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#i just hope it will get better eventually. in whatever way it has to happen
angeltrapz · 4 months
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is my dad capable of leaving me alone
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spade-club · 22 days
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:/ fighting with my partner atm. We rarely ever do and if we are fighting its over this very thing. I got real close to breaking up with them. Its so hard to weigh how I feel and what I should do here. I just want to take a nap. I'm so tired. But I'm at work and when I get home we have to finish talking. I just want to sleep before thinking about all this any more. That last half hour of my shift energy boost better fucking be enough. It never feels like it will be but I always get everything done somehow.
#-Cass#fighting about me asserting my boundaries again#eventually they became more coherent & kind but FUCK man.#every time I say -hey I didnt want to experience this- they go at me with the I'll die without you dont leave me#but I put my fucking foot down on all of that shit. just kept saying stop doing that until they communicated with me properly.#& it worked eventually#I feel okay about where we left off but I still dont know what to do from here#I cant keep giving them chances but I can tell they're getting better#which is really the problem at the center of it all#their best isnt good enough and I hate to ever tell someone that#but fuck man. its my autonomy we're fucking with here. I think I deserve a say!#I just know that breaking up with them is complicated. and I dont want to do it if I don't have a plan.#and I dont want to do that if they really will stop hurting me#but it just keeps happening.#and I keep trying to tell myself its not that bad. I keep almost telling them its not that bad. but I know how bad it is!!#its sobbing on the drive home & sad playlists & relapses & keeping bad company just to have something they cant touch#& crying next to them in bed after they fall asleep & not being able to move at all for 20 minutes this morning#because I was so fucking startled by the situation & didnt know what to do#honestly getting in the way of work with this was what pushed me over the edge tbh. my job is important to me.#not to mention they are unemployed again! so I'm The Income of the household#whatever. whatever. its all nonsense at this point. making myself a second coffee and doing dishes now bye#i will be removing this post later but it stays up for now in hopes someone has something comforting or helpful to add#+ so I can feel heard I guess? bleh
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kenntolog · 28 days
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Can I request something with popular bf Gojo and shy gf reader where reader is getting belittled and bullied by a group of girls and has been for a while, but doesn’t tell Gojo cause he doesn’t want her to worry, and sort of taking what they say to heart a little. Gojo notice this and eventually reader breaks down and tells him what’s going on
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as soon as it starts, gojo notices something shifting in you immediately.
it’s not a visible nor a clearly sensible shift in your behaviour or appearance, yet somehow gojo is able to tell something is wrong and he is kind of proud of himself for that. yet the feeling of pride dims compared to the worry growing inside of him.
because you never tell him when something bothers you and he’s sure whatever is happening, he’s just not there to see it. you’re too embarrassed to say it to him since you don’t want him to worry, which sucks completely. it gets so bad, that satoru has to physically stop you from running away whenever he starts asking about what’s the matter, but you get overwhelmed easily and he lets go.
yet, this time he catches you right when you want to slip away; red eyes and shaking shoulders as you try to contain your sobs and run away from him so he doesn’t see, but he is quick to catch up to you in the empty hallway, caging you between his arms.
“let go, ‘toru—”
he gently tugs your hands away from your face, frowning at the dried tracks of tears on your cheeks , “no, tell me what’s wrong.”
“please, can’t we talk later?”
“no! stop running away from me!”
the way his voice cracks makes you shudder as you look up at him warily, finally realising that he’s hurt too. you stop resisting and hide yourself in his chest, sobbing violently while satoru holds you close silently. he moves around so he can slide down the wall and have you sit in his lap, arms only tightening around you.
“they…” you gaze at him through your wet eyelashes, voice a little shaky as your eyes bore into the worry splashing deeply in his, “they say mean things to me.”
“what kind of mean things?”
“all kinds of,” you mumble, eventually relaxing into his hold and letting him stroke your hair. “about my looks, my face, my stuff — just everything, y’know?”
he hums, hoping you’d continue.
“i know i should just ignore that, but then they start saying stuff about you and our relationship, and i can’t help but let it get to me? i know you love me, yet i… maybe they are right? maybe i am not good enough and you deserve more. prettier. funnier. smarter.”
you voice gets more and more quiet as you ramble about what’s been happening. and as you fiddle with your fingers, head hung low with staggered breathing, you’re unable to see how every single word you say nearly breaks satoru’s heart into a million of pieces.
“oh sweetheart.”
you look up at him, wiping the last of your tears. it seems like you’ve already come to terms with whatever the hell they were spewing at you and it makes satoru very angry. it has been going on for far too long, so long that it changed your brain chemistry and how you feel about yourself, and he hates it so so much.
“you are more than enough for me.”
you stare at him all wide eyed for a second before your face scrunches and you start crying once again, hot tears staining his hand as he wipes every single one of them. gojo cups your face gently and brings it closer to his so he can speak directly into your ear.
and he doesn’t spare any of his thoughts for you, letting you know that you’re everything he wants and he wouldn’t ask for anyone else; that you’re his favourite person in the whole world and he loves you very very much; that it hurts him that you’re hurting and are scared to tell because he’d do anything it takes to make you feel better. placing gentle kisses on your cheek since it’s so closer and he absolutely can’t resist you.
satoru doesn’t expect you to change your mind about everything in one day, but he’s ready to tell you those same words and more every single day if that’s what you need.
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springtyme · 4 months
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51 ✨ for carmy 🐻
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐀𝐭 𝐀 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 ♡
Thank you for the request anon, I hope you like it! 💕
Carmen Berzatto x reader || Carmy playlist || Main masterlist
51: “I can’t live without you.”
The strain of Carmy's new responsibilities at The Beef has taken a toll on your relationship, leaving you worried and questioning your place in his life. And you're scared, but not for the reason Carmy thinks.
Angst (with a happy ending). Hurt/comfort. Mention of what happened to Michael.
word count: 2.1k
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You stand in the dimly lit hallway of your apartment, anxiously tapping your foot against the worn floorboards. It’s late, much later than Carmen had told you he would be home. The clock on the wall mocks you with its ticking, each second feeling like an eternity.
Your relationship with Carmen has been strained lately, the weight of his responsibilities after taking over The Beef after Micheal’s death has taken a toll on both of you.
You and Carmen had met in New York, about two years ago, when he had moved into the apartment next to yours. You had not looked for a relationship and neither had Carmen, but it was like fate had kept pushing the two of you together. 
It had just started out with a few chance encounters in the hallway or at the local grocery store, with him stumbling slightly over his words as he asked you about your day or offered to carry your groceries. 
But it had been a power outage which had left the whole building in darkness that really had brought you together. You had fumbled your way out in the hallway to figure out if it was just your apartment that had lost power or if it was the whole building. And that’s when you had bumped into Carmen, literally. His strong arms had wrapped around you instinctually, preventing you from falling on your ass. 
You had candles in your apartment, unlike Carmen so you had invited him in to share the light and wait for the power to be restored. As the hours passed, you two ended up talking and getting to know each other better. It was a simple yet intimate evening, and from that moment on, you felt a connection that you couldn’t ignore and a sweet friendship had blossomed between you.
He didn’t have much time off, literally working at one of the best restaurants in the world, but the moments you did spend together were cherished, and it hadn’t taken long before your connection had grown even stronger, evolving into something more than just friendship and eventually blossoming into a real and deep relationship. 
You had not hesitated to say yes to move back to Chicago with him after his brother had passed away.
You never got to meet Michael, Carmen didn’t really speak to him through all the time you dated, you've never fully understood what had happened between them, but you have a feeling that Carmen didn't really knew it either, and he has never really liked talking about his family in general, but you do know that he loved Michael a lot.
You had tried to convince him to go to the funeral, telling him that you would be there for him, but he had kept shooting the idea down. He kept excusing it by saying that he couldn’t, his contract at the French Laundromat hadn’t expired yet, and despite that being true, you had a feeling that going to the funeral would make the loss of his brother feel all the more real, and that was something he wasn’t ready for.
You also had the feeling that he didn’t want to see his mother, at least not in that setting, so you had just decided that you would let him grieve in his own way, and just be there for him in whatever way he needed you to.
It had been the same you had done with his job after all.  
You know that he had loved his job in New York, in his own fucked up way. It was a messed up, down right toxic, work environment, and it had hurt to see him come home every night, tired to the bone, both physically and emotionally drained, yet he kept doing it. His ineffable love for the culinary arts that just couldn’t be extinguished kept him going. It is just after you moved to Chicago a month ago that he told you that he would throw up every morning before work.
It crushed you to hear that Carmen was suffering silently, but you understood why he continued to push through. The restaurant industry was demanding and competitive, and Carmen was determined to prove himself. You had hoped that the move to Chicago would bring some relief, a fresh start away from the toxicity of his previous job. However, the weight of his responsibilities at The Beef seemed to have only deepened the strain on your relationship.
You love him, and you want to be there for him, no matter what. But the constant absence and distance have started to make you question where you stand in his life. But most of all you’re just sad that he is sad, or really it's more that you're sad that he is in a situation that should make him sad, it's like he doesn’t even really allow himself to be sad, and that really hurts to watch. 
You try to push away those negative thoughts, you try yo remind yourself that Carmen is just going through a difficult time, but that just makes the worried feeling in the pit of your stomach feel even heavier.
As the front door finally creaks open, your heart skips a beat. Carmen steps inside, his weary eyes meeting yours. The exhaustion etched on his face is painfully evident, and your worry intensifies, yet you're just so happy to see him. As he slides off his jacket his white t-shirt comes into view, it’s stained with sauces and his hands bear the marks of countless hours spent in the kitchen, but it’s the weariness in his eyes that tears at your heart.
“Hey,” he mumbles, his voice hoarse from lack of rest. “Why are you still up?
You muster a small smile, trying to hide your concern. “I couldn’t sleep,” you admit softly, stepping closer to him. “I was worried about you. You said you’d be home earlier.”
Carmen sighs heavily, running a hand through his unruly hair. “I know, I’m sorry, it was just... things got really busy tonight.”
You nod, biting your lip to hold back the words that threaten to spill out. You want to scream at him, not from a place of anger, but frustration, to make him understand that his health is more important than any sandwich on the menu. But you also know that he pours everything he got into the restaurant.  
“I’m just worried about you, Carmy,” you finally manage to say, your voice tinged with both frustration and concern. “You work yourself to the bone, and it’s taking a toll on you. I can’t bear to see you like this.”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I know,  but there is not much I can do about it, okay. I’m sorry for putting you through this. But I can’t just abandon the restaurant. If I don’t fix it Jimmy’s gonna sell it and turn it into a fucking Applebee’s.” 
Tears well up in your eyes as you take a step closer to him. “I get that, Carm. I do. But you need to take care of yourself too. It hurts seeing you like this.” 
Carmen looks at you, his tired eyes searching your face. There’s a mix of frustration and resignation in his gaze, as if he knows you’re right but doesn’t know how to change the situation. The weight of his responsibilities seems to visibly crush him, and it breaks your heart.
“I know, I know,” Carmen says, his voice tinged with defeat. “But it’s not that simple. The Beef is struggling, and I need to turn it around. I can’t just walk away.”
Your frustration builds, and you can’t help but argue back. “I understand that, Carmy, but you also can’t sacrifice your well-being for the sake of this restaurant. There has to be a way to find a balance, to take care of yourself too.”   
“I know I need to take care of myself, and I don’t want to keep putting you through this,” his voice taking on a more frustrating tone, he isn’t yelling, but there’s an edge to it. “But I just... I don’t know how to do that right now, okay”
The tone of his voice makes you pause for a moment, he has never talked to you like that before and you can’t help but slightly flinch. You know that he is just frustrated but it still makes you feel a deep pang of hurt. It’s not that you’re scared or anything, you know that he would never ever hurt you, you’re just sad that it has come to this. 
But seeing you flinch clearly affects Carmen, his frustrated expression softening, turning into an expression of guilt and regret instead.  
You swallow the lump in your throat and take a deep breath, trying to regain your composure before saying what you need to say. “I love you, Carmen, and I want you to be happy. But I can’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself in the process.” you’re taking a deep breath before continuing, “you’re scaring me.” 
Carmen’s gaze meets yours, the expression in his eyes breaking your heart. “I never wanted to scare you. And I-I would never hurt you.” 
This makes your heart break even more, yes you had flinched at his tone of voice, but not because you in any way had thought he would physically hurt you, never. The thing you’re scared of is that he’ll end up hurting himself…  
You reach out to take Carmen’s hand, wanting to assure him that you understand his intentions, but also wanting to convey the depth of your concern.
“I’m not scared you’ll hurt me, Carm. I know you’d never do that. I’m scared you’ll hurt yourself.” Tears are now streaming down your cheeks, your voice trembling as you’re about to unveil your biggest fear in all of this. “I just don’t want you to end up like Micheal, okay… I was scared that the reason you didn’t come home was because you had blown your brains out on a bridge somewhere.”  
Carmen’s eyes widen at your words, a mixture of shock and pain flashing across his face.
He reaches out to gently wipe away your tears, his touch warm and comforting. “I’m not going to end up like Michael,” he whispers, his voice filled with a mixture of determination and vulnerability. “I promise you, I could never do that to you.”
You hold onto his hand tightly, desperately seeking reassurance. “But Carmy, you’re pushing yourself so hard. You’re not taking care of yourself, and it scares me. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t live without you.”
He pulls you into a tight embrace, holding you as if he never wants to let go. “You don’t have to, I promise you.” His voice cracks with emotion, and you can feel his tears dampening your shoulder.
You hold onto him just as tightly, your heart breaking for the pain he’s been carrying alone and you’re just so happy that he is finally letting himself cry.  
Carmen pulls away slightly to look into your eyes, his expression a mix of gratitude and determination. “I don’t deserve you, but I’m so grateful to have you by my side.”
You smile through your tears, relieved to see him opening up and acknowledging the need for change. “We’ll figure it out together. We’ll find a way to make things work.”
“Yeah, we will,” he nods, before continuing. “I… I actually started going to Al-Anon, I go three times a week.” 
You’re taken aback by Carmen’s revelation, but also immensely proud of him for taking this step. You gently squeeze his hand, your love for him growing with each passing moment. “That’s amazing, Carm,” you say softly. “For how long?”
“I started going two weeks ago, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything earlier,” he admits, a hint of shame in his voice. “I guess I just needed to take it in my own tempo.” 
You shake your head, wiping away your remaining tears. “It’s okay, Carm, I’m just so glad you’re looking out for yourself.” 
Carmen takes a deep breath, his gaze filled with renewed determination. “I really don’t deserve you, thank you for not giving up on me, even when I pushed you away. I love you so much, and I promise I’ll find a way to make this work.”
You lean in and press a gentle kiss to his lips, feeling a sense of hope and unity. “I love you too, Carmy. And yeah, we’ll face this together, one step at a time.”
Thank you for reading! ♡ this is my first time writing for Carmy and I had such a blast writing for him, but I also was a little intimidated by this piece, so please let me know what you thought ♡
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fairyhaos · 7 months
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how seventeen help their mentally tired s/o
requested by @mirxzii : fave writer is back!!!! how ab svt with an s/o whos just like really mentally tired and wants to do nothing but sit and cuddle all day
notes: sorry it took me so long to get to this ml :((( i hope you like it!!
