#because i’ve unfortunately lost trust in the writers a long long time ago

[tallest-tiptoes]

what an episode. two i love yous, carina worried about maya, maya willing to be the one carrying, the throwback to maya’s iconic line…

and then that cliffhanger??

i’m well aware maya being in real danger has been something we’ve all been asking for but boy am i not strong enough for this

also the camera spinning around them at the end reminds me too much of their proposal so it’s hitting extra hard

i need maya to be okay, not just alive but well enough to continue fighting fires if she wishes to

[kob131]

Okay so I know I’m getting mocked for this-

I am a fan of Mr Enter. Not a former fan, a current, ongoing one. In fact, I would be considered a long running Mr Enter fan, having been a fan since...at least October of 2015, since I have clear memories of watching his 100th Animated Atrocity- the Drawn Together movie. I’ve never unsubscribed from his channel and I tend to watch his reviews as they come out or rewatch some periodically. And before anyone gets any bright ideas- No, my temper is not influenced by his infamous temper. Turns out massive amounts of bullying and family issues alongside the intense emotions that Autism can bring leads to being a dumbass on the internet. 

And make no mistake, Enter has been a dumbass before. His Turning Red take (”Why isn’t this bright and colorful movie not being depressing?”) is one yes. His witch hunting about the Spongebob writers is another. And he’s had more- Trust me, I’ve seen them. He does deserve some of the criticism that gets thrown his way. ... But unfortunately, he doesn’t deserve all of it.

Let’s start with one of the most well known criticism he gets- The Turning Red take. If what I stated the take was confused you, I don’t blame you. Because of all the criticism launched at him for it, a depressingly large amount of it was that he said ‘This bright cartoon movie didn’t mention 9/11.’ Which he never said. But like many memes- people have lost the plot on what he actually said. And that’s kind of fucked up the conversation on what should have been something simple.

Another is that he’s overly negative and never says anything good, usually pointing to how he said he was cancelling Admirable Animations back in his Soul Episode in March 15th of 2021.

... This is factually incorrect. As in, no one ever looks into his videos. Because if you did- You would have seen that he made another Admirable Animation in May of 2022. And in between this timespan, he made four positive review (NES Zelda, Treasure Planet, Top 10 OK! Cartoons and Making Fiends). Even now, his most recent review is talking about the show Bluey as a positive thing. Yeah, he has more negative reviews than positive- notably bad things are in a higher quantity than notably good things. ANd even in Animated Atrocities, he will say good things about the subject if he feels it’s correct.

Next we have that he threatened the Spongbob writers. Which he did do. ... about a decade or so ago. And not once has he ever done something like this since. He’s even mocked himself for this multiple times. Which leads me to another point- That he doesn’t take criticism. Which is rather dumb, considering that he’s stopped editing his own videos and his copped up to a lot of his criticisms. Which is...more than I can say for most creators.

We also have the idea that he reinforces negative stereotypes about autistic people. While it is true autistic people get stereotyped as overly sensitive, blunt and overly angry...considering my own history and the shit I’ve seen certain other autistic people pull- I have to say that the stereotype will exist the exact same with or without him. It does admit to issues that people in this category can have.

And then we have the ‘He’s anti-woke/feminist/mask/whatever’. This is just political and I won’t dignify it with a response.

All in all, I feel like the people who shit on Enter more often than not are just as guilty as they accuse him of being, upset only because he did it in a way they didn’t like. Clown on him for Turning Red, he does deserve that. But stuff like the Spongebob writers bit is so old at this point and you really need to be accurate about this. Otherwise it just sounds like you bitching that he didn’t act the way you wanted him to. And trust me, that won’t help stop the problem whatsoever.

[stxvercgersslut]

Okay, hey guys! I’ve been gone a while haven’t I? Well I’ve been lurking and reblogging but that’s about it, I haven’t written any Fics on here for at least a year, almost bordering two years and it genuinely upsets me that I haven’t. I don’t know if anyone is actually gonna see this/ even care enough to read it, but I’ve just gotta get this off my chest. Truth is, I lost motivation to write long ago, I’ve tried to get back into the grove but I’ve just failed too many times, a lot of things have been happening recently and it’s been a lot. I’ve been struggling with my mental health more than ever and I just can’t bring myself to write whilst I feel at my lowest. I may be over exaggerating since I know there’s a lot of people out there that will be suffering more than me right now, but I just wanted to come on here and explain.

If I’m being truthful with you guys, I don’t think I’ll be writing anymore Fics nore hace I planned to continue the ones I started no matter how hard I’ve tried and trust me I have, but I just don’t feel like I have the time / energy to sit and pour my heart and soul into a fic that’s gonna get barely any views only for me to write something half arsed and hate it for it to then do better than the Fics I actually enjoyed writing in the first place. It really does hurt that it’s come to this but I think it’s wise for my mental health, that I take a step back and don’t write anymore Fics or even try.

That being said, I’ll be around, I’m still gonna show support to a lot of creators, make sure to reblog as many Fics as possible, and try to enjoy my stay with Tumblr, but my writing days are over unfortunately. I wish it didn’t have to come to this because I love writing, but it’s just no longer enjoyable. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back in the writing game at some point, but for now I bid writing goodbye.

I’m gonna go ahead and tag some people that I feel may wanna read this since I know I’ve been MIA for them too. Please make sure you go and read their Fics I beg you! Because they are all fantastic writers! @chuckbass-love @jtargaryen18 @et-lesailes

Ps: I will be leaving my masterlist up for anyone who may like to read my previous Fics, just know that it may never get updated.

[coffee-at-annies]

Thanks for your insights, truly appreciate it!! Me too i've only been watching more of the highlights and some full games, but i read a lot of hockey stuff to understand the game even more. the general mood may be down in pensland now and it could be easy to feel that way when it seems that almost every other team besides 2 or 3 is squeaking out wins early in the year while we're doing every no no in a hockey game possible. when you look at the standings it looks like 24 teams have winning records now in the first 10 games vs the pens' 4-5-2 record but honestly half of them will likely not keep up with their current pace. It was infuriating to see read those beat writers from teams with winning records (cough Isles cough) laughing at our struggles and write us off early in the season. it's easy to mock us now but what if at some point in the season the situations are reversed inevitably? I always say to myself, hockey can be a cruel mistress. you can be on top of the league 10 games in then go on to have a historic losing season. the pens can have a bottom 10 record after 10 games but with a few tweaks and a little more puck luck, we will also enjoy the same success the other teams are having to start the season.

besides it's difficult to determine which teams are for real and which teams are just riding lady luck to begin the season. there'll be injuries and cold streaks and poor goaltending and puck luck that will hit every team throughout the season. it's just unfortunate that the pens can't catch a break and are facing a lot of adversity early on. but if we spent the whole time wishing we were as good as this team based off a very small sample size, that's dangerous thinking. plus will we really be better off if we faced little adversity throughout the season? don't think so. i do agree with the general opinion that the league standings are more taken seriously by the 41-game mark.

that's my thoughts for now. i don't think sid and geno will let this slide any further. and in all honesty, i think this is one of the stretches that will make us look back and be glad it happened sooner rather than when it is too late for a turnaround. let all those writers get smug about their early success now - marathon not a sprint. it will be interesting to see how their team responds the second adversity hits them and when their unsustainable winning ways catch up to them. what will they say if their team gets hit by a lengthy losing streak later in the year? the season is early to make sound assumptions about every team and things can change in a snap

People forget (and rightly so it was a long time ago at this point) that we slumped hard all the way into December before turning things around and winning the cup in 2016. Heck last year we looked terrible after the trade deadline and then looked amazing the first couple games of the playoffs. It’s a long season you never know when someone will make a change and the team will get their shit together.

As for reporters being smug, I’m very much a don’t like don’t read fellow in addition to being an unrepentant homer. I only want to read nice things about my team doing good and bad things about my enemies doing badly. We’re in a slump so I simply do not see my athletic subscription because it will only make me upset and sad about things I can’t control. Also I’ve lost a lot of trust for Yohe and Rossi after Geno’s free agency fiasco. They are not going to give me the content I want so I simply have forgotten how to read.

I never read other teams articles/beat reporters unless it’s a player puff piece because they are never going to say nice things about us. It’s literally their job to be critical and smug. Nobody likes to admit that Sidney Crosby is still really good at hockey, that’s why it’s the coldest hot take in the league, but everyone wants to write is he washed up reaction pieces because they cause outrage and get clicks. If they ever say a nice word it will be begrudgingly and at most a backhand compliment. They are also unrepentant homers claiming they don’t have biases because they’re reporters. It’s annoying but that’s the facts.

The only league-wide content I consume is Steve Dangle’s highlights stuff because I appreciate him being an unrepentant leafs fan who also likes good hockey. He’s soft on some teams and harder on others when it comes to what makes the highlights but at least he’s up front with it all. I’ve taken a hiatus from watching that too cause I don’t like when we show up getting scored on or making mistakes. It feels bad and so I simply do not.

This may sound like I’m sticking my head in the sand but all of this stuff is optional and it’s just going to make me upset if I consume it. One of the hardest parts I’ve found is learning to disconnect and not take losses personally. I want the hyperfixation to produce the good chemicals and none of the bad stuff and surely the more I consume the more good chemicals I will get? Except that’s not really the case during slumps it becomes a downward spiral chasing the light at the end of the tunnel and the easiest way to not do that is limit my intake and find joy in other things. I skipped last nights game for those reasons and had a lovely time watching taskmaster with my partner. Hockey is a marathon. It’s important to take breaks and pace yourself. There’s a lot of content. Picking and choosing what to consume (up to and including skipping games) is important.

[yamigooops]

Hey I know you beta’d for Gnarlypunkassbitch for Our Enigma. I noticed she’s deleted her ao3 account and her Twitter, do you know what happened or if she’s ok?

Omg yes! Ok so she DMed me before deleting and let me know that she’s had some ongoing issues with both her physical and mental health. I’ve known about them for a little while, as that is the reason she hasn’t updated the story since like February I think?

Essentially she had been feeling a tremendous amount of pressure over not having the time, energy, or inspiration to write and/or update the story. Despite readers’ support and reassurance for her to take her time and prioritize her wellbeing, as writers online we can often get caught up in the trap of thinking that just because we have a story that might be successful, which I would absolutely consider OE successful with tens of thousands of reads, we have to update on a constant schedule or our readers are going to get mad.

I know when she first started it she updated regularly, but from what I know it was supposed to end a while ago but she kept extending it bc readers wanted more. She eventually had to prioritize her well-being over the story, since she lost inspiration. And while this happened a few weeks ago, she still felt the pressure from AO3 and Twitter, so she decided that a full cleanse would be best for her.

However, we are still in contact, so she hasn’t completely vanished. I’ve emailed her in response to the DMs she sent me before leaving Twitter, and expressed my support for her to take care of herself first. She did say in the DMs that she may come back and repost the story in the future after she’s worked on herself, but that’s completely up to her. I do still have the beta read documents, and she still has the originals, so the story still exists, just not publicly right now. I was also talking with her about releasing a podfic of the story, though I hadn’t planned to even start recording it until October.

As of right now, she hasn’t responded. I emailed her on April 6th when she left, so it hasn’t been super long since then. But I expressed that she didn’t have to respond or anything if she needed a full cleanse from everything. Though I did express that I was sending her good vibes and thoughts, as well as my willingness to act as a channel for her to communicate with all the fans of OE in order to update you all on her state, as well as share your support and love for her.

I just feel so incredibly privileged to have been a part of this story, even if the work I did never got shared publicly. Because I got to become friends with a generous, kind-hearted, marvelously talented woman, while also sharpening my editing skills at the same time. Like I literally kept a cry count throughout this fuckin fic and the first read through I cried 15 times, and by the end of the beta it was up to 27. If a writer is able to make you cry even when you know what’s coming next? That’s true mastery in my opinion. So like wow. I just…. I’ll never shut up about this fic y’all. Never ever. I wish I could share the beta docs so y’all could still read it, but that would be a breach of her trust since she took it down publicly and hasn’t responded to my message yet. So I unfortunately won’t be doing that.

I’m also honored that people have come to me to ask after her. Like wowza. I’ve had numerous people do so, and I just can’t get over it. The love that has already been shown just in the past 6 days is astonishing. She impacted so many in such a profound way, and I am more than happy to act as a bridge to you all now. Though I will say that if you’d like to send her love and/or we’ll wishes that I won’t be contacting her again until she responds to me. Because we all need to respect her journey to healing, and if that means never hearing from her again, I hope you’re all willing to accept that and still wish her well.

