#i just hope the next chapters clears up all my confusion about his character because he’s just so contradictory | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blue-slxt · 1 year

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Our Song Cord: Like I've Never Seen The Sky Before

(Chapter 6)

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: We've made it to the end! Thank you to everybody that's shown me support on this series! It's been a crazy ride since this is my longest story to date, but I'm happy with how it turned out. There's lots of baby fluff because I think it's cute. I hope you all enjoy it too. This is also very lightly proofread, so if you see any mistakes, no you didn't. Every chapter title is a reference to a song, so if you know the song, you get a cookie. I really really appreciate feedback so comments and reblogs are encouraged! All characters are aged up.

Series Masterlist

Previous Part

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Lots of Baby Fluff, Soft Domestic Neteyam, Smut, P in V, Mentions of Breeding, Mentions of Knotting, Oral (F receiving), Fingering, Making Out, Scenting, Mentions of Pregnancy, I think that's it

Word Count: 7.1k

Summary: Neteyam confronts you about your child and it changes both of your lives.

You gently lay Veyä on the soft mat trying to be careful to not wake her. She fusses a bit at the loss of contact with your warm skin, but quickly settles back down and you wait for her breathing to even out. Once you feel like you’re in the clear, you breathe out a big, but silent, breath of relief. You find yourself just sitting and staring at her little sleeping face. Her small ears flick wildly in her sleep and it makes you smile fondly.

Just as you stand to prepare yourself to sleep, the cover to your home flips open. It startles you a bit, but you relax when you see Neteyam standing there.

“Neteyam? What are you doing here?” you ask more than a little confused.

He’s silent as he looks at you. He slowly approaches you and you’re not sure if you should back away or not. When he gets close enough, Neteyam can notice the subtle changes in your face. How much rounder your cheeks look and the small bags under your eyes that you no doubt got from so many sleepless nights during and after your pregnancy. He stands there examining your face for a moment before his eyes fall to your baby who lay there sleeping next to you. There was no denying what he knew. If he had any doubt before, there definitely was none now. Neteyam falls to his knees beside Veyä and he watches the small rise and fall of her chest.

“Neteyam, what—” “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” his voice is low and even. Your whole body stiffens at his question. Your mind wants to shoot off your usual denial that you had become so accustomed to, but when Neteyam looks up at you and you see the tears filling his eyes, you know that he knows. There’s no more hiding.

“…I-I…didn’t know how to tell you…” you finally admit and it feels like letting go of a breath that you’ve been holding for months. The tears fall quick and steady down your face.

Neteyam rises to stand in front of you. He cautiously reaches one hand out to hold yours and when you don’t pull away from him, he steps closer. He brushes away your tears with his free hand and holds your face.

“You should have said something to me. I would have been there. You know I would have.”

“I was afraid, Teyam. You were supposed to be mating with someone else and I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I didn’t want to jeopardize the future of the clan. And—”

“Hey hey hey, look at me. It’s over with me and Layao, okay? We called it off.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together trying to understand what he was talking about. “But why wou—”

“We don’t even like each other. She’s fine, but I don’t love her. I never have.” He pulls you in closer ever so slightly and rubs his thumb against your cheek.

“Really? But you guys always seemed so…together.”

“We were making the best of the whole thing, but I could never give her my heart. Not when you already had it.”

The tears come in full force and it feels like all the air has been stolen from your lungs.

“I love you. Oel ngati kameie.” The tears finally fall from his eyes, but he also smiles down at you. Your body feels like it will go completely limp at any moment. For so long you had dreamed of hearing those words from him. And now, here he was ready and willing to give you all of him. How are you supposed to turn him away?

“I love you too, Teyam. I always have.”

His arms fold completely around you and he holds you close letting you nestle your face in his chest. He kisses the top of your head and relishes in the feeling of holding you again after so long. Too long.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” He mutters from above you.

“It’s not your fault. I didn’t give you the chance.”

“I swear, I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours and only yours. I just want to take care of you and our child.” He says still failing to hold his tears. The words ‘our child’ still feel so odd on his tongue, but it’s a good kind of unfamiliarity. His voice wavers a bit and it breaks your heart, but you cling to the hope for the future.

When Neteyam finally pulls back to look at you, he holds your face in his hands and gently kisses you. It’s so small and tentative, it reminds you of the first time you kissed. He’s so careful with you. But you don’t mind since that delicate care was just what you needed right now.

You break the kiss when you hear Veyä rustle around trying to get comfortable. Neteyam bends down next to her and admires her cute little face.

“She is beautiful. Just like her mother.”

You roll your eyes playfully at him, but the blush on your face is evident.

“She takes after you.”, you say nudging his shoulder. You yawn feeling the exhaustion finally catching up to you. “It’s been a long day. I should probably get some sleep.”

“Of course.” Neteyam says before lying down and making himself comfortable on your sleep mat. You watch him surprised, but he’s unphased by your shock when he holds his arms out towards you. You shoot him a questioning look, but he only urges you towards him still waiting with open arms. Hesitantly, you lay yourself next to him and he wraps his arms around you holding you close to his chest. His hand strokes the top of your head while he kisses your forehead and whispers about how good of a mom you are. If you weren’t half asleep already, you’d definitely be on the verge of tears again.

“Hey, Teyam.” You mumble into his chest.

“Yes, tìyawn?”

“I really missed you”

He gives you one more peck, “I missed you too.”

And with that, you let yourself succumb to sleep.

…

These days, you rise early. Your body had become so accustomed to waking up with Veyä in the wee hours of the morning that it’s just automatic for you now. Without opening your eyes, you wait and listen for sounds of her rustling around or fussing, but there is none. You silently thank Eywa that she’s still sleeping and so you turn back over to go back to sleep. When you reach out your arm, you’re surprised when there’s nothing there. No one right there. Your eyes shoot open and panic starts to set in when you see that Neteyam isn’t lying next to you anymore. You whip your head around and your whole body visibly goes slack when you catch sight of him sitting next to your mat. Your hand holds your chest trying to physically still your erratic heart.

“Teyam? What are you doing?” you groggily ask trying to crane your neck to see over his shoulder. You catch a glimpse of Veyä’s tail lightly tapping against his forearm.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. She was getting fussy and I wanted to let you get some more rest. I finally just got her to settle down.” He whispers turning his head to you so that you can hear him better.

You shuffle around a bit and scoot closer to get a better look and sure enough, Veyä is cuddled in close to Neteyam’s chest breathing deeply. You can still see the tear stains on her face from her episode that she had. One of your hands reaches out to lightly run over her head and smooth her hair.

“Thank you.” You mutter to Neteyam before pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I almost wasn’t sure she’d take to me.” He admits with a bit of guilt.

“Trust me, Teyam, she loves you. She’s loved you since before she was born. Every time I would talk to her about you, she would flip and kick all around.” You recount fondly.

A smile appears on Neteyam’s lips, but then his bottom lip quivers and tears start to fall down his face. When you notice, you hop up from your sleep mat and come to sit next to him.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“I…I missed everything. I wasn’t there for you; for her. I never felt her kick in your belly. I didn’t get to talk to her. I couldn’t even bring myself to stay and see her be born. You both needed me and I left you to do it all on your own.” More tears race down his face and his voice comes out shaky as he speaks.

Your lips press into a line feeling the guilt and shame radiate off him.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me, but I am so incredibly sorry and I swear before Eywa that I will find a way to make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Teyam. I should have told you. The important thing is that you’re here. And you’ll be there for her from now on.” Your head rests on his shoulder hoping to show him that you really don’t blame him for how things turned out. He leans his head on yours and sighs deeply looking down at his daughter in his arms.

“Veyä is a beautiful name.”

You smile, “I thought you’d like it.”

Silence falls over you, but it’s a comfortable silence. It’s serene. You close your eyes wanting to bask in this moment and commit every detail to memory. The smell of the early morning air, the steady rise and fall of Neteyam’s shoulder under your head, the tiny coos from Veyä securely clutched in his arms, all of it.

“I’m here to see my favorite girl! Aunt kiri brought toys!” Kiri calls out while wandering into your kelku.

Both you and Neteyam snap your attention to her and she freezes when she sees the scene in front of her.

“Oh, Neteyam! What are you doing here?” she asks awkwardly.

“Wait. Kiri, did you know that this is my child?” his tone is filled with disbelief.

“W-well, yes, but I wanted to tell you! Multiple times.” She says pointedly looking at you and crossing her arms. Neteyam follows her gaze to you and raises his empty brows at you incredulously. You grimace feeling the weight of his stare and cringe when he just utters ‘really?’.

“But it looks like you two idiots finally worked it out. Thank Eywa. Watching both of you dance around this whole thing was starting to get painful.” She says walking in all the way.

“I can’t believe you knew this whole time and didn’t say a word to me. You never even hinted at it.” He shakes his head at her as she comes to sit in front of both of you.

“Go easy on her, Teyam. I wouldn’t let her. But she was also a huge help to me during the pregnancy. She’s part of the reason we’ve been doing as well as we have. If not for Kiri, Veyä and I would be in a much rougher situation than we are.” You explain to him.

Neteyam’s expression softens listening to you. He can’t be upset with Kiri really. It wasn’t her responsibility to tell him. Plus, she was there for you when he wasn’t. If anything, he felt like he owed her his gratitude.

“Thanks.”

She playfully rolls her eyes at him, “Yeah, yeah, skxawng.”

…

Living the domestic life with Neteyam was an adjustment for all of you. Neteyam was eager to step up and step into the role of father for Veyä and you had to learn to take a step back and let him handle some things on his own just like you had to. But there were sometimes where Veyä just wouldn’t settle down for him no matter what he tried. But as soon as he would hand her off to you, she’d calm almost instantly. It broke his heart. All he wanted was for her to feel connected to him. Safe with him. One night, you could hear him sniffle softly next to you on the sleep mat. It made your heart heavy for him. You did your best to offer him some comfort holding onto him and pressing kisses to his shoulder.

“You’re doing a good job, Teyam. It’s just going to take a little time, that’s all.”

He’d turn and wrap his arm around you kissing the top of your head. He wouldn’t say anything, but he’d nod his head lightly listening to your reminder of patience.

Things finally took a turn for the better when you let Neteyam convince you to leave him alone with Veyä for a few hours while you went out to bathe and gather some fruits.

“Are you sure, Teyam?” you ask feeling flutters of apprehension dance in your chest.

“Of course. I think this will be good for us. Isn’t that right, my little tanhì?” he says cuddling Veyä in close and tickling her a bit making her laugh. “Just trust me.”

You know how much this means to him. And you trusted him, of course. “Alright. I’ll be back as soon as I’m done, okay?”

“Yes, yes, now go relax and we’ll be here when you get back.” He smiles at you while he gently holds a hand on your back to guide you out of your kelku. You laugh a bit at his antics and roll your eyes. “Fine, fine. I’m going. I’ll be back soon.” You say bending down to give Veyä a kiss on the forehead. “I love you. Be good for your sempu.” You straighten up and give Neteyam a peck on the lips before finally walking off to the pond to bathe.

“Now, how shall we spend our time, hm?” he smiles down at Veyä as her eyes watch him back curiously.

He walks back into your kelku and lays Veyä down on her back and he lays on his side looking at her. He wiggles a finger at her which she reaches out for. The unrelenting baby strength of her grip on his finger makes him huff out a small laugh.

“Strong girl. No surprise there, though.”

She uses her other hand to grab his finger and bring it to her mouth to nibble on.

“You know, you come from a great line of warriors. A line of toruk maktos and fierce fighters. And your sa’nu…she’s just amazing all around. I just know you’ll grow up to be just as beautiful and smart and tough as her.”

She continues to busy herself with chewing on Neteyam’s finger, but he hopes that his words will reach her somewhere deep inside and that she’ll carry that sentiment with her. When she finally tears her mouth off of him and looks at his face, she stares blankly at him for a minute or two. Neteyam doesn’t say anything or make any attempt to break her focus. After she’s decided on whatever was plaguing her tiny mind, she cracks a big, bright, toothless smile up at him.

Neteyam feels his heart squeeze in his chest. It’s as if he’s been hit with an arrow in the best way possible. How could something so small have such a massive impact on him this way? He can feel himself crumbling right on the spot. He knows that he would happily lay down his life if it meant protecting this tiny little life. Truly, is there anything as undoing as a daughter?

Once her smile drops, she lets out a big yawn.

“Looks like my princess needs her rest. Here.” He says picking her up and holding her flush against his chest. He lies down rubbing a hand up and down her back gently. The steady rise and fall of his chest while he breathes soothes Veyä into a quick slumber. Her tiny tail curls in towards her body while she buries her face in his chest. Neteyam dares not to move right now. He knows the repercussions that come with waking a sleeping baby. Plus, he wants to enjoy this moment for as long as possible. And before he knows it, sleep comes for him too.

The sight you’re met with when you return home completely melts you. The love of your life sleeping peacefully with your child curled up gleefully on his chest. Soft snores coming from both of them and their ears flicking back and forth sporadically.

‘They even sleep alike.’ You think to yourself trying to stifle a giggle. Silently, you place the basket of your fruit in the corner and sit on your knees in front of Neteyam and Veyä. As much as you hate to break up this touching scene, you know that it’s time to feed Veyä again. You carefully lift her from Neteyam’s chest making his eyes shoot open immediately to see who had dared to disturb his bonding with his precious baby. He’s relieved to see that it’s just you back home, though.

“Welcome home. I must’ve fallen asleep.” He rasps out still full of sleep. “I see. Looks like things went well.” You say smoothing Veyä’s hair where it had gotten a little messy.

“Of course, it did. I told you we’d be fine.” He finally sits up and rests his elbows on his knees.

“Yes, yes. My mighty warrior is quite the amazing father.” You lightly tease kissing his cheek making him flush a bit.

From that day on, you had both gotten much more acclimated to your new roles and lives as parents and building your family together. There would even be times where the roles would reverse and Veyä would only want her father. Neteyam loved to tease you about it to no end. You never minded it, though. It actually made you indescribably happy to see how attached your daughter had grown to him. Especially considering you weren’t sure either of them would ever even know about each other. So, if it meant that sometimes she would prefer her father over you, you were more than willing to live with that.

…

“Teyam, I don’t know about this. Are you sure they won’t be mad?” you ask fidgeting in your spot next to Neteyam.

“Are you kidding? All my mother has been talking about for months is how excited she is for grandchildren. They’re going to be happy. Trust me.” He says taking your hand in his and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“Okay.” You sigh.

You had let Neteyam and Kiri convince you to tell Jake and Neytiri the truth about Veyä. To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were essentially the reason that their plans for Neteyam and Layao and the future of the clan fell through. They were like family to you and the last thing you wanted was to make them angry or disappointed in you.

You anxiously readjust your sling with Veyä on your chest as you walk with Neteyam into his parents’ kelku. You’re thankful to see that it’s only the two of them home right now. This was going to be hard enough to get through without an audience.

“Well, well, hey there stranger. Look at you all grown up with a kid of your own now!” Jake says approaching you with a smile and wrapping you in one of his famous dad hugs.

“Our deepest sympathies about Aykxo” Neytiri says to you.

You squeeze Neteyam’s hand hoping that he’ll say something because you feel as if a palulukan has your tongue right now.

“Actually, that’s partially why we’re here.” He starts looking between both of his parents who now were eyeing you both in confusion. “Mom, dad, say hello to your granddaughter. Veyä is my child.” He states proudly.

Silence.

When you’re finally able to bring your eyes back to look at their faces, there is shock and confusion and some other third emotion that you’re not quite able to make out. Somehow, though, Neytiri looks less surprised than Jake.

“Wait, your kid? But that’s not possible, right?” he asks in disbelief. He looks at you and Neyteyam waiting for one of you to answer.

“It’s true, she is Neteyam’s child. I was never with Aykxo.” You finally speak even though it’s barely audible even in the silence.

“I—” Jake huffs out a breath cutting his own sentence short while he processes this new revelation.

“Ma’Jake…” Neytiri speaks up and gives him a look. It’s the kind of look that communicates so much without any words. The kind of look that you learn to understand after years and years of being with each other.

“Let’s talk a bit. Outside.” He says to Neteyam specifically.

“Yes, sir.” He says already readying himself for the lecture he was surely in for. “I’ll be right back.” He says gripping your hand one last time before he follows his dad out of the kelku. The silence left behind between you and Neytiri somehow feels even heavier on your shoulders than before. Her eyes scan you up and down and she tilts her head a bit at the sight of your baby.

“May I?” she asks gently holding her hands out. You’re more than a little surprised, but you nod anyway. Scooping Veyä out of your sling and placing her in Neytiri’s hands, she looks the infant over carefully seemingly examining her every feature.

Clearly, she recognizes the similarities when a warm smile crosses her face.

“She looks just like Neteyam did as a baby.” She remarks.

“The pattern on her head is just like his.” You add

“It is.” Neytiri brushes her nose against Veyä’s and she squeals with joy flailing her little limbs in her hold. “She is beautiful.”

“I have to admit, I was worried you would be upset.”

“Oh, how could I ever be upset to have such a precious grandchild? The Great Mother makes no mistakes. Besides, I already had a suspicion. You’ll come to learn this, but a mother knows.”

Neteyam and Jake come back inside and Neteyam immediately retakes his place next to you holding your hand. You raise your brows slightly at him silently asking him if everything was okay and he offers you a small smile in response.

“Alright, let me get a look at the little ball of sunshine.” Jake says walking over to Neytiri and smiling down at the baby. “Hey there, I’m your grandpa.” He says letting her grab his finger.

“Whew! Feel that grip! She’s a Sully, alright.” He laughs.

…

The next month felt like it flew by in a whirlwind. Neteyam moved in to your kelku, you introduced Veyä to the rest of his family, and did a lot of explaining. In just a matter of weeks, life as you’ve known it has been completely turned on its head.

Neteyam had insisted on adding one of the beads from his braids to Veyä’s song cord. The gesture was sweet enough to bring a tear to your eye

Jake and Neytiri loved being grandparents. Jake would fly Veyä around like something called an airplane. You didn’t really get it, but she loved it so that’s all that mattered. It surprised you at first how accepting his family had been of your situation, but at the same time, you were beyond grateful for their support.

Tonight, Jake and Neytiri offered to keep Veyä for the night so that you and Neteyam could have “date night”. It’s supposed to be a chance for the two of you to spend time alone together without having to worry about the baby. It was a nice gesture, but admittedly, you were apprehensive about spending a whole night away from her. You hadn’t spent so much time away from her before and it was a worrisome feeling, but they insisted it would be good for you. Plus, Neteyam seemed keen to have you to himself for a night so you agreed.

“Alright, Neteyam has his throat comm in case there’s an emergency and you need to reach us.” You explain trying to stall as long as you can.

“Yawne, it will be fine. It is only one night.” Neteyam says lightly peeling you away from Kiri who was holding your baby.

“We know how to reach you. Now, go have fun. Relax a little.” She says.

“Okay, okay. You’re right. But we’ll be back first thing in the morning.” You say caressing Veyä’s cheek with your finger.

“Say bye sa’nu!” Kiri gushes while waving Veyä’s arm at you.

“Thanks again. See you in the morning!” Neteyam waves goodbye to his family as you both leave. You do your best to hold it together, but a single tear still manages to escape from your eye. You try to quickly wipe it away before Neteyam notices, but of course he catches it.

“Oh, come now. Am I that miserable to be around?” he jokes at you trying to make you laugh. And it works.

“You know it’s not that.”

“Well, I think I have something that will cheer you up.” He says calling his ikran over.

You squint at him suspiciously wondering what he had planned for you for the night. He laughs a little to himself and holds his hand out to you to help you mount his ikran. “Just trust me.”

You sit in front of him during the ride while one of his arms holds you close around your waist. While you’re soaring across the night sky, Neteyam does a particularly steep dive making you reflexively hold on to his arm tight and let out a small yelp of surprise. He chuckles seeing your reaction, but he also secretly loved how you held onto him. Once he levels back out, you playfully smack his arm and he kisses your shoulder in apology.

He finally lands at a clearing near a waterfall where you can see the moon and stars more clearly than back home. The light of the moon dances across the water and you notice that there’s an assortment of bioluminescent flower petals scattered around a small mat on the ground next to the water.

“Neteyam…what is this?” your eyes are full of wonder as he helps you down.

“This is our date. I know it’s not much, but I thought it was pretty at least.” He sheepishly guides you over to the mat in the middle of the flowers.

“Are you kidding me? Neteyam, this is beautiful. You did all of this yourself?”

“Well, I got the idea from my dad.” He admits.

When you sit down, Neteyam runs back over to his ikran to unload a small basket that had some pxir, meats, and utumauti. He runs back over to you to set all the food down and you smile at his endearing display.

“You know these are my favorite.”

“Of course. It wouldn’t be complete without your utumauti.”

The smile on your face could crack your face in half. Suddenly, you notice Neteyam seem to become very nervous about something. His tail thumps lightly at the ground behind him and his ears were flicking wildly.

“Truth is, there is something else I wanted to do tonight, too.” He speaks up, but his eyes have a hard time staying focused on you. You tilt your head at him waiting for him to continue. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he goes on. He comes to rest in front of you and kneels on one knee. He fidgets around with the satchel on his hip and pulls out a small bracelet to hold in his palm in front of you. At the center of the detailed braiding is an iridescent purple pearl surrounded by multiple smaller gemstones.

Your mouth falls open a bit and your eyes jump between the small piece of jewelry and his face.

“I know that this may seem redundant, but it only feels right to still do this…I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. And I love our child and the life that we have together. No one else knows me like you do and no one else can leave me breathless like you. Every night, I thank Eywa for the privilege of holding you close. I never want to be without you ever again. So, will you be my mate?”

The tears fall fast and steady down your cheeks while Neteyam pours his heart out to you. It feels like all of your emotions are stuck in a ball in your throat preventing you from speaking properly. All you can manage to do is nod your head at him. The light of his smile rivals that of the moon right now. He takes your wrist in his hand and fits the bracelet around you. Your hand covers your mouth to stop the small sob that tries to escape.

He brushes away your tears with his thumb. “Was it too much?”

You quickly shake your head at him. “No, it was perfect, Teyam. I’m just really happy.”

His arms wrap around you and you bury your face into his chest smiling to yourself. When you look up at him, his smile still hasn’t left his face. Your lift your face to his to kiss him and he’s more than happy to return the gesture. His hold on you tightens and you breathe out a small moan against his lips. The sound sends a shiver through Neteyam’s body. He tries testing the waters by parting his lips slightly, but before he can lick your lips, your tongue is already invading his mouth eagerly. He can’t help but smile into the kiss.

You’re not sure if it’s the emotions getting to your head or the overall atmosphere around you right now, but you feel this need to have his hands on you. You grab his hands and guide them to your hips and you can feel how he’s putting forth all his effort to show some kind of restraint with you. You press your body more into his to let him know that he doesn’t need to hold back. He finally starts to get the hint when you feel his tail sneak its way to wrap around your thigh.

“Yawne…” he says against your lips. It’s meant to be something of a warning, but the way he growls it out makes all the blood rush to your head and make you dizzy.

“Yes, sayrìp?” you ask still not taking your lips off his.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Oh, I know you’ll make sure I finish.” You look up at him feigning innocence and he just smirks at you.

“You are something else, you know that?”

“Of course. That’s why you love me.”

He pulls you into his lap and rests his hands on your hips. The gesture is familiar and oh so missed. “I suppose you have a point.” He says starting to kiss your neck and lightly rock your hips back and forth on top of him. Your head lulls to the side opening yourself up to him more.

“Just don’t get me pregnant again yet.” You half-joke.

He chuckles lowly to himself, “No promises.”

“Teyam…” it’s your turn to warn him, but it comes out more as a moan than anything, spurring him on even more.

“You’re so pretty pregnant. Carrying my baby. So beautiful” he halfway mumbles while he carries on scenting you. It feels like he won’t be satisfied until he’s completely drowned you in his scent. Eywa, you missed this. Your mind is telling you to be careful, but it’s powerless to stop your body from naturally pressing more into him and moving your hips. Neteyam’s hands run up and down your waist and hips and thighs, only stopping when he lets one wander between your legs. There was no way of getting around how soaked you were right now and he loves it.

“See, look how ready your body already is for me.” He says licking a long stripe up your pulse point and letting himself get drunk off your scent.

You can’t deny it, your body trembled with anticipation under his touch. And you make no efforts to stop him when his fingers slip past your loincloth and drag themselves through your slick.

You gasp when he slips a finger inside of you and curls it in just the right way that he remembers you love. It feeds the carnal part of your brain that wants to submit to him completely. And so you do.

“Ahh…Nete…”

His hold on you tightens and a low growl rumbles in his throat.

“Fuck, I missed hearing you” he says picking you up and laying you on your back still keeping his fingers inside of you. He quickly finds that one special spot that only he could reach and it makes you throw your head back in lust. Even after all this time, he still knew your body so well. But you still knew him too.

You tease him by just lightly dragging your fangs over his neck. With his lips right next to your ear, you can hear clearly how his breath stutters. Neteyam loved for you to mark him and stake your claim over him and now you could without restraint. The slow drag of your teeth against his skin made goosebumps appear all over his body. The waiting was torture. It makes his cock twitch with need.

He decides that he’s had enough of your loincloth being in his way of what he really wanted. He only pulls his fingers out of you long enough to slide your tewng and his off. He palms his fully hard length while he drinks in the sight of you for the first time in so so long. It’s almost like a compulsion when he dips his face down to bury it between your thighs and his tongue swipes across your clit.

Your whole body jumps at the contact. He presses messy, open mouth kisses to your cunt, sucking lightly on your swollen clit. “You taste even better than I remember” he kind of mutters to himself between devouring you like a man starved.

“Mmm! Neteyam! I’m gonna cum!”

He hums out a response with his tongue buried inside of you while he strokes himself faster. When he swirls his tongue around, he swipes a spot that fully makes your thighs try to squeeze together around his head.

“Ah! I’m cumming!” you moan just as it finally crashes into you. Your whole body seizes and Neteyam greedily laps up all of your overflowing arousal while you ride out your high against his face. Your hips buck and jerk against him as you slowly try to come down. It’s easier said than done when Neteyam won’t stop licking up every last drop of you. From the inside of your thighs to directly from the source, his mouth is all over you.

“Nete…n-need you…please”

He’s just about at the edge of his own patience by now, too. He sits back on the balls of his feet to line himself up with you so he can slide in slowly.

You’re not used to the feeling anymore. It’s unfamiliar, but at the same time, it feels like finally sliding the last piece of a puzzle into place. There’s this sense of ‘oh, this fits perfectly here’. Neteyam clings to whatever shred of sense he still had left to make sure he doesn’t do too much too fast with you. It feels like you lose more of your mind with every inch he sinks deeper into you until he’s fully bottomed out in you. He holds himself still so you can adjust to the feeling again, but also because he’s afraid he might cum too quickly if he doesn’t take a second to take a deep breath or two.

