, not mad, there's a difference," you point out, "And I'm frustrated because we have that graded dance next week. If we fail, it's going to be your fault."

"It takes two to tango," he quoted, "And you already know where I stand on that. I don't ca-"

"Shut up, the professors are looking," you warned, flashbacks to the three weeks you had to polish the floors.

Minho laughed slightly, letting air blow out of his nose. He let his eyes drift down at you, keeping them there for a little too long.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, spinning you along with the other students, "You just looked way too terrified." The next move had the two of you closer than the initial space between you.

"I don't want to be spending an extra three hours with you after classes polishing the floor," you retort sharply. Instead of holding eye contact with him, you stared at the Slytherin crest on his uniform.

"I know you liked spending time with me, don't lie," he rolled his eyes teasingly.

"I'm not lying."

"You staring at me says otherwise."

"Oh hush about that already, I literally told you that I wasn't staring at you," Inwardly cringing, you felt relief once the music had stopped. You stepped back and eyed down the boy in front of you, "Why do keep bringing that up?"

Before Minho could give reasoning, Professor Na had spoken up from across the room, reminding everyone that the next class was the graded class. Though they wouldn't be strict with grading, he still wanted to see the students' effort 'flowing'. After a chorus of groans, class ended, allowing you to avoid Minho and find your way to Felix.

Someone tapping your shoulder had woken you up, head jolting up as if you were frightened.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Chaeryeong gasped sheepishly. She was hovering over you slightly, eyes wide. She was changed into her nightwear.

You sat up, only now realizing you had fallen asleep in the common room, "It's alright. What time is it?" You didn't even remember how you fell asleep, but you sure did have a good sleep.

"It's almost midnight," she replied, "I needed to grab water from the kitchen, then I saw you here and figured it'd be more comfortable for you to go to sleep in your own bed rather than this tiny couch."

You grinned, "Thanks Chae… I'll probably get something from the kitchen as well."

She nods and mumbles out a quick goodnight before disappearing to the girls' dorms. You return her farewell before standing up, eyes drawn to the wrinkles your nap had made on your robe. Attempting to straighten the robe and yourself out, you stumbled towards the Hufflepuff house entrance, exiting promptly.

The fireplace had been lit, a few house elves roaming about and carrying out their own duties. They paid no mind to you, as midnight snacks weren't out of the ordinary for Hufflepuffs.

You asked for what you needed, then was given it with no delay, "Thank you." The house elf nods before turning away with a grunt.

You sit at one of the tables, zoning out as you stared at the blazing fire across from you. School was getting a bit more stressful than it usually has, which was probably the reason why you had fallen asleep without knowing. You remember coming back from a long library visit. Maybe you collapsed on the couch once you did.

You made mental notes on the work still yet to be done before the following week, spontaneously creating a headache. Standing up, you figured it was best for you to go back to sleep. Slipping the dish into the sink, you started making your way back to the dorms.

You rubbed your temples and shook your head as you closed your eyes. It probably hadn't been a good idea to be wandering with your eyes closed as you had immediately bumped into something firm.

"Y/N?"

Looking up, you came face to face with Lee Minho, who was just as shocked as you were. He had been dressed down in a knitted Slytherin sweater and pyjama pants.

"Minho? What in the world?"

He backs up after noticing how close you were to each other, "Could say the same 'bout you."

"My dorms are right there," you point just down the corridor, "While yours is in the dungeon…"

Minho blinks before he tries to move around you, eyes avoiding yours.

"What are you doing here?" you grab his wrist, eager to find out why he was roaming the halls. It wasn't unusual for students to be breaking the rules, especially Minho, who loved living up to the stereotypes of a Slytherin. He smirks at the skinship, which prompts you to let go of him, heat rising up to your cheeks without warning. You're suddenly glad it's dim around the two of you.

"I was… taking a walk," he successfully pushes past you and into the kitchen, a glass of water already there for him. He thanks the house elf, leaving the glass, before turning back to you. By the looks of it, it seems like he's been doing this before, like a routine.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, "Taking a walk? You're painfully awful at lying." And the pause in his speaking gave that away. You followed behind him, expecting an honest answer as if you deserved to know.

"Weren't you just leaving?"

"But my question is unanswered," you shrugged.

"I answered you, I was taking a walk," he pushed the answer. Putting the cup down, he turned to you, "I have… sleeping problems."

"You just lied again," you nonchalantly, "Just tell me the truth. No judgment. A Hufflepuff's promise." You weren't usually one to push an answer out of someone, but this situation was different.

"You say no judgment but I already know how you're going to react to the truth," he takes another sip of water.

"So you were lying!" You raised your brows, "I knew it!"

"You don't deserve the truth," he sighs. Finishing the cup of water, he starts to make his way out, not even turning to look back.

"Lee Minho!" You groaned. Maybe it was your fatigue self or the fact this felt like some sort of game, but you weren't holding yourself back, "When I said I wouldn't judge, I won't. My mind's open to whatever you're going to say."

Minho spins around to face you, stumbling backward a few more steps before he halts, "I was practicing the dance steps."

No judgment.

The flat expression on Minho's face indicated that he had no intentions of lying this time. He had his hands hiding behind his back, eyeing you just to see if you would live up to your promise. Instead of his expected reaction, he finds you smiling, something he'd only see when you were around your friends.

"Wipe that smile off of your face, bumblebee," he mutters.

"Didn't you say you didn't care about that class?" you quoted, a smirk slowly replacing your smile, "Why are you practicing the steps?"

Minho licked his lips. He was at a loss of words, nothing but the truth occupying his mind… Why the hell not?

"Because you care."

You blinked back at him, lips parting and meeting several times as you tried to find the right words to say. The silence was deafening. "What?"

"Because you care," Minho repeated. He kept his expression still, eyeing you, trying to figure out how you were taking this in.

How would he further explain it? He didn't know. All he knew was that ever since that specific moment between the both of you the other day, he took it upon himself to better his partner dancing. He didn't want anyone else knowing, not you, and especially not his housemates, which was why he chose to stay up late to do this; it was the real reason why he had shown up late to class.

You weren't sure if it was because it was quiet, but you could easily hear your heartbeat as it quickened. You try to cover up the fact that you wanted to freak out, "I don't know whether I should laugh or–"

"Yeah, whatever, shouldn't have told you in the first place," he mumbles. For some reason, he felt his heart lub-dub in a way that it shouldn't. He frowned and sighed, "Just forget it."

"Wait, Minho," you call quietly. He stopped in his tracks and turned, partially facing the wall and facing you. He stared back at you with a vacant look, waiting for you to say something. If you weren't going to be saying something nice, he didn't want to hear it after exposing himself like that.

"'Because you care?'" you frowned, "You can't just say that and leave." You already made up a possible answer to the countless questions through your mind, but it was still unclear whether or not that was it.

"What else do you want me to say?" Minho stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"I just want you to explain it," you reply quietly.

Minho glanced out the window sitting by you both before sitting down on its pane, "Remember that other day… when I told you I didn't care?" You nod and move closer to where he sat, unsure whether or not you should sit next to him or not, "I don't know… you were really serious back then… I guess I wasn't used to that. So I figured…"

There was a quick moment of silence before he huffs, almost sounding defeated.

"Did you know that I genuinely don't dislike you as much as you think I do?" He says out of the blue, throwing you off. You wanted to tell him to sleep it off again—why did moments like this always happen at night?

"I don't either," you say back, "At first I did… but I matured."

"I only ever argued with you out of amusement. You're the only person outside of Slytherin that could out-talk me and it bothered me for some reason," he laughed as if he recalled a memory.

"Me intimidating a Slytherin? Just wait til the others hear about this," you joke. He glanced towards your direction and saw a clever glint in your eye.

"Don't you dare," he holds back a smile before standing up to face you directly, "Or…"

"Or what?" You challenged, "Imagine how Seungmin would react! Donghyuck and Renjun? What about Yeosang and Wooyoung?" You start listing the other well-known Slytherins off of the top of your head, holding back a laugh as you watch Minho's face crumble into an expression that looks far too close to fear.

Minho recollects himself and shakes some sense into himself, "Or I'll make you go to the Yule Ball with me." He hadn't planned on asking you today, but the timing was perfect. It fit with the situation. If you were to react unfavourably, then he could just joke about it.

His question shut you up. Your eyes widened at him as you processed what he had used as a threat, "What if I want to go to the Yule Ball with you?"

Minho takes a step towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips. His confidence was skyrocketing, and you can tell, "Then I guess it's a date?"

Rolling your eyes, you let a smile grace softly onto your lips, nodding, "It's a date."

Bonus:

"I told you to wear something with gold," you whined jokingly as you were greeted with Minho, who had completely dodged your request. Instead of the black and gold look you were going for, he decided to wear a black suit that had traces of emerald. As much you wanted to match with your date, you had to admit that he still looked as handsome as ever in the attire. He looked like a prince.

"And look like a Hufflepuff? No thanks," he scoffed teasingly. He pulls out a corsage, one that matches the clothes he wore, tying it gently around your wrist, "You look very beautiful."

"Well, you look very handsome."

Minho laughed as he sticks out his forearm, a brow raised in your direction. Music being played by the live band had been spilling out of the ballroom; the voices of everyone attending gave the ball more life. It was exciting.

"Minho!" Seungmin had called. Felix, who had slipped from your side the moment Minho approached you, was standing by Seungmin, smiling brightly. He had been hyping you up the entire night, telling you that there should be nothing to worry about.

He was right.

"Shall we?" Minho asked. It was cheesy, but it worked.

"We shall."

Hope you enjoyed it! A like would be appreciated <3

215 notes · View notes

ofpineapplesanddawns · 2 years

Note

White bread husbands first driving lesson drabble perhaps? Or is it too soon?

Not too soon at all!

Also, if this ship ends up being called white bread husbands, oh no... hahaha.

On with the fic!

Wesley was going to be perfectly normal about this, absolutely normal. Because that's what he was, right? Normal, boring, he wasn't going to make a total arse out of himself about a simple driver's lesson to get back into the habit of driving about.

Why was he even doing this? He didn't even own a car since he got back to the UK! He had a perfectly capable bicycle that served him well to get from point A to point B!

"Good morning, are you ready?" Asked Chris as he approached Wesley.

Oh, right.

This was why.

He hadn't gotten Chris out of his mind since that day he first came to this place for work reasons, and here he was, about to start his renewal lessons with the man who had been on his brain over a week now. Chris smiled at him and gestured for Wesley to follow him to his car.

This was going to be a long hour.

"Now, when is the last time you've driven?" Chris asked as he got himself strapped in, sitting in the passenger seat as Wesley got into the driver seat.

"Oooh..." Wesley let out a breath, trying to think. "I can't quite remember. I was in New York for a few years, and driving isn't really a thing you need to do when there are so many other ways to get about. Often you just pay someone, but still. I figured it wouldn't hurt to brush up on my driving skills and see if I can still do it."

"Well, let's start with the basics then." Chris nodded, sitting back, placing his hands on his lap. "Do you remember what to do?"

Wesley seemed puzzled, then grabbed for the seatbelt. Alright, that's the first thing, then from there Chris watched him do the basic, proper procedures of getting comfortable in the car before pulling out.

He did have to point out to make sure that it was clear behind them before he could pull out of the parking lot, but Wesley seemed to know what he was doing.

"Did you drive at all, in America?" Chris asked as they pulled off onto the road. "They do drive differently over there."

"No, but I've seen how it's done. Terribly."

This made Chris laugh a little, and he saw that Wesley smiled just a little out of the corner, his posture a wee bit more relaxed. "Well, that tends to usually be how it goes. Alright, stop here, then take a left when the roads are clear."

It was a rather smooth drive, with some small talk. Wesley seemed nice enough, though he said such bizarre phrases, a bit old fashion. Not that Chris could talk, apparently he seemed rather... vanilla, when it came to small talk with clients. They always had a million and one things to say, and he often just listened.

He felt like he was more of a listening ear than a driving instructor half the time. But that wasn't a bad thing, he liked his clients, he liked being someone they could trust, it helped to build a good rapport with them so they had an easier time with learning to drive.

With Wesley, he seemed to prattle on about whatever came to mind, and seemed to keep looking at Chris, as if waiting for him to say something that counteracted what he said, as if waiting for disapproval, the opposite opinion.

Chris didn't know what to make of that, but he figured there was something that Wesley was waiting for that might sour this all. Well, we can't have that now, can we?

It wasn't, however, something in the conversation that did that though, it was more of an attempt to parallel park that resulted in...

"I think we're on the sidewalk." Wesley said, dropping his head on the steering wheel.

Chris figured as much from the sudden tilt of the car, and from the bumpy way it occurred. He glanced out the window. "An honest mistake. Trust me, this is neither the first, nor the last time this has and will happen."

Honestly, this was better than what happened with his client yesterday, poor Jill drove right over someone's garden. Neither could figure out how on Earth that happened.

Wesley sighed, knocking his head against the wheel again. "I got distracted."

"It happens, but that's what these lessons are for, so you can improve." Chris said, putting a hand on the man's shoulder.

Hazel eyes glanced at him, then quickly looked away as the man sat up. "Right, uh, shall we keep going? Or are the lessons done for today?"

"Let's get back to the center, then we can set up for your next appointment."

The drive back was a bit smoother, minus missing a yield sign, but many did that, especially during early lessons, before they finally returned.

"I have another opening at this time on Thursday, if you're able to do that." Chris said once they got out of his car.

"I'm sure I can make it, I'll, uh, I'll call if I can't." Wesley replied, then frowned. "I don't think I gave you my number."

"No, you didn't, though I'm sure Fiona has it on record."

"No, no, I've got this." Wesley patted himself down, looking for something, before digging out his wallet from a pocket. He pulled out a card from the wallet, holding it out.

Chris took the card from the shorter man, it was a business card, with a mobile number on it and an office one as well. "Thank you." Chris nodded, slipping it into his shirt pocket.

"Right, great, thanks, for uh, the lesson." Wesley nodded, turning, walking off. "Thursday then? Great, goodbye."

"Goodbye." Chris waved at him, confused. Huh, a nervous fellow, wasn't he?

I haven't done driving since I was in high school! I never drove on the sidewalk, but I did do a three-point turn into a bush though during my final exam. Still got my permit anyway.

#john's drabbles #good omens extended universe #wesley x chris

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sirnnsongs · 3 years

Photo

( anya taylor joy, twenty-three, she/her ) spotted ! lorelei gunther, on the steps of the met. who’d have seen that coming? what with being a music phd student and all, i’m surprised they’ve found the time. they’ve always been quite disconnected and impulsive, so i’m sure trouble will follow in their wake. then again, i’ve been told they can be perceptive and original. either way, i’ll be watching. - xoxo, gossip girl. ( alys, 23, est, she/her )

what’s up??? i’m alys (or ally if you prefer!) and it’s been a hot minute since i’ve done a tumblr rp. been dying for a good gg-style rp and then i found this yesterday and went .... well no time like the present ! so i decided to resurrect a muse i haven’t played in a while; this is lorelei aka lorrie, spoiled rich kid, quiet weirdo, big lily from pitch perfect energy. grew up on the upper east side, left for vienna, and is back doing her doctorate in music composition bc she has no clue what she wants to do with her life. like this for a plotting message !!

statistics.

full name. lorelei amelia “lorrie” gunther. age. twenty-three. date of birth. february 24, 1998. place of birth. new york, ny. gender & pronouns. cis woman & she/her. orientation. bisexual/queer. occupation. phd candidate at columbia university. education. bachelor of composition and music theory from the university of music and performing arts vienna.

height. five foot eight. build. willowy. hair. naturally blonde, typically dyed grey-blue. eye color. brown. distinguishing features. unexpressive features, wide eyes,

zodiac. pisces sun, aquarius moon & rising. mbti. intp, the logistician. enneagram. type five, the investigator. alignment. chaotic neutral.

father. frederick gunther : b. 1959, film composer (think hans zimmer). mother. caroline claymoore : b. 1962, art curator. sibling(s). phillip gunther : b. 1994, cellist & music instructor. other relatives. her oma, franziska gunther, music teacher & composer. 1934-2016. her opa, stefan gunther, music theory professor. 1932-1985.

past. (tw: death)

quick gunther family history: franziska and stefan immigrated to the u.s. from austria in 1955 so stefan could take a job at julliard as a professor. they’ve been in the upper east side since the 1960s. frederick is the first-born son, married connecticut-born caroline in 1994, while she was pregnant with phillip. they divorced in 1997, while caroline was pregnant with lorelei.

when lorrie was three, her mom moved to paris. when she was four, her dad moved to los angeles. so, he decided to leave the kids with his mother, lorrie’s oma, franziska.

whereas her brother was kept busy by extra tutoring and music lessons, at his father’s strict request, lorrie was raised largely by her oma, who, at this point, was an eccentric upper east sider. think adelaide bonfamille from the aristocats.

a lonely, socially awkward kid, considered a musical prodigy just like her brother and her father. i’m keeping most of her childhood and adolescence pretty open and loose for plotting purposes but she was definitely quieter and weirder, not particularly social. also def went through a phase in high school where she like cut all her hair off and went really alt bc that’s the vibe.

her brother attended juilliard, like their father intended. lorrie intended to, too, but then in the spring before graduation, her oma died. not unexpectedly, but suddenly.

basically, lorrie had a minor meltdown, took a gap year, and ran off to vienna, which was where her grandmother was from, and a place she always recalled fondly.

and now that her brother has left juilliard and is currently teaching music at a private school in massachusetts, she’s returned to do a doctorate in music composition at columbia. she’s missed new york dearly.

present.

