#i just find it hilariously bad

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

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[lotus-pear]

lore accurate chuuya canonically drives a 2006 sparkly barbie motorcycle

[hypewinter]

Right so what if Danny became a psychologist instead of Jazz?

His friends and family died protecting him. So when he runs away and starts a new life, he adopts traits from all of them (both as a way of grieving and a way to honor them). For Tucker and Sam, Danny splits his free time between being a white hat hacker and a vocal environmental activist. For his parents, he adopts more of their eccentric personality. When he's not in a professional setting, he is loud and in your face about the latest thing he's been working on (he's also just about the most loyal person you can meet).

And for Jazz, his precious big sister, Danny decides to excel in the career path she never got the chance to enter. He resolves to fulfill her goal of helping out those society has deemed irredeemable. The ones nobody else can or wants to help. The first one he starts with, is the Joker.

[vioyume]

He probably said too many ice puns or something.

[eorzeashan]

i personally think putting his ass in mortal danger is like sex for theron

[backonrepeat]

Gortash, who escapes the Hells after years of torture, and hires Karlach (a red tiefling) as his bodyguard because better the devil you know.

Karlach, late teens, orphaned and trying to find her place in the city, imprinting on Gortash (a thug from the Lower City, making his way up on the world) like a baby duckling, ignoring the parade of red flags.

Them working together well and getting along, despite opposite personalities and morals, because Gortash (who grew up unloved by his parents and abused by devils) enjoys being the object of Karlach's earnest, honest flattery and loyalty too much, and Karlach (poor street urchin with little to no formal education) sees Gortash scheme with politicians and criminals, design clockwork machines, and climb the social ladder with ease, and thinks the sun shines out of his ass.

If Gortash keeps the worst of his dealings hidden from Karlach, well, that's just good business sense. She's still young and green, she'll toughen up as she grows older and the reality of the world grinds her optimisim to dust. And if Karlach turns a blind eye to her boss' cruel streak, to the boxes of smuggled weapons coming in and out of the warehouses, and the dead bodies floating down the Chiontar, it's because they probably did something to deserve it, after all Gortash has been nothing but good to her.

Maybe Gortash starts to wonder if a little bit of goodwill could be leveraged to achieve more power. After all, a couple of kind words and small favours have worked wonders to ensure Karlach's loyalty. Maybe he can allow himself a kindness or two, ease the leash, raise the boot, just a smidge. Only for the harshness of reality to slap him in the face once again, the deal falls through, his enemies gain ground, he loses money and men, his plan pushed back, because he, for one instant, believed Karlach's rainbow coloured worldview.

So he tightens his grip on power even more, doubles down on his cruelty, and decides: Karlach must go. And when Zariel offers her deal, a soul for an ongoing supply of infernal steel, he sells her off without hesitation.

[qqueenofhades]

Kind of want to write an academic AU. Do I know for what ship/fandom? Nope. Do I have any plot besides mundane suffering and/or disturbingly specific catharsis for me? I do not. Have I written fic in ages? I have not. And yet. Here we are.

[royalarchivist]

Amouranth: ...What happened to the dumpy? Oh, I guess that was Carrera (Carre).

Amouranth: Ruben, why do you– why do you look like Shaggy mixed with Peter Pettigrew? What happened? [She keeps going back to the picture and staring at it with growing concern] This is a pass– this picture is a pass! Wtf...

Rubius only has 3 looks: magazine model, cosplayer, or gamer shrimp.

[a-roguish-gambit]

Something hilarious I just realized regarding the turn of the century au cast vs regular x men evolution cast

Cannabis among other highly restricted drugs today would have been over the counter medicine at the turn of the century that any one could pick up. The FDA was only just becoming a thing since it's inception during the teddy Roosevelt administration and during that time edible tablets were considered medicine and the only restriction on them is that there had to be a prominent lable saying what the drug contianed. Cannabis tablets were used to treat headaches, cramps, etc.

Meanwhile the og Evo cast were early 2000s teens steeped in D.A.R.E. program culture (Except the international kids) ESPECIALLY SCOTT.

Imagine the absolute conniption 2000s Scott would have seeing his 1912 self make sure every girl had a bottle of cannabis tablets in their bathrooms for their time of the month or worse yet, actively giving jean cannabis tablets for a headache brought on by her powers.

Modern Scott: "THATS WEED IM CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE"

1910s Scott:"???? It's an FDA approved pharmaceutical drug?"

Modern Scott:"ITS DANGEROUS! IT WILL FRY YOUR BRAIN!!! HAVENT YOU SEEN THE DARE MATERIAL?!"

1910s Scott:"fry your brain....that's silly! the professor uses it for his own headaches!"

Modern Scott:"*unintelligible irate boy scout noises*The Professor?! No...no way..." *Faints*

1910s Scott:"oh dear....jean get the ammonia salts!"

[fastianini]

came to the conclusion that marc really just sees pecco on track wether it‘s practice quali or race, and he just goes alright i gotta bully this mfer

[ariadne-mouse]

Moc Weepe wishes he was Jonas Spahr so bad send tweet

[nevermoorsource]

Jungle recently shared an Instagram post with a sneak peek at the second Nevermoor graphic novel, releasing on August 29th.

[misc-obeyme]

Scary Noises in the Night

Sometimes I write serious stuff and sometimes I write complete nonsense. This is the latter. Not sure where this idea came from, but it's pretty ridiculous, so just be prepared for that.

