#i just feel like. i got the short end of the stick somewhat

[milkweedman]

It's really something to hear my sister talk about how much moving was a mistake. Given that she is the only one who wanted to move and it was supposed to decrease her commute which it did not at all, and also cost me my entire life savings and a semi functioning knee. Like wow. It was a mistake you say. That's crazy bro. If only someone had told you this multiple times and tried to talk you out of it. Fucking alas.

[hwaightme]

My star

(masterlist)

⭐ pairing: bf!idol!seonghwa x gn!reader ⭐ genre: comfort, fluff, established long-term relationship, long distance ⭐ summary: many miles might separate you, but they mean nothing when your heart is with him, and his heart is with you. ⭐ wordcount: 2.3k total ⭐ warnings/tags: sfw, semi-edited, horrifically self-indulgent, longing/missing someone, matchy-matchy type of couple, balanced relationship, safe spaces, communication, heart eyes, stress/tiredness, rumination, unconditional love, comfort, being vulnerable, odd sleep patterns, lmk if anything else ⭐ taglist: at the bottom of the fic ⭐ a/n: seonghwa <3 i hope this brings comfort to anyone who reads <3 reblogs, thoughts and feelings appreciated. much love!

Some days were easier than others. Wrapped up in the hustle and bustle, sinking into meetings, letting yourself get carried away by projects. Some days it was easier to forget, at least for a moment, the hollowness that persecuted you with ever-growing vigour. Concealing sentimentality and melancholia, you skillfully navigated your life until you could hide away, and in the comfort of your own, empty apartment, allowed yourself to curl up into a ball in your bed and wonder why it was that some days were like the flutter of a butterfly’s wings, while others, like a viscous putrid tar.

Today was one of those days. On edge, impatient and begging for a break, you stumbled over yourself as you counted down the seconds until you could be painfully alone. The hurt had become your best friend amidst all the changes, and you wanted nothing more than to drown in it when the times got tough. Accumulating short ends of a variety of sticks even when things were going well, you were caged in the creativity of your turbulent mind. You did not need enemies, being your own best one. 

Normally, coming home would be enough. It just so happened that you had the cure, the relief, the peace, who would stand and wait for you with open arms. You called yourself blessed - you well and truly were. In a world that was stuffed with defeat and enemies, you had someone who was always on your team. Without words, without explanation, you would be soothed. There was no need to ever dwell on complexities and tear into negativities - they all evaporated after the keeper of your heart, your starlight would embrace you. But when only the echo bouncing off the walls was there to greet your shattered presence, whatever had been gnawing at your defences would draw blood and turn into a brutal torturer.

You slid off your shoes, moving exclusively by inertia left over from powering through your commute. After washing your hands, you decided to forgo the kitchen, ambling towards the bedroom that you had gotten so used to sharing. Ghostly, dim, exhausted interiors that would glow whenever he was around. You touched the switch on the floor lamp, hesitating for a second before remembering what you had been told before - if your own sun wasn’t shining too bright, turn on all the bulbs around you until you believed the same could be done to you. Was the room always this dark?

It was impossible to say when you fell asleep. At some point after changing out of your office wear and into your pyjamas, which consisted of a half-hearted combination of tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt, along with a hoodie which your boyfriend had made a point to leave for you, you ended up crawling onto the bed, only just managing to lift the sheets and snuggling under into a somewhat comforting huddle of cotton before darkness enveloped you. Was Seonghwa asleep? Was he awake? Has he been eating well, working and relaxing in balance? Questions flooded your mind as your bleary eyes attempted to blink away your sleepiness. At this point, you were not quite sure if it was a mere physical state, the heaviness of your eyelids having become near-chronic.

He was out there, under the same sky, seeing it in slightly different shades, but he was out there. Was he lonely too? Hopefully no negative thoughts plagued him. Seonghwa deserved better. But… you could not help but listen to the little selfish worm in your mind - did he miss you? You could not deny that a part of you did long for the sensation of being missed by him. A lot. You clenched the edges of your, or technically his, sleeves and sighed. Pulling the hood over your head, you shut your eyes, trying to picture the last time you embraced the love of your life. How warm it had been. How safe. Washing away all the anxiety, all the pins and needles of stagnancy that came with unwelcome solitude. How he would say he was proud of you, and how you would be able to sit with him and listen to him talk about his day, running a hand through his soft, tousled locks. You have always been a listener. But what was there to listen to now, except the roaring waves of rumination?

What time was it where Seonghwa was? One quick unlock of the phone that you fished out from under the covers brought you the dual clock that you put on your home screen, and along with it, the realisation that you had slept through the entire evening, and through the majority of the night. Again. He was probably settling down, lying on his bed in the hotel room and playing Animal Crossing. Or did he find something else? Did he have the time and energy to play? Or perhaps there was another schedule that had crept up on your boyfriend out of the blue… You mused in total silence while inspecting the background you had set - a picture from a date some weeks ago. Right before work summoned him to leave once more, and you were left standing by the window, watching as his silver suitcase disappeared in the back of a minivan. Rolling over onto your back, your eyes travelled to the skylight - another companion that attempted to soothe your loud mind with vistas and ever changing colour palettes of the universe above. The skies had been clear yesterday, and you wished that it was the case over there, where he was, too.

Your fingers moved on their own accord, opening the messaging app you two preferred to use, flicking through his and your barrage of back and forth texts, videos, photos, voice messages… a little life in the digital space. It would be a lie if you said there was little communication. In fact, if anything, you knew almost all the details about his activities, him gushing to you about whatever he could, and smiling sheepishly when something had to be kept a business secret. You were proud of him, most certainly. If only you could say this face to face. Then, for a short while, nothing would exist except you, him and endless conversation about everything and nothing as you would be entangled in one another, cuddling on the couch as some drama you two picked would be inevitably forgotten. A new message startled you out of your dream, immediately followed by another, and another that made you scroll all the way back.

> i just found your favourite ice cream at a store here!!!

> oh?

> love i can see you are in chat… are you awake :(((

With a quick turn, you stretched and flicked on the lamp on the bedside table, deeming the still-on floor lamp no longer sufficient. Wriggling upwards so you could hold your phone vertically, you pondered how you could write a message that did not sound too desperate. You were perfectly well aware that Seonghwa did not mind a little bit of clinginess - in fact, you had had a dedicated conversation early on in your relationship about affection and he had reassured you numerous times that, especially when on tour, he adored, and reciprocated that fondness and longing. But nonetheless, the annoying bugs that lived in your head and littered it with doubt and anxiety made you want to pull back and pretend like you were unaffected. And so, you kept on writing, and deleting. Writing and deleting. Until Seonghwa took the lead and messaged you again.

> call?

> i’m in my room

> [my star <3 sent 1 image]

The ghost of a smile danced over your lips when the picture loaded - an adorable duck pout, face incredibly close to the camera, but still giving enough space for you to be able to spot the backdrop - a painting, completed in spectacularly bland tones, that served as a prime example of how the hotel where your boyfriend was staying favoured ‘stock footage’-core, if you were to borrow his words. Your gaze could not leave the picture. Your silly, precious Seonghwa, pretty inside and out. On its own accord, your hand moved upwards until it hit ‘video call’, and simultaneously ignited a sudden nervousness. What if now was not really a good time? What if Seonghwa was tired and your less than cheerful disposition would only weigh him down?

“Hello lovely… ah, I see we are matching- wait let me make the light brighter-” you watched as he played with a remote, clicking through and checking his appearance on the screen until he gave a victorious giggle, and pointed at the hoodie, “see?”

“You look so cute and cosy, Hwa… And hello to you too,” you mumbled, settling into a more relaxed position.

“I should be saying that to you, you are literally huddled in bed…”

“Join me,” you suggested, half joking, half hoping that he would play along. Clearly you were long past playing guessing games with each other, as almost instantly, Seonghwa was rushing to his bed, rolling into a burrito until only the top half of his face was peeking out. For the first time in a while, you chuckled. 

“You come here often?” he wiggled his eyebrows before squishing his face into the pillow, only to turn it back to you again, a mixture of worry and love in his eyes, “...can’t sleep, angel?”

“Hmm… if anything I might have just accidentally slept too much.”

“Ah…” both of you knew all the reasons for your behaviour. The same exact ones that prompted your boyfriend to overfill his suitcase with trinkets and clothes that he could sense you would like, or that reminded him of you. Understanding washed over you both as you quietly regarded one another through the phone screens. In moments like these, the many miles that divided you appeared so miniscule that it was agonising.

It was impossible to reach out and brush back the strand of hair that was threatening to poke his eye. It was impossible to fall into a dreamless slumber while listening to his calm, soothing heartbeat. It was impossible to gingerly squeeze his hand - an unspoken ‘I love you’, while floating in his starry eyes. But nothing in the world could take away the sincerity. The promises that turned into actions. This was your person, and you were his. As you studied Seonghwa, you felt the frustration, the pent up rage, the fatigue start to evaporate, leaving behind only a soft cloudlike fuzziness. A crush that would never go away, no matter how many years you would be together. He was your clarity, and with him it was the easiest thing in the universe to look at your troubles once again and see that you could take them on. No challenge on your path could hurt you. Not when he made you feel invincible, and even just by being present, reminded you of how you were simply priceless.

“So… tell me about the ice cream,” you tried, your voice sounding a little raspy. Seonghwa’s face, which had previously been painted over with concern, turned into the brightest sunlight. He beamed, and launched into a detailed recollection of what to anyone else would be beyond mundane. Not to you. Never to you. Never about your lovely star.

As he moved just a fraction, forcing the hoodie to glide forwards and expose more of his collarbones, you noticed that he was wearing the necklace you had gotten together - a two-piece set. Instinctively, your hand moved to feel for the chain that adorned your own neck. Two lego pieces that when put together formed a heart. The epitome of sickeningly sweet couple cooing, but it ended up being the best representation of you both. Unbeknownst to yourself you smiled even wider as the piece grew more prominent against his skin whenever it caught the light that enveloped his room in a warm optical lullaby. The change in your expression evidently did not go unnoticed, as Seonghwa paused, and with a light smirk, sat up to let the light cast wondrous shadows on his features. It was probably silly, how deep you had fallen for him, and how obvious it was, no matter what you did and how you acted. All he had to do was turn his head or say the word, and you would come running all these thousand miles to do anything at all. Really, what was stopping you?

Maybe the fact that someone had to water your boyfriend's beloved pet moss. Or that you had committed yourself to dusting and keeping the apartment pristine despite not being fond of the activity. Or, well, your own life, of course. If anything, your boyfriend would be most distressed if you gave up on yourself. As Seonghwa continued his monologue, now having moved onto discussing the next group activities and travels, you realised you had much to do. Much to work and live for. Distance or not, you were with him. And the least you could do was to balance and maintain a smitten hopefulness. With a partner like Seonghwa, who stopped to check the countdown on his phone to announce that it was only ‘a week, five days, and sixteen hours’ until he would take you to one of the many restaurants he had marked out in the city, you were safe to love hard. Forever and always. And could, in fact, live easy, knowing that while your heart was out there conquering arena after arena, stadium after stadium, his heart was right here with you. Your star with whom you could fearlessly conquer the dark, and celebrate the shimmering dots of happiness that decorated your cosmic canvas. Your story. You and him.

