#i need my license for my job too seeing as tho its in the next town over

[doctorwormcore]

so like... i go back to work tomorrow... and then... im full time for at LEAST two months???? wow.... seven hour days...half hour commute each way...but...like...?!?!?!? im in training too...idk man its...its really good so far??? I get to work in aircon, in an area that directly meets art and disability work......i like it so far...in between this, being a cat mum, and now about to get my license fINALLY...everything is a bit overwhelming atm

[miyaniacs]

Sinfully Sweetheart pt.9

A/N: uhm yeah my attempt to continue this series with our fav twins... well.. its trashy I'm so sorry lol - tell me if you want a pt2 to this one so I can make it up for you lol (also it’s not really edited since I couldn't get myself to reread this) 

other parts can be found in my masterlist 

Warnings : slight NSFW, also reader is ‚slightly‘ drunk (but not drunk drunk they can still think straight)

Atsumu & Osamu 

Well you and the twins know each other since you’re born practically 

Your parents are Highschool friends 

And that’s why you’re here now 

At some get together of your parents Highschool group 

It’s cool and all since you’re friends with some of their daughters, who are almost like sisters for you 

And you haven’t seen them that often the past months - you’re all in your 20’s now, meaning different cities, different universities, different jobs, some are already engaged - the whole : Who are you in your 20’s  span of : not knowing what you’re getting for dinner to Let me pick up my kids real quick, my husband is still at work

Due to exam season you haven’t had a real chance to dress up or go out, since all your nights are spent in front of your laptop, with a glass of wine at 3am, helping you with your existential crisis and your fits are what you already wore at 3am 

SO NOW 

It’s your time to…. Feel human again.  Taking a shower, putting on a hair and face mask, painting your nails, putting on some lipstick and eyeliner, finally being able to wear all the hot fits you brought at 4am right after your existential crisis - yeah the usual 

Currently your moms best friends are gushing over how much you’re grown up etc and telling embarrassing stories of your childhood 

The fun part tho - you’ve grown up soooo much - so you’re now getting handed the good stuff and not some apple juice

You’re on your… 3rd Margarita now 

Your 2 „Sisters“ at their 4rd - they both brought their boyfriends with them who are also forced to drive tonight 

“Why are you still sitting here with us the whole time?“ One of the mums ask, making you all look at her confused 

“I mean, shouldn’t you dance?“ She corrected herself laughing 

“Yeah, isn’t that the song you three always danced to?“ Your mum laughs. 

Talking about embarrassing stories: Yes you danced to “Pony“ by Ginuwine

Atsumu starts laughing, “Yeah please show us, haven’t you just told us how much you missed riding.“ 

Great. Just great. you ignored the twins the whole time until now. 

Why? Well your best friends attends the same college as Atsumu and after all her bragging abilities how lucky you can be to be friends with such good looking twins… you started to look at them differently? They’ve always been the „chaotic twins“ who you know since you can remember.  Yet after she gushed about them for hours and proved her points with pictures on instagram  You had a rather strange dream that night.  And you can’t look at them anymore now  The sinning was WAY TOO BAD

Back to the now 

Taking a big sip you roll your eyes at his comment and sass “Well, judging from what I’ve heard you’re quite a pro at... instructing how to ride properly.“ 

Osamu chocked on his drink 

Their mother takes a big sip of her red wine 

But Atsumu gets up and now towers over you 

Fuck 

Don’t think of that dream now, Don’t - don’t - don’t 

“That’s right.“ He grins, “And as far as I can remember your skills need some serious practice.“ He smirks and now you’re almost choking on your own breath

"Let me help you, yes?“ He extends his hand, but you just look at it while you feel your face getting redder with every second 

"Tsumu, stop it.“ Osamu says and you look at him as if he’s your knight in shining armor- 

Until he opens his mouth again 

"She’s still our small innocent y/n.“ He laughs and looks at you with slightly closed eyes. 

"Oh yeah, yer right, I forgot.“ Atsumu laughs, but quickly stops when you get up and take his hand dragging him away from the table to the open space

Was it the Margaritas giving you the confidence? Probably yes. 

That has to be the reason why you’re currently placing one of your hands around Atsumu’s neck and press your back on his chest 

His hands are placed on your waist, trying to keep it all “our parents are watching“ friendly 

Starting to body roll on him you feel his grip tightening, making sure you’re staying as close as possible 

When you arch your back though-  you hear him coughing “Our parents are still watching.“  

As if the playlist heard his wishes, the song changed to “Bootylicious“. 

You laugh and turn around “Ohhh come on ( your friends names), that’s our song.“ You say remembering that you three had a whole choreography planned for this song 

“Wow and what about me?“ Atsumu teases

“You haven’t given me any instructions so you’re useless.“ You smile brightly and push him away 

Laughing it off he walks back to the table and sits down next to Osamu

The whole situation long forgotten you pull of your choreography, which includes way more hip shakes and “I dropped my phone“ or “where’s my phone“ moves than you remembered 

Your parents are all outside at this point enjoying the warm summer night

What you’re not noticing though is the fact that Atsumu’s and Osamu’s eyes are fixed on your every move 

Slowly they start to realise that you’re not… so innocent anymore 

So it doesn’t hurt to play with you a bit right? 

That said they join you on the dace floor, together with the others boyfriends

Right now some Sean Paul song’s on

Osamu is right in fort of you meaning he’s you’re new dance partner now - If he wants it or not

But believe me he wants it 

Your hands on his chest, running slightly down his torso as you go down to the beat, still looking up at him through your lashes 

Getting back up you’re wrapping your arms around Osamu’s neck

Immediately his hands find their way to your lower back, pulling you against him 

"Well.. what happened to our innocent babygirl?“ He whispers in your ear 

You can feel his breath on your neck  His chest pressing against you with every breath he takes  His strong grip holing you in place  This whole scenario reminds you way too much of your dream 

"Ohh, suddenly shy again?“ He teases while guiding your body to move to the beat 

"Uhm.. no I - uhm..“ You stutter 

"Yes?“ He asks, but before you can answer, you’re pulled away from Osamu and pressed against a slightly more toned chest.

"Samu, you never knew how to share.“ Atsumu grumbles and rests his hands on your hip

"Relax Y/N. We’re just dancing.“ He chuckles 

Was it the alcohol? Or the lack of sleep? Or all the pictures your best friend showed you?  You have no idea  But things escalated quickly and you’re now dancing… unholy with both of the twins

You’re arms around Atsumu’s neck, his thigh between your legs, while Osamu’s hands are on your hips moving them against his 

Thank god your parents left the room and your friends are too occupied with their boyfriends to notice 

"How about we leave?“ Atsumu suddenly whispers dangerously low in your ear, "I still have to teach you how to ride, don’t I?“ He smirks down at you 

"Don’t listen to him.“ Osamu says, “I’m a way better teacher.“ He says and his lips press against he sensitive skin behind your ear. 

"Uhm.. I - no - we shouldn’t do this…“ you try to convince them, well more yourself if you’re honest 

"If you truly don’t want this.“ Atsumu says and moves a few inches away from you, Osamu doing the same 

"I - wait no!“ You exclaim, without even thinking about it 

"What’s the magic word?“ Osamu says while walking around you stopping next to his brother 

"P- Please..?“ You stutter, not truly sure if you’re actually dreaming all of this again 

"Goodgirl.“ Atsumu smirks and pats your head. 

"I’ll go and tell our parents that we’re driving you home.“ Osamu says and is about to leave when you hold onto his arm

"Wait!! Non of us can drive though!“ You remember 

"… Atsumu and I both got a drivers license?“ He asks confused

"Yeah yeah I do too, but we can’t drive! We all drank too much.“ You mumble 

To your surprise both of them laugh 

"What?“ You look between the two of them 

"Baby,…, non of us drank any alcohol.“ Atsumu says and Osamu continues his way outside, telling your parents that you’re too tired from the past week and they’ll make sure to get you home safely

"You… you didn’t?“ You ask shocked. 

"No baby, after seeing you dace, we’re sure that you’ll be needing all of our attention later on.“ He smiles and leans down, "And you’ll get all of our attention.“ He whispers the last part and emphasises the all

You gulp and look at him with big eyes

What exactly have you gotten yourself into? 

let me just tag you @kenmasgameboy​ so you know what trash I was talking about alsooo @saucysamu​ @shoyosun​ since Osamu is included 

[dapper-nahrwhale]

Encourage you to write aus and post some stuff saw you say something about that so do it 💌

Asoakahag ok I did ask for that.

The most recent fantasy high au thats been invading my brain is an amusement park au where the bad kids all work there. Its got like no rules, actual children in charge of operating rides and being lifeguards and it's insane. It's kinda set in the 80s still with fantasy stuff tho (Mostly inspired by watching a bunch of action park documentaries)

(Starts off like a documentary, dialogue with intros and then flashbacks to scenes in between)

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Oh, um, I am Gorgug Thistlespring and I was an employee for The Augefort Adventuring Park. I was in charge of the moving rides like coasters and stuff."

"Great. So what was your experience working there?"

"Well working there was not uh very safe?- Wait is Augefort going to see this because he already didn't like me much for some reason, but talking bad about him is just asking for trouble."

"I would think that won't be a problem now."

"Ah right, yeah, I forgot sorry."

"Thats fine. Now back to the question, what was it like?"

"When I worked there, well I was only there for a few seasons, my parents heard the rumors, well not rumors they were true, and got concerned about it all. Makes sense. I still miss it a bit though. Not much because yeah there were a bunch of injuries on the rides. Like that was a daily occurrence. People would get sent to the medic all the time I'm sure thay they got overwhelmed and didnt have enough supplies. I dont remember. Well Kristen would know more."

"Interesting, and what was you're job specifically?"

"Oh I was one of the crew who operated the rides and would fix them when they broke. Which was fairly often. I was not good at it. At first. I got better though. Because my parents are engineers and they taught me some. And probably not enough because I was a kid in charge of these huge electronic rides that never worked right."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Riz Gukgak, licensed private investigator."

"And former position please."

"... I was the guy that they would stuck in the Tube of Death to clean it out. I'm small so I could fit. It got pretty bloody in there even with all the water going through it. And I was stuck in the moter city circuit area most of the time. Unfortunately, that was next to the water areas and the smog from the moter cars and machines would get mixed with the chlorine of the pools and create this toxic cloud."

"Huh. I did not know that. What was it like working there? And why did you choose to work at the park?"

"Working there? It was wild. I mean you had just kids there, anyone who could look 14 would get hired to work the park. Child labor laws really meant nothing to them. Legally they did alot of messed up stuff. Insurance fraud, negligence, manslaughter at one point, cause you know how many people got hurt there? I mean some people died even. It was scary. And any lawsuit you could think up. Of course they won most of the suits."

"Well you certainly know alot. But you still didn't answered my questions."

"Oh I got a job there specifically to investigate all the weird stuff going on there."

"At 14?"

"At 14. I should not have been hired."

"Yes I agree to that."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Gilear Faeth, I was the lunch lad."

"Um I'm sorry, lunch lad?"

"Yes. That is what the children and Augefort called me. Quite alot. I was also the vice president, but mostly I was the lunch lad."

"Ok then hm." The sound of paper and pen writing down ferociously.

"Now what exactly did your job entail."

"Well one of the things I had to do as lunch lad was take all the week old stale hot dog buns and place them in a colander with hot water to make them less stale. But then they were soggy so I would put them in the oven."

"I'm sorry... what? No I meant what did you do as the vice president?"

"Oh much less than soggy hot dog buns. I actually had very little influence on the park. I would say I actually had such little influence that I was the lunch lad more than i was the vice president. In fact when I was vice president I had a much worse time and was fired and rehired so many times it was unbearable."

"Uh ok moving on."

"Actually my daughter got me the job of lunch lad and vice principal. Well she's not technically my daughter, Fig was raised by me but I am not biologically her dad. But she is very insistent that she is still my daughter and now has multiple dads."

"Yes, well the question-."

A crinkling sound from Gilears mike, muffles his voice.

"Apologies, but sir I think your mike is-"

"Oh, no"

A high pitched feedback sounds from his mike.

"Oh god someone please fix that!"

"I am so terribly sorry about this-"

"Cut his mike! God that sound!"

Static.

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Kristen Applebees-O'Shaughnessey and I was the medic for the infirmary of the Adventure park. Well one of two medics. The other is my wife! I love her."

"Well ok then, is she available too right now?"

"Oh nah, Tracker has got this religious cleric thing to do. I mean could be doing that with her, but instead I'm talking to you about that old danger park."

"The Augefort Adventuring Park."

"Right that thing."

"Ok then, let's get to it."

"Well I don't really remember much."

"What do you remember?"

"Yeah I mostly would hook up with Tracker in the employee shed."

"I did not need to know that."

"Well that's what I remember the most of the park."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"I am Fabian Aramais Seacaster-"

"Sir please stop shouting."

"Oh right. Sorry. Well I was the best lifeguard in the entire Adventuring park!

"Didn't multiple people get hurt on your watch? Many times? Not an isolated incident either. This happened many times. "

"Well yes but these things do happen. Isn't that just in the nature of adventure though! For exciting things to happen!"

"Not for a park no, generally its frowned upon when people get hurt."

"Well if people don't want to get hurt they shouldnt have gone to The Adventuring Park. It is very much dangerous."

"That is something we can agree on."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Well you should know who I am! C'mon!"

"Um I still need you to say it for the record."

"Ok! Well I'm Fig Faeth of Fig and the Sig Figs fame!"

"And your former position."

"I was supposed to be on the moter city thing but I'd usually dump that on Riz to do and go smoke or something."

-

"Yeah and Fig would always shirk her duties on me to go gods knows where."

-

"I'd go to the parking lot and throw bottles at the ground from the tall construction equipment. That was fun. Everyone did it. We just didnt invite Riz becaus he's such a buzzkill."

-

"Wait they did what without me? That's so dangerous. And I am not a buzzkill!"

-

"Oh Riz is not a buzzkill. He's more of a fun withholder. Like he will tell in you if you're having any fun."

-

"Thank you Fabian! Wait no I am fun."

-

"Please state your name and former position for the record."

"Adaine Abernant. And is this really necessary? I mean I dont mind doing it but-"

"Well yes. I want to discover everything about The Adventuring park to make sure something like it doesnt happen again."

"What do you mean 'happen again'?"

"I have been thinking about reopening the Park. Of course making everything much safer and less chaotic and less deadly."

"Oh that's going to be extremely difficult but I am very excited for you, [REDACTED]!

"Ah please refrain from using my name, as this is all supposed to be a surprise."

"Alright. Well if you want any help with it I would be perfectly fine with that."

"Thank you very much Adaine. I will take that into consideration. Now back to the questions."

[vroenis]

When The Best You Can Do Is Shoot A Gun

The Animal Crossing / Doom Eternal Covid19 launch coincidentally seems to be related to this discussion, even tho I’d say Doom Eternal has an excellent combat system and isn’t really relevant to what I’m going to bring up. I don’t have a problem with shooty-shooty, I have purchased, played and will continue to purchase and play plenty of video games that engage with firearm violence. There are plenty of discussions about how intelligent, consenting adults can do this without any problems and I won’t retread them here. Doom is simple game themed vaguely around demons; demons bad, player protagonist good, good player shoot bad demons - OK you got it, apply an incredible movement system into that and enjoy.

