#i just get SUCH bad crushes which is a stupid affliction to have at the same time. i literally want. so bad. that's it tho!

[callixton]

i genuinely don't know what changed where i experience active romance repulsion so much now but like. goddamn that shit is not for me. good to know! important to know these things about yourself!

[whydon-twego]

Morgana probably hates him. Or she hates his own plants, he doesn't know which statement is more correct.

"Morgana, do you remember what happened to the cactus you gave me for my birthday?"

Morgana simply shrugs her shoulders.

"I trust that being my plants and with a promise to kill you if they are not all nice and alive when I get back, they will be in good hands."

"You really have no one else to ask?"

Morgana snorts at that point.

"The only person I can trust is Gwen and as you well know Gwen will be leaving with me. It's only two weeks, I trust you'll be able to keep my orchids from dying in such a short time."

Arthur is not at all convinced and, barely five days into Gwen and his sister's honeymoon, he hates himself for always being so damn right.

His sister is going to kill him. *** Gwen, sweet little Gwen who, despite being on her honeymoon, answers him immediately, passes him a YouTube channel about plants and nature in general.

Arthur, looking at the half-wilted orchid in the window, doesn't know if it will be enough, but he has to at least try. *** Merlin (that's the name the guy uses on his channel MerlinLikeTheWizard) has quite a following on YouTube and has a lot of videos, even a few minutes long, explaining how to solve tricky situations.

The orchid with some difficulty recovers, Morgana's roses no longer seem to be on the brink of extinction and Arthur owes his life to a stranger on the internet.

A stranger with sparkling blue eyes, a disarming smile and huge ears.

Arthur may have a small and insignificant crush on him. ***

The plants have returned to Morgana and Gwen's house safe and sound (Arthur hugged Gwen a little harder than necessary, thanking her for saving his life) and Arthur is thinking if perhaps, now that he has a little more practice with plants, he can fulfil his dream of having a little corner of paradise on his over-empty balcony. He has always liked flowers, his mother had always liked flowers, but Arthur has always had the ability to kill every poor plant that has crossed his doorstep.

Maybe now is the right time. ***

"Merlin!"

Arthur didn't want to shout it in the middle of the street, he didn't want to shout it in the face of the stranger who is now looking at him with an alarmed face because -God!- they don't know each other and Arthur looks like a bloody stalker. But when was he ever going to meet his celebrity crush by pure chance in the middle of the streets of London?

Merlin looks at him a little confused but raises a hand in greeting and Arthur takes courage and gets a little closer to him. What do you say to someone you obsessively follow for advice and because their laughter brightens your day?

"You have the biggest ears in the world"

Morgana is terribly right, he must have some kind of mental affliction, there is no other explanation.

Merlin wrinkles his eyebrows and opens his mouth to reply but Arthur stops him by talking over him.

"That wasn't what I meant at all. I- sorry, no, I just wanted to- Thank you for saving my life."

At that, Merlin raises his eyebrows and Arthur finds himself thinking about how expressive the human face can be without having to say anything.

"Yeah, I mean, that's..." Arthur covers his face with his hands for a moment and thinks about what a mess he's making "I swear I don't usually suck this bad at first impressions" Arthur sighs "I kept my sister's plants and you should know that I have the ability to make a cactus die within 48 hours, so I was desperate because my sister threatened me with death about her precious orchid and his wife sent me the link to your channel and, I mean, I'm still alive so thanks"

Merlin spends a few seconds staring at him and Arthur feels incredibly stupid, then Merlin bursts out laughing and Arthur thinks he has an even better laugh heard live.

And what else could Arthur say now? He's at a loss for words and his throat is suddenly dry and would it be too weird to ask for an autograph or a photo together? Is this something people do with YouTubers? He honestly doesn't even have the courage to ask.

Merlin is smiling now, looking at him, and Arthur is stumbling over what to say. God, this is humiliating. We'd better end this quickly.

"Well, yeah, that's it… so thank you."

He turns to put as much distance as possible between himself and that embarrassing figure he will never tell anyone about, but a voice stops him.

"I think you owe me a coffee."

Arthur turns towards that voice he has come to know behind a microphone but which has a much stronger accent in person. He turns and watches Merlin look at him.

"What?"

"I saved your life you said. The least you could do to repay me would be to buy me a coffee."

Arthur looks at him for a few seconds and can't believe his ears.

"Sure!" he says quickly, extending a hand "I'm Arthur by the way"

"Nice to meet you Arthur, I suppose you already know my name"

Arthur looks at him sceptically.

"You mean to tell me that your name is really Merlin? Really?"

Merlin smiles and turns to point at the first Costa they find on the road.

"Like the Wizard" *** Merlin watches Arthur talk about how he has succeeded in creating a small corner of the garden on his balcony, how his eyes light up genuinely happy that he has succeeded in something he thought impossible, observes how he gesticulates animatedly and how he responds in a decidedly snobbish manner when something doesn't suit him.

Merlin watches Arthur and there is something about him that makes him say without a second thought "I'll come and have a look at your garden and we could work on it together"

Merlin observes how Arthur looks at him gratefully and how the coffee they were to have together becomes lunch and how Arthur manages to respond to his sarcasm with more sarcasm.

Merlin will have to buy Gaius dinner for convincing him to open that YouTube channel, months and months ago.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im losing my stupid little mind about this so i need help, birthday witch

I've been working athis restaurant for like 8 months, and the longer I work there the closer I've been getting with my coworkers. one of them is not really my type, and as far as I can tell I don't really have romantic feeling for them, but we've been hanging out a lot alone recently, and the last time we hung out i had some... new feelings? I cannot tell for the life of me if they're into me, if im actually into them, or if im not just down bad/lonely. I'm curious about what sex with them would be like and I would be okay with and even happy if it happened, but I'm not sure if its something I actually want to pursue? Basically does this sound like demisexuality to you or am i just In Some Circumstances? I feel like this happens to me often, where if someone is just like. nice and friendly and kid to me for a prolonged period of time, i typically develop a crush on them even if I'm not even that interested in them.

anon I am going to be so real with you I. do not understand what you're losing your mind about here. your feelings about someone changed after spending more time with them and getting to know them better, which is completely normal and fine, and you're a little sexually curious about someone you (probably? it sounds like?) don't actually want to sleep with, which is completely normal and fine. you're experiencing the circumstance of being alive and having feelings that cannot be neatly quantified; we are all afflicted thusly.

[astrobydalia]

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨Relationship observations pt. II💘

Hello guys!! In honor of Valentine’s day here’s a part II of one of the posts you loved the most which is relationship observations. This one is pretty long which is what you guys preferred. Hope you like it!

Credit: Tumblr blog @astrobydalia

💘 People with pisces ASC/moon/venus, Venus in the 12th and Neptune in the 7th or conjunct the ASC-DSC axis: it’s so SO easy to make them feel guilty. The type of people to easily feel like it’s their fault when others mistreat them and bc of this they could be more prone to attracting abusive people and narcissists

💘 Also, nobody talks about this and I understand why bc Neptune can be very tricky planet but I think it’s worth mentioning that Neptune is a very spiritual planet that represents unconditional love and therefore can mean true love or a real soul connection so the ruler of the 7th house making an aspect to Neptune, Neptune in the 7th, Juno in the 12th, 12th house synastry etc. can mean true love and a real soul connection in marriage. HOWEVER true love and a real soul connection feeling can often be confused with delusions which is why this planet gets such bad press in relatioships and remember 12th house a lot of times is karma so PLEASE be careful

💘 Venus ruling the 7th, venus in the 7th or Venus aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates a strong desire to marry for love. Very possible that the person won’t marry unless it’s for love. This also indicates good marriage life

💘 If you don’t have this it of course doesn’t mean you won’t marry for love or won’t marry at all so don’t worry. What I’ve seen in people who don’t have this is they are quite independent when it comes to relationships, they don’t mind getting married but they don’t mind not getting married or staying single either. While people who do have this Venus influence could be low-key obsessed with getting married or having a commitment/relationship

💘 Mercury ruling the 7th, mercury in the 7th or Mercury aspecting the ruler of the 7th indicates marring someone that is funny, someone you can always joke around with

💘 Don’t overlook Chiron in synastry. The house where someone else’s Chiron falls in your own chart could be where you feel like this person is a pain in the ass or where this person will help you achieve great potential

💘 Check Chiron in composite too, it represents where you may feel like you can never agree on or where you often agree to disagree

💘 Once you gain the trust of someone with Taurus Venus they are the absolute SWEETEST people ever

💘 Libra Venus love getting ready for someone special

💘 Check the ascendant in your Juno persona chart, it has some significance as to the energy around you meeting your spouse similar to a composite rising but more subtle energy. For ex. one of my friends has gemini rising in her Juno persona chart and she met her husband when we were in high school when she was about to be picked up by car and she was also holding books in her hands and when she saw him he was with his brother.

💘 The rising in the Juno persona chart also indicates appearance or overall vibe of spouse. For ex the husband of this friend I just told you previously (Gemini rising in her Juno pesona chart) has a very youthful and boyish vibe almost like a teenager he’s also very witty

>>>The actual composite rising you end up having with your spouse or the natal rising sign of your spouse doesn’t have to be the same as the rising of your Juno persona chart. I’ve seen this actually happening before but it doesn’t have to be

💘 In 4th house synastry specially with sun/moon/rising/venus, the house person will naturally see the planet person as a parent or a potential parent. Meaning, somehow the house person “judges” the planet person by deliberating how they’d be as a parent. With this overlay the house person naturally takes care of the needs of the planet person (said needs will be determined by the planet and sign in question) and that’s why the planet person will inevitably see the house person as a good potential parent

💘 There are lots of placements and asteroids that indicate your sexual turn ons but I think that the most potent ones are Lilith, Eros, your 8th house and the ruler of the 8th house. I’ve noticed that these represent specially erogenous zones for you and parts of the body you’re specially attracted to (aside from your kinks and stuff). For example Cancer: breast or nipple, Gemini: lips or hands, Taurus: waist and neck, Leo: hair or back, Sagittarius: hips or thighs etc.

💘 Mars can represent this too but what I’ve seen is that your mars represents more so HOW you like to have sex. It mostly represents how you like to physically approach the sexual act

  💘 8th house represents your sex style, the overall vibe or attitude you want in the sexual act. For ex you may like being dominant during sex with mars in Capricorn but want the sexual act to feel emotional and vulnerable with Cancer in the 8th or raw and fiery with Aries in the 8th

💘 Also, your 8th house is EVERYTHING when it comes to feeling satisfied sexually regardless of your kinks and turn ons. If you have sex that checks all the boxes for all your kinks/turn ons but doesn’t match up with your 8th house energy you will likely end up feeling low-key unsatisfied

💘 Couples with their moons in sister signs (or opposing moons) are either the perfect couple or a fucking disaster

💘 In my opinion, Sun-Moon, Sun-Sun or Moon-moon contacts in synastry are essential for a relationship to work out or last

💘 People with Juno retrograde are the MOST cautious when it comes to marriage, they could be a bit picky and often give the impression they’re not interested in commitment at all specially if it’s placed in Aquarius it gives huge Mr./Mrs Independent vibes

💘 Juno in a water sign gives player vibes, they are the type jump from person to person and likely have a long history of flings and flirting. These people have dated around A LOT and will only commit to that one person that truly manages to capture their heart deeply

💘 Juno in a fire sign are the type of people that wanna marry their crush two weeks or even days into meeting them. They often mistake “attraction at first sight” for “love at first sight”. The second they feel they have real good chemistry with someone they think it’s the love of their life

💘 Juno in an Air sign people need to feel like they really click with someone and they will want to commit only after really getting to know the person. They fall in love with the person’s mind first. They can easily un-crush someone in a second if they don’t like the person’s mind

💘 Juno in an Earth sign people are the most coutios when it comes to commitment. They migh deliberately delay marriage just to be SURE they are getting a reliable future and wanna be certain that it’s the absolute right time

💘 Before starting with the composite observations, you should know that synastry is the dynamic between two people but composite represents what the relationship really is, so that’s why on this post I’m focusing on composite

💘 I’ve noticed that the 2nd house in a composite chart indicates the “glue” or foundation of the relationship, its stability. Mars in this house could create a relationship based on sex for example, Venus a relationship based on love and affection, Saturn a relationship based on stability and compromise etc.

💘 4th house and moon in the composite represents the depths of the relationship. How you guys feel deep down about each other, how you make each other feel. This part of your relationship shows specially when you get true and honest with what are your real feelings

💘 Aquarius or Uranus in the 4th house, Aquarius moon or Moon conjunct Uranus in the composite creates a whole deal of emotional detachment for each other. Could be very emotionally cold to each other and one or both could see the other as insensitive specially if one of them has natal water or fire moon

💘 Aquarius Sun or risings in the composite however is huge best friend vibes regardless of the nature of the relationship. Moon conjunction Uranus can also get away with giving this vibe

💘 Virgos and Scorpios naturally find each other because they tend to have composite Sun in Libra :) So that togetherness and companionship energy is natural for them

💘 Aries moon in the composite chart is that type of relationship where any insult actually means “I love you”. Is that type of dynamic where one’s like “I love you, stupid bitch” and the other goes “🥰🥰” and then they both laugh

💘 Pisces moon in the composite is cute but also a bit tricky if afflicted, the couple could constantly feel they have to watch themselves in order to not hurt or offend the other, like constantly walking on eggshells. Needless to say also these relationships are very intuitive, if one or both are lying or hidding something (which often happens with this placement I’ve seen), the other just KNOWS

💘 Saturn in the 7th in the composite is very good aspect for staying together long-term but it can also mean that the couple is for some reason “forced” to be together or to see each other. They come together due to circumstances and not necessarily by choice (Saturn represents responsibilities, burdens or obligations). You have to look for indicators of love and romance otherwise it’s gonna be a relationship that stays together but more out of duty than real love

💘 Juno in the 4th house in the composite (specially conjunct some planet) is more indicative of marriage (or loyalty/compromise) than Juno in the 1st

💘 Vesta exactly conjunct South Node in the composite creates a STRONG soul-mate feeling and great devotion. These relationships are so long lasting the type where you just know you’re gonna be together your entire life

💘 Chiron in the 1st in the composite chart = feeling uncomfortable with each other, like you’re incompatible or like you don’t click together at all. Can also create a “can’t be together” vibe but not in a platonic Pisces way it’s more like there’s some incompatibility that can’t be salvaged and “stops” the couple from meeting/coming together or the relationship from taking place at least at first. Basically the relationship feels broken before even starting. The sign Chiron is in gives insight as to what’s the nature of this incompatibility.

💘 Saturn in the 8th in the composite = reluctance to have sex, one might have been sexually rejected by the other

💘 Chiron in the 10th in the composite = you don’t like working with this person. I have this with one of my best friends, we tried to run an IG page together and it was a disaster lmao

💘 Sun and maybe Venus in the 10th house in the composite indicates your relationship is source of gossip or at the very least everybody knows about your relationship

💘 If a composite planet or point falls in your natal 10th house then the relationship might affect your reputation

💘 The most harmonious and the most healthy relationships I’ve seen had empty 7th house empty 12th and empty 8th house in the composite. Literally 0 drama, 0 tensions, 0 codependency and surprisingly unbreakable (supported by other aspects of course)

💘 With that said the number 1 best house for synastry or composite in my opinion and based on what I have seen is the 9th house both friendship and relationship, also the 5th, 4th, 2nd, 11th, 3rd

💘 People who have your DSC sign as their moon sign will strike you quite strongly. Not necessarily their moon falling in your 7th or conjunct the DSC (tho this is stronger) I’ve seen that the fact that someone has your DSC sign as their moon sign is enough to create a little “crush” feeling or you feel like you can’t hate that person bc may see them as cute.

💘 The people I’ve seen that have gone through a harsh divorce mostly had in their natal chart: North Node in the 7th, Chiron in the 7th house, Saturn rx in the 7th house, Jupiter Square Uranus and planets or angles in Aquarius degrees (11°, 23°) specially if Venus or Moon are in these degrees or conjunct a planet that is in these degrees. These indicators can apply to breaking up a long-term relationship, breaking an engagement, etc. except probably Jupiter square Uranus. This one is particularly a divorce aspect specially in women’s charts. Also, side note, if Pluto or Uranus are involved, these people may have a devastating divorce or breakup 

💘 Composite planets in the composite 12th house can create a feeling like the relationship has an expiration date. One or both people are for some reason constantly anxious that the relationship might end. If they stay feeding these energy they’ll likely have a self-fulfilling prophecy

💘 Pisces rising in the composite makes for a very psychic bond. Could be the type of relationship where you’re thinking and wondering about them and boom they suddenly text you. These people are usually there for each other bc they intuitively know when to be

💘 This is probably a no-brainer but many life-long friendships I’ve seen had stelliums or planets in the 5th house-11th house axis or the 3rd house-9th house axis of the composite

💘 With Leo rising in the composite I’ve noticed these people always have very funny stories to tell about stuff they’ve been through and lived together. There’s a lot of “remember when...” followed by loud laughter. 

💘 North north node in the composite 5th house is a great placement

💘 6th house placements in the composite and synastry creates a dynamic where the two people and the relationship itself ends up feeling extremely predictable. The couple may find one specific routine or activity they like doing together or they always find themselves doing the same 3 activities every time they are together. This can be good or bad depending on what you want in a relationship, some people find it extremely boring or understamulating and others prefer it because it gives them a sense of stability or reliability

💘 Moon conjunct Chiron in composite is indicative of a healing relationship

Credit: Tumblr Blog @astrobydalia

[lunar-wandering]

petals for two

finally, here it is. the Shadowpeach non-fatal Hanahaki AU the people have been waiting for.

Word Count: 13k

Read on Ao3

Bajie and Wujing found Wukong kneeling down by the river.

Again.

For the third day in a row.

"...Elder brother?" Wujing asked, watching how Wukong's back and tail stiffened. "Are you...okay?"

"...Just peachy..." Wukong said, but the way he said it was quiet, wheezy, and entirely unconvincing. Bajie quirked an eyebrow.

"Really? Because that's what you've said the last two times now." He said, crossing his arms with a healthy dose of suspicion on his face. "That last fight was pretty bad- y'know it would be pretty unwise of the 'Intelligent Stone Monkey' to be hiding an injury-"

"I said I'm fine!" Wukong snapped, turning around to glare at them with firey red eyes, his fur bristling with anger.

There was a pause, Bajie and Wujing both falling silent as Wukong continued to glare at them-

And then Wukong's hand flew to his mouth, as he turned back around to face the river, his body shaking with muffled coughs. Both Wujing and Bajie rushed to his side, concerned-

Only to freeze as they saw the purple petals slipping through Wukong's fingers, falling into the river and floating downstream. There was a moment of silence, broken only by Wukong's wheezing breaths.

And then they were both kneeling beside him, Wujing rubbing comforting circles on Wukong's back, while Bajie pulled the Monkey King's hand away from his mouth, letting the petals fall freely.

Wukong, surprisingly enough, let them do this, and the three of them quietly watched the petals float away, vanishing as they went around the riverbend.

If Wujing and Bajie noticed the tears running down Wukong's face, they didn't comment on it.

"...I'm sorry." Is what Wujing chose to say, in a soft murmur.

"It's fine, I'm fine." Wukong whispered, for a whisper was all his throat could manage at the time. "I'll be okay."

They all knew he was trying to reassure himself with his words more so than them.

When the three of them returned to their makeshift camp with an apology and a half-baked excuse, Tripitaka barely batted an eye.

Bai Longma, however, stared at a stray petal clinging to Wukong's outfit with a look of knowing.

Miles away, in a cave hidden by shadows, a figure leaned against the cave wall, one hand steadying himself while the other covered the fresh wound to his eye, petals falling out of his mouth as he cursed whoever decided that love could be unrequited.

-

Hanahaki. The disease of unrequited love.

Or, well, as it was known nowadays, the disease of pining.

Originally, when people were first discovering the disease, they thought it to be only born out of feelings that could never be reciprocated.

As it turns out, that simply wasn't the entire truth.

Overall, about 20% of Hanahaki cases reported end up being due to unrequited love.

The other 80% are due to people who simply, for one reason or another, refuse to confess.

As was recently discovered, about a century or so ago, the one true cure for Hanahaki is to look your beloved in the eyes, and say; "I love you."

As you can imagine, not many people have the courage to do that.

Luckily, the disease has never truly been fatal more than it was a slight hindrance. There even exists some medicines and teas that can reduce the effects of the flowers, although using them comes with its own ballpark of side effects.

Anyways, to make a long story short, MK wasn't surprised to end up meeting someone currently suffering from Hanahaki.

He just hadn't been expecting it to have been the Monkey King.

-

It hadn't really been obvious at first. Hanahaki will sometimes wither slightly when distanced from whoever the afflicted person has a crush on, but it never really takes much to send the flowers into full bloom again.

MK didn't actually hand out with Wukong a lot, and even when he did, it was only for training, something Mk restlessly focused on in the hopes of getting better at being, well, the Monkey King's successor.

Which was why, when during one of their rare breaks, Wukong froze in shock when MK actually asked him a question (one that, for once, wasn't about training).

"...Monkey King? Do you have any friends?" MK asked.

"Sure I do!" Wukong lied, "Why do you ask?"

"Ah- well-" MK stuttered, staring down at the ground in front of him as he seemed to ponder how to phrase his next sentence. "You just seemed... lonely, I guess."

