#i had lukewarm feelings about these final episodes but they really came through

[tallest-tiptoes]

what an episode. two i love yous, carina worried about maya, maya willing to be the one carrying, the throwback to maya’s iconic line…

and then that cliffhanger??

i’m well aware maya being in real danger has been something we’ve all been asking for but boy am i not strong enough for this

also the camera spinning around them at the end reminds me too much of their proposal so it’s hitting extra hard

i need maya to be okay, not just alive but well enough to continue fighting fires if she wishes to

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Why Ray x Mew is Doomed to Fail

This show is consistently catching me off guard and I LOVE that. I was not expecting this to come out of the fallout, mostly because I didn't see Mew ever choosing this. But here we are. As soon as the final scene of Ray and Mew dancing at Yo's bar came on screen, I was wildly uncomfortable. Something felt so inherently wrong and off-kilter with this image. So let's discuss why.

Resigned Acceptance VS Active Choice

Let's be clear firstly; Mew hasn't chosen Ray. The entire exchange between them is Mew doing calculations in his head. And what he concludes is if someone loves you far more, then you don't lose out. Logically it's a far easier and safer proposition to try. (Whereas with Top, who was supposedly so out of Mew's league, has now caused Mew a tonne of insecurity because of his betrayal). Ray can't hurt him because Mew has never regarded Ray as suited for that spot.

It's with an air of resigned acceptance (and an obvious lack of any enthusiasm) that Mew accepts Ray's pursuit of him. Like a lukewarm shrug, 'Yeah. I guess. I suppose. Why not.' Right now Mew needs a distraction and here is his perfect opportunity to appear as if he's 'moved on' already. That he's unaffected. Mew is only doing all of this because he's hurting. If Top hadn't cheated, his stance on Ray would still be unwaveringly firm.

This also serves as an ideal way to punish Top. Top's reason for cheating was thinking (wrongly) that there was something going on between him and Ray. So why not rub that in his face and actually have something going on now to spite him? Top's worst nightmare manifested.

Mew Playing Mew 2.0

I had a really strong feeling this episode that Mew was trying to emanate Ray, especially with his new look. Bit by bit, Mew is denouncing everything that once made him who he was. He's trying to embrace the opposite end of the spectrum and his closest point of reference is Ray.

Ray isn't responsible. Ray is impulsive. He has everyone else taking care of him. I think in some ways Mew may envy Ray at times. The luxury to be reckless, spontaneous and have people around you to pick up the pieces. To test run Ray's 'fuck it' mentality for a change and forego accountability is freeing, it's seductive.

However, Mew 2.0 is just Mew playing 'dress up'. It's a costume and a form of armour but nothing more. Mew is not coupling up with Ray as his authentic self (and ultimately the 'self' that Ray fell in love with). The man Ray loves VS the man Ray is now dating are two different people. There's already a layer of falsehood sandwiched between them.

Ray's Glorification of Mew

In Ray's eyes, Mew can do no wrong. The way that Ray sees Mew is faultless, blemish-free, almost saintlike. Mew is his saviour and Ray holds him on a incredibly high pedestal. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on anyone who is the subject of this adoration.

When we love someone, what we really desire is to be seen for all the things that makes us painfully human. The things we hate about ourselves; the ugly, the unsightly, the flaws - for someone to know us at our very worst and still love us despite all that.

Ray's opinion of Mew means he can never truly appreciate who he is as just another person who has his faults and shortcomings. It also means Ray is likely to look to Mew to have the answers, to share his wisdom and that's just not always going to be the case.

For now, Ray may be basking in the awe of living his ultimate fantasy but I don't think he'll be able to cope with the reality being less than perfection. Of Mew being less than perfection. You've set Mew up to fail, and you've doomed this relationship to fall short of the spectacular grandeur you may have conjured in your head.

This pairing is fundamentally not on equal footing. Mew is vicariously living through Ray like some rollercoaster ride to hedonism. Ray is a means for him but not a destination.

[blazehedgehog]

And Now: Thoughts on Sonic Prime (1-8)

I am hot and fresh off watching episode 8 of Sonic Prime -- it's the end of the current batch of episodes we have, with the promise of more to come.

And to some degree, I guess I went in with low expectations. For starters, this show has been kind of shrouded in mystery. I guess to some degree I'm used to more lead in time on these things, where there's a steady drip feed of teasers, and trailers, and previews for 9-12 months leading up to its release. Sonic Prime had nothing, for the most part -- just some concept art leaks, until about three months before it premiered. It didn't help that the streaming landscape as it stands today is sort of on fire; not just Warner Discovery slash-and-burning HBO Max, but a swathe of Netflix Animation layoffs cut through the industry during Sonic Prime's production. It was, and is still a scary time for the industry.

The pervasive theme from some I follow on social media also was kind of lukewarm. I get the feeling a lot of people had the same experience with Sonic Prime as I did with Samurai Jack back when that premiered. For me, Samurai Jack came at the peak of the anime boom, when Americans were getting their first taste of truly serialized animation. Jack set itself up as a serialized adventure, but very, very quickly devolved in to a typical American cartoon format, with episodes made to be syndicated and aired out of order. Or, to put it in terms that make my comparison more clear: I expected something more and instead got a show that was comfortable resting in an existing format.

And the prevailing complaint I've heard against Sonic Prime is that it's "just a kids show." The complaints aren't very loud and most people are fine with this, but the disappointment is still there, because, again: they expected something more and received a show that was comfortable where it was. That's fair.

Sonic Prime is definitely a cartoon show for children. The original pitch was that it is "Into the Spider-verse for Sonic", and that's definitely true, but it makes sure to go as slowly as possible and explain the concept of a multiverse over, and over, and over again just to be positive that the six and seven year olds in the audience understand the concept of alternate dimensions, and the fact that Sonic is crossing between them. A lot of early episodes are taken up by Sonic being confused by what's going on, despite the fact that DC's Crisis on Infinite Earths popularized the idea of the multiverse back in 1985. But hey, kids today weren't alive in 1985 (heck, I was barely alive in 1985).

Even though, y'know, Spider-verse itself was a comic book in 2014, and a movie in 2018, with a sequel due next year, which is to say nothing of the Marvel Cinematic Universe dabbling in the multiverse with Spider-man: No Way Home and Dr. Strange in The Multiverse of Madness. And then there's Fortnite, perpetually one of the biggest games in the world for the last half-decade, which has positioned itself as the center of all multiverses ever created, in its quest to transcend and graduate to a metaverse.

Heck, even Sonic himself: between Sonic Generations, Sonic Forces, and the 24 year run of the Archie Sonic comics, this isn't Sonic's first multiversal rodeo.

But I can swallow that. Like it's been said, it's a show for kids, and they're just trying to make absolutely, totally sure even the youngest are able to digest what's happening. Eventually you get past the show feigning a sense of "I don't know what's going on!!" and it starts to hit a stride.

Sort of, anyway. By the end of episode four, when Sonic Prime has fully and finally committed to admitting this is a multiverse, you're halfway through this first batch of episodes, and the pace suddenly goes from zero to sixty as Sonic starts more rapidly popping around dimensions.

I'd really like to see the original, unedited pitch for this show. Because there are clear vibes in Sonic Prime that suggest something much closer to what a "Spider-verse" really is: namely, different sub-franchises coming together. More specifically, the Spider-verse movie goes out of its way to suggest that its Peter Parker is, in fact, the same Peter Parker from Sam Raimi's movie trilogy, as during his origin story, you see shot-for-shot recreations of famous Raimi-Spider scenes. Now, with its sequel, Across the Spider-verse, fans are going wild pointing out cameos in recent trailers.

All of this is me saying I think Sonic Prime was probably pitched to be a show where Sonic visits known dimensions -- alternate universe versions we know from other pieces of Sonic media. In the Sonic Prime show we have now, Sonic visits three dimensions:

The Red Sky Dimension: A grim, dark universe where Eggman ("The Chaos Council") has already won. A rebel band of freedom fighters works underground to fight back against the dictatorship. One of the characters is a half-robot woman with telescoping arms and legs.

The Jungle Dimension: A tribe of natives are suffering from a small civil war after temperament changes over how they are maintaining their balance with nature.

The Pirate Dimension: The entire surface of the planet is covered in nearly endless water, leaving most people to sail the high seas in galleons.

Parts of each dimension map pretty well to existing things we already have (or had) in the Sonic franchise. Some more than others, and maybe it's just a sign that Sonic's been interpreted so many ways over the years, but I can't help but wonder if there was a version where this was pitched as:

The SatAM Dimension: Named for the fact this was the Saturday Morning Cartoon Sonic (Saturday, in the AM), this was part of the second wave of dark kids shows following in the footsteps of pioneers like X-Men: The Animated Series and Batman: The Animated Series in 1992. Dark kids shows truly kicked off in 1993, with Sonic joining the ranks with Swat Kats, Exosquad, and Cadillacs and Dinosaurs. SatAM put Sonic in a team of freedom fighters lead by Princess Sally Acorn as they fought back against Robotnik's dictatorship. One of the characters is a half-robot woman with telescoping arms and legs. The show became the basis for the Archie Sonic comics, which went on to become the longest continuous licensed comic book in history. The "red sky" in Sonic Prime isn't necessarily a reference to SatAM itself (which often use colder blue hues), but the "red sky" is often a general term for the grim dark period of cartoons in general, used in particular when the 80's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon rebooted to become darker and more serious, entering what fans call the "Red Sky Era." That, or, y'know, Eggmanland from the actual Sonic games.

The Boom Dimension: This one's admittedly a big stretch, but what really grabbed my attention was the way Knuckles acts in this world. Here, he exists in a nearly identical role to Sticks the Badger from Sonic Boom. Basically, all he does is interrupt when the dialog gets too serious to spout off over-the-top conspiracy theories as a way to lighten the mood. Plus, um, wood huts...? Like I said, it's a stretch.

The Sol Dimension: This is the home of Blaze the Cat, introduced in the Sonic Rush games. These games are, in themselves, also suggestive of a multiverse: in the first Sonic Rush, we meet Blaze, who is kind of the Sonic of her own dimension. In the sequel, Sonic is temporarily stranded in Blaze's world, which is mostly covered in water and dominated by pirate factions. A great deal of the gameplay is Sonic gathering materials so Tails can build watercraft able to reach many of the game's most scattered islands. Blaze isn't in Sonic Prime, obviously, but there's nameless background rebels in The Red Sky Dimension that are almost a dead ringer for her in a way that feels like a deliberate wink. (Re-scanning the episode, there's also Raccoon-styled background characters clearly using visual cues from Marine, too)

I could definitely see this show being pitched where these references were maybe a little more overt. Especially the first one, considering production is being handled by WildBrain, aka Cookie Jar, aka DiC, the original production company behind SatAM in 1993. The first thought I had when I heard the legacy was that if they were going to pull a "Spider-verse" as they originally announced, they needed to do an episode where Sonic visits SatAM, and given the Red Sky Dimension is the first (and seemingly most important) of the three so far, it seems they were at least thinking in the same direction, to some degree. I just assume Sega wouldn't let them commit, so they had to pick and choose what they liked about those worlds and adapt them to fit a mainline-centric cast.

As for what they did with it... yeah, it's fine. It's not the greatest Sonic show ever created, but it's a step above things like Sonic Underground, Sonic X, and even Sonic Boom, I'd say. Sonic Boom was also very "fine" from everything I've seen (I never saw most of Season 2), but it's really hard to look back on nowadays when you see Sonic Prime's vibrant colors and fluid animation.

I'm hesitant to judge too much of the story yet, given we know Netflix apparently ordered 24 episodes and we're only 8 episodes deep in to that run. Assuming they keep to 8 episode batches, we still have two more "drops" left to go -- the series is still clearly getting warmed up.

I will say I echo what some others have said, namely the fact that they treat Green Hill Zone with such a comical amount of reverence as if it has all these iconic locations, when it turns out to be... like, one tree. Out of many. Or a single loop-de-loop. Every time Sonic goes to a new dimension, he has to be like "aw man, there's the loop" like we're supposed to feel something with him, when Sonic games show us loops everywhere, in every level.

As I said in another blog, though, I really appreciate Sonic's characterization here. He has the personality I always thought he should have: carefree to a fault, very hyperactive, and obnoxiously cocky. Sonic is used to going where he wants, when he wants, and doing what he wants, and we're lucky he's one of the good guys because he's basically unstoppable when he really puts his mind to something. He just, uh, doesn't put his mind to very much, because he just kind of casually wanders into and out of trouble at his leisure. His friends love him just as much as they put up with his ADHD impulses. Sonic Prime just shows us a moment where that devil-may-care attitude bites him particularly hard. But I've definitely been of the mind that more Sonic games should be about Sonic stumbling in to something dangerous by accident, and that's definitely what happens here.

So, in general, I feel like I am living my best life when I watch this Sonic bumble his way around, lost in worlds he doesn't understand. This is my guy. This is how I'd write him. There has not been a single moment in the entire show so far where I have wavered in this thought. This is, 100%, my Sonic. He is perfect.

Everyone else I'm not so sure of. Shadow shows up here generally to repeat the same things that got him pushed out of the IDW comics, where he's treated more as a hyper-aggressive one-dimensional rival to Sonic who can't stand being seen as a second-banana. It's a flimsy reason to make a character punch Sonic (something that happens a lot in Sonic Prime). I know I've complained about Shadow being too serious before, but there used to be more nuance to his characterization than "I am always going to be mad at Sonic for petty reasons."

Rouge is also a weird addition to the main cast; namely making her part of the core team along side Tails, Amy, and Knuckles. I get that they probably wanted more gender diversity and probably didn't want to (or couldn't) introduce a new female character, but she always struck me as someone who was always off doing her own things and didn't necessarily care about what Sonic was doing unless their paths accidentally intersected.

I'm already getting tired of The Chaos Council. This is probably the thing that feels the most like a kids show -- instead of having one character with depth and nuance, you break them down into a group of easy-to-digest stereotypes. Here's the trendy one! Here's the dumb one! Here's the apathetic one! Here's the old one! Here's the leader! It's the same line of thinking behind The Deadly Six from Sonic Lost World, and being so basic and toyetic is one of the reasons people rejected those things. The council seems like they're going to be the central villains for the rest of Sonic Prime, but I'd like them to combine back in to the real Eggman at some point.

Though speaking of Chaos, I'm pleasantly surprised how little Chaos Emeralds have factored in to this story. Sure, they have a different type of jewel to worry about, but it's nice that the emeralds aren't so important just yet. I assume they will be, since Shadow finds an emerald in one episode and his ability to use Chaos Control seems to tie in to the dimensional shenanigans, but it's still good to have Sonic media where the answer isn't instantly just "we gotta find the Chaos Emeralds because Super Sonic will stop this." We get to have some fun, first.

Definitely interested in seeing where the rest of this series goes, but at the very least, these first eight episodes have dashed any hopes of legitimate alternate-universe crossovers. Perhaps SatAM, Sonic Boom, and the Sol Dimension were never in the cards, and they chose these as the first three dimensions to showcase as a way to tell people like me that they can't and won't be crossing over with any existing Sonic media. Because, I mean, they can't do SatAM and the Red Sky dimension, right? It's an easy way to set expectations.

Fingers crossed it finishes strong.

[nightlight-firelight]

Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait! Art block (Or writing block?) is the worst and I’ve been busy. I’m also trying to make this a gender neutral story and I’m not too experienced on this so hopefully I’m doing ok so far! Now with that out of the way, on to chapter 2!

“Falling (in love) So Fast That I Can’t Even Think!”

Chapter 2

You take a second to realize that he was holding you a bit tight around the waist, and the silence of the tension began to build every second that neither of you moved.

“Hi?” You ask him. You mentally smacked yourself in the head for that comment. At this point of view, you can see that the, now real and very handsome doctor, eyes were a shade of blue that could take your breath away and-

“Oh, um,” Eggman studdered out a bit softer and less confident the what you have seen him in the show. “Hi.” He finally decided to look around at his predicament and examined your room.

“Where am I?” Eggman finally pulled you back onto the bed, creaking slightly from the unexpected new weight. Your mind finally snaps back into reality as the warmth from his hands fades from your hips, already missing the connection he had. You need to relax, and not freak out the poor man sitting on your bed.

