#i have been less active here i apologise

[charizardstolemynickname]

HAPPY LAST DAY OF PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!!!

I am starting a new show! (I have been saying this a while now BUT COLLEGE IS GONE FOR THE YEAR SO FREEDOM!) plus its the last day of pride so I will start one

I am so indecisive I am putting: Gravity Falls; Deadend paranormal park; Amphibia; or Supergirl (the only non-cartoon and non-wlw canon show but shush katie mcgrath owns my heart), into a virtual spinning wheel to decide which to watch!

[sl-ut]

still here

pairing: joel miller x fem!reader

description: joel is older than y/n, but that’s never been a concern of hers until very recently.

warnings: UNEDITED, age gap (legal), swearing, mentions of sex, mentions of ageing, mentions of health issues, mentions of insecurities, angsty, i literally stole the final line from tlou s1e3

words: 2.3K

date posted: 29/03/23

(idk how i feel about this yet, the idea just popped into my head and i wrote it in about an hour and a half so don’t be too mad if its not great!)

Fifty-eight was not old. Y/n had been reassuring Joel of that since they had started dating. Maybe he was older than her, but that had very little to do with the way that she felt about him. 

His age was among his biggest insecurities. He was a man who had lived through and was hardened by the apocalypse, while she was just a child when it happened, and was able to deal with the trauma of the world ending much better due to the fact that she simply couldn’t remember any part of her life from before. The apocalypse had taken a great toll on him, both emotionally and physically. 

Twenty-odd years ago, he was a relatively young man, and a rather fit one at that. As a contractor, his body had developed and hardened from the amounts of physical labour that he was constantly performing, and while he was still physically active after the outbreak, his age made it more difficult to prevent his belly from softening and his joints from weakening. He was less willing to admit that he was insecure about his physical appearance, though he did very little to hide it. In fact, he had batted her away during their first few times having sex when she had tried to unbutton his shirt, instead choosing to stay mostly clothed while she was nearly bare. She did her best to assure him that she was very attracted to him, though it still took quite a bit of coaxing before he was willing to shed his clothes in her presence. 

Her attraction was not phased by his age, in fact, it may have been accelerated by it, though she could not deny the fact that it definitely frightened her. When she first met Joel, she was a bright-eyed twenty-year old who was morbidly turned on by the sexy fifty-year old man next door, and was wildly ignorant to the looming danger when she had started a relationship with him a few years later; the world was not built for long lifespans anymore, and there would come a day when Joel would no longer be there with her. During their early relationship, Joel warned her of exactly that, but she waved him off and promised him that it didn’t scare her.

And it hadn’t, until fairly recently. She was grateful that she, Ellie, and Joel had come across Jackson; she was able to let her guard down, socialise, and thrive in the new community. She and Joel were able to settle into their new home while Ellie set up camp in the garage out back, and they could look forward to actually living rather than basic survival. The lessened worry in her life allowed her to see what was right before her for the first time.

She had comforted Joel before when he complained about the pain in his knees and hands, though she was truly seeing the effects that it was having on him since their arrival in Jackson. Just last week, the man had nearly thrown his back out from laughing a bit too hard at something that Ellie said, and his salt-and-pepper hair seemed to have lightened considerably more. 

She had even noted his lowered libido, having gone from wanting her at least once a day to once or twice a week–though she was certain it wasn’t for a lack of physical attraction on his end, as he had been eager when she began to kiss him, only his body seemed to be working against his wants. That was his greatest insecurity yet, especially since it had begun happening on a more regular basis. He was always quick to apologise, offering to help her out in other ways, though she always assured him that everything was fine, and it was.

Everything was fine, but her fear of that changing was growing exponentially with every physical sign of his ageing. She did her best to hide her concerns, knowing that they would only be proof of his insecurities, and instead made an effort to keep him healthy in a more subtle manner, such as suggesting that he eats less red meat, inviting him on long evening strolls through the town, and forcing him to join her for long bubble baths to soothe his aches and pains. If he had picked up on this, he hadn’t mentioned it, and she could always tell when he did, because he would wave it off or do something ridiculous that would only end up proving her point.

Then came the final straw.

She was working in the gardens with Maria that day, chatting back and forth happily and they worked to tidy up the growing crops. They had become good friends in Y/n’s time in Jackson, bonding over their shared love for the Miller boys. Maria had been rambling, going on about something that Tommy had done to piss her off earlier that week, finishing her story with a shake of her head before she changed the subject.

“Oh, I meant to ask you,” the woman turned her head, “How’s Joel feeling today? Tommy told me about what happened, that’s an awful scare. At his age, chest pain is not something to be taken lightly–not to say that he’s old or unhealthy, but you know how it is.”

Y/n froze, tilting her head at the woman, “Tommy told you…chest pain?”

“He never told you.” Maria’s expression tightened, realising that the younger woman had no idea what she was talking about. She sighed, dropping her tools and turning to face Y/n as she placed her hands on her hips, “Look, I don’t mean to be the one causing issues between you two, but this isn’t something to mess around with. The other day, while Joel and Tommy were out on patrol, Tommy said that Joel suddenly got dizzy, weak, and was complaining about some pain in his chest. Now, in saying that, I know that he’s been to the doctor, and he’s probably got his reasons for not telling you.”

Y/n pursed her lips, face hardening at the sudden burn of tears at her waterline, “Yeah, I’m sure he did. When did you say this was?”

“Earlier this week. Tuesday, I think.”

She shook her head. It was Saturday, meaning that it had been almost an entire week since this happened and Joel had neglected to tell her. Y/n chose not to respond, quickly finishing up her work before bidding Maria goodnight, heading back to her shared house with Joel.

When she arrived, there was no response to her call, but Joel’s coat thrown on the back of the couch betrayed that he was home, and the soft sounds of his guitar coming from the back porch revealed his location. The strumming came to a stop as the backdoor creaked open, his eyes turning to face her with a soft smile.

“Hey, darlin’-” His peaceful expression shifted to one of worry when he took her in own sombre face, “What’s the matter–did something happen?”

She shook her head, shrugging as she leaned against the railing, “I don’t know, did something happen? Because today, when I was with Maria, she seemed awfully concerned about how you were feeling.”

Realisation dawned on his features, his brows furrowing as he moved the guitar out his lap and ran a hand over his face, “Baby, it’s nothin–”

“Don’t do that,” she scowled at him, “don’t tell me it’s nothing when it’s so clearly not nothing. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you worrying about me.”

She scoffed, “Fuck, you did a great job of doing that, didn’t you? What am I supposed to do when I hear from someone else that you had to go to the infirmary almost a week ago because you had chest pain? I mean, really, that’s not something to fuck around with, especially–”

“Especially what?” He challenged, already knowing what she was thinking.

Y/n stopped, debating whether or not she wanted to say it, “Especially at your age.”

He stood up and marched to the other side of the patio and rested his hands on the railing, looking out across the small backyard. Y/n could practically feel the emotions that radiated from him; a mixture of anger, annoyance, embarrassment, and shame. 

She sighed, moving to rest a hand on his back, “Joel, you know I don’t care about your age. I love you, but I need you to start taking care of yourself. This needs to be a wakeup call, I mean, it definitely is for me.”

“Why,” he huffed, “you finally coming to your senses? Finally realising that sooner or later I’m gonna–”

“Please don’t say it,” she whispered, sniffling softly as she rested her forehead in the middle of his back, “Please, please, please.”

Joel scowled, sliding away from her grasp, “About time you start to face reality, darlin’. I’m old, I’ve accepted it. Maybe you should wisen up and go find someone who’s not gonna leave you sooner or later, huh?”

Joel escaped into the house and out the front door, slamming it shut behind him. Y/n let out a shaky breath, moving to sit on the bench where Joel had been when she had gotten home, curling into herself and letting silent tears streak down her cheeks. It was only moments later when she heard her own name being called, Ellie creeping out onto the patio nervously.

Y/n wiped her cheeks, smiling weakly at the girl as she sat next to her, “Hey Jellybean.”

Ellie smiled at the name, having not heard it for a while now. She felt somewhat bad about that, having been a result of her requesting to be treated more like an adult, “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I was just over there, so…”

Y/n smiled at the teen, curling her arm around her shoulder affectionately, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just…concerned, I guess.”

She nodded, leaning against the older female, “Are you guys gonna be okay?”

Y/n smiled at the child-like question, as if she were asking her parents if they were getting a divorce–which, to be fair, she sort of was, “Yeah, baby. We’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

The uncertainty in Ellie’s voice caused her breath to catch in her throat, finally thinking over the fight. Were they okay? Maybe you should wisen up and go find someone who’s not gonna be leaving you sooner or later. Those words in themselves felt like a knife driving into her gut–was that him ending things? She had dealt with Joel’s insecurities before, but he had never blatantly told her to leave him behind, nor has he ever explicitly pointed out that he would probably die long before her. Before she could even finish her thought, her head fell forward and a loud sob escaped from her throat. 

Ellie was quick to pull her into a hug, awkwardly trying to soothe her as she wept into her shoulder. She listened to her ramble on, struggling to understand everything that she was saying, frowning to herself as she made a mental note to go after Joel the moment that she felt comfortable enough to leave Y/n to herself.

– – –

Y/n’s eyes fluttered open as she felt the mattress shift beneath her. Her foggy vision took in her side of the room, dimly lit by the lamp on her bedside table before she glanced over her shoulder, finding Joel’s back as he leaned down to untie his boots. His back cracked as he straightened up, reminding her of their fight, though she was feeling more confident that he hadn’t broken up with her considering that he had come to bed with her. 

She reached out tiredly, fingers brushing over his back as she murmured his name. He turned his head slightly to acknowledge her, but he didn’t entirely face her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice hoarse from crying, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” he sighed, finally twisting his body to sit sideways on the mattress. His own face showed signs of stress, and his eyes were rimmed with red, “I know, baby. I’m sorry too.”

Joel apologising was no small feat, that much she knew. Normally when they fought, he would give a simple you were right and do something nice for her, but it was very rare for him to actually apologise.

“It’s just…” she pushed herself to sit up, “I know you don’t like to think about this, but it’s really scary for me. I’m not stupid, I know you’re older than me and I know that there’s no stopping the inevitable–” she choked, “but I won’t apologise for trying to prolong it as much as possible.”

He dropped his head, “I know, I’m scared too. Just the thought of leaving you here all on your own…”

She crawled across the bed, smoothly working her way onto his lap and engulfing him in a tight hug. The weight of his arms around her pulled yet another sob out of her throat. His large hands found purchase on her back, sliding up and down her spine as his chest shook with his own tears. 

She pulled her head out of his neck, staring up at him with large, teary eyes. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, forcing him to meet her eyes, “Please let me help you. I’m not ashamed of you or your age, but I don’t know how I’m gonna live without you, so please tell me next time.”

He nodded, “I’m sorry. For not tellin’ you, and for being so fuckin’ old.”

“I like you older,” she snorted, fingers stroking along his furry jawline, “it means you’re still here.”

[milswrites]

Hobbies Part 4.

~Azriel X Reader~

Summary: In an attempt to keep Azriel away from Elain, Rhys sends him on a sabbatical to the Day Court. With a lot more free time on his hands Azriel needs to find something to keep him occupied. Unfortunately he meets Y/N who has the annoying habit of not staying away. Can she teach him that there’s more to life than he thought?

Grumpy!Azriel X Sunshine!Reader

Series masterlist

Warnings: tiny tiny bit of angst but this is mainly fluff :)

Notes: Thank you guys for all the love on this series! I love reading all your comments <3

“No Azriel! That’s way too much sugar!”

Frustrated, Azriel sighed, halting his pouring of the sugar into the mixing bowl and heavily slamming the bag onto the counter, where it fell over and sugar spilled out of the bag covering his kitchen top.

Trying to keep his cool, Azriel replied through gritted teeth, “Fine. You do it then! This is a lot more work than I thought it would be anyways”.

Y/N placed her small hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze. It did the job, Azriel breathing in deeply through his nose and immediately apologising for his outburst.

“It’s alright,” she smiled, removing her hand from him so she could start to clean up the mess he had made, “it’s not that big of a deal. I just didn’t want you to rot your pretty little teeth with all that sugar.”

Sighing, Azriel moved to help Y/N, “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this, you would have been better off doing it alone.”

“Nonsense, the point of this is that you’re trying something new. It wouldn’t be very good if you gave up this easy”

Azriel would never understand how Y/N could always be so happy and calm, especially when dealing with his bad moods and sudden angry outbursts constantly ruining their time together. No matter how much Azriel tried to shove her away or how many times he got mad at her, Y/N was always there, smile on her face, a soothing presence to help draw him back from the darkness. Y/N was an angel sent by the mother.

He couldn’t imagine anyone else he knew being patient enough to teach him how to bake, but here Y/N was. She had turned up at his door, bag of goods in hand and announced they were going to make a cake together before matching into his flat.

Azriel was glad he had started opening his curtains and fixed the holes his knives had left in the wall, which as the days went by started looking a little less like Rhysand’s face. He had even moved the sketchbook and pencils Y/N had gifted him off the floor of his flat. He wouldn’t have liked to have seen her distraught face if she had entered his flat only to have seen them gathering dust on the floor.

So here they were, squashed together in his small kitchen, attempting to bake a cake. Once the sugar was cleared, they continued with the recipe. Only this time Y/N hovered her hands close to Azriel’s whenever he poured something into the bowl to ensure there weren’t any more mishaps. Though he wasn’t sure how much that helped, the ghost of her touch making his hands shake nervously.

Batter complete, Y/N carefully transferred it into the container for baking and placed it into the oven. “Now we wait” she hummed, licking the cake mixture from her fingers before removing her apron, Azriel’s eyes transfixed on the movement.

“Uh, would you like to go sit down while we wait?” Azriel awkwardly stuttered, as if not sure how to converse now that there was a break in activity.

Y/N completely unaware of the awkward atmosphere that Azriel had imagined, happily skipped over to his living room before hopping onto one of his sofas, bring her legs up and tucking them under her. Azriel followed like a lost puppy and made to sit on the same sofa as her before he changed his mind, not wanting to make Y/N uncomfortable and sat in the chair opposite.

“I see you’ve taken up decorating,” Y/N teased, sight set on the wall where the holes at once been, where Azriel had done a terrible job of attempting to plaster them back up, “maybe don’t quit your job. I don’t really see a future for you in interior design.”

Azriel acknowledged her joke with a scoff but failed to reply. Instead, his focus was on Y/N’s dress now she had removed the apron which had been hiding it since she arrived at his door. Her dress was a lovely shade of cobalt blue, similar to that of his siphons, and was different to the normally bright colours she wore that reflected the usual Day Court attire. If he squinted he could trace the delicate silver threads that trailed over the material depicting swirls and markings that reflected that of the Illyrian tattoos he and his brothers bore. Azriel shook his head, no, the details were too small for him to make out from this distance, he was just seeing what he wanted to see.

“Your dress is pretty, is it new?” He asked wanting to sate his curiosity. At this Y/N blushed a deep shade of red and sat up a little straighter, “oh…um yes I had some free time earlier this week and I was feeling inspired so I made a few new things”.

“It looks… it’s great” Azriel cursed himself for giving such a poor response but he was too stunned by his shadows whispering to him that Y/N had made it with him in mind. His shadows message was what drew him back to reality. There was no way in hell that Y/N would use him as inspiration. His shadows, though they weren’t normally, were wrong.

Wanting nothing more than to distract himself from his swimming thoughts and shadows teasing that Y/N admires and appreciates him, Azriel joked, “no dress for me?” If possible Y/N turned an even deeper shade of red, “I don’t think you’d fit in this Az.”

Still unable to tear his eyes from her dress, which hugged her curves so beautifully it was Y/N’s turn to change the topic, “so how have you been enjoying the Day Court?”

“It’s not the Night Court, but it’s not bad. It has some redeeming qualities.” At his words Azriel’s eyes trailed up Y/N’s body, over her slightly exposed chest and finally stopped when they met her eyes which were staring right back at him.

Hiding their unspoken words with humour must have been something both Azriel and Y/N shared as she replied, “I’m suprised you didn’t burst into flames at the first sign of daylight. Isn’t it always dark where you’re from?”

“What?” Azriel laughed, thoughts of Y/N’s dress long gone. “You think it’s always dark in the Night Court?”

Embarrassed Y/N stutters, “Well… it’s just… it’s called the Night court!”

By this point Azriel had lost it, tears forced their way out from his eyes as he laughed and laughed at Y/N’s foolishness. Y/N looked as if she didn’t know whether to be amused by Azriel’s reaction or utterly distressed at how stupid she had made herself appear in front of him.

“You get nighttime in the day court don’t you?” Azriel spoke in-between laughs. Now defensive upon realisation that she really had been a fool, Y/N tried to help her situation, “well it’s not as if I’ve ever been to another court”.

Azriel’s laughter stopped at this, he forgets that not everyone has been to as many places as he had. That many people never actually saw the outsides of their own court. That was one fortune of his job role as spymaster.

“What do you even do for Helion?” Azriel asked, realising that he didn’t even know. It was easy to forget that Y/N was sent here by Helion, that she wasn’t spending time with Azriel out of her own free will no matter how much he wished for it to be so.

“I am a courtier. I deal internally within the Day Court. Make sure the people are happy, give their feedback to Helion.”

“So your whole job…is just to make people happy?”

“It’s a little more than that but yes I make people happy. Can’t be doing my job very well if you haven’t realised that though”

There it was again. The horrible reminder to Azriel that you weren’t here for pleasure, it made something ugly grow inside of him, the realisation that you were only pretending to be his friend.“Right. I forget you’re being paid to be here.”

“Actually no, I’m not. I took the day off today” Y/N said it dismissively, as if it wasn’t important.

But to Azriel, to him it meant everything. Y/N had taken the day off and had decided out of her own free will that she wanted to come and spend her precious time off with him. Azriel knew from his own count how few and far between getting days off are. Hope glimmered in his chest that perhaps whatever this thing growing between them was, she felt it too. That Y/N wanted to explore it just as badly as Azriel did.

The distance between them suddenly felt too much. Azriel shifted forward, all senses telling him he needed to get closer to the woman sat on the sofa before him.

He wondered if he asked the question, asked why she was here, she’d be honest and tell him it was for him. Tell him she wanted him just as badly as he found himself wanting her.

But of course, as soon as Azriel opened his mouth, as if knowing what he was about to say, Y/N jumped to her feet interrupting the moment. “Oh cauldron the cake!” It was only now Azriel noticed the burning smell slowly creeping through the flat, the two had been so engrossed in each other, in their conversation, that they hadn’t realised just how long they had been sat there.

Azriel launched on his own feet, tailing Y/N as she sped to the kitchen and tore the cake from the oven, the top of which was black and smoking.

“Well at least it’s not on fire” Azriel said and at the same time Y/N huffed “so much for a birthday cake.”

She said it quiet. So quiet that Azriel probably wouldn’t have caught it if it wasn’t for his shadows repeating it to him as they whispered in his ear.

“Your birthday? You wanted to spend your birthday with me?” Azriel was caught off guard with this information. Y/N, who had been stood there blowing on the cake as if it would suddenly catch on fire, stopped what she was doing and casually replied “yeah?” So casually in fact that she acted as if it was obvious that she would want to spend the day with Azriel, holed up in his flat baking together.

“But what about your family? Friends?” Azriel was still in disbelief that someone would choose to be with him.

“No family. And I guess I work so much and spend so much time making sure everyone else is happy that I forget about myself, so no friends really” she shrugged, as if it didn’t really bother her and Azriel supposed he could relate. He didn’t have any other friends outside the inner circle. And yet where Azriel was cold and moody, even with his found family, Y/N was alone and she acted as if she was the happiest person on the planet. Every time Azriel found himself understanding the Day Court woman, he learnt something new that completely altered what he thought of her.

“Come on are we going to decorate this or not! I hope your cake decorating skills are better than your wall ones” Y/N smiled up at him, “Ooh I totally forgot, I should have given it to you earlier, don’t want to get messy” she began routing through the bag she had brought, until she must have found what she was looking for as she pulled out a spare apron. An apron which was the same shade of bright yellow as her own.

Azriel opened his mouth to protest but his traitorous shadows reminded him that Y/N had decided to spend her birthday with him and urged him to go along with what she says to keep her happy. With a grumble Azriel put on the sun-coloured item, a flat look on his face as he glanced down at Y/N who was positively beaming.

“The mother sent you to torture me didn’t she” Azriel was sure he said it in relation to the uncharacteristically bright clothing she had made him wear but now, eyes hovering over her body once more, he wondered if he was talking more about the agony of being in her presence and not acting on the feelings stirring within him.

“You caught me”, she giggled playfully as she busied herself preparing the ingredients needed for the icing, “I was sent here to make your life miserable”

Unable to stop the words coming from his mouth Azriel couldn’t help but say, “well you’re not doing a very good job of that” That earned him a wink and an air kiss from Y/N, Azriel found himself wishing to know what her lips would feel like elsewhere. What they would feel like on his.

Thankful that Y/N had chosen to make the icing herself, Azriel watched on as she stirred the bowl, happily chatting away to him about her week and all the people she had helped at work.

It was in this domestic bliss that he allowed himself to dream. To imagine what his life would be like if Y/N was from the Night Court. He imagined coming home from work to find her in the kitchen baking, a kiss on his cheek in greeting as she tells him all about his day, about the dresses she made. It was a life Azriel could never have, not while they both had loyalties to their own courts, but he allowed himself to dream.

A tentative touch to his hand pulled him back to reality. Y/N was holding the tips of his fingers, face full of concern as she looked up at him, “Are you ok?”

Azriel’s breath caught in his throat at their closeness, heat crossing his cheeks, “Yeah, never better. Are we going to start?” Y/N’s smile returned but her eyes still flashed with worry, “Show me what you got bat boy.”

The cake wasn’t pretty. A mash of different brightly coloured icing mixed together in an unorganised mess. Some of which was smudged on their hands, faces and aprons as they struggled to try and make the cake look appetising after it had been burnt. Now they both stood admiring their hard work which stood lopsided on the kitchen counter.

“I guess we eat it now right?” Y/N said, reaching over for the knife on the top to cut into it.

“One minute” Azriel’s words stopped her reaching and he rooted through the cupboard above him looking for something. “Aha” he said victoriously, pulling out a single candle, the type made for lighting a room, not a birthday cake. But all the same, Azriel stuck it in the middle of the uneven cake and lit the flame. It wasn’t perfect but Azriel as proud, proud he had made something for once instead of the usual destruction he leaves in his wake.

“Make a wish” he spoke softly, traces of a smile creeping onto his face as he watched Y/N hold her icing-stained hair back as she leaned forward to blow the candle out, closing her eyes tightly as if she was wishing really hard.

“What did you wish for?” He asked, something stirring inside him.

“It won’t come true if I tell you silly” Y/N said as she plucked the candle from the cake so she could serve it. Cutting them both a slice they lifted it to their lips, each taking a bite.

It was the most disgusting thing Azriel had ever tasted and it was most definitely his lack of baking skills to blame. Y/N’s eyes bulged and she grabbed a napkin before spitting the cake in her mouth out into it. Azriel, not quite as ladylike, spat it onto the plate in his hands.

“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday cake” Azriel anxiously said as he watched Y/N help herself to water and start chugging it in an attempt to get rid of the taste. She shook her head, swallowing the last gulp of her water before saying, “it was perfect Az. Thank you for spending the day with me.”

Realising that they had finished doing what she had come for and that she would now take her leave, an odd sense of fear sparked in Azriel. Fear that he didn’t want the day to end, that he could spend forever surrounded by the vanilla-scented presence of this beautiful woman before him. So Azriel took a leap.

“Would you like to go out? For your birthday of course”

Y/N’s eyes snapped to his and for a moment Azriel was worried she was going to say no. But then the biggest grin he had ever seen on her face broke out and Y/N squealed, “Yes!”

“Great! Great!” panic now filled Azriel as he had no idea what they were actually going to do, “do you…do you mind if I have a few hours to come up with something?”

Y/N agreed, saying how it would be best to wash the icing from her hair and change first, and so she packed her bag and walked to the door to leave. Azriel, opened it for her the promise of seeing her later on his lips when Y/N leaned up and placed a gentle kiss onto his cheek causing his jaw to drop in shock.

A shy giggle left her mouth at his reaction, her sweet voice filling his red ears as she said, “I’ll see you soon Az” His eyes chased after her as she left, travelling down to linger on her beautiful dress once more, the silver markings, his markings, glistening in the light as she walked.

Azriel stayed rooted to the spot, staring into space at the corner of the corridor where she had just left. Unsure of how long he had been there, his senses returned when his neighbour walked round the corner, jumping in shock at seeing the large Illyrian warrior stood there in a frilly yellow apron. Azriel grunted and slammed the door shut.

Part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes: would you guys like to vote where Azriel takes her in the next part or would you like to leave it up to me?

Enjoy the fluff while it lasts there’s still lots of angst to come :)

Taglist:

@thelov3lybookworm @minnieoo @going-through-shit @iluvyewman-blog @laughterafter @amysangel @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @justvibbinghere

@darling006 @anuttellaa @serendipityx150 @xxxalicerogersxx @that-one-little-soybean @scatteredstardustt @naturakaashi @honeybeeboobaa @willowpains

(I think that’s everyone but if I’ve accidentally missed you let me know)

[simpxxstan]

i’ve just finished reading your wonwoo!fics from the 550 followers event and i decided i need to request something myself because they were just TOO GOOD

given that, i thought about police officer!wonwoo (or mingyu, i wouldn’t mind—) who’s like super handsome and hot and all but also super nice and helpful and loves cats and—

and maybe he’s living in the same neighbourhood as y/n and they just feel drawn towards each other? idk, i’m not really good at making up scenarios 😭😭

it can go both ways, starting fluffy and then get smutty or angsty, everything’s gonna be fine <3

all i know is that i need to read something from you again 🫶🏼🫶🏼

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST! so firstly, I apologise if I disappoint you because instead of wonu, I did mingyu, because I had this wildest fantasy about him but I hope you like it still!! And I also added a few twists in the plot, because I wanted to spice it up a bit. I really pray you'll enjoy my version too!

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event! find the rest of the content of this event here!

also, thank you to everyone who's interacted with the event <333 your enthusiasm is so so much appreciated! the event is still on till the end of this month so you can still send in requests, my inbox is open hehe :) also to those who have sent in requests, T_T i am SOR SORRY for making you wait but honestly i am trying my best :((( i will answer your request as soon as i can, thank you for your patience <3

genre: strangers to lovers, police and criminal au, smut, fluff, neighbours au

word count: 5k words

warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DO NOT INTERACT police officer!mingyu, discussions of illegal racing, gangs, criminals, criminal activities, gambling (but nothing is explicit except the racing activities). smut warnings: unprotected sex (please please do not do this irl), almost public sex, oral (m. receiving), making out, usage of pet names, size kink, mingyu's a perv for reader

It's been six months since Mingyu has shifted to this town, and he's not regretted it a single day. it's a wonderful, quaint little town, on the edge of the city, that's close enough to the hustle but far enough to not be a site for trouble. The people are lovely and they've really accepted him with a full heart- the old ladies who bring him their delicious cooked food during his lunch breaks, the young boys who follow his gym routine meticulously, the mothers who either shamelessly flirt with him or try to set up their children with him, the fathers who pat his back proudly after a long day of work, the children who run around his clean police station with curious eyes.

After his busy five years in his posting at the city, this feels like heaven to him. He had joined the force in his craving for adrenaline and his innate nature of being helpful to everyone had driven him deeper into the profession. But he's twenty-seven now, and maturity has dampened the fire within his soul, although not his desire for social peace and justice- hence his choice to shift here.

It's not a town renowned for crime, and most of his days are peaceful with minor reports of petty theft or pickpocketing. But Mingyu has his fair share of excitement- being on the outskirts of the city, the edges of the town are less tame than the heart of it. It's a den for many gangs- all linked by the illegal racing grounds outside the town. Mingyu doesn't have any way to reach the gangs- they're being pursued by the force in the bigger cities with far more resources than sanctioned to his police station. But he tries to ensure the gangs and their dirty business doesn't get into his town. And Mingyu has his hands full with it.

But being busy keeps Mingyu happy. He's loved by the townsfolk and he's found a kind of peace here, different and yet beautiful. It's a slow town, and he's fallen into a routine that's good for his slowing-down body and his slowing-down mind.

So it's been a long, long day of work and at the end of the week, he's tired and ready to fall into his bed after eating anything that's in the fridge. But when he's walking up the stairs of his apartment building, his eyes meet a scene that's out of routine.

"Hello? Can I help you?" Mingyu walks up quickly as he sees you struggle to pull up two suitcases up the stairs, along with the clearly heavy rucksack on your back. "No! Thanks, no, I'm fine." "Please allow me, I live right here on this floor." And Mingyu casually picks up the suitcases, with a smile on his face. He doesn't miss the ways your body relaxes instantly and your eyes light up. "Umm, I'm here on this floor too. Just moved in into 309." "And I'm in 311. Right across your flat!" "I'm so happy to meet a neighbour already. I'm Y/N." "And I'm Mingyu."

And Mingyu feels the exhaustion of the day wear out when he sees your whole smile- not a tight-lipped smile, but the one that shows your teeth and your dimples. Well, dimple. There's only one big dimple on your left cheek, and it's a beautiful smile that stays on Mingyu's mind long through the night after you disappear into your flat and Mingyu goes into his own.

_

Mingyu doesn't know why he's suddenly choosing to skip his daily gym routine in favour of a run through the town at 5.30 am (nearly an hour before he's ever woken up in his entire life). Maybe one day he wakes up at 5.30 to use the washroom but spots you leave the building in your jogging shorts and earplugs. He joins the dots and his body joins them too- safe to say, he couldn't sleep again that morning. And neither the morning after that, because he's determined to join you on your run.

You don't talk much except brief interactions, and your speed is much faster than him, but he doesn't mind the exhaustion. The wink you throw him every time he lags behind and the bottle of water you offer him right after you drink from it too is enough motivation for him to keep running. Of course it helps that you compliment the way his muscles strain through his tank top and Mingyu's chest blows up even further with pride.

