#i hope nobody else wrote about this yet i didn't see anyone do it

[accirax]

Chessgram Theory: Who is Kotoko Breaking?

While the object Kotoko is breaking in Deep Cover’s thumbnail is still certainly up for debate, many people (including myself) are of the belief that she’s snapped a white bishop from the game of chess. Given where Kotoko’s mental state is right now and what’s implied by the lyrics of Deep Cover, I think it’s likely that this MV’s theme will depict all of the prisoners as different chess pieces. Therefore, it’s worth asking: who is that? And, in a larger sense, which prisoners could be represented by which chess pieces?

Kotoko pretty clearly sees her situation as her and Es against the rest of the prison. So, I think that the characters would be divided as Kotoko and Es on one team, and everyone from 01-09 on the other. Kotoko is wearing black and appears to be breaking a white piece, so it’s pretty safe to assume that she and Es would be represented by the black pieces. It’s an interesting choice, given that, even to a non-Western audience, black can be considered a color of evil, and white a color of purity and truth. However, if the Es/Kotoko team is “mystery and anger” and the 01-09 team is “cold demeanors and death,” it fits well enough.

And that’s ignoring the most important part: in chess, the white team always moves first. This would fit with Kotoko’s vigilante worldview that everything she does is just a retaliation against others’ wrongdoing. The other characters attack first by sinning, and Kotoko is only picking them off before they can do any real damage to Team Warden.

Anyways, as for the pieces themselves, different websites seem to have slightly different opinions on what each piece can represent, with some obvious throughlines. I’ll be pulling quotes from these three articles, color coded according to which one is being used, which you can read more of if you wish. I’m also not a chess expert, so if I’m missing anything or got something wrong, I encourage you to add any of your own thoughts!

We’ll start with the Black Team, because there are fewer characters and I think it’s pretty obvious who’s who.

Kotoko Yuzuriha

Kotoko herself will probably be the black Queen. As anyone who’s played chess should know, your Queen is the most powerful piece in your arsenal because it can move on straights or diagonals for any distance.

The queen is our impulse to fight and possibly our id. It can argue based on beliefs. It can let loose and fight like a rook. It has no reason to hold back as a knight does and will often attack to the other side of the board just because it wants to.

This hyper-violent description of the Queen reminds me a lot of Kotoko. She attacks the other prisoners because, according to her beliefs, they’re criminals who deserve to be punished. Not to mention, the “id” is actually the same thing as the “es” in psychology. After we voted her innocent in the first trial, Kotoko became our teammate. She thinks that she’s the same as Es, so seeing herself as the “id” would fit perfectly with that self-assessment. Speaking of Es…

Es (and Jackalope?)

Es is most likely going to be the black King.

The king is not as powerful as the queen, but he is considered the most important piece that needs the most protection.

Even if Kotoko has more power than Es inside the prison, Es is still the one ultimately calling the shots. They’re the important piece who actually casts the votes that Kotoko can use to exact justice. The way that Es falls asleep between trials (or, at least, they did the first time) also reminds me of how the king can only move one space per turn, and often remains in the same square until closer to the end of the game.

The meaning of the Queen in the game of chess is she is plainly the closest support to the King and is often the second biggest (tallest) piece on the board, signifying her power and importance.

Es and Kotoko being the King and Queen together also opens them up to being assessed as a pair. They start the game next to each other, far across the board from the white pieces. If Es is the tallest, most notable piece in the prison, Kotoko isn’t far behind, acting as the King’s loyal fang.

I don’t know if any of the other pieces on the black team would have any sort of particular association. Maybe Jackalope could be the pawn that starts in front of the King (I think that’s the E pawn), so that he could hop out of the way on black’s first move to allow Kotoko to escape on a diagonal?

If I’m right about this theming, I also believe it’s possible that the black team would start only with the King and Queen. This would 1) make Kotoko and Es appear as rootable underdogs by having fewer pieces, 2) show how Kotoko is doing all of the work to defend justice, and 3) give Kotoko a lot of space to move around in from the start.

Now that we’re done with the black team, it’s time for the 01-09 White Team! Given that this side has many more main characters, there are several more possibilities to discuss here. I’ve settled on an answer for each of the prisoners, but there’s certainly room to be flexible with any of them.

Haruka Sakurai

Starting with Haruka… sorry, buddy, but I think you’re a Pawn.

Look, there are only eight pieces (not pawns) for each team on the board. If there are nine prisoners on the white team, at least one of them has to be a Pawn. And, especially through Kotoko’s account of the first Trial, Haruka wasn’t doing a whole lot. He didn’t get voted guilty, so she didn’t attack him, and he didn’t try to save any of the attacked prisoners, either. All he really did was get a new fit and align himself with Mu, someone who barely avoided being voted guilty in the first place.

There is a debate about whether the pawns are the peasants who live outside of the castle walls or are the soldiers protecting the royal court behind them.

Specifically, though, I think that Haruka would be the pawn that stands in front of Mu. Depending on which piece Mu is, it doesn’t have to work like this, but if you say that Pawn Haruka’s placement is basically a “if you want to attack her, you’ll have to get through me first,” that’s quite reminiscent of the threat he presented in his second audio drama.

Haruka also makes sense as a Pawn because he has a lot of potential. For anyone who doesn’t know, in chess, if a Pawn manages to make it to the other side of the board, they can transform into any other piece. Haruka’s quiet demeanor might let him slip under the radar, but if Kotoko takes her eye off of him for too long, he could wind up becoming a threat to the King (Es).

Haruka (VD2): “If you don’t forgive Mu-san, I’m going to kill you.”

In the audio drama, Es counters this plan by pointing out that, as a prisoner, Haruka cannot attack them. However, the sentiment is still there. Even if a Pawn doesn’t really stand a chance of attacking the King when Queen Kotoko is on the loose, there’s always the possibility that he could get too close and throw a wrench into Kotoko’s plans.

Yuno Kashiki

As for Yuno… well, we all know that she’s a Queen in general, but in chess, I don’t think that argument really holds up. Yuno really just isn’t… relevant? enough? to the conflicts of the prison as a whole (at least where Kotoko is involved) to be represented by such an important piece. But, if Yuno isn’t the Queen, what would she be…?

Personally, I think she would be a Rook.

The rook is brute force. It is a disregard to beliefs.

Simply put, Yuno is a Rook because she’s a pretty straightforward person. That’s not to say that she doesn’t lie, of course– her whole t1 attitude seems to have been a bit of an act, and that one section in the middle of Tear Drop makes it pretty obvious that Yuno conceals her true feelings on order to better please her customers sometimes– but that, in the end, Yuno always does what she wants. If she wants to barge forward or cut across the entire board sideways, she’ll do it. She often keeps to herself, just like how enemy pieces wouldn’t want to get directly in front of the Rook for fear of being curb stomped.

Back to her t1 attitude, though…

The rook is the castle, the walls, the protectorate of the city, and in being so, is the only piece not representative of a living thing.

While most sources attribute the Rook’s walls to protecting the other important pieces, Yuno’s walls protect herself. Yuno’s Castle keeps her true self locked behind cold and stony walls, giving her freedom from making any attachments.

Futa Kajiyama

Futa is a Knight because… he’s, uh, literally a knight.

The knight pieces are the protective knights in the castle. The pieces are shaped like a horse because it is symbolic of what knights rode during battle.

It doesn’t always have to be that deep. (/j)

Actually, though, there are other reasons to call Futa the Knight– possibly some of the same reasons why the Milgram creative team decided to make one of his MVs themed after fantasy RPGs in the first place.

The knight represents the pure inner-warrior. If a knight starts out passive, it will always end up aggressive and vice versa. It can't move very far, but it never moves in a straight line, always preferring to be tactical and thoughtful.

Futa definitely seems to cycle between aggressive and passive. He passively lived his life as a regular guy until he unleashed his aggression and became a cyberbully. That aggression fueled him until he learned of his victim’s death, at which point he shut down and seemed to become more passive and introspective again. Arriving in Milgram triggered his aggressive tendencies, but getting voted guilty and losing an eye for it triggered his passive terror. At the time of his second audio drama, it seems like he’s returned to aggressively questioning Es again, and it remains to be seen whether he keeps that attitude into t3 or if something happens that once again makes him lose his footing (or die).

Mu Kusunoki

Much like Yuno, Mu also has an argument for being called the Queen– more so than Yuno, considering her strong Queen Bee coding in It’s Not My Fault and the titles of both of her audio dramas– but also falls short in the “being opposed to Kotoko” department. Although Haruka certainly looks to her for leadership, I can’t imagine Kotoko actually considering Mu a serious enough threat to put Mu on the same level as herself.

So again, like Yuno, I think Mu might be the other Rook. Mu also displayed a very “whatever I say goes” attitude in INMF, so she can share the same rhetoric behind Yuno being represented by that piece. The logic behind the castle aspect is slightly different, though.

Every country or medieval estate would have its royalty who were protected within the walled city or castle.

Mu is a rich, half-European girl whose dad sells real estate. Of course she would be represented by the Castle! Mu’s tactics involve consolidating her power in order to lead from a place above it all, exactly like how a castle looks over the rest of the village. Additionally, I can’t find the source of whoever pointed it out first, but I’ve seen it mentioned that the dress Mu wears in her birthday art is a reference to the one that Belle wears in Disney’s interpretation of Beauty and the Beast. It’s a fairytale with a princess (and perhaps someday, a queen), yes, but it’s specifically one where the heroine is trapped within a castle. Making Mu into a Rook would be a great way to keep up her royal theming, while leaving the Queen for a character a bit more powerful and relevant to Kotoko.

(Going back to Haruka for a moment, this would make him specifically the A or H pawn.)

Shidou Kirisaki

I really thought that Shidou might have more competition for the role of King, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that nobody fit the role quite as well as he did.

Shidou is the perfect balance of a piece who’s very problematic for Kotoko’s win condition, while also not being much of an active threat himself. There are very low odds that Shidou would ever actually try to harm Kotoko directly or get in her way to divert an attack. However, as long as he’s alive, Kotoko can’t win, because Shidou can keep attempting to heal all of the pieces Kotoko tries to eliminate. That’s not something that the King piece can actually do in a chess game, but hopefully you get my point.

Additionally, Triage let us know that Shidou is a family man. While the white Queen will obviously not be representative of Shidou’s deceased wife, and not every other prisoner would enjoy living under his reign (cough cough Amane), the optics of him being the “head of the family” are obviously there. It’s a pretty bad look if the white King starts the game by pleading with the black King to give him the death penalty, but… Well, at least Shidou changed his mind.

Mahiru Shiina

Not to answer the theory’s main question so early into the post, but… I think Mahiru is a white Bishop. Specifically, the one that Kotoko could be snapping in half in the thumbnail.

As far as I can remember, barring Undercover, Milgram’s MVs have only shown us things that have happened in the past. There are some things that could kind of hint at the future (like Shidou’s “So hey, prolong my life / I’m indispensable” in Triage) or depict prisoner’s fears of the future (like Futa potentially being afraid that Es could declare him guilty again at the end of Backdraft). But, I think that every instance of something like that happening could be explained as something that the character did or thought about in the past as well. That might be wrong, as I don’t want to take the time to write out how everything that appears like it could be in the future is actually in the past, but it sounds right to my memory.

My point being, while the snapped bishop could be indicative of Kotoko’s plans to crush someone in the future, if the chess pieces do represent characters, it makes far more sense if her smashing the white bishop is something that already happened in the past. Thus, it would probably be one of the three characters that Kotoko attacked in the past: Futa, Mahiru, or Mikoto.

Of the three options, I think Mahiru fits the role of bishop best.

The bishop is your belief structure. This is why a bishop that starts on white, will always be on white and vice versa for the black bishop.

While not a particularly religious person, Mahiru is someone who lives and dies based on her beliefs about the value of love. No matter what happens to her, she always keeps her same perspective, believing that love is the entirety of who she is and the only thing that’s worth living for. It’s how firmly she clung to those beliefs that sent her to Milgram, and her lack of awareness regarding her actions that got her voted guilty. AKA, Mahiru’s Bishop-like beliefs are exactly what sent her to be crushed in Kotoko’s palm.

To the extent that the blood in the thumbnail is the Bishop’s and not Kotoko’s, Mahiru was also the most grievously injured of the prisoners in between trials. I saw people joking that the thing Kotoko was crushing was “Mahiru’s bones,” and, like… maybe you’re not entirely wrong? 

I hope that you continue reading the post to hear my thoughts on the last three prisoners. But, if you are tapping out here… uhhhh, 0610 enjoyers, go crazy with this one.

Kazui Mukuhara

When I started theorizing for this post, I really thought that I was going to make Kazui the Queen to Shidou’s King. The two of them are pretty close, so the idea of Kazui being Shidou’s guardian makes total sense. And, most importantly, Kazui was the one to actually intercept and divert Kotoko’s attack on Futa. He’s been established as the most muscular prisoner in Milgram, on par with someone like Kotoko, which is perfect for him being the Queen!

Wellllll… I changed my mind and decided to make Kazui a Knight anyway.

There are a lot of good arguments for Kazui being a knight too, okay? After Cat, it’s pretty clear that Kazui was once a police officer. Thus, being a member of the castle guard would be a good match for his choice of career. They’re also probably the most traditionally “manly” piece, representative of an armed man on a horse, and Kazui tries very hard to be manly.

Knights can also hop over other pieces, much like how Kazui jumped into the fight between Kotoko and Futa. In fact…

Never underestimate [the Knight] for its limited range. It’s known as the "Queen Killer" for a reason!

Knights are often a good piece to use to attack Queens because of their unique L-shaped movement pattern. Unlike every other piece, they can attack the Queen from a position that can’t be immediately reversed upon them. Thus, Kazui’s ability to beat Kotoko could be an indicator of this “Queen Killer” quality, instead of the innate power of being a Queen himself. (This logic applies to Futa as well: he can attack Kotoko from the unique angle of appealing to Es’ morals and own sense of justice. Kotoko can’t do the same because, unlike Futa, she has yet to outwardly acknowledge that her murder could have been anything less than righteous.)

Also… the Knight is the only piece that doesn’t move in a straight line. Get it? The Knight doesn’t move straight? And that represents Kazui? Because Kazui is–

Amane Momose

Amane is the other Bishop because… religion.

The bishop stands close to the king and queen because it represents the church which many royal courts held near and dear to their hearts.

The Bishop represents the church, an important and very powerful entity throughout history and even today if you think about it.

Again, not everything has to be a reach. (/j)

So… yeah, Amane’s beliefs– specifically religious beliefs, this time– are also a huge part of her life. Even if she’s changed what the cult’s doctrine means to her, she still confesses that she carried out her murders for the sake of what her religion considers right and wrong.

This is also considered the third most powerful piece on the chessboard because back in the day religion could influence many people, even without the help of the royal family.

Not so much for Mahiru, but this sentiment also fits Amane pretty well! Between the threats of potential conversions and potential assassinations, Amane was definitely one of the prisoners to watch heading into t2. From what I’ve heard, the main reason why her vote was so down to the wire was mostly because people were afraid of the power that Amane held.

Interestingly, this would put another prisoner who was voted guilty in contention for the piece that Kotoko is crushing. However, I still think it’s more likely that that piece would be Mahiru, because Kotoko didn’t physically attack Amane. If it were Amane, it would more likely be that her beliefs were crushed as opposed to her bones, but… I don’t really think that really happened, either. Amane would almost certainly be a bishop, though, so there’s certainly a possibility that that broken piece could be her.

Mikoto/John Kayano

With only one prisoner left to go, you may have already come to the conclusion that Mikoto is the white Queen. And… yeah, I can’t really deny that at this point. Like I said, I wanted to make Kazui the Queen, but I couldn’t otherwise figure out what Mikoto would be.

Because, there’s one main thing that makes me think that Mikoto has to be the Queen… John’s lack of restraints.

She is allowed to move in any direction and in as many squares as she wants.

