#i had the worst case of the blocks like you wouldn't even believe

[aphrogeneias]

i just don't know what to do with myself — one-shot

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x assistant!reader

summary: you and eddie got into a fight for the first time since you started... whatever it is there is between you. it's a lot to process, but he can't stay away from you for too long.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: angst with a happy ending. drinking and driving (don't do that, kids). jealous!reader. smut (+18) with feelings. possibly dubcon (one of them is slightly intoxicated). eddie munson's puppy dog eyes.

author's note: it's been a long time coming... thank you to all those who waited <3

The street around him was busy, the rows of bars all over the block bursting with people. The yellow light from the lampposts and the neon red sign from the bar he'd parked right under lit his car from the outside in, a sickly kaleidoscope of the night life he was trying to run from, but Eddie made no move to leave.

He didn't want to.

It was a way to torture himself — unconsciously, maybe. Life went on around him, loud and bright, but inside, everything was dead still.

Eddie thought about you as he took another sip from the bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on the middle console. You were supposed to go home from the shoot with him. Did you take a ride with someone else? Did you take the subway home? If he knocked on your door now, would you answer it?

Had he crossed a line? No, scratch that. He'd crossed several lines the day he led you into his bed, and several other ones before that. That wasn't the question he should be asking, but Eddie couldn't help the thoughts that lingered like a cloud of smoke over his weary mind.

He'd left the photo studio that day a mess, your words ringing in his ears like bells. “I don't want to talk to you right now”, you'd said. Did you mean it? Should he not have insisted, then? Did he make everything worse?

He didn't even know what exactly he did wrong. You'd said it was your mistake, actually, and the more he thought about it, the more it broke his own heart.

Was being with him a mistake? Letting him in, that was your mistake?

Oddly enough, if that was the case, he understood. After all, he was the one who twisted the nature of your relationship, and you let him. It was selfish, but from the moment he saw you, he had to have you. The girl in the background who took his entire attention.

You still had it, it was irrevocably yours. Eddie thought of you every day since then.

And, perhaps, he thought, the worst thing about being away from you was the fact that he'd always believed you had the power to make everything right.

Whether it was your unwavering presence, a rock in the middle of the storm that seemed to be his life, or just your way of coming up with the most logical, practical decision to his most out-there problems — and even when you didn't, you were there. Just there, with a hand to hold, with a lap to lay his head on, with lips to kiss him and tell him everything was going to be alright.

Now that you'd turned your back on him, he didn't know what to do with himself.

The radio was long forgotten, but still on. Through the static, Dusty Springfield's voice came through, the orchestral track rising and rising behind it. He recognized it from one of his mom’s old records, and chuckled to himself, humorlessly.

In one moment, he hung his head over the steering wheel, hitting it with his forehead. In the other, it was like the car gained a life of its own.

Dusty’s voice carried on with the wind.

That small apartment building hadn't always been your home.

It was one of Rick’s apartments, where he'd let you live in — insisted on it, really — because your old one was falling apart and he didn't want you getting in another fight with your landlord. If Rick hadn't, then Eddie was ready to ask you to live with him.

Wouldn't be such a smart decision, looking back at it.

He walked up the stairs feeling less determined, more defeated than in the past few days. Lethargy sat on his bones, and he didn't know if it was the alcohol, the lack of sleep, or his brain that refused to shut down.

He just needed to see you.

Time stood still as he waited for you to open the door.

In those few, but long, moments, Eddie decided he would be fine if you shut the door on him the second you saw who was waiting for you on the other side. At least he would be able to see your face again.

Any other day, he'd laugh at the pity party he's throwing himself, but his heart ached too much to have any sort of self-awareness — see, he had never felt this way before.

When the lock moved, the key turned, and your sweet, confused face appeared through the doorway, something squeezed and bled inside his chest. He couldn't speak, but you did.

“Eddie?” You frowned. “What happened?”

“Hi.” He said, almost breathless, and suddenly, he doesn't feel as tired.

You were on your sleep clothes, a button down pajama set he'd sure seen before. A sight for sore eyes, with your sleepy face furrowed in confusion. If he touched you, Eddie mused, you'd be warm all over. It filled him with a longing greater than he thought he could handle.

“Hi,” you responded, opening the door a little wider, silently letting him in. He noticed you had almost let a pet name slip, “what's wrong?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

He stood in the middle of your living room, hands on hips, ready to wage war. It was frustration, not only due to what you'd said, but also to being in the same room as you and not being able to touch you. It raged inside of him, making his hands itch.

Eddie watched as you sat on the armrest of your couch, and struggled to find your words. “I'm sorry I haven't reached out. But to be fair, neither has you.”

“I thought you didn't want to hear from me.”

“Oh, Eddie. No! I'm…” You sighed, pinching your nose between delicate fingers, and your shoulders fell. “I'm embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed of what?” He asked, slowly. Crossing his arms, bracing himself.

“Of everything I said to you! I overreacted. I saw you with that model and all these insecurities came through. I couldn't keep it in so threw it all on you, and I couldn't take it back anymore. I feel ridiculous now.”

His eyebrows furrowed deep as he listened to you explain yourself, a whine coming through your lips as you got close to finishing. He tried to understand, his resolve slipping through his fingers.

“You could have talked to me instead of walking out.”

“I know!” You finally looked him in the eyes. “Like I said, I got embarrassed, and I thought you were mad at me…”

“I am. Still am, for the record.”

“And you have every right to be.” You looked defeated. Eddie wished he could change that. “I'm sorry. I should have talked to you. Actually talked.”

“It's just…” Eddie turned on his axis, flailing his arms around. “What were you thinking? What was that?”

“I saw you with that model and just couldn't help but think of all the better options you have out there. All the women surrounding you just seem like a more obvious option than me. Sometimes I can't help but wonder why you brother with this complicated thing we have when you could have anyone you want. Easily.”

He crumbled, then. “Oh, sweet girl…”

His feet moved first, towards you, and his knees followed, bending to your level. You looked down at him, eyes wide, as he splayed his cold hands over your bare thighs, making you flinch, but not move away.

“I don't want anyone else. You're the only one I see. All those other people… they don't exist to me. You have to know that.”

Tentatively, you reached out, twirling a lock of his hair around your finger. “Forgive me for doubting you?”

It was his turn to sight then, resting his head on your knee. He stood again, this time taking you with him. “C’mere.” He said, pulling you in.

Those same cold hands frame your face, pull you to his lips with fervor. He kissed you like he never did before. Hungry, ready to devour. Bumping your body back into the couch behind you, careless in his eagerness. Hands gripped you tight, pressed you close to his body. Begging silently, don't go.

“Ed,” you pulled back slightly, resting your forehead on his. “How much did you have to drink, honey?”

You must have felt it in his breath. He felt ashamed too, just as you did a mere minutes ago, but didn't have it in him to argue.

“Baby, please.” He said, running his nose over your heated cheek. “Not much, not nearly enough. Jus’ need to feel you. Please.”

“Are you sure?” Your breathing trembled as he ran his hands over your waist, down to the hem of your sleep shirt and under it, feeling your skin under his fingertips.

It felt like redemption.

He didn't take time to answer you, instead kissing you again. Tasting you on his tongue, drinking from you. Eddie kissed with his whole body, entangling himself on you, surrounding you on him. He needed to be the only thing on your mind. Bruising your lips with his, sucking your tongue as you mewled against him.

It didn't take long until you were clumsily walking back into your room, bumping into the walls along the way. He'd walked you back into the wall in the small corridor, kissing down your neck, unbuttoning your shirt with unusual dexterity for someone who had way too much bourbon in one night. Your pajamas fell into the floor before you even reached your bed.

Eddie whispered sweet nothings as he took in your body, never leaving you without his touch. He took the time to remember you — because a few days were enough for him to miss you to the point of forgetfulness.

To remember the way you liked to pull on his hair when he was between your thighs, covering your pussy with his mouth. He sighed with reverence against your swollen clit, pulling it between his lips, revelling in the sounds he pulled from you.

He let you grind against his mouth, fucking you with his tongue.

“Baby, baby, baby.” You whined. “Don't stop.”

He let his body answer for him, pulling you closer by the thighs, letting them close around his head. Letting you use his tongue, he let you ride out your high, but just barely enough until he was crawling over your spent body, still trembling under him, peppering kisses all over your torso.

“Missed you so fucking much.” He mumbled into your skin, “Don't do this to me again.”

You shook your head into your pillow, “I won't. I won't.”

Still keeping your legs open, grip hard enough to leave bruises, he positioned himself in your entrance. He couldn't stop touching you — face pressed into your face, taking in your scent, running the reddened head of his cock over your sensitive cunt.

“Don't want you away from me ever again. Promise me, baby.”

“I promise.”

It was no more than a broken moan as he entered you, filling you up to the brim, barely giving you time to adjust. You squirmed under him, grasping for purchase on his back, nails scratching down his skin.

“Fuck, baby.” He breathed. He knew he sounded frenzied, desperate for you. It wasn't like he had it in him to care, not when you felt like velvet around him. “That's it. That's it.”

He kept a slow but steady rhythm, fucking into you with purpose, heavy balls hitting your ass with each long stroke. His head hung in your neck as he heard your moans grow louder and louder, the wet sounds of your sex filling the room.

“Yeah? I know. I know, sweetheart.” Eddie kissed the junction between your neck and shoulder, feeling your skin rise. “You missed me too, didn't you?”

“S’much.” You whimpered, clenching around him harder.

Without warning, he picked up the pace, feeling you were close. One of your legs lifted to his shoulder as he pistoned into you, hellbent on making you cum. He thrusted again and again and again, like a mantra. Like a plead.

As you shook underneath him, he kept going. Going and going and going.

He hoped that was enough to make your thoughts stop running from him. You could talk in the morning.

[noeou]

DATING ADVICE 4 DUMMIES.

asking your crush for dating advice, only to use it on them.

includes: ace trappola, jamil viper, and floyd leech. ( x gn!reader )

next parts: currently unavailable.

contains: pure fluff headcanons and drabbles. more old formats because this is an old prompt, may come back to this format tho.

ACE TRAPPOLA

he’s far from experienced when it comes to this so he’ll also suggest going to trey or cater, even vil! but his heart couldn’t take helping you win another’s.

if you insist, he doesn’t want you to get embarrassed when you attempt to ask the person out so he gives you very basic stuff instead of bad advice.

though he wants to give you bad advice, as mean as it sounds.

he gets a lot quieter and fidgety, finding every excuse to leave in the least obvious way possible (spoiler: he failed.)

“hey, can i ask you a question?” you asked, feet falling into step with his as you made your way to your next class.

