#i have not done much of anything in a year. and i think it's bc my coping mechanisms were 1. self-medicate but ESPECIALLY do that while

[mywritersmind]

AVOIDANCE - LN4

summary : Lando can’t help but keep his on you. You’re beautiful, talented, sharp as nails… just enough to wreck him. That doesn’t change the fact that he wants you. In fact, it only motivates him more.

listen up : daniel riccardo cadillac teammate!! 21st team. if you didn’t know, i have a driver x lando fic up on wattpad! i kinda wanna re write it bc i miss it so much and think it could be sm better! anyway i hope you like this!!

words : 6850

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Tate Mcrae’s ‘Just Keep Watching’ blasted through the speakers just as the podium trophies were awarded to the top three. 

Miami was hot and grueling for all the drivers, but specifically the finishers of P2 and P3.

Carlos and Alex stood below, watching their co workers get awarded, soon joined the newest addition to this season. “So what’s the deal with Lando and-”

He didn’t even need to finish, the two men already knew the name that would ghost his lips. “He’s in love with her, what else?” Alex said, crossing his arms to watch Lando pop his champagne. 

The crowd screams made Carlos correct Alex even louder, “He’s got a crush on her!” They watched as Oscar sprayed Lando’s back, Lando trying to retaliate but failing due to the amount of champagne in his eyes. 

“Always has!” Alex added, a flash of a silver race suit catches the crowds attention, the suit less important than who’s wearing it- someone that’s becoming more familiar to the top steps these days. “It’s been going on for years…”

Franco frowned, bringing his water bottle to his lips just as she faked Lando out with her bottle of champagne just to drink it, looking him dead in the eye while doing it. “She doesn’t know?” 

Carlos and Alex stared at Franco, poor, innocent, fresh blood, Franco… He had no clue how far their story went, no idea what has gone down. Alex and Carlos both sigh, knowing far too much about their twisted little dynamic, “Oh she knows…” Alex mumbled. 

“He doesn’t care that she knows and hasn’t done anything?” Franco looked so shocked at this that it almost made Carlos laugh. 

“Oh no… I think it turns him on even more.”

⋆༺

I hate fish

I hate gin

I hate paper cuts 

I hate losing 

I hate Lando Norris. 

And yet, the smile that tugs at his lips while he watches me pour the winning liquid down my throat, makes me think- only for a second, how could I ever hate him? 

Him and his stupid freckles. Him and his bloody need to make space for himself in my life. 

I stopped hating Lando a while ago. It lingers in my thoughts sometimes, but I'm pretty sure it’s a reflection of how I feel about myself. 

“Don’t give me that look, sev.” We’re still standing on the podium, the shaken champagne dropping low in Oscars hands. “Come out with us tonight.”

“P3 isn’t a celebration for me.” I say flatly, ignoring the nickname he’s pinned on me since getting one glance at the number 7 in our karting days. 

“Doesn’t mean you can’t still party.” The way his lips curve makes my heart race faster, something I'll tell myself is just the adrenaline from the race. 

“You’re coming to the party?” Oscar says brightly, shining in bubbly as he wipes his eyes. 

I nod, keeping it short and standing on the top step with the boys with me, smiling for the cameras, wondering how different it will be when I actually stand up here alone. 

“Oh so you’ll come with Osc but not me?” Lando holds his trophy, waving to the crowd distractingly. 

“Of course I will, I like him more than you.” I’m not lying, not really. I don’t miss the way Lando’s jaw tenses, only a split second that could be missed by a blink before he goes back to smiling and slapping Oscar on the back. 

⋆༺

I do go with Oscar, sitting in the back of the car while my pregame shot sets in and Oscar rattles away on the phone with Lily. 

The club is just what I expected, maybe just what I needed. Alex sees me first, making me genuinely smile while dragging me over to the others. He’s awfully happy for the circumstances of his race. 

Daniel is doing shots with Max, probably celebrating his return to F1 for the millionth time. Isack, Pierre, and Ollie pull me into their conversation immediately after congratulating me. The two frenchmen are explaining football rivalries to Ollie, who sips his drink and gives me confused looks once and a while. 

It’s just about the time when I'm drowning out the boys and wondering why I'm not drinking yet, when I see him. Lando walks across the floor with Franco by his side, he’s in all black, his curls grown out and a drink in each hand. 

Franco leans in to Lando after they both notice me. While Franco talks, Lando’s eyes are on me. On my legs, on my heels, on my scrap of a top. They’re still on me when Franco stops talking. His reaction is a mix of laughter and uncertainty, his eyes darting away from me in the middle of his response. That’s how I know it’s about me. 

“Fran, I’d rather you talk about me to my face.” Franco laughs at this, pulling me into a side hug as I mess up his hair. 

“Start drinking before he keeps talking, it helps.” Lando hands me one of the drinks in his hands. It’s a martini. I pause before I take it and as if he reads my mind, he says, “Vodka, not gin.”

Everyone around us starts yelling and clapping at the exact same time. Making me pull my eyes from Lando and to Oscar, who smiles shyly at the welcome. 

“Our race winner!” Lando holds up his glass, he’s so chill, an easy smile on his lips even though we all know people could have been saying that to him. 

I love being with the rest of the grid, even if my intention last year was to have no friends, only enemies. My words clearly hasn’t panned out well because each of them has weaseled their way into my heart, new and old. 

The only thing I dislike about being out with them is that women flock to us. I mean, the girls are pretty and usually nice, but it also means that my friends are pulled away by mini skirts and bras. 

Don’t get me wrong, guys find me as well. It’s just that the ones that do happen to have a lot of confidence, walking into a crowd of fit F1 men who would likely fight for my honor… they happen to fall in the category that I call: False drunken confidence and eyes for my tits only. 

