#i just haven't really touched it since 2020

[prosebushpatch]

So I decided to restart my animal crossing new leaf for the 3ds file completely but I didn't know that Tom Nook would OFFER TO BUY the entire town and let you carry over the money to the new town and it's hysterical because the mayor basically peaces out, cashes in on 30 million bells, changes entire identity, and accidentally becomes the mayor in a new town. There's a fanfic there but I'm too lazy to write it.

[evenstarfalls]

Man i am so fucking tired of this orchestra

[somecunttookmyurl]

extremely ymmv but i've had multiple psychotic episodes a year, every year, since 2006 that were entirely untreated until 2020 because literally nobody would believe it was happening. still entirely untreated bc frankly meds just made me feel like ass and i long ago employed One Simple Trick (Psychitrists Hate Her) for turning that from an always-distressing experience to "mildly annoying, only occasionally distressing and still less so"

gonna share it with you okay. you ready. again ymmv

the only hallucinations/delusions that it actually matters whether they are real for everyone or just real for you are ones that could put you in actual physical danger.

ex: i frequently experience the lights flashing in what i can only assume is morse code. does it matter if anybody else is seeing that? only in the sense that if they are i need to change the lightbulb i guess. at the start i never tried 'translating' or figuring that out in any way because i was too busy being extremely upset about it. i still haven't de-coded my lightbulbs because I Do Not Fucking Care and It Does Not Fucking Matter. this could have been an email. this should be an email, actually. it's a mildly annoying distraction but does it matter if it's "really" "happening"? Not in the fucking least.

Does it matter if the cool shop I was so VERY sure was there last week but which is now a coffee shop everyone insists has been there for 10 years actually did exist or not? Literally no! It's still Not There right now whether it was there last week or not so this changes absolutely nothing.

Listen. Look at me. For... most people I think, a lot of the distress from psychosis comes not from the direct content of any hallucinations or delusions (some very much are genuinely unpleasant in their own right, obviously) but from questioning reality and being unsure what's real and what isn't. Realising and internalising that unless something is going to actually directly impact your life in some way it doesn't matter drastically cuts this down

"is this real?" is the wrong question. "does it matter if it's real? like actually?" if the answer is no because "it" happens to be a cat that is in your kitchen when you do not own cat then like. whatever, dude. you got bonus cat company for the duration whether it was "objectively" "real" or not anyway.

(last one brought to you by an old friend who was hallucinating an entire cat but was freaking out because it was in the doorway and she did not know if something bad would happen if she touched it, and then i pointed out that it doesn't matter if the cat is there or not and doesn't matter if touching it would be a bad idea because it is cat sized and you can... step over it. that is not really a problem and even if it were it's a problem for the future version of you who does not have to pee unfortunately i have never hallucinated an entire extra cat)

[f-t-e]

I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)

I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.

Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.

-----

Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond

What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)

This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.

Awake and Annoying by skycruise

I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things. 

Living the life you chose by allthismusic

THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)

your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)

Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)  

Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel 

Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.

Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)

This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!

i loved you first by kalmialatifolia

A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.

no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous 

A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.

 no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)

One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.

Stay by redbrickrose

This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.

like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)

Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.

maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)

The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.

Earlier Canon (pre S15)

Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)

Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.

you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy

You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.

the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)

This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.

virtue by JenTheSweetie

I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)

Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour 

This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)

que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)

The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely. 

the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)

This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good! 

four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)

Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible. 

Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat

Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.

[onebizarrekai]

Fic Author Interview

I've been tagged by @unmaskedcardinal! been a while since I talked about any of this stuff, particularly as a very inconsistent fic poster haha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

the visible number linked to my account is currently 60, no idea if this is counting the bizarre saga from my archive account or not. technically I've posted more, but they aren't part of that number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

567,314.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ibvs season 1 & season 2 are (thankfully) the top two on my account, considering they're… well. ibvs.

number 3 is formal humiliation, a utmv fic back in 2019 where I wrote 3 oneshots all with different pairs surrounding the same idea. it's uh, it's something.

4 is behave, a saiouma despair disease fic I wrote sort of ironically in 2020. I did not realize this weird oneshot would be the thing that jumpstarted my kage obsession.

5, for some reason, is glow, a ds fic I wrote in 2019. I do not know why this is the ds fic with the most kudos. I am just really glad that it's not one of the ones I wrote in 2018.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

lately I have been trying to respond to more comments, if they're on a recent enough story and I can think of a way to answer.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

most of the fics I've written right now have been Random Spot In Time fics with no articulate ending, but game over is pretty edgy. I think. I've written a similarly edgy ending but it's in an anonymous fic. it occurs to me that edgy doesn't necessarily mean angst, but it can.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

somehow everyone lived happily ever after in the bizarre saga, no f'ing idea how they managed that

7. Do you write crossovers?

I have. I have as comedies. I tend to take a bunch of guys and put them in a new setting that they definitely shouldn't be in. poopenster high is an example of this, but none of that has ever touched the internet and I haven't touched it in like 2 years.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

oh my god like. maybe once? maybe? I don't even think it counted as hate. I think like several years ago some rando complained that season 2 of ibvs was trying too hard to be funny. I barely remember what it actually said, I just remember it being annoying.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

when I was in my v3 phase I wrote some, I think "feelings with smut" describes most of it decently. the nature of the kcu meant it was like, almost all trippy.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dunno. I hope not. I think I've had people repost stuff without permission.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

probably?? when I was a teen I had people say they wanted to translate my utmv fics, I don't know which ones actually followed through anymore.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

(sigh) yes.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

oh god, I think I honestly just phase around stuff. I don't think I've ever permanently latched onto a pair, it's just that I've had fandoms and I have pairs that I've ended up liking in them and they just sort of stay that way even if stop paying attention to the fandom. I like most ships that happens to fit into my favorite criteria (that being protagonist/morally ambiguous deuteragonist or antagonist). if you asked me what my favorite series is, it would be an easier question. it's zelda. but I don't really have any permanent favorite ships in zelda.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

this is a scary question because I have a number of major wips that I want to get back into once I get back into writing and I refuse to accept that they may not get finished. I don't know. moose hill? for a little while I wanted to see if I could come up with a whole side story, but it is extremely unlikely that will happen. maybe a better example is a continuation of shuichi and kage's blackout adventure, which is pretty low on the priority list for if my brain every gets infected by danganronpa again.

15. What are your writing strengths?

the jokes are very important. I put my heart and soul into them. I hope that people can see my vision when I tell them.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

actually doing the writing getting from point A to point B. I come up with this whole outline and realize there's 2000 words of empty space that needs to happen. and it's like dull shit, too. just plain old events. like look at them, it's the lunching hours again. because lunch is a thing that happens every day. is it redundant to have lunch too many times? it can't possibly! it's the only time they can talk to each other! do I need to pan the camera again because this 3 sentence exchange has dragged on for too long? help

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

makes sense to me. or like, depends on the context. if the POV is a character who can speak the language, the reader should probably get to know what they're saying (think like, subtitled sections of a movie), unless it's really easy to decipher. but if the POV can't understand it, the reader shouldn't necessarily know. it gets more complicated if it takes place in a setting where they should logically be speaking a language that is not english for example. like, if they're in a country where they are not speaking english but the fic is in english. it wouldn't really make sense to insert interjections in their home language because they're not speaking english in the first place. I guess it all depends on what you're trying to convey.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

sonic. does it count. I started writing once I was old enough to type. but I think the first story I ever put online was zelda.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

on occasion I entertain the idea of writing for corpse party, but that's probably not going to happen.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm going to not include that one anonymous fic and my pile of unfinished longfic wips that I've been proud of in past years is way too big so… maybe game over?? it's complicated. I have a ton of comedy pieces that I love but they're just… not completed!!

[ feel free to fill this out yourself if you're a fic writer! ]

[akafred32092]

I absolutely *loved* the Junior Year opener.

Spoilers ahoy

So much of the episode, like opening mid-battle, the setting/battle map, the introduction of new elements being treated like common knowledge, the vessel being the target of attack rather than the PCs themselves, & just a special kind of chaotic energy, really reminded me of Starstruck in the best way possible.

It makes sense, too. Starstruck was their 1st time back in the dome together since early 2020, and this is a return to characters they haven't played in-dome since then.

