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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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It's gotten to the point where, having finished the show hooked on Blackbonnet, I now only trust Ed characterization in the hands of Izzy enjoyers. They don't tend to hollow him out to make him pure. Like. It's not even the usual bullshit that's been talked to death. It's that. What kind of fandom watches a character insist on getting stabbed by his love interest, enjoy it a lot, and then ask his ex fuckbuddy to whip his balls and also enjoys it a lot. On camera! In canon! And yet 6300 works later the Edward Teach Has a Pain Kink tag is not canonized and every fic I could find tagged with him and masochism it's either Izzy or Stede that's into it! Or Steddyhands! There's a couple Blackbonnet ones with Ed being into doling out pain or at least willing but no sign of Edward "Run Me Through" Teach anywhere. It's not even because he's often woobied, like we do that to Izzy plenty and the pain kink is a juicy plus there?

Blackhands doesn't go with Ed being a masochist but there I get it. If they're both into pain who's steering the ship? Even though I'd argue Ed is more blatantly into it in canon lol

I hope the canon Blackbonnet dynamic is more blatantly fucked up in season 2 maybe that'll fix this (after causing a fandom war or three and setting fire to twitter)

You know what? I. had not really... thought about that?

I think I was so wrapped up in the stabbing scene being a metaphor for sex that I forgot he was actively moaning about being stabbed through it.

And, to detour a little from Edward Teach Has a Pain Kink, which is absolutely going into all my fics now ty, it kinda also puts being Blackbeard into a new light?

Like, he seems to enjoy being stabbed, fighting etc, he shows that! So if every time his ship sails up everyone surrenders, I'm guessing he doesn't really get a lot of time to be stabbed, fight, maim people etc anymore. It's not just the lack of adventure/excitement, it's also a lack of everything else, including a casual indulgence of his desire to self-harm pain kink in an 'acceptable pirate manner'.

I remember seeing someone on Twitter saying how they didn't understand how antis could be in the OFMD fandom because "have they SEEN the show? it is BLATANTLY sexual and kinky??" and I watched it and felt it was a lot tamer than I expected (lol) but I assumed they were referring to like the daddy scene etc

but now, now i am imagining a future where David Jenkins' much longed for sex scene is kinky. I'm imagining a future where they're explicitly kinky on screen. I am imagining all of these things but also I am imagining Rhys and Taika having giggle fits about it in interviews.

Furthermore, I think a lot of the time in fanon what happens is that the first few people to write fics kind of... set the scene? I saw someone the other day talking about how in the Merlin fandom, Arthur is always portrayed as a bi jock and Merlin as a gay nerd who has no friends, despite in canon Arthur only really shows interest in women when he's enchanted, and is awkward af, meanwhile Merlin is running around like he owns the place, crushing on everyone regardless of gender, and making friends with everyone and their mother and telling the heir of Camelot where to stuff it.

But I imagine that because the BNFs of that fandom wrote Arthur and Merlin the way they did, everyone sort of picked up that characterization? And I'm guessing that's what's happening in this fandom too.

Those of us who meta, who actually deep-dive into what we see on screen (for example Izzy being terrified in the toe scene, Ed seeming adhd etc), what it might mean when picked into, and the depths below that surface meaning (izzy being horny in the toe scene does not make it consensual nor does it make it not terrifying and traumatic, for example. bodily reactions =/= actual desires) are a smaller portion of the fandom than those who make jokes, fuck around with 'imagines' and so on.

So when the majority of the fandom is going, "Hey! Izzy was horny being choked and horny being maimed," the fanon becomes that Izzy is a masochist. When the majority of the fandom is saying Ed is a pillow princess who wants to be doted on and adored and doesn't want to do any of the work, the fanon becomes that Ed is a pillow princess bottom.

(I actually... am not sure I agree, with that? He likes fine things, but liking fine things doesn't mean he wants to laze around or not do any of the work, nor does it mean he doesn't have the capacity to top, nor does it mean he wouldn't perhaps be a... is there a term for a pillow princess top? Like, lying there while Stede rides him type thing? Maybe that's just pillow princess top, hmm. pillow princess top, type?

And also, the idea that "Ed craves excitement and fun and he seems adhd and autistic af" translates to "pillow princess bottom" is... hm. Odd? Bottom I'm assuming they got from the stabbing scene ("oh yeah, stab me. put it in me, stede, cmon!") but to me it translates more to Ed being really in to like... physical play? Pressure, pain, temperature etc, and experiencing how those things feel, and also having like, soft, fine things added into their sex life? I feel like if Stede showed up with a fancy fine thing style butt plug, Ed would just bust a nut on the spot.

There's also that the things you enjoy in your day to day life aren't always the things you enjoy in your sex life? Shy passive people who are doms exist, for instance.

Ed strikes me more as someone who is deeply invested and actively participates in anything he does, and his disinterest in life in 1x03 is a showing of how his depression is gripping him.

Also if he's actually ADHD the likelihood that lying there being a pillow princess would send his brain off to lala land to suddenly remember where he left that knife he lost 17 years ago is high so he'd definitely need to participate and concentrate lmao)

I am going to write masochist!Ed just for you, nonnie.

Carrying on though, I wanna hone in on this bit:

I now only trust Ed characterization in the hands of Izzy enjoyers. They don't tend to hollow him out to make him pure.

fucking same

I love Blackbonnet. I finished S1 and I was like "this is amazing and i love them So Much", and you know I also love blackhands and steddyhands and gentlehands, but I do not trust fandom to not water Blackbonnet down to Pure™ and it makes me very nervous when skimming through AO3 and whatnot because the likelihood of "Well, Izzy deserved atrocities" and "well it's not like they DIED so it's fine you tried to kill them!" and such is just...really high, and it makes me upsetti spaghetti to deal with it.

Ed canonically has a temper. Ed canonically has impulse control issues. Ed canonically has mental issues. Ed canonically is a deeply violent and fucked up man. He went right to murdering his father as a kid, you don't do that if there's nothing fucked up in there. He was a child who murdered his father. And, regardless of what his father was doing, the jump from cringing watching him throw plates and hit his mother to murdering him with a rope on a dock is a big one. Rather like jumping from "We speak our minds here" to nighttime mutilation.

(To me, this implies the abuse ran deep and fucked his head up rather a lot, actually, and that possibly his mother excused and validated it as victims often do. Oh, he's just angry. Oh, he just had a bad day etc. Cycle of abuse etc etc and then you internalize the idea that if you're just angry or you just had a bad day then violence is justified. And then you're angry. And you kill your father.)

None of this is to say that fandom joking about masochism and pillow princessing etc is bad, just that it becomes ingrained in our subconscious as Fact over time when we see enough of it. It's a lot like propaganda in that sense, when you see enough of something false (which Izzy being a masochist or Ed a pillow princess is, since it hasn't been canonically shown nor stated, not like Ed moaning wantonly at being stabbed) it slowly seems more true until you're believing it wholeheartedly.

Plus, there's the factor that if loads of people love reading masochist!Izzy or pp!Ed, then writing that thing creates an echo chamber of praise and lots of people reading it and internalizing it and then writing their own and then it goes around and around like that.

Again, I don't think it's bad, it just explains a lot about why fanon goes the way it goes and a big chunk of this fandom is going to have a big storm coming when s2 opens and Ed is like, opening up someone's chest with a knife to play xylophone on their ribs for someone's amusement.

Final thoughts: I too want fucked up Blackbonnet. I don't want them to forever be soft and pure and sweet. I want more depth to them, please! And also let them be kinkazoid plz

#ofmd #blackbonnet #edward teach #edward teach meta #ofmd meta #our flag means death #ask #anonymous

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flooffybits · 3 years

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(Not Just) Friends

Idol: Kim Jungeun (Loona)

marshmallow: Kim lip x 13th member story inspired by the song friends by Ed Sheeran��

A/n: this one is done earlier because of a friend but i still plan on sticking to my schedule

☕buy me a coffee☕

Being attracted to someone of the same sex was a very difficult thing when you live in Korea due to it being a little more conservative compared to other countries.

Being attracted to someone of the same sex while being an idol, however, was a completely different conversation you were not ready to have with anyone.

Especially not when the person was someone in the same group as you - someone you had considered a really close friend.

“Unnie, pay attention!” You snap out of your thoughts to the sound of Yeojin’s voice and when her hand enveloped around your wrist, preventing you from mindlessly chopping a finger off. You were quick to retract the knife you were holding and looked apologetically towards the maknae, who had a bit of a panicked look on her face. “Sorry.” You mumbled before Sooyoung shook her head with an exaggerated sigh.

“I thought I could trust you in the kitchen!” She scolds playfully and you pout before turning back to the potatoes you were preparing. “I don’t burn the kitchen.” The comment earned a glare from your now brunette friend whilst Hyejoo burst out laughing at your little jab. “Hey, that’s a low blow.” Chaewon huffs and you shrug your shoulders when Sooyoung laughs beside you. “At least the worst you’ve done recently is just cutting up the food container, unlike Choerry.”

“Hey!”

Said girl pouted while Jinsoul gave her a small pat on the back. “At least you cleaned up the microwave afterwards.” Though even when she nodded, the pout had yet to leave Yerim’s face, making you smile as you put the cut vegetables aside. “Don’t worry, you guys are doing better so that’s a plus.” You assure them before moving to check on the beef to see if it was still frozen or not so you could cut them into smaller pieces.

Though in your busy state, you don’t realize the body next to you before an added pressure came to your left shoulder and when you turned, Hyunjin gave you her puppy eyes out of nowhere, making you raise a brow right before she muttered a quiet ‘aeong’ that made you break into a smile.

“What do you want this time, Hyun?” The cat puffed her cheeks before nuzzling your shoulder. “I’m hungry.” She stated and you hum while refocusing on the food you were preparing for all of them. “I know, that’s why I’m cooking.” You chime and she hugs you from the side with a whine. “I want bread.”

Of course she did.

“Don’t you and Heejin have a stash?” You question, grabbing a few spices to season the meat and the other huffed. “We finished it and we haven’t bought any yet.” She replies and you let out a small sigh before shaking your head. “Why don’t you buy now? I’m pretty sure you’ll be back by the time I finish.” But your suggestion earned itself a whimper from the latter before she’s pulling at your arm. “Come with me.”

Of course, your inability to decline your members of anything they liked was the reason why Hyunjin was pestering you into coming with her. That, and the fact that she knows you’ll get her more bread compared to Heejin.

Meanwhile, off to the side, as you and the cat continued to act like a married couple, a certain blonde watched with a small scowl set on her lips, arms crossed as she listened to the conversation you were both having.

Though, she knows that she shouldn’t be jealous, she couldn’t help the fear that maybe one day you would get tired of all the hiding. But then again, she remembers that neither of you were actually dating because you were too scared about the consequences of being found out by anyone, in or out of the group.

But she couldn’t say you were mere friends either.

“What were you expecting me to do? You know that I can’t just let Hyunjin go on her own.” You sigh, exasperated and Jungeun frowns more, not at all pleased with having to sit by and watch you and your friend act almost much more of a couple than you and her have ever been. “Hyunjin is old enough to do things on her own! She could have gone with any of the other girls if you told her no, too.” She retorted and you rolled your eyes before letting out a grunt. “Jungeun, me and Hyunjin are friends. I think you’re forgetting that fact.” You remind her and she huffs. “Friends don’t act like they want to go out on a date with each other.”