⭐ perma-taglist: @shakalakaboomboo @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @maddkitt @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy @my-loves-my-life @http-gyu

enjoyed? do consider reblogging <3 thank you, all the love <3

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[libraryofgage]

Please write for 42. Maybe it could be something dealing with Steve overhearing something he shouldn't have,maybe something the kids say, or Eddie says to someone. Whatever it is it makes him feel like shit. He talks to Eddie, or Robin (or both!) about how much he's changed over the past few years and how he didn't end up being the person everyone thought he'd be, but after what hes overheard he's crying because even though he did all he could he feels lonelier than ever.

Anon, I love you

Prompt 42 for this prompt list!

“Who’s laughing now?”

“…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.” 

I didn't use these quotes exactly, but I came close. It still fits them, though lmao

---

"I should be right back," Steve says, throwing open the van door before hopping out. The moment it closes, Eddie blasts the heavy metal he usually can't because of Steve's sensitive ears. Steve snorts with amusement and heads towards the diner, the smell of fried food and grilling beef overwhelming him the moment he opens the door.

Steve heads up to the counter, flashing a charming smile at Paula, a woman who's been working at the diner longer than Steve has been alive. "We got your usual almost ready, sugar," she tells him, returning the smile as she grabs a receipt from the turning rack and leads him over to the register.

It's a Friday night, which means the diner is bursting with teenagers hanging out in groups or trying to have a romantic date. Steve doesn't usually see anyone he feels like greeting when he picks up food, but a quick sweep this time reveals a table where Jonathan, Argyle, Nancy, Mike, and Will are sitting. Their table is close to the bar, but none of them seem to have noticed Steve because of their conversation, which is just fine with him.

If he gets dragged into a conversation, he might take too long and make Eddie worry. And if Eddie worries, he'll come bursting into the diner, and there are too many people in here that still blame him for...well, everything, for that to be safe.

"Your total is gonna be $12.93," Paula says, watching as Steve distractedly pulls a twenty from his wallet.

"Keep the change. I'll be waiting over there," he says, nodding to a bar stool somewhat close to where his friends are sitting. He then slides into said stool, leaning on the counter and trying to ignore how sticky it is.

He's close enough now to hear the tail-end of Argyle saying, "--eems like such a nice dude, though."

Mike snorts at him. "You didn't know Steve when he was dating Nancy," he points out.

Oh. They're...talking about him. Steve gets the feeling he should walk away, but he also feels stuck in the stool.

"He wasn't that bad," Nancy says. Silence follows her words, and Steve can imagine the looks she's getting. "Okay, yeah, he was an asshole."

"He smashed my camera," Jonathan says, and Steve wonders if he's imagining a trace of bitterness in his voice.

Here's the thing: Steve apologized for smashing the camera (though, he feels it was still justified) and got Jonathan a new one. A fancy, new one. But it doesn't sound like Jonathan is going to include that detail, too.

"He's a lot better now, though," Will says, and Steve wants to get him a new set of dice for trying to stick up for him.

He then wants to cry and maybe break something when he hears Jonathan and Mike snort and bark out a short laugh.

Steve feels himself grow tense as Nancy and Jonathan regale Argyle with how shitty he was in high school. He keeps waiting for one of the kids to refute or bring up how he's changed, but Mike only adds to it all while Will stays quiet, probably unwilling to get himself laughed at again (not that Steve blames him, honestly).

None of them actually point out how Steve's changed. They laugh at how much of a douchebag he was in high school, and Jonathan tells Argyle to "watch out for King Steve coming through" now that nothing is trying to kill them again.

And Steve feels sick to his stomach. Has...has he not actually changed? Is he really the same King Steve he was in high school? Is he still that asshole who didn't give a shit about others because he was just trying to survive himself, no matter who it hurt? Is this how everyone sees him?

"All right, sugar. Here's your cheeseburgers," Paula says, placing a bag in front of him and jerking him out of his thoughts. "One without tomato but with extra ketchup, and the other with grilled onions."

Steve blinks and smiles at Paula again. "Thanks. Same time next week?"

He waits to see Paula's amused smile and playfully dismissive wave before grabbing the bag and practically running out of the restaurant. He doesn't know if it's good or bad that nobody at the table seems to have noticed his presence or departure.

Steve jerks the door to the van open, not waiting for Eddie to turn the music down before hopping in and slamming it shut. He silently pulls on his seatbelt, holds the food in his lap, and stares at the glove compartment.

"Uh, you okay, Stevie?" Eddie asks, his hand lingering on the volume dial.

"I don't wanna talk about it here," Steve says. Because he's going to talk about it with Eddie, the only other person he trusts to be honest with him is Robin. But this is date night for him and Eddie, and even when he's drowning in self-doubt, Steve doesn't want anyone else to interrupt their date night.

Thankfully, Eddie just nods. "Okay, sweetheart," he says, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Steve doesn't say a word the whole drive, too consumed by forcing himself to focus on Eddie's hand on his thigh. There's a warmth that he feels through the fabric, grounding him and keeping his brain from spiraling too far.

When they finally park (a secluded area close enough to the local make-out spot to still see the romantic stars in the sky without getting caught by anyone else) Eddie turns to Steve and softly asks, "Wanna move to the back, sweetheart?"

Steve grips the bag in his lap tighter, takes a deep breath, and looks at Eddie. He feels a little bad for ignoring the question, but he can't help his worries and fears bubbling out now that they've stopped driving. "I've changed, right? Since high school?"

Eddie blinks, caught off guard by the sudden question. But then he nods. "Yeah, Stevie, you've definitely changed."

"Jonathan and Nancy were in the diner with Argyle, Mike, and Will," Steve says, trying and failing to seem more nonchalant by unbuckling himself and moving to the couch that barely fits in the back of the van. Eddie follows, sitting closer than necessary to eat the burger Steve hands to him. "They were...talking about me. High school me. King Steve. And Jonathan told Argyle to be wary of me. Do they really think I'm the same person?"

"Stevie-"

Steve doesn't let Eddie get far. He's too wrapped up in what happened, too consumed by self-doubt and guilt and the wish that he'd said something to them. His chest feels tight, he feels like the world is going to cave in on him, and the only thing keeping him steady is the way Eddie puts down his burger and pulls Steve into his lap. "And the worst part is that they were laughing. Will tried saying that I was better now, and they fucking laughed. Like it was ridiculous. Like I could never change.

"And I just....I wish I'd said something. I could have ruined their night so fucking easily, Eds. I could have turned around and asked if they always talked shit behind the backs of people who saved them. I could have asked if Jonathan didn't like the replacement camera I got him, or if he still used it to sneak photos of Nancy."

"Is that why you broke his camera? Fuck, I don't blame you."

Steve manages a slight smile for Eddie. "Thanks. I...I don't know. For all I've changed, it would have been so easy to just turn around and be who they thought I still was. And then I would've torn them down to the size of ants. And...and...I wish I had but I don't but I do, so I could've ended it with who's laughing now?"

Steve's chest feels a little looser, and that's a fucking relief, but then he feels Eddie's hand cradling his cheek. "Well, it's definitely not you, sweetheart. Your crying."

Oh. Eddie is right. He is crying. Steve hastily wipes at the tears before just giving up and leaning into Eddie's touch. "Sorry," he mumbles.

"Don't apologize. I almost wish you had done it. And that I'd been there to see it."

"No, you don’t."

Eddie grins, pulling Steve closer so they're chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart. "Yeah, I do. I love when you get bitchy, sweetheart. Especially when it means we can be bitchy together."

Steve blinks, and he can't help laughing. The words were simple, but they still managed to erase all the doubt and some of the hurt. He still probably needs a few days before he can actually look at Jonathan or Nancy or Mike again, but he doesn't feel so immediately devastated.

"Somehow, that was the perfect thing to say," he tells Eddie, closing the distance between them to kiss his lips, getting a hint of ketchup on his tongue.

"Perfect enough to earn me some fun?" Eddie asks, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Steve sighs dramatically, pretends to think about it as he actually laments that their burgers will get cold, and then pushes Eddie down on the couch.

[dezmolad]

ES Starscream: What they took from him (last minute!)

I can't stop thinking about season 2 of Earthspark so I'm at it again. Overall I was mostly unbothered to the very last 10 minutes of the last episode, this last minutes made me so mad it's unbelievable. So what I'm gonna do now is list all the things that got screwed up in this short time, particulary how Starscream character got absolutely butchered.

Without further ado, that's the list: > Starscream lost any agenda. His agenda in this season wasn't good anyway ofc, but it was ANYTHING at the end of final episode he's just. gone. and that's it woohoo. > Starscream lost his respect among the Decepticons. It was interesting for me how we could see how obedient towards him they were, a bit in season 1 but mostly in season 2. Even Shockwave didn't dare to question him most of the time. I was waiting to discover why is that so. Maybe they knew he was capable of pulling a stunt like the one he did at the end of season 2 so far? But yea we will never know bc noone from Decepticons is going to stick around him now, and now Shockwave is the leader so gap has been filled. so fun. > He also lost his mission, his care for anything! cyberforming Earth was ment to serve the Decepticons, his fellow cybertronians. But first in the dialogue with Hashtag Starscream says he's doing it just for himself and then he just. Lost his mind i guess. > Speaking of Hashtag. Starscream in this dialogue with her twists his own words from "What Dwells Within" from season one. His words coming from genuine care we saw developing in that episode here are shown as somehow mischievious, as some stupid foreshadowing. Its completely insane how the show retrospectively is erasing everything that could make Starscream redeemable later on. Awful, absolutely awful. > Hashtag also says that his actions will make him worse than Megatron, and he accepts that. The intention of this specific line is super clear. It makes his relationship in simplistic reality of the cartoon somewhat less of a problem. Starscream is bad right, even worse than Megatron, so why bother. I fear that's the way this series closes the problem of Megatron's and Starscream's relationship, expecially with how earlier on in season 2 Megatron is framed as reasonable and the one trying to speak to him before the fight. I'm afraid we will never hear anything about them that makes sense in this show. And it's just so disappointing. > Starscream murdering two children (that's what Chaos Terrans are ok) which is. Oh my god. It's such a cheap move to make the character unredeemable. Not to mention how deaths of Aftermath and Spitfire were kiiiiiinda convenient for our protagonists. "uh oh how sad they are dead how could you Starscream :(((((( ok now lets get the Emberstone that is now complete thanks to them being dead :))))))" > About that scene. I hate it from different reason, too. Because the way Starscream treated Chaos Terrans, expecially Spitfire was a beacon of hope for me in this season. The way he was never violent towards them (even Breakdown kicked Aftermath! And Starscream never did anything like that, even when Twitch in Spitfire's body made a mess and ruined the equipment!). The way we could kinda see him getting closer with Spitfire, in the way that reminded me how kind he could be for Hashtag in season 1. And all of this absolutely ruined, none of this was relevant.