What I want to discuss involves of-course that pesky word and idea nuance, which annoys the shit out of more people these days, for its applications and misapplications - fingers-crossed I don’t fuck it up, but first I want to bring up Ubisoft and systems, so now’s as good a place as any for a stolen picture from the internet.

As far as concept art goes, that’s actually very representative of the final product in-game.

Ubisoft appear to have a long-term open-world tech development objective. I believe at some point very soon, these individual objectives will converge into one single middleware product with a mandate to producce retail licenses that combine what each of these individual franchises have been testing and achieving in isolation, those being;

Ghost Recon Wildlands and Breakpoint: 3rd person Load-On-Demand

The Division: 3rd Person Cover and interactivity

Assassin’s Creed: Environmental mapping and interactivity

Starlink: Scaling Load-On-Demand

Far Cry: First Person implementation of various combinations of above

I’ll put it another way;

Ghost Recon: Load everything

The Division: stick to everything

Assassin’s Creed: climb everything

Starlink: scale everything

Far Cry: do it in first person perspective

It looks like all of these games are running in Ubisoft in-house proprietary engines. Ghost Recon and Assassin’s Creed are running in Anvil, developed for the very first Assassin’s game and in which the Prince of Persia 2008 and Forgotten Sands also ran in. Oddly, (Rainbow Six) Seige, Steep (lol) and For Honor are also running in Anvil.

Both Division games and Starlink are running in Snowdrop and this appears to be due to The Division having come from Massive Entertainment. I’ll be honest, from the perspective of a consumer (read: punter) and someone with extremely minimal 3rd-hand development experience, The Division looks far more impressive than both the Ghost Recon and Assasin’s games, and former Massive brand and art director Rodrigo Cortes has said of the engine that it was design to “do things  better not bigger” and I think it shows. Anyway, it was still developed with Ubisoft so as I understand it, they own it. Massive is a Ubisoft subsidiary, their studio based in Sweden.

Far Cry is going to be a little different, being a little older and having its roots slightly before... what shall we call this mess... the cynical age? The microtransaciton age? Anyway. The first game used the CryEngine developed by Crytek. At some point, Ubisoft seemed to develop an offshoot of the engine called Dunia because the CryEngine was licensed and clearly lucrative, I think. I’m not entirely sure, but Dunia does appear to remain in-house and under the auspices of Ubisoft Montreal. Where am I going with all this?

Starlink was “toys to life” a-la Skylanders but way too late, combined with No Man’s Sky-lite, but the game itself other than being overstuffed with Ubisoft copy-and-paste template-quests is an excellent proof of concept.

I do need to say that in general, I don’t have any particular affinity for Ubisoft. So I am yes, absolutely fascinated with something I do think is happening as far as tech goes and now I’m writing about it in this piece, and yes you can tell I’ve played and even enjoyed some of the games they’ve produced and published, but there’s a lot not to like about many of their practices, the least of which is the overbearing sense of cynicism pervasive in many of their games.

I played Far Cry 3 long after it released and got perhaps 20% thru the campaign before giving up entirely. For starters, nothing about how it controlled felt right and I appreciate that’s purely a personal preference. Being a Battlefield player, there’s something about DICE’s sense of locomotion that is perfect to me, even tho it varies from title to title from Bad Company 2 all the way to V most recently. Other things about Far Cry bother me tho - if there’s wildlife around, it always attacks the player, guaranteed. Everything about this game seems to be designed to force the player into engagement, to provide you with materials to collect, craft or sell, but also to run you short of ammunition to either scrounge for more or have to buy it because *surprise* - it prompts you to purchase ammunition for real-world money. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Fuck off. I uninstalled the game immediately. I can deal with ridiculous AI with magical aim and irrational scripting. I can deal with absurd narrative for the sake of reading (and roasting later), but the entire package culminating in purchasing more ammunition was otherworldly, it was truly bizarre. To this day, I don’t understand what world Ubisoft inhabits that this is something that makes sense to anyone in management or marketing, and yet there it is and there are consumers that not only accept it but embrace it. No doubt there are metrics from the mobile industry that support it and dear lord the capitalist apocalypse is upon us.

What will Ubisoft do when they can merge these technologies? They definitely want to and likely already have in-house, they just need the engine to run client-side for the Consumer. You and I and Inside Gaming are all laughing it up at Stadia right now, but we’re at the wrong end of the business. For Ubisoft, they can ignore the faltering at the start, it’s the long-term they focus on. The pittance Google are losing now, even if they end-up shuttering the project will be meaningless if they end-up getting the hardware to work, even if the end-result is the hardware sitting in a box in the consumer’s home in 10 years. Sure, that’s a long loop, but the journey still doesn’t matter, only the eventual ROI.

If this piece hasn’t gotten boring for you yet, it’s about to because you’re probably excited for what Ubisoft will do with this impending technological power and development and I rally am not. What will Ubisoft do with it? Probably just more Assassin’s Creed, except you’ll be able to snap to cover and have a fully mapped country. Probably more The Division, but you’ll have a fully mapped city that you can also climb on the outside of buildings and then enter them without any loading. Probably more Far Cry but with bigger maps and more interactivity and less loading. The next generation of consumer hardware consoles from Microsoft and Sony are upon us and as much as PC enthusiasts hate to admit it, the consumer market is largely gated by the generational hardware stepping of these platforms. That may change after this era depending on how Google, Amazon and indeed Microsoft and Sony go with cloud computing, but for the moment the status-quo will remain as alternative products develop. Bear in mind with Covid19, climate change and the general sustainability and ethical standards of working and living being under growing scrutiny the world over, things are changing more each day, our technology development may change in ways we don’t expect so who even knows what’s in store for the future.

So What Do I Actually Want?

Good question. NB: before you ask, Animal Crossing isn’t my thing. I played it years ago on Gamecube. It’s cute, it’s fine. I’ve no interest in it. I’m writing this note in retrospect because I realise you may say “Just play Animal Crossing or The Sims but hopefully I can illustrate by neither of those games is what I’m after, nor do I just want to build a house in something like No Man’s Sky and fill it with crap. Let’s see if I get there... A few weeks ago I wrote about how the best thing Naughty Dog did with Uncharted 4 was Elena and Nathan’s domestic spaces. I did purchase The Division 2 on the cheap a couple of weeks ago and I’ll be honest, there’s a lot about it that I’m enjoying quite a bit. For a start, visually it’s stunning. The art team have done an excellent job of both filling the world with immense detail, but also making every area of Washington unique and distinct which is a huge feat given the total space covered. Thus far, I’ve spent a whole lot of time just walking around and gathering resources, in part just to sightsee and explore without any particular objective in mind. After a while, I got the impression that the map was a bit flat, but the more you explore, the more you find places where you get verticality, and then doing missions always adds verticality and variety in environmental and art design, it’s a marvel to see.

Apologies to James and Thomas (above) for ripping these images, but I’m glad your names are in frame so you have direct credit - outstanding work. The art in this game is without question its strongest element.

And that’s just the thing - The Division is an interesting game in that what I enjoy most is the sense of walking around exploring, gather resources and helping people. I’m not here on an anti-violence kick - I play Battlefield, I actually don’t mind the shooting in The Division, it’s fine, whatever, I’m not going to justify that. What I’m saying is that it gets boring.

THERE ARE A LOT OF GAMES ABOUT SHOOTING.

Like... a lot. More than enough. There will always be a lot of games about shooting and that’s fine. I think I’ll always play them. Hey, I even play games about shooting *in very specific ways* - it’s not like I don’t care about the shooting, I’m playing The Division with only a bullpup DMR and shotgun combo, plus I’m trying to use my sidearm when traversing the streets as much as possible so don’t at me, I’m in the game.

But we seem to mostly get high detail assets in games with guns because shooty games get all the money. I get it - shooty games get all the sales because we as gamers like to play them - sure, I’m one of them, but I didn’t buy The Division until it was under AUD$30 because gotdam the shooting is so boring and even now yes, it really do be just more boring shooting, just like it’s boring in Uncharted, just like it’s boring in Ghost Recon (my goooooood so boring), just like it is in Destiny, and the umpteenth shooty mcshooty game. I’m getting too old for this.

Uncharted 4 had an opportunity to do something more and it almost did. For many players, it probably achieved enough of what I was after by those two visits to the Fisher and North residences but I wanted so much more of that. I want to see Sully’s house or houses, more of his life. I want to know where Chloe’s life is at. I want to know of their lives and emotional engagements outside of the frankly stupid narrative I have no interest in because it’s clearly stupid and an excuse for running and jumping that other games have since done better. If Uncharted as a whole was a subtext for character, then by the fourth game, the focus should have been the characters that carried the series thru to the end - no disrespect to Tom Baker - not the heretofore unrevealed older brother.

For Years I Didn’t Know “Walking Simulator” Was A Pejorative

I think this is why I replayed and continue to replay Dear Ester so much. I remember laughing my ass off at YouTubers making videos about how it wasn’t a game and that it didn’t have objectives. Yet there were still threads and might still be on reddit or Discord wherever gamers congregate these days - about “virtual tourism” and “just chillin’ in place x because it’s so awesome” etc. It’s fine, each generation will rediscover virtual tourism again and again and we can’t denigrate anyone for doing so, it’s certainly nothing we invented given it comes from literature and oral tradition before that, but it’s remarkable that there’s this resistance to experiences crafted purely for the purposes of being immersed in them.

I adore Dear Ester and Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture. Absolutely loved What Remains Of Edith Finch and only if you have already played Edith Finch, because it’s full of spoilers but also its own spoiler warnings, I heartily recommend Joseph Anderson’s outstanding video The Villain of Edith Finch. It’s a 53 minute watch so I won’t embed it, and he has a certain style of presentation that won’t gel with everyone, nor do I always agree with everything he says which should go without saying but at some point folks, you have to stop pursuing art, criticism and media that just wholly aligns with your own views. That said, I generally do find most of what he says agreeable, innit. Anyway he’s great and the video is great.

While Dear Esther is more surreal and Rapture and Edith Finch are in part slightly more fantastical than the real-life settings of Uncharted 4′s home and Division’s post-apocalyptic cities, they all visually represent dense, very human object-rich spaces that to me are quite interesting to explore. Dear Esther might be a little more rooted in nature but its human elements tie-in to its narrative in an extremely interesting way. Each game offers different levels of interaction, some that serve the narrative directly, some as subtexts and others quite mildly in the periphery.

I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself but I remember seeing a promo for Battlefield Hardline coming off the back of Battlefield 4 and the ridiculous marketing phrase “levolution” - the term they coined for large-scale environmental destruction (please take the keys away from the marketing department). I remember seeing video footage of a large construction crane falling in a level and thinking

“All this intelligence, all this tech, and this is what we do with it? Is this all we can achieve? This is it?”

That’s how I feel about this emerging technology. Somewhere out there (on YouTube, to be fair), there’s all this footage buried of the Beyond Good And Evil sequel that to everyone’s knowledge is still in development. I’d put my money on that being the first project built in Ubisoft’s convergence engine that they hope successfully implements everything that each of these games executes individually. I know the BG&E fans are frothing for it and when I saw those early demos, what I interpret of the tech did blow me away, but from an experience perspective, I did still think the same thing...

“Is this it?”

Because of-course, a huge part of the new game is going to be combat. I just - don’t - care. When I think about what was lacking in Uncharted 4, what I wanted more of, it was intimacy. What didn’t I like about the conversation and resolution between Elena and Nathan? About the tours of their homes, the little time spent playing as Cassie, the few insights into Sully as a character, the absence of Chloe who was such a great contrast to Nathan, Elena and Sully all-together... it was intimacy. Yea oroight, so I don’t exactly mean the type of real-life intimacy between lovers, do I - that much is clear. But if I don’t mean shooty because there’s enough of that, and I’m leaning into domestic detail and emotional exploration and reflections of that in objects, spaces and interactivity, then that’s what I mean.

Tho I’m loath to bring it up, I feel like in the worst possible way, David Cage is right on the periphery of this discussion (and for that reason, I ain’t tagging him or his games in this entry, get fucked). He has the most vague notion of trying to ground his games in the intimacy of human experience, so he tries to tie human locomotion and objects to the digital representations of interactivity. If we take those as perhaps the worst possible examples and then come back to some really good examples in Uncharted 4 so I can stop whipping it - I maintain that the house tours are strengths and the high-points of the game, and then look at something like The Division and consider opportunities for more complex interactivity centred around helping people and emotional engagement, I feel like that’s what I’m after.

Which is impossible, right? No-one’s going to make a game even a quarter of the scope of The Division, with all that amazing dynamic lighting, with all those awesome textures and mapped objects, animations, rigged character models, complex scripting and AI, interactivity, load-on-demand tech and full voice-talented support, just to be a game about exploring, sightseeing, meeting and learning about people and helping them? Because who would play that?

I would, for a start.

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[jinxiaroo]

3/24 4:32 pm 

i have work in an hour and im in this pandemic covid shit and i thought this would be a good time to start journaling. and write down what i have been feeling lately. i guess alot of anxiety. this new relationship and this job of mine. its part of growing up i guess and i need to learn to manage my feelings and thoughts better right?.... but i still feel like i struggle alot with that. i thought this job would make me feel better as a person. it was everything i wanted for so long. and now i have it i think i took for granted what i had before. maybe i need to change my mindset. some how right to be more appreciative. my thoughts and feelings are all mumbo jumbo and idk how to fix it. my fiend told me not to fix it. she said to embrace it but its so damn scary. i am so scared that if i feel it all over and embrace ill be in this deep dark hole and im so scared i cant get out of it. jut thinking about it makes me scared. i worked so hard to get myself tow here i am today and i think there is alot of improvement but i dont wanna go back. if i do i feel like i have failed myself. everything in my life is good but just relationship is something i cant get out of my head. maybe im just not ready for a relationship. 

i have been really good about communicating. hes this really nice guy. hes smart, so smart and intelligent. hes pretty sexy in my opinion. we like the same kinky things. he takes the time to listen to my thoughts even though i try not to be too much. i really wanna fall in love. and i think he mght be a good one. i dont wanna date around and fuck around. i mean its fun and all. but its exhausting and tiring. i dont wanna have the same conversation over and over again. i wanna sit at a park and enjoy icce cream with someone and be able to fart. and they wont judge me for loving ice cream so much that i dont care that im lactose intolerant. i want someone whose going to hug me and not ask me questions and jsut let me internailze everything before i am able to talk about it. i spoke with cindy and she said i need to let him in and stop trying to control everything. stop trying to prepare the future. stop trying to anticipate the worse and just be in the moment. but its so fucking hard. my whole life is planned a head of time. i always know what the next plan is. the next year. i always have an idea what the next 5 year plan is. this is the only thing i cant control. it throws me off guard. 

i also think in my head i can always find the next one. or ill just be alone when i grow old. i never thought love was meant for me anyway. but i like him so im gonna try. im gonna try to make this work. i am moving out next week cause of this whole covid thing. cause i live with my grandma and shes old and her immune system sucks. i would hate myself if i ever got her sick. so im moving out. but because of that. im gonna try to work more. try to help out the hospital and get my mind off stupid things. im starting to have too much time on my hand. i need to go and make more money and save up for a house. get my motorcycle license. i was so excited to get that. 

