#i hope everyone knows infodumps are so welcome and if you tell me about a fucked up deep sea creature i am kissing you on the lips

[just-some-guy-joust]

@ the anon who just sent me more info about their submitted creature, i won't answer it right now for a few reasons but im madly in love with you please keep telling me worm facts I'm laying with my head on my hands kicking my legs in the air cutely

[alittlefanatic]

Finny Feelie! The Puppet about Feelings!

"Albeit quiet, Finny Feelie is the kindest neighbor anyone could ask for! With her nose in her books, she's always making discoveries and learning more about emotions. Kind, understanding, and always willing to listen, there's never an emotion Finny didn't know how to deal with!"

According to uncovered scripts, Finny wasn't very prominent in Welcome Home! Many parents thought she made the show too serious, and that the show should be focused more on fun! Any episodes where she was involved though, she seemed to help neighbors with their problems, particularly emotional ones.

Finny was also known as the 'therapist' puppet because of her knowledge of emotions! She left her old quiet town and moved to Home so she could take care of her own feelings, which were "pretty big in her old town "big feelings" as she would say,

Recent evidence reveals that she has a sleeping problem, and struggles getting rest! But many thought that would encourage kids to want to stay up later, so it was eventually scrapped from production

Extra Fun Facts about Finny!

😊 If it wasn't noticed, Finny is an Insomniac! She struggles to get rest and often has sleepless nights! Because of this, she will often call Wally, as he has told her he has trouble sleeping also!

😊 She is a very big bookworm! She loves to study psychology and learn why we act the way we do! She feels if everyone could gain a little knowledge, there would be fewer arguments in the world and more understanding!

😊 Because of this knowledge, she infodumps ALOT! Probably too much! She will often have a very intelligent conversation with Frank! Despite this though, she is a great listener and will help others come to solutions, or help recognize what they are feeling.

😊 She often ends up prioritizing others' needs rather than her own. She feels as if she can take care of herself! But she often forgets what she tells others: "You don't have to go through it alone."

😊 She loves blueberries! Especially blueberry tarts! They're surprisingly sweet!

😊 You will find her sitting outside on a rainy day. She will be drenched. She doesn't exactly know why, but the rain makes her feel at home.

😊 She has a sticker sheet of a bunch of smiley faces and other emotions, as well as stars and rainbows!

😊 She is a Demiromatic! AKA: People who are demiromantic need to feel an emotional connection with someone before they can feel romantic toward them.

For Story Purposes...

☹️ She cannot remember her old town, nor how she made it to Home.

☹️ Despite her wanting to sleep, she's often plagued with nightmares...they seem familiar but yet all too distant...they couldn't be memories, right?

☹️ This is also her reason for learning about the brain and emotions: maybe she can try to figure out what she is experiencing, and maybe figure out the whole mystery of where she came from, who she is, and what she's doing at Home.

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE HER! I might use her in future stories, so I wanted to go ahead and create her now!

You may use her in your own stories/art as long as you give credit to me and tag me! AND As long as you respect Clown's Boundaries. NOTHING NSFW!

Until then, I hope you enjoy our New Neighbor! @:)

[thatspookyagent]

Dating Inumaki Toge (Black!GN!Reader) would include…

Warnings: Literally nothing but tooth rooting fluff lmao

a/n: Greetings to anyone who stumbles along this fic and decides to read it! This is my first time writing for the JJK universe and I hope that y’all enjoy! Side note: These headcanons are long cause I got carried away writing for my favorite JJK character and one of my favorite anime characters of all time. So please excuse the ramblings and infodumping style headcanons lmao. Expect more from me that has to do with JJK especially when it comes to Inumaki content. Also smol heads up, I low-key wrote this with a darker skinned!reader and 4type hair!reader in mind unapologetically so oop!! Anyways please have a fun time reading this and remember to reblog it if you ended up enjoying it! :))

If you want to be tagged in any of my content, don’t be afraid to tell me via my ask box or through messages! Just remember to be clear about what specific kinds of content, characters, and fandoms you want me to tag you in or if you want to be put on my general tag list! I’m always looking to add more people and I’d be more than happy to add you (if you wish)! :3

Where to start with Inumaki, how about imagining the softest & most wholesome relationship that you possibly can that transcends words and in fact doesn’t need them in order for your relationship with him to function or feel complete/valid

Your relationship together functions a lot on both the little things in life but also the little gestures in life that convey things that most words (or signs) cannot

Not that signing or speaking is any less valuable, Inumaki is more than willing to teach you some Japanese Sign Language

Though you’ve got the food language down pat

No really Inumaki will reply with rice ball ingredients and you’ll dissect what he’s saying better than a world renowned English professor

This fascinates literally everyone that y’all come across, hell even for as long as Maki and Panda have known and come to understand and decipher what Inumaki says, they’re still in awe at how you read and communicate with him

You swear that it’s all in the eyes and it really is

Toge doesn't really hold back emotions or suppress his thoughts about something around anyone in general so that helped with understanding him immensely

You’ve come to be able read every little crease and fold that Inumaki’s face will make within various moods like tea leaves

At times you even know his mood better than he does and vice versa

For as much as you’ve learned about him, he’s made sure that he’s done his due diligence and done the same for you

For some people that would frighten them because it means no longer being able to really hide certain parts of yourself or certain emotions during tough times

However the two of you welcome this intimacy and vulnerability, though it of course took sometime and learning

Especially when it came to recognizing and accepting that physical touch would be a main form of communicating between the both of you

Goodnight kisses are often animal kisses, which holds a lot of meaning for Toge since he has to let his high collar down in order for you two to touch and rub noses together

It was an incredibly nervous and anxious moment for him when you suggested animal kisses as a form of affection for the first time

To make him feel better you asked him to close his eyes and by the end it left him wanting more

Which he gladly stole from you cause he’s That Guy™

Whenever you want some attention from Toge, you like to hold your hands out, palms facing upwards, and then allow him to come to you and proceed to settle his palms on top of yours

This gesture along with the touching of foreheads is such a frequent occurrence from you both

Expect Toge to always initiate forehead touches with you whenever you and him have to split up for a mission

These touches linger much longer than normal, and even have an added nuzzle in them

At times he'll close his eyes as if to relish and store the moment inside his stash of memories of you but also secretly wish you good luck internally

If you hold this boy's head with both of your hands while doing so he will melt on a nuclear scale :"

Honestly discussing which forms of intimacy to try out or implement usually happen over text, especially at later hours within the day

You love to huddle underneath the covers and just text away to Inumaki about anything and everything with only the screen of your phone to light up your room

He’s a pretty insight and thoughtful guy, regardless of how he personally chooses to express that

That thoughtfulness really shines when one day he requests to start helping you do your hair

If you have longer natural hair, he’ll watch tentatively and take notice of how much maintenance it requires

This also goes for any protective styles that you put your hair in that require work or any weaves that you use and maintain

Hell even if you have short ass hair, he will take note of how you care for it and yearn to aid you in doing so

Also does not mind if you just walk out the door with you hair in its natural shrunken state

So yeah from weaves to waves, this man will absolutely learn all that he can in order to make your hair care time run smoother

Feel like he’s the type to really be able to express how he doesn’t have the words to describe how much he’s in awe when your melanin shines in natural sunlight

Whenever you two are in public, he will unapologetically stare at your hands especially when he holds him

He does this thing were he’ll lift up your hand and try to get the sunlight to hit it at just the right angles

Gets routinely lost in thought whenever you’re around him and in broad daylight because he is yet again admiring your skin tone

Will try to collect and buy accessory items that he thinks best compliments it

Speaking of accessory items, he does enjoy crafting you little trinkets and baubles for you to either wear or just keep around you

If you make him something he’ll honestly short circuit, like no really Toge has left the chat that is life!

Will keep that item on him at all times, whether it be visible or not, he just prioritizes how it makes him feel to wear it and know who made it and gave it to him

Loves to look at and caress it before he goes to bed and after he wakes up in the morning

He'll want more stuff for decoration and what not for his room so that he'll have items that you have made and remind him of you in his personal space

Also I forgot to mention, you and Inumaki also speak through hugging

No really like whenever you two hug in public or just in front of other people, when you and him pull apart, you’ll reply to whatever his hug was meant to convey

Like you and Toge are having a full blown conversation with hugs and no spoken or signed word and it will make jaws drop

Certain squeezes in certain areas for a certain time all have their own little individual messages within the nuances of the actions

Sometimes it’s obvious to everyone what Toge means to tell you or vice versa cause there’s a chance that he might not ever see you again and is making sure that if this is the last time that he’ll ever hug you, you best know loud and clear what he’s trying to get across to you in that moment

But there’s also touches for less intense moments that are just meant to be cute and endearing and not really read deeply into as well

Like whenever you boop Toge’s nose or poke his side playfully, it’s pretty much a form of playful banter between you two but without spoken word

I feel like I’ve been talking about mainly touch or non verbal communication a lot so onto some headcanons that don’t revolve around that lmao

I feel like Toge and his partner would be two incredibly mischievous people or at least Toge would convince his partner into partaking in some shenanigans every once in a while

Like they’re two little shits in a pod but nobody ever sees them coming, guesses that it was them, or believes others when people call them out sksks

Being a little shit with Toge includes pulling light pranks, annoying people with your excellent sense of understanding between one another, and photobombing anyone and everyone

Like no y’all will do this thing that’s almost like a skit where you and him just talk back and forth in rice ball ingredients and you’ll catch and understand literally everything that he’s saying but others can NOT understand the both of you and it drives them MAD

You've undoubtedly pissed off both Maki and Megumi the most with your antics while giving Itadori brain rot whiplash cause that boy isn't smart enough to understand you two and takes the conversations way too seriously

Also for the photobombing people, you have formations and plans for those moments and it’s almost like you two choreographed photobomb poses n stuff

[Cue the Formation B line that Gojo says but its you saying it and rushing alongside Toge to jump into camera view of someone’s family vacation photo

Some people don’t mind or care, others join in on the fun, while some have some color words to exchange with you and Toge lmao

Also feel like Inumaki is a pretty good gamer so despite your personal skill level, he will always be down to chill and play something that the two of you can really get into together

Oh and if you know how to play a musical instrument, Toge will jump to organize a little jam session with you before you can even blink

Expect there to also be movie nights and show binge watching with Toge as well, like you have not LIVED till you have seen this man scream OKAKA !!! at the TV cause a show ended on a cliffhanger after being cancelled

Eventually you join in on yelling rice ball ingredients at TV screens while also throwing popcorn cause screw shows ending on cliffhangers permanently

You and him absolutely share playlists and watchlists of any kind together

Whatever you listen to will get absorbed into whatever Toge listens to, and he’ll play your favs whenever he’s thinking about you or about to walk out the door to start his daily training

If he catches you listening to what he likes to listen to personally or songs he’s recommended you based on your own personal taste, expect him to bring that up and how happy it makes him during your daily midnight texting convos with each other

Music is a bit of a key part within your relationship with him cause it expresses another form of intimacy between you and him that can sometimes incorporate words or not

It symbolizes and mirrors a ton of similarities within your relationship while being a way to communicate non verbally with one another while embracing so many complex emotions, all at the same time

This is the main reason why he steals you away to slow dance to something playfully or just bask in some tunes that either you or him found and shared with each other

For him he never wants the music to stop, he wants what the two of you have to persist and stay closely intertwined with one another

No matter what tune or melody is currently playing in your life, as long as he has you for a dancing partner, he’ll face the dance floor with you on it by his side 

[artsybug0]

OMG HI HI! First of all, love Millie! Also I noticed that my welcome home OC is *very* similar to her, they’re both pink, have a love theme, and they both like Wally! I thought of a funny idea where both of our welcome home OC’s are either fighting over Wally or are just like ‘well you exist’ I hope to post my OC soon so I can infodump more on him!

Oh, how cute! I love it when people tell me about how their Oc’s are similar to Millie in some way! Their always so excited to tell me, it's adorable!

It really depends on which Millie you're interacting with! But here's a little chart if they would fight you for Wally or not haha!

Og Millie: she shares everything, and she and Wally aren't actually official yet so she would cheer you on if you like Wally too!

Actor Millie: She and Wally are official! (she isn't canon to the Actor Au so no worries, you can still ship your OC's with Actor Wally!) though I guess currently they are broken up because of what's going on in my TikTok😔. But even if they're broken up, she would still fight you about him. And I mean literally fight you, she can and will beat you to a pulp haha!

RF Millie: She and Wally are not official! But she is very positive of him! She wouldn't physically fight you, but she would be very passive-aggressive towards you.

Gothic/Punk Millie: She couldn't care less honestly haha! She gets with everyone so she knows how to share and if you want to get with Wally go ahead. Though it's doubtful he would even accept your feelings. (he's a little bitch sometimes lol)

(I currently can't think of any other Millie Aus but if you have one you wanna ask if she fights or lets you have them let me know and ill happily answer!)

[maybeimamuppet]

mother

hello everyone!! happy wednesday i hope you’re having a wonderful one!! welcome to the first ever fic for this fandom i cried writing lol. was expecting this to take me about three months but i finished it in ~24 hours so. here it is!! 

it’s another for @masterajoy314 who requested matilda calling miss honey mum for the first time as well as chaoscretin527 on ao3 who requested matilda getting in a little bit of trouble and her infodumping about special interests :))

tw for

minor injuries/mentioned blood

mentioned child abuse 

bullying kinda

discussion of death

phobias (specifically dogs)

and as always if i’ve missed something please let me know and i’ll add it as soon as i can :))

enjoy!

—————

one.

Jenny sighs contently under the peaceful light of the afternoon sun. Some starlings chirp overhead, swirling in their great swarms through the sky. Jenny smiles up at them, using one of her hands to shield her eyes from the bright sunlight. 

Matilda runs around her to get out some of her energy, prattling off facts about mice she'd read in that day's book. 

"Careful, darling," Jenny says as Matilda starts climbing the old oak tree she's resting in the shade beneath. 

"I will be!" Matilda says, in one of those exasperated child tones. Jenny chuckles and settles back in, picking up the novel she'd brought with her to read. Matilda continues her facts as she skillfully maneuvers herself between the branches and leans out like Tarzan over the horizon. 

Jenny startles as she suddenly hears a crack and Matilda yelps, followed by a dull thud. "Matilda!" 

Matilda rubs her head and looks up at her from the ground. The broken branch is still wrapped in her other fist. Jenny crouches down next to her and frantically starts looking her over. 

"Are you alright, darling?" 

"I think so," Matilda groans. "Ouch." 

Jenny notices her knees and elbows are scraped and bleeding a bit. She sighs in relief. With the way she fell, Matilda could've easily broken something or sprained something else. 

"You're bleeding. Let's go get you patched up," Jenny says. Matilda stands and hobbles after her back towards the house on her sore legs. 

Jenny leads her to the kitchen and hoists her up onto the counter next to the sink. Matilda sits and watches her as Jenny goes to fetch the first aid kit from the hall closet and comes back. Jenny wets a cloth and gently presses it against the first knee. Matilda hisses and winces. 

"Sorry, love. Almost done," she says. Matilda looks at her through squinted eyes. Jenny cleans the blood off so she can get a better look at her scrapes. They aren't terribly big given the fall she had, but they're clearly smarting. Jenny soaks a cloth pad in some wound-cleaning solution. "This'll sting a bit. Ready?" 

