#i have never been on top of this inbox and i get nervous about posting too much

[bodycountgame]

Hey sorry to bother you,

I sent an ask in a little while back (I know you were on hiatus, I just wanted to do it while it was fresh in my mind), about which characters die, specifically in regard to the final version (I promise I read the FAQ and it isn't just like, 'why can't I save [REDACTED]?'). I came back to check on the blog, and it seems like you've (at least partially) returned from hiatus, and have been answering questions.

So I just wanted to check whether you had seen my ask, and there's just some reason you haven't responded, or if it got eaten by Tumblr.

I can provide more details as to my original ask, or just resend the original question if you want.

hiiiii! absolutely no bother.

to be honest, i haven't really scrolled back through my inbox to review old asks - it's an absolute casserole in here i have literally thousands of unanswered asks hahaha so the ones that i answer are the few rather than the many.

feel free to ask again if you want it answering (although even then i'm Pretty Patchy with answering asks but i try my best!)

[writingquestionsanswered]

Too Ashamed of Writing to Write

Anonymous asked: I've spent ten years thinking of stories, ideas, characters, magic systems, concepts, all that jazz, but when I actually have to write it down, I feel this overwhelming sense of shame and disgust. Just looking at what I write makes me feel bad. If I posted my writing in forums for serious writers, it'd immediately get torn to shreds. It's a constant downer and it dissuades me from wanting to write more. Is there advice for nervous nellies like me to overcome this fear that's a little sweeter than "grit your teeth and bear it?"

[Ask edited for length]

First, this is normal. A lot of writers struggle with it. The reason why, I think, is our society puts so much emphasis on finished products, we've collectively forgotten the reality behind what it takes to get to that finished product. We've forgotten that things take practice and time and polishing, and that to make good art, you first have to make bad art. If you can't learn to sit with your bad art, you'll never get good enough to make good art.

So, yes, unfortunately... though it may have a bitter taste, "grit your teeth and bear it" is the usual advice because it's true advice. If you can't grit your teeth and wade through the bad art to get to the good art, you'll never get to the good art.

Here are some things that might help. First, watch this:

Some links to previous posts:

Comparing Self to Others, Insecure About Writing Building Confidence in Your Writing Concentrate on Quantity at First, Not Quality Guide: Dealing with Self-Doubt & Impostor Syndrome

You will get there, I promise! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[catalinas-cure]

Sub!Ethan Landry x Mean!reader headcanons (Sfw & Nsfw)

A/n: ngl i think i’m going to stick to fluff after this 😭, let me know what you guys think in the comments or my inbox!

Warning: this is written with a afab fem!reader in mind

SFW

💝: Has your picture as his lockscreen & homescreen, he changes it every time you send him pictures of yourself

💝: Wears shirts that say “property of *y/n*”, “I love my beautiful girlfriend”, and have your picture on them. He bought them himself too 😭

💝: Only has social media to post you, his bio is “*y/n* fanpage”

💝: Your personal photographer, his entire photo gallery is pictures of you

💝: Calls you early in the morning, when he knows you won’t be awake, to leave you a voicemail to listen to when you wake up

💝: Loves watching cheesy romcoms with you (even if he won’t admit it 🙄)

💝: Loves watching you when your focused or paying attention to anything other than him

💝: Holds your hand all the time

💝: Always nervous and giggly with you even if you’ve been dating for a long time

💝: he’s just a gentleman

💝: Carries your bags around campus, the mall, when you’re out, literally anywhere

💝: Never shuts up about how lucky he is to have you

💝: Literally worships the ground you walk on

💝: Loves when you wear his clothes

💝: Has pictures of you everywhere, in his car, by his bed, in his wallet, in his phone case

NSFW

💖: Was a virgin before he met you

💖: Gets turned on when you’re mean to him

💖: It’s huge 😭

💖: He’s a slut! only for you though 🙏

💖: Eats you out like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

💖: Reallyyy vocal, literally moaning in your ear

💖: Loves using toys he buys on you

💖: Always wants you on top

💖: Needs you to mark him so everyone knows he’s your property (scratches on his back from your nails, bruised knees from kneeling to eat you out, bites on his neck, hickeys everywhere)

💖: Gets off on pleasing you

💖: Tells you to use him, he wants to be your fucktoy

💖: Cums in you all the time if you let him

💖: Sooo dramatic when he orgasms

💖: Asks if you can cockwarm him while you’re watching a movie

💖: Can’t even look at you when you’re going down on him cause he’ll cum

💖: He’s down with anything you want to try, new position? handcuffs? edging? make a video? he’ll try anything once and if you like it, he’ll do it as much as you ask him too

💖: Loves when you pull his hair, that’s when he knows he’s doing a good job

💖: Gets off to you degrading him

💖: Asks to do positions that let him see your face and his dick bulging in your stomach (Cowgirl is his favorite)

💖: He likes to make eye contact whenever you have sex (he loves staring you down when he eats you out)

[justmystyles]

Big Winners - Part 3 (Final Part)

read my other work here!

pairing: Harry Styles x record producer plus size reader

*i say it's a plus size reader, but it is not something that i focus on explicitly in my fics, because your size should not define you. it will only come up if it comes into the story organically.*

word count: 2,406

summary: Harry and Y/N have been friends for fifteen years, they finally work together on an album, and it leads them to a night that will change everything for them.

a/n: sorry it took me so long to get this last part out. i hope it was worth the wait! i might slow down on posting for a bit as I want to map out and complete NYIML, as well as start a few other things i have in my head. i might also try to clear out my inbox a bit and finally get to some of your lovely requests.

tags: @abby8694 @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat

The ride back to the hotel is spent in silence, Harry and Y/N letting the events of the evening sink in. The thing that kept running on a loop was that kiss. Their first kiss. They had been friends for a decade and a half, and that was a line that had never been crossed. 

Now that it had, neither was sure that they wanted to go back, but they were also nervous that the other didn’t feel the same. Not wanting to ruin or complicate the magic of the moment, they each made a silent vow not to mention the kiss, or wait until the other brought it up. 

The car pulls up to the front of the hotel, Harry gets out quickly, offering his hand to Y/N to help her step out. Their hands remain linked as they walk through the lobby and into the elevator. 

They stand together in the back corner of the empty elevator, Y/N sighs and leans her head down on Harry’s shoulder before finally breaking the silence. 

“I know our phones are probably blowing up with congratulatory messages, but do you think we could ignore all that until tomorrow? I feel like this moment needs to be just us.”

Harry smiles and places a soft kiss on the top of her head. “I think that’s an amazing idea. We can worry about the rest of the world tomorrow, tonight is just about you and I.” 

The elevator door opens, and Harry leads Y/N down the hall to their suite. 

“I can’t get over tonight…” Y/N sighs as they approach the door. 

Harry chuckles as he swipes his key card, opening the door and holding it for Y/N. “I can’t either. It’s been such a hectic night, and it all flew by so quickly.” 

Y/N smiles and nods, her expression quickly turns pensive. “Is it weird of me to say that I’ve never felt closer to you?” She wasn’t technically mentioning the kiss, maybe she just needed to test the waters a little. 

“Not weird at all,” Harry confirms with a dimpled grin. “I was thinking the exact same thing, actually.” 

He pauses for a moment, debating whether or not to bring up the kiss, he decides against it. “Even after all these years, everything we’ve been through, tonight just seemed to bring us closer than ever before.” 

Y/N smiles softly, relieved that he agrees. But he didn’t say anything about the kiss, so she let it go. “I’m going to take all of this off and get into my pajamas. You wanna order the room service and I’ll meet you in your room for food and a movie?”

“Why my room?” Harry asks with a furrowed brow. 

“Because, I’m tired and don’t want to deal with the couch, and you have the bigger bed.” She stated plainly. 

He narrowed his eyes playfully at her. “I hate how logical you are.” She giggled and shook her head. “What do you want me to order for you?” He asks.

Y/N shrugs. “You know me, just get whatever I’d like. I trust you.” With that, she goes into her room to change and take off her makeup. 

A few minutes later, she knocks softly on Harry’s bedroom door. He quickly calls for her to come in, and she enters wearing a pair of pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, her hair in a messy ponytail, and her face makeup free. She is met with Harry, who is sitting on the bed in a pair of pajama pants and no shirt, his back resting against the headboard. 

Harry smiles softly as she climbs into bed beside him. She looked stunning when she was glammed up, but she was at her most beautiful like this. This was the real, authentic Y/N, and she was perfect. 

He had always thought Y/N was beautiful, but they were friends, he had never seen her as anything more. Until that kiss. It was as if something had awoken inside of him, and he saw her in a completely different light. He saw the potential, he saw what they could be. 

He was nervous though. Despite her being the one to initiate the kiss, he wasn’t sure where her head was at. Did she have these feelings too? Or did she just get caught up in all of the emotions in that moment? 

Harry shook the thoughts out of his head, these were all things to worry about another time. He held his arms open and she instantly snuggled against him, he tilted his head and placed a gentle kiss in her hair. 

“Hey, Harry?” She says softly. 

“Hmm?”

“We won a Grammy award tonight.” She says in a soft tone, but the excitement is still clear. 

Harry chuckles and squeezes her a little tighter. “We did, didn’t we?” 

“I think this has been the best night of my life.” “Mine too,” he agrees. 

Before either of them can say anything else, there is a knock on the door. Harry excuses himself to grab the room service, he gives her one last squeeze before hopping out of the bed and leaving the room. 

Y/N watches as Harry walks away, her heart and mind racing. She was trying to decide if kissing her best friend was the best decision, or biggest mistake of her life. 

Over the years, there had been a few fleeting thoughts of what could be with Harry. It wasn’t lost on her that he treated her better than any guy she had ever dated, but she always just pushed those feelings down, not wanting to jeopardize one of the most important relationships in her life.

Now, all of those thoughts and feelings she had been ignoring for years had bubbled to the surface, and they weren’t going to be so easy to just brush off anymore. In the flurry of emotions and activity, she let her guard down and without even thinking, put everything on the line. 

She was grateful that he wasn’t saying anything, maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he’d just let it slide, and they’d never speak of it again. But did she want to never speak of it again? He kissed back, he definitely kissed back, so he felt something too, right? Or was he just caught up in the moment?

“Time to eat!” Harry’s voice breaks her from her thoughts. She turns her head to the door to see him wheeling in a cart full of food. 

“Jesus, how much did you order?” Y/N hops out of bed and helps him lay out all of the plates on the table. 

“It’s a celebration,” Harry shrugs. “Besides, you’re picky, so I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for.” 

Y/N rolls her eyes and chuckles. “I’m not that picky.” 

“The first thing you look for at every restaurant we go to is whether or not they have chicken fingers.” He says with an arched brow. 

“It’s my standby backup food. Pretty much any restaurant is going to have some iteration of chicken fingers, so if I can’t find anything else, I’ll get that. Speaking of…” Her eyes roam over the plates. 

Harry lifts a plate of chicken fingers and french fries. 

“Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite?” She says sweetly and kisses his cheek. “Yeah, every time I buy you chicken fingers.” He chuckles and ruffles her hair. 

She giggles and takes a chicken finger off the plate. 

“Ah ah ah,” Harry chides as he slaps her hand lightly. “Before we eat, I want to do something.” Y/N looks at him curiously. “There are going to be a ton of pictures out there of us all dressed up with our shiny trophies. I want to take one of the real us with our trophies.”

She drops the chicken finger back on the plate, and wipes her hands on her pants while Harry grabs the two trophies and walks over to the full length mirror. 

When she approaches, he hands her one of the trophies and pulls his phone out of his pocket. They stand side by side, Harry takes the hand with his phone in it and wraps it around her shoulder, while she wraps one arm around his torso, the other holding the trophy. 

“Okay, smile.” Harry says in a goofy tone. Once she is smiling, he presses his lips to her temple and snaps the picture. 

They take a few more, their eyes locked on each other through the mirror. The energy feels different, more intimate than it typically does, but they both choose to ignore it. 

Once the impromptu photo shoot is over, they grab their food and get back into bed. Harry throws on a movie, but it’s merely background noise as they spend their night laughing and joking as they recap the evening; avoiding one specific detail in particular. 

Hours later, they’re stuffed from the food, and laying in each other's arms in the bed. 

“Can I stay here? I’m too tired and full to walk to my room.” 

Harry chuckles and nods, he looks down at you and sees your eyes fluttering, as if they could close any moment. “Of course you can,” he says softly, kissing the top of her hair. 

Y/N sighs happily and her eyes finally close. Harry lays there, staring at the ceiling. He knows he should be tired, but all he can think about is that kiss. It had been lingering in his mind all night, and as much as he didn’t want to ruin the moment, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to sleep without talking about it. 

“Hey Y/N, are you still awake?” Harry whispers. 

“Mhm…” She hums sleepily. 

Harry sighs, he feels bad keeping her up, but he knows he can’t keep it inside anymore. He pauses for a moment before finally speaking. 

“Can we talk about… uh, well…” He stutters, not sure how to say it. “You kissed me tonight.” 

Y/N’s breath hitches, her eyes remain closed for a moment before opening them and sitting up. His words wake her up like a bucket of cold water. “Yeah… I guess I kind of did.” She says sheepishly. “But you kissed me back.” She quickly gets defensive. 

Harry chuckles at her comeback, he throws his hands up in surrender. “I did, I know. I’m not denying that.” He takes a deep breath. “I just… listen, you know I love you, and you’re stuck with me forever, no matter what, so no hard feelings either way. I was just wondering if it was… a heat of the moment thing, or in some way intentional…”

Y/N drops her gaze, it definitely helped that Harry said she was stuck with him no matter what. Maybe this wasn’t as bad of a thing as she had thought. They had always been honest in their friendship, so she wasn’t about to start lying to him now. 

“I think it started as a heat of the moment thing, like I didn’t go into this thinking ‘if I win, I’m going to kiss him.’ But when it happened, it felt… good, it felt right.”

A small smile plays on Harry’s face. “Yeah?” 

She looks up at him, her heart starting to race when she sees his expression. “What about you? Did you want to kiss me back, or were you just being polite?” 

“I definitely wasn’t just being polite.” He chuckles. “And it kind of… I don’t know, it opened up this door that I didn’t even know was there. It made me think that maybe this is something more than we’ve thought all these years…”

Y/N nods in understanding. “So, you’ve never thought about us being more than friends before?”

“Honestly, no.” He says quietly, he feels a little bad about that answer; especially with everything he’s feeling now. “Have you?”  

“Maybe once or twice,” she shrugs. “I just, I don’t know, you’re the first person I always go to after a breakup, and we’ll be talking, and you’ll be shitting on the guy, and I’ll just think about how you’re the opposite of all the things you shit on.” 

“But you never-” 

“Because our friendship is too important to me.” She interrupts him. “I always cut those thoughts off as soon as they start, because I never wanted to complicate things. I’m your friend, and what we have is so amazing. I didn’t want to complicate it with extra feelings that could possibly be one sided.” 

“Which they were,” Harry finishes her thought. “Until tonight.” 

“So… what does this mean?” Y/N asks, her heart racing and her stomach in knots. This is a pivotal moment in their friendship, and she’s terrified of what comes next. 

“Well,” Harry starts, a soft, dreamy expression on his face. “If you think about it, we’ve kind of always been a bit like a couple. I mean, you were about to fall asleep in my bed… in my arms. Maybe we should just take that one last step and make things a bit more official.”

Y/N smiles shyly, she can’t remember the last time she ever felt nervous around Harry, because of Harry. “So like, a more than friends situation?” 

Harry chuckles and nods his head, lifting his hand to cup her face, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “More than friends. Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?” 

“That sounded so corny,” she giggles. 

“Sweetheart, if you thought I was corny as your best friend, just wait until you see how corny I can be as your boyfriend.” He says with a goofy smirk. 

“My boyfriend…” She sighs, letting the reality of the moment sink in. 

He lets out a breathy laugh and leans in, pausing just before their lips touch. “My girlfriend…” He whispers before pressing his lips to hers. 