So that's all I've gathered, if you have something more feel free to add your observations! Starscream's character in season 1 is very dear to me, even if "What Dwells Within" isn't perfect I still loved it so I feel personally robbed by season 2.

[bigmpregnm]

Movie Night - Part 2

[Story Collection] | [Part 1] [●] [Part 3]

With a playful smile, Hunter nodded, and I helped him take the apron off. I loved seeing his big body in its full glory, and with each passing day, there was more of him to admire. Taking the bowl of popcorn from his hands, I grabbed his hand to lead him to our dining table. On our way there, I started taking my shirt off, and even though Hunter was behind me and I couldn’t see his face, I could feel his lust and desire for my muscles.

Things between us had been developing strangely nicely. We were only friends, or at least, that’s what we told ourselves. Part of me had considered making it official because it was clear we were more than just friends. However, a part of me still wanted to remain friends with Hunter. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him, but rather, I wanted to avoid complicating our friendship.

“Ryan, slow down. I’m kinda heavy, and I can barely keep up with your pace,” Hunter said, and I excitedly turned back to him. The fact that a short walk inside our apartment was a challenging task for him was a major turn-on for me.

“Sorry buddy, you know I get kinda excited about movie night, and I want you to see all the food I brought for you… I mean, for us,” I replied as Hunter placed his free hand on his lower back, making his big belly stick out even farther in front of him.

“Yeah, right. We both know I’ll end up eating most, if not all, of it,” Hunter laughed, and I smiled at him. He already knew how much I loved it when he surrendered to my desires, which aligned perfectly with his constant hunger and unstoppable growth.

Just a few steps ahead of us, the dining table was full of bags of food. I knew Hunter’s favorites very well, so I always brought the things that would make him eat the most. He had a special liking for cheeseburgers and french fries, so I had a few dozen burgers and tons of fries for both of us. Apart from that, some donuts for dessert since the sweets always got him in the mood for some wild sex. It was strange, but I knew better than to deny him what he wanted.

I took part of the food out and placed it on the table for him to see the amount I wanted him to eat. I showed him the burgers, french fries, and donuts, and I could see his eyes shining bright in excitement. He rubbed his belly in anticipation of what was about to come. He came closer to me, and even with his big belly in the way, he kissed my cheek. He always did that to say thank you. I had already learned his nonverbal ways to communicate, so I knew he was super excited.

“What do you say if you sit on the couch, and I’ll bring this all for us to enjoy? I’ll let you pick the movie if you promise me all this food will be gone before the movie finishes,” I said and winked at him, already knowing what he would answer.

“You have a deal, mister,” he kissed my cheek again, and he started waddling to our living room. It still felt somewhat strange when he kissed me or when I kissed him, but it felt nice at the same time. I guess we weren’t only friends after all.

I couldn’t take my eyes off his ass as he walked away. I couldn’t help but get hard whenever we played this horny game, which was happening quite frequently. My cock got hard as Hunter waddled away, prompting me to take my clothes off, and my cock was finally able to stand at full mast. I sighed in relief.

Some specific aspects of Hunter’s appearance were turning me on a lot, and the more I looked at him, the more I convinced myself that it would be a super special night. I noticed that Hunter’s waddling was more pronounced than ever before, or perhaps it was due to his undeniably wider hips. It was clear he couldn’t walk normally, but given the size and weight of his big belly and his huge ass, it was to be expected. It was just a result of his heavy body being so… heavy.

Part of me wanted to skip the movie and the food and jump straight to fucking him because another detail caught my attention and turned me on even more. With each step he took, a soft moan escaped his mouth, and I was sure he didn’t even notice. It was like his own body was shouting out, both to him and to me, that he was getting way too big. Those moans, however, sounded so sexy that I could barely contain myself.

“Don’t leave me waiting for too long. I’m starving,” Hunter said as he reached the couch and plopped down heavily. I loved when he did that because it proved that he couldn’t handle how heavy he was getting.

“I’m on my way, big guy,” I replied, grabbing the bags of burgers and bringing them over to the couch.

Hunter was frantically rubbing his belly, but his face showed some discomfort. Considering his size and the amount of food I knew he had eaten, it was to be expected. However, I couldn’t help but get a little bit concerned when I handed him the bags of french fries, and suddenly, Hunter gritted his teeth. He was almost clutching his belly, and his breathing showed he felt some pain. Even then, he forced a weak smile to reassure me that he was okay.

“Told you. I’ve been having cramps all day, but they come and go suddenly. I’ll be alright,” Hunter said as the cramp passed, and he tried to get comfortable again. I nodded in response, but deep down, I knew the cramps weren’t that normal.

“If you say so, but if you’re too full, we can leave all the food for tomorrow,” I replied as I sat beside him on the couch. He smiled at me and, without saying a word, took a burger out of the bag and quickly unwrapped it. I smiled as he took a big bite of the burger and chewed with evident starve. The burger was gone in just a few seconds as he rubbed his tight belly.

I looked at his midsection for a while and noticed it was heaving up and down more than ever before. It was strange but so wonderful that I couldn’t stop looking at it. The more I looked at it, the more it looked like it moved. Hunter had been complaining about an annoying gas problem for a few months, so I thought the movement was related to that.

Hunter took another burger out of the bag and used the remote to search for a movie while devouring the second burger like it was nothing. With one hand busy with the remote and the other with the burger, I reached for his big belly to rub it. I was amazed by the sensation of his skin under my palm, which had stretched unbelievably taut over the past few months. What surprised me the most was that it didn’t matter how full and bloated Hunter looked; he always wanted more.

While I rubbed his belly and he kept eating burger after burger, accompanied by some french fries, memories of a special night flooded my mind. After the first time we had sex, the two of us didn’t do it again for 4 months. Even though we hadn’t fucked again after that night, we were already getting closer because we rarely wore clothes in front of each other.

On that particular night, when I arrived home from work, I found Hunter looking at his reflection in a full-length mirror he had in his bedroom. He stood sideways in front of the mirror, proudly holding his belly. While I had noticed his weight gain, it was only at that moment that I finally realized how big he was getting. His once-defined abs were gone, replaced by a round belly that made him look incredibly hot. He was completely entranced in his self-reflection while holding his belly, so he didn’t notice I was getting closer until I was right behind him, with my bulge pressing against his ass. I made sure he could feel my hard cock.

Hunter couldn’t contain a soft moan as we both rubbed his belly. It was getting pretty round, and I was amazed because it was getting so firm. While most of his body was getting fatter, which meant it was softer, his belly was different. My hands traveled up to caress Hunter’s pecs, which felt fuller than before. As soon as my hands touched around his nipples, he let out a deep gasp. He said that his nipples were really sensitive and unable to contain myself, I continued teasing his chest to hear him gasp and moan some more. Those sounds were like music to my ears.

As I continued to caress Hunter’s soft pecs, his hands remained on his belly, rubbing it in big circles. I was getting really horny, and Hunter was panting. Part of my mind was shouting that we were just friends and what we were doing wasn’t right. However, the more Hunter moaned and gasped, the more my horny thoughts took over me, making me long for more. Then, three words escaped Hunter’s mouth, igniting new levels of lust within me.

“Please, fuck me,” he said, and in a blink, my clothes were off. We moved to his bed, where he lay on his back, and I positioned myself on top of him. He looked so hot. His thicker body was perfect, and as I passionately and vigorously fucked him that night, I realized our friendship would never be the same again. That second time was even better than the first, and it initiated a new stage in our friendship because we started fucking frequently.

I smiled as I remembered that fantastic night when we had multiple rounds of the most mind-blowing sex I had ever experienced. Hunter was so hot back then, but now, sitting next to him on the couch, witnessing how much bigger he had gotten, I could only think about fucking him over and over again. However, my fantasy was cut when I felt a strong movement coming from his belly, making Hunter groan in discomfort.

I looked at him in concern, and even though the movement had been strong, Hunter continued eating as if nothing had happened. His flushed face and loud groans evidenced he had felt the movement, but he acted as if it was normal. Hunter was breathing heavily and constantly readjusting his heavy body on the couch, clearly uncomfortable. I knew something was wrong, but I remained silent because he acted like everything was fine.

“Buddy, what about an old comedy? Have you ever seen ‘Junior’ with Arnold Schwarzenegger? It’s a great move,” He suggested, pressing play. I wasn’t very familiar with that film, but I knew what it was about, and I could never resist a big man with a belly.

“Sure, sounds good,” I replied, but my eyes remained fixed on Hunter’s body instead of the TV. “Dude, are you okay? You look uncomfortable,” I asked as Hunter grabbed a handful of french fries and brought them to his mouth. I loved watching him fill his mouth to the brim, so I could only smile as he chewed and swallowed.

“I’m fine. I’m just really full, but I’m so hungry at the same t…” He was interrupted by his belly shaking violently again, and this time, Hunter couldn’t pretend to be good. He gritted his teeth again and clutched his belly while my hand was still on it. It felt strange because it wasn’t just movement from within but his skin suddenly getting so incredibly taut that I feared it would tear.

“Hunter, are you okay? Hey… talk to me,” I said as his tense body slowly relaxed. Hunter was sweating and as red as a tomato. I knew something was wrong, and as horny as I was, I knew our plans for the night were over. “I’ll call 911. Hold on for a second,” I added, attempting to stand up and get my phone, but he grabbed my hand and made me stay.

“No, no. I’m fine. It was just a really strong cramp. Just stay by my side. The belly rubs felt great, and if you could give my pecs a good massage, I’d appreciate it,” Hunter said as he leaned back again and caught his breath. He just took another burger and bit into it like he hadn’t eaten in days.

I was speechless because even though I knew something wasn’t right, he kept eating like nothing had happened. His face showed a lot of discomfort, and his belly was still shaking, not that hard, though. He smiled weakly at me, and even though I was concerned, I obeyed him and got my hand on his pecs. They felt incredibly full and plump. They had been soft and kinda saggy when he started gaining weight, but now they felt plump and full. It was a weird feeling, just like his belly, but I loved to massage his big pecs.

“Hunter, maybe we should just go to bed. You don’t have to eat this all,” I said, and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m fine. Also, there’s only one burger left. I finished the fries too, so you better get those donuts ready for me, big stud,” Hunter said, sounding really cool about everything but sweating even more than before. His breathing was getting heavy again. I continued massaging his pecs, occasionally teasing his nipples. I knew he loved whenever I played with his nipples, and despite my concern for him, I really wanted him to enjoy my touching.

Hunter finally finished devouring the 36th burger a few seconds later, and his belly looked so incredibly round and full that I wondered how it hadn’t exploded yet. His skin glistened from being stretched so tightly. It was drum-tight. Hunter lovingly caressed his huge belly as if he was enamored by its size. I also loved his belly, but there seemed to be a peculiar connection between the belly and his mind. It was a bit strange.