ALL THE MINIS!

But, based on stuff from the trailer & the episode, I'm kinda worried about Cassandra...

I freaking loved the introduction of new adventuring companions as if they were already fan favorites! 10/10 zero notes.

*The hand touching* ❤️

The fact that Brennan took an offhand "Speak not of The Night Yorb" comment & made it a literal mechanic of his monster?? *chefs kiss*

[andrewlloydwebber]

sondheim/furth's company should have stayed a retroactive period piece. when it premiered in 1970, it was set in present day and there have been several revisions since, even before the gender swapped "bobbie version". the idea is to update the setting to present day, which is fine i guess, but frankly stuff like changing "look i'll call you in the morning or my service will explain" to "i'll call you in the morning or i'll TEXT YOU and explain" or references to the seagrams building changing the infamous "drag" rhyme, is just the theatrical version of the "landlord special". the cultural references and plot points of company are so, so, so early 70s.

if bobby turned 35 in the year 1970, he was born in 1935. if bobby turned 35 in 1995, he was born in 1960. if bobbie turned 35 in 2020, she was born in 1985. the differences in generations/ages between these bobbies is not insignificant.

smoking weed might be a new and exciting experience for 30 somethings in the 1970s, but that's not really necessarily the case for someone who graduated high school in 1978 or 2003. the whole karate scene isn't really something that would happen in the "modern era".

the lyrics to "the ladies who lunch" describe women reading copies of time magazine ("just to keep in touch") and going to matinees of pinter plays (there were four total broadway productions of harold pinter plays between 2010 and 2020). they lounge in caftans and goes to classes in optical art and drinks vodka stingers. the woman joanne describes would be "of a certain age" in 1970, but elderly in 2020. at this point, sondheim should have rewritten the lyrics to reference botox and spanx, but at this point, they should have just written an entirely original musical.

just keep Company set in the original time period and watch it as a period piece, reflect on things that haven't changed and things that have.

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #5: Choi San

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

ASMR

Like Seonghwa, San also tried his hand at ASMR and appeared twice on M2's Tingle Interview series. Once with Wooyoung in 2020 (San did great and Wooyoung was just confused af by what they were asking him to do - it's hilarious):

And once with Yunho in 2021 (Yunho did a lot better than Wooyoung - he seemed to actually know what he was getting himself into):

The Sanchelin Guide

Like the others, San launched his own series in 2020 and his is all about "critiquing" restaurants (really, it's just him giving anime girl reactions in a voice over while we watch him eat - it's fantastic):

Episode 2 was released shortly after the first, with Episode 3 following in early 2021 and Episode 4 in mid-2022, marking the latest addition to the series.

Cover Songs

San posted his first cover song to Ateez's channel last year.

Lee Hi's Breathe suits his voice incredibly well, going from sweet and soft to powerful high notes. It's a deeply emotional song with a backstory that was shared in the comments by a YouTube user:

Transcript:

nikki6030: He covered a song which is rather a very emotional song if you have been in Kpop for long… it was a song composed by SHINee Jonghyun (RIP my angel) for Lee Hi who suffered from panic disorder and breathing difficulty… Lee Hi sang this song once again after Jonghyun’s departure and made everyone cry… this song is just that special & San’s beautiful vocal reminded me of Jonghyun… and how idols struggle and feel being the public’s entertainment…. Let’s spread Love!!

2 months ago, San and Jongho collaborated on a cover of IU's Dear Name:

From songs like Turbulence, we already knew their voices sound breathtaking together, but this cover really highlights all aspects in which they mesh well. At 4:05, when the song builds, my heart stops until San comes in and they both harmonize - it's such a gorgeous cover.

Pentatonix Collab

Many don't seem to know this, but two years ago, Yunho, San, and Jongho were featured on a Pentatonix song called A Little Space which even included a Korean verse:

Imitation Soundtrack

Like Yunho, Seonghwa, and Jongho, San was part of the Imitation cast and, within the show-verse, part of the group Sparkling, together with Seonghwa and Yunho.

Since this is the third post on which I'm posting a Diamond performance, here's a fun fact for those who haven't watched the show (yet): going by the show's canon, Jongho's group, Shax, debuted prior to Sparkling so they had the running joke on set that Jongho needed to be addressed formally by the other three since he was their senior. Good times.

Dancing

8 months ago, San's dance performance to Imagine Dragons' Warriors was released, featuring a choreography San, BBtrippin, and TARZAN collaborated on:

It's got everything you'd expect from San-level quality in a performance: controlled power, facial expression, palpable emotion - it's gripping, it's stunning, and the camera work, costumes, lighting and editing are only enhance it all the more. We even get a touch of CGI to bring it all together and make it look as grand as it feels:

[mattsturniololoverr]

~The after party~

A/n: guys this is my first fic please correct me on anything wrong and request ideas!Summary: y/n finally meets the triplets a week before her best friends birthday party , let's say alot happens.....

Warnings:  a series - definitely smut in the next-chapter -drinking - smoking - m/f receiving - Dom!Matt - p in V - unprotected sex - degradation - praising - use of y/n - getting caught

pt2 pt3

-------------------------------------------

I was getting ready for my best friend Laney's 21st birthday. I didn't really know anyone except Laney and a couple other people , but it was mainly an influencer get together cos nearly everyone going had at least 1 mill on YouTube or tiktok or something at this point.

All I knew was that the triplets would be there and what can I say , they're hot and they know it. I've only collabed with a few people once or twice and with the triplets once and let's say it went quite well. Well I would say so....

*- Last week -*-

I was sat at my desk putting on the last finishing touches of my make-up. Then suddenly my phone bussed and bussed and bussed until I answered.

"Hello?..."

"Hey! It's me nick I got your number of Laney! Hope you don't mind , I should have texted you first but just wanted to ask if you wanted to come round sometime you seem fun!!!!!"

"Omg nick you scared me I thought this was some random freak! but yeah of course I would love to come round some time!"

"Okay girly sorry for scaring you *he laughs* , is tomorrow okay I could get Matt to come get you?"

"Yeah! Okay that sounds good , should we say 2pm???"

"Yeah! That's perfe- CHRIS SHUT UP. I am so sorry Chris ran out of Pepsi I'll see you tomorrow bye girl!"

"Byee!!"

Once he hung up , I texted Laney straight away.

Me: LANEYNICK RUNG SAYING HE WANTS ME TO COME OVER TOMORROW AT 2

Me: LANEY ANSWER RN

My wife🤍: WHAT OMGG YESSSS

My wife🤍: maybe you'll actually get recognised on YouTube now 🙄🙄🙄 BUT YAY

Me: IKKK AAHHHHH

I was so excited to meet them , especially Matt. Ever since I started watching their videos when they started all the way back in 2020 which is crazy , It feels like I've known them for years but realistically I know them they just don't know me.

It feels weird to say that but it's true and I feel so excited that I'm actually going to be meeting them! And of course I'm excited I'm meeting them all but I just have a thing for Matt , well I mean who wouldn't look at the man he's stunning.

-*- tomorrow -*-

I slowly opened my eyes to the blaring sound of my alarm , I had to set off extremely early because otherwise I would be waking up at 7pm. And of course I can't be late with meeting them that would be so embarrassing , so instead I woke up 7 hours earlier than I needed to so I have extra time to be prepared , who knows what's gonna happen. ( Little does she know a lot is gonna happen )

-*- 2 hours later -*-

Ive just finished in the shower I used my favourite shampoo to make my hair look shiny and blonde and my strawberry body wash. After I felt fresh and clean , I realised that I had taken 2 hours in the shower which was longer than I thought but that's okay because I have another 5 hours left. I sat down and tied my hair in a towel and started doing my skin care , I was just about to put on my toner until my phone bused.

Nick💜: is it okay if Matt picks you up in like an hour?? Chris decided we all need to go mini golfing. It was his idea not mine don't blame me 😭.

Me: that's okay haha and yeah that's fine I'll be ready in an hour!

I had an hour to get ready and I didn't know if I was gonna make it. I had to skip half of my skin care and get straight to my makeup with my primer and then foundation and then the rest. I had just about finished my makeup now just drying my hair but I looked at the clock behind me on my wall above my mirror to find that I only had 15 minutes left until Matt was here , and I didn't have time to dry and curl my hair , I haven't even picked out my outfit!?