Your arms fold around his neck pulling him in closer and you can see how the bottom half of his face is glistening still covered in you. His eyes watch you looking for any signs of discomfort, but also just because he loves to watch your face when he first slides in you. You offer him a small nod letting him know that you’re fine and he takes his time dragging out of you and pushing back in. It’s a slow roll of his hips back and forth into yours. Long, loving, powerful thrusts that press into your sweet spot perfectly.

“Mmf!...Ha-ahh…right there” you whimper out.

All the sweet sounds spilling from your lips is too much for Neteyam. He can already feel his knot starting to grow.

“Shit…” he says under his breath. He thinks about it for a while in his own mind. He thinks about knotting you again and thinks about the eye-rolling pleasure it would give both of you. He thinks about getting you pregnant again. Using your cunt however he pleases to breed you over and over again to ensure it takes. Filling you until it’s literally having to spill back out of you. There’s not a single thing he wants more right now than to stuff his knot into you and let nature take its course.

Thankfully, he’s able to remain logical enough to stop himself from doing so. He knows it would be unwise, to say the least, to get you pregnant again so soon. But fuck, you make it hard when you’re looking at him like that and digging your nails into his skin from how hard you’re holding onto him while he fucks into you.

“Ah! Ah! Great Mother! I’m cumming again!” your eyebrows scrunch together as your face contorts in ecstasy when your orgasm takes you for the second time tonight even stronger than the last one.

“Oh, fuck, me too” he says gritting his teeth still struggling against his body’s primal need to fill you. At the very last second, he pulls out and watches as his seed spills onto your lower abdomen instead.

Heavy panting breaths fill the air as you both come down. You look at the mess he’s made on your stomach and shoot him a tired smile.

“Smart man.” You say making you both laugh.

“Just consider yourself lucky that my willpower is so strong.” He responds.

For the rest of the time that you’re there, the two of you alternate between eating the food that Neteyam brought and taking your time relearning each others’ bodies. It feels familiar and comfortable just like it used to, but now, you don’t have to worry about hiding.

…time skip…

“Sa’nu!” your daughter’s small voice calls out to you as she eagerly runs to your side. You sweep her up in your embrace and spin her around while wild giggles jump from her throat.

“Yes, ma’ite?” you say while snuggling her closely against you.

“How did you and sempu meet?” her voice is filled with innocence and her big eyes blink at you.

You cock an eyebrow at her, “Well now, where did that question come from?” Your daughter was only 4 years old, but in all of her years, she’s never inquired about you and your husband’s relationship. It was never really necessary.

“Well, Ipxpa said that Uncle Lo’ak and Aunt Layao told her that they met because of you and sempu. But how did you meet?” she inquires genuinely. You chuckle a little to yourself finding her curiosity endearing.

At the same moment, your husband walks into your kelku. “I heard my name?”

“Sempu!” you watch your daughter run and throw herself into your husband’s arms and nearly knock him back.

“Woah, did you grow even more since I left this morning? I swear you’re getting bigger every time I turn around.” His fingers tickle at her sides making her squeal and squirm in his grip.

“How was the hunting trip, sayrìp?” you say making your way to his side so he could place a light kiss on your forehead.

“It went well. We have plenty of meat to get us through several weeks. But, more importantly, how are you, ma love?” he asks looking down at you still holding your daughter in his arms.

“I am fine. We are all fine.” You reassure him holding your hands against your slightly protruding lower abdomen. “Your son has a hunger that would rival your own.”

A proud smile crosses Neteyam’s lips and his hand lands on top of yours. “He is strong. That is good.”

You smile contently feeling your unborn baby wiggle at his father’s touch.

“Our daughter is wondering how we met.”

He raises his would-be eyebrows at you, “Oh really? Well, that is a fun story.”

“Oooh I wanna hear it! Please, sa’nu!” Veyä clutches her hands together and pouts her lip at you.

You throw your head back relenting, “Fine, fine. Come, sit.” You instruct her and she worms her way out her father’s grasp and sits cross-legged on the floor in front of your sleeping mat. Thinking about the full story, you realize that you’ll have to leave out a few details that she doesn’t need to know.

Your husband holds your hand to help guide you down to the ground on your mat.

“Well, it was a long time ago. Long before you were born ma’ite.” You begin and her face lights up with wonder. “Your sempu was in love with a different girl!” she gasps dramatically and looks at her father full of scandal making you laugh.

“Hey now, if you’re going to tell the story, then tell it right!”

“Fine. Your father and I had been in love our whole lives, but we had to keep it a secret because he was supposed to be with someone else.”

The three of you settle in so that you can listen to the story as you recount it fondly until you notice Veyä’s eyes starting to droop.

“Look’s like someone needs a nap” you say pausing the story.

“Noooo, please keep going sa’nu!” she protests even though she’s clearly struggling to hold her eyes open.

“We can finish when you wake up, tanhì” Neteyam says scooping her up in his arms and holding her against his chest. You could tell he about ready to settle in for some rest too. You figure you might as well join them and finally rest your exhausted body. You scoot in to Neteyam’s side while Veyä curls up on his chest just like when she was a baby and Neteyam holds a hand around both of you and kisses both of your heads while you all slowly drift off to sleep.

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#avatar #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #avatar fic #awow #neteyam x na'vi!reader #atwow #atwow neteyam #avatar twow #avatar neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #avatar smut #neteyam smut

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aaronhotchswife · 7 months

Text

THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL

Drew Starkey x Female Reader

Chapter 3

Warnings : alcohol, smut, loss of virginity This is the last chapter of this serie. I hope you'll enjoy it !

chapter 1

chapter 2

"There are many things in life that will catch your eyes, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue those. " -Michael Nolan

It’s the first time that we’re all since Christmas. Drew is talking to the boys, telling him about how at his parents. We didn’t talk about what happened that day in his bedroom, I just apologized for acting like that and he told me not to worry. We’re just best friends trying to figure life out.

"If that is not Y/N!"

"Oh my god! Hiiii! How are you?" I asked the guy behind me, rising from my seat to hug him. "Guys, this is Oliver. He was my best friend from elementary to high school."

He smiles at them, his arm around my shoulder. When I ask him what he’s doing here, he tells me that his friends picked this bar to celebrate the New Year.

"Do you want a drink? " Olivier asks, pointing over two stools at the bar. I accept, taking his hand and following him. I see the girls looking at me with smiles and playful looks. I laugh softly, just wanting to have a drink with my childhood best friend. My heart belongs to Drew, but these past few days I just want to think about someone else and clear my mind. I’ve been in love with him for a long time now, always thinking about him and how cute and wonderful he is. From the moment we kissed as our characters for the first time to our fight, I keep loving him. But maybe now it’s time to let myself live at little bit, without him.

Drew’s point of view

I see her at the bar, talking with some guy. She’s sipping her cocktail, admiring him. I think Lacia sees the confusion on my face because she taps on my shoulder and explains to me who he is. He looks handsome and I can’t help but be a little jealous of how she looks at him. Especially when his hand finds its way down her back, murmuring something in her ear. It should be me with her like that, and I can’t help but be mad at myself for how things played out.

***

Y/N’s point of view

I’m outside with Oliver, still talking about what is going on in our lives. My phone rings and when I look at it, I see a text from Madelyn wishing me a happy New Year. I didn’t even realize that it was midnight already.

"Happy New Year Oli! "

"Oh! Happy New Year! I wish you everything you wish for. "

I smile before hugging him. It’s good to see him again after having lost touch after high school. When I break his embrace, his lips find mine, kissing me softly. I smile on his lips, my face finding its way on his chest.

"Don’t get shy on my now, " he laughs.

"I’m sorry, I just didn’t except kissing someone tonight. Listen, I just probably go check on my friends, they must probably wonder where I went. You have my number so text me whenever you want, " I kiss his cheek goodbye before turning around and entering the bar.

Drew’s point of view

I see her coming back to our table, her lipstick a bit smudged. I don’t need more clues to understand what just happened with her and that man. I look at her, my head filled with memories of the feelings never told and at this moment, I realize that I need to be hers. I would crawl home to her if it was what it took for her to want me.

"You had fun with your friend?" I ask.

"I did. Thanks for asking…" she responds.

"Yeah, I can see that. "

She looks at me with an awkward smile, before sitting next to Maddie, who is almost sleeping on the table. She wakes her up, telling her that she’ll drive her home since she just had one drink.

"C’mon Mad. Let’s get you home. Drew, are you coming home too? "

I nod, before saying goodbye to everyone. Y/N drove Maddie home before parking her car at our apartment entrance. When she unlocks the door, she throws her heels away, sighing in relief.

"God, my feet are killing me. " She laughs, making her way to her bedroom, exiting it with her towel and pyjamas. "I’ll go in the shower; do you want to watch an episode of Modern Family after? "

"Of course. But I need to take a shower too before. I feel disgusting, " I chuckle.

***

As we’re sitting on the couch, I look at her, not thinking twice before asking about Oliver. She explains to me that he was her best friend and that they kissed. I can feel the anger and the jealousy inside of me but I try to act as nothing.

"He’s cute but he is not my type. I would not have a relationship with him, if it what you’re asking. "

"Maybe it is, " I say. "Maybe it’s because I want you. "¸

"What? "

"I want you, Y/N. I want everything from you. I want you to be able to see yourself through my eyes and to realize how special you are to me. And tonight, when I saw you with him, I realized that I need you in my life more than a best friend. "

"Drew…"

I suddenly have a feral urge to crash my lips on hers and I can feel she wants the same.

Y/N’s point of view

Drew’s lips are on mine and I can’t explain how it feels at the exact moment. Even if I kissed him for work, it doesn’t feel the same. It feels real. It is real. I can feel him smile against my lips when my hand grabs his hair, giving me a little push to sit on his thighs. One of his hands is on the end of my back and the other one is on my cheek. I can feel his tongue pushing against mine and I let him. He lays me on the couch, his hand caressing my hair.

"Do you want to go in the bedroom? " He asks me, murmuring in my ear. He doesn’t have to ask me twice before my hand is in his and I bring him to my bedroom. He kisses me until my legs are on the side of the bed, making me fall on it. He’s on top of me, and his mouth is on my neck, giving me butterflies.

"I want you, Drew. Please. "

"Asked like that, it would be my pleasure, " he says chuckling.

His hands make their way to the hem of my shirt, pushing it further, asking for permission to undress me. I nod, watching Drew undress both of us. Both of our breathing is shallow when he looks at me. I feel shy, being almost naked in front of me. His hand plays with the hem of my panties, his mouth leaving small kisses on my stomach. When he takes off my underwear, I can se his eyes glistening.

"You are so beautiful. Are you sure you want to do this? "

"Yes, Drew, please. "

He kisses me one last time, his fingers playing with my nipples, making them hard. His hand finds its way to my core, murmuring in your ear how wet I am. His fingers play with my folds, before pushing one finger slowly into me, making my breath stops. The palm of his hand rubs softly against my clit, and it that moment I never felt better.

He parts my thighs and he places my feet on his shoulders before placing himself between my thighs. The tip of his nose brushes delicately on top of my clit and his tongue glides slowly in my folds. The moan I do makes him smile against my core and when he looks at me, his face is all wet from my arousal. But now I want to make him feel good. I sit up, my hand taking his boxer off. My breath gets caught when I see how big he is. I tentatively put my hand around him, making up and down movements and with the way his head falls back, I guess I’m doing good.

"Fuck. " He moaned.

"Can I taste you? "

His eyes sparkled the second I ask him, and he replace himself to be comfortable, while I start leaving some small kisses on his cock. His hands grab my hair in a makeshift ponytail, before guiding my head up and down his cock. He stops me just before he could cum, kissing me softly.

"Are you ready? "

"Put your hands on my shoulders and squeeze if it hurts, and tell me if you need me to stop, okay? " He instructed.

I nod, while Drew slowly pushes the tip of his cock in me. He takes a sharp breath as he pushes into me, feeling my walls clenching around him.

"You’re doing really great baby, want me to move? " He says, his voice hoarse.

I agree and with that, it’s not long before Drew’s sweet sounds in my ear and each stroke of him against that perfect little spot make me grip the headboard.

"You feel so fucking good baby, so tight. "

"Drew. "

Drew’s point of view

"Drew. "

The way she says my name and the breathy moan that spills from her lips are too much, pushing me right to the end. I watch her as her head falls back on the pillow and her back arches, and I swear that I never saw something that perfect in my life. I try to catch my breath, while she does the same. I cuddle her, caressing her hair.

"Hey, I love you. "

She smiles at me, and her smile is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen.

"I love you too Drew. "

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#drew starkey fluff #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey smut #drew starkey #rafe outer banks #outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction

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ariundercovers · 6 months

Text

The Bridge (When Paths Cross Pt. IX, Javier Peña x Reader)

Pairing: Javier Peña x Afab!Reader (No use of y/n!)

Length: ~3.6k words

Series Summary: Chucho's been like a father figure to you since he helped you out of a sticky situation on your second day in Laredo. What happens when you finally meet his son, the former-DEA agent, who just happens to ignite you in a way that you haven't felt before?

Chapter Summary: The next morning. A surprise meeting and a long-anticipated conversation.

Chapter Warnings: no porn only plot, angsty fluff, spanish nicknames, idiots in love, references to suicide, death/references to death (external character).

A/N: If you're so inclined, please drop a like and a reply/reblog! I live for your feedback, and it keeps me going and keeps me writing. Did you like it? love it? hate it? I want to hear all of your thoughts! And of course, just lmk if you'd like to be added to the taglist, too!

PREVIOUS PART (VIII) HERE

It’s a very sleepy, stress free morning that starts perfectly - with you waking up in Javi’s arms. You don’t think either of you moved, hardly an inch, over the course of the evening. Chucho is up early to take care of the cattle, which leaves you two with an empty house and… well, virtually nothing to do to fill the time. You can only hope that he’ll be willing to talk to you, to have a real conversation about all of this mess you’ve been stewing in over the course of the week.

You’re in the kitchen with Javier, moving around him as you set out to make a pot of coffee. It’s a well-rehearsed dance at this point - you make the coffee, Javi makes the pancakes, one of few actual meals he knows how to put together. You move wordlessly around one another for a long while, and its Javi is the one who breaks the silence partway through the morning meal you’ve been preparing together.

“Care to go for a ride with me?”

“A ride?” You question.

“Yeah. Take the horses, go for the day. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

You look over at him eagerly and you agree, of course. How could you ever say no? You’re still not sure where the two of you stand in all of this, and a conversation still hasn’t happened yet, but you figure this might be the best opportunity you have available to get him talking.

After you have your pancakes and coffee, you set out to gather up what supplies you’ll need for the day. You haven’t been on a ride this long before, so you pester Javi about what it is exactly that you need to bring. You pack yourselves a couple of sandwiches and a few drinks, stash them in a bag on Javi’s horse’s saddle, and head out to your destination which is… you’re not even sure where it is. The ranch is too big to be able to easily navigate on your own, so you just trust Javi and trot along behind him.

It’s peaceful, silent even, as you ride along one of the cow paths that laces through the massive property. When you come to a large clearing, one you’re not quite sure you’ve seen before, he slows, coming up next to you as your horses continue along.

He turns to you with an easy smile and announces, “I wanna take you to visit my mama.”

You’re shocked, to say the least. Shocked, confused, surprised, and, admittedly, a little bit concerned. Javi has never once spoken about his mother. You never asked, never pushed, because you figured it would’ve come up by now if he wanted to talk about it. You also figured he’d tell you the story of why she wasn’t around eventually, so you didn’t want to push or overstep. There were plenty of other things to talk about in the meantime.

But now, staring back at his timid but eager expression, you’re lost thinking about it. Who is she? What is she like? Will she even like you? You can feel a pit of nervousness boiling in your stomach, starting to worry already about how this might go.

But more importantly, you’re stuck on the why. Why now, of all moments, would he introduce you to his mother? After the biggest fight you’ve ever had, after literally walking out on him the other night, after Javi virtually admitted to you that you didn’t have a future together.

”Your mother?”

It’s all you can manage to say in response, taken aback so sharply by the suggestion. He nods back at you and his smile turns somber as he looks back into the seemingly empty distance in front of you.

“Not too much longer, cariño. We’ll be there soon.” He takes off on a trot again, back into the lead between the two of you. Following diligently, you watch as different gated pastures and trees and orchards pass by - some in better repair than others. You’ve only been out this far once, when Chucho gave you the official tour so long ago, now. You realize it must be a lot for Chucho to have been managing all of this on his own for so long, impossible to keep up with even the daily maintenance it would’ve required. You’re glad Javi is home to help. Chucho needs it.

You continue for some time, past the boundaries of what felt to have at least a modicum of familiarity to you. You didn’t realize how far the property went, sprawling in either direction along the river’s edge. Eventually, Javi slows once again, and you pull up next to him, watching as he dismounts with a graceful ease that you know you can’t replicate. You jump off as well, and he leads the horses over to a tree where they can graze freely while you’re here.

Looking around, you’re confused. There’s no house, or building anywhere around you. You can’t imagine where someone would live all the way out here, so you wonder if perhaps you’re making a pitstop somewhere else first. Javi breaks you out of your reverie when he reaches over, hesitantly, and laces his fingers between yours, ending with a heavy squeeze of your palm. Javi’s fingers tap lightly against the back of your hand as he leads you into the field just up ahead, and that’s when you finally see it. A few hundred yards in front of you, a large billowing tree filled with beautiful full green leaves overshadows a few small stones - they’re headstones, you realize.

Suddenly everything clicks into place. Why you’ve never been out here before, why there was no building around, why this seemed like such an odd place to meet Javi’s mother.

Javi’s brought you to his family cemetery.

Your chest tightens immediately and a lump gets stuck in your throat as you piece it all together. The only thing you can think to do is squeeze his hand with your own, pulling it into your chest so that you can hold it with both of yours for a moment. He turns, glancing over at you with a look of gentle concern, and he can see the tears welling in your eyes that threaten to spill over.

“I’m sorry if I’ve never talked about her before. It’s… hard to talk about.” You nod back at him and offer him another light squeeze before releasing his hand back into the grasp of only one of yours.

“Don’t apologize for that. You don’t need to.” He nods back at you and you fall into an easy silence as you walk the remaining distance to the headstones, just three of them placed around the tree. Two, toward the back, look older - you figure they must be a set of grandparents or similar - and another one, newer, but still well worn, sits in front. He leads you to it and stares down at the stone. You read it once, then twice, and another five or six times until it finally sinks in. She was 43, and Javi was only 19 when he lost her. You can’t begin to imagine how traumatic that must have been.

He releases your hand, then, and takes a moment to smooth out his pants first, then his shirt, pushing his hands into the pockets, like he’s trying to make sure he looks presentable enough. The tears that were brimming at your water lines slip past the barrier and roll down your cheeks when he finally speaks up.

“Hey, mami. I know it’s been a while.” Your gaze flicks from the headstone to the side of Javi’s face, another few stray tears falling from your lashes. “Just wanted you to meet this one over here.” He reaches for your hand again, clasping it tightly with his own, bringing it up to his lips to kiss for a moment before he tells her your name, and introduces you as ‘his girl.’

You smile at that. There wasn’t another word for it that worked better. Girlfriend didn’t feel right. Too juvenile, not serious enough. But you weren’t anything more than that either, not yet. It warms your heart to know that he still thinks of you that way, even after everything. Especially after the way that you walked out on him the last time you were here.

Javi starts to speak, then, like he’s talking to someone right in front of him. “I miss you. Bad. All the time. I’m sorry I don’t visit like I used to. It’s been too painful. Easier to just run away, I think. But I wanted you to meet her. Needed you to, I think.” You blink back some more tears and just let him speak, watching as he gets down onto his knees and sits back on his heels. “I hope you’re proud of me. I know I’m not so proud of me most days anymore, but I hope you are. I only ever wanted to make you happy. I miss you.”

Raising his fingers to his mouth, Javi presses a kiss to them before placing his hand gently on the earth in front of him. “I love you, mami,” he adds before standing. He pulls you in front of him, then, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind as he buries his face into the side of your neck. You can feel his heavy breathing and the way his breath breaks, like he’s holding back his own tears. There’s nothing you can do but hold tightly to him and let him ride it out however he needs to, so you do exactly that.

You don’t know how long you’ve been standing there, staring, with Javi’s strong arms wrapped tightly around you, when he finally releases his crushing grip and stands at your side once more. Reaching for your hand again, he turns and leads you back toward the horses in silence before you take a seat together beneath the tree he had them lashed to. It’s a long ways away now, but your eyes keep darting to the headstones at the base of that tree as you sit in silence. You can’t help but wonder so many things about it, how it happened, why, why here, why now.

Javi scoots in close to you and leans his head against yours, turning to press a kiss to your forehead briefly before he finally speaks up.

“I’m sorry to surprise you with this.” You sigh softly and turn so that you can look him properly in the eyes.

“No, Javi… don’t. Don’t apologize. Not for this.” He nods back at you and closes his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb for a moment.

“I just… this is really hard for me. Trying to force myself to open up about it. But I want you to know. I need you to, I think.” You try to offer him the easiest smile you can manage, eyes softening as you reach out to place a palm gently on the side of his cheek. You can't help it but to use your thumb to smooth out a few stray mustache hairs, while you’re at it.

“Okay. Then I’m listening,” you finally respond. Javi takes a long, slow breath, looking up at the sky as he exhales before looking back down to you. He starts, slowly, like he’s thinking about each and every word as he speaks.

“My mom was the love of my life. She was… everything. My whole world. But she, um…” He clears his throat, shaking his head as he looks over toward you. “Sorry. Didn’t think this would be as hard to talk about after all these years.” He pauses for a moment longer as he blinks a few times, shaking his head softly. “My parents loved each other more than I’ve ever seen anyone love another person. Ever. It was so clear to everyone who came around them. And when she…”

His eyes flutter closed and he drops his head, taking another deep breath, almost like it pains him to do so. You can see the agony on his face, in his body posture. It’s everywhere. “When she left us, everything shattered. And I… well, I promised myself I’d do anything in my power not to feel that kind of pain again. Even if it meant pushing people away, running away. All of these things you’ve seen me do now… that Pops has had to watch me do time and time again. Everything that happened in Colombia. I thought it would be easier.”

Inching closer to him, you reach out timidly for his hand, lacing your fingers together as you offer him whatever gentle affections you can without breaking his train of thought.

“But then you showed up, and you rocked my entire world. Everything I had demanded, decided for myself, suddenly felt wrong, and I was afraid. I was afraid and so I pushed you away, trying not to let myself fall into it. But I did, anyway. You made it impossible not to.” You just smile back at him, thumb rubbing along the back of his palm.

“I’m scared, muñeca. Absolutely fucking terrified of feeling all of this all over again. Whether it's now, or ten years from now, I know it’s coming. And I don’t know if I can take it.” He shakes his head more viscerally this time, looking at you then, pleading silently. “No. I know I can’t.

“Baby…” You can’t help but answer him, try to offer him some amount of reassurance. “You’re putting on the brakes for something that you can’t even see. Something that might not even happen.” His eyes close again and he drops his head, squeezing your hand softly once.

“I know. Logically, I know that. But I can’t make that fear go away. It’s just always… there.” You sigh and cock your head to the side, hoping to get a look at his face, but you can’t manage it.

“Can you look at me, Javi?” His head lifts, eyes watery as he looks at you with the softest, most somber expression you’ve ever seen on this so often so cocky and sure of himself kind of man. You have a million things to say, but you want him to have the chance to talk through things first, before you start. So you try to open with an easy question, or so you think. “Can I… Can I ask what happened to her?”

He stares at you for a long moment before he lets out a deep breath and his lips part like he’s going to speak. There’s a tense silence between you before he begins. “She… took her own life. She never left a note, or anything. Just… did it. Left me and Pops alone to fend for ourselves.” Your eyes widen and your heart absolutely shatters for him, reaching for his other hand so you have both in your own, now.

“Javi… oh God, I’m so sorry. I can’t… I can’t even imagine.” He nods and offers you an uneasy smile as a tear slips down his cheek.

“I know. It's okay.” He reaches out with a gentle hand to wipe away the tears from your face, and you do the same for him, both of you smiling sadly at each other for the moment. “I don’t mean to be such a sap,” he adds.

“That kind of hurt doesn’t just go away, Javi. It’s okay to be a sap about it, to still feel it so viscerally.” He takes a second to think about it before he answers.

“I know. That’s kind of my point. I feel it every single day. Every time I think about her, I feel it over and over again. It’s less than it used to be, that pain has faded a little bit, but it's still there. And I can’t… I just can’t imagine going through it again. So I thought if I made these rules for myself, if I didn’t let myself get into the kind of situation where I’d have to feel that kind of pain again, that things would be easier. No strings, no attachments, just me and my own sanity, you know?” You nod, starting to understand why he’s built these walls around himself so thickly, with such tough and seemingly unbreakable materials. It’s all starting to finally make sense to you.

“Yeah, I get it. It’s a coping mechanism. Just… a really long-term one, right?” He nods affirmatively and gives your hands a little squeeze.

“Yeah. Exactly that.”

“And you’re telling me this to… explain why you won’t think about the things I asked you? Or- are you…” You can’t manage to get yourself to speak the words. Luckily, Javi swoops in and speaks them for you.

“Yes and no. Yes, because that’s why I said the things that I did. That’s the reason. No, because I… well… fuck. You, uh… you managed to burrow yourself in there pretty deep already. And the thought of losing you right now is killing me. It’s killing me. It feels almost as bad as when I lost my mom, it’s just different. And I can’t do it. I can’t lose you, not now.” His eyes are still watery as he speaks, and all you want to do is lean in and kiss the tears away, but you know better than to do that. You have to have this conversation, first.

“I understand. At least I think I do. And I’m sorry, Javi, for storming out like I did. That wasn’t right of me.” You know he’s not the only one at fault here, your reaction not being the best, either, however warranted it may have felt at the time.

“No, no… I wasn’t treating you right. You had every right to walk out on me, cariño. I shouldn’t have been acting like that.” You nod and sigh, one hand reaching out to card softly through his hair, behind his ear, before it comes to rest in your lap once again.

“You can’t just dictate things at me like that again, though. It’s not okay. This is a partnership, right? Between the two of us? We need to talk about things, talk about our wants and desires and make choices that let us both compromise a little. Make each other happy, you know?” He nods, face falling slightly.

“I know, I know. I do. I didn’t do a good job of that. I shouldn’t have ever just blurted that all out at you and then not been willing to talk about it. That was fucked up.” You smile, sitting up a little taller before you continue.

“I was wrong, too, though. Storming out when things get tough doesn’t work, either. We’ll never get anywhere if that’s my response. It was a bad reaction on my part.” He chuckles lightly and offers you a half-smile.

“Kind of warranted though, wasn’t it?” You laugh nervously for a moment and then shake your head vigorously.

“No, not to that degree. I totally lost it.” He nods, understanding what you mean, luckily.

“Alright. How about we start this over? Can I ask that of you?”

“Of course, you can. We can do this - we can figure this out. I know it.” Your face is hopeful as you look at him, wishing for him to be willing to level with you, for you both to be able to move on and keep growing from this.