So I stay away from the thirsty guys and stick with the ones who are alone due to the lack of their girlfriend not being here. Lando is always with us even though, to my knowledge, Lando is very single. 

I’ve seen him flirt with girls, letting them slip their hands to his hair and kissing his neck cheekily. I’ve seen him wave goodbye with a pretty blonde on his arm, but never, in my two years in formula one, have I ever gone out and had Lando not talk to me. 

“That girl is staring you down like you’re edible.” Pierre sips his drink, nodding to the blonde girl who is doing just what he said. 

Lando looks at her, not flirty or teasing, just blinks before looking back at Pierre, “She looks about nineteen.”

“She’s twenty one.” Franco says, making us all look at him, “What? I talked to her.” I raise my brow at him just as the others mumble words of disbelief, “Okay- I made out with her.” He rolls his eyes. 

“Great. I don’t want your sloppy seconds, sounds paddock bunny like.” Lando shakes his head, leaning back into the couch and slipping his arm around the back of it- around the back of where I'm sitting. 

His jacket is over my legs, Lando saw the length of my skirt and my frown when everyone else sat and so easily handed it to me without another word. 

Franco starts fidgeting in his seat, “I need to dance, who’s with me?” None of the guys move. He turns to me, smiling ear to ear and holding out a hand, “My queen.” 

I almost say no simply because I hate the nickname the grid has dubbed me. I’m the only woman on the grid, something a bit awkward to navigate sometimes, but also something that the other drivers acknowledge but never really talk about. 

“I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you dance with Lando instead.” Ollie says suddenly, making my eyes narrow and Lando drag his hand over his face. 

“I’d give a hundred bucks to not do that.” I stand, throwing Lando’s jacket beside him and making him peak up at me. I don’t mean to sound so mean, but I don’t really know how else to respond to that. 

Not when I know he wants me to say yes, not for money or jokes, either. 

“Why will you dance with Franco and not Lando? Either is ending up posted somewhere tomorrow.” Carlos just has to remind me of the existence of phones and social media. 

I take Franco’s hand, “Franco likes older women.” He grins at this. 

“You are older than him!” Lando laughs, his eyes meeting mine and shining green in the strobe lights. 

I can’t help but smirk, shrugging and tugging the younger man away, “C’mon, Fran.” 

⋆༺

My free week is spent with training, getting coffee with Alex’s girlfriend, and trying to calm my mind by reading. 

I’m back in the air too soon, flying with Max and Daniel who surprise me with a special guest… Lando. Flying with my teammate and basically his husband means that Lando and I are third and fourth wheeling. 

I’m curled up in my seat, headphones on and book in hand while the boys play some card game. “Sev!” I hear Lando scream, making me pull of my headphones and hum in response.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Max asks as if they wouldn’t know the second a guy even asked me out. 

“No. Why?”

Daniel grins, looking over his seat at me, “I have someone for you.” 

My eyes narrow, “If it’s Lando, the answer is no.”

I see the brit frown, mumbling, “Why not?” 

“It’s not Lando.” Daniel says, making Lando physically react and sitting up straight to look at his friend, “He’s a driver-”

“Immediately no.” 

Max laughs out loud while Daniel rolls his eyes, “It’s rally-”

“Absolutely not.” Lando scoffs, earning a suspicious look from me. 

“You have no say in this, buddy.” Max tugs the hood of Lando’s hoodie over his head, Lando shoving him right back. 

“I have a girl for you, Lando.” I say, crossing my legs to get more comfortable in the two seats I’m taking up. 

“Is it you?” He shoots back quickly. 

“No.” 

“Then I don’t want her.” He says it teasingly but his eyes are on me, his usual smirk gone. 

None of the guys flirt with me except for Lando. Franco has said some joking remarks but apart from some drunken compliments, they’re like my brothers. Not Lando though, never Lando. 

I’ve known him since karting as the nerdy little boy who liked all of my instagram pictures and fought me on track. Now he’s the nerdy formula one driver who’s annoyingly hot and wildly confusing, still fighting me on track. 

Daniel whistles slowly, my eyes pulling away from Lando and back to my book. His eyes stay on me, I can fucking feel it. 

They go back to their game and when we land in Italy, I leave that plane with one plan in mind: beating them. 

⋆༺

“Hey sev.” I’m not happy to hear him, or see him. Except the way he looks might help a little bit. 

“Fuck off, Norris.” He shouldn’t even be near the Cadillac garage. 

My lap got deleted so I'll be starting P15. Lando’s P4 and even he’s upset about it. I’d give anything to switch with him. 

He doesn’t roll his eyes, just crosses his arms and leans closer. “Be nice to me, you rejected me on the plane.” 

I blink. “I always reject you.” 

He nudges my arm, looking away to scan the paddock before sighing, “God forbid a man speak his truth.” 

“What do you want, Lan?” 

“You?” He grins ear to ear and I hate that it makes me smile. “Hold on!” He opens his phone and puts it up to my face. 

“What!?”

He pockets his phone, “Just a reminder that I can still make you smile.”

“Still?” I raise my brow. 

“Don’t act like we didn’t cry laugh back in karting.” 

“Seven years ago!”

“And I stick with my feelings.” 

Someone whistles behind us, “Ay, lover boy!” It’s Daniel, he’s grinning like an idiot next to a sky sports camera man. 

I push Lando away but he grabs my hand to pull me back, “You’re gonna start rumors.” I say, very aware of the cameras on us. 

He doesn’t miss a beat, “Go out with me and then they won’t be rumors, just facts.” 