“yeah yeah, shoot!” ace slung an arm around your shoulder as you walked, so you’d not get swept away from the oncoming crowd of students.

“ah, well.. you see, there’s this boy—”

“‘s he giving you trouble?” ace raised a brow curiously, subconsciously tightening his grip around you.

“no no, nothing like that.” you hid your smile, letting out a sigh. “i need your advice… asking him out. like on a date.”

ace’s arm became dead weight around you, immediately pulling away from you.

he hesitated, filling the silence by clearing his throat, covering his frown with his now free hand. "oh. i think i understand."

an innocent joy laced into your features; if this weren't the context, there wouldn't be a bittersweetness in his heart at the sight of it.

"so you can help me?" you asked.

"no." he crossed his arms, watching your enthusiasm disappear. "why on earth would you come to me for that? trey and cater are ten times better at this kind of stuff."

you sighed, "it doesn't matter, you must have something!"

“yeah, i guess. ask them to meet you at sam’s or something. then take them where you please, when they say yes.”

“you think they’ll say yes?” your grin returned at the thought of it.

“mhm, imma head off.” ace nodded as to say goodbye, wanting to put a distance between you both as soon as possible.

“wait wait—” you grabbed his wrist, panickedly, “i won’t get the chance to request an audience at sam’s if you run off..”

“you want moral support?”

you stared at him, dumbfounded, “no, think more… outside the box, as they say.”

a mess when he puts the dots together. during last block before dismissal, what you were implying clicked. the thought of it made focusing near impossible.

best believe he was the first one out of class and was early to meet you at sam’s.

still, any person that approached the shop gave him a sense of nervousness that he may have misread the situation.

“oh my.. i invited you here and you got here before me. were you waiting long?” you placed your bag on the table ace was seated out, desperately searching for the courage you had this morning.

“just ask me.” had deuce not slipped up about ace’s reciprocated feelings, you would’ve misinterpreted his glare for anger.

sheepishly you chuckled, “wh— uh, well… if you know what im gonna ask, why don’t you just answer?”

not that he’d admit, he wanted to hear it from you but this’ll do for now. confirming his suspicions, his cold gaze melted to a warmer one. one you preferred more than the former.

JAMIL VIPER

much like ace, he thinks worst case scenario. i mean, what are you supposed to think when your best friend asks for ‘boy advice.’ but once you clarify, he still couldn’t be more confused.

while he wanted to recommend focusing on school, he wasn’t completely sure if he wanted it for your success or his selfish hope.

withholding his thoughts, he recalled what he remembered the romance movies his sister would watch at home, as if they were realistic.

it wasn’t his intention to give you the worst advice possible, he just didn’t know what else to tell you.

maybe asking jamil for dating advice while he was on an unstable ladder, helping you polish one of the many dusty lightbulbs in ramshackle wasn’t the smartest idea.

he almost fell and hurt himself because of the mini heart attack you caused him.

“ow.” he sighed, grabbing his ankle.

in a rush you went to grab him an ice pack, apologizing profusely, “where does it hurt?”

jamil studied your expression as you put pressure on his ankle with the ice pack, still going on with apologizes.

it was times like this that made him think that your feelings were for him, but it could be a misunderstanding on his part.

“who is he?”

you looked up at him, confused.

“it will affect my answer.” he sighed.

“oh.. i, uh. you can’t know.” you pulled back, awkwardly.

the silence held an unfamiliar undertone that you couldn’t quite place.

jamil struggled to his feet, looking anywhere but you, “i’ll head off now, i’ll take the necessary herbs to prevent swelling. thank you for your time.”

the rest happens over text, late into the night. yes, he was still thinking about it then.

when you used the advice on him, he thought you meant to text someone else (something kalim does often.)

he’s very relieved, in the end. don’t let him forget how nervous he was when you originally asked, though.

the brightness of your lock screen lit up your dark room with a ‘ping!’ you didn’t know how to react to the message you reviewed this late into the night.

jamil: just ask him.

after a few deleted messages, you managed to ask him why he was still up before placing your phone back down.

jamil: can’t sleep.

____: wanna call??

jamil: i cant

[ you reacted with a ‘?’ ]

____: is smth wrong why are u being so dry wtf ??

____: don’t leave me on read.

____: i need to call u to tell u smth

____: oh come on

____: fine i like u

[ you blocked this number ]

not even ten minutes later, you could hear the clicking of pebbles against your window.

you peeked out and were greeted by the vice house warden. quickly your grabbed a paper, scribbling something on it and taping it on there.

were you petty for taping ‘Read at 11:28PM’ on your window? yes. would you get scolded for it tomorrow? yes. but it’s worth it.

FLOYD LEECH

funny enough, he was just asking jade for advice on making you take a hint. you don’t understand how badly jade wanted to snitch, but your conversation was already so awkward, it hurt enough.

definitely tried to put on the ‘heartthrob’ act, only making it cheesier than necessary. he didn’t really give you any advice, more of like reasons you should date him instead.

he hadn’t a doubt it was him you wanted to ask out, but he wanted to seal the deal (if that makes sense.)

“hey, shrimpy!” floyd waved enthusiastically at the sight of you.

a smirk made its way on jade face as he greeted you, “y/n. can i get you anything?”

“no, i’m alright. thank you, jade.” you turned towards the other, “i wanted you— i need to speak with you.”

ignoring the ‘he’s already yours’ from jade, floyd whisked you off to talk in a more private setting.

“what’s up?” he asked, using your shoulder as an armrest.

you looked up at him nervously, “i was wondering, say.. well, actually let me ask; have you ever had a crush before?”

“yeah, you.” he replied nonchalantly.

your face became warm at the thought of the different implications the statement held, choosing the safest one. “me? well, yes i have as well. or i do, present tense.”

“what are you talking about, shrimpy? i didn’t ask anything.” he returned.

“nevermind. i just wanted to ask will you—”

“yes.” he teased once more.

“no.” you nervous gaze turned into one of irritation. “will you give me advice for asking someone on a date, romantically.”

for the first time, the eel was genuinely surprised. “it’s not me?”

while you weren’t a liar, you couldn’t admit to it yet. you’re plan did backfire, but you’d be sure to have the last laugh.

when you went to thank jade for his words of wisdom, you didn’t notice his twin behind you. the amount of teasing you received made you regret going through with it.

bragged to azul and jade nonstop about it later, honestly, as he should.

“what is that i hear, shrimpy?” your eyes widen at the familiar voice.

jade let out a chuckle, prompting you to toss your napkin at him.

“hey, floyd! long time no see.” you waved awkwardly.

floyd slid into the booth seat across from you, “did you seriously ask my brother for advice on asking me out?”

“like you didn’t do the same.” jade glared, “kicking me won’t shut me up.”

“anyways, have i told you how adorable you are, shrimpy?”

[astrum-aetherium]

i’m rather fond of the idea of bunny walking into henry’s house , no warning just barging in like he does, only to find henry fucking y/n (loudly)

do you know what, anon? that (loudly) killed me. and this is not to say i wasn't intrigued by the idea in the first place — believe me when i say i was, and how strongly so, too — but that single addition, that seemingly harmless adverb in brackets... it finished me off. you double-tapped me. you knocked me unconscious and had to get a final punch in nevertheless. good god. i love this idea, i can't help doing so.

in order for this to work, however, henry's door would need to be unlocked. now, i cannot fathom a situation in which that would be the case, as he's about the most organized and secretive person on earth, but let's just block that out for a moment and assume the two of you had already been all over each other in the doorway and merely forgot to lock the front door in your haze of increasing passion. it happens to the best of us, right? so, by the time bunny will have barged in, you'd be getting your soul and your sanity rammed out of you, naked and coated in a gleamy film of sweat; clothes strewn about as another undeniable factor of your endeavors; the volume of your moans and the tone of his growls so emphasized it would be likewise impossible to deny the nature of your coalescence otherwise. not to mention the fleshy collisions of skin merely accentuated by the occasional spanks henry would land on you. hell, your activity would amount to being so loud that you wouldn't even hear bunny having strode in, all smiles (which would soon fade) and giddy to greet henry for whichever reason he had lodged in mind prior.

the worst part is: he wouldn't even announce his presence, which would excruciatingly leave you to discover him in the room with you on your own, not in any way initiated by the intruding party. henry would angle your hips in a different way and press your head into the bedsheets so that it'd loll to the side, conveniently in the general direction of the bedroom doorway — to notice the unwanted intruder.

you'd shriek, then — this time not out of pleasure — and propel henry to stop with a petrified exclamation of his name. he'd whip around in horror momentarily, and bunny would remain standing there, as though ossified; slack-jawed, wide-eyed, barely breathing. you will never have experienced a drop in libido that fast. the following few moments would be filled with spoken (and screamed) profanity and scrambling to cover yourselves, with henry fumbling about for his glasses so he could stand the hell up and irately shove a motionless bunny out of the room.

you'd both want bunny dead after that. in fact, let's alter the tsh plotline a little: what if henry's motive was enriched by one additional factor, one the rest of the greek class would be unaware about; unless, of course, bunny will have run his mouth about it at the next best time (if there even is a 'best' time for sharing something like that, that is)? this is both comical and alluring to me, i'm thrilled.

[darklinaforever]

It's curious that you don't defend her about being a bad mother and a bad wife...it's something, seeing as you think that everyone in that series owes her something. And it's normal that you don't know Sweetestpoocorn, she writes Rhaenyra having Daemon as her husband from the beginning and having Aegon and Viserys as her first children, a fic only taking the canon as a reference and without contamination of the "good moments" of the couple from the show, clearly something you wouldn't enjoy. And by the way a little exaggerated with the show Rhaenyra, little more and she suffered more than Christ on the cross,during her marriage to Laenor...when she literally had what she wanted,a cover to sleep with whoever she wanted. And comparing the impact that the marriage with Laenor had on Rhaenyra with the one it had on this lady seems like an insult to the canonical Rhaenyra that you say you love, but hey, continue enjoying whatever you like. I'm just saying that when you have problems with everyone, maybe the problem is you, you always want to be right and when they don't give it to you you block people, I guess that's easier than assuming that not everyone is going to agree with you.

Well she literally considered accepting Otto's offer of giving her children hostage and she basically just cheated on Daemon.

I don't particularly call that a good mother or a good wife.

Although show Rhaenyra is far from being the worst person in the world on a technical level.

She is also far from being up to par with her book counterpart in terms of writing, coherence and nuance, especially since we moved into adulthood with Emma D'arcy. Be careful, the acting is very good, but the writing is not there at all unlike the young Rhaenyra played by Milly.

The gratuitous attack on the fanfiction aspect makes me laugh. I literally read fanfiction where Daemyra manages to get married first and have their own children, thus straying from the path of HOTD canon and F&B. So what are you talking about to judge without knowing ?