Due to the whole situation with John not technically being a prisoner, when John is the alter in charge, John cannot be restrained, even when voted guilty. That makes him very powerful; no matter what he does, we can’t use a guilty vote to try to stop him, much like many people hoped to do with Haruka when voting him guilty in t2. The Queen can visit any square, no matter whether it’s black or white, upright or reversed, Mikoto or John. Choosing any other piece that was constrained to a much more limited set of movement rules just felt off for him.

Next, while Kazui was able to defeat Kotoko and save Futa, the fight between John and Kotoko was a draw. That means that they are also evenly matched– perfect for both being the same kind of piece. Mikoto isn’t as close to Shidou as Kazui is (anymore, I think?), but they were at least smoking club buddies, so calling Mikoto the Queen to Shidou’s King isn’t the most ridiculous proposition.

Finally, making Mikoto the Queen, a very feminine piece, is super interesting in the context of people discussing how Mikoto is often associated with stereotypically feminine roles and the girl prisoners (oboetemasuka | candckirby | purgemarchlockdown). I don’t have a whole lot else to say on this matter considering these weren’t points of Mikoto’s characterization I originally noticed myself, but I encourage you to read these posts to get a taste of what I’m talking about. I’m sure there were other posts discussing it too, but… it’s so hard to find things on Tumblr ;-;

Conclusion

Finally, we’ve been through every prisoner! Here’s a summary of what I decided on (left or right side doesn’t matter):

The funny thing about this theory is that it could be fully disproven wrong in, like, a week, if either 1) that wasn’t a chess piece at all, or 2) the chess pieces obviously represent something else. For instance, the chess board could fully relate to, you know, Kotoko’s actual murder and not what she got up to in between trials. We are supposed to get more actual evidence regarding that too, aren’t we…?

Still, if it turns out that the chess board does represent Milgram, I will get the full satisfaction of having called it ahead of time, even if my assignments aren’t 100% correct. No matter what, I had fun thinking about it, which is (in my opinion) the highlight of theorizing! If you have anything else to add, I encourage you to communicate your thoughts in comments, tags, or reblogs. If you don’t, then I simply thank you for reading this far!

Deep Cover… soon.

[adoristsposts]

Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat | Quinn Hughes

author's note; another song fuelled fic for quinny boy. based on ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by del water gap because i fell in love with it as quickly as i did with the oldest hughes brother summary; a casual hookup is enough for quinn. until he realises it isn't. word count; 0.9k warnings; slight nsfw, mention of drinking if u squint enough characters; Reader x Quinn Hughes

I do not want to fight this anymore I just want to lay back And watch you pin me to the bed

Quinn had never felt better than when he finally gave in. The two of you had taken the boat out before anyone else could ask to tag along. And now, as the sun hit your bare skin and turned you into a glowing deity, he only wanted to worship you. "Why are you staring at me like that?" You laughed. He turned red and shook his head like the dirty thoughts would fall out of it. "You checking me out, Hughes?" "Yeah." He admitted. You turned pink, "Do something about it, then."

I used to call you my best friend Way back before you were my everything Now I'm sucking your neck

They're just a friend, he had said so many times. Just a friend. A friend that he was totally obsessed with. Every thought he had was about you. It was far from fair. How was he supposed to tell people you were just a friend when you meant everything to him? He didn't voice this. Instead, he laid in bed with you. The only trace of him he could leave behind were hickeys. And he marked you with as many of them as he could. Mine. He wanted to tell the world. Mine, mine, mine. And the hickeys were the way to show it. Because you were his. Almost.

And you wrote my favorite song Now I'm fucked up and carrying on I do not know the words to it yet, oh

He was yours, too. He couldn't escape you no matter where he went. He was at the bar with his teammates. Fucked up beyond comprehension. And the song you had shown him yesterday when he had driven you home and you had asked him to come in came on. The lyrics were so familiar, but he didn't know them. You would know them. He should tell you to come here. To hear your new favourite song, to see him. He should call you. "Hi." A girl in front of him giggled. He tucked his phone back into his pocket. "Hey."

And you're not my protector I hope you know it wasn't her That kept me off your side of the bed, oh

"Brock told me you met someone the other night." You said as you handed Quinn his plate. "Oh." He replied like an idiot. He couldn't think of anything better. "I called you that night." You stated. "Oh." He said again. He wanted to cry. He hadn't even touched her that night. Hadn't wanted to tarnish his body with the feeling of her when all it ever wanted to feel was you. "So was she pretty?" "Who?" "The girl, Quinn." You laughed. Like it was so casual. Like the two of you were still friends, and you were wondering about his latest date. Prying for details so you could make sure she was the one for him. "She was fine, I guess." He told you.

You're in his living room And it may not mean much you But your plates are in his sink And your sweater's on his bed Won't you text me when you're home? My baby, spare me all the rest

Quinn wanted to throw up. He stared at the text. Over at a guy's house. He's washing the dishes. Scary! He couldn't think straight. Your dishes should be in his sink. Your shirt was still on his bedroom floor where you had left it the other day. Text me when you get home safe. He sent back.

Please just tell me That nobody else touches you like I do Oh tell me that nobody else touches you like me

You two were together again. Bodies becoming one tangled mess of limbs and love. "Tell me" He mumbled against your lips, "Tell me no one touches you like I do. Come on, baby." He coaxed. "Quinn," You moaned breathlessly, "No one. Only you."

And it hits me I don't want anybody else touching you Like I do Like I do Like me

When you were done you curled up on his chest. Wearing his Canucks shirt and a pair of his old shorts. He couldn't shake the thought that you had slept with that other guy. Couldn't stop himself from hating the idea of it. He wanted to be the only person that touched you. That got to love you. It felt unnatural that anyone else could do it if they wanted to. If you wanted them to.

Is it okay? That I don't want Anybody else touching you like I do Like I do Like me

"Be with me," Quinn whispered into your hair. You looked up at him. Your eyebrows were furrowed in confusion and he realised that maybe his declaration of love should have been more poetic. "What?" You asked. "Be with me. Like, officially." Because he couldn't come up with anything poetic. All he could do was breathe in your scent and hope you'd agree and he'd get to hold you forever. "Quinn." You said softly. For a moment he thought you'd say no. But then a smile uncurled on your lips and you kissed him. "Yes. God, yes."

[blueraineshadows]

I really enjoy your writing! I don't even have the words to articulate what I like so much about it, but as I was reading one of your fics for the first time I knew I'd found one of those gem authors that just hit every note.

I saw that you take requests, so I thought I'd put one in. I don't know if you've ever seen the movie "Atonement" (Keira Knightley slays every period piece she's in), but there is a scene that I thought would be perfect for Sebastian. The two love interests are alone in the library, and the female lead is confronting the male lead about a love letter he never meant to send her. He had written two letters, one of them nsfw, and of course sent the wrong one. Smut ensues, lol.

Thank you so much for your kind words! 😀💜

I like this Ask! I haven't copied Atonement, just used the idea and let Seb and MC lead. I hope this is okay for you...

Sebastian Sallow x F!MC 💚🔥🌶 NSFW

The parchment in her pocket was rumpled from far too much handling. Ever since MC had received it via owl it had been a constant presence in her thoughts. When she had first read the words scrawled down in ink, she had clutched it to her chest immediately, scandalised! There had been nobody else in the room with her, but she glanced around none the less, terrified that anyone would see what erotic notions were written there.

The sensible thing to do would be to burn it. Immediately. But her traitorous body had other ideas. Slowly, she had smoothed out the parchment and devoured the words, her cheeks flushing and her thighs squeezing together tightly.

She had lost count how many times she had read it now, the words seared into her brain. That letter had dragged her deepest, darkest fantasies from her secret, put away heart, fantasies about Sebastian Sallow. But what to do? How was she ever going to be able to look him in the eye again and not see the vivid images he had conjured with his words?

.....*.....

He had not heard a reply back from MC yet, and Sebastian was beginning to wonder if he had revealed his feelings too soon. He had been sure that she felt the same for him, and had bravely confessed his love for her, sending her a romantic love letter in order to charm her heart.

But nothing. Anxious doubt clawed at his insides. He paced his bedroom, debating whether to go and seek her out. Could he face the humiliation of her rejection?

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, he thought of her, her soft skin, the alluring scent she wore, and he thought about the other letter he wrote. This one had been just for him, his own guilty pleasure as he poured out all the naughty, passionate things he wanted to do to her. How she drove him wild with want.

He had an urge to read his own words again, refresh his passion for her, and went to where he had hidden it. When he unfolded the parchment, licking his lips, his heart stopped cold in his chest. On the parchment were the pretty, flowery words he had used to confess his love. His eyes scanned the page, panic setting in when there was nothing about what their mouths and lips could do to each other.

Fuck! He had sent the wrong letter!

.....*.....

He had found her. MC stood between the book stacks in the library, the window dark behind her. The light of a single candle illuminated her face, book open in her hands, as she stared at him. "Sebastian," she whispered.

"MC," he said. She could see the rise and fall of his chest, the glow of candle light in his eyes. She felt the tremble in her legs, the pound of her heart.

She couldn't seem to stop breathing so fast. She snapped her book closed and pushed it back onto the shelf, trying to get control of her wild pulse. "Your letter..." Her throat was dry and the words didn't sound like her own voice.

He went to speak and then hesitated. He stepped a little closer. "Forgive me," he said. "I sent on the wrong letter. I never intended for you to see that one."

She put a hand against the bookcase, fingers trailing softly along the spines of books she wasn't really seeing. She couldn't turn around, couldnt look at his eyes without feeling like she might combust into flames.

"What was in the other letter?" She rasped. She felt him come closer, up behind her, and goosebumps spread along her arms.

"A confession," he murmured. She could hear his breaths. "I wanted you to know how I feel about you, how I've always felt, ever since your first day in 5th year."

She closed her eyes, swallowed thickly. "I'm going to need to see that letter," she said. Butterflies danced at the very thought. He had feelings for her, and had all this time!

"And the letter you sent to me, the mistake, is that not how you truly feel, then?"

His breath fanned against her hair. She waited, desperate to hear what he would say, and terrified of it at the same time.

"I feel all of it," he whispered. "Body and soul."

She gasped and finally turned, their faces inches apart, and she could see it. The fire he so vividly imagined in his letter burned hot in his gaze. Her eyes fell to his mouth, what wickedness he had promised with those lips. She squeezed her thighs together, panting, her back now pressed against the bookcase.

"You do not flinch from me," he said.

"No," she breathed. "I do not."

Their breaths mingled, his lips closer, she thought she might actually start begging in a minute, desperate to feel his kiss. She licked her lips, throat dry, he watched the motion with dark eyes. Then, his hand skimmed her hip, smoothing upwards to her waist. The only sound in the quiet of the library were her soft pants of breath as his fingers entwined in the fabric of her blouse.

When his lips touched hers, her eyelids fluttered closed and her bones melted. His mouth moved softly, teasing her, the slide of tongue sending shivers down her spine. His hair was thick and soft, luxurious against her fingers as she ran her hands through it. Her soft moans and sighs floated gently from her mouth as he moved to torture her throat with lips and tongue.

"Sebastian." His name was a sweet worship on her whispering lips as his hands moved to mould the curves of her arse. He guided her even closer, their bodies crushed close, closer, her back pressed against the bookcase.

He ground against her, the stiff press of his arousal drawing a gasp from her lips. The words of his letter swirled through her mind, promises of lust spelled out in ink. Her fingers clutched at his robe, twisting, desperate, as a thick, hot throb pulsed through her.

Her thighs parted easily at the press of his knee, her skirt bunched up at her hips. Instinctively, she bore down against his leg, grinding, eager, the ache driving her insane. He groaned, breath hot against her lips as he claimed her mouth again.

His hand slid up her bare thigh, finger tips caressing her burning flesh. She flexed a leg outwards, opening for him, and he slid fingers beneath the damp cotton of her underwear. The drag of a finger against her folds made her head fall back, banging against the leather bound volumes behind her. She felt the spread of her slick, pulsing need screaming for him to do as he had so darkly described.

"So wet," he panted. "So perfect."

She felt the vicious tugs as he unfastened his trousers, his arm supporting her waist as he tilted her. It was a desperate struggle of limbs and breathing and then she felt the push of his tip, the stretch of her heat as he nudged inwards.

She met his eyes, fingers clasped tightly on him, her mouth agape as he pressed deeper. A low cry, breathless and needy left her at the full feeling of his cock, she clenched around him, trembling.

He gritted his teeth. "Oh fuck," he hissed.

Then they both froze. Footsteps from further down the stacks. "Someone is coming," she whispered.

She looked down at their joined bodies, clothes askew, her legs spread eagerly for him, and flushed hotly. It would not do to be caught like this!

Regret pained Sebastian's features as he withdrew, leaving her feeling bereft, empty and insanely unsatisfied. They hurried to straighten their clothes, MC patted her hair and moved to snatch a book up, flipping it open.

They were the picture of innocence when Madam Scribner strolled past. She saw them and paused to look closer. "It's almost curfew," she said. "Perhaps you ought to finish up."

"Oh, that's the plan," Sebastian said smoothly. "We'll be on our way in a few moments."

When the librarian had moved on, Sebastian met MC's gaze. She smirked. "We have unfinished business you and I," she said. She patted the pocket of her skirt. "I've got the proof."

His smile envoked all the wickedness he had promised.

[livelaughloveloak]

ᩡ A PEARL𓂃🦪

mini series || pt 1

summary: where you move to the metkayina clan with the Sully's excited to finally be free from war and spend more time with Lo'ak but you find him slowly fading away from you.

a/n: Use of she/her pronouns. Reader is Navi. 1.3k words. This chapter low-key ass but I promise the next one will be good 🤫

Lo'ak sat outside on the sand with Aonung, Neteyam, Tsireya and the others. Normally you'd be there as well chatting and laughing but you decided to just stay inside your hut for tonight, not having the energy to watch Lo'ak flirting with another female. "Where is y/n?" Lo'ak looked around the group trying to see if you were just hiding behind someone but unfortunately he found nothing. The others looked at each other and shrugged with a hint of worry on their faces. "Maybe she is just tired" Kiri tried reasoning but deep down she had a gut wrenching feeling that it was more than that.

Lo'ak just nodded hoping that was the case. He kept thinking back about your note that he has yet to share with anyone. You laid down in silence slightly swaying your hammock side to side while listening to mumbling and the sound of the waves hitting the shore outside. It was late but not that late to the point where everyone had already gone to sleep. You tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position but failed. With a loud huff you sat up and looked around your marui, looking for something to pass time with.

You were so used to hanging out with the others till the village got quiet that you didn't have anything else to do since you decided to stay home. Finally your eyes stopped on the black journal you often wrote in. You got off your hammock and picked up the book along with a pencil before sitting down on the bare floor. Opening up the pages just to discover that a page was missing, you thought back for a while then remembered how you ripped it out last time.

You shook the book so that the missing page could come out but you were met with nothing. Your heart instantly dropped. ‘did someone take it when I wasn't here?’ You thought with your heart pounding from the possibility of some Navi stumbling upon your secret journal. ‘No that can't be nobody else was here except me’

You came to the conclusion that you just misplaced the paper in between a random page and it's just stuck there. For awhile you sat there staring at the blank page not having anything to write or more specifically your mind had too much going that you couldn't write anything more than a "I wonder" The question "what if" always fascinated you, i kept your mind busy thinking about the possible different outcomes of such events.

Unfortunately your thoughts got interrupted when someone sat beside you. You recognized them from your peripheral vision. "Kiri." You looked at her as she was already looking at you with an unreadable expression. You closed the book and put it down waiting for Kiri to say something. "Care to explain?" Kiri tilted her head and put her hand on your shoulder caressing it to comfort you about whatever you were going through.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You acted clueless but of course Kiri read right through it. Not wanting to pry or make you uncomfortable she just nodded. "At least come to the festival tomorrow." She took your hands and held it in hers, still keeping eye contact with you. Guilt started eating you up when you saw her pleading eyes, you couldn't possibly say no. "I have nothing to wear" Kiri smiled and playfully nudged you with her elbow.