The kiss deepens instantly. Now that their feelings have been fully realized, it’s like fifteen years worth of ‘should have beens’ are all coming to the surface. Harry shifts effortlessly, so that Y/N is laying on the bed with him hovering over her. 

“This really is the best night of my life…” Y/N says softly, as she stares into his eyes.

Harry smirks and leans down, trailing kisses along her neck. “Well get ready, it’s about to get even better…”

[pinknightsinmymind]

【 found family hc's 】

abby anderson x fem!reader & ellie williams x fem!reader

wc: 4.4k

song rec: house song by searows. i listened to this on loop the entire time i was writing.

content: established relationship, modern!au, fluff galore, hc's for both abs and els, christmas with abs!!!!, bbq with ellie and family, minor angst, but this is all fluff so sweet it rots your teeth, hc's AND long blurbs for abby and ellie, mentions of parent loss(in this modern!au abby's mother passed away), mentions of adoption(for ellie's hc's), and sarah is here!! she is ellie's older sister <33 also pls read a/n for more info

a/n: in which you are dating one of the girlies, meet their fathers, and detailing your journey into becoming part of the family. i kinda wrote this with the idea of what it’s like to not come from a healthy family in mind, but it’s also vague and written in a way where you’re able to interpret it and shape it to fit whatever you have in mind and relate it to what you know. the main theme here, though, is finding/making your own family and building a beautiful life despite your past. this is kinda just me hoping i’ll be able to do the same one day. i began writing this while really sad, but i’m posting this in much better spirits. this started with my sadness, but now it makes me feel hopeful. anyways, pls enjoy, and if you think you’ll need them, get your tissues ready. i love you all and you are all so beautiful and worthy of love and good things. and if any of you ever need anything, my inbox and dm's are open <333

GENERAL HEADCANONS — applies to both abby and ellie

It’s an uncomfortable conversation, but when your relationship with her started getting serious, you explained what your family/home life was like and that although you’d love to, your family probably wouldn’t want to foster a close relationship with either of you. You told her you understood if this was a dealbreaker and if it was something she couldn’t tolerate, but that wasn’t her reaction at all. Instead, you were met with complete understanding that almost left you sobbing. You were happy to have someone finally understand that family—and navigating it—hasn’t been easy for you and it was good to not have things out of your control held against you for once.

As your relationship progressed, she made it clear to you that she’d love to introduce you to her family and that they were excited to meet you. She promised that they’d accept you into open arms and that everything would go well, so there was nothing to worry about.

You were nervous, of course, unsure how any of it would unfold because you had never met her family before. You had heard so much about them and knew they must have been amazing people to have raised someone as great as your girlfriend, but you were still scared. What if they could see everything wrong with you with just one look? What if they thought you were too damaged and no good for their daughter? Or what if they just didn’t like you? It was all so worrisome, but your girlfriend assured you it would all be okay.

Meeting the rest of the family was one thing, but meeting their fathers was the scariest part.

ABBY ANDERSON

You met Abby's dad during Thanksgiving—typical and sappy, but just so Abby. Of course she’d bring someone home during the holidays. You had been dating her for almost a year now, so it was about time you met him. You knew that Abby's mother passed when she was very young, and you also knew it would just be the three of you together for the holiday. Jerry did everything to make any occasion happy for his daughter since he knew her life would be hard enough without a mother, and that included holidays. As a busy surgeon—the top one of your city’s hospital, no less—he’s lucky to get this day off, and although he can’t make a whole turkey on his own, he cooks many other dishes to make up for it. He goes all out making desserts as he likes baking more than cooking, and he’s the main reason Abby has such a sweet tooth.

Jerry is nothing but welcoming to you, telling you how he’s heard so much about you (which in turn makes Abby blush, thinking to herself, He wasn’t supposed to say that! but she still keeps her cool). He asks you all about yourself, if you’re in school and what for, what your plans for the future are, then jumps straight into his dad-threats. He tells you in a serious voice that you better take care of his daughter, then lets out a laugh and offers you a slice of pie.

It went well, and you even stayed the night at Abby's childhood home, sleeping in her big and well-furnished room.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I think it went well,” you said. The two of you were huddled up underneath the covers in her old bed, and it’s comfier than you expected. Maybe it’s because Abby has you pulled close to her chest as her hand rubs comforting circles on your back, but it’s still heavenly. “I just can’t tell if he likes me or not.”

“Please, he likes you,” she assured you. You could feel her trailing her hand down your sides gently now. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have been in such a good mood today. Promise.” You let out a small sigh at her words. You didn’t want to argue with her about this, and you felt the only thing you could possibly do was hope she was right.

You did see Jerry a few times after that, but it was only when Abby invited you to go see him with her. He was always kind and welcoming, but you couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in your chest that maybe he didn’t actually like you. What if he was faking all of it? You couldn’t think of any good reasons why he’d like you and accept you with open arms. It didn’t make sense to you because all you knew to expect from a parental figure was rejection. Maybe he just didn’t think you were good enough for his daughter. You didn’t tell Abby any of this, though, because you knew she’d be crushed to hear you don’t think her dad likes you. It’s also because she’ll just tell you for the millionth time he does, and you’d hate asking her for the same reassurance over and over again. In the case of her father’s acceptance, it would do nothing to quell your fears.

You hadn’t expected the holiday season to help erase these fears, but they did. After a late night of watching movies, Abby brought up visiting her father for Christmas with you by her side. She was excited as she told you all about her and her dad’s traditions: drinking hot coco, watching cheesy Christmas movies, stockings full of gifts, and the works. You couldn’t tell her no. Not when her face was beaming with excitement and she had a big smile across her face. You appreciated how much she wanted to include you—no, scratch that, cherished it—but deep down inside you felt out of place. You felt like an environment as soft and as warm as that was not a place where you belonged. It’s not what you knew, not what you were used to, but you put on a brave face for Abby.

You didn’t believe her when she told you how extensively Jerry decorated the house, but it was exactly as she said. As soon as you walked through the front door, you could smell the vanilla candles and the scent of pine mixed together. You were greeted not only by Jerry, but by the presence of mini-Santa statues and multi-colored nutcrackers. There was a big wreath on the outside of the front door, and an even bigger one hung around the family portrait of Abby and her father. The Christmas tree was huge, probably close to six feet tall, and by the smell of the fresh pine emanating from it, you knew it was real. The tree was decorated with gold and silver ornaments, bright lights, tinsel, and a giant star at the top. The fireplace had stockings lined up against the chimney with other statues, trinkets, and family photos lining the shelf. The tree casted a warm glow over the living room, and it just felt so cozy inside. It’s crazy to think that this is what Abby grew up with, that this is the kind of childhood she had, but at the same time you’re happy it was. It’s what she deserves.

It may be Christmas day, but it’s already 9 P.M., so Jerry suggests hot coco, sweets, and a cheesy movie. Abby, of course, agrees and picks out her favorite movie for you all to watch. You helped her pick it out, specifically choosing it because you’ve never seen it before and because you know she loves it. You all get a slice of Jerry’s homemade apple pie, and it’s so warm and gooey you’re sure you’ve never tasted anything like it before. You wonder where in the mix of being a surgeon he found the time to be so good at baking, but it’s still so endearing. You wonder how many times he practiced these recipes for Abby, and it’s so heartwarming. You hope you can one day offer her a home the same way Jerry has.

Jerry settles into his worn-out, leather recliner with his cup of hot chocolate while you and Abby occupy the couch. There’s a glass coffee table in front of it where your two mugs rest as the two of you are snug in a blanket you’re sharing together. You’re nestled into Abby’s side with her arm over your shoulder as you watch the movie together. It’s comfortable, and the warm, yellow lights make the moment that much more beautiful. They cast a glow on Abby, making her look sweeter than she already does. Her hair is down for once, and you’re lost in the tenderness of the moment. Occasionally the two of you move forward and grab your mugs for a sip, but besides that this wholeness has no interruptions. It’s like you can feel your doubts melting away, and you feel comforted, welcomed, by the warmth of this moment. It doesn’t seem to push you away anymore, but rather it’s something you feel compelled to be a part of now. Well, no, that’s not exactly right either. It’s like you are a part of it now, and it’s accepting your embrace rather than your rejection. You don’t feel the need to push it away anymore, to create excuse after excuse as to why you don’t deserve it, and it’s like you’re finally letting it make its home in your heart.

After the movie finished and you all had your fill of hot chocolate, you hear Jerry get up from his seat and mention that he wants to give out stockings. You don’t think much of it, watching the man as he walks up to the fireplace and grabs two of the stockings that were hanging. You hadn’t paid much attention to them earlier, but when he comes up to you and Abby, you realize you should’ve. One has Abby’s name stitched into it with blue and orange thread, and the other has your name threaded into it with your favorite colors. He gives Abby her stocking first, then holds the one with your name on it out towards you. 

“Is that for me?” you asked.

“Sure is,” Abby answered. You glance over at her and she’s practically beaming. She seems so proud of herself.

“Abby helped me make it. She made sure it had your favorite colors and everything,” Jerry explained. You finally take the stocking from his hands, feeling the heft of the weight of whatever was inside.

“I bet she got mad if you suggested a color that wasn’t.” You crack a joke in the face of this moment, because if you think too hard, look at the stocking too long, you might start crying.

“Nearly tore my head off,” Jerry laughed. “But it’s so you know you’re part of the family now.” You nod your head, clenching your jaw as your gaze keeps shifting between the stocking and the floor.

“Thank you,” was all you could manage to say in reply. You’re sure you could burst into tears at any moment, but at the very least they’re happy ones.

ELLIE WILLIAMS

You were never as scared of anything as you were to meet Joel Miller. You had seen him in photos with him and Ellie, and he did not look like he played around. In fact, he looked like he’s never fucked around a day in his life. The man intimidated you, and you had never even met him before.

Ellie’s Uncle Tommy’s birthday was coming up, and you were invited to the family celebration that would include Uncle Tommy, Aunt Maria, Joel, Ellie’s older sister, Sarah, and now you.

You had met Joel in passing with a quick “hello” whenever you visited his and Ellie's house, but you had never formally met him, especially not the rest of the family, either. You had also never met Sarah as she lived in a different city and was older than you and Ellie, but you were excited to. She was a young teen when Ellie had been adopted, and you had heard so many stories from Ellie about what an amazing older sister she was, so that was at least one family member you weren’t scared of. Uncle Tommy and Aunt Maria, though? Maria was intimidating, and Tommy and Joel had both been in the military. Who wouldn’t be afraid?

“Everything’s gonna be okay,” Ellie reassured you. You were both standing in front of Tommy and Maria’s front door, nervous as could be. Ellie held your hand in hers as she rubbed her thumb across your skin. “They’ll love you, promise.” Ellie reached up with her free hand and knocked on the door. A second passed in silence between the two of you before the door opened, and you were met face-to-face with Maria. She had short graying hair and a freckled face that reminded you of Ellie’s, and as soon as her eyes landed on the two of you, her lips turned upwards into a wide smile.

“Ellie, is this [Y/N]?” she asked. Ellie smiled shyly as she nodded her head.

“Yes, this is her,” she answered.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Maria said politely. She was just all smiles, and she was much warmer compared to the scary image of her you created in your head. To be fair, she did seem really intimidating from her pictures, but she was nothing of the sort.

“Nice to meet you, too,” you managed to reply. You were still nervous, feeling like you were choking on the anxious butterflies dancing around your stomach.

“And she’s polite,” Maria prodded. She smiled even bigger as she pulled the door open for the two of you. “Anyways, come in. Joel and Tommy are in the back with the grill set up already, so just follow me.” Ellie walked through the doorway, pulling you with her towards the back of the house. Maria led you through the house’s front hallway into the living den furnished with couches and countless photos and decor hanging on the blue walls, then turned left into the kitchen. Sitting at the table was an older woman at least in her 30’s scrolling through her phone, but her eyes perked up as soon as she saw you all enter the kitchen. Almost immediately an excited smile spread across her face.

“Sarah!” Ellie greeted. The woman jumped up from her seat and gave Ellie a tight hug.

“Ellie, is this her?” she asked. Her eyes kept moving back and forth between the two of you.

“Yes, this is her,” Ellie answered.

“Wow, I’m so happy to meet you!” Sarah cheered. She came over to you and gave you a hug, something you hadn’t expected, but you returned it the best you could. As soon as Sarah pulled away from the hug, she was talking again. The way she carried herself was so confident and firm, and she held great amounts of eye contact while speaking—something you were struggling with at the moment. “Ellie has told me so much! She never stops talking about you!” She had a sweet, Texan accent when she spoke like Joel, while Ellie only had a slight one in comparison.

“Sarah!” Ellie groaned.

“What?” she asked coyly. “Was I not supposed to say that?” The answer was yes, and she knew that, but how could she resist teasing her little sister? Ellie just rolled her eyes.

“Come on, y’all, they’re waiting for us outside,” Maria announced. She nodded her head in the direction of the door behind the kitchen table, and you found yourself taking a deep breath. The door was glass, so you could see the wooden porch outside and the green grass, but no sign of Joel or Tommy—you know, just the two men who terrified you the most.

“Oh, yeah, I was gonna help Dad with the grill,” Sarah sighed.

“You? Helping with the grill?” Ellie teased.

“Hmm, more like standing there and talking to him,” she said.

“That sounds more like what you meant,” Ellie responded.

“Yeah, see y’all out there.” Sarah got up from her seat and was the first to open the back door, the hot air and smell of grilled meat wafting in as soon as she did. Maria followed her soon after, and you knew you and Ellie should follow suit, but you found yourself stuck, unsure what to do.

“Hey, you okay?” Ellie asked. The sound of the door closing shut hung in the air, and you knew you’d have to open it again soon.

“Yeah, just… nervous,” you explained.

“Everything will be alright, promise. I’m gonna be here the whole time, and we’re gonna be eating, too. That won’t be too bad, now, will it?” she asked.

“No, I guess not,” you replied.

“And you’ve got me right next to you. Don’t forget that.” Ellie gave you a sheepish smile, and you did your best to return it despite the queasiness in your stomach.

The barbeque went well, and it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. In fact, you felt well-received by Tommy as Maria and Sarah helped encourage him to hold conversation with you. The two women did a lot to help conversation flow and welcome you as much as possible, but the one person you felt like you weren’t getting through to was Joel. He was just so… quiet. It’s as if he was always on guard, always analyzing the situation, but what did you expect from a guy who used to be in the military? That seems to be the exact kind of disposition he’d have. He only really gave small replies in single words here and there, maybe an autobiographical question for you, then he’d retreat back to his silence. It was honestly unnerving, and as much as you did your best to immerse yourself in the conversation, in Ellie’s little jokes, Tommy’s laughter, Joel intimidated you more than anyone else ever had before. Why was he so quiet? Did he see something wrong with you? Did he not think you were fit to be his daughter’s girlfriend? Was he waiting for you to make a mistake? Was he planning how to tell Ellie that he didn’t think the two of you were a good match? All the possibilities were endless, and every single one terrified you to no end.

Despite the anxiety eating you up from the inside, you did your best to maintain your composure. You answered whatever questions Ellie’s family had for you, laughed at the jokes like you should have, all while trying to keep the crushing fear at bay. Ellie seemed to sense it somewhat, because at multiple points throughout the dinner she’d grab your hand under the table or rub your thigh comfortingly. When the night started slowing down, the sun sinking lower and lower, Tommy and Maria declared the end of the dinner and started clearing the table. Joel and Sarah disappeared into the house, carrying trash and whatever else they could back inside. Ellie leaned in close to your ear in order to speak.

“How are you feeling?” she whispered.

“I’m doing okay,” you answered. “Not as nervous as before, but still a little.”

“Did you enjoy yourself, though?”

“I did,” you replied.

“Joel and Tommy are good at barbecuing, huh?”

You laughed a little at her prodding. “Yeah, they are.”