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seungcheol
he's clearing his day schedule, no questions asked. no gym session or meet up with jeonghan or consultation with the company is more important than him being there with you and helping you when you're at your lowest. does whatever you want him to do and then some, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you back to bed and resting you against his chest, running fingers through your hair and down your back until you feel calmer again, calmed by his presence and his care
jeonghan
ur just like him fr. no but in all honesty, his expression honest-to-god just melts into concern when you tell him quietly that you don't really wanna do anything today, and he just pats your hair affectionately and says that's okay baby, it's totally fine to just spend the day in bed. sends you back to bed instantly, and joins you a few minutes after with two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands, smiling and saying that there's no better way to spend a mentally tired day than in bed with a sweet drink beside the person you love
joshua
he gets worried when the hours tick by and you're still not getting out of bed. by the time midday has come and gone and you still haven't come out of your room, he knocks on your door to find you just sitting in bed, staring up at the ceiling. you haven't even opened the curtains yet, and he smiles softly, coaxing you out of bed and trying to get you to eat something and at least take a walk while the sun is still out because he knows that, even when you're as mentally tired as you are right now, you'll feel terrible if you just do nothing and he knows that a walk is a sure way to make you feel a little better <3
junhui
doesn't get the concept of "lying around and doing nothing", at first. comes into ur room w his arms laden with snacks and his laptop, saying that he's gonna keep you company while u do nothing :D!! it takes a minute but he eventually realises u really wanna just do Nothing at all, and he drops all his things to just curl up next to you, tracing mindless shapes into the palm of your hand, and it makes you smile a little, just how willing and eager he is to do his best to take care of you and be by your side
hoshi
cracks his knuckles and is like "get ready to have the best nothingness-filled day of your entire LIFE." and it makes you smile, but also it really is kind of amazing how it does end up being a really good day despite the fact that you do nothing. his voice is the sole thing that fills the air the entire day, either rambling mindlessly or recounting ridiculous events that have happened to him lately. you don't need to respond, don't need to say a word, and you can't help but watch him with adoring eyes the entire time
wonwoo
is genuinely worried that you've caught some sickness, bc it's not normal to see you walking around the house looking so llistless and exhausted. when you admit to him that you just feel so drained mentally, his brow furrows in concern and is instantly drifting toward you, wrapping his arms around you as you finally break. spends the rest of the day by your side, constantly kissing the top of your head and squeezing your hand. doesn't let you do anything strenuous at all, insisting that you just relax
woozi
he can't exactly tell you off for deciding to camp out in your room for the entire day, bc he's had far too many days where he does the exact same thing in his studio. except for you, you're doing it bc you're feeling down, and that will never do. checks up on you frequently, pressing kisses to the top of your head and while he hesitates when you ask for cuddles, he eventually gives in and clambers into bed next to you, bc he can never, ever refuse your requests. especially if they'll help you feel better. 
minghao
you wanna do nothing??? the whole day??? gets worried and says that that's not a very good way to spend your day, but there are phantom tears brimming in your eyes and he can see that you are so close to breaking, so he relents with a smile and a kiss to your forehead, telling you that's fine, just go back to bed and relax. he's a bit busy that day, so you don't expect to see him, but a few moments later he's knocking on your door and peeking in with a smile, prepared to hug you in bed and do nothing with you all day. nothing's more important than being by your side, after all. 
mingyu
mingyu is ridiculously and scarily in tune with your emotions and your mental state. you don't even have to say a word to him: he already knows that you're feeling burnt out, and he's gonna do everything to make you feel better. makes sure your day is as relaxing and calming as possible to make you feel better and is basically rushing around doing everything he thinks will help, until you catch his hand as he scurries past the sofa, admitting that all you really need are some cuddles with your boyfriend. his face lights up with realisation and he sits down next to you, engulfing you in his arms and you've never felt quite so at peace
dokyeom
builds you a blanket fort. even if you wanna do nothing, he wants to to be able to do nothing in style! and honestly, a blanket fort is the best of the best, in his opinion. buries you under pillows and fluffy blankets and gives you a kiss on the forehead and backs out of your room, fully intending to give you some peace and quiet by yourself. comes back not even an hour later tho, bc he was getting kinda bored and even if you're not doing anything, he's always gonna want to spend his day with u
seungkwan
kind of horrified when you tell him that you don't really wanna do anything today, because that's not like you. even when you're tired, you still try and do something, and so this is how he knows that you're truly at your most exhausted. situates you on the sofa, and just. engulfs you in his arms and doesn't let go. watches trashy tv with you and laughs softly at the ridiculous bits, and it makes you smile sleepily against his chest, grateful for how warm and unquestioning and loving seungkwan always, always is
vernon
when you tell him that you wanna do nothing today bc you're feeling mentally drained, he nods slowly and a little confusedly. even as you curl up on the sofa and do absolutely nothing, you still look so sad and exhausted, and he thinks you need more than just a day of nothingness. so he sits down next to you, tapping you on the shoulder and when you turn to him, he wordlessly wraps his arms around you, one hand around your shoulders and the other cradling the back of your head. it's a protective position, and the affection makes you melt, finally feeling the tension in your head begin to ease.
chan
he's looking over you worriedly the entire time as you tell him over breakfast that you don't feel like doing anything that day. he's constantly hovering in your periphery as you settle onto the couch, swathed in blankets, not even bothering to pick up your phone bc you're just so mentally exhausted. finally decides that he can't take seeing you look so exhausted anymore, and drags you outside to take a walk, and you do look a little better afterwards, but it's not until he pulls you into a tight hug when you get home that you finally, finally relax into him
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undeadcannibal · 1 year
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imagine one of the Fem! rookies getting lil skeleton hands tattooed on her hands, and ghost just-
*INSTANT BONER*
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Summary: Ghost can’t help but be turned on when he notices the Recruits’ new tattoos. Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley/Reader
Genre: One-shot, request(s) Word count: 1,138
Warnings: Mature rating, mention(s) of sexual acts.
A/N: Ooh, I had fun with this one, Anon. Was tempted to turn it into a full fic, but figured I’d be an asshole and tease y’all since I write tons of smut otherwise. Whoops! Anywho, thank you so much for the request, Anon. I hope y’all enjoy it~ Also, I apologize if this has a lot of mistakes. I’ve been slammed with allergies, mental stuff, and work, so I’m all sorts of fucked lol. ( Gif credit: xxx )
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Ghost paid little mind to most of the rookies they trained. At least, he had before until he'd met you a few months back. Price had mentioned to 141 he was interested in possibly having each of them bring some new recruits under their wing to help show them the ropes. He figured if anyone could get any of them ready, it'd be his boys. Each of them eventually had someone signed to them to help train. Ghost's recruit certainly was interesting, to say the least. 
John had figured with Ghost being more reserved than the rest of the group, it might be easier if he had a recruit that kept to themselves more than the rest. He was thankful for that. The less he had to worry about babysitting, the better. Thankfully, that never seemed to be the case with the recruit Price had assigned to him. 
You went by the call sign Mouse. 
At first, he'd assumed it was for your small stature, but after he'd heard whispers from the others, he quickly realized it was due to your specialty for silence and speed. Apparently, you were just as quiet as you were quick in your fieldwork. That he could appreciate. Yet, aside from that, he didn't know much about you even after weeks of training together. 
Aside from learning the truth behind your call sign, he'd also come to notice that - surprisingly - you were covered in numerous tattoos.
Every time the two of you sparred together, he found himself discovering a new tattoo he hadn't seen before or a blank spot that had yet to be filled with ink. 
Eventually, somewhere around the two-month mark, he found himself asking you about them after a successful session. You'd finally managed to break out of a particular grapple you were struggling with thanks to the size difference between you two. However, Ghost refused to relent until you'd gotten the hang of it. Your enemies wouldn't play fair if they towered over you, so he had to prepare you for any sort of outcome to give you the best chance of survival possible. Still, that didn't mean he was so strict as to not celebrate the small victories. 
As the two of you were hydrating after training, he'd found it in him to comment on your tattoos for whatever reason. 
"Noticed you had a blank spot there." He'd comment, glancing down at the blank space of flesh on your hands. It'd surprised him to see your arms covered yet you still had yet to choose something for them. Maybe you didn't care for hand tattoos, he wondered... 
"Have any plans for 'em?" 
You paused in bringing your water bottle to your lips, pursing them as you hummed softly. Seemingly debating on how to answer his question. 
"Mm, yeah... I've got a few ideas in mind for them, but have yet to settle on anything yet." 
He was content to leave it at that had it not been for your next response. 
"I've got a few ideas in mind but haven't settled on anything just yet. Tell you what though, when I do get those spots filled in, you'll be the first one I show them to." 
By the time that'd happened, it'd been a few months later and he'd pretty much forgotten the interaction until he'd bumped into you again on his way out for a smoke break. You'd stopped to say hi and chat for a bit before he suddenly saw your eyes widening. A giddy smile broke out on your face shortly afterward. 
"Oh, I nearly forgot!" Raising the sleeves of your long sleeve top, you also quickly rid yourself of those pair of gloves he often saw you wearing. "Check out the new tattoos I got while I was back home." 
With your forearms and hands bare to him, he could see the fresh, black ink now covering the spaces on your appendages that previously clear soft skin. 
The moment he realized what the tattoos were, Simon was thankful for the strait-laced control of his reactions. Certain if he wasn't so strict with himself that he'd be giving off numerous micro-expressions showing his interest in your new pieces. 
Of all the tattoos you had to get, it just had to be a stylistic representation of your wrists and hands skeletal system. 
Rationally, he understood that the new set of ink likely had no meaning behind it - most of his own didn't - but a smaller, possibly more primal part of him wanted to puff up his chest. Preen at the thought of everything you could have chosen, it was something similar to the gloves he often wore himself. Only much more permanent. And attractive. 
Fucking hell, he was down bad over something that meant nothing at all. 
Just so he didn't break down and smile, Ghost took a long and deep drag of his cigarette before exhaling the entirety of the smoke from his lungs. Watching the vapors dissipate entirely before finally having it in him to look at you once again. 
"How'd you do during the fingers and knuckles?" 
You laughed sweetly and softly, causing him to feel an odd sense of pride in being the cause behind that laughter. Especially when he took notice of the way your cheeks appeared even softer and rounder than usual as you did so. 
Eyes down, soldier. Look at the tattoos, not her damn squishable cheeks. 
Watching you wiggle your fingers in his direction, you grinned up at him cheekily. 
"Pain comes with the territory. Besides, I kinda enjoy that type of pain, and it's also a hell of a lot cheaper than therapy." You joked. 
Simon felt like a pitiful man when he felt the familiar stirring of arousal deep within his lower belly shortly after. His mind already drifting towards mental images of you down on your knees before him. Opening his pants just so you could wrap those tattooed fingers around the base of his cock. Stroke him till he grew hard and began to twitch within your palms. Eventually - given your permission - he'd paint the dark ink with his release, claiming you in a way and--
He needed to stop his thoughts before he began to spiral down the rabbit hole that was his sudden lewd thoughts that came on with your new tattoos. 
He was going to need another cigarette as soon as he finished his first one. 
Clearing his throat, Simon glanced at you with dilated, bright eyes. 
"They look good on you, kid." 
Even if he wouldn't admit it aloud, Ghost secretly saw it as a secret bond between the two of you.
Now, you had a permanent mark of his favorite pair of gloves on your body.
The thought alone turned him on much more than he'd ever thought possible. 
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2K notes · View notes
delfiore · 6 months
Text
—DO YOU THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU?
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pairing: leah williamson x reader
synopsis: in the end, what is meant to be will always be. or; leah struggles after the break up.
word count: 4.5k
a/n: this is a continuation of LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO. i just have to make things angsty i’m sry, if i don’t i start gnawing at the bars of my enclosure but worry not, this will turn fluffy in the end :)
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EIGHT. Paris.
It took about 45 mins for Leah to decide that she longer wanted to be in this damned opera house.
The red carpet was exhausting enough, but she powered through it, familiar faces like Amelia DiMoldenberg’s making it barely enough to get through.
The dinner had gone into an intermission, and she had a moment to relax from the cameras, being sat at a table not far from the stage. Ever since she first attended the GQ Men of the Year Dinner a few years ago, it had created a lot of buzz around her every year, fans speculating whether she would come again, donning outfits so foreign on her body. Back then, she still had a support system that she looked forward to coming home to. Now, maybe the only positive to this night was that, whatever happened, she would eventually get to go home and sleep by the end of it.
She had to tilt her head all the way up to get a full glimpse of the ceiling. The Royal Opera House wasn’t the oldest building erected in London by far, but it was one of most interesting to look at, if she wasn’t so in love with her club and the look of the Emirates that was. It was grandiose, regal and typical of Baroque architecture, the concave ceiling arching over her, stretching all the way back to the five balconies—generously lit and horse-shoe-shaped seating areas—stacked on top of each other. It looked a little bit like the Théâtre du Châtelet in Paris that she got to see when she attended the Ballon d’Or for the first time a couple of years ago. A lot of things can change in two years, and Leah wasn’t sure whether it was for the better or not.
Her agent caught her in the middle of her admiring when he gave her shoulder a light tap, telling her that she was expected at the after-party too. Great, another two hours she’d have to endure as people praise her name for achievements unworthy of praise, just because she was Leah Williamson, captain of the Lionesses. But whatever else he said after that, Leah didn’t register, because her eyes had found a familiar frame standing a few tables away.
You looked dashing in your black nighttime attire, which sparkled every time the limelight happened to sweep past you. A gentle smile adorned your face as you conversed your heart away with a couple of actors whose names were lost on her. When you put your hand on one of them and laughed, your eyed darted over to her for a split second.
Only when those actors had left, did she even think of approaching you, but her feet were planted on the ground.
One, two, three, she counted in her head. One, two, three; come on, Leah . . .
“Hi, you!” There was a residual cheerfulness from your previous conversation in your voice. “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah,” she tried to chuckle away her nerves, wiping the sweat in her hands on her pant legs. “You been okay?”
“Yeah,” you said it so softly that she almost missed it, if she wasn’t watching your lips. “Are you? Beth says you don’t come around her place anymore.”
“You still talk to Beth?”
“Yeah, she’s my friend, Lee. I . . . hope you don’t mind.”
“No! No, that’s . . . it’s great.” Leah said quickly.
You had smiled at her gratefully, and grasped her hand. “It’s good seeing you again.”
“You too.” She had said, robotically, before deciding against it. “Hey, don’t be a stranger, alright?”
You smiled again. This time, you brought her into your chest and wrapped your arms around her neck. “You first,” you said with a glint in your eyes, then you disappeared into the crowd.
And for a few brief moments, Leah Williamson didn’t think about how exhausted she was, only about how much she has missed being held by you. After all, it had been almost two years since she and you broke up, and maybe Leah was never able to move on like she had promised you.
How could she?
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NINE. Be My Mistake.
She hated the feeling afterwards. She hated herself for having initiated it, for chasing after the girl like a hungry wolf in that nightclub. Now, Leah couldn’t bear the feeling of her lanky arms and sweaty skin touching her, like the intimacy was warranted, like she had somehow earned it.
Leah knew it was begrudging of her to shove the girl’s arm away so heartlessly and move upright to the edge of the bed, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t bring herself to be intimate with someone else, not yet. Not when every time she felt her skin she imagined yours, soft and scented with your familiar smell; every time she closed her eyes she saw your face like a ghost, refusing to leave her psyche; every time she opened her mouth to let out a noise of pleasure, it took everything in her to hold herself back from uttering Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.
The girl was confused but she was still, no doubt trying to decipher the sudden shift in Leah’s demeanor. She hated her stillness, the way her eyes watched her frame like she was a wounded animal in its enclosure.
“Please leave,” Leah said quietly, begging.
Silence.
“I don’t know what you’re going through, but if . . . you need someone—”
“Thank you, Delaney.” She gritted her teeth. “Please get out.”
Tonight, it was Delaney with the fiery red hair and dimples peppered over her cheekbones. A few nights ago, it was Lisa-Mae with the sultry brown eyes and unforgettable plump lips. Then there might have been an Erin and Hailey and Polly and maybe even a Daniela from when she visited Keira in Barcelona. She hated that she somehow remembered all of their names and kept count. Body upon body, yet she could not forget the one body she was using them all to forget about.
