#i just wanted to watch parasite. that bad. anyway it is as good as i remember if not better

[waterbearable]

yknow its never a bad time to rewatch parasite.

[suzukiblu]

Parasite WIP is so good and I desperately want more of it! I voted for it in the poll and I’m so sad it didn’t win

Friend, I appreciate you asking after it because it really is one of my fucked-up faves that I really need to work on more, so uh . . . have all 4500 words of the prose so far all together, hahaha. Yes, yes I DID reformat this whole thing into Tumblr-friendliness all for you. THAT IS HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOUR APPRECIATION, FRIEND. ( so definitely we are gonna need that read-more down there, lol. )

Clark wakes up. 

Clark didn't even know he wasn't awake. 

"Superman," Bruce says with absolute neutrality. He's wearing the cowl. Standing in rubble. Clark is . . . not standing in rubble. 

Laying in rubble. That's what Clark is doing. 

Bruce is looking down at him very, very carefully, and seems . . . reserved. 

Reserved for Bruce, even. 

"What happened?" Clark asks, trying not to concentrate on the little seed of dread that the sight of that reservation invokes in him. He can hear the heartbeats of other League members, here and there in the wreckage of the street around them. Hear civilians and city noise. Hear Lois and Jon, distantly, and Ma and Pa, even more distant. And . . . Kara–both of her–and . . . 

"We'll go with 'electrocution', but I think we can safely say just about anyone else would've been virtually incinerated," Bruce informs him, distracting Clark from his mental rundown of people he's currently worried about. "Or just exploded."

"Ah," Clark says with a grimace. Well, that explains why his head hurts so damn bad, he guesses.

At least it was him, then, and not any "anyone else"s. 

He pushes himself up. Looks around. He . . . isn't sure where they are, exactly, except that it's probably somewhere on Earth and within the continental United States, judging by the architecture and signs he's seeing and the accents and languages he's hearing. 

He has absolutely no idea how they got here, though. The last thing he remembers is . . . 

. . . he's not actually sure what the last thing he remembers is. 

Not a great sign, that.  

Bruce is watching him. Like he's . . . expecting something, almost. Clark would ask, but there's an odd feeling distracting him. Something's . . . off, somehow. 

Missing. 

Bruce's utility belt is a new design, he notes absently. J'onn is down the street a bit and his costume looks a little different too. And Diana . . . 

Diana is over across the way, and her hair is a couple inches longer than he remembers it being. 

Clark would assume he was mistaken, except for the eidetic memory and all. 

"Hm," Clark says. 

"Hm?" Bruce says. He still sounds faultlessly neutral. 

"Trying to figure out if I'm in the right reality. Things look a little off," Clark replies, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes in concentration. No unexpected sounds or scents. No particular feeling of disorientation that can't be accounted for by being apparently electrocuted. No additional pains past the dull pressure in his head or any immediately obvious peculiarities beyond the minor little scattered differences here and there in his teammates. 

But something is–

"I can't hear Kon," Clark realizes abruptly. He doesn't usually especially keep an ear out for the kid, at least not deliberately, but . . . 

Bruce . . . pauses. 

"You can't," he says, very carefully. It doesn't sound like a question. 

It sounds like something, though. 

"I can't," Clark confirms anyway, glancing around again. He still doesn't know where this is. "Where are we, exactly?" 

"What's the date, Kal?" Bruce asks, and Clark's heart sinks. 

He answers the question. 

Bruce's mouth thins. 

Hell, Clark thinks. 

"We're currently in Keystone City," Bruce says, very carefully expressionless. "We've been here for three days. The date you just provided me was a full fourteen months ago. And Kon-El has been MIA for roughly thirteen and a half of those months." 

Hell, Clark thinks, and doesn't let himself process anything past that. 

"We need to get a scan of your brain," Bruce says. "For starters." 

"For starters," Clark agrees tightly. 

Bruce tells Diana they're leaving, then abandons the rubble and takes Clark up to the Watchtower. Clark goes. He doesn't ask what electrocuted him or who's died in the past fourteen months or if there's anything immediately urgent that he should know. Bruce would've already told him, if there was. 

And he thinks he'd choke on the question if he tried, anyway. 

They go to the med bay. There's a total stranger standing in it who smiles at them when they step through the door. 

"Haven't seen you in here in quite a while, Superman," the stranger observes in amusement, tapping a pen against the clipboard in their hands. "You still haven't been in for that checkup I owe you, you know." 

"He doesn't know you," Bruce informs them evenly. The stranger blinks. 

"Sorry?" they say. 

"He was electrocuted," Bruce says. "Now he thinks it's fourteen months ago. We need a brain scan. Immediately." 

"Hell," the stranger says, their eyes widening in alarm. 

Clark gets the brain scan. 

He and Bruce wait in a convenient exam room for the results, which seem to be taking a while. Bruce seems a bit more guarded than usual, which means Clark is standing next to goddamn Fort Knox right now. He sighs to himself. 

"Suppose at this rate I should call and tell Lois and Jon I'll be late for dinner," he jokes wryly as he folds his arms, no real humor in the comment, and Bruce goes very, very still beside him. 

. . . hell. 

They're not dead. He knows they're not dead, he heard their heartbeats before they left for the watchtower, Bruce would've already told him if either of them were–

"They aren't expecting you," Bruce says with absolutely no intonation whatsoever in his voice. "You moved out eight months ago. The divorce is already finalized." 

"Ah," Clark says, very slowly. He doesn't let himself process, again. Not–just, not yet. "What happened?" 

"You left them," Bruce says, and Clark . . . blinks. 

"I left them?!" he demands incredulously. Leaving Lois is one thing, horrible and impossible a thought as it is, but– "Not just–I left them both?!"

"As you explained it to me, you were no longer interested in maintaining the . . . 'persona' of Clark Kent," Bruce replies carefully, looking just past him. "You said you couldn't stand the screaming anymore. That you appreciated us . . . humoring you for so long, but you couldn't just keep walking around making excuses and lying to everyone while people were suffering and dying just because you had to pretend to be human for a while. So yes. You left them. Haven't visited since Lois finally signed the divorce papers. Haven't spoken to your parents either. You've been . . . erratic. Since Kon-El's disappearance. When we couldn't find him . . . when we couldn't even find out what happened to him . . ." 

"Oh," Clark says, and his heart sinks again. 

He doesn't understand, though. Kon is–he cares about the kid, obviously. Cares very deeply about him. He's pretty sure he even loves him, at this point. But he's not . . . 

It feels terrible to think it, but Clark doesn't understand why Kon disappearing like that would affect him enough to stop being Clark. It's awful, and he still hasn't let himself actually think about it happening at all because he really can't process it right now, but that awful? Really? Awful enough to abandon being any semblance of a normal person? Abandon Lois and his parents entirely? 

Abandon Jon entirely? 

Apparently, yes. 