“Look, we’re gonna get you some extra family points, yeah? Let’s offer to help Maria clean up. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good to me,” you said. This time you were the one to offer Ellie a little smile, one she was happy to see on your face after such a long day.

“Perfect.” She stood up from her chair and brushed off her jeans. “Hey, Maria, let me and [Y/N] help you clean up a bit,” she announced.

“Well, aren’t you sweet?” Maria asked.

“The sweetest,” Ellie joked. You were next to stand up from the table, picking up both your plate and Ellie’s while she gathered the left behind cups. Tommy had already retreated inside with the large dishes of food, leaving you with just Maria and Ellie. It was quiet besides the clanking of the dishes as all three of you walked inside. Ellie walked behind you as you reentered the house, slotting dishes in the sink and discarding whatever trash she had. Ellie came up behind you, her back pressing into yours for a second when Maria disappeared into the living room where everyone else presumably was.

“How far do we wanna take these points?” she whispered.

“Well, what are you thinking?” you asked her.

“I say we wash the dishes,” she suggested, and you could just imagine the stupid, little grin on her face. “It’ll make them like me more, too.”

“You’re such a dork,” you said as the laugh spilled out your lips. You turned around to look at her, and there was a goofy grin on her face just like you expected. Her hands ventured to rest on your waist, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Whatever. Come on, let’s just do it.”

“Okay, you hate doing the dishes, so I’m starting to wonder what this is really about.”

“I… may or may not have promised Maria I’d do the dishes, and she’ll kill me if I don’t.”

“This is why you watch the promises you make,” you said.

“Moving along,” she said in a rushed manner, “are you gonna help me or not?”

“Yeah, because I need you alive.”

You and Ellie slotted yourselves side by side as you were forced to wash the dishes on account of your girlfriend’s promises. She was stuck washing while you dried the dishes. At one point Joel had wandered through the kitchen, muttering a small greeting to you both before disappearing outside. He left the back door open somewhat, but you said nothing, figuring he would be coming back inside soon. Despite the small interruption, Ellie, of course, couldn’t help being a little shit and splashing you with water every once in a while.

“You got my shirt wet!” you’d scold her.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she’d say all fakely. She pulled you into a hug, but once you separated, she splashed you with water again. After washing the dishes and Ellie cleaned the kitchen up a bit, you could tell she was tired and ready to go home.

“You look tired,” you commented to her.

“Yeah, I’m… all tuckered out. You ready to go home?”

“If you are, yeah.”

“Okay, let me find my… Where are my keys?” she asked. She patted at her pockets, looking for any sign of them, only to come back empty. “I think I left them outside.”

“I can go get them for you,” you offered.

“Oh, good idea. You get my keys and I say bye to everyone for us. Perfect.”

“Alright, I’ll go find them for you. Be right back.” You gave Ellie a quick kiss on the cheek before wandering outside through the back door. As soon as you stepped outside, your eyes landed on Joel sitting on one of the chairs with a mug in his hand. You had forgotten he was even out here in the first place, and you hadn’t expected or planned for this interaction with him. You took a deep, calming breath. You needed to act normal.

“Hello, Joel,” you spoke up. He turned to look at you, then returned his gaze to his mug. It was dark outside, and the porch light may have been on, but it was a dim, yellow light. Not at all helpful as your eyes scoured the ground for Ellie’s keys.

“Hello.” It was quiet as you wandered to the table, looking across the top of it for Ellie’s keys. Still no sign of them. You pulled the chairs out, and you didn’t find them on the seats either. You sighed as you pulled out your phone and turned on your flashlight. “What are you lookin’ for?” Joel asked.

“Um, Ellie’s keys. She can’t find them.” You squatted down to the floor, shining the light around the wooden porch as you continued your search.

“Oh, you two gettin’ ready to leave?” he asked. You turned your phone to the right, and something silver glinted back at you. The keys. Thank God. You grabbed onto them and got back up from the ground.

“Yeah, she said she was tired and ready to go home.”

Joel let out a small chuckle. “That sounds like her,” he remarked.

“It very much is her,” you replied.

“I heard her splashin’ you with water in there.”

“She can’t help herself,” you said. “She apologized, then she did it again.”

“Does that… make you mad?” he asked.

“No, not at all.” You were wondering what he was getting at with the question.

“You and her seem to get along well,” he pointed out.

“I think so, too,” you said, hoping you were choosing your words well.

“I can tell she really loves you, you know,” Joel said. He took a sip out of his drink, then glanced at you. “And you seem really good for her, too.” The words hit you right in the heart. You knew from what Ellie told you that Joel wasn’t a man of many words, but these were just enough. They seemed to give you the kind of confirmation you were looking for, that maybe you could put down the anxiety plaguing your mind.

“I’m glad you think so,” you said. You glanced at the mug in his hands again. Was that steam? “Can I ask what you’re drinking?”

“It’s coffee.”

“This late?” you asked.

“The girls always tell me that,” he said, and you saw the smallest glimpse of a smile ghosting his lips. You figured by “the girls,” he must have been referring to Sarah and Ellie, and that small detail stuck out to you. Despite how scary he was, deep down inside he was just a dad. A girl-dad, at that.

“Ellie always tells me how much she hates coffee.”

“She never lets that go. I tell her she has underdeveloped tastebuds to make her mad.”

“That’s perfect for getting under her skin,” you replied.

“That’s why I say it. Anyways, she’s probably lookin’ for you by now, or me, maybe.”

“Probably,” you responded. “After I find her, she’ll probably come tell you bye before we leave. I’m gonna do that now.”

“You go do that,” he said. “And you better take good care of her, by the way.” You smiled a little bit. Had you heard him say that earlier, you probably would have shit your pants, but now you were comforted by the dad-threat.

“I will,” you said confidently.

“Or I will… do something. I don’t know, I’ll figure it out.”

“I take your word for it,” you replied. You turned around to walk back inside, keys in hand, a new kind of pep in your step as you looked for Ellie.

[grievedeeply]

could u write some dating týr headcanons....

this request has been sitting in my inbox ever since týr was announced to be in the game earlier this year. i'm finally getting around to it because i promised myself i would write it as soon as i knew more about his character. well... he's here. it's time. enjoy! i set this before he got locked away by odin, but if you're interested in a version of this post ragnarök just let me know :)

gn!reader | no tws

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dating týr headcanons

you've heard of týr!! everyone has, right? he's the god of war, yet a man who strives for peace. it's inspiring to hear his tales

he's a beloved god, treasured by everyone in all the realms. it isn't a surprise when he visits your home, surrounded by people who adore him. he makes trips to all of the realms, and he's been through a few times, but people never get tired of his company

for a god, he doesn't have an ego. you expected all gods to be the same, thinking themselves better than everyone else around them solely because of their godhood— but týr proved that to be untrue

you met him during one of those trips he made to your village. you ran right into him, your face being met with his chest. you apologized profusely, but all he did was assure you that it was okay

he asked for you to show him around, and a friendship quickly blossomed from that. he finds your culture and home captivating as he does everywhere else, and he finds himself wanting to return as soon as possible after he leaves

he likes you right from the beginning. you're kind to him, you don't treat him any differently than you would anyone else, and you become one of his favorite people in the blink of an eye

týr develops feelings first, and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't a bit scary

he hasn't felt this strongly about anyone else before you, and he doesn't want to tell you out of fear he'll ruin his friendship with you. he prioritizes that more than anything else

you end up reciprocating those feelings, but you don't tell him. after all.. he is a god. what kind of god would love a mortal like you?

though, you being a mortal is something that made him nervous about liking you as much as he did. he knows your time is limited, and it scares him. he wants as much time with you as possible so he spends it with you happily

he doesn't want to confess to you because he doesn't want to stress you out, either. he knows he's a god. he knows it would be scary to hear that a god has feelings for you. so he keeps quiet

until he can't anymore

he wasn't thinking when he said it. you were talking about.. something— he can't remember— but he blurts out, "i like you" and you fall silent

"oh, well. i like you too."

he swallows. "you misunderstand." he regrets it as he looks at your face, eyebrows furrowed with a confused gaze. "romantically. that's.. how i like you."

his tone is so soft... and your heart pounds against your ribcage. all you can do is laugh, take his huge hand in yours and smile. ".. i like you too. romantically."

týr thought his heart was going to explode and all he could do was stare at you, at your smile as you held onto his hand. he laughs, until he realizes you're being serious

he freezes up, eyebrows raised in a shocked expression. a dazed smile on his lips, and he asks if you'll go on a date with him sometime soon. his treat, of course

he has no idea where to take you or what to do. he wants it to be fancy, but not over the top. so.. he takes you out to his favorite restaurant. it isn't too classy, but he hopes you'll enjoy his company no matter the scenery

you have a great time, and he regrets not asking you out sooner if he knew this was going to be the outcome. no matter. he knows you like him now, and he wasn't going to let that go

he asks you to be his partner properly after a few days. he takes you somewhere beautiful in your favorite realm to pop the question. he knows not to worry too much about surroundings, but he wanted it to be special

of course.. you say yes! he's so giddy, happier than he'd been in a long time

onto actual relationship thoughts!

týr is a very giving person, so much so that his main love language is gift giving. he goes to plenty of places, other pantheons, everywhere you can think of, he's probably been

he returns with gifts for you, sometimes they were intended to him and others he bought thinking that they were something you would like. it's very sweet

you have a lot of space taken up in your room from things he's brought back to you. not like you're complaining, though. it does make you feel loved and appreciated, knowing that he thought about you in those moments

he regularly participates in ALL of the love languages, to be honest

quality time is a big thing for him. he's often busy, but when he gets to be with you he cherishes it. he clears his schedule to spend more time with you

acts of service! he'll take care of you if you're feeling sick, or upset, or if there's something you just don't feel like doing. týr is always going to be there for you and he shows it by helping you out with anything

as a diplomat, he has a special way of words. he tells you verbally how much he cares about you often, complimenting you even if you don't believe his words to be true

he loves holding you in his arms, too. týr's 8'5" (256cm) and he is MUCH bigger than you. it's very easy for him to dwarf you in size and it's something he thinks is really adorable

he picks you up pretty often, unless you express that you don't like it. he'll just lift you up to where your eyes meet his and seeing your feet dangling off of the ground never fails to make him laugh

he loves hugging you. you make him feel safe. he knows he's the god of war, he knows he's powerful, and he knows that he can protect himself and you if it comes around to it. but whenever your arms wrap around his waist to hug him.. it makes him feel so protected

he makes you feel safe, too. he'll tell you all the time about how he'd do anything for you, going the extra mile to prove it by actually doing anything and everything you ask him to do for you

týr's height is something you actually really love about him. seeing him duck down to fit into the doorway of your home always makes you laugh. he loves seeing you happy :")

he's the one who said i love you first

it just happened. the two of you were sitting together, casually talking about your days apart when he tells you he loves you through his soft laughter

you take a moment, and you smile, telling him you love him too

he doesn't even realize he said it until you fall silent, but his heart explodes when he hears you say it back. he's glad he told you, so now he can say it without worry whenever he so pleases <3

he would love to take you with him to other pantheons, but he knows he would worry for your safety so he doesn't bring you with him

and... he loves the reunions you have whenever he comes home. it's so cute to him to see your face light up whenever you see him on your doorstep <3

his kisses.. filled with so much love, respect and adoration

he would hold your face in his hands, trying really hard not to smile against your lips as he kisses you. his hands are nearly as big as your head, he can't help it

how he kisses can depend on his mood. usually, they're slow and passionate, but on days where he's frustrated or annoyed, they can be fast— rough

no matter what, he's gentle with you

he's gentle with your heart, your body, mind and soul. he cherishes you and wants nothing more than to keep you safe for as long as he can

he loves you. he'll love you for as long as he lives, and after he dies— he'll love you <3

[zinzinina]

okay I'm not sure I'd you're still doing the uh. thing where you write a scene from a different pov but if you are and have time/interest, would you feel like doing poe pov with that part in directions where he asks how many other guys she's been with? I love love love that fic so much btw and I'm gonna go through your masterlist when I get off work <3

Hello! ✨ A little confession: some of these have been sitting in my inbox for months. I secretly didn't plan on fulfilling this request because it meant that I'd need to go re-read Directions, and I very rarely read my own writing again once it's been posted. But I was in the mood for something fun and easy, and then I actually had a great time revisiting this story! So thank you so so much @buckyisdisabled, @lostinwonderland314, @mandaloriandin and sweet Yearning Human anon for asking for this and for your lovely messages. I really hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it x

Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Rating: Explicit 18+

Warnings: PIV, creampie, oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, squirting, feelings, implied cum eating, overstimulation, masturbation, friends to lovers

This is reworking of a scene from this fic, told from Poe’s POV.

from a certain point of view ask game ✨

———

———

Poe sucks his slick fingers into his mouth, and her taste hits his head like spice; sharp and sweet.

She pants up at him from his pillow (his pillow) her eyes wide as a nervous animal’s, her hands curled into fists. It takes everything he has not to blow his load in his pants right then and there.

He feels a little drunk. He needs to course-correct.

Drastically.

He’d meant it when he told her he thought this would be fun. Because everything is, with her. He thought she’d be giving him shit the whole time. He’d expected her to be unimpressed with him in the way only she ever is; doing what she does best and keeping his feet nailed to solid ground even while his head did tailspins around the sound of her laughing at him. 

But she’s not laughing at him. The way she’s looking up at him…

This, right here, is extremely fucking serious for her.

Maybe he should’ve tried to make this nicer. Maybe he should’ve lit candles.

For reasons that are not entirely clear, he catches himself remembering a particularly fucked up day from several months back. His comms and tracking had both shorted out after a hit in the middle of an above-planet dogfight with no visual, and for about two hours, the Resistance network listed him PKIA. 

When he’d eventually landed back in the hanger, it was chaotic with smoking, twisted astromech parts. Unbeknownst to him, Black One was a ghost ship. 

Mechanics and pilots alike had turned and gaped in silent shock as he’d climbed out of his cockpit, and he’d only had a moment to wonder whether there was something growing out of the top of his head before he’d been knocked off his feet by a sobbing projectile stinking of sweat and smoke in an oil-stained flightsuit.

She’d only stopped crying after socking him in the chest, her voice hoarse as she told him how much of an idiot he was for not switching over to his backup signal.

He’d never wanted to see that look on her face ever again, and if he hadn’t pushed her into verbalising the source of her terror here, he’d be too turned off to go any further. He doesn’t go in for that shit; he wants his partners relaxed and comfortable and enthusiastically willing.

But it’s knowing what she’s actually worrying about—stuck in her head as always, thinking about everyone else; what he thinks of her, rather than focusing on how she feels—that makes him determined to stick with her, as long as she says. 

He’s staggered by the amount of trust she’s putting in him. Shit, he doesn’t know whether it makes his heart ache more, or his dick. Like she has anything to be nervous about. Like she isn’t the prettiest fucking girl he knows. Like making her smile isn’t the single greatest source of pride he gets to hold over himself. 

Doesn’t she know? Can’t she already fucking tell? He’d worship the ground she walks on if he knew she wouldn’t laugh herself sick at him if he tried. 

It would be funny, if it weren’t so painful. That for all of her quick, sharp perception, she’d miss this, so entirely.

“Perfect. You’re perfect,” he says softly, and he can see how little she believes him. “Told you. Nothing wrong with you. I wanna try something,” he continues, before she can say anything to piss him off. He can handle her putting shit on him. He isn’t letting her do it to herself. “You’ll like it, I promise. And if you don’t just tell me and we’ll stop. Okay?”

“Okay,” she says, nodding, her eyes still huge. A sudden throb of affection makes his head feel like it’s filled with tibanna gas. 

“I’m gonna take your pants off,” he tells her, grasping each of her ankles to do exactly this.

She lifts her ass toward him as he wriggles her underwear and pants over her legs, giving him a brief glimpse of the most beautiful view he’s ever seen in his life.

His brain’s still catching up when he sees the furtive way her eyes keep flicking down toward where it feels like his dick’s trying to bust through his fly.

