#i just need to calm down and remember that like 70% of my thoughts and feelings are completely irrational and i should ignore them

[invisiblyvisiblejay]

what if i just went home lol like literally just fucking walked out and walked home like technically it's 8 and the meeting is over i could just not fucking go back

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: the show of unfairness and the triumph of people’s hearts

My god, this year left me exhausted.

It’s 1:30 am, the Eurovision Grand Final just ended and I am starting to write this post now, because I need some time to calm myself before going to bed. And maybe putting down some thoughts about this year will help me find some peace - at least for a couple hours.

This year has not been what was supposed to be, starting from the show and ending with the winner.

But let’s start from the beginning.

______________________________

Ukraine: robbed of their own show

We all know Ukraine couldn’t host Eurovision in their country because of the war, so they asked the UK to do that.

And the UK tried to be a good host. They reminded us of the reason why Ukraine couldn’t do it, they tried to call Ukrainian artists and make the show about them... only to systematically forget it two minutes later and start acting as if they won and this was their show.

I hope now you understand why last year I said to not give them power over anything. The UK has a tiny little problem called “massive ego” and if you give them a little crumb, they will immediately scarf the whole cake down.

This year should’ve been 70% Ukraine themed and 30% UK themed. What we had instead was the other way around: the UK gave us a tiny little interval show in the semifinals about Ukraine, then a massive show all about the UK.

The Gran Final has been the icing on this disgusting cake. It started with a bang, featuring all of our favourite Ukrainian artists in the span of five minutes: Tina Karol (I had no idea she was Ukrainian, what a nice surprise!), goddess Verka, my beloved Go_A with The Only Queen That Matters, aka Kateryna Pavlenko. And, of course, our favourite winners: the Kalush Orchestra. Man Carpet is still an icon and I still wonder what the singer sees behind that pink hat, but I don’t care. It’s perfect, it’s great, I want this but 200x more. I want them to steal the show, I want them in all interval acts. But no worries, I’m sure they will definitely appear more during the final. I mean, there’s no way the UK called them just to appear for 20 seconds, right? Right?

Oh sorry, my bad. I forgot this isn’t Ukraine’s show, this is UK’s show. We should definitely have Sam Ryder in the interval act and we should definitely make it all about English songs. I mean, it’s not like there are four of the most beloved Ukrainian artists in Liverpool. Let’s make it all a huge masturbation session of the UK instead.

I apologize if my metaphor offended someone, but this is what I felt while watching the UK celebrating itself. Like... can’t you do this in a private room? Do I really have to watch it? This is just one step below Portugal’s show, which showed a massive ego as well and tortured me for three nights straight, by repeating how cool they were and how nice they were and how I would’ve done a great choice visiting them.

But even if that was torture, at least Portugal was the winner of the previous year, not a host masturbating over the fact they are allowed to host a show they didn’t win.

The only choice I fully approve of in this show is the postcards idea: that was very elegant and respectful and I want to thank the person who thought about it. The cards show Ukraine’s beautiful places, UK’s beautiful places and every country’s beautiful places. It’s all beautiful and it’s a great way to both honor Ukraine and emphasize UK’s hosting role, since it looks almost like the UK acts as a “connection” between Ukraine and every other country.

Unfortunately for us, this is the last proof of elegance we will see for the rest of the show.

______________________________

Danemark and Poland: robbed even before starting

Do you remember Danemark’s and Poland’s entries? I know, me neither. Bland, forgetful, two huge balls of nothing.

Well, I have a good news and a bad one. The good one is that Danish and Polish people are not insane and their musical tastes are actually way better than this. The bad news is that the two entries we got (Bejba and Tiktokkid) were not supposed to win their country’s competition, because the public’s favourites were different. But, like, VERY different.

Same thing happened last year for Spain, but at least Chanel was able to put on a great show - even if her song was boring. Danemark and Poland didn’t have that either: one gave us a meme, the other gave us nothing. Disappointing.

So let’s clean Danemark’s and Poland’s names, by listening to the artists they were actually supposed to bring. Let’s start with Danemark and please, tell me if the tiktok kid is better than this (if you dare):

And before you think: “oh my gosh, this could’ve been a great entry for Danemark!”, please listen to what Poland was supposed to bring:

I love this song. I love this cute nice boy. I love the classical vibes. And when I played this song for my father, my 70-year-old father told me, with no hesitation: “Oh, this is way better than the other one!”.

So if a 70-year-old can recognize how good this song is, then there’s no generational gap and it’s not true that people are accustomed to the same boring stuff. If a song is good, is good. If a song is bland, is bland.

By now you probably already heard from Polish people about how the voting system of their competition was rigged and how Blanka won thanks to the power of nepotism. So our duty as Europeans (and as people with some fucking taste) is to stream Gladiator, listen to all of his songs and shower this boy with love because he needs to know the world loves him.

And for you all, Polish people: thank you for making us know about your true winner. He really looks like one and we love him too.

______________________________

Germany: robbed while trying

I really cannot understand why people keep hating Germany this much. Is it still because of WW2? What did they do, to deserve the bottom of the chart? I know it’s funny, I know it’s for the memes ah ah ah, but also... come on. Come. On. Are you really telling me that Poland was better than Germany? Are you really telling me that the UK was better than Germany?

I can assure you that if Sweden brought this exact same song, the jury would’ve given this song 300 points. But hey, ThE jUrY iS iMpArTiAl, right?

German people: I don’t know why the world hates you. I think you would’ve gotten more votes, if only the system wasn’t so stupidly rigged and forced everyone to choose one winner only, hoping to defeat the jury’s sheer power. Personally, I enjoyed your song and I enjoyed Lord of the Lost and I will definitely listen to more of their songs to add to my playlist.

However, I also understand your frustration. So you know what? Just go nuts. Choose whoever the fuck you want to represent your country, attend Eurovision whenever you want and do whatever you want, give us insane shit and amazing stuff. You will be treated the same either way, so why give a fuck? Have fun showing your insane side, I will support you 100%.

______________________________

Italy and Israel: what did they ever do to deserve these places?

As an Italian, I am honored people gave so many votes to Italy. Seriously, thank you all, nice to know people appreciate our singers.

But also: why so many votes? Why? I know Mengoni is a good singer, he has a great voice and if this was a real singing competition he would’ve probably deserved to win.

But since Eurovision is not a singing competition, why all these points? Were people really so in love with this ballad? Why? What does he have I cannot understand?

Even more important: why Israel, with their stupid unicorn song, got all these votes? Why? Is it because she’s good-looking? Seriously? Are we still stuck thinking with our genitals, instead of using our brains? I thought Europe moved past the need of thinking with genitals only and started developing some good fucking taste.

Or did her amazing “dance moves” get the public? Ok, she’s very flexible... but do I really really have to remind you of Chanel? A small dance segment is really worth so many points, when last year we had someone who was able to sing AND dance as she did for the entire song? I didn’t even like Chanel, but I am mature enough to recognize that THAT was a show, while the unicorn lady did nothing more than a small dance. Definitely not worth 185 public votes.

At least I know that my country didn’t go insane and the true points (aka the public’s points) didn’t go to the unicorn but to Moldova. Thank god, we are still able to recognize what’s good.

______________________________

Finland: the real winner

When Eurovision started, I was sure Czechia would’ve been the winner. However, their performance wasn’t enough to grant them victory.

Finland, however, had everything a winner needs. And now I will explain to you why, because I love this funky green man and you should love him too.

1) “A little man from Vantaa”

Käärijä is a rare gem, not just for Eurovision, but in general. He’s a simple, genuine, silly guy, who comes from a city few people knew before. He doesn’t speak English too well, but he tries and fails in comically sweet ways. He’s a huge fan of Rammstein, so he’s a man of culture. He became besties with Bojan from the Slovenian band Joker Out and their bromance has been the best part of this Eurovision: these two share one single braincell and I love them for this.

But, most of all, he’s humble. He never considered himself above all others, even after his victory. He knew right from the start that it would’ve been a battle between him and Loreen and yet, he never grew arrogant about it. He always talked about their rivalry in funny ways, through memes and by treating her nicely. But he also never underestimated her: he always put his whole self into every performance, knowing full well he had to give everything, to reach the public’s hearts.

And he did. He reached the public’s hearts and like many others all over the world, I also love this little man. He’s genuine, he’s honest, he’s a fashion icon (Finland changes their flag to green when), his dancers are funky and nice like him. You look at him once and all you can think is: “I want to protect him at all costs”. It’s just impossible to hate this man.

2) His song is a banger

Not only his song is a fusion of three genres (industrial metal, hyperpop and hip-hop/rap), so he’s already serving you three songs in one, but the language he used is Finnish.

I’ve heard Finnish people saying that they never used their language because it’s “too weird”. People, that’s exactly because it’s weird that you should use it! You have this gem and you hide it to us?!

If you don’t know why Finnish is so great, please consider that while all other European languages are part of the Indo-European family, Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian are not. They are part of a completely different family (the Uralic languages).

That means they have nothing similar to any other European language. They are something completely different and new, a whole new world to explore. And they’re here, in our continent!

In addition to that, Finnish is an agglutinative language, which means words are formed by stringing together morphemes. How fucking cool is that? I love this kind of language!

As someone who studied English, French, German and Russian, Finnish is something that gets my attention. I can recognize similarities between Germanic, Slavic and Italic languages and I love them, but Finnish is an unexplored world. It’s made of sounds that well, sound familiar even if they’re not. It’s a constant surprise, you know?

Also, I love that it’s a language full of vowels because it makes me think of my own mother tongue (Italian). It’s a bit like feeling at home, even if our languages have nothing in common <3

3) The best performance of Eurovision 2023

I love the Croatian daddies like the next person (and I’m glad the public gave them the top 10 because they deserve it), but Käärijä’s performance had everything: it told us a story (i.e. how Käärijä slowly emerges from behind his barriers to join the party), he gave us the best stupid dance moves and there’s even a family-friendly human centipede. What else do you need, to start dancing?

Also, another shoutout to his dancers, because I live for those shocking pink dresses and for their immensely creepy expressions. And I live for the public always welcoming them with screams: they deserve it.

I know you already enjoyed it 200 times, but you know what? Let’s fucking destroy the views of this video and let’s watch it again. And also, let’s notice how much the public enjoys it. How much they screamed, how they sang with him, how they enjoyed this party.

Even without knowing Käärijä, you can feel he put his whole self into this. And the public felt it too.

And the final result was astonishing: he got 376 points from the public. It’s the second-highest public score, after Kalush Orchestra, who got 439 points.

If you notice, Käärijä’s percentage is even higher than Kalush Orchestra’s! And such a high result means one thing and one thing only: the public has chosen its winner. He is the winner. People are sovereign and people’s will has been very clear about it. So when I say he’s the winner, it’s not because I want to indulge him: it’s because it’s the fucking truth.

Also, please notice the kind of songs the public chose as their top 3 favorites: songs with nothing mainstream and native languages. All while the jury thinks what we want is the same boring shit we can hear on the radio 24/7.

______________________________

A painful evening

Let me start by making something clear: I don’t hate Loreen and I don’t hate Sweden. It’s not their fault if they win. They are just exploiting the situation, because they learned what the good formula is and keep using it over and over.

Loreen knows that if she sends another song that is just like all the others she made, she will get a high position. And now, thanks to yesterday’s victory, she knows she doesn’t even have to try. Why should she do something different, when doing the same thing twice made her win twice? Why try something different, why step out of her comfort zone? If she does the same thing, she can win. So she will keep doing the same thing.

Same goes for the entire country of Sweden. They learned that if they bring the most boring, generic pop song you can listen to on every radio on planet Earth, you will win. So, they will keep sending it. After all, a bland pop song is what the world is more accustomed to, so why change? Why do something different, when they can be teacher’s pet and always get a high score? This isn’t being stupid, this is being clever.

But is it elegant and fair too? Oh honey, absolutely not. This is the exact opposite of what elegance and fairness are.

On Saturday evening, when we reached the voting part of the show, the crowd literally CHEERED AND SANG Käärijä’s name or “Cha Cha Cha”. Multiple times.

Once the public clearly states who they want to win, then the competition is over. When the consensus is unanimous, there’s no competition anymore. The winner is already here. Everything else is just white noise and bureaucracy.

That’s what I felt, while I was forced to keep listening to a bunch of people loudly kissing Sweden’s ass. The public had already decided, we already have a winner. Why are we still wasting time?

And if forcing us to keep listening to this pitiful charade was not enough, the hosts decided to lose that shred of elegance that was still left on this joke of a show and not only shushed the public all time but even said “just ignore everyone”, as if their voices didn’t really matter. It’s not like this is a music competition and the public is the final receiver of said music, after all.

I don’t know you, but I don’t like to see the sovereign public being silenced and told they do not matter, all while a bunch of people takes the decisions for them. Maybe the Brits are accustomed to being silenced because an old rich man has to decide for them, but other countries don’t work like that. Like, you know, the one they’re hosting the competition for.

There was nothing democratic about Saturday evening. There was nothing fair in silencing the public and pretending they haven’t chosen their winner one hour ago, because teacher’s pet had to win again.

Do you really think Sweden deserved this victory more than Finland? Do you really think that a country that won six times needed to add this victory to their list, so they can say “ah ah we won as many times as Ireland”? Or just because they can do their stupid ABBA anniversary next year? Is this the reason why we choose our winner, now? The past glories of a country? Well, then in 2048 is the anniversary of Dana International’s winning song, let’s all go to Israel! And in 2056 we’ll go to Finland, because it’s the anniversary of Lordi’s winning. And in 2071 will be 50 years from the Maneskin’s victory, so let’s come back to Italy.

What, does that sound ridiculous? Tell that to the jury, then.

I feel immensely sorry for the Finnish people, because I read online how much this victory could’ve meant for them. This could’ve been so important, such a good chance to shine for a country that considers their language “too weird” and who hasn’t won in 17 years. And since they are stuck between that ticking bomb that is Russia and the always perfect Sweden, they really needed something that gave them more positive attention.

And it broke my heart even more to see Käärijä suffering. He even apologized to his nation. He did something amazing and he still apologized. He literally won and apologized for not winning. That’s unfairness to its finest.

And if all of this is not enough, the results of the public’s vote came out and oh, look, not a single country gave 12 points to Sweden, while almost every country gave 12 points to Finland. Wow, who would’ve fucking guessed that teacher’s pet won because of the teacher.

Again: does that seem fair and democratic to you?

______________________________

Oligarchy masqueraded as democracy

Let’s do a little bit of math, shall we?

Each national jury consists of five people + one backup juror. They supposedly vote for the best singer and performance- AHAHAH great joke, very funny.

But let’s not focus on this, now: let’s focus on numbers.

37 countries participated this year. So 37 x 6 = 222. The jury is made up of 222 people in total.

The entire population of Europe is around 451 million people, but let’s keep it low because Eurovision isn’t watched by all Europeans. Let’s take just the number of views on the Youtube streaming of the Grand Finale: 9.5 million people. Let’s round up to 9 million, okay?

Okay, so now we have 222 people on one side and 9 million people on the other. Let’s pretend that less than half of them voted at least one time.

Okay, now look me straight in the eyes and explain why the votes of 222 people should have the same weight as the votes of 4 million people. Please, explain to me how democratic this decision is, can’t wait to hear it.

But you know what? Even if it was 1 million voters only, that wouldn’t have been fair either. In no universe is fair to put one million voters on the same level as 222 voters.

There’s only one possible scenario in which this is fair: if Eurovision was a talent show specifically centered around performances and voices, with a jury made of vocal teachers and choreographers, and all I have to do is passively watch it on my couch.

But from the moment you gave the public the power to choose who the winner could be, then why do the votes of all the people from Europe (and Australia) have the same weight as what 222 people decided?

This isn’t a democracy. This is an oligarchy masquerading as a democracy: a bunch of people decides what you should like, basing their decision on their own interests. And you have no way to oppose them, unless you focus all your votes on one single artist, hoping it would defeat the one the jury chooses.

But this deprives Eurovision of the competition aspect. It’s not a competition if I have to endure a tug-of-war against the jury. It’s not a competition if I am forced to give all of my votes to one artist only, instead of spreading them out to all my favorites. And even in that case, basically all of Europe should vote for that specific artist to try and overcome the sheer power the jury has. Again: does this sound democratic to you?

Now you may say: but the jury is made of experts. Oh, you mean the same experts that proved multiple times they base their votes on politics, who their neighbor is and who can corrupt them better? Or do you mean the same experts that in the past made their choice even without listening to the songs?

The truth is that we have 222 people who can easily be influenced by anything and their power is as strong as the power of 4 million people at least. Four million people, who got invested and followed the entire show from start to finish, if I may add. Please, tell me about the fairness of this system again.

