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daisys-reality · 4 months

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── ☔ꜞ˖ ꒰ 𝙿𝙰𝙲: 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 ꒱

Hello my fellow shifters, here is your ☔ reading which you've voted for!

Do you want to know why all of this is exactly happening? Do you want guidance and answers because you want to know where you’re standing in your shifting journey and how to move forward? What are you heading towards exactly? I’ll try to find answers to such questions for you in this reading. Choose a picture and enjoy your reading!

Also check out my masterlist if you want! Fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, they're all from pinterest. 🤍

──

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To develop your creative force, to be more daring and to follow your passion and ideas, to make you follow your dreams, to trigger growth, to give you a spark for new beginnings, to recover the joy of life/the magic of life

To give you strength in trying times (mental/health struggles, feeling rejected by this world, feeling lonely and not understood, …), to help you endure those almost impossible trials in your (cr) life, to help you stay resilient, to strengthen your resolve and faith

To evoke a nostalgia for sweeter times, to find your innocence again, to connect with specific people/souls, some people want to connect with you, to strengthen your connection with spirituality/the world of spirits, to go on adventures and partly to re-experience childhood especially if you felt like you missed out a lot in your younger years, to experience love/soul connection in other realities

This message only applies to people with specific spiritual beliefs: if you feel like you have a specific purpose in this life, it might actually be a major purpose for which you need to be strong, that’s why you experienced so many hard lesson in your life until now, shifting is there to make your experience in this reality a little bit easier/enjoyable, to give you strength to keep going because there is something great waiting for you, for some it feels like an exceptionally strong soul connection (!!), for some of you it feels a bit like a so called “twinflame” connection that is finally tuning into the same frequencies in this human life/reality - if you believe in this type of connections

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

To learn to connect with yourself and your emotions on a deeper level, expressing yourself wholly and authentically with youthful purity, to learn to love yourself and other as well as learning to enjoy your experience here and in other places/realities, to make use of your sensitivity and to develop your own spiritual beliefs, to just have fun and to let things happen to you, no one and no thing(reality) is bigger, better or more important than you - there is no hierarchy, there is no specific worth you need to have - you are able and “allowed” to experience anything you desire whether it is true love, freedom, adventure, joy, comfort or just silly romance. No one is deciding above your head on what you may or may not do in this universe. It's important that you understand this. (Connecting, loving and expressing/communicating seem to be very significant here in general)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

Disclaimer: ‘Future’ is a loose word and time is not really real anyways. So, everything that is not the ‘present’ or the ‘past’, represents the future. ‘future you’ can be you in a second, you after reading this or you in a week etc.

‘Future you’ embodies the queen of swords energy. ‘Future you’ is strong and knows it. You will know that you're protected, you will be fearless and fierce, unbiased and independent. You will stay calm and open minded while still being firm (not accepting less than your ‘goal’, firm boundaries + direct communication), not giving in because ‘future you’ knows that it’s only fair that you succeed - you’re meant to succeed, you’re meant to shift. You’ll see your situation with open eyes, mind and heart, remaining positive and not losing hope. Your insights will make your beliefs stronger, therefore your faith will become also strong and unwavering. You. Will. Shift. Periodtt.

Advice for you right now:

Keep looking and acknowledging the signs around you, focus on recovery (your health, your energy etc.), forgive and fully release your past. be in the present moment and be free.

Timing: “Create space (in your mind, life etc.) for it to happen sooner”, “Release any attachment to timing”, “Time is still unknown” (the energy is mutable)

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝚆𝙾

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To learn/practice long term commitment, to become more determined in life, to learn how to complete a “project”, to be decisive

To awaken the power of self, to build balance, to find your inner beauty and learning to appreciate it, to build your self-esteem, to give you the ability to see a future for yourself

To understand the spiritual nature of life, to develop your intuitive abilities, and your grace in dealing with others

To increase your knowledge and wisdom, to learn to listen to your subconsciousness, to get encouraged to form your own conclusions, to recognize your vast yet subtle powers, to become a mystery in the eyes of others

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

Learning more about spirituality and other spiritual beliefs and practices, finding your joy in those things, learning about & developing your new spiritual gifts or abilities, getting closer to spirit world

Learning how to make use of your emotions/feelings and your compassion, learning how to be more receptive to creative opportunities and loving connections, and to be more deeply compassionate for other living beings

Creating the start of a new life and a new version of yourself

Learning and practicing self reflection, making important decisions for yourself and about yourself (ex. who do you want to be, etc.)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

‘Future you’ knows that your life will drastically change and there is no going back, the change is necessary. ‘Future you’ went through a metamorphosis and is embodying the ‘king of swords' energy combined with the energy of volcano deity Pele. Your power will be enhanced by your wisdom. ‘Future you’ is wild and free, capable of anything, patient and persevering. ‘Future you’ knows exactly what to do to succeed. ‘Future you's’ approach to shifting will be very structured and disciplined, while your mind force (will power + confidence) will be wild and uncontrollable like an explosion or the eruption of a volcano. ‘Future you’ cannot be held back, shifting is inevitable at that point.

Advice for you right now:

Reconsider your current mindset one more time, spend time reflecting and ask for help from others, perhaps communicate your current ideas/plans with someone close to you to gain another perspective, communicate clearly (specifically with yourself), focusing on romance might have a positive influence!

Timing: “When you’re truly ready for it”, “Don’t lose hope”, “Create space (in your mind) for it to happen sooner” >prepare the metamorphosis<, “Gain more knowledge/wisdom”, “Meditating brings answers”

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴

Why were you meant to find shifting? What is your (higher) reason for finding shifting? (for personal shifting reasons, please check out my other pac reading)

To have the opportunity to fulfill all your many dreams and aspirations. You might have so many that you wouldn’t be able pursue them in “just one normal life”

To stop procrastination and to choose and go after the things you desire in life

To learn to differentiate between “illusion and reality” especially in regards to what you really want to experience and what you think you want to experience… some opportunities can often lead to a major disaster (if you’re someone who romanticizes dangerous realities… shifting there might not be the best idea, buddy)

to leave seemingly good things behind in the pursuit of higher ideals, to go deeper into introspection and starting to seek the truth and to come to realizations about yourself and about life/universe etc.

Major theme in your journey: Learning something specific?

(This is very specific and only relates to those who have special s/o:) Going through a rocky connection with someone who is probably from another reality and going through all these feelings/moods/longing in this “long distance connection”... I feel like this is about one specific person and you developed feelings for them..? Even though you’re pretty much opposites, you complement each other well and I think you feel this too… Learning how to love healthily is a theme in your journey…even ideal relationships still face difficulties, right?

Learning how to create a stable lifestyle/mindset and to actively be thankful towards yourself but also for the things you have gained and experienced and to cherish them and the people who support you

Your shifting journey is the built up to your happily-ever-after (your reunion with someone specific and the start of many happy moments)

The difference between you right now and the you in the ‘future’ that finally succeeds (shifting)

‘Future you’ is grounded, down-to-earth and very practical and organized. They are always on the move, improving, perhaps even teaching others, sharing their experiences and realizations. They are starting to be very secure in their beliefs and they are eager to travel the universe. Also, they feel abundant in energy, they are very self reflected and therefore overall balanced and stable in their home/cr life. ‘Future you’ acts very motherly towards themself - pushing themself when it needs to be and taking care of themself when they need a rest. ‘Future you’ does not lose their temper when things go ‘awry’, they always keep moving steadily towards their plans/goals

‘Future you’ overcomes the procrastination and follows their passion with much force. They are not scared of what is to come because they are so secure within that they feel comfortable enough to be daring in the pursuit of their goals.

Advice for you right now:

You might have to change your focus right now or rethink your current plans - there is another path that leads to more big happy changes. Always remain positive, don’t stop or procrastinate - take action!

Timing: “Refocus and stop waiting for it”, “Trust that it will happen when the time is right”, “Summer time” (- perhaps in 2 months from now? August could be lowkey an important/happy month for you and your journey…)

Thanks for reading!🤍☔

──

#pac reading #t.tarot #shiftblr #shifting #desired reality #manifesting #t.shifting #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #tarot reading #࣪ pick a card𓈒 𐙚

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a-certain-romance · 2 months

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Can’t Help Falling

Characters/Ships: gn!reader x Yae Miko, Lisa, and Jean (separate). Pre-relationship for Miko’s part

A/N: Sorry to have kept this ask in the dark for so long D: the fluff was super fun to write!!

“You are like a walking fire hazard”

You wince at her harsh comparison, though she does have a point. The Narukami shrine is just so tall and steep, you can’t help but trip every now and then walking to and fro. Not that it’s much different when you’re on flat ground.

“You have a perfectly shaped fox tree yet you can’t have the trail be paved?,” you argue, right before you lose your footing and slip. Miko’s reflexes were fast enough to catch you at the very last second before you could tumble to the ground. Her arms circled your waist as if she were dipping you in the final moments of a couples dance.

“Oh now this feels familiar,” She taunts. “Are you intentionally using light novel tropes against me to gain my attention?” Her eyebrow raises, and you begin to feel smaller under her gaze. “You really don’t need to try that hard” she tsks before setting you back on your feet.

You awkwardly apologize before standing up straighter. “It won’t happen again.” She only hums in response, walking past you. “Come along now,” she beckons with a swish of her tail, “it’s going to take more than a simple cliché to win me over.”

“Oh hi cutie~”

Lisa’s lazy smile brightens at your entrance into the library. She’s sitting at a table with Razor across from her, books and loose papers spread out in nearly placed sections.

“Razor, don’t you want to say hi?” She asks. Razor remains seated on his side of the table. “They have bad luck, like Bennett.” He says bluntly, but nods anyways.

Lisa snorts, and your face flushes in embarrassment. “I’ll come find you when we’re done.” She turns back to Razor, a fond smile playing at her lips now that she knows you’re close by.

Unlike your other visits to browse the isles or talk with Lisa, you were on a mission. You needed a book. One that of course you realized was sitting on one of the top shelves— taller than you could ever reach. Maybe Razor’s comment held some truth. Deciding you didn’t want to interrupt Lisa’s one-on-one time with the wolf boy, you set a nearby ladder against the shelf and began to climb.

“I’m all finished with Razor if you still wanted to chat—“ her voice catches you off guard and you quickly lost your balance. The ladder falls and you go with it. But instead of hitting the hard flooring, you fall into something much softer. A sigh of relief escapes your lips but it’s quickly replaced by a loud yelp.

An electro shock runs through your body that only Lisa’s narrowed eyes can explain. “Darling, if you need my help please just tell me. I’m here for you, all you need to do is ask.” She ruffles your hair fondly. “Let me move this ladder and then we can have our regular tea break, okay?”

“Jean, I think you should carry the basket.”

A picnic at Windrise was just what you both needed. You were always one to encourage Jean to take more days off, and a nice lunch in nature was the most idealistic experience you could think of. But in retrospect, the idea seemed much better in your head. You’ve already lost count of how many times you stopped yourself from falling down to the grassy terrain.

Next to you Jean laughs and stops to hold out her hand; you grasp it and she leads you up to the base of the large tree. “I think you’re more than capable of carrying this basket dear. But if you insist,” she takes the basket from your hand and guides you over the roots. With her by your side you had faith that your clumsiness would not win out this time.

That is until your foot caught on a root, sending you into her arms as the picnic basket drops to the ground.