⋆༺

I don’t date drivers. I did once. Never again will I go back to that. There’s many reasons for him specifically, but a relevant one for anyone on the grid is that social media sees something and runs with it. 

Lando isn’t shy when talking about me, he’s never openly said he thinks i’m hot on camera but the way he talks to me, the subtle flirty words that get picked up in cooldown rooms… we have a fucking ship name now. 

Sour. Seven with Four; also a hint at how I feel about this little hashtag. Technically it’s pronounced ‘soar’ but I like Sour much more. 

It’s gone so far that even the other drivers will address us as Sour, even though there’s never a real need to group us together, they think it’s hilarious. 

The race goes okay from my position, ending up P7 and checking in on Kimi who couldn’t finish his home race. The weekend goes back so fast that the next thing I know, i’m on that fucking plane again. 

I’m watching the race back when Lando sits across from me, closing my screen without saying anything. 

I pull the red vine out of my mouth, “The fuck- Norris!” 

“You’re over analyzing.” He puts his feet up on my chair, wearing sweats and bright red socks. 

“I’m trying to get better.” 

“Seeing every tiny mistake you make isn’t gonna win you races.” He says flatly, “I would know.”

“At least you’ve won a race.” 

“Talk to me when you’re six years in and not two in a brand new team.” He reaches over and grabs a red vine before slouching in his seat, his curls pressing against the leather.

I breathe out, “I want to win.” 

“Then beat Max. Beat Oscar- Beat me!” He shrugs, biting into the candy. “Just chill on the race stuff when we’re 40,000 feet in the air.”

“What do you propose I do instead?” 

“Um… Watch Crazy Rich Asians like a normal person? Talk to me? Drink champagne. Play strip poker-”

“Lando!” 

He’s laughing now, “Sorry! I had to! It’s just… every second of every day is about racing for us, which is good, keeping us focused right? But I've seen people burnout…” He glances back at Danny who’s laughing with Max, “It’s not fun.”

I cross my arms, smiling a bit. “You just want me to talk to you.”

The corner of his lip tugs upwards, “I want you to beat me.”

“Don’t tell me it’s a kink of yours.” 

He full on laughs now, making my stomach twist. Lando stands, coming over to my side and sitting next to me just to open computer, “I’ll give you my netflix password.”

As soon as we land, Daniel and I have to go to a Cadillac event together. He drives while I do my makeup in the passenger seat, “So… you and Lando talked like- the whole flight.”

“It was short.” 

He hums, rocking his shoulders, “Sure but an hour is a long time to talk non-stop.” 

“We’re friends.” I rub my lips together, touching up my lip liner. 

Daniel lets out a laugh while I pop open my lipgloss, “I’m sure he’ll be delighted to hear that.”

“Will you shut it? We are.”

I can hear how unconvinced he is in the tone of his voice, “Friends who flirt.” 

“Lando flirts with me for fun- he knows people think it’s funny.”

Daniel glances at me, speechless for a second. “You can’t honestly believe he’s saying that shit for laughs… right?”

⋆༺

Being with girls after spending every moment of my day competing with men is like running through a field of daisies. Alexandra and Lily make me feel so refreshed and happy, even during a triple header!

We walk along the Monaco harbor, saying which yacht we would want or what we would name them, before heading out to get lunch. 

The place is unbelievably packed, making us all realize that we need to get better at planning and me to get over my fear of making reservations. 

I swear, I think i’m imagining his voice at first. But then, a head of dark curls and tanned body comes into view, “Hey pretty!” 

Lando already has a table because- of course he does. When Lando greets us, it’s like the waitress gains consciousness and realizes who I am. I’m somehow dragged to a table with Lando and his best friend, Max Fewtrell. The five of us sit at a table for three. 

Alex leaves midway through our drinks, having to go earlier than expected which leaves Lily and I, who are only able to laugh at who sits across from us. 

The table is less crowded now and surprisingly, we get on pretty well. Although I do think it’s mostly Max and his cheery personality. 

He’s genuinely hilarious and any tension that I expected is soon forgotten about after we order. Someone comes up and asks for a picture with Lando and I. We do it but I can’t help but cringe at the thought of #sourhavinglunchtogether going viral. 

Not one moment goes by where we’re not talking, every breath overtaken by someone else’s thoughts on whatever topic we bring up. Lily takes a selfie to send to Alex who promptly sends a million laughing emojis. 

After the millionth time that Max makes me laugh, Lando speaks up, half joking, half serious. “Why do you like all my friends more than me?”

“Maybe because they don’t hit on me every chance they get.” Now i’m half joking and half serious. 

He’s quiet the rest of the lunch, popping in jokes as usual but something’s off and he’s horrible at hiding it. 

Alex picks up Lily after our lunch, saying hello quickly before taking his girlfriend away from me. Max is on the phone when Lando awkwardly comes up to me. 

“You know, If I make you uncomfortable… I’ll stop.” It comes out of nowhere. For a second, I don’t know what he means, but then I remember my remark about him hitting on me and it clicks. 

I cringe, hating this conversation already. Do I want him to stop? Do I really just like it because of the attention? Or because it’s coming from him?

He looks worried- like he’s scared that he’s actually crossed a line. “You don’t make me uncomfortable- I just… don’t get it.”

His brows furrow, his hands in his pockets and his eyes too green for this world. His voice is serious when he says it, “You don’t get why I hit on you?” 

I don’t know what to say to that. I always know what to say- especially to him. But now… he’s looking at me as if the last two years have been a joke at his expense. 

Max joins us right before I can answer, saying something about his girlfriend and how he needs to head back. I just nod along, still looking over to Lando who won’t face me. 