I rushed with drying my hair so much that I forgot to buy anti frizz spray so I quickly sprayed it on hoping it would work.

.5 minutes left okay that's not too bad , I nearly tour my whole wardrobe apart trying to find the perfect outfit , I had found out a blue Bandana type tube top and some baggy black jeans and my converse and I had my silver Vivienne Westwood earrings in and my silver horse necklace what my dad gave me before he moved states.

Once I put on my outfit and the finishing touches my phone rang , it was Matt , well I presumed it was since it was bang on 11 o'clock and an unknown number.

"Hey it's Matt , nick gave me your number and I think I'm outside"

"If it has a white door then yes that's my house lol its in-between to house with black doors"

"Oh shi- wrong house hold on"

I could hear Matt drop the phone and the car reversing.

"Ok now I'm here"

"Okay I'm on my way"

Once I hung up I opened my door to Matt outside greeting me with a hug.

"Hi sorry about being really early It was Chris's fault".

He said with a small hue of pink in his cheeks.

"Haha don't worry about it , I love mini golf anyway" i smiled at him.

He started heading to the passenger door and opened with the kind words of

"lady's first".

I gave him a smile and couldn't help but blush that the boy I have been crushing over for 4 years is opening the door for me.

During the car ride Matt seemed stressed , I could see him fiddling with his rings every time we stopped at a red light. I didn't realise but I was also really nervous , so nervous I started playing with the horse on my necklace.

He seemed to pick up on it maybe 5-10 minutes into the drive to get nick and Chris.

"If you're nervous , me too I hate when nick just asks people to Collab without asking me and Chris , I think he knows I'll love it once I get to know the person but it would be nice to ask you know" he said with slight anger in his voice."I didn't mean that I don't want you here cos I do- but not in that wa- unless you want it to be- I'm gonna stop now" he said cutting himself off after a couple words.

"Matt it's okay I'm nervous too , I've been watching your guys videos since you started , it feels like I'm meeting someone like Justin Bieber right now like a full on celebrity" he chuckles at the end of my sentence.

"Hey we have the same necklace" I said trying to change the awkwardness as I turned my head towards him.He looked to the right to see what we did.

"Ha I didn't realise , I got this from my mom".

"Mines from my dad before he moved states".

The only difference with our necklaces was that the horses were facing opposite ways to each other.

-*-time skip-*-

It's been a couple hours since we all got home from mini golfing , let me just say Chris is a very sore loser , I think Matt won then nick , then me and lastly chris.

We were all sat together on the couch , watching ru Paul as me and nick loved it.

Only Chris and Matt were on the phone.I was starting to move around cos I was sitting in an uncomfortable position but Matt's phone flew out his hand when I accidentally knocked his arm.

"I'm so sorry!"

I whispered in embarrassment as I picked his phone up only to see him on my Instagram and all my pictures were liked. I turned my head towards him only to find him looking right back at me with the most red cheeks I've ever seen. Once we made contact he looked at the floor immediately.I slid his phone back to him on the couch , and sat back in my seat trying to forget what just happened.

-*- 1 hour later -*-

My mind was racing , what if Matt liked me or was he just being a nice friend? No? Yes? I don't even know anymore.

I tried everything I could to stop thinking about it but now could I until I got a message

Matt: come to my room after? We need to speak.

I just looked at him and turned back to my phone and nodded trying not to make it to obvious to his brother what was going on.I was just thinking about what's gonna happen before nick interrupted

"Chris I'm hungry let's go get food , Matt show y/n around the house properly shes only seen the living room for Christ sake"

Once nick and Chris left Matt stood up almost immediately. He grabbed my hand and dragged me to his room and slammed the door behind me.

"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to happen like this".

[phoenixyfriend]

Last night I stayed up until about 4 AM rereading @glimmerglanger's fic "Bush League," and then today I got around to gushing about how their Cody characterization is basically one of the best on AO3 in Discord. Since I like to make sure the people whose fics I like actually hear that love, I'm going to share what I said here.

(Also to convince to read some of their stuff even if you haven't already. CodyWan isn't even in my main ships but I still read their stuff because it's just that good, and also because their Cody is so good.)

This goes out to imo one of the best fic writers I've run across in this fandom.

So to kick this off, I jumped into SW fandom right about when CodyWan was ramping up. I joined Feb/Mar of 2020, and that coincided (though I didn't know it) with the S7 release. That means that the ship was basically everywhere, and a lot of my early fic reads were based off of things that other people recced to me, things linked under cool fanart, things by authors I already knew from other fandoms, or niche trope searches.

Among those early longfics I read were a few glimmerglanger pieces, namely "Like Real People Do" (I don't actually remember how I found this one, it was probably fanart), "A Slow Fall Towards Grace" (through omegaverse filtering), "Flotsam and Jetsam" (tumblr fanart), and "Home on the Range" (don't remember how I found it, probably recced, or after I started following them on tumblr).

Bush League came later but it's also one of the best examples.

So this author is, IMO, really good in general. I don't have the same interps of canon across the board (because Star Wars is massive and you pick and choose your canon because it conflicts with itself, so everyone takes a different road for interp), but objectively, their fics are very solid and internally coherent.

They are particularly good at:

- Subtlety and nuance - Unreliable narration - Small hints of outside events that suggest a fuller universe

What canon gives us about Cody is that he's:

- very competent - well-respected - puts high value on loyalty to his brothers - puts high value on loyalty to his ideals (represented by the Republic) - while he has a dry sense of humor, he's also prone to playing personal things close to the chest (that parts a bit YMMV but it's the vibe I got) - he trusts Rex a nearly insane amount

What glimmerglanger does in their Cody POV fics is play those elements against each other in an understated way that feels genuinely human. Bush League has the main conflict embodied through 'loyalty to ideals' hitting cross-purposes with itself, and 'plays it close to the chest' heightening the problem until something snaps. That Cody's ideals are in conflict because there is what he was instilled with (a significant amount of internalized homophobia and toxic masculinity) and his better sense that he can be better, unlearn some of these things, that maybe his parents weren't right, and that Ben is a swell guy, maybe it's not that big of a deal that Ben likes guys, it's not a huge flaw when he can pitch like that, right

Crucially, lot of it isn't presented consciously. Cody doesn't realize he's unlearning some of those things, that he's subconsciously very aware that the things he was taught are wrong, that he's consciously trying to find compromises in those thoughts because the last eighteen years of things he knows can't be wrong, right?

And of course all this balances with the regular, small reminders that, if he is this thing he was taught is bad, if he is friends with someone that is 'bad,' then he will have one of his primary character traits (loyalty and love for brothers) sabotaged. This is even touched on in the epilogue of the fic.

Honestly, IDK how intentional it was to parallel this sort of denial and internal conflict to "Cody starts to question the structure of the army and has to hide his slow realization that they are slaves, is even in denial about it, because to speak out means to have his authority and influence removed, so he can't even try to keep his brothers safe anymore," ...but that is something I also like to see in Cody characterization, and it's definitely a good parallel if so.

glimmerglanger's skill with nuance and subtlety is something I really appreciate in general, because my focus as a reader tends to be short comedy, which often doesn't have the same room for dynamic, developed characterization. (My other focus is time travel, which runs the gamut, but that's a different rec list.)

I think that, on a casual read, some of their writing can come across as a very 'standard' reading of Cody, but it's never actually flat. The flaws and thought patterns tend to be pretty consistent across works, so even in wild AUs, I have the sense that this is the same person. I'm also a huge believer in how denial, especially characters very consciously not thinking something, can inform a character to the reader, and that's a pretty common thread across their Cody and Anakin POVs (for different reasons).

Flotsam and Jetsam is an interesting one on account of how it's Obi-Wan POV with a massive language barrier (human and merman, English and Mando'a). Cody isn't even conscious for the first part. It's also a fic that benefits a lot from having a canon to base off of without actually taking place in that canon. The reader can guess a whole lot about Cody's situation that Obi-Wan cannot, because we know the structures that are informing the original context, and can guess in a few ways at how they take shape in the new, so even when Cody is largely unable to communicate, the reader gets things out of it.