I was so entranced by Hunter’s huge belly that I didn’t notice my hand was getting moist. Initially, I thought it was sweat, but looking at my hand, I realized it was coated in a white liquid, which was definitely not sweat. When I looked at Hunter’s pecs, I noticed the white liquid was oozing from his nipples. I knew Hunter was a man, but I would’ve sworn he was lactating. 

“Hunter, what’s… what’s that?” I asked, a little bit scared.

“What? Haven’t you seen…” He was abruptly interrupted by his belly violently contracting, and this time, it made Hunter scream in pain. I was scared, and it all got worse when I felt the couch beneath us getting wet. I thought Hunter had peed right there, which was not a good sign. I wanted to stand up and get my phone, but Hunter held my hand so tightly that I couldn’t move. Then, I looked up at the TV and saw Arnold Schwarzenegger holding his own belly. That image triggered memories from the past few months, making me realize what was happening.

It wasn’t supposed to be possible, but it all matched. I looked at Hunter and saw that he was still in immense pain, unable to speak. I looked at his pecs, and I realized he was indeed lactating. It wasn’t sweat. Then, I looked at his belly and knew that the movement was caused by a baby, or babies if the size of Hunter’s belly was any indication. And the wetness on the couch… it was his water breaking.

“Hunter, you’ll say I’m crazy, but I think you’re in labor,” I managed to say as Hunter screamed out in pain once again, indicating his contractions were one on top of each other. Our movie night had become a very special one.

...

[redlyriumidol]

Sera and character development

So Sera is a character who (imo) gets somewhat the short end of the stick in terms of character development. She's a very polarising character and many people can't stand her- personally I love her now but I wasn't keen on her at all when the game came out. She's brash, rude, has very strong opinions and freely expresses them to the Inquisitor and to others. Sera is also very young, the youngest out of the companions, and I think her immaturity is obvious. She's got internalised racism up to her eyeballs and this makes it particularly unpleasant to romance her as a female elf, which I think was a disappointment to many.

I don't think this initial characterisation is a problem, the problem is that unlike some of the other characters we never really see her tackle her issues over the course of the game. It's easy to blame her for her opinions about elves, but realistically, this hatred includes herself, and therefore it must actually be very painful for her. it's also somewhat antithetical to her goals as a character as someone who stands for the little people- anyone can see that in Thedas, these are disproportionately elves, so caring about elves would actually be logical in her position. Sera's alienation from her identity as an elf is severe, and while I actually do think her feelings are worthy of sympathy (again, this is internalised racism, not a human character who is bigoted towards elves) they're not healthy, they actively obstruct her self-realisation. it's herself that Sera blames for the situation with the baker, it's herself that she hates, her own identity. she's from the alienage but hates people from the alienage. that's really sad, honestly.

In the breakup dialogue with her she says (about herself) "You'd get it if you were smarter. If you understood what it meant to be elven." That's pretty telling of her insecurities and self-hatred, in my opinion.

I think it was a massive wasted opportunity in terms of writing and character development not to give her a questline that interrogates this issue and helps her move past it. The temple of mythal is very personally, viscerally upsetting to her. Despite her repeated denial of it, she does feel connected in some ways to her heritage and I think it's obvious that it's painful for her. So why is it never explored??

In Trespasser, two years on, we do see a Sera who is beginning to grow up. She's very likable in Trespasser imo, her diary gives her a lot of depth. She cares about absolutely everyone. If the Inquisitor is an elf, this is added: "Is s/he all right with the elfy stuff?" and she even shows empathy for the dalish at one point: "Not as bad for dwarves as was for Dalish. Maybe." That's coming from someone who once reacted with disdain towards an elf inquisitor. She's still sceptical, but is slowly becoming less extreme. I'd just have liked for us to see it more explicitly in the actual game.

[yuesya]

Mechamaru is a sad character, even though his anger at Shiki, to me, is honestly misplaced and more like self-loathing, envy, and commiseration.

It’s honestly sad what happens to Mechamaru because he did get the short end of the stick when it comes to Heavenly Restriction, didn’t he? He only wanted to have a healthy body, and in canon, he got it.

But what did it cost, really?

Because in the end, Mechamaru did in some way betray the jujutsu sorcerers. He can tell himself that he was desperate and he had the right to try and better his life when no one else cared to or was able to help him. He was in a shitty situation and tried fixing it first chance that presented it, but it doesn’t erase the fact that he betrayed his comrades. He indirectly (?)aided in the tragedy that happened by facitilating information to the curses, which HELPED Kenjaku’s plans, and he died for it. Here, he’s alive to suffer the consequences of ill-fated choices.

He wasn’t wrong to want it. He’s wrong because ultimately, his actions were an act of betrayal.

He feels remorse for his betrayal. He feels guilty. He feels angry at Shiki, because his gamble failed and here she stood as a shining bastion of a “perfect” life.

Though as seen in here, Shiki probably doesn’t give a single fuck about Mechamaru’s feelings. Only that his betrayal put the jujutsu society - and in turn, her family and friends - in jeopardy and that it went against the rules that Shiki was following ONLY because her family and friends wanted her too. Her moral and logic is pretty skewed, after all. Her first reaction to him being turned into a monster is to render him immobile VIA limbs breaking which honestly is NOT the first thing people do, but it’s admittedly in a twisted way the most optimal way to subdue transfigurated!Mechamaru.

TBH wrong is wrong. Betrayal is betrayal. Mechamaru isn’t an innocent victim who tried saving himself. How many more people would die and did die in the jujutsu world because he aided the curses? How many people died in Liyue because here the curses tried getting rid of Shiki?

Which brings me to another point: Whether it was voluntary or not, because of his betrayal which fed the curses informations and had Shiki hunting after them, Mechamaru ended up as a tool in the ambush against Shiki. Mahito tried using him as a shield, but unfortunately for him and the curses, Shiki’s reasoning is far too settled in pragmatic reasoning and logic to a certain point, after which she settled into brute force or death. She wouldn’t sacrifice herself for just Mechamaru, after all, nor be squirmish about breaking some limbs or killing some people.

Kinda shameless to be angry at the girl who you involuntarily aided in ambushing, no?

It’s just. The first time I read the short about Mechamaru (which was STILL amazing btw) I felt sorry for him.

The next few times I reread it though, I was like wait a minute, this doesn’t sound right, this guy is making Shiki to be the bad guy in interrogating him when he “just tried helping himself and he didn’t truly mean to betray the jujutsu society qwq!!!” because she has a perfect life but BITCH so many people just died LMFAOO Shiki here just doing her job and being hated, my poor girl (though she doesn’t care).

Mechamaru lost his gamble in using Mahito and turned into an even worse monster.

Likewise, the curses lost their gamble in trying to delete Shiki and were all basically wiped out in minutes lmao. They probably didn’t expect the Gojo Satoru Expy to actually be a Gojo Satoru 2.0 lol.

Shiki just doing her job, stuck in another world. :( And she had promised her cousin to make a detour to buy sweets, too rip. :(

(which brings me to another point i’m not gonna expand: Satoru and Shiki’s relationship? I LOVELOVELOVE IT!! The opposing powers they present! Satoru is not truly the sole “honored one”! Satoru has someone who somewhat understands the way he looks at the world! Who will stand by his decision and trust! Who’s willing to murder a bitch or a few for him! They’re two peas in a pod, sometimes HE has to be the moral compass for Shiki even! HIM! THE Gojo Satoru! A moral compass!!! 😂😂😂)

!! I am bouncing a bit in excitement from this haha.

Mechamaru! Is a very very unfortunate character. His attempt to outsmart Kenjaku and the Special Grade curses was not something that ended well for anyone. The information that he provided them allowed Kenjaku's faction to set up the test run at the Goodwill Event and break into the warehouse, stealing the Death Paintings and Sukuna's fingers. If we think about what happened in Shibuya, where Sukuna was able to cause as much devastation as he did because of ingesting the additional fingers... arguably Mechamaru played a definite role in allowing this situation to occur in the first place.

Mechamaru wants to be healed. He wants to have a normal body, and be a normal student of Kyoto High with his friends.

In exchange, he betrays the school -but he's not really betraying them, Mechamaru tells himself. Look, he's even been careful enough to extract a binding vow for his friends to be unharmed. And it's not as if he really intends to throw in his lot with Geto. As soon as he gets what he wants, he'll turn on them. Mechamaru doesn't need to kill them in order to win; all he needs to do is escape and find sanctuary with Gojo Satoru. And with the intel that he'll have in his hands, Gojo will definitely protect him. Then, they'll be able to counter their enemies properly from there-

We all know how that turns out in the end, though. The many casualties that result from Kenjaku's plans... Mechamaru might not be responsible, but he's certainly not blameless in allowing Kenjaku to set things into motion.

Mechamaru strikes me as a character who has a strong confidence and ego, which is balanced at the same time by a helpless sense of inferiority and anger. He knows that he's a powerful sorcerer, and he's the only sorcerer whose range covers an entire country -not even Gojo Satoru can do that! And Mechamaru is observant, and intelligent. He hates the limitations imposed upon him by his body, and he wants ever so badly to see for himself the world that he can only interact with through his puppets-

Shiki gets the brunt of that, in this particular AU.

Mechamaru lives. He lives, but he's angry and guilty and oh how he regrets, without truly regretting. Sorcerers are selfish creatures, and Mechamaru is no different.

Here Gojo Shiki stands in front of him, beautiful and powerful and perfect, looking down on him like Mechamaru means absolutely nothing. Given the turmoil that Mechamaru is currently experiencing... it's only natural that he lashes out at her.

(It's no excuse. But it is a reason.)

In contrast to Mechamaru's complicated feelings towards her, Shiki is fairly indifferent about him in return, despite his role as a lure in the 'ambush' for her. She simply protects him because she was assigned to retrieve Mechamaru for an interrogation. Shiki can't retrieve him if he's dead.

... So that just means she'll need to do her best to keep him alive, until she manages to find a way home.

[soraisnotsleepy]

*:･ﾟ✧ Pocky game with Azul *:･ﾟ✧

short notice: got this idea while randomly scrolling through leona ao3 fics lolololol also the reader is referred as the perfect + they/them used

CW: none really just azul being a blushing insecure mess + poor proof reading bc im lazy

"Huh, you want to try this?" Azul cocked an eyebrow whilst sitting behind his desk.

His eyes nervously darted from the Perfect's happy face to a well-known classical red pocky package in their right hand. The merman knew very well what those treats were for if it hadn't been for Idia babbling about it the other day. A silly thought of trying it out popped into his head back then, but he quickly dismissed it. It would be too embarrassing to do that, especially when it's with him. How he wished to to die on the spot, his cheeks were literally on fire. Oh how he prayed for it to be not that noticeable.

"Of course I do! As long as you're fine with it," the Perfect chirped as they practically radiated sheer excitement.

Azul couldn't say no to such beautiful sight, he didn't want to as well. Maybe this time he will let it slide, it's just a simple goofy game, nothing serious. It's not like he'll fail something this easy? It's not like they would feel repulsed by the end of it, they offered it first after all.