Again, I like some of Daemyra's things in the show but absolutely not all of it.

The thing that makes me love them is above all the chemistry between the actors more than the scenario itself around them.

And believe me that generally there are no Daemyra scenes from the show that join the book when I think of the Fire and Blood version.

Absolutely not.

If not probably the concept of Twin Flames, because I like to attribute this term to most of my favorite ships and Daemyra F&B or HOTD, fits it quite well for me.

I say it myself that these HOTD characters are downright caricatures of their F&B counterparts. You don't teach me anything. Don't act like I'm defending the writing of this show. Because that was never the case. So what are you trying to do here ?

On the other hand, saying that HOTD is a bad show does not mean that we should demonize everything in it either as if there was absolutely nothing positive or... well true ?

To say that Rhaenyra is a bad friend or a bad daughter and that she didn't suffer from the marriage to Laenor because her only goal was to be able to sleep with whoever she wanted, that's bullshit, I'm sorry. A little objectivity, even on something bad, doesn't kill you.

However, all of this does not prevent me from recognizing that this Rhaenyra has nothing to do with the one in the book like the rest of the characters in HOTD and that that displeases me enormously.

Oh and I assure you, I don't have a problem with everyone, far from it.

And yes... I imagine that with your reasoning, the haters who send me gratuitous hatred full of nonsense are not the real problem but me while we're at it.

On the other hand, I have always said that everyone is free to have their opinion in many positions. No point in you also distorting my words and what I do. I never said that my opinion was truthful and superior.

Also, anon, we're on tumblr, it's common to block people with whom you don't share the same opinion, even for those with whom you've never exchanged words. And when we see that the rare debates we have lead to nothing, yes, we generally end up blocking things too. There's nothing evil or surprising about it. If the block button is there it is ready to be used.

[anonfromtheflight]

Heeeeeey!

Thank you so much for the messages I got wondering if I was alright. I am! I just have the worst luck ever!

But at least I'm in good health? And alive. That's a win too. I'm just convinced more than ever that nothing good will ever happen to me without something horrible happening right after 😓

So I made it back to Santiago from home on Sunday night and all was well. But I got robbed on Monday! After work, rght outside a subway station! And not only the asshole took my cellphone, he punched me in the face to make me drop it!! 😒 I almost never take my phone out in public for security reasons but when my boss called, I answered because I thought I had left something important at work. But when I hung up while I was leaving the subway station, before I could put my phone back in my pocket, a huge dude came to towards me, punched me in the face and then left with my phone! 😩

It wasn't even a nice phone, it was basic af and I had it for three years, but it had my stuff and UGHHHH I had to go to the police and then to the hospital to get my face checked because my cheek swelled right away. At least he avoided my glasses? Oh and I had to block my phone number with the mobile company, my bank account because of the bank app and another banking app i use.

To make things worse, I left my tablet back at my mom's by mistake last weekend so I had no electronic device with my info to block my stuff myself. I had to ask my sister to do it and to post a message on instagram in case my friends got any weird messages and to let people know I wouldn't be available. And that if someone talked to them via whatsapp, it wasn't me.

I didn't think about her doing the same for me here, I didn't think anyone would notice or care oops, sorry for that 😬

AND UUUUGHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THE S3 RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCEMENT!!! At least I can enjoy the theories and gifs now 😑 I also can't believe I missed a WHOLE week of OMR beauty content with Omar looking gorgeous and downright sinful wtf

Now I'm back home because tomorrow I have to go vote, got my tablet back and blocked absolutely everything. At least since I sold my soul to google, I don't have to try to remember my passwords lol and could basically wipe everything from my phone remotely.

But yeah, I'm okay! I'm only sporting an ugly bruise on my face that makes me look like I'm part of the lamest fight club in existence.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for snitching on my brother?

Listen, my 19 brothers (all 200M) and I (200M) don't have the best relationship. After my Dad (over 50000M) and his buddy (3000M) created us in their lab, our mum stole us and passed us off to various adoptive parents on different planets, so we didn't even grow up together. As a consequence, some of us had it easier than others. Me, I had a great adoptive father. He put me through college and encouraged me until I became the actual second best wizard ever. By 18, I was pretty much the philosopher-king of our planet. I even had a relationship with my bio Dad longer than the rest of my brothers did because we found each other through magic and then used it to hang out. (He's the first best wizard. No biggie.)

Anyway, things were going great for me. Eventually, our bio Dad hosted a big family reunion and I got to meet my brothers. I was ready to make friends, but man, some of them were assholes. Well, that was fine. I stayed friends with the brothers I liked. I had a lot on my hands anyway, since Dad had taken the liberty of making 1000 sons for me, and none of them were freaking potty trained.

Did I use magic to potty train them? Yes. Did I maybe get the potty-training magic from a strange voice in my head? Well... Okay, yes, but consider that 1000 sons = a lot of potty training if you take the traditional route. I think it was a reasonable choice at the time.

Anyway, my sons were doing great, and the brothers I got on with and I began to set up this big magical training program so we could all teach our sons to be better and safer wizards. Sounds great, right?

Well, the asshole contingent of my brothers decided to haul us in front of Dad and point their fingers at us. "Wizards are bad and dangerous" they claimed, while one of them stood around surrounded by his own freaking wizards. ("They're not wizards, they're enchanters," my ass.)

I thought our bio Dad would side with us, him being the greatest wizard of all time and his buddy (I swear those two have something going on) being the third greatest after me. But no! He told us we needed to stop doing magic. Literally the one thing I'm good at. The one thing he made me good at. I'm the second best wizard in the galaxy, and he wanted me to sit on my ass.

Well, I tried. I mostly stopped. But come on, those assholes were definitely up to something. I started using my wizardry to surveil my brothers, and oh boy. The shit I found out. At first, I just sat back and ate popcorn, watching them pratfall their way through life. It was funny, what can I say? And I still stuck by the bros who had my back.

But then one of my bros, L, (unfortunately one of the ones I got on with) had the worst thing possible happen to him: He decided he had found God. By which I mean, he decided our bio Dad was literally God.

Seriously, our Dad. Sure, Dad is like 20 feet tall and glows with golden light, but when the glowing giant immortal wizard tells you he's not a god, you believe him. Unless you're L.

Dad's attempts to re educate him were... Misguided. As I said, he's not a god. But he went so hard that L flipped right the other way around and started to believe that our dad wasn't God. He was Satan, apparently.

And so, L went to our other brother H, who had a mad case of "first-child, I carry the whole family" syndrome, and started trying to convince him that our dad was Satan.

I tried to warn H that L was crazy. H just went "Lol okay" and went back to chugging L's koolaid.

H and L were definitely going to do something stupid, like murderously stupid. I needed to warn Dad, and it was urgent. I started calling, but Dad wouldn't pick up.

So I called him the way we used to talk, using magic. And what do you know, he had basically put up some sort of magical barrier which meant I couldn't call him that way either. I was pretty pissed off to see he had blocked me on so many levels.

And this is where I may be the AH.

See, that voice in my head that helped me work out how to potty-train the kids using magic? Yeah, it spoke up again. It suggested I break through the barrier. I figured Dad built it for a good reason, but I *was* strong enough and I was trying to save his life. So I broke in.

And then the voice's magical demons flowed into Dad's lab, ruining the amazing magical teleporter which he and his buddy had been building in secret. Turns out, the voice in my head was an ACTUAL god, the Lord of Change... And Dad had known all along. It was why he told my brothers and I that we had to stop doing magic. But he never thought to actually explain that to ME, so how the hell was I supposed to know I had a god in my head? He told us gods didn't exist!

Anyway, gods are real, but I still maintain that my Dad isn't Satan. He's just a really bad father.

He was understandably furious that I broke his experiment and let demons into his lab, but he yelled at me like he thought I did it on purpose. Plus, H was so mad that I snitched, he actually sent another brother (Mr. "They're not wizards") to burn down my planet. Like hell I was sticking around after that. After one last attempt to reach out to Dad, (which ended with my most gullible brother gaslighting me and then hitting me with a hammer) I went NC with pretty much my whole bio family.

I'm doing okay now. I actually ended up moving in with the Lord of Change for a while because at least he helped me potty train my kids and let me do wizardry in his spare room. Now I have my own planet and a sick wizard tower. It would be great if it weren't so dusty in here.

I still wonder if I was the asshole though. Don't get me wrong, I think the biggest assholes are my Dad, H, L, some other brothers I didn't mention, Mr. "They're not wizards", my oldest son who apparently can't keep the place clean, and a lot of my other sons who just kinda vanished one day. But maybe I could've done something else, like sending Dad a letter or warning my nicer brothers about H and L instead going straight to the top. So. AITA?

[cigaretterivals]

DSMP Rivals and Fighting Game Archetypes

Also relating to the last post because now I have fighting game brainrot, its been a handful of years since I was more interested in a few of them but I've always been a sucker for the character archetypes

You already have plenty of locations that you can choose from for the maps considering the entire dsmp map is your oyster in that regard. Community house, L'manburg, Las Nevadas, Artic Commune, etc etc you get what I mean. Pandora's Vault could definitely be thrown in there as well and whether its inside or outside would be up to how much room exactly you would need but I think main cell could be feasible imo

I'm not the most WELL versed in the actual specific archetypes, also because some characters are either super niche or feel like they could overlap multiple archetypes (and the websites im looking at are bombarding me with ads) so we're gonna take all this in a lighthearted fun way okay? perfect, anyway

c!Dream is either a rushdown archetype OR hes hit & run. I'm more inclined to say rushdown soley for the fact that Dream feels very much like he would come with a moveset that rewards juggling your opponent with long complicated combos. He would probably have a good reset ability, and his character would be the reason the game has a burst mechanic so that you don't get stuck in an endless loop of getting your ass kicked (unless you get baited into that burst which is the worst thing ever esp when you can practically hear the clown music in the background)

However combos can't last forever, and to keep things fair, his heavy hitters would most likely be something that launches his opponents away from him. Dealing stronger damage, but also giving the opponent a chance to regroup away from his onslaught until rushdown characters do what they do best

I'm inclined to say he probably wouldn't have a projectile move, if it worked with his kit he could have one maaaaaaaybe two as a treat, but for the most part his utility comes out of getting up close and personal. Aka he would not be having a fun time against zoning characters

Special move wise I can't think of many specifics right now, but for almost all of the characters they would probably be references just cause I think that's fun. One of them would have to be related to the revive book because how could it not be, and the others could even be references to some of his best manhunt moments if you're in the camp that believes manhunt is canon to the dsmp (which I personally am)

c!Techno is a bit trickier because his fan interpretation really depends on whether or not you picture him as a hybrid with a more human appearance OR if you go full piglin/hoglin. You could also have your "both is good" moment by having him start off with the more human looking hybrid form and have his Piglin form be one of his special abilities. Going with that version though would most likely make Techno an Install archetype (or even Stance? Listen these ones were too complicated for me in case it wasn't obvious yet I played characters that either hit fast or hit hard)

But Stance or Install aside, I'm a bit torn on his actual moveset/ combo ability. Techno often tanks a lot of hits because he makes up for his physical lack of a shield by use of potions to keep him up and running and increasing his damage output (which could fit into the Stance archetype if he had a move that essentially let him power up by giving him a potion ability? Or would that be more like a Charge character?)