⋆༺

Monaco is cloudy today and I'm suddenly very glad I picked out jeans and a sweater for this morning. I’ve spent the week on runs, doing press, and meeting up with some old friends. It’s been a quiet few days, something surprising since it’s still race week. I tap my pass against the entrance, expecting to hear the usual chime of acceptance, but when I start to walk, I'm stopped by metal.  

I frown and try again, but no luck. I’m about to try for a third time when, it finally chimes. But it’s not my paddock pass that slides against the machine with ease, I can tell just by the large veiny hand that holds it. 

I look back to see his face and my stomach does that thing again- he’s so close and for a second, I'm swallowed whole by a mess of curls and beauty marks. 

That second is soon over because without so much as looking at me, he nods to the people inside and says, “Go.” 

I mumble a quick thanks before moving through the metal and into the paddock. I try not to make a face, aware of the amount of cameras on me, but what the fuck is going on?

Lando’s been avoiding me. 

This has never happened before… I haven’t talked to him all week and it’s already Saturday. Well, unless you count that encounter that has me blushing and cringing all at once.

No. Sorry- No. Not blushing. My cheeks are just red from the sun… the sun on a cold and cloudy day. 

⋆༺

“Are you okay?” Daniel asks, standing in the doorframe of my drivers room while i’m spread out on my couch. 

“I’m great.” I mumble because, I am! P2 in quali. In Monaco! I should be way happier than I am.  

“Are you sure…?” 

“Do you think Lando’s mad at me?” I don’t look at him when I say it, I can’t. It’s wholly too embarrassing. 

I can practically hear the way his eyebrows raise, “I don’t think so. Has he been acting differently?” 

I sit up, “Today he apologized for walking past me.” He had his hand on my waist so I wouldn’t fall or panic. He was in a rush, but snatched his hand away the second I looked back at who was moving so fast. 

“Basic etiquette?”

I laugh, “Not for Lando.”

“Well, do you want me to ask? Maybe he’s just locked in for tomorrow.” 

“No!” I scramble, “No that’s okay! I don’t care. It’s good like this, quiet.” 

Daniel just smiles and leaves me alone. 

The truth is, I can’t do this anymore. I spent the whole of Saturday looking for him. What the fuck has happened to me? 

When I run into him- yes, physically, On sunday morning, I spit it out. “What’s wrong with you?”

He blinks, “Sorry?” 

We’re both in our race suits, orange and silver are not a good pair. “You’ve been weird this whole week- can you like act normal? Did something happen?” 

He starts to say something but stops before it can come out. “I thought you wanted this.”

I’m the confused one now. “What?” 

He looks around but no one’s close enough to hear, “I mean, the whole thing at lunch. You said you don’t like it when I hit on you and it’s really hard not to hit on you-”

“I told you it didn't make me uncomfortable.” 

“Max said something about it too and then that post…” He trails off, like he’s scared to make me uncomfortable again. 

A post went viral of all the reasons why Lando and I are secretly dating. It’s shit and honestly, a good laugh, but not that serious. 

“It’s fine.” I cross my arms instinctively, “I thought you were mad at me.” 

Lando rolls his eyes and when he looks back at me, I can feel the shift in the air. “Don’t tell me you’ve missed the flirting.”

“No!” I say a bit louder than necessary, “It’s just- your fans have noticed.” 

He’s grinning now, stepping closer. “My fans?”

I need to shut up. I turn sharply and start walking away, “Bye, Norris.” 

I can hear the smile in his voice. “Beat me today, Sev!”

I don't beat him. I give him some pressure on the last five laps- but Lando Norris wins Monaco and looks absolutely fucking beautiful while doing it. 

It reminds me of Miami- he can’t stop smiling. 

Me, Lando, and Oscar walk off the podium still laughing. Lando picks me up suddenly, his arms around my waist and making me scream. He shakes out his hair onto me- not as if it matters considering I'm soaked in just as much champagne as he is. 

“Put me d- Awh the back says your guys’ names in cursive! You look like you’re getting married!” I laugh. 

“I will keep you in air jail if you keep talking shit about our suits.”

He keeps me trapped against him until we get to the bottom of the stairs. Oscar gives me a look which distracts me so when Lando sets me down, I almost fall. 

His hand grabs my waist, my suit unzipped and his skin far too close to touching mine. “I’m not talking shit. The white looks good.”

He grins. “Did you just say I look good?” 

I roll my eyes, “I take it back, I want you to avoid me again.” I push him away, his touch leaving me while he smiles. 

“You’re a horrible liar.” He nudges my arm, “Come on, admit it. You missed me.”

I scoff, “I did not!” 

“Then why did you beg me to talk to you again?” 

“I did not beg you-”

“You can admit it, Sev. You’re in love with me. That’s okay! We can date in secret and watch our ship edits in bed with our dog.” 

My jaw actually drops. He’s ridiculous. “Our dog?” 

He points at me, walking away backwards while his PR manager says something to him. “You being shocked about the animal and not everything else I said tells me all I need to know!” 

⋆༺

“You can’t be tired!” Carlos snaps his fingers in front of my face, “You’re supposed to be the young one!” 

I can’t believe they’ve managed to drag me out to a club. Sure, I like to party- but not during a triple header! I’m partially discouraged from going because almost every guy brought their girlfriend and Lando won’t be there to keep my single ass company. 

The moment I think I want Lando with me is the same moment that I grab Alexandra and Rebecca, dragging them to the dance floor much to the dismay of their boyfriends. 

We laugh and sing and swing our hips until they are dragged away by said boyfriends. 