"My my, darling, you seem rather enthusiastic about it. Then I'm obliged to indulge you, how could I not?" spoke Azul while attempting to sound smooth and calm as usual.

Jumpy notes in his tone could be heard, which greatly contrasted his still somewhat composed stature.

The next scene showcased how the Perfect was waiting for Azul to take the other side of the pocky. Their hands were placed on both sides of the armchair, leaving Azul without a chance to slip away. A tad uncomfortable position yet they would do anything to fluster their beloved even more. And speaking of Azul, the merman was already dying of shyness. All his confident talk and looks gone in seconds. Soon he encouraged himself to gently bite his side showing that he was more than ready to hide if anything goes south. And like that it went:

With each careful bite their face got closer. The Perfect didn't budge even the slightest meanwhile Azul failed to stop his heart from jumping out of his chest. He only could wonder how they managed to keep themselves together. He wondered if they could hear how loud was his heart beating. Somehow the merman managed to get himself out of the stupor and he did what his beloved was doing — biting the pocky stick and slowly making their way to his lips.

Now the Perfect's lips were one inch away from his. Azul stopped for a second to realize it but as soon as he did so, The Perfect moved even more dangerously close. Finally their lips crashed into a soft honey-like kiss. The Perfect moved their hands to Azul's cheeks while straddling him, standing like before was so uncomfortable. Why not sit on Azul? The poor merman was about to explode from this close contact. He felt like he was melting under their touch. Throwing aside every unforthcoming thought, he pressed back. It felt so good to the point he forgot about everything. He didn't care that it was in his office where anyone could barge in, especially Jade and Floyd. Shortly after they pulled away, this kiss was way more passionate than Azul had expected. Both of them stayed silent for a few seconds until the Perfect's laughter broke it.

"H-hey! What's so funny all of a sudden?" apprehensively asked Azul with a slightly concerned face.

He was about to drown in his overthinking until the Perfect answered back:

"You're so cute when you blush this hard,"

"What? I AM?"

Azul hurriedly searched for some kind of mirror to see was it that bad actually. He unlocked his phone and before his eyes really was a blushing mess with a small string of salvia in the corner of his mouth from kissing.

"Thank god Jade and Floyd didn't see this, they wouldn't let me live it down... I would be forced to make them sign another NDA," he sighed.

"Tehehehe." Giggled the Perfect as they kissed his forehead.

Azul, despite being a complete agitated mess right now, sweetly smiled at his darling.

[avelera]

I saw the IWTV finale early thanks to a kind soul sharing it with me!

A few (spoiler-y) thoughts:

Really interesting how they reimagined and framed the ending of this take on IWTV with Louis and Lestat mourning Claudia together. It feels like Justice For Claudia in many ways, it feels like a fitting homage to the origins of Claudia's character (the dead of Anne Rice's daughter from leukemia as a child), and in general was just a really interesting way to sort of give this closure the book never did and also use it to realistically allow them both to push forward past their toxic and abuse past into a somewhat plausible healed future.

It was also a decent reminder, to me, that these are vampires. These characters live forever. I would not condone Louis/Lestat in real life because life is too short to keep going back to an abusive ex. But these guys are vampires. Do not do as they do. But genuinely 70 years, a human lifetime, is realistically long enough to say, "Hey, we're new people now, we've learned and suffered a lot, we lost our daughter and it was fucked up. Maybe all we have is each other." And make peace with each other on that front.

BUT NOW I'M WONDERING HOW WE GET ROCKSTAR LESTAT - ok because Louis kind of got Lestat's book motivation for becoming a rockstar? The "Fuck you, come find me," to all the other vampires. Lestat I believe only speculates that as Louis' motivation, but they made it canon (or I could be wrong).

But that was Lestat's motivation for HIS book, making Louis and the others come find him. Since that's been solved with Louis coming to find him (lovely little homage to the IWTV movie with him playing the harpsichord) now I'm wondering if Louis is the one who encourages Lestat to become a rockstar and write down his book.

Thing is, it's not totally contradicted by the book. (SPOILERS) TVL does end with a beat where Louis and Lestat reunite and Louis is kind of his groupie for a bit. Moving that up so Louis is part of Lestat's rise is actually a really lovely touch, it gives them a bit more time together before shit goes down, and I could totally see this version of Louis as Lestat's agent since he's shown to have that business acumen.

Now that Daniel is a vampire (OMG OMG OMG MORE ON THAT IN A SECOND) the risk is no longer so bad for him to come interview Lestat and I'm sure he's salivating to do so and Louis would definitely invite Vampire Daniel to do the interview for Lestat's book, since there's no fear for his safety (or at least, not as much) anymore. And Daniel would jump at the chance. It would be a fabulous framing device, Rockstar Lestat with his agent, Louis, inviting Daniel to interview Lestat for his next book AND it means we get Daniel's snark throughout Lestat's story.

OK SO DANIEL BEING A VAMPIRE. Definitely leaves the door open for past AND present Devil's Minion WITH THE ADDED BONUS of Daniel not going insane after he's turned (likely owed to not being turned while still a drug addled young man so, hey, if there was past Devil's Minion where Armand said no, kudos to him for reading the situation correctly that vampirism would drive young Daniel insane but not Old Man Daniel).

I was SLIGHTLY, SLIGHTLY bummed to see Daniel as a vampire without getting to see the whole Daniel/Armand situation but only slightly. There wasn't enough room in the season, it would have been a distraction, and IMO we can now save it properly for its place in either TVL or QOTD, which I bet are going to be Seasons 3-4 or as many as 3-6 if we stick to 2 seasons per book.

A take on Devil's Minion where past and present Devil's Minion are intertwined would be AMAZING and I've got my fingers crossed that's how they do it. Maybe interweave a bit of Vampire Armand.

I don't think/know if we're going to get a full Vampire Armand season BUT I do believe the show is going to pivot its POV lens to say, hey, everyone's got a point of view, everyone's got a reason. At some point, we're going to get more of Armand's POV and why he did what he did because I imagine his version will be different from Louis', just as Lestat's is, that's the whole basis of the show. And in there maybe we'll get some past Daniel/Armand.

Ok this already got away from me but ANYWAY, those are my thoughts for now.

[soudakuwunmoment]

i feel like theres smth to say about the relationship between dirk and hal compared to the relationship between dave and davesprite. like i dont know what, but theres parallels and differences that i think are interesting, and you could use them to come to some kind of interesting conclusion about the differences between dirk and dave

hal was created to be a tool for dirk to use for convenience and to utilize as an upperhand in sburb (multitasking mostly) hal did not want to exist as a tool. hal wanted to exist as the person using the tool but got the short end of the stick by pure chance and has to live with his actions after not having thought them through.

davesprite decided to become a tool for dave to use to have better chances at winning sburb. dont take this as me saying that davesprite enjoys being what he is. simply that he was prototyped by his own will.

hal is considered to be a false version of dirk. he is technically dirk, but he is different enough that dirks friends do not perceive him the same way, and in some cases, do not consider him their friend.

davesprite is considered to be a fake dave. not that anyone doubts the validity of his existence as Dave Strider; more-so that people consider dave to be "the real dave" and davesprite to be an iteration of him, despite them both being real daves who lived different lives.

dirk and hal have an antagonistic relationship. they accuse the other of being exactly the same, while sometimes switching to claiming they are the superior version - dirk for his existence in the physical plane and being The Original, and hal for his intelligence and capabilities as a digital being with access to any information he desires in an instant.

dave and davesprite have a very subtle relationship. we assume davesprite struggles with feeling inferior to the alpha timeline dave, but dave doesnt reflect those feelings. dave sees davesprite as simply another him, maybe since hes used to meeting other versions of himself. they are generally friendly to each other, davesprite offers dave any information he might need about the game without being cryptic, but dave doesnt really take the offer. other than this, they dont interact all that much.

dirk and hals relationship is somewhat of a fight for dominance, constant low-blows, social gymnastics and psychological warfare, which reflects the self-loathing nature of dirk and his splinters.

dave and davesprites relationship has similar themes of inferiority, jealousy, and being seen as the "real dave" but its much more constructive and dave seems eager to assure davesprite of his validity.

maybe its representation of how dirk and dave deal with.. emotions? trauma? something like that. dirk is defensive and lashes out at others who he sees himself in, while dave is empathetic and reaches out to other iterations of himself because he understands how they feel. im not saying either is better than the other, just interested in how their personalities have an impact on how they react to having themselves reflected back at them.

you could also add jade onto this!! i was really interested in how she was so cruel to a reflection of herself despite how nice she normally is, and how she was able to recognize that about herself. shes somewhat like dirk in that sense, but i think shes more... self aware than him? something like that.

this post was more meant to be about dirk and dave tho :3

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2023 Anime Overview: Frieren: Beyond Journey's End and The Apothecary Diaries

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End

Premise: Frieren and her adventuring party saved the world from the Demon King after a ten year quest, and now their adventure is over. Frieren, as an elf who's lived for thousands of years, calls the journey a "short" one and casually says goodbye to her companions, promising to pop back around in fifty years. She does exactly that, only to find her companions have significantly aged, and when a beloved friend quickly passes away, she's wracked with grief and suddenly realizes this very "short" journey was important to her. In order to try to understand her feelings and human lives in general, she decided to retrace the steps of her journey, picking up companions on the way.

Frieren is both an interesting examination of what happens after the hero saves the world, as well as a meditation on mortality, grief, and the endless march of time. Frieren's long life allows her to see the impact she and her friends had on tons of people, even as, heartbreakingly, the memories of her companions are slowly fading from the collective consciousness, with only the legend remaining. There's a beautiful, bittersweet, hopeful but melancholy  atmosphere to the narrative, and the animation is absolutely breathtaking. Frieren herself is an intriguing character, seemingly stoic and disconnected but achingly human underneath it all and not without her funny quirks. She also has a good dynamic with the companions she picks up.

A sticking point for some might be the small arc where Frieren takes on some demons. It's a tone shift from the rest, being more of a fight against the Evil Enemy rather than a quiet meditation on loss, and I'll never be fond of the Innately Evil Fantasy Race trope.

Frieren does try to counteract the implications by saying the demons are just evolved from monsters who would mimic human speech to lure in and eat people. So they're basically monsters! ..But that actually just makes some parts just straight up not make sense (they're clearly sentient, animals don't get together to plot like the demons do, etc). I think what Frieren is going for is the horror of a monster almost indistinguishable from humans that only has interest in eating and killing us, which is has it's basis in mythology (while having it's own loaded implications) but the execution... could be better. There's something uncomfortable whenever a hero's motivation is "wipe all of this sentient race out" and the narrative seemingly bends over backwards to justify that. (And even if the demons sincerely did actually act like animals, I would have a hard time with Frieren declaring she's going to kill every last dragon on earth because some destroyed her village).

I'm told that Frieren isn't necessarily meant to be right about demons, and later on the manga introduces some elements that make the demons much more complex and less 'innately evil'' than that arc has them appear to be, but for now, it's awkward. However, I really did enjoy the amazingly animated fights and bonechilling moments we got out of that arc, and afterward the show went back to doing it's usual exploration of loss thing.