"Technically you're on unpaid sabbatical from the Planet," Bruce tells him. "We thought you might . . . reconsider, once you'd grieved properly, so Lois pulled some strings with Perry White. He thinks you're having an early mid-life crisis and your co-workers think you're off finding yourself in South America with a bad cell phone plan." 

"I guess I don't believe in satellite phones?" Clark says, trying for wry again. It doesn't work, but he tries all the same. 

"This is unfair of me, but I'm going to take advantage of your current mental state," Bruce says. He's looking at the wall, though there's nothing there to actually be looking at. Not even anything on the other side, at least not according to X-ray vision. "Try to remember how you feel right now, when your memories of the past year return. Try to remember who you are right now, when those memories return."

"Why?" Clark asks, watching him carefully as he does. The corners of Bruce's mouth tighten. Just barely, but undeniably. 

"You've been . . . gone, Clark," Bruce says slowly. "You won't even answer to 'Clark' anymore. You aren't the same man that I . . . that we all . . ." 

The stranger comes back before Bruce has to admit to too many personal feelings or Clark can figure out what to say to any of that, which might be a mercy but might also be–

The stranger looks . . . strange, Clark notices. Nauseated, almost. And definitely distressed. 

"I haven't done brain scans on Superman before," they say, their grip on their clipboard concerningly close to white-knuckled. "And my predecessor apparently hadn't done any in a while either. Last ones in the system are over two years old." 

"What's wrong?" Bruce says, narrowing his eyes. Honestly at this point Clark figures a kryptonite brain tumor would really just be the icing on the cake, and frankly would probably explain some of his apparent behavioral changes and current memory loss. That genuinely makes more sense than anything else, really, even with grief and guilt to contend with.

More sense than abandoning his own damn kid does, at least. 

Although a tumor's the worst-case scenario, obviously. And it can't be any worse than that, really, or any worse than anything he's apparently done to his family this past year, so at least he's braced for–

"There's an . . . organism," the stranger says, swallowing uncomfortably. "In your brain." 

"What?" Clark says. 

"A dead organism, now," the stranger clarifies. "But it looks like it's been there for a while. There are . . . roots. And . . . lesions, too." 

"An organism," Bruce repeats very, very slowly. "In Superman's brain." 

"Yes," the stranger says. 

"I don't . . ." Clark trails off. 

"We need more scans," Bruce says. 

"I ran it four times on two different machines," the stranger says. "It's organic. It's not giving off any recognizable life signs. It seems like it might've been . . . you mentioned electrocution, before?" 

"You think the electricity killed it," Bruce realizes. "And then Superman forgot fourteen months?" 

"I'm not sure Superman ever experienced those fourteen months to begin with," the stranger says tightly, gripping their clipboard even harder. 

Clark was in no way whatsoever braced for this. 

"Fuck," Bruce says. 

More scans happen after all. A lot more scans, a lot of specialists, and a lot of arguing. Everything's a bit of a blur, in a sense. Clark absorbs very little of it, and mostly leaves things to Bruce unless he's asked a direct question about his medical history. His judgment might be compromised right now, after all, whether the . . . organism is dead or not. 

The emergency OR gets prepped. The red sun lamps get set up inside it. 

"Should we contact Lois?" Bruce asks as Clark's shrugging into an ill-fitting hospital gown and preparing himself to possibly die in pursuit of getting a dead who-knows-what out of his brain before it can start to rot there and potentially kill him that way. "Or your parents?" 

"No," Clark says. "Just get this damn thing out of my head." 

If he doesn't survive the removal process . . . 

They don't know what's been going on. What he let happen to himself, somehow.

He isn't going to tell them he's back just to immediately take himself away again. 

He records something for Jon, just in case. It's not enough, but it's–something, he tells himself. It's something. 

It's all he can bring himself to do. 

He leaves the disk with the recording on it with Bruce and asks him to have Dick deliver it, if it's necessary. 

Things proceed from there, and Clark wakes up again a week later in a private room in the med bay, connected to half a dozen machines and needles and tubes and directly facing the sun. Diana is dozing in the chair next to his bed. Bruce is pacing at the foot of it. They're both in costume. Clark feels weak and groggy, but he can hear half a dozen other heartbeats lingering in the hall, so presumably they were expecting him to wake up around now. 

"Mm," he says. Diana snaps awake. Bruce stops mid-step. 

They both look at him. 

"The operation was a success," Bruce informs him. "Textbook. Or as textbook as removing a mind-controlling parasite of unknown origins from a Kryptonian brain can get for mostly-human surgeons, anyway." 

"Do you need anything?" Diana asks. "Would you like us to call your family yet?" 

Clark shakes his head, then closes his eyes and sleeps for another week. 

"Sleep", he supposes, counts as something that he needs right now. 

The next time he wakes up, he's alone in his room and disconnected from the machines and just feels . . . normal, really. Like nothing was ever wrong at all and he didn't just have major surgery that was, essentially, the equivalent of multiple traumatic brain injuries. His hair is already starting to grow back from where it was buzzed down for the surgery, and there's not even any bandages on his head. 

There's no noticeable scarring, Clark observes when he makes it to the little ensuite bathroom to take a look in the mirror. The surgeons told him there probably wouldn't be, given both the methods they'd been intending to use and the nature of his own physiology, but seeing the total lack of proof of what happened to him is just . . . strange, somehow. 

It feels almost like a cheat. Like it should be obvious, in some way. 

There was a parasite in his head. Something controlling him. Pretending to be him. Passing for him. It could've done anything it wanted. 

It did do things that Clark still has no idea about. 

So many things. 

He couldn't even fight it. Wasn't conscious or aware enough to, or just not strong enough to, or just . . . 

He couldn't even fight it. 

And he doesn't know what it did. 

The door opens. Diana walks in. 

"Would you like us to call your family now?" she asks. 

"Yes," Clark says roughly, curling his fingers around the sides of the sink in front of him. "Please." 

"Of course," Diana says with a terrible and merciless gentleness. 

Clark sits down on the lid of the toilet and just . . . cries. Just for a minute. 

Or twenty. 

Diana kneels in front of him and holds his hands in her own. 

Fourteen months, Clark thinks, all twisted up with grief and pain and so, so much regret. He missed so much. He wasn't there for Jon or Lois or his parents. He wasn't there for Bruce or Diana or the League, for either of Kara, for . . . 

For Kon. He wasn't there for Kon. 

Wasn't there for Kon when the kid needed him. 

Kon completely vanished, and who knows if the damn parasite even pretended to help look for him? If it did anything at all for him? Who knows if Clark could've found him, could've saved him, if he'd still been himself at the time? 

. . . who knows if the parasite isn't what made Kon disappear to begin with? 

It took fourteen months of Clark's life, and Kon . . . Kon disappeared two weeks into those fourteen months. 

If nothing else, the timing is a screaming red flag. 

Clark abandoned his son and might've murdered a kid who only ever looked up to him, a kid who he was never really able to fully understand but literally named, and he can't do anything to bring Kon back or to make up for the year that he wasn't there for the rest of his family. 

Their family. 

God, what has he done? What has Clark done, and did Kon die feeling afraid or shocked or terrified? Did he die feeling betrayed? Did he think it was Clark doing it, however it happened? 

Did he die thinking Clark wanted him to die? 

Clark doesn't even know what happened to his body. 

There won't be another resurrection.  

Clark chokes. Diana squeezes his hands. He grips hers like a lifeline and shudders through it. The grief is a terrible, ugly thing. It's one of the worst things Clark's ever felt. 

The guilt is worse. 

"Lois," he murmurs finally, feeling like the weakest man alive. "Could you call . . . Lois, please, and just . . . ask if she'll come. I'll explain it all to her, just–could you call her, please." 

"Yes," Diana says, squeezing his hands again. "Of course." 

"Thank you," Clark says. 

He pulls himself together, more or less, and Diana goes to make the call. She comes back a few minutes later and tells him Lois agreed, but needs to find a babysitter first. Clark in no way blames her for not bringing Jon along and frankly is surprised she's willing to come at all. 

He's not sure what he could even say to Jon right now. 

What can he? 

Diana makes sure he eats something, then leaves for monitor duty. Clark tries not to overthink things. Tries not to think too much at all. 

He spent fourteen months not thinking at all, though, all of it lost in one oblivious blink, so that doesn't work out all that well for him. 

An hour later, he hears the Zeta platform activate on the opposite side of the base, and hears Lois's heartbeat appear inside the watchtower. 

Clark exhales, very slowly. 

He waits. 

Lois comes to the med bay. She doesn't stop to talk to anyone on the way. Doesn't talk to anyone except that stranger Clark still doesn't actually know the name of, who tells her where to find him. 

And then a minute or a millennium later she's standing in the open doorway of his room, and Clark is looking at her. Her expression is neutral, and her hair is shorter than it was the last time he remembers seeing her–the last time he was the one actually seeing her. An inverse bob, not shoulder-length anymore. He recognizes the blazer and heels that she's wearing, but not the blouse or the pants. Not the earrings or the necklace, either. 

And there's no wedding ring to recognize either way. 

Clark wonders what happened to his. 

God, but she's still the most amazing woman he's ever seen, and he's still never once deserved a single part of her. Not even a fraction of a part. 

Especially not now. 

"Kal," she greets, tone just as neutral as her expression, and Clark aches. 

"Clark," he says, just a little too abrupt, and Lois–pauses. 

"Clark," she amends casually as she tucks her hands into the pockets of her blazer, and if he didn't know her quite so well he wouldn't have even heard the crack in her voice around his name, super-hearing or not. "Never seen your hair this short. I kinda miss the curl, not gonna lie. It has charm, you know? Very boy scout next door." 

"I had emergency brain surgery," Clark says. Lois pauses again. Tilts her head. He keeps talking. "Two weeks ago, now. Just woke up again fully today." 

"What?" she says, just staring at him. "You–what happened?" 

"It's . . . unclear, still," Clark replies slowly. "But as far as we can tell, roughly fourteen months back an unidentified alien parasite moved into my brain and . . . took me over, essentially. I don't actually–I don't remember any of that time. At all. Then two weeks ago I got electrocuted in Keystone and the parasite died. The surgery was to remove its body so my brain could heal from the damage it did without it rotting in there." 

Lois keeps staring at him. 

"Fourteen months," she echoes very, very carefully. 

"I'm so sorry," Clark says tightly. "Bruce told me I left you. Left you and Jon. That I stopped being . . . myself. I can't imagine how difficult that was, or how it must've felt." 

"I can't imagine how waking up and hearing that none of us even noticed you were gone felt," Lois says. 

"You never do pull a punch, do you," Clark says with a weak attempt at a smile. 

"I'm sorry," Lois says evenly. "I should've known." 

"No one did," Clark says, then . . . hesitates. "Or . . . we think no one did." 

"You think that's what happened to Kon," Lois says, because of course she's already done the math, and of course she's already had the thought herself. Obviously she would've. 

"The timing is . . . likely, at least," Clark says. "And really, if anyone was going to see my face and notice that a different person was wearing it . . ."

"You have a point," Lois murmurs. She steps into the room. Clark wants to hold her. He also wants to bury himself in the coldest, darkest place that he can find and never, ever let himself see the sun again. 

He doesn't deserve it anymore. 

"I'm so angry that I want to cry," Lois says, her voice very distant and her eyes locked on his. Clark can see her hands fisting in her pockets. "I'm so . . . god. I should've known. You never would've left Jon. Not like that." 

"Bruce made it sound like the parasite was . . . very convincing," Clark says. It convinced Bruce, who may just be the most paranoid mind on the planet, so . . .

"It was," Lois agrees, still without taking her eyes off his. "But I still should've known." 

Clark blinks a little too quickly. Lois tightens her jaw. Takes her hands out of her pockets and leaves them at her sides instead. Clark never thought he'd see them without her wedding ring again. 

"It's been–months, I know," he says, hating himself for thinking he even deserves to say this. "For you. But I still . . ." 

"I love you," Lois says. "Come home." 

There is no possible world in which he could tell her "no". 

Med bay makes him wait for another two hours of observation and runs some scans, but then they let him go. Lois waits with him the whole time. She doesn't call anyone or send any texts. Doesn't leave the room. Barely says a word. Hardly even takes her eyes off him, like she thinks if she blinks he's going to disappear. 

Clark can hardly keep her heartbeat out of his ears, so he doesn't blame her. 

He doesn't blame her at all. 

They go to Smallville. Bruce had said he'd send Dick to pick up Jon from the babysitter's and get him to the farm, and as much as Clark had wanted to go straight to him himself . . . 

Ma and Pa first, he reminds himself. This is going to be upsetting for Jon–most likely traumatic, once it all sinks in. And definitely disorienting. It'll be best if as many of the adults in his life as possible know what's going on in advance, so he can go to whoever he needs to go to; get whatever comfort they can prepare themselves to offer. 

Clark doesn't know how to do this. 

He doesn't . . . 

They don't take two steps onto the farm before a familiar blur is crashing into him head-on. 

"Oh," Clark manages, and Krypto barks excitedly and flies up to lick his face, tail wagging wildly as he jumps all over him. Like he's missed him. Like he's been waiting for him. 

Clark nearly cries again.

"Good boy, Krypto," he tells him, quiet and rough. "I missed you too, boy." 

He scratches Krypto's ears. Strokes his back. Krypto nearly bowls him over in delight. 

Clark buries his face in his neck and cries a bit after all. 

Lois watches. 

Waits. 

Clark spends . . . maybe a little bit too long crying on his dog, and then they all head up to the house. Ma and Pa are both standing on the porch; presumably they heard Krypto barking. They both look a little bit startled and a little bit confused and a lot more pained at the sight of him, and Clark swallows painfully and stops just before the porch steps. 

He looks at them, and he loves them so desperately. Everything they ever did for him, and everything they've ever been to him, and . . . 

"I'm sorry," he says. "I just . . . there was . . ."

God, the way this hurts. 

"It was mind control," he says. "The past fourteen months or so. I was . . . I wasn't. Wasn't here. Or . . . anywhere." 

"Oh," Ma says, and her eyes are instantly wet with tears. Pa blinks very quickly, his hand curling against the porch railing. 

"I'm so, so sorry," Clark repeats tightly, his own hands in useless fists. "But I'm–back now. I'm home." 

"Oh, Clark," Ma chokes, and then they both throw themselves at him. Clark's been hugged by people with strength far past superhuman, but it's never felt . . . 

No. It's never once felt the same way as when his parents do it. 

They cling to him. He clings back. Krypto barks again and swoops around the knot of them, wagging his tail hard enough to nearly knock Lois over with the force of wind it stirs up. Definitely some of the porch furniture gets displaced. 

Clark feels so much. 

They sit together on the porch, Krypto sprawled contentedly across Clark's lap and Lois on the steps beside him. Clark gives Ma and Pa what explanation he can–tells them everything he knows about Keystone and the electrocution and the watchtower and the surgery and waking up. They watch him just as intently as Lois does the entire time. 

He doesn't . . . he doesn't mention his suspicions about what might've happened to Kon. Not . . . not yet. 

He doesn't know how to. Not to Ma and Pa. Not after he brought the kid here and left him on their doorstep with no real direction and . . . 

Just–he'll tell them. He'll tell them soon. 

Just . . . not yet. 

It's not a very long talk, in the end. Ma and Pa take in everything he says and just take it all in stride, just like they always have. Baby in a spaceship? Kid with superpowers? Son who thinks he can save the whole damn world? 

Of course they take it in stride. 

Clark loves them too much to even define. Too much to even wrap his own head around. They're the best people he knows. The best people he's ever known. 

They don't even think there's anything for him to be sorry for. 

It's . . . painful, a little, when Clark realizes that. 

Or a lot. 

So, so damn painful. 

Clark hears the definitely-not-a-Batmobile coming, far down the road. Three heartbeats inside it. Dick, Damian, and . . . 

Jon. 

Obviously. 

Clark strokes Krypto's ears one last time, then gets up. No one asks him why, but he supposes the look on his face must be answer enough right now. 

He steps off the porch and goes to wait by the driveway. 

It's not that long a wait, but it feels like the better part of eternity.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.

because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.

and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.

anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!

i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else

i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through

and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .

but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:

[neteyamslovrr]

KXANI - pt5

summary: you have never fit in with the scientists, but on the night jake was lost in the forest so were you. staying with the people was your one true dream, yet when you are anything but welcome and jake get's to experience the people. you find yourself seeking comfort in tsu'tey

contents: 3.2k words (yas), fem!avatar reader, so much angst, a bit of swearing, tsu'tey being sad like so sad

authors note: hardcore angst soz gal pals, i promise i am sorry

all parts - next part

┌────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────┐

The day had finally come. Where Jake becomes one of the people and you are truly outcasted to be alone. No one to understand your loneliness as an outsider in the clan. No one to understand the struggles of being so useless, even if Jake had no interest in helping you anyway. No. Because he was now one of them.

One of the people you had only dreamed and yearned to be part of. One of the people you had begged fate to bring you to only for fate to let you watch your dream as if you were trapped behind a window.

A month ago, you hoped that maybe the pain of watching Jake take your dream away would be eased by having the one man who had the kindness to try and understand you be there to say, 'you are next'.

But now, he pushed you away and treated knowing you as a disgusting smudge of shit that has plagued his life. No longing gaze, prayer, or attempt of communication could ever heal the rift in between you and Tsu'tey. All that was left was going back to your ways of hiding away from the people and trying to grasp a sense of belonging off the scraps that were thrown towards you.

The absence of Tsu’tey in your daily life was a pain you had never felt before. It was a constant dull ache, that scratched at your insides as your heart craved for the comfort of his presence. Even if it was just to call you a demon, to tell you that you were a bad fisher or for him to grunt at your discomfort. It meant something. It all fucking meant something. You just wanted your little trips back. Your daily walks through the forest were he would complain about your likeness as a sky-demon but use his most gentle language, so you knew he cared. You thought he fucking cared.

So, as you stared and watch Jake emerge with his symbolic white paint adorning his blue body, you teared up. But it wasn’t the tears that Grace was shedding. No. These were jealous tears, angry tears. You wanted to close your eyes and there you would be, in the middle of the woven arms of the Omaticaya. But…that was just a hope. You had done nothing to earn that right. You were useless to the Omaticaya, keeping you around like a pet. Just like Tsu’tey had said. You were a parasite.

Soon the long night of celebrations erupted. The people cheering and smiling as the globe orbited. The exotic sounds of singing and majestic displays of dancing were invigorating. You watched as Grace danced along with the many children that she had taught, you could see her heart physically melt every time as she saw a smile on the children’s face. Or there was Jake who was stuffing his face full of a large assortment of meats and fruits specifically gathered to celebrate him. He was surrounded by Neytiri and Tsu’tey, smiling, talking to him animatedly. Except for Tsu’tey. He sat there solemnly, a frown permanently etched into his face. He exuded sadness, his posture hunched, and eyes focused on a random spot in the sky as he disconnected from the conversation in front of him.

Truthfully, he was just as distraught as you were, yet he felt so shameful for his feelings. Unlike you who had accepted your feelings and knew it was too good to be true if he ever reciprocated them. Tsu’tey was left feeling as if he didn’t know himself. He was meant to be Olo’eyktan, mated to Neytiri, protector of the people. Yet, here he was craving for the affections of a sky-person, a demon that he wanted nothing more than to leave him and his people alone. But he knows if you were ever to leave he might crumble into a shell of a person and never recover.

He remember the feeling of your warm grasp around him as you flew together. He remembers the warm feeling in his heart as he felt you relax against him. He remembers the overflowing sense of peace that engulfed him when you were around, the way you reminded him of an atokirina, so pure, so kind. He just wanted you. But as he sat with Jake and with the energy of his people surrounding him he knew that it was too good to be true. That loving you is a mistake. That letting his guard down and letting you in only resulted in hurt, and that no matter how strong his desire for you is. He would never be able to hold you like he wanted to. To love you like he wanted to.

So as he looked around, breaking out of his dissociative state he saw you sat in a corner by yourself. You had isolated yourself from the party chewing on one of the outlandish fruits that were spread across platters of food. He saw the way your chest was sunken and your gaze focused on the ground below you. He noticed the way you barely ate the fruit you were holding, that it was just sitting in your hand.

Tsu’tey felt his heart grow heavy as he saw you sniffle. As he noticed that you were alone.  No one, not even Grace trying to make conversation with you. Was he all you had? He plagued himself with this question. Was he saving himself from the condemnation of loving an alien just to leave the one he so desperately covets for to be tortured with loneliness.

“Jake, why is she sitting alone? Invite her over.” Neytiri’s voice broke Tsu’tey out of his deprecating thoughts as the entirety of the group was now was staring over at you. Not so discreetly.

“No, I don’t think she should come over…she’s um.” Jake just desperately didn’t want you near him. To him he thought you told Tsu’tey to threaten him. Today was his day, he didn’t need your sad sap self to ruin the mood. Even though the man next to him was already doing that.

Tsu’tey felt his blood pressure rise, the disrespect dribbling out of Jake’s mouth so effortlessly, that he didn’t have to do anything but give you a harsh stare that made Tsu’tey want to hammer his head in. “She’s what?” He hissed at the new warrior, venom dripping off his tongue earning a harsh glare from Neytiri.

“Nothing…” Jake turned around to usher you towards the group. Looking up to see them all stare at you expectantly made you want to hurl. The whirlwind of emotions you were already experiencing definitely wasn’t going to be eased by a conversation with two men who hated you.

The walk over to the group was painstakingly awkward as they all hesitantly waited for you to get close enough to start making conversation. You heart was pounding as you realised how harshly Tsu’tey was gazing at you, that he tried so little to cover his distaste of your presence. You didn’t want to be near him, nor did you want to be near Jake. But who were you to refuse an offer from the higher ups in the clan. You’d be an idiot to decline.

It was instinctual, that Tsu’tey scooted over on the log that he was sat on to make room for you. The action puzzled the both of you. Tsu’tey was ashamed of his behaviour, that he should not still be so accepting of your company but how could he not move over when all he wanted was to feel your warm body up against his.

It puzzled you, as he made space for you to sit with a permanent expression of disgust etched onto his face. You sat down next to him, arms brushing slightly. You heard a faint gasp leave Tsu’tey’s mouth leaving you humiliated as he scooted further away from you to avoid touching you again. You wanted to recoil in on yourself, the feeling of anxiety bubbling in your gut as you felt all of their eyes tear you apart. 

“So, what have you been doing lately?” Neytiri turned to you with a glint of interest sparkling in her eyes as she propped her chin up with her hands. You could see the disinterest run off Jake’s face as you inhaled to start talking.

“Um, not much. I just kind of go to the forest and just look at the plants.”

Tsu’tey could feel his body growing stiffer. He couldn’t stand being so close to you. He felt as if he was on fire with desire. That he wanted to go onto his knees and beg for forgiveness as you continued to talk, the sadness in your tone driving him insane.

“I thought you went there with Tsu’tey.” Jake knew about you and Tsu’tey’s recent estrangement. He heard you weep about it to Grace. So as he said it with a sad tone and slight smirk on his face, you felt as if you wanted to slit his throat and watch him bleed out.

Tsu’tey audibly growled at Jake. He knew what he was doing, he saw the way Jake’s lip twitched in amusement as he saw you awkwardly shrink in your seat.

“No, Tsu’tey is busy.”

“Trust me Y/N, Tsu’tey does a lot of nothing.” Neytiri giggled in a friendly tone, earning harsh glares from both of the men.

“I do not! At least I am not scurrying away with this skxwang every day.” Tsu’tey snapped back at Neytiri. It wasn’t an actual argument. It was like seeing two child best friends brawl in their usual way.

“Scurrying is my duty.”

“Yeah and you love it.” Jake chuckled earning a light push from Neytiri.

The friendly bickering truly made you feel out of place. Watching them all bicker and tease each other. It simply made you long to escape your loneliness. It made you wonder if coming to this planet was even worth it.

But as you turned to see the beautiful man beside you as he glimmered in the starlight, his white freckles sparkling like diamonds. That even if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings or even know they exist. Meeting Tsu’tey would be a good enough excuse to live lifetimes of this feeling if you could experience his comforting presence once again.

“Me and Jake are going to take a walk.” Neytiri smiled at Jake, earning a scowl from Tsu’tey. Tsu’tey wasn’t stupid, he knew they loved each other. Maybe a couple months ago he would have been livid about this, but now he understood. That no one can be forced into loving another, but they can be true to their duties.

“A walk? Then I’ll go and leave you all then.” Brushing off your legs you hurried to get up before Jake smirked down at you as Neytiri started to walk off.

“No don’t leave, Tsu’tey would get lonely. Wouldn’t you brother?” Tsu’tey hissed at him, making the feeing of dread feel as if it was engulfing you whole. Did he really not want to be alone with you so bad he was threatening Jake?

“Jake stop being a skxwang, c’mon!” Neytiri groaned impatiently waiting for Jake to follow her. Jake gave a chuckle as he got up, not forgetting to leave you with a wicked smirk that showed you that this was his revenge for being threatened.

As Jake and Neytiri left the feeling of impending doom was growing larger as it engulfed both you and Tsu’tey. You couldn’t bare to look at him, scared he would banish you from being in his sights ever again.

But that’s not what Tsu’tey was thinking. He was frozen, he couldn’t deal with your presence, it felt as if your scent was suffocating him. More worried about the fact that he would get addicted to it, never be able to go without. He should be leaving, getting up in a hurry but he couldn’t get himself to. Not while you were enticing him with nothing but your aura.

“I- I should probably go then.” He heard the way your voice cracked, a way to show that you were fighting off a wave of tears. Tsu’tey’s head spun towards you in a split-second, the want was so obvious in his eyes, it kicked the breath out of your lungs.

He didn’t want you to go. He needed you here. He felt himself deteriorating seeing the pain he caused for you. He wanted to engulf you in an embrace and run his hands through your hair, but he should never. He has roles, duties, you can’t take that away from him.

“No.”

“What? You want me to stay?” Tsu’tey was shouting at himself in the back of his mind. Of course, he wanted you to stay. He craved nothing more than that.

“Where will you go? You can’t go into the forest at night.” Sucking a deep breath in you tried to compose yourself in front of him. The more he talked to you, the more you heard his deep voice it made you want to burst into tears.

“I will probably go and sit by myself. Won’t bother you with my parasitic presence.” He winced at the word. A word he’s said to hurt you before and a word that you now spat back at him with malice dripping off of your tone.

“Your not a parasite baby-demon.” He couldn’t help but let the nickname slip, and as it rolled off his tongue and he saw the way your face contorted into a pained expression he truly felt as if he was sinking into the floor below him.

“Don’t call me that.” Your lip was beginning to quiver. Why was he so hot and cold with you. Was he toying with your heart as a game, revelling in seeing you desperately love him. Seeing the way his eyes bleed with forgiveness, it was all just a tug on your heart. “I’m going.”

“No.” He grabbed onto your wrist. His nimble fingers feeling as if they were scorching into your skin. Why was he toying with you? With your heart?

“STOP IT.” Turning to face him you screeched at him, voice cracking, tears beginning to fall as your entire body shook trying to stop sobs racking through you. Tsu’tey didn’t let go of your hand, he only held onto it tighter. He didn’t expect you to shrill at him, but seeing you so upset, so distraught, it was destroying him. Just like he was destroying you. “Just stop it Tsu’tey! One day we fly together on an ikran and share our burdens only for you to say that being kind to me was a mistake! That I am nothing to you! Then you go back to toying with my heart! That I’m your baby demon again! You’re cruel Tsu’tey. Stop fucking with my feelings.”

Tsu’tey was taken back. You said so many things that threw him for a loop. He wasn’t toying with you, he didn’t want to see you hurt, all he wanted was to fulfill his duty. He never wanted to cause you this much pain. He never wanted to see you beg him for kindness.

But what shocked him most was that you asked him to stop messing with your feelings. Feelings of love? The same ones that he so passionately has for you. The same feelings that made him feel as if he didn’t know who he was. You had those too? You loved him too?

“Feelings?” It was a meek whisper. Something he rarely does, the softness in his voice being something no one ever witnessed. You rolled your eyes at him, scoffing at his confusion.

“Yes feelings. I understand that I am a demon, an alien to you. But I have fucking feelings.” You were close to hysterics now, the utter shame and embarrassment that was consuming you was suffocating. How did he have such little consideration for you in this moment.

“I know- I know you have feelings. Feelings towards me?” His eyes were wide with hope. He just needed a confession, not that he would do much with it. He couldn’t, but he had to know. He had to know if your heart ached the same way when you two were separated. If you went to sleep thinking of him and dreamt of him as you slept just as he did for you. He had to know that he wasn’t alone in his feelings, that he wasn’t crazy for falling in love with a demon, because his baby demon loved him too.

“Are you joking?” He shook his head rapidly, eyes blown wide, ever hopeful for an answer. An answer that would tell him he isn’t the only one witlessly in love. “You are the only person on this planet that has shown an ounce of kindness towards me. Do you blaming me for loving you?”

The confession kicked the air out of Tsu’tey making him feel as if he was choking on his own feelings. So many thoughts were running through his head. Did he push away the woman he loved? Did he pain the woman that loved him? How was he so cruel to your feelings?

But in the back of his mind, he knew it was useless. He can’t be in love with a demon. No matter how much that demon loves him and how much he feels empty without you by his side.  

“I don’t blame you. But I think you should go now.” It was like he had slapped you in the face. You had spilled your heart out to him, cried and screamed and this was all he could do? But Tsu’tey couldn’t do anything else, and you knew that. He was promised, it wasn’t as if you expected him to fall to his knees and confess his love.

No, you knew he would never do that. Not while he breathed. But all of your heart yearned for him, you wanted to be back on his ikran as his baby demon. So as you scoffed in his face and wiped your tears away. You walked away with a shattered heart due to Tsu’tey. The man you adored and the man you loved. It was pitiful to think that you could have a chance with him, wasn’t it?

Watching you walk away defeated he felt himself crumble. He was meant to be a strong man, but he felt like a lost child without you around. How did he continue to fuck up constantly. Why was he not deserving of a lover that loved him? Why was he to be mated to someone else when all he craved was you and your heart. It was all too late now, he can’t have you and you can’t have him. He’ll gaze at you and wonder if he made the right decision, knowing he regretted it the second it came out of his mouth. But this was his sacrifice for his people, and you weren’t one of the people.

└────── ⋆☆⋆ ──────┘

tags: @koolaidmanscaresme @suntizme @forestcottage @avatarlover21 @mechformers @jennielune @dilfs-bitch @simplefools @merla123 @awkward-halfhug @atwow69 @scarlettisconfusedd @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @elegantkidfansoull @tarrynightss @randxmthxughts @ronalsgirl @gardenofvows @zitarcis @i-thirsty-boii @lin0leum @lovekeehoo @notyurdad @supercoolusernamesblog @cupidddd-d @im-in-a-pansexual-panikanik @saltedcoffeescotch @jakesullysslutttt @valentineheartzz @eywas-heir @perilous-pasta @fanboyluvr @asd3ku @atsukiswrld @moonpie3000 @coffeeaddictednymph @anangelwhodidntfall @snips-501 @dangerouslittlefairy @chaos-in-person @rebeccao03 @adaydreamaway08 @jellybeanstacey0519 @graykageyama @aracelikara @live-laugh-neteyam @sam-chwan @netherklutz @pajerita19 @ducks118 @glacticrose @kadu-5607 @rainbowsocks @star-dusst @cries-maria @mollygetssherlockcoffee

reblogs and replies i will give u 1billion roses mhm yup

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[mindmelter]

My Pet Wants Brains - Sergey

This thing on top of his head, this was Sergey's brain, or at least what used to be his brain. After I threw my slimy Alien pet on this Russian man's face while he was at the bench press, my Alien pet quickly crawled inside his ears and started to assimilate his Brain.

I watched as the big muscled stud convulsed on the floor. I got hard just by watching his big strong muscles flexing involuntarily as his brain was being assimilated. Glad that I found this huge Russian stud lifting alone.

After a few seconds he stood up and sat on the bench with an empty face expression.

You see, as a good pet owner, I have to feed my pet, it just happens that my pet is a parasite from another world who feeds only by assimilating It's form with human brains.

The gym is just the perfect place I found to feed him. Here there's plenty of dumb muscle heads for him to feed on, and It's not like they use those tiny brains anyway.

"Mooore" Sergey murmured with a zombie like voice.

"Sorry buddy, but that's enough for today, let's go home now"

"Mooore...I want mooore" His eyes then rolled back and a pink slime creature crawled out of his ears and got on top of Sergey's head.

"Get inside his head right now before someone sees you!"

"No! More first, then obey!" he shouted with Sergey's deep intimidating voice. I looked around worriedly, his booming voice could attract unwanted attention, gladly, the gym was empty at this time of night.

Ok, I will not accept this kind of disrespect, I'm his owner and he should obey me. I needed to show him he didn't intimidate me even if he was inside a big muscle hunk.

"Goober, No! Bad boy! You're being a bad boy, get inside his head right now!"

I knew he didin't liked to be called a bad boy, he seemed to understand and got inside Sergei's head.

He then looked at me with Sergey's pleading eyes.

"Goober sorry for being bad boy" He said softly now.

I just rolled my eyes. I couldn't get mad at a face like that. I patted his head like a dog and smiled at him.

"Fine, let's see if we can find another hunk for you." Having two hunks to play tonight wouldn't be a bad Idea after all.

[sytokun]

Watching the Spider-verse crunch discussion going on in relation to RWBY and the whole #GreenlightVolume10 thing has been interesting to say the least.

Of course, there's many fucked up people who don't care about the crunch, and even endorse it since ATSV did so well; but from what I've seen, most people have been sympathetic and acknowleged that waiting for the third movie to be finished in due time and treating the workers well is far better than rushing the conclusion to what could be one of the greatest animated film trilogies of the decade.

You make your best work when you don't have the gut-curling dread of unemployment and impossible deadlines hanging like a sword over your head. ASTV could have been even more amazing without the crunch.

Good God, if only we had voices this loud in the RWBY fandom. If only the RWBY fandom's loudest voices were the ones who advocate for ethical treatment above everything else, and not the ones pushing to get more RWBY content made above everything else, fighting tooth and nail and lining the parasitic company's pockets to see their beloved franchise continue, regardless of who would be ground to dust to make it happen.

I've seen many animators and artists saying they worked on shows most people look down on like Big Mouth and Mulan, and saying those productions treated them far better and they felt way better working on them, in spite of the end quality of the product. It made me at least respect the work more, because even if it was disliked, at least the people making it didn't have to suffer making it, or even gained much from it.

But with RWBY, it's a lose-lose game. The show's writing and animation quality is fleeting at best -- certainly nowhere near the level of Spider-verse. Its great moments are always undermined by the absolute worst writing decisions and character derailment in modern fiction. Outside of its core fandom, RWBY is the fucking laughing stock of the greater anime community and this is sheer fact. Nobody takes it seriously and every Tuesday a RWBY fan is going around picking fights with other anime communities or with other RWBY fans. I love RWBY but it does no favours for its own reputation at all.

If the workers making RWBY were treated well, I could care less how many Volumes they make and their quality, or how much of a laughing stock it is. But this is Rooster fucking Teeth we're talking about. Do you really think if they cared about RWBY's quality, they'd wipe out their entire animation department all at once after V9? This means every Volume's production is a literal coin-flip because there's no time to build a functioning team there with established lead animators.

So you guys want to bleed these animators and artists dry, just to get the same mediocre product anyway? Rooster Teeth had 2 years to perfect the script of Volume 9 to the finest detail and still somehow took a page out of GEN: Lock's universally hated suicide plot for their climax. We had the goodwill to give them 2 years to make V9 the best it could be, and they took that goodwill to cut episodes from it and go make the JL crossover movie instead. And even if we still get the same mediocre product, we fucking know like 80% of everyone who's worked on it are going to be crunched to the bone and left without a job afterwards, so there's not even the comfort of the staff having a good work experience or stable employment from it.

Every single thing I liked about Volume 9's action scenes, environments or characters, I have to live with the fact that the person responsible for it may never return to RWBY's production to keep making it better. There was a fight animator you really loved? Too bad! RT didn't find them valuable enough so they went elsewhere to offer their skills to Trigun: Stampede or Spider-verse instead. Oops! Those animated stories ended up doing really well are are praised for their amazing animation! Sucks that we didn't keep them around for RWBY, huh?

So, why the fuck is the fandom fighting so hard for Volume 10 then? Certainly it's not for the now non-existent animators occupying their empty offices, which as we speak Rooster Teeth is clamouring to fill job openings for. I wish the RWBY fandom knows that by pushing for Volume 10 just out of sheer stubborn attachment, they are not on the good side here, and never will be. No amount of emotional music and stellar fights are going to justify knowingly putting animators through the grindstone for another year or more, only to be tossed out until they are needed again.

You think I like this either? I really fucking don't. I believe RWBY deserves to see itself through to the end. I love its cast and world and want more people to give it a chance, if only to properly understand what they're dismissing. But real people are the cost here.

I don't care how "complicated" or nuanced you think it is because you have some imaginary box of who you think in CRWBY are good or not, or what scraps of representation you think people's livelihoods are worth ruining over -- it really is not. Either the workers are going to be sacrificed on the altar of your attachment to a fictional show, their mental health and compensation only a secondary concern, or you think that this shit is evil and should never be allowed to fucking happen.

And if the Spider-verse situation hasn't made that line clear already, then I seriously ask you to reevaluate whatever sliver of humanity you have remaining.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

k, m, n, t for pd and/or suck!!! >:33333

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

-> you know i gotta say wiwi. i have to. that character was Made For Me i swear to GOD . genuinely i cannot think about prime defenders season 2 episode 39 without feeling physically sick bc i love it so much. its the only one i havent relistened to since i heard it the first time. i KNOW its gonna make me cry again so i genuienly have not touched it even though theres things in there i need to hear again for character research. his arc is so like. narratively satisfying in a way that hits me so fucking deep to my core in an extremely personal way. and like. there were definitely some Decisions that i was REALLY ANNOYING about hating when they were brought up because im used to media with bad storytelling/creators that do not care about their characters but. looking back on it i would not change a single thing about it. i love you wiwi so much.

-> FOR SUCK.... its not over yet. so i cannot definitively say. campaign finale comes out tomorrow so my answer may change depending on that but for right now i think i gotta say arthur. i joke a lot about hating arthur for no real reason in particular but. man his story is just REALLY good. not going 2 give you suck spoilers (hehe) but i also really like how shilo has grown through the campaign. hes my little guy :]

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

-> TIDE. TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDE TIDE TIDE I LOVE TIDE SO MUCH. thats my dad thats my best friend i love tide so much dude. every time he is mentioned or on screen i am just like :D HI TIDE I LOVE YOU TIDE

-> grefgore :] light of my life this is how i feel anytime i think about grefgore

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

-> CHARACTER STUDIES. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I LIKE A GOOD SHIPPING FIC AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY BUT PLEASE GOD WRITE THEM IN CHARACTER. EXPLORE THEIR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AND WHY THEY MAKE CERTAIN DECISIONS THE WAY THEY DO. this doesnt even go for just pd and suck this is like. true for every single fandom ive ever fucking been in. do you know how hard it is to find character studies in the danny phantom tag on ao3. nobody has even fucking watched the show how are they going to write character studies they just want (<< i cannot legally finish this sentence without getting in so much trouble) I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF AROUND HERE. ALL I EVER WRITE ARE CHARACTER STUDIES BC THATS THE WAY I THINK ABOUT CHARACTERS. I LOVE THEIR MOTIVATIONS I LOVE TO GET INSIDE THEIR BRAINS LIKE A LITTLE PARASITE AND IT IS ALWAYS SURPRISING TO ME WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT THINK LIKE THIS. (edit im just now reading through this and realized the question says three things. i did not process that. my three things are all more character studies please)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

-> oh dude i have so many hmmmmmmm how to choose just one. i have a LOT of feelings about wiwis original death and i might write something about that when i can get over my shrimp emotions about him. dakota cole audhd truther but that ones pretty much canon anyway so i dont think it counts. vyncent and his relationship with growing up in fantasy world and then being thrown into prime and how he adjusted to that. I think he really lies shitty syfy channel type horror movies that are so stupidly bad. and also plays a lot of video games but again i think thats mostly canon already. i think tide listens to dad rock but also like. ocean man by ween. you already know about my william and ashe being each others emotional support at concerts. i think william and ashe should hang out and do emo kid things more. i also have a lot of feelings about ashe and coping with the crippling loneliness of basically growing up alone and how the pd becoming like INSTANT best friends was so much for him in sooo many ways. you already know how i feel about mark i am in the middle of dissecting him like im in a high school biology class as we speak. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know im gonna think of something really good after i hit the post button so stay tuned

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 22

Alright, now onto the episode where we are supposed to sympathize with Andre! Emphasis on "supposed to."