“Please be careful around here. One wrong move and you’ll wind up with a twisted ankle.�� Her face carries some worry as she sets you back on your feet.

“You caught me and dropped the basket?” You ask, a small chuckle escaping your lips. She shakes her head, “I’ll always be the one to save you.”

“My knight in shining armor~”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #yae miko x reader #yae miko imagines #lisa minci x reader #jean gunhildr x reader #jean x reader #🫀

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coraniaid · 3 months

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The scene where Willow confronts Faith is Choices is kind of fascinating to me, because ... well.

I like Choices quite a lot, and I think Willow's dislike of Faith is perfectly understandable and in character (and her speech has some fun but probably not intentional foreshadowing for later seasons), but it's hard not to notice that the narrative expects you to be rather more unambiguously on Willow's side than I think is really warranted.

I mean, Willow might not have been the most popular girl in high school, but she has multiple close friends, a nice boyfriend, a stable [and fairly comfortably middle-class] home life, she "represents the pinnacle of achievement in Sunnydale High" in the words of her school's principal, she's trusted enough to teach at the school, in a year she'll be able to go to any college she wants (and, unlike some people, she can afford to go anywhere she wants), she used to hack into government computer databases (before she ever met Buffy!) and now she's teaching herself dark magic "for fun" and she hasn't [yet] ever suffered any real repercussions for either of those things.

On the other hand, from what little we hear about Faith's past we know she grew up poor and that her mother used to get drunk and beat her, that she didn't have any friends and dropped out of high school young, she is very strongly implied on multiple occasions to have been the victim of some pretty horrific abuse before being called as a Slayer, and after being called as a Slayer she got to watch the one adult who ever told her she mattered get killed horribly in front of her before fleeing across the country to a town where she doesn't know anybody, still has no friends, doesn't have a job or go to school and lives alone in a motel in the bad part of town. And when she accidentally killed a man, while trying to do the whole slaying vampires thing she's supposed to be doing, the Watcher's Council -- who never actually bothered to send her a new Watcher of her own -- decided to have her abducted and dragged away to England [a fate which surely nobody deserves].

Yet a part of Willow clearly thinks (and almost outright says) "oh, well, yeah, but she hangs out with Buffy sometimes when I don't get to and she slept with the guy -- not my nice boyfriend! -- who I used to have a crush on (and who I was briefly cheating on said boyfriend with), so it's clearly impossible to say which of us really had things worse and I don't need to feel sorry for her". And -- again, while this is great characterisation for Willow -- it's kind of hard not to notice that the writers think she has a compelling point.

Yes, sure, Faith has defected to working for the Mayor and has a knife drawn on Willow this scene (she's not anything like a blameless victim at this point of the story) and it takes a certain level of physical bravery for Willow to stand up for herself despite that. But ... I mean, come on. "You had friends like Buffy" is only true if you accept it to mean "you had exactly one friend, who was Buffy". "It's way too late" for Faith to seek forgiveness ... how many people has Faith killed at this point? One, by mistake? Giles has killed more people than that. "Some people think you had a lot of bad breaks?" Yeah, actually in Faith's shoes I'd want to hit Willow after she said that too.

I realize that part of the show's central thesis -- something that explicitly came up as recently as Earshot -- is the idea that everybody, regardless of how comfortable their life might seem from the outside, has their own sorrow and pain and (only occasionally metaphorical) demons to fight. But while that's not entirely wrong, it's also ... not entirely complete? Everyone has it bad sometimes, but some people really do have it worse than others. Pretending otherwise is ... not a serious position to take.

Willow's life could be better, but she's not gone through anything like Faith has. I'd argue she literally can't imagine how bad Faith's life has been. She really doesn't have as much moral authority as the show's writers think she has at this point.

[Compare this part of Season 3 with the first half of Season 6, when the show is overflowing with sympathy for Willow's abrupt descent into magic addiction but has no sympathy at all for Amy Madison, whose own magic addiction is just implied to be because she's inherently a Bad Person who Willow needs to avoid and whose own horrific past and abusive mother and complete lack of support system is just entirely forgotten about. Or, indeed, to the weird take of Dead Man's Party, which has Buffy apologize to Willow for ... what? Having problems of her own that don't revolve around Willow? Being too busy mourning the loss of everything she ever cared about to tell Willow how uniquely special and amazing she was for learning rudimentary magic? Not being grateful enough for Willow restoring Angel's soul without bothering to ask Buffy if that was something she still wanted her to try?]

So, the overall effect is ... yeah, it's a good scene. But it's almost a good scene despite the writer's intentions, not because of them. It's much less of an ambiguously triumphant moment for WIllow than I believe we're meant to read it as.

#btvs

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centrally-unplanned · 8 months

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Have seen 3-4 "death of culture at the modern university" posts on my dash, so lets address the forces being missed in those posts. People today are not less cultured, they are not less creative - hell that is actually hilarious, due to radically lowered barriers of entry a good deal more people are creative in some way today. The average 21 year old is as awash in hot takes or avant garde art or crazy political movements as they ever were, give-or-take the zeitgeist fluctuations of any given year.

What has changed is that the university is no longer as necessary a lodestone for that culture. The primary cause is of course the internet of it all; in the same way people just have less friends now because they can be entertained otherwise, if I want freeform poetry readings I can go on Youtube, I can *post* on Youtube. I don't need to be a part of my uni's zine, I can just write for...any zine!! Anywhere!! Colleges used to solve the coordination problem of bringing disparate people together to participate in distinct hobbies all in one place; the internet does that better. College for some is a little obselete.

Meanwhile, universities themselves have changed, and a lot of it is that stifling, bureaucratic stuff you see in those posts. But supply meets demand; those schools changed for a reason, and one of the big ones is that how undegraduates spend their time has pretty radically changed too. The "have fun majoring in ~whatever at uni" idea that peaked in the 1980's is pretty dead; if you are at a top school you are planning out your internships for freshman summer, because you need multiple as part of your four year plan to max your odds of getting into med school or a slot on the marketing consulting team at Deloitte. The competition for entry-level jobs has escalated dramatically since the late 90's; companies both lost faith in the "liberal arts" stamp as a universal smartness indicator, the complexity of jobs legitimately went up and demand more skills at entry level, and enough savvy students were building comprehensive resumes that they didn't need to settle any more, they had their pick. And these all feed on each other through competition; once enough students are doing it, everyone has to do it.

So college is just "about" career prep more and more now for people. Which just isn't fun and not the place you stick your creativity in; it doesn't vibe that way. These transformations are structural, and even sans the bureaucracy things like Greek Life would be fading. How is that boosting your organic chemistry grade again? Who has the time for that shit.

But people are still doing all the creative edgy art weird stuff. Just not within the confines of the college quite as much. And of course many still do; its all margins in the end.

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irkimatsu · 7 months

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I love your Husk works! Could you please write one where fem!reader gets along with everyone and Husk doesn't even realize that he's catching feelings, but maybe on a night out with everyone, someone comes up and starts heavily flirting with her. Ends with confessions and sugary sweet tooth rotting fluff please. 😍

God damn, anon, do you have any idea how hard it is to wring a confession out of this man? I was going along at a steady pace and then I got stuck for hours! I genuinely hope you like slowburn, because Husk doesn't go from zero-to-love easily. I think he's gotten a nice start here, though. It's definitely fluffy!

Husk/Fem!Reader starting a relationship. Mentions of drinking and attempted sexual assault that Husk interrupts before things get too heavy. SFW, 2.8k words. Enjoy! I hope this is what you had in mind, anon! Thank you so much for reading my works!

Your first few months staying at the Hazbin Hotel have gone quite smoothly; as smoothly as anything there can ever go, anyway. Charlie took an instant liking to you - she takes an instant liking to everyone, so it’s nothing special, but still. She can be a bit overbearing, but you know she means well, and she’s grateful to have someone who doesn’t immediately write off her trust exercises from the start.

Still, after all the sharing circles and art therapy, you occasionally find yourself craving more “adult” fun, and that’s where Angel and Cherri come in. It’s not that you don’t want to be redeemed, but what could be so sinful about enjoying yourself a little? You’re not doing anything dangerous or drastic, no drugs and no getting involved with the wrong people; you’re just having fun drinking, dancing, maybe smashing up some abandoned property if the opportunity strikes. Charlie can’t get mad at destruction if no one cares about the thing you just blew up, right?

The bartender, Husk, isn’t nearly as keen on those nights on the town, but you’ve still managed to bond with him on nights where you prefer to stay in. He’s a surprisingly good listener underneath his gruff exterior. (Perhaps too good of a listener; you hope he keeps ignoring whatever bullshit you might have spouted off after one too many of his cocktails.) He also has plenty of stories of his own, mostly from the time he spent alive. When you could get him talking, he’d weave incredible tales of nightlife, both from his home city in Las Vegas and all the other places he’d visited in his life. He seemed especially wistful when talking about a woman he knew back then. He could talk for hours about all the famous sites he was able to take her to, all the songs he would sing for her, and all the starry skies he’d dance with her under.

“It’s not like I blame her for leaving. I’m the one who screwed it up. But being in love… it was nice while it lasted.”

You try to encourage him with the hope that he could fall in love again, but he shakes his head with a bitter smile.

“I lost the ability to love years ago.”

—-

Your friendship with Angel and Cherri is so different compared to your friendship with Husk, so it took a few months before you could have a night out with all three of them. Charlie is once again less enthused about the idea of you four going out to party, but you promise to be relatively well behaved.

You promise, anyway. You can’t make promises for Angel’s sake, and as much as you love her, you know better than to have any faith in Cherri.

You’re surprised Husk agreed to come to a sex club at all. He never seemed like the type to be into that sort of thing. You’re less surprised to see that he has no intention of flirting with anyone and is instead perfectly happy to sit by the wall and knock back shots as quickly as the bartender can pour them.

Couldn’t he drink himself stupid back at the hotel, though? Why did he even come?

Is it just you, or has he been watching you the whole night?

The hours tick by, and you, Angel, and Cherri become progressively more wasted. Angel is currently hanging off of a muscular bull demon - damn, good for him - while Cherri tells you about another resident who used to stay at the hotel before he tragically lost his life during the last extermination.

“He was such a fucking idiot that it was charming, ya know? God damn I should have gotten to know him better when he was still around! I heard this rumor about him and never even got to find out if it was true!”

As she speaks, Cherri catches sight of a cobra demon who is currently chatting up a cluster of punk girls.

“Well, damn… maybe I’ll get to find out tonight. Don’t wait around for me, I’ll find my way back!”

With that announcement, Cherri is gone, leaving only you and Husk with about a dozen bar stools between you. He’s definitely keeping an eye on you; there’s still liquid in his glass, and he’s watching you instead of guzzling it.

What’s his deal? If he wants to spend the night with you, why doesn’t he just come over here? You decide not to go over there yourself; no sense in rewarding him if he’s playing mind games.

You instead turn your attention to a handsome wolf demon who has taken Cherri’s seat. “Drinking all alone, love?” he says, his deep voice smooth as butter. Right away this man gives you the air of a natural-born charmer who can win anyone’s trust within seconds, only to break their hearts within hours.

He’s hot, and you’re drunk. You’ll let him break your heart a little.

Your conversation starts normally enough, with low stakes topics like the music and the drink selection in the bar. You’re in no hurry to tell this man anything personal or leave this spot with him, but you’re enjoying looking at him and hearing him enough that you don’t mind being a bit of entertainment.

