#i just don’t get it like how does that not make u feel detached from ur body

[weed666]

need to get away from the ‘trans ppl with skinny anime characters as their icons that use skinny anime characters in all their trans memes and only reblog skinny anime art’ section of tumblr and find more of the ‘trans ppl who appreciate body diversity and art of trans ppl that actually looks like the trans ppl i know irl and not like a conventionally attractive model’ section. where r y’all at. pls for the love of god help me get me out of here i’m fighting for my fucking life where is the fat hairy transgender art i can’t take this anymore

[caelivir]

rayne ames relationship hcs (part ii)

— WARNING: creepy behavior from a guy but that’s it

— author’s note. i feel like the author’s note from when i posted this doesn’t apply anymore, but anyway, this is part two but isn’t actually because i lost the first part when i accidentally deleted my account… again im so sorry. ALSO!! the writing is a little different bc i’m cringing rereading my old stuff. (how did u guys let that slide)

— HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO @mikadzukis FOR SAVING MY OLD HCS I AM INDEBTED TO U!!!!

rayne ames loves dates with you. he loves them.

but he especially loves picnic dates

you introduced him to the idea on one of his days off

you promised it wasn’t going to be draining because you knew being a visionary is a taxing job

so he agreed

and he loved it

spread across the red and white checkered picnic blanket are plates of grapes, cheese, and sandwiches. two goblets of iced tea rest on top of a wooden board so they can remain balanced.

rayne’s large hands support his weight as he leans back onto the blanket. the half-blonde cranes his neck to stare up at the leaves. rays of sunlight peek through slivers of space between them. a butterfly flutters its wings above him.

“rayne!” you call for his attention.

your lover hums as a reply before directing his eyes toward you, offering his full attention.

“i made something for you.” you speak, grabbing for another basket on the blanket. you lift up the cover, reaching carefully inside it. you pull out a cake platter and set aside the lid that protected the dessert residing on it.

“it’s a cake!” you continue with a smile. “this is the first time you’ve been off in a while so i thought i could make a cake to celebrate! i even decorated it with some bunnies!”

a small grin grows on the visionary’s face. he pushes himself up. rayne takes the platter out of your hand and gently places it on a free board on the blanket. you’re caught in surprise as his arms wrap themselves around your waist. his head finds warmth in the crook of your neck.

“thank you.” he whispers.

rayne’s protective of you

he knows you’re capable of fighting your own battles, but there are certain situations where he just had to take care of it

if someone’s saying things about you or harassing you, he isn’t going to tolerate that

the entirety of easton knows not to mess with you, because messing with you means messing with rayne, and no one wants to put themselves through that

he’s already scary enough as is so all it takes is a couple of threats for the person to leave cowering in fear

you wait outside of the café as rayne uses the restroom. people of all ages each other as they navigate their ways theough marchétte street. one of them approaches you, but it’s not rayne.

“so what’s a fine thing like you doing alone here in the street.” a guy smirks, trailing his eyes up and down your body. you shift uncomfortably. he’s definitely a few years older than you and inches taller than rayne. a single line cuts through his right cheek, indicating his level of magic.

you swallow down an anxious gulp before speaking. “i’m with my boyfriend.”

“tell me gorgeous,” the man’s hand travels down the path of your jaw. you’re disgusted by his touch. “does your boyfriend like to share?”

“i really think you should go.” you respond firmly, shoving the grimy hand away from your face.

the guy chuckles, raising his hands in defense. “no need to get aggressive, sweetheart! i just want to know!”

“and who the hell are you?” a familiar deep voice says from behind you. you turn around to discover rayne, and your eyes light up at his appearance. you’re well acquainted with the detachment and chilling coldness of rayne’s gaze, but now, there’s a fire behind them.

rage.

he’s pissed.

recognition becomes evident in the man’s face, and it dawns on him that he just messed with a divine visionary’s lover, but before he can retreat, rayne steps in front of you. he yanks your harasser down to your level. you don’t know what the half-blonde says, but it’s clear that it sparks fear into the features of the other man. once rayne’s finishes with him, he apologizes profusely before running away in the opposite direction.

the anger behind rayne’s eyes fade; they soften when he finds your gaze. “are you okay.”

you grin. “yeah, now that you’re here.”

rayne lets you wear his robes

whenever you hang out in his dorm, your first instinct is to go through his closet and take them

when you first did it, he was going to protest

but you looked so cute i. them that he decided to let it slide

you especially like wearing them when you nap

though you wearing his robes does pose some problems for him from time to time

“you’re late,” orter points out from his seat at the table. his fingers slide the frame of his glasses up his nose. “and where’s your visionary robe?”

rayne strolls past the desert came, not bothering to answer for his actions. he didn’t want to admit—especially to orter of all people—the reason behind his missing robe.

this morning, just as he was almost ready to leave for the divine visionary meeting, rayne realized that he was missing his robe. the half-blonde searched ever crevice of his dorm but to no avail. rayne sighed, reaching the conclusion that you accidentally took it.

yesterday, he had to run a quick errand while you were napping. upon his return, rayne discovered that you had left. you scribbled a message on a notepad, explaining that you didn’t want to keep intruding. you were probably too tired to realize that you had his war robe in your possession.

rayne could waste any more time making a trip to your dorm. it was a bit of a distance from his. the best decision at the moment was to let you have it and attend the meeting without it.

that is how he ended up in this situation, late and stuck sitting next to ryoh.

“y/n has your robe, don’t they?” ryoh teases in a whisper. for some reason, ryoh had discovered rayne’s relationship with you. whenever the two visionaries crossed paths, his senior never fails to mention you.

the sword cane doesn’t respond. “that’s a yes, isn’t it?” ryoh continues with a shit-eating grin. he pokes the arm of the boy next to him

rayne inhales. gods, he was not going to hear the end of this.

whenever you and rayne are apart due to his job as divine visionary, you communicate through letters sent by owls

he talks about the places he’s at and shit talks the people he doesn’t like

you tell him about you classes and how things are back at the academy, especially things going on within the adler dorm

and you occasionally give him updates on finn because you know deep down rayne cares about him

an owl lands on the sill of the open window of rayne’s temporary room. the animal clamps down on an browned envelope placed in its beak. rayne approaches the bird, and it drops the letter into his hands before flying off.

the mattress of the bend sinks under rayne’s weight when he sits on it. he unfolds the piece of parchment in his hands unsealing the envelope. his eyes scan down the letter that reads:

dear rayne,

how’s your trip? i hope nothing’s gone bad. things back at easton have been the same as usual, but it’s not that fun without you here.

classes are boring, but that’s nothing new. i might rip my brain out. i’ve been baking to try and cope. by the way, when you get back, you have to try this cheese tart i made. i had your brother and a friend of his try them. they seemed to like it a lot. i don’t know the name of the kid yet, but he wants me to make cream puffs next time. he says they’re a lot better than cheese tarts so you’ll have to try those too.

speaking of finn, he’s doing extremely well. he’s making lots of friends which is really nice to see. he always seems nervous to talk to me though. am i intimidating or something. i don’t think i am. unless you’ve been saying some things about me then i think we’re gonna have a problem…

gods, i miss you so much. come back soon. i’ll be waiting for you always. take care of yourself and don’t stress too much. i love you.

- y/n

p.s. please get me a souvenir. thank you! i love you, again.

rayne stands up, finding a sheet of paper and a quill. he pulls out a chair by a table. a slight smile flashes on the visionary’s face as he writes back to you—his home.

[dragcnbreak]

AHHH THE AGE REGRESSION ONES R SO CUTE I NEED MORE!!!!! maybe one where reader is having like a breakdown/ptsd flashback which results in them regressing involuntarily and mike comforts them? could be headcanons or a fic idrc :3

IM SO GLAD PEOPLE GET THE CG MIKE VISION… here is my attempt at writing something along those lines!!! I hope u enjoy nonnie <3

◞♡࿐

The Schmidt household was practically a second home to you. You crashed on the couch more often than not and even had a drawer full of your things in Mike’s room for easy access. Your living situation was less than ideal and you felt more comfortable with Mike and Abby than anyone else so it just worked out.

That’s how you found yourself outside their door one morning, knowing it would be just Mike at the house as Abby had already left for school. You used your key and offered a shaky smile to the sleepy man on the couch. “Hey.” He says at first, taking a few seconds to look up at you. When he finally does, his eyes widen at the tears running down your cheeks and he rushes towards you.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Mike asks, using his thumb to wipe under your eyes. You don’t answer but instead, you start to sob loudly. He’s definitely awake now, all his attention on you. He helps you the best he can to the couch so you can sit down. The second he sits down with you, you fling yourself into his arms and continue your breakdown.

Mike is quick to hold you, rubbing your back softly and whispering soothing things like “it’ll be okay” and “I’ve got you”. It helps more than he knows and the both of you sit there for what seems like hours.

When you begin to quiet down, you detach yourself from him and rub at your eyes. “Are you feeling any better?” Mike asks you and you nod lazily, a sudden tiredness washing over you. “T’ank you, Mikey.” The slurring and the nickname alerts Mike to the fact that sometime during your crying session, you slipped into littlespace.

You didn’t age regress too often, specifically around Abby. But Mike was always more than happy to take care of you when you did, especially when you were sad. “Of course, baby,” he uses his favorite nickname for you when you’re in that headspace, “how about we get you something to eat and drink and then you go take a nap?” He continues.

You nod again, “m’kay.” The idea of eating doesn’t sound too bad and you know you need to stay hydrated, even more so after crying. Mike grabs the television remote and turns on Abby’s favorite channel with all the cartoons. He gives you a kiss on your forehead and then hurries to the kitchen.

He and Abby had just had breakfast so he heats up the remaining pancakes and bacon, periodically checking on you. He slathers the pancakes with butter like he knows you like it and also cuts them up. Mike then delivers them to you on a plate.

You lighten up a bit at the food, starting to dig in as he goes to get you a glass of water. He comes back and sets it on the table in front of you. Before too long, you’ve finished your food and water and are back rubbing your eyes tiredly again.

“How about that nap?” Mike offers with a knowing smile. You nod and make grabby hands, indicating you want to be picked up. The man isn’t the most built but he works out enough to easily pick you up, knowing how much you like it when he does. You wrap your arms around his neck while he holds your thighs not too tight.

In a few seconds, you’re in Mike’s room and he deposits you carefully on his bed. He tucks you in so you’re nice and safe and comfortable. He’s about to turn away when you stop him. “Can we cuddle, please?” You ask and he already knows he’s not going to say no. He hums and slips into the bed, fortunately already in comfortable wear.

In the bed, you turn to face the wall opposite the door and Mike catches on, wrapping you up in his arms. Before he knows it, you and him fall asleep even with the sun peeking through the blinds at you both.

◞♡࿐

this was kinda therapeutic to write because ive been going through a tough time myself :( tysm for the request <3

[popponn]

Hihi, im the same anon that loves ur page!!

the froggys are seriously silly :)

Anyways, can i request some hcs abt bllk boys with a reader who's going thru a depressive episode? im just goin thru stuff rn, if u can't its fine.

So, hows ur day been?