So really all we can do now is sit together in our love for her and the story, send her positive energy in her road toward healing, and cross our fingers that she will one day bring this masterpiece back to life. But the decision is completely up to her, and I hope you’ll all support her just as much as I do. Keep an eye out for her possible return, maybe check like once every month or two. I will also make an announcement if she does return, so let’s do what we can right now to get her those good, healing vibes 🥰🥲

Below are my true feelings regarding the (hopefully temporary) loss of this absolutely incredible writer and friend:

Also. I haven’t gotten to freak out about OE with anyone but Gnarly since none of my friends read it so like….. y’all should tell me your favorite part and I will share mine bc like wowowoowowowow whatta fuckin masterpiece 😤🥲

[orangedodge]

@dannybagpipesarecalling​ replied to your text post:

I didn't realize those were Destiny's diaries either. If you would be so kind, can you explain how Emma knows? Unfortunately I haven't read enough comics to know this backstory.

I am glad you asked about this, because it gives me an excuse to post about it while hopefully not sounding like a conspiracy blog. I've been slightly obsessed with this idea since Emma first turned up in House of X, so I'm rather excited that “maybe Destiny's Diaries still exist” isn't just my weird crack canon any longer.

Emma was, in short, the last person who can be established to have control over the whereabouts of the diaries. And as one of the top five telepaths in the world, who has expressly defended that secret from the likes of Exodus and Mr. Sinister, she is capable of preventing Professor X from just taking the information from her. So barring new retcons, if Moira has the diaries now, they had to have been obtained directly from Emma.

That's not enough to say that she turned them over to Moira specifically. She could have given them to Charles or Er—okay, no, she wouldn't give them to Charles. There could be a circumstance where she'd trust them to Erik though. But in that contingency, I think there's enough context to support Emma knowing why they'd want them and for who. To be clear though, I would be less confident about making that assertion if Emma hadn't just opened the “Dr. Moira MacTaggert Memorial Public Hospital” expressly to freak out Charles and Erik, and if HoxPox hadn't already linked them by showing Moira to be worried about what Emma was up to.

(This got kind of long so I thought it'd be helpful to say the important part up front before spiraling down the continuity rabbit hole)

The origins and resulting chain of custody for Destiny's Diaries are as follows: One January, decades ago, Destiny began recording visions of the future in a series of diaries. Filling one book per month, she continued writing for thirteen months. This process was described as auto-writing, and Destiny herself did not have a complete memory of what she had written, nor did she understand the meaning of much of what she wrote.

Nonetheless, the July diary contained a recording of the events leading up to the defeat of Apocalypse, and another diary contained information on the life of Hope Summers, so they've been very relevant to the events of the modern era. It's not explicit yet that Krakoa's founding is also in the diaries, but because we know Destiny had at least one separate vision of Krakoa, and because Moira is interested in reading them, it seems fairly likely that whatever Moira, Charles, and Erik have been doing behind the scenes is also in there.

In the decades since Destiny authored them, most of these diaries were lost, except for five that Mystique kept hold of, and a sixth that Irene hid away herself. After Mystique killed 'Moira,' she sent her five diaries to Professor X, hoping that the temptation of using them would consume his life and lead him toward a ruinous fate. Destiny meanwhile had entrusted the sixth diary to Shadowcat (who Destiny met in 1936, while she was time traveling and having an affair with Moira's grandfather don't worry about it), who eventually became so freaked out by something she read in it that she vanished on a mission, let her friends believe her dead for weeks, and had herself deleted from Cerebro, while leaving the diary to Rogue for safekeeping while she was away.

(That last chain of events isn't incredibly important, I just think it becomes kind of lol in light of current canon)

Rogue went on to take that diary and the research that had been done on it to Storm. Storm and Rogue then formed a splinter team of X-Men, to journey the world searching for the lost diaries, believing Professor X could not be trusted. Along the way a seventh book turned up with a treasure hunter named Vargas (don't worry about him), and an eighth was found by Gateway and given to Rogue in a dream. Eventually Storm tried to get Phoenix to collect Professor X's diaries for her, but they discovered that they had already been stolen (Shadowcat did it).

The rest of the diary hunt isn't really important, just that Kitty eventually ended up retrieving the full set, before she rejoined the X-Men, which only happened after Xavier had left Scott and Emma to run the school. This timeline is important for establishing that Xavier has never possessed the full set of diaries himself, and was not involved in collecting the lost books at any point, nor was he present at the time the diaries were brought to the school and fell under Emma's protection. This rules out the possibility that the set of diaries we've previously seen were somehow forged by Xavier.

Xavier would not return to the school until after losing his mutant powers, whereupon he departed for space on an adventure to another galaxy. He was unavailable, therefore, to have undertaken any telepathic shenanigans, so what happens next actually happened, and is not a psychic illusion. While Xavier was gone, Mr. Sinister recruited Exodus and Mystique, and began a campaign of hunting down precognitive psychics, time travelers, and any other sources of information on the future. Scott, Emma, and Kitty meanwhile predicted that they were going to be next, and came up with a bananas plan to keep the books safe.

X-Men volume 2 no. 203 by Mike Carey (Writer), Humberto Ramos (Penciler), Carlos Cuevas (Inker), Studio F’s Edgar Delgado (Colorist), Virtual Calligraphy’s Cory Petit (Letterer), Will Panzo (Assistant Editor), Nick Lowe (Editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)

First they hid the diaries somewhere in parts unknown. Emma then altered the minds of “all of us” (everyone who lived at the mansion at that time) to perceive a bunch of decoy books as the real thing. She then erased Kitty's memory, and her own, so that no telepath would be able to extract the information by force, before they gave each other a series of post-hypnotic triggers so they could restore one another's memories if they ever needed the books again. When eventually Exodus attacked the school looking for the books, they restored their memories, and decided to send another team to the hidden location where they'd buried a mystery box. Emma gave this location to Sam and Bobby, who dug up the box, which was never opened, and which was destroyed by Gambit during a firefight with Sinister's forces before anyone could confirm its contents.

This was intended by author Mike Carey to be the end of Destiny's Diaries, a dropped plot from a previous creative run, that was vaguely useful at building up to the Messiah Complex crossover, but was a lot more trouble than it was worth to an author who was writing about the X-Men trying to avert a bad future. But there's a lot of room in the story he wrote for the diaries to have survived after all.

I think it's actually really suspicious that the box was accessible to Bobby and Sam at all. Why not drop it under a mountain? Why not bury it under the ocean? Why not keep it phased in a tree? And it's a big red box with a big red 'X' on it. I know the X-Men love their branding and all, but that's going pretty far.

No one actually opens the box before Gambit blows it up either. It could have contained more decoys, or nothing at all. 

And when talking among themselves, Emma and Kitty never actually say that they're sending the X-Men to retrieve the diaries. They say that they know where the diaries are, and then send the X-Men to a place where they've buried something. The intent of the author is clear, but there's room in the dialogue for a later writer to decide that this just was another plan to keep the books hidden.

So for the entire period of time between assembling the complete collection of thirteen diaries, and their seeming destruction, they are never unaccounted for. Only Emma and Kitty knew the full extent of what they did to hide them, and where they were hidden. If fakes were destroyed instead of the real thing, no one would have known.

We could just be in retcon territory, but I don't think so, because it's fine on its own without any direct changes to canon. And really, faking the destruction of the books to cover up their real location makes a lot more sense than believing Emma Frost actually sent Sam to retrieve the incredibly suspicious looking red box that contained the most important object in the world, while half the super villains on the planet were chasing him.

Believing the diaries weren't really destroyed just requires the reader to accept that Emma would lie to the other X-Men, and keep lying to them for years, and that she'd be willing to put Sam and Bobby's lives at risk to protect that lie. Which she was already doing in that story anyway. She was already lying to everyone when she changed everyone's memories. And she—and Scott and Kitty—was already fine with risking everyone's lives when setting up a decoy trap in a school. So that's why I think this works better as a continuation of the existing, known, story of the diaries, and not a direct retcon to what happened.

In conclusion I think Emma knows about Moira because Moira got the diaries from somewhere, and Emma is the person she could have gotten them from. Nothing proves a direct hand-off in, like, a formal standard of proof or anything, but Emma having access to the diaries for so long, and having been wrapped up in this whole weird plot thread—which involves Moira and most of the Quiet Council—is enough to imply the connection in a story sense.

(ETA - For completion’s sake, there is also a weird story I didn’t go into called Chaos War that was published in 2011 where Moira is resurrected and finds a book in the ruins of the Xavier School that may or may not be one of the diaries, and touching it causes her soul to merge with Destiny’s, who then possesses her and guides her through a quest to destroy an evil god. This was an odd story to place in continuity at the time, and has only gotten stranger, given  1. that couldn’t be the real Moira, 2. Destiny is not merged with her soul. If this is in continuity (it’s been suggested that Moira’s golem was the character in this event), and all of the characters are who they say they are, and if the book in question was actually one of the thirteen diaries (and not some other book that Irene also wrote), then it requires Emma to have deliberately left one of the thirteen books behind for “Moira” to find, which if anything only adds to the likelihood that she knows what’s up)

[suzukiblu]

Fic Writer Meme

Tagged by my dear @dancinbutterfly, and like, obviously I will take any excuse to talk about writing.

.

1) how many works do you have on ao3?

168, although a few of those are podfics that the podficcer credited me as a co-author on. Actually less than I would’ve expected, tbh.

2) what is your total ao3 word count?

1,431,989. Honestly also kinda less than I would’ve expected at this point. I will blame all those old fics I never brought over from LJ and ff.net for this expectation.

3) how many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

I literally cannot tell you, the ancient ways have been lost to me. I can give you my Ao3 fandoms, though!

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Overwatch

The Witcher (Netflix)

Young Justice (Cartoon)

Animorphs

Star Wars

Good Omens

Venom

Fantastic Four

Leverage

League of Legends

Daredevil

Supernatural

Care Bears

World of Warcraft

Spider-Man

X-Men

Slender Man Mythos

Additionally, long ago: Naruto, Gundam Wing, Digimon, Ranma ½, Bleach, Inu-Yasha, and many scattered other fandoms of my youth. So, so many others. So I’ve written for 25+ fandoms, at least.

4) what are your top 5 fics by Kudos.

a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar (13004)

I once started out to walk around the world but ended up in Brooklyn (8450)

it’s a long way forward (so trust in me) (6965)

oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me (6818)

if the bad times are coming let ‘em come (5362)

5) do you respond to comments?

Not really these days, though I hoard and treasure them like a freaking DRAGON. I used to respond to all of them but sometimes I’m just not around and then it becomes awkwardly late to reply and also they kinda . . . pile up a bit. I do try to answer all the comments with questions in them, at least, as long as the questions aren’t literally spoilers or anything like that.

6) what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t usually write super-angsty endings, I think? I don’t FEEL like I usually write super-angsty endings, anyway, at least not these days. I think I did it more often when I was more into, like, drabbles and shortfic. Now I just spend way too long on stuff to give it a downer ending.

The most recent angsty ending I can think of is wanna hold him, maybe I’ll just sing about it, though eventually I did write a sequel to that to soften the blow a bit. And also torment people a bit. Both, technically. Technically both.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

blondes really do have more fun, definitely. It’s very . . . giddy, I guess? What with the gender euphoria and all. There’s angst and heavy emotions in the actual plot but the highs of the happy parts/ending are probably the highest/happiest ones I’ve written, and Supergirl gets everything she wants without having to compromise or give up anything else.

8) do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I write fusion fic more than crossovers, really, but I have written a LOT of fusion fic. Some of it has been weirder than others, tbh, but probably the Avatar: The Last Airbender/Animorphs fusion that I have been lovingly slaving over deserves to be this answer if only for how much extremely sincere effort I have put into it over the years.

9) have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mild hate, but occasionally. I don’t really tend to remember negative comments, tbh, though it does sometimes make me not want to reread the comment section I know they’re in. But a lot of the hate I’ve gotten in the end just seemed like socially-awkward people being unnecessarily blunt instead of just hitting the back button, so I try not to take it personally. Can’t please everyone. Don’t WANT to please everyone, frankly.

10) Do you write smut? What kind?

Yes, and the kind is “a lot”. Sometimes I don’t really feel like it but definitely I have done a lot of it. I try for Feelings and also to be safe, sane, and consensual as much as I can.

11) have you ever had a fic stolen?