I think Frieren is a well crafted, beautiful and sometimes touching journey though a pastoral fantasy world. There's just a jarring and somewhat poorly executed element as a bump in the road (that nevertheless is a mostly entertaining arc). It also has girls that kick ass and are interesting characters and there's no fanservice bullshit, always a bonus. I'm on board for the rest!

The Apothecary Diaries

Premise: Maomao works as an apothecary in a land much like 15th century China and she LOVES poisons. After being kidnapped and forced to work as a servant girl in the imperial palace, she solves a mysterious case of poisoning and catches the eye one of the Emporer's top concubines, who makes her a lady in waiting. Thanks to her sharp mind and knowledge of poisons, Mao Mao is unwilling pulled into the cauldron of deception and sabotage that is the inner palace, and there's lots of mysteries to solve...

The Apothecary Diaries is definitely among my top anime this season, and a lot of it is down to Maomao, who's an incredible character. She's whip smart and refreshingly pragmatic, she's a cynical, bizarre little gremlin who loves poison way too much and she wishes everyone would just leave her alone so she can do weird medical experiments (often on herself). She just wants to keep her head down and not attract any trouble but annoyingly, her sense of justice means she can't ignore people in trouble! She's also disgusted by any man who tries to seduce her (girl, same). She's just plain fun to follow. She's impressive with her deductions, and intensely relatable at times. I love her, and Aoi Yuki does a fantastic job with her deadpan affect.

The anime is beautifully done, and it really gets across the cutthroat world of the Imperial Palace. Maomao lives among the concubines, so a lot of the anime is concerned with how women are treated as disposable, and how they're pitted against each other for the Emperor's approval. Without being direct about it, it shows that being a concubine and palace servant is not a happy life, and even the most favored long for more freedom. Maomao is a girl without any power to change things, so she has to accept the way it is, but does extend kindnesses and helps the women around her when she can.

Then there's Jinshi, who. uh.  He's an interesting character and is slowly developing, but I hate how he treats Maomao a lot of the time. The gag that he can't seduce her is fine enough, but he's super willing to use his social power over her to force her into uncomfortable situations. There's a part where he tries to force Maomao to taste honey from his fingers, backing her up against a wall, and it's so realistic about how it feels to have a man weaponize his higher standing in the workplace to harass you that it's very hard to watch. Maomao sweats and desperately strategizes to figure out how to refuse him without getting beheaded, looks at his assistant for help only for him to ignore her-- it's heartbreaking. The show does acknowledge how messed up with this is. Concubine Gyokuyo comes in to save Maomao and is furious at Jinshi for how he's treating her, Maomao tells off the assistant for ignoring her, and takes pleasure in getting a small bit of revenge on Jinshi later. But it makes me want Jinshi to go away. He's framed as Maomao's potential love interest sometimes, despite the fact she doesn't show any interest in him so far, (though I'm told they haven't gotten together in the English release of the source yet). I hope it doesn't happen (Maomao reads so aroace right now), but who knows, maybe he'll develop a lot.

Jinshi aside, you should also know that this being based off imperial China, pretty horrifying things are presented casually (like a nine year old concubine) though again, the show is well aware the system is messed up. There's also an incredibly quick, weird moment where Maomao tells a rape joke? She obliquely threatens sexual assault to a concubine who's bullying and threatening her (so obliquely I didn't realize at first and thought she was threatening to poison her, which would have been way more in character) and then goes 'whooops it was just a joke'. Nothing like that happens again, but it was completely bizarre and seemed OOC. There's also some "women are like this" dialogue that fits the time period but can still be annoying.

Overall, The Apothecary Diaries has intrigue, well-developed characters and an impeccable atmosphere, with a fascinating examination of the social constraints placed on women as an undercurrent. It tells a great range of stories, from romantic triumph, to bittersweet tales of recovering from grief, to pure tragedies, MaoMao is extremely lovable and entertaining, and I adore seeing her Sherlock Holmes her way though all the medical mysteries, while squeeing over horrible poison. Definitely check this out!

[judebelle]

CAN WE GET A TRENT & JUDE SMUT PLEASE, like a threesome if u write that but if not then write for either or.

can it be somewhat like Trent or jude is on live and reader is their friend and they start flirting/teasing getting handsy and they end the live getting down to business

PLOT TWIST THE LIVE NEVER ENDED SO THEY TRAUMATIZED THE FANS LOL

livestream - t.a.a x j.b. x reader

a/n : LMAOOO YES I LOVEEE THIS IDEA

c/w : smutttttt, threesome, second hand embarrassment, cursing, flirting

pairing : trent alexander arnold x fem!reader x jude bellingham

word count : 1.3k

- - -

you, trent, and jude were sitting on your couch in your large penthouse. you were a famous model and it was known that you and these two brits had been close friends for some time now. but come on, the tension between the three of you was undeniable. you were perched in between the two boys on your broad couch, holding your new and expensive phone, reading comments on your instagram live.

user23982365 - their friendship >>

liverfool.fan123 - JUDE COME TO LIVERPOOL

neyswife - guys i'm actually y/n

messigoat4life - everybody knows...

sarahisfree - You cute? 😍

y/nsusedtissue - y/n if u had to choose, trent or jude?

you let out an exaggerated sigh when you read that last comment. "neither of them. absolutely neither of them." jude shot you a faux shocked face. "yeah we all know who she'd pick." trent said in a knowingly voice accompanied with a small grin on his face.

"yeah right. she would much rather choose me, mate." jude scoffed jokingly as he slid his hand onto your left thigh - out of frame on the livestream. your eyes slightly widened but you coffered it up with an eye roll, going back to reading the comments. although, as your eyes skimmed the comments innocently, jude's hand creeped closer and closer to your hot core. this earned jude a short glare from you, warning him not to go any further. you would be lying if you said that it didn't make you feel things, but as soon as trent started massaging the flesh of your right thigh, you knew where they were going with this.

the short and flirty glances you three were sharing didn't go unnoticed by fans watching as they commented all sorts of things that you didn't care to read at that moment. you just needed trent and jude.

"okayyy- well uhh.. i think we're going to turn this thing off and um, yeah we'll see you guys another time. bye!" you directed a small wave and smile to your phone before impatiently placing it face-down onto the long table in front of your couch, before turning to see your two friends grinning smugly at you.

"what? is there a problem-" you cut jude's gloating off as you smashed your lips against his, taking his face into his hands as trent dipped his hand into your shorts, stroking your wet core. you let out groans of pleasure as you and jude continued kissing while you massaged the bulge in his pants.

you pulled back from an exasperated jude before turning your head to trent, granting him the same heated kiss you just shared with jude as you moved his hand out of your pants. after you pulled away, you nudged jude back onto the couch and got on your knees in front of him. simultaneously, you were giving trent a look that told him everything he needed to know. he quickly got up and knelt behind you before pulling out his wallet from his pocket and pulling out a condom.

jude gave him a questioning look from over you, who was undoing his belt. "what?" trent asked. "always be prepared." trent spoke as he opened the package, spreading the rubber on his hard cock. jude smirked when looking down at you, moving your hair out of your face an lifting his hips as you shimmied down his pants to his knees.

you looked behind at trent before seductively pulling your shorts down your ass, deciding to stick it out while you were at it as trent bit the corner of his lip at the sight of your thong.

you turned back to jude and palmed his dick through his boxers hard, making his eyes flutter closed. as you pulled out his dick, you heard trent shift out of his sweats behind you. you felt trent put his hands on your hips, slowly pulling you back so that you were in a doggy style position, your hands rested on jude's muscly thighs. as soon as you felt trent enter slowly into you, you wrapped your lips around jude's cock, your moans muffled compared the the groans from the two boys that were caged around you.

trent slowly rocked his hips into you, going deeper and deeper every thrust, while jude rested his hand on your head that was above his hips, his dick in your mouth. jude's panting and whining that were begging you to go faster didn't go unnoticed by you. you hollowed your cheeks around him and bobbed your head up and down, causing jude to press down on your head harder while your hair was fisted in his large hand.

trent picked up the pace behind you as well, letting out groans of pleasure. he was looking down at your hips, watching his dick go in and out of your ass as his hair fell in front of his glazed eyes. "fucking hell.." he muttered as he started going faster and faster. trent was holding your hips in place so that you weren't moving too much around jude, who was bucking his hips into your mouth.

the moans you were letting out at trent's actions vibrated around jude's cock sending him into a frenzy. the sound of skin slapping, gagging, and moaning filled the echoing house as you tried your hardest not to take your mouth off of jude. soon trent was ramming into your from behind as jude took control in the front, holding your head in place and fucking into your mouth.

"fuckin' hell-" and "shit!" was the only words to be heard amongst other similar profanities from the boys' mouths as yours was too full to speak. but both of these boys knew how good they were making you feel, their ego's growing larger and larger by the second.

you didn't know what was better, the fast and deep thrusts coming from trent that were hitting that spot inside of you so well, or the way that jude was fucking your mouth as he made filthy, naughty noises above you. you started to feel your orgasm approaching as trent really sped up behind you, making your body go numb. thank goodness trent was holding you up or else you would've collapsed right there.

it was straight out of a porno. the three of you all came one after another. trent first, digging his hands into your hips as he hissed at the feeling of you clenching around him before he came hard. the mixture of the sting from trent's palms and the noises coming from jude tipped you over the edge as you released on trent's dick, and moaned around jude's. the vibration from your moan was harder and stronger compared to your others which drove jude crazy. finally, he bucked his hips into your mouth as he came, his head falling back onto the sofa.

all three of your gasps filled the musky air as you all were recovering from the best sex you had ever had. it seemed as though after the loud sounds from your fuck session had died down, the sound of aggressive vibrating on the table behind trent grew louder.

all three of you furrowed your eyebrows while trent pulled out of you and turned his torso around to look at your phone that looked like it was about to explode. you could only guess what trent saw on your screen as his eyes widened before he started aggressively tapping on the top corner of your screen as you received message after message from friends trying to warn you about what the whole world was seeing.

maybe you should have double checked the live stream.

