#i just felt like rewatching at least the first season

[smile-files]

i specifically kin season 1 ben because i haven’t gone through my character arc yet. then he was still a (kicked) puppy

[dullahandyke]

and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain

[eriexplosion]

Yesterday everyone was posting their feelings on TBB. I'm glad I waited, because there's a lot swirling around. Cut for negativity again.

I was introduced to The Bad Batch in August 2022 and fell instantly in love. The characters, the story, the complex family dynamics, they all spoke to me. I wasn't even a Star Wars fan but I went through and devoured The Clone Wars, Rebels, The Mandalorian, all of it. I threw myself into this world and adored every second of it. I must have rewatched season one over five times before season two even came out.

When season two premiered I loved it. Every Tuesday night I stayed up until the episode drop and devoured it immediately. I looked ahead at the schedule and took days off work for the double episodes, for the big Crosshair episodes - he was my favorite early on and season two only made that grow. But season two also really brought Tech into my radar even more. I had always liked him, but here he was shining. The Crossing really solidified it, as an autistic person. I'd never heard someone describe the difference in processing so succinctly before, so clearly, and it spoke to me like very little had. Here was a character that was like me. Here was a character that I needed when I was an undiagnosed child, someone that would have made me feel like I had at least some way of describing my differences.

Then, well. He died. It was an affecting scene, but it felt out of nowhere, it felt unfinished. Tech didn't even get the climax of the episode. He just fell into the clouds, the Batch grieved for a few minutes, and then the plot steamrolled right along.

I didn't believe it, not after the mad scientist presented his goggles and claimed not to salvage anything else. It seemed like such an obvious fake out. The longer I sat with it the less satisfying it felt. It felt so brushed over, so pointless, all for a mission that they accomplished nothing on. Then came the social media circus. Again and again his fall was shoved in our faces on Twitter, demanding we stream it. TikToks were made that were so out of touch they felt like parodies, the wound ripped open again and again, and I thought surely there had to be a purpose to it.

So I waited for season 3 as interviews were done that seemed to almost intentionally avoid calling him dead. As tweets were made promising we'd be so fulfilled if we could only see who was onscreen in the mid-season! (A tweet that immediately garnered dozens of people hoping it referred to Tech, all without a single comment to try and quell the speculation.) It felt already like we were being toyed with, but I thought it had to be for a reason or a purpose. More weirdly vague discussions went up about his Sacrifice, his Fall, his Anything But Death, even as everyone insists that it was so meaningful, the way he died on a mission that accomplished nothing. Jokes were made around Valentines Day.

He Fell For You, get it?

The first official use of killed went up on the databank right after the trailer, on Hunter's page of all places. The first time the interviews used dead was the Friday before the premier. It all felt too late, theories had already grown for months by that point.

Season 3 finally came and I waited up for every episode drop just like I did for season 2, hoping for him to come back or at least for him to be properly grieved, since we had barely a couple of minutes in Plan 99 before it was swept away for the next plot point. Surely Tech's impact deserved an episode of focus, if he were really gone.

The previously on plays his last words twice. But then we skip months into the future. We don't see Crosshair find out the news - even though Tech died on a mission to retrieve him. We don't watch Omega grieve. She barely seems to notice she's missing a brother. We got a brief allusion in episode two. It took three episodes to even mention his name in passing. Five episodes in everyone got their chance to look sad about him, but only for a few seconds and only when his skills were relevant. Compared to the gorgeous callback to Mayday in the same episode, it felt shallow. He had to have been more important than this didn't he?

Episodes 6 & 7 felt like maybe there was a reason. We see a new masked assassin that gets extra focus, who got put through a series of Tech-adjacent situations, whose beef with Crosshair was just a little too personal, who survived longer than all the rest but stayed masked. Rex talks about losing brothers, but Hunter says nothing about the brother they lost. I hoped it all meant something, that this was the reason that he felt so much like he was thrown away, so that he could come back in.

More one off mentions that only really come up when it's about how useful Tech would have been. More poking at the wound that still felt open and raw because we'd never gotten any closure. The closest we get is a single scene in episode eleven, so late in the season and so brief that I thought that couldn't possibly be it.

CX-2 comes back, and he talks like Tech. He's still not unmasked. I really need him to be something because otherwise what was it all for?

The most emotion comes in Juggernaut, from Phee. Its a highlight because it actually feels like it was about him, like he mattered as a person. It's episode twelve and we finally talk about him like a person. We never saw her get the news either.

Episodes thirteen and fourteen pass without any mentions at all. We're running out of time. Episode 15 hits and we get one raw one from Crosshair that Clone Force 99 died with Tech. It's the first time they directly say he's dead in so many words. It's the season finale. CX-2 is a nobody it turns out, and he dies faceless. Everyone gets a happy ending and after over a year of wondering if we'd ever get closure, it turns out Tech's just dead. But look how happy everyone else is!

Everyone gets to grow old. Except the autistic one of course. He's just dead and it hardly feels like it mattered at all. Did you know Wrecker and Hunter don't use his name once in season three? Omega and Echo mention him once each. Crosshair twice, only once with any emotion behind it. Phee tops the charts at three mentions, two by name and one by nickname. We see his goggles four times. I kept count.

There was never a bigger plan, this was just all he was worth. We spent two seasons on Crosshair's absence. We spent a whole episode dealing with it when Echo decided to go with Rex. Tech dies though and all his life amounted to was a handful of mentions when his skills would have been useful, some shots of his broken goggles, and endless cooing out of the text over how meaningful his sacrifice was. Too meaningful to take back, of course, even as Ventress is brought back from her own sacrifice.

I had really, really thought that this time autistic life would be worth more than autistic death. That a character that felt so carefully handled couldn't have just been thrown away for shock value, barely to even be mentioned again, his memory used to string us along to keep us watching. If you added up every mention and shot through season 3 it might actually clock in at less time than was spent on Mayday's send off.

I'm an adult. I'll survive, though the sting of seeing yet another character like me used as a stepping stone for everyone else's happy ending will take a while to fade. But I think about the child I used to be who needed a character like Tech. And I think about how it would have felt to actually get that only to watch him die a handful of episodes later as a side note to his family's story, barely even mentioned again. How badly it would have hurt, how deep it would have scarred.

I'm not that child anymore. But there are a lot of autistic kids out there that are the same as I used to be, and they're learning for the first time that people like us don't get happy endings. Instead they die so that everyone around them can rise up, and they might even get mentioned a few times. But don't worry. Everyone will tell you how meaningful and special it is and how delusional you were to ever hope for anything else.