Matilda gently reaches for her free hand and nods. Jenny gives her a squeeze and gently presses the pad against her knee to sanitize it. 

"Stops any germs getting in there. All done," Jenny says. Matilda's wounds get covered in bandages with fun patterns and she's popped back on the ground. "Let's stay on the ground for a little while, hm?" 

"Definitely," Matilda agrees with a giggle. "Thanks, mu- uh. Miss Honey." 

Jenny quirks her head at Matilda's stumble, but smiles. "You're very welcome, love."

————

two.

Jenny jumps when Matilda slams the door to their house closed. She'd stayed home today, since all the issues that needed the attention of the headmistress had been resolved and Jenny was in desperate need of a break. She'd walked Matilda to school, kissed her goodbye, and returned home for a day spent with a nice book. 

Jenny frowns in concern and stands from the sofa to go check on the child. "Matilda, what's going on?" 

"I don't want to talk about it," Matilda half-yells. Jenny can tell she wants to shout, but Matilda doesn't seem to be able to. Jenny frowns in concern when Matilda wipes angry tears from her eyes. 

"Are you sure? You're obviously upset, lo-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" Matilda yells properly this time. 

"Matilda," Jenny says, loving and warning at the same time. "I'll be here if you change your mind, alright?"

"I won't! I'm not going to change my mind, I don't want to talk and I don't ever want to tell you anything ever again!" Matilda insists. 

"Matilda, where is this coming from, love?" 

"Don't call me that!" Matilda seethes. 

Jenny finds herself taking a step away from the child subconsciously. Something about an angry Matilda is terribly frightening. Especially aimed at her. She's half-expecting the furniture to start floating and swirling around them like a hurricane, threateningly looming ever closer. 

Matilda breaks down sobbing.

"Don't call me that because you don't mean it!" she yells. 

"Of course I do," Jenny says. "I love you."

"Then why are you sending me away?!" Matilda bellows around a sob. 

"What? Darling, I'd never send you away, what are you talking about?" Jenny asks in shock. 

"A boy at school said-said you were sending me back because my parents were right and-and nobody can love me! Not even you! And you can't deal with me-me anymore and you're sending me away for good!" 

Jenny gasps. She knows Matilda doesn't want it now, but she staggers forwards and gently takes her hands, sitting them both down on the staircase. "Oh, darling. That isn't true, I promise. I swear to you I'll never send you away. I know how much those thoughts can hurt-"

"No you don't!" Matilda insists with her tearful wrath. "You don't know how it hurts because your parents wanted you! They loved you but they're dead! Your parents aren't coming back because they're dead and they can't! Mine aren't coming back because they hate me!" 

Jenny is quiet, blinking back wounded tears. Hurt people hurt people, she reminds herself. It isn't personal. Whoever this boy is struck Matilda's deepest nerve. The temptation is certainly there to yell back, insist Matilda use her indoor voice or demand respect or insist she never use words like that under her roof ever again. But she knows all that will do is feed Matilda's worry and exasperate the whole situation. 

She takes a few good deep breaths before she says, "You're right, I don't understand. I'll never be able to understand a lot of the pain you feel. But I can still sympathize. I know how afraid and hurt and angry you must be feeling right now.

"But I will never send you back to those people or away anywhere I can't go with you. I made you a promise when I got custody of you. I asked your father to let you stay with me because I wanted you with me, darling. That hasn't changed. It never will." 

Matilda looks at her, suddenly seeming so... meek. Sheepish. She looks downright pitiful. Her lower lip quivers before she desperately sobs, "Why didn't they want me?" 

Jenny gently pulls the child to her. Matilda weeps brokenly against her breast, her hand curled limply against Jenny's shoulder. "I don't know, love. Some people are just... mean. I ask myself every day how some people can be so horrid to innocent children. Your parents especially." 

Matilda hesitates before she scoots herself closer, almost like she isn't sure she deserves it. Jenny tugs her tighter against herself. 

"But the one thing I know for certain is that they were wrong. About a lot of things, but most especially about you. You're an absolute wonder. You're smart, and sweet, and polite, and funny, and so many more fantastic things. Your parents are the stupid ones. I wish... I wish for your sake they'd opened their eyes and realized what a gift and what a blessing they got when they had you. But I saw it the day I met you, darling. I'm so lucky to get to have you in my life this way." 

"You-you're really not... not giving me back?" 

"I swear I will never give you back," Jenny promises, rocking Matilda back and forth a little bit. 

"Even-even though I was so horrid?" Matilda chokes. 

Jenny pulls Matilda back a little bit. Cups her little face in her hands and uses her thumbs to gently wipe tears off her pink cheeks. "You weren't horrid. You said things that were, but you're hurting. You could never be horrid. And no matter what happens, I will not give you back." 

"I'm sorry, mum- Miss Honey," Matilda sniffles. 

"I forgive you," Jenny says immediately. "But next time, let's try to breathe deep and rationalize before we get so angry and say things we can't take back, alright?" 

"I'm sorry," Matilda whimpers. 

"Shh, love, it's alright," Jenny hushes, letting Matilda cry against her again. Jenny gently strokes through her hair and holds her close. "It's all alright."

————-

three.

"Matilda, dinner!" Jenny calls. Matilda usually helps her cook, but she said her book was too good to put down today. Jenny understands. 

Matilda doesn't reply, however. That is odd. 

"Matilda?!" 

Jenny heads up to her bedroom and has to contain a brief panic when her child isn't there. Her window is open. Jenny peeks out and looks up and down the wall. All that's there is the ivy. Ivy. 

Jenny rushes out the back door and looks up. Sure enough, Matilda is... on the roof. "Matilda!" 

Matilda jumps. Jenny is already bracing to catch her. "Hi, Miss Honey!"

"What do you think you're doing up there?!" Jenny yells. 

"...Reading?" Matilda responds.

"Get down here right now," Jenny commands. Matilda blanches and tucks her book beneath her arm, wiggling her way back down the wall before landing with a small thud at Jenny's feet. 

"Hello."

"What on earth do you think you were doing?!" 

"I was only reading!" Matilda protests. 

"On the roof?!" Jenny asks incredulously.

"I do it all the time!" Matilda says. 

Jenny almost collapses. All the time? "Right. There'll have to be consequences for this."

Matilda staggers away from her, instinctively bringing her hands up a little to protect herself and looking at her in fright. Jenny softens for a moment. 

"Nothing like that. You're... grounded for the rest of the week. No books except for school and you're to stay inside unless I explicitly state you can leave the house," Jenny says. "Now go to your room, please."

"But why?" Matilda pleads.

"Because I said so, Matilda. We'll discuss this later." 

"But-"

"Matilda." 

Matilda nods and slowly walks off to her room. Jenny sighs, rubbing the ache away from the bridge of her nose and heading to eat her portion of dinner in the kitchen while she mulls over what to do with this child. I'm going to go grey early.

She waits until she can't anymore. Matilda must be hungry, and Jenny needs to see her with her own eyes to know she's really okay. 

Matilda's lying in bed when Jenny gently knocks on the door and enters her room. She's facing away from her, curled into a ball facing the wall, but Jenny can see her quivering. She's crying. 

Jenny gently approaches and sits at the foot of her bed, resting a loving hand against Matilda's lower leg. "It's alright, darling."

Matilda rolls over to look at her. Jenny frowns as she sees the pitiful, confused look in her eyes. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, ever. And you aren't in trouble. Not really. But you need some sort of consequence. It isn't safe on the roof. You could've fallen and gotten seriously hurt."

"But why? I-I know how to be careful," Matilda says, wiping her snotty nose on her sleeve. 

"I know you do. But you can't go on the roof anymore. Careful isn't enough to keep you safe in some circumstances, and this is one of them. And it's also important that I know where you are. You went up there without telling me. If you had fallen I wouldn't have known for... too long."

"What does grounding mean?" Matilda sniffles.

"Exactly what I said earlier. You'll stay here for the rest of the week, and you'll have to find some other way to entertain yourself than reading until then. That's your consequence." 

Matilda nods sadly. "Alright." 

"I know it isn't fun, and it might not feel fair to you. But there has to be some... some balance. Alright? It'll be done before you know it."

Jenny almost doesn't want to continue with the punishment now that she sees her pitiful child all curled up and miserable in bed, but she knows it's necessary. Matilda nods again.

"Come get your dinner. You must be hungry."

"Dinner?" Matilda asks. "I... I still get..."

"You'll always get your food, Matilda. That's a right, not a privilege," Jenny says. Matilda takes her hand and pulls herself out of bed to follow her downstairs.

"I'm sorry, mum- er... Miss Honey."

"Thank you for apologizing. I'm sorry for losing control earlier," Jenny says. 

"It's alright," Matilda says with another small sniffle.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

————

four.

Jenny sighs quietly to herself as she wakes up to the sound of rain slamming against her window. 

She doesn't mind the rain all that much. It's always nice to have an excuse to stay inside with a book and a nice cuppa, but it's still so dreary. 

The sun always reminds her of her mother. She was so young when her mother passed away. All she remembers of her is the warmth she carried. The brightness. The way she shone. 

Rain blocks that. The grey skies always put a damper on her mood, and sometimes the pressure changes give her a headache. Needless to say, rainy days aren't her favorite. 

Matilda is already awake when Jenny heads downstairs. Jenny smiles when she sees the back of that little head peering at the rain hammering against the window. 

Matilda turns when she hears Jenny's footsteps coming down the stairs and smiles. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Jenny echoes. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well, thank you," Matilda replies. She follows Jenny to the kitchen and helps her prepare breakfast. The storm continues to swirl outside. The torrential downpour shows no signs of slowing any time soon. 

"Can we go outside?" Matilda asks as they wash the dishes from breakfast. 

"Outside? It's raining cats and dogs!" Jenny chuckles. 

"What?" Matilda asks, looking up at her in confusion.

"That's just an expression. Means it's raining really hard," Jenny explains. 

"Oh," Matilda says. "I don't mind rain." 

"You'll catch your death out there," Jenny says warningly. Matilda looks at her again. "You'll get sick." 

"That's a myth. Being in a cold rain doesn't actually give you any illnesses. It just temporarily weakens your immune system and allows any germs that were already in your body to make you ill."

Jenny is the one with the confused look this time. "If you're so set on it, I suppose we can go out for a while. As long as you're bundled."

Matilda smiles happily and rushes off to get dressed. She comes back in a cozy sweater, some jeans, thick socks, and her rainbow rain boots. Jenny buttons herself into her raincoat before she does the same for Matilda and tugs up the hood on the red garment. 

Matilda happily goes bouncing off into the front yard and twirls around in the rain like something out of The Sound of Music. Jenny smiles watching her skip around in circles in the rain. 

"What are you doing?! Come on!" Matilda beckons with a laugh. Jenny rolls her eyes affectionately and hunches in on herself in a ditch attempt to stay somewhat dry. Matilda runs up and grabs her hand, running them both out to the middle of the clearing. Jenny shrieks a bit at the cold rain, but laughs as Matilda starts dancing around her in a circle. "Isn't it amazing?!" 

"It's certainly something," Jenny chuckles. They both have to shout a little bit just to be heard over the sound of the rain slamming down around them. 

"Come on!" Matilda calls again. Jenny gasps as she suddenly rushes off and runs to keep up with her. Matilda takes a great running start and pitches herself into a big puddle of mud. It splatters up over her, coating her boots and the bottoms of her jeans. Some inevitably will have gotten beneath her coat and onto her sweater. 

"Matilda," Jenny sighs. "Look at you, you're a mess!" 

Matilda comes back over to her. Stands directly in front of her. Squints accusingly up at her face. "You've forgotten."

"Forgotten what?" Jenny chuckles. "How to jump in a puddle?" 

Matilda shakes her head. Her face splits into a conniving smile and she grabs Jenny's hand again. "How to be a kid!" 

Jenny shrieks as Matilda drags her with her to the puddle this time. Jenny has no choice but to land in it with her and gasps as the mud splatters against her legs and the skirt of her dress. 

"Come on! You're already muddy now!" Matilda coaxes with a giggle. Jenny gives a tentative bounce. It is quite a satisfying texture to feel beneath her feet. Cold, but squishy in a nice way. And dirt is one of the easiest stains to clean, after all. Her shoes may never recover, but what's one pair? 

Before she knows it, they're both bouncing in the mud like it's a trampoline, getting delightfully dirty and laughing at each other as they dance around like loons, hands in the air and celebrating the refreshment this rain has brought with it. 

Matilda suddenly throws her arms around Jenny's waist. "I love you, mum- Miss Honey."

Jenny picks Matilda off the ground and hugs her back. "I love you too, firefly."

—————

five.

"Matilda, I... I'll be going out tomorrow for a while," Jenny says one night as she tucks Matilda into bed. 

"Out where?" Matilda questions innocently. Jenny looks away. 

"Around. Would you like me to ask Mrs. Phelps to come stay with you?" 

Matilda shakes her head. "I can manage myself, Miss Honey."

"I know you can. But wouldn't you get lonely here during a whole day by yourself?" Jenny asks.

Matilda shakes her head again. "I'm used to being alone."

Jenny purses her lips and nods. "How... how would you like to come with me?" 

"Really?" Matilda asks brightly. Jenny nods.

"I'm not sure you'll have a great time, but you can come if you want to."

Matilda nods eagerly and settles into bed. Jenny tucks her in tight and wonders what she's just gotten herself into. 

——

She wakes Matilda up bright and early the next morning. Matilda chatters excitedly over breakfast and rushes upstairs to get dressed for the day when Jenny tells her to. Jenny sighs to herself and smooths down her dress. 

It's dreary out, so Jenny buttons Matilda into her raincoat before she leads them outside. Matilda continues chattering as they walk to their destination. She falls silent as she sees where they stop.

The village cemetery. 

Jenny looks down at Matilda. Matilda looks up at her. Jenny gives her hand a gentle squeeze and leads them through the rusty archway. 

Matilda is silent as they wander the meandering path towards the graves they're searching for. Towards the back, in the corner. Tucked away safely. Jenny kneels when they find it and places some flowers in the vase attached to the headstone.

Honey, written in large capital letters spans the top portion of the dark stone. Beneath that, on the left, is the information about her mother. Katherine Charlotte Honey, born the 17th of June, 1934. Died the 4th of July, 1967. Beloved wife, daughter, sister... mother.

Next to her, on the right, is her father. Magnus Anaximander Honey, born the 24th of November, 1929. Died the 8th of March, 1975. Beloved husband and father. Resting permanently with his darling wife. 

Matilda gently kneels next to her on the rain-dampened grass. The mood is somber, but peacefully so, this time. Jenny spent hours sobbing against that stone in her younger years, as if it would ever bring her parents back. Like her tears were some sort of magical elixir of life like you see in fairy tales. 

It does feel like an introduction. Jenny can almost envision her parents sitting on the headstone, smiling down at the both of them. She feels warm. 

Matilda hesitantly reaches out and traces a little finger over the grooves etched in the stone, feeling all the letters of their names and the numbers their lives have been reduced to. 

Jenny looks at her when she says, "Hello. I'm Matilda." 