He bumps your knee with his at one point, but you pull your own knee away. At first he seems to take the hint, and time passes without any more advances.

Soon, however, he grows more bold.

“Why don’t we go somewhere else, baby?” he asks as he lightly squeezes your thigh. “Somewhere more private?”

“No thanks,” you say as you jerk your leg away, though the motion doesn’t make him let go. “I’m fine talking here.”

“You know this is a sex club, don’t you?” he says. His smile and voice haven’t changed, but somehow he seems much slimier than he did five minutes ago, and the strong paw gripping your leg that seemed so enticing in your head feels suffocating in reality.

“I’m not here for that, I’m just hanging out with friends-” You try to leave the stool, but the man throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in.

“Come on, babe! What did you think I was after by chatting you up like this? You’re not gonna leave me hanging, are you?” He’s holding you closely enough that his hot breath is hitting your face, and the stench of his cologne is making you gag. “C’mon, baby, I’ll show you a good time. You won’t regret this-”

“She said no.” Husk had somehow snuck his way to your side without you noticing, and was now glaring daggers at your pursuer. “Back off.”

“Who are you, her grandpa?” the wolf laughs, refusing to unhand you. “Or just a nasty old man who likes ‘em young?”

Your captor’s laughter is quickly interrupted by a high-pitched howl. His face is now adorned with four jagged, bleeding lines.

“What the fuck, old man?” he yells as he unhands you. Just as quickly as you’re unhanded, you’re grabbed again, this time by Husk grabbing your waist and pulling you away.

“I knew I fucking hated this place,” he growls. “Where are Cherri and Angel?”

You have no idea, but your first guess has you looking toward the sex rooms in the back of the club.

“Jesus Christ… they’ll find their own way home. Come on, we’re going back to the hotel.”

You don’t appreciate being dragged out of the club like a misbehaving child, but as the alcohol clouds your thinking, you can’t quite formulate a protest.

Considering how pissed off your admirer must be right now, maybe it’s for the best that you don’t stay.

—

The walk back to the hotel is blurry; if Husk had anything to say to you besides pissed off obscenities muttered beneath his breath, you don’t remember it. Your next memory finds you laying on the couch in the lobby, your head aching from a combination of a hangover and the time spent laying on the couch’s arm with your neck at a weird angle.

“What time is it…?” you murmur as your eyes try to adjust.

“About noon,” answers Husk from the bar.

As you continue to look around the lobby, he appears to be the only one here. “Where is everyone?” you ask through a yawn.

“Angel and Cherri still aren’t back, but I’m sure they’re fine. Charlie and Vaggie left to give you some quiet. Alastor and Niffty…” Husk shrugs after their names, then falls silent.

You groan as you push yourself into a sitting position, one that has you facing Husk. He doesn’t appear to have anything to do, and is instead standing with his chin resting on his crossed arms atop the bar. An awkward silence falls between the two of you, giving you plenty of time to observe Husk’s body language, particularly the way his tail is lashing behind him while his ear gives the occasional twitch.

He is not in a good mood.

“Are you okay?” you ask. Your well-meaning question only seems to piss him off further; he answers not with a word, but with a growl. “Is this about last night?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he insists.

“I’m sorry I caused you trouble…”

“Wasn’t your fault.” His tail lashes even harder. “Just don’t worry about it, all right?”

You’re going to keep worrying about it until he stops looking so on edge.

“Thanks for getting me away from that guy last night,” you say, just in case you didn’t thank him in your drunken haze.

“Hey, it’s what a good bartender does. When you see someone starting shit with another patron, even if it’s not your bar, you take care of the problem. That fucker had no right to put his hands on you after you told him to cut it out.”

He may be gruff, but at least he has standards.

“Can’t believe Cherri and Angel left you alone in there… those two better not take you to anymore fucking sex clubs, you don’t need to be around shit like that…”

“I’m a grown adult,” you protest. “I didn’t want to sleep with that guy, but if I did want to get with someone at that club, that’s my business.”

Husk’s eyes widen for a moment, before he returns to his original dour expression. “Yeah… guess you’re right.”

“And what about you? You didn’t look interested in picking up anyone last night. Why’d you even come?”

“How do you know I wasn’t interested?” he shoots back. “Maybe I was interested in someone! Maybe I just… didn’t have the balls to go for it.” He stands up straight and shakes his head. “Look, can we drop this? Hang out in sex clubs if you want, I don’t fuckin’ care.”

He’s speaking with the tone of voice of someone who very much cares.

“I’m done with ‘em, though. You’re right, you’re an adult, you don’t need me hanging around like some fuckin’ guardian angel.” He pours a glass of clear liquid, and you expect him to down it himself, but he instead steps out from behind the bar still holding the full glass. “I overreacted last night. Shouldn’t have made it your fuckin’ problem.” He approaches the couch, takes a seat, and offers you the glass. “Here, one last favor. Drink this and I’ll get off your ass.”

You take the cup, wondering if for some ungodly reason he’s trying to get you to down straight vodka.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s water. That headache’s only gonna get worse if you’re dehydrated.”

You take a sip of the water, and after only a few swallows you’re already regaining a bit of your desire to live. “Thanks,” you say before taking another large gulp.

“No problem,” he responds. You expect him to return to the bar, but he remains next to you on the couch. His body language has gotten no less agitated. What is going on with him?

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you doting on Angel or Cherri like this,” you observe before finishing the glass.

“They’re used to it, and they’ve got each other,” he says as he takes the glass from you. “You want some more?”

You shake your head, and he remains seated with the glass.

“You, though… I don’t know, something about that guy just pissed me off,” he says. “Even before he started touching you I didn’t like him. Bartender’s intuition, maybe? I’m still not over the awful feeling he gave me.” He sighs heavily. “I just… hate the idea of seeing you get hurt in a place like that. I know Angel and Cherri can take care of themselves, but you’ve never seemed as wild as they do, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Is that why you were watching me the whole night?” you asked.

Husk’s body jolts. “Shit, you noticed?”

“I kept looking over there wondering if you’d ever move from that spot, and if you weren’t actively drinking you were staring at me,” you said. “You weren’t subtle.”

Husk groans as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I know you’re capable. I was just…”

“You weren’t there because you were interested in someone at all, were you?”

“I never said I wasn’t. I mean it when I said I just didn’t have the balls to say anything to ‘em. Instead, I just wondered… what I’d do if someone else asked ‘em. Knowing it’d be my own damn fault for not speaking up sooner. Trying to tell myself it wasn’t that big a deal if they went with someone else… until someone started flirting with ‘em, and touchin’ ‘em, and-” His body tenses as he growls, but relaxes after a moment. “Damn it, I haven’t had to do this in years...”

“Done what?”

“You know what I said about losing my ability to love years ago?” He turns his head and looks directly at you for the first time since he sat down. “...I think I’m remembering how to do it again.”

Things are starting to fall into place. “And the person who helped you remember is…?”

The slightest of smiles crosses his face. “Who do you think?”

You wouldn’t have guessed it before today, but it all seems so obvious in retrospect. He’d spent so many nights with you when he could have been in bed, just chatting with you or comforting you after a bad day. You’d really grown so fond of his smile, and Angel had told you before that he used to never smile.

But surely, you thought, he couldn’t have been smiling because of you…

“What am I even saying?” he asks as he turns away from you. “You died in the prime of your life, and down here you can have that prime forever. You could do so much better than a washed up old drunk.”

“You’re not washed up,” you assure him as you place your hand over his. “I think it’s great that you got to live such a full life! You have so many stories to tell, and so many talents… I bet there’s so much you haven’t told me yet.” You try to reassure him with a smile and a light squeeze to his hand. “So much you haven’t shown me, either. You talk a lot about when you were in a band, but I’ve never gotten to hear you play…”

“I haven’t touched an instrument in years,” he says. “I bet I don’t even remember how to play anymore.”

“Well, you don’t know if you don’t try, right?”

You don’t think you’re just saying that about instruments.

“It’s been such a long time… what if I screw up?”

You don’t think he’s just talking about instruments either.

“It can’t hurt to try. Maybe… maybe you’ll enjoy it even more than you remember.”

“Hmm…” He doesn’t seem fully at ease, but he hasn’t taken his hand back yet. “If I can get my hands on a saxophone, and I really haven’t forgotten how… sure. I’ll play for you.

…you just have to give me some time, okay? I’m not used to it anymore… especially with another person…”

“Take all the time you need,” you assure him.

He turns his hand around so he can hold yours back, and his smile seems to grow slightly. “Just gotta start slow… get used to things again…”

“You’ll be fine, I know you will,” you assure him. He seems content to leave the conversation there, but there’s one more thing you need to say. “Husk?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I’ll be going back to that club. No point when I’m not interested in picking up dates anymore.”

He squeezes your hand. “Glad to hear it.”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin husk #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel husk x reader #hazbin husk x reader #irk blubbers about nothing #irk got asked a thing #irk talks to strangers #irk huskposts

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 2 years

Text

A Fresh Start [9]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: a bit of a longer one, sorry if that’s not your forte, reader has nightmares involving being attacked, traumatic past, scar, fake name mentioned

Word Count: 6,275

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

Ch. #09: BUIR, GROGU, MA

Chapter Summary: ‘There is no one else, there will be no one else, it’s only you’.

“Have you ever noticed how

wanting

burns you up

from the inside out?

Like one moment I am whole,

but then I hear

your voice on the phone

and I swear to God

three blocks away from here

they can smell smoke.”

As if you hadn’t already felt at home with Grogu and Mando, by the end of the month you couldn’t fathom how you once lived without them. The places you’ve lived prior— Coruscant before and after the incident, Tatooine where you chose to hide— you realized now you’d hadn’t truly been living. Even at your prime, a young recently out of training physician with the world at her fingertips, there had been a hole. You spent so much time busy, trying to reach your goals, that you let other aspects slips away. You didn’t regret the work you put in, you didn’t regret being independent, but you didn’t know a home could feel so… perfect. And, that’s what your life in Nevarro was. It was perfect.

Grogu was thriving in school. Every day he seemed to know a new word in Basic and he had made so many friends. The routine of your life would look repetitive to someone on the outside looking in, but by the Maker did you adore every second of it. Mando had permanently decided to change the time he went into work. He assured you it had nothing to do with not trusting you and him just wanting to be there for Grogu. So, every week day morning the two of you would walk Grogu to school and then you’d walk Mando to work.

And Mando was…

You loved Grogu. Arguably to a fault. You weren’t sure how the ‘nanny rules of professionalism’ worked but growing so attached to the child in your care had to be frowned upon in some way. Crushing on the child’s father was also hugely frowned upon you’d guess, but it hadn’t stopped you. Mando was… Mando.

It was hard to put it into words, or maybe you were just too scared to try, but something about him spoke to your soul. Before coming to Nevarro, you had never put much thought or faith into soulmates. Even now the idea made you marginally cringe with how cheesy and dorky you sounded, but it was possibly the simplest explanation. There was something about the make up of your cells and atoms that just called to him. You felt better in his presence. Happier. Safer. Cared for. Seen. Mando listened when you spoke, truly listened, and he seemed to remember every detail you offered him. Food preferences, favorites, old memories, fun facts. The heavy beskar seemed to soak up every detail and though he may not have been a man of many words, he was a man of action. Mando didn’t hesitate to show you how much he appreciated you, and with every kind action you were falling harder and harder.