“You’re in my room.” You finally managed to push the words out of your lips. His face turns to confusion and worries at all of the merchandise of not just his universe, but the main Sonic series as well. His mind mostly likely wandered into a ‘crazy fan’ mode and tried to back up. You perk up and lean back slightly, making sure to not fall off the bed this time, but also give him some space to relax. Ivo’s movements began to quicken as he still backs up, almost falling off the other side of the bed. He catches himself and looks at you with a face of slight panic and worry.

“What’s all this? Who are you and what-” You cut him off with a hand slightly raised, signaling to calm down and to relax. “Breath, please. I won’t hurt you.” You promised him as you instruct him through a breathing exercise. After a small bit of confusion between the two of you, you lead the poor man into your living room, hesitantly on his part, and led him down on your couch. Just walking into your kitchen to grab two white ceramic mugs, you hear him clear his throat.

“So, what’s going on?” You can feel his gaze on you as the first mug is filled with hot liquid, the steam coming from the filling mug as your brain thinks of what you should do. You switch mugs, taking out his mug for yours. You take a breath.

You’re in my house, and not in your multiverse.” Finally giving him some type of answer as his, at this point, huge bear paw-like hands, envelope the mug and took a small sip. You went to grab your mug as he commented on the choice of beverage you had given him.

“Hot Cocoa?” The question you as you at on the opposite side of the couch, holding what you liked to think, that at this moment was your liquid courage. You take a small sip and taste the liquid pooling into your body. You almost blush as you remembered the ‘CowBot’ episode where Eggman offered Sonic and Tails hot coco and messed with them, waiting for his machine to arrive.

“I thought you might like it.” You confess as he stairs back into his cup, pondering on his whole situation. He takes a breath and looks at you.

“Can you explain to me how I may have gotten here?” All you could do is nod as you start the long trek into the explanation of who is and on all of your knowledge on how he may have gotten here.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

The next few hours were, as you expected, emotional. You had to start with who you were, where he was, and leading him into the conversation that may or may not have caused way too much emotion for the both of you.

“So the main series follows Sonic and his friends, but mostly Sonic, throughout his adventures fighting his version of the doctor. There in the form of games.” He takes a sec and has a look that tells you to keep going. You explain all the story of how the franchise came to be from the nineties till the game you were kinda worried about. Sonic Adventure 2. You tell him the basic plot points and slowly explain how the Main Univers Doc’s Grandfather died along with his grandchild, Maira. He winces when you explain this and see that he’s shaking whenever the two popped up. When you explained that Shadow was made by his Grandfather, his mood perked up and he getting giddy and you have to admit, his cute squeal of figuring out that somewhere he could be related to one of the most powerful people on his island. You smile and after his cute reaction, keeps the conversation going with more information about the franchise. By the time you had reached the current point of the history of the franchise, the man had a lot of questions.

“So let me get this straight,” Eggman’s posture was lax as he was leaned back into the couch, making himself more at home for the time being. “You’re telling me that the main version of me has released a water monster god, a prototype of Shadow, that is a giant lizard, a god within the earth that’s made of darkness, and tried to play with time and space like it was a toy?” He questioned as he took another sip of his now lukewarm cup of cocoa, stroking his mustache pensively, looking at you for a reasonable answer on why he would do so. “Well the BioLizard thing wasn’t truly his fault, but the rest were planed. And I’m saying ‘planned’ with quotes because I don’t think for a second that he thought a few of those through.” You chuckle at the main Doc’s decisions. While you did think his plans were really good, sometimes you think he may have never really thought things through before going to start his plans. Doc downs the rest of his drink as you realized that your cup is still half full. He sets it on the counter in front of the two of you and leans back into your couch. You smile at the thought that he’s finally warming up to you. In all reality, he could take you down with a swing of his fist and run anytime, but having him trust you this much to serve him a drink and have a nice conversation did bring up some fuzzy feelings you have been trying to push down withing the last few hours.

“So I’m still confused, how did I get here?” Doc asks as he cracks his spin a bit to relax better. You take another sip of your dink and set your cup down. You look him in the eye with a bit of confusion. “I’m not sure. I just watch the DVD and you were the one to start seeing me, after the ending of your battle with Sonic and Tails, that white light appeared and you grabbed me before I fell off my bed.” You look towards him and blush a bit, your face now warm from the memory of the save. “Thank you for catching me, I don’t think a concussion would have helped the situation now, would it?” You try and make the small joke appealing to make it less awkward. He blushes and nods, a small ‘no problem’ slips from his lips as you can see he’s trying to not make eye contact and his cheeks, just slightly visible under his mustache, a small bit of warmth wraps around his cheeks. Your brain gets hit with a moment of clarity and you jump up from the couch and take a second to grab your DVD player from your room, bringing it back to him to study. “I’m not sure if this would help you get back home,” You start, “ But it’s a start.” You also hand him the note that came with the box along with the Sonic figure. He takes the figure first and rolls it over a bit, looking at the detail.

“So this figure and the note came along in the box with the DVDs?” He asked as he set the figure down as he grabbed the note. You blush and remember that wasn’t the only thing in the box. You almost had forgotten the figure of the living breathing man in front of you. You ask him to give you a second and hurry back to your room. Searching the room, you almost give up on finding the figure, until you spot it halfway under the bed. You bend over and grab the figure and examine it. It’s still the same figure, but less detailed now. It actually looks like how one of the box set figures is. Cheaply made and having a missing paint splotch here and there. It still was a good-looking figure though, just not as best made. You start your very slow pace back to the living room, taking a small bit of time to think about something. The Sonic figure was still the same as it was before the doctor arrived, why did the doctor change-. You stop mid-way in your hallway to finally piece a big puzzle together. The figure of the doctor was some type of catalyst for his arrival. Like a gateway to get here. ‘And now that the figure is back to normal, does that mean that the Sonic one-’ You didn’t finish that thought as you hurry back to the living room, the doctor just putting the not back onto the counter. He looks up as grabs the DVD player and sets it onto his lap. He smiles as you enter the room.

“ Hey, you ok?” He asks you as you sit back down next to him, gently grab the Sonic figure, cradling it with some care.

“I’m ok,” You answer with some melancholy in your voice. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking of something that just came to me.” You look over to him, Doc staring back, patiently waiting for you to continue. You take a breath and look him in the eyes. “The box set also came with a figure of you as well.” You explain as you gave him the small toy, his face going into a slight pout over the quality as he looks it over.

“I’m much more handsome than this.” He sulks over the craftsmanship of his figure compared to the one in your hand. You pat him on the back with your free hand, feeling him tense for a sec and then relax. You giggle at the line, remembering it from the 30th-anniversary comic. Your mood lightening up a bit at his reaction. “It was actually just as well made before you appeared in my room.” You explained as you rub your thumber gingerly over Sonic’s quills. Your mood dampens a bit. “I’m really thinking that the figure was the way-”

And a giant flash of white engulfed both of your eyesight. You scream as you feel a sense of weightlessness as you clutch the figure closer to you. Opening your eyes after that flashbang of light, as see that you’re in. You blink and take a look around. You try and gain a scene of where you were as you feel like you were falling down. You see Eggman trying his best not to scream as he is also in the same predicament as you. You look at this ‘tube’ as you decided to call it and take a look a the warping walls. They move with colors that remind you of the goop In Super Mario Sunshine. The colors of yellow, magenta, and white mixing together and making the whole experience feel like a trippy dip around a pipe. The tube had some slight aura to it as it was some type of fuzzy feeling in the back of your spine, not good but not unpleasant either. You look down past your now slightly screaming partner in crime to see a large warp ring that looked something right of the Sonic movie, looking to land right over some type of woods. You realized from the rate your accelerating from and the height from the ring to the ground would lead to more than a few broken bones.

Holding your breath and snaping your eyes closed as you wait for the pain to hit, the now cool air of the new land you arrived on pools into your skin as you want to feel at least a bit of joy knowing that right at the end, you feel cool. You never did feel the ground but instead a pair of arms holding you and the sensation of rocketing back up. Opening your eyes, you see Doc holding you again, having been lifted from the ground by two sleek black jetpack type of wings protruding from the back of his jacket. He looks down at you with a smirk and chuckles a bit.

“We have got to stop doing this.” He’s sarcastic, and the potential way of flirting, way of teasing sends you a bit more than tomato red in the face as you wonder if it’s the altitude of the comment that making it hard to think right at the moment. You almost didn’t hear him as he starts to talk.

“It looks like we’re flying over Seaside Island Jungle.” He starts to explain. “I’m going to fly us back to my lair and we can figure out from there what’s going on.” You look over his shoulder for a brief second to see the portal closing and finally dusting away with a puff of gold sparks. Looking back and see a breathtaking view, seeing the full grand scale of the island from up in the clouds. You can even start making out at sever locations from both seasons. You only think of what’s going to happen next when you see golden sparks emulate from your closed hands and feel a heavyweight in your arms and Doc quickly getting down to the ground, getting to be just at the end of ‘Nameless village’ as your reflexes grab on tightly to what you were holding onto. You both look down and see a very unconscious Sonic the Hedgehog in our arms. You look him over and inspect the teenager and see that he’s breathing, and in an ok shape. You look back at Doc and even he’s surprised by this addition to the group.

“Is he ok?”You question him as he gives Sonic a once over. You getting used to finally landing on the ground, stretching your legs after that small adventure.

‘He’ll be fine after some rest, but he looks exhausted.” Eggman questions as you scoop Sonic back up into your arms, being careful of his quills, making sure you don’t end up looking like a human banana peel. You look over at Doc and he looks like he’s, and you have to look a bit more closely at his expression because he looks, jealous? You ponder on that thought that the man might be jealous of the unconscious blue blur as the both of you set off into town, wondering where to go from here.

“Hey!” You hear a cry from in front of the, three? of you. You look up and see four multi-colored anthropomorphic animals. “What did the two of you do to Sonic?” Cried the two-tailed Kitsune. You see all three, with the exception of Amy, who at this point is trying to stop the trio, of Sonic’s friends close in around you. You give a panicked look to Doc as it dawned on you that Doc and yourself were about to be attacked by Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks.

Shit.

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

Are you confident Bughead will be endgame on this show? That’s literally the last strand I’ve been holding onto, but the thread is weakening. I really can’t believe that they would take this ship, their absolute most popular and loved one, and just end it like this forever. I am so angry with the writing!!

Hey there, anon! It is unbelievable, isn’t it?

What a tricky question you ask! confidence + prediction + the Riverdale writers ... As Jughead would say: yikes!

The thing with these writers is that they use a lot of words without knowing their meaning. “Endgame” is one of them. “New” is another. “Exciting”. “Darkness”™. “Adult stories”. “The message”…

Dangling the bughead “endgame” carrot at the end of one or two seasons of no bughead or -worse- of b*rchie and j*bitha f.e. is not an endgame. The general definition of endgame -outside of chess- is: the last stage of a process. If the process (i.e. the season’s content) isn’t about bughead, then bughead coming together at the very end is not an endgame, it's a peripeteia i.e. a sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstances.

In shipping, endgame is a couple that will inevitably end together (for ever and ever and ever). In order for something to be inevitable, you have to create that sentiment, you have to build the couple up.

There’s an article about the misappropriation of the word “endagame” that I find particularly funny, as it starts by mentioning Riverdale!

Anyway, this is a long-winded way to say that, yes, I do believe that the show will end with bughead and varchie as their main canon couples. It’s just that, like you, I’m so very tired with these story lines. There is satisfaction to be had at the notion of endgame but a seasonful of investigative bughead would be infinitely preferable. For me (and I can only speak of myself) the journey is more important than the destination -even if for the simple reason that -in TV show time- it lasts longer!

Why do I think bughead is still … that word? Everything’s under the cut, so as not to clutter your dash!

1. A lot of people have been theorising that what happened in 5x18 was not the original plot. I agree.

Let’s start with 5x18 varchie.

Their break up came completely out of left field. Its unexpectedness is reminiscent of 4x17. I make fun of how s5 is a reboot of s1+s2’s leftover ideas, so another copy-paste shouldn’t feel out of place, and yet … really? Another repetition? To what end? If the season’s goal was not varchie, b*rchie was already there waiting at the beginning of the time jump! Why abandon that plot? In terms of romantic varchie time, that was extremely limited, since after their kiss in 5x7, Veronica’s divorce kept them apart until 5x17 … Why have Archie being extremely jealous of Chad, Veronica getting involved in all of Archie’s schemes (firefighters, bulldogs), Archie getting involved in Ronnie’s (rescuing daddykins) or Veronica telling her father she chooses Archie over him in 5x17? Also, for those who remember, there was this by the-writer-who-shall-not-be-named.

The reason of the break up is as ludicrous as Veronica moving into Archie’s childhood bedroom (with its effing slanted roof!) on the premise that long term the Andrews’ residence has more room! (By the way, I don’t know what surprised me more: that Veronica thought that Archie and uncle Frank would know who Ina Garten is or that Jughead didn’t.) Why is Veronica astounded by Archie’s involvement in the same activities he has been involved in all through the season?! For f***’s sake, she’s the one that gifted him the fire truck!

Ok. Now let’s give 5x18 j*bitha a try.

For me, 5x18 could either have gone bugheadwards or j*bithawards. J*bitha had some heartfelt talks, a hand touch, a hallucination and a kiss. Bughead had one unfinished heartfelt talk (the only one in the whole season for Betty), two shoulder touches, two hallucinations and Jughead attempting to reconnect with Betty (without specifying what his intent was, it's true).

While I do think that j*bitha is a ship that has been adequately teased, the way they were explored in 5x18 was … not underwhelming exactly (after all, they’re not my ship, so I didn’t have any expectations about them) but … maybe lukewarm is the word? They had but minimal dialogue, only enough to establish that Tabitha’s parents were in town. Then a song where Tabitha initially rejects Jughead, although she had been supportive before. Then another song, where the lyrics were heavily altered and didn’t make much sense anyway (we hadn’t been properly introduced to the Tates) but where the original lyrics were very compatible with Bughead’s history and state of being as of 5x17. The kisses were ok, I have no problem with the actors’ chemistry. But -and this is strictly a personal opinion- Jughead’s flirting scenes (not the make-out ones, you perverts!) with Cora were better and so was the j*bitha kiss in 5x10. For the 5x18 j*bitha to flow, more dialogue and more flirting was necessary (always a persona opinion). So, no, I don’t think j*bitha were supposed to sing what they sang in 5x18.

Production for s5 wrapped up one week after the official announcement of the 5 special episodes for Riverdale and The Flash: “we expect it will take us until Fall 2022 to get back to a regular schedule” was the official quote. Re-organising the cw’s overall schedule didn’t happen overnight. Yes, more likely than not, the writers knew about the specifics of s6a before shooting 5x18-5x19 and had time to re-write them.

2. The couples spoilers for s6 do not make sense plot-wise.

If the end-goal for 5x19-6x1 had been b*rchie, j*bitha and v*ggie all along, these were pairs already happening (except from v*ggie) at the beginning of the time-jump. As for v*ggie, last time we saw them, Veronica pulled a face when she heard that he had had (still has?) an affair with Hermosa. And what about Nana Rose?! (ok, that was a joke! ... or was it? 👀)

The majority of both the fans and the general audience are bugvarchie shippers. Teasing b*rchie and j*bitha as a means of maintaining the viewers’ interest in a will they/won’t they way, only works if the audience finally gets what they want. In this season. Not the next one! There is so much trolling one can take after all. In the space of 1.5 year (4x17-5x19) b*rchie will have been teased ... THREE times (and still lacking build-up)!

I cannot myself see b*rchie, j*bitha and v*ggie as endgame couples. For the audience to invest in them after 4 years of bugvarchie, the writers have to a) give j*bitha an absolutely incredible development that will surpass bughead and the cinematography to go with it (good luck with that) and b) undo Archie’s character (highly unlikely) and/or give Betty a lobotomy (at which point a lot of people will quit en masse, because Archie as The One All The Girls Want just doesn't resonate with the majority).

I have no idea if s6a is an AU or not. But if it’s not, no one will be left to watch 6b.

Can I guarantee a bughead endgame? Of course not. I have no idea how the minds of the Riverdale writers work. But I do think that Jughead and Betty getting back together is more than wishful thinking.

Fervently shipping Jughead/Betty, Jughead/his book and Betty/therapy, sincerely yours, @raymondebidochonlifechoices

I hope you have fun with the Riverdale universe regardless, dear anon. Riverdale has given us one of the most beautiful getting-together stories in s1 and lots and lots of beautiful canon bughead afterwards. Here's to many more! Much love to you!