And before you say “but Eurovision is a music competition and we need experts”... sorry, but no. According to Wikipedia, the jury was present before televoting was born, but once televoting was extended to all competing countries (1997 ca.), the jury was no more. It came back only in 2009, with this unfair compromise of 50/50 between jury ad public votes.

So there was a period of time in which there wasn’t a jury and in that period we had the first win for Estonia, Turkey, Latvia, Greece, Finland, Serbia and Russia. How weird that, once the jury isn’t there, other nations have a chance to win too.

The thing is: Eurovision isn’t a simple music competition. It’s more like a window. A window where anyone can have their chance to shine. No matter if you’re from a well-known country and everyone knows who you are or if you’re from a tiny piece of land in the middle of nowhere and all you can do is speak your native language: if you have the right combination of song+performance+voice, you can win.

And it’s beautiful we have this window, because it allows us to see something we’ve never seen before: rock bands, silly songs, folk songs and straight-up weird songs. In Eurovision, you don’t have to listen to just the same generic bland song, but you are allowed to listen to different artists and different cultures - and if you like them, you are free to choose your winner, no matter how not mainstream it is.

And we Europeans need this. We need to celebrate the diversity of Europe and embrace them. We need to see people from different countries hanging out, having fun and becoming best friends. For a continent that has always had (and still has) a problem with wars, we need something that allows us to look at each other and not see a piece of land to conquer, but a place full of life and culture to learn about.

And since we pride ourselves to be the continent where democracy was born, let’s put this democracy in the show we’re so proud of. Do we really need the jury vote? Do we really need the vote of this bunch of people? Okay, let’s have them. But it’s not acceptable to give them the same weight as the public’s vote. 50/50 isn’t acceptable anymore. 20/80 is fairer. I’m feeling nice, we can even do a 30/70. It’s just not acceptable that 300 people should have power over millions over something those same millions will enjoy. As always, the public is sovereign.

And if the public’s taste is shit, at least we will be free to blame ourselves for something we brought unto ourselves - and not feel sick and angry over something others forced upon us.

Or everything can stay the same and the 50/50 system will keep going. But at least, be honest enough to not waste everyone’s time, by pretending the public can do something more than watch what a bunch of people decide for them. Do not pretend to be righteous and democratic, when you’re not.

______________________________

The triumph of people

This finale drained me. If it were just a little fairer, I would’ve been thrilled to see Luxembourg coming back after years. But right now I don’t feel like watching next year’s show. I know it will probably be amazing, because Sweden is very good at hosting. But I don’t want to see them masturbating over how good they are and how much they deserved to win - even if they didn’t win.

And, honestly, I don’t care about ABBA either. I don’t give a damn about them, nor about their anniversary. I’m definitely not looking forward to that either.

I will listen to the songs as always, then I might give it a try and watch the semifinals. It depends on how bitter my grudge will be, after one full year. If it will still be very bitter, I will probably spend my time better, by listening to the songs more times, watching the performances and making my own personal final chart. I won’t have ABBA or funny interval acts, but I can try my best to make it enjoyable to read. And it won’t be a fucking charade, at least.

Sorry, but I will keep being bitter for some time. And if you feel bitter too, you have every right to be, no matter what people say. Your voice has been silenced and ignored and numbers don’t lie. It’s very understandable you feel bad.

But you know what you can do? Use your anger in a positive way. And no, that doesn’t mean sending death threats to Loreen. You can accuse Sweden of its lack of elegance and decorum if you want, but always be polite. Don’t be like some of them, who are such sore losers they had the guts to be angry at Finland because it didn’t give Sweden any public points. Bo-hoo, may I add.

What you can do instead is make some noise: ask for the jury to be abolished or for this shitty system to change. And, even more important, support your winners. A lot of amazing artists have been wronged this year, so shower them with love.

And send your love especially towards our winner. Stream Cha Cha Cha, check his other songs, shower him with love and support, make a statue for him in Vantaa, pay me a plane ticket because I need to tackle him in a hug and tell him how much the world loves him. Let’s show the world that he slaps, Finnish slaps and we want more of this.

Do you still need more Cha Cha Cha in your life? Good news: Lord of the Lost made a cover for Cha Cha Cha and OH MY GOSH it’s insanely good. It has a lot of Rammstein vibes, it’s cool and it slaps even harder. Check it out because it’s amazing!

Also because the German singer learned some Finnish, just to spell every word correctly and, according to the Finnish people in the comment section, he did a great job. What a wholesome guy, I love and stan him and his band - and you should do the same, because they are amazing and they don’t deserve last place <3

And if you need more Käärijä in your life, there are amazing Youtube channels with great collections of his moments, like Eurovision Is Ambition and Uni Dash Corn. I especially suggest you see his bromance with Bojan - and speaking of him, another shoutout to Bojan! He’s such a nice, wholesome guy with great charisma, you cannot hate him. I am not head over heels for his song, but he’s so fucking wholesome, he deserves good things only.

And I also suggest you see how Käärijä has been welcomed in Helsinki. He has been welcomed like a fucking hero, a national treasure. And of course he was: he is the true winner after all, he deserved the welcome only winners get.

It’s a bit like he said in his apology: the better one won. And so he did.

You know, I think the only good thing that came out from this shitshow that was Eurovision 2023, is the people’s heart. People showed their kindness, their love, the best of humankind. We saw acts of friendship, we saw empathy and appreciation. The hug between Käärijä and Bojan, despite its sad meaning, is also a perfect example of what we all should be: kinder, softer, more empathetic, together, no matter how far and different our countries are.

In a way, I am happy that Ukraine’s message of unity was still carried out, even if indirectly and definitely not the way the UK wanted.

And in the end, the trophy isn’t so important: it’s just a piece of glass after all. And no piece of glass is worth the impact one little man from Vantaa left on so many people all over the world.

I know you will never read this post, but I wish you a lifetime of success, Käärijä. You have everything a winner needs and, in fact, you are one. So don’t be too hard on yourself, because the world still needs to show you how much it loves you. Take your time, relax, have fun and come back when you’re ready - just don’t leave us hanging for too much, ‘kay?

And you, Finnish people: please treat our beloved winner with love for us too. We will do our best from afar, so let’s be together on this as we should <3

[montammil]

whumper dialogue

1. “Come on. Don’t make me do this again.” 

2. “Oh, darling, don’t scream. You’ll ruin your pretty voice!”

3. “Go ahead, tell them. No one will believe you. They all think you’re crazy, so it’s your word over mine.”

4. “This is for your own good, Whumpee. I’m just trying to help, after all!”

5. “I’ve waited so long... You have no idea how much I wanted this.”

6. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it.” 

7. “Don’t worry. I’m almost done.”

8. “You’re not going anywhere until you learn some damn respect. Get over here. Now.”

9. “This is your last warning. Next time, you’re dead.”

10. “What did you say? No, no, repeat that for me, dear, I didn’t hear you. Tell me what you said.”

11. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll help you forget. Then we can start over again.”

12. “Oh, Whumpee, I’m not leaving this world alone. You’re coming with me.”

13. “I’m not done yet.” 

14. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

15. “Just relax. It’ll be over before you know it. And like I said, you probably won't feel it anyway.”

16. “Oh, don’t cry, pet, you’ll make yourself sick! I don’t have to calm you down myself, do I?”

17. “You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”

18. “Now, sleep. Sleep and forget.”

19. “I told you I’d come back.”

20. “I’ve got a little surprise for you, pet.”

21. “You’ll have to stay down here. It’s for your own good.”

22. “You’re still my favorite.”

23. “I didn’t think you’d be such a challenge. That’s okay, just makes things more fun for me.”

24. “You’ve done such a great job today. Good pet.”

25. “I bet you loved that.”

26. “You think you’re so special.”

27. “You’re not afraid, are you?”

28. “You should have just stayed silent.”

29. “Go ahead, scream. It’s just music to my ears.”

30. “Honestly, you should be grateful you’re still alive, darling. If anyone else said that to me, I’d snap their neck in an instant.”

31. “What are you going to do? Kill me. Go ahead. I’ll even give you my knife! I know you won’t, though.”

32. “Interesting, isn’t it? That you don’t remember anything? Well, let me fix that for you.”

33. “You and me. Forever.”

34. “Please, Whumpee, don’t look at me like that. You’re almost making me feel bad for you. Almost.”

35. “Oh, you poor thing.”

36. “You should have ran when you had the chance.”

37. “Think of how much better life will be for you now. A free roof over your head, free food, free clothes? You should be a little more thankful, honestly.”

38. “You won’t be needing this anymore.”

39. “You remind me of someone...”

40. “Maybe you need to be taught some manners.”

41. “If I weren’t so in love with you, I’d kill you.”

42. “You’ve had your fun, now it’s my turn.”

43. “Have a nice sleep, dear.”

44. “Don’t ever try that again.”

45. “I’m not going to waste any more of my time on you.”

46. “I still remember the first time I saw you.”

47. “You’ll never leave my side again.”

48. “I like those little noises you make when you’re scared.”

49. “Oh, you didn’t argue this time! That’s progress.”

50. “You know, even when you look like you’re dead, you’re still beautiful.”

51. “Why did you run? You know how much I love you. You know how much I need you.”

52. “Okay, now you’re just asking for it.”

53. “Now? Now you just sit here and bleed out.”

54. “I know you won’t remember this, but I thought I’d tell you, anyway.”

55. “I can’t hear you, Whumpee~ Mind repeating that for me?”

56. “I’ll give you to the count of three.”

57. “Just think, maybe this will all be over soon!”

58. “You’ve ruined everything.”

59. “You’re making me do this.”

60. “Oh, darling, please be still. This won’t take long.”

61. “The only reason you’re still alive is because of me. Remember that.”

62. “You can’t scream. Not here.”

63. “Do yourself a favor and give up. You can’t escape.”

64. “I told you to shut your mouth.”

65. “You should have seen this coming.”

66. “Be quiet. You don’t want to wake the others, do you?”

67. “The fun has just begun!”

68. “Just because you aren’t beautiful anymore, doesn’t mean you can’t be useful.”

69. “Now, clean yourself up. I’m not doing it for you.”

70. “Look how pretty you are... Red’s really your color.”

71. “Now that you found your anger... it’s time to play.”

72. “You should have thought about that before you started screaming.”

73. “I didn’t break you, did I?”

74. “Either you apologize this instant, or you’ll be seeing nothing but the basement walls for the next week.”

75. “I’m disappointed in you, Whumpee.”

76. “Shh, don’t struggle. It’ll be easier this way.”

77. “You want to sleep? Beg for it, then.”

78. “I never tire looking at you, darling.”

79. “Now, why’d you go and do that? Look at you, now you’re hurt! And not by me this time...”

80. “I suppose I could always just toss you aside like yesterday’s trash.”

81. “Don’t be scared, Whumpee! You’re back with me now, why would you be scared?”

82. “Oh, my dear. Don’t tell me you think you’re the first person I’ve done this to.”

83. “Careful now, don’t tense up. It’ll just hurt more.”

84. “You’re not the first, and you definitely won’t be the last.”

85. “Let’s say you did escape. What would you even tell them?”

86. “I want to kill you slowly, but even that might be too kind for you.”

87. “Next time, I won’t knock you out first.”

88. “No one will ever know.”

89. “I can tell you’re not really asleep. Your breathing is different.”

90. “Don’t be sad, little one. I’m putting you out of your misery just like you wanted! You should be smiling!”

91. “Now you’ve really gone too far.”

92. “Do you see how completely useless you are now?”

93. “Sit up straight.”

94. “You have a visitor, Whumpee!”

95. “You better hope you’re worth it.”

96. “I’m going to take you apart slowly, and then... I’ll put you back together again.”

97. “Let’s see... where to start, where to start...”

98. “My friends will take great care of you.”

99. “I heard that you like pain. I won’t disappoint you.”

100. “I’m going to let you in on a little secret, darling...”

[i-willstealyourtoes]

HIIII!! I wanted to request something for Ninjago since I saw you're requests were open!!

So basically PLATONIC hcs where the ninja have a younger sibling who is the reader(gn!) and the reader has tiny anger issues and during a mission their anger gets out if control and they accidentally hurt someone. So its up to the ninja to calm down their younger sibling so they don't do more harm. They can be related or just a big sibling figure for the reader!

OKAY THATS KINDA IT I TRIED MAKING IT AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE REMEMBER TO GET SOME REST AND YOU ARE LOVED❤️❤️❤️🦙

This is my first Ninjago request pls wish me luck fr-

Idk if you wanted Nya too but I didn't include her bc I feel like I've already taken too long on this 😔

Ninjas with a sibling with anger issues

Kai

- Totally gets the whole anger thing

- I mean, have you seen this man

- Especially if it's early on in the show he definitely relates to just giving into the feeling

- So he'd probably keep a hand on your shoulder and hold you back

- "Hey, kid? Maybe, just, take a breather, okay?"

- If you push past him and hurt someone, he'd definitely be more stern about it and pull you back before you do anything else

- "Hey! That's not how we do things (Y/n)!"

- He usually calls you by any sort of teasing nickname, but he needs to be serious about this if you're harming someone who doesn't deserve it

- He knows you don't mean it, but it doesn't change the fact that you still did it

- As your all going home, he'd probably give you a talk

- "Listen, I- I get it okay? I totally do."

- After talking to you, he'd probably be the one to hold your wrist (gently) and keep you from doing anything rash

Zane

- Takes notes on what triggers your anger and makes sure to try avoid it or hold you back

- Also takes notes on what calming techniques work and what doesn't

- The first time it happens and you hurt someone he'd try verbally communicate with you

- "(Y/n), this isn't right. Why don't you step back and talk to me?"

- Outside of battles, he's probably trying to help you overcome your anger

- If you're willing, he'd be more than happy to just take some time trying to figure out ways for you to work through your anger issues

- He's very happy to see any progress!! Even just a little bit :)

- "It took approximately 4 seconds longer than usual for you to get mad. That's progress..! :]"

Cole

- Definitely gets shocked the first time you get mad

- "WOAH, HEY! (Y/N), STOP-!"

- He'd hold you by the shoulder gently and try calm you down

- As you're going home, he'd try get you to explain what got you mad

- "Listen, if we understand what made you mad, maybe next time we could try avoid it?"

- He kind of understands where you're coming from too?

- I mean he gets mad too so

- Would join Zane in trying to train you to handle it better

- Next time, he's definitely keeping an eye on you during battle to see if you've made any progress + to make sure you don't hurt someone again

- "Hey, nice work kid, you didn't get mad this time!"

Lloyd

- I mean he was quite an angry kid when he was young, so he understands the frustration

- If you're the same age he was in the first season he can totally empathise

- "Hey, hey, it's okay (Y/n), I get it.. I mean, when I was a kid I was just like you...!"

- Obviously it wasn't okay for you to hurt someone but in the heat of the moment it can change your thought process

- And he understands that fully

- If you ever feel overly guilty he's always there to give you a pat on the shoulder and tell you it's okay

- He will absolutely give high-fives if you make any progress at all

- "Hey! That's great kid, you're doing better than I did when I was your age."

- (Why is he speaking like he's 70 💀)

Jay

- Probably gets really worried when you hurt someone and kind of doesn't know how to react initially?

- He'd probably let the others be the first responders, and then he'd help after

- If you were feeling panicked or guilty after the mission, you don't now :)

- He'd just bring out a video game to play or do something with you and try to support you

- "Hey, so... I just wanted to let you know that it's not your fault; I mean, we all get like that sometimes, you know?"

- If anything bad happens while on mission, he's there to reassure you

- "Hey, don't worry, you'll get it next time (Y/n)..!"

- He's confident that you can handle it next time :)

[smallraindrops-blog]

(Small blurp time!)

Thinking about the Vamp! Y/N au and how Achilles and Patroclus must have felt after a few years passed, and their son still wasn't there.

In the beginning, the first 10 or so years passed, and they're relived. Their son has probably settled down somewhere by now and is resting. Hopefully away from war or with Chiron.

Then 20 years, and he's still not here. It hurts, but they're so glad he's still alive. Maybe he's taken a lover, maybe has his own family to care for. (Hecate had only just taken him in. He's scared, he's hungry, and she is all he has now... He's misses his dad's more than ever.)

30 years, 40 years, surely their son is in his old age now, maybe he gets to pass from it, no illness or war has taken him yet. He'll be here at any time, and they will greet him with open arms, and he'll tell them about his wonderful, long-lived life, surely. (At this point, he prays his father, and Pa will never see him like this. With the eyes of a monster and fangs of a beast and a bloodlust that's goes far deeper than any hunger he's ever felt before.)

50 years. Their son should be in his 70s by now. Gods, what will he look like? Last, they remember he was barely an adult, still their little boy in their eyes. (Achilles regrets so much. You were so young when they were called for war.) Maybe you didn't get to be in Elysium? No, no, Achilles made absolutely sure you would be there with your pa. You can't be anywhere else. Hopefully, you're simply being well taken care of, loved, and well fed. (The livestock helped, and Hecate had found a way to store blood for you to drink when you couldn't hunt. It was bland and didn't fully satisfy that dark instinct in you, but it was manageable. Hecate had promised to train with you so you could burn off that need to run, to chase, to lock down on something breathing as you pierced through their skin.