"Well, I'm not, since I do, in fact, have friends, so. Yeah." Wukong said, crossing his arms as his tail slowly swung back and forth nervously.

"Are your friends from now or before?" MK asked, tilting his head in curiosity. "Actually, did you even have friends before?"

"...Before?"

"Before the Journey to the West." MK elaborated.

"Psh, of course I did!" Wukong said, "Y'know, I was even friends with Demon Bull King back then- you wouldn't believe some of the stories I have about him..."

MK had, in fact, already known about Wukong and Demon Bull King having been friends. Tang had been more than happy to bring that up, multiple times.

But what MK really wanted to know was-

"Was there anybody else?" He asked.

"Of course there was! For example, M-" Wukong started, but very quickly cut himself off, the light in his eyes dulling slightly. MK winced, sensing that he'd somehow stumbled upon a sensitive subject.

Before he could apologize though, Wukong suddenly tensed, before turning and starting to walk away.

"Uh, I'll be right back, I just need to check on the younger monkeys for a moment, okay?" He said. It was an excuse that was easily seen through, but MK couldn't bring himself to mention it.

-

Similar situations kept happening.

Sometimes it was understandable, like when Wukong would take a second or so to throw a smile back on his face (a smile MK was starting to recognize as fake) whenever MK brought up the subject of the Journey to the West.

Other times, however, it was a little confusing. Like, for example, when after an unspoken kitchen incident, MK had worn a purple jacket to training. (Mei had let him borrow it from her, since his yellow jacket was still in the wash, due to the Kitchen Incident That Shall Not Be Named).

As soon as Wukong had seen the purple jacket, he'd froze, before hastily turning away and running back inside his little house, claiming to have forgotten something.

MK had taken the jacket off and stuffed it into his bag by the time Wukong returned.

-

It was only after the Macaque fight that things became clear.

They'd been silent, watching the sunrise, and MK had started to doze off, leaning on his mentor's shoulder as he slowly started to fall asleep.

...Only to be jostled back into awareness as Wukong's shoulders shook with barely muffled coughs.

"Are you okay?" MK asked, lifting his head off of Wukong's shoulder and staring at the Monkey King with thinly veiled worry. Wukong leaned away from MK's gaze, a hand still covering his mouth.

He was too busy coughing to give a good response.

"If you broke a rib or something and didn't tell me I'm not going to be very impressed." MK deadpanned. Wukong shook his head 'no' in response, hand still over his mouth despite the fact his coughing fit had already died down. "Well, what is it then?"

MK waited as Wukong seemed to internally debate with himself.

And then the Monkey King slowly removed his hand from his mouth, revealing the petals that he had confined within his palm.

"Oh. Oh!" MK said, realization striking him as the dots connected in his mind. "Oh, you have terrible taste."

"I know..." Wukong groaned, placing his head in his hands, not caring about how this caused some of the petals to stick to his face and fur. MK giggled a little over how silly his mentor looked, Wukong glaring at him and sticking one of the petals onto his successor's cheek in response. MK made a noise of disgust as he wiped the petal off of his face.

Far away from the two of them, Macaque stumbled back into his dojo, nursing a new injury, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, and holding crushed flower petals in his fist.

-

Well. Wukong could officially say that he'd never been in a situation like this before.

Tangled up and dangling from the Spider Queen's spiderweb, Wukong tried to distract himself from the feeling of being trapped, unable to move.... by doing his best to observe his surroundings.

There... sure were a lot of other demons here. He couldn't figure out if it was good or bad that he didn't recognize most of them.

Wait.

Wukong looked around the room again with narrowed eyes.

Could Spider Queen have also taken-

No.

Wukong couldn't see him anywhere, not to mention that the other monkey had always been concerned with his own safety first and foremost. He'd probably scrambled to get out of town at the first sign of trouble. Wukong wasn't going to find Macaque in here.

He wasn't sure why he'd even looked.

...And there was that warm, tickly feeling in the back of his throat again.

Wukong squirmed, trying to ignore the sensation for as long as possible. He even started humming, his go to method for repressing the petals, but it barely worked, and a small dose of panic started to overtake him. He had no way of covering up the petals that would come, his arms and hands pinned at his sides.

He would not let Spider Queen or the rest of her crew find out about this, not to mention....her.

(If the Lady Bone Demon found out about his Hanahaki... well, she already has enough leverage as it is. Wukong isn't about to hand over any more.)

And then there was Demon Bull King. Wukong wasn't entirely sure how his old friend, (ex-friend, he reminded himself), would react, and honestly he wasn't too keen on finding out.

Still though.

The flowers always win in the end.

Wukong did his best to duck his head into his shoulder, and hoped it would be enough as his chest was wracked with coughs.

-

The Demon Bull King was many things, but he was not, in fact, stupid.

He had been quick to notice the growing panic on Wukong's face, (really, the monkey hadn't even tried to hide it, either due to being lost in thought or because he thought nobody was paying close enough attention to notice), and had decided to watch and see what the Monkey King would do next.

He hadn't expected Wukong to turn his head to the side, doing his upmost best to silence his coughing fit.

He'd expected the flower petals even less.

"You, of all people, haven't gathered up the strength to confess?" Demon Bull King asked, startling Wukong right out of his coughing fit. "I did not take you to be a coward."

"I take offense to that." Wukong wheezed, a few more petals falling from his mouth as he spoke. "Besides, I remember you taking forever to confess to Princess Iron Fan-"

"I'm not the one who held my words in long enough for them to take root and bloom." Demon Bull King said, "Who is the object your affections anyways?"

"None of your business." Wukong said, once again squirming within the confines of the webs. Demon Bull King raised an eyebrow, before glancing down at the petals now littering the floor. The flowers typically would hint at who the afflicted had a crush on, but Demon Bull King was too far away to be able to tell what flowers the petals belonged to.

If he were to hazard a guess though...

"The Six Eared Macaque?" He asked, proceeding to find great amusement in how Wukong's fur stood on end, panic flashing on his face. "Ah, so I'm right then-"

"Shut up." Wukong hissed, his eyes flashing red. "Seriously, shut up. You can't tell anyone else about this-"

"Tell someone- I see flowers aren't the only nonsense your mouth spits out." Demon Bull King said. The red glow faded slightly from Wukong's eyes, as his expression shifted to confusion, with a small dash of hope.

"You... aren't going to tell anyone?" Wukong asked.

"And loose the precious blackmail material you have graced me with? Of course not!" Demon Bull King laughed, and Wukong sighed, sensing that somehow this would come back to bite him later.

-

Wukong forced his suitcase shut, trying to ignore the niggling feeling of guilt as MK stared at him, unimpressed. Okay, so maybe 'going on a vacation' wasn't the best excuse to use, but Wukong couldn't afford to waste any time coming up with a better one.

He was ready for MK to be worried about training.

He wasn't ready for Mk to be worried about him.

"...Will you be okay?" MK asked, "I mean, you seem to not want anyone to know about your Hanahaki, but if you're with friends then you'll be surrounded by other people at all times, so-"

"Oh, it'll be fine." Wukong said, waving MK's concerns away. "Besides, if the flowers act up, I'll just rip out my lungs."

"Please do not do that!" MK said, the horrified look on his face making Wukong chuckle.

"Oh, c'mon, it's not that bad." He said, "I've done it before."

"That does not make it better!" MK said, looking like he was about to start ranting, and Wukong took that as his cue that it was time to go.

-

MK pushed the exit door open, stumbling a little as he rushed into the alley way.

"Ugh- why did you do-.....that......" He said, voice trailing off as he registered that the alley way was empty.

Well. Seemingly empty.

One quick check with his true sight later, (he wasn't going to be falling for any tricks again), and MK was holding a dumpster over his head, revealing the shadow monkey that had been crouched down, hiding behind it. Macaque glanced up, his scarf covering his mouth and his fur bristling in shock as MK set the dumpster off to the side.

"So much for you having been a great warrior, huh?" MK said, crossing his arms and staring down at Macaque with an unimpressed expression.

"Uh- ah, so you figured that out, did you? Maybe you aren't as dense as you look." Macaque said, voice slightly raspy, as he stood up, trying to pretend he wasn't just hiding behind a dumpster-

Only for his scarf to slip down a little, allowing some golden flower petals to fall out. Macaque made quick work of snatching them out of the air, crushing them in his grip as he hid them behind his back, tail swishing nervously, but it was too late.

MK had seen.

"...Oh. Oh!" MK said, feeling torn between screaming in frustration or laughing in amusement over what had just been revealed to him. "Oh, you have terrible taste."

"...I have no idea what you're talking about." Macaque said, sighing and breathing out a few more golden petals as he did so, completely unaware of how much this revelation had shaken MK's already very delicate mental state. "Seriously. I don't even know where you got the idea that I'm in love with someone or something like that, because I'm definitely not."

"I never said anything about you being in love." MK said, starting to lean more towards being amused at this entire situation as Macaque stiffened, his tail stilling. "I just said you had terrible taste- maybe I was implying your whole 'performance' with the shadow play back in the theatre was simply lackluster."

"I take offense to that." Macaque hissed, his shadow growing slightly bigger as his tail once again started to thrash back and forth, this time in anger. MK ignored this obvious attempt at intimidation for another question that was on his mind, a much more pressing one, in his opinion.

"You still haven't answered my question from earlier, why did you do that?" He asked, watching as Macaque took a minute to process the question, having not expected the sudden subject change.

"....Why did I do what- Oh! Why did I break the lantern, you mean?" Macaque said, suddenly avoiding eye contact, his hand twitching like he wanted to grab hold of the edge of his scarf as he chewed on the corner of his lip, nervously rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. "Well, I was going to do the whole 'watch the hero get tormented by their inner demons and insecurities' thing like all the other villains, but you seem to already be doing that to yourself so- yeah. Didn't want to bother using my own expansive list of abilities when I could just lay back and watch the show you were already putting on for me."

"But I thought you wanted to be center stage, not in the audience. Y'know, because you want to steal the spotlight from Monkey King." MK said, raising an eyebrow as Macaque's hand finally grabbed the edge of his scarf, and he started fiddling with it nervously. "Or well, either that or you want to share a stage with him."

Something must have been brought to the forefront of Macaque's mind when MK said that, as suddenly he was turning away, using his scarf to cover his mouth as he coughed. MK remained standing in front of him, arms crossed, waiting patiently for the shadow monkey's response.

"I- I have no intention of shar- sharing a stage." Macaque eventually wheezed, pulling his scarf back down as he spoke so that he could be heard clearly. MK amusedly noted that he could see some golden petals peeking out from within the confines of the red cloth. "Not now, not before, and not ever."

"Ah, sure, keep telling yourself that." Mk said, staring pointedly at the flower petals.

Macaque flicked him on the forehead.

"Ow!" MK said, recoiling, a hand going to his forehead to try and numb the sting, his eyes closing reflexively as he leaned back. "Why would you do that for-"

MK paused, blinking bewilderedly, as he realized Macaque was no longer in front of him, seemingly having vanished entirely, having used MK's momentary distraction to fade away into the shadows, only a single left behind flower petal revealing that he had ever actually been there.

If MK had used his true sight again then and there, he would've found that Macaque was now resting on top of one of the nearby rooftops.

As it was though, his friends burst through into the alley way, prepped with questions he wasn't ready to answer.

(Later, Macaque would severely regret failing to remember to warn MK of the danger that was approaching him. But that would be later, and now he fully intended on sneaking back into the theatre to retrieve his shadow lantern...)

-

Life on the ship honestly wasn't all that bad. Sure, MK had lost all of his powers, and there was the ever looming threat of the Lady Bone Demon, but ignoring all of that important stuff?

Life on the ship was actually rather nice.

"You know what? I think I could actually get used to living like this." MK said, leaning against the railing of the ship, letting the wind rustle his hair. Wukong hummed in agreement, sitting on the railing beside his successor.

"...When all this is said and done, we should take a vacation." He said, "A real vacation. Together this time."

"Can I bring my friends with me?" MK wasn't so sure he could handle leaving the others behind after everything that had happened.

"Sure, go right ahead, if that's what you want." Wukong said, shrugging. MK visibly brightened, and an idea struck him.

"Oh- and you could bring your friends along too, you know, the ones I haven't met yet!" He said, and Wukong stiffened.

"....Uh.... about that..." He started, and MK's smile fell, replaced with a mixture of disappointment and concern.

"...You lied about the whole 'having other friends' thing, didn't you." He said, looking his mentor up and down before rolling out another accusation. "You're far lonelier that I thought you were."

"...Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be, Kid." Wukong said, a sad, half-hearted smile on his face. MK tried to come up with a response, either a joke or maybe some comforting words (how do you even comfort an immortal, who has been through so much and had probably heard everything you could possibly say?)-

Only to be completely distracted as the ship was heavily rocked by something crashing into it. MK's grip tightened around the steel railing, steadying himself as he heard the others rush up to the deck, shouting in confusion. Out of the corner of his eye, MK could see Wukong scramble to keep himself from falling over the side of the ship. (Which MK had to admit was... strange. Wukong had his whole cloud sail thing, he could fly, why would he be concerned about falling off?)

The rocking stopped, the ship steadying itself, and MK could smell smoke. Cautiously and slowly, he turned around, mentally preparing himself for the possibility of an attack, brought about by the Lady Bone Demon or one of her 'followers' (demons, that she had entranced to think that they were getting a good deal out of this, when in reality all she was doing was using them, with the full intent to throw them aside once they had served their purpose).

MK expected the broken bits and pieces of another, smaller ship, some parts still burning (and really, they should deal with those fire before they became a bigger problem. Sandy seemed to be running to get the fire extinguisher, so hopefully there wouldn't be any fire induced explosions today).

What he hadn't been expecting (but in hindsight, really should have been), was to see Red Son, standing in the center of the debris, nervously dusting the dirt off of his jacket, with Macaque laying face down on the deck behind him.

-

Red Son was having a very long day. Or, well, it had been about three days, really, but that wasn't the point here.

He brushed the remaining ship debris off of himself, making himself more 'presentable' while also purposefully prolonging the amount of time he could go without meeting the questioning gazes of MK and his friends.

Catching sight of the monkey still laying on the ground behind him, he turned and nudged Macaque with his foot.

"You really aren't making a good impression here." Red Son hissed, under his breath, knowing that the other's exceptional hearing meant that he could easily hear him.

"There truthfully isn't a good impression to be made." Macaque said, voice muffled by both the deck and his scarf, as he continued to lay face down, making no move to get up. "Not to mention, I'm feeling a little... singed, at the moment. Not everyone is as fire proof as you are, you- you hot headed fool."

The shadow monkey had, overall, been a great help in escaping from the Lady Bone Demon's dungeons, but Red Son wasn't past the point of kicking him in the side. Hard.

Macaque yelped in pain, curling up a little as though to shield himself, but continued to not even try to get up.

Red Son was unfortunately stopped from kicking the monkey again as he was tapped on the shoulder. Turning around, he found himself face to face with MK and Mei, their expressions completely neutral.

"Ah- Hello, Noodle Boy, Dragon Girl." Red Son said, politely nodding to each of them, trying to ignore his own nervousness (he did not feel like getting thrown off a ship today, thank you very much). MK and Mei said nothing, and Red Son began to wonder for a moment if crashing into their ship twice was somehow crossing a line.

But then both of them smiled, and Red Son braced himself just in time as Mei tackle-hugged him, MK laughing as he watched her do so.

"Wow, you really don't have much luck with vehicles and driving, on the ground or in the air, huh?" MK said, pushing a piece of debris from the miniature ship Red Son had flown in to the side with his foot. "Seriously, it's a wonder you ever managed to pass a driving test with skills like this."

"A driving what?" Red Son asked, immediately regretting it as both MK and Mei fixed him with a look of complete and utter horror.

"Oh heavens." Mei breathed, her grip on Red Son's shoulders growing almost uncomfortably tight. "You entered a race without knowing how to drive."

-

Too loud.

It was far, far too loud.

Still though, it was much better than being trapped down in the Lady Bone Demon's cold, dark, and desolate dungeons.

Or, at least, that is what Macaque thought to himself, even as he subtly pulled his scarf up over his ears, trying and failing miserably to block out the rumble of the engine, the hiss of the fires from the remains of their ship, the hushed whispers from Tang, Pigsy, and Sandy, and the trio's argument about Red Son's apparently non-existent drivers license.

(If he had known Red Son had never really, truly learned how to drive, Macaque wouldn't have let him pilot their escape ship.

...Albeit, Macaque himself wasn't all that much better, having had no idea as to what over half of the buttons in the ship were actually for.

Still though, he would have at least tried to land a perfect landing, instead of going all out on making sure they, quote, 'crashed in style', like what a certain hot tempered demon did.

Seriously Red Son. What the fuck.)

It took a few more minutes of laying there, trying to block everything out, before he realized that, over the roar of the engines and the trio's arguing, he couldn't hear where Wukong was.

...Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

Macaque stiffened as a warm hand landed on his shoulder, its grip alternating between being soothing soft and threateningly tight.

"...Macaque?" Wukong's voice asked, and Macaque felt the unfortunately all too familiar twinge in both his chest and throat.

Ah. It was definitely a bad thing then.

-

Wukong pulled his hand back as Macaque abruptly stood up, stumbling away from him and towards the side of the ship. For a moment, Wukong genuinely wondered if Macaque planned to just jump off the ship, despite the fact that they were thousands of miles above ground.

But Macaque simply grabbed hold of the railing, leaning slightly over it, his shoulders shaking.

"What's the matter, are you sea sick already?" Mei asked, noticing Macaque's movement. "Or, wait, would it be air sick? Meh, it's probably the same thing..."

Macaque gave no response other than raising his hand to flip her off, which simply made her cackle like a mad man. Wukong would've walked right on over to him and smacked the shadow monkey for the rude gesture-

That is, if he hadn't been already preoccupied with covering up the petals his concern for the other had caused him to start coughing up.

Unseen by either of them, MK glanced back and forth between the two monkeys, seeing how Wukong tucked the petals into the pocket of his shirt, and spotting a few golden ones fluttering away from Macaque, carried by the wind. MK sighed, ignoring how Mei and Red Son, the two closest to him who had noticed his reaction, looked at him in confusion.

It was going to be a really long trip.

-

Macaque stirred a bowl full of cake mix, deeply lost in his thoughts.

You see, being stuck in a ship, thousands of miles up in the air, surrounded by people, especially MK and the others, was a very stressful situation to be in. And unlike back at his dojo, Macaque didn't exactly have any training dummies to take said stress out on.

So, he naturally defaulted to another, less violent technique.

Stress baking.

Macaque had waited patiently in the shadows until Pigsy had left the kitchen to join the others up on the deck, and then had promptly taken over the entire room.

...He wasn't sure why he decided to make a chocolate cake though. He had really just been going through the motions, using the first thing he saw or what was directly in front of him, not feeling like putting in the effort to really search for anything else.

Well, at least thus far only MK had stumbled upon him like this, and the Monkey King's successor had been easily chased away by a purple glare and a hissed threat.

'...Although...' Macaque thought, stirring slowing down slightly as he heard footsteps coming down the hallway, approaching him. 'Maybe saying that I was poisoning everything in the kitchen wasn't the best choice of threat.'

He very nearly dropped the bowl when Wukong entered the room.

"So." Wukong said, leaping up onto the counter and sitting down, cross-legged. "Poison, huh?"

Well. He might as well go along with it. No use in changing his excuse now.

"Yep." Macaque said, taking the spoon out of the bowl as he gestured at the room. "I'm so one hundred percent done with all of you, so I have decided to poison all of you. Finally get rid of the noise, have a bit of peace, you know?"

As he said this, he made the mistake of putting the spoon within Wukong's reach.

The Monkey King, spurred by nothing but his own impulsivity, leaned forwards and casually licked the edge of the spoon.

Macaque pulled the utensil back at record breaking speeds (he avoided putting it back into the bowl, he knew far better than to do that) and proceeded to stare at Wukong with the most offended expression he could manage.

Wukong completely ignored it.

"Your 'poison' happens to taste an awful lot like chocolate." He said, taking a glance around the kitchen, noting all the ingredients on the kitchen island, before looking Macaque up and down. "...Stress baking?"

"Poison." Macaque corrected, glaring at the other as he got a new spoon to stir with. "I'm making poison."

"...Poison for yourself, maybe." Wukong said, looking thoughtful, "If I remember right, you can't eat chocolate, can you?"

Macaque didn't bother to grace him with a response, instead turning his back to the other monkey, continuing to mix more ingredients into the bowl. It was blessedly silent for a while, but-

With Wukong sitting right behind him, watching his every move, even stress baking wasn't able to help Macaque relax.

Not to mention the flowers in his chest that were once again begging to make themselves known.

Macaque forced the flurry of emotions and petals back down as much as he could. He flicked an ear, listening behind him.

Wukong was still there. Why was he still there-

Macaque slammed the bowl down on the kitchen island, barely avoiding chipping it, and taking brief pleasure in how he could hear the Wukong's breath catch, before the Monkey King descended into a small coughing fit, probably from surprise at the shadow monkey's sudden movements. Macaque turned back around to face Wukong, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so.

"What do you want from me?" He hissed, his tail swishing back and forth from agitation. Wukong's tail swished too, but Macaque could tell that his was a sign of nervousness.

"Ah, oh nothing." Wukong said, his hands behind his back as his legs swayed back and forth over the counter. "Just making sure you don't actually decide to poison anything."