Something inside of you snaps at her words and you turn to glare at her. “Friends don’t look at each other the same way we do. Hell, friends shouldn’t even be kissing like we do, but here we are!” You snap and the room goes quiet as you both stare at each other, emotions bubbling and ready to spill over, but you’re quick to notice the rising tension, so you take a step back and shake your head, frowning.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You mutter, pushing past the older girl and exiting her room, leaving Jungeun to stare after you before she let out a groan and collapsed on her bed, pressing a pillow to face as she did just so no one would come in and hear her.

She knows that you were right, but there was nothing either of you could do with the situation. Unless you wanted to get in trouble, this was the best you could manage without compromising the rest of the girls.

Later that night, you’re woken by the movement on your bed and a body pressing against your side, prompting your eyes to open.

The blonde hair was enough of a give away as to who it was, but the older girl doesn't let you speak when she just pulls you closer so you don't get to see her face when she buries it to your hair.

"I'm sorry." Is all she says and you blink in confusion before slowly letting your arms come around her waist and just shut your eyes again.

This wasn't anything new, but this was the first time that Jungeun's decided to be the one to come to you and apologize rather than sleeping it off and talking about it the next day.

While none of the members were bothered with the two of you sleeping in each other's bed, it bothered you both when someone else would do it with you.

And it just so happens that Jungeun isn't the only one that ever gets jealous.

"I get it, you have great chemistry and all, but did you really have to rub it in my face?" Jungeun scoffs at your words after you got home from another interview. Everyone had to be in their respective sub units, so it made sense that Jungeun stayed with Jinsoul and Yerim, and you with Yeojin.

But it just somehow made you a little uncomfortable to see Jungeun let the older girl pepper her face with kisses and act like you weren't there at all.

"Oh, come on! You know that Jinsoul unnie likes to be affectionate with everyone, so stop acting like a jealous girlfriend!"

You both shut up and Jungeun's anger diminished when she saw the look on your face as you clenched your jaw, only to let out a quiet sigh and your shoulders grew slack. The defeated look on your face was something new to her through all the years you've been together and it catches her off guard.

"Y/n, wait-"

"No, Jungeun. This needs to stop." You breathe out, because as painful as it was to say, you had to put your foot down instead of letting this cycle continue.

You were only hurting yourselves.

"We just need a bit more time. You know that we can fix this." She pleads and you shake your head, both desperate and frustrated at the same time. "Time won't fix this, not when neither of us can be brave enough to admit the truth."

She hates how it sounds like a breakup. But that was what made it worse.

You were never together to begin with.

“We can’t keep doing this, Jungeun. It’s only going to ruin everything we’ve worked for.” You try to reason but she shakes her head in a desperate attempt to have you change your mind. “But I really like you.”

And she sees it when you pause, because Jungeun knows that you were in too deep to say that you only liked her. She sees it in the way you look at her and the way you act towards her.

She knows that you’re dying from holding back with those three little words because it was make or break.

You just couldn’t risk it with the environment you both lived in.

“You know how I feel.” You breathe out, eyes turning glossy as tears begin building up, but you hold them back because you still had to face the rest of your members once you walked out the door. “But this can’t keep going on. I’m sorry.”

When you leave her room that night, none of the girls notice the difference. Jungeun doesn’t run after you nor do you run after her in the days that follow. Plastering a friendly look on your face when together, no one can see the toll it’s taking on either of you as you bury your feelings at the very back of your mind and focus on what mattered while she did the same.

However, it’s during one of Sooyoung’s recent vlogs where the older girl managed to pull you in with her and asked she did you makeup where Jungeun can feel the burning in her chest with how close your face was to her fellow leader.

And while Heejin was there with Haseul, she hates how close and comfortable you were with Sooyoung cradling your face and even sneaking in a kiss to your cheek every once in a while. Sooyoung was close to finishing and her expression lit up as she pinched your cheek when she showed your face to the camera.

“Wow! Y/n looks so pretty!” Heejin commented, awe laced in her tone as Sooyoung looked proud with her work before facing the camera. “You’re so cute, I could just kiss you!” She teased, drawing a laugh from your lips as you gave her a playful push. “You’ve been doing that even when you weren’t doing my makeup.”

“But you’re always denying my kisses!” She complained while trying to latch on to your arm as you pull your head back. “Because I don’t want them!”

“Yah! I’m your unnie, let me love you!”

The comment ended up with bouts of laughter from the members present, but Jungeun kept herself hidden in the corner before she eventually slipped back into her room and let her thoughts wander.

Grunting, you press your back against the wall of the practice room and let out a huff. Your legs were killing you with the amount of times you decided to go over the choreography of the dance you were studying. Since your schedule had yet to be filled, you opted for keeping yourself in practice just so your body wouldn’t be surprised once you had to start for your comeback.

Couldn’t they just tell you when to get ready?

Regardless, you did your best to just be prepared in the event that you did have to start practicing.

“You okay?” Kahei’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you lifted your head with a small smile despite the sweat running down your forehead. “Yeah, just a little tired. Thanks, unnie.” You respond before the older woman gives you a small pat on the head. “Don’t push it.” She says with a warning look and you nod your head, knowing that ever since your first performance for Butterfly, the girls would check up on you during practices.

After catching your breath, you were able to look around and see everyone who did come. Since Jiwoo was out doing her Chuu Can Do It episode, she was obviously not present to cause some noise in the room. Jinsoul was at the dorms with the rest of the maknae line except for Yerim and Heejin, who opted to come with you for practice. Sooyoung decided to stay back as well, just so there were people to look after the rest of the girls and that you wouldn’t come back to a burnt home.

Haseul had gone home for a bit, just to fix a few things, so you were only left alone with Kahei, Heejin, Jungeun, and Yerim. But even when you were all in the same room, the only person you were actually talking to was Kahei since Heejin was too busy with her workout and Yerim and Junguen were practicing a choreography of their own.

“Y/n, do you want to eat anything?” Kahei called from her place by the door, phone in hand and presumably talking with your leader. “Are you going to buy me food?” You ask with a little grin appearing on your face and the older girl playfully rolls her eyes.

“Another time. Haseul said she was stopping by the convenience store, so she’s asking.” She explained and you seem thoughtful for a while before shrugging your shoulders. “Can I have a drink instead? I want coffee.” You ask and the older girl shoots you an odd look. “You won’t be able to sleep if you drink coffee now.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m pretty sure I’ll be knocked out from practicing.” You reason and Kahei let out a sigh before eventually agreeing. “Can you tell Haseul unnie to buy me a sandwich?”

“Sure thing!”

While you were busy with stretching your legs on the floor, Jungeun glanced in your direction as Yerim took a break and wandered over to where Heejin had already cooled down from exercising. She wasn’t too happy about your lack of food intake after hours of practice, but then again, she isn’t too sure if you would take anything if it was coming from her.

“Unnie, Yves unnie is calling you.” Yerim’s voice broke you and the blonde out of what you were doing and her thoughts as you turned to see that your phone was, in fact, ringing on the desk at the corner of the room before scrambling to your feet.

Jungeun watches as you answer your friend's call and exit the practice room with the kind of smile on your face that could only indicate that something had happened in the dorm. However, it doesn't erase the ideas of you possibly moving on from Jungeun and falling for Sooyoung's charms.

Since Sooyoung was also known to be very open about her support and affections towards you, it would only make sense that you might end up falling for her instead.

The thought scared her.

With her mind going a mile a minute, none of you were prepared as she jumped to her feet the moment you came back into the room after your call with the other girl. You looked clueless since she hasn't exactly approached you since your decision of stopping whatever it was going on between the both of you, but her next course of action surprised not only you, but everyone else present in the room.

With a hand to the side of your neck, the blonde tugged you forward before you felt the familiarity of her lips against yours. The surprise caused you to drop your phone before your hands went instinctively to her waist to anchor yourself.

All the longing and aching made your body react and almost instantly forget that you weren't supposed to be doing this anymore, but with Jungeun's warmth and the slight squeeze she'd given you, it didn't take long to allow yourself to get lost in her touch.

The only time you both pull apart is when the sound of a thud resonated in the, otherwise, quiet room meets your ears and Haseul stood at the entrance with a completely baffled look on her face, matching the rest of the girls as they all but stopped what they were doing and stared at the two of you. And in that moment, you snapped out of whatever daze you were in and looked back to the blonde, eyes wide as you covered your mouth.

"What are you doing?" You asked with panic lacing your tone and Jungeun stared at you, her gaze unwavering as she took your hand in both of hers. "You said we couldn't do this if neither of us will be honest about how we feel, right?" She says with a steady voice and you feel your heart jump at the spark in her eyes.

"I want to be with you. I'm tired of acting like you're just a friend to me when you're so much more than that." Her heart is racing, but her courage doesn't waver as she keeps eye contact with you.

She just needs to know you still felt the same.

"Jungeun, I-" She senses the hesitation in you, even when you don't pull away, and she sucks in a deep breath before bringing your hand against her cheek. Her soft eyes stare at you with so much warmth that it was practically radiating off of her and made you feel warm.

"I love you."

The words are hushed, but still heavy and you feel your own heart skipping a beat when she refuses to let go.

Neither of you have said those three words because it weighed heavily for both of you and you knew that it would change the course of your relationship. But she said it before you even had the courage to admit it to her.

"I love you, too." You murmur quietly, though your eyes quickly glance over her shoulder to see the rest of your members still absorbing what had just transpired. “But what do we do now?” You ask softly and she bites her lip before lowering your hand, though refusing to let go, as she faced your present members.

“I know you have a lot of questions, but before you say anything about Y/n and I, there’s nothing wrong about it and I hope you can respect our relationship.”

There’s a long pause in the practice room and your eyes fall on your leader, a bit more worried about her reaction since she's only just gotten back from her hiatus. But the seriousness of her expression makes your heart sink that you had to hold your breath while tightening your hold on Jungeun's hand.

"Is this true?"

Jungeun nods her head without hesitation as she looks at Haseul and Kahei, though the latter didn't seem too upset, having gotten over the initial shock. In fact, after finally understanding what was happening, the eldest looked almost happy with the announcement. "It took me a while to realize, but I do love Y/n, and I wish it didn't take hurting both of us for me to realize it."

Haseul gave the both of you a good look before her expression eventually melted and she happily walked over to envelope you both in a warm embrace that surprised both of you, but you both accepted it either way, relieved especially when Kahei had joined in, muttering a quiet “I’m so proud of you”.

Heejin came bounding over once your leader let you go and the slightly younger girl nearly knocked you over when she launched at you with a grin on her face. “I’m so happy for you!” She cheered when you caught your balance, forcing you to release the blonde whilst Yerim still stood silently in her corner of the room.

“I knew you were hiding something but this is so amazing!” As Heejin continued to blabber about how happy she was for you, you searched for Jungeun, only to see her staring at the youngest girl present and you soon turned to find Yerim with an unreadable expression on her face.

Though you were surprised that your members were fine and accepting of not only your sexuality, but also your relationship, you were sure that not everyone would be as accepting as others. However, Yerim was like a little sister to Jungeun, so you understood why she was worried with the usually bright girl’s silence.

“Choerry-ah.” Jungeun called softly, but the girl only frowned in response and Haseul looked as though she was ready to intervene if needed as Heejin finally released you with one final squeeze.

“Yerimmie, I don’t expect you to be fine with this, but I hope that you don’t get upset with-”

“You chose Y/n unnie over Soul unnie?” The girl suddenly spoke up and your brows knitted together while Jungeun looked surprised by the question as she waved her hands in the air. “Jinsoul unnie and I weren’t anything!” She clarified, making Yerim’s frown deepened and you were quick to understand where this was coming from.

Jesus, why were your members so extra?

“But I thought you and Jinsoul unnie were my parents.” Yerim protests and Jungeun finally let out a groan before she walked over to the younger girl and smacked her shoulder. “Yah! I really thought you were upset!”