*insert jughead weirdo speech here*

back in high school went through the quiet girl to alt girl pipeline. one day she’s wearing burberry and shiny loafers, the next she’s chopped all her hair off and dressed like she just inherited a hot topic franchise.

basically big “i’ve been clinically depressed since i was nine years old” energy.

kind of directionless in life. yk the vibe of like she didn’t expect to make it this far.

pretty quiet just by nature, kind of lives inside her own head. finds herself falling back into high school patterns now that she’s returned.

has never learned how to process her own emotions. she’s an aquarius moon raised by a gemini, so.

had a problem where she did reckless shit to feel alive. started with going to vienna, and then this pattern continued to get worse in europe. now that she’s back, though, she’s trying to... stay here and not just run away when things start to suck.

after this is just fun facts:

stoner on the dl. and by dl i mean everyone knows it but she has the decency to smoke in private. she's done other drugs, too, but she's... trying to cut back.

that lactose intolerant bitch who pretends she’s not that lactose intolerant but. she seriously is.

can speak six different languages, play nearly twenty different instruments, but can't cook, drive, budget, or live any kind of healthy lifestyle.

wanted connections.

childhood best friend. that she... ghosted when she went to vienna. whoops. probably some beef there.

partner in crime. probably underestimated her propensity for chaos at one point, but not anymore.

high school bully. def a bullying victim at some point. things between them are weird now.

idk man she’s got a lot of flexibility and i’d love a lot of different connections for her. professional relationships (like a mentor or mentee thing?), flings/one night stands, new friends, almost-dated, former students of her oma's, etc.

#gossipintro #death tw #depression mention tw #but like barely #drug mention tw #if this doesn't format correctly i will-

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kuratoki · 4 years

Text

Changes 06

Ooof finally! All the major characters have been introduced! Now we can get to the real fun :3

Do you agree that things change in time? Well four years abroad would tell wouldn’t it?

Pairing: Reader x Jeno ft. NCT

Words: 4163

Warning: Mild swearing

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Jeno leaned against his locker as he let out a big yawn while he waited for Jaemin. One of the instructors caught him before he left class and asked if he could talk to him so Jaemin had gone to fine Hana.

Turns out someone was under performing in class and he wanted Jeno to help that person catch up through private lessons once a week. He was surprised to say the least when he found out who it was and wondered if it was some set up since this person was supposed to be one of the top students. On top of that, he was reminded that today was the final day to choose partners for the semester project or else one would be chosen for you at the time.

He was knocked out of his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name and turned around to see you literally running towards him. It had been a few weeks since he joined you and Jisung for the early morning practice and saw first hand how you and Jisung worked as a unit, realizing Hana wasn’t bluffing when she said that you and Jisung had a lot of chemistry. He wasn’t sure if Jisung was intentionally or unintentionally flirting with you as you went over certain sections of the dance but the way you blushed at a few of his comments made him wary of his friends true intentions towards you.

Did he like it? Not really. Though Jisung was one of his best friends, there was a certain level of affection that Jisung only reserved for you and you only. Could Jeno do anything about it? Not yet. Not until he knew your feelings for sure. Not until he figured what he wanted out.

“What’s up?” he asked as you approached him, clearly out of breath. He held back his chuckle when you reached around him to grab his water bottle from his bag to chug down it’s contents before putting it back nicely.

“Please tell me you don’t have a partner yet for third period.” you said after taking a big breath, ”I totally forgot, Hana and Jisung betrayed me last night and partnered up behind my back.”

Jeno raised his eyebrows, so Jisung had actually done it. When the two of them talked about the project, Jisung expressed that he wanted to partner up with you since you practiced together often anyways. Jeno had told him that Yeeun wanted to partner with him but he had considered asking you as well since he and Hana had partnered the previous year. Jisung said he’d think about it and Jeno guessed this was his answer. Little did he know, Jisung had no intention of partnering with you and only waited for the last minute to tell you.

“I don’t have a partner yet. I was gonna ask you at lunch today so I guess it’s perfect timing.” Jeno said, moving a piece of your hair behind your hair as if he’d done it all the time.

This was his first time.

“Where’s Jisung?” he asked, clearing his throat as you both blushed from his action.

“Uhh...He went to nap in one of the practice rooms since it’s a study period. I’m actually rushing to the library right now. Jaehyun said that I can nap instead of work books if I beat him there.” you explained, “And thank youuuuuu. Hyuk asked me earlier and I said I already asked you.”

“So you were planning on asking me already?” Jeno asked with a smirk and you rolled your eyes, “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“Cause told everyone that she’s partnering up with you for the project.” you shot, looking down at your watch and frowned “That’s why I checked first. But I have to go. Jisung and I gamed all night and I really need this nap. I’ll see you later.”

And just as fast as you came, you were gone. Jeno grinned to himself and told himself that he’d have to buy Jisung lunch sometime.

“Where’s Y/N going in such a rush?” Jaemin asked, appearing by Jeno’s side.

“Library. She said something about meeting with Jaehyun.” Jeno said as the two started towards the library where their class was supposed to meet, “I would’ve said to wait but she was running.”

“So she did take my advice.” Jaemin said smiling, “She said that she was having issues settling back so I told her to talk to Jaehyun since he spent four years in America.” he explained when he saw the confused look on Jenos face.

“She’s having issues settling back?” Jeno asked, scrunching his nose while pushing up the bridge of his glasses, “How did you know?”

“I asked.” Jaemin said, turning to look at Jeno with a straight face, “She seemed uncomfortable about something I did what any friend would, I checked in. I am technically her guide afterall.”

“Though like half the NCT members adopted her as their own.” Jeno said thinking about how easy his friends from the club integrated themselves around you so easily.

Jaehyun was your teaching assistant for Music Theory while Yuta treated you like the little sister he wished he had. The other members would greet you from time to time and often joined you and whoever was practicing in the morning. They liked the dedication and drive you brought when you were focussed, it was something they admired.

“Doyoung brought Y/N a chocolate bar last week. He hasn’t treated us out since nationals last year." he added.

“I mean, your body also doesn’t tell you that you aren’t pregnant once a month with severe pain so I mean…” Jaemin said looking to the side with a shrug, “Are you happy though? She’s back, things are okay?”

“I guess? She’s...different. Physically and mentally. There are things about her that haven’t changed.” Jeno started, ‘Like her ability to always see the good in things instead of the negative.’ he thought to himself.

“But there’s this whole side of her that I’ve seen when she’s with Jisung and Hana which is like woah...who are you. You aren’t the same girl I knew all those years ago.” he said with a sigh, “Like back then, it was the three of us and we were the only friends she had.”

“You aren’t the same Jeno either. You both spent most of your lives together and spent your transition from teenagers to young adults apart. She left and had to adapt to a different place, language and system while we were here. There are going to be things you don’t know about each other but isn’t that the best part?” Jaemin asked, “And from what Hana’s said, Y/N’s in the same boat except she’s trying to adapt back to life home too. Get to know her again and if it’s meant to be, you’ll know.”

“When did you get so philosophical?” Jeno asked with a pointed eyebrow and Jaemin shrugged, holding up the hand that had a ring on his middle finger.

“When I got a girlfriend and decided that I was going to use my club ring as a promise ring.” he answered and eyed the same ring on Jenos middle finger, “What about you? You know what they say, the person you give your club ring to is the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life.”

“And how sweet of you to know that Hana is already the one for you.” Jeno fake gagged, “I don’t believe in that stuff. If I give my ring to anyone, it’ll be on my terms and reasons.”

“Hey, we both know that if Y/N didn’t leave and everything went according to your little plan, you’d be thinking the same thing.” Jaemin stated with a pointed look, “And don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

“You aren’t. Cause you’re right.” Jeno admitted as they entered the library, Jaemin shoving his shoulder playfully.

“There’s two seats over there.” Jaemin pointed to a table where Yeeun and her friend were waving them over, “Jeno?”

Jaemin looked over at his friend who seemed to be focused intently on something else in the room and by following his gaze, his eyes landed on you and Yukhei sitting at a table towards the back and from the look on your face, having an intense conversation.

The two of you seemed to notice their presence since you motioned towards the door and Yukhei paled the moment his eyes met Jeno’s. Quickly getting up, Yukhei seemed to say one more thing to you with a slight glare which you only challenged with your own before he left and went back to his own table.

“What was that about?” Jaemin asked when you looked up at them and waved with a tired smile.

“Apparently Jeno’s been giving him a hard time and wanted me to tell him to lay off.” you said with a shrug unsure what he meant, “So I guess lay off?”

“He’s late two out of three times a week for practice and he didn’t even show up yesterday.” Jeno said rolling his eyes, “If he wants me to lay off then he should actually start showing that he wants to be part of the team. Taeyongs even on the fence about letting him participate at next weeks performance.”

“What else did he say?” Jaemin asked after boys sat down, you in between the two, “You both looked annoyed with each other.”

“Cause we were.” you scoffed and looked at Jeno, “He told me that you have no right to be mad at him when you don’t even know the full story. I told him he was lucky I didn’t tell you since I feared for his safety.”

“There’s a full story?” Jaemin and Jeno asked looking at each other then back at you curiously.

“One that you guys will never know.” you said with a nod before going back to the workbook that Jaehyun had given you. Unfortunately, someone tripped you in the hallways and Jaehyun beat you to the library, “What are you guys doing here anyways?”

“Research project.” Jeno answered, still wondering about the full story. The full story to what?, “I assume Jae beat you?”

“Someone tripped me in the hallway and I hit my knee against a wall so I ended up limping here.’ you said with a sad sigh, your lips in a small pout, “I was looking forward to my nap.”

“This is why you don’t stay up playing video games on a school night.” Jaemin nagged, “I’ve told you this.”

“And will she ever listen? Probably not.” Jeno concluded ruffling your hair, making you grumble and attempted to swat his hands away, unaware of the eyes watching your table.

A few minutes later, Jisung walked through the library doors and sat down across from you, taking the sweater you had on the table to use as a pillow.

“I assume Jae found you?” you asked as Jaemin poked Jisung, who laid motionless, with a pen, “Are you even alive?”

“Did you see me in first period? I’m pretty sure our instructor thought I was drunk.” Jisung mumbled, “Jae found me and then told me to come here. How can I say no to our lovely T.A?”

“You don’t.” you stated with a straight face before you heard Jisung’s soft snoring. With three packs of colored sticky notes and workbook forgotten, you, Jeno and Jaemin proceeded to play a game of how many sticky notes can you stick on Jisung before he woke up.

A few minutes later, Hana walked through the doors squealing as she made a beeline towards you.

“Y/N, Y/N! You won’t believe who I just saw in the hallways.” she said sitting on Jaemins lap, “And who the heck is that?” she asked, pointing at the person covered in sticky notes.

The game ended in a three way tie since Jisung didn’t wake up and now there was a timer to see how long it took for him to wake up and cause chaos.

“Hana, this is a library. Shut up.” Jisung said muffled from his faced down position, “What the heck is going on here?” he asked when he realized that he was covered in paper and shot a glare towards you, Jeno and Jaemin who all had innocent looks on your faces.

“What the fuck guys!” he whined when he realized what happened and you, Jeno, Jaemin along with Hana burst into a fit of giggles.

“Fifteen minutes and twenty three seconds. Not bad.” you said hitting the stop button on your phone, “This is what you get for passing out.”

“And why you don’t play video games on a school night.” Hana nagged and you burst out in laughter since Jaemin had pretty much said the same thing to you earlier.

“Like boyfriend, like girlfriend I guess.” Jeno said with a nudge as Jisung continued to glare at the group in front of him..

“Anyways, who did you see Hana?” you asked just as the door opened again and Jaehyun along with three others walked in and everyone turned to look.

“No way.” you whispered before you got up quickly followed by Hana leaving the three boys in confusion.

One of the guys saw you and grinned as he made his way towards you followed by the others.

“I didn’t know the school took in aliens and dolphins.” you said once you were face to face.

Shocked gasps were heard from the tables paying attention, including Jaehyun and Yeeun.

“Y/N!” Jaehyun said shocked but the person looked at Jaehyun with a smile, letting him know it was okay.

“Considering they accept ugly ducklings, I would assume they’d make an acception.” he shot back with a smirk.

“Can you two not do this now..” One of the other guys said massaging his temples.

“It confuses people.” the last one said.

“At least I didn’t leave before the program was over to join some stupid ballet.” you shot back.

“You would’ve had the same opportunity had you not fucked up your knee.” he said with a grin as you glared.

“Y/N…” Jaehyun warned again but the last person that spoke held his arm, telling his friend not to worry.

“At least I completed the program.” you stated and winced when you felt a flick to your forehead.

“That was lame. Where are those strong comebacks of yours?” the person reprimanded..

“I didn’t sleep last night so they’re currently back in Europe.” you said with a sigh before smiling again and you along with Hana enveloped the two boys in a group hug and you relished in that feeling of familiarity.

“Were you playing video games again?” one of them asked causing Hana to burst into giggles and you let out another sigh.

Around the room, people questioned so many things. A lot of them knew who two of them were, one was a student of the school while the other was someone who was well known to those who were in the ballet community.

Jaemin and Jeno looked at Jisung for answers while the boy; still covered in sticky notes, shrugged, not knowing who this mystery person was either. It was obvious that these were the people Hana was excited to see since the four of you were walking over, immersed in an amusing conversation.

Yeeun gaped as you moved past her, your arms linked with the newcomers, talking in what seemed to be Chinese.

‘How does she know them?” she heard her friend whisper to the table as their eyes followed the groups movement as they approached the table with the three boys.

“When did WinWin get back?” Jisung asked as he noticed the group walking towards them,” I thought he was supposed to return next semester.”

“Y/N said that he finished whatever needed to be done back home and was coming back early.” Jeno said with no hesitation, “I helped Y/N clean her house to prepare for his return.”

“Ah, so that’s what you were doing when you said you were too busy to work on our routine. Got it.” Jaemin said with a nod and knowing smile before looking up with a friendly smile, “Welcome back WinWin.”

“Hey guys.” WinWin said waving as the others greeted him, “It’s nice to see you all again.”

“Are you back back?” Jaemin asked and WinWin nodded.

“I brought back these two,” he motioned to the two others with him, “This is Huang Renjun-”

“The alien.” you coughed, making said boy pinch your side while WinWin rolled his eyes.

“And Zhong Chen Le.” WinWin said motioning to the other boy.

“Dolphin.” you coughed again, making the other boy hit your arm.

“I will end you.” he said with a glare.

“Try me piano boy.” you challenged as WinWin and Hana sighed.

“This is normal.” Hana said when she noticed the confused looks from everyone, “Y/N and Renjun went to the same academy in Europe. Chenle and I visited when WinWin and I were there and the five of us hung out and I’ve kept in touch with them since then. What were your nicknames? China Prince and Swan Princess?”

“More like ugly duckling and China Klutz.” Chenle snorted, making the people at the table laugh as two hands smacked him on the back of the head.

“Wait…” Jaemin said, making everyone look at him, “Someone with the alias China Prince was said to be one of the youngest dancers with the Chinese Ballet Association”

“That’s me.” Renjun said with a wave, “I auditioned and left Europe my third year before completing the program. Before that, Y/N and I were in all the same classes.”

“He was the partner that didn’t drop me.” you added looking at Renjun, “Then I refused to partner with anyone else after he left. I also introduced him to his current-”

“Dance partner.” Renjun interrupted making you give him a what the fuck look and he gave you that smile that said to shut the fuck up and he’d explain later.