Giving him a secendary archetype after Install/Stance he would probably be a Punisher or Reversal or whatever the archetype is called for when he's stuck in a block chain but the second the opponent fucks up and drops that chain he's able to jump on that oppurtunity and absolutely ruin the other persons day. I also like how it feels like it plays well into his "I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over." general vibe. Not a defensive fighting style, but one that does play more into countering an ongoing attack vs being the one immediately on the offensive. While his combos would deal a lot of damage, to balance that out I would say he doesn't have good juggle/reset ability so he eventually needs to back off to recoup and wait for his next moment of oppurtunity.

Special moves again not really sure, like the most my brain can come up with right now is him absolutely chucking a human sized potato into his opponent. Other than that his 3-5 meter special could also be wither related

c!Tubbo is a zoner you can't tell me that little shit is not spamming the HELL out of the stage with bombs and mini nukes and bees and who knows what else tell me I'm wrong.

If I get more fighting game thoughts for any of the other characters I'll probably be back but thats all for now k thanks <3

[anticute-marshmallowmars]

i was super prepared to be really in despair with the ending

but actually?

it kind of makes narrative sense, as is my take with a lot of this show.

are there some characterization/relationship-related decisions that i am not 100% on board? absolutely.

but honestly? outisde of those issues - it's kind of an ending that DOES work, and like? no one died, dude. i was prepared for deaths. (zelda aside :c but even then she just goes to another branch anyway.)

esp with tHIS kind of show? where they DON'T let their charas be happy??? where they don't take care of their charas (and yes - i would say they still don't in some ways. but that's...another post.) like, they always dangle the solution/happiness carrot - only to take it away.

so, like - honestly.

it's overall oddly...positive, actually, in terms of an ending, in terms of the actual circumstances that played out and could play out? it's open-ended enough. and doesn't leave THAT sour of a taste in my mouth as i was prepared for. bc again - it mAKES sense.

there's potential and hope* they'll find their way back to each other.

no way they won't. there's julia and penny. and once eliot gets his footing. (tho my feelings about where they end up in terms of relationships are... meh. bUT newayz.) and kady's figuring out the circumstances amidst the moon madness situation.

and on the other end: alice? margo. and what josh can contribute.

so, yeah. there's enough talent between the two factions to make this happen. no WAY they won't figure it out.

(alice being realized as master magician in her would-be-initiation/graduation, suggests and implies the rest of them also became master magicians, in my mind)

this show never was gonna give our charas a happily ever after, and certainly NOT with them together under one roof. it wouldn't have FELT right in any case. it'd be too perfect of an ending, and this show? does not do perfect endings. and i do not expect it. it wouldn't have been in the spirit of the show. and this ending - DOES maintain that spirit. even if - again - i do have my personal conniptions.

this show, time and time again, separates the group, into factions. it makes sense they would end the show with them separated, for them to figure out a way to get back to each other again.

(do i want my polycule and somehow q revived - absolutely!!!!! but that's not what the show was ever going to give, tonally. right from s1.)

it's hard to give a satisfying ending in any show. and i wouldn't say this was satisfying bc again, there's things i'm not too happy about. but narratively it MAKES SENSE.

and i will say: in any given show - and specifically any fantasy show - the ending SHOULD be open ended enough, so that you believe that world and those charas continue on even after the finale. you don't get to see it, but you know it happens.

and that's really what we get at the end, actually!

it's an ending that does work, tonally, thematically, and again - narratively. is it the best? no. is it the worst? really, really, no. ESPECIALLY given how media has been effing up finales in the last few years.

(and i say this, as someone who LOVES eliot and margo. they were pretty much what i was leaning hard to survive, as i went through s5 in terms of invested relationships/friendships. but i GET why they separated them. that's a separate post.)

and as writers should - you SHOULD give the building blocks for your audience as a gift - a hope of 'hey this world continues even after the creator is done with it.'

i want to see it, of course. but at least they gave that kind of ending rather than completely butcher everything. i'm secure enough to believe that it DOES happen, mainly bc these charas are dogged as shit. and again. there's hope*

*HQ and hope and the themes of home literally embodied in a pregnancy plotline with julia (which i have conflicted feelings about). and of course, the world seed arc. i just wish they had done it a little better? but there's lots i would have liked to be executed properly**

**obviously no quentin is heartbreaking. and what could have been the would-be queliot situation. but arguably quentin WAS going to be that type of hero at the end of the day. that's a separate post too.

there's just SO MANY THOUGHTS.

[kurottsukii]

Two | 0.0.2

So far, my night took a turn for the worst. Instead of taking me out to eat like she was complaining about before-hand, my dearest best friend has dragged me into a night club that smelled like desperation, cheap perfume and sex. Not to mention the intense smell of AXE body spray that some poor bum was wearing to attract the ladies, it was definitely doing the opposite because I swear it burned the remaining of my nose hairs.

Eva didn't seem to mind since she ran and sat next to the walking girl replent to order drinks. I for one hand, refused to have my nostrils assulted again so instead I stood by the door with my hands stuffed deep into my hoodie's pockets as I just watch Eva from afar. Gotta make sure no dirt bag tried to do anything stupid.

No I'm not trying to be a cock block, I'm just worried about her you know? It only takes one look for men to want to hit that. I mean who wouldn't? She had beautiful coca butter skin, long black curls, breast bigger than mine, green rain forest eyes and a fat ass. She was the perfect girl for any dude but too bad she was a lesbian. Good for me because...I'm fruity too, well, half fruity..I'm bisexual, but still bad for them.

Eva was wearing a red dress that hugged her body perfectly and stopped above the knees, meanwhile I was still wearing what I had on back at the event, I was under the impression that we was going out for take out so I didn't change, now I wished I did as soon as I saw her slip on that dress. I knew it was too good to be true, Eva never overdressed for take out.

I looked over to see Eva making her way towards me with two glasses of what I assumed to be rum mix with tequila and cranberry juice, which was my favorite.

My smile widen as I took the glass out of her hand and went to sit down, she followed behind and sat beside me, downing her drink first.

"I'm thinking about quitting UFC and MMA.." I blurted out, I don't know why but it just spilled out my mouth, just like how Eva's drink "spilled" out her mouth as she stared at me with a confused look on her face. "You. WHAT?!"

"I'm thinking about quitting UFC and MMA to join WWE." I repeated in a hush tone, my eyes now on my glass that was still untouched. I was still unsure of my decision and rather or not if I was making the right choice. I mean this could put my name on the mat, yeah MMA and UFC are big companies but there's so much they could do. With WWE, there is no limit, the show cases are big, the numbers are big, the payment is big. I mean their whole roaster has over a million followers on Instagram while I'm sitting on six hundred thousand followers right now, I could be big.

By the time I looked up to see her reaction, it changed from confusion to dead serious. "Are you going to give up your titles and carry your five year winning streak to wwe or let someone break your streak like Ronda's."

Me? Loosing my titles that I worked YEARS for? "Bitch please, I'll be damned if I leave the company as a loser. I'ma just give up my titles and make an announcement tomorrow in the ring like a true fighter." She then, nodded at my response but I could tell that she didn't believe me, nor liked my decision.

"I already told Vince that before I signed the contract I have a few requests." She nodded again, resting her chin in her palms. "What kind of request though?"

"One, I want to do my own promos, everyone knows how good I am on the mic and the fans love it when I speak from the heart and talk shit. Two, I want to fight both the superstars and divas, because that's what I'm good at and I wanna continue it. Three, I don't want my character to change, I don't want to change. Not even if its for a big storyline, I'm a crazy, ruthless bitch and I want to stay that way. And if I have to dress like a diva, I want my attire to be similar to my aunt but a bit different. I don't think that's too much, I don't want a bigger pay or to get all the TV time. But if I'm going to be in the company I want to do it my way, all the other things...I'll be happy to follow. Oh! And the last thing is if I cut a promo with someone I wanna be surprised and it have to be brutal. Remember that one girl that talked shit about my mom being in a mental hospital? That shit was so fucked up but eh. I beat her ass and won the championship."

"Yeah I remember, the girl left with her nose to the side of her face. Honestly, all that sounds great and reasonable but who says vince will agree to that? And if he does, who says it'll stay that way? He wants you because you're the hottest thing in sports entertainment right now, I may be a dancer but I ain't stupid. He sees you as a money bag. Like your aunt, he'll just milk you dry."

As much as I wanted her to be wrong. She was right and she knew I know she's right. I saw what that man did to my family, why would I want to go into that. And not even go in blindly, its like I'm walking into a trap willingly, but what else can I do? My career is great so far, but wwe can make it better. I can be better.

As bad as I wanted to argue or just try to get her to see my point, it wouldn't matter. No matter what she says or would say, I made my decision and she knows that. So instead of talking back, I drank. I just drank and let my eyes wonder out to the dance floor full of worry free drunks. I'm not really the social or dancer type but it is always fun to be in a club. The drinks were good, the people were cute, the music is always just right. And you were always guaranteed to take someone home with you, and staying on the subject; Eva was practically eye fucking this girl across from us. Already I knew I was going to be alone for the night, so why not drink my worries away and dance till I can't anymore.

After downing a few drinks, I hit the floor. You know the feeling of having the vibrations under your feet or against your finger tips? That's what I was feeling, the dj was currently playing Crazy In Love by Beyonce and I swear if it wasn't the alcohol in my system, it was the vibrations from the beat that was making me dance.

Now I know I look like shit right now but I was dancing like I'm the baddest bitch in the club, with a couple of hair flips, and swaying of my hips, I could already feel someone pressed up against me. Their hands firmly on my hips, their movement following mine. Normally I would moved from this stranger's grip, and trust me I was about to but the music chance convinced me to stay. And as soon as No Hands started playing, I was already throwing back on whoever was behind me.

Now I have a fat ass but not Nicki fat but best believe I was doing my thing and the guy behind me would agreed because I swear I just felt his mini him against my ass.