You couldn’t help but watch the two with a smile before Heejin latched onto you one more time. “I know that you might have had a hard time with this, but I hope you know that we’re really happy for you both. And when you plan on telling the others, I’m sure they’ll be just as happy, if not more.” She states and you smile at her words, resting your head against hers. “Thank you.”

“Can I have my girlfriend now? I haven’t held her in a while.” You look up to Jungeun’s pout directed at you and you giggle before lightly patting your friend on the side and then detaching yourself from her to welcome your girlfriend’s arms instead.

Your body melted into her and she let out a small sigh of content as she pressed another kiss to your temple. This was the first time you’ve felt warm again since the fight you’ve both had and maybe, just maybe, this was all really worth it in the end.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #loona #loona scenarios #loona imagines #loona x reader #loona kim lip #kim lip loona #kim jungeun #kim lip #kim lip imagines #kim lip scenario

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gottaread2 · 3 years

Text

Writer's Tag

Replying to this really late but I appreciate it! Thank you @arcanemoody ♡

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

260,971

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. When Only Bitter Memories Remain (690 kudos)

2. Broken (375 kudos)

3. Forget-me-not (286 kudos)

4. 1001 Riddles (252 kudos)

5. White snow, Red Blood, Black Bird (199 kudos)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

In general, I always respond to comments. I figure if someone is kind enough to take time to comment, I'd like to show my gratitude by answering it and thanking them. I appreciate all my readers, but especially those who comment because it often gives me a new perspective on my work and always makes me feel valued as a writer.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, that's a bit of a tough one. Just in terms of angstiest outcome, I'd have to say Edward's Last Word just because it has character death. But in terms of which fic ending personally gave me the angstiest feels, it's Like It Could Last. Likely because I wrote it as a fix-it to season 4's Ed/Lee plot but still didn't give it a happier ending. It's more of an open ending with a bittersweet note to make it canon compliant.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Although most of my stories have happy endings, no contest. It's gotta be 1001 Riddles. No character deaths (not even the villains), Ed gets a family, and there's a marriage proposal.

Do you write crossovers? If so, What is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Not yet. Maybe someday though :)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope. A few unsolicited critiques but never anything I'd call hate.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I'd have to say no. So far I only have one NSFW chapter of a fic and it only exists as a separate work so any readers who don't want it can skip it. Smut holds little interest for me outside of emotional implications and how sex relates to the overall relationship. If I do write any smut in the future, it will likely be similar to what I did before in Heart's Memory the chapter of the aforementioned fic.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Possibly? I got a comment requesting permission to translate Another Chance once, but I'm unsure if it ever happened.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. It's sounds more difficult to me, so kudos to those who do!

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Nygmobblepot!!! They're the first pairing I've ever been this obsessed over. I've gotten obsessed with shows before and even specific characters, but never before a pairing. I finally get what all the hype about shipping is about lol XD

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oof, where do I start? I'm pretty bad about actually finishing my longer fics. I want to finish all of them but not sure when I'll actually do it ^_^' The one I want to finish most is The Devil Went Down to Gotham.

What are your writing strengths?

Coming up with ideas for stories is definitely one of my strengths (and my curse because I can't possibly write them all lol). Also dialogue. I've been told that a few times and it's usually the easiest part for me to write.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Completing long WIPs is definitely a struggle. I also have a hard time with describing background. I always have to go back and make sure my characters actually exist in a space and give enough details to make that convincing. I never feel like I'm very effective at it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

For myself, I use it sparingly if at all. I only speak english and don't feel confident about my ability to write dialogue in another language. If I were to inlcude it more frequently, I'd want to find someone who knows the language to help me with it. That said, I think it's really cool when I read other fics with it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Gotham with my first fic being Riddler's Game. I think my writing has improved a lot since then XD

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

That's tough. They're all my babies. Um... okay so I can't choose just one because it depends on if I'm in the mood for something short or something long (yes I re-read my own work lol). For short, Lie in Wait. I'm a sucker for angst with a happy ending and I really put Oswald through it in this one XD For long, When Only Bitter Memories Remain. I really put so much into this one and am really proud I finished it ^_^ It also contains some of my favorite dialogue and kisses I've written.

Tagging: @fanfarekid, @artemis099, @mordredllewelynjones, @esperata, @thedreamweaver, @cobblepout, (if y'all want to) and anyone else who wants to play! Yes, that means you!

#Tag game #Nygmobblepot

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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years

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Holy crap. Look at Kate Herron's shirt. When the Loki director pops up on Zoom, she's donning the most glorious image anyone will see since we laid eyes on Alligator Loki: A Teletubby wearing the Loki horns. Are the Teletubbies Loki variants? Sure, why not!

"I got it on Instagram," Herron says. "There's an amazing comic book artist and he designed it. He made it into a T-shirt for me because I saw it and was like, 'That's incredible. Can I get it for the press junket?'"

Herron, no big deal, just pulled off an MCU miracle. Entering a mammoth franchise with, notably, some of Sex Education's best episodes under her belt, the director deftly brought a plot involving multiverses and Richard E. Grant in a cape and superhero mumbo-jumbo to brilliant, beautiful life. Following Loki's tear-jerking, mind-bending finale, the series has been dubbed by critics and fan's alike as one of Marvel's best efforts—which is no small feat. Of course, we needed to ask Herron how she stuck the landing. Following the most epic finale you, me, or any Teletubby can remember, Herron talked to Esquire about the Miss Minutes jump scare, filming the finale's introduction of He Who Remains, and why she won't return for Season Two of Loki.

ESQ: How are you doing?

KH: I'm good. I think I feel very relieved that I don't have to sit on the secret of He Who Remains anymore, It was a very big secret to hold, but for an important reason, right? Because it's such a good character to be launching. So yeah, I feel good.

ESQ: Loking back at your old interviews, you have such a good poker face when you're avoiding spoilers, but you're also incredible at giving aggregator crumbs.

KH: I play a lot of board games, so you need to be quite good at strategy and poker faces so people can't always read your hand. So I think weirdly board games have prepared me more for working with Marvel than anything else.

ESQ: I have to start with the Miss Minutes jump scare. What went into the decision to make her a memeable, creepy apparition in that moment?

KH: I love horror, and my executive, Kevin Wright, knew that. Me and him were talking about Episode Six and I remember that he was like, "Oh, maybe you could do something creepy of Miss Minutes." And I immediately was like, "We have to do a jump scare!" Because I haven't got to do a good jump scare in anything yet and I really wanted to, because a lot of my friends are horror directors. I was like, "I can't let them down." So I was really excited to have a shot at doing a jump scare. And Miss Minutes, it was really fun testing it because we'd kind of bring different people into the edit, me and Emma McCleave, the editor, and we'd just play it for them, watch them, and check that they were jumping when we cut it.

ESQ: One thing that I think is getting missed in all the craziness is that we see a peak moment of the love story between Loki and Sylvie. Where does the finale leave the companionship that they found in each other?

KH: When I started the show, that was always in the DNA of it—that Loki was going to meet a version of himself and they were going to fall in love. And that's honestly what drew me into the story, because I directed Sex Education. I love stories about self-love and finding your identity and your people. Loki is such a broken character when we join him, and seeing him go on this amazing journey with all this growth and finding the good points of himself in seeing her—I think that was very beautiful. It's also paying respect to the fact that Sylvie's in a very different place to him. She hasn't had the Mobius therapy session. She even says, in Episode Five, "I don't know how to do this. I don't have friends." You really feel for her because she has been on the run and her whole life has been this mission.

It's almost funny because these characters are thousands of years old, but it's almost teenage the way they both talk about their feelings for each other. I think everyone can relate to that, right? In any new relationship, there's always that kind of awkwardness and like, "Oh God, am I too keen? The important thing was the hope—like when Sylvie and him kiss, I think it is genuine and it is coming from a place of these feelings they have for each other. Obviously she does push them through that door, but for me it was a goodbye and it was with heart. But it's kind of a goodbye in the sense of like, I care about you, but I'm going to do my mission because that's where I'm at.

ESQ: I would pay for you to direct the Sex Education episode where Otis falls through a portal into the multiverse, into the main MCU.

KH: He really looks like a Loki as well, which is so funny. I always thought that. I was like Asa does look like a Loki. It didn't come to pass or anything, but it would be interesting to do a Sex Ed-Marvel crossover. I wonder who all the different characters would be within the MCU, but it would be quite funny.

ESQ: You're right, he could pull off a teenage Loki.

KH: Yeah, like a teen or a very young ’20s, maybe. But it was just funny because I was like, "Oh yeah, he looks a bit like Tom." I wonder how they could do it. I'm sure they'll find a way to do a crossover anyway.

ESQ: Can you just take me back to filming with Jonathan Majors? And you capturing him in such a compelling, quirky, scary way—I'm sure your direction was such a big part of that.

KH: I was just so excited because Jonathan is an actor that everyone was so excited about. He's like a chameleon in everything he does and he's so talented. I just feel as a director so lucky to have worked on this because I feel like I've got to work with some of the best actors out there. And when you're with Jonathan, you know you're in the presence of just someone really magnificent. For me as a director, it's giving him the space to play and feel safe. Because we filmed it all in a week, but it was a lot to film in a week. So I think it was really about creating a space where he could have fun and find this character because he's going to be playing him for a long time.

ESQ: What went into the decision to introduce us to the good guy first?

KH: I remember in the script, he comes up the elevator and it was so casual. I was like, "Oh man, that's so fun." And then Jonathan, when he plays it, he's relaxed. And I the thing he used to talk about a lot was that this is a character who's been on his own for a long time. Because at the beginning, we introduced him in a space in the universe that feels like this very busy, loud place, but actually, when we see the Citadel, he's surrounded by the Timeline and he's very isolated. Even in his costume with [designer] Christine Wada, for the idea of his outfit, he's a character who's existed for multiple millennia. So it's like, OK, let's pull from lots of different places so you can't necessarily pin down which time or which place he might be from. Also the fact that his clothes look comfy. They were like pajamas because he's living at home. He loved the idea of the office [being] the only finished part of the citadel and that the rest of the citadel was like this Sunset Boulevard kind of dusty, dilapidated space. And just again showed that he probably just keeps himself to his office. All those elements definitely fed into Jonathan's performance in terms of balancing the extrovert, but also the introvert of someone that would be living by themselves and only talking to a cartoon clock.

ESQ: It really is incredible how you pull a nail-biting finale with this battle of wits and dialogue.

KH: It was really exciting because I feel like Episode Five was a lot of fun because we got to play into all the joy of the different versions of Loki, but also just the fact that it was our big usual Marvel third act, right? Like it was where our big spectacle was as they were fighting this big monster. But I love that our finale bookends, right? We began with a conversation and we ended with one.

ESQ: I also loved that there was no end-credits scene—I think it makes the ending that much more impactful. Was there ever an end credit scene on the table, or any kind of a stinger?

KH: I think no, because weirdly, we never went after the kind of mid-credit sequences. I think we always just were thinking just of the story and where we knew we wanted it to end. For example, Episode Four, originally Loki was deleted and then we went straight to him waking up. And it was only in the edit I was like, “I think it'd be really cool actually. We should move that scene to mid-credits because then we'll really feel like Loki has died." Because if I watched that moment and then it went to the credits, I'd be like, "What?!" And then when we were talking about the best way to talk about Season Two, we were like, "Okay, well, let's do that like a little mid-credits at the end because that is exciting to confirm it in that way." I'd say we found both of those in the edit just because we wanted to kind of do it right and have a fun nod to something that Marvel does so well.