[kamiko1234]

Okay so I FINALLY got back around to continue with The Sea of Monsters. Right now I'm at chapter 7. And boy to I have THOUGHTS, so first off ? Tantalus is SUCH a jerk 💀 Like unironically he's replacing Ares for the "biggest jerk in the book" spot. Like- how come that seemingly EVERY ADULT (with the expection of Chiron, Sally , Poseidon and Hermers) that got a speaking role somehow has it out for Percy. But also campers apperantly having DIED in the past during those chariot races !? And them having been abolished being a pretty NEW thing !? That's honestly SO messed up like- I KNEW the gods didn#t really care a whole lot about their kids. But for them to allow THIS !? At a camp where those children were supposed to be SAFE !? I am repeating myself, BUT NO WONDER LUKE SNAPPED !? I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME IN HIS SITUATION ! Also this is double shitty if you think about the implications of TYSON being claimed. This is not attacking him by any means but- imagine you're a demigod at camp Halfblood. YOu are unclaimed, basically abandoned by atleast one of your parents. You are stuck in an overcrowded cabin. And then suddenly this litteral, bc definition, MONSTER arrives, and get's claimed BEFORE you !? After only having been in camp for a REALLY short time ????? While you (possibly) have waited YEARS and got NOTHING !? I'd be pissed. Clarisse going out on that quest to save camp also gives me... not god feelings. Like I feel like she's either going to die on this or she will get a redemption of sorts. I hope we will get to see a bit of her backstory and thought process, wonder if her attitude is personality or trauma. The most shocking thing for me though is Hermes being.... surprisingly nice ? He seems to genuinely love Luke, even somewhat defending him when Percy said he couldn't be saved anymore and saying you always stick to family ? I wonder what happened between them. I mean, so far Luke has more than enough reason to be going of the deep end. Why didn#t Hermes interfere or something ? He seems very aware of his son's hate for him. Considering how Hermes also send Percy to "save" Luke, I'm hoping we'll get a redemtion arc of sorts. Or atleast see more sympathetic Luke. I'm still unsure about the whole Grover and Thalia's tree being poisoned thing will go or what to think of it. I just hope both will be okay at the end of this. Well, that was all. Thanks for listening !

(Please mark any spoilers in any of your replies/reblogs so I can avoid the spoiler part , thank you very much ^^)

[immajustvibehere]

Arthur having a bath with reader?

It pays.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

oneshot: fluffy and suggestive

Summary: You walk in on Arthur taking a bath at the hotel. Being all wet and cold from the storm outside, you decide to join him in the tub. Maybe this is the best opportunity you get admit your feelings for each other.

2700 words, 15 minutes reading time

The knock on the door was frenetic and you didn't even wait for an answer before you barged in.

"Y/N?!", Arthur almost chocked on his words, anxiously skidding around in the bathtub. You noticed him sinking a bit lower under the surface of the water, shoulders slouching and Adam’s apple bobbing with a big gulp of surprise.

You sure were a sight to behold. Soaked and shivering from head to toe, you had stormed into the Saints hotel’s bathroom. That there was a proper storm outside was no secret. The windows were rattling and the whole building creaking. Rain pelted against the windows and walls. Your feeble presence was a shocking reminder that some people were crazy enough to leave their shelter in such a weather.

As if Arthur remembered that he’s supposed to be this big, brave man; he straightened his back, his chest now emerging from under the milky water and the bubbles. You had seen him shirtless a couple of times, when he had been working in the summer’s heat or when he decided that there was too much blood on his shirt to just hand to the girls to wash. Nevertheless, it was always around other people and – most importantly – he had always worn pants. Arthur cleared his throat and asked:

"What the hell are ya doin here?"

"Dutch send me-", you were still catching your breath while your wet clothes made a puddle on the floor.

"Dutch? Why? Something happened?", Arthur's eyes roamed your face, suddenly anxious to find out his gun is needed immediately.

"No...he – well… he was talking with Micah. Something about an important lead. And Micah wanted me to fetch you immediately. So Dutch....Dutch send me", you sighed.

You both looked at each other. You felt somewhat helpless and frustrated. Riding through a storm wasn’t the most leisurely afternoon activity. Your chest heaved under your soaked clothes that were sticking to you like a second skin. Arthur, on the other hand, looked confused. He tilted his head, considering you.

"An important lead? Sounds like that can wait, at least 'til I've finished my bath. I just got in", Arthur said.

"Yeah..."

"Ya sure Micah wasn't pulling yer leg? Sending you out to ride in a god damn storm?", Arthur leant back in the tub, suddenly more confident around you, when he saw you weren’t in a teasing mood.

"He...probably did...", you admitted. It made you sick, accepting this. On one hand, you hadn’t wanted to talk back to Dutch because you had already had a rather horrible day and in a discussion, you would have surely got the short end of the stick. You hadn’t been in the right state for being shamed and accused of laziness or disloyalty. But also - on the other hand - you had jumped at the opportunity to go and fetch Arthur.

A violent shiver ran down your spine. Cold water dripped from your head down your back, and even though the room had been heated feverishly with a big fire spitting in the fireplace, the wet clothes cooled you down extremely.

"Do you mind me staying? I'd just warm up for five minutes...", you asked.

"Sure", Arthur eyed you as you walked towards the fireplace.

That you got out of your jacket and shirt got him by surprise though. You heard the water in the tub splashing when you peeled the clothes off your skin. They'd never dry in a couple of minutes, but it was still better to be out of them.

"You can get into the tub if ya want. Yer freezing, you need it more than I do", Arthur offered in a soft voice.

You slowly turned around. Arthur sat upright, his arms on the edge, ready to leave if you accepted his offer. It melted your heart.

"I thought you just got in?", you asked warmly, with an underlying teasing tone, as you got closer.

By instinct, Arthur sank down again, checking if the foam covered enough of him. You two had been dancing around for the last couple of months. It wasn't even the case that one of you were oblivious to the fact. You had been flirting relentlessly, showed care and affection for one another - and yet, neither of you had openly admitted that you wanted more. It couldn't be for the fear of rejection because you both knew what you wanted. Maybe Arthur was held back by a weird lack of confidence. How stupid you were to make the mistake of liking him!, he would think. He was dangerous, old, ugly and unlovable. Not nearly good enough to be adored by someone like you. For you, it was a mixture of being afraid of commitment, the threatening idea of it not working out or others making fun of you because of the comical look the couple of you would be. Could you even handle Arthur? Or more importantly, could he handle you? With all your bodily imperfections and weird quirks that you thought rendered you undeserving of his sometimes very pure and simple love.

Those thoughts were always present. When the two of you sat down for a morning coffee, there were those looks that you gave each other, full of love and affection - but what if…?

"I thought you just got in there?"

He felt caught. Of course, he did just say so. And he wouldn't get out for an important lead, but for you, he would.  

"Yes, but-"

"How about I just join you in there?", you suggested, a cheeky grin forming.

"I-...What?", Arthur stuttered. Looking for words. Still, he tried to maintain the upper hand: "sure if you don't mind sharing a bathtub with a filthy outlaw."

You smiled. For a second you thought he might refuse.

"Look away, will you?", you begged. And he listened. Awkwardly looking to the other side of the room while you got out of your clothes. He tried his best to look the other way when you got into the tub, however, he had to admit to himself that it wasn’t entirely impossible to not see you at least in the corner of his eye. He thought he might lose it completely when you gave a silent moan and hum of appreciation for the hot water. Only when you had settled in opposite of him, hugging your knees in front of your body, he dared to look at you again. His cheeks as flushed as yours.

"That's … amazin", you admitted. It was a relief to feel your limbs warm up.

"Can imagine...", Arthur mumbled. You gave him a cheeky smile.

"Not a big talker, all of a sudden?", you teased.

"Naked small talk ain't that easy", Arthur huffed.

"Oh", you mocked, "so you never take a deluxe bath then?"

"Well...sometimes", Arthur defended himself in an offended voice.

"That's a lot of naked small talk, isn't it?"

"Sure, but I'll never see those women again! And they aren’t naked", Arthur fought back.

"So it's a problem that I'm naked?", you asked with raised eyebrows. You knew you had him.

"Problem? No, darling", Arthur chuckled warmly.

He knew you were bad at keeping a relaxed complexion when he called you pet names. He had observed your reaction to them almost immediately and from henceforward had only used them sporadically, being well aware that their use had an effect on you. And this remained true, because now you gulped and quickly avoided his gaze before you collected yourself for another witty remark.

"You won't call for a deluxe bath now, will you? If ya want I can give you a scrub and for the money you buy me a whiskey later", you suggested. Arthur looked unsure, self-consciousness quickly taking over his thoughts. He loved and trusted you, but he was outright embarrassed, knowing damn well a few spots were mud and dried blood blemished his skin.

"Come on...I'll just do your back", you offered with a kind smile.

Arthur sighed and handed the sponge to you. "M'okay", he agreed, carefully turning around in the bathtub. Water spilled over the edge of the bathtub, but neither of you cared really. "That's not one of yer tricks, is it?", Arthur asked anxiously. You had a history of playing small pranks on each other, so it wasn't a surprise he would assume something like that.

"What am I supposed to do?", you chuckled.

"I dunno? Drown me?", Arthur guessed.

"Mhhh", you grinned, "Now you're giving me some ideas..."

You thought about it for a second before you decided against drowning him. Mainly because he was ten times stronger than you and would turn the tables before you could do as much as dip his head under water. You smiled at the thought of naked wrestling in the bathtub. But you started to scrub Arthur's back with the sponge, casting it aside after a few moments to lightly massage his back with your hands. Arthur stiffened when your bare hands touched his skin. You felt the tense muscles in his shoulders when your hands tried to knead the tension away. Absentmindedly, you traced some of his scars on the back with your finger, which had Arthur twitching of the tickle. Your eyes fell on his hair. The tips were wet and clung to his neck. It looked funny and adorable at the same time. You enjoyed it quite a bit that you could stare and smile at Arthur’s handsomeness without him mocking you.

"Want me to wash your hair too?", you asked.

"Y/n ya really don't have to-"

"Oh, but I want. I've only got good feedback from my hair washing skills", you claimed.

"Who was the judge of that?", Arthur asked incredulous.

"Remember Jimmy?"

"Yer dog?", Arthur laughed.

"Sure. He always loved it when I washed him. Couldn't get enough", you said.

" If your only ever customer was a dog, I'm not sure your skills will suffice for-", you interrupted Arthur by pouring a jug of water over his head, wetting his hair and shutting him up in the process. You couldn’t help but laugh when Arthur had to spit out some of the water that had got into his mouth and wipe across his face.

"Have some trust, mister", you mocked.

"I'm startin' to think yer don't deserve to be paid with whiskey after", Arthur shook his head slightly, but him slowly starting to relax suggested that he indeed did enjoy your head massage.

"Maybe your right. I'm enjoying this way too much to demand any payment", you stated. Quickly and silently adding a "I mean, the annoying-you-part of course..."

"'Course...", Arthur mumbled in agreement. In reality, you were happy to be so intimate with Arthur. Finally. The way he gently pressed his head into your hands when you rubbed the soap in. He tried his best to stay decent, always adjusting his position and shuffling an inch away when he felt your breasts touching his back. But when, for the fourth time in a row, you pressed your upper body against his back 'as to reach his hair better', he stayed that way, only turning his head ever so slightly to watch you in the corner of his eye.

In a low voice and with red cheeks he finally said: "Yer teasin' me, girl?"

"Sure am", you poutingly admitted.

Arthur hadn't expected this answer. Normally, you'd just deny it and grin stupidly, he didn't expect it to be any different now. He lowered his head a bit and with a sigh and in a gravelly voice said: "There's only so much teasin' a poor fella like me can take."

You poured another jug of water over Arthur's head, this time more careful to not let it run over his face, but still efficiently washing out the soap.