Anyway, glimmerglanger's Cody is one of my favorites because they manage to juggle all the things I consider core to Cody's character without necessarily having to come out and state them, so even when Cody is dry and private and 'standard,' he still feels like his own fully realized person that's consistent with both canon and with what I'd expect someone in his situation to be and do.

Okay, rant over, I have many feelings and I want to pump up this author as much as possible, go read their stuff, it's good.

[thatonecrookedsmile]

The Ink Demonth 2024:

-Tea-

-----

I got distracted by watching a stream in the middle of painting this, so this thing is coming out a... little later than I wanted. Also no quote at the beginning because I'm out of ideas.

'Tea' is a pretty simple prompt so there wasn't much I could do other than something just… simple. I didn't really have a clue who to use for this prompt though, but I ended up going with Emma Lamont from Boris and the Dark Survival. Long time since I last drew her.

Looking at other people's entries, I realized that using Betty would have made more sense and I'm surprised I didn't consider her sooner, but at the end of the day I'm okay with the choice I went with because in the end I'm giving the spotlight to a character I haven't seen people talk about in a long time.

Remember Emma? I wouldn't be surprised if one didn't. Heck, I can't even lie, she's not a character I think about often. I went to look at her tag, and that tag in the last 3 years only had 3 "recent" posts between 2021 and 2023 (except, of course, mine). Plus,her small appearance in BATDS doesn't help much. The last time I touched on her design was 2 years ago, on a sketch of her that I never finished (funnily enough, a sketch I was using for the purpose of redesigning her). I took what I had done (head/face/hair), dusted it off, and just expanded the idea a bit. It's not much, and probably not very accurate for a "1940s English Dance Teacher", but I doubt I'll go back to this design any time soon,and I don't know what else I could add in her design. (maybe earrings, I don't know)

With all that in mind, I don't have a problem with Emma. Kind of indifferent to her at the end of the day, but she has her place in the franchise, one that at the end of the day,it doesn't hurt to pay attention to again. And I find her story kind of funny. Another one being a victim of not being given a proper workspace/office of her own, and forced to create new dance steps in a bathroom. I like to think that she and Jack "I Write Better Lyrics In The Sewers" Fain had some kind of friendship. I've had an animatic idea since 2020 that adapts Jack's audio from BATDS and she was included. I never made it,though.

I kind of doubt we'll hear more of her in the Lone Wolf update. Her existence in the game seems like it was just a way to justify why we're suddenly collecting dance steps inside toilets, and I kind of doubt they'll expand on her beyond that. A shame. But then again, LW hasn't released it yet, and it's promised to add lots of new stuff, so who knows what could happen,I guess.

Somewhat related to the topic(s), what's your opinion on tea? As far as I remember, I've never tried it. And to be honest, I don't think I've ever been curious to try it. Is it good? Is it worth trying? This prompt got me thinking about it. I doubt I'll try it eventually, but I guess it doesn't hurt to ask, right?

[hot-take-tournament]

ngl kind of breaks my heart to see you used one of those ai bot things after the entire vocaloid debate. i really don't like that you did that and i'm a little disappointed. can you please not do that again?

I know - I do need to address this before anything else, because I fucked up

Please read the whole thing

If any of you don't know the context of this ask;

Basically, a while back I used the program AI Dungeon to generate a hot take for fun;

That's the program they use for those chaotic AI videos you find on youtube, like the ai ace attorney clown case and the sonic destruction scripts, which has some absolutely wild moments like these

I just put in a couple one-sentence questions to see what it would give me, not really expecting anything. But the take it did finally give me was not only completely depraved, but also felt like such a weirdly personal attack on me specifically that it left me genuinely speechless.

So, even though I didn't originally intend to do this, I decided to secretly make a poll for it claiming it was a submission, because I thought it might be fun to see if you guys could guess which one of the polls was the fake one, Blade Runner style.

I generated the take on the same day that submissions originally closed, but I only came clean about it last night because I started to feel super guilty about it after reading the vocaloid discourse - but the way I did it was vague, shitty and insincere.

I know it was 4 in the morning and I said I was going to get some sleep when I made the post last night, but after I saw the asks I immediately got about that post - like this one - I instead deleted it after like 2 minutes and spent the next 4-5 hours scouring the internet for as much information about this as I could find so I could get the full picture. This isn't the first time I fucked up on this blog because I didn't do my research, so I think I massively overcompensated - I really didn't want a repeat of that time the master post accidentally triggered multiple people's OCD; I still feel awful about that.

And as a result, I ended up passing out on my bathroom floor, which is why you haven't heard from me in a while.

I did genuinely read all the vocaloid discourse (asks, replies, notes, all of it) - but since I pulled this stunt ages ago, and the secret poll is already up, it was already too late. And it was because of that vocaloid discourse that I felt like it would just make me a hypocrite if I just swept it under the rug and kept quiet while everyone else was talking about the exact same subject, so I decided to just tell you guys as soon as possible because I'd feel shitty if I didn't - but I still phrased that post in a more light-hearted way because that was what I originally intended this whole thing to be, which was definitely a mistake, and I can't apologise enough for that.

And I know I didn't clarify this in that original post, but like I said, the program I used was AI Dungeon, which was something I remembered having fun with back in 2019/2020, spending hours generating unhinged Ace Attorney cases; and I remembered I still had an account from back then when it was still free to play, even though I hadn't touched it in 4 years - and I realised I would still be able to bypass the paywall using it.

I'd also just watched those snapcube Sonic Destruction videos that I linked above and it reminded me of that. And I dug up those old AI Dungeon Ace Attorney cases that I had generated and then recreated in objection i.o. back when I was 17/18, and had been sitting on my old computer's hard drive for ever since - and they still made me smile a little. So that's how I got the impulse to do this.

And that's also why, even though I knew about the writer's strike and do fully support it, it just didn't occur to me that the AI that gave us that same insane Sonic Destruction script that I'd just watched would be one of the programs the writers were striking over - I just assumed that it was only programs like ChatGPT, that can produce coherent scripts based on the accumulated information users feed into it; because those are programs that could definitely potentially be used to replace human writers. That's something AI Dungeon can't do, because it doesn't retain user input after you shut it down.

So I just saw AI Dungeon as that goofy ass confused AI that I loved as a kid, the one that provides insanely weird responses out of the blue as it desperately tries to cobble together a narrative, and it was used in videos that I still really like. And I thought it would be fine.

That was how I justified it at the time - but in hindsight, given how much I hate other GPT programs like ChatGPT, as well as AI art and all other generated content overall, it just makes me even more of a stupid hypocrite for making an exception for this one simply because I was blinded by nostalgia, and not bothering to look it up back then like I should've done. Because at the end of the day, a GPT program is a GPT program.

SO - Here's what I found online while reading up on it last night:

Because of the outdated GPT model AI Dungeon runs on, it isn't possible from a technical standpoint for it to learn like ChatGPT does. Even though it still uses a dataset, as far as I can tell it genuinely can't add to that dataset from user input except for when it explicitly asks for feedback (rarely, it will generate two responses instead of one, and ask you to pick the best one so it can learn - but you can turn that feature off.) And while it does try to learn while you're using it, it can't carry that information over between sessions. So even if you reload the same page again, it won't retain what it learned last time.

(Here's some information I found while combing ancient reddit threads that explains this better than I can)

But even if all of that is true, it doesn't matter.

Latitude, the developers of AI Dungeon, are super fucking scummy, and you shouldn't support them.

If you want to look up all of the many, many controversies surrounding AI Dungeon, you can - but I won't link them here, because serious content warnings apply.

Do not use this program.

I really hope the anon who sent this ask - and everyone else who called me out on this - stuck around, because I am so, so grateful that you all sent these, otherwise I probably would never have known.

I deleted the post almost instantly (because like I said, it was too light-hearted), and I'm really glad I did. And I swear I won't pull this shit again.

I know a lot of you hate the fact that I did this - that original post genuinely got me blocked by more of you guys than every single one of the polls combined - which is totally fair, and I wouldn't blame any of you for doing the same now.

I really just want to move on from this - but I can't just pretend that it didn't happen.

Support the writer's strike, don't use any AI programs.

I'm really sorry about this, and the fact that I didn't take it seriously enough - like I said, I promise it won't happen again.

</3

[she-karev]

Meeting Luna (Jolex Sweet Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Alex Karev x Jo Wilson/Jo Karev

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 3

Summary: Alex and Jo help a patient deliver a baby that formed in her liver. Later Amber Karev gets news that devastates her and her loved ones.

