Tumgik
#i hurt myself in my confusion
pharawee · 7 months
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I had this delicious horrible thought last night while giffing PromNont. I'm pretty sure the show won't go there because there's only one episode left...
...but wouldn't it be so devastating if at the very end it turned out that Nant is alive and safe after all, and it's Nont who in his desperate and self-destructive search for him ends up dead. 🤡
But also I'm surprised that my Nont is Nant crack theory still holds up pretty well too.
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sunnysatyr · 2 days
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I'm at reception desk today in the office, and since it's a Tuesday there's barely any work to do.
Because bosses rarely come here to check on us, I'm also free to work on my latest translation project using remote desktop.
The thing is... is it still procrastination if I avoid one job by doing the other and vice-versa, which is what I've been doing for two hours already? Is it twocrastination? What?
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yeehawpim · 1 year
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Okay I know the letter Karna left in Deli's tent made me feel some closure but as soon as Aabria started describing it I was like. But what if. What if Deli didn't go back to his tent. What if he just left with the clothes on his back because he wanted nothing to do with the mistakes he made.
What if her letter is one of those letters you find sandwiched between the pages of a library book or fallen half-open in a public trash can, that you pick up and read and think, is this fiction? Is this a mistake? How could anyone leave their heart out to be seen by a stranger, where is the person who's meant to cradle it?
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ptanalo · 2 months
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"the mission is over, silly child"
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phantom-z0ne · 8 months
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"Billy wasn't sure what the creature ransacking his train car was.” Alternatively, Billy feeds a stray and ends up with a roommate.
WC: 1215
Serendipity (n): the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
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Billy wasn't sure what the creature ransacking his train car was. Granted, the train car wasn't in the most hidden place ever, but he had made sure to ward it against most creatures. The ward would have made one unable to see the train, and if they somehow saw it anyways, they would have been turned around. He usually was pinged if anything passed his wards, which was why he was so blindsided to see something moving around in his train car. It seemed that this one had slipped through his protections. 
The creature was strange and almost hard to look at directly. Its blinding white hair moved independent from the wind and twined around its long, pointed, mint colored ears. It was also small, small enough that Billy thought it could comfortably fit into his cupped hands, and wearing some sort of skin tight suit, black with a stripe of silver along its torso. Or what appeared to be its torso, Billy couldn't really tell when its lower body faded into a long tail.
From his perspective, it seemed to be rummaging through where he usually hides his food, showing slivers of its white paws. Did it pass through the barriers he set because it was hungry? 
Billy approached the creature quietly, making sure not to get too close, he wouldn't want to startle it. His efforts were in vain though as the creature snapped its head towards him. It's glowing eyes like headlights, as if staring into Billy’s soul. The green in its eyes swirling hypnotically as the creature bristled at his presence. 
Billy watched, amused but vigilant, as the creature puffed up like a cat. Even going so far as to swat a couple times in his direction. So far, it was quite harmless, but the buzzing in the back of his head that he usually equated to Solomon told him to be careful.
Billy slowly dropped to his knees, mindful of the creature's reaction, and shifted his bag to his front. He shuffled through his bag and brought out the small piece of jerky he was saving for later, sliding it slowly towards the creature.
The creature tilted its head, staring at the jerky suspiciously before taking a few steps to paw at it. It apparently passed its test as it devoured the jerky surprisingly fast for its small size. While it seemed to be starving, thankfully it didn't reflect onto its body. It wasn't gaunt or thin, but actually quite plump. Perhaps it just didn't eat for a day or two? 
Billy took a small step forward, then a few more when he realized the creature was focused on eating. “So,” He began softly, the creature startling as if it was just realizing he was so close. “What are you doing here, little guy?”
It stared at him silently before once again tilting its head. It was cute, Billy realized. The chubby cheeks and button nose paired with big, shiny eyes made it endearing to look at. His expression melted slightly as he took a closer look at the creature.