"Come by tomorrow I have made you something for the occasion" You could only nod watching as she got up and waved a goodbye before disappearing into the darkness of the night.

The next morning you did exactly what Kiri told you and stopped by her family's marui. You didn't wanna disturb them so you stayed outside waiting for her to come and get you. You looked up once you heard footsteps coming your way but much to your dismay it wasn't the person who you thought it was. Lo'ak stepped out and immediately noticed you, he raised his eyebrows in confusion wondering if you came there for him.

"What are you doing here ma tsawksyul?" You looked everywhere but his eyes and thought if you should just stay quiet or answer. Eywa must have been watching your awkward encounter and sent Kiri to fix it. "I asked her to come and visit me" Kiri walked her way towards you and pulled you inside the Marui by the arm leaving Lo'ak dumbfounded once again.

Kiri let go of your arm and walked to her hammock carefully picking up a neatly beaded top with shells surrounding it with a matching loincloth to go with it. She looked back up at you and motioned her hand for you to come closer. "Here, wear it tonight. I worked extra hard to get the weaving and beading perfect." She pointed her finger at you with a stern look on her face watching as you nod in response knowing that it was more of a threat than friendly teasing. "And please go ask my brother out as your date god it's killing me watching you stare at him all the time"

You were dumbfounded trying to process if you heard her correctly. With wide eyes you took the pieces of clothing. You walked out of her Marui, her words still echoing in your mind. Debating if you should do it or not. ‘what if he already asked Tsireya' You were so lost in thought that you bumped into someone's chest causing you two to stumble almost falling down. Strong arms wrapped around you to keep you balanced, you looked up to thank the poor soul you knocked into.

"Tsawksyul" Lo'ak peered down at you with his arms still wrapped around your waist, like a while ago you didn't know what to say. ‘Just ask him out’ Oh that's right. "Can I ask you something?" Lo'ak finally let go of you and stepped back a bit to motion for you to go on. "So are you going to the festival tonight? Kiri was talking about it." You cringed at the question knowing well that everybody in the clan was going to show up but at that moment you didn't know what else to say.

Lo'ak's head tilted and a mischievous smile appeared on his face. "Are you asking me out right now?" Lo'ak loved teasing you, the way that your face started heating up, cheeks turning into a bright purple. "Forget about it" You dropped the subject but as quick as you were to back down Lo'ak was quick to react to your embarrassment. "I'll come by your marui before it starts, be ready" And with that he walked away leaving you standing there.

Soon enough you were anxiously pacing back and forth in your new outfit that Kiri handmade you. You inhaled deeply to calm your nerves knowing that Lo'ak would be here to pick you up soon and you didn't really want to make a fool of yourself. "You look pretty" You turned your head to see Lo'ak outside the entrance with a genuine smile plastered across his face.

You walked towards him and bowed your head as a thanks. "I mean it" He took a hold of your hand and started walking to the center of the village where music was playing and people were already dancing. You looked around to see pretty decor and a wave of people with fancy outfits on. "It's beautiful here Lo'ak" You waited for a while and started getting confused on why he became a little bit too quiet. "Lo'ak?"

Your eyes traveled to see what had gotten his attention so quickly. Your eyes stopped at a figure with long wavy hair and shells carefully placed on some strands.

[andsoigotabutterfly]

-Save Me From Her - chapter 5

Tara Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: Hospital talks, and much needed explanations.

a/n: Finally wrote this. Ohmygod it took so long. During writing, I got caught on my own missinterpretations of my own lore, and had to rewrite the story in my head lol. Help me :)

warning: amateur writing, mentions of trauma, mad people, death, wounds, cursing, multiple/mixed POV's

Tara was freaking out. There wasn't any news from you. Even though the doctors said you would be okay, nobody said any facts that she could work with. The only thing even subtly calming her was the steady beeping of your heart monitor, but even that wasn't enough for her anxiety to go away, and her friends were enjoying the fruits of its labor. Well, rather suffering than enjoying. If Tara wouldn't be freaking out, she would laugh at her state right now. But she was. And she wasn't enjoying one second of it.

You have arrived at the hospital a few hours ago. Tara couldn't keep track of time, everything was slow, too slow for her liking. Even when she asked about how long it's been, the information would just leave her mind the moment she heard it. Anika arrived with the rest of the squad not long after the Carpenters and was in a similar state of mind as Tara. Or was it long until they arrived? The younger Carpenter really couldn't tell.

They sat in a circle in the waiting room. Even detective Bailey was there, with an arm around her daughter. Chad and Ethan sat next to each other, silently trying to not get eaten up by their nerves. Mindy managed to calm Anika down enough for her to sit in her lap, still her leg was bouncing up and down, her nails close to disappearing the way she was biting them. Vasco was ordered to stay at the precinct and restore order. Sam also joined the group, after changing her clothes for something less bloody. Tara wasn't willing. Not when she could miss the moment, they would let her in your room. She was pacing around, unable to sit down, her mind running with possibilities of how the doctors mistreated you, and that somehow resulted in you dying. Which couldn't happen. It was out of the question.

Whenever a doctor would approach, she would stop and look at them with hopeful eyes, only for it to be shattered when they approached someone else. It wouldn't matter that they got bad news. It wouldn't matter they broke out in tears. At least they got to know whether their loved ones are alive or dead.

The rush towards the hospital was anything but smooth. After you collapsed on the floor, Bailey stuffed you in a police car and sirened his way to the closest medical station. Tara was in the back with you, trying to keep you awake without any success. Sam sat beside her, trying her best so her sister wouldn't fall apart, failing. Once the doctors got their hands on you, you were rushed into surgery, and did not let anyone in. Tara hasn't seen you since then. It was nerve ending and infuriating. Yet she couldn't do anything. She felt helpless. She hated feeling helpless.

A stern, deep voice broke her out from her fear induced state. "Are you, with Y/N Kayoko?"

The speed at which Tara span around would impress her if she could care about that right now. "Yes! Yes, we are." She felt someone putting a hand on her back, and when she looked, she saw Anika beside her, face full of concern. The doctor who stood before them was about six-foot-tall, pale white and had blonde, stylish hair. Tara decided she didn't…

"She got out of surgery. She is alive and well. It shouldn't take long for her to wake up."

Tara decided she liked this man a lot. Anika let out a breath she was holding and smiled at him. "Thank you doctor. Can we see her?" she asked, her voice full of hope. The blonde smiled before nodding and started leading them towards your room. Sam and the Meeks’ followed right behind them whilst the rest stayed behind.

------------

You were stationed in room 217. 'Of course, they would put you there' Tara thought and huffed. She rolled her eyes as her mind drifted towards 'The Shining'. You would refuse to watch it with her, because, in your words, it was a disgrace to the book and the legacy of Stephen King.

Tara slowly opened the door and looked inside. The sun was shining through the window, right onto your sleeping figure. For someone sliced up from the side of your belly to your chest, you didn't look bad. She felt Anika stiffen beside her, and it sent her mind running. What did she see that her eyes had glanced over? She took you in again, not sparing any detail, yet she still couldn't find what Anika did. Her heart started racing as she turned towards her. "What do you see?"

"N- nothing" Anika managed. She took in a deep breath, then went to your side, Tara following close behind her. "It's just… The last time I saw her like this, she almost died. Before and after." Even though her words didn't make a lot of sense to Tara, her heart clenched at the thought that you were like this before. But she let it slide. Your sister was clearly just as tense as she was. She would have to ask you.

Tara knelt beside you, and took your hand in hers, squeezing lightly. Her nerves were finally calming down as she watched your sleeping figure. She synchronized her breathing with yours, and without realizing, tucked a strain of hair behind your ears, that fell into your face as you slept. How could you look gorgeous even, when you just lost gallons of blood, not even talking about the demanding surgery you went through right after that. Just as beautiful than the day she… No! She stopped herself before the thought could cross her mind. No way in hell you had that much of an effect on her. She did not just almost quote something. She refused to believe that.

The light chatter of Mindy, Chad and Sam filled the room and mixed with the song of the birds coming from outside. The peaceful tranquility that pulsed through the room felt false. You almost just died, and the fucker that attacked you, was still out there somewhere. Tara knew she wouldn't stop until he was dead.

Without realizing, her grip tightened around your hand. Only when you groaned in pain did she notice that she was squeezing the life out of your arm. Then she realized you were awake. Her eyes snapped back to your face, and when she saw your opened eyes as you were watching her, Tara's breath caught in her throat. You were awake. You were alive. You didn't leave her.

The younger Carpenter opened her mouth to speak, but Anika beat her to it. "You braindead monkey!" she lashed out as she started hitting you, careful not to hit any wounds. "You absolute selfish… Morron!"

You groaned out in pain and tried to defend yourself. "Ani- Anika stop!" but she didn’t listen. “Are you guys just going to watch her kill me?” you asked from everyone else in the room.

“Oh, I’m not going to stop her” Mindy smiled.

“Yeah, you brought this to yourself you know” Tara joined in.

You huffed, and moved away from her reach, but Anika followed, and hit you, this time a little more powerful. "This hurts!"

"Good!" she said, emphasizing her point with another hit. "You get attacked, and I'm one of the last person to know about it?"

"Sorry!"

"Sorry isn't good enough! You left me clueless for more than half a day!" she hit your one final time, then continued a much calmer, loving voice. "Now, where does it hurt?" Tara and Sam raised an eyebrow at her sudden change, but you and Mindy didn't even bother.

"Where do you think it hurts? You've just covered all my body with new bruises!" you exclaimed, and wildly gestured at yourself.

"Oh, don't be such a baby! Show me!" You complied with a frown on your face, and raised your shirt. You lifted the cloth to reveal the bandages lying underneath and smirked at Anika.

“Enjoying the view, dear sister?”

“You know I don’t” she replied whilst pouting, even though nothing could be seen.

You then remembered why you got here. Who you got here because and your mood immediately darkened. Any joy, coming from the witty fight with your sister, any happiness from the thought there were people at your bed vanished. Disappeared. Got swallowed by the black hole of dread inside you.

Tara noticed this. Anika noticed this. Everybody saw it on you. Suddenly the room felt suffocating and cold. This was what Tara anticipated the room should have felt like, yet now she wanted the former state to take over once again. She wanted you to feel the peace she felt, the relievement that washed through her when she saw you, but it was far out of reach now.

“Hey, you know we are here, right?” Anika asked of you, and gently put her hand on yours. Tara sat down beside you two and did the same with your shoulder. The Carpenter felt it was a bit cliché, but when Anika smiled at her, and you eased a bit under her touch, the feeling faded.

It took you about a minute to be able to talk. Neither of them let go of you, not even for a second. You couldn’t be more grateful for them. You calmed downed slowly, as they eased you in just the right way. "Is everyone alright?"

Anika rolled her eyes before asking back. "Shouldn't you be worried about yourself?"

"Me and Tara didn't get hurt, if that's what you are thinking about" Sam answered you after you threw a pointed look at your sister. "But the cops… weren't that lucky. Six dead, seven other still in surgery."

"Vasco?"

"I ordered him to stay behind" Bailey's voice cut through the room. He was now standing at the newly opened door, looking firm. "Someone needs to restore order, and now that… And he is the next highest ranking cop there. You know, you really scared us back there?"

Relief flooded through you, knowing he was alright. "It takes more than a cut to bring me down Wayne."

"Any idea who the attacker might have been?" he asked, as he entered the room and stood next to you.

You swallowed before answering. "No. I couldn't really get a proper look at him." Both Anika and Tara narrowed their eyes at you. They knew your signs, and you were lying. There was no denying it. The only question was; why? "Is there anything on the footages of the cameras?"

"He entered the building in costume, and none saw where he went, or how he disappeared, since he cut the power. The smoke must have come from grenades taken from our storage, because there were several missing."

After he finished, silence overtook the room once again, but this time it was awkward. Bailey, noticing that his intrusion has caused this, squeezed your left shoulder tightly, and started heading out. "It's good to have you back, kiddo" he said from the door, before leaving the room. As goodbye, you threw him a weak smile.

You contemplated whether you should say your next sentence before everyone or not. From one side, you did promise your father, you would keep the secret inside the family, from the other, everything said to either Tara or Anika would then be told to Mindy and Sam. Maybe not Sam, but Mindy would surely know. Your thought process was stopped when she spoke.

"Can I start theory crafting now Ika?" she asked, hope evident in the way she spoke.

"Only after my dear sister here explains why she would lie to Wayne" Anika answered, further narrowing her eyes at you. Tara also drew back, expecting you to explain yourself.

"I don…" you started but stopped yourself when Tara raised an eyebrow. You then sighed, and caved in. "Because I promised father we would always keep it inside the family." As Anika's eyes widened in realization, so narrowed the young Carpenter's in confusion. When she looked at the others, she found them just as dumb-founded as she was. "Kiks, I believe it was Anna" you said.

"Who's that supposed to be?" Sam asked.

"Someone who blew up, got burned to death and is now six feet underground" Anika blurted out, not even bothering looking behind her so she would talk towards Sam. She took a deep breath, and continued more calmly. "She's dead Y/N."

"I heard her voice from behind the modulator" you said, a little irritated. "It was her! I know it's her."

Anika looked unconvinced. Everybody else was clueless, and it could have been seen from miles. "Should we leave you alone so you two could talk this through?" the older Carpenter asked and stood.

"Yes, that may be helpful" your sister thanked her.

Whilst the others got ready to leave, Tara looked at you with doe eyes. She didn't want to let you out of her sight, not after what happened. She grasped your hands, like it was her lifeline.

"We'll be quick; I promise" you nudged her. Reluctantly, she let you go, and started scattering out the bed. She stood beside the bed for a moment, then leant back in and kissed you, something she had wanted to do since the moment you woke. You kissed her back, grinning against her lips, then pushed her back and out the bed. "Go" you ushered her with your hands. She threw you an unimpressed look, before leaving the room.

After Mindy closed the door behind herself, she was all over Tara. "What was that?" she asked teasingly, a huge smile plastered on her face. Tara tried to hide her blushy smile, but failed miserably.

"After dinner, and before the… the first attack, we…" She cleared her throat and started looking for words as she reminded herself of the memory of you pulling her in, hands roaming her. "We had a moment."

Mindy all but shrieked at the news, whilst Chad and Sam were only smiling at her. They looked happy for her, and all she wanted to do was to wipe their smug looks off their face. "Tell. Me. Everything!" Mindy demanded and Tara was then forced to do as she said. When she left out even the slightest detail, she would get smacked, and would need to correct her mistake. Her friend felt tyrannical, and cruel. When she accused her of this, she would just thank her for it, and nudge her on.

"Time to pay up Chad!" Mindy declared, and held her hand out towards her brother after Tara finished.

"You betted on whether we would get together?!"

"No, we betted on when you would get together. It took way more time than we first thought!" she answered and after Chad handed her a fifty, started rummaging through her bag for her purse.

"This much?!"

"Well, after months the stakes only grew" the Meeks woman explained nonchalantly. "Now, Sam, this should cover yours?" Mindy asked as she gave her the fifty she just got from Chad, and some more notes she took out from her purse.

"Et tu Sam?"

"Sorry!" she apologized, sincerity far avoiding her voice. "At first I thought it was stupid and unserious, but after a while, it got boring, and I wanted in."

Tara rolled her eyes. God she hated them.

---------

Not long later, the door to your room swung open, and Anika invited everyone back in. She looked a bit sad and tired. Arguments with you, often had that effect on people.

"So, you believe it now?" Mindy asked from her.

"I… Just get in" she said, bit agitated. "We'll explain a few things to you, since we believe we owe that to you."

"You're damn right" Chad spoke, and entered the room, the others quickly following suit.

Tara immediately walked over to you, and lay beside you on the bed, nudging herself into your side. Your heartrate was normal, and it filled her ears, relaxing your body, because it was proof, that you were alive, and would stay that way, at least for a little while longer. You placed a hand around her shoulders and kissed her forehead in response, as you too, relaxed into her.