I . . . am not sure? Though probably, after being at this for all this time. Someone once told me that someone picked up a fic I’d (at the time) abandoned and just started writing/posting more of it without asking or telling me about it, but I never actually found said fic and I don’t know if that technically counts as “stealing” anyway.

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times, yup, it’s pretty gratifying! I also like to run them back through Google Translate and see what they say, haha.

13) have you ever co-written a fic before?

yoooo @dancinbutterfly, @rainnecassidy! Also done it with a few other people long, LONG ago, but that was back in the LJ era. Don’t think I’ve technically collabed with anyone else lately, although sometimes people will give me ideas for stuff I’m writing or offer suggestions when I’m stuck on a thing, which is very helpful.

14) what’s your favourite ship?

Like . . . per fandom? ‘Cuz we could be here a while. Most recently it’s Jaskier/Geralt, for a while it was Aziraphale/Crowley, DEFINITELY for a while it was Steve/Bucky . . .

You know, I guess technically my all-time favorite ship is actually Naruto/Sasuke, because I made a LOT of friends in Naruto fandom and it actually hugely influenced the end of my teenage years and beginning of my adult life and so, SO much of my writing. So like, if nothing else it wins on influentialness.

15) what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Let ‘Em Come. @rainnecassidy and I wrote that AU a long-ass time ago now and I never did my half of the sequel fic because I got too distracted with another longfic I was working on at the time and then took a real long fandom break. I always felt kind of bad about it because people seemed to bother her for said sequel more than they bothered ME for it, since her fic was the last posted part. Unfortunately I just don’t have the spoons or the MCU-focus for the research and effort it’d take anymore. Also, like . . . it’d probably be pretty long, so unless I was REAL obsessive about it it’d take a good long while.

Basically I think its time has just passed at this point, alas.

16) what are your writing strengths?

Sex, action, snark, and weird fusion fics. Also making people love things they usually hate, that’s one I get told a lot.

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

Fitting physical descriptions of . . . literally ANYTHING into the story. Just, anything. Physical descriptions are hard.

18) what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I try not to do it, personally, because I know soooooo very little about other languages. Sometimes I’ll sprinkle in a little bit of it, but usually I feel like it’s better to avoid it, personally.

19) what was the first fandom you wrote for?

I literally could not even tell you. The first fandom I REMEMBER writing proper “fic” for was . . . Ranma ½, I think. I thiiiiink. But that was a long-ass time ago and I never even posted it anywhere because those were the days when I despised typing things up beyond all measure, hah. And before that I remember writing Animorphs . . . comics? Storyboards? Something like that. Kind of a cross between the two.

20) what’s your favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I do not know! There’s really just too many, tbh. Some top options are you found me when no one else was looking, best friends means you get what you deserve, clay kids, Avamorphs, handmaiden!Anakin, oh don’t you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me, and . . . and I could go on for a dang MINUTE, honestly, haha, I’m just gonna stop myself here before I get too carried away.

.

I tag whoever happens to be reading this that wants to be tagged; have fun with it!

[mannatea]

*1) did you read the end of AoT, or hear about it? Has your opinion about aot changed during those years? now that it's all over I can definitely say that I'm disappointed and deeply hurt (especially with the death of my babies sasha and hange) although for some reasons different from yours. I understand if you don't want to talk about aot anymore, but the thing is,

Hi, hello, thanks for sending this almost out of nowhere. I really appreciate it! (Like, genuinely. That isn't sarcasm.)

I do recall that post I wrote about characterization, because I believe I also had a request to do one for Hange (which I think I did? I feel like there was a hideous artwork I did to go with it and I remember that way more than the post). I can't believe how long ago that was LOL!

I'll hit on a couple of points, or try to. I'm super flattered that you'd come to me for characterization help/advice... FeelsGoodMan. I mean, I'm kind of a washed up ol' fanfic writer now (blows the dust off of my works) but the one thing I've always tried to do is write right by the characters. They are the reason people are clicking on your story, after all; you'd best write them right.

(I fully acknowledge that I was not always successful in this endeavor. Of all the levihan works I put out into the world, the picky picky new me would probably chuck about half of them in the landfill for being OOC.)

I did not catch up fully on the series, though I do still follow a couple of people who read to the end so I have a kind-of moderate understanding of what happened (props to them, by the way; you are stronger and braver than me).

I think I've made peace with the series going a direction I had not anticipated and did not like. At least...to an extent. I'm sure with the right people I could spew endless rants into the air, but the reality is this: sometimes things evolve and change in a way that you, the audience, either:

1. Are not happy with.

2. Do Not Like.

3. Are disgusted/revolted/angered/saddened by.

These are three separate points because honestly, I think if the degree of unhappiness with a direction your favorite series takes is low, or even at the Definitely Don't Like That point, you're not likely to drop the thing, especially not cold turkey.

However, if that direction makes you feel a strong negative emotion, and makes you feel it for long enough—because the shift has a lasting impact for whatever reason—you may find it's in your best interest to, uh...part ways.

And when I say this, I don't just mean This Series! The same issue is taking place in my current fandom as well, to the point where I even made a post talking about it—about how hard it is to feel those sorts of disappointments, rage, fear... I know it sounds silly but when you write fanfiction, draw art, engage in a fandom by making friends or interacting with fanworks...you emotionally invest yourself in it. That makes it hard to let go, but sometimes you do have to ask yourself: should I, though?

That full post is for another day or maybe never (idk, if anyone wants to read that hit me up), but I let go of SnK. It started out interesting but before the timeskip they'd already lost me. It ended up becoming a series that was not meant for me. I've accepted it! And when I've kind of low-key paid attention to what was going on in the series (because even though I dropped it, I still wanted to know how it ended; I mean sure I'm nosy af, but I didn't invest myself into the series for four years only to lose interest in knowing how it ended) it just further solidified my understanding and belief that I did the right thing in dropping it.

Anyway, unfortunately I cannot offer you any "updated" advice for either character, because I'm just so separated from the series it's like...I've lost touch with them (if that makes sense). The one thing I think is probably true though, is that Hange and Levi are the types of characters whose core essences would not be significantly altered by temporary or short-term circumstances. And when I say short-term, I mean relative to how long they've already lived. Yes, Hange undoubtedly gets more "serious" and depressed as time goes on, but it's not as if she's lost what makes her her. Circumstances force her to put on that brave face and take charge where necessary, to put more energy toward serious discussions and making difficult decisions, but the curiosity, the desire to protect humanity: that would never go away. After all, Hange's curiosity, her drive to Do Good in the World: all of that came along way before the newest set of circumstances. So it's still there—she's still Hange. It's just...this looming disastrous new issue is in play and it requires a lot of energy that she used to devote to other things (and can no longer afford to).

I have no earthly idea if any of that will help you, but the most important thing about characterization is to try and put yourself into the shoes of the characters you're writing. Try to fully immerse yourself. Don't make the mistake of thinking, "What would Hange do?" and then really writing what YOU would do in that same circumstance. Pull from canon where you can to get a better grasp on characterization, ask a friend you trust (not a Yes Man kind of friend—someone who isn't afraid to tell you that your idea is OOC), write down character traits that you've seen to help you recall them more easily.

One last advice: no one is perfect at character writing. We all make mistakes or bite off more than we can chew with a character. Heck, the creator himself made sure we knew what a genius Erwin was and then had him form the most hare-brained dumbass plan ever (the suicide run YES I AM STILL SALTY I LOST MY BOY MARLOWE!!!). The key is always going to be to think twice. At least with fanfic you have the option of being able to take as much time as you want because you don't have deadlines to meet, so you can iron out issues like that (provided you can catch them, but you can also find yourself a lovely beta-reader to assist in those matters). Heck, if you try to write something and you realize you're out of your league, you can simply Not Post It, saving yourself a lot of pain and suffering. (Even I do this more often than I want to admit!)

Best of luck out there, and if you think of anything else feel free to send me another message. I hope this was at least one percent useful lmao.

[guaxinimraccoon]

What was your main inspiration(s) to create Euphoria and its characters?

Oh I loved this one! I love to talk about what inspires me!

Ok, so I’ve said before (in this post) that Brad and Tobias and their first meeting aren’t exactly original. They were characters from a story called “An Impish Adventure” by the blog big-fluffy-dragon, which is deactivated nowadays. It used to be my favorite g/t blog and I got many inspirations from the prompts and stories it’s owner posted. Through my old posts, you may find a few reblogs from this blog, it gave me so many ideas and thoughts, most of them inspired me A LOT later to come up with scenarios and random situations we see in Euphoria or it’s AU’s.

I took “An Impish Adventure” and used it as a base to create Euphoria. The stories used to be very similar in the past, but nowadays Euphoria has my own personal touch... which is pretty much the unite of my favorite things in g/t that I’ve seen in many different blogs around the community djskdjsjdks. Even though Euphoria is a completely new thing I still would like to talk to big-fluffy-dragon’s owner and ask her if she’s ok with it tbh djksdjs but I lost track of her a long time ago unfortunately.

Anyway, the point is, I’m not a creative person, I inspire myself a lot in many different things. I guess Euphoria is sort of a weird, hybrid mix between a bit of everything I’ve ever seen and that I enjoy.

big-fluffy-dragon is, of course, my main inspiration, but through the years I’ve inspired myself in other creators/writers/blogs.

For example, the @brothersapart series has huuuugely inspired me and I don’t even like Supernatural dsjkdjsk I just really love the way they develop narratives and work with amazing scenarios and possibilities in g/t.

@neonthewrite has also been a huge inspiration fountain to me, I simply adore their characters and the amazing worldbuilding they built behind the story of their sprite character Bowman, it’s soooo creative and unique!

I also inspire myself in popular stories that I love and are my favorite, like How To Train Your Dragon for example. The trust bond that Hiccup and Toothless build through the movie is what made me fall for this scenario and that’s why I do so many first meetings in Euphoria, I never get tired of them!

Aside from that, I can say the g/t community in general has always inspired me. Every blog I’ve visited, every idea I’ve seen, every scenario, every story has somehow touched me and turned and keeps turning Euphoria into something more than just a silly thing that only happens in my mind. I can’t put in words how much I adore this fandom!

And of course, I couldn’t end this topic without metioning two buds of mine! The first is @smallastars, one of my best friends that has inspired me with our chit chats about our creations and ideas through the last three years. He has amazing worlds and characters that make me go astonished every single time! And the second is @dmteshugo​, my Dungeon Master (and crush but shhhhh dont tell him that he doesn’t know) that created one of the most amazing and surreal worldbuildings I’ve ever seen. I love to listen to his RPG sets and stories, they always caught me off guard with how creative they are! (and I’m glad he has enough pity of my character and lets her live for longer than she was supposed to because OH BOY I’d have killed her by now). I’m just so thankful to have these assholes in my life.

Oof, sorry, I got a bit excited but I hope I answered your question!

[jackywroteabook]

6 Ways to Find Inspiration for Your Story

Inspiration… the fleeting rush of ideas that seem to only come late at night or right in the middle of important tasks. Some days, it seems that inspiration has packed up and left forever – but don’t fret! No matter how hopeless it may seem, there are always ways to get that inspiration flowing again! Here are some of my favorite ways to draw in ideas when writer’s block eats away at you:

1. Personal Experience

A little over a year ago, I joined our local community theatre. My life had never been boring by any means, but since joining the theatre, I’ve had so many incredible (and hilarious) experiences… not to mention meeting quite a few interesting characters. It was like no other place I’ve been. In a time when I was desperate for ideas, a wellspring of inspiration came rushing out of this place. Now, if I were to tell you half of the antics that have gone on behind the scenes of our shows, you would never believe me. My life has gone from fairly normal to feeling like I live in a sitcom 24/7. I’ve found that backstage fun is fuel for comedy – which is my strongpoint in writing.

Though the book I’m working on has nothing to do with theatre, the experiences I’ve found there have inspired so many scenes, characters, and plot twists. You never know when one experience could turn into your favorite idea!

2. People You Know

Don’t be afraid to write about someone close to you. Trust me, I know the awkward feeling of writing about a family member or friend, wondering what they’ll think if they find out you’ve put them into a story as a villain when they’re a hero in real life. Don’t let it stop you! If you ask any writer, they’ll tell you they do the same thing. They play matchmaker with their characters by making their best friend the love interest to the story’s heroine. Most non-writers will understand – and they’re often flattered to think you’d include them! (If you’re too worried, just ask the person. The worst they can say is no – then, you change their character just enough for them to not be suspicious and have fun with your new idea!)