“Yeah. I like that plan.” A heavy breath releases that you weren’t aware you were holding back, and it feels like the world has left your shoulders. You’re not sure how you expected this conversation to go. Likely, badly, if you’re just being honest with yourself. And the truth of the matter is that it’s gone a lot better than you expected it to. You feel lucky. Not everyone would be willing to open up to you in the way Javi just has. And you feel honored - honored to know, honored to be a part of his and of Chucho’s lives. You didn’t realize before just how much you want that.

“I’m sorry, cariño. I’m so sorry,” Javi adds.

“I’m sorry, too,” you counter.

There’s an easy silence between the two of you as you sit and just look at each other for a long while. His fingertips roam the backs of your palms and your thumbs brush softly across the backs of his. You let yourselves just bather in the long moment of silence before you continue. There’s one more hint on your mind that you have to know, have to get off of your chest.

“So can we… can we talk about that stuff? It doesn’t need to be now. Just… sometime.” He nods, reaching for the sides of your face to pull you in for a kiss. It’s the lightest, most gentle kiss you think you’ve ever had - lips barely grazing over one another’s, just enough to know that you’re both there, together.

“Yes. Te prometo, muñeca. Juntos. We’ll make those decisions as a couple, I swear it.” You smile back at him and sit up slightly, your hands overlapping his on your face. “Together, this time. No unilateral decisions from either of us, okay? I promise.”