“Right…” you said suspiciously glancing at your friend, “Dance partner…Also Ji, you’ve already talked to Chenle. He’s the one that we play games with almost every night.”

“You’re SirSqueak?” Jisung asked, looking at Chenle and the boy gave up the okay signal with his hands, “Dude, we totally needed you last night….” he started rambling to Chenle about last night's game while everyone else watched in amusement.

“So he is aware he’s covered sticky notes right?” Jaehyun asked Jeno and the boy nodded, “K, just checking.” he said before turning his attention to you and Renjun, “So the two of you went to the same ballet academy?”

“Yep.” you said as Renjun nodded once everyone else was seated,

“We had the same practice schedules and academic classes our first year so we became friends pretty fast.” Renjun said leaning on the table with his arms crossed, “Best study partner I had.”

“Only study partner I could tolerate.” you snorted, “Anyways, are you two transferring?” you asked once Chenle and Jisung finished talking about their games.

“We officially start tomorrow.” Chenle answered, “Are you guys free to catch up over lunch today?”

Words of agreement and nods flooded the table while Jaehyun shook his head.

“I’m kidnapping Y/N for lunch today.” he said as you nodded.

“Awe, come on Jae. You’ve literally spent every lunch with Y/N for the last week. Give us our friend back.” Jaemin whined as Jaehyun shook his head.

“Why don’t we have dinner once you guys are done with club activities today?” you suggested with an apologetic look, “I have something to do till about five but we could go after.”

“That sounds like a good idea actually.” WinWin said, “I checked the fridge, all I see are baked goods so I guess we’ll have to go grocery shopping tomorrow. We can invite some of the club members.”

“I’m in for dinner.” Renjun said as the rest agreed,

“I won’t be at club today.” Jaehyun said, “I have something to work on.”

“Me neither. One of our instructors asked me to help someone with the class routine today for a bit.” Jeno said and you turned to look at him.

Around the same time, Yeeun and her friends walked to the table with grins on their faces.

“Can we help you?” Hana asked, looking at the girls.

“R-Renjun, you played the Price in Swan Lake at the O2 theatre in London two years ago right?” her friend asked nervously as Renjun nodded with a charming smile that made her insides melt, “I wanted to know that I’m a huge fan. Congratulations on making it into the Chinese Ballet Association. It’s an honor to be a student with you. I hope that I’ll be able to learn from someone as talented as you one day. If you have any questions, I’d be happy to help you.”

“Uh...thank you.” Renjun said awkwardly, not used to the praise, “I actually transferred here so I could dance with a friend again so I’m unsure if I’ll be helping any classes out or anything. But I was already set up with a guide so I think things should be fine.”

You looked at Chenle from across the table as the two of you fought to hold in your giggles and you felt Renjun nudge you from the side which made it even harder to hold it in.

“Oh well...really if theres anything.” the girl said again as Renjun nodded and you put your head down, causing Jeno to wonder what was wrong with you but before he could ask, Yeeun asked him a question that stopped your laughter all together.

“Are you still okay with meeting after class today Jeno?” she asked as you gave him a side glance and his eyes met yours before he gave Yeeun a quick reply.

“Be in the practice room thirty minutes after classes and we’ll run through the routine.” he said with a curt nod when he noticed Renjun whispering something in your ear that made your eyes wide, “We’ll see how much help you’ll need from there.”

“We can always go straight from English.” Yeeun suggested looking for your reaction, though much to your dismay, you were currently distracted, talking to Renjun. “Oh by the way, do you have a partner for the project yet? The deadlines today.” she reminded.

“I have things I have to take care of before then.” he answered, his attention focused on you and not her. “And yea, I do.” he said looking to you in which you looked up from your conversation with Renjun to nod and he was thankful you were still paying attention to the conversation.

“Oh...I uh guess that’s great.” Yeeun said with a tight smile as the bell rang, “I’ll see you after school.” she said before leaving the library with a grin remembering that it’d be just the two of them in the dance studio.

“You and Yeeun?” Jaemin asked the question on everyones mind, especially yours though you did a good job at hiding it.

“She’s apparently failing third period and the instructor asked me to give her a few pointers. So yea, I won’t be going to club today unfortunately.” Jeno said with a sigh and touched your wrist to get your attention when he noticed you’d gone quiet, “Are you okay?” he asked, making you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Of course I am.” you said quickly and turned to Jaehyun, somehow, you felt uneasy at the mention of Yeeun spending time with Jeno after school. You knew you had no reason to since the two of you were even a thing but Yeeun reminded you of someone and you couldn’t shake off the feeling of uneasiness so you did what you did best. You ran.

“We should get going though. Can we take Renjun with us? I’d really like his feedback on what we’ve done so far.” you said, making Renjun and Jaehyun give you weird looks but nodded anyways.

“Great. Let’s go.” you said and grabbed Renjun’s hand where he interlocked your fingers through habit, catching the attention of three boys at the table, “See you guys after school."

Jaehyun was quick to follow, leaving everyone else in their wake confused.

Jeno looked at the spot where you disappeared from, the image of your fingers interlaced with Renjuns transfixed in his mind. The moment Yeeun mentioned meeting up with him after school, Renjun had pulled you into a conversation which he looked like he couldn’t wait to have with you. The confused look on your face and the excited look on his made Jeno wary. Renjun’s presence as a whole made him wary.

Just who was this guy and was he going to be a threat?

#nct imagine #nct #nct dream imagine #nct dream #lee jeno #jeno #jisung #jaemin #kpop #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #nct scenario #nct fiction #nct dream fiction #nct dream scenario #jeno imagine #jeno fiction #jeno scenario

33 notes · View notes

jacewilliams1 · 4 years

Text

Ferrying a 1946 Auster J2 through Australia

God was on my shoulder. The problem being I was not sure on which shoulder and who was on the other one!

The aircraft ferry game is both interesting and where one always expects the unexpected. My card reads “Can Ferry, Will Travel.” Flying an older aircraft cross country is more than just throwing your bag in the back and departing. To do the job properly means planning ahead.

Now for a long time I had always wanted to get to fly an Auster J2. I had seen the J2 pair of VH-PUK and VH-PUL around Victoria with various owners over the years but had never set foot in one. I had flown several Austers but for some reason I had a fancy to fly the two-seat J2. Maybe that was because I had flown a Taylor J-2 and a Piper J-3. Who knows?

Then I heard that VH-PUL was for sale in Queensland. I contacted the owner and said if the new owner needed an experienced tailwheel pilot to ferry the aircraft anywhere please pass my number to him. I had hopes that the new owner was located in Western Australia. I could wish!

Sorry, was the reply, but the aircraft has been sold and the owner has his own tailwheel-endorsed pilot to assist him. Oh! I know what crestfallen means.

Time passed. Somehow I made the contact with the new owner and told him that I was an instructor, had good tailwheel time, and had flown Austers amongst other older aircraft.

OK, thanks, was the reply.

Time passed. I got a call from the new owner, Rod. Would I be interested in ferrying VH-PUL from Moree to its new home near Bendigo?

Hmm, YES, was the reply.

The die was set. I made my way to Sydney in a 737 and then to Moree in a QF Dash -8.

Now somewhere in the first ferry south from Gympie, Qld., PUL had an issue on landing at some strip north of Moree and the left gear leg got bent.

Time to get acquainted.

Campbell Briggs of Statewide Aviation, an ag operator, took kindly to Rod and his pilot and ground transported the bent machine to Moree. There it was nursed back to good health.

On arrival at Moree I checked in at a motel. Next day the airport. There I met PUL. After a good look over, I went for a test drive. I did a half hour of general handling and shot a few circuits on runway 01. The wind was rather much a northerly so I did not have to work too hard to keep the aircraft straight with its drum brakes and heel brake pedals.

I saddled up and departed. The forecast was for low cloud and haze along the route that I had planned, Moree–Narrabri–Narromine and a refuel, some 189 nm.

As I flew south the cloud base progressively lifted and from Narrabri it was plain sailing. Past Coonabarabran and a big area of trees—not good for a forced landing. I skirted west of the Siding Springs Observatory and the nearby mountain that had a spot height of 4,344 ft. Over Gilgandra and onto Narromine. There was a westerly wind so I elected to land on runway 29 with a tad of crosswind.

I touched down and the left wheel instantly flattened and I pulled up with a bumpty bump. A flat tyre!

There I was on Narromine’s runway 29, stuck like a shag on a rock. No one around and the cold wind must have come direct from the Antarctic. I called Rod and give him the good news.

I tried to get the airport manager but he was on his day off. Then low and behold he trundled up in his work truck. Soon after≤ another fellow turned up. He got a trolley used to raise gliders with the gliding club and we slowly manhandled it to a hangar. There we spent almost an hour trying to get the tyre off the wheel.

A guy working on a Mooney in the hangar showed how you have to take off the outer rim, then push back the tyre casing to get access to a circular circlip. Once that is removed the tyre can then come free and give you access to the tube inside. Sound easy? Not for an Auster wheel newbee.

Now with the tube in hand, it was easy to see how it had been pinched when the out rim had been put on. The secret is to have some inflation in the tube before fixing everything in place. Hmm! So we were in need of a 600 x 6.5 tube. Only the Brits could have an odd size. The manager took me into town to a tyre shop.

“Nope, cannot help you with a 600 x 6.5 tube but I have a 6.0 and a 7.0. Which one do you want?” I took the 600 x 7.0 tube. Then we trundled by a hardware store to try and get a tyre pump. We got the tube and tyre on faster than Superman could. The tube got inflated and I was ready to go. I was too late to get to the next stop, Temora. I did not like dickering around a strange airport in a strange aircraft close on last light. If the headwind slowed me down I could have had my blood pressure hitting red line trying to shoot a landing in the gloom or darkness.

Overnight in the nearby cabin park. I got a special deal with a taxi into town for a feed at the Veterans club and back again as his last customer for the night.

Next day it was a refuel and then I was off to Temora, 137 nm to the south. The weather was fine. I took off from runway 29 and bumbled along with an enroute top-up from the aux to the main. As the fuel moved from back to front and was burnt off, I adjusted the trim with the lever in the cabin roof above the left door.

Past Parkes and Forbes and on to Temora. I landed on runway 18 at Temora, a breeze with the headwind. It had been a slow flight from Narromine, so I taxied in for a top up. A young fellow my age got to chatting about how he was taking flying lessons, and what sort of aircraft was PUL? We traded notes. He was all smiles.

Not a lot of avionics to worry about.

I departed from runway 18 for Tocumwal and a refuel then on to Bendigo and the nearby new home base for PUL.

I landed on runway 18 at Tocumwal, taxied up to the fuel station and got fuel. There was no one around. I started up and taxied out and started backtracking on runway 18. I was halfway to the keys when I felt a lurch and PUL swung to the left. The tyre had gone yet again!

Same issue. Here I was stuck on a runway with a blown tyre. No one in sight. A curse?

I got on my portable VHF radio and called up on area. Silence. I made the call again and then a fellow replied and said he was listening. I asked him to advise centre of my problem. Centre must have wondered how airworthy this Auster was with two blown tyres in two days. He acknowledged the call and then asked if I needed a hand. He was a training flight out of Mangalore airport to the south. He landed and with his student we pushed PUL off the runway onto the grass verge.

I then called Rod on my mobile: “Err Rod, I have this tyre problem, again.” Now what to do?

An SUV came towards me. The driver introduced himself as Jamie Ball. He was a Toc A&P and saw my problem. “Need a hand?”

We managed to jack the left gear leg up to remove the tyre. Jamie said he had worked on an Auster wheel only a week before so he was current on how to remove them. Gold! The tyre casing was still intact even after this second adventure. We had the tube and tyre off in five minutes flat.

OK, now what to do. “I think that I have a 600 x 6 tube back in the workshop,” said Jamie. He found one in his store.

We fitted the tube and tyre and then another problem. How could we get some air into the tube? The penny dropped! I had that electric air pump that I had bought at Narromine. We connected up the power cable to the SUV and quickly inflated the tyre.

I was mobile again. I taxied PUL to Jamie’s hangar. He offered to house PUL for the night and then in the morning he was off to Kempsey on the far east coast in his Thorp T-18.

Jamie drove me to the motel and arranged to pick me up in the morning. I checked in and walked next door to the local golf club for a meal. Next day we hauled PUL out of the hangar. Jamie waited while I cranked up. He fired up his T-18 and departed for Kempsey.

I taxied out and as I passed yesterday’s blown tyre location I offered a silent prayer for no repeats. God, the good one, heard me.

I launched and departed south to Bendigo. Some minor cloud enroute, then past Shepparton and on to the southeast of Bendigo. Rod had said call him inbound; I did and he steered me to his strip at Myrtle Creek.

He had a smudge fire burning at one end of the strip to give me the wind direction. I came in over the tree line, dropped a nice side slip (the J2 has no flaps) and pulled up well before the end of the strip.

The ferry was over.

I taxied to Rod’s hangar. We put the aircraft away and over a cuppa I gave Rod the saga of my adventures.

I had kept both blown tubes. The second one, the Narromine special, had split all the way around it. No reason that we could figure.

It was too late in the day to give Rod a check flight. I returned a week later and we did some flying and shot some landings and ground handling to get him comfortable with flying his aircraft.

Enjoying every minute.

I have now flown an Auster J2 Arrow Special. An interesting machine. Drum brake shoes with heel brake pedals in the cabin. Not one but two blown tyres. Good memories for the future.

Tech stuff

Auster J2 Arrow Special, c/n 2384, was built in 1946 at Rearsby, Leicestershire in the UK by Auster Aircraft Ltd. It first went to Belgium as OO-AXF before coming to Australia, where it became VH-KAY on 31 May 1951. In 1958 it was re-registered as VH-RQL with the Royal Queensland Aero Club at Archerfield. The 75 hp Continental C-75-12 engine was replaced with a Lycoming 0-235-C1B of 115 hp. It then became an Auster J2 Special. In 1963 it became VH-PUL.

The J2 was built as a low cost private owner aircraft. Only 42 were made. In part this was due to financial problems with the Brits obtaining American engines for their aircraft.

The max. takeoff weight is 771 kg and the empty weight is 518 kg. There is a baggage shelf behind the seats for up to 20 kg of gear.

The main nose tank carries 60 litres of fuel and behind the seats there is a 40 litre auxiliary tank. An electric transfer pump moves around one litre a minute from the aux to the main tank. The extra fuel gives the aircraft real range. It is best to check the pump before start up to ensure that fuel can be transferred during a long flight. The main feeds to the engine by gravity. There is no engine driven pump.

Designed as a private aircraft, it had dual heel brake pedals installed later. Cruise is 95-105 kts IAS at 2350-2400 rpm. Plan on 25 LPH fuel burn.

Glide is 50 kts. Crosswind limit, said to be 8-10 kts. Climb is 52 kts, stalls at 30 kts. There is a small battery for the starter and the cabin roof mounted Bendix-King KY97 radio.

The panel has an ASI, Altimeter, VSI, Tacho, TC and Oil T&P gauges. No AH. The bat and ball TC is driven by an external venturi. Plan on 500 ft. after takeoff before it becomes reliable. There is an American compass on the top of the panel. The original P-12 compass must have been retired due to old age. Give three shots of the Ki-gas primer for a start up. Under the panel there is a cigarette lighter socket for use with an iPad in flight. I navigated with my iPad. The charts were in my flight folder ready at hand.

VH-PUL had done some 7,340 hours to June 2019 when I flew her.

The post Ferrying a 1946 Auster J2 through Australia appeared first on Air Facts Journal.

from Engineering Blog https://airfactsjournal.com/2020/09/ferrying-a-1946-auster-j2-through-australia/

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poetic-sinema · 4 years

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Semblance: Two

A/N: It is a number of years later when Lou Taenaka encounters her former guitar instructor. He is still as calm and collected, but the semblance of attraction is undeniable.

A Myles Kennedy student/teacher fanfic.

Warnings: It’s trash

Words: 1249

“Lou,” Vivienne called out in barely a whisper as she popped her head into the kitchen.

I was the lone ranger today, holding down the fort on my own as my kitchen assistant had called in sick not a few hours ago and thus had me out of bed a little earlier than I would’ve liked. Given the late nights I’d been having, I’d left the opening of the store to Vivienne and have been coming in at noon for the past week. Fortunately for us, it was a slow Friday morning, giving me room to have a breather before the lunch crowd came in.

“Yeah?” I questioned, adjusting the speed to the stand mixer.

“There’s this cute guy at the counter,” She slid in, as if trying her hardest from not being heard or seen from the other side of the opaque door, “He’s kindda old so he’s all yours. Made sure he has no ring on the finger, so he’s safe.”