Jenny smiles. "What are you doing?" 

"Do you believe in ghosts, Miss Honey?" Matilda asks without looking at her. Jenny pauses. Mulls it over. 

"Not... really," she so brilliantly comes out with. "I believe in energy. Energy can't be created or destroyed, so I believe once we die the energy within us must go somewhere. Whether that's to heaven, or to be reincarnated as some other creature, or just to... observe earth in a different way, or something we can never know. I think it goes somewhere."

"Do you think our consciousness goes with it?"

"I like to think so," Jenny says softly. 

She runs her hand through the long, lush grass growing on top of her parents' graves, catching the dew and faint clinging rain against her fingers. She remembers scowling down at the bare mud when her father was buried. But the grass now brings her peace. 

Jenny continues, "I like to imagine that we still know what our life was all about once we pass on. That if they're ghosts or spirits or just... their energy, is still here, they'd... recognize me. I like to think that some of who we are carries on into who we become after we die."

Matilda doesn't ask anything else. She just nods. Jenny can tell she's thinking. 

After she's traced every character carved in the stone, Matilda asks, "What do you do when you come here?" 

Jenny smiles. "All sorts of things, really. Sometimes I just drop off new flowers and clean the headstone. Sometimes I talk with them, and sometimes I bring food or a book and spend a bit more time. And... sometimes I just come to cry. Let myself grieve for a while." 

Matilda nods again. "Can I talk to them?"

"Of course," Jenny chuckles. 

"Privately?" Matilda asks softly. Jenny nods and stands, deciding to walk among the next row and see who her parents' neighbors are so Matilda can have a moment alone. 

Jenny tries not to eavesdrop on what she says, but she can't help herself this time. 

"Hello. My name's Matilda. I'm almost six years old. My birthday's in July," she begins. "Your daughter became a teacher. I was one of her students. And she saved me. She's adopting me now. I suppose that makes me your granddaughter." Jenny smiles. "She's absolutely wonderful. She's kind, and smart, and patient. And she won. Agatha is long gone. Your daughter is strong. 

"I saw bits of your life. I'm sorry you went through so much hardship. I wish things had been easier for you. And I wish you could see Miss Honey now. She's done such wonderful things. And she talks about you all the time. She has so many memories of you, Magnus. And she remembers all the stories he told her about you, Katherine. She loves you very much. She's... she's doing fine. Better than fine. She's the most amazing person I've ever met. And she's the most wonderful mother to me. You... you would be very proud of her. 

"If ghosts are actually real, please... please watch over her. And maybe me. If you'd like. I will too, but it would mean a lot to her. Um, thank you." 

Jenny wipes a tear from her eye and heads back. "Done?" 

Matilda nods and scoots back a bit to make room for her. "Do you miss them a lot?"

"Terribly. Every day," Jenny responds quietly. Matilda gently reaches out and squeezes her hand. 

Jenny squeezes back. 

————-

one.

Jenny is reading a novel on a bench in the park. Both she and Matilda had had a rough week. Nothing in particular, just the sort that drag on and never seem to end no matter what you do. So, they'd decided a rewarding trip to the park was in high order for the both of them. 

They're the only ones there, but it's still lovely. Matilda gets to play on the playground, and Jenny gets to sit and read in the shade. She's glad she brought a book she's already finished, as she can only half-focus on it while watching over Matilda. 

Jenny jumps when she hears a screamed, "Mummy!" 

She looks around frantically, looking for the child who's apparently lost their mother, before she remembers there are no other children around at the moment. Matilda. 

Jenny rushes towards the playground area as fast as she can. Matilda is on top of the jungle gym, crying in fright as a rather energetic English bulldog is trying to get to her. It's wagging its tail, so it seems to just want someone to play with rather than to cause her any harm. 

Its owner comes rushing up barely a second after Jenny does and leads the dog away. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone else would be here, I was trying to get some practice in with her off the lead and she bolted. I promise she's friendly, I'm so sorry I scared your daughter." 

Jenny helps Matilda down off the structure and holds her close as the child weeps into her shoulder. "Mu-mummy."

"Shh, darling, mummy's here," Jenny hushes. "It's alright, I've got you. The dog can't hurt you, I promise." 

Matilda clings to her neck as Jenny carefully holds her out of the dog's reach. Its owner lingers, seeming to want to apologize to Matilda herself but respectfully waiting for her to calm down. 

Matilda takes a second to, and she makes no effort to leave Jenny's hold. But, eventually, she pulls away from her shoulder and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Jenny strokes her face with her thumb to brush away a few tears and check she's alright. 

"What's the dog's name?" Jenny asks. 

"Petunia," the owner responds with a smile. "She's just a puppy, loves to play. And especially with children. I've only had her a few months, we're still working on training her. I'm so sorry I scared you, dear."

"It's okay," Matilda says with a sniffle. "She's friendly?"

"Very," the owner chuckles. As if to confirm, the dog starts wagging her stumpy little tail and pants at Matilda and Jenny, almost like it's smiling at them. 

"There-there used to be a dog in the-the neighborhood," Matilda explains with a sniffle. "It always chased me-me home from-from the library. And that one was-wasn't friendly." 

"Oh, darling," Jenny tuts. She jostles Matilda so she has a better grip on her. "We've got a bit of a phobia, then, no wonder you were so frightened." 

"I'm very sorry about Petunia," the owner says again. 

"It's really alright. She'll be fine, she's just a bit shaken," Jenny explains. 

"She's cute," Matilda says softly. 

"Thank you. If you'd like, you could try giving her a pet," the owner says. Matilda looks at Jenny for reassurance. 

"Go on," Jenny coaxes gently, setting Matilda back on her feet. Matilda wipes her eyes with one hand and desperately takes Jenny's with the other. Jenny crouches down to her height to explain. "Hold out your hand and let her sniff it. It'll let her adjust to your smell." 

Matilda hesitates and squeals when the pup wiggles to try to get closer, but the owner has a firm hold on the lead now and the dog is effectively stuck in place. "She won't bite?" 

"Nope! That's the first thing I trained her in. She's got that down. She is big on kisses, though." 

Matilda shakily reaches out a hand, half-hidden behind Jenny. Petunia snuffles at her fingers and gently licks the tips of the longest few. Matilda squeals again and retracts her hand. 

"That means she likes you," the owner chuckles.

"Do you want to try petting her?" Jenny asks gently. "You don't have to." 

Matilda nods and reaches out again. Petunia wriggles happily as her hand gently touches the top of her head. Matilda seems much more relieved when she gets a concrete feel of the coarse, short fur on the dog's head. She gently scratches a little bit, and giggles as the dog's entire back half starts wiggling in delight. 

"Very well done, darling. Look how happy she is," Jenny says with a smile. She gives the dog some pets herself. 

Matilda smiles too. Jenny can tell she's proud of herself, and rightly so. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome. Have a great day," Petunia's owner says. They can hear the owner lovingly chastising the dog for frightening Matilda as they walk off in the other direction. 

"Well, that was certainly exciting," Jenny says as she and Matilda begin their own walk home. It was exciting for her for a few reasons. 

Matilda called her mummy. 

Matilda nods and quietly walks beside her, seeming to be deep in thought. Jenny squeezes her hand. 

"I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you, Mummy," Matilda says. Jenny smiles. So it wasn't just the nerves. 

"I love you, Matilda," she says. 

"I love you too, Mummy."

—————

thanks for reading!! i am still taking requests so if you have any you haven’t given me yet please feel free to and i’ll get to them as soon as i can :))

[diagnosed-anxiety-disorder]

Black tea, music discourse!! I'm hoping the tea stuff is supposed to be "go infodump and I'll infodump back", because if not, I'm doing that anyways, fhjsjsj

Okay so. ETUDE A MINOR OP 25 NO 11 BY CHOPIN. (Had to double check that like 5 times, hdjskak, how do people remember these titles)

I found it today through a Chopin biography -> other song -> YouTube comment -> this song rabbit hole, although what's specifically kinda interesting to me is that I ended up listening to a cover of it by Zennetia, which puts it on guitar + metal, THEN two covers by Rousseau and Evgeny Kissin which are actual piano, and the comparison between it and other music I've heard is kinda cool to me?

Zinnetia's especially reminded me of the one Yngwie Malmsteen song I'd listened to a while ago (Blitzkrieg), which I guess makes sense since I'm pretty sure Yngwie was really inspired by classical stuff? (Though I don't know much about him apart from that he was a 80s/90s? guitar virtuoso and that he didn't like donuts (second claim is also dubious)) I kinda hear it in his playing now that I have listened to a few classical songs, though I of course could be wrong since I don't listen to a lot of it, dhsjjaj

But it's also so genuinely fascinating to me to hear Yngwie in Chopin stuff because the first time I listened to Blitzkrieg, it was like a gut reaction of "wow, this is VERY different and new" and now I KNOW where that "newness" in song and riff structure is coming from? And I don't think I would have made the connection without Zinnetia's cover so HUH

Basically I'd love to hear what you think about my rambling if it interests you, dhsjja, also any song recs are very very welcome because I am INTRIGUED by this genre :)) (+ Please tell me if I am typing too much, I have a tendency to do that and not everyone likes to be essay'd at so I understand, haha)

Okok first of all i dont know how people memorize names of classical pieces either, i struggle with that as well. But that specific Etude has a name (thank the gods 😭😭), Winter Wind. I actually tried teaching myself a bit of it but then gave up since it was too hard hdnebnebf

Checked out Blitzkrieg and it kind of reminded me of this one guy’s cover of Shostakovich’s string quartet 8 movement 2. I highly recommend it for you it’s soooo epic! Also listen to a string quartet play it as well.

Speaking of classical-inspired rock, Plug In Baby by Muse was inspires by Bach’s Toccata and Fugue. The guitar riff was taken from approximately 0:45 in the Rousseau video I linked. Muse is also known to be very classical based even though theyre not classically trained, very cool

Sorry it took me a bit to respond, but reading ur rant was definetly worth it 🫶🫶

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Oh my gosh so I also headcannon Jack as autistic! But im not comfortable with writing it yet because idk how. Im not autistic; my little sister is and i know a few things jack could have trouble with... but hes a grown ass man so i just dont know. Im definitely taking notes on what you write him as but could you give me some pointers?....maybe?

Im mostly referencing to Bitter with this

aaaa yeah it definitely presents differently in adults who've learned to mask, personally I don't plan to put certain things in specifically to talk about how he's autistic, I write with the background knowledge of what traits he displays, and then express them when relevant, it's relevant a lot with Jack simply due to how much it affects his life

now this is going to get long, so bare with me, because this is a whole lot more complicated than you might expect

there's really no one correct way to write Jack, since there's no one way that autism presents itself, the way I write him is based on a mix of myself and some people in my family, so I can give you a basic idea of what angle I personally come from

for one, I change the way I write about facial expressions and how emotions come across to Jack, in Jazz's chapters I'll write about the exact emotion she can see on their face, with Jack's I'll go with an obvious base emotion, but then if the person is expressing something more complicated, I'll describe their face in physical details

eg;

Jazz POV - Danny was upset, but his face was tight with frustration

Jack POV - Danny looked sad, but his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was set in a hard line

it's a subtle difference but it's one I try to maintain throughout Bitter, Jack's POV is based on how I have trouble reading non-obvious expressions, although in my case I also have trouble looking people in the face when I talk to them, that's harder to write in an emotion driven POV story, so I made Jack better at that than I am

his interest in machines is quite obvious, since he's an inventor, and he looooves infodumping on people, he gets very excited about his passions very quickly and his mouth runs off with him, something I also have trouble with, it hasn't been a prominent trait for Jack in Bitter, because he's so out of his element he's mostly confused and in a way, almost grieving his own death, so he's been far quieter than he usually is

his special interest is obviously ghosts and machinery, and in Bitter I cover that he's got a degree in engineering, physics and mathematics. He's good at them, I like to look at it as though Jack rolled high in intelligence and low in wisdom, he's book smart, he knows things that are straightforward and have firm rules, he's less comfortable in topics that are more wishy washy and vague, biology is complicated and has too many variables, he finds it difficult to grasp, there's no one standard rule that applies to every body

I also struggle with vague and unclear directions, I need a solid structure and clear instructions, my strength is in sorting, organising, alphabetising and colour coding, I like things to Look Right, I stick to a particular routine with very specific things, and it's viscerally uncomfortable and even distressing for me to have that order disturbed, I nearly had a meltdown at work because someone had done a part of my job incorrectly, and I had to fix it, it made me genuinely upset on a personal level, it was MY system, NOBODY should be touching it, NOBODY should be moving things around, they do anyway, and I spend a portion of my shifts just frustrated and on edge because of it

Jack also has issues socially, he often says or does things that other people find uncomfortable or embarrassing, I reference that in Bitter, where Jack assumes everyone is mad at him because he said or did something stupid, this I have much experience in, while in the middle of a social situation it's easy to just do what comes naturally to you and not realise it's off putting to other people, because people often play polite and you can't tell that they're uncomfortable, even though people around you find it painfully obvious

sometimes it's easy to see in hindsight after you've been told you made something awkward or uncomfortable, but in the moment if nobody says anything about it, you can remain either totally oblivious, or become anxious and second guess every interaction you have

Jack is the oblivious type, he's fortunate to live in a family that is fairly understanding, they might get frustrated with him, or embarrassed by him, but they don't really take it personally, they KNOW he means well, they know he cares, and Jack does care, he cares a lot, he feels things a lot, he's incredibly empathetic

this is a trait that a lot of media likes to ignore in depictions of autism, because I guess it makes people with autism seem 'too normal', when tv shows always want to be like 'hey wow look at this clever asshole! isn't he clever, but also an asshole! but you can't hate him because he's ✨autistic✨ and he can't help it'

that bothers me a lot, I mean some people with autism do have trouble relating and empathising with people, my brother is one of them, but some people with autism really empathise a lot, some of us feel things very strongly, I'm highly empathetic and it's a real struggle to cope with

so yeah, it is a very complicated thing, so you need to go in with an idea of what their character struggles with, how it affects them, and when it's relevant in the story, also autism falls on a very wide spectrum, some people, like myself, are able to mask well, but that creates a big issue with identity, when you start to wonder how much of you is real and how much of you is mask, then you have to decide if you want to lower that mask and accept the social consequences of expressing yourself naturally

I have a friend who presents a little more obviously, he's very rigid in his ways and he talks like he's reading from a script, I have another friend who can socialise just fine, but will go into a total meltdown when a plan gets derailed and she doesn't know what to do next

another friend I have is highly social and incredibly boisterous, she stims with her whole body, dances around a lot, she's chaotic and that can be off-putting to people, she's had to spend a lot of her life holding that back, she's only recently started learning how to be herself shamelessly

my brother was incredibly social when he was younger, and people always really loved him, but most of that is mask, he's socially anxious and just wants to be alone most of the time, and he's a total prick to his immediate family, I don't take that personally any more, since now I understand that he's so blunt and brutally honest because he isn't masking with us, but also he still needs to be called out when he oversteps, autism might be why he has difficulty empathising, but it's not an excuse to be a complete asshole, even people with autism need to be called out on shitty behaviour, it isn't a get out of jail free card, our self expression shouldn't come at the cost of hurting other people, most of us are more than capable of learning to not be an asshole

I know this is like, A LOT, but these are the things that need to be considered when writing about autism, it is an all encompassing thing that permeates your entire life experience, I absolutely welcome people like you to try to write about it! Because I think it shouldn't be a taboo subject, and I appreciate that you asked for advice and that you want to do it respectfully, you've probably seen first hand how difficult living with autism can be, having a family member on the spectrum, so you already have some experience to draw from, I don't know your relationship with your sister or how old she is, or where on the spectrum she falls, but if possible you can ask her about her experiences in particular situations that you're having trouble writing, if that's something you and she are comfortable with

I hope this helps, just remember to keep an open mind and listen to any feedback you might get, it is very VERY easy to misrepresent autism so don't be too hard on yourself if you don't quite get it right, if someone gives you a critique, take it in stride and use it to become better ~ you can even express that in an authors note, that you want to write it accurately and invite anyone with experience to share their opinion, because like I said, it is different for everyone and my experiences are not universal, and you're welcome to run something by me every once in a while if you aren't sure about it ❤️

[bookwyrminspiration]

HI YES WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO LEAVE SUCH A NICE COMMENT??? i may be. becoming a little unhinged bc!!!! and ok so like not many people...actually ever ask about all my ideas so i apologize if i just infodumped a TON completely unprompted bc i just got. very excited. obviously i couldnt recount every event in bronte's life leading up to that point but!!!! i hope my answers are either enough to quench your curiosity or to stoke the fires even more bc i have been thinking about all of these ideas for so long. and OH WOW this ask is getting away from me but thank you and ive replied to your comment and you are amazing and i am so glad to be your friend and ily!!!!!!