And it's so subtle, but Mingyu feels you slowly open up more to him.

It's in the won't you come in for coffee? I make a mean iced coffee.

It's in the I was shopping for groceries and brought you cooking oil, since you were asking for it yesterday. I thought you may not have had the time to go for shopping, since you're so busy at work.

It's in the see this magnet? my baby cousin made it.

And Mingyu goes to you like a moth drawn to a flame. He's drawn to you when he decides to take you out (for a friendly afternoon outing, he calls it officially, but internally he's treating it as a date). He's drawn to you when you show him around the veterinary where you work. He's drawn to you when he sees you eating ice cream on his couch after he's cooked dinner for the two of you. He's drawn to you when you barely touch his arm and tell him that you really like all your neighbours and the entire community in the town is great, but you're especially glad to have found Mingyu because he's one of the only people here who's near your age. And he's drawn to you when you smile for him, that rich, dimpled smile, after he tells you that you're exactly the friend he's been looking for since he's come here.

After that, Mingyu doesn't know what happens in what order. Do you kiss him first? Or does he kiss you first? Do you climb into his lap? Or does he pull you onto him? Do you bite his lip when his hands wander down to your ass that he's been eyeing for weeks now on every morning run? Or does he bite your lip when your hands weave through his hair? It's a blur, and when you pull back for a breath, your lips swollen, the first button of your shirt open, and a hickey already blooming near your collarbone, Mingyu knows only one thing. How he wants. Wants you. Wants more. Wants now-

"Mingyu, I- I don't know how to say this... it's not like I didn't like this. And I- I- umm. Maybe I should leave? Because if I stay I won't be able to hold back and I want to think about this a little bit?"

And oh, your eyes are so wide and so pretty, and the skin of your arms feel like butter under his touch, but he lets you go. He lets you walk away, a shy smile on your lips. He lets you kiss him on his cheek once before disappearing into your own flat, and Mingyu shuts the door and takes deep breaths as he leans on his door.

He's ready to give you all the time in the world to think, but he's sure that he's already yours. He just knows at the end of it, he needs to make you his too.

_

"Hello, darling."

The tone on the other end is unmistakable, and Mingyu sighs. "Don't try to seduce me, love. It's not gonna work." He's said this before, but the message clearly hasn't gotten through. The honey voice drawls on in a painfully slow pace, "You're late tonight. What's up?" "I was busy," he huffs, his heart still beating fast from making out with you a few minutes ago.

"Busy? Unbelievable." "A police officer can't be busy? Is it so unfathomable?" "No. What's unfathomable is that Kim Mingyu is off his routine. I wonder if there's something new... or someone new?"

The voice laughs, and Mingyu knows it's friendly prodding. His relationship with the person on the other side of the line might be anything but friendly but it's yet again become a part of his routine, and at least the friendly banter breaks the monotony.

"Are you jealous that I talk to women apart from you?" Mingyu smirks, knowing two can play this game.

"I'm jealous that she's taking up my time. You have to show her what's her place, really."

"Don't be rude love. You know I've got my ears on your voice only. Now, tell me if you have any news."

"Oh, getting straight to the point, I see..."

"Oh come on!"

The voice becomes serious instantly. Gone is the sexy drawl, and it's replaced by crisp words that are music to Mingyu's ears. "I've heard Taffy's gang making some noise in the borders. You might wanna come and look at it once for yourself."

"Do you have any more information?"

"Nothing much right now, officer. Look, I'm holding up my end of the bargain but you've got to be patient."

Mingyu groans. It's not good news, and it's certainly not enough news. But he'll take a look himself to make sure he understands the graveness of the situation correctly.

"Okay. When should I come? Tell me when Taffy's men are lurking around the area?"

The voice shifts again into a teasing, seductive tone, making Mingyu jerk at the sudden transition.

"Come tomorrow? Race night."

"Yeah no that's not happening. I'll-"

"Tomorrow, babe. Wanna see you race. A big boy like you likes his fast bikes, don't you?"

The thought of racing sends a spike of adrenaline rushing through his veins, but he knows this is illegal. It's one thing allowing the leader of the races to become his informant so that he can keep an eye on the circuit as well as get key pieces of information that remain hidden to the legal eye. But it's an entirely different thing getting into the centre of the mess himself and be involved in it.

And yet, a part of him wants to feel the thrill again. Tonight, after years, he felt that adrenaline rushing through him when you'd tugged at his collar and kissed him repeatedly. Fuck. It had felt good, hadn't it? One night won't matter, will it?

"I'll be there."

"Fantastic. Can't wait to see you, babe."

_

Mingyu doesn't see you the next morning. He waits outside your door at 5.30, but doesn't knock, hoping you'll come out eventually. But you don't. He doesn't spot you through the rest of the day either, and it makes him worry. But he's decided to give you your space and time, so he will be patient... at least for one more day.

It's a Sunday so Mingyu has a half-day at work. When he's back from work, his mind is still all over the place. Should he even go to the race tonight? He's raced a bit back in college days, but everything pretty legal. Nothing like the den of vice he knows he's going to walk into tonight. But he also knows that this is the best way for him to infiltrate through the layers of middlemen that stop information from reaching his ears.

By the time 8.30 comes around, there's no text from you. Instead, there's a text from his informant, saved under the codename of layla (he knows it's not her real name, but he doesn't care enough to ask about it).

I'll see you at the circuit tonight, darling. Don't be late.

Mingyu's heart speeds up. Is it wrong to feel excited right now? As a conscientious police officer, he should definitely not feel excited. But as nothing more than a man, he feels his blood become warm at the thought of meeting the woman behind that voice he's spoken to for almost three months now. He's almost 100% sure the voice isn't generated by a voice modifier or AI, but it's also impossible for that to be someone's real voice, so there must be some pitch changes or something along those lines. Nevertheless, their conversations has often made him wonder about the woman herself.

She's a shadow- no one really knows who she is. But about four months ago, when she'd called him up herself to supply information in order to buy protection for herself and her racing infrastructure, Mingyu had yielded instantly by weighing his priorities. And since then, he's tried endless times to put a face to the voice, but it's been a search in vain.

Not tonight.

Tonight, he's gonna see the face for himself and put all his wandering thoughts to rest. Thoughts late at night after a particularly long phone call with his informant, that made him wonder whether the flirting was real or all for show. Wonder whether the woman herself would be as sexy as the voice. And wonder what kind of woman she must be in order to be capable enough to singlehandedly run an entire illegal racing system.

Fuck it, Mingyu thinks, after seeing the clock strike 8.45 and still no contact from your end. He wears a black tank top along with a black leather jacket- intending to fit right into the crowd he expects to see there. He just hopes there's no one else there who'll recognise him. And he certainly hopes nothing will happen to make him regret this decision for life.

_

You're such a fool, Mingyu, he thinks to himself. You're such a fool for thinking you'd fit in.

Mingyu may be just twenty-seven but he doesn't feel young at all when he sees the crowd at the race. The people here must be of his age, but they all seem so different from him. Perhaps it's because his job has taken away his youth that he'll always feel perpetually distant from even people of his own age.

And so Mingyu stands there awkwardly, stiff amidst a crowd of half-drunk and half-high people, wearing colourful headbands and smearing eclectic neon colours on their skin. He feels out of place- and yet, a part of him wishes he could fit in. He wishes he could have enjoyed his youth like this- on the edge of the other side of the law. He wishes he could have lived like this for even moment of his life- beyond academics, beyond career, beyond mere survival.

"Hi beautiful, looking for someone?" A woman with a cigarette between her fingers strolls up to him. Her hair is flying in the wind, exposing the tattoos all over her skin.

Before Mingyu can say anything, the crowd around him suddenly erupts in loud cheers, and she quickly pulls his hand and drags him towards the centre of the entire crowd. He sees two bikers mount on their bikes- exquisitely reworked to glow in the dark. A woman hops up on a platform in the middle of the two bikers and lifts a gun towards the sky. And as the crowd counts down, she shoots the gun right after 1 and the two bikers zoom out into the blackness ahead, the crowd going wild with cheers for the biker they support.

The scene makes Mingyu's skin feel alive too- the sheer speed of the two bikes, the sound of the engines revving and the general merriness around him induces adrenaline to flow through his veins. When he turns to look at the woman next to him, he sees her looking at him with a curious smile on her face. "Umm, I'm... I'm not really here for the race."

"You're not? Layla told me you would be." The smile on her face deepens, and Mingyu gasps. "You know Layla?" "I do. But that's not important. Let's get you on a bike, hmm?" Mingyu's somehow missed to noticed how her hand's still on his arm, gently stroking his bicep over his jacket. "No, really I don't want to." She steps right up close to him, "But you can try once, pretty boy." Her eyelashes cast long shadows on her cheeks, but Mingyu doesn't care. "I don't want to try." "Let loose for one night." "I'm not here for fun. I'm here for work-" The woman in front of his laughs. "Yes Layla said that too. Don't worry, she's going to work. But only after you race against her."

Mingyu feels his heart speed up. Race against Layla? Fuck. Now, why does that sound so tempting? It makes him only more curious to meet his informant, because why must she make herself so mysterious?

"Are you her friend?" Mingyu knows that this woman is not Layla, because the voice doesn't match by miles. This woman here has a lisp in her voice, unlike Layla's clear diction, and no amount of pitch changing or machine alterations can change that (Mingyu knows that the hard way).

"I'm her sister. Well, kind of. Now, no more questions pretty boy. Next race starts in a few minutes. Let's get you on a bike!" And Mingyu finds himself in no position to protest as the woman drags him away without hearing him anymore.

_

In the blink of an eye, Mingyu finds himself on a beautiful beast of a motorbike, his entire body drunk on adrenaline. There's so many people he's never even met before, but they're hyping him up. The attention-whore in him goes crazy at the cheers. There's coloured smoke being released into the sky, and Mingyu wears his helmet to prevent it from clouding his eyes. And finally when the smoke fades away, he sees his opponent standing along side him.

Layla.

Fuck.

Still no face to the voice in his head, but it's still an enigmatic visual that draws Mingyu in and reels his mind. He watches the way her black latex pants hug her long legs as she swings her legs over her bike. And he watches the way her helmet covers her face but her hair's still flying in the air. There's something still mysterious about her, and yet so oddly familiar.

But before he can say or do anything, the crowd begins the countdown, and in a second, the gunshot goes off. And Mingyu zooms ahead, revving his engine from 0 to 100 in a moment, a smile spreading on his face as the excitement of the speed injects itself in his veins. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Layla take a spin around the corner of the racetrack, her stable figure undeterred by the sharp turn. Mingyu may not be a professional, but it's not the first time he's racing. He's done this before and he can feel that familiar thrill returning, as he picks up speed and makes up his mind to defeat his worthy opponent.

It's a long and winding course, but to Mingyu it feels like a few minutes only. The cold night air hits his body and makes him feel like he's flying. Soon the ending flag is in sight, and he sees Layla speed up, hunching over her bike, determined to get there first.

But at the last minute, she steps back, her posture loosening as she sits back and watches Mingyu whizz off ahead of her.

Fuck, he mutters under his breath. Knowing she let him win easily hurts his ego, and he slows the bike down as they drive into the nothingness of the deserted roads ahead. When he finally comes to a stop, he gets off the bike and sees her stand a few metres away from him, her helmet still on her head stretching her legs.

"Hey! Layla! You let me win! I would've won anyway- fair and sq-"

Layla spins around and takes off her helmet, her hair whipping across her face, and Mingyu finally sees the face behind the voice.

_

"Y/N?" Mingyu's eyes are wide, his brain running as fast as his bike was a short while back, as he tries to connect the dots.

The voice is unmistakable, now slightly higher in pitch, and Mingyu wants to kick himself as he realises how big a fool he's been. "We finally meet, Kim Mingyu." There's a beautiful smile on your face, one he's not seen before. There are other things too- there's a nose pin on your button nose, making your features look sharper, and a necklace hanging off your neck, which is odd since he's never seen you wear jewellery before.

"Y/N? H- wh- how?!"

You don't answer him. You simply walk towards him, your hips swaying and Mingyu groans at the sight of your pretty legs in those tight pants. Fuck him for not recognising that ass sooner in spite of being obsessed with it for weeks.

"I thought I should come clean to you, officer, before you make any choices." You casually slot yourself between his legs, as Mingyu leans back against his motorbike. "What do you think?"

What does he think?

He thinks he's a fool for not finding out more about you before falling for you. He thinks he's a fool for maintaining a contact with someone as dangerous as La- you. And he thinks he's a fool for finding you even sexier after discovering this persona of yours.

And he thinks he would be a fool with regrets for all his life if he lets go of you now.

So Mingyu grabs onto your hips, and pulls you closer.

"You've got me by my balls, baby. Got me eating out of your hand. And you know I happen to like it. So it doesn't matter what I think, love. What matters is what you think." His fingers rub against the skin exposed as your crop top rises up as you dangle your hands around his shoulders. You laugh at his words, pressing even closer to him, the air between you two turning to electricity. "It doesn't matter what I think either- because I'd fallen for you ages ago when I first saw you around in town. The new, dashing police officer, Kim Mingyu, enquiring about gangsters and fending himself off prying old ladies at the same time. Since then I've just wanted to make you mine." Mingyu's heart hasn't stopped thumping loudly all night, and at your confession, his body tingles with a dangerous feeling.

"Glad we're on the same page, baby."

_

"This is my office," you whisper to him in between kisses as you drag him to a shady-looking room at the back of the building that's on the edge of the racing circuit, now deserted because everyone's busy at the races. "Office?" Mingyu giggles, because the term is ridiculous. The place is anything but an office- with the way dishevelled boxes are just stacked everywhere, and instead of desks there are more pool tables and boxes of alcohol. It's a small, dingy place, and the single tubelight at the end of the corridor flickers every other minute, but it's a vibe. Mingyu's not unfamiliar with seedy places in his line of work, but it's so novel to think this is where you truly work.

But fuck him if he doesn't think it just makes you hotter. Because there's something about you being the boss of a pack of hundred delinquents associated with even more hardened criminals that makes his dick chub up real quick.

Like it is right now, when your hands make quick work of removing his jacket and throwing it on the floor as you touch his bare muscle. Mingyu carelessly runs a hand through his hair as he sees you push him onto a chair on a desk that's in your office, the room lit only by the mercy of the distant tubelight and the moonlight streaming in through the window panes. "Fuck, you're so big Mingyu. Let me blow you? Please? Wanted to do this for so long." Your eyes are so pretty as you bend in front of him, fingers lazily rubbing into the tent in his pants, making him hiss. "Go on, baby. Whatever you like. Fuck, but kiss me once more."

And you do. You taste like berries, and Mingyu loves it. Mingyu knows he's got it bad, but he doesn't care. You're on your knees and you want to blow him, and if this isn't the mental image to which he's jerked off for days now, he'd be damned. So he pushes you down in between his knees after kissing you to his heart's content, and you quickly take off his pants. "God," you almost drool and Mingyu whimpers when you take off his boxers too. "You're so fucking big, Gyu. Never seen such a big, pretty cock," you say reverently, as you pump it and it twitches in your hands. Your eyes go wide when you lick it and fit your mouth barely against the tip, and Mingyu throws his head back and moans. He's not going to last long, if just this much has got him feeling like this.

Thankfully, you don't tease him much, eager to feel the heavy weight on your tongue too. So you take him as much as your throat allows, and Mingyu feels himself on the brink of heaven. When you bob your head a couple of times, Mingyu reaches down to tug your hair back and you moan around his cock. The vibrations send him over, and he cums into your mouth even as you continue to suck him. When you finally pull off with a pop, another squirt from his dick leaves a string of white cum on your lips and Mingyu feels himself getting hard again.

"That was so hot baby. You're so hot," he says, as he picks you up from the floor and on the desk. It's so easy for him to manhandle you like that, and you pull him close quickly. "You're hotter, Gyu. Can't tell you what fantasies I've had about you in these last few months." Mingyu smirks, his hands removing your beautiful pants, and spreading your thighs apart as he feels his way through your folds. "Umm? Really? Now don't be a bad girl, and tell me what you've thought about me."

You open your mouth to say something but then Mingyu pinches your clit, and any words fall away as you moan out loudly. Your hands steady themselves on his biceps as Mingyu begins to finger you painfully slowly- to the extent that he can hear the squelching sounds, and it drives him crazy.

"Tell me, Y/N."

When your breathing slows down as you feel Mingyu driving two fingers into you at a steady pace, his eyes fixed on yours, biting his lip in concentration, you tell him softly.

"Before I shifted into the flat... I wondered what you'd be like from up close. Because I'd only seen you from afar. And after hearing your v- aaah- voice, it just got worse." You feel Mingyu stretching you, hitting your g-spot repeatedly as he kissed your neck.

"And then when I did shift in... fuck. It was so hard to not give in to you. Whenever you looked at me with your puppy eyes and y- y- your smile- ah, fuck I'm g- gonna cum, Mingyu!" You scream as he fingers you through your orgasm, and he licks his fingers clean once you come down from your high.

"Then who asked you to not give in to me?"

"I wanted to make sure you'd like me in real life and not judge me simply as an informant." Your simple, vulnerable words take his breath away, and Mingyu pulls off your top in one go. "Fuck, you're so cute baby. I'd like you in every form, in every life. You drive me crazy, do you know that?" And Mingyu knows that now, as you hold on to his shoulders as he enters you in one go. "God, you're so tight, Y/N. Tighter than your pretty mouth, fuck." He's trying so hard not to cum right now, but as you grip his hair and moan filthily, a stream of curses falling off your pretty lips, Mingyu lets his adrenaline take over. And he thrusts into you without any hesitance, hips moving fast, his balls heavy as he slams against you again and again. The desk creaks, and you pant in his ears, begging him to go harder, and Mingyu can feel the way your pussy clenches him at every thrust.

"Gonna cum, Gyu. Please-" Your nails dig into his nape, and it drives him over the edge. When you come along with him, there's a sharp buzz spreading through his body and he feels like he's gone to heaven.

He holds you close like that for the next few minutes, unable and uninterested in letting you go. When you both finally feel the high subside, you look up at him, a hazy smile on your face. "I really like you, Gyu. I hope you can like me too beyond who I am in this racing circuit. Trust me, it's.... it's not my entire life. I am a person bey-"

He kisses you quiet. "Stop explaining yourself." You try to protest, but he kisses you again. "You know Y/N, I think I liked you from the first day I met you. And I get what you're saying but... trust me. Fuck. I don't know how to say this. But safe to say if I thought you were amazing as Y/N? I think you're absolutely the epitome of perfection as Y/N plus Layla. So hot, so gorgeous, and I love every bit of you."

And then there's that single-dimpled smile again.

"I also like the nose pin. Why'd you take it off?"

You giggle, "Didn't want it to be a deal-breaker once I had my mind set on you."

Mingyu kisses your nose at the pin itself and you shiver in his arms.

"Nothing about you can be a deal-breaker, baby."

[teal-fiend]

content: f prey, pred pov, unwilling vore, digestion

you're hanging out with your friend, and their friend who you've only just met.

this person is small, maybe the size of a raggedy anne doll. She's not a tiny, but she's a way away from being a regular sized person.

You're feeling a little bit hungry, but when your friend offers you something to eat, you refuse.

and so you talk for a while, the three of you. you learn this new person studies bio, going for a masters, and she does bug taxidermy - you forget what she called it.

it gets a little less awkward as the conversations progress, you get used to each other and then your friend goes off for a bathroom break. leaving the two of you alone.

it's quiet for a moment, something sits in the air.

your stomach lets out a deep, prolonged growl. you excuse yourself. she laughs self-consciously, and tries to say something to you, but you're already on the move.

you act swiftly, and make sure you get her head in your mouth quickly, and by the time she can make a noise, her voice is muffled by your throat.

you feel her struggling with your throat muscles, and it almost activates your gag reflex, but you ignore the ticklish, irritation, and swallow. You have to use some force, as you don't usually get prey this large. You swallow hard, feeling the prey make gradual progress down

there is a very real sinking feeling in your chest. it's immensely satisfying, you take one last big gulp, then you follow the sensation as your hungry stomach is suddenly filled with a bounty of a meal.

You can watch as your belly swells out as the prey finds itself at it's last destination.

you look down at your mid-section curiously. If you tighten your core, you can make your body look relatively non-suspicious. Just a bit of an outward curve. But if you relax, it's easier to see how full you look.

You look pretty stuffed. Like you've just had a big dinner. You feel your belly cutting into your pants, which now feels too tight.

you look over to the empty chair where your prey was sitting before you decided to eat. Her jacket is still on it, and her bag is still on the floor. You belch loudly, it catches you by surprise.

You don't really know where to go from here. it was a spur of the moment decision. You feel the person kicking your gut, which is a funny feeling. you've never had prey so big - usually it's barely perceptible, but this is noticeable. It doesn't hurt, but you can definitely feel when she tries striking your stomach walls.

watching carefully, you can notice your belly move on it's own, as she pushes against your skin. You notice lumps and slight bulges appearing and she moves inside your stomach. You laugh quietly at the realisation. you've never been able to actually see your prey wriggling in your gut before. it's kind of satisfying, or engaging. but it's also a bit much; you've never had food that puts such a strain on your stomach.

you scratch your belly, thinking about it. it's kind of uncomfortable, how full you feel. You feel a little groggy, maybe a nap would help.

you run your hands over your stomach, feeling how taut it is through your shirt. Yes, time to rest, and get all this digested.

You lie down on you friend's couch, and rest your hands on your tummy, feeling the prey's body just under your skin, and feeling the grumbling of your stomach as it gets to work.

--

Your friend comes back in, apologising for taking so long

they start to say "hey, where's (x)?" but they stop when they see you up close.

as you turn over to get up, your stomach sloshes and gurgles, you burp again.

"I thought you said you weren't hungry"

"I wanted to have room," you explain, as you pat your full stomach.

your friend is probably mad at you, but you feel smug about the situation. You know they'll understand - you can't help your instincts, and they shouldn't have left a predator alone with a perfectly edible prey.

"I thought you two were getting along"

You shrug, "eh..."

your friend mutters something under their breath, frustrated. but you just yawn, stretching your arms above your head, feeling the contents of your stomach bubble as you move.

"okay, time for you to go home."

You try to make them feel bad for kicking you out, but they don't seem to care. You find yourself on their doorstep. it's cold outside, but your full belly will keep you warm. You sigh and start your walk home. walking is good for digestion, at least. probably for the best.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Assuming the farmer has social anxiety and they're really scared of approaching the towns people when they first moved in (except Lewis and Robin because it was practically forced interaction lol), how do you think the towns people approach the farmer or how long does it take for the farmer to approach them? Sorry if this sounds like a lot, you can write anything and any length 🥹🥹

Hey, dear anon 👋 Thanks for your ask ❤️

The question is quite interesting, by the way. I decided to write about all the residents of the Valley, so I apologise that the answer took so long. Anyway, enjoy!

How quickly the townspeople become friends with the shy Farmer:

Oh, the new farmer decided to visit the Saloon after all? Let them sit down, then. Gus noticed that the shy Farmer came here to meet new people, but they was still afraid even to address Gus himself and ordered dinner, sitting at the farthest table. He would be quite cautious and very polite to Farmer. However, you won't get a long conversation - other customers are waiting. So the Farmer will have to try their luck at friendship with Gus after hours. Considering his good-naturedness, it won't be difficult even for Farmer.

In Shane's case, a man who has no desire to get to know the new residents of this town (he hardly interacts with the locals either, except for his aunt and niece and maybe Sam) the time to get to know each other will be quite long. A year or more. It's going to be very slow, and most likely Farmer themself needs to make the first step towards friendship.

Clint didn't really care who it was that had come to their forgotten little town, which for some unknown reason he had also been brought to. The local blacksmith was hardly sociable, rather the opposite, a perpetually sullen and shy pessimist. Therefore, he will not actively seek acquaintance and friendship with Farmer. So the young grower of various crops needs to make the first step. It is better to start with amethysts, they are easier to get.

Given that Harvey is a rather good-natured and patient man, and also wants to maintain a good relationship with his patients, it doesn't matter who makes the first move - both Farmer and Harvey will quickly find common ground. A month, maybe a little less.

Grandma Evelyn will welcome Farmer with open arms. Having learned from Lewis that the new Farmer is very shy, she will be the first to start a dialogue and do everything she can to make her old friend's grandchild feel at home in the Valley. About from delicious baked goods sent in the mail, or simple greetings in the main square as she tends to the flowers. Even the shyest of people will want to make friends with her, such a sweet Granny!

Farmer doesn't have to worry about introducing themself to the strange man who lives in a high tower far from Pelican Town - Rasmodius is already the first to write a letter and the first to start a conversation when the youth crosses the threshold of his domain. Passionate more in the knowledge about the mystical 'Junimo', the Wizard pays no heed to Farmer's faint attempts to get to know him better. Maybe later, when he has some time free from magical research. He's not overly social, and he often speaks in riddles, but still quite a nice person. Albeit a bit odd, but in a year's time he can be called an unusual friend.

To be honest, in the Spring Year 1 Alex will first try to start a dialogue with the newcomer, but he will quickly lose interest and may not even remember the existence of Farmer at all. And if they do have a small dialogue, Alex is unlikely to remember it. The first step will be made by him, and taking into account that the young athlete will most often praise himself as a future sports star, the conversation will be... so-so. It will take a lot of time and Farmer's patience for Alex to reveal himself to be the real deal, not the boastful brat.

Like her regular dance partner at the Flower Festival, Haley doesn't seem to notice Farmer's presence at all, with only her sister constantly buzzing in her ear that someone has arrived in Pelican Town and settled on the old farm. Straightforward, sometimes tactless in her comments about the appearance of Farmer, and flippant - many who do not know Haley intimately will not have the best first impression. So it will take a lot of time (and self-control) to get to know her better.

Demetrius, preoccupied with his experiments, would not impose his acquaintance on the newcomer, only make polite introductions and inform them that his daughter also wanted to welcome Farmer. Stuck in his notes or constantly in the lab, Farmer will have to try a little harder to draw the scientist's attention to themself and make a friendly conversation. In principle, a few attempts during half a year - and they will quickly find a common language.

With Abigail, it would depend on her mood. Some days she will take a interest in the Farmer, ask questions and slowly become buddies. However, there are days when a fight with her parents or something else makes her mad, and the purple-haired girl can bark at Farmer in such a way that they have no desire to communicate further. But she is quite friendly, so friendship with her will start after a few months, and she will be the initiator.

Oh, Penny... Two very shy people who have exchanged greetings, and now stand in silence, absolute awkward silence... But interestingly, they will become friends pretty quickly, the key is to find a small interesting topic (Farmer will probably talk first) and the conversation will develop into another conversation, and another, and another. And *poof* - friendship!

Emily saw Farmer for the first time and was immediately like - instant mutuals. She feels Farmer's aura, the little sparks in their eyes, and realises they are going to be best friends! The girl will often invite Farmer to her house for tea, or to show her new outfits she has sewn. Maybe if they want to, she'll make something nice for them too? She is easy to get along with, and in a month Emily and Farmer will be besties!

Marlon is a man of few word, and not to say that he actively seeks friendship with the people of the Valley. He is a lone wolf by nature, and the only friend he can name is Gil, who, by the way, is also a man of few word. On the other hand, if Farmer feels uncomfortable with so many people in Pelican Town, Guild and two old adventurers will warmly welcome Farmer to their cosy base, treat them to campfire soup and share tales. So slowly but surely the friendship of the two older guild members with the youngest will form.

Grumpy, distrustful of new faces, a bit rude - George definitely wouldn't be called a conversation buddy. And he certainly wouldn't interrupt his favourite TV show to have a chat with the new Farmer. He's not trying to be rude on purpose, no. It's just that due to his advanced age he can be impatient, so the Farmer will have to be patient and make the first move to talk. Six or eight months is about enough time for George to trust them.

Jas and Vincent will behave completely opposite to each other: while Sam's younger brother needs only a few snails or a piece of pink cake to call the Farmer his best friend, Jas will be more wary, remembering that Aunt Marnie and Uncle Shane always said not to talk to strangers. However, if the shy farmer finds a common language with Marnie or Shane first, then Jas herself will take a step towards friendship. With Vincent it will be about a couple of months, for Jas longer, but they will soon understand that the Farmer is quite a good person and not boring adult.

Well, it's safe to say that it was Farmer who was the first to strike up a dialogue and friendship with Leo. The boy is very shy on his own, but parrot friends are his friends, so slowly but surely he and Farmer become friends. I would give it a year for Leo to fully trust Farmer.

Gunther is in the library most of the time, so the introduction only happened with Farmer when they brought an interesting artefact. Not to say that the museum keeper wants to be friends with them that much, but if they don't mind being pals - then Gunther won't say no. Or conversely, if the Farmer feels uncomfortable and too shy, he'll leave them alone. If Farmer is so interested, then let them visit Gunther more often, he has many interesting stories, and they'll become pals in no time.

Oh, a human? Here in the sewers? Please don't be frightened by Krobus, he's completely harmless, he'll even sell you interesting goods. Friendship? Oh, well, it can get very lonely in here. The Farmer's not going to harm Krobus, correct? Then, shall we be friends? Also polite and shy, Farmer and Krobus will quickly find common ground.

With her aerobics club, Caroline knows how difficult and scary it can be to get to know a new community. Some fit right in with their little group right away, some took a little more time. So Caroline will endeavour to make the atmosphere in her husband's shop as welcoming as possible for Farmer, just so they don't feel uncomfortable. 3-4 months of small conversations - and, well, a friendship began.

Caroline's husband, Pierre, on the other hand... Well, he'll be the first to engage in dialogue, that's for sure. Except that he sees Farmer first as a potential customer who needs to be wooed with tempting discounts on seeds and a friendly atmosphere so that they will definitely only buy from his shop. If Yoba has gifted the Farmer with universal patience, then they can try to bond with Pierre as buddies, at least, and not just as buyer/seller.