ESQ: Is there anything you can tell about the future of the story you've told here—or even where you personally would like to go with the studio or otherwise going forward?

KH: Yeah, so I'm just on for Season One. So I'm so proud of the story we told. I mean, it was amazing getting to set up the TVA and take Loki on this whole new journey. And I mean, I think we've left so much groundwork for his character, and as people see in the comics, there's so much more to be delved into. And I just am excited honestly to just see where all the characters go. Like, who is B-15? What did she see in those memories and where did Ravonna go and where is Loki? I think for me, we've set up these questions and I look forward to seeing them being answered as a fan in the next season.

ESQ: Absolutely. Well, can we please work on the Asa Butterfield Loki?

KH: I will call him and I'll be like, "You want to do some crazy Marvel crossover?"

#Kate Herron #loki #season 1 #director #interview

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mwagneto · 3 years

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did u watch the new sex ed yet king

yeah i finished it on tuesday (which is why i was up so late) but I wasn't gonna talk abt it but since you asked;;; i have a lot of thoughts which is why this answer took so long

so uh i already didnt like season 2 tbh? i repressed most of it but at the time i had a loooot of issues with it and it turned me off the show completely, so i only watched s3 out of morbid curiosity but i was mostly hatewatching and man! i did hate it

like without going too deep bc i hate being That Guy, i fucking. hate how they made a show centered around sex and sex lives and education and all of that where half the episodes are sex scenes or sexually explicit and decided to make it about. literal children like 15-17 year olds and i was hoping at least the main cast would be 18 by now but no! still minors! not that being 18 would make this better since they're still kids but holy fuck. like at LEAAASST put it in a university???

also like. NO teacher should be this enthusiastic about the sex lives of their students?? literally what kinda freak grown ass adult sits there and cheers when minors talk abt their sex lives and how they get off and who they want to fuck. literally just like, the entire show is so fucking uncomfortable and weird especially since it's about literal children

i cant pick a worst moment but the part where they had a 10? 12? year old write explicit porn and show it to people, and then the teacher asked her parents if everything was ok since overly sexual behaviour in children is literally one of the most common signs of a csa victim and THEY ACTED LIKE THE PARENTS AND THE TEACHER WERE THE BAD PEOPLE FOR RESTRICTING HER?????? yeah man no. absolutely die

just like overall i get why ppl like it coz the characters are fun? but i have soooo many issues with it and this is just the main one im not even gonna touch on all the other ones coz this is already too long but point is yeah i watched it and boy it was not pleasant

#ask to tag there's a lot going on here #csa mention #anti sex education #for blacklist and i wont post abt this again but pls feel free to ask me to tag anything #i got mail!

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jayjaysocks · 4 years

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Listing my favorite animes (because I’m jumping on the bandwagon)

❗️⚠️ *spoilers!! (Duh)* ❗️⚠️

5. Deadman Wonderland

I was really really sad when I found out this anime got cancelled. The music was fantastic, the animation was really good, and the voice acting was incredible. Even the fucking dubbed version (I loved the voice they chose for Senji. God he was hilarious). I binged this show so fucking fast it wasn’t even funny. I loved watching the characters go through their own struggles and grow as people in the very small amount of episodes provided. There was a lot of development within the snippet that we actually saw, and I was thoroughly impressed with how well it was done. I wanted to scream or something when I found out there wouldn’t be a second season.

Sigh. Oh well. At least we got some of the manga’s masterpiece translated into a show, even if we were missing some fucking awesome characters.

4. Guilty Crown

Ugh, don’t even get me started. This anime was beautiful and I got so invested so freaking quickly. I literally go back every few years to rewatch it because I get ship starved.

Shu and Inori’s story was so beautifully done; between Shu uncovering his courage and Inori’s journey of self-discovery, I was continuously awe-struck and filled with feelings—I mean, I had never felt such raw emotion while watching something and I was completely blown away by the affect it had on me. Anger, hatred, sadness, it was all there (even for the main character lmao) and it was one of the first times I had ever felt a ship so heavily that I literally cried at the end. It was one of the very first Animes I’d ever seen and was one of the reasons I got such a taste for them. Thanks for throwing me down that rabbit hole, GC.

3. Soul Eater

This was literally the first Anime I’d ever seen, and my god I couldn’t have asked for a better starter. What I like about this one is that it’s style is so unique and different. It’s very punk and grunge, something I admired and appreciated in a genre that is normally the opposite (like Guilty Crown, for example). Also the fight scenes were badass, like holy shit just look at that gif ??? Freaking amazing.

I loved the way the show transitioned from light hearted to intense and adrenaline pumping so effortlessly. That can be said about a lot of shows, but this one went from *haha cute show* to *holy shit, like they’re actually gonna die ohmygod howaretheygoingtosurvivethis* so smoothly I was genuinely surprised. They made one of the main villains actually cool and each character had their own beautifully done arc. I loved and adored how the show solidified and expanded on the different friendships/relationships that were involved—specifically Soul and Maka’s (also, holy shit, Stein’s arc? Fucking prime, dude). There was a lot of growth in each and every friendship (CRONA!!!), and that really pushed the viewer to invest in the individual characters.

I am fucking delighted that this was my first anime, and (though the ending was a little anticlimactic) it remains one of my top favorites to this day. It set the bar pretty fucking high, and for that I am extremely greatful.

No one asked for Soul Eater: Not! It is the unspoken sin of the Soul Eater world (then again, it is called Soul Eater: Not!)

2. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

If you have been following me for a while, then you are no stranger to my love of FMAB. Some of my most popular posts are about this anime, and for good reason.

Unfortunately, I was late to the party. I actually didn’t watch this until last year, but got invested really damn quick. I have a tendency to be extremely picky about the animes that I watch/like (which is why NONE of these shows are that recent), to the point that I will literally research them before I start watching (a bad habit, do not copy me). I have an incomparably hard time finishing a show when I start, because I get bored really quickly, but this was an exception. I started watching and I just... didn’t stop. I spent a straight week watching FMAB, gobbling it up during any small amount free time I could manage, and finished it before I even knew what happened. I wasn’t picky about it, I didn’t research it, I just dove right in and gosh, I was not disappointed.

The subtle romance that was alluded throughout the entire show was super cute, the devotion the brothers had for each other was to die for, and the struggles that each person went through was more than moving. I never once found myself bored while watching, and that’s saying a lot for my adhd ass. I was invested in each and every second of that damn anime and I was never, ever left underwhelmed. That probably had to do with the fact that every. Single. Character. Had a purpose. I’m not even kidding. Every single person contributed to the big fight at the end and that alone is fucking fantastic.

Not to mention ALL the women, every female character, was a badass bitch. None of them were reduced to sex appeal or romantic subplot, they all had real feelings, real arcs and real, unadulterated badassery that I thoroughly admired and appreciated. I could watch this anime over and over again every single month and I wouldn’t get bored. Between the emotional struggle, self discovery, and personal development of each character, I promise you will not see a lack of plot or meaning here. The more you watch, the more you discover and that is not a lie. There are so many layers to its story, which only makes me wish I had watched this sooner.

There is nothing I have to offer in the ways of criticism, and for that I couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Hiromu Arakawa, for such an incredible piece of art. You deserve every bit of love that this manga/anime gets. You go girl.

1. Cowboy Bepop

Holy shit holy shit holy shit this anime is so fucking good and it has been my favorite for so damn long. I have been watching anime for years, and while some of the shows in my list have moved around, this one has yet to be bumped down from the top (and I doubt it ever will). There’s a reason it became such a cult classic.

For starters, the animation. I mean, just look at Spike and the way they animate his fighting (yes I am aware that this gif is from the movie, but that still doesn’t change my point). The sequences in the show/film have been reused in many other shows and for good reason. It’s good, incredible, actually and they make him look so badass with just a few hand movements. I was consistently impressed with the way the fight scenes were portrayed and wasn’t ever left underwhelmed or disappointed (or, for that matter, feeling like they completely over exaggerated/overcompensated the scene with huge close-ups and tons of debris and lights). I loved watching this and my heart was always pounding with every intense interaction. I didn’t feel bored during any of the episodes and always found myself laughing when they cracked a joke—pretty much all of their funny lines hit and that’s saying something, dude.

The show, while having a lighthearted surface, has a heavy meaning that you don’t see at first glance. It’s about dealing with grief and loss, and how the characters themselves accomplished that in different ways. The most prominent quote is the biggest indication of its moral “you’re gonna carry that weight”. Basically: ‘You’ve gotta pick up your baggage, because the world moves on, with or without you’. Or ‘You’re going to carry that weight whether you like it or not, because life keeps going’. When I figured out the show’s actual message, while staring at my ceiling in the long hours of the night, I almost cried. This realization brought something entirely different to the table, a new understanding of the show’s characters and overall essence.

The main characters, all of them, had depth. They had real, palpable depth, and even if you didn’t want to care you found yourself seriously interested in their lives. Each of them had relatively shitty pasts. Faye with her lost memories, Spike with Julia and the people who fucked him over, Jet with his old flame and the ISSP, Ed and her/his father... throughout the entire show we got to see how all of them dealt with these things, whether they wanted to continue on with life or not. The way they portrayed it was engaging, because the characters individual, contrasting journeys weren’t repetitive or one note. The beauty that the show holds so achinging close to its core, the layers of grief that the characters are wrapped in so delicately is almost suffocatingly real—because they’re all different. It’s something you discover when you think on the subject in a deeper light, which is another reason why I enjoy it so much. It has both a surface story and a deeper one. You can either take the show at face value or choose to understand the underlying moral.

This show inspired my very first, thoroughly fleshed out OC, and continues to inspire me to this day. It has contributed to my own personal growth, and has helped push me to continue my art and writing. It is beautifully written, beautifully executed and even though some of the episodes seem like filler, it has never disappointed me. I rewatch it all the time because there’s something so infinitely refreshing about the beauty of this anime, whether it be the way we watch the characters develop or the overall moral it portrays. This show has given us a message that is essentially timeless, it can be ‘carried’ through generation after generation, and still have the same impact—something I absolutely fucking adore.

I owe so much to this anime, including my very own artistic development. I discovered it during a really shitty time in my life and I couldn’t have asked for better timing. I will never tire of the bittersweet message or the thoroughly fucking fantastic animation. Everyone who contributed to this masterpiece deserves love, because it’s seriously fucking gold.

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roscoe-me-and-this-fuckin-kid · 5 years

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My Ryden Recs

not in any particular order

The Heart Rate of a Mouse Series (11/10)

~513k words

Ryan "Heterosexual" Ross and his incredibly popular prog rock band, The Followers, start their summer tour for their new hit album "Boneless" in June of 1974. However, Ryan begins to take a shine to their new roadie, the ever mysterious Brendon No-Last-Name-Given, who dodges questions about his past and flaunts his flamboyant homosexuality. After an assault by a member of the supporting act, Brendon and Ryan get their payback, and begin to bond. But much to Ryan's confusion and alarm, he starts to want something he can't let himself have, starts to feel something he can't let himself feel.

--Okay I kinda lied. This list is in no particular order EXCEPT for this one. This one is the best. Anna Green owns my ass. I'm not someone who's picky about first vs third person, but if you are, then just this once throw that out the window and read this utter masterpiece. Ryan's character development throughout is so touching, but my god he fucks up a lot. One of my friends who has gone through the process of buying the physical copies and annotating them says that Ryan majorly fucks up over 50 times. Emotional rollercoaster straight ahead!--

Freaks (7/10)

~45k words

Ryan's face was permanently disfigured when he was 12 years old, and since then, the only person who has ever stood by his side is his best friend Spencer. After earning the nickname "Freak" in high school, he finally accepts that nobody will ever want him, or ever treat him normally again. But after an accident that lands him temporarily in the hospital, he meets Brendon. They get along great, and Ryan begins to fall in love. One small problem though:

Brendon had been recently blinded. Neither of them know if it's permanent, and Ryan is sure that if Brendon knew about his face, he would leave him forever.