The Bad Batch still means a lot to me. I think it always will. I love the characters. I love the family, and all the potential they had. But the sting of not belonging in this happy ending is there, and it's deep. It's been a long time since I trusted a show. It'll be a long time before I risk trusting another. And I hope that the autistic kids trying to learn how to close their hearts off behind new walls are doing okay.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - new entries upset the rankings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - Like most Thai BL pulps, this show doesn’t have much story to it. But I'm discovering that what it does have I actually really enjoy. I love that the gay boys got to play matchmaker for a change and I like how just GAY they are. It's nice. Refreshing.

We Are (Weds GMMTV iQIYI) ep 1-2 of 16 - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon. I like it. It’s old school Thai BL, but having fun with itself and its tropes. I’m not expecting much, so I don’t mind it waffling. All the couples are comfy. Chemistry is okay. Friendships are nifty. I like Pond's floppy hair. We fine. 

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - What an extremely bloody episode. And bad guy turned out to be very bad indeed. And now pretty much everyone is dead. Nice kiss. Of course. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 6 of 8 - It’s cute, they happy, not a ton happened. Random gratuitous bathing. As you do in BL. And I still think the sides should just end up in a thrupple

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - Oh they very cute. Also very silly. 

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - No. NOT THE GUITAR. YES abandon guitar for the sniff test! Love this for them. And me. My most favorite trope defeated my least favorite trope. VICTORY!!!  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 8 of 11 - It’s just so good. Baby went away, grew up, and learned how to become a temptation... and a husband. 

Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 5 eps - SooHyuk, only just surviving, reunites with YoonDae, his (brief) younger stepbrother who feels abandoned. They end up living together. The younger brother is played by Lee Jae Bin of Choco Milk Shake. OMG. STEPBROTHERS TROPE. Lucky me! Two in one season. Yay!!!! It's Korea so great visuals too. I shallow but yeah, this is great.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake. It’s utterly charming. I am charmed. Also the framing is gorgeous (of course). Very stylish.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know. Kind of a flat ending with the leads apart for most of it. I enjoyed this show but it never really hit with me. 

Summation

After a teen betrayal and resulting separation a reporter reunites with his first love. That love wants him back. I enjoyed the authenticity of a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scenes with this Japanese style of authenticity was oddly elegant but all in all this still fell a little flat for me. There's nothing objectively wrong with it, but in total the narrative felt sluggish and the main couple were just... stiff (in the wrong way). Frankly, I'd rather just rewatch Tokyo in April is. 8/10

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 3-4 of 12 - What is going on with this show? No, I get the plot. I just don't get the show or why I’m watching it. Annoying. 

It's done, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

To Be Continued (Sat C3 Thailand grey) ep 7-8fin - I can't for the life of me find the final 2 episodes. Haven't had a real hunt, but yeah. No dice so far.

It's airing but...

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari (Japan Furritsubs) eps 1-? of 10 - I may wait and binge it.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) 6 eps - It’s so boring DNFed at 2.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) 6 - The problem with situational comedy BL is it must be situational, comedic and a BL. This show gets 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. Dropped at 3.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - only 4 eps, tell me if I should bother?

Next Week Looks Like This:

4/18 At 25:00 in Alaska AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn. I think I've seen this before (joke) and also the trailer doesn't inspire confidence.

Still to Come in April

4/25 Boys Be Brave! AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) 8 eps - Trailer Jung Ki Sub is Kim Jin Woo's slacker friend - and secret crush. So when Ki Sub crashes at his place, his heart tingles to be near him everyday. But as the short stay turns into permanent mooch, how long can Jin Woo keep his true feelings under wraps and hold back from confessing?

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous pairing) and Best, news here. But will it actually air this month?

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Sniff test turning into a make out sesh? Please and thank you. City of Stars

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a bother.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[ashtheketchum]

A new family {Daryl Dixon X Reader} Part 1

A/N: In this chapter, the reader already has a child! I came up with this idea while rewatching the first season and I liked it :3 Have fun!

(D/N) = Daughter name

Warnings: fem.Reader, Reader already has a child, Merle is an asshole, mentions of abuse, insults (slut, bitch, etc.)

Picture is from Pinterest!

Masterlist!

____________________________________________________

PoV (Y/N):

My daughter (D/N) and I were brought to camp by Glenn and Andrea while they were looking for something to eat. We were very lucky, our supplies were running out and we couldn't defend ourselves. Their leader, Shane, accepted us, but only after Lori and Dale talked him into it. (D/N) and I settled in well, we were given a tent, some food and tasks to do during the day.

I was supposed to take care of the laundry and the kids while (D/N) had to do study work and keep watch with Dale. Actually, they were just watching birds, but they still enjoyed it.

But there were also two people who didn't play well with us.

The Dixon brothers, Merle and Daryl. Merle was Daryl's big brother and they were more alone. It wouldn't actually bother me if Merle didn't constantly make comments and Daryl looked after him like his lap dog.

Once Merle whistled at me because I was wearing shorts.

When I tried to contradict him, Daryl immediately jumped between us and drove me away.

"Go awa´, ya damn bitch!" He screamed the whole time.

However, I didn't leave because Daryl scared me, but because (D/N) was coming towards us. After that day, I had avoided the Dixon brothers and I forbade (D/N) to be near them.

One day (D/N) made a necklace with a small stone hanging on it.

The stone looked almost like a heart and she had it attached to one of her shoelaces.

"She looks great, darling." I said proudly.

(D/N) grinned widely at me before looking around. Apparently she was looking for someone, but I couldn't figure out who she was looking for.

"Mom, where is Daryl?" Her question stole all color and emotion from me.

I looked around uncertainly before kneeling down next to her.

"Honey, we talked about it… you're not going to them, not even to Daryl."

I said, a little more sternly.

(D/N) just pouted before putting the necklace away and sitting next to a tree.

I felt bad about giving her so little choice, but there was no other option. At least she could still play with Carl and Sophia while I started doing the laundry.

PoV Daryl:

I sat by a tree and cleaned my arrows from my crossbow.

Merle had gone deeper into the woods to take a piss, so I waited for him, but at a safe distance.

"Daryl!" I suddenly heard someone scream.

I immediately looked in the direction from which I was being called.