- pyro

me! I gave me the right! Also you're fully welcome to become more than a little unhinged. Go wild, if you'd like! I think leaving nice, thought out comments is really fun, especially when I get to engage with the writer and listen to them talk about the thought behind their work. Also I like receiving nice comments, so I try to make time to write out a full comment whenever I do leave one--like when people send me art!!

"not many people...actually ever ask about all my ideas" well, guess what! questions are literally a major aspect of how I communicate! Give me any topic and I will undoubtedly have dozens of questions spiraling off of one another. The number of times people have been stumped with how to interact with me or do an activity with me because I ask so many questions...so many. And even more so when its a topic I'm interested in, like your fic. There's clearly a lot about it going on in your mind that you've channeled into your writing, so I want to know more about it! The motivations, the explanations, what approach you're taking, what key elements of the characters you've decided to focus on, how that leads to later understandings of the characters, everything!

and you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. everyone is welcome to infodump about anything and everything (including topics outside of kotlc) they're interested in whenever they want, regardless of whether or not its prompted! your excitement is infectious! I may not fully understand everything you're saying about the character or why, but I can tell at the very least that it's captivating to you, and that makes me want to learn more--hence the comment and all the questions.

and your answers were wonderful to read through! If I have time later I will go back and respond to that, but I do have a class in a couple hours so please be patient with me! This is the first week in a while where there isn't something extra or really time consuming going on, so I'm trying to get back to my preferred schedule and answer asks more regularly (the past two weeks have been...so busy). Also I thought your comment about me finally learning what its like to not hold all the cards was hilarious. and also entirely fair! you can get back at me all you'd like for the secrets i've kept about the wings au!! (I don't even think you're aware of all the secrets I'm planning rn...)

I am also glad to be your friend!! I wish we were closer together in the world so I could give you a hug. you're amazing as well and I'm very pleased you enjoyed my comment because I loved your fic!! I love you too!!

[raindropsduringthesunset]

Chances Few and Far Between (TSS Fateful Fae AU)

Ao3 ~~~ Wattpad

First Part, Last Part, Next Part

Characters: Remus, Virgil, Janus, Roman, Logan (for a moment)

Relationships: Dukexiety (Platonic), Dukexiety (Romantic), Anxciet (Platonic), Anxceit (Romantic?), Analogical (Implied- Momentarily) (Platonic)

TW: panic/fear, arguing/bickering (playful context), violence, drowning, trauma (flashbacks?), attempted murder

CW: Remus (mentioned) cursing, Janus (sympathetic), insecurity, slight non-con kissing (only on cheek, platonic), anger, monsters, water/swimming, embarrassment, talk of gods (Greek pantheon)