“Don’t you want…?” 

“It’s not about me,” he cuts her off. And if you touch me right now I won’t make it, and I’ll ruin my reputation, and kill any chance of living any of this shit down with you ever again, he decides not to add.

He bends, spreading her legs with both hands. Her clit’s so swollen her labia are parted around it, the soft skin inside her thighs smeared with her first orgasm. 

Her first orgasm—the first one another person’s given her, anyway—and it’s his.

And, oh, it had been so easy.

His ego is not immune to this.

But, nice as it is, it doesn’t quite feel like a boost in the traditional sense. It feels something more like a twinge, hard and new, right under his ribcage. Like vindication, maybe, or—and he feels like a fucking moron for even thinking it—fate.

He bows from the waist and nudges into her with his nose, his tongue laving a stripe up the entire length of her pussy. 

Her skin tastes like soap. Somewhere in the dimmest corners of his head he’s annoyed at this; imagines her scouring every inch of herself raw in the showers before coming to him, filled with nerves and doubt under the spray. He presses the muscle of his tongue into her opening in search of more of the her he’d found on his fingers.

The sound she makes zips lightning-hot straight to his guts. 

His eyes roll briefly closed, and he sinks down onto his elbows, the twisted line of the sheets digging into his skin under his weight.

She shifts her thighs together, her fingers twitching at her side. He steals a glance up and finds her watching him, her lips parted, her eyes too-bright.

“Open your legs,” he encourages, his lips barely lifting from her skin. She sinks her teeth into her lip as she lets her knees fall flat to the bed. 

She’s spread out open in front of him, and he dips his head to continue. 

She flinches and tenses and exhales in turn, reacting to every touch of his mouth as though speaking aloud. It makes him feel violently impatient, and so he moves slower, trying to temper himself. 

He wants to be inside her. 

He wants to swallow her, and to be swallowed by her. Fuck, he’s never wanted anything more in his life.

He’s pretty sure he’s leaking precum into his pants; all the blood having long vacated his brain to swell bruise-achingly hard in his cock. He tries to stay focused, but the reality is that Poe’s thoughts ran away from him the second she set foot in his room. The challenge now is to just try not to do something stupid.

Something stupider than fucking his best friend.

She hisses, tossing her head back, her legs twitching so hard his tongue nearly loses its place against the hot nub of her clit. 

He slides both hands beneath her thighs to lift her hips to his face in an attempt to keep her still, barely managing to tamp down the urge to rut helplessly against the mattress in search of relief.

The smell of her, the taste, fills his senses. But it’s still not enough. He wants to bring her to insensibility; to work that softness into the bed, glutting himself until her whimpers turn to those of overstimulation.

He’d never really considered himself a possessive person, but as she quietly sucks in a sharp, shallow breath, he realises he wants that sound all to himself.

He pulls it out of her with his tongue again, and again, his attention unwavering.

He wants her thinking of this, of him, from now on. Every single time she comes, alone or otherwise. He wants her to dream about him inside her; tongue, fingers, cock, he doesn’t give a fuck. At briefings. At meals. Waiting around bored for launch clearance in her fighter, standing alone in the showers, when someone else presses their hands to her skin, and lifts her chin to meet her lips (and fuck, that hurts to think about, like hitting realspace at-speed, hard enough to grind his bones together). 

She comes with a pained-sounding cry, her pubic bone bumping into his nose and pushing his face away. He drags himself up and finds her reaching her hands out as though to stop him. 

“You okay?” he manages.

“Poe, I want…please…”

“What, baby? Talk to me.” He leans up, bracing himself over her. Maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe she’s had enough and she’s going to tell him to stop, to give her back her pants, to never mention any of this again.

It’s still more than he’d ever imagined he’d get.

Her eyes stay on his and she blinks slowly at him, as though trying to remember who he is. His heart thunks hollowly in his chest, and he waits.

“Fuck me.”

He pauses. It wasn’t what he’d expected her to say. His already-painful cock jumps in his pants at the demand. “You need a break first?”

She answers by trying to drag him down toward her, her hips lifting to press against him, ankles hooked around the backs of his legs. 

He doesn’t wait to be told twice. He shifts his weight, kicking his pants down, settling himself between her legs. 

She ducks her chin and kisses his shoulder.

His head swims. He barely feels the touch of her lips through the material of his shirt, but it hardly matters. The gesture is so small, so careful, so quick, as though she couldn’t help herself.

As though it’s something she’s thought of before.

Which is when it hits him: the one thing he’s never seriously let himself entertain. Does he…actually have a chance? 

Without undue vanity, Poe knows that his looks are the one area, at least, that he can afford not to worry about. He’s not an idiot. He knows exactly how people respond when he flashes his teeth at them, or holds their eyes with his own for a protracted moment from beneath a quirked eyebrow. 

But never her. She’s somehow always been frustratingly, crushingly immune to every single weapon in his arsenal. It had been a source of ire in the early days, while he was still learning the colour of her voice, and the shape of her mind. 

The sadder, slower ache of acceptance had come later; gathering like thunderheads, lingering long.

She wasn’t for him. She didn’t want to be. Letting himself pretend otherwise would have only ever been an exercise in masochism. 

Despite all of this, Poe’s still human. And, as he had come to realise, knowing something intellectually is very different to knowing it physically.

Whenever she smiles at him, and bumps into him, and rolls her eyes at him. Whenever he’s inside somebody else, tasting the sweat on their skin, or stretched out around their pleasure. Whenever he jerks his cock alone in his bunk late at night, ashamed and furious at himself for such a disgraceful breach of their friendship, for the things he’s imagined.

Everything he’s ever done with anybody else; every filthy, beautiful fucking thing, he’d turn himself inside out and crawl over hot coals to do again with her, to her, for her, if she wanted.

And now, here she is.

He might not ever get another shot at this.

He needs to make it count.

“How many other guys’ve you been with?” he says, his voice coming out rough. She looks mortified, but he doesn’t care. “How many?”

“S-six,” she says. 

He nods. He’d already known about Kip and Terrett, and he’d had his suspicions about Rau and Valen. He’s a little disappointed at the knowledge that Rau had let her down with all the others; he wouldn’t have expected it. 

“Then that’s six other times we gotta make up for,” he says, distractedly. 

He presses forward, and the first millimetre he sinks inside her already has him panicking. 

She immediately feels far too hot and close, but the hardest part, the part threatening to undo everything, is the way she’s looking up at him, as though silently pleading with him, and Gods, how she doesn’t need to.

“Oh, sh...shit. You good? I’m good. That’s…ungh, so fucking good.” He’s aware he’s making no sense, but that’s the only thing left in his head, probably the only thing he’ll ever know again: good, good, good.

Her fingers are clenched tight around his forearm, and he thinks she might be holding her breath, but then she lets it go, and the wet bloom of her cunt swallows him fractionally deeper.

“You’re doing so good baby, you’re taking me so well, you feel perfect,” he groans, hoping he doesn’t sound as wrecked as he feels, his guts on fire with need.

She squirms under him, and fuck, she feels incredible. After coming twice he can feel the evidence of how wet she is, the smooth glide of her body gripping close around him, giving way slowly. 

It’s suddenly too fucking hot in his room. He can feel his hair sticking to the back of his neck and around his ears, and it’s vaguely annoying, but he couldn’t give a shit. 

Her warm breath meets his chin, and he follows the line of her attention down the length of his own body, to the place where his hips are flush against hers. Between her parted legs he can see his cock half-sunk inside her, and his face presses to her damp, salty skin as he murmurs to her, pressing forward, enveloped entirely by her.

He has no idea what he’s saying. It just feels important for her to know. 

Whatever it is, he never gets the chance to find out.

Because then she’s kissing him, and her mouth is on his and her lips are parting and they’re soft and her teeth are catching at the dry ege of his lower lip and her breath is hot and it’s hers and it’s in his mouth and it’s in his lungs and it’s oxygenating his fucking blood and pumping through his heart and his brain and searing through every single part of him until she’s all that’s left.

He’s pretty sure he’s dying.

“Holy fuck,” he thinks he’s trying to say, and he feels her smiling, gently biting into his lip, keeping him quiet. 

She rolls her hips up against his, pushing herself off the bed. He can feel himself rapidly losing control as she throws her head back, her brows drawn, teeth cutting into her own lip.

“Baby, wait, wait a sec,” he pants.

“What’s wrong?” she gasps, and of course she doesn’t listen; she never fucking listens to him, rocking up toward him, making him see stars. 

“Just…fuck, hang on.” Cold showers, he thinks, grimly. Freezing cold showers, and depressurised-cockpit earaches. Nine hour-long diplomatic debriefs. The rancid-smelling mucus trail Klaud leaves behind everywhere he goes.

“Is this…not good?” she says, low and weak. “Poe?”

His eyes nearly roll back in his head as she whispers his name, and the sound jolts through him—her voice, the one he knows so well—like this, with him.

Whatever pitiful electricity’s still left in the meat of his brain fizzles out. “Oh shit, say my name again,” he begs, not even waiting for her to do so. 

He’s already moving, needing to feel the walls of her cunt stroking and sucking at his cock. “D’you know how many times I’ve thought about this? About being inside you like this? And I never, ever thought you’d wanna…” 

He shouldn’t be saying this. He’s gotta be real fucking careful, if he doesn’t want to accidentally tell her every shameful daydream he’s ever had about her and disintegrate what’s left of their friendship into dust. 

“You’re fucking perfect,” he tells her instead. “Your pussy is perfect.” 

She recoils, and it’s equal parts adorable and infuriating that even now she’d be embarrassed to hear him say this.

He almost laughs. “Why’s that make you shy? You don’t like me talking about your pussy? You wanna know how good you taste, baby? You’re sweet, so sweet and tight and—” and fuck, he can still taste her on his lips, and he watches her carefully, finding the place that makes her fall boneless and focusing there, right there, until the viselike grip on his arms weakens and she’s coming again.

Her voice breaks, but he doesn’t slow. She can take it. 

He pushes her hips down, fucking her into the mattress, skin clapping on skin. She’s yanking at his hair hard enough to hurt, but he relishes the pain because it keeps his vision clear; exactly where he wants to be. 

Her orgasm tumbles into another, and he seizes her knees, lifting her toward him as he picks up his pace. She moans, belatedly trying to cover the sound with her hand, and it’s the sweetest music he’s ever heard. He is never, ever going to be able to get that sound out of his head again.

“Hey, hey. Let me hear that,” he says, leaning closer, dragging her hand away. “Don’t you cover that up. Come on, baby, I wanna hear you.” She presses her lips together, and he huffs, driving himself into her just a little harder than strictly necessary.

He’s rewarded with a weak, throaty whimper, and he grins at her. “That’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” he confesses.

Her nipples stand through the thin, sweat-sheer fabric of her tank top, her softness rippling upwards with every stroke. He watches her body greedily, wanting more, wanting everything all at once. 

He wants, very badly, to lick her again, all the way from her neck to her sweet, trembling cunt. He can still taste her on his tongue as he presses his fingers down to her clit, just above the place where he’s still pumping in and out of her.

She cries out, coming again until she’s melting wet into the bed. 

He still doesn’t slow, but his thoughts have run away from him and all of a sudden he realises it’s too late, far too late to stop himself.

He wants her full of his cum, until he’s emptied out all of the ache of himself into her, and her pretty, swollen cunt’s overfull with him until he dribbles out from between her lips and onto his fingers, making a mess of the sheets so he can start all over again.

Right at the precipice of his climax, she opens her eyes and looks up at him. There are tears of overstimulation clinging to her eyelashes, and her fingers are clutching gently at the back of his shirt. 

Nobody has ever laid me down as low as you, he thinks, surprised at the strength of his emotion, willing her to understand.

But then he’s coming so hard his limbs go numb, and he isn’t thinking anything anymore. 

He presses himself deep, deep inside, shaking violently as she swallows every pulse of his orgasm. His heart is thunderous in his ears, his muscles liquefied. He slumps, panting.

If she objects to the deadweight of his body over hers, she doesn’t say anything. He stays there, smothering her, trying to regain his breath, until he can feel her beginning to shift uncomfortably beneath him.

“Was that…okay?” she says, ridiculously, like his soul didn’t just leave his body.

He doesn’t even bother responding to the question. “You’re crazy,” he muses instead. “She’s crazy.”

He’s lifting himself off her when his chain swings from the neck of his shirt, clocking her between the eyes. “Oh, shit,” he says, as she gasps in pain. “Sorry, baby.” He presses his fingers to the spot, feeling guilty. “Normally I’d’ve taken that off.”

He’s usually far more thoughtful than this when he has company, but this time he hadn’t unclipped his necklace, or changed his clothes or sheets. The thought simply hadn’t occurred to him. Because she doesn't feel like—has never felt like—a guest in his bed. In fact, her absences have only ever felt like temporary discomforts to be endured until her return.

She’s scowling at him, her nose wrinkled up like a Weequay’s, and it’s so fucking cute he wants to kiss her again. “Why didn’t you?” she says.

She needs to ask? “Because it’s you.”

As he crawls back down between her legs, he finds a spectacular mess of cum and sweat and the evidence of her orgasms on the sheets, and fuck, it’s soaking down here. He wonders whether she even realises what she’s done.

He’s disappointed he didn’t get to watch. He’s sure he can get her to do it again, though.

She blinks down at him, her eyes glassy. “What are you doing?”

His mouth waters watching the way her wet skin shines and he feels an answering twitch in his recently-softened cock. “Cleaning you up. We’re not done yet.”

Her eyes widen, but whatever she does next, he misses it.

He’s preoccupied.

Just tagging a couple of the lovely people who commented on the original and might be interested in this, absolutely no pressure of course! x

@saradika @oscarseyebrow @the-little-ewok @bacarasbabe @writeforfandoms @hardc0rehaylz @moonlight-prose @lcvenderblues @onfiretakemehigher @littlemousedroid @viceofdionysus @grufflepuff-writes-stuff @ifimayhaveaword @millllenniawrites @liamakorn @lilhawkeye3 @grumpymuffinmama @dailyreverie @mandelirious

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One step forward - Part 2.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot

Summary: Second part to 'One step forward'. If Alex was good at something, it was keeping her word and her promises, doing the best she could to not disappoint. But what happens when she leaves once again and she leaves Casey behind? Will she keep the promise?

A/n: So...I have to admit that I am very nervous about this second part, not sure if it's what people expected but I felt like it was a good storyline. I must warn you...there is angst. Maybe a little more than I expected. And this is long. I just couldn't stop writing. But here is second and last part of this one shot. I have to thank those who have read the first part and loved it, it really made me feel so good about posting🥹 And those who have sent requests that I'll be working on them over the weekend. If you have any more requests, please feel free to send them on my asks or my inbox, and I'll try my best to deliver. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

A/n 2: Also to clear things out a bit, I changed the story line a bit? Since it was never clear what Casey did, I brought back Mary Clark, and then I completely ignored the show Conviction😂 You’ll understand when you get there😉

Part 1.

*not my gif*

Casey had been asleep when she heard Alex talking on the phone with Hammond. She heard the crack on her voice as she asked Hammond for a few more days, saying that she’d be careful and it’d be like she had never been here again, but judging by Alex’s silence, she knew that Hammond had denied her request. It broke Casey’s heart to know that Alex would have to go back to Witness Protection, also go back to that life that Alex said she hated so much, she felt bad to know Alex would be alone once again and she wouldn’t have any way to communicate to anyone who knew her. She had already heard stories of the way she found out about her mom, how she had to go out with people around her in case something happened, she had become paranoid. And the worst part was, that Casey wouldn’t know where she was going, she wouldn’t have a way to find out because Hammond would just take her somewhere new once again, and it wasn’t like Casey could just leave with her, she had a job to return to, she knew Alex wouldn’t let her drop it just because of her. But to imagine her life without her? Now that was impossible.