--I really liked this one. It makes you sit on edge and every single time you think that Ryan will finally confess and tell the truth, he blue balls you like an asshole. This story is so sad and so sweet, I definitely recommend. Also, there's some background Joncer, which is really cute. Definitely a worthy read if you're looking for some angsty fluff. Oh, and a little aside: the author, spazzyskittles on LJ, actually beta-ed a lot of Anna Green's Ryden fics, including THROAM! So do with that what you will ;)--

The Red Eyed Owl Series (10/10)

~403k words

As one of the best players of one of the best National Hockey League teams, the Chicago Hounds, Ryan Ross has everything he could ever want. Young, famous, and free to do whatever he damn well pleases, the world either wants him or wants to be him. But after a leg injury that could potentially ruin his career, Ryan begins to realise that perhaps he doesn't have everything. Perhaps some things can mean so much more than women throwing themselves at you every chance they get and receiving bottomless drinks at sports bars. Perhaps he could fall in love.

--This was actually recommended to me by @wandering-verses and it was 100% worth the read. I broke out crying in the middle of class during the second book, and I cried again at 3 am when I stayed up all night to finish it. It's one of those that fucks you up so bad that you can't read anything else for a little while after finishing. Now, both the authors are from Spain, so English isn't their native tongue, but it's so well written that I probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't read the notes at the very beginning. An all time Ryden fave.--

Missing In Action (10/10)

~204k words

In where the American Civil War goes differently, the nation once known as the United States of America is instead separated into two: DURA and Beauregia. The latter didn't change much in terms of their economy. Slavery is still legal, and the kingdom is ruled under a tight, Christian monarchy. Their king is Boyd Beauregard. His only son, crown Prince Brendon Beauregard, heir to the throne, resides in the highly respected Saint Francis' Academy. DURA on the other hand developed quickly, a democracy founded on new technology and equitable ideals.

Everyday, bipartisanship seems farther away from grasp, and DURA, realising that cooperation is impossible, creates the DURA investigative bureau. Identifying the crown prince as the Royal Family's weakest link, they realise that he could become an infinitely invaluable asset to them. Agent Ross, under the pseudonym "Ryan Hastings", is chosen to go undercover, enroll in Saint Francis' boarding school, infiltrate the Prince's friend group, and gain his trust by any means necessary.

--I'm ashamed to admit that I let this one pass me by for a while. I read the words "American Civil War" and I automatically assumed that this would be a mid 1800's Civil War fic about closeted gay soilders, and I'm not against that, but the premise didn't really interest me. But once I finally caved and started reading, I quickly realised not only was the premise entirely different, but it was really fuckin' good. Read this!!!!--

Esoteric Contagion (8/10)

~18k words

He wakes up with a note stuck to his forehead that reads, “You traded your memory in a spell. It was worth it.” The note is signed George Ross. He wonders if that’s his name.

In which things are lost and gained and remembered and forgotten, in that order.

--Despite being the shortest on this list, I loved it to death. You will cry so hard, I promise. This story is so sad. The author can deal so many shocking blows in less than 20,000 words, and you will be completely invested. I don't want to spoil anything, but it's massively underrated, and it will fuck you up.--

Two Vatos Locos Series (7/10)

~311k words

When you have your first dream with your soulmate, everything changes. But after years and years of watching all his friends have their dreams and fall in love, Ryan started to wonder if he would ever has his dream. At twenty, Ryan started to get desperate. He went to doctors, therapists, even a fucking palm reader. No one could tell him what was wrong with him. There was only one explanation: his soulmate had to be dead.

Ryan spent endless hours laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, begging, wishing, praying to have his dream and meet his soulmate. One day, with blood gushing down his face and vomit coating his tongue, his prayers were finally answered.

And now, as he stares at this scared, helpless boy, with bloodied rope burns around his wrists and tears staining his cheeks, he wishes that they never were.

--The title "Dos Vatos Locos Lleno de Carnalismo y Inamorates" roughly translates to "Two Crazy Dudes Full of Carnality and Infatuation," which is definitely accurate. I did enjoy this fic; it was cute, sad, and very interesting, but if you are interested in reading, you will need to be patient at times. Some passages seem like filler and the writing in a few places is kinda dry or cringey. But it's still overall a good story though. WARNING: Brendon is underage for most of this fic, but nothing sexual happens until he is of age.--

The Way Home From Nowhere Series (9/10)

~158k words

After his parents find out about his relationship with another boy, Brendon Urie makes a snap decision to flee from his abusive home. After a quick makeover to hide his identity, he decides to thumb a ride. He starts living the life he never even dreamed he could. Talking openly about things like sex, condoms, and homosexuality- he's happier then he's ever been.

There's one problem though.

His new roommates, Ryan and Spencer, have no idea that he is the missing Mormon boy from the nearby town of Summerlin.

--Ladies and gents, welcome to my first ever Ryden fic! This will always be a favourite of mine. Both Brendon's arc and Ryan's are are so heartbreaking, and there were so many times that I wanted to reach into the story and give Dallon a hug. So many tragedies in this story, and not all of them solved. I don't have any empathy for Brendon's parents in this story, but I feel so hard for his siblings, and for Marc. I just wish they knew. This story is so heartbreaking and yet so happy. Will play with your emotions like they're a shiny new toy.--

Filthy Lucre (10/10)

~362k words

Ryan Ross is living the American wet dream. He’s rich, he’s good looking, he gets paid just to turn up at parties and he spends his days drinking, doing drugs and climbing into bed with eager and willing boys and girls. His parents and PA beg him to quit, and his brother turns up his noise at his destructive lifestyle, but Ryan is desperate to sink into the void, escape the memories of what his father's friend did to him when he was fifteen.

Brendon Urie is a man bordering on desperation. He whores himself out to millionaire bankers and CEOs to fund his boyfriend's heroin addiction and pay off his ungrateful father's medical bills. Things could be worse, though. He's lucky enough to have a roof over his head, to be living with the love of his life, to no longer have to hook on the street, but instead be privileged enough to turn tricks in the wealthy circles of Wall Street and Goldman Sachs.

Where a broken boy meets another broken boy, and falls in love.

--Normally, I would never recommend an unfinished fic, let alone fic that hasn't been updated in four years, unless it was it was so good and so engaging that it made me literally scream. Trust me when I say that you have not experienced true hatred until you read this fic. I have literally never hated a character more in my entire life, and I know who Dolores Umbridge is, for reference. The best thing about this fic, in my opinion, is that the characters, whether good guys or bad guys, do evil. And they do it on purpose. Because the characters feel and act as though they're real, and real people fucking suck.--

The Black Rose Season (8/10)

~158k words

Ryan Ross' life is essentially over when his scholarship is inexplicably cancelled and he will be forced to pay his way through school. As a young, broke college student, Ryan is desperate to find cash fast, but to no avail. Just when he thinks all hope is lost, a mysterious benefactor promises to pay his tuition in full, on one condition: Ryan is infiltrate Sigma Chi Beta, the most prestigious and cultish fraternity that Swan University has to offer. And if, by some miracle, Ryan succeeds, his mission is clear:

Befriend Brendon Urie, fellow Swan Sigma, and, more importantly, alleged leader of Sigma Chi Beta's secret society, which might not even exist. He is to document his findings, and send them to his benefactor. One small problem though: Brendon fucking hates his guts.

--Did I mention that Anna Green owns my ass? Because Anna Green owns my ass. This one is so fleshed out, and there are some moments where it really spikes you in the chest. Every time that Patrick comes onto the page, my interest piques, and I remember That One Scene™ that completely changed my perspective of him (You'll understand once you read). Besides... college AU? Secret societies? Betrayal? Enemies to lovers? Sexual tension? Need I say more?--

I have more fics to recommend if you guys like this list, so tell me if you want more fic recs

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caixxa · 5 years

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2, 7, 13 & 28 for the writer asks 📝

Sorry that I have had a hard time getting into answering this! Thank you for the awesome questions.

I’ll put the answers under read more bc it may get long, okay?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Not really, I think. My ideas are not trope driven.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I have many but I’ll share a recent one. As a bonus, you’ll have it in two languages because it is from my translation project. It’s a piece of dialogue, actually. I’m proud of it because I think it is a good, dynamic piece of dialogue that shows the relationship of the characters well and takes the story - the plot being the development of the relationship - a notch forward.

“That whole night, you know… I should never have taken you there. I’ll be fucked if the suits find out. You, the way you are –” he moves his hand to Sebastian’s hair, pets it with his hand – “Your whole generation is so clean and pure. Everybody wants you to be cute and nice. And – just, everything. You’re only nineteen. And you’re Sebastian Aho. Your father would kill me if he knew. I don’t want Harri Aho to send half of Finland out for my head.”

Sebastian lets out a soft laugh and butts his head lightly against his palm, almost like a cat. How great that he wasn’t offended, Veli-Matti loves his sense of humor.

“You won’t even play in Finland next season!” he answers and elbows Veli-Matti’s arm.

“You see?” Veli-Matti elbows him back. ”You don’t even deny that he’d kill me.”

(Midnight in Paris, chapter 2)

–

The original version:

”Se koko ilta… Mun ei olis edes pitäny viedä sua sinne. Vittu jos koutsit tai pomot saa tietää. Sä oot niin…” hän siirtää kätensä taas Sebastianin hiuksille, silittää niitä. ”Sä oot sitä puhtoista sukupolvea. Kaikki haluaa että te ootte söpöjä ja kunnollisia. Ja muutenkin. Sä oot vasta yhdeksäntoista. Ja sä olet Sebastian Aho. Sun faijas tappais mut jos se tietäis. En mä halua että Harri Aho pistää puol Suomea mun päänahan perään.”

Sepe naurahtaa ja puskee kevyesti päätään hänen kättään vasten, ihana ettei se suuttunut, ihana kun sillä on huumorintajua.

”Ethän sä ees pellaa Suomessa syksyllä!” hän vastaa ja tönäisee Vellua käsivarteen.

”Kato nyt.” Vellu tönäisee takaisin. ”Sä et ees kiistä että se tappais.”

(Minä suojelen sinua kaikelta)

–

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Have fun. Just write. The first draft is going to suck, you can always go back and fix it, just get it out of your head. When you’re a bit scared to write it it will be good. Write what you would read. (I don’t know which one of these is the best. Also, don’t draft on paper if you need to get something actually finished, learn to think by writing.)

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Sister_Grimm / @isconnormcdavidok, is an awesome writer and an awesome person. I love the bold grittiness of her stories and the storytelling, and the very hot sex scenes.

ThoseDaysThatWill / @thosedaysthatwill, the same as above, I love the way she creates friendship dynamics and writes dialogue, it’s a great flow of banter that you just have fun reading.

bauer is/used to be one hell of a writer but they (@bauerbump) blocked me on tumblr so if they have some new stuff on some new account somewhere I wouldn’t know. But the back catalogue is well worth reading especially if you like surprising, a bit more complex and darker stuff.

Three is too few! So I’ll share my 3 favorite sepe/teuvo writers too.

kehlee / @svechlly is so good! I live for the updates of inextricable.

itsokaytopretend20 / @itsokaytopretend another amazing person, amazing canes fan, great at smut, even better at gut-wrenching heartbreak.

fauxpunk / @clubhockey has only one hockey rpf Sepe/Teuvo fic on ao3 but it is so amazing you need to go read it.