Vivienne, who’d been my floor manager and long time friend, had made it a habit out of reporting anomalies from across the counter since she started working. Anomalies from the weird guy talking to himself while she checked if he had a phone connected to him to the gentle giant she found cute ordering coffee every morning. Gentle giant turned out to have a name and soon ended up being her boyfriend of a year.

“Are you doing this as a favor to me because you have Derek?” I quizzed, stopping the mixer and transferred the mixture of the three layered magic cake into the baking dish. Vivienne had taken it upon herself to try and set me up with any living being that came through the threshold of Dimitryi’s for a while now.

“No!” She exclaimed taken aback at first, but then mellowed, “Yes…”

I laughed.

“Seriously though, dude, he’s really cute. I’d trade Derek for him.”

“No you wouldn’t.” I stated a matter-of-factly, turning to her after I popped the cake into the oven.

“No I wouldn’t and therefore I’m giving hot uncle person to you.” She grinned, leaning against the island, “Go and check him out for the love of god.”

There seemed to be little time to protest as she grabbed me by the arm and pushed the doors that connected the kitchen to the front of house and flung me out. Linda, the barista, snickered as I scampered to regain full control of my body. For the second time in two days, the sight of familiarity hit me.

“Mr. Kennedy?” My greeting came more as a question as my eyes lingered on the brunette on the other end of the counter.

He looked up from the bread display, his eyes dressed in shades as his hair fell back into place, “Hi.”

“So I’m guessing the guitar thing didn’t last for very long?” Mr. Kennedy asked, setting down the coffee I’d brought him from his lips.

Trust him to know how short my attention span was as a child. He had been friends with James since god could remember and the only reason I’d decided that I wanted to take guitar lessons was because he was possibly the coolest person to have existed in my life then. He was in a band, and he was recording stuff, and he made music videos, and that to a ten year old gave you credibility by association.

“I clearly wasn’t the best student you ever had.”

He laughed, the lines on his eyes thinning, “You weren’t my worse.”

I smiled, unable to shake off the sense of familiarity that he brought.

It was sooner rather than later that we’d fall into an awkward silence. I cursed myself for being a better narrator than a conversationalist. The ten-year-old me would’ve liked to believe that perhaps I could’ve carried a decent conversation at 24. I guess I’d disappointed both of us.

In all of our silence, I started to realize that Mr. Kennedy had eyes the bluest of blue that could’ve distracted a ship from its course. The lines around his lips seemed more intricate than before when he smiled. His arms filled out into his sleeves, no longer the mass of flesh and bones barely there like how he was when he taught me. The years have evidently been kind to him.

“You’re still really good at having conversations in your head,” he spoke, breaking me away from the further progression of my thoughts. His tone seemed to be filled with a semblance of adoration, like the fifteen years we’d spent not knowing a thing about each other didn’t exist.

I couldn’t help but light up, “Don’t tease me.”

“This place is nice, though,” Mr. Kennedy said, lifting his eyes up to inspect the décor, “I wouldn’t have imagined you’d end up here.”

“Where did you imagine I’d end up?”

“You were a really good writer as a kid,” He shrugged, “You practically aced all the assignments I’d given you that didn’t actually involve any work on the instrument. I thought you would’ve ended up doing journalism or something.”

See, now, this was where I’d truly enjoyed going for guitar lessons, and it was to not have to deal with a guitar at all. I had some vague awareness that I wasn’t as good on the instrument as my peers were, this was of course in addition to the fact that I wasn’t one to practice as much as others. I didn’t have any drive as a kid, even when my interest was piqued, and that became a downfall especially in the department of academics.

Mr. Kennedy picked up my momentum, or lack thereof, pretty soon into lessons, so once he figured that I was probably impossible to teach the conventional way, he started using a different technique to get me interested in the instrument again, and that was to make me write stuff down that could potentially turn into something he could decently assemble into a song. I was essentially the most talented lyricist under the age of ten in all of Spokane in the summer of 2001. At least I’d like to believe so.

Oddly enough, I had zero to no recollection of what I’d actually written, “Didn’t I used to write about ducks and stuff?”

“You don’t remember?” He asked, taken aback.

“I barely remember what I had for breakfast yesterday.”

“Drinker, are we?” He jested, reducing me to a little chuckle.

“I haven’t written in so long,” I ran my hands through my hair, “Not since running this place. The only thing that comes close to a decent composition seems to be the emails I’m firing to the caterers for Bran’s wedding.”

“Shame, you would’ve been great.”

“Yeah,” I blinked, my eyes drifting from his face to his hands, placed neatly next to his coffee.

“I think I better let you get back to running this joint,” He spoke, breaking me from reverie, “I’m sorry to have been a bother.”

I looked at him incredulous, “You have been anything but. Where you headed to after this?”

“Soundcheck, the gig’s tonight.” He answered, gathering his things as we both got up.

“Hug for luck?” I asked, surprised at myself for suggesting such an intimate parting.

It was good that he didn’t hesitate though, because I would’ve wanted to dig a hole and crawl right into the earth’s crust if that happened. Instead, he dove in and murmured, “Need all that I can get.”

#Semblance a fanfiction

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crapitskizaru · 5 years

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Step On It. (Driving School!AU)

Chapters: (0), (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7)

Summary: you’re desperately trying to learn how to drive, but the instructors at your local driving school happen to be quite…eccentric, doing more harm than good. Will you be able to pass the exams before New Year’s Eve and win the bet with your friend?

Word Count: 2k

You exhaled deeply in the heated inside of the car. Most of the buttons and colorful gauges on the control board were still a bit of a mystery to you - that being the reason you had the textbook open on your lap as you leafed desperately through the pages. It also had something to do with the fact that you had been waiting a rather long time for your instructor who was nowhere to be found.

There was a squirming knot in your belly that reappeared with double force whenever your thoughts got sidetracked, imagining all the tragic accidents that you could be the cause of. With Law and his wits, his calming voice and dependable manner, those exact thoughts seemed to just vanish into the thin air; but with Kid? That man already gave you a scare yesterday, and that was even before he got to be your instructor.

So much time had passed, you managed to spot most of the student drivers that happened to be struggling with the same issues as you were, wandering in and out of the driving school office.

You jumped in surprise when someone knocked on the window.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” Law’s usual smirk seemed forced. You noticed, not without a bitter taste of reluctance, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of his messy, dark hair and alluring gaze. “Eustass-ya will be driving with you to-”

“I remember,” you gritted out. “I thought you said you’ll be absent today?”

“I just came to grab some papers and I’m out, but I think I’ll be able to check on you later. Also, (Name)-ya, don’t take things he says personally. Oh, and if he ever suggests-”

“Yeah, yeah, get your skinny ass away from my car, Trafalgar. I hope you two already cleaned up after yourselves,” Kid said, making you grimace at the hidden meaning behind his words. He didn’t seem too bothered about that, pushing Law away and getting into the car - his posture was huge, but he moved with surprising smoothness. “Well? Are we drivin’ or waitin’ to die here? Start that car, kid. What’s that?”

The last question was asked when Kid noticed the textbook on your lap - which was briskly snatched by him and thrown over the shoulder onto the back seat as he growled. “This ain’t a bookclub.”

Am I really going to drive with that maniac? you thought and took a deep breath, turning the key in the ignition. Already, you noticed your hands starting to shake when you reached up to clench them around the wheel.

“I think you could practice some turns today. It’s easy,” Law added and you couldn’t help but reciprocate when he sent you a smirk. The last thing you wanted was to be left alone with the redheaded individual while Law was so available, or at least seemed to be.

Apparently, Kid thought otherwise. He furiously rolled the window all the way upwards, cutting Law off. “Enough of that creep. Hit the road.”

If all of your survival instincts suddenly decided to gather together, they’d be telling you to get out of the car and run. You disregarded the negative thoughts. What could possibly happen? That guy was an instructor, it’s his job to take care of your safety.

Clinging to that desperate conviction, you slowly rolled the car out in the direction of a curve. Before you entered the main street, in your side-view mirror there was Law, talking with the ridiculously tall man you already knew was trying to teach Luffy how to handle a car. Drake seemed like a good instructor, but he didn’t always land himself very fortunately when it came to students.

“Oi,” Kid disturbed your train of thoughts. “Eyes on the road, sweetheart. You’ll check that skinny ass out later.”

The heat in the car suddenly started to feel more intense. The vibes, however, were different than the ones Doffy gave out - his were annoyed and aggressive, whereas with Kid your worries were directed more towards how unpredictable and bold he was able to get.

“He’s my instructor,” you mumbled, trying to keep the redness out of your cheeks, but it only seemed to gain in strength.

“Pft, so what? He won’t be teachin’ you forever, will he?”

Kid’s words rung in your ears, making them tint as well. Wriggling in the seat, you tried to focus on driving. Without Law’s clear instructions, it was challenging to keep up with all of the sequences before each turn, crossing and in traffic jam.

“So,” Kid sighed, stretching and sprawling his long limbs all over the place when you got stuck on a red light. “Why are you here?”

“What do you mean? I want to get a driver’s license.” Your lips pressed into a thin line as you slowly got the car going, but it kept swinging back and forth.

“Yeah, but why? Most peeps change schools after the first lesson. Why didn’t you? And release the clutch slower next time, add more gas.”

You nodded with a deep inhale, keeping your eyes on the road. “I made a bet with a friend. I have to get that license before New Year’s Eve. He’s also a student here and wants me to get through the same school.”

“Who is he? And what if you lose?” He smirked mischievously, as if the perspective of you losing the bet was giving him some sort of satisfaction. A grimace bent his face when a rusty car drove past you. “Are you gonna let that jerk pass you? C’mon, step on that gas.”

“50 is the speed limit here. And I’ll have to get whatever tattoo design Ace comes up with.”

“Ace?” If your instructor had been drinking water, he’d have spit it out dramatically all over the place. Thankfully, he wasn’t, so he limited his reaction to a pitiful snort. “That dumbass? He can barely hold the wheel for more than half an hour before he hits the hay while the car is on full speed.” Kid snarled and looked out of the window. “That’s dumb. You don’t always manage to get the license fast and on the first try. Even if you’re a good driver.”

That’s the challenge, you thought but decided to keep quiet. On a roundabout, you took the wrong lane; all the blood suddenly rushed into your brain when Kid jerked the wheel to the right and directed the car the right way. Driving seemed like child’s play when you observed how he handled the car - with such confident manner, it was simply admirable.

“When you wanna turn back on a roundabout, take the outer lane. Common mistake.” You took his words as a way to say ‘don’t worry about it’ - despite that, your hands started to sweat and tremble even harder than before.

“Oi, get yourself together,” he mumbled, letting you take the wheel back. “More chill. You ain’t gonna crash while I’m in the car with you, sweetheart.”

Thankfully, you two managed to make it alive to the maneuvering area; Kid hit the radio at some point and the tunes of Psycho Circus accompanied you when you entered the training place, the whole car vibrating due to how loud he set the radio on.

“This whole fuckin’ school is a psycho circus,” Kid muttered under his breath, making you giggle. It felt as if a barrier had been lifted from in between you two - this man certainly wasn’t as bad as he posed to be at first. Or so you’d thought, back then.

He sent out careless waves to other instructors when you passed them. Since Law suggested to practice turns, you directed the car towards where the designated lanes were drawn - but, of course, Kid had other ideas.

“Trafalgar wanted some curves, didn’t he? He’d need some for himself. But a’ight, he’ll get what he wanted. See those white lines on the road? Park there.”

As soon as the engine was turned off, you were able to look around the area. Immediately you spotted the absurd duo entering the place as well, with Drake being the one driving. He surely didn’t trust Luffy to maneuver the car in the public roads properly just yet, smart man.

They pulled over beside you; Luffy rolled the window down with the usual grin on his face. “Shi shi shi, you guys are getting a lift too?”

“I’m not giving you a lift, Luffy!” Drake barked from behind the boy’s back. “You were supposed to pay attention to the sequences-”

“This kind of looks like we’re racing, shi shi!”

With how much you wanted to disregard that horrifying idea, you couldn’t help but admit Luffy was right. Your cars were lined up perfectly, with a long, empty track in front. One glance at Kid was enough to guess just what he was thinking.

“Oi,” he started, and you already wanted to reply a strong ‘No’. “Wanna learn what true drivin’ is about? How about a quick race, Drake? My student against yours.”

The repeated shaking of your head was left ignored when the instructor got out of the car, standing near enough for you to hear him. Drake looked like the exact reflection of your panicked thoughts when he pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to politely decline.

“No, thank you. Luffy isn’t skilled enough yet. And it’s just an unnecessary risk too, since-”

His sentence was abruptly cut off when another car lined up, tires screeching. This time it was a man you hadn’t seen before. His student was also a new sight - the girl looking fierce and just itching to step on that gas pedal with all of her might, her pink hair spreading around her shoulders in a similar fashion to Hina.

“Ah,” Kid smirked with content, greeting the new instructor. “Finally someone normal. What do you say, Shanks? A little race?”

“Only if I get to race with you, after hours,” Shanks casually replied, much to your dread and panic, leaving his student in the car. “Get on it, Bonney!”

The conversation and agreements in between the instructors were happening just too fast, as for your taste. You were barely able to comprehend the situation, when, all of a sudden, you found Kid spurring you on as if everything was already settled.

“C’mon, kid! Show them what that skinny bastard taught you!”

“W-wait,” you stuttered, turning over your shoulder and searching for your only ally in this predicament. Drake was already getting out of his car and jogging over to you, his eyebrows furrowed and expression concerned.

“(Name), you don’t have to do this. Trafalgar asked me to keep an eye on you, and this is the exact opposite of what you’d consider safe-”

“Oi, quit rambling! Let them feel those engines!” Kid laughed, quickly joined by Shanks. Those two looked like they were already having fun, whereas you felt like the heavens were calling out to you, pure terror creeping up your spine. What contributed further to this catastrophe of a lesson was another KISS song suddenly tuning in from the radio - Shout It Out Loud this time, which might have fitted the situation quite well, if only you weren’t busy enough trying to keep your heart inside your chest and not yet gushing out of your throat from nerves.

Anything could go wrong. What if you lose control of the car? What if something suddenly jumps in front of the hood? What if the brakes stop working? You sent Drake a plead for help and, seeing his worried gaze, you were ready to get out of the car and just go home.

“You scared or what? I did this a million times already,” Bonney yelled over to you from her seat, her furiously pink lipstick visible from the distance. “I wanna race! C’mon!”

You took a deep breath. Maybe it would turn out to be good practice, after all. It was almost certain Law wouldn’t approve of this, but he wasn’t here.

“It’s okay, I can try,” you told Drake, earning yourself a loud cheer from Shanks and a grin from Bonney.

Luffy’s instructor still wasn’t convinced, however, as he took on a strict tone of a teacher scolding a disobedient child. “Kid, no.”

“Kid, yes,” your instructor mocked and gestured for you to get the car started back on.

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xuxibelle · 6 years

Text

Dance Lessons

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 4,038

Warnings: Fluff

Requested: No, I wrote this for @gottaletgopete’s Valentine’s Day Celebration with secret valentines. Happy Valentines Day @softscottlang (There will be a part 2 just so you know)

Summary: Y/N has a 6 year old son from a previous relationship, which makes it very difficult to date. What happens when she finds out that her little boy wants to take dance lessons?

You sighed as you walked up the sidewalk to your apartment after a long day at work. It was a rough day with your boss yelling at you and some co-workers dumping extra work on you, but you were glad to be home because you knew you were about to see the love of your life, your little boy, Aiden. Sure you got the rude looks from the older ladies sometimes when they asked about the father and you told them you weren’t married and he wasn’t in the picture, but hey… it wasn’t their life, am I right? And why would you want to be with someone that didn’t want to be with you or your beautiful son anyway? You smiled as you made your way up the flight of stairs and unlocked the door. Walking in your apartment, you heard classical music playing and it confused you. You didn’t see the babysitter or Aiden, so you sit your purse on the table and hang your jacket up before you walk towards the music quietly. As you creep up on Aiden’s bedroom the music gets louder and you can see the door standing slightly open. You peek your head round the corner to see your babysitter, Anna, sitting in a chair by the door with her back to you and Aiden out in the middle of the floor dancing, well trying to. You cover your mouth to stifle a giggle so you can watch as long as you can before he sees you. You manage to stay hidden a couple minutes before he sees you on one of his spins.

“Mommy!” he shouts as he runs to the door throwing it open to wrap his arms around your legs.