I hope you're well

have a great day! <33

byebye💖

notes: anonnie;;; i hope you are feeling better when you finally read this;;; this took so long, im sorry. i have been busy and there are lot of things going on, but i am fine thank you for asking :> and hey, a depressive episode could be tough. but you got this! okay? try to take it slow and step by step, drink water, eat food, and move around a bit. a light walk or a stretch is okay. like how the clouds always change, things will change. i hope reading this could give you a little happiness, especially when you need it.

isagi

if you are looking for someone who will listen and give practical advice without dismissing your feelings or concerns, honestly he is the one. especially as a boyfriend, you can trust him to be the one who will sit beside you on the sofa while wrapping you in the blanket. will ask you what you want to eat and the moment you decide to fight the cold hard life back, don’t worry, your isagi yoichi will be your #1 supporter! especially if you guys have spent more time in the relationship, he really is good at balancing giving comfort while still giving you trust to walk on your own. though he sometimes couldn’t 100% understand your point of view, but the sincerity in his effort to be always there for you is no joke. he promised every part of him he could give to you and he means every word of it.

bachira

who hurt his baby—he will fight it. somehow. he has this odd sixth sense when it comes to you. just with a glance, he will immediately get how down you feel and what you need. a joke and a cheer up along with many kisses? coming right up. a listener who will hug you like a koala? do you want to do that while cuddling in the bed or in public in front of his friends because he won’t hesitate honestly. just say what you want—if he must eat a cake messily like 5 year old to make you laugh then so be it. will get you out for recreation the moment he could and if he couldn’t that means it’s time for his creativity to shine (and boy does it always shine). but if the one that makes you feel down is someone, bachira is not one for violence but he could you know. if you want. (please stop him.)

rin

if you don’t cry, at best he will be an awkward listener—but a good listener nonetheless. if you cry, though, honestly he will panic. this guy is already not good with his own emotions, so you need to be clear about what you want with him. he is not the best with words though, and advice he offers is usually either “let me just fix this for you” or a straight up detached, objective one that is better offered to someone with a cool head and controlled emotion. therefore, more often than not, he opts to just listen and hold your hand. he will try to help, though, and if he can’t—at the very least you will get a really menacing guard dog who won’t let anyone mess with you while you are trying to get up. (also, go tell him to buy something. his credit card is ready and feeling like he is doing something for you is good for the both of you.)

sae

itoshi gene is harsh and he is somehow worse than his brother in this scenario. he is a naturally critical person towards anything. if you are ready to get your fault pointed out and think up a “what can i do to make this better or avoid this from happening again” go to him, but if you are looking for someone who will listen or give validation, as much as you love him, don’t. him and a terrible headspace is not a good combination. however, a direct “can you hug me?” or a “can you do something for me?” is not completely out of the question—he, after all, still cares about you. high chance he won’t ask, especially if you said you don’t want to say anything, but in this situation the softer part of him who has a hard time saying no to you truly comes out. a movie night, even if it involves the goddamned fries, would happen. he is smart enough to know when to spoil you, especially since he knows your habits and tendencies by heart.

kunigami

the sort of person who sees a hint of gloom on your face and immediately cradles it with a tenderness that no one would expect from someone with his build. he is a good, caring person by nature, if you are looking for someone to help you, he is the best choice. he can be clumsy sometimes and the words he gives to cheer you up have a high chance of being uttered with a lot of pauses in the middle—but the way he acts will probably be enough to bring a smile to your face again (and he will also smile along with you when this happen because by god you are his happiness). all those aside, high chance he can’t give advice, but he will give you top-notch cheering up—words, actions, cuddles, everything—along with genuine validation. (especially after wild card, he has seen hell. “feeling terrible” is something he understands a lot.)

kaiser

for this one i won’t sugarcoat it: jesus christ. why. is there no one else?

jokes aside, as i love to bully him a bit here, objectively—this really depends on the sort of type of person you are. if you are looking for advice or validation or a listener—not him. but if you are the sort of person who prefers a distraction or the “tough love” sort of motivation that is more scathing and heartless—borderline degrading—he is the one. out of spite, his words are probably enough to spur you into action, forgetting whatever blue feeling you have as it has turned into a red raging anger. however, a little note, believe it or not, this actually comes from a caring place in his heart. kaiser is someone with many, many harsh edges—and this comes more from “i rather see you angry and living than seeing you down without me being able to do anything” root that he rather die than say out loud.

nagi

the best you could get is a passive listener. worse you can get is a passive listener who still plays games. the worst you can get is that one scene where isagi has a legitimate concern and gets his hair pulled by this guy. another one who is better to have as a company in seeking distraction for the time than anything. but, despite how admittedly terrible he is in cheering you up with words, he truly makes it up by action when it finally hits him how down and different you are. it will take a few hours or a few days, but he will get there. afterward, expect many small sweet gestures ranging from cute gifts, your favorite snacks, et cetera. your chatroom with him will too suddenly get noisy with many cute stickers and “u ok? :x” for at least a few weeks. (also he is shameless enough to ask out loud to his teammates about what should he do with you when he realizes how stuck he is. so hey. there is that: possible extra brains if you need a solution.)

reo

common knowledge that he never shies away from using that money of his when he needs to and this is one of those situations where he genuinely considers taking you away for a trip so you can feel better near a sunny beach or a peaceful lake—you pick. if you don’t want that, however, this guy is still the best when it comes to understanding you and will be there until you give him a smile. what else do you expect from someone with a complete set of love languages? do watch out though, he is also someone who could get angry pretty quickly, especially when it involves something or someone he cares about—and this time it’s you. on a brighter note, though, this means if you are looking for someone to shit talk with, he is the one. he is a smart caring boyfriend, so talking with him during this time will do a lot of good to you. a good advice along with good validation.

bonus round:

barou — has this very awkward and unique way of cheering you up by getting you to clean the house along with him (and somehow he is less strict with you this time) and then cooking for you after; somehow always works like a charm. yukimiya — do you know all those shoujo manga perfect handsome famous sporty smart boyfriends? this is it. coming to you live. chigiri — shit-talking session that will soon move on to a pep talk that will give you every bit of confidence and drive you to need. a best friend and a boyfriend in one package. one of the people who truly knows and understands how despairing an overwhelming situation could be. karasu — will he tease you a bit like a meanie to distract you, ironically? yes. but if you need an advisor to brainstorm the best possible solution he is also the one.

[prettieinpink]

hii!! <3

I wanted to ask u if u know how to deal with a bad grade? I always get good grades and am a straight A student, but recently I got a bad grade and it's effecting my self esteem and I keep worrying and stressing about it :((

i'm not sure if u already posted something about this, if so, I'm sorry and u can just ignore this >.<

tysm and no pressure 💞

(btw I love ur blog smm!! it's so helpful! 💗🫶)

DEALING WITH A BAD GRADE

1: SELF CARE 

Dealing with a grade that was unexpected for you, or above your standards can be a huge hit to our academic confidence. So, make sure not to treat yourself harshly because of one grade. 

DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. I know it may not seem like it now, but receiving one below-average grade is not the end of the world or your academic career, nor does it represent your abilities as a student.

That being said, do not ‘punish’ yourself for a bad grade. I see that it's from a point of wanting to improve, but it’s more harmful to believe that overworking yourself will improve your grade. 

VENT OR RANT. Whether you’re talking to a classmate, friend, or family or doing some way to document your feelings, just let it all out. It can be frustrating or stressful for us if we receive a bad grade, especially if we spend so long studying for it or it has a huge weighting. 

DETACH FROM THE GRADE, just temporarily. I’m not saying forget about it, but just put it on the back of the burner and focus on the present moment. If needed, do some things you enjoy to relax and relieve your stress.      

2: IMPROVING 

Everything that you want to do after having a bad grade, to prevent that in the future and to reconcile your mistakes. Remember that improvement is only there if you commit. 

LOOK FOR ERRORS. Were your study methods effective? Did you have instrumental understanding or rational understanding of the topic? Did you use your class time effectively? 

If you do receive your assessment/assignment back, look for the mistakes you made on it. Write it down and practice those later, even if you aren’t getting assessed on it shortly. It is better to understand now than to be confused later. 

ASK YOUR TEACHER. Ask them for feedback on the assessment, where you went wrong and how you can improve in the future. Listen to them, and apply what they say. 

Or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to talk to their teacher, ask your peers who have a good understanding of that topic or got a high grade. 

REFLECT. Do you believe that this was the best grade you could’ve got, or were you able to work hard but just didn’t? Were there any externalities that affected your grade? How will you improve for next time?

3: FOR THE FUTURE

To make up for the bad grade, so it doesn’t affect your final one and to implement ways to make studying more effective.

BUILD GOOD STUDY HABITS. Flashcards before you sleep and when you wake, making your environment rid of all distractions and knowing what to do if you do not understand something etc. 

CREATE A STUDY SCHELDULE/ROUTINE. This is so you know what to study, when to study, for how long and how to study for that topic. You do not want to go into study sessions unprepared, as you’re just gonna waste time.

SEEK EXTRA CREDIT. Participating in class and doing extra assignments are ways to recover your final grade from your last one. Ask your teacher about this.

4: MOVE ON. That grade is in the past, and you are in the present. Use that present time wisely, so you can celebrate all of that hard work once you get your success. Do not waste your time dwelling on it and forgive yourself. 

Thank you for your support anonnie, it means so much to me.

[moralesmilesanhour]

if you believe in me - 04.2

summary: a very brief intermission. between aaron and his father, miles wonders who he takes after more. wc: 1.5k a/n: this chapter is me trying to get back into the swing of things before the next major plot point (!!!) so this might feel a little slower and more introspective. thanks for reading! (reblog with ur favorite comic or manga if u want idk) taglist: @shuna-boin @aloraangelix @vhstown @sillykirb @proudgojofucker @weirdducky17 @milesandcorysupermacy prev. next

BOOM!

Miles hits the ground shoulder-first with a dull thud, the storage building bursting into flames behind him.

I’m gonna feel that one later, he thinks as he rolls to his feet and back into a sprint. But Oscorp’s gonna feel it, too.

With a leap and a shot of his grappling hook, it’s not long before he’s back on the sidewalk, with Aaron waiting around the corner. The older man has completely retired the Prowler suit now.

“Not bad for your first solo run,” he nods. “Could still be a lil’ quicker, but you’ll pick it up.”

Miles twists the joints of his metal claws. The steel is still shiny and new, save for a bit of soot from the explosion. The purple glow disappears as they power down with a quiet whir and detach to reveal the human flesh underneath. They work like a charm so far.

It’s been two weeks, but he hasn’t gotten to use them - Aaron has yet to send him on a mission where he’d have to. He wants to ask his uncle about it, ask why he let him do all that welding and tinkering if the claws were just for show. But Miles knows that if he does, the man’s brows would furrow and he’d get a stern speech about not getting too eager about that sort of thing. And he’d be right. 

So, like every other night, Miles says nothing but “thanks”.

“And what’s this one about?” 

You pointed at a comic sitting on the far side of Miles’ bed. On the cover stood a man wearing what looked like some imagined version of an “African” headdress. He was shirtless and dressed in nothing but shorts and brightly-colored boots, like the costume of a wrestler. The upper half of his face was obscured by a mask with white eyes tied around his head. The flat colors and dark lines make it look old, likely from the 80s or early 90s. Above the man on the cover was the title in bold graphic font: Anansi.

“You don’t know ‘Anansi’?” Miles asked with wide eyes before shaking his head. “Nah, we gotta fix that.”

He threw what he was reading aside, hovering his hand over the pile of comics until he located the very first issue. 

“So Anansi is like, this spider that gets turned into a human who has the abilities of a spider. Y’know, climbing up walls and shit.”

“Does he shoot webs out of his ass?”

“That’s not how that works, and no. Anyway, he’s got spider powers and he beats the bad guys by being a trickster instead of just brute force.”

You took the comic from him and began leafing through the worn pages, frankly more interested in the art than the plot. The sharp lines and crosshatching remind you of Miles’ sketches. You turned to Miles and held it up once you were finished looking at it.

“Can I borrow it?” 

There’s a shadow of uncertainty that crosses his face for a moment as you await his answer. 