You waited for everyone to be seated comfortably, and only afterwards did you start speaking. "Annabelle is our half-sister. She was loving, caring and overall a very nice person. Then, an incident happened. You see, since I was born, I've had a heart disease. I was a ticking time bomb, that wouldn't wait for long to show it's teeth." You told them about the symptoms you had, pained chest and all the other shitty things you have had to live through. You told them, that how it worsened when you were eight. Doctors gave you slim to none chance, of you surviving without a transplant, yet because of other circumstances, there were very little of those that were donated by donors that were compatible with you, and none of them were within arms-reach. The only one that could have been used, was that of your mothers. "We had many arguments over this. Neither me, nor Anna accepted the fact that this was the only way, yet I was hospitalized more and more. During one of these arguments and after me I having been stabilized in a hospital, my heart… gave up."

Tara felt you tense when you started talking about what had happened whilst you were blacked out. You were rushed in the surgery once again, but this time your mother accompanied you… and never came back. She felt your somberness, your sadness and your anger, and wished she could just take it away. Yet she couldn't.

Anika took over, since you couldn't continue talking. "Annabelle didn't take the news of the procedure well, so even before it began, she had to be sedated. None of us really know what happened, but she went mad. After waking up, she strangled the woman looking after her, and then brutally murdered all the doctors that had saved Y/N's life. After that, she came for us. She cracked in father's skull, knocked me out and almost killed Y/N too. Uncle Vasco saved us. Our father got sent to a rehab center, and has been there ever since. Annabelle got locked in an asylum, where only Y/N visited her."

"You said she died" Sam spoke. "How?"

"The institution burned to the ground two years later. Her burnt body had been identified."

Silence filled the room. You nestled into Tara more, and synchronized your breathing with hers. She couldn't describe the feelings flowing through her, there were simply too much. Rage, sorrow, anger, misery, fury, bitterness… It was overwhelming her. How could you be so cheery and happy after going through so much shit? Her admiration for you had never been stronger. Your heartrate slowly relaxed her again, yet the emotions didn't go away now. They were only dampened.

"How… How did we never hear about this?" Mindy asked. "It should have been all around the news!"

"It happened in 2011" you explained. "Same year Prescott returned to Woodsboro. We weren't big enough to rival the amount of waters she bothered, thank god. We were able to stay pretty much under the radar. Uncle dealt with the rest."

"You saying she is alive?"

"I'm almost certain. I don't know how she's alive, but it's her."

"So what now?" Tara asked sheepishly. She was afraid she would need to leave your side, and she quickly turned out right as you started scrambling out of bed.

"We kill her" you said, voice plain and emotionless.

Sam huffed at your statement. "A room full of cops couldn't deal with her, not speaking of your current state. You can't fight like this Y/N."

"My wound? Oh please" you mocked, as you reached the end of the bed. "It doesn't even hur- Motherfucker!" you exclaimed as pain rushed through your side after a sudden move.

"Case in point" Sam said.

"This won't stop me" you replied, more determined than ever. "Also, I have an advantage over her."

"And what would that be?"

"I know her weakness."

[fromabasementonthehilll]

My Girlfriend Is a Witch (pt.2)

͙⁺･༓☾ - Summary: the coldest winter yet had came ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ in, and things hadn't become any easier.

Pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader

Warnings: ...

Pt. 1

a/n: was drunk for ab a week straight and wrote some of this in a rush, also might not do a pt.3 since this one is longer than I wanted it to be 😟 hopefully will get back to writing in a couple of days so pleaseee do send requests 🤞🏻🤞🏻 ps. reader is kinda stupid in this

∘₊✧────────────────────✧₊∘

Your lips rested on the cracked surface of a cup as you drank the last of your herbal tea - facing the flickering fire. Winter had phased in with spite, and you had finally put the jacket you crammed into your suitcase to good use.

"Hey," Nat sat by you, crossing her legs, "look, it wasn't your fault, we all did it," She noticed your agitated expression that wouldn't go away ever since the day Jackie's body was eaten, "you were hungry, (y/n). I mean, did we really have any other choice?" You knew how bad she felt about it all, you also knew how hard it was for her to convince herself that it wasn't her fault either, and you were her main source of comfort, mostly because you were just as adamant about it as she was.

"I know, Nat, but god - seeing her like that," you winced at your words, trying to block out the image of Jackie the morning after her and Shauna's fight, unable to finish your sentence with a slight stutter. Natalie hugged you in return, your eyes still watching the flames flicker up and down.

Boiling water above a fire every night and scarce of food; Lottie favoured as leader and cold nights spent in near agony - it had become the norm, everyone was forced to accept it, some in favour, some not. The tragic death of your teammate remained haunting, it still lingered in your mouth, it lingered inside of you as it did with everyone else, nobody wanted to think about it let alone speak about it, all that anyone could remember from that night was the words ringing in their ears,

"It wants us to."

It took a while for everybody to acknowledge Lottie's so called 'intuition', though her peace with Jackie's death had been a sort of solace for everyone. You were naturally the first, you watched it become something akin to a cult - the way they all worshipped her, and you were confused seeing it, unsure of what to do or say; just going along with it.

-

You were sleeping in the attic again, eyes closed and hands trying to find Lottie, yet to no avail. You slowly opened your eyes and rubbed them before sitting up to look around, "Lot?" You whispered, eyelids half open. She was nowhere to be found, again, and so you slipped into a hoodie and crept downstairs amongst everybody's sleeping bags, then slowly creaking the door open. You saw Lottie sitting on the porch, hands tucked into her knees.

"Hey," you sat by her - wrapping your arms around yourself, "why are you out here? It's so cold." She didn't turn to look at you. All you did was give her a confused look, before she finally faced you with rosy red ridden cheeks and a slight smile.

"It's peaceful out here." She said, smiling more knowing that you were with her in this moment. She noticed you trying to respond through shivers of cold, and she quickly changed her expression and took her jacket off, "here. You don't have to stay with me you know." She watched your lips turn paler by the second, "I want to." You beamed, voice quiet and soft, before leaning your head onto her shoulder. She wrapped one arm around you, covering you with warmth and placing a soft kiss onto the back of your head. It felt rare to spend time with Lottie like this, you'd have to hope that she was in the right state to give you affection, and it just wasn't right, but right now you didn't care - needing the closeness of her.

The night had gotten so cold that you couldn't feel any of your limbs anymore, and the both of you finally decided to go back in, though as you walked closer to the attic ladder you had heard someone from behind you get up.

"(y/n)?" It was Natalie's voice, you turned your head and Lottie followed. "What are you doing?" She asked, "we just went out to get some fresh air, Nat." You spoke quietly and cautiously unlike Natalie. It was almost pitch black in the cabin, the moonlight barely peaking through the frosty windows. "Are you sure that's it? You can tell me if Lottie's pulling some weird bullshit again." She talked to you as if Lottie wasn't even in the room, "what?" You scoffed, knowing Nat wasn't the biggest Lottie supporter, though still slightly shocked. "Let's just go to bed, (y/n)." Lottie stressed before turning around to climb up, "Yeah, sure, just pretend like everything's normal." Nat sneered and Lottie sighed. "What's wrong with you? Lottie isn't doing anything." You responded with confusion, you could sense Lottie's discernment of Natalie - how it led her to just avoid her in general, but this same argument had been going on for ages and you were tired of it. "You're just feeding into her delusions, (y/n), like everyone else." Natalie gestured, her eyes never leaving yours. "Whatever." You brushed her off and gave her a disappointed look that said 'really?', making made your way up the ladder - leaving Natalie frustrated.

"Lot, I love you, okay?" You lied under the covers facing her, giving her a kiss on the forehead and brushing her hair out of the way as she warmly smiled with tired brown eyes, before falling asleep. You wanted more, to breathe under her touch, to feel the comfort of her sweetness. But she stayed bitter, and you stayed yearning.

-

The day your parents moved interstate was the day you met Lottie - standing over her porch watching the new neighbours; you, drive in. She brought store bought brownies for your family whilst everyone was under the impression she made them,

"There's no way you made these,"

"Ugh, alright, I didn't. I'm sorry."

She was never that much of a cook. One time you fell ill, staying at hers while your parents were out of town. Lottie had took it upon herself to cook you dinner for the next week, and it was hell.

"Let's just get takeout instead, babe." You would try to reason in the most softest voice possible. Though against your will, she would insist on cooking, bragging about how she had discovered new ingredients. "Here you go." she'd say with an oblivious smile, proud of her pesto-pasta-parsnip concoction, somehow she had managed to make the simplest foods hard to eat, and sometimes it would get so bad that you'd have to fake being too sick to eat. This time round there wasn't much to cook, just tea to brew and herbs that sat around waiting for the next time you were lucky enough to find meat to eat.

"I made you this." Lottie handed you a cup of wild rose tea, you sat on the cabin floor half awake, "Oh, thank you Lot." You smiled, holding the cup with both of your hands in attempt to borrow heat. She sat down next to you, a bothered expression on her face. "(y/n)," she muttered, unsure of how she was to phrase it, "what's going on with you and Natalie?" She asked with curiosity and slight confusion. "What do you mean?" You weren't sure of how to approach her when she spoke to you about other people, her jealousy wasn't something you necessarily wanted to indulge in, and you weren't certain if she was even jealous.

"I mean that I don't have a good feeling about her." Her statement was stern, assertive. "It's like an apparition of her, I guess." This time doubtful of herself, she watched you up and down.

"I mean yeah, she's been acting weird towards you lately, but that's something you'd have to ask-"

"That's not what I'm talking about."

You furrowed your eyebrows at her. Maybe it really was jealousy? Envy that you had been spending more time with Natalie than Lottie, even though to your knowledge you were just helping a friend with hard times. "Talk to me, Lot." You stressed, while placing your hand on her cheek. "If you really do believe in me, you'll stay away from her." She said with slight rigour, you'd never seen her speak to you as harshly as she did in this moment, and your fear was enough to comply. She brushed her sternness off and smiled contently before getting up and leaving, though she hadn't noticed Natalie come up to you straight after. "Are you okay? Did she say something? What happened?"

"Nothing." You got up to follow Lottie and disregarded Natalie as her gaze trailed you.

"What the fuck Lottie?" You exclaimed the words you couldn't just a moment ago, she looked at you confused. The others couldn't hear your voices as you were in the attic, and you used it to your advantage, "you cant just make me ignore Natalie, she's my friend, she needs me." You flailed your arms at her, she took her hoodie down and placed her jacket to the side. It felt like a knife to the chest the way she would talk to you sometimes, of course you wanted to be with Lottie - you loved her, but what did Natalie have to do with anything?

She edged closer to you, walking up to your smaller frame, you clenched your jaw looking at her. "You're not listening to me, (y/n)," she raised her chin, "it wants you to, it wants me to," She stopped and lingered on her last words, "wants you to what, Lottie." You stared up at her; heart racing, trying to induce a response. You were dazed by her superstition, though recently you had your doubts and frustrations, how she would speak of 'it' to brace her cunning, and you had to convinced yourself that it really was an unexplainable truth and not just an excuse to get her way with things.

"It doesn't matter, just listen to me." Her mind was clearly somewhere else. "You haven't even kissed me for the past week, and you expect me to just accept it? I miss you, Lot." You whined at her, "yeah, well, that isn't my main priority." She said coldly, turning around and biting her lip.

"Are you kidding me? I cant deal with you. Talk to me when your heads straight." You ran off, almost in tears from how ignorant she was, and how excruciating the situation was as a whole - why was it so hard to just talk to her?

You walked faster than usual, asking Nat to follow you. Stopping outside behind the cabin, you broke down, Natalie held you as you sobbed into her shoulder, "hey, it's okay." She rubbed your back, "talk to me, what happened?" You calmed down slightly, backing up.

"It's Lottie, I don't even know what happened, she just-"

"I know, you don't have to tell me." Even when you were breaking down crying the angst between Lottie and Natalie was persistent, you didn't pay much attention to it though, considering you were in too much of a mental haze. She brought a hand to your cheek, wiping your tears, "it'll be okay, I promise." You chuckled shyly in return, eyes meeting hers. Natalie watched you tuck your bottom lip in and breathe in shakily, you were too focused on regaining composure to notice her moving closer to you, and all of a sudden you felt her lips on yours, salty tears in her mouth. For a split second you leaned into it, tilting your head slightly to fit her, before abruptly pulling away. "Nat," you spoke, shocked. "I'm sorry, I should've known you weren't into-" her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, "no it's not that, I just," you panicked, "oh," Natalie gave out, finally catching onto yours and Lottie's relationship. "Look, this was a mistake okay? Just forget about it." You rushed, heading back inside.

Somehow you were completely oblivious to Natalie having any romantic feelings towards you, your eyes were wide and your lips were shaking profusely as your gaze was pinned to the floor, shyly opening the cabin door and forgetting to close it, after which you heard Shauna moaning at you with exhaustion and shutting it, focusing her attention back to the fire.

This time you had slept downstairs, ignoring Lottie in your peripheral whenever she'd show up. You carelessly fell asleep on a random throw, trying to block out any memory of today.

-

Your eyelids were heavy, waking up to commotion in the room and a random blanket thrown onto you. "(y/n), wake up." Mari shouted, loud enough for you to blink a few times and stay alert, "what's going on?" You asked, "Nothing, just do your chores." She walked off in unnoticeable frustration. You gently moved the blanket - slightly stumbling, making awkward eye contact with Natalie before picking up an empty bucket.

You were on water duty again, the cold had created a thick layer of ice on top of the lake, though Travis had hacked a small hole into it for water supply recently. You threw a jacket on, zipped it up, and left.

"Wait, (y/n)!" You heard someone from behind you panting, you turned around to see Lottie. "What about the laundry?!" Misty shouted from afar, she simply ignored her and stopped in front of you, "hey," she said, catching her breath, you continued walking as you spoke to her, "what's up?" You looked at her curiously, still silently beating yourself up over whatever happened yesterday.

She stayed silent for a moment, and you felt the need to console her uncertainty, "Lot, I believe you," You stopped behind a tree, placing a hand onto her shoulder "I swear, I do." She knew exactly what you were talking about, how you doubted her despite her persistence against Natalie, and how you were now reassuring her. Lottie paused for a second, mind thinking back to how stubborn you were to acknowledge what Lottie had told you. "Why should I trust you?" She asked quietly, voice breaking almost unnoticeably. All you could do was stare at her in distress, "you promised me that-" she choked on her words. "I know." You scarcely admitted, "but you can't just ignore me, fuck, Lottie - I thought we were over." You cried with prominence. "I'll do whatever you want, I swear, just please talk to me." Tears began forming in your eyes as you pleaded profusely, they glistened sharply against the teethy snow, and she watched them with guilt. Her frigid hands cupped your wet cheeks,

"I love you no matter what." She said, dragging the fear out of you, "I'm sorry." she faltered slightly. Your lips quivered as she moved closer, "I'll always believe in you." You whispered with cold breath, she knew you were hers, and she was yours, and so she kissed you. She pushed further, backing you against a tree, tongue caressing your lips like honey. She pulled away for a second, "(y/n), I mean it, I'm sorry. I should've been there for you, when Ja-" you kissed her back, even harder this time while you wrapped your numb hands around her neck. She stood over you, quiet moans leaving your mouths. You could feel your cheeks flush slowly as her soft skin was finally against yours, you giggled against her as her mouth trailed down to your neck, planting kisses all over you - you felt hungry for her, your hands pushing her head further into you.

A sudden guilty conscience overcame you, remembering Natalie's lips against yours, and you tried to numb it by raising Lottie's face and smashing your lips into hers yet again, tasting her every flavour.

"(y/n), we cant do this here." She broke out, you nodded and headed back.

"Where is the water??" Misty complained, seeing you with an empty bucket at the doorstep, "must've fell out, sorry." You ran up, dragging Lottie with you. As soon as you reached the attic you wrapped your arms around her neck and reached up to kiss her, this time your head was blank, just focusing on satisfying your famine, running your hands all around the back of her head and messing her soft and dark brunette hair up to filth.

Her desire for you was stronger than before, and this time as she trailed down to your neck there was no need to push her in, her mouth was warm and harsh against you - blade-like teeth lightly grazing your skin as you breathed with subtle moans. Your animalistic nails dug into her back and under her shirt, impatient and heavy with impulse; you worshipped her like she was your god, "I want you, Lottie." You whispered inbetween panting, she smirked with a quiet yet deep laugh in response, undoing your shirt with steady hands, you closed your eyes for the last time that day.

-

Natalie came down with a sickness, a kind you've never seen before. It wasn't out of the ordinary, though it still felt unusual, as if she was tampered with. For a moment you felt bad - instinctively wanting to stay by her side, but Lottie wouldn't allow it and you knew it, so you had just left the others to take care of her.

You wouldn't tell Lottie about that one time Nat kissed you, you knew that she knew, somehow and however that was possible.

Trusting her was a given, you life was in her hands and nothing ever went wrong after you'd given in.

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: The Star Wars Hotel

I listened to an episode of the podcast Into A Larger World this morning. The guest, Nick, discussed how much of the public response to Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser was based on misconceptions about what the Starcruiser actually was.

"Calling the Galactic Starcruiser a hotel would be like calling a car a chair," he said. "You sit in it, sure. But that's not why you buy a car."

I've made a few TikToks of clips from my voyage on the Starcruiser, and every once in a while, someone leaves a comment on TikTok or on the reel version of it on Instagram, saying something along the lines of, "$6000 for this?"

I delete these comments. I don't feel like engaging with them. But there's a part of me that wants to say, "Of course not. This is a sixty-second video. Nobody paid that much for merely sixty seconds of just watching. What's the point of saying something like that? What do you get out of believing that you know everything you need to know about a two-day immersive experience from this silly little video I threw together in a futile yet necessary attempt to convey - to celebrate - even a fraction of what this experience meant to me and to everyone else who was a part of it?"

I don't have much footage of my time on the Halcyon. For the first six months of my Starcruiser journey, I was a show writer on the project. Playtests had only just begun, and photos and videos were forbidden. I couldn't tell anyone about this thing we were building together, how much love we were pouring into it, how much hope we had that the world would love it, too.

I then spent a year watching from afar while guests discovered the Halcyon. While they built relationships with the characters. While they realized just how much was always going on, just out of sight. While they ate the food and dressed to fit the world and came up with their own backstories. While they became the heroes of their own Star Wars story. And they loved it. They loved it. I marveled at the knowledge that there was fanfiction, there was fanart, there were return visitors making the journey again and again, the journey I truly never thought I would make once - especially not once it was announced that the ship would close.

My friend Shelby reached out to me, with literally two weeks warning, that they'd found a room. I dipped into my savings account. And, no, I didn't spend $6000. There were five people in our cabin; I spent less than $1300, even with the merchandise I couldn't help but grab. $1300 for a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience this show as a guest, to truly see what had come of it.

I was determined not to metagame. I would not ask the performers for anything, even though I knew most of them. I would not use my pre-knowledge to seek out fun moments - though of course I made sure that my party was looking in the right direction to see Chewbacca enter the dining room, 'cause that's just me being a good friend. I was ready to have fun. I expected to have fun.

I did not expect to be completely blown away.

I've said this before, and I'm sure I'll say it again. One of the most important things to me as a writer is that I create shows that not only are loved by the audience but also by the people involved in bringing the show to life. When I hear an actor laugh while reading a script I wrote, that fills me with joy. When a stage manager thanks me for making sure they have all the information they need on time, I feel like I've done something right. Back in 2018, when I got to bring my parents to see some of the work I'd done for the Incredible Tomorrowland Expo, one of the improv performers ran up to my dad, grabbed him by the arm, and said, "Did you know she's a writer?? You should be so proud!" - and I almost cried.

When I set foot on the Halcyon as a guest, I did not know that I was actually about to experience two days straight of love. Throughout that two day show, every very little thing that every operations crewmember and performer did screamed, "I love this! I love this! I'm giving it my all!" After a year and a half of nigh-on constant performances, through the exhaustion and the stress and the internet hate and the uncertainty about the future, they were still pouring everything they had, every ounce of love, into that show. And I felt that love washing over me in every moment.

It meant the most coming from the performers. Again, I didn't ask them for anything. I told them I would be there and that my crew and I were ready to play. I went in-character, as Shira the mechanic, prepared to pretend I didn't know them.

But they kept dropping hints that they knew me.

The first time I saw Lenka, my crew was already talking to her. My friend Andrew pointed me out, and said, "She's a mechanic." Without missing a beat, Lenka replied, "Yes, I remember, she helped fix the ship after the pirate attack a few months back. It's wonderful to see you again."

Good fortune put us in the right place and the right time to greet Gaya as she came onboard the ship (yay bridge training!). She smiled at me and my friend Shelby and said, "These two look familiar. Now what are you calling yourself these days?"

On the second day, when it came time for the heist, Raithe gave me a job I would have begged for (and, again, I didn't! I wouldn't!). He put his hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "I know I can trust you. I know you understand what's going on here, possibly better than anyone."

And afterwards, when the heist was a success, when I'd handed the gem to Gaya, Raithe looked at me with actual tears in his eyes and thanked me.

And I said, my voice shaking, "I am so honored to have been a part of making this story."

That's a clip I do have. I'm so grateful to Justin, the man who filmed it and shared his footage with me afterwards (and to Shelby, Shannon, Lauren, Sean, Andrew, and Wendy for the photos and videos they took throughout the trip, too). As soon as the moment had passed, I'd already forgotten what any of us had said. It was truly that emotional. The performers understood why, and so did my crew. But the most incredible thing is that that moment meant something even to the people in the room who didn't understand the full meaning of my words. Three different strangers came up to me later that evening, separately, to tell me so - to thank me, even. One of them asked me if this was my first voyage.

"First as a guest," I replied.

This was the middle of August. I'm still riding the high of that show. I am normally a very anxious artist, full of so-called "imposter syndrome." But two days straight of love and validation and pure play will do something to your brain.

$6000 for this? What wouldn't I pay for this?

Even now - even today, September 28th, 2023 - as I type this blog post, the passengers on the final voyage of the Galactic Starcruiser have already boarded, and in less than half an hour, the performers will join them. Less than two days from now, this journey will be over. But I can't believe that this is the end. The end of this show, yes - all shows end, and many before their time. But not the end of the emotion, not the end of the love, not the end of the storytelling and the joy and the play and the together-as-one. I can't believe that. Because this was something that you can't put a price tag on, something that you can't sum up in as simple and easily-mocked as the phrase "the Star Wars hotel," and, frankly, it's silly to try.

We journeyed boldly. We cherished the moment. We made something worth celebrating and remembering. And we will do it again.

To the Halcyon, and to all who made her fly - Ta'bu e tay!

[nobodysdaydreams]

THIS WAS SO GOOD OH MY GOSH! (or my reaction to Wolf359's "Change of Mind")

Well dear readers, you've been hyping this up a lot, so I'm pleased to finally be able to bring you my reaction to "Change of Mind", because I, Bods B. Nobody, have finished my finals, so I get to relax now.

Hahahaha...just kidding. No, no, I have a TON of stuff that I've been putting off to study for finals and write essays that's almost as bad as the finals themselves. Almost. Man I hate logistics. Doug and I really are the same person. I think it's the ADHD, but of all the fictional characters I've seen, he is one of the most surprisingly relatable.

I'll be reacting to this while doing chores, but please enjoy! And I apologize in advance if I don't react again for several weeks, I'm visiting family and friends for the holidays and won't be able to sit down for a while. But I hope to listen to season 4 soon!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Change of Mind:

Oh hi Lovelace. But which one are you? Alien robot clone Lovelace, or the original?

Or maybe someone or something else?

And do you know who you are?

Oh a lucid dream!

Flashback to the old crew! Interesting...Hello Hilbert. I'm not learning how to spell "sell burg". Selburg. is that it?

I see what we're doing. You're gonna make me like the old crew and make me listen to them die and all of Lovelace's trauma? Oldest trick in the book: utilizing flashback land at the right time. Why don't you just take us back to Doug's car crash well you're at it? Oh! Or maybe we can listen to Minkowski's husband hear that his wife died? Oh, no, wait, take us to when Hera tried to escape Pryce's facility, I actually want to see that.

Oh she and Lambert seem to have a bit of a rivalry going on. It's like Doug and Minkowski. They annoy each other, but if anyone else tries to hurt them, they'll go nuts (and probably feel real guilty no doubt).

"Everything alright?" When is it ever alright? This entire show, I don't think we've had one alright day.

Only a matter of time before Hilbert pulls some BS.

LOVELACE IS DOING THE INTRO I LOVE IT! I love when they change who does the intro (I say as I'm sure to eat my words when Cutter and/or Pryce does it).

I'm sorry I have a hard time keeping track of the names. At least Lambert has a distinct voice.

Oh do these two other characters have a bit of thing going on? I love the accents. It's a good way to help me distinguish them, even though I still can't tell who is who. oh yeah Hilbert I know. And geez man no need to be a buzz kill.

Lambert, the people who wrote the manual are sadistic lunatics who need to be imprisoned.

Ah Australian accent guy!

preach it Australian accent guy: "Zip it sir!"

"There's good stuff in these manuals, or they wouldn't be up here either."

Hm. Not sure about that one Australian guy. But we can't be right about everything.

Oh but he is right about Cutter. Cutter DOES get creepier every time. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

"I AM NOT" ...wait. Is Lambert voiced by... (*quick and careful google search to avoid spoilers*) ...Zach Valenti, yeah I heard it that time. Well that explains the nasal voice.

I love how Doug and Sam are both communications officers, and yet so different from each other.

I love Rhea. But I do wonder. Why does she only communicates by beeps? At first I assumed it was because she was an earlier model, and Hera was an upgrade with a voice for easier communication. But then Pryce had that line of "There is a reason I give these things my voice...". But it seems you didn't always have to do that Pryce. I wonder what Rhea did that made her so nervous?

Message from Command? The empty man again? Oh..."your complaints will be processed upon Lovelace’s return to earth?" Cutter was probably giggling to himself when he wrote that.

BOX 953? BOX 953? FINALLY!!!!!

I swear. Cutter and Pryce intentionally send up the most organized, by the book, responsible person they can find up paired with the most ADHD, I don't care, I don't want to be here person they can find just for the purpose of making Hilbert miserable when he has to listen to them fight.

"Who will fight for what is right?" Yeah, I'm sure Lambert and Lovelace will, unlike you Hilbert.

Ah yes the big box. The mysterious big box. We're finally gonna open the great big box. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Is it an alien? Is it a death machine? OH THE SOUND IS BACK!

Right the bolts. But we can do it, please please do it, I've waited a long time just open the box. Shut up Hilbert, no one cares what you have to say, I just want the box open, and you are gonna betray everyone anyway because you're crazy and think Cutter is gonna use Decima for good stuff, but he's gonna use it for eugenics, calling it now, because, guess what? When I was studying for my final, I realized from my lecture notes that "Goddard" is the name of a eugenicist who later apologized for his work, but not before other eugenicists took it and ran with it. And I don't believe that's a coincidence.

🎶 Opening the box. Opening the box. We're finally opening the great big box! 🎶

And..........

.....it's a....machine thing. A weird mechanical machine thing.

...

Okay!

6 openings on the machine...PUT YOUR HANDS INSIDE?

No. Nope. Not doing that. Don't like that. Don't do that.

Oh that sounded painful. That sounded...

Gross. Cutter.

THE WAITING ROOM?

...

THE WAITING ROOM?

I SWEAR THAT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR TMBS PARALLELS IN EVERY MEDIA I CONSUME BUT COME ON. IT HAS THE SAME NAME. THE SAME NAME. And I suppose the first fandom you join tumblr for never truly leaves you, does it? I've only spent about a year on this site, still learning.

Mental blank space? Oh gosh this is gross.

"Of course it's inside your head. But why should that mean it's not real?" Dang it Cutter I was gonna use a similar line in my fic and now I can't. You just can't stop giving me reasons to hate you can you? It's like an Olympic sport to him. Props to the writers though.

Imprint of Cutter's personality? That's the worst personality you could have picked.

Oh I see. Lambert's complaints did this... oh dear... well he's gonna learn his lesson about complaining now...

Complaining = Cutter's torture box.

He's taking them on a "Field Trip?"

With Cutter? I doubt it. *camera cuts Doug moaning*

What happens if they don't solve the mystery before time? And is there even a real timer? And why do I get the feeling YOU KILLED THE CREW CUTTER?

"Talent show went wrong or some sort of incident" I love the irony. I also wonder whether or not some of these crews are clones or whether these trips have happened before. It's a possibility.

Oh great. Australian man has people he cares about on earth. You guys really want to rip my heart out on this one don't you?

Oh who is this? What captain? Who's surrender? Explosives? For who's plan? Who is paying for it? What?

Well. What a nice obliging fella. I love Australian man. He's one of my favorite characters. I'm sorry about name thing.

"From A to E, all my love" Interesting. I wonder that too. Not sure we have characters by those names. Well, Alana, but she's dead and that doesn't really fit her.

Oh a diary. Emily. Who is coming? Are these people supposed to be "fills ins" for them. Like to show them what might happen if they went crazy or rebelled against Cutter? This is messed up.

Someone would do that? ...oh. If this was a real event, Cutter is making Hilbert live through it all over again. Which means Hilbert has to act like he doesn't know what's going on but also does because they are being timed.

I hope they use that for comedy: Hilbert: "oh look! Clue! I mean um...I think, I was not here this did not happen I do not know."

Katherine who? Who destroyed the samples? ...four glass tanks.

What um...what happened to the fifth glass tank? The spiders? Something worse?

Oh my gosh. The heartbeat coming from the box when Doug found it. The fact that it was so large...no wait, this is a simulation, never mind. I thought I had something there.

Cutter you can't edit the simulation that's not fair. Back on the Hephaestus? Why do I doubt it. Oh Rhea. Good work Rhea! But um...I have my doubts...

"A shame not to know" it is, but it would be even more foolish to investigate.

"I have a weird feeling we're not at rock bottom yet...I don't want to crash into it..." oh you have no idea Lovelace.

"It could be important" not in the way you think Lambert. Not in the way you think Lambert.

"There's a thing following us" I knew it wasn't over yet.

The empty man cometh.

...Oh great. Lovelace that's not funny. Doing stuff like that triggers the dramatic irony.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Dramatic Irony Cometh.

Ah! Here it is. Who said "Tell me about it?" Was that Doug? How would that even be possible? Was that Cutter? This is weird. I can't tell whose voice it is exactly.

Oh Australian man is getting closer to the truth. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it Hilbert?

"Is anyone there?" Someone is always there.

Aw poor Rhea. She knows what's happening to Fischer. :( Or she's mocking Hilbert.

"How did I end up back here?" You're still in the simulation.

Who is there? The empty man. He escaped his box! Or you're still in the simulation. Or both.

Rhea is calling out your BS Hilbert.

Dmitri?

How does she know his name? And why do I think Rhea isn't the one doing this. I do like the idea of the ship's architecture changing.

No change in the star. Yet something is happening.

Empty men time!

Or...empty...dog? Time? What's with the growl?

Wings? Tentacles? A what? Monster YOU imagined?

Well then. We're still in the simulation.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't figured it out." Who is that?

Is that Cutter? Why did he sound almost normal for a second. Oh no that is him.

A singing telegram would be nice.

"So we never made it out?" ...in more ways than one.

Yeah. Rhea can't be here. She's not connected.

Called it.

...um. Who is THIS?

57 COPIES? Aries. Don't like her. Is that how it's spelled? Aires? Eres? Erase?

If it's in your heads she very much CAN hurt you.

And the temporal stuff is interesting. A story out of order. So technically...oh my gosh there are so many theories I can make out of this. But I gotta keep cleaning so I'll just let the episode play out.

The next room? When does this end?

Ah Hilbert. I was wondering where he was.

A week of time? TIME DIALATION?

Okay...if anyone has seen black mirror and saw my entry for Pryce on my post about Christmas music that reminds me of Wolf359 characters, you'll know that I already know that Hui is about to come out of this a scarred and desperate man. (some of you might already understand what I'm talking about...)

This is terrifying. Hui has to be horrified. Lovelace...oh and they're making Victoria ask for the clues, this is cruel. The speed up sound effects make it so much worse. It really is like Black Mirror.

Also... is this aging him? And a week of time...is that an earth week? We're talking about earth weeks right?

Took something from the person who killed them. Okay. Another clue.

Are you sure Selberg? If this is an old memory that Cutter is showing him, then I think he would be...unless this is different than what Hilbert experienced before.

"Everyone would have gotten spaced" ...right. Is there gonna be a big twist where they all got blown out the window on talent show night in season 1 and everything we're seeing is a simulation of their consciousness.

Ah the alien clones are here! Which means Cutter has known about them for a while.

They could also both be fake. Or both real, if they make an AI copy of his consciousness.

Additional medical exams? oh really getting into the questions now.

"I'm not Fischer" ... okay, but you have to have them both do it though...

...or not.

Okay so Fischer is the Australian one. But he could be fake too you should test him.

Good, asking them both questions. Smart. Good work Lambert.

I hate dark rooms too.

Change of Mind?

Sudden Death?

"If both of you press don't, you get to go up to the bridge"

IT'S THE PRISONERS DILEMMA ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE ALL MY FANDOMS CONNECTED?

Lovelace Do, Lambert Don't, delete all Lambert's memories of manual, brain rejects desire to read? Don't do it Lovelace. Don't do it.

Lovelace Don't, Lambert Do, all crew will think he's the commander.

Guys this should not be tempting.

Both press "Do" they get liquified.

Okay. So I was right about the dilemma. Eres shut up. Stop trying to liquify their brains! Now this is an AI I believe was created by Pryce and Cutter.

Oh she's making Lambert tell the truth. Lambert this is the part where you tell her it's okay to press do because you'll press don't. It's not worth it, throw in the towel. NOT TIMES UP!

Let's not be stupid.

Lambert: Don't. Good job Lambert. Thank you Lambert.

Lovelace: Don't. Good job Lovelace.

End of the game? Why do I not believe you?

End of the line? I don't like that. Why is Lovelace by herself? I don't like rooms that are just for one person. Those never go well.

Ah. The bridge. Is that Eres? She sounds young. Oh she's apologizing. Aw, she hoped they'd make it and was only programmed to hurt them. This is...so sad. Oh dear. A gun.

"You should fight this" "And what?" "This is what they made me for. This doesn't have to be sad."

"Just because someone made you something doesn't means that's all you're going to be" VERY true, both for the alien clones and the AI.

Oh great it's Cutter. Oh HE kills her. Why am I not surprised.

Another message? ✉️

"Training program might not be up to international law. By ripping up this paper, you are absolving us." I'd save that paper forever.

So the training program was wiped? Eres is gone.

Rhea: "It's just the way they programmed her, back off."

Oh poor Rhea 🥺

Aw Victoria is trying to cheer him up. I wonder what he does remember. A bad dream? Interesting.

That's nice, they're reading together. Not much time left in the episode. I wonder what's left.

So...wait. What was in the box when Doug went to open it? Was it the same machine? He said he heard a heartbeat.

At least Lambert and Lovelace seem to be getting along. Those kinds of experiences really do bring people together.

Ah more music. 🎶🎶🎶🎶

Cutter???

Why this day? Cutter you idiot. It's obvious. And she is going to mess you up someday Cutter. Dramatic irony cometh Cutter. Dramatic irony cometh.

Ah Doug is back! Kepler shut your mouth, I still need you to grab your redemption arc or drown in Whiskey. And you better make your choice quickly, because we only have one season left. Tik-tok errand boy, tik-tok.

Ready or not. Empty man cometh!

[melis-writes]

Why you don’t like Apollonia? (I get this vibe from u, but correct me if I’m wrong)

You're 100% correct about the vibes. 🤣🤣 I don't like Apollonia at all, whatsoever and it's because the Godfather fandom completely ruined her character for me. 🥰

It's not just the new Godfather enjoyers, like gen z or millennials but also the boomers. Apollonia is sadly a vessel for misogyny in the Godfather from Apollonia stans alone. I can't look past it even if I tried; I get Apollonia stans commenting nasty shit on my gifsets of Kay (that's how annoying + bothered they are) and trying to start discourse over any post that highlights a miniscule positive thing about Kay Adams.

It's disgusting to see how Apollonia is glorified for being the quiet, submissive and obedient housewife. She's what Michael "needs" and is the "perfect wife" and the ones that put Apollonia on a pedestal like this are misogynists, vehemently sprout the nastiest shit about Kay and women like Kay that you'll ever hear, talk about how Apollonia could have "changed" and "fixed" Michael (dude is beyond redemption and is almost a sociopath) and could have birthed him "lots of babies". Literally, that's all Apollonia is "known" for and loved for, it's pathetically sad. The bar really is in hell.

So while Apollonia is praised for all of these hypothetical scenarios, Kay and women like Kay are shit on, ridiculed and picked apart to pieces. It's disgusting and whether it's a boomer enjoyer or someone my age, they'll be saying the exact same shit like it's scripted or clockwork or something about Apollonia every single time.

Apollonia's young age is also glorified even though she's a minor/child, and don't even get me started on the scene of her undressing in front of Michael--I know it's a little off topic and more about Simonetta as an actress but the fact that there's grown ass men fawning over a minor's breasts makes me want to actually vomit.

Putting aside the misogynistic culture some Godfather fans have placed upon Apollonia here, I don't like the character itself. To me, it's obvious she was a filler, empty character Mario Puzo wrote and used to develop Michael's character development because she's literally never mentioned again unless you want to count Michael confessing to Kay he "slept with someone" in the book while he was abroad.

Apollonia was never in love with Michael and Michael wasn't in love with her. Apollonia's father got giddy at the idea of his daughter's beauty bringing in a rich, powerful and influential man who was the son of a Vito Corleone. Nobody cared what else Michael had to offer the Vitelli family besides reputation, wealth and physical protection. Nothing even mentions if anyone cared how Michael would treat Apollonia but oh boy, Michael showed it well. He literally refused to let her leave home for a week and all he did was have sex with her over and over again. And every single time, Apollonia would just get up, shower, fuck off and do something and Michael would just lay there. She would just do whatever he wanted and yet somehow, the Godfather fandom is screaming "true love" and "soulmate" when it's literally just Michael being horny. I need y'all to understand this man was thinking with his dick only.

I don't care who likes/stans Apollonia, all I want is for people to be respectful about the whole Apollonia and Kay thing. If Apollonia's as amazing as some people claim, then I'd sure hope she can brought up without the mention of Michael being in a relationship with her and without dissing Kay in the same sentence (IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE EDITION).

Apollonia and the whole Sicily arc is so far gone and damaged to me that I just skip that scene when watching the movie and pretend it didn't happen because of all the bullshit that went out in the fandom and is still ongoing today. 😐

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book blurb:

Unforgettable, snarky, and romantic, I Hope This Doesn't Find You is Never Have I Ever meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before if Lara Jean wrote hate emails instead of love letters.

Sadie Wen is perfect on paper: school captain, valedictorian, and a "pleasure to have in class." It’s not easy, but she has a trick to keep her model-student smile plastered on her face at all times: she channels all her frustrations into her email drafts. She'd never send them of course -- she'd rather die than hurt anyone's feelings -- but it's a relief to let loose on her power-hungry English teacher or a freeloading classmate taking credit for Sadie's work.

All her most vehemently worded emails are directed at her infuriating cocaptain, Julius Gong, whose arrogance and competitive streak have irked Sadie since they were kids. "You're attention starved and self-obsessed and unbearably vain . . . I really hope your comb breaks and you run out of whatever expensive hair products you've been using to make your hair appear deceptively soft . . ."

Sadie doesn't have to hold back in her emails, because nobody will ever read them . . . that is, until they're accidentally sent out.

Overnight, Sadie’s carefully crafted, conflict-free life is turned upside down. It's her worst nightmare -- now everyone at school knows what she really thinks of them, and they're not afraid to tell her what they really think of her either. But amidst the chaos, there's one person growing to appreciate the "real" Sadie -- Julius, the only boy she's sworn to hate . . . .

Review:

Rival academics with a touch of To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this story about a girl who's emails about her rival and the entire school are sent... and now she has to deal with the fall out of it as well as possibly falling for the one guy she never thought she would. For 10 years Sadie Wen and Julius Gong have been competing against each other. They've made everyone at school's life a bit difficult with their extreme need to beat each other. Sadie hates Julius, she hates how perfect he is, how handsome he is, how smart and mean he is. The only way to vent her angry? Draft up emails to him and everyone else whenever they make her angry... except now suddenly all those emails have been sent out. Now everyone is getting to see the real Sadie, and the careful "perfect" image of herself is going up in flames. Yet one person seems to appreciate the real her... and it's none other than Julius. The more Julius and Sadie begin to talk to each other after the truth is revealed the more complicated the feelings begin to grow and Sadie is starting to realize that maybe the boy she's been obsessively trying to beat... the one person who is constantly on her mind might be the perfect person for her. This one was meh for me, I had really high hopes for it but it kind of fell flat unfortunately. I just couldn't really vibe with Sadie and the situations she ended up in just didn't make sense. Sadie is suppose to be super intelligent but can't even keep a diary or oh I dont know, a word doc of letters but saved a ton of draft emails and then doesn't make sure that they are properly locked up and can't be sent? I don't believe it. Also she goes from being outspoken and to being walked over by people, she'll want to out do Julius but never speaks out about people using her and letting herself be a pushover to please people? Pick a lane girl, either you can stand up for yourself and are a go getter or a timid people pleaser. Also the romance with Julius barely even felt there and I love academical rivals to lovers stories. It literally barely happens by the end of the book. I wish I liked this book more, it had the elements of all the things I usually love, but it just missed the mark for me sadly. If you enjoy academic rivals to lovers give this one a go, maybe you'll have a better time with it than I did.

*Thanks Netgalley and Scholastic, Scholastic Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[soulsillk]

hi!! i'm new to the soulsilk fandom. could you explain the ship name to me? thank you so much!

Just to preface, this is only my name for them that I came up with 😅 nobody else calls them this and their name pretty much changes everywhere depending on who's talking about them: the most common is just petermiles— petermiles/petemai is most common on twitter and in most other places too, Marin27 and Angelette on AO3 call it Spidey Squared, and this is what I came up with on my own before (to my knowledge) anyone one else who wrote for them did, at least publicly I guess???

Or at least, before I was aware that other people had come up with a name for them too!!!

All of my friends call them this, though that doesn't really mean anything in the larger picture 🤧 so call them whatever you like!!!

That being said, the reason why I called them this is because they're soulmates and because "silk" to keep it spider themed, but past that it has a deeper meaning. This name has a tie to the Web of Life and how I see them as being destined to be, and then even further beyond that, it's a direct reference to "Tu Sangre..." (my main fic) and how it cements that idea into a reality.

In the third "book" Karn and the Web of Life make an appearance along with time travel: Miles in the present, Peter in the future, and (their son) Dante in the past.

To revive Miles (since he dies through torture because of Oscorp experimenting on him) Dante gets teleported mentally to Karn and the Web of Life where Karn lets him pluck Miles' soul thread off the Web of Life and it's revealed that (in my universe) Benjy Parker isn't The Scion, but instead Dante. The reasoning for this is explained as such by Karn:

{ "Little Scion, it pains me to meet you this way." ... "I wish there was a kinder force behind my greeting, but the web has many sayings. I suppose then that this must be its hello... and I imagine that you shall be its goodbye."

"The web? The web of what... exactly?"

"Of life. It connects us all. Your parents, you, and every deviation that departs from your creation. You're the life that flows through it, Scion. It made you, gave you breath, guided you to love, protected you until you were in the arms of your true guardians. Guardians who have done a most excellent job in raising you, I must say."

"You mean my parents..."

"I do. Your father, Peter, was the original. The host of The Other, and then time passed, and The Other ceased to exist. Your father didn't need it anymore. That's when his other half was made... the completion of his destiny. The fighting sun. The web's grace. The ultimate act of devotion to your father's soul. The last favor The Other ever granted: your other father. Together, their entwined souls make the strings of fate. Together, they made you. The Scion of all realities. The new god." The Master Weaver smiles warmly. "Though, I imagine this means nothing to you. Not yet." }

This is why I ended up naming my fic trilogy "The Soulsilk Trilogy."

So, yeah, that's pretty much everything to it and all the lore behind the little name I came up with for them.

It's cute, it's concise, it sounds nice with its snappy alliteration (even though I'm still lowkey a little embarrassed by it and sometimes think it's cheesy or whatever 😅), and ultimately the name holds everything I believe about Peter and Miles: that they're best friends, that they were created for one another, that they were destined, that they share the same symbols and names and souls and life with one another, that they're tied in ways that are unbreakable— and like a spider's silk, that bond has the strength of all the devotion they hold for each other, and in turn, is the metaphorical "red string of fate" between them.

I hope that answer was satisfying and that it cleared everything up for you!!!! Take care 💖☺️💗

[gonnahackyourheart]

I posted 102 times in 2022

6 posts created (6%)

96 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hacked-by-jake

@slow-hazel

@incorrectnessduskwood

@duskwoodraven

@gonnahackyourheart

I tagged 67 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#cleaning my drafts into queue - 59 posts

#fanfiction - 6 posts

#duskwood - 3 posts

#dan the man - 2 posts

#alan bloomgate - 2 posts

#so i am playing ep 10 - 2 posts

#finally playing duskwood for ep10 that i havent played yet - 1 post

#xd - 1 post

#🤣🤣 - 1 post

#ducks - 1 post

Longest Tag: 69 characters

#right? they're all anxions but still need to have regular photoshoots

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

😳

(get it, it’s a gif of aurora)

Phil x MC; group x MC

Word count: 799 Reading time: 00:03:11 (says Hemingwayapp)

A/N: I know the ending is rushed, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

(not the one im proud of, just getting it ot after a year)

You’d thought that Duskwood would welcome me with open arms. That I’d step out of the bus into sunny town and go and surprise my friends with a visit. No. It was pouring, the bus was late and my friends weren’t answering.

When I stepped onto the sidewalk near the town’s square, it was already dark. I hid in the opposite house’s entrance and checked my phone. Still no text. I didn’t tell anyone about my trip, I thought I’d surprise them. They planned to go to Aurora tonight, which seemed like a good opportunity to see everyone. So I decided to go right to the bar and try to find them there. Navigating through the town wasn’t that difficult, I had the town's map well memorised. I was in front of the bar in no time.

It was pretty busy at Aurora. I removed my wet coat at the entrance and looked around. There was no familiar face. Except one tall figure behind the bar. I wanted to ignore him and squeeze past him unnoticed, but as on cue, he turned his head towards the door. His shit-eating grin showed that he recognized me immediately. Well, he could know where everybody was.

He served a drink and walked over to me. “Hello beautiful. To what do I owe the pleasure?” “Hi Phil. I heard these woods are great for hikes, thought I’d try it.” “Let me know if you need someone to keep you company. Want a drink?” I nodded. He went away before I could say what I wanted. He was back in seconds. “On the house.” He winked at me as he put a drink in front of me. “How did I deserve that?” I asked. “You came all this way to visit me. I am flattered.” “Wow, am I that see-through?” I asked and sipped the drink. He correctly guessed what I liked, which was impressive. “Do you know where Jessy is?” “She’s in the booth in the corner with everybody else. She didn’t say you were coming” “Because she doesn’t know. You are not fighting anymore?” “We are working on it.” His eyes drifted off behind me for a moment. “I hope it’s not the last time I see you. You still owe me an autograph,” he reminded me of our last and only chat. I didn't have a chance to answer, because someone's arms wrapped around me. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you let me now?” “Jessy!” I gasped and hugged her back. “I wrote to you when I was near Duskwood, but nobody answered.” “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn't check my phone all evening. I can’t wait to introduce you to everyone!” “Wait, I don't want to leave my bag behind,” you pointed towards your backpack at the foot of the stool. She turned to Phil: “Hey, can they leave their bag in the back room?” Phil shrugged. “Fine with me.” “Great!” Jessy exclaimed, grabbed my bag and my hand, and pulled me towards the nearby door. “See you later,“ I threw in Phils direction. “Looking forward to it,” he gave me another wink and turned back to other customers.

It was more quiet in the backroom. Jessy put my bag next to the table. ”Don’t worry, it’s safe here. I hope Phil didn’t bother you.” “We barely talked.” She turned to me and grabbed my hands. “I am really happy you're here,” she beamed at me. “It’s so strange to see you before me. Now you are not only speech bubble anymore” “Well, you should get used to it, I wanna be here for two weeks.” I grinned at her. “That’s awesome.” She squeezed my hands. “But now you have to meet others.”

She led me into the back booth. Richy spotted us first and hopped out of his seat to spin me around. And then I traveled from his arms to another, greeting with everyone. They found me a seat in the middle. The conversation was light spirited from the start, nobody wanted to discuss events of the last two weeks. I felt very comfortable, right in the middle of their teasing and playful bickering. Richy was the one who dragged me onto the dancing floor. We chatted and danced till morning. Or rather Arora's closing hour, which was around one in the morning.

During the night I stole a glance towards the bar, to find Phil looking at me milliseconds later, smiling. ‘This trip will be interesting’ I tought. Then I averted my gaze back to the group. I was so grateful that I could be there with everyone. Sun smiled upon me, despite the rain.

3 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

#4

Jake 🤗

4 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#3

MC, after chatting to a new man is available

7 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#2

What is with Donfort siblings and wanting help from me, calm down guys, there's three of you and only one of me! Gimme a break

7 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

MC, after chatting to a new man is available

11 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[incarnateirony]

aw that's cute. After 2p0's direct association for years ongoing with the most vile, violent, abusive, lying assholes in this fandom was called out because of their multiple public con violations, he's pretending he's not calling them out because uwu he's being a reasonable moderate.

no dude. you got busted. you're a raging sociopath. Don't wax poetic about the science of the amplification of bad takes. You ARE the bad takes. Your entire BLOG is the bad takes. It's lies, it's filth, it's manipulation, it's bad sources, it's bad whispers, you've never landed anything meaningful correctly in your life in leaks, shut the fuck up you clout seeking, real life incest advocating pedophilic man child. No guys I'm not kidding, once he wiggles you off destiel and warms you up to his darkships after a year or two he starts advocating real life incest being considered LGBTQ. He's done it to a few people. Read his HBO takes. once he gets real comfy he's fucked your head up enough the rot comes out.

You're being held to what you do, who you are, and what you say, finally, and the heat's just starting. If yall think I'm done with last con boy son you have something else coming.

Meanwhile, "reboot is stalled" is another flat lie from a nobody source acting big. Reboot isn't even in pre prod yet to stall. Reboot has barely been scratched at with a few pitches people shuffled ideas into, among which jared was one among many, but 2p0's already skewing that information, but there's no meaningful formula for it beyond estimated date of release they have three years to reach, they're good, don't let 2p0 blow smoke about reboot or revival talk to anyone on that. It'd be a stretch to call it In Development. It is technically, but fandom fails to understand how hilariously broad that is.

Because the current project is Winchesters, and don't let him deflect, and definitely don't let him continue to lie on behalf of the frazzy haired incest hags that pipeline him reworded half baked greets he pretends is intel through his own following reimaginations.

I keep telling yall. It's over. It's ending this season. This show. Your lies and hopes and dreams are crumbling just like when you denied the confession S15 coming when it was already written and some of us knew dude.

lmfao like seriously dude. whole clown show on your part. it was the only reason berens stayed, first thing written on the season, some of us said it, and yall even kept denying it once some people already had the scripts a bajillion years later. Like the uncanny, self indulgent arrogance you presented, talking down like you knew and it's like. no dude they wrote it first, are you ok.

no genuinely how were you not embarrassed to make confused unga bunga noises about what beren shipped, was writing, or where he was going. Or that dog whistling you did pretending it was wrong to see wayward parallels by twisting feminist dialogue when berens himself was verbally happy we saw the parallels day one. Dude he grabbed the Destiel ship in like S10 at wayward cocktails specifically after saying he wasn't supposed to pick sides. You only pretended not to know, to use dogwhistles to send young shippers at authors that didn't know better, by misappropriating real issues.

but you always be like this. Remember you spent 5k to be wrong about the omissions and the roadhouse dabb tweeted out. i'm just highlighting this so you properly have to delete yourself from the digital pool in shame for how loud you got. You didn't learn from this weekend I guess. You're already nailed down, I got a nailgun, and we got about ten more episodes, son.

The man couldn't recognize an authentic pilot script but sure man he's got great WB sources that are feeding him magical news from the future. Fascinating, the magical time traveling from 2025-2026 WB worker only now manifested as a pipeline of information for him after Gayle and her entire posse burned down as M&G sources to give him attention. Oh and after Jules had to back away from playing with him. Almost like your inability to stop wrongly running your mouth has burned your bridges or something idk

This time, dudes. 2p0 swears this time he'll have something right. He didn't have the market testing, and didn't have berens intent, or the confession, or the roadhouse, or the omissions, or the pilot script, or the shape the series would be in its moral play, but this one, goddamnit, he swears he's right because he says so and his new magical WB friend from the future says so. They're filling in the Gayle M&G gap of "look at me, I have secrets." that he warps. he tends to have to make up friends like that when he doesn't have attention of his own.

He tries to be me. tries to mimic ratings talk and fails. But he doesn't get it. He can trade in a million M&Gs and never do what I do. You're trading in twice translated rumors dude. I'm trading in BTS, scripts, production events you don't even know the history of and more. These aren't the same world. Your rumor mill will never compete in the actual production world of Events Happening. that's the real world. i know it drives gayle and co bonkers that they can't pay pass to it but that's just how it is, sorry.

[fuck-goes-on]

Blush

pairing/s: peter parker x gn! reader

summary: when you and peter start going out, he notices how you freeze every time he makes a move

warning/s: AROMANTIC READER, fluff, small angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety and intrusive thoughts (both reader and peter), talks about romantic attraction

story note/s: this can be read as any peter version, but i did imagine tobey!peter as i wrote this, also, i haven't written in months, so be prepared for rusty writing LOL

personal note/s: SO i've made some discoveries about myself, meditated about my thoughts and feelings, and ultimately tried to accept myself and this new identity, and i don't know how else to vent it out but writing it into a story. so yes im in the aromantic spectrum (as well as asexual), this story is more based on MY personal experience and thoughts about being aromantic, which ive only discovered like,, two months ago? but it hasn't really sunk in yet LOL anyways read this with that knowledge

masterlist ¦¦ navigation

When Peter asked you out on a date for the first time, he was shifting on his feet as he anxiously waited for your response. It was nerve-wracking, seeing you stay still, looking at him with your wide eyes and mouth open. His smile slowly fell the longer you took, and he started to think Ned was wrong when he told him that you liked him back.

Before he could spiral deeper down in his thoughts, you let out a squeak, your face flushing as you press your hands on your cheeks and look down. He heard you mutter curses under your breath and saw your eyes darting up to his face and back to the ground. He would have been endeared by it if he didn't notice your breath picking up.

"H-Hey, it's no big deal if you don't want to," He said, hovering his shaking hands over you, scared that you'd pull away, "D-Don't worry about it! Like— Like it's fine, no problem, coolio, definitely alright, totally ok—"

"Yes," You finally spoke, and now it was his turn to freeze up. He saw your face, still heated up, with your determined expression and hopeful eyes. The corners of your mouth quivered as he smiled brightly.

"R-Really?" "Really."

——————————————————————

When Peter waited for you to show up, he thought you wouldn't; Though you said you would, there wasn't anything to worry about. You even texted him when and where! Really, he wasn't sweating like crazy and his senses weren't acting up because he was nervous it was a fluke. Definitely.

However, nobody can prove Peter sighed in relief when he saw you waving at him as you crossed the street. The two of you stared at each other before he broke the stillness and opened the door of the diner for you. You smiled gratefully and led him to an empty booth by a window.

It wasn't all that awkward at first, just a little stilted, but as time went on, you both relaxed and joked around; Talking about Star Wars and the new and upcoming series following the Mandalorian; Gushing about how cute the baby yoda was and discussing how it would all mean for the franchise.

Peter was immensely glad that you loved Star Wars as much as he did. It was kind of a deal breaker, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone other than Ned.

"Okay, but I'm just saying," You say as you sip on the straw of your chocolate milkshake, "Obi-wan should have told Luke in the beginning, then maybe Luke would have been more prepared to face Darth Vader."

Fuck, Peter liked you so much.

——————————————————————

When Peter started dating you, he was ecstatic; He felt like he was on cloud nine with the way you could call him yours and he could call you his. The conversation between you two was so easily made and the inside jokes in your relationship would make nobody laugh but you and Peter.

It was almost perfect. Except…

Whenever Peter tried to do anything affectionate — holding your hand, wrapping his arm around you, kissing your cheek, anything remotely romantically affectionate — you would tense up and take moments before you would get used to the feeling.

At first, Peter thought he was doing something wrong; Perhaps he was moving too fast for you? Or maybe you didn't like him as much as he liked you?

It was all so confusing to him.

——————————————————————

When Peter kissed you for the first time, it was out of nowhere.

Now, usually people ask for consent before doing anything with another person. But Peter assumed. He assumed and that was his mistake.

It was just a lovely day and the both of you were watching Star Wars together, but surprisingly neither of you were paying attention. Instead, you were locked into conversation; About the past, about the present, and about the future.

But when Peter felt you grab and hold his hand in the middle of the conversation? He held his breath as he watched you sigh and smile shyly at him.

Then, he kissed you.

Peter tapped your chin with a finger before tilting your head up slightly. He leaned in, all his focus towards your lips, until — softness bloomed all throughout his body. And yet, you didn't kiss him back.

When Peter pulled back, he saw you frozen, eyes blank, mouth sealed shut, and body tense. He panicked and put distance between you two, learning from past actions that when things got too much for you, it would be better if he wasn't touching you. No matter how much he did.

It took you a while to snap out of it, and when you did, Peter was a mess.

"I am so sorry, angel," Peter started, "I'm sorry I didn't ask if it were okay to kiss you, that was wrong of me, especially since I know how much you don't like being touched like that—"

"Wait, stop," You said, raising up your hand to make him pause, "Hold on, what do you mean I don't like being touched?" The genuine tone of your voice sent him into a flurry of confusion.

"I meant that… I've noticed that whenever I touch you, you just freeze up and get this faraway look in your eyes," He explained, feeling sheepish and kind of ashamed, "i thought, maybe, it was because of me, but you held my hand just now, and I assumed — which is so bad in hindsight — that you weren't so opposed to doing romantic stuff with me, and it felt like a romantic moment, so I—"

You pressed the palm of your hand to Peter's mouth, effectively cutting him off. You looked at his with a sad and embarrassed expression; He hated seeing that expression on you.

"Pete, thank you for noticing and trying your best to make me feel comfortable," You started fidgeting on your seat as you leaned back, "I don't know how to say this any better, but I'm on the aromantic spectrum, Peter."

He was dumbfounded. He wasn't all that educated on identity, and he didn't want to assume any more than he already has; So, he asked, "What does that mean?"

"Well, for me personally, I find it hard to do romantic things and differentiate romantic feelings from platonic ones," you said, gazing away towards the window. You suddenly jolted and turned to Peter with wide eyes, "Not that it means I don't feel anything for you! I do! I really do! It's just that I feel different than romantic feelings.

You… You make me so incredibly happy, Peter. So happy that I am nearly bursting at the seams with it. Every day I wait for the time when I am reunited with you because I want to spend it with you. You are so special to me and whatever I feel for you goes beyond love. It's pure, unbridled joy and excitement. For our present and for our future together."

It's not long before both you and Peter are tearing up and crying in front of each other. Your hands gripped tight onto his, afraid that if they faltered, then they would never get to hold his hands again. Peter lifted one of his hands up to your face, hovering it over your cheek before you lean into it.

"Love can't describe the way I feel about you, Peter. And I mean that in the most affectionate way I can."

"I feel the same way," Peter said after a while. He leaned in again, but this time it was to press your foreheads together. You both relished the contact, feeling comfort and understanding buzzing between you two, "Thank you for telling me all this, angel. Thank you for trusting me."

"No, thank you for listening and understanding, Pete," You smiled brightly at him, it almost made him squint from the shine, "You don't know how much this means to me."

After a while of just basking in each others presence, Peter quipped out loud.

"Does this mean when I say I love you, you'll say 'I know' like Han Solo?"

You laughed together, emotions that were more than that word 'love' radiating from both of you.

It was perfect.

taglist: @goat-monarch

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

[INSTAGRAM]

♡ 602 likes

y/n Humph!

129 Comments | Tagged: cherylbombshell

view comments

♡ 584 likes

Cheryl busy being my own icon

98 Comments | Tagged: y/i/n

view comments

"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺😇

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

[qianinterprises]

Summer '78

Pairing | bully!Jeno x chubby!Reader

Warning(s) | bullying, harsh words, cussing, sexual assault, name calling, fat shaming, poor shaming, face slapping, angst, hurtful comments, yelling, the Dreamies are not nice people (I know I did Jaemin wrong, I'm sorry)

Synopsis | Jeno was a bully, and you were his primary victim. Nothing should have changed, but Jeno began getting tired of bullying the girl he was in love with simply because she didn't conform to societies beauty standards. So she was chubby? So what?! His friends didn't see it that was.

Genre | ANGST, retro-flashback

Author’s Notes | So I wrote this a while back for an event of NCTA, which was basically writing a retro fic. This fic is very different than the fics I usually write. For one, it is told in Jeno's perspective rather than the readers. For two, this is a "chubby fic." Meaning the reader is seen in the fic as having a larger body weight, which, may I add here, is not a problem, nor should it ever be. If you are being bullied for anything, please don't let it go unreported. Report it as many times as you have to because bullying is not ok, whether it's done at school, at home, or anywhere else. Also, there is a possibility that there will be a part two, I have had some people (before posting it here) request a part two but I'm on the fence about that, but perhaps a part two will show some change and growth on Jeno's part. So we'll see. Tell me your opinions though! I hope you enjoy~

Word Count | 3.5k

Taglist | @treasuretaeil @hachanbaecon @nschitty

A group of six boys sat around a table talking and laughing until a loud crash resounded through the snack shack that brought their attention to a waitress on the floor, yellow heels scattered behind her, empty tray in her hands and spilled drinks everywhere as well as on a girl by the table the waitress had fallen at.

“Clutz,” one of the boys, Jeno, mumbled, shaking his head.

“Fatass,” Jeno’s best friend, Jaemin responded.

The other four muttered something along the lines of agreement as they watched the waitress cowering on the floor with a bright red face as the girl now covered in cola shrieked about her ruined clothing and hair.

Jaemin got up from his seat angrily.

“What the hell are you doing to my girlfriend!” he yelled, approaching the pair.

“Jaeminnie! She poured soda all over me!” the girl pouted, running into Jaemins arms.

Jeno rolled his eyes.

Jeno shook his head. Out of all of the boys in their biker gang, Jaemin just had to be the most gullible, falling for the Queen Bee of the high school who used him for nothing more than his money and face.

“She ruined my shirt,” Jeno heard the girl whine.

Jaemin embraced her tighter.