Yes, maybe it was silly, maybe it was too soon, but Casey had to bury these feelings for years. She had already admitted to Alex that she had also seen her every now and then in court, or how she heard Branch talking about her or even had seen her on TV about an SVU case. But truth to be told, Casey had known her since college days. Who didn’t know about Alexandra Cabot? Top of her class, the favorite of the school, of course she knew about her. She had seen her so many times at the coffee shop she used to work in but was always shy to say anything, so she’d always ask someone else to take care of Alex’s table. Her silly crush was too much for her to handle, she had so much to do that she couldn’t get distracted with it. And then Charlie happened. That whole ordeal of being with him, of trying to fix something that was not in her hands, and then shutting down to almost everyone because of what she went through.

The moment she heard again about Alex, that silly little crush reappeared the moment she saw Alex in court. She was supposed to be preparing for her own court, but she had been curious to see Alex working, and boy did she not disappointed. She was not sure if she was entranced in the way Alex moved around the courtroom or the way her voice sounded so serious and defying at the same time, but when it came to the victim, it was so comforting and delicate. She had been 5 min late that day, and she cursed Alexandra Cabot for it, though she knew it had been her fault. And the day she heard about Alex dying? Her heart had broken into a million pieces, she had mourned a person she barely even knew, and the fact that Branch thought it was a good idea to have Casey replacing her, made her feel even sadder and a bit upset, because no one could replace Alex.

Thinking back on how both of them had so many chances to get to know each other, but the two of them were shy to even say a hello, made Casey figure out that life could change in an instant and most of the times life was not fair, but it could also give you second chances if you really looked at the bright side of it all. So she laid there in her bed, staring at Alex moving around her room talking on the phone and wishing she had more time with her. Alex’s words replayed in her mind as she looked at her; I cannot just come back, Casey. I don’t want you to wait for me. Even with Connors behind bars, they had no idea if Alex was out of danger and they couldn’t risk it, but they also didn’t know how much longer this could last.

“You’re awake.”

Casey looked up at Alex and offered a small smile. “I heard you on the phone.”

Alex sighed softly as she went back to bed, moving close to face Casey. She placed her hand on Casey’s cheek and stroked it softly. “I’m sorry, I should’ve taken the call in the living room.”

“It’s okay.” Casey smiled. “So…you have to go on Thursday, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Alex nodded softly as she bit her lip.

“You really can’t tell me where you’re going?”

Alex shook her head. “I don’t even know myself.”

Casey sighed softly as she nodded. “It’s for your own safety.” She whispered softly as she looked at Alex, trying to hold back her tears.

“I’ll memorize your number and he won’t know that I’m calling you.”

“Alex.”

“No.” Alex snapped as she took a deep breath. “They can’t take more away from me. Not you. Not when I just got you.” She whispered softly as she rested her forehead against Casey’s.

“We cannot risk this. Hammond would kill me.” Casey huffed a chuckle.

“Over my dead body.” Alex grinned.

Casey scrunched her nose and shook her head. “Not a good joke, Cabot.”

Alex chuckled softly as she kissed her nose. “I know, I’m sorry.”

Casey sighed. “I just wish we had more time.”

“Me too.” Alex smiled. “Hopefully this ends soon.”

Casey nodded. “Hopefully.” She sighed softly. “Okay. We’ll have schedules so he doesn’t know you’re calling me. We need to be safe with all this.”

“We will.” Alex smiled. “I just want to at least be able to hear you once a day.”

Casey felt her eyes watering again, nodding softly. “Me too.”

Alex sighed as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “It’ll get better.” She whispered against her lips. “I’ll come back.”

“You better.” Casey smiled sadly, placing her hands on Alex’s waist to pull her closer to her, kissing her lips softly.

********************

Casey was biting on her pen as she tried to focus on the file she had in front of her, but her eyes kept going back to her clock, staring at it as if that was going to make time go faster. Alex was supposed to call her 30 min ago and she hadn’t heard anything from her since the day before. They had a night call since Casey had been busy all day between arraignments and trial and Alex knew that if Casey didn’t answer the first time, it was because she was busy in court or with the squad, so the next chance was at night, which it was both their favorite times to talk. But today, Casey had been in her office all day long, so of course time felt longer since she had been sitting there for hours, and Alex was nowhere to be found and she couldn’t risk calling her. She sighed as she dropped her pen for the third time, rubbing her face as she felt the stress taking over her.

 The moment the phone rang, her hand flew to grab it, almost spilling the, still full, coffee that she had just beside the phone, only to groan as she heard Elliot’s voice in the other line. She hadn’t noticed that Olivia was just walking into her office, snapping to Elliot that she couldn’t get a warrant unless they had a good reason for it, and she was not about to risk having trouble with Petrovsky just for a gut feeling and no valid reason. She hung up and her face went back to her hands, completely ignoring the fact that Olivia had walked into the office and now stood right in front of her.

“Tough day?”

Casey looked up at Olivia, a hint of fear in her eyes but relaxing as soon as she saw the woman. “You could say that.” She sighed. “Thought you’d be with Elliot.”

“Ah, no. Fin is with him, I’m here to try to convince you of getting the warrant.” Olivia grinned as she sat down.

Casey scoffed. “Guess you heard what I just told Elliot.” She grinned as she looked at her.

“Casey, are you okay?” Olivia said softly as she tilted her head.

Casey shrugged. “Why would you ask?”

“I’m not trying to be mean or anything but…you look a bit distracted today and more stressed than normal.”

“Just a lot of paperwork and reading to prepare for trial.”

Olivia hummed. “So, has nothing to do with something else.”

Casey shrugged as she shook her head. “Not really.”

“So, it has nothing to do with the fact that Alex hasn’t called?”

Casey felt her heart stopping for a moment as she stared at Olivia. She looked at her as if she had just discovered her biggest secret, which technically, it was sort of a big secret since the whole squad swore that Alex had left that same day when she won the case, and Casey never mentioned a thing about Alex staying in her apartment for 3 days, or anything about what happened between them. So Olivia suddenly mentioning her made her feel a bit terrified because somehow, she knew that either Branch, Cragen or Olivia would be the first ones to know if anything happened to Alex.

“Why would you ask that?” Casey’s voice lowered, almost cracking as she felt her throat going dry.

“I heard you the other day.” Olivia offered a small smile. “I didn’t mean to hear anything but…you left your door a bit open, and I happened to hear you saying Alex’s name. And then, 2 days ago, you excused yourself at the precinct and when I went to find you, you mentioned her again. Unless you’re holding out on me and met another Alex, I like to think that you’re referring to Alex Cabot.”

Casey sighed as she looked down at her hands that had now come together, fidgeting with her fingers. “Yes, it is Alex Cabot.”

Olivia nodded. “Care to tell me what’s going on?” Casey looked back at her with a hint of doubt. Olivia smiled. “C’mon, Case. I did hide for a whole year that Alex was actually alive.”

Casey huffed a chuckle and nodded. “Right.” She sighed softly. “Alex…we had our moments…when she came back to replace me. The day she left…she actually went back to my apartment. She stayed with me, for 3 days.”

Olivia raised her brows. “So, you two are-“

“Not that we had time to disclose what we were but…” Casey nodded. “Something happened between us. But she had to leave.”

Olivia nodded. “And you have no idea where she is.”

Casey shook her head. “She calls me, we talk, but she doesn’t exactly disclose where she is or anything about her new identity. We just…keep each other company.”

Olivia smiled softly. “I knew those looks you two gave each other back when she first came back were not nothing.”

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah well, it took us a while.”

“Certainly.” Olivia chuckled, but then her smile faded a bit. “You don’t have any idea when this will be over, do you?”

Casey shook her head as she looked away, feeling her eyes watering. “No.”

Olivia moved to the edge of the chair and leaned onto the desk to grab Casey’s trembling hands. “I’m sure she’ll be back, Casey.”

Casey hadn’t even noticed she had started trembling until she felt Olivia’s hand on hers. She looked back at her, a tear rolling down her cheek. “What if she doesn’t?”

Olivia sighed. “I’m sure she’ll let you know.”

“I’m afraid that she’ll regret everything that she said to me and that at the end…I’ll be here waiting and then she never comes back.” Casey bit her lip as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

“If there’s one thing I admire from Alex, is that she keeps her word. And I’m sure as hell that whatever she said to you, she’ll keep it.”

Casey nodded softly as she smiled. “I sure hope so.”

********************

Casey laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling while her cellphone laid on her stomach. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’s been in this position, but one thing that she was sure of is that sleep was nowhere near to come. After finally giving up on work, she had decided to go to the batting cages for a while to distract her mind, it’s been a while since she had been there, so she knew it’d definitely keep her busy and it’d also make her feel at least a bit better. But then, coming back to her apartment made her feel down once again. She knew she couldn’t keep this going, it had been a full year already since Alex had left, since the daily calls started, but it was draining. There was a point where she got mad with herself because they had only spent 3 days together after confessing their feelings for each other, which if she really thought about it, they hadn’t actually talked about whatever was going on with them, they just made sure to show their love for each other without actually saying it.

But Casey knew…deep inside her, she knew. Since she saw Alex walking into her office, she knew that stupid little crush was back and stronger than ever. Those small moments they had together while preparing for trial, the stares, and small touches, it was impossible for Casey to not feel that way, she knew it was pretty obvious that she had heart eyes for Alex in every moment, which made it a bit harder to focus on her task but also knew that this case was important for everyone, so she had to put her best posture and keep going. And then, seeing Alex back had made her go back to those feelings; foolish girl thinking that she could get over it but then Alexandra Cabot dared to show up again and steal her heart one more time, and she wasn’t even mad about it. She knew it’d happen over and over again as long as Alex was present. Casey had no space for another person, and she didn’t want anyone else, she wanted Alex.

Her hand unconsciously went to her neck and grabbed onto the small diamond that rested against her neck. There were times when Casey wore nothing other than earrings and sometimes a simple necklace if she remembered to put it on, but the last night Alex had been there, she gave Casey the necklace that she was wearing. Casey had tried to tell her no, but Alex kept pushing her to keep it. Casey laughed softly at the memory, feeling tears rolling down her cheeks as she recalled that night.

“You know, I’ve worn that necklace more times than I can count.” Alex chuckled softly as she played with the small diamond, the necklace now on Casey’s neck. Her head resting against her hand as she looked down at Casey.

“Which is why you should keep it.” Casey smiled as she looked at Alex.

“It’s now yours.”

“You know, I’m pretty sure they’ll notice it’s not actually mine if you’ve used it so much. Plus, me wearing something so expensive? Please.” Casey grinned.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully as she grinned. “You’re so funny.”

“The best.” Casey chuckled.

Alex smiled softly as she looked at it and then looked at Casey. “It looks beautiful on you. And it’s my promise that I’ll come back.”

Casey felt her heart beating a bit faster at Alex’s words, smiling softly as her hand moved to lay on top of Alex’s, taking it away from the necklace and bringing it to her lips.

“Ms. Cabot…you’re too cheesy.” Casey smirked.

“You know what, I take it back.” Alex laughed along with Casey.

Casey bit her lip softly as she smiled. “I’ll hold you to that promise.”

Alex smiled and leaned down to kiss Casey’s lips.

Casey snapped out of her thoughts when she felt her cellphone vibrating in her stomach, rapidly grabbing it, and answering the call. “Hello?”

“Hello pretty girl.”

Casey smiled softly and sighed in relief. “Hi.”

Alex chuckled softly. “Did you have your phone in hand already? You answered pretty fast.”

“Well, I kinda have been waiting all day for a pretty blonde girl to call me, but never happened.”

Alex chuckled softly. “I’m sorry. I had some stuff to do.”

“Oh? Ms. Cabot had a busy day?”

“Believe it or not, I did. I went grocery shopping and if I happened to get the phone out, one of the guys would’ve told Hammond that I have a cellphone with me.”

Casey nodded. “Makes sense.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve called earlier.”

“You know that I love when you call me at night.” Casey smiled softly. “Helps me sleep.”

Alex stayed quiet for a moment, a faint sigh could be heard. “Helps me sleep too. I somehow imagine you’re here.”

Casey grinned. “Cheesy.”

“Don’t even.” Alex laughed.

Casey sighed softly and stayed quiet for a moment. “Alex?”

“Yes?”

Casey bit her lip softly. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Case.” Alex cleared her throat. “But uh, hey tell about your day! I’m sure the squad got on your nerves once again.”

Casey chuckled. “You wouldn’t even imagine.”

********************

Casey slammed the door behind her and threw her bag to the floor, not caring where it landed or if it hit something. Tears rolled down her face as she tried to calm her breathing. This was not happening. This was definitely not supposed to happen. She fell to the floor as she sobbed uncontrollably, her whole body feeling heavy and her chest feeling like it was about to explode. How could she let this happen? What was she supposed to do now? She kept hearing her phone vibrating in her bag, but she was in no condition to answer it, she didn’t want to talk to anyone, no matter who it was. This stupid system only showed that even when people tried to do the right thing, it was still not enough, and you’d get punished for it. A punishment for doing the right thing, but the bad guys got away with it no matter what. And now, she was suspended for 3 years. 3 years. For a stupid fucking brady violation.

And the person that she believed would have her back, was actually the person who stabbed her. Lost perspective? She didn’t. She just figured out that if she had the power to not let the bad guy win, then she’d do anything to do exactly that. But she didn’t think it through. She didn’t think of the consequences that could happen. She’s known people that had done this before, and they still have their license. Hell, she was so lucky that she had only been suspended and she still got to keep her license. She still stood by her words when she said that she didn’t want this job if justice wasn’t served, but maybe she meant it a little too much that now she was in this situation.

Life gave you second chances? Fuck that. She was naive to believe that. She got everything wrong. Either life hated her so much or things were just not meant to be. Not only had she lost the chance to do what she loved but she also lost the person she loved. Almost a year and a half since she last heard from Alex. She had simply stopped calling, she never said anything. Did Casey do something wrong? She didn’t know, but Alex had vanished once again and this time, she had no way of contacting her. What was she supposed to do? Call Hammond to ask? He’d kill both Alex and Casey if he knew they had been talking. But what if it was Alex who got tired of just calls? Maybe she had made the decision that it was better to just leave it there and not say anything to Casey.

But why would she do that? Why would she just leave Casey like that? What happened to the promises? To every one of their conversations? Had they meant nothing to Alex? Had Casey been a simple distraction for Alex until she found something else to do? Until she found someone new? Maybe that was it. Maybe her biggest fear came true, and Alex had finally figured out that after all, that promise was useless, and she’d never come back. Maybe she met someone, maybe she fell in love and figured out that having a new life wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Maybe she was already out of Witness Protection, and she had decided not to tell anyone because she had someone new in her life. But Casey was now sure that Alex was out of her life. She was gone. And there was nothing Casey could do, other than cry and mourn Alex once again even if she was not entirely gone. Now that she needed her the most, she was gone. She wanted nothing more than to find her, but what was the point in doing that? She’d only waste her time once again and she’d only get her heart completely shattered. Casey was alone. Completely alone.

********************

“What were you thinking? Did you really think we wouldn’t find out?”

Alex scoffed. “You didn’t for a whole year.” She snapped as she looked back at Hammond.

“We don’t know if you’re completely safe, Alex. What if someone tracked down the calls and came to you?”

“She didn’t know anything. She didn’t know where I was, we just talked. I needed someone to talk, I didn’t just want to be locked in the house again without doing shit or talking to anyone.” Alex shrugged as she shook her head. “Connors is in jail. I am not that important anymore for someone to want to kill me.”

“You still needed to be safe!”

“At what cost?! To have a normal life?! I have no life here! I was robbed! I lost everything!” Alex cried out as she yelled. “Do I need to remind you that I couldn’t even go to my mother’s funeral?! Only Olivia and Elliot knew I was alive, my whole family thought I was dead. I left after trial, I couldn’t even say goodbye to the people I cared about. You expected me to just go back and come back and lose that again? I was not going to let you take her away from me.” She felt her blood boiling as she spoke while tears rolled down her cheeks.