One of my close friends has become one of these fun characters – we’ll call him “Liam,” which is the name for the character he’s inspired. I met Liam when I was the newest person to join a group and he was the first friend I made there. In all honesty, he’s unlike any other friend I’ve had.

Not only does he have a huge heart, but he has never lost his childlike quality. Despite seeing horrible things in his life that scar even the bravest of souls, that childlike innocence has never left him. However, he has triggers that terrify him – such as loud noises. We went out for coffee one afternoon and a wet floor sign collapsed with a loud “BANG!” that made him come out of his seat. It took four of us to calm him back down. You could see the terror in his eyes taking him back to that place of horror – but, once he was able to pull himself back, his playful energy returned. Many people don’t take him seriously because of his childlike qualities – like becoming fascinated with things most people take for granted – but he is one of the most intelligent people you’ll meet… and his fierce loyalty is a rare, wonderful trait.

Recently, I’ve had a “HELP WANTED” sign hanging from the door in my brain that leads to my writing. The main character in my novel is a spunky, outgoing, and odd girl who has been in desperate need of a best friend to help her through the events in her book – and cause a bit of fun trouble along the way. “Liam” was the perfect fit!

(I have yet to tell him about this character, because I’m planning to surprise him with it once I’ve written more of the manuscript. He’s been a huge encourager of my writing and I’m very excited to stick him in.)

3. The Internet!

When in doubt, look it up online! The internet isn’t always your enemy (though it’s quite a lovely procrastination tool). Whether you’re in need of a story idea, or just a prompt to get the words flowing, the internet can be your best friend! Many websites have millions of writing prompts right at your fingertips!

4. Don’t Forget Your Notebook!

Wherever you go, never forget to have some way of capturing an idea the minute it comes – whether you have a physical notebook or a writing app on your phone. You don’t want to come across your best inspiration yet and be caught without a way to write it down! (Though, in the unfortunate case that you don’t have anything to write with, borrow a pen from someone and find the nearest thing to write on. I’ve been known to use tissues, toilet paper, my arm, and just about anything else within reach!)

5. Go out in the world and look for things.

Looking for inspiration isn’t always as hard as it seems. As writers, we’re all guilty of staring at our screens, waiting for the perfect idea to pop into our heads. I do it more often than I’d care to admit. Inspiration doesn’t work that way.

I am the type of person who sits in a meeting and observes my colleagues – every mannerism; facial expression; even just the way they speak when proposing something versus the way they speak in normal conversation. I find the distinct nature of each person fascinating. It helps tremendously with character building!

Have writer’s block? Go out for coffee with a group of the quirkiest people you know and spend four hours letting their conversations inspire you instead of four hours smashing your head against your desk. If you don’t have a quirky group of friends, go out alone or with the person you’re closest to and eavesdrop on the most interesting group of people you can find. Listen to that elderly man in the back of the coffee shop, having a sultry and questionable conversation with his girlfriend over Skype. Watch how that quiet, teenage barista longs to talk to his female co-worker, but can’t bring himself to it. Pay attention to the Dad humming his favorite Disney songs, while his twelve-year-old daughter sits beside him, sipping hot chocolate and reading her favorite horror novel. You never know who or what could inspire your bestseller. Getting out there and experiencing all of the ideas this world has to offer is much more fun than sitting alone in frustration!

6. My final, most crucial piece of advice: Never give up!

It may seem like you’ll never find the right ideas for your novel… but don’t give up hope. Be persistent, keep searching, and I promise you will find your inspiration!

[evakuality]

A wild promt for Davenzi: "My sister wants to get a dog but I want a cat so you're allergic to dogs now" "But I'm not?!" (Davenzi) I hope this helps with your frustration? Writers block? Motivation? 😙

Dear anon.  I know you sent this a very very long time ago in response to my plea for fluffy prompts, and while I didn’t use it then I have been fond of the idea and so here we are.  It went somewhere I hadn’t exactly expected but I hope you enjoy it anyway.  Part one of (probably) two:

The most important part

It’s finally quiet in the apartment, Hans having decided to go out with some of his friends and leaving a blessed silence in his wake.  Not that Matteo doesn’t love Hans; he does.  But his unfortunate new passion is for energetic, loud music which can easily become far too much and far too fast.  And Hans plays it often, assuming that everyone else enjoys it too.  Which is fair; it’s not even that Matteo dislikes it, really.  Just that it’s nice to have some time to himself without the pounding frenetic beat thumping through everything he tries to do.

Matteo lays back on his bed, eyes closed and enjoys the sensation of being alone in a blissful peace.  The bedding is soft under him, and he’s relaxed properly for once.  His hands are clasped behind his head, headphones playing something soft and simple, quietly enough that he can still hear the calm that suffuses the house, just loud enough to be the sort of company Matteo enjoys when he wants some time to himself.

He’s almost asleep, drifting along with his own music, formless and soothing, when his door clatters, thudding back against the wall and letting David in.

Matteo starts out of his comfortable moment, sitting bolt upright with his heart beating a startled rhythm and his headphones slipping off as he takes in David’s appearance.  He’s disheveled, scarf askew, jacket hanging off one shoulder and his shirt twisted awkwardly on his body, which is so unlike him that Matteo can only gape at him.

It takes several beats before Matteo realises David isn’t going to speak, and that he’s going to have to take the lead on this one.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, still sitting on the bed because he’s been too shocked out of his very quiet, very peaceful moment to make any move towards his boyfriend.

“My sister.”

Fear grips Matteo's chest, lancing through him at the multitude of horrible thoughts the two words conjure up.  The only reason why David would be this scattered and odd, and not put together is if something really awful has happened.

“Um… what? .... is she?”

David cuts him off, pacing quickly up and down the space in front of his door.  It’s quickly obvious it’s nothing too serious; David would never sound that mad at someone who was in real trouble.  “She’s completely lost it,” he fumes.  “She wants a fucking dog…”

Blinking, Matteo tries to piece together what’s going on here.  He’s been imagining death or dismemberment, and what he actually gets is a...dog?

“Um, why’s that bad?”

David stops his pacing and stares at Matteo, the look on his one of deep betrayal.  Matteo blinks again.  Maybe it was his previous soporific state, and his slowness to exit the calm bubble, but he’s really not doing a good job of following any of this, and isn’t sure why he’s supposed to understand why a dog is so bad even though it’s clear that David thinks it should be blindingly obvious.

Eventually, David sighs, as if he can’t quite believe he has to explain this, and says, “I want to get a cat.”

As if that clears anything up.  Matteo’s confusion must still be clear on his face because David throws his hands in the air and says, “I can’t get a cat if we also have a dog.”

He starts pacing again, as if this is something of huge import and not just a pet-related meltdown that is probably reasonably easily solved.  Matteo watches him for a few moments as he tries to figure out what he should be saying here.  But it becomes obvious that the muttering David is doing is what he needs to work it out in his own mind.  Any attempt at interjection from Matteo gets a soft growl and so he settles back down onto the bed, puts his hands behind his head again and watches David, feeling fond.

There’s something really nice about the fact that he came here to have this out with himself.  If he’d genuinely wanted to work it through alone he could have stayed at home and paced around his own bedroom.  But he didn’t.  He chose to come to Matteo.  As if, even though he doesn’t want Matteo’s input, he wants his presence.  It feels nice, to be needed even in this small way.

It takes another five minutes of furious muttering and hand waving as David moves back and forth before he comes to a stop in front of the door and turns to look at Matteo.

“I think I have it,” he says, carefully.  "My sister wants to get a dog but I want a cat so you're allergic to dogs now." 

That was nowhere near that solution Matteo has thought they’d get to, so all he can do again is blink in consternation.  He’s doing that a lot this afternoon, it seems.

"But I'm not?!" he says eventually as David keeps staring at him expectantly.  “Allergic to them, I mean.”

David moves then, comes to the bed and slides onto it, slips into Matteo's space as easily as breathing.  Matteo opens his arms up to receive him, letting him settle into a long hug.  “She doesn’t have to know that,” David says cajolingly.

“David, I can’t lie to your sister!”

“Why not?  I do it all the time!”

Matteo laughs, and pulls David in more tightly to his body, enjoys the way he can feel the tension start to seep out of David's as they sit here.  “She’s your sister so you can; I still have to impress her.”

David shakes his head.  “She loves you; I know she’d do this for you.”

“You know I can’t lie well,” Matteo says, trying to inject some logic into the proceedings even in the face of his boyfriend’s deepening stubbornness.  “I’ll mess up one day and it’ll come out and she’ll ban me from your house.”

“That’s okay,” David shrugs, the stubbornness now coming out in a defiant jut of his chin and a mutinous look on his face.  “I’ll just come here.”

“I can’t do it,” Matteo says, shuddering at the thought of getting on the bad side of Laura, who he respects a lot and who he knows David would hate to disappoint if she found them out.  “Can’t you just explain?”

Shaking his head, David sighs, deflating, his misery clear on his face.  “I tried.”

“Why’s it so important anyway?  I thought you loved dogs?”

David shakes his head and shrugs.  “I don’t know,” he admits.  “It still feels like her place a bit, I guess.  I wanted something to make it more mine as well.”

He flops down backwards onto the bed, arms splayed out and eyes closed as he clearly tries to work out some other solution.  Matteo lets him go, then watches him, his chest filling with its usual affection as he does so.  It’s so hard to remember the closed off, shuttered boy who lay here all those months ago.  The one who was still trying to keep Matteo at arms length even while they were slowly building trust and understanding.  

That boy would never have come here in a situation like this; he wouldn’t be so open with his emotions and let Matteo know so clearly just how disappointed he is at the thought of the dog.  He would never have admitted to wanting his own space carved out somewhere.  

“We could have a space together,” Matteo says impulsively.  

When David looks at him, squinting in a way that says clearly that he hasn’t followed Matteo’s trail of thought, Matteo realises just what a strange thing it is to say.  He laughs, self consciously.

“I was just thinking,” he says quietly.  “You could have a cat then, not a dog.  And I could… avoid all the noise of this place.”

David rolls so he’s leaning on his arm and looking closely at Matteo.  “You mean it,” he says.  There’s no question in his voice, and that fact alone warms Matteo.  David knows him so well that he knows it’s not a question.  He does mean it.  Impulse or not, he wants them to be together.

“I do,” he agrees, rolling to mirror David’s position and reaching out his other hand to caress his cheek.  “I love everyone here, but it can be so much sometimes.  And I’ve been thinking for a while that it might be nice to be with you all the time.”

“I’d like that,” David says, moving so he can interlink their fingers.  The way it settles Matteo's heart makes it all feel even more right; there’s nothing that makes him feel better than David’s presence.  David smiles as if he feels it too.  Indeed, he’s much more relaxed now than he was even when he climbed onto the bed.  “Our own space.”

“And a cat,” Matteo says.  “Don’t forget the really important thing.”

David laughs and leans in to kiss Matteo.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll never forget that part.”

And just like that, it seems like they’re going to do this.  This ending to the afternoon isn’t something Matteo would have pictured when he first lay down on his bed with soothing music for a quiet moment, but it also feels natural.  It feels like a lot but it also feels right.  

[ohshcscenerios]

“Ritsu x Haruhi, Lycanthropes (shape shifters), romance/smut, red eyes. I really like the idea of making Ritsu a kingly type while Haruhi is a lowly servant girl working in his castle. And can you make Ritsu a dragon.............and Haruhi is the last female dragon shape shifter.....and the way he finds out is from her eyes.......her red eyes...... Give me this fic daddy?”

I received this prompt request three days ago and I absolutely had to write it. I didn’t expect for it be take so long or for the story to be so long but as most writers know, sometimes stories demand to be written in a certain way. I hope you enjoy!

Golden sunlight filtered through an open window as a new day was born. Life beyond the castle’s stone walls was rising to greet the morning. Birds cheerfully chirped in the blooming sakura trees, families of rabbits emerged from their burrowed nests, and the fields of wild flowers cascading from the castle’s foundation opened their petals for the nourishing sunlight. Beyond the hills of wild tulips the townspeople began their busy daily routines in keeping their kingdom thriving, if not for themselves than to appease the king.

The king had earned his kingdom’s respect since the day of his noble birth for he stood as the last of his kind; a dragon shifter. His vivid red hair represented his strength as not only a dragon shifter but as a leader for the color red represented unmatchable power among his kind.

Or rather – among him.

King Ritsu Kasanoda groaned as blinding sunlight crashed against his tired eyes. He rolled over beneath his quilts and adjusted his feathered pillow before closing his eyes again, hoping he could steal a few more minutes of much needed sleep.