You had it bad.

Nima teased you relentlessly about him, and you constantly reminded her that this was as far as it could go. A simple crush. A longing. At the end of the day, though your feelings had evolved, he was still your boss. Mando was paying you to watch Grogu, paying you to live in his home, paying you to be present. The fact that he was willing to cross that line and be friends was blessing enough. You couldn’t push any further and risk ruining what you had. If you lost Grogu and Mando because you were too stupid to swallow your emotions you’d never forgive yourself.

It was a fact you constantly had to remind yourself of.

“Why would you come hang out with me only to sit there and daydream about the Marshal?” Nima complained. You glanced her way to see her wearing a comical pout.

“I am not— ” You began, but Nima stared you down with a knowing look. You shifted in your seat and moved on from the flimsy excuse. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

Nima was seated on the floor working on some kind of engine looking machine while you sat a few feet away on a crate. She shrugged. “Yeah, but you were supposed to keep me entertained while I work.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint.” You rose from your seat as you noted the time. “You’re really gonna pout now since I have to go.”

“What, why??” Nima asked. You pointed to the large clock on the garage wall that indicated it was nearly 3PM. She startled. “Oh kriff, Peli is gonna kill me. I was supposed to have this done half an hour ago!”

You laughed at her panic and tossed her a half hearted goodbye before walking out of the garage. Mando was able to walk Grogu to school everyday with you, but you were primarily in charge of pick up since he couldn’t always get off of work for that. Rarely ever.

As you waited for the kids to get out, you casually held conversation with the other parents standing near you. You had gotten to know a few pretty well. Especially the ones who Grogu had befriended their kid. Another person you had gotten to know was Grogu’s teacher. Ms. Wynn was sunshine personified and you assumed that helped in her role as teacher to a class of rowdy, small children. Grogu loved her and when she asked for volunteers around class or with extra work you stepped up. Partly to be more involved with anything surrounding Grogu, and also because you sure as hell had the time.

Ms. Wynn stepped out to release the class and you drifted closer to say hello to her while also picking up Grogu. Grogu, realizing you were coming closer to do so, didn’t bother checking with his teacher and instead leapt toward you as soon as you were close enough. You pulled him into a tight hug that he returned with gusto.

“How was school, baby?” You cooed.

“Fun! Play with Poe!” Grogu chirped. Poe was his favorite friend in school. You had the little boy over for play dates a few weekends alongside his parents.

“Good.” You peppered light kisses to his face to make him squirm and giggle at the onslaught. Ms. Wynn stepped closer and greeted you. “Hey! How’re you?”

She chuckled. “I’m doing well thank you for asking.” Ms. Wynn raised an eyebrow at Grogu. “Grogu, what are the rules about leaving the line? You’re supposed to check with me first, aren’t you?”

Grogu nodded. “Sorry.”

He still had a hard time pronouncing the letter ‘R’ which had the word come out sounding like ‘W’s but he was improving. Though he apologized, nothing about the way he bounced in your arms was apologetic.

“That’s probably more my fault.” You winced. “My bad.”

“It happens.” She shrugged. “There’s a little activity I put in his bag for him to do. We’re discussing families so I asked the kids to draw their own families.” Ms. Wynn tickled his belly. “Grogu told us all about his Uncle Boba and Aunt Fennec.”

Those were names you vaguely recognized when Mando pointed out the figures in Grogu’s drawings. Maybe you’d ask for more detail tonight and where they were specifically. The two of you said goodbye to Ms. Wynn and you began to walk away from the school.

“Hmm, I’m thinking that a good boy like you deserves a treat.” You hummed and his ears perked up. “Wanna stop for some ice cream?”

“ ‘lek! ‘lek! Please!” Grogu went ecstatic in your arms as he tried to crawl out of your grip to beat you to the small shop you’d have to pass on your way home. You sighed contentedly and didn’t bother trying to mask the wide grin on your features.

Din Djarin was happy. More than happy, he was at peace. He spent so much of his life traveling alone, keeping to himself, and trying not to want for more. He had been so focused on earning credits from bounties to pass along to the Armorer as offering to the foundlings at the covert that he didn’t let any other want or need enter his mind. It wasn’t until Grogu came into his life that he began to realize how much he wanted a family. He was tired of being alone. His earliest memories were of his parents. Flashes of a life on Aq Vetina before the world around him crumbled to ash. Memories of his mother holding him, singing him to sleep, and of his father playing with him, holding him on his shoulders so he could reach the sky. That’s what Din wanted more than anything. That was the deep secret he had buried years and years ago and refused to think about.

When Grogu became his, Din had let himself dream of a better life. That better life didn’t involve anything further than being a father though. Realistically, he couldn’t imagine finding anything more. Being Grogu’s father was already more than he deserved⏤ Din thought it foolish to think he’d want for anything else. He was settled. Content. Then, as if to specifically prove him wrong, the universe led you into the station that first day with Nima.

Din had no idea, no way of knowing, how important you would grow to be to him. With every single day that passed, every single moment, he found the roots of your presence twisting deeper and deeper into his soul⏤ twisting into every aspect of him. Suddenly, Din didn’t want some vague white picket fence life. No, he wanted you. The Maker could appear before him and offer him the galaxy on a platter, the supposed picture perfect life, but if it didn’t involve you he didn't want it. Din was falling for you more and more every single moment of every single day, and as if he didn’t have it bad enough watching you with Grogu melted him into a puddle.

Din would cross the universe, fight any adversary in the galaxy, for the honor of coming home to you and Grogu every night for the rest of his life. The thought of calling you his⏤ Maker, Din didn’t have the strength to stay on that line of thought for very long. Not publicly at least. He could only afford to give into weakness in the dead of night. Din would let you flood his thoughts when he was alone. It was all he could afford. It was all he could do. You were only in his life because he was paying you. That’s what he kept reminding himself of. Sometimes it was the only thing that kept him from giving in⏤ from pulling you into his arms so he could feel how soft your skin felt, what sounds you’d make, rather than just imagining it in a moment of weakness alone in the shower.

However, Din would never put Grogu’s happiness at risk. He loved you, you loved him. Din wanted you to stay in his son’s life for as long as he could have you, and the idea of ruining that made him sick to his stomach. Din had never been in a real relationship. He had been with others in the past, but nothing serious or long lasting and that’s what Din wanted from you. Not just sex, not just a fling, he wanted a life. He wanted everything. And, as if the fact that he was your employer wasn’t enough, Din didn’t trust that he could do that right. You deserved the entire world, and Din wasn’t sure he was capable of giving that.

The point was that he would do anything and everything to keep his life exactly how it was right now. He wanted no sort of change, no risk of it even, which was exactly why he didn’t hesitate before telling Greef Karga no.

“Mando,” Karga shook his head, “You didn’t even pause to think.”

“I don’t need to.” Din shrugged. Karga had called him into his office to discuss matters. While Karga sat at his desk with wide and confused eyes, Din simply leaned against the wall resting his hands on his belt.

Karga rose from his seat. “The bounty pucks I’m offering you are beyond⏤”

“I don’t care.” Din said. He tilted his head, “I didn’t know you were still involved with the guild at all, High Magistrate Karga.”

“Not like before, nothing like before!” Karga waved away his words. “Just passing out a few pucks here and there. Only to the best that I know.” He motioned his arms out to him. “And that’s you, Mando!”

“You offered me the position of Marshal here.” Din argued. “It’s difficult to be Marshal when I’m on a different planet.”

Karga shook his head. “The bounties would be short term. Just here and there. You recruited Dune and Mayfeld. They can keep an eye on things while you pick up a bounty or two, surely?” Din didn’t bother offering a response. He had made himself plenty clear. Karga stepped closer. “It’s simple stuff for high value. I’m talking about someone who skipped bail for a price you wouldn’t believe. A man who⏤”

“No, Karga.” Din replied. “Now, are we done?”

“I suppose.” Karga sighed and threw his hands up in defeat.

Din nodded once before pushing off the wall and making his leave. He had taken a lot of risks throughout his life as a bounty hunter, but this was one risk he was not willing to make. You and Grogu were much, much too important to him.

You leaned against the island counter reading the assignment Ms. Wynn had told you about. It was simple enough. She just wanted the kids to draw out their family and label them. Thinking it over, you may have to find some larger poster of some kind for him to use. Grogu may not have had a lot of immediate, blood related family, but he had no shortage of people who loved him. He had aunties and uncles galore.

“Fruit!” Grogu was holding his stuffed frog to his chest as he waddled into the kitchen. You glanced down at him with a smile, and he began to jump around your legs. “Fruit, fruit, fruit.”

“Okay, okay, you little womp rat.” You laughed and wandered to the fridge. There were already some cut up pieces from this morning that you could hand over to him. You pulled it out then dug a small bowl out of the cabinet to transfer it over for him. After grabbing a fork, you turned back to him. “Alright, I’ll trade you. You give me froggie and I’ll give you fruit.” You were attempting to keep froggie from needing another wash knowing Grogu would get the sticky fruit juice all over it. “Deal?”

“Mhmm.” Grogu nodded and held up the frog. You knelt down to take it and handed over the fruit. Grogu took it happily, then titled his head at you. “V’ore, Ma!”

Your brain began to short circuit as Grogu just waddled away. Had he just⏤? ‘V’ore’ meant thanks. You knew that. You racked your brain for a Mando’a word that sounded like ‘Ma’. That had to be Mando’a, right? He couldn’t have possibly just⏤ You scrambled around the kitchen island to reach Grogu who had settled on the floor amongst his toys and drawings to eat. “Grogu, Grogu, baby.” You sat in front of him. “What did you⏤ I⏤” How did you even phrase this question? You shook your head. “Who am I? I’m Soran, right? Soran.”

You said the name slowly to try and get him to repeat it, but Grogu just stared up at you like you were actively losing your mind. Maybe you were. Maybe you had misheard and this was just⏤

“Ma.” Grogu blurted. “You Ma.” You blinked in shock. Denial still swirled in your head, trying to find some kind of reasoning, but Grogu set down his fruit to dig through his piles of paper. Some had drawings and some had letters in Basic and Mando’a that you had been practicing. He dug out a picture where he had obviously scribbled Mando holding him while you stood beside them. It was absolutely adorable, but your eyes stared wide at the labeling. Above Mando’s head he had written the word ‘buir’ in Mando’a, you recognized the lettering, above his own head he had scribbled his name, and above you he had written two simple letters. ‘MA’. Grogu offered you the paper with a happy chirp. “Buir, Grogu, Ma.”

The first instinct you had was to smile and take the paper. You were honored that this small, precious child would see you in that kind of light. That he cared for you⏤loved you⏤ enough to give you that important of a label. The second emotion to overcome you was pure, absolute panic.

“Oh, Maker.” You blurted. Slowly, as to not cause the boy to feel the nervous energy threatening to radiate off you, you stood and walked back to the kitchen with the picture in hand. The moment you reached the island counter, you used your communicator to reach out to Nima. She needed to be here. Now.

It took ten minutes before there was a knock at the door and you jumped off the couch so fast that it caused Grogu to look up from what he was playing with. You yanked the door open to see Nima and Cara standing on the porch. “Cara?”

“Is everything alright?” Nima pushed past you.

Cara followed. “Grogu okay?”

“He’s fine.” You shut the door and followed after them. When they saw Grogu playing in the living room they seemed to relax, and when the boy realized they were here he began to rush over to greet them excitedly. They reacted accordingly.