Hammond shook his head. “I’m sorry, but we cannot risk it.”

Alex laughed darkly. “Do you think I won’t try to contact her?”

“You won’t. Because you perfectly know that if you try, you’re also putting her at risk.”

Alex furrowed her brows. “I’m not.”

“Alex…you were a target after you tried to convict someone. Novak convicted Connors and went on to win the case. We don’t know if he had any other contacts, don’t you think that they’d also want to go after her? They tried to kill Antonio for a second time before he went to testify. Why would they stop?”

Alex looked away as she sobbed. She knew he was right. And she knew the risk of the calls, but this never crossed her mind. She was right, one way or another, there could be a possibility that not only was she at risk, but Casey could also be at risk and if they knew she was connected to Alex, they could take revenge or do anything to get Alex or to hurt her. Nothing had happened in a whole year, but Alex knew better than to be a fool and believe that it wouldn’t happen again.

“You cannot contact her again, Alex.”

Alex stayed quiet for a moment, looking back at him. “I know.” She then whispered, her chest feeling heavy as she knew it was now over, and there was nothing else she could do.

********************

“Are you sure I can’t come with you?” Casey looked at Alex as she finished dressing up.

Alex turned to look at Casey and offered a small smile. “I’ll be fine. I need to return the car and Hammond will meet me there. I don’t want you to come back alone.”

Casey bit her lip softly. “You know I didn’t mean that.”

Alex sighed softly as she walked back to the bed, sitting right in front of Casey and grabbing her hand. “They’re waiting for you to go back. You have a life here, Case.”

“I can just drop everything. They’ll find someone else.”

“Case.” Alex placed her other hand on Casey’s cheek, noticing her teary eyes. “I can’t let you do that.”

Casey looked down at her lap and closed her eyes to avoid the tears. “I know.” She whispered softly.

Alex moved a little closer until her knee met Casey’s. “It’ll be over before we know it. Maybe I’m able to come back before time, we never know.”

Casey nodded softly as she looked back at Alex. “I just wish we had more time together.”

“I do too.” Alex smiled and leaned in, kissing her lips softly. “I wish I hadn’t been a coward and I had talked to you before.”

“We were both cowards.” Casey chuckled softly.

“We’ll recover that time. Someday.” Alex smiled sadly as she kissed Casey’s forehead.

“This is not fair.” Casey whispered softly.

“I know, it isn’t.” Alex sighed.

Casey looked up at Alex as tears rolled down her tears. “Please, come back to me.”

Alex stared into green eyes and smiled softly. “I will.” She leaned in again to kiss her lips. “I’ll come back.” She whispered against her lips and kissed her again.

Alex opened her eyes as the subway came to a stop, she grabbed her bag and stood up to get off. She looked around for a bit, seeing that even if it was a bit late, the place was crowded, she thought that maybe they were going back home, or some were returning from their jobs. She remembered the times she took the subway to go back to her apartment, that apartment that she now didn’t recognize. It was her first week back in New York, and even if she was afraid to walk around the streets of New York alone, she needed to familiarize herself with the city again, if she decided to stay here after all. At first she didn’t know where to go, she just walked and walked until she chose to grab the subway. She had stopped by the courtroom, curious to see the place she spent most of her days in, she had even hoped to see familiar faces but that’d be too much to ask for. She even thought about stopping by the precinct and to another specific place but…she didn’t think it’d be a good idea.

She walked into a small bar that was a few blocks away from her apartment, sitting by the bar and asking about the usual drink that she always had after a tough case. It felt so familiar, yet so different. She hummed as the liquid hit her throat, missing the taste of it since all she ever had back ‘home’ was either beer or tequila that she bought, she barely went to bars, she barely went out as it was. She finished her drink and asked for another, smiling at the bartender. As she was about to get her wallet out to open a tap, she looked at her right side and saw a figure sitting at the very end of the bar, her heart dropping for a moment as she recognized it. She recognized her. Just in time the bartender placed the drink in front of her, she looked at him and asked if she could cover the drinks of the person at the end of the bar. She gave him her card and smiled before she got up and grabbed her drink. She could finish her drink and run out of the bar, and never look back again, but she couldn’t do that again, she could run away when she was just back. When this was her chance.

Was this even a good idea? What if she really didn’t want to see her or talk to her? Alex was 100% sure that Casey hated her at this point. She never called again, not even a message, but she had her reasons and she hoped that Casey would want to listen to her. She stood there by her chair, drinking her drink, and smiling softly as she studied Casey’s face. She had matured so much, her hair was back to its natural color, but she still looked as beautiful as ever. But there was also something that had changed; she looked…sad, exhausted, that light in her eyes that she loved was now gone. Was this her fault? There could be other reasons for sure, but Alex could be a reason behind this, and she hated herself so much for it. She noticed the bartender taking the drink to Casey and explaining that her tab was now covered. Casey looked up to try to find the person and that was Alex’s cue to walk to Casey; it was now or never. Casey’s eyes finally fell on Alex, she noticed the surprise and confusion in her face, maybe a hint of anger. Alex offered a small smile as she sat beside Casey, placing her drink beside Casey’s.

“Thought you could use a drink.” Alex smiled.

Casey stayed serious and quiet for a moment, confusion washing over her face as she looked at Alex, her eyes studying Alex. “Is it really you?” She whispered almost to herself.

Alex’s heart broke at her words, nodding softly. “It is me. I’m back.”

Casey took a deep breath and looked around the bar, almost as if she was looking for a camera or something as if this was a whole joke. She couldn’t get any words out when her eyes went back to Alex’s, she was speechless, her whole body trembling. She was confused, that’s all she could figure out. She felt anger, happiness, sadness, everything at once, but the only way she could describe it at the moment was that she was completely confused. Alex’s heart broke a little at the sight of Casey, maybe this wasn’t the right way to do it, she could’ve called first and not just show up like this, that in her defense, she didn’t know she was going to find Casey in this bar, though she knew Casey’s place wasn’t too far away from here. She saw how Casey grabbed the drink and finished it all, groaning a bit as she placed the glass back in its place. Alex sighed softly as she dared to place her hand on Casey’s hand.

“Casey.”

“No.”

Alex furrowed her brows. “I know-“

“I cannot do this right now.” Casey shook her head as she cried out, staring at the empty glass.

“I can explain. Please, I-“

“Not here.” Casey looked back at Alex and bit her lip, getting up from the chair and taking her hand away from Alex’s. “I’ll meet you outside, I just…need a moment.” She grabbed her purse and left some dollars on the countertop, exiting the bar right after.

Alex sighed heavily as she looked at the bartender and asked to close the tab. She finished her drink and thanked the bartender, grabbing her card and putting it back on her purse, offering a small smile before she exited the bar too. She stood by the door for a moment as she saw Casey facing the street. She felt bad for doing this to her, she knew this had been a bad idea, but she couldn’t just leave the bar without saying anything. She slowly walked to her and extended her hand but put it back down as she stared at Casey. It had been clear that she hadn’t been comfortable with Alex touching her hand back in the bar so she would keep her distance.

 “Casey?” Alex whispered softly.

Casey looked back at Alex, her eyes red and puffy. She sniffled and nodded softly. “Let’s uh…let’s go to my apartment.”

The whole way to Casey apartment, Alex tried to focus her eyes on Casey, trying not to be the paranoid person that she had become in the last few years, she knew they were safe, that she was safe, but she still couldn’t help but feel a bit scared as they walked. Alex had planned to go for a drink or two and then call a cab to take her home, but if Casey wanted to walk, they’d walk. As for Casey, her mind kept spinning around, not sure what she was really doing. She had never really planned what she’d do if Alex did come back at some point. Without Alex noticing, she kept looking down at her hands, trying to find a sign of a ring or something, but nothing was there, which made part of feel relieved by this, but she was also slapping herself in her mind for even looking for something. She was supposed to be mad, she wasn’t supposed to do this. She should’ve left her back at the bar, why would she even accept to talk to her? But god, she so wished she could just wrap her arms around Alex and hug her, she needed her hugs more than anything.

Once they got to Casey’s apartment, Casey closed the door behind her and sighed softly as she rested her head against the door, mostly preparing herself for whatever was coming. She turned to look at Alex, who only stood a few feet away from her, waiting for Casey to say anything or move, whatever she was going to do, Alex would literally follow. Casey couldn’t help but look up at her up and down; it’s like she had not changed at all, she looked just the same. Her hair had grown a bit more, she noticed she had made some layers which made her look so beautiful. Her glasses had changed, even her clothing had, which was so weird to see her in a pair of jeans and a leather jacket…but she looked beautiful. It made Casey feel a bit ashamed of her appearance, she knew that lately, she has not looked her best and it made her overthink a bit what Alex must be thinking about her, but she pushed back those thoughts. She looked away as she bit her lip, looking at her kitchen.

“Um…would you like to drink something? I have…some wine. Orange juice. Water.”

Alex cleared her throat as she shrugged. “Wine would be fine.”

Casey nodded softly as she went to the kitchen, putting her purse on her couch before she passed Alex, and opened her cabinets to find the wine, suddenly forgetting where she had placed it. Alex placed her purse on the couch just like Casey and followed after but stopped at the kitchen island, not being able to tear her eyes away from Casey. The place felt so familiar, she couldn’t help but smile as she looked around. Not much had changed, one or two things here and there, but still felt like Casey. She looked at Casey again when she placed a glass in front of her, pouring some wine for her. Casey poured herself some and then placed the bottle right beside it. They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them saying a word. Alex had so much to say but she was not sure if it was right for her to start talking or just let Casey do the talking for now, her anxiety slowly increasing as she could tell Casey was now more upset than confused. Or maybe sad? Alex couldn’t quiet tell.

“Wanna sit on the couch? So…we’re a bit more comfortable.”

Alex nodded. “Sure.”

They both headed to the couch with their glasses in hand. As they sat down, Alex took a small sip for courage and then placed the glass on the small table in front of her, Casey mimicking her actions. They once again stared at each other, Alex taking the chance to study Casey’s face again, smiling a bit as her eyes dropped to her neck, noticing the necklace she had given her still on her.

“You still have it.” Alex whispered as her eyes returned to Casey’s.

Casey looked down at the necklace and smiled softly. “I never really take it off.”

“Did they ever ask you about it?” Alex grinned a little.

Casey looked up at Alex and smiled a bit. “Munch and Huang noticed first. Olivia did too at some point. The others were oblivious.”

Alex chuckled slightly. “I figured those two would notice first.”

“You want it back?”

Alex furrowed her brows as she stared at Casey. “What?”

Casey shrugged. “I mean…you’re back. I thought maybe-“

“I told you it’s yours. It was…my promise that I’d come back.”

Casey nodded. “And you did.”

Alex smiled a little. “I did.” Casey bit her lip as she looked down at her hands, Alex couldn’t help but stare at her lips. “I always wanted to run my thumb over your lips so you wouldn’t bite it.” Alex paused as Casey looked back up. “And then kiss you.”

Casey felt her heartbeat raising a bit at the confession, her cheeks going slightly red. “It’s a thing I do. I don’t do it consciously.”

“I know that.” Alex smiled.

Casey looked back down at her hands and furrowed her brows. “Why…why did you stop calling?” She whispered softly.

Alex sighed as she looked away, trying to remember what she had practiced before. “Hammond found out.”

Casey shot her head up. “What?”

Alex nodded. “One of his guys…I didn’t notice he had walked into the house, and I was back in the patio, talking to you. He told Hammond that same day and he came to my house the next.” She shrugged. “We had a bit of a discussion.”

“Did he take away the phone?”

Alex shook her head as she looked back at Casey. “No.”

“Then why didn’t you call? Did you really just listened to him and decided it would be a good idea to not call me and not even let me know that you wouldn’t do it anymore?” Casey’s voice broke slightly as she felt her eyes getting teary. “You just stopped.”

“I couldn’t…I-“ Alex bit her lip softly as she looked down at her hands. “I didn’t want to listen to him. I was not going to. I was just going to agree and move on, but he knew. And he talked to me and…I had to listen.”

“Why?”

“Because I couldn’t put you at risk, Casey.” Alex looked back up at her, a hint of fear in her eyes. “He told me that anyone could trace the calls if there was anyone out there. He didn’t want to tell me to not scare me, but they found someone that was related to Connors. You convicted him, what if he came after you?” She felt her lip trembling as she spoke and her eyes getting teary as she stared at Casey. “I couldn’t let them get to you, Casey. And he didn’t even tell me after days. But he told me I could put you at risk. I didn’t even care about me anymore, but I couldn’t let you get hurt. Not again.” She took a shaky breath. “I could still see you…with bruises. You barely being able to walk. I couldn’t let that happen to you again and me…not being here. Not being able to know if you were okay.”

Casey didn’t notice her tears already rolling down her cheeks, wanting to look away from Alex so badly but not being able to. “Alex.”

“Cragen told me you were okay. You were fully back to work and…you were safe.” Alex shrugged. “I just needed to make sure you were okay.” She whispered softly as she wiped away her tears.

“Alex…I could’ve taken care of myself. I could’ve told Olivia and Elliot, so they could’ve been alert if something happened. Olivia already knew that we were talking.”

Alex furrowed her brows. “What?”

Casey sighed. “She…she heard me once or twice and she didn’t say anything until one day she came to my office and asked me. I knew better than to lie to her, so I admitted it, but she never told anyone.” She shrugged. “I guess Cragen and Liv were good at keeping secrets, huh?” She smiled a bit.

Alex huffed a chuckle and nodded. “I guess so.”

Casey sobbed quietly as she looked down at her hands. “I needed you.” She whispered softly.

Alex tilted her head as she swallowed. “I know, honey. But I-“

“I’m suspended.”

Alex furrowed her brows. “What?”

Casey let out a shaky breath as she looked back at Alex. “Brady violation. I-“ she shook her head. “I tried to do the right thing and…everything ended differently than I expected. Judge was Petrovsky…defense was Donna…” she closed her eyes for a moment as she recalled the moment. “Donelly…said I lost perspective.”

“When did that happen?”

“Over 6 months ago.” Casey shrugged. “I uh…I’m helping Mary Clark with some cases. By that I mean…research, clerical activities. Just simple jobs but you know…I’m not running out of money. Guess she felt too bad for me that I got suspended and I’m back under her wing.” She chuckled sadly.

Alex moved closer to Casey and grabbed her hand, bringing it to her lips. “Casey…I am so sorry. I should’ve been there for you. I was an idiot for vanishing like that.”

“I get it.” Casey looked up at her and smiled sadly. “I now get it.”

“That’s still not an excuse.”

Casey sighed as she placed her hand on Alex’s cheek, wiping away her tears. “I forgive you, Alex.”

Alex let out a shaky breath that she didn’t even know she was holding. “You don’t have to. I mean-“

“But I do.” Casey bit her lip softly as she shook her head. “I cannot lose you again, Alex.” She took a deep breath as her tears rolled down her cheeks. “I was upset. I…I didn’t understand what had happened, I thought I had done something wrong or that…that you just figured out you couldn’t do this anymore.”

Alex shook her head. “No. I wanted to call you every single day. I wanted to come and find you, but they didn’t let me.”

“Now you’re here.” Casey whispered as she smiled.

Alex nodded, turning her head slightly to kiss Casey’s hand on her cheek, her hand going on top of it. “I am. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Casey smiled. “I’d actually kill you if you dare go somewhere.” She chuckled softly.

Alex huffed a chuckle as she smiled. “I can’t. I won’t.” She tilted her head. “I want to keep my promise…and I want us to try this.”

Casey’s face softened. “Try this?”