“Mmm…I dunno. I’ve had that thing since I was ten. You gonna be careful with it?”

You place a hand over your heart. 

“Promise.”

He snorts, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I’ll let you have it for a week, sound good?”

“Good.”

Miles remembers that he’s supposed to ask for his comic back on the way home, the two metal claws tucked safely into his backpack.

He sneaks a glance at his uncle, and tries to copy his stride when he walks. It looks easy, but there’s a rhythm to it. Miles keeps his gaze low, but his steps lively. The key is not to show the sweat, as they say. All of one’s effort goes into making it look like there’s no effort at all. 

Aaron looks over at his nephew, and chuckles.

“Remind me of your old man when you walk like that,” he says. 

Miles grins good-naturedly. Guess the sweat shows. But it’s fine, for now.

“What’s that mean?”

“When we was young, we used to watch the older kids walk out the corner store and try to copy ‘em. The way your pops did it…”

The man’s shoulders shook with laughter at the memory.

“He kinda looked like, like he was marching almost. Just stomping down that sidewalk!”

Aaron began to demonstrate, making his steps quicker and heavier.

“I look like that?” 

Miles wrinkled his nose and began to tone down his swaying.

“Exactly like that. Shit’s kinda amazing, really. Genetics.”

“I don’t think that’s how genetics work.”

“Oh yeah?” Aaron raised an eyebrow. “Then how come I got you stealing like my pops and me, and in my colors?”

Miles laughed, “But this is good stealing!”

“You got a point there.”

Aaron lifted his gaze upward towards the skyline. The moon was out in full tonight.

“Did y’all make good money, at least?”

“Sure did. Sometimes it was the only money that came in, that’s why we ain’t stop.”

There’s a beat of silence. Miles pats his left pocket to make sure the wad of cash is still there, and wonders if his uncle had to do the same thing, or if he kept it in a fanny pack or briefcase.

“So what made you finally give it up?”

“Oh, that one’s easy. Jeff did it for your mom. Hard to keep secrets with a baby on the way.”

Miles tried to picture a younger version of his father – less facial hair, no eye bags, better eyesight, probably – looking a pregnant Rio in the eye as she broke the news. He looks into her gentle face and…yes, there. Right there is when he decides it’s over. 

Even without the whole parenting thing, it probably killed him inside to have to lie to her every night about where he’s been. Miles gets it.

“What about you?”

Aaron shrugged.

“Couldn’t leave my nephew hanging.”

He had knocked on Miles’ door after a few weeks of radio silence and found the kid lying in bed, surrounded by dirty clothes and snack wrappers. The room smelt of stale sweat, the clothes piled up on the floor impossible to get through, so Aaron elected to stand just outside.

Miles looked up, and suddenly the man understood what had Rio so frantic on the phone. 

The boy’s gaze was…vacant. Like he was looking through him, at something far off in the distance. There were no words comforting enough to turn the lights back on behind those eyes. So Aaron had done the next best thing:

“Go wash up, we goin’ out.”

Miles doesn’t remember it that way. He hardly remembers anything from that period of time between the funeral and his uncle barging into his room. Just a long stretch of gray, and then the door cracks open, then he’s in the shower realizing how long his hair’s gotten, and soon he’s dodging the punching bag in Aaron’s apartment, carrying crates back and forth and maybe blowing some up on occasion. 

He knows in his head that he’s doing this to hurt the pockets of invisible men hiding in their glass skyscrapers and high-rise offices, and he’s as angry at them for sucking the life out of his neighborhood as he’s always been. 

But it had started with the door, cracked open just enough for his uncle’s face to poke through. Otherwise, Miles might’ve been content to lie there and become one with his mattress as he missed another week of school.

He wonders if his father went on those runs because he, too, looked into his future and hadn’t the slightest idea as to what he was looking at. 

Miles’ thoughts are interrupted when his phone buzzes in his pocket. You have his Anansi issue.

“So this is all you do in your free time, then? Comics and robots?”

Miles has his nose in another shounen manga.

“Is that a bad thing?”

You remember the helmet, and the parts set in neat little rows. And the tarp in Uncle Aaron’s car.

“Not for the most part. More interesting than what I do.”

Miles finally looks up, and squints. “What do you do in your free time?”

“I braid hair,” you reply with a bit of pride. “Pretty good at it, too.”

“Mm-hm, that’s what they all say before they fuck yo’ shit up,” he jokes, earning an issue of Jujutsu Kaisen to the face.

“Ow!”

“Shut up, with them fuzzy ass braids.”

Miles gasped dramatically. “You said they looked nice!”

“Looked. Past-tense.”

“Chill on me, my mom didn’t have time to re-do ‘em this week.”

Seeing an opportunity, your eyes lit up.

“Ooh, let me–”

“No.”

Miles narrowed his eyes at you.

“Aw, come on! You have so much hair, it could be fun! And you said you’d let me.”

You reached out to touch one of Miles’ overgrown braids but ended up swiping the air as he dodged your hand.

“I said ‘maybe’, and now the answer is no. You’re gonna ‘have fun’ in my hair? Like you ‘had fun’ with my t-shirt? I know you stole it, by the way.”

“I up-cycled it.”

“Cutting a shirt in half is not up-cycling, and you’re not touching my head.”

“You're so mean.”

[wexhappyxfew]

hey! in one of your recent answers to an ask, you said that judy often told her self off for having a crush as a teenager - does she feel any of that hesitation or kind of self-deprivation with rosie?

HEY!!!!!

i would definitely say yes to that — i mentioned something in that previous ask about how judy’s past in a major player in her current present life (and not necessarily in all bad ways) but i would say this is one such example where is DOES affect her in not entirely the best light.

growing up on a farm, with a lack of an education, a whole lot of siblings, stressed out parents and a stress bubble around the house, when things like that DID happen, ie getting a crush and not feeling like she could talk about it with someone. she’d think about it and go over it in her head and then try to detach herself from that idea. there’s that hint of self-deprivation there already. this idea that there’s other, better options and that her having a crush is something she’ll eventually get over. so having that experience in her youth DEFINITELY makes her hesitant with rosie in many ways.

there was a prompt i did a few weeks back where judy is promoted to lieutenant (by rosie’s doing) and she lets it slip a bit that she sorta-kinda-maybe-possible is in love with him and/or loves him and we don’t know what HE thinks of that, we just get judy’s interpretation. but she tells him that ‘no one has ever loved him like she has’ sorta vibes and she realizes ‘oh shit THATS what i said’ and makes a run for it. running from the fact she said that. AND NOW — we still don’t know what their next meeting is and if judy tries to clear that up or make things right. which brings us to that idea of hesitation and self-deprivation. she feels if she were confident in herself, she would’ve ran with it. but having those experiences and having feelings before that she detached from, suddenly she is enthralled with rosie and really doesn’t know what to do.

that’s definitely why the Silver Bullets crew is so important to her — it makes her feel OKAY to have those feelings and she has people who she can talk about them with her. especially about her feelings for rosie. and i think that’s really sweet :) her feeling comfortable enough to open up.

but definitely would say it makes her more hesitant. because things get VERY REAL VERY FAST. and she’s suddenly like — i AM in love with him. what do i do? do i DESERVE this? that’s her biggest question. oh judy rybinski u sweet bean!!!!!!! <3

fantastic question friend! thank you and i hope you enjoyed my response! :)

[infamous-if]

"#yes if u get the ROs to like u enough they’ll be jealous" - So...😏 how jealous are our beloved ROs on scale of 1 to 10 and how do they act when jealous?

Seven: a solid 8.5 😭Seven isn’t possessive though, and they’re more jealous in the way of “MC is so pretty/handsome/attractive they talk to anyone and that person will fall in love with them I need them to get away from them like asap” and seven is the type to to flaunt the relationship, they like making their relationship known. how they act when they’re jealous: much more touchy, PDA on a thousand, wants everyone in the room to know they’re together so people can act accordingly, very clingy and needy actually…they kind of turn into a puppy who needs to be taken care of

Orion: 5. When Orion gets jealous, he internalizes it and doesn’t really do much about it. He knows how to push it down and act regularly because he’s just hardwired to keep his emotions at bay. how he acts when he’s jealous: When he does show his jealousy, he is very…deceptively nice. A cool smile, you think he’s being kind to you but then he walks away and you realize he just insulted you in three different ways lol

Sebastian: 4. Sebastian rarely gets jealous because he is so kind that he sees it and is like “MC is an amazing person who wouldn’t want to be with them” and would think it’s a compliment towards MC lol he also just doesn’t ever think that there could be nefarious intentions in “stealing MC away” because he never stops to think that people…are capable of being bad 😭 even though he has experience with it but yk

how he acts when he’s jealous: if he does get jealous, it will be the first time Sebastian is ever cold toward someone and with MC, he’ll try to amp up his charm and try to steal MC’s attention, basically like “look here! Look here!” Victoria: 10. Victoria is a very jealous person but it stems a lot from her own insecurities.

how she acts when she’s jealous: She tries to push it down and deal with it herself so MC may not even realize she’s jealous because that’s the kind of coping mechanism she built up with G: act indifferent or normal. She doesn’t realize that…people can talk things out and communicate haha

G: 0 or 3. think it’s pretty obvious by now that G is pretty detached from their feelings, so they’re not a jealous person at all…until they’re in love. Then it’s a whole new experience they don’t even know how to deal with, but even then, they’re not very jealous mostly because they’re a pretty free person themself and understand a little flirting is harmless and fun! how they act when they’re jealous: if, by some specific reason, they get super jealous…they will quite literally pull MC away from the person making them jealous and tell MC to keep them company and be direct that they’re jealous lol or they’ll be funny/witty and say something like “hope ur not trying to steal them away from me are u? *wink wink*” to the person lol or something along those lines. Nothing too serious.

August: 6. August is pretty good at picking up people’s vibes/intentions so they’ll know if someone has their eyes on MC

how they act when they’re jealous: they shed that whole internal/reserved act and start acting real cool. make witty digs at the other person and have the whole room laughing, basically showing MC what MC would be missing 😭 but ‘Cool August’ would not be afraid to tell MC how they’re feeling but they’d also be cool enough to get MC to remember why exactly they’re is so…enticing, they’d definitely have a few people falling in love with them by the end of the night

[theproperweirdo]

How would you describe the differences between Afk Journey Lorsan, Lyca, and Eironn with Afk Arena Lorsan, Lyca, and Eironn?

I started playing afk journey, and I can't help but feel like some of the wilders are out of character

Whewww this was a long one 😩😩 sorry for leaving u for a bit, my exams ended and I’m sick rn :,( below are just my brief thoughts on specific characters that are in both Arena and Journey.

This post has an analysis on Lyca and Lorsan, then I just try and make some backstory explanations for Niru, Thoran, Rowan, and Satrana for Journey Lore goers.

This post is for anon but also anyone interested in the changes they’ve made between Arena and Journey! Feel free to add more 🙏🙏

What I think they’ve done is taken one or two traits from a character, and tried to make it the main focus of their personality. But it takes over the entire character, and ultimately leaves them a bit flat. I think they tried to make the wilders “emotional” but ended up scraping their intellectual and leadership traits. Not to say they’re idiots now, but they don’t have the same depth as before.