"If I had poison, you and I both know that I would have used it already." Macaque said, "I don't even think there's anything I could even use as poison on this ship."

"...Point taken." Wukong said, leaning forwards and resting his chin on his right hand.

(He kept his other hand tucked in behind his back. Macaque did pick up on Wukong seemingly acting suspicious, but was far too focused on trying to get the Monkey King out of the kitchen to actually think much of it.

Something that Wukong was extremely grateful for, as it gave him the time to actually hide the crushed flower petals in his palm within one of his pockets.)

"Um, so uh, how do you know if the kid and the others are all okay?" Macaque asked, deciding to try a new tactic of getting Wukong out of the kitchen, hoping that the Monkey King's stupid over-protectiveness would prompt him to leave the room, which would let Macaque finally bake in peace.

"Oh, I left a hair clone with them." Wukong said, and Macaque slumped, his hopes dashed. "...Say, on a different subject, how do you know if it tastes good?"

"Huh?" Macaque asked, befuddled for a moment before remembering the cake bowl on the table behind him. "Oh- the cake? Well, I don't know really, usually I just sell it or something... Not that I really do this often, mind you! This isn't- I don't- I'm- wait. You want to taste test it more, to get free samples, don't you?"

Wukong simply gave a non-commital shrug, but the smirk on his face gave his intentions away. Macaque sighed wearily, before pulling a smaller spoon out of a nearby drawer with his tail, scooping a bit of cake batter into it, and tossing the spoon at Wukong, mentally willing the utensil to hit the Monkey King smack dab on the forehead.

The utensil, unfortunately, did not, in fact, obey Macaque's wills, as Wukong caught it with ease, and started licking the cake batter off of it, his tail wagging happily.

Macaque bit the inside of his cheek, nearly drawing blood as he used the pain to push the flowers in his throat back down, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he realized just how... cute the other looked in the current moment.

...No, nope, absolutely not-

Macaque spun back around, throwing himself entirely into the task of mixing the last of the ingredients together, and doing his upmost best to ignore the monkey sitting behind him.

Wukong's incessant humming was absolutely not helping in any way shape or form.

Things continued on, Macaque making the cake and occasionally tossing a batter covered spoon over his shoulder so that Wukong could taste it.

(Macaque silently told himself that he was doing it in the hopes that Wukong would become satisfied and leave, already-

But, deep down, he knew it was just because he liked seeing the other monkey happy.)

Macaque dumped the cake batter into a pan, setting the now empty mixing bowl off to the side before shoving the pan into the oven, and setting a small timer.

When he looked back over to where he had placed the mixing bowl, fully intent on washing it and proceeding to use it to make some icing, the bowl was gone.

"What the-" He started, looking around bewildered, before realizing what must have happened.

Sure enough, Wukong had the bowl on his lap, and was using a spoon to scrape the remaining cake batter out of it, to eat.

"...It's not like you were gonna use it anymore... right?" Wukong asked, almost looking sheepish as he realized Macaque was staring at him, and he curled around the bowl protectively.

Macaque glared at him, using his magic to make his eyes flash purple and make the room grow slightly darker.

"Get out of my kitchen before I retract my truce card and cash in on punching you in the face." He threatened.

Although the threat didn't hold much weight (Macaque would probably end up breaking his hand punching Wukong before he could ever hope to actually injure the other) Wukong still scrambled to get out of the room, taking the bowl and spoon with him as he went.

As Wukong rushed pass Macaque in his haste to leave, their tails lightly brushed together.

And that was the last straw for Macaque, who, once he was sure the other was gone, hurried to turn on the sink to cover up the sound of his coughing.

'..........Stupid monkey....' Macaque thought, leaning over the sink and watching flour and flowers go down the drain.

-

MK found Wukong in the hallway, with petals falling out of both the Monkey King's pocket and his mouth. He seemed to be spacing out, lost within his own thoughts.

He was still carrying the mixing bowl.

"...So I take it you didn't confess to Macaque?" MK asked, sounding almost disappointed.

"What- no- why on Earth would I confess?" Wukong asked, snapping out of his reverie. MK merely shrugged in response, but mentally he cursed.

'I was so sure that baking together would settle this whole mess once and for all.' He thought, watching as Wukong balance his bowl in one hand and softly rubbed a spot on his tail with the other. 'I guess it's back to the drawing board...

....Maybe the others would have some ideas?'

-

"How to get someone with Hanahaki to confess?" Tang asked, setting his book to the side. "MK, you know that's not really a thing you can force, I mean, look at how long it took Pigsy and I-"

"I know, I know, the both of you have told me about your confession, and how long it took to get there, multiple times." MK said, rolling his eyes. "But like, this is worse than you guys, which honestly, before now I didn't think it was possible, but. This has been going on for centuries."

"...I feel like there's a majorly important piece of information I'm missing here." Tang said, leaning forwards with renewed interest. "Who, exactly, has Hanahaki?"

MK paused, debating for a moment on whether or not he should actually tell him.

But, well, it was kind of obvious, and he seriously needed help getting the two of them together, so-

"Monkey King and Macaque." MK said, before adding, for clarification; "Both of them have it. For each other."

"Oh. Oh, that makes so much sense." Tang said, sounding as though pieces of a centuries old puzzle had magically connected right before his eyes. "...I'm sorry though, I can't help you."

"...Oh. Okay, I'll just ask someone else then-"

"However. I am not opposed to starting a betting pool."

-

"Hanahaki? Why would I know anything about Hanahaki?" Red Son asked, sounding oddly nervous as MK stood in the door way to his room. "...Why are you even asking me about it anyways?"

"Because Monkey King and Macaque have been pining for centuries, even back during the Journey to the West if the stories from Mei's great grandfather are to be believed, and while I've only been witness to a small portion of it, and I guess it's kinda been amusing, I am so done with it, like-" MK waved his hands around in frustration. "Why won't they just confess already?!"

"...I'm....sure they have their reasons." Red Son said, "What... did Mei say, about this, exactly?"

"Oh, she just laughed when I told her about it, and then cemented her place in the betting pool." MK said.

"There's a betting- Noodle Boy, why didn't you start with the betting pool?!"

-

Red Son had, in fact, already known about Macaque's Hanahaki.

That kind of thing was a little hard to miss when you're locked up in a cell with someone for an extended period of time.

Finding out Wukong also had Hanahaki came as a little bit of a surprise (though, really, now that he knew about it, it was kind of obvious, but as they say, 20/20 hindsight-).

Outside of making bets though, Red Son was mostly content to just sit back and watch the two monkeys stumble around each other. Sure, he did think their inability to confess made them cowards, but.

At least MK was too wrapped up in his frustration over the monkeys drama to notice the fire demon coughing up smoke and petals behind him.

-

Wukong slowly sneaked into the room, as quietly as he possibly could. Staying low to the ground, he tip toed over to the shelf, cautiously reaching up-

Only for someone to grab a hold of his hand, stopping him from reaching his prize. A nearby lamp flicked on, and Wukong looked up to see Sandy intently staring down at him.

"...Hi." Wukong said, laughing nervously as he slipped his hand out of Sandy's grip. "Um. I totally wasn't sneaking around or anything, I was just... sleep walking?"

"...I see." Sandy said, reaching over and taking one of the tea tins off of the shelf. "In that case, this one right here will do wonders to improve your sleep-"

"Ah, oh, no thank you, it's fine, I can handle it." Wukong said, subtly scanning the shelf of teas, slumping slightly when he couldn't seem to find the one that he wanted. Upon seeing the monkey's dejected face, Sandy sighed.

"Is this what you were looking for?" He asked, pulling a tin of tea out from behind his back. Wukong looked at it in shock.

"How'd you-" He started.

"It was just a lucky guess." Sandy said, setting the tin in Wukong's waiting hands. "Use it sparingly though, I'm running a little low on supplies right now. Oh, and be careful with the side effects, okay? Stop taking it if anything seriously bad starts to happen."

"...Thank you." Wukong said, pocketing the tea tin and turning to leave Sandy's room.

"Oh, one more thing." Sandy said, causing Wukong to pause mid-step. "The next time you try sneaking around in the dark, use a stronger glamour over your eyes. The glow seriously gives you away."

"...Duly noted."

-

It smelled like smoke.

That was the first thing Macaque noticed as he stepped out of the shadows in the corner of the storage room. Immediately, he tensed up, his fur standing on end. After all, where there was smoke, there was usually fire as well. And although Macaque would never, never admit it... he wasn't exactly the most... fond of fire.

(A capture hero, trapped and unaware.

A burning mountain, the air choked by smoke.

And an abandoned warrior, trying desperately to escape the mountain's flames.)

But... Macaque couldn't hear any of the noises that usually accompanied something burning. Instead all he could hear was someone's slightly irregular heart beat, and their wheezing breaths.

Macaque forced himself to walk forwards, curiosity starting to over power his caution.

He rounded the shelf of boxes just in time to see Red Son cough out more smoke, along with a few burnt petals.

Macaque paused, knowing the other had yet to actually see him, as he pondered what to do next. His hands twitched towards the edge of his scarf, but he kept himself frozen.

On the one hand, he could just turn around and leave before Red Son could even notice him. As was said before, Macaque was truly not very fond of fire, and despite having spent at least two days trapped with the fire demon, Macaque hadn't really gotten over his general...wariness of him.

On the other hand though, now that he'd seen the other demon, Macaque's curiosity was peaked.

...Well, they say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, so-

"Who's it for?" Macaque asked, chuckling a little to himself as Red Son startled, finally noticing the other's presence.

"What?" He asked, looking at the shadow monkey in shock and confusion.

"Your Hanahaki." Macaque elaborated, "Who is it for, Mei or MK?"

Red Son remained silent for another moment, blinking in confusion, before the question, along with what was currently happening, seemed to register within his brain, and a furious blush over took his face, a few sparks flying off of him.

(At the sight of said sparks, Macaque took a hesitant step back, glancing around for anything that was possibly flammable.

Red Son was far too wrapped up within his own emotions to notice the monkey's anxiety.)

He sputtered for a moment, struggling and failing to come up with a proper response.

"...Both. It's, It's both of them." He eventually muttered under his breath, avoiding eye contact with Macaque as he shyly rubbed his arm.

"What was that? Sorry, I didn't hear you the first time, could you say that again?" Macaque said, not at all surprised by this new development and instantly deciding that now was the perfect opportunity to mess with the fire demon.

"You damn well did hear me and we both know it." Red Son said, shifting from flustered to angry in the blink of an eye.

...Macaque outright laughed at hm.

"Oh, oh, like you're one to laugh." Red Son said, "I know all about your thing for Monkey King. You're in the same boat as I am, both literally and figuratively."

"...Okay, first of all, we are in an airship, not a boat." Macaque said, leaning 'casually' against a wall of supply boxes. "Secondly- I have literally no idea what you're talking about."

"Why haven't you confessed yet?" Red Son said, moving on with his line of thinking and completely ignoring the shadow monkey's denial.

"Conf- I, I could ask you the exact same question!" Macaque said, caught off guard before pulling himself together and recovering. "Why haven't you confessed?"

"I, am simply waiting for the right time. I'm planning a big romantic gesture, I'll have you know." Red Son said, "You, on the other hand, are simply being a pining idiot."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Macaque denied yet again, a slight growl making it's way into his voice as his eyes flashed purple.

Red Son wasn't impressed.

"Your pitiful attempts at denial and intimidation have little to no effect on me." He said, "Seriously, just admit that you're in love with Monkey King already. Pretty much everyone else already knows about it."

"...I won't say I'm in love."

"Do not start the random musical numbers again, you already did it far too many times when we were trapped together in that cell, and if I have to bear one more minute of it I will not hesitate to toss you overboard."

-

The tea was bitter.

Very bitter.

Still though, it tasted leagues better than weed killer, which had been a not very well though through experience that Wukong never ever wanted to repeat.

And the tea worked better too, repressing, the flowers better than humming or the previously stated weed killer ever could.

Still though, there was a reason as to why Wukong had never opted to try this method before.

Said reason, of course, being the side effects.

He sighed, staring at how there were now purple flecks within his red eyes. Nothing that his usual glamours couldn't cover, but his magic was dwindling fast. He would have to start cutting a few corners soon if he didn't want to end up completely and utterly powerless, and the glamours concealing his height and eye colour would probably end up having to be the first ones to go.

Other than that though, it was concerning that the eye colour change was happening so soon, not to mention the speed at which it was progressing. A change in eye colour was the most common starting side effect of repressing Hanahaki, after that... things start to tend to become strange and rather unpredictable. The list of side effects caused by repressing Hanahaki was miles long, and was always having new things added to it- the reaction seemed to always depend on the person.

Basically, Wukong had literally no idea of what the side effect would be for him, nor how he could prepare for them.

And, of course, this meant he wouldn't be able to know how to hide them either.

-

When Wukong woke up the next morning and found that his eyes had already turned fully purple, a faint sense of unease settled itself over him like how a morning mist settles in a forest. He supposed he should've expected this to happen quick, he was repressing thousands of years of pining after all, but still, he hadn't been expecting it to progress this fast....

He felt fine though, nothing different than usual. (He did feel a bit weaker, but that had already been happening before the tea. No, that was something else.) For a moment he wondered if his immortality had made him completely immune to any possible side effects, but immediately shot that idea down, as if that had been the case, his eyes wouldn't have changed colour at all.

Wukong exited his room, throwing his usual glamours back on just in case, and made his way to the ship's kitchen as quietly as possible, he'd awoken a bit earlier than usual this morning, and didn't want to accidentally wake any of the others up.

Warming up the kettle and taking the tea tin out of the pocket (he sadly noted that it was almost empty already), he carefully followed the instructions on the side of the tin, not wanting to mess anything up and risk the tea not working.

A few minutes later, and Wukong sat at the kitchen table, spacing out a little as he slowly sipped his Hanahaki Repressing Tea.

He was starting to almost fall asleep in his chair when Pigsy entered the kitchen.

"Morning." Pigsy greeted, looking Wukong up and down with a mix of worry and suspicion. "You're not usually up this early, is something wrong?"

'No, I'm fine, perfectly fine.' Was what Wukong wanted to say.

Instead though, no sound left his mouth at all.

Oh.

Oh shit.

-

It wasn't every day that someone say Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, speechless.

Today, however, seemed to be one of the days where he was.

Pigsy watched as Wukong's mouth clicked shut, panic briefly flashing across his face before being replaced with an easily recognizable nervous smile as the monkey drew his tea cup closer to himself, as though to hide it. Pigsy rolled his eyes, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from Wukong, immediately noticing how the monkey avoided eye contact entirely.

"Experiencing the side effects, huh?" Pigsy asked, "Don't give me that surprised look. Even if Sandy hadn't told me about you taking the tea, you're being rather obvious right now."

Wukong visibly winced at that, sipping his tea again.

"How exactly do you plan to get through the day without being able to talk huh?" Pigsy asked, leaning forwards slightly. "Surely you must have some plan prepared."

Wukong started to shake his head no, to show that he didn't, in fact, have any plan here, but then he paused, looking thoughtful.

A sudden pang ran through Pigsy's mind, and he gripped the sides of his head, looking down at the table as he winced, trying to collect himself, feeling as though he'd been set off balance.

"-an you hear me?" Wukong's voice was faint and echoey, before growing stronger. "Can you hear me? Hello-"

"Yes I can fucking hear you." Pigsy said, looking back up, and proceeding to be almost shocked (but at the same time really not) to find that there were now two Wukong's sitting across from him. The new Wukong was obviously Wukong's golden astral projection form, as it perfectly matched how MK had described it.

Or well, it almost matched perfectly...

"Oh, good." Wukong said, via astral connection, "I wasn't sure this would work, but since it does I can just talk to the others like this-"

"Does this form of yours normally look like.... well, that?" Pigsy asked, interrupting.

"...What?" Wukong took a moment to analyze his astral form.

Unlike MK's description of it being 'Monkey King but in gold, like a shiny pokemon', Wukong currently had three tails, one pink, one red, and one purple. Said colours were also splashed all over his astral body, almost giving him a sunset-like appearance.

"...Huh. That's new." Wukong said, "I guess the side effects go deeper than I thought."

"Is this something we should be more concerned about?" Pigsy asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, no, it's fine. At least, it's far better compared to everything else. Maybe. Probably." Wukong said, the nervous smile on both his real self and his astral self growing slightly bigger.

"...Everything else? Probably?" Pigsy questioned, sitting up straighter with worry.

"...Ah, you weren't meant to hear that part." Wukong said, wincing. "Which I suppose that means it's time for me to go-"

"Hey, wait-" Pigsy started, but didn't manage to get any words out as Wukong abruptly closed the astral connection, before standing up and leaving the room faster than the other could ever hope to follow. Pigsy sighed as he caught the barest glimpse of Wukong's tail going out the door.

That damn monkey was definitely going to need a serious intervention one of these days.

-

"Monkey King this is an intervention." MK said, crossing his arms as he tried to do his best impersonation of one of Tang's infamous glares. He assumed he failed miserably, given Mei's muffled snickering, but Wukong at least shrunk down sheepishly, so he must've been doing something right.

MK sighed as a pang ran through his head, having expected it- before blinking in shock at the astral image that now stood before him.

"Why do I need an intervention? I'm perfectly fine." Wukong said, both his real self and his astral self smiling nervously- and the three other astral copies of him mimicked the motion. One was pink, one was purple, and one was red. They were each surrounded by a faint golden glow, and were each connected to the main golden astral version of Wukong by their tails.

"You- you are definitely not fine!" MK shouted, still having not recovered from the shock, and wasn't given any more time to try and process what he was seeing as the three bonus Wukong's started speaking.

"Shit." The red one hissed, frustration in his voice. "Fuck." (MK blinks, shocked to hear any version of his mentor swear, and immediately decides to smack Wukong on the arm the next time his mentor tries to reprimand him for swearing.)

"At least he's learning how to read people better, now he won't get tricked as easily." The pink one said, sounding almost....proud?

"I won't be able to trick him anymore either- He's catching on. He's starting to catch on now-" The purple one said, panicked. "I need to lie, lie lie lie-"

"Once again, I don't know what you're talking about." The golden, normal Wukong insisted, seemingly ignorant to the existence of the others.

MK had, of course, set up this intervention to talk about how Wukong tended to repress his emotions, (specifically those concerning a certain shadow monkey), but he definitely hadn't been prepared for... whatever all this is.

"Are you fucking seeing this?" He asked Mei.

"I'm not seeing shit." Mei said, wrapping her arm around MK's shoulder and lightly knocking their heads together, as though doing so would transfer the images that MK was seeing into her own brain.

"Language." All four astral Wukong's said, in perfect unison, and MK reached over and smacked the real Wukong on the arm for his hypocrisy.

The hastily put together intervention steadily went downhill from that point forwards, Mei complaining about not having been let in to the Astral Connection, and Wukong closing said connection the instant that MK had revealed the existence of the astral copies to him. The Monkey King had left the room rather swiftly after that, and MK sighed, for what seemed to be the millionth time since he'd found out about his mentor's Hanahaki.

He would have to do a much better, and much more well put together intervention next time.

-

Wukong ended up running out of tea the next day.

On the one hand, this was a good thing, as it meant he would only have to wait a day or so for the side effects to finally wear off, and he could go back to actually speaking again.

But on the other hand, this meant that he'd be back to coughing up flowers again, much, much sooner than he would like.

Wukong sighed, leaning against the railing of the ship, watching the sunset. He could probably jump off the ship and find the materials needed to make the tea himself, but without his cloud sail, it would certainly cost him precious time.

Time that he currently absolutely could not waste.

So he resigned himself to what would have to happen, and tried to mentally prepare himself for the flowers that would return within the next twenty four hours.

.....For some reason, he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched....

-

In his many years of having known Wukong, Macaque had never seen him be quiet.

But he sure was quiet now, leaning against the ship railing, peacefully watching the sun as it dipped below the horizon.

(The fading colours of the sun reflected perfectly off of Wukong's fur, covering the other in golds, red, purples, and pinks, and overall making him look really pre-

No, nope, Macaque absolutely could not think about that right now, if he started coughing up flowers here and now it was sure to be noticed, and he absolutely couldn't have that happen.)

Macaque really wanted to consider the silence a blessing, finally, a break from the seemingly endless amount of chitter-chatter-

But instead, he couldn't help but feel worried.

Sliding back down to hide behind the crate he'd been sitting on before Wukong had come out onto the deck twenty minutes ago, Macaque lightly chewed on the edge of his scarf, thinking.

Option one: he waltzes over there, throws on a Perfect Smile, and asks Wukong what's wrong. Maybe he could even throw in a jab or two, or say it sarcastically in order to hide his very real concern.

Option two: he sneaks past Wukong, reenters the ship, and hides out inside of his room until he feels confident enough that these stupid emotions have passed.

Macaque was just deciding on option two- when the shadows surrounding him shifted.

Glancing up, he found that Wukong was now holding the crate the shadow monkey had been hiding behind over his head, and was staring down at him, unimpressed.

"...Hi?" Macaque said, letting the edge of his scarf fall out of his mouth and glamouring away any sign that he'd been chewing on it in the first place. "Um. Fancy meeting you here?"

If possible, Wukong's unimpressed look deepened.

"I was- I was here first, I'll have you know." Macaque said, hurriedly standing up, brushing non-existent dirt off of his clothes. "I don't really appreciate you encroaching on my personal space."