To Farmer's great regret, Morris is even worse than Pierre..... Social anxiety? No anxiety, because discounted merchandise at JojaMart will save the Farmer all the trouble! Marketing from Yoba, for crying out loud... If for some reason Farmer decided to give the chance to be friends with Morris, they'd have to try their best to talk to the perpetually busy manager of a huge company about something unrelated to that very company.

Willy is your man! Even if Farmer isn't too interested in fishing, the old sailor can still quickly become a good friend for a shy newcomer in Stardew Valley. Silently fishing, telling tales of his fishing adventures or just a little conversation - good-natured enough, he will become a good friend in as little as two or three months.

Heh, If a Farmer kid puts a free mug of cold beer next to Pam, she will already call them a friend! Ha ha! Eh, don't mind her, she's just kidding. But seriously, if you want Pam's favour, it would be a good idea to start with ale or beer, and then you can get to know her. If the poor shy Farmer is against alcohol, they could fill Pam up with a mountain of her favourite parsnips - and in one spring they'll be besties!

Sebastian is not what you would call an outgoing personality or conversation buddy, so Farmer needs to be the first to strike up a dialogue with the local emo. Sebby himself is also shy, and it takes quite a while for the first step towards friendship. Six to nine months, maybe a little sooner if Farmer and Sebby are in the company of Abby and Sam. You find friendship faster in a collective somehow.

Oh, there they are! The cause of much discussion and various rumours in Pelican Town over the last week! Oh, no no, nothing bad has been said. Elliott was just intrigued and eager to meet the new Farmer who had come from the big city to seek happiness in the Valley. He's only recently arrived too, you know. But the writer realises that moving to another place is tiring, and meeting a new community can be a bit scary. So when the Farmer is the first to give the sign, Elliott is happy to talk about his life and ask about the life of the new Farmer. Five months is enough time to build a strong friendship.

Although Leah lives alone in her cottage near the forest, the red-haired artist doesn't mind guests at all. So she is very welcoming to the new Farmer, who is trying to get over their nervousness and get to know all the residents. A big bonus if during their stay at Leah's house the Farmer decides to treat the her to some wild mushrooms or vegetables they've managed to grow on their farm. In a couple of months, the two neighbours will become real friends, constantly exchanging forest gifts and interesting stories.

If the Farmer loves animals, they already have Marnie as a friend. Always cheerful and optimistic - the new Farmer will quickly find common ground with her. Of course, she needs to get to know them better before selling her favourite animals, but she can already let the Farmer pet her favourite goats or cows if they are feeling stressed by their new acquaintances. Affectionate animals will immediately calm and cheer up the Farmer, + 10 point to building friendship with Marnie. Be an honest and decent person, don't forget to respect the animals, and then you'll become Marnie's friend in a few months.

Oh, Jodi had time to discuss with her friends all the rumours about the new Farmer who had arrived in the Valley. And the rumours were naturally different from reality, because Jodi hadn't expected them to be so shy. Oh well, everyone is different. She doesn't mind chatting to Farmer sometimes, but doesn't actively seek friendship, as she has so much to do around the house!

As for Kent... It's pretty complicated here. Tired and exhausted, he's trying to get away from all the horrors he's been through, and although he was the first to greet Farmer at the start of Year Two, he's not going to chase after Farmer and offer friendship. Kent is... trying to come round. So it may take Farmer more than a year to bond with him and let him remember that before he left Pelican Town, he had and has, in addition to a loving family, friends- old friends, and a new one too!

Oh, oh, oh! And Maru was just looking for the newly arrived Farmer to meet! New people in a small town are always interesting, so the young inventor doesn't miss the opportunity to introduce herself, not forgetting to recommend that they also introduce themselves to her parents and half-brother. Will gladly listen to the Farmer, or have no problem leaving them alone if they are still too shy and trying to get used to the local community. Three months is enough time for the two of them to hang out in the lab and discuss different topics like a nerds.

Please don't think that Linus is a rude and cold person, he is not. It's just that people's scepticism towards him and his chosen lifestyle has made Linus behave very cautiously around strangers. Though Stardew Valley villagers are more kind than in other places, caution never hurts. Farmer has to be patient to gain friendship with a wild man who happens to be very learned, kind and wise. But they will know this only when the Farmer gets to know Linus better, and that will take at least six months.

Oh, they moved in already? Sam heard that someone new is coming to the old farm. The musician doesn't mind new faces in the Valley at all, as this could be a potential friend to hang out with. Considering he's always chilling and a real soul of the company, it's easy to make a friendship with him right away. He has the personality of a golden retriever.

If Farmer isn't a spy of the Shadow People, then Dwarf doesn't mind getting to know each other at all. It's been a long time since he's talked to humans, and he has so many important questions that interest him so much (about milk, for example). Quite a bit surprised when the conversation makes the Farmer nervous and says they're shy. Well, they were the ones who broke through the rubble-filled passage to the cave with their pickaxe, so it's too late to be shy. And there's no arguing about it. As with the Clint, a mountain of amethysts is a guarantee of friendship with the Dwarf, so in four months he'll stop suspecting them of espionage. But it's not certain.

Wonderful! Robin and Lewis are pleased that, despite their shyness, the new Farmer has found common ground with some of the people of Stardew Valley already. Robin, by the way, thought she and the town mayor maybe had gone a little overboard by practically forcing their acquaintance on the poor Farmer, but she's glad it all ended well. And Lewis is just glad that their little community has been enriched with another resident.

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Hey, I wanna request a prompt for a fic. I hope that's okay with you, if it's not then that's fine.

Anyways, I'd like numbers 13 and 15, and letters a,f,g, from the dialogue prompt list. Basically, reader hides injury until they inevitably collapse. Reader also refuses to accept help from wandanat.

I hope you find the time to write it, if its not too much to ask.

Please and thank you. Au revoir!

Stupidly Stabbed

Pairings: Wandanat x R (eventual)

Prompt: 13, 15, A, F, G

Word count: 1.4K

Summary: After avoiding nat and wanda, you all get sent on a mission together. What happens when you suddenly need them?

TW: Injury, getting stabbed, hiding injuries, angst (with happy ending), hate, fainting (kinda), stitches, injury, jealousy

A/n hope i got this right for you :)

The mission was going ok. You had only been on the team for a year, and despite how much you wanted to you hadn’t gotten to know them. the power couple that is. Wanda and Natasha. they were perfect. beautiful and smart. too bad they were both taken. by each-other no less.

you couldn’t help your trailing gazes when they left rooms. or the way your heart clenched when they snuck little gestures of affection. over the past two weeks it had been too much. it hurt too much. you loved them. it was simple. you had actively began to avoid them. getting your morning coffee when Natasha was training and Wanda was still sleeping. you sat furthest from them in team meetings. this hadn’t gone unnoticed by the redheads. unbeknownst to you they also had their eyes on you. both of them.

as your mind wandered your steps faltered as a hydra agent landed a hit with the blade of his knife. you had kicked his gun away from his before he could use it. the pain ignited in your side and you mentally chastised yourself. you couldn’t get injured. the team would be mad. they would be worried. the redheads. you grabbed his wrist bending it and flipping him. with a carefully targeted kick to the head he was out. not enough to kill him but enough to give a nasty concussion.

limping slightly as nobody was around you hurried back to the jet. Wanda and Natasha appeared on the edge of the clearing a bit later. Wanda covering them as they took heavy fire. Wanda was bleeding from a cut above her eyebrow as nat quickly went to the cockpit to take off. Wanda kept the hydra agents away as nat piloted away. you noticed a blast of red as you flew away and realised that Wanda had brought the building down on the rest of the hydra agents.

Wanda shot you an odd look as you picked at the hem of your suit.

“y/n?” she asked.

“y-yes?” you said looking up startled.

“i asked if you were ok?” she said looking concerned. you bit your tongue fighting back the urge to tell her about the gash that ran down the side of your ribs. you could feel the sticky red blood running under your suit.

“yeah I’m fine. you should probably have that cut taken care of though.” you waved dismissively.

“i’ll do it” nat said walking back in as she put JARVIS in control of the jet.

“sit here love.” nat said patting the seat before she went to collect the supplies. your heart fluttered at the words even if they weren’t directed at you.

Wanda sat eyeing you carefully. nat returned to her side apologising as Wanda winced at the sting of the alcohol on the cotton-ball nat pressed to the cut.

“sorry love. but we cant have it getting infected.” nat rummaged around again looking for something as Wanda looked at you again.

“your looking a bit pale love are you feeling alright, come here.” Wanda said and patted the spot beside her twice.

“i-im fine. r-really” you said wincing as you stuttered.

“please?” she asked and you caved. the pain only seemed to intensify as you stood as the world spun and dipped around you.

“Y/n?” Wanda asked as you swayed dangerously. but it sounded like she was underwater. “nat grab her.” Wanda said as nat spun to grab you as you finally blacked out.

“Y/N!” Wanda yelled as nat carefully pulled you into her chest before lowering you to the floor. nat elevated your legs to get the blood back to your brain. Wanda knelt by your head. hands tangling in your hair as she used a manicured finger to gently tap your cheek.

“y/n. y/n/n love. come back to us.” she said her brow creased in worry for you.

after a few moments your eyes fluttered and Wanda stopped tapping your cheek, instead cupping your face with her hand and running her thumb over your cheekbone.

“there we go love. come back to us. slowly now. thats a good girl.” Wanda said softly as nat carefully lowered your legs back down.

you winced at the movement and Natasha noticed it. Wanda however didn’t.

gently she continued stroking your cheek “this cant be new, love how long have you felt sick?” she asked softly.

“‘m n’t s’ck” you slurred.

“oh honey you just passed out, love theres something wrong.” Wanda said still knelt by you on the floor.

“shes right wands. shes not sick.” Natasha said looking mildly annoyed. “shes injured. look.” nat pointed to the red smear of blood on the floor from where you had moved. Wanda froze for a second.

“nat grab the first aid kit and prep the bed.” Wanda said taking on her offical mission voice. “y/n/n, love, keep your eyes open for me. thats it your doing so well for me my sweet.” Wanda said carefully scooping you off the floor. gently she placed you down on the medical bed towards the back.

“love, lie still for me now we need to get you out of this suit to assess the damage.” Wanda cooed as you pouted still only half there. nat carefully used a pair of medical scissors to cut down the side of your suit. on any other day you would have flushed as you laid there in your sports bra with the fabric pushed down to your waist. Wanda sucked a breath as the sight of the wound. it was long but luckily not too deep. nat could stitch it up now and with some proper care and antibiotics from bruce you would be ok. what worried her most was they you had passed out. blood loss was no joke.

“y/n/n y/n/n stay with me love.” Wanda said tapping your cheek again while her other hand held yours. nat gave you some pain medicine before she motioned for Wanda to distract you as she began to stitch you up.

“your doing so well love. so so well for us my sweet girl.” Wanda cooed and lent over you to look into your glossy eyes. after nat finished Wanda pressed a bottle of water to your lips.

“slow sips love. you lost a fair bit of blood. can you drink this for me?” she asked and you took some small sips. “good girl. I’m so proud of you.” she cooed and you winced, shuffling over and patting the spot beside you. she hesitated but sat down. you shuffled into her arms and began playing with some of her hair that fell in your face.

“your so pretty wands. you and your girlfriend are both so so pretty.” Wanda could tell you were still on a-lot of pain meds but she knew you were sincere. suddenly it clicked.

“y/n?”

“yes angel?” you replied and Wanda blushed.

“have you been avoiding nat and I because you like us?” she said. you merely hummed in agreement and snuggled further into her chest. nat had gone to pilot the jet to land. Wanda’s heart did backflips as you pressed your face into her stomach.

“think your both amazing, i didn’t like being left out. wanted to be with you both too.” you said and Wanda cooed. nat came back to join her and Wanda scooped you up.

“i’ll go give a report to fury, take her to her room.” nat said disappearing down the ramp before Wanda could stop her. you shuffled in her arms whining slightly before settling, your eyes still closed. Wanda held you close as she passed you door, taking you to her and Natasha’s room instead. all you felt when you woke up the next day were two sets of strong arms around you and a soft bed beneath you. that was before you felt the pain in your side and let out a whine that sent both redheads to find you pain medicine. you would be alright. your girls were never letting you get injured again. after all that night they became officially yours and you became theres.

MASTERLIST

[raplinesmoon]

Après Moi, Le Deluge (JHS x F!Reader)

pairing: Hoseok x afab!reader genres/au/rating: angst, smut, some fluff, mafia au, sort of arranged marriage au, exes au, 18+ summary: It was one night. One night where Hoseok sought refuge from the storm outside, from the life he led, from the past that haunted him. And where else does fate lead him but back into your arms?

word count: 8.2k

warnings: the mafia, mentions minor character death, cursing, smoking, alcohol use, use of weapons, strained relationships with parents, mental health issues, mentions threats against people Hoseok cares about, brief, non-graphic depiction of blood and injuries, breakups, makeups, a cameo by one Xu Minghao, Hoseok and OC are both very closed off and bad at communicating, Hoseok is lowkey an asshole for most of this, happy-ish ending, smut warnings: making out, fingering (fem receiving), nipple play, unprotected sex, marking, teeny bit of cockwarming

a/n: Hello it is me, profusely apologising because there is no reason this should have taken this long to write, other than I had the worst case of writer's block ever, but I missed Hoseok and I needed to see this through. This fic is set in the same universe as Doom Boy, my Namjoon mafia fic! You don't necessarily have to read Doom Boy to read this, but it may help some of the moments mentioned here make sense! The title is a reference to a famous saying by King Louis XV of France, or if you're me, season 1 episode 11 of The Originals. I hope you all enjoy &lt;3

listen to the playlist here!

The rain slams down on the pavement, rendering the soles of Hoseok’s shoes even more sodden than they’d previously been. A cold, sticky feeling settles across his spine, and he heaves for breath, wishing he could just stop and take a break. But he can’t. He has to keep moving. Resisting the urge to shiver and warm himself up, he rounds the corner.

The day had started off normal enough. Hoseok had been assigned patrol duty for the day by Namjoon, a task he was more than familiar with. After the collapse of the Kim empire and his father’s death, Namjoon had returned to clean up the family business. And he was doing a damn good job at it, training the younger ones like Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook in how to run a business.

But there was more to this than a business, and Namjoon knew that well enough. Someone had to be around to air out the dirty laundry, to clean up the streets. And who better for the job than Hoseok? 

He was used to it anyway, more comfortable around knives and guns than he’d ever been around people who weren’t Namjoon, Yoongi, or Seokjin. It was partly the reason he’d been sent out tonight, to monitor the slimy activities that took place under the cover of night. 

Yet sometimes, the downpour got the best of Hoseok. He hadn’t been expecting the Choi cronies to spot him, much less for them to be armed. Luckily they were as thick-skulled as Hoseok expected them to be, and he’d been able to craft a quick escape. For the time being.

But it wouldn’t last for long. Hoseok knew the men would be on his tail all night, and as much as he wanted to call for backup, he didn’t feel like bothering Namjoon, Yoongi, or their families, at this time of night. He wouldn’t have had a problem bothering Seokjin, but that fucker had run the moment he’d shot up Namjoon’s father. 

Looking around, he falters. The buildings around him loom ominously, stretching much taller than he’s used to, the lights from the highest floors creating artificial stars against the cloudy backdrop of the sky. Hoseok gathers that he must be in the swanky part of town. He scoffs, knowing from personal experience the rich were no better than the mobs and gangs they pretended to look down upon, licking at their bootstraps whenever the necessity arose.

Still, he decides it’s better to take cover. He spots the sleeping security guard from outside one of the buildings, and slips in, shaking the raindrops from his hair. Making his way to the elevators at the end of the lobby, his mind ran with plans of how he’d clean up the mess with the Choi men in a way that Namjoon would approve of. 

Which is why he misses the other person entering the elevator at the same time as him, instead collapsing against the railing and letting out a loud sigh, rubbing at his eyes.

“H-Hoseok?” the voice that calls out to him is quiet, barely above a whisper. But its familiarity sends a chill down Hoseok’s spine. It’s a voice he thought he’d never hear again.

His eyes open slowly, and he sees his shocked reflection mirrored in the ones directly across from him, eyes that he’d never been able to forget. The way they look at him now is the same way they’d been the last time he saw you, on a similarly cloudy day.

The eyes of his former fiancée.

The doors of the elevator screech shut, the sound doing nothing to drown out the pounding of your heart. The soft tiny plops of raindrops echo on the grey floor, falling from Hoseok’s hair as he freezes at the sound of your voice.

You suck in a breath, lungs desperately searching for air, unable to squeak out anything beyond his name. Brows furrowing, you check him for any signs of injury, relieved when you find nothing but his blank eyes blinking back at you. You didn’t have to ask him where he’d been tonight. Both of you already knew.

It infuriates you that even after everything, after all this time, he still manages to have this effect on you. You hate how you can’t take your eyes off the lean curve of his neck, or the tiny mole above his heart-shaped smile.

A chill runs down your spine, despite having never stepped foot out in the rain. 

“Why are you…” your throat feels heavy, struggling to get the words out, to ask him why he ended up here of all places. Especially when you made it clear you never wanted to see him again after the last time.

“Choi’s men were tailing me, I had to get them off my back,” he barks, immediately regretting his harsh tone when he looks into your weary eyes, on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry,” he adds on, more gently this time. “If I’d have known, I would never…”

Never what? Never managed to infiltrate the one place you thought you could be free of him, from the past the two of you shared?

Your shoulders slump against the panel, and you realize you’d never pressed the button to go up, too consumed by his presence. Finally managing to muster up the focus, you turn away, hearing the elevator creak to life.

“You’re always sorry. How can I be sure that this time, you mean it?”

Hoseok is annoyed. First of all, this damn elevator is taking nearly too long to go anywhere, and he longs for escape from this metallic box that’s imprisoning you both. Second of all, your words cut at him, sharper than any knife and hotter than any bullet any of Choi’s men could have sent his way tonight.

As far as he remembers, you’d been the one to end it. You’d been the one to walk away from your arrangement.

He doesn’t know why he grits his teeth, biting down to combat the throbbing pain in his temples. You were supposed to be gone, your goodbye delivered in the same way the designer bags and packages piled up at your doorstep - neat, polished, shallow, the ties that had brought you together unraveling before they’d even had a chance to be joined properly. 

Unfinished business. That’s what you were. And Hoseok hated unfinished business. But somehow, he’d never managed to hate you. You’d never given him a fair chance.

. . .

Hoseok shrugged the wife beater over his head with a grunt, immediately turning around to see if he’d woken up his sleeping companion, but she remained unfazed, her soft snores echoing into the pillow. 

He lets his eyes linger over her body appreciatively one last time before he slips on his leather jacket and is out the door. For a brief moment, his hand twitches, yearning to reach into his pocket and call Namjoon for old times’ sake, detailing every last detail of his lascivious romp. The thought is abandoned immediately, Hoseok’s mood souring at the thought of his former best friend. Namjoon had no trouble leaving all of them behind, so why should he even bother? Instead, he reaches into his other pocket, his frenzied emotions finally calming down when he pulls out the lighter. Ducking under an awning, he checks his surroundings for anything suspicious before affirming that the coast is clear, lighting up and taking a drag. The smoke drifts away on the nighttime breeze, and Hoseok follows, roaming the city streets. 

It’s lonely at this hour, not another soul in sight, but Hoseok prefers it that way. Gone are the days when he and his friends would run through the city, stealing cars and honking horns at everyone for fun. Now, shit had hit the fan big time, and there was no room for fun anymore. With Namjoon gone, Hoseok, along with Seokjin and Yoongi, had been sucked into the tangled web of duties he’d left behind, each stepping up in their own way.

Holding a gun in his hands for the first time had been a sobering experience for Hoseok. It rattled him that if he pressed down on the trigger, so many things could change in a split second. He’d heard the higher-ups in the organization rave with glee about how much fun it was putting the city’s other families in line, Namjoon’s father at the head of them. And for a brief moment, Hoseok understood what it was that Namjoon had run away from. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still pissed off about it though. 

His lips turn up in a smile when he takes in the graffiti on the building in front of him, thinking back to his younger, more rebellious self, before faltering. Someone else was there. 

He wonders if you’re cold, the thin satin gown doing nothing to protect you from the chill, and he wants to laugh at the contrast between his well-worn leather jacket and the jewels dripping from your ears. They must cost a few thousands of dollars, money he’d never had in his pocket. His eyes scan around for someone, anyone – a boyfriend, or a husband maybe. But you’re alone.

Nobility has never been Hoseok’s forte - Namjoon and Seokjin had always been the womanizers, and poor Yoongi had been in love with the same woman for over ten years, but he clears his throat, prompting you to turn around, eyes widening at your company.

If he catches a glimpse of unshed tears in your eyes, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Kids these days, huh? They’ll do anything to cause a little chaos,” he quips, a sinking feeling building up in his chest when you don’t respond.

“Ma’am,” he grapples with whether he should ask for your name, “do you need me to walk you home?”

“Did you read it?” your voice is quieter than he expects, yet he draws closer, wanting to hear more of it. Coming to stand beside you, he takes in the captivating features of your face, made all the more alluring by the shadows cast across them.

Following your gaze, he looks at the mural on the wall. A giant wave, Hosukai-style, crashing into a set of words. “After me, the flood,” your voice whispers, and Hoseok feels a rush of emotion at the way you say it, his mind circling back to everything that had happened in the past few years - the dark cloud that had settled over all their lives with Namjoon leaving, the city’s underbelly coming to life, crawling out of the woodwork. 

“I have to go,” you interrupt him, heels clacking against the pavement, before Hoseok’s gaze turns sharply on you, the desperation in his eyes begging you not to go. Come sunrise, he’d be forced back into the same grim routine, but right now, it felt nice, standing here with you.

“Will you be okay getting home alone?” he asks, grappling for any chance to prolong the moment.

“My driver is around the corner,” you tell him. “Thank you for keeping me company, –”

“Hoseok,” he fills you in, his chest aching with the desire to ask for your own name, but you’re already gone.

. . .

Hoseok wakes up the next morning to the rattling of the blinds, the sunlight causing him to immediately shut his eyes and bite back a groan. There was only one person who’d have access to his apartment at this hour – and exploit it.

“Eomma?” he rasps, burrowing his head further into the sheets. “What are you doing here?”

“Did you forget Hoseok-ah? Hurry up and get dressed, everyone’s waiting! You have five minutes.”

Forget what? His mother’s fussing continues in the background as she leafs through his closet, no doubt trying to find him a suitable outfit amongst the many pairs of ripped denim and oversized shirts he prefers on a day-to-day basis. Hoseok wracks his brain, trying to remember what could have called for such an occasion, but comes up empty, his mother’s stern warning echoing in his ears. 

As per usual, if it had anything to do with the organization, he’d do best not to ignore it.

Slipping on the stark white shirt and tie she’d chosen, the fabric itches against his skin, and he rakes his fingers through his hair, attempting to comb the mess into something somewhat presentable. He’s sure there was little to be done about the bags under his eyes, and the faint smell of tobacco emanating from him, and hoped that whoever these important guests were, they wouldn’t catch onto his late-night activities from the previous day. 

Stumbling into the hallway, Hoseok hears the faint chatter of voices, his father’s bellowing laugh a stark contrast to his mother’s delicate titter, and is immediately confused. Conversations with the bosses of the organization weren’t usually so… enthusiastic. 

When he rounds the corner to his living room, he stops in his tracks. Sitting next to his mother and father is another older couple he doesn’t recognize. They reek of wealth that his family could never even imagine, he notes, the polished Italian leather of the man’s shoes and the older woman’s massive diamond ring speaking for themselves. But he could honestly care less. Because to their left side, sitting on his favorite armchair, is you. The woman from in front of the mural. You’re clad in a simple sundress today, but you still manage to be nothing short of breathtaking against the backdrop of the sun’s rays. 

“There you are, Hoseok!” his father beckons him over jovially, but Hoseok remains frozen. “This is Mr. and Mrs. ____, and their daughter ____.”

Hoseok’s turns his gaze to his father, watching him recoil at the sharpness present in his son’s expression, a thousand unspoken questions lingering on his lips as to why these people were here, what purpose they had in his home, his space.

“We’d like for the two of you to get to know each other,” your mother speaks up with a smile so wide, he’d assume it’d been plastered onto her face. 

“Why?” he finally manages to whistle out in between grit teeth, looking only at you. But you don’t meet his eyes. Instead, your gaze is looking out his window, at the city beyond, the same loneliness from last night ever present in your eyes. 

“Because,” his father continues uncertainly, fidgeting the glass of wine in his hands, “___ is going to be your wife.”

You can feel Hoseok’s eyes glaring into the back of your head as he follows you wordlessly down the hallway. Moments pass before you come to a stop outside your apartment, and you hear the faint stumble of Hoseok’s boots as he stops unexpectedly in his tracks. His warm breath fans against the back of your neck for a brief moment before he straightens with a grunt, and you resist the urge to shiver, despite having never stepped foot into the rain.

The lock clicks, and he follows you inside. You can hear him rustle behind you as he struggles to remove his coat and boots, but you look straight ahead, hoping the darkness can hide how your fingernails are digging into your palm. 

“I won’t stay long,” his low voice breaks the silence. “Just until the storm passes.”

“Please,” you manage to muster up your most polite sounding voice. “Have a seat. I can get you something, maybe some water, o-or a cup of tea…” 

You want to curse your voice for wobbling in his presence, hating the way he still affected you even after all this time apart. Your brain bades you to walk away instinctively, and so you pad into the kitchen, wanting to put distance in between you and Hoseok so he can’t hear the rapid fluttering of your heart. The noise pounds in your ears as you rattle around in the cupboards, cursing when you realized you’d forgotten to turn on the light. It seemed embarrassing to do it now, and so you reach aimlessly, looking for some coffee. 

The pot bubbles, and in mere moments, you’re clutching two steaming mugs, finding your way back onto the living room. Hoseok has settled himself onto your couch, taking extra care not to rest his soaked shirt against the back of it, instead hunched over and dangling an unlit cigarette from his fingertips.

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you’d be okay with me…” he gestures to it, twirling it around in his fingers. “I know you don’t like the smell.”

You’re unsure whether to be touched that he remembers, or uneasy at the way he says it so monotonously, as if you’d still judge him for something so mundane when so much else had happened in between you.

“Here,” you set down the coffee in front of him, taking the seat directly opposite. “It’ll help take the edge off.”

The warm liquid burns your throat as you rush to take a sip, and you nearly sputter trying to keep it down. Over the rim of your cup, Hoseok remains frozen, his own mug steaming and untouched. His dark eyes bore into you, studying your face, and you feel your cheeks begin to burn.

If he notices the bags under your eyes, he says nothing. The same way he says nothing when he probably remarks at your simplistic clothes and lack of jewelry, a far cry from the expensive dresses and diamonds he’d been used to seeing you in. 

“Were you about to go out?” Hoseok asks, and the question catches you off guard. “I’m sorry if I stopped you from going somewhere.”

“Or meeting someone.” The last part is a hushed whisper, mumbled underneath his breath, in the hopes that you wouldn’t catch him. But you had. You wish he’d stop apologizing. It makes you feel guilty when you shouldn’t be, like he’s trying and you’re shutting him out, when in reality it’d been the exact opposite. 

All of a sudden, your phone buzzes to life, a text message lighting up the screen. You freeze when you see who it’s from, quickly snatching your phone and cursing in your head. Minghao was a friend of a friend, the two of you running into each other a number of times over the past couple of weeks, before he’d finally plucked up the courage to ask you for a coffee date.

You’d told him you’d think about it, and now here he was, lighting up your phone to ask you about your decision. Of course, how was he supposed to know that the reason you’d been holding off was the very man sitting in your living room, whom you’d almost married, and still couldn’t seem to let go?

Clutching your phone to your chest, you turn it to silent, setting it down beside you. Hoseok’s eyes are alight with curiosity, his lips turned up in a faint smirk, as though he’s remembering his statement from earlier. 

You take another sip, willing the caffeine to give you some strength, to rein in the bare threads of this conversation back to your control.

“How are your parents?”

Hoseok is taken aback by the question. He hadn’t expected it from you. There had once been a time where you’d been bright eyed and eager, wanting to know everything about him, bombarding him with question after question every time you were together. And yet somehow, he’d never managed to give you the time of day, always giving brusque answers and half-hearted excuses that there were other things that needed his attention.

He knew it was just a poor attempt to fill the silence, but his heart lurches at the thought that there’s so much you don’t know anymore. Namjoon coming back, Seokjin running away, the life that Hoseok knew being turned inside out. What’s more unsettling is the fact that he yearns to tell you, despite knowing he’d lost the privilege to do so.

“They’re okay. Doing well,” he lies through his teeth. “We all are. How about yours?”

He thinks it’s an innocent question, but he watches your fingers blanch as you grip the mug so tight, he thinks it’ll break. 

“I wouldn’t know,” you whisper out softly, and his heart stops. “I haven’t spoken to them since– you know.”

Hoseok feels dizzy at your confession. What do you mean you hadn’t spoken to them? Suddenly, it all begins to make sense in his head. The fact that he hadn’t expected to run into you tonight, because he hadn’t expected you to live alone, with your austere clothes and hair tossed up into a messy bun. It was so different from the woman he’d known, the dazzling one he’d written off as hollow in his mind, the one he was incapable of forming a real relationship with. 

And here you were, living the exact opposite of the cozy life he’d painted for you in his head. He thought you’d be fine, that you’d move on, your family offering you up to the next prospect that came along. And you’d accept them, like you’d accepted Hoseok with all his flaws, not caring that he could barely give you what you deserved.

His thoughts flash back to the last conversation you had, tears streaming down your face as you sobbed.

I can’t live like this anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and he watches annoyance flash across your face. He knows he’s done nothing but apologize this entire time, but it probably isn’t even worth a damn. No consolation would ever make up for losing someone that meant everything to you. He’d known that when Namjoon had run away.