Last night his troubled mind wouldn’t grant him sleep. He tossed and turned but his mind wouldn’t surrender to his much needed rest. The haunting comments from yesterday’s council meeting plagued his mind, forcing him to live a nightmare until he could slip into his dreams.

He was forced to call a meeting among his most trusted advisors and councilmen to discuss the urgent matter of finding an heir to one day pass his throne to. He was unmarried and without children of his own which further complicated his situation.

The truth was, he could pass his throne down to anyone who he deemed fit. The next king wasn’t obligated to also be a dragon shifter. In terms of his kingdom’s success his throne was safe. It was the death of his own lineage that greatly troubled him.

His birth marked the beginning of a new era for it provided his parents hope for the continuation of their kind. However after his tenth birthday their future became drastically bleak. His parents were assassinated by a kingdom three days away who had been declaring war for the past three decades, wagering their land. They were poisoned by one of their maids who had betrayed them for money.

Since that dark day Ritsu wouldn’t dare eat anything unless one of his staff tasted the food first. Ten years later it had become a routine his maids were well accustomed to; all except for one.

A knock sounding on the wooden door immediately caught his attention. He groaned as he ran a heavy hand down his face, mourning his lost opportunity for more sleep.

“You may enter.” He called out.

A small maid slipped past the thick door with his breakfast on a metal tray; porridge with poached egg and fresh strawberries. She walk to his bedside and carefully placed the tray at the bed’s end.

Ritsu hadn’t seen this young maid before. Her appearance was almost uniformed to the rest of his maids; long dark hair, fair skin, and slim physique. However, when she turned to greet him he realized what set her apart. She had the most beautiful brown doe eyes.

“What is your name?” Ritsu asked.

The young maid corrected her posture and answered, “Haruhi. Haruhi Fujioka, your majesty.”

“I haven’t seen you before. Are you a new hire?” He sat up and propped himself against the headboard. His quilts fell into his lap, revealing his bare chest. Haruhi averted her eyes away for the sake of being modest.

“I’ve served in this castle for ten years. I was hired into the kitchen staff. I was asked to bring you your breakfast this morning after your personal maid fell ill.” She answered as she focused on the floor.

Ritsu nodded, her explanation having satisfied his curiosity, and waited for her to taste the porridge. Instead Haruhi curtsied and turned to leave.

Ritsu loudly cleared his throat, “Are you forgetting something?”

Haruhi stopped before she reached for the door and turned around to the scan the bedroom. Her eyes trailed her path, then the bed, then the king himself – instantly blushing upon seeing his nakedness.

“I was just told to deliver your breakfast, your majesty.” She responded, beginning to feel miffed.

She had been working in his castle for nearly ten years now and yet today was the first time she has properly met the king. She had to admit, he was quite handsome. His sharp features and toned chest made him appear very masculine and strong. She quickly dismissed her juvenile thoughts and quietly chastised her lapse in composure. She couldn’t allow herself to have such colluding thoughts about their honorable king.

Ritsu looked at the breakfast tray and cleared his throat again. Without moving, Haruhi followed his eyes and studied the food, wondering what it was she needed to consider. She remembered his silverware, a freshly ironed cloth napkin, and some mint leaves for afterwards.

Ritsu crossed his arms, “If it’s true that you’ve been working in my castle for a decade then you should know I need my food tasted before I can eat it.” He was beginning to sound angry which didn’t fair well with Haruhi. Her honest mistake didn’t deserve his darkening attitude.

She walked back to his bed with a frown, picked up the spoon, and brought a small dip of porridge past her lips. She used her apron to wipe the spoon clean after she swallowed.

“It appears to be fine.” She said, hoping to hide her rising agitation.

Ritsu waved her off, “Very well.”

He wanted to be left alone, to wallow in his frustration in privacy. He didn’t have much time before he needed to promise the throne to an heir and the crushing weight of his reality was slowly souring him.

Haruhi deepened her frown at his rudeness and turned away to leave however something caught his attention; something impossible. No quicker than a blink her eyes flashed a brilliant shade of red before returning to their subtle brown.

“Stop!” Ritsu yelled out as he threw his quilts to the side. He didn’t notice nor cared that his only clothing was slacks, he needed to make sure what he had just seen wasn’t an illusion of his plagued mind.

Just as he grabbed her arm he spun her around to face him and grabbed her shoulders.

“Your eyes… I saw them turn red…” He stammered, praying with as much faith as he could muster in that moment that he wasn’t hallucinating. “You’re a dragon shifter.”

Haruhi stilled in his grasp and stared at him in shock. She knew the king was a dragon shifter. She had known long before she began working in his castle. She didn’t realize he thought he was the only one.

“Yes, I am.” She said.

“You… Do you know what this means? Do you know what this means for our kind? My parents wasted years searching for another dragon shifter. I believed I was the only one…” Ritsu couldn’t control the words cascading off his tongue. The relief he momentarily felt gave way to a conflicting cocktail of emotions burden his chest. If she were truly a dragon shifter then what could that mean for him? Were there others like them who remained hidden throughout the world… or was fate cruel enough to have them stand as the last of their kind?

“Your parents… Where do your parents live?” Ritsu needed to see with his own eyes if there were more like him. It would make sense why Haruhi’s family was able to hide in the shadows for so long. His parents had sent a search party outside their kingdom but never thought to search within.

Haruhi’s irritated expression relaxed as she watched him carefully, “My parents have passed.”

Ritsu loosened his grip on her shoulders and let his hands fall to his side. Fate truly was cruel.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, ashamed of his abrasive behavior.

“They were killed by poachers for their scales. I came to this castle as an orphan. I was given a job and a bed and for that I’ll serve under you until my last breath. I’ve been given a new life, a safe life, and for that I’m grateful.”

Haruhi wasn’t sure why she felt the need to present her gratitude. Perhaps she wanted to offer her thanks while she could freely speak to him or perhaps his disheveled state of mind frightened her. Either way, it somehow succeeded in calming him down.

Ritsu nodded and took a step back, “I’m glad my people have been good to you. However, there is something we need to discuss.”

.

.

“We can’t be the last ones,” Haruhi said quietly, “we just can’t be.” She tried to digest what Ritsu had just told her but she didn’t want to accept the harsh truth. If what he said were true, that his men failed in finding another dragon shifter, then that meant their kind was on the brink of extinction… if not already.

“Unfortunately we are… which leads us to a difficult decision.” Ritsu said regretfully. Now that he had met the last female dragon shifter it would appear their solution was standing right in front of him. However he wasn’t confident if Haruhi would feel compelled to do him this service, even for the sake of their kind. Although he was the king he also knew he was a stranger in her eyes; a stranger who she had just met that morning.

Haruhi watched him carefully for a moment, almost skeptically, “Which decision is that?”

Ritsu took a deep breath and took a moment to mentally prepare himself for the difficult conversation.

“Haruhi, because you are the last female dragon shifter and I am the last male dragon shifter… it could only mean one thing for us. It’s our responsibility to continue our kind.”

“You mean it’s my responsibility to bear your children.” Haruhi said sullenly. She was beginning to understand their situation and what would need to be done for the sake of their kind but she a part of her selfishly wanted to walk away.

Before her parent’s untimely death they taught her to love her special gift and honor the blessing they had been born with however they discouraged her from shifting. They warned her of poachers who didn’t see their second form as a gift of nature but rather a pile of gold. Their scales could be formed into beautiful swords and jewelry which put a hefty price on their bodies. They lived secluded from the main villages to protect their family but unfortunately two poachers caught wind of their humble cottage hidden deep in the wood and they came by night with axes. Haruhi only survived because her mother forced her to hide beneath the floor boards.

She understood Ritsu’s proposal in saving their kind but she couldn’t help but consider if their kind should continue. If they were successful in having children, would she want to raise them in this world? In a world where they’d fear for their lives?

“I understand your proposal, your majesty, but I’m afraid I’m not sure if I should.” She confessed.

Ritsu narrowed his eyes, “You’re not sure you should? Of course you should. If you don’t agree to this our kind will die with us. Dragon shifters will forever be lost to the world.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Haruhi barked back, “This world is cruel and unforgiving. Perhaps there is no longer a place for dragon shifters.”

Ritsu stepped forward as anger quickly distorted his expression, “You will let our kind die? You extinguish our gift?” He couldn’t control his rising voice as unpleasant rage began to consume him.

Haruhi stepped forward defensively, feeding off his anger, “We need to think about this thoroughly-.”

“We don’t need to!” He interrupted, “We have been blessed with this opportunity but you’d rather see this as a curse.” His hands tightened into fists, his chest heaved with labored breaths, and his voice echoed off the stone walls as he spoke.

Haruhi felt herself being provoked to her edge as anger welled inside her, sparking a strange sensation to spread throughout her body. Her muscles tensed while a scolding heat rushed through her veins, making her feel light headed. She had felt this way once before when she was a child but her mother quickly calmed her down before she could shift.

Unfortunately, her mother was no longer here.

Haruhi felt a white heat consume her body before her vision blurred, completely blinding her. It happened so fast yet she felt every second clash against her like an explosion.

Her vision slowly returned, allowing her to first see bright lights cast along shadows before more details came into focus. The bedroom was suddenly smaller, almost cramp, and her view drastically shifted to a higher perspective. Beyond her physical changes she also felt a charged energy coursing through her, almost encouraging her to test her strength.

“You’re beautiful.”

Haruhi looked down and was surprised to see her king appear so small. He stared at her in awe, nearly slack jawed.

Haruhi dared a glance behind her and was shocked to see a slim long body decorated in white scales. The morning sunlight reflected off her scales, making them shimmer like brilliant diamonds. She couldn’t form a single coherent thought as she stared at her new body, completely amazed.

She was beautiful.

A rushing wind brought her attention back to her king except what she found wasn’t the king, per say. He also shifted into his dragon form and now stood before her as a radiant creature. He was larger than her but that was to be expected when comparing a male to a female. His red scales also caught the morning sunlight but their shine was different. They didn’t simply reflect the light but seemed to consume it and project it back with a red hue.

She knew red was a powerful color among their kind and the king displayed that power brilliantly. He radiated the glory of their kind and it encouraged tears to her eyes.

They were the last of a marvelous breed… and she couldn’t allow them to disappear. Now that she stood face to face with her kind she couldn’t allow their species to die in the shadows.

Haruhi knew what she needed to do.

She bowed her head as she lowered her front legs, kneeling before Ritsu. She then lifted her tail, silently inviting Ritsu to proceed.

He lowly growled as he stepped around her kneeling body, mindful of his steps. He didn’t want to crush his furniture below his paws. It was a shame that she shifted in his bedroom considering their limited space but it did provide their much needed privacy.

Ritsu mounted her from behind and carefully situated himself above her hips. He leaned forward and snaked his ling neck around Haruhi’s, pressing his reassurance and gratitude into his gentle touches.

He positioned himself at her entrance and pushed himself into her. Haruhi instantly reacted to the pain, struggling beneath his grasp. He rubbed his head against hers as he growled, begging her to calm down. He didn’t dare to move until Haruhi whimpered, granting him her permission.

Ritsu slowly pumped himself into her, careful not to hurt her again. He nuzzled his head along her neck as he moved, hoping his caresses helped her relax. He was rapidly nearing his peak and after a few more guttural thrusts he expelled his seed into her. Haruhi lifted her hips as he pressed her into the floor.

.

.

Haruhi didn’t know when she fell asleep. She didn’t know if her exhaustion could be blamed on her first shifting or her first intimate experience. Either way, she never expected to wake up in a comfortable bed wrapped in warm quilts.

She slowly opened her eyes to find herself staring at a wooden ceiling, a rather strange sight. If she were in her personal cot in the maid quarters she should have been in a tightly knit stone room with one lamp and one nightstand beside her. Instead, the room she was residing in large and well adorned with antiques and priceless collections.

The window along the far wall proved it was now the late evening.

“You’re awake.” A deep voice said beside her.

Haruhi jerked to her left to see the kind lying beside her – naked. She lifted the quilts that covered her to peak underneath, dreading to know the truth.

She was also naked.

The memories of what had happened that morning flooded into the forefront her mind as she remembered her conversation with the king, discovering they were the last two of their kind, and then…

“You and I… we…” she stammered, mortified. She didn’t want to know what her king thought of her now; a young woman who willingly gave herself away to a man she had just met. She was a rational person by nature and yet she easily offered her innocence to her king.

“Something troubles you.” He commented, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. He saw the confliction in her eyes as she watched him.