Wukong's expression did not waver, but he did set the crate down to the side, so at least Macaque no longer had to worry about having it be thrown at him. Still though, Wukong continued to stare, so maybe he wasn't out of the woods yet.

"So uh, what's with the whole silent act, huh?" Macaque asked, trying his best to be nonchalant about it. He hoped the response would be something meaningless, like a silly little bet or something along those lines.

He didn't expect to receive no verbal response at all, with Wukong's expression shifting away from unimpressed to something Macaque immediately identified as nervous.

Which....probably meant that this really was something to be concerned about.

Which probably also meant that asking any more about it would eventually result in some kind of long, emotional talk, which absolutely was not Macaque's forte.

...Well, he'd been planning to go with option number two from the beginning, so-

"Welp, this was a nice talk." Macaque said, "But, unfortunately, I have some other stuff that need to be tended to so.... bye!"

And with that, Macaque awkwardly flashed a peace sign, before falling down into the shadows, reappearing within the comforts of his own room. Deciding that he'd definitely had enough for one day, he crawled into his bed, pulling the covers over his head and trying his best to banish any thoughts of Wukong from his mind as he fell asleep.

-

He'd tried to sleep.

Really, he'd tried.

But after his third petal coughing fit of the night (courtesy of his brain refusing to forget how beautiful Wukong looked in the light of the sunset), Macaque gave up.

Which was why he was currently sitting on the couch, staring at the shadows on the wall, letting his mind play tricks on himself, making it seem like the darkness was moving.

He startled when he heard the sound of someone walking down the hallway.

Macaque wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been up for, but something told him that it was still far too early for even the early-risers to be up and about.

It was at the exact moment that someone sluggishly entered the room that Macaque remembered his glamours were down, and he tensed, knowing it was far too late and that he was far too tired to throw them on now.

He relaxed ever so slightly once he realized that the one who had entered the room had seen him glamourless multiple times before.

...Still though. What was Wukong doing up so late?

"...Got nightmares? I hope they're all about me." Macaque said, almost instantly cringing at the words coming out of his mouth, wanting to take them back and shove them into whatever sleep deprived corner of his mind they had come from.

Funnily enough though, Wukong didn't react at all, there wasn't even a small twitch of the ear or tilt of the head to even indicate that the other had even heard him.

There was a beat of silence, and Macaque chewed on the edge of his scarf, distracting himself from the awkwardness of it all by focusing on the sounds of the ship at night.

The beeping of the autopilot, the whir of the engines, the quiet sleeping sounds of the others, Wukong's steady, slow heart beat...

His.... slow heart beat...

"Oh" Macaque breathed, his voice partially muffled as he still had part of his scarf in his mouth. "You're sleep walking."

A contradictory mixture of concern and relief flooded through him at this realization. For a moment he just sat there, watching as Wukong continued to sluggishly make his way around the room.

And then Wukong bumped into the edge of the coffee table, and Macaque got up in record time, ready to catch the other if he fell-

Only to pull himself back as Wukong righted himself, still fast asleep. Macaque sighed, sitting back down on the couch. Why had he even been worried? There was literally nothing to worry about here, Wukong was literally invulnerable, he'd be fine. This was fine.

He rescinded that thought when Wukong suddenly turned, slowly but surely making his way towards Macaque. The shadow monkey watched the other's approach warily, stiffening when Wukog clumsily crawled onto the couch beside him.

Macaque stayed as still as possible, practically frozen, and partially hoping Wukong would get back up and sleep walk his way back to his own bed.

That, of course, didn't happen, and Macaque barely bit back a gasp, the edge of his scarf falling from his mouth to rest on his lap, as Wukong's tail found and curled around Macaque's own.

'Okay.' Macaque thought, feeling the flowers surge within his chest, as well as a faint tingling sensation covering most of his body (it had been a while, since he'd had any positive affection). 'Okay. I can handle this.'

And then Wukong leaned against him, his head resting on Macaque's shoulder.

'I can not handle this.'

-

When Wukong woke up in the early morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was not, in fact, in his bedroom.

'Ah. I slept walked again.' He thought, wincing, slowly pushing himself up. '...At least I didn't collapse in the middle of the hallway or inside of MK's room this time...'

The second thing he noticed was fabric sliding off of him, landing in a pool on the floor.

Leaning over and picking it up, he instantly identified it as Macaque's scarf.

He'd. Been sleeping while curled around Macaque's scarf.....

Almost immediately, he started coughing, purple petals falling from his mouth.

'Well. There goes the last effects of the tea.'

(When Macaque opened his door later on in the after noon, he would find his scarf sitting on the floor in front of him, perfectly folded.

He would find a singular purple petal within it upon unfolding it, but immediately dismiss it as being unimportant.)

-

"Why is it a forest, why did the engine need to malfunction and land us in a forest." Macaque complained, laying in the shadow of a tree, staring up into the branches as though the tree would give him an answer.

"Hey, it's better than a mountain." Wukong said, setting down a glass of lemonade beside the other monkey, before turning to hand another one off to Tang. (Pigsy had, for reasons unknown, made Wukong act as his waiter for the day. Nobody was quite sure why, and from the way Wukong glared whenever the subject was brought up, they figured it was best not to ask). "Can you hear how MK and the others are doing though, they've been gone for a while..."

"Why don't you just use your cloud to go check on them?" Macaque groaned, but still did what had been asked of him, tilting his head to the side, listening intently. After a moment, he was able to pin point the trio's voices. As for what they were saying....

Macaque smirked.

"They're fine." He said, "Although, they might be another few minutes before they come back."

When the trio came out of the forest wearing flower crowns, Macaque mentally cheered.

(After somebody with Hanahaki confesses, the flowers need somewhere to go. Usually they simply pop out of the ground around the person who has confessed.

It was a popular tradition to make and wear flower crowns using said flowers if your love was reciprocated.)

"Oh, did Red Son finally confess?" Tang asked, "We've been waiting on that for like. Ever."

"Oh heavens- Was I the only one who didn't know?" MK said, hiding his face in his hands.

"Oh no, I don't think Monkey King here knew either." Sandy said, lightly patting Wukong on the head. Wukong had been adorned with a look of utter shock since the trio had returned, but now he finally broke out of his surprise, and before the trio could even think to move, Wukong had grabbed hold of them, lifting them up a little in an excited hug.

"Oh my gosh- I'm so happy for you!" He said, only putting them down as Red Son started struggling. "We've- we've gotta throw a party- Pigsy can we throw a party-"

Macaque rolled his eyes, blocking out the current party planning, going back to staring at the sky through the tree branches.

"...Macaque."

Macaque looked over to see Red Son standing beside him.

"...Yes?" Macaque asked.

"...I'm braver than you are."

"What the fuck does that mean-"

-

Of course, Wukong had ended up deciding that they couldn't have the party on the ship. For some reason or another, he was utterly convinced that this party had to be big, which, of course, meant that there had to be a large space to hold it in.

...Had the situation been different, he would've brought everyone to Flower Fruit Mountain.

As it was, he found the next best thing.

"How the fuck did you know about my family hide out?" Red Son asked, watched as Wukong knocked three times on the door.

"You forget I was friends with your father, Red Boy." Wukong said, sending Red Son a smirk. "Oh, and watch your language."

The rest of the group stood slightly behind them, some of them prepared to run away if, somehow, this went awry.

Luckily enough, they didn't have to worry. Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan took the fact that Red Son was now dating his former enemies surprisingly well, and were fully willing to let them use the base to hold a party.

Wukong, surprisingly enough, ended up being the one to regret the decision to come here, the realization that maybe he had made a mistake hitting when Demon Bull King grabbed him by the back of his scarf, lifting him into the air. Wukong went slack immediately, knowing that struggling would be futile.

"The rest of you can keep sorting things out." Demon Bull King said, "I would like to have a few.... words with the simian."

And with that he turned, walking out of the room and bringing Wukong with him.

-

Demon Bull King entered a smaller room, reaching and closing the door behind him as he did so. Unceremoniously, he let go of Wukong's scarf and let the monkey drop down to the floor. Wukong let out an 'oof' as he hit the solid concrete.

"Ow." He hissed, glaring up at Demon Bull King. "Ya could have been a little more gentle there, Bull King."

"You can handle it." Demon Bull King said, "Now, onto the real matter of business. You haven't confessed yet, have you."

"What? Oh, is that what this is all about- I mean, I have no idea what you're talking about." Wukong said, laughing nervously. Demon Bull King stared down at him, unimpressed.

"So I'm right, you really still haven't confessed." Demon Bull King sighed, "Really, I expected better from you. Oh well, I suppose it is a good thing that my son is braver than you, not that that's very hard."

"Ouch." Wukong said, slightly jokingly. "You...really aren't pulling back your punches today huh."

"You trapped me under a mountain. I can be permitted to throw a few heavy hits." Demon Bull King said, "As it is though, if you do not confess sooner rather than later, you may miss your chance."

"Huh?"

"Do not make me out to be a fool, Sun Wukong. I can see the way your body grows weaker." Demon Bull King stared pointedly at a scrape Wukong had gotten on his hand when he'd been dropped onto the floor. Wukong, following the other's gaze, hid it behind his back. "You can't hide it from me. A month ago that fall would've been nothing to you. The Lady Bone Demon has affected you more than you're letting on."

"...So what if she has?" Wukong asked, "It's fine, it doesn't really mean anything, my powers will come back to their full strength sooner or later, you know."

"When I carried you, you weighed a little heavier than you used to."

"Hey now, don't go making comments about my weight!" Wukong said, letting the glamour on his eyes drop so that he could give Demon Bull King the red-eyed glare. "Seriously, I don't know what you think you've figured out, but just, drop it, okay?"

"...If that is what you wish." Demon Bull King sighed, opening the door and standing slightly to the side in order to let Wukong through first. "Promise me one thing though, for the sake of our old friendship."

"...Of course."

"Please confess before the time runs out."

"I'll... I'll try."

-

The party had been great.

In fact, the party had been spectacular.

Which was why, of course, that merely a week after the party, their luck seemingly ran out.

One of the Lady Bone Demon's 'followers' attacked the group during a supply run. Somehow, someway, Wukong and Macaque had managed to draw it away from the others, giving the rest of the group ample time to get the ship loaded and get everyone to a safe place.

Now all the two monkeys had to do was find a way for themselves to escape.

Macaque ducked under a wave of magic, glancing over at Wukong, hoping that the other would have some kind of plan.

He could immediately tell from the look on the other's face that he did not, in fact, have any sort of plan.

Macaque kept dodging as he watched Wukong impulsively take the offensive, sliding under a wave of magic, running up and jumping to kick the demon in the face- Only for the demon to catch him by the foot, spinning him around and tossing him. Wukong's back slammed against the mountain they'd ended up fighting beside, and he fell onto one knee for a moment.

And then he slowly stood back up, his fur messed up. He used his sleeve to wipe some blood away from the corner of his mouth, his eyes burning red and oh-

Oh, that was kinda hot-

Macaque immediately cursed letting himself get distracted, as the flowers grew in his chest, and he stumbled, wheezing as a few golden petals fell out of his mouth.

A wave of magic hit him from behind, knocking him to the ground and sending him skidding over to where Wukong now stood.

"Shit- are you okay?" Wukong asked, keeping one eye on the demon, who simply watched them in slight amusement, as he helped the shadow monkey back to his feet. Macaque glanced between the demon and Wukong, feeling the flowers in both his throat and his mouth.

Fuck, he wouldn't be able to win this fight if he stayed like this, in this state.

...Which only left him one option.

Taking only the barest of seconds to prepare himself, Macaque grabbed a hold of both side of Wukong's face, ignoring the monkey's confused squeak as he made sure their eyes met.

"I love you." Macaque said, a single petal falling out of his mouth.

"...I love you too?" Wukong said, confusion and shock filling his face.

"Wait, what?" Macaque asked, but was given no time to question it as the demon seemingly had enough of waiting, and threw a whip of magic at them, the two monkeys having to separate from each other and leap to different sides in order to avoid the attack. As the dust from the attack settled, Macaque locked eyes with Wukong again, the Monkey King's face coloured with a blush, looking shocked, and Macaque was sure the expression was reflected on his own face.

"You love me too?!" He asked, sliding to the side, to avoid another attack.

"Yes!" Wukong shouted, backflipping out of the way of a burst of flame.

"Then why did you say it as a question?!" Macaque asked, slowly making his way back over to the other monkey while avoiding the demon's attempts to hit him at the same time.

"I don't know, why did you confess in the middle of a fight!?" Wukong asked, mirroring the other monkey's movements.

"It seemed like the best option!" Macaque said, leaping over top of another magic whip, spinning around and finding himself back to back with Wukong. "I- I didn't really think it through."

"And people say that I'm the impulsive one." Wukong muttered, deflecting a beam of magic away from them with his wrist.

"I heard that." Macaque hissed, turning ever so slightly to glare at him.

"I know." Wukong said- before turning and knocking Macaque to the ground, just in time for a blade to go sailing over top of them. "When did he get a scythe?!"

"How should I know?!" Macaque asked- before his ear twitched, and he grabbed Wukong's shoulders, rolling the both of over to the right, swapping their positions as the ground where they had previously been suddenly broke apart, a spike rising out of it. Both of them stared at it in shock, before glancing back at each other.

"Well, there's one thing that I think we both know." Wukong said, as Macaque stood up, pulling Wukong to his feet along with him. They both turned to glare at the demon. "And it's that we're starting to get real sick of this guy."

"...You know, I hear that there's a solar eclipse coming up." Macaque said, and Wukong immediately smirked.

The demon sent another blast of magic, and, still holding hands, the two of them stepped to the side, Macaque even taking things one step further, twirling Wukong as they dodged the blast, before pulling away, giving the Monkey King a small bow before falling down into the shadows. Wukong, smirk still wide on his face, turned to face the demon with a determined look.

Running forwards, swiftly moving left and right to stay out of the way of the demon's attacks, Wukong got himself right up in the demon's face. Jumping, he flipped backwards, hitting the demon in the chin with his foot as he did so, before landing on his feet slightly further back than he'd been before.

The demon rubbed his chin, eyes blazing with anger, and Wukong laughed.

"C'mon, is this the best you can throw at me?" He taunted, practically dancing out of the way of the spikes that shot out of the ground at him. "Surely you can do better than this!"

The demon growled, not seeing the trap for what it was, summoning his scythe and charging forwards. Wukong stayed where he was, smirk still firm in place on his face.

When the blade was almost close enough for Wukong to taste the tang of the metal, the shadows in front of him shifted.

Macaque shot up from the shadows, with a spear made out of the darkness, easily blocking the demon's attack, his eyes glowing purple as he stepped forwards, shadows still trailing and swirling around his feet as he forced the demon to take a step back.

The demon grit his teeth, so focused in trying to keep Macaque advancing any further- that he failed to notice as Wukong slid beside him, his eyes glowing red as he took power away from his glamours and channeled it into making sure this punch was the last one.

The strike hit, and Macaque stepped back, his fur rustled by the wind as the demon was sent flying past him, slamming into the mountain, hard.

The two monkeys stood there for a moment, panting, staring at the demon's prone form.

A minute passed, and that was all it took for the two of them to confirm that the demon was not going to be getting back up.

A sigh of relief left the two of them, Wukong falling down to sit on the ground, while Macaque slumped, leaning against his spear as the two of them took a moment to finally relax.

Only to jump as a field of yellow chrysanthemums and purple, flowering wisterias appeared around them.

The two of them stared around themselves in shock for a moment, Macaque dispelling his spear as he sank down to the ground beside Wukong. A breeze flew by, knocking loose a few petals, mixing yellow and purple together.

"...You know, I can't decide if these flowers are hilariously late or perfectly on time." Macaque said, and Wukong laughed.

"Say, who do you think has more flowers for them?" He asked, and the both of them took a second to think about it, looking out over the field. Wukong abruptly stood up. "Why don't we make some clones to help and find out?"

Macaque laughed, standing up and summoning his own shadow clones as Wukong blew on a few of his hairs, and they went to work, counting flowers.

...In the end, they ended up giving up after the third recount also ended up in a tie.

-

When the two of them finally returned to the ship, adorn in matching flower crowns, MK took one look at them, a brief expression of shock flickering on his face, before he fell backwards onto the couch, a strangled laugh escaping him.

"Fucking finally!"

[bonjour-rainycity]

The Long Way Around ~ Chapter 5

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623226519560617984/the-long-way-around-chapter-4

Pairing: Jasper x Reader

Word count: 1621

Warnings: None

Jasper’s POV

“And…checkmate.” I grin, unable to stop my satisfaction at beating Emmett. He grumbles, going on about how he should’ve known better than to play me at my own game. My smugness increases. “Anytime you want a rematch, you just let me know.”

“Whatever,” he mumbles, leaving the chess table to go sit with Rosalie on the couch and lay his head in her lap.

I look around the living room, searching for my next victim. I’m about to ask Arthur, but at that moment, Alice stands and declares they are leaving to hunt. Their emotions hint at a slightly different activity, but I don’t call them out on the lie. In this house, privacy is a luxury afforded to none. My eyes rest instead on Y/n laying on the floor reading a book. I grin, excited at the prospect of a new opponent. “Y/n, care for a game?”

She eyes me, contemplating. “Sure, but you’ll have to teach me.”

Surprise causes me to raise my eyebrows. “You don’t know how to play chess?” I regret the twinge of condescension in my voice. From her, I feel annoyance and the excitement of rising to a challenge.

“Actually,” she takes a seat in front of me and slowly gathers all the red pieces into a pile. “I’m from the twenty-first century, not the nineteenth, so chess is much less common. Oh, and also,”. She hits her head mockingly, as if suddenly remembering something. “I’m not a nerd.” At this she stares unflinchingly into my eyes. I can’t help the thrill that runs through me, nor the shocked laugh that escapes my lips. Her eyes sparkle, challenging me to retaliate. Of course I can’t back down now.

“Well then, miss.” I begin to set up the pieces on my side of the chess board. She mirrors my movements and quickly we have the whole board set. “Because I am such an altruistic person,” she cuts me off with a scoff, but there’s a grin behind it. I give her a pointed look and continue. “I will teach you how to play chess. But just know,” At this, I catch her glance, staring deeply into her eyes. “I can and will obliterate you.”

The corner of her mouth slowly quirks up into a half-smile. Then, in the flawless accent of a Southern Belle, she responds. “Why, that’s very ungentlemanly of you, Mr. Whitlock.” Then her eyes set, the determination in them clear. “But I wouldn’t appreciate anything less.”

I grin, delighted at this match of wits. She quickly catches on to the rules of the game, and, before I know it, we’re knee-deep in a match. I’m surprised when I actually feel bad about beating her. Thankfully, her emotions tell me that she’s not upset, only begrudgingly admiring of my skills.

She sits back in her chair, looking at me appraisingly. “Best two out of three?”

In my pocket, my phone buzzes. “Hold that thought. It’s Alice.” But then we hear the car in the driveway and the tantalizing scent reaches our noses. A human. All Hell breaks loose.

Y/n’s emotions flare as she becomes desperate to reach the unsuspecting human a half mile away. I’m temporarily choked by the intensity of her thirst as it threatens to overwhelm and send me into my own frenzy. Thankfully, Emmett and Rosalie don’t suffer from the same affliction and both lunge toward Y/n. She snarls, shoving Emmett off of her and into the wall. He barely catches himself in time to stop from going through it. Rosalie, always bold, gets a fistful of Y/n’s hair and grabs a wrist, flinging her back in my direction. Carlisle’s appeared now from his study and rushes to help restrain the deranged newborn.

Y/n shrieks, snarls, and begs to be let go. I stop her from biting Carlisle at the expense of gaining a bite of my own. It burns, but it’s nothing I’m not used to. Finally, I get her in a hold she can’t break free from.

Now that she’s restrained, I try reasoning with her. We need to calm her down enough to get her out of here before the human arrives. “Y/n stop, we need to get to the woods.”

She lets her weight drop and falls to her knees as she continues to struggle. It’s a common maneuver among newborns, so I was prepared and don’t let her out of my grip.

“Jasper, please.” Something in the way she says my name, so broken and desperate, makes me pause. And in that pause, she has her opportunity.

The minute she escapes my arms, Emmett lunges, catching her around the waist. She snaps and he narrowly avoids losing a chunk out of his shoulder. In a ball of snarls and flailing limbs, they roll outside, engaged in a vicious dance.

I shake my head, recovering from my uncharacteristic lapse in control and hurry to aid my brother. Rosalie follows and, between the three of us, we’re able to drag Y/n into the woods. Carlisle goes out front, presumably to redirect the unsuspecting driver.

“Chill out, Y/n, we’re taking you to feed.” Emmett’s words do nothing to console her. Y/n’s mind is consumed by one thing.

The further we get into the forest, the better I feel. Although we can remember it well, the actual scent of human blood is gone. Once she’s sure Emmett and I have a good hold on Y/n, Rosalie darts away and comes back in seconds, gripping a deer. She throws it at Y/n’s feet. Immediately, Y/n descends on the animal, quickly draining it of blood. This calms her enough for us to take her deeper into the forest and allow her to hunt for herself. Alice and Arthur catch up with us then, having hurried back from their escapade.

“Is she alright?” Alice’s worry is clear.