Summary: Remus wants to be able to spend time with V. With a little convincing and a bit more time, he realizes a few things.

~~~

Humans were weird. Remus couldn’t tell if he liked or hated that. Judging by how his human was affected by other humans, he decided for the time being that yes, yes he should hate it. He was weird too- mortals didn’t seem to like that though. Good, he had thought to himself, let them hate me.

Mortals were cowardly. Remus despised that trait. Cowards were always too afraid to have fun- too afraid to just live a little. It was so fucking stupid to him. He hated cowards. Another thing humans and him had in common.

They hated cowards too. They ridiculed them, teased them, provoked them until they did what they wanted them to do. Remus hated cowards, but even he knew that was a line to simply not cross. Humans hated cowards, yet created them through trauma. Remus could see that when he looked at V. They tried so hard to make him a coward- to make him scared of everyone and everything.

But V wasn’t a coward.

Sure, V was afraid. He was scared and hesitant to do anything- keyword hesitant. But, as afraid as V was, he pushed through and did things he was scared of. Cowards didn’t do that. Remus admired him for that- though, he would admire him regardless of cowardice or fear. Remus admired that V had enough confidence to do things he was afraid of. He liked that in a being- mortal or not.

What he didn’t like was how everyone was babying V and not letting him near Remus. Sure, V was just hanging out with them, but Remus wanted a turn! He hadn’t gotten to spend any time with V past when they had met in the forest. He’d been hearing about and seeing V interact with everyone but him and it was really starting to get on his nerves.

He was aware that he was scary. He was large, he looked mean, he looked like he could kill- which in all fairness he could. It didn’t quite help that he was half chaos fae. I know, fucking wild, right? Now, with the knowledge that Remus had some chaos fae, it would probably be safe to assume that the Prince was also some sort of chaos fae, right? No actually. Fae children ‘laws’ were strange and made it so Princey- oh so conveniently- was not a chaos fae. Remus was always a little cross about that because that just wasn’t fair.

Being a chaos fae was annoying. He had retractable tentacles- though holding them in too long tended to make his back hurt. He also was more hyperactive and fidgety, L constantly quipping at him to sit still every time they had dinner. He also had a different aura than the rest of his clan.

Everyone else had an aura of something calming- or just in general something good. L had a calming and clarifying aura of a deep blue, Pat gave off a welcoming feeling every time he entered a room, the prince radiated confidence and gentle passion, and J… J’s aura was confusing. He gave off confidence and security, but it also always felt like he was up to something.

Remus gave off a chaotic aura. Being around him made people want to be reckless. He and his brother had broken far too many things for his effect to not be apparent. L would spiral into an infodump whenever Remus was around. Pat would be more reckless with his baking or foraging- Remus had once gotten him to eat a berry that he was 80% sure was poisonous; everything turned out fine but it was still worrying. J was more powerful so he wasn’t as affected as the others were, but Remus is sure he’s done something.

Remus didn’t like the idea of accidentally affecting V with his aura. He was too small, too influenceable. The human mind is so easily broken and he was not about to test its limits.

Still, he so desperately wanted to truly meet V. To just sit with him, to play games. V wasn’t his, he knew that from the beginning, but he just wanted a chance to see what it would be like to have him, if only for a second.

Linebreak

“No Re, you can't hang out with V!” Roman complained, wrestling with his brother in the dirt- thank the gods he could magic his clothes clean or he might actually have to kill Remus. Remus rolled his eyes and flipped them over, sitting on his brother’s back.

“Why not?! I can be civil!” Remus squawked as the prince grabbed his ankle and pressed down on the pressure point. He took the time to squirm out of the position to tackle him again.

“I’m not quite sure you can- hey!” Roman flicked his hand that Remus had licked before grabbing his forearm and using what momentum he had to scramble Remus onto his back. Remus cackled in his position, squirming a bit in an attempt to put Roman off balance.

“You're so possessive of V, I swear. It's like he's your lover or something.” Roman froze above him, his hold faltering just enough for Remus to flip him over and crawl away for a moment to catch his breath.

“What? Do you actually love him?” Remus asked, pushing some of his sweaty hair out of his eyes. Roman stared at him from across the dirt, breathing heavy and shaking slightly from exertion. Remus’s teasing smile faded as Ro looked away, pushing himself off the ground without a word.

“Wait, are you serious?” Remus scrambled up, stepping over to his brother quickly. Roman sighed and rubbed his hands across his face.

“I don’t know, I’m figuring that out. I- well I do love him but I don’t know if I love him like… like how I love you or like… love love him, you know?” Remus whistled and slung an arm around Roman’s shoulders.

“That’s… heavy. Sheesh, and I thought I was the emotionally burdened twin,” Remus joked, laughing when Roman rolled his eyes and pushed him off, “Oh come on, that was funny.”

“It was and I hate it.” Roman huffed, the corners of his lips twitching up. Remus counted that as a win.

“But really, can I please spend time with V today? I don’t care if someone supervises I just-” Remus took a deep breath, he hated admitting defeat just as much as his brother, “I just want to at least be able to know him.”

Roman blinked over to him for a moment, taking in his sullen state before pursing his lips. Remus glanced between Roman and the floor. A few moments passed of neither of them talking. That was long enough for Remus to sigh and open his mouth to throw in the towel.

“Fine-”

“Alright.”

“What?”

“Alright, but I’m sure everybody would prefer if you bright someone else along with you. I’m going to be busy tomorrow, so I suggest asking everyone else before supper for a chaperone and then asking V- at least then you can warn him who’s going to be tagging along.” Roman conceded, much to Remus’s surprise. Huh, who would have thought?

This was big. Nobody- and that means nobody- trusted Remus with V. He didn’t really think his guilt trip plan was going to work but… huh, nice.

Thank Tyche I guess.

“Thank you-”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Roman snipped, slightly deflating his own ego at the hurt expression on Remus’s face, “There’s no guarantee that everyone is going to be as… willing for you to be around V. I suggest asking J to go with you. V seems most comfortable around him and J also tends to be quite… possessive.” Remus smiled again, this time it was crooked but playful.

“Second most possessive to you.” He jabbed. Roman laughed a bit and looked down at the dirt.

“I can’t say you’re wrong dear brother.” Remus’s smile faded. He had a lot to compete with if he was going to spend time with V.

Timeskip

It, unsurprisingly, took several weeks to convince J- or anyone for that matter- to let him and V spend time together, even with supervision. Roman had listened to his complaining the night of the day he and Remus had the whole “You can spend the day with V if…” conversation.

“Eirene give me strength- FINE! Gods, if you could stop squawking at me while I’m trying to work that would be wonderful,” Janus groaned, his hands hovering over a plant that he had been attempting to grow for the past half hour. Remus whooped and did a little dance before leaning down to where Janus was knelt in front of the plant and placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek with a loud shmack.

“Thank youuuu! You’re the best J!” Remus shrieked, standing up and bouncing around, “I’m going to go ask V now- oh he’ll be so excited-”

“Ah-ah-ah, slow down there. Stay here until I’m done. We need some rules before you run off. Sit, I’ll only be a moment if you could not distract me for once.” Janus sent him a quick glare before looking back down and closing his eyes. Remus groaned loudly and flopped onto the floor, drawing little doodles into the dust and dirt.

After what felt like forever, Janus finally lifted his hands, frowning at the plant in front of him and petting its leaves before turning to look at Remus. J stood up swiftly and gestured for the other fae to follow, already moving by the time he was standing.

“Are you ready for the rules? I assume you understand that I will not be letting you near V without fully understanding what you can and cannot do with him,” Janus said, putting his hands behind his back. Remus nodded eagerly and walked directly next to him.

“Yes sir!”

“Do not call me sir,” He bit before sighing, “First rule is you are not to do anything to V without asking him first. If that thing you wish to do with him puts V in way of any harm, it must go through me first.”

A nod.

“Good. Second rule, if V says he doesn’t wish to do something or wishes to back out of something, you must abide by these wishes.”

A nod.

“Third rule,” Janus snapped his gaze to Remus, stopping in his track, “Do not break him. He is not a toy. He is not replaceable. He is a mortal, Duke. Mortals are fragile. We are not going to test the limits of mortality under any circumstances with V. Think of him like… like a glass.

“Glass breaks easily. V also breaks easily.”

Glass is pretty. V is also pretty.

“While glass is replaceable, V is not. Priceless, inimitable, one of a kind. If you break him, we will never have someone like him again. If you break V, it will be the last thing you do. Do you understand me?” Janus threatened. Remus nodded, stepping slightly away from him with his eyebrows raised. Janus nodded and continued walking.

“Good. Now run along and go ask V. He should be with your brother today.” Without another word, Remus turned on his heel and ran for the gateway. Janus sighed and shook his head fondly.

Timeskip

They decided to spend the day at the lake. Remus had some maintenance to perform in the water anyway so he took it as a blessing. Janus and V were sitting on the dock, V reaching his bare feet into the water every few moments. Remus popped out of the water intermediately, having a quick conversation before diving back down. Eventually, Remus popped up and used his tentacles to prop himself up high enough to rest his arms on the dock.

“Hey V,” Remus said, looking up at the human with a toothy smile, “do you maybe want to swim for a little?” V raised his eyebrows and looked to Janus as if asking permission.

“Darling, you can decide this for yourself. I’m not going to be the one to control everything you do.” Janus send a small smile to V and squeezed his hand for a moment. V looked at him, his eyes asking the silent question of ‘really?’ before he turned back to Remus.

“I… Sure? Can we-” Virgil hesitated, looking into the dark water, “Can we go somewhere more shallow first?”

“Yeah, it’s tiring swimming in deep water anyway.”

Remus used a spare tentacle to push himself up onto the dock, retracting them into his back with a gross squelch. V stared up at him with wide eyes as the appendages slotted into Remus’s back, otherwise invisible incisions closing up quickly with a green-tinted clear goo dripping down his back. Remus shuttered and shook his head to get water out of his hair.

Water droplets splashed onto V’s white shirt, leaving dark semi-translucent patches on the cloth. Janus frowned slightly and wiped a bit of water off of V’s face, smirking when he flushed against the touch. Remus rolled his eyes at the sight and placed his hands on his hips.

“Do you need to change clothing or are you fine to swim in your normal clothes?”

“I’ll be fine in this. It’s already wet anyway.” V paused for a moment before pushing himself to stand, stumbling slightly as he tried to gain balance. Remus reached forward and carefully grabbed his forearms, helping to ground him.

“Careful, wouldn’t want you falling,” Remus winked, far too smooth for how awkward he felt saying that. Janus sent him a small glare as V’s face heated up. A smug smile spread across Remus’s face.

V looked out onto the shore, a puddle of nervousness settling in his stomach. The water looked deep. He couldn’t swim in deep water. What if something grabbed his leg? What if he forgot how to swim? What if a storm was coming?

His breath sped up, catching Remus by surprise. Janus on the other hand simply walked over to V’s side, taking his hand and whispering in his ear for a moment. Remus would swear up and down that J used some sort of magic on him because there was no fucking way it was that easy to calm the mortal down.

“Are you ready to go in?” Janus asked, squeezing V’s hand. V looked to Janus for a moment before looking back at the water.

“Would you swim with us?”

“I apologize my darling, but I can’t at the moment. I’ll watch carefully though. If anything happens, I’m here.” Janus sent a look to Remus who suddenly felt very out of place.

Keep your things away from him. I don’t want them to pull him under.

I’d kill them if they even came close.

That’s a lie

J, we literally can’t lie, we’re fucking fae.

Oh, you get my point. Just be cautious. Remember what I said. V is-

Glass- yes, yes, I know. I promise it’ll be fine.

Remus walked into the water, turning around and offering a hand to V.

“Are you ready?” V looked between Janus and Remus before letting go of J’s hand. Remus smiled as V carefully placed their palms together. He gave a gentle squeeze and walked them deeper into the water.

V let out a shaky exhale at the cold water as it soaked into his shirt and shorts. Janus had gotten him to at least wear something that wouldn’t weigh him down. Weigh him down.

God- wait- fuck nono not yet. It’s fine just take a breath, V thought to himself freezing in his spot. Remus sent a worried look back to him, the water only at the waists. Before he could even say a word, V snapped out of it and continued walking forward.

The water was around their shoulders when Remus decided it was far enough for them. It was cold in the lake. One would have thought that one of them might have used their magic to warm it but no. Remus almost regretted not planning to warm the water first until V drifted closer to him, carefully slotting himself nearby to get what heat he was radiating.

It was… cute. Remus didn’t find many things cute, but dear god this was definitely one of the cutest things he’d seen. He could feel Janus’s eyes on them, boring into his head but for the time being, he couldn’t care less.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, an idea sprouted. For a moment- only a moment- he debated even doing it. But he never had much self-control.

Remus reached a hand under the water and reared it back before rushing it forward and splashing water all over V. He flinched and closed his eyes, bringing his hands up to shield himself from the wave going over him. Once the water stopped, V looked over to him, a dazed expression on his face. A beat passed, then two. Then a smile broke out across V’s face. Remus’s heart sped up. Oh.

V splashed the water back at him, laughing slightly when Remus flashed his teeth and copied his movements. Janus watched their antics with a fond stare, rolling his eyes when Remus sent V an offended look when he dumped water onto his hair.

At some point, the two had drifted farther into the water, them having to kick slightly to stay up. Every few seconds V could feel rocks graze over his toes, smooth and detailed. He bobbed slowly up and down, using his arms to steady himself between splashes- speaking of.

Remus dove under the water for a moment before springing out and splashing water all around them- absolutely drenching V and somehow managing to send a few droplets to Janus. V laughed and brought a hand up to push the water and some of his hair out of his face. Bad move.

Remus should have been paying attention.

V let out a gasp as something thin wrapped around his ankle, tugging to pull him under. The faes eyes widened, Remus reaching forward to grab V- but he was just out of reach.

Water surrounded V as he attempted to kick the thing away. A few bubbles escaped his mouth. He couldn’t breathe. Fuck fuck fuck he was there all over again. Kids had flipped him into the well- there was so much water. It was so cold. They laughed at him. He couldn’t breathe, he was drowning.

Look at the freak! Drowning as he should!

Maybe he won’t drown- then we would know he’s a witch!

Yeah! What are you going to do freak? Are you going to die? Are you going to drown?

Oh, stop that- as if your ‘mommy’ would even come for you. Just fucking die already- useless monster.

A hand wrapped itself against V’s forearm, tugging him roughly to the surface. He took in a sharp breath, the oxygen burning his lungs as he was pulled against someone’s chest. His breathing couldn’t slow down- was he breathing? Shit, he still couldn’t breathe. He was going to die here, in this person’s arms. He was going to die.

“Shh shh, little one it’s alright. It’s alright, breathe V,” The Duke's voice called- Duke? “It’s alright, I have you, you’re safe. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Just breathe V.” Water dripped heavily from his clothes, an extra pair of footsteps splashing through the shallow.

“You said you would keep your things away from him!” Janus yelled before reaching out and pulling V away from Remus. J’s eyebrows pinched together, his lips curling up into a snarl as he held V to his chest, rubbing his back gently.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Remus moved forward, ready to fuss over V and comfort him however he could. Janus flinched them away, tightening his hold on V.

“No, run along. I’ll handle this.” Janus hissed out. V was gasping sobs against his chest, shaking like a leaf from either the cold or the adrenaline-maybe both. Remus looked at V helplessly.

“Please, just let me-”

“You’ve done enough. Go.” Pain shot its way through Remus’s chest. Janus brought his coat around V, covering him completely.

“Please,” Remus begged, his hands still outstretched. J looked up and sent him a murderous glare.

“Leave.”

Remus let out a shaky exhale, clenching his fits before shoving them to his sides. A stew of emotion boiled in his stomach. He decided it would probably just be best to leave before it boiled over and he somehow managed to make things worse. He always managed to make things worse.

There was one less sea monster in the lake by the end of the day.

Timeskip

About a week passed after the incident. Everybody was- understandably- very pissed off with Remus. The only person who seemed to tolerate his presence at the moment was his brother- somehow. L was also fine with him being around but Remus could tell he was on thin ice around him.

He felt guilty- of course he did. Remus knew there were dangerous things in the waters and he wasn’t paying attention. He should have at least been aware of how far in V was pushed. The only thing he was glad about was that he got to V before he was pulled too deep in or ran out of air.

As much as he was angry with the animals in the lake, he knew there were plenty that were passive creatures and many more that knew well enough to not dare touch what wasn’t theirs. Remus decided to keep lake maintenance to be done strictly at nighttime. If anything picked a fight with him, there’d be extra room in the lake for more passive creatures.

The moon lit up enough of the terrain and most of the plants were bioluminescent- as were Remus’s tentacles. Hues of light greens and seafoam lit the pebbles and shells under the water. Every so often Remus would find a piece of sea glass and pick it up, putting it in his pocket as a reminder to leave it at V’s door.

He had been doing that every day since V and him had last spoken. He felt bad but gods he was bad at words. He took it as a win when he would leave his ‘room’ every morning and see that the glass he had left was picked up. Sometimes he would get lucky and find a piece that was- according to L- ultraviolet. V really liked those pieces from what he’d heard from Prince.

At the moment, Remus was cleaning up the bottom of the lake and getting rid of the remains that some of the carnivorous creatures would leave behind. When he broke the water’s surface to place the bones of yet another dead lake salamander, he was surprised to see a body sitting on the other side of the dock. He was even more surprised when he noticed the soft and oh so quiet crying and shaking of the figure’s shoulders. He watched them cry for a few moments more before it clicked.

“... V?” Remus called, waiting somewhat impatiently for him to turn around. When he never did, Remus dove under the dock and swam to resurface in front of him.

“Hey, hey V, are you alright?” V sniffled and looked up from where his head but buried in his legs, tears rushing down the sides of his face. He blinked at Remus for a moment, opening and closing his mouth before letting out a near-silent sob and putting his head back down. Remus cooed and pushed himself up and out of the water, the strain on the muscles in his tentacles causing them to shine just a little brighter.