The creature's ear flicked as it padded up to him, paws on Billy’s knees. It let out an unintelligible sound, layered and harsh to Billy's ear, yet somehow melodious. Billy blinked, not expecting that noise. The creature looked at him almost expectantly, eyes shining brightly.
Billy hesitantly brought his knuckles closer to the creature, feeling its cold nose as it sniffed him. It was clearly unimpressed and trilled for more food. Billy chuckled under his breath as he brought another piece of jerky to the needy creature. It gobbled it up swiftly, looking up at him and once again begging for more, its eyes almost sparkling.
Billy folded under the cuteness overload and retrieved a sandwich from his bag, splitting it in half. He was worried that it would eat more than it could handle if he kept feeding it. He knew very well what that felt like.
The creature blinked at him, once, twice, before giving him a small, pleasant trill and headbutted his fingers. Billy cautiously set his hand over its silky hair? Fur? All he knew was that it felt divine, though not in the godly way. 
“What are you?” Billy asked as he wove his fingers through its hair, genuinely curious on what species the creature was. He had inputted a lot of creatures in his ward but he had no clue what this one was. The tingling at the back of his head spoke otherwise, Solomon knowing very well what it was. He could transform and ask Solomon, since he couldn't really speak to him unless he was Captain Marvel, but that would just scare the creature.
It gave him a look before resuming its lunch, finishing it in record time. Apparently, it deigned him worthy of its presence on his lap as it kneaded his legs then curled up onto them. The purring surprised him, pausing when the creature gave him an impatient look when he halted his ministrations on its hair.
He resumed, of course. Why wouldn't he? It was a nice reprieve from fighting villains as Captain Marvel and watching out for himself when he was on the streets. It was just a quiet moment between him and the strange creature that broke into his home. 
…He hadn't realized how lonely he was before this. 
He had friends, of course. Freddy, Tawky Tawny, and the Justice League. But… this just wasn't the same. As good as a friend Freddy was, he doubted that he would be willing to just sit and enjoy each other's company silently. Freddy was a huge superhero fan and couldn't help but talk about them in excitement. Not to mention his analyses on Billy’s techniques as Captain Marvel.
The Justice League wasn't any better. They had a professional relationship, thinking of him more as a coworker than a friend. The times he tried to deepen their friendship by inviting them out, he was unfortunately turned down. It seemed that they got along better when they were in battle than not.
Billy usually went to Tawky Tawny for advice, but Tawky Tawny never turned down the opportunity to just spend time in the other’s company. Unfortunately, those times were far and few between, usually because Tawky Tawny was traveling or busy with something else. 
With this creature— he’d have to name it eventually, Billy thought absently—all that was expected of him was companionship, nothing more.
Billy felt a cool paw pat his face, the creature looking up at him concerned. His eyes widened before he let out a huff, ruffling its hair. The creature let out a disgruntled chuff and phased through his hands then batted at them, settling down once more on his lap once it was done. 
It hadn't been with him long, all he had done was give it some food, and it was already trying to comfort him. Admittedly, it wasn't the best comfort, it stopped once he focused on it, but it wasn't something he expected from a creature he met not an hour ago.
Billy smiled, eyes soft. Perhaps it could stay, if only for a while.
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Whipped this up in a couple hours while trying to get out of my funk 
Thanks for reading!!
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Ao3
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the-bi-space-ace · 3 months
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I’m gonna be honest with y’all. I try my best but I do not understand half of Star Wars. I’m Din Djarin in this fandom. I don’t understand the storyline, I have no idea what anyone is talking about, I don’t want to be in charge, I got a cool outfit and I have a car let’s ride.
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ancha-aus · 4 months
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RealAgeAU drabble - Moving
Hello I am back and I got another idea for this little silly au that I have @spotaus to thank for for the original idea :3 Though I think this may be officially becoming one of my AUs hahahaha
First part Prev Part Next part
Also yes. I know it would work better to number these uploads but also i am not writing these in any set order so it will become miserable for all of us if i number them because either they will be out of order or I will have to rework all the names and I am already editing links I don't need that extra energy in my life.