“It was a close call,” Rosalie mumbles from a couple hundred yards back, “but we managed. Some warning would have been nice.”

“Lay off, Rose, she called as soon as she had the vision,” Arthur hurries to defend his wife.

But I can’t focus too deeply on the budding argument behind me. My attention is honed in on Y/n as she slowly comes back to herself. Her emotions slam into me, the intensity of them nearly crushing.

Without saying anything, she turns and walks back to the house at a human pace. Emmett goes to follow, but Alice holds up a hand.

“She’s controlled now and the human is gone. She’s just going to go to her room.”

I turn to my adopted siblings. “Good work, guys, thanks for your help.”

Emmett only nods. “How’s your arm?”

I look down, having nearly forgotten the burning crescent-shaped bite on my forearm. “Nothing too bad. I’m gonna go and…” I shrug, gesturing in the direction of Y/n’s fading form. I don’t quite know if she’ll accept company, or worse, interpret it as babysitting, but I have to try. Even from far away I can feel her sadness.

I don’t try to catch up to her, instead choosing to leave some distance in case she wants to tell me to back off. But, honestly, I’m not even sure she notices me, which is cause for concern. She’s quiet once she reaches the house, only pausing briefly to offer Carlisle a heartfelt apology. He’s already forgiven her, of course, but that doesn’t help her feelings.

Carlisle stops me momentarily, clapping me on the back. I feel his gratitude, though I wonder why, given the fact that I’m the one who almost let Y/n eat the human. After passing Carlisle, I head upstairs to Y/n’s room.

She lays on her back, her legs parallel against the wall. Wordlessly, I sit next to her on the bed.

“I suck.” The dejection she feels is clear in her voice.

“No you don’t, it’s just part of being a-”

“I’m not looking for comfort, Jasper. I don’t really deserve that right now.”

I want so badly to disagree, but I can tell that stating so would only make things worse. Right now she’s deeply upset with herself and I’m honestly surprised she’s allowing me to be with her. I know how she feels, and not only because I can literally feel her feelings. But also because I’ve felt everything for myself. I’ve been in her shoes more times than I would like to count.

“I’m really, really sorry I bit you.” If she were a human, she would be crying. As it is, her voice is thick with emotion.

I chuckle quietly, making an effort at lightening the mood. “Want me to even the score?”

With a soft, sad smile she raises her arm, holding her wrist up to my mouth. “Let me have it.”

I’ve never really been good with affection, so I’m not exactly sure why I do what I do, other than that it just feels right. Instead of biting her, which of course I never actually would, I take her hand in both of mine and rest them in my lap.

“It’s going to be okay.”

She sighs, closing her eyes, and I feel her hesitancy to believe it as well as a slight lightening in the intensity of her sadness. Some prideful, stupid part of me wonders if I could have anything to do with that.

Instead of answering, she tightens her hand around mine. And I would by lying if I said that it wasn’t really, really nice.

A/n Let me know what you thought of this chapter and if you would like to be added to the tag list!

xx, 

Bjr

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623403705475219456/the-long-way-around-chapter-6

Tag list: @puer-de-infinitate @charliestuff @hindustani-diaspora @one-thread-can-save-a-life

[destiel-joshler69]

Alright I'm doing it again I guess... Just finished tua season 2 and here are my thoughts. Gonna break it down by characters probably. Spoilers Warning now!!!

1. Luther- didn't like him last season didn't get any better this season. He always looks so confused and worried and he just gets on my nerves plain and simple. Plus his sister crush is weird...ugh. I feel like he didn't really a purpose but being disproportionate.

2. Diego- yeah so I actually really liked Diego the first season the hero complex was always there but he was really annoying about it with this one. I kept waiting for him to like do something great and save the day but nay. However the bullet thing was pretty cool I will admit. It made me very sad when Reginald was hella mean to him and triggered his stutter. I think they made worried about the wrong things like lila(not a fan but I'll get into that later) also wth why was there no klaus and diego interactions no ma'am I was waiting for that.

3. Allison- liked her a whole lot better and I think it's because of ray they were great. I feel like she really put herself into the 60s and was making a difference I really liked that. The whole staring at the moon bit had me worried but I think ray helped her get over that weird affliction she had...ugh. Lowkey not too much to say on her I feel she was okay I guess.

4. Klaus- as always a joy a pleasure. He will always be my fav. Him being a cult leader made so much sense and I would totally join tf. Anyways yeah the dave thing I'm upset about cause I really wished he had gotten through to him and joined his cult lowkey. But of course they don't want klaus to be happy they have to break his sobriety whyyyy. Speaking of not giving klaus a break I was very shook to say the least when ben died frfr who's gonna be klaus's moral compass and then that flashback😭

5. Five- five was five. I didn't really like him last season but this season he was ok I guess. Idk when I'm watching a show I kinda see the actor's and not the characters and adian is just an interesting fella so it distracted me. Like this is a weird nitpick but the whole time he was doing this weird walk thing that was bothering me then I thought about I was like oh yeah he's old but then old man him showed up and did not walk like that at all I was confused why he made that choice idk he was alright tho

6. Ben- ben's always great of course. I really wanted him to be with jill but in a normal way ya know. However him dying was very unnecessary for him to be alive at the end looking all emo cause they screwed up the tl. Like fr why did he look like that I giggled a bit

7. Vanya- to me vanya is a very bland character more so in season 1 though. She definitely got better with the help of sissy. This relationship felt more natural than that mess from season 1 even though she's married. Umm the whole idk who I am thing was kind of drawn out but I guess. I'm really just glad her power still worked and it wasn't no hulk in infinity war situation. She was also tolerable.

Non siblings:

Harlan- LOVED HIM. This might sound stupid but I've always loved the silent types like ferb from phineas and ferb was my fav. He was great I think the actor did such a good job portraying such emotion and not even talking. Theory alert: The end where he still has his power has to be in connection to the Sparrow Academy I feel it.

Reg- WTF...that's all

Lila- the goddamn bang omggg she was not likeable I'm sorry. Not a fan end of story.

Pogo- very cute. I got really sad when he almost died in space but the saved him whew I was waiting on him to say his first word but they left that out for some reason.

Swedish Bros- I felt sooooo bad for the last one he really had to kill his brother with his bare hands..cold

Elliot- actually I take back my previous statement f them they took my man elliot for no reason dawg. He was so sweet and helpful but I knew it was coming cause they can never let those kind of people live on Netflix (yeah I'm looking at you Stranger Things)

Herb- another great one I'm glad he didn't die instead a promotion a whole king he deserved it.

Overall though I liked it at times it seemed kinda slow I felt like they had no urgency at all even though they were in danger which was kind of irritating. The Reginald reveal and the end was kind of random I don't read the comics so idk but I was like huh. But it makes sense at least for the tl to be freaked they were telling all kind of info. I almost like I was expecting something completely different but it was still good. Definitely liked the first one more though. Robert Sheehan is everything so yeah.

[cuntess-carmilla]

Update: I stopped taking psychiatric medication because they turned out to have only ever been of “help” because I have POTS/dysautonomia and one made my blood pressure rise (Wellbutrin) while the other kept it from going up too high (Lamotrigine).

Now that I’m taking meds that are for what I ACTUALLY do have (POTS/dysautonomia) not only do I not need the psychiatric meds, but they were throwing off everything else. I hate psychiatry so much. Can’t believe I turned out to be one of those people who had their physical illness mistreated as You’re Crazy for years haha. :) With that out of the way...

Some Many of my Opinions™ on psychiatry, as a psychiatrized person myself who does take medication, but hates the institutions of psychiatry and psychology, and thinks a large chunk of it is white pseudo-science:

A good amount of the issues that the psychiatric institution addresses ARE absolutely real and, as a society, people who’re afflicted by them should by all means receive help and support so they can live happier lives. I experience many of them and take medication to help myself, I obviously don’t think the difficult experiences people seek help for are made up.

At the same time, psychiatry and psychology as disciplines ARE made up (like every other discipline), making them not infallible or objective, AND they were built on eugenics, patriarchy, white supremacy and capitalist exploitation.

Those very real issues addressed by psychology/psychiatry aren’t actual literal pathologies. They don’t need to be literal tangible sicknesses in order to matter or be deserving of help and compassion. Your literal brain as a bodily organ is not physically “ill”, at least in most cases. It doesn’t need to be for your problems associated with an “ill mind” to be real and to matter. Remember, these disciplines were created at a time in history in which (white, male) doctors and theorists were obsessed with turning everything into a material, scientifically tangible subject that could be objectively measured with numbers and shit, hopefully medicalized or otherwise turned into “hard science”. That’s where ethnography came from. It’s called positivism, which is extremely dehumanizing, white supremacist and capitalist.

Psychology should be largely considered as much more of a metaphysical or philosophical discipline than as objective science, which is how most people perceive it to be. It’s mostly pure theory about emotions, thoughts, cognition, relationships and subjective experiences + perceptions -- which isn’t necessarily a bad thing on itself. It not being hard science doesn’t immediately delegitimize it. Get rid of the white capitalist idea that only (western, white) science and “objectivity” are real or of value. Actually, holding psychology to the standards of hard science turns it into pseudo-science, so... Yeah. I genuinely think we’d get so much further As A Society™ regarding psychology's potential to aid people who’re suffering if we treated it as more of a metaphysical or philosophical discipline than as some objective scientific truth.

Psychiatrists often are super ignorant of the actual way the medications they prescribe work or affect patients lmao. I had that almost ruin a whole semester at college because a shrink prescribed me meds that in combination she should’ve known would fuck me up. Not that much is known about how the human brain truly works compared to other human organs, you can’t expect psychiatric meds to be well tried and true. The research on psychiatric pharmacy is very lacking + biased in favor of pathologizing and controlling psychiatrized people, besides attempting to make the most profit under capitalism like any other capitalist industry, so of course they’re gonna prescribe you shit. Plus, like doctors of every other field, many psychiatrists arrogantly disregard the experiences, requests, questions and ideas of their patients, who’re the ones taking those meds.

Psychologists/therapists, just like psychiatrists, also disregard the experiences, requests, questions and ideas of their patients.

There’s such a strong element of power imbalance in how psychiatry and psychology function. The more a patient knows formal information about anything related to psychology/psychiatry, the more the shrink can get upset, distrustful and dismissive of them, saying they’re faking it, or telling them “not to do their jobs” when they so often do said jobs like shit anyway lmao no matter how thorough the research and understanding of the patient is.

Psychological and psychiatric diagnoses are just as made up as any other human construct (such as language, race, gender, etc). They’re not tangible realities as if shrinks had ran into a previously unknown objective fact of nature. In the realm of psychology, someone takes a bunch of traits and behaviors that by their observation they consider to be interconnected with one another, put them in the same bag, stick a label to said bag, and ask other psychologists if they agree with the bag being a thing. These considerations are heavily influenced by sociocultural bias. You can’t tell me it isn’t true that they’re made up and very subjective when “diagnoses” such as drapetomania, hysteria, homosexuality, gender identity disorder, etc, have been seriously considered at least by part of the psychiatric establishment of their times as legitimate mental disorders. Hell, some still consider being gay or trans to be mental disorders. Don’t get me started on "Oppositional Defiant Disorder”, that shit’s just evil.

A lot of the ideas spread by the psychiatric-psychological institution are legit pseudo-science that researches try time and time again to prove and end up coming with nothing, or they end up tweaking their own research or conclusions to maintain the established consensus that just so turns out to be very convenient to the people who make and sell psychiatric meds.

Many of the traits, emotions, thoughts, perceptions and behaviors that are pathologized by psychiatry and psychology aren’t inherently harmful. If they don’t make the patient or others suffer by their very nature (as opposed to like, homophobic parents “suffering” because their child is gay or a gay person suffering because of homophobia) then there’s no need to alter them. “Correcting” them is a measure of social control that crushes individuality and only attempts to mold people into obedient ~productive~ servants of capitalism. Much of psychiatric medical treatment (not just the diagnoses and therapies themselves) focuses on turning the patient into less of a social “burden”, than on their actual happiness. That’s why you have ADHD and autistic kids being given meds that turn them into zombies and that's been considered a good thing for DECADES. Like, why does the stimming of an autistic person or an “unusual” attachment to stuffed animals as an autistic adult have to be corrected? WHOMST does that harm? Nobody! But it makes allistics uncomfortable because allistics are fucking stupid and can’t mind their God damned business to save their lives like normal people do.

Even non-pharmaceutical treatments for psychiatrized conditions are or can be turned into measures of social control. 

Maybe CBT wasn’t meant to be a tool to control people and shit, but it can be misused as such SO easily! It can go from being therapy to help individuals process inner pain and redirect harmful behaviors in positive ways, to being turned into training someone to react, feel and process abuse and oppression in ways that are convenient to the status quo. 

Don’t get me fucking started on ABA as an inherently oppressive, abusive “treatment” for a psychiatrized condition that does nothing to actually better the lives of autistic people, instead punishing autistic traits, teaching autistic people to painfully repress said traits and ignore their needs, and seeking to appease allistics by prioritizing their convenience and subjective comfort.

Behaviors, emotions, perceptions or traits that on a man or white person would be considered a non-issue or given much more compassionate/less stigmatized diagnoses, are pathologized or given much more stigmatized diagnoses when it comes to female or racialized patients, which reaffirms psychiatry and psychology as subjective tools of social control.

While many of the traits, emotions, perceptions and behaviors of what are considered personality disorders are painful, harmful and real (and thus should be helped, with consent, not hammered down), literal personalities aren’t “ill”. They’re personalities. Pathologizing or medicalizing a fucking personality on itself is ridiculous. It is possible to address those problematic traits/behaviors/etc without saying that a fucking personality is “ill”. So much for “you’re not your disorder”.

What shrinks will deem as hallucinations or delusions can be subjective, and it definitely can be deemed as such out of white-centric cultural bias. Plenty of non-white cultures have considered different perceptions of reality as valid and worthy of respect for centuries, at times related to their sense of spirituality. Not to mention how psychiatry has deemed the real anxieties of oppressed people that they’re being followed, spied on, plotted against and all that, as hallucinations or delusions in order to discredit them.

Many patients are given medication to try to alleviate traits/behaviors/emotions that come from circumstance (poverty, ongoing abuse, trauma, oppression...) instead of addressing the root problems. While I 100% understand using medication as a palliative measure because, bitch, you can’t always fix those problems and you still have a life to live (the same way I take clotiazepam when the insensitivity of the allistics around me causes me sensory overload), this puts the burden of the person’s situation on their own body, as if their body was the essential source of a suffering that comes from outside forces they’re not responsible or in control of. This should ideally be addressed through material change in realities that can be individual (removing the person from an abusive situation, giving economic aid, giving proper treatment to an untreated chronic illness) or social (abolishing white supremacy, the patriarchy, capitalism, etc).

So many times when palliative medical treatments for suffering that comes from circumstances don’t work (BECAUSE THE PATIENT IS STILL TRAPPED IN SAID CIRCUMSTANCES, HELLO?) it’s blamed on a supposed defect of the patient’s body/brain rather than, like... You can give me as many anti-depressants as you want but I’m still gonna be miserable if I’m being abused or suffering from unending physical chronic pain lol. And then, instead of at least having the decency of recognizing the real source of the problem if your shrink can’t realistically fix it, they keep trying more and more different meds on you like you’re a fucking lab rat, keeping on blaming a made up defect you were “born” with. Imagine what that does to a person’s self-image! At least when I loathe my body for the chronic pain, chronic fatigue and more that my chronic illnesses give me, it IS actually true that it’s my body that has a defect that can’t be cured. Why convince a person in suffering due to anything, but especially when it’s due to outside conditions out of their control and your job is fucking supposed to be to help them be happier, that their pain refuses to respond to treatment because their BRAIN is so terribly defective? I don’t wish the hatred I hold for my objectively shitty body on anyone, and causing that to someone when it’s not even true...? Incredible.

Lots of genuine difficulties associated with psychiatric diagnoses are much better helped through accessibility and material considerations, or at least through teaching the patient pragmatic methods to better deal with those, than through pills. But guess what solution shrinks usually give you. Hint: it’s easier for them and they can charge you for it monthly.

Society™ medicalized emotions, bro... WE MEDICALIZED FEELINGS!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!

[anxiouslynumbme]

Best Prepare To Grieve

7x10, Daisy dealing with Jiaying's death.

Hello! So this is late and slightly more unedited than usual, 'cause I kinda had to post it before tonight's episode, so fair warning and all. Also this is heavily focused on Daisy and May, with a little Daisy/sousa. The higher dosage of Daisy and Sousa will be posted to my other fic (Tell me it's okay.)

Title inspiration: Hayley Williams - Leave It Alone. If you don't know it, go check it out. Actually, listen to her entire album. It's such a wonderful piece of art. Also the song ‘Simmer’ works for both Jiaying and Daisy. But especially Jiaying: If my child needed protection From a fucker like that man I'd sooner gut him 'Cause nothing cuts like a mother

Okay, I'm gonna stop now before I start rambling about the genius of Hayley Williams.

Ao3.

If you know love You best prepare to grieve Let it enter your open heart and Then prepare to let it leave

**************************************

Daisy didn't expect it to be easier, but with the number of people she had lost, and the amount of deaths and loss she had experienced; she wanted to believe it wouldn't hurt as much. But it hurt the same. Always.

Daisy had noticed a change in the way she handled tragedy over the years. How she used to deal with sadness as a kid, crying and daydreaming of a better future. As a teenager, she was the typical angsty, cynical soul who hated the world. A rebellious determination hit in her 20s, she found solace in conspiracy theories and exposing the truths.

And then Coulson had found her, and she'd latched onto the opportunity behind the man, desperately trying to find her parents, to know who she was. But Coulson had given her much more than what she had been looking for. And at first, the loneliness and pain had lessened with the team. She was happy. She belonged.

But as much as S.H.I.E.L.D. had given her; it had taken just as much. And it had taught her to deal with afflictions by avoidance, isolation, and a whole lot of anger.

And Daisy wished so much that was the case by seeing her mother's death again, Daisy wished she could sweep it under the rug and carry on. Just put under it there, with the recent death of Enoch. But she couldn't.

Daisy felt like a little kid again. She just wanted to cry and never stop, her heart was squeezing itself so tightly in its cage, her ears ringing with its heavy pounding. She couldn't breathe.

Daisy's breathing was short and shallow, her heart rate dimming in the engulfing anguish and shock, her chest constricting with the unbearable weight of loss. Daisy was frigid with the retching grief swirling through her veins. How was it that she never knew her mother and it hurt as though she did. Everytime. She had always been an orphan; she never had a mother, this should've been easier. Daisy wanted it to be. Desperately. Daisy was deprived of a mother's love since she was born; she was used to this. And yet, if felt like she was being drained of her blood by Nathaniel all over again. He should've had finished the job.

What Daisy resented the most was the brief, naive sliver of hope that was momentarily lit within her heart. A hope she had learned time and time again to crush, to never let it simmer too long or too bright. Daisy had learned not to hope a long time ago.

But seeing her mother again had weakened her resolve; it melted that icy wall she'd built around her for so long. Because the Jiaying that had stood in front of her was so unlike the traumatic memories Daisy had tried to block out. And for a split second, Daisy let her mind wander: it wandered so stupidly, with an innocence she shouldn't have, gullibility that should had been long gone.

Jiaying's presence enfeebled her state of mind and her guarded heart. Because after all those years, Daisy still hoped. What if Jiaying could stay? What if bad luck decided to let her have this one? What if she could get to keep this untainted and healthy version of her mother? What if they saved her sister and managed to find some way to stay together? It was so brief, a nano-second of hopeful naivety.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. And now you're breaking down all over again.

No, she wasn't breaking down again. Because as much as pain and sadness were familiar. Anger was too. And Daisy could easily channel this darkness that was threatening to swallow her, into fury. A familiar and safe territory.

It had been a while since Daisy had felt this kind of rage. She hated it. It was so easy to lose herself in that bottomless pit of hatred and self-pity. Daisy didn't want to give herself in it again; she'd almost lost the people she loved the last time she had went down an emotional spiral.

But it didn't matter, because Daisy wasn't going to let this go, her blood was boiling beneath the surface of her skin, her nerves prickled and itched with the fury that kept building up by each passing second. Quake was unraveling inside her, her powers thrumming with the need to be let out, it hummed and hammered, silently begging to be unleashed.

"Daisy."

May's wary voice traveled to her ears, but refused to reach the rest of her senses. A numbness began to settle over her as she quietly wiped away her muted tears.

May placed a hand on her shoulder and Daisy's eyes closed at the contact. Daisy couldn't handle comfort right now.

"Where is he?" her voice came out distant and cold.

"Daisy."

"How did he escape, May?"

"Garrett, I'm sure. He has Simmons."

Daisy's heart lurched in silent panic. Of course. Of course, he has her best friend. Daisy pulled away from May, standing up briskly.

“Deke is there too. He was already on the Zephyr.”

"Do you have any idea why he wants Simmons?"

"Daisy, you should take a breath," May said, putting a hand on her own chest.

"I'm fine, we have to act quickly and find her. Malick is unhinged; we don't know what he'll do," Daisy said monotonously, vaguely pointing at Jiaying's corpse. "We should move her first."

"I got it."

Sousa's voice was jarring, to say the least. Daisy was unaware of his presence in the hallway, and she didn't why, but she couldn't look at him.

"Thanks," she told him, marching forward and leaving Jiaying behind, not really caring where her legs were taking her.