It was that stupid bitch's daughter. She looked at me brightly as she ran toward me. You'd think she wouldn't understand the current situation, the way she sometimes ran around and laughed.

I stood up and sighed in annoyance.

"Wha´ do ya wan´?" I asked harshly.

(D/N), that was her name, stopped in front of me and held out a necklace. It was a shoelace with a strangely shaped stone attached to it. I briefly looked at the necklace in confusion, then at the little girl.

"Wha´?" I didn't understand what she wanted.

"I did that! For you!” she then said.

I knelt down so that I was eye level with her. Then I snatched the necklace from her hand and I looked at the necklace.

,, Wha´ is tha´? An a-…” I stopped when I realized she was only 8 years old.

I cleared my throat briefly before speaking up again.

"… A-an apple…?" I then corrected myself.

(D/N) laughed briefly before shaking her head and tracing the outline with her finger.

"That's a heart! Mom and I found it!” she explained.

"Ah…" I said before putting the necklace in my pocket.

"I won´t wear tha… it'll break while I'm huntin´…" I just lied.

Merle would just laugh at me if he saw the necklace and I wasn't in the mood for that.

But (D/N) nodded in understanding and opened her mouth again to say something, but a more aggressive voice made her stop.

"Daryl, what are ya doing? Leave tha´ kid alone!” Merle shouted.

I immediately turned around to Merle.

(D/N) looked scared and she hid slightly, behind me. Merle walked up to her and grabbed her arm roughly.

"He, little one… my brotha is too old for ya!" Merle said.

(D/N) whimpered loudly and tears gathered in her eyes. I stayed silent for a while before I spoke up.

"Merle, tha's enough… I was just ´bout to send her awa´." I said.

,, Oh yeh? Then why is tha´ stupid brat still here? Go to yar slutty motha.”

Merle then shouted loudly.

(D/N) cried loudly before he let go of her and she ran away.

Grinning, Merle stood up again before looking at me. I looked after the little girl before I could no longer see her.

"Wha´?" I suddenly heard Merle's voice.

"Nothin´…" is all I said before we retreated into the forest.

PoV (Y/N):

I chatted with Carol while we hung out the laundry together.

Her husband, Ed, stared at us the whole time. When Carol and I were alone, I told her what my husband had done to me and my daughter. Carol was in the same situation I was in, except I killed my husband. So I understood her.

“Mom!” I suddenly heard (D/N) scream loudly.

I immediately threw the clothes on the floor and ran to my daughter, who was crying and sobbing. I hugged her tightly and tried to calm her down.

"Honey, what happened!? Why are you crying!?" I asked her as I checked her for injuries. But I didn't find any, luckily.

"I-I…! D-daryl-! Merle…!” She stuttered around random words.

But I understood enough to let my anger rise. Even though I told her to stay away from the Dixon brothers, I didn't want to yell at her right now. Apparently the brothers had already done it.

"Everything is fine…! I will talk to them…” I promised her.

But (D/N) immediately shook her head and clutched my shirt tightly.

"M-merle called you a slut…! He’s just like daddy!” she cried loudly.

My eyes filled with anger and I carried (Y/N) to Lori, who was cutting Carl's hair.

She immediately looked at me confused while (D/N) was still breathing heavily.

"What happened?" Lori asked.

Carl also looked at (D/N) while I sat her down next to him.

"Dixon happened." I said simply before turning around and running towards the brothers.

They could hear something from me. Next Chaper!

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[mylittleredgirl]

m*a*s*h reaction post released from my drafts!! i don't know why i have been worried about making a Good Post when legitimately everything that could ever be said about this show has been said.

so i will SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT SEASON THREE currently in progress:

ooooh war got a sweet budget increase in the off-season. pyrotechnics! helicopters! ACTIONNN BAYBEEEE

i'm falling more in love with everyone, details to follow

top of the list: trapper my bestie has been promoted to trapper my legit fictional crush 💕

don't get me wrong, in real life i would slap his face, but i'm with hot lips on this one. the hair, the smile, every time he takes off his shirt... take me to the supply tent or lose me forever

HOWEVER, i happened to notice that he is not on the header pic on hulu* and none of you talk about him so i must regretfully conclude that he will eventually leave the show

DON'T TELL ME WHEN

anyway i am cherishing him as one cherishes an old dog not long for this world

*speaking of hulu: i have now joined the henry blake appreciation society thanks to this One Weird Trick (reupping my hulu account for a month because i lost my shit after the dvds cut out at the climax of an episode AGAIN)

i went back to rewatch the episodes that didn't play on the dvds, and turns out a lot of them were henry eps (including the trial of henry blake and the one where he is waiting for news about his new baby...) (and also the one where he fell in love with a cheerleader but you can’t win ‘em all)

just in time to appreciate that scene in "o.r." where he tells hawkeye he doesn't want to be discharged so that he can keep doing real doctoring 🥺

"o.r." had so many good character bits!! even frank got some depth?? or at least an explanation for why he's Like That...

other eps i liked:

"iron guts kelly" -- felt like a follow-up to the one last season where hot lips got wasted and broke up with frank and then hawkeye and trapper had to sober her up, which i also loved! "we hate her but she's OURS to hate" is such a good character dynamic.

also lmao every time she cheats on frank, GET YOURS GIRL 😘

the frank/margaret thing is strangely compelling actually? it's like an inverse ship for real. will-they-or-won't-they but for breaking up. same energy though, like i'm glued to the screen rooting for them to fight instead of kiss.

"check-up" i was sooooo brave you guys making peace with the situation BUT THEN TRAPPER STAYED!!! i feel like my crush has been given a stay of execution

i don't know if i ship it per se but i really hope he and margaret hook up exactly once and literally everyone regrets it

i've seen some more episodes and have more thoughts but i need to lie down a lot first

oh one more thing:

i realize "m*a*s*h actors amazing" is not breaking news, but i'm specifically obsessed right now with how they are always interacting with props. i don't even mean the o.r. tools or scripted things, but how in every scene they're doing comedy while also moving crap around, pouring things, drinking, shaving, changing clothes, handing (or THROWING) things to each other, just making a mess all the time while still hitting their lines and comic beats. it's a master class in whatever that is.

anyway it's so good!!! more to come 💕

[antianakin]

So I recently rewatched Clone Wars, and season 7 was complex for me (mostly because it felt like too much Ahsoka away from the actual Clone Wars). The "Jedi don't care about the common people idea" coming from the sisters wasn't a bad worldbuilding thing since we know canonically Palpatine was trying to build dislike of the Jedi.