#asks #answered #fic #hockey rpf #writing

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beabaseball · 4 years

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this is a delirious 11pm post for Adults Only guys

Leave this space, child!

...

...y’all teenagers are going to be tweaked out of their goddamn minds.

Like, not necessarily in the drugged way, though some maybe yes in the drugged way, but like. Specifically in the non-drug way, they’re going to be snippy, and inattentive, and self centered. And that’s probably fine.

Like. Of course teens are self-centered, their bodies are doing weird shit for the first time and people keep making jokes they don’t understand yet, and some of these fuckers haven’t been given sex ed so they don’t even know what’s coming.

The younger teens have just emerged from the child form that has only just started being able to comprehend a larger world. In elementary school, sure I was reading time magazine for kids and we prayed for people who were being reported (religious school; recent tsunami, it happens) and when I was in 1st or 2nd grade we heard rumors that once upon a time women weren’t allowed to do the same stuff as men, but like— you can feel those things, but it’s not really something that you comprehend unless it’s right then a part of your life. I remember the first time I really ‘got’ sexism was in ninth grade in a gym class of 24 boys to 3 + me girls, and I wrote bad poetry about it in my phone for like three months trying to process it.

When I was like 16 our car broke down midway to school and we had to call my dorm parent to come drive me the next 5 mins, and so he’s in a bad mood bc he has to pick me up, and mom is in a bad mood bc car she gets a feeling dorm parent didn’t believe her when she said the car broke down, and it’s like 80 out but more importantly the humidity is a swamp, and I just remember being in his car driving the rest of the way to school and he’s complaining about sunburns bc he’s super pale and Irish, but he’s trying to talk so I kind of say “huh well i’ve never gotten a sunburn. I tan real fast and then go inside and I’m white again.”

and even in the moment I remember being like “that’s not really what he wanted to hear” and I think he even made a face, but I was too out of it and hot and tired to really do anything passed that. And I do feel kind of bad about it? Like, I did not mean to demean his pain of sunburns and I know also that at the time he was having A Rough Time with his marriage, to the point where he had us doing religious plays about parenthood for three seasons straight.

But also, I was a teenager. And looking back I can’t exactly blame my past self for just kinda... saying some words and feeling bad the rest of the car ride but also too tired to care. Theater teacher man wasn’t a bad guy; we were definitely not good at reading each other and he thought musicals sucked, but he also was the one who comforted me out of a panic attack when we had a tornado warning and I ended up convinced my daystudent friend was going to die.

Because that’s what I cared about at the time. Me-related things. Yes, tornado, but I am worried about one (1) person, and that mattered to me. I stayed behind when we got an actual sex-ed person in 7th grade because I was scared that reading yaoi would send me to hell. I had a breakdown in front of my history professor because one of my friends was discovering her gender identity and I was scared I was ‘losing her’ (you know the words!)

Now, someone comes out to me or someone doesn’t understand a term and I’m over here like “yea which definition u wanna use” but back then I was a kid and I had never experienced anything like this before, my hormones were wild—which didn’t mean I was horny and wanted boyfriend, it meant I was in constant fear of bleeding through things and every now and then I would wake up and my body would be in surprise unknowable pain (aka I was finally big enough to cut off my own circulation in my sleep and also growing pains)

Now, I’ve got a lot of that under control. When I wake up with a body in pain I usually know why and probably it is my fault actually. I know a bit better how to get through days when I’m too hot, or too groggy, or just dissociation or mad. (The trick is: say aloud, “sorry if I’m not responding much, I’m just really hot/groggy/out of it/still upset about that.” )

That’s not something a lot of teens have down yet. I saw a kid with a naruto shirt on at work once and I said “hey naruto” and he looked at me like he’d seen the face of god, he was so surprised someone knew what naruto was. To someone even MILDLY in my age range, the idea of not knowing who Naruto is is preposterous. But this was like, 12-15 year old at the most. Not hit his growth spurt yet. Just absolutely blindsided that there was an outside world which recognized something he liked, which I’m gonna wildly guess his parents probably aren’t into or don’t talk about it with him, because the thought of talking Naruto with your kid is horrifying.

Obviously, thinking other people don’t know about naruto is a similar kind of self-centered thought along the lines of “I bet thigh chick isn’t a REAL fan of x” or “EVERYONE has an opinion on me and there is no in between” where like the world... sort of revolves around you.

And like, once that person grows up if they keep that sort of self-focus, that’s usually the time you start trying to ditch them, but even older teens are still just coming out of that larval childhood state. They know a lot more about the world than we probably did at their age—I know a lot of them aren’t having the same existential crisis over their friends’ gender like I did, which is a big ol step— but there are still days that it’s going to be too much new shit to deal with, plus whatever else is happening inside them personally. And it’ll take a while to learn how to handle that.

In the meantime, they might be snappish, or out of it, or just kind of give up and have a ‘fuck it’ attitude sometimes, and it drives a lot of adults just goddamn insane it seems, according to all the mildly aggressive parents at work, trying to get kids who don’t want to be there to give the right reactions. It’s probably not even anything personal to the event that’s making them unhappy. One time I talked to a kid who was crying, and when I got her to tell me what was bothering her, it turned out that some people on her family reunion were mean to her. Nothing about the immediate ‘now’, just a lot of emotion that needed to go somewhere, and that somewhere ended up being crying, and it was not at all about respect or disrespect or anything related to us. Probably most of what was needed was to talk about it (success) and take a long nap.

The first time I remember having a meltdown with a ‘trigger’ like that, I was in 5th grade and my first assignment was something like “what did you do over summer” so I lost my entire shit and cried on the couch for an hour. Passed out, slept til 7, woke up and was fed soup, and have no idea if I finished that paper but presumably I did because I remember a nap and food working.

I would keep having these homework meltdowns periodically, and I don’t know when they stopped, but I had at least one, maybe two, in my first year of college.

And eventually I’ve just kinda.... stopped having them. Stress about a big project wasn’t something that bothered me anymore. You just did it one step at a time, and when you started thinking “maybe I’ll do it in the morning”, you immediately go to bed because you’ve already lost the fight and even if you don’t do it in the morning at least you won’t face it sleep deprived.

It takes time and living to get these experiences, and while one kid might not have the same issues with school work I had, maybe something else just knocks them on their ass every time (same) and it is just. Literally something you need to live through a couple times before you know how to deal with it. You can provide Blank Slate Alien Person with all the mental health tips and anecdotal advice and chamomile tea as you want, but the first couple times they face stress, none of those tips help if they don’t know how to implement them.

If you’ve ever assembled something by instructions and ended up building it upside down—it’s easier to build it again once you’ve gotten mad and undone it and started again. Because you’ve practiced. You already had the instructions, but now you have the experience of building it already, even if the result wasn’t the one you wanted.

Teens are learning a) how to read instructions, and b) that their assembly is probably upside down. and in the meantime, the world is also bonkers wild right now.

When they have that moment of rage, or giving up, or aloofness upon finding shit got built upside down— just. Let them.

You don’t have to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ them for having these emotions, or lack of them.

These are normal reactions. They make sense. All I’m asking is that we understand it’s going to happen. These emotions are going to happen.

Don’t let yourself justify being mean to kids and teens by telling yourself they’re being disrespectful. The world and their lives and emotions also don’t revolve around you. It’s not always a rebellion or reason to fight when things get too high strung to hold total control of.

That doesn’t mean ignore them. I was maybe 12 or 13, and it was 90 on a metal ship, and i was wearing an under shirt because i didn’t have a bra, so two layers of clothes on a hot metal ship, on my period— and all I remember is asking my dad to let us sit down and eat some lunch, because i was dizzy and dehydrated, and all he just kept saying we would do it once he saw the tour. I have no idea how long it was but I probably could’ve cried and been called moody or uncooperative.

Life is difficult. Especially for people who aren’t yet in control of their situations. Who are still bursting out with emotions they can’t otherwise articulate.

Be kind to that.

#long post #ramble #teenagers #kids #teens #puberty #puberty Sucks #especially when the world continues to exist around you #beatext #memories

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iamatpeacewitheveryone · 5 years

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How I became obsessed over the Fab 5

Yass Queen I often heard that phrase on social media Particularly on twitter. I thought that this phrase is a new slang for millennial and gen-z that I just haven’t caught on yet (as most of the slang terms of early 2010s).

Jonathan Van Ness this is the guy that may or may not have started the popular phrase “yass queen” but he sure does use it a lot. When I first saw him randomly on a thumbnail of my recommended youtube video I described his appearance as “gay lord” ( I wanna use “Jesus” but in my opinion that’s disrespectful to my religion). He often is featured on hollywood celebrity channels (which I didnt clicked on that time). I thought that he may be a new emerging star or an old celebrity that I didnt know (bluntly I just didnt care). For me, most starlets that enters hollywood are shallow empty-brain fake people that does a lot of stupid stuff to be relevant. I just didnt care about this gay lord that is making the media go gaga over him.

Big Mouth Im a huge fan of this show. I love cartoons!!! Im 25 year old btw and Idga fudge of what you think about that 🙄. The heart of a child in me just never died 🥳. When season 3 came out I was ecstatic! I finished the whole season in one day and I finished it again the next day and the next day after that. I love the humor. I love the educational information sorrounding teens undergoing puberty, sex ,relationships and gays! I mean Im 25 but Im behind all these things that I should have learned in my teenage years. You know why? Because my country put stigma around sex education thinking that it will encourage kids to have sex. well guess what? With or without sex-ed some kids will still have sex. Anyway in season 3 they included the Fab 5 and I immediately recognized gay lord. I then learned that he is part of a reality TV show and has four other gay guys with him. So after watching big mouth I went on youtube and searched “Queer Eye” and sure enough the fab 5 pop out. The first video that I watched was “Fab 5 takes a lie detector test” . I laughed at their animated quirkiness and after that I watched Queer Eye on netflix right away. Aah!

Queer eye I fell inlove with the first episode. I love how they transformed Tom ❤️ ( I didnt really approved with the styling. Sorry Tan). I love their kind approach to Tom and how they make as simple as going mattress shopping hilarious. I love their relationship. Immediately I fell inlove right away with Jonathan Van Ness’ personality! He is full of gay antics and he exudes so much femininity. He is more of a girl than a gay man. Usually I see gays as men who are feminine (or overly feminine) like James Charles and Jeffree Star. Jonathan is more masculine looking than most gays. He sports beards and does not wear makeup. But for me, he is literally a girl in a man’s body.

Gay + Reality Show I never really thought that I will one day be a fan of gay reality show. First, I never had any gay friends in my circle of friends. Gays and I are like oil and water, we dont blend. Im introverted, Im chill and laid back, and a little tomboyish. Gays most of the time are extroverted, flamboyant, rowdy, sassy, and overly dramatic. Im not saying all gays but most of the gays that I encountered. I like them. I like their existence. Dont get me wrong Im not homophobic. It’s just I like them at a distance. Their personality overwhelms me. So it comes as a surprise to me how I came to love the fab 5. And on a reality TV show? Guuurrlll dont even get me started how much I dislike reality shows especially from hollywood. I see such shows as fake, phony, cheesy, and doesn’t really have any substance in it . I don’t waste my time watching these pretentious shows. But Queer Eye changed that.

I love how the casting is diverse. At least, two out of five people are colored people. As an asian Im so proud of Tan, and happy that he is part of this. Im proud how they bravely shared their traumatic stories of how they we’re outed and abandoned by the people they considered family. How they courageously show their vulnerability. You go Queens!