[sweetestlamb]

Flashlight

Author's note: Wasn't episode 8 just lovely? I just couldn't get this out of my head, they're becoming so dependent on each other. Be still my beating heart. They're reminding me of my MoonMun couple so much and I think that explains my obsession and the amount of fics I've written thus far lol.

Summary: Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"Are you okay now? Is there someone there?" He moves towards the dark alley that she came bolting from looking as frightened as he's ever seen her. He feels his muscles coil ready to protect her by any means possible. But before he can move she's tightening her hold on him, clinging to him now he can feel her warmth all around him like a blanket.

"No! Don't leave me." Hearing that scared plea causes a blurry memory to resurface in his mind, he can almost feel the words swimming in his mind but the memory is foggy and it evaporates as quickly as it formed.

Strange.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere. Let's go inside." He starts to maneuver her toward her house at first she moves with him but then she stills, letting out a small sound of recollection.

"My phone." She whispers into his chest, they are pressed so closely he can feel her heartbeat still pounding through her chest into his. He strokes her back in a lazy soothing manner, shocked when she melts into his embrace further. Nothing is making sense at this moment but he doesn't care enough to stop, this.

"What about your phone?" He redirects the conversation and she continues, "I dropped it in there when I ran away."

"Okay. I'll go get it, wait here." He starts to gently untangle her hands from his flannel but she lets out a whine, gripping his shirt even stronger and moving with him.

"I'll---let's go together."

She's trembling now, positively shaking in her spot and he wants to argue with her to just go inside and wait for him but her earlier plea echoes in his ears. He can't leave her alone not right now, so he steps forward feeling her move with him, one step after another until he sees the rectangular object on the ground.

"I'm going to bend down to get it." He can feel her shifting beside him looking around wildly but thankfully no ominous figure appears, they are alone.

After a moment she nods, letting go enough for him to bend and retrieve the device and he checks the screen noting happily that it's not damaged but when he touches the screen it doesn't turn on so he tries again.

"It's dead. I forgot to charge it." She admits, taking the phone from his grasp.

He turns to her with a sharp stare, "You stayed out late after what happened and didn't charge your phone? Are you that fearless?" He chides, frustrated with her lack of awareness and disregard for her safety. If anything ever happened to her he would.... He would.......

"It wasn't on purpose. I didn't realize. I know it was irresponsible."

It's not a response he's expecting, the Hye Jin he knows would argue back, hardly taking shit from him ergo her meek uncharacteristic reply makes him feel worst, he shouldn't be blaming her especially after seeing first-hand how scared she is.

"Let's go inside now, it's cold and you're shaking." They both know the temperature has very little to do with her tremors but she doesn't disagree and carelessly he enters the code when they reach the door, ignoring the jolt in his chest that erupts as he enters his own birthday and the door clicks open. He thought she would have changed it by now.

He's grateful she hasn't.

They both take off their shoes, standing side by side now her arm around his waist and his around her shoulder. It's a small space and they can barely move but they work around it, reluctant to release each other.

"Thank you." Her voice is barely above a whisper, he thinks that he almost imagined it. He had an excuse prepared this time, he was merely patrolling and happened to pass her house. That was the lie he intended to go with, but something in her voice stops him from saying those deceitful words. He's tired of hiding and making up excuses for being around her.

"You're welcome. Here sit down, I'll make you some tea." Thoughtlessly he moves towards the kitchen, taking two steps until he can't move anymore. She's holding onto him tightly, he turns around looking at her small closed fists and then her trembling pretty face.

With a soft sigh, he takes her hand rubbing a thumb across the smooth skin.

"Just come with me." Immediately she steps forward pressing into his back, he tries to calm his heart taking the teapot and filling it with water, then he opens the cabinet retrieving a mug and setting it aside.

"I like honey. And a squeeze of lemon." He smiles at her soft demands.

Now that sounds more like his dentist. The bottle of honey is in her top cabinet and he grabs a fresh lemon from the fridge cutting it in half.

They stand silently as the water boils and he finally feels his anger boiling away as well. Angry that he was almost too late and that his town isn't safe anymore, angry that someone was able to shake this immoveable woman.

The shrill ringing of the teapot breaks him from his impasse, on autopilot he pours the water on the tea bag, then squeezes the honey in the steaming water, "I like a lot of honey." She's attached to his back her voice vibrating straight through him, he freezes when she wraps her arms around his waist. Her closeness is messing with his mind, but he tries to finish his job and get them on the couch maybe with some distance between them.

For his sanity.

"Let's go sit down." He grabs both mugs walking over to her couch, placing her cup on the far right and taking a seat on the far left putting a sea of distance between them. But immediately she sits down right next to him, leaving no space between them she might as well be in his lap. He squirms in place, standing up to get some reprieve but she grabs his hand staring up at him.

"Where are you going?" Fear bleeds into her voice and he lets go of his hesitations, tonight is not about him.

Leaning over he grabs her cup, tugging it closer.

"Nowhere, I'm not going anywhere. Drink your tea."

She blinks slowly at him before nodding and bringing the warm beverage to her lips. Her hum of satisfaction warms him all the way down to his toes.

"It's good. You really are good at everything." He preens at the compliment, thinking of all the times this week he wasn't needed or was cast aside for Director Ji. He's been swallowing his jealousy all week. So her words fill a hollow space in his chest.

He watches her drink the entire cup, ignoring his own growing cold on the table.

"I need to charge my phone." She suddenly says and he stares before nodding, taking the opportunity to drink his lukewarm tea. But then he notices that she's not moving despite having the phone and charging in her hand.

"What's wrong?" He raises an eyebrow in confusion.

She looks embarrassed now, unable to meet his eyes and he's flabbergasted at her reaction.

"Come with me?" He stares at her, feeling the same pride bloom as when she sat next to him instead of her sunbae, she's leaning on him.

He spots an outlet across the room, "Okay let's go there." She looks relieved at his lack of teasing, together they walk over to the outlet and she bends to plug in the charger and puts the phone on the ground.

In seconds the phone comes to life and he feels a sharp pain in his chest as a barrage of messages light up her phone, the majority from one person. When she clicks to open the message he instinctively looks away, not wanting to witness their conversation.

"He messaged so much." Her voice is filled with awe and childishly he moves away. He'd almost forgotten that she didn't actually need him. He was just conveniently there.

"I should go now. You're safe. Make sure to come home earlier from now on, maybe ask him to walk you home." It hurts to utter those words but it's easier than being replaced later, it's okay if he's the one that pushes her away first. "I'll see myself out."

He stands ready to leave, pointedly not looking back before he changes his mind and stays forever.

She was just scared, tonight didn't mean anything.

He grabs his fallen bagpack thrusting it on his shoulder, hopping into his boots all ready to head out. But it's unusually quiet, the silence is so deafening that he can't stop himself from looking back over at her. It's a mistake, a huge one at that. The phone has fallen from her hands, abandoned to the side and she's looking at him with the most desolate stare he's ever seen, moisture pooling in her huge round eyes.

"What's wrong? Why are you cry--"

"You said you wouldn't leave me. Why are you changing your mind? What if someone is still there? What am I supposed to do without yo--u?" Her voice cracks on the last word and his heart follows, she needs him. Nobody else has this week but here she is breaking down because he tried to leave, she needs him.

His decision is made for him in that moment.

As soon as he's close enough to touch she's clinging to him once again, he only absently realizes that she's trying to lead them to her bedroom but even he's not saintly enough for that so he stops her.

"Let's go to the couch. You'll feel more comfortable."

She doesn't question him seemingly happy to follow his lead.

The couch is comfy but definitely not intended for two grown adults, leaning over the arm rest he tries to get situated and once he stops moving she's snuggling into his side curling around him like a cat.

"Whenever I was scared, my mom used to stroke my hair."

He stares at the wall in front of them, wondering if she's aware of just how many lines they're crossing tonight- no catapulting over. But he's tired of second guessing himself so he stops thinking and just listens, bringing the hand that is curled on her shoulder up to her head before dragging his palm down her soft hair, gulping when she moans at the ministrations.

Her breathing starts to deepen and he feels her body losing its tension, she's falling asleep and once she succumbs he can finally make his escape, that's his plan. But he doesn't expect her to start stroking him too, her hand delicate on his chest.

"You've worked hard. Stopping a scammer and saving me all while recovering from a cold."

It's nothing. It's what he's supposed to do.

But it feels so good to hear those words, words that he hardly heard growing up.

"Go to sleep." He says instead of thank you, instead of kissing her like he's wanted to since he saw her outside and she ran straight into his heart.

It's a miracle but she listens to him, drifting to sleep her head heavy on his chest and he knows that he should wait a few minutes and try to extract himself but he can't, not tonight. Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"You're making me want all sorts of things." He whispers to her sleeping face, terrified of her and all that she makes him feel. Feeling emboldened by their almost kiss initiated by her, he pushes her hair behind her ear taking a second to really looking at her face. She really is that beautiful. It doesn't seem fair. Leaning down he presses a soft kiss to her forehead, her skin is sleep warm and perfectly smooth. He presses a second one shamelessly. Her lips are right there and heavens knows that he's tempted but he can't take advantage, can't bring himself to do anything else. That's enough.

He doesn't know when he fell asleep but he wakes up to Mi-seon throwing a blanket over them, he keeps his eyes tightly shut mentally berating himself for that leaving when he had a chance.

"Just friends my ass. Just admit that you like him, look at the way you're clinging to him."

Somehow they traversed further down the couch in their sleep, both laying horizontal now with her body on top on his and her head tucked under his chin.

"I've never seen her sleep so peacefully though. She looks so young."

He tries not to think too deeply into what that might mean, listening to the retreating footsteps of her roommate and feeling himself losing the battle with sleep. She'll probably be embarrassed to find them this way tomorrow but that's a hurdle for another day.

Just for tonight I'll hold her. Until I'm not allowed to hold her anymore.

[migilini]

Roadtrip - Charlie Gillespie

a/n: just a daydream I had when I saw this GIF. It’s not proofread. I’m open to requests.

Words: 2k

---------------------------------------

You and Charlie were on a road trip from LA to Oklahoma and last to Chigaco. Your boyfriend had to move there due to the fact that he got cast in a movie and you were fortunate enough to move with him, being able to work from home. It wasn't your idea to drive all those miles via car, but Charlie doesn't like flying so he avoided it at all cost and because you love him, you accompanied him for those dreadful hours.

It was way too early for your liking, of course Charlie knew that and put up with your grumpy, nontalkative mood, simply shoving a large cup of coffee into your hands. “Ma cœur, how much longer until you're more awake to talk to me?” Charlie asked after a while, as he glanced over to you on the passenger side, his free hand tracing little hearts on your thigh. You yawned and took a sip of the now lukewarm coffee. “About this much.” You measured the amount still in the cup, making him chuckle.

You and Charlie have been dating for nearly one and a half years now, however it feels like it's been much longer. From the start, the two of you were attached at the hip, instantly comfortable around each other. Everybody said that you two moved too fast because you moved in with each other after only three months of dating, but because of Covid you didn't want to risk being apart. Even though objectively speaking, you and Charlie were not the same, you were more daydreaming than actually paying attention and you didn't need the adrenaline in your life, you completed him in a magical way.

Right now you two were two hours in, the coffee was empty and you ass already sore from all the sitting. It was something you always despided about yourself, you could spend all day laying in bed, but you couldn't sit still, changing position every now and then. Tapping your foot to the beat of the song streaming from the radio. Charlie calmly hummed along to the song, his fingers also tapping along. You looked over at him and couldn't love him more.

“Are you excited to see Owen and Jer?” You asked him, breaking the silence. A breathtaking smile overtook his face “You know it! How about you?” You nodded, also excited to see the boys again. “Mhm. I missed them a lot.” The song on the radio changed and you huffed in annoyance, you hated that song. Sensing that, Charlie took out his phone and connected it to the car.

“Charlie! Don't drive and be on your phone!” You snapped it out of his hand, giving him a displeased look. Scrolling through Spotify you eventually choose a song to your liking. 18 by OneDirection blared through the speakers, while you put the volume higher you turned in your seat. “I have loved you since we were 18. Well technically 20 but that's a detail.” You whispered the last part. He scrunched his nose in amusement, a quirk you loved dearly.

The two of you screamed lyrics at the top of your lungs, the car driving on an empty highway. The rest of the world fading away, leaving the two of you in a cozy little bubble of your own. The day continued just like that, the two of you singing to songs and just enjoying the company. You loved seeing him drive, something about it was just so attractive to you, maybe it was the way his arms flexed when he moved the wheel, or the fact that you yourself were unable to drive. Even with your 21 years of life, you refused to sit behind the steering wheel and Charlie had tried several times, it always ended with you in tears.

“Do you want to stop somewhere to sleep? It's getting kinda late and you have been driving the whole day.” you questioned, looking at the horizon as the last beams of yellow and red vanished slowly. “Yes please. Can you search for a hotel around here?” Nodding, you took his phone and went onto google maps.

“There's one about two hours away in New Mexico. Reviews look good and the price isn't too high. Sadly no breakfast included, so we're gonna get you something on the road, not gonna let you starve, otherwise I will be stranded here.” He gave your thigh a playful slap and a squeeze “Yeah, yeah love you too, Char. I will look it up… Ah perfect! There's a Dunkin Donuts five miles from the hotel. Does that sound good babe?” He hummed in approval.

“Ah a man of words!” he took one of your hands and gave it a light kiss. “You know me. I always wanted to be a Mime.” he joked.

Before you knew it, the car came to a stop in the pitch black. Only a little yellow neon sign lighting up the hotel parking spot.

“This looks like this one Teen Wolf episode…” you murmured, not feeling the best about this place. “You’re just saying that because you're scared of the dark ma cœur. I'm here to protect you. No Monsters are harming you tonight.” he teased, getting out of the car. In typical Charlie fashion, he walked around the car and opened your door and held out a hand for you, immediately intertwining your fingers. 

You smiled up at him, squeezing his hand. “Ha ha…”

The two of you were happy to finally walk off the stiffness of your legs, as you walked over to the reception. 

“Hello. We would have a room please.”

The receptionist was in his late 30s, his greying hair falling messily in his eyes and a big smile sat on his thin lips. “No Problem. Is a king bed alright with the two of you?” he didn't want to assume anything. You and Charlie chuckled, nodding slightly “Preferred actually.”

Five minutes later, you waited in the room 345 while Charlie insisted on getting your bags. Stretching, you tried to get rid of the soreness in your back, your eyes nearly falling shut.

Charlie opened the doors, giving you a tired smile. “Let's get to bed. Tomorrow we rise early!” you groaned, making him chuckle. Standing up, you walked over to him, your arms wrapping around his familiar frame. He was stroking your head, giving it a kiss before walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

In the meanwhile you changed your clothes, changing from some jeans and one of his hoodies to sweatpants and an oversized shirt. 

You gave him a hasty kiss as he came out of the bathroom, smelling the mint of the toothpaste still lingering on his lips. After you washed your face and brushed your teeth, you let yourself fall into the bed. His arms sneaking around your waist, pulling you closer into him. 

“Thank you.” Turning around to face him, you traced his features with your fingertips “For what?”

“Coming on this drive with me. You could have easily convinced me to fly, you know.”

“I know mon amour.” you said, looking into his eyes, as you tried your best to keep yours open. You left several kisses on his bare shoulders until your lips met his. He smiled into the kiss and then nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, pecking it several times before stopping.

“Good night. I love you.”

“Good night babe. Love you more.”

The next morning came way too fast and you didn't want to move out of his comfortable and safe arms into the cold car, but you had to. The sunrise hadn't even begun, the sky still a dark blue, when the two of you drove into the Dunkin drive through, to get you a coffee and a donut. You had to have something sweet in the mornings.

“Actually, I saw a little restaurant on the way here that should have takeaway, do you mind if we take a quick stop?” you shook your head, trying hard not to fall asleep again. An idea ignited in your head and you sat up straighter. “What if we go live while you drive? Maybe I'll be more awake or I'll have stuff to read.” you requested, looking at your boyfriend with a slight pout.

“Sure thing. I'll bet they'll love it.” Smiling, you grabbed his phone from his hand and went into Instagram.