i really miss my friends alot. i also took out my iud. im back on ocp and my hormones are acting type crazy im bleeding non stop. and im feeling all types of feelings these days. i fucking hate it. 

i should end this on a good note tho”

things im grateful for. 

technology like facetime so i can keep seeing my friends on a reg basis even tho they cant be next to me. i got to see alvin today cause he came to pick up the toilet paper. it was really good i missed him a bunch. he said we should look at stars when this is all over. im actually pretty excited to hangout with him again. probably get snacks and drive around at night time . i hope he is okay. im grateful for this job that i am still able to work and make money and maybe make extra money from all this actually. work and save money for a house. i really wanna buy a house by the age of 30. im grateful that my family is safe and sound. im glad that everyone is healthy. im happy most of my friends are safe and sound. im very happy that we all healthcare providers are doing the best that we can and try to save as many people s possible. 

i need to meditate or something my brain is going crazy. i just want to cry and i never wanna cry. i have so many emotions it fucking sucks. i should start planning the move out. ttyl :D

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[imperiusv]

IV - Raging, This is the End

I loved that vacation on the sea just you and me, i always wanted to go to that place with someone since I was a child, it was really special to me and i loved that you enjoyed it , food was shit tho and it wasn’t as good as I remembered, but well worth it with you. After/before that i quit my job to study for the exams, i knew shitty days were coming and they were, but I had to do that, there was no other way, that job was a dead-end , draining my energy and abilities and opportunities, I had to graduate, I knew this would fuck us money wise and relationship wise, I would be way more needy,angry and would probably lead  straight down the rabbit hole , but I had to do it. In those days it was really hard for me, as you weren’t understanding at all , showed zero patience towards me and generally made me feel ever worse, that’s how i knew you weren’t the right for me , you just weren’t there for me, like you kept doubting me for everything, like doing business or having kids, that time when your period was really late, this drove me so far away from you, i was really disappointed and stopped loving you so much, i think that was the moment i started losing you for real, step by step,slowly over the course of an year. We went to Hamburg to visit my family that was nice , really thoughtful of you, I will go soon again, as i haven’t seen them ever since. Rome was good too, just that thing with the black guys was horrible, at that moment i didn’t realize what had happened, I was just so disgusted that i wanted to get away from them, I didn’t see that you got hurt or felt like that and do regret it to this day, its one of the things i really messed up.There we had a good time , we should have done more fun stuff, but i guess i was in a different mentality back then.That surprise i made for your birthday , i really put so much effort into it, I was thinking like stuff from our shared past and to make a trip down memory lane, i hope you didn’t sell the necklace, i see that you still wear the bracelet, I am happy that you do. The weekend getaway for our anniversary was nice, we should have done that way more often, i kinda regret now that i didn’t get my shit together to get a driving license, but i was just fucking worried how am i gonna cope with money and having a car, again the fucking money thing, i realize now how much of a problem not having enough money is , it gives you stress, makes you worry about a lot of stuff, stops you from doing things and prevents you from enjoying yourself, which adds up slowly over time and generates even more shit ,arguments and bad vibes. Slowly i was getting my shit together, i had graduated , my fucking internship was almost over , i was going to job interviews, which were all really bad,it was really draining on and when i finally thought i was gonna get shit done for good, like get a good law job,getting a driving license, fix my relationship with you, at which time it was already apparent to me that there was a problem i had been ignoring for quite some time and we were slipping   and finally  do what i thought i wanted to do and be happy,of course not even one of those things came to fruition ,everything came crashing down again .The whole driving test was rigged, they fucked me in the ass for money, over complicating absolutely everything, you being less and less understanding,cold and distant and increasingly more toxic and what hit the worse was the realization of post graduate life  that, you wont make any money and your life will be shit, thank you for studying for 6 long years , here is less money than a fucking cleaning lady, but yeah it says MR LAW in front of your name, shit i was gonna even be a detective, good thing i didn’t go down that path or how you were telling me to go for lawyer and we will manage with your salary and scraps from my dad, fuck what a shit show that would have been. You have no idea how shitty it was looking for a job and getting shit from interviewers and going on about ridiculous  job offers, because you and my dad were pressuring me, praise the Emperor I didn’t let that shit get to me, which was the difference between us , that i never listened to my parents, even though you always  made fun of me about being a little bitch and listening to my dad, nope, I am not you and I really really really hated how dependent on your parents opinions you were , how you made so much efforts to please them , although you thought you didn’t , you did a lot. Every time you went there for the holidays i would get pissed, because i wanted quality time with you, not to go to my fucking town and listen to my dad and his dumb as wife bullshits , it just drained me so much, being away from you, I should have embraced it and be happy for the alone time, but instead i missed you, which only shows how much I truly loved you. Standing in the cold in the frozen wind I’m leaving you behind but it’s not the end No, no, no Walking on a plane as I hold my breath It’s gonna be weeks till I breathe again How can someone not get depressed after so much shit coming their way, now when i look back I can’t blame myself that much for being like that, I mean i still blame me of course, I should have handled it better, but definitely i look with more kindness on myself going back over this period of my life, Nobody , literally nobody understood me, not even my dad, brother, friends , not even you, it was horrible , funny thing is now my friends are going through the same shit and my brother kinda is as well and they see , but back then no one even tried or made an effort, it was just nagging and bullshit and putting more and more pressure on me in a moment that i needed support and understanding.So in this shitstorm a trip with your parents was the last thing on my mind, but i could not go, you would go crazy and they would be offended, probably it would have been way better if i had not came. I really tried with them, I still can’t figure out why they never liked me. Maybe they knew i was a bad match for you and you had to keep it up with me or God knows why, it doesn’t even matter anymore of course, like most things.I was annoyed by them in that moment,but i was annoyed by everyone and everything you knew that and i still kept face and behaved, I helped them, i was useful and nice, except for groping your ass and fucking you like crazy, but WTF you were my girl, of course i would do that, Jesus fucking Christ, this was/is so  fucking ridiculous.Slowly over those months i could feel you slipping completely, you started to disrespect me a lot  and slowly  i went from your top priority, lol like that ever was true, to bottom line priority, you would prioritize time with your dumb ass bitch friends than spend time with me,the most absurd thing was that we would have fights that we don’t do anything and go anything, but so convenient, you would work on the weekends, the next one you would have lectures, the third one you would go see your mamma, and the 4th one in the month , you would be meh, lets go eat pizza, I’m tired and i wanna rest, which for me was okay , i loved taking you to restaurants, not the same five places of course, we could have tried more stuff, but every week we went out , the problem was you were bitching we don’t do shit and it was your fucking fault and i don’t blame you, i was bad company at the time , its normal to not wanting to spend time together, sadly i needed time alone, we should have split then, until i figure my shit out, that was the only way , but i was too weak to leave you, too desperate to hold on to our dying toxic relationship ,but If i had left you back then , we would still be together, how paradoxical that is, but it is God honest truth, but I’m glad that did not happen, because we would end up having kids or getting married and one day i would wake up and be like what the fuck is going on with my life and why am I with this women, who is clearly not worthy of me, as cmon you never were, not just looks and intelligence, but also your behavior , character and vibe, you are unstable , unreliable and untrustworthy and very volatile ,not someone who would want to have kids and build a future together for sure, good for some time,yes you were not right for me at all , but let me get that CRYSTAL CLEAR that doesn’t change the FACT that i loved you more than anything. Everybody around you was hating me , of course you would start to do the same ,for their own selfish reasons, your boss, he was jealous of me, the fat fucker, that i would get that ass every night and he can’t see his dick from his fat belly, but i didn’t give a damn about that porker, i have no idea why you thought i was jealous of him or whatever, an absurd notion. Back then i didn’t think you could fall so low like you are now, but to be honest you always had an affinity for gross disgusting guys , e.g Romane, Lazslo , that guy you used to date before, most of your male friends, I do believe they made you feel better and more secure, because you felt better than them and you did not have to put so much effort in it or worry about it , or feel bad and be willing to work for it. I saw that pattern even back then and from your conversations with your mom , I think you were raised like that as well, to be mediocre and settle for less , just so you don’t get burned by the fire, which is really sad, but hey , its only your life choices, so who cares. My step brother’s prom came and it was like a really weird spin of fate, two years before that was my brother’s prom and we were so happy ,not pretending, this time around,  we just looked happy in the photos and were pretending that everything was okay, which all my family noticed, sadly except for me , but to be honest i knew where we were headed , I just didn’t want to accept it , I used to talk with my dumb ass friend from my town over the phone, going on at great length , how much you are not for me and how much better it would be if we split, but i still had hope that we might get over this and things will be different , that you are different and I am not right, its only a temporary thing and so on and so on, what a fool for you and your love I was. After that your behavior grew increasingly erratic, you would pick fights with me for the slightest of things, complain about everything, nag and blab all the time. I was so worried at that time for securing employment and my upcoming last exam , that i scarcely took notice of said behavior  , which for the time was the exact thing i should have done, but as my mind cleared i focused on the things you were saying and complaining about, which was my complete downfall, trying logic and reason with you, when obviously you were doing it on purpose or perhaps you weren’t ,but it came from your deep underneath your  consciousness, in a way to force me to leave you , because you could not do it yourself. Those last months were horrible, constant bickering and fighting , i was gonna give you a meme - toxic is good , toxic is great , but we split before i managed to send it. This was quite visible and from the time we spend together or more correctly we did not, you would be at work or drinking with your slut friends , who more than anything wanted you to be single, it’s not normal for your girlfriend to get drunk, especially when she know she has a drinking problem, lol that was joke. But yeah it wasn’t normal that you would go out at noon to drink with you friends and come home at ten , knowing that this is our only free day we should rather spend it together doing something just the two us or with other people,but us together, that was my problem, not you drinking with your friends or in generally getting wasted, problem at the time of course, as I needed you, now if i was in the same situation it wouldn’t be a problem , i would just do the same with my friends or dump your disrespectful ass, you have no idea how low my tolerance for bullshit has become, if you think i was bad before, you should look at me now, I am perfectly aware of who I am, my self worth and self imagine, I am not gonna let anyone, let one some dumb ass bitch fuck with me or walk over me, its either my way or the fucking highway, you wanna be part of my life, my good vibes and self amusement mindset, have a good time, then you must contribute , you must bring something good to the table as well, if not , okay , good luck out there and hope you find what you are looking for. This has been my mindset lately and it has worked wonders for my mental state and happiness. No one cares about that tho , so lets move on  to the action part-  APOCALYPSE  Ever since i started working ,I was hoping things were gonna go improve and we might pull through , but nah, you were already set on breaking up and looking for another guy , that better looking guy from your work that split with his girl didn’t go for you, because he probably saw what you were and you took a liking into gorrila joe , he does look like a monkey to be honest or Mr. disgusting like we like to call him, he was giving you free attention, validating you and boosting your fragile ego and you decided why would you bother with me when you can have this wimp in your legs and walk over him , why try hard when you can go easy and let go of yourself and just give him the only thing you had of value, hidden between your legs. I remember when i met him for the first time, how he looked frightened, we were still together, he knew i knew what was up, but i did not believe you would fall so low and just disregarded him , i mean cmon this guy was so fucking disgusting, how could you even... Just before the end you would go into the most ridiculously arguments , like why i don’t want friends, it was none of your business and i have friends, i just didn’t seem them because of you , you would bitch and moan if I did and generally hated them and other stupid things you would fight with me, i knew the end was coming, as this shit has happened before with another , just a short explanation here, the moment we split she started writing me , sending me cringy snapchats videos of her, for the sole reason i can’t record them or SS , with stupid quesitons how are you doing and so on , my friends said i should fuck her to make you feel bad, but that whore was absolutely disgusting to me, i only entertained the idea of talking with her to get the old photos that got deleted, THAT WAS THE ONLY REASON, she was so insignificant and inconsequential to me that i wouldn’t even care if she would come butt ass naked to my doorstep begging for cock, i would laugh and go to the gym, she appeared again in this story 6 months later, but thats or the last chapter, if  she is reading this by any chance , just fuck off, you are a bad memory i erased long ago, like some dumb school project that you did ages ago, exactly can’t remember, doesn��t matter fuck off. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves, we went to that nice Italian restaurant  and the whole time you were complaining and bitching about stuff , you made an effort not to agree with anything , i don’t want here i don’t want there, stupidity and disrespected pilled up with shit. I finally decided to act, so when we went home i confronted you and asked whats up, you were afraid again to tell me, didn’t have the courage to step up and say the truth , so you gave me the bullshit idk if we should be together, this was the defining moment , I showed you the door and told you to fuck off, you started crying and this was my biggest failure and mistake, that i thought you were different, i felt really bad and sorry for you and said to myself this is my girl i should try to fix it, but no dumbass , it was already unfixable and way too broken for me to repair, the only way this shit was gonna go down my way was if i had dumped you as i first told you to pack you stuff and leave,but my feelings for you again got the better of me . You picked the perfect moment for that of course, i was sick and was feverish , I couldn’t think straight at all , if i was okay , things would have been different and i wouldn’t have been that broken, but yeah my mistake again for putting my faith in you. You lied to me that you love me and said we will work things out, a blatant lie , knowing that you were gonna pack your shit and vanish the day after that , as you do best. And the most disgusting thing was that you were still making plans with me to go to Greece and on a holiday, using for the last time, before we go our separate ways, maybe your guilt got in the way or me pushing you too hard, otherwise you would have stayed for longer with me and God forbid , if we stayed together until the winter, stop me from coming here or we could have pushed through and made it ,who knows, Praise the Emperor that things went the way the did, for me to see you as the person you really are, not that perfect image i had of you.

We finally arrive to that day 29 of August, from the morning i knew something wasn’t right I could sense you, even thought , the last night we slept together i just knew this was it, I could feel it , i asked to leave work earlier and headed home ,but it was already too late as i entered the door my heart fell andwhat happened after that I will cover in the last chapter of your story.

[arthurs-wife]

Cleopatra - 1/?

tigerlilywine said to arthurs-wife:Hey, been reading your drabbles. I think you capture Arthur real well. M!reader and all. You've ever thought of a... future au? They are still cowboys but they jump to worlds instead of areas. Bounty hunters in space. Reader is royalty of one alien species (close to humans) and gets kiddnapped. King hires the gang to save em? (Fluff is a must but smut is optional, though I'm sure you can work it!) It is an idea tho lol keep doing what you're doing!

A/N: because i’m extra as hell, i wrote a ton of lore for this and wanted to throw this up to see if theres interest because I can go on and on with this future shit.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x M!Reader Words: 1.7k Summary: Working for the agency of Lemoyne Department of Defense Services in the year 2149, Arthur Morgan and his gang struggle to complete as many jobs as they can before the Terran Bureaucracy can dissolve it completely. With the promise of one final, multi-million dollar job, Arthur Morgan is sent on a mission to rescue the kidnapped hybrid child of Tavantis’ human King and angel Ruler, going head to head with the Bureaucracy itself. 

If Arthur could change one thing about this bureaucratic hellscape it would be the Jump Queues.