“Our queen!” Alex laughs when I pass him and Carlos, who bows. 

Franco is all up on some girl which makes me promptly turn around and head to the bar. “Just a water, thanks.” I say to the bartender. 

“Nothing stronger?” Someone says next to me. He’s the definition of tall, dark and handsome. 

I fake a laugh, trying to be polite at the obvious attempt to start talking to me. “Nope.”

“Can I get you something?” He asks, turning towards me now.

My smile falters, “Waters free.” 

He holds up his drink, swirling it around in the glass before holding it under my nose. I almost gag, tapping the counter and wondering where my water is. 

“Come on, let loose!” He laughs and I suddenly hate how close he is to me.  “Have you ever had a gin and tonic?” I’m immediately forced back to the memory of why my hatred of gin started. Yes, Max Verstappen is to blame. 

“She hates gin.” The voice doesn’t make me roll my eyes like usual, in fact, a wave of relief washes over me. 

His arm slips around my shoulders, looking up at the man who frowns at the sight of Lando. 

The bartender finally hands me my water. “Sorry mate- didn’t know she belonged to you.” 

Lando eyes him up and down, disgusted at his words, “Fuck off.” 

He leaves with a quick, uncomfortable, smile. Lando turns to me, his arm still around me and pulling us close. “Nice skirt.”

“Nice attitude. You’re good at faking the whole protective thing.” 

He smirks, “Faking?”

“I thought you were at the princes dinner, winner.” His nose scrunches at the last word. 

“It’s one in the morning, sev. Royalty doesn’t stay up that late- well, except for you.” He winks and my heart speeds up, the bartender sliding him a drink to match mine. 

“Couldn’t miss out on the party?” 

“Well, I heard you were here and couldn’t resist.” He shrugs, his arm falling from my shoulder to grab his water. “Anyone drunk yet?” 

“No but i’m pretty sure Franco is fucking a girl at our table…” This makes him laugh and once again, i’m reminded how lucky I am to even be around him, “Do you want to dance?” I say it fast, like maybe if it’s quick then he won’t hear me. 

He does. He looks surprised but not ready to risk me saying no. Taking my hand, Lando downs the rest of his water and pulls me onto the dance floor. 

I’m not drunk. I haven’t even had a sip of anything- but I feel like I'm fucking floating with him. 

We dance for a while- too long, probably. I end up back with Daniel and Oscar at the table, drinking water and laughing with them. 

Carlos joins us after I sit and I don’t think before saying, “Do you where Lando is?” I don’t miss the look that Oscar and Daniel share, I just chose to ignore it. 

Carlos just shrugs, “He went home with some girl.” 

⋆༺

I always forget how hard triple headers hit me until I’m woken up by Daniel because I fell asleep in my driver room. 

Spain is much hotter than Monaco, more crowded too. The fans here are insane and I absolutely love it. I’m scheduled for a press conference with Lando and Esteban, something i’m almost late for because of my impromptu nap. 

I sit on the side, Esteban in the middle of Lando and I. I sit through every boring question they ask Esteban and every irrelevant question they ask Lando. 

One question is finally directed at me, “Do you think your lack of wins is due to the space being dominated by men?” My heart races immediately. I hate getting asked these questions obviously but in front of a million cameras and the other drivers, it’s even worse. “We’ve seen you get emotional on track- you really believe you’ll be able to beat someone so mentally tough like say, Max or Oscar?” 

I’m not embarrassed now, just angry. The moderator tries to cut in, along with Esteban and Lando, but I get there first. “I’m not emotional, I just love my sport. Along with every other driver on the grid who shares everything with me except for the fact that they have something between their legs-”

I swear I hear Lando laugh. 

“As for the lack of wins, I'd like you to try and go up against the current top three drivers in the world who have cars and years of experience to back them.” I shift in my seat, sitting up with my mic closer to my lips, “In other words, I have my seat due to the same reason that will win me races someday soon. I wasn’t a diversity hire, I am the best for the job, unlike you who clearly needs to go back and learn how to ask appropriate questions.”  

Everyone is silent, the man who said the question is staring at me. I know my cheeks are red and despite my confident rant, I feel like I want to cry. 

Lando’s the first to speak, “Can we get him out of here?”

Lando’s waiting for me when I leave the conference room. Leaning against the opposite wall, his water bottle in hand and his ankles crossed. He stands up straight when he sees me, “Hey!” I start walking down the hallway, needing to just get out of there. He follows. 

“You handled that really well.” I mumble a thanks in response, staring at my feet as we walk, “He was a dickhead. You ripped him a new one though I'm really impressed- Like really, I’m proud of you!”

I stop walking before we walk out the door, turning to him and wrapping my arms around the man. It takes a second before he’s hugging me back, his hand slipping to my back. 

I take a deep breath. Lando smells like mint shampoo and something sweet, pulling me tighter to him. He feels like relief. 

“Are you okay?” He backs up a bit, keeping his hands on me. 

I nod, “Thank you.” 

He scrunches his nose, “For what?” 

“You’re a really good friend, Lan.”

He drops his hands after I call him a friend, slipping them into his pockets. God he looks too good for friendship- hat backwards with curls peaking out, his nose scar perfectly across his nose. Why are scars so hot!?

“So are you.” He says hesitantly.

I scramble for something to say- any topic would do, honestly. I just need him to stop looking at me like that. “You know, I was left to dance with Franco the other night.” 

He sways on his heels, “Couldn’t have been that bad, you’ve done it before.”  

“Hope it was worth it.” 

His eyes narrow, “Hope what was worth it?” 

“She. The girl you left with.”

He smiles- actually smiles! It’s heartbreaking, too pretty for this world. “Who told you that?” My heart drops. “Are you jealous or something?” 