But the Mandalore arc where Ahsoka throws a fit because Obi-Wan and Anakin don't have time to go on a side quest for a planet that's not even part of the Republic when the literal Capital and Head Of State are being attacked? "This is why people don't trust the Jedi you only care about the core worlds." Girl took that to heart in the worst way possible.

Yeah, I think my feelings on the season 7 underlying theme is that it went too far in the direction of "the Jedi have lost their way, but Ahsoka realizes that instead of just abandoning the Jedi ways, she should re-discover the TRUE meaning of being a Jedi, unlike those OTHER Jedi who are being too political."

We all know that Filoni likes to try to promote Ahsoka as "better than the other Jedi," it's a reoccurring theme at this point and one that shows up for the first time in season 7 (chronologically at least, it would've shown up first in Rebels actually but it was slightly more subtle then. Slightly). So when Trace and Rafa bring out their sob story and then seem to blame the Jedi for what happened to their family more than, you know, the CRIMINAL WHO BROKE OUT OF PRISON IN THE FIRST PLACE, and the moral of the story at the end of both this arc and continuing into the Siege of Mandalore seems to be that the Jedi have "lost their way" because they no longer really care about the little people in the face of the war.

I think you're right that there's a germ of a good storyline here about how Palpatine's manipulations are working on the regular citizens, but the issue with this is that in order for that to be the story, the story needs to reinforce that what Trace and Rafa feel about the Jedi is WRONG, that the information they think they have is WRONG. But what we really get by the end of the arc is that they're RIGHT, the Jedi HAVE lost their way, and it's ONLY Ahsoka who realizes that and understands the true meaning of being a Jedi.

This continues into the Siege of Mandalore arc when she accuses Obi-Wan (and the Council and the rest of the Order through him) of being too political when they refuse to supply her with an army on a whim. She claims she's "not being fair" which should be an indictment against her entire argument, but it doesn't really feel like it is. It feels like we're supposed to be cheering her on, like "yeah, that's right, Ahsoka, you don't HAVE to be fair because the Jedi aren't being fair!" The Jedi no longer care about the little people and THAT'S why they won't help Bo-Katan take back Mandalore, they ONLY care about the elite in the Core and THAT'S why they prioritize Coruscant.

The issue with this entire theme is how contradictory it is across all of season 7. They claim that the Jedi only care about the elite of Coruscant when they choose to prioritize it except that the entire last arc was about the little people of Coruscant being abandoned by the Jedi in favor of going out to help other planets affected by the war. And the claim is also made in this episode that the Jedi SPECIFICALLY only care about the Chancellor's life, but then Ahsoka advocates for prioritizing Palpatine later because he's Anakin's friend or something like that. So what are we supposed to understand? That protecting Coruscant is only about helping the little people who live there when it's Ahsoka doing it? That defending and protecting Palpatine is only righteous and not about politics when it's Ahsoka doing it?

And THIS is where we get back to Filoni lifting Ahsoka up as better than all of the other Jedi. Ahsoka gets to get away with shit that no other Jedi is ever allowed to get away with. Ahsoka can be contradictory and hypocritical because she has to be right all the time no matter what the situation is because she's Ahsoka and better than everyone else. Specifically, obviously, better than all those other dumb Jedi in the Prequels Jedi Order.

I've seen people try to give benefit of the doubt to this season and claim that Ahsoka being contradictory and hypocritical is the point, that Ahsoka is still young and struggling with her feelings about the Wrong Jedi arc and figuring out who to trust, how to trust herself, and so she's being unfair on purpose and making mistakes, etc etc. And I understand that theory, but I just can't share it because at no point in either arc does it feel like I'm supposed to understand that Ahsoka is WRONG. I'd love for that to have been the story, because honestly I think there's a lot of merit to finally giving Ahsoka flaws again via the Wrong Jedi arc, showing how it's really impacted her and how much she still struggles with it and how it makes her unfair and unkind and lacking in compassion and understanding sometimes when it comes to the Jedi. That it's not necessarily the JEDI who've lost their way, but AHSOKA. If we stayed with the path that the Wrong Jedi left us on of Ahsoka saying that the person she no longer trusts is actually HERSELF, not the Jedi, that could've been great! But season 7 turns around and says "actually no, she just straight-up no longer trusts the Jedi completely but totally trusts herself just fine."

I don't HATE season 7, there's plenty I like about it, and I honestly do like Trace and Rafa and their arc (which seems to be a minority position), but it's also got a lot of things I dislike about it and it'll NEVER be within my most favorite seasons of TCW, honestly.

[steviesbicrisis]

Stranger Things S2 rewatch thoughts

I finally finished rewatching S2 and this is everything I've written down as I was watching lmao

KEITH USED TO WORK AT THE ARCADE?? Also the arcade is right next to family video so Keith just moved next door in season 3 lmao

Steve omg you’re so cute stop

FINALLY MAX IS HERE

Okay Billie is bad, yes? We all agree Billie is bad, right? But Dacre IS SO HOT I CANNOT HE TOOK A “PORCA TROIA” OUT OF ME LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

Honestly they’re so dope for dressing up as ghostbusters and going to school with matching outfits

Ugh Nancy and Steve are so terrible for each other

Steve’s face during the bullshit scene really broke my heart 🥺

People being annoyed at Joyce for being super protective of Will like what?? That boy was proclaimed dead, they had a funeral and he turned out to be in another dimension??? I dare you to not be at least a little paranoid

I’m getting the gayest vibes ever from this basketball + shower scene I’m not even joking, Harrington 100% felt what it is like to be a girl objectified in a nightclub

Billy calling Steve pretty boy is so fucked up like are you Eddie Munson? No so imma need you to back off ✋

Jfc no wonder Vecna chose max she’s a walking gold mine for therapists

One drive with Billy would be enough for me to become a target for Vecna I swear

A part of me will always blame Dustin for the cat’s death 🥲

Stranger things is so good I cannot fucking believe my eyes sometimes

First Nancy, now Hopper… can they like, stop going inside creepy ass portals all by themselves? FFS

OH MY GOD ERICA WAS SO SMALL HOW CUTE SINDFKJDF

Lucas telling Max “if I tell you the truth, you could be arrested or killed. Do you accept the risk?” Hits different now

FINALLY THE DUSTIN/STEVE DUO IS BORN

I was today years old when I realized Nancy broke up with Steve in S1 for a month but then she got back with him because she got tired of waiting for Jonathan

Dustin’s proud smile when Steve told him “good call dude” I CANT IM WEEK IM CRYING ON THE FLOOR

I will never get over Dustin’s pure adoration for Steve in this season

JUSTICE FOR BOB

BOB NEWBY THE SUPERHERO 😭😭😭

Everyone: it’s like the mind flyer! Steve&Max: don’t speak nerd in my presence pls

I’m sorry but Mike holding that small trophy as a weapon LOL

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE KIDS WERE AT THE WINDOW WHEN BILLY CAME ARE STUPID

I cannot believe they wanted to leave a beaten-up and concussed Steve behind, are you crazy???