“Okay, Javi. I promise, too. Together.”

~~~

A/N: So I know this was an intense one. I took a LOT of inspiration from some of the things Pedro has talked about regarding his own mother in this, so I'm curious if anyone picked up on that. This is the last fluff/angst chapter for now - back to our regularly scheduled smutting and fluffing soon, I promise!

xoxoxo

Taglist: @amyispxnk @picketniffler @kirsteng42 @vee-bees-blog @samiamproductions @grippysockedtoebeans

(lmk if you'd like to be added!)

NEXT PART HERE

#javi peña smut #javi peña fanfiction #javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javier peña #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal #fanfic #javier peña smut #narcos fanfiction #narcos smut #javier peña fanfiction #javier pena fanfiction #no beta we die like men #writing #pedro pascal fanfiction

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a-kaash-me-outside · 1 year

Text

not fair - ch5

in which your boyfriend is perfect in every single way... except for one and kei can't just sit back and watch you suffer...

previous | ch5 | next (coming soon) [masterlist]

// "don’t question me again or i’ll leave." ~ ᴛsᴜᴋɪsʜɪᴍᴀ ᴋᴇɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ x ʏᴀᴍᴀɢᴜᴄʜɪ ᴛᴀᴅᴀsʜɪ ~ 8656 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

a look into this chapter/tw: 18+ minors dni super nfsw!, cheating (seriously, major plot point), threesome, vouyerism, size kink, weird feelings, use of character first names, degradation, oral f!receive, dom/sub undertones, coming untouched, stop light system, dirty talk, name calling, coming twice, plot-heavy, pegging, cross posted from ao3, afab reader she/her pronouns

join my taglist here!! ~~ (one more chapter left?!?!?!) ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

It’s one of those phone calls that you hope goes to voicemail.

Hey, Tadashi, just wanted to let you know that Kei and I were coming to get the car and boxes tomorrow. Sorry it’s been there for so long. That’s all it had to be. You’re repeating it in your head, waiting for the polite message and tone to come.

It doesn’t.

You don’t remember what Tadashi says when he answers the phone, don’t even know if he said anything at all. You pull the phone away from your ear, making sure that he didn’t answer and hang up or that the space between the rings isn’t just skipping. The numbers are counting up, seemingly slower than seconds typically pass by.

“Hey, Tadashi,” you start. You should have practiced or wrote a script or something, because any words, phrases, questions in your mind are gone now, leaving Tadashi to pick up the pieces once again.

If it weren’t for the tiny breath from the otherside of the phone, you might’ve hung up waiting for a response. He mutters your name first, practically lost by the hestiance and heaviness of the word. “Are you calling about coming to pick up your car?”

“Right, yea, I’m so sorry we left it there and haven’t, uh, been back to get it. We kinda just wanted to give you time because of everything and didn’t want to, yknow, rush anything or give you any trouble or-” you’re rambling on, nervous to stop. Kei rests his hand on your lower back just to let you know that he’s there.

“It’s fine, really, just, are you guys coming to pick it up?” he asks, interrupting your nervous spiel.

“Yes,” you reply, knowing that you have so much more to say, but not ready to say any of it. After being so intimate with him and Kei, you’d think that it would be easier to talk, like everything’s already been out on the table. It’s not until Kei raises his eyebrows, lets his thumb graze under your shirt and against your skin that you actually get the words out. “Do you think we could come in, too?”

Tadashi isn’t stupid. He has to know what you’re implying or, at the very least, know that the two of you want to talk with him. Kei is staring at you, the room is dead silent, and every second that Tadashi doesn’t answer is more confirmation that you’ve just made a fool of yourself.

You’re about to take it back, to backpedal without remorse in an attempt to salvage civility, but Tadashi clears his throat, unknowingly interrupting you. “Yeah, that would be okay.”

Almost too stunned to speak, you’re sure that the surprise was written across your face. “O-Okay, yeah.” It’s heavy in your throat, banging at the back of your teeth, you want to ask, clarify, make sure that you’re on the same page, but you also feel like you should quit while you’re ahead. Kei’s confusion turns to understanding when you give him a wide-eyed, short nod.

“Alright,” Tadashi replies, but still doesn’t hang up.

Tsukishima doesn’t grab the phone from you, but he talks loud enough for his voice to make it through the receiver. “Like last time?”

“Like last time,” Tadashi confirms quickly. “I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, for sure, see you then,” you reply, “Looking forward to it, Dashi.” You can faintly hear the hitch in his breath followed by the low clear of his throat.

“Me too.” Click.

You bring the phone down from your ear. The weight on your chest isn’t as unbearable with the assumptions off the table. There’s still a lingering force quickening your heartbeat, but at least you can breathe for now.

“Thanks,” you say, looking up at Kei.

He shrugs. “That’s what I’m here for, bluntness.”

“And doing the hard things that I can’t,” you scoff.

He bends down, pressing a kiss onto your forehead and pushing your hair out of your face. “Definitely not all the time. It’s probably like half and half,” Kei says and then tilts his head, “Mm, maybe 60/40.”

You nod, “Yeah, but that seems pretty fair to me.” You pull back, wiping your palms on your pants. “I should bring the thing, right?”

“Why else did we buy it?”

“No, I know, I guess I’m just nervous,” you admit.

“No reason to be. You’ll be great and Tadashi will love it, you know that,” Kei reassures you.

In theory, you did know that. If you really thought about it, you knew that. The evidence backs it up, the reciprocation in excitement backs it up, and yet you can’t help but doubt the ideas that have been swarming your head since that night.

The entire walk to Tadashi’s feels heavy, steps dragging, bag weighted, Kei’s hand in yours evident. So many thoughts are taking place in your head. You try to rid them, but you can’t. The conversation from that night is on repeat in your mind. Maybe it’s a good thing, maybe it’ll make you more decisive, maybe the repetition will hammer in these clouded thoughts.

You thought that the first time coming back felt weird, but coming back the second time comes with a mix of eerie comfort and looming taboo.

It’s a blur, really, Tadashi answering the door, inviting you inside. You remember the small things like taking off your shoes and placing them neatly next to the spot that you used to every single day and when you shake your head no at Tadashi politely asking if you want a glass of water or cup of tea. The rest of it is lost, second to the anticipation and the thought in the back of your mind to book it out the front door.

You are sitting on the couch. Kei is sitting next to you. Somehow everything in your head is talking at once and they’re your thoughts, but you can’t make out a single one.

You want to just skip to the part of the night that doesn’t feel like this anymore - fidgeting just to calm your nerves, the three of you sitting in a small circle like a meeting with stale coffee, no eye contact, barely allowing yourself to breathe. Kei’s hand hovers over to yours, slowly, trying not to bring attention to itself, not for his sake or even Tadashi’s, but for yours. His grasp wraps around your fidgeting fingers, his intertwining with yours like they were meant to be there.

In a matter of seconds, you catch Tadashi’s eyes as they flicker from the intertwined hands in your lap to your eyes back to your hands and then down at his own. You can’t get a long enough look at his face to see the emotion, but you don’t really need a long look to tell you that Tadashi is feeling more nervous than you are now, as if that’s even possible.

How hard would this have been without Kei sitting here right next to you? Without Kei throughout this entire process? Tadashi doesn’t have that, doesn’t get the sweet hand hold or the supportive presence. He deserves it, though.

You take the first step, hands shaking, breath unsteady as you stand up and move towards Tadashi. You don’t know what to say once you are right in front of him, so you opt for silence. Instead, you take this time to regulate your breathing and focus on the emotions in Tadashi’s face that you couldn’t find before.

All of the doubt that you had last night (and a few seconds ago, for that matter) is fading away. Now that he’s sitting here in front of you, now that you can see the soft features on his face, can feel Kei’s assuring presence behind you, can watch the way that Tadashi waits for your next sentence, patient and attentive. Your hand moves slowly as you reach to cup Tadashi’s face, directing his attention and testing the waters.

Banging against your sternum, your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest. It doesn’t calm on contact or when Tadashi leans into the touch ever so slightly and it gets much worse when the words tumble out of your mouth. You can’t help them, seeing how pretty Tadashi looks in front of you, getting flashbacks from last week, remembering how good he was for you.

“Can I kiss you?”

You don't know if this sentence takes Kei by surprise, don’t dare to look back or show an ounce of hesitation in front of Tadashi. Besides, at this moment, you’re more concerned about Tadashi, the way you can see the emotions clearly now, but you still can’t read them very well for the sake of how fast they’re changing. But you can read the nod, though slight, of Tadashi’s head after a beat of contemplation.

The kiss is sweet, warm. You have to bend down a bit more than you’re anticipating, but that only means you get to tilt his head up, bring his lips closer to yours, thumb gently pushing on the underside of his chin, fingers resting against his neck in a way that you can feel his harsh swallow as soon as you pull away. His eyes are wide, struck with something bordering wonderment, and you are drinking it in.

This has to be exactly what Kei felt like on the night that started it all.

There’s a surge of confidence for the first time since your last visit, like it’s no longer testing the waters, because you know exactly why the three of you are here. You’re not sure that Tadashi knows, but somehow that makes you feel even more assured, like he’s depending on you to guide him through the night.

And it really does feel like history repeating itself.

Still, it doesn’t matter how much you see yourself in Tadashi right now and how that means that if he is you then you would be Kei and how you know that if Kei were standing where you’re standing right now, things would unfold a lot differently. Despite the lingering pressure of this new role you’re embodying, you have to ask.

It comes out sweet, warm like the kiss you shared moments ago. “You’re okay with all of this?”

Tadashi’s nod is a touch more certain than the previous, but you follow it up nonetheless. “And it’s alright that I don’t keep asking if it’s alright?” you ask. He nods again. “If something is getting too much or you’re starting to feel uncomfortable, just say yellow.” God, saying it aloud brings you back. You remember that Kei had started touching you, kissing you at this point, but all you want to do is stare at Tadashi, see the understanding and attention. “If something is too much and you want to stop immediately, then say red and we’ll stop, make sure you’re okay.”

He nods again, but not one curt nod like the rest of them, more desperate, repetitive, like he wants you to stop talking, not because he doesn’t care, but because he knows what’s ahead and he wants it to come faster. You give in, moving your hand down his shoulder, leaning in to press your lips against his ear. “If you can’t breathe, mouth full, can’t verbally communicate, just 3 nice hard taps against me or Kei and we’ll stop.”

A whimper slips out from between his teeth in lieu of a nod, but you want to hear it in stumbling confirmation. “Understand?” mhm “Say it. Need to hear you say it, Dashi.”

“Yea- I mean, yea, yes. I understand.”

You stand up straight, towering over top of Tadashi. “I’m in control tonight.” You’re not sure how Kei looks behind you, taller than you, you know that, but you wonder if his height makes you look less in control than you feel. You wonder if his facial expression is making Tadashi doubt your dominance over the situation. You didn’t really talk about this, Kei and you, not in detail, not about power dynamics. Truthfully, if you had, you’re not sure you would be in this position right now.

It’s comfortable for you to be right between Kei and Tadashi in the order of power, but to declare that you’re in control, not just of Tadashi, but just in general, it’s stepping out of your comfort zone.

“Y-You?” Tadashi asks innocently enough, eyes flitting from you to just behind you where you know that Kei is standing. Part of you, the safe part, wants to quiet down, wait for Kei to answer for you, to either protect you or scoff at the notion. That part of you doesn’t win.

Rather, you bend down again, eyes level with Tadashi’s. “If that’s a problem, I can leave instead.”

“No, it’s not- I’m not- I didn’t- I’m sorry!” he starts immediately.

“Don’t question me again or I’ll leave,” you repeat.

“I won’t. I won’t.” Tadashi says, not a promise, but you believe it like one.

You turn around, look up at Kei. There’s still that voice inside of you looking for his permission, for his approval. You don’t think that will ever go away. This little voice inside of you comes through in the form of a silent question. If it were anyone else on the receiving end you’d think it’d get lost in translation. Am I doing okay?

“What do you want me to do?” Kei asks plainly, unwavering, like it’s not completely left field for him to be asking you for direction. It’s the perfect answer to your question.

You’re not exactly sure how you’re going to get through this night. You’re exhausted already and you haven’t even really given a command yet. You figure, however, that the best mantra to get you through the night is to just continue to ask for things that you really want. What do you want him to do?

You go with your first instinct and though your voice isn’t as strong as you want it to be, it feels good leaving your mouth. “I want you to carry me upstairs, want Tadashi to follow. And I want to be placed nicely on the bed.”

Kei moves immediately, hoisting you up and letting you wrap your arms around his neck. There’s no hesitance to just doing what he’s told. You assume, for now at least, that it’s because the tasks aren’t too demanding or degrading. You’ll be waiting for backlash for the rest of the night.

You don’t have to direct any of the demands to Tadashi. He hears you and he listens, waiting just enough time to give you a breath of space and then following you like a puppy. By the time Tadashi enters the room, Kei is placing you, exactly as you asked, nice and gentle on the bed.

It’s so much different than normal. Kei is always attentive, always makes sure that you’re taken care of, but it’s so different . His hands follow your body as he lies you down, making sure that there is a cushion of his palm between each inch and the bed as it comes in contact. God, you wish you could feel it on your skin.

“Am I allowed to kiss you?” Kei asks. You can’t detect any amount of snide smirk or tone, have to take it as sincere despite months and months of experiences screaming in your head. Your stomach is in knots and you want to say yes just because he asked, but making him wait feels like it’ll have a better payoff in the end.

“Not yet,” you say, low like a whisper. It’s not loud enough for Tadashi to hear, not meant to show your dominance or prove yourself. It’s a moment just for you and Kei. His eyebrows raise and then furrow, a remark starts to bubble, but he shuts it down before it reaches his throat. You don’t know where Tadashi is, but you don’t care either. You’re following your wants, pushing your fingertips through Kei’s blonde locks and making soft fists. “I want you to want it more.”

You let go quickly, as soon as it’s about to elicit a response, and then you press on his shoulders with the heel of your palm, digging your fingernails into the tops just hard enough for him to really feel it . As soon as he’s stood up, standing at the foot of the bed, so familiarly over top of you, you ask, “Aren’t you going to ask me what else I want?”

He swallows the alternative response and asks just that, “What do you want now, (y/n)?”

You hook your fingers into your waistband. Both Kei’s and Tadashi’s eyes follow the movement as you push your shorts and panties down to your ankles. They’re still dangling off of one of your ankles after you maneuver one foot out of one side, spreading your legs apart and realizing just how bold you’re being tonight.

You hadn’t realized, though, how wet you had gotten from just a few small actions. It was a mix of the newfound control and the way that they were both listening to you so well. It was the possibilities of tonight and how Kei, right now, was about to do whatever came out of your mouth.

“I want you to eat me out,” you say. You could’ve stopped there, short and sweet, but the words tumble out and you don’t regret them one bit, “Want you to say please and thank you. You don’t do that very often.” Kei’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t talk back.

“And I want Tadashi to watch,” you say to Kei and then turn to face Tadashi, “I want you to watch. Like last time.” You glance down to the small tent in Tadashi’s pants, let your eyes linger as an added explanation. “Just like last time. Do you understand?” Your tone is a mixture, a condescending softness.

Tadashi lifts his hand, brings it steadily down to his bulge, but hesitates before touching himself through the fabric. “Now?” he asks.

You give a small laugh, “The show hasn’t even started yet, but yes, if you’re that desperate.”

You don’t know how quickly Tadashi is to start to touch himself because Kei hooks his arms underneath your legs and pulls your pussy against his mouth in one motion. You keep repeating to yourself that you’re in control. You have to keep reminding yourself or you would, probably instantaneously, slip back into doing whatever Kei wanted you to do.

Actually, even while you’re repeating to yourself that you’re in control, every part of you wants to close your eyes, lay back, and just let Kei do whatever he wants to do, and you know that tonight is all about what you want, but this is a once in a lifetime experience and you’re going to take advantage of it. You grab a fistful of Kei’s hair, pulling his head away from you in a way that surprises both of you.

“Say please.” It’s not nearly as cocky and confident and strong as you want it to be. In fact, it’s followed by an airy laugh from yourself because it’s so out of place. “Kei, baby, say please.”

“Please.” It’s not nearly as pleasing and desperate and appreciative as you want it to be. You cock your head.

“That doesn’t sound like you really want to eat me out,” you furrow your eyebrows. You tighten your fist in his hair. “So say please.”

His eyes widen and he groans at your harsh grip, “Please, can I eat you out?”

“I still feel like you don’t really want to taste me, baby. I feel like you don’t want to bury your face in between my legs and eat me until I come all over your face.” You’re talking down to him now and the confidence is building in your chest as you watch his facial expressions shift. His mouth is basically watering. “I know you want that, so why don’t you ask really nicely and maybe I’ll let you.”

The pleasing, desperate, appreciative tone that you wanted is there and, with it, a bit of embarrassment to have to ask for something you usually beg for. “I- Please, can I please eat you out? I want to taste you and eat you, please.” His voice is more timid than you’ve ever heard it and it’s making your stomach flutter more than how close he is to you.

“You’re gonna make me come all over your pretty face, aren’t you?” you ask, slowly pulling his face towards your pussy. He’s moving with you, mouth opening as he gets centimeters away, but you stop him. “I asked you a question.”

“Yes,” he nods, trying to finish the motion and bury his face in between your legs.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I’m going to make you come,” he mumbles. You can see just how much he wants to skip this part, but you’re having so much fun.

“Where am I going to come?” you smirk.

“All over my face,” Kei answers, knowing full well he’s not giving you the answer that you want.

“All… over… your…,” you say slowly, tilting his face upwards to look you directly in the eyes, watching the warmth spread across his features.

“Gonna make you come all over my pretty face,” Kei finally finishes.

“Now say please,” you tease.

“Please,” he says quickly.

“Pretty please?” you push on.

“Pretty please, fuck, (y/n), please let me eat you out. Please. I need to fucking eat you out. I need to feel your come on my tongue, need to taste it, need to please you and feel your thighs against my cheeks. Pretty please,” he spews, hoping that this time he actually gets to do what he’s been wanting to do since he knelt between your legs.

The last thing he sees before being pulled into your pussy is your huge smile. “Good boy, see, that wasn’t too hard.”

Between your legs, Kei has some ounce of control. He knows exactly what he’s doing and how to make you squirm and even though he had to say please a million times to get here and will have to stop when you say stop and follow your orders as you give them, until then, he gets to do whatever he wants.

There’s no teasing, no build up. You’re so wet, dripping from teasing him and the control you felt with Tadashi. Kei doesn’t let a drop go to waste, running the flat of his tongue between your lips and prodding at your hole with the tip of his tongue. He doesn’t want to waste another second without his tongue deep inside of your tight little hole.

He fucks his tongue in and out of you, pressing his face as hard into you as he can in an attempt to get his tongue so deep inside you. You help as much as you can, both hands at the back of his head, pulling and tugging at his hair, clawing at his neck and back and as far down as you can reach. He knows how sensitive your hole is, feels it quivering against his tongue.

He knows your body better than you do, knows exactly how to make you come. After all of the teasing you did, all of the talk, he can’t think of anything he wants more than to make you come as quickly as possible.

You weren’t going to stop him.

“Holy fuck, Kei, oh my god.”

His lips are moving against your clit as he tries to fuck his tongue into you deeper. He’s moving his entire face, the tip of his tongue harsh against your hole as his nose nudges against your clit. The motions are perfectly repetitive just like he knows you like it. The louder that your moans get and the harder that you start to squirm and the tighter your hands grip, the more motivated Kei is. “Gonna, fuck, I’m gonna come all over your pretty face,” you tell him between moans.

Your core is tightening and your body is convulsing, but you can’t let go. You need to hear him. He needs to tell you. You want him to tell you. “Kei, fuck, tell me. Please, tell me. Let me come, please. Please.” There is no remorse, not even after the fact. Part of that comes with the lack of snide remarks or tone from Kei, the other part comes with just how close you are and how hard you’re about to fall.

“Come, baby, come all over my pretty face, please, please come for me. Please come all over my pretty face,” he says against your pussy, but you can hear each word so clearly. That’s all it takes for you to come undone. You let go, head hitting the mattress harshly as you grab onto his hair even harder. His name is the only thing coming out of your mouth, the only thing on your mind until it isn’t.

“Again, again, again,” you say, repeating as you nod at him.

He listens instantly, diving back between your legs and continuing to eat you out. He doesn’t have to tell you to come the second time or the third or the fourth. You let them roll over you like waves, coming as soon as your body allows you to.

“Okay, okay, fuck, okay, that’s enough,” you breathe. He doesn’t stop, driven by the pure bliss in the reactions you’ve given him and the way that you dropped control for a passing moment. He wants to feel it again, taking control from you. You almost let him. “Fuck, Kei, enough,” you repeat, more stern this time.

He lifts his head from between your legs, face a mess, hair tangled, breath ragged. “What do you say?” you ask, not even letting him compose himself before responding.

“Thank you,” he says, and honestly, he looks just as grateful as the labored appreciation sounds.

You push yourself up despite how much you want to just sit with Kei’s warm cheek against the fat of your thigh and despite how tired you are from everything that just happened and despite how you want to hear Kei thank you forever. “Kei, get him prepped for me, yea?” You miss the initial reaction from Tadashi, only catch the end of his attempts to compose himself and the lasting redness on his cheekbones. You don’t say another word until you’ve made it to the doorframe. “Dashi, Kei’s in charge while I’m gone, listen good, okay?”

You catch the faintest glimpse of Kei’s smirk as he stands tall once again, making his way over to the corner of the room that Tadashi was frozen in. The second that you’re out of view, you let yourself breathe, let your shoulders slump and your legs wobble as much as they want. You grab your bag that you left at the front door and change in the familiar bathroom closest to the top of the stairs.

You went all out, decided that if you were going to do this, you were going to do this right. The thick main harness was just one part of the intricate buckles, straps, and fasteners. You had tried it on before, the first time that you got it. Kei helped you put it on, tightened the straps and moved each piece so it fit snug and comfortable.

The top belt sits on your waist, thick faux leather straps with buckles on each side adorned to a ring that rests on your stomach. The second set of straps holds the main ring in place, two fasteners tightly fit against your hips. You slide the dildo into the ring before tightening the straps to your liking. It’s heavy between your legs, thick and lengthy, deceivingly lifelike to the touch and eye.

As you’re putting the finishing touches onto your look, fixing the harness and making sure that everything is exactly as you want it to be, the soft and subtle noises that you’ve been hearing from the other room become louder. The noises quickly fill the entire upstairs. You’re sure at this point that Kei has asked Tadashi not to hold back, has told him explicitly not to.

There is a lot of gratitude coming from Tadashi and only as he’s practically screaming can you hear what he’s thanking Kei for.

“Thank you for getting me ready for (y/n),” Tadashi cries. “Feels so good, so good, fingers feel so good thank you, Kei.”

It sends a shiver down your spine, the amount of desperation and the sincerity of the thank you.

You gently press open the cap to the lube, letting a stream of the cool liquid coat the top side of the silicone cock. You use your thumb and palm to spread it over the skin, twisting your wrist and slathering the slick liquid all over, pouring a generous amount on the tip and watching it drip from the head. You know that it’s not really yours, that it’s not actually attached to you, that you don’t feel from it, and yet, as you push your hips forward, as the cock slides between the hole you’ve created with your fist, your core feels warm and you let out a small moan.

The walk back to the room feels like a mile. You know that the two of them are undoubtedly too enthralled in their own actions right now to notice you at the door. It’s not a bad thing though. You get to watch for a few moments. They don’t know you’re there, aren’t acting in any sort of way for an audience or praise.

Tadashi has taken your spot. His legs are high in the air, held up by his hands grasped around his ankles. Kei holds a bottle of lube in one hand and is fucking 4 fingers into Tadashi’s hole with the other.

Tadashi’s cock, rock hard and angrily red, is slapping against his stomach every time that Kei’s fingers bottom out. The back of his head is pressed into the mattress so hard, but his eyes are trained on Kei, bottom lip quivering whenever involuntary noises weren’t tumbling from them, sheets bunched up against sweaty palms.

You could’ve watched this all night. You’re sure that if you hadn’t interrupted them they would’ve continued all night, partially because you didn’t give them instruction to stop, but also because the determination and joy in Kei’s demeanor matches Tadashi’s desperation perfectly. There’s something about Kei’s actions that makes it incomparable to how he acts with you, something about the fact that even though he’s in control, he’s just following directions.

“Is he ready?” you ask, followed by an observation, “Looks like you’re just doing this for him now.”

They’re startled at your voice, immediately taken out of the intense moment that the two of them were in, but there’s no disdain for the deprivation of the transfixion. The only word to describe the look on their faces is gawking. There is less surprise in Kei’s given he’s seen you in it before, but that doesn’t stop the harsh swallow or the dwelling gaze over your chest, down to your waist, following the straps.

Tadashi isn’t as subtle. His face is bright red, blushing, gasping for air from just being stretched. He pushes up from the bed, props himself on his elbows, and just stares. You can practically feel his heartbeat from where you’re standing in the doorway. “Is that for me?” he asks, void of the confidence the question deserves, tongue wetting his lips.

You walk over, agonizingly slow, cock in hand. “Why don’t you turn around and I’ll show you?”

By the time you’ve made it to the edge of the bed, Tadashi has scrambled over himself and gotten on all fours, as if any delay would result in you giving up on the notion. You climb onto the bed, knees sinking into the mattress as you take in the sight before you. Tadashi looks rigid, not knowing when the next order or movement is coming, eyes forward on the pale wall.

The second that the soft skin of your palms comes into contact with his hips, he melts into you, pushing back into your touch. His shoulders slump, head falls down, staring at the comforter below him instead. “Is this alright? Are you ready?” you ask, leaving one palm resting on his hip, but using the other hand to guide the tip of the dripping dildo against Tadashi’s stretched hole.

The answer is evident in the urgency of his whimpers and the desperation in his reactions, but you need to hear it coming out of his mouth. “I’m not going to fuck you until you tell me you’re ready for it,” you clarify.

“Yes, yes, I’m ready, please,” Tadashi answers.

“Good boy.” There’s only a second between the finishing of your praise and you pressing your hips forward. It’s slow, but the pace is necessary no matter how badly you want to watch him take it all right this instant. You’re using your hand to guide the thick cock into Tadashi’s tight hole. You don’t need to physically feel it to know how tight it is, to see the rim swallowing the dildo.

The moans and whimpers have ceased, replaced by labored breaths and diffused whines. You’d ask him questions, try to elicit some sort of verbal reply to the process, but he looks so focused on taking your cock. Still, you guide him through it, not just with the small kneading that you’re doing into his hip and the slow pace you’ve adapted, but with small coos of appreciation. “You’re doing so great, Dashi, fuck. It looks so good back here, you taking my nice thick cock just like that.”

As soon as you don’t need your hand to guide the dildo, you lace it into Tadashi’s hair. It’s so soft. You can barely grasp any of it, can’t reach until he picks his head up and pushes it back into your hand. You feel disgustingly powerful now, hand weaved into Tadashi’s hair, slowly thrusting in and out of Tadashi’s ass.

It takes a few beats for Tadashi to fully stretch around the girth of your cock, but with every gentle fuck into him, his whines turn back into whimpers which turn into throaty moans. “Can I go faster now?” you ask with a genuine softness. “Can you handle it?” with less genuine softness. He nods, choking out a few yeses amongst the noises.

You reward him with praise once again, “Good boy, huh, Tadashi? Are you my good boy?” You punctuate the question with a hard thrust, your hips meeting his ass in one fluid motion. His hair is tugged by your harsh grip and, with it, his lax body every time that you pull your hips away.

He’s putty in your hand, malleable. The harder that you fuck him, the louder his moans get, the more power you feel. “Fuck, Dashi, it’s like I can fucking feel how pathetic you are squeezing my goddamn cock. So tight, so fucking perfect.” Your hips are on fire from repeatedly slamming into him, your palms are so sweaty that you can barely get a good grip, resorting to using your nails to anchor in place instead. Praise keeps falling out of your mouth so quickly that you’re not even sure what you’re saying half the time. It’s fast and you’re in control and he’s listening to you and you’re so drunk with this feeling.

You can’t stop ramming into him, glad, actually, for once that you can’t feel how good Tadashi’s tight hole is squeezing your cock. It lets you fuck him relentlessly, no worry in the world about stamina even if your glutes and core are on fire from the constant motion. You don’t want to stop, can’t, not with how fucking perfect he looks, not with how fucking obedient he’s being.

“I know you just want to be good, Dashi, fuck, we’ll teach you to be good, you’re being so good,” you moan.

It’s like you’re a completely different person here, so vastly different than the last time you were in this bedroom. You don’t miss it, not even a little bit. Well… at least not at this exact moment.

With no word from you, Kei has just been standing there, behind you, just watching . All of your attention is on Tadashi, soaking in his noises and body language, you’ve barely even noticed Kei. One quick glance over your shoulder and you can see how mesmerized he looks taking it all in, seeing you in this new element. You see the bulge in his pants, the little satisfaction that he is getting from his own palm. After doing so much already, he deserves better than what he’s giving himself now.

“Do what you do best, Kei. Abuse his throat,” you command, trying to keep a steady voice through your wandering thoughts and thrusts. You don’t have to ask him twice, barely have to finish the three word demand and he’s walking around to the other side of the bed.

He gets to see the side that you don’t get to see, the mouth agape and wet lashes. All that you get to see is the smirk that plagues the bottom half of Kei’s face as soon as Tadashi is in view. Your thrusts are slower now, but still at a steady enough pace to appreciate the subtle ripples in the fat of Tadashi’s ass, letting Kei get a good hold on the situation, giving up just a small fraction of your control so that Kei can have his way with Tadashi.

You offer a bit of advice as Kei is undoing his buckle. “It’s easy to pleasure Kei,” you breathe, “You just let him do whatever he wants to you.” You can practically feel Tadashi tighten around you.

“Open,” Kei says as soon as his cock is exposed to the air. “Wider than that, Tadashi, don’t insult me.” Both of Kei’s hands are braced on either side of Tadashi’s face as Kei pushes the tip of his cock past Tadashi’s lips. “Just like that, good.” Kei’s voice is monotonous, if only a bit condescending. “Keep that hole nice and tight for me.”

You watch Tadashi shiver as he drinks up every single word. Tadashi has been on the reciprocating end of Kei’s smart mouth before, but not like this. Even the last time he was in this room with the two of you, the directions that he was following only affected himself. Tadashi knows how poor he’s been at pleasing you in the past and he really just wants to be good, wants to listen and learn.

Kei shallowly thrusts in and out of Tadashi’s mouth, the head of his cock repeatedly slipping past Tadashi’s wet lips. “Use that slutty fucking tongue, Tadashi. You’re not doing anything, just sitting there getting railed, the least you could do is move your tongue.” Kei lets his head fall back, something evidently changing in the technique that Tadashi is using. “Good.”

The more that Kei seems to be enjoying it, the deeper his thrusts go, the faster his pace. It doesn’t take long for Kei to start using Tadashi like he uses you. If Tadashi didn’t look like he was enjoying himself as much as he did, pushing back onto your cock, whimpering and gagging around Kei’s, you would have stopped and taken his place.

He couldn’t make you come for years, even as you tried to guide him, begged him as you cried out instructions, but there was something so different about the way he’s going down on Kei.

You had directed him in the past, nudged his face where you wanted it to be, wrapped your legs around his neck to pull him deeper, but none of it mattered. He just couldn’t make you come.

But there was something so distinctly different about the way Kei was treating Tadashi. There was no begging or asking, and directing wasn’t the right word, neither was guiding. Kei now has a commanding hold of Tadashi’s face, one hand on either side as he moves Tadashi’s mouth up and down his cock. His hips are still, letting Tadashi’s head bob through the complete motion.

When Kei’s methods catch your eye, you can’t help but stop to take it in, no longer watching the ripples in his skin as your hips meet his ass, now watching it unfold from this angle, from behind Tadashi, your cock engulfed by his tight hole.

Kei’s long fingers bracket Tadashi’s face, pushing into his jaw, neck, cheek, wherever he could reach, and wherever he needed to adjust to get the most perfect angle. It’s mesmerizing.

And it’s so different from the way he handles you. Sometimes he holds your face like that, moves you so agonizingly slow on his length that your throat will hurt for days after, but there’s always an amount of trust.

This in front of you? The way that Kei is so meticulously moving Tadashi, the way that he’s leaving nothing up to assumption or interpretation, this is Kei teaching.

He’s wordless about it, doesn’t teach Tadashi through verbal instructions or lengthy explanations, he just shows him exactly what he wants. It’s almost more condescending than if Kei was talking down to him in a way, like he’s too stupid to understand what he means, so he can only show him.

You don’t think Tadashi catches this or thinks this far or has any thoughts at all right now other than controlling his breathing and every single muscle in his mouth and throat. It’s not a normal state of being, you know that well.

You catch a glimpse of Kei’s face, manage to pull your attention away from the thick cock splitting Tadashi open and Kei’s strong hands on Tadashi’s jaw. His face is strewn with pleasure and concentration. You don’t normally get to watch Kei from this angle nor this intently. You watch his eyebrows furrow together, his jaw clench between slow exhales, his features soften and his eyes flutter close every once and awhile. You’re cursing yourself for never having filmed the two of you having sex. You would watch this on repeat if you could.

“Kei,” you breathe, ready to repeat yourself on account of how quiet his name is in comparison to the lewd sounds that are bouncing off the walls. Kei looks up at you immediately with an air of confusion, waiting for another command or instruction. When nothing else comes, he doesn’t break eye contact like you thought he might. He’s not paying attention to Tadashi save for the mindless thrusting. “God, you look so good right now.”

He clicks his tongue at the compliment, shaking his head a small amount before returning his focus, looking back down almost quick enough to hide the subtle blush on his cheekbones. You don’t force him to look back at you, though you know that you could, but you still want to have some sort of contact with him. You are becoming increasingly aware of how much you want to be where Tadashi is and how much you want to feel Kei’s skin on yours.

Tadashi’s voice pulls you out of it, the repetition of your name that follows his gasping for air. “Want, want to- So good- Need to come,” Tadashi manages to get out in between harsh swallows and intakes of air.

“Not yet.” It comes out of your mouth without any thought and you realize why Kei does this so often. The sense of power that comes alongside controlling Tadashi’s orgasm is mindblowing. Even if he came right now, didn’t listen to you at all, you would have rode this high for weeks.

Tadashi does listen, though. He whimpers a small okay before Kei starts using his throat again. You claw your fingernails into his hips, pressing hard enough to leave small indents in his soft skin, and you pull him onto your cock to match your thrusts. “Look at that, see, you didn’t need to cum, not yet, Dashi, being such a good boy.”

Kei only gets to fuck Tadashi’s throat for a few moments before Tadashi is pulling away once again. “I- I can’t hold it any longer, please,” Tadashi’s voice cracks as he begs. “Please.” You pull out in one motion leaving Tadashi gaping and empty in front of you.

“Then come, Tadashi,” you say in a tone that is eerily as condescending as Kei’s. You run your hands down Tadashi’s side, grabbing onto his ass and spreading him open as wide as you can. “If you can’t hold it, then cum.”

Tadashi is thrusting into the air. “I- I can’t.”

“You’ve come without touching yourself before,” your voice is stern but steady at first, but as you keep thinking about it, there is a simmering underlying anger that is emerging. “Sat right there on the corner of the bed and came in your pants like a pathetic little cuck.”

You grab Tadashi by the shoulder, flipping him over onto his back. “Kei, pillow under his head so he can look at me while I’m fucking talking to him.” Kei doesn’t hesitate for a second, puts the pillow underneath Tadashi’s head so that his line of sight is directly at your face, eyes narrowed as you continue.

“When no one is paying attention to you, when you’re watching your ex get railed and satisfied in a way that you never could, you lose your mind. You’ll shoot your load, make a fucking mess all over yourself, but when I’m here giving you everything that you could ever want, you can’t fucking come?”

You positioned yourself between Tadashi’s legs, the head of the dildo grazing his hole. “What? When Kei tells you to do it you can, but when I tell you to come after pounding my fat fucking cock in and out of you, you can’t? Do you know how fucking pathetic that is?”

Tadashi’s chest is rising and falling faster, his breath is labored and he’s not breaking eye contact with you. You can tell just how close he is.

“I won’t tell you again. Instead, I’ll just fucking leave. Come. Now.” You wrap your hand around his throat, leaning your weight into your grip as his face scrunches up in ecstasy. His lips are moving, but no sound is coming out and only when you ease up on your grip can you hear the gratitude that he’s repeating in between the grunts.

His come spills from the head of his cock, lazily dripping down the sides of his rock hard erection and down his twitching balls. He’s struggling to keep his hands at his side and not jerk himself off through his orgasm.

“Is that all it took?” you scoff, pressing the head of the dildo against his asshole, catching some of his come as it drips down. “Still hard though, right, Dashi? Still want to get fucked?” You don’t give him time to answer before pushing your hips forward, slowly spearing him with your cock as tears fall from his eyes.

“Yes, fuck, please, I want to come again,” Tadashi begs, eyes not leaving yours.

“Greedy,” you shake your head, but you can’t hide your smirk as you pick up the pace. In this position you get to watch his face as you ruin him. The tears that are running down his face, wetting his cheeks and long lashes, just make it that much hotter. His cock is slapping against his stomach as thrust in and out of him.

It doesn’t take long before his breaths are closer together, back is arching, hips rolling, and he’s nodding in your direction. “I- I’m already so close. Can- I need- I want-.”

“What do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you. You’ve been so good, came for me without anything but my voice, took Kei’s cock so well, just tell me what you want,” you say.

No one has touched his cock all night, covered in his own come, violently twitching against himself as it slaps against his stomach.

His eyes are screwed shut, thrusting up into nothing, consequently fucking himself on your cock, you’re sure that he’s going to ask to touch himself. In your mind, there’s no other option, nothing that he would feel comfortable enough asking for.

It leaves his mouth so confidently. He trusts you so much, knows that you wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true, so he asks for exactly what he wants and he’s so assured as he does.

“Want Tsukki’s mouth on my cock.”

You look up to see Kei’s reaction, refuse to do it if there is any sort of discomfort or distaste, but there’s nothing of the sort. He gives a short nod, a nod that Tadashi is too fucked out to notice. You don’t slow your pace or allow a falter in your rhythm as you watch Kei climb onto the bed. He’s gentle as he takes Tadashi’s cock into his mouth, captures the head first, swirling his tongue around the tip before taking the entire length. Kei doesn’t seem to struggle much, easily takes it to the base.

Tadashi is surprised despite the fact that he’s the one that asked for it so nicely. His eyes flutter shut, truly taking in every single feeling and sensation that is happening to him right now. Tadashi’s hips are thrusting up into Kei’s mouth now, moaning as he slides down Kei’s throat and then falls down onto your cock.

“Gonna- Can I? Please,” Tadashi can barely say more than two words at a time, but you know exactly what he’s asking for.

“Go ahead, Dashi, come, you deserve it.”

As soon as you say the word, he’s coming down Kei’s throat. You watch it drip from the corners of Kei’s mouth as Tadashi keeps thrusting desperately. Tadashi is thanking you and thanking Kei and mumbling other words that you can’t quite pick up. His hands are roaming, trying to find a place to land. One finds a spot lightly on Kei’s shoulder and you meet the other hand with your own, locking your fingers with his as he holds onto you through his orgasm.

Kei waits for Tadashi to calm down before pulling his head off of his cock. Kei wipes his lips and you can tell there's a smart comment that wants to come out so badly, but he doesn’t get the chance to say it.

“Thank you,” Tadashi says, eyes shutting every other second. You’re surprised that he’s still awake after two back-to-back orgasms like that. His eyebrows furrow and he perks up just a little bit, “but, wait, what about- what about you guys?”

You shake your head, carefully getting up from the bed, cautious not to disturb Tadashi as Kei gently positions him more comfortably in bed. You unbuckle the straps on your harness, taking it off and stepping out of it. You feel so light without the extra weight between your legs.

You manage to get in bed before Kei reaches for the covers and extra blankets. “This wasn’t about us,” you assure Tadashi. “Thank you for letting us in and for trusting us enough to do this again.” You feel the mattress dip behind you as Kei climbs underneath the covers he’s laid on top of the two of you.

In the morning there will be more to say, more conversations to be had, boundaries to set and feelings to talk out, but for now… for now you are happily in bed, surrounded and warm, and you know that your company is too.

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kurisus · 11 months

Text

Chapter 108-2 thoughts

This was the most "IT'S SO OVER" "WE'RE SO BACK" chapter ever. Spoilers under the cut.

I am a leetol bit disappointed that Bishamon didn't really get to do anything this arc. She was unconscious for a majority of it, then woke up, went looking for Kazuma, and found him without like, needing to shake some people up. It is sweet how they finally got to have a proper conversation though. Their lack of communication has been a frustrating blind spot for both of them this entire story, so I'm glad they were able to come to peace with it.

I do wonder if Kazuma told her about being named by Yato, or if he dodged that fact, but I'm going to assume since we didn't get a live Bishamon reaction that he did tell her and she understood his reasoning.

"You are the only one who can save yourself" is kind of a strange statement out of context since this whole manga has been about overcoming trials with the help of the people who love you. But in context, Bishamon was saying that praying to a higher power is meaningless and individuals are the only ones capable of miracles. Kind of an atheistic message from a manga where a majority of the characters are Literal deities, but as an allegory for the world, I kinda dig it. Don't believe in miracles, make them happen with your own two hands and the people who love you.

Okay now I need to talk about Yukine this chapter. I Need To. His love for Hiyori and Yato had me pounding my fist on the ground. HE HELD HIYORI'S HAND. HE CLUNG TO YATO WHEN HE STARTED DISAPPEARING. HE DOESN'T WANT HIS DAD TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ADACHITOKA I AM JUST A GUY PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY FRAGILE HEART.

FATHER IS FINALLY DEAD SEND OUT THE CRABS. I'm glad his death was quiet and unceremonious, and not even Mizuchi was tempted by him.

It seems like the real Fujisaki was trying to say Father's name but couldn't quite recall it, so I'm thinking we'll get to hear it from Ebisu's mouth next chapter. Then again, we didn't get to hear Nana's real name either, so it may just stay as "ta" forever. Which is funny to think about as in like, "ta" for "bye." Bye bitch!

The pages of the trio + Nora all together and begging Hiyori to come back singlehandedly caused the most emotional damage. I know everyone else is freaking out about the Yatori CPR/kiss but I am just wishing the circumstances were more ideal for it. I will say it is pretty Kyoru of them to kiss while she's unconscious, though.

But, eh, her being alive was way more of a concern to me, so that was the reason I went ahead and read the official version early. I let out the BIGGEST sigh of relief when she woke up in the hospital.

Before I reflect more though, I wanted to say also I was pretty confused by Amaterasu's statement in the official translation, though fast-moon's helped clear it up. Hiyori didn't become a full shinki because she was named in the illusory dimension, and she was saved by the act of killing Father?

"You were carrying the ancient koto no ha with you as well" is the "you" referring to Father or Yato? Did Yato name Hiyori with the brush, or was she talking about Father having both on him?

Okay, so, reflections. Am I happy they temporary killed Hiyori? Still no. I would have preferred they damage her cord instead rather than way back when, when the wolves attacked her. Am I happy they brought her back? Obviously. It would be a bad ending if they left off on that, and I'm curious to see if/how much she'll remember in the final chapter.

Do I think Yato is dead? I sure hope not! This is also a death that would negate a whole lot of character development, and while I like the narrative parallel of her dying to save him so he dies to save her (esp considering how selfish he was at the start of the manga), I don't want Yukine to be left alone or with a baby Yato at the end of everything. I'm scared, because I think it's not off the table.

Am I happy with the ending? Remains to be seen, but while I have quibbles and hangups, it's not that much. It's not of the story-ruining variety for me, anymore. I kind of would have preferred a softer ending to the manga, for example. This entire story has had very high stakes for everyone involved, so they didn't need to up the ante with these constant main character death scares, imo. We were already quite deep in the shit. I also wish Hiyori had had more to do in the final arc before she saved the day by...dying.

But to say I didn't enjoy the journey of this arc would be a lie. It's been a long few years...almost 10 since I watched the anime, almost 9 since I read the manga, and mainly it'll be weird to say goodbye to this era of my life, and not have the monthly stress of chapters hanging over my head.

I was hoping Adachitoka would announce a new series, but it hasn't happened yet, and I'm not sure it will because they've been unable to commit to full chapters for a while now. Even before the hiatus in 2017, the chapters dropped from 45 pages to 40, and then we've been halfsies since 2018. Whatever caused Adachitoka to go on hiatus, it's been enough of an issue that they can't draw 45 pages on a monthly schedule anymore (and honestly, I don't blame them, as we all know mangaka schedules are brutal). Also, taking Alive into account, they've been drawing manga for 20 years. This might be their final story, or they might write another with an assistant. Either way, if they do something else, regardless of their role I'll definitely be checking it out!

So now that Hiyori has been undoomed from the narrative the wedding reread is back on. I'll be starting it soon here, all tagged with #Noragami reread and hopefully some of you will join me as well! Feel free to send me your thoughts on the chapter/the ending.

#Noragami #Noragami spoilers #Noragami manga #live update #I am still. gathering the pieces of me that this chapter left on the floor

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she-who-fights-and-writes · 1 year

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Hi, I love your page btw! I was just wondering how I could write a first person POV book with switching POVs. It's like a collective journal they all write on but I don't know how to transition, when to switch the POVs or anything for that matter. Is this just a dumb idea or is there any way this can work? Thanks!

Thank you so much for sending an ask, anon!

Writing multiple POVs can be incredibly difficult, especially if all of the characters are speaking in first person; if there aren’t clear, cut-and-dry distinctions about which character is narrating, readers can get lost and confused. I commend any and all writers who are willing to take on this astronomical task!

Here are two ideas I came up with for you to choose from!

1. LINE BREAKS

If you’re looking for a more intimate, interconnected feeling to your multiple POVs, try using line breaks! Line breaks can be symbols (#### or ****), dashes (----), or just big spaces that separate one section of the story and the next within a single chapter. They can be used for time skips as well as switching POVs!

Using line breaks can be a great way to represent switching POVs if you’re looking for different characters’ reactions to the same event; because there isn’t a huge separation like a chapter break, it makes their experiences seem more interconnected.

It is also helpful for a journal-entry style story, since some people don’t start journal entries on separate pages, and some entries may be too short to warrant their own chapter.

If you’re using third-person, it’s not a requirement to put the character’s name beneath the line break to represent whose POV it is (although it can help if the character’s name is within the first sentence, so readers can quickly realize who’s speaking).

However, for first-person, I highly recommend that the POV character’s name appears beneath the line break! It can be hard for a reader to know who is speaking in first-person without being explicitly told; even if you’re an excellent writer whose characters each have a distinctive voice, readers who are reading quickly may skip over these hints.

This is one of the primary weaknesses of the Line Break style; no matter if your story is in first-person or third-person, readers who are invested may not realize that the POV has changed and have to backtrack. It is much easier to gloss over a POV change when the only thing your eyes have to skip over is a big space or a cluster of symbols, rather than having to move your gaze to the top of the next page over or having a page turn.

2. CHAPTER BREAKS (i.e. Percy Jackson Style)

This style is often favored by authors, and involves splitting each POV into a separate chapter. Then, in order to indicate who is speaking, they put the character’s name as the chapter title (or alongside the chapter title).

This style works great for switching POVs primarily because of the clear separation of a chapter break, and having a very large and unavoidable indication of which character’s POV it is at the beginning.

I would especially recommend this for those using the first person, since (in my own opinion!), switching first-person POVs within a single chapter (especially if it’s on multiple occasions), can be very hard to keep track of.

One of the cons of this style is that it puts barriers between your characters’ voices, and may be a less desirable style if you want multiple characters reacting to the same event. In addition, if you’re writing a journal-entry style story, some of the entries may be too short to have their own chapter.

Hope this helped, and happy writing!

#switching povs #writeblr #answering asks #writing #writing tips #writers #booklr

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red-riot-unbreakable-heart · 15 days

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Shoto's First Kiss Timeline? Idk let's plot it out together

Gif Caption: Me and Shoto sitting together on the train, vibing. 💕

Hi All!!

If you're a fan of the Shoto's First Kiss series, Chapter 5 dropped at like 3:30 am EST this morning because I am an absolute HEATHEN and decided to have a late night/early morning editing session for 3 hours before posting. This was fun because I decided to add the whole Lisa Frank phone background scene for kicks and add a little more build up to the smut scene (I love a slowish burn...what can I say!?).

@brie-is-cheesy had some great questions in the comments of Chapter 5, I'm going to post it below and answer the best I can! I don't have a full answer to everything and I'm taking some ✨creative liberties ✨ here and there but lets see if I can clear some things up for my lovely readers!

Hiiiii, totally loved it; I was wondering when this is set? Like the timeline, I just got confused I'll leave the list of confusing things about the timeline,, I wrote about how much I love this in my reblog cuz this is awesome!! -since bnha is set in the mid to late 2100s I was wondering if the older songs they're listening to will include songs that are relatively new for us as of now? -when does this occur? Like you mentioned they're in their first year, and its after they've moved into the dorms but it's nearing the summer of next year, so is it after the war arc, or after the events of bnha entirely? Just wanted to ask! Thank you for the update!!<3 - brie-is-cheesy

Okay these are FAB questions and honestly I can't give you a straight answer to all of them!

Here's the background: So this story started out as a one shot - this past year, Shoto hasn't been one of my main MHA favorites. When I started the Red Riot Unbreakable Heart blog, my goal was to focus on what I've been calling "My Big Three." This includes Kirishima (lol thus my username), Hakws, and Hitoshi Shinsou (I love me an emo man). I was sprinkling in smutty one shots here and there involving other characters (ex. BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala and Beneath the Bookshelves | BakuDeku ). Shoto was one of those random one offs that I was like, huh why not!? But then I published Shoto's First Kiss (Part One) this one shot about Reader x Shoto totally took off in a way I wasn't expecting. Shoto resonates a lot with you all and the more I started writing for him, the more I grew to love him. He's so complex and in need of love and care. He has so much capacity for love!! I wanted to explore that more and figure out how he would act in his first encounters with intimacy and relationships. So I kept posting chapters, and started plotting out this wild story!

Timeline: When I started writing the one shot, I wanted the story to ambiguously take place in the 2nd or 3rd year when the characters were a little older. I was kind of working it in an AU where the war had vaguely happened and was over but everyone is okay and no one was injured/died/had their quirk impacted by AFO. In the context of Shoto's First Kiss chapter one - the war doesn't matter (at least if you re-read it I hope you don't find any plot holes mentioning the war!?). Also I have tried to say "Class A" instead of "Class 1A" because as I wrote more chapters, I still hadn't figured out what year we are in here.

Now that we're world building and have a more fleshed out story, here's what I'm thinking. Bare with me, we are going to need to suspend some disbelief here and I might need to go back and make some tweaks to previous chapters to keep everything in line with this line of thinking. But let's say this:

Timeline: The timeline takes place in the character's 1st year. I just combed through this timeline of MHA that someone put together on Reddit. I'm thinking this likely takes place at the end of Term 1. Final exams are coming up, and the students have heard a little about the training camp. Most of the MHA events so far are probably cannon in my fic universe, unless otherwise mentioned. The great thing for me is - most of MHA is in the context of Izuku's experiences, so there's a lot of wiggle room in the timeline for what could be happening between Shoto x The Reader. I haven't decided if the current chapters take place before or after Shoto/Izuku/Ida's encounter with Stain, because I can see some interesting plot points coming from that. I'll think about it!! This may change, but for purposes of continuity I think this could work as I move forward with my plotting!

Age: All the characters are at least 16. Let's just roll with that and take some creative liberties here. I'm aging everyone up.

The Dorms: In this fic universe, I pictured the students moving into the dorms at the start of the year. Like the dorms are just part of the normal UA experience - for all intents and purposes it's a boarding school.

The Songs: Okay this is a really interesting idea! I am literally just putting in playlists of music I like right now, I didn't think much about modern music flowing into the story. Lol would Honenuki listen to BRAT!? Maybe. I love him and think of him as a sweet chill cinnamon roll of a dude, though. I think he would be scandalized by Guess Featuring Billie Eilish. Or maybe he'd love it. He'd def love Chappell Roan, though. Dude is a sloot for Red Wine Super Nova and I just know it!

The Vibe: @ all of my beloved readers - I realize that this story means a lot to people, and I love that!! Even though we explore complex and serious subject matter at times, this is still a goofy silly story that I write for fun! Please don't hold me to these ideas that I'm throwing out in a semi-public brainstorm. I am but a simple fanfic writer who churns out most of the Shoto pages at midnight after I work two jobs. Shoto's First Kiss is a project that I write purely for fun and to build community with other adult MHA fans. I'm not like going to publish this as a book or put it on Patr*on behind a paywall or something. So let's keep it light! That being said, I love interacting with everyone so if there are fun questions that you think would be interesting for me to answer in this story, let me know! I'm very open to hearing thoughts and considering new ideas here :)

Okay okay SORRY FOR SO MUCH INFO! Thanks again @brie-is-cheesy for being so thoughtful in your reading and for asking these great questions! This is def going to help me guide the next few chapters of the story as I plot things out and as we get a satisfying next chapter in The Party arc. I'm going to post this reply on my Master List so we can all keep track of it and come back to it easily if needed.

As always, thanks for reading!! Sending good vibes to all ☺️

XOXO,

Red Riot Unbreakable Heart ❤️

Shoto's First Kiss Series:

Part 1: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋

Part 2: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 2

Part 3: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 3

Part 4: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 4

Part 5: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 5

My Master List

Red's Recos: If you're looking for more fun smutty stories from my writing desk, I'll share 3 of my all time favorites from my Master List. These are all fairly long and have a lot of sexual tension/build up with some satisfying smut scenes:

How to Suck Your Best Friend’s D*ck 🍆💋

BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala

A Long, *Hard* Night with Eijiro Kirishima

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jasmine-green-t · 3 months

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Art from chapter 11 of Diary of the Deserter: Let the Water Fall! This is going to be the last chapter of this version of the fic. Thank you for riding this rollercoaster with me and I hope you all enjoy!

Now for some boring stuff under the cut:

Hi. In the next few paragraphs, I'm going to discuss my plans to basically rewrite Diary of the Deserter. There are a couple of reasons for this which I will detail, but if you're not interested in that, you can skip this long-winded justification for that choice. If you just want to learn to plan for future chapters, read the last two paragraphs.

This fanfiction is one that I started almost 6 months ago. It was my first fanfiction ever, which sometimes come through in my writing. I started it with no idea of how I would continue it. There were no plans or big ideas I wanted to focus on, and so it made many of the chapters a bit... sub-par? I guess that's the right word.

The first chapter is a good establishing chapter, but it had no vision of what future events would be because I hadn't thought that through yet. Similar things can be said for chapters 2 and 3 as well. Because of that, many of the ideas or themes explored in the chapters become repetitive or stale imo.

Additionally, the work doesn't create interesting character dynamics. I didn't really want to make any of the characters adversarial, so I avoided that, and I had no clear idea on how I wanted to characterise Piandao which made him boring to read about. Overall, the characters were a bit flat.

I'm not saying that the entire work was bad of course, just that I can do better and I want to create a work that is better. I don't think I will be satisfied if I just leave it as is.

I have already made a plan to rewrite these chapters and go beyond what has already been written. On top of that, I will have new, simpler art pieces uploaded to ao3 directly with each chapter release. I'm not sure if I'll announce chapter releases on tumblr because that might get a little bit annoying, but I'll see how I feel when I've published the writing.

When I publish the newer chapters, I will dub the original fic "[First Draft] Diary of the Deserter" to avoid confusion. When the new version catches up with the old one, I might even set the old fic to registered ao3 users only, but again, I'll see how I feel about that when the day comes.

Thank you all for your support and I hope you enjoy what comes next.

#diary of the deserter #pianjeong #jeongdao #atla #digital art #pianjeong art

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futuremrsdrcullen · 1 month

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This Love Came Back To Me - Chapter 4

It's Finally Here!!!! I can not apologize enough for how long this took to get out. But here it is! I hope you love it.

Summery- I was completely overwhelmed with this looming dread. This wasn’t just about Bella anymore. Though that was bad enough, this involved me now. Despite how often Edward disregarded my safety and despite how desperately Carlisle tried to protect me from this;

My life was in danger.

It was never going to end was it?

Word Count- 11,920

Warnings- Vampires- and all the things that go along with vampires (blood, biting, age gaps, sparkling, dramatics) a lot more swearing this time. There's some minor injuries and some very minor character death. mentions of vomiting (2 actual vomits, due to injury) Battle, fighting and planning. It's all very happy I promise.

There is no imprinting and there never will be <3

Notes from me- My name is Claire and this! This is finally my third love child. I started writing this on the 27th of July in 2022. I lost hope a few times but it's here and I hope you love it. Thank you, so so much for staying with me.

As always, I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

Read on AO3 <3

Masterlist <3 (Ch 2, Ch 3)

I love you <3 Thank you for still being here <3

While I tried very hard to sleep, I really just laid in our bed curled up next to Carlisle with my eyes closed. Like Bella, I refused to not be in the clearing with them while they met with the wolves to train. I knew sleep was important and yet I couldn’t calm my mind.

He chuckled as I started again “Y/n?”

“I can’t turn my brain off…”

He lifted my chin so he could see my face better, “I can tell. Is it something I can help ease?”

“Maybe…” My eyes met his and I found just enough courage in them to ask my question. “Before us… Was this common?”

“I’m not sure what you mean-”

“Like, before you met me, and Edward met Bella, how often did you guys have to prepare for war?”

“I see. Well, I can’t say that we’ve ever had much of a reason… before now.” He ran his hand through my hair. His confusion still lingered on his face, “Why do you ask, Dove?”

I didn’t want to scare him. I didn’t want to make him worry that I was scared of him or of this life we’d made, but the panic attack earlier wasn’t the first and wouldn’t be the last. My heart beat just a bit faster, he held me tighter.

“I’m worried- only a little- that this will never end. I feel like around every corner there's just more danger. I just keep waiting for the dust to settle and for things to calm down… but what if it never does?”

He listened to my every word and when I’d gotten it all out he moved to his side. I shifted so our faces could be even with each other. He held my face again.

“I have faith that this will pass.” He brushed back the hair that had fallen onto my face. “In just a few days, we’ll have taken care of the newborns and hopefully their source-”

“But we don’t know their source,”

“Yet. But we will. Then soon we will catch Victoria. The Volturi will be quiet for a while, even more so once Bella is a vampire. We’re caught in some turbulence right now, but it will pass.”

“Except once we are vampires, then we’ve broken the treaty and the wolves will be after us. And we can’t seek solace with the Denali’s because they’re mad at us. And the Volturi might give up once we’re vampires or they could just pick another reason to chase after us to get at Edward and Alice.” I took a deep breath

“Is this what you were crying about earlier?” When I nodded he sighed, not out of anger or frustration, but there was something like sadness in it. Like he was only upset that I had carried this with me all day or that he wasn’t sure how to ease some of my worry.

He started again “I know it’s hard to see right now, but things will calm down. At the very least, you’ll be much less fragile than you are now.”

I almost smiled, “I guess I’ll feel a little better when I’m nearly indestructible. I could fight alongside you. It would be easier to breathe through.”

He winced slightly, “We’ll… cross that bridge when we come to it. Hopefully we never have to.” he kissed my forehead and pulled me into his chest, before resting his chin on my head. “We’ll take it day by day and figure it out together. You should try to rest, Cara. It’s going to be a long night.”

With his arms around me and his comforting words replaying in my head, I was finally able to fall asleep. It felt like I’d just barely closed my eyes, but when he woke me again it had been over two hours.

It was still hard to keep my eyes open as we walked into the clearing. Almost everyone had gotten there before us, save for Bella and Edward, who were only a minute behind us. Jasper looked much more relaxed, Alice looked like she already couldn’t wait for this to be over. Rosalie also didn’t seem terribly excited but Emmett ran over to hug me.

“Hey guys!” He greeted the four of us. “Bella, Y/n, are y’all practicing too?” he said with a smirk.

“Definitely not. I’m more of a ‘cheer from the sidelines’ kind of girl, but you guys have fun.” I laughed.

“Thanks, Y/n.” Edward grimaced. “And, Emmett, let’s try to not give them any ideas.” He said them, but I knew he meant Bella. I smiled at him anyway.

Calisle took my hand again and I pushed in closer to his side. “When will our guest arrive?” He asked Edward.

“A minute and a half-” He continued, but I missed the rest of what he was saying while I wondered how he knew. I wondered if people's thoughts sounded different from further away, or if he could see their surroundings through their thoughts.

I consciously reentered the conversation when Bella asked “They’re coming as wolves?” and sharply turned my head towards Edward.

He nodded, cautious of our reaction. I winced and looked up at Carlisle. I’d never seen them as wolves before, and I wasn’t sure that I was all that excited to see them now. I didn’t think I’d be able to tell them apart enough to keep up.

I heard Edwards sharp intake of breath, saw the slight hint of a smile grace his lips. “Prepare yourselves- They’ve been holding out on us.” Which was one of the most confusing things he’d said.

Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who was confused. “What do you mean?” Alice demanded.”

He just shushed her, which was… unhelpful to say the least.

Carlisle gave my hand a quick squeeze before dropping it and they all moved to their positions. This part was easy to grasp, though I was given the rundown before meeting the others here. Rosalie would almost be at the start of the line, but she would also be a few steps behind Emmett. Jasper knew the most but Emmett was the muscle, so they would be the closest to the wolves. Carlisle fell in line next to them, because he was our diplomat and held most of the pack's respect.

Edward, of course, would have been up front as well, but we knew Bella would be glued to his side, so he stayed back. Alice stood to the left of me with Bella on my right and Edward to hers.

“Damn,” Emmett whistled “Did you ever see anything like it?”

I couldn’t see what they were talking about, so I studied their shock. Carlisle and Edward looked the least shocked, but the others looked like they couldn’t believe their eyes. Bella, thankfully, looked as confused as I felt.

“What is it? I can’t see” she whispered.

“The pack has grown.” Edward murmured into Bella’s ear, though I was sure it was only loud enough for our family to hear.

The clearing was still and silent and despite how hard I tried, I could not see what they were still taken aback by. I watched the shadowy forest until I caught just a glimmer of something beyond the trees. Bella gasped as she counted in twos. I wished I could tell what she was counting.

Edward muttered something else, but I missed because Carlisle took a casual step towards them. I knew the plan. Edward would translate, Carlisle and Jasper would lead. Every one of their breaths was planned out yet my heart stuttered as he stepped away.

“Welcome,” he greeted, what looked like nothing except flickers of sparkling… eyes? Were those eyes? They were so high up, I would have guessed they were in the trees.

“Thank you,” Edward responded, his voice flat and unlike his normal tone. I guessed in an instant that he was matching Sam’s tone. I had to choke back a laugh as he continued. “We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self control.”

I rolled my eyes.

Carlisle nodded once and answered, “That is more than enough. My son Jasper-” he motioned towards him, but Jasper didn’t move or even breathe “-has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style.”

“They are different from you?” Edward asked for Sam.

“They are all very new- only months old to this life…”

Carlisle explained newborns in a cautious and practiced way though the rumble from the treeline seemed more excited than cautious. Even as they settled lower to the ground their excitement was palpable.