“Hey,” you set the mug down, leaning over the table. For a brief second, he sees your hand reach out blindly in the darkness, almost as if it’s searching for his, but you withdraw just as quickly. “I’m okay. I really am.”

“I wish you’d stop pretending,” Hoseok blurts out, and he watches you jolt in surprise. “Why do you always have to pretend like everything’s okay, like nothing affects you? Is it the society training? Or do you really just not care about what happened at all?”

You chew the inside of your cheek, mulling over Hoseok’s words in your head.

“The same way you can pull the trigger on someone and be able to lie in your bed and fall asleep,” you seethe, a venom that Hoseok has never heard in your voice. 

“I knew who you were Hoseok. I knew what kind of man I was marrying. You think it didn’t affect me? You think I wasn’t scared out of my wits because of what you did, what other people could do to you?” 

You rise up, palms quivering as you open and close them, strolling over to the window. Hoseok watches your shoulders shake before they slump completely, and he knows that you’re crying.

He’s up before he can stop himself, feet ready to walk out the door. He’d fucked up the moment he’d stayed in the elevator with you, all the ugly feelings between you coming to a head, ones he’d struggled so hard to keep buried. 

But his body betrays him, instead leading him right behind. He pauses until he’s just close enough that if he reaches out, he’d be able to grab your arm and turn you around to face him. But he waits instead.

“I did what I did because I realized I was chasing a ghost,” you huff out, resignation in your tone. “I wanted you to be someone you weren’t. I wanted you to care so badly. But you didn’t. I don’t want any part in whatever you’re caught up in, Hoseok. Whatever has a hold on you so badly that you couldn’t even look beyond your cynicism to give me a chance.”

“I just want to survive.”

Hoseok grips the bathroom sink, knuckles turning white. His cell phone clatters on the counter beside him and he has to keep from heaving. This whole thing was a mess – no one had counted on Namjoon coming back. Even less so on him refusing to take up his father’s mantle. And so the threats continued – the words from the anonymous phone call still ringing in his ear, your name echoing across the line.

While he didn’t know what he felt for you, or whether he could even marry you, Hoseok knew you were an innocent person. You didn’t deserve to be the victim of your parents’ greed, them using you to bury their secrets in the hands of even more powerful people. You deserved gardens full of flowers and meals together every night, not coming home to an empty bed. Or a fiancé who couldn’t spare a moment during the entire night to even dance with you. 

He’s so lost in his brooding that he doesn’t hear the door the click behind him, the soft tapping of heels on the floor coming up behind him. 

“Is something wrong?” you ask him gently, and he feels the bristle of your hand on his jacket. 

So much was wrong. You couldn’t even begin to understand. 

“It’s fine,” he clears his throat, straightening up to adjust his jacket. “I’ll need to leave soon. I can have the car stay behind for you.”

The farther away he got from you, the better. That way no one could hurt you – or him. 

“I can go with you,” your voice echoes from beside him, “I was getting tired anyway.”

Hoseok turns to face you, watching you recoil at the red rimming his eyes, the bags underneath them becoming even more prominent in the dim lighting of the bathroom.

He doesn’t know what possesses him to reach for the single strand of hair that has managed to escape your polished bun, but he watches you suck in a breath, lips parting in surprise.

Before he knows it, your face is drawing in closer, and he can smell the rosé on your breath. Your lips barely ghost against his, and he has to fight every nerve ending not to grab your hand and run away from here, somewhere where he wasn’t Hoseok, and you weren’t ____, and you didn’t need protecting from everything around you – most of all him. 

His paralysis slowly melts away and he’s pushing you away without realizing, the door to the bathroom suddenly materialising in front of him. 

“Like I said,” he doesn’t bother turning around, knowing his heart would twist at whatever expression he found on your face. “I’ll have the car stay behind for you.”

Before you can wrestle with the weight of your confession to Hoseok, a hand is clamping over your mouth. Caught in a silent scream, you turn your eyes to see Hoseok lifting a finger to his lips, willing you to stay quiet. And that’s when you hear them. The voices.

Raucous laughter echoes through the hallway, tinged with malevolent glee. The air around you feels cold, a breeze at the base of your spine, and you instinctively curl into Hoseok.

“Come out, come out,” the disembodied voice cackles from the hallway. “Are you hiding from us, Jung? Found some poor rich girl to use as a body shield?”

Your hand seizes Hoseok’s wrist clamped against your mouth, nails digging into his arm, the fear taking over. Slowly, his wrist lowers, slipping to take your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I won’t let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?” 

He’s so quiet you almost can’t tell he’s said it at all. You nod reluctantly, eyes continuing to dart to the door.

“Go hide underneath the bed. Lock the door. I may or may not come back but please stay inside. Don’t come looking for me.”

His voice is clipped, the faint hint of nerves colouring his tone, but his eyes are filled with a resoluteness you know all too well. You’d spent the better part of over a year staring into them, hoping they’d look back. And now they finally were. 

“Be safe.” Your voice comes out louder than you’d intended, but there’s no anger in Hoseok’s expression. All he does is nod, and then you turn, stumbling down the hallway to your room, never bothering to look back until you hear the door click behind you.

. . .

Hoseok’s heart pounds in his chest, a strange pain settling in his ribs – he never expected to be in this position again. His sense of duty had always been his biggest downfall – and while you were no longer his, he owed it to you to make sure he gave you exactly what you’d asked him for – the chance to survive, to come out on the other side of this. That’s why he had to settle this once and for all.

Choi’s cronies linger at the other end of the hallway, too dumb to notice Hoseok slipping out of your door, reaching for the revolver he’d kept hidden in his coat pocket. A chill settles in his bones as he runs his fingers over the metal.

The brief events of the night play over in his head – the rain pounding against the pavement, the ding of the elevator, the now-cold mug of coffee that sat on your coffee table. And then there was you – your eyes, the softness of your skin, the faint smell of gardenias that lingered on your skin.

And it hits Hoseok that while he was very much alive – he’d been in mourning. Mourning for the friendships he’d never be able to recover, for the youth that had been taken away from him. But most of all, Hoseok’s heart mourns for the relationship he’d never gotten to have with you. The glass walls he’d so carefully put up around himself shatter, making way for a torrential deluge. 

After me, the flood.

He remembers the first night you’d met, how he’d been drawn to you without even trying, the portrait of the wave. He remembers the months that passed afterwards, where you drew closer to him and he drew back. He remembers the regret he’d buried deep in his heart for not kissing you back the night of the gala, not knowing he’d never get another chance.

But most of all, he remembers the somber expression on your face the day you’d ended things, pressing the engagement ring back into his hands, the very same ring that was still sitting in the first drawer of his nightstand. 

Choi’s men finally perk up, noticing Hoseok’s solitary figure lingering at the end of the hallway, smirks twisting on their grotesque faces. A shot rings out, and Hoseok thinks of you now, hiding under your bed. And then he charges.

The alleyway was grim at this time of day, the sunlight barely able to reach beyond the towering skyscrapers, the clouds casting everything in grey. Rain fell softly from the sky. You clutch your coat tighter around you, unable to stop looking at the mural of the wave.

So much had changed since you’d first seen it. And yet it was still the same.

You know Hoseok from the thud of his boots against the pavement, coming up beside you. His head turns, an eyebrow raised in your direction, wondering why you’d asked to meet him here of all places.

You avoid his eyes, fingers clasping around the blue velvet in your pocket. His eyes widen with surprise when he sees the box, confusion marring his handsome face. 

A knot forms in your chest when you watch the confusion turn into alarm as you press the box into his hand, the dazzling diamond no longer on your left finger.

“I don’t understand,” he grunts, breath visible in the cold air.

“We can’t do this anymore, Hoseok. I can’t do this. I can’t live like this.”

“Was it something that I did?” he questions you, desperation creeping into his voice.

You scoff, watching him flinch, pain on his face. 

“No, it’s the opposite. It’s what you haven’t ever been able to do. It’s been an entire year, Hoseok. I’ve watched you answer every phone call that comes your way, disappear into the night to do god knows what, run whenever your friends call. And in that entire time, have you ever thought about us? About the future?”

You take a deep breath.

“I know that neither of us chose this, but Hoseok, we were engaged. Did that mean anything to you?”

He squares his shoulders, fists clenching at his sides, a tick in his jaw.

“You don’t understand. I-I’m not good for you, ___. I dont think I’ll ever be. There’s too much that’s happened, too much I’ve lost. But please don’t walk away like this.

“I thought it’d be enough,” you whisper, and Hoseok freezes. You didn’t know he’d heard you.

“I thought me loving you would be enough for the both of us. But it’s not. I need more. I need someone who I know will come home to me every night. But what I need even more than that, is for you to let me walk away so I can breathe again. So I can be myself.”

Your eyes are just as sad as the first time Hoseok saw them, and all of a sudden, you remark at how stagnant the two of you had been together.

“Hoseok please, I know I can’t ask you to do it if you love me, but if you’ve ever cared about me, even the tiniest bit, let me go.”

You watch him open the box, gazing at the ring. Moments pass by before he slips it into his own pocket, his eyes flitting to the wave as he gives you a small smile, the most genuine one you’d ever seen.

“Goodbye, ____. 

Hoseok’s fist rattles against the door, before he slumps over, heaving for breath. The pain in his side licks at him like the flames of a fire. He hisses when he presses a hand to it, eyes widening when it comes away covered in blood. Those fuckers had managed to get him. Shit.

His eyes are about to close when the door springs open, the wide eyes of Kim Namjoon taking in his battered figure. 

“Hobi, what the fuck?” Namjoon seethes, offering him an arm and pulling him inside. Slinging an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder, the two of them hobble to Namjoon’s kitchen, the burning in Hoseok chest causing him to let out a loud groan.

“Hyun is sleeping,” Namjoon chastises him, and Hoseok bites his tongue, remembering that this Namjoon was dealing with a pregnant wife and a toddler. “You gonna tell me what the hell happened, or do I have to force it out of you?”

“I made a mistake, Namjoon. I went somewhere I shouldn’t have tonight. I fucked up, but I-I didn’t mean to I swear…”

Hoseok feels himself shake as the words pour out, the ruined mission the furthest thing from his mind. He tells Namjoon everything – from being tailed to running into to you, to how he’d left, not knowing whether you were okay or not. 

“That was a dick move,” Namjoon huffs.

“Excuse me?” Hoseok looks up at his best friend, who looks more pissed off than he’s ever seen him. 

“I said what I said. That was a dick move, just leaving her like that.”

“I don’t need a lecture on running away from you, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon wipes away the blood on his side, and Hoseok bites his tongue at the sting of the alcohol, before slumping into the chair next to him. 

“You’re an idiot, Jung Hoseok. You’ve been so afraid of letting yourself feel things for so long, and I know it’s because you think that everyone around you is going to leave, or that you’ll lose them. But I’m telling you right now, that’s the stupidest thing you could ever do.”

“You have to let yourself just be, Hobi. Just let go. Enjoy things - life, your friends, your family. Be open to the possibility of love. It’s the only thing that can keep the darkness away.”

Namjoon’s voice shrinks when he says the last line, and Hoseok knows his friend is far off in his own mind, battling the demons that plague him. 

“I think I’m too far gone for that, Namjoon,” Hoseok tells him. “Maybe some of us weren’t meant for happiness. Maybe some of us needed to make sacrifices so others could live the lives they wanted to.”

“That’s a damn lie if I’ve ever heard one, Hoseok.” Namjoon striaghtens, rising up from the chair. “I know you’ve been angry at me for leaving, for keeping you all in the dark. I know how much it hurts to not be able to share your happiest moments with people you love. And I’m sorry for that. But you have a chance to change things.”

“Listen Hobi,” Namjoon crouches down to his level. “I want to be the best man at your wedding – I want to be there for you in all the ways you didn’t get to do for me. This is my way of making amends, but you need to fix whatever this is between you two.”

“What makes you think she’ll even take me back? I was awful to her… god, she didn’t deserve that Joon. She deserves so much better.”

“Do you love her?” Namjoon asks him, and Hoseok is shocked when he doesn’t even have to pause to think about it. He wants to start over, to be by your side, to have a chance to love you properly this time around. 

“Second chances come when you least expect them, Hobi. Think about what would have happened if you hadn’t stepped out into the rain last night. And don’t let it happen again.”

The knock at the door startles you, your phone clattering to the floor. Swearing under your breath, you pick it up, perusing the message from Minghao once again. He was nothing if not persistent. And Hoseok was never coming back. You’d convinced yourself of that.

It’d been over a week since he’d left you that night - the promise to keep you safe burrowing its way into your heart. And then radio silence. You’d heard the gunshots in the hallway, but when you’d opened the door, no one was there, the only evidence of the showdown being the faint splatters of blood on the wall. When the police had questioned you, you’d left Hoseok’s name out of it – those words echoing in your mind, instilling a false sense of loyalty in you.

Why did you think things would be different this time around? It’d been foolish to assume that Hoseok thought anything more of you. But you couldn’t forget the look in his eyes, the gentle touches, the way he’d promise he would never let anything happen to you, and you fell for him all over again.

Throwing your phone aside, you grumble as you make your way to the door, making a mental note to respond to Minghao later, agreeing to the date.

Swinging it open, you freeze when you see who’s on the other end. Hoseok, looking worse for wear with bruises on his jaw and a nasty cut on his forehead, nervously twirling a tiny bouquet of flowers in his hand.

You’re dumbfounded - unable to speak as you take him in, his dark, inquisitive eyes gazing into your shocked ones. 

“You better let me in, ____,” he says with a grin. “Or the neighbours are gonna think I did something really bad this time.”

Wordlessly, you open the door to allow him to enter, watching as he slips off his coat and shoes, an exact repeat of a week ago. You watch him, trying to open your mouth and say something, ask him anything, but nothing will come out. 

“These are for you,” Hoseok nearly shoves the bouquet in your hands and you watch him rub at the back of his neck, his ears reddening.

“Are you okay Hoseok?” you finally manage to ask him, setting the flowers on your coffee table. Your concern wins out over your confusion once again, but the whole scene is odd – him, smiling in your apartment, the late afternoon sunlight casting half his angular face in a mysterious shadow.

“Just a little nick to my side,” he lifts his shirt up, your eyes widening at the bandages on his abdomen. “But actually, I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay since the day I let you walk away, and I can’t live with it anymore.”

You take a step back, unable to breathe. The space in between you seems to have lessened considerably, and you can make out every delicate detail of his face. Dizzy, you put some distance in between the two of you.

“Everything hurts, ___. It hurts because I look at you and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore, knowing how much pain I put you through. It hurts knowing that you’re so kind, so understanding of someone like me, when I don’t deserve it at all. And what hurts the most is knowing that I love you, and I’ve been lying to myself this entire time because I’m afraid you’ll leave just like everyone else, but I lost you anyway.”

Hoseok’s voice cracks on the last words, and you watch him sway, gripping onto your counter for support.

“I thought it was just me this entire time,” you finally manage to look him in the eyes, tears spilling out of your own. “I thought I was crazy, because ever since you walked out that door a week ago, all I’ve been doing is waiting for you to come back.”

“I’m here,” Hoseok closes the gap between you, arms wrapping around you. You breathe in the faint scent of tobacco on his leather jacket, mixed with the spice of his cologne. “And I’m not leaving. Not this time.”

You grip his lapels, before your arms come up to wrap around his neck, running your fingers through the soft hair at his nape. 

“What if it’s not different this time around?” you whisper into his neck. “What if nothing changes?”

“What if it is?” his low voice rumbles into your hair. “Can you trust me, ___? One more time?”

You take his hand in yours, bringing it to your chest, his lips parting in awe at the fluttering of your heartbeat.

“Only you can do that to me,” you say softly, a smile gracing your lips. 

Before you know it, Hoseok’s lips are crashing against yours, and you can feel him release a euphoric sigh, groaning into your mouth. It’s slow, tentative in the way he waits for your body to respond, never pushing more than you’re comfortable with. Eventually, even the small bit of distance in between you becomes too much to bear. You card your fingers into his hair, pulling slightly at the strands, warmth blossoming in your chest.

It feels too short when he pulls away all too soon, lips tinged with red and eyes dark with something that sends a shiver down your spine.

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since the night of the gala,” he rasps, warmth blooming in your chest at his confession. “You were—, I mean you still are, breathtaking.”

You can feel the rapid beat of his heart, his pulse point right there below your fingertips, and you reach for his hand, watching his entire body soften at your touch. 

“Come with me,” you ask him, eyes turning down the hallway to your bedroom. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for. 

Hoseok tries to ignore the rapid rushing of blood in his ears, his focus narrowing to your head resting on his shoulder, the two of you looking out at the city together for the last little while from your bed. It’s somewhere he never imagined he’d be, but he’d felt the ice around his heart melt the moment he’d finally kissed you for real, warmth filling his veins.

And despite relishing in your presence, it was spiking to a fever pitch. He’d tasted you, and now he couldn’t get enough. All it takes is a brief moment for you to look in his eyes, and he’s pulling you into him once again, mouth hard on yours, unable to resist the desire for more, more, more. 

You whine into his mouth, hands fisting at the edge of his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head. He uses one hand to pin both arms behind you, reaching over with the other to hike your dress up to your stomach, finally peeling it off, and you lie back, eyes alight with desire as you take him in. 

He kisses you again, his lean body hovering over yours, hands roaming everywhere – your arms, up your neck, and on your thighs. He inches higher and higher, fingers ghosting over your core.

“Hoseok please,” you whimper, digging your nails into his shoulder blades. “I can’t wait anymore.”

You part your thighs for him, and he wastes no time, pulling your soaked underwear to the side and dipping his fingers into your arousal. He presses another hard kiss to your lips, catching your moans in his mouth while he works you open, leaving you trembling underneath him.

You whine when his fingers leave you, clenching around nothing, coming up to cup your exposed breasts in both hands while he licks and sucks at your nipples.

“Fuck,” he groans against your chest. “How are you so perfect? How are you even mine?”

His voice breaks, and you mouth at his jaw, mirroring his actions until purple bruises begin to bloom in the spots where your lips previously were.

“I’m yours,” you nip at his bottom lip. “Whether you like it or not.”

“Believe me,” he smirks. “I like it. I like it a lot actually. Let me show you how much.”

With adept skill, he manages to remove your panties in seconds, throwing them to the wall. The clinking sound of his belt drives you mad, and your hands join his, the two of you awkwardly fumbling to remove it.

You feel your mouth go dry when his cock springs free, and he chuckles at the depraved look in your eyes.

“Some other time, love,” he whispers, voice lowering a few octaves. “Right now, I need to feel you.”

You gasp when he pushes in, and he pauses, wondering if it’s too much, but you nod, letting him know it’s okay. He thrusts shallowly, before pushing in all the way, watching you squirm underneath him while rutting your hips.

“Move, please,” you beg him, and he obliges, hiking one leg up over his shoulder to open you up for him, the wet sounds of your pussy accompanying the fluid snap of his hips. His knuckles grip the headboard, turning white while he pins you underneath him, unable to take his eyes off the way your tits bounce with every thrust. His hands grip at your ass, every jerk of his hips an excuse to hold you tighter, until he can see your skin redden underneath his fingers. 

“Oh my god, Hoseok, I can’t–, it’s too much,” you groan, rocking against him in an attempt to quell the sparks underneath your skin, lighting you up like a livewire.

“Come for me,” he grunts, trapping your clit in between his fingers, rubbing tight circles until you snap, seeking his lips once again, your orgasm flooding your entire body like a wave. Hoseok speeds up his thrusts to join you, roaring when he feels himself explode, before slumping against you, chest heaving with the weight of his breaths. 

Moments pass like this, him remaining inside you while he burrows into the crook of your neck, his warm breath fanning your damp skin. Eventually he pulls out of you with a soft whine, brushing away the sweat-soaked strands of hair at your temple, before rising. 

You trap his wrist in your hand, panic settling in. He watches your expression change and immediately stiffens, cradling you against his chest.

“That expression you always talk about, the flood. I-, I looked it up. And I know the life I have isn’t ideal, and maybe things will only get harder, but I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I don’t want to live out the rest of my life not caring anymore.”

“Do you know what I was thinking of that night, looking at the wave?” you mumble in his ear, and he gazes at you inquisitively, watching the way your skin glows under the moonlight as you take a breath.

“My whole life, people have forced me into this box, this image, of someone they want me to be – the perfect daughter, the perfect wife. It’s been suffocating. All I wanted that night was a taste of freedom - that feeling of happiness you have on a beach, feeling the waves crash at your feet. And then I saw you.”

Hoseok leaves a kiss in your hair, his fingers intertwining with yours. Briefly, his heart drops at the absence of the ring he’d given you on your finger, but he knows when you’re ready, it’ll be waiting for you. He’ll be waiting for you. And the two of you will step into the flood, together. 

a/n pt. 2:  Okay long ending note here. First, please visualize this Hoseok with the undercut ;) Second, I don't normally say this but the writer's block really got me good with this one, so I apologize if it's not up to my usual standards (pls be kind tho). And third and last, this fic definitely would never exist if it weren't for the wonderful Guarded series by Ana (@xjoonchildx). I think about it more than is necessary and this is definitely my tribute to the impeccable Captain Jung.

As always, any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi &lt;3

taglist (pls let me know if you want to be removed): @jalexad @secfir @hobi-love @back2bluesidex @temptingempress

[seriesxwriting]

Let me show you who I really am

Pairing- Kol Mikaelson

Series- vampire diaries

Summary- usually you’d get quite a few boys ask you to prom, but not this year. Apparently they were all scared of your admirer who wanted you all to himself.

Warnings- kissing, vampire killing, mentions of blood, detailed description of killing.

“I can’t believe it was over a month since I posted- I apologise! I will try to be more active but sitting A levels has apparently hindered my ability to come up with ideas. Just bare with me <3”

It was finally the day of our school prom. I’d been stressing about what to wear, how to have my hair, what colour to use on my lips. But the biggest thing I was stressing about, was who I was going to go with. It’s not a flex but in the past I’ve had multiple offers from boys to go to dances or gatherings. But this time, nothing. Not one offer. I even went out my way asking hector wathe to come with me, seems we’d gone to a dance together last term. But he just shook his head and ran away from me. I would have been embarrassed if I wasn’t consumed with confusion about his behaviour.

So I gave up on the date thing, assumed I’d be going myself. But my girl’s picked me up, ditched their dates so they could come with me. Prom was about friendship anyway. Not a random boy I’d forget once I made a life for myself.

“Y/n? Is that you?” My mother called as I walked through the door. I smiled as she entered the hallway with a giant box in her arms. “This came for you sweetheart” she edged over to me passing the box into my arms. “What is it?” I questioned frowning. “We haven’t opened it, it’s private” she shrugged staring at the box. I could see her mind was racing with the possibilities of what could be inside. “Thanks mum” I swallowed joining in with her thinking myself. Who was it from. What was in it. I carried it up the stairs as my mum filtered back into the living room to watch whatever was on the tv. I put the box on my bed and then lifted the lid off it, curious about the details. There was a note on top of the white tissue paper.

“Saw this and it reminded me of you, thought you’d look good in it, like you do in everything” I whispered as I read it out to myself. My eyes flicked down to the bottom “from Kol” my eyes widened at the three letters of his name. Kol? Why would Kol send me a dress? What game was he playing? Sure id noticed his eyes lingering on me for a while too long before and noticed how his deep eyes compelled me to stare into them until I melted. But that doesn’t give him a reason to send me a dress. I placed the card on my bed and unwrapped the tissue paper. I pulled out this gorgeous emerald dress. It had a silver strip coming from the waistline all the way down the sides of the leg spilt. It looked as if they’d put the gems on by hand, one at a time taking precaution not to ruin or snag any part of it. The dress was slightly off the shoulders which would make my chest look great.

It was overwhelming. It must have cost a fortune. But here it was in my house, lying on my bed. All because of Kol? A Mikaelson was showing me more interest than any of the boys from school. He was supposed to be a sworn enemy, and because of that, I folded the dress back up and put it back in the box. I already had a dress. It was a lot simpler and less expensive but it was mine. And it wasn’t gifted to me by a deranged, gorgeous psychopath. No I meant a deranged, bloodthirsty, psychopath. Not gorgeous. I couldn’t have meant gorgeous. Putting the note back, I lifted the box putting it under my bed where no one would find it. I’d give it back to him if I ever got the chance. It wasn’t right to keep it let alone wear it. Plus I was running out of time overthinking this, I had to get ready.

I curled my hair after my shower and put on my red dress. It didn’t have sparkles on it, but it did have a cute leg slit and a nice tied up back. “Mum!! Can you come and do me up!!” I yelled out of my room. A minute or two later she came plodding up the stairs. She stopped in front of me smiling and her eyes filling up as she raised a finger to wipe her tear. “Oh y/n you look so gorgeous” she whimpered walking over to hug me. “Thanks mum” I whispered nuzzling my face into her neck with a grin across my cheeks. “Come on, let me tie the back” she smiled ushering me over to the mirror. “Oh- y/n have you noticed this rip?” She blinked looking at the back of me. “RIP?! Where!!” I turned around trying to have a look in the mirror. “Here?” She pointed looking stressed herself. “Oh god- what am I going to do- can you fix it?” I blinked at her in utter panic. “No- well yes- but not in time for your prom” she shook her head having a closer look at it. “Come on, I’ll need to work fast, you’ll only be a little late, take it off” she patted me on the back but I eyed the box sticking out from under my bed. “No- no it’s okay, I’ll wear something else” I blinked, not taking my eyes off it. “Something else? What else do you possibly have to wear to a prom?” She raised an eyebrow following my eyeline.

“I’ll meet you and dad downstairs, give me ten minutes” I smiled rubbing her shoulder. “Alright…” she trailed off leaving my room full of confusion. I didn’t move. I swallowed staring at the box. Would it be completely wrong to wear it? I had nothing else I could wear. Surely my friends would understand. I sighed walking over to it, clipping on the floor in my black heels. Taking it out from under my bed. I held it up over my body looking at it in the mirror. I put my head on one side thinking for a second. Before removing all the thoughts out of my head and putting it on. I walked down stairs to my parents sitting in the front room. Their eyes widened as I walked in. “Y/n! That dress is stunning where did you get it?” My mother gasped covering her mouth with her hand.

“It was a gift” I bit my lip not wanting to say anymore. “You look amazing darling, you’ll be the best dressed there” my dad smiled at me. With that the door bell rang. “That must be the girls” I smiled rushing out as fast as the dress would let me go. But when I opened the door the girls weren’t there. Kol was. He stood with his famous smirk, his hand held a big bunch of roses as his eyes looked me up and down. “So I was right, it does suit you” he joked, my jaw was ajar now staring at him. “What are you doing here- why are you wearing a suit and- why do you have flowers- why did you send me a dress?” I hissed coming outside closing the door so my parents wouldn’t hear us. “Because I’m taking you to prom” “erm- no you’re not!” I scoffed almost laughing. “You don’t have a date? So why can’t it take you?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“There are a number! Of reasons why you can’t take me to prom kol” I laughed before the realisation sank in. “How the hell do you know I don’t have a date?” I whispered frowning at him. His brown eyes slimmed on me as his smirk widened. “I may have sent out a message to some guys- that you were taken” he shrugged his shoulders. “What?” I blinked in disbelief, my breath hitched. “I want to take you, I don’t want other guys putting their hand on you” he told me slamming his eyebrows down. “You’re serious?” I asked him in a quiet voice. “You’re a vampire kol- you’ve hurt my friend- not only that you’re an original…” I trailed off holding the door handle. “And what?” He shrugged laughing. “I’m here aren’t I? I’m not lying I’m not causing trouble- a vampire can’t admit his feelings for a girl?”. “Feelings? For me? I’m just an ordinary human Kol” “you’re not ordinary y/n- you’re different from your friends, different from all humans” he smiled staring into my eyes. “How” I slimmed my eyes at him shaking my head not believing a word that came out of his mouth.

“You think you can put me on the spot y/n?” Kol chuckled to himself. “The way you carry yourself, the way you stick to your morals, your loyalty to those you love, your way of seeing the best in people even if they have hurt your friends- you’re out here talking to me, you could have stayed in your house in the safety- so you must be slightly intrigued or trust me slightly- just give me a chance y/n” he put his head to the side as I consumed everything he dumped on me. “I will protect you- treat you right- I just want a chance to show you who I really am, I don’t want anything more to do with klaus and his mess- let me show you that” he begged, I saw it in his eyes. He wasn’t lying, if he was he was a damn good lier. I wasn’t wearing vvraine so he could have compelled me but, he didn’t. “Okay- you have one night to make me feel anything but uncomfortable around you” I raised my eye brow at him reaching out for the flowers. I smiled at them clutching them between my arms. “I’m gonna grab my bag and text the girls to meet me there- you can wait here” I told him with a little smile warming up to the idea of Kol Mikaelson liking me. If he was a normal boy this would be so much easier, he was attractive- he was gorgeous. But he wasn’t normal, he’s a vampire who’s been around 1000 years longer than me.

I did as I said I would before saying goodbye to my parents. I met Kol outside his car where he opened the door for me before getting in his own side. He drove us to prom while keeping up basic conversation, which just intrigued me more. I wanted to know what he was up to. We got to the prom location in under twenty minutes. When no one was looking Kol vamp ran round to my side and opened my door for me. “Kol!” I hissed shaking my head. “Don’t do that you could get caught” I whispered as he put his hand out for me. I took it gently. “They wouldn’t be alive very long if they did catch me darling” he whispered in my ear as I stepped out. “I don’t want any killings here tonight, or I’ll never forgive myself” I widened my eyes at him. “Yes mam” he smirked leaning in closer to me. There wasn’t much room between my back and the car or my front and kol. “I can hear your heart racing darling” he whispered tucking my hair behind my ear. “Don’t worry, I won’t kiss you until you ask me to, and you will” he winked before stepping back and putting his arm out for me.