She couldn’t turn to alcohol, couldn’t smoke or do hard drugs because they would affect her performance on the pitch, but God knows she was thinking about it constantly. Anything to take this pain away for a moment, lest she turns into the starving wolf and goes out to hunt at night again. If only the press caught on to what she was doing.
Righteous Lioness turned starving wolf the moment the loneliness becomes a little too much to bare.
But she knew you wouldn’t have judged her. No, you would wrap her in your arms and let her scream, cry, do whatever she wanted to rid herself of the torment. She remembered all the nights you spent on the bathroom floor with her as she battled through her endometriosis, and how you would hold her like the world was about to collapse outside the window.
Leah was on the bathroom floor again, but she was alone this time, and the floor tiles felt colder and harsher than she had remembered.
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TEN. Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy).
The feeling she got when the three whistles finally blew came to Leah quite rarely. It was one of elation and immense joy that the result of the game was finalized, because she had known half an hour ago that Arsenal would bring home the crucial three points from the match.
She brought her fists in the air as she made her rounds, patting her teammates on the back and shaking hands with opponents. She found Kyra and hoisted her in the air with a tight hug, as her younger teammate managed to score and assist today.
“Thank you, Leah.” Kyra giggled, as she was put down. “Is Y/N here?”
Leah’s smile remained, but she scrunched her eyebrows. “How did you hear about that?”
“How could I not? Y/N Y/L/N, coming to watch us play. I won’t be surprised if social media was buzzing about that rather than the actual match.”
If Kyra knew, that meant the entire team knew. She would endure the endless teasing if it meant getting to see you again, though.
Leah had found where you were sitting right from the start, in the VIP box where her friends and family sat, the usual spot you occupied when you were still together. Back then, she would watch you jog down the stairs with a blinding grin on your face, hop over the barricade and pull her into a bone-crushing hug. It could be a sold-out Emirates Stadium, but the only thing she wanted to watch was you. She still wanted to.
“Hi! Great game today.” You didn’t hug her, but did something far worse. You swung your arm and gave her bicep a quick pat, like a friend would.
“Thanks,” she said. “Should have scored that header though.”
“Hey, don’t put yourself down like that. You were great.” Somehow, your words made her feel worse about herself, and she just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again. They felt patronizing.
Not far away, Beth’s joyful laughter cut through her sulking. Turning to look at the woman, she saw Beth wrapping her arms tightly around Viv’s neck and the Dutch spinning her around gleefully. Viv had managed to score a hat-trick today—her first since returning from her ACL injury—and even if she didn’t celebrate such an important feat, she would be dragged into one because her girlfriend definitely wouldn’t leave it alone.
It reminded her of when she would come home and celebrate her wins with you. She didn’t need any fancy parties or lavish gifts, just being in your company was more than enough. You would always end up buying her gifts though. “Just because”, you would say, the I love you going unspoken, but she knew it was there. She could always feel it hanging in the silence, in the spaces in your home, even when you were half a world away filming. She could always feel it, like a hearth, a palpable warmth flickering in her chest.
It made her envious watching Beth and Viv that they had what she once did.
“Y/N! You made it!” Beth’s voice tore Leah from her thoughts.
Despite her sentimental predicament, a chuckle made its way onto her lips as she watched you embrace Beth like two schoolgirls finally united again after the summer holidays.
“How long are you staying in London?” Beth asked.
“I don’t know, really,” you replied. “I’m doing a thing with Stella McCartney, so it might take a while.”
Leah couldn’t help but perk up at that. She could feel Viv glancing at her from the corner of her eyes.
“No way! Look at ya. Moving on to the fashion world already!” Beth exclaimed and gave your shoulder a light shove.
Only when you and Beth had walked away happily chatting did Vivianne elbow her gently.
“They seem happy,” the Dutch said.
“Yeah,” Leah pursed her lips. “That’s good.”
“And you? Are you happy?”
Leah knew that the both of them knew she wasn’t, but that wasn’t the right answer. She would not admit to something that she has been working for two years to get over, because it would mean that her woes were all for nothing.
“I am,” she nodded. “I’m glad they’re happy.”
If anything, Leah still loved you enough to admit that.
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ELEVEN. Me.
Leah didn’t sleep much these days. She never really did—adrenaline being her biggest enemy—but she would find herself crying in frustration at four in the morning, unable to fall asleep.
It would be during those torturous hours that she would reminisce on the conversation in which she pulled the plug on your relationship.
It was a slippery slope of miscommunication, both of you were to blame, but she was the one who decided to run away instead of trying to work it out. She still kept the ring in a drawer somewhere, but the memory of your rejection made it to painful to look at.
In hindsight, she could have said it a bit differently, but she was close to exploding the previous days that all of it came flooding out of her.
She replayed the conversation often, like a broken record in her head, swapping out things that she could have said or you could have said that would have lead to a different outcome, maybe one in which she wasn’t so miserable two years on.
It was 1:43am, and she was wide awake yet again. You’d always had an irregular sleep pattern, and she wondered whether you were awake too.
She knew it was a mistake, and that she would regret it in the morning, but she texted you anyway.
hey are u awake?
Slamming her phone on the other side of the bed, Leah curled in on herself, burying her face in the pillows trying not to cry. If she hadn’t looked up in time, she would almost miss the incoming call on her screen. It was you.
“Hey,” she picked up after sniffling her tears away.
“Hey, you,” your voice was soft and lulling. “What an odd time for a footballer to be awake. Shouldn’t you be getting your beauty sleep?”
This made her chuckle. “If I did get all of my beauty sleep, you lot would have no chance.”
“Watch out, everyone. Leah Williamson’s ego is inflating, try not get crushed by it.”
As Leah’s laughter died down, she felt an awkwardness settled over the line. A silence once so comfortable now felt forced, straining under the pull between what once was and the ruins of it. The heavy weight of unspoken words curled on the tip of her tongue, the broken record of her mistake playing ever louder in her head.
“I didn’t expect to hear from you,” you finally broke the silence, your voice teetering between caution and curiosity.
“Yeah, well, insomnia makes one do questionable things.”
Leah wondered if she had accidentally revealed too much, and whether it was appropriate to do so. You two weren’t intimate anymore, you were barely friends nowadays, the finest thread of your acquaintance lied solely on your hangouts with Beth. How strange it was, you were half of her soul. Now you were almost like passersby on the street.
“Is everything okay?” You asked, a sense of concern in your tone.
“Um,” she hummed, trying to pull herself together. “Not really. I-I haven’t been doing too well.”
“Leah,” you said. “I-I know we’re not as close as we were before, but I wasn’t lying when I said I still want us to be friendly at least. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”
“I know.” She said, her voice wavering. She wouldn’t be able to hide her feelings from you, never you. “I know. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner.”
“It’s okay, Lee. It hurt me a lot, not gonna lie, but I understand where you were coming from.”
Leah couldn’t hold it in anymore, and squeezed her eyes shut, her tears wetting the pillow she lay on. “I can’t be your friend, Y/N. I can’t just pretend like the last five years didn’t happen.”
There was a brief silence once more before you spoke. “I know. Might be selfish of me to wish things were different.”
“Then I’m selfish too,” she said, almost a whisper.
There was a pause, in which Leah bit the inside of her cheeks so hard they might start bleeding.
“Are you coming to Beth’s thing on Friday?” You asked.
“I think I’m expected to be there. Why?”
“Good, I’ll be there too. We’ll talk then.”
“Okay,” Leah said dumbly.
“Now, go to sleep.”
She giggled. “You first.”
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TWELVE. Sincerity Is Scary.
Leah’s teammates have teased her many times throughout the evening, stating her unnecessary brooding was actually unnecessary this time and that she should liven up. She really couldn’t. Just thinking about seeing you again tonight made her want to have a heart attack and end her misery right there.
But the moment she heard your voice as you stepped into Beth and Viv’s house, a bottle of wine in hand and a bright smile on your lips, Leah felt her anxiety dissipate into oblivion, scolding herself for ever feeling nervous.
After all, it was you.
She waited patiently with a soft smile, her arms folded behind her back as she waited for all the girls to swoon over you. She had all night to keep you company, she was in no rush.
“Hey,” you found her after all the canoodling. Extending an arm, you awaited a hug which she gladly accepted.
“Hi,” she offered to take your jacket and hung it on the rack by the door. “You got here alright?”
“Man, the traffic at rush hour,” you sighed exasperatedly. “That’s the one thing I’ll never get used to. Almost makes me miss you being my personal chauffeur.”
She laughed. “That’s the only thing I was good for, was it?”
You narrowed your eyes at her teasingly. “Not just that.”
Leah wasn’t sure what you meant entirely with We’ll talk then, but seeing as she was the one who stupidly broke up with you, the balls were entirely in your court. She was just happy you were still willing to talk to her after she called you at 2am to blabber her insomniac nonsense.
She wasn’t courageous enough to sit directly next to you at the dinner table, but rather took the seat next to Katie who sat in front of you. Courage wasn’t something Leah felt much lately, and it took seeing you again for her to admit that. Perhaps she was never brave, but you always made her feel like it anyway.
Everyone loved you, the movie star that graced her team’s humble dinner. She couldn’t help but watch in awe as you managed to charm the pants off of everyone at the table with your witty remarks and crazy anecdotes. You had a presence that made everyone want to be your friend; it made her uncharacteristically shy at trying to get you to notice her, that she resorted to watching you from afar. And the few times you would make eye-contact with her, she could only look away, bashful that she had been caught staring, as her courage dwindling with each gaze.
Later in the night, when everyone was scattered around the house chatting, she found you sitting alone on the patio. Upon closer look, she could make out a smaller, fluffy unit in the form of Myle, Beth and Viv’s little pup, prancing around in front of you, waiting for you to throw the tennis ball in your hand.
The constant sound of the girls’ conversations died down the moment she stepped out in the backyard, now lit with rows of incandescent lights overhead. Myle barked once with excitement as she spotted Leah approaching.
“I think she wants you to throw it,” you handed her the ball.
She grinned and took it. “No one beats Auntie Leah.”
Little Myle was quick to launch herself across the yard on a mission to retrieve her precious artifact.
“I wanted a dog really bad, the first year we started dating.” You said, pulling your knees to your chest as a gust of wind pulled at your hair. “I wanted a little corgi or an Italian greyhound. I spent hours looking for one to adopt and researched food, bills, insurance and stuff.”
“Why didn’t you get one?” Leah asked.
“We haven’t even moved in together at that point. Plus, I was still bouncing around, you knew that.”
She did. You were shooting a movie in Canada the few first months you and her started talking. Then, you were hopping around Spain, Portugal and various parts of the UK for another project. It wasn’t ideal, but still much closer than Canada. You would fly out every other weekend to watch her play, and she would do the same and visit you on-set, moving most things aside for a couple days with you.
“I would have loved a dog, I don’t know about you.”
“I’m sure you would have. You’d probably love it more than me,” you laughed.
“No,” Leah shook her head softly. “Never.”
Summer was approaching. She could feel it in the mildness despite the breeze. For a while, the soft murmur of the wind caressing the trees was all she could hear, and Myle’s occasional huff as she impatiently waited for the ball to be tossed again.
You both sat there watching her, fantasizing of a different life, a dream that never materialized, another fragment of memories again tainted by what-ifs. Leah bit her lip, trying to calm her spiraling thoughts. She felt her courage slipping away again.
“I’m sorry I called you the other day,” she pursed her lips. “That wasn’t very appropriate. I should have asked to talk to you properly.”
“Don’t worry. Wasn’t the worst thing you could’ve done.” She heard you chuckle next to her. “I’ve had some time to think about us. Admittedly, I didn’t want to think about it at all the first few months, but my therapist told me I had to face it one way or another.”
Leah held her breath. This was the part where you tell her that you’d moved on and that she should stop pestering you. One of her knees started bouncing up and down as she waited for you to talk.
“I had to face the fact that you’re the love of my life, and that night I met you and we danced to Hozier together—on the first night we met no less—was the second best night of my life. The best was when you told me you loved me. And the worst night of my life was when you broke up with me.”
“I’m sorry,” Leah whispered, feeling her throat tighten at your confession.
“No,” you said, moving closer. “I don’t regret it. I wasn’t ready when you proposed, and that was my truth. But Leah, I’d be lying if I said that I’d be okay with letting you go again.”
“I should’ve talked to you about marriage before I asked you to marry me. It wasn’t fair on you.” Leah offered you a tearful smile.
“I want to try again. I would do it again for you.” You reached out and wiped away the tears that had silently rolled down her cheeks as she listened to you.
“I thought I’d lost my chance,” she said. “I thought you’d moved on.”
“Oh, baby,” your thumb brushed over her cheek softly. “How could you think I’d ever be able to forget about you?”
She let out a soft cry of relief. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and there was only one thing she thought of doing.
So she leaned in, never minding her wet cheeks. The last thing she saw was you closing your eyes too.
“Oh—sorry!”
The two of you jumped apart at the voice behind you. Leah turned around with a visible scowl on her face, seeing Beth grimace sheepishly as she called for Myle.
“It’s her dinner time. Come, little one, you hungry?” Beth attempted to explain herself, as Myle sprinted inside. “Alright then. As you were.”
The moment the door closed, you burst into laughter, making her break out of her frown and smile with you. “I can’t believe that just happened,” you said, laughing into her shoulder.
“I’m going to kill her,” she shook her head and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek.
She didn’t mind it too much, because she got to take you home later and make up for the last two years until the early hours of the morning. You and her would laugh about it years later.
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THIRTEEN. About You.
Your lover never backed down from a challenge.
That was her way, and that was what made her one of the best in her sport, her unrelenting spirit.
Yet, her legs felt like they would turn to jelly the moment she laid her eyes on you at the end of the aisle, umber dirt covered in white rose petals. She felt like drowning in her emotions which had all risen to the surface, and the waves would only plunge her further into itself until she was completely immobilized by it. But she knew once she was able to pull herself together and walk to you on the other end of that path, heaven would be waiting for her.
The officiate went on and on about love, life, and promises of forever, but she had made that promise to you long before this day. She kissed you fervently the moment she was able to.
It only seemed fitting that the first chapter of your story began with a dance, and the most important one to also end with a dance. She offered you a hand, and you gladly took it, a childish giggle bubbling in your throat. The song you danced to the first night you met rang out in the venue, a soft and folksy tune the backdrop of your falling in love.
“It’s not so bad, is it?” She said with a teasing grin.
You gazed into her eyes like they held the world. You had no idea that her heart beat for you, how her soul yearned for yours, how her life will not forever be intertwined with yours.
You closed your eyes and hummed, swaying with her slowly, just like you’d practiced at home a couple of weeks ago, only that instead of the four walls of your shared home baring witness to this dance, it was all your friends and families.
Memories of the first night you met, and the one in which she promised you her heart bubbled as she saw the serene look in your face. You both have come so far.
You placed your head on her chest for all to see, the way you do when you are tired after long hours of work in front of the camera, when all you wanted was the magic and warmth of her company.
Leah smiled; she couldn’t stop smiling. She smiled and smiled until her cheeks ached, even beyond then, until forever.
“No,” you mumbled. “Not bad at all.”
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a/n: happy holidays to everyone :)
662 notes · View notes
matrixbearer2024 · 4 months
Text
Karaoke Cacophony
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: This song is legitimately the reason why I ended up posting the poll that I did lmao- but if you check the lyric translations- it oddly fits the vibe for both Vox and Reader. Though it's only going to embarrass our resident TV man since our dear (Y/N) has absolutely no idea what the song actually means. Just that it sounds nice and it's something they heard over the radio back then when growing up. Vox has a built-in google translate thing so he can understand others better no matter what language, it just so happens that this hits him like a double-edged sword where he has no idea if he would've been better off not understanding the song and just appreciating the melody of your voice. BTW this interlude features an HC I have for Vox where he cooks sometimes because the systematic way it's done helps calm him down, it's inspired by something I read before but yeah- ALSO ALSO- some part kind of features reader being cracked out of their minds with pickup lines I pulled from one of @voxsremotec0ck's posts LMAO.
A/N: Also my cousin has had a HEAVY hand to play in this song choice, though her reasoning was mostly because of Angel's initial comment that watching Vox and Reader's interactions were like seeing a romcom plot unfold live. So why not go a little bit off tangent and relate them to a romantic fairytale? I also may have sorta kinda written a lot of this chapter while I myself was on a hyperactive streak because of some caffeine- Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this interlude and as always- Happy Reading!
youtube
After a while and back and forth of those games, you and Vox eventually stopped joining in despite the others still continuing to play.
You and your partner in crime had become preoccupied with laughing at memes or poking fun at whatever stupid trend was currently a fad online.
You were currently leaning against the technology overlord while he had one arm around you, the other using to poke at your phone every now and again.
The two of you were practically cuddling at this point from how close you both were but neither noticed nor even seem to care.
"They have the tidepod challenge too? Geez, people are kind of-"
"Idiotic? Stupid? Batshit crazy?"
"Pretty much."
"This is hell dollface, I'm not sure why you expected any different."
You just casually shrugged in reply, soon laughing at a dumb video you found whilst scrolling.
Vox couldn't help but subtly stare at you, especially when you seemed to be so cheerful just messing around or doing whatever.
Seeing your smile always made his day just a little bit brighter.
"Hey Vox! Stop being absolutely whipped for a second and help me out over here!"
The overlord in question just sputtered in confusion at Lucifer's words.
He wasn't whipped!
He just- admired you a lot.
Even you had raised eyebrows at the odd word choice, whipped- wasn't exactly what you would use to describe your flatscreen companion.
Not when you kind of had an inkling to what it meant.
"What are you even doing??"
Vox called back, finally taking his eyes off you and your phone to just look over in the kitchen's general direction.
Lucifer did mention about making a snack earlier, but why would the king of hell need his help of all people??
What was he planning this time???
"Something! Just get over here!!"
You just gave your companion a shrug when he looked back to you, encouraging him to just go and get it over with.
Besides, you guys could always just continue doing this and messing around when he was finished with... whatever Lucifer needed him for.
Well, that was until your brain immediately stomped on the brakes when you looked at Vox again.
He'd undone his cuffs to roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows, revealing some... bare forearms.
Before he just nonchalantly stood up and walked off towards the kitchen when the king of hell called for him again.
He didn't seem to have noticed your shattered mental-
You had dropped your phone at that point, just blinking and spacing out like an idiot before Angel noticed.
"Woaaah, what happened to (Y/N)?"
"Huh, I didn't think we'd ever see them actually speechless."
"Oooh oooh! Does that mean (Y/N) likes bad boys?!"
You shook your head in an attempt to snap out of it but couldn't stop the blush from creeping up your neck.
Oh. My. God.
You were completely in the gutter now-
Similarly to Alastor, you noticed Vox was always wearing long-sleeves or an outfit that concealed any skin at all.
And while it left you wondering what he had to hide, that consequently would lead you to imagine how he'd look like without a shirt on.
Was he just a mess of wires or something?
Did he conceal so much because he was robotic to a degree?
You had no clue how Vox's biology even worked and you didn't know how to ask without sounding weird.
Not to mention how he's able to wear some kinds of shirts given his obnoxiously sized head-
It's just curiosity is all!
You could only slap Angel's hands away when he started cautiously poking you, and you were practically steaming out of your ears from embarrassment.
It wasn't the fact that your flatscreened friend seemed to show some skin that set you off-
It was the fact your brain somehow went autopilot and registered it as HOT.
You were sure Velvette had fashioned him the outfit so it didn't surprise you that Vox looked all dapper and smart.
Dare you even say the fucking TV looked handsome-
You just didn't think he could look any better.
Until he did that.
And consequently nuked the rest of your sanity with it.
"Yep, they're totally broken-"
"Angel shut up before I beat you to death with a pillow I swear to god-"
"Oh good, you're finally reacting toots."
You merely flipped him the bird and just hid your face in your other hand, why was everything in your body trying to go on overdrive?!
"What's got you all blushy anyway? It's like you've just watched a racy porno."
"What?! No! I just- you- I don't even fucking know-"
Angel was about to continue poking at you before Lucifer and Vox finally returned.
Both chatting amiably while holding what seems to be a plate or two of treats and snacks.
So that's where they both went-
And that was when the spider noticed your gaze practically zero in on your techno-centric friend.
Ha, friend-
Yeah nobody in the hotel with half a brain believed that for even a second-
Though there didn't seem to be any differences with Vox-
His outfit was still the same, just his sleeves were...
Oh.
OH.
"WOW TOOTS YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING PRUDE OH MY GOD-"
You just shrieked incoherently at Angel and started whacking him with a couch cushion while everyone else kind of just watched you both confused.
Not to mention that you were pretty much a tomato from how red you've become.
The arachnid couldn't stop himself from just devolving into a loud laughing fit.
You had completely lost it because of some forearms, he could only imagine what your reaction would be if a certain technology overlord decided to undo some shirt buttons.
You'd probably just die on the spot!
"Uh... what happened?"
"No idea, but it sure as hell is entertaining."
By the time you were able to relatively calm down, you were still red when Vox just sat down next to you again.
"Soooo, any reason for trying to murder Angel with a pillow?"
"None that concerns you."
"Oh come on, it's gotta be something crazy if you don't tell even me."
You just adamantly shake your head and refuse to say anything no matter what Vox tried.
It was kind of cute seeing you try so hard, despite the fact the overlord knew he could always just ask the others about it later.
He didn't think it was anything too big, after all you would embarrassed by a lot of random things.
So he didn't even bother guessing at this point.
"What did you and Lucifer make anyway?"
"Hm? Chocolate strawberries, do you want some?"
"Seriously? That's what he needed help with?"
"I'm just as confused as you are doll, anyway- open your mouth."
Vox just chuckles when you shyly follow his instructions, forcing himself to look away before grabbing one of the strawberries and placing it into your mouth.
He'd be lying if he said the way you looked didn't give him other ideas.
You seeming insanely kissable being just one of them.
While the overlord knew making the treat consumed more time than just going out and probably buying it-
Seeing your eyes sparkle when you bit down made him consider that it was a little more worth it to put in that extra homemade touch.
"Didn't pin you for a guy that could cook."
You remarked, taking the plate from him and just eagerly chowing down.
Vox just chuckled, watching you so happily munch away.
You were just really cute in your own little way, not that he would ever say so.
Especially when you seemed so pleased at just such a simple snack.
"I'm not surprised, I don't exactly... have that vibe? I can cook though, it's something I do on the off chance to calm down."
"And still you eat that McDonald's garbage-"
"It's not garbage! I'm just too busy to actually cook sometimes! Running a media empire isn't easy dollface."
"The next time you do cook, I wanna try your food."
"Hm? What makes you say that?"
"Dunno, just wanna try it."
The overlord simply raised an eyebrow at you, though he didn't seem to mind your words much.
And as you scarfed down on the strawberries, he noticed a smear of chocolate streaking across your cheek.
How it got there- Vox wasn't entirely sure.
Possibly from your enthusiastic eating but he didn't really care enough at the moment to find out.
"Wait, you've got some chocolate on your face."
You looked at your companion with wide eyes when he gingerly raised a hand to wipe at your face.
The way his gaze was both calm and focused at you made your heart skip a beat.
The plate of treats in front of you now mostly forgotten.
"There. Didn't think you'd be such a messy eater doll."
He didn't seem to notice your mind kind of stall, picking up a chocolate strawberry himself to eat it.
It was a little too sweet for his taste, which was odd considering his already innate knack for deserts.
You seemed to like it though, so he didn't say anything.
And that was when Vox also noticed your more than obvious staring.
You weren't even trying to hide it were you?
Admittedly, the overlord got a little embarrassed because of it.
"Take a picture darling, it'll last longer."
"Nah, I think I would much rather look at the real thing. A picture can only do so much."
You smirked when you saw his screen proceed to tinge pink, especially when you heard his fans kick to life.
He never could get the upper hand with you, which was hilariously cute in it's own way.
It didn't take long for you to eventually get used to Vox's charm over the while you've known him.
Even if at times it would strike you when you least expected it.
You simply went back to snacking contentedly.
After a short while, all the treats were gone and you were practically bouncing off the walls with energy.
So what did you do with that sugar rush?
Absolutely torment and flirt the life out of Vox.
Slamming pickup line after pickup line into his already preoccupied mind space.
Well it was preoccupied with you to begin with but let's not mention that-
"Hey Vox- Hey Vox- Hey Vox-"
"What is it dollface?"
"Do you have a bandaid?"
"No...? Why?"
"Because I think I scraped my knee falling for you!"
He buffered a little bit but just played off being flustered with a scoff.
The rest of the hotel crew were not so subtly watching all of this go down just waiting for your overlord friend to crack.
Angel and Husker already made bets on how fast he would go down glitching -
"That was horrible."
"Nah nah nah wait I got another one-"
The overlord didn't really mind it at first, aside from the fact he was a little surprised.
Until the point it got so stupidly suggestive and then he actually had trouble dealing with the provocative ideas he got from you.
"You know, I'm just gonna start calling you my big toe."
"Your... what??"
"My big toe, so I can bang you all over the place."
The overlord had to actually ignore the snickering and hushed laughter from your spectators, why were you doing this to him of all people?!
Though as horrible as the pickup lines were, Vox would be lying if he said they weren't hitting their mark.
He was just... a little better at hiding it.
And that wasn't even the end of your tomfoolery-
Actually far from it.
Vox made a mental note to watch out for your sugar rush episodes from this point onwards.
You weren't ever this bad from what he could remember either-
Well, you would just blitz through nearly everything during a hyperactive episode before the impending sugar crash.
But never tried to flirt the socks off him!
"Are you a fitted sheet?"
"A fitted sheet? What's that got to do with-"
"Cuz you're complicated as fuck but I still need you spread across my bed."
Vox stared at you wide-eyed for a whole ass second-
Before his screen predictably started showing errors and he glitched uncontrollably.
Angel just keeled over from laughter at that point when the overlord's face went absolutely haywire.
He didn't quite bluescreen, but his screen did buffer and spazz a whole lot for a minute or so.
To which you just celebrated and cheered.
"HELL YEAAAAH! I BROKE HIM IN FIVE FUCKING SECONDS!"
That just made your arachnid friend laugh even harder.
You were an unbridled chaotic ball of energy hyped up on sugar-
But Charlie- being Charlie-
Felt a little bad for Vox being the target of your madness- and stepped in and try to direct your hyperactivity elsewhere.
However, because she had done it on a whim- she actually had no ideas what to do with you.
So she just randomly suggested karaoke.
Which seemed to get your attention anyway.
When Vox finally came crashing back into reality, he was surprised to see both you and Lucifer just tormenting a very staticky and clearly very irritated Alastor.
"YOU'RE A LOOOOSER BAMBI- A LOOOOSER-"
What even was that song?
"Huh, you were out for a while."
"What- did I miss something?? What happened?"
"Your hyperactive lover just being a menace to Alastor, other than that nothing much."
"They're not my-"
"Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that."
Vox doesn't even have the opportunity to fully retort before you suddenly ran over to him with a grin.
Apparently you noticed he was fine again-
This time he was just the slightest bit worried.
You were literally shaking from the sugar rush- oh goodness-
"Oh good you're awake! I wanted to show you something!"
Vox didn't have the option to refuse when you just dragged him over to the couch and plopped him down next to everyone else.
"Okay okay! There's this song I used to listen to because I loved the melody and how nice it sounded but I actually have no idea what it means because it's not in English and-"
Safe to say the overlord spaced out during your rambling, only picking up the important bits of your spiel.
Which TL;DR, was just that you had a song you wanted to sing but didn't actually understand.
He only snapped out of his trance when he finally heard your voice slow down to the soft piano melody.
Well, the words you were saying definitely weren't in English-
So Vox secretly decided to translate what you were saying.
Having the internet being an extension of his conscious mind was a little bit of advantage here.
Then he figured out what the lyrics were.
And almost crashed again.
"I've forgotten how long it's been since I heard you telling me, your favorite story~"
He didn't really know whether his curiosity was a good or bad thing here.
Especially when it hit him that this was a love song.
The overlord was absolutely not prepared for this at all.
"I have been thinking for a long time, I started to panic."
Sure, the lyrics weren't exactly a fit to you-
But for him?
Especially when you had still been alive?
A 100% coincidental match.
Or he thinks it's mere coincidence.
"Have I done something wrong~?"
Oh god no do not look at him like that-
Nope nope nope nope-
It took every ounce of control for Vox to just not crash again right then and there.
"You said to me full of tears: 'Fairy tales are all lies.'"
You'd memorized the song, so it made sense that you didn't need to look at the lyrics to sing.
But could you seriously stop looking at him so fondly?
You didn't even know the words you were saying, this was so unfair.
"I couldn't possibly be your prince."
That just made him think back on all the past times he was trying to be... "friendly".
Well, almost borderline romantic even when he was willing to throw down nearly everything for your sake if you so much as asked.
Not that you noticed, Vox doubted you ever would even if it slapped you in the face.
"Perhaps you won't understand- ever since you said you loved me!"
Angel just smirked when he heard the signature whirring of computer fans.
Though he wasn't sure if it was because the overlord got flustered from your singing or because he understood.
Well, it wasn't his problem-
Because it was downright hilarious how insanely oblivious you were.
"The stars in my sky shine brightly!"
Where you were concerned, that was always the case.
Not at the start of course-
But it became adamantly clear when Vox found himself eager to see what kind of chaos you would stir up next.
"I'm willing to become the angel of the fairytale that you love-"
You extended your hand out to him, a silent invite to the tech overlord asking to dance.
He chuckled and smiled at you.
Of course he'd take up that offer.
"Spread up my hands that become wings to protect you~"
The two of you just swayed and danced around to the melody, becoming engrossed once more in your own little world.
You didn't even know what you were singing, but judging by the fond look Vox had directed at you-
It seemed he was enjoying it.
So you continued to indulge him.
"You have to believe, believe that we can be like in the fairy tale!"
You blushed a little bit when he'd twirled you around, after all-
You'd never really danced like this before.
It was like a... different kind of waltz.
Still, it made you feel so dainty.
His gaze just made you feel like the most beautiful thing in the world.
"Happy and joyful in the ending~"
The rest of your friends were amused seeing the two of you pretty much being the plot to a convoluted romcom.
Especially when they realized you and Vox kind of forgot they were actually there.
Charlie thought your relationship was endearingly cute-
Vaggie just reacted like her theory had been entirely confirmed.
Alastor felt like it was kinda disgusting-
And Lucifer nearly decked him for trying to ruin your moment.
Angel, Husker and Nifty were busy placing bets on who between the either of you would confess to the other first.
Though by the time the song ended, everyone couldn't help but groan or facepalm.
"Soooo- how'd I do?"
"It's okay, I'd say there's still room for lots of improvement."
"Oh fuck you Vox-"
"Like you'd ever actually go through with that."
"HA- don't try me you slutty-waisted lanky TV-"
"I've been called worse by better, get creative!"
You were both fucking idiots.
And at this point-
It was like your romantic dance hadn't even happened at all.
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writingseaslugs · 1 year
Text
Diasomnia: When You're Sick
The last dorm, and probably the one dorm you don’t want taking care of you…minus Silver. Hope you guys enjoyed this dorm series, I know I did. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to skedaddle back to work. Also the intro is the same for all parts, so if you’ve read it once, you’ve read it all.
Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please click the “Au Information” below!
Request Information | Masterlist | Au Information
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Diasomnia: When You’re Sick
The worst thing to ever happen to you while attending Night Raven College had to be, hands down, getting sick. You were alone in the dorm with only ghosts and Grim to keep you company, and as much as you loved them, they couldn’t take care of you when you became sick. This meant you had to make do and hope that everything was alright. Normally if you were under the weather, you’d just suck it up and go to class so as to not worry anyone. This time however, that wasn’t an option.
You woke up with every muscle in your body feeling sore and aching with even the slightest movement. Your stomach churned something fearsome and you had a runny nose and cough to boot. You had no idea what illness you had fallen to. Having so many symptoms…you could only assume it was the flu or something akin to that.
Still, there was no way you were making it to class like this. So begrudgingly you told Grim you weren’t feeling good and needed to rest, and to go to class and get your homework so you could do it later. The demon cat was grumpy about not having his henchman, but eventually gave in, leaving you alone to rest in your room and hope that whatever you had would go away.
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Malleus Draconia
Sebek will be the one mentioning you being sick in passing, noting how Grim had been out of control due to your absence. That’s all Malleus needs to hear before he’s sneaking away from his retainers and going over to your dorm. Thankfully you’re asleep when he appears in your room. He’s standing over your bed, looking over you and placing his large hand over your forehead, noting that it’s warmer than it should be. This prompts him to call up Lilia to inform him of the situation. That’s where the trouble begins.
Malleus has no clue how to care for a human, so it’s already off to a rocky start. Lilia himself knows a little bit, as he had to take care of Silver. The thing with Silver is, other than the narcolepsy, he was always a fairly healthy child…according to Lilia. Really he just always missed the signs that Silver was sick or though it was just a quirk. So now you have two fae over your bed, trying to figure out what’s wrong as you slowly wake up and meet their eyes. You might have a heart attack that devolves into a coughing fit as Malleus is frantically trying to help you.
You’re going to be the one needing to tell them they need to get you the school nurse, and no this is not the time to experiment with treatments. Malleus does so, just because you seemed really adamant, and it’s a good thing. The nurse is nervous with both Lilia and Malleus in the room, but eventually manages to figure out how to take care of you, and even noting that the stuff served in the cafeteria is best for your recovery. Once Lilia knows Malleus has it handled, he leaves. Malleus is doing everything the nurse says, with a little flourish of magic, to make you get better faster. He’s pretty good at reading you as well, so if you move slightly he’s already fluffing your pillow to make it more comfortable, and asking if you’d like more water. He can be very doting normally, and it only increases once you’re sick.
Malleus is going to be relieved, but also not trusting that you’re totally better. Be expecting him to take care of you for a solid week after you’re better, visiting you after classes and bringing you meals, as well as checking your temperature the entire time. It’s not that he doesn’t trust your word, he just doesn’t trust the nurse having the best treatment plan. If he could have it his way, he would’ve brought you to Briar Valley to have one of the doctors there check you over.
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Lilia Vanrouge
Lilia had just decided on a whim to visit your dorm the previous night, wanting to see what you were up to. When he found you curled up in bed shaking, clearly still asleep and unaware of your current condition, he decided to just stick around until the morning. After Grim leaves for school, he makes his grand appearance and is asking you what’s wrong. He’s not as concerned as he should be, since he’s seen Silver like this many times and his son has always made a full recovery. Still, he is a little upset to see you in such a state.
He’s not the best, at all, but he kind of knows what to do. He’s taken care of Silver while he’s sick so he assumes he knows what he’s doing…he doesn’t. If you had a fae illness, he'd be perfect. He could treat that almost as well as a normal doctor. A human illness though…well he’s less experienced in that. Still, he’s going to try and do his best before calling the nurse to get whatever medications he needs to hand you. At least he’s willing to call in help once he figures out he doesn’t know how to make you better.
He’s pretty attentive, if not a little teasing while he takes care of you. Again, he knows you’re not dying so he can have a little fun with it. He will try to put some medicine on a spoon and pretend to be a bird as he brings it to your mouth. Show him the most unimpressed look and he’ll break out into a fit of giggles. Just make sure when it comes to meal times, you request being brought something from the cafeteria, letting Lilia know that his seasonings would be too much on your stomach right now. He agrees and brings you proper food, even if he really wants to add something to it.
He’s going to be over the moon when you’re all better, telling you how happy he is and asking if you want to do something fun now. There’s no resting time after being sick, he’s been so good the past few days waiting for you to be better, that now you need to go and do something with him. He’ll be happy if you agree to sit with him in his dorm room and play a few rounds of a video game though. He’s just happy to have you back honestly.
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Silver
He’s another one who finds out through Sebek. He’s half asleep when Sebek begins shouting about how you’re missing and Grim is causing havoc and how he won’t stand for it. Silver only hears you’re missing and after asking he finds out you’re sick. He knows just how bad it can be, being sick with nobody to take care of you. Most of the time Lilia didn’t even realize Silver was sick growing up, so he was on his own. This is going to prompt him to go ahead and check in with you.
Silver is actually pretty good at figuring out what to do while you’re sick. Since he normally took care of himself growing up (even if half the time it was sleeping it off) he at least knew the basics. When he noticed you had  a fever he was looking for things to help with it, alongside something for your cough and stomach. In no time he had all the things he needed to take care of you, and was able to do it without much of an issue. Good news for you, he is very quiet while he speaks to you, so you don’t need to worry about his presence causing you more of a headache.
He’s not perfect at it, but he tries to keep a good schedule up to make sure you’ll be okay. He can cook you something to eat as well, that tastes pretty okay so he doesn’t need to worry about running to the cafeteria before it closes. For the most part though, you both are asleep. In fact, sometimes you need to nudge him awake to grab your medicine, which he will sleepily do and mumble something about being sorry about falling asleep like that.
He’s relieved to know you’re all better and that he managed to help you, but he’s exhausted afterwards. Let him crash at your place and possibly also check in on him to make sure he didn’t catch whatever you had going on. Once he’s awake he’ll just smile and say he’s grateful you’re feeling better, but he needs to get going since you’re both behind on school work. He doesn’t need anything in return for helping you, but if he ever does get sick it wouldn’t hurt to help him out. He was good to you, so returning that favor is needed…especially since Lilia might not even notice Silver is sick…again.
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Sebek Zigvolt
He’s going to notice right away once he sees Grim by himself, doing whatever he wants. He’s going to say the only reason he’s going to check in on you is because the sooner you’re better, the sooner you can control Grim. After all, Grim being crazy can disturb Malleus and cause distractions, and he would be a horrible retainer if he allowed that to happen. Nobody but Lilia and Silver would comment about how he was more fidgety the moment he found out, and how he bit down on his bottom lip, gnawing it with worry for you.
Sadly he’s another one who’s totally hopeless when it comes to taking care of someone else. More or less…it’s a bit disastrous. He’s too loud and causes headaches by accident, and he hasn’t the faintest idea on human illnesses despite being half human himself. Normally when he got sick, nobody knew if it was a fae or human illness, so he was treated for both. Which doesn’t bode well for you since he’s going to use that to try and treat you initially.
Once he realizes his efforts aren’t making you better, he’s going to call Silver to help out. He doesn't want to bother Lilia for something like this, and Silver is the only human he likes other than you. Thankfully Silver explains what to do and Sebek will do so, but stumbles a bit. At least you’ll slowly be getting better, and he’s not an idiot and will make sure you’re eating good food. He’s determined to make you better, and eventually he forgets all about the horrible excuse he told others, letting his worry take over for you. After letting him know his voice is a bit too loud, he’s going to quiet down for you. 
He’s relieved to know you’re better and for a while he’s significantly less tense, and everyone notices. Lilia is going to be teasing him about it, making poor Sebek go bright red since he’s been outed for caring about a lowly human. When you thank him, he’ll go back to the lie he told everyone else about wanting Grim to be properly handled, but the red on his cheeks is persistent enough to let you know that it’s a horribly fabricated lie…though you would’ve been able to tell either way.
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It has to happen because you made the rules
Hi babyyyy
I hope you’re not procrastinating
I feel like you are
Lemme tell you this then
STOP PROCRASTINATING STOP BEING LAZY
Dude you’re literally just laying down
How much lazier could getting in the void state get?
You’re “trying”
You’re asking “how”
There’s only so many “how’s” before you realize
There’s no more information to pile up
How about you just lay down
Forget everything your desires included
Just chill
My baby you’re too cute to be stressed
Stop doing that
Yo you don’t get this stressed to go to sleep do you?
I’m confused
So you can say dream
Sleep
Disassociate
Fantasize etc
You mean to tell me you can do ALL THESE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR 3D
But you can’t get in the void?
Yeah that’s right
You can’t
Why?
Cuz you assumed it
This is your life bitch
So why are you fighting against yourself?
You’re the one who discovered this
You’re the one who has been here since the beginning of YOUR time(birth)
You’re the one who’s gonna be in YOUR life forever
And YOU discovered the void and LOA
So if anything
Your self concept should be sky high
Cuz you’re that bitch
And you’ll always be
Nobody is above you
We are all baddies
We are all god
We are all powerful
All you’re doing
Is what I always tell you
On my other posts
Lay down
Use a method or don’t
It’s up to you
Use a subliminal or don’t
Your choice
But vibe
Literally don’t even think of your desires and don’t think of the void as a place
It’s not a place
It’s an experience
You dream
Not a place but an experience
Everything you’re doing
Even right now is an experience
Your home is a place
But you living in it and doing things in it
Is experiencing it
Experience is not equivalent to a place because places like homes restaurants etc are just places
Experiences would be whatever happens IN those places but it’s got nothing to do with the buildings
It’s what YOU are doing that creates the experience you had/have
It’s the energy that you have your awareness
Like you could see a house
Cool
By creating memories IN that house
You experienced living in it
That creates such experiences
I know it sounds confusing but let me break it down
The void is not a place
It’s an experience
Because when you’re openly willing to experience something you’re unconsciously giving yourself freedom and power and control to do that thing
Like I said
OPENLY experiencing
Because I know we all “experienced”(I’m tired of using this word now lol) some things that weren’t good
But guess what
You still hold the power to change those “experiences”
The void is inside of you
You can’t “go” there
You become aware of it and you experience it
It’s not a house
It’s not the bakery
It’s you
Your desires were yours the moment you said that you wanted it so there’s no need to worry or constantly try to get in the void only to get your desires if that’s your only goal
You’re cooked
Because why as a god
Are you so desperate to get your desires?
Chill bro
Your subconscious knows you better than you do
Because it developed way faster than you it makes up 95% of our brain power
You come out the womb already knowing how to cry
How to blink
Etc
Yes you eventually learn to walk crawl etc
Why
Because it was embedded into your subconscious mind in how to do that
You can still walk
And you’re how old? Think about it
Your subconscious mind IS THAT powerful it remembers everything you learned as a baby
It remembers things you don’t
Like mastering the void as a newborn
Who knows how many times we’ve probably accidentally gotten in the void as a little baby
I’ve heard stories about people saying they had to get in the void as a CHILD! But they didn’t know what it was
It’s meant to happen
You discovered the void
Not by accident
Although we can all enter everyday me in the world is capable what makes you special is that
YOU know you can
Others don’t
You discovered it for a reason
It’s meant to be
Things that are meant for you
A apart of you and it can never be APART from you
The void is kinda like your soulmate
It’s gonna always be there
It’s always been with you
Will always be
And no matter how much you procrastinate complain overcomplicate stress over nothing
You’re still gonna enter the void
Why
Because this was your first experience
You’re a pro at this already
You’ve been unconsciously doing this since your mothers womb
If you do something repeatedly on accident you can do it on purpose
Good day
Much love 🩵🩵
P.S Everyone has different opinions on what the void is
Or how they enter
This is mine only flow with what you resonate with
I love you Good Luck Queens!!!!
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epiphyllous · 4 months
Text
anywhere you go (let me go too)
Word Count: ~1k Pairing: Astarion x Tav Summary: You and Astarion, in the aftermath of the Absolute's defeat, discuss your plans for your futures together. Notes: gender neutral Tav, spawn astarion ending, fluff
-
So, his moment of victory doesn't go unspoiled.
Astarion's skin burns in the sun without the tadpole's influence, and as he flexes his singed fingers in the shadows, he finds more of a settled resignation rather than tumultuous bitterness. It is to be expected, he thinks, to have traded a life in the light for his freedom. He only wished the tadpole would have given him just a little more time, if only to see the aftermath of the Absolute's defeat it in all its glory and the fate of the people he has (begrudgingly) started to call friends.
And to be with you a moment longer in the sun, where you belong. Like always, you appear before him before the shadows begins to overwhelm him.
"There you are."
Astarion looks up from the dark to see your face, relieved and happy all at once. There is a twinge of sadness still on your face and the absence of some of your companions, but Astarion knows you will tell him what has happened in due time.
The two of you have all the time in the world together now-- if that is still what you want at the end of this. He knows that's what he wants for certain.
"Darling," he begins, taking your hand, "I was beginning to get bored waiting for you to find me."
And so it goes that the city begins to rebuild itself-- with or without their help. You try your best to aid the people, helping out Jaheira and the refugees in Rivington. As a result, he does as well when night finally falls. In the bustle of a ruined city and the hope for a better future, it is difficult to find the time, but you and Astarion eventually find a quiet night together where he can finally ask you something he has been wanting to know:
"So, what happens next?"
"Well," you begin, humming in thought, "there's a lot of things we could do. I was thinking we could travel the world together." You look up at him with a smile. "Maybe find a way to let you walk in the sun again."
Astarion feels his breath hitch, voice choked on a hope he never realized you still held for him. "You- you really believe we'll find a cure?"
"I believe in one for Karlach as much as I believe in one for you," you say gently. "And I was thinking we could visit the underdark to make sure your siblings and the spawns were okay too."
"Yes, I was thinking they might need a little bit of guidance," he agrees. He feels giddy-- a delightful feeling full of hope. You recently called him radiant with it, and he wonders if you see the sun in him as he does for you. He gathers your hands into his and holds them tightly. "Though is that what you truly want? All... this?"
"Of course I want to be with you," you say warmly, and his heart-- not beating except when it is for you-- clenches at the love in your voice alone.
"Thank you," he says, and he means it. "But that's not quite what I was referring to."
You blink at him, lightly swinging your hands back and forth absently as you wonder at him. He will never get tired of this, he thinks, of you. When he thinks of being able to spend the next forever with you, he does not think there is anything he wants more. All these plans, of travel, visitation, and adventure-- he knows these are all things he would be delighted to do, with you by his side especially.
But Astarion would like to think he knows you as well as you know him. Adventure has been both your callings, but he knows there is something else that calls out to you-- has always called out to you from the moment he met you.
"Darling, I appreciate the fact that these plans of ours include me. And I know whatever we do, we'll have lots of fun." He continues, "But I wonder if that is what you want to do. With me. Are you sure there is nothing else you want?"
Astarion watches as your cheeks color, having been caught red-handed. And he thinks you are rather silly to be so cautious with your desires still, as if he has been nearly as shy with his wants. You are sweet as you are humble, and Astarion must find it in himself to teach you how be selfish.
"I... want to find a place to settle down," you tell him. "Somewhere nice and- not particularly quiet- but smaller than Baldur's Gate, with a house we can live in and make ours and-" You begin to stammer, seemingly embarrassed by how much you've thought about this, a daydream you were never sure will be fulfilled.