Religion affected Bobby that he cant even go inside a church. Inspite of this, Bobby had learned slowly to let go of the baggages and make peace with his past. I pray that he will be completely free one day because I believe we can all heal. Bobby is an inspiration for the lost and abandoned. I cant imagine my family disowning me and being out their on my own at the age of 15. Look at him now a very successful interior designer. He gave me hope.

I love how Karamo fought despite of racism and homophobia, and went for the things that people denied him of. Imagine being in a room full of people making you feel unwelcomed? Im so proud of you Karamo. Im happy of all the things you have now.

I love how Jonathan fights the issues and rights that I also believed in. He uses his voice to put awareness over racism, sexism, homophobia, HIV, diversity and hatred (which are mostly Trump supporters. just kidding 😜).

I love how Antoni is passionate with food. I can listen to him talk about food all day. He is also sensitive to other people’s feelings. He is respectable towards other people and sympathetic. He is refined and cultured.

Obsession I became obsessed! The proof is that I started taking care of my self more. Im not lazy anymore with my beauty regimen. I updated my products. SERUM AND SUBSCREEN!!! I floss always now. They inspire me to look fabulous everyday even when Im at home.

I started following them on their individual instagram account. Search them on google, pinterest and tumblr. Dont forget twitter for daily updates. My youtube recommendations are all filled of Queer Eye’s casts. Help me! And if that’s not enough I bought their individual books (audiobooks).

I’ll be giving my review on their individual books next time. Im also learning to use podcast since Jonathan and Karamo has their own podcast channel. Can you believe?

#netflix #big mouth #queer eye #feminism #gay #Jonathan van ness

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kitten1618x · 5 years

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GoT Afterthoughts ep. 08x01 ‘Winterfell’(Part 2)

Okay, well now that I’ve gotten some sleep, let us continue, shall we?

So we left off with the Great Hall sass-fest between Dany and Sansa, who clearly have gotten off on the wrong foot. Not gonna lie, I’m enjoying this jealous, very snappy side of Sansa. Remember when I told you all last season that it would take the threat of Dany encroaching upon what Sansa perceived as hers — her home, her closeness with Jon and her place by his side — for us to start seeing her feelings begin to emerge? Well my friends, I believe its begun, and it’s only going to get worse as the season progresses. Sophie did say that Sansa’s fight this season was a more passionate one...

As for Dany’s reply? I’m sure that I don’t have to tell y’all how highly inappropriate it was. Not that i begrudge homegirl a saucy clapback, but that’s probably not the best thing to tell an entire room full of people who don’t particularly trust you yet, and know how dangerous and unpredictable your dragons are. And let’s not forget that the dragons actually have eaten people before, so it’s really nothing to joke and/or scoff about. For me, it harkens on Jorah’s comments in the season 7 finale regarding why the Dragon Pit was constructed...

“Dragons don’t understand the difference between what’s there’s and what isn’t. Land, livestock, children...”

So for Dany to make such a flippant statement just to get a one-up on Sansa isn’t a very bright move, imo.

We move out into the courtyard where Gendry has taken charge of the task of unloading the stock of Dragonglass. Tyrion watches him from the battlements, and spies Sansa and Lord Royce. Their reunion was always going to be awkward due to the circumstances they parted on, but I suppose Tyrion feels like there’s no time like the present to get it out of the way, and approaches them. Bless Lord Royce for watching out for Lady Stark. ❤️ He leaves only when she indicates that it’s alright.

They exchange some terse pleasantries, and Tyrion learns rather quickly that Sansa is no longer the meek young girl he once knew. While she remains polite, she doesn’t watch her tone nor shy away from saying exactly what’s on her mind. This is her home and he’s on her turf now.

They share a few barbs about the purple wedding and Sansa apologizes for leaving so abruptly. It’s really just a formality, and Tyrion knows it, judging by his reply. Is he resentful that she left him holding the bag? I’m not rightly sure, to be honest, and she doesn’t clarify on the circumstances she left under, either. He wasn’t back in season 4, but people do change, along with their perspectives.

“Many have underestimated you, most of them are dead now.”

Well if that isn’t some kind of ominous foreshadowing shit, I don’t know what is? It’s also the truth, so Team Dracarys beware!

Tyrion attempts to quell the fear he’s certain she must have about the Lannister army coming to Winterfell, and Sansa calls him out for trusting Cersei. He tries to explain that he believes this time is different because Cersei has something to live for now. I know everyone thinks this is a nod to the possibility of Cersei being pregnant — but what if it’s something else? What if it’s her revenge that’s keeping Cersei going? It has in the past... I mean, this is Cersei we’re talking about, and at this point I’m just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks. lol

In any event, Sansa gives a subtle shake of her head and leaves him with some striking words that are sure to cut Tyrion deep in his pride (beings that he ‘drinks and he knows things’ and puts a lot of stock in his own perceived cleverness): “I used to think you were the most cleverest man alive.” Ouch.

My girl is really out here snatching these wigs left and right!

Sansa walks off leaving Tyrion to ice that sick burn... perhaps he can cool it with that frigid stare Bran is giving him from the courtyard below? Methinks something is amiss, and methinks Bran is gonna be pulling the receipts soon. Either way, it’s hard not to be a little freaked out by Bran, and Tyrion certainly looks the part here.

We move to the Godswood where Jon stands alone before the heart tree. He looks upset. I mean, he is Broody McBroodster and all, but what’s got my precious snowflake son so pensive? He did manage to secure ‘the greatest army the world has ever seen and two large dragons’ after all, and (supposedly) spent the last month ‘balls deep’ in his auntie D, so what could be troubling him? How long do you guys have? lol AND WHERE THE FUCK IS GHOST?

Arya sneaks up on him, telling him he used to be taller, and my heart just grew three times its size. 💗 They lunge into a hug reminiscent of the first season when they parted ways as young, naive Starklings, and dear lord, either I’m the grinch who stole Christmas, or I better call a cardiologist!! Jon even squeezes his eyes shut and looks like he’s fighting back tears! Gahhhhhhhh!!!!!

Of course Jon sees that Arya still has Needle. He asks if she’s used it yet, and she... omits the truth. For whatever reason, Arya isn’t ready to share this part of herself with Jon yet, and it makes my heart hurt so much for her loss of innocence. AND THESE MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER LEAVE MY REMAINING STARKLINGS ALONE IS2G!!

Jon shows off Longclaw, and jfc, these two dorks look so cute with their matching Ned Stark hairdos and their dramatic-ass eyebrows, here beneath the heart tree in Winterfell, and ahhhhhhhh! Okay, okay, I’m done gushing... for now.

Anyway, shits about to get a little weird here... Jon gestures with his hand then bends down, placing that hand on Arya’s shoulder and pulls her in as if he’s about to share a secret and asks where she was before, ‘cos he coulda used her help earlier with Sansa. I say weird because that’s the vibe I got, especially when Arya physically turns her head to look at his hand when he places it there, like she’s onto him or something. She even knows exactly what he’s referring to when she states very matter-of-factly, “she doesn’t like your Queen, does she?”

It’s all very condescending (and cut me some slack, because I’m not even sure that’s the right word here) — but his mannerisms, the way he sort of mocks Sansa about thinking she’s smarter than everyone, then seems taken aback when Arya defends her—when Jon, himself, knows damn well that Sansa is quite smart, and has even said so.

I was ready to climb into my tv and box Jonathan’s ears until it dawned on me just how isolated he must feel right now. The man has literally given up everything for what he holds most dear: his family and the North, only to be met with disappointment from those he cares the most about. And yes, especially Sansa, whom he constantly seeks validation from. His brooding in the Godswood makes a bit more sense now, as does his need to get his old confidant ‘sibling’ on his ‘side’—however immature it may be.

I could be wrong, of course, but my opinion only solidifies when Arya tells him that Sansa is only defending her family, and Jon suddenly drops the act and replies softly, “I’m her family, too.”

With a small smile, she pulls her needy validation-seeking big bro back in for another hug and tells him, “Don’t forget that,” as the camera pans back on Jon’s face and we see the emotional impact her words have on him as he squeezes his eyes shut.

We cut to Kings Landing where Cersei watches the arrival of Euron’s Fleet. Qyburn brings her the news that the AotD have broken through the wall, as to which she replies with an emotionless, “Good,” before we cut to Euron sharing words with the commander of the Golden Company.

He goes below deck to taunt Yara a bit — ‘blah blah blah, and balls and first I’m gonna fuck the queen.’ And I do love Euron, and I don’t know why, but he talks way too fucken much and doesn’t really say much of anything.

Cersei receives them in the throne room and is very disappointed that the Golden Company didn’t bring the elephants she was expecting. She dismisses them, but Euron has other ideas (as he expressed to his niece earlier on the ship). Cersei basically tells him to piss off with an excellent quote if I may say:

“If you want a whore, buy one. If you want a queen, earn her.”

But she’s not the only one prone to manipulating situations, and I get the feeling she knows that Euron’s loyalties are sketchy at best — and so we are given the impression that she relents, when she turns back, and Euron makes it past the Mountain unscathed.

Now we’re in Bronn’s room—whom I guess has taken up residence within the Red Keep? He’s about to get his 4-way on, but the girls keep chatting on about the Lannister soldiers that were maimed by Drogon in the field of fire 2.0 — specifically Eddie, a ginger boy who’s eyelids were burned right off. I assume this was one of the young boys Arya met on her way to kill the queen before she changed her mind? Probably Ed Sheeren.

Arya is not going to be happy about this.

Qyburn interrupts this tepid display of GoT sex (still hotter than floppy chicken sex) with a special request from the queen. He’s got the crossbow Tyrion used to kill Tywin, and a mission for Bronn. Will he carry it out? Change sides? Is this possibly how the kidnap!plot unfolds (for those of you who have considered it)? Only time will tell.

And speaking of such — I’m only 30 minutes into the episode and this has gotten looooooong again. Have I always been this long-winded in my recaps?

I’m gonna go ahead and publish this since it’s already a day late. Maybe I’ll have the whole recap finished before the new episode airs?! KIDDING! But seriously, I’m sorry guys... battling illness myself with sick kids and I’m trying here, I swear!!

#got afterthoughts #part 2 #got s8 #jonsa #political!jon #anti jonerys #anti targaryen restoration #anti daenerys #(not really but just being safe)#melissa rants #long post

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bbclesmis · 6 years

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The inside story of the BBC adaptation of Les Misérables... by the man who sexed up War and Peace

On a summer’s morning in a park outside Brussels, one of European literature’s most wretched characters is having a laugh. In Victor Hugo’s gargantuan 1862 novel Les Misérables, the naive young Parisian seamstress Fantine is dealt a rotten hand: she loses her wealthy boyfriend, her daughter, her job, her hair, her two front teeth and her life – all within the book’s first act.

If you are one of the 130 million people to have encountered Fantine in the world-conquering stage musical (or 2012’s big-screen incarnation of it, in which Anne Hathaway enacted the character’s misery through an Oscar-winning outpouring of tears), you will know her as a figure of abject tragedy.

Yet here she is in the Belgian sunshine, as played for the cameras by Lily Collins – the 29-year-old daughter of musician Phil – bonnet off, flirting on the lawn with her lover, Félix (Johnny Flynn), while her giggling girlfriends lark about on a swing, like a Fragonard painting come to life.

In her pale empire-line dress, hair plaited with flowers, she looks almost bridal: untroubled and in love. Later this month, you’ll have a chance to meet this unfamiliar Fantine for yourself, in the first episode of the BBC’s lavish new six-part series. With a screenplay by Andrew Davies, it attempts to show us an aspect of Hugo’s classic we’ve never seen dramatised before; one that is, well, less miserable.