Hecate helped you calm down after the spiral sent you into a panic. Neither of you brought it up again.)

80 years. 80 years, and their son is still alive (they think he should be. He's not in the underworld as fair they know, no records ever mentioned him passing) they're relief and jot has slowly whistled away to worry and longing, where is he? He should be here, with them at any moment. He'll come home to them at any moment...

100 years... Something is wrong. It's been too long he should be here by now, Hades nor Thanatos have answers, not even Lady Nyx and her other children who bring souls to Charon have answers. He's still not here.

XXX Years pass. Prince Zagreus meets someone at his mother cottage. He almost looks exactly as Achilles and Patroclus described. Except for 3 things.

His eyes, his teeth, and the fact that this man should be well over the age of 100, yet looks no older than his 20s.

What happened to him?

(Aaah, I hope you enjoy this thing. Super excited for the Father's Day fic!)

Ahhhhhh! thank you for the food!! 🙏 This is amazing. I love it so much. <3<3 I literally read this over and over before replying. Anon you did great. I love it. Gonna put my rambling thoughts under the readmore.

Gonna use Vamp!Y/N as a tag for these.

Also thank you and everyone’s else patience for the late Father’s Day fic. Real life decided to get in the way.

I definitely think Achilles and Pat were both glad that their son didn’t follow them into death. And they are just hopeful he had a good life, one filled with love. Hell, they might even have grandchildren for all they knew.

achilles would joke that he was going to get his son an ‘old man’ as payback since Y/N would occasionally call his father ‘old man’

it devastated them when they learn the truth.

Because like they thought maybe Y/N’s life wouldn’t defined by the war, that he was happy.

Also Hecate and Y/N’s relationship would be interesting because they both stuggle with emotions, not willing to let people get close. And I like to think they would actually be friends but they never talked about it.

It got to the point where they can communicate with a single glance and they both appreciate that the other didn’t push the boundaries.

and when Hecate had a moment of weakness, Y/N just helped her through it without making a big deal about it. Anyone else would had tried to use against Hecate or try to make her talk about it but Y/N never did.

i like to think Y/N and Persephone were kinda friends as well. Maybe she would occasionally ask him to move something for her or invite him for tea. Y/n didn’t take her up on the tea at first but she wore him down eventually.

he was fond of her fresh chamomile tea.

Just imagine being Zagreus lol. He literally just escaped the underworld to like check on his mom’s cottage, maybe sweep the floor or something and there was some freaky guy standing there.

and Hypnos did the greeting for Y/N, happily adding your name to list only to trail off when he looked up and saw Y/N’s eyes, and very much felt like prey. ( he didn’t how to feel about that. He kinda liked it)

Y/N is an excellent house guard bc most people were too freaked out to go near him therefore the area he watching over remain empty.

And yeah, good job. I really enjoyed this.

[enthusiasticharry]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 10k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: fourth chapter! i'm so sorry that this has taken so long, work really has been kicking my arse but I've finally managed to get this out for you and I really hope you enjoy it! this is probably the chapter you've all been waiting for (me too don't worry) and i would really love to hear all of your thoughts about it so please come and chat to me about it!!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, talk of rehab and drug overdose, sexual content, a fucking amazing green camper and harry being a 70s rockstar pt.4 but also the guy of all our dreams.

𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟑 here

Minnesota, Winter 1973

“Morning Fiona,” YN smiled at another woman in the facility as YN passed her, making her way towards the conservatory.

The conservatory was YN’s favourite room in the entire facility. It was light, with windows on each of the walls as well as one of the most comfortable sofas that YN had ever sat on. It was decorated with pillows and flowers, and sort of had an old person feel about it, but YN didn’t mind. In fact, it had a very comforting feel about it. It was calm, and relaxing and it was a place where YN could come and do whatever she wanted to do.

In the first few weeks that she was at the facility, YN would spend every minute that she wasn’t sleeping, eating or in therapy in that room. Whilst she was going through the heaviest part of her withdrawals, where she was getting used to everything being real again it was the only place that she could truly feel like herself. At that point, she would just sit there and think. She would think about everything that she had done, and everything that had been done and reflect.

The drugs were bad, and the abuse of them was even worse but the thing that upset YN the most, and she had to work through the most was everything that she’d done to Vivienne and Harry. All that the two of them had done was to help her – they truly did care about her, and she had repaid them by fucking things up to the highest degree.

That room was one of the places where YN had truly started to feel like herself again, and she was thankful for it.

“YN!” One of the workers, Mary, called from the next room.

“Yes, Mary?” YN called back, standing up from the sofa that she was sitting on.

“There’s a call for you.”

YN didn’t hesitate to pick up her pace and make her way to the phone. She placed the receiver up to her ear and leaned against the wall.

“Hello?”

“Hi babe!” It was Vivienne, and YN almost squealed there and then.

“Viv!” YN laughed, “How are you?”

“I’m good babe, I’m good,” She laughed, “How are you? How is it there?”

“It’s good, Viv, it’s good,” YN laughs, “I’m doing good, I’m doing better.”

YN had been at the facility now for just over a month. It was the first time that she had spent Christmas not at home. Before leaving home, Christmas was a day that she spent with her family and would count down the hours until bedtime, but when she moved in with Vivienne – Christmas was the day that they ate shitty food and just spent together. It was difficult, but all YN had to remember was that she was doing this so she could have much happier Christmases in the future without any influences.

Now that she had done a month, it was time to start discussing when YN was coming home.

“I’m glad, babe,” YN could hear Vivienne’s smile through the receiver, “Anyway, I was just phoning about coming to pick you up.”

“Viv, I’m so excited to see you,” YN sighs leaning her head against the wall, smiling like crazy.

YN knew that her being in rehab was something that she had to do, and she was doing it because she needed to get better. But one of the things that she was really struggling with was being away from Vivienne. It was worse than tour because this time she didn’t have the booze and the drugs to forget – instead she had to think about it.

One of the things that YN didn’t realise was how much she would think of Harry. Being sober and thinking back on what Harry had done for her, she started to realise how much he did actually care about her. Apart from that one kiss, YN honestly thought that he was a shot in the dark but then again, maybe it was the drugs talking. Now, all she could think about was the next time that she saw him and what she would say.

She just didn’t think that it would be so soon.

“There’s a slight problem with that,” Vivienne sighed, “YN, I’m really sorry but I can’t pick you up.”

“Oh,” YN couldn’t help but feel a slight disappointment about it, “Why? Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, babe, I promise,” YN lets out a sigh of relief, “It’s just, I’m leaving town for a few days to do a photo shoot for a band at a festival in Hawaii. I tried to cancel it, YN, but this could be my big break.”

“Don’t worry, Viv, really don’t,” YN shrugs, “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you, YN, really,” YN can hear Vivienne’s smile again and YN felt relaxed again. All she had to do now was figure out what she was going to do, “Anyway, we’ve made a plan.”

“What?” YN furrows his eyebrows, “Who are we? And what’s the plan?”

“Harry and I,” YN’s eyes widen, “We’ve sorted it all out. Harry’s going to come and pick you up in two days and bring you home, babe.”

“He said yes to that?” YN can’t help but be a little shocked by the entire thing.

Vivienne laughs, “It was his idea, babe.”

“Really?” YN’s butterflies erupt with some of the biggest butterflies she’s had in a while, “Okay, thank you… and thank Harry for me, yeah?”

“You can thank him yourself, babe,” Vivienne laughs, “You’re going to be spending a lot of time with him soon.”

“Yeah,” YN chuckles, “You’re right, I should.”

“Have fun, yeah?” Vivienne laughs, “But not too much fun, don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.”

YN laughed, “What wouldn’t you do?”

“Touché,” Vivienne laughs, “But be careful, yeah? Don’t rush into anything.”

“I will,” Even though it was bittersweet that YN wouldn’t be seeing Vivienne in a few days, she knew that this job was good for Vivienne, and she wasn’t going to get in the way of her friend. Anyway, it was only a few days, and she would see Vivienne, and everything would be back to normal, “Hey, Viv.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” Vivienne laughs, “And I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“I love you too, babe. You’ll be back home before you know it.”

These next two days were going to be torture.  

YN had been dressed and ready for the past hour now. Her bag had been dropped off at the front reception, and she had brought herself to her favourite room and was sitting, waiting for Harry. Patience had never been YN’s strong suit, but sitting in that room listening to whatever vinyl was spinning just let the time pass a little easier.

When she had been getting dressed, there was a part of her that was excited to get dressed up. It felt amazing to dress up in her flared jeans, a floral top with flared sleeves and of course, her cowboy boots. YN was starting to truly feel like herself again.

Even though YN was excited to be coming home, it was also one of the more nerve-wracking things that YN had ever had to do. Life in rehab was hard, but it was also so much easier in a way. In rehab there wasn’t any temptation, there weren’t drugs or alcohol readily available at all times. Now, everything that YN had worked to get clean from would be there and all she had to do was remind herself that it wasn’t her anymore.

The drugs aren’t what made YN who she was, and she had spent the life that she loved so much getting too coked up to really enjoy it. It was her time to experience her life for herself, by herself with nothing getting in the way.

However, YN had a slight suspicion that it wasn’t going to be easy but nothing in life ever is, right?

“YN!” YN had been waiting for around an hour in the room, waiting for the moment that Mary called her, “It’s time to go.”

There was a spring in YN’s step as she stood up, almost skipping towards the front door. YN picked up her bag, gave Mary and Julian a hug goodbye and practically did skip out of the door. Her rush, however, was stopped when she looked up and saw Harry leaning up against a camper. It was amazing. It had a cream and green exterior and an orange curtain that she could see through the window. She was in love, and it was with a camper of all things, but it was the man who stood leaning against it that caused her to smile the most.

“What is this?” YN laughed, walking towards him until she stood straight in front of him.

“This,” He laughed, pulling his sunglasses off and hanging them from the collar of his shirt, “Is our camper.”

“Ours?” YN laughed, dropping her bag on the floor by them, “Why have we got a camper, Harry?”

Harry smiled, “This is how we’re getting home. We’re going to have a road trip.”

“Really?” YN’s face beams a smile, “I love it.”

“I thought you would,” He laughs, opening his arms and YN doesn’t even hesitate to walk over and throw her arms around his neck.

Not only was YN in love with the camper, but she couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach at the fact that Harry had thought to do this for her. He squeezed her just as tightly as she squeezed him.

“Thank you,” She smiled into his shoulder.

Harry laughed and pulled away from her, “Shall we go and get some breakfast?”

“Yes!” YN grinned, picking up her bag and opening the side door to put it inside, “Can I drive?”

Harry laughed, “Like hell, you can.”

“What?” YN exclaimed, laughing as he looked at her with his eyebrows raised, “I’m not that bad.”

“Yes, yes you are,” He laughed, opening the passenger door so she could get in, “Vivienne’s told me all the stories.”

“Okay,” YN sits down and smiles as he closes the door, “Can I pick the music, though?”

“Of course.”

As they pulled away from the facility, YN turned and looked back at the building, and she couldn’t help but feel a little scared to be away from the safety of that place. That all changed though when YN felt Harry’s hand move over to grab hers. YN turned back to him, and after just one smile from him, she knew she was going to be okay because she had people like Harry and Vivienne who were there for her.

They pulled up outside a small diner on the outskirts of town and YN was happy to just go somewhere that sold proper greasy food. YN was just so excited for a proper stack of pancakes and a milkshake. As they parked the camper and got out, YN couldn’t even contain her excitement. She felt like she was a kid in a candy shop, and she rushed ahead in front of Harry and opened the door for him.

They sat down, accepted the coffee from the waitress and both didn’t hesitate to order. Harry laughed when YN ordered her pancakes and her milkshake. Harry got the same, but instead of a strawberry milkshake, he went for a vanilla one.

“How are you?” YN asked, taking a sip of her coffee, “How was the rest of the tour?”

Harry laughed, leaning back on his seat in the booth, “I’m good. The tour was… it was… shit without you.”

“Harry,” YN shakes her head, “You don’t have to say that. I knew it was difficult with me there.”

“In all honesty… I missed you,” Harry sighed, “It wasn’t the same without you there, but I was just happy that you were getting the help that you needed.”

YN bit her lip to stop her from smiling, “I missed you too.”

The waitress came with their milkshakes, as well as their pancakes and YN almost cried with happiness. Harry laughed as he watched her pour syrup all over her pancakes. He happily accepted the syrup from her, but hesitated as he watched her cut her pancakes up at eat them. When she noticed him watching, she finished eating and wiped her mouth with a napkin and smiled at him.

“What?” YN laughs, “Have I got something on my face?”

“No,” Harry shakes his head, “I’m just… happy.”

“Me too,” YN smiled, watching as he took a bite of his own pancakes, “Now hurry up, I can’t wait to get back in our camper.”

“I know you can’t,” Harry laughed.

The two of them continued eating their pancakes and sipping their milkshakes. YN tried Harry’s milkshake and decided she liked that better, and Harry didn’t even hesitate to swap with her. It was small action for Harry, that made her entire heart light up. It was almost as though these were things that Harry had done for her, and she hadn’t even noticed because she was too coked up to notice.

“You ready?” Harry asked her after he had paid.

“Yeah,” YN laughed, sliding herself out of the booth and linking her arm with Harry’s as they walked back to the camper, “Where did you even find this thing?”

“Someone put an ad for it in the newspaper, and the second I saw it I knew what to do,” He laughed, opening the door for the second time today for her.

YN smiled, “Thank you.”

“C’mon,” He laughed, motioning for her to get in the camper, “We need to get on the road.”

“Okay,” YN hopped in the car, enjoying the feeling of Harry’s hand on the small of her back to help her.

When they were all settled on the highway, YN looked over at Harry and caught him staring right at her. The windows were down, YN’s hair was blowing in the wind but she didn’t care, her feet were on the dash and her arm was out of the car, her sleeve blowing with the wind. YN doesn’t think that she’d ever been as happy as she was right now, and Harry couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Apart from when he had to focus on the road because that was obviously very important. ‘Son of a Preacher Man,’ was playing over the stereo, per YN’s request obviously because it was a song, and they were both singing along like their lives depended on it.

“The only one who could reach me/ Was the son of a preacher man/ The only boy who could ever teach me/ Was the son of a preacher man/ Yes, he was, he was, oh, yes, he was.”

The smile that was on YN’s face was one for the record books. All of the drugs, the life that she had left was all behind her. Now, it was time to focus on her music. It was time for her to be on tour, but on her own tour – not the opening act for one. Even though she was clean, and she thought it would be easier to write and yet she hadn’t written a single word of a song. It was difficult for her to grasp, but she just knew that she needed to wait and then the inspiration would come, and then her life would be back on track again.

They drove for fifteen hours on the first day. They had planned to do twelve and then stop somewhere for a break, but they were still okay, so they carried on. They had a few stops at gas stations for a lot of snack refills and drinks and kept each other going with little games and singing all of their favourite songs. It was at hour fifteen that found a nice little campsite in Wyoming and decided that would be where they stayed for the night. For it is the start of the year, and in the middle of winter, the campsite was empty, and they perfectly understood why.

YN wrapped a shawl around herself and a blanket and leaned against the edge of the camper whilst Harry hooked all of the necessary things up. YN made some green tea, which had become one of her favourites during her time at rehab. She made Harry a cup, and even though his face said that he didn’t like it, he still pretended that he did. That was when YN laughed, poured it out and made him a coffee.

Harry went to shower, and YN had decided that she would make it cosier and also warmer because the temperature had dropped. YN had lit two candles and placed them by the sink, and that was the only thing that illuminated the entire camper. She had pulled the bed out, which already had bedding on it thanks to Harry and made that more comfortable as well by adding about a thousand blankets on the top. Once she was happy with the bed, she pulled her hair up into a bun and started to change into one of her white tank tops and a pair of shorts to sleep in.

She moved herself to the corner of the van and started to remove her jeans. Just as she pulled them down, the door to the van opened. Even though Harry was there, YN didn’t stop. She knew that she was teasing him, but he didn’t close the door or leave. It started to make her think that maybe he did want this, and he did want her.

“Sorry,” He said, just as she was starting to pull her shorts on, “I’ll, just, uh, I’ll sleep up front.”

“Wait,” YN took a step towards him, “You don’t have to.”

“I, uh,” He scratched the back of his head, “I think it’s probably best that I do.”

“Okay,” YN nodded, and without even thinking she picked up a pillow and a blanket and gave it to him, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah,” He accepted the pillows and the blankets from her with a nod, “See you in the morning, YN, sweet dreams.”