You’re spending the night with one of the demon brothers and you hear a scary noise! What do you do?! Do you make him go investigate? Or does he simply comfort you until you go back to sleep? Well, it depends on the brother…

GN!MC

Warnings: Sleeping with the bros in their beds, but nothing sexual is talked about, just some snuggles and a couple kisses.

Lucifer

After being annoyed at you for waking him up for no reason, he's amused. Are you really scared of a strange noise in the night? Please, MC. As if anything could happen to you with him at your side.

Will absolutely indulge you if you insist that you want him to check it out. Very well. He'll make sure all is as it should be within the House of Lamentation. He has no problem proving to you that your concerns are unfounded.

When you go with him, he will wrap an arm around your shoulders. Says it's to make you feel safe, but that's just an excuse to hold you close.

To no one's surprise, Beel is in the kitchen for a midnight snack and he's not being quiet about it. After telling him to keep it down, Lucifer will carry you back to bed.

Mammon

You shake him awake and he's bolting up immediately, on high alert. What is it, MC?! What's wrong?! What's goin' on?!

You tell him you heard a strange noise. He's out of bed in seconds, you don't even have to ask. Though he's telling you that it's probably nothing, don't worry about it because the Great Mammon is here to protect you!

You follow him out and he holds your hand tightly. He's not afraid or anything, he just doesn't want you to be.

Turns out it was just Asmo coming home late from some party. See, nothing to worry about at all. Tells Asmo off for scaring you by being too loud. You drag him back to bed before they can start an argument. Holds you close to himself for the rest of the night to ensure you feel safe.

Leviathan

Another one who wakes up quickly and in a panic when you start to shake him. When you tell him why, he suggests what it could be and all the options are absolutely terrifying. There is no doubt he's thinking of every horror movie he's ever seen.

S-sorry, MC, but what do you think an otaku like him could possibly do about an intruder, anyway? You have to hype him up a bit. Remind him that he's the Admiral of Hell's Navy, that he can summon Lotan, and that he's the third most powerful demon brother. Your words mean so much to him! He's sure he can handle whatever that noise was!

When you venture out of his room, you cling onto his shirt. He's always looking over his shoulder to check on you.

The only thing you find is Lucifer in his office, still doing paperwork. Still, when you return to Levi's tub, he curls himself around you protectively.

Satan

It takes him a minute to fully wake up. He's concerned about you, but what could possibly be the problem? It's the middle of the night, you know. You heard a strange noise? The House of Lamentation is pretty old and creaky. Are you sure it wasn't just old house noises?

He sees no reason to go wandering around the house in the middle of the night just because you heard a strange noise. The chances that it's anything to worry about are slim. And even if there was something to worry about, he's right beside you. He'll keep you safe.

Anyway, MC, haven't you seen enough horror movies to know it's a bad idea to go investigate creepy noises in the dark? If you wake up tomorrow and someone in the house has been murdered, Satan is more than happy to take on the role of detective to find the killer then.

He will soothe you back to sleep. He holds you close in his arms, smoothing your hair back, and kissing your forehead gently. You don't need to be afraid as long as he's with you.

Asmodeus

Wakes up reluctantly and then pouts because you should know he needs to get a full night's sleep if he wants his skin to stay beautiful. What do you mean you heard a noise? What kind of noise? A scary noise?

Normally he wouldn't even worry about something like that, but you look so upset, he can't help but give in to you. Don't worry, MC darling! He'll charm any intruders into submission!

Puts your arm through his, keeping you close to his side. He can't stand the thought of you getting too far away from him when you're scared.

Aside from hearing some loud game music from behind the door to Levi's room, the house is quiet and there's nothing there. Asmo takes you back to his bed where he kisses you and snuggles you. He waits until you fall asleep before he closes his own eyes.

Beelzebub

Wakes up pretty quickly when you start to shake him. He's a little bleary, but aware enough to be worried about you. You heard something? Maybe it was his stomach?

When you insist that it wasn't his stomach and that you want him to check it out for you, he obediently does as you ask. Sure he'll go, MC, but he's going to grab a snack while he's up.

Holds your hand the whole time until you're in the kitchen. Then he makes plenty of his own noise getting something to eat. Makes sure you get to have some, too.

The two of you actually run into someone prowling around in the House of Lamentation's foyer. You exclaim about how you were right and Beel immediately goes into demon form to protect you. This scares the shit out of Mammon who just lost all his Grimm at the casino and is trying to sneak back into the house. When you finally get back to Beel's bed, he wraps his arms around you and tells you there's nothing to worry about as long as you're with him.

Belphegor

Good luck trying to wake him up. You have to shake him for quite a while before he even reacts at all. Eventually he opens one eye to glare at you. Why are you trying to wake him up in the middle of the night, MC?

You tell him about the sound you heard. Oh, right, a scary noise. Are you sure it wasn't Beel's stomach?

When it becomes clear to him that you really are scared, he reassures you that there's nothing to worry about. You're with him, Beel is also close by, and more than that if anyone actually tried to get into the House of Lamentation, his brothers would take care of it.

Belphie snuggles close to you, kissing your cheeks and rubbing your back. He comforts you until you're no longer afraid and lulls you back to sleep with his own steady breathing.

masterlist | part 2 with the side characters | Thank you for reading!

[thresholdbb]

He real cute in person

[aphelea]

first time we see alvar he chugs a glass of wine in a sip, talks about his 3 girlfriends and proceeds to call known facts a hoax. truly what a guy

[xxgothchatonxx]

No deep thinky-thoughts - just Cagula’s sad puppy eyes :(

oh I have Thoughts about this part right here! But I’ll shut the hell up for once and just leave this funny post alone 😂