"Daisy, where are you going?" May's word fell on deaf ears, Daisy needed to get out, it felt as though her lungs were collapsing in her chest.

Daisy almost sprinted outside. Her steps carrying her forward until she was stood in front of the water falling down harshly at the center of the Lighthouse. A scenery that used to bring her comfort; it was a place she sought out in her time of need, need of serenity and quiet. But her safe haven didn't provide much safety or peace, nothing could change the scene playing over and over in her mind.

Jiaying's face, the cracking sound of her neck breaking. The thudding finality of her lifeless body hitting the floor.

The air started to crackle around Daisy, her powers causing shudders to glide through her bones. Daisy was aware of the ground shaking beneath her, cargo and boxes of contents unknown to her, started to jolt and oscillate uncontrollably.

"Daisy!" It seemed May had followed her.

"Don't worry, May. I'm in control."

"Are you?"

"Yes!"

With a deep breath, Daisy focused all of her energy on one specific container, finally letting the infuriated vibrations out. Releasing her powers directly towards a few useless objects. One after the other, they exploded, and with each one Daisy felt her raging insides slightly subdue. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't Nathaniel.

"Daisy, talk to me." May came to stand next to her.

Daisy breathed in sharply. "What's the plan? Do we know - "

"Daisy, stop avoiding this."

"I'm not avoiding anything, May. Simmons was kidnapped, again! And I'm guessing Malick is not taking her to Hawaii, so..."

"I know that," May gritted out.

"Good. So he probably took her because it has something to do with Fitz, which is just great because we have zero informa -"

"Daisy, I can feel it!" May's voice almost came out in a yell.

"I'm sorry?" Daisy asked uselessly.

"Daisy," May said. "You are in pain. And you are so angry. Please talk to me."

Daisy nodded her head in annoyance, her hands darting to her waist. "Okay, then, why didn't you shoot to kill, May?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you kill him?" Daisy snapped. "Why didn't you let me - ?"

"Your anger was too much, you would've put everyone in danger!"

"No, I wouldn't have! I know exactly what I'm doing."

May paused, taking a step closer to her. "Daisy - "

"What, you wanna talk about something else? Like the fact that apparently I don’t exist now, or the fact that I had to watch my mother die again. Killed by the hands of someone who was abusing my powers! He used my powers to kill her, May!"

"I know," May said softly, striding even closer to Daisy. The consoling noise of the water around them grounding Daisy.

"Honestly, what Did I expect?" she snickered. "She dies later anyway. . .might as well, right? At least now I won't be alive, I guess - I honestly don't how this works anymore."

"Daisy, don't do this. Don't shut down."

"Wow, that's rich coming from you," Daisy bit out, her frustration flowing freely.

May was quiet, which irritated Daisy even more. She simply stood there, staring at her, but not with pity. It was pain. May was hurting too.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Right, your ambiguous powers are making you extra sensitive, huh? Sorry about that."

"I don't need powers to feel your pain, Daisy."

Daisy stiffened, her feet instinctively taking a step back. "Well, sorry about that too."

"Daisy," May followed her, a palm trying to reach for her arm again. Daisy let her. "I can tell. Always. And that's why I know you will be okay."

"Will I?" Daisy wondered, her tone small and broken. "you know sometimes, I have these moments where I look around, surrounded by you guys, and I feel safe. Content. But then this dread always hits, hard. And I'm just. . .constantly afraid of losing you. Death just follows me, wherever I go."

May blenched, her frown deepening as her hand squeezed Daisy almost sternly. "Don't. Don't say that."

"No, no, it's always been like this," Daisy continued loudly, her hands flailing in front of her restlessly. "it's the same thing, always. Anyone I ever dared to care about goes away. God, even the idea of my parents I couldn't have. Just the mere damn idea of them. And the universe is twisted enough to keep dangling her, dangling that hope in my face!

"I've imagined meeting my mother over and over again, and not once did I - " Daisy's voice broke off, a hollowing ache in her chest. "She's unreachable. There is no world where I could have her. I don't even know why I keep - why I even thought - "

Daisy was cut off by May's arms enveloping her. Her grip strong and kind and steady. Safe, so safe. Daisy gasped roughly, her body sagging against May, finally inhaling oxygen just a bit easier again.

Daisy's legs gave out from under her, May immediately lowering both of them to the ground. May's arms closed her in, almost caging her from the cruel world around her. Like a mother would. And suddenly Daisy was assaulted by the memory of almost losing the woman who was currently keeping her from completely shutting down . May had almost died; Daisy had believed she died. And all of a sudden, that same wave of stifling pain crashed over her again, and Daisy clutched May to her, gripping her tightly.

"You almost died too," Daisy wept, not fully aware that her mouth was freely voicing her turmoil. "You almost me left me, too."

"Shh, I'm right here."

But Daisy was unable to hear anything but her racing, terrified thoughts.

"It won't stop. Ever since Trip, I keep losing. I lost the one person who understood me," Daisy's breath caught in her throat as she thought of her first, lost love. "I lost my - "

Her father? Because he was. In every way but blood, Phil Coulson was her father. And he was gone. And Daisy knew she might never completely move past his death; she might never be whole again. There really was nothing without him.

"It's okay, Daisy."

"He's gone, May. Coulson is gone," Daisy sobbed. "It's not him. He will never be him."

"I know, Daisy, I know." May held her harder. Solid against her.

"Please don't leave, May," Daisy grasped May's waist, her head pressing further in her chest. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere," May rasped, her words firm and full of conviction. "I'm right here, okay? I'm always with you, Daisy."

But she wouldn't be. There was no way to ever ensure that, to ensure her loved ones’ safety, her family's survival. Daisy was going to lose them, or they were going to lose her. Death was inevitable, loss was too, and it didn't help that the odds were always stacked against them.

Enoch was right.

But Daisy didn't say anything, and decided to let May's words seep into her anyway, because Daisy was on the verge of a panic attack and she couldn't afford the loss of control right now. So for this moment, Daisy decided to believe May.

******

Daisy's eyes snapped open, her groggy mind trying to comprehend her surroundings. She had fallen asleep, slowly Daisy lifted her head up and away from May's chest to look into her wide awake eyes. Glancing around, Daisy realized May had moved them to a wall near by.

"How the hell did I fall asleep?" her voice was scratchy and low. "Did I, like, pass out or something?"

May grinned. "Honestly, I think you might have."

"Oh, how long?"

"Not long enough."

Daisy exhaled slowly. "Well, I'm sorry."

"It's all right. You needed it."

Daisy gazed at May's warm smile and noticed her eyes were a little red, realizing that May might've been crying with her. Gratitude and affection rushed through her. They had often joked about it, how Coulson and May were like her parents, but deep down, Daisy had always been speaking from the heart. They were.

Daisy caught May's hand in hers, "Thank you. I don't say it enough,"

May's brows knitted. "For what?"

"For taking care of me, for showing me how to survive and basically teaching me everything I know. For saving my life."

"You never need to thank me for any of that.”

S.H.I.E.L.D. did take a lot of from her. But it had also gifted her with something so rare, so utterly precious. Irreplaceable. It was tangible and real and hers. Daisy would take all the pain in the world if it meant having them. Having this family, keeping it.

"Er, hey."

This time, his voice wasn't as jarring, in fact, somehow Daisy was waiting for it, her ears welcoming its irresistible warmth as her eyes finally met his.

"Hi."

"We should start working out a plan and figuring out exactly where they are," May said, her body suddenly rising up to its full height, Daisy following right after. "I'll see you back inside in a few minutes,."

With one last gentle smile, May was walking away from them.

"Are you okay, sounds very pointless right now. So I'm gonna ask if there's anything you need from me."

Daisy's lips instantly quirked to the side. "Not right now, no. But thanks."

She wanted to ask him how he moved Jiaying, where exactly did he put her. Daisy wanted to see her, but her heart seemed to whimper in fear at the thought. Would she be able to do it? Daisy needed to focus on the mission, and maybe later, if she actually survived, there would be time to say proper goodbye to her mother.

"For now, all we need to focus on is getting Simmons and Deke back," she told him as they both started walking back.

Sousa sighed, eyes flitting away from hers. "I know. It all happened so fast. I couldn't stop him."

"You were with her?"

"Yeah, and I didn't have time t - "

Daisy stopped in her tracks. "Hey, it wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could've done."

Even though Sousa knew she was right, she could still sense some lingering guilt in his eyes. But Daisy could more than understand why he felt that way. Because how many times could she have killed Nathaniel? How many ways? Instead, she did nothing but watch. Helpless to stop any of it.

"What happened wasn't your fault either," Sousa said softly.

A part of Daisy didn't like the fact that he seemed to be able to read her so easily after knowing her for such little time. But the other, much bigger part of her, was just so grateful for him. Grateful that she didn't have to talk much for him to understand. So grateful that he was here.

Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts. 

Daisy peered at Sousa."Well, I guess it doesn't matter if it is or not. Guilt sticks with you anyway it can."

Sousa nodded. "Sometimes, it can be an irrational feeling."

"But in this case, it's justified. He didn't even want Jiaying. If she hadn't been here at all, then she would've - "

"No, you can't think like that," Sousa interjected quickly. "it'll drive you crazy. There was no way for you to know that. It was out of your control, Daisy."

Daisy could feel her insides recoil at the incessant image that wouldn't leave her mind. "He'd told her. Before he killed her. She - she knew who I was. She was trying to protect me."

Sousa stepped up to her, his palm kindly touching her arm. And Daisy didn't flinch away from him.

"She had died honorably. I know things were bad in the future with her. But this was your mother, Daisy. And she had done what she was always supposed to do."

The silent tears slipped before she could stop them, Sousa's hand rubbing her arm soothingly. 

"You know, I'm really glad you kinda pushed me into talking with her."

Sousa smiled warmly. "Really? 'Cause it didn't look like it."

Daisy snorted. "Well, I wasn't at the time. But now I realize I needed the push. . . So thank you."

"Anytime, Daisy."

The way he'd said it, as if he were cementing the idea that he was going to be there for her, anytime. And Daisy wanted to believe him so badly. But she couldn't let herself hope right now, not so soon after. Everything got taken away from her, and Sousa was no exception. Sooner or later.

Daisy sent him a simple nod in response, their legs moving forward again. Daisy didn't want to go inside; the air was probably still thick and heavy with the recent calamity, the devastation. Devastation she was still feeling.

But Daisy didn't have the luxury of mourning right now. Her friends were in trouble, which of course meant the world was in trouble. She needed to push through, as always.

She could let herself think that seeing her mother again brought her nothing but this suffocating sorrow. But Daisy was choosing to view it differently. She was glad that she was lucky enough to have seen Jiaying like this. To hear her say, my daughter, one last time. Daisy was glad she had the chance to look at her mother's beautiful face, and not see years of torment and hate clouding her eyes. Daisy was never even supposed to see her again; she was lucky in that sense.

Or at least that was how Daisy needed to look at it, in order to be able to move on. Because thinking of it any other way could so easily crush her.

Daisy got to see her again and that was enough. Because maybe asking for anything else was too much.

It always was.

[littlemisssquiggles]

Ok so. Oscar as Nene (got drag to supernatural stuff like Os got drag to become a huntsman) Ruby as Hanako (playful, deeper than you think, family issue🤣😂) Jaune as Kou Pyrrha as Mitsuba GO BRAINSTORM NOW YA KNOW THE STORY OF HANAKO KUN🤣😂❤️❤️❤️

Hehehe,indeed I do know the story of Hanako-kun,Ly. Especially now that I’m all caught up with both the anime and the mangaseries. Although I will say this though, theanime adaptation of the Mitsuba chapter was one hundred times moreheartbreaking to see play out in animated form. I mean it was alreadysaddening to read about in the manga when I first started but to see it now infull living colour…my heart. Dem feelsman!

Andto imaging Pyrhha Nikkos being Jaune’sMitsuba in a RWBY-inspired Hanako universe is so tragically fitting thatit’s bloody perfect. Y’know it was actually @mojo72400 who first suggested thepotential of a Rosegarden AU based on Hanako-kun. However at the time, I ridiculouslythought that Toilet-Bound Hanako-kunwas about a anime girl who had to survive the social ladder of highschool witha terrible condition that forced to suffer from infrequent trips to the toilet.That’s what the title made me think the story was about. I know that soundssilly in hindsight but can you blame with a title like that? Now imagine howpleasantly surprised I was to realize that TBH was definitely better than I canever imagined.

Anyways,that being said, now that I’ve familiarized myself with the Hanako-universe(and have officially joined its fandom community---Whaddup my toilet-bounddudes!) you can bet your bum that I’m definitely game for a Barn- Bound Ruby Rose RWBY Rosegarden AU and I second the idea of Oscar Pine being the Nene ofthis universe.

Oh!But instead of Oscar being afflicted with the Mermaid’s Curse, let say…that Oscar’s curse is called the Pumpkinhead curse.

 Likeimagine…Oscar being a farm-bred countrypumpkin who had to move to the city to attend high school and becauseof this, he’s affectionately been christened the nickname of “country pumpkin” by his peers.

Let’s say…that much like Nene, Oscar’sstory was that he had a crush on one of his upperclassman and wanted to make awish to change his appearance so that his crush could finally notice him andmaybe become his girlfriend. Let’s say…that having grown up on a farm far outin the countryside, Oscar has always dreamed of living in the city and hadbasically dreamt up this little fantasy of what his dream “highschool experience”would be and for the sake of this AU, one of his ambitions was somehow becomingthe proud lovingly devoted boyfriend of the most popular girl at school.

Nowaccording to rumours around the school, Oscar’s crush liked “tall handsome city boys” so unfortunatelyfor Oscar, his small, cute farm boy look wasn’t going to cut it for him inwinning over the affection of his future girlfriend.

Atfirst Oscar thought that his luck with his crush might not change until heheard a rumour about one of the schools Seven Mysteries. Mystery No. 7---TheRuby Rose of the Abandoned Barn house in the back of the school compound.Basically the deal was that the Ruby Rose was supposed to be some kind ofsupernatural jinn who grant one wish to anyone who is able to successfullysummon it.

Longstory short, Oscar goes to the barn in hopes that he could successfully summonthe Ruby Rose. But to Oscar’s surprise, rather than summoning a super imposingmystical genie of the magic arts here to grant him any wish he so desired likehe had imagined in his impressionable overactive farm boy imagination, Oscarinstead finds a ghost girl dressed in a red hood who addresses herself as RubyRose.

Basicallythe idea I’m having here is that before making the choice to go live in thecity, Oscar lived a rather sheltered life in a small town where the only thinghe had to connect with were books that his aunt would lend him. So because ofthis, let’s say Oscar has a skewed,child-like impression of what the real world is. In a nutshell, he’s very naïve. Not stupid. Just gullibleenough to believe a silly school rumour about a supernatural being who cangrant him his wish to make him desirable enough for his crush to love him.

(YesI know that sounds silly and totally out of character for Oscar but since Oscaris meant to be Nene here I tried to give him the key Nene-isms---her thirst for the love of the oppositesex--- while maintaining some of his canonical RWBY traits).

Anyways;like I said---Oscar successfully summons Ruby: He didn’t really have to domuch. Just leave a plate of chocolate chip cookies and milk in the centre ofthe room while say “Ruby Rose” three times.

Howevershenanigans happen which result in Oscar failing to get his wish from Ruby who,as it turnt out, can’t really do anything to change Oscar’s appearance.

Thisthen leads to Oscar eating a cursed cookie that he took off of Ruby.Let’s say…the cookie is heart-shapedwith red velvet icing and strawberry hearts on one side while the other side wasdecorated like a Halloween pumpkin face.

Let’s say…the idea behind thecookie---the Cursed Pumpernickelcookie--- is that should two people share the cookie, they would be boundedtogether for all eternity and live a lifetime of love, happily ever after.However should the pair’s love not be mutually reciprocated with only one halfof the cookie being eaten, the recipient of the eaten half shall fall prey tothe Pumpkinhead curse.

Thisis what ends up befalling poor Oscar. The idea I had was that, much like Nene,Oscar pilfered Cursed Pumpernickel off of Ruby while she was sifting throughher pocket for another token to help him “woo” his crush.

Whenasked about the cookie, Ruby harmlessly informs Oscar about the “power” of thePumpernickel cookie, not thinking that Oscar would ever be so foolish enough to actually eat itknowing the details of its curse. However, unfortunately for Ruby, Oscar wasthat foolish and eats one of half of the Pumpernickel cookie with the intentionof giving the other half to his crush to bind them together forever.

Let’s say…in this AU, Oscar’s crush is Neon Katt. Like Oscarhas had a crush on her since his first day of high school, falling head overheels in love with her just because she and her friends were close with Oscar’supperclassman pals and Neo was always super nice and affectionate withOscar---y’know like your best friend being nice to your kid brother who has anobvious crush on her type of scenario.

SoOscar goes to give Neon the other half of the Pumpernickel but as he does,their moment is interrupted by Flynt. Let’ssay…in this AU, Flynt and Neon areclose childhood best friends who’ve secretly had feelings for each other foryears. (Because in the squiggle shire, we still ship Funky Cat or whatever the name of Flynt x Neon’s ship is). So Flyntconfesses his love to Neon and much to Oscar’s heartache, Neon reciprocates hisfeelings. She even forgets that Oscar was even standing there before Flyntreminds her of his presense.

Butas Neon goes to take the reaming half of the Pumpernickel that Oscar was aboutto offer her, Oscar, doing his best to hide his sadness, makes up some cock andbull story about the cookie being bad and no longer good enough to give Neonanymore. He then congratulates Flynt and Neon on their newfound relationshipbefore running off; claiming to be returning to class.

Assaid, Oscar is heartbroken---realizing how foolishhe had been for pursuing Neon. But before Oscar could lament on hisfoolishness, he is suddenly overtaken by the Pumpkinhead Curse. Oscar is turned into a pumpkin. Thenext thing Oscar knows he opens what he assumesto be his eyes, looking up to find Ruby standing over him. However for some oddreason, Oscar could no longer feel his hands or his legs. He suddenly feels very, very different.

Itis then when Ruby holds up a mirror to Oscar to show his new pumpkin body---asmall bright orange pumpkin with a fluffy head of leaves and vines which Rubyhad been kind enough to carve out his eyes and mouth so he could see and talkto her. She even took the liberty of carving out tiny holes where Oscar’sfreckles would be on his face.

WhyI like the concept of Oscar’s curse being the Pumpkinhead curse is, not justbecause it was inspired by the Oz character of the same name but mainly becauseof a quote that Jack Pumpkinhead said after he had first come to life:

“…It will take me alittle time to discover whether I am very wise or very foolish…”

 Ilike the idea of Oscar winding up cursed because his affection for Neon and hisdesperation to have her return his feelings had made him foolish in his pursuitof love or something along those lines. I like this idea just as much as I likethe idea of those afflicted with the Pumpkinhead Curse ending up becomingpumpkins to be added to the patch of a supernatural entity known as the PumpkinKing.

Y’knowhow in Hanako, we had the Mermaid Queen apparition who told Nene that if shebecame her servant she would be loved by her and her fish people? Well for thisAU, my idea is that Oscar would become apumpkin in the Pumpkin King’s Patch to be marriedoff to one of his literal spoiled rotten pumpkin-headed children. Sobasically by being cursed, Oscarunintentionally set himself up to become the future groom to the Pumpkin King’s eldest daughter whose been knownto eat her husbands, much to the farm boy’s dismay since not only did henot want to be a pumpkin for the rest of the life but he certainly did not wantto be married off to a pumpkin either at the tender age of 14.

Soto avoid becoming the Pumpkin Princess’ latest snack and umpteenth deadhusband, Ruby makes Oscar a deal he couldn't refuse. Much like Hanako did withNene, Ruby binds herself to Oscar and becomes his "girlfriend" as a means of keeping the Pumpkin King fromclaiming him for his daughter (which basically becomes like a sort of runninggag with the Pumpkin King and his minions constantly trying to persuade orstraight up kidnap Oscar into becoming the future little Pumpkin Prince).

Andto seal to deal that they were now bound together, Ruby eats the other half ofthe cursed Pumpernickel Cookie before kissing Oscar while he was still inpumpkin form which turns him back into a proper human boy.

Sobasically Oscar also ends up losing hisfirst kiss to Ruby; much to the farm boy’s embarrassment.

Butbottom-line, Ruby and Oscar were now bound together through the PumpkinheadCurse. However, because she had went out of her way to help him, Oscar beingbound to Ruby almost meant that he owed her indefinitely.

Andconsidering that Ruby was now Oscar's quote unquote "girlfriend", she pretty much make lives up to that titleby ensuring that Oscar played the part of her so-called lovingly devoted“boyfriend”, wading on the jubilantly childish yet mysterious apparition handand foot while additionally assisting her in her maintenance of the balancebetween the living and supernatural world. Because in Oscar’s case, it waseither that or being a talking pumpkin head turned pumpkin groom married to hisgiant pumpkin wife in constant fear of being eaten for the rest of his life.And that’s my idea for Oscar’s Nene-inspired story for this AU which I guess canwork as a nice little basis for it. Y'know do something similar to the originalHanako series but with a squigglytwist to it, in a sense. Besides I love the concept of Oscar being a cutelittle pumpkin more than him being a fish like Nene. But that's my idea.