Once he had moved to the front of the camper, YN blew out and the candles and got into the bed. YN did think that tonight was going to end differently, and she was more upset about it than she would like to admit. YN just lay in silence, staring at the ceiling, and letting the tears fall down her face. YN didn’t know whether Harry could hear. She didn’t want him to, but then again maybe she did.

Maybe it was better that he didn’t stay with her because maybe he didn’t feel the same and it would save her the heartbreak.

When YN woke up the next morning, she was shocked to see Harry already awake sitting outside and making drinks. She didn’t know whether to go outside to him, but once she had fully woken up, she noticed that he was making his way inside with two cups of coffee.

“Morning,” He smiled at her, passing her one of the cups, “How did you sleep?”

“Good, thank you,” YN gave a small smile back, lifting the coffee to her lips and taking a sip, “How did you sleep?”

“Good as well, thank you,” It felt awkward, and YN didn’t like it. They had such a good day yesterday, and YN almost felt like it had been her fault that they were now like this, “I thought we could set off in ten minutes or so.”

“Okay,” YN nods, “I just need to get dressed.”

Harry motioned to the door, “I’ll pack up outside.”

YN dressed in a knitted dress with a plunging neckline that was nice but also warm, and of course she paired it with her cowboy boots. She packed up the camper to the best of her ability, and just as she finished Harry was making his way to the driver’s seat. She climbed in the passenger side and then they set off, in complete silence.

They had been in silence for at least two hours, just the radio playing between them. Harry was focusing on driving, and YN was looking out of the window at her side. YN wanted to say something to him, but she just didn’t know what to do. She hated the awkward energy and the silence. She had spent time in rehab being so excited about seeing him again, and then they had such a great day yesterday. She wasn’t going to let last night ruin this for her.

“I’m sorry for last night,” YN turned to Harry, biting her lip nervously as she did.

Harry gave a fleeting glance to YN before turning back to look at the road. He had one hand resting on the steering wheel, and the other was on the door.

“Why?” Harry still stared ahead as he spoke.

“I get that I should’ve stopped changing when you opened the door, and I didn’t, and now I’m sorry for that.”

Harry looked over at her again, but only for another second before his eyes were on the road.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that. I should be the one saying sorry to you, I should’ve left. I shouldn’t have watched.”

YN dropped her eyes to her lap, messing with some of the material of the dress, “I, uh, I wanted you to.”

Harry’s eyebrows raised as he turned to look at her, and at that point, she was actually looking at him.

“You, uh, did?” He cleared his voice as he spoke.

“I did,” YN looked back down at her lap, “Did you want to?”

Harry was quiet for a minute, and she could almost hear the thoughts whirring around his head. At this point, YN didn’t want him to lie, or make something up to protect her feelings – she just wanted to the truth, that’s all.

“I did want to look, YN,” YN looks at him, but he just keeps staring forward, “That’s why I did look. But you’ve just come out of rehab, YN, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you. I just… God, YN, if you knew what watching that did to me, and what you have always done to me. I just… want to make sure that it’s a good idea and that you’re not rushing anything before…”

He swallowed, as though he was getting rid of the lump in his throat.

“Before I’m back to normal,” YN sighed, “I know you probably don’t want to be with someone who is a recovering addict.”

“Hey, hey, hey, no,” Harry reaches over and grabs her hand, “I never said that, I don’t think that. I just want to make sure that you’re okay, and that I’m not rushing you into anything.”

YN laughed, shaking her head, and placing her other hand on top of Harry’s. Again, it was her not truly thinking straight, and seeing that all he cared about was her and that was why he didn’t stay with her last night.

“You’re not rushing me into anything,” YN shook her head, “I’ve wanted to spend time with you like this since the first day we met probably, but life just had other plans.”

“We’re here now, though, right?”

“We are.”

They had planned on driving as close to Nevada as they could, but they were both exhausted after ten hours and decided to just set up camp for the night in Utah. They had eaten at a diner where YN had inhaled a burger whilst Harry laughed at her when she had mayo all over her face.

When they made it back to the camper, YN did everything that she did last night. YN lit the candles, set the bed up and even turned the stereo on so there was light music in the camper. Whilst she did all of this, Harry was lying on the bed watching her, floating around the camper, and doing everything that made her happy and that made him happy.

YN made herself tea and offered Harry a coffee, but he said that he’d just have tea like her. She knew that he wouldn’t like it, but he was still trying to pretend that he did for her, so she made him one. She passed him the cup, and she couldn’t help but laugh at his face again.

“I’m sorry,” Harry made a gagging face and placed the cup down on the side, “But how the hell do you drink this stuff?”

“It’s good for you, and it really doesn’t taste that bad,” She laughed, taking a sip of her own tea and Harry even made a face at that.

“Give it here,” She leant forward and grabbed his mug, “I’ll put it in the sink.”

As YN turned around and placed the mug in the sink, using the tap to rinse it out. YN turned around, and that was when she noticed that she was now trapped between Harry’s arms. She laughed and placed her hands on his biceps.

“What are you doing?” She laughed.

YN couldn’t say anything else because then his lips were on hers.

YN pulled back, her eyes fluttering over his face to check for any sort of regret but when she saw none, she leaned back into him, wrapping her arms around his neck whilst his wrapped around her waist. It felt so good to be with him again, to be kissing him again. YN could feel Harry’s hands moving downward until they were under her, so she could jump and wrap her legs around his waist. There wasn’t much room in the camper anyway, and YN had no idea how they could get closer to each other but here they are.

“Harry,” YN mumbled against his lips, “Take me to the bed.”

He pulled away, resting his forehead on hers, “Are you sure?”

“Please,” YN nodded, catching his lips in another kiss, “Please, Harry, I want you.”

Harry stumbled them over to the bed, dropping her down lightly and climbing on. YN pushed herself up towards the top of the bed as Harry hovered over her. They didn’t stop kissing each other, and when Harry moved to kiss down her neck, YN couldn’t help her body writhing underneath him.

Harry slowly began to roll his hips towards her, as he continued moving down her neck and all over her collarbone. He kissed the dips of her collarbone and then moved across her chest slowly, her hands reaching up to his hair. YN ran her hands down his back and grabbed the end of his shirt. He removed his lips from her and helped her pull his shirt up and off. Then it was her turn, with him grabbing the end of the slip she was wearing and pulling it over her head. He didn’t even think about it, he just did it and then he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

He also didn’t really think when he slipped his hands under her and pulled her on his lap. She straddled him, and he leaned forward and kissed her neck again, tilting her head to give him more access as she ran her hands through his hair. Her hips were grinding down on him, and she could feel him through the thin material of his sweatpants, seeing as though she was only in the thin material of her panties.

He pushed his thumb into the material of her panties and pulled them down, allowing her to drop back on the bed again. He didn’t even hesitate to lean down between her legs, allowing them to rest on his shoulders. He kissed down in a straight line before veering off to one thigh, kissing the inside of it slowly. He kissed all the way to her centre and kissed there too.

YN’s back arched off the bed, and Harry truly didn’t hesitate to dive right in. He teased her slightly, which had her withering under him. He ran his tongue up and down her slit before circling around her clit. YN didn’t know what was in the air of this camper, but she had never felt like this when having sex before in her life.

Her heavy breathing was all that could be heard in the camper, along with the slight squeak of the bed as she moved up and down.

“Harry,” YN breathed out his name her thighs automatically clamping around his head, “Please, don’t stop.”

YN continued to writhe, as he circled around her clit and interested two fingers into her. That was when the deep breaths turned into little wines, and then when she hit that point, she screamed his name in a whine. She knew that she had probably clamped around his head a little too tight, and also grabbed onto his hair a little too tight. It wasn’t her fault; she just hadn’t ever had sex sober before and it was completely different.

“Jesus Christ,” Once she could feel her legs again, she sat up, moving herself towards him, “Has it always felt like that?”

Harry laughed and accepted a kiss from her. That was when she climbed to straddle him again, helping him out of his joggers. He continued to kiss her as she moved her hand up and down him, straddling him and lining her entrance up with him.

Harry kissed her neck, and down her chest until he took her nipple in his mouth just as she slid down, feeling full by him. YN dropped her head back, crying out as she sat there and got adjusted to his size before she started to move. It felt like this was the missing piece to the puzzle, and the second she started rotating her hips she couldn’t help but groan.

“Fuck, YN,” Harry lifts his head up and leans it on her shoulder, “You, okay?”

“Better than okay,” YN closes her eyes as he grabs her hips, helping them both find a rhythm together, “Harry, I’m –”

YN started to move faster, bringing herself closer to the edge. Harry placed his hands on her ass to help move her faster and closer to the edge.

“YN, look at me,” YN opened her eyes and looked straight at Harry, resting her forehead on his and both of their hips moved together in rhythm, “I want to see you come for me, come on me.”

YN nods, catching his lips with hers. She pulled away, groaning against his lips as her head tipped back once more. It didn’t take long at the pace that they were going for her to come, his name leaving her lips in a whine. The pure sight of it brought Harry closer to his own climax, the two of them riding it out together.

YN’s head fell down onto Harry’s shoulder as she caught her breath. Neither of them was in a rush to move. They just wanted to stay as close as they possibly could. Harry wrapped his arm around her back, placing a kiss on her forehead that was covered in sweat, but he didn’t care. They sat there for a minute before she slipped off him and moved to grab her slip from the floor, Harry sitting behind her and placing a kiss between her shoulder blades.

YN laughed and dropped her head back on his shoulder, “I can’t believe we waited this long to do that.”

“Me neither,” He laughed, placing a kiss on her cheek, “But at least now we don’t have to wait again.”

“We do, Mr,” YN laughs, standing up and pulling her slip all the way down, “My legs have just stopped shaking.”

Harry laughed, wrapping his arms around the girl’s legs as she placed her hands on his shoulder, “Don’t ever tell Vivienne I said this, but I’m glad that it’s just the two of us.”

YN laughed, “I promise I won’t if you promise not to tell her that I agree.”

When Harry and YN woke up the next day, they tangled up in each other under YN’s seven blankets with the sun slipping through the curtain of the camper’s windows. YN woke up first, her head resting on Harry’s chest. He still had his eyes closed, and the curl of his hair rested on his forehead. YN smiled, and without even thinking pushed the curl out of his face.

He jumped slightly at the feeling of her fingers on his face, his features scrunching up before his eyes finally opened.

“Morning,” YN smiled, pressing a kiss to Harry’s pouting lips.

Harry sighed and pulled her closer pressing another kiss to her forehead, “Morning.”

YN let Harry stir for a little, easing him into the morning with a cup of coffee. YN went and showered and left Harry to get ready. She was dressed in a pair of white flared pants and one of Harry’s shirts that she had picked up last night. It wasn’t that she just wanted to wear Harry’s clothes, it was actually a life-or-death situation with how cold it was. She couldn’t wait to get back to Los Angeles where even in winter it was still semi-hot.

Once they were both dressed, they grabbed breakfast at a diner and then were back on the road for their last ten hours of the journey. Harry was still driving, and YN still had her feet on the dash whilst singing along to Linda Ronstadt whilst studying a map with her finger. Harry just couldn’t believe last night happened, and every time he looked at her, he couldn’t help but beam.

Just as they were pulling into Las Vegas, YN couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

Harry turned to her fleetingly, his eyebrows furrowing, “What?”

“Nothing,” YN shook her head, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

“No, you’ve got to tell me now,” Harry smiled at her, “I can’t take the suspense.”

“It’s just Las Vegas,” YN laughed, “We could pull over and get hitched.”

Harry smiled and laughed for a minute and then his face dropped, “A Vegas wedding isn’t your dream, is it?”

YN shrugged, “As long as I’m happy, a Vegas wedding could be my dream. But then again, I couldn’t get married without Vivienne or I wouldn’t live to see my honeymoon.”

Harry laughs and carries on driving, putting Las Vegas behind them. The rest of the car ride was quiet, but they didn’t mind. The second that they entered California, YN felt so happy to be back on home soil. The only problem was the fight to stay sober which had been so simple in Minnesota wasn’t going to be so simple here. The one thing that YN knew she was going to be able to do now was write.

After last night, there were so many ideas and thoughts going through her head that she just trying to keep a hold of them so she could get them down properly later.

“Hey,” Harry turned to YN, watching as the girl turned her head to look at him, “Are you, uh, wanting to go home?”

“What do you mean?” YN laughed, “Wasn’t that the main point of this?”

“I just thought,” Harry stops at a red light and turns to YN again, “Maybe because Viv’s still away, you’d maybe want to come stays with me for the night?”

YN bites her lip, reaching over to grab Harry’s hand. Every time that man opened his mouth, he surprised her. There was one thing that YN did need from her and Viv’s apartment though.

“Is it okay if we swing by the apartment though?” YN asked, “There’s a song that I want to get down, and I need my guitar.”

Harry didn’t even hesitate. He made his way towards their apartment and stopped outside.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” He asked but YN shook her head, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips.

“Thank you,” YN smiled, “But I’m only going to be a minute.”

YN got out of the camper and made her way up the stairs. YN knew that Vivienne had her keys, but it didn’t take long to find the one that YN put in the plant pot in cases like this where she knew that she would need to get in and didn’t have a key.

It felt so good to be home, especially when she walked inside, and everything felt normal. She dropped the key on the kitchen counter and made her way towards her room. As she was passing one of the cabinets, she nearly cried when she saw a new photo in a frame on the side. It was a photo that YN didn’t even know had been taken from the show that she did when her album had been released. It made YN tear up a little bit, and it made YN happy that Vivienne was so proud of her.

When she walked into her bedroom, it was exactly how YN remembered it but not at the same time. All of the alcohol and the pills that YN had left in the room had been cleaned up and presumably thrown out. YN didn’t know if Vivienne had checked all of the places where YN hid her drugs, but YN didn’t care at this exact moment. Putting those thoughts out of her head, YN grabbed her guitar which was by the side of her bed and made her way out of the apartment, locking the door and putting the key back in the flowerpot as she did.

YN placed the guitar in the back of the camper and jumped back in the front, Harry laughed at the beaming smile that YN had on her face.

“How long have I got before we’re on a crunch with the song?” Harry laughed, knowing exactly what was going through her head.

It was nice that they were both songwriters because they both had the same way that their mind works when it came to writing the songs.

“About twenty minutes,” YN laughed, and Harry immediately started the camper.

“Well, we’ll make sure we’re there in twenty minutes.”

“Don’t talk to me, either,” YN was completely serious about this, “I’m going to sing it over and over in my head.”

The drive to Harry’s house wasn’t as far away as YN thought it was, and YN couldn’t believe this was Harry’s house when he pulled up. It was gorgeous, and it was right on the beach and YN almost cried at the sight of it. Harry pulled the camper right in front, and they both got out and it just felt so right. Harry grabbed the bags and YN grabbed her guitar and they walked inside the house.

YN’s mouth dropped. It was perfect. If anything, Harry was living in her dream home. YN didn’t give herself that much time because once she was inside, she basically ran to the sofa and dropped down on it.

YN started to strum the guitar, tuning it as she did so that it was perfect. That’s when she began to hash the chords out and fitted the melody on top and that was when she was ready.

“I know you were always there when I needed you/ No matter whatever I had done/ You were always there when I needed you/ You had the faith and strength that I never had/ I got caught up in the world where nothing was as it seems.”

At this point, YN didn’t even realise that Harry was now standing behind her listening to every word that came out of her mouth. He was in complete awe of the girl, even more so now how she had managed to think of this whilst he was driving. All YN could think was that she needed to get this out and written down as quickly as she could before not only, she forgot it, but inspiration left her.

“I’ve been in love and lost my senses/ Spared my soul each night that I’ve cried your words/ And yes I know why/ Because you were all I needed/ All I ever needed.”

The second that the song had finished, or as much as the song that was in her head, she was running back to her bag so that she could grab her notebook and write the lyrics down. Harry was leant on the back of the sofa, beaming at her as finally looked up once her ideas were down.

“What?” She laughed, walking over, and standing in between his legs, allowing him to place his hands on her hips.

“You just amaze me, that’s all,” He smiled, and YN bit her lip to suppress her smile.

YN shook her head, “The flattery isn’t necessary, Styles, you’ve already got me into your bed.”

Harry shakes his head, watching as YN turns out of his hands and attempts to walk away. It doesn’t last for long as Harry wraps his arms around her waist and stops her in her tracks.

“Oh, yeah?” He places a kiss on her neck, “Well my bed upstairs and I don’t see you in it.”

“And what are you going to do about that?”

“You’ll find out right now,” Harry laughs, spinning her around so that he could lift her up and wrap her legs around his waist.

YN was sitting on the end of Harry’s bed, as naked as the day she was born strumming her guitar with the view of the ocean filling her sight. Harry was lying on the bed, his back against the headboard and a newspaper and pen in hand whilst the two of them filled in a crossword.

“This is one for you,” Harry says, leaning forward slightly, “16th American President. 7 letters.”

YN laughed, “What? I’m supposed to know that because I’m American?”

“Well, yeah?” Harry laughed, moving so that he was sitting next to her, one of his resting behind her, “Aren’t all Americans obsessed with the presidents? Or if they aren’t, the school teaches you nothing but the presidents.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” She laughs, taking one final glance at the crossword before smiling up at him, “It’s Lincoln.”

“I know I’m not,” He laughed, writing it down with a smile on his face.

YN continued to strum, every once in a while, her eyes fluttering from the sea out of the window to Harry, who had his lip between his teeth and seemed to be concentrating ever so hard on his crossword. It was at this point that an idea sprung into her head that she knew what she needed to do.

YN leaned her guitar against the bed and stood up, leaning over to grab the shorts that she had been wearing earlier as well as one of Harry’s shirts that had been disregarded on the floor earlier in their rushed attempts to undress. She buttoned up the shirt so that her chest was covered and grabbed her shoes as well.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked, dropping his crossword on the bed, and looking at her with his eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m going to the beach,” She grinned, grabbing her sunglasses from the side.

Harry laughed, “Right now?”

“Yeah,” She laughed, “The beach is right there, and I never go. So, I’m going to the beach.”

Harry laughs again, “Can I come?”

“I thought that was a given,” YN laughs, “But I’m not waiting for you, so hurry up!”

And with that, YN was out of the door and making her way towards the back door of the house which very conveniently opened to the beach. YN had lived in Los Angeles her entire life, and she could count the number of times that she had been to the beach on one hand. I bet Harry didn’t even know the number of times that he had been to the beach, especially because his house backed onto the beach.

The second YN reached the sand she was pulling her shoes off, wanting nothing more than to feel the sand between her toes. YN darted as far as she could out into the middle of the sand before stopping, just taking a deep breath, and allowing the sea air to wash over her.

YN forgot about the whole world revolving around her until she felt two arms wrap around her waist from the back. YN squealed as he lifted her up and spun her around, turning her in his arms as well so she was facing him. YN laughed, lifting her arms up to wrap them around his neck.

“What was that for?” She grinned, allowing her fingers to mess with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“That,” He laughed, bringing his hands so that they were rested on the small of her back, “Was for running off without.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” YN feigns with a pout on her lips.

“You will be,” Harry laughs and before YN knows anything they’re both toppled over in the sand, YN landing on top of Harry with a smile on her face.

YN laughed, leaning forward to capture his lips on hers as they lay on the beach, not a single other person in sight, no other sound but one of the waves crashing against the shore. This was something she could get used to – that she wanted to get used to. The feeling of being in Harry’s arms, of his lips on hers – it was a dream.

Once they pulled away from each other, mainly because they both needed some air to actually breathe, YN rested her head on Harry’s chest and rested her hand on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her, trying to pull her tighter if that was even possible. This scenario right here was the exact thing that had gotten YN through rehab, the thought that this was waiting for her on the other side was all that she needed. The only other thing that she needed was Vivienne, but she would see the girl tomorrow and YN could wait.

When she finally lifted her head up again, resting her chin on Harry’s chest so she could look at him. He had a slight furrow in his eyebrows, creating a crease between them. YN lifted her finger up to his face, running it along the frown line until it disappeared.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, running her finger along his cheekbones now.

He grinned, grabbing her hand so that he could place a kiss on the tip of her finger, “I’m not thinking about anything.”

“Obviously you are,” YN laughs, shaking her head, “Come on, out with it.”

He sighs. At first, YN thought that it was just going to be something stupid, or something cute that they would’ve laughed at but then YN thought that it might be something a little more than that. It was by his hesitation mainly, but YN didn’t allow herself to dwell on it. Harry would tell her if it was important, but then again maybe he wouldn’t.

“I’m going back in the studio next week,” He says after a few beats, “And… I want you to come with me.”

YN sits up now, fully, pushing herself up so she’s looking at him. That wasn’t exactly what she was thinking was going to come out of his mouth, in all honesty, he didn’t think that was going to be it at all.

“What, uh,” She hesitates, coughing to clear her throat slightly, “What do you mean?”

“What I said,” He laughed, sitting up beside her as well and reaching over for her hand, “I want to write my next album with you, and maybe we can write yours.”

“Together?”

“Together,” He brought her hand up to place a kiss on the back of it.

It didn’t take long for YN’s face to beam the biggest smile possible and fling her arms around the man again. Out of everything, music was the thing that first bonded them and if they were able to do that again, this time with a full album, maybe even two – she was going to jump at the opportunity.

“So?” He asked one more time, pulling away so that he could look at her again, “You in?”

“Yes,” YN laughed, leaning forward to kiss his lips, “Yes, yes, a million times yes.”

“Well then, you better get your thinking cap on,” He laughed, “Because we’re gonna have fucking songs to write.”

“My thinking cap?” YN scoffed, nudging his shoulder with hers, “You’re saying that to the girl who just wrote a masterpiece on a road trip?”

“Yeah, only because I was focusing on driving,” Harry laughed, “All you had to do was sit there and look pretty.”

“Sit there and look pretty?” YN scoffs, pulling away from Harry and standing up, “Is that all you think I’m good for?”

“I mean,” Harry shrugged, pushing himself up from the sand to follow her. YN squealed when his hands wrapped around her waist again, “I suppose you can sing fine too.”

“Fine?” YN scoffed, trying to weave her way out of Harry’s arms, “I can sing fine? You cheeky son of a bitch.”

“I’m a cheeky son of a bitch?” Harry laughed, swinging his arms around her legs so that he could pick her up, “I’ll show you cheeky son of bitch.”

“Harry, no,” YN’s face dropped when she realised what Harry was doing, “No, Harry, it’s cold and you’re going to drop me.”

Harry laughed, walking them forward until his feet were in the water, “I’m not going to drop you.”

“Harry the water is freezing!” YN squealed as some drops from a wave hit her skin.

“Is it? I didn’t even notice,” He shrugged, “I don’t even think it’s that bad. You want to try?”

“Harry, no,” YN gripped his bicep as he pretended to drop her, but caught her not long after letting go, “Harry, get out of the water we’re going to freeze.”

Harry actually listened to her and started to walk out of the water, “You do know I wouldn’t have actually dropped you.”

“I know,” YN laughed, “Because I would have actually killed you.”

Harry laughed, “That wouldn’t have been very nice.”

“No,” YN laughed, “It wouldn’t.”

They were both beaming, but that didn’t stop them from leaning forward to kiss each other, and then for Harry to carry YN all the way back to the house.

YN stood looking at herself in the mirror. She was post-shower the next morning, her hair still damp from the water and a toothbrush dangling from her lips. She wasn’t going to lie and say that she didn’t enjoy sneaking a peek into Harry’s cupboards and cabinets.

“YN!” Harry called from what she guessed was the kitchen.

“Yeah?” The sound was muffled due to the toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, but she didn’t care.

“Someone’s here for you!”

YN furrowed her eyebrows and spat the toothpaste out of her mouth, “Give me a second!”

YN wiped her mouth and splashed her face with some water and walked out of the bathroom. At this point, YN was happy that Harry lived in a one-story house because it meant that she only had a few steps to take before she was in the living room.  

When YN did, and she saw her favourite person in the whole world sat on the sofa waiting for her she couldn’t help the tears that collected in her eyes.

“Surprise!” Vivienne opened her arms and accepted the hug that the YN came bounding towards her with, “Hi babe.”

“Hi,” YN mumbled in her neck, giving her a squeeze before pulling away to look at Vivienne’s face, “I thought you weren’t back until tomorrow.”

“Change of plan,” She laughed, especially when YN wrapped her arms around her again, “We wrapped up late last night and I caught the first flight back that I could this morning.”

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too, babe, me too.”

When YN joined Vivienne on the sofa, it was as though no time had passed. They immediately sprung into a conversation, talking about Vivienne’s job and how the trip to Hawaii was and then the harder conversations about rehab and how YN was doing. YN tried to ignore the guilt that racked up in her body when Vivienne’s eyes started to tear up when mentioning the overdose, and her road to recovery.

Harry brought them both tea but busied himself in the kitchen so that he wasn’t impeding on the conversation and YN was thankful. She needed to do this for herself and speak about it freely with the girl she cared about the most, but it was nice to know that he was only a room away, supporting her silence.

“YN,” Vivienne reached over and grabbed her hand, “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

“No,” YN shook her head, “If anything, I need to be saying how sorry I am to you. I had a problem, and I was too fucked up to see it. You saw it, both you and Harry did, and I ignored it. I ignored it until it was too late.”

“It wasn’t too late,” Vivienne shakes her head, “You’re still here, aren’t you?”

“I am,” YN nodded, bringing Vivienne’s hand up to place a kiss on the back of it, “And I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now.”

“Good,” Vivienne moves closer so that their arms are pressed together, “Because you do know if you died, I’d have to kill you.”

YN laughed, placing her head on top of her friends, “I’ll take your word for it.”

Harry, it turned out, had been cooking up a storm for them in the kitchen. YN’s mouth salivated at the sight of waffles with maple syrup being placed down in front of her. It was almost as though that man knew the key to her heart, and that sweet breakfast foods were certainly that.

It wasn’t her fault that she had a sweet tooth, and it certainly wasn’t her fault when she had to venture back into the kitchen to get more syrup.

“Next time I’ll just bring it out, yeah?” Harry laughed, running his hand down her back as she walked past.

YN scoffed and sat back down next to Vivienne, “You should have already known that.”

YN could feel Vivienne’s eyes burning into the back of her skull, but she ignored it and spooned another mouthful of waffle in. When she finally did turn to look at the girl, YN was surprised to see her eyebrows raised at her.

“What?” YN mumbled, confused as to why her friend was acting so strange.

“Nothing,” Vivienne shook her head, looking back down at her own waffle with a sly grin on her face.

“There’s obviously something,” YN pressed, wiping the corners of her mouth as she did so.

“No, it’s just…” The girl trailed off before laughing, “I’m glad you two finally worked on that sexual tension of yours.”

“Vivienne!” YN’s mouth dropped open, and she couldn’t even meet Harry’s eye but when she did turn to look at him, she wanted to smack that shit-eating grin off his face, “And what are you grinning about?”

“I mean,” He shrugged, “She’s not wrong.”

YN didn’t hesitate to pick up one of the couch pillows from the side of her and throw it in his direction. He moved out of the way so that it didn’t hit him but the thought was still there from her.

“No, in all honesty, I’m happy for you both,” Vivienne laughed, “I honestly don’t think I could’ve gone another week of watching this one pine over you.”

YN’s mouth drops open even more if that’s possible, “I didn’t pine!”

“Yes, yes you did.”

“Don’t worry,” Harry smiles at her, “I pined after you too.”

The three of them burst into laughter and as YN sat there, on Harry’s couch surrounded by her two-favourite people in the world she finally felt as though things may be looking up in her life, as though things may be okay.

If only she knew.

[hekateinhell]

Tell me abt preggers armand please. I have a fic im working on and need 2 hear other peoples opinions on this topic 😈

🥹🥹🥹

okay so first of all i'm so upset i didn't see this ask until i checked my askbox on my phone which i almost NEVER do anymore since i'm getting old and prefer to just answer things via laptop where i can keyboard smash at full capacity raw and unfiltered but like MY DMS ARE OPEN I'M NOT ALWAYS THE FASTEST RESPONDER BECAUSE I'M IN GRAD SCHOOL AND LIFE AND WHATEVER BUT I DON'T TRUST TUMBLR ANYMORE BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THIS UNTIL YESTERDAY ON DESKTOP TUMBLR PLS DON'T DEPRIVE ME OF MY PEOPLE

now that that's out of the way:

it depends! you have to be more specific, like are we talking vampires? human AU? BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR EACH

canon verse/vampire:

don't ask me to explain the science or whatever lol i don't care, i just skip to the pregnancy part!

i think armand would be SO FUCKING FERAL and defensive, like he's lost so much and been so traumatized in so many ways, the idea of anything happening to his baby would have him in full gremlin mode. imagine a feral cat hissing and spitting and clawing and biting (not for food but for violence)!

on the other hand, he'd be obsessively bonded to his baby daddy (daddies, if there's multiple babies). he is not letting them out of his sight (i default to lestat here LMAO listen i want them to knock each other up so bad--separate universes obviously)

HE WOULD NEST SO FUCKING HARD!!! i was going to say i apologize for my brain but then i realized that i don't actually but i want him to nest on a pile of lestat's clothes and give birth right there like a fucking cat 🥹

ALTERNATIVELY THOUGH: i also had this idea that's like louis impregnates lestat and armand at the same time and they get to go through their pregnancies together and it's every bit as horny, hellish, and sweet as you'd imagine 🫶🏻 i've said it before and i'll say it again--lestat would be the WORST pregnant person ever dead or alive!!

now for human AUs:

i guess my thoughts here primarily but not exclusively exist within the same universe as I Feel You (sorry idk if you read that fic but tl;dr- IT'S PWP OF TRANS!ARMAND 2/3RDS OF THE WAY INTO GETTING A TRAIN RUN ON HIM BY HIS BOYFRIENDS LESTAT, LOUIS, AND DANIEL AND HE'S YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF CUM SO YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE'S GOTTA PEE ON A STICK RIP BOYS)

i think each of his boyfriends would handle the whole thing differently! lestat would be so over the moon because he's careless (clearly) but also so damaged from his own childhood he would just see it as a chance for a do-over, reality and responsibility be damned. lestat's on sex and backrub duty, and he's good at it (the backrubs i mean, sex is a 50/50 but you know what, at least he's enthusiastic and good at manhandling armand so that's 70% of it right now and the 30% is absolutely ridiculous horny pregnancy hormones)

louis panics internally as he immediately starts creating a spreadsheet of their finances. outwardly though, he's very calm and supportive and he's the one who's most able to comfort armand the most and settle him down during his crazy mood swings. armand basically lives in louis's baggy sweaters during the last trimester

daniel panics outwardly (listen LOL the whole premise of Our House is that human!daniel molloy is not ready for children and i find it hard to budge from that mindset, but he could ease into the Cool Uncle role quite nicely). he handles distractions and food cravings, and he might not be down to be a dad yet but he does buy very thoughtful and sentimental baby gifts every now and then that make armand tear up

i was gonna add mermaid AU thoughts but then i remembered armand's laying eggs instead (he's feral during that whole process too so i guess it's similar to the vampire version. i just love him so much okay!!!)

OH ONE LAST VERY IMPORTANT THING

pregnant!armand fics on ao3 I'M CRAZY ABOUT AND HAVE REREAD AT LEAST 10 TIMES:

shelter by @rainbowcarousels

it must be the clouds in my eyes and everything in that series by @its-ness-ness

[archerygun]

Does anyone else remember that time they just fucking forgot about Ray having PTSD?

Okay full disclosure I haven’t finished Ashes to Ashes yet so maybe they explain why the plotline lasted one episode and was never brought up again (do not give me spoilers) but straight up are you telling me Ray Carling got over PTSD by shooting someone. In like two days. He’s fine now guys don’t think about it.

Because I’ve been thinking. Sam has to want to spend the rest of his existence in the 70s, which means willingly accepting that he will have to deal with Ray Bitchface Carling for the rest of his existence (I would stay in the present just to avoid dealing with Ray tbh). And Sam Tyler is the textbook example of a severe ‘atlas complex’ my poor pathetic little man. So, I propose:

Ray suffers from PTSD throughout the whole show.

He fucks up on jobs, everyone ignores his symptoms, he tries to sort it out with drinking and smoking and shooting and it doesn’t work cos y’know it’s a serious mental health condition.

His career genuinely suffers because he spaces out and has anxiety about things - much to Ray’s horror because he exists to try and please Gene.

Sam, being from 2006 and also generally unable to resist trying to fix everything all the time tries to help Ray get the help he needs to semi-function again

Ray initially refuses but he gets so desperate one night that he shows up SUPER drunk at Sam’s shitty flat and just goes “I want my life back.”

Sam tries to help him find half-decent psychological care and improvise some coping mechanisms from what he knows from his time as a DCI.

The two of them have to keep this whole arrangement a secret from everyone at work, so a lot of secret meetings/Sam trying to calm the bastard down while he’s going panic mode

I dunno, just some thoughts. Hey maybe he can teach Ray not to be such a shithead while he’s at it.

If I’m wrong and there’s context about this in Ashes to Ashes, my sincere apologies?

[slashingdisneypasta]

Inkubus x Fem!Soulmate!Reader || Drabble

Plot: This is about two people who were undoubtedly meant for each other, but who’s lives did not fit together; With a sweet ending. *I wanted to write something 60-70 percent sad, 40-30 percent happy, and full of a familiar kinda love ^^ This is that! Its also a good excuse to call Inkubus ‘young man’ XD

Warnings: You’re an old woman and your death is definitely coming.