When Jasper walked further into the clearing my eyes focused on him. He didn’t seem to acknowledge the group behind him at all, but still spoke loud enough for them to hear. He continued Carlisle’s description of the newborns and I think my blood froze over. I had heard most of this before, but it all seemed more daunting in the clearing.

In front of me stood everyone I could lose in the next four days. I couldn’t bear the thought of it. As Emmett stepped up next to Jasper, I looked at my feet. Alice wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I was beginning to wonder if I should have stayed home when I heard the boys start practicing.

Around them, everyone froze. It was over quickly, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of them until it was. Emmett and Jasper moved too quickly around each other for me to fully understand each movement. Jasper was always just a step ahead of Emmett. Emmett was always just a touch too slow to get his hands on Jasper. And then Jasper was behind Emmett, his teeth hovering just above his neck.

Emmett swore.

It sounded like everyone let go of the breath they were holding at the same time. There was even a rumble from the trees.

“Again,” Emmett insisted.

“It’s my turn,” Edward protested from Bella’s side. Bella tensed, but said nothing. I’d guessed that she probably couldn’t get any words out now if she tried.

But it was actually Jasper who spoke up next. “In a minute. I want to show Y/n and Bella something first.”

I froze as my name was spoken, not terribly excited to be acknowledged. Alice gave my shoulder a light squeeze before skipping over to him.

He continued, “I know you worry about her, I want to show you why that’s not necessary.”

I very much did not want to watch this fight, but I never took my eyes away. She seemed so small in the clearing. Jasper floated quickly around her, never really touching her, even though it looked as though Alice never moved. She stood there, smiling, with her eyes closed.

I was completely in awe of her.

I blinked a few times trying to focus only on Alice. I watched as Jasper reached out, but his hands continued to find nothing but air. She was like a fairy, disappearing and reappearing just out of his reach. Their every move matched the others. It was mesmerizing. But as quickly as it had started, Alice was on his back and playfully biting his neck.

“Gotcha,” she said and she kissed his throat.

“You truly are one frightening little monster.” Jasper chuckled.

There was more rumbling from the treeline, but it was impossible to make out what was going on. I glanced quickly at Edward.

“It’s good for them to learn some respect,” He murmured, amused. Then he spoke louder. “My turn.”

Alice traded places with him instead of returning to my side. I was fine with it, knowing Bella needed the support this time. “Cool, huh?” she asked us.

I only nodded, but Bella managed the word “Very,” as Edward met his brother in the middle of the clearing.

Alice pulled closer to Bella and for a second it looked like she was whispering to her, though I couldn’t hear a thing. Not wanting to intrude I shifted my gaze to find Carlisle. He, of course, was intently watching the boys in the field, but I guess he felt my eyes on him and he turned to me.

When his eyes met mine, we were the only ones in the clearing. His eyes were clear, his smile was confident. It was steadying. I took a deep breath and smiled back at him. He looked back at Edward and Jasper first, but I did have the confidence to watch them as well.

They were evenly matched. Where Jasper relied on his instincts, Edward read his moves in his head. Where Edward had speed, Jasper had experience. It went on for longer than the rest. Neither of them ever really gained the upper hand. There was a chortle from where the wolves lurked that made both me and Bella stiffen.

Carlisle cleared his throat.

They instantly broke apart, laughing and grinning at each other like nothing happened.

“Back to work,” Jasper agreed. “We’ll call it a draw.”

As Edward returned to Bella, Carlisle walked up to Jasper and my chest tightened.

It wasn’t as seamless as Jaspers and Edward's fight. Carlisle was deliberate with every blur of motion. It was hard to watch, not only because I could barely see them in the dim morning light but this was Carlisle and the fight felt so real. He didn’t hiss or growl the way the others had. He was calm and calculated. Every move he made mattered and every step he took had a reason. He moved like a well-oiled machine. He moved like he was over three hundred years old and had done this a hundred times.

And Jasper still managed to lay him out flat on his back.

I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut. I knew I didn’t need to panic, but my heart picked up a beat and Bella grabbed my hand. I opened my eyes to thank her only to find that Carlisle had made his way over to me.

He smiled warmly at me and his eyes lightened slightly. He placed a cool hand on my cheek. “It’s only practice, Mon Coeur. I’m alright.”

“I know…” I felt a bit silly and didn’t add that it was only practice right now. That was the thing about practice, it normally led to something real. I dusted grass out of his hair.

There was more grumbling from the trees that I could only assume at this point was the wolves. A small, mischievous smile danced across my face and I placed a hand on his cheek before leaning up to kiss him. There was another grumble then a huff. I laughed and held on a bit tighter to him, if only to resist flipping off the trees.

This time Carlisle fell in line beside me and his arm stayed firmly around my waist. We returned to silently watching the rest of his family practice.

During each fight Jasper spoke little bits of instruction. He was an excellent teacher which did make me feel kind of sick. I hated to think about how many times he had to do this. I hoped it didn’t hurt him to do it now.

He seemed confident and encouraging, despite my worrying. “Just like that. Concentrate on the sides.” His words were smooth even as Emmet threw him around. “Don’t forget where their target will be. Keep moving.”

Carlisle watched every move. It was probably easier for him to keep up. While Jasper and Rosalie fought, all I could see was a blur of blonde. Even Emmett seemed tense during that one. Carlisle seemed to analyze everything. I held on to his arm for support.

Edward watched beyond the trees. As the morning turned to day and the sun started shining a bit more in the clearing, Bella looked more and more tired. It got to the point where I genuinely thought she’d fallen asleep standing there. Edward caught on to my thoughts and whispered to her. “We’re about finished.”

Jasper nodded confirmation and turned to face the treeline where the wolves lurked. His calm and collected demeanor returned to his usual tense and brooding one. “We’ll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again.”

Edward agreed in his Sam voice. The humor of it was still not lost on me. Then he turned towards us and said “The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents- so they don’t make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them.”

“Certainly,” Carlisle said to Sam. “Whatever you need.”

For a split second the forest seemed to rumble to life but just as quickly, everything stilled again. There was only the buzz of anticipation bouncing between Bella and me.

I don’t know what I imagined but it definitely wasn’t this. They stalked towards us and my breath caught in my throat.

Their eyes glowed and they were huge and there were so so many of them. I didn’t make a habit of hanging out with actual wolves, but they had to be so much smaller than the beast crawling towards us now. I’d never seen anything like it. I understood the others' reaction from before.

The one who led the pack had to be Sam. Even as he creeped forward I could tell he would tower over me. More than the fact that he was the lead, he was the biggest and there was something so familiar in his eyes, it had to be Sam. I wanted nothing more than to bury my face and hide in Carlisle’s chest, but doubted heavily that that was an option. I was still shocked and frozen when he stepped up to smell Carlisle.

In any other circumstance, I would have laughed, but my brain was still reeling. Sam winced then looked at me. I gave him a soft smile and he nodded once before he moved on to Jasper. I searched the rest of their faces for anyone else I recognized, but fell short. I thought I’d at least know Jacob, but I only caught him when I saw the way Bella looked at the russet colored wolf.

When it registered for her too, she lit up and he looked just as excited. The way the three of them existed together resembled magnets. Bella fit perfectly at Edwards side and still leaned in closer to jacob. And Edward seemed a bit more at ease when Jacob stepped up- like the pack made him nervous but Jacob was a steady comfort.

Honestly, I wished they would put aside their drama and see what was right in front of them.

Of course, he just scoffed. Bella looked up to notice everyone was watching their strange interaction. When her eyes met mine she smiled softly in understanding but Edward sighed and asked her “Ready to go?”

Before she could answer he glared back at Jacob. Anything that had been between the three of them was tense again.

“We’ve not quite figured out all the details yet.” Edward answered an unasked question. I might have thought he was speaking to me if it wasn’t for the way he glared at Jacob.

Sam, as well as Jacob, seemed bothered by his response. I wondered what had been asked.

Edward continued, “It’s more complicated than that, don’t concern yourself; We’ll make sure they’re both safe.”

What are you talking about?” Bella demanded.

“Just discussing strategy.” Edward answered casually, though I could clearly tell there was something more to it.

Jacob looked confused as well before he took off back into the trees. Everyone seemed to still: Carlisle pulled me closer to him. Bella looked hurt. I wondered if I’d missed something. The others followed after Jacob.

When Jacob came back out though, he was alone and human again. I breathed a sigh of relief for Bella knowing that she wouldn’t have to miss half of a conversation that was clearly about her.

However, as Jacob got back to them, I noticed that Carlisle wasn’t pulling me into him so much as pulling me closer to Edward and Bella. Whatever they were discussing, he wanted to be a part of it too. I was glad we were on the same page.

“Okay, bloodsuckers, What’s so complicated about it?”

“We have to consider every possibility,” Edward said, his tone was understanding. “What if someone gets past you?”

Jacob was less understanding, “Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We’re making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She’ll be safe there.”

Bella glared at Jacob, “Are you talking about me?”

“He definitely isn’t talking about me,” I said under my breath. Carlisle chuckled.

Jacob continued, this time a little more understanding of our presence, “I just think it would help to know what their plan is for the two of you during the fight.”

“You can’t stay in Forks.”

Carlisle nodded and added, “If someone got past us, it’s the first place they’d look.”

Bella’s eyes met mine as we had the same thought. Her face was paler than normal as she forced the thought out. “Charlie?”

“He’ll be with Billy,” He assured her, “If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he’ll do it.”

“There’s a game on Saturday. That’s enough to get him down there without more blood shed.” My voice was breathy and I was thankful that Carlisle still held on to me. Bella’s thoughts were all over the place. She drifted off on a sidebar that had both Edward and Jacob chuckling while I weighed my own options.

I didn’t want to stay in La Push. Not that there was a problem with La Push exactly, just that it felt like everything was happening around me all of the time and while I wasn’t excited to be involved, I was this time. I also had no interest in being in the clearing when the fight was happening.

So that left me wherever Bella was. And brought their conversion back into my focus.

“You could hide them here…” Jacob waved his hands around him at the forest around us.

“That… seems impractical.” I said. There wasn’t anywhere to hide out here and with Bella’s luck, I didn’t like the idea of her being so close. The only upside being that the Cullens and the pack would be able to get to us quickly if things did go south- Then again so could the newborns.

Edward agreed with me, “Their- Our scent is too strong and combined with mine and Carlisle’s, especially distinct.”

“It’s what they’re being trained to look for. We’re hoping they’ll catch ours and come straight to the clearing, but-”

“We’re not sure exactly which path they’ll take because they don’t know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us..”

I swear the three of them made the same pained face at the same time. Carlisle held me tighter.

“You see the difficulties.”

“So what’s the middle ground? Can’t stay home, can’t stay here. What makes this work?” I asked.

“Wait a sec- My scent disgusts you, right?”

“Hmm, not bad.” Whatever was in Jacob’s head seemed to make sense to Edward because he decided to call over Jasper.

Edward breathed a heavy sigh and Jacob held out his arms to Bella. Nobody moved.

“We’re going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail,” Jacob explained.

Bella still didn’t move. She only looked more confused. I watched, silently preparing to bolt the second anyone tried to pick me up.

“You’re going to have to let him carry you, Bella” Edward said, completely unbothered. Bella frowned.

Jacob called her a baby. Then his eyes flicked to mine. “Y/n is easier to hide. Even Carlisle had a hard time finding her when he tried. I think if she just walked in front of you, you should be able to cover her scent. It’s just Bella who can’t touch anything.”

Relief washed over me. Carlisle chuckled and kissed my head. When Jasper made it over to us Edward explained the plan again, though I was certain he’d overheard.

Both Edward and Jacob looked at me. Bella just looked pouty. “I guess I’ll scout ahead.” I joked before leaning up to kiss Carlisle’s cheek before walking into the trees.

I walked far enough ahead so I wouldn’t disturb any conversations between the two that needed to be had. I also needed to focus on my footing and the amount of steps I’d taken into the woods. Jacob kept up enough that if I looked over my shoulder I could see them. After a minute or two I felt confident enough to turn, and loop back to the clearing. I resurfaced further away than I thought, but I didn’t get lost.

It was just Edward and Carlisle when we got back, and while it looked like they weren’t having the most pleasant conversation, Carlisle’s face lit up when he saw me. I couldn’t help but skip over to him.

When Alice and Jasper were back and Bella was on her own feet again she asked “Well?”

“As long as you don’t touch anything, Bella, I can’t imagine someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent.” Jasper grimaced. “It was almost completely obscured.”

“And there was no trace of Y/n at all. I wouldn’t have even known she was there if I hadn’t watched her walk in front of them. A definite success.” Alice agreed.

“And it gave me an idea.”

“Which will work,”

“Clever,” Edward agreed.

“How do you stand that?” Jacob muttered.

I laughed, “You get used to it. And sometimes, if you wait long enough, they fill you in!” It made at least Carlisle laugh. Bella still looked at Jacob sympathetically.

Edward ignored us and turned to me and Bella to explain. “You two are going to leave a false trail to the clearing. They’ll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work.”

“But me? How would I help in this situation?” I figured this experiment proved that I was untrackable.

“Not ‘untrackable’- just not easy to track.” Edward said. “But they have your scent memorized. If you touch everything-”

“And with nothing following you to cover it up-” Jasper added.

“They’ll have no issue. Then when they catch the rest of us in the clearing, they’ll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears…”

“Yes!” Jacob cheered. I wasn’t sold on his enthusiasm but Edward smiled at him.

Their comradery was only cut short when Edward scowled at Jasper. “Not a chance,”

“I know, I know.” He wasn’t exactly smiling, but definitely plotting. “It was just a thought.”

“What are you thinking?” If I could read anything in Edwards sharp shift in demeanor, whatever it was was never going to happen. Yet I couldn’t help the curiosity.

“If either of you were actually in the clearing, it would drive them insane. They wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything but you. It would make picking them off truly easy…”

“Absolutely not.” I said at the same moment Carlisle said “It’s out of the question.”

“Of course,” he backtracked. “It would be far too dangerous.” Though he didn’t seem convinced it wouldn’t happen.

Jasper chuckled under his breath and took Alice’s hand again. They walked back over to the others and I tried not to weigh the option.

Not Bella, never Bella… but me. Could I be there? I shook the thought out of my head and returned to what they were saying.

“-it’s thoroughness, not callousness.”

Jacob snorted.

Another moment passed between the three of them that they seemed completely unaware of. Jacob moved closer to Edward, Bella moved closer to Jacob, without letting go of Edward. Time didn’t move around them.

But Edward refocused on the logistics. “I will bring Bella here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterwards and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I’ll take another route there.”

“And then what? Leave them up there? With just a phone?” He was annoyed somehow. At least fed up with our plans.

“It’s not ideal, but it should be safe enough… Unless you have a safer alternative.” Carlisle remained patient with him.

Jacob lit up, smug but ready to share his thoughts “Actually I do?”

“Oh again, not bad at all.” Edward smiled so warmly at him that part of me wondered if there was pride on his face.

Jacob smiled back at Edward before facing Bella, if only to keep her involved in the conversation. “We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He’s still too young, but he’s stubborn and he’s resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him- cellphone.”

“And, Carlisle, you can bring Y/n out here early Saturday so her false trail is a bit more fresh. Then, Seth can walk her up the mountain to meet up with Bella and swap places with Jacob. Distance isn’t a problem?”

“Nope.”

“Three hundred miles?” That’s impressive.” The way he looked now only proved that it was pride on his face before. It was even brighter this time.

I looked to Carlisle to see if he’d caught what I had. He smiled like he had. I was a bit overwhelmed with all of the training and the new information and the battle strategies, but it was nice to know that we were still on the same page about this.

“It’s a good idea.” Edward was hesitant, like he was afraid of revealing more than he meant.

“Having Seth Clearwater there is very comforting.” Carlisle said.

Edward nodded, “Even without the instantaneous communication. I don’t know if I’d be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it’s come to this though! Trusting werewolves!”

“Fighting with vampires instead of against them.” Jacob added in mock disgust.

“Aww, our little cliche is coming to a close.” I joked.

“Well, almost. They’ll still get to fight some of them.” Edward said. His smile did not fade.

Jacob beamed at him, “That’s the reason we’re here.”

Carlisle carried me home. I was unaware just how tired I was, but when he held me I fell asleep almost immediately. I didn’t even wake up when he placed me in the bed. I really slept too. I didn’t dream or budge, I just got the rest I so desperately needed.

I only got up when I felt like I couldn't physically sleep anymore. Carlisle, of course, was right beside me, reading a book with a title in a foreign language.

I cuddled into him. He threw his arm around me allowing me to lay my head on his chest, all without disturbing his reading, still he placed his book on the nightstand. He kissed the top of my head.

“Good Morning, Dove.”

“Hmm… What time is it?” Based on the light that came through the windows, I didn’t think it was still morning, not that I’d correct him anyway.

He glanced at his watch. “Just after 2pm.” I was a bit surprised that I’d slept that late but was grateful for it. “Would you like to go downstairs for coffee?”

When I nodded, he helped me get upright. I steadied myself against him then leaned up to press a quick kiss on his lips. We broke apart and he took my hand leading me downstairs.

“The others are in the kitchen talking.” He told me. I nodded, though when we rounded the corner I noticed they weren’t talking much. Emmett sat on the counter and Rose was standing between his legs, facing the others. Alice was cutting fruit and dropping them into a bowl in the running sink. Jasper was making coffee.

I knew all of this was for me. It still surprised me how generous they all were.

Alice looked up and smiled at us, like she had been expecting us. “Good morning, you two!”

I smiled back at her. “Thank you… for all of this.” I gestured to the whole of the kitchen. They laughed.

“It’s no trouble at all, Y/n.” Jasper pushed a cup of coffee across the counter to me. It was perfect- That wasn’t a surprise, atleast. He looked at Carlisle, “Alice said earlier that their numbers are down to twenty.”

She hummed and handed the fruit bowl. “Nineteen, now.”

Emmett frowned, “They’re picking themselves off…” He almost sounded disappointed. Knowing him he probably was.

“It will be an easy fight then.” Carlisle clearly still didn’t feel any of Emmetts excitement.

“If we can make Bella cooperate…” Alice was annoyed.

They all looked at me. I popped a grape into my mouth. “What’s she planning?”

“She doesn’t have a plan. She just wants to be in the clearing.”

My brows furrowed. “And that would be bad?”

She said “Very” and at the same time Jasper said “That depends on who you’re asking.”

My eyes darted between them, waiting for one of them to elaborate.

Jasper spoke first. “Her scent would drive the newborns crazy. They’d go straight for her. We could wipe them out and clean the whole thing up nice and easy.” His confidence made Emmetts grin grow wider.

“Would she- or me, I guess- would we be safer-”

“Absolutely not!” This time it was Alice and Carlisle who spoke at the same time.

I looked at them, my eyes wide. After taking a bite of an apple slice, I said “Take a breath. I don’t want either of us there, really. But if it’s safer- for all of us, I’d like to at least consider the option.”

“The fight would be easier but you both would be more of a distraction. It wouldn’t be safe.” It was the first time Rosalie had spoken and if I’m being honest, it caught me a bit off guard. “If anyone lost control…” she winced and trailed off.

Carlisle finished her thought. “Or if any one of them got past us, you two would be all that they could focus on- All any of us could focus on.”

“Exactly!” Alice added. “They’d be focused on you. We’d be focused on you. It would make us too vulnerable.”

“So… more dangers than benefits? We’ll stick with plan A.” I took a slow sip of my coffee and Alice sighed.

She took out her phone and had it to her ear before any of us could ask who she was calling. “Edward…” She said it as if in answer to our unasked question. “I warned Bella that I’d tell you if her plans got more defined. She plans on trying to find a way to the clearing, but she just gets lost. You have to make her understand the dangers. Y/n gets it.”

Whatever he said made her soften a bit, then she said “She’ll listen to you.”

He said something and she agreed before hanging up. I took another strawberry out of the bowl and ate it. “In my defense, I would try to stop Bella before she wandered aimlessly into the forest.”

They all laughed. “It’s a valiant effort, but she’s too stubborn. You both just end up getting lost.”

I wouldn’t argue this. I didn’t know the woods beyond the marked trails very well. I highly doubted I would have any idea how to get where they were fighting from wherever they left us.

Though we would have Seth. I hated the idea of little Seth anywhere near the fight almost as much as I hated the idea of Bella being there. But I know Bella wasn’t including him in her plans, or Alice wouldn’t be able to see it. I didn’t want to give anyone any ideas so I kept my thoughts to myself and hoped Bella wouldn’t think of the same thing.

Jasper and Emmett discussed how exactly the newborns would attack. It was all very gruesome and from this conversation alone I was glad I didn’t have to be in the clearing. Also my heart hurt for Carlisle. I held his hand with both of mine while they casually chatted about how to kill these people. Feral or not, and even though we hardly had a choice in the matter, I could see the toll it was taking on him.

He would do what it took to protect his family- to protect me- but he would carry it with him for a long time. I wished more than anything it hadn’t come to this.

I think he saw me worrying. He smiled softly at me and kissed my forehead. He held his eyes closed and lingered longer than normal. I think the kiss was as much for my benefit as it was his. I let him stay for as long as he needed.

When he pulled back and our eyes met he really did look brighter. I kissed him quickly. The other boys droned on and on about the fight ahead of them, but for that moment, it was just me and Carlsile in the room. The only thing that pulled us back to reality was Alice’s small gasp and her phone ringing.

She set it to her ear and said “You can’t.” Of course it was hard not to panic , but despite her dramatics she didn’t seem too bothered. “I guess. I’ll use the time to get Charlie on board with her having a weekend with me.” She sighed and hung up again.

I couldn’t take the suspense. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, exactly. Edward decided to sit out.” Emmett bellowed in laughter at her words. I hadn’t caught on.

I scanned their faces for any clue but found nothing. “Sit out of what?” I asked.

“The fight.” She answered, like it was obvious. I guess it should have been, but it also didn’t seem possible.

“What?” I demanded. “Why?”

“Bella asked him to. He’s going to stay with the both of you up the mountain so she doesn’t join us in the clearing.”

“But-”

She turned to face Jasper. “I’m going to go sit with Bella while he comes here to talk logistics.” She kissed his cheek and disappeared. I was stunned that they were entertaining this. Carlisle wrapped an arm around me and ran a soothing hand over my arm.

“It’s going to be fine, Cara.” he whispered in my ear.

Emmett’s booming and over confident voice filled the room “More for us then!”

I didn’t miss the way Carlisle flinched, or the way Rosalie sighed. She stood a bit straighter and walked out of the room. Emmett called after her but didn’t follow. I was tempted to follow her, but I wasn’t sure what I could say to comfort her.

I couldn’t fault her for needing to step out. All of this was overwhelming and I wasn’t even going to be there. I couldn’t Imagine what it was like on their side of this.

I matched her sigh and stood as well but only to make another cup of coffee. Before I even had time to put the pot back, Edward was in the kitchen.

His hair was disheveled so I guessed he had run here. I resisted the urge to straighten it for him and just finished making my coffee. He stood on one side of the island while Jasper and Emmett stood on the other. Carlisle came and stood by me.

It felt like a movie the way the four of them stood around the island discussing the upcoming fight. It felt like there should be a map with little flags and figurines. As silly as it was, I was happy to be a part of the discussion.

Before they could get too invested in their own plans, I asked “Bella asked you to stay with her- us?”

He softened a bit. “She did.”

“Why?”

“She… didn’t enjoy the idea of us ‘leaving’ again.” he put air quotes around the word leaving, though I could tell he sympathized with her. “I will stay with the two of you and Seth and she’ll stay out of the clearing.”

Carlisle held my hand a bit tighter and I wondered briefly what he saw on my face.

“We’ll be just fine.” Jasper added.

“Hell yeah! I can pick up his half-” Emmett was clearly perfectly fine with Bella’s decision.

As they fell into the rearrangements, I couldn’t help but understand Bella’s side. I almost wished I would have thought of it before her; wished I had asked Carlisle to sit out instead of Edward, but I could never ask him to choose between me and his family. I was completely surprised that she could ask that of Edward. It was selfish of her, but I didn’t blame her at all

I quickly turned to Edward. He didn’t act like he’d caught on to my thoughts. I hoped that if he had he wouldn’t rat me out.

They continued, unbothered.

“-We'll go hunting tonight after meeting with the wolves.”

“Seth will meet with Carlisle in the clearing to carry Y/n to Bella and Edward early Saturday morning.” Jasper was all business and Carlisle nodded.

My eyes danced between them. “Seth Clearwater is not carrying me anywhere.”

They all laughed like I'd told a joke.

“Seth will just be there as a precaution.” Carlisle soothed, “Just in case they can track you, Seth will be there to mask your scent.”

Jasper added “You walking in front of Seth while he's a wolf will be more than enough for that.”

“Oh… Right. Good.” I was terribly uninterested in a child carrying me anywhere, werewolf or not.

“It will work.” Edward continued, though I didn't know who his words were meant to comfort. I nodded along.

I double- triple checked everything in my head. Dad would be on the reservation with Billy and the baby guard wolves. Bella would be with me and Seth and now Edward, in the mountains far enough away. My new found family- the love of my life, had trained for this and would continue training until it was time. It was a solid plan.

Though they had continued talking while I got lost in my thoughts, when Edward spoke again, he looked directly at me.

“It will work.” He said again.

I nodded once, both in thanks and acceptance.

It will work, I thought. It had to.

We were back in the clearing just three hours later. The sun hadn't even really set yet. I wondered how Bella got past Dad, but I probably didn't want to know. They still showed up last.

The training in front of me was more physical than the night before. Edward only joined in when Jasper asked him to. Carlisle left me with them when he went to face off with Rosalie.

Edward stayed long enough for Jacob to join us. They chatted quietly with one another for a few moments. Clearly lost in their own world. I pretended to be distracted by the grass and tried not to think too loudly about how well they completed each other.

Edward joined the others in the clearing when they started doing two-on-one pairings. Those were equally as hard to watch. I could barely stand it when it was Carlisle against Emmett and Edward. My chest was tight and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

But then Rosalie was next to me- albeit as far from Jacob as she could possibly be. Without saying a word she took my hand. It was overwhelmingly comforting in a way I did not expect. I took a tiny step in her direction and laid my head on her shoulder. She didn't move to even breathe, but I think she did lean into me.

Carlisle got Edward down every time but Emmett was trickier. If Carlisle focused on Edward, Emmett would get him down and if he focused on Emmett, then Edward would. They tried this over and over and each time he was a bit more sure of himself.

When he finally got both of them down I had to squeeze Rosalie's hand to keep myself from cheering.

Carlisle swapped places with her answer she went against Alice and Edward. Even when it wasn't Carlisle fighting I still had the hardest time watching. I leaned into him the way I had with her.

They were good. They were confident.

The plan would work.

Bella came over and stayed with us Thursday before they laid the false trail. The others went hunting and they wouldn’t be back before the fight. I hugged them all as tight as I could and tried very hard not to let it feel like a goodbye.

I had to have hope that I would see them all again. It made me sick.

They left while the sun was still up. Carlisle held me close as I watched the treeline they disappeared into. I was still standing there when Edward and Bella pulled in.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and pulled myself together before they walked on to the porch. They didn’t seem phased by me at all. Carlisle held the door open for them and I followed in behind them.

“Have you eaten?” I asked Bella.

She nodded. “I made burgers at home for Charlie and ate one before I left.”

“Good… That’s good.”

“Are… Are you guys staying here tonight?” She asked. Edward chuckled.

I looked at Carlisle and he smiled at me. I felt like I was missing something.

“We’ll be here, but I believe we’ll be in our room all night. You’ll basically have the place to yourselves.” Carlisle assured them.

Oh, that’s what she meant. Her face fell into something that looked like disappointment. I was glad that I did not have super hearing. I wasn’t sure if the house was sound proofed enough for the vampires, but I could be blissfully unaware.

“We’ll be upstairs…” Bella was leading Edward up the stairs. I had to hide my face with my hand to not laugh. Carlisle led me to the kitchen.

I knew he expected me to be hungry. I couldn’t find the energy to actually be hungry but I got the leftover fruit from the fridge. He got me a glass of water. I made a show of drinking it.

I scooted a piece of pineapple around in the bowl with my fork. “It’s… so quiet.” I whispered, in an attempt to not disturb the peace.

“It is.” He stood next to me leaning against the counter with his hands in his pockets. To anyone else he would have looked relaxed.

“How are you feeling?” I didn’t really have to ask. I’d watched his honey eyes scan the treeline a hundred times. I took note of his heavy and occasional breaths. His eyes met mine and I melted. I placed my hand on his face and just held it there. He kissed my palm.

“I’m… I am confident in our family. It’s just…” His voice was so low. I stepped closer to him and his hands rested on my waist. He dropped his forehead to mine.

“I understand.” This is scary. I wouldn’t say that aloud though, instead I pressed in to him and said “I know. I’m here.” As soft as I could manage.

His eyes were closed. I felt him nod. I kissed his nose. He took a slow, deep breath.

I leaned back and met his gaze again. “It will be okay.” He at least sounded more confident.

The next day was much like the last. Bella and Edward got up early and were already downstairs by the time Carlisle peeled me out of bed. I wasn’t expecting Alice to be home but I was more than grateful to see her.

She said she was only there to share the news about the snow storm, but she also had a private conversation with Bella. While it was happening Edward looked more and more uncomfortable but when Alice got back she looked happier than ever. Bella, on the other hand, looked like she wanted to vomit.

I did desperately want to know, but thought better of asking. Bella would tell me eventually. Worst case I could probably convince Carlisle to.

I tried not to think about the fact that I couldn’t guarantee when or if I could.

Alice left when Edward and Bella did. I hugged Bella for a long time knowing that I would see her in just over twelve hours but also fearing the worst.

“Be safe.” She nodded. “Text me when you make it up there.” She nodded again. “Stay warm tonight.”

She laughed, “I will, Y/n”

This time, I nodded. “Okay. Good.” I hugged her again. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

I hugged Edward just as tight.

As they left I called after them “Be safe!” I thought I saw Edward smile before he lifted Bella and ran off towards the clearing.

This time, Carlisle held me in his arms on the couch while I cried.

It was hours later before I settled down. He put on reruns of Buffy. I cried off and on but drank the water he brought me and ate the pasta he made later in the night. After a while he brushed the hair out of my face and asked, “How are you feeling, Dove?”

“Like the world is caving in around us.” I tried to smile at him, I’m sure it looked pathetic. “But I’m glad you’re here.”

“There isn’t anywhere I’d rather be.” He leaned in and kissed me softly. “I had something made for you. Would you like me to give it to you now?”

Hesitantly, I nodded. “What is it?”

He chuckled. “I'll go get it.” completely unsure of what to expect, I tried not to panic waiting for him to get back. Luckily, he was only gone a few seconds before he appeared next to me again. “It’s a bit soon, and I know right now isn’t the best time, but I want you to have this… Well, in case-”

“Carlisle?”

“Yes?”

“What is it?” I asked again, smiling this time. I kinda loved it when he got all flustered. In his hand was a jewelry box, but it was too long to be a ring- I didn’t have to panic too much. He opened the box and showed me before he said anything else.

Inside the box was a locket on a delicate silver chain. On the front of the locket was the Cullen crest. My hands were shaking when I took it from him. I opened it to find one side was empty but the other had a dried petal from a lupine flower.

I was crying again. “Carlisle, it’s-”

“Again, I know it’s early, and we aren’t married, but you are a part of this family. I left the other side open so you could put whatever you wanted in it…” His eyes were soft and his voice was so genuine. If he wasn’t still holding the locket I might have tackled him. “It felt important… that you should have it now.”

“It’s perfect.” I didn’t know how to express just how much it meant to me but I started with “Thank you.” then demanded “Well, aren’t you gonna put it on me?”

He laughed when I turned away from him. I pulled my hair up as he put it around my neck. As soon as it was clasped I turned back to him and flung my arms around his shoulders and kissed him like the world might not end the next day.

I kissed him like I needed it to survive.

When we finally broke apart, his hand still caressed my cheek. “Would you like to get some rest, Cara?”

“No,” my voice was breathy.

“Then what do you want?”

“I want you to make me forget the world is caving in.”

The corner of his mouth ticked up in the smallest hint of a smile. “I think I can manage that.” Then he kissed me again like he fully intended to try.

I wouldn't say that I slept soundless that night but I definitely slept better than I had been.

The sun was just barely peeking through the sky as I got ready. I tried to dress warm with lots of layers but we still had to lay my false trail to the clearing. I packed my coat, some water bottles and a first aid kit in my hiking bag instead. Carlisle was already down in the kitchen making me a large thermos of hot coffee. I hoped it would last through the fight.

I fiddled with the locket around my neck for a second; still unused to the weight of it. When everything was packed, I took a deep breath, steadied myself, then met Carlisle downstairs. He smiled softly when he saw me. I kissed him every chance I got.

We walked hand in hand through the woods to the clearing. I touched everything I could. I hugged the occasional tree. But we hardly spoke at all. I felt like I had so much to say but no words to say them. I didn't want this to feel like goodbye. I couldn't let it be goodbye.

When we made it to the clearing, the sun was just barely shining but the snow had finally stopped. I couldn't believe how cold it was. Carlisle’s hand was almost warm in mine. I hated how long it took to lay the false trail and to walk to the clearing. I hated that I still had so much longer to walk with Seth. More than anything, I hated this feeling of doom that threatened to choke me.

As we broke through the treeline I saw Seth, Sam, and Leah whispering in the center. Leah was angry and was trying to get something through to Sam, though he only looked annoyed. I didn't know Leah had made the pack. Honestly, it almost made me panic more.

Carlisle pulled me into him but I was frozen in my spot. I forgot how to breathe. I locked eyes with him and shook my head.

“Y/n…” He was in front of me, his hand in my hair. “Breathe, Y/n.” He spoke slowly. This time I nodded. He was always able to calm me down. I didn't have time to panic now anyway. I took a deep breath in when he did and out shortly after.

Get to safety- then panic. I could handle that. I nodded again. He smiled and wiped a tear from my cheek.

When I tore my eyes from him I found Sam again. He was closer, but Seth and Leah held back. Carlisle turned to face them too without letting go of my hand.

“Y/n, Carlisle.” He greeted us as he walked a few steps closer. “Leah and I thought it might be safer for everyone if I walked with you two. I will have plenty of time to make it back before the newborns get here, according to your psychic.”

“It couldn't hurt I guess…” My voice sounded so weak. He chuckled.

“We should leave soon. It's a long hike.” I winced. Carlisle took my coat out of my bag before handing it to me. “We'll give you a moment…” He slung my bag over his shoulder and stalked towards the others.

I buried my face in Carlisle's chest in the tightest hug I could muster. He squeezed me just as tight.

“It will be fine, my Love.”

I took another deep breath. “It will.”

“Only a few hours.”

“Hours.” I repeated

He chuckled against me. “Faster if you let him carry you.”

“Absolutely not.” He laughed again. I leaned back to watch him- to memorize this moment. “Only a few hours… and the others?”

“They'll be here soon.”

“And then it will be over?” That one sounded more like a question.

He nodded. “Then we'll be back together.” He was confident.

And then he kissed me and it hurt my heart. I could hardly stand it. My fingers pulled tightly at his scarf and in his hair; certain that if I let go, he would disappear completely. I pulled him closer to me and he pulled me closer to him.

In only a few short hours, he would be fighting alongside our family to save mine and Bella's lives- to put an end to an army that was created to destroy us. And yet he kissed me like our timer wasn't out.

His lips pressed confidently to mine. They were firm, and soft, and sweet, and confident like he knew that this whole ordeal would be over soon and we would be together again, just safe.

He pulled away first because I certainly wasn't going to. I still chased his lips and kissed him a few more times.

His voice was low when he said “You have to go”

My breath was too shaky. I couldn't force any words out.

“I'll be right here, it will be over quickly, and then you'll be safe.”

“You have to be safe too.”

“I will be.” I looked into his eyes as he soothed out my hair. Somewhere behind him I heard a distinctly wolfy sigh. I flipped off where the sound came from.

Carlisle chuckled softly. He helped me put on my coat and wrapped his scarf around my neck. I pressed it to my face and breathed in this warm tea and fresh honey scent.

I stood on my toes to kiss him again. I said, “I love you, Carlisle.” all soft and breathy.

“I love you, Y/n.” He was soft and confident.

I found the strength to take a few steps back. I watched his eyes soften as he took in the goodbye I refused to say. He held on tightly to my hand until I got to Sam, who was a large black wolf and much closer than expected.

I squeezed my eyes closed and turned around before opening them again. A single tear fell from my eyes and left a stinging trail on my cheek. I held on to his hand until he couldn't reach me anymore. I hated how dramatic this was. I hated how much it hurt.

Seth ran ahead of us. Sam walked patiently by my side. I didn't look back at Carlisle until I was certain I wouldn't see him.

I knew I wouldn't have the strength to keep going if I did.

The hike was long and miserably cold. I almost gave up and allowed Sam to carry me a few times but my pride was too large, so we suffered. I had my headphones in and playing my music so loud I couldn't hear if he sighed at my stubbornness anyway.

And just as it became unbearable, we broke through the trees into the little clearing Edward had picked out.

Edward met us outside the tent. “Thank you, Sam, Seth.” He nodded in both their directions, but when I looked at Sam, his eyes were focused on me.

I nodded once and thanked him. I meant it more than I could put into words. He bowed his head and pressed his nose to my palm. It was cold and wet and I pulled my hand away. “Ew, Sam…” But I chuckled, and I could tell he smiled too before running off the way we came.

“Be safe!” I called after him. I heard a cocky bark in response and rolled my eyes.

Edward smiled softly at me and said “If you could give us just a moment.” I nodded and he retreated into his and Bella's tent. I could only guess that he was going to console her given that I couldn't hear much of their muffled conversation.

I sat on a rock next to Seth, who just huffed dramatically any laid down beside me. He really did look like a puppy who had been told ‘no’. I reached down and ruffled the fur between his ears. He huffed again and I laughed.

I pulled Carlisle's scarf to my nose again and closed my eyes tightly. I hoped that if I focused enough- if I could block everything out- I would open my eyes again and it would all be over. It almost worked, but Seth sat up abruptly, and let out a little bark.

Edward unzipped their tent and helped Bella stand up outside of it. I couldn't quite hear his words but Bella moaned, “Alice is so small.”

He chuckled, “That might be a problem… If it were possible for someone to catch her.”

Bella's gaze found Seth sitting in the snow next to me, then she saw me sitting on the rock beside him. She breathed my name and ran over to me. She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I was a bit surprised by her sudden burst of physical affection, but grateful nonetheless and hugged her back.

Another noise from Seth stirred us both, though this one was more of a whimper. She turned sharply to Edward.

“What's wrong?” She demanded.

“He's just angry he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect him. He's salivating to join them.”

She glared at Seth. He huffed again.

“The newborns have reached the trail- it worked like a charm, Jasper's a genius- and they've caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they're splitting into two groups now, as Alice said,” He sounded proud as he stared in the direction I'd come form

As grateful as I was that he was narrating for Bella, it was hard for me to hear. I didn't have the same comforts Bella did. Carlisle was there. I felt sick.

I heard him say they'd made it to the clearing. I heard him cheer on Leah. He said to let Sam lead, probably to Jacob. I wondered if they could hear him through Seth the way he could hear them. I try to drown it all out. I tried to not think.

But then a sharp silence fell over all of us. No one breathed. No one moved. I didn't let myself guess what was wrong.

“Edward?’ I tried, but my voice was barely a whisper. He held up a hand. I purposely breathed slowly and listened to Bella's panicked breaths. I feared the worst, but if I didn't know, Bella wouldn't know either. She was just panicking. There didn't have to be a reason to panic.

A part of me shattered as Edward urgently whispered “Go, Seth.” and while he ran off and everything shifted around me, it felt like time was frozen.

Edward pushed me behind him, Bella next to me, protecting us both from something I couldn't see yet. I tried to back further away but my back hit a wall and I noticed we were against a cliff. I couldn't run if I wanted to.

We were trapped. As if on reflex, I grabbed Bella's hand like I could protect her from whatever was coming. And even though I didn't know what was coming, I knew it was bad.

Thankfully, Bella put my question into one simple word. “Who?”

“Victoria.” He spoke her name like a curse. My stomach lurched as what he said sank in and what followed made it worse and worse. “She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch- she was never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you both would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria.”

I was shivering to my core. I was too out of it to hope that any of us would make it out. But was grateful he'd sent Seth away. Grateful that Carlisle wouldn't have to watch me die- if it came to that. I wished briefly he'd pick up Bella and run- wished I could hide well enough to throw them off and give Carlisle time to find me.

There wasn't enough time.

Before I could even blink there were two vampires walking casually into the clearing, the sun dancing off their skin. I'd never seen Victoria. I'd never seen any vampires outside of the Cullens.They were beautiful. They were young. The woman was maybe my age, but the boy didn't even seem to be Bella's age. He was just a boy. I wanted to cry. I didn't think I could.

Nothing moved for so long. I kept my fingers intertwined with Bella's. I watched Bella's face. She never took her eyes off Victoria. My eyes danced between all of them.

I just barely caught Victoria lift her chin in Edwards direction. I stepped in front of Bella, if only to give him time.

“Riley.” Edward said in a soft pleading voice.

Everyone froze again.

Edward tried to reason with the boy. He tried to get him to realize Victoria had lied to him. I only saw confusion on his face. I wanted to see doubt.

Edward tried again from a different angle, “She doesn't love you, Riley. She never has. She loved someone named James, and you're no more than a tool to her.”

Victoria hissed at his words. Then the smallest glimpse of doubt did flash on Riley's face. Edward continued his negotiations, but it was so hard to focus on his words. The ringing in my ears muffled most sounds.

There were multiple steps between Edward and us now. Victoria monitored each step he took, trying to find the best vantage point. I swallowed a breath and her eyes locked on mine. For a moment she looked surprised, then she just looked annoyed.

Edward whispered. “Last chance, Riley.”

The boy didn't move, but he looked at Victoria like he was lost.

She snarled, but her eyes never left mine. “He's a liar, Riley. I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you.”

I wondered how she got him to believe her. She had no inflection in her voice. Her voice was careful and practiced, but there was no love there. Riley regained composure. Her eyes tore from mine when Edward took another half step forward.

Then there was a growl from the trees.

Seth lurked out and threw Riley to the ground. Victoria screamed. I wanted to get away- to get Bella away- but I didn't have anywhere to go. My heart was racing and as the real fight was kicking off I couldn’t keep up with everyone's movements. At times, Riley was on his feet, others he was buried in the snow. Chucks of rock landed at mine and Bella’s feet.

Not rock- chunks of Riley. I truly felt so sick.

Victoria looked torn between bolting and trying to get at Bella. While she hardly acknowledged my presence at that point, I still stood between her and Edward. She’d have to get me out of the way. I shuddered at the thought.

“Don’t go, Victoria,” While Seth was attacking Riley, Edward shifted his taunting to Victoria herself. This would end here, one way or another. Edward wasn’t going to let her get away. I didn’t want to watch it play out. But I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. “You’ll never get another chance like this.”

She hissed at him. He dismissed her connection with James. He mocked the way he’d killed him. It worked the way he wanted; She attacked him again.

Everything was a blur. There was so much happening, and because I couldn’t keep up it felt like nothing really was. There were sounds from all directions- of teeth on stone, Edwards taunting, Bellas ragged breathing- I couldn’t stay focused on one thing. I wanted it to be over. I didn’t want to see the outcome.

I’d never been so scared.

We were losing. Edward promised Victoria that she’d never get to Bella. Somehow that brought me comfort too, but their fights continued. And Seth was soaring through the air and crashing into the wall next to us. I barely managed to dodge him as he hit the snow beside us and the rocks that showered down around us too.

I got back on my feet and helped Bella to hers again, just in case we had to run. I stepped in front of her again. I tried to reassess the situation just as Riley charged towards Seth’s mostly unmoving form. Victoria was on top of Edward in the snow.

We were losing. I never thought I’d be the type to freeze, but there I was. I couldn’t do anything. I focused on Bella’s face. She was focused on her arm. When she looked at me I only saw desperation in her eyes. She winced and inhaled sharply.

I breathed her name.

All of them turned sharply to Bella when she gasped. I was still positioned in front of her, so I even had to turn to see the blood running down her arm.

Then Riley was there. His hand was in my hair throwing me out of his way before I could process what was happening. I knew I hit the ground. I felt the snow fall around me. I felt my head hit something sharp but I couldn’t open my eyes. It was all too much. I couldn't watch my sister die.

I curled into myself. I pressed my hand to my forehead. It was warm and wet and sticky. I waited for it to be over.

I heard Seth snap, followed by more sounds of teeth on stone. Then this metallic ripping that was straight from my worst nightmares. I still squeezed my eyes closed and held pressure to my head.

“Victoria!” His plea was loud and too close to me. I tried to inch away but I don’t think I moved.

Then Riley’s screaming stopped.

“No,” That was Edward’s voice, much further away and smooth. I allowed myself that little comfort. “Stay just a little longer.”

More rustling for a few more seconds followed by nothing. Everything was finally still.

I felt Seth’s nose press into my side. I still couldn’t open my eyes. He huffed and paced towards where Edward’s voice had come from.

“Get every piece,” He sounded busy. No one mentioned Bella.

That thought alone pulled me back to the present. My eyes shot open searching for her. Edward and Seth threw chunks of rock into a fire. I hadn’t even smelled the smoke.

I didn’t breathe again until I found her. She hadn’t moved an inch but I was yards away. He’d thrown me further than I noticed. I was very lucky that only my head was bleeding. None of my bones felt broken.

And Bella looked fine. In shock, but alive and fine.

It was over.

I sat up and the world spun. The sticky sweet smoke hit my nose and I threw up in the snow.

Taglist!

@jakanddexter67 @a-not-so-poetic-poet @bridge597 @cestlavie03 @gaymazinglula @short-potato @jennyamanda8 @daisydreamingsims @arg888cam

#twilight #carlisle cullen #twilight fanfiction #carlisle cullen x reader #im always in this twilight #twilight x reader #iaitt #this love came back to me #reader insert #tlcbtm

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otakween · 3 months

Text

Digimon Frontier (Manhua) - Volume 2

I wonder if anyone on tumblr has read this manhua in its physical form since it was only released in Australia. Also, how many manhua/manga are the Aussies hiding from us?? lol

Ch. 8

Oh okay, so in this version of the story digicode is called a "digital password" (for some...reason)

I do like how this artist draws Junpei. He looked cute with his hair all tousled in this chapter.

Ch. 9

Huh. They completely cut out all of the comedy from this "episode." Nothing about Calmaramon being ugly and her fanboys abandoning her and nothing about her spinning out of control and defeating herself...womp womp.

I'm attempting to read this on my Boox ereader to enhance my experience. Maybe it will motivate me to read quicker lol. I'd be curious to hear my mutuals' preferred format/app for reading emanga. I use a big mix of stuff but in this case it's Tachiyomi + eink

Ch. 10

Yikes, that was so disjointed and weird! They went from the fight with Duskmon back to the Calmaramon fight. I thought that the scans were uploaded in the wrong order or something, but nope!

The transition to the real world was so clunky and confusing.

I did like Duskmon's chapter art, that was pretty badass. His mask looks a little funky though (the fangs are more gnarly)

Ch. 11

More cut scenes messing things up: Takuya expresses his guilt for Koji's predicament, but they never bothered to go over Takuya's reckless plan to fight Duskmon, so it's totally unclear why he's guilty in the first place. Also, we see Takuya go to the real world, but we never see his epiphany for why he should go back to the digital world, he just kinda appears in the next fight scene. -sigh- Who needs character motivations or emotions amirite?

At least they cut out the tickle torture scene. Grateful for that decision...

I think this is the most expressive I've ever seen Mercuremon lol. I hope we see more of him in the franchise, his design is so original.

Ch. 12

I'm still not over how unimpressive the Frontier digivolutions are in some cases. Wolfmon and BeoWolfmon are basically the same thing. I think they straight up got Koji's digivolution name wrong here (called BeoWolfmon Garummon), so that made things extra confusing and anti-climactic lol.

A lot of things were so unclear in this chapter: it wasn't clear that Seraphimon was lending his strength, it wasn't clear how Koji realized that Koichi was a human, and the flashbacks were poorly integrated as well. Also, how did the kids end up inside Sephirothmon and not Bokomon and Neemon? Unclear.

I do appreciate how easy it is to tell Koichi and Koji apart. I feel like they did a good job making them very distinct yet still keeping it clear that they're twins.

Ch. 13

Damn, just terrible translation. They kept calling Seraphimon Ophanimon over and over again. At one point they had the wrong name right next to the correct name on the same page!! How is it possible to be THAT careless!? (I noticed that the scanner acknowledged this in their between chapters' note lol).

It was good to get another look at BlackSeraphimon's design. I already said this in my anime commentary, but it would have been way cooler if we got more of these combo designs from villains using heroes powers...

Ch. 14

I don't have many complaints for this chapter, it was done relatively well. I feel like Koichi's grandma was more explicitly negative when explaining what Koichi's father did to him ("abandoned").

The scene where Takuya is like "are you crazy? You should fight him because he's your brother" also felt weird to me. Like, what if they hurt him badly by mistake? Maybe humans can only be killed if you scan their digicode so there's no risk?

#digimon frontier #manhua #digimon #manga

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goldenkamuyhunting · 11 months

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I wonder if you still will answer an ask / question. My ask is Do you personally think / feel there is some character that's like ended up a waste ( in term development ) or just.. didn't need to exist / continue into the next chapter at some point ? Like example, in your analysis Ogata should just died in vol 19 something like that I think.. I suddenly think like.. Vasily is a big waste or maybe he shouldn't continue to be Ogata's rival because I personally dont see it, sometimes i really think he's just like a fan service character ? Vasily went to take revenge on Ogata and go as for to Japan for that, that sound kinda romantic or something someone said that and i really dont see that ( I think Vasily fans gonna hate me ). I think Tsukishima & Koito prolly the same case at the end how they ended up breaking their loyalty to Tsurumi. I'm sorry if it's wrong the end of chapter kinda confuse me a lot.

Yes, I do still answer, even if sometimes I'm really slow about it.

Should I warn everyone that this isn't a Noda apprecciation post and that the back button in this case might be your best friend?

I hope people will be intuitive enough to figure it out on their own so without further ado let's dig into this.

Do I personally think / feel there is some character that's like ended up a waste ( in term development ) or just.. didn't need to exist / continue into the next chapter at some point ?

Oh yes. I feel quite a lot got wasted and this doesn't include just characters but also plot points actually.

Before someone will say something, I'll clear up a couple of things about what I mean.

First of all, this is my personal opinion. It's not The Truth. It's just how I feel.

Second, for me a story has to fit with Anton Chekhov's advice: If it's not essential, don't include it in the story. Especially, I'll add, if you want to write only 31 volumes and then you'll end up rushing things to fit everything in them.

So, let's start.

Let's cut from the story Sugimoto's feelings for Umeko which go nowhere and supposedly ended when Kikuta told him he should let Umeko go. He could be just in the story to help a friend's wife. After all that's why he's in the story in the anime, which completely cut Umeko's role and, anyway, it seems that's what Noda wanted since Sugimoto supposedly wanted to marry Umeko solely because Toraji told him so.

Q: Sugimoto’s main motivation to participate in the gold hunt was to heal Umeko, the girl who was his childhood friend and whom he loved. However, in the last chapter, he gives his share of the gold to Umeko’s son, since her eyes were already healed. Why did you do that?

Noda: If Umeko had not remarried and her eyes weren’t healed, the story would have needed a few more chapters, which, considering that it was post-climax, would have made it drag on needlessly.

The reason for that is Toraji told Sugimoto to get together with Umeko before dying, and he is not the kind of guy who could have ignored that and return to Hokkaido with Asirpa. [Noda’s interview for Yomiuri online paper]

Actually also let's cut her eye problems. Let's send Sugimoto to get money for Toraji's son, so he can go to school. If the whole thing with Umeko becomes a bother that needs to be solved offscreen without Sugimoto's intervention, let's just not include it.

The same goes for Ogata's feelings for his grandmother. We are told that Ogata didn't kill Tanigaki because he was a grandmother's boy and so he didn't want to murder Huci even though not killing Tanigaki causes him plenty of troubles and then... it turns out in an interview he probably poisoned his grandparents and they're no more discussed in the story.

Q17: Are Ogata’s grandparents still alive? If not, how did they die? Noda: They both disappeared before Ogata enlisted. There was half-eaten food left on the table. [Q&A section from the Golden Kamuy fanbook]

Honestly I would cut also Tanigaki's tragic backstory with his sister because... it goes nowhere in the end. He completely forgets he was meant to go back home and tell his father how his sister died, he actually goes back home because he has Inkarmat and Tsurumi is hunting him.

And since we're at it, let's cut the whole "Huci might die of worry for Asirpa", since Huci gets all better as soon as they hand her a baby.

Note that those plot points were all things I liked when I assumed they would go somewhere... instead they are just brushed off, forgotten or solved offscreen. They didn't really serve to the story, Ogata could have not killed Tanigaki because too many in the village saw him entering in Huci's house and might attack him if he were to shoot at her, and Tanigaki could have gone after Asirpa because she saved his life.

Then we've characters like Svetlana, who served zero purpose, Ogata and Vasily that were kept alive for no reason at all after Vol 19, the whole subplot with Central that went nowhere along with Wada's murder, since Tsurumi has the support of Yodogawa and could have gotten the weapons from him instead than doing it from behind Wada's back and then killing him.

To have Wilk include, among the tattooed convicts, a well known child murderer and who cares if that guy would go on murdering children once free (even though murdering children is generally considered one of the most disgusting crimes even by criminals) and his daughter is also a child, makes a huge disservice to Wilk as a supposedly good father.

Saving Tsurumi was unneeded, and the same goes for the whole Tsukishima-Koito-Tsurumi plot that goes nowhere.

Sofia shouldn't have known she had no part in Tsurumi's daughter's death if, afterward, she was meant to die thinking solely at how regretful she felt for it, and not at how her men died because she thought trying to fulfil Wilk and Kiro's dream was a good plan.

And since Jack the Ripper was clearly so poorly researched about, Noda could have just turned him into some Japanese mad slasher, no need to toss in the story another murderer who kills because he's a Christian with warped beliefs like Sekiya... and talking about warped belief and psychological problems already seen, we've Heita who has warped Ainu religion beliefs and hears voices like Edogai... okay, he's actually worse than Edogai but still close enough.

And what about the fake skins plot? Noda even forgot one of those fake skins at a certain point and solved the plot abruptly.

Ariko didn't need to 'die' to be resurrected short after and then STAY OUT OF THE STORY and not even help Asirpa, despite his father being the one who triggered the Ainu massacre falling for Tsurumi's manipulation. Not that the guy knows so this too was unneeded.

And actually the story would have probably benefitted by having Inkarmat die due to her wound and Ienaga be killed once she saved Sugimoto.

And should we dig into Tsukishima's tragic backstory which also go nowhere?

Or the rather terrible story of the raped white bear?

The extra story of the roasted little bird?

The whole "Wakayama was the one behind the skin in Barato" plot with annexed the whole "searching for the skins is useless" which gets forgotten with a shrug?

And let's not forget the whole Central plot that goes nowhere. Tsurumi knew already of the gold, Ogata got involved by Central for unclear reasons (why pick him?) and Kikuta got in the game too late and contributed too little all for Central to do basically nothing in the story.

And, since we're at it, the whole Noboribetsu thing was also handled poorly.

I guess I could add more but that's what came to my mind as of now. I fear it's already way too much...

Now, I've basically rushed up through everything and I realize this instead would need to be expanded to be more understandable, as some plot points/characters might seem of relevance... when actually could have been solved way more quickly and efficently... especially since at the end Noda rushed through the story because he wanted to end at vol 31.

If one has a set a specific volume for the ending he should do well his math and not add extra that merely dilute the story for no real purpose.

If it's not essential, don't include it in the story.

But whatever, if you or someone else now feels the need for clarifications of why some plot points/characters felt useless/didn't deserve to live that long, you can write me.

If you or someone else feel they actually were important, okay, that's your opinion, I'm not saying you've to change it, just don't try to change mine. I prefer not to argue about things I didn't like of GK, it makes happy no one and feels rather boring.

Sorry if this wasn't what you were hoping for and thank you for your ask!

#Ask #Ogata Hyakunosuke #Vasily Pavlichenko #Tsukishima Hajime #Koito Otonoshin

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four-loose-screws · 10 months

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Helloooo... I hope I won't bother you asking this but I heard that in the jpn version of Veyle's diary it's precised she is the only of Alear's sister ?

It's no bother to me at all! The ally notebooks are proving to be one of the most fascinating cases to study in Engage - my guess is the localization team had to make a number of compromises to 'accuracy' of translation due to the limited space on each page.

So here's Veyle's first page, where we will find the answer to your question:

The Japanese sentence does indeed include 'yuiitsu', which decisively means 'one and only.' Immediately sparks some confusion, because we know Sombron had a lot of children, but the next word immediately clears that up - it's 'imouto' - younger sister. In Japanese, 'younger sister' and 'older sister' are each their own unique word (same for brother btw). So it doesn't take up any extra space in Japanese to specify older vs. younger, creating a tricky problem in English localization when the number of characters in a text box is limited.

That makes this make sense - Alear has Veyle as their one younger sister, and they can still have any number of older sisters.

Update 11/30: A couple of readers chimed in to point out that the game clearly states in Chapter 24 that Alear did indeed have at least one other younger sister, who was killed by Corrupted. So the ally page says "one and only" within the context of Alear's surviving siblings, who is only Veyle by the time the events of the Engage happen.

------------------

There's also a few other things to note about Veyle's pages, while I am here. The information cut due to space limitation does not end with just this one case!

Link to JP notebook pages on the Pegasus Knight Wiki

Pg. 1:

The sentence about Veyle defeating her evil side was longer in Japanese: ソンブルの策略により敵対したが、(She was an enemy due to Sombron's scheme, but) ヴェイルの意志で悪しき己を撃破。(defeated her evil side by her own will.)

Pg. 2:

None, localization is a straightforward translation.

Pg. 3:

The Japanese further details that her Corrupted are very complex / advanced / intelligent compared to the standard zombie-like Corrupted: 【特技】精巧な異形兵を作ること ((Talents) Creating intelligent Corrupted Her background mentions that she was born in Gradlon, and was alone for the past 1,000 years. 【来歴】��ラドロンの地で生を受け ((Background) Born in Gradlon,) 邪竜の御子たちの末妹として育つ。(raised the youngest of the Fell Dragon's children.) 母は優しき心を持つ魔竜族だった。(Her mother was a mage dragon with a kind heart.) 千年の時を孤独に過ごし、父親に (She spent 1,000 years alone, and her father) 駒として扱われ望まぬ戦を重ねたが、(made her fight against her wishes over and over again as his pawn, but) 善良な心を失うことはなかった。(she never once lost her pure heart.)

Pg. 4:

JP also describes her as shy: 遠慮がちだが本当は大の遊び好き。(She is shy, but also very playful.) And there was also more to the sentence about her wanting to be useful to people: 人の役に立つことを何よりも望み、(She wants to be useful to people more than anything, 困っている人は放っておけない。(cannot ignore a person in need.)

Pg. 5:

The JP line about the Pact Ring also mentions that she treats it as her most valuable amulet / charm, as she did with the dragonstone.

(I took a screenshot of the page on YouTube, due to it not being on Pegasus Knight.)

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Full English localization:

#fire emblem #fire emblem 17 #fe17 #fe #fire emblem engage #fe engage #nintendo #switch #nintendo switch #japan #japanese #localization #translation #alear #veyle #ally notebook

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jimilter · 2 years

Text

on the borderline — 02 | pjm.

Park Jimin has been your buoy, your anchor and the ship of sanity that guides you to shore amid storms of self-doubt, nearly all your life; as have you been his. That is not to say nothing has ever brewed beneath the surface of platonic friendship, or that the two of you have never been victims to mistiming. Regardless, you would never risk the friendship you have with him now for anything. Even if you have to hurt him – or even yourself – in the process.

pairing: jimin x reader

rating: m (18+)

genre: humor | fluff | friends to lovers!au

word count: 7.7 k

— warnings: swearing + unresolved sexual tension + mentions of therapy + commitment phobia + innuendos in an office setting + really lame humor, again + some dark humor, again + sexual thoughts (pertaining to ass-grabbing, wet panties, choking, dick sucking) + jimin and yn being annoying bffs to each other + yn does not have a crush...on anyone...bec she's above crushes (but she's also a pathological liar so take that w a grain of salt) + a new (potential) love interest has entered the scene (:

— note: idfk why some bits of this fic are so hard to write??? but anyways, i took 3k words of unnecessary chatter and cleaned this part up. so much more satisfied w this than the mess it was yesterday, smh. anyyyyways, this is a burfday post - guess whose? hehe 🥺 hope y'all like the interesting turning of events in here and prepare yourself for the major twists coming w the next chapter! drop me a word~ 💜

ps. the rating, genre and warnings mentioned above pertain to this chapter, only.

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𝐈𝐈 ⇢ 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ♪ you give to me, everything anything that i could dream

“That wraps up all the major delegations,” you announce to the organizing committee gathered around the table before switching to the last slide of your presentation which displays, in a large font – ‘The 2G-Spot’, “and brings us to the last discussion of this meeting – our keynote and our guest of honor.”

"Wait, we still don't have them finalized?" Jackie, the Senior Sales Executive, looks at you with confusion in her gaze. "What happened to the names Zac and I picked out last week?"

You gingerly pull yourself a chair and delicately sit down, eyeing the three anxious faces around you in trepidation. This is gonna cause an uproar. Clearing your throat, you quietly inform them: "Boss man rejected them all."

Three gasps echo around you

"What?" Zac, your Social Media Manager, cries out with more than a little drama, both his arms spread apart and face contorted in a grimace. “I picked out forty-three people and Jackie shortened the list to twenty-seven. How could he not like one profile?”

“None of them fit his criteria of hitting the 2G-Spot.” It feels weird even as you say it, and the three pairs of questioning eyes that oscillate between you and the characters on the screen in absolute bewilderment make you clear your throat in discomfort. “He needs a glam guest and a genius keynote. A g and another g. The 2G-Spot. It’s not—” You break off with a puffed out exhale. “Don’t make me talk about it, please.”

Lea, the final member of your meeting of four, and the company’s Sales Strategist pats your back in a comforting gesture. But her eyes look absolutely soulless when she meets yours. “I can't imagine how that meeting must've gone… My brain's dying a slow death, one braincell at a time, just reading this. Did he not see the euphemism? Or did he intend it?"

You just shake your head, honest to God clueless.

She blinks. "Not that it makes much sense otherwise either, because what the heck does glam even mean?”

“Does he want some model to sit in as our guest?” Jackie squints at the screen, tilting her head as if the words will present you all with an answer if you look at them hard enough. “Does our boss hate us, guys?”

"No other way to explain whatever…this is.",

“I don’t think he hates anybody, he just wants us to – learn. Through hits and misses. And grow.” Lea scrunches her nose up in an evident display of how much she believes her own words.

“Oh, I'm learning alright. Learning how many blood pressure spikes my body can handle everyday before I succumb to heart failure under duress. Is that what he wants, Lea, is it?” Zac definitely carries the most amount of dark humor in your team.

You just exhale, because this is pointless. This cribbing about your boss is helping no one.

So although you more or less agree with the sentiments being thrown around, you don't participate in it. As the Sales Manager, the mess that was last month's sales is partly your responsibility. Marketing and Advertising shoulder the blame, too, but you were also at the center of it.

This workshop, being organized as a result of that fib, thus, has to be perfect and exactly how your boss wants it to be.

“Guys, I know it looks unfair,” you begin consoling your disgruntled team, “but I’m sure Boss is just being careful. Remember how meticulous he was with the selection of all the experts for different sections of the workshop?”

A grunt, a sigh and an eye roll. Wow, enthusiasm is rife in your office today. This won’t do.

"Guy, guys. Stop.” You raise both your palms up and three long faces turn towards you, disappointment pulling them down. “We don't get to do this. Let’s not forget the reason why this workshop is even happening in the first place – we ventured a new product into a new market and it absolutely crashed.”

You clap your hands together, drawing attention to the seriousness of the topic.

“We couldn’t sleep properly for days when the numbers started coming in. Remember? We need to think about how much worse it must have been for Boss. He had to answer his investors and even the media because of how huge the launch event had been.”