“Hey Char and y/n here.” you introduced while trying to balance the phone on the dashboard “Its freaking early and I’m nearly falling asleep so I thought you guys could entertain me a bit. Mister Gillespie over here isn't as interesting as you guys.” he pouted into the camera, you leaned forward quickly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The chat was already flooding with hey’s and questions about your relationship and where you were going.

“Is it true that you sometimes talk french to Charlie?” you read from the chat, your eyes widening a little in surprise. 

“Sometimes. I mean my french isn't the best but growing up in Europe, I picked up some stuff.”

“She’s just being humble, she understands a lot and her accent is hella cute.” Charlie piped in, pulling into the drive through he mentioned earlier. “Je vois que tu comprends." He said to you, a slight smile playing on his lips. You got lost in his eyes for a second before responding. “Of course I understand babe!” he grabbed your hand and kissed it softly while chuckling. 

“OMG that was just so cute!” you read out loud from the chat. Blushing slightly, you giggled, “He loves to do stuff like that when he’s driving. Always showing affection in one way or the other.”

“Uhm next question...What are you two doing so early? Someone asks.” with an raised eyebrow you look over to your boyfriend “I think you can answer this.” you turned the camera a bit so he was more in frame. “We're going to Chicoago, Chigacoooo.” he quoted the iconic Victorious scene, his eyes scanning the road before him.

He got himself a cheese thing of some sort, you couldn't quite make out what it was and parked on the side of the road, getting his food ready in front of him.

He bit into his cheese thing while you sipped on your coffee conversing with the chat. Just earlier you had begged for music suggestions, telling them to send their best road trip songs. Charlie looked really good right now, his hair was pulled together in a bun and he was wearing a blue shirt. You on the other hand had your hair in a top bun and the same hoodie from yesterday, a wool blanket draped over your shoulders. You just wanted to ask if you could have a bite, when he got cheese all over his chin. 

He laughed as he looked over to you. Before you knew what you were doing, you leaned forward in your seat. Your face mere inches away from his, you could feel his breath on your face. You stuck out your tongue and licked the cheese away, your eyes never leaving his. 

Without giving it a second thought, you settled back into a comfortable position and took a sip from your coffee with a prominent smirk on your face. Leaving a dumbfounded Charlie and a screaming chat.

Not even an hour later the clip of you licking his chin, in maybe a bit of a too sexual way, went viral in the community.

[cannedbread-arts]

✨The bad batch season 1 personal vibes✨

The finale aired today and I wanna get my overall feelings regarding the season out of the way before i repress it all.

My overall feeling is kinda lukewarm, while the first episode and some other eps were absolute bangers i never felt like the show hit that same level of excitement the first episode did. I  feel this way due to many of the expectations i had after the first ep werent met. But im sure everyone had expectations that werent met so that isnt really a fair critique, but compaired to what was given instead i cant help but feel like there where many missed opportunities.

The first issue i had being that this show isnt really about “The bad batch”, most of the screentime and character development is given to Hunter and Omega whilst Wrecker got some smaller moments here and there. But Echo and Tech might aswell been replaced with a cutouts. Tech only served to give exposition or come up with escape plans whenever the plot called for it and echo....was there. And Crosshairs case i find the most aggrivating, how can you give one of the characters the most intriguing plotline and show us the absolute bare minimum? When one of the biggest aspects of the show is showing the rise of the empire why would not parts of that be shown through Crosshairs pov? 

So despite the show being called The bad batch its more focused on Hunter and Omega. Personally i didnt find their relationship intressting enough to be main focus of most episodes. Reason why i feel that way is partly because we have seen this format before, the parent-child dynamic is nothing new in star wars especially in the last ten years with Anakin-Ahsoka, Kanan-Ezra and Djin-Grogu. what could have improved this would have been to have more of the other batch members take part in “parenting” omega, instead of having Hunter act as the sole parental figure. This would have allowed for more characters to shine and show more aspects of themselves we might not have seen before, like what would it look like to have Tech try to console Omega after a difficult mission? What skills could Echo teach Omega to make her a better Batch member?

Another aspect i disliked is how it felt like alot of episodes where just filler, so much time was spent with the Batch flying around the galaxy doin odd jobs, many of those episodes focused little on the charactersation or development of the cast. The few story relevant episodes we got were few and far inbetween, ill never forget having to wait 3-4 episodes for a follow up on the war crimes Crosshair commited.

Whilst im on the topic of crosshair, i found it a little dissapointing how crosshair was basically turned into just some grunt villian, the first ep sets it up to make it look like crosshair was gonna be a real threat to the Batch, but instead Crosshair is just treated like Team Rocket and every time him and the Batch cross paths they treat it like its sotcha inconvenience. 

The bad batchs lack of agency regarding crosshairs rescue was another factor i took issue with, in the finale Hunter tries to make it seem like him and the rest wanted him back but in no point in the show apart from an short comment in episode 4 did they express in anyway they were planning on getting him back. And it makes it even more frustrating when they were able to rescue an ex-seperatist and a whole family from right under the empires noses but never once was the question about their brothers rescue ever brought up. It just felt like the writers purposly gave the characters dementia and just completely forgot about their brother who, for all we knew, was being kept against his will within the empire.

In regards to the finale, i kinda hated it at first but came to like after three rewatches. There are still many uncertainties like it not being completely clear wether or not crosshairs chip is actually out or not with how he keeps clutching his head (like boy you need a aspirin?) I was majorly mad they left him again but its probably gonna be apart of some bigger character arc for him next season. And the other batch members feelings regarding crosshairs supposed ‘betrayel’ still need some exploring.

Overall the show was fine, but with many of the characters lacking in screentime and the focus feeling off i felt like it could have been better. Will i still watch season 2? Yes, because i still like the characters and hope to see more development but most importantly i still want my dream family reunion between the characters. I dont like being left in a bad mood and would appreciate it if Filoni fixed it, thanks :)

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Day 1

Prompt: Your soulmate’s name is written on your wrist or palm. 

Word Count: 1,455

Main Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01,​​​ @spoopy-turtle,​​​ @lizluvscupcakes,​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​, @i-cant-find-a-good-username, @vindicatedvirgil, @star-crossed-shipper, @justaqueercactus, @gayboopnoodle, @sanderssidesweirdo

Soulmate taglist (Send an ask to be added or removed!): @elizabutgayer, @melodiread, @tsshipmonth2020, 

Virgil has always kept his soulmark covered. It wasn’t like there was anything wrong with it, he just didn’t want his life to be ruled by it. He kept his leather cuff on so he didn’t know what was underneath it. In theory, he knew that a name was written on his wrist and he thought he knew who’s name it was but he’d never seen it and didn’t really want to.

That was, until he’d met Logan. When he’d met Logan, they’d gotten off on the wrong foot, almost feeling like complete opposites. Where Virgil was shy, Logan was confident. Where Logan knew what he was talking about, Virgil second guessed himself at every opportunity. Over time, they learned their commonalities: both having a love for science, being on the same intellectual level, both introverts, both quiet. When they’d figured out that they weren’t so different, they’d teamed up for their final project in college, getting a better grade than either had ever gotten individually. After that, they’d kept in contact as friends.

Neither had ever removed the leather cuff that had been around their wrists since they could read. So, they fell in love naturally. They moved in together after a few years of knowing each other. Logan was the one who proposed. It was after a quiet night in, empty takeout containers still on the coffee table, the end credits of an episode of their favorite show rolling over the screen. It was quiet and private and perfect.

Now, Virgil’s doubts were starting to creep in. He didn’t want them to, but he couldn’t help it. He tried to block the thoughts with loud music or hot showers but nothing worked. Instead, they were always in the back of his mind, always whispering to him. Thoughts of unworthiness, of Logan finding his actual soulmate and leaving Virgil for them, of Logan coming to resent Virgil for not being his soulmate.

This was how he found himself sitting at his kitchen table, Logan out getting groceries. He had his wrist sitting on the table, the latch for the cuff facing upwards. All he had to do was take it off and, he hoped, the doubts would go away and he could go on with his happy life with Logan.

He took a deep breath and unhooked the latch, letting the leather fall away. On his wrist, written in handwriting he would recognize anywhere, was ‘Logan Croft’. He sighed in relief, slumping against the table. Logan was his soulmate for sure, he should be able to rest easy at night now.

Only, he couldn’t. The doubts in his mind weren’t satisfied, instead, they were picking up in volume. The thoughts still circled him like vultures, telling him Logan might be his soulmate but he can’t be sure he’s Logan’s, that he might have another out there that would treat him better. It didn’t matter that the chances of that were extremely low, he should know having had soulmate studies as his major, nor did it matter that Logan loved him no matter who’s name was written on their wrists. The thoughts were still there, still nipping at his heels. He stood, the cuff laying abandoned on the table, and moved to unload the dishwasher, hoping the task would take his mind off it. He ended up blasting music and challenging himself to clean as much of the house as he could before Logan came home.

By the time his fiance walked through the front door, he’d managed to clean the whole downstairs and was working on the bedroom, cleaning out the little nooks and crannies as he put everything back in working order. Logan’s footsteps on the stairs were drowned by the almost pulsing music Virgil had going, Logan’s knock went unanswered. It wasn’t until he turned the music off that Virgil finally noticed him. He stopped the almost manic sorting of the shoe rack that’d been neat before he’d touched it but was now color coded and sorted by size.

Logan sighed. “It must have been something bad for you to resort to cleaning the clean stuff.” He held a hand out to help Virgil to his feet. “Wanna talk about it?” His eyes glanced down to the bare wrist attached to the hand he was holding but he didn’t mention it, much to Virgil’s relief.

Virgil just shrugged, shuffling forward in a request for a hug. Logan wrapped his arms around him, holding him as tight as he could and laying his chin on Virgil’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the feel of the other in their arms. Virgil couldn’t help but wonder if this was the last time he’d get to hug Logan like this.

When Logan pulled away, Virgil was able to see tear stains had appeared on his shirt. Virgil sniffled, wiping his eyes. “Sorry.” He muttered.

Logan shook his head. “It’s nothing that won’t be fixed in the wash. Do you wanna talk about it?”

It was Virgil’s turn to shake his head, stepping around Logan to head down the stairs. He heard the bedroom door close and figured Logan had decided to change out of business casual. Virgil found the cold stuffs had already been put away so dealt with everything else before getting started on dinner. Logan came down and sat at the kitchen table. Virgil glanced up from the cookbook in front of him. “How was your day?” He asked in as neutral a tone as he could manage.

Logan nodded and began talking about his students and their familiar antics throughout the day. As a college professor, Logan had many anecdotes about students and some faculty. Their evening progressed onward in the same fashion, Virgil working on making a meal while Logan distracted him as best he could.

When Virgil placed the plates on the table, Logan gave him a squeeze around the waist and a kiss on the forehead. “Thank you.”

Virgil just nodded, sitting down only to pick up his fork and feel like he’d puke if he tried to even take a bite. Logan paused, his food laden fork halfway to his mouth. Sighing, he put it down and uncurled Virgil’s hand, holding it. “What’s got you so down, darling?”

Virgil felt the tears well up again at the endearment, part of his mind still telling him he doesn’t deserve it. His vision blurred and the next thing he knew, Logan was kneeling by his side with an arm around his waist. He took the time to calm down, silencing the thoughts with much difficulty. When he felt like he could speak again, he turned to look at Logan. “I guess we do need to talk about this.” His voice was watery but strong.

Logan nodded, standing to sit in his own chair, hand never leaving Virgil’s. “I noticed you took your cuff off. Is that what this is about? Am I not-”

Virgil couldn’t bear the end of that sentence, sitting forward as if he could push the words back into Logan’s mouth. “No, you are! It’s just,” he sighed, “I don’t know if I’m yours.”

Logan nodded. “It’s about time we found out anyways.” He released Virgil’s hand to unlatch his own leather cuff. He twisted his arm so the inner arm was facing Virgil, showing him the words written in Virgil’s scrawl, ‘Virgil Strand’. “It’s you.” Logan picked up Virgil’s hand again, kissing his knuckles. “It’s always been you.”

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief, his mind finally coming to a standstill at the news. “I worried . . .” His voice trailed off as he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

 Logan nodded in another instance of seeming to read Virgil’s mind. “Even if my wrist said someone else’s name, even if your’s said someone else's name, it would still be you. We choose our own fate, not destiny, not some birthmarks. We still love each other and that’s all that matters right now.”

Virgil smiled, leaning over the table and the forgotten meal to kiss the man he’d fallen in love with. “Thank you. For being here for me, for always knowing what to say, for understanding me.”

Logan smiled, kissing him again briefly. “Always.” He finally released Virgil again, picking up the now lukewarm plates. “I’ll go heat these up. Be back in a few.”

The rest of the night was spent as domestically as their engagement night was, both falling asleep curled in the other’s arms, Logan’s head on Virgil’s chest. Virgil slept with a smile on his face and a hand carded through Logan’s hair. Logan fell asleep with a hand over Virgil’s heart and a matching smile on his face.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

So I finally made it all the way through Trust episodes 1 and 2 last night and I feel like I had some kind of filmmaking revelation about how deeply who you position as the protagonist influences how we perceive a story. I mean, this is stuff that I knew and I have talked about before, about how who you choose as the protagonist is the most important decision you make when creating a story because you’re telling us where we’re supposed to place our empathy and who we’re supposed to have hopes and fears for and who this narrative belongs to. But it’s striking to find an example that illustrates this so clearly.

Film language has a certain grammar that we’re used to reading whether we’re conscious of it or not, and the order in which we see things has a lot of power to shape what, and who, we perceive to be important. At the beginning of a film story, we’re used to seeing: Here’s a person! Now, here’s their problem. Watch how they try to solve it despite obstacles. That’s what this story will be about.

If you just watched the first episode of Trust and then I asked you to tell me what you thought the show was about, you would probably say it’s about Getty the eldest and his succession problems. The first episode sure sets us up to think that he’s the protagonist, which is a problem, because he’s not just a horrible person I don’t want to spend time with; he’s boring. He’s boring in a narrative sense, because he has no real obstacles in his life. He’s surrounded by people who are at his beck and call; he has all the power in every relationship around him, and so there are no real stakes for him, dramatically.

Lucky for us, he is not actually the protagonist. Little Paul and Primo are. They’re co-protagonists with parallel stories. They are the people whose wants we are following throughout the story. Little Paul wants to get out of this kidnapping alive, and Primo wants the ransom money. And the person standing in the way of both those things happening is Grandpa Getty. Functionally, narratively, he is the antagonist in both of their stories.

(This is why there are so many moments where, despite the fact that Paul is Primo’s prisoner, we see them hoping for the same thing to happen, and it sort of glues them together emotionally--both for us the audience and for the characters themselves--in a really interesting way.)

If you watch episode 3 as if it were the first episode of the series, who the protagonists are is really obvious, because we meet Little Paul and Primo, in sequences that tell us a lot about them, back to back right at the top of the episode.

If you watch the series in order, Little Paul’s character introduction happens when he shows up at his uncle’s memorial service in jeans. He is introduced in relation to Old Paul and Big Paul, as a problem and a disturbance in their worlds.

If you treat episode 3 as if it were the first episode of the series, Little Paul is introduced in his own world, living the kind of life he wants to live and having a blast. Then, we very quickly see his problem (he owes money to dangerous people) and we watch him try to solve it, fail several times, and then come up with the kidnapping idea which launches the main plot of the entire series. If we view it that way, everyone else in his family is introduced in reference to him, which is actually an accurate reflection of the structure of the story.

If we put episode 1 after episode 3, episode 1 suddenly becomes a lot more interesting. Because it’s no longer a story about Old Paul and his rich people family problems, it’s a story about Little Paul trying to get money from this rich asshole, money we already know Little Paul needs to solve a very urgent problem in his life. Suddenly the stakes are very clear and very high, and the whole episode is actually a microcosm of the main plot of the series as a whole. Little Paul needs a comparatively small amount of money to get himself out of a life-threatening problem, and his rich-as-fuck grandfather won’t give it to him.

Switching the POV and storytelling order around also gives episode 1 something it sorely lacks if you watch it as the intro to the series: suspense. Because we already know before Little Paul arrives at Sutton Place that he’s going to fail, and this will put him in the predicament that launches the main plot on its way. But Little Paul himself doesn’t know he’s going to fail, and we the audience don’t know how he’s going to fail, so things like the scenes of Little Paul charming his grandfather in various ways suddenly become interesting, because we’re waiting to see how and when all of this will blow up in Little Paul’s face. Even scenes of Old Paul being horrible to various people become ways of heightening the stakes, because we’re thinking about the fact that Little Paul’s life depends on getting money out of this motherfucker.