“Little one, I need you to take a deep breath alright? Just in,” Remus exaggerated his breath, frowning when V just heaved and shook his shoulders harder, “Little one, hey, look at me- good. Can I touch you?”

V nodded and unwrapped his arms from his legs, making small grabby hands for a moment before pulling back. Remus caught them before he had taken them too far and moved closer, rubbing his knuckles with his callused and wrinkled hands. V let out a shuttered breath, the sobs fading slightly into cries and weak whines.

“I know, I know, take a deep breath for me- yes that’s it, perfect,” Remus breathed along with him, rubbing his thumb along V’s knuckles in time with when he should breathe, “Good job little one, just keep breathing like that. What’s wrong- what happened?”

V made eye contact with Remus, eyes still glossed over with a panicked sheen. The bags under his eyes were dark and bruised, the moon making his eyes look brighter- the color of his iris seeming to glow in the dark.

“I… I had a nightmare.” V mumbled, looking away. Remus’s lips tightened, his heart heavy as he drifted closer.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“Not… right now. I’m just- I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I get that- that’s fine. I’ll get out of the water for you-”

“No! I mean- no I was um… I was thinking maybe uh…” Remus raised his eyebrows and gazed at V gently.

“Would you like to try swimming with me again?” He asked, rubbing his hands against his arms slowly. V paused before nodding, Remus giving him a warm smile. Nervousness settled in Remus’s chest, he can’t mess this up again.

“Hold on just a moment, I need to go check on something then we can swim.” Remus patted his arms before backing away and diving back under.

Swimming through, Remus glanced around for any of the more grabby monsters, sending a silent and rippling threat through the water. A threat of don’t touch what’s mine, if you do I’ll rip you limb from limb- I’ll make you an example. The vegetation squirmed and the creatures buried themselves below the dirt and rocks.

Remus sent a glare to a particularly brave monster and flashed his teeth, flexing his tentacles. It seemed to suffice but he used a bit of his magic to force the creature to bury itself in the rocks like the rest of them. Just in case.

Resurfacing, Remus looked to the mortal who was now standing up and lacking pants and his overcoat. He was shivering slightly, goosebumps all across his body. Remus smiled and offered him a hand, helping him slowly sink into the water.

Once he was completely in the water, Remus slid his hands up to V’s forearm. They were swimming only a few inches away from each other, Remus doing most of the work with his extra tentacles. V squeezed his eyes shut, gripping Remus’ arms tightly as he got used to the water’s temperature.

“Are you alright? Do you need anything?” Remus whispered, trying to read his face. Virgil opened his eyes and sent Remus a pleading look- and oh did that just make his heart break.

“Just- Just help me?” He begged, trying to pull Remus closer.

“I will, I will, I promise. You have my word my horror.” Remus pulled V against his chest, his heart racing. V felt a tentacle wrap underneath him, helping him sit up. He let out a distressed keen, holding Remus’s shoulder with a vice-like grip.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s me,” Remus pressed a kiss to V’s head, “I’m not letting anything touch you.” Remus pulled his head back, using his spare hand to wipe some tears- or water- from V’s cheek.

V looked up at Remus, the light from the moon reflecting off the water and onto V’s face. Remus drifted his hand up the side of his face, tangling his hand in V’s hair. He looked so… precious. Janus was right.

V was glass. He was precious, breakable, one of a kind. Remus realized why the Prince and J were so possessive of him. He understood why Roman wanted to steal him away. He understood why Janus wanted to hold him to the end of time. He understood.

“My horror?” Remus breathed, “May I kiss you my horror?” V nodded and wrapped his arms around Remus’s neck. He didn’t need any more of an invitation.

Remus leaned forward and captured V’s lips with his, pulling him impossibly closer. He could feel his pulse against his lips, he could feel his hands pull at his hair. He could feel so much.

V wasn’t fairing any better, trying to lose himself completely in the smoky taste of Remus’s lips. Gods, other people absolutely did not taste like this. He tasted just like fireside rum- smokey, warm, addicting. A shiver shot down V’s spine as Remus licked gently against his lips, asking a soft question. There was nothing insistent about the kiss, no pressure to move on.

“Well well, what’s going on here?” A new voice asked, making the two of them jump and pull their heads apart.

“L you’re such an asshole!” Remus cursed, his heart pounding, “Don’t scare us like that- holy shit I think I just died a little.” L rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“You aren’t going to die, Duke,” L looked to V, “Good evening V. Why are you awake? Aren’t you going to be busy tomorrow- both of you?” Remus sighed and loosened his grip on V, not quite letting go. He sent a glare to L, starting to push the two of them to the dock.

“V couldn’t sleep, I was working on the lake. Sue us for having fun why don’t you.”

“Oh, you seemed to be having more than fun. I’m sure J or the Prince would be thrilled to hear about this.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” L sent Remus a playful smirk.

“Wouldn’t I?” He looked back to V, “You should head to bed little one, it’s very late.”

Remus whispered a warning before raising both V and him to the dock, placing them carefully onto their feet. V shook the water from his hands, shaking his leg to the side to get what water that was still in pooled in his boxers to fall out. Remus ran a hand from his forehead to the back of his neck, squeezing out the excess water from his hair.

“I’ll go change and sleep in a moment L. Can you… go- please?” L huffed and rolled his eyes, turning his foot to start walking away.

“Alright, I’ll go. Sleep soon, good night.” L turned on his heel and left, disappearing in the brush a few meters away. Remus sighed and rubbed V’s back.

“L is right, you should go to bed.” Remus hummed, looking down slightly to make eye contact with V.

“If I sleep, will you wait by my door in the morning?”

“If the others don’t shoo me away, yes.” Remus chuckled. V nodded and bent down, picking up his clothes. He took a few steps away before pausing and turning around.

“Can you… can you walk me back to the clearing?” Remus smiled and outstretched his hand, allowing V to take it.

“Anything at your request, my love.”

Linebreak

Remus understood. He liked understanding. The others expressed their love for V constantly in gentle touches and soft words. Remus had the privilege of being able to be more intimate with him- to kiss him and hold him close- even if it was at a much lower rate than he would prefer. He understood why the others wanted to keep him. V was everything. Remus wanted to tear the world apart for V.

He didn’t want to keep V forever- honestly, he preferred sharing him. V seemed happy around the others and it made Remus happy to see him happy. There was nothing he loved more than V’s smile, nothing he adored more than his blush, nothing he wanted more than his taste.

Remus wasn’t afraid to say that he loved V- he would scream it to the gods themselves if he could. He thanked Eros for everything he blessed him with feeling and Aphrodite for how she had blessed V. V may be common folk, a mere mortal, but Remus would never hesitate to treat him like a king. He understood.

V was a precious glass and a gift from the gods. Remus would do anything and everything in his power to keep him together- to keep him alive and happy.

Taglist: @i-read-by-lamp

(^if you would like to be added just ask!)

[mihidecet]

Sbi&Co. D&D AU: Hbomb94 (Character Creation)

In honour of reaching 200 followers, I’m filling out prompts from the lovely people that have chosen to support me!

Today, I’m going to give an analysis on my personal headcanon for Hbomb in the d&d au, as requested by the amazing @octopus-defence-squad <3

Thank you so much for requesting this, it’s been super cool to write AND there’s a fic coming for his POV! I hope you’ll like it!

I had a lot of fun thinking about Hbomb’s character, especially because d&d character creation is a super entertaining experience ahah

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, so I do hope you won’t mind the infodump ahah

SO, I didn’t know Hbomb before seeing him in MCC, but seeing him so cheerful and supportive of everyone had me like “oh this one I like, this one I really like”. 

Therefore, in the beginning H was a bard in my heart: high charisma, throwing inspiration dice around, being everyone’s first and best supporter. 

I always imagined him to still be very combat-oriented, so maybe a college of Valor bard. I can see H with medium armor and a longbow. Also at 6th level he’d get a second attack so that would make his dodgebolt clutches reality ahah

But bard is mainly a support class, and he is a pretty good fighter overall. 

And since I love the versatility of the fighter, for a while I was in love with the idea of a Fighter H. 

With either an Eldritch Knight subclass (this subclass’ spells are SO GOOD it’s insane, and an archer eldritch knight is still 80% better than an arcane archer I’m sorry that’s just the facts :( ), or the Samurai subclass (giving himself advantage on attack rolls is hella op).

In the end, I have to say my mind has settled on the Ranger. 

While the Ranger is generally considered to be a weak class, it’s still an overall well balanced class. 

The ranger subclass that would fit him the best is, I think, the Hunter, because on top of being extremely strong overall, it gives huge bonuses to your dodging capabilities. 

BUT if I may be selfish, I would personally choose Horizon Walker, just so that he can plane hop and teleport around the battlefield. Simply because I love him and he deserves to have spells and cool ass abilities.

As for his race, and since I have a bad habit of creating variant humans, I think either an elf or a half-elf would suit him. Maybe the half-elf would be best, since they’re usually very charming ahahah 

For his background I’d choose “Far Traveler”, in honour of both his extremely long career as a cc on youtube and how he’s been in many different SMPs.

So, as a summary. 

Hbomb is born an half-elf in a small village at the edge of a forest. His father, the sweetest man to ever live, does his best to teach him how to fend for himself in a world that tries and tries and tries to bring him down, as relationships between elves and humans are not always seen in a good light, especially in small communities. 

He’s extremely glad that his parent, an elf of the royal guard, manages to visit from time to time, appearing in the night to teach him how to fight like a true elf would. 

Once he reaches adulthood, he decides to start travelling: the life of his village is too small for him, he dreams of a place where he can be of help and share his days with a group of companions. 

He spends his days travelling, picking up odd jobs where his skills with the bow are needed, and despite his best efforts he does also accept some less conventional and more violent jobs. He never truly becomes a hitman, but he does make a name for himself. 

During his years, he gets assigned to many different teams, small groups of adventurers that he is paired with to complete occasional tasks, and he makes friends, but everyone’s jobs make them drift apart. 

Then one night, he wakes up in a field of purple grass under a light orange sky. He’s welcomed by a strange figure with multiple horns and as many eyes as a spider, who tells him he’s been chosen to protect the planes since his actions in his plane of existence have been deemed worthy. 

As someone who’s always been threading on the thin edge between being an elf and being a human, being a standard adventurer and a bounty hunter, H is quick to learn how to jump from one plane to the other. His skills are suddenly an advantage that brings him further up in respect to the rest of the adventurers he meets, but he never once lets it go to his head - memories of his past, of the sweetness of his father and the gentle teaching of his parent, guides him away from pride. 

H is never lonely, not once in his many years of adventuring, but he does wish for some stability, a group of people that he can trust for more than a handful of months. 

Maybe his travels will bring him to the right ones?

[royalreef]

      “ 𝐻𝓊𝓏𝓏𝒶𝒽! ” There’s officially 400 of you following my dear fish princess! When I started this blog, I never thought I would’ve gotten this far, but this community has been so welcoming and supportive. It’s truly been a joy to write with everyone, and I never would’ve gotten here if it weren’t for all of you encouraging me and my writing. Writing an underappreciated character, and especially with the amount of my canon divergence, brought me to always assume that I’d have a much smaller audience for it - and I’m glad to say that I’ve been proven wrong! 

But really, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near where I am today without the sheer amount of creativity and talent already present in the rpc. Every day I am blown away by the sheer amount of work that is being put into blogs and muses both, and every day I am awestruck at the replies that I read! And you’ve been there through thick and thin, so I think it’s about time I give a little back and show my appreciation.

          👑 The Low Royals

For those of you who have been with me the longest, who have seen the growth and fine-tuning, and even potentially helped me shape this blog into what it is now - I raise a glass to you! You’re all my good friends, and I can thank none of you enough. I truly do appreciate and care for all of you, though I might be bad at saying it. You’ve all made me laugh, and cry, and feel ten thousand other emotions, and I can only hope to support all of you the same as you’ve supported me.

Tam / @necrodanger / @ruiincd / @rebeljest : You have been here from the beginning, and for that, you are the first upon this list. Where would I be without your help? When my Miranda first started interacting with your Val, much like the princess not knowing how deeply she’d fall in love with the pauper, I did not know how such a wonderful friendship would grow between us. You have been through Hell together with me, and though I may stumble, I trust you. Your companionship has been crucial to so much here, and I can only hope that I have helped you grow as much as you have helped me. You are irreplaceable in your talent and creativity, and you know I look forward to everything you write, all that you draw, and every day that I get to chat with you over Discord. I can never thank you enough, and I am truly in your debt!

Jeremy / @grave-risen / @lioncovrte / @covenwtch / @amalgaemate : Jerm!!! Gosh, what praises can’t I sing of you and your excellent muses? Your characterization is spot on - there’s just such a warmth that you breathe into all of the characters you handle. They truly take on a life of their own in such a special way, with all the unique pitfalls and challenges that come with them! You have such fine little details that I love to see in each individual personality and your devotion to detail is to be admired. Likewise, you’re someone who I know I can trust, as that warmth truly spreads over into you yourself, and you’re just such a welcoming and genuine friend that I know I can just vibe with without any pressure. I really do love the plots we’ve done so far, and really look forward to seeing how Brian and Miranda handle becoming friends again. I may tease about him being a snack, but you know I’m here for all of the emotional curveballs you can throw at me!

Shorp / @pasttorn : I might be bad at chatting you up recently - but as always, you know I adore your Damien and all of the drama that he can cause! He’s a shit-stirrer of a muse, and you know I love the way you write, which together is just a perfect combination for a great time! You’ve also been around a bit longer in the rpc so you’ve seen some shit, and you’ve seen me reboot this blog and remake my lore. And for that, for sticking through as I went completely off the rails, I think that’s a pretty good summary of you! Chill, supportive, and sweet, a good pal all around to just vibe with and have some fun creative blends with!

Lola / @monstersmashed : AH... Oh, how Miranda loves her Marcus, and how I adore all the OCs you make! What kind of talent is it to be able to make so many unique OCs and have them all be so individual in such a way that really shows the quirks that makes each and every one special, and where can I get some of that? I remember Junie when she was much, much newer in the rpc, and I swear my adoration for what you can do with an interesting concept has only grown!! I sincerely love plotting with you and working out how your darlings can interact with my three disasters, and just absolutely a good friend all around.

Oli / @mindsmelded : OLI! I know you’re inactive right now (and honestly, I don’t blame you) but I GOTTA give you my love too! Every single reply from you just gets me EXCITED to read, with how you handle your muses! There’s just a passion and a flow to your prose that I love, and I truly admire how you can detail out exactly how each muse thinks in such a unique style that, even if you didn’t give a name or pronouns, you know EXACTLY which muse is responding! I admire you for that, and really that’s such a valuable skill that I want to master in my own writing too! You’re overall just such a supportive sweetheart who I can trust to talk to, and expect plenty of wholesome memes in return as a pick-me-up!

        👑 The Middle Royals

Here is to all who I roleplay regularly with, but maybe don’t chat up as often as I’d like on Discord or through messages, or maybe just haven’t known as long as others. You have such excellent characters that I love to see interact with my fish princess, and I can’t wait to talk to you more! Some have budding relationships with your muse and Miranda that I can’t wait to see blossom into something complex and special all on their own, but all have just wonderful muses who I highly recommend you give a follow if you haven’t already! There’s a truly special amount of care being put into their writing, and I cannot recommend them enough.

Raz / @superbeaucoupdevisages : Honestly I didn’t expect to start to ship Oz and Miranda, but, WHELP, it happened!!! And I’m glad it did, honestly, because these two? Cute. Very cute!! With a whole lot of potential for angst and lore-exploring too! And really, I’m looking forward to it, because the way you write is simple and concise, which leaves it wonderfully IMPACTFUL. It’s short, sweet, and hits right where it hurts!! Which could honestly be said the same as you, as you know how to make your ideas known in as few words as possible. You know how to be there without the need for pretense, and sometimes you really do need someone to be there to get to the heart of issues, and for that, I thank you!

Hannah / @ciiclops / @bingemuscs : Probably the odd one out here as we have known about each other for quite a while, predating my reboot, but we’ve only recently really gotten around to chatting, which is a SHAME. I love just being able to infodump with you about my lovely, lovely arachnids, and Iris has always been such a charm to interact with!! I can’t wait to see how she might interact more with Miranda and how they might get along, as I’m really just a sucker for nerd and prep friendships (or maybe even something more) !!!

Zac / @collectathon : Can I just say that I’m super excited for your Zoe muse already? There’s so much to get into still, and she’s pretty new in terms of Miranda’s interactions, but I can’t WAIT to see what happens! Especially with all the ties Miranda has to the eldritch... Plus, I know to go to you for a good time, and I don’t think I’ll get over Miranda trying to frame Scooby Doo for arson anytime soon! You’re a wonderful friend with such a passion that I look forward to talking to more!

June / @preparetodie​ / @fullofschmidt​ : Is it bad to say I genuinely didn’t think much of Aaravi until I found your blog? Because I kinda did! But you have taught me to appreciate and love this fiesty AND VERY SAD slayer in a way I never have before, with such introspections on her character that I haven’t even thought about before recently! Similarly, your Vicky? STUNNING. She’s special in her own way, and honestly I can’t wait to discover more about her. Likewise, I’m looking forward to both of them learning more of Miranda’s specific secrets, and all of the fun turmoil that comes with that! (Plus, your art? So lovely!!! I might just have to commission you sometime!)

Hari / @warraigoe : I love! Your Damien! He’s honestly really funny, and sometimes even I can forget how lighthearted the actual tone of Monster Prom can be - so I think having something a little lighter is really good! Certainly, Miranda appreciates it, pfft! Your passion for writing really comes through, and I gotta say I really admire you going the extra mile to really get people similarly excited for something too! You’re someone who I really would like to chat and write with more often, if only my energy could pan out, because you’re honestly just that interesting! Good vibes, great times all around!