Asfor the rest of the RWBY cast as Hanako-inspired characters---Well... as Imentioned before, I really dig your idea of Jaune being the Kou of thisuniverse. We can even maintain the same idea by having him come from a longline of spirit warriors dubbed the Arc-Angels or “Arc Knights” (see what I did there) with his older sister Saphronbeing a more experienced one watching over her brother’s development whilesimultaneously acting as a teacher at his high school along with her wife:Terra Cotta who is the school librarian. I like the idea of Terra beingcompletely oblivious to her wife and her family’s connection to thesupernatural world due to Saphron wishing to keep both her wife and their toddlerson away from that kind of life style. Perhapsyou can even have an idea where Saphron abandoned her duties as an Arc Knightbecause she desired a normal life with a family of her own.

Perhaps…you can have somethingwhere the Arc Knights, being the only spirit warrior family within the mainsetting of the story, were the sworn protectors of the land of the living;working to exorcise any wayward apparitions.

Let’ssay Saphron estranged herself from her family, choosing to work more closely withthe apparitions to focus on maintaining better peace between the two worlds. Butbecause Saphron had left, her baby brother Jaune was forced to take her placeand the two share an interesting dynamic where Jaune wants to prove that hecould be a great spirit warrior who won’t quit like his sister did and Saphronhas to look out for him while feeling guilty for partially making Jaune thewarrior that he was now. That’s one idea.

Nowthat I think about it. This type of story could also work for Weiss and Winter. Like I can easilypicture Weiss being an alternate version for the Kou character of this universewith Jaune being her Mitsuba. OR…perhapsin this AU, the Schnees were a rival spiritwarrior/ exorcist family to the Arcs?

Perhaps…unlike the Arcs who were open to working inharmony with the apparitions, the Schnees were not. Instead the Schneesused their family power to enslave apparitions and use them as their pawns incombat.

Let’ssay, while the Arc Knights adhered to the old school spirit warrior code, theSchnees were necromancers---summoningthe dead to fight their battles for them with little respect their pasthumanity when they were alive which the Arc family greatly frowned upon. (Imean the Schnee family semblance is practically the RWBY equivalent ofnecromancy so in this case it works)

Perhaps…you can even have athing where Jaune and Weiss are rivals coming from strong spirit warrior/exorcistfamily bloodlines or clans so the two basically grew up opposing one anotherfrom birth.

Howeverlet’s say… Jaune secretly has feelings for Weiss and at first Weiss didn’tcare much for Jaune; choosing to focus mainly on maintaining her family’s honouras encouraged by her older sister Winter.

Howeverlet’s say…Weiss ultimately shows asofter side to herself, taking an interest in Jaune’s wellbeing as a “friendwho knew him” after he gets himself involved with a ghost girl named Pyrhha (whowas resurrected by darker apparition) and started committing some questionable acts. Or something alongthose lines.

Idefinitely dig the idea of the Arcs and the Schnees being rival clans whomaintain balance in the supernatural and living world---but while the Arcscoexist in harmony with the apparitions on parlayed allegiance with theMysteries (such as Ruby Rose), the Schnees have a different way of doing thingsdespite fighting for the same cause. And this rivalry is reflected in thecharacter dynamics of Weiss and Jaune (who are students of Oscar’s highschooland his fellow upperclassman) and also their older sisters---Winter andSaphron. I’m going to change my earlier concept. I’m going to make Saphron theschool librarian along with her wife Terra while Winter Schnee is the homeroomteacher of Oscar’s class. Yeah that’s better, I like that better.

Movingalong, I definitely like the idea of Norabeing Oscar's version of Aoi-chan. Since Oscar is the focal character herein Nene’s role, I think Nora can work really, really well as the person acts asthe closest thing to a best friend he has.

Or….maybeJaune can be Oscar’s best friend in this AU but Nora is still his Aoi-chan? Maybeyou can even add a little detail where Nora is Oscar’s foster sister. Like perhaps…in this universe, the Arcs arelong-time friends of Oscar’s family (meaning his aunt and uncle in the farcountry) who were more than willing to allow him to live under their roof whilehe’s in the city pursuing his high school education.

Sobasically let’s say, in this AU, Oscar lives with Jaune who is staying withSaphron and Terra. Baby Adrian alsoexists in this AU too so Oscar and baby Adrian interactions and hijinks canensue.

Ialso like the idea of Nora and Ren also beingtenants of the Cotta-Arc household. Let’ssay…Ren and Nora are basically Jaune’s best friends and adopted siblingswho were taken in by the Arc family when they were kids and ultimately movedout with Jaune to live with his sister.

Soin a nutshell, in this AU, Team JNPR 2.0 or ALPN live together with Jaune, Renand Nora maintaining their roles as Oscar’s surrogate big brothers and sisterand the closest thing to friends he has at school.

Let’s say…in this AU, due to hiscountry upbringing and his introverted demeanour, Oscar has been having a hardtime adjusting to the city and making friends in his new school and class. Butat least he had his big brother Jaune and friends to look out for him.

Asa matter of fact, I love the idea of Ren and Nora being the Aoi and Akane ofthis AU only with a small difference. Much like Aoi and Akane, Ren and Nora arechildhood best friends with Nora having an obvious crush on Ren.

Butrather than Nora being revealed to be one of the Mysteries like Akane, I'm moredigging the idea of Ren being partapparition and the first time he reveals this is to protect Nora. Like imagine…Nora constantly being the onepursuing Ren making her feelings for him obvious just like in RWBY but we don’tknow how Ren feels for Nora. We know he definitely cares for her but we're notaware of his love for her until he reveals himself as one of the Clock keepersto save Nora. 

Likeperhaps Oscar, Ruby and Jaunebelieved that Nora might’ve been masquerading as one of the Seven Mysteries dueto her mysterious dark past sharedwith Ren only for Ren to intervene and reveal himself as the true supernatural.I think that can work.

Asfor who I think the Mysteries in this AU could be, that's definitely tricky---Iknow I definitely want Ozpin to be part of the Three Clock-keepers alongsideRen. Oz can be the Clock-keeper of the Past, Ren the present but I’m not surewho the Clock Keeper of the Future would be to stir up trouble. I kind of low-key want to make Zwei theClock Keeper of the Future. Why? Having a sentient doggo control the futureand wreak havoc? Sure why not XD  

Asfor Mystery No. 2, I’m thinking maybe Blake? Perhaps her mystery could be called “The Staircase of the Beast”?Perhaps this title was shared by her and her “lover” in this universe beforethings turned Grimm when bad rumours started to spread about her lover whichturned them into a beastly monster as a result of it. 

Likeyou can say that originally Blake’s mystery was called “The Belladonna Staircase” and it used to be a sort of romanticspot that blessed couples until the rumours turned her mystery into the“Staircase of the Beast” which only preys on couples.

Ithink that can work swimmingly. As for who would play Blake’s lover in this AU,I don’t care. I’ll leave that for you or anyone to insert whoever you shipBlake with, Ly. I’m not touching that can of worms =_=);

Movingalong, since we established that Pyrhha is the Mitsuba in this AU, she willbecome Mystery No. 3.

Asfor Mystery No. 4, I think Penny works excellently here. I can definitelypicture Penny P. as one of the Seven Mysteries. Not to mention that herpersonality certain reminds me a lot of Shijima Mei.

Thesame can be said for Qrow Branwen as Mystery No. 5. His personality definitelymatches Tsuchigomori the most, at least in my opinion.

Asfor Mystery No. 6, well since the manga is now getting to touch base on hischaracter and storyline as one of the Seven Mysteries, I don’t quite know muchabout him as yet. So I’ll hold off on my choice on who could play his role fromthe RWBY universe.

Lastly,as for who will be our broadcasting clubtrio in this AU; well I think it should be obvious. In my eyes, I’mthinking Cinder Fall could play a goodequivalent to Tsukasa Yugi. While she may not share the family relation asTsukasa does to Hanako/Amane Yugi, I still think that Cinder can work as Ruby’santithesis given their connection from the canonical series.

Notto mention that Cinder Fall is the one character who can match Tsukasa’s eerilymalicious nature, in my opinion. So with Cinder as Tsukasa, this puts EmeraldSustrai and Mercury Black as her versions of Sakura and Natsuhiko with Emerald,of course, being the one bonded to Cinder like Ruby is to the Oscar.

Ithink that aspect of it definitely works a lot. But again these are just only my ideas I’m spouting. Nonetheless, letme know what you think Ly?

Didthis squiggle meister deliver well onserving up enough good brainstorming food for ya ;) I hope I did. Cheers fam!

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

[mageicalwishes]

Crying In My Prom Dress - Chapter 1

Read on AO3: here 

Summary: The Leaver's Ball marks the end of the school year. The end of their time at Watford. Baz has a confession to make before it's too late. But, will he ever pluck up the courage to tell Simon how he feels? Inspired by the song "Prom Dress" by Mxmtoon.

Chapter: 1/7

Words: 1537

Just to avoid confusion - This fic is set in an AU where none of the major events that take place within "Carry On" happened and takes place in their Eighth year at Watford, although Baz was still kidnapped by Numpties. No front seat for him.

Baz

It’s bad enough that I have to share a room with Snow given the ... circumstances. The last four years at Watford have practically been hell. Sharing a room with the person you want the most is like sharing a room with an open fire. He’s constantly drawing you in. And you’re constantly stepping too close. And you know it’s no good - that there is no good - that there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it. But you do it anyway. And then … Well. Then you burn. As it happens, I am severely burned. Charred, even. I’ve tried to stop it. I’ve tried everything. Everything just to make all of this go away. I tried fighting him (but every time he’d tackle me to the floor my brain still strayed to, shall we say, “devious” places). I still loved him, even though I spent my days desperately trying to convince him (and everyone else around us) that I didn’t. I tried “getting it out of my system” the summer after Fifth year (but that just provided me with a new array of distracting mental images my mind could wander to when he was lying barely a metre away from me). I still loved him. Last Summer, I desperately tried to find someone else. Anyone who could just take my mind off of Snow. But, that failed too (obviously). Nobody else could compare to Snow - How could they? They weren’t him. Of course I didn't want them - I wanted him. I still loved him. So, I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here right now. I’m not sure why I insist on torturing myself further. Sharing a room with him has been painful enough, but that’s mandatory. That’s all the Crucible’s fault. Following him when I know he’s going to meet Wellbelove, that’s … soul-crushing. And, that’s all my fault. Even for me this pathetic. Pining after him like bloody Romeo to Rosaline. Father would be so disappointed. The heir to the Grimm-Pitch estate, trailing after the Mage’s protégé like a love-sick puppy. It would bring him to tears. But here I am. They’ve stowed themselves away in a cosy, little storage room. And I’m sat (alone), hidden away on a balcony, watching them through the window. Like I said, pathetic.  

They’re practising their steps for the upcoming Leaver’s Ball. Simon Snow can’t dance. He’s stomping all over her pretty silk boots. She looks lovely today (as always) - all golden white hair and creamy pink skin. She’s opaque. Like milk. Like white glass. He looks - Well, he looks perfect (as always, he’s inflammably handsome). He’s still wearing his uniform, minus the tie. He’s loosened the top few buttons of his shirt, revealing the moles that are scattered all across his collarbones. I’d kiss them - If I could. I’d kiss every single mole on his stupid body. But I can’t. He’d never let me. His trousers are hugging him just right. It’s nearing the end of the school year so (with all that gorging himself on scones and roast beef) he’s filling them out deliciously. His bronze curls are delightfully tousled (he runs his hands through them at least one hundred times a day). And he’s flashing a delightfully charming grin, small crinkles forming beside his eyes. His eyes are an ordinary blue. You could say they’re nothing special … but that would be a lie. They’re captivating. Simon Snow is an artwork - beautiful, but untouchable. At least, untouchable to me. Not to her. Not to Wellbelove.

Simon takes a particularly bad step and she stumbles backwards (he always has been a clutz). He catches her, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and pulling her back against him. He’s smiling down at her, and she’s smiling back up at him. Repulsive. I wasn’t convinced about them as a couple (and not just because I’m hopelessly jealous of her). When I flirted with her in Fifth year (another desperate attempt to ensure Snow and the others didn’t suspect my feelings for him), she definitely reciprocated. She was certainly eager . But looking at them now … They’re shining together. They’re glowing every shade of White and Gold. It’s practically blinding. They’re a picture-perfect fairy tail - the pretty princess and her heroic prince charming. I'm the monstrous villain. Well, as long as the prince is happy, I suppose.

Then, a voice started me from my thoughts. I nearly whipped myself around at the sound - Thankfully, I caught myself before I did. I hadn’t realised I was no longer alone. How embarrassing. “He’ll never give her up, you know. Not without good reason,” they repeated.

“Hello, Bunce,” I answered, refusing to turn to look at her. I can’t tell if I’m blushing. It’s been a while since I’d fed, hopefully my cheeks are unable to betray me. Still, best not to risk it.

“You’re wasting your time. He thinks she’s his destiny - he can’t help himself. Believe me, I’ve tried talking some sense into them both.” She sounds tired. Snow’s poor long-suffering companion. I understand. Snow is certainly intelligent (although I’d never tell him that), but he can be painfully thick sometimes.

“What do you mean? Badmouthing Watford’s golden couple, Bunce. Tut Tut Tut,” I mock.

“They make each other miserable. Not always. Sometimes they - Sometimes it’s good. They’re just not right for each-other, though. I know it. She knows it too. I can see it in her eyes sometimes. It’s just, Simon isn’t quite there yet. He still thinks he's in love with her. I don't think he ever has been - not really”. That is … certainly not what I was expecting her to say.

“And why are you telling me all this?” I ask, genuinely curious.

“Simon may be oblivious, but I’m not. I’ve seen the way you look at him.” Oh. Shit. She knows. Denial - that’s always served me well in the past.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I say, not quite managing to maintain my usual coolness.

“I think that you do, Baz. It’s okay. You can trust me. I’ve suspected for a while. I would never tell anyone - Not even him. Although, I think it would be in both of your best interests if I did.” I believe her. In spite of her more annoying personality traits, Bunce has always struck me as a fundamentally good person (she’s always been there for Simon when he needed her).

“Well as you said, he can’t help himself. Neither can I. I can, however, help the amount of damage my … “emotional affliction” does. I’m not going to tell him. I always thought - I thought I might, one day. But he doesn’t reciprocate. He can’t. He already has enough reasons to hate me. I’m not giving him another.”

“Boys. You can never just talk,” she sighs. “I love Simon, I do, but he’s oblivious, even about the way he feels. You don’t have to do anything, like I said your secret’s safe with me. But, if you did. Tell him, that is. I think you’d be surprised. I’ve never seen anybody as invested in somebody as Simon is in you. He can tell himself he’s trying to catch you “plotting” all he wants, but it goes way beyond that. He talks about you all the time - far more than he ever has about Agatha. I don't think you ever leave his mind.  When you weren’t here at the start of the year he practically broke down. He was constantly on the verge of going off the whole time you were missing. I could hardly breathe over all his magic. Even if he doesn’t realise it, even if you don’t, I think he does reciprocate. And, even if I’m somehow wrong (which I’m definitely not), he wouldn’t hate you for it. Honest,” she says. Oh. Okay. So, Bunce thinks I have a chance. Cool. Good. Great. Crowley. Stay calm, Basilton.

“Okay, Bunce. Whatever you say,” I reply, attempting to keep my voice as flat as possible. She sighs (again), and I hear her swing the door open behind me.

“I just want what is best for Simon. For you too, Baz. I know you don’t want to hurt him. I don’t think you ever have, not really. Neither of you are really happy as is. I just - I just want you to at least give yourselves the chance to be, before it’s too late.” And then, she was gone.

I can feel my heart stuttering within my chest. My mind is racing. Bunce thinks I have a chance with Snow. Bunce thinks Snow may … return my affections. Bunce wouldn’t lie. Aleister Crowley, I’m living a charmed life. She could be wrong though. And even if she’s not, he’s not going to give up Agatha. Nobody in their right mind would, I mean look at her. Should I tell him? Would it ruin everything? I mean, Snow already hates my guts, I’m not sure there is really much left to ruin. But, I can’t. I’m a monster, and Snow’s - well Snow’s decidedly not. I dedicated half my time at this bloody school to being as cruel to him as I possibly could. He could never never love me back, not the way I love him.

[passanima]

elemental gelade rewrite

basically a mix between the anime n manga, without the bad taste

main charas

kou - a teenager who was adopted by sky pirates. he’s eager to prove himself but not quite there yet. doesn’t think before he acts.

ren - a teenager who, due to her experiences, have a hard time trusting people. barely talks at first, to the point of misunderstandings.

secondary

the 3 gang - ciska, rowen, and kea. work for an agency who claims to protect people like ren, but doesn’t treat them like people.

the boss - kou’s mother figure. she’s tough but cares for her crew. kou says she never lies.

ep 1

the sky pirates mission of the day is to steal from a rich man’s ship. kou wants in, but is stopped by the boss. since he can barely fly a ship without crashing it, they won’t be needing his help.

kou is still upset when they’re back with the booty, while listening to their retelling of the events. sure, he isn’t the best pilote... but if they gave him a chance, he could show them that’s he can be useful!

he leaves in the middle of the celebration and pass the room where they left the booty. curious, he goes inside to look around. there’s lots of expensive looking stuff... and some weird pieces of art. but what catch his attention is a coffin ornamented with jewels. some of the gems start shining in a pattern. wondering if he saw that right, kou repeat the pattern by pushing each gem. a click is heard and a slit show itself in the coffin. kou open it up.

inside lies a young girl.

kou panic for a second, until he decide she looks too fresh to be a corpse. she must be... a hyper realistic doll. it’s strange, but he already knows that rich people make no sense. there’s a lot of proof of bad taste in this room alone!

there’s one thing he wonders about and it’s the headband she wears. kou didn’t know it was a common doll accessory and as he extend his hand to touch it... she open her eyes and slap his hand away.

this time kou freaks out for real! in front of him, the doll stand up before looking in his direction. he forget how to breath. maybe... it’s a mechanical doll?

she gets out of the coffin and kou finally decide to move. if it goes around and break he’ll get in real trouble! but when he approach her, she makes a face and escape his grip.

“uh. are you... real?” she frowns and kou feels real stupid. he tries to apologize, for treating her like a doll and all, but her only answer is “i hate you”

outch!

kou isn’t given much time to make the situation better when there’s a loud crash, they both fall to the ground by the force of what crashed into their main ship, and the alarm is heard.

something is wrong, and there’s a civilian with him! he takes her hand, ignore how she tries to push him away, and starts running.

on their way to the cockpit he notice the panic and how everyone keeps busy, mostly by passing weapons and orders. then he find the boss, but gets cut before he has the time to ask anything.

a group of 3 present itself and ask for their “edel reid”

the boss makes a face at that but kou has no idea what they’re talking about. they point to the girl behind him. the not-doll.

one (their leader, he presume) propose money in exchange for her. a good sum at that. kou is appalled. they’re talking about buying a human being! he looks at the boss who notice his protective stance. “what do you think?” she ask with a smile. it’s all the approval he needs before refusing their offer.

the group then becomes violent. their leader take out her weapon and... the woman behind her becomes one. kou’s boss explain that’s a “edel reid”, a person who can turn into a weapon.

there’s no time for further explanation. kou starts running again. the boss buys him time but they eventually catch up. he finally let go of the girl hand to attack back. but there’s a limit to how much damage he can afflict, and soon he’s on the ground, no longer able to protect her.

she falls next to him. having said nothing this whole time, there was still a lot going on inside her head. she didn’t understand why... he did all that. taking her side, protecting her... treating her like a person.

kou tells her to run. she doesn’t.

instead she take the time left before the enemies get to them to pose her forehead on his. kou feels strange, like someone is getting in his head. when he open his eyes again, she disappeared. and in her place, there’s a weapon in his hand.

ep 2

the enemy is on him, and kou can only use his new blade as a shield at first. but it doesn’t last long.

it’s strange how light she is. her weapon form work like an arm extension. he feels at ease even though it’s his first time using her. those “edel reid” can’t be made fun of! he can swing her around without effort!

kou is only starting to have fun when the boss gets back to him. because of the crash and the literal missiles the group leader is throwing around, their main ship is crashing down! he needs to take a smaller one and escape with the girl. she takes her human form again and sit behind kou.

out there, they notice the rest of the crew all in mini-ships... and the enemy group following them. the leader of the small gang shooting in their direction. a wing is touched and kou can’t keep them floating.

instead, he takes out his grappling hook and throw it at the enemy ship. keeping the girl close to him, he lets their own ship crash.

problem is that his hook broke something in the other ship who starts crashing down as well. the landing is rough, but less dramatic than expected. thanks to the hook, kou was able to soften it by slowing down their fall into a tree. the enemy group crashing further away.

on the groupthey take time to recover from the shock and to find a river. after a drink and in the relative calm of the forest, he looks in her direction... and finally ask for her name.

it’s ren, he learns.

they talk for a while, kou really curious about her weapon form. she inform him that they bonded earlier. and that, in exchange, she would like his help to go to a place called “edel garden”. he agrees, when they’re found by the 3 gang again.

their leader tries to gain their trust, saying they won’t attack anymore. instead they’ll just accompany them on their journey.

a carriage pass them and the group ask them to stop but it soon becomes clear why they were in a rush: a beast running after them. it crush the carriage, the 2 inside leaving it just in time.

ren and kou bond to defeat it... or to drive it away. while wielding a weapon is a lot of fun, kou doesn’t have experience, and tend to cut everything but the target. when ren takes back her human form, he gets reprimanded by the leader of the 3 gang. if he’s not careful, he can easily hurt the “edel reid”

kou is upset but can’t react to it with ren falling asleep in his arms. the woman from the 3 gang who’s also a weapon explain than transforming takes a lot of energy. so kou turns to the father and daugher they just saved from the beast for a place to stay. they agree to bring them to their house.

there they’re served food and a place to sleep. at dinner the daughter act strange. asking too many questions. well, only ren seems to notice. she doesn’t eat much before going to her room.

in the night, she disappears.

ep 3

kou notice it when he can’t fall asleep and knock on her door to talk. he wakes the 3 gang and they ask for an explanation to the father. he confess having sold their information to the village master. ren was interesting to him as an “edel reid”

all 4 of them go to get her away from her kidnapper. the 3 gang has a radar that detects all  “edel reid” in close distance.

inside the man’s mansion they meet more beasts (like guard dogs), rowen and kea stay behind to fight them off while kou and the leader go find ren.

when they’re close to the place the radar lead them to, they hear a scream. kou doesn’t wait any longer to crash into the door keeping him away from ren. inside he sees her... and a man holding her by her hair. ren’s headband was removed, exposing a green gem on her forehead.

the man ask which of them is the weapon’s master. ciska, the leader, decide to answer for kou, saying she is the one. ren is thrown aside and a woman get out of the shadow when the man ask for her. she turns into his weapon.

he makes a speech about how powerful ren is, and how he’s ready to kill to own her. ciska and him fight. kou runs to ren’s side. she shaking, hiding her gem with her hand. kou hands her the headband that had fallen to the ground. she is still too tired to transform, and apologize for that. kou tells her not to worry about it.