“What! No!” I’m going to kill Carlos. 

He laughs, “Horrible liar, sev.”

“I am not jealous.” I scoff, “You’re the jealous one… Fuck off I probably have to go do crisis management for my little spiel.” I flip him off as I walk away. 

He shakes his head, walking the opposite way as me, I’m about to turn the corner when he says it, “Sev! For the record, no girl is worth more than you are.”

⋆༺

Oscar Piastri. 

Lando Norris. 

Me. 

Our qualifying lineup for the Spanish grand prix. 

Starting behind two mclarens- starting behind Lando! I’m in for a hell of a race. All I can do is pray for a miracle and trust myself. 

I do trust myself, I trust myself when I send it at the restart, passing Lando. I trust myself in the last three laps, shaving my proximity to Oscar down. 

I trust myself when, during the last lap- I pass him. It’s risky and for a second I'm scared that I could get a penalty… but then, there’s no one in front of me. 

The checkered flag is all I see and suddenly my race engineer is yelling in my ear and I think I'm crying. 

The second I get out of the car, I'm bombarded with people around me. Everyone’s congratulating me at once, Lewis high-fiving me at the same time Yuki pats my back. 

Everything is the perfect about of overwhelming, Oscar hugging me, Carlos screaming while Ollie pulls his phone out to video. 

My team embraces me with a million arm pats and tears, Daniel kisses my cheek before hugging me, whispering how well I did. 

I don’t see Lando until the cooldown room. We’re the first ones there and he scoops me up as if I weigh nothing. 

It’s different than our hug the other day- we’re both grinning ear to ear and when he tells me how proud he is of me, again, I tug him closer. 

I pull away first. “You beat me. Is this something I'm gonna have to get used to or…?” I laugh and push him away when Oscar enters. 

“Get a room.” He mumbles. 

“We’re in one.” Lando rolls his eyes, unzipping his suit. 

 Oscar frowns, “I’m not keen to join.” I laugh harder. 

⋆༺

We go to dinner. Not the club or a bar, a proper nice dinner with everyone I love in my life. My grid. 

I sit in between Daniel and Lando, eating Pasta and laughing way too hard for this nice restaurant. 

At some point, one of the rookies starts talking dating and we immediately fall into a rabbit hole of everyone’s dating life. 

“What about you Lando? Is that playboy reputation real?” Kimi asks, making Lando laugh and shake his head- yeah right. 

“I don’t really date…” He shrugs, “but I'm not a slut.”

I can’t hold in my laugh, “Right.”

“Right, what?” 

“The whole of Monaco has seen your-”  

“I need air.” Is all he says, standing up and walking right out the door. 

I look around, the table quiet and tension thick. 

“What’d I say?” No one answers, “Lando does date. Right?” 

They all either mumble something or shake their head. “Hello…? Am I missing something? Why wouldn’t Lando date?”

It’s Franco who says it. “It’s probably because Lando’s been in love with you for years and you still think it’s some joke.”

I didn’t think it was possible for this table to get even more uncomfortable. Yet here we are. 

Pierre hits Franco in the back of the head, they’re all staring at me. Expecting me to do something. 

I put my fork down, standing up and leaving the way Lando did. There’s no way… Sure I knew he had a crush but he still hooked up with other girls! Whenever I dated, which wasn’t often, he’d send a glare to the man but left us alone. 

Love? Lando Norris is not in love with me. 

I rush out the door, seeing Lando standing in the hot night air, “I need to know why you did all of it.”

He turns around, surprised to see me, apparently. “All of what-”

“The flirting! The comments! Everything! Lando- You can’t actually like me.” I can’t breathe. 

He makes me wait an agonizing two seconds, his mouth parted as he meets my eyes. “Why else would I do it, Sev?” His voice is soft and it reminds me that he’s never raised it at me. 

“But you… you were joking.” The look he gives me right there… like he’s shocked I could ever think that, I’ll never forget it. 

He breathes out, shaking his head like it physically hurts him to say, “I’m not stupid, sev… I know you don’t fancy me. Maybe some of the shit I said was in a joking way but I've never taken it back.”

I pause, getting madder by the second. “You are stupid. You teased me and flirted and basically wasted all of your energy on wanting me.” He doesn’t look hurt, just like he’s accepted it. “You can’t just not date because of me! You started a million rumors just by the way you look at me! You told my mom when you were thirteen that you would marry me one day! God- Norris!” I huff, running my hands through my hair like a maniac. I look at him, swallowing. He’s so beautiful, how could he ever not chose someone because of me? “The worst bit is that you let yourself think that the reason you’re stupid is because you didn’t give up.”

He doesn’t even process what I've said, “You’re right. I’m an idiot.”

“No.” It’s almost a laugh. “I am. I’m an idiot for never seeing how much you actually cared. And for pretending like I didn’t feel the same.”

His eyes dart to me. “What?” It’s no more than a whisper. 

“I’m sorry for taking so much time- I think I really like you and I have for a while.” We both freeze, the only sound being our breaths and the faint voices from inside. 

“Please tell me I'm not dreaming.” He steps closer to me, his hands drifting over my hips as I laugh. 

I look up at him, “What would you do if it was a dream?” 

He’s shaking his head now, “I’d never wake up.” And then he’s kissing me. Soft, careful… like I might break. 

I grab his face and hold him tight. I’m never letting go of him now. 

“This is the best day of my life.” I mumble into the kiss, making him laugh, “Beat Lando Norris and kissed him, save the date.” 

He pushes a strand of hair out of my face, “Took you long enough.” Lando winks before kissing me again. I can’t believe I never knew what he tasted like, how perfect he feels against me. 