“Hi Bub! You looked like you were having fun! What were you doing?” you asked him as you crouched down to his level.

“Miss Anna was helping me dance,” he said as a small blush crept on his cheeks.

“You like dancing?” you ask him as he nods furiously. “That’s great, Bub! It’s fun, huh?” He nods his head again with a big smile.

“Miss Anna said there are classes I could take to help me get better!” he told you excitedly.

“Oh really? Is that something you think you’d really want to do?” you ask him. You watch his eyes go wide with excitement and a smile creep across his face.

“Oh yea! More than anything! More than going to Disney World!” he tells you as he laughs making you laugh with him.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do about it, Bub. How about we let Miss Anna go home and we can go get something to eat, yea?” you tell him as he nods before he runs over to hug Anna.

“Thank you, Miss Anna. That was so much fun,” he tells her as he hugs her neck.

“I had fun helping you too, Aiden. We’ll try some more tomorrow, yea?” Anna tells him before she leaves. You lead Aiden into the kitchen and he helps you fix a quick dinner before you sit at the table and eat. You let him play for a couple hours while you clean and do a few things around the apartment before it’s time for bed.

“Okay, Bub, it’s time for bed,” you tell him as you walk into his room to see him already in his pajamas. “Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smiles at you as he climbs into his bed.

“Good boy,” you smile back before you press a kiss to his forehead. “Sleep well, baby. I’ll see you in the morning. I love you.” You walk backwards towards the door as you speak.

“I love you too Mommy,” he tells you before you flip the light switch off and close his door. You walk back into the living room and pull out your laptop to research dance classes in your area. You find tons for kids 8 and above and for adults, not so many for 6 and under. Then as you were scrolling, one caught your eye.

“Child’s Dance Class (ages 5-6) June 1-August 16. Two Instructors, 1 Male/1 Female - Both have Broadway experience. $25 registration fee/$25 per week - $300 total. Dancewear included. Text or email for more information.”

Out of all the classes you had seen for Aiden’s age group, you thought this had to be the best one. You sent a text to the number in the ad and got a reply soon later from a very nice woman named Sarah.

Sarah: Hi, Y/N! We would love for Aiden to join us in our upcoming class! As you know we start in a few days and I do want to let you know that so far we haven’t had any other boys sign up yet, but it’s no big deal! Aiden will love it here, I’m sure! If you want to bring him by tomorrow, you can.

Y/N: That would be lovely! I know he’s going to be excited when I tell him. I didn’t even know he wanted to dance. I just came home from work today and found the babysitter teaching him and he told me she had mentioned classes and he just got so excited when he talked about it.

Sarah: Oh that’s wonderful! He’s going to fit in here so well! I just know it! I look forward to seeing you tomorrow!

You couldn’t wait for Aiden to wake up, now you were excited. You texted Anna to let her know about the class and to ask her to bring Aiden there to meet you.

Anna: That’s amazing! I’m so glad you found one you think he’ll like! Absolutely! I would love to bring him to the school! We’ll meet you there!

You smiled to yourself as you thought about the scene you walked in on when you came home and how happy Aiden looked. You busied yourself around the apartment until you got tired and made yourself lie down. The next day you were buzzing. No one told Aiden anything, not even when Anna put him in the car to bring him to meet you. Once she was parked, she helped him out and he saw you standing on the sidewalk.

“Mommy!” he said as he ran over and jumped in your arms. You caught him and held him in a hug. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to work.”

“I do, Bub, but I have someone I want you to meet, so while I was on my lunch, I came to introduce you,” you smile at him before you set him back on the ground. He takes your hand in his and you all walk into the school. He didn’t notice where he was until you walked inside and he saw the pictures on the wall.

“Mommy… where are we,” Aiden asked you with big eyes.

“We are at a dance school, Baby,” you smile down at him. You see his eyes start to water as he smiles.”Don’t cry, honey,” you tell him.

“I’m gonna dance?” he asks you.

“Yea, Bub, You are,” you tell him. “Let’s go meet Mommy’s friend.” You lead him to the office on the right and knock on the door.

“Come in,” a woman’s voice calls out. You open the door and you all walk in.

“Hi, I’m Y/N Y/L/N. We spoke last night. This is Aiden,” you say as you motion to your son as he hides his head behind you making you laugh before you pull him in front of you.

“Well, Hello Aiden! My name is Sarah. Your mommy tells me that you want to dance. Is that right?” Sarah asks him as he nods his head furiously and she laughs. “Well that’s a very good thing because we have a class starting in 2 days for kids just like you! Would you like to come to that?”

“Oh, yes. Please,” he says as he looks from Sarah to you.

“Why don’t you all have a seat and I can go over things with you,” Sarah tells you. Half an hour later, Aiden is signed up for the class and he’s walking out of the school with a huge smile on his face. He didn’t like it when Sarah told him no other boys were signed up yet, but he was okay when she told him the other teacher was a boy. When you were outside and getting ready to leave, he hugged you in a death grip.

“What’s wrong, Baby?” you asked him worriedly.

“Nothing Mommy. You’re just the best Mommy in the world,” he tells you before he kisses your cheek. “And I love you.”

“I love you too, Bub,” you tell him kissing his cheek too. “Now be good for Miss Anna, ok? Mommy will be home soon.” You sigh as you watch them leave before you go back to work.

“Y/N!” you heard Sarah shout from the door as she and a guy with brown curls jogged over. “Aw, shoot! I was hoping I would catch Aiden before he left. That’s okay. He can meet him at class. This is Tom, the other instructor I was telling you about. This is Aiden’s Mom.” Tom reached out his hand and you shook it.

“Nice to meet you. Aiden is so excited for this class. You have no idea,” you tell him with a smile as you meet his chocolate eyes.

“Nice to meet you too. I’m glad to hear it. I was hoping we would get at least one boy,” he smiles back at you. Dear Lord, did he have to be British too? That was just too much.

“I was telling Sarah, I literally just found out about his interest yesterday. I came home from work, heard music, and found the babysitter teaching him. He told me she had mentioned classes and his eyes got so bright and excited, I couldn’t say no,” you explained.

“I can understand that,” he laughs. “It’s hard to say no sometimes, especially to someone you love so much.” You nod your head in agreeance. “I don’t want to keep you. I just wanted to say hello.”

“Thank you both again,” you smile before you walk to your car and go back to work. “Holy crap,” you think to yourself once you get in your car and drive away. “If that was my dance teacher, I would have paid attention in school. Where do I sign up?” you thought again. Two days later it was Saturday morning and you were getting ready to take Aiden to his first class. “You almost ready, Bub?” you call to him as you walk down the hall towards his room. You find him sitting on his bed with his head hanging down. “Hey… what’s wrong?” You ask as you kneel in front of him.

“What if they don’t like me?” he says quietly.

“Honey, there’s no way they won’t like you,” you tell him.

“But Miss Sarah said I was the only boy. They’re gonna tease me,” he tells you.

“Well, if they do, you just ignore them. The best way to deal with a bully is to be nice to them, unless they hit you, then you tell someone, okay?” you tell him as you rub his head.

“Okay,” he says quietly.

“You’re just nervous, sweetheart. I promise, you’re gonna love it. I met your other teacher, the boy one. He’s really nice. You’re gonna like him. He’ll stick with you,” you smile at him.

“Oh yea!” he smiles up at you. “I forgot about him.” You both head out of the apartment as you make your way to get a quick bite to eat on the way to his class. You notice you’re one of the first few to arrive when you walk in.

“Okay, Bub, go put your bag in your locker right there and take a spot on the floor like the others. I’m gonna go let Miss Sarah know we’re here, then I’ll be sitting right there,” you tell him before you kiss his forehead and he runs off. You walk over to where Sarah is standing and start talking to her. Tom is standing near the lockers as he sees Aiden run up and put his bag in one.

“You must be Aiden,” he says as he crouches down next to him. Aiden smiles at him after he sits his bag down.

“I am! Are you my other teacher?” he asks excitedly.

“I am! My name is Tom,” Tom tells him as he holds his hand out for him to shake. Aiden grips his hand and shakes it like you showed him to do when someone holds their hand out. “That’s quite a grip you got there, Bud. You ready for class?”

“Very much!” Aiden says as he bounces on his feet.

“Great! Why don’t you go take a seat on the mat. We’re gonna get started in just a minute,” Tom smiles at him. He could feel his heart swell as he watched Aiden bounce off towards the mat. He could tell there was something special about Aiden and that he was going to love having him in this class. When he was walking by the class to get to where Sarah was, he hear the girls whispering.

“Why is HE here?”

“He’s the only boy”

“Is he supposed to be in THIS class?”

“That’s SO weird?”

“Its creepy”

He glanced over at Aiden and saw his sad eyes looking at the mat, definitely not the boy he just saw leaving the lockers.

“Girls,” he said as he knelt down in front of them. “I know we’re not making fun of someone in this class are we?” He asked them with a raised eyebrow.

“We were just wondering why he’s the only boy in the class?” one girl spoke up.

“Yea, is he supposed to be here?” another chimed in after her.

“Yes, as a matter of fact he is. Yes, he is the only boy, but that does not matter. Why should it matter if you are a boy or a girl? If you want to dance, then you should dance, right?” Tom tells them. They look at each other then back at Tom before they nod their heads. “Aiden, come here for a second.” Aiden stands up and slowly walks over to him. Tom wraps his arm around him and pulls the boy to his side. “Girls, this is my friend, Aiden. Now, In this class we don’t pay attention to whether someone is a boy or a girl. We just dance and have fun,” Tom tells them.

“Wait… you’re the teacher??” one of the girls asks.

“No way.” another one pipes up.

“How is that possible,” yet another one questions.

“Well, I went to dance school. I practiced. I worked hard. I treated everyone nice no matter who they were. I went to Broadway for awhile, and now I’m here,” he tells them as they look at him with wide eyes making him laugh. “Okay, you girls stay here. We’ll start in a minute. Aiden, would you walk over here for a minute, please?” Aiden followed Tom out of earshot of the girls. You noticed when Tom knelt down in front of the girls, that’s when you started watching. You moved a little closer without being noticed by either of them, so you could hear. Tom sat against the wall as Aiden sat in front of him. “Aiden, I know you’re the only boy in the class, but I don’t want you to think of it like that. I’m here too. Always remember I’m here, okay?” Tom tells him as he sees Aiden smile up at him. “I know it can be hard doing what you love. It was hard for me too. The same things happened to me. Girls would pick on me when I went to my classes too. Just ignore them. If they feel like they need to say something, they’re just insecure and need something to make someone else feel bad to make themselves feel better and it’s not right. So you just have to ignore that and focus on what you love. Focus on the dancing, on the music. Can you do that?” Tom asks him. Aiden looks up at him with hopeful eyes.

“Yea,” he says with a smile. “I can do that.”

“Good! That’s my boy. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can always come to me, okay?” Tom tells him. Aiden nods his head. “Now, let’s go get this class started,” Tom says before he gets up and walks to the middle of the room to meet Sarah. You had to wipe your eyes before the tear rolled down your cheeks. That was the sweetest thing you had ever heard anyone tell your little boy, especially someone he had just met. After that little talk, the first two classes went off without a hitch. You only got to sit in on the two weekend classes because of work. There were four classes a week: 2 during the week and 2 on the weekend. Anna took him during the week and you on the weekend. You were surprised at how good he was getting so fast. It was the next weeked, and you were sitting against the wall with a few other parents. The one to your left, Jenn, you had met last week and thought you would probably become good friends. She nudged your arm.

“Yea, what’s up?” you whisper as you lean over towards her.

“What’s up with you two?” Jenn asks.

“Us two, who?” you look at her with a confused look on your face.

“You and the teacher…” she says with raised brows as she throws her eyes towards Tom. “He keeps looking over at you.”

“He does not…” you scoff at her. “Does he?”

“Well, uhhh… he’s not looking at me cause 1 - I’m married, 2 - I look like a bum,” she quietly laughs. You feel your face flush as you glance at him and catch him looking. He smiles at you before he looks away. “See…”

“There’s nothing going on,” you tell her as she gives you a look that tells you she doesn’t believe you. “I’m serious. I’ve met him once, a couple days before class started. Haven’t even talked to him since then.”

“Well, you should. Cause he wants to talk to you,” she tells you as she wiggles her eyebrows. You slap her arm as you laugh.

“Oh shut up,” you laugh and cover your face. The next day after class, most of the parents had already left but you were still waiting on Aiden to come back when Tom walked over and took a seat beside you.

“Hi,” he says with a smile.

“Hi,” you say back.

“I just wanted to tell you how much I love having Aiden in this class,” he tells you.

“Really? Is he doing okay?” you ask.

“Oh absolutely! He’s getting so good, so fast. It’s incredible,” he smiles at you.

“Good, I’m glad. He was so excited about doing this. It’s all he talks about anymore. And he loves you,” you tell him.

“Well, the feeling is mutual. He’s a special little boy,” Tom tells you with a look of happiness in his eye that makes your heart swell.

“Yea, he is. You don’t realize how much so,” you chuckle.

“How do you mean?” Tom asks as his brow furrowed in confusion.

“He… I almost lost him… and myself actually. He’s my little miracle,” you confess with a tear in your eye.

“And his dad…?” Tom asks cautiously.

“Nowhere to be seen. He left us after he found out I was pregnant,” you tell him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to pry,” he tells you.

“No, it’s ok. No harm done. I’m sure you just want to understand Aiden better,” you smile at him as he nods.

“Yea, yea… That… And you,” he tells you as he looks up at you slowly to meet your wide eyes.

“M-me?” you stutter making him laugh. “Why me?”

“Because I knew from the minute I saw you that you were different. Then when I met Aiden, I knew from how special he was, that just confirmed it,” he tells you as you bite your lip. “Would you let me take you out? Like on a date? First one just me and you, then if it goes well, second one all three of us?” You feel your breath hitch in your throat as he speaks. No one has ever been this nice to you since Aiden was born. Now here Tom was, being this perfect guy wanting to take you AND your son out… You nod your head.

“Yea, I’d like that,” you smile at him as you feel your face slightly flush. You look around the room and notice everyone else had left already. “Where’s Aiden?”

“I might have asked him to sit at the lockers until he saw me motion for him to come over,” Tom tells you as he scrunches his face. You put your face in your hands as you feel your face go red.

“Does he know?” you ask.

“No, I just told him I needed to talk to you. I didn’t say what about,” Tom tells you.

“Thank you. I just don’t like getting his hopes up, you know, cause I know how much he loves you. Not that I think things are gonna go badly, yea I’m gonna shut up now,” you ramble as you look for Aiden but can’t see him. Tom reaches up and lays his palm against your cheek turning your face back to his.

“Breathe,” he tells you softly before he presses his lips to yours as your eyes widen at the action. Your body stiffens as you feel his hand slip from your face to the back of your neck. Feeling his lips move against yours, you begin to let your body relax and move your lips against his. Placing your hands on his chest, you run one hand up into his dark brown curls, threading your fingers through the waves and pulling him closer. He smiles against your lips when he hears you let out a small whimper. He bites your bottom lip and tugs it gently as he pulls back from the kiss, pressing his forehead to yours and meeting your eyes.

“Wow,” you breathe out.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he whispers against your lips making you bite yours.

“No,” you laugh. “I think that would be you, teach.” He gives you a crooked smile before he sits back and calls for Aiden. You see him running over and your face lights up.

“Hey Bub! Ready to go?” you ask him as he nods furiously.

“Yea, but can he come with us?” Aiden asks. You stutter over some words before you catch the right ones.

“O-oh… I-i… U-uhm… I don’t know Aiden. I think he has to go home,” you tell your little boy as he pouts.

“Can’t he come to dinner with us?” he looks up at you with puppy dog eyes.

“Aiden,” you warn.

“I can… If you want,” Tom offers as your eyes shoot up to his.

“No it’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy with things here,” you tell him before he shakes his head.

“No, actually everything’s done for the day. I was heading home for dinner myself,” he smiles at you. “How about it, Bub?” Tom says as he holds one hand out to Aiden and the other out to you. Aiden jumps up quickly and takes Tom’s hand.

“Come on Mommy! Let’s go!” Aiden bounces on his feet as he waits for you to take Tom’s other hand. You take his hand hesitantly as you stand up.

“I guess we’re starting with the second date,” you whisper making Tom chuckle as you walk out the door.

“Fine by me, love,” he winks at you. As you three made you way down the sidewalk hand in hand, you hoped this was the beginning to a beautiful relationship for all of you.