“Us.” Alex smiled. “I want us to…to get to know each other again. I want us to go on dates. To…you know try this whole relationship thi-“

Casey interrupted Alex as she placed her other hand on Alex’s cheek and pulled her in for a kiss. Alex gasped as she felt Casey’s lips against her but placed her hands on Casey’s neck to keep her in place, kissing her back softly. Alex felt more tears rolling down her cheeks, she felt so overwhelmed about everything that was going on, but this definitely calmed her anxiety down, knowing that Casey really meant it and she really forgave her, and that’s all Alex had been hoping for. Hell, she would’ve accepted a friendship if anything, she just needed Casey in her life -well maybe she wouldn’t have entirely accepted the friendship because of how she felt about Casey, but she would respect the boundaries-. Both women couldn’t help but smile against each other’s lips, breaking the kiss for a slight moment before Alex brought Casey’s lips back to hers, not wanting the kiss to end. They finally separated as they tried catching their breath. Alex smiled softly as she rested her forehead against Casey’s.

“I love you, Casey.”

Casey pulled away enough to look at Alex, a surprised look on her face. “What?”

Alex’s eyes widened as she stared at Casey, swallowing hard as her hands left Casey’s neck. “I- uh. I mean- fuck. Casey. I-“

Casey chuckled softly. “You know that you’re cute even when you’re a bundle of anxiety?” She raised her brow as she grinned playfully.

“What do you expect me to do? I…I told you I loved you and you’re making fun of me and-”

“And I love you too.” Casey smiled as she ran her hand through Alex’s hair.

Alex sighed in relief as she smiled. “You do?”

Casey nodded. “I do.” She smiled. “And, by the way, I do agree on going on dates, maybe updating each other a bit more on each other’s lives but…why waste more time, Alex?”

Alex smiled. “I mean…I did drop the L bomb after basically trying to say that we could take things slow, so. I broke my own rule.” She shrugged as Casey laughed.

“You’re cute.” Casey smiled as she pecked her lips softly. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Alex smiled as she placed her hands on Casey’s back but then pulled them back quickly.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Alex…it’s been over 3 years. My ribs are perfectly fine. You don’t have to be careful anymore.”

“I’d still be careful. I still don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” Casey smirked softly as she placed her hand on Alex’s chest and pushed her slightly, so her back was resting against the couch. She then moved to straddle her waist, wrapping her arms around Alex’s neck. “And what if I don’t want you to be careful?”

Alex gulped as she looked up at Casey. “Well, that changes things.” She grinned as she placed her hands on Casey’s waist.

“It does.” Casey smiled before she leaned down for another kiss, but this time with more passion.

********************

“Anyone know who’s out temporary ADA?” Fin asked as he looked at Elliot.

“How about one back from the dead?”

They both turned to look at Casey who was already smiling and taking her coat off. “Casey Novak. You’re back.”

Casey shrugged. “Alive and fairly well.” She sighed as she smiled. “Alex and I are gonna share some cases, but…I am.”

Olivia smiled softly as she walked to Casey and hugged her tightly. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

Casey smiled softly as she pulled away from the hug and looked at Olivia. “I’m happy I am.”

“Well, we have our two favorite back.” Much said as he patted her shoulder.

Casey nodded. “Thank you for the warm welcome. But, I think we have a case to work on?”

“Just got here and you already want to start working? Eager much, Novak?”

Casey smirked as she turned to look at Alex. “I don’t think you have ever minded that, Cabot.”

Alex grinned as she kissed her cheek softly. “That’s a secret.” She whispered in Casey’s ear and then chuckled as she looked at the rest of the squad. “I need to steal her for a bit but promise I’ll bring her back.” She grabbed Casey’s hand and pulled her to the elevator. Once the doors closed, she pinned Casey against the wall and smirked. “First day back and you already want to tease me in front of everyone?”

Casey shrugged. “Is that wrong?” She smirked as she pulled Alex close to her by the collar of her coat.

Alex shook her head as she chuckled. “We’ll see how you like my teasing later.” She whispered against her lips as she kissed her, but once she heard the doors opening, she pulled away and winked at Casey.

“Do you think Liz would like to hear that we’re gonna be working together?” Casey grinned as they walked out of the elevator hand in hand.

“I think she’d like if we let her know we’re together in my office before she walks in on us again.” Alex laughed, pulling Casey close to her and Casey laughing with her as they walked out the precinct. 

[morningberriesao3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tysm to @runninriot for the tag. tbh i often don’t do these things ‘cause I never have anyone else to tag to keep the chain going, but this one is too fun not to 💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

currently—13. 10 are completed, 2 are old wips, 1 is my current wip. baker’s dozen.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

431, 629 and counting 😳

3. What fandoms do you write for?

stranger things, exclusively. no other fandom inspires me the same way.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Many Ways, Many Days, to Say ‘I Love You’

Dirty Words

Done Deal

Sneaky Link

Sweet Surrender

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES. omg i will always respond to a comment because they make me wildly happy. although sometimes (currently), i feel too overwhelmed to reply right away and i end up with an overflowing inbox. right now i have 200 unanswered comments that i WILL reply to 😂

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

as far as finished fics, Hate the Way It Feels So Good has, i guess, the most unsatisfying ending. generally i always write HEA. although i have a wip that was never supposed to end happily: Wicked, to Let Me Dream of You.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i’d say Sweet Surrender is the happiest considering all the angst you have to read to get there 😂 but like i said, most have a happy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics?

generally, no. but i have gotten more hate than anyone i’ve talked to about it! (certain word choices ‘ruining’ an entire fic for someone, grammar corrections, people telling me i’m a liar when i didn’t upload fast enough… all mostly surface stuff that hasn’t been too bad yet 😩)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

the real question is: have i ever not written smut? and the answer to that is no. what kind? every kind. tame, not-so-tame, porn with plot, porn with feelings, gross stuff, cute stuff, you name it 😉

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not really. the closest i’ve been to writing a crossover is How I’d Kill, in which the first few chaps are pretty inspired by ACOTAR.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not copy and pasted, as far as i know. there have been a few instances where i’ve noticed bigger accounts posting eerily similar plot lines to some of the stuff i’ve written, but i’m 100% sure it’s just coincidence. we have to remember nothing is outright original when it comes to plot. as long as you’re not intentionally plagiarizing someone’s work, similarities are bound to happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no!! i’ve never had a translation, a pod fic, or artwork done for any of my fics! i’m just out here in my own little bubble lmao

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i haven’t! although i’ve definitely talked about it with @the-unforgivenn!! i get nervous because i’m such a procrastinator when it comes to getting my own fics done—i don’t want to drag someone else down 😂

14. What’s you’re all time favourite ship?

take a wild guess.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i honestly hope/plan to finish ALL of my posted wips, even though a couple are on pause. there’s a few saved on my laptop that I’m sure will never see the light of day hahaha

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m blind to my own writing so it’s hard to say. i’d like to think just general improvement as i’ve written more/read more. a lot of repeat readers have complimented me on how i write angst so maybe that?!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i could write an essay on this. first—no matter how many times i read through my fics—there’s some autocorrect that i missed or a spelling error or just SOMETHING 😂 not to mention the procrastinating. always getting major writer’s block. and generally being very hard on myself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i MIGHT be able to get away with a few french phrases here and there, being half french, but in general i only know english well enough to write. reading? LOVE it. make all the characters multilingual—i’ll have google translate ready.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

stranger things 🥹 and most likely will be the only fandom i ever write for. (unless you count the RPF i wrote and will NEVER publish about joseph quinn 💀)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

i personally think my best written fic is How I’d Kill, but Sweet Surrender will always be my favourite just by default—there was no better feeling as a first time writer reading the lovely comments that i got on that fic. i’ll never forget it 🥹

no pressure tags:

@numinosmoon @cuips-not-cute @bettyfrommars @the-unforgivenn @rip-quizilla @etherealmontilyet @wroteclassicaly @wynnyfryd

sorry if you’ve already been tagged or just plain old don’t want to do it 💕

[frecklystars]

hi keri!!

I have some really good news! I saw you and ken on a date (in my dream but eh, close enough sjshs)

it was a live theater date (they're doing mamma mia in my city shsh) and from where I was sitting I could see you and ken holding hands!! (don't ask how I knew it was you guys, I just did)

you seemed stressed or nervous about somthing but ken just gave your hand a little squeeze and caress like "keri, my sweet girl" then he gave your knuckles a kiss "apple of my eye" another smooch "owner of my heart" final smooch "everything is going to be fine"

I was watching this like 👀😮💘

side note: I hope this silly little dream I had can you bring you even a fraction of joy that it brought me. I know things are tough for you right now but I'm hoping things get better! I'm so annoyed that people have been copying "my sweet girl"!!

I will admit, ever since I sent the ask about how much I adore the nickname, I have been inspired to step up my game while selfshipping😌 which basically means I come up with sickly sweet nicknames bc "it's what keri and ken would've done🙇🏽‍♀️"

so yeah, sorry for the wall of text, I hope the rest of your day/night goes well!! positivity blast!!! 💖💗💘💓💝💕🌸🌺🌷🐶

-🍀

LUCKY CLOVER ANON SWEETHEART I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU YESTERDAY!!!!! :D I hope you're doing well!!! NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR WALLS OF TEXT I shall always welcome every single beautiful beloved word you bring into my inbox <33!!!!!!!

YOU HAD A DREAM??? ABOUT KEN WITH ME???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 WUWHUHWUWHWUHWHUUHW WOWWWWWW WOW WOW!!!!!!!! I am so!!!! honored!!!!! 😭😭💝💝💗💘💓💞💞💞 Thank you so much for telling me!!!!!!!!! What a treat!!!! What a dream!!!!!

That makes me feel SO much better ;-; thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to send me an ask!!! OOGHOGH AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SYMPATHIES OMG it has been eating me uppp how far away I've felt from Ken lately, feeling very unlovable and replaceable and the "sweet girl" ordeal was like the cherry on top. ofc it's not like I invented the pet name "sweet girl" or anything like that, and of COURSE it's fine if other self shippers want Ken to call them that, BUT I JUST DON'T WANNA BE TOLD ABOUT IT ESP ON MY OWN POSTS AND IN MY OWN INBOX?? SLFJSDFL??? especially when they're like "i took that from your comic btw :)" like WOHOAOOH!!!! WHOAH??? [spongebob voice] BACK IT UP. BACK IT UP. BACK IT UP 🚚 !!!!! I understand these ppl are saying it nicely and I am flattered they loved my comic/pet name idea THAT much but it... stings so bad omfg it HURTS, BRO........... the pet name is so personal to me/my story with Ken and it feels weird for me to now write/draw him saying it to me and no longer thinking he's talking To Me anymore :( BUT!!! i hope i can fix that by spending more time with him (watching Barbie, watching interviews, making gifsets, making art/fics) plus when I go out of town in a couple of weeks I'll stay completely offline for 10 days straight bc I won't be able to watch him sing I'm Just Ken at the Oscars (no cable where I'm going WAH) and I don't want spoilers. and. tbh maybe spending time offline from this hellsite will help Fix Me 🔨✨

I am so. WOWOWO i've read this 5 times in a row AND THE FACT THAT YOURE SUBCONSCIOUS CONJURED HIM BEING SO SWEET??? TO ME??? OF ALL PEOPLE??? Kissing my hand wtf that's one of my favorite Kisses... I think being kissed on the hand is one of the most loving and tender sweet things in the world... hand kisses + neck kisses are my absolute favorite and wowoowowoowwwhuhwuwhuhwhu LAYING ON THE FLOOR IN A POOL OF MY OWN TEARS THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!! and the fact that we'd go to a live theater date!!!! BRO!!!! BRO THAT'S SO ROMANTIC I LOOOOVE LIVE THEATER 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙💙

LUCKY ANON!!!! I AM SOOOOOOOOO!!!! SO SO SO HAPPY YOU'RE STEPPING UP UR GAME SELF SHIPPING!!! "because it's what Keri and Ken would've done" made me SQUEAL swinging my legs in my chair and drumming my desk!!!! I was all excited and needed to let my energy out SLDKFJSLKDFHSDF THIS IS SOOO SWEET!!!!!! Coming up with special nicknames make self ships feel so... idk the word, it makes it feel so much more wholehearted and tender and soft!!! like it's a special connection JUST for the two of YOU!!!! Any time I have a main F/O I try to make them call me something that isn't just the generic "baby/darling/sweetheart" (though I DO use those pet names QUITE often on many, if not all, of my ships) but there is just something about having them call you something pertaining to the ship itself, your story with them, something you know they wouldn't call anybody else But You!!! whether it's them calling you your favorite flower, or something they find synonymous with you like a dessert or a star, or even your own name but rhymed with something else, something silly, or something inspired by a lyric of Your Song that the two of you share, it's just!! it's SO SPECIAL I absolutely adore doing it, it makes the ship feel quite exceptional imo!!

I AM GIVING YOU THE BIGGEST HUGS IN THE WORLD AND ALSO DONUTS!!!!!!! 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩💕💕💓💓💗💖💗💗💓💓💞💕💟💟💝💘💞💞💓💓💞💕💕💕💕💕 I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEETNESS!!!!!!!!! I hope you have the BEST DAY EVER 🥰🥰🥰🥰☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️!!!!!!!!!!

[writingquestionsanswered]

How do you write a character that is very talkative, not just when they are nervous but all the time?

Portraying an Extremely Talkative Character

You can use a relatively even combination of dialogue, action, and exposition to illustrate a character's talkative personality. That way, you're not overusing any one method.

Illustrating a talkative character in dialogue can be done by: giving the character a few more lines in any conversation than the character/s they're talking to. Giving them longer dialogue (3 or 4 sentences per line of dialogue as opposed to 1 or 2 for the other characters most of the time), having them be a little wordier than they need to be, and having them occasionally interrupt other characters and/or finish their sentences.

Illustrating a talkative character in action can be done by showing the character being talkative in the background, so-to-speak. For example: I walked into the meeting room and joined the group around the conference table. I scanned the room for Clary, and chuckled to myself as she rattled off engineering facts to a trio of executives she'd pinned in a corner. Their eyes were glazed over, but to their credit, they let her go on and on.

Illustrating a talkative character in exposition can be done by having the narrator tell the reader things that illustrate the character as talkative. For example: Everyone at the box factory loved Clary, but she had "the gift of the gab," as Mary the receptionist often said. There was an unspoken rule in the office that you never walked by Clary's desk when you were in a hurry, because if she intercepted you, it could be twenty or thirty minutes before you found an in to politely break free.

The synonyms you use for "talkative" should depend on how you want to characterize the person. If this is someone who is generally nice, innocent, and someone people would want to be kind to, go for more neutral synonyms like: chatty, gabby, gossipy, wordy, babbling, loquacious, and effusive. But if this is someone who is loud, opinionated, boastful, and simply loves to hear themselves speak, you can go for harsher synonyms like long-winded, bigmouth, windbag, blowhard, blabbermouth, flap jaw, garrulous, running their mouth, etc. (And you can tweak according to what's being talked about, too. Cross-reference thesaurus suggestions with a dictionary to make sure you get the right word for the character/situation.)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[satbiym]

People talk about how important it is to comment, and as a writer, I agree. But I also wanna point out that commenting isn't a one-way avenue for gratification. I cannot begin to list out how many times I have opened my inbox and seen "Reply to your comment on..." and had my heart jump in surprised delight because the author (or sometimes!!! Extra-delightfully, another reader!!!!!!) decided to reply to my comment. Even a simple and sweet "thanks! ur comment made my day" from the author leaves me flying high for a bit because look!!! They gave me joy with their writing and I was able to pay it forward and share some of my grateful happiness back with them!!

And ofc i think all authors have the valid option to not reply to comments for whatever reason, and i don't begrudge any of the authors who have never replied to my comments, as long as they have felt my grateful appreciation for them and their work that helped me feel alive, even just for a moment, in this gosh darn bitch of a world.

And it's so cool because it makes me feel so engaged and like I'm in some way contributing to the community I identify with and spend a significant part of my days in. Leaving comments and occasionally getting those reply to your comment ao3 emails helps me disconnect my need to be constantly "productive" in fandom - as if THAT is the price of admission into fandom community, fuck capitalism honestly - with my actual engagement in fandom.