Words: 3554

April 12th, 2020

Jo comes out of the hospital exhausted and rubbing her strained neck. It’s been four days since Meredith Grey was found passed out in the parking lot by Alex. He brought her inside the hospital where she was tested positive for covid. Since then, he has been checking in on her as her medical proxy, making sure she’s stable while Jo has been covering Meredith’s service. So far Jo hasn’t been outside in four days and the stress of the new job is getting to her.

“Hey.” Jo looks up to find her sister-in-law, Amber Karev, and best friend, Link, approach her in their casual clothes, “I’d ask how you’re doing but I think your appearance is answer enough.”

“Despite what you may read or hear in the news, sunlight does not in fact kill Covid 19.” Link says when he sees Jo has her mask off to take a breath.

“Ha. I've been covering Meredith's service. I haven't been outside in four days.” Amber hisses at that feeling bad for her, “What are you doing here?”

“Hand trauma.” Link explains.

“You left Amelia alone with four kids for a hand?”

Amber oohs at that, “You are so gonna be in the doghouse tonight.”

“She told me to come in.” Link explains.

“Oh. You're already annoying her.” Jo teases causing Amber to grin, “What's on your shirt?”

Link sees a sticky spot on his shirt, “Ooh, that's, uh, syrup? I made pancakes this morning.”

“Weird. You're a dad.” Jo jokes.

“Missed you!” Link sings before going inside leaving the sisters-in-law to catch up.

“How’s it going on your front?” Jo asks Amber, “I’m sure it’s not as painful as mine.”

“Normally I would disagree, but I know me complaining about my life right now is just gonna piss you off.” Amber says before changing the subject, “Any luck getting DCFS to do a home inspection?”

Jo frowns at that reminder. She and Alex bought a suitable two story 4-bedroom house back in February so they can raise a family there. They started the adoption paperwork, and the agency was gonna send a social worker to do a home inspection and interview them face to face.

But then March 13th happened, and social services has limited home visits in favor of public safety. The news broke Jo’s heart who was getting happier every time she and Alex were one step closer to having a baby of their own. So far, she has been trying to get past the pain with virtual therapy and work.

Jo sighs, “No they said other matters take precedence which as a woman who wants to adopt an abandoned baby pisses me off but as a doctor working in this terrible time I get it. I just wish I finally decided to have kids one month or hell even one day earlier. Maybe it might have made a difference.”

“I’m really sorry.” Amber says sad as well, “I know it doesn’t compare but my life hasn’t gone the way I envisioned it would five months ago either.”

Jo nods understanding, “Yeah if you had told me a year ago a pandemic would hit and instead of shopping for a car seat and looking toward the future, I would pray for toilet paper and hand sanitizer I would think you were crazy.”

“I would think I was crazy too.” Amber says bitterly, “I really am sorry I know how much you and Alex want a baby.”

“Thanks. We’re fine, we have each other, and we’ll just wait until social services finally does a visit and approves us. And to practice we have Schmitt living with us.”

Amber laughs, “I still can’t believe your letting him live with you. And I can’t believe Alex agreed to it, were you guys running low on rent or reasons for pity?”

“Okay he was sad and lonely, and he didn’t have a place to live I felt bad. It’s how Jackson felt with you after DeLuca broke up with you so…”

“…Touche my friend, touche. I gotta go, we’ll complain together later.”

“I’m holding you on that.” Amber walks past Jo and enters the pit when Levi Schmitt comes out and approaches Jo from behind.

“Abdominal pain consult in the ER.” Jo groans at that before snapping her fingers at Levi.

“I have faith in you.

“Covid test is still pending.” Levi informs Jo who slumps in defeat.

“I feel like I could just lay down and die.”

“Ah.” Levi imitates spitting to Jo’s confusion, “You really shouldn't say that during a pandemic.”

Levi goes back inside with Jo sulking for a minute before she puts her mask on and goes to her patient inside. Jo puts her protective shield on before going inside the trauma room where a blonde woman wearing a mask, face shield and gloves is sitting on the table clutching her stomach in pain.

“Val Ashton?” Jo starts, “Hi. I'm Dr. Karev. Okay, so you've had abdominal pain and vomiting for the last two weeks?”

“But it's not Covid.” Val insists, “I have gone nowhere, seen no one, touched nothing. I couldn't stop talking to the nurse that took my blood. It was the first in-person conversation I had had in months. I told her about the fight with my co-worker, all about my ex. And I think I invited her to lunch.”

Jo chuckles, “Don't worry. They're used to it.” Jo goes over Val’s chart in her tablet, “Okay, so your labs came back already, and…congratulations. You don't have Covid. You're just pregnant.”

Val looks at Jo in shock and utters a single word, “What?”

“Pregnant.” Jo repeats.

“What?”

“Yaay?” Jo says in the form of a question leaving Val to look at her in utter shock at this news.

An Hour Later

After the ultrasound from Carina confirmed there was no fetus in the uterus Jo ordered an abdominal scan for Val to find the underlying issue for her stomach pains. She asked Amber to assist her because she knows with Webber restricting residents from treating covid patients her resident sister-in-law is bored from doing scut and mandating patient entry.

“Thanks for letting me in on this I really needed it especially since Webber decided to punish Koracick by making him residency program director which also punishes us.”

“Yeah of course I figured it was either let you work close with me or risk getting Koracick punched in the face and you losing your job.”

“You make it sound like those are bad things.”

Bailey comes inside the monitor room, “Karev, I need you to keep covering Grey's service. I'm hoping to persuade Dr. Webber to come back to the OR, whenever he finishes adjusting his crown. Chief of chiefs. I could be chief of chiefs.”

“You'd be really good at that.” Amber says.

“What do you got?” Bailey asks

“Abdominal pain, vomiting, positive beta HCG. She's not pregnant, but I want to rule out a mass.” The scans pull up.

“Okay I see a mass it’s in the liver.”

Bailey looks at the scans astonishes, “That is no mass. That is a fetus.”

“She is pregnant, but her baby is attached to her liver?” Jo gasps at this in wonder while Amber chuckles in delight until Bailey steps in.

“Mine.”

“Hell no.” Amber retorts facing her boss, “This patient doesn’t have covid and I need something to lift up my spirits.” Bailey stares down at the resident who stares back with equal intimidation, “I’ve faced scarier things chief the only way you’re getting me out is tossing me across the floor.”

“Do you want to see that happen?” Bailey asks threateningly which doesn’t faze Amber as they continue to stare down with Jo looking on in worry.

“Okay as primary I will call the shots. Amber, I love you, but Bailey is my boss so get out.” Amber scoffs and turns to Jo who speaks before she can, “Go.”

“Fine.” Amber growls and stands up stomping out of the room with Bailey taking her place in joy as they look at the scans of the baby inside Val’s liver.

Later

Jo sees Alex in the middle of the empty peds floor and approaches him with a tablet in her hand.

“Hey are you busy?”

“Well, my best friend is being monitored by her sister and my sister’s ex-boyfriend so that leaves me time to sort out my empty floor where every surgery has been rescheduled for the next three months. I’m free for whatever you have as long as it’s not mundane.”

Jo chuckles, “Oh then you are gonna love this.” She hands him the tablet and shows Alex Val’s scans, “Val Ashton 35, came in with abdominal pain and vomiting, labs showed that she was pregnant but there was nothing in the ultrasound so we ran scans to see what the issue was.”

Alex looks at the scans, “Tumor in her liver that released HCG? I’m lost on why you came to me with this.”

“Because that mass in her liver is a fetus.” Jo explains and grins at Alex looking at her with wide eyes, “Yep you heard me my patient has an abdominal pregnancy.”

“I can see why you came to me.” Alex says with a grin relieved to have a case, “Is the fetus viable?”

“Carina DeLuca is about to do an ultrasound and we’ll get answers. If the baby is viable, we need to get them out so the growing placenta doesn’t rupture Val’s liver. We want you there so you can explain the risks the baby will face if she decides to keep it.”

“Okay yeah I can do that lead the way.” Jo leads Alex away from the peds floor to Val’s room.

Later

“There's a baby in my liver?” Val asks Jo with Alex next to her while Carina does an ultrasound on Val’s side where her liver is hearing a heartbeat.