He glances back to the door, “Ready?” 

“To get ruthlessly teased? Sure.” 

He takes my hand in his, “Worth it.”

When we walk back in, all Lando has to say is, “Don’t say a fucking thing.” They’re quiet for a moment, surprising us both, but then the whole table erupts in laughter and cheers. My family.

[worstdisastermaster]

HAPPY GAY MONTH YALL

Aight i made a subtle aroace flag for myself while watching movies with my grandparents and if u all want u can use it too. U can use it if u like it or if, like me, its not safe to be openly gay at ur house :(

Oh also if u think someone would notice the little blatant sunset flag colors in the corner i added to make it more obvi that its inspired by the flag heres a version without it so its more subtle!!!

As far as i can tell u can use the sunset aroace flag even if u arent sure where u r on the spectrum yet so im using it for me as a ‘aspec somehow ?’ flag cuz idk where i am on the spectrum rn and i dont have the free time to figure it out,,, sooooooo. Ur welcome to use this if u arent sure!!! Cuz i made it and i said so >:)

Soooo i made it based on the sunset aroace flag (duh haha) and i tried to do the same thing last year with traditional materials and it didnt turn out well HAHAHAH but we tried again this year and it turned out sooo much better imo!! I decided on a fox standing on the snow for a lot of reasons but mainly bc i saw this one thing earlier this week and it made me laugh,,,,

so. A fox. Yes. Also I like foxes. (Almost a year ago my idea was "omg aceflag but UNICORN bc the whole virginity thjng- and then I remembered virginity is a concept meant to control women and also has no real importance to someone being aspec and if i made a flag based on that it would actually be quite aphobic so im glad i got sleep and was able tk THIBK AB IT befire j made it 💀😭) oh and also my dog looks like a fox (shiba inuuuuuu) and she hates everybody ecept me so. and then butterflies bc change and all blah blah blah (cuz like. Demis and also people who aren't sure but feel one way at one stage and may feel dif later and and and- lots of thoughts not enough brain rn HAHAH but I hope u get the gist?) but also i didnt want to do like. A parrot. And i had a reason for not drawing a corvid i swear i just dont remember them HAHAAHHA (mayhaps next year i will do it anyway..) and crocuses!! And uh. Symbolism and all that jazz. If i had smth else i forgot im tired :( i have the WORST habit of only posting when sleep deprived whyyy

ANYWAY i apologize if anything is wrong or offensive in my flag its just supposed to be a silly thing I made yesterday and forgot to post that I made for myself but wondered if anyone else wojld want so. Please forgive me if I managed to do something stupid I know things get pretty heated up sometimes ab gay stuff and my intention was just to have something to celebrate a part of myself thag I can't trust with any of my family or even talk ab at school so :( pretty please no hate? Just tell me if I did smth stupid I mess up a lot but I'm doing my best I swear :((

anYways. Heres my subtle gay flag for my first gay month celebraiton!!! I hope yall like it :)

(ALSO HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME ACEWEEK WAS A THING. WHAT THE HECK YALL I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN OR DRAWN SMTH GOOD FOR THAT RAHHHHH ugh ill just have to be on the lookout fo rit next year. grr.)

ANYWAY gn yall my summer course starts tomorrow :((((((

(2 more prompts yall. That's only 2000 words [...+. gonna be honest prob more] but ILL GET IT DONE SOON I SWEAR RAHH WORKING ON THE SECOND TK LAST DAY HALF TODAY HALF TOMORROW AND THE LAST HOPEFULLY SOON TOO IMMA FINISH TOAPRIL RAHHHHH)

[melrosing]

something weird afoot with akotsk bc that kid is only going to get older in the time they’re not shooting the next season and pushing it back a whole year isn’t gonna help…..

[ganondoodle]

11 pm again and i spent my evening trying to draw but ending up deleting like 5 attempts again and i just want to cry

cant even get upset anymore, i just sit here looking at the wasted time and just kinda going 'yeah ... what did i expect' and the tears are already back :I

[kitkatsgalore]

you have my soul, you have my heart ♡

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[angy-grrr]

I don’t get why ppl keep saying bkdk is dead or Horikoshi broke off bkdk. If that were true, this extra would look very different as you pointed out multiple times. The extra was still heavily focused on them and I hate how ppl are letting one no dictate the entire relationship. Izuku asks him to be a special lecturer too. I think the no just needs more clarification but other than that it is mostly fine. If a ship were to be shut down by the creator, it would look very different. Same logic for if a ship were to be canon, it would look different than what we got in the end for izu///ocha. This extra was bad in different ways from ships. It was just a whole lot of nothing that doesn’t meaningfully add anything to the story but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised since it is an extra. It is still an ambiguous ending that can be pretty fixable by one shots by Horikoshi in the future or even better by fanfiction lol. Except for the Toga part. That is just inexcusable

himiko-chan :(

and yeah! like even tho 431 is terrible not only for pairs but also for the whole story, it only confirmed Katsuki feels something really strong for deku and he doesnt notice bc he doesnt consider himself to be that great; they keep talking, and they keep being in each other's lives with no problem -they also imply they will work on communicating their feelings, as the special lecture is about this topic and deku also thinks katsuki doesnt see himself in a high regard. This is actually something that could be used in the future, as their relationship and arc isnt completely finished -in the way that they arent at a point of no miscommunication, no yearning, etc. They still need something to work with in regards to themselves and each other in the process. When it comes to midoriya and uraraka, idk what exactly could develop from what 431 tell us -seems to be mostly about paying attention to the ppl in your life instead of just letting life happen I guess? But idk what conversation or arc they could have together that wasn't resolved already, it was a really weird choice to focus on them as if there needs to be more explored -which is why choosing to not make them talk to each other nor think of the other in these years is potentially interesting, like the only way they could actually need to talk things up or have a separated special moment is if they just stop being friends and want to talk more from now on. Like, if they kept their friendship these years and were part of the other's life, there wouldnt be a moment like this at all.