“Hey, little guy!” Nima picked him up. Cara tickled him with a grin. They both turned to you and Nima was the first to question you. “What’s going on? Your message seemed panicked and you’re never panicked.”

“Cara, why are you here?” You ignored Nima’s question to ask one of your own. “Did you guys tell Mando⏤”

“Relax.” Cara held a hand up as if that would put a halt to your fried nerves. “It’s my day off. I was with Nima when you called.” You let out a sigh of relief, and Cara narrowed her eyes at you curiously. “What is going on, Soran? Did the kid eat another critter?”

You shook your head. “No, it’s⏤”

“Ma!” Grogu held his arms out to you.

Nima and Cara both stared at Grogu in surprise.

You sighed, “That.”

Mando didn’t have a television in his home, but Nima had set up her communicator in the living room to play some kind of kid show. Grogu sat in front of it watching intently while snacking on more fruit. Meanwhile, you stood in the kitchen leaning against the counter while Nima and Cara sat at the barstools across from you. You had made them both a cup of caf.

“He just started calling me it after we got back from school.” You rubbed the side of your face. The drawing Grogu had drawn sat on the counter between you and them.

Nima nodded slowly. “Alright.” She took a long sip of her caf then narrowed her eyes at you. “And what’s the problem?”

“Nima.” You snapped.

The mechanic shrugged, “What? I don’t see the issue here. You’re basically his mom.”

“I’m his nanny. There’s a difference.”

They didn’t respond and you bit down on your lower lip. The problem wasn’t that Grogu was calling you ‘Ma’. It wasn’t even that he saw you as that kind of figure. Grogu was just a kid. Of course, he’d get confused about that. The problem was, it didn’t bother you.

More than not bothering you, you kind of liked it.

Cara let out a low whistle. “Well, I think we all know how Mando is gonna take this.”

“Yeah,” You scoffed, “He’s gonna think I’m some psycho trying to steal his kid out of his life or something.”

“Okay, maybe we don’t all know.” Cara mumbled.

“Look, if you want him to stop you could just tell him.” Nima said. “He’s a smart kid.”

That was probably the truth. Grogu was so smart. You were constantly impressed with what he was capable of. Even though he was only just learning how to communicate in Basic or Mando’a hadn’t meant he was capable of understanding. The problem you faced was more internal than external. You weren’t a mother. Far from it. You were a woman running from your past who fell into a situation where you got offered the job of being a nanny for a local Marshal. The job turned into so much more⏤ more than you had ever dreamed. But, enjoying a casual life with Mando and Grogu was different than how hearing the word ‘Ma’ felt to you.

A nanny was temporary, a mother was permanent.

“I have to tell him.” You shook your head.

“And you can in…” Nima looked at her watch, “About two hours.”

“No. I gotta go see him right now.”

“Why?”

You gave them a deadpanned look, “Because I want him to know the whole story rather than him walking through the door and hearing his son refer to me as his mother. I figure a little ‘heads up’ is indicated in this kind of situation.” Nima and Cara shared a look before conceding to your point. “Alright. Can you keep an eye on Grogu while I run out?”

“Sure.” Nima nodded. She looked to Cara who agreed with a nod of her own.

You gave them your thanks then hurried around the kitchen counter and into the living room. You knelt by Grogu who, at your presence, perked up and began to point to the screen. “Fun, Ma!”

“I know, baby.” You scrunched your nose. Calling him ‘baby’ probably hadn’t helped this situation. “I gotta run out for a minute, but Nima and Cara are going to stay here to hang out with you. Okay?”

“ ‘lek.” Grogu nodded. You started to stand, but Grogu held his hands up in a familiar way. You hesitated for a second then hated that you did. With a smile, you leaned down to rest your forehead against Grogu’s lovingly.

When you did stand, you realized Nima and Cara were both staring at you from the kitchen and when you met their eyes they both shot you a look amusement. You huffed at them and went for the door. You needed to tell Mando about this and more importantly you really, really needed to hear what he thought.

Mayfeld was talking about some date he had the night previously, and if Din were being honest he wasn’t retaining a word. He wasn’t trying to ignore the man or zone out, Din just couldn’t focus. Between Karga offering him bounties as if that were still his life, and dealing with a scuffle between a handful of bounty hunters on the landing pad⏤ Din’s day had been kriffing annoying. He just wanted to be home. With Cara being off today, he couldn’t justify leaving early. Especially since Mayfeld was on call tonight so if he left now the man would be working on his own for longer than anyone deserved.

“She was all over me, Mando. You should’ve seen it.” Mayfeld bragged.

“I’m sure.” Din nodded plainly.

When they entered the station, Cecilia, the human receptionist, called out to him. “Marshal.” He paused and Mayfeld did as well. “Soran is waiting for you in your office.”

Din felt his shoulders relax. This was exactly what he needed. “When did her and Grogu get⏤”

“No. It’s just Soran.” She said. As quickly as his ease had come, it was gone. You would never leave Grogu alone. He went with you everywhere when he wasn’t at school. “She looked kind of nervous.”

That was all it took. Mayfeld called out to him, but Din was barreling down the hall to his office. His door was shut and it took all the self control he had to simply open it rather than accidentally break it down in the process of trying to get to you. What was going on? Was Grogu hurt? When the door swung open, you jumped up from where you sat on the couch. Just as Cecilia said, you looked troubled. Your lips were turned down in a worried frown and you squirmed in place.

“Grogu?” He crossed the space to you.

“No, he’s fine. I swear.” You said quickly and Din let out a breath of relief. “He’s at home with Nima and Cara right now. Everything is alright. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

That was exactly what he had felt. Din was scared. The thought of anything happening to Grogu, anything happening to you, filled his veins with ice. Hearing Grogu was alright calmed him marginally, but it still didn’t explain why you were here alone or why you looked so nervous. Din closed the last bit of space to set his hands on your shoulder.

“Cyar’ika,” He breathed, “What is going on? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just⏤ I needed to talk to you.” You mumbled. Din nodded and waited for you to continue. “I’m just not sure… I wanted to… I needed to talk to you about this before you got home tonight, and I wanted you to hear it from me rather than…”

You were wringing your hands and every word out of your mouth made him more and more worried. Din released your arms to go back and close the door to this office. When he returned, he carefully maneuvered you to sit on the couch again. He settled down beside you and let his hand rest on your back. Din let his thumb rub the spot where it laid.

“Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.” Din said as reassuringly as he could despite being on edge himself. “But you have to talk to me, cyar’ika. What is wrong?”

You locked your jaw and at the sight of it Din wanted to lifted his hand and caress the side of your face⏤ try to soothe your tension. Finally, you shifted in place to face him further, your knee now pressed against his. “At school, the kids are talking about families. Familial roles. Aunt, Uncle, Cousin.” You twisted your lips. “Dad, mom.” Din nodded. “When we got home today, I was making Grogu a snack. He asked for fruit so I got it for him, and when I gave it to him he… he…” You paused and Din pressed his hand more firmly against your back. You sighed, “Mando, he called me ‘Ma’.”

Din was at a loss for words. Grogu had… Grogu called you… This news should not affect him the way it did, but Maker, he felt like his temperature rose multiple degrees. He was cooking inside the beskar and his mouth went dry. The thought of his son seeing you as a maternal figure completed that family image he tried so hard not to think about. Before he could reign in his mind, he pictured crossing the room to lock the door. Everyone in the office knew not to bother him when the door was shut unless it was an emergency⏤ just in case his helmet was off. And dank farrik he wanted to take off his helmet. He wanted to rip it off, toss it across the room, and pull you into him⏤ taste you. The imagery caused Din to suck in a sharp breath. You must have misunderstood his reaction, because your panic increased.

“I swear to the Maker, Mando, I didn’t tell him to do that.” You said. “It⏤It just happened. I didn’t really react because I didn’t want to worry Grogu, he’s so good at picking up on emotions, but the last thing I wanted was for you to come home and hear him call me ‘Ma.’” It’s funny you said that because that was ten thousand percent exactly what he wanted. “I kind of hoped maybe it was some Mando’a word I didn’t recognize and asked him to clarify, asked him who I was, but then he…”

You sighed and shifted to pull out a folded piece of paper out of your pocket. You held it out to him and Din could see a slight tremble in your fingers. In all his euphoria of finding out Grogu saw you as a mother figure, he forgot to analyze your emotions entirely. You were nervous and scared. This had shaken you. He took the paper from you but kept his hand on yours for a second longer hoping the weight of his would ground you. When the tremble stopped, he pulled away to open the paper. It was one of Grogu’s drawings. It was of Din, his son, and you. All labeled. Buir, Grogu, Ma. Din swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

“I know this is a lot, and I really, really hope you’re not mad at me⏤” You began and Din stiffened at the thought. Mad at you? “But if you could say something that would be great because I’ve said a lot of words and you haven’t and the more I say the more nervous I get.”

Din only realized then he hadn’t said a single word. As cute as he always found your rambling, he hated how worried you were. He set the drawing down on the other side of him, with full plans to hang that one up by the others, then took your hands in his. Din wanted to take off his gloves⏤ wanted to feel your skin. Even behind the closed door of his office though, he resisted.

“You have said a lot of words.” He tried to keep his amusement of of his voice. Din didn’t want you to think you were being teased. “But, in all those words, you only said you were worried about how I would feel.” Din squeezed your hand. “How do you feel, cyar’ika? Do you… Do you not want him to call you that?”

You blinked in surprise, as if you hadn’t expected him to ask that, “I…It’s not that. I⏤” Your face crumpled and you closed your eyes as if in pain. For the second time since you entered, Din had to hold back from cupping your face. “I liked it too much, Mando.” Din bit back another sharp breath. Dank farrik, he was trying so hard to be a good man, but you were making it very, very hard. You opened your eyes again. “You’re paying me to be his nanny, and I know neither of us knew anything about the nanny gig when I started, but this has to be against the rules.”

“What rules?”

“I don’t know. The nanny rules?” You shook your head. “I⏤ You and Grogu are so important to me, Mando. Maybe I’m overstepping by saying that, but it’s the honest to maker truth.” Din bit down on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t want to risk what we have right now. I love it. I was just afraid if you heard him call me ‘Ma’ you’d think I was trying to⏤ to⏤ I don’t know... steal him away or force myself into your lives more than I was supposed to.”

Din finally settled enough that he could find his voice. Everything you said about them being important to you mirrored entirely how he felt, and some optimistic part of him wondered if that meant you could possibly feel the same way. He shoved that aside. It was too much to ask for⏤ hope for. Din, maybe being the one to overstep bounds now, slowly pulled a hand away from yours and let it drift closer to you. He moved slow enough to give you the opportunity to stop him, but when you didn’t he let his hand settled on the side of your neck, his thumb resting by your ear. “Listen to me.” You leaned into his glove and he had to take a slow breath. “I am… overjoyed that Grogu sees you that way. He deserves more in his life than just me⏤”

“Mando⏤”

“Cyar’ika.” Din didn’t let you interrupt him. “As long as you’re comfortable with it, I don’t want you to step outside your comfort zone, but I would love to hear him use the word ‘Ma’. If anyone in his life is deserving of that title, it’s you. I couldn’t ask for a better mother for Grogu.”