Leaving comments for me is moving to a new apartment in a city you have never lived in for your first job and being so nervous about your welcome that you are choking on it, wanting to do something to make things better and to feel like you could belong here, are wanted here. So you do your best to smile at your neighbors and open the door for that person going out with too many bags and not even hands to hold them in, and you make small talk with the doorman, hoping against hope that if you do this enough, that this new place (metaphorical and physical) that you've wandered your way into isn't actively resenting your presence.

Leaving comments to me is being grateful for getting that job, that apartment you now live in. It's doing your best to give back the goodwill from the universe you have received and pay it forward by being good and kind and nodding when you catch the same person's gaze two days in a row at your building's lobby. It's a no expectation act of humanity and placemaking.

But, getting a reply notification to my comment is like trudging up to the lift, shoulders weary from all the energy you had to use up today to try and carve out a space for yourself, and walking up to your apartment door only to see on top of the bare space in front of ur doorstep where a welcome mat would normally be - something you haven't gotten around to buying yet - a blue tupperware box with a post it note welcoming you to the building, courtesy of a neighbor whose name and flat number you don't recognize.

And suddenly you have more energy than you had a minute ago. For, it's good to start off with learning how to carry your home on your back wherever you go and to practice making a shelter for urself when it's raining outside

But it's even better when someone smiles at you in welcome, saying you can put your tools down now, come in from the rain and sit down and have some tea I've been keeping warm for you.

And you think, Oh I didn't need to earn that cup? Oh, you remembered and followed up about something I said in the last comment? Oh. Maybe I really should go and buy that welcome mat after all.

[masterbuilderintern]

Wait I just looked through your blog and you appear to be someone who knows what they're doing

If I just dumped a bunch of info that you're already aware of bc you are on top of things generally im sorry

I saw the whole thing and knew bits and bobs, I don't really keep up on the personal lives of other people I don't know so anything I do know is stuff I see in passing or in their content

Most stuff I know of QSMP members is purely what they mention in QSMP themselves, for example

It's totally okay you sent that ask btw! It's a really long post so I'll just keep it in the inbox but do know I did see it and I do not mind it at all

I, in fact, only sort of know what I'm doing, I live in a little bubble and learn things mostly through other people if I'm not actively engaging in it

The most I know from DSMP is actually infodumps from my younger brother, who was mostly a Technoblade fan, and he showed me those really popular animations about the whole L'manburg arc thing

SAD-ist is really talented! I like the original work they've been doing lately

I heard DSMP ended pretty bad though so that sucks, (A nuclear bomb went off or something????) but recently I just had to end my own server from the stress of running it so I guess sometimes it just doesn't work out, idk anything about Dream himself except the stuff I hear here and there and it doesn't seem all that pretty so I'm just gonna sit in a corner away from that whole thing

I used to be very nervous about touching MCYT stuff because of that fandom specifically, I even got really defensive when I heard Jackmanifold was going to watch Marble Hornets, but after warming up to people like Ranboo and Slimecicle it ain't as bad as I thought

Like any fandom out there it's just certain people that make it scary

I never did watch any Jackmanifold content though even after all that lol I just never got around to it

I did learn about people like FitMC though, who I have mad respect for because I value historical preservation of any kind and him being a historian for something that'd be so incredibly difficult to make a record of is really cool

I've even thought about looking into Hermitcraft, since I've had someone I know personally recommend it to me as well

I will say, knowing about Ranboo being so young and blowing up so quickly, it does worry me about how that'll affect them? I have this natural concern for people younger than me, being the eldest of seven, so seeing all the attention they're getting is like

Absolutely amazing work! Be proud! But oh my god be careful, especially when they choose to wear a mask

People are SO invasive and entitled when it comes to online personalities, they treat them like dolls

Otherwise, it's really neat to see such a young queer creator get this sort of attention, I really like their work and look forward to where they take future generations for Genloss, like Chronicle 0

SIDE NOTE: MY FIRE ALARM WENT OFF RIGHT AS I WAS ABOUT TO POST THIS???? JUMPSCARE

[cloudiilink]

I posted 1,446 times in 2022

That's 260 more posts than 2021!

829 posts created (57%)

617 posts reblogged (43%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cloudiilink

@twink-between-worlds

@luwyv

@author-main

@secretlysheikah

I tagged 1,060 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#link rambles - 602 posts

#link answers - 130 posts

#link isn't vibing - 85 posts

#srb - 67 posts

#fanart - 43 posts

#link doodles - 39 posts

#link plays - 29 posts

#digital art - 26 posts

#ravio my beloved - 23 posts

#anya my beloved - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#luwvy in my inbox?? hi- i still cant believe we're mutuals- hi- im too nervous to actually send you asks and stuff but you seem really cool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Birds and Fairies

@oshiesauce

I was your secret santa for the LU secret santa event! I hope you like it! The main gist is Sky wants to hold little birds n Time gets surrounded by fairies-

(The fic is under the cut so this isn't an ungodly long post)

Sky loved Wild's Hyrule.

The walking? The despised.

The weather? He also despised it. The unpredictable rain was what he despised- he was never used to it raining.

The view? He loved it. The mountains in the distance. The noticeable changes in terrain and weather in the distance. It was beautiful.

However, the one thing he adored the most were birds.

Sky could spend hours just looking at all the birds. All the little ones. All the Pigeons. All the herons. Even the cuccos. His favourite though, were the little ones he was told were called sparrows- blue sparrows specifically. It had been a while since he had seen blue little birds, but it was even longer since the last time he saw Sun's loftwing.

Oh, how he hated the massive blue birds morning wake ups but he missed Sun being there to apologise about it.

The first time they had spotted them was on the way to Kakariko Village. The path was long. And boring. Until Sky saw the sparrows.

He stopped the chain and kneeled down a couple of metres from the birds.

Oh they were so tiny.

So tiny and cute.

Sky had the whole chain stop multiple times so he could spend five minutes staring in awe at the birds.

He had tried to reach out a few times to try to pick them up. They were so small. He could fit one of the sparrows in one hand, easily.

The first dozen or so attempts absolutely failed. He was absolutely devastated about it too, needing a couple moments to recover.

Then, the little sparrows figured out the Hero meant no harm.

They didn't let him pick them up at first though when they figured out he meant no harm. Why would they? They didn't know whether the intentions of the Hero were pure. The little birds could hope, but hoping didn't save them. Trusting their instincts did.

Sky didn't mind that he couldn't pick the little sparrows up though.

The chain, however, did. They found it adorable at first, after all, what could be cuter than the resident sleepyhead kneeling near the birds and near enough in tears over them? Probably nothing. They got fed up with having to stop every couple of metres for Sky to admire the little sparrows.

It took them nearly an hour to get through half of the canyon path.

If they didn't keep stopping for Sky to admire the sparrows, they could've been minutes away from Kakariko by now. Or even in the soft beds of the inn.

Oh how most of them would've killed to be in a soft bed by now.

Most of them definitely blamed Sky for this, despite understanding why he reacted like this. After all, wouldn't you fawn over how small the birds are from seeing only Loftwings and the small birds of the surface?

They understood. They almost wanted to leave Sky behind, after all, Wild had told them it was a straight path to Kakariko when they got into the Canyon.

They couldn't leave Sky behind. It wouldn't be right, especially with how it was starting to get dark.

Wild warned them that despite the stalkoblins being easy to defeat, Sky had no experience fighting his stal monsters. They couldn't leave him alone, but they couldn't split up as they needed Wild to show them where the inn was.

Sky and his adoration for little birds was frustrating.

See the full post

76 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

#4

Just a sketch dump because I need to post art lmao

Have Time, one I started doodling him in Malons dress, the other was just a de-stress doodle of him fishing the fishing game in oot is kinda relaxing but annoying

Have doodles of Four in the minish clothing because it's cute. You can't tell me he didn't try it on as a kid/ owns at least one outfit maybe he asked it to be tailor made or asked Legend to make it if we follow headcannons

See the full post

86 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

#3

can you draw Malon? :D I bet she’d look so pretty in your art style/gen <3

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer- but here she is 💞

I haven't actually sketched in a hot minute but Malon beloved

96 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#2

Can you draw your butchered Sky? He’s rlly pretty!!

Ty for requesting butchered sky 💞💞💞 I've been meaning to draw him actually but i didn't know how so... Panel redraw?

Btw I'm sorry it's taken me a few days, life sucks

Idk I'm bad with side profiles/action poses

Here's the panel:

See the full post

111 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just a doodle of Four to try get used to the tablet(...again).

I do not like the tablet but I need to try use it because my laptop is... Unreliable lol

*holds four gently* lmao

I started it a while ago but only just finished it lol- don't even know where this was going when I started originally

117 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[spinningintheshadows]

I posted 3,773 times in 2022

That's 1,465 more posts than 2021!

1,810 posts created (48%)

1,963 posts reblogged (52%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@teelagurl558

@rosetintednorth

@rudystree

I tagged 1,368 of my posts in 2022

#vixla - 152 posts

#i wish i was beside queue - 124 posts

#outer banks - 107 posts

#rudy pankow - 103 posts

#obx - 100 posts

#austin north - 81 posts

#shut up vix - 72 posts

#drew starkey - 71 posts

#jj maybank - 70 posts

#vix’s inbox of wonders 🔮 - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#they tried to teach us in sixth grade but i couldn’t get it but i taught myself over the summer between sixth and seventh writing fanfic

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

wanna do it anyway? || rafe cameron

After breaking up with her boyfriend, the photographer that Piper had arranged and paid for a boudoir shoot asks if she wants to do it anyway.

fanon photographer!rafe x plus size!oc, *SMUT; oral (f&m recieving), fingering, semi protected sex (oc is on bc)*

Rafe bit his lip as he looked at his schedule for the day. He was up early, seven o’clock, drinking his coffee as he glanced at the schedule book. He had two appointments booked today, the McJones family photos at 10:00, and then scribbled messily underneath it at 1:00 was Piper Harris - Boudoir. That was the one he was most concerned about. Not that he’d never done boudoir shoots before, but because it was Piper, his high school crush.

Piper Harris also didn’t fit the norm of his normal boudoir shoots, where the girls had been stick thin, almost to where you could see their bones sticking out of their bodies. Piper Harris had always been on the heavier side, and if bothered her, he’d only ever seen it once. It was the day they became friends, when he practically beat the shit out of Kelce for calling her fat in math class. Yeah, he’d gotten suspended and grounded for two weeks but it was worth it.

Truth be told, Rafe didn’t know why he was nervous, but the uneasy feeling hadn’t left his stomach since she approached him outside of the Wreck two weeks ago.

“Rafe Cameron! The man I’ve been looking for.” A voice said, making him turn around and meet eyes with her, Piper.

“Hey, Pip, didn’t know you were still around the outer banks.” He said with a smile.

“Could say the same about you, Rafe. Hey I have a question” she suddenly sounded nervous. He raised an eyebrow at her as he pulled the camera out of its bag in preparation of his next shoot. “Have you ever done a boudoir shoot?” He let out a breathy laugh, looking at her again.

“Yeah.” He told her. “Several, why?”

“Well, uh, me and Travis will be together four years next month and I was kind of thinking about doing one for him.” She said. He fought the urge to roll his eyes at the name of her mediocre boyfriend. “And I was wondering if you’d be willing to do it? I’ll pay you of course, whatever you charge.”

“You want me to….do a boudoir shoot…of you?” He asked. “Okay. Uh, your number still the same? If so I’ll look over my schedule when I get home and text you with a time and price.”

“Okay. Thank you so much, Rafe!” She said.

“Hey wait, before you go.” He told her. “Stand there, the sunset looks really nice behind you.” He snapped a couple photos, thanking her.

When he’d gotten back to his apartment that night he’d edited the photos and sent them to her, telling her to do with them what she wanted. Plus a time, date and price for their shoot. His phone buzzing brought him out of his thoughts. Glancing down at the text, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion

Is it too late to cancel?

See the full post

224 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#4

Drew Starkey Smutty Headcannons because I Can

(Thanks for the gif @maybankforlife but you’re grounded and not allowed to read these. But here you go @wannabestarkeysgirl @jjmaybankspermbank @teelagurl558)

Just like his Alaskan friend, I know this man is packing. He’s tall as fuck so I just know this man is big big

Once again, Jesus boys are kinky as fuck and we all know Drew come from a Jesus family so I know he kinky as fuck.

This man has a daddy kink. He loves hearing his little princess fucked stupid on his clock and begging Daddy to let her cum

Also, breeding kink to the fucking max. He loved hearing you beg him to fill you up with his cum. Bonus points if you call him Daddy when you do it.

He will never admit it, but this motherfucker loved bondage. He loves being tied up and tying you up.

A huge ass switch. When he’s in the mood he can be the mean dom but he lowkey loves being subby for you. He takes it all like a good boy, even when you have him tied up and blindfolded on the bed, overstimulated and covered in his own cum.

Lowkey gives off exhibitionist vibes but he’s highkey too big of a chicken shit yo try it out.

Homie has a praise kink. Like, yes bestie, tell him how great he is at eating your pussy. Tell him how great his cock is making you feel. Homie gets off on that shit

Speaking of eating pussy, you asked him one time what that mouth do and he showed you exactly what it could do (make you cum in just a matter of a few minutes)

He’s all about adoration. He wants to make damn sure he's showing you exactly how much he loves you. He’s not fucking to fuck, he’s fucking to adore you.

He loves when you want to just sit on his cock. It’s super intimate to him, he could sit on the couch watching movies or lay in bed cuddling with you on his cock for hours and be perfectly content

Motherfucking aftercare king. You could be laying in bed after he’s absolutely destroyed you, completely blissed the fuck out and this adorable fucker is getting up to run you a bubble bath and get you water so you’re comfortable, clean and ready to cuddle

246 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#3

See the full post

326 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#2

Anyway, Stan Rudy Pankow

495 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,252 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[everswift]

I posted 1,766 times in 2022

That's 667 more posts than 2021!

350 posts created (20%)

1,416 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hundredthchances

@sweetsnothing

@auraismoonstone

@heystephen

@playsoursong

I tagged 1,464 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#taylor swift - 669 posts

#queue - 231 posts

#ask - 86 posts

#anonymous - 84 posts

#yumi lives in delusion - 78 posts

#portuguese tag - 40 posts

#does she mouth fu queue forever - 29 posts

#the eras tour - 18 posts

#ticketmaster - 15 posts

#not taylor - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#my favorite doctor was incredible from the first appt. he was like “i don’t care if you go to another doctor. i’ll just ask you to text me +

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

can't talk right now i'm busy thinking about taylor swift changing her costume halfway through a performance in the AMAs

152 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#4

✨ me and karma vibe like that ✨

230 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

#3

ppl who have only been in the fandom for an era shocked that taylor swift is known for reinventing herself every single time she releases a new album… i'm so sorry for you…

262 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#2

the year is 2015. your dash is someone self-reblogging a selfie 20 times because they thought taylor was online. your inbox is 10 people who don't follow you guilt-tripping you into reblogging their open letter to taylor. locals don't realize the lyrics to blank space are satire. taylor swift likes an edit you made and you die instantly

844 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sometimes i think about how after her first record came out taylor swift would open for big country musicians and stay till the middle of the night in the venues to say hi and give autographs to anyone who wanted to meet her. sometimes i think about taylor swift on her first headlining tour looking out for kids in her merch, literally stopping her car to greet them. sometimes i think about how a kid met her at a grocery store but had no camera so taylor took a picture of them herself and then mailed it to her. sometimes i think about how she never held a paid meet and greet in her entire career. sometimes i think about how in the macy's meet and greet when wonderstruck came out a little kid got too nervous to go up to her in the little stage that was set up for taking pictures so taylor came down to say hi. sometimes i think about taylor swift being understandably uncomfortable about people waiting outside her home to meet her but being kind and taking pictures when there's small children because they're not responsible for their parents' invasion of privacy. sometimes i think about taylor swift telling “shut up” and standing up to her security team to say hello to fans

1,062 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →