#i just really think that spirited away is a perfect film

[soulcandi]

𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑲 𝑶𝑭 𝑴𝑬 | 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭

synopsis: dalton doesn't have the guts to make a move on the cute sorority girl that he's been stalking since orientation, but the demonic entity constantly peering over his shoulder does.

warnings: probs 17+ (just to be careful), stalking, obsessive behavior, paranormal type-shit, reader is stupid and also hot (think jennifer from that scene in jennifer's body where she's flirting with the band), the smallest hint of somnophilia, demonic possession, identity theft (lol), extremely dubious consent, dalton is definitely a little ooc, written with afab!reader in mind, y/n gets referred to as a girl.

a/n: title ripped from the ghost song. i love me some goth masked men. forgot the name of the frat so i just made one up. also, i just imagined a random dark spirit possessing his body, not the one explicitly shown in the film. but you guys do whatever you want. also, this is probably really cringy. I wrote most of it on 🍃 and didn't bother to proofread.

word count: 2078

Dalton’s favorite hobby was a tricky thing. How could he bring himself to tell Chris or anyone else in his life that the first thing he wanted to do after a long day of classes was shut off all of the lights in his dorm and count back from ten until his spirit was standing over your bed, watching you sleep?

How could he ever come up with an answer for how he somehow knew every last intimate detail about you despite never having spoken to you a single day in his life?

The easiest solution was to keep his hobby a dirty little secret right up until he graduated and moved a million miles away from campus. It’s not like he could ever look you in the eye anyway—the cute little sorority girl who approached him shyly during orientation and asked him to help carry a mini-fridge up the staircase of the Kappa Delta house. You were all glitter and smiles and infectious laughter and ignoring you was like trying to ignore sunlight. It just wasn’t done. 

Dalton hadn’t smiled since long before the funeral, but you coaxed one from his lips like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was impossible for him to up and forget something like that, especially when, as he went to wipe the sweat from his clammy palms, there was pink glitter plastered across the lap of his jeans. You effortlessly infiltrated every aspect of his life, pumping through his veins like some drug he couldn’t name. His entire world revolved around you and the best part about it was that you didn’t have the faintest clue.

Watching you was more of an addiction than a hobby to Dalton. Not in person, god. Never. The last thing he ever wanted to do was freak you out—to scare you. But what was the harm in flinging his backpack across the floor, shutting off all the lights, and letting his spirit travel to your room on the second floor of the Kappa Delta sorority house? He wasn’t hurting anyone by sitting on the corner of your bed while you flipped through your homework booklets and nibbled on the tips of your perfectly polished fingernails. 

Dalton’s favorite moments were when he caught you in deep sleep, tossing and turning in one of those silky little numbers that he instantly grew to love. You had them in every color, alternating throughout the week. They hugged you in such a dangerously perfect way, riding up over your plush thighs as you mumbled under a thick blanket of dreams. He made a home for himself in the furry pink armchair across from your bed (when it wasn’t stacked high with laundry, that is), treating himself by watching you breathe. It was mesmerizing how the fabric would ripple across your body while your chest rose and fell with each shallow breath.

It only took a few days for that guilty pleasure to bleed into his weekly routine. Dalton only realized things were starting to get out of hand when he found himself drawing you. 

Doodles on the corners of his syllabi turned into sketches in his notebook, which eventually turned into 24x30 charcoal portraits that took up most of the wall space in his dorm room. Art was his second nature and as soon as he returned from one of his nightly haunts, he was powerless to control the charcoal nub that somehow found its way into his hand. Dalton had to immortalize you on paper. Otherwise, he would have no choice but you seek you out in the dead of night over and over again until your image was burned into the back of his eyelids. 

A full week after he first saw you during freshman orientation—informative sorority flyers stacked tall in your arms, barely hiding the Greek letters stamped across the front of your cropped shirt—he turned in his very first sketch of you for an art critique. Professor Amagan was pleasantly surprised by his change in subject matter. Goodbye bloody red door, hello sleeping beauty. 

She had wanted to pin it up in the showcase at the front of the arts building but the thought of you ever stumbling upon it made a fiery hot wave of mortification spill over Dalton’s entire body. What would you even say to a lifesize portrait of your own sleeping body drawn by someone you’ve never spoken to before? He would count himself lucky if he wasn’t expelled on the spot.

Dalton hastily accepted his passing grade and shoved the charcoal drawing to the very bottom of his portfolio, never to see the light of day again. Unless, of course, he was cram-studying for midterms and couldn’t afford the time to go and visit you. In this instance, he would lock his door and prop you up beside his desk to steal quick glances at while he worked. But it never sated that itch inside of him—the one that reared its head when he caught the faintest ribbons of your perfume in the air as he marched through the courtyard with his head down. 

Dalton wasn’t proud of himself. Not for this, anyway. White hot shame burned at his heart whenever he caught your eye from across the dining hall or the library by accident. You were forbidden fruit on campus—the sweetheart of the most powerful fraternity and the stuff of everyone’s dreams besides. He should have felt forever guilty for stealing your private moments for his own pleasure. But fuck if you didn’t make it so hard for him to quit. 

Tonight, like every other night this week, Dalton flicked off his bedside lamp and yanked the nightlight out of the wall, plunging the room into thick and heavy blackness. He counted back from ten until he no longer felt the weight of his physical body holding him down, then blinked his eyes open to see a world illuminated with an otherworldly faint blue light. 

The walk to sorority row only ever felt like seconds. The spirit realm was like a highway in that sense. He slipped through the front door of the Kappa Delta house like a ghost. He was a ghost. And you were his all-time favorite haunt. 

You were already asleep when he crept to the door at the end of the hallway with your name plastered across the frame in glittery bubble letters. You always went to sleep with your desktop lava lamp flipped on. It painted your face in a warm glow as you slept and Dalton couldn’t help but wonder if maybe you were just as afraid of the dark as he was. The thought coaxed a pleasant shiver down his spine. Maybe you were just waiting for someone like him to come around and tear that fear to shreds. 

Your face was buried in your arms, one leg hiked up to your waist over the sheets. A massive sleepshirt clung to your frame, slipping off of one shoulder just enough to highlight the fact that you weren’t wearing anything underneath. 

Dalton bristled at the sound of something soft and light floating through the air and reached down to pull the pair of boxy headphones off of your ears, cupping one side close to his face.

♫ “In the silence of your room, In the darkness of your dreams, you must only think of me, there can be no in-between.” ♫

You rolled over, limbs twitching with a sleepy moan as you subconsciously turned your back to the light. Dalton shook his head with a quiet chuckle, folding the headphones and setting them down on your bedside table. You shouldn’t go to sleep with your music so loud, he silently chastised you. It wasn’t good for you. But he honestly would have said anything to make this feel right—to relieve himself of even just an ounce of the guilt he felt for standing there above you in your most vulnerable state. 

He liked to think that you felt him there watching over you like some sick and twisted guardian angel. Maybe you actually took notice of all of the little things that he did for you when you weren’t even aware that he was in the room. Killing spiders, plugging in your phone when you were too sleepy to do it yourself, hiding contraband before the Kappa chapter president barged for a room sweep. 

Dalton didn’t want to believe that someone could be so effortlessly and unknowingly perfect every single moment of their life. But here you were, leaning into his touch when he failed to fight the urge to stroke your jaw with the edge of his knuckle. A shaky breath shivered past his lips in response to your sleepy exhale. 

You were so pliant. So defenseless. Swallowing thickly, Dalton took his opposite hand and brushed a flat palm over your exposed thigh, watching with sick fascination as goosebumps rose across your flesh in the wake of his gentle touches. He simply couldn’t help himself, only flinching when your face screwed up in that adorable way that it always did when someone dared to deny you of something you wanted. 

Dalton paused with his hand outstretched toward your body, a sudden tidal wave of realization washing over him. God, I am such a creep.

 “Jesus Christ,” he whispered before realizing he’d spoken out loud and slapping a hand over his own mouth. He never knew if you could hear him when he passed between the realms like this, but just to be sure he always made a point of never saying anything until he was back in his own body. 

You shifted again, pulling the blanket up over your chin to ward off the sudden chill that crept into your room. 

What am I doing? 

I need to get the hell out of here.

Dalton never considered quitting his little addiction cold turkey. But whatever spell you had put on him for the last few months had finally run its course and he was going to take back whatever semblance of dignity he could before it was too late. 

The walk back to his dorm felt decades-long and he took the time to mull over everything in his head, searching for any way to make himself feel right about this. But it was hard to do anything other than mourn the loss of what had quickly become his saving grace while he navigated this new phase of his life. Portals and demons meant nothing to him as long as he could watch you sleep, knowing that he would be there to ward off anything that tried to hurt you. 

Dalton stopped dead in his tracks outside his door. It had slid open with ease but the tension in the air was so thick that the thought of crossing the threshold made his blood run cold. His body was there, right in the corner where he left it earlier that night. 

Only…hadn’t he been lying down in bed when he left to visit you? Why was his body now halfway across the room? And why was it moving?

“What the fuck?” he breathed, drawing out each syllable as he watched it blink. The eyes of his physical body shifted to an inky black for just a split second—he saw it—before they melted right back to blue. Dalton watched frozen in the doorway as the entity inhabiting his body glanced down to inspect the hands of its new vessel, turning them over to study his palms before squeezing them into tight fists. 

Satisfied, its gaze fell to the doorway where he stood in spirit. It couldn’t see him, not truly. But it could still smell the horror oozing from him through the hole he had torn between the realms. 

“Hey!” Dalton barked, but his voice was an echo that barely reached his own ears. It bounced off of the empty space all around him. The demon compelled his body forward, walking to the mirror on the other side of the dorm and leaning all of its weight against the glass. “That’s—hey!”

It combed a hand through its hair—his hair—and ran a slack hand over the bottom half of its face. An inhuman smirk grew over its lips and Dalton shivered as it made direct eye contact with him through the mirror, testing his voice like it had gone eons without a set of lungs to force its words through. 

“You’re pathetic.”

[shywritersblog]

Here are 100 random quotes from Beelzebub!

Sourced from the OM! Wiki, chats, devilgram, screenshots I found, etc. I made this list to help with studying to write the characters in character. (Not really proofread, sorry if there are mistakes. Also, there may be spoilers. If so, they're minor spoilers)

✧༺⚜️༻✧

“You look tasty.”

“*sniff* *sniff* You smell good.”

“I'm fine. I'm sure it'll go away. It's nothing new. Whenever Belphie gets sad, I get sad, too. That's probably what's happening now.”

“ Sorry, that was a really strange question to ask, wasn't it? Forget I said anything.”

“Cool, this works.”

“Huh? This is an interesting feeling. I'm finding it hard to relax.”

“I'm hungry, but I feel like another part of me is full.”

“It looks like someone's having fun. I'm glad.”

“So. hungry... You look delicious.”

“That tickles.”

“You are what you eat. You know what that means, right?”

“You can touch me. I don't mind.”

“Yeah. Tie it nice and tight, okay?”

“Standing watch at the gates means being ready for anything. So, I'm going to do some combat training like this.”

“Oh, hey. Perfect timing. I was hoping you'd spar with me.”

“I want to poke his cheek, too…”

“..This feels..really close, huh?”

“It's all because of the custard.”

“That's the spirit! Nice form, MC.”

“Great! You did it, MC! Not many people get it on their first try. That was amazing.”

“The light's turning the sea orange. It's like waves of delicious orange juice are rolling onto the beach.”

“Can I hold your hand...?”

“I don't know... Either way, I'm heading to the kitchen.”

“…I take it this means we're heading for something much more intimate than just partners in crime… One thing's for sure, MC... You and I are going to be amazing together.”

“I want you to film me while working out. If my form's not right, I won't be able to work the right muscle groups the way I want to. It shouldn't be tough getting here. Just ask somebody out on the street for directions.”

“I'm not constantly eating all the time. I'm only constantly eating sometimes. There's a big difference.”

“It said that in the human world, lovers who don't kiss at least once a day are destined to break up. Is that true?”

“I'm glad you mentioned something besides how much I eat. Thanks.”

“But there's no way that I'lI ever forget what you did for me then. And if you or MC are ever in trouble, I'll be there for you. Next time, l'll be the one saving you.”

“I'II protect you if something happens. Don't worry.”

“If that will make you smile… Heh, good. You smiled. I want to see your smile more. I would do anything if it means I get to see you smile like that.”

“Were you lonely? Don't be mad.”

“My face feels like it's on fire. I hope I can cool down before we get to class.”

“I’m going to take you as my hostage, MC. I don't want the Fallen Angel's Tear anymore. I've decided to rob you of MC here instead.”

“Take care, MC. We'll meet again...before my stomach growls.”

“Could I nibble on you just a bit? Just a taste.”

“What's that? Some sort of dessert?”

“The more I think about it, the more I start drooling.”

“The cookies I was saving in my pocket for later... All that's left are crumbs.”

“That explosion sent whipped cream flying everywhere. It's all over you too, MC. You're covered in it from head to toe. ...Which actually makes you look even more delicious than you did before. I was trying so hard to resist the urge to nibble. But now that I see you standing in front of me covered in delicious whipped cream, I... I…”

“It's just too much to handle! First things first, we've got to do something about all of the whipped cream you've got on you. Otherwise there's no telling when I might lose control and just...”

“Your lips? MC, it almost sounds like you want me to give in to these urges... Still, your lips look so soft... How can I say no? ..See? I knew it. They are soft. And sweet. It makes it really hard to stop. It's like...I can't get enough of you…”

“…Sorry. I was trying to stop you from falling…but we both ended up falling.”

“Are you comforting me..with a kiss on my cheek? Thank you, MC.”

“…I admit it. I'm jealous of the people who get close to you, MC.”

“This is so embarrassing.”

“You're so weird. But, thanks.”

“My feelings are still a mess... Can I hold you, MC?”

“You know, I was just thinking I was hungry. Come here, l'm going to take a few bites out of you two.”

“‘Do not eat’… It says ‘Do not eat.’ ‘Do not eat’…That's what it says...

“Don't blame me if the contents of these pages keep you up at night.”

“*gulp*... Whoops. I may have just, um...eaten that entire book…”

“You really are... Hm. I don't know how to say it. Mysterious? Strange? Incredible?”

“Do you want to sleep next to me? Not that I mind. But if there's something else you want, don't hesitate to say so.”

“Fun? No, no time for fun. This is about getting candy. This is war.”

“I… can't take it anymore. This is your fault. Your blood smells so good... Too good...”

“You want me to feed you? It's really sweet. Here... *munch* Oh, whoops. I didn't mean to eat that. Let me try again... Don't pout, I'lI be careful this time.”

“Pancakes!”

“Check out those buns!”

“I've put him in a sleeping bag for easy transport, so someone else can drag him along.”

“Yeah. He's just lost faith in humanity more than usual, that's all.”

“…You're so warm--inside and out.”

“He fell asleep hanging from the bar...? That's some grip.”

“Qu-Quit it, MC! Th-That tickles...! Hahaha! Stop…! Okay...okay. I promise to stop tickling you. Just no more tickling me back, please!”

“It's a little embarrassing holding you this close. You can probably hear my heart beating. But, it does make me feel happy.”

“It's really nice to see that my workouts are paying off. And now you can count on me to carry even heavier stuff. It'll be good training.”

“I'm working out in my room right now. Something welled up within me, and I got the sudden energy to lift 10 times as hard. I can't do all the stuff I want to unless I have a spotter, though. That's why I want you to come here and be my workout partner. Oh yeah, I'll be hungry from lifting, so can you bring some food with you as well?”

“...I don't know what happened in there, but whatever it was really messed with Belphie... I'm not letting that thing get away with this.”

“You bet. I'm going to destroy that bogeyman.”

“When push comes to shove, I know they've always got my back. My family is what drives me. Wanting to keep them safe makes me strong. I'm going to have to work harder at protecting them from here on out.”

“Hup...! Hah! ...Heads up!”

“You'll always be the only one on my mind. ...Okay, you and tasty treats.”

“You sure have been paying attention, huh? I'm always looking at you, too. But, now l'll be watching you even more, so that I can draw you from memory.”

“Use my power, MC. My power is yours to command. Everything I do, do for you and for Belphie! Evil spirit, sinister and foul! In the name of Beelzebub, Avatar of Gluttony ...be gone!”

“It's strange. Normally when I'm hungry, I'd be going into a rampage right now.”

“Calm down, Levi. That cake just fell into my mouth by accident, that's—“

“You're the only one who will always have my attention, MC, now and forever.”

“Thank you. This candy tastes like the Destroyed Devil Burger I wanted but was sold out. Is this your way of letting me try it? You don't know how happy this makes me.”

“*munch* *nom* Sorry, I ate it before I could say thanks. It was great. I appreciate it.”

“Don't barge in on my mealtime.”

“I just might eat you from the head down. ...You don't seem that delicious though.”

“You don't want to see me angry. I'll just get even MORE hungry.”

“Was that an earthquake? Ah, nope. Just my stomach.”

“Aahh, this is taking too long... If I die from starvation it's your fault.”

“Geez, you left me so hungry I almost ate YOU.”

“Do that all you want. I'm not giving you my food.”

“Hm, that... felt pretty good.”

“It looks...mouth-watering.”

“And...I like how touching you makes my heart speed up.”

“I can't wait to dig into some freshly grilled meat!”

“Got you! Nope. I'm turning the tables on you. ...Tickle attack!”

“Ah... Ahahaha! Wait, I- Hahahaha! Come on, give it a res--Pfft! Ahahaha!”

“...I did some of my combat training blindfolded, actually. So, this kind of brings me back.”

“I thought so. You look good. I'll buy it for you… A matching look? I've never done that before, but why not?”

“This can't be happening...say it's not happening! I'm scared…..! Please…..don't go anywhere, MC... Please, I'm begging you, don't go...”

“…I think I've calmed down a bit. I feel a lot better with you in my arms. But...this isn't fair. I'd like to also see you getting jealous of people who get close to me. I wouldn't mind. I'd like to see that side of you too.”

“Oh, I know. If I sit next to you, then you won't feel so self-conscious, right? Hang on, try lying down on the bed. Okay, good.”

“You can't even throw a pillow far enough to reach me. You should give up before you hurt yourself.”

“Open your mouth then. Say "aah" Well? Tasty, right?”

“Don't stop, MC. Kiss me more…”

Extras! (It’s hard to pick just 100 y’know?)

1. “Were you waiting for the perfect time to kiss me? That's adorable. It's my turn next.”

2. “Belphie, you've got that dead look in your eyes again.”

3. “My feelings for you won't change, not even after a thousand years...no, a million years.”

4. “It's sort of like...you're more special to me. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? ...Up to now, I always felt like I was hungry for something. I'd eat and eat and eat, but I still wasn't satisfied, so I'd eat more. But when I'm with you, it's like that hunger is suddenly gone. For once I feel strangely satisfied.”

5. “I hope I'll always have you here by my side, just like I have them. From here until…..forever. No matter how I might change in the future.”

6. “When I feel you in my arms like this, it lets me know for sure that I really am alive.”

7. “Even though as a human, your life is a lot shorter than that of us demons. And yet you still tried to save me. ...That meant a lot to me.”

8. “Where do you think you're going? Whoa, I don't think so. I'm not letting you go anywhere.”

9. “It's all right, MC. Just listen to my voice, MC. Forget about everything else...”

✧༺⚜️༻✧

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒲𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 ༝༚༝༚

[looptroupe]

HI GORGEOUS!!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOUR WIPS AND AUS IM REALLY INTERESTED 🙏🙏🙏

Foams at the mouth

I’m in the middle of writing up a whole HC post for someone asking about a highschool AU but I’m gonna take this opportunity to sidetrack the conversation towards something I’d love to genuinely see from the series… a HEAVY (film) noir lean. Think: Bogart, Framed, Gilda, Vertigo… probably pushing the era back 40’s, 50’s way (Maybe even some 30’s lean in there, if I could get away with it) instead of the general 60’s vibe Lupin has going for it.

I think there’s a TON of potential there. I mean, I’m aware something like this was pitched (and never picked up, sigh…) so there IS sentiment there, and the idea has been thought about, but instead of TWCFM’s ‘serious Lupin’ I’d love to see a true noir ‘serious Lupin’. I think you can put these characters into a serious setting without making them straight up evil, and I’ll be honest, I think it would be way more appealing than the stuff they’ve been releasing lately (besides Zero. I have to admit that I loved Zero).

I’d want the gang to actually feel like criminals, though. Cutting shady deals in illegal bars, Lupin running his mouth to big players about whatever new heist he has up his sleeve. I’d take them back to being Miyazaki-esque ‘living paycheck-to-paycheck’ rather than ‘insta-rich Lupin funding his hedonistic spirit’ because I think that would work better in this universe: Lupin is constantly getting them in hot shit with the big leagues because he can’t keep his mouth shut. Jigen has shot ten guys this week who have come knocking at their hideout’s door looking for trouble. Goemon’s sick of digging graves and is antsy to finally be who he dreams of being. Fujiko’s got her eyes on a bigger prize, like always.

Zenigata’s an underpaid beat-cop-turned-inspector who has been trying to climb the ranks for a long while. He’s ambitious, but a little too soft for his own good: he’s hopeful in a way that most of the guys in his squad aren’t, and that makes him the perfect candidate for when the commissioner has to shill a shitty 9-5 case on an unsuspecting worker. A file lands on his desk, and he flips through it with this eager fire, like he’s just been asked to take on the world, and Lupin and his gang smile up at him from the pages.

Lupin is a crook, he learns. Part-time petty thief, full-time smooth-talker: a man with a legacy to live up to and not a whole lot to show for it besides a reputation as a lady-killer and a particularly long unpaid tab at the seediest bar in town. His sticky fingers have landed him in more trouble than they’ve gotten him out of, and recent reports say that he’s managed to get under the skin of the most notorious once-criminal-now-film-director in town… the very criminal that underhandedly paid Zenigata’s boss to start an official investigation in the first place.

Jigen is a gun-for-hire. Babysitter, bodyguard, hitman… whatever you need, he’ll do, however begrudgingly. He’s not a guy you mess with: and his reputation is actually pretty good in criminal circles. He’s well-respected and well-liked. Or, he was, until the monkey-faced man at the bar implicated him in a crime he didn’t commit. Now, he’s babysitting without pay, and he’s starting to get a little sick of having to put bullets into the faces of old friends who decide his bounty is worth more than his loyalty. Figures.

Goemon’s a man slightly-less-out-of-time. A famous Japanese-American film star, he’s known world-over for starring in Samurai flicks alongside his leading lady, Fujiko Mine. The thing is, Goemon is classically trained in swordslinging, and when Lupin offers him an opportunity to be the very person he’s been portraying on screen, he’s more than happy to throw his reputation away. He never cared much for fame, anyway. There’s just this one little hitch: he’s enamoured with the sword he last used on set, and he won’t take no for an answer when he asks Lupin to retrieve it for him.

Fujiko has her eyes on a prize a little more exciting than Zantetsuken: the film empire she’s helped build herself. The tabloids can’t get enough of her, and she knows that a marriage to the most famous director the world has ever seen might just secure her a place in history. The thing is, the man she’s trying her best to seduce has stopped paying her attention since his beloved priceless-antique-turned-prop-sword went missing, and she’s determined to get it back for him. Because what would make him fall quicker? Ah, there’s just one catch: Lupin is kind of charming, and the life he’s living is… exciting. Tempting. Fujiko likes playing with fire, but she’s starting to get a little too close to this one particular flame. The heat has her cheeks burning… Or maybe that’s Goemon’s doing.

They’re a strange little bunch, the Lupin Gang. But man, do people have a habit of underestimating them. Zenigata included. Because what he thinks to be a simple case of theft soon turns into something more sinister as the layers of movie-magic veneer begin to peel away. Maybe Lupin was onto something, targeting this guy, and maybe this hotshot director isn’t quite as reformed as he says he is.

He went to court recently, after all. Say, how much did he pay the judge to overturn that guilty verdict? Zenigata would like that sum as a pay rise once this has all blown over. That, and some fresh smokes.

((Mmm someone should hop on board and help me develop this I think. Could be a fun little exercise on the side… if it’s up anyone’s alley >:) ))

[sinclairstarz]

for the cinephile byler truthers. i made the party’s modern au letterboxd accounts

in my head mike wheeler is the film bro cinephile of the party. hes a big brad pitt fan and fincher is his favorite director if you even care.. dirty dancing would be in his top 4 if he was honest. he went to see dune cause hes a scifi nerd, ended up hating it so much and complained about it to will but still gave it 2 stars cause it was pretty. did leave a very mean review. very critical rater but mostly leaves high ratings because he just doesn’t watch things he doesnt wanna see.

alternative movies i considered putting: pulp fiction (5 stars), the killer (1 star), se7en (5 stars), across the spiderverse (5 stars), nope (5 stars) , the batman 2022 (4 stars), once upon a time in hollywood (5 stars), inglorious basterds (5 stars), the matrix (half a star)

the thing is so good and he has a poster of it on his wall in canon so it felt right. it just feels wrong not to do ghostbusters (plus its one of my favorite movies…) and yall need to hear me out on brokeback 😭😭😭 ur telling me he wouldnt bawl his eyes out??? ur wrong. will byers is a jake gyllenhaal lover. he watches dirty dancing a lot for mike, and loves ghibli movies a lot. he cried during rain man. honest rater but doesnt take it too seriously, mostly 4/5 star ratings

alternatives: saltburn (half a star), asteroid city (5 stars), blackkklansman (5 stars), the force awakens (3.5 stars), the perks of being a wallflower (4.5 stars), back to the future (5 stars)

rogue one because lucas has taste. its the best star wars movie, if u care. he would love how fun and goofy ghostbusters 2 is. in my head Wes Anderson is like the party’s claimed director and they all watch his movies together and do marathons because the weirdness, comedy, and emotional commentary is a perfect mix for them. so. bottle rocket. lucas’ favorite wes anderson is the grand budapest hotel if u wanted to know. he rates things pretty highly and isn’t super critical.

alternatives: dodgeball (5 stars), scream 5 (4 stars), the matrix (3 stars), good will hunting (5 stars), jurassic park (5 stars), die hard (5 stars),

likes making lucas watch gone girl on valentines day and telling him shes gonna do that to him next time he annoys her. v for vendetta is her favorite romance movie and shes a big marvel fan (in a cool way. kind of .) but thor ragnarok is probably one of her fav marvels, along with spiderman far from home and iron man. i just know she watches Casino Royale and decided she hated James Bond and then ended up watching all the Daniel Craig Bonds with Mike and loved Skyfall so much. the song is on her playlist and she did cry after No Time To Die.

Alternatives: Superbad (5 stars), baby driver (5 stars), bottoms (5 stars), 10 things i hate about you (3.5 stars), scream (5 stars), kill bill (5 stars), lord of the rings: the return of the king (1.5 stars)

also a bit of a film nerd. i considered giving him a star wars and i know in my heart he’d probably have empire somewhere in his top 4. but star wars is lame and i wanted to give him se7en so he fucking gets se7en. he knows john wick is objectively dumb but he doesnt care hes just here for a good time. the party probably watched saltburn together and all fucking hated it. I just know hes a kurosawa nerd and always goes when the local theatres do very rare special showings of his movies.

alternatives: baby driver (4 stars), the ewok adventure (5 stars) hot fuzz (5 stars) harry potter and the sorcerers stone (4 stars) legally blonde (5 stars) spirited away (5 stars) dazed and confused (5 stars)

she likes movies that make her feel all warm and fuzzy and hopeful. i wanted to give her breakfast club, but i think she’d honestly like sixteen candles more (even though breakfast club’s better). she cried at almost every movie in her top 4 and makes max rewatch juno with her like once a month. she gives most movies 5 stars unless she really hates them, and loves any movie thats fun to watch, even if its bad. she likes movies with pretty girls and fun colors.

alternatives: barbie (5 stars), legally blonde (5 stars), inception (2 stars), heathers (5 stars) pretty in pink (4.5 stars (she was mad andi didn’t end up with ducky)) my neighbor totoro (5 stars)

in conclusion if you haven’t seen They Cloned Tyron (2023) go watch it it deserved the oscar

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous ask: What do you think of the new Indiana Jones movie? And of Phoebe Waller-Bridge?

In a nutshell: From start to finish ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ is watching Indiana Jones being a broken-down shell of a once great legacy character who has to be saved by the perfect younger and snarky but stereotypical ’Strong Independent Woman’ that passes for women characters in popcorn movies today.

I went in to this film with conflicted feelings. On the one hand I was genuinely excited to see this new Indiana Jones movie because it’s Indiana Jones. Period. Yet, on the other hand I feared how badly Lucasfilm, under Kathleen Kennedy’s insipid woke inspired CEO studio direction, was going to further tarnish not just a screen legend but the legacy of both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. The cultural damage she has done to such a beloved franchise as the Star Wars universe in the name of progressive woke ideology is criminal. The troubled production history behind this film and its massive $300 million budget (by some estimates) meant Disney had a lot riding on it, especially with the future of Kathleen Kennedy on the line too as she was hands on with this film.

To me the Indiana Jones movies (well, the first three anyway, the less we say about ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ the better) were an important part of my childhood. I fell in love with the character instantly. Watching ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ (first on DVD in my boarding school dorm with other giggly girls and later on the big screen at a local arts cinema retrospective on Harrison Ford’s stellar career) just blew me away. 

As a girl I wanted to be an archaeologist and have high falutin’ adventures; I even volunteered in digs in Pakistan and India (the Indus civilisation) as well as museum work in China as a teen growing up in those countries and discovering the methodical and patient but back breaking reality of what archaeology really was. But that didn’t dampen my spirit. Just once I wanted to echo Dr. Jones, ‘This belongs in a museum!’ But I happily settled for studying Classics instead and enjoyed studying classical archaeology on the side.

I couldn’t quite make sense why Indiana Jones resonated with me more than any other action hero on the screen until much later in life. Looking like Harrison Ford certainly helps. But it’s more than that. I’ve written this elsewhere but it’s worth repeating here.

‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ is considered an inspiration for so many action films yet there’s a very odd aspect to the film that’s rather unique and rarely noticed by its critics and fans. It’s an element that, once spotted, is difficult to forget, and is perhaps inspiring for times like the one in which we currently live, when there are so many challenges to get through. Typically in action films, the hero faces an array of obstacles and setbacks, but largely solves one problem after another, completes one quest after another, defeats one villain after another, and enjoys one victory after another.

The structure of ‘Raiders’ is different. A quick reminder:

- In the opening sequence, Indiana Jones obtains the temple idol only to lose it to his rival René Belloq (Paul Freeman). - In the streets of Cairo, Indy fails to protect his love, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), from being captured (killed, he assumes). - In the desert, he finds the long-lost Ark of the Covenant, only to have it taken away by Belloq. - Indy then recovers the ark only to have it stolen a second time by Belloq, this time at sea. - On an island, Indy tries to bluff Belloq into thinking he’ll blow up the ark. His bluff fails. Indy is captured. - The climax of the film literally has its hero tied to a post the entire time. He’s completely ineffectual and helpless at a point in the movie where every other action hero is having their greatest moment of struggle and, typically, triumph.

If Indiana Jones had done absolutely nothing, if the famed archeologist had simply stayed home, the Nazis would have met the same fate - losing their lives to ark’s wrath because they opened it. It’s pretty rare in action films for the evil arch-villains to have the same outcome as if the hero had done nothing at all.

Indy does succeed in getting the ark back to America, of course, which is crucial. But then Indy loses the ark, once again, when government agents send it to a warehouse and refuse to let him study the object he chased the whole film. In other words: Indiana Jones spends ‘Raiders’ failing, getting beat up, and losing every artefact that he risks his life to acquire. And yet, Indiana Jones is considered a great hero.

The reason Indiana Jones is a hero isn’t because he wins. It’s because he never stops trying. I think this is the core of Indiana Jones’ character.

Critics will go on about something called agency as in being active or pro-active. But agency can be reactive and still be kinetic to propel the story along. It’s something that has progressively got lost as the series went on. With the latest Indiana Jones film I felt that Indiana Jones character had no agency and ends up being a relatively passive character. Sadly Indiana Jones ends up being a grouchy, broken, and beat up passenger in his own movie.

Released in 1981, ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ remains one of the most influential blockbusters of all time. Exciting action, exotic adventure, just the right amount of romance, good-natured humour, cutting-edge special effects: it was all there, perfectly balanced. Since then, attempts have been made to reproduce this winning recipe in different narrative contexts, sometimes successfully (’Temple of Doom’ and ‘the Last Crusade’), usually in vain (’Crystal Skull’).

What are the key ingredients of an Indiana Jones movie? There are only four core elements - leaving aside aspects of story such as the villain or the goal - that you need in place before anything else. They are: the wry, world-weary but sexy masculine performance of Harrison Ford; the story telling genius of George Lucas steeped in the lore of Saturday morning action hero television shows of the 1950s; the deft visual story telling and old school action direction of Steven Spielberg; and the sublime and sweeping music of the great John Williams. This what made the first three films really work.

In the latest Indiana Jones film, you only have one. Neither Lucas and Spielberg are there and arguably neither is Harrison Ford. John Williams’ music score remains imperious as ever. His music does a lot of heavy lifting in the film and let’s face it, his sublime music can polish any turd.

This isn’t to say the ‘Dial of Destiny’ is a turd. I won’t go that far, and to be honest some of the critical reaction has been over-hysterical. Instead I found it enjoyable but also immensely frustrating more than anything else. It had potential to be a great swan song film for Indy because it had an exciting collection of talent behind it.

In the absence of Spielberg, one couldn’t do worse than to pick James Mangold as next best to direct this film. Mangold is a great director. I am a fan of his body of work. After ‘Copland’, ‘Walk the Line’, ‘Logan’ and ‘Le Mans 66’ (or ‘Ford vs Ferrari’), James Mangold has been putting together a fine career shaped by his ability to deliver stories that rediscover a certain old-fashioned charm without abusing the historical figures - real or fictional - he tackles. And after Johnny Cash, Wolverine and Ken Miles, among others, I had high hopes he would keep the flame alive when it came to Indiana Jones. Mangold grew up as a fanboy of Spielberg’s work and you can clearly see that in his approach to directing film.

But in this film his direction lacks vitality. Mangold, while regularly really good, drags his feet a little here because he’s caught between putting his own stamp on the film and yet also lovingly pay homage to his hero, Spielberg. It’s as if he didn't dare give himself away completely, the director seems too modest to really take the saga by the scruff of the neck, and inevitably ends up suffering from the inevitable comparison with Steven Spielberg.

Mangold tries to recreate the nostalgic wonder of the originals, but doesn't quite succeed, while succumbing to an overkill of visual effects that make several passages seem artificial. The action set pieces range from pedestrian to barely satisfying. The prologue sequence was vaguely reminiscent of past films but it was still a little too reliant on CGI. The much talked about de-ageing of Harrison Ford on screen was impressive (and one suspects a lot of the film budget was sunk right there). But Indiana’s lifeless digitally de-aged avatar fighting on a computer-generated train, made the whole sequence feel like the Nazi Polar Express. Because it didn’t look real, there was no sense of danger and therefore no emotional investment from the audience. You know Tom Cruise would have done it for real and it would have looked properly cinematic and spectacular.

The tuk tuk chase through the narrow streets of Tangiers was again an exciting echo of past films, especially ‘Raiders’, but goes on a tad too long, but the exploration of the ship wreck (and a criminally underused cameo by Antonio Banderas) was disappointing and way too short. 

The main problem here is the lack of creativity in the conception of truly epic scenes, because these are not dependent on Ford's age. Indeed, the film could very well have offered exhilarating action sequences worthy of the archaeologist with the whip, without relying solely on the physicality of its leading man. You don't need a Tom Cruise to orchestrate great moments but you could do worse than to follow his example. 

Mangold uses various means of locomotion to move the character  - train, tuk tuk, motorbike, horse - and offers a few images that wouldn't necessarily be seen elsewhere (notably the shot of Jones riding a horse in the middle of the underground), but in the end shows himself to be rather uninspired, when the first three films in the saga conceived some of the most inventive sequences in the genre and left their mark on cinema history. There are no really long shots, no iconic compositions, no complex shots that last and enrich a sequence, which makes the film look too smooth and prevents it from giving heft to an adventure that absolutely needs it.

And so now to the divisive figure of Phoebe Waller-Bridge. 

It’s important here to separate the person from the character. I like Phoebe Waller-Bridge and I loved her in her ‘Fleabag’ series. She excels in a very British setting. I think she is funny, irreverent, and a whip smart talented writer and performer. I also think she has a particular frigid English beauty and poise about her. When I say poise I don’t mean the elegant poise of a Parisienne or a Milanese woman, but someone who is cute and comfortable in her own skin. You would think she would be more suited to ‘Downton Abbey’ setting than all out Hollywood action film. But I think she almost pulls it off here. 

In truth over the years Phoebe Waller-Bridge, known for her comedy, has been collecting franchises where she is able to inflict her saucy humour into a hyper-masculine space. I don’t think her talent was properly showcased here. 

Hollywood has this talent for plucking talented writers and actors who are exceptional in what they do and then hire them do something entirely different by either miscasting them or making them write in a different genre. I think Phoebe Waller-Bridge is exceptional and she might just rise if she is served by a better script.

In the end I think she does a decent stab at playing an intriguing character in Helena Shaw, Indy’s long lost and estranged god daughter and a sort of amoral rare artefacts hustler. Phoebe Waller-Bridge brings enthusiasm, charm and mischief to the role, making her a breath of fresh air. She seems to be the only member of the on-screen cast that looks to be enjoying themselves. 

To be fair her I thought Waller-Bridge was a more memorable and interesting female character than either Kate Capshaw (’Temple of Doom’, 1984) and Alison Doody (’Last Crusade’, 1989). She certainly is a marked improvement on the modern woke inspired insipid female action leads such as Brie Larson (’Captain Marvel’), or any women in the Marvel universe for that matter, or Katherine Waterson (’Alien Covenant’). Waller-Bridge could have been reminiscent of Kathleen Turner (’Romancing the Stone’) and more recently Eva Green, actresses who command attention on screen and are as captivating, if not more so, than the male protagonists they play opposite.

To be sure there have been strong female leads before the woke infested itself into Hollywood story telling but they never made it central to their identity. Sigourney Weaver in ‘Alien’ and Linda Hamilton in the ‘Terminator’ franchise somehow conveyed strength of character with grit and perseverance through their suffering, while also being vulnerable and confident to pull through and succeed. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character isn’t quite that. She doesn’t get into fist fights or overpowers big hulking men but she uses cheek and charm to wriggle out of tight spots. She’s gently bad ass rather the dull ‘strong independent woman’ cardboard caricatures that Marvel is determined to ram down every girl’s throat. If Waller-Bridge’s character was better written she might well have been able to revive memories of the great ladies of Hollywood's golden age who had the fantasy and the confidence that men quaked at their feet.

What lets her character down is the snark. She doesn’t pepper her snark but she drowns in it. All of it directed at poor Indy and mocking him for his creaking bones and his entire legacy. It’s a real eyesore and it is a real let down as it drags the story down and clogs up the wheels that power the kinetic energy that an adventure with Indiana Jones needs. ‘The grumpy old man and the young woman with the wicked repartee set off across the vast world’ schtick is all well and good, but it does grate and by the end it makes you angry that Indy has put up with this crap. I can understand why many are turned off by Waller-Bridge’s character. As a female friend of mine put it, we get the talented Phoebe Waller Bridge’s bitter and unlikable Helena acting like a bitter and unlikable man. But it could be worse, it could be as dumb as Shia LaBeouf‘s bad Fonzie impersonation in 'Crystal Skull’.

I would say there is a difference between snark and sass. Waller-Bridge’s character is all snark. If the original whispers are true the original script had her way more snarkier towards Indy until Ford threatened to leave the project unless there were re-writes,  then it shows how far removed the producers and writers were from treating Indy Jones with the proper respect a beloved legacy character deserves. It’s also lazy story telling.

Karen Black gave us real sass with Marion Ravenwood in ‘Raiders’. Her character was sassy, strong, but also vulnerable and romantic. She plays it pitch perfect. Of all the women in Indy’s life she was good foil for Indy.

Spielberg is so underrated for his mise-en-scène. We first meet Marion running a ramshackle but rowdy tavern in Tibet (she’s a survivor). She plays and wins a drinking game (she’s a tough one), she sees Indy again and punches him (she’s angry and hurt for her abandoning her and thus revealing her vulnerability). She has the medallion and becomes a partner (she’s all business). She evades and fights off the Nazis and their goons, she even uses a frying pan (she’s resourceful but not stupid). She tries on dresses (she’s re-discovers her femininity). Indy saves her but she picks him up at the end of the film by going for a drink (she’s healing and there’s a chance of a new start for both of them). This is a character arc worth investing in because it speaks to truth and to our reality.

The problem with Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character is that she is constantly full on with the snark. Indy and Helena gripe and moan at each other the entire film. Indy hasn’t seen her in years, and she felt abandoned after her father passed, so there’s a lot of bitterness. It’s not unwarranted, but it also isn’t entertaining. It’s never entertaining if the snark makes the character too temperamental and unsympathetic for the audience to be emotionally invested in her.

I think overall the film is let down by the script. Again this is a shame. The writing talent was there. Jez and John-Henry Butterworth worked with James Mangold on ‘Ford v. Ferrari’ and co-wrote ‘Edge of Tomorrow‘ while David Koepp co-wrote the first ‘Mission: Impossible’ (but he also penned Indiana Jones and the ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’, and the 2017 version of ‘The Mummy’ that simultaneously started and destroyed Universal’s plans for their Dark Universe). I love the work of Jez Butterworth who is one of England’s finest modern playwrights and he seemed to have transitioned fine over to Hollywood. But as anyone knows a Hollywood script has always too many cooks in the kitchen. There are so many fingerprints of other people - studio execs and directors and even stars - that a modern Hollywood script somehow resembles a sort of Ship of Theseus. It’s the writer’s name on the script but it doesn’t always mean they wrote or re-wrote every word.

Inevitably things fall between the cracks and you end up filming from the hip and hoping you can stitch together a coherent narrative in post-production editing. Clearly this film suffered from studio interference and many re-writes. And it shows because there is no narrative fluidity at work in the film.

Mads Mikkelsen’s Nazi scientist is a case in point. I love Mikkelsen especially in his arthouse films but I understand why he takes the bucks for the Hollywood films too. But in this film he is phoning in his performance. Mads Mikkelsen does what he can with limited screen time to make an impact but this character feels so recycled from other blockbusters. Here the CIA and US Government are evil and willing to let innocent Americans be murdered in order to let their pet Nazi rocket scientist pursue what they believe to be a hobby. But to be fair the villains in the Indy movies have never truly been memorable with perhaps Belloq, the French archaeologist and nemesis of Indy in ‘Raiders’, the only real exception. It’s just been generic bad guys - The Nazis! The Thugee death cult! The Nazis (again)! The Commies! Now we’re back to Nazis again which is not only safer ground for the Indy franchise but something we can all get behind.

However Mads Mikkelsen’s Dr. Voller, is the blandest and most generic Nazi villain in movie history. At the end of World War II, Voller was recruited by the US Government to aid them in rocket technology. Now that he’s completed his task and man has walked on the moon, he’s turning his genius to his ultimate purpose, the recovery of the ‘Dial of Destiny’ built by Archimedes. Should he find both pieces of the ancient treasure, he plans to return to 1930s Nazi Germany, usurp Hitler, and use his advanced knowledge of rocket propulsion to win the war. In a sense then he was channeling his inner Heidegger who felt Hitler had let down Nazism and worse betrayed Heidegger himself.

So there is a character juxtaposition between Voller and Indy in the sense both men feel more comfortable in the past than the present. But neither is given face time together to explore this intriguing premise that could have anchored the whole narrative of the film. It’s a missed opportunity and instead becomes a failure of character and story telling.

Then there are the one liners which seemed shoe horned in to make the studio execs or the writers feel smug about themselves. There are several woke one lines peppered throughout the film but are either tone deaf or just stupid.

“You trigger happy cracker”-  it’s uttered without any self-awareness by a black CIA agent who is chaperoning the Nazi villain. Just because white people think it’s dumb and aren’t bothered by it doesn’t make it any less a racial slur. If you want authenticity then why not use the ’N’ word then as it would historically appropriate in 1969? The hypocrisy is what’s offensive.

“You stole it. He stole it. I stole it. It’s called capitalism.” - capitalism 101 for economic illiterate social justice warriors.

“[I’m] daring, beautiful, and self-sufficient” - uttered by Helena Shaw as a snarky reminder that she’s a strong independent woman, just in case you forgot.

“It’s not what you believe but how hard you believe.” - Indiana Jones has literally stood before the awesome power of God when the Ark of the Covenant was opened up by the Nazis, and they paid the price for it by having their faces melted off. Indy has drunk from the authentic cup of Christ, given to him by a knight who’s lived for centuries, that gave him eternal life and heal his father from a fatal bullet wound. So he’s figuratively seen the face of God (sure, he closed his eyes) and His holy wrath, and has witnessed the divine healing power of Christ first hand. And yet his spews out this drivel. It’s empty of any meaning and is a silly nod to our current fad that it’s all about the truth of our feelings, not observable facts or truth.

For me though the absolute worse was what they did to Indiana Jones as a character. Once the pinnacle of masculinity, a brave and daring man’s man whose zest for life was only matched by his brilliance, Henry Jones Jr. is now a broken, sad, and lonely old man. Indiana Jones is mired in the past. Not in the archaeological past, but in his own personal past. He's asleep at the wheel, losing interest in his own life. He's lost his son, he's losing his wife. He's been trying to pass on his passion, his understanding to disinterested people. They're not so interested in looking at the past. He remains a man turned towards the past, and then he finds himself confronted by Helena, who embodies the future. This nostalgia, this historical anchoring, becomes the main thread of the story.The film tries to deconstructs Indiana Jones on the cusp of retirement from academia and confronts him with a world he no longer understands. That’s an interesting premise and could have made for a great film.

It’s clear that the filmmakers’ intention was for a lost and broken Indiana to recapture his spirit by the film’s end. However, its horrible pacing and meandering and underdeveloped plot, along with Harrison Ford’s miserably sad demeanour in nearly every scene, make for a deeply depressing movie with an empty and unearned resolution. 

By this I mean at the very end of the film. It’s meant to be daring and it is. There’s something giddy about appearing during the middle of siege of Syracuse by blood thirsty Romans and then coming face to face with Archimedes himself. The film seems to want to justify the legendary, exceptional aura and character of Indy himself by including him in History. Hitherto wounded deep down inside, and now also physically wounded, Indy the archaeologist tells Helena that he wants to stay here and be part of history. 

It's a lovely and even moving moment, and you wonder if the film isn't going to pull a ‘Dying Can Wait’ by having its hero die in order to strengthen its legend. But in a moment that is too brutal from a rhythmic point of view, Helena refuses, knocks out her godfather and takes him back to the waiting plane and back to 1969. The next thing Indy sees he’s woken up back in his shabby apartment in New York.

I felt cheated. I’m sure Indy did too.

After all it was his choice. But Helena robbed him of the freedom to make his own decisions. She’s the one to decide what’s best. In effect she robbed him of agency. Even if it was the wrong decision to stay back in time, it’s so important from a narrative and character arc perspective that Indy should have had his own epiphany and make the choice to come back by himself because there is something worth living for in the future present - and that was reconciling with Marion his estranged wife. But damn it, he had to come to that decision for himself, and not have someone else force it upon him. That’s why the ending feelings so unearned and why the story falls flat as a soufflé when you piss on it.

‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ feels like the type of sequel that aimed to capture the magic of its predecessors, had worthwhile intentions, and a talented cast, but it just never properly materialised. In a movie whose pedigree, both in front and behind the camera, is virtually unassailable, it’s inexcusable that this team of filmmakers couldn’t achieve greater heights. 

The film was a missed opportunity to give a proper send off to a cinematic legend. Harrison Ford proving that whatever gruff genre appeal he possessed in his heyday has aged better than Indy’s knees. He may be 80, but Ford carries the weight of the film, which, for all its gargantuan expense, feels a bit like those throwaway serials that first inspired Lucas - fun while it lasts, but wholly forgettable on exit.

I wouldn’t rate ‘Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny’ as the worst film in the franchise - that dubious honour still lies with ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’.  Indeed the best I can say is that I would rate this film at the benchmark of “not quite as bad as Crystal Skull”.But it’s definitely time to retire and hang up the fedora and the bull whip.

For what’s worth I always thought the ending of ‘Last Crusade’ where Indy, his father Henry Jones Snr., and his two most faithful companions, Sallah and Marcus Brody, ride off into the sunset was the most fitting way to say goodbye to a beloved character.

Instead we have in ‘Dial of Destiny’ the very last scene which is meant to be this perfect ending: Indiana Jones in his scruffy pyjamas and his shabby apartment. Sure, the exchange between a reconciling Indy and Marion is sincere and touching. But that only works because it explicitly recalls ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’. That's what Nietzsche would call “an eternal return”.

I shall eternally return to watch the first three movies to delight in the adventures of the swashbuckling archaeologist with the fedora and a bull whip. The last two dire films will be thrown into the black abyss. Something even Nietzsche would have approved of.

Thanks for your question.

[undefeatednils]

TTRPGs I Desperately Wanna Play

I like TTRPGs. I've only played with three systems (D&D 5e, The Dark Eye 4th Edition Revised, and Dread), but I'd love to try out more. These are a small selection of games that I wish I could play, but I sadly lack the group(s) for that. Also, as an honorary mention, Pathfinder 2e needs to be pointed out. It's very mainstream, and I think I'd enjoy it as a player, but not as a GM.

These games are all in alphabetical order, by the way!

Blades in the Dark

Blades in the Dark is an absolute classic, from everything I've heard. Designed by John Harper and pretty old by now (2017!), I'd just love to experience a short campaign with it. The usage of "clocks" to represent progress when solving problems, the focus on intrigue in general, flashbacks! Blades in the Dark is a very specific game, but it sure looks so fun!

Cloud Empress

Designed by someone going by watt, Cloud Empress is heavily inspired by Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, the first original movie by Hayao Miyazaki (by the way, not a Ghibli movie, because it predates the studio, and its success allowed Studio Ghibli to be formed!).

Cloud Empress really feels like a world where violence is an option, but rarely worth it. Gorgeous illustrations, a fantastic injury and stress system, and a dark yet hopeful setting really give it a lot of flavor that I really, really love!

GRIM

Designed by Tumblr's own @efangamez, GRIM is a dark sci-fi horror game inspired by Quake. I loved reading about its fast-paced, coin-toss-based gameplay and its focus on players rushing around the dungeons, so I'd love to get to play it some day! Let me slay some eldritch beings!

Mausritter

Another oldie, but a goldie! Mausritter by Isaac Williams really plays with the squishyness of player characters in TTRPGs of yore and plays with it by making the players create cute little mice that go on adventures. You can go Watership Down dark, or whimsy, or somewhere inbetween. Perfect little guy energy in the form of a game.

Mothership

So... Are you looking to play a game with someone that really allows you to mirror classic films like Alien or Aliens or The Thing or Event Horizon? I think Mothership by Sean McCoy and others would be the perfect game for that. It largely uses d100s and really seems to allow for characters that fit the archetypes you can find in sci-fi horror movies and have them be both weak enough to be in danger but competent enough to have a shot at dealing with the problem at hand.

See You Space Cowboy

See You Space Cowboy (also known as CUSC) by Onslaught Six and the rest of Tidal Wave Games is really just Cowboy Bebop the TTRPG without the licensing required. Lots of jazzy slang creates the short ruleset for this fun sci-fi RPG. Its system of traits, talents, and breaks feels very intuitive, and I just wanna put on some T-Square or Yoko Kanno or Casiopea while me and a bunch of friends try to survive in a zanier version of space compared to, say, Mothership xD

Sherwood

Created by Richard Ruane, with additional design by Eric Swanson, Sherwood really looks like it can capture the feeling a lot of TTRPG campaigns want to achieve when presented with the idea of adventurers being more trouble for commonfolk than they're worth.

It uses a nice, elegant 2d6 system, its four attributes also serve as a resource for your outlaw, and it really seems fit to tell fun folk tales filled with magic, rebellion, and merriment!

The Electrum Archive

Developed by @emielboven, I just adore pretty much everything about The Electrum Archive. It combines an incredibly flavorful desert world setting with mechanics that are easy to grasp for folks who mostly play 5e, and three very cool classes (I adore the Warlock and the whole magic system which involves knowing the true names of magical spirits and a bit of negotiation between the Warlock player and the GM). I backed the game's second volume via Kickstarter because I was so blown away even by the free rules. I adore it!

Wanderhome

Wanderhome, by Jay Dragon, is another classic. And it barely has any "conventional" mechanics, mostly relying on conversations guided by the, many, many playbooks that exist for it. It really seems like such a beautiful game, an exercise in empathy, and I'd love to read the rulebook more and sit down with folks to "play" Wanderhome, sharing tasty drinks and snacks in the sun.

Also, as an honorary mention, Pathfinder 2e needs to be pointed out. It's very mainstream, and I think I'd enjoy it as a player, but not as a GM.

Also sorry to the two folks I tagged, both are just very prolific people who are also (semi-)active on Tumblr, so yeah...

And again, I didn't get to play any of these. But maybe I will sooner rather than later? Hopefully?

[bbyquokka]

Everyone asking for needy han meanwhile I'm here thinking of a convo we had of just Binge watching Studio Ghibli films with him, 🥺💖 like he keeps asking you sure you can watch one more movie? You're 2 films in, and as he goes to play another movie you're just sleeping all peacefully with your head on his chest, and then the members walk in and they're like did she really fall asleep? And he's all like looking down at you and just smiles " yeah its okay tho she's adorable "

this is something i want so badly 🥺😭

FLUFF BELOW CUT

warnings: fem!reader, she/her pronouns, a lot of floof!!

movie night. Fridays are always yours and Jisung's movie nights, you both made that apparent the day you both got together.

this Friday night, is no different. the band members were kind enough to give you and Jisung some personal space. they all opted in visiting a bar restaurant which meant that they wouldn't be home until past midnight - perfect for you and Jisung

the living area dimly lit, bowls of popcorn and sweets on the coffee table with some drinks. you're dressed in a spaghetti strap vest and shorts whereas Jisung is in grey sweats and no top - skin on skin contact is an absolute must for you both

situated between his legs, head on his bare chest, you hum in content feeling warm and loved from your better half. the fleece blanket providing you both some extra warmth on this cold, winter night.

Spirited Away being the first movie of the night. you both re-enact some scenes, going along with the voice lines and laugh softly if one of you messes up. throwing popcorn and candy into your mouths before exchanging sweet kisses.

Howls Moving Castle being the second. You nuzzle into Jisung's chest, wanting to feel even closer to him, his arms holding you gently, fingers gently tracing small patterns on your skin making it tingle and goose bumps to say hello

Halfway through the film, your eyelids start to feel heavy. you don't want to sleep, not yet at least! just a few more glorious minutes with Sungie...

but his warmth and comfort is overpowering. his soft chuckles rippling from his chest, his heartbeat providing you some soothing asmr to your ears as does his slow breathing.

don't fight this losing battle of sleep.

“another one?” Jisung says, looking down. he coos at your sleeping figure, soft snores escaping your parted lips. his heart melts as does he. you're the most precious thing to him and to see that you feel safe enough with him to fall asleep, does something to him.

his heart feels like it going to burst from all the happiness and love he feels. butterflies erupting in his stomach - this is blissful.

he reaches for his phone, careful not to wake you. he checks the time, which is currently past 1 am, meaning the band members will be back any minute now. he quickly snaps a photo of you, squealing silently to himself before saving it at his wallpaper. he kisses the top of your head gently, stroking your hair as the band members barge in in their usual noisy manner

“can't believe you lost at rock paper scissors, yet again changbin!” Chan states, the members laughing as they all pile in.

“he just sucks, that's all!” Seungmin says with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

“YA! I do not suck, okay! just... bad luck” Changbin says in his usual loud tone. normally, Jisung wouldn't mind all the noise and commotion, but when he sees your nose scrunch up and a hand rubbing your eye slowly, he frowns

“hey uhm. I don't wanna sound like that guy, but could yall just keep the noise down a lil.”

the guys look at Jisung, then you before laughing softly.

“sorry, Ji!” Changbin apologies. Jisung smiles before shaking his head.

“did she really fall asleep on you?” Minho does his short, rapid blinks, not being able to gauge the scene in front of him.

“yeah.” jisung looks down at your sleeping frame, smiling softly and lovingly at you. “yeah, she did but she's adorable so I don't mind.”

→ TAGS [open]: @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @meltheninja13 | @laylasbunbunny

[mooseyspooky]

Moz Solo was already on it @lovely-lady-fox! FamousWhenDead posted the whole thing:

Johnny Marr: How could Meryl Streep agree to be in Mamma Mia?

The guitarist lets us into his cultural life, from his love of David Hockney to making his friends watch a Joan Didion documentary

My favourite piece of music For a long time now, it’s been My Goal’s Beyond by John McLaughlin. Like his work with the Mahavishnu Orchestra, it is in a genre entirely of its own. It’s unquantifiable and makes me feel a certain way, no matter what happens in the outside world.

The lyric I wish I’d written “You’re going to reap just what you sow”, from Perfect Day by Lou Reed.

The instrument I wish I’d learnt Piano. I can play it, but only in amateurish fashion. I should say though there are guitar players who play the piano nicely like Neil Young, Paul McCartney and David Bowie. They play it as a means to an end and do wonderful things with it. But I would like to be a few levels up from there.

The music that cheers me up Any good pop music, which by definition usually means contemporary. There are things from my past that of course make me feel good. But there’s something about hearing music that’s fresh, upbeat and represents the modern world — it makes you feel that everything is OK.

I’m having a fantasy dinner party, I’ll invite these artists and authors Gary Oldman, Muhammad Ali and certainly Marilyn Monroe.

And I’ll put on this music Spirit Power: The Best of Johnny Marr.

Overrated I don’t tend to like shitting on people, but Mamma Mia!, for God’s sake, or We Will Rock You or any of those sorts of musicals. How did it get to that? We’re supposed to go along with the idea that they’re good. What was Meryl Streep thinking she was doing starring in that film, and Julie Walters? What were they thinking? There are a lot of things culturally that we’ve just gone along with and they really must stop.

Underrated

Blindboy Boatclub, the artist and musician from Limerick, is best known as one half of the Irish comedy hip-hop group the Rubberbandits. He’s amazing, has such an interesting way of thinking and also hosts the brilliant series The Blindboy Podcast too. One of the best books I have ever read is his Topographia Hibernica. I can’t recommend him or it enough.

My favourite author

Aldous Huxley. People would assume I’m thinking about Brave New World orThe Doors of Perception, but I’m actually referring to his work after he moved to the United States in the second half of his life. His essays and lectures are even better than his earlier work. I rediscovered him in the Nineties and he is my actual hero. Everything you read of his is an education.

The book I’m reading

Autobiography of Red by Anne Carson. It’s a trip, moving around from style to style. The novel is loosely based on Greek mythology, but set in modern times. It’s relatable and super interesting. PJ Harvey introduced me to Carson, an intriguing cross between an essayist and a poet.

The book I couldn’t finish

The Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley. Just couldn’t do it.

The book I’m ashamed I haven’t read Ulysses by James Joyce. It just sounds so hard going. I love the idea of it and feel genuinely bad that I haven’t read it, but I do also feel like I know so much about it already. I admire it enough, without feeling the need to put myself through the hassle of reading it.

My favourite film Sergio Leone’s film Once Upon a Time in America. When it was first released, I went to see it a few times and decided then it was the best thing I’d ever seen. I recently saw The End We Start From, starring Jodie Comer. It’s so good. Amazingly, I came away from it with this feeling of triumph of the human spirit. It says a lot about what it means to be human and what we fundamentally need, which is compassion, connection, love and understanding. And Comer is just so believable in the role.

The box set I’m hooked on I’m rewatching Nurse Jackie. There’s so much good stuff out there that whenever I occasionally revisit old, great stuff, you forget how much it stands up. I like anything Edie Falco is in. I also have just rewatched the documentary Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold. I’ve watched it at least three times and whenever someone comes to my place that hasn’t watched it, I watch it with them.

My favourite TV series It has to be Mad Men. One of my friends is eagle-eyed and noticed that when they put an album on a turntable, it has the correct label from the Sixties. That’s crazy.

The film I walked out on

There are loads, often stuff I take my kids to see and they don’t even notice I’d left. I didn’t enjoy Baby Driver — I didn’t like the music in that at all.

I wasted an evening watching Manchester City play in the Champions League final in 2021.

The last movie that made me cry These days I can cry at almost anything so I can’t remember.

The place I feel happiest Running around Brooklyn, over the Williamsburg Bridge. Or around Portland, Oregon. Whenever I’m at those places, I always run unless I’m injured. I’ve done a lot of things in my life, but nothing quite beats that.

My guiltiest cultural pleasure Cheese and onion pasty, chips and peas. Anybody who says that’s not a culture doesn’t know what they are talking about.

If I could own one painting it would be We Two Boys Together Clinging by David Hockney. Any of his work would be a dream to own. Even the iPad stuff is beautiful. I went to see David Hockney: Bigger and Closer at the Lightroom and it was great.

FamousWhenDead's post of the article

[mrs-johansson]

Strangers in the night - Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Part 15:

Laying in bed, watching Dateline was probably the most comforting thing we could’ve been doing. I worked a 15-hour day and not gonna lie I was exhausted, but I really wanted to spend time with Scarlett.

“I’ve never asked you about the tattoo on your back,” her hand softly brushed over the ink on my bare back. “It’s really beautiful,” her soft words and touches gave me goosebumps.

“I’ve got it made in Thailand, tattoos are a form of protection to ward off evil spirits there. They are believed to be magical, called Sak Yant. This very old woman did it with a bamboo type of thing and dipped that into ink.” “Did it hurt more? It probably did,” she chuckled lowly. “Oh yeah, she was hitting that into my back. Not a nice feeling.” “And what does it mean?”

Explaining every little detail of line, she was paying attention like I was explaining the secrets of the world. Her fingers followed every curve and mark.

“I wanted to ask you something though, and I want your honest opinion,” spoke Scarlett. I turned around and laid next to her, as she was now sitting with her legs crossed, “I’m thinking about dying my hair.” “Yeah? What color?” I asked. “Brunette… not too dark, not too light. I don’t know, I’m kind of bored of blonde. What do you think?” I squinted at her, doing my best to imagine her with brown hair. “It would be hot. You would keep the length, right?” I sat up, brushing a piece of hair out of her face. “Mhm,” she hummed and I left my hands on her cheeks. Framing her smooth and perfect face.

Her soft but strong hands curled around my thighs and pulled me in her lap. Scam knew how to accompany me in bed, as we’ve fallen into it with each other for a few months now. We had already drunk a couple of glasses of wine and had dinner hours ago. Caught up on what happened throughout the day and I just really wanted to turn off my mind.

She had me under her spell, wrapped tightly around her slender finger for no one else to have. And I didn’t mind one bit. Started slowly undoing the buttons of my pj shirt, never breaking eye contact. Her hands gently slid under the hem of my shirt to hold my hips. The corners of her mouth turned up into a soft smile at my touch as I moved to gently suck on her neck, earning a small hum of appreciation.

“I missed you today,” I mumbled against her skin. Her hands smoothly removed my shirt, throwing it on the floor. “Mhm, you did?” The husk in my ear just gave me goosebumps. Quietly moaned under my breath as my eyes were closed, entrapped in Scarlett’s soft kisses. “Yeah,” I whined as her teeth dug into my skin. I wrapped my fingers into her hair, pulling her slightly back as I scattered kisses and bites onto her neck. “You’re not filming in the next couple of days, yeah?” I asked. “No,” Scarlett mumbled. “Lucky me.” Sucking on her pulse, she let out small whines and moans. Leaving hickies is probably something that teenagers do, but damn how I love to do that. Her left hand was carefully placed around my neck, lightly squeezing it. Scarlett’s other hand went down on my wet panty, rubbing my clothed core. “Hmm… more,” I sighed into the crook of her neck. “You’re wearing too much,” I breathed out while pulling on her shirt.

In no time we threw away every piece of clothing separating us. She grabbed my breast, caressing it carefully with her veiny pretty hands. I moaned. Even if I tried to hold it in, I knew I couldn’t have and she knew it too. Still, on her lap, she slid her hand on my stomach way too slowly for my liking. “Scarlett please…” I squeezed her right wrist as her hand was holding me up, from the underside of my thigh. “What do you want, hm?” Her husky words and that smirk just drove me crazy. “You! Just do something,” her fingers were edging so close to where I needed her the most.

The next second I was lifted off her lap and Scarlett was holding me up before softly laying me on my back. “Oh my god,” I held onto her shoulders for a second. “What? You think I spend hours at the gym for nothing?” She asked with a smirk. “Oh no, I know that you’re strong. Maybe without these biceps, we wouldn’t be here,” I squeezed her biceps playfully and we both chuckled, Scarlett hiding her face in the crook of my neck.

She lifted her face and we were inches apart. I was looking between her eyes and her full lips. With a quick kiss to the edge of my mouth, she lowered her head down to my core. I quickly found Scarlett’s hand with mine and intertwined our fingers.

Scar trailed her tongue from my clit, to my belly, my abdomen, the valley of my breasts, and to my right nipple. She licked it before placing a gentle kiss and biting it, she was smiling. “You’re obsessed,” I chuckled as my fingers ran through her hair, massaging her scalp. “You too though,” she mumbled. “That I am.”

Just the next moment she pushed two of her fingers inside me slowly. “Fuck,” I breathed out. She smiled as her mouth returned between my thighs, eating me out like there was no tomorrow.

She kissed my inner thigh softly while tossing my right leg over her shoulder. She butterfly-kissed my clit before starting to suck it. I took a sharp breath in and squeezed her hand. "Scar," I moaned once I felt her tongue inside me.

"More baby," I whimpered once she began to move my clit with her thumb. Her movements quickened and my skin was burning. “I’m gonna… Scar quick,” with one last lick I was sent over. I was panting, my thighs were shaking and my eyes were closed. “You did so good, love,” Scarlett came up and softly kissed me. I held onto her shoulder, before pulling her down on me with a hand on her back. “You know, when I think about how we got together just now, it makes the past few years worth waiting for you. Sex with you just… unbelievable,” I said while trying to catch my breath. Feeling Scarlett’s smile on my skin was unmatched. “Glad to hear that. The same goes back to you, though. You have magic hands, darling,” she left small kisses along my neck then trailed them up to my lips.

I cupped her face with my hands, brushing the fallen blond locks out of her face. “Thank you for making me happy,” I looked between her eyes and the little smile on her lips was something I’m gonna cherish forever. “Thank you for letting me,” her words were personal and filled with feelings.

The urge to say my feelings was so tempting but just a little more time till I’ll do it. I’m not in a rush and I feel happy in every little moment we have together. She is here and we are present, that’s all we need these days.

***

“I’m gonna go, can you please text me when you get to the airport?” I walked back into the bedroom, seeing Scarlett had sat up in bed already. “Will do,” she yawned and I smiled at her tired look. “There’s some coffee and I got you breakfast. Tell Rose I miss her when you talk,” I leaned down, one hand on her cheek, and kissed her. Her eyes remained closed but a small smile pulled on her lips. “You’re the best, baby. Have fun today.” “You too, I’ll see you tonight.”

Leaving the hotel, I could already see the paparazzi from the lobby. I put on my sunglasses and a confident posture.

Stepping out, flashes went crazy and thankfully it wasn’t dark out so I was already used to the lights. “Y/n! Is it true that you’re dating someone?” “Do Chris and your sister getting married?” “I heard you’re dating someone older, can you confirm?” And I quickly got inside the car. “Way to start the morning.”

***

“Y/n we’re ready for you,” came in the trailer one of the set assistants. “Okay, thank you.”

I had most of my scenes with Kate McKinnon and we had a lot of fun so far filming. She is a very cool person and funny but also professional which makes everything easier.

We had multiple locations around LA to film and people always found where we were. And I immediately saw at least a dozen people being fenced away from the set. I had no choice but to walk past them and as they saw me, it all went downhill.

“Y/n please can we take a picture?” I heard one girl and I most definitely didn’t want to ignore them because I would seem rude. So I turned to them with a small smile. “I’m sorry, I can’t take pictures right now but I’ll sign something for you if that's good,” I said and the girl nodded. She must have been around 18 or something since she seemed to be alone here. I signed her phone case and we exchanged a couple of words before I had to go film.

Ignoring fans was never a thing for me. My dad always taught us that regardless of how people treat you, always be nice and friendly. And I don’t see the point of being the opposite. I try my best every time to be polite and respectful even if the paparazzi is being an ass.

***

After a couple of hours of filming, we had my scene done where I go to Roger Ailes’ office. It was a difficult scene and I was actually glad we had finished it.

Scarly🌻: I’ve got the package😎

me: the package?

Scarly🌻: your sister and Evans

Scarly🌻: the package

Scarly🌻: crazy lovebirds

me: right😂 third wheeling today you think?

Scarly🌻: already, I could’ve just written it on my schedule

me: I’m sorry😂 I don’t think I’ll be able to get to the hotel before dinner so I’ll meet you guys at the restaurant

Scarly🌻: alright, we’re gonna get lunch. Have you had any yet?

me: I’m waiting for it now, we’re moving locations so I have some time off

Scarly🌻: text me when you finished?

me: ofc, have fun babes❤️

Scarly🌻: you too😘

We had moved to an outside location and it was already dark out. I mostly filmed in a restaurant but then outside too. Not gonna lie I was cold for a while, but after we did multiple takes I got used to it.

After we all finished I quickly changed and redid my makeup then I made my way toward the restaurant.

[driftwithme]

Right now I'm kinda sick which means I have no brainpower to talk about this properly or at least how I want to.

Subject at hand: Mako, Chuck and Raleigh all had an specific item in the movie that kinda explains or contains them as characters.

Mako and her relationship with swords is the obvious example. If you'll permit me to call it her motif, then let that be it. For the sake of storytelling, Mako is given an object that is the summary of her struggles and dreams, of her traumas and her hope. Swords are part of her heritage, given that his dad dedicated his life to making them. An item capable of both great damage and impossible beauty, the movie even adapts it to be more like the girl itself: chainswords that stay hidden and silently away for their turn to strike, capable of flexibility and quick adaptation, they are almost unbreakable, used to support others in need, cut straight through the heart of the enemy and provide a sure win even under great underwater pressure or up in the sky.

Mako is the girl welding the sword and she's the one crafting the sword from scratch designing it and she's the sword itself, okay?

Mako's a weapon in the context of she being a soldier. She's deadly, trained to kill, efficient with a perfect score in combat simulations, one of the brightest in the Jaeger Program. But she is also a craft in the sense of being someone intricate, because her story is way more complex than people imagine. She is beautiful as a woman, delicate in her ways of treating others, elegant in her movements...

In this case, the objectification serves a more artistic purpose. Whenever you think of the chainsword, you think of Mako and the other way around. Her scene killing Otachi in the name of her family is her breakthrough in the movie, where she achieves her dream/goal, when all she has gone through pays off. Then the scene where she uses the chainsword to oin Slattern to G. Danger is the culmination of her arc to say so: now she will kill the Kaiju that killed her adoptive father and will finally put an end of the apocalypse.

Without having to make it explicit in the film, you know that Mako gave those chainswords to G. Danger during the restoration program hoping that it'd be somehow her jaeger, that she'd finally become a ranger piloting it, etc.

Now, I said something similar can be found looking at the depiction of both Chuck and Raleigh in the movie. That's because, to me at least, the narrative does something similar in Chuck-Max and Raleigh-his photographs.

Raleigh is our narrator, our protagonist, we see the world through his eyes. I guess the thesis hear is that Raleigh is the man behind the camera, guiding our perception of this fictional world. Photographs can be intimate, int he way they reveal the interest of the one taking them. In sharing with us the concept of Raleigh having photography as his hobby, the story reveals us a man oriented to details and sensitive to the art of framing an instant, telling a story in one snap.

It also tells just how sentimental he is, how much he loved his home, his brother, 'cause he was surviving with rations at the end of the world but wherever he traveled, he took his pictures with him, put them on the walls of his residency. He's then a man who likes to take a look at the past. He said it himself: he spent 5 years on the past, never thinking of how the future would be. Nostalgic or even melancholic, but ultimately willing to make new good and bad memories and capture them for posterity. Loyal, down to earth in the sense that he knows where he came and what made him the way he is, sensible and patient, likes walking around cities or touring maybe, which is interesting really. For all the cocky American dream of a man the movie suggests he was, he didn't have posters of action movies or pics of him in fights or any of that. He had pics of architecture, nice tiny shots that suggest calmness, a steady hand and a more passive spirit. It really matches Mako Mori in that sense.

I could dive more into the subjects of how his photographs characterize Raleigh Becket, but I'm not lying when I say I'm feeling sick and my brain is kinda foggy.

I'll close this post talking about Chuck and his relationship with Max instead.

One of the first things I noticed on my last rewatch is just how many times Chuck and Max are practically switching roles in the film

As in Chuck gets treated like a dog and Max gets treated like a son. As in they are one and the same sometimes, given that Max is the vehicle of Chuck's repressed emotions, since he refuses to let them out openly. As in Max is the representation of the intricate rituals the Hansens use to communicate the things they cannot say but want to.

I'll try explain it quickly using two scenes from the movie, okay?

First one: when Pentecost and Mako were showing Raleigh the jaeger bay on the Hong Kong Shatterdome and the Hansens arrived just in time to greet the newcomer, Herc tells someone to stay but he is not talking to Max.

His clipped tone given as a short command surprised me because it sounded like the one you'd give your dog when you see someone or some other dog approaching. Now, if you know your dog is a troublemaker and if you have trained, you could give the command to tell him to stay away from the trouble.

But Max runs freely to Mako and Herc only jokes about how Max is always slobbering over pretty girls, a comment you'd expect from a dad about his teenage son. He doesn't tell Max to stop. He doesn't even look at the dog as he's talking with Raleigh.

The one who stayed behind, grounded, was Chuck. This alone tells us so much about the Hansens and their stiff relationship. Chuck is the dog who might bite, the one you need to pull the leash to avoid him attacking. Herc is not a perfect man but here it's obvious he did fuck up as a dad. He gives orders like he's a commander and Chuck a subordinate. Stay.

(I can't remember exactly the dialogue, so you might forgive any discrepancy. What I know is that Herc told Chuck to stay behind while he greeted Raleigh, meaning that Herc knew Chuck might cause a scene. What did he know about Chuck and Raleigh and why did he tell Chuck to stay behind?).

The second scene: on the farewell moment before Operation Pitfall, Chuck kneels to pet Max one last time and tells him to take care of Herc (or was it the other way around?).

I choose this moment to defend my point because here? Here Chuck is assigning Max as his replacement. Not in the mean way, of course, but he acknowledges that his dad might lose his only son and trying to soften the blow, he gives Herc one last mission: to take care of Max and also let Max take care of him. Max is an extension of Chuck, so it's a way of saying that their bond stays there and they will ALWAYS take care of each other, it doesn't matter if Chuck dies during Pitfall.

It's also telling that Chuck kneeling to pet Max is a metaphor for Chuck asking Herc for forgiveness. All his intentions go to Max in that sense. Now Chuck has become Max and Max will always be Chuck. Now, man and dog are one, because the dog has taken Chuck's place as Herc's son and Chuck is the dog that gets send to die at the bottom of the ocean, some fucked up version of Laika up in space.

That's why we see almost every pilot eating at least once in the movie, but not Chuck. He was feeding Max and once it was over, they both walked away like the food was not on Max's belly but Chuck's. That's why Max and Chuck almost never interact with someone at the same time.

Chuck is the kid who got instructed but not raised by his dad. He's the war dog with an impressive killing count that doesn't get to brag because he barks too much and he's not nice to strangers. He is, to any means, just an scared animal behaving like he was taught to. He is confused and jealous when Herc gives his attention (and affection in Chuck's eyes) to someone else. Chuck is desperate to be told he's a good boy, he's enough, he's loved and appreciated. He lashes out when he feels threatened or cornered and he gives puppy eyes meaning "sorry" when he knows he has fucked up, etc etc etc.

An if it feels abhorrent to reduce Chuck to the role of a dog, it speaks volumes about the way he got treated in the movie. In the end, the only thing he really wins during the movie is to be called his father's son. You can argue "but Shan, doesn't he also wins the respect of most characters?" and I'd tell you that it's a sad sad thing that the only way you can get others to acknowledge you as a good man is by exploding yourself at the bottom of the ocean.

I'm not talking about Mako or Raleigh here, because through Max, we know that Mako and Chuck could be friends but in the movie all we get is a tense relationship summarized in maybe one exchange of words (that got Chuck beaten up by the way). And when it comes to Raleigh, all the resolution we got was a silent apology and the equally silent acceptance of such after the Double Event, if we don't count that Chuck was on Raleigh's left side during Stacker's motivational speech

But you know those metaphors of pets being like children? From that angle, Pentecost and Herc are always treating Chuck as an spoiled brat. Which he is, but c'mon. It's not like Herc can talk much being that he failed Chuck big time and it's not like Pentecost wasn't there to witness how the youngest ranger ever to be graduated survived 5 years of actual hell and achieved the best killing count. You don't get there for being a kid. You don't go so far without maturing hard and fast. Chuck is not some annoying puppy picking fights because he's bored. He let's Max sleep and eat and okay to his liking because that's the side that Chuck himself can't be: carefree, soft, selfish in the sense of being self-indulgent.

Mako had to shape herself into a sword to avenge her family and make justice and even survive in a world that tried to kill her when she was still just s little child. Raleigh had to freeze his memories in photographs because he's by now used to tragedy and not having enough time, things ending fast, his happy days going away, losing his home and family. Chuck gave his dog the comfortable life he wishes he could have, he devoted himself to the task of giving Max all that he felt Herc failed to give him, and finally gave Max his place as Herc's son.

Which yeah, pretty much is what I tried to say in many clumsy words ejdjdkjfkfkdn:

Mako, Chuck and Raleigh all had an specific item in the movie that explains or contains them as characters.

[artsywriter25]

Let’s talk about Kung Fu Panda 4

Okay, so we finally got some updates on KFP4, the plot, the director and what to expect to see in the film. My reaction to this is….mix.

On one hand, I’m so happy we got something! But on the other hand, I’m just really nervous and I don’t like this deflated feeling. So I’m writing this out to share my thoughts and wanting to hear what the fandom thinks. I’ll try not to make this too long or sound like a rant, I’m going straight to the point and talk about the good and bad about KFP4.

=

So first let’s talk about the director: Mike Mitchell

……Oh boy.

Ok I’m not gonna give the guy any crap, I’m willing enough to give him a chance. Yes I know he directed Trolls, but he also directed Shrek Forever After. I looked back at that movie after The Last Wish and it’s not really that bad. It was actually sweet and serious in some parts. And that’s what I hope this director will do, have the 4th film at least serious in some parts and don’t make it too goofy or jokey where it feels awkward.    

Now on to the story and this is the best way I can summarize this from a few articles I’ve read:

“ Po is getting promoted to be the spiritual leader of the Valley of Peace, but he has to choose someone to take his place as the new Dragon Warrior. He catches a theft fox who he could see potential in their skills but they don’t get along. But Then a Chinese sorcerer known as ‘The Chameleon’, has summon Po’s past villains from the dead. Now Po and his (student?) must journey together and stop this new villain. ”  

So judging by the information that we got, it sounds like many years have passed since the third movie. Po becoming leader actually worries me because it’s probably hinting that Master Shifu may pass away and now Po has to take his responsibilities (This is just a guess so sorry Shifu fans!).  

There is also this fox character they have mention in the articles which they can’t seem to get the name right and they keep flipping their gender. First it was misspelled as Shen, then it was Chen and Zhen so I’m just gonna call them Fox for now on.

I wonder what kind of story arc will they give Fox. What’s their backstory? What kind of lessons they must learn? Does Po see himself in them or are they both different with different views? These are some questions I hope they answer. Giving Po a student to teach was a direction I theorized DreamWorks will go down and I’m glad they did. The trilogy had Po as a student, now taking the role of masterful teacher, it make sense to passed down those experiences to someone. I can really image the funny shenanigans they can get in to, along with the Furious Five. I think it would have been awesome if they each had a student too and they all come together fighting the villains with the skills they were taught. If there’s one thing I’m really worried about is the Five getting pushed aside for this new character or Fox ending up being a perfect character. Have Fox be flawed, have them be a kid we can relate and root for and something that the kids will like too.

Now let’s talk about my most favorite thing of all: THE VILLAINS!!!

OH MY GOD MY FANGIRL IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER! TAI LUNG, SHEN AND KAI ARE COMING BACK!! AND I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD OR BAD THING!!??

I am shock, like I never expected they go down this route. Story wise, I understand why the three shouldn’t come back as they served their purpose as villains, but no, they are bringing them all back. A actual animation studio is listening and giving the fans what they wanted??

DreamWorks must be watching their fandoms, that’s the only explanation I can think of. They must have saw all of our fanarts and fanfics and went like “Oh damn, they really love are villains…you know what, let’s bring them back.”

So how will this affect the story? I honestly don’t know, maybe Fox has to learn all body, mind, and spirit in order to help Po and the Five.

Now what I’m really surprised is they choose a chameleon to be the forth villain. I did some research this morning, and there’s not that many species that look intimidating. But if they could make a peacock threatening, I’m sure they can make a chameleon threatening too. I even looked up about sorcerers in China and I think they meant shamans. Chinese shamans are known to be wizards or spirit mediums, this could mean the Chameleon may have some connection to the spirit realm, which I hope they explored more on. I read some of this under Wikipedia, its very interesting.

=

And that’s all I have to say for Kung Fu Panda 4. I am a little worry for this film but I’m not gonna get worked up about it, I’m gonna stay positive that it will work and I’m sure it will. The only thing that could save this film is the animation. I think KFP is perfect for that hybrid spiderverse animation.  

But what do you guys think and are you still excited for the sequel?? If you wanna discuss anything about this I’m all ears. 

[astrronomemes]

ALADDIN: THE KING OF THIEVES STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings from the 1996 Disney film Aladdin: The King of Thieves. change & alter as needed.

“Somebody’s gonna be late for his own wedding!”

“It’s a bachelor party, big boy!”

“This is for the wedding.”

“It belonged to my father.”

“He died a long time ago.”

“[Name], are you getting cold feet?”

“What do I know about families? What if I’m no good at it?”

“If your father were here, he’d be as proud of you as I am.”

“Someone has to keep a cool head, [name].”

“Someone will have no head if this turns out to be another wild goose chase.”

“I can see fine from back here.”

“I’m not gonna cry. I’m not.”

“I thought the earth wasn’t supposed to move until the honeymoon.”

“So this isn’t a bad day for you, really, is it?”

“It must be here somewhere.”

“You have a lot of spirit. And a lot of mouth.”

“Stay out of my way, boy, and you won’t get hurt.”

“That was for ruining my wedding.”

“This is not my fault! This was not built to code!”

“Good luck getting back the catering deposit.”

“Hey, I want to see some resumes on these guys.”

“I am so sorry about all this, [name].”

“With all the other great stuff, why go for this thing?”

“Did someone say ‘treasure’?”

“I see all that has been, and all that will be.”

“Okay, you know all, so tell all.”

“I know what my future is. My future is you.”

“I have no idea where I come from.”

“I don’t think you can help me.”

“My father is alive?”

“What kind of man leaves his son?”

“How can you be so sure?”

“How bad is it?”

“I want to get in, get out, and go home.”

“If you’re talking about spilling my blood... well, I just don’t see that happening.”

“Like it or not, boy, we’re blood.”

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Yes, [name], mercy would be so like you — soft, and weak.”

“A test? That’s not so bad. Maybe it’ll be multiple-choice!”

“Knock ’im dead, kid. Seriously.”

“You would know if [name] was in trouble, wouldn’t you?”

“I thought he’d be back by now.”

“It’s a joke! ...I do that.”

“Thanks for cheering me up.”

“You did your old man proud, [name].”

“I was just trying to stay alive.”

“We never hurt the innocent.”

“That’s just a myth!”

“You don’t know what it’s like to have nothing!”

“I thought my family was lost forever.”

“I wanted a father. I still do.”

“[Name] may not understand, but it just wouldn’t work. I don’t belong in his world.”

“Get off that thing before you break your neck!”

“This creep’s got a yellow sheet as long as my arm.”

“You are most definitely [name]’s father.”

“All he needed was a second chance.”

“It’s a slap-on-the-wrist and community-service kind of thing.”

“I thought I could change him. I had to try.”

“You can change my clothes, [name]. You can’t change who I am.”

“There are some wishes that even I can’t make come true.”

“Everything was perfect before he came into my life.”

“It’s the cape talking, isn’t it?”

“I’ve come to say goodbye.”

“We don’t have much time.”

“They can’t catch me.”

“I want him dead or alive.”

“We shall see if [name] wants you in his family now.”

“Keep your hands off my son!”

“I did lose my lunch back there.”

“By then, we’ll be long gone.”

“I’m sorry for what you’ve lost, but you can’t go back now. You know that.”

“I’m not going with you.”

“You ran away from your family!”

“It’s a good day to die.”

“They’re my family. My only family.”

“Frankly, my boy, your actions were most disappointing.”

“What you have done... well, you did it out of love.”

“I know your dad made a lot of bad choices, but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

[girlweepinginstairwell]

hello! what is your ranking of the rv title tracks, im curious to know, unless you've posted it before im sorry 😭

hi! 🌟 oh my goodness i spent quite a while on this because i am TERRIBLE at ranking things and i also had a lot to say... but here you go! disclaimer that i genuinely love red velvet’s discography to pieces and even the songs that are ranked lower on this list are among some of my favorites. i also decided not to include their japanese singles, solos, subunits, or sm station releases to make things a little easier for myself. you may notice that chill kill does not feature on the list & that’s because it hasn’t been out for long enough for me to ascertain my feelings towards it just yet! okay soooooo with all that out of the way . here are my thoughts 🦢

russian roulette - ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME. i got into red velvet immediately after hearing this back in 2016 & showed it to absolutely everyone i knew because i was so completely head-over-heels for it... i adore its playful synthiness and how bubbly and sweet their voices sound here, i LOVE its accompanying music video of course. when i think of kpop at its very best i think of russian roulette by red velvet!

automatic - i’m forever blown away by this song like it is literally perfect to me… smoldering, minimalist, effortlessly beautiful. i can’t believe they put this out so early in their careers, like genuinely what a feat. i love it so much

rookie - i feel like rookie is strangely underrated & i never understood why? it’s fun, it’s cute, it’s silly, it’s extremely loopable. really excellent instrumental imo and it shines even through their vocals… the strong bassline and brassy chorus in particular are highlights for me. also i think seulgi had a lot of fun this era in particular and it was so nice to see!

one of these nights - i absolutely love the creative direction of its music video & the song itself cemented rv as some of my favorite vocalists ever. easily one of their best title tracks, red or velvet. like it’s just perfect… melancholic and soulful and utterly magical

rbb (really bad boy) - i think this is one of their singles that best shows off their vocals… belting, shrieking, breathy whispering, chanting… the harmonization, the adlibs… so cunt, so interesting to listen to, so all over the place in the best way possible! no other group could have done it

umpah umpah - okay i personally feel that this is their best title track of the original festival trilogy in addition to their best summer single… never fails to lift my spirits, like it’s so joyful and unabashedly fun! i love that it sounds like it’s from a musical and i don’t mean that sarcastically at all

dumb dumb - literally one of the most unique kpop tracks like how many other songs can you think of that sound like this. still SO genuinely novel and exciting to listen to for its quirkiness and nonstop momentum that just builds and builds and builds

bad boy - very evocative of a particular moment in kpop but it aged like a fine wine! delicious to hear then & delicious to hear now… swaggering and silky and impeccably produced. i also think that the styling & sets for this music video were heavily imitated afterwards with songs of lesser quality from other groups. rv 🔛🔝

be natural - SO GOOD... sleek and sultry and understated. i also really love the way the music video is filmed and i think it belongs in the criterion collection. i’m ranking this a little lower than it deserves maybe by virtue of it being a cover rather than an original song and also because of taeyong’s rap

peek-a-boo - PEOPLE DIED. i feel like it’s almost impossible to listen to this without thinking of its music video—not at all a detriment because it’s a complete delight to watch. very catchy and clever and cool despite not being particularly upbeat. i feel like… again… it’s one of those songs where i can’t imagine a group other than red velvet putting out a comeback like this. it’s so them

feel my rhythm - love the structure of this song so much… brings together so many unexpected elements so elegantly. the noisiness caught me off guard a little bit when it came out but now i love the way they transition between the pots-and-pans quality of the verses and the orchestral ambience of the choruses. it really does feel like a frenetic, enchanting festival

power up - SO SILLYYYYY i’m a fan! i love songs with video game-inspired instrumentals & power up is one that’s fast and upbeat and summery and impossible not to dance along to. the japanese version in particular does something to my brain

birthday - i really did not like this when it first dropped but i enjoy it a LOT now… it feels like it’s building up to something it never really reaches but despite this i think it’s so catchy and bold & i love the sample the song is built around

ice cream cake - okay honestly very fun and i loved it back in the day but i don’t find myself listening to it a ton now... really enjoyed the collective blonde moment though & how ahead-of-the-curve they were with its noisy instrumentals!

queendom - i do think the lyrics can get a little corny and it’s not among their strongest title tracks, but it’s cute and easy listening vibes to me and there are some really wonderful vocal moments here and there!

psycho - good song but it was super overplayed a few years ago and it’s sonically not as interesting as their other singles. i know some people feel it’s their best but i don’t agree because i feel like i prefer songs with less muddied instrumentals. very quintessentially rv though, if that makes sense!

zimzalabim - was this a bad song… NO. do i like it that much… ALSO NO. the bridge is stunning though, one of their prettiest bridges ever, and i loved the satanism accusations that were flying around when it first dropped

red flavor - super popular, i know, and i do think it’s nice and nostalgic still, but i don’t feel it’s their best summer track and don’t actually listen to it all that much… oops. i love the twinkling sounds in the chorus but it has an empty and echoey quality to it at certain points that i find i’m not the biggest fan of

happiness - kind of a lackluster debut sorry... i do like the refrain and the pre-chorus though so the only time i ever seek out this song is when i wanna hear that bit... like yes joy! exactly joy!

[psychedelic-ink]

Little Drummer Boy

**depictions of reader in this moodboard are not indicative of her size, race or ethnicity in the story

pairing: dieter bravo x bodyguard fem!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.3k

summary: Dieter wants the same nail art as you.

a/n: No smut??? I am absolutely flabbergasted with myself, new year new me I guess lmao Anyways, this little drabble is a part of the "we fall like snow" series but you can most definitely read it by itself. There's no names, plot or anything, just a soft moment between dieter and his bodyguard.

I really enjoy doing nail art and I did the same style as the one in the moodboard. Just as I was staring at them I thought about Dieter and how adorable it would be if he asked for the same design and viola! A drabble is born! Enjoy, xoxo

dividers made by the lovely @firefly-graphics

As you walk through set —looking for a missing Dieter— you stare down at your nails. You haven’t even put up your Christmas decorations yet but your nails were just beaming with Christmas Spirit. For your thumb, middle finger and pinky you’d done a red french tip. For the others you've done candy canes, doing the stripes had been a challenge since you still didn’t have a nail art brush, but even imperfect, you like how they look.

Nail art is one of your more recent hobbies. You’ve been an avid nail eater in the past but ever since you managed to stop chewing down on your nails —watching them grow in the process— you’ve been experiencing immense joy painting colorful shapes. They aren’t perfect, far from actually, but you still do it. Some people in the bodyguard industry frowned upon it. Saying that the colorful nails didn’t go with the image, but you simply argued that they lacked imagination. They aren’t long, so your nails being purple, orange or whatever shouldn’t cause any problems.

You find Dieter sitting at the curb cradling a paper coffee cup with both hands. For a brief moment you think about sitting next to him but then quickly decide against it. He needs to be ready in ten minutes. You sitting next to him would only add fuel to the fire of a busy film set.

“You are being summoned, Dieter.”

You had said it light heartedly since you weren’t a fan of how blankly he was staring into space. He slowly looks up, his eyes failing to recognize you. Just how much did he drink last night? Wanting to ground him, you place your hand on his shoulder in hopes that a gentle squeeze would wake him up from whatever trance he was in. Dieter blinks, his gaze softens as his pupils move up from your hand and to your wrist. With a sudden heat blaring at your fingertips, you pull away.

“I like your nails,” he says. “Very festive. I want mine to look like that too.”

Okay, he’s definitely still high as a plane.

You take a deep inhale and smile. There is only one thing to do in times like this; to abuse the reward system.

“I’ll make yours just like mine if you come with me and get ready for the next scene,” Dieter thinks for a moment, his lips stretch into a goofy grin that you can only describe as being the most adorable thing ever.

“That sounds fair.”

You really didn’t expect Dieter to whine until you invited him home to do his nails. You really hadn’t. Your genius plan of getting him to cooperate ended up blowing up in your face.

Now he sits eagerly, his one leg bouncing up and down as you bring out the supplies. Luckily you don’t need a lot for the design; red and white nail polish, a red marker used for painting porcelain cups and clear nail polish to end it with. Dieter’s eyes go wide, his grin stretching like the Cheshire cat. You fight the urge to smile but lose brutally, a wide smile of your own appearing on your lips.

“I never thought you would be this excited for this,”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m an artist you know,”

“I do,” you shrug as you sit across from him. “I don’t know, I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised.”

“So, which one do we start off with?” he asks excitedly.

You tell him the process with a smile. First you’ll do the red french tips —in which he said he would prefer it if you completely painted them red, you had no objections to his ask— then you explain how you’ll be doing the candy canes. You warn him that he needs to stay still for that part.

He suddenly stops bouncing his leg, his brows furrowing with intense concentration, he nods. You let out a chuckle and start doing his nails.

And he fucking giggles. You firmly hold his hand so he doesn’t move it.

“Why on earth are you giggling, Dieter?”

“It’s ticklish!”

“You’re joking right?” you look at him deadpanned. “They literally sweep your face with soft brushes all day and you practically fall asleep at the chair, and you’re telling me a brush to the nail is tickling you?”

“Yes,”

He’s dead fucking serious.

“Dieter…I don’t know how to tell you this but nails are literally like hair. You can’t feel with them. They’re dead cells.”

“Maybe I’m just special.”

You let out a laugh, putting the brush back in the nail polish, you prop your head up with your elbow.

“Even if that is true and you can feel it through your nails,” you say smiling. “I don’t really see how that makes you special,”

“I can do something that others can’t,”

“Fine then, I guess I can’t do your nails. Bummer.”

“Hey, why not?!”

“How can I do decent nail art if you keep on giggling?”

He sticks his bottom lip out. Your biggest weakness; his puppy dog eyes. You sigh, though it’s more playful than actually being fed up. With a smile you open your palm. Dieter eyes it suspiciously, like a stray taking food from a stranger for the first time. But then like every stray he comes closer, for him that means placing his hand on top of yours and averting his eyes, his pout still lingering on his plush lips.

“Good boy,” you say, teasing him.

He stammers over his words, crimson red crawling up from his neck and spreading to his cheeks. You grin as you press your thumb into his hand to hold him in place, you start to paint his nails. Soon Dieter starts to talk again. He tells you that he’s not a fan of the writing in this movie, and that his character is a pushover. He proceeds to explain that he enjoys subtlety in his films, even if he doesn’t always get every hidden message, he enjoys it far more from the writers metaphorically pointing to every detail like the viewers are idiots. Suddenly, the nail polish isn’t ticklish anymore. How convenient.

“Well sometimes they are,” you hum and pick up the white nail polish. Only the candy canes are left.

“That’s not an excuse. The writers, and directors, should force them to be smarter. Seriously, where’s the fun in watching something if they just hold your hand through every little thing. My character is literally explaining the entire plot, I hate it.”

“I agree with you but it’s just a couple of more weeks.”

“I guess…”

Silence follows, your brows knitting together with concentration, you proceed to do the candy cane’s. Dieter watches you with astonishment, your cheeks heat up as he leans closer, his breath moving the stands of your hair. You’re hyper aware of your close proximity. If you decide to look up right now, your lips would only be an inch away. The thought makes you swallow hard, you pray to every god you know that he doesn’t realize.

“You’re really good at this,” he says, amazed.

“I try my best.”

When it’s finally done you can’t help but admire your work. The red really suits him and the wide smile he’s giving you is making your heart flutter like a baby bird’s.

“You like it?” you ask despite knowing the answer.

“I love it,” he rolls his tongue over every word. “Thank you.”

“You do realize that the makeup crew is most certainly going to erase those tomorrow right? I don’t think your character enjoys Christmas themed nails,”

You said it as a joke but his smile instantly falls, a serious expression crossing his face.

“I’ll fight them.” he says, which makes you laugh.

Much to your surprise, Dieter actually does fight them the next day, hiding his hands and insisting that if anyone so much as comes near him with acetone he will walk off this production. It’s a bit dramatic, for sure, and you have to hide your giggle under your hand, ignoring the director who is giving you dirty looks.

In the end, it seems his character does enjoy Christmas themed nails after all.

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Steph's Crew - The Christmas Party!

Intro:

AKA: The Christmas Special lol

This is a fun little bonus scene I decided to share with you all.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

Nobody's Interested

(The crew is at the Johnson's place for a fun little get-together to celebrate the end of term, and the start of Christmas break. Victor and Jenna are out working, and Alice's sister Mary is staying over at a friend's place for the night)

Stephanie: Alright, people! Who's ready for some Secret Santa magic?

(The others don't seem particularly into this idea)

Elise: What?

Dylan: Uh... well-

Bret: (singsongy) Hell to the no~

Alice: NO! Ew.

Stephanie: Oh, come on! What's wrong with Secret Santa?

Bret: It's boring and lame.

Alice: It's such a dumb tradition. I always pick someone that I don't know. Or even remotely like.

Elise: Same. I never know what to get a person.

Dylan: Yeah... I usually just end up getting them chocolate or something.

Bret: Why can't we just get each other cards and call it a day?

Stephanie: Uh... because that would be boring and lame, Bret. Where is your Christmas spirit, people?!

Dylan: My form tutor always forces us to do it. It's gotten to the point where I don't even look forward to it anymore.

Stephanie: But... you get free stuff.

Dylan: That I don't even enjoy, usually. Look, I've done enough Secret Santa-ing for now. You guys can do it without me.

Alice: Me too.

Bret: Same here. Can we please change the subject to something else now?

Alice: Gladly!

Stephanie: Oh, for goodness sake... (whispers to Elise) El, say something.

Elise: (whispers back) What?!

Stephanie: Get them to change their minds about it! Come on, they'll listen to you.

Elise: Steph, you're literally the only person here who wants to do this whole "Secret Santa" thing.

Stephanie: Please! This is such a big deal to me, you have no idea. I've never really had anybody in my life that I could do this with. And now I do, so... come on, El. You're very persuasive. Help me get everybody on board.

Elise: (sighs) Alright. (out loud) Hey, guys. Just hear me out for a bit...

Secret Santa!

(Elise was successful in winning the group over. It was now time for the crew to pick out the person they were to get gifts for)

Stephanie: Let's do this thing! Remember, no peaking, and no telling anybody who you've got.

Dylan: You're way too excited for this, mate. It's not a big deal!

Stephanie: Shut up. Everybody open your envelopes!

(They open their envelopes to find out who they've got. Stephanie got Elise, Elise got Dylan, Alice got Bret, Bret got Alice, and Dylan got Mary, who was only put on the list so that they could have an even number of people - that way, everyone could get a gift. As soon as everyone found out, they all set off at once to get the perfect gifts for their gifting person. As soon as they make it to the town centre, they split up and head to various shops to see what they can get)

Bret at H&M

(Bret is already struggling. He calls Dylan for help)

Dylan: (On the phone) Hey, man. What's going on?

Bret: I need your help right away. Where are you?

Dylan: Waterstones. Why?

Bret: I got an impossible person!

Dylan: Who? (pauses) Oh, wait. We're not supposed to tell each other that, are we? Against the rules.

Bret: Oh, to hell with the f***ing rules.

Dylan: Is it Steph?

Bret: No. Alice.

Dylan: ... And that's so hard because...?

Bret: What does Alice even like?!

Dylan: Lots of stuff.

Bret: Like arguing. And... that's it. That's all I can think of right now.

Dylan: Dance. She likes dancing.

Bret: Oh, yeah...

Dylan: And music. Particularly Beyonce. And Taylor Swift. Aside from that, though, she's really into detective-y, murder mystery stuff. And true crime. Halloween. Horror films. Video games. Oh, and anime. And just animated shows in general. Especially ATLA right now.

Bret: ATLA?

Dylan: Avatar: The Last Airbender. It's like, all she ever talks about. Oh come on, she's mentioned it in your presence before. Right?

(Bret can't recall ever hearing Alice mention ATLA)

Elise and Alice at John Lewis

(Alice and Elise have decided to shop together for their secret Santa gifts. They too have broken the rules, and have told each other who they got. Since Alice got Bret, and Elise got Dylan, they figured that they'd be able to help each other find the right gifts for these guys)

Elise: Any ideas on what to get Dylan?

Alice: Something sporty. But also something that kind of captures his essence.

Elise: How do you mean?

Alice: You know... his rich inner world. The side of him that you don't see from the outside. The side that you wouldn't even know existed unless you know him like how we know him.

Elise: Hmm. I suppose you're right. But how can that be effectively captured in a gift?

Alice: I don't know. You're his secret Santa, girl. Not me.

Elise: I know. But what would you get him if it were you who picked him instead of me?

Alice: A hovering basketball.

Elise: ... Do those even exist?

Alice: Probably not. But if they did, that's what I'd get him. And a jetpack. And a hovering basketball net, so that he could play basketball in the air, instead of on the ground like how punks do.

Elise: (giggling) You're saying that normal basketball is for punks?

Alice: No. Well, I guess, but only because Dylan is cooler than normal people. Who wants to be normal anyway?

Elise: Oh, Ally. Being "normal" isn't all that bad, you know.

Alice: (sighs) Yeah... I know. (pauses) So, what are you going to get him, then?

Elise: I think he'd like something related to his hidden love for astronomy. You told me one time that this was something he had in common with your sister?

Alice: (smiles) Oh, yeah! I remember that.

Elise: I'll give him my brother's old telescope. It's in his old bedroom, I'm sure Adam won't mind. He hardly used that thing, anyway.

Alice: I love it, El. Brilliant idea. Let's expose his stargazing secrets.

Elise: So, what about you?

Alice: What about me?

Elise: What are you getting for B?

Alice: Oh. That. I-uh... well-

Elise: You don't know.

Alice: Let me finish!

Elise: You weren't saying anything.

Alice: Yeah, you're right. I don't know.

Elise: I do.

Alice: Really? You have an idea?

Elise: I have THE idea. The perfect Christmas gift for him. He's been wanting it forever. And I'm sure we can get it somewhere around here!

Alice: See, this is why I love shopping with you, El.

Present Time...

(It was several hours before the whole crew was back at Alice's hose, ready to exchange their gifts. Stephanie went first, because of course she did)

Stephanie: Ok, so this one's for El. Ellie, open it up. It's so great, you're going to absolutely love it.

Elise: Alright... (opens the box to find a book! Not just any book... a book titled, "Sort Out Your Life - A Comprehensive Guide on How to Not Live Such a Boring Existence." She doesn't know whether to take this in a positive way or not) Oh, wow.

Dylan: What is it? What did you get?

Alice: Yeah! I want to see!

Elise: I don't think you do...

Alice: Why not? It can't be that bad... (stands up and looks) Oh. Oh, wow.

Stephanie: (smiling) It's great, isn't it?

Elise: I mean... it's definitely something. Thanks, Steph. I think.

(Bret picks up on Elise's hurt and discomfort, and decides to change the focus of the conversation)

Bret: I'll go next! Merry Christmas, Ally. (hands her his gift)

Alice: Wait. Bret, you got me? I got you!

Bret: No way.

Alice: Way! Here! (hands him her gift) Merry Christmas, bro.

Bret: Thanks!

(They open their presents simultaneously, and they both have the same reaction - pure anger. Both for the exact same reason)

Bret and Alice: (to each other) You cheater!

Dylan: Wh-What's going on?

Elise: Yeah... aren't those good gifts?

Stephanie: Ok... this isn't going nearly as well as I thought it would. Why is nobody enjoying themselves? Secret Santa is supposed to be fun!

Elise: (murmurs) Well, nothing's ever fun when your force people to do stuff that they clearly hate for your own personal enjoyment. Newsflash.

Stephanie: What?

Elise: Nothing.

Stephanie: No, no. Tell me what you said.

Elise: I said... what the hell is wrong with you?!

Stephanie: ... No, you didn't.

Elise: I'm saying it now, then. Steph, what were you thinking? Why did you get me this? Is this seriously what you think of me?!

Stephanie: Ok. I take it you haven't looked inside?

Elise: What?

Stephanie: I had a surprise message for you in there. All about how special you were and how you didn't need anyone to tell you how to live. This self-help book isn't even a serious self-help book. It's irony. It was mostly written by a comedian.

Elise: ...Oh.

Stephanie: Yeah, I wanted to combine your love for reading and your wisdom about life and learning with some fun and comedy. That's all.

Elise: I see.

Stephanie: Talk about judging a book by its cover...

Elise: I'm sorry, Steph. I guess I'm just used to people thinking I'm weird. After a while, hearing comments about how "off" you are can get to you.

Stephanie: No, I know. That title does sound mean. Trust me, though... I do NOT think you're boring. Or weird. You're the best friend I've ever had. And I love you.

Elise: (smiles) I love you too.

(The two girls hug)

Alice: What are we, chopped liver over here?!

Bret: YEAH!

(Dylan bursts out laughing)

Elise: Oh, come on. We love you guys too.

Stephanie: We don't love that you guys hate your gifts so much.

Dylan: And I don't love the fact that I haven't gotten my gift yet, either.

Elise: Oh, it's outside. I left it there because it's really heavy and I'm exhausted. You should be able to lift it in, though.

Dylan: Off I go! (leaves the room to get his present)

Stephanie: So come on, then. Tell us why you hate these gifts.

Alice: He clearly told somebody that he got me. That's cheating.

Bret: She cheated, too!

Stephanie: Wait, wait. How do you know?

Bret: She told El that she got me. El is the only person that knew I wanted this record. She clearly couldn't think of anything to get me for herself... so this present doesn't even count!

Alice: Neither does yours!

Stephanie: (looks at the gift) Hmm, Pink Floyd.

Alice: (nudges Stephanie's arm) He asked for help, too.

Stephanie: Who from? (glances at Elise)

Elise: Not me!

Alice: Probably from Dylan. He likely said something about my love for Taylor Swift, which prompted him to buy this album of hers. Only, I already own this album. I don't need this!

Elise: Can I have it then? I love these tunes.

Bret: NO!

Elise: Why not?

Bret: Because this isn't that album, Alice. This is a remixed and redone version of it. Bret style.

Alice: (slowly smiles) What?

Bret: A reimagining, if you will. It's fun for the Taylor Swift fan and the haters alike. My Aunt couldn't stop laughing at most of these tracks.

Alice: Oh, I can imagine.

Bret: Let me know what your favourite one was.

Alice: Will do. Thanks, Bret.

Bret: (smiles) You're welcome. (sighs) I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about my present, though.

Stephanie: Can't you just be happy that you finally got the record you've been wanting for ages?

Bret: I am happy. I just... I just wish I got it from somebody else, that's all.

Alice and Stephanie: Who?

(Bret quickly glances at Elise before looking away. Elise blushes)

Bret: Never mind. It doesn't even matter.

Elise: (awkwardly) Yeah... I mean, does it really matter who you got it from? As long as you got it-

Dylan: (from down the hallway) BEST GIFT EVER!!

Elise: (calls back to him) Merry Christmas Dylan.

(Dylan rushes back and gives Elise a huge hug)

Dylan: Thanks, Ellie! I've always wanted a telescope...

THE END.

Happy Holidays, everyone :) I really hope you enjoyed this. Idk if I want this to be a canon event in the Steph's Crew storyline, but it was nice to have these guys be all sweet and wholesome with each other again. The story has gotten a lot more intense now, so it's been cool to take a break from that.

[traditional-dancer-idv]

꒰ঌ✮໒꒱ SLEEPOVER ESSENCE

'Sleep, little one, on a velvet cloud, as the floating stars sing a lullaby. Drift away to the land of dreams, where teddy bears dance in a rainbow sky'

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆

Hihello!!! Orange here with another silly essence, this is nothing serious by any means! Just funky little survivors and hunters having a sleep over!! Allow me explain the main gimmick of this essence!

I have made some skins with typical sleepover tropes but i know they will not fit every character so if you want to join and want a specific role for you character feel free to dm or send me and ask! (8/10)

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠄･ ⋆

Minecraft and Sonic slippers - Taegan Collins ( @idv-sinful-deities )

Make way for the one and only Taegan Collins! Diamond armor and swords, only the best farms and has already killed the enderdragon!! All of this with the power of the mighty sonic slippers!

Sweet dreams - Beth Anastazja ( @ask-idv-baker )

What would be of a sleep over if there weren't lots of sweets and baked good for the attendants to snack on? You don't need to worry about a lack of sugary sweet food because the trustworthy baker is here to save the night!

Solemn night sky - Angeline Bianchi ( @askthepianist )

Laughter, movies, sweets, truths and dares were all so fun, but when the moon is high up and the yawns start to emerge you know it's time to say goodnight. With a night as peaceful as this, how could our precious pianist not feel sleepy after all those cheesy dollar store movies? Just be careful to not be the first to fall asleep!

Just Dance on the Wii U - Beatriz Fernandéz

"Who doesn't like a little dacing after the lot of sweet treats we just ate? Come on everyone likes Hot 'n' cold, grab my hand and move a little! Just like that, perfect! Wait- did you wrap the controller around your wri-"

Pillow fighter - Phineas Smith ( @idv-ask-the-showman )

Ah, pillow fights! An essential to all sleepovers and an opportunity for the more hardcore fans to show off their skills with the pillow to their sleepy friends! Just– don't land on your head, the trip to the ER isn't part of the fun..

Scaredy horror fan - Lawrence Cotas ( @idv-askchaoticduo )

The #1 horror fan! From Chucky to Midsommar, they'll always be the one to bring the horror films to their peers, but they have one secret...Shh! Don't tell nobody but, the murderous ghould and freaky slashers always makes them afraid to fall asleep, they need to protect their friends from The nightmare on Elm street!

Skin care enthusiast - Mitzuko ( @ask-the-maiden )

"Imagine falling asleep without exfoliating your skin, come here! I'll lend you some face mask so you wake up with a refreshing, minty feeling! Wait, you're allergic? Oh, no– Are you still up to some hydration cream?" Beware the skin care enthusiast unless you want your face green! But hey, it feels good, right?

Spooky Story Teller - Samantha ( @idv-askchaoticduo )

OoOoh~ You're afraid of the dark you said? Well then I advise you to stay away from Sam, the spooky story teller! With stories that feel oddly real she'll be sure to atleast make you question wheter to sleep or not, so proceed with caution!

.#1 Make up gal - Tatya ( @tatya-time )

It's Tatya! And her makeovers! C'mon, did you all really think they were over? With her trusty brushes and curling iron your face and your pretty hair will make you feel more confident than ever before! Just don't fall asleep with makeup, you don't wnt a mascara filled pillow, don't you?

A boy and his ghost(s) - Yami Kazuichi ( @the-oletus-parlor )

Yami, the funeral director! Everyone need time to rest right? A little me time but working with spirits is a full time job, especially when at least two of the other atendees are horror fans! Wha- wait? Who pulled out a Ouija? And why is it moving?!

(edit) also my main is @orange-juice-glass if anyone wants to dm there to discuss skins!! :3

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