“You’re delusional” I giggled rolling my eyes taking his arm. We walked towards the enterance and kitty Renfeild stood outside with a camera. “Hey y/n- and y/n’s handsome date” she winked at Kol who completely blanked her without him even knowing I was looking at him. His arm wrapped around my waist and he whispered “going have to get a little closer now love” he pulled me into his body. The flick of jealously I felt from kitty’s comment was what I blamed my actions on. I pressed my body against him putting my other hand on Kols chest. I heard him chuckle as I posed for the photo. “Have fun” she told us after snapping the photo and in we went. There were lot of people here even though we were maybe ten minutes early. There were flashing lights and drink tables everywhere. People were already dancing to the shit music playing. “Has Kol Mikaelson ever been to a high school prom?” I asked him smiling up. “Oh I’ve been to my fair share of dances, balls and whatever was going on in the 1920s but never a prom” he laughed catching my eyes. “And I’ve never had such a gorgeous date to attend any of these events with” he winked. “Quite the charmer ain’t you” I nudged him gently.

“Y/n? What’s this all about?”. I look up and see Elena, Bonnie and Caroline all staring at me like I’m an alien. Or, staring at Kol like he’s an alien. “Hey girls…” I trailed off as my heart started pounding. Kol clearly picked up on it because his grip round my waist became tighter. “I can explain, I have a thing for y/n- have done ever since I laid my eyes on her and i decided now was the time to tell her” “what” Carolin blinked in horror. “He’s a Mikaelson y/n” Elena widened her eyes at me. “He doesn’t want to be involved anymore” I shook my head at her hoping they’d find some way to look at this differently. “You can’t trust him- he’s a vampire” Bonnie hissed at me, her face pulled into disgust. “Well that’s why I’ve braught him- to see if I can trust him” I told them with a little bit of a shrug. The girls all looked round at each other. “I’m done with all klaus’s shit, I want to prove that- not necessarily to you guys but to y/n” he told them blankly. “I’m sorry y/n, but I don’t like it” Elena stepped back before rushing off into the crowd. Kol rolled his eyes at her “she’s always so dramatic”. “I…” Caroline trailed off not knowing what to say in this situation.

“I’m going to get some air, will you be alright for a second” I tapped Kol on the bicep. “Yes gorgeous” he nodded brushing my hand with his. That made me smile. Even within this mess. My friends hated the idea of me and Kol being together, on a serious level. Elena was ready to cry about it. But what made it worse was the fact that I thought I was really starting to like him. He was charming, he was handsome, he was bold and confident. He was my type. I made it outside to the side of the tent and took a deep breath. I had two options here, to lose my friends and continue on with Kol- or leave him now. And that was a hard decision. “Y/n, i didn’t expect to see you here”. I whipped around seeing klaus standing opposite me. He had a girl in his arms and blood was dripping all down his chin. Her neck had been torn open. Klaus’s eyes illuminated orange as fear spread across my face. “Klaus- what have you done…” I whispered blinking at the lifeless girl.

“I came to create a massacre, I’d say I’m going to start with you but I’ve already started” he chuckled throwing the body on the floor. Klaus walked a few steps towards me while I took a few back hitting the tent behind me. “Why are you doing this?” I gasped as he vamp ran in front of me. I could smell the blood that was smothered across his mouth and T-shirt he was that close. “Because i simply can” he smirked reaching out for my hair. I pushed his hand away from me scrunching my face up. “That was stupid” his eyes lit up again as anger starting to corse through his veins. I saw his jaw tighten emphasising his anger. “It was stupid to come out alone anyway” he grunted and my last thought was about to be ‘klaus is right’. As he lunged forwards towards my neck his body got ripped away from me and he flew backwards hitting a tree with a thud. I pannted looking around before finally seeing my hero. Kol stood there scowling at his brother who was in the process of standing up. “She didn’t come alone brother” Kol raised his eyebrows. Once klaus stood up he flicked his eyes between us assessing the situation.

“A human?” Klaus chuckled from a distance. “I thought you were into witches” “I thought you were into Caroline but we all know how that worked out” Kol walked closer to me standing in front of me as if he was a shield. “What are you playing at Kol?” “I like her, and you aren’t going to touch a hair on her head without going through me” Kol answered folding his arms across his chest. Klaus laughed, it went right through me making my blood boil. “I could easily get through you” “so do it” Kol shrugged letting his arms lose once again. “I’m sure we will see each other real soon little brother” klaus nodded before vamp running away into the forest. Kol turned around and came to me fussing and checking I was okay. “Kol! I’m fine- do you realise how many people you just saved” I questioned almost weak from the shock of his protection. “I don’t care y/n, you are my priority, when you’re with me you will be safe I’ll make sure of it” he told me brushing a finger down my cheek. I felt my cheeks going red. He made me feel emotions I’d never felt towards a guy before.

I pushed my body against his and wrapped my arms slowly around his neck gently pulling his head down to meet mine. Our lips met, gently at first but then Kol gripped my waist, pulling me even closer to his body. There’s something about almost dying that makes you do crazy things. Life is short, and I want to try life with Kol. No matter the repercussions.

Kol masterlist

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[divinehedons]

hard to explain.

previously: call it fate, call it karma | masterlist

pairing: dilf!joel miller x f!reader

word count: ~3.5k

summary: after your fall-out with the son of a texan contractor, you didn't expect to come face-to-face with the man; nor did you expect the feelings that come with him.

warnings: this is a dark explicit fic, minors DO NOT interact! once again, i am reminding you that this joel is a meaaaaanie. ginormous age gap (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early 20s), brief depiction of somnophilia, fingering, phone sex, mutual masturbation. proceed with caution!

note: thank you sosososososo much for 500+ followers! this is in celebration of everyone who enjoys a little debauchery, i hope you enjoy. you're welcome to suggest drabbles through my ask, and comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

It had to end. You knew it did. You knew it had to end not only when you saw Christopher in the arms of some other girl—you knew it had to end the morning you woke up in his father's bed, Joel Miller himself. You remember it, clear as day.

You remember waking to his tongue exploring your folds, legs already shaking. You wonder how long he had been down there, how long he had been tasting you, and you froze. You remember the way Joel smirks up at you, spreading you open with two fingers, your orgasm not far behind from how sensitive you already were.

The limbic system primarily existed with three mechanisms of responses: fight, flight, or freeze. As your vision cleared, you saw the three responses laid before you, along with their consequences. If you confronted him, you risked the exposure of your very own crime, secrets sliced open and exposed in the warm Texan morning air. If you stayed, you'd find yourself complicit in an active role for destroying a relationship that meant something to you. Therefore, there was only one option left.

You remember the way you shot up, barely getting something on when that Texan drawl emerges from the bed. Sweet pea... You don't hear the rest, shutting the door behind you in near perfect silence. You end it that morning with Christopher; over coffee after he tried to apologise to you. There was nothing to forgive.

Hell, you'd even think you were both even by then.

You left before noon, almost running away from the scene of the crime you have left with hands stained red. You didn't even notice you left a book you were reading until you were back at your parents' house, unpacking as you curse yourself.

You thought that was the end of it. But not quite. Who cares about fate or karma when both clearly wanted to mess with you?

—

You threw yourself directly into the fires of a new semester. Your days easily fill with readings and essays and everything else. You see your friends less and less. You hole up in your dorm room more often. The solitary existence, you began to think, allowed you to repent, to correct yourself. It was why you were so willing.

If only you knew how naive such things seemed.

It was early mid-autumn when you were proved wrong when Joel Miller himself knocked on the door of your dorm room. It was comical, how different Joel seemed against the backdrop of assorted university kids, frat boys, and other such cliques with his greying beard and tired eyes. It was almost comical because you didn't expect him to be here—months after your shared evening disappeared in the haze of stress and study. It was almost comical because you avoided Christopher like the plague, barely dodging out of sight the moment you recognise him anywhere.

Even in mundane things, the father was proving to be brighter than the son.

He sees you, eyes red from exhaustion, fingers stained with pen ink as the pregnant silence fills the air. You wonder what's on his mind as his eyes rake over your form. You're dressed in a campus sweatshirt and (he promised to thank a god or two) just panties. He goes to speak before you can shut the door on him. Before you could pretend and brush him off.

"Christ, sweet pea. What happened t'ya?"

That's how Joel Miller ended up in your shared room, looking over the small collection of books you had stacked up on some rickety shelving. You don't know what to say to him. You don't know what there is to say. You mumble fragments of things. "I'm sorry, mister Miller, this is not a good time..."

"Y'know, this could fall apart on ya. Shouldn't put too many things on it."

You look up at him, catching his eye once more. You feel the heat on your cheeks, feeling like an errant child with their hand caught in a cookie jar. It's strange, you think. You, who had once felt so welcomed by the same man, now look at things differently, wondering if he still thinks of you writhing against his sheets.

Because you think about it. Every fucking night. You think about his deep chuckle, that playful smirk, the orgasm you hadn't been able to recreate ever since. So, the question comes so easily to you: "Mister Miller, did you come here for a shelf?" Your shaky breath exposes you, reveals the tension in your shoulders from the idea of being so proximally close to you.

Slowly, you watch the edges of his mouth curve upwards in a slight, knowing smirk as he moves closer to you, chuckling as you attempt to back away, only for him to continue coming for you, until you feel the door press against the small of your back. His left palm moves to settle right beside your head, effectively pinning you where you are as he leans close enough for you to have a whiff of minty breath. "Why is that, darlin'? Did'ya want somethin' more?"

There is a shiver that shoots directly from your spine to your cunt, a wave of unabashed want as your lips part from his words. It's when a short laugh escapes him, moving to press a chaste kiss against your cheek, the prickling of his beard making your knees clench from expectation. "Actually, I came here to talk to Admissions about Chris and his failed major last semester. And of course, to return a book of yours."

For a moment, you think the conversation is over. Only Joel loves proving you wrong.

"But it's cute to know ya think' 'bout me, sweetheart."

Motherfucker.

The trade paperback emerges from his coat pocket, just as beaten as you had found it all those months ago in some decrepit, secondhand bookstore. You briefly catch the tile in front. The Master and Margarita. Bulgakov's opus. You gingerly take it from his grasp, managing a shy thanks just as you duck out from under his arm to place it on his desk. "I was just looking for that."

"Pretty dense read, if ya ask me." He turns to you, leaning against the door for a moment. "You worry your pretty l'il head too much." He moves to take his leave, opening the door as he steps out into the hallway with a gentlemanly nod.

"Well... I like the, um... thanks. Drive home safe."

He hums, looking around to check if there was anybody to hear his next words. But when he looks back to you, he had that same smirk that generated a tremble to the knee from you. "I hope ya still have my number. Maybe you should call the next time you're thinkin' 'bout an old man, baby doll."

And just like that, he leaves, shutting the door behind him as you collapse to the nearest seat, unbuttoning the top button of your blouse as you exhale.

What a fucking asshole.

—

You do not think of the same Texan contractor until a few days later, coming home from an admittedly awful date with some Tarantino fanboy that thought you needed help when it came to understanding Pulp Fiction. And, should anyone ask, you could honestly say you attempted your best behaviour, but eventually, there were just too many differences for you to logically accept his offer of sex back in his own (possibly) stinky dorm room.

So you walk back alone, sighing as you try not to think you made a foolish decision. You've been stuck in a dry spell, you think, considering the fact that it was Joel who last fucked you dumb. Considering it's been months of you fucking around and never really liking anyone because it's Joel you'll be touching yourself to at night.

With a sigh, you start to understand how foolish you were still being. And with a quiet gulp, you reach for your phone to dial that number you've been avoiding all week.

It's Joel, so, of course, it only took a few rings before you hear him on the other end.

"Well hello there, sugar."

You groan, leaning back to look up at the cloudy evening before clearing your throat. "Please don't be an asshole," you murmur, just as you hear him chuckle on the other end. "I was on a date this evening."

You hear the silence ensure from the other end. As if Joel immediately imagined you necking some frat boy or some other dickwad holding your breast while he's so far away, sitting down on his couch in his lonely home, so empty without you reading at the most random spots. As if he can smell how wet your cunt is and he's nowhere to be found. "It's just nine, baby doll, did you end the fun early?"

"I..." You swallow, entering your dorm room before your voice dropped into a whisper. "He... wasn't being nice..." You hang your coat as you check in to see your roommate fast asleep in her own bed, biting your lip gently. "And now... I'm back at the dorm and I have a roommate so... I'm just... I might just read until I'm tired."

"I might just be the last nice guy you'll meet, sweet pea," he teases, groaning as he adjusts himself in his spot. "And, as much fun as it is readin' about the Devil in Moscow, I think I'm much better company, no?" You perk up, stilling yourself mid-step as you replay the words in your head.

"You read it?" Already, you could feel the smile stretching across your cheeks as you imagine Joel, frowning down at your tiny book in an attempt to comprehend it.

"Tried to, doll. Too dense for an old man like me."

It's when you giggle. So suddenly and naturally that Joel feels a smile etch onto his own face. "I'm sorry, mister Miller. As much as I would like your company... I don't have any privacy right now..."

Joel hums from the other end, as if swallowed by his own thoughts. It's comfortable listening to the easy silene between the two of you, where nothing has to be said for five seconds.

Then, of course, he thinks with his cock and it gets him what he wants.

"I'm gettin' ya a room, darlin'. But you better stop with that mister Miller nonsense, got it?" You hear movement on the other end. "I'll send you the details. Call me when ya get there, sweet pea."

—

In the minutes where he has to wait for you to get where he wanted you, Joel has the time to contemplate just what he was doing to you. You, with a smile so sweet and young that it'd probably let his teeth ache if he let it. You, with your wandering, curious eyes that never asked a question. You, who he missed and hasn't stopped thinking about since that night.

If he was more honest, he would've told you that you also left some clothes from when you stayed over. If he was more honest, he'd tell you that you left your swimsuit in the bathroom beside the kitchen. But he's not honest. Actually, he's just a little bit too fucking selfish.

He'll never tell you of the number of times he breathed in the leftover scent of your skin and your perfect cunt staining the very pad of your swimsuit. He'll never tell you of the number of times he came just from the scent of you, cock in his fist, seed bursting out in powerful spurts.

He'll never tell you he could never have too much of you. And that he's been starving since you left him.

You call again, almost an hour later, shaky giggles being the first thing he hears. He tries to picture you taking in the hotel room he admittedly paid too much for. Tries to imagine if the bed was big enough, if the sheets were soft enough. If the fridge was filled to the brim with things you can enjoy. "Joel," you finally say, and he melts back into his own bed in his own house in Texas, "what the fuck, this is too much!"

He waits until your excitement wears off, smirk on his face. "Private enough for you to touch yourself, sweet pea?"

You audibly suck in a nervous breath, followed by the sound of you falling into the covers of your bed for the evening. He waits for you to respond, expecting some meek response. He doesn't know you've had a few drinks in you, doesn't know that you feel the heat of the alcohol pumping through your veins.

"Only if you touch yourself with me, Joel."

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph and all the saints combined. You were getting bolder. He began to chuckle, and you can almost hear the smirk in his voice. "Good girl. You're getting better, aren't ya?" His large palm reaches down to cup himself through his sweats. "What'cha wearin', baby?"

You tell him and he pictures it in his head. You in a cute knitted sweater, your light washed jeans, your muddy sneakers. He likes to imagine the sweater to be one of his, even if he knows it isn't. He imagines his musk on your skin while you smile an dmake conversation with some boy.

"Anything under the sweater?"

"Uh..." He catches the hesitation in your voice, just slight enough, just there.

"My goodness, did you go on a date in just a sweater, baby doll? Not even anything underneath?" He tsks nonchalantly, reaching down to free his hardness with one hand, sighing in relief at the feel of some contact where he needed it. "D'you think he saw your nipples through dinner?"

It's when you squirm, much to his delight as you stare up at the ceiling. "Oh, God, I didn't even think of that..." You eventually sigh, and he waits for you to continue. "I don't know, he just... he's not quite as interesting."

He wonders what you meant by that. He wonders what to say, but you are quick to add more.

"It's not like I want to fall in love— I just..." Another sigh, the sound of movement as you roll over in bed. "I just want someone who'd do me no good. To fuck me up, just once, so I can understand it."

He chuckles, spitting on to his palm. "I can do that," he mutters, "how 'bout you take off your panties for me, doll?" He waits, judging from whatever sounds your phone picked up. "Well, don't act all demure, now. Use those li'l fingers of yours."

You obey, because it's Joel and he knows things. Because you thought you'd be getting fucked this evening. Because he paid for your time and it's the least you can do.

You listen to him as you slowly melt into the warm sheets, legs spread wide and two fingers shakily rubbing yourself. From the other end, you hear his speech interrupted by shaky grunts, some breaths, and even low, menacing growls.

"Tell me what'ya thought about, doll. When you think of me."

"Uh..." You feel a jolt of want rush through your skin as your fingers unintentionally speed up, leaving you moaning. "I-I... I think of your... your hands..." A whimper follows, making you bite your lip as you attempt to control yourself.

From the other end, Joel himself groans at the sounds you make, his own fist speeding up. "That's it... keep goin' and tell me, sweet pea..."

The image is clear in your head. His hands on your waist, cupping your aching breasts. You think of his desperate cock fucking you wide open in a way nothing satisfied you. You think of his hand tangled in your hair as he takes you from behind, held up only by his grasp. You think of his growling against your neck, teeth running carefully across the surface of your skin before he sucks a trail of hickeys down your wanton body.

You think of him telling you how good you are. You, you, and only you.

Meanwhile, he directs you between his own laboured breaths. If anything, he keeps a clear head about it anyway. "That's it, pretty baby, get one finger in for me..." The sensation is enough to make you whine, whilst he chuckles at how needy you sounded. "S'good, yeah? Pull out your fingers f'me and get a pillow between your thighs..."

It's so easy to obey when you're at the very brink of an orgasm. It's so easy to tear down the walls you built when all you ever wanted is presented to you on a silver platter. You put him on speaker, setting it on the bedside table before you get on your knees, grabbing the nearest pillow, lip bitten as you position yourself.

"Imagine me under ya, baby. Y'like my hands, didn't'cha? Imagine them guidin' you back and forth..."

You squeeze your eyes shut and it's so easy. Your hips grinding down on the pillow, cunt spread open and giving the pressure it so desperately called for. You could almost imagine Joel's cockhead, notching just quite there at the very fold of your cunt, but not quite going in.

So you grind against the pillow, pretending it's Joel and pretending he's grunting your ear, driven by praises and compliments while you cry out in pleasure.

"Stop right fuckin' now, sweet pea, or I end the call."

You pause, shakily, eyes teary as you hear the wet squelch of Joel's fist moving against his cock. "Oh, please, just let me... I was so close, Joel!" You groan, hanging your head as you chew on your lip. Your fists clench the sheets below as you wait for him to let you continue.

"On one condition, darlin'. You better stop runnin' after those stupid college boys who don't know the first thing about takin' care of you."

You take pause, trying to bear the weight of his words with the call of your cunt. You do not know how he grits his teeth at the other end, trying to hold off from his own orgasm, driven by the idea of the two of you cumming together despite being miles apart.

"I... you—"

"Five seconds, doll."

You gulp, clenching as you try and not to give in to the urge to move your hips. "Fine! Fine, fine, fine—"

"Good." He takes in a sharp breath, growling as images of you, his very own personal whore, so fucking willing to obey him, no matter what it is he asked for. "Make yourself cum for me, doll. S'alright. Such a good girl..."

You cry out, words of thanks bubbling from your mouth as you resume your movements once more. You call for him, telling him you're so close as you come closer and closer to the very crest you've been wanting all night.

"C'mon, come with me, baby. You wanna be good, don't ya?"

It's always more than enough. As if just one provocation from him is enough to send a chain reaction through you. You let him know, and he counts you down together.

Five. Your knees quake just as you hear Joel's breath grow more ragged.

Four. He says it through gritted teeth while your left hand grips on to the headboard for some sense of balance.

Three. You tell him you might not last for long but one growl for him makes you learn your place.

Two. You're begging and begging and begging, breath held and teeth clenched. He shuts his eyes before he sees stars.

One. It's so close you both can taste it.

Cum for me, baby, fuck, yes, yes yes—

For a moment, you are caught in a riptide of inexplicable high, vision going bright white momentarily before lulling you into a daze.

A beat passes. Then another.

Fuck.

Fuck.

You better not be falling in love with him.

[missingexaltation]

Here's a bit of a meta analysis on Eddie and Steve and the general jock/nerd thing. It's worth pointing out that they're still only 19/20ish so they're slightly entitled to be somewhat selfish idiots, but they're at that time of life where they're starting to grow out of it.

There's so many positive reblogs on my last but one text post (where Eddie gets involved with Steve's hobbies) and I find it so interesting that it's not really explored in fic.

I mean...Steve's trying to 'grow as a person' by embracing nerdy things and that's great! Stereotypical high school 'bully' becoming less of a douche bag.

But Eddie embracing the stereotype and doing 'normal' high school stuff? Sign me up! He's a guy that was probably bullied or harassed by the jocks for at least some part of school before he grew hard skin. He's actively (and loudly) denounced them to their faces and protected younger nerdy/outcast kids.

Of course he's going to think sports are shit. That's what those dumb, bullying morons enjoy more than anything, so it's gotta be bad, right? (Hell, you can even take it further and say that his own dad used to beat the shit out of him as a kid if he made a noise when The Game was on.)

So he's prejudiced against the jocks (for a reason, but that's not the point), all while shouting at the top of his lungs about conformity and the bullshit about being a sheep. Yet all he's doing is conforming to a different stereotype, and not really realising it.

It's not until he meets up and speaks with Chrissy that he realises he's judging her without knowing her, and quickly rectifies it by being nicer. Then she dies and he couldn't save her. She was popular and sporty...but she was sweet and nice, and didn't deserve what happened to her.

Then Steve happens. Former Poster Boy for Jocks, and yet he's not a piece of shit either. But Steve's different, he tells himself. Steve's actually a nerd in wolf's clothing. He comes to D&D even if he doesn't play. He watches Star Wars and hangs out with 'unpopular' kids. He's 'better' now. He's learned his lesson.

It doesn't occur to him that Steve's trying to change himself to fit in, and still enjoys all of his own hobbies. He just does it either in secret, or ashamed when 'caught'. So Eddie doesn't see anything wrong. He's been proven right...THE Jock is in their nerdy little group so he's completely validated.

So maybe one night they're all at the Munson's, playing D&D. Except Steve's nowhere to be seen. During a breakin the campaign, he's found in the other room with Wayne and Hopper, watching the football. And Eddie makes some comment or another about Steve backsliding into sports.

And before Steve can say anything, Wayne tells him to stop bullying Harrington into his interests, and let the poor kid enjoy the football if that's what he wants to do.

And Eddie's mortified.

He finishes the campaign for the night on autopilot, the Game ends, and everyone else goes home, oblivious to what those earlier ten seconds has done to Eddie's psyche. Wayne's sitting there with his last beer of the night, and Eddie joins him, quiet and contemplative.

'I'm not a bully.' He says. 'I'm not like my dad.'

And Wayne just looks at him, smile on his face.

'I know.' He says. 'But you can't force everyone to like only your things, son. Just because you don't like football or basketball doesn't mean your friends have to feel the same.'

And Eddie thinks about it. He thinks about it for days. Steve never really complains. Sure he makes comments now and again, but Eddie's taken that as 'Steve's jock side coming out' instead of 'Steve just being frustrated, bored and lonely'. And Eddie can't ignore the feeling that he's actually the one being a total dick right now.

Steve's learnt his lesson. Eddie hasn't.

Steve 'the former douchebag' Harrington is a great guy, and Eddie is unconsciously taking advantage of it to validate himself. He feels like shit.

So he goes to Steve and apologises. But Steve's confused. He still thinks he needs to make reparations for his high school years, like he's conforming in their group as a penance. And Eddie hates himself a little more, because what the fuck. That's what Steve thinks of himself? And Eddie's partially responsible for enabling that, for letting the kids make him feel like that.

So he apologises again, and tell Steve that he's not gong to let it slide anymore. That if he ever wants to go and do something he enjoys, Eddie's down for it. That Steve doesn't need to be at D&D if he wants to watch the sports instead.

He also stops mocking Steve's taste in music, stops trying to force his own music on everyone else, and steps in whenever any of the kids try to do the same. And pretty damn quickly, Steve starts flourishing.

He and Eddie take the kids to the basketball courts, and Steve tries to teach them how to play, before giving up and going 1v1 with Lucas while the others just bounce the spare ball between them and make up their own game. It's fun, and completely outside Eddie's comfort zone, but it's fun.

Steve gets the confidence to start negotiating Eddie's campaign nights when there's an important game on the TV. Half the kids want to watch it with Wayne, Hopper (and weirdly enough, Mrs Henderson). Eddie usually joins them but either reads his book, sits at the table painting his minis, or falls asleep on Steve's lap. Sports just don't interest him, but that's ok too.

It's compromise.

[sakumz]

____________________________________________

a/n : been obsessed with toshiki masuda lately not lately AGAIN. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OMF HJSHDHAJSJ anyways happy valentines

[ s. rei x gn reader ]

____________________________________________

rei sakuma... a plague living in your mind. how can you avoid that outstanding creature when he's everywhere or at least that was what you can spot the last few days.

you were running some grocery errands late last night. who did you bump into? rei sakuma. he, too, was doing some late night shopping. he said its better for him to do it at night as he's more active, therefore strong enough to carry his grocery and offer that he could carry yours as well. you scoff and rejected the offer and bid farewell, leaving the vampire alone.

you were having lunch with kaoru the other day. did rei pop out again? yes, he did. he joked about how kaoru was "cheating on him" and how kaoru was "stolen" by you! kaoru could only laugh bitterly at his friend and apologise to you for your sudden change of mood. you were glaring, clearly pissed off at the ruby eyed man. you just wanted to share some company with the blonde, seeing as he was alone in the cafeteria. he seemed to enjoy your company, striking a conversation with you until rei came. you excused yourself shortly after rei sat and starting yapping your ear off about stealing kaoru.

this was the last straw! you bumped into rei along the corridors. falling from the impact as he offers a hand.

" no stop, " you push his hand away.

" what? " he questions.

" why are you following me around, stalker? " you brush yourself up as he stares bewildered.

" oh, " he softly chuckles.

" coincidence? " you pout at his words. you can't believe him. he smiles at your reaction.

as you stand up, ready to walk away. you see rei at the corner of your eye, walk behind you. what's with him? you turn around ready to question and give him a piece of your mind when you're stopped by another man.

" hey, l/n. did you see kuma-kun? " izumi says. you can't help but laugh a little as you point behind you.

kuma-kun, sakuma was behind you after all. izumi shoots you an annoyed glare.

" not that sakuma, " he sighs as he rubs his forehead.

" yeah I'm aware, I didn't see him though. " izumi sighs once more before bidding you and rei farewell to continue his search for his fellow member.

" well? you can't be following me everywhere now, can you? " rei's silence was definitely deafening.

" happy valentines? " he walk past you as fast as the words were spilled.

you continued on with your day. everything felt oddly normal. it's the day of love, you received and handed chocolates. you had prepared chocolate for rei too. it was odd if you gave chocolate to everyone from undead and his brother than him. you couldn't give him, his earlier since your bag wasn't with you. you contemplated between finding him or going home. you could give him tomorrow. its already 6 pm, would he still be here?

you decide to walk around the garden, for once you hope he'd be here. he was indeed there with kaoru no less.

" oh... hey y/n! " kaoru greets first, hoping you'll save him from the grip rei has on his arm.

" hey... " you greet back.

" it's late, are you going home soon? " rei starts.

" kinda, I still have one last thing to do. " you mumbled as rei gave you a soft smile, letting kaoru go.

" I'll walk you home then, meet me at the gates. " rei instructed and you obeyed. it was suffocating to be there, you felt.

walking home with rei was a special occurrence. he wasn't as chatty as you expected, he listens and prompts the conversation. arriving at your doorstep, you're quick to stop him from turning on his heels.

" here. " you hand him the chocolate as he blushes a bit at the action.

" thank you, " he says.

" happy valentines. " you reply.

he takes a step forward and gives you kiss on the cheek. " be honest, you like me too? " he laughs.

" I do, but you're annoying! " you playfully scolded as he laughs once more.

[torreshalstead]

what if your eyes looked up and met mine (one last time)

Summary - She must be hallucinating, he couldn’t really be here could he?

But the stranger at the bar was so incredibly familiar; the wave in his hair, the slope of his shoulders, his jacket. She knew that jacket. It used to hang in their apartment.

When he turned around she realised it wasn’t a figment of her imagination.

Jay Halstead was here. In D.C.

Notes - This is set in a slightly different universe to the previous fix-it I posted but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🫶🏻 also this is my 30th Upstead story! Happy Reading! ❤️ AO3 Link

It didn’t quite feel like home yet but she had started to settle in.

Hailey had been in DC for 3 months, she had found an apartment that fitted her perfectly and was well within her budget so had managed to move out of the government funded accommodation a month ago and if she never saw a mattress that thin again it would be too soon. Apparently memory foam was not something they had ever heard of. She had fallen in love with the coffee from a little shop round the corner from her new place and had quickly become a regular who no longer needed to give her order when she entered. She had continued with her running and had swapped the Chicago Lakefront Trail for the Mall, the early morning sun hitting the white sand just right as she tallied up the miles although now she was running because she enjoyed it not to keep her mind busy. A small change in mindset now allowed her to find the joy in the activity and look forward to the times she was able to pull on her running shoes and head out the door. She had made an effort to get out and explore on her weekends rather than sitting inside by herself and had ticked off a couple of the museums already.

No, it didn’t feel like home yet, but she was happy.

She had lived in Chicago all her life but here no one knew who she was, she was just another agent on a case or just another customer in a shop. The name Hailey Upton didn’t have anything attached to it, no history with her father, no ties to a unit with a less than pristine reputation, no failed marriage. Here, Hailey could be whoever she wanted to be.

She had tried to be more approachable and friendly at work, taking up her coworkers on their offers for after work drinks or sitting with them in the cafeteria at lunch time. It was baby steps but it was working - she had even been added to a group chat that she still hadn’t muted which was an achievement within itself.

When Hailey went home each day to the apartment which was still sparsely decorated but was purely her own, she knew she had made the right decision leaving her old life behind. Sure the goodbye’s had been difficult, walking away from everything and everyone she knew for a new city had been a lot but she had never once regretted it. The age old saying that a change is as good as a rest seemed to be ringing true, at least for her.

Hailey was just tidying up her desk, the stacks of files were threatening to topple over if they didn’t get returned to the filing cabinets soon when she glanced a look at the clock on the far wall.

6:30pm

And she was the only person left in the open plan office space. If this was Intelligence they would all still be there, ignoring the want to go home, pushing the thought of a home cooked meal to the back of their heads when the takeout was ordered or the vending machine raided. Kim would be on the phone to the sitter apologising again that the case had run long and they wouldn’t be home as early as planned. Intelligence had taken over every aspect of their lives and it wasn’t until she started her new job and had the opportunity to see what a work life balance was supposed to be that she even realised it. It was like they had been wearing blinders for years and she had finally been given the opportunity to take them off and see everything that had been hidden.

She was still learning not to be the last one out the building every night, but it was a learning curve.

Hailey remembered she had agreed to meet some of her colleagues at a wine bar downtown tonight. It wouldn’t have been her first choice of venue but it was all part of her new mantra to say yes to things and to expand her social horizons so she had agreed to go. She probably should have remembered an hour ago and then she would have had enough time to go home and get changed into something more appropriate for the location but she had gotten distracted and now it would be cutting it a little close to the time they were supposed to meet as it was. Still, she pulled the hair tie out of her hair and shook out her loose waves, took off her blazer and draped it over the back of the chair and headed out the door. Small steps she thought as she made her way out of the building and down the street.

Maybe they’ll serve whiskey at this wine bar, she thought.

That had been wishful thinking but she had been greeted with a large glass of Pinot Noir when she had arrived and Sandra, the loud and bubbly brunette who worked two desks over from Hailey, had ordered some olives and nibbles for the table which was well received.

The wine was nice, the company was pleasant and even Hailey had to admit the bar had a nice atmosphere. It was busy, most of the high top tables were full and there were people standing around just enjoying the music that was echoing from a duo of string players in the corner who were playing softly. In Chicago it would have been the sort of place that Hailey would have walked past and never dreamt of going in, she may have even scoffed if someone had suggested it but as she accepted a second glass of wine from the waiter, she realised she was enjoying it.

Maybe she could be a new version of herself in this city, one that enjoys wine over whiskey she thought as she listened in to the conversation about two people that she had only met once and whether they may or may not be starting a relationship.

Hailey was just thinking she should probably call it a night, she had planned to run a few miles in the morning before her shift when someone sitting at the bar caught her eye. It was a familiar head of brown hair, the slope of the shoulders, ones she would never forget thanks to how many times she had run her hands over them, a brown jacket that used to hang by the door in an apartment she used to share.

Used to share with her husband.

Her ex-husband.

Who was still in South America and wouldn’t be in DC.

But as he turned his head slightly, and her eyes locked on his, she felt her stomach drop onto the beautiful roman tiled floor.

She ripped her eyes away from his and stared at her empty glass, the dregs of the maroon liquid doing nothing to still her mind from the realisation that Jay, her ex-husband Jay Halstead, was sitting in the bar with her.

Should she go over and speak to him?

Surely if he wanted to speak to her, he would have approached her.

But then maybe he wasn’t sure she wanted to speak to him.

Hell, she wasn’t sure herself.

Her mind was running a mile a minute, scenario after scenario pulling to the surface only to melt away and be replaced with another one before she had time to comprehend the first. A huge part of her wanted to run. To turn and exit the bar, return to the relative safety of her apartment and wash her mind of ever seeing him again.

But another part of her wanted to see him, to speak to him, to confront him. To find out why the hell he was in her new city, in the very bar she was enjoying drinks at and just staring at her from across the room.

There was an aching in her heart, a tightening with each beat that couldn’t believe he was almost within touching distance. That if she just walked across the room, at most 10 paces, she could reach out and touch him, feel his skin against hers for the first time in years. And she wanted that more than she had ever let herself believe. She had told herself, lied to herself that she was over him. That the longing she had felt for months after he had left had disappeared, fizzled out and if she ever did get the opportunity to see him again, she wouldn’t want to, she could be the stronger person and turn away. She knew, as she looked at him in that moment, that she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t turn away.

‘I’ll be right back,’ she whispered to Yvette, the older lady who reminded Hailey of Trudy who was sitting next to her. She nodded in acknowledgment before returning her attention to the conversation which had now shifted to a local musical festival they were all thinking of attending the following week.

Hailey slid off her stool and walked over to the bar. To Jay. It felt like she was walking through molasses on the coldest day of the year when the snow was 3 feet deep. Each step felt harder, heavier and longer than the last, like it was an optical illusion and she wasn’t getting any closer to her intended target. In both less time and more time than she hoped though, she was just a step behind him.

As if sensing her presence, he turned around.

‘You grew your beard out,’ she said quietly, her eyes roaming over the familiar but unfamiliar features.

‘You cut your hair,’ he said, his own eyes locked on her face.

‘It suits you,’ she said.

‘It suits you,’ he echoed.

They stayed staring at each other in silence, essays of unsaid words hanging between them, speeches that neither wanted to start but both wanted to speak.

It was Jay who broke the silence. ‘I understand if you want to say no, but can we talk?’

‘It’s loud in here,’ was all Hailey said, she still wasn’t fully able to comprehend the situation she had walked herself into.

‘Tomorrow?’ He suggested, his eyes wide in hope but his voice gentle without any pressure. He was leaving the ball firmly in her court.

She nodded before the brain cells that controlled her speech had time to wake up and realise what the ones controlling her movements had done.

‘Outside the Natural History?’ He offered, his shock at her acquiescence obvious. ‘We can walk, maybe grab a coffee?’

‘Okay,’ she said, not louder than a whisper but he heard her. ‘Before work, 7.’ She added flatly and he nodded in agreement.

‘7 it is,’ he smiled and Hailey had to battle every part of her that wanted to fall into his arms at the look of that smile, every part of her that wanted to ignore every moment of the last two years, every tear, every unanswered phone call, every angry thought and just feel his arms around her again.

She turned around and headed back towards the table with her colleagues on it, feeling like she was a character in a video game that someone had just made walk in this direction, her movements not her own. And then when she turned back towards the bar and saw the empty bar stool and untouched whiskey glass on the counter, she wondered if she had imagined the whole moment entirely.

Because why would Jay Halstead be in DC?

Why would he be in this bar?

Maybe the two glasses she had drunk had been stronger than she thought, because the chances were just too slight. It must have been a hallucination - it was the only explanation.

——————————————————————————

‘I didn’t think you’d show,’ Jay said as she approached where he was sitting on a bench outside the Museum. Considering it was now 7:45 and they had agreed to meet at 7, it was a fair assumption. With anyone else she would have been shocked they had waited that long, but not with Jay.

‘I wasn’t sure I would,’ she admitted, her shoulders raising in a small shrug. She stood awkwardly a couple of feet away from him, unsure if she should take a seat and still not certain she had made the right decision to show up this morning anyway.

‘I’m glad you did,’ Jay said, his voice thick with honesty and genuine thanks. ‘Shall we walk?’ He asked.

Hailey nodded and the pair fell into step with each other quietly walking up the mall. The early summer sun was reflecting off the sand and Hailey wished she had had the forethought to grab her sunglasses on the way out of her front door. She had been slightly frazzled this morning so they hadn’t even factored on her radar, she had been more concerned with what she should wear. What did one wear when meeting up with your ex-husband who you definitely still had some sort of mixed up feelings for and hadn’t seen in two years and had appeared out of the blue? It wasn’t exactly something she could google - she didn’t imagine many people had the same issue.

She had settled on her navy blue work slacks and a pale grey short sleeved shirt with pleats running down the front. It was relatively non descript but it was also completely new. It was part of her DC wardrobe and as such meant it had no memories of them or their relationship weaved into the stitches. It was clean.

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes before Hailey broached the topic that had kept her awake and staring at her ceiling for half the night.

‘Why are you here Jay?’ It wasn’t accusatory, it wasn’t angry, it was simply matter of fact. A question she wanted to know the answer to.

‘Guess I should lead with that,’ he said. She could feel him looking at her, a glance of his eyes and a slight head movement every couple of seconds but she kept her focus straight ahead. It gave her the grounding she needed. ‘I went back to Chicago, to find you but you weren’t there.’

Of all the things she had expected to come out of his mouth, that wasn’t it. It shocked her to the point she came to a stand still, her eyes leaving their spot on the horizon she had been focused on to stare at him, her mouth a gasp. He smiled bashfully before continuing on their walk, Hailey a step behind him as it took her a moment to regain the ability to continue forward motion.

‘I went back and Trudy told me where you were. Took a little bit but she said you’d got a new job, she might have threatened me a little before telling me. So I got on a flight and came here.’ He spoke as if it was a foregone conclusion, like why else would he have done anything else. ‘I didn’t call because I didn’t want to impose on your new life.’ He added after a beat.

‘So you stalked me instead?’ Hailey quipped back.

‘You make it sound nefarious, but it wasn’t like that. I just thought if it was meant to be then I’d run into you, I went to a couple of bars close to where you worked and then I saw you.’

Hailey was trying to take in what he was saying but she was struggling to understand.

‘It was meant to be? Since when do you believe in fate?’

‘Since it led me to that bar and back to you.’

Hailey’s breath hitched in her throat, his words washing over her like a cold front.

‘What would you have done if you didn’t see me in a bar?’ She asked.

‘I hoped I would.’

‘And if you didn’t?’

‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet,’ he admitted, his boots scruffing lightly against the sand as they continued their way south on the mall. The silence was thicker now after his reveal that he had come here to find her. Before that moment Hailey could have written it off as purely a coincidence, that it had been just one of those moments that you couldn’t explain when you ran into somebody from your past in a place you least expected to see them.

‘What did Trudy say?’ Hailey asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

‘Told me I needed to be sure of what I wanted before I saw you, that if I got on the plane to you it needed to be for good this time, I couldn’t leave again,’ he echoed the sergeant's words back to her. ‘And I am Hailey, I am sure.’

She swallowed and nodded her head - he might be sure but that didn’t mean she was. She didn’t know what she was.

‘So you’re back?’

‘I am,’ he agreed.

‘Did it work? Getting away?’

‘No,’ he answered without taking a breath, without a single hesitation impacting his gait. ‘It made me lose you.’

‘You lost me when you walked away,’ she said without bitterness. The bitterness had ebbed away after the first few months, it was hollowness now that took its place.

‘I know I did, and I have never regretted anything more,’ Jay said, his voice cracking slightly.

‘Why didn’t you come back?’ She asked, hating the brokenness that tinged her voice, the pain that was still evident in her words. ‘Why didn’t you fight for us?’ For me.

‘I was a coward,’ Jay said. She stole a glance to her left, to see the man who for years she had known better and more intimately than anyone else, have genuine pain etched across his face, even the newly grown in beard couldn’t disguise it - his eyes told her everything she needed to know. ‘Didn’t think you’d want me and before I had plucked up the courage, the strength to reach out to you and be honest and admit my mistake, you filed for divorce.’

‘You stopped fighting, I had to too.’

‘And I never blamed you for it, I understood. As much as it hurt, I understood Hailey. I still do.’

‘You signed them,’ she said, the question unasked but obvious.

‘Of course I did,’ he said surely. ‘You asked me to.’

His words were true enough, she had asked him to. When she had filed and knew that the papers had been sent to him she sent him a text, a singular line and asked him to sign them. She had assumed he had wanted to and he never responded. Her message sitting on read until she had stopped looking at their previous conversations and had hidden them from view.

‘But you came anyway.’

‘I tried to be happy without you, to move on, you clearly were so-’

‘I was a mess Jay,’ she interrupted him. She needed him to know the truth, she didn’t know why but that she knew for certain. She couldn’t have him believe that she had brushed him off and that his leaving hadn’t left a deep hole in her that she was still healing day after day.

‘You left Chicago.’

‘I did, I got a new job and came here and I like it, Jay. I really do.’

‘Are you happy?’

She took a moment to respond, to consider his words, the question he was asking. ‘I am.’

‘That’s all that matters,’ Jay said lightly. She wanted to look at him again, to see if his face matched the words that he was speaking but she couldn’t do it, she kept her focus down at the ground, watching as their feet walked in tandem.

‘Where will you go now?’ She asked, her mouth voicing a question she wished she didn’t care to hear the answer to. But she did.

‘That depends,’ Jay said.

‘On what?’ She asked, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.

‘If I burnt every bridge with you or if there’s even a slight chance I can earn your trust back.’

The belt that had been tight around her chest since she had seen him last night constricted even further, the breath in her lungs vanishing and her heartbeat quickening in an attempt to make up for it.

‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly, her thumb absentmindedly rubbing the spot on her ring finger that she still hadn’t got used to being empty.

‘That’s not a no,’ Jay spoke slowly, a voice she had often heard him use with children or people in pain on multiple cases. The voice he used when he didn’t want to spook them.

‘I need time Jay,’ she said breathlessly, the tightening not offering her any reprieve.

‘I’ll give you all the time you want, Hailey.’

‘I can’t be the only thing keeping you in DC,’ she said quickly. ‘You can’t stay here just for me.’

‘I’ve got an interview tomorrow. Training Academy with the feds. Thought it was time to try something new’

‘Good luck,’ she said and meant it. Jay had always excelled when training recruits, she had often imagined him taking up a position at the CPD academy when he decided field work wasn’t what he wanted anymore.

‘Can I let you know how it goes?’ He asked gently.

‘I’d like that,’ she felt the corners of her mouth upturn in a small smile. The first smile she had felt since spotting him on the bench and swallowed her pride to walk over to him.

‘And Hailey?’

‘Yes Jay.’

‘I truly am sorry.’

‘I know,’ she nodded. ‘I am too.’

‘Is it enough?’

‘It might be,’ she said. ‘I hope it is.’

‘Me too. Me too,’ he said and the silence fell over them again except this time it wasn’t as heavy or raw. It felt hopeful. Like the future she had once envisioned was coming back into focus again, a little changed, a little different but a possibility.

[charliedawn]

DEFECTIVE GOOD PART 7

General Hux gazed impassively out the viewport as the gleaming skyscrapers of Coruscant came into view. The planet swarmed with sentient beings of every species, their buzzing activity a hive-like magnification of what lurked within his own breast. Duty called him to this gathering of First Order elites, yet part of him would rather be anywhere but immersed in beings. A quiet presence at his side drew his gaze, finding JR-6025 attentively scanning the horizon as well. She seemed rather quiet and in deep silent contemplation before such a lively setting. He smiled. How strange that this trooper's calm company soothed him more than any other's.

"Your first time setting eyes on the galactic capital, I presume ?" He asked. She nodded, eyes wide with wonder behind her visor. A faint smile softened Hux's stern features. "It can be overwhelming. But, this city is at the very heart of the First Order. A place unlike any other. The center of all trades and a great well of knowledge for those who know how to look and listen."

JR-6025 remained quiet as she listened to his words.

"…Isn’t it the planet where Imperial cadets are trained ?" She asked. She had heard about the academy and the way Imperial cadets were trained…and of their cruel and cut-throat programme of training and indoctrination. She shivered just at the thought and glanced at general Hux. Hux's faint smile hardened at the mention of the Imperial academies scattered across Coruscant.

"Indeed, the Imperial doctrines were forged from fire here," he replied evenly. "No expense was spared in molding raw recruits into efficient extensions of the Empire's will. Survival of the fittest, they called it.."

His pale eyes softened as they met JR-6025's masked gaze. Instilling fear had its place as a control tactic, but when directed inward corroded even the finest steel over time.

"The First Order improves upon that legacy," he continued gently. "Where the Empire broke minds and hearts without care, we aim to temper souls into masterfully controlled weapons of precision and obedience through discipline, such is the way."

Reaching out, his leathered fingers brushed a subtle caress upon her armored wrist in a rare display of comfort. "Fear has its uses, JR-6025. It crafts the minds into perfections of order and obedience."

"…You have been through their training." She looked at him and noticed that even in the way he was sitting—there were the remnants of his education in the way he was positioned. He was straight and seemed tense all the time—ready for anything. She couldn’t even imagine how hard it must have been—for a child no less.

She wanted to apologise—but she knew it wouldn’t change anything. And besides, she couldn’t offer an apology for an ideology they were both fighting to keep and expand. She lowered her head and looked away. As the shuttle breached atmosphere and the bustling metropolis sprawled in all its dazzling chaos beneath.

She quickly stepped outside and looked around. It wasn’t like any planets she had ever visited. As a stormtrooper, JR-6025 had always been sent to rather unwelcoming planets or war-ridden places where the First Order wasn’t all powerful. But here…Here, the First Order was booming. She could see the banners and the civilisation buzzing with life. It was…not what she had expected from a planet ruled by the First Order. It was…alive. She looked back at general Hux—waiting for his instructions. A protocol droid came to get them and guided them to some big lodging with enough rooms to make her dizzy. Once the droid gone, she was once again reminded of general Hux’s presence and didn’t know what she should say or do…General Hux surveyed the grand accommodations with an impassive gaze, at home amid luxury yet still observing with a keen tactical eye. Turning to JR-6025, he noted her awestruck yet uncertain demeanor, familiar with her kind's unease away from familiar regimen.

"At ease, trooper. For the duration we are but diplomats, not dictated by ranks or codes. You may explore the grounds and experience what pleasures this gilded world has to offer," he said, voice modulated gentle yet commanding as ever. Then, a glint stirred in his steel gaze.

"Unless, of course, you'd care for a guide well-versed in Coruscanti intrigues ?" The faintest smirk edged his stern lips. For all his austerity, even he took secret delight in frivolities when duty permitted—and this trooper's company was growing from respite to something more anticipated.

"Come. I'll show you a sight that puts this plush prison to shame." Sweeping from the chamber, Hux waited for her by the door—to walk Coruscant streets alone, or witness its wonders through the eyes of one who knew both its light and shadows intimately.

She followed him dutifully.

Hux guided her through grand plazas and hovering skywalks with an intimate knowledge of the metropolis' layout. "There, that shaft leads to the Galactic Senate building. And beyond those spires lies the Jedi Temple ruins." His usually stern voice held a note almost conversational as he pointed out landmarks.

Coming to a high overlook, he paused. "Now this, troopers like yourself never see—the true heart of Coruscant, beating beneath the surface." Below stretched an endless metallic expanse, speeders whizzing between towering ziggurats and spiralling walkways.

JR-6025 gasped softly. Even Hux's usual aloof demeanour softened, taking in the breathtaking panorama with something like nostalgia. "Magnificent, is it not ? This planet's true majesty lies not in its gaudy glitter, but the ordered industry beneath."

"…Fascinating." She uttered in a whisper—her helmet hiding her expression of awe and admiration as to such marvel.

"…And the First Order controls it all ?"

General Hux's chest swelled with pride at her words. "Indeed. Through strength, discipline and vision, the First Order has brought unity and progress to this once fractured world."

He gazed out over the gleaming metropolis, each meticulously organized level a testament to his own exacting standards. "Chaos and corruption once reigned supreme, as the misguided Republic crumbled into warring fiefdoms. But we have restored order and stability through fair but firm rule."

Turning to JR-6025, his eyes shone with zealous conviction. "It is a vision that shall envelop the whole galaxy in time. World by world, system by system, the First Order will lift every being from lawless squalor toward their full potential." A faint smile curled his stern lips.

"I'm glad you witnessed this, trooper. Too often our true purpose is obscured by perception of brute force alone. But order, progression, enrichment of life—this is what we strive to cultivate across civilized space. And with operatives like yourself aiding our cause, ultimate triumph is assured."

"…And…what happens to those who cannot keep up with such modernity and its civilised ways ?" JR-6025 asked—already fearing the answer.

General Hux looked away and sighed.

"Not all worlds embrace progress willingly, it is true. Some peoples cling stubbornly to backward ways." He turned, leaning on the railing as his gaze grew stern. "Those who defy the Order's will and refuse our repeated offers of integration leave us little choice."

Hux studied his neatly gloved hands. "I will not lie—noncompliance is not tolerated. Planets deemed irredeemably hostile face...sanctions. Their infrastructure may be targeted to quash unrest and force capitulation." His voice hardened as he looked into the distance.

"It is an unpleasant reality, I know. But progress demands sacrifice. A few must suffer so many more may be lifted to new heights. Once integrated, even former dissidents enjoy improved standards of living under the Order's guidance."

Turning to her, his eyes softened. "It is not a path I relish, trooper. But as a strategist, I must consider the needs of the whole galaxy, and shape each world to maximize civilization's advance."

She hummed understandingly and leaned on the railing as well as her eyes took in the breathtaking sight once more.

"…Is it the reason you do it ? The reason you fight for the First Order. For civilization ? For a world where only order remains ?" She then looked at him. "…Or is it perhaps for glory ? A name to be made ? Do you wish for all to know the name of General Armitage Hux ?"

General Hux considered her questions carefully. This trooper had an uncanny ability to cut to the core of what moved him.

"At the start, perhaps ambition played too large a part in my designs," he admitted ponderously. "Rising through the ranks, establishing my House's legacy—such were primary motivators in my youth."

His stare grew distant, recalling origins steeped in shame seeking erasure through military might. But over decades shaping the First Order into an indomitable machine, perspective had evolved.

"In time, though, my vision expanded to encompass the galaxy entire. I came to understand the depths of rot and chaos that festered under the old regimes." Hux's eyes blazed with zealous belief.

"Order, discipline, unity of purpose—these are what shall propel the Order, and all civilization, to heights never dreamed. Through strength, we will forge a legacy not of one man, but of an eternal empire guiding the galaxy to peace and progress as never known."

His gaze found JR-6025's. "That, Trooper, is why I fight. And that vision alone shall see the First Order's legacy reign eternal."

She remained silent for a while before straightening up.

"…I know it is not my place to say, but I do believe in your greatness, sir. And I do admire your dedication to the First Order."

General Hux regarded the trooper with muted surprise. Few were so bold as to openly praise him so, yet her sincerity seemed beyond question. A warmth spread through him at her deep-seated loyalty, rare and precious as a Kyber crystal.

"Your belief in our cause is appreciated, JR-6025," he said quietly. Gazing out once more over the glittering expanse that was his vision given solid form, pride and purpose swelled within.

"It is operatives such as yourself, with unwavering dedication to duty and order, who will see the First Order truly triumph where all others have failed." Turning, he bestowed a small smile, meant as compliment beyond words.

"You have proven yourself an exceptional asset, Trooper. Therefore I am permitting you certain honors beyond your station." Reaching within his greatcoat, Hux produced a small metallic pin and fastened it to her armour himself.

"Wear this proudly—a token of my faith that together, through discipline and unity of purpose, we shall build a legacy to endure the millennia." His eyes gleamed with the weight of gloried futures yet to be forged through will and strength of arms.

She looked down at the pin and blinked twice in surprise before returning her gaze on general Hux.

"Thank you, sir." She felt proud and then lowered her voice as she whispered. "…And allow me to say that I believe in YOU. Always have. Always will."

General Hux stiffened almost imperceptibly at her hushed yet fervent pledge. Few had dared voice such intimate faith. Yet, he sensed no trap nor pretense—only steadfast belief in his vision, and in his leadership to see it realized.

Slowly, his stern features softened. "Your loyalty is a razor's edge, trooper, and all the sharper for it. In you I have indeed found a weapon to surpass even my calculations."

Grasping her pauldron gently, he gazed into her visored gaze with an intensity rarely afforded any being. "Together we have risen far, you and I. But farther still our empire shall reach, built on the cornerstones of faith like yours. Know that your dedication touches something deeper than mere strategy or protocol."

Releasing her, Hux turned once more to survey the glittering jewels below with a general surveying hard-won dominion. But within swelled a heat unfamiliar yet not unwelcome, born of her whispered oath.

"You speak frankly, JR-6025, beyond your station." His voice remained low yet modulated, gaze searching hers intently. Within her visor's reflective surface swam no guile or manipulation—only pure sincerity and deeper currents he dared not name.

"Greatness is a perception. Power, attainment, glory—these are but externals. To have earned even a single being's...faith, in what lies within..." Emotions ever elusive yet complexly woven through his being surfaced briefly, crafting a solemn sincerity upon lips more accustomed to disdain. "You honour me deeply, trooper. I swear to prove myself worthy of such belief, through strength of will and vision to forge a legacy of which we both may be proud."

She chuckled.

"Me ? Oh no, general. Not for me. For you see…If it is my validation you seek. You can have it. All of it. My faith in you never wavered. Never. Not once. You have nothing to prove to me—or to anyone. I know that you wish to prove yourself, but allow me to tell you that you…"

She took a step towards him and tilted her head.

"…you have NOTHING to prove. Your legacy is made. You are the general of the most powerful army in the galaxy…If I was being honest ? I strive to one day be but a little bit the man that you are."

General Hux stood immobilized as her impassioned speech washed over him. Never had any soul expressed such devoted faith in his intrinsic worth. Moments passed as he searched her visored gaze, finding only ardent sincerity meeting his own widened eyes. Then, slowly, warmth bloomed within like the dawning of some unknown sun. His lips curved ever so slightly, touched by unseen gentleness.

"Your loyalty astounds me, JR-6025...as does your perception." Lifting a hand, he softly traced the curve of her mask, longing to glimpse the eyes beneath lending him such unexpected solace.

"There is no praise I could offer to equal what I have heard from you." His palm lingered, transmitting a pulse of gratitude, respect—and something deeper, kindling in a heart that had long forgotten how to hope. At last, Hux smiled. "Come. It is time to get ready for the gathering ahead."

She smiled underneath her helmet.

"As you wish, sir."

She started walking back next to him and looked around at the city around them.

General Hux walked beside JR-6025 in reflective silence as they took in the glittering cityscape. An unseen burden had lifted from his shoulders, leaving room to truly see anew the magnificence wrought through his driven hand. Every gleaming tower and speeding airspeeder bore witness to his will given manifest form. Yet where before he saw only a machine of conquering supremacy, now deeper layers of meaning emerged. Here dwelled untold multitudes, each soul with potential to thrive and better the whole through unity and purpose.

His gaze found JR-6025 at his side, the spark that ignited this shifting perception. Within her words no judgement dwelt, only pure and unadulterated faith. And for her belief alone, worlds newly opened within his hardened heart. Coruscant shone ever brighter as in her companionship, new vision dawned.

General Hux’ protocol droid K-4 came to them when they were walking back to their lodging and informed him:

"Sir. It is. 6. pm. 1 hour and 30 minutes remaining until the. Gathering. You have. To. Get prepared."

General Hux nodded promptly before another droid came to lead JR-6025 to her bedroom where clothes and a mask had been provided for the night. General Hux quickly prepared to get dressed for the gathering. Once he was dressed, he went to JR-6025’s door and knocked.

"JR-6025. It is time to go."

He heard a faint commotion inside.

"Yes, general. I apologise. I am still getting dressed." General Hux nodded.

"Very well. No need to apologise. Take your time." General Hux waited patiently for Jr-6025 to finish up so they could head to the gathering. A few minutes passed and General Hux could still hear noises from her room. General Hux grew slightly impatient as he waited outside her door.

When she finally got out, she was dressed in the beautiful midnight gown with star-like patterns that General Hux had asked a droid to give to her the night before. She had her hair braided and her face was covered with a mask that General Hux had personally chosen for the occasion. She didn’t know if she would look the part as his plus one, but she would certainly try…

General Hux’s eyes widened slightly when he caught a glimpse of JR-6025. She was actually quite beautiful in the dress he had ordered for her. The dress suited her and he couldn’t help but look at her with awe. General Hux stood silent, admiring her and couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She indeed looked the part as his plus one and he was quite happy with her appearance.

She remained silent, patiently awaiting judgment. General Hux was finally able to gather himself and was able to respond.

"I must say that the dress looks better on you than I had anticipated…"

General Hux slowly stepped forward and held his hand out to her, so she could take it and they could walk. She stared at his hand and smiled before hovering her hand over his.

"You know…It is not too late to change your mind." General Hux gave out a small laugh when she said this. For a split second, General Hux had that thought but quickly shook it off. General Hux was determined to have JR-6025 by his side and he was not going to change his mind now. General Hux slowly nudged his hand forward as he wanted JR-6025 to take his hand. He was already imagining the two of them walking into that gathering together. He kept smiling and was patiently waiting for her to finally take his hand.

She sighed in defeat and finally took it.

General Hux was pleased to see her take his hand and remained silent as they began to walk. He didn’t speak but, he was trying to fight the feeling of just wanting to stop walking and keeping her hand locked with his. JR-6025 stopped just as they were about to walk into the room. She held her breath. She hadn’t been nervous until that very moment. General Hux noticed that JR-6025 had gone completely silent and had stopped walking. He looked over to her and realized that she was starting to get nervous. He could sense her worry. He looked over at JR-6025 and spoke in a softer tone, so that she perhaps wouldn’t realize that she was going into this gathering with a First Order general.

"You’re doing fine. There’s nothing to be nervous about. You just need to stay by my side."

General Hux was now trying to comfort her. He smiled and spoke in a soft but reassuring tone. But, JR-6025 was starting to realise just how out of depth she was about to be…

"…What if I fail ? What if I embarrass you ?"

General Hux smiled and chuckled.

"You won’t fail. You won’t embarrass me either, JR-6025. You have got nothing to worry about. Just stay calm and I promise that you won’t disappoint me. All I need you to do is stand by my side and be yourself. It is quite simple."

"Will you guide me ?" She asked and instinctively squeezed his hand. General Hux smiled and gave a soft nod.

"Yes. I will guide you. All you have to do is stick by my side. Keep yourself calm and let me handle the rest. We’re going to be fine."

She nodded.

"What if people ask questions ?"

General Hux smiled and looked over at her as they walked.

"They won’t ask any questions. Just keep quiet and let me do all the talking. All you have to do is look pretty and stay by my side. That’s it."

She looked at him.