“You have what's called an abdominal pregnancy, where the fetus develops outside of the uterus. You're about 26 weeks.”

“And so far, the heartbeat is strong which indicates viability.”

“That’s right and it’s very good in cases like this.” Carina says as she wipes away the gel, “Val, these pregnancies don't normally survive to term, but your baby is very much alive. Your case is extremely rare.”

“He made me feel like crap for eight years.” Val explains, “Every time IVF didn't work…he would look at the doctor and say, ‘Well, what can she do differently next time?’ When clearly it was his fault. Because I had a one-night stand with a guy that wears square computer glasses, and I'm knocked up.”

Alex nods understanding her pain from having his dream of having a baby with Jo stalled by covid.

“Val.” Carina sits by Val’s side and asks her cautiously, “Do you want this baby?”

Val inhales with tears in her eyes before nodding.

“Okay. Then we need to deliver her today.” Jo explains, “The growth of the placenta could cause the liver to bleed at any moment, and we need to operate to save you both, now.”

“It's a girl?” Val asks with a smile behind her mask.

Alex grins and nods, “Yes, it is.”

“Luna.” Val says rubbing her own belly, “That's her name. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew my daughter's name. I want to call her Little Moon, like the book, my mom would read it to me all the time.”

“Val.” Carina says and Val looks up nodding.

“Yeah, okay. Let's get her out!” Val gives consent in joy and the doctors look at each other knowing it’s not gonna be an easy surgery.

Two Hours Later

Jo and Bailey expose the liver revealing the baby inside as the scans show waiting for Alex and Carina to gown up so they can take the baby.

“Is she viable?” Alex asks as he spins while the nurse gowns him.

“Come see for yourself. Liver's exposed.” Bailey says causing Alex and Carina to observe the liver where they see the amniotic sac attached to the liver to their wonder.

“Wow.” Carina says in shock.

“Hello there, Little Moon.” Alex greets the baby before Bailey and Jo go over the steps of the procedure. Alex and Carina start the c-section and take out the small baby immediately, putting her inside the incubator while Bailey and Jo try to save the liver.

“Alex, I'm not seeing any movement.”

“Damn it.” Alex curses, “We need to intubate.” Alex and Carina try to intubate Luna while Jo and Bailey try to stop the heavy bleeding.

“How's Luna?” Jo asks.

Carina responds while helping Alex, “Apgar 2, maybe 3.” “We’re still trying to get the tube in.” Alex tries to intubate Luna, “Come on Luna you got this come on.” He successfully intubates her, “I’m in, bag her and get her up to the unit now let’s go!” Alex and Carina hurriedly take the incubator out of the OR while Jo and Bailey work hard to save Val’s life.

That Night

Jo is in the NICU looking down at her and Alex’s patient, Luna, who is hooked up to leads and wires in an incubator. The sight of the tiny premie breaks Jo’s heart but knowing the baby’s story gives her hope in a hopeless time.

“Hi, Luna.” Jo coos at the baby as she holds her tiny hand, “Hi. Your mommy is asleep right now, but she is gonna be so excited to meet you.”

Bailey approaches them with a grin, “See? Joy.”

Jo chuckles lightly, “She developed in a liver and was born in a pandemic. She is a survivor.”

“Your work these last few days hasn't gone unnoticed.” Bailey compliments, “Thank you.”

Jo nods and grows solemn at the reminder knowing why she’s so busy, “Meredith has to be okay, Bailey. She has to be okay.” The woman stand there looking at the baby hoping their good friend will make it through this virus.

Later

“We’re gonna need to keep you for observation for the next month.” Alex informs Val who is bleary from her surgery, “Dr. Karev and Dr. Bailey did their best to resect your liver without doing too much damage but we need to be safe and keep a close eye on you. Now we’ll do daily scans on your abdomen to make sure your liver isn’t failing. Worst case scenario we put you on the transplant list and wait for a match to fall through. And until then we would put you on dialysis to buy you some more time.”

“And what about Luna?” Val asks worried, “Is she gonna be okay?”

“She needs to be constantly monitored in the NICU while her lungs continue to form. Now she’s 26 weeks so we would have her incubated for the next 19 weeks till she reaches full term.”

“Can I hold her? Or visit her?”

Alex sighs, “I want to say yes but her immune system is still compromised and you’re still fresh out of surgery moving one of you could raise complications. We would need to wait until you’re discharged so you can visit her. Now I can set up a camera so you can watch her and talk to her while you’re both recovering. I’m sorry but it’s the best I can do right now.”

Val sighs in sadness, “…This is not how I imagined having a baby after all this time but I wouldn’t change it if it meant finally having Luna.”

Alex nods understanding, “If it makes you feel better my plans for having a baby have been recently stalled too.”

“Fertility issues?”

“Not exactly.” Alex sits in a chair next to Val, “My wife, Dr. Karev, told me she was finally ready to start a family and I was excited to be a dad. We were gonna adopt instead of getting pregnant because we were both kids in the system and we know it can be a brutal upbringing. We bought a house, we bought furniture to make it look picture perfect for social services, we were finally ready to start a family…but then March happened, and all our efforts went out the window. We’re now waiting as patiently as we can to get a social worker to visit and approve us and every minute that passes feels-”

“Like an eternity?” Val finishes understanding, “It’s how I felt before, during and after IVF. It felt like I was never gonna have a baby, like it was my fault somehow and to find out it wasn’t my fault at all makes me angry…but you telling me my baby is finally out. It makes all that anger disappear and I feel joy. God, I feel so much joy.”

Alex grins at that, “I could use some of that joy right now, can you share?”

“No.” Val’s blunt answer makes Alex chuckle. She frowns as a horrible scenario comes into her head that makes her look at Alex square in the face, “I need you to promise me something. Promise me that if I die, you’ll make sure Luna walks out of this hospital if I can’t.”

“Val…I can’t make promises.” Alex sadly tells her.

“I know but I need you to promise you will do everything you can to make sure Luna is okay. You will try any procedure, you will get her into a trial, you will do anything to make sure one of us makes it out of this alive. I need you to promise that you will take care of my Little Moon if I can’t, from one desperate parent to another please promise me.”

Alex looks at Val in awe before holding her hand and looking into her eyes with conviction, “I promise.” Val sniffles and looks at Alex gratefully as he holds her hand with the both of them feeling hopeful.

Epilogue

Amber is alone in the resident’s lounge putting her casual clothes on feeling drained once again after another long day. What was supposed to be her first surgery in weeks turned She has been in charge of the line outside which got her into little arguments with people who refuse to fully wear their masks and keep a six feet distance.

It got to the point where one of them spit on her and she spent ten minutes furiously scrubbing her face with rubbing alcohol afraid of the germs and angry at the ass who demeaned her. Now all Amber wants to do is go to Jackson’s penthouse, drink his expensive alcohol and watch bad reality tv. A knock on the door calls her and she turns to find her roommate Jackson Avery standing outside the door in his casual wear and black mask looking at her in worry.

“I heard what happened. Did the guy really spit in your face when you told him to stop acting like an idiot and put his mask on and keep a safe distance?”

Amber groans putting her black mask on, “Yep, I did the silkwood shower on my face right after I think I peeled off a layer of my own skin. I don’t want to talk about it I just want to go home, watch The Bachelorette and wonder where my life is going after today.”

“I’ll join you; I got a feeling Hannah is gonna eliminate Peter.”

Amber scoffs at that, “Please you wish, Peter is going all the way, Mike is next mark my words.”

Jackson’s eyes widen offended, “Oh we’ll see about that Mike is her dream man, loser does the laundry?”

Amber chuckles at her friend, “You’re on, make sure to fold my delicates I like them neat and organized.”

“Same. Let’s go.” Amber slings her backpack on and is about to walk towards him when Owen Hunt comes in with a numb face wearing his scrubs and mask.

“Good I caught you both before you left.”

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asks concerned.

Owen looks solemn but faces Amber with regret getting straight to the point, “Amber your test came back just now, your positive for covid 19, I’m sorry.”

Jackson and Amber are stunned by this with him standing by the doorway looking at Amber worried she’ll faint like Meredith. Amber is standing by her cubby with her backpack on looking frozen with shock before she chuckles uneasily.