This continued for hours, by this time Eva was already gone and I was shit faced, grinding up against a guy I didn't know but he was sure damn cute. I'm not really into blondes but he was an exception, he had the most sexiest deep blue ocean eyes, the right amount of facial hair and the kind of smile to make a girl weak to her knees which was me because everytime he flashed that pretty boy smile, I had to fight the urge to not suck on those lips.

He just felt so right at the moment, it was probably the alcohol talking but, this is the guy I'm taking home tonight.

__________

By the time I woke up, it read six thirty a.m. on my phone which was the only light source at the moment, it was surprisingly still dark, it was either that or these hotel blinds were really good at blocking out the light. Either way it was pitch black and really fucking early. I shouldn't even be awake right now, the event was in the evening and I usually wake up at 12 in the afternoon but the sudden movement beside me spooked me awake.

There beside me, was the most beautiful guy that I sadly don't even remember. Actually, I don't even remember shit from last night but it wasn't rocket science to know that we had sex. Even though I don't remember it, I really hoped it was good. I mean by how cute he was, it better have been.

What am I even saying? There is a guy in my bed that I don't remember and I'm over here worrying about if the sex was good? God what is wrong with you Yovanna? This isn't you, well, me. This isn't me, I don't even drink like that, let alone sleep with a guy I just meant. Even if he looked so damn cute while sleeping and...even if his warmth around me felt comforting, and how he feels so great right now....not to mention how good he sme-

God fuckin dammit, what is wrong with me!?

Luckily the sound of my phone vibrating broke whatever kind of spell I was in, it was a notification from twitter. Apparently I've been mentioned in a tweet. Usually I would just heart these and ignore them because usually they were fans but this time was different. It was an wwe superstar, now I wasn't aware the wrestlers there knew I was coming, I mean I barely even let told Vince my decision yet.

@RandyOrtanWWE

I wanted to be the first to greet the new comer on the behalf of wwe and the authority. @YovannaUFC welcome princess, glad to see vince add more dick sucking, wannabe divas into the business, we are really running out of those here. As much as you think you're the best in sports entertainment, think again love. You're in the vipar's territory now.

What. The. Absolute. Fuck?

[nirikeehan]

Good morning!! 🪹 and ⚡️ for the weather asks?

Thank you for these!!

Question list here

🪹 Drought - What do you do to help with Writer's Block?

(idk why the emoji isn't showing up on my desktop 🤷‍♀️ hope that's not the case for others)

After many, many years of writing, I have come to the conclusion "writer's block" is a deceptive name for "burn out." I have never once been "blocked" when excited by a new idea, or have the time and the mental energy to dedicate to a project. I have been blocked when stressed out and overworked, or coming off of having to bang out a ton of papers at the end of a semester, or because I've been staring at the same WIP every day for the last five years.

The worst writing advice I got in school, the one they will try to hammer into you over and over, is that you should be writing every day of your life. Not only is this advice false, it is dangerous. I firmly believe aside from eating, drinking, sleeping and maybe bathing, there is literally nothing you need to be doing every day until you die. (I mean, I guess parenting maybe, but eventually kids will be old enough to take care of themselves for a day or two.)

I got into this horrible shame spiral if I did not write every single day, regardless of how many jobs I was working, or how much stress or anxiety I had going on in my life, I was a horrible failure as a writer and I'd never amount to anything and blah blah blah. And it's just... too much. It's too fucking much.

So if I'm well and truly blocked, and the words just aren't coming, I rest. I do something else. Maybe I write something else. This is why I have ended up with a ton of WIPs lol - I realized I will write far more if I have several projects I can juggle than if I have The One Project That Must Be Finished or Else... or else what? Nothing, that's what. You're just making yourself feel guilty for no reason. Especially if you are writing for a hobby, nothing you're writing ever needs to be finished. If you're just practicing and noodling around with ideas, that's okay! Who cares? You can finish it when you feel like it! You're not on the clock! There's no algorithm you need to feed to get paid! Removing a capitalist mindset from writing (assuming you aren't immediately being paid to write the thing) helped my actual writing IMMENSELY.

⚡️Lightning - Have you ever spontaneously added something to your story that you wouldn't have added normally? If so, what made you do it?

Oh God NGL that's like 90% of the things I write. I'm really into "what if" ideas. I chase those plots like mad. I have one that hit me this morning while half asleep and I might write it today instead of finishing this nightmare au chapter. Maybe I'll do both if I have time, IDK.

Even if I have things vaguely planned most of the time I am just writing scenes to see what happens. So if something comes up organically I am far more likely to say "huh, okay, let's see how I can incorporate this into the story" than I am to say, nuh uh, get out. I think stories are better for this sort of innovation. I know everyone is in a moral panic about AI lately, but I truly believe stuff like this is what will always separate human creativity from machines. The AI is doing predictive text, trying to guess things based on stuff that's already been done a million times. If you get a weird flash of inspiration but you think it's out of "the norm" – I tend to find that's the real visionary stuff that comes out of writing. I'm not into leaning into the bland, formulaic options. That will just convince the corporate overlords there IS no difference between human creativity and AI.

[mareenavee]

35%. How does your character look and feel when crying?

I should charge this thing.

LOL Well in this case, glad your phone or laptop (?) was almost dead. This is a good question, mostly because Nyenna does tend to have a good cry more often than she'd like to admit. Under all that stress, who wouldn't?

Battery asks for Nyenna in my fic, The World on Our Shoulders!

Ask game is here.

35%. How does your character look and feel when crying?

I can't visualize anything very well so I'm not exactly sure how she would look when she's crying? I suppose she'd not really be an ugly crier. (I hc that ugly crying is probably more of a human thing, but I'm not sure why exactly lol. This is just my madness I suppose.)

But feeling? Mostly it's fear, guilt, and stress that causes these episodes, I'd say. I'll share a snippet of Chapter 13, which is already published.

The sheer terror of her memories shocked through her and she let out a pathetic whimper. It had all been a show, her rage. It was a cover up for the worst pain anyone could imagine. It was all just thinly veiled fear. She cried there in the street, all these memories crashing around in her skull. Someone threw an arm around her as she panicked, and she thrashed, eyes still closed, sobs still stealing her breath.

“Nyenna, it’s okay, it’s me. It’s Athis! I’m here. I’ve got you. I’ve got you now.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she wailed, hands still clutching her head and hair. “I can’t do this.”

He sat down in the dirt beside her and held her as tightly as he could. He stayed quiet, letting the terror pass as she cried out and yelled, unable at first to shake the images that plagued her mind. He stroked her hair and leaned her against his chest until the last of her tears finally stopped falling. The well wasn’t endless. She’d still cry if there had been any tears left. Her breath came ragged as she tried to regain composure. She was just so tired. So scared. It had been a long time since those scenes had overtaken her in the light of day. They had been relegated to nightmares for so long now, she had been used to forgetting the panic, but never the fear. It was always there in her blood, in her bones, like poison. And Gods, how she missed Eris, even now. He always knew how to turn around situations like this. They were evenly matched, he and the Thalmor that pursued them, until one day he’d miscalculated. She wondered if he’d still be alive if she hadn’t slowed him down. She let out another shuddering sigh.

Athis’s red hair tumbled down over her face as he bent down to kiss her cheek. He was warm, and her whole body felt numb. She sniffed and looked up at him. He had run after her again, despite the obvious danger. Delphine had tried to say that the Thalmor didn’t know her face yet, but it wasn’t true. Had never been. It was only a matter of time until they found her again. And still he followed. Would he block their swords from reaching her like Eris had? Would he be the next to crumple to the ground, light leaving his eyes? Leaving her behind to do this all alone? She wiped away the leftover tears from her face. She wrapped her arms around him. Gods knew how long either of them had left.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered once more. “I didn’t mean to push you away back there.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me for being terrified,” Athis said. He kept stroking her hair. He let out a low sigh. “I saw it through your anger. Instantly. I know what it was because both of us have been through horrors hardly anyone can understand.”

 “I can’t believe she would have the gall,” Nyenna said, her half-thoughts coming out disjointedly. “Both of us dragging ourselves into Skyrim away from our demons.” Athis just held her tighter, like she would float away if he let go. She wasn’t sure she wouldn’t. She heard him grinding his teeth, wrestling with his own memories.

“Let’s just go home,” he finally said. “We can regroup after we’ve slept off these nightmares.”

They walked hand in hand on the road back to Whiterun. It should have been a cold day. Athis had said as much, but she’d not felt much of a difference all winter. Her face still felt warm from her outburst earlier.

[lndslorepuzzler]

Under Deepspace 04: Under Twilight, pt 1-10

01: Family: FMC heads home to visit with her Grandmother and Caleb; they discuss Josephine's migraines, and how Caleb has got a reputable long-care ward all set up so she can be taken care of. Josephine mentions that she should have lunch with Li Shen, and Caleb says that even the worlds busiest man has to eat sometime, and that her number one priority should be keeping herself safe. FMC heads outside to check a Metaflux blip, and Caleb follows her.

.

02: Interlude: FMC and Caleb banter about him being overly cautious. He goes to the store, and she walks around the block, not seeing anything suspicious until she realizes the source of the fluctuation is moving. It appears to be a suspicious man wearing a cap; she gives chase, but feels an intense pain in her right arm, like being stabbed. The man gets away, but Caleb catches up to her, and points out her injury, and wants to go after the cause of it.

.

03: Within Reach: Caleb is visibly agitated that FMC is trying to hide the situation from him ("Can't you trust me now that we're all grown-up?") FMC says she has to rely on herself, and that Caleb can't protect her forever. He's frustrated ("Why is that a problem? If not me, who could you possibly turn to for... () You wouldn't get it even if I told you, pip-squeak. Forget it.") They head back to the house, FMC says he can go by himself, he tells her to hide the blood on her sleeve before she comes inside. After Caleb goes inside and closes the door, there is an explosion. When she comes to, FMC has been blown back, and the house is on fire. On the pavement is a necklace with an engraved dogtag: When U Come Back.

.

04: A Real Nightmare: The explosion has been determined to be an accident caused by Metaflux fluctuations. The news states that Metaflux-related explosions have wounded 35 people and killed 2. Tara comes in and finds FMC in the office; she has been performing several missions and Metaflux-related investigations. She refuses to believe it was an accident. When trying to stand up to speak to Jenna, FMC gets dizzy and unstable. Greyson calls to remind her that she has a medical appointment that day. Jenna tells her to take care of her health first; FMC notes that Li Shen will be worried if she doesn't go.

.

05: Waiting: Upon arriving at the hospital, FMC goes to meet Li Shen, but he's heading to surgery. He's been working overtime due to the increase in Wanderer attacks. She decides to wait in the hallway for him to get back.

.