You sighed. Then secretly grinned before trying to speak monotonously: "For my taste, you take a bit too much, Arthur."

He wanted to turn around. See your expression to check if this was as close to a confession as it would get today, but in this very moment you stood up to get out of the bathtub. Arthur caught a glimpse, but quickly averted his gaze again.

"What's that s'pposed to mean?", he asked while staring down the water in front of him, trying his best to ignore the fact that you were walking through the room butt naked to retrieve one of the towels that were provided on a chair. You feared your heart would break out of your chest any second now. You desperately searched for a way to play the conversation back to him. Lord, you didn't have the strength to actually say it. He'd tease you forever that you were the first to give in. And yet...you couldn't handle it being put off any longer. You feared that if nothing happend now, this would be the last moment for a long time of having had some intimate contact with Arthur. Your body still tickled from the feeling of leaning against his back.

Quickly, you dried yourself and tied the towel under your arms around your body. It was warm from lying near the fireplace and it felt cosy around your waist and torso. Then you took another towel, walking up to Arthur and handing it to him. When he finally looked up from the water to take the towel, you pressed a kiss against his temple.

"Thank you", you mumbled, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks yet again.

"For what?", Arthur asked so softly, you barely recognised his voice. His eyes were glued to your lips, regretting fiercely that they hadn't settled for another spot to kiss him.

"For trusting me", you smiled slightly. Arthur wasn't someone who trusted easily. And even being friends (and a little bit more) for years now, it was still special that he let you wash him. But the man scrunched his nose, his eyes shortly checking yours. His look conveyed that he was a bit offended of the idea that he wouldn't trust you with anything less but his god damn useless life.

"Yer drivin' me crazy woman...", Arthur shook his head. And then, suddenly, he stood up and with a big step left the tub. He didn't regard for one second that water was spilling everywhere - again. He even barely minded the towel, holding it in place in front of his private parts, covering something of which you frankly wouldn't have shied away to take a peek. And while you made a step back to not be drowned in the gush of bathwater, Arthur made haste to close the gap between you again. His free hand finding a place to rest on your cheek and pulling you into a kiss.

One could argue that months of teasing and dancing around each other took a toll on the man, because when the first kiss ended and you bated your eyes open, you already found Arthur's blue eyes staring you down intently. He was quick to close them again and go in for another deep kiss. At first a bit awkwardly, you remembered that you had two free hands, which now found their way to Arthur's shoulders where they rested shortly. Until you couldn't resist entangling them into his wet hair and pulling him deeper into the kiss.

After you broke from each other to catch your breath, Arthur rested his forehead against yours. With a smile on your face, you balanced on your toes, trying to make it easier for the big man. You found yourself feeling a new sort of comfortable around him. So you took a deep breath before you carefully pronounced:

"Arthur Morgan. I think I really like you a lot."

Arthur chuckled lowly, his hand wandering from your cheek to the small of your back, pushing you closer to him.

"You don't say, sweetheart. I couldn’t tell...", Arthur whispered.

You pinched his side, which made him twitch lightly and his towel shift just an inch.

"Do you think Micah's lead can wait until tomorrow", you asked while tracing Arthur's biceps with your finger.

Arthur laughed and peppered your face with small kisses: "It has to. I still gotta pay you, remember?"

"It's not gonna be whiskey, is it?", you chuckled. Arthur chuckled too, now planting a line of kisses down your neck and mumbling the sweetest "No".

[hypnautic-cereal]

❤️Stick(ers) with love❤️

🎨🦋A Welcome Home fan fic🌸🐛

Summary: Wally wants to hang out with his friends on a warm summer day, but he worries over picking the pilings off his fleece skin

Word count: 1,396 words

Characters involved: Wally Darling, Home, Julie Joyful, Frank Frankly, Howdy Pillar

Contents:

Dermatillomania (portrayed via fabric piling and cotton)

Fluff :D

Helping friends

Compulsions

Additional art at end jumpscare lol

Notes: This is my first time putting one of my fan fictions actually out in the world sooo any constructive criticism is appreciated. This is somewhat based on my own experiences with dermatillomania, and honestly I just kind of wanted some kind of outlet to share how I feel about it sometimes :,D

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Wally had woken up a little bit later than usual, but nothing would deter from the smiling summer day that the neighborhood had today. Home opened up one of its windows to let Wally have a nice breath of the morning summer air, and a small wave of heat rushed inside as Wally happily sighed. Crossing his arms over the windowsill, he felt something on his arm that had been unconsciously bothering him for months now. It seemed to have been piling from his fleece skin coming up again for Wally. It didn’t seem to bother Wally for the time being though, but Home was always concerned over Wally picking at the pilings. The piling picking would sometimes go to the point Wally would pick too hard and bits of his cotton insides would peek out.

Home warned through the creaking doors and floorboards for Wally to not pick at his arm this time around if he wanted to go outside with short sleeves today. Home also warned that he would dig too deep into his skin again and ruin his arm; “it’s done enough scarring to your beautiful skin already, Wally” Home creaked, pointing to the very tiny seams Home had to patch for him. Wally didn’t seem to fond of the idea of wearing his cardigan on an already warm day, but he didn’t seem fond of picking at his skin either, so he decided to wear his cardigan over a shorter sleeved white button up. Wally was going out to Howdy’s Place with Julie and Frank for smoothies and milkshakes, so Wally was more than eager to go outside and play.

After showering and preparing his hair, Wally was all dolled up to go and hang out with his friends. Wally stepped outside and waved goodbye to Home before going on his merry way. Although there was a nice breeze every now and then, the summer heat made Wally feel like he’d turn into butter if he didn’t find anything to cool him down. As Wally made his way to Howdy’s Place, he decided the cardigan was too much for him, and wrapped the cardigan around his waist. The summers heat felt so much better on Wally now that he didn’t have his wooly blue cardigan to retain heat.

The bell inside Howdy’s Place’s door gave a nice ring, and Wally stepped inside to see his friends waiting for him. Wally sighed and wiped the droplets of sweat off his forehead before sitting next to Julie. The three got Neapolitan milkshakes, but separate. Wally got a simple strawberry milkshake, Julie got a double chocolate milkshake, and Frank got a plain vanilla milkshake. Julie paid for the trio’s drinks, and thank the stars that Barnaby’s joke lessons are working out finally for her. After Howdy and the trio had quite the laugh from Julie’s jokes, Wally, Frank, and Julie happily enjoyed their milkshakes. While Julie yapped on and on to Frank about her summer plans, Wally once again crossed his arms as he happily enjoyed his milkshake. Whether he was aware of it or not, Wally felt the pilings on his arm again, and started to pick at it.

It didn’t hurt, but at the same time it did. It felt as if Wally was pricking his arm with a somewhat dull sewing needle all over his arm. He wasn’t doing much else while his friends talked and Howdy managed the store, but his focus was still on drinking his milkshake, so why was he picking at his skin? Perhaps it’s a need for perfection. How else was he going to get his arm smooth again from the piling? Wally didn’t feel exactly bad for doing it, but at the same time he did.

“Wally, are you doing alright there?” Frank asked as he looked over to Wally. Blinking from his state of thought, Wally looked back over to Julie and Frank. “Oh, yes! I am doing well.” Wally exclaimed monotonously. Wally uncrossed his arms, but still held onto his one arm that had all the piling, rubbing his thumb against it all. Julie tilted her head to side to take a look, and took note of how Wally rubbing his thumb against his arm. “Is your arm ok Wally? Can I see?” Julie asked curiously. Wally looked to the side in thought, and considering he can’t exactly hide his arm now that Julie’s curious about it. Julie holds her hand out kindly to Wally, and Wally allows Julie to see his arm, continuing to look away reluctantly.

Julie took a closer look at the pilings in an odd sense of curiosity. It seems like rainbow monsters like Julie haven’t been through anything like this before. Frank looked over from where he sat as Wally took back his arm to go back to his milkshake.

“You don’t have to be ashamed of it Wally.” Frank comforted to Wally. Wally looked back up from his milkshake to look at Frank, surprised at the words they had to say. “It’s something that’s compulsive to you, right?”

“Compulsive?” Wally asked as he tilted his head in question.

“Something you tend to do on repeat, regardless of how often you try to control it.” Frank explained calmly.

Wally understanding what the word meant now, he nodded his head a bit sadly, knowing what Frank described fits to Wally’s picking. “Hm…Well, you don’t have to feel sad about it!” Julie exclaimed to Wally.

“I don’t?” Wally asked.

“Not at all! If all that describes something compulsive, then that should mean that Frank and I’s flappy hands are compulsive too!” Julie said excitedly.

Wally and Frank laughed to Julie’s enthusiasm. “Well, you aren’t wrong in that sense Julie, no. Though it’s different to what Wally’s compulsions are, that being his skin picking.” Julie looks to Wally’s arm, then back to Wally.

“Does itttt..hurt whenever you pick at your skin Wally?” Julie asked curiously.

Wally shook his head no.

“It hurts, yes, but it only feels like a pinch every time.” Wally explains in his usual monotonous tone.

Julie tries to get an idea after learning this new information, and spins around on the barstool seat while sipping her milkshake. Glancing at the rack of sticker sheets Howdy has in his shop, the lightbulb flickers in her head with an idea. She quickly got down from her chair, grabbed a sticker pack, and went back to her seat.

“Hey Howdy! How much for the stickers?” Julie asked as she waved the sticker pack in the air.

“One joke per pack, Jules!” Howdy answered.

“….Well, whatdya call a sticker that’s always late?” Julie asked Howdy.

“Hmm, I dunno Jules, what do you call a sticker that’s always late?” Howdy questioned back.

“Stick around! It’ll show up eventually.” Julie answered.

Although it took a couple of seconds for Howdy and Frank to catch on, it was a holler and a half once they got the joke (Wally laughed, but he didn’t quite understand). Howdy wipes a tear from his eye from the laugh and settles down. “Oh boy, alright you won this one Julie. Now, whatdya need those stickers for anyway?” Howdy asked a bit puzzled.

Julie demonstrated by putting a sticker on her face, and slowly peeling it off. “I think that since there’s a little itty bitty bite of hurt whenever Wally picks at his skin, Wally can put these stickers on his arm! That way when he tries to pick at his skin, it won’t hurt as much!” Julie prompted. Wally and Howdy were bedazzled by the idea of using stickers on Wally’s arm to pick at rather than his own skin. “The peeling of the stickers could give the same stimulation Wally gets from digging into his skin to get the pilings off of him! Not a bad idea Julie.” Frank admitted.

Julie gave a little flappy hands to Frank’s approval of the idea, and turned to Wally for a true test of approval.

“What do you think Wally? Does it sound good to you?” Julie asked excitedly.

“That idea sounds like the absolute most! I think we should try it!” Wally said as he gave a happy nod in yes.

Julie jumped in joy as Wally said yes to her idea, and Julie, Frank, and Howdy all helped to cover Wally in as many stickers as he wanted.

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I’ll probably draw some art of the ending too where Howdy, Julie and Frank are putting stickers all over Wally :3