I totally forgot that Steve, in a span of a couple of hours, pushed his girlfriend to be with another guy, got beaten up defending kids he barely knows and then went down - all beaten up and concussed - the upside down tunnels just for said kids?? ARE U EVEN REAL MAN?

Will turning to Mike when that girl asked him to dance 🥺

Nancy is so fucking right, those girls are so stupid turning Dustin down like fuck you who do you think you are????

Jopper at the end, I love my parents so much

Here my thoughts on S1!

[evendumbo]

And here come the long articles saying Ted Lasso is declining. I guess I don’t see how people watch, much less critique, the show without rewatching it, or at least watching it in concert with tumblr gifs. Trent’s description of Ted’s coaching style — “thousands of imperceptible moments leading to an inevitable conclusion” — also describes the writers’ storytelling style. No matter how many times I’ve rewatched the show, tumblr fans still have gifs and stills of things that I totally missed.

I read a funny tweet that was so done with tedbecca shippers because we’re like, “a pencil was on Rebecca’s desk and the same pencil was next to Ted…A HA!” It’s funny because it’s true. I can see if a person is like, look, I don’t have time to tumble on tumblr, this show about a game needs to stop being like a game and just say what’s on its mind. Fair enough. A person can critique the “total football” approach to storytelling if they’re not feeling it.

But when they’re like, Colin is randomly gay, for example, I’m like, that’s irritatingly heteronormative but it’s also incorrect. Colin’s extremely brief comment in season one about grindr was a little rainbow flag waving hello. Subtle, maybe imperceptible to some, but present. I'm very proud that I actually caught this one when I watched it the first time! However tumblr made damn sure I never forgot it so three years later I can be like, oh hey fam, Colin has a boyfriend, cool. His reveal didn’t feel random, it felt inevitable. The more obvious truth about Colin in season 1 is that he was a bully. The possible reason why he was bullying Nate is very subtle but it is there. The TL narrative style was able to make the point that no one, including many viewers, noticed what was going on. The narrative lesson is that we don’t pay enough attention to people around us in real life. Ted Lasso asks us to please pay more attention. Gifs help us to slow things down so we can see what’s going on. Maybe we should slow things down. Through both the story and storytelling style, TL (and fans) helps us honor the fact of the imperceptible and suggests ways to bring the world into a little more focus.

Anyway, I do wish critics would take the narrative method seriously before they write think pieces alleging that Ted Lasso has declined. Unless critics see this season as Act 3 of a three-act story built on a subtle but coherent storytelling approach, then I don’t see how, in good faith, they can evaluate if the show has declined, inclined, or reclined. They’re just…watching a different show.

TL;DR: tumblr > twitter

[theflyindutchwoman]

Hey! How are you holding up? Just finished the episode and I haven't really recovered. I am sad, I am frustrated, I don't really know what's happening? I thought they were mature and Tim is so dumb right now, I can't even.

And Lucy? I can't even start to imagine what she's going through. She has been so badass for the 5 seasons and this season she just gets fail after fail and loss after loss and doesn't even get a good job storyline.

So sorry I didn't reply sooner but I first wanted to take a little step back in order to fully digest the episode. As much as the waiting is killing me, I actually appreciate the hiatus for that. I imagine your feelings may have changed a bit as well since then… or that was the impression I got from our different conversations here and there. How are you feeling now? A bit better or still frustrated?

I'm going to start with Lucy. I was rewatching the beginning of season 5 and this is hitting even harder now. Not because of the pining era. But because the narrative was already showing her isolation back then. I couldn't quite put my finger on why her storyline in season 6 felt so familiar but now I get it. This is merely the continuation.

As we all noticed, the scene of Tim breaking up with her had a very similar vibe to the one at the end of 5.02. But think back of when she went to Nyla for advice about going to UC school, when she was trying to confide to Aaron who was too caught up in his own drama to hear her… or when she spent hours locked in a freezer because no one realised she was missing - besides Tim, that is. And then, there was the whole Rosalind thing where Lucy had to push through her own trauma to help Chris deal with his and help Bailey stay calm. But no one ever took the time to ask her how she was doing with all of this (on screen). They all had good reasons, by the way, this isn't me trying to paint them as the bad guys. But this still has an eerie similarity to what is happening right now. Only there has been no payoff for any of this. Yet. It didn't seem to go anywhere. Until now. Same with her career : she nailed UC Academy, something that was supposed to help her standout come promotion time… She helped the FBI on a raid, she was asked to be the acting Watch Commander, she was told that the whole station had her back… And yet, none of this paid off either. Yet. So this is a great opportunity to finally connect all the dots that have been dropped for the past two seasons and give Lucy the amazing arc she deserves. I sincerely hope this will be the case.

As for Tim… Look, the reason why I didn't want a breakup (besides the fact that I dislike this trope so much), is that I was afraid that it would cheapen the whole "worth the effort / worth the risk" speech. You can't say that and leave at the first difficulty without downplaying the whole story. So I'm glad that the writers were able to find a way to circumvent that issue by showing Tim completely unravelling. Because this isn't about him thinking Lucy is not worth the effort or the risk… This is about him thinking HE is not worthy of her. And that changes everything. For me, at least. I still get the frustration. I still wish this storyline would have been done with them sticking together and trying to work through it. But I can understand his perspective, why he thought this would be better for her. And I can see how that could make them stronger in the end. So, just like with Lucy, I hope Tim's arc will be treated properly and carefully. I need to see the payoff, the progress… I need to see them heal. Separately and then, together. It's always hard to see where a story is going when it is still unfolding… But for now, I choose to remain optimistic and hopeful. Does that help you even a tiny bit?