Haruhi nodded, “I apologize, your majesty. I’ve shamed myself in front of you. Forgive me.”

Ritsu smiled and shook his head, “No Haruhi, you did the right thing. Because of you our species can live.” He propped himself onto his side and looked down to her, reaching for her hand to lock their fingers together, “Because of you I can pass my throne down to a worthy heir.”

Haruhi arched an eyebrow, “What if we don’t conceive a son?”

“Then we’ll keep trying until we do.” He replied before pulling her close.

[pain-somnia]

(1)so, i've been re-reading AOY for like, the third time, and i just wanted to tell u how much i appreciate the way you write all of the characters. i feel like you approach them with empathy, or at least an understanding of some sort. like, you don't ignore their flaws or their virtues, you don't get viciously against or in favor of any of them. and even if your fic is focused on Hyde&Jackie and their relationship, u give depth to almost all of the characters,

(2) none of them could be replaced with a cardboard cutout, u know? and the dynamics in the group are fantastic, everyone matters to everyone in one way or another (although there are different degrees of closeness, of course). a long time ago i had started reading the eric/buddy fic u mentioned, and while it was well written and intriguing, i couldn't get past the first few chapters bc i can't handle fics that are too biased (not to say that it was bad, it just wasn't my thing).

(3) plenty of other t7s fanfics are biased too (to a certain extent), which is fine and completely normal, but idk, i just love that u seem to care for everyone at least a little bit. it's one of the things that makes AOY so compelling to me. i'm looking forward to what's next, especially bc i wanna know how Hyde&Jackie are gonna deal with their new-but-not-really relationship,

(4)and i NEED more Buddy&Fez, and Jackie&Donna. i also i have a good guess as to the ship you're gonna introduce, so i'm excited to see how you're gonna tackle them 👀. anyway, i didn't mean for this message to get so long lmao. hope you're doing well 💕.

First, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY WORK I’m in awe that you re-read it that much (I’m always in awe when ppl re-read my work)

I’m blushing so hard from your compliments. When I first came up with the idea to do this time travel fic I did mostly focus on Jackie and Hyde but then I started to think about the other characters and how Jackie isn’t entirely selfish and she is a compassionate person, so why shouldn’t relationships with other characters be mentioned or highlighted in some way?

(gonna try and put everything under the cut so I don’t clog up the dash but if it doesn’t work I’m so sorry)

Besides the fact that the show was about the group of friends, a huge bit of inspiration for giving more attention to the other characters especially having them do activities with each other especially outside of the basement actually came from my own years as a teen and into my early 20s. The zenmasters fandom is still really new to me unlike the sasusaku fandom so many don’t know about how I got really sick and lost the closeness I used to have with my irl friends due to my illnesses and inability to do all of the things I used to do with them. This is my way of capturing my love for my old friends in a way.

My home used to have the same feeling as Eric’s basement (every time my family moved my house was still THE house) and I was one of like three friends that were licensed (even up to our mid 20s) and I was the only one everyone fully trusted to drive. So in a way I was the Eric of our friend group especially when you add in my mom’s train of thought when it came to my friends and I which was that she would rather us eat everything in her fridge in kitchen and have her go broke feeding us than for us to be out doing stupid shit. It didn’t stop us from doing stupid shit but that was our life lol

we used to trespass into places (abandoned houses, abandoned asylum, parks and fields and lakes when they were closed at night), I had an ex that stole a golf cart from a security guard cuz it was there and the keys were in the ignition and we all fucking scattered when the guy showed up, we would fuck around at my house or another friend’s house and drinking and weed (and acid and shrooms) were usually involved (I was the mom friend so I always took care of everyone and was designated driver), we went to concerts even if we had to drive to other states and also went to Warped Tour almost every year until I got sick af. We would find the perfect places to watch meteor showers and hold bonfires at a friend’s house (although we did start a bonfire in a soccer field we had no business being in at that time at night).

And we would drive around for hours with no destination. We typically told our parents we were going bowling when we did and we never fucking went bowling lol

There’s so much that we did

This is all the energy of my personal experience being a teenager with access to a minivan and then my own car that really made me think about the T7S gang and even though I want to focus so much on Jackie and Hyde and their romance, I feel like I would be doing such a disservice to the friendships in the show by not having them be actual friends in the story.

I’ve had a friend abandoned by her mother and she moved in with a bf and we all helped her (I had to teach her how to cook rice in a pot cuz her bf didn’t have a rice cooker and my mom made sure she knew she could come live with us if she got fed up with her bf’s family) and my family has opened their home to my friend and her family when they were in between homes. I’ve had to help friends through bad trips. We’ve all had our hearts broken. Some of us have dealt with being queer and learning about our own identities and the struggle with finding out who we really are. I found out my father wasn’t my biological father when I was 20 lol

And we all had each other during those moments. Just like how the T7S gang had each other. So I felt personally invested in making sure to elaborate on moments where they were hanging out and being friends to each other.

And I know. God that fic. Whenever I re-ead that fic I actually skip a lot and my last re-read of it made me feel like I couldn’t read it again just because it is way too biased. Like it completely absolves a certain character of everything and I kind of lost it when Brooke had to apologize to him in the fic....I feel like, you should definitely be able to criticize things that you love and that it doesn’t take away any love to recognize the bad with the good.

Like right now I have to show some bias against Kelso for the part of the story but I keep editing it so it’s not complete hate against him. It’s just for this part of the story he is well just being him which is unfortunately ugly and it has to be ugly until he can grow. But I feel guilty about it lol don’t hate me too much for what he has to go through first

Jackie and Donna. I have such a weak spot for them in my fic mostly because for the longest time I didn’t really have many girl friends. I was always too much of a boy, too weird, too ugly for the other girls so I didn’t have someone I was truly super close with until I was in like 8th grade. And there’s this sisterhood with Jackie and Donna that I wish they did better. Like ignoring s8 completely, there just could have been more. But the sweet moments we got were amazing. I just feel like the writers knew fuck all how to make the girls proper friends without feeling like they were losing the characters and how they were.

i will probably be introducing that ship in chapter 8. I’m just struggling wrapping up the last bit of chapter 7 aka the January 31st part. I’ve just been staring at page 56 and wondering if I’m doing it right.

[just-a-girl-and-her-books242]

Hey, everyone!! This is my first time sharing my work with others. It’s an original story, so I hope you like it.  Please note that it’s about an abuse victim, so it may be triggering for some readers.

I would also like to thank @elailin for your support and encouragement to share this with the world!

-----------------

I watch the wheels in the recorder as they rotate. 

Is this real or another scene? I need to be careful or he’ll strike me by surprise.

The man sitting across from me sips his coffee as he writes in his folder.  He looks familiar but I can’t place him.

“Why don’t we start from the beginning.” He says with a soft voice like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he talks to loud.   “Please state your name and tell us what happened.”

Inhaling, I wrap my jacket closer to me feeling cold through my bones. 

The beginning… they want me to go to the beginning.  

Clearing my throat, I start, “My name is Delta Pennway, and I have been his prisoner for four years.”

****

Without a doubt, spring is my favorite time of year.  I love the way the air smells of flowers blooming and how the trees sprout.  My favorite sent is the smell of roses, it’s calming… reassuring.  My mom used to say that spring is the season for awakening.  The trees sprout new leaves; The bugs come out of their homes to pollinate the plants, and people begin their journey for the perfect summer body.  We rekindle friendships that went dormant during the cold months, while children play in the park no longer bundled in their layers.   

As a little girl, me and my mom started a tradition where we go to the local pastry shop and pick out way too many sweets, then eat them in the park. I always picked these little pink cupcakes that had cream cheese frosting with slices of glazed strawberries on top.  My mom always chose anything with lemon.  Lemon tarts, or lemon meringue pie with more whipped cream than pie.  Then we spend the day sitting on our little quilt that my mom made from old baby clothes and watch the people in the park.    

Even now, with my mom being gone two years, I still keep to our tradition.  That’s where I met William. He was one of those runners in the park. 

I was eating a slice of my mom’s favorite pie and watching a little toddler play with his puppy.  The little boy could not be older than 3 and shouldn’t be tending to the puppy on his own.  His mom, on the phone a few feet away, wasn’t paying enough attention to them.  The puppy had the attention span of a little butterfly, in fact, it was a little butterfly that he was running after, leaving the boy behind.  But the little boy was determined he would not lose his puppy.  He ran after the dog as fast as his stumbling steps could carry him, and like every little kid, he paid no attention to his surroundings.  His puppy was now on the other side of the park, leading him across the runners’ path.  Like any typical male, William was running but instead of watching where he was going, he was staring at the toddler’s mom who still wasn’t paying attention to her kid. 

Shooting up without thinking, I sprint across the grass.  In hindsight, there were a couple different ways I could have intercepted the toddler—Calling out to get his attention, or maybe running for the kid.  Unfortunately, those ideas never occurred to me.  Instead, I ran straight for the man and tackled him.  He might have sued me for twisting his ankle if I hadn’t shared my pastries with him.   He wasn’t strikingly handsome, but he had a softness about his eyes that drew me in, and I enjoyed his company.

Our relationship progressed typically from there.  It started with the occasional coffee dates, which eventually turned into dinners.  He was the guy that girls could only dream of meeting.  He would often surprise me with flowers and picnics.  He was easy to talk to and listened to anything without judging or getting board.  He was even there for me the day I put my cat, Bugs, down. If I ever needed to cry, he would be there with a box of tissues and a gallon of ice cream. 

But do men like that really exist?   Everyone’s true colors have to come out… eventually.

After six months of dating, William started to get clingy.  Anytime I tried to make plans with friends, William would override them claiming it would be better if we stay in that night, or surprise me with dinner plans that we can’t get out of.  My friends tried talking to me about it frequently, saying that William was too demanding, and it isn’t healthy to spend all my time with one person.  But before they could convince me they were right; William would show up.  Even if they made a surprise visit, it was like William always knew what I was doing and who I was with. 

It didn’t take long before I had ostracized myself from my friends.  They became people that I saw by happenstance at the grocery.  Texts were sporadic and the phone calls nonexistent.   But I had the perfect man, and I thought that was enough.

****

I hear my name being called as if it is trying to reach me through water. 

“Miss Pennway.  Delta.”  

I know that voice.  It belongs to the kind policeman.  But those eyes… I’m still in that room. 

Panic rises through me.  I have to get out. 

“Delta.” The officer’s eyes are before me now.  They’re kind, but I’m still freezing. 

He speaks again in that soothing voice.   “Delta, I know that this is hard for you, but I need you to recount everything that happened.  How did he take you?  What happened in that warehouse?”

I try to focus on his words to tether me to this moment.

You’re fine, Delta.  He’s not here.  You’re finally safe.

I take a sip of the water in front of me and try to focus on the buttons of the officer’s jacket. 

Safe.

****

William’s greatest passion in life is his job as a screenwriter.  He started out as a bank teller while doing screenwriting on the side.  Until six years ago, he wrote a hit film called The Flame on Sunday.  It was some kind of science fiction crap that I never understood and found boring.  But I was the only one who held that opinion.  That year, they awarded him the AACTA, Award for Best Adapted Screenplay, along with being nominated for the International Award for Best Screenplay and an Oscar nomination. 

Despite his love for screenwriting, William never liked to talk about his job. But that doesn’t stop me from being curious.  However, any time I ask how he writes his scripts, or where he gets his inspiration, all things I thought I should know being his girlfriend; William mumbles something about an interview, research, or visualization and changes the subject.  I learn early on not to push the subject.  If I did, it would end in some long argument with me feeling bad.  Will always makes me feel guilty like everything is my fault… and maybe it is.  If I don’t push him, we don’t fight. 

Mid - October, I get a strange text from William asking me to come to a warehouse to help him with work.  He says the girl who normally assists him is out of town and he needs someone he can trust to help him.  Ever the dutiful girlfriend, I rush over without thinking twice.  When I get there, I find William pacing outside.  He has been working hard the last few months on a new story and is furious with his assistant.  I think it odd that he has never mentioned having an assistant but push the thought to the back of my mind. 

William quickly ushers me inside to what he calls the staging room.  It could be the size of a studio apartment.  The walls are plaster with a concrete floor.  This is the room that he uses to visualize the scenes he writes.  All writers have different ways of creating and the screenwriter’s job is to create the blueprint to a film.  But William feels it’s important to visualize the scene before adding it to the script to decide if it’s worth having.  

He is the screenwriter, so who am I to question his methods?  