Ten minutes to get to the damn thing, twenty minutes in the queue, another ten while the nice pre-Mars lady checked your license and asked about you and how’s that nice boy doing? What was his name?

“Lenny, ma’am,” Arthur said, hand over his eyes.

“When is he going to come back up here and visit me?” she tittered. The sounds of a mechanic keyboard could be heard in the background, painfully slow.

“Whenever I can rip him from his computer,” Arthur shrugged, staring blankly out of the cockpit’s windshield.

“And where are you heading today, Mister Morgan?” she asked.

“Chantakor,” he read from his console, “the Tavantis continent.”

Another five minutes to punch that unfortunate name in.

“Three jumps,” she declared, “the credits will be taken from your account.”

Arthur grumbled.

“You’re good to go Mister Morgan, jump safe!”

“I will, ma’am,” Arthur promised and sat up straighter as the portal ahead of him turned bright hot-purple and his engines were taken out of lock.

He cut the comms channel and another message came through immediately, buzzing in his ear like it couldn’t wait another five god damn minutes.

“Arthur?” Hosea blared through, “are you there yet?”

“Yep,” he said, pushing up on the throttle and sending his LASO into the portal. The comms cut out, but that was to be expected when you jumped through space beyond light speed.

First jump through and Hosea was back, Arthur turned his ship to face the next portal.

“You said you were there,” Hosea deadpanned.

“And I lied,” Arthur shrugged, speeding up, “you better get to your point before the next one.”

“I just wanted to s-”

Second jump and Arthur blasts through.

“You know Arthur, you’re a real piece of sh-”

Third jump and thank goodness, any more and Arthur’s head would be spinning.

“I’m at Chantakor now, Hosea,” Arthur said, powering down his drives and folding out the secondary wings.

He had never been to Chantakor before, partially due to its royal status in the Galactic System and damn was it a fine sight to behold.

Arthur leaned forward to peer out of his windshield at the whirlwind of activity near the main gate, thousands of LASOs, Chantakorian ships that dwarfed even the largest transport LASO. Humans were good at many things but apparently not at making decent ships. The Chantakorian transports gleamed in the light of the binary suns, making them shimmer like waves.

He almost missed his stop, the heavily guarded gate above the Tavantis continent that would lead him directly to the King’s quarters.

“Are you done being an asshole?” Hosea clips in. Arthur can just hear his arms crossing.

“Yes I’m done,” he said, fiddling with knobs and allowing the Chantakor fields to pull him in carefully.

“Alright listen,” Hosea started, “the King is expecting you any minute now. All you have to do is get in there, get his information on where his child is, and get the hell out of there.”

“His-” Arthur did a double take at nothing, his LASO stopping at the zero-G gate, “his what now?”

“I probably should have mentioned this is a kidnapping bounty,” Hosea said apologetically.

“Who’s the asshole now, Hosea?” Arthur blurted, tapping on his console. Apparently long queues were universal.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, son,” he said, “but it’s a lot of money and you’re our best.”

Arthur grumbled again.

“I will be getting the largest cut of this,” Arthur pointed threateningly at the comms, “and I will be taking the longest vacation afterwards.”

“Whatever you need to do, Arthur,” Hosea said, “but we need this. This job could get most of our systems back online.”

Yes, yes, the fabled systems Lenny and Karen had been working on since… forever it seemed. Arthur was ushered into the planet’s atmosphere and he banked down, heading to the private landing zone of the King himself. He couldn’t muster up any amazement.

He hit a button and the LASO unfolded its wheels as it touched the ground lightly and rolled along the tarmac towards the stupidly ornate building he assumed belonged to the King.

The angels were never a race that Arthur had been acquainted with either. The angels had a proper race name, but they had been dubbed so by the god-fearing human race due to their strikingly similar features to biblical angels. They were tall, gender neutral, majestic pillars that humanity had no business dealing with but dealt with anyway.

The LASO came to a stop in a hangar and Arthur powered it down, clambering out of the seat with some difficulty and opening the hatch. Chantakor was temperate and mild, almost a boring sort of weather if Arthur wasn’t used to the dramatic patterns of Earth.

He was met by two seven foot tall angels who ushered him to the main gate and the halls within the King’s palace. At this distance he could make out more features of the angels, they were all some variance of blue or green or grey, they had feathers all over them, and great big feathery wings that folded up neatly behind them. Their legs were like bird’s legs without all the scales and they were covered in feathers too.

They mumbled something in their native tongue, which sounded like trills and whistles, occasionally glancing back at Arthur. They reached a set of silver doors and turned to face him.

“You’ll see our Ruler now,” the taller one said, their great blackish-purple wings bustling behind them. Arthur held up a thumb to show he was ready to go, in true human fashion.

Also in true human fashion, the angel rolled their eyes and opened the set of doors, letting him in the room. All of the ceilings were cathedral style, towering up over them at almost 20 feet tall. It looked like the angels were just as fond of showmanship as humans were, as the entire room was festooned with colorful curtains and lights. In the far center was who Arthur assumed was the Ruler.

They stood a whopping eight feet tall, taller than any being had ever stood in front of Arthur, and they were bright. Their wings were massive and unfurled to their full extent, shining gold and green like old bronze in the sun. Eyes set wide in a dark face, they blinked several times and scrutinized the dirty man in their throne room.

“Howdy,” Arthur said unceremoniously.

“Are you Arthur Morgan?” they said in the same clipped accent, settling back in on their nest.

“Yes, uh, your Grace.”

“Thalia will do.”

“What’s this about a kidnapping I hear?” Arthur said, supremely indifferent to the angels and their customs.

“My kin has been taken,” Thalia mused with a face so indifferent that Arthur wondered if they actually cared or not, “and my world has shattered.” Of course they cared, Arthur, what’s wrong with you?

“When did this happen?”

“Twenty cycles ago,” they answered.

Arthur counted on his fingers for a moment to add it up.

“Alright so a couple nights ago,” he said, bringing out his comms pad and typing something in, “any ideas at all about who may have taken them?”

“I think my partner may have more information than I,” Thalia turned back and whistled something in their native tongue. The door behind them opened and a tired looking human man strode through and noticed Arthur. As he got closer he extended his hand and Arthur took it.

“I assume you’re the man here about my son?” he asked and Arthur nodded. It was the first time he had heard someone refer to an angel with a pronoun. Then a whole other set of questions popped up in his head. As if he read his mind, the King nodded and waved a hand, gesturing for Arthur to come sit with him.

“Are you familiar with the Llinovan?” he asked and Arthur sat down with him, thinking on it for a moment before realizing the Llinovan were the angels’ proper species name. He shook his head. “When humans first met the Llinovan many years ago there was an initial power struggle. Since then we have lived in harmony, myself and my wife included.”

“Does that mean…?”

“Yes,” the King nodded, “it means my son is part angel and part human.”

Arthur thought about the implications of this.

“You mean to tell me,” he started, “that humans and angels can have kids?”

“Yes,” the man replied, “and it’s not just us. There are thousands of hybrids now, all in hiding. Since they’ve grown in numbers, the human ambassadors on Chantakor have noticed, and they don’t approve.”

“I can imagine.”

“That’s who has taken my son,” the King sighed, looking straight at Arthur.

“I’m not,” Arthur stuttered, holding up a hand, “I can’t go toe to toe with the Terran Bureaucracy, that’s suicide.”

“Even with such a handsome reward?”

“Hosea never told me how much.”

“60 million credits.”

“God damn!” Arthur blurted out before hushing himself quickly. Several of the angels and the Ruler had turned to look at him. The King finally let out a little smile.

“It is my understanding that your community needs the credits,” he went on, “I intend on rewarding anyone who challenges the strong arm of the Terran Bureaucracy for what they’ve done to the human race.

Arthur thought a moment, mulling over the state of Earth, the constant rebuilding of the communities, the lush paradise of Amazonia that only the richest could afford to step foot onto.

“Alright,” Arthur nodded finally, “alright, where can I find these people?”

“The higher ups won’t have gotten their hands dirty with this,” the King said, standing up, “they’ll have sent their versions of bounty hunters to claim him and take him to another world. My guess is Niston, just a jump away.”

“I’ll get right to it then,” Arthur nodded and stood up with him, moving towards the door.

“And Mister Morgan,” the King called after him, “I’m very sorry to hear about LDDS, they have done very good work for us in the past and I’m angry to see them go.”

“Yeah, me too,” Arthur grumbled and tried not to think about it.

[rectusdominus]

50 Questions Game

I was tagged by @lordfartwad thanks ily

1. what takes up too much of your time? panicking about things out of my control

2. what makes your day better? good music, sunshine, dancing/performing, working out and accomplishing something new

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? nothing happened today. eating toast was the best thing to happen today.

4. what fictional place would you like to go? Pandora would be cool? idk

5. are you good at giving advice? most of my advice is useless in a practical sense, so no

6. do you have any mental illness? yeah depression, there’s definitely an anxiety related problem in there somewhere

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no but I’ve woken up multiple times with my arm completely numb and immovable and had to manually wake it up again. not great.

8. what musician inspired you the most? Kurt Cobain which sounds cliche but it’s valid. Billie Joe Armstrong is also up there

9. have you ever fallen in love? I technically say no, but I fall in love with different things in a romantic sense every day

10. what’s your dream date? fun thing would be a concert or to the movies, dinner either at a place or outside somewhere, maybe we can just fuck around town at night and then sit outside somewhere until it’s late. I want spontaneous fun with friends or partners idk

11. what do others notice about you? don’t really know, probably how uncomfortable/unprepared I am in social situations

12. what is the annoying habit you have? there’s too much to unpack here

13. do you still talk to your first love? not applicable

14. how many ex’s do you have? not applicable

15. how many songs are on your playlist? I have too many playlists but my spotify library is maxed out at 10,000

16. what instruments can you play? I used to play clarinet but I can’t really play anything

17. who do you have the most pictures of? myself probably, I don’t have friends

18. where would you like to go before you die? Vegas again, Italy would be cool, but definitely Vegas

19. what is your zodiac? Leo

20. do you relate to it? now that I’m mentally stable? hell yeah

21. what is happiness to you? performing in front of a big crowd under lights, the thrill being on a big roller coaster on a hot summer day, watching the kids I coach succeed

22. are you going through anything right now? college stuff, getting a car/license, deciding on what I want to do in the next few years/where I want to be with myself

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? oh I’m not going down that road but thanks for asking

24. what’s your favourite store? Journey’s even tho I never buy anything there, I really should, the stuff is cool. I’m also really into sports apparel stores idk

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? I don’t necessarily “like” it but like.. it’s a safer option in some medical scenarios and also it’s none of my business if that’s something you want to do it’s better to have the option

26. do you keep a bucket list? not for my life, but I have stuff for the year or “by the time I’m this age” I take it as it comes

27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? The Menzingers, After the Party will always be The One

28. what do you want for your birthday? a tattoo or some piercings or a car or all of the above. NO WAIT I need to go skydiving bc I didn’t do it before I turned 20 so I have to do it while I’m 20

29. what are most peoples first impression of you? uhhh idk probably uncomfortable, seems kinda closed off so possibly bitchy, and idk she dresses kinda weird but I respect it

30. what age do you seem according to most people? younger than 20 I’ll tell you that

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? too close to my head but it’s so I hear the alarm/vibration to wake up

32. what word or phrase do you say the most? I say “dude”, “bro”, “yo”, “sweet”, “sick”, and I use the word “just” a lot in sentences for some reason. I sound like a 14 year old in 1992

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? idk 23-25? it would have to be like.. really worth it tho

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? 19, I think my limit would always be a year or two younger than me

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? they don’t really

36. what’s your favourite music genre? rock music

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? besides here in hell idk maybe New Zealand? I don’t like anywhere, we’re all fucked

38. what is your current favourite song? “Smile Like You Mean It” by The Killers

39. how long have you had this blog for? since early 2012 I think

40. what are you excited for? the future

41. are you a better talker or listener? listener, I can’t talk for shit

42. what is the last productive thing you did? try to make sure my college money is useful to me

43. what do you want for Christmas? a tattoo pls thanks

44. what class do you get the best grades in? apparently math? but really just the ones I care the most about

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? maybe an 8 just because I’m content but I do seriously wish I had something to do

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? being a choreographer/coaching, or working behind the scenes somewhere for something related to my major

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? when my parents got divorced when I was 9, but it was for the best so !! yay

48. at what age do you want to get married? when/if it’s the time but not until after I’m 30

49. what career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to blow glass or be a welder or something

50. what do you crave right now? adventure

I tag: @whatlomalikes @boodhirooks @solovalker @gayperry @kingfindekano @bicon-pappymcpoyle and anyone else idk

[deeeelightfuldee]

How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? oooo boy. ok lets see. 5 dogs, 9 cats?

Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? My mom doesn’t play anything. My dad is a drummer

Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? Yes. I’ve done it this week alone, just to try and calm down a little.

Can you crack crab legs without a tool? i have no idea. I don’t eat crab or anything in the sea for that matter. 

How many light sources are in the room you’re in? ooo good question. umm, eight? lol

What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? uhhh cream cheese.

Who’s your favorite director? i really don’t know, i don’t follow who directs what.

Bats: cute or gross? i mean, I don’t really care.

What was the last really intense pain you felt? lung pain during this whole nonsense.

Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? either. 

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I would love to, but I don’t see it happening with the travel restrictions these days.

What is your father's middle name? He doesn’t have one. he’s got a family name and the men who have it do not have a middle name. Where did your last kiss take place? uhhh I believe on my driveway 

Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? no clue, tbh. none that come to mind

Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? I don’t think ive ever done that. 

Which one of your family members are you closest to? My mom. one of my brothers and my sister.

Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? brand names just don’t matter to me, but if i was forced to choose i guess shoes?

Are you a good liar? no. not at all.

Are you proud of your parents? Im super proud of my mom.

Which is better: orange or grape soda? orange

Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? hot. so yummy.

Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? uhhhhhhh, idk who was here when I wasn’t in town, but prior to that I would imagine em/nathan

What color was the last swimsuit you wore? green 

Can you remember the last song you listened to? something from the toy story soundtrack lol. I’m binge watching all four today... I am using Kile’s disney+ for as long as he has it. I don’t think he watches it ever, so I imagine it’ll cut off soon.

Have you ever been dumped really harshly? once. it was horrible. every other time I’ve done the break up.

Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? heck’n no. unless im going into a pool maybe.

Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? yes

What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? he sexually assaulted me

Are you more of a phone or a computer person? my preference is laptop, 

Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? not currently.

If not, do you want one? yeah i’d like to have income.

Do any medical afflictions run in your family? yes. a few.

What’s your favorite Mexican dish? pork tacos from mama marias omggggggggggggg.

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes. bulls games, bears games

Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? of course.

What months were you and your siblings born in? january, july, august, august

What did you have for dinner last night? nicks.

Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? absolutely. to keep the shape n such.

Has your town ever flooded? uhhhhh to my knowledge once. it had rained SO heavily for like a week and the local ponds and lakes were over-flowing. a car literally floated down my road. it was so weird.

Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? when I was a kiddo yes. not often tho cus I didn’t like the smell, it was always sticky, and there were always bratty kids.

Have you ever taken a picture of snow? only every single day it snows

Do you cry easily? i notoriously do not cry in front of anyone. I am not a crier. when I lost Kile I cried for weeks.