ANYWAY! :D
Next part! The one I lovingly clal in my head - The one where the gang finds a more permanent temporary home. (also yes. Before this they all speed-run the whole Parental bonding and emotional bonding to the idea of having a babybones. Which honestly can and probably will make four different drabbles)
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Horror stares at the door and wonders once again how he got to this point.
Well, no. That is a lie. He knows exactly how he got to his point.
He glances over his shoulder where the other four at hiding off to the side. Out of view from the doorway but still visable for Horror if he looks just right. Seems like Dust won the discussion, again, and is holding Nightmare, again.
Horror wants to say it is surprising how quickly they all just... accepted the situation they got into but he really isn't. Monsters are weird like that. Forced adoption is not that wild all things considered when you are talking about beings made of magic and emotions.
Horror stares at the door and raises his hand before knocking twice.
He really hadn't wanted to do this but they have no other choice. As he waits he can't help but think back to what made them decide this.
Cross walks from side to side "That was way to close! That was the third time we came across the Stars with Nightmare out. Third!"
Killer nods from where he is sitting wiht the sleeping Nightmare in his lap "Yeah no kidding. It is annoying as shit that they are hunting us."
Dust shrugs "Not surprising. Nightmare 'disappeared' after all. We are their only lead."
Killer grins "We were lucky Cross managed to lie his way out of the last one." and he shoots Cross a wink.
Cross sputters "I panicked!"
Killer grins and winks "Sure sure daddy crossy."
Horror holds up his hands between his two... co-parents "This is not the time. We need to figure out where we can go." and he thinks things over.
Cross sighs "I don't get how they keep finding us!"
Dust huffs as he packs their bags "We go to too little universes. Makes it easy for Ink and Dream to pick us out because they recognise us personally."
Killer frowns "Meaning. we need a big universe?" he taps his chin "But also mostly positive as we still don't know how obvious Nightmare would be otherwise."
Cross frowns "I think it will be fine. He can't feel the balance anymore right? And no one seems to have a reaction to him like they had before nor how people have a reaction to Dream's aura thing. Maybe with the corruption gone he really is just... ex-guardian now?"
Killer groans "I hope so. I am not a fan of child labor."
That is when it hits him. Horror sits up "I think I know a place."
All of them turn to him and he immediantly regrets saying anything. See? This is why he normally tries to limit what he says.
Either way. Here they are now and Horror prays this works. Please. They need one thing to work in their favor.
The door opens and a gasp "Horror! It has been ages! It is great to see you. How have you been?" Crop smiles at him.
Horror steels his nerves. Come on. Too much hangs on this moment "Hey Crop. Nice to see you. I am... okay. How are you?"
Crop frowns at him instantly "You sure? You don't sound okay. Trouble at home?"
Horror chuckles "Kinda? Not exactly. Euh... Can't go back to that place now?"
Crop frowns "Why? Need a place to stay? I got a spare room."
Okay yes! this is going great! just... gotta make sure he knows.
Horror nods "I do need a room. Not just for me though..." Crop starts to frown and Horror raises his hands "Just temporarily!"
Crop frowns "Did... something go wrong?"
Horror pauses and thinks this through once more. He trusts Crop. Crop has never been anything but kind even when Horror had been an ass. Even when he had to once drag Dust here to get healing before they could make the jump back home.
Horror looks to the side and he sees the others just beyond the treeline, hidden in shadows and waiting. Crop takes a look as well but he can't quite spot them. Crop looks back up at him.
Horror takes a deep breath "You need... to promise me, no not just promise you need to swear. That what you are about to learn will not leave this universe."
Crop frowns as he immediantly looks uncomfortable. It is the reaction a promise gets from most of them. But Crop also shoots him a considering look before he nods. He holds out a hand "I swear and promise I will not share the about to be giving information. UNLESS! It endangers anyone." and he waits.
Horror stares at the hand and thinks. That... That is fine right? That should be fine. Nightmare being a child doesn't endanger anyone. Only them and Nightmare. Horror nods and shakes the hand.