Your eyes began to water and Din was terrified he said the wrong thing. Had he made this worse? He opened his mouth again to try and backpedal, but you lunged forward and wrapped your arms around his neck in a tight hug. It took a second for him to register the movement, but he let his own arms pull you in tightly to his chest. He wished he didn’t have his helmet on. He wanted to bury his face against the side of yours, press his lips to your temple to reassure you further, but this was enough for him. If this was all he could have, he’d treasure every second of it.

Din felt you start to pull back and he loosened his grip so you could. When you were out of his reach, he realized the tears that had filled your eyes streaked down your cheeks. Distress filled him at the sight, but you let out a laugh that relieved it. You wiped the tears off your face with a shake of your head.

“I’m so sorry. I’m such a mess.” You mumbled.

“You apologize too much.” He replied and used his thumb to catch a stray tear you had missed.

You shrugged. “Bad habits die hard.” After a beat, you frowned again. “You know, we don’t know how long I’ll be working for you,” Din held back a snort. Was ‘forever’ an option? “But, what happens when you meet someone and it gets serious? Technically she’d be Grogu’s⏤”

“We’ll cross that bridge if we get there.” Din interrupted. It was a better answer than ‘There is no one else, there will be no one else, it’s only you’.

Your smile returned and your nose scrunched, “Can I hug you again?”

“You never have to ask, cyar’ika.” Din replied. You leaned forward to wrap your arms around him once more and Din didn’t hesitate to immediately pull you as close as he physically could.

The entire house was quiet as you laid in bed staring up at the ceiling with a small smile on your face. Ma. Grogu saw you as his mother. You hadn’t been lying to Mando when you said you liked this far too much. Speaking long term, you may have been setting yourself up for failure. Mando seemed unconcerned about the future, but what would happen the day they no longer needed a nanny? What would happen the day Mando found a riddur? Still, knowing that these were things that could blow up in your face one day didn’t stop you⏤ didn’t even slow you down. Things were too perfect now for you to give up.

You shifted in bed and took in a deep breath. Mando hadn’t been called into work during the middle of the night since that first time. It was odd. A part of you wished he would get called away just because it meant you could sleep in his bed once more, but the idea of him being out in danger made you nauseous. No matter how bad you wanted the opportunity to lay beside him and Grogu, you’d never take it over the risk of him getting hurt. You’d sleep in your bed, alone, and just dream. Spending your daylight hours with them was more than you had the right to ask for.

Your throat was raw from screaming. Panic and adrenaline filled your body. Fear gripped your soul. You screamed and screamed and screamed, but nobody was coming. Why couldn’t anyone hear you? Why wasn’t anyone coming to save you? You fought. It wasn’t in your nature to give up, but you were wondering if it was worth the fight. Your hands tried to keep the blade from digging into your flesh⏤ deeper and deeper⏤ but all the blood made your grip too slick. You screamed, but you had no voice left.

“It was all your fault.” No, no. It wasn’t. It couldn’t be. You loved her. You loved Soran. You did everything you could do. “She died because of you.” You thought you had saved her. You thought she was going to be okay. Everything went so badly, so quickly. “You took her from me.” Your hands slipped again, the blade sunk in further⏤ it tore through flesh and muscles, it dug into bone. “You deserve this.” Maybe he was right. You had been her doctor. Maybe you could’ve done more. Maybe, just maybe, this was the universe’s way of serving justice. Soran was gone and it was your fault. You sobbed as your vision began to go dark. He lifted the blade only to dig it in once more.

“You deserve to die.”

You shot up in bed, panting and breathless. A cold sweat collected at the back of your neck. Your hands lifted to your chest, but you didn’t find bloody wounds. Only an ugly scar. A hiccuped sob slipped from your lips and you quickly covered your mouth to muffle the sound.

Life had been too perfect.

Of course, Kurt would come back to haunt you.

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delusionalwriter02 · 8 months

Note

Can you do a insta as yosano, akutagawa or gin gf pls(? this series is really cute :D

Insta as Yosano's GF

a/n : I LOVE Yosano and I have so many ideas for way too much characters so let's go!! thank you so much for your request <3

<3 liked by Ranthebestpo, Yosanurgirl and 209 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : We did a photoshoot and I fell in love again

Ranthebestpo : Omg she's stunning

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : She really is

Yosanurgirl : Bee I love you SO SO MUCH

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I love you more

Elisefather : My eyes are blessed

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : And you're blocked

↳ Daze_i : You accept compliments from Ranpo but not from Mori ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Ranpo is a bro, Mori is a weirdo

↳ Daze_i : Yeah I see it now

Atsushiii : I love the vibe of the photo, it's calming but sexy at the same time, really you did great

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : You have NO RIGHT for being so cute and nice

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Atshushi we should totally do your photos like the white hair shining under the sun, at the beach, I can style your hair a little bit and you'll have EVERYBODY head over heels for you

↳ Atshushiii : I don't think that's a good idea but I trust you

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : LET'S GO, @.Yosanurgirl we have work to do

↳ Yosanurgirl : with pleasure bee

<3 liked by Atshushiii, Gintonic and 287 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : i'm the luckiest person

Atsushiii : Thank you it was really nice

↳ Yosanurgirl : no problem, it was fun

Daze_i : You went to the beach and didn't invite me ???

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : It was for Atsushi not you

↳ Daze_i : But you were in swimsuit

↳ Yosanurgirl : Only I deserve to see MY girlfriend in swimsuit

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I love it when you're jealous

Gintonic : girlllllssss come to my place tomorrow, the new pool is finished, Higuchi will be here too

↳ Yosanurgirl : OMG IT'S FINALLY FINISHED ?? we'll totally come

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : It's been sooo long since the last time I saw Higuchi, I miss you both

↳ Higucci : Miss you too girls

↳ Daze_i : Can I come ?

↳ Gintonic : Of course not

↳ KunikiDA : Dazai tomorrow you have a mission so, no, you don't break into Gin's house

↳ Daze_i : How do you always knows what I'm about to do, it's getting annoying

<3 liked by Higucci, Yosanurgirl and 309 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : it was such a lovely night

Gintonic : it would have been even better if the fuckers didn't came

↳ Yosanurgirl : I still don't understand how they did it

↳ Daze_i : I ask Akutagawa for the security codes

↳ Gintonic : @.Akutagawa you're a traitor

↳ Akutagawa : But he said it would help him

↳ Gintonic : And you didn't even question his actions ????

↳ Akutagawa : I stoped doing that a long time ago

KunikiDA : So how many were you in the end ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : 6. Higuchi, Gin, Yosano and I at first then Dazai and Chuuya came but they brought gifts so we forgave them

↳ KunikiDA : what have they brought ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Chuuya brought Yosano and I favorite wine, Dazai absolutely nothing so actually he is the only one we don't talk to anymore

↳ KunikiDA : just wine is enough for you ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : If it's enough for Yosano then it's enough for me

↳ KunikiDA : I'm loosing faith in you

Atshushiii : Why is there fireworks behind Yosano ?

↳ Yosanurgirl : Ask Chuuya and Dazai

↳ Atsushiii : @.Daze_i @.Chu_uya

↳ Daze_i : I don't remember why but I bought fireworks so I had to use them

↳ Chu_uya : The house behind is Akutagawa's, I wanted to annoy him a bit but he wasn't there so it's not fun

↳ Atsushiii : You two are friends only for pissing peoples off

↳ Chu_uya : We are not friends

↳ Daze_i : what are we Chuchu ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Are we assisting something private ?

↳ Chu_uya : ABSOLUTELY NOT DAZAI STOP BEING SUGGESTIVE

↳ Daze_i : never

<3 liked by Yn_theoneandonly, Ranthebestpo and 284 others.

Yosanurgirl : birthday girl

Yn_theoneandonly : HAPPY BIRHTDAY MY LOVE

↳ Yosanurgirl : I love you Bee

Ranthebestpo : Are you going to the restaurant I told you about ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : SHUT UP STUPID BRAIN IT'S A SURPRISE

↳ Ranthebestpo : oops my bad

↳ Yosanurgirl : I never read that

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : RANPO I'M GOING TO KILL YOU

↳ p0e : i dare you

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : fuck it, you're both not worth my time

KunikiDA : Have a great night you two

↳ Yosanurgirl : Thank you Doppo, you'll be here this weekend for the party ?

↳ KunikiDA : Yes I wrote it in my notebook

↳ Daze_i : Of course you did

↳ KunikiDA : got something to say Dazai ? Should I remind you that I still have your gun lockdown ?

↳ Daze_i : give it back to me pleasssseeeeeee

↳ KunikiDA : The day you become actually responsible, I will

↳ Daze_i : But I am responsible

↳ KunikiDA : You're always late, you break into people's house, I always have to stop you from killing yourself, you never do your report, you hide my notebook, you don't show up to the meetings, that's not what I call responsible

↳ Daze_i : you're not a funny person

<3 liked by Yosanurgirl, Gintonic and 387 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : guess who's going to change her last name

Gintonic : CONGRATS MY GIRLLLLSSSSS I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

Higucci : IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING

Ranthebestpo : Yosano you listened to me, I'm surprised

I love this serie omg I feel like i'm doing way too much post but I LOVE IT so thank you so much for your request!!

See you <3

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vitanithepure · 1 year

Text

Gale's romance

To absolutely nobody's surprise I am back with my thoughts about Gale and I am honestly surprised how many of you still follow me and interact with what I have to say, love you all so much 😭

Again, a freaking long one (over 1200 words, I wrote fanfics shorter than this...), but I need to get it all out of my system to properly function. Of course spoilers for Gale's story and a bit of the main storyline.

First of all - his introduction. Not less of a jump-scare, but somehow this one seemed to fit him better? He doesn't come out of the portal and begin judging our capabilities, instead we help him out, and if anything - I felt an instant level of sympathy for the wizard falling face first on the ground straight out of an unstable portal.

His bashful "I'm usually better at this."? It just served to even out the field and I love it. I was literally sitting there grinning at the screen and thinking "oh, how the mighty have fallen" :D

We still get all the talks known from EA (apart from the failed spell one? Did anyone manage to trigger it? Did they remove it?), so I won't be going over them again, because there is still a lot of new stuff to go through. Although they seem to fire up differently and it makes Gale seem a lot more considerate. Sure, at first he still hides the exact reasons and I still think it's understandable. In my playthrough he brought up his orb problem on the road, in front of the others with us claiming we need to know about it.

He even leaves us the decision if we want him to stay or not, but we cherish this man in this house, so I have no idea what goes down if and how he leaves. Not really interested in learning that, too.

Him showing us the Weave was as wonderful as it used to, didn't notice any changes here, then again - why change something that just…works? And now, in hindsight, I cannot help but see how it sets the tone for the whole relationship with him, be it romantic or otherwise. He shows you this part of him he loves, tries to show because even he, with all his eloquence, cannot find the right words to express what magic means to him.

I feel as if he was not expecting much from it, judging by the mumbling, adorable mess we made of him just imagining a walk, hand in hand. As we learn later (much later, but I think it's important to mention it here) he never considered being this close to anyone after the orb fiasco. Not because he still loves Mystra but rather he realizes how much of a risk it brings. He himself calls himself a "menace" and that, for me, speaks volumes about his character.

Ok, now onto the new parts, previously unavailable in the EA.

I mentioned my reaction after the first talk with Elminster in another post, but I'll say it again: fuck Mystra.

I was worried that there might not be a way to rid Gale of this cursed orb, I was bracing for the possibility that there might not be a happily-ever-after here. Because he seemed set on going along with Mystra's wishes, and I felt bad for standing between the man and his honest faith. Misguided, not fanatical, just honest faith.

I was thinking "yeah, this will probably happen at the end of the game, we'll cross that bridge when we get there". BUT… one moment we are fighting Kethric Thorm and the next Gale is ready to sacrifice himself. "Wait, it's too soon, it can't end like this, WHAT THE HELL is going on?"

"Fun" fact? Gale can really do it from what I saw and it just… ends the game right there and then. I am not ever going to even consider that a viable option, for anyone. It just makes me sick thinking about it in hindsight.

So yeah, no, sorry Mystra, we are not going along with your stupid plan. It really feels like he went along with it in a shell shock state through the whole act II of the story and it made me feel so bad for him. Gale felt like a complete shadow of himself since his first talk with Elminster.

Can you look me in the eye and with a straight face tell me a man ready to die makes a whole fucking illusionary world for just the two of you, shows you his home, his safe place, tells you he loves you and gives you his all? Yeah, yeah, you can tell me "he doesn't want to regret anything", but that's the point! He already regrets so much, and that means he is not ready to become vapor!

So, in the style of Meredith Grey, we go all in with "choose me" and…wow, does he ever. It was like a switch went off, Gale instantly is back to his old self, already having a plan to make it all work. A terrible idea, worthy of the 10 wisdom stat, mind you, but an idea still.

Of course in the meantime we get another visit from Elminster, who drops a few - actually good! - words of wisdom Gale's way and says Mystra wants to talk. Of-fucking-course she wants to, her pet refused to die and she can't fathom why.

I know the talk can go differently depending on what you suggest him to say, I don't know if we can skip the talk altogether and what are the consequences of that, but on my first playthrough I actually encouraged him to seek forgiveness and the talk went… fucking awful if you ask me. Is there a honest to god good way to do this talk?

Hated it when Mystra went all "oh yes, now that you are alive I'm not taking care of your orb until I send you on yet another suicide run, but don't worry - I believe in you, 'kay-thanks-bye!"

I guess this is faith for you - everything becomes a trial for it.

Moving on! The first big romance scene for act III of the story left me in emotional shambles.

In this moment Gale knows he wants to do *everything* and *anything* for us. He wants to gain power for us, to give us everything we deserve because if he gave Mystra his all he won't be holding back for us. And when we say we don't want it… you can see how absolutely devastated he is - up until he hears what we are really telling him.

"You are already everything I need you to be."

God, the animation here was so amazing, you can practically see the moment realization strikes him. He can live without Mystra, he can live without power, but he can't live without you. That he matters to someone, not for what he can do, but just… for him. And he was never loved that way, he himself says that, much to the dismay of my bleeding heart.

And that is that! Our story with Gale ends here, without a bang, but that is good. Gale is no longer the man he used to be, his ambitions now centered around a happy life with us. And I'm all giddy and teary-eyed for him.

Mind you, the ending felt…rushed? But perhaps that's just me not ready to say goodbye after all this? The game ending is a dash of adrenaline and I felt like there was just not enough time to unwind after. Guess I need to headcanon the rest ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Either way, if you managed to stay to this point - a big thank you for reading!

#gale of waterdeep #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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mdzs-fanon-exposed · 9 months

Text

Introductory post: Please read! :)

hi everyone! welcome to my very own MDZS-specific iteration of the unparalleled @svsss-fanon-exposed and @tgcf-fanon-exposed. this blog is designed to find the differences between canon and fanon in the Mo Dao Zu Shi/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation fandom.

this blog is ENGLISH NOVEL CANON ONLY. although i may occasionally cite the drama or the donghua as the potential source for any misconceptions, the canons of these adaptations differ too much from the novel canon for my purposes (plus i haven't finished either one. whoops).

how this whole thing works:

send me an ask! is this thing you thought was canon actually fanon? is that fanon idea supported in the books? where? why? how?

i'll answer the ask with a rating, using SVFE's helpful rating system (explained below), and then go into detail. generally a post will include textual evidence supporting my rating, and possibly an analysis of what this means/where an idea came from.

i'll do my best not to introduce my own personal opinions or biases into the posts. if you have any textual evidence that you think disproves or otherwise contradicts one of my posts, i'm always happy to be corrected! HOWEVER. please do not argue with me or anyone else unnecessarily; this blog is not supposed to be a site for or source of discourse. i will block anyone who is repeatedly coming at me with bad faith. i'm doing this project for fun, and i want to keep it that way for everyone :)

posts will probably be sporadic so i don't burn myself out and lose interest. however, i want to try and answer as many questions as i can! submissions will open and close based on demand so i can stay on top of things.

some important things to keep in mind:

i'm not here to dunk on anyone's headcanons, and i am fully supportive of everyone's creative choices in the fandom!! (in fact i have many headcanons myself.) DO NOT harass anyone for their interpretations of the series. my purpose here is just to clarify whether certain ideas are textually supported, NOT to give an opinion on them.

i'm doing this blog for fun, so i'll be treating it as a casual project. i will only be using the official english translation of the novels, with the supplementary exception of the exiled rebels fanlation. i don't speak any chinese, so i will not be using the untranslated raws or any non-english fandom sources in my posts. although i'll be doing research as needed, i also will not be evaluating any headcanons purely based on chinese cultural norms, due to my unfamiliarity with them. if you are more familiar with any of these sources and have more information to add to a post, please let me know!

another thing to keep in mind: the official translation of the novels is not considered fully accurate to the original chinese. i am not immune to making mistakes, either. please take my posts with a grain of salt.

BECAUSE this is a casual project from someone whose only credentials are being completely obsessed with mo dao zu shi and knowing how to write an essay, anyone is welcome to make a blog that does this but. better. let me know if you start one and i'll point people your way lol.

finally: i will NOT be entertaining any character bashing in or on my blog. again, this is not a personal opinion-based blog, i'm looking at textual support, so honestly i don't think this disclaimer is necessary. but. just in case.

💥💥the rating system:💥💥

CANON: what it says on the tin! this fact is supported by the text. if you're trying to be as canon-compliant as possible, this rating is for you.

RUMOR: this fact is an in-text rumor. although this idea is mentioned in the novel, it's still not explicitly confirmed as canon. the characters themselves don't know if it's true or not!

FANON – SUPPORTED: not directly stated in canon, but it's a very likely interpretation, taking into account factors like cultural norms and occam's razor! this rating might be retroactively added to a post previously rated FANON – NEUTRAL, based on crowdsourced information about the raws or chinese culture.

FANON – NEUTRAL: it's not canon, but it's not NOT canon. the text neither confirms nor denies this interpretation, so it's up to you whether you want to consider it true to canon or not. the world is your oyster.

FANON – UNSUPPORTED: not directly stated in canon, but it's a very unlikely interpretation, taking into account factors like cultural norms and occam's razor. this rating might be retroactively added to a post previously rated FANON – NEUTRAL, based on crowdsourced information about the raws or chinese culture.

FANON – CONFLICTING: this idea directly contradicts something stated in the text. if you want to stay as canon-compliant as possible, this rating is not for you.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs meta #here goes nothing i suppose #i want you all to picture the 💥 emoji as if 'the rating system' was a youtube title screen with a bunch of explosions and air horns btw

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tenjikufag · 26 days

Note

Had a worm in my brain,

From all your favorites/the men you write about, least to most likely, would cheat on you/the reader?

More so curious lol, not too big on cheater fics but an question itch was there

Trick question- none of them. Because we are so perfect we are the best boyfriends these characters will ever get and we are their world

BUT!

I’ll indulge that worm of yours with little hcs. (From least to most likely). These are from a select few characters I’ve written for- as my personal favourite charas are a bit too ambiguous for this question. KINDA LONG. Read under the cut.

Starting off STRONG is

Laios Touden.

He would never cheat, never crosses his mind, hell he barely entertains or perceives new friendships/dynamics. The fact you’d managed to reel this man in with how distracted and scatter brained he is, is a testament to the strong bond the two of you have. On a good day, he’s still off somewhere in the clouds of his mind that are full of the many ideas and quarries he has about everything- on a bad day, where he cannot bare to give even a single thought to even his current fixations of research- you’re there. Underneath everything that he is, you are the net that catches him from falling too far. Laios would never, ever, hurt you in such a way. Loyal to a fault if you had not reciprocated the feeling.

Jiyan

He’s loyal, respectful, humble, and protective. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’d be anything but faithful to you, his one and only. Aside from the obvious of him not having time to fool around with someone other than you, it’s simply mentally tasking to think of anyone but you. You’re the only thing keeping him grounded, with the hellish occupation he’s found himself in you’re the constant in his routine and always been the silver lining of everything. If he can’t find the will to get up, his body crying for rest and maybe even begging him to give up to let the world crumble at his feet; you are the reason he gets up to fight another day. The reason he pushes himself on those days where everything is simply too much. If he can protect you, it’s worth more than seeing the sun rise another day. You’re his everything, and dedicated is what he will be till the end of his days, he only wishes that it will be by your side.

Bokuto

Come on! Do you really think he’d do that? Man has a heart of gold, determination behind the gold in his eyes and nothing but zest of life exuding from his every action. Really, the only thing he may be emotionally cheating on you with is volleyball. But even then, you’re the mistress to his first love. Anyways, once he’s dedicated, it’s for the long haul. He’s chosen you as a life partner off the bat, this dating is not casual by any means. Dating for the fun of it is not his prerogative, he dates for the end goal of having someone to spend his eventual retirement with! Marriage would seem like an end goal but he’s a big picture kinda guy, even if he is very much live in the moment everything he does has a purpose in his mind. You are a conscious choice, not just a fleeting decision that he’s going to let go of once things get tough. He’s working hard at this, any doubts you have for him better go out the window or get washed in the laundry along with the rest of the dirt. Bokuto would never. You’re his and you’re stuck with him. There’s no other option for him! You’re the gold!

Now, onto the more likely or could possibly.

Izana Kurokawa

Listen, I love the man. But, you don’t end up running with the largest underground crime rings having the most sound mind. Sure, he loves you and such but I do think that a fleeting moment of pure desire could nudge him into it. And I say nudge because he wouldn’t need a push, he doesn’t expect good things in this life so why let you break things off and hurt him first when he could hurt you first? Sound planning in his head, even if he knows you’d never do what he’s doing. It’ll hurt, he won’t leave you to find out either. He’s straightforward despite being slick of the tongue, it’s a passive confession. If he didn’t do it, he will still inform you of what he could’ve done. Whether it be that he feels like he owes it to you to know, or if he simply wants a reaction from you, it’s undecided and really, he wouldn’t know himself. It’s ambiguous. You could be raising every star in the sky for him but if there ever comes a deal or situation where his morals and loyalty to you is put to the test.. he can’t promise you would give him a passing grade.

Gojo Satoru

Walk with me here, he’s a loser. Canonically does not get anything, no one would dare be in his vicinity without reason and he really does not come off as nearly desirable to the general public as many would believe. So imagine with that in mind, the moment he gets attention from someone without the need to know him intimately/emotionally like you do, he could falter. He’s a man of always assuming the grass is greener, that there’s always something better, and to be quite Frank, even if he does have a way with words he isn’t that socially equip to decipher that these said events are fleeting moments. You’ll be there for him when he gets home, you know him in a way he doesn’t know fulfills needs he hasn’t ever gone without to realize they are needs so when propositioned I can’t imagine that he wouldn’t act on it. Im possibly biased because I just wrote a fic of him cheating (and I really don’t like him) but he’s incredibly inept. Conniving yes, smart yes, but is he perceptive to his own emotions and what he’s actually giving up and sacrificing? Im not too convinced.