Are you happy with where you live? I love it.

Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No

Do you hate the last person you kissed? no, i’m not a hateful person

What genre is your favorite movie? drama, romance, kids lol

Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. she picked me up from the airport.

Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? yes. I always seem to get the nice workers and they help so much.

When was the last time somebody hit on you? yesterday. blegh. 

Was the last person you met a male or female? hmm. Iiiiiii wanna say male. 

What brand is your underwear? I think the pair im wearing is hanes.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? usually green bean casserole.

Do you have a TV in your room? yup. watching TS1 right now.

Are any of your electronics charging right now? my phone. of course it was on 2 percent.

What was the last video game you played? acnh on the switch.

What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? that they will be there for me forever and always take care of me. no. 

Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google.

What was the last song you had on repeat? more by bobby darin

Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? froggy fresh

How many college degrees do you want? i have two. I’d like my masters and/or phd

Can you wink? yes but I dont think it looks good lol i have to get better

Do you own any jerseys? I did, I dont know if I have any still

Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? No. i wasn’t a dumb child and i certainly wouldnt do that as an adult

Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? not really no. 

Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? no. 

Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? im not into piercings on guys. tattoos are fine if they arent trashy

Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? all the time.

What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? kind of a creamy taupe-y color

Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? no

Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? i probably consume more fruits? but i love both. 

What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white

Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? no. sadly

What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? i cant even tell you the last time i went to a dollar store.

Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! I would have been murdered lol no i dont do that. it grosses me out.

When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? something on a lot of land, big front porch.

Where do you want to get married? probably a courthouse. maybe outdoors?

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? no. just mom.

What is your favorite childhood TV show? recess

Honestly, do you like school? no. i looooooooooooooooooooooooove it.

Last thing that made you cry? probably dejavu.

Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? sort of yes.

Last person you took a walk with? liza, em, dutch, della

Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? i think currently to be honest. 

Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? lol either mario or an old friend david

Does any part of your body hurt? yeah. my muscles have been weakening sooooooo bad it is so painful. 

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? Million bucks. noooooooooooo question.

Can you keep a secret? Sure.

Your favorite romantic movie? sleepless in seattle probs.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I loved it for the longest timeeeeeeee. i dont think ill love it as much this next year, but maybe by then ill have met someone new who knows.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? uuuuuhhh probably one of my nephews/niece

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? Some do, some dont. 

Do you celebrate 420? Nope. verrrrrry much not my thing.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? i think so lol

How do you eat Oreos? with milk. 

Do you wear your shoes in the house? sometimes. my preference is slippers. we usually wear something on our feet because gram needs to and so does mom.

Would you survive in prison? probably not, tbh. 

Ever been to Georgia? the state, yes. many times. the country? never.

Do you get your hair cut every month? gosh no. my dream is to get my hair done professionally again sometime, but its so daggum expensive.

Current relationship in detail. I am single. i will probably start casually dating soon. 

If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? i dont even know. I always imagined I’d go to kile. but who knows now.

List things you spend money on in an average week. i can go several weeks without spending.

Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. ooooooohhhhhh, id rather not.

Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? i am convinced bill would not give a fig whether or not im in a relationship. mom, however, would probably be EEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXtra cautious now.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? oh im sure. 

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? yes. even if we don’t talk anymore... theres just always a connection.

What board games are you good at? oooo, i’m very good at board games.

Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? quilting. its expensive and im not wanting to get it all cvid-y

Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? Immature.

Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? there are people who can pull it off, but it is notttttttttt my style.

Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? debt bill put my mom in. they don’t speak tho.

Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? the first couple years. 

If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? I don’t use the switch handheld, despite really wishing i could. the controllers are broken and beyond what I can afford. so I just use the tv dock.

Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? i’d pick it up 1000000000000000% , I just would be so curious what they would say.

If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? absolutely.

Are you afraid of falling in love? I am. I don’t ever again want to feel the way ive felt with my two heart breaks. 

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? yes, but the feeling is lessening. I responded to him for the first time in... idk how long. thinking he’d be eager to talk and be responsive. he wasn’t. it just pushes me further and further from feeling those feelings.

Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? no, i dont think so.

Did you get kissed last night? goodness no. 

Do you enjoy going through a carwash? I love it.

How did you get most of your scars? benny. by far.

Ever had to take an inkblot test? I have taken 2. One for a fellow student in a classroom who had to administer it for a project. another time in a psych class the prof asked me to for a demonstration

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep! the only time ive been grounded.

Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? no. I do not get physical in my anger. I withdraw. 

What/who woke you up this morning? Just me.

Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? My mom. dropping off ice water and benny.

What’s one of your locked text messages? I don’t even know if this phone locks messages tbh. I used to do that all the time on my t9 phones.

Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think maybe 1 time.

Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? Yes.

The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? I wouldn’t say alllllllll, but i do think inhibitions are lowered so it makes it easier

When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? messaging kile and realizing he isn’t interested in responding. makes me feel so dumb.

How about feeling disappointed in someone else? something a family member did to me this past week.

For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? ummm. lately it’s been jealousy. i dont like people taking what was mine. but i’m learning if they had access to it, that likely means that it is best to let it go. so maybe im now leaning towards envy of like beautiful relationships.

Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? uhhh, not unless its like in a joking, light-hearted manner.

Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? when im not sick... i vacuum, dust, do dishes, wipe counters and table, do laundry of others, disinfect, etc.

For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? I would say 51% comfort and 49% looking nice

Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? yes. lots of jealousy due to their feelings toward me.

Do you like Laffy Taffy? No. not my style of candy

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? manual.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? hardly.

Have you ever seen a walrus? absolutely!

Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? no. one time moms friends daughter (who was significantly older than me) lent hers to us... but there were no mixes of anything. so I didn’t know what to do with it.

Does your bathroom have a theme to it? nope.

From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? uhhhhhhhh 3 if you dont include the garage door.

Are there a lot of trees in your yard? i wouldn’t say a lot. I wish.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? treating me like crap cuts down my interest like immediately.

Have a best friend? meh.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? no.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? yes. I dont need to concern them or worry them.

Does anyone hate you? kiles ex(?) i am sure does.

What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? hm. i dont really have any.

Do you remember important dates? yes. almost always.

What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? “what if we could put the world on hold and finally meet somewhere inside of the world? I would meet you... would you meet me?”

Who gives the best advice? mom

Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) It varies. depends on who I think about.

What type of cake did you last eat? graduation cake. 

How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? I have like 4 casual friends that are, but my closest friends are all straight.

What’s your favorite type of sandwich? buona chicken one. bless it.

When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? tonight. I said maybe once this quarantine business is over.

Do you like The Offspring? I know a couple of songs but I definitely can’t call myself a fan. << same

One pillow or two? 12

Do you like Mad Libs? not really no.

Are you suicidal? no. I mean there are moments where I think wow, i dont want to be here. but not like let me put together a plan.

Where do your grandparents live? my fathers parents were killed by a drunk driver bout ten years ago. My mothers father passed away maybe 12 years ago. My gram is fine and lives in the room down the hall. 

Do you cut yourself? not purposely

What is your pet’s name? benny and lottie.

Have you ever been to Canada? not yet.

Aren’t babies overrated? no, no. theyre expensive af though.

Have a built-in pool in your backyard? i wish more than anything but no.

Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? maybe once or twice. I one time had a guy win me an animal at a carnival and i found that sooooooooooooooooo attractive.

Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? woops. yes. lol

Ever been to a circus? i think when i was really little.

Ever shot animals? I have not. i couldn’t. 

Do you consider yourself intelligent? I do. It is something I have some confidence in.

Have you ever run away from home? when my dad was abusive, yes. 

Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? faith, family, friends, school, relationships (only cus im not in one)

What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? my faith.

What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? my degrees and honors.

Are you satisfied with your body image? no. I am honored to have a body that is capable of all that it is.. that has been my “home” all these years. the body that still breathes life every day, thats all incredible. I dislike having the fat that I do, as I worry it could be off putting to others. but then I realize im fine being single, so then my body imagine is fine. its a weird cycle.

Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? yes. when I worked and a customer didnt like a policy or whatnot.

Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? never to my knowledge have I taken advantage of someone else seriously. I have been VERY seriously taken advantage of.

Have you ever been seriously ill? trying to get over it now tbh

Have you ever befriended a former enemy? uhhhh, not that I know of. I tend to be friendly to everyone, but I can’t think of a situation where it was an enemy.

If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I do pray for others quite often. it’s important to me. I sometimes will see strangers and immediately start praying over them. I actually almost started my GRE late because I was praying over every person I saw in the room lol.

Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? no. not to my knowledge anyway.

Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? yes! like 8 miles lol. I have not. 

When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? this past week.

Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? shes everyones favorite. shes kind, funny, sarcastic, down-to-earth, warm.

Who have you been talking to the most today? mom lol

Are you nosy? I think it could be perceived as nosy but I love to make people feel ridiculously special. So I will sit and ask questions just to get them talking about themselves. If I recognize the personal questions are not working, I’ll keep it totally light.

What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? i really dont know.

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? if we consider kile an ex, it would probably be that he feels overwhelmed and feels alone because he doesnt have me or his ex anymore. :(

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? ooooo thats hard to narrow down.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? no. everyone comments on how they love when it turns wheezy.

[letsimportanttreecollection-blog]

health insurance quotes indiana

"health insurance quotes indiana

health insurance quotes indiana

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Do you have to have insurance in you're 16 and only have a permit?

I'm 16 right now and i live in California. I really want to start the process of getting my license but my mother says we can't afford insurance for me. So I was wondering, do you have to have insurance even if you just have a permit?""

How should I insure myself?

ok so i've sold my car and now the only car i will have access to is my partners. so do i arrange my own insurance, or do i add myself to her policy, or should i now add her to mine? I have full no claims she has 4 or 5 years. I am 36, she is 27. I have 2 months left on my current policy and 2 installments of 35 to pay, or if i cancel now pay 55. her renewal date is november. any help?""

Galo Auto & Home Insurance.com?

need to find a cheaper auto & home insurance before july 09 State Farm is droping home ins.? can you please hellp me?

Where can i get cheap insurance?

low rates? ???

Whats the minimum car insurance required in california?

Whats the minimum car insurance required in california?

Car Insurance Coverage?

My husband and I each have our own cars. We are covered by the same insurance company (multi care policy). My car is a 1998 in excellent condition, however due to its age I dropped the collision. MY husbands car is a 2011 with full coverage. We were told by a friend (not the insurance compny) that if my husband is driving my car and involved in an auto accident that any repairs would be covered under his insurance policy since he has full coverage. Is this correct?""

How much will my insurance go up after a claim?

i was in a crash it was my fault i went into the back of another car my van was fine but the other guys car was damaged at the back it is too damaged to pay out of my own pocket so understandably he is claiming off my insurance. i have a full licence, since i started driving 8 years ago i have no claim my insurance is fully comp and i pay 330 euro each year. after this claim does anyone no how much roughly will my insurance go up next year . any advice would be greatly appreciated as i am very worried.""

I am looking for a srs surgeon who accepts insurance?

my employer now pays for surgery but i cant fing a surgeon who accepts insurance. any ideas?

What happens after you buy car insurance online?

Just curious as I'm planning on buying a years insurance for the first time in my life (I'm 17) from the post office website. Either that or could I pay at my local post office branch? I'm so close to getting my own car and then insuring it seems so simple that every time I think of it I start to physically shake!!! Thanks!

How much would it cost to get insurance for this type of business?

Let's say I want to start a small small business where I essentially find companies who are looking for window cleaning and then I find sub contractors to do the work and I get paid the difference between the amount I get from the company and the amount I pay to the sub for doing the work. How much would it cost to get insurance on this type of business in California? Also what type of insurance would I need? Also I wouldn't have any employees. Just a one man operation.

""A life insurance company sells a $250,000 1-year term life insurance policy to a 20-year-old female?""

for $200. According to the National Vital Statistics Report. 56(9), the probability that the female survives the year is 0.999544. Compute and interpret the expected value of this policy to the insurance company - I also have to find the probability that the company has to pay the female Im suppose to get .000456 but don't know how to get this?""

Which is better hmo or ppo insurance?

Which is better hmo or ppo insurance?

How much does motorcycle insurance cost for a teen?

I am currently 15 , next year i will get my liscence and buy a Kawasaki Ninja 250R 2010. I live in Quebec, and I really need an answer, please not just a go get a quote.. just give me a number please!""

Switching car insurance?

I am thinking of switching to Esurance, it's about $25 a month cheaper than my current insurance. Anyone have any experience or knowledge of Esurance? How hard is it to switch?""

AUTO INSURANCE FOR YOUNG DRIVERS?

I've been driving since about last summer, and i've tried looking for some auto insurance inexpensive something i can afford, no luck so far, i heard there is a government sponsored insurance that can help people out so they wont be driving around without insurance? is this true? or does anyone know cheap auto insurance, im a good driver its just check points really scare me when im out during the weekends. thanks!""

Health Insurance for pregnant women?

I was laid off from my job and I have been unable to find a new job, my cobra insurance is about to run out and I am looking for affordable insurance for pregnant woman. I do not qualify for medicaid because my husband does work but insurance is not offered through his employer. Does anyone know of a company that has a plan that will cover pregnancy and after?""

Wats the cheapest insurance in oklahoma?

Wats the cheapest insurance in oklahoma?

Auto insurance question.?

I was in an accident and my auto insurance has a limit of 5000 medical. I went over the $5000 medical bills. Will my private health insurance cover the overage?

Can a family friend put me on their car insurance?

So i live in the state of california. I have had my learners permit for more than six months now. I want to get my drivers license but due to the economic crisis my parents aren't able to pay every month to have me on their car insurance. A family friend has offered to put me on their car insurance, but what my parents want to know is if that is legal in the state of california or do I HAVE to be insured by my parents?""

Where can i find good health insurance in san francisco?

Where can i find good health insurance in san francisco?

Insurance on a Audi R8?

Well my plan is to get a Audi R8 with 5 years of driving this year, but how much would insurance be if i buy the car used with say 20,000 miles on it and the year is 2009, and if possible what would the insurance on a 2011Audi R8 new ? Seriously i just want to know i dont need to hear your if you ask u cant afford it and what not, so be mature, and just answer it if not f**k off.""

Where can I get the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

I just bought a bike and haven't ridden in years so don't know where to start and I live in Pennsylvania if that's any help. Thanks

How much would a 16 year old boy pay for car insurance?

I am not 16 yet, but I want to get a Chevy Camaro. I live in PA, and am wondering how much car insurance would cost me a year with out wrecks, tickets, etc. I went to chevy.com and built my own Camaro, and it cost me about $25,000 with the specs, and colors I want.""

Do i need an auto insurance to drive a motorcycle? how much that would be if it is yes? higher than auto insu?

I think i need to know before i buy a bike that whether i would pay more $ on my insurance if there is 1 or would it be cheaper than an auto insurance, like car insurances?Ooh, i am an new driver so how much would it be?""

Question About Car Insurance/Learner's Permit?