"I-I was thinking we could black out the curtains to cover the sun; block the window with a cabinet in the kitchen so you wouldn't be afraid of walking in the house during the day," you continue, and he listens to you rattle off hours of daydreams of a domestic life with him-- something he has never considered anyone would want with him. "We would befriend the neighbors and go out into the city during the night. And if they don't like you being a vampire," you say, "we can just move someplace else."
"Just like that?" He asks.
"Just like that," you tell him. "I don't want to live in a place where you don't feel welcomed."
"You know," he says, "I never pictured myself as a person who would settle in one place. Although if it's with you... maybe." When he tells you it doesn't matter what happens after as long as he is with you, he means it. Building a home is something unfamiliar-- boring even, to someone who has forgotten what it feels like to have one. He thinks home is with you, no matter where you settle, and if he can give you this-- out of everything in the world-- then he will give you a home to return to.
"Why, darling, these are all fantastic ideas. There's no reason we can't do them all..." Astarion adores the sparkle in your eyes when you dream big, and he finds it impossible to discourage it-- not if he can make it happen. "The only question is: where should we start first?"
"I love you," you suddenly tell him, and Astarion thinks he will never tire of hearing you say that.
He presses his hand against your cheek and watches as you lean into his touch. "And I love you." He clears his throat. "We are rather excellent together, you know. And united, there's nothing we can't do. I can't say what the future holds for us, but I know we'll be facing it together." He smiles. "And we're going to have a lot of fun."
-
("I'll do the planning, just so you know."
"Darling, you thought it would be any other way?")
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faraway-archive · 2 months
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In The Fox's Grasp
Yan!Fox x Immortal GN!Reader
Tw: yandere behavior, smut, mind corruption (being talked about), hints of manipulation
AN; This was made in relation to me making a new character which so happens to be a sly fox, and I made him into a yandere of course. His name is Kaiden, Kai for short.
✧༺♥༻✧
Your boyfriend couldn't help it, he just had to mark you and just take control over your body. It doesn't help that you've accepted to be his forever partner. Forever trap with him until the time ends (which means you and him are forever immortal). Now you're stuck here underneath him as he fucks you senseless. In his mind it seems like both are you are making love to each other, as partners should right? That's how he justifies it in his mind anyways. You would always lose to him and he would always have his way with you. There was nothing that could stop him or prevent him from making you his. No matter the amount of tear, pain or suffering you had to endure from him, he was determined.
His smiles terrify you, it looks so genuine but yet it gives off a controlling vibe. He had tried countless times to charm you and win you over naturally in the human world, but of course that didn't work with you. For whatever reason.
You tried to shake away the thought but it became difficult with his dick in you, phrasing you for taking him so well and making him feel so good. Ashamed at your body betraying you, you covered your face and tried to look away. Although it was hard with him right on top of you as he's just so immerse with your body. You felt so good to him and took him so well, he couldn't help it but keep going even though you are already worn out, while he still has yet to cum.
He chuckles at your attempt to hide yourself from him, even though that wasn't your intentions. It's so cute to see you squirm underneath him and taking his cock in you. He slowly leans to your neck and nibbles at it, making you jump and attempted to push him away. That wasn't going to work and why did you bother trying?
His cock felt so nice inside of you and just took up every inch in your hole. It felt so much better than a toy that's for sure. But you could never get use to his size no matter how many times he has made love to you. You can't get over his muscular hands as he moves them from all over your body, from your neck all the way down to your waist.
He enjoys seeing you go from being disgusted to being in pure lust for him. He loves the control that he has over you, even without his dick. It's so easy for you to submit to him as he knows every spot to make you feel good, like no other man has tried. He loves to hear you scream his name, to either hurry up and stop being slow or to stop being so fast and just hitting the right spots. He enjoys having your legs on his shoulders as he grabs your waist and forcibly fuck you senseless. It's so much for you that your legs began to shake again, you've lost count of how many times he has made you cum and how long it has past. You glance up at him and he makes eye contact with you, giving you a coy smirk as he knows what is about to happen. You shudder at his smirk and could only prepare for the intense pleasure he is going to bring to you.
Soon after that thought he slam right into your hole, tightly grabbing you waist and cums inside of you, meanwhile this isn't your first time cumming. You grab the bedsheets and moan as you arch your back, your legs shake as you slowly come down from the high. Painting heavily again as you try to calm yourself down and felt him slowly lay on top of you. His face in your neck has he takes a deep breath with your scent, he can't help but smile knowing how much control he has. Just a few more times he hopes and you will eventually break, becoming his own little toy to play with for the rest of eternity. Or maybe it would take a long time for you to break, but that doesn't matter to him at all. Because both you and him have the time in the world to do whatever you guys want. He will gladly use it to his advantage.
Sighing he slowly takes his dick out of your hold as you gasp from the sudden coldness. Craving that warm his dick gave you. He stands up and helps you move to the bathroom, to give you aftercare and to sooth any cramps or soreness you may have. He did go a bit harsh this time around compared to other times. That doesn't matter to him though because that means more time for the both of you to be together.
You will be his and he will eventually break your mind. It's only a matter of time before you give into him.
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yooglefics · 26 days
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The casual type: 01 . The blind date
Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader  Wordcount: 2,888 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ?????. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. And fuff for cute friends. Summary: Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However no one really expected things to end the way they did.
Warnings ( for this chapter ): Setting things up for plot purposes. Gridding? Mentions of a boner. Making out.  Author's note: So, I wanted to write some friends with benefits thing, plus a bunch of art kids… and this came out ┐( • ֊ • )┌ . I should note here I took the creative liberty to play around with their ages so everyone is in college at the same time, and if you haven't, you can check the presentation post and learn a little bit more about them. Now let's start, hope you like it! If you do you can reblog, like, comment, send an ask, follow and what not. Thank you for reading <3
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The place is quieter than the last time you were here, you realize, is earlier in the day and the semester just started after all, meaning students are still moving in from their home cities. And although you want to be mad at him, you can't really blame Hoseok's choice of place for a date, instead, you're already thinking of ways to be able to escape the awkwardness of it all.
Of course, he and Mai don't have to worry about that. Is not their first date and considering they're both dance students it actually makes sense for them to be in a club on a friday night. Is their element, unlike yours, who hasn't left their room for the last couple of weeks if it's not to go art-supply shopping and will spend even weekends far away from a place like this.
But you couldn't say no. Not to Hobi. Not after he held you tight that night and didn't pray for an explanation.
He had come up with his own conclusions, though, and that's how you ended here. On a double date with Mai and her friend who you don't even know, so... Yay! Blind date added to the mix of reasons why you already want the night to end.
"You made it!" Mai greats when the both of you get closer to the bar, standing up to hug you first and then her boyfriend. "We ordered something while waiting."
Your friend nods at the explanation, "What do you want?" He asks in your direction and you settle for a fruity cocktail to not look too out of place with everyone else drinking. Mai insists on going with Hobi and he insists you stay, so, a bit awkwardly, you take the stool besides your date.
"Yoongi, by the way." The guy simply introduces himself before taking a sip of his drink.
"Y/n" short, overthinking if bowing is too formal until you decide is too long of a pause and it would only make it more awkward. In the end, a soft smile is your decision.
"They look cute together," you say looking at your friends, trying to break the silence that has fallen between.
"Listen," Yoongi begins, and your head turns to him, "I'm only here because she asked, so if you're expecting something like that, let's just leave."
"Like that?" Brows slightly closer, "a cute relationship?"
"A relationship in general. I don't do those."
"Oh..."
And before you can say anything else, Hobi is placing a glass in front of you, smiling reassuringly. "You'd be okay if I go dance now?"
A pause and then a nod is the answer. Not having any intentions of spoiling their night.
"Don't worry. Yoongi," Mai turns to him, a serious expression on her soft features, "you better take care of her, alright?"
He salutes, earning a smile from the couple and they walk to the dance floor hand in hand. You watch them make some silly moves at first and giggle, but it doesn't take long before they start to follow the beat and match it with their movements.
"I don't want a relationship either," you clarify, tone assertive, still looking at the couple with a smile.
He laughs, "I'm sorry, but that's hard to believe."
"Why?"
"Look at me and tell me you didn't just imagine yourself with someone on that dance floor."
You turn to him, brown eyes inspecting yours, "Well, yes. But that doesn't mean I want it to happen with someone I'm in a relationship with."
Again, he laughs. Clearly not believing you.
"What? People do casual things all the time," you defend, straightening your back and looking away.
"You do 'casual things'?" His eyebrows raise, "all the time?"
"Shut up, you don't know me."
"That's a no," no need to look at him to know there's a smirk playing on his lips.
"Who are you? Some kind of hook up police or something?" You want to take it back as soon as it leaves your mouth, cringing.
"Are you gonna show me your license?" but he is faster.
"Okay, that was more lame than what I said," you laugh. Maybe he is not as grumpy as he seems. And maybe, just maybe, you would be able to enjoy the night after all. 
If he doesn't want a relationship either, then you don't have to deal with rejecting him or being forced to accept a second date just because you're too kind to say no. That's good.
"Yoongi, hey!" A guy calls out and for a split second your date's expression changes to a surprise one before a polite smile takes place on his face. "Oh, hi. Sorry for interrupting, haven't seen him in months."
"Is alright," you play along even when not understanding.
"I guess he has been busy with yo—"
"Jay," Yoongi's tone is serious, like the one he used to say he doesn't do relationships. However, before he can continue or you are able to clarify that you two just meet, Jay is calling someone over.
"Look who I found, love. Yoongi!"
A redhead girl repeats Yoongi's early expression and you wonder two things about Jay. One: if he always has that effect on people. And two: if he is even more clueless than you in this whole situation, since his smile never falls.
"Hi," the redhead says and Yoongi greets back just as plain.
Are you really imagining the awkwardness? Perhaps you were wrong and in the end you should put one of your plans to avoid it into place?
A few seconds of thinking go by, no one says anything and you could swear the tension is filling the air around your new  group.
"Oh, that's the song!" Fake excitement in your voice tricks everyone into looking at you. "I promise, remember? If it comes on, we'll dance."
Yoongi looks confused for a second, but it doesn't take him long to finally understand, "right, the song. Sorry guys, been waiting all night."
Jay dismisses him smiling with a pat on the back, saying something about not breaking promises and Yoongi takes your hand.
Looking around, you try to find your friends, hoping to copy Mai's moves and keep up with the plan even when you're a self proclaimed not dancer. But they aren't in sight and even if you can't really prove it since your back is facing them, you feel like Jay's and the girl's eyes are on you.
Ugh. Why did you use this plan?
Why was this something you even thought about?
When Yoongi stops and positions himself in front of you, you get closer, sliding an arm on top of his shoulders pretending you're positioning yourself to dance, copying the random couple beside you.
"I don't know what I'm doing," you confess in a whisper.
"What do you mean?” He looks for your eyes, hair strain coming out of place when his head lowers a little, "you want to go back and sit down?"
"No, then they would know I lied," you're still trying to figure out why in the first place and don't need the embarrassment too, "but I don't know how to dance."
He chuckles, "here, I'll help." And holds your hips softly, moving them to the beat of the song, matching your movements with his own. "Relax. Don't think too much about it."
"If I don't, how do I know how to move?" It doesn't make sense and is a bit frustrating, honestly.
"Is not a dance competition, or the grant ball, princess. Just do what feels right."
He catches you looking at your feet and brings you closer, eliminating the gap between your bodies completely. "Don't do that," one of his hands travels to the small of your back, keeping you in place.
"Sorry," you say against his neck. Not intentionally, but because of your height difference, there's no other option. In an effort to not be so dependent on him, both your arms move around his neck and you try to move your hips in a way that in the end doesn't match his movements completely, causing you to bum into his front. He makes a sound that you assume is a complaint at your skills and another apology rolls through your lips.
"Turn around," Yoongi commands, applying pressure to one side of your hip.
You comply, confused even when you feel his hands on your waist. "Well, I'm going to assume you been fucked before, miss casual all the time," with his chest against your back, you can feel his laugh. "Open your legs a little," one of his feets kicks gently between yours, fixing your stand. "You want to lead or should I?"
"...You." Is the safest, you decide. Your turn to assume he surpasses your experience at that too.
“Some describe dancing like a good fuck," he explains, hands softly making their way a bit lower to your hips, "because you have to learn your partner. Find a rhythm together." His movements start slow, moving your body with his from side to side, with small circles of the hips.
Your hands fall on top of his, not knowing what else to do with them. They're soft, which for some reason is unexpected.
"I have dancer friends and they never described it like that..."
"Not to you, probably," he laughs and when you stop the movements to throw an angry look his way — because you're pretty sure that's some kind of insult,— he chuckles, before continuing the swaying of your hips. "Calm down, princess. I meant, they probably just weren't teaching you this kind of dance."
And that makes sense. You can't imagine dancing with your friends like this. You can barely believe you're doing it with a stranger.
Your shyness must have shown, because his next question is why did you even choose this song.
"I was trying to help and get you away from whatever that was," you lift your head, eyes away from your feet and the color lights projecting on the floor, and sure enough, behind red bangs, the girl is looking in your direction.
Your hips halt.
Yoongi catches up a bit too late, bumping his pelvis into you.
"What ar—"
"She is looking." Cutting him off, you want to hide as if you were the one caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. So, you try to turn around on his arms but his hold is firm.
A new song starts, the rhythm not much different.
"Help me with another song?"
You try again, this time using your hands on top of his to soften the grip. He gives in. And after a look at his face, you nod.
You can decide if it's sadness or anger that you see, not knowing him well enough to tell — or at all, to be honest — but either way, there's a part of you that can relate. One for each emotion.
Throwing your hair back, letting all black strands fall over your back, your arms go back over his shoulders, this time your chest flush against him a little more than last.
Yoongi says thanks and you kiss his cheek as his hands hold you again. His movements are more determined and even his fingers form dents over the fabric of your dress.
Assuming his demeanor changed only for the specific viewer doesn't sound too crazy, and you want to confirm the theory by looking at his face, see if he is looking behind you at her. Your eyes travel against the direction the few sweat drops over his skin go, and when they reach Yoongi's, he is looking back at you.
Your body stops.
"Fuck" he whispers when the front of his pelvis bumps yours. "You really need to stop doing that."
"Sorry. Told you I can't dance."
He chuckles.
Your bottom lip forms a small pout. "Don't be mean. I'm trying to help you, remember?" And you initiate the movements again, starting to get the hang of it. Kind of.
"You're not much help right now if you keep making me dry hump into you," this time he is the one stopping, making it so you bump into his front and you can feel the outline of his growing erection.
"Yoo—"
"Exactly," he says so matter of fact, "you're the mean one."
Lowering your head, you try to not think too much about it. It doesn't make you want to run away or kick him, but you also don't want to make him feel like kicking you away. You keep repeating to yourself that is normal with this type of dance, that there's probably more than one hard on at the club right now and how you're probably not the only one who is getting we—
Damn it. Just stop thinking about it.
Yoongi stops your body from moving, and when you realize he has been calling your name, you're even more embarrassed by your thoughts.
"I'm sorry. That was too much, I shouldn't have. We can go sit now." His eyes are looking straight at you, letting you know he's being sincere.
"I need some air."
Without even bothering to wait for a confirmation that he is following or not, you make your way to the side door of the club. The autumn breeze hits your skin as soon as you step into the alley, instantly calming your hormones down.
Hands cover your face in shame after reclining on the wall. Can you stop acting like it was the first time you felt a penies? Because even if it hasn't happened in a while, it doesn't mean the score goes back to zero.
"Should I bring Hoseok?" Yoongi asks a few steps in front of you and you jump a little, shaking your head after.
"I'm good. You can go back in."
"I'm not leaving you alone here. Do you want him or Mai to kill me?"
A small chuckle leaves your throat and one from him follows it.
"And you think he wouldn't kill you for—" stop. You can't think about it.