Josie / @galaxietm : We haven’t gotten the chance to write much together yet, but the amount of excitement I get from being able to write with you in the future is telling as to the quality that I’ve observed so far! You really do have just a smooth, chill demeanor to you that I can’t help but get really excited to be able to plot with you, and from what we’ve been able to do so far, it’s been looking really promising for things-to-come with Vera and Miranda! And from what I’ve seen of your prose? Similarly silky-smooth, flows as easy as a river, and just really something that I can’t wait to see more of, along with getting to know you more!

Nigel / @1-0-1-9 : YOU!!! Us meeting on Twitter was such a lovely chance meeting, and your friendship truly was a great birthday gift! I don’t show near as much love to your muse as I wish I did, because gosh you really do care about him and it shows! You’re someone who I could chat with all night though, and you bring up so many things I haven’t quite thought of yet! I really do appreciate having someone there who I can bounce ideas off of regularly, and you’re just excellent for that. You say you’re a dog in a human’s body, and tbh? I absolutely believe that with just how friendly you are!

Mori / @roskaarotta : Molly is one of those OCs who I can just immediately pick out as one of my favorites, with the amount of care you’ve gone into in making her! Your writing with her is a lot like how I see your art with her - absolutely soaked in a killer atmosphere that you can’t get anywhere else. I love how you took demons/angels and put a bit of yourself into them, and the character drama you write is to die for! I love hearing all of Molly’s backstory and really get a grasp of her personality, and you KNOW Miranda loves her Raccoon Wife!!

Rilli / @empatheticxangel / @marquisxofxlove : Speaking of which - YOU ARE ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF SOME OF MY FAVORITE OCs! Liam is such a darling, and you’re another big inspiration in me furthering my own lore! The amount of detail you work with for Liam is awe-inspiring, and I truly love hearing about how his world works and the history it has, alongside his own unique biology! The way you handle his powers is legitimately something I haven’t seen done before, and I think that really just goes to show exactly how much consideration and love is really going into developing him. Not to mention - you DRAW all your icons!! Like, DAMN. 

Dani / @candyredmuses / @pxppinmolly / @bluemoonmuses : DANI. NERD. DORK. FELLOW MUN OF A PINK PRINCESS. I cannot say how much I appreciate you! And though we might not chat it up as regularly as some others (basically until I find a meme or song that reminds me of you) - you are on my mind!! Your work on character development CANNOT BE OVERSTATED. I think about Molly and your work on her so often, and she truly inspires me to further work on Miranda and put all the more thought into detailing her out! I might be a cryptid, but you can sight me anyday! (And bonus points for ALSO BEING A FELLOW HORROR-LOVER.)

        👑 The High Royals

And here’s to all who I don’t know as well! Who I see on my dash or maybe have a thread or interaction or two with, but don’t chat OOC with that often or that Miranda isn’t totally established with yet! I see you, and I appreciate all that you’re doing and all of the effort that goes into your art and writing, and I look forward to the friendships and further interactions that can come of this!

If you’ve gotten this far and you haven’t been mentioned, then I’m sorry! You’re totally free to leave a comment or somesuch, shaming me for being as forgetful as I am, because you’re really all so wonderful, and I would love to shout everyone out if it weren’t for my bad memory! I love all of you so much, and I’d sincerely like to thank everyone reading this, for getting to this milestone together!

@vibinjustice / @rotaidevxr / @eoleolhan / @prsonatm / @stripedstrigoi / @lovsiik / @anxechoxinxhell / @vnemis / @bigveee / @multiipl / @moonmiissed / @woerended / @chainsxwsmile / @grandtales / @stcries / @yourfuturebcyfriend / @hoopsheartthrob / @xj-nine / @hellishmoth / @soupervillainpotage / @fatedcfied / @muse--menagerie / @hazbinvesta / @pinafcl / @dreamsugargirl / @hollowxport / @canisfuria   

[eggscelsior]

Is Tarot Sequence worth the buy? I just finished a book that left me feeling very sad and was looking up books and Tarot Sequence came up! Your blog was the first I saw talking about and wanted to know what you like about the series and the character themselves, and the relationships!

The Tarot Sequence is UTTERLY worth the buy. I’ll try to do a fair breakdown for you while also being as spoiler-free as I can. This is going to be a bit long. (If you want something a little more spoilery you can dm or message me off anon and I’d be happy to help! Also, the community isn’t all that active on tumblr, but we have a very active discord that the author pops into on occasion, and I would highly suggest you join and liveblog your read to us, we’ll love you forever)

The world: Modern day alternate Earth where Atlantis did not sink to the bottom of the sea, instead being hidden by magic until quite recently. The discovery led to a brief Human-Atlantean world war, set before the books, that destroyed Atlantis and caused Atlanteans to resettle on Nantucket, now New Atlantis, and coexist with humans. The ruling class of Atlantis is based on the Major Arcana of Tarot, or rather, our cards are based on them. This is also a society in which bi/pan are by far the most common sexualities and polyamory/group marriages are fairly common. The lack of lgbt-phobias is utterly refreshing for me.

The characters: Oh my god the characters are relatable and lovable. KD does a fantastic job of giving them depth, strengths, weaknesses, humor, and growth. Rune is our protagonist and the last of the Sun Throne, which was attacked when he was fifteen. At the start of the books he and his Companion, Brand (bestie/bodyguard/everything), are adults and basically making their little living in the world as mercenary/detectives for hire. BANTER/SWEARING GALORE. Love them so much. The books follow Rune’s reclamation of his birthright and unravel the mystery around the attack on his Court. Along the way they start to accumulate found family, which I will tell you nothing about because PLOT except that there’s HIJINKS and LOVE and you will adopt everyone on sight. 

Worldbuilding: We are in for a good ride. KD’s style of worldbuilding is not an infodump of exposition, it’s Rune chronicling his adventures and giving us information as it becomes relevant. I love watching the world unfold like this, because it means we don’t get overwhelmed with being dunked in the deep end of an intricate universe.

Relationships: So this one’s a little up in the air, actually. Rune and Brand are basically an old married couple but they’re not intimate (yet, possibly). Rune gets a boyfriend that is not Brand. Some people want Brand to be endgame. Some want boyfriend to be. Some want all three to have a balanced and loving polyamory, as is common in Atlantean society, and would be wonderful rep in my opinion (I would LOVE the ot3, but also just. I want them all happy. I ship all of them x happiness.) KD is aware of his readers’ different desires and has decided to let the characters write themselves as far as romance, which I think is beautiful. He is definitely great at writing organic relationships and good chemistry, so I trust him there.

Three important notes:

1) It’s nine books, and KD is also releasing free novellas set between each because he has so much story he wants to share. The free ebooks are pinned on his twitter. This series is WORTH the ride, but know that you are getting into one.

2) If you read the first book and feel it’s maybe kinda white and maybe kinda male, you would be right. KD listens to reader feedback and is learning and growing himself, which is wonderful. The second book has some fantastic women, POCs, a character who is learning their identity and changes to they/them after book two, an absolute treasure of a character who is coming to terms with asexuality, and the protagonist is slowly identifying as demisexual. This series is so much more than just men in love!

3) The triggers. It is important to know that when Rune’s court was destroyed, he was sexually assaulted at age fifteen and the perpetrators were not identified or caught. He has PTSD because of this. His assault is a very real part of his character limitations and is addressed very respectfully, and there is one brief graphic mention of it (so far). The process of his healing will likely confront more memories as he tries to find out why it happened and who was responsible. His abuse is in no way made light of or fetishized, which is very good, but the rape and/or the pedophilic nature of it could definitely be a trigger for some people. There are also fight scenes and thus battle wounds, though they have healing magic.

I hope that gave you some good food for thought, and if you’d like the link to the discord, all are welcome! Let me know and I’ll generate a link for you!

[anxietysroomsupport]

Hi I hope this is ok to talk about here sorry if not. I don't know if I can say I was abused as a kid because I got hit and stuff but it wasn't that bad and I'm autistic which made me a difficult kid to deal with so that makes it ok. I told my partner about it and she was upset about it, she said it was wrong what happened to me but I couldn't tell her everything. I keep getting scared a lot sometimes out if no where like I did when I got locked in my room and my dad was gonna do bad stuff. 1/5

My partner says a lot of things I dont understand. She says it’s ok for me to talk about and express how I’m feeling. But that usually makes me scared because before it got me hurt. With my partner the rules are different I know this because we stim together but I’m not allowed to do that elsewhere otherwise people will know its ok to hurt me. And also because sometimes I infodump and then realise and say sorry and wait for her to hit me but she never does and says it’s ok 2/5

I know I am very lucky and don’t deserve to have a partner like her. She is nice to me and I like being close to her I thought I didnt like touch but her touch is nice and makes me feel safe. My mum says I am not good and will scare her off soon. I don’t want to do that but it makes me sad and scared that I’m gonna lose her eventually. I don’t like the scared feelings all the time. 3/5

I don’t understand a lot of things but my partner says thats ok and she says its ok if I get scared and want reassurence but I think asking for reassurence is a bad thing and that makes me very confused. She has her own stuff to deal with and i feel bad she’s has to deal with me. I want to support her and make her feel good but she always seems to have to be supporting me. She shouldn’t have to support me I should be able to support her. She said she loves me and I really don’t deserve that 4/5

And I’m scared I’m not good for her. Because shes ace and I’m not and I don’t want to do the thing anyway because it is scary and doesn’t sound fun but my body does and that makes me think maybe I’m bad and dont actually respect her. I don’t like that my body reacts in that way it feels horrible. But I want to respect her and I really want to support and make her feel safe like she does for me. But what if I’m like my dad and hurt her? I love her and don’t want to hurt her 5/5

Hi Anon,

It is 100% ok to send us askslike this.  There is a lot here so I’m goingto try to address just one thing at a time, and hopefully I won’t miss anythingin the process.  If anything seemsconfusing, feel free to write back and ask questions.

About whether or not you can say you wereabused: If you were hit sometimes, it’s considered abuse.  I did a search to check, and abuse is definedas the cruel and violent treatment of a person or animal.  The example is "a black eye".  Even being hit a single time is enough to call it abuse,if you want to.  If you would rather notuse that word because of how other people react to it, or you just don’t likeframing the experience that way, that’s okay too.

About being autistic andits influence on your parents: Being autistic does not make itokay to hurt you.  Being a difficult kid withor without autism does not make it okay. I assume your parents have tried to justify their abuse of you bytelling you how difficult you were as a kid. Please know, that is just an excuse and nothing more.  It is not justification.  They know it’s not a good reason, but theywill fall back on it because it makes them feel better.  It is never okay to hit children.  

About what you can orcan’t tell your partner: Why could you not tell your partnereverything that happened to you?  Was it likea real-world time constraint that prevented it, or more like you weren’tready?  It’s okay to take as much time asyou need to open up to people at your own pace, and hopefully you will havemany more chances to talk in the future.

About getting scaredwithout having a clear reason to be scared: You might want toconsider seeing a counselor or therapist, if those services are available inyour area.  Or you could call ahotline.  It is possible that you’reexperiencing spontaneous flashbacks or that something is triggering you withoutyou realizing what it is.  Aftertraumatic events like what you described, it’s common for people to take a longtime processing it, and those feelings can be as strong today as they wereyears ago.  This is a normal response.  

About being scared totalk about and express how you’re feeling, and the rules for differentrelationships: It is understandable that you would feel afraid to do things thatusually ended up getting you hurt.  It’s okayto feel that fear and recognize it, while at the same time understanding that,at least with your partner, you are safe. It’s great that she’s able to give you this open place to talk aboutanything.  But also, it’s okay if you don’twant to talk about everything just yet. You can decide what to share, and how much you share, when you’re ready.

About where you are andare not allowed to stim: Unless you are seriously harming yourself or beingparticularly disruptive, it should be okay to stim in most places.  Also, you are allowed to stim anytime, anywhere,no matter what age.  It is notillegal.  People may find it annoying,but you are still allowed to do it.  Of crouse, it is usually less awkward to find a place you feel more comfortable.

About signaling topeople that it’s okay to hurt you: Stimming is not a signal thatwelcomes abuse.  There is nothing youcould do to signal to someone that it’s okay to hurt you, short of telling themword-for-word that it’s okay, or making a sign that says it and showing people that sign.  I will assume herethat this is another thing your parents taught you, to try to get you tocontrol your stimming more.  The vastmajority of people would never even think of hurting someone just forstimming.  Bullies and teenagers are theexception.

About expecting to behit: When you are used to being hit in the past, it makes sense thatyou would expect that to continue with different people.  It will take time to get used to the new wayof doing things, and hopefully you will get to the point where you don’t expectto be punished for things like infodumping. You can take cues from your partner and work on apologizing less for talkingabout your interests.

About being lucky andbeing deserving: Your partner does sound great and I’m so glad you’ve been luckyenough to find them.  It’s wonderful thatyou feel so safe with your partner.  But Iwant you to know that being lucky and being deserving are two completelyseparate things.  You are absolutelydeserving of a great relationship and partner. There may have been times in the past when you were single and not solucky, but you were always deserving.

About your mom’snegative comments: It is really unkind of your mom to say things like that toyou.  You are good enough.  This seems like another way that your parentsmight be trying to control your behavior. It is also a form of verbal abuse. Your mom should be happy for you having this good person in your life.  Trust that your partner will let you know ifsomething’s wrong.  Everyone outside ofthe relationship gets No say in whether you are or are not enough for yourpartner.

About asking forreassurance: Asking for reassurance is hard for a lot of people, because wearen’t used to seeing it happen, don’t know how to go about it, or just feellike we should be more independent.  Somepeople confidently go through life never doubting themselves, and good forthem.  But for the rest of us, it’scommon to wonder if we’re doing the right thing, saying the right words,behaving ‘correctly’.  And it’s just ascommon to feel self-conscious about voicing those concerns out loud, because then we’redrawing attention to the behavior we’re self-conscious about.  But asking for reassurance is a great way tobuild your confidence, and your partner has given you an open space in which todo it.  Each time we ask, and get thatpositive reinforcement that things are okay, we can put good points towardwhatever behavior it was that we were concerned about.  Over time they will build up until we feelconfident that it’s okay to keep doing it without feeling so much doubt andanxiety.

About guilt and support:It’s great that you want to be there for your partner, and you’reprobably doing things that make her feel good that you don’t even realize.  It’s true that everyone has their own issues todeal with, but it sounds like she’s got a good handle on things.  The best thing you could do for her wouldjust be to let her know that you’re available to talk to about whatever shemight be struggling with.  And then lether come to you when she’s ready.  Likeall of us, she is making her own decisions, which means that if she didn’t likebeing there for you, she could choose to stop. She doesn’t ‘have’ to deal with you. She chooses to, because she cares about you and wants to invest timeinto your relationship.  Hopefully she isalso taking care of herself, and that might be one way you can return hersupport: ask her if she needs anything, or if she’s taking enough time to restand eat.  If she says she’s doing good,trust her.  You don’t have to check onher every day, but just occasionally checking in can still mean a lot.

About deserving love: We kindof already went over this but here’s a friendly reminder: You DeserveLove!  You have always deserved love andyou always will deserve love.  One goodway to respond to being told that someone loves you is to let that person know how you care for them as well.  Loveshouldn’t make you feel guilty or like you aren’t good enough.  When she tells you she loves you, it is agift purely to make you happy and reassure you of her feelings.  You can accept the gift without worry.  

About being attracted to,and respecting, someone who is ace: The attraction your body feelsis completely independent of your ability to respect your partner.  We cannot control feelings of physical attractionany more than we can control feeling hungry or tired.  It’s all hormones and chemicals in thebrain.  It’s okay to have thosefeelings.  What matters is what you chooseto do about them.  You are respecting herso long as you always communicate before doing something together.  When it comes to physical acts, consent is #1.  Anything short of an enthusiastic ‘yes’ is nota good enough answer, because if they aren’t enthusiastic about it, it’s probablynot going to be enjoyable.  Talk to herand find our what things you both would enjoy doing.  You might discover that even with her beingace, she could enjoy doing a whole range of different things that aren’t sex.  Everyone is different.  If those aren’t enough, you still have a lot of options.  You might consider learning about ways tosatisfy yourself, or polyamory, or changing the relationship to a platonic oneso that you can search out a partner who wants the same things.  It’s clear that you don’t want to lose her,so look at ways the relationship can evolve. People change all the time, and if we want relationships to continue, weoften have to communicate ways to change the relationship too.

About behaviors we learnfrom our parents: You might have picked up on a pattern throughout all this, aboutthe choices we make.  You care so deeply,and you’re very aware of the ways in which your parents hurt you in thepast.  The fact that you are so concernedabout not repeating their mistakes shows that you’re going to work hard to makesure you do the right thing.  If you havenever hit anyone in the past, you’re unlikely to start now.  And if you begin to see your behaviorbecoming more like your parents’, pause.  Take a step back and think about what you cando to change those behaviors.  You get todecide what kind of person you will be in the future, and what kind of partneryou’ll be.  You are capable of makingdifferent choices than your parents did. I fully believe you will choose to be lovingand kind.

Good luck!

-Miss Fay

[bunnyai]

Please tell me more about your Undertale oc! Do they go to grillbys? How do they interact with everyone? Would they eat Papyrus's spaghetti??

OH BOY

okay so i have. A Lot. so we’re just gonna? go down the list here kjNKFJN (no i’m not including the skelekids that’s an infodump for another ask JFN)

Do they go to grillbys? 

- blu: Oh Definately. they’re a regular at fellby’s and usually ends up having to walk red home or like. make sure fellby doesn’t kill him.