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

I talked a lot about Stella’s appearances previously, but I wanted to talk about her other appearance in season one—this scene:

This scene is interesting to me. I’ve seen some discussion on tumblr debating that this scene was only showing that Stolas felt guilty about cheating on Stella, not that Stolas was actually in the wrong for doing so.

And I find this logic fascinating b/c, yes if you would like to interpret it that way, you can. It’s up to you to decide how you want to interpret or engage with any work.

That said, I don’t think that competent and consistent writing would make the audience try to justify why Stella was there in hindsight. (Conversation continues below cut)

This scene is significant to me because the visual composition and direction of the animation puts Stella at the same level of importance as Octavia.

Which, in my opinion, means that this is one of the few times Helluva Boss did “Show don’t Tell” really well.

Through the visuals, the lyrics of the song, and Stolas’ reaction to Ozzie’s conjured Stella and Via, the audience is told that “these are people Stolas has both failed. He knows he has failed them and fears losing them. But he still hasn’t considered how his actions would impact them, and is now being faced with the idea of that possibility for the first time”

I specifically say that “he’s afraid of losing them” because the illusion of Octavia and Stella both turn their backs on Stolas, leaving him with just Blitzø. It’s extremely clear visual story telling—Stolas wants to be with Blitzø, but in doing so he is neglecting and will potentially lose his relationships with his wife and child.

And, at this point, because it’s before S2E1, the audience has still not been told that Stella is evil and abusive, and have no reason to think that Stolas wouldn’t care if Stella left (and again you can argue that there’s foreshadowing in hindsight but I have already gone over in depth why there isn’t enough information about Stella for the audience to see that coming)

What this part of the song is communicating to us is that Stella has at least some importance in Stolas’ life.

I think you could say that “well obviously Ozzie just didn’t know enough about Stolas’ personal life” but at the same time, what is being depicted in the show is also for the audience’s benefit.

When you are using a visual medium for your story-telling, your compositions and what you physically show the audience is important.

Like this isn’t subtext, it’s not even subtle—in a scene that is depicting Stolas’ shame, guilt, and embarrassment over his affair with Blitzø, Stella is included with Octavia because he knows he wronged her too.

(Also I almost didn’t write “Stolas’ shame, guilt etc.” b/c I was like “well wait, I can’t remember for sure that Stolas was shown as being ashamed or embarrassed about his relationship with Blitzø” so I went back to check and rewatched Ozzie’s and like.. Stolas being ashamed of his affair with Blitzø was shown even more explicitly than I remembered. Like, he straight up tries to ditch Blitzø and then hides his face after Ozzie asks him if he gave up his family to be with Blitzø ????

And Blitzø’s reaction to this shows he’s obviously hurt by this? Like. I know some people have acted like Blitzø is in the wrong for rejecting Stolas after Ozzie’s but I can’t imagine not being hurt by this reaction…)

But anyway, back to the main point—All of these visuals and the character’s reactions to what’s going on around them are meant to illicit emotions within us, but if Stella’s abuse and complete cruelty were always planned and she was always supposed to be hated, the emotional impact this scene is significantly lessened.

I know I’ve already said this, but I just can’t help thinking that the story would have been SO MUCH more interesting if Stolas was held fully accountable and actually had to reflect on his actions. There was so much potential for the plot and deep nuanced character development and change.

At the end of the day though, it’s not my story, and the writers and creative heads of HB get to tell the story they want to tell.

As a final note—I am not trying to nitpick, these are things that occur to me while I am trying to understand the story and engage with it on a deeper level.

But with every new episode, I find myself having more questions about why certain choices were made, and getting more and more confused about why characters behave the way they do. I can’t help thinking that the story was never fully planned out, and I worry that’s only going to become more obvious as time goes on.

[writer-room]

Rewatching the earlier, and even pilots episodes, of Ninjago are so WILD man. First of all, you notice all the things that are just plain forgotten about or pushed aside in later seasons. Kai originally being the main character, sure, we all know that one, but Cole was heavily implied to be, or become, the leader of the Ninja, that was Cole’s thing. Zane was automatically described with having a sixth seer sense, when nowadays it shows up very, very infrequently. Lloyd used to basically be the Avatar, does anyone remember that? This kid was just the Avatar.

And then you remember the silly things. Like how the skeleton army was once a threat. Like...the skeletons. We battled a giant snake, smaller snakes, robot armies, sentient video games, Garmadon a billion different times, the Overlord, Oni...and the skeletons used to be a worthy adversary. The skeletons.

Did you all remember that Cole’s earth dragon used to...breathe earth? I’ve been forced to remember. Rocky used to breathe earth as a form of attack. It was shown through brown swirly wisps in that beautiful, incredibly shitty 2011 effect. The Underworld used to be implied to be the place where all dead people went, or at least the bad ones. We never heard of a Departed Realm. Do we remember the time Cole had a scene that was a direct parody of Michael Jackson? I sure do. Genuinely the highlight simply because I don’t know how to describe the emotion I felt upon seeing it.

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

It’s been made pretty clear by the fandom, not just Buddie Shippers, that we aren’t really fans of who Buck and Eddie end up with in the finale.

The biggest issue I have with the pairings is that they weren’t worked up, they kind of just showed up and we have no reason to care about them.

If these women are supposed to be endgame, at least give us ample reason to support the choice.

Natalia: They really screwed up her character because there was so much potential in making her interesting and someone we would like to get to know. She’s a death dula and Buck died. Instead of having her tell Buck that it’s so “cool” that he died they could of had her play an active role in having him process his death. I mean they still have the opportunity to do that but after they gave us a cringe date, a recycled story line, but with less depth, they gave us too many reasons to dislike her as a character for me to even see that play out.

They made the same mistake they made with Lucy. Instead of having Natalia be a friend to Buck they force her to be a love interest which adds nothing new to bucks character.

But imagine Buck’s character development if Natalia was a friend. He would have gone from Buck 1.0 ( The guy who only does hook ups), to Buck 2.0 (the guy who just ends up in relationships) to Buck 3.0 (the guy who chooses himself and is able to be friends with a woman).

We can also address the fact that there is a lack of chemistry between Buck and Natalia. The kiss in the finale was awkward and not in a cute endearing way. I will say, I love that she doesn’t look like she could be related to Buck. I’m willing to see their relationship play out during season 7, but I just can’t see it being the end game.

Marisol: Where did she come from. What do you mean this is the girl that has Eddie acting like a middle schooler. She came out of nowhere and we know almost nothing about her, besides the fact that she fixes her brother’s mistakes.