Lea’s back straightens at that. Jackie’s pout turns into a frown. Zac finally stops scowling and presses his lips into a concerned line. Wow, are you a good leader or what?

“What we can do, here, is coordinate well with Marketing and Advertising for this event. Help make it a learning experience for all. Find our faults and correct them before the next product launch, so that we don’t even have to play the blame sharing game. How does that sound?"

A collective, uplifted sound of agreement echoes around the huge conference hall. You smile, proudly.

“That’s what I like to hear. So. Let's begin by breaking down the implication of the word glam.”

Zac turns his laptop towards you. “We could bring in our brand ambassadors? We've got an A-list model and a daily soap actor with us. They can be glam, right?”

You look at two pictures on the screen. Both your brand ambassadors are definitely glam. But you somehow don’t believe this is what your boss wants. Besides, what would they even say in their mandatory speech?

“Um, I was thinking more of a customer,” Lea butts in when you’ve been silent for too long. “It can be a fun activity to engage with our consumers. Select someone that has used our products for a long time and ask them to talk about their experience with the company at the workshop?”

“I feel like that’d be a bit too attention grabby,” Jackie points out before you can, and you nod because you were gonna say something along similar lines. “Not to mention, a complicated ordeal to execute less than two weeks before the event.”

"We can push the date back if we really need to," you remind them.

“Agreed with what Jackie said, and also, Lea?” Zac clicks his fingers in front of the girl's face. “We sell bulbs. And a guest that can talk about bulbs at an event cannot be called glam, by any means. At least in my dictionary.”

Chuckling, you slowly nod because they’re all correct on some level. Lea looks at you with a sigh. “I’m out of ideas, then.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the strategist? Use your skills, dude,” Jackie prompts her, which has you standing up to turn off the projector.

“Alright, guys, listen up,” you call for their attention. “We have another hour before work begins, so how about we privately brainstorm some ideas and later discuss ’em?”

You’re just making your way back to your seat when a throat is cleared at the door to the conference room, followed by the sound of knuckles rapping against the glass doors. Your gaze flies up to catch the intruder because you weren’t expecting anyone – and freezes in surprise.

It’s Kim Seokjin. The CEO’s cousin. The gorgeous, model-esque guy who doesn’t work here and yet frequents these offices more than some of the employees. The only person in this building that is literally everyone’s favorite.

Well, more like everyone’s crush, to be honest.

Not you, though. You’re above crushes.

You prefer to be an objective admirer of the breadth of his shoulders, the plumpness of his lips and the symmetry of his facial features. It’s just an aimless appreciation of his looks that you expect nothing out of. You would have tried to sleep with him, though, if Jimin hadn’t yelled at you about it being a bad idea.

Seokjin's blindingly good looks, though, are not what has you gaping at the man like a fish. It's actually his presence here, right now, outside the conference hall which is the only occupied room in your office building right now, while the rest of it awaits the arrival of the company’s employees, an hour from now. You wonder who made a social media post about you all being here early. That is the only way Seokjin could have caught wind of your meeting.

But you especially wonder why he has decided to show up. You didn’t know he knew you existed. But now he’s looking straight at you, gaze expectant and lips smiling softly.

“Oh my God, is that Seokjin?” comes an astonished whisper from Jackie, which launches you into action.

Quickly blinking, you pull a grin upon your face and walk up to the door, letting the really tall and really broad man into the huge conference hall that he manages to somehow belittle by his form.

“Good morning, Mister Kim,” you wish pleasantly but with an undercurrent of confusion in your voice.

Wait, is this the first time you’re talking to him? Why do you feel like a fangirl, right now?

Didn’t you just establish you’re above crushes? Where’s your maturity and detachment at?! Wow, liar.

“Hey,” he says to you with a grin, waving his fingers in a butterfly wave as he walks in. “Your guy Zac posted an Instagram story about you being a hardass that made him wake up at six, so I decided to come in earlier and see what it’s all about.”

Your head snaps to shoot an icy glare at Zac, who just swallows and focuses his wide eyes upon the table.

Seokjin, meanwhile, takes a seat next to the guy. “Good morning, guys. Hope I’m not disrupting your meeting sesh.”

A cacophony of ‘not at all’ and ‘our pleasure’ bursts around you as you look on in surprise. While you make your way back to your chair, your team has filled Seokjin in on your dilemma of the moment, for some reason. You wonder if they have interacted with him better than you have.

"Would you look at that," Seokjin begins after they're done, looking towards you with a smile. His gaze is kinda piercing. It's kinda hot. "You guys encounter a problem and the solution walks right into your meeting!"

You're…confused. What problem does he think you're facing? Given the lost looks on your team members' faces, they don't seem to have any idea either.

"Uh, Mister Kim," Lea begins with a frown, "what…solution…?"

He gives a scoff, chuckling as if he finds Lea's joke very funny. Except, you don't believe she was joking. "Come on. Can there be a better fitted glam guest of honor for your event than yours truly?"

Your jaw slowly drops open, stuck in unsurety because you can't tell if he's being serious or just putting you through some impossible to understand test. But Zac is leaning away to eye Seokjin with a contemplative look on his face, already.

“You, um, you will have to say a few words about the company,” you finally speak up, lashes fluttering in unnecessary self-consciousness against Seokjin’s strong stare. “Some good things. And also about the failed product…a little…”

Seokjin shrugs. “Sounds simple enough, I can do that.”

He can?

Jackie suddenly excuses herself, before getting up and dragging you to the other side of the hall too. “This is a great idea, why are you hesitating?” she hisses at you. “There’s no way Boss will reject his own cousin, ma’am!”

That much is true. “But does he even really know what we do here at Sales?” you whisper your doubts back, which makes your sales executive roll her eyes.

“Of course, he does. He’s here all the time!” He is? When? Does the guy actively avoid you or something? “Come on,” Jackie goes on, “let’s give him his moment to shine. We have nothing to worry about even if he messes up – Boss will have to take charge. Not that he will mess up.” Jackie looks over her shoulder and grins at the other three. “Man loves to talk. He’ll be good as the guest.”

At the end of the day, you remind yourself, it’s just a company workshop. No outsiders, no one to impress but the CEO.

Seokjin is a workable idea.

You finally nod in agreement, which has Jackie clapping once and then joining the group at the table. Before you can join them as well, Seokjin’s call of your name has you stopping.

“You need a keynote, too, right?”

Tentatively, you move your head in a nod. “Uh, yeah… We’re – we’re looking for an industry expert from Marketing, Advertising or Sales itself.”

He squints at you. “Your friend that is here every other week… isn’t he Geisha Global’s Regional Director?”

Jimin?

This dude knows you’ve got a friend that you regularly meet up with after work – and what said friend does for a living? What? How? You’re beginning to wonder if Seokjin just doesn't loiter your hallways out of boredom but is in fact some sort of a detective working for your CEO.

Flustered, you try to formulate a response, “I, um, yeah, but—”

“Brilliant! He’s the director of an ad agency, he’ll make for a fantastic keynote for our little event!” Seokjin gets up and forwards a hand for you to shake.

And you obviously take it, because his fingers are so long, palms so huge, and—oh. His hands are warm, too. Before you can stop yourself, you’re envisioning them wrapped around your throat. And then grabbing your ass.

All that, while you still haven’t said a word about Jimin’s participation in your workshop that you’re more than certain he’ll refuse to, because your best friend despises public speaking.

What the heck is wrong with your horny brain, today?

Your team is looking at you with wide, shocked eyes. Damn, they didn’t know who your friendly, flirty, people pleaser friend is professionally. And now the questions will never stop.

“He’s generally a very busy guy, I hardly even get to see him lately.” Your last night’s clothes are still at his place. You're turning into a pathological liar. “But… I’ll try to catch him in a chat about this over the weekend. He might not have time on his schedule to be able to come, though, but…"

“In that case," Seokjin picks up your incomplete sentence, "maybe you should give him a heads up. You guys are friends, I'm sure he'll prioritize you asking for a favor if you give him enough time."

Is it just you, or is this conversation unbelievably weird?

It probably is just you, though, because everyone is looking at you with an expectant gaze again. Shit, the pressure is physically pressing down on your chest the longer they stare. It's as if they're reaching in to pull your intestines out, your stomach starts to churn so badly.

People's expectations ruin your life because you can't freaking say no.

Coughing, you discreetly press a fist against your collarbones and clear your throat. Yeah, people's expectations cause you breathing troubles. Your therapist deserves a fucking raise for dealing with you. But because you just had an appointment last week, you’re gonna have to dump your stress over Jimin, the second this meeting is over.

“I’ll – I’ll talk to him after work. Arrange for a meet-up whenever he has the time, explain everything about the workshop.”

You're lying again because you plan to meet him during lunch hour today, if he's available. You briefly wonder if you are the one with a lying problem and not Jimin, before nodding at the hopeful faces looking at you.

"I'll tell you guys how it goes. Although, next week might really be a short notice for him."

“Hey, didn’t you say Boss will allow us to push the workshop back if need be?” Lea squints at you and you resist the urge to smack a palm against your forehead. Why did you have to tell them that? “We’ll do that if Jimin wants us to. Oh, should I be saying his name like that?” She winces.

“Please do.” There’s a grimace on your face that you can’t turn into a smile despite your best efforts because what a mess. “Please do.”

"It'd be really cool to have Jimin at the event," Zac murmurs with a small smile, sparkling eyes looking at you hopefully. "He's always such a comforting presence…"

"Yeah, he really is," Katie adds with a nod, eyes similarly glittery.

And you nervously swallow. For all the bravado and the general badass energy you claim to walk around with, it's hilarious how you can never say no to people. No matter how wild the expectations, you're always willing to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone. Which is fucking crazy!

You wonder how you've survived corporate jobs and promotions without sucking any dick. Maybe you're lucky to not have faced truly lecherous people.

The point of the matter being, you feel like you're gonna have to drag your best friend to the workshop if these guys pin so much hope onto you.

Seokjin suddenly claps his hands together with a large smile on his face.

"That is wonderful!" he exclaims, as if he has anything to do with this workshop at all. This man would have been so freaking irritating if he wasn't so damn handsome. Sigh. "Please convince Jimin to join us next week?"

Oh God, now he has a shimmer in his eyes too? Why are these people doing this to you?

“I – I’ll talk to him… No promises, though, guys—”

“I’m sure he won’t say no to you,” Zac says to you with a sage smile that makes him look twice his age and makes no sense to you. “You guys are best friends.”

You awkwardly nod, unable to figure out a response. You fear noisy breathing sounds would come out of you if you opened your mouth. So you keep your lips sealed and stealthily reach into your bag to extract your phone.

Texting Jimin cannot wait till after the meeting, you're minutes away from hyperventilating.

Text Message to Min 🌟 ↳ SOS ↳ meet for lunch today?

The response comes within five seconds, and you’re so fucking thankful your phone was on silent. He’s generally very busy, yeah right.

Text Message from Min 🌟 At my office @ 1 Bring pizza From the eatery down my block Pls 👅 ** 🥺 I MEANT 🥺 I SWEAR

Why is your best friend a literal clown? You immediately lock your phone and slide it into your pant’s pocket, holding in the snort that threatens to escape. Well, at least his typo has caused you to breathe easier now.

"That officially concludes this meeting, I guess," you finally say, voice a little tight as you avoid everyone's excited gaze by looking at your laptop. You clear your throat with pursed lips. "We have twenty minutes before work starts, so grab a coffee or some breakfast if you skipped this morning."

Your team, along with Seokjin, bounds out of the conference hall like enthusiastic children, leaving you behind to slowly collect your stuff. You do so with a sigh, already dreading the conversation you will have to have with Jimin.

“I have been blindsided.” Your best friend is frowning at you, hands crossed against his chest petulantly as he leans back in his revolving chair. “This doesn’t sound SOS-y at all."

You exhale. “Jimin—”

“No, first of all, where’s my pizza? Second of all – why would you suggest my name for a public speaking stint when you know I don't like public speaking? Neither of these acts exhibit best friend behavior.”

“There was a mile long queue outside of your damn eatery, okay? And my break lasts thirty minutes, so—”

“Your company isn’t strict on lunch timing, don’t try to fool me.”

“—so, I ordered your pizza online and it’ll be here in the next five minutes.”

He shuts up that, lips curving up in an excited smile. “Hey now, why didn’t you lead with that? I would’ve been more understanding.”

Your eyebrows rise up in expectation.

“Which means I would’ve rejected you softly, instead of yelling at you.”

You deflate again.

“No, don’t get all pouty on me. You know about my weird introversion about public speaking.”

“It’s called stage fright, stop making up new shit.”

“Case in point – you know I don’t like it. Why didn't you say no on my behalf? You’re my best friend, you should be on my side, not your company’s.”

Keeping the way Jimin is dramatically making this a bigger deal than it really is aside, you’re getting irritated at his claims upon your friendship. You do know he doesn’t like it, which is why your immediate thought when Seokjin brought him up was that he won’t agree to do it. You tried to dissuade them so many times, citing Jimin's non-existent busy schedule. Where's your credit for that attempted resistance? Nowhere! Instead, the guy seems to think you had a hand in encouraging this.

"I didn't say no because no one would believe me if I told them a company's Regional Director isn't fond of public speaking." You eye him, askance.

"That feels oddly offensive…"

"Jimin. Be fucking for real. You speak at events, like, every week. What's one more added to the pile?"

"I do that because I'd be out of a job if I don't," he bemoans, eyes shut and face crumpled like a toddler's. "Public speaking as a favor is a completely different exercise that I do not wish to participate in, nuh-uh. Pass."

“What if I’m out of a job because I couldn’t persuade you to come?”

He gapes at you. “It cannot possibly be that serious, babe, it’s just an office workshop!”

“You know what my boss is like – every fucking thing is a huge fucking thing for him,” you grouse, shaking your head.

“Is there no one else you could think of, though?”

Okay, yeah, that’s enough. You’re gonna have to tell him it wasn’t your idea because this is getting irritating. Seokjin’s name gets you earfuls, so you will avoid mentioning he was the one who instigated this, but you can at least tell Jimin that it wasn’t you.

“I didn’t bring up your name as a prospect, Min,” you finally clarify upon an exhale, watching the way his eyebrows slowly start to furrow. "It was…suggested. Because you’re kind of famous, you know? And people at my office know you.”

He leans over the table, a crease in his brow. “You didn’t? Then who did?”

You wave a dismissive hand. “They’re not important.”

“They? Are you being ambiguous or is that their pronoun?” He squints into space, mumbling something to himself, and then shakes his head. “Nope, you don’t have a non-binary coworker in your department, you’re just being ambiguous. Which – a lack of representation. Ask your HR to look into it, okay?"

Scowling, you shake your head at him. "How can you possibly know that?”

“Babe. I know everyone in your department.” He gives you a flat stare. “By name. So, spill. Who was it?” His eyes suddenly widen, glee spreading over his face slowly. “Wait, is it Lea? Your sales strategist?”

Ugh, he’s really on a first-name basis with your entire department. It’ll take him minutes to go down the list and you'll have to lie to get out of this. Or just tell him the truth and face that lecture on why seducing Seokjin is a bad idea.

You shake your head with a resigned sigh.

“Given how she’d looked at me with really wide, shocked eyes, no." With an eye roll, you rest your face on a palm and lean on his desk. "I don't think she even knew what you do for a living… Much like the others.”

“No? Oh.” He slumps back in his seat, lips downturned. And then he sits up again with renewed joy. “Ooh, wait, is it your sales exec? Katlyn? Katie? She always says hi to me, right? Wow, she’s kinda hot…” He leans across the table with a wide grin. “Tell you what, I’ll agree for the keynote thing if you set me up with her.”

“What? No and no, Jimin! You can't date people from my office!” You scoff at the guy when he rolls his eyes. “I mean you can’t date, period, but you shouldn’t even hook up with people from my office."

Jimin gives a drawn out groan, ever the dramatic bitch. “Why?”

“Because.” You shut your eyes and massage your forehead. “Because it’ll make things weird for me.”

“Weird? Why?” He wiggles his eyebrows, a smirk on his lips. “Do your colleagues think we're a thing too?”

You read forth to flick at his forehead.

“Ow, what the hell?”

“Yeah, what the hell? No, they don’t, Jimin. And it’s not Katie, okay?”

“FIne, okay, so then who was it? Why’re you being so mysterious about it?”

He is looking at you through narrowed eyes now, peering into your very soul. And immediately, your brain rushes to compare his stare with that of Seokjin’s for no other reason but to ruin your already tiresome day.

Seokjin looked at you with pretty much the same intensity as Jimin, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. Whereas your best friend seems to be scrutinizing you as if you’ve been placed on a slide under a microscope. And yet, the alternating warm and cold currents that run through your nerve endings right now affect you worse than Seokjin’s flirtatious smiles did.

Oh God. The morning’s rush made you almost forget about your recent sexual awakening regarding your best friend. Ew, sounds gross even in your head.

But now that you have reminded your brain of the same – including the innuendo-infused face-off you two had in the bathroom and the wet dream that you had last night – it decides to conjure up all these scenarios where Jimin gives you this exact stare, but in an atmosphere with a dimmer, warmer lighting and few to no clothes on your bodies.

Oh. God.

Desperate to distract yourself from witnessing what is sure to be a very embarrassing x-rated video featuring you and Jimin in your head, you resort to initiating the one conversation you planned to avoid when you came here.

With clenched fists, you stare at the back of Jimin’s laptop, and exhale in a rush: “Okay, fine, it was Seokjin.”

Jimin draws away from the table, back flattening against his chair as if shoved by the force of your words. You just focus on your breathing while you wait for him to respond, strictly keeping your eyes away from his person and trying to fill your head with work-related, appropriate thoughts.

“Kim Seokjin?” Jimin finally mumbles, pulling your gaze to his frown. “Your boss’ cousin, Kim Seokjin?”

“Do you know any other Kim Seokjins?” you grumble, crossing your arms against your chest in irritation.

You’re being unfairly cranky because it’s not even Jimin’s fault at this point. You’re the one with a malfunctioning, horny brain which keeps making you feel like a teenager, Jimin’s just living his life.

So you exhale in resignation, and nod. “I mean, yeah. That’s the one.”

“Dude,” he begins in an accusatory tone, shaking his head at you, “you're totally trying to use me to impress him.”

Rolling your eyes, you resist the urge to groan in frustration. “Impress him? For what?”

“Didn't we establish that your crush on him was a bad idea because you shouldn't sleep with your boss’ cousin?”

This time you let the groan escape. “I am not crushing on him anymore, Min! I just…like to look at him from a distance, just some objective admiration…”

Jimin blinks at you. “That's what a crush is.”

“Absolutely not! I respect him and like how he looks, without any unrealistic expectations and imaginary scenarios.” You shrug your shoulders, trying to act nonchalant in the face of the imagery of Kim Seokjin’s gorgeous hands on your throat and/or your ass. “Just some friendly admiration, as – as I said.”

“No, you said objective admiration.” Jimin goes back to observing you like a specimen under a microscope. “And to me, that still sounds like you wanna sleep with him.”

“Untrue, it’s just—”

“Well, do you wanna date him, then?” He raises a brow, a weird eagerness spreading across his face as if he wants you to say yes.

Maybe he actually does, maybe this is him hopping onto the ‘I will convince you to get back in the dating game’ bandwagon again. God, he’s so annoyingly persistent.

“No, Jimin, no way in hell.” You glare at him. “Okay, you know what? Everyone else backed him up too, so I'm not tryna impress just him. The others in my department want you to be there, too. They even talked about pushing the date back to accommodate you.”

“Aha! So Katie does remember me!” He claps his hands and rubs them together. “See, soulmates.”

“You literally called her Katlyn twice…” You deadpan.

“Ah, that's a minor blip that I and Katlyn—Katie," he corrects with a wince. Then clearing his throat, he grins at you again. "I and Katie will work through it, don't you worry."

“Jimin. Please. Everyone will really love it if you’re there. Zac even said you’re a comforting presence…”

He frowns at you. “Zac? Ellis? Oh man, does he still think I was flirting with him that one time? Please clarify it to him that I’m straight, Y/N!”

“It was you that told him and Jiah that story about you hooking up with a guy in college, Min,” you remind him with a giggle, resting your chin on a fist to wiggle your eyebrows at him. “What did you expect to gain out of that, if not an admirer?”

Jimin seems to get a bit serious at that. “I… Well, they just looked kinda tired, sad and uncomfortable, you know? So I thought I’d cheer them up a bit with a fun anecdote…”

His response is so genuine and so wholly him, that your heart goes out for the guy. You reach forth with your free hand to pat the back of his own. “I get it, buddy. But you don’t have to always comfort everyone. You need to think about your own comfort and happiness at times, too. What you need, instead of always taking care of what others need from you.”

He looks at you with wide eyes and then slowly nods. “What I need, huh?” he mumbles, blinking with so much innocence in his gaze, it’s uncanny. “How about that pizza I asked for?”

You lift your fingers off his fist and bring them back down in a snap. Can never have a serious conversation with this for two seconds.

“Ow!”

Checking your phone for the ETA with a roll of your eyes, you hiss at him, “Will be here in less than three minutes. Asshole.”

He just giggles, entirely gleeful and not one bit sympathetic about your predicament. And then he surprises you by getting up and squeezing your shoulder. "I'll think about it, okay?

Eyes going wide and lips curving up, you jump out of the chair to hold him by his forearms. "You will?"

"I said think," he corrects you, but there's a resigned smile on his face which tells you he's gonna say yes.

"That's good enough," you hurriedly tell him before engulfing your best friend in a bear hug. "Thank you, thank you!"

"You are really not welcome to this again and it absolutely won't be my pleasure," he grumbles into your shoulder.

You wack him on the back, and relax in his grasp, silently asking to pull away. "That's enough emotion for a week, Min…"

He throws you away with a scowl, but there's no real heat to it. You laugh at his irritated face, settling down again to fill him in about the details of the workshop so that he can prepare his speech.

Barely into your discussion, the pizza arrives. You two share it while you discuss some points he wishes to make in his speech.

When you finally take your leave, his secretary is on the phone right outside his office doors. You wave at the girl you know is a sweetheart, and she absently smiles at you.

That is when her words register to you:

"...lunch with his girlfriend so we had rescheduled you for three o'clock, but he is available now, if you wish to meet-up?"

The girlfriend part gives you a pause but doesn't really shock you, because now you know what goes on at Jimin's office. What has you stopping completely in place and frowning – is the postponed meeting part. Did Jimin cancel a prior engagement to make room for you?

Whipping out your phone, you shoot him a text.

Text Message to Min 🌟 ↳ did u have a lunch meeting?

His response takes a while, only pinging your phone when you've exited the building and are getting into your car.

Text Message from Min 🌟 Uh 🧍🏻‍♂️ You JUST left my office??? And we had lunch together? So I'd say yeah

↳ no smartass ↳ i mean a scheduled one

Min 🌟 Well Kinda? But it's no issue, I got it pushed to 3

↳ it is an issue w ME! ↳ see this behavior is exactly why your office thinks we're dating ↳ why would u push back a meeting to have lunch w me???

Min 🌟 Because you literally told me it was an SOS situation!

↳ oh

Now you feel kinda dumb. You made the guy postpone a meeting because of a situation that was a lot less than an SOS, if you're being honest. But he should know you're prone to exaggeration.

↳ i'm sorry?

Min 🌟 Are you apologizing for having lunch with me? Because I will physically tackle you to the ground and make you take it back 😠

Your best friend is insufferable but also really fucking cute.

↳ apologizing for delaying your meeting ↳ and causing u to stay longer at the office potentially

Min 🌟 It'll be fine with me if you need to grab your stuff from my place and run home while I’m gone

↳ yeahhhh was kinda hoping I could do that 😬

Min 🌟 You never have to think so hard with me, grumpkim <3

Ew, what the hell is that?

↳ …tf? ↳ is this a new nickname you're trying?

Min 🌟 Yes!!! Isn't it adorable? Like pumpkin cause you’re cute but grumpy because that's your natural state of being :)

↳ okay one - i am NOT grumpy, just a lil short tempered ↳ which im working on rectifying ↳ and two - no cheesy nicknames bw us hello??? u yelled at me for calling u bestie once!!!!

There isn't a response for a while, so you start your car and drive back to your office. You're ten minutes past the lunch break ending, but just as Jimin said, one of the only redeeming qualities to your boss is that he isn't hard about lunch timings.

It's when you've settled into your cabin and have pulled your phone out to keep it on your desk that you notice Jimin's response.

Text Message from Min 🌟 You were friend-zoning me with the “bestie” tag How am I supposed to flirt with you if you do that?

You can’t help the snort that leaves you. This is so on-brand of him, it’s almost funny.

↳ soooo “grumpkin” is flirtatious?

His reply comes instantly:

Min 🌟 It can be if I want it to be ;)

You hate the way that stupid freaking winky face makes your cheeks warm.

This is your childhood best friend, for fuck’s sake! What the hell is wrong with your brain?

The longer you stare at the text, the warmer your face feels. And the warmer your face feels, the hotter your heads get.

At the end of a whole minute when you are beginning to feel how Bruce Banner must feel right before his transformation, you grab your phone and lock the screen, leaving your best friend on read. But that doesn’t feel quite enough, so you jerk a drawer of your desk open and toss the stupid device with your stupid best friend’s stupid text into it.

Just as you have shoved the drawer close, Jackie, passing your office by right that moment, stops to raise her eyebrows. “Need a mallet to deal with that?”

If you could take a mallet to your stupid brain and beat the stupid parts with the stupid thoughts about your stupid best friend out of it, you would take Jackie upon her stupid offer.

The next few days are normal, but…very strange, at the same time.

Normal on the front that work goes back to the usual. No unwanted, tiresome meetings await you at the office, your boss having been really satisfied with the final choices your team submitted for the guest of honor and keynote appearances at the workshop next Friday. Sane working hours leave you feeling productive and a lot energized.

The strange part comes in the form of one Kim Seokjin.

Guy’s been sort of hovering around you lately, and you don’t exactly hate the attention. You’ve decided you’re not gonna “fuck and chuck him” like Jimin has told you not to. Mostly because your best friend never butts into your love-life (read: the academic roll of people going through your bed, but anyways), while for this one guy he has been screaming at you to not do it, every chance he gets.

You’re gonna respect that. And also, you get what he means. Fooling around with your boss’ cousin with no intention of getting serious has the highly delicate risk of complicating things at your workplace a bit. Or more than a bit, depending upon how badly you deal with it – and you usually break your own records of how badly you’re dealing with an ex-lover.

So. You’re not gonna sleep with Seokjin.

But, you’re absolutely giving back your one-hundred percent into the dangerous smirks and heavy glances he sends you any time you meet his gaze, which you find yourself doing a lot of. You’re not breaking any rules if you present him with the hope of possibly pursuing something, right? And who knows? You might actually end up dating, too. Finally break the freaking fast!

It’s strange but also strangely fun doing this, if you’re being honest. And also, this whole back and forth is kinda helpful in keeping your mind somewhat off of the x-rated thoughts your brain has recently found out it loves conjuring up about your best friend. Like, seriously, you feel like you need a fucking mental intermission to get your brain to recover from the constant overdrive it has been riding around in for nearly a week now. It’s exhausting when you have to ward off a variation of the same repetitive thought twenty times in a single hour.

Your interactions with Seokjin have helped a bit in that regard, dwindling it down to five thoughts an hour, Which is a lot workable, so you call it definite progress.

But, despite all of that, this feels wrong to you.

You’re not necessarily betraying Seokjin, right? You don’t even know if he is as much into it as it seems! And who is to say that you aren’t? You could date him if you want. Jimin would be so proud! What the hell is your problem?

You wonder if this is just a psychological repulsion born out of your self-imposed ban on dating? In the way that you have gotten so used to steering clear of anything touching the themes of ‘romance’ that your mind now detects those thoughts as something negative?

In all honesty, you ought to be feeling negatively about all the way your imagination has been running wild about Jimin. Those are the kind of thoughts that stand to harm your deep and profound friendship of years.

But what do they do, instead?

Leave your panties wet.

It is when emotionally available, interested in you and not a childhood friend that you might lose forever Seokjin brushes past you with a meaningful smile that you get this sense of foreboding. As if you shouldn’t be allowing this to happen between you and a perfectly handsome, well-natured, intelligent and funny guy.

Why aren’t you scared of losing your best friend but wish to hide away from a guy you should be fantasizing climbing up?

It could be because you know Jimin is safe. As in, nothing will come out of having thoughts about him because you will never act upon him. But with Seokjin, things are tangible. If you give him signs, he might actually pursue you with a seriousness that might actually, really, factually lead to a romantic entanglement.

Wait… so this is basically your commitment phobia making your life difficult again?

Sure sounds like it.

Your ex should be burnt in fucking hell. And your therapist definitely deserves a raise, damn.

So aside from the whole whatever the fuck you’re doing with Seokjin, the days following Monday go by pretty normally – until, that is, things take a turn.

The first wave of change hits you on Friday.

Zac Ellis comes into work late and somehow catches your boss’ eye. Which leads to your boss unnecessarily giving you all an hour long lecture on the importance of punctuality. Which, in turn, makes you all stay an hour late to finish up the day’s tasks because it is the end of the week.

By the time you finally get to leave, ten minutes later than your team as is the curse of a Team Leader, you are dead on your feet. Dragging yourself out of your cabin, you yawn with your mouth thrown wide open and eyes squeezed shut, allowing them to water. You are dreaming of cuddling under some blankets with a heating pad between you and the cushions because your back hurts like a bitch.

Your colleagues don’t seem to share the sentiment, though, because the six pm clock out time gives them the idea of going out for dinner together.

“Guys… you should go on without me, I’m really tired,” you politely tell them, shaking your head when Lea pouts at you. “Seriously. I would if I could, but I just want to get into bed and sleep for ten hours today.”

“Ah, understandable.” It is Seokjin that speaks up, emerging from the group to smile at you. Yep, one of those secret smiles that seem to convey more than what is visible. “Some days ask ten hours of sleep out of you.”

You give him an awkward chuckle, unsure how to maintain a civil conversation with the guy with all the heavy gazing from the past three days. Especially in front of the entire Sales department.

“Yeah…” You lamely nod, watching as the crowd of people begins to shuffle away from you and towards the elevators.

Seokjin looks at you again, kinda smacking you in the face with his good looks with the way he gives you a lopsided smirk. One of his eyebrows arches up and it’s certain death to your brain, because the damn organ forgets to work your lungs and your oxygen supply just cuts off.

“I hope this wasn’t due to…” He trails off and steps closer. You just started breathing again but now you wish you hadn’t, because his cologne is delicious and makes you want to sniff him. Fuck. “Was it?”

You quickly shake your head to assure him. “No, no! Absolutely not, please trust me.” Forcing a smile upon your face, you thickly swallow and will yourself to not break eye contact. “I really am very tired.”

“I was looking forward to having dinner over some casual chat with you, but… I understand.” He smiles at you fully.

It doesn’t feel nice saying no to such a friendly, harmless invite. To a group gathering, too. But because you are sincerely not kidding about the kind of pain your body is in, you grimace at the man. “I am truly sorry, Seokjin. Raincheck?”

If he finds your sudden usage of his name odd – because you are pretty sure you have never said it out loud before; and it has been well-established that your brain is a dangerous place so whatever happens up there doesn’t count – he doesn’t show it. But your response makes his eyes glimmer a little, and his smile turns serene.

“That is quite okay,” he tells you with a wave of his hand. “How about tomorrow? Just us? That Korean BBQ place down the block?”

You blink, a bit taken aback by the sudden invite. “Uh…”

“My treat.” He smiles conspiratorially, and you wonder if he thinks that the prospect of free food is enticing to you.

Like, of course it is, but of course he shouldn’t know that.

You take a moment and then shrug. “Sounds good to me. What time?”

“I’ll text you.”

He waves as the two of you get into the elevators with the last of your floor’s members, and you wave back with a small smile that matches his own.

It is when you are pulling your car out of the building that it hits you.

Just us… My treat… And that smile? Dude just asked you out on a date!

i, he didn’t specify the word and it may as well actually be a friendly dinner, but… It is definitely going to be a dinner with benefits. Fuck.

And you said yes because you are the biggest dumbass of the century.

“He wasn’t thinking about free food, you absolute idiot!” you yell at yourself.

Your mind immediately goes to Jimin.

What would he say? What would he think? Theory says he will be over the moon, but also… this is Seokjin and the dinner could still be a dinner-with-benefits thing and not an actual, official situation, so.

You really don’t know what your best friend will say.

But you really care about what it will be.

God, you need to call him as soon as you get home, fuck your back!

“Ow!” a pang of pain runs across the small of your back as you accelerate away from an intersection.

Okay, no, not fuck your back. Nap first, Jimin immediately after.

links to be updated at a later date!

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