“but this girl” she starts “isn’t like me”

ren explain that you can create weapons like her, or try at least. they’re just never as strong... and do not live as long either.

the kids try to escape while the adults are busy fighting but the man notice them.

[vespertine-legacy]

I didn’t post about it last night because I was hella tired when we finished up, but Zeke healed on Ravagers on a run with @astrifer-bound and guild, leveling up from 72 to 75 during the run. I sadly didn’t get any screenshots from Ravagers because Bandicam was misbehaving. The level up from 72 to 74 (always fun to have a level jump like that) dropped Zeke’s health to 40% in the middle of a fight, which was super fun and I think gave Lex/Euclideus a mild heart attack since Zeke was really close to one of the giant crab monsters (we were at that point where there are crabs and Bad Dogs (I think?) and a mob that you can pull out of a little building while everyone hides around the corner and then you just blast the bajeezus out of like 40 enemies and anyone on a laptop can say RIP to their graphics card but it’s all good fun). Luckily, Commando healers seem less squishy than Operative healers? I’m enjoying Commando healing: I love the kolto sploot, even if it does briefly make it impossible to see AOE lines (me: “oh fuck, why don’t I just stand in all the stupid?”/Anh: “hey, you sound like me!”), and I love Successive Treatment (ticks to another ally after it heals the first target), and it seems like Zeke can still do decent dps when he doesn’t have to focus heal.

Then later Lex, Gaz, and I switched over to Impside and did some MM flashpoints with Decurra, one of Gaz’s incredibly metro boys, Raz, and the GM of Decurra’s little guild. Got squish-Raz geared up to 302, with some drops that will also be good for gearing Zeke.

MM Athiss was fun, because I don’t think I had ever healed Athiss, just dps and meat tank (aka dps with taunt who doesn’t actually know what she’s doing) on story and vet mode. But it went surprisingly well, and no one died, and I think I actually managed to cleanse every Crushing Affliction the fucking Prophet of Vodal Kressh cast. Usually, that’s what kills me, because I don’t see it in time, but I was not gonna let the bastard take anybody down with it this time.

Cademimu was next, and after joking that Raz was gonna go to jail (Lex: “please...please don’t go to jail. you’re the healer”), Raz immediately got arrested because I Stand In Stupid. Then when the Wookiee came down, his Ugnaught friends immediately swarmed Raz, because might as well (god I wish I had gotten a screencap of Raz just covered in Ugnaughts). THEN, after being very careful to make it onto the last elevator and make it all the way to the bottom, Raz somehow managed to step off the elevator as it was going back up and die. But the only death on the entire run was elevator-related, so that’s...good?

(Raz thinkin’ about Causing Problems back there)

Raz once again talked a lot of shit to Mentor and his minions. Before the final battle, I asked for bets on if the claw was gonna be hungry for blueberries tonight, and guess who it fucking targeted first, before Gaz had even technically pulled the fight. Raz has got to learn to shut her goddamn mouth. (and I’ve got to get that tactical Anh’s crafting for me that will let Raz do more of her heals on the move while she’s running from shit that she inevitably calls down on herself).

[leviathans-tail]

So if anyone couldn’t tell, I’ve been reading some literature over the past couple of weeks. I have mostly been focusing on Dazai and Akutagawa partly due to the third season of Bungou Stray Dogs coming out and re-sparking my interest. I have had these authors and books on my “to-read list” for the longest time and now I’m finally getting around to it and I’m glad I did. I would like to thank BSD for rekindling my interest in reading stuff other than fanfic (not that fanfic is bad but reading on screens hurts my eyes cus my sensory problems and I feel bad printing out five to read them bc trees). Anyway, I still believe that it’s important to read classics from all over the world and growing up in the west, we didn’t exactly have great exposure to authors past the British and French. I remember reading just one of Dostoyevsky’s books in High School and that qualifies as “world literature.” And I absolutely loved the American authors in my American lit class but I was curious about other authors so I’m thankful for BSD for exposing me to some different literature.

Thus far, I can definitely say that i find it interesting to read classic literature that isn’t through a Christian lens bc even Dostoyevsky and other European and American authors often rely on Christianity for their views on morality so it was refreshing to read authors who had a different perspective and I even learned more of Buddhism in the process so that was a big plus. Dazai has a short story where he basically tells the story of Jesus’ betrayal through Judas’ perspective which would not happen from many western authors cus like it’s “sacrelgious” or whatever, so that was interesting. And as a Christian myself, I was very interested to see how someone not raised in this Christian culture would interpret and react to scripture. Akutagawa also has a couple short stories about the persecution of Christians during the Tokugawa goverment’s reign and the Shimabara Rebellion. My favorite was O-Gin because of its tragedy. It was also interesting to see Christianity taking the role of the “suppressed” because we rarely if ever see that through our Western Christianized world lens.

Second thing is big kudos to Dazai for just being a bi-icon (from “Memories”) and just casually stating that he had a crush on a male classmate but then was grossed out bc the guy gave him a newt and he hates newts. Another thing I gotta say about Dazai is that he always finds a way in his short stories (haven’t read his longer works yet they are in the mail), to insert himself but make it vague whereas you know when Akutagawa wants to talk about himself vs just give you a funny story or a historical fiction work.

I think my favorite Dazai short story is “Crackling Mountain” even though Dazai basically says that some women are devious and seduce men and then are cruel blah blah blah. I really enjoy his style of writing and I could really interchange between seeing the main characters as animals and people at the same time which was weird but good. my favorite Akutagawa short story is “Hell Screen” (although Rashomon is a close second). I could make a while post just on Hell Screen bc there’s A LOT there. And “Horse Legs” omg I highly recommend if you like surreal tragicomic works. I actually laughed out loud while reading this which doesn’t happen often when reading.

This post is already all over the place so I might as well add this on. I just finished reading “The Life of a Stupid Man” by Akutagawa which was published after his suicide and it was like one of the last things he left. It’s kind of an autobiography and kind of a suicide note if you ask me. Whatever the case, it definitely made me feel differently about Akutagawa as an actual person. Going into this I knew he was feeling a lot of pressure from his extended family bc he was the primary breadwinner for all of them and he had kids that would get sick, and relatives that were killing themselves or losing jobs, etc. so I just thought that he couldn’t take the pressure and eventually snapped. I wasn’t aware that he was uhhh just f***ing around. Like this one chick he pursued aggressively then was like “woah there jk” when she started pursuing him back. She even told him that a kid she had with her husband was his like what. According to himself,Akutagawa stopped cheating on his wife when he was thirty and you can tell that in “The Life of a Stupid Man” that he feels some sort of regret for his affairs. He keeps saying how he’s an awful husband, father, and brother but like he was supporting everyone which was admirable so why feel that way otherwise? One thing I found almost comical in this short story was when he talked about his platonic woman friend that he made after turning thirty and he was like “He did not die with her, but he took a certain satisfaction in his never having touched her.” Like good job bud you managed not to f*** one of your woman friends. But I think he was proud because if he has this “affliction” it would be easy to fall back into your old ways lol. Maybe having a platonic relationship with a woman was a goal of his before he died idk. He also makes reference to himself and other authors (including Gogol) being possessed by some sort of demon and that’s why they all go crazy and/or commit suicide and he knew that he was gonna do one or the other too. He says “all that lay before him was madness or suicide,” and then talks about how a close friend of his went mad and is in the hospital.

There’s another quote a little bit before that where Akutagawa states that “not everyone is moved by literature. His own works were unlikely to appeal to people who were not like him and had not lived a life like his...” and like idk how much I agree with him there if I’m being honest. I’d say I’m one of the furthest things from the type of person Akutagawa was and I still very much enjoyed his literature. And there I think he is again doubting his abilities and being self-deprecating (duh the title). He was able to write stories that despite their placement in history showed the best and worst parts of humanity and that will resonate with every generation. And like I think anyone will laugh at “Horse Legs” -it’s a dude walking around with hooves that he has to hide bc the death people messed up and he died too early and they needed to send him back but his own legs were rotten already and Horse Legs were all that was available. Cmon that’s funny

Anyway I might add on later or make another post to document my feelings/reactions to more literature idk

[thefloorisbalaclava]

From Darkness To Light - Ignis Scientia x Reader - Part 2

The story was supposed to be a one shot but I couldn’t stop myself. This story will have multiple parts and will go from fluff, to angst, to...a little bit of everything.

This part includes a short passage from Ignis’ perspective and it’s pretty angsty.

Also, I see Ignis as the type of guy who falls for people very easily, but tries to talk himself out of it because he lost someone very close to him. He helps others (reader in this instance) because it’s his way of blocking out his sadness/loneliness.

Words: 1,279 Warnings: some angst at the end

His cooking was some of the best you ever had. He surprised you by asking you to pick a bottle of wine to go with dinner. You poured glasses for the both of you and Ignis sniffed his before taking a sip.

“Ah, Sauvignon Blanc…good choice. Someone knows their wine.”

You blushed at his praise. “I was…I knew a guy who really enjoyed his wine…among other things.”

He could hear the sadness in your voice and rushed to change the subject. “How do you find the food?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s delicious, Ignis. Best I’ve ever had.”

He smiled sheepishly. “You flatter me. Thank you.” He placed a hand over his heart and bowed his head.

“May I ask you something?” The wine had you feeling bold.

“Of course,” he said, sitting back in his chair and crossing one leg over the other.

“Does anyone call you Iggy?” You looked at him over your wine glass and smirked at the face he made.

“Yes. Want to know what else they call me?” You nodded excitedly. “Well…they call me Specs.”

You sputtered on your wine and covered your mouth, trying your hardest not to laugh. “Specs?” you giggled. He nodded and chuckled. “And you don’t mind?”

He shook his head. “Not at all.” He took another sip of wine. “How about you? What do your friends call you?”

“I…uh…I don’t have friends,” you mumbled.

“Surely you have some friends,” Ignis said, furrowing his brow.

“No…” Somehow, he reached out and found your hand then squeezed it.

“I hope you’ll consider me a friend someday.”

You look down at his hand then up at him, your eyes filling with tears. “Of course…Iggy.” You giggled through your tears when he grimaced.

“Well, I guess we must be friends now considering I only let my closest friends call me that.”

You squeezed his hand this time. “Friends.”

He ran his thumb over the back of your hand for a moment then pulled his hand away. “How rude of me, I never showed you where you’ll be staying.” He stood, and you followed. “This would be my room,” he said, pointing to the left. You peeked in and smiled at how neat everything was. His bed was made with the pillows propped perfectly against the headboard. His room even smelled clean.

“The guest room is just here.” He felt for the light switch and flipped it on.

“Wow,” you gasped.

“Is it to your liking?”

“It’s more than I could ever ask for. It’s more than I deserve. A-are you sure about this? I feel like I’m intruding…”

“Everyone deserves a safe place to stay…a roof over their head, dear.”

You sniffled. “Thank you.”

“The bathroom is this way.” He walked out of the room and further down the hall. You gasped again when you walked into the bathroom.

“Holy shit,” you whispered then looked at Ignis. “Sorry…”

“I’ve heard worse.” He smiled reassuringly. “As I said, I will be leaving tomorrow and I don’t know how long I’ll be away.” A sadness washed over you suddenly. “Would you like a number with which you can contact me?” He seemed to blush a little after asking.

“Sure, thanks.” You walked with him back to the living room. You looked out the window and saw that the sun had fully set, and a beautiful full moon was high in the sky.

“I don’t mean to be forward, but do you have clothing or anything like that?” he asked unexpectedly.

“All my stuff is back there…”

“We’ll have to do something about that then, won’t we?”

“Ignis…I can’t ask you to do that…” It was bad enough you were staying in the man’s home. There was no way you were going to let him worry about clothes as well.

“You’re not asking though, are you? I’m offering.” He smiled confidently knowing that he was right.

“I’ll pay you back one day,” you promised.

“That isn’t necessary,” he insisted.

“I have a job. I’ll pay for my share.”

He held up his hand and shook his head. “Let me help you, please.”

“Ignis…” You sighed and closed your eyes. “Will you let me do anything for you?” you asked.

“Of course,” he said.

“What?”

“Accept my help,” he quipped, and you rolled your eyes.

“Guess I’ll just have to surprise you then.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

A thought struck you then, but he couldn’t be that kind of guy. He didn’t want money. He didn’t want gifts so what exactly did he want from you?

“Ignis?”

“Hm?”

“Do you…want something from me?” you asked, unable to look at him.

“I just told you…” He stopped and inhaled deeply. “Gods, no! I would never ask that of you.” He cleared his throat, his face red now. “Six…” he said under his breath. “I’m sorry if I gave you that idea. That was no my intention.”

“It was a stupid question, I’m sorry…”

“I understand why you might be wary of me, of what I’m doing, but please understand…this is coming from my heart and I have no ulterior motive or ill intent. I told you, I enjoy helping others. I’ve spent my life doing it and I don’t mean to stop.”

“I trust you,” you said, and he sighed in relief.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asked.

“Yes…stop doing things for me,” you joked, and he smiled.

“No promises.” You walked over and picked his glasses up from the table he left them on. “I’m afraid I must be off to bed now. I have to be up quite early.”

“Okay.” He stood in the same spot for a time and you made your way over to him, taking his hand and placing his glasses in it. You took a deep breath then stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek and his breath hitched. “Goodnight, Ignis. Thanks again.”

“I…right…goodnight.”

You smirked. You quite liked flustered Ignis.

Ignis

He went to his room a short time after he heard the guest room door shut. He sat on his bed for a long while, touching his cheek gently where she had kissed him. It was ridiculous that he felt this way over a simple kiss on the cheek, but his heart was all aflutter. The glasses were still in his hand, but he didn’t notice because he could only think of her.

Astrals above, how he wished he could see her. He cursed his affliction, almost crushing his glasses in his grip. She would never want anything to do with him no matter how much he helped her. For the few short hours he had known her, she had made him feel things he hadn’t felt in so long, but he knew it could go no further. She would leave eventually, and he would go back to being on his own and wishing things were different.

Perhaps, she was only being kind to him because he was blind…because she pitied him.

He shook his head. No, she wasn’t like that, but he knew when the time came he would have to let her go. He cursed himself for getting attached to her so easily in the first place. She was only someone he was helping, and it ended at that. He had to keep his feelings in check. Maybe him leaving was a good thing; it would give him a chance to clear his mind.

He had built a wall around his heart after…what happened, but for some reason he felt it crumbling away after meeting her. While he was away, he would build it back up and make sure it stayed that way.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

A STUDENT'S GUIDE TO CORP DEV

When you talk about code-size ratios, you're implicitly assuming that you can use, if the language will let you, is something called bottom-up program should be easier to modify as well, and we couldn't see any reason not to use it in all his paintings, wouldn't he? The unusual thing about Lisp—people who know that Lisp is a slow AI language with a lot of code. The best way to put it is to say that a hacker about to write a serious program using only the built-in operators in Common Lisp operators are comically long. It's always alarming when two people trying the same experiment get widely divergent results. Writers now deliberately write things to draw traffic from aggregators—sometimes even specific ones. There is one other language still surviving from the 1950s, Fortran, and it frees conscious thought for the hard problems. VCs and startups to diverge.

It doesn't even have x Blub feature of your choice. I've detected this investors aren't worth the trouble, that could be dangerous for VCs. So saying startups should move to Silicon Valley is not even a nationalistic one. It wouldn't work otherwise. Bulgaria, we could offer a better product for less money, and partly because I think I can prove I'm right. But another kind of efficiency will be increasingly important: the number of failures and yet leave you net ahead. Once the libraries get too big, they become overwhelmed. IBM's big mistake was to accept a non-exclusive license for DOS.

Perhaps the best policy is to make it something that they thought ugly. It's not simply a matter of degree. Though quite successful, it did not crush Apple. Would we be just as likely to feel life was short if we lived 10 times as long? There are few corporations in which it was socially acceptable to work for business too. If you understand how compilers work, what's really going on is not so much that Lisp has no syntax. I am not surprised to hear it. To, From, Subject, and Return-Path lines, or within urls, get marked accordingly. Then for each ask, might this be true? I'm about to propose a theory that will offend both liberals and conservatives. But in practice a good profiler may do more to improve the performance of their algorithm, let alone superior to the latest developments? For example, it returned false for Montaigne, who was arguably the inventor of the essay.

We have such labels today, of course, and this is especially true of a highly articulated tool like a programming language is good as a programming language rather than, say, an implementation. But I think there is room to beat languages like Perl and Python at their own game. It would take a book to answer that. At Viaweb now Yahoo Store, this software continues to dominate its market. Suppose we could somehow feed these reporters false information about market closes, but give them all the time. You have to be over some threshold of expertise for expressing an opinion. Having kids showed me how to convert a continuous quantity, time, into discrete quantities. If you just need to feed data from one format to another. If we think 20th century cohesion was something that happened at least in a sense naturally. He often used to tell them that a perfect formulation of a problem is already half its solution.

And such an algorithm would be easy for spammers to spoof: just add a big chunk of each series A company to compensate for the opportunity cost of the board seat it consumes. If the same person does both, they'll inevitably mumble downwards at the computer screen instead of talking clearly at the audience. You find the same in music and art. If you're eating at a restaurant you suspect is bad, your best bet is to order the cheeseburger. If I had ever seen a job posting looking for Lisp hackers, I would learn more about macros. There should be online documentation as well. You can see that in the way of Perl's popularity. Copernicus was a canon of a cathedral, and dedicated his book to the pope. Every futon sofa in Cambridge seemed to have the same fat white book lying open on it. Everyone knows that it's not true. Unless there's some huge market crash, the next couple years. Perhaps a better solution is to add a delay before people can respond to a comment, and make you a better programmer, and yet pay a higher price for them.

What about returns, though? And so interfaces tend not to give you distance, you have to say actually is a list of n things the writer agrees to constrain himself to a collection of angel investments, and most of the time not to defend yourself. Humans also seem designed to work in. The form of fragmentation, like the Hoover Dam. The challenge is whether we can keep things this way. Macros, introduced by Lisp in about 1960, is now widely considered to be improper. As for it being impossible, I reply: here's the data; here's the theory; theory explains data 100%. Version 1 of the national economy consisted of a few giant companies dominating each big market. When startups came back into fashion, around 2005, investors were starting to write checks again, they may not reconverge once the economy gets better. ITA's president, I assume they got this number from ITA. But this is a kind of argument that might be convincing. Including, I hope, the problem that has afflicted so many previous communities: being ruined by growth.

The trick is to pay careful attention to how you qualify what you say. Kids' heads are repositories of all our taboos. So if Lisp makes you a better programmer, and yet he knows what language you should write it in. If you can't find ten Lisp hackers, I would have been there when HN started. In fact, why should the pointy-haired boss, the difficulty of hiring programmers, I think, McCarthy found his theoretical exercise transformed into an actual programming language—and a more powerful one than he had intended. I mean five years if nothing goes wrong. In 1917, doing everything himself seemed to Ford the only way to get those initial twenty users is probably to use a completely different voice and manner talking to a roomful of people than you would in conversation. But they're still not as fast as possible.

Dylan: Scheme has no libraries, and Lisp syntax is scary. This really is kind of high, but I personally have timed out. My theory doesn't require that. This makes the programmer do the kind of conversations freshmen have late at night in common rooms: What is our purpose? Paradoxically, one of the most important places for learning about new languages like Perl and Python at their own game. If you work for. Genes count for little by comparison: being a genetic Leonardo was not enough to make all the text legible. And what, exactly, is hate speech? Perl 4 and Perl 5, lexical closures got added to the language he had designed. As a result workers' wages also tended toward market price. Nowadays Valley VCs are more likely to know they're being stupid.