#i haven't felt this hurt in a while

[itmightneverbetherighttime]

...

[ctl-yuejie]

I adore WinTeam but P’Pruek is the true delight.

His face when Win told him and Dean that he had already slept with Team.

Truely the expression of a man who is well-meaning but about to smile very widely at the kind of psychological damage that has been suddenly unleashed on him

[daz4i]

dude i cried so much today i stood in the kitchen and cried i sat at the table and cried i cried while getting dressed i cried in the shower i cried outside the clinic i almost cried while walking down the street. don't wanna think how dehydrated i must be now jfc

[seapasture]

i am going to sit down and draw the gentlest scene one can possibly imagine, or the pure visual manifestation of unabashed fury. there will be no in-between (unless)

[foxgirlmoth]

So my life is feeling like its on an upward swing since this is my final semester for my associates, I'm starting a new job real soon and also possibly have a really nice remote job if I hear back from a few places I recently applied to.

And it always terrifies me when good stuff starts happening.

Change is really hard for me especially when it feels like its all at once. With better pay comes the opportunity to leave my parent's house finally and move in with a girl who has lovingly stolen my heart. With my school behind me I can find better jobs even!

But at the same time, its just. So scary for me. What if I can't keep up my part of rent. What if my chronic pain or ADHD or other disabilities put a strain on someone I love to my core, and I end up making things worse because I get extremely emotional and will scream (at myself mostly) and panic during these high stress times (especially if money is involved)

I've had a 'safety net' of family members who barely tolerate the fake me I present myself as, and I know my mental health is going to be so much better when I'm not around them, but at the same time I need so much help sometimes. Family just happens to help in terms of shelter and food. It also doesn't help that the one other time I moved out it ended so so poorly that I'm still working through that trauma.

Hurting the love of my life in any way fucking terrifies me. I want nothing but the best for her always always always. I just know I can't always be at my best, its impossible to be. I will break at some point and probably scream and cry about how things aren't going nearly to plan and I'm so weak so often I don't know if I can pull myself together fast enough to not hurt myself or her with my untrue words.

[sysig]

Come back as a flower, spring Baby

Tala took it pretty hard. Makes sense

Hopefully, anyway. Live food that has the opportunity to hide can be hard to keep track of, so it’s possible they were stressed too... But at least that would be something familiar, not a big scary shadow to run away from

Even selfish, childish thoughts deserve a place to be recognized. There’s no utility in piling shame on top of grief

It felt really strange to logically know that they were gone but still believing so hard that I could somehow undo it, that they’d start moving again if I just did the right thing. Death really does strange things to the brain

[piplupod]

i dont understand when people say that when you are depressed all you want to do is isolate yourself, because while yeah sure I've experienced that to some degree, most of the time I would love to be around someone but I don't have anyone who actually cares or wants to help. all the people around me are unsafe. i dont have anybody who would just sit with me, who would listen and care, who would spend time with me without judging me badly for being unwell. i Want to be around someone who cares, but I don't have that, so I end up isolating to try to protect myself from further hurt while I'm already down and hurting.

[hpdgirlfriend]

emetophobia is so funny silly bcuz i will be scared of eating too much/eating at all bcuz i don't want to throw up & then be scared of not eating enough bcuz i again don't want to throw up. so im just scared. of everything

[returntotheground]

i was going to complain about waking up in a rage from a shitty dream i had except i realized i'm not even that upset about it because tbh i've had such a hard time feeling any type of real anger in years that i actually feel kind of relieved to see its ghost

[youremyonlyhope]

Officially crying over sad Disney songs yay.

[lemememeringue]

obvious in hindsight but I don't think I realised just how much depression was keeping me from Doing Stuff that I'd been attributing to my physical pain

[astrxealis]

merry christmas !!! :") <3

[noxtivagus]

euphrosyne ost

[scare-ard--sleigh]

okay so old college try came on and i think the Thing about joseph that i keep coming up against with fandom interpretation is that i don't see anger there, i see martyrdom

[artemismatchalatte]

Okay for real. I think what finally made me finally realize I was a lesbian and not bisexual was my reaction to Stone Butch Blues. 

I know Jess isn’t real. But I wanted to go fight everyone who ever hurt her and they aren’t real either. Like that was one of several really strong emotions I had while reading that I can’t remember feeling in a very long time. 

The intensity of my reactions didn’t seem like a straight reaction to that book. I was like oh, okay.