“You’ll have to pay for her clothing, fatty!” Jaemin demanded.

The waitress was someone Jeno recognized. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). She had been one of his best friends when he was a shy ten year old trying to fit in. They both befriended Jaemin and the rest of their group and somewhere along the way, he’d gotten muscular and tall while she’d gotten chubby. With Jeno’s looks, he’d always been popular with girls, but when he became interested in them as more than friends, he’d dumped the girl in favor of girlfriends.

She was a bullied girl wearing outdated clothing that made adequate grades. A nobody. She didn’t fit into any groups. She drifted through high school being shoved against lockers while her books were thrown across the hallway and what little lunch money she had was stolen. More often than not, Jeno or one of the other guys was the perpetrator.

“I can’t…” (y/n) muttered, looking down at the floor.

Jaemin kicked the carrying tray away from her, making the girl flinch.

Something in Jeno’s heart snapped against his chest, but he’d never allow it to escape. He watched tears gather in the corner of the girl's eyes and Jeno fought the urge to pull her to his chest.

Feelings began to stir their first year in high school when he and (y/n) had been seated side-by-side in homeroom and he’d leaned over to tease her about her recent, awkwardly styled hair when he’d met the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.

The feelings made his stomach twist in knots and his body tingled. Feelings and sensations that only grew stronger when their skin brushed or when her angelic voice met his ears.

The feelings were what drove him to brash treatment. His hands shoving her shoulders against the lockers as he demanded for her money. Fingers harshly tugging at the ends of her hair. His voice yelling horrible things at her just to hear her speak back.

He couldn’t tell anyone how he was feeling either. Dating the chubby girl would cause him to lose whatever popularity he had obtained along with his pride and his gang. Their leader couldn’t be seen as the weak punk who decided to date the chubby girl from a poor family.

Jaemin sneered down at the blushing girl, taunting her loudly and Jeno watched her feeble attempt at hiding her face.

“Jaemin! Let’s go. Chubby over here isn’t worth our time,” Jeno called loudly, voice filled with authority that had Jaemin immediately moving away from the girl.

“Fine. But she owes us free meals for a week! Those clothes were expensive!” Jaemin whined.

He kissed his girlfriend's cheek and walked to the door to wait on the rest of the gang who were stuffing their last few fries in their mouths or finishing off their milkshakes.

“Let’s roll,” Jaemin called, a grin on his face.

Jeno shook his head at how fast the male changed perspectives. He grabbed his leather jacket off the back of his chair, sliding his arms into it and let it snap against his back.

The last few members finished their plates, leaving them on the table before grabbing their own jackets and following Jaemin out the door. Jeno took the end, stopping by the waitress on the floor.

“Maybe get some heels your fat feet can walk in, huh Dollface?” he sneered.

Her face flew red again and he rolled his eyes.

“And you should stop blushing. You look like a tomato. Vegetables aren’t attractive. Although it’s fitting. Tomatoes are plump.”

He walked out the door without another word, heart hammering painfully in his ears. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but that was a problem. He couldn’t think chubby girls were beautiful. What would his friends think?

The loud purr of an engine met his ears and he sighed happily, most of his regret getting washed away, uprooted by the smell of motor oil and tires.

Jeno’s ride was a cherry red 1960 Harley-Davidson motorcycle with shiny silver wheels that didn’t match the rusted gas tank or muffler that Jeno was now saving to restore among other things. The black leather seat was slightly cracked from wear over the years and the breaks didn’t always work great. His headlight needed a new spark plug and the oil line leaked. Still, with all of these issues, he loved his bike. Each new issue gave him something to work on at night in his father's tiny little garage when all he wanted was grease on his chest and a wrench in his hand.

“Let’s go Jeno! I wanna ride!” Donghyuck moaned from his spot on his own bike, revving the engine with his right hand.

Jeno rolled his eyes at Donghyuck’s whining. Out of all of them, he was the one that loved traveling the most. They’d gone all the way up the coast the day they’d let Donghyuck lead them.

Jeno nodded and threw his leg over his bike, kicking the kick start lever and sighing happily as the bike roared to life beneath him. He pushed off his kickstand and allowed it to roll forward.

“Let’s go!” he called.

He rolled to the front of the group before revving the engine and turning onto the main road leaving the beachside snack shack behind.

~

When Jeno pulled into the driveway of his house, he parked his motorcycle beside his elder brother's black and gold Harley, letting the kickstand rest against the dirt driveway and dismounted..

He made his way into the house where his older brother, Jaehyun, was sitting alone in the living room flipping through channels.

Jeno’s heart hurt. All through the ride, he thought about (y/n) and the pained look in her eyes every time someone teased her. He knew it wasn’t right to bully her, especially for something as shallow as her weight or her clothes, but when the girls Jeno dated began mocking her, Jeno joined in, and pretty soon, she was alone. It hurt that Jeno could have stopped it. He could have kept her as a friend instead of ditching her, and now, here he was, hopelessly in love with the girl he bullied and too afraid to stand up to his friends out of fear that they would dump him.

“I have a problem,” he groaned, flopping down on the couch.

Jaehyun turned the small box television off and turned his attention to Jeno. Jeno rolled his head back on the plush green sofa and sighed.

“There’s this girl I like…” he started.

Jaehyun groaned in disinterest.

“So tell her. Not like you can’t get any girl. I heard you’re one of the kings of your class,” he replied.

Jeno whined. It was true. He could virtually have anyone he wanted, yet the one person he couldn’t have was the one he desired.

“I can’t. My friends wouldn’t approve and she’d never go for me… not after everything I’ve done,” he muttered hopelessly.

“Why do you care so much what your punk friends think? Do what you want, not what they want you to do.”

Jeno sighed. It wasn’t that easy and Jaehyun should know that.

“She’d never go out with me anyway and I can never tell her!” Jeno whined, hoping his brother would understand.

He was far too ashamed to come out and say exactly why she wouldn’t. “There’s girls that don’t like you?” Jaehyun asked, clearly shocked.

Jeno nodded sullenly.

“Just one…”

That seemed to make the links click in Jaehyun’s mind and Jeno wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“You don’t mean you like the poor girl you always bully, do you?”

So Jaehyun knew about that. No wonder his brother had grown distant since Jeno had started high school.

“Um… yes…” he mumbled.

Jaehyun shuffled around on the beige chair he was sitting on before one of his dirty socks was being chucked at Jeno’s head.

“Hey!” Jeno snapped.

“You don’t treat people like that! You and your friends are assholes! That poor girl won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to her!” Jaehyun yelled.

Jeno wanted to yell back, but he knew Jaehyun was right. He was an asshole.

“What do I do to get her to like me… I don’t know how to stop this mess…” he mumbled. Jaehyun groaned and grabbed the large remote, flipping the television back on.

“You make things right. Stop bullying the girl and apologize like you mean it. Even then, it may be too late,” Jaehyun answered before his attention was back into the heavy box television.

Jeno sighed. He knew his brother was right.

~

The next afternoon, Jeno pulled his motorcycle into the parking lot of the snack shack, parking alongside Jisungs rusting brown one he refused to let Jaemin or Jeno strip and repaint.

Jeno dismounted and walked into the shack. His friends were crowded around their usual table, talking loudly.

Jeno walked over to the table and slid into the booth beside Renjun.

“What’d I miss?” he asked.

Jaemin was cackling and fishing ice out of his soda glass.

“(y/n) is on our table today!” he smirked.

Jeno’s heart dropped. That meant they’d be extra cruel to her today and Jeno really couldn’t do anything to tell her or his friends how he felt. The universe must really hate him.

Jaemin got the ice out of his cola glass and held it in his palm, his faze shifting to where (y/n) was shuffling around in her red striped shirt and black pants, wearing those same yellow heels.

“What are you gonna-”

Jeno was cut off as Jaemin smirked and launched the ice cube across the table, getting enough air to fly across the room until it dived down into the low cut v-line of (y/n)’s striped shirt.

“Yes! 10 points!” Jaemin cheered loudly.

(y/n) squeaked at the sudden intrusion of ice, a sound that Jeno found oddly adorable, even if it wasn’t a good kind of squeak.

Her face flamed red and she hurried back to put her notepad down on the chef’s counter before moving back to their table.

“Can I get you guys anything else?” she asked, her voice having gone up an octave from embarrassment.

“I want a chocolate milkshake,” Renjun answered.

(y/n) jotted it down and moved to look at the rest.

“I want a burger that’s charred on one side, but not too charred. Don’t bring me burnt meat or I’ll make your fatass eat it,” Jaemin said.

Jeno sighed at his friend, shaking his head subtly.

“I want a burger with a dollop of ketchup and three pickles. Don’t you dare give me any more or less than three pickles,” Donghyuck ordered.

Jeno rolled his eyes. Donghyuck didn’t even like pickles.

She glanced at Jisung and Chenle, both who were contently sipping their cola’s and completely ignoring her existence, so, after scribbling down everyone else’s orders, she turned her eyes to Jeno.

“Coke with ten pieces of ice and a burger.”

(y/n) nodded, writing all of the information down and shuffled off to the counter again.

“Do we really have to be that mean to her? She looked like she was going to cry,” Renjun muttered.

Jaemin rolled his eyes.

Jeno nodded in agreement to Renjun. Her face was sullen and her eyes glistened with tears that hadn’t fallen. His heart sank at the thought that maybe something had happened at home or that their words had finally gotten to her. In all the time they’d been bullying her, she never once said anything much to them, and they’d never seen her cry.

“Do you think we should lay off her?” he suggested.

Donghyuck and Jaemin snorted at the same time.

“Why would we do that?” Donghyuck asked.

Jeno shook his head. His friends could be such assholes sometimes. They wouldn’t even stop for someone that seems to be almost crying, they just use it to play more games. More buttons to press.

“If you’re so worried, Jeno, go check on her,” Chenle challenged.

“Yeah, go check on her!” Jaemin cackled.

Jeno shook his head and sighed, getting out of the booth. He knew very well what they expected him to do, or at least, what they wanted him to do, but he didn’t know if he could take calling her names anymore. Not when it felt like his soul was screaming at him not to.

He didn’t have much of a choice as he made his way over to her, however. He couldn’t control what his friends wanted and what he was obligated to give.

He moved up behind her and while her back was turned, he brought his hand down hard on her butt as his friends cackled loudly from their table. Jeno’s ears burned in embarrassment and guilt. If his mother knew what he’d just done, she’d be dragging him out of the snack shack by his ear.

He didn’t really know what to expect from (y/n). What he didn’t expect however, was her body whirling around rapidly, her hand raising angrily, and the sharp stinging sensation across his cheek.

“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU, AND YET ALL YOU ARE YOUR ASSHOLE BUDDIES WANNA DO IS BULLY ME! WELL PISS OFF! I DON’T NEED THIS!” she screamed.

Jeno’s eyes widened. This was new…

“YOU ARE A BUNCH OF PUNKASS BOYS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO, BUT I SWEAR THE NEXT TIME I HEAR A COMMENT ABOUT MY WEIGHT, CLOTHES, OR HAIR, OR ANYONE TOUCHEs ME, I WILL SHOVE MY FAT FOOT UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!” she screamed angrily.

The cackling from the table had stopped as the boys gaped at their waitress in shock.

“AND YOU IDIOTS CAN GET YOUR OWN DAMN BURGERS!”

The snack shack had gone deathly quiet. Jeno stood as still as a statue, face still stinging, but not quite as painful now. The outburst from this usually quiet and reserved girl shocked him to his very core, but it also made him feel worse. Sure, the ice throwing, name calling, and excessively stupid orders had added fuel to the fire, but it was Jeno’s action that had thrown her over the edge.

“I-I’m… sorry…” he stammered out.

“DON’T SAY SORRY TO ME AFTER THE HELL YOU’VE PUT ME THROUGH!” she screamed.

Jeno’s heart pounded in his chest and his eyes gazed at her fearfully.

“I think it’s time you go home, (y/n), calm down and come back tomorrow,” the owner of the snack shack said, walking out of his office.

(y/n) nodded and let out a sniffle. Jeno didn’t know when she’d started crying. She grabbed the bag the owner handed her before running out of the shack.

“And you, young man. You and your boys get out of my shack. You’re all banned for a week. Come back in here acting like that and you’ll be banned permanently,” he said, eyes fixed angrily on Jeno.

Jeno turned to look back at his gang and sighed, waving a hand for them all to follow.

~

After the incident, Jeno hadn’t felt much like going on a ride with the rest of the gang. They were all perfectly fine, cackling and talking about the outburst, but Jeno couldn’t stomach it. The way she’d screamed. How upset she’d looked. He was done being a bully. Now he just needed to figure out how to go from bully to courting her, if that were even possible.

He parked his bike beside Jaehyun’s again, happy to see his brother was home and not at the rusty body shop he worked at.

He ran into the house, taking the front steps two at a time, and when he was inside, he made his way to the room he shared with Jaehyun.

“I need to borrow your boombox!” he yelled at the male.

Jaehyun, clearly not expecting the sudden intrusion, jumped off the small bed, stuffing the adult rated magazine he’d been “reading” under his mattress. Jeno rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time to find ways to ruin Jaehyun’s relationship with his girlfriend or rat him out to their mother.

“I. need. Your. boom. Box!” he enunciated.

Jaehyun stared at him incredulously.

“Uh… Why?” he asked.

Jeno shook his head angrily and shoved past Jaehyun to siffle through his side of the room searching for the large, heavy, cassette playing boombox his brother had bought a month ago.

“I need it to fix my (y/n) situation!” Jeno explained as he searched.

Jaehyun groaned.

“Movies aren’t real! That won’t work!”

Jeno ignored him. The guy always showed up at the window of the girl he was hoping to impress and the girl always forgave him. It’d work. It had to.

Jeno grabbed the large boombox from beneath Jaehyun’s bed, groaning at the weight. He heard Jaehyun sigh.

“Good luck then.”

Jeno didn’t need it. This would work. It had to work.

~

The ride to (y/n)’s house had proven to be a bit difficult as he struggled to hold the boombox against him. The box was large and heavy, with a small cassette player at the top that already had his chosen tape resting inside it.

The trip over was one of many stops and repositionings in an attempt not to drop the box that could very well make everything alright. He could just imagine her grinning in glee and running down to meet him, forgiving him for everything he’d ever done to hurt her.

By the time he got to her house, dusk was falling. He had maybe ten minutes before darkness engulfed the sky. Ten minutes in which he’d be tasked with making everything better.

He moved around the side of the common two story house and found (y/n)’s window easily. She appeared to be dancing to the music playing from the vinyl record player he could almost see perched by the window. It brought a smile to his lips. She looked so happy and carefree.

He could watch her all night, but he was here for a reason. He had to apologize for everything he’d ever done and confess.

He found a rock likely from her driveway by her window in the grass and picked it up. It was only one so he had to make it count.

He pressed play on the cassette player portion of the boombox and ‘It’s sad to belong’ came flowing out melodically from the speakers.

”Met you on a springtime day,”

He threw the rock hard against her window, flinching as he heard the rock bounce off. He was surprised it hadn’t broken the window.

”You were mindin’ your life and I was mindin’ mine too. The window opened and Jeno’s heart hammered in his chest.

“(y/f/n) (y/l/n)! I am so in love with you it hurts. I am so sorry for everything I’ve ever done to hurt you! All the bullying. All the teasing. I’m so sorry. You’re not fat or ugly! You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen! I just couldn’t show it! But I don’t care what my friends think! I love you! I want to be with you! I want to court you! Please forgive me!” he pleaded, not giving the girl a chance to say anything.

When he finished speaking, the song was nearing an end and his body was shaking. The girl looked almost close to tears again and Jeno grew hopeful that in any second, she’d run downstairs and jump into his arms.

“Yes it’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.”

“You love me huh? Well you have a funny way of showing it,” she sneered.

The window slammed shut and the drapes were immediately dropped, leaving Jeno alone in the darkness of the evening, his hopes dashed across the grass.

He’d waited too long to apologize.