Big Paul also suddenly becomes more interesting, because the only thing that elevates him in this story from pathetic self-involved wallowing to a passably interesting tragic figure is the way his emotional self-involvement damages other people, particularly his own son. Now, instead of Little Paul showing up as a problem in Big Paul’s story, it’s the other way around. Viewed this way, Big Paul’s actions in episode 1 become a way of foreshadowing his actions in episode 7, which I think is a really effectively-told tragedy. Episode 7 ends with Big Paul finally doing the thing he’s been wanting to do this whole time, which is stand up to his father. But he manages to do it in the most selfish and destructive way possible, in a way that puts the lives of all of the characters we care about at this point at risk--Little Paul, but also Primo and Leonardo--and launches us into the tension of the pivotal episode 8.

Switching the episode order also makes a whole bunch of tiny details in episode 1 pop. We know Little Paul is lying when Old Paul asks him if he does drugs, so we’re waiting for that lie to blow up. The crucial detail of the Playmen magazine shoot is also highlighted, because we’ve already seen this photoshoot in the opening montage of episode 3 and we recognize the damning cocaine t-shirt instantly.

In addition to being an exercise in how directing the audience’s POV controls our emotional experience of a piece of media, this is also a really good example of how telling a story non-chronologically, in a way where the audience already knows how a plot point resolves, doesn’t kill the tension but can often heighten it. And in general this is something that Trust is very effective at--perhaps most masterfully so in episode 5, where we spend the entire episode knowing that Little Paul and Angelo are not going to successfully escape but still get extremely invested in them trying.

As for why the creators set the series up in a way that foregrounds the least interesting characters and buries the natural starting point of the story in episode 3...I don’t know. Desire (or pressure from the network) to frontload the actors who were best known in the US? Confusion about how (un)interesting these rich people actually are, and why? Who knows. But I think this contributed a lot to the mostly lukewarm critical reception when the show first came out (especially knowing that most reviews were only based on the first three episodes, which is what critics were allowed to see in advance of the premiere.)

In conclusion, now you have the correct viewing order for Trust; thanks to Luca Marinelli for being compelling enough to make me skip to episode 3 and get invested in this show; and if I ever teach a filmmaking class I am definitely using this as an example when teaching a lesson on suspense, POV, and choosing the most interesting protagonist.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X5

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’m going to go right ahead and say it. This episode felt like a PSA to me, but it was well done. It was emotional and impactful and the storyline about Bailey’s Mom made me tear up, but at the same time the episode felt very stagnant and I feel like the lives of the other characters didn’t really move forward or go anywhere. It felt like they were all standing still. I liked the conversations between Jackson and Richard and Bailey and Maggie about how COVID has impacted black and brown people more than other races and how unfair that is and how politicians and decision makers need to pay more attention to that.

I loved the conversation between Bailey and Maggie. I liked that they addressed what happened with Maggie’s Mom because that storyline bothered the heck out of me. Maggie treated Meredith and everyone else horribly when all they did was try and help and then she forced her mother to undergo treatments she didn’t want because Maggie couldn’t handle the fact that she was dying and then they just dropped it. I’m glad to see that make a comeback and that Maggie has recognized that what she did and the way she behaved was wrong and is now using that experience to help others.

I loved their comments about guidance counsellors and others assume black people aren’t as bright or as capable as white folks and how insidious that is. It’s not something I’ve experienced myself as a white person, but I’m glad they’re highlighting it. This episode was written by Zoanne Clack who is a black woman and a former E.R. Physician. The previous episode was written by Julie Wong who is an Asian woman and I think it’s great they are utilizing the talent that they have so that people of colour can share their stories and their experiences on a global scale. 

By telling these stories through the lives of characters we know and love and can empathize with it allows people who will never have these experiences understand a little bit more. Representation is important and this show has always done a really good job in my opinion of highlighting important topics and social issues in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. These characters are fictional, but their stories are taken from the lives of real people and I think an important step in the process of creating a better fairer world is creating media that reflects people’s realities in order to cultivate empathy so that people who might not otherwise understand or get it have a window into that experience.

Maybe it changes their mind. Maybe it doesn’t. But the point is that it opens people’s minds to the possibility of seeing a side that they didn’t before and that is half the battle when trying to get people to understand someone else’s experience or point of view. I’m going to be seeing my family this holiday season virtually and in small groups from a safe distance. As is the case for many visiting with relatives over the holidays means having to listen to a lot of ignorant opinions, frustrating statements, and in some cases racial slurs and inappropriate remarks. 

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to handle that this year because my tolerance for that crap has gone out the window. All this to say it’s nice to see good people fighting the good fight to get these stories out there to a global audience so that maybe some people will get it and maybe some good will come of it. And even if it doesn’t seeing characters and stories that represent you on screen is powerful and moving and wonderful and we all deserve that. I teared up watching Bailey suffer with the deterioration and death of her Mom.

The end scene where Bailey describes the patients she’s lost to COVID in the voice over while her and Richard sing ‘My Girl’ to give her Mom that moment of peace and a death with dignity got me. It really put a face on the disease. Watching her and her Dad struggle with it was so hard. I loved Bailey’s voice over where she shared info about the COVID patients she’d lost so far and who they were not just their disease. That was well done. Made me tear up.

I loved the talk between Meredith and Bailey at the hospital and on the beach. This episode wasn’t as shocking as the previous ones, but it was still good. I’m glad Meredith is getting better. I will miss the beach, but I’m excited to see her wake up, get better, and hopefully spend some time with Hayes. Which brings me to my chief complaint with this episode which is where the heck was Hayes?!?! This is the second episode he’s been absent from for no discernable reason and no explanation has been given as to where he is.

I did not sign up for this. A big part of the joy I felt when they announced that he was being upped to a main character was the implication that he was going to be given his own storylines and character development outside of Meredith and his relationships with Abigail, Liam, and Austin. But Hayes being absent when Meredith’s not awake robs of him that. Don’t get me wrong. I love Meredith and Hayes together and all I want is for them to be together and live happily ever after.

But, Hayes has such a rich and interesting backstory and there’s so much to explore there. Richard Flood who plays him brings such a wonderful depth to the character and he deserves to have his own story apart from Meredith and I really want to see him interact with the other characters more. We’ve seen him interact significantly with Jo and Bailey, but I’d love to see him interact with Maggie, Amelia, Jackson, and Owen more. His absence this episode reminds me of the episode after the Conference Episode last season where he was suddenly missing for no reason and they didn’t explain where he was.

I’m confused because he was upped to a main character just before this season started so he should be in every episode or almost every episode like the other characters are. I’m starting to get concerned that the actor who plays him has fallen ill or tested positive for COVID-19 or that he’s dealing with some kind of family emergency and so they had to cut him out of the episode last minute. I hope I’m wrong, but I honestly can’t think of another reason the actor would be missing for upwards of 2 to 4 weeks when these episodes were filmed.

I can’t see his absence being a story choice because it doesn’t make any sense and they haven’t addressed it on screen as they usually do when an actor has departed or needs time off and they have time to write that in. He also doesn't appear to be in the promo for next week’s episode which is strange considering it shows another meeting being held by Richard where some of the other department heads can be seen and we get shots of most of the other characters. After the Premiere aired he appeared in the promo for Episode 3 standing outside Meredith’s window and in that episode we saw them have a heart to heart that I thought was really beautiful and lovely.

At this point it’s unclear if Meredith even knows that Hayes is the one that found her and got her help and is distraught over her condition. He’s the head of Peds which is a pretty important department. Where the heck is he? They can gladly write off other characters in the second half of the season to give him more screen time in my opinion. I really hope the actor and his family are okay.  I’d also hate for his sudden absence to wreck Meredith’s storyline.

I love their friendship and flirtations and I’d hate to see her wind up alone or with someone that clearly isn’t right for her and that she doesn’t really love because something unexpected happened with the actor. I really really hope he’s in the mid-season finale next week! Jo suddenly declaring that she wants to quit general surgery to become an OBGYN came out of nowhere and makes no sense to me.

She spent years being with and then married to the Head of Pediatric Surgery and was decidedly lukewarm on the idea of having kids or even being near them. So her and Alex split and in the wake of that she randomly decides she wants to be an OBGYN and deliver babies? What the heck? I’m also confused because I feel like Hayes should have been there because it was a Peds case and he wasn’t and if Jo wants to re-specialize it would make sense for her to talk to Carina or Hayes.

Carina’s a main character on Station 19 and is still reoccurring on Grey’s so she can talk to her for an episode or two, but anymore than that and I think that would fall under Hayes perview because he’s a main character. But he’s currently MIA and we don’t know why. I did love Jo’s scenes with Levi though. They’re always hilarious and I think they bounce off of each other really well. I’m glad that Tom improved and apparently isn’t dying.

I like him with Teddy and I hope they get back together at some point. I’m glad they are choosing to be friends again. More than anything I want Teddy to pick a lane here. Owen or Tom. Pick one and go with it. Stop flip flopping all over the place like a fish out of water. Teddy’s a hot mess these days. I liked Amelia’s speech to Teddy. She has feelings about what Teddy did and didn’t do, but as she says she herself has done horrible things, some of them involving Owen, so she’s not in any place to judge, but she also doesn’t want to be friends with Teddy or really talk to her. And that’s fair. I have to say I love Amelia post-tumour. She’s great.

Also what happened to Casey Parker the resident from last season who was transgender and former military? I really liked him! Where did he go? I’d much rather see him that DeLuca or Nico on screen. Based on what I caught of next week’s promo it looks the COVID situation at Grey Sloan is about to get worse. We see Richard addressing staff in the cafeteria saying that they need to prepare for a surge of patients and that their patient load could double. We’re in May in the current Grey’s timeline so that fits.

It’s apparently also a cross over. I don’t want another cross over. I want to know where the hell Hayes is! And it looks like Amelia is back in the OR and the doctors are treating two teenagers who were kidnapped and held captive. Yikes! And we see Meredith smiling at someone on the beach before suddenly waking up. My guess is that it’s Derek and we are finally going to get to see them embrace and then Meredith is going to return to the land of the living. And hopefully interact with Hayes.

Until next time!

[jellyfishinc]

Good Morning Everyone

Before I begin, I just want it on the record: I am a 26 year old middle class white girl who is only talking about the movies mentioned from a moviegoer’s perspective, and is not in any way shape or form trying to suggest she knows anything except her personal opinion.

Since by now Disney Pixar’s Soul has dropped on Disney+, and judging by the reactions I’ve been seeing, that no doubt that means we’re all worried about how well it’s going to do overall with the general public, and are no doubt worried in the long run it’s going to be labeled as another flop.

But I what I really want you folks to remember is that some of the best films were also initially labeled as cinematic flops, or as doing mediocre at the Box Office, and all it took for them to be respected as such was that same thing we’re all wishing we had more of: Time.

Example 1: The Nightmare Before Christmas

To date, there’s still debate on whether it’s a Christmas movie, Halloween movie, or both, despite the director’s official statement on it. Tim still gets fan mail thanking him for making it, claiming it saved their lives.

If you haven’t already, I suggest you go watch the episode about it from The Holiday Movies that Made Us, so you can get a good look at all the time and effort that went into making this movie into what it is.

Even with all the initial lukewarm reception, it’s a classic film that still holds up, even after all this time, and it was made by misfits, for misfits.

Example 2: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty remake

A lot of people legitimately forget that this movie even exists, but I have noticed that once they’ve actually tracked it down and given it a fair shot, a popular reaction I’ve seen is, “Why didn’t this do so well if it’s so great?”

And I have to say, after seeing it myself, I have to agree. It has a message that I know for a fact that many can relate to, especially if you’re like me and are still at a stage in your life where there’s so much you want to do with your life.

I have no doubt that given even more time, this movie will come to be given the respect it deserves.

Example 3: Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Note: In case it’s not obvious already, I do have a bit of a soft spot for Tim Burton films, but that doesn’t make what I’m saying about them any less important.

I won’t go as far as to say that it was necessarily a flop, but I do know for a fact that it was heavily criticized by people who had already made up their minds to hate it because the original film had already been around for a long time.

And for those that may come across this post: I respect your opinion, and I won’t waste your time listing all the complaints people had about this film, but I want to at least touch on a few that stand out, because because I feel like there’s some of you out there that are judging it too harshly because you don’t know the full extent of everything that happened with both films.

The first one: Roald Dahl hated the original film, so much so, that the planned sequel that would’ve followed Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, was promptly dropped. It’s because of that that after he’d passed, his widow flat out refused to let anyone else touch the story again.

And that didn’t change when she was approached by Tim Burton about it, either. But because it’s Tim, he clearly knew how skeptical she would be because of it, so he was very respectful and showed her some of the concept art he had drawn up for the film.

Her reaction? She LOVED it. In particular, the design for the Bucket house. If any of you wondered why it looked so crooked and funny, there’s actually a reason for it. Tim had it specifically designed after Roald Dahl’s famous writing shed. And it was that that convinced her the story would be in good hands, and she gave him her blessing to make the film.

Number two: Johnny Depp’s Wonka Portrayal

Many have criticized his portrayal as being too weird and a far cry from Gene Wilder’s portrayal, which for many believe is what ruined the remake.

For the record: I used to agree with you, until I saw a very in-depth analysis that managed to show me what I had missed initially.

Essentially what it said was that it’s actually a more accurate idea of what would happen to a person who willingly shuts himself away from the outside world, with only his workers for company.

And I am absolutely not to make light of where America is right now, but consider: we all make jokes about how we’re all going to be an antisocial wreck when we’re finally allowed to resume like normal, having not seen hardly anyone in person in weeks, maybe even months at a time.

Now imagine instead the pandemic lasts for years, from when he had to let everyone at the factory go, all the way to when he finally decided to reopen to a select few. What do you think a person who goes through something like that would look like?

Like it’s shown in the film. And on top of it, he’s also portrayed as someone who suffers from flashbacks of traumatizing moments in his life, and while I personally don’t suffer from them, according to those that do, it’s a very accurate portrayal.

There's also a whole analysis I did about how this Wonka has undiagnosed autism, but I'll be nice and just say a lot of his personality suggests it.

But like with the other listed films, more and more people have been revisiting this film with this new knowledge and found it’s value.

But please don’t take this as me bashing the original, because that’s not what I’m trying to do. If you still like the original even after knowing all this, that’s fine. You’re more than welcome to say so. All I want to do is share the truth.

Example 4: How the Grinch Stole Christmas, live action adaptation

I've seen everyone including the Nostalgia Critic have nothing but disdain for this film, and it seems to me that it's largely because of the same problem Charlie and the chocolate factory did: they thought the original was better.

What I have to say about it is they both have equal value, and to me still have the same message, even if the live action remake came at it from a different angle.

In the original cartoon, the Grinch just hated Christmas and that was that. The Whos loved Christmas, and that was that. Even when she Grinch stole everything, the Whos were still happy. And it's my firm opinion it was just a reflection on the time period it was made, in that Christmas was just a holiday to celebrate with family and friends.

In comparison, the live action remake was more of a reflection of how Christmas was already rapidly changing into the commercialized holiday we have now. And in that regard, it's incredibly clever to set up the film like this, because, again, with time, we start to sympathize with the Grinch more, because most of what he says about how people treat Christmas is true.

Some were okay with him hating Christmas just for the sake of hating it, but if you can invent a backstory that's not only plausible, but relatable, then I'm all for it.

So now that I’ve taken up about 5 minutes you’ll never get back, what does this all mean for Soul?

Only that even if it does flop, it will be in good company, because flopping has proven to be a rite of passage for many of the great films, and given enough time, it will get the respect and recognition it deserves.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk :)

[bereft-of-frogs]

Who are your top 5 mcu characters and top 5 star wars characters? I guess is may change sometimes, but for now. :)

oh goodness. this is an excellent question. I think it probably will change, especially for Star Wars as I continue my rereading of the old book series stuff, digging back in and what-not; but also for both as new things are released. (I’m now like ‘omg the whole of the Wandavision crew needs way more consideration for this top 5 list than I ever thought I’d give them what’.) Sorry it’s taken a couple days! This was hard.