@nerdraging4point0 / @sleepwalkingdragon / @sunshine112 / @summernykole / @empressdreams / @justasmisunderstoodasloki / @bisexual-sk8r /

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n

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pointlesspoetryy-blog · 5 years

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Driving Lessons (fiction)

A fictional story about a teenage girl’s final process of moving on from a tragic event. I wanted to capture the feeling or idea of “driving” away from something, a traumatic event, something you haven’t let go of. 2693 words. It’s a long one.

Driving Lessons

”My mum and little sister died when I was eleven and I killed... no… I did… please...don’t give me excuses”.

And that’s all I remember from my session today. In fact, that’s all I remember saying all day. I remember Dad taking me to the cafe across the street from the therapist’s and eating a sandwich that was far too chewy to be worth its twelve dollar price tag. Then I remember taking the train home with him and going to my room and staring at my math homework. I think I cried because of the 2010 family picture on my wall, but that could have been yesterday.

I haven’t been in a car since the accident. I’ve been told it was an accident but I still don’t think it was. That’s why I had therapy today. I’ve been fighting with my Dad because I don’t want some idiot with a degree telling me why I killed half my family. He broke down and said he’s so sorry he didn’t help me sooner, for not being there for me. I eventually agreed in the heat of the moment.

Most people think it’s weird that I haven’t been in a car for five years, but it’s not all that hard. If I do something on the weekend it has to be by the train, but usually, I’m just in my room. My room is where it’s safe and I feel safe and I can’t hurt anyone. I’ve been told I have some sort of complex, but then again not many people have caused what I’ve caused. A month ago, I took and passed the computerised driving test, for the hell of it and to make Dad happy. My L plates now sit in my drawer, untouched and hated. Now, all of my friends are starting to drive, being sixteen and all, but I know I could never set foot on a brake, turn a key, start an engine; roll down the windows, blast music, drive my friends home from a party; sing along to a song while I drive, the way my mother would always do, her sweet voice in tune with a cassette tape. When I was six and she’d take me home from dance lessons, she would put in a nursery rhymes CD and we’d yell the lyrics to Humpty Dumpty on the Princes Highway, windows down and wind in my face.

I remember the song that was playing right before the accident. Sometimes I lie awake in the dead of night and the music will crawl into my brain from some deep dark corner and my chest seizes up and I can’t breathe. I hear cars zooming down my neighbourhood from outside my window and I want to stand up and yell at them to stop, to please save themselves, but I am frozen and sweating under my covers. I flashback to the moment, the suspension of air and time and then the crushing sensation of the ground. All I can hear is the CD player scratching and the lyrics breaking over and over and over again as I lie there and eventually the disc machine gives up and the scratchy song stops; and then, silence. The song is so ironic that many times in these panic attacks I’ll burst out laughing- God really does have a sense of humour. “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees.

I got given pills at thirteen, some chemical compacted into a tablet that was supposed to make me forget. I tried to take them but they made me numb, oblivious to the world with a layer of rose glass glazed over everything. It was as if you took your depression and put a barbie bandaid on it. I started flushing the stupid things down the toilet, and the panic attacks came back. It was better than forgetting my mum and little sister ever existed.

It’s Sunday and I wake up at 5 am. This is normal for me, don’t worry. I check my phone and drink some water, and do my usual routine of lying awake for two hours, mind blank. Early morning is the only time I feel okay; I can picture my little sister snoring in the room next to me in her tiny pink barbie bed. I used to jump into it every morning, waking her up and blowing raspberries on her face. She would cling to me as I piggybacked her to the kitchen and made us Weetbix for breakfast. Mum would pad down the stairs in her dressing gown and make tea- she wouldn’t drink coffee because of the baby- and my Dad would follow, letting the dogs in and making everyone pancakes on the days he wasn’t working. Mum would hug us goodbye and take Milly to kindergarten as I walked to the bus stop. Now, my Dad will wake up early and come into my room, every day, probably to check that I’m still alive.

I startle as he knocks on my door at 7 am. My body is tired, a familiar throb that wakes up with me. I pretend to be asleep as Dad sits at the foot of my bed. “B?”. He uses the same tone every morning when he says my nickname, apprehensive and tense. I breathe loudly and can instantly sense his relief. He pats my shoulder.

“I have to tell you something sweetheart”, he says, and I can tell from his voice that it’s not going to be okay.

“Promise me you’ll be okay with this”

“What is it, Dad”

“I… I booked you a driving lesson for this afternoon”

And my whole world goes black.

I wake up again around 9 am and at first, I can’t remember what’s wrong. I climb out of bed and sweep my hair off my forehead, realising I’ve been sweating. I find myself going to my sisters' room; it’s been untouched for five years, a thin layer of grime covering her Barbie dolls and toys. I sit on her bed and it creaks. I often do this, lying under her pink covers and crying. “I miss you, Mills. I’m so sorry. You would have been ten today, baby”.

I pace into the kitchen and sit at the table with my Dad, a full cup of coffee at my seat. Dad looks empty. “It’s…”

“Yeah, it’s Mill’s birthday” I interject. There’s no reason to beat around the bush. I rarely reveal my emotions to people, no-one needs to know how I sit in my sisters' room and cry, or talk to my mum in my sleep. “I thought this would be a good day to move on, Brea. For you to learn how to drive”. There’s a long pause. Dad’s tone is slow and tired. I am silent, but not by choice, but because instead of words I have tears bubbling up. “We just. Need to move on. You have to move on B, this isn’t healthy” he’s saying, but all I am hearing is “forget about their suffering and drive without them”.

“Dad, I can’t. You know that” I choke out. “What if I’m responsible for someone else’s death again? There’s just too much to handle”. Dad lowers his head to the table. His tone is gruff. “It wasn’t your fault Brea, Jesus Christ. Your lesson is at four o'clock this afternoon, understand? Don’t you see how I suffer too, watching you waste your life and blame yourself for this bloody mess? You were eleven years old, Breanna. It was dumb bad luck”. I am silent.

10 am fades into the afternoon, which melts into 3 pm. I’ve switched between lying in my bed, staring at my math homework, ignoring my friend’s messages. Dad appears at my door. “Breanna, it’s time. Get dressed”. I feel pretty numb, along with knowing there’s no way I’m getting in the instructors' car. “How are we getting there?”, “we’re driving” Dad responds in a muted tone. “Nuh-uh. No way.” I try, tears prickling. “You can sit in the back. It’s happening, Brea” is the response I get, no sympathy, no recognition of my fear. I swallow and sidle into the back seat. Dad’s face softens and his tone changes. “I’ll drive real slowly, the place is only six kilometres away”. I curl up inside my seatbelt, trying to cure the unfamiliar feeling.

My eyes remain shut the entire long trip, although only long because Dad drives slowly. Still, every speed bump, jolt and close-passing car makes me panic. At some point, I press my hand up to the window, a light rain misting the view. I didn’t want to look outside anyway.

All of a sudden I am standing outside the instructors' car, his face frowning back at me. Rain tickles my scalp, and I can’t tell if the wetness on my cheeks is rain or tears.

“I’ll be in the back seat, B. You got this” I hear Dad say, distantly. The instructor stands in front of me. “As this is your first time driving, we will only be driving around one street. However, I will first teach you the basics of the clutch and wheel etc…”

His voice fades into the air for me. I want to run away, but there are cars that will chase me: in other words, I’m trapped.

It’s time for me to enter the car. I’m almost dissociating from reality but there is nothing I can do. The instructor shows me how to use the clutch and pedal, but his words are bullshit to me. He places a key in my trembling hands, expecting me to know what to do with it. “Is she okay?” the guy is asking my Dad, his words sounding distant and echoey in my drumming brain. “She’s fine… just experiencing some drivers anxiety…” I bite my lip so hard that I feel the capillaries burst; I can hear them pop… not normal… focus. I turn the key and the engine starts, abruptly. And I am plunged into somewhere else.

It is February 2013, a warm day in Sydney. My little sister and I play fight and wrestle as we make our way through the parking lot. Mum tells us to cut it out, and cut it out quick! But she is laughing. Sugar from my popsicle lingers on my lips, sticky in the sun. Milly has her arms wrapped around my waist and I’m forced to drag her, groaning and panting, I lock my fingers into hers and twist them back. “OWWWW” she exclaims and starts to cry. “No! SHH, Mills! No crying allowed on your birthday!” I yell-whisper, cautious of Mum in the near distance, knowing I’ll get in trouble for making Milly cry. I pick her up and carry her as I walk. “Stupid face!” I grin, and she grins back. Sugar has gotten to her head and she wriggles out of my arms and runs across the parking lot. “Mills, come back!” I yell at her, knowing I’m partly responsible for her safety. Mum gets her. I smile. Luna Park was just what Milly needs on her fifth birthday, and it was kinda fun too, even when I’m as old as eleven.

“Push over, loser” I playfully shove Mills off my favourite back seat. “Honey, you sit in the front today” My mum smiles behind her Ray Bans. Her lipstick is cherry coloured and teeth straight and white, eyes so kind as they peer over the top of her glasses. I scowl as I climb into the front, wondering why I didn’t get the good genes. Milly has the same kind eyes; I know she’ll be beautiful by my age. Oh! “Milllllls, it’s time for your birthday present!” I grin and look behind me at her excitement. I throw back my handmade paper card with a stick figure drawing and a stuffed animal full of candy. Mum scowls lightly and starts the car, the sudden sound of the engine abrupt. We roll out of the parking lot into Sydney traffic. Mum lets me choose the CD for the car trip, Mills doesn’t seem too fussed, even though I know she’d like some Britney Spears; I hate Britney Spears. I choose an Old Hits CD and ignore Milly’s protests.

It’s been about half an hour and we’re on a busy-looking highway. Mum’s letting me go on her phone and Milly’s fast asleep in the back, sugar crash no doubt. “I can’t wait ‘til Mill is older and I’m super old like twenty-three and we can be adults together” I happily tell Mum as she pretends to listen; I notice but I keep rambling anyway. “Will we still go to Luna Park when we’re older? Mums?”

“Sorry, darling, I’m a bit tired… love, just let me focus”. I always forget that Mum’s pregnant, because her bump is still small, but she somehow already knows it’s gonna be a boy. Science is cool. I heard Mum and Dad talking about names just last night, it’s gonna be Jamie or Sam or most likely Tye. I think Tye sounds stupid, like the hair tie on my wrist.

My favourite song from the CD comes on- “Stayin Alive” by the Bee Gees. Anticipation lulls away and I rest my head on the windowsill.

I hear Milly wake up before I see her because she stops her annoying snoring, finally. “Where’s my stuffy!” she whines, rubbing her eyes.

“Are we nearly there, Mummy?”

“Not yet baby”

“Where’s my stuffy? I want candy” “I don’t know love, go back to sleep”

Out the corner of my eye, I see Milly reach for my present, having rolled to the opposite side of the back seat, under Mum’s. “Can’t… reach..” she mutters; I’m singing along to the chorus of Stayin Alive. Mum quietly curses at a car as it overtakes her. “Reckless people” she mutters. “Mum, you okay,” I ask. “Yes darling, can you check on your sister?”

The barely audible click of a seatbelt unfastening reaches my ears. “Mills… Mills! Get back!” I whisper.

“My stuffyyyy”, Milly is crawling to the other side of the backseat. Mum sees her in the rearview mirror. “Milly...Camilla!”

Mills has gotten herself wedged in between the back seat and the front seat, reaching for her stuffed toy. I roll my eyes. “You’re gonna get in trou-ble” I tease. “Don’t you unclip your belt, Brea”, Mum warns me sternly. “Milly darling please, get back to your seat, I can’t pull over here”, a worried expression on Mum’s face, hand on her bumpy stomach. Milly rustles her stuffed animal free from under the front seat and prepares to climb back up. I lay my head back on the windowsill. I hear a scream.

“SPIDER!”

Mum jerks her head around to the back in a startle. She knocks the steering wheel with her left elbow as I watch in confusement. In the lane beside us, approaches a truck.

It only takes a split second.

Passengers in the backseat are 46 percent more likely to die in a car crash than front seat passengers and drivers.

For some reason, this processed Wikipedia sentence repeats over and over in my head as I sit at the driver’s seat, fingers on the turned, rumbling engine, standstill; back to reality. Two pairs of eyes watch me in concernment as I shake, breathing, in, out, in.

“Um.. so… you have to push your foot on the pedal and…” The instructor.

I’m not listening.

I’m crying, and I look to Dad for comfort, but he’s not there. Instead, it’s young Mills and Mum and her baby bump. “Hey guys” I smile. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I gave Milly her present in the car… I should have waited like you told me too, Mum”. I silently cry, hoping the instructor can’t see. “I should have let us have the life you deserve, with me and Mill and Tye”; Mum and Mill smile sadly at me. “Happy birthday Milly baby” I whisper. “What do you want for your birthday? You can have anything”.

“I want you to drive me home, big sis”.

So I do.

#shortstory writing amateur

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mwcowan · 5 years

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Philippines May 2019

Days 8 and 9 – Puerto Galera

After a nice breakfast on the deck we met Rose in the dive shop to get started with our lessons! First off she corrected a test we took last night as part of our studies (we both aced it!) and then she threw a pop quiz at us (both of us got 9 of 10, dumb mistakes…). Thus confident that we were somewhat sentient she taught us how to assemble and put on our equipment and then we headed to the pool for our first skills training. Pretty easy stuff, like filling your mask up and clearing it, use of the buoyancy compensator, and such, about 1 ½ hours in the pool. Rose is a good teacher and the PADI course is very user-friendly too, especially compared to the US Navy-based training (NAUI) I took for my first certification 40 years ago, where most of the drills seemed to be thinly disguised attempts to drown you.

As we broke for lunch, we were both surprised when Rose said “OK, I think you’re ready so this afternoon we go on our first open water dive”. And that’s what we did, met at the dive shop again, got our gear ready, got onto the resort’s dive boat, and headed out to the beginner’s dive spot.

It wasn’t too far out, still in the inlet the resort’s located on, and not very deep (about 30’ max), but it turned out to have a surprising variety of things to look at. This was just a fun dive, certainly designed just to get us hooked on the sport. We saw corals of all sizes and colors, including some barrel corals which, as you’d guess, look like empty barrels standing wider and taller than we are. Giant clams 3’ across, fish of all sizes and varieties, colorful and belligerent clown fish all named ‘Nemo’. Can’t wait to get out to some of the ‘good’ spots!

Back from our dive we rested a bit then took a drive to well-known White Beach. One of the nicer beaches around but it looked very much like it lives up to its reputation as a party beach full of young tourists. It made us glad we chose our place with its quiet and relaxing atmosphere, not to mention a pretty good wine list. On the way to the beach we spotted this colorful gathering of Bangkas.

And of course, being in the Philippines I’m obliged to include at least one sunset photo, so here are the amazing colors from the deck last evening which distracted us from watching the instructional DVD that’s part of the diving course.

Our next dive (morning Day 9) is a longer one off Sabang Beach. Still a beginner’s spot, we go to an area with a sandy bottom which is good for practice and skill drills without any worries of destroying sensitive coral. Or sensitive knees. We descend and then go through the skills we learned in the pool yesterday, such as clearing a flooded mask, recovering a dislodged regulator, out-of-air procedures, etc., just deeper and in salt water this time.

After we passed our drills we swam around for another 30 minutes or so, great practice for buoyancy control which is pretty random with us at this point. The point is to stay steady at a desired depth but annoying things like breathing affect your buoyancy so it’s probably pretty comical to see us bouncing up and down as we swim along. A bit of a current provided another learning opportunity as we had to figure out which direction to swim in order to end up at the desired spot. Still it was fun, and we saw an amazing amount of sea life. From big including an endangered Hawksbill sea turtle and a very large barracuda, to teeny colorful fish in and around every rock and coral. A clownfish snuggled into its anemone while its mate constantly fanned water over their clutch of eggs (photos courtesy of our instructor Rose).

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theshapeshifter100 · 6 years

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*Long breath*

Okay, given the response I had on my post regarding yesterdays video (I still haven’t watched it, I’ll get around to it) I felt like I need to talk a bit more about it.

First, thank you to @septicz @lifewithoutcosette @puppetofanti @bulle-sweet and @musicalkingdoms for your kind words of support. I didn’t expect it to be honest. So if you’ll all bear with me, here’s some more soul dumping. Obviously you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to.

Continue under the cut as this will probably be long

All of you are correct in that it’s not a competition for who’s in the most pain or who’s struggling the most. Hell, that’s what I would say if the positions were reversed, do as I say not as I do am I right?

As I said last time, I do have it pretty good. I’m in decent health, have a supportive family, financial stability in the form of my supportive dad. Although, as with just about anyone else, not everything’s sunshine and roses.