Lyca is more emotionally charged when we talk to her now, more than in arena. Her original story makes sure we know she’s a kind, nurturing person, capable of bringing out the best in others. In arena they delve into her personal relationships with others a lot, but aside from Eironn appointing her in charge while he leaves, she doesn’t have the same energy. She does try to bring Eironn into the group more so he can learn to rely on others, but the storyline was more like her trying to help a friend than her unearthing a talent or trait. She doesn’t hold herself to the same standards, saying she will “enter competitions where winning is secured.” Vs Lyca in Arena, who— although losing faith in herself— fights against the words of everyone else and believes in own abilities. In Journey, she’s the leader of our group. But in Arena, she’s truly the leader of the dusk watch, and a strong voice for everyone in the dark forest. Attached some screenshots to try and help explain my thoughts below

I’ve talked about ALorsan vs JLorsan before, but I think I can refine my thoughts from then. He’s always been sort of.. air headed? A little aloof but very smart, and always very connected to the environment around him. JLorsan however, is pretty much ready to throw down with everyone. He makes quips at his friends often, causes mischief, and helps battle enemies during the story. ALorsan is definitely the opposite for me. Always a laid back, accepting individual, who feels well put together. He rarely gets mad, and when he does, it’s because he feels people’s wellbeing’s are at stake. He’s described by Rowan as a “calm monk” and I think that sums it up well. He’s a little detached from reality, but it’s because he’s always absorbing nature and listening to what’s around him. I like him in Journey, but he loses his deep connection with the world, and although he still has it (somewhat), it’s clearly not as present anymore. Below are some story tib bits I nabbed from Rowan, Rigby, and Lorsan’s story in Arena in case anyone wants to read them.

I feel like I saw the main changes in those two, but I’ll add some other characters too 🫣

If you know about Rowan’s story in arena, skip the following paragraph ⬇️⬇️

Rowan’s character has stayed pretty consistent between the two games, but I feel like they leave out a lot about his backstory. As (I assume) most arena lore-ians know, Rowan’s father was a regular guy who— through his wits and good investments— became Esperia’s youngest and wealthiest noble. He had 2 sons, Angelo his oldest (hippie bard), and Rowan his youngest. They were raised to understand that money can be gained and taken easily, and that they need to know how to be self sufficient despite their wealth. But Angelo didn’t want to be a noble, and ran away to travel the world and spread his songs. Everything fell to Rowan, including an engagement to the Kings daughter Peggy (yeowchhhh). But Rowan felt dissatisfied that everything would just fall into his lap. He wanted to reach the top on his own, so he could come back and feel like he truly proved himself.

Almost none of this is included in game! Journey only writes about how his father is the richest noble, and that Rowan was born incredibly rich. They did manage to keep the honest and empathetic traits he holds himself to as a business man though, so I’m only here to say— WHY DIDNT THEY ADD IN HIS ENTIRE BACKSTORY 😭😭 we literally meet Peggy in game but they don’t end up elaborating on why they’re “engaged” or why Rowan “ran off.” If you don’t play arena, you’re left to assume he’s a rich kid who’s out in the world doing business. GAHHHHH 😢😢 Screenshots of his story belwo

They do the same to most of the others too, where they don’t include any of their previously established lore.

Niru was an army solider, who was away from his wife and kid often. He was around the dead enough that he began to dabble in necromancy before he was discovered and promptly executed. But a little before that, he managed to cast a spell that would bring him back to life. After that, he goes back to his Wife (after their kid died!) and resurrects his kid INFRONT OF HIS GRIEVING WIFE 😭😭 in arena he travels with his family to lead lost souls home, but if I were his family I’d be a just a teensy bit angry.

Thoran was once a very generous and loving king. He was beloved by his kingdom, and cherished peaceful times. His brother Edwin however, was a warmonger and wanted to bring back glorious battle. Thoran disagreed, and so Edwin gathered those under his influence and assassinated both Thoran and their Sister, Theowyn, along with all his adversaries. But Thoran’s loyal guard (gay ass) was brought back to life by Queadam, who had him perform a ritual to bring back his king. Now a graveborn, Thoran was filled with hate and anger. He ordered a mass execution of his entire kingdom, then brought them back to life under a curse that swore they’d all be loyal to him. This branches out into OTHER characters who aren’t in Journey lmao

Satrana had specifically her job altered. Now she’s what i assume is a wandering diviner. Before, she was a temple disciple under the mauler temple’s elder. Before that, she was a slave who was constantly abused. She fled, and Antandra was the one who saved her. This is also why Antandra is an exile, she believed in helping everyone and went against the temple’s elders. So in the end, Antandra was exiled for helping a girl, one who was eventually taken in by the temple itself. Crazy. I know there’s a storyline update in Journey about them now, but there’s also one in arena so if anyone could tell me about it I’ll exchange info

Also Brutus ⬇️⬇️

Okay I’m still sick so that’s it 😢😢 all in all, they really simplified most characters, or left out chunks of their story. Heartbreaking

[dustorange]

Hi! I'm a big fan of your Dick Grayson works but also kind of new to the character. And I've learnt that getting reccs from people who's characterization I like is worthwhile, so any comic recs?

HEY thank you so much you are so sweet ! i can’t give you ONLY comic recs that people will think r respectable but i can get you to my dick characterization lol

this is pretty much exactly the order i used when i started reading dick comics so i think its a solid intro reading order for Dick’s characterization OVERALL……it definitely will give u the Dick-as-a-character foundation but it will give u him outside of his element so u see his Essence as opposed to him blending in w the plot/setting BUT TLDR:

Robin Year One

Grayson (2014-2016)

Dick’s run as Batman — i think for streamlining purposes u can start with Damian’s first appearance in Batman #656 and sorta just keep going in Batman issues until you want to stop. There’s also a separate series for Dick-as-Batman: Batman & Robin (2009). I would say gives issues #1-6 a try and see if you like it. THEN READ SCOTT SNYDERS BATMAN BLACK MIRROR

New 52 Nightwing but mainly #1-17

Nightwing (1996)

After that u r free to explore the wonderful deeper worlds outsiders titans etc at ur whims equipped w a solid dg education BE FREE

explanation:

AFTER ROBIN YR 1 I SAY START WITH GRAYSON (2014-2016) because it will make you love reading comics, and it will make you love dick grayson. All (maybe most but mostly all) of my Dick Grayson characterization is a footnote to Grayson. Every DG fic i write is me playing with the Dick who appeared in Grayson. my favorite favorite favorite dick run ever (and my fav comic ever). it’s only like 20 or so issues so it’s VERY manageable. i read it when i was 12 and it was first coming out and its superb its jumpy and funny and warm and clever and just generally fun. its also. FOR THE FIRST HALF. very very VERY well written. To me it’s a skeleton key for dicks character—how hes bright and dark and intelligent and calculating and detached and passionate and contradictorily TOO attached and willingtodowhatmustbedone but above all, most of all, how he’s a performer. This series can get you REALLY FAR in dick’s character. I’ve read a lot of dick stuff but like when i write dick stuff i m writing the dick i learned from Grayson when i was 12. A lot of people rly hate it and they hate Tom king and seeley but Grayson is proof to me that they’re genuine talents. the end of Grayson does fall off but Grayson’s highs are so astronomically high you can’t begrudge it anything. it’s a mostly isolated series and takes place in a weird context but it explains EVERYTHING u need to know abt how Dick got there in the series pretty succinctly . i think it’s a GREAT GREAT GREAT starter series for dick if you’ve already got his robin origin down and it’s genuinely fun and a joy (albeit sometimes emotionally crushing) to read

Robin Year One and then just randomly pick and choose some 1940s detective comics they’re just sweet and good grounding

then i think u should read DickBats. i think it would be really interesting to read Dick-as-Batman before Dick-as-Nightwing because in DickBats, you get SO MUCH characterwork and you FEEL how much Dick loved being Nightwing so it would be a cool experience. i LOVED grant morrison’s dickbats run and I then scott snyders run so HARD REC THOSE some people say they don’t like them but this is also boiling dicks character down to the very foundational essential aspects because it’s placing him in a new situation instead of his typical one (nightwing)

As far as getting introduced to dick specifically as nightwing, i do think n52 nightwing is a good introduction to comics and it’s fun/enjoyable/angsty. Dick suffers a LOT. I also looooooove dick’s red suit and the way he’s drawn by brettbooth and i LOVE the storylines with the circus and Raya Vestri so i think this is a good and accessible intro. I think it gets worse after #17 (MY FAV SIDE CHARACTER DIES) so u can stop there or keep going

Nightwing 96 is very important so u should read it at some point it is the keystone but only read it from the beginning after u already like dick as a character bc I think some of the early issues with Dixon writing r soooooooooooo boring. it is like 25% devastatingly utterly boring and 75% sparkling super gem. which is a pretty good percentage!! but u can delay reading it . people will also tell u that New Teen Titans is critical dick reading. i also think that one is boring but unlike NW96 all of NTT is boring to me but reading NTT is ALSO important TO DO AT SOME POINT but for now u can def skip it

[msallurea]

hello. i would like to share a success story and a question.

a few days ago, I was going for a ride and I was thinking about how “states” manifest, so I got curious and decided to test it. I thought about a boy who told me he didn’t want to text me anymore (three or two weeks ago) because he was kind of catching feelings, i did not care about this but yeah thought of him for my little test.

I said “he always texts me and tells me about his day” that was it. I said it and then immediately forgot.

TWO HOURS later, I receive a text and it’s HIM. In those two whole hours I did NOT remember I said that affirmation about him because I’m not kidding when I say I immediately forgot about it.

the text said “go to sleep”, I replied with “hi” and then he proceeded to tell me everything about those no contact weeks and about his day.

I’ve been manifesting my real sp for 2 months (not that I care about time but for reference) but just recently learned about states as I said earlier.

but, sometimes i’m in the state of “yeah we’re together” and it’s heavenly because i really think from it and have good inner conversations but sometimes i doubt and be like “yeah we’re gonna be together anyway because it’s law” but I have trouble because these are two entirely different states I think.

also some days I feel extremely detached and even say i don’t need it anymore but then I get scared and kind of go back in to not being fully detached.

what advice can u give me on this? I already worked on self concept and went to therapy! I will be out of therapy in two more sessions because my therapist says i’m perfect, so i’m aware this does not involve a sc problem, more of a state problem.

thank you in advance, all love.

CONGRATULATIONS your success story is amazing

As for your question, me personally if I were in your situation I wouldn't stress so much about this since technically both of those thoughts mean that you are technically with your sp whether it be later on being shown in your 3d or you knowing that consciousness is the only reality therefore your fine with thinking that your already with your sp because by law whatever you assume to be true is true.

But to help you I feel the simpliest way you just make you feel comfortable relax knowing that you 2 are together regardless if you think that he's gonna come because it's law or you naturally think that he's already here because he's here in the 4d, as long as you accept that it's already fulfilled then your fine

[liquorisce]

shotgun kiss

rating: nsfw / E

pairing: eren x mikasa | read on ao3

summary: “Do you want a puff?” He should feel terrible, but the more she looks at him that way– sweet, trusting, he gives into the pulsing desire in his gut.

“I-I don’t really know how to,” -

“… I’ll teach you. Put in your mouth.” It sounds kind of crude the way he says it, makes her think of other things, memories from when they were a lot more intimate. He places the joint between her lips and says, “… Suck.”

a/n: ok so some of u tumblr fam have read parts of this before, but I have added about 2k+ of smut in celebration of kinktober, and it is now complete so yay!

She doesn’t know what she’s doing here. The minute she steps inside she’s overcome by how much she doesn’t fit in here.

(Maybe that’s why he left, why he doesn’t keep in touch— maybe she just doesn’t fit into his lifestyle anymore)

There are so many faces she doesn’t know, just a lot of people in varying styles of black, and some flashes of metal here and there.

There are some people on the couch crowding around the bong, and they seem to be playing some sort of game where people take hits from the bong depending on their answers.