Okay, I am a 23 (soon to be 24) year old male, I have never had a license or a car, and just recently I received my permit through the DMV, I have not driven too many times on this permit, but I am about to purchase a used car from a friend of mine and get the title and everything I need transferred over to my name. I have yet to achieve my license and am still driving on my permit to get accustomed and comfortable behind the wheel before I take the driver's test with a worker at the DMV. My question is this tho, I live at home atm, and my family all has cars/car insurance. And I am not on any of their plans yet nor do I have my own coverage. I am new to this whole scene and such, and I wanted to know with me purchasing a used car from a friend with title and all and this car being in my name, seeing as I am not a licensed vehicle owner yet, and only have my permit, I cannot as far as I know apply for insurance until I achieve my license, so I wanted to ask will my family simply be able to add me/my car to their plan until I get my license? Or how will this work? As I stated I am totally new, but when its done I will have a paid for in full car (my first) all the titles and information transferred to me in my name, and the only thing I am missing is insurance and I am wondering how this will work seeing as I am over 21, have a permit and have my own car? My family drive on State Farm in IL. Any help on clearing up this matter will be greatly appreciated, thank you in advance =).""

health insurance quotes indiana

health insurance quotes indiana

How do I get secondary health insurance?

I'm a full time graduate student currently receiving health insurance through my parents. However, my coverage sucks and I would like to purchase secondary insurance. I looked through all the different plans on einsurance.com (united, humana atena, etc), but when I called they told me that I can't purchase it when I already have insurance. I did some searches for secondary health insurance, but I can't find companies specifically for secondary insurance. It seems that I should be able to purchase any type of insurance I want and that the secondary company should pick up some of what my primary doesn't. Right?""

""Does your auto insurance rate when you turn 18 years old, any cheaper?""

Hey everybody, I'll be turning 18 in a couple of months. I live in Georgia, and drive a 2002 Lexus RX 300, which is a mid-size SUV. I am not looking for a specific quote. I got my license late because I had to do drivers ed, and other reasons(non legal)...well the thing is, I have only had my license for a few months and haven't bought insurance. I don't know if I should wait until I am 18 to buy it. Is insurance a lot cheaper once your 18 as opposed to 17 or so? Please only answer if you know what your talking about. THANKS a lot for the help.. Sincerely, Zain Dhanani""

My daughter is 17 next week....where can I get cheap car insurance from? I want to add her on to my policy?

She will be an additional driver. My existing insurer has refused because of her age and inexperience.

""In California, how can you find out if someone has homeownners insurance, and who there carrier is?""

In California, how can you find out if someone has homeownners insurance, and who there carrier is?""

How much insurance for a Ninja 250r?

I'm 16 and i'm thinking of getting a Ninja 250r for commuting purposes and just riding around to school and what not. I have a friend that is going to upgrade to a new bike soon so he will give me his bike but I was wondering how much the insurance is for the Ninja 250, I have Geico and was going to do all the free quotes thing but I was way to lazy finding out the ID number and stuff so I was wondering for anyone out there with a 250r, how much are you paying every year? Thanks! :D""

""I don't have the car yet, but what am I looking at for insurance?""

I'm in a bad living situation and I'm slowly trying to get out....I make minimum wage and I'm trying to finance a vehicle...I have no money to put down, and the little credit I did have was gone a long time ago due to unpaid medical bills.... I'm also trying to put money towards my rent and other bills, so I can't afford much..... I have no credit cards or expired loans, and don't want any...so please don't recommend any..... I figure with taking $80 out of every pay check I can afford a payment of $320 a month....Also taking 30 out of the same pay check to make payments of up to $120 towards insurance..... Is this too much? This is the first time I'm paying insurance on a vehicle, I'm also living on my own for the first time as well..... My last ticket was almost 7 years ago...I'm a safe driver...what kind of prices am I looking at? I know I can go to specific sites and plug in my information....but I don't have the vehicle yet and I'm trying to budget for the purchase....I'm planning on getting a small reliable car, nothing flashy..... Can anyone guesstimate a price for me? Am i figuring too high?""

Why doesn't Obama want people to be able to get health insurance from other states?

wouldn't this create more competition in the insurance business?

Can an insurance company cancel the insurance after they found out that there is something wrong?

hi! we just bought a house and got insurances but then after a month in our new house, we got a notice from the insurance saying that our insurance will be cancelled by the next month coz they found out in the inspection that there is a rott on the garage roof and told us to fix it first then they will continue our insurance?? i just wanna know if they can do that or if that is allowed to cancel our insurance after they accepted us?? what can we do ?""

""After 7 years out of country, why the high car insurance rate?""

Seven years ago, I got a job working overseas. I sold my car here in the US before I left. Now I have returned to the US to live and I bought a car. I was shocked at the insurance rate - the cheapest I could find for a 2013 Ford Fiesta was $1112 for six months of coverage! I asked the agent why the rate was so sky high. Well, because the assumption is that you have been driving here in the US as an uninsured motorist for the past seven years . I tried to show proof that I was living overseas for those seven years, and that I didn't have any vehicle to insure in the US. But my explanation fell on deaf ears. Is there any way to explain my situation to Safeco (the insurance company)?""

""Speeding ticket, will it raise my insurance in texas?""

hey, I got a speeding ticket a few days ago and would like to take the defensive driving class instead, if the judge will let me. i really dont want to let my dad know about it and i am willing to pay all of it, i just dont want to have to deal with my dad. Will my insurance go up even if i do the defensive driving class? Thanks!""

Question with car insurance?

Okay so we have two cars. One 1992 buick and a 2006 civic coupe. I usually drive the coup and my name was on the insurance for it, but recently my parents swapped insurance to save money but it involved switching my name to the buick and their name onto the civic. They tell me i can't drive the civic anymore b/c if i get into an accident then it won't be covered since it's under their name and not mine. Is this really true? I thought that as long as the car is insured it's covered?""

Is it legal for me to drive my friends car with my own insurance?

So my friend and I bought a car, however he does not have insurance yet, and I have comprehensive, liability and theft insurance for my own vehicle which is a Honda, now while I use his car, would it be legal for me to drive the car using my own insurance card? I have a notarized letter from my friend that I am allowed to use the car.""

16 year old girl car insurance?

When I get my license, my parents will be putting me on my own plan and will be having a 1995 Geo Tracker in my own name. On average, how much would it cost a month to get the insurance I need? I'm hoping to be getting $450 a month. My cumilative GPA is a 3.2 I don't know what other information would be helpful.""

California auto car insurance question?

I own three cars and I want to purchase auto insurance for all three of them. But my question is, if I plan on keeping two cars at my residence, and the third one garaged at another residence (at my father's address). Is that legal to do so or I must have all three cars parked at my residence? Will the third car be exempt from my insurance policy if I decide not to garage it at my address?""

Insurance money or insurance fraud?

My dad told me a story about his boss a long time ago about how his wife survived cancer, and incurred 1million dollars in bills. the company has a health insurance that covers his entire family, but he also was covered by another health insurer...be it his or possibly his wifes. After the whole ordeal he paid off all the bills and had received an extra 1Million from insurance.... Was this legal? ( He was paying for both insurances ..knowingly or possibly not )""

Has anyone used e-suarance for a car insurance quote. I called them a few hours ago & they gave me a good...?

quote but they Hadn't run my driving record yet. And they said they can use ur credit report but, Otha than seeing if u hav paid ur car insurance/bills on tym I Don't see Why they need That info, otha car insurance companies I called Didn't want to check my credit history & Every check on ur credit report can make ur credit score lower & my credit's not that gud rite now tho I pay my utilities, rent, my current credit card & my cell bill on tym & my auto insurance in the past was always paid on tym. (I haven't had car insurance for 3 1/2 yrs cuz I haven't had a car.) Also, they were telling me if I call back the quote mite not stay the same cuz I was tryin 2 get the quote number & No Other insurance companies said that, the otha 1's gave me a quote # so I can deal wit the quote later if I decided 2 go wit them. E-suarance (was tryin 2 get me 2 put a down payment down today & then the insurance would kick in automatically but I told them I want to pay for 6 months at once & I don't hav the money now cuz I hav 2 deposit it in the bank tomorrow, it's a postal money order & will clear Tues. & I Don't Need the insurance 'til Tues. &, then I'll need proof of insurance Tues. to take 2 the DMV wit the papers from the dealer 2 register the car & get the license plates. E-saurance said they could send an e-mail upon payment that I could use 2 show proof of insurance at the DMV or if I Can't print that out I could download their app & show them my proof of insurance thru their app. But that sounded fishy 2 me. Also the guy on the phone from e-suarance wanted a credit card # 2 run my driving record but I was like None of the Otha car insurance companies needed that 2 run my driving record. I Don't want 2 get charged for them 2 run my driving record or 4 any Otha charges. Which is making me suspicious now of the low rate or of paying by credit card ova the fone wit them. Since they're backed by Allstate can I go 2 an Allstate office 2 pay cash & get proof of insurance?""

Car insurances how they rate?

different car insurances how they compare

""Buying new car over weekend, But need insurance?""

Ok so I am most likely buying a used car tomorrow. This will be my first car as I am 16 and need something to drive to my job yada yada yada. Anyway, tomorrows a Saturday and my insurance company is closed and my parents need to add me to their policy. Since we are not trading in a car, we dont have a policy to carry over to the new one which I know some insurance companies do. Also, I have Farmers insurance so I am not sure what their policies are over this sorta thing. Any help is appreciated. Especially if you have farmers insurance or have had this kind of problem with them.""

Can my daughter be put on my insurance?

My daughter is 21 and she has no insurance. She is a full time college student and does not work. Can I put her on my insurance through my work? And what are the requirements?

How to get different types of insurance?

Dental, health, medical, etc. Im graduating HS and my parents are taking me off there's. They say it's time to grow up and support myself. I fully understand. And I have no complaints. So that's why I'm asking. I just got a job, so would that help?? I'm taking a break from school (college) for a couple years.""

Where can i get health insurance?

i've been on the pc for about two hours now looking for health coverage that does not cost me an arm and a leg and a foot. This is gonna sound like a personal ad, but i dont care,lol I am 20 and i just finished getting my aa this past december, (so i am no longer a college student), i live on my own, my parents do not supplement my income in any way(and they no longer want me on their coverage so thats a no). i have no children, i make about 30,000 (two partime jobs, niether give health coverage for part time employees) I am female, i've never smoked anything, (ciggarette, marijuana, etc) i work out 5 times a weeks( about 140lbs, 5'3), and most of all i live in that crap bowl known as new york. I need some type type of vision dental, medical, etc coverage that is affordable, im not looking for free, but something i can afford (around 0-$75 a month if possible), please help""

HOW CAN I CLAIM THE car INSURANCE to REMPLACE MY CAR?

I had a car accident and my car insurance covering third party only and them found me that was my fault I need to know how can I claim if there is any dealing, thank you""

""What is the cheapest car insurance in Toronto, Canada for a female student w/out any prior auto insurance?

I am 22 years old and have never had auto insurance b4. I do have the driver's certificate and currently have a G2. The basic coverage is fine as I will not be getting a new car. I'll be getting a 1998-2001 car not sure of the modell yet.

What insurance company do cheap American car insurance for young drivers?

I'm 19 years old and I'm considering getting a 1985 Ford Mustang 5L V8 in England. The question is who is going to insure me at a reasonable price? I'm not looking at using the car everyday, I probably wont put 4k miles on the clock in a year. Please, can anyone help me?""

What is the difference between Investment life Insurance and Life risk insurance?

What are the products included under the category Investment life Insurance and Life risk insurance?

health insurance quotes indiana

health insurance quotes indiana

What is the best way to get cheap car insurance for young drivers in the UK?

How come when I look at comparison sites such as confused.com they quote something like 10K for a 17 year old male that has pased. I know that a better way is to add your parents as the main driver and yourself as the additional however, the issue is that non of my parents drive. So what would be the best way to get a reasonable car insurance for a 17 year old then?""

What is an insurance quote?

people say low insurance quote .... what is it. how does it work and how does the whole car insurance thing work what if i buy a $5000 car ... how much would i be spending every month including tax, insurance> EXCLUDE GAS""

""Totaled my car, What will insurance do?""

Yesterday I totaled my 2000 ZX3 and almost died, luckily my roof didn't completely cave in as i slid in the ditch after i flipped over, SO my engine and transmission isn't damaged. I wanna save some movie and just buy a car like mine with a blown engine and then switch engines and get the keep the rest of the insurance payout. I already found the possible car BUT i'm not sure if the insurance company will let me keep my car after its declared totaled? The car i found is for only 500 dollars and my dad is a mechanic, so i really need 2 know quick""

Can my daughter be put on my insurance?

My daughter is 21 and she has no insurance. She is a full time college student and does not work. Can I put her on my insurance through my work? And what are the requirements?

What will the average insurance payment be for my BMW?

Ever since I was little I've always wanted a BMW. Well now since I'm turning 16 in the fall I have the option of getting a 2004 BMW 5 Series 545i for $9,000. It's in extremely good condition and I just love it. I will be making around $200-250 a month and my monthly payment will be about $106 to the bank till my senior year in college ( yes that's 84 months but it's in good condition so it's worth it) and I was just wondering if any one had a idea how much insurance would cost? I really want to get this car but I won't if I'm not able to pay a payment and insurance at the same time due to other small bills i have. Thanks""

Car insurance for girls?

I am 18 and looking at starting my driving lessons and buying a car, BUT insurance is so expensive for a first time driver. Does anyone know what the cheapest car will be for me to insure,?? Thanks.""

Do illegal immigrants get health insurance?

What insurance and how?

I need affordable pet insurance for my dog any suggestions. I cant pay more than 20 monthly right now?

I need affordable pet insurance for my dog any suggestions. I cant pay more than 20 monthly right now?

What are the best supplemental insurance companies?

I am looking for quality, honest supplemental insurance companies. I am looking for a company who has good customer service and good products. A company who does the right thing and treats their policyholders well.""

How much will insurance cost after first dui offense?

I got my first dui for parking my mom's car for her(my intentions weren't to drive home drunk at all... just back 10 feet.) and I use to have insurance but canceled it when ...show more

Need cheap car insurance in NY?

Hi I'm in need of low car insurance in NY. I'm 22 female car is a 98 dodge caravan. Please i tried all those random websites that shows you insurance. I need names of insurance please =]

Credit scores taking a hit from homeowners insurance checks?

Hubby and I called around checking what rates would be for homeowners insurance, but I got a little ahead of myself, seeing that our closing date isn't until August! I called about 4 places, they all ran our credit and said it will be a light hit on the credit scores... Well how much of a hit will our credit scores take?? The bank wants our credit scores updated since them, since we want that late August closing date.. Anyone know how much of a hit it will be?""

I have cancelled my car insurance?

I have cancelled my car insurance for my old car , because I have bought a new car . . . Now I am waiting to sell it , but I don't know where I should keep it . . Is there any problems if I'll leave in front of my house in the car park without a insurance ? Thank You""

I have a a term life insurance calculator?

I have a term life insurance calculator, i want to place the link in to other sites which are relevant to term life insurance. Can any one please suggest me list of those sites which are relevant to term life insurance or any article or blogs site which belongs to an individual person and is relevant to life insurance. Please provide me only US site. thanks""

UK- Can you help me find cheaper car insurance?