I lost my mum lost year, who I’m still trying to figure out my exact feelings towards, and I’ll get to that later. She was a blunt woman and whenever I brought up my mental health she was dismissive, because I know I have mental health problems, and for a while. At least seven years (secondary school messed me up). Again, like I said last time, not nearly as bad as some, but still present.

I do have some form of anxiety and depression, I have been known to have suicidal thoughts. I generally hate myself a large chunk of the time and when my perfectionist streak kicks in then nope, gone, bye! I’m either raging somewhere or sitting in a corner and crying. I know it’s unreasonable, most of the time.

A point to add is that I practice martial arts. To be specific I am a 1st Dan black belt in WT Chungdokwan Taekwondo. I am also an instructor at my local club, along with about eight other black belts. As such I do feel pressure to be as good as I possibly can be because I am a black belt and the instructor of these kids so I should be able to do these moves and sometimes I just can’t because I’m not the right shape for it or I have a weird laspe in balance or a complete brain blank. It happens to everyone and I tell the kids all the time that I’m not looking for perfection because that’s unreasonable and I really don’t follow my own advice.

Health wise, I’m not exactly fit (I know, shocker) but my biggest issue is hearing. Not often, but regular enough to be a thing I can deal with, one of my ears (sometimes both but not the same degrees of severity) will become blocked with ear wax. I’ve dealt with this for about nine years now, so I can handle it, but when I wake up and I can barely hear out of one ear with no prior warning, yeah it tends to put me in a low for the rest of the day.

Anxiety tends to kick in the worst during driving lessons (and situations involving alcohol in public, but I can avoid that easily enough) which is bad given that I need to learn to drive for my desired career path. I am just going to have to power through that one, I am aware.

I suppose the final point for the moment is, by sheer co-incidence, I had a doctors appointment today, so I mentioned my issues and finally got some vague form of diagnosis of anxiety and depression, as I had suspected. I had mentioned this to my doctor before, but I was nervous and jumped to the suicide and so the focus was on that and not the underlying problem so wasn’t overly helpful.

I’ve finally signed up for an online service that specialises in cCBT (computer Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) as recommended by my doctor, and due to my mum’s death I do have access to complimentary therapy and counseling, which I hadn’t really been aware of the fact as they would focus on my dad, and I understand that. Also I have to contact them via the phone (oh great, something else to get nervous about and possibly cry over because I’m an idiot who can’t even use the phone)

I guess final, final point. I have a hard time reaching out to be people. I guess I got it in my head that it was weak to do so. Also add in asking questions and crying in public so I’m pretty quiet wherever I go about this. Talking at this great length is pretty unusual and I never freaking talk to people.

I think that’s everything. I’m not looking for sympathy. I forgot to say that on the last post, that wasn’t what that was about. Hell, I didn’t actually expect anyone to pay attention to it, so if you’re gotten this far, great! Have a cookie, or perhaps a healthy but equally delicious snack if you prefer.

I guess this is just trying to get stuff of my chest mostly, and also so it doesn’t feel like I’m misleading anyone if they decide to offer sympathy. I know what I’m supposed to do, it’s just motivation, or lack thereof. I think everyone can relate.

I’m rambling at this point, so enjoy your chosen snack for having gotten this far. Shapeshifter out.

#mental health #Long ass post #seriously have a medal as well for getting this far #listening to my whiny arse #someone play a fucking violin #and then smash it

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shawnmendesdream · 6 years

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85 Questions Tag!

I was tagged by @wordsandshawn, love you girl!❤️

rules - answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people.

– what was your last… 1) drink - water 2) phone call – my driving instructor 3) text message – have you got enough? This was me talking to my mum about alcohol for this party I am going to tomorrow night hahahaha 4) song you listened to – Disconnected by 5 Seconds of Summer 5) time you cried – Yesterday (I’m an emotional person) – have you ever… 6) dated someone twice? - Nope 7) kissed someone and regretted it? - No 8) been cheated on? - Never dated anyone so no 9) lost someone special? - Yes 10) been depressed? – Not really 11) gotten drunk and thrown up? - No, but that could happen tomorrow oops – fave colours 12) Yellow 13) Purple 14) Red (clothes) – in the last year have you… 15) made new friends? – Yes 16) fallen out of love? – No 17) laughed until you cried? – SO many times 18) found out someone was talking about you? – Yes 19) met someone who changed you? – Ummm yeah 20) found out who your friends are? – Yes 21) kissed someone on your facebook friends list? – Nope lol – general 22) how many of your Facebook friends do you know irl? – All of them bar about 10 I think

23) do you have any pets? - Yessss I have a miniature schnauzer called Bertie who is nearly 2

24) do you want to change your name? – I did but now I kinda like it 25) what did you do for your last birthday? – It was actually 3 weeks ago today, and I went for McDonald’s breakfast in the morning, had one lesson and then went home from college early (rebellious I know). I then hung out with my best friend for the afternoon, and saw the family in the evening out for a meal :) 26) what time did you wake up today? – 8:30 27) what were you doing at midnight last night? – Doing homework yay 28) what is something you can’t wait for? – Getting a boyf lolol 29) what is your favourite animal? – Dogs 30) what are you listening to rn? – Want You Back by 5 Seconds of Summer (I’m obsessed with them again since seeing them in London on Thursday, and I am SO HYPEDDD for their new album) 31) have you ever talked to a person named Tom? - Most guys I know are called Tom hahaha 32) something that’s getting on your nerves – That I am so far a rubbish driver 33) most visited website - YouTube by far 34) hair colour - Dark brown 35) long or short hair - Long 36) do you have a crush on someone? – Indeed I do 37) what do you like about yourself? - Hard question, but I actually think I am kind if funny sometimes, even though I am awkward in most situations :/ 38) want any piercings? - I already have two piercings on each lobe of my ears, and my helix on the right side, so I don’t think I want any more 39) blood type – No idea 40) nicknames – H (and I love the fact that most of my new friends to call me by it) 41) relationship status - Very single 42) sign – Aries 43) pronouns - she/her 44) fave tv show – The Vampire Diaries, Game Of Thrones, Gilmore Girls, Stranger Things, Black Mirror, Teen Wolf and so, so many more but we’d be here all day if I listed them all 45) tattoos - Zero 46) right or left handed - Right 47) ever had a surgery? – I had two teeth taken out when I was younger and it was a very traumatic experience lmao 48) piercings - Already answered this oops hahaha 49) sport – Who do you think I am? 50) vacation – Normally just to London and Cornwall and places like that in the UK, but I have been to various states in America several times and I love that 51) trainers - I’m actually obsessed with trainers but they’re soooo expensive, I really want the Nike Air Max 97s – more general 52) eating – Nothing is better than pepperoni pizza 53) drinking – I try to drink water and that’s about it 54) I’m about to watch – Videos of New Hope Club on YouTube that I have already watched about 40 times?? 55) waiting for – That party tomorrow night yessss 56) want – To finish reading those 2 books that I am meant to read for Monday and haven’t started at all 57) get married – I need a boyfriend first calm down 58) career – I would love to be a singer, but I’m not talented enough I don’t think, so something to do with English and English Literature – which is better 59) hugs or kisses - Hugs 60) lips or eyes - Eyes 61) taller or shorter - Taller 62) older or younger – Older 63) nice arms or stomach – Ummm stomach? 64) hookups or relationships - Relationships 65) troublemaker or hesitant - Probably troublemaker oops – have you ever 66) kissed a stranger - No 67) drank hard liquor - No 68) turned someone down – No 69) sex on the first date - No 70) broken someone’s heart – Idk 71) had your heart broken - Yes 72) been arrested - No 73) cried when someone died – Yes 74) fallen for a friend – I don’t want to answer that lol – do you believe in 75) yourself - I think so 76) miracles - Not really 77) love at first sight - I would like to 78) Santa Claus - 10000% 79) angels - Yes – misc 80) eye colour – Blue 81) best friends’ name – Laura 82) favourite movie – The Fault In Our Stars and all the Harry Potter films 83) favourite actor – Ansel Elgort 84) favourite cartoon – I don’t really watch cartoons 85) favourite teacher’s name – Adele or Carolyn

I’m tagging @brighterthanluckystars , @shit-to-kinda-okay , @everythingshawnmendes and anyone else who wants to do thissss

#tag #Shawn mendes #me #personal

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wanderingxstars · 7 years

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Social Anxiety

One of the reasons I joined Tumbr in the first place was because I was experiencing things that I didn’t understand and that no one I told in real life understood either. On Tumblr, it’s a lot easier to find relatable quotes and others who feel similar to how you feel. At the time I thought I was just shy. Time and time again I was told by teachers, friends, family, even parents of friends that I was shy and that eventually I would ‘grow out of it’, I’d ‘come out my shell,’ I’d stop being so shy and for a while I believed them.

I can’t remember the exact time where I thought ‘no hold up, something is wrong, i am not just shy,’ and I don’t think there was a specific event that triggered me off into thinking I wasn’t just shy, but I think that over time and as life became more and more about social interactions, I came to realize that how I was feeling, I didn’t want to feel anymore.

I was fed up of always having to force myself to make conversation with people because I was too scared to actually talk to people, I was fed up with only having one-worded answers to say, I was fed up of not being able to survive a driving lesson without bursting into tears, I was fed up of my voice shaking and my heart bounding so loud you could probably hear it while I was giving a presentation, I was fed up of feeling so overly awkward and out of place and like no one liked me and that people were judging me. I was fed up of always thinking I was going to say or do the wrong thing, or embarrass myself. I was just really fed up.

At this point, I was annoyed that I thought everyone was moving on in life and becoming their own person and gaining their own independence, while I was still a nervous wreck that would probably cry if you spoke to me. I remember when my ex-boyfriend past his driving test and although I was so happy for him I was also so annoyed at myself because I couldn't even get in the car without crying. The stupid thing being I wasn’t even scared about driving a car, I was scared about my driving instructor talking to me and NO ONE understood that. At the same time I was so stressed about uni application because I was convinced uni wasn’t for me because I was too shy and wouldnt make friends and wouldnt be able to cope on my own as I was. At uni open days I mentioned to different people how I felt and a lot of them told me to go talk to my GP about it. So I booked an appointment with my GP, told her what was up and she basically said she wasn’t going to diagnose me with anything because it’s not about the label, it’s about trying to treat the person. In a way I agree with this, but how current systems work, not having a diagnosis makes some things a little difficult later on, but I’m not gonna talk about this too much.

Anyway, I was put on a 6 month waiting list and so in the meantime, I told the head of sixth form and had counselling from the school. I loved my school counselor. She was hilarious and listened to me and actually gave me so much advice and filled me with self-belief. People even started commenting on how they could see a change in me and I was so happy. I saw Lynn as more of a friend and with her advice and coping strategies I actually somehow managed to pass my driving test first time^.^ Also, one of the main things I really wanted to be able to do was to just get up and dance at a family party. Lynn encouraged me and we made it our mission to get me dancing. And I did. I had a 70th family party coming up, I put on one of my favourite outfits and suddenly I was able to dance. It sounds like such a small thing but it was something I always envied other people of being able to do so easily. oh and just to clarify, not everything happens this easily, there are still things i struggle with to this day that I have been working on for years, but I’ll discuss this more later.

As exams approached, I decided to stop having sessions with my counselor and to focus on exams. This was my decision as my education is very important to me, but looking back, I wish I had taken more care for my mental health during exams and kept having sessions. PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH ALWAYS COMES FIRST.<3

Nearer the end of exams, the 6 months were up and I started CBT. CBT is great and I have absolutely nothing against it, for some people it 100% can work. I just really didn't get on with the woman I saw and nothing was explained properly to me. I had 7 sessions and then the woman left and I felt even worse than I did before I started the sessions. So I was left to flounder on my own over the summer holidays and then I started uni in September and I was terrified.

Which brings us up to today. I am currently at uni and still overcoming social anxiety. I haven’t really spoken in too much detail about my experiences with anxiety in the past and although I want to and will at some point, I really want to reflect on how I am feeling right now.

When I first got to uni I had mental health appointments every week, I was getting referred to different places and so I was constantly having to talk to people about it. I found this made my anxiety worse as it was always at the front of my mind and I felt labelled. I felt like everything I did was a result of anxiety or that everything I was feeling wasn’t normal and that no one else was feeling it. In actual fact, uni is a massive change for so many people and feeling nervous to go to your first lecture, or scared about meeting people or feeling homesick are perfectly valid feelings that most people felt. I am in no way trying to disregard how for people suffering with anxiety, this all feels 100 times worse and panic attacks are a thing, but whatever emotion you are feeling is valid.

Once I stopped having appointments, I felt like I felt better. I had one anxiety assessment and I couldnt think of any examples to tell her and I thought I was better. In reality , I just hadnt left my room or put myself in a situation that would trigger my anxiety. By living on your own at uni it becomes very easy to avoid situations you don’t want to be in and as i hadn’t made any new friends at this point I wasnt actually socialising with anyone anyway. It sounds bad, but I only realized this yesterday. Since then, I have done things that would have triggered my anxiety, I didn’t force myself to do things quickly, I just stopped saying no to so many things and started giving more things a go.

For my own benefit, so I can look back one day, I’m going to list some examples: 1) train by myself - I first used to get the train one way, so I would either get the train home from uni and mum would bring me back or I would get the train back to uni and mum would pick me up to take me home. Now, I can get the train both ways and I am super proud. I still feel anxious if I am going somewhere new on a train, like when I went to Birmingham, or when I used mobile tickets for the first time, but I don’t avoid doing things that make me anxious anymore.

2) Saying yes to nights out - this goes back to the dancing thing. I love a night out and I find I don’t get anxious on the night out anymore. I do get anxious beforehand and I’m not gong to lie I have rang mum in tears because I am so scared but I haven't turned down a night out and I’m learning to enjoy it and let go.

3) This one is really strange but i would have acted so differently in the past. As part of my access statement, I am allowed to pick the group i work with during groupwork and for presentations. So I chose to be in a group with Katie for Report 3. Then when we changed groups and the tutor told me I could pick a group, instead of just saying ‘okay,’ I asked If i could stay with Katie. It sounds weird I know but I really just wanted to say okay but I really wanted to make sure it was okay if i stayed with Katie.So i am proud i asked.

4) Talking more. I find it easier to talk to family now, like I can actually hold a conversation. I find it difficult still to make friends and to talk to people that aren’t close family, or family in general. I would love to be able to talk to Katie and Alex as if I have known them my whole life and I have faith in myself that one day this day will come haha :’).

I am still working on myself and still trying to better myself. I really want this to be taken as a little encouragement thing,to show that things can get better. Things may not be perfect and exactly how you want them to be but be proud of what you have achieved. You Got This <3

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camille-marshall-blog · 7 years

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Challenge #3

Alternately Titled: Focusing on the Present (and other gifts)

a/n: Heyoooo, happy holidays everyone! Dropping this little fic for Challenge 3! Hope you’re having fun during your winter breaks!! By some Christmas miracle, I actually had time to chill and write this soooo yay! Hope you enjoy this one!! Thank you so much to @jace-bennett for the RP!! The shopping was fun! Anyways, again enjoy and I’ll see you guys around! (4,394 words)

I thought that I would get used to this whole being Selected stuff, I mean… I’ve been here for nearly 2 months- but everyday I still wake up with a heavy feeling in my chest and a guilt that I was somehow not meant to be here. Was I meant to be here? I know there have been moments that made me feel like I had a place here, moments of neon lights and forgotten bowling shoes, the times that reminded me how to laugh between pages of a library book, instances of rubber soles crunching against the ground, and whispers lighter than a feather during shared meals. I was beginning to feel connected to the people I was meeting in this palace, but not without a price.

Despite this guilt, I still continue on with this Selection and try to perform everything to the best of my abilities. I think I’ve been making progress with the people here, actually having the courage to stay in the women’s room to mingle sometimes. It was just hard to get close with other people when you’re so used to moving around- no relationship was permanent.

But against my instincts, I’ve been lately taking choices that made me feel more comfortable around these people. Just a few days ago I agreed to join a Secret Santa, and that reminded me of another thing that helped make me feel better.

There’s magic in the air when the calendars shift from November 30 to December 1. It’s like when everything in the world tends to get a little better because the holidays were fast approaching. As the song really went, it was always the most wonderful time of the year, and the holiday season has never failed to lift my spirits up.

I’m not going to deny it: Christmas is and always will be one of my favorite holidays EVER, and one of my favorite activities definitely had to be Christmas shopping.It was more on seeing the sheer joy in the eyes of the people I gave gifts to, and the way my heart leaps when I know that I made my friends happy.