Putting it under a cut for length:

MCU:

1. Sam Wilson. This was really hard to choose between all of Team Cap because I love them all equally, but out of the three Winter Soldier crew, I love Sam the best. ‘...if you eat that sort of thing’ ‘So do you like cats?’ ‘I hate you’  #iconic

2. Loki & Thor. Okay here’s where I cheat a little, because I couldn’t choose one and not the other.

3. Valkyrie. I just love her. (Debated putting Hela here instead, because I also love Hela in a similar but opposite way, if that makes sense?)

4. Nick Fury. Fine in Avengers, loved him after Winter Soldier, loved him even more after Captain Marvel stripped down his cool exterior and revealed him to be a bit of a dork who liked cats and was willing to help with the dishes. I hope we get to see more of him.

5. Wanda. Oh my God, Wandavision just came out of nowhere with the Wanda feels, didn’t it? I will say I was lukewarm-neutral on her, and then Wandavision recontextualized so much of her story and made me feel so much about her.

Honorable Mentions: all of the Guardians of the Galaxy because I couldn’t just pick one; Captain Marvel herself came close to getting Fury’s spot (’I have nothing to prove to you’ sobs); Vision was another surprise ‘oh no where did these feelings come from’ character post-Wandavision, (same with Darcy wth happened); Jimmy Woo should get his own series I will sign the petition

Star Wars:

1. Mace Windu. Okay this is an deep abiding love. How could I not love him when I was 10? The man had a purple lightsaber. (Purple was my favorite color, that was pretty much the extent of my character analysis back then.) This has only been confirmed as an adult by all of Shatterpoint. This is officially a Mace Windu appreciation blog.

2. Obi-Wan Kenobi. How can you not?

3. Qui-Gon Jinn. I left the fandom for like 20 years and came back and apparently he’s ~~problematic~~ and yes I will finally admit it, this is the character I’ve been vague-ing about the AO3 tags being a cesspool. He’s just such an interesting character...and that has apparently translated to ‘he’s the worst’ which okay thanks for letting me know I won’t like your fic but...man, the ‘Qui-Gon was literally the worst’ is suddenly everywhere and I’m confused. (again ‘suddenly’ I haven’t been super active in this fandom in a while, it might not have been sudden. Not quite 20 years but it’s been a while and I never noticed back then, idk if it’s a new development or just the product of me trying to sift through AO3 instead of relying on recs...anyway that’s my #confession for the day)

4. Cassian Andor. Okay partially for superficial reasons because Diego Luna is distractingly pretty. But I also love the more serious take on the rebel who knows that he has to get his hands dirty for the cause. He and Jyn’s embrace on the beach at the end is honestly one of my favorite Star Wars moments.

5. Din Djarin. He’s just a man trying to get an education for his son and know as little as possible about the plot of Star Wars, who accidentally ends up winning in battle the rulership of a planet he’s never seen. Poor man. He’s just doing his best. I can’t wait for next season.

Honorable Mentions: K-2SO was hilarious and the rest of the Rogue One crew should technically share the spot with Cassian but Diego Luna is just so pretty; the nanny/assassin droid that Taika Waititi played in The Mandalorian because I always surprise myself by crying when he sacrifices himself in the last episode; literally every female character because my list, like James Luceno, impressively does not pass the Bechdel Test (oof I’m aware, I get it, but I had to narrow this down to 5, and I’m sorry); special mention to Bo-Katan even though I’ve only seen two episodes with her in them (I didn’t, and honestly probably won’t, watch The Clone Wars) but also I might just have a crush on Katee Sackhoff...

Narrowing these down to 5 was super hard, this was quite the challenge, and I only cheated a little there, thank you anon. Sorry it’s taken me a couple days! This was hard! XD And I’m sure it will be updated as things progress with the Marvel series coming out. Also I just got a PS4 and Jedi Fallen Order from my brother in the mail, yes I did have him ship his old PS4 across a closed international border so I could play Fallen Order (and also nothing else is giving me serotonin any more and the internet suggests trying something novel to get the serotonin molecules boogieing, so let’s see if my video game redemption arc is a go).

[craftypeaceturtle]

Way Too Adult

Summary: Thomas is having... another crisis. Oh, this is going to become a pattern isn’t it? Thankfully, Patton finds him and helps to ease him into the world of... adultery adulthood.

Note: Part two of Sanders Sides retold. Don’t need to read part one, it’s literally Sanders Sides retold as university students!

Previous Episode --- Next Episode!

.

He was putting it off. He knew very well that he was putting it off. But then again he was really good at putting things off. Hell this was the most time ever he had spent on his lectures. His notes were less scrawled than usual and actually highlighted facts and key methods. Who knew spending more time studying could result in better notes... Sighing very loudly with his eyes screwed shut, he got up from the chair and slumped over to the kitchen. No use putting it off any more.

Patton was sitting there already while scrolling through his phone with a bored expression and perked up at him. Thomas froze. Patton smiled awkwardly before his brow naturally quirked up.

“Hi Thom-”

“Yes I have worn this shirt for the entire week! Let’s move on!” 

Thomas blushed violently and threw himself into his cupboard. He stared deeply into the cupboard. Yep, nothing had changed. But also he didn’t really need to go shopping. It was fairly full but yet it always like he was missing a part for every dinner. He had pasta but no sauces. He had a jar of curry sauce with no rice. Curry pasta? Maybe that was a meal? He had tins of tuna but no mayonnaise or really anything else. There was a weird stain that his eyes kept flicking to. It was a splatter of green. 

“...and then the house caught on fire and everyone exploded. It was really intense.”

“Wha?” Thomas gawked.

“It’s okay Thomas,” Patton giggled it off, “You alright? You’re usually not this distracted.”

“Yeah, sorry. As per usual, I think I’ve accidentally agreed to do something that I absolutely can’t do.”

“The YouTube thing again?” 

“Hah, not this time,” Thomas frowned and opened his cupboards again. Yep, nothing has changed. Yet his eyes searched as if he was seeing again for the first time ever. 

“Okay, promise not to judge,” Thomas joked but Patton nodded like he was being trusted with the secrets of the universe, “You know I’m going home for the weekend? Well... I shall be the only one of the four brothers there. So naturally, my dad has asked me to help cook a dinner. He thinks university has actually turned me into a responsible adult or something! Here’s the thing though... I still don’t really know how to cook.” 

“Okay,” Patton cracked his knuckles menacingly, “I’ve had enough of this! Do you know how often you say you can’t cook? Lot’s of times! Do you know how often you try to learn how to cook? Zero times.”

Patton gently bumped into him so he could peer into his cupboard himself. He must’ve felt the same though as he tutted and started shuffling through the disorganised stacked cupboard. “Not true! There was that one time a few months ago when... you’re right. It’s already a bad sign that I have to go back that far,” Thomas mumbled.

“Thomas you live off microwavable meals and takeout. It can’t be good for you! I’m sure Logan would be able to lecture you on exactly how bad it is. But I’ll save you the time! C’mon I can help you,” Patton smiled as he finally untucked from the cupboard. Dumping some different ingredients on the work surface, he winked before plucking Thomas’ open bag of pasta. 

“No wonder you’re the dad friend,” Thomas quietly laughed  before standing lamely in front of the pile. 

“Well, just think of me as your sense of morality really firing back at you with a vengeance today!”

Patton stood with his hands on his hips with a bright smile while Thomas rocked back in his heels. There was a bag of open flour, milk, butter and pasta. “Right, do you know what a roux sauce is?” 

“Noooooo,” Thomas finally wailed and flopped on to the counter. Patton laughed before trying to pull him back up, “This is not my day today...” 

“It’ll be okay! It’s the easiest thing ever! It’s just a really simple pasta sauce that you can then add stuff to if you’re feeling saucy!” Patton winked again while Thomas tried to hide his smile, “Cheese is an obvious choice but you could add garlic and onion and all sorts. I know pasta in a sauce doesn’t sound very fancy but trust me. People think you’re some incredible amazing chef if you make you’re own pasta sauce. Even if it’s only three ingredients!”

Thomas simply smiled in response and pulled himself up dramatically. He pulled out his kinda dodgy scales and turned to Patton with an expectant glance. Patton turned on the hob before relaying “It’s really simple. 50g of butter and 50g of flour. Then 500ml of milk! All 5s!” 

“How do you even remember that? Do you just know recipes off the top of your head?” Thomas gasped, stars shining in his eyes.

“Well, I’m not lying Thomas. It really is simple. Once you do it... even twice then you just remember it off the top of your head.” 

They settled into measuring the ingredients with Patton occasionally perking up as he gave feedback. “Now we’re going to gently boil the milk. Gently, so at a low heat. At this point you could add all those fancy ingredients like garlic or onions in the milk but we’re keeping things easy! See, we’re just a couple of adults mak-”

“AAH!”

“What!” Patton suddenly lurched forward. Thinking Thomas had somehow managed to burn himself by just pouring the milk in the pan. 

“Why you got to say that!” Thomas joked but his heart had sped up. He wasn’t an adult. He couldn’t be an adult. 

“What? Adult?” 

“Ah, yes! That’s the scary word!” 

“No it’s not! We’re both adults here! I mean you’ve moved out of your parents and going further into your education. You can probably do more adult stuff than you realise. Like... can you change the oil in your car?”

Thomas almost looked hopeful for a second but deflated at that, “No.”

“Can you pay your rent on your own?”

“Oh no! I still phone up my dad!”

“Well how about removing bugs from your bedroom?” Patton asked as he peered into the pan to check the milk but he looked up once Thomas didn’t respond. Thomas was standing there, arms folded, with a sarcastic look, “Yeah that’s a no...”

“Oh what am I going to do!” Thomas cried out and flopped on to the worksurface again, making sure he didn’t knock anything over. 

“Well it’s all in baby steps, like everything you’ve learned in life!” Patton smiled and knocked his shoulder again. 

Once the milk was boiling, they then realised that they hadn’t even started cooking the pasta (and after Thomas threw out another dramatic wail) they started another pot. They fell into a peaceful silence. Thomas added the rest of the ingredients slowly, as per Patton’s instructions, and he began to loosen up. This was easy. Three ingredients for a nice tasting sauce. He wasn’t entirely sure whether pasta in a sauce was good enough for his parents but he also knew that if he saw Patton making his own sauce then he’d be absolutely blown away. Maybe it was about time that he finally started to take an interest in cooking. He couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times he saw Logan cooking lasagne or some casserole and felt immediately jealous as he ate his lukewarm microwavable meat dinner. He chuckled without thinking, causing Patton to smile at him. “I treat the stove in the kitchen like a friend that I’ve been neglecting.”

“Nah, you’re okay!”

“Hey stove! Uh hi! Um... yeah I’m doing alright... Yeah. Yeah still not planning to cook. Anyway bye stove!” Thomas joked along and acted along with the oven that was humming loudly. Patton chuckled at him but he also couldn’t help but think that it rang a little bit true. 

“C’mon Thomas! You didn’t always know to do adultery things, and they came about because you took the time to learn. You can learn from your parents and the internet and I’m always here to help anyway I can. All of us are!” Patton smiled widely while he drained the cooked pasta. 

“Yeah I guess, adul- wait what?” 

“Yeah adultery. It’s not as hard as you think!” 

“Wait that’s not a thing!” 

“Really? I thought that was a thing?” Patton frowned, but his mind came up completely empty. Adultery was the word! Right? It had adult in the name. 

“Oh it’s a thing but not that thing!”

“Oh I’m too dyslexic to be a teacher, cooking or otherwise” Patton laughed it off.

“I think the word you’re looking for is adulthood,” Thomas corrected and Patton nodded before making him mix in the sauce. 

It was a weird moment serving up the pasta. It felt like it should be a really boring plain dish but, still, Thomas felt his chest swelling with pride. It was just boring pasta in a white sauce with some maybe stale cheese on top. The plate was chipped already. It should be boring. But both of them took a bite and immediately started squealing over how well it turned out. Surely that was good enough for his parents! “Aww let yourself celebrate a little Thomas! You did it!” Patton cheered while spinning around in a little jig. 

“It was only three ingredients and you just mix them all at once. It’s not anything...” He paused once he was hit with the full power of Patton’s menacing dad glare, “But it is pretty good.”

And that was good enough for now. 

[desdemonafictional]

2020 Fanfic Year End Summary

Hey ho let’s go

Nev does these every year and I think they’re interesting, so for the first time I’m gonna give it a go too. I feel like this has been the longest fucking year--the Zine feels like it was two years ago and last January feels like it was ten years ago.

I’m gonna answer some questions and do a little reflection on the year 

This year I technically finished Icarus with 2k words of a 36k story, and after that I went on to produce 197k words not even COUNTING the stuff from GPAU which I do not know how to divide up for 2020. 

That’s 23 fics in one year, 8 of which were cowriting projects. This year has been, objectively, insane. By comparison, in 2019 I produced 17 fics and at the time I thought THAT was doing pretty impressive work. Now it’s not my best year by sheer number of titles--2018 was an oil boom while I was into JTHM and I actually put out 25 fics that year, some of which were short oneshots and some of which were two- or three-shots. But in terms of words? 2020 knocked them all out of the park. Which is absolutely something I owe to my amazing friends who let me ride around in their brains like the parasite I am.

In 2018 I started cowriting with Chokopopo, in 2019 I started cowriting with Neveralarch, and in 2020 I just did a fucking ton more of that with no looking back. It’s so incredibly motivating to have someone to show your progress to! And to have someone to hand the project over to when you’re stuck. If I hadn’t had Nev to bounce off of, most of this fic wouldn’t have been thought up at all, let alone finished. And don’t even get me started on GPAU! Choko and Zephyr and me have done such amazing things with “Welcome! Everything is fine”, and I can’t wait to be able to wrap that up and leave it for posterity.

I switched job positions around July of this year, and it’s changed the way I produce fic. Not sure if it’s good yet or not. I was never actually under a stay at home order this year because I work for a state agency, so to a degree I’ve missed out on the ways that quarantine affected other writers. I think I was fortunate?

Best Title 

Ahhh this is tough, I put a lot of effort into my titles this year--I promised myself in 2019 I was going to stop using song lyrics for fic titles because they make songs loop in my brain and it’s self inflicted torment, which is a promise I... mostly kept. “Dress Your Idol in Gold and Ashes” is the one I put most effort into probably, because I kept toying around with it trying to find something that was evocative of the right pagan imagery, and also the idea that got me started on the fic was a passage in a text book about the daily dressing of an idol statue in ancient Egypt.

“Broke My Last Glass Jaw” gets special mention because I named it after an essay that I wrote in undergrad for my African American Lit course, in which I broke down themes of the spoiled american dream via the lens of 90′s rap.

Worst Title

“Take one for the Team” is definitely my laziest title. It’s just super self indulgent kink fic, no character arc or anything, so I couldn’t find a good image or phrase to bring in for the title. Also I remember I really wanted to post it quickly, since it was a response to some art I was looking at, and I wanted the artist to see. I’m sure I could have done better with the title.

I did end up titling “Fear and Delight” after a song but I forgive myself because I literally only wrote the fic because the song existed first.

Best Summary

Some of these summaries I wrote and a some I did not, but of the ones that I wrote I think.... “ I'm All Full Up on Yesterdays, Don't Sing Me No More Blues” is the best one. It launches you directly into the action, while preserving the surprise reveal at the end of chapter 1. I actually wrote chapter one with this summary in mind, so it was baked in there from the start.

Jazz turned in his seat, cube at his lips, just in time to spot the white pursuit vehicle steaming and panting in the doorway. “Jazz of Staniz,” the enforcer shouted, “surrender the matrix and come quietly!”

Jazz knocked back his drink. “Well!” he said to the open-mouthed bartender, “time to split!”

Worst Summary

I mean, summaries are hard for everyone, right? That’s the thing we all universally struggle with, I think? I usually end up liking mine, and this year I was less afraid to just let a section of the story speak for itself. Anyway the worst one is “ Broke My Last Glass Jaw” by virtue of the fact that I had to come back months later and add another line because I wasn’t satisfied with how it was reaching audiences.

After the war, Impactor is at loose ends.

(They were friends once, weren't they? After all this time, Impactor wonders if Megatron hasn't managed to forget.)

I really wanted that one line to say it all, but honestly it requires a lot of trust in me as the author and most of the people who pass by the fic in the archive aren’t gonna know me from adam. The second line clarifies what kind of story it’s going to be in terms of tone and theme.

Best First Line

I’m pretty ambivalent about most of my first lines. Since Nev already pointed out the first line in “ Apotheosis”, I have to admit, it is pretty good. It gets off to a real jaunty start.