There’s a couple in the corner making out, or maybe three of them she isn’t sure, who are only decent because of the way their hands cover each other up.

She’s certain she can feel eyes on her, and she cringes inwardly because she probably sticks out like a sore thumb - pale pink blouse and modest but figure-hugging denim. She looks almost virginal in this house.

Thankfully she knows this house - basement? - well enough to find her way to the kitchen, and she reaches for a glass of water, to calm herself down.

“… Sure you don’t want anything stronger?”

Gulping, she turns to face him, watching her with a detached expression. “… Eren.”

He looks every bit as handsome as she’d always thought he was, growing up. Except instead of his boyish enthusiasm, his green eyes glow with a sort of magnetic darkness, his willowy brown hair pulled up into a messy bun.

There’s a new tattoo that peaks out on his collarbones, some sort of wings that are still healing. “… I didn’t know you were having a party today.”

“Yeah,” he walks towards her, “… I don’t recall inviting you.”

She winces at his not-so-subtle reminder that he doesn’t want her here. “So what did you come here for, since it’s certainly not to have fun? That’s not really your style, is it, Mikasa?”

His eyes give her a once over and she can’t tell if he’s displeased or just simply unreadable; she can’t tell a lot of things about Eren nowadays. He takes a puff from his joint, his perfect lips pursing for an exhale.

“What are you smoking?” She asks, trying to sound conversational. Her tone doesn’t sell it though.

His eyes narrow. “What does it matter? You’re just about to tell me a million reasons why I shouldn’t be doing it anyway.” His lips curve in a mocking smile.

She looks away from him. A huge part of her hates it, hates what he’s become, a boy who’d only wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, studied his ass off to get into med school only to drop out two years later. The last time she’d confronted it, she’d asked him how he even supported himself if he’d dropped out of school and quit his job. The grin he’d given her told her maybe it was better if she didn’t know how he made his money nowadays.

The smaller, more desperate part of her just wants to ignore all of it; she misses him, misses being a part of his life, and thinks maybe she could at least turn a blind eye to his self-destruction if she cannot save him from it.

“Maybe I just wanna try it,” she says defensively, not sounding convincing in the least.

He raises his eyebrows, his mouth twisting into a smirk. “… Yeah?”

She nods hesitantly, biting her lower lip as he moves closer to her, making her step back subconsciously against the counter. “Well why not,” he murmurs, “… maybe sweet, perfect Mikasa’s finally going to learn to have some fun.”

He takes a deep inhale of the joint, eyes boring into her before he drops lower, lips hovering just over hers. The proximity is enough to make her gasp, lips parting slightly, her body feeling hot when he slips his knee between her thighs.

He exhales directly into her mouth, the intoxicating smoke flowing directly into her. “Take it in, sweetheart,” he urges, “… till your throat burns.”

Mikasa does as he says, eyes watering a little from the smoke, the taste and smell being completely new to her. She’s not sure if it’s the smoke that’s making her feel heady or if it’s the fact that his lips are so close to hers, they’re literally brushing against hers.

His hands find purchase on her hips, his thumb brushing under her sweater and against her taut abs. “… Again?”

She nods, and he does it again, and she wonders if she imagines his leg brushing just a little closer to the warmth between her legs. After he blows into her mouth, this time, his lips fall just below her lips, pressing featherlight kisses along her jawline.

She coughs lightly, and he looks up at her. “… You okay?” Her pupils are dilated just a little bit, pink lips parting invitingly.

“A little dizzy,” she breathes, “… or something like that.” She can barely recognise her own voice.

He smiles, regarding her intently, and her heart skips a beat because it’s been so long since he’s looked at her with affection in his eyes.

“… You like it…” A question? A statement? She has no idea. All she knows is that his breath is kind of tickling her lips, and she’s rubbing down on his thighs, sort of, and yeah, she does like that.

“You want another shotgun kiss, sweetheart?”

She’s not really sure what it means, but whatever he was smoking was starting to get to her, and it’s kind of taking over her body, like a warmth, relaxing, uncoiling, and she doesn’t really want to think about it too much anymore, so she nods, whispering, “… Please, Eren.” And maybe she just really likes it when he talks sweet to her like that.

It’s so transparent, Eren feels guilty. She’s in his arms, relaxed like she hasn’t got a care in the world. Apart from getting him to kiss her. It’s so sweet, the way she begs him with just her eyes, it goes straight to his cock. That’s why he preferred the distance between them.

Miss Goody-two-shoes Mikasa Ackerman with her perfect grades, perfect career… perfect fucking body. She never did anything wrong… except for Eren Jeager. Classic bad boy with anger issues and a penchant for things on the other side of the law. At first, she’d tried to lecture him, pull him back, and remind him of all the good things he wanted from life, but he isn’t sure if he wants all those things anymore.

But Mikasa? She used to be a good thing in his life. Maybe the only thing he still wanted… regardless of how much ever he tried to push her away. It was even harder to deny now, when she was so pliant in his arms, silly grin on her cheeks, lips shining from where she licked them. 

He blows the smoke into her open mouth slowly, hands on her cheeks as soft as he can manage. Runs his fingers through her hair afterward as he watches the haze in her eyes. “You good, Mikasa?”

She hums, closing her eyes. It was too tempting to pass up. He kisses her slowly, suckling her lower lip and pulling it into his mouth, one hand finding purchase on her hip. The fact that he gets to kiss her after so damn long (he’d almost given up on them ever getting back together), even though he knows he’s probably taking advantage of the situation, gets him carried away. He likes feeling her relax in his arms, watching her pupils dilate in this heady mixture of intoxication and arousal, seeing her nipples poking through the soft fabric of her blouse.

Mikasa’s lips are so pretty, so perfect, he’d always been enamoured by them, by how they feel, how they look when she’s happy. She giggles when it finally hits her, breathes on his ear that he’s tickling her with all these kisses. It makes him do it even more, if only that he can see her laugh with him again. They’d been fighting for several months now; all he’d ever see in her eyes was disappointment.

So he commits it to memory, her laugh, her arousal, takes it a step further when his hands reach inside her shirt to grope at her breasts and fondle her nipples. “Eren, there’s people here,” -

“And none of these people care, Mikasa.” He lifts her up swiftly and places her on the counter. There’s clear apprehension in her eyes as she looks at him. He picks up his joint and takes a drag.

“Do you want a puff?” He should feel terrible, but the more she looks at him that way– sweet, trusting, he gives into the pulsing desire in his gut.

“I-I don’t really know how to,” -

“… I’ll teach you. Put in your mouth.” It sounds kind of crude the way he says it, makes her think of other things, memories from when they were a lot more intimate. He places the joint between her lips and says, “… Suck.”

She does exactly as he says, pursing her lips around the joint and sucking hard. The smoke fills her mouth and abruptly she coughs sputtering all around her.

Smirking, he murmurs, “… You have to hold it in, babe. You can do that, can’t you?”

She’s not really sure if she’s imagining it, but she feels nervous under his gaze, exposed maybe, and it makes her body feel hot. Tears in her eyes from the smoke, she tries again, this time letting the acrid smoke go down her throat. She lets it out in a more controlled exhale, not without a few stray coughs. “I don’t think I’m very good at it,” she says, throat itchy.

She scrunches up her nose, looking absolutely adorable.

“Relax, Mikasa. You don’t always have to be good at everything, you know.” He boops her nose playfully, remembering how much he hated that growing up; she was good at school, good at sports, good-looking, good at heart -

He’d hated her almost as much as he loved her. (Was it all that different now?)

Her eyes widen, cheeks flushing as she looks at him in a kind of dazed wonder. She rubs the tip of her nose gingerly. “… it’s been so long since you’ve done that.”

Shit. It was just a gesture he’d done so many times, he hadn’t even thought about it before doing it. Hell, he’d practically been kissing her minutes ago, and that hadn’t sounded off any alarms in her head apparently, but a little nose boop had her looking at him with the kind of hope in his eyes that he just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with right now.

“Forget it,” he says, harsher than he intended, reassessing the position they were in; faces mere inches from each other, him nestled between her legs in the corner of the kitchen. “… I shouldn’t have done it.”

Shouldn’t have kissed her, because it’s all he can think about even though he’s stepped back and put some distance between them. His lips burn where they touched her skin, her mouth, craving a sensation he has no business seeking anymore.

She pulls on his sleeve and his gaze flies back to hers, pretty grey orbs looking at him pleadingly. “… I miss you, Eren.” Very simply, a truth she doesn’t hesitate to say. Eren thinks she’d say it even if she wasn’t high because that’s just how she was - honest, simple, perfect. “Don’t you miss me?”

Her voice wavers because she’s scared to hear it, afraid that he’s going to say no and push her away like he has for the last few months; he’d tell her he doesn’t care and step on her heart the way he’s done unflinchingly in the past. He sees it, sees the vulnerability, and he hates himself for it.

It’s an addictive kind of pain, a stabbing self-loathing that came with loving Mikasa Ackerman. He’d never felt good enough for her even when he was doing everything right - doing med school and a part-time job, driving up every Sunday to meet his father, taking flowers to his mother’s grave.

Now he can’t bear to do any of it, he feels betrayed by all that he thought was right, and anything more than waking up and distracting himself from it all feels like a weight he isn’t strong enough to carry. Especially when the weight is from his girlfriend’s crushing disappointment.

This is why he’d distanced himself, why he doesn’t like her coming over, why he can’t bear to be near her anymore. He takes a deep drag and prays that the smoke in his nostrils and his mouth will make it all hazy again, because he doesn’t want to see these things clearly anymore.

He shuts his eyes for a brief moment, whispers, “Why? Why do you miss me, Mikasa?”

Because what else do I do for you other than weigh you down?

She threads her fingers into his, pulling him closer. “… it used to feel good,” she breathes, kind of wistful, “being with you.”

He feels the whisper on his chin, her lips brushing against his skin, and he feels it; it used to feel more than just good… being with her used to feel right.

As right as it does right now, when her legs loop around his thighs, locking him into place flush against her hips, her hands resting on his chest.

He’s starting to recognize that he’s already ruined, he’s already fucked up, and maybe there’s no point overthinking this anymore. Taking another drag, this time he runs a thumb along her lip and opens her mouth before he shotguns into her. Maybe it’s selfish, but he doesn’t want either of them to be seeing clearly when none of this is real.

“I could make you feel good again,” he murmurs, hands roaming her thighs, loving the feel of her in his hands. (He’d missed her too, how could she ever have thought otherwise?)

“Mmhmm.” Her hands thread into his hair, and she angles herself against his mouth, tasting his weed-stained lips, tongue tracing his teeth before it slips inside of him.

She tastes a little bit like him, of regret and smoke but mostly of longing, and it makes him yearn for her in ways he hadn’t allowed himself to recently. Her breasts press up against his chest, and it feels so natural, so unbelievably good, he almost groans into her mouth.

He wants her to feel good too, he wasn’t lying when he said he would do it; that’s what she misses about him after all. His fingers reach for the button of her jeans and slide her zipper down, and he feels her gasp against his mouth. “… What are you,” -

“I thought you wanted to feel good, baby,” he says, knowing just how unfairly he was twisting her own words. The hitch in her throat however tells him she doesn’t truly mind this, not at all.

His thumb reaches into her panties and finds her weakness immediately. He brings it to his mouth and licks the pad of his thumb, his eyes not leaving hers, enjoying the way her mouth parts wantonly with the knowledge of what he was going to do.

He brushes against her clit and she arches, unprepared for how good it would feel. She hears the noise of someone rummaging at the other end of the kitchen and she stills, panicking.