Crop nods and steps aside "Come inside. I bet you will be more comfortable explaining there." he glances at the forest "Do your... friends? Want to come in too?" a guess clearly. probably on multiple fronts.
Horror shakes his skull "Not yet. Need to know your answer and reaction first." He turns to the forest and makes a signal to wait a bit longer. He sees a thumbs up shot his way back. Probably Killer. He never bothered with the signals they had learned together.
Crop nods as he steps aside and Horror walks in, having to duck slightly for the door. The door closes behind him and Horror sees the small living room with fireplace.
Crop leads him to the kitchen "Lets talk there. I will get some tea."
A few minutes later they are both seated and with a cup of tea. Crop looks at him expectingly.
Horror takes a deep breath and takes out their most valuable resourch. The Dreamtale book. And places it on the table. Crop frowns at it before looking at Horror.
Horror nods to it "It will help explain... Very long story short... Nightmare was never an adult. He was a child with a magical shield of some type. That magic has ran out."
Crop stares at him for a moment, then he pulls the book closer and starts reading it. He pauses at the title before opening it.
And now he waits.
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Crop sits wiht his skull in his hands. Horror just sits across from him, with his empty cup of tea. Crop's own cup has grown cold a long time ago. Horror just waits for anymore questions but Crop hasn't said anyhting in the last ten minutes.
Horror looks back at the book and sees that Crop has turned the pages back to the one with the drawing of Nightmare's head being cracked open. The image makes a very clear show on how small Nightmare was compared to the ones attacking him.
Horror still thinks the book doesn't do it justice. Nightmare is much smaller in person than the picture makes him seem. The cracks had been much worse than the picture showed. But it is the closest they got.
Crop finally sighs and speaks. He doesn't look away from the picture "I don't... Know a lot about this whole... multiverse stuff. It isn't my place at all. And that is fine." he pauses for a moment "But this... You are telling me... That the one being that had everyone afraid. That everyone saw as a demon. Is a child... is this child?"
Horror nods before he explains more "Nightmare... gained a lot of magic and powers when he ate those apples. At least that is what the story implied. We haven't managed to get him to tell us yet, mostly because well... he is six again." Crops pulls a face as well, yeah. Horror agrees. A PTSD filled six year old is not easy. But they are managing.
Horror nods "so... What Cross nad Dust think what happened is that... The magic and negativity of the apples bond itself to Nightmare. Which game him the magic and powers he would use. The connection to the balance because the apples were part of the balance. and more importantly, an adult form and mind to fit all the magic. There was just no way all that magic and energy would have fit a babybones. Especially one that hadn't shown much magic beforehand." an assumption on their end as Nightmare was never said to use magic in the book.
"We think... We think that this magic of the apples just. ran out. We had been in battle at the time and Nightmare had been hit but it shouldn't have had that much of an effect. it was the same type of attack he had been hit by before. Dust thinks it was just the last bit of magic that the apples had having run out. Meaning that with the magic and energy so went the form." all a theory of course. But it is the only thing they have.
Crop nods as he clearly thinks "And as he was suddenly an adult. instead of just being afraid and scared. all that pain and emotions took a more violent turn. As he was an adult and was suddenly able to realise that it was unfair which made him angry..." Crop pauses.
Crop glares back at the table and shakes his skull "It is... It is a whole story about victim blaming. A victim is blamed for the abuse they suffered. They are made to believe they deserve it and should be abused. Then as soon as they fight back and defend themselves they are seen as guilty." Crop takes adeep breath as he leans back "What I don't get... Why come here? I can't help with any of this."
Horror shakes his skull "This isn't about any of the big stuff. We don't even care about it. We just... Nightmare is himself again. His real self." he taps the page lightly "Not his aged-up self that the corruption enabled him to be."
Crop stares before his face changes to shock "You are trying to hide him." Then a frown "Why not go to your own home? Has it been compromised?"
Horror snorts "At this point? probably." a confused look and Horror continues "Nightmare used his magic to shield off an universe and make a castle." he shrugs at the glance "Nightmare likes to read. I imagine he liked to read back then too. He may have been an adult technically but he was still a child at soul. Child him wanted a home and wanted that to be a castle and adult him made it happen... probably... that is Killer's theory at the moment."