Tagging: @marinerainbow , @masqueradeball and @your-mxnd-is-mxne .

You’re a very old woman when he finally comes back to you.

You’re standing and looking out the window when the front door unlocks, no key needed, and someone slips in behind you. It could be a robber, but you doubt it; Not that you would have moved at all if it had been. You’re too old, too tired, too… dying. Its close, you know.

And that’s why you know exactly who’s back.

It’s been at least 40 years since he said he would see you again. At least he kept his word; you have to give him that. Even if he is a few decades later then you thought, even if he is just in time.

He always had excellent, albeit unfortunate timing.

Nevertheless you greet him with a warm grin- 30 years ago, you would have greeted this man with your knuckles to his face, but honestly your urge to hit him went away with menopause. Now, you don’t have time anymore to hold a grudge against him. Now, the warm afternoon sun is on your face and your favourite person is back. Its as simple as that.

When you glance away from the window, an odd calm feeling filling you up as soon as you see Inkubus for the first time in so long (A feeling that you don’t think you’ve felt since the last time. Like everything is right again now that he’s here), he’s removing his coat and leaving it on the back of your couch.

Like he lives here. Like he’s lived here with you this whole time. Right where he should have been.

Almost laughing, you roll your eyes. He still has brass balls, you see.

“… you took your time.” You finally speak, the words coming out stronger than you thought they would. Still weak, still tired, still old- but not once does your voice waiver.

“My apologies, dear. I was held up.”

The sound of his voice makes your heart plummet down underground, the sound just as perfect and devastating as it had been before. Better then you remember. “Mhm… “

For a moment you’re not sure what’s going to happen, next- is he going to take one good look at you and be disappointed? Disgusted? Would he pick up his coat and leave again? For a split millisecond you feel insecure about yourself, you feel old like one of those witches in a Brothers Grimm fairytale and you hate yourself for it, but you worry he wont like you anymore; this way.

Like a child.

Instead though a soft, though of course still mischievous, grin slips across Inkubus own old-face and he meets you at the window, taking your delicate hand and kissing it. Your eyes widen, still feeling like a child now- but in a good way. A silly, hopeless, butterflies-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach, hot-in-the-face, kind of way. “… why don’t we get you to a chair, dear.”

You’re quick to act stubborn, shaking your head. “I can stand.”

Theirs that amused twinkle in his eye that is so familiar with but felt so far away for so long. “Y/N I’ve been gone from you for a very long time and I missed out on assisting you all these years, so please… allow me to help you to a chair.”

… Your ankles are cramping, actually, so alright- Giving in, you offer a shrug and a gentle smile. While he guides you to your favourite chair by the hand, you decide to conversationally… rip into him. A little. “You know- you didn’t need to be gone so long, young man.”

“I had some things I needed to attend to.” He insists, once again not giving you any details- which is just fine. Knowing him, you don’t want to know. … It might actually put you in cardiac arrest. “And- “ A chuckle escapes him as you sit down which make you grin wider. “Young man, Y/N??”

“Hey, you used to call me young lady- I can finally return the favour!”

“Not really.”

“I’m finally older than you!”

“Not even slightly are you older than me, my dear.” Inkubus assures, standing behind your chair with his hands on the back. You turn your head and look up at him, screwing up your nose. “See? Still a child.”

“Oy!- “ You are an 83 year old woman, thanks so much-

When he rounds the chair to kneel in front of you and take hold both your hands this time, your mood sobers again, seeing that happy look in his eyes that you know he’s only ever gotten when he was around you. Taking a deep breath, you bite the bullet and address the elephant in the room. He should know already, that would be why he’s here you would wager, but you still need to say it. For him and for you. “… you know I’m about to die, don’t you?”

Theirs a grave, grim tinge to his expression now. “… well I wasn’t about to miss your final act was I, sweetheart?”

Quietly, so quietly, almost silently, you ask wince and ask; “… is it going to be tonight?”

He just gives you a serious-stern look, yes, and you sigh. Well alright. You suppose it is time. “Thanks for coming, then.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” He grins, and you know by this he means he wouldn’t have missed seeing you a last time for the world, not that he wouldn’t have missed you dying for the world, despite his odd and unfortunate phrasing. It does make you give a little huff of a laugh, though. Hopeless demon.

“Glad to hear it. … So you’re staying for the evening?”

“Oh, I’m making you dinner in fact.”

“Oh??” Your eyes light up, an actual full smile spreading across your face. He’s going to cook for you?? He’s staying??

“Mhm… “

“Well- “You laugh. “I hope you brought groceries because I’ve been living on canned spaghetti.”

With a chuckle, Inkubus rolls his eyes. “Honestly dear I would have thought you knew by now- I’m always prepared.

And also very concerned about your diet lately. Canned  spaghaetti??  This is probably why you’re on deaths door, love.”

Your jaw drops and you promptly flick him, before he gets up and presses a kiss to lips that hadn’t kissed for the 40 years he had been gone. Your eyelids fall immediately closed on impact and you could not be happier- on the day you were dying.

[hibernationsuit-remade]

Silent fury and/or trembling hands? For the writing prompt? :D

omg these are so good :') thank u!

trembling hands Waking up after hibernation nap could've been more peaceful, but alas, your first minutes are just a scientist monologuing about saving the colony from the Board and that you have been a popsicle for 70 years instead of 10, and then the said mad scientist sends you down to the planet on an escape pod. Sad! Have a look on how Toby's first moments went on Terra 2. warnings: violence mention, death mention, self-concious thoughts, gun mention

---

"Oh my god did I just kill a man???"

"Technically, no. It was the escape pod, and maybe his stupidity."

"But-"

The old man's calm-ish voice sounded sligthly more high-pitched than before. "Calm down, take a deep breath." He paused for a moment, then continued, with his typical voice this time. "What's done is done. Now go find the ship."

Oh boy, he probably hates me already.

I stood up, slowly and steadily, trying not to fall, as if my body was slowly recalling how to stand. Even worse, the 36 hour period of no eating before entering hibernation added dizziness and nausea to the mix. I definitely didn't feel like those smiling people on the pictures of the papers Klara was designing.

Oh no...Klara...

"Hey! Doctor Welles? I need to ask you a-"

"Whatever questions you have, I'll answer them later. You can come to my lab once you get that ship and we can talk there," the scientist said, and quickly added before I could reply, "And please, call me Phineas."

"Fine, okay, sure." He definitely hates me.

I took a deep breath and looked at the sky to get my thoughts together. Except that instead of seeing the typical, calming Earth scenery, what I saw instead was another planet covering almost half of the sky.

"Listen, I know this may all be shocking for you, but you have to get moving." Phineas's voice said.

May?! I'm barely holding myself together after your monologue and now you want me to steal a dead man's ship??? And I'm supposed to be calm? "Why the hurry?"

"The Board will come. And trust me, they don't want my success to surface. Erm, I mean, a live Hope colonist isn't something that will make them happy. Now go."

Fine. I looked around to see the way forward and noticed two small, green creatures running somewhere. The image from a guide to space fauna came to my mind right away: sprats. Tiny little creatures that apparently live almost everywhere in the world. I'll follow these and see where they lead. Surely they know their way around.

The sprats led me on a small little road, past a half-eaten body of a human and two dog-like animals that didn't seem friendly enough to walk past them normally. Were they the ones who ate the person? I didn't feel like finding out, and sneaked past hiding in the grass. This feels like some kind of shitty action movie. Or a joke. Surely this can't be a joke?

The road led into a cave, and the sudden change in light and a somewhat bad landing worsened my headache. I took a few steps and leaned on a wall, fighting the urge to lay down on the ground and curl up like a hedgehog trying to defend itself from the bad things around it. Of course, a migraine, as if the situation wasn't bad enough.

Back when I was a child, I used to get migraines often, but I haven't had any for a few years now. This one felt even worse than I remembered. I took a few deep breaths and wondered what could've triggered it. Dehydration? Hunger? Being on a strange new planet my body wasn't used to? Or was it the fucking escape pod?

I continued walking forward slowly, leaning on the wall with one hand. My vision became blurrier every step and the ringing in my ears got stronger, but as I barely managed not to trip over one of the sprats skittering in front of my leg, it all suddenly stopped.

And so did the time.

I watched the sprat, a critter which previously ran quite fast, move slower than a snail.

One blink, and everything went back to normal.

"What the f-" I muttered before crashing on the ground.

"Careful now," Phineas murmured. I barely registered the words he said after as I was slowly getting back up. Something about side effects of hibernation. Yeah right.

The headache seemed to have eased for now, leaving the fatigue as my only company. He could've at least let me drink some water first before stuffing me into an escape pod.

"Hey, who's there?" A voice asked, coming from the cave further part of the cave.

I managed to walk a bit further and saw a man sitting on a bench, supplies laying around. The man himself was wounded, not lethally but still badly.

He noticed me and gestured to come closer. "Okay, good, now..." He took a deep breath, and instead of what could've been a greeting, began, "You've tried the best, now-" he paused again, wincing from pain, "-now try the rest. Spacer's Choice. Oh Law, that stings."

What the hell was that? I looked around and noticed some first aid supplies in a box. It's been years since I took the first aid course, but it was better than nothing. "Sit still, I'll patch you up."

The man, who introduced himself as guard Pelham while I was doing all I could remember about dealing with such wounds, watched me do it all with a worried face. Do I look as unsure as I actually am?

Yet once I was done, he looked at his side and smiled. "Looks like the bleeding stopped, I owe you one. Though, I hope you don't mind me omitting this little exchange from my report. Spacer's Choice doesn't like us accepting outside help."

"Spacer's wha-" I stopped myself from finishing the sentence. Was this guy so worried I'll tell his supervisors I helped him? "Never mind. How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks to you. Might've bled out on my own. Or worse, would've had to beg our boss to give us some Adrena-Time."

"Wait. Aren't you supposed to get a sick leave for this so your wound would heal?"

"Sick what?"

"Paid time off work? So you can rest?"

"That's a funny joke. Why would someone be paid for resting?"

"Are you telling me you-" I stopped and sighed, muttering quietly to myself, "Where the hell did I end up?"

"You're acting a bit weird. Did you hit your head or something? You're in Emerald Vale, a Spacer's Choice community. You know what that is, right?"

"Uhhhhh...no. Sorry, my thoughts are all over the place now. Just woke up after long hibernation."

"Oh. That explains what you're wearing. Where did you travel from?"

"...Earth?"

Pelham laughed. "Joking again, are you? That's alright, keep your secrets."

"What? I'm not joking, I-" Could Phineas be telling the truth? "Um. Do you know anything about the Hope?"

"The what? Is that some new Auntie Cleo drug? You're not one of them, are you?"

What the fuck? "Um. No. Sorry. What year is it?"

"2355. Man, you sure you're alright?"

We left in 2285... "Um. Yeah, definitely. Sorry." I really need to change the topic. "Uh. How did you end up here, anyway?"

"We were patrolling the area. There's an illegally grounded ship there, and we're looking for its owner."

That must be Hawthorne's ship. "Really, where?"

"That way," he pointed at the entrance blocked by the canisters. "But, there's Marauders there. Thought I could take them out, but then my gun misfired. So, I barricaded myself here. If they try to come, I'll deal with all of them in one shot." The guard smirked, clearly proud of himself.

"Right, great." The migraine symptoms were slowly starting to come back and I realized that I really need to continue to look for that ship. "Whatever. Listen, I really need to get out of this cave. Can you help me move these canisters so I could go?"

"Why bother moving them when you can just blow them up?" The guard picked up the gun laying next to him and handed it to me, along with extra ammo. "You'll definitely get really far with all that ammo. Sorry that I can't give you one more, it's stuck in my side."

"Uh, thanks," I took the gun and looked at it. I've never fired a gun, can't even remember ever holding one. They were heavier than they looked. Though, the fact that something so small could be lethal...

"Everything alright?" Pelham asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I noticed my left hand was holding my side, right where the wound was a few months ago. Wait, not months. Seventy years ago. I sighed and nodded quickly. What a mess.

"Good. Now, just aim at the canisters and shoot. Easy as a pie. Just make sure you're not too close to them."

"I- Um, alright." I walked back from the canisters and raised the gun with my trembling hands. Why can't this all be just a bad dream? I thought before pulling the trigger.

[zhongliologist]

Hello!! I'd like to send in a request for the writing challenge. I'd like to request a drabble for Alhaitham, and since today's my grandmother's 70th birthday, let's go with the number 70! No specific requests, feel free to take any and all creative liberties with this one! I like surprises. I've been following you for some time now, and think your writing is wonderful, so I'm excited to see what you come up with!!

Hope you have a great day!

(Hi! Thank you so much for supporting this blog and liking my work!! Hm idk if Al-haitham here is a little ooc but whever skskskks hope you like it! I recommend listening to the Korean version as well!)

Al-haitham + Fallin' Flower by SEVENTEEN

It was that time of the year again where flowers bloom amidst the lush green of Sumeru’s forest, like life beginning anew; like love blooming earnestly.

Al-haitham paced in his study, tasked with the job of sorting out old books and journals which have collected dust over the past two years. Some will be placed in the dedicated library of his home, while some will be donated to the House of Daena, usually those which have higher value to scholars.

As for the journals, he once thought it would be useful to have a handy notebook whenever he needed it, but now, it had become quite an obsession. Writing his thoughts in a journal seemed to clear Al-haitham’s mind, and he would just write whatever and whenever, often in various scripts and languages he was fluent in.

Picking up a tattered dark green notebook, Al-haitham pulled it open. It reminded him of the time he has to go to Liyue for a business trip; a time where your relationship were still tiny buds emerging from a branch.

Entry #57

I discussed various things with her again. It was fascinating, to say the least.

She said to me, “What a mind.” Not that no one has ever said that to me before, but why is it different with her?

Perhaps I would calm down once I return home. Out of sight, out of mind.

Entry #59

I told her I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.

She only smiled to me—a smile that hurts more because it’s beautiful.

Like a heart filled with sadness.

But even so, it’s better this way. No one reaches their hand for falling petals.

Al-haitham closed the journal and placed it in a box on the foot of the table. There was a time when he thought it was the last time he would see you, and he had even resolved himself to that eventuality. Yet, the ultimate truth—fate, liked to play hooky with him in times and places he was the least prepared, much to his chagrin.

He found it, the red journal he was writing on a little later on. Opening it to an entry he remembered writing, he continued reminiscing.

Entry #12

I had thought I’d once again return to my peaceful life as the Grand Scribe, yet I am only confronted with complicated emotions. Going about this rationally; trying to overthink my way out of my feelings remain futile. What is it that makes her special anyway? Why am I feeling this way in the first place? I don’t want to admit it but…

In the end. I simply miss her.

I fly scattered in the wind, drifting away, where will I end up falling?

Entry #22

How hilarious this must be for fate.

For her to appear like this in Sumeru City. What are the chances? I could only laugh at the circumstances.

But then again, who could stop me from seeing her again? This isn’t how it should be. But maybe it’s true that somehow, you change unexpectedly for a person.

Al-haitham chuckled at his stubborn indignation from a year before. “Soon you’ll see that you have already fallen into the trap long before you realized you were in it.” Flipping a few pages forward, the dates change as well as the seasons. From the unbearable summer heat, to the leaves finally getting drenched in light rain, you had already taken root in Al-haitham’s heart.

Entry # 67

I sit here in my office facing this blank page before me. Even though there are numerous words which swirl in my head, I cannot fathom where I begin or end.

It had taken me a few days to reconcile with myself. It is either I be honest or I’ll lose her forever. The wound in my pride, that I can bear but losing her is a thought that is difficult to imagine. Perhaps the Lesser Lord was right, I already have the answers I seek. I just need to face what those answers entail.

I have never thought I would want to fall for someone. I was living in the moment. My life was alright here in Sumeru—my job as the grand Scribe, my peaceful nights reading. I thought that was enough for me. That is, until I met her.

There I realized that everything had a reason after all. This world to me now means more than what I had thought, I came to know that.

Entry #79

In my heart, a flower has bloomed.

It may not be me to say such things, yet I cannot withhold myself. After meeting her, I now understood what Kaveh was fighting for. This love, this romance which grasped even me who was drifting in the wind. The place where my fallen heart has reached is definitely the happiest place in the world. With her, even my dim future becomes clearer as time goes by.

I want to be with her.

I realized that just now.

Entry #89

To you,

It is the time when flowers bloom and fall, our wounds heal and you bloom. We are now living our first and the last, so I will treasure you for all my days. You have truly loved me, a scattered petal in the wind, and I have come to love you too.

Al-haitham offered a small gentle smile at his final account, remembering the day when flowers fell upon you; your smile radiating like the sun. He had no words left to describe how he felt at that time. It was a feeling which needed to be experienced to be understood.

“Al-haitham? What are you doing?”

Your voice rang through the doorway of his study, curious at how his gaze has softened at you. It was not every day that the ever-serious man would give you that look. Surely, there was a reason for it.

“Oh, just reading something interesting,” he replied, smiling gently. “But you know, I’m truly glad to have you in my life.”

You leaned your head to the side, intrigued by his sudden honestly. “Huh? What’s that all about?”

The man only hummed mischievously and continued with his reading. “Oh it’s nothing.”

Spotify Wrapped Drabble Challenge is still open!

[sadcloudclub]

LOC’d in

Braids, Relaxers, Texturizers, Twists, Silk Press

I’ve had them alllllllll. Black hair is truly an art. But it’s also a struggle, a very vulnerable struggle.

Growing up I would rotate between braids with beads and the rendezvous with the hot comb. And that hot comb was the worst when it tapped your ear. I hated my hair growing up, one time I took scissors and cut off the entire left side of my hair. Chop chop. My hair was doing a lot and none of it was what I wanted. I wanted long straight hair. I had short coils suffocated by endless bouts of frizz. In elementary school, I started wearing relaxers and though, it got me closer to my lusciously straight locks, it tore the hell out of my hair’s health.

I remember in fourth grade after getting my hair done, I would reach up and feel what felt like a thin crunchy cracker over 70% of my head. And me being a kid, I would pick at it. And pick, and pick, and pick. I didn’t know until middle school that these were scabs because my scalp was nonexistent at this point. Relaxers would burn and my hair dresser would out a little shampoo to calm it down. That magic shampoo was the solution to anything the relaxer touched. My hair schedule went: relaxer every 5 weeks, in between I get a wash and straighten. Wrap my hair at night and spraying this fantasy smelling mist oil to refresh my hair in the morning. When i brushed my hair, it sounded like I was brushing one of my doll’s heads.

It was frustrating because I wanted my long straight hair, but there’s no way I would achieve that with the amount of damage on my hair. I would take a few months off and get braids, which I enjoyed after the tension loosened on my head. Sleeping was awful if the braids were too tight. Painkillers and soft pillows were sweeter than lifesavers.

High school, I decided I needed a drastic change. So I chopped my hair off (though not much of it) into a pixie cut. Won’t lie, it was pretty dope. I liked it and even without relaxing it, I finally saw a style I liked that was easy, too. And for once in my life- my hair started growing. Sprouting like a weed. I was completely natural and had a thick head of hair. More hair means more work and I did not like work, ha ha. Braids were a constant for me, again, despite the pain. I bleached my hair blonde and I loved it so much but my hair dried up like the desert. It was breaking off again and I didn’t know how to care for it. Natural hair seemed like so much effort- LOC method, twist it, pineapple at night, Bantu knots, etc. I couldn’t find anything that kept my hair moisturized. I couldn’t find a style that would ease my freaking mind.

Until… I met this guy at my retail job and his hair was loc’d down his back. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And if you’ve yet to know me- Hi, my name is T and I am known for being extremely impulsive. Within a few weeks, I started my locs and they were cute. Cute little twists bunching on my head and swinging by my chin. Didn’t last long though.

I kept with the style and sure enough, after a year my hair was thriving. So much that I decided to dye my head blue. Loved that, especially since it left remnants of blonde which now cover my ends. Feeling so cool with that! And my hair didn’t dry out either, it just said Oh okay, we’re blue now. Best part is, I don’t do much with my hair. My list of products went from a full cabinet and drawers to a single shelf. And most products are normal things I use to cook/clean with like ACV and coconut oil.

My hair has never been longer, going from chin length at the start to now mid back. I’ve been in this game for over 5 years now. It was not an easy game, if I’m being honest. Locking my hair was not something I had seen possible, until I did. I was the only one out of my friends, and my self esteem was already tattered. I’ve encountered the jokes about me being a pothead or if I actually wash my hair of course. But the beauty I found within will always outweigh that. My perception of self eliminated all the ignorance.

I’m a grown adult now, fuck. And I fucking love my hair, I think it’s the coolest shit I’ve ever seen. All I want to do is take good care of it and honor my crown. It took a lot to get here- went through hell and back, a few times (I’m a cycler).

Every tear, every scab, every ounce of pain was worth it.

👑

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 87. brb x oc

a/n: any of yall have that weird relative that seems to be a cryptic who knows way too much about everything? No? Just me and Bea? Okay.

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: FLUFF, MAV IS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK, Bea's aunt is indeed a witch

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84

85/86

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes

-

“Rooster, don’t joke with me.”

“I am not joking with you.”

Maverick places a hand over his heart, then starts to walk around his nephew, stopping to support his weight on his knees, “Oh dear God, okay,” he breathes in and out rapidly, “Okay, you–” Maverick ends up laughing and running to his godson, wrapping his arms around Bradley’s middle and, surprising, lifting him up just for a little bit with how happy he was.

Rooster makes a sound of surprise, immediately trying to go back down - being this tall and strong makes it very hard for someone to pick him up and yet Pete did it without issues, amazingly considering he was the size of a toddler- “Woah!Mav!” his uncle puts him down, then playfully punches his shoulders repeatedly. He knew he’d be excited, the way Pete would subtly drop hints about how he wanted the two to finally tie the knot was reason enough to believe.

Pete calms down, but his smile remains. They are both at a quiet corner of the base they were all staying at, somewhere where Rooster knew they’d won't be bothered too much, the last thing he needed was Nat freaking out or Jake giving him a knowing smirk, or any of the Dagger squad really. This was a secret mission within a mission and no one besides him and his uncle should know, “Rooster I–” Maverick just shakes his head with a huge grin, propping his hands on his hips, “When did you decide it?”

“A few months ago.” he says, crossing his arm and moving his weight to the opposite leg with a cock of his hip, “I know it sounds crazy but I can’t see myself without Bea. I love her Mav.” and Pete knew it, he knew it way too well, “I never ever thought about marriage before, i honestly didn’t think I’d want to get married.” 

It was more of he didn’t want to because of fear and anger and all those messy feelings he couldn’t elaborate too much. But now he was sure about it, he was sure, he was certain and he wanted Mav’s help to do it in some way. “What are you planning, then?” his godfather asked, mirroring the younger pilot’s crossed arms position. Rooster’s jaw moved back and forth, looking back over his shoulder to see if there was any of the Dagger squad getting close.

“I’m still working on it.” he replies once he’s sure the coast is clear, “But I’d need your help.” Pete’s smile gets even wider, chuckling like a proud father, “And I know how much you’ve been bugging me about it.”

“But I was right in the end.”

Well…he was. 

“Yes, yes you were. I’m just writing some stuff down on my phone and I’ll show you later, I really want this thing to work.” Bradley sighs, running a hand through his sandy brown strands, “She deserves something good, you saw how happy she was at her birthday.”

“Before or after she punched her ex?”

Bradley couldn’t help the soft laugh that breaks through, scratching his temple as he remembered that scene, watching Eric fall to the ground like a sack of spuds with his nose bleeding was the most entertaining thing he had seen in a long long while. It helped that it was Beatrice who made that possible. He knew she was capable of, she’s capable of so many things and she’s so unaware of them sometimes.

But he knew it was a process he’d like to be part of. She grew so much ever since they started dating, he knew even if they weren’t she’d still be able to do it. Beatrice is capable, she’s good, she’s just incredible.

And he wanted to ask her to be his wife.

He knew he still had time until he got back - four months now and counting - but that was enough for him to organize everything. It was going to be special, she deserves it nothing less, “What do you need my help with then?”

“Not only your help, Penny’s too. But let me organize everything like I said,I need to make sure there’ll be nothing in the way.” he says, his lips quirking with a fondness while he rubs his ring finger, “I already have a ring in mind.”

“You do?”

“Bea doesn’t like flashy stuff and I saw her nonna’s old wedding ring and…I’m kind of basing it off of that.” 

Pete looked like he was ready to cry, biting his lip and nodding while sniffling and looking to the side, in a way he thought Rooster wouldn’t see him quickly wiping his eyes. Maverick remained looking away, placing his hands back on his hips as the wind moved between the two, he then nodded once, inhaling deeply and turning his eyes back to Rooster, “Alright.You know you can count on me.”

Bradley smiles back, “I know,Mav.” he says, hugging his uncle tight. Pete clapped his back, clenching his flight suit and not being able to hold back another sniffle, “I wouldn’t want anyone else to help me with this.”

I wouldn’t want anyone to help me with this, Pete. I’m serious about Carole.

Pete sighed softly, the memories intertwining and repeating itself again. Pete was…more than happy, happy wouldn’t be enough to say how he was feeling right now, he was completely elated to be there, to be part of Bradley’s life again and so quickly too. Months before he couldn’t see this happening, he couldn’t even make Brad look at him without anger.

And now his nephew was asking him to help propose to his girlfriend. “Well,I’m glad to be in for the ride.” the older pilot smiles, pulling back and tapping his godson’s cheek like a proud father, “Just let me know when you need me.”

“Of course Mav,and please don’t tell anyone else yet?”

“I won’t.I promise. Are you going to talk to Beatrice later tonight?”

The mention of his girlfriend makes Bradley’s eyes shine and his smile widen, “I am, finally we’ll be able to video chat.” After a long time of messaging back and forth he’d finally see her face. It has been very hectic lately and while he gets it, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss her tremendously. Pete just chuckles, patting his shoulder affectionately before the two wander away from their quiet spot to the main areas of the base.

He was good with distracting himself since the mission called for a lot of his attention, time truly goes by fast when you are flying a F-18 and doing a good job at it. By the time it was night, he was already fidgety, going to the little area where everyone would chat with their loved ones and closed the door behind himself for some privacy.

Not that he’d do anything there, because he’s not stupid and he could control himself - most of the time - when dealing with Beatrice. The connection there was a bit slow, so he had to wait a little while for the call to actually load, in the meantime, he just looked down at his ring finger, using the pad of his index to draw an imaginary wedding band around it, trying to see what it’d look like on him just as he imagined on her.

Beatrice’s hands were smaller, softer, delicate but very powerful - as Eric well knows - even for her own self. He had a lot to organize from afar and he couldn’t be too anxious about it because he had a mission to finish and he had a house to go back to. A house that he shared with Beatrice and Jolene, he missed that dog too. He looks back up to check the connection, frowning when it still had the ‘loading’ still there. 

His finger taps on the table anxiously, following the bouncing of his leg. He leans his head back against the chair’s backrest, crossing his arms over his chest and breathing in deeply, just waiting for it to do something. He had a short time to talk to Beatrice and he was excited to do it after so long.

Just messaging on the phone isn’t really…well, it is good but he liked seeing her face too, seeing her expressions and knowing she’s okay, that she’s safe meant a lot to him.

A ping called his attention, making the pilot lift his head from the headrest, seeing the ‘connection established’ shining on the screen, “Finally.” he muttered, pulling the chair closer so he could have a better look at Beatrice. 

It takes a few seconds but eventually he sees…nothing, he sees just the empty kitchen and the top of Jolene’s head as she walks around. Bradley furrows his eyebrows, “Bea?” he calls with his voice as close to the mic as he could, hearing a gasp of surprise and the clanking of something in the sink. 

“Brad!!” she calls, her body taking shape as she steps in front of the laptop on her side, “Sorry!I was getting some water.” she explains, adjusting herself on the chair and pulling herself closer to the screen,”Hi.”

“Hi, gorgeous.” he replies, folding his arms on the desk, “Busy day?”

Beatrice laughs but then nods and he takes her attire of denim overalls, a band shirt - Van Halen apparently - under it, a bandanna holding back the hair that wasn’t pulled back in her ponytail, “Yes,I’ve been doing some more DIY stuff- oh!” she stands up again, grabbing the laptop as she walked to the side of the kitchen where their stove and cabinets were “Look!”

It takes a while for the image to settle, but he follows her pointing finger to where he could see color. She walked closer until he could see the geometric backsplash between the counter and cabinets, it looked so good you’d think it came with the house, “Oh, wow, did you do that gorgeous?”

“I did!” her head pops up on the corner of the screen “I can’t go too far or else I’ll unplug the laptop, but yes I did!” he hears her bare feet tapping back to the table she was seated, “Michael helped me put it on too, but I cut the right measurements!”

She looked and sounded so happy, he couldn’t help but lean his head on a closed fist, “Well it looks amazing.”

“Thank you-oh!Oh! I have to show you something!” she stands up quickly, leaving the screen. He could hear the sound of something plastic being lifted from the ground. Beatrice's head comes back, her smile never faltering “Look!” she holds up a tool box, not any tool box, a purple tool box filled with equally purple power tools.

Bradley chuckles, noticing it was a full set - except in purple - and she added little stickers with names on everything so she wouldn’t forget, “Well, you got yourself some power tools then?”

“Michael suggested it.” she says, gently closing the box and putting it away, “He’s saying since I’m doing so many DIY projects I should have my own tool set.” she smiles, placing her head on her palms, the action making her cheeks squish up and he had to fight the need to scream, she looked like a chipmunk. “I’ve been watching a lot of videos and I’ve been doing some stuff, nothing dangerous! But it’s a lot cheaper than buying at a decor store.”

Rooster smiles right back at her, enjoying her enthusiasm over her new hobby. She was a very creative person so he wasn’t surprised to see she found other outlets for herself, “Like what, besides the backsplash?”

“Well…” she drawls the word, trying to think on it “I’ve added a colored arch behind our couch and my couch in the art room so it ‘pops’ a bit more, I got a cabinet on a thrift store and repainted it black and yellow so it matches the decor and left it on the hallway so we can put a little bit of everything there,I also made a vertical garden wall with some trelices I found! I think it looks good! And I’m making us a rug for our room.”

That made him pause and suddenly sit straighter, “A rug?”

“Yeah! It’s basically threading yarn through a thin but sturdy cloth then cutting it and gluing a non-slip rug pad underneath. It’s a bit big because I want it to like, cover a good chunk of our room but I’m doing it!”

He just looked at her in complete shock and adoration, of course she’d do something like that. There was no way Beatrice could be even more incredible and yet she keeps proving him wrong! 

“I hope you like it.”

“I know I’ll love it baby.” he says sweetly, “You are so talented you just can’t keep your creativity still.”

Beatrice blushes a soft red, one that brings out the faint freckles forming over her nose, something he never noticed before because it probably meant she was spending a lot of time outside. He was glad she was having a good time even with him gone, she deserved to have some fun and if it helped the house in the process even better, “How was your week though? We weren’t able to talk before today.”

“I know.” she mutters, adjusting herself on the chair again and leaning on her clasped hands, “It’s been pretty nice, nothing unusual. Well Penny thinks there are raccoons at the bar,” he arches his eyebrows when she says it, surprised “Yeah, something is ripping the trashbags from the bin but she’s not sure if it’s an animal or a person, so she wants to add some cameras around the bar just to make sure.”

“Sounds reasonable enough.” he comments, “Anything else?”

Beatrice opens her mouth, then closes, then opens again only for not words to make their way out, “Bea?” his girlfriend snaps her eyes back at him almost as if she didn’t hear him the first time, “Something wrong?”

“Huh? Oh no no! I was just remembering that yesterday me and my aunt went shopping.”

“Your aunt? Your aunt Martha?”

“Yeah…”  she drawls off looking to the side “She showed up right outside the door.”

-

Beatrice looks up from the rug she was currently working on when she heard the doorbell chime. She frowns, pulling out her phone to check who it was by the small camera, blinking in surprise when she noticed it was no one else but her aunt Martha in her long flowery Janis Joplin esque dress, “Hey auntie.” she says to the phone, making Martha look down at the small camera and then lean closer, offering her niece a smile.

“Hello preziosa. Would you mind opening the door for me? I see your doggy is very interested in knowing who it is.”

“Oh my God, yeah, sure auntie!” Beatrice pushes everything aside, rushing to stand on her feet, rushing back inside and smiling at Jolene’s wagging tail and head partially hidden by the white curtains that covered the windows on each side of the front door, very similar from back at her old place.

Beatrice snatches the key from the magnetic shelf, unlocking the door and opening it…only to find her aunt wasn’t there. She blinks, leaning her body forward - Jolene doing the same - until she finds her aunt Martha looking at the plants that adorned the front of her house, “Auntie?” Martha gently lifts up her head, still caressing the leaf with one hand and Jolene with the other.

“Your front garden is beautiful, Beatrice.” she says, “Lovely Russian sage, it’s great under the heat and humidity.”

Beatrice follows her aunt’s gaze to the said plant, she had no idea that’s what it was called and maybe she should take some time learning about them, “Oh, ah, thank you auntie I just…water them…” which she does, is all that she does so they don’t die. “Do you want to come inside? It’s quite warm today.”

It was nearing 81°F that day and Beatrice drank at least three bottles of ice water since she woke up, “Oh it is. It’s a lovely weather.” and her aunt didn’t move, she could see the couple from across the street - Ryan and Henry - walking their doberman puppy. They rose their hands as a greeting, then furrowed their eyebrows at the strange lady in front of Beatrice’s door.