“Relax,” he tells her, because she’s still too tense, there’s no way he’d let anyone see her; his entire frame blocks any vantage point anyone else could have of her. “Focus on my fingers, baby. That’s it.”

She’s unbelievably wet, his index and middle finger are drenched as he works them into her. “… Do you really think I’d let anyone else watch you when you’re like this?” His lips hover over the shell of her ear. “When you’re dripping onto my fingers,” he nibbles on her lobe, “like a slut?”

She tightens around him as he says it, cheeks burning, a low moan escaping her lips. He kisses her again, before she can get too loud, consuming her little whimpers before they can escape him.

She feels so precious like this, so small, clinging on to him while he makes her come with just his fingers. “It’s been a while since you’ve done it, haven’t you?” He wonders if it’s the weed that makes him ask this so boldly, if that’s what makes her blush when she nods. She’d come so quickly, so easily, like all she needed was his touch.

He likes it though, likes that he still has this effect on her, that despite all the disappointment he seems to cause, he can make her unravel for him in minutes. He extracts his fingers from her pussy and keeping his gaze fixed on hers, slips them into his mouth, sucking deliberately.

“You taste just as sweet as I remember, Mikasa.” he murmurs.

Her hands move to his pants, tugging on his zipper. “Am I allowed to taste you?” 

He can feel himself grow harder at her words. He thumbs her lower lip, pink with saliva and the juices from her cunt that were on his finger. “Did you miss that too, baby?” And when she blushes he says, “Beg me for it and I’ll let you.” 

She threads her hands around his neck, reaches up on tiptoe and clings to him, breath hot on his ear. “I missed sucking you off, Eren. So much.” And God, if that wasn’t hot enough, she brushes her fingers against his bulge. “Please?” 

Maybe a younger version of him, less experienced, would have made a mess of himself on the spot. His hand moves up to grip her neck, tipping her mouth up to meet his. Exactly then, he hears an absolutely unwanted, annoying, infuriating voice call his name. “Jaeger, Connie got a bit uh, enthusiastic and um, broke the bong. Do you have– Whaaa–”

Eren turns to the side, his gaze blistering with fury. “Get the fuck out, Jean.” 

It takes a second for Jean to fully comprehend the scene in front of him. Maybe because he’s stoned out of his mind, he lingers, his gaze taking in Mikasa tucked into Eren’s chest, her messy state of dress. “Didn’t know you guys were back together,” he says slowly, the faint fire of lust glowing in his eyes. 

“We’re n—” 

“It’s none of your business, actually.” And this time he doesn’t hide the venom from his voice, his grip on Mikasa’s neck tightening. 

Jean smirks, levelling with Eren for a hot minute. And then he puts his hands up and walks out. Before he leaves the kitchen he turns over his shoulder and says, “Missed seeing you around, Mikasa.” 

Dick.

“Get on your knees, Mikasa.” His grip is firm around her neck, and his gaze is burning— annoyed, possessive? She couldn’t tell. 

When she hesitates, he narrows his eyes. “Just one minute ago, you were begging? And after Jean came in you’re suddenly not interested anymore? Is that how easy it is to change your mind, sweetheart?” 

The anger lacing his voice should scare her. Maybe if she weren’t so fucking high, it would. But all she can focus on is what she wants; and she’s willing to beg for it. “I was just wondering if we could go somewhere more private, Eren. I don’t want anyone to interrupt us again.” 

He considers her slowly, lets the anger ebb and fade. Rubs his thumb against her neck softly, before dropping a kiss on her collarbone. “He’s always been sweet on you, that motherfucker.” 

His kisses feel like little shots of vodka poured straight into her bloodstream. The possessive edge to his voice makes her clench her thighs. “Let’s go to your bedroom.” Her fingers slip under his shirt. “Please.” 

He loved hearing her beg, but he doesn’t make her beg too much. He doesn’t have the patience for it. “Wrap your legs around me, baby.” 

If people see them when he carries her up the stairs, he doesn’t care. If they think they’re back together… Well let them fucking think it. When he shuts the door behind him, she immediately slinks down to her knees. 

It was fucking heavenly. The sight of the girl he loved so eager to blow him, so fucking sweet as she pulled him out of his pants and licked him from the balls to his head? Pretty fucking hard to beat. 

He lets her warm up, licking and sucking the tip, being cute with her kisses, until he pushes forward, goes a bit deeper, makes her gag, murmuring, “You’re so fucking perfect, it pisses me off.” She lets out a gasp as he slips out of her mouth with a pop, cock smacking against her cheek. 

He fists his hand in her hair, pulling her gaze up to him. A string of spit falls down her chin. “You satisfied, Mikasa? This is what you wanted, right?” He smears the spit along her cheek with his thumb. 

She touches her tongue to his head, licking the precum on top. “Wanna taste your cum,” she says faintly, pretty grey eyes flickering away from him. 

Suddenly he’s overcome with the urge to kiss her. It’s a little bit sappy and mostly ruined, but this is how she fucks him over— tells him sweet things and then dirty things with that perfect mouth of hers. Makes him want to spout fucking love poems when his dick is hard in her mouth. 

“Maybe… I don’t want to come in your mouth.” He nuzzles her chin, watches as she looks somewhat dejected. 

He pulls her up to her feet, makes himself comfortable on the bed, nestling her between his legs. Trailing his hands over her toned belly, his hands dip lower until he cups her pussy over her jeans. “Maybe I want to come in here.” 

“You ok with that, Mikasa?” Almost inadvertently, she clenches her thighs. He can feel the warmth radiating from her. “Mmm-hmm.” 

“Gimme a kiss,” he murmurs. She bends down and kisses him, open-mouthed, kinda messy, the smell of smoke still heavy on her tongue. He plays with her tongue, sucking, pulling it into his mouth and savouring it. 

“So fucking sweet,” he tells her, “... you do whatever I ask for.” He unzips her jeans, pulling them down along with her panties. His gaze darkened salaciously as it dropped from her face to the place between her legs. “But you were gonna tell Jean we weren’t back together, right?” 

His fingers dip inside of her again. The second time that day that he found her wet and wanting. When he thinks about the fact that she was this riled up just from giving him head… He wanted to be inside her so badly. He pulled his fingers out of her and saw them glisten. She didn’t even need the fucking foreplay. 

She looked at him, conflicted. “But we’re not,” she mumbles. “You didn’t even want me here.” 

“And you didn’t want people to think we were together.” He sounded a bit crazy to his own ears, but he didn’t care. “Wanted people to think this didn’t belong to me?” And almost cruelly, he pinches her clit. 

Moaning, she almost falls forward, bracing herself on his shoulders. “Never,” she whispers shakily. 

“You’re soaked, Mikasa.” Lifting her by the hips, he throws her onto the bed beneath him. Without him asking, or prompting, she spreads her legs to accommodate him as he nestles himself between her legs. Grinding down onto her through his boxers, he says, “Fucking drenched.” His hand splays around her throat before he kisses her. Hard. “Because of me.” 

And before she can even say yes, that nobody else could ever have this effect on he slips his boxers down and sheathes himself inside her, fully, in one smooth motion. 

“I missed this,” she says hoarsely, as she adjusts to the size of him, as he fills her up slowly. “Missed you, Eren.” 

She says it so easily, so sweetly, he kind of envies her. Is this what it’s like to love without pride or anger or the debilitating insecurity of never being enough? Because how much ever she sighs his name when he fucks her, he can’t shake that little niggle at the bottom of his heart that tells him that he’s ruining a girl who’s far too good for him. So instead of saying it back he kisses her harder, swallowing her words, allowing only her moans when he talks dirty to her. When he tells her she’s so good, so good for one thing— and that’s taking his cock. 

He palms her breasts, reaching down to kiss them, pinching them as he sees her reaching the edge. She’s the prettiest thing as she comes, back arching off the bed, toes curling, mouth open as she gasps his name in pleasure. It’s his most favourite sound. And once she’s done, she whimpers, “You promised.” 

“What’d I promise you, baby?” And for a moment he’s worried. Because sometimes she feels so fucking good, he tells her things he can’t really reason, promises her the fucking world, and the moon if she wanted it. 

He thrusts in and out of her, a bit unsteady, his thrusts shallow, because she’s so fucking slick it feels like she’s going to milk the orgasm right out of him. 

“Said you were gonna cum inside of me,” she pants, fingers digging into his arm as she winced from the aftershocks of her orgasm.

He pulls her hair away from her face, sweaty and matted to her face. Kisses her by the side of her mouth because that’s all he can manage. He buries his face in the crook of her neck. “Not wearing a condom, Mikasa,” he breathes, so fucking close he’s nearly a second from blowing. 

“Don’t care, Eren. You promised–” 

“Gonna come, baby,” he groans, the most pathetic warning, because he before he even finishes that statement, he’s spilling into her. Thick and hot deep inside of her, making her feel dirty with the feeling of having him as deep inside of her as he possibly could be.

They lay together after that, his breaths harsh next to her mellow ones. As he slips outside of her, she can feel the essence of him drip down her crack, pooling onto the sheets. “You’re impossible, you know that,” he whispers, slipping one finger between her legs and pushing his cum back into her slit almost absent-mindedly. 

“Can’t say no to you, can’t get you out of my mind.” Tiredly he places a kiss on her forehead. She doesn’t say anything, still looking somewhat dazed. 

“You feeling okay?” He asks, concerned. She’d never smoked before and even though it was possibly too late to develop a conscience, the guilt had caught up with him. 

“Why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?” She looks at him sincerely, lips swollen from his kisses. “I can’t get you out of my mind either.” She snuggles into his arms, mumbles something into his skin. 

It sounds suspiciously like, “It’s because I love you.” And it could be so easy to say it back— the way Mikasa does, innocent, sweet, pure. But Eren isn’t like that. There’s nothing innocent about him— not his heart and not his body. Nothing sweet about the way he wanted her; a vicious, undeniable creature inside of him that kept him dishonest. 

So he just sighs, pretends he doesn’t hear it when he really does, when it sits inside of his heart like a heavy thing, and places a kiss on her shoulder, stroking her back until she drifts off to sleep. “It is a bad thing,” he murmurs, before his eyes fall shut. “Good girls like you deserve better.”

[mangoshorthand]

No Hard Feelings- [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Ch10

SUMMARY: You're Five's latest assassination target, but things don't go to plan and now he wants you as his fuckbuddy. Funny how what we want and what we need are rarely in line. (Five's physically aged up). Obvious smut warning but there's plot too, I swear! Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five- Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve

In this chapter: You wake up safe in Five's attic room...until you're discovered.

Smut and Five's siblings messing with him below. Proceed at your own risk.

Chapter Ten: Caught

When morning comes, you’re fully awoken by the sound of the door. You’ve been drifting pleasantly in and out of sleep, knowing where you are and enjoying the knowledge. The sheets smell of him and of plain-scented detergent. You vaguely registered him getting out of bed, his kiss on the cheek and whispered reassurance that he’d be back soon. 

You’re taking the opportunity to stretch out your limbs after being cramped together all night, (not that you were complaining), Five walks in. He’s barefooted, wearing his suit trousers and a white vest. To complete this vision, he’s carrying a loaded breakfast tray.

“Good morning, dear one.”

He’s positively chipper. He pours you both coffee and perches on the end of his bed. To your cup, he adds a drop of milk from a tiny jug. He hands you the coffee and a plate of three pancakes, each one has a blueberry and raspberry smiley-face.

You look up at him, touched.

“Just like my robot Mom used to make,” he grins.

There’s warmth in your stomach, a glow you feel all over as you look into his face- every inch a man in his sixties in his vest, but it contrasts wildly with his smooth skin and thick dark hair. His eyes are the only thing that unifies his appearance: a sweet, indeterminate old-young. 