"For dancing like that with you? Probably. But he also set this date up, so..." Out of the corner of your eye you can see him shrug, "can't complain unless you hate me now."
"I don't hate you."
"Is okay if you do."
"It… it just surprised me."
"In a bad or good way?"
"A good one." You answer directly in a strain of honesty.
"So you're not really the casual type, uh?" He teases after a couple seconds of silence.
"Maybe I just don't like doing casual in the middle of the club," you defend.
"I don't know, you were the one that kept humping into me."
Your mouth opens and closes, finally looking at him and his stupid lips pull up in a smirk. You want to erase it so bad.
"Shut up."
"Make me."
And you do.
Skipping forward, right hand flying to the back of his neck to pull him in and you're able to touch his lips with yours.
He is quick to react. Kissing you back, his hands on either side of your waist pulling your body into his. But you're trying to prove a point, to defend yourself. So, you pull away slightly, making sure your lips are just about to touch.
He pulls in.
Allowing just a peck, you move.
You kind of regret not using your cherry lip gloss, because you know for sure that knowing you're so close for him to smell it but not taste it, would be the biggest tease.
You let him lean in again, not moving this time and he sighs. You smile against his lips just before his tongue asks for permission to enter your mouth. Again, you regret your simple choice of a simple red lip tint, but remind yourself that this date wasn't supposed to go like this. That Yoongi doesn't seem like the guy he was supposed to be, not what he was advertised by your friends.
Fighting back control, your left arm joins the other around his neck, moving your lips expertly and feeling his chest rise and fall quickly against yours. Is pretty much the position you were in on the dance floor minus the grinding.
Casual in the middle of the club is not your thing. Casual in general is actually not something you have experience with. But kissing? You've mastered it thanks to your past relationships and the avoidance of jumping into someone's bed right from the start.
A moan vibrates through your lips against Yoongi's, and even if it's part of the routine, you must admit is pretty real. A soft groan is his answer and the cue for your heels to touch the floor again. His hold tightens in reaction, making your dress rise up and covering a couple inches less of your thighs. Suddenly you're aware of the wind again as a breeze runs up your legs, towards the center of your panties.
Your breath caughts on your throat and Yoongi swallows any sounds before pulling away.
"Fuck," he breaths heavily, "we've to stop."
"Why? Are you not really the casual type?" You tease, stealing his line.
The left corner of his mouth lifts, before falling again in a millisecond. "Not with you."
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Should I’ve added “cliffhanger” to the warnings? haha i swear is gonna be okayyyy ♡ Tag list: @n33mesis , @mggv97 , @wobblewobble822 , @bbou-doir , @m00njinnie , @nariee02 , @sexytholland . hope you guys like this one <3
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➪ The squad. | ➪ 02 | ➪ Updates for this verse ➪ Ko-fi | ➪ ♡ Tag list info ➪ Main masterlist. | ➪ Updates in general | ➪ Request & chats
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daemon-in-my-head · 2 months
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I think a prerequisite to understanding Durge and Gortash is understanding the movie Midsommar and its ending. Or rather, how people get lured into cults. It's probably weird to some, but people do incredibly fucked up shit as long as they're lonely enough. As long as they are starved of enough affection.
These guys were completely isolated. One murdered everyone they ever knew without meaning to, only to be snatched up by the person that would manipulate them, and the other one was rejected and discarded by everyone they loved before his brain could even develop properly. They were alone. The entire fucking world rejected them. Nobody batted an eye when they were suffering far beyond what anyone should have to go through. Everyone that mattered to them disappeared in the blink of an eye. At least Gortash certainly spent years like that, for Durge it's implied but tbf the initial event alone would've been traumatic enough.
And then, eventually, when they were at complete rock bottom, after suffering so much, so long, someone came along and offered them acceptance. Offered them affection, offered them the chance to belong somewhere. To have a place to be, a role to play. To be someone. To find people with the same mindset. To find people to admire and to be admired by. They were offered an escape from the overwhelming loneliness and grief. They were offered to be accepted for once.
People will ruin themselves to fit in or to gain the love of another. And they did just that. They blindly ran into the knife because they were promised to belong for once. Because of the simple promise they wouldn't be rejected.
It doesn't rectify what they did, but gods is it understandable that they did what they did. People have done worse for less. They are vile. They're monsters. They're horrible beings. But they were conditioned into it. They were manipulated to such a frightening degree that they willingly chose to follow masters who would torment them even after death, knowing what they were getting into, but still choosing it just to escape the fucking loneliness. They gave themselves up just to belong. They certainly are to blame, but so are the people who's sins they've inherited.
And just to be clear, that's also the major difference between Karlach and Gortash. Karlach initially grew up being somewhere, being accepted, being loved. Yes, she, too, was betrayed and sold, but she was an adult when it happened. She knew love. She knew what it was like. She could rely on that glimmer of a hope that the world didn't outright despise her. Gortash didn't. He was sold as a fucking child. He never knew. He didn't have the resources. He was just fucking desperate and already broken and crushed in ways you could never break Karlach. She had loving parents. Gortash's mother wished she would've killed him before he was even born. Karlach was loved once, Gortash has ever since been told the world would've been a better place if he simply didn't exist.
Also, congratulations, this makes durgetash so much more painful to think about. Cuz they were willing to reject whatever helped them survive for the affection of one another.
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drizztdohurtin · 3 months
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Rolan Headcanons: pining and dating
pairing: Rolan x gn!Reader
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[ masterlist ] [ wip list ]
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This post will be organized into 2 parts: pining and dating (to be fair though, it's more like unofficially dating vs officially dating) - so only read the parts you're interested in! The marriage and domesticity post will follow soon!
includes language alluding to 18+ content, but nothing explicit.
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"Pining"
so I think that your guys' "relationship" would start during the events of act 2 - but nothing would be official
I know a lot of you probably hate the connotation of "situationship" but I'm going to be honest: the word itself fits perfectly
try to get rid of the gross feeling that word leaves in your brain for a second and think about the things you're having to do throughout the events of the game
you are fighting people every! single! day!, you have a fucking tadpole in your brain that could turn you into a mind flayer at the drop of a dime if something were to happen to your guardian, you're eventually tasked with killing three Chosens of their respective Gods, you're navigating the shadow cursed lands and dealing with all the literal freaks that live in it -- you cannot have a real relationship right now !!! it would be the most depressing thing ever !!
It's a bit of a situation for a while, you guys are into each other and have reciprocated some level of feelings for the other, whether it's just lust or it's something deeper (or both), and by the end of act 2 it's just kind of a situation with him
on top of that, you both are hiding it from everyone else
you're also trying to be considerate of Rolan and his life, his safety
being in a relationship with him, making promises to him, would put him in danger - you'd put him in danger
on top of that, he's been working so hard for the apprenticeship he's on his way to the city for, and for so long, too - he needs to focus on that
despite these two major components, you still can't keep away from each other, and eventually, just allow yourselves to indulge in each other just a little bit before going separate ways for the events of act 3
You both take a private moment to say your goodbyes before leaving the inn for good, after having spent multiple tendays getting to know each other and revealing certain feelings
during that moment, he tells you to come find him in the city when you can and he makes you promise not to get yourself killed
you're like "erm 🤨☝ how do I-" and he's like JUST PROMISE ME
So now you really can't die, bc Rolan said so.
my headcanon is that you two are actually quite close, quite bonded by the time act 3 begins
neither of you has said "I love you" to the other at this point, but you both came super close to it on the day you killed Lorroakan after having found Rolan all beaten up
despite everything you'd been through up to that point, you've never been quicker to kill someone than in that moment
after the fight, Rolan pulls you into an intense, yet somehow still gentle hug, and you reciprocate - hoping to the Gods he doesn't have any bruises where you're squeezing him
that moment you're both holding each other, with so many emotions hanging in the air, is when you both nearly say it
except you don't - because there's a deep, unspoken understanding between the two of you that nothing can happen until you both know it's safe
you end up telling your companions that you're done for the day, that they can go do whatever they want, and you'll meet them at the tavern in the morning
(they have put two and two together by now if you haven't told them at this point)
you spend the entire night taking care of him and making him feel better (take that however you'd like)
leading up to the final fight, there'd be a moment between the two of you when he timidly asks you if you'll come to him after you beat the Absolute
when you remind him your chances of survival are small, he tells you again that you're not allowed to get yourself killed
the moment is cute but it's also terribly sad - but you still promise him you'll return to him when it's all over
and when the time comes, that's exactly what happens
he was at home in the tower, he had been pacing the entire time waiting for your arrival - first aid equipment and healing potions on the desk in case you needed them
he'd been drinking too, as proven by the empty bottle of wine next to all the healing supplies
when you entered the room, horribly bruised and bloodied, he makes a noise that perfectly reflects the level of relief he feels - something between a shocked gasp and a relieved sigh
"my love" he'd call to you breathlessly, not even hesitating to bring you into his arms despite how dirty you were
the two of you are immediately on the same page, holding each other impossibly close, kissing deeper than you ever have before
he buries his face in your neck with another "my love" before telling you how relieved he is that you're alive
"I love you" finally comes out that night
he'd have you rinse off briefly as he ran a hot bath for you, adding lavender oils to soothe your mind, and mineral salts to soothe your body
he'd get in with you, place you on his lap facing him, and just hold you as you told him about the horrors of the fight
you'd tell him how you couldn't believe it was over, that a part of you was terrified that something else would come up and you'd have to jump back into action and that it'd never end
he'd reassure you that there was nothing else to worry about, promising it was all over as he ran his hands soothingly over your body, feeling all of your scars under his fingertips and palms - thinking about everything you'd been through, everything you'd sacrificed
an icy twang of guilt pierces through him when his fingers graze over the scar you got in the fight to save his siblings, and he shudders before pulling you in as close as possible
He'd tell you, in the most sincere voice you had ever heard from him, that he loves you - your whole body flushing with warmth at his confession
you'd told him earlier how you didn't really have anywhere to go now that this was all over and you'd have to find somewhere to live
he'd just kind of brush it off, saying you could stay at the tower as long as you needed to
it wouldn't be until later that night once you were tangled up together in bed that he'd tell you not to look for somewhere to stay
He'd tell you to stay with him, that he wanted to go to sleep next to you every night and wake up by your side every morning
He'd tell you again that he loves you before finally expressing how honored he'd be to call you his
over 700 words later, you guys are finally official LDFLDFJD
Dating:
you take him up on his offer, obviously, and you move in with him right after the events of the game
Turns out Rolan had told Lia and Cal about the two of you, and his feelings for you, that night you fought the Absolute and he was stuck at home worried about you
His siblings had come into the room he was in to ask where to find something, only to find an extremely anxious Rolan
He wouldn't have much patience with them, bursting out in a ramble upon the first question they ask him - exposing his feelings for you and all of the moments he'd shared with you up to that point, and how now the person he loved could very well die
They were like "well yeah okay we knew you had a thing for them but love?!?!"
That's why they weren't surprised to see you there the next morning - they really liked you so they were quite happy, actually
there was a little bit of a learning curve in your guys' relationship at first
you'd only ever known each other during the most stressful parts of your lives
so now that your lives were far less stressful, you almost didn't know how to handle it - but Rolan was incredibly understanding and patient with you
it was like you weren't processing what you needed to, and your body was still in "go, go, go" mode
Initially, you kept yourself busy by helping Rolan with his tasks around the tower - it was easy for you to get lost in the tedious work of cataloging and organizing all of the books and scrolls
As much as Rolan loved spending time with you and the interest you were expressing in his work, he worried about you.. a lot
He'd eventually ask you if you had an interest in venturing out more into the city as he'd been worried about how secluded you'd become (he was gently trying to get you back into society)
You both had compromised that whenever he was doing tasks around the tower you'd be allowed to help him, but when he was doing "master of the tower" things, you'd go into the city to visit the markets or something similar
Upon returning home on one of the days you had to go out into the city while he worked, you were immediately greeted with a loving hug and kiss from Rolan before he led you to the dining room
There on the table was your favorite meal from home, something you hadn't had since you were a child, something you'd only told Rolan about once
You were breaking down before you even picked up your silverware, and Rolan was by your side in the blink of an eye
That was the night you finally began to process what had happened to you, and he was there for you through every second of it
I didn't mean to get lowkey sad wth, anyways
Rolan can cook!
He loves to cook for you, he will literally make anything you want
He'd cook for you on the same night each week, but he always wished he could do it more often, he looks forward to it every day
Each time is like a little date - and you have such lovely conversations on those nights, it's probably his favorite thing to do with you
Other honorable mentions for Rolan's favorite things to do with you include reading to you in bed while you're curled up to him, and taking relaxing baths with you (and other things with you, but I already made a post about that)
Rolan is very much husband-material
While you're dating, you talk about your future together quite a lot, and he really appreciates the moments you open up and let him know where your head is at
he's already decided that he wants to marry you by the time the 6-month reunion party with your companions comes around
and depending on your opinions about it, he'd marry you as soon as he could
and when the time was right, Rolan would propose to you
He knows you very well, so he wouldn't make it a grand occasion if that's something that you wouldn't like (but he absolutely would if it was)
regardless of the scale of his proposal, it would be exceedingly romantic - he's the type to have the whole thing planned out, word for word
he's not even that nervous about it beforehand since it would've been something you both discussed - he didn't have to worry about you saying no
instead, most of his thoughts were taken up by his excitement to finally be asking you
In the moment you say yes, he's practically already thinking about what he's going to cook for you on your 10th wedding anniversary
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wooahaes · 3 months
Text
taste test
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pairing: non-idol!jun x gn!reader
prompt: soulmate au series. 11/13
word count: 3.9k~
warnings: major food mentions throughout the entire fic!! mentions of reader being impulsive at some points.
daisy’s notes: i love when i get to write jun just being a sweetie btw
summary: Jun has grown accustomed to the way his soulmate eats. He hopes they don’t hate him for the way he snacks and sneaks bites of his cooking, or for the way he experiments in the kitchen sometime. But running a restaurant means he’s constantly evolving the menu… So if it leads the two of you together, then that’s good, right?
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Jun turned ten years old and was… upset, to say the least, that he didn’t have a soulmate. His mother had smoothed his hair back gently and told him not to worry. If he didn’t have a soulmate, it would change nothing about him. He was still the smart little guy she had raised so lovingly, and it took nothing away from his worth. And if he did have a soulmate, then hopefully he would find them one day if so he chose. She supported him wholeheartedly, and Jun would look back on the memory with nothing but undying love for his mother for handling the situation so well. Of course, it took a few days for Jun to realize that the flavors he kept tasting on the back of his tongue were more than just cravings and his imagination… but that didn’t change the gentle comfort his mother had given him. She’d held his hand at the doctor, too, and throughout the tests to make sure that all was well with him.
His doctor had straightened up the papers on his desk—results of said tests, no doubt—and looked at Jun’s mother. “It’s the most common sign,” he said, and relief crossed her face immediately. “But it still happens.”
His mom had questions. Jun just focused on the lemon-flavored lollipop he’d been given, mind wandering a bit. Apparently, it was common enough for doctors to hand them out to kids to soften the blow of whatever came next in visits like this. Soulmates were normal enough, but Jun knew as much as his mother that some people had… less ideal soulmate marks. One of his classmates felt her soulmate’s pain (sometimes so bad that she cried, the feeling so new to someone with only so many years of life lived). One of his teacher’s had yet to meet her soulmate at the beginning of the year, only for sparks to literally fly when she ran into a new member of staff an hour later. None of his classmates had been hurt by the slight shock, but Jun couldn’t imagine having a mark like that—even if his teacher swore that it just felt soothing. Adults lied to kids all the time just to put on a brave face, after all.