Crop laughs and nods "Suonds reasonable- oh... and with his magic disappearing."
Horror sighs "When I left his universe the castle had already been decaying..."
Crop frowns "Left? The five of you you mean?"
Horror looks to the side and feels the shame return "We.... we did not react well... when we saw the changes at first... we... we obviously dind't know what was going on and well." he looks down "We abandoned him. I know it was wrong and stupid and we all regret it. We came back but we still did it." shame.
shame shame shame shame shame shame shame-
A hand on his shoulder. Horror glances up and Crop smiles at him "It is okay. You are trying to fix it now right? obviously. Not cool that you abandoned a child... but it can be nerve wrecking. Suddenly going from a position where a person is mostly guiding you, to going to a position where you suddenly are responsible over that same person."
Horror looks to the side "We still left." he can't believe they just left!
Crop nods "But you returned." he grins "And you are trying to fix it."
Horror nods again "We are..." he chuckles "Not that we have been doing a good job at it. Jumping from place to place."
Crop hums "So you are looking to settle, at least for a little bit, while also hidding. Why this universe?"
Horror nods "Yeah..." He looks to the side "We... we don't know how everyone will react. To him being like this. Maybe they will react well. Maybe not. We don't want to risk it. Risk him."
Crop stares at him for a long time and nods "There must be better places?"
Horror shakes his skull "The Stars kept finding us. Dust figured out we needed a big universe that leans towards positive. Yours is one of those. It is one of the wider and bigger ones. And overall leaning towards positive."
Crop frowns "It can't be the best one..."
Horror shrugs but continues "True... there are bigger and more positive ones. But those are busy. Many people. many places. Yours is quieter. more empty. Gives peace and room to work from."
Crop frowns as he taps his chin. He thinks deeply before sighing "You guys got any type of backstory we can use? The multiverse thing isn't a known thing here and the only reason my brother and I know is because you crash landed here."
Horror blinks "You will let us stay?"
Crop nods "Sure." and he grins "Can't kick out four parents with a babybones." and he gets up.
Horrro shakes his skull "That isn't... Well I mean technically." He knows that Killer has come close to killing quite a few people with how protective he has grown over Nightmare and that isn't even including the motherhenning of Cross nor the clinginess that Dust has.
Crop chuckles as he nods towards the stairs "The attic is messy and should be cleaned but can be used by you four, well five. There is an old bed and an old lounge chair up there." more thoughtful "How big is he exactly? we will need some clothes. Probably also get a healer to check him if he is developing okay after all those magical shenanigans."
Horror stares for a moment before smiling "Thank you... I know it is a lot."
Crop shrugs as he opens the linnen closet "Horror. Taking care of milking all the cows on your own is a lot. Having to fix your roof in the middle of a thunderstorm is a lot." He straightens his spine with blankets in his arms "Helping a friend and his friends who have somehow aqcuired a babybones, while strange, does not compare to either of those. Now get your friends out of those woods. They will make the animals nervous." he grins "I am excited to be one of the first ones to meet the real Nightmare."
Horror smiles as he packs his book and goes towards the door. "Thanks again Crop."
Crop waves it off as he moves the piles upstairs.
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Boom! and they are staying in FarmTale for now! Horror and Crop are homies and Dust is more of an acquaintance of Crop but it works. Aged-up Nightmare knew that Horror had an universe he liked to visit but never demanded details. *shrugs* Nightmare didn't see the point. as long as horror wasn't going to betray him what did it matter he didn't tell him?
Surprise Nightmare, this is your temporary home now. For a bit. or maybe longer? They are still figuring it out.
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godhurts · 3 months
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Yo so I'm confused
How do I tell if I'm poly and a little bit in love with all of my close friends or if I'm aromantic and just love everyone platonically
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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i cant fully control my emotions during a breakdown and then i come out of it and im like oh fuck........ ._.