You balance the pancakes onto your knee and grab his face between both of your hands. He has an instant to look startled before you pull him into downward bend and smack a kiss against his lips. 

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” he says, indistinctly - owing to the fact that his lips are slightly squished by your hands. 

You give him one last hearty kiss before releasing him, slightly discomposed. 

You tuck in, and he settles on the end of his bed, one leg crossed over the other and regarding you fondly over the rim of his coffee cup. 

As you eat your heart-meltingly-cute breakfast, you chat. The talk is inconsequential (about little somethings and nothings) but it's comfortable in a way you wouldn't have expected straight away. 

He mentions his nephew and, noticing his smile as he does, you press him. Five's more than happy to talk on this subject, clearly an uncle bursting with love and pride, but affecting to hide it behind a detached attitude. 

“Yeah, he’s a great kid. It’s surprising given his parents. He’s my brother Diego’s boy and, believe me, if brains were dynamite then his would be made of jello. Lila’s his Mom-  need I say more?” You take a sip of coffee as he continues.

“Yeah, I sometimes wonder whether Santi was switched at birth. He and I get on fine.”

You can’t stop yourself from smiling. His utterly transparent attempt to play down just how enamored he is with this child endears him to you even more. You didn’t think that were possible. You can’t help but push him.

“I’ll be excited to meet him sometime. Are you his favorite Uncle?”

“I don’t know,” he said, affecting indifference, “I guess…I guess we spend a bit more time together than some of the others…but that’s probably just because we live together…when I walk in the door he always comes running.”

You catch his eye, trying not to laugh at him. His mouth twitches and then you’re both laughing.

“You’re his favorite and you love it, don’t you?”

“I really love it,” he says through his gentle chuckles. 

Even when the talk naturally wanes, the little moments of silence between utterances aren't awkward: they're filled with the clinking of your cutlery against the plate and his quiet sips of coffee. Eventually, you place your plate on the bedside table.

“Did you eat?”

“I ate mine downstairs. Those were the neatest three I did."

“You’re so sweet.”

He smiles and then suddenly throws off the slight vulnerability, “And I’m intelligent, immensely powerful, and hot. What can I say? You’re a lucky woman.”

You look at him disapprovingly: “I would have kept that to myself if I knew it would make your ego even bigger.”

He grins. It’s that cocky, superior look that makes you want to punch as well as kiss him. Gradually, he comes down off this little ego-trip and becomes more serious.

“I'm the lucky one. Last night was…great. Yesterday morning I thought I’d never see you again and now we’re…” he trails off, shrugging and smiling a little incredulously. 

“What made you decide to come to my office?” 

You’re curious. You don’t bother asking how he knew where your office was. There are some things you just have to take for granted with Five and you're sure you wouldn't like the answer. You're too taken up in the flush of romance to want to spoil it with knowledge of an invasion of privacy. 

“Honestly? I meant the flowers to be the last you heard from me. But after I’d ordered them I just couldn’t let it go, couldn’t leave it alone. I’m just glad that dickhead Charlie showed up or you might not have come.”

“I’d have come.”

He smiles at you, perhaps not believing but happy to hear it nevertheless. You can hear movement from the floors below you.

“Do you want me to sneak down the fire-escape?”

“Of course not. Who said anything about sneaking out?”

“I thought your family…”

His eyebrow shoots up.

“Personally, I’m hoping we don’t leave this room for at least a few more hours. Your TV is being delivered around five PM and we have plenty of time before then.”

“I see now why you fed me,” you grin, “trying to keep my energy up?”

“Why else?” he smirks, his eyes hungry again.

He discards his coffee cup onto the desk. Moving back over to the foot of the bed, he lifts the sheets and ducks under, crawling towards you, laughing softly. You lift them at your end to get a peek of him as he moves towards you. He looks playful; mischievous. He tips you a wink before starting to stroke each of your calves, moving his hands up past your knees and around your thighs. His touch is whisper-light and makes you tingle.

You lay your head back and sigh contentedly. Gently, hidden beneath the blankets, he parts your legs, leans in and runs the tip of his tongue between your labia. It’s warm, wet and lithe.

You moan a little, shifting your weight so you can get a better angle. He deepens his licks, parting your outer lips with a finger and thumb. You lift your hips towards him as he swirls his tongue, hooding and unhooding your clit. Though he’s not as deft as with his fingers, it still makes you shiver; the feeling is exquisite.

“You taste good,” he murmurs into your pussy. Even the vibrations from his voice feel good. Your hand comes to the back of his head, urging him forward and grinding your hips up to meet his face.  You let out a low, salacious 'aah' as he licks, suckles and-

But then the door bangs open.

“Hey Five, I-”

You both jump violently. In pulling the sheets up to your chin, you reveal Five’s legs at the end of the bed. He pulls himself out from underneath, wiping his mouth hurriedly with the back of one hand

The large man in the doorway seems frozen in shock and disgust.

“Oh God.”

“LUTHER? GET. OUT.”

He doesn’t need telling twice. He backs up quickly, babbling apologies. He closes the door with a snap.

“I swear to God, I’m going to kill that idiot.”

You don’t talk, hands over your face; too ashamed and embarrassed to speak. Five turns his attention back to you, concerned, and places a reassuring hand on your blanketed knee.

“Hey, it’s OK. It’s not ideal- it’s not how or when I’d like you to meet the family. I’m sorry. We should have gone to yours or I should have got us a hotel room.”

When you still don’t look at him, he takes your wrists in his hands and kisses the fingers hiding you from his view. 

“Come on, dear one. It’s not so bad.”

From the door, a quiet knock.

“Stay OUT.”

Luther’s voice issues through the wood, “Family meeting…j-just you.”

Five groans, “Just what I need.”

He stands and reaches into the closet for a clean shirt.

“Just stay here.”

“But- ”

“It’s probably Academy stuff. Stay here.”

Shirt now buttoned and tucked, he strides to the door.

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

As soon as the door closes behind him, you get out of bed, hurriedly and haphazardly covering yourself. You grab your skirt and shrug on the shirt you yourself had taken from his shoulders last night. Then, feeling exposed without your bra, you grab the first thing you see, a deep blue blazer from the back of the door. You recognize it vaguely as Academy Uniform. It’s too small but it does the job, hiding your top half a little more than the shirt.

In the stairwell, you follow the sound of conversation. As you pass the second floor, you can hear a child singing and the patter of small, running footsteps from somewhere in the bowels of the building. When you reach the entrance hall, you recognise Lila’s voice as her wild laughter meets your ears:

“-he’s been shagging her for weeks. Trying to kill her got him horny or something.”

“Jesus, Five.” - a disapproving male voice you don’t recognize.

“It’s NONE of your business. Any of you!”

“Have you not considered the…optics?” - Luther again.

“I’m sorry, dearest brother, but I don’t remember a full-blown family meeting about optics when Diego started climbing up Lila like a sewer rat!”

“Five!” says the first voice, indignantly, just as Lila says:

“Too right he did. Right up there.”

You pop your head around the corner. Only one of the siblings notices you: a long-haired man standing on the edge of the group, leaning against a pillar. As his family bickers, the man gives you a tiny wink and a mischievous smile.

He looks from you, to Five (still engaged in bickering with Luther) and then back again, looking you briefly up and down. He nods, as if pleasantly surprised and then approaches you as if introducing himself at a party.

“Hey,” he says, not troubling to keep his voice low, “it’s Klaus- the ghostie one.  Loving the blazer, you look almost as good as I did.” 

He gives you a playful shove on the arm before continuing

“Why not sit down? I’d get comfortable if I were you. Pretty sure someone’s getting punched but we’re still working out who.”

As Klaus talks, he draws the attention of the rest of the group. All eyes fall upon you.

Five, spitting a portion of his boiling rage in your direction, snaps, “I told you to stay where I left you.”

“You don’t tell me to do anything,” you say, firmly.

“Except in the bedroom, am I right?” stage whispers Lila. The man beside her, (presumably Diego), raises a hand to his eyes, clearly disgusted but amused. Klaus giggles beside you.

Five turns to look at her and then back at you. He nods decisively and walks over to you and Klaus. He positions himself at your shoulder and turns to face his siblings.

“No, you’re right. Since this meeting is apparently about whether I’m allowed to eat your pussy, I think you count as a concerned party."

As his siblings cringe and Lila makes a retching noise,  Five places a supportive hand on your lower back and murmurs an apology. Though you felt yourself blush crimson at his words, his touch is comforting. Him moving to stand beside you is a statement that means something in this context. He introduces you to the group and then gestures as each person in turn.

“You’ve met Lila, pain in my ass,” (she waves) “my darling brothers, Diego, Viktor, Klaus and, of course, Luther. You’re lucky to have met him before I permanently disfigure his face. It's a shame because it’s one of this dumb fucker’s only assets...and this is Sloane, his long suffering wife.”

Luther puts out a placatory hand.

“Five, listen.  Do you think it’s appropriate to be…at least, just now? You look…a bit young for her," whispering the last few words.

“Luther,” pipes up Viktor, “He’s over sixty.”

Luther looks around, as if for support. He doesn’t find it, “-and isn’t that worse? She’s gotta be younger than us?”

"Honey-" begins Sloane.

“So are we here to vote on who’s the bigger nonce?” breaks in Lila, causing Klaus to giggle, “I vote Five.”

“Lila-” scolds Diego.

She talks over him, “Look, the heart wants what the heart wants and if she wants a twink-arsed DILF then who are we to judge?”

Five looks a little put out by this description of himself but nods in Lila's direction, thankful nevertheless for her support.

"Not that I think you're a DILF," Lila continues, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction, "just a dick."

“Thanks Lila,” he says, giving her a sarcastic smile.

Luther continues, ignoring this conversational sideroad: “Listen Five, it's not just about-”

“No.” Five speaks firmly, “What and who I do with this body is absolutely none of your business. Whatever way you slice it, we’re both adults. This is my chance to be happy- it's the only time I’ve felt happy that I messed up the jump...that makes the body feel like mine again.”

Luther looks pained and a little shamefaced. He makes as if to break in, but Five talks over him, looking at Viktor with an appeal.

“I'm starting to actually feel young again. Like...my outside and inside are...” he gestures vaguely at his body. Words fail him, but he looks at Viktor for understanding that he doubts any of the others could share.

Viktor smiles and reaches out a hand to brush Five’s arm. It's a small but significant moment between them. Five turns his eyes back to Luther.

“- And I couldn't give one single, solitary shit if you find that 'icky'. I’d have thought the man who wanted to fuck his sister for over twenty years might be a little more accepting.”

“Er- we’re not biological.” Luther says hurriedly upon catching your eye.

“Pretty gross though.” says Lila, with the reasonable air of someone chairing a debate. She's clearly enjoying this.

“Right now,” continues Five, “I’ve got the best chance for happiness I’m probably ever going to get. Nothing you say will make me give it up.” then, to you, “Let’s go.”

Back in his room, in silence, you get dressed properly, too mortified from the events to analyze them properly just yet.

“It’s probably best if I go.” 

He makes a noise of dejected acceptance and his hands go into his pockets.

“I’m sorry about all this. Luther’s not got a great deal between the ears, but he'll be fine once he’s got his head around it.”

“At least the others don’t agree,” you consider for a moment. “I think I like them. They love you a lot.”

He nods, “Well, we’re dysfunctional as hell but we’ve got each other’s backs…I’m glad you feel that way.”

He walks you to the front door, down the stairs and past his siblings. He’s followed by a little boy who grabs his leg and clamors to be picked up. Over the child’s babble, Five introduces him to you. This is the famous nephew: Lila and Diego’s son, Santiago. You try to talk to him, wanting to make a good impression but he only buries his head shyly into Five’s leg.