I rewatched Season 6, Episode 5: Home Invasion, where we are first introduced to Marisol and after watching the episode, I believe the fan theory that her brother’s rescue was originally written as a boyfriend being rescued. But after the scenes where already filmed, the writers decided she’d be the love interest so they re-recorded the audio of the scene. I’m serious go back and watch her emergency, there is something off about it.

Marisol to me feels like another Ana. No substance, no reason for me to care about her. They both barely interacted, so their phone call makes less sense the more you think about it.

The same episode where Eddie is told he can’t look for love, he finds what he’s “been looking for”. This feels like Eddie is again only doing what he thinks he is supposed to do. Instead of processing his feelings of loneliness, he’s doing what he thinks the world expects him to do and date someone. He married Shannon because he felt like he had to. He stayed with Ana because he thought it was best for Christopher. And he’s settling for Marisol because he doesn’t want to be alone. None of those reasons are good reasons to pursue someone for a serious relationship.

It’s one thing to have Eddie date because he wants to be outside his comfort zone, meet people, and have fun. It’s a completely other thing to have him date because he feels like he needs to.

The only way to make Marisol a good character is by having her be a person that helps Eddie figure that out. She helps him realize that it’s not just about the end game, but his ability to just enjoy her company and not so worried about what the end result. She can just be someone he dates because she was fun to date. A relationship that shows him that you can have someone be an important part of your journey, but not your end game. Like a summer fling.

Given the fact that the actress who plays Marisol recently reposted a transphobic meme and couldn’t even attempt a sincere apology, I hope we don’t get to see her at all in season 7. She can be explained away by Eddie mentioning her once and just saying it felt promising but she just wasn’t the one. I have no interest in see their relationship play out.

Buddie: In my opinion, the best match for Buck and Eddie will always be each other. The writers have their relationship set up as the perfect slow burn, friends to lover scenario. And even though they screwed up the finale a bit, they can easily correct their wrongs. Buck and Eddie’s chemistry is undeniable and having them end up together would play into their individual story lines so perfectly.

I need this relationship that has developed organically to flourish in Season 7.

I will continue to manifest Buddie and let me use this moment to state couch theory is not dead. Buck will just need to get rid of another couch.

[junosmindpalace]

hi! i've been rewatching a few tdliosk eps every once in a while and i kinda missed kusuo 😩 and since it's christmas season i was wondering if u could write a saiki x fem reader one-shot in reference to season 1 ep 16 where saiki dresses up as santa and distributes presents to the kids in their neighborhood? so uhm when he was about to go home, he sees reader walking in the street (she lives nearby) also dressed up as santa for some reason lol. saiki and her are friends to say the least but there's an unspoken mutual pining stuff going on between them. saiki walks her home then she suddenly sees a mistletoe on one of the houses... reader froze and blushes hard and saiki got confused so he read her mind and he was like oh... he's hesitating on whether he'll kiss her or not but much to his surprise reader makes the first move 😆 tysm and pls take ur time! ❤

hi there! Thank you so much for your request! I couldn’t resist writing one of my more recent requests especially with the holiday theme…i hope you enjoy!

ps., dialogue in italics are kusuos inner thoughts/talking via telepathy!

warnings: angst? maybe? if you squint?

wc: 1.4k

The last person Saiki wanted to see today was you. 

It was already a pain going door to door dealing with all the brats in his neighborhood, but suddenly it was a hundred times more embarrassing when you were nervously eyeing his Santa get-up in confusion. 

But something that sort of lessened his dread upon running into you was that you too were also wearing a costume like his.

Saiki had spent his entire evening playing this Santa delivering presents to the children in his neighborhood, courtesy of his parents. He flew around the sky with a sack full of presents, just like the real deal. He’s dealt with all sorts of headaches tonight- a scared child, a non-believer, and a family conflict, to name a few. By the time his sack was empty, Kusuo was exhausted and ready to head home, opting to simply walk with his empty bag instead of teleporting as he didn’t live far. He regrets this decision immediately, however, when he runs into you. Which leads him to the dilemma he’s put himself in right now. 

“Oh no…of course I'd run into Y/N at this very moment. Why didn’t I just teleport home as soon as I finished?”

Just like with the rest of his friends, Saiki found you a nuisance, someone who interfered with his ability to lead a “normal” and peaceful life, but for a different reason than the rest of his peers. The two of you had been friends for a long time, longer than any of his current ones, but your relationship has felt different recently, and it’s been stressing Saiki out. 

As of late, Saiki has taken notice of some new uncomfortable feelings that only arise around you. Tightness in his chest, a weird sensation in his stomach. He doesn’t get sick, so obviously these symptoms alarm Kusuo. What was even more alarming was the fact that they were recurring, and most alarming of all, they were only recurrent around you. 

He’d been trying to avoid the most dreadful conclusion for these feelings ever since he noted that they only arose around you. He’s heard the signs a million times thanks to his love-crazed classmates. Clammy hands, he’s got it. A burning feeling in his chest? A blazing feeling, even. It brought him a sense of horror unlike any other, but after being unable to rid himself of his troublesome feelings, he’d come to the conclusion that yes, he, of all people, has a crush. Even worse, it was a crush on one of the only tolerable people in his life.

Maybe this conclusion wasn’t all that shocking, but it certainly didn’t make Kusuo feel any good. He’d been friends with you for years, spending all that time getting to know you and growing comfortable with you, and now suddenly he feels something more than friendship? Him of all people, the psychic who thought that it was his very nature not to be romantically involved with anyone? It turned his view of himself upside down. 

Saiki reached this conclusion not too long ago, and he’s still trying to figure out what to do with it. What was even worse about the ordeal was that your thoughts, as of late, have also been worrisome, seemingly more eager than usual to be around Saiki and questioning yourself whenever you caught yourself thinking of him in a not-so-just-friends kind of way. He's been trying his best to avoid you until he can figure out how to dispose of these feelings without them growing and without you catching on, as it seemed that they only intensified each time he saw you, and that wasn’t something he wanted.

Yet here you were, and for some reason, you were also in a Santa getup like Kusuo.

And after recovering from your initial moment of shock, you spoke out into the quiet, frigid atomosphere.  “Kusuo? Is that you?”

-

As you lived near Kusuo, the two of you accompanied each other on your walks home. You both removed your beards and hats to see and talk to each other properly, and you anxiously explained to Saiki the reasoning behind your getup after he explained his own, flustered that he caught you at such an embarrassing time. 