#bpd#like i dont mean to hurt anyone else with having my breakdown on my vent blog on tumblr...#like the stuff i say isnt aimed at anyone in particular#and it's abt MY feelings which are so confusing i get a headache#my thoughts is my enemy and im such a broken and confused little girl inside fr T-T#but like yeah im sorry for upsetting ppl???#but really i feel so suffocated bc im constantly terrified of saying smth that will upset this or that person#or reblogging the wrong thing and making someone im attached to hate me#like idk.... genuinely my blog is supposed to be a vessel? a tool? smth for me to be able to put my emotions and thoughts down#and try to make sense of them. even when i cant. it really only concerns me. i dont mean to attack or hurt anyone else :/#but i mean i really shouldnt and i shouldve learned this lesson so long ago....#being confused and broken and mentally ill and not knowing or understanding things and being messy and#saying the wrong things or phrasing it incorrectly or anything like that#or like sometimes i have one thought tied to a certain emotion but it's only there in that moment#like when i feel so lonely i could die.. yes i do have kidnapping fantasies. bc i dont.: whatever i dont owe anyone a psychoanalys of mysel#but that doesnt mean i want want to be kidnapped by a stranger who doesnt care abt me... i know that would be awful and traumatizing and no#what i *want*. bc what i desire is love#but like i feel so much pain and just venting abt it or reblogging a post helps me solidify my overwhelming emotions#idk what to say like..... ☹️☹️☹️☹️#i cant even fucking blog or do tumblr right im worthless. and yeah i know i have a victim complex.. sorry 🥲#hmmm. yeah idk what to say like when i have breakdowns i have to get myself thru them without any support#and i dont mean that to attack anyone else.: we're all alone i know.#but idk how to deal w it so i just type it out. its not to attack anyone else its to try to make sense of my emptions i dont understand ☹️#anyway.. maybe i should just accept that im too fucked up and too contradictory for anyone to actually like me#there will always be smth that will make everyone not like me anymore. thats that.#thank u for the time u do give me tho i always appreciate thay#and im sorry i really truly dont want to hurt anyone else#i just dont have .. idk it doesnt matter im sorry for what its worth and if anyone even reads this#i hope not bc i dont want anyone to perceive me and stuff like i dont wanna exist to anyone#and im not on tumblr or post stuff for attention. im just in pain and have nowehrre to put it. im sorry if im lashinf out and hurting other
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emelinstriker · 7 months
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mmmnnother idea too
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cheeseknives · 2 months
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Didn't know until now that ao3 shows you how many times you have viewed each fic if you go look at your history, had like a scroll of shame
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Despite utterly failing to write my usual anthology of fics for @jonmartinweek this year, I couldn't let the event pass without submitting anything, so here's a collection of poetry! There's two poems for each season and one epilogue, chronicling Martin's feelings towards Jon over the years. Here's the first one, for a taste of how truly bad these poems are:
First Impressions (by Mr. Blackwood)
You sit in your office All fussy and proper Like a cat upon a wall Then I blunder in With tea cup and tail wag And you make me feel so small
Big dogs make big messes Despite best intentions Cats cling when they could let go With fur all a bristle You hiss your chastisement Overeager, clumsy, slow
When eyes cruel as your claws Catch me just to scratch me Everyone sees what is wrong Cats sit on high perches Dogs wait below begging And they'll never get along
(Read the rest on Ao3)
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umunschaas · 3 months
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Oh wow, writing that is very fluffy, cheesy almost ...wait... what is thaANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST
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bilestat · 3 months
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insane how quickly something small can tank my mood