Denji

(tw for internalized homophobia etc)

Yeah yeah I can imagine the groans and sighs from here, give it up. He’s always liked girls, him liking you feels like a one off even if he’s rubbing one’s out on the regular to the filth he reads about guys and porno mags of gay dudes. If a girl ever came around and he happened to actually feel some form of interest in her I can’t imagine him not giving it a chance. It’s what you’re meant to do right? Being with a chick probably feels way better in his mind, you’re a one off relationship and he’s sure he’s gonna have more after you because everyone has more than one relationship right? Maybe he’ll “get it right” once he’s with a girl, even if he finds out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be- maybe he doesn’t even like it. He’s a young adult, a naive one at that. Being privy to almost anything but romantic/sexual relationships or even his own attractions- his own need to be accepted and live a normal life tugs at him to do it. Being gay isn’t normal in his mind, to society it’s odd and he is already weird enough on his own- being with a girl would possibly make him feel more… normal. It’s complex, but I do think he may do it just for the fact that it seems like the right thing to do.

-THATS ALLLL, I tried to do a couple series but if you had any specific character in mind that isn’t here I’d happily give you my thoughts. :) again, cheating fics and prompts aren’t my strong suit so this could be totally not what your worm wanted to hear. Anyways, thank you for reading my rambles.

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eerna · 1 year

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so how's fourth wing so far :]

CHECK IN TIME! OK so I am on chapter 22, which is the 51% mark of the book. I continue to be disappointed, but now I have read enough of the book to know I'm not overreacting or judging too early.

Anachronisms continue to run rampant. At one point the MC uses the expression "Are our wires crossed?", which is an explicit reference to telephones, meaning this world has telephones but not pens. This could have easily been a modern fantasy and better for it, there is 0 reason for keeping it a historical setting.

I am on chapter 22 approximately because I actually accidentally fell asleep during Amber's trial and it was so insanely ridiculous I just signed off, and then rewinded to the beginning of the chapter when I woke up. Dain not believing his best freind in the entire world and a bunch of other people because "AMBER LOVES RULES TOO MUCH TO BREAK THEM!!" is one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen.

The characters.... Good lord literally everyone is just an empty shell of a person, someone who serves a certain role in the story and nothing else. It's been a while since I read a book where not a single character gave me anything to work with. That includes bad things I could complain about, or flaws. No one dares step a toe outside the stereotypical roles - wow, here's the Petite Delicate MC With Hidden Power, her Overprotective Childhood Best Friend (well ok he is depicted as bad in this one but more on that later), her Fun Extroverted New Best Friend, the Mysterious Brooding Dark Haired Bad Boy, the Evil Bitch, the Craaaaazy Murderous Competitor....... Like damn give me SOMETHING.

The deaths that people say raise the stakes and feel brutal and realistic are really funny to me because it is Super Obvious who is gonna be next to die. Why are we suddenly focusing on this random background character? Because they are gonna perish next page. Please pretend to be shocked when it happens. Rinse and repeat.

Ngl the "our dragons are mates and that means we are gonna be serving the army together for the rest of their lives also gotta learn how to work together" as a forced proximity method is an absolutely amazing idea. Too bad I feel nothing for this specific combination of characters.

The romance is so immature. It's not even SJM level relationship development. So Violet is in love with her childhood best friend, but then decides she doesn't want to be with him because there is no "spark" when they kiss. Not because he is controlling and belittles her and has no faith in her. Oh no. It's about how she can't even look at Xaden without getting horny!!!! It's about how she hates him as a person but his BODYYY WOWWWW YUMMMMM!!!! PLENTY of sparks!! At one point she describes his cousin and feels the need to specify the two look similar, but she is NOT physically attracted to him, which is just so funny. The book is still painfully straight and treats me to the "Big Burly Muscular Man and his Tiny Dainty Little Woman" shtick.

It's the EPITOME of those "imagine a book where..." tiktoks. Ohhhh the villain is KILLIN PEOPLE to SAVE THE MC even though she thought HE HATED HER..... Oooohhh he has DARK HAIR and ENCOURAGES HER TO BE STRONG....... Ooooooh the MC has bnded to THE STRONGEST DRAGON EVER and also HAS TWO BONDED DRAGONS which has NEVERRR HAPPENED BEFORE...... It feels like a collection of out-of-context quotes meant to be shown as a greenscreen backdrop while the reader pretends to be screaming into their hand in the foreground.

All in all. I am still not enraged angry the way some other books from the book club have made me, but we still haven't reached the smut so there's plenty of time for the nosedive. I'm just reading this and wondering why this specifically was chosen as the next Big Thing. What makes it special??? I see Nothing. Maybe I will find out if I keep going - I don't personally have to like it, but I'd like to figure out why so many other people do.

#eernask #eernanon

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suzukiblu · 5 months

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May I ask how you got people interested in your works? You have so many people who love your writing (rightfully so bc you're awesome) and I just want to find some people who like my writing like you did

ik that I should be writing for myself and everything, and for the most part I am! I write bc I like writing and it makes me happy! But it's just so so discouraging to see my little silly posts that take me 5 minutes to make do fantastic, meanwhile the works that take me weeks of effort get like 3 notes yk?

How do you do it? Did you ever deal with something similar? Any words of wisdom for the struggling noobs?

(This is a genuine question, I'm not trying to be rude in any way shape or form and I'm very sorry if it came off like that) (Also sorry to bother you)

You’re good, I’m not bothered by questions and I don’t think you’re asking anything rude either! I especially don’t mind the “please explain this thing I don’t know much about to me” type of questions, there’s just some shit you can’t effectively google or things that just make more sense coming from someone with direct experience.

First and foremost: the two cakes meme is law!! No one will ever complain about getting two cakes, no matter if you think someone else already did it better!

Second and second-most: as a newbie, before you read any of my advice at all, remember that you're currently comparing yourself to someone who’s been writing fic for their entire writing experience and has also been in fandom on and off for pretty much all of that time on multiple sites and through at least a couple major migrations of fandom hubs, and that time has been about twenty-five years now. Like, it has very much been a long-term process, me learning how to find a receptive audience for my stuff. Also I am a grown-ass adult who is currently pushing forty and am pretty self-aware of who I am as a person due to a WHOLE lot of personal introspection and therapy and general life experience. Like, I know how I work at this point in my life, if nothing else.

The long-form answer of my personal fandom process will definitely require a cut at this point, though, haha. Like, this got kind of involved, ngl, but since you’re asking I figure it’s reasonable to go into detail.

So anyway, the “how to find your audience” answer is obviously gonna be different for everybody, but PERSONALLY, I've been in fandom for a long-ass time and just about always been pretty prolific and consistently communicative and available during the times I was around. I have a ton of different fandoms and fics in my history and have run into a lot of different people and written a lot of different things over the years, so I've cast a pretty wide net of options for people to find me through. I've got readers who've followed me through multiple fandoms and even deliberately gotten into new ones because of me just because they like how I write and know me well enough from my other writing to trust that I’ll be respectful of certain things (or at least put in a good-faith effort to be). Your kink is not my kink, but I’m not gonna hate on it; your thing is not my thing, but you have fun over there, you DO your thing!

Being prolific is super-helpful, of course, because that gets people in the habit of checking in on you regularly and keeps you fresh in their minds, but one of the most effective ways I’ve gotten people long-term interested in my work is by being very responsive to readers and very open about what I’m currently working on. Taking requests has helped, asking who wants to see more of what has helped, talking to people in general has helped, and definitely playing “yes, and?” with ideas I’ve been offered has helped. Also I had the benefit of LiveJournal being one of my main fandom hubs for a while, where I met a lot of people and got in the habit of talking to them in a way Tumblr does not necessarily intuitively facilitate, so that’s just a habit for me.

I definitely still produce stuff that comparatively flops and get bummed about it, it’s just a thing I’ve gotten used to over the years and so I either kill my darlings and move on to the next thing or I decide “naw, I’m still into this idea, I’mma work on it more anyway”. That’s obviously much easier when at least a couple other people are also into said idea, but still, it’s a thing you just gotta decide for yourself either way. Like I’ve DEFINITELY had stuff I slaved over get just about totally ignored while things I only tossed up on a whim off the top of my head or just intended as jokes people adored and resonated with way more, which is part of why I do so many WIP memes where I’m drip-feeding bits and pieces of content more regularly. One of my recent fics didn’t get near as much of a reception or interest on AO3 as I’d hoped it would, but when I was writing it on Tumblr people DID get excited for and enjoy it during the process, so that helped soothe that particular indignity/frustration for me.

Also, I’ve gotten enough people invested in my writing at this point that it’s much easier for me than it is for some writers, because I can do things like ask “hey what do you guys like/want to see more of?” and I’ll pretty much always get an answer, simply because so many people are in the habit of regularly checking on my blog and talking to me now. Polls are very helpful that way too, because it’s a functionally anonymous way for shyer people or people who are just casually scrolling their dash to give you an idea of what they’re enjoying from you without having to disrupt their flow or psych themselves up or anything like that. Like, it’s low-pressure, you know? I have done a LOT of polls since I found out Tumblr has those now.

I also constantly encourage people to both talk to me about and also play with my interpretations and AUs as they so please, and I deliberately cultivate responsive relationships with as many readers as I can. I don’t always have the spoons to answer every ask, but I always try to answer the majority of them and try not to ignore questions. A significant chunk of people have told me that they read tropes and AUs from me that they hate from other writers because they just trust that I’ll write it in a way that they can enjoy. I will include certain things and a certain level of respect that they just would not be comfortable without, and if I don’t have those things in there or there’s a common trigger, I’ll at least have done my best to tag for it. And I listen to people who tell me when I’m fucking up and I either take reasonable accommodations or change my behavior where appropriate. I tag for common triggers, I don’t use terms I’ve been told are insults or slurs, I try not to associate negative connotations with physical characteristics or things people can’t change about themselves, and when I have a reflexive “squick” reaction, I try not to assume shit and try to examine my biases. Or I just back-button and move on, if it comes to it. I also do my best to assume the best of people until they prove that I should not be. I am very much going to de-escalate when and wherever I can.

I generally consider myself a low-drama blog and a low-drama person to follow, and put in effort to be that as best I can, and at this point I think (or at least hope) people feel relatively confident that they can talk to me without having to worry about immediately getting their head bitten off, which seems to be an increasing fear/concern that some people have in fandom. Therefore, I get people talking to me pretty regularly, because I’ve gone to the effort to be as approachable as I know how to make myself.

Also, yeah: above all else, write what you wanna write! Write your weird and niche dreams! Trust me, somebody out there LOVES your weird and niche dreams and wants all the deets on ‘em. I get the most engagement and interest when I just write what I really wanna see and don’t particularly worry about how goddamn weird I think I’m being. People are actually gonna be EXCITED about how goddamn weird I think I’m being, because a lot of them want it too and they’re not finding it as easily as a lot of the more popular stuff.

So like . . . hope at least some of that was helpful, feel free to ask follow-up questions if you have any, hah.

#anonymous #rintalk

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