I think it hurt mostly ochako -and deku if we interpret it as "deku just wants to be teacher, he is super happy about it, and loveeees so much his ex bestie after 8 years of no contact and never thinking about her"-, more than the bkdk relationship.

It would be interesting to see those one shots, if he does them -I know he said he wanted to do more things and little drawings and content for it, but idk if he will do something elaborate or just one page of something silly. I think he still has to opportunity of working with the material and make something at least not this bad -or completely ignore 431 and just continue with their adventures like 430 implies lol If he wants to double down with the "romance" I have no idea how he could do it with what he has tbh, unless he just ignores the plot and their personalities.

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[james-stark-the-writer]

just finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and it is a game written by cowards for cowards.

the final twist genuinely ruins the game. it's so stupid as a narrative decision. i hate it so much. it almost makes me understand what the people yelling about The Last Jedi being too subservient to its themes were yelling about (OBVIOUSLY not the ones that were being bigoted and loud and wrong about it, but just the ones who had actual issues with its narrative directions/execution). genuinely, the twist takes what could have been an extremely solid 8.5, maybe a 9/10 game down to a 4/10 game with nothing of interest to say deluding itself into thinking it's saying anything of worth by thoughtlessly repeating patterns as if that's supposed to generate meaning without any real effort of actually committing to that meaning, or seeing the world as anything beyond its basic binary worldview of Good and Bad.

putting that twist in fundamentally cuts the legs out from any actual, interesting and substantive critique it could have leveled at the legal system and our feelings about people on trial and their perceived guilt or innocence, and it just ends up reinforcing it as a power of good that Will Ultimately Prevail In The Search For Truth, as if that is even remotely a thing any legal system is concerned with, especially the one in the game that mostly just stumbles into The Right Choices because it's a game controlled by the player. it's frankly ideologically incoherent to the point of saying nothing because its critique is unfocused and toothless. best it can muster is "maybe some people are corrupt and lying, but if You take Advantage of The System, you can beat them" as if malicious compliance is supposed to change the system. fuck off.

ran out of tags but. i'm serious about this lol, i really hate it as a narrative and ideological choice. the game threatens to say something bold and interesting and then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. it sucks. it's very much like 12 Angry Men in that way, i think, except at least that movie Knows what it's saying and that its basic premise is its ideological downfall, this just doesn't really feel like it says anything much interesting or coherent, ultimately, because the criticism either drowns in the length and comedic nature of it, or just ultimately isn't focused and pointed and nuanced enough to actually say something meaningful. like ik someone's gonna do a "kid's game" thing but hello, kid's shit has always been nuanced and just bc it's "for kids" doesn't mean it has to abide by some binary ass morality that flattens all its interesting critique, especially when you're constantly led, structurally, to the more interesting and nuanced narrative choice only to have a twist completely ruin it and making it all feel like a waste of your time. plenty of things are nuanced and interesting and "for kids" without deflating their themes and messages by writing a stupid twist that undercuts the interesting parts of its arguments.

[pollen]

hi fellow neurodivergent people

i hate to jump on the "i think i might have adhd" bandwagon, but if i think i might have adhd, how do i bring it up to my care team as a 28-year-old cis woman who was a massive overachiever until i couldn't keep up the ruse anymore?

[puphoods]

OC masterpost :)

egressregress- a short story centering three people in a post-apocalyptic society trying to survive the world and each other. cooper, dahlia, and elliot are three people largely isolated from any other survivors because of their own choices and are stuck relying on each other, despite the distrust and hatred they hold for each other

ITAFD (short for "is that a fucking dog?")- zoey is working the graveyard shift one day when she witnesses the fall of an angel. after finding out that this angel is tied to the recent death of her twin brother the two, along with a demon who claims to have the answers they are looking for and a terrified pizza boy, set out to find the cause of her brothers death and to try and restore the angels place in heaven

unnamed story 1- claire foster has spent years on his own after his actions lead to the death of his father. after meeting a young woman named amber, the two and their group of friends get caught up in a turf war between a local vampire coven and a mysterious, underground group rumored to be seeking immortality

unnamed story 2- an elite team of scientists and soldiers is sent to investigate a newly discovered and rapidly spreading disease that is rumored to cause rapid physical mutations to the host. the story follows leah, scientist on the team, as she tries to conduct her research while hiding powers that seem to have ties to the disease

unnamed story 3- a game where you help rebuild a mostly abandoned town, meeting, befriending, and maybe even learning to love the variety of monster people who live in and come to town. with a large list of possible residents you can choose from you will design your own unuque town as you farm, cook, trade, build, and design homes for your new friends

[placeholder name] the party- a point-and-click style game where you play as a university student named katherin who is stressed out at a house party and trying to find her ride so she can go home. explore the house and have conversations with people from her life from both the past and present, helping other partygoers on the way

misc other- [this list will once i finish ideally have links to separate posts with more in-depth summaries and descriptions of characters. this section will contain other ocs without their own contained universe or ones without much worldbuilding to it just yet]

[starbuck]

constant pattern recently where, every time I try to work on school work, I end up working on plans for after I graduate instead lmaoooo

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[francy-sketches]

I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life

[navii-blaze]

listen to my vision boy

[adore-gregor]

.