06: Saying Goodbye: FMC has a dream/memory of the day Caleb left for the Aerospace Academy. Caleb uses his Evol (Telekinesis?) to snatch his goodbye-gift, before asking FMC to put it on him. It's all very sweet.

.

07: Frozen Greetings: FMC comes to in Li Shen's office. He apparently had to carry her in after 3 attempts to wake her. He chides her about not taking care of herself.

.

08: Return to Sender: Li Shen tells FMC that he regrets discharging her from the hospital early, and gives her a fingerprint-locked box her grandmother left with him. He tells her to go home and rest, that he will see her off himself, though she needs to wait outside; but a protofield forms in the middle of the room, and combat is initiated.

.

09: COMBAT

.

10: Secret: FMC realizes there's something wrong with Li Shen's right hand and arm, that it's covered in frost and ice.*1 He backs away from her when she tries to help, and tells her to keep her distance. Once he has the situation under control, he gives her the box, and once she starts to leave, he gives some advice about grief. Once she's gone, Li Shen recalls conversation with Josephine: she has refused further treatment, and asks Li Shen if he remembers that he promised to take care of FMC is the worst-case scenario happens, and that by helping her, he helps himself. Coming back to the present, Li Shen thinks 'It shouldn't have come to this.'

.

.

*1, Important to note that Li Shen's right arm is effectively dead at his side from the moment they get out of the protofield to the moment when he returns from the flashback. And it still doesn't appear to have full range of movement even then.

[themanwhomadeamonster]

Warframe: 7, 8, 9, 10

TF2: 6

thank u for letting me be an annoying cunt 😌

WARFRAME ASKS

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

the closest i can say is wisp. i technically don't hate wisp, i love her both as a warframe to play as well as aesthetically but also she is so obviously tryhard sexybait, and with the amount of porn i've seen it just goes around to becoming a complete turnoff. i automatically hate any porn fanart of wisp but i love love love fanart of wisp that shows off her beauty in other ways. u can show erotic beauty without being straight up pornographic

i do recognise the hypocrisy in this with the shit i've drawn of other warframes but i like to think it's just me balancing everything out

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

again, not everyone but a BIG FUCKING CHUNK of the fandom: margulis isn't a bad choice and is just as much of an identity of "her" as the other facets of her identity (though i am aware of how many ppl chose margulis solely bc boobs and face, rip). they're parts of a whole, just that post-new war she has to prioritise different values. i'm someone who very much appreciates compassionate characters and i think the margulis identity encapsulates that very well and in some cases would be helpful especially for the drifter/operator. but i personally believed that natah was a clean slate for "her" to start over, and that post-new war needed a driving force to protect in the grand scheme of things - compassion wouldn't be enough

somehow it's only lotus-pickers who seem to have a superiority complex over this - i've never seen a natah or margulis picker who had beef over what other ppl chose 🙃

9. worst part of canon

all of the early quests especially alad v's questline have bloody awful storytelling. alad v's quests are a complete mess and even i still don't know the proper order of what happened to him (i'm pretty sure i did all his quests save for the amalgam arc in reverse). almost all of the early quests are based on retired events/operations and new players aren't even given background summaries explaining them. vor's prize as a tutorial and story quest is HORRIBLE. so much pre-sacrifice stuff has been retconned, even lore from tsd/coh/tww

10. worst part of fanon

any ppl who thought natah/lotus deserved to die for 'betraying' the operator and were even hoping we'd have the option to kill her LMFAOOOOO y'all stupid to think they'd include that

runner up contender: THAT artist who made not-explicit-but-is-most-definitely-horny fanart of nef anyo cannibalising solaris united workers

TF2 ASKS

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

scout/sniper - i fucking hate that ship i see it everywhere and is the only tf2 ship tag i have blocked on tumblr. most basic bitch shit ever

heavy/medic - i love this ship with all my heart but its shippers need to calm the fuck down bc they think this ship is canon just bc the voice actors ship it as well. at best it's heavily implied in game but is ultimately still not canon, and shippers get so mad when you tell them that. very a much a "stop making the rest of us look bad" moment

ask game here!

[spectrumscribe]

I hear static, I hear you.

An AU, set directly after The Power Inside Her. Canon divergence from the ending of the episode. AO3 link.

———————————————————-

Part Nine. (Master Post)

Raph curled his hands around the mug Leo had given him, the warmth of the ceramic seeping into his scales.

It didn’t do anything to ease the ice in his chest.

He made no move to drink the tea, instead focusing on not winding himself up again.

Getting angry wouldn’t help them. Blowing up wouldn’t help them. Doing anything at all to relieve the pent up emotions he had wouldn’t help them.

But.

She was right there, right there.

And he couldn’t do anything about it.

What exactly he’d do about it, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he wanted her gone.

They needed her though, even more obviously now.

Raph slid his eyes from his steaming cup, to the hunched figure sat as far opposite of him as she’d been able to manage.

April wasn’t looking up, and all Raph could see was the top of her head.

She looked a lot different without her hair. He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Raph’s eyes drifted over to Leo, who’d finally finished handing out tea and sat down. Everyone was seated again, even if they’d all spread out from one another.

Raph saw that his father was holding a heat-bag to his hand still, the small microwavable beanbag being used to warm up his chilled limb. It was the one that had touched Donnie.

Raph hadn’t been able to even move when Donnie had appeared, and before he’d been able to shake off the shock, his brother had started screaming, and-

It got fuzzy from there. Painful, too.

“So… what now?” Leo asked, breaking the tense silence they’d all fallen into. “Any ideas? Sensei?”

“I… I do not know,” Splinter said in a hushed voice, eyes on his cradled hand. “We have done our part.”

‘Now its April’s turn’ was left unsaid, but heard anyways.

Raph tightened his grip around his mug.

He didn’t want to rely on April. Not after what she’d done.

According to his elder brother and father though… she might be the one chance they had of fixing things.

Raph turned his eyes onto April, who was finally looking up again. She looked pale and washed out, and what little was left of her bangs hung limp. Over all, with her thick hoodie and visible weight loss, she looked like a wreck. The redness of her eyes only enforced the image.

“We just gonna brush what happened under the rug?”

Raph blinked, and glanced away from April. Casey. He’d almost forgotten his friend was there, honestly. So much had just happened, and Casey had been unusually quiet...

Casey was scowling, and he set his now empty mug onto the floor, hunching over his knees and looking at them all. “That was some freaky stuff right there, you can’t tell me we ain’t gonna talk about it. What the hell even was that? It was totally out of character for Dee to pull somethin’ like that. He do that to any of you guys?”

Raph shook his head, noting that Leo, Mikey, and April did as well. “He just stood there when he visited me.”

“Same here,” Leo agreed, and an echo of the same from Mikey.

“He… he did speak with me, when I met him,” Splinter said, glancing up from his hand. “But the screaming… no, this was very different from my experience.”

“So we got one outlier here, and not a lot of reason why,” Raph summarized.

“It seems so,” Splinter said, nodding his head.

What was different about it? Easy. They were all together. Question was why that affected things.

“Any ideas, everyone?” Leo asked again, glancing around at them all. “I’m sort of stumped here why this time was different. I mean, I know it’s different because we’re all in one place this time, but why is it different?”

“We overwhelmed him,” April said quietly.

Those three words sent another rush of silence through them all, and Raph stared at April, along with everyone else gathered.

“We…” April’s eyes went distant, and she gripped her mug tighter. “Our combined presence messed up his control. That wasn’t really Donnie. Or it was, but also not?”

Something felt like it was stuck in Raph’s throat. He wasn’t sure what to say to that.

It wasn’t actually Donnie?

Splinter leaned forwards, turning his head towards April’s corner. “April, what do you mean by that?”

April blinked, and came back to the present. “Um… it’s a bit hard to explain. He’s… he’s scattered right now, and not quite all there. What we just met was… well… it was just pieces of him. Held together by his willpower. At the moment… he’s not much more than emotions and memories. Mostly emotions. Fear, anger, grief…”

April blinked again, and scrubbed at her eyes. She continued, “He uses his connection to us to strengthen those, so he can… think properly again? I think?” She shook her head, muttering, “To be himself. Be more of himself.”

“April? You’re not making any sense,” Leo said slowly, cautious of April’s scattered words.

April grimaced, and shook her head again. “I’m sorry. It’s a huge jumble right now. Basically, um… he- he used us to anchor himself here, and we overwhelmed him. Unbalanced him. He couldn’t keep everything under control, and we… I pushed him over the edge. And he lost it.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Raph said, frowning hard. The way April seemed so out of it, it was making him nervous. The last time she’d been out of it, head swimming with power…

It hadn’t gone well.

“How do you know all that?” Leo asked in a strained voice. “All he did was… all he did was scream. I didn’t hear anything even close to words.”

“I… I heard him. In my head. It was like…” April’s eyes went distant again, and a hand drifted up to her temple. She looked pained. “It was like he was saying everything he wanted to say, all at once. It was… it hurt. It hurt a lot. I couldn’t- I couldn’t think anymore, there was so much. It wasn’t even just thought, there were emotions and memories and just- everything. He tried to tell me everything and I couldn’t-” April bit off, hand shaking as she lowered it. “…I couldn’t take it. I had to make him stop. So I… I made him leave. Again.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered, lowering her head again. “I couldn’t handle it. I tried, but it… I just couldn’t. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I heard him too.”

Raph flicked his eyes over to Mikey, who’d spoken up for the first time. Mikey was curled on himself, knees to his chest. His mask was off, and Raph could see the dark circles that’d grown around his eyes the past weeks.

“I heard him too,” Mikey repeated, now that everyone was looking at him. “In my head. Sorta.”

Raph stared at his brother. He didn’t check, but he felt like everyone else was as well.

“…what did he say?” Raph asked, since no one else would speak.

“He’s… he’s in a lot of pain. That’s basically all I got,” Mikey replied, shrugging. “He didn’t give me anything else. April, he tell you anything about that? The pain?”

The way Mikey was looking at April… Raph hadn’t seen his brother look at someone like that before. It seemed still carefully masked, but… pointed. Sharp. He wasn’t saying it, but Raph could imagine the meaning behind Mikey’s choice of words.

The pain you caused him.

“Yes. Yes he did,” April replied softly, guilt in her voice. “It’s still happening to him right now. What Za-naron and- and I did. Basically… it’s pulling him apart still. I thought it’d k-killed him, but Donnie… Donnie said it just separated him. He’s not alive anymore, but he still is? I’m sorry. It’s… it’s a mess. I lost a huge chunk of the information when I forced him out.”

“How did he do that anyways?” Casey asked. He glanced between April and Mikey. “The- the connecting thingy? You’re a psychic and shit, April, but Mikey ain’t. Right?”