"What if something comes up and I cannot handle it ?"

General Hux looked over at her and spoke.

"That is not going to happen. Besides, I will be by your side to support you. All you need to do is simply stay calm and remain by my side. Keep your thoughts to yourself and don’t speak any more than you have to. You won’t disappoint me."

General Hux gave her a slight smile and gave her hand the slightest squeeze. He looked forward to getting through this gathering with her. General Hux felt something he had never really felt before. He didn’t know whether to love it or hate it. Part of him felt uncomfortable with this attachment he was feeling towards her but another part of him felt comfort from it. General Hux felt a little bit conflicted currently but he was trying to block out the negative thoughts.

She sighed and nodded before they started walking again and a thought passed through her head as they walked. A thought that made her shake her head in disbelief.

"…You could have had a princess." She uttered in a whisper and shook her head in disbelief. She deplored her own fate…General Hux was slightly surprised by her words when she whispered that he could have had a princess. The general then smiled and chuckled a little bit at her comment.

"Well…I didn’t want a princess. I wanted you."

JR-6025's breath caught behind her mask at the general's unexpected words. But before she could respond, the grand entryway loomed, filled with First Order elite in opulent finery. She gripped Hux's hand tighter for strength, sensing his own pulse quicken beneath pristine gloves. Then, his tone came firm and clear:

"Hold your head high. You are here as my equal, and any who question that will answer to me. Now, let us make our entrance—and start them wondering, shall we ?"

At her nod, they swept within together, the epitome of military poise and discipline. Yet beneath the surface, unfamiliar passions stirred, threatening long-held strictures. Would this forbidden dance end in the shattering of lives, or something more ? Announced, they began mingling amid lavish festivities. JR-6025 kept finely tuned to each subtle cue from Hux, charming dignitaries with poised discussion of policy. Her wit and intelligence impressed all—all save one, a visiting Lord who eyed her mask with disdain.

"A trooper, General ? I expected a worthier guest for our great general…." The man smirked.

General Hux's steely gaze cut to the haughty lord, smiling politely yet with an edge like a vibroblade. "Only results and loyalty impress me, Lord Javis. I find both attributes in my companion in quantities vastly exceeding your own."

Taking JR-6025's gauntleted hand securely in his, Hux lifted it to graze a subtle kiss upon her knuckles, never breaking the petulant lordling's stare. "While you quibble over trivialities, my associate excels at objectives that truly matter. So I suggest directing your contempt towards more productive ends."

As Javis sputtered—so did JR-6025. She hadn’t expected such a gesture from general Hux who then proceeded to ignore her eyes wide open in surprise. He turned smoothly to introduce JR-6025 to another esteemed officer. "Colonel Versio, allow me to present Trooper JR-6025—recently promoted to my personal attaché. Her strategic mind and courage in the field have proven time and again why she deserves the recognition."

Gleaming proudly beneath her mask, JR-6025 addressed Versio respectfully yet without reserve as to the extent of her admiration towards Colonel Versio’s recent wins on the battlefield. All the while, at her side Hux watched with an appreciative smile, pleased his plus one shone where superficial courtiers like Javis forever stumbled. Her radiance tonight far outshone any gem in the glittering hall—it was a light he found himself craving, like the true North star in this realm of false lights and misguiding beacons.

After that, JR-6025 seemed to play her part as the good company of general Hux. Her conversation was correct and quite interesting, but she then let general Hux do most of the talking as she decided to obey him and just stand by his side as he spoke. She looked around and saw people talking and dancing and eating…There were so many people, so many members and allies of the First Order…General Hux continued to walk with JR-6025 as they saw the many guests gathered within the room. General Hux noticed that JR-6025 was still holding onto his arm and he proceeded to gently pull her closer to him as as they kept walking from guest to guest. General Hux made sure to introduce her to many of the guests. JR-6025 smiled at them, but didn’t talk out of turn or without being absolutely sure that her words wouldn’t be considered offensive.

The evening proceeded smoothly, with JR-6025 charming all in attendance with her subtle wit and insightful discussion. Ever at Hux's side, she observed each interaction keenly, learning the intricate dance of power politics.

"You handle yourself admirably, as expected," Hux whispered to her with a small smile. She smiled back and didn’t say anything…not until she overheard people talking nearby and her blood froze in her veins.

"General Hux…How dare he show his face after such disgrace ?"

"The Starkiller base’s destruction. Such tragedy."

"Doesn’t he have any shame ?"

"To think he lost the Starkiller base..."

"No wonder. He is but a bastard. The rejected son of Commandant Brendol Hux and some kitchen woman…"

General Hux stayed silent as he attempted to avoid listening to them. He was tired and didn’t need to say anything. He knew many would be spitting on his name tonight…JR-6025 suddenly stopped walking however and all muttering and dark whispering stopped to look at her. She then detached herself from the General’s arm and looked around fearlessly at all who had dared insult the General. A bunch of snakes with venomous poison dripping from their gapping jaws…

"How DARE you ?! General Hux was at the origin of the Starkiller base ! He single-handedly annihilated the New Republic by destroying Hosnian Prime ! He is the closest general to have ever completely wiped out the Rebellion ! He promoted the development of new technology that allowed the First Order fleet to track targets through hyperspace ! So, if you dare question his competence as a First Order member ? Then, I invite you all to question your own judgment and investment to the new order !" She declared loudly and all the faces turned towards her in shock and she scrutinised each of them with a glare.

General Hux listened to JR-6025 and bit back a smile as no one dared to object. He knew he ought to stop letting her make a fool of herself—but he was too stunned and happy to care. He was enjoying thoroughly the way the other members all fell silent in front of the girl—the only one who he had ever heard stood up for him. Supreme Leader Snoke had always favoured Kylo and he had never felt good enough…but she had changed his perspective just by speaking her truth.

General Hux couldn’t help but be stunned by her declaration. His eyes were wide and he couldn’t stop smiling at how proud he felt towards her. General Hux watched as everyone fell silent and was actually shocked at this small stormtrooper standing up for him and making them all look foolish. General Hux was completely taken aback by this but at the same time he was incredibly proud of Jr-6025 for standing up for him like this. General Hux could clearly feel this attachment to her growing.

JR-6025 turned to face Hux once more, chin held high in defiance of all whispered slights. For a long moment their eyes held, an unspoken understanding passing between them amid the throng of onlookers frozen in shocked silence.

At last, Hux spoke, voice ringing cold and clear. "You have all witnessed trooper JR-6025's...fervent defense of my character and achievements. I expect any further disparaging remarks to be weighed...carefully, lest one find themselves sharing her candor."

A hush fell as his meaning chilled the sweltering air. Satisfied, Hux nodded dismissal, offering JR-6025 his arm once more. As they turned to circulate, he continued in lower tones:

"I thought I had made myself clear on your role that was to remain discreet and let me do the talking ?"

"I apologise, sir." She seemed genuinely ashamed as she lowered her head and General Hux chuckled.

"Hmm…No need." He replied before pulling her closer to whisper in her ear. "I’d take hearing you singing my praises over hearing one more platitude from any of them any day. I would however hate to see your own light dimmed by their venomous words…"

She met his gaze steadily. "There are greater risks than idle gossip, sir. And no star shines alone…Together, our light may eclipse all others."

A half-smile quirked his severe lips, approval and something more kindling unseen in pale eyes. "Ever the idealist, I see. We shall see if optimism serves where cynicism and strategy have...limitations. For now, circulate—but remain vigilant. Where vultures gather, carrion may not be far..."

Hux then swept onwards to mingle, leaving JR-6025 to contemplate deeper mysteries than any festive frivolity held.

She then proceeded to look around and let her ears catch onto any piece of information regarding the missing scavenger girl. If she was to hear of any clues concerning her whereabouts, they she could maybe use it to gain general Hux’s trust further without having to condemn Rey or Finn ? She hoped so anyway…JR-6025 circulated discreetly through the lavish festivities, discreetly gathering whispers and fragments amid gilded revelries. More and more, her sharp mind perceived subtleties in each dance of information, discerning truths obscures by artifice and agenda.

A scrap here, an inference there—slowly, clues accumulated. Through it all, her keen eyes followed General Hux across the glittering scene, observing with newfound understanding how he wielded calculation and charisma to subtle yet inexorable effect. Power, she learned, held many faces—and where best concealed, its grasp proved deepest.

At last, mingling brought reward. A passing dignitary, lubricated by libations, let slip cryptic word of Resistance missions targeting the Atzerri system. Piecing scraps within her processor's vault, hope kindled—if confirmed, this may aid the Finalizer's hunt while bolstering her standing with General Hux.

Sequestering her newfound knowledge, JR-6025 emerged renewed into the festive swells, circulating with poise and patience. Calculating eyes sought out General Hux, discreetly catching his notice amid social maneuvers. A subtle inclination of her mask conveyed her readiness, and promise, to impart discovery that may shift the tides of their looming conflict. For now, intimations would suffice—for the dance had only begun.

She was about to go to him when she saw him being surrounded by women. One in particular took General Hux’s hand and they started dancing together. JR-6025 was stunned by how flawless and graceful he seemed.

She didn’t even know that general Hux could dance…

JR-6025 observed the scene impassively from behind her mask, betraying no reaction. Over a lifetime's programming, she had learned much about controlling outward expressions that might endanger duty or mission objectives.

Yet within, unfamiliar stirrings arose as she watched the General glide effortlessly across the gleaming floor, every movement a precision calculation in itself. No movement was without purpose, just as each word he spoke held layers of meaning for perceptive ears. Nearing the dance floor's edge as the song swelled, she awaited her moment. When at last the pair spun gracefully past, she inclined her head slightly to catch the General's eyes.

A subtle gesture, yet one carrying her usual message—an opportunity had emerged, if he was ready to seize it. Duty before pleasure, as always. His own head bent almost imperceptibly in response—the barest signal her information was received, and invitation understood.

Soon. For now, the games of politics and pleasure continued apace. But whenever the music ended, JR-6025 would be waiting to share what secrets she had gleaned this evening. There, duty would resume its rightful place once more. She spotted him while dancing with the other woman and inclined her head discreetly to catch his eyes. He seemed to have noticed and given a subtle response. She smiled beneath her mask and waited respectfully for him to be done.

Soon enough, the song ended and everyone politely clapped. General Hux bowed to the woman who curtsied back and headed towards her companions. General Hux then briskly walked towards JR-6025’s direction looking determined.

She stood up straight as he approached.

"Sir. I believe I have obtained valuable intelligence during the evening."

General Hux walked directly towards JR-6025 with purpose, leaving his dance partner behind. Reaching her position discreetly along the perimeter, his eyes gleamed with keen interest behind customary stoicism.

"You have proven yourself a quick study in more than just battle, it seems," he murmured, the barest note of approval in his aloof tone. "Proceed."

JR-6025 proceeded to relay to him in hushed yet concise tones all that her diligent ears had heard—fragments overheard, locations matched to past intel, possibilities extrapolated. Her delivery remained dutifully calm and factual, yet an undercurrent of excitement threaded her words. This was why she had come, after all—to prove value beyond dance floors or decorum. To advance their cause through vigilance and ingenuity.

Her report delivered efficiently. Now she awaited her next task, ready to mobilize on his command.

He finally nodded.

"Alright, trooper. Well done. Continue your search and find as much information you can on the whereabouts of the scavenger girl and FN-2187. I shall gather intelligence of my own in the mean time."

JR-6025 snapped a crisp salute. "Yes sir, right away."

Her circumspect scanning of the festivities had already begun identifying useful contacts for further interrogation. A senior port authority with knowledge of lesser-charted routes, perhaps, or a mining consortium leader prone to loose lips after drinks.

Turning to depart on her new directive, some instinct made her pause and glance back. So many people dancing together. So many with graceful movements and delicate limbs perfectly matched or in sync with each other…Her eyes then landed on General Hux—watching over the crowd with sharp and attentive eyes.

Would he indulge her the fancy of a dance ? She wondered before shaking her head.

Ridiculous, of course. Sentiment had no place in their climbing ascension. Still, as when storm clouds shift unseen on the horizon, something intangible stirred within her. Shaking off such frivolities, JR-6025 melted back into the glittering horde. Her mission was clear: gather all intelligence that may shift the tide of war. Onward she glided through the crowds and rooms alike, an invisible ghost gathering secrets in service of a so-called far greater purpose. For the dawn of Order Absolute…until she had the unfortunate fate of brushing past a man whose hand quickly reached out for her arm.

JR-6025 stiffened as the man's meaty fingers closed around her slender wrist in an unyielding grip. "Unhand me at once," she demanded coldly, meeting his bulbous eyes with a venomous glare beneath her mask.

"Feisty, aren't you ?" he chuckled, bowing closer to leer amid cloying puffs of spice-laden breath. "Come now, a dance won't hurt, pretty."

JR-6025's blood ran cold as the man's grip tightened painfully. But before retaliation could come, a booming voice cut through the fray.

"Unhand her. Now."

The intruder flinched visibly at the ominous modified tones. Slowly, he turned to face the towering masked figure that was Kylo Ren, flanked by shadowy knights.

"L-Lord Ren, I meant no disrespect," the fool stammered, releasing JR-6025's wrist as if burnt. "A dance, nothing more, I swear—"

Ren's mechanical rasp cut him short. "Your sworn word is worthless, worm. Consider yourself fortunate I do not end you where you stand." A twitch of fingers, and the man gasped, clawing at his throat as invisible bonds constricted.

"Leave. And pray we do not cross paths again." As the blue-faced offender fled, Ren turned to JR-6025, looming over her diminished form. Behind his mask, keen eyes scanned for injury past rigid composure.

"You were wise to decline such degraded company, trooper," he growled. "But in future, do not hesitate to end scum yourself, if left no other option. Now go—I am sure your esteemed general awaits your return."

Before he could go, JR-6025 suddenly had the foolish and absurd urge to ask:

"Sir…I hate to ask but, do you know how to dance ?"

Ren froze mid-step at her unexpected question, coils of cape swirling about his armored form. Slowly, he turned to face her, unseen brows knitting beneath angular mask.

"You question my knowledge, trooper ?" The vocoder imbued even casual speech with menace, yet she sensed no active threat in his posture. Merely...curiosity.

Steeling herself, JR-6025 met his masked gaze evenly. "Dancing requires skill beyond combat, sir. As one familiar with passion's many forms, I surmised you might possess such...nuanced understanding."

For a long moment he regarded her in silence, weighing indignation and grudging respect in turn. At last, his wide shoulders dropped subtly from their battle-ready line.

"You presume much, yet not without reason, it seems." Gloved hands lifted in placating gesture. "I was trained in diplomacy's subtler arts as well, in a past I no longer claim. The steps remain, though the heart which moved them is...altered, let us say."

He extended a hand, mechanical voice softening marginally. "I take it you wished a lesson, then, trooper ? To deal more capably with such...importunities as you faced, should they arise again ?"

JR-6025 eyed the proffered hand, considering. Then, steeling herself once more, she placed her slender fingers within his leather-clad grasp.

"I am yours to instruct, Master Ren."

And so, in a secluded alcove far from prying eyes, their strange duet began.

Ren wrapped an armored hand gently around her waist, guiding her palm to rest upon his other gloved one, holding it aloft. "Relax. I will lead—follow my steps, and let the rhythm guide you."

At first JR-6025 was stiff, limbs feeling mechanical as her polished boot pressed back against his in the opening movement. But as the dance began in slow circles, his sure grip and the music's sway helped loosen her paralysis.

"Good. Breathe, and feel how I shift my weight to turn. Anticipate, do not react." His vocoder rumbled low encouragement as she began to glide with more practiced grace. Soon their measured paces flowed as one, JR-6025 losing herself in the dance. Her silver mask tilted up to meet his obscured one, sensing an intimacy beneath plates of transparisteel and durasteel which words could not adequately name.

"You learn quickly, for one untutored in the ways of society." Ren's growl belied an approving note. "Let passion inform your form, yet do not be ruled by it. Control stems from within; power means little without mastery of the self."

His lessons in dance held deeper metaphysical lessons, JR-6025 comprehended. As the music swelled towards climax, so too did a recognition pass between them—of kindred spirits seeking answers beyond what others deemed acceptable. The last notes faded, and they slowed in each other's arms, breathing hard. As the music faded, JR-6025 became acutely aware of how closely she was still held in Ren's grasp. Stepping back, she bowed her head respectfully.

"You are a master indeed, Lord Ren. I am... grateful, for this knowledge you have shared."

His vocoder buzzed cryptically. "Think nothing of it, trooper. Your...inquisitiveness, intrigues me." One leathered finger tilted her chin up to meet his obscured gaze once more. "There is darkness in you, barely tapped. With proper... cultivation, who knows what wonders might bloom."

She shuddered beneath his caress, sensing invitation—and peril—in his enigmatic words. This was not the comfort of familiar duty, but a plunge into unfathomable deeps.

"I live to serve the First Order," was all she said finally, as noncommittally as possible.

Ren straightened to his full, menacing height once more. "For now. But forces stir beyond mere politics and warfare, trooper. Keep your senses attuned. The night holds many mysteries...as do I."

"What mysteries do you conceal I wonder ?" She couldn’t help but smile cheekily and Ren's hulking form loomed over the diminutive trooper, aura darkening at her audacity. Yet within his vocoder, a hint of sardonic amusement thrummed.

"Mysteries enough to chill lesser souls to the core, trooper. Dark powers dwell within this galaxy's shadow places from which even I am not immune." His fingers twitched, as if longing to call those powers forth and demonstrate their potency. But restraint held reign, for now.

"As for what mysteries I conceal…" Heavy boots carried him into a slow prowl around her stationary form, obscuring mask gazing down intently. "Let us just say the darkness I command holds insight into energies long banned by the so-called Light. Powers that could transform one such as yourself from pawn to player upon the grand chessboard…"

Gloved hands emerged from beneath swathing robes to hover a hairsbreadth from her slight shoulders. Her every muscle tensed yet held fast, awaiting his next move with wary curiosity.

"Reveal to me, trooper—do you hunger for true strength, beyond what your master deign allow ? To wield abilities none other can claim, and walk free of restraint ?"

His vocoder now whispered sibilant promise dire and sweet.

"Me ? And what sort of darkness do you see in me, Lord Rem ?

Ren's helmet tilted, analyzing her challenge. His leathered grip tightened minutely upon her arm.

"Do not pretend ignorance, JR-6025. I see the rage that simmers beneath your rigid self-control...the hunger for more than this pale imitation of life they have crafted for you. You ache to break free of petty rules and find your true potential."

His vocoder lowered to a rumbling whisper. "I can teach you to embrace that darkness, not fear it. With me, you would command far more than mere trooper legions. Worlds would bend to our power. Does that not stir your blood, little soldier ?"

His free hand drifted to her masked cheek in a mockery of caress. "Let go your restraints, your manufactured purpose, and feel what it is to be truly free. Power. Passion. Purpose of your own devising, without limit. I can make you a god among these insects. All that I ask..."

His mask drew close, until she could feel its chill against her own. "Is that you pledge yourself to me. Body and soul, to do with as I will. Say you will be mine, JR-6025. And I will teach you things none in this galaxy comprehend."

Behind her mask, JR-6025's breath came short and fast.

"It is…a very tempting offer. But, I am afraid my loyalty is to the First Order. And General Hux." She smiled apologetically. "Besides, do not waste your time with a stormtrooper, Lord Kylo Ren. There is truly nothing special about me. I have absolutely no connection to the Force or the mysteries of the Universe."

Ren's masked helmet drew back sharply, as if struck. For a long moment he said nothing, armor creaking as gloved fists clenched and unclenched in palpable frustration.

Then his vocoder crackled coldly. "Do not presume to judge your worth, trooper. The Force flows through all living things—its currents merely lay dormant in the uninitiated. I sense your potential far exceeds such meager titles or duties."

One leathered finger jabbed accusingly against her mask. "You fear to seize your destiny, clinging instead to the meaningless scraps he deems your purpose. But you and I both know the true hunger that gnaws within—for revelation, supremacy, purpose beyond anything these political puppets could understand…"

His hand fell upon her shoulder in a crushing grip, mask drawing close once more. "Deny your nature at your peril, JR-6025. I offer the galaxy itself—surely a fleeting infatuation or hollow sense of duty cannot compare ? Come. Let me ignite the fires within you, and you will see how paltry such loyalties seem beside true power."

The magnetism of his words was almost impossible to resist, darkness a tantalizing siren call. At the same time, her duty held irresistible obligation...Conflict raged within, as Kylo Ren's grip seemed to physically manifest invisible bonds now straining. What path would she choose, when duty and destiny collided so ? In that agonizing moment of suspended choice, Ren knew he had found a kindred spirit indeed. One who understood viscerally the war between light and shadow within. Now was the time to press his advantage, bend her will to the service of a power greater than any mere ideology...

Suddenly, she felt a presence beside her and looked back to see none other than General Hux. He gave Kylo Ren a tight-lipped smile before putting a hand on JR-6025’s shoulder.

"May I have my plus one back, Ren ?"

Ren's cold gaze turned to regard the newcomer, rage smoldering behind circuits at the interruption. But Hux met his shrouded gaze fearlessly, hand squeezed almost imperceptibly upon JR-6025's shoulder in a gesture of both claim and comfort. For a long moment the Dark warrior and General faced off in tense standoff, wills locked in battle as potent as any physical clash. Ren sensed his prize slipping away, the void within crying out for completion of his gift to awaken her true power.

But Hux had seized upon the most effective tool to counter the knight's sorcery—simple, immutable duty. His presence anchored JR-6025's conflicted spirit once more in obligations Ren could not so easily sever with mere words alone.

At last Ren's vocoder crackled contemptuously. "For now, General. But this is not over. The spark has been lit, and I shall fan its flames until they consume all else. She belongs to powers you cannot begin to grasp."

With that veiled portent he swept away. Leaving Hux and JR-6025 locked in a silence far heavier than before Ren's intercession, duty and destiny's war made viscerally manifest in their very souls. JR-6025 shuddered as Kylo Ren's ominous words echoed in her mind. His vision of infinite power had almost tempted her to renounce all else. But now, anchored once more in duty by the General's steadying grip, clarity slowly returned.

Her place was here, serving the Order to which she had pledged her life. More than that—Hux had shown her kindness, respect, seen her potential when others saw only a number. To abandon that, for the shadowy allure of the dark side, went against her core. Yet Ren's words retained an insidious ring; his insights into her true nature unnerved in their accuracy.

Hux offered JR-6025 his arm calmly, ever the paragon of rigid self-control. But when she took it, fingers wrapped his armored wrist instead, as if to reassure herself of anchor amid the tempest loosed this fateful night.

JR-6025 smiled behind her mask as she took Hux's leather-clad hand in her own. "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me, general Hux ?"

His answering smirk held a familiar note of cunning amid cool detachment, a spark stirring in icy eyes as he drew her close. "Very well, trooper. But, I must warn you. I have little patience for fumbled footsteps upon such important occasions as these."

She met his challenging gaze steadily. "You'll find I am a quick study, sir, and hope not to disappoint." As the music began in drifting swells, JR-6025 allowed herself to follow Hux's graceful lead with growing confidence.

Each turn and step flowed smoothly as they glided across the gleaming floor, the perfect picture of coordination and command. But beneath the dutiful rhythm, JR-6025 sensed lingering turbulence from Ren's provocative encounter.

Leaning closer to Hux's angular jaw, she murmured where only he could hear, "My place remains at your side, General, as it has always been. Your guidance alone do I heed."

His pale eyes flickered down to meet her obscured gaze, a flicker of something—approval ? possessiveness ?—kindling in their icy depths. "See that it remains so, trooper. Your...talents, would be wasted following that wayward fool into darkness."

As the dance carried them on, JR-6025 sensed an unspoken belonging reinforced in Hux's firm yet respectful grip. Whatever mysteries the night held, for now duty and a will stronger than shadow's siren call would be her anchors in the light. As the music swelled towards its crescendo, JR-6025 became keenly aware of how closely she and Hux now moved in their waltz, bodies melding with practiced synchronicity.

His sure grip radiated palpable strength, daring her to match his poise and precision through the dance's most intricate maneuvers. Sweat sheened their brows, yet never for an instant did composure or control falter. At last the final notes rang out across the gleaming hall in a vibrating echo, leaving them breathless yet standing proud as the sole occupants of a bubble apart from polite applause. Chest to chest they paused, regarding one another in that surreal interlude suspended from reality's constraints.

"You acquitted yourself admirably, as I knew you would. Let no mongrel words divide what is mine, is that understood…trooper ?" His soft rasp held veiled threat that sent a shiver down her spine, even as a flush of fierce belonging replaced conflict within her heart.

JR-6025 nodded, lips curving behind her mask in a subtle smile. "Crystal clear, general. I belong at your side—now and always."

The General's sculpted lips curled at her affirmation, a glint of primitive satisfaction lighting icy eyes. "As well you should remember, my resourceful trooper."

His arms withdrew reluctantly as their private moment ended, duty calling them back into the glittering throng. But some subtle shift had occurred, resonance of a deeper bond beyond mere ranks and titles stirring in their united souls. Ren's seductive shadow-call now seemed distant, obscuring memories of who and what she was: a tool of Order, forged in rigid discipline yet nurturing sparks of more within. Loyalty and finding belonging mattered most. With Hux's discerning eye to hone her talents, who knew the heights attainable ? For now honing skills and learning all she could from him fulfilled deepest drives for meaning and mastery.

Thus resolved, JR-6025 proceeded the rest of the evening as Hux's shadow; observing, listening, learning from each subtly waged interaction the finer points of dominating through guile and demonstrating one's mettle. Subtly too she noted who among the Order's elite seemed most valued—or viewed with disdain and distrust. Information was power, after all, in this nest of aspiring avians and lurking serpents.

"I will continue my mission—if you’d allow me ?" She asked general Hux who smiled and nodded.

"Go."

She nodded before going near the buffet and General Hux stayed behind, his eyes lingering on her. He smiled and then, a voice made itself heard next to him.

"So…It seems you also brought a stormtrooper as your plus one, General Hux ?" He heard a familiar voice say behind him and didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. The voice continued.

"Captain Phasma." He acknowledged.

"General Hux." She acknowledged back and smiled. "Rather impressive. She succeeded in making all of those who hate you hate you a little less…"

General Hux quickly turned towards Phasma with a subtle grin on his face. He was enjoying the fact that his plus one had managed to impress everyone in the room as well. General Hux was hoping that she would be able to keep up the same energy throughout the party. General Hux was feeling more and more attached to JR-6025 at what he perceived as being a successful appearance.

General Hux gave Phasma a subtle smile in response and spoke.

"Indeed she has. She has managed to impress all of us, not just me. It seems like I made the right choice when I decided to bring her with me tonight."

Captain Phasma nodded and smiled back.

"…I know this stormtrooper. She fought with me on Takodana rather valiantly. And yet, I heard that you had made sure she doesn’t get a promotion. Too bad. She seemed to have all the qualities required to become a great sergeant…unless you have ulterior motives—of course." Captain Phasma glanced at him knowingly.

General Hux’s smile faded when Phasma brought up the notion that he had ulterior motives towards JR-6025. She seemed to be perceptive enough to figure out there was something else going on and she even pointed out that he was keeping any potential promotion away from JR-6025. General Hux was still feeling a little bit proud because of her recognised bravery, but this comment by Phasma had caught his attention and he wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to let her find anything out.

General Hux remained silent for a few moments and was thinking of the best way to respond without giving too much away. General Hux had to deny what she was saying because she was beginning to get a little too close to the truth. General Hux didn’t like the idea that his plans may be discovered or that he was being so transparent. General Hux was beginning to realize that Phasma was quite observant and he had to come up with a response that would not make it seem like he had something to hide.

General Hux gave out a fake laugh as he spoke.

"You have quite an imagination, Captain Phasma. How ridiculous for you to assume just because she was so brave and intelligent on the field that I must have some ulterior motive in not promoting her. I am simply making sure that she remains focused on her duties within the First Order. She is just a simple stormtrooper and I know it would be too much to throw promotion too early. It’s always too easy to be seduced by power and I would not want that to happen to her."

"Right." Captain Phasma had a small amused smile playing on her lips. "So thoughtful of you, general."

General Hux tried to let out a little chuckle. He knew that Phasma could see through this charade, but he was too proud to admit anything. He was feeling a little irritated because it felt like she saw right through him. General Hux was starting to wonder if he may be too transparent and too vulnerable with Phasma here. General Hux was trying to keep his cool when he spoke back to her.

General Hux continued with his charade as he replied back.

"Exactly. My focus is making sure that she remains level headed and focused on her duties."

"Oh yes. I am quite sure your intentions are in perfect alignment with the ones of the First Order. But, are you sure that the reason you are refusing JR-6025 a promotion isn’t because of…more personal reasons ?" Captain Phasma kept a knowing smile on her face as she looked at him once more.

General Hux couldn’t help but chuckle at her statement. She was getting way too close to the truth.

"How ridiculous of you to assume there is anything personal between JR-6025 and I. I simply am choosing to not promote her at this time because I believe she is still too inexperienced. You would want your soldiers to be level-headed and aware no ?"

"Of course, sir." She grinned as she brought a glass of champagne to her lips. "How ridiculous indeed…"

General Hux remained calm to not betray any emotion on his face. He was still trying to play it off as if he was being nothing but truthful. Captain Phasma was really beginning to make him feel nervous. General Hux tried not to let her affect him. But she was getting way too close to the truth. General Hux had to think of a good counter for what she was saying to keep the charade going. General Hux spoke back.

"Perhaps you feel you know better than I who should deserve a promotion in the First Order ?"

That seemed to make Phasma reconsider her direct approach.

"I would never assume to be any better than you are at your job, sir. I have the utmost respect for you. But…" Her smile faltered for a second "…does JR-6025 know ?"

General Hux’s anxiety seemed to increase as the conversation was going on. She was coming dangerously close to discovering his true intentions regarding JR-6025. General Hux tried to keep his calm and spoke in a low tone.

"What do you mean ? Know what ?"