“Is this a joke? I’m not symptomatic, I feel fine. Did Koracick or Alex put you up to this because it is the worst punking in the history of ever.”

“No this isn’t a joke.” Owen says with a serious tone, “The test is right here you can look at it if you want.”

Owen puts the tablet on the table six feet away from Amber who takes it and looks at her results with a small gasp. She looks up at Jackson who looks down in worry but pulls out his phone.

“I’ll book you a hotel room to quarantine and tell your family.” He puts the phone to his ear, “And April we should get tests too.”  

Amber swallows the lump in her throat before sitting on the bench while Jackson makes calls. At this moment she feels a fear in her chest she’s never experienced before as a doctor and as of now a patient.

[shingetsu-online]

☆*WELCOME TO MY SPECIAL HELL*☆

☆ Hello, I'm Hugh. I'm a person who draws and plays videogames for fun, with a keen interest in analysis and psychology, and I enjoy the process of modding video game consoles. Welcome to my blog, shingetsu-online! ~.^*☆ ☆ text dividers by @cafekitsune ☆

☆*^.~ABOUT THE DUDE IN CHARGE~.^*☆

☆ My name is Hugh, though I also go by Mr. Crescendo, Shingetsu, & Hyuu. My pronouns are He/Him, and I am a transmasc agender demiboy who is gay, cinthean, demiromantic, & a sex-repulsed asexual. I'm 13 years old, so do please try to keep my boundaries in mind! I'm part of a system, and my headmates may pop up on here and make posts of their own. If you want to refer to us collectively, call us the Blue Raspberry Collective or the Moonjelly Hivemind. I am WaningCrescendo on A03, though I haven't posted anything on there yet! Please do not repost my art without permission or credit.

☆*^.~INTERESTS / FANDOMS~.^*☆

☆ My major hyperfixations are in blue & bold text, so I'll post about them more often than others.

☆ GHOST TRICK: PHANTOM DETECTIVE (I've beaten the entire game on my 3ds via emulation and it both fixed me and made me worse. Live laugh Inspector Cabanela. It is my absolute favorite game PLEASE play Ghost Trick PLEASE)

☆ HOMESTAR RUNNER (I got into it in 2020 and recently got back into it when playing Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People on my Wii.)

☆ POKEMON (Generations 5, 7, 8, & 9 mostly. I also enjoy the gen 8/9 DLC campaigns. Mostly the games, though I have read a bit of PokeSpe. I do not post about the animes.)

☆ A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (Both the books & the live-action series adaptation.)

☆ MIITOPIA (Both for Nintendo Switch & 3DS, I've played through the Switch port several times & I recently started the 3DS version!)

☆ ACE ATTORNEY (I've seen playthroughs for the entire main trilogy & the Investigations games, I am currently playing through Apollo Justice, & I have finished The Great Ace Attorney's 3DS English fan-slation, and I am trying to get the Chronicles so I can play Resolve! Don't worry about spoiler for the mainline 6 games & the Investigations games, but I am trying to play TGAA as spoiler-free as possible.)

☆ RHYTHM THIEF (I have played through the entirety of the main story! Also Charlie Vergier is transmasc & anyone who she/her's him is dead to me. /lh)

☆ RHYTHM HEAVEN & WARIOWARE (I classify these 2 together since they are heavily linked together! For Rhythm Heaven, my favorite games are Rhythm Heaven DS & Megamix, and for WarioWare, I like Smooth Moves, Move It!, Touched!, & Gold!)

☆ YOUR TURN TO DIE (I have played up to Chapter 3-1B!)

☆ THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU (I have NEO for my Switch, I have seen the anime, and I have the original DS game via emulation!)

☆ NINTENDO CONSOLE MODDING & HOMEBREW (I have watched so many videos on 3ds modding & Homebrew applications. I have modded my New 3DS XL and I am open to any questions concerning the process! I am trying to make a custom theme for it!)

☆ COOKIE RUN (Both Kingdom & OvenBreak!)

☆ TOMODACHI LIFE (I have the game for my 3DS! I am a firm Tomodachi Life Switch Port believer!!)

☆ NEEDY GIRL OVERDOSE/NEEDY STREAMER OVERLOAD (I have seen playthroughs!)

☆ GUILTY GEAR (I don't post much about it anymore, sadly. I just really like Bedman.)

☆ SPLATOON (I have 2, Octo Expansion, & 3. I am working on getting the DLCs soon!)

☆ ONE PIECE (I just watch the anime, & I've been stuck on the Water 7 arc for months now. I know most of the spoilers, so I don't mind.)

☆ PROJECT SEKAI (I haven't played since November or so, I just post about Wonderlands X Showtime & RuiKasa a lot. It's just mostly Tsukasa Tenma.)

☆ ALIEN STAGE (Nothing much to say, I've seen up to Round 6 & I just really like Luka's Sweet Dream cover & Hyuna in general. Oh yeah & IvanTill.)

☆ HAIKYUU!! (My friend dragged me into the Haikyuu!! hellhole. I'm very early in the show, & I mainly just dub over it with my friends for fun.)

☆ SUPER MARIO BROS. SERIES (I pretty much grew up on NSMBWii. I also like Paper Mario Color Splash, Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story, & Super Mario 3D World, though I've only seen playthoughs for Color Splash & 3D World. I'm playing Bowser's Inside Story!)

☆ THERE IS NO GAME (I have played Wrong Dimension & the original Construct Jam entry!)

☆*^.~SIDEBLOGS~.^*☆

☆ @hughstace - Ace Attorney blog. (I post a lot about Simon Blackquill, The Apollo Justice Trilogy, as well as BlackBright.)

☆ @koopsttyd - Paper Mario: TTYD blog. (May potentially be used for other Paper Mario games as well!)

☆ @6switcher - Rhythm Heaven series blog. (Lots of lockstep and Rhythm Heaven DS/Fever posts on there!)

☆ @raymondyaoi - Animal Crossing blog. (Usually ACNH/ACNL.)

☆ @jotchuakiryu - The World Ends With You blog. (Lots of JoshNeku.)

☆ @gayboy-from-diamond-city - WarioWare series blog. (Sadly not very active.)

☆ Other blogs not listed here are VERY inactive or they're personal.

☆*^.~THINGS TO KNOW~.^*☆

☆ Hey!! Here are some things to be aware of when interacting with me, so keep these in mind if you can!!

☆ I have a poor memory, but I'll try my best to remember things like when to use tone indicators or people's preferred pronouns.

☆ Please do not send me any interactions regarding/revolving around Friday Night Funkin'. It is incredibly triggering for me, and I would prefer it if you do NOT talk to me about it.

☆ Please don't send weird asks. Seriously, please be normal about this. I'm a freaking minor.

☆ Please don't advertise stuff in my inbox either. It's become a huge problem and it bothers me a lot.

☆ I block people freely, meaning that if they post a lot of something I'm uncomfortable with, I'll block them.

☆ Although I'm a sex-repulsed ace, I make sexual jokes from time to time, but it's usually just something like "that's what she said", penis jokes, or something similar.

☆ I have poor anger management, and I snap easily, so be wary.

☆ I try to avoid mention of politics as much as I can.

☆ I'm protective of headcanons so much to the point where it gets annoying FAST. That being said, most headcanons of mine align with my own identity, such as Crispin from Pokemon being gay and transmasc. However, I'm NOT going to attack people because my headcanons don't align with theirs and vice versa.

☆ That being said, I post a lot of shippy stuff, mostly revolving around said headcanons.

☆ I ship OC x Canon. Don't like it? Feel free to block me and move on.

☆ I'm in a system, and occasionally, one of my headmates will post on here instead of their own blog / our system blog, so if something seems different with me, just know that it's one of my headmates posting or goofing off.

☆*^.~DNI LIST~.^*☆

☆ If you apply to any of the below, please don't interact with me or any of my posts.

☆ Basic DNI criteria.

☆ Queerphobic people, including aphobes, TERFs, or SWERFs, as well as truscum or transmed people.

☆ NSFW/Minors DNI/NSFT blogs.

☆ People who think cringe culture is normal.

☆ Proshippers/Comshippers/"Anti-Antis".

☆ Zionists/People who support Israel.

☆ Conservatives & supporters of Elon Musk.

☆ Anyone who I block. Don't try & find a way around it.