I start coming frequently to help.  After the first week, it’s clear that Will’s assistant will not be returning and Will convinces me to quit my teller job and come work for him.  At first, I’m heavily against quitting my job, but like always, Will gets his way and I help him full time.  Besides, this is his dream, so why shouldn’t I help him chase it… right?

This is the worst job I’ve ever had, and I had some awful experiences as a store teller.  Will always makes me feel uncomfortable.  When we are working, he becomes a different person.  He becomes cold and detached.   I try not to think on it too much; Maybe he’s just trying to keep things professional.  But his eyes, normally a warm brown color, become bleak. They make me feel like I’m floating, lost in space, cold and alone.  This version of Will is not the one I fell in love with.  This person scares me. 

There are many characters I play; a school teacher, a mom, sometimes even playing a young girl and her best friend.  But there are some parts that not even I am prepared for.

One evening, William walks in with a friend of his I’ve never seen before.  Without so much as an introduction, Will tells me to take my clothes off and sleep with this man.  Shocked is not the correct word to describe what goes through me.  Confusion, rage, disbelief—all better ways to describe the storm inside me.  

How could he possibly be okay with me sleeping with another man?  This has to be some kind of sick joke.  

The look that Will gives me clarifies that this is no joke.  Those dark eyes stare me down, making me shiver.  Finally, snapping into reality and the truth of what he’s asking, I turn and storm out of the room, with a seething Will at my heals.  He spews something about me doing this for him because it’s his passion and if I really love him, I shouldn’t have a problem.  But I’ve had enough of this Will.  I’m tired of never seeing my friends, tired of Will making me feel inadequate, and tired of the person he is while in that room.  Surly if he loves me, he wouldn’t ask this.  I make the only decision he leaves me with; I decide it’s time for me to leave. 

Turning slowly, I tell him I can’t take this anymore and that I’m leaving.  We need to take some time apart, and I tell him he needs to find a new assistant because I can’t be around the man he is in that warehouse.  I didn’t think it possible but Will’s eyes grew colder as the words came out of my mouth.  This time they make me feel as though I’m stranded on Neptune, the coldest planet of our solar system. 

Without saying a word, Will walks back inside.  Turning away, I walk home using the time to think through what just happened.  Even with the hour walk, I am no closer to understanding.  By the time I reach my house, I’m still cold, despite the subtle warmth still in the air, and my mind whirls from what happened.  Hoping to feel better in the morning, I settle into my bed and fall asleep. 

Slowly, the corpse of sleep falls away.  Still feeling cold, I pull the blanket closer to me, noticing for the first time that this blanket is scratchy.  I hate scratchy blankets and refuse to buy them—this can’t be mine.  Opening me eyes to examine further, I realize this is not my room.  The walls, which are a light pink color, are now plaster white.  The bed, normally soft and fluffy, is now two wood pallets with a thin pillow on top.  And sitting in the corner are those eyes—eyes so cold, I feel like a corpse abandoned in the snowy streets. 

“Hello, Delta.”  His voice, which used to be like a warm blanket to my soul, now feels as though it immerses me in an icy bathtub.

“What’s going on?  Where are we, Will?” my voice comes out as a child who thinks a monster lives in the closet.

The rat of a man stands and starts slowly making his way toward me.  “You see, my love, you walked away from me… and we can’t have that right now.”  He stops mere inches from touching the pallets.  “I’ve thought about what you said, and frankly, I need you…” He pauses as if to consider his next words.  “You are here because I need you to be my scene girl.  But you treated me poorly by walking out on me.  I needed you to do that scene so I can finish this script, but you left.  Do you know how that makes me feel?”  

“Look, Will,” I try to whisper out, “I’m sorr—”

“Shh,” Will says as he places his finger on my lips.  “If you’re sorry for your behavior, then you will do as I ask.”

“Will,” I try again to speak this time getting to my feet, forcing Will to take a step back.  “I don’t understand what’s going on.  Just let me go home and we can talk about this after I’ve had time to think.”

Rage blooms across his face.  William grips my arm and throws me toward the door.  Storming across the room, he says, “Do you honestly think that I’m going to let you go home?” Grabbing me by the hair, he forces me to my feet and drags me through the door.  “You will finish the scene.”

As we walk down a hallway, I notice five doors with padlocks on them.  Noticing my staring, Will tells me they are for the other people he will bring in.  I can’t believe that there will be more!

How did you not see this coming, Delta? All the signs are there; convincing me to quit my job, ostracizing me from my friends, and I have no family that will come looking for me.  I’m on my own… alone.

As we pass through another door, he leads me into his staging room with a makeshift bedroom.  The room is sparsely decorated, but what I see shocks me further.  This is my bedroom.  There is a Queen-sized bed covered in my favorite duvet with tiny yellow lilies on it.  The walls are a light pink color, and on the bedside table is a picture of me and my mom at the park the spring before she passed away. 

Will continues to pull me toward the fake bedroom.  Just as we reach it, a man turns the corner.  It’s Will’s friend from last night.  Nausea mixed with panic settles in my stomach.   

I turn to Will to plead one last time, but before I can speak, Will pushes me into the arms of his friend. 

Grabbing his laptop, Will sits in a chair on the edge of the makeshift room.   “Proceed.”

This world quickly becomes my life.  Each day is a new scene sometimes with a new stage.  William puts together different makeshift rooms around the warehouse, and new people slowly become prisoners alongside me.  I don’t try to learn their names anymore.  Few people live long after getting here.   Either they kill themselves, or Will gets sick of them and kills them.  That’s what happened to the assistant before me.  Will claims she wasn’t a good enough actress.  Most of the time, I forget what the others look like ‘cause they aren’t here long.  Whenever I’m around them, I focus more on making sure I’m being good.  William has various ways of punishing us if he thinks we don’t do a scene well enough, and if we don’t improve, he doesn't waste any more time with us.  

Punishments were usually by taking away food and water, but Will also enjoys beating us.  If something breaks during a scene, he strikes.  Usually with his fist, foot, or even a riding crop. Sometimes he’ll grab a prop, like a chair, or one dish, and use that.

After the first year, I started to lose hope of escaping.  There are no windows in my room or in the staging room, so that option is out.  I tried to pry the door open, but there are two padlocks on it.  By the end of the second year, William had to start hand cuffing and blindfolding me when I’m escorted between rooms.  The blindfold isn’t really necessary, but the handcuffs are.  Once, and only once, I tried to strangle him when he came to collect me.  But Will is too strong for my weakened state, and it ended with me being choked till I passed out.  He took away my water for two days as punishment. 

This is my life... void of hope. Empty. 

****

The cold is back.  It’s sweeping through the room as if in search of me.  Will I ever be warm again?

“Miss Pennway, are you okay to continue?”  It’s the voice of the officer again. “Are you cold? I could send for a blanket.” 

I’m back with the officer. 

Safe. You’re safe now, Delta.

“Um, no. Thank you.”

This has been harder than I thought it would be, but now they know he’s a monster. 

“Then if you would, please explain how you escaped.”

Escaped?

“I… Um. Well…” I trail off.

I can’t remember.  How did I get here?  When did I make it out? 

That cold feeling hits me as a wall enclosing around me and making the room smaller. 

I didn’t… I didn’t escape!

The door behind the officer slams open and I’m hit by those cold dark eyes.  This was another scene.    

Will, stalks over to me clapping slowly. “Well done, Delta.  You really made me believe this one.  It was your best work yet.” 

When he reaches me, he puts on my blindfold and handcuffs.  Forcing me to stand, he leads me toward my room. 

“I have a little surprise waiting in your room for doing such great work today.” He says leaning close to my ear. 

My mind is racing.  Why didn’t I notice that the officer looked like one of the others?  I believed him to be truly caring.  I was safe. 

We reach my room and Will takes off the handcuffs and blindfold.  Leaning in, he gives me a kiss on my cheek and without a word, turns and leaves, locking my door. 

Stunned, I stand staring at the door for what must have been hours.  I wanted it to be true… That’s why it was so believable. I want to be free and safe.  I want to feel the sun coming out after a long winter.  I want to smell the flowers as I pass by the flower shops.  I want to taste one of those little strawberry cupcakes from the bakery.  But I didn’t escape.  I’m still his prisoner. 

Turning to my bed I spot the present Will left for me.  It’s a piece of lemon meringue pie and one rose… The mark of a new spring. 

The start of the fifth year. 

 -----------------

If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much!!! I know this is a pretty sad ending. If you would like to see it ended differently or maybe a part two, please comment below. Again, thank you for reading!

[rpgmgames]

May’s Featured Game: Cadeau

DEVELOPER(S): HALFWORLDstudios ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Horror, Fantasy, Puzzle WARNINGS: Blood, Mild Gore, Suicide Mentions, Death SUMMARY: Cadeau is an RPG Horror game about a lonely, yet stubborn, young woman named Charlotte-- who finds herself in a world unknown to man, wearing clothes that do not belong to her. Wonderful and tragic events are to follow suit, as all of her greatest wishes come true. However, as these things often go, her happiness does not come without consequence...

Play the beta here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Macdev: Greetings and salutations. I'm Mac, writer, artist, and programmer for Cadeau, as well as the founder of Halfworld. I've loved Rpg games since I was about 10, and have been creating them since! Bruno: My name is Bruno and I'm the music composer. I got into game music approx 2 years ago and I've currently made music for a couple of games and other projects, and Cadeau was the first one of them. Aidan: I'm Aidan/kanteramcneil on Tumblr! I'm one of the voice actors, and I'm super excited to be able to follow Cadeau's progress! I've been in the RpgMaker community for a few years now and I adore being able to watch all the devs progress and grow Rindre: Hi I'm Rin! Currently, I'm on an indefinite hiatus, but Big Mac managed to catch me, chain me up to a chair, and make me say stuff about myself against my will. So... I make games, I guess. - Note from macdev: Erm, not true? These accusations are SLANDER and I will not stand for it. WariA: Hello! I’m WaraiA, one of the voice actors of Cadeau — A pleasure to meet you! I will be voicing the oh so mysterious ‘Your Admirer’, so please look forward to listening to my antics ☆〜（ゝ。∂） I am a Japanese/Chinese Australian born citizen, with a tendency to speak in an American accent. Any pronouns are fine for me My most notable role so far has been Harpae from Pocket Mirror, so some of you may be familiar with my voice already! Nothing much has changed — I enjoy cosplaying, role playing, drawing every once in a blue moon, Final Fantasy XIV, and most importantly, catboys (Nael, I’m coming for you, boy) As ‘Your Admirer’ is a rather elusive character, I cannot disclose much. But I do suggest always keeping one eye open throughout your journey

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Macdev: Cadeau is a game about a troubled young woman named Charlotte Émile-- who is a "tomboyish" and bold individual who has been unfortunately presented loneliness by a series of disastrous events. After giving up on companionship, she miraculously receives an affectionate letter from a mysterious person aliased as her "Admirer". This "Admirer" character beckons poor Charlotte to visit them at a mysterious well in the woods, and to come armed with nothing but a strange golden coin. From there, madness ensues. Our protagonist must learn of her past and the events that lead to her misfortune, all while becoming entangled in a family drama rooted in witchcraft, raging years before her unexpected arrival. It is a story about self-love, friendship, acceptance, magic, and all that corny-ness. Sounds fun, right? My initial inspiration was The Witches House. The game was originally meant to be simple, and maybe an hour or 45 minutes long. A simple story, and a straightforward 2-ending path.... How have we managed to get here from that?

How long did you work on your project? *Macdev: Two years, I believe! Its anniversary is April 8th. In the beginning, it was very off and on-- because I was having a difficult time with school and-- as I mention-- organization. So not a whole lot of progress was made then. I'm proud to say I've been chugging quite a bit faster than my previous pace!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Macdev: My inspiration would probably lie in Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts, and Alice returns to madness. As for RPG games? The Witch's House, Havenfell, and Pocket Mirror. As well as many other beautiful artists and creators in the video game community. Overall, my biggest inspiration for this game has got to be the stop-motion movie: Coraline. I even reference the movie once or twice in Cadeau. The tone of Coraline, and the whimsical yet eerie people and creatures within it give me inspiration for this game. It was very much a favorite of mine when I was younger, and that still applies today!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Macdev: The biggest problem I've run into has been a lack of structure. In the beginning, I hadn't even written out the story halfway. I was just pulling ideas from thin air, going back and forth, and deleting entire concepts-- only to bring them back and re-arrange them as I went. Characters weren't fully dished out; the game didn't even have an ending. This state of creating is fine, but not when you have other people expecting things from you. Thankfully, things are sailing much MUCH smoother than before.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Macdev: It's absolutely taken a turn from what it was originally! As I say, it was meant to be an extremely short game in the beginning, and now obviously that’s not the case. The goal for Cadeau now is: around 2-3 hours long in playtime, and full of many diverse character types! As well as a storyline that extends far more than face value. Which is in high contrast to the basic, short, immemorable experience that it was going to be.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Macdev: I do have a wonderful, beautiful, talented team working with me on Cadeau. - A composer! (Bruno Buglisi), - As well as voice actors! (WariA as Allete, Aiden/kanteramcneil as The Botanist, and Rindre (who I have definitely not kidnapped...) as The Maiden) I met everyone in the team through volunteer posts-- and I had never done that before-- but it worked very surprisingly well! We worked very quickly together, and we had a very mutual understanding of what each other wanted. It feels good to know I have such talented people helping this game come to fruition. I owe a whole lot to them for helping the game become what it is now.