“Excuse me,” Starscream said, striding down the steps of the senate chambers with his cape flaring out behind him, “get your cowcatcher out of his face, you tin-plated amateur despot, he’s with me.”

I also like the audacity of a run on sentence that is the opening to “ Desecrate You”

Ratchet clicks the video because it was auto-recommended, and because First Aid is always dropping hopeful hints that he wants her to watch his show when he’s supposed to be grading papers, and because something about the title (“This is Definitely a Hoax! None of this is Real! Short Cut Footage Episode”) makes her wonder why the hell someone who runs a Ghost Hunting youtube channel would bill their own hard work as a hoax right out of the bag.

Worst First Line

Definitely the least interesting is from “Tantric Sex, and Other Mysteries of the Divine”. I guess it’s another fic where I was really eager to get to the meat of the fic, and so I just went back after I was done with the fic and wrote a paragraph of bare bones setting context so we could move on already.

It’s game night at Swerve’s, and Nightbeat is out in the thick of the crew for once, getting the lay of the land.

I have the same problem in a few fics, which probably arises from the fact that when I read a fic, I often skim the first paragraph or so to see if I really want to commit to the read. So I sometimes write like I’m expecting the audience to do that too. I probably need to work on that. Man, I even did it in Sexy Staycation.

Best Last Line

I like endings! I usually have a good gut instinct for where stories should end, and how to pace that, and what image I want to close the fic on. Often times I’ll be writing a story and feeling really lukewarm about it, and then the ending will come to me, and I’ll feel totally won over by it. That happened with my Suicide Squad fic years ago. So this is for the most part me picking the best of the things I already like. “Broke My Last Glass Jaw” has a good pithy one; I like how it isolates this moment as a moment of choice, and how it’s also ambiguous whether he will change because of this or whether he’s doomed to go back to his predetermined pattern.

And despite the unguarded door and the empty inviting streets beyond, where no one wants or expects anything of him but his feterless bitter trog onward into the next waiting prison cell, Impactor lays down, and Impactor does.

Special mention goes to “ The Sky Dark in its Eclipse : Orange Light Remix”, because the ending section is one of the big changes I brought to the remix, and I’m really happy with how it alters the shape of the narrative and also how it changes the focus of Rung’s arc. Most of the actual words in this fic were written by Choko in 2018, so this is like a collab in slow motion--I changed loadstone moments mostly, some of the framing, all of the backstory, and updated the setting for Cybertron. But the ending is all me.

On the morning of Intro to Psych finals, while Hot Rod hums and taps and scrolls back and forth through his test on the front row of the testing hall, Rung will sit behind his desk and brush the dust from the rotors of his fateful archetype, and start the long process of putting the pieces together once and for all.

Worst Last Line

Again, I like my endings, so this is really the worst of the best. The original ending line I wrote for “ All Our Urgent Restless Sighing” was:

Deadlock’s finials twitched. “...I am a reasonable amount of interested,” he said, “in this topic.”

And in the beta process, Nev came back in and added the line about Ratchet and cuddling, which was a big hit with the readers it seems like. So clearly I benefitted from some help there haha!

Looking back, did you write more or less than you thought you would this year?

you know what, I definitely wrote more than I thought I would. I didn’t see “Don’t Sing Me No More Blues” coming at all, and that was once a month for most of the year. I was hoping that I would be able to write a few things outside of Transformers, because I always worry that my long spans of hyperfixation are driving away my longtime readers... and I did manage to get one hxh thing written that was good, and one hxh thing started that is mediocre so far. So I guess I’ll call that good enough.

 What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, just your favorite.

hmm I’m really proud of the Pharma chapter me and Choko put together for GPAU--the body horror, the tragedy, the lotus eater machine plot. But even though that felt like a whole ass story of its own, I guess it’s only a chapter at the end of the day. So my favorite story would be “Apotheosis”. It’s just SO much, and we had SO many things we wanted to do, and somehow we managed to do them ALL. Corpses! Children! God! It’s got everything! The only thing it doesn’t have is the idea that literally started us plotting out the fic. And that was “ritual public sex with Starscream and Rung”. Oh well. Maybe someday. Probably not.

Okay, Now your most popular story

Ha! I tend to view the success of a fic more based on its bookmark ratio than its hit count, but by the numbers, unsurprisingly, “ Don't Sing Me No More Blues” is my most popular fic of the year at a whopping 3k hits and 113 bookmarks. Well, it is jazz/prowl which means it has a built in audience of considerable size, and it also updated seven times this year which increases its net range, so no surprise. But I think people also just really vibed with it--it’s very much a product of the times we are living in, and I don’t think it could have been written in any year except for 2020. 

“Dress Your Idol” has 58 bookmarks, by the way. I’m extremely proud of that fic for having such a high bookmark to view ratio. I guess the people who did read it liked it a lot.

Story most underappreciated in its Time.

Okay nothing is as under-exposed as the stuff I produced in JTHM, so I’m definitely not complaining. It’s hard to think about leaving TF because TF is such an enthusiastic community. That said, “ Neggnog Cozy” did not get eyeballs. I’m not surprised, it’s short and it’s gen, and Thundercracker doesn’t have the built in audience of say Starscream. Still, I thought it was really funny and cute and I would have liked it if more people would have given it a chance.

Story that could have been better

Oh, “ Melusine Among the Tombs” for sure. I went into that with only the first chapter planned and immediately after realized that I had no idea where the fic was going and also I had lost my grip on canon characterization after a couple years going rusty in other fandoms. I plan to finish it eventually, but I need a better plan than “wing it???” first.

Sexiest Story

I wrote SO much weird kink this year. Like. Shout out to past me for writing some pretty spicy JTHM fic, but this year I really leaned into how weird you can plausibly get with an all robot all alien cast. 

“ The Sensual Machine” is the most unabashedly horny because it was written specifically for a weird kink themed zine that I was an editor on. “Desecrate You” is also quite horny but I almost exclusively wrote the frame device for that, so I don’t get sexy credit lmao. “Fear and Delight” was a big hit with all the hxh readers and I think it has an element of sexiness more so than pure horniness--its has a kind of glamour and style to it.

Most fun story

“Starscream's Sexy Staycation” is by far the most unabashedly comic and sexy and silly and low stakes. It has one of my favorite kinks, a beautiful stupid moment of Ratchet suffering, and Rung calling safeword which is something new and fresh and I want a lot more of it in the world.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

“ Lacunae” was given to me as a yule gift prompt with the express intention of explaining who the fuck Carmilla’s mother was, and what the deal is with Carmilla as well. This would have forced me to reevaluate my understanding of the novel except for the TEENSY insignificant fact that I realized I had never finished reading Carmilla, somehow, and ended up reading it for the first time in December in preparation for yule. So uh. Hmm.

I think “ Don't Sing Me No More Blues” made me think about Prowl in a different way. I wasn’t really expecting him to be this hard-edged idealist when I started out on the fic. He was originally going to be much more like the autistic coded Prowl of “The Cop and the Cryptid,” one of my favorite fics ever. Also, I started writing the fic about a month before the riots and police protest kicked off in America this year, and it really caused me to zero in on how Prowl being part of a system like that affects his relationship to the world and other characters.

Hardest Story to Write

“ Elegy for Actaeon of the Hounds” took me a total of six months to write from start to finish. I don’t know why. Well, It’s partly because there are three involved sex scenes and sex scenes are actually very difficult and time consuming for me to write. It’s also partly because I kept wanting it to have a character arc, and I kept getting stumped on how to handle that. Beauty and the Beast plot lift? Have Rodimus be a rabbit? Eventually I settled on the version that kept the cast tightly cinched down around Megatron and Rung, and I’m happy with the result.

Easiest Story to Write

When we were writing “Apotheosis” it felt like we were on FIRE, we were so productive and we started three other projects between us while it was in motion. But “Take One For the Team” was absolutely the most fun to write, it basically wrote itself

Most Overdue Story

“Champagne in the Final Days of Rome” was based off a conversation I had with Nev pretty early on in our friendship--Discord says it was June 2019, so that’s uhhh ten months between discussion to actual writing? And it still didn’t turn out to be the fic we were originally outlining, haha.

Oh god you know what was really the most overdue? The last chapter of “Icarus; or, Look Who's Digging His Own Grave”. It was literally a year, January to January, between chapter 12 and 13. For a while I thought maybe I was just going to have to leave it there, without resolving the time loop problem at all.

Did you take writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing for the zine was a big risk. I remember Nev had to reassure me at least twice that what I was writing wasn’t too weird or off-topic or embarrassing to be part of the project. Now, of course, I’m very happy with it. But my god I was nervous to post something that was like.... straight up actually bimboification applied to one of the most popular toy characters of all time.

What I learned from this is that people love horny shit, are READY to take a chance on a weird fic when its in the right wrapping paper, and when in doubt you CAN sell people on a kink they’re not really into by making the kink actually a reflection of a character arc. Are you writing this down?

Do you have any goals for writing in the new year?

Finish GPAU!!!!!!

I’d like to FINALLY sit down and do some hard work on my original fiction. I’ve been kind of waiting for the tf hyperfixation to wane so I could move forward, and I think that process is in motion now. But who knows. If Rung shows up in the new comics I might get nerfed again.

Other than that I’d like to write at least one fanfic that isn’t TF, and I would like to get this really crunchy Rung/Pharma fic off the ground so I can make some people CRY

[dhwty-writes]

Chapter 13 - A Broken Shelter

A lot of you are wondering how Geralt and Jaskier will get out of the marriage. All I have to say to that is… not yet! But! They talk! Also, there’s a picture of Janina, now.

Thanks as always to @persony-pepper for betaing this chapter. Have fun :)

Summary: Waiting for Jaskier in the woods is horrible. The news the Viscount delivers after are, somehow, even worse.

Read on AO3

prologue | previous | next

There were a lot of things Geralt didn’t enjoy about the world he lived in. Injustice. Annoying songs. Barkeeps who spit in his food. Not enough drink, not enough sex, not enough time with his brothers. Destiny.

But the list of things he truly despised was surprisingly short. It went as followed:

1) Lukewarm liquids. No fluid on this earth was meant to — or even could be — be enjoyed tepid. Ale was supposed to be cold, bath water hot, nothing in between.

2) Ciri crying. He hated the helplessness that came with that. The realisation that he, Geralt of Rivia, a witcher, was utterly unfit to take care of a child. Much less a royal one. Much less a royal one who began seeing him as her father of all things.

3) Jaskier being silent. Jaskier’s tirades were legendary, everyone who spent more than a few seconds in his company knew that. The bard was able to monologue about basically everything: a pebble in his boots, a torn seam, trampled flowers, lukewarm ale, and, most impressively, the rude behaviour his fellow humans spared for witchers. But when he was silent? That was when he knew he should be worrying.

4) Djinns. He’d only known one in his entire life but that one was responsible for his bard’s almost-untimely demise and the fucking curse that had ruined his relationship to Yennefer, and thus to Jaskier. No, he wasn’t taking criticism on that one.

5) Being incapacitated when something dangerous was afoot. He hated it. He was a witcher, created to stand between danger and humanity. And yet, more often than he would like, he couldn’t.

Like now. There was obviously something dangerous afoot. Elsewise he wouldn’t have been sent away. Was there something even more incapacitating than being sent away? The early-winter forest didn’t answer when he asked it as much.

“My point exactly,” he muttered, pulling his cloak tighter around his shoulders and continuing his trek through the woods. It was fucking freezing and he hated it. He didn’t really know where he was going, just away from Lettenhove, and then back again. Always circling the castle, but never approaching. 

“Fuck, Jaskier,” he cursed. He was still trying to make sense of the hasty ramblings the Viscount had uttered earlier. ‘There’s a reason witchers don’t meddle in human affairs,’ he thought gruffly, 'and it’s precisely this.’

A witcher’s life was a simple life. Pass the Trials. Complete the training. Set out on the Path. Kill the monsters, collect the coin. Return for winter. Repeat. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Humans were so damn complicated, noble ones doubly so. 'Beguiling, backstabbing bastards, the lot of them.’ They never said what they meant, shitting on the very  same hand they shook and then using it to rub the crap in your face.

'Never trust a noble,’ Vesemir had taught him. He was beginning to wonder why he’d never followed that counsel. Because somehow somewhere along the Path he had managed to amass a gaggle of them; he’d befriended one talkative viscount-turned-bard-turned-viscount-again, bound his destiny to one notorious runaway court mage, and practically adopted the heir-apparent to the Cintran throne. ‘The fuck,’ he thought emphatically.

And none of them were exempt from this nobility shit. No, on the contrary, as much as they pretended to hate their noble life, all of them actually seemed to at least momentarily enjoy their power— revel in it even. Ciri least of them all, but Geralt was halfway convinced that she didn’t actually understand the extent of her position. Yennefer and Jaskier on the other hand? No, they fit right into the stinking heap of horseshit that courts tended to be. 

And the longer Geralt stayed at Lettenhove, the less he understood the web of lies his former friend wove around them. He didn’t understand a damn thing of the intricate illusion Jaskier conjured with skillful words. And of course, the Viscount couldn’t be bothered to explain it. He hated it.

And the orders. Gods, how he hated the orders. Witchers weren’t made to follow orders, not from petty humans at least. From Vesemir that was another kind of story, but his former teacher could still probably wipe the floor with him, blindfolded and one hand tied behind his back. 

The fact that Jaskier could do the same in a verbal sparring match was quickly banished from his head. He was angry, and irritated, and… confused, for fuck’s sake— and it was all Jaskier’s fault; he didn’t need to comply with him on top of that!

Still, he had followed the order. Not because he actually recognised Jaskier as his superior, but because the Viscount had been scared. He didn’t like seeing Jaskier scared. Vinegar was a hideous stench on anyone, but mingling with the not-bard’s usually flowery scent? It made him want to retch.

So, he had gone. To appease his not-friend, he told himself. 'And because of the promise he gave me.’ If witchers were capable of knowing fear — which they weren’t, definitely not — it would have been what he’d felt when Jaskier had told him to leave.

Even remembering the words made him feel… weird. It made him feel weird. There even might have been a sense akin to worry, mixed with a terrible resignation that ‘this is where it ends.’ That that was the moment Jaskier finally decided he had enough of him, that sheltering him as well as Ciri was too much of a burden, too much of a danger to himself and his sisters, and so the witcher had to go.

Witchers weren’t afraid. But if he could be, he just might’ve been.

But Jaskier had promised, and so Geralt had to cling to that vow. No matter if it had sounded like farewell. He shook his head violently and thumped his fist against a tree to clear his mind. 'No, don’t think of that. You’ll go mad if you do.’

It was the early afternoon when he heard hooves, still a good distance away. But when he strained his ears, he could almost make out the conversation. There was a quiet background chatter and unmistakable laughter. 'Jaskier,’ he thought, and stumbled against the tree, overwhelmed by the wave of relief. 'Finally.’ His head was reeling with alleviation as he stumbled through the underbrush, desperate to get back to his bard, to finally know what was happening, to-

“Oi!” an unfamiliar voice called. “Wait for me, Roman. I’m going for a piss.”

He staggered to a halt. 'Do not come seek me if there is another person with me,’ he remembered Jaskier’s words, the tremor of fear that distorted his words, and the deep wrinkles that furrowed his brow.

'Shit,’ he cursed silently. He might not know what was happening, but if there was one thing he knew, it was Jaskier’s fear. And Jaskier’s silence. If Jaskier did not call for him, if Jaskier was not alone-

He tried to fight the worry churning in his guts. 'Jaskier has nothing to be afraid of,’ he reminded himself. 'Not from his liege, he said as much.’ It had been Geralt he had been afraid for.

And he had given him an order. So, Geralt turned on his heel and hurried away from the riders.

After that first close call, it became only more and more difficult to keep the worry at bay. Especially as the sun began to set. Treacherous thoughts from earlier that day rose as the shadows grew longer. Geralt wasn’t afraid of the night, of course. It was a stupid thing to be, as a witcher. He didn’t mind spending the night in the woods. He didn’t need to worry about never waking again for such a folly.

'But what if I wake and Jaskier still doesn’t come?’ his foolish mind supplied. 'What if he’s too craven to tell me to my face that I mustn’t return?’

Geralt was almost brave enough to spare himself the wait for the answer. He was almost brave enough to go right away, leave Lettenhove, Ciri, and Jaskier behind and forget them. Almost.