Beatrice offered them an awkward smile and a wave back, mouthing the word ‘family’ the best she could and ended with a shrug. The two men didn’t seem too bothered after that, they just laughed and walked into their house. Meanwhile Beatrice’s smile dropped, turning her eyes to her aunt who was now leaning her head back with her eyes closed and a serene smile on her face, “Auntie.” she calls, even Jolene looks up in confusion when she stops being scratched by the older woman.

Martha opens her eyes, long natural lashes fluttering as she does so, “Would you like to go shopping with me?” her niece just blinks in surprise, “I must buy something for Leonardo’s new baby.” 

“Oh! Um…okay?” Beatrice laughs softly, “I’ll just put on a clean shirt, this is old and kinda dirty.” her aunt just nods, waving her hand so delicately Beatrice thought it was flying like a butterfly’s wings. The brunette looks to the side, furrows her brows, then goes back into her house, Jolene remains at her aunt’s side as her owner walks up the stairs to change into something better. 

She puts on a white tank top and ripped jeans, with her faithful black converse on her feet. She makes her way back down, her aunt was now sitting on the front steps of her house with Jolene next to her, offering her pink tummy to be petted. Beatrice smiles, putting on her sunglasses and fixing her bag strap, “I’m back.”

Martha looks over her shoulder with a smile, “Good.” she stands with a grace that resembles a fawn in the forest, her long dress flowing with the wind as she walks down the steps,”Perhaps we can use your car, I came here by bike.”

Again? How’s her aunt doing that so often and still keeping her legs healed is a mystery, “Sure auntie, Jojo, back inside.” the pittie rolls back on her feet, receiving a love pat on her butt from Bea, turning around and kissing the brunette’s cheek before she rushes inside the house. Beatrice sighs, locking the door after putting her aunt’s bicycle inside and walking to her Jeep that was parked outside since she was planning on getting something for Leo either w– did her aunt know? How did her aunt know? She didn’t tell anyone.

Beatrice decided to freak out later and imagine this was just a huge coincidence nothing more. Martha waits patiently, watching Beatrice unlock the car then walk to the passenger side to open the door for her aunt, “You are so kind, dear.” Martha smiles, kissing her niece’s forehead, lifting the end of her dress so she could step inside the Wrangler without issue. Once she’s inside, Beatrice walks around it to the driver’s, giving her aunt a grin once she latches the seatbelt on, “Your car is lovely as is your home.”

“Thank you auntie,” Bea says, looking at the rear view mirror as she reversed the car, “Gabby helped us find it.”

“Well, she did a wonderful job.” Martha looks out of the window when her niece drives up to the road, “I think that store…Littlesnaps has some wonderful options.” 

“Littlesnaps?” Beatrice repeats, turning her street and onto the road, “It’s close to the vet clinic I take Jolene.” she makes the way in her mind, not using the gps since it was a place she knew well from the very few times she took the pittie there, “I’ve seen it by passing, it seems really nice.”

“Yes, little Éowyn needs a good wardrobe.”

“Oh my God he really went through with it.” Beatrice laughs, paying attention to the signs around her, “God bless Cynthia, she loves him so much to endure his silliness.” but she was happy, and she was sure so was Bianca. Having another girl in the house would be good for her…and nerve wracking for Leo who would be extremely outnumbered in that house.  Her aunt just gives her niece a look, followed by a knowing smile before she returns her gaze to the outside, watching the palm trees go by.

They finally reach the store after a few seconds stuck in traffic, Beatrice walking out first and looking at her aunt to make sure she was right behind. Martha’s smile only remained, offering her niece her elbow - which she took it- as the two wandered inside. It was a big store, much like the one at the mall, with two floors and long aisles filled with kids’ clothes separated by ages. Since Éowyn was a little infant, they went to the 0+ area. 

Beatrice stood next to her aunt as she looked through the different options, “Are you excited to be an aunt again, Beatrice?” her aunt asked while trifling through the different colored onesies.

“I am,” she replies, the brunette going to the two piece hanging on top of each other “It’ll be nice to have another baby in the family, it has been a while.”

She didn’t see her aunt’s shifty look her way, nor the way her eyes dropped to her stomach then back up to her niece’s face, “I feel it’ll be a good year for the third generation.” she says cryptically, making Beatrice laugh and turn to face her aunt.

“Oh? More people are having babies,auntie?”

Martha’s eyes shone with something, joy or wonder or magic. Who knew really, “Yes.” is all that she said before she held up the koala themed onesie for her niece to see. Beatrice’s eyebrows furrowed just a bit at her aunt’s words, but she disconsidered, only adding how it was a lovely outfit for the baby.

They spent a few minutes there, and Martha wanted to give the baby options. Options her parents would make her wear but her niece didn’t stop her, Beatrice herself got a few outfits too.Once at the cashier, both women waited for the clothes to be gift wrapped, Martha’s eyes once again moving to Beatrice who, this time, met her aunt’s gaze, “What?” she questions with a smile, “What’s happening auntie?”

Martha’s eyes stayed on her, her smile widening as clasps her hands together “...are you and Bradley thinking about having kids?” Beatrice almost choked on her spit, her face flaming up to the point it resembled lava. 

“Wh-No!” but her traitorous brain whispered ‘but you’d love to’ “No,n-no we are not-not thinking about it.” yet.

“Mm.” Martha says, dropping her eyes back down at her niece’s stomach, “It’ll come in time.” she says softly.

“In time?” Beatrice repeats, still flaming at the face, “Well yes but–”

“October.”

Beatrice immediately shuts up, looking at her aunt with wide eyes, “W-What?”

“October will be a good month for you.” Martha grins, “A lot will happen.” What is that supposed to mean? Beatrice could only look at her aunt with wide eyes, chewing her lower lip and furrowing her brows, “Yes, then…oh how lovely. Same month.”  what the hell, what is up with her family members being cryptic??? “Yes,oh, how fun. How lovely.”

“Auntie…I-I don’t know what you mean.” she whispers when the lady comes back with their wrapped gifts, thanking the two women who walk out of the store with Martha holding Beatrice’s arm around her elbow again.

“You will, in time.” once again, more riddle-esque replies. Beatrice frowns, biting her lower lip even harder and unlocking the car for her aunt to step in first, “It’ll be wonderful for you. I’ll help you if you need to.”

“...thanks? With what exactly?”

Martha just squinted her eyes humorously, “You’ll see.”

–

But Beatrice took a good chunk of that conversation out, just adding some…random stuff she knew her aunt would say to Bradley instead of the actual subject, “But yeah, that was what happened.”

Her boyfriend’s face on the other end went confused, but he smiles “I mean, you always said your aunt was a bit of a witch.”

“Haha, yeah,” god that laugh was so nervous, “But, s-she’s a good witch, you know?”

“I know.” Bradley’s smile drops when he looks at the time on his watch, “Shit,I have to go, gorgeous.” Beatrice tried to not show disappointment, but her sad little smile made his heart clench, “I’ll talk to you soon again, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll have my phone with me whenever you message.” she says sweetly, “I love you!”

Rooster smiles, his eyes shining even in the bad connection, “I love you too, angel.Just a few more months, still counting the days?”

‘Always.”

His smile widened, “Me too.” He looked over his shoulder, someone probably called him and then turned back to the camera “I have to go, baby. I love you, we’ll talk soon okay?” she nodded, waving him goodbye and watching as the connection cut off and the only thing she could see was her own reflection.

Beatrice sat there in silence, inhaling deeply before she dropped her head to the table with a pained groan. First the disembodied children's voices, then her aunt saying…that…she groans louder, hitting her forehead on the wood gently, the sound calling Jolene’s attention who walked into the kitchen with her head tilted, “I think I need a drink Jojo.” she pauses, “Or several.”

[bisadiemccarthy]

"This sounds so cheesy, but be my Valentine?" "It's March." for Ronon/Jen

This prompt made me laugh out loud so I just had to start with it. Set in the canon timeline but no specific episode tag

Jennifer is fighting the losing battle of trying to keep the latest research-worthy medical records organized the way she likes them when Ronon ducks into her back corner of the infirmary, dropping two chocolate bars in front of her. Her interest is instantly piqued, because those never cease to be a hot commodity, even during the weeks when things are calm enough that they can come back and forth from Earth. The two he’s offering are cookies ‘n’ cream and a 70% cacao dark, and her mouth begins to water.

“Jen.” Ronon is holding out a bouquet of daffodils and some smaller white and yellow flower she doesn’t recognize, and he has an adorable befuddled look on his face. “This sounds so… cheesy, but, uh. Be my Valentine?”

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, caught off guard by the amount of Earth slang happening. “Um. It’s March?”

“So?”

Jen has a sneaking suspicion Ronon has not grasped the entire concept of Valentines. She tries to tread carefully, not wanting her explanation to come out as a rejection. “Well, Ronon, Valentine’s Day is, like, a specific holiday. In February. It was a few weeks ago… remember when General O’Neill showed up and Colonel Carter put half a dozen marines on kitchen duty for asking why he was here?” Not that she blames the Colonel. She certainly wouldn’t care for military snooping if someone looked at her the way General O’Neill looked at Sam. Almost the way Ronon is staring at her now. Hm.

Ronon falters, the bouquet dipping as he lowers his outstretched arm. “Oh. I’m late, then. Sorry. Sheppard, uh, made it sound like a less specific form of courting, like it was just about being dramatic about showing interest in someone.” He meets her eyes, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “I thought you might like dramatic.”

Jen feels her cheeks heat at the idea of him thinking about how to impress her. "That's so sweet of you," she says, her voice cracking. She steps out from around the desk to take the flowers from him. "I'll get some water for these..." she ends up filling a beaker to temporarily put them in, but it's the best she has right now. "Thank you so much Ronon, I-- you didn't have to do that."

His face falls. "You're not interested."

"No! I mean, yes!" Jen buries her face in her hands. "Yes, Ronon, I'm interested. I've just... never had someone go to this much trouble for me. The chocolate is insane, and the flowers too, I mean, gosh, where did they come from?"

Ronon shrugs. "Some from the botanists, some were native wildflowers Teyla helped me find. I picked all yellow ones 'cause it's so dreary down here." He looks around. "No offense."

Jennifer licks her lips, her mouth feeling dry. Taking a chance, she steps closer and wraps her arms around his neck, even though she has to go up on her toes to do so. "I love them, Ronon," she says. "I definitely like you dramatic. But I-- I like you normal, too."

His eyes might as well be staring into her soul. "Dramatic is more fun." And then he leans down and kisses her so intensely that she doesn't even have the breath to gasp in surprise.

The kiss is insane. She's never felt anything like it. She understands now why romance novels are so fond of the term 'mind blowing'. She dearly hopes nobody gets injured in the next, like, hour, because she's going to need more than a minute to recover, or even better, to keep kissing Ronon. And the he slides his hands down to her butt and bites her lip and her mind just goes blank.

When they part, Jen closes her eyes for a minute, her head spinning. "Holy crap," she breathes.

Ronon strokes two knuckles down the line of her jaw. "You okay?"

"More than," Jen answers, sure she's grinning like an idiot as she looks up at him. "Um. Do you wanna... go for a walk?"

"Absolutely," he agrees. "I just want to spend time with you. Whatever you want to do."

"Well, you took away most of my brilliant ideas with all that kissing," she says, giggling a little, "but getting out of here seems like a good first step."

Ronon slides an arm around her waist, his hand dipping into the back pocket of her uniform pants. "Lead the way."

[exhuastedpigeon]

This will be a surprise for me since I just choose numbers but…

All of the even numbers from 60-70 :)

Hi Tanis!

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like? I have and every time it happens I do a little dance and then freak out a little because holy shit they read my fic. I remember the first time it happened I was probably 22 and I was just like... WAIT NO DON'T READ THAT IT'S GARBAGE AND YOU WRITE MICHELIN STAR FIC!

But then I calmed down and now that person is one of my dearest friends.

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers? Love to write them, love to read them, hate waiting for the update after 😂😂

64. Something you love to see in smut. Emotional connection? Reading smut with feelings is one of my favourite things.

Also nipples 😂

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Answered here

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration? If I'm really stuck and need inspiration I turn my computer off and go do something. Sometimes a little walk helps, sometimes I need to fully shift my brain onto something else for hours so I'll do an activity or hang out with friends.

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write? When I'm working on something original I'm enthusiastic but most people in my day-to-day life don't know I write fic and I want to keep it that way.

Get to know your fic writer!

[bitterkarmaa]

Master-list of completed shorts

1. “Do you remember when-“ “Oh, I definitely remember.” [BEING WRITTEN]

3. “You’re wrong. So just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong” [BEING WRITTEN]

4. “It’s too early for you to be so peppy.” [BEING WRITTEN]

5. “......you look like you just saw a ghost.” (KB Eclipse & Lord Eclipse)

6. “I... I can’t believe it’s really you. I thought I’d never see you again.”

7. “Alright, I tried to warn you, but fine. We’ll do this your way.” [BEING WRITTEN]

8. “Hey! Why’d you stop?!”

9. “...when are you coming home?” (Eclipse, Blood Moon, Killcode)

10. “I can almost hear you pouting.” [BEING WRITTEN]

12. “You’re such a scumbag!”

13. “When is this going to get easier?” (Eclipse & Moon)

14. “You lied!” “I didn’t lie, I omitted. There’s a difference.”

15. “Everyday, I contemplate ending this. But....” “....but what?” [BEING WRITTEN]

20. “Nobody touch me! Except you, you can touch me.” (Blood Moon & Eclipse)

21. “Fine, but I’m only doing this for you.” (Lunar & Eclipse)

22. “Don’t be greedy.” (Veil)

23. “You’re not allowed to be gone for a whole week ever again.” (Eclipse & Blood Moon)

24. “I’ll protect you, with my life if necessary.” (Eclipse & Killcode)

25. “What kind of psychopath has 1,273 unread emails?” (Moon & Eclipse)

26. “You’re gonna have a really hard time topping this apology next time we fight.”

27. “What was your first impression of me?” [BEING WRITTEN]

28. “Shhh! You’re gonna get us caught!” (Eclipse & Blood Moon)

29. “I can’t believe I thought you were a good person. Congratulations, you’ve proven me wrong.”

32. “Oooh, seems like I’ve struck a nerve.” [BEING WRITTEN]

36. “I’m so sick of waking up like this.” (Eclipse & Blood Moon)

37. “I can’t leave with you crying like this.” (Rays & Veil)

38. “Of course I’m scared, but I’m also excited.” (Eclipse & Rays)

39. “If this was the last time we ever spoke, what would you want me to know?”

40. “I’m not going to apologize just because that’s what you want to hear.” (Sun & Eclipse)

41. “Just close your eyes. I will still be here when you open them again.” [BEING WRITTEN]

42. “I’d come for you. No matter what, when you need me, I will be there.”

43. “Can you walk?”

44. “This is not who you are. I know you better than that.”

46. “You can hold my hand.”

47. “The nightmares are just an illusion. I’m really here.”

48. “Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me.”

49. “It’s okay to be afraid sometimes.”

50. “You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

51. “It’s alright. I’m not going to let go.” [BRING WRITTEN]

52. “If you don’t know where to go, you can always come here.”

53. “You can go to sleep now. I will keep watch.”

54. “Hey, listen to me. You’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

55. “I want you to know that it’s okay to cry.”

56. “Take all the time you need.”

57. “Just look at me. Forget everything else.”

58. “They won’t take you away from me ever again.”

59. “You need to keep your eyes open. Just a little longer.”

60. “I’m going to ask you how you are and I would like you to answer me honestly.” [BEING WRITTEN]

61. “Could you hold me? Please.” (Eclipse & Veil)

62. “Nothing I’ll say will make it go away, but maybe I can make it a bit better.”

63. “Silly of you to think, you would have to do this alone.”

65. “After a while, it will get easier.”

66. “I will always watch over you.”

67. “Remember that I promise I made?”

68. “I would like to hold onto you a while longer.”

69. “You don’t have to say anything, I’ll do the talking.”

70. “Don’t look down. I’ve got you.”

71. “What did I do wrong!?”

72. “Come here, you look cold..”

73. “WAIT- I can do BETTER!”

74. “You can’t leave me yet! I still need you!” [BEING WRITTEN]

75. “W-Whose blood is that…”

76. “I don’t feel so good..”

77. “Sit still! And let me wrap the wound!”

78. “I’ll come back- I promise..”

79. “You’re hurt.”

80. “It’s me! It’s me! J-Just calm down!”

81. “I haven’t been hugged in years.”

82. “You’re pathetic.”

83. “If you pass out, I’m not going to catch you.”

84. “I can’t move.”

85. “Why are you still up? ITS 3AM-”

86. “No. I’m not a mad scientist. I’m just insane.”

87. “Hate to break it to you, but I’m still alive.”

88. “Management called. They want their idiot back. ”