- void: YES. xe usually just goes if xe needs a night out to study, but xir also goes when friends ask xem to hangout or if they need a ride

- ursa: not particularly? she’s mostly busy with the bookstore, but she does stop by to say hi to her boyfriend once in a while or to grab lunch on her break.

- coral: She’d Rather Be Dusted jknJKFN!! water and fire don’t mix so she mostly goes elsewhere to eat or to have a quiet place away from her siblings

- bev: she works there, i would hope she goes there jnKF

How do they interact with everyone? 

- blu: they’re socially awkward and words are hard for them, and so is. people. like understanding them? so they mostly just look for people they y’know, click with. like axe mutt red and obsidian!

- void: social butterfly of the three siblings. if xe ropes you into a conversation, there’s a Very high chance xe will be a friend by the end of the day. xe have a fun relationship with sans, seeing as both are the lackadaisical sibling and have a fondness for bad jokes

- ursa: oh my god she’s Shy. she primarily works at her bookstore and she doesn’t really open up until she sees you often enough. she’s close with toriel and often gives her a heads up if she’s getting a new shipment of childrens books or if there’s a book on snails she has!

- coral: small child who is tiny and bitter kjkjnFS. honestly?? she doesn’t have many friends and is just fine with that. she’s not a fan of people or monsters, and crowded places make her annoyed, so she likes spending her time by herself! tho she Does hae a begrudging friendship with frisk, mostly because she babysits them, but they both get along just fine despite coral’s...attitude jkdnkfd

- bev: if there’s a person in town she hasn’t met yet she will find you and she will give you a warm welcome, no matter how long you’ve been in nmc. she works 3 jobs, so knowing who’s who has become kinda a skill. she knows her regulars and she knows whos who. she’s close with papyrus and russ and they all 3 share a weird fondness for pasta???

Would they eat Papyrus's spaghetti??

- blu: tried it once. looked like a snowglobe for a week.

- void: Nope. xir smart and has politely declined

- ursa: yes! she’s had it a couple times and she thinks he’s getting better each time

- coral: had it once as leftovers toriel left in the fridge and has regretted life ever since

- bev: had it a few times and is helping him try to get better, starting with no glitter,,,

[funky-stars-and-roses]

Psst... You should talk some abt your ocs if you want. I wanna know random facts about them.

hi anon!! i’ve been working on some world building for my ocs so i hope you don’t mind me dropping that in as well- im putting it under a read more bc i wrote a LOT-

also, i kept accidentally deleting this so i’ve had to rewrite this multiple times :’) but it’s fine, i like infodumping-

heres a link to my og post about them! https://enbees-and-lavendar.tumblr.com/post/642206592824213504/holds-up-these-ocs-hello-and-welcome-to-a-new

so, there’s 3 kingdoms, all w/different morals & ideas:

The Kingdom of Preocupat: their whole moral system is “as long as you don’t damage property you can go wild.” unsurprisingly, they have a lot of crime here-

The Kingdom of Cordeno: upholds kindness & respect, try their hardest to remain “pure” in the eyes of their deities (who im still working on-)

The Kingdom of Tenbrarum: ok yeah, this kingdom is barely a kingdom- the people call for anarchy & the royalty try to get them to stop

 these kingdoms are all in a conflict: Cordeno wants everyone to just chill & not have any death, Tenbrarum is trying to basically kill off all of their citizens in hopes of starting anew & Preocupat is helping both sides out, not really caring about their placement in it all.

 so its chaos in this realm- but there are groups from each kingdom gathering, trying to help the conflict to the best of their abilities.

 the ocs i posted about? they might be a group, but they definitely aren’t trying to help the conflict anytime soon- they might have incredibly powerful people in the group (which i’ll talk about soon!) but they would rather help out random travelers & small taverns in the woods than help the kingdoms

 they’re just a group of people who do the side quests of this realm-

 Aeolanyira (she/her):

 w/all that story stuff out the way, lemme talk about the gang! (also, they all either have ADHD or are autistic, this is mostly bc I self projected onto all of them so- im mentioning this bc im gonna talk about their favorite stims)

she’s dating Moonweb

a funky lil musician who travels around the realm, uncaring of consequences

she didn’t have a family, so she’s traveled around for as long as she can remember

she often makes pit stops at taverns to perform, & her music enchants anyone who listens to it

basically, when she sings, she has the power to control the elements & keep people/enemies drawn to her

she doesn’t really have that much control over these powers, (she has accidentally set a tavern on fire once) the most she knows now is when to stop singing

despite her not caring about consequences, she is rather wary of how her actions affect others, bc she’s seen the best & worst of people & she’d hate to be someone that caused hurt

she smells like cinnamon!

 Moonweb (she/he/they):

fav. stims: F L A P P Y  H A N D S. also, humming/talking to herself!

she’s dating Aeolanyira

a half elf, half demon who lives among the mortals to help do jobs for his father

although they never knew her mother, his father is actually very caring (for a demon lord) & usually sends them around so he can teach her various lessons

they actually met Aeolanyira in a tavern & decided to follow her around to see what she does on her journeys

he actually doesn’t have many powers apart from being able to fly & having heightened senses-

she prefers flying around, but ever since they’ve joined the gang he tries to walk more often so she can hold Aeolanyira’s hand 🥺

they tend to present themself as very kind, but if she doesn’t care about you then you’ll end up being a pawn in his game-

his scarf is the only remnant they have of her mother

fav. stims: flapping their wings around despite not flying & smelling cinnamon bc it’s a nice smell & reminds her of Aeolanyira

he’s dating Orsal

 

Whiskey (he/him):

an orc from the kingdom of Cordeno who follows the messages of his Goddess

he has a ton of siblings. his parents taught them all the messages of their Goddess. he ended up leaving bc the family started putting too much pressure on his shoulders

while travelling around, he ran into Aeolanyira & Moonweb, who were stuck in a ditch somehow?? he helped them & decided to stick around bc they looked like they could use some help

he doesn’t have powers on his own, however he’s pretty damn good w/a sword & can ask his Goddess for help

when asking his Goddess for help, he has the power to just slash the crap out of everyone (this technically goes against his morals, but he’ll do anything to help his friends)

due to his upbringing, he tries to keep kindness & peace first, but the gang definitely can make that hard-

his armor piece was a gift from 1 of his favorite sisters

fav. stims: tapping his foot & clinking his sword against stuff bc he likes the noises :D

he’s dating Whiskey

Orsal (he/him):

a powerful demon lord who was sent up to the mortals’ realm to basically babysit his friend’s child (Moonweb-)

he doesn’t have family, he was born out of the mortals’ rage

he honestly was just stumbling around the realm until he bumped into Moonweb, who was hanging out w/Aeolanyira & Whiskey in a tree-

he basically just gets his powers from people’s rage. someone’s intensely upset? Orsal gains power from that, using it whenever he can

when using people’s rage, he grows bigger & stronger. he can grow up to 15 feet & tends to stay at this size after battles

he has very similar morals to Moonweb: he uses people to his own benefit, but he doesn’t try to hide it like Moonweb. he’s very soft & protective of those he cares about tho (the gang 🥺🥺)

his eyes change color! when using his powers, his eyes go black & red, but outside of that his eyes are blue & green

fav. stims: destroying things & touching the others (not in a weird way- it’s more like him playing w/or stroking the other’s hair & wings)

currently single, but she has a secret admirer 👀

Zanna (she/her):

a powerful witch who lives in a cottage just outside the outskirts of Tenbrarum

her family’s dead- she’s alive bc she cast a successful spell that keeps her alive longer

the rest of the gang met her when they were on the run from Tenbrarum forces- she kinda just opened her door for them & was so amused by them that she joined their little journey

she’s a jack of all trades who’s basically learned all types of magic- she does grow tired when she does too much magic of any kind, so she doesn’t pop off as much as she could  

she specializes in healing & defensive magic, but she’s definitely very good at offensive magic

she’s been alive for so long that she’s basically grown desensitized to everything. she’s seen it all & she’s not gonna try to change anything anytime soon. the only things she cares about is the gang, so F in the chat for anyone who messes w/them-

bc her sleeves are really long, her hands rarely show. it’s become a joke w/in the gang that if her hands show, she means business

fav. stims: fidgeting w/her sleeves & doing flashy magic to watch the colors change :D

currently single, but crypt’s pining hard for Zanna 👀👀

Enador (crypt/cryptself):

a vampire who became the “familiar” of Zanna & is her personal bodyguard (tho not really since we all know Zanna can handle herself)

crypt’s family disowned crypt bc crypt showed way too much interest in other species- 

crypt hid crypt’s human form from the gang for a while- 1 night crypt just chose to shift & the gang was like “ZANNA YOUR BAT’S TURNED INTO A HUMAN” & Zanna was like “lmao i know”

crypt is honestly just a normal vampire- besides being able to stand in the sun & having crypt’s animal features pop up, not much is different

the most impressive thing about crypt is crypt can just transform in the blink of an eye- crypt just spreads crypt’s wings out & suddenly there’s a bat there

crypt’s been alive just as long as Zanna, however the 2 have very different morals- crypt just has SO much pent up rage, so crypt’s morals are basically “if you inconvenience me or my friends even just a little bit, i will choose violence & not hold back”

crypt has claws- i can’t tell you how many times crypt has accidentally scratched someone in the gang & had to apologize immensely

fav. stims: rocking back & forth & lightly chewing on crypt’s skin (Zanna didn’t know about it until later & that’s when she gave crypt a bunch of random things to chew on in the meantime)

...sorry for how long that infodump was- but i love them a lot & i might post fics about them! (that is, if i have the time & people like them-)

[snarktheater]

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown — Bonus (short story)

Someone requested it, so I'm doing it. I ended up liking The Coldest Girl in Coldtown more than expected, so I'm actually glad to be taking a look at the short story that came before the book. We'll see what it's worth.

The story opens with a girl named Matilda, who is drunk, and apparently this is not a rare occurrence for her. A guy tries to pick up on her (and the story immediately tells us that she is in fact underage, so…ew), and she goes along with it because…I don't know, either she has an agenda, or self-destructive urges. Possibly both.

The guy is named…Mark, or Dan, or Dave, Matilda isn't sure, and she settles on Mardave, because the author thought this would be hilarious. He's also with a friend, Ben. Because…it's more fun to sexually abuse a drunk underage girl with a friend, I guess?

It would be easy for her to close her eyes and pretend Mardave was someone else, someone she wanted to be touched by, but she wouldn’t let herself soil her memories of Julian.

So…yeah, self-destruction mixed with unhealthy coping mechanisms. Okay.

As they head for Mardave's place, Matilda sees streams from Coldtown on the televisions in a storefront, and so the book delivers the crucial information about the world. Remember, this came before the book. Also, wherever they are, Matilda and the boys are currently near Coldtown.

“We’ll protect you,” said Ben, smiling back at her. “We should do what other countries do and blow those corpses sky high,” Mardave said. Matilda bit her tongue not to point out that Europe’s vampire hunting led to the highest levels of infection in the world. So many of Belgium’s citizens were vampires that shops barely opened their doors until nightfall. The truce with Coldtown worked. Mostly.

Hey, why the Belgium hate? And yeah, I've complained about this in the book too, but I have a very hard time believing that Europe would devolve into vampire hunting while the United States of fucking America would choose the diplomatic route. It bears repeating.

Anyway, Matilda is sick…and by "sick" I mean she's probably Cold, judging by her symptoms and the surrounding descriptions.

Now she was the one who was counting. Fifty-seven days. Eighty-eight days. Eighty-eight nights.

I'm…honestly no sure what this is supposed to mean. Has it been fifty-seven days for her or did the book just throw the number at random?

Matilda ends up being found by a guy named Dante while she waits for Mardave and Ben to buy more booze. Dante knows her and has been looking for her, because everyone she knows thinks she's dead. She tells him she is indeed Cold, and cue more infodump as she explains to us why she ran away (which is…basically the same reason Tana did).

Dante tells her that Julian (who is Matilda's boyfriend, in case the earlier reference was too subtle for you) and his sister Lydia ran away together, with Lydia at least looking to turn into a vampire. Matilda doesn't really want to bother with other people's problems when she still has to hold out for thirty-seven days without biting people, but Dante ruins her plans for the night by telling the boys that she's infected. Well, dodged that bullet, I guess.

We get a flashback to fifty-seven days ago, when she got bitten by a vampire at a party, and then some infodump about Caspar Morales for good measure. Then it's back to the present, with Matilda coercing Dante into buying her alcohol so she can keep he bloodlust at bay.

“You can’t keep going like this. You can’t just stay drunk to avoid your problems.” […] “Let me spell it out: if you don’t get me some alcohol, I am going to bite you.”

After he gets her a drink, he explains his sister's situation in more detail: she used to be scared of vampires, then decided to become one, and Dante went looking for Matilda hoping she would have turned and that…what, she could turn his sister for him?

Yeah, pretty much. Lydia was already looking for vampires to bite her through online ads, so getting someone they could trust to do it is a better alternative, I guess? As for Julian…

Dante shrugged slim shoulders. “Maybe he was looking for you.”

Right, whatever you say.

We get some infodump about the token system for humans to get out of Coldtown, in order to establish the stakes: if Matilda and Dante can't find Lydia and Julian before they make it to Coldtown, they won't be able to get them out without hiring a vampire hunter, which they or their families can't really afford.

Also, this:

“Why did Julian go with her?” She tried to keep the hurt out of her voice. She didn’t think Dante would understand. He DJed at a club in town and was rumored to see a different boy or girl every day of the week. The only person he actually seemed to care about was his sister.

Is this a thing with Holly Black, that her male characters are bi? Or is it just this particular case, because the short story more or less inspired the book and so some elements are lifted from it?

They hit the bars around Coldtown looking for someone who might have seen Lydia and Julian, and eventually pick up their trail from a girl, from whom they bought blood that they could use for the transformation once they find a vampire to bite them. Um…ew.

“Said she was tired of waiting.” “What about the guy?” Matilda asked. […] “He said his girlfriend was a vampire,” said the girl.

Yeah, well, he obviously didn't do his research well, did he?

Dante checks his sister's blog to find that she made a new entry titled "One-Way Ticket to Coldtown", and…that doesn't really change anything to the stakes, but okay, I guess?

Instead, we go on a tangent about how Matilda should tell more people about her method of resisting the Cold by being constantly drunk. Because sure, that sounds like a good idea. Make the people infected with something that makes them violent lose all their inhibitions. I can't see that go wrong ever.

Dante also points out that Lydia's never going to be turned inside Coldtown, because the vampires need a food supply and not more competition. So Matilda makes a decision to save Lydia and Julian: complete the transformation.

Crawling over, she straddled Dante’s waist before he had a chance to shift positions. His mouth tasted like tobacco. When she pulled back from him, his eyes were wide with surprise, his pupils blown and black even in the dim streetlight. “Matilda,” he said and there was nothing in his voice but longing. “If you really want your sister, I am going to need one more thing from you,” she said. His blood tasted like tears.

I'm…not really sure why I quoted this passage exactly, but I just had to do it. There's something about it that's brilliant and poetic while also being insufferable. You're welcome.

So she goes to Coldtown to turn herself in in exchange for a voucher for a human to leave. They force her to wait until her transformation is complete first, and then, they do indeed let her in with a token. Cue descriptions of the place, and…Coldtown sounds a lot nicer than it did in the books, but then again, this might be a result of Matilda being a vampire and experiencing her new vampire powers. In fact, she's so overwhelmed that she almost stays out as the sun rises, if not for a random girl who spots her and gets her to come inside her place.

Said place is inhabited by a group of humans who trade on the black market and with the Coldtown guards. They immediately demand that Matilda bites them in exchange for shelter from the sun, and Matilda only agrees to do it at night, though mostly because she's starting to need to feed.

“Why would you want me to do that?” The girl’s expression clearly said that Matilda was stupid. “Who doesn’t want to live forever?” I don’t, Matilda wanted to say, but she swallowed the words.

So Matilda gets settled in for the night, gets a message from Dante (which means he is indeed okay), and sends a message to Lydia asking to meet. She goes to sleep for the day, and when she wakes up, Lydia replied and gave her a rendezvous point.

But first, Matilda has to deal with her hosts. By which I mean she bites one of them as promised…and then feeds on her until the girl dies. Oops?

The worst part is: this doesn't even discourage the others.

Another girl grabbed Matilda’s arm. “Wait,” the girl said, eyes wide and imploring. “You have to bite me next. You’re full now so you won’t have to hurt me—” With a cry, Matilda tore herself free and ran up the stairs—if she went fast enough, maybe she could escape from herself.

Which, for some reason, strikes me as pretty realistic. Right? Everyone thinks they would be the one who does it right.

But as the quote says, Matilda manages to run away, and goes to the Festival of Sinners, where Lydia told her to meet. And she does indeed find Julian and Lydia there, and explains what she did.

“I wasn’t in Coldtown,” Matilda said. “I came here so that Lydia could leave. I have a pass.”

Unsurprisingly, Lydia disagrees with that plan, since…you know, she wants to be a vampire. As for Julian, he doesn't look thrilled at the idea of being here with just Matilda, so…yeah, I guess this is an unofficial breakup right there.

Since Matilda won't bite her, Lydia…takes Julian hostage with a knife. Um…okay, that's a little extreme, girl.

So Matilda caves in…well, kind of. We get a scene break right after she bites Lydia, leaving some ambiguity as to what happened as the narration recaps that Julian ran away from Coldtown with the token after giving Matilda his money and credit cards.

As for Lydia, turns out Matilda didn't drain her dry. Instead, she locked her up to stream her going Cold.

You’ve probably seen lots of video feeds from inside Coldtown. […] Here’s what you never see. What I’m going to show you. For eighty-eight days you are going to watch someone sweat out the infection. […] It’s not going to be pretty. […] This is the real Coldtown. I’m the real Coldtown. You still want in?

And…that's it. That's the short story. And for what it is, it's…all right, I guess. It can't really play upon the same strengths as the book because it just doesn't have the time, but it does what it does well.

Honestly…that's about all I have to say on the subject. The short story's available online for free, so I'd say it's worth reading even if you went through this post, if only to check out if you like Black's writing for yourself. It's not quite as good as the book, but it should still give you an indication of what to expect.

And with that, I'm signing off and moving on to…the next book on the snark pile. shudders