This year, I was not planning on missing out on one of my favorite holiday activities, so I informed my guard friends that I was going to go out of the palace to go Christmas shopping yesterday, and I luckily got the approval to head out on my own.

I walk into the garage, wearing my own civilian attire. I needed a breath of fresh air from the palace. This morning, I wasn’t feeling like my best self again, so maybe a little reminder of Christmas was going to help me feel better.

Just as I was looking for a set of keys in the garage, a voice from behind startles me.

"Umm are you looking for something?”

At the sound of the voice, I jump and put my fists up- almost out of instinct, just in case of an attacker, but I immediately relax at the sight of a confused looking Jace Bennett standing right in front of me.

“Oh whoa, it's just you Bennett.” I comment, relaxing myself and standing upright again.

“What are you doing?” he asks me, reaching up for his own car keys. Wait… was he going out?

“I need a ride to the city... and I was told that I could borrow one of the cars here.” I answer, putting my hands again in my pockets.

He raises his eyebrows at me, “Yeah sure, I'm leaving I can take you if you want.”

I didn’t even ask him for a ride, but it was definitely decent that he was offering me one. “Huh, thanks. I’d appreciate it.”

“Where exactly do you want to go?” Jace opens his car’s door, ready to leave.

“Eh, depends on where you're going…” I open my own door, “You aren't by any chance passing by South Coast Plaza, are you?”

“It's a little out of the way but I can take you. Are you just in the mood to go shopping?” he asks me as I get into his car.

“Kinda, more like Christmas shopping.. we've got a secret santa among us Selected girls going on right now. Thanks a lot though… Are you sure I'm not bothering you?”

“What are you planning to get?” Jace nods as he starts the car, “No not at all, I was just going home because there was nothing else for me to do here. This is actually giving me something to do.”

“Thanks a lot.” I say as I put my seatbelt on (who knew how safe of a driver he was), “I'm getting A book for the person I got, and a couple more stuff for friends.”

“The secret santa thing sounds fun. So I'm guessing you girls are getting along well?” Jace asks me as he pulls out to the driveway.

“You guess right, I think everyone's becoming really close with each other... at least.. that's what I hear is going on in the women's room.”

“Are you not becoming close with them?”

“Oh I am, I have friends here.” I shake my head, trying to prove to him that I wasn’t as anti-social as most people thought, “I just don't visit the women's room a lot.” I explain to him.

“Ooooh got it. what else do you guys do? Like how do you spend a whole day at the palace?”

“Well, there are lessons for half the day with your mom, we talk about all those etiquette and royal protocols one of us would be using in the future. She's definitely... enthusiastic about etiquette.” I snort, remembering the morning lessons with Jace’s mother, and how much she reminded me of one of my old drill sergeants.

Jace laughs as he drives, “That's just the way she is. At least the ones who won't become one of the royals will know how to eat a meal properly.”

“I think table etiquette's kinda common in this day and age, I mean... even I learned some twisted form of it way back in military school.” I add to him, feeling a little defensive. God forbid that the few of us not born into fame and royalty didn’t know how to differentiate the fish fork from the salad fork.

“And now you are getting the full blown version of it.”

“Definitely a full blown version,” I laugh a little under my breath, “with an instructor who's just as fierce as any drill sergeant. So, what do you do? Like on a normal day, whether it's in or away from the palace, what do you do?”

Jace Benett was more like an anomally in the palace- a figure you hear about from others’ experiences. I always wondered what he usually did in the palace other than hang out with the prince. From what he’s told me himself, Nate was busy a lot, so my curiousity got the best of me when I ask Jace that.

“Hang out here mostly,” Jace shrugs, “There is something always going on which always keeps me busy. But at home I don’t do very much, like I have other friends other than Nate which I hang out with but most of the time I’m just chilling in my room or when I can convince my mother to let me go on a trip than I do that.” he shrugs again, “I don’t have that exciting of a life.”

“Jace Bennett, not having an exciting life? I find that difficult to believe.” I raise my eyebrows at his admission, “Sounds like you have a lot of fun though.” I contradict, looking at the boy in front of me- he didn’t seem like the type to describe his life as anything but exciting.

“Yeah I get to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it.” he agrees.

I decide to go back to answering his first question, “That's cool... so continuing that answer to your first question, the Selected usually get half the day off so I kinda do anything that makes me a little more productive. The guards have a small training center underground where I can practice my marksmanship... I go over old war stories in the library... anything that makes me feel like... I'm doing something.”

“Marksmanship? What’s that?” Jace asks me.

“Umm.. uh... shooting guns... Can't get rusty while I'm here in the palace.” I shrug. Call me a workaholic or whatever, I just don’t like doing things without having a purpose, there always needed to be an end goal. Exploring the subterrainian levels of the palace had helped me discover some of the guards’ training centers. All I knew was that I stood an 18 to 1 chance of getting deployed after this Selection.

Jace nods, “Makes sense, are you good at the whole shooting guns thing?”

“I think I am, I mean.. it's all about practice and aim, and learning how to work with different kinds of guns... the ones in the palace are the same as the ones in my old base, so it's really just for polishing on old skills.” I explain to Jace, before realizing how weirdly specific I was getting with him.

I shake my head with a laugh. “Wow, I must sound like some psycho to you right now.”

Wouldn’t want my possible husband’s (okay not really my possible husband- we went on one date) best friend to think that I’m crazy.

“No you aren’t it’s your job, as long as you aren’t a serial killer than you’re good.” I was technically trained to kill for the military, did that count? I hope it didn’t.

“I can confirm that I am definitely not a serial killer.” I shrug, “So Bennett, where do you like to take trips to? You seem like the traveling type.”

“Really anywhere. I have gone all over the world, I like water and deserts the most. I have joined Nate and Mr. Schreave on business trips a couple of time but those are boring.” Jace shares with me.

My eyes widen in surprise and I’m trying to hold back a laugh, “Mr. Schreave? You call the king... Mr. Schreave?”

Oh wow, yeah- call the commander-in-chief Mr. Schreave- that sure sounds right to me.

“Well... yeah... I can’t just go calling him Spencer. When I was little I wouldn’t go up to him and be like ‘Hello your highness may you give me a piggy back ride please?’ Mr. Schreave is more on my level.” Jace laughs, explaining to me.

“You have a good point, but now,” I burst out laughing, “I can't get the mental image of the king giving piggy back ride to a little Jace out of my head.”

“He did it more than you’d think,” he laughs along, “He’s the best, he always puts his family first.”

“I could tell, it rubs off a lot on Nate too.” I reply, realizing they both had the same magnanimous aura.

“Nate is like the perfect person.” Jace says rolling his eyes, and that catches my attention.

I’ve heard so many describe his perfection, maids, guards, staff, other Selected… and now his best friend. A part of me wanted to believe all of their praise but the other part reminded me that no person could honestly be that perfect.

“He's sweeter than most guys I've known, that's for sure.” I comment about Nate, mentioning the aspect that I liked about him the most. There was compassion in that soul.

“He’s okay.” Jace remarks, and I laugh again in response- typical boy reactions. Of course they share some form of self-deprecation for their friends.

“Okay seems like an understatement for him,” I shrug almost defensively, “Then again you're his best friend.”

“It’s how best friends are, how about you what’s yours like?” Jace remarks before turning the conversation back to me.

“I've technically got 5 best friends, to be quite honest. You see, all of us belong to the same junior air squad and have been working together for the past two years. There's Lip Gloss, Wolf, Drone, Ears, and Crab.” I smile as I mention them, I missed them a lot. “I'm closest with Lip Gloss though.”

Jace laughs and raises his eyebrows, “Lip gloss?”

“Cassandra, that's her real name, nicknamed her that when she cried on the first day of military school when our instructor confiscated her lip gloss. We went to the same military school together, so we've been friends for a long time. She... was the one who was pretty excited over this whole Selection thing.” I missed Cass a lot, still do.

“She seems like... quite the person.” He comments, “The person I know who would cry over lip gloss is Mallory.”

“Mallory, wow, I've heard stories of her from the other girls- a lot are terrified of meeting her.”

“Just follow these rules don’t talk to her from 9-7, don’t be wearing the color white, make sure you have taken a shower within 3 hours and don’t offend her and she’s the kindest person you have ever met.” Jace jokes and laughs hysterically.

I can’t help but laugh as much as he was, “Oh my god, that is so specific.” I wheeze, “Is she that terrible?”

“She’s not that bad, just don’t get on her bad side and you’d probably be good.”

“Or you know... avoid her so I don't get to see either side” I shrug laughing, “Actually, I really haven't seen her around save for meals in the dining hall.”

“She think she likes to stay in her room, I’m not sure. I’ve never been close to her.” Jace remarks.

“But I do know you're close with Nate's other sister, right?” Now this was definitely a loaded question. I remember one of the Selected girls wondering if Jace and Quinn were dating… and well- curiousity got the cat right now.

“Yeah I guess you could say that.” He says nonchalantly.

“I haven't met her either, but I've heard good things about her.” That was the truth, everyone has said that Quinn was quite gracious. ((GET IT CAUSE… GRACE IS RP-ING HER?? HAHAHAHAHAH))

“She’s a good and kind person.” He’s practically turning red right now.

“I bet she is,” I smirk, I always enjoyed teasing people with their better halfs so I added another loaded question. “So have you gotten your girlfriend a Christmas gift yet?”

“Not yet, I’m not sure what sh...” Jace says before realizing what he was saying to me then giving me a death stare. HA! There it was, he just admitted they were dating.

“Gotcha” I wink at him, faking discretion, “You can go shopping with me if you want. South Coast Plaza is pretty big.” I tell him, maybe wanting to use his free time to go shopping too.

“Sure, you should help me decide what I should get her.” I’m surprised at how easily he trusts me, and a part of me is internally laughing. Wow, even in the Selection I still manage to wingwoman.

“Great,” I clasp my hands with a nod, “I definitely could.”

“What do girls even like?” Jace curiously asks me.

“That... kinda depends on what she's like... honestly. It's always good to base it off her hobbies, but you can also find something a little more personalized and stuff.” I explain to Jace. Getting presents for girls was just the same as any present for anybody else. It had to be personal- plus it didn’t help that I didn’t know Quinn personally.

“She is really into drawing so maybe pencils?” Jace asks me, and I nod.

“Drawing... yeah, pencils seem like a good idea- the collectible kind seems like a great idea, along with a sketch book.. or something.” I affirm adding a few suggestions. The thing with relationships and Christmaswas that… it doesn’t matter what kind of gift is given… it was more on letting the person know you care and as much as this made me sound like a Hallmark card… it’s the thought that counts.

My personal dilemma was that I wasn’t sure if I’d overstep any boundaries if I was going to get Nate a gift- because I had no idea what I was doing. I’d have to think about it, now I was here to shop for my Secret Santa and friends.

Jace nods, “Okay,” he says as he parks the car and quickly jumps out of the car, “so where do you need to go?”

“So I have to get my secret santa a book at Barnes and Noble... and I'm getting matching pajamas for all of my friends sooo that's probably going to be at PJs'r'Us” I elaborate to Jace. I was planning on getting a nice book set along with a couple of matching pajamas for my friends in the Selection… and five more matching pajamas for my friends in South Korea.

“I suppose, we'd come across a craft store somewhere here for Quinn's stuff.” I tell Jace.

“Let’s go to your stores first because you wanted to come here.”

“Alrighty,” I say as we begin walking around the mall. “So... do you go Christmas shopping every year?”

“Nothing too big and special.”

“But it's Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year, shopping is one of the best parts.” I feel like I personally should defend Christmas.

“We’re not really big gift giving people, like we can get whatever we want whenever we want it, so why have someone gift it to you.” Jace explains to me, and I understand where he’s coming from.

“Ahhh, right... yeah, I guess that's kind of the life of the rich and famous.” I shrug, “Everything's just at your disposal.”

If only all of us were born into a life like that.

“You seem like you are very much a gift giving person.” Jace comments to me.

“I give when I can,” I laugh non-chalantly, “Christmas shopping is basically the only real shopping that I'm interested in honestly.”

“Yeah you don’t seem like the stereotypical white girl, like shopping is everything. Like you fire guns because you can” Jace adds, and I laugh.

“Not like a Stereotypical white girl, huh? I'll take that as a compliment. You're not so stereotypical yourself.”

“And how so?” he turns to me.

“You're nicer than what I expected, I mean, you offered me a lift here, and all that. I was kinda expecting a pretentious rich kid.” I reply to him, honestly telling him my impression of him at first. I was kinda expecting a fuck boy, but I found a much more decent personality in him. No wonder he was best friends with Nate.

“Thanks...? I’m pretty sure you aren’t allowed to take palace cars anyway but no problem if you ever need a ride let me know.” Jace gives me a wink, and I nod with a laugh.

“Well, who needs Uber when you have Jace Bennett, right?” I definitely could save a couple dollars of with my new chauffeur.

“It’s free and won’t be 100% awkward.” A very convincing sales pitch, that was.

“Oh definitely, best ride ever.” I chuckle in response before I see a Barnes and Noble ahead. “Oh hey, I see a Barnes and Noble!”

The rest of the day Jace and I spent going through the mall and buying what we were going to give other people. I bought a nice Jane Austen book set for my Secret Santa, a shit ton of pajamas for all of my friends, while I was able to help Jace pick out the coolest set of chrome painted coloring pencils for Quinn and a sketch book with 500 leaves. What I found remarkable was how easy it was for me to get along with him.

“Thanks again for going with me, Bennett.” I tell him as we walk out of the mall, carrying our Christmas haul.

“No problem, I’m just going to drop you off then head, just so you know.”

“You don't need to, you know. I mean, you've done more than enough.” I shake my head with a laugh, “You can go ahead, I'll just grab a taxi or an uber or something.”

“No no it’s fine, it’s not that long of a ride. It’s really no problem, I could always run back in there and see... Nate”

“Sure... Nate.” I laugh, way to be reaaaal subtle, Bennett. “Your one and only best friend.”

“The one and only.” he laughs.

The mention of Nate reminds me again of my dilemma. Throughout our entire shopping trip, I had been debating on whether or not I was going to give Nate a gift and in my head were dozens of possibilities of what I was going to get him, but…

I’m not quite sure if giving a gift gave the right message… for the reason that we weren’t exactly that close, and it may just seem like overstepping some kind of personal boundary for both of us… or worse, looking like I’m assuming something between us that may not exist for him.

It was only just one date- but I still held a lot of confusion in this continuous limbo of single and not single, and dating and not dating. This was why I hated dating- the uncertainty, the internal mind games, the war fare that only I could only see. I felt like we were pretty okay… but also not okay? He may think that the gesture was meant to win his affection, but honestly, I don’t think I could care any less if I won his affection now- okay maybe I should because I think I kinda like him- BUT THERE WERE 18 OTHER GIRLS TOO.

Feeling like an option sucked, but what the hell, I’ve got nothing to lose.

“Speaking of him...Do you know what he'd like for Christmas?”

He flashes me a surprised look before he starts the car, “Not really, maybe he’d want some guitar picks, don’t you need those to play guitar?”

“Guitar picks, right, I think I can find them next time I go out…” I nod my head wondering if I could order something online just on time for Christmas. I remember, he loved to play guitar and all that music stuff. It was just going to be a little something for someone who’s shown me nothing but kindness. That’s it.

“It’s something small but I think he’d really appreciate it.” Jace tells me, and I nod my in reply still caught in another mental debate with myself.

For the rest of the short drive we stay silent, listening to the back to back Christmas songs playing on the radio. When we both arrive back to the palace, he helps me unload some of my bags from his car.

“Thanks again,” I smile, “for everything.” I take the bags from the back.

“No problem, again if you need a ride let me know.” Jace tells me as we walk towards the door to the palace connected to the garage.

“I will... OH by the way, in case I forget.” Or you know get eliminated before Christmas, I separate one of the gift bags I got and hand it to Jace.

“Merry Christmas, Bennett.” I managed to sneak an extra pair of christmas themed pajamas for Jace while I was shopping for Ears, Drone, and Crab (and my brothers too, because even those assholes deserved Christmas gifts).

“Merry Christmas Marsh.” He replies as he holds the bag.

“So, I'll see you around, thanks again!” I wave my hand before I walk straight for the door and run to my room to hide all of the gifts in my closet. The holidays have just begun.

#ch marshall #selectionoc #selection oc #Marshall fics #writing #jace tag #challenges #challenge #challenge 3 #photo edits

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