“Can I take you out again tonight? Dancing?"

“I’d really like that,” you smile.

From the living room, you hear Lila shout: “If you’re going dancing, we’re coming!”

“No thank you.” says Five.

“Uncle Luther and Auntie Sloane will babysit, won’t you guys?”

“Uh- sure.”

Five addresses Santi in a carrying voice: “Santi won’t need babysitters, will he? Because Mommy and Daddy aren’t going to ruin Uncle Five’s date, are they?”

As Santi giggles, you again lay a hand on Five’s arm.

“It’s fine with me.”

You really do like Lila. In her own way, she’s been supportive from the start.

“You hear that Uncle Five? Mummy and Daddy are coming and Uncle Five can get bent!” then, addressing you, Lila says, “We’ll pick you up at seven and have drinks. Wear something slutty.”

“Sure,” you call back.

“Seven it is,” says Five, accepting but clearly not enthused by this change of plan. Putting a protesting Santi down, he leans forward and gives you a chaste kiss, prompting a wolf whistle from someone behind him and an ‘Ewww’ from Santi.

As you leave, he puts his mouth close to your ear, “Make sure you do wear something slutty.”

As the door clicks closed, Five re-joins his siblings in the living room, sitting down on one of the fireside arm-chairs and picking up a book he left on the side table. He swings his legs up on the arm of the chair, feeling their stares but studiously ignoring them. After a minute or so, he can't bear it any longer and looks up. Klaus, Diego and Lila all look at him, wearing identical shit-eating grins. Even Viktor looks a little mischievous. 

"What?" says Five, irritably.

"Nothing." said Diego, his tone making it clear that there was something.

Klaus gives a humming giggle. On Five shooting him an admonitory glare over the top of his book, Klaus raises both hands in a gesture of surrender.

"She seems nice."

"Yes. At least I think so." he said, stiffly, returning his eyes to the book and turning a page rather ostentatiously. 

Sloane tucks her hair behind her ear:

"It was...um...nice to meet her."

"Yes," agrees Luther, gruffly, apparently trying to make up for his earlier lack of support, "you seem very...fond of each other."

Diego sniggers now, "Is that what you call what you saw, Luther, 'fond'?"

Five huffs, crossing his ankles. It's going to be a long day.

Tag list: (lmk if you want to join) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh,@nevbrooke-555

Masterpost

Alternatively, join me on A03.  Here is a link to the whole series

[chilapis]

hi i’m in love with genshin lapis can u tell me her lore can u tell me everything can i know i wanna know im so curious im sitting here w my notes eagerly awaiting ur response ✍️ i love u btw

hi, hello ! i love you too . also i read your tags & i think they absolutely can be friends. two of them (they’re going to beat people to death together)

do be warned that there is heavy projection because yeah ajax is like. with me-with me (real) (mentally ill) but also if i’m making a s/i to ship with him as well … tragically she will be suffering from the same deeply rooted character flaws as myself.

genshin lapis is . quite literally just a retired, immortal warlord who just wants a simple, domestic now.

beautiful woman who used to consider international peace a mere (unhelpful) suggestion is now trying to help people finalise their divorces and drafting contracts for business. she isn’t particularly affiliated with any region mostly because she isn’t, open about who she really is? so she’ll spend centuries in a nation, and then move to another every 60-70 years or so til she completes the rotation and then start all over; new name, new identity, new past, but the same face and the same profession. she loves liyue with all her heart but tends to stay there the least because one in every three people there are more than at-least 150 years old and she has gotten that “wait, don’t i fucking know you” look from a little too many people for her liking. she also avoids old people like the plague for this same reason because she doesn’t want to see the gears click in someone’s 90 year old grandma’s head.

except the thing is that she doesn’t need to be open because she makes it so painfully obvious. you know how most non-mortal or long-waiting characters in genshin will just shut up and entertain their mortal company’s false assumptions and beliefs? not her ! her pride is far too big for that. if you’re wrong she’ll tell you that you’re wrong and she knows because she was there (the realisation of what she said will hit her in exactly 10 minutes once her tangent is over. everyone who knows her falls into either one of two categories: either they think she is insane, or they think she is immortal. Both are correct.

i feel like despite being in the legal field she does not particularly. care about justice or law; in the sense that she doesn’t quite, believe in it existing anymore? she helps people out, don’t get me wrong; she’ll even do it pro-bono, free of charge, but her acts of kindness feel more like tossing a slab of meat to a caged animal than actually doing something nice, if that makes sense. there’s this, looming feeling of detachment from everyone and everything that she cannot shake off & she knows it’s because immortality has deeply affected her ability to relate to others or form connections but she’s helpless in the sense that she she doesn’t even know what a life beyond this would be like, and she’s not sure if she wants to. societies are moral-run now; there’s more rules, there are new concepts.

& then she meets ajax & ends up forming not only just an emotional attachment but one that is so intense and overwhelming that she doesn’t . know what the hell to do about it. she is freaking out because this is probably the first time she’s ever felt this way & he’s there & he’s talking to her & she doesn’t know what it is but she’s staring at him with such wide eyes. also gets super protective of him, even after finding out that he is literally the 11th harbinger. the relationship is what would get her back to her old spirits of um . killing and battling and conquering. except in the past she did it for the sake of it. she did it for the act itself. but now it’s for him — now she does it because she knows he wants power and honestly, she does too! she may have repressed it for a bit but she also wants to be on top of the food chain! just like how she used to before! & now they can do it together!

except there’s . one teeny tiny issue. she isn’t fond of the fatui; she didn’t mind before and even took on a few cases for some of them but after knowing ajax & loving ajax she will start kicking and screaming and unsheathing her sword the moment the tsaritsa is mentioned. she actually doesn’t even mind the harbingers all too much (except pulcinella) (she has beaten him up and will do so again DO NOT let this woman near a retirement house she is not afraid to fight senile white men) but the tsaritsa just . makes her blood boil for some reason. I think a part of her (her ego) might even lead her to wanting to play god herself but um. we’ll see about that

she LOVES a good spar though. chilapis love language (we fall deeper in love every time one of us backs the other into a corner). I feel like the first time she saw foul legacy, childe was expecting her to be afraid or nervous, and he thought she was because she kept looking away but no she was just un. Deeply flustered and appreciative of his form. after she finds out what a toll it takes on him though she refuses to ever let him use it when they're playfighting. ALSO SHE LOVES HIS FAMILY? she never had one herself so domestic comfort is such a new concept for her and it makes her so giddy. i feel like after meeting ajax she just tags along with him on his missions. her job? her affiliations? her home? who cares, she finally found what’s truly hers. she won't ever bring it up herself but if he told her to permanently move to shneznaya i think she would. in a heartbest. i feel like she’d be the first to bring up marriage though. childe may want to simply date at first, see how things pan out, but she’d be like dating …..? What is this “dating” you speak of ….. She is actually fully aware of modern concepts 60% of the time but she likes to play dumb. especially when he’s around.

[velvetporcelain]

dear diary, i am fucking insane.

and there’s nothing you can do about it but stare in awe.

hello. have I written into the great void today?

no instagram- violently happy. it’s a noticeable pattern. one day I think I will be able to detach myself from whatever I am chained to there. chains can be thrown over your shoulder and moved— the weight might get to you- but you aren’t chained down. besides I don’t mind the chains so much. Chains make me feel like u want to keep me , and I want you to keep me and much as you want to keep me.

while my opinions on men may be currently ratchet, I do appreciate how there is nothing that can’t be accomplished in the presence of a divine male. Some don’t even know they are divine, and I think that’s because men have a hard time believing it. But when a girl is in love, she means everything. don’t second guess it as fluffing. girls speak in the moment. Otherwise you know they will tell you to fuck off. Energy doesn’t lie, you will know when you’re in the presence of divine male or female. I like to believe that I can easily recognize divinity because I, myself, is divinity. Yes, I can easily choose to be this way, and my energy speaks for me. It’s touches for me. I know what is visually pleasing. Sometimes I underestimate the power of sight, seeing and visual stimulation. Nothing has to be extravagant for me , because I’m already extravagant, so I remain myself. Of course putting on a mask for those who remain a threat to my individuality and identity. Soft feminine with steel fucking boundaries. I can’t only thank the things that have taught me to weld.

I am wise because of my life experiences. Reward is of my choosing, no one else’s. Sometimes I am afraid to apply my wisdom. How will my new wisdom offend my current knowledge of life? How do I let go of that and embrace the new reality due to new wisdom? That integration is why we need depression. We need to recognize these new data downloads as such- and nothing more. It is not our enemy, rather an update- otherwise we would have never made it this far as a human race.

I want to try a cord cutting ceremony. It doesn’t have to be anything special - a simple and small amount of time devoted to intent. That is a “spell” — intent — I’ve said this. Does it really enchant the subconscious into moving different across the game board of reality? How much of a difference is it making if I’m sitting there waiting for it to make a difference? I cannot think differently and move the same, that is impossible for growth and terrible use of my time and energy. I just pick my energy up like a gigantic ballgown and move my two fucking feet. Presently, consciously.

I am happy. I am content with who I am. I really do love myself, and it’s time for the wisdom to start directing me to move differently— there are no signs just synchronicity. Everything is in sync for you already. We are random atoms moving at very high speed, whatever they are, will be. I know nothing.

swear to god I’m gonna bust out of this bitch like a butterfly 🦋

-and being female— we get to do that often and if men don’t understand the beauty in getting a front row seat to the true beauty of the women and how much they represent a delicate flower——then I don’t pity them, I punish them.

fin.

-x

[nick-close]

Glenn Close/Erin O'Neil for the ship bingo!

You also can just pick a less known/popular ship if you want too

I HAVE A PLAYLIST FOR THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. (Curse of curves is on it which is so cursed and I don’t know why but I’m not gonna take it off cuz it’s funny)

I love rare pairs tbh, that’s really probably the reason they appeal to me- but let me explain myself ok. First of all Glenn ships supreme always forever. Second? Sometimes you need a classic ‘charismatic trauma dump x woman who hates him’ ship. Something about seeing this big fucking idiot dumbass you’ve thought was annoying but now he’s playing guitar on your couch while you’re doing witchcraft… and there’s an awareness now that wasn’t THERE before.

This ship ONLY WORKS AFTER PRISON AND BEFORE DEATH THO !!!! Because Glenn has enough introspection to realize the shit he’s fucked up- so you get him like. Awkwardly thinking he SHOULD apologize for the whole. Not healing her thing. Now he’s aware of it and feels bad. But he isn’t sure how to bring it up. And it’s been so long. And he still doesn’t wanna harsh the vibes. He’s fucked around AND found out. Idk.. he’s lost everything and all he can do now is be depressed and then show surprising amounts of interest in her alchemy because ‘holy shit you can just do that???’

Plus he feels kinda detached from the other dads so it’s nice for him to have someone who frankly isn’t gonna push him on his issues or make it about the kids. She’s not trying to fix him! She knows it isn’t her problem and so does Glenn. This isn’t ‘competent woman can solve his trauma’ it’s ‘competent woman is not gonna put up with him unless he genuinely improves himself, but does give him a place to breathe between his efforts.’ Also they are both catty motherfuckers who’ll shit talk people. And Glenn knows how to listen.

Also I think people misinterpret the moment in the trial a lot when he gives her the drawing. But he was backing her the fuck up like ‘I was trying to burn down oakvale like u wanted B)’ which I think is fun. Also Glenn doesn’t eat vegetables unless they’re fried so. W. Overall good, sorry for my paragraphs.