☆*^.~TAG LIST~.^*☆

☆ Information on the tags I use on my posts.

☆ #shingetsu online - My general posting tag, all of the posts I make myself are tagged with this, but reblogs don't.

☆ #ask hugh - Like the one above, but this one's for asks.

☆ #hugh art tag - Tag I use for my artwork.

☆ #hugh oc tag - Posts that involve my OCs / Original Characters.

☆ #hugh's horrible hall of fame - Posts that involve me that I deem important. Usually it's just shenanigans.

☆ #i think my money is gay - Posts with Jay Eazy. It's usually just Megaman memes.

☆ #theatre of pain - Video posts, usually tagged this way for saving/archival purposes.

☆ #fav - My favorites tag. It's either important stuff or just funny stuff.

☆ #funnies - Memes / funny videos that I like.

☆ #save - Usually important stuff / references.

☆ #musik - Posts with music / that are music centered.

☆ #chefboy - Posts that include Crispin from Pokemon.

☆ #toothpaste boy - Posts that include Drayton from Pokemon.

☆*^.~USERBOX TIME!!!!~.^*☆

[drgrlfriend]

Fic Writer's Showcase Game

I was tagged by @there-must-be-a-lock - thanks!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. <3

First Fic: Full Circle

So, this is how I got into writing fanfic. Someone on a non-fandom message board I was on was a big fan of fanfiction, and I thought, "Wow, I haven't thought about fanfiction since my X-Files days! I wonder what it's like now?" I went to FFN (this was pre-AO3) and the top fandom was Pirates of the Caribbean, which I didn't know much about, and I think the second top was High School Musical, and the third was X-Men. So I read some X-Men stories, especially Wolverine/Rogue, and one of them was a very compelling story about pregnancy loss which ended with a very ambivalent ending -- basically, a phone ringing and you don't know if the character will pick up. My friends, I COULD NOT SLEEP. I had experienced a pregnancy loss in the prior year, and I *had* to write a happy ending to this story. In retrospect, it was the RUDEST thing but I was new to fandom and I didn't know anything. I wrote it in an email and then eventually sent it to the author like a cat dropping a dead mouse in her lap, and she was very kind and encouraged me to post it. And that was ::checks notes:: at least a decade ago. Yikes.

Last Fic:

Chrome-Plated Heart Technically a WIP but it's all completed and is just posting twice a week until it's done. A Winterhawk Marvel Pacific Rim AU.

One-Hit Fandom:

Hope

I am kind of a serial fandom monogamist and once I'm in a fandom I tend to linger for a few years, so I only have one one-off in the Cabin Pressure fandom and it's more of a ficlet. A little Douglas Richardson & Martin Crieff cutscene from St. Petersburg. I don't even know their portmanteau!

Favorite Fic in the Fandom with the Most Works:

Lucky in Love

Wow, I had to check but I'm actually now tied for fandoms -- Marvel and Teen Wolf both have 18 fics each. So, I'll go with Marvel, and Lucky in Love, my first Winterhawk fic. I think it's rare to write a fic and then not want to change much about it a few years down the road, but I still reread this one from time to time and I still really like it! Fic I Wish More People Read:

Quriosity

Hmmm. It seems greedy to say so because it got a great reception, both within the 00Q fandom and just objectively in terms of number of hits, etc., but I feel like there's not as much crossover between the Bond fandoms and others I'm in, so if there's one fic of mine I would encourage people to take a chance and try if they know me from Marvel or Teen Wolf fandoms it's this one. There's a lot of fics in my repertoire that have themes of touch starvation / touch aversion but this one is the mostest.

Fic I Agonized Over the Most:

Freedom's Reach

I'm tempted to say the current fic I'm writing (my selkie!Bucky MTH2022 fic) but I think that's just a tendency to think whatever you're writing now is putting up the hardest fight. Freedom's Reach is my Winterhawk historical AU (e.g. American Civil War era) with mail order bride, and I don't know what I was thinking to write 1.) Inherently uneven power dynamic, which is something I typically dislike 2.) In an era I know nothing about 3.) Requiring frequent misunderstandings which I typically dislike. My poor beta @kangofu-cb is a saint for all the whining and self-doubt she had to put up with as I wondered whether I was walking all those lines.

Fic that Sprang Fully Formed: For Everything There is a Season

So, Google tells me that the Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle happened on November 7th, 2020, which means that within the week I had started posting this fic, and I'm pretty sure I wrote it in one evening. What can I say, I was inspired to think of ... Pierce ... and his ... Restore America's Glory supporters ... getting a pile of manure dumped on him. Go figure.

Proud of for Whatever Reason:

Pretty When You Cry

I am NOT good at writing short, capture-a-pivotal-moment-and-let-it-speak-for-itself fics. As the length of this post attests, I am a prototypical ADHD overexplainer. This fic managed to be short and sweet and intensely smutty but with all the feels somehow crammed in. And then, to overexplain, I had to do a second chapter from the other POV but I like how (to me at least) it doesn't feel repetitive or boring; it's the same events and dialogue but the internal narrative is so different it's still interesting. So, yeah, smutty little feels fic with Winterhawk failing a one-night-stand, check it out. I think between nox and lou most of the Winterhawk regulars already got tagged, so I'm tagging outside the fandom or people I haven't caught up with in awhile so, um ... @flamingo-queen-writes , @drunktuesdays , @pantstomatch, @shatteredhourglass, @1000-directions ... and anyone who wants to do this; I haven't been online for a bit so I'm sure I missed a bunch!

[arayamahidol]

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i hadn't rped since 2017 and during the pandemic around dec 2020/jan 2021 i was sooooo bored since all my work turned remote so i went through the "royal rp" tag and hshq was the only rp other than like one other in the tag at the time. i don't remember any specific plotlines, i just remember being thrown into the nye event on the yacht or something? and that's when hijacking was first introduced iirc. and now i'm trying to buy a house and that makes me want to vomit!

which characters have you written over the years ?

haera, san, io, araya, meixu, okeyo and inna

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i think meixu's life in general. i thought she would have found someone and gotten the family she wanted and the happy ending ( w a few struggles ofc ) but she ended up alone and more jaded about life! something more comedic would probably be when araya and ireti got tattoos during the monaco event and she thought her tattoo said ja rule instead of jaurel. and def lawnchair gate.

what about other people's plotlines ?

when matilde pushed arnauld into the pool. the english plotline was supes fun to watch unfold.

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

meixu because she's the most different from me personally. she deserved the most and the best, but always ate shit asjfhsadkf araya was the easiest to write. she had some good one liners. going to miss my flat assed baddie ♡

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

lawn chair or the lunch thread with the solets. evy, kit and i were in shambles about it. we still bring it up every now and then and idk why it's still just as funny to us as it was back then.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i don't think so

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

probably meixu, she feels the most incomplete. i wish i could have wrote more on how jianguo's death affected her and how that changed her relationships. the other one would be auraya since i honestly did not think they'd last, but here they are, still sharing a single brain cell ♡ if the africa plot actually took off, that would have been fun.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

when e and i were writing lawnchair gate, giggling nonstop beside each other. we tasked ourselves to a challenge where if i wrote a two word reply, she'd have to write a three word reply, and then my next reply would have to be four words ( you get the idea ). we would count how many words the other person wrote because we'd lose track and then mess up and have to count again. whenever there would be a red carpet event like the oscars or during fashion week, j and i would always play this game of who in hshq would wear it. it was fun. when kit and i spent an entire night trying to pronounce all the characters names and we'd attempt it at first and play the actual pronunciation after and die about how inaccurate we were. and ofc, throwing tomatoes at jo in the disc chat ♡

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

discord, but i'll probably not be that responsive sdfhsdf i'm not that great with keeping in touch with people 😭

what else would you like to say ?

i know i joined a bit later and haven't made as big of an impact as others, but i honestly thought i would last two weeks and end up becoming inactive because established groups are intimidating! i'm glad i gave it a chance, i met some really good friends on here that are beyond just "rp friends"! this feels like a high school graduation since this will be the last time we all see each other on the dash like this and it's very bittersweet! hshq was a great distraction for me during the pandemic and i feel honoured to have wrote alongside you all and i'm happy i was able to make so many gifs of so many different faceclaims. loved seeing you all use them.