“Well, my work required me to wear something festive, and I got stuck with Santa out of all our costumes. I would have preferred an elf or even a snowman over Santa. I’ve been sweating all day.” You laughed nervously as you held your gaze to the ground and your beard up in defeat. But then you let your arm drop to its side and you turned toward him with a small smile. 

“I think it’s nice what you did, even if your parents coaxed you into it. Not many people would step up like you did tonight.”

Saiki stared at you exasperatedly. Usually Saiki doesn’t care for any sort of praise he receives, and he really (and I mean truly), doesn’t mean to brag, but he usually receives a lot. He doesn’t think much of it, but something about it coming from you makes him reflect, which pained him. He hates the effect you have on him, which is why he’s been trying to stay away. But somehow, he always keeps finding his way back to you, and you to him. He has to deal with a lot of irritating people on a daily basis, but you were his ultimate headache. Just how was he about to go about this new development in your relationship? It made him uneasy to think that things would have to change between you two, that things were already changing. Was it because he let you so close to him that he developed these feelings for you? That he’s gotten so vulnerable, so much more anxious and scared? Was he right about relationships in general being nothing but an inconvenience? 

Your house came before his, and out of respect, Kusuo walked you to your doorstep, deep in almost dark thought about his feelings. You didn’t mind Kusuo being quiet, and for the most part, your dynamic has usually consisted of you being the more talkative one. Besides, you were both exhausted from your eventful evenings. What you didn’t expect was for Saiki to follow behind you as you climbed up the steps to your porch. When you turned around behind you, your eyes widened in alarm.

“Oh no, Saiki, it’s okay, you don’t need to-!”

By the time he stopped in his tracks, your warning was futile. Saiki stared in confusion over your panicked face, your eyes carrying a sort of frenzied look in them. “What? What’s with the sudden dismissal? I only-”

And suddenly his own eyes widened in panic as he realized his error, his miscalculation. He’s beating himself up for not being more cautious, especially during this time of year. How could he be so careless?

Kusuo slowly turned his head up, almost in fear, to get a better view of the mistletoe that hung above the two of you. 

“My family thought…it would be sweet…”

Saiki stared in horror with his mouth open at the plant before quickly turning his attention back to you. What was he supposed to do? He wasn’t entitled to kissing you, he could obviously refuse. But his stomach churned. Did he really want to be turned down? The thought, even if it cropped up for a second, made him want to slap himself and hurl. 

The two of you stared at each other nervously in silence for a couple of moments before you suddenly took a deep breath. Saiki’s eyes widened even further. “Are they seriously going to kiss me? I didn’t think they’d have the courage to make a move like that. Their thoughts never indicated-”

Warm lips met his cheek for the swiftest moment before only a tingling sensation lingered. It had happened so quick it left him feeling dazed from being pulled out so suddenly from his thoughts. His surprised gaze still firmly held your nervous one, and silence fell between the two of you for a brief moment. 

“Thank you for walking me home. Merry Christmas, Saiki.” You quickly sputtered out these final words before turning on your heel and quickly heading inside, thankful that the door was left unlocked by one of your family members like you had asked earlier that evening. 

Saiki couldn’t help but linger at the porch for a few seconds, staring at the closed door before slowly turning around and continuing the path toward his house.

There was good reason for him to want to avoid you, especially tonight. When he got home and headed into the kitchen to greet his mother, she commented absentmindedly on the deep rose that settled into his face from the cold, and talked to no one in particular about how wonderful and joyous the Christmas season was.

wishing you all a happy and healthy 2023!! thank you for all the support i’ve received this past year <3

[clfixationstation]

ships that make me go absolutely insane

Ranked from most insane to least

EREMIN (AoT: Eren x Armin)

the entire time I'm watching them my brain is "they're just like me fr" they make me feel as if I'm tearing apart. Oh the shared dream, the ruin, the raw honesty cutting through layers of deception, the way they end - it's too much. I saw myself so much in their dynamic something about queer childhood friends to lovers. something about living in that in-between...also aspec Eren real. You have NO IDEA how much analysis I've written about them. The slow corruption of their shared dream, the way Armin knew Eren best, the way Eren looks at Armin :( "And in the corner of your eye / I saw a dream that never died" - Aurora

Catradora (SPoP: Catra x Adora)

First canon queer ship I watched <3 both healing and painful at the same time, it tapped into something deep I had forgotten long ago. The sort of relationship where you're really close but there's a gap you both feel and won't address for fear of your own feelings and about losing each other (both eremin & catradora) but then they're able to actually close it!! To see each other as they are! Do you understand how much hope that offers?! To be seen and be told your fate is not tragic? I have also written so much analysis about them. "You're the only friend I need / Sharing beds like little kids / And laughing 'til our ribs get tough / But that will never be enough" - Lorde

Cassunzel (TTS: Cass x Rapunzel)

*gasp* a ship that isn't queer childhood besties to lovers? But bro the YEARNING. Oh it hurts so bad. Also the aesthetic is simply divine. I'm ranking it here because it was very impactful for me some years ago, though I'm not into it enough right now to deliver a thorough explanation. Also I'm pretty sure Cass is a canon lesbian? Massive W. idk, something about shipping noncanon queer ships that gets me. "I'm sick of the sun / Can't trust anyone" - Poppy

Nuts n Dolts (RWBY: Penny x Ruby)

Idk they just cared for each other so tenderly and then Penny died twice and Ruby couldn't save her either time. Ow ow ow. THE doomed yuri. I love to hc both of them as aspec, & both are very neurodivergent-coded (because that is what I am). I'm drawn to the comfort, security, warmth, and the angst. There's also just something very bright in their relationship that draws me in, similarly to eremin. seeing each other in such a golden light while resenting themselves perhaps? the way they look at each other & hold each other so dear? "A chance to share the world / To be a girl who finally felt alive" - Friend, RWBY

Bumbleby (RWBY: Blake x Yang)

Holy shit the yearning! Blake abandoning Yang AND THEN COMING BACK AND STAYING. Protecting each other :') Healing together. It's just so sweet and powerful I can't help but adore it. I remember watching the first 2 seasons when I was little before I knew gay people existed, and shipping them even then. ngl I really want to go rewatch earlier seasons through a sapphic angst/yearning lens. "I made a vow, I'm not alone / Not dying now, we're protecting our own" - Nevermore, RWBY