Phasma suddenly lost her smile as she looked down at Hux—reminding him suddenly of their height difference.

"Does JR-6025 know that she is no longer First Order property—but yours exclusively ?"

General Hux suddenly froze. His breathing was fastened from the shock of her question and his heart was beating fast from this situation. General Hux looked deeply into Phasma’s eyes. Phasma was quite perceptive which is what made her so deadly. General Hux had to watch what he said at this point.

"Do not bring up any absurd conclusions like that. JR-6025 is not my personal property. That would be absurd."

"Is that so ?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Forgive me. I must have been misinformed then."

General Hux tried to play it off with a subtle grin as he responded.

"We all make mistakes. I assure you that this is indeed one of those times where you are just misinterpreting the situation. JR-6025 is by no means my personal property. She is just a simple stormtrooper that I have chosen to bring with me tonight. There is nothing to read into this situation beyond that."

"Of course…" Captain Phasma chuckled. "Then if anyone would take her away from you, it wouldn’t bother you one bit, would it ?"

General Hux’s heart started to beat even faster in his chest as she asked that question. He was very afraid that she had actually read between the lines. General Hux had to be very careful with how he responded. General Hux would not let anyone take Jr-6025 away from him. But he was also trying not to be too obvious about it.

"Why don’t we stop assuming things, Captain Phasma. There is nothing personal between myself and Jr-6025—" General Hux could not even finish that sentence.

"Come on, general. Your eyes haven’t left her since the moment you both walked in. You barely give me a glance every morning, and I may be the closest to an ally you have within the First Order." She smirked.

General Hux was not expecting that she would make this observation. Was General Hux really becoming too attached ? Why was this bothering him so much ? He felt completely off and he was starting to lose his cool.

"How ridiculous. I cannot look away for a moment without you making assumptions."

Captain Phasma chuckled.

"I am merely stating facts. Your eyes haven’t left her. Not for one second. Well, until I arrived anyway." Again General Hux felt all of his anxiety build as he realized how transparent he was becoming. He was aware of the fact that he had been staring at Jr-6025 all night long, not wanting to miss a single second of her. He also felt a wave of anger and annoyance build as she kept pointing out things that he did not want her to point out. General Hux decided he needed to turn this around somehow. General Hux was silent for a bit, deciding what to say next. It was clear that Phasma was getting under his skin and he wanted to try and turn this whole thing around. General Hux wanted to gain the upper hand again. He looked straight at her and tried to speak in a very composed way.

"My eyes haven’t left her because I was simply observing her behavior here. I need to make sure that she behaves herself and doesn’t do anything embarrassing here tonight. That is all."

"Ah. Of course." Phasma hummed—unconvinced. She then gave the room a quick glance and realised that…you were nowhere on sight. "Then, I am sorry to inform you that your plan has failed and your little stormtrooper is nowhere in sight."

General Hux felt a sudden urge to panic. He was now aware of the fact that JR-6025 had disappeared and he had no idea where. He was unsure of how long she had been gone and General Hux looked around quickly to try and find her but all he saw was Phasma with a smug smile on her face. General Hux felt that she had set him up and he quickly spoke to her.

"Where is she ? Where is JR-6025 ?"

Captain Phasma shrugged.

"She left towards the gardens. A few minutes ago."

General Hux felt his pulse spike at Phasma's words. After their charged dance, he hadn't meant to lose sight of JR-6025, yet here he was—played for a fool in front of his own subordinate. Quelling a scowl, Hux squared his shoulders coolly. "Thank you, Captain. I should attend to my..." He caught himself just in time, aware of Phasma's mocking stare. "...to ensuring proper protocol is maintained. Enjoy the festivities."

He exited briskly, abandoning Phasma's insolent smirk for the solace of the crystalline gardens. Their scintillating blooms soon led him to a shadowed alcove, and a figure swathed in moonlit silver.

JR-6025 stood pensively among fragrant clusters, seemingly lost to thought. At the crunch of his boots on gravel, her helmeted head turned swiftly. "General ! I did not mean to abscond, I only wished a breath of air after—"

Hux raised a gloved hand, forestalling excuses. "Think nothing of it, trooper. I merely wished to..." He trailed off, momentarily at a loss beneath her visored gaze. Stepping closer, he resumed softly, "To ensure you found this place...as relaxing a respite as I." His fingers traced the petals of a glittering hyperflora, eyes following their delicate contours. "Phasma's taunts know no bounds, it seems. But here, we need not face such insolence."

She chuckled.

"Captain Phasma is an excellent captain. She has saved me and my comrades many times…"

A wry smile curled Hux's thin lips at JR-6025's response. "That she is, though it seems her skill at command extends also to...needling vulnerabilities, where she senses them."

His pale eyes gleamed with cool purpose once more as gloved thumbs massaged her plated palms affectionately. "Make no mistake, I respect Phasma's prowess immensely. But here, now, there is a...higher authority whose favor I seek."

JR-6025 tilted her masked face inquisitively towards the General as he caressed her plating in a clandestine gesture most unlike protocol. Yet his intentions sparked no alarm within her, only intrigue towards nuances beyond codes she'd been crafted to comprehend until now.

"Phasma sees much, as befits a commanding officer," she ventured softly. "But perhaps some things evade even her keen sight." Lithe fingers wound gently through his in reciprocation, testing boundaries both craved yet feared in equal measure.

"Your vision, sir, encompasses far more than mere strategy. Each lesson you share expands the possibilities of what I might achieve." Eyes flared with earnest longing to justify his faith where others saw but a disposable toy soldier. "My purpose remains to serve—yet also to evolve under your discerning tutelage into something…"

She trailed off, sensing dangerous currents in words left unsaid. Around them blooms swayed languid as perfumed sighs upon the whispering breeze, dappling moonlight across their clandestine congress. Out there conspiracy brewed, but in this bowered cocoon another power held fuller sway.

His hands prowled the intimate mysteries of her form with sensual care. "Let go rigidity's chill grasp, feel the imperative fire your potential hints at—and become the revelation I foresee." Lips grazed the chill of her mask where a flush of understanding might bloom. "Dare to evolve, JR-6025. Become mine. "

JR-6025's breath came short, mind racing at the implications behind General Hux's provocative offer. To renounce protocol's rigid grasp and embrace a higher, more intimate purpose under his singular tutelage—the prospect both terrified and exhilarated in its audacity.

Meeting his piercing stare steadily, she attempted rationale. "Sir, while your faith in my abilities humbles, a trooper's function remains utilitarian. We are but tools to further Order's mission as deemed fitting."

Yet his roaming hands tracing her waist with gentle feather-light touches awakened sensations beyond what she knew, stirring turbulence in her formerly disciplined heart. When had duty's lines blurred so, between this man's charismatic orbit ? Hux smiled, a reptilian gleam of ambition in icy eyes. "Do not think to instruct me on what is fit, my resourceful trooper. I alone determine Order's designs, as I do yours." Gloved fingers lingered beneath her chin commandingly.

"Deny if you must. But, I see potential begging to be found…" His intensity ignited answers to questions she'd not known to ask. In the gardens—away from prying eyes—she felt…more.

Softly, borrowing his courage, she replied. "Then guide me, General, to walk new paths of understanding. I would…evolve, under your hand."

In Hux, Order. In Order, destiny. And in destiny…Two sapphires burning bright…The eyes of general Hux filled with ambition and unfulfilled purpose. General Hux regarded his loyal protege, unspoken understanding flaring between them. Few dared match his will and vision with such acuity, let alone offer soul's depths to shape as clay.

"Well spoken, soldier," Hux murmured approval. "Your dedication to Order's ascension heartens."

For a lingering moment they remained, breaths mingling intimately behind twin barriers. Both wearing masks. Yet duty remained. With evident reluctance, Hux withdrew. "Come, JR-6025. I believe we have much to do…"

JR-6025 slipped from the blossom-berved bower's lush confines to fall in step beside General Hux as they began the return to gleaming corridors where duty waited.

Yet for moments lingering, some hidden tendril of sentiment curled warm in her core recalling how his eyes had glimmered upon her, seeing promise of greater things to be. Though duty called them each to solemn purpose, in that private grove another truth had flowered, bright as the glitterflora.

"General." She kept her tone level, professional despite fleeting fancies. "My purpose remains to the Order. Its perpetuation and betterment are the sole objects worthy aim. If through your direction I may evolve to more fully realizing such goals, no reservation shall I harbor."

A respectful distance separated them as befit rankings, yet she risked a glance aside.

"Your vision gives shape to our collective destiny, General. Where it leads I shall follow, without hesitation or doubt." Gloved hands folded at the small of her back, she straightened proudly. "My skills are at your full disposal. Command me as best furthers our righteous cause."

General Hux hummed before asking JR-6025:

"Indeed, trooper. Now, tell me…What intelligence did you manage to gather ?"

JR-6025 nodded shortly.

"Very well, sir. I believe the enemy is hiding in the Atzerri system. I have done my research and we recently received a message from one of our spies there who claimed to have some potential leads, General. Names and last known locations of suspected Resistance collaborators to interrogate."

A satisfied smile crept onto Hux's pale features.

"Excellent. We shall meet with our operative and have them give us the full intelligence package. It's time I took a more...personal role in the search."

He looked to JR-6025 expectedly. "And you, Trooper, will accompany me on this mission. I have a feeling your unique skills will prove most useful as we extract whatever secrets may lead us to our enemies."

She nodded.

"Yes, sir. I’ll do my best to help you and the First Order."

A traces of a smirk played at Hux's pale lips. "Well spoken, as always. Your loyalty will not go unrewarded, trooper. Now, prepare yourself—we leave for the Atzerri system tonight. Just after the end of the gathering."

JR-6025 nodded and took her leave, hoping her methods would continue guiding them both toward restoring peace through understanding, not just vengeance. Time would tell what secrets awaited them in the stars ahead.

But part of her wondered what secrets this far-flung system might yet unveil. And what path her partnership with the enigmatic General Hux would forge. His methods were severe, yet she sensed in him a deeper wisdom that could guide them to lasting victory without needless bloodshed.

Her thoughts wandered to the cryptic words of Kylo Ren, warning of Hux's supposed deceit. She couldn't make sense of his intent—was it a power play to undermine command, or did lingering gratitude for her saving his life prompt genuine concern ?

Either way, she trusted her own intuition above the anarchic ramblings of an unstable force user. Hux had proved himself a strategist who valued duty and discipline above all. Together, their coordinated skills could piece together the map to Skywalker and crush the Rebellion at last. Her thoughts returned to FN-2187 and she sighed.

She hoped that he would be far away from Atzerri.

Zipping her bag closed in her room and leaving the fancy outfit on the bed, JR-6025 rose with purpose and headed for the shuttle bays. A new chapter in the war was unfolding. JR-6025 strode with fluid grace toward the gleaming hangar bay where General Hux's shuttle awaited. Though purpose sang keen through her enhanced veins, hidden currents eddied in recesses of her refined mind.

Ren's ominous words still lingered, shade amid the harsh glow of duty. She trusted Hux's vision, his strategic acumen and dedication to the Order's righteous cause. In him she sensed a guiding intellect that could steer them to victory through coordinated effort, not wanton brutality.

Yet doubt nagged at reasons behind Kylo's warning—was it truly spawned from instability alone ? Ren claimed to see deeper verities than most, though obscured by passion's tempestuous tides. And Hux himself remained an enigma, calculating eyes betraying depths beyond what met the gaze. As she marched past sleek TIE fighters toward the shuttle's lowered ramp, JR-6025 paused. Gaze drawn upward through viewports to endless night skies strewn with distant worlds, reflections stirred.

Out there amid the stars' chorus of mysteries lay answers to the war rending the galaxy. Sought both as prizes of conquest and balms for the conflicted soul. She would see this mission through with Hux, have faith in his objectives aligning with the greater peace she envisioned.

On the edges of perception, tantalizing futures flickered—lives rewoven across parsecs under compassion's weaving hand, bloody strife redeemed to purpose higher. All hung in the balance of each moment's choices. With steadied breath, she turned to face her fate, whatever secrets the shuttle's hold might birthetch aboard.

[anachronisticmech]

I want to start sharing my headcanons more instead of just telling myself to write my nine chapter fic so people get it because. My writing isn’t the best and I just want to directly get my feelings and ideas across

So, here are my thoughts and headcanons on Brian and Jonny’s relationship!

I want to, as I most always do, give credit to @carmillatism. I get most of my ideas and headcanons, if not directly from them, then while in conversation with mech.

Warning for unhealthy relationships, both romantic (or queerplatonic, if you wish) and parental (between Brian and Jonny, Jonny and Carmilla, and Brian and Carmilla)

Brian was not the first to be mechanised under similar circumstances to the one in which he was, as I believe Brian was the last to be mechanised by Carmilla, so Jonny had definitely seen this before. Random person being picked up and brought back to life, or rather, having their life given back in full force.

I do believe, however, that he was somewhat jealous of Brian, and kept a close eye on him during the time in which he was being mechanised. It would have taken Carmilla a long time, which meant he would have had less of her attention, which came as both a blessing and a curse to him (thanks to trauma).

I think he would have been relatively nice to Brian at first, like he is with the other mechs, though more cautious as I imagine he would be around new people. He would have sympathised with him, and the whole ordeal of being mechanised, even if he couldn’t imagine what it felt like to be changed to the extent Brian had.

But, his feelings, I imagine, would slowly turn to malice as Brian starts to work as somewhat of an apprentice to Carmilla, learning about his and other’s mechanisms, assisting in surgeries, etc. (Side not, read carmillatism’s fic on this, it’s really good) he would start to see Brian in somewhat of the same light he sees Carmilla, as he would not be able to see the turmoil within Brian’s mind, and how internally wretched he had become.

Brian, meanwhile, would be quite fond of Jonny, though understood the other did not exactly like him. They could hold a conversation well enough, but not to the extent Brian wished they could. Most days Jonny was actively antagonistic towards him, some days worse, so he learned to keep his distance.

After Carmilla left, they started to find a good middle. Jonny did not forgive Brian yet for helping tinker about with his heart, but he couldn’t find it in himself to hate him when he had apologised so profusely and done anything and everything to gain his trust.

He still left Brian on Avalon until he couldn’t bare it anymore, missed him too much, and fished him out of that hell.

Brian, however, found himself becoming more and more spiteful towards Jonny while burning and burning day in and day out. When he was back, it seemed as though their previous roles were reversed. He was the one giving Jonny nasty looks, while Jonny hugged himself and mourned the time they, at least, semi- got along.

Slowly, gradually, they find a way to be healthy, to love each other and accept love in return. Jonny had always been unable to receive and express love like most would like him to. He hated being vulnerable, hated not being the all day actor, not keeping up facades that might not be facades. Brian was scared of being too much, and too little all the same.

It was never easy in the beginning of their newfound trust for either of them, but it ended up working out.

So, that’s my headcanons for their timeline and feelings. My brain fog is quite bad, so I feel as though im leaving much out, and couldn’t exactly get everything across the way I wanted.

If you find this interesting, please look out on my ao3 for my WIP fic ‘Our Lady Of The Broken Spine’, a nine chapter fic I’ve been working on since august, about Brian, his anatomy, timeline, feelings, and relationships. I am still working on the first chapter, but I only have a little bit to go, really.

Thank you for reading!

[conanssummerchild]

my own ranking of every rick and morty episode, inspired by the lovely @fandomwe1rd0 :3

sorry this is a bit scattered, the random quotes are just lines that i liked/found funny. i had to shorten all my reasonings by a fuck ton bcs i was just going on forever lmao, so if some things feel kinda cut off, that's why.

i binged all of rick and morty in like a week to make this, just to make sure the ranking was fully accurate to me and it took me way to long but i'm finally done !!

btw this isnt a ranking of which episodes are objectively the best, its very biased and just my personal opinions, im aware some epsiodes definitely shouldnt be as high as they are but a lot of them are just my comfort episodes 🤷

f tier: episodes i actively dislike, have little to no redeeming qualities.

71. rickdependance spray: audibly said "oh, fuck no." when i realised this was next. the rest of weird-ish episodes have some redeeming points but this one just has no plot relevance and isnt very funny.

70. raising gazorpazorp: main reason i dislike this episode is the end credit, it reminds me of when i was listening to family line and my dad insinuated conan was making it up and that if i got famous i'd do the same, like, no, if i talk abt what a shitty dad you are its bcs you were a shitty dad, do better. anyway i just thought it was an unfunny joke. due to daddy issues. also its just a boring episode.

69. a rickconvenient mort: summer and rick's storyline was ok but not enough to make up for how much i hate planetina. i liked beth in this episode. rick and summer's dynamic was nice too, but unhealthy.

e tier: episodes i don't dislike, just find boring/have bad elements but more redeeming qualities.

68. m. night shaym-aliens!: the little crystal wrestle was adorable. other than that not a super memorable episode.

67. rise of the numbericons: the movie: i didn't hate it but compared to the rest of s7 it was pretty weak. i think mr goldenfold is funny, but not enough to get his own episode. it would've been more entertaining if rick was in it lets be real, i missed him.

66. interdimensional cable 2: tempting fate: i care very little about jerry's penis. the interdimensional cable was good as usual though.

65. how poopy got his poop back: fine episode, not my fav. i liked seeing bp and squanchy again.

64. edge of tomorty: rick die rickpeat: "Damn, Morty, you're bad at maths, but I'm giving you an a-plus in confidence!" an okay episode.

63. rick: a mort well lived: pretty weak episode to follow solaricks. summer's die hard was good. some cool emotional components.

62. rattlestar ricklactia: "Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset about the whole snake encounter thing, so I'll tell you what. I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you for the rest of the day." rnm were kind of cute at the end. yk, until rick punched morty in the face :/.

61. the jerrick trap: sorry ik a lot of ppl love this episode but tho burger & fries were cute characters its not all that for me. memory rick's return, however, was all that. i love him.

60. childrick of mort: "Oh my god, grandpa, you fuck boy." rick being a space nerd <3. loved to see more of beth and rick together but other than that this episode was kinda mid.

59. amortycan grickfitti: honestly made me feel bad for jerry which isnt easy, i sort of liked rick here, he seemed reluctant to let the hell demons make fun of jerry, he still did, but even apologised with only a little prompting. can't say the same for beth. summer and morty were sweet in this episode, i wish we would get more of them.

58. rickmancing the stone: "I don't know why I'm crying." "Well... try crying 15% less?" not bad, i liked the emotional components.

57. mortynight run: again, not super memorable to me. the roy montage was good. You kind of wasted your 30's, though, with that whole birdwatching phase." the animation for the song was great.

d tier: mostly okay to good episodes with minor faults that i can look past in the general scheme of the episode.

56. one crew over the crewcoo's morty: fucked up what rick did to morty. and to mr pb, his life went to shit after this, bcs of rick.

55. night family: had some great moments, but wasnt my fav.

54. anatomy park: loved dr bloom, john oliver voiced him perfectly.

53. lawnmower dog: sweet scenes between rnm. liked the dream inceptor, loved scary terry, snuffles was good too but not as much.

52. claw and hoarder: special ricktims morty: "Are you gonna slay it?" "First off, i always slay it, queen. Secondly, yes." summer being on morty's side was nice. while the soul orgy was a bit weird, the rest of this episode was pretty entertaining which is why its higher up, sorry.

51. bethic twinstinct: jerry saying he would khs, not cool jerry fuck you. "You ladies discuss responsibility while i get stoned and play video games with your kids." the end 💀 i felt bad but it was funny lol.

50. final desmitation: maybe my fav ep of jerry and rick's relationship. i liked seeing rick disapprove of them making fun of jerry, had some funny moments and i even liked jerry here.

49. a rick in king mortur's mort: not the best but i enjoyed rickbot being nice to morty. also this episode sets up for rmrm which i love.

48. promortyus: morty's little yee-haw 😭. and their conversation, so sweet. taking the adderall line as an adhd rick confirmation. "It is my thing. Just like yours is dying alone," get his ass. i feel like the romance couldve been a compelling story if the hosts werent rnm.

47. the whirly dirly conspiracy: rick's take on jerry was accurate. "But no, like father like goddamn daughter! You wanna be like Rick? Congratulations, you're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible!" morty ate. i prefered summer and beths storyline to rick and jerry's.

c tier: solid, episodes, some have a few faults but theyre small

46. mort: ragnarick: it's so high up because i found rick to be likeable and liked his dynamic with morty. ricks clone was cute too.

45. look who's purging now: "Screw you, Rick! I'll purge you too, you old rickety piece of crap!" rnm's storyline was great, i liked arthrisha.

44. the ricks must be crazy: "I dropped out of school. It's not a place for smart people." "Ohhhh, snap!" lmao literally my reaction. "Ooh. Wow. Gaaay!" "That is pretty gay." not much more to say, good ep.

43. never ricking morty: rnm were sweet in this ep. the gay ass song with rick and bp. "Rick are you– do you need to go to the hospital?" the forehead kiss was sweet. (we're ignoring "Lips if you want.")

42. mort dinner rick andre: mr nimbus is a great character. the wine storyline was a bit boring. "I havent been to a full week of school in years! I don't know shit!" love the peek at rick's backstory too.

41. rick potion #9: important lore episode. some funny bits. morty was a little creepy in this one. i love jerry primes character development. first look on down from the bridge moment !!

40. forgetting sarick mortshall: "What are you, eight? Is this macaroni art? You expect me to believe you built this because you don't care?" liked ricks storyline and he actually does seem to be showing minor development. the end song was good. liked garbage goober's lore.

39. morty's mindblowers: rick removing whatever memories he wanted was fucked up. rick saying granite instead of granted will always be funny. also him losing in chackers and skiing into a tree.

38. mortyplicity: entertaining enough if a little convoluted, i liked it though. sweet moment between the decoy family, shame they died.

b tier: good to great episodes.

37. big trouble in little sanchez: actually liked jerry and beths storyline in this one. tiny riiick !! "old rick! ruining everything!" good episode.

36. pilot: good intro, sets the tone. rick is such a dick (affectionate). rnm's dynamic !! the animation is great. overall great episode.

35. pickle rick: ik its a overrated but i think its good. hes pickle riiiick. dr wong's speech to rick was actually really good and accurate.

34. meeseeks and destroy: rick was such a whiny bitch this episode (affectionate), up until the mr jellybean stuff, which i liked bcs it was handled well by the writers and rick was actually very sweet.

33. rick and morty's thanksploitation spectacular: president curtis' alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend is probably my favourite way rick has been refered to in the show LOL. overall i enjoyed this episode.

32. something ricked this way comes: idc now but, the first time watching rick's r slur speech it was obnoxious and offputting. summer and rick were great, i adore their dynamic, love summer and rick episodes, but idrc for jerry's storyline, he bores me so bad.

31. full meta jackrick: "Rick can't change, Morty. Change is what you might call his Kryptonite." there were a lot of things i liked abt this ep.

30. vindicators 3: the return of worldender: very good episode. forever a believer that the ride was for morty and rick just chickened out.

29. a rickle in time: the va for the testicle monster was great. beth and jerry's storyline also wasn't bad. rick jumping into the hole and sacrificing his life for morty, im sobbing. great episode.

28. the vat of acid episode: morty trying to make rick feel better about not being able to make the thing was very sweet. morty's relationship with that girl was adorable, so sad it was erased by jerry's dumb ass /lh. fuck rick in this episode. the end was funny.

27. rixty minutes: while i do love interdimensional cable this episode would've been lower if it wasn't for all the character moments. "You can't leave, you're 17." "Yeah, and I'm not pregnant. I'm gonna have better judgement than you guys had at my age." loved summer getting screentime. beth and jerry's moment was quite sweet.

26. ricksy business: bp and squanchy !!! >:) bp coming through with the deep speech. the montage of rick morty and summer at the end is so adorable i love them sm <3. "I love my grandkids." "Aw :)." "Psych, just kidding, my new catchphrase is i dont give a fuuuck!"

25. get schwifty: first president curtis episode !! i love him. love morty and bp interactions haha. "In bird culture, this is considered a dick move." "It is random debris. I found it in my carpet. I don't know what humans eat." crying i love him sm. one of my personal favs lol :).

24. juricksick mort: tbh i mostly like this ep bcs of "You pompous autistic cadaver!" but there was other good moments and it was entertaining. rick was funny and likeable and very much a disaster of a human being, as i was promised when i started watching rnm.

23. star mort rickturn of the jerri: space beth !! "You cosplay as your shitty father in his 30's." "Its funny. I always wondered who would win if we ever fought." "Then you were always a bad friend." :(. "Holy shit, I'm a terrible father." i forgot how good this episode was, very angsty.

22. total rickall: genuinely love this episode. KEITH DAVID >:D. rick's "weird made-up sounding catchphrases" compilation is one of my fav moments in the show lol, everyone looks so concerned 💀.

21. rest and ricklaxation: "Grandpa's here." SOBBING. "Because you kept drunk-dialing me and crying about it!" "I wasn't crying!" loved jessica and ricks dynamic lol. great episode.

20. rickfending your mort: great follow up to unmortricken, i like that rick doesnt just go back to normal and we see it takes a while and even then its only bcs morty steps in. morty making up titles for all their adventures is adorable. great sweet scenes between rnm.

19. the rickchurian mortydate: autistic rick !! also minecraft. the president is such a pathetic loser lol <3. i loved rick and morty being on the same wavelength in this episode. the ending was good.

18. wet kuat amortycan summer: summer-centric episode !! rick was likeable, liked seeing him clumsy getting his grove back. him saying summer reminds him of diane again, he's getting so much more open, im so proud, can you imagine s3 rick being sincere like that?

17. close rickcounters of the rick kind: best s1 episode, love citadel episodes. evil morty !!!!! some funny moments. "You're crying? Over a Morty?" sobbing. "Yeah, but wheres the transmitter?" and the evil morty song oh god, best scene ever fr. i love my evil guy :3.

s tier: outstanding episodes, the 16 best imo.

16. that's amorte: FANTASTIC episode, the end montage is the only part of any rnm episode thats made me cry a little, it would be higher up but i have some personal favs which i put higher. i feel like this episode was very classic rnm after having them separated half of s7.

15. the old man and the seat: jerry and morty's dynamic is pretty funny. tony and rick's storyline was fantastic. some pretty angsty stuff. "The saaaddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos."

14. the abc's of beth: rick and beth episode !! rick saying that an adventure clearly needs morty in it, aw. i did not care about jerry's storyline at all. beth had no right being so relatable in this ep.

13. ricktional mortpoon's rickmas mortcation: rick relapsing into finding prime !! "I'm not touching that thing. I'll get neurotypical cooties." ok, so ik a lot of ppl don't like the speech rick said to morty, but i do, he was going through a LOT, this clearly took him quite a few steps back in development and healing, i think it was less bad than a lot of other things he's done and way more justified.

12. fear no mort: loved morty getting his time to shine, LOVED diane and rick. morty realising rick wasn't in the hole has to be one of the best moments in the show. rick not going in the hole at the end bcs morty told him not to, hope some day he'll get to the point of doing things for morty in front of him so he can realise how much he cares.

11. analyze piss: look at rick asking dr wong for advice. him relating to piss master :(. also i read a phenomenal fic abt this ep (tw sh) (link).

10. air force wong: UNITY RETURNS! Rick was kinda childish in this episode but i feel like it was justified, he wasn't being a dick just bcs, he was hurting, and he even kinda apologised to summer, hes trying. rick going to drink with the president instead of being alone.

9. the rickshank rickdemption: RICK PRIME. "That, diane, is the last great idea that will ever be had in this garage." :((((. ricks backstory. "he's not a villan, summer, but he shouldn't be ur hero." fantastic ep.

8. rickmurai jack: love two crows rick. rick's full "crybaby" backstory !! "Now you're evil morty, too. sooner or later we all are. on this side of the curve." THE END OH GOD. THE MUSIC. EVIL MORTY LETTING OUT A SIGH OF RELIEF. INSANE finale.

7. gotron jerrysis rickvangelion: rick is so spectacularly autistic in this one. i like how he doesnt silly hyperfixtate, he full on unhealthy hyperfixtates. i practically know this ep off by heart. comfort ep fr.

6. rickternal friendshine of the spotless mort: im not sorry for putting this up so high, i love this ep so fucking much. memory rick is so silly i love him sm. "You were a good friend, Rick. Goodbye." the blood ridge confession makes me FERAL. i can quote it word for word.

5. the wedding squanchers: THIS EPISODE. rick watching bp die in front of him. rick turning himself in :(. "everyone i know goes away in the end." the music was so good. "he's not coming back, is he?"

4. the ricklantis mixup: best citadel ep, fight me. j-22 trying to save simple rick only to suffer the same fate :(. slick jumping into the wishing portal. the ending was phenomenal, every single storyline was amazing and important. and evil morty returns.

3. auto erotic assimilation: love unity and ricks dynamic. blim blam humbling beth and jerry. jerry using the weed whacker right in front of the garage where rick just attempted. and no one notices. bc that's how it is. "do you feel it?" is a great song. maybe this ep is higher than it should be but it's my comfort ep, it means so much to me.

2. solaricks: first time we get to see dimension c-137 out of a flashback !! "I hope Summer knows what happens to the people you love!" "Oh, am I cool enough for you now? Well, that was easy. It only cost me fucking everything." "I don't know him. You're my grandpa, rick." rip jerry prime, my fav jerry. THIS EPISODE IS PHENOMENAL.

1. unmortricken: ok anyone who knows me knows this is my fav ep bcs i never stfu abt it. i mean, evil morty backstory, rick beating prime to death, GOD. ian cardoni was COOKING with the delivery of those lines, and the lines were fantastic. some good rnm moments. the angst is so good. "How's it feel? Better? No? Exactly the same? Yeah, it always does." best look on down from the bridge moment.

i keep going over this a million times just to make sure everything is perfect but idk, some episodes are maybe interchangeable, im just going to post it bcs its been rotting in my drafts for quite a while now, everyone promise you dont hate me for putting an episode 1 slot too high or low /j

and sorry for all the jerry hate in this post, i dont hate him i just find him boring, so eps where he's the centre tend to be lower on the list.