#i am so tired of being cut off when i’m talking#esp when someone doesn’t even care enough to realize i was over halfway through a sentence#and doesn’t ask what i was saying#or when they just make it incredibly obvious they weren’t paying attention or outright don’t care what i’m talking about#even when i’m talking super excitedly#it makes me feel so fucking small and unimportant#like yeah i guess the shit i say doesn’t matter 99% of the time but it matters to ME#but it hurts so bad when i get cut off only for someone else to say stuff entirely unrelated#and to then just like. stream of consciousness ramble every thought that enters their head#like okay. cool. awesome. alright#my mom does that all the time i’ll be telling her something and then i’ll get cut off or she’ll wait til i’m done#to out of nowhere start telling me super in depth life histories of people she hasn’t seen since she was a child. or people i don’t know.#and it’ll always be so in depth about so many people idk OR so fucking vague i get confused as hell#in the typical boomer just needs to talk at someone or hear their own voice way (sorry ily mom)#and i know i can go on for ages about fandom shit that confuses her or she doesn’t know about but#idk. i do not have much else in my life right now. and i only have her and my sibling and very very few friends that aren’t online#and even irl friends i only see a couple times a year each if i’m lucky#i just hate my life lol and i need to stop before i spiral#i have already gone on long enough and will be embarrassed when i come back to delete this because honestly who gives a shit#i need to get over myself#to be deleted#personal
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cookiepwee · 4 months
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yeag so i had a breakdown and completely isolated myself yesterday lmao
idk what to do really i just need to share that i'm sad and i'm sorry
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trudemaethien · 11 months
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kix/slick + example
✨💖✨pillowtalk✨💖✨
(immediately pre-christophsis UwU)
“Do you ever think…” Slick’s murmur comes from inches away, on the same pillow as his bedmate’s ear.
“Hmm?” Kix hums drowsily, moving his hand to reassure Slick he’s listening. He thinks he’s touching his side, or his hip maybe. It’s too late at night for anatomy.
“D’y’think it’s wrong that we have to fight?” is the surprising query from Slick’s busy brain.
“Slick, you love fighting.” Kix’s voice is as dry as Geonosian wind, disembodied in the dark bunkroom.
“Well, I mean. Yeah, but even I don’t want to always have to strap on my shell and pick up a blaster and shoot-move-communicate, you know? Maybe I want to… fight with words sometime.”
“Slick, you—
—Do that all the time too, anyway,” Slick choruses over top of him, “yeah, I know. But, Kix. You hear what I’m saying? If you could do anything or go anywhere, and wouldn’t get in trouble for it, what would you do?”
Kix sighs, chest rising and falling under Slick’s arm as he seriously considers the question.
“I’m a lifesaver,” he says finally. “As long as one single brother needed me to be on call listening for Medic! that’s what I’d choose. I believe it’s my responsibility to use my knowledge and skill for the good of my people; and my brothers, the GAR, are my people, thus by extension, the Republic itself.”
“But do you think that because you were taught that, or do you think it because you think it?”
Kix snorts, rolling half on top of his vod and making his response come muffled between them. “S’a little demeaning, sayin’ I don’t know my own thoughts from some lousy brainwashing, buddy,” he says, more amused than annoyed.
Slick’s arms come up and circle him, hands smoothing down his back and back up under his sleep shirt. He sighs gustily.
This concept must really be bothering him.
“What would you do?” Kix asks, encouraging.
Slick is silent for a long moment, but Kix senses it’s not because he doesn’t have an answer. He waits him out.
“On Triple Zero,” Slick says finally, and Kix makes a tiny go-on noise, “I saw this…bunch of protesters.”
He doesn’t say anything more, and Kix mulls that over. “So you want to …protest?”
“I want to fight for the things I believe in,” Slick says, almost embarrassed. “Same as you, our brothers are my people, and I just don’t think it’s right that we should be sent to seed the stars, that karking drivel, or have to be calling for a medic, if you can get there on time before we die for objectives we don’t even care about.”
Kix kisses his neck, his stubble-rough jaw, his cheek before Slick turns into it and meets his mouth.
Kix lifts his head and touches their brows together. “I’ll get to you before you die,” he swears with utmost confidence, even though it’s a foolhardy thing to promise. “Just call me, and I’ll be there.”
Slick’s throat clicks as he swallows a couple times before he can speak, and when he does, his voice is rough with emotion.
“If I need you, I’ll call.”
Pillowtalk 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51594214
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