I currently own classic mini and after 6 months of driving it i want something more reliable. I didn't earn any no claims bonus on the mini as it was on a classic car policy, which I paid 900 a year third party, fire and theft. I want to get a 1.3 toyota yaris but cheapest insurance I have found is 5500! I will be the main driver of it and no i will not front it (go as named when im actually main driver). Which companies are best for young people. I don't want to pay more than around 2000 a year on the insurance. I know there are many factors that affect insurance but I'm looking for companies with good deals/lowest premiums and/or general tips to reducing the premiums. I live in the UK by the way.""

Health Insurance/Student emergency card help!?

I'm currently filling out a Student Emergency Information Card and I'm stuck on the Health Insurance portion... For the portion, it only says Insurance #, I have HealthNet but I don't know whether to write the group number or the subscriber number.. I'm kind of sure it's the subscriber one, but I need some assurance. Also, it asks for Medi-Cal straight after that with Yes/No.. How do I know if it's medi-cal or not?""

""My car has been tranferred name, if I still drive the car, do I need to buy new car insurance?""

I am existing car owner, due to financial problem, I transfer my car to my brother's name. However, I still drive the car, would I need to buy new car insurance for myself, or I can still using existing one""

Does medical Insurance transfer to a different state?

I have Kaiser Permante for medical insurance. It is very possible that I will move from California to Florida next January. How will my insurance switch? I heard there is no Kaiser there. Is there an alternative company? How can I find this out if I can't find out here?

Good insurance companies..I want to switch my car insurance..I need advice?

I have my auto insurance with Allstate and they're just ripping me off. They're always bringing up the prices yearly and I want to know where I can get a better offer. My car is a 2004 Elantra and they want to charge me 1 369 $ from March 4th to January 24th and that's just too much. I know there must be a better insurance company out there. Which ones and can I get a quote online ?

Can my apartment management include premiums of renters insurance on my rent ?

The complex I live in requires that each tenant have renters insurance because the management suffered losses from damages as a result of the tenants' negligence. I want to have the freedom to choose the company that I buy it from -- but they want to increase my rent in order to cover for the premiums. The management company in turn buys a policy for each unit. Can they do that ? I live in California.

What's a good health insurance option for a 22 yr. old male?

My boyfriend just lost his coverage under his parents policy and needs insurance that's pretty affordable but still covers things such as: -emergencies (of course!) -vaccinations -yearly doctor visits/sport physicals Any recommendations are welcome! Thanks!

How much should insurance for a 20 year old male driving an 81 corolla cost. no tickets at all?

How much should insurance for a 20 year old male driving an 81 corolla cost. no tickets at all?

Insurance for first time male driver (16 years old almost 17)?

I'm two months away from being 17 and I'm looking at getting a 2001 E46 BMW 325i. Does anyone have a guesstimate or actual cost to insure myself? Would there be anyway I could insure myself under my parents name to lessen the price?

Can I register and insure a car with a suspended license?in tampa Florida?

Can I register and insure a car with a suspended license?in tampa Florida?

HEALTH INSURANCE FOR INFERITILITY?

I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.""

health insurance quotes indiana

health insurance quotes indiana

Insurance in college?

My mom tells me that you have to go to college directly after high school in order to stay on your parents' insurance plan or you get taken off and have to work full-time to get insurance. However, my question is if you get a job after high school and get insurance for yourself and then decide to go back to school a year later can you get back on their plan.""

Im pregnant and need insurance. Is there affordable prenatal insurance besides medicaid?

Medicaid denied me because I make 25 cents more than the allowed amount. I am 4 months pregnant and have not had any prenatal care due to lack of insurance and fighting with medicaid. Is there AFFORDABLE coverage that anyone knows about?

Can I wait to pay car insurance?

I recently bought a car, but I'm not legal to drive it alone until February (I bought the car NOW because it was an amazing deal and didn't want to miss an opportunity like this) Can I wait to pay for insurance until I get my license (in February) or is that illegal?""

How much does car insurance cost for a 17 year old?

I'm currently 17 with and just got my license a couple of weeks ago, i was wondering how much does the insurance cost annually for a 17 year old like me? Thanks for your help!""

Same insurance company but different rates?

Is it true same insurance company but different agent offers different rates?

My son is driving his grandmother's car without insurance?

My son's grandmother allows him to take her car whenever he would like. He has no insurance and drives the car all over the place. I have told him to stop driving it but I have no control over her car or the keys. I have warned them both several times that this will get them both in trouble. How can I stop them from doing this and is there a way I can turn him in to learn his lesson? If he gets in an accident or gets caught for this, who will have to pay for this? Me or him and his granmother? I do not want to be responsible for his ignorant behavior""

Would insurance on a corvette be too expensive for someone 19 years old?

I am 17 now, but in a couple years I will have enough money to buy an older corvette. I am looking at either a C5 corvette (97-04) or a C3 corvette (68-82). I am leaning more toward the C5 but since it's a newer car, I would think the insurance would be more expensive, even though the car might only cost 12 grand. The C3 would be cheaper in price, and i heard insurance is really cheap for classic cars too. So, in your opinion what do you think?""

Vehicle with no insurance MINNESOTA?

My girlfriend got pulled over tonight after having a brand new car for two days after selling her first car she drove for two and a half years, her mother apparently told her that she had 7 days to get insurance so sure enough we got cited for no insurance. I guess I was curious to know if liability covers her driving a vehicle without insurance? It probably doesn't but I know there is a form of insurance that does. If this is going to slide downhill I would also like to know some advice you have to word it nicely to a judge to help avoid a 30 day license suspension. I heard earlier tonight that in mn it's mandatory but I'm hoping not. Thanks for your help and time!""

Just wondering if there is any kind of insurance coverage for the victims of the tsunami?

It is a natural disaster. I know that in California there is earthquake insurance but very expensive. Do the Japanese have any kind of insurance protection? I'm sure there will be some kind of aid from the government but what about their losses? Thankful to be alive, I'm sure.""

Quad insurance abd bike insurance ?

Jw if I get a 125 or 250 quad if the insurance will be similar to a bike or car same with tax Cheers

How much will motorycycle insurance be for a 17 year old?

im getting a 487cc Suzuki gs500f, how much do you think insurance is going to be? also how can i lower the cost of insurance, will it lower when i turn 18? im taking the msf course and getting it under my family plan if possible thx""

""Is it possible to get insulin for a type 1 diabetic with no insurance, medicare or medicaid?""

My fiance has type 1 diabetes. He gets food stamps, but doesn't qualify for SSI for some reason. He's only 26. I am the only one working, getting minimum wage, and little hours. We can't afford to pay a doctor $100 just for them to tell him he has what he knows what he has, and to get a prescription that cost twice that. It just seems like a vicious cycle we cant get out of.""

Switching insurance companies to get the car fixed?

The accident was not at my fault. Had a police report. Contacted both insurance companies. Got a rental car and check ($1500) from other party's insurance company (NJ Skylands) as decided to go through them. Brought the car to body shop and found out NJ Skylands wants to cheat and pay less. So I called my insurance company (State Farm) and reopened the claim to go through them. State Farm took deductible and issued a check for $1788. Body shop wants to get $2788 for repair. Can I still use that check for $1500 to cover the rest of expanses?

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT WITH THIS (CAR INSURANCE)?

i'm a learner driver with my 1st car that im covering with 3rd party fire & theft since i'm not able to go out alone either my partner or dad will be with me while i drive but just say say for whatever reason they had to take over would they be covered to drive my car even though neither would be a named driver on my policy? They both have fully comp insurance for their own cars does this cover them?

Will I be able to get health insurance to cover this?

I am about to graduate from college and have not been covered by insurance regularly in many years, for a short time I was on a California county-supported low-income type of insurance program but it automatically runs out every few months if you don't reapply evidently... Anyways, I'm about to graduate and move back to Oregon. I have some kind of hip/tendon injury that I need to go to the doctor for and have checked out...but because I don't have insurance, and this is an old injury already, is there any way I'm going to find health insurance to help me pay for this? Or am I just completely screwed and destined to limp around for the rest of my life??? because there's no forseeable way that I'll be able to afford my own health care any time soon, I'll be paying off my student loans for the next few years. I also doubt that I will be able to find a job that offers health coverage in my field so that's not looking very likely either.""

Car Insurance?

how much car insurance do i pay for a 6000 dollar car

Buying insurance right after an accident?

Just a question, and I don't want assumptions that I'm the person in the scenario because I'm not and this has just been a burning question of mine for a long time. Ok, so someone gets into an accident and buys insurance right after. The thing is that the insurance papers will have the DATE it took effect, not the TIME it took effect. So in all respects, it was active on the day the accident happened and the person in question has to go to court to provide proof of insurance, in which the judge will see that it took effect on the day the accident happened, so the question remains, is this person covered?""

Hawaii: Which Car insurance company do you like in Hawaii?

I plan moving to Hawaii. Which car insurance company do you like? Why? Also, which company don't you like? Why?""

On average what does a automotive insurance adjuster/or a body shop estimator make annually?

On average what does a automotive insurance adjuster/or a body shop estimator make annually?

How much do you pay for car insurance?

These quotes are OUTRAGEOUS!

What is select life insurance?

My insurance agent wants me to update my insurance plan with select life insurance. They explained select life insurance to me, but I want someone who is not trying to sell it to me to explain it to me. So could someone reexplain select life insurance so that I know the pros and cons?""

Which car Insurance do you recommend?

The cheapest, but also good at the same time.""

Affordable car insurance for poor driving record?

About a year ago when I was in college I got cited for driving without insurance twice. Two years ago I have had my license suspended for minor traffic offenses. Recently, I decided to take a safe driver's course because when I originally started driving nobody ever taught me how. I am not required to have sr-22 insurance but I am wondering if that would be better than paying $450 which I am paying for Gieco. I am looking for someone in a SIMILAR situation or has USEFUL answers. If your answer is move to different state , you just have to deal with it , or shop around that doesn't help me.""

Where can i find a free insurance company that won't rap me off?

i need a website that i can get a insurance for medical and dental. where can i go

Car Insurance for Young Driver (UK)?

Hi, I'll get straight to the point, I'm 17 almost 18 and am looking 2 buy my 1st car. I live a upper class life, and when it comes down to cars i do get to travel in in style. e.g. my dad drives a Jaguar S-Type, my mother a brand new 2008 Land Rover Freeland, and i do know people with Bentley's and this one guy i know will take me out for a drive in his Aston Martin Vanquish. I do like to stick out from a crowd and this is a amazing opportunity to do so at college. My 1st car is definitely goin on my dads policy, and by then i will have my full license. I have seen Jaguar XJ's for sale which i can afford, but my greatest question is how much would the insurance be. If someone who is a young driver who drives a Jaguar or something similer could give me a rough guess to how much insurance wud be?, i wud be greatfull or someone who has insured a young driver on there Jaguar?.""

health insurance quotes indiana

health insurance quotes indiana

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/audi-insurance-contact-alexander-moreno/"

[vroenis]

The 2019 Charlie’s Angels Reboot Was A Good Project & Deserved More Respect From Hollywood

We’ve just finished watching the film and there was a lot both J and I really enjoyed about it. We’re critical of media and art in different ways and I certainly don’t speak for them, as for me, oddly I’m lenient in ways that they probably aren’t when it comes to production and culture. I don’t have to dive too deeply into the cultural response to this picture to know how it went down, I’ve come into contact with just enough of it to have a clear understanding of the popular digest. The response is not at all unexpected, it’s just uninformed.

I feel that the 2019 (year of publishing) Charlie’s Angels reboot was a good project with a wonderful spirit. Elizabeth Banks’ aims were clearly evident in the final product, however it may have been shaped along the way, and that it was under-served in the production process likely from the very beginning.

This casting is fantastic.

I do wish there were better cast-ensemble promos for me to lift from the internet and wonder whether that’s another telltale sign of production or whether the heat has just faded since release and they’ve just dropped out of the archives but I struggled to find well composed images.

The first short sizzle-teaser I ever saw for the film, I thought was quite good. Neckbeards and mouthbreathers won’t have paused for a second thought before launching hate for the project - anything in the most vague proximity of feminism or empowerment of women, or even simply just not being centred around men - will be enough to bring snide internet snark by the truckload. It remains interesting that men continue to struggle to live in a world where there can be things that also exist that are not for them, they cannot simply let these other things also exist without contributing in some way. As it were, the project looked good. Sharp, clever, playful, and a timely reboot reclaimed in the most contemporary way. When I looked up the production details and found out Banks was championing it herself, I really took an interest in it. As the first full trailers released, the casting looked great - genuinely diverse and with real chemistry, I hoped it would find the audience it was looking for.

J and I have had a lot going on in our lives over the last two years and still do. We’ve gone to theatres I think twice in that whole time, maybe three times and I think two of those were gift certificates generously paid for by family. So tonight we finally got around to watching Charlie’s Angels. If we’d seen this in theatres, I’d have still be satisfied and had the same evaluation.

A production budget of $55 million is low-balling a project of this scope; 

There seems to have been a bit of pre-production shuffling and Banks did a lot of wrangling herself early on. 

The whole shoot front to back was just over two months and I assume three countries, US/or studio inclusive. 

CGI is noticeably subpar but not exactly cheap either, so it still would have cost a significant portion of that prod. budget. When I say subpar, the CG in this film isn’t bad, please don’t take that criticism as overly negative of the CG artists’ work - remember that people do the best they can with the time and money they’re afforded. If you want to understand what that’s all about, I encourage you to watch Corridor Crew’s channel on YouTube.

Combat choreography with principle actors isn’t great, there’s far too much editing but again, I’m betting there wasn’t a whole lot of money and thus time for training and rehearsing for them, so combat is noticeably slow. 

2nd Unit photography looked very good because this kind of thing is very old-school Hollywood in that it contributes to what makes an action/spy movie look like one. Unfortunately, that means it was also expensive. We’re really running out of money here...

There is a lot of licensed music in this feature which isn’t cheap at all. Again this feels super old-school Hollywood and definitely demographic targeting, but it firmly timestamps the feature - any film, really - and unless your film is about capturing the essence of the time IT WAS THE 80′s! or FOLK FESTIVALS JUST BEFORE COVID BROKE OUT as an example of not necessarily wanting to capture the past, I really think trying to nail down pop songs of the hot present ultimately does your film a disservice.

And I’ll address that one first because I feel like it may have been one of the easiest changes to make to lift the overall quality of the picture. Instead of burning thru an immense amount of budget on a pile of pop licenses, I think a calculated risk could have been taken in getting a young contemporary musician to create a slick electronic score in its entirety to back it along side the generic orchestral action fare, no disrespect to Brian Tyler. To be honest, Tyler probably could have done it all himself but was also probably just writing to spec. BUT HEY... WHY NOT SCOUT FOR ANY NUMBER OF AMAZING WOMEN OUT THERE WHO ARE PHENOMENAL ELECTRONIC MUSICIANS AND PRODUCERS what am I talking about it’s Hollywood...