Until last year, the director – 50-year-old Tom Shankland, best known for the lost-child drama The Missing – was ‘one of those few people in the universe who didn’t know much about the musical or the film’, he says. But after receiving Davies’ screenplay, he plunged into the novel and found a story bristling with ‘so much life and drama and violence and tragedy that the label “costume drama” just can’t contain it’.

Setting out to make a version that would ‘bring a level of 21st-century psychology to the realm of 19th-century melodrama, keeping one foot in then and one foot in now’, his spiritual guide would be David Lean, who, in cinematic masterpieces such as Lawrence of Arabia, proved ‘so brilliant at judging when to be intimate and when to be epic. I think that was always going to be the game with Les Misérables: how not to lose our heroes against this vast historical canvas.’

It’s day 79 of the 89-day shoot and sitting in front of a monitor – headphones clamped to his ears, an approving smile on his face – Davies is the first to admit to being no fan of the musical. ‘I hated it,’ he tells me, ‘couldn’t bear it.’ Yet when he first read Hugo’s book six years ago, he was struck by a sophistication that, he felt, no adaptation had come close to capturing.

In the sprawling saga, set in a nation discombobulated by Napolean’s defeat at Waterloo, Davies says he found ‘such a lot of resonances with our time now. There are the haves and have-nots, the extreme strata of society in terms of riches and poverty. I thought how good it would be to show that on television.’

At the moment we join the narrative, in 1815, he says, ‘France thought it’d had a revolution, now it’s got a monarchy again and it’s back to the bad times. So while people like Fantine can have fun for a bit, they are always in danger of dropping through the cracks. There is no safety net, no welfare state. If you take one wrong step, you’re f—ed, basically.’

To anyone else, the prospect of reducing Hugo’s 1,500-page leviathan to six hours of primetime drama would have been daunting. But to Davies – who, at 82, is British television’s undisputed doyen of the literary adaptation, as the brains behind such memorable series as 1995’s Pride and Prejudice, 2005’s Bleak House and, in 2016, War & Peace – it was an itch that just had to be scratched. ‘I felt it had never been done properly before,’ he says. ‘But then I always think that. “Hmmm, you need my version of it.”’

His first step towards reclaiming the story from the musical (‘a very partial version of the book, more concert than drama’) was to introduce the viewer to Fantine not when she is plummeting into the abyss, but, as Hugo does, before she has the slightest inkling of her fate. ‘As for Fantine, she was pure joy,’ writes the author early on. ‘Her magnificent teeth had clearly been given her by God with one purpose only, and that was to laugh.’

During a break in filming, Collins, towelling dressing gown now slung over her dress, tells me she spent her childhood summers in Switzerland (‘where I would dream in French’) and begged the filmmakers for an audition the moment she heard the project was in the pipeline – with Davies’ emphasis on this happy phase of Fantine’s story part of the appeal. Not only did it free her from the spectre of Hathaway’s portrayal, it also deepened her sympathy for the character. ‘Because you get to see just how in love she was with Félix; it heightens the heartbreak.’

The result contributes to a telling of Les Misérables that the bullish Davies suggests may rank as ‘the most psychologically satisfying version there has been so far of the book’. Having set out to improve upon the musical, he now finds himself wondering if, in places, he’s also surpassed the novel. ‘We tell Fantine’s story more fully than I think Hugo did,’ he says. ‘We’ve explored the Javert and Jean Valjean relationship more deeply, too.’

If Fantine is the book’s emotional heart, then the intense cat-and-mouse struggle between Jean Valjean – the convict who serves 19 years’ hard labour for stealing a loaf of bread before rehabilitating himself as the mayor of Montreuil – and Inspector Javert, his jailer-turned-stalker, is its moral centre. While the lawman is a monstrously rigid incarnation of the unbending principles of justice, Valjean, who works his way back from brutal to beatific, represents the possibility of grace.

As Javert, David Oyelowo, the British actor who made his name in BBC drama Spooks and forged a Hollywood career with such acclaimed performances as Martin Luther King in Selma (2014), was the first cast member to sign up for the new Les Misérables, on which he also served as executive producer.

‘Partly why I really wanted to play Javert is that, having read Andrew Davies’ script and then the book, he remained enigmatic to me,’ Oyelowo says, speaking over the phone from his Los Angeles home about a character often dismissed as more archetype than man.

‘I didn’t see him as a simplistic villain, but as a very complicated human being. I felt there was a lot of work for me to do in order to explain some of what one might call his malevolence, his drive, his ambition and especially his attention towards Jean Valjean. I found something primal in his fastidious, continuous, inexorable need to get hold of this man.’

Back on set in Belgium, I spot that man – or at least the actor who plays him, Dominic West – loitering in his breeches outside Vilvoorde prison. With its brick-vaulted ceiling and cracked paintwork, the abandoned 18th-century building south of Brussels is an atmospheric kind of place. Shankland says it has a ‘melancholic aura’; a production assistant says it smells of ‘dead rat’.

Inside, in a recreation of the book’s Montreuil bead factory, Collins’ Fantine is sitting with her fellow grisettes (among them Lily Newmark and Erin Doherty) at long wooden tables strewn with black beads, waiting for make-up designer Jacqueline Fowler to give them the once-over. This seems to involve her making sure they haven’t washed behind their ears. ‘I like to see sweat,’ she explains afterwards. ‘And neck hair. None of the girls have make-up on today; it’s a very natural, realistic look.’

Later, the costume designer Marianne Agertoft says that she, too, favoured a pared-down style, so historical pedants had better beware. ‘We’ve kept bonnets off the women quite a lot of the time, even at moments when they would have worn them then,’ she tells me. ‘Why? Because they can very much get in the way.’

Outside, West (also an executive producer), who slotted in Jean Valjean between shooting seasons four and five of American melodrama The Affair, admits he found Tom Hooper’s 2012 film of Les Misérables so ‘bloody awful’ that he walked out of the cinema before it had finished. So when he was first approached for the new series, he hesitated. ‘I thought, “It’s a musical, it’s been done, we’ve just seen the film and why do it again?”’ he explains, while Fowler (previously seen applying her make-up brush to the abs of Poldark’s Aidan Turner for his notorious topless scything scene) attends to his stick-on sideburns. ‘Then I read the book and it just knocked my socks off. Best thing I’ve ever read.’

West is similarly enthused by his character, whom he describes as ‘the greatest superhero in literature, a strongman who spends the whole time rescuing children and saving entire communities’. He treasures Valjean as an anomaly in television drama: a public servant celebrated as a figure of high moral standing. Isn’t it also pretty rare, I suggest, for West, a 49-year-old Old Etonian who sealed his reputation playing a morally dubious Baltimore cop in The Wire, to be the good guy? ‘It is,’ he says. ‘I’ve played a lot of villains and I don’t want to do it any more. [Portraying] Iago and Fred West in one year was annihilating. To live with Valjean, as I have for six months, is invigorating: it opens your soul.’

Oyelowo acknowledges that there will be those surprised to see him cast in ‘the kind of role which, to be perfectly frank, even 10 years ago probably would not have been afforded me’.

Born in Oxford in 1976 to black Nigerian immigrants, he says, ‘Something I have found problematic with period drama over the years, in terms of what we have done in Great Britain, is to deny just how long people of colour have been part of the fabric of British life – and European life as well, as it pertains to Les Mis.’

To those viewers who struggle to reconcile him with Hugo’s ‘slimy spook’, Oyelowo would say, ‘I am sure a lot of French people think it’s not right to transpose Les Mis on to British culture, which is what we’ve done by having the characters speak English and talk in London or posh English accents. But if you are going to make something that doesn’t stink of mothballs, you’d better be speaking to the world that we live in. And I think the show that we have cultivated absolutely does that.’

For all that the series strives for contemporary relevance, it also remains an epic feat of historical reconstruction that required a roving six-month shoot across Belgium and northern France, a principal cast of more than 100 (which also includes Olivia Colman and Adeel Akhtar as the dastardly innkeeping Thénardiers, and Sir Derek Jacobi as the irreproachable Bishop of Digne), a tapestry maker, a horse handler and 3,000 extras.

For producer Chris Carey, the high point of the process – its literal pièce de résistance – was the episode at the barricades, inspired by the 1832 French uprising which, in Hugo’s words, ‘turned the centre of Paris into a sort of colossal, impenetrable citadel’. To shoot those scenes, says Carey (whose last production was the thriller Apple Tree Yard), ‘We used a real street in a real French town, Sedan in northern France, which looks how Paris looked pre-Haussmann. And we blew it up over the course of two or three weeks. You can imagine the complications of keeping the town happy and on side when you are running through the streets at 5am with bayonets and cannon firing.’ I can also imagine such an operation burning through the kind of budget of which most BBC dramas could only dream. ‘You can’t do that stuff on a shoestring,’ concedes executive producer Faith Penhale, ‘but I won’t tell you a figure.’

West gives a less guarded assessment. ‘In terms of American budgets, this is nothing. This whole series is probably costing less than an American pilot would cost,’ he says. ‘We do these things very cheaply, which is not a good thing… For what we have to do, it’s peanuts.’

Does he in turn receive a significantly smaller fee for a drama like this than for something like The Affair? ‘I couldn’t possibly tell you,’ he says. Perhaps because they’ve blown a sizeable chunk of the budget on the services of a certain Mr West? ‘No, they have not,’ he yelps, before offering an answer to my previous question: ‘Yes, I do, very much less.’

If money is in relatively short supply in Les Misérables, then so too is sex. One of the most curious aspects of Hugo’s book is that, although it was written by a man known for his erotic appetites (it is said that on the day of his funeral, on 31 May 1885, the brothels of Paris pulled down their shutters as a sign of respect to a valued client), sex scarcely gets a look in. ‘It’s odd,’ says Davies. ‘We had this sudden realisation when talking about it that both Javert and Jean Valjean appear to be virgins.’ You might have assumed that Davies, who has long since had a reputation for sexing up the classics, would set that right – he is, after all, the man who injected incest into War and Peace and whose Pride and Prejudice planted the image of Colin Firth’s Darcy in a figure-hugging wet shirt in the nation’s consciousness – but no.

‘I don’t have to have sex all the time in things,’ he laughs. ‘I’m an old gentleman now.’ And indeed, although Fantine is taken to bed by Félix more than once in the first episode, their scenes together are characterised by a coyness that borders on prudery. In fact, the only real nudity to speak of in the drama’s first hour – which opens with jaw-dropping aerial views of the battlefield of Waterloo, a grim patchwork of uniformed corpses and dead horses – is a disarming shot of Valjean’s bare bottom. ‘Yeah, when I leave prison I get stripped off and thrown my old rags, so we thought it was a good excuse to get my ass out – somebody did, anyway,’ West tells me with a wolfish grin. ‘Let’s hope they can CGI it all right.’

Talking of ideal forms, before I leave the set I ask Davies if at any point in the process he felt the story of Les Misérables had already found its perfect expression in Hugo’s pages, and that the act of wrestling it on to the screen was always doomed to feel like a succession of compromises? ‘No,’ he says, with unwavering confidence. ‘It’s just finding its perfect medium now. If TV had been around at the time Victor Hugo wrote, I believe he would have made it as a six-part television show.’

Les Misérables starts on 30 December, at 9pm, on BBC One

Benjamin Secher, The Telegraph, 08.12.2018

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #Interviews #Lily Collins #fantine #david oyelowo #javert #dominic west #Jean Valjean #Andrew Davies

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