Mikey shrugged. “Dunno. Just happened without me sayin’ so.”

“It’s not because of Mikey specifically, it’s more… Donnie was the one reaching out, and Mikey was just compatible enough for it?” April explained, seeming a bit confused herself. “I heard everything, mostly, and Mikey only got the most powerful bit. It probably has to do with how Donnie’s keeping himself intact.”

“You mentioned he was anchoring himself here, through us,” Splinter said, and Raph heard a hint of life coming back into his voice. “How so is he doing this, and perhaps it relates to Michelangelo’s ‘hearing’ of him?”

April pursed her lips, and her shoulders slumped a bit. “He’s using us. Mostly his brothers. It’s like… since he’s close to nothing but emotions right now, he’s using ours to hold himself on this plane of existence. Memories too. It’s… it’s a little vampiric, honestly, but without anything being drained from the boys. It actually drains Donnie, instead.”

Well that wasn’t unsettling as fuck or anything.

“That’s part of why he overloaded, actually,” April continued. “Too much emotion, not enough power to stabilize it. He was more himself than he’d had each of individually to connect with, but he… just didn’t have enough energy to process everything. Not enough ambient energy versus too much ambient emotion.”

That was even more unsettling. Great. Raph rubbed his temples, and then stopped because April was too. “Can we please back track to the whole ‘Mikey is compatible’ thing? Little more explanation would be nice. Mikey?”

“Man, I don’t know,” Mikey said, scratching the back of his head. “I mean- I just listened to him? Was listening to him? Something like that.”

Force of habit, or maybe just grasping for something normal in all this crazy, made Raph blurt- “You never listen to anyone, though.” -without much thought.

Immediately, he regretted it.

Mikey’s face closed off, and his confused frown slid into something harsher. “I listen when people actually tell me stuff.”

His pointed look at their father and older brother wasn’t missed, and Raph saw Leo wince.

“Mikey, we’re sorry, but…” Leo’s expression wavered between apology and something like his leader face, the one that gave orders and didn’t have time for dissension. “We weren’t sure if you two would listen long enough for us to explain, or even understand what we were aiming for. We didn’t know how you’d react.”

Raph bristled, hands gripping into fists, but before he could snap something hurt and angry-

-Mikey beat him to it.

“That doesn’t- that doesn’t mean you just cut us out of the loop!” Mikey exclaimed. Uncharacteristic anger slipped into his expression, even more obvious with Mikey’s bare face. “We have just as much right to know what you’re planning to do, this is our home too!”

“We didn’t have much time, and- and I wasn’t even sure how to explain it to you-”

“You could’ve at least tried!”

“You never listen anyways-”

“I listen! I’m always listening! You just never explain things how I can understand them-”

“We didn’t have time. Donnie could have reappeared before we figured out how to tell you-”

“That is enough,” Splinter interjected. “What’s done is done, and we will learn from our mistakes.”

Mikey looked rapidly between their father and brother, rising indignation and hurt clear in his eyes. “You- you’re just going to move on? No! No!! That’s not- that’s not fair!”

“We need to move forwards with the conversation, my son-”

“You didn’t even say sorry properly!”

“Mikey, seriously, I know you’re upset but I already told you-”

“Donnie would’ve at least tried!”

Mikey’s furious words sent a shock of silence through everyone, and even Raph’s own anger was quieted.

Mikey stared at them all, more pointedly at their family’s leaders. He blinked rapidly, and his expression twisted further into a glare. “He would’ve at least tried to tell us what was going on! Even if I didn’t get it half the time, at least he actually tried. You guys didn’t even bother!”

A long beat of silence, stifling with tension.

Eventually, a soft “Dude…” from Casey broke the spell of quiet, and Mikey’s glare slipped away.

“I’m sorry,” He said, voice tight. “I’m sorry, but you just- you guys always do this, and I’m tired of it and- it’s not fair. He’s my brother too, okay? Don’t just… cut me out like that.”

Mikey’s gaze dropped from them all, and he lowered his head onto his knees.

Raph’s stun wore off, and he felt awful. How long had Mikey been bottling that up? All that frustration and anger? Shit. And Raph hadn’t even noticed.

None of them checked up on one another anymore. Not since…

They weren’t right without Donnie. Everything fell out of whack without him around. Including their ability to give a shit about each other’s emotional stability, it seemed.

Shit.

“Michelangelo… I am sorry,” Splinter said remorsefully. Mikey’s shoulders hunched a bit more around his knees in response, and Splinter let out a quiet sigh. “We did not mean to hurt you, or Raphael. It was a grave error in our judgement.”

Story of their lives it looked like. Errors in judgement everywhere. Raph started this particular mess, he wasn’t excluded from that.

Mikey didn’t answer Splinter, other than a shrug of his shoulders.

Raph took a turn, since his comment had started the whole fight. “Mike, I’m sorry for what I said. I was just… I don’t know, kidding around. It was a reflex. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

Mikey lifted his head enough to glance at Raph, and then looked away again. Well, guess that was as close to an acceptance of apology they were going to get right now.

Leo was the one who started moving them past the awkward post-fight tension. “Let’s go around and compare experiences, maybe we can figure out why Mikey’s connection has been so much stronger?”

Solid enough plan. Not exactly productive, but it was something. They were flying mostly aimless right now anyways.

It was the same general experience, all around their loose circle. Everyone had felt like someone was watching them, or following them or something like that, and then came the fear and the choking presence and the overall feeling of terror…

Leo and Casey both confessed that their experiences had been more than a little scary. Kind of dangerous feeling too. Raph could relate, what with the exploding video consoles all around him during his turn.

The evidence in the dojo spoke for itself how Splinter’s visit had gone, and April explained that she’d ended up collapsing during hers, even just for a moment.

Other than Donnie speaking to April and Splinter, sort of at least, the experiences all matched up on multiple levels. Donnie appearing, acting like a typical horror movie character, and then vanishing again. All of them were like that, except-

“I didn’t feel any of that,” Mikey said, when they’d gone full circle and come back to him. He seemed mostly recovered from… whatever you’d call their fight. He was mostly back to his usual self, or maybe was just good enough to pretend he was. “Like, this last one? Sure, but that’s ‘cause we were all together, right? First time it was just… him standing there. Didn’t even look at me. I dunno what you all did, but I barely even got the heebie-jeebies from my visit.”

Leo furrowed his brow, tapping one finger on his knee pad while he thought. “Maybe that’s because he just wasn’t strong enough yet? That was a while ago, and he’s gotten a lot more powerful since then. That still doesn’t explain why Mikey could hear him though-”

“Wait,” April interrupted, holding up her hand at Leo. “Wait, let me hear Mikey describe his experience again. Mikey, if you wouldn’t mind..?”

“Uh, sure? It was just me in the lab, and I was starting to clean up some stuff, when I thought I felt somethin’ off and turned around to check it out, and then Donnie was suddenly there and I ran right towards him-”

“You didn’t hesitate? At all?” April questioned, interrupting again.

Mikey blinked. “No? I mean, it was a big shock, but I didn’t think much on it. Just kind of went with it, ‘cause you know… don’t look a gift horse in the mouth or something.”

April closed her eyes, and her lips formed a thin line. “Of course. Of course. I know why Mikey has such a strong connection to Donnie, and why Donnie’s first appearance was so different from all the others.”

Raph crossed his arms. He wasn’t seeing the point here. “Mind tellin’ us why that is?”

“He wasn’t afraid,” April said, opening her eyes again. She seemed more like her old self, more alive again, but also… deeply sad. “Mikey wasn’t afraid. That’s the difference- I can’t believe we missed that, he wasn’t afraid.”

“Uh, why does that matter?” Casey spoke up.

“Because- Mikey didn’t create a feedback loop. Donnie was too weak to stick around, but he also didn’t get scattered or- or mixed up because of extra emotion or anything and-” April cut herself off, and laughed shakily. “We’ve been the ones doing it, making every visit so scary. Not Donnie. He uses our emotions to anchor himself, not his own, and if we’re giving him nothing but fear to feed on- what do you think is going to happen? It’ll just drag all of his fear to surface, and create on big feedback loop of sheer terror. He’s been acting the way he has because of us.”

Raph’s throat felt tight as he digested that information.

When Donnie had appeared, or started to try and appear, what had been Raph’s first reaction? Fear. Suspicion. Eventually it’d been desperation to get to his brother, but not before Raph had felt real and full terror run through him.

Shit. Shit. They’d just been building things up for one another too. Every time someone had a visit from Donnie, they’d expected the worst and gotten the worst. By the time they’d all collected together, with emotions and tempers running high- Raph definitely not an exception- they’d all been complete snarls of fear and anxiety.

Raph slowly grasped his knees, as the full gravity of what they’d been putting Donnie through settled in him. The way Donnie had been acting, the reactions and near attacks and bipolar moods- shit, the only reason he’d been doing that was- “He was only acting like a monster because that’s how we saw him.”

April nodded grimly, another humorless laugh coming from her. “We’re the ones that did that to him. Not Donnie. He was just trying to reach out to us, and I- we screwed even that up for him. God.”

“Shit,” Casey muttered, seeming just as thrown as Raph felt. “Shit. So ‘cause we all freaked out, ‘cept for Mikey, Don freaked out?”

April nodded again, and Casey slumped back against the couch. Raph’s friend put a hand on his forehead, pushing his bangs from his face as he muttered, again, “Shit.”

Raph could agree with that statement.

Leo had put his head in his hands, and was pressing the heels of his palms onto his eyes. Their father had also lowered his head, ears laid flat and stressed.

“My son, oh my son…” Splinter said softly. “What have we done to you?”

Tense quiet followed Splinter’s words, everyone still reeling from what they’d just figured out.

After everything- after all the stupid, horrible shit Donnie had been through- they’d gone and done this to him too. Raph didn’t even know where to begin, other than to reprimand himself for ever doubting his brother.

God. If- when they got Donnie back, Raph wasn’t even sure how he could apologize for this.

Splinter raised his head again after a long pause, and he looked straight at Mikey. “Michelangelo, tell me, were you truly so unafraid of your brother’s appearance?”

“Well, duh,” Mikey said, giving them all a look. “I mean… he’s just Donnie, so why would I be?”

Hearing it said so plainly, and without even a hint of hesitation, really drove home how stupid they’d all been.

Raph felt like an idiot, and like a huge jerk. To both of his younger brothers.

Mikey noticed how Raph and their family were staring, and he squirmed under the five gazes set on him. “Jeeze guys, why the looks? I know it’s stupid, but come on-”

“No,” Raph said, cutting him off before Mikey could finish that sentence. “No it’s not. It’s not even a little stupid. It’s what we all should have done, but we didn’t.”