This is what I mean by the project deserving more respect and being under-served. Hollywood doesn’t believe in projects like this, they don’t realise what the project is and why it needs frontier, sincere, good faith hiring and instead under-funds but funds it nevertheless SEE? WE FUNDED IT, WE DID THE GOOD THING, SEE US SUPPORTING THE WIMMINS? WE’RE NOT  SEXISTS YOU CAN’T SAY WE’RE SEXISTS YOU CAN HAVE YOUR FILM oh it didn’t do very well except we didn’t let you make it the way you wanted to make it, we still shackled you to 

THE SAME TERRIBLE HOLLYWOOD TRADITIONS THAT, BY THE WAY, ARE FAILING OUR MANLY MAN MOVIES FULL OF MEN HOLY SHIT THE DEBT-RECOVERY CYCLE IS REALLY DOING A NUMBER ON OUR INVESTORS I SURE HOPE WE DON’T HAVE TOO MANY CONSECUTIVE FAILURES OR, SAY, SOME KIND OF GLOBAL CATASTROPHIC AND/OR ECONOMIC EVENT HAND-WRINGING

ahem where was I

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross provided the entire soundtrack for The Social Network and it’s both fantastic and timeless. OK oranges and refrigerators, but the principle still stands - I get the intent of Charlie’s Angels was a summer blockbuster but it would have still been elevated by being all the more slick having its own identity in music, having its own sound. You want that soundtrack by that amazing young woman because it sounds fucken awesome.

Charlie’s Angels still needed a few passes by a dialogue editor. I say that a lot. I know my standards are high and it’s a Hollywood film. There’s no problem at all with the vernacular, idioms and the casual language, that was all fine. It’s always just the little details - again, it’s always time and money which - really is just money. A good dialogue editor or script supervisor might have been able to just elevate this whole thing to that super-smooth level of flowing just right. Or perhaps if the actors had spent more time in training and combat rehearsal together, they’d have riffed better and improvised more. They still have good on-screen chemistry but again, more time - more money for time - and things improve.

If you don’t know my taste in film, you could see if you recognise anything in the Film Notes page of this journal, but it’s totally OK if you don’t. Basically most of them are long and boring, with super long takes of people not saying or doing much. I still love Hollywood films tho - I love all cinema and I’ll repeat like a broken record, I should either add a section to Film Notes of my favourite blockbusters or create a page for them. Anyway - Charlie’s Angels still has too much editing mostly due to the aforementioned combat, but also because of that good old Hollywood formulaic style-guide. It’s easy to look up the production credits and pluck out names but on a project like this, it’s difficult to pin the end result on the roles themselves. In these cases, personnel like editors are more like daily jobs rather than creative contributors which again is an immense shame. I catch myself before saying “It doesn’t have to be a Malick/Shortland/Lynch project...” but why not? Why can’t a summer blockbuster have its own fantastic identity? General audiences can identify Michael Bay and Christopher Nolan - sure, one or perhaps both of these people take themselves far too seriously, but why not let a project have its own identity?

We run back into the conversation of protecting investments and style guides.

The easy answer to Bay and Nolan is they’re men, but they’ve also had time to prove their worth over time with previous work and track record. Because they’ve had the privilege to do so. Because they’re men. And most of the people making decisions and letting them experiment and sometimes fail to recover investment on their projects and hey, don’t worry, just try again, are men - and they were permitted to try again because they were themselves men.

Whether individual men do or don’t deserve whatever they did or didn’t get, I’m not here to discuss. Many of them definitely didn’t and I can’t change it.

What we should be changing is how we finance, how we empower and how we hand over autonomy of projects to women in cinema, in the arts - in professional life, in any industry.

YOU DON’T KNOW THE DETAILS OF THIS PROJECT

So. Fucking. What.

I can make educated guesses and I can support as much as possible as fair and equitable an arts industry wherever I engage with it.

I really liked Charlie’s Angels. It had a lot of heart. It had a wonderful sense of play and sass and smarts. Yes, a few too many “why didn’t they just shoot the bad guy” moments etc. - again - script reviews, better writers, more time...

More money.

More respect from an industry that doesn’t respect women and women’s autonomy; social, professional, in all aspects.

I hope Elizabeth Banks wants to make another one, can raise the finances for it and has even more control of the next project. More power to her.

[something--wicked]

vent

so todays my first day on wellbutrin

i was on prozac for 5 years and now weening off and starting wellbutrin bc i was having constant panic attacks related to my hypochondriasis. and i keep seeing a lot of ppl saying that wellbutrin side effects are nausea, dizziness and a lot of worse stuff thats making me more anxious

but i want this medication to work so bad because i just wanna go one night without getting nauseous and dizzy for no reason, which inevitably turns into a panic attack bc im convinced that im dying

vaping cbd oil helps out with the anxiety but im just so tired of feeling like shit and feeling like my eyes cant focus and feeling disoriented im just tired of it

i cant even eat my safe foods anymore cuz they have been making me nauseous and im too scared of throwing up or inducing a panic attack to try to eat and i just dont know whats wrong and it just sucks right now

on top of that im starting college in a month and i still dont have any idea how im gonna pay for it, i have my driver license test next week and if i pass i have no idea how im gonna pay for the insurance, i still need to get a job but with how much anxiety and general shitty feelings im having now i cant imagine trying to go into work every day and functioning all day

and if i let my mind wander for even a second my brain convinces me that whatever normal body function im feeling is a symptom of a deadly disease that will kill me within minutes. like ive never really burped my whole life i just couldnt do it, and like 2 months ago i suddenly gained the ability to burp and lately my brain has been trying to convince me i have stomach cancer. being on wellbutrin now i live in a constant state of fear that im about to have a seizure. if i go too long without eating and start feeling faint then im scared that im about to fall into a coma from low blood sugar even tho im not diabetic?? if i feel slightly hot which is always cuz i live in texas in a house without central air conditioning, i get convinced that i have an extremely high fever and im gonna drop dead from an infection. ive gotten headaches constantly my whole life and now that ive had one bc of switching meds im convinced im gonna have an aneurysm and die. if my arm hurts for just a second too long im convinced im having a heart attack. if i can hear my heart beating then im just sitting there waiting for it to explode or something cuz it has to be going too fast. i just cant function like this when im in a constant state of panic over every single thing and i dont even know why im feeling like this in the first place!! why am i dizzy and nauseous and spacey ?? i take my vitamins and i stay hydrated but i still feel like shit constantly and theres nothing i can do about it cuz nobody knows whats wrong!!

right now i feel hungry and my stomach is growling, and i saw a warning for a rare side effect of wellbutrin that manifests by spaceyness, and extreme hunger. guess what im scared of now. yep. thats my life.

i just wanna go to a doctors office and have them perform every single possible test on me. put me thru an mri, do every blood test imaginable, give me every kind of scan or exam there is, just do everything so i can know whats going on in there and tell me that im fine and there is nothing physically wrong with me and that im not suffering from stomach cancer, diabetes, heart failure, epilepsy, brain cancer, and lung cancer all at once . because my brain legit convinces me that i am and its so exhausting. im tired of it

I just wanna feel normal and not live like this anymore

[ventus-shmentus]

1 through 100 for the question time?

oh man this is gonna keep me busy, thank you anon

1.) is there a boy/girl in your life?

*** sadly no, I've been single for like 3 years now

2.)  think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

*** yes! I generally try to forgive most ppl because I h a t e being angry w ppl

3.) what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

*** there was a girl in middle school that always stared me down and meowed at me at lunch???

4.) what’s something you really want right now?

*** strawberry lemonade from O’Charley’s

5.) are you afraid of falling in love?

*** thank god no, I love loving people

6.) do you like the beach?

*** yeah my fam goes every year for vacay and we spread my brothers ashes in the ocean and stuff so it’s comforting to go bc it’s like he’s still with me??

7.) have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

*** tried to, but I have a lot of problems falling asleep so it didn't work out too well

8.) what’s the background on your cell?

*** my lock screen is me and a best friend and my home bg is a pic of ventus

9.)name the last four beds you were sat on?

***my sisters, my moms, faith’s, and Ryder’s if you count being sat on by dogs (I think thats what the question is asking lmao??)

10.) do you like your phone?

*** most of the time, yeah. the calls get messed up a lot tho and the battery sucks

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

*** god no, it’d be weird if they were. I'm doing much much better in life than I originally expected 

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

*** probs the girls from my DBT therapy group

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

*** omg Rottweiler for sure,,, I love big doggies and they're such big babies

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

*** I can't really answer this because they’re both felt in different ways

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

*** I've never been to an art museum so id have to say zoo for now

16: are you tired?

*** heck yea my mom lost my sleep medication, I'm so tired to the point where I'm listening to Soulja boy and I'm not sure if its real or not

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

*** like???? 15 years??

18: are they a relative?

*** nope just my sisters friend 

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

*** someone please kill me if I ever get back with one of my exes

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

*** honestly I can’t remember, probably like last month?

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

*** nonono I'm nowhere near ready to settle down in life like that. I'm only 19 and like I've never even had a job and I don't have my license and shit,,, def not ready for marriage

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

*** yeah he was a good kisser, too bad I barely remember it lmao

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

*** 2 a hair tie and a friendship bracelet

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

*** Donald Duck going “WAK!”

25: what’s on your mind?

*** what happened to Kevin Jonas

26: do you have any tattoos?

*** no but I was planning on getting one soon as tribute to my brother

27: what is your favorite color?

*** yellow!! its so happy and bright

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

*** heck idk no one ever seems interested in me so like?? its up to them bc I'm down to kiss like 90% of the people I know

29: who are you texting?

*** my boi Ryder bc he's coming over to give me birthday stuff

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

***nope, only a car

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

*** I low key knew that my brother was gonna die the day he did but I didn't say anything to anyway bc I just blamed it on my anxiety

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

*** heck yeah, I got a couple thankfully

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

*** lmao ryder

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

*** yes! my eyes turn literally yellow in the summer and its p cool

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

*** I'd be like “hell yeah I'm proud of u for getting action”

36: were you single on valentines day?

*** have been my whole life

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

*** yes but I rarely talk to him anymore

38: what do your friends call you?

*** karl, car keys, Karls, kar, karlie warlie

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

*** does myself count lmao

40: have you ever cried over a text?

*** probably

41: where’s your last bruise located?

*** the tops of my feet 

42: what is it from?

*** dancing! you get bruises in weird places from dance lmao

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

*** idk if this really counts but we went out to eat last night which is really triggering for me and I was like “I just want to go home and see my doggie”

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

***my sister on accident

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

*** fav bc of looks are my white doc Martens but I wear my black converse most of the time

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

*** no I look dumb in hats

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

*** honestly no just bc I like to have the mermaid hair effect when I’m in the bath or swimming

48: do you make supper for your family?

*** only if its like pizza rolls or smthn

49: does your bedroom have a door?

*** yes???

50: top 3 web-pages?

*** Tumblr, youtube and Facebook

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

*** my mom bc she hates going out in public

52: does anything on your body hurt?

*** my wrist!! I have a cyst in my joint and it hurts to move it too much 

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

*** yes bc I have a huge fear of abandonment

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

*** strawberry lemonade

55: how is your hair?

*** its kinda short atm, I just got it cut and I'm mad bc its just the right length where only half of my hair goes into a ponytail

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

*** pee tbh

57: do you think two people can last forever?

*** I mean I guess

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

*** considering. was 8, yes

59: green or purple grapes?

*** depends on my mood tbh

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

*** in like 10 minutes when Ryder is here

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

*** not really but I wouldn't particularly mind if I was somewhere else

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

*** like rn

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

*** in my living room talking to Ryder

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

*** pretending to be asleep

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

***probably faith idk but thankfully thats faded by now

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

*** ryder and my sister tbh

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

*** my mom always hugs me good morning

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

*** “god I wish I could fall asleep”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

*** did you mean: my entire dance career?

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

*** 5!

71: how many fingers do you have?

*** thankfully I got all 10

72: what is your ringtone?

*** the default iPhone ringtone, I've never bothered to change it but I want my text ringtone to be the thing from Kim possible

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

*** 19

74: where is your mum right now?

*** in my sister’s room helping her build a desk

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

*** bc he's an abusive piece of shit (:

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

*** sadly no ):

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

*** definitely not

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

*** a dude named Zac but he was a terrible person lmao

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

*** my aunt's pos boyfriend

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

*** no ):

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

*** not really anyone worth noting

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

*** probably

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

*** I don't really like anyone atm

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

*** probably Bria or faith tbh

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

*** I think it’d depend on what it was and if it was effecting them in an unhealthy way or not

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

*** I threw up 20 mins into Spiderman homecoming

87: who was your last received call from?

*** my sister

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

*** I think it'd depend on what I needed the money for and how bad I needed it

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

*** friends

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

*** all the time. I love trusting people but it gets me hurt a lot

91: do you sleep with your window open?

*** I wish but I got them allergies

92: do you get along with girls?

*** for the most part yes!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

*** yeah but its not worth telling them right now, gotta wait till the right time

94: does sex mean love?

*** nope!

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

*** no but I might have a hard time trying to find things to talk about

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

*** yeah I didn't really like it tbh

97: did you sleep alone this week?

*** always

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

*** yes! my sister and ryder

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

*** no bc then you're just falling in love with the persons looks and not the actual person

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise

*** my mom but I don't remember what for

[kennynogood]

Finished college, not finished with life

Hard to believe I graduated in May. Usually when you graduate pharmacy school you either go do a 1-2 year of clinical residency or fellowship OR get licensed and work as a staff pharmacist somewhere. I did none of those. Somehow through stroke of luck, my rotations from school gave me specialized exposurd that opened up a new job opportunity without needing to get licensed. Straight luck plus happened to be good fit for role since I’m use to randomness and adapting to changes (grateful towards all of my previous internships).

So now I work full time at a job that’s pretty much way better. Working full time makes things hard as hell in terms of  getting the motivation to study for board exams. I want to be a licensed pharmacist, but I’m also tired as hell at the end of the day and end of the week. Work itself isn’t bad. I am still acclimating to work culture and adulting....when I graduated from pharmacy school after 6 years, I thought I was going to get my life back. Then interviewed got a full-time job couple of months later and it feels like I’ve jumped into a new phase of life. Barely ever really got back my old life before jumping in which is something I think about less now. My first week of work, I was like omg...this is adulting now. This place is def my dream job. I do find myself constantly battling anxieties, mental fatigues and clinical depression no matter how often I try to be optimistic about things and life. Pretty sure not working out consistently or leading an active lifestyle has contributed to mentail ailments as well.

In school, you generally work your way through by taking exams, adult world tho...it becomes a more complex task of living holistically well. Mentally, spiritually, and physicaily.

Also, little bro about to move out to college in NJ this Wednesday, thankfully its not too far that he could come home on the weekends if he wanted to. Seems like so many things has happened so quickly at once that it becomes hard to keep up or stay on top of life. 

So where do I see myself in next 5 years? No clue. I am mostly working for the weekend to enjoy the little bit of freedom I have during the weekend. Very soon, weekends will feel emptier especially at 2am-3am when I would normally hear my brother playing video games in his room as I go to the bathroom.

Side note:

Read through old cringeworthy tumblr posts when life was pretty chill. Youthful days were definitely awesome because the future had so many exciting possibilities. Future is still good, but quite different from what I had planned. I have to stop dwelling on the past and find new hope for the future. New pres def doesn’t make it any easier tho...gotta tune the politics stuff out but it’s so hard to. Politics has turned into a weird reality show...Depressing times. Looking forward to coming out the other end of this phase of life stronger and happier or just surviving lol.