But as so often in the past months, Geralt had to discover that he was a coward. Again.

He couldn’t find it in himself to leave, so he found a clearing to spend the night— far enough from Lettenhove and the road that no traveller would happen upon him but close enough that he would still hear Jaskier approaching.

He didn’t light a fire, nor did he settle down to sleep. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t dare. When Jaskier came to find him, he needed to be alert. ‘If he comes.’

It was almost midnight when his patience was rewarded. There were hooves in the distance again. This time, Geralt didn’t leap to his feet to rush towards them. He did his best to forget that embarrassing episode, truth be told. This time, he waited.

The rider brought the horse to a halt no more than three hundred yards from where he knelt. “Geralt?” Jaskier asked without raising his voice. He could still hear him loud and clear.

Absentmindedly, he wondered how often he had already repeated that process while he listened intently for another human. When he heard none, he got to his feet, making his way towards him.

“I’m here,” he said once he got within earshot of a human.

“And thank Melitele for that,” Jaskier responded, squinting to make out the silhouettes outside of the narrow circle his torch illuminated. Geralt almost laughed. He was facing the wrong way. Not-not-roach pranced nervously where the Viscount held her loosely by the reins. “Where- Oh, there you are.” To his credit, he jumped only a little when Geralt lightly touched his shoulder. Even through the thick layers of cloak, doublet, and shirt he could feel the shiver that ran down the Viscount’s spine when he turned to face him. “I’d already feared you’d abandoned me.”

'As did I,’ he confessed in the privacy of his mind. “Never, my lord.”

“Good. That’s good.” He took a shuddering breath. 

Geralt didn’t know why he hesitated to remove his hand from Jaskier’s shoulder, just like he had that morning. It was odd, and he knew that he should stop but he couldn’t. Since when did he crave the casual touches Jaskier had piled on him. 'Since when do I miss them?' 

Before he had a chance to examine the strange fancy, he was forced to lift his touch as Jaskier thrust both torch and reins into his hands. “Hold that for me, will you?”

“How was your liege’s visit?” he asked while Jaskier climbed into the saddle again.

“Hm,” he answered uncharacteristically. “Let’s say it was a mixed bag. Some good, some bad. Overall, the good parts outweigh the bad, I reckon.”

“Hm,” Geralt answered in turn and handed him his reins. He kept the torch, though, and looked up at Jaskier expectantly. He didn’t say a word. ‘Great.’ So, it was on him to carry the conversation. Again. “Was this the bridge?” he asked, for lack of a better question.

The Viscount stared down at him in obvious confusion. “What bridge?”

“After you got back from your parlay,” he explained. 'And got drunk,’ he didn’t say, “you told me about a bridge. One we’d cross when we’d come to it. Was this the bridge, my lord?”

“Well, um… yes. Sort of,” he replied slowly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Not-not-Roach flicked her ears in annoyance. “It was the beginning. The first step across unsafe waters. It won’t get easier from here on.”

“Hm,” he answered. He hated those cryptic responses with a passion. “Care to elaborate?”

The Viscount tensed. “No,” he answered coldly.

Well, then. Nothing he could do about that. They continued their way back to Lettenhove. With each step Geralt fumed more; it was humiliating to walk while Jaskier rode. And in silence at that. Memories came back to him, of him snapping at the bard to shut up while he was babbling and humming and composing. The gnawing feel of guilt was hard to ignore.

It didn’t take long for him to break. “Don’t you think I deserve your honesty, Lord Lettenhove?” he spat out. “You seemed awfully concerned about my well-being for punishing me with ignorance now.”

“And you seemed awfully uninterested in my life for pestering me with questions now,” Jaskier quipped wittily. There was no real bite behind the words, though.

“It was easier to let you do the talking,” he offered up the tiny bit of truth. “Comes more natural to you.”

“And what about this situation makes you think any of this will be easy?” he shot back.

Geralt lowered his gaze. 'Nothing,’ he supposed. That wasn’t what Jaskier wanted to hear, though. “What do you want of me, my lord?” he asked quietly. “I- I don’t understand you anymore.”

Jaskier sighed and passed a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Geralt,” he admitted meekly after a while. “This isn’t fair to you, I guess. There’s just so much… It’s just a lot, alright?”

“Alright,” he answered in lack of a better answer.

“You are right, though,” he kept on talking. “I owe you honesty.” After a small pause he continued: “There will be others. Winters are seldom spent alone, as long as the roads are halfway safe to travel. And when they aren’t anymore, you stay where you got stuck until it thaws again. Now that two months since my father’s death have passed, I won’t be able to refuse invitations anymore. So, there will be guests in Lettenhove soon. And not all of them will be looking forward to sharing a roof with a witcher.”

“Hmm. I’m used to that.”

“I know, it’s just-” When he looked up, he could see Jaskier chewing on his lip. He hadn’t done that for a long time. “I’ll do my best to protect you. But I told you, you are not under my care, like Ciri is. I fear there will be blood spilt on my soil before the winter is done.”

He felt like he was suffocating, barely recognising the voice as his own: “So, are you going to throw me out?” That was what he had been waiting for, after all. The moment when Jaskier decided he wasn’t worth the trouble, when he showed him the door, when- His mind was racing, calculating already if he could still make it to Kaer Morhen. 'Never,’ he knew. By this time of the year the path was almost impassable, the Killer living up to its name.

“Goodness no,” Jaskier’s words shook him from his thoughts, “not if there’s another way.” The smile he shot him was almost playful. “I’d rather have you where I can see you, witcher. Not out there where anyone can just snatch you up and let you rot in some dungeon.”

He was still busy processing the smile and nearly stumbled over his next words: “Is there another way, my lord?”

The grimace that passed over his face was so utterly Jaskier that his earlier worries were almost forgotten. “I think so,” he said and wrinkled his nose. “You won’t like it though.”

Geralt shrugged. He didn’t like a lot of things about the present situation. The unbearable tension between him and Jaskier above all. “If it keeps me at Ciri’s side…,” he answered casually. 'And at yours,’ he didn’t say. He hoped his not-friend got the meaning all the same. “What is it, my lord?”

“I talked to the Count of Hangfelt. He gave me his leave to expand the Castle Peace to you. Isn’t that great?” He smiled artificially.

Geralt frowned deeply. “What’s a Castle Peace?”

“What’s a-” Jaskier spluttered and nearly fell off his horse. “Geralt, are you kidding me?” he asked once he had regained his balance.

He shook his head. He didn’t understand why that was such a big deal.

“No inhabitant of a castle might take up arms against another? All feuds end where the walls begin? The king’s peace holds no power over another man’s hall? Any of that ring a bell?”

“No,” he huffed. 'Great. More confusing noble fads.’

“No? Is that Redanian law, then?”

Geralt had no fucking idea. Did he look like a thrice-damned lawyer, for fuck’s sake? He wasn’t the one who had studied at a university.

Luckily, Jaskier didn’t seem to expect an answer: “The Castle Peace is what guarantees there is no bloodshed in Lettenhove. It’s what protects you from my sister’s wrath and makes sure I don’t wake to poison in my breakfast. It dictates that as long as you are within my walls no-one, not even the king, can lay a finger on you. It means the lord can grant you asylum.” He paused for a moment. “Well, in theory, that is.”

“In theory?” he inquired. He didn’t like the sound of that.

“In practice, I am not the lord of Lettenhove Hall.”

Geralt frowned. He’d learned that earlier that day already and that was still something to chew on. Lettenhove was drenched with Jaskier’s spirit to the core, so somehow, he had expected the castle to be in his family’s hands for centuries. Apparently, that was not the case.

“Might be, though,” he continued. “If all goes well.”

“Hmm.”

“Well, let’s not dwell on that. There’s… one more thing.”

“Spit it out, bard,” he growled. He hated it when Jaskier told stories in bits and pieces. It was his livelihood, for Melitele’s sake, he should be better at storytelling than this.

“Viscount, but alright,” he corrected him. “There’s an oath you need to swear.”

Geralt’s eyes snapped up. "Oath? What oath? You said no oaths.”

Jaskier at least had the decency to wince. “Ah, that’s not quite correct. I said a promise would suffice, for now. It doesn’t suffice anymore.”

He was fuming. 'Oh, you dirty, backstabbing little liar. Just you wait, you prick, once all of this is over-’

“So, about that oath,” Jaskier quickly continued. “It’s an old law, from the times when the humans first came to the Continent and hadn’t settled down yet. A wartime oath, forgotten by us, but still remembered by the Elder Races. Fitting for this time of bloodshed, isn’t it? You’d be, ah- protected like family. Much like Ciri is.”

He scowled warily. 'What are you not telling me, bard?’ He knew him long enough to tell when he was hiding half of the truth. “Where’s the catch?” he tried to ask as casually as possible.

“Ah.” The faint shadow of a blush crept up his cheeks and he looked away in embarrassment. “See, that’s the thing. It’s rather irreversible. One of its prerequisites dictates some kind of debt you can’t repay. And until you did your due, it won’t be lifted.”

Geralt scoffed.

Jaskier began babbling: “I knew you wouldn’t like it and I’m sorry. I can’t think of anything else, though, and-” It was almost endearing, reminding him much of how it had been before-

Then he couldn’t take it anymore. “Fine,” he interrupted him sharply.

“Fine?” Jaskier asked in plain disbelief.

“Yes, fine, my lord,” Geralt growled. He didn’t like it or anything but it wasn’t like he had any other choice. There was nowhere else he could go, and if that was what was needed that he could stay the winter, he’d do it. With a fucking bow and a smile, if need be. “You think my debts to you are high enough for that?”

Jaskier’s face was unreadable when he looked up. “They have to be,” the Viscount decided. He pulled on not-not-Roach’s reins as they stepped out of the forest and Lettenhove came into view. “I’ll draw the documents up tomorrow. As soon as Lord Hangfelt leaves.”

“He’s still there?” Geralt asked, not bothering to mask his surprise.

“He is. South Wing. Don’t go there if you can avoid it.”

“I won’t,” he promised. He observed the wistful look on Jaskier’s face, taking in the moonlit road. “Ride along, my lord,” he said softly. “I’ll find my way.”

He seemed to hesitate, looking doubtfully at the witcher. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” he answered and didn’t even hide his smile. 'Almost adorable,’ he thought, 'that he’s worried for me.’ Despite knowing fully well that he could see just fine in the dim light. Even Jaskier could, the moon was bright enough.

“Well, then,” the Viscount replied, gripping the reins a bit more loosely, “Jakub will show you to your new rooms as soon as you arrive. Goodnight, my witcher.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Goodnight, my lord,” he replied. And then he was off, chasing down the road at a breakneck speed that never would make Geralt’s heart not skip a beat. After a few moments of staring after him in the dark he continued his own way back to the castle.

There were more guards than usual when he finally arrived on the top of the hill. They barely looked at him before waving him through. Warily, Geralt took in the empty courtyard. It was peaceful. Tranquil, almost. He’d never have noticed the strangers’ intrusion if not for the horses tied down in front of the stables. Well, and the guards posted before the South Wing, that eyed him warily. He nodded politely and slouched off to the East Wing.

He almost gave in to the urge to go check on Ciri, but before he even reached the North Tower, Jakub was at his side. “Geralt of Rivia,” he said quietly and Geralt raised a curious eyebrow, “his Lordship offers his apologies. After such a strenuous day, he’s already retired.”

That was new. The grey man had never bothered with his name before. Now he even offered a tiny bow. 'Why the sudden change?’ he wondered. He shrugged as an answer.

“If you might follow me, so I can show you to your rooms, sir?”

He nodded gruffly and trailed behind him, all the while frowning at him warily. First the name, now the sir. Was it some kind of trap? He didn’t think the grey man cunning enough for that, nor did he think it likely. So, it had to be something else.

His frown only deepened when Jakub held the door to the third floor open to him instead of leading him further up the stairs. “Why are we here?” he asked, hesitating to step into the antechamber.

Jakub blinked stupidly. “I am showing you to your rooms, sir,” he answered simply.

“Here?” he had trouble keeping the shock from his face. He knew well enough that this floor was off-limits for almost all inhabitants of Lettenhove Hall. Ciri was free to come and go, of course, Janina ignored her brother’s wishes as always, and he’d been tolerated the last two times he’d brought himself to come knocking on Jaskier’s door. But the rest? As far as he was aware, not even the servants were allowed to enter, safe for Jakub, of course.

Now, he almost envied them. The lord’s chambers made his skin crawl. The scent of fear, grief, and hatred had seeped deep into the very structure, each floorboard, curtain, and piece of furniture reeking of vinegar, onions and infected wounds. And tears. Always the salty tang of sadness— the scent clung to Jaskier, too. 'No wonder he hates his home so much.’

“This way, sir,” the servant said calmly, and led him to the only of the three rooms Geralt hadn’t entered yet. It was a nice room, he had to admit, far nicer than the one he had stayed in before.

He barely had a moment to take it all in — the large feather bed, the coals in the fireplace, the three additional doors — when Jakub spoke again: “Will you require any assistance with your armour, sir?”

“No,” he answered as he strode over to the bed. It was a four-poster, with velvet curtains and an embroidered canopy and all. He barely dared touch the fancy quilt on top. It was gold threaded, for fuck’s sake.

“Do I have your leave to retire, then?” He barely registered the servant speak, still too mesmerised by the silky feel of the duvet. It was silk, he realised with horror. “Sir?”

He shrugged, uncaring. “Sure.” When the door shut behind him, he took the chance to thoroughly examine his new room. First, he tried the doors. Two of them were locked and he didn’t dare to pry them open, but the other led to a private bath of all things. Not that he’d complain, especially not when he found fairly warm water waiting for him in the washbowl. He quickly stripped off his armour, glad for the opportunity to wash off the dirt of the day spent outside.

Once clean, he continued inspecting his new chambers. They were luxurious; there was no other word for it. With a fancy tapestry, a shelf storing old poetry volumes — and one new one, untitled and without a cover, deposited on the nightstand with nothing more than a bookmark drenched in Józefa’s perfume. The chest at the foot end of the bed was open and filled to the brim with warm winter clothes he wouldn’t be able to refuse now. There was a desk, too, expensive parchment and goose quills next to a weapon’s rack and an armour stand, where Jaskier’s old wooden sword was already waiting for him.

He had the sudden overwhelming need to sit down. 'Fuck,’ he thought. Who the fuck wasted all of that on a witcher? He found himself thoroughly questioning Jaskier’s sanity. The bard had never been the most proficient when it came to budgeting tasks, but this was a whole new level of ridiculousness.

He almost didn’t dare settle into the bed. 'What if I break something?’ To prevent that, he stripped off the quilt and two more silk blankets as well as some of the down-filled pillows, depositing them carefully on the divan.

But even wrapped in only the linen and woollen sheets, sleep didn’t come easily to him. That was for an entirely different reason, though: With nothing else to occupy his mind and his eyes closed, the sounds around him grew incredibly loud. There was a cat prancing around in the dining room, Jakub settling into bed, too, and mice in the walls. 

And the worst part of all of that was that he could hear Jaskier, too. The Viscount was sleeping soundly, his peaceful breath resonating loudly in Geralt’s chambers. From time to time he turned onto the other side, rustling his blankets, or talked nonsensical in his sleep as he was wont to do.

It shouldn’t bother him. Sixteen years they had travelled together. Sixteen years of listening to Jaskier commit to sleep just as loudly as he did everything else. They had been separated by a campfire at most, sharing beds and bedrolls more often than not when coin and temperatures were low. Why were those same sounds so infuriating now?

He knew it was kindness that Jaskier allowed him to stay in so close proximity. Still, he wondered if Jaskier knew that it was torture, too.

There was another possibility for his irritation, of course. One that Geralt didn’t like to dwell on too much. Maybe it was the wall that separated them that bothered him. A physical divide adding to the emotional void between them. Maybe it was the fact that he was so used to the bard beside him. And now he wasn’t. So close and yet out of reach. 'Torture.’

And yet, he didn’t get up and leave. He didn’t flee. If that was the prize, he had to pay to get a few precious moments with Jaskier, he’d pay it. He’d pay it a thousand times over.

Just like the oath. Geralt scoffed. He couldn’t believe that Jaskier thought for even a moment that Geralt might refuse. He might be dense, but not that stupid. The rest of his life at Jaskier’s side? That wasn’t the worst fate he could imagine.