It’d been a lie to say that Jun’s sign had no influence on him and his life. He had learned to cook alongside his mother and step-father so that he could take care of himself in the future, yes… but it did help him when he was trying to figure out what his soulmate was eating. His taste buds matured more and more with age, and eventually he liked to think he had a pretty solid understanding of what his soulmate was eating. He could pick out the sweetness of vanilla ice cream on apple pie, the buttery crust and cinnamon and ginger and nutmeg pointing him in the right direction. He knew the umami of different meats and the savory sauces they were cooked in. He had to adapt sometimes based on what he had available… but Jun would meet those cravings he felt, just to understand his soulmate a little better. Not that anyone complained when he did: his family adored his cooking, his friends loved a free meal, and his coworkers weren’t going to turn down leftover cookies and whatnot when he brought them in during his work study job in college. What was the point in making so much food if he couldn’t ensure the people he cared for were well fed?
That was what led him to dropping out of one school (sorry, dreams of being an actor) and pursuing culinary school in the end. He went through years of long hours and endless studying just to end up where he was now: standing in front of an empty building, arms folded across his chest. A few of his friends stood there with him, admiring the place he was officially renting out. It had taken a while to save up and get approved for loans and square away all of the business side of things (and even still, he had orders to make and so, so much more work ahead of him)... But holding the keys in his hand made it all real. 
This was step one of many for finding his place. And if it led his soulmate to him, then he would be happy.
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Everything was wrong, and Jun couldn’t figure out what the problem was.
The restaurant was doing well, thankfully. He wasn’t in the red, although business could be better. People liked having authentic Chinese cuisine, and Jun was more than happy to provide it and share more of his heritage… and occasionally pack a takeout container a little more full for the college student who looked on the edge of a breakdown. But the restaurant could be doing better, making more money, and that meant he needed to make adjustments. He’d gone over survey cards, trying to figure out what needed to be fixed, and that was what led him to now. He’d been cooped up in his apartment for days now, trying to perfect a dish from his childhood that he couldn’t get right. Mingyu was sitting at the counter, muttering something to Minghao as the two (alongside Seokmin) tried to figure out what element was missing from it all. Seokmin suggested something sweet, but Jun had shot it down when Seokmin suggested a little more sugar: he’d already tried adjusting the amount, sorry. He’d even tried brown sugar, honey, and plenty of other alternatives, just to see if maybe he’d been going in the wrong direction.
One of his arms was draped over his eyes as he laid across the couch. What was missing…? He could call his mom, but part of him wanted to figure it out for himself. The answer was right there on the tip of his tongue, his lips almost tingling in the strangest way.
“It feels like it should be obvious,” Seokmin sighed, toying with the bracelet around his wrist. “Shouldn’t it be?”
It was. It had to be. That was why it was so infuriating. Jun turned over with another sigh, shutting his eyes. It was as if the answer was burning within him now, yet still out of reach. 
“Maybe it isn’t sweet,” Mingyu picked up another piece of chicken, holding it up to the light for a moment, as though it’d give him the answer. “It’s already sweet as it is… I don’t think making it sweeter would help.”
That burning had traveled to the back of his tongue now, and he jerked up. Wait a second. What the hell was his soulmate eating? He knit his brow together, frowning. This wasn’t the time for them to be messing around with some spice challenge—and judging by the cold, mild taste that subdued that heat, that must have been what they were doing. Yet once the taste of milk had disappeared, the burning was already back. What the hell was his soulmate doing? That mild taste washed over his tongue again after a moment, only to be followed again by a heat that nearly made his eyes water.
Jun tore off of the couch, immediately rushing to the cabinets. That cooling sensation hit him again, and the burning never came back, but Jun could see great, big neon signs when they were right in front of him. He’d added a little to begin with, but maybe…
“Jun?” Minghao watched as Jun pulled a container from the cabinet, making his way over to the pot. “What are you?”
He mixed in more red pepper flakes, far more than he’d done the first time. “It’s not spicy enough.”
Seokmin blinked in confusion, looking from Jun to the other two friends present. “I thought it wasn’t supposed to be that spicy.” 
“It’s still supposed to have a kick,” Minghao said, sniffling. Of course Minghao wouldn’t have caught it: the poor guy was still recovering from a cold. “Jun, I thought you—”
Jun tested the sauce, shutting his eyes… and there it was. How the hell did you…? Maybe you were like him and understood food, too. Or maybe you remembered the previous times he’d eaten this dish and realized it wasn’t burning your mouth enough. The only real question that remained was what the hell did you decide to eat? He paused, wondering if you were out there, eating raw peppers or squirting hot sauce into your mouth just to send him a sign. He paused, looking down at the bottle of red pepper flakes. Now that he was thinking about it, the taste was exactly what he was looking for—
No. You didn’t. No. He looked up, brows raising as he processed this new theory. Some people could handle red peppers well, but apparently you couldn’t (at least not raw) considering you had to douse the capsaicin with milk or something quickly to try and spare yourself that pain. All of it was just to send him this signal that something was missing and you knew what it was. He found himself smiling. He hadn’t even met you yet, and already he was a little endeared to you.
He returned the favor to you later, though. The cravings hit him in that weird way that made him feel like you were taste testing, and Jun didn’t think twice before shoving half a lemon into his mouth. He’d recognize the dish you were making later, but he didn’t care about the weird looks that the others had given him. Minghao, who knew the deal, had given him this look that was a mix of understanding and downright disgust. 
Seungcheol had sighed, getting up from the table. “You’re so weird,” he said, making his way to the kitchen to get the other lemons. “Those were supposed to be a palate cleanser…”
He’d apologized profusely afterward, not realizing that people had paid him any attention, but he hoped you appreciated his help. Maybe he couldn’t help you directly in the way he’d begun yearning to… but he was fine with making a fool of himself like this to help you in return. After all, that’s what a soulmate was for… Right?
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“Jun.”
So maybe it was another one of those nights. And maybe Jun messaged the group chat to see who wanted to come with him to get ice cream this late. What was so wrong with that? Soonyoung sat across from him, a cup of sorbet in front of him that he kept pushing around with a pink plastic spoon. Jihoon’s lips were closed around a bright blue one, his frozen yogurt melting in its cup as he watched Jun carefully. And Wonwoo sat beside him, phone in one hand as he held a cone in the other. Jun had carefully picked out every single part of the little sundae that sat in front of him now: the flavor from the back of his tongue, the toppings what he thought you were out there eating on your own sundae… Was this your favorite? Or was it just what you wanted today? He recognized some of the flavors from past times, and yet today the craving was strong enough to drag him out of bed.
“Hm?” A bright green spoon hung from his own mouth, and all he could taste was plastic now. His mind had wandered a bit too much again, but… that was normal when he had his soulmate on his mind. All he wanted to do was meet you and know you. “Yes?”
“You’re thinking about them again,” Wonwoo said in a low, calming voice. There was no accusation in it, no teasing jab at him for getting caught up in silly, sappy thoughts again. Not that his friends teased him for it often—they did, but their teasing was usually saved for Mingyu and Chan and Seungcheol. “Is something on your mind?”
There it was. That’s what they’d all been wondering, after all: the concern was written on their faces, plain as day. Jun pulled the spoon from his mouth, “I’m okay. Just… thinking.” 
“About?” Soonyoung’s foot nudged against Jun’s in an attempt to prod more information from him. “You can share if you’d like.” 
He pressed his lips together, trying to figure out where to start. He had a lot of thoughts about you—the same as anyone would, right? He knew that you most likely wondered about who he was as a person. “I hope they’re kind.” 
No one said anything yet, just to give him more space to speak as he processed his thoughts.
“I think… I used to have all of these ideas for what I wanted in a person. I wanted them to look a certain way, to act a certain way…” He trailed off. “And… I think now I can’t help but think that all I want is someone I can be happy with. Someone who accepts me for me.” He scooped another bit of his ice cream up, pausing for a moment before eating it. “Someone who I can accept, too.” 
“You will,” Jihoon spoke up immediately. “Accept them. I think… I think you’ll be happy with them.” 
Soonyoung’s eyes crinkled in delight, “They’ve burned their taste buds for you before. I think they’ll be perfect for you.”
It earned a warm chuckle from Jun, smiling to himself again. He always found himself smiling when you were on his mind, and he hadn’t even met you yet. How was he supposed to go through his days when he did meet you? The same way the others did after meeting their soulmates, he assumed. Was it strange to wonder if you were like him? A little odd at times, but warm and caring and silly?
“He’s gone,” Wonwoo gently teased, smiling to himself. His phone lit up a second later from my love and Wonwoo, too, was gone with that bashful look on his face. Wonwoo had never been the kind of person who yelled his love from rooftops, but showed it in the way his eyes always seemed to sparkle a little more, heart fluttering smiles and rosy cheeks to define it. 
“You are, too,” Jihoon chuckled. Yet it was Jihoon who quietly loved his soulmate, too, always mindful of their limits in the way they were mindful of him and his limits. Jun had seen them interact a few times, and he saw the way he’d wordlessly take his soulmate’s hand when the crowds were thicker, and didn’t let go when they were through it. Little displays of affection that he’d never comment on, just to spare Jihoon the embarrassment of being called out for it.
Jun watched Soonyoung for a moment, just to be aware of him. Soulmate talk went fine with him most of the time, but everyone knew that Soonyoung (just as Seokmin did) had his moments of insecurity with his own lack of a sign. Yet he was smiling to himself, and immediately jumped to teasing Jihoon for something that he’d said about his soulmate not long ago. It turned the latter’s cheeks bright red as he complained, waving him off. So what if he liked his soulmate? That’s what they were there for, right? They were supposed to be someone that he liked. And yet Wonwoo had chuckled, joining in on the teasing as well.
Jun just smiled to himself, savoring the sweetness of the moment and the ice cream.
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For the most part, being friends with Jun meant they had special privileges. When Seungcheol asked if they could all meet up close to closing so he could share some special news (with the promise that at least he would help close up for the night), Jun had agreed easily enough. Not everyone could make it, but Jun carried out a tray of dishes to set in front of those present. Seungcheol had been talking about how different his life felt now that he could see color, no longer relying on which light was lit for traffic lights or asking people for the right color apple. He'd pulled over a chair, breaking into a pair of chopsticks so he could reach out and snag a dumpling while he took a few minutes to rest.
"Also... All of you are terrible!" Seungcheol huffed. "I told Seungkwan first and he immediately started sending me pictures of myself in ugly outfits you all swore went together!"
It earned a snort from Jeonghan, who'd been busy typing something out on his phone. "We didn't do it all the time, you know."
Seokmin was staring at his watch the entire time, and Jun reached out, fingers brushing his bicep. "Are you okay?"
"Just waiting for something," he said. Then he looked up, the realization dawning on him as he shook his head. "Sorry! Sorry, I'm fine. Just..." He looked at the door again. "Waiting."
Seungcheol changed the topic away from the outfits he was debating with Joshua (no, he did not like that neon shirt, thank you), "We're going out on Tuesday, actually. I think you guys will like them..."
Jun smiled to himself. It was nice seeing Seungcheol so at ease. The idea of never meeting his soulmate had been weighing on him for a while now, and even more-so since everyone else seemed to be finding their soulmate over the past year. Before he could join the conversation, he saw Seokmin getting up and heading toward the computer right as the door opened, a little bell jingling. Jun excused himself from the group as Seungcheol continued on about his soulmate, making his way over to the counter.
"Sorry," the customer had said, and Jun had slid the menu across to you without much thought. "My friend, Minho, came here with a couple friends and said you might be able to help?"
Jun just blinked in confusion. "I'm sorry. With...?"
"My soulmate had this dish a few days ago," you rested your hands on the counter, "and I've managed to narrow it down based on a lot of Googling. But there's a couple things I'm not sure about, but Minho said what I kept describing sounded like Chinese food, and--"
Jun waved a hand. "I understand," he said. "I have the same sign."
You sighed in relief. "Good. It's not the rarest sign, but people don't always get it since it’s still uncommon, y'know? Your soulmate must be lucky, though," you drummed your fingers against the counter. "Also... Sorry about coming in this late. I saw you're closing in an hour, and—”
Jun stopped you there. "It's okay," he insisted. "It's what I'm here for. Just tell me what--"
"Jun," Seokmin called out, looking up from the monitor. "There's a request for takeout. I'm gonna confirm it, alright?"
Jun waved him on, and turned back to you. "Sorry. The food...?"
You'd started to rattle off what you'd tasted days ago, saying something about how the craving never fully left you. Jun helped square you away, telling you to sit wherever you'd like and he'd have your food out as soon as he could. He made his way to the computer where Seokmin stood, brows knit tightly together.
"Is everything okay?" He asked, keeping his voice low. "You seem... different."
Seokmin shook his head. "The ticket's on the line," he kept his eyes glued to the screen. "Just... thought I recognized the name."
Jun shrugged it off and went to work, Mingyu having already made his way back into the kitchen to help. Soon enough, several orders have been made and plated. Mingyu walked away, making his way to greet you while Jun uncapped a sharpie with his teeth. Seokmin watched as Jun drew a little cat onto the corner of one of the lids, and then a little flower next to it.
"Someone else could pick up the order," Jun said after capping the marker again. "If you don't want to go."
"No!" Seokmin paused, waving a hand. "I mean--The money is good, and my bike is outside. I'll try to be back to help clean up." He tied the bag after throwing in a few utensils and fortune cookies, pausing before he turned away. "Jun?"
He looked up from where he was tidying things up behind the counter. "Hm?"
Seokmin went to speak, and then turned, gazing at where you sat alone. He shook his head, turning back to Jun. "Actually... Don't worry about it."
Jun was definitely going to call Seokmin in the morning if he didn't make it back before they all left. He watched as he made his way out of the restaurant, waving to the others before going out for a late night delivery, and Jun sighed. Maybe he was having an off day. He'd mention it to Minghao if nothing else, and maybe he'd check on him tonight. He turned, grabbing a rag on his way back into the kitchen so that he could start cleaning up again, only to catch himself freezing once he recognized something.
That blend of spices. The sauce on your meal. He turned, staring at you as he watched you eat in peace. You. He dropped the rag, body moving on its own as if you were a magnet drawing him in. He slowed to a stop, unsure of what to say. You looked up, confused for a moment.
"I think..." His voice came out hoarse and quiet, and he cleared his throat. "I... I was perfecting this recipe a few days ago."
You stared at him. "Huh?"
"This is—This is the improved version," he said, hands curling around the back of an empty chair. Just say it, a voice in his head said. All he needed to say were those three words, and yet they felt lodged in his throat.
"You're...?" You dropped your chopsticks with a gasp, standing up. "You?!"
Jun didn't know whether to be hurt by that or not. "Would you rather I not be—”
"I have eaten so many stupid things for you!" You said, loud enough to get the attention of Jun's friends. "And--And you kept eating stupid things for me when I couldn't get the recipe right!"
He laughed. "I know—"
"Oh my god," you said. "No wonder you were always right. I mean, sometimes it didn't really help because I didn't have the ingredients, but—but you still tried!" You'd laughed, warm and vibrant. "Oh my god—I'm sorry, I just—No wonder you knew what I was talking about."
Jun caught a glimpse of his friends all silently watching, and he waved them off. "I..." His face was burning, and he started patting himself down to find his phone. "I really don't want to talk more in front of my friends."
You glanced over to them, and then nodded. "Yeah! Yeah, sorry, I just—I really should have come with Minho that time, huh?"
"Maybe..." He'd plucked his phone from his back pocket. "I could buy you dinner? If you want—”
"I'd like that," you said, accepting his phone. You punched in your number before adding a little heart emoji by your name. "Now I can go straight to the source for my cravings."
He laughed softly again, holding his phone closer to his chest. "Whatever you want," he said. "Just say the word."
With a smile from you, Jun felt his world change entirely. "I'll hold you to that, chef."
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taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo
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