What was the best part of developing the game? Macdev: Being able to make the world in your head interactable, for sure. Since I was 8, maybe even younger, I have loved writing stories and making art. Webcomics were my main thing as a kid, so story-telling is something I’ve always loved. So, the fact that I can turn my ideas into something someone can experience and interact with is a wonderful feeling. There's nothing more fulfilling, honestly!

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Macdev: Very often, actually! I try not to ride too close to the material I see in other games, but I do gain lots of inspiration from my fellow creators! One thing I am laser-focused on, though, is making Cadeau quite unique content-wise. I want it to have very interesting, uncommon puzzles and mechanics that you may not expect from this type of game-- or one of this engine. So far, I think I've achieved this-- so look out for that!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Macdev: My favorite character has got to be The Botanist. At the beginning of the game he has no dialogue, yet still presents such a strong personality. They are kind, thoughtful, and absolutely adorable. Look at that foofy hair! I'm a sucker for it. Their character arc is something I'm excited for. It's been a blast writing it so far-- and I won’t spoil anything-- but you guys will love him. I'm sure of it. Now if we're talking character design, Naël has got to be my favorite. He recently received a “tune-up,” as I would like to call it, and I think everything works together very cohesively in his design now. It's probably one of my favorites out of all of them, at this point.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Macdev: Thankfully, things worked out perfectly-- and the universe blessed me with a wonderful team in the end-- but it was very stressful once I realized I had asked for help way too early. I essentially made a single map, and a little character sheet-- then asked for a whole team to help me out. As I said, it luckily worked out in the end. Now we have so many amazing people helping us-- but we also lost a few in the madness-- and that's a mistake on my part, 100%. If you don't know what you want, it's hard to ask for help. It will lead to confusion, lots of back and forth, frustration, etc... Just wait until your way further in development. Trust me. I know it’s easy to jump the gun and shoot for the stars, but sometimes it won’t work out as well as it has for the Cadeau team!

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Macdev: I won't say as of now! The idea of a sequel/prequel has floated around, but if it does come to fruition, it won't be until way after the release of Cadeau. We'll just have to see. (This isn’t to say I’m not hopeful!)

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Macdev: I have so many amazing project ideas lined up for after the release of Cadeau. I won’t spill too much, so they'll be more of a surprise-- but they range from classic, adventure-themed true RPG's-- to 3D teenage-thrillers. I'm honestly stoked, there's so much in store for Halfworld.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Macdev: I think my biggest fear is letting people down. Also, I worry about losing interest or having people form the idea that the game is never going to be completed. It’s just going to take some time, is all, and that’s okay!

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Macdev: I already mentioned above not to jump the gun and ask for help too early, so some more advice I'll give: is to keep all your material, all your ideas, and all your concepts in one concise place. I would say do it digitally from the get-go, but if you would prefer to write it down physically that's fine! Just make sure it's only one or 2 notebooks, and not 13. The information for Cadeau is spread throughout my hideous mound of notebooks, as I get up during ungodly hours of the night to scrawl a sudden idea down. So, I'm currently in the process of moving them to one digital spot-- and while it's generally easy-- I would have been able to avoid it if I had just put everything in one spot in the beginning. Oh, and back up your progress regularly! I have separate backups of Cadeau from months in 2 different years, and in 4 different places. So, I take backups very seriously—and so should you!

Question from last month's featured dev @atlasatrium: What's your favorite RPG Maker game and why? *Aidan: I love End roll, Ib, OFF, Prom Dreams, From Next Door, and Aria's Story! Bruno: Mm, definitely Long Gone Days (though it’s not being made on rpgmaker now) Midnight Train, Heartbeat and Glitched! WariA: I don't really have any :0 the devs I've worked with so far have all been really sweet (´꒳`);; Macdev: This is a tough question! I have a lot of favorites. Probably Stray Cat Crossing overall, but I also love Home and Starboy. Starboy brings a lot of memories, and Stray Cat Crossing was what inspired me to start making games! Oh, and Home is just very cute.

We mods would like to thank HALFWORLDstudios for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Cadeau if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Atomic Monsters

I watched this at least a week ago, but just didn't get around to rewriting my notes into a post 'til now.  I did actually find this the best episode so far, but lets be real, that's such a low bar to clear at this point it says basically nothing.

The opening sequence is really fun!  I found the whole thing genuinely enjoyable, both the action itself and that it included exactly the kind of return cameo I can actually get behind.  No retcons or resurrections that make death somehow even cheaper or ruin the original finish to the character's story!  Not even to mention that, instead of existing just for the sheer fanservice of it?  A sequence like this is actively improved by giving us a familiar face we have investment in to keep it from being all just random unfamiliar cannon fodder getting offed.

Unfortunately, this isn't the rousing endorsement it could be when we know that both expanding to a big action sequence and bringing Benny back for it were actually Jensen's ideas.  Not even to mention that the thing which really works best in the episode?  It's the dream sequence that's not actually connected to anything else and doesn't have to worry about continuity to work. This is my surprised face.

I enjoyed the exchange between Sam and Dean in the kitchen.  The meat man conversation over the bacon was rather silly, but in a fun way. I've seen some people reading things into it (it's insulting Dean doesn't know the slang, Sam is randomly vegetarian now) that I didn't really see there.  I did appreciate how Sam was weirdly jumpy and had trouble meeting Dean's eyes after the creepy alternate world dream.  I thought it worked really well for both slice-of-life and Sam’s reaction.

In terms of the Winchester's case, well, for the most part it could have been worse.  I don't honestly believe even if I hadn't been spoiled that I wouldn't have immediately suspected the parents from their introductory exchange about how Billy playing in the big game was more important than a cheerleader's death.  I think it was supposed to be a retroactive subtle clue, but it was more of a clue-by-four.  So the “mystery” of tracking down the monster was pretty lost on me.  I did like that the one girl having braces was a clue!  But I also thought the scene with her rehearsing her speech on a live mic in an empty auditorium was weird and contrived.  I straight out cannot forgive that a girl was literally abducted from the school campus and NOBODY checked the security footage near her car fucking IMMEDIATELY well before Sam & Dean.  C'mon.  Then, of course, a couple random middle-aged suburbanite humans get the drop on Sam and Dean, because Dabbernatural really just loves to make them incompetent so plots happen.

Then the big reveal and blah blah blah, kid accidentally ate his girlfriend.  WHAT WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO???  Um, maybe try not being scumbags?  Idiotic scumbags at that, abducting a second girl from their son's own school instead of somebody that wouldn't be missed or even, hey, maybe encouraging him to try harder not to eat people.  Don't try to sell me on this pseudo hallmark 'but they just love him so much' bullshit.  At least the kid has more self-awareness and conscience than his fuckwad parents.  

Then we get to the infuriating character assassination part of the programme.  Having Sam and Dean say that they'd do the same thing as the dad for Jack their “son”?  Fuck you very much, show.  I could maybe, maybe, see Sam or Dean kidnapping and draining the life out of an innocent to save the other at their most desperate worst.  Though I think the only time they even really get close to that kind of an actively, knowingly evil choice is with Doc Benton.  Not only do I not buy for a second that they would do that for the totally-really-their-actual-child-for-reasons albatross Dabbernatural has shoehorned into their lives?  Struggling to do the right thing even when it hurts used to actually mean something – it was always a very important qualifier that while Sam or Dean might make that choice, the other would not let them.  So having them both agree this kind of straight up villainy would be a-okay for oh-so-totally-loveable-no-really-woobie-blob Jack ...

Like carelessly assassinating every human in the BMoL headquarters, it fundamentally fails to understand what it is that keeps Sam and Dean from being the monsters.  Hint: it's not just that the show centers around them.  “We do the ugly thing so that people can live happy” - these moronic hacks seem to be actually trying to parallel Sam and Dean saving innocent victims and the world to human monsters that were going to selfishly help their son eat his way through the entire goddamn cheerleading squad.  Am I getting this wrong somehow?  Is there some other, less appalling, reading here that I'm missing? This whole scene honestly made me nauseous.

They talkity-talk on for a while longer, but it's really not much better.  Sam declaring that God was totally done with them was the writers putting those words in his mouth based on nothing.  At it’s very best, it was Sam’s bad habit of convincing himself conclusions he’s come to are true because he wants them to be.  So them both just deciding to believe it's true after Chuck has admitted to orchestrating their entire lives … I'm not sure if we should conclude the Winchesters have brain damage or if that's just the writers.  Especially when the underlying reason for it is nothing more compelling than , “Watch the Winchesters see-saw on the angst fulcrum completely at random!  Yay!”  If this was actually well written, there would be some precipitating reason for Sam to suddenly be the one being all fatalistic while Dean is accepting.  Instead, the writers  just slap some coin-flipped angst angst angst on the page and meander on in a supposedly forward direction.

So then there's the other half of the episode, the Becky storyline. Am I the only one a little disturbed that Becky's first reaction to seeing Chuck was to look scared and try to run away?  Like, they're exes and all, sure, but she doesn't know any of the god stuff yet – I think the only thing she even says about their breakup is that Chuck dumped her.  Is that reaction supposed to be yet another bit of “new canon” showing how Chuck was just that terrible all along? But then she does let him in, so maybe we're just supposed to take it as Becky still having a tendency towards dramatics?  I honestly don't know, but it was weird to me.  

I do genuinely love that they had Becky go to therapy and realize just how absolutely fucked up what she'd done was and ultimately sort herself out to become someone who seems to be a well-balanced adult. A well balanced adult that didn't have to give up being a fan for that!  Seriously, kudos to the writers for this, because 7.08 is such a loathsome episode that otherwise ruins Becky as a character.   Though I do have to nitpick a bit – while I get that they wanted to put SPN merch in Becky's home as a callout to her still being a superfan?   In the show's universe, Chuck's books were never that popular, so I'm having some suspension of disbelief issues that there would be Funkos for them.  We could pretend they were customs, but she's got at least one Impala, so even that doesn't quite work.  I'm not entirely sure who “people only want them sitting around doing laundry anyway” is a dig at, but I'm giving it the side eye.  

I also am not entirely sure what to make of Chuck's whole no one needs me I kinda hate me I'm all lost and don't know what to doooooo shtick.  Is this a game he's playing?  Is he really that wishy-washy? Did some of Dabb's sad internal monologue as showrunner somehow end up in a script by accident?  

He goes on like that and laments he's lost the Winchester's trust and had words with them or whatever, and then he zaps Becky and her family away at the end.  Like, if he cared enough about Becky to care about her opinion, why does he turn on her, too, just like that?  I guess we're supposed to see it as him having found his mojo in her space and vanishing her because taking over her space that's working for him currently is his latest whim.  I suppose they're intending to show Chuck as just being that capricious and flighty, but I don't know that it works for me.  The way they've been writing him he's acting so randomly and impulsively that it's kind of unbelievable he can even sit still at a keyboard long enough to write another Sam and Dean installment.  Again, I definitely find it unbelievable that the Chuck they're giving us now would be capable of playing the long game that he would have had to for him to be actively behind everything.  Until he suddenly got impatient and lazy and popped up in the cemetery at the end of the last finale ... for reasons … and is now just … like that … because.

Not to mention that his powers are, big shock, just as arbitrary as everyone else's in the current show.  He can't actually see what is happening to Sam and Dean because of the bullet sapping his power or whatever, but we're supposed to be worried about the ominous ending he's writing for them because … he's got those god powers to make it happen, I guess?  Uh...

I will grant that the ominous bobbing of Sam and Dean Funkos' heads to Chuck's furious typing was a wonderfully foreboding shot to end on.