“Raphael is right,” Splinter said, bringing the attention over to him. He looked at both Raph and Mikey evenly. “We all should never have doubted your brother, no matter what form he had taken. In this, I failed, and I know that many of you have as well. We have done a great disservice to Donatello, and I pray we have chance to rectify it.”

Mikey blinked at the sudden praise, and didn’t seem to know what to do with it. “Uh. Yeah. Me too.”

Splinter nodded once at Mikey, and then turned to the person who held the key to everything. “April? We have found the source of the connection, what is the next step?”

Raph’s hands went into fists again without his conscious choice, and he turned to look at April too. Much as he didn’t like it, and didn’t trust her, April still held all the cards. That meant he had to listen, and restrain his resurging anger at her.

For Donnie. For the chance to get him back.

Raph would do anything, same as he knew his brothers would. Even if that meant listening to the person who’d killed their missing sibling.

April sat up straighter, and Raph saw her regain a bit more of her old self. Her eyes were still dark, though. Still grim. “I didn’t get all of Donnie’s instructions, since he ripped most of them back out with him. But, I did get an idea from everything we’ve talked about. He’ll be back soon, I know he will, and he’ll be collected enough again to speak. We just have to keep him balanced this time. We’re going to need all of us, and a lot lights…”

continued.

[livixbobbiex]

The Depp v Heard Trial Verdict and What it Means

(TERFS and radfems DNI. Just block me and move on. I'm all for a healthy and rational discussion with people who just disagree though)

Once again coming in with my own unsolicited opinion but-

The thing about the Heard/Depp trial is that actually, some of the 'big issues' are quite specific to these events only. I've seen a lot of dialogue, largely in traditional media, about what it represents for women etc.

But, okay. I fail to see how this verdict is some kind of mass anti-women statement when:

There was audio of Heard literally admitting to physical assault.

There was also audio of Heard taunting Depp about telling people about his abuse and going before a jury.

You can make pretty strong inferences from Heard's testimony and the way she delivered it that there was some dishonesty there.

Heard's expert witnesses were unhelpful at best, arguably breaking ethical codes at worst.

The TMZ witness was a huge nail in the coffin. He essentially confirmed that Heard released an edited version of the cupboard tape, as well as leaked information to ensure she ended up caught at the courthouse. AKA, confirmed (at least to me) that there was some kind of set up.

The photos that Heard did show contradicted her own testimony, they did not depict the severity of IPV she described. As in, I would have believed her more if she HADN'T shown those photos. There was also evidence that they were filtered or otherwise edited to look worse.

And this is just to list the large points that stuck out to me at least. And I did watch the entire trial, not just compilations.

This is why I really don't think this specific trial can say much about the treatment of women at all. At least to me, it was never that Heard didn't have enough evidence (she actually claimed she had mountains, so...) or that she wasn't a 'perfect victim'. There's just pretty compelling evidence that she lied. I wouldn't even call it a grey area, in this case.

So, I don't think the jury essentially just... seeing an obvious lie... is anything to do with society and culture. Especially when, arguably, a portion of that culture and indeed 'toxic masculinity' is the idea that men cannot be victims.

I mean, feel free to disagree with me. For context, my personal experience with this entire thing was actually believing Heard without question when this first came to light in 2016. And like, I really don't care about Johnny Depp. I like Pirates, it pretty much starts and ends there. But I do personally remember uproar, keeping in mind I was a teenager at the time, but the air in the room felt very anti-Depp. I remember the petitions to remove him from Fantastic Beasts vividly.

Then a few years later I think the stuff about the Australia incident came to light. I remember feeling conflicted. At that time, I believe I wrote it off as a 'grey area'. But at that point I still believed Heard's account. Didn't say anything about The Sun trial, somehow. But anyway, I basically went into THIS trial with that background, and my opinion was changed entirely.

I believe this trial will make it harder for actual victims of abuse, whatever gender they may be. But that's no fault of the jury, the verdict, or the mass interest in the trial in my opinion. Honestly, I think it literally just comes down to Heard herself lying.

I also do think that it's valid that this leads to discussions about 'me too' etc. Though, I've always thought it's mostly a semantics issue. Maybe 'believe' from 'believe all women' is better put as 'take seriously', 'investigate claims of SA fairly and quickly', 'hear out'. As opposed to 'take instantly as fact', which I do think is how some people see it. And I absolutely think that being less gendered is a good idea. Basically, I think the idea of supporting SA survivors and 'innocent until proven guilty' can co-exist. But that's a whole other issue.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble, I just had a lot of Thoughts.

(btw, this isn't intended to be commentary on the internet attention, especially tiktok, surrounding the trial. I think that's a very complicated issue. Again, I watched the whole thing, and it was mostly out of interest than entertainment/memes for me)

[darknight3904]

Sober - Eddie Munson

Chapter 20- East Hawkins

Masterlist

The school was eerily silent as they flipped though Miss Kelly's files.

"What are we even looking for, Max?" She asked

"I dunno maybe a pattern between Chrissy and Fred. Vecna has to kill with a reason. They can't just be random murders." Max said studying the papers Infront of them.

Marguerite sighed and continued to skim the papers. Nothing was standing out to her other than Fred's ugly school photo. Marguerite hadn't seen much of him since she started dating Eddie. She had opted to sit with the Hellfire club at lunch so she could spend time with her eccentric boyfriend. She felt guilty as Fred's eyes from the picture stared back at her. Maybe if she had stayed close he wouldn't have needed to go to Miss Kelly. Maybe he would still be alive.

"Max? Hey Max?!" Steve yelled

Marguerite looked at her step-sister only to find her staring off into the distance.

"Hey, wake up! What are you doing?" Marguerite scolded

And just like that she was back.

"You sure it was a clock?" Nancy asked

"Yes. It was right here." Max said "I know it sounds stupid."

Marguerite looked from the empty cinder block wall to the panicked girl.

"I believe you Max."  She said softly

"That's not even the bad part." Max said

"Fred and Chrissy...they were both having head aches, bad ones. They'd have nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat. They said they had visions and then everything would just get worse and worse until it ended." Max said

Marguerite was suddenly felt more fear for Max than she had ever felt in her entire life.

"Chrissy's headaches started a week ago and Fred's sick days ago...mine started five days ago."

Please,no...not Max. Not her sister.

"I don't know how long I have. But what I do know is that both of them died less than 24 hours after their first vision. And I just saw that clock so...it looks like I die tomorrow."

Marguerite felt the blood rush away from her face. Max. Her sister was going to end up twisted and mangled like Vecnas other victims. Max the same girl who had insisted she go skateboarding in an ice storm and came back in with a sprained wrist. Max the same one who had held her countless times as she cried about their big brother and his stupid decision to fight that damn monster.

A loud slam interrupted them and Steve moved for a large lamp in the corner.

She followed them out into the hall after a moment and was met with and out of breath Lucas and a frazzled Steve. 

"What the hell, Lucas?! So you shack up with Jason and his idiots and then come crawling back?" Marguerite yelled, still angry Jason had hit her.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't try to stop that but they've gone totally crazy. Dustin they're after you!"

"Yeah that's great Lucas but we have bigger issues than Jason right now."Dustin said looking back at Max

°°°

"Nancy you are out of your mind if you think I'm baby sitting again!" Steve yelled following the Wheeler up the steps.

"They're not babies. And you won't be alone. Maggie's gonna be with you the whole time." Nancy said

"What why me?!" Marguerite groaned

"You just don't have the scholarly look about you." Nancy said

"And she does?!"

Steve and Nancy follow her pointing to where Robin is touching everything on Nancy's dresser and fawning over a ballerina in a box.

"No...but she will." Nancy smiled before pulling out the world's ugliest shirt.

"Oh I uh take it back. Babysitting is great."

°°°

Marguerite didn't know how long she had been staring at Max. Said girl had been writing quite a bit ever since Nancy and Robin had left for Pennhurst. Steve joined her on the couch right as Max got up from her spot.

"These are for you." She said before handing each of them brown envelopes

Did she seriously write down her last wishes in Mike Wheelers basement?

"It's a fail safe in case..."

She did.

"Max you're gonna be fine. I'd never let anything happen to you. I mean shit I'd be like the world's worst sister if I let both my siblings die in the span of one year. Nancy and Robin are finding Vecnas weakness and you're gonna be fine." Marguerite said standing up

Max nodded slowly clearly not believing the other girl. She made her way to Dustin's walkie and picked it up almost as if she was searching for something.

"If we go out to East Hawkins will this reach Pennhurst?" She asked

"Yeah probably." Dustin said

"Wait why are we talking about East Hawkins?" Steve asked

"No get back here!" Steve yelled

"If you think I'm spending my last day alive in the armpit that is Mike Wheeler's basement then you're out of your mind." Max said

"We are not leaving the house." Steve said again as he reached his car.

Max tried the handle and was obviously annoyed when it was locked.

"Steve open the door." Max said

"I am not driving you to East Hawkins." Steve said "absolutely not, no way."

East Hawkins was calm, peaceful. Honestly it made sense to bury him here. Him being Billy. Marguerite still remembered the funeral like it was yesterday. There hadn't been too many people there. Just their family along with Lucas and Steve. Marguerite remembered how she almost fell apart about a thousand times that day and how hard it was to watch the coffin go into the ground knowing how mangled his body was under that stupid door.

"I just want five minutes." Max said before leaving the car

Marguerite watched as Lucas followed her and exchanged clearly some emotionally charged words. She liked Lucas, he might have been her favorite freshman if it weren't for Dustin's presence. Something about the curly haired boys presence was comforting.

The minute's ticked by as Marguerite kept her eyes on her sister who sat Infront of Billy's grave.

"Alright. Times up. She can get a lawyer if she wants." Steve said before leaving the car

"Somethings wrong." Marguerite said as she saw Steve shaking her

"Shit shit shit!" Dustin yelled as they made their way up the hill.

Chaos insued as Marguerite yelled at Max to wake up. Her eyes filled with tears as her hands shook her sisters shoulders.

"God damn it Max! Wake the hell up!!" Marguerite screamed

Steve's yelling faded as Dustin returned asking for Max's favorite song.

"Why is this relevant?!" Marguerite screeched, worried for her sister

"I can't explain right now! What. Is. Her. Favorite. Song." Dustin said again

God Marguerite hated that song. It was constantly on repeat whenever she went into Max's room. Kate Bush had been the bane of Marguerite Hargrove's existence for the past few months, but now she was about to the savior.

Sorry for the lack of Eddie recently. It's hard to fit him into the story line and maintain Marguerite's status as Max's sister. Hes coming back soon though I promise!!