There are several things I could focus on with this episode. I could call attention to the show arbitrarily trying to have Caline attempt to reach out to Chloe only to get her gesture slapped away, despite the prior episode having her "realize there isn't any good in her" at the end. We could focus on how Gabe is once more being painted as sympathetic, alongside Nathalie, because of videos from Emilie, despite the fact that they've known about those videos all this time and knowingly chose to go against her wishes anyway, even though they had known for YEARS that she was going to die. There is a lot I could focus on.

But no, what I'm going to focus on is the episode trying to depict Andre as sympathetic and honestly failing. This episode tries to double-down on the idea that Andre secretly isn't a bad guy... but that's wrong. No matter how pushy or bratty his daughter and wife might be, Andre is a grown man, one that has basically been mayor longer then the majority of the cast has been alive, with his wife spending ninety percent of her time overseas, long enough that she had a kid with someone else (not that the series ever acknowledges this!!).

This episode tries to frame Andre as having no choice but to obey Chloe's whims... and anyone, and I do mean ANYONE, who has kids should know that that is a load of horse shit. Andre goes out of his way in this episode to downplay or ignore his actions, and treats his running away from the consequences of his own actions as some noble deed, rather then cowardice. His claims that "City Hall is no longer for sale" is a farce; by abandoning his position, he is, if anything, making it MORE vulnerable because there is no guarantee that whoever replaces him won't be able to be manipulated, and he's leaving all the damage he inflicted on the city over the course of his tenure in place. The man is a coward, and a social parasite of the highest order.

Beyond that, I think it's time to get onto the review. There is too much to go over and too little that I can use to accurately express my frustration. I hope you aren't disappointed, but please mind the profanity.

Episode 22: Collusion

Alright, we open with Gabe monologuing to his wife, once again ignoring how he's going against her wishes for his own selfish inability to let go and move the fuck on with his life, WHY DO WE KEEP DOING THIS SHIT!?!? Also, he mentions something about a cycle. Now, if this were a better written story, this might hint towards there being some kind of time loop going on, or what have you... but it's not, and I've got no fucking clue what this asshole means.

Considering we literally had it revealed this Season that Emilie explicitly DID NOT WANT HIM to pursue the Miraculouses in her name, him saying he swore in her name that he would reunite them feels disgusting on multiple levels. He is explicitly using her as justification for his own obsession, with no regard for the harm he's caused his son in the process. Get bent, asshole.

And now we get Nathalie watching the videos from Emilie who is trying to justify Gabe's actions by how he just gets too focused on his goals and that he's doing it all to make his wife happy, all while ignoring how this season has literally shown Gabe ignoring his son's happiness on every level and trying to dictate his life. You can't try and paint a man as being haunted by his actions and driven beyond belief in the sake of those he cares about while ALSO having him act as a direct and deliberate obstacle towards the happiness of his only child!! Also, Nathalie is far too late to start giving a shit about Gabe's actions, especially as she's refusing to bite the bullet and just TELL THE POLICE WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME. Seriously, STOP TRYING TO FUCKING PORTRAY NATHALIE AS SOME KIND OF MOTHER FIGURE FOR ADRIEN!! SHE HAS STOOD BY AND ENABLED ALL OF GABE'S BULLSHIT ALL THIS TIME!! THEY HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THESE VIDEOS ALL THIS TIME SO ALL HER WATCHING THEM IS DOING IS HER THROWING A FUCKING PITY PARTY FOR HERSELF!!! GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!

Now we get a montage of Adrien and Marinette spending their morning together through a video call. If it's meant to be sweet or cute, it's kinda undermined by the fact that being that fixated on your phone, up to the point of dragging it with you while you are brushing your teeth, is NOT healthy. Oh, and then we get Adrien walking into his kitchen where Gabe asks him if he's told Marinette about him moving to London... and for all that's good and decent in this world, I cannot fucking get WHY THE IDEA OF A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T OCCUR TO THEM. Seriously, they are literally showing off one of the premiere methods of making a long-distance relationship work, VIDEO CALLS!!! It would honestly be more impactful to focus on how him moving to London would impact his abilities to be a superhero, or how it means he won't be able to hang out with his friends like Nino and the rest anymore, not just fixating on why it's all about him and Marinette!!

"I'm doing this for your happiness," he says as if he hasn't literally threatened his son's girlfriend into breaking things off with him and dictates who his son can and can't hang out with. Nathalie offers a token effort of sticking up for Adrien, which I'm ignoring because again TOO FUCKING LATE BITCH. And STOP WITH THE FUCKING PANCAKE METAPHOR!!! IT DIDN'T WORK TO START WITH AND IT JUST SOUNDS STUPID!!!

One thing that kind of baffles me is why Adrien or Plagg think Adrien going to London is something he can refuse. Abusive asshole or not, Gabe is his guardian; if he decides to move Adrien to London, there's nothing he can do to prevent it short of running away. Aaannnddd we get a sappy comment about how him and Marinette will last forever, no matter what. HA!! HAHAH!!! No. Not even gonna pretend to take that seriously, it's too dumb. Also, really dumb thing; Adrien was STILL ON HIS VIDEO CALL when he walked into breakfast, and I didn't see him turn it off before Gabe dropped his bomb, so that should've honestly revealed at least SOMETHING of what is going on to Marinette, yet she doesn't seem to know. Let's see if that changes. And multiple failed attempts at a kiss in a row and I'm gagging; this is dumb. This isn't cute. This is just obnoxious.

WHY THE FUCK ARE THEIR CLASSMATES STILL FIXATED ON THIS!? THEY ARE TOGETHER, MISSION SOLVED, GET OVER IT AND GET TO CLASS!!! THEY AREN'T A LIVING SOAP OPERA FOR YOU TO GAWK AT!!! Rose... sweet, innocent Rose... FUCK OFF. Do NOT DEMAND SOMEONE KISS IN FRONT OF YOU!! THERE IS SO MUCH FUCKING WRONG WITH THAT I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO GET INTO WHY THAT IS WRONG!!! GET A THERAPIST GIRL!!! Also, shut up about the "will seal the eternal love" BS; that isn't how love works, that is not how ANY healthy and lasting relationship works, and you are fucking old enough to know this by now, who the fuck am I kidding, this is the girl who honestly wanted to be a hairstylist for mythological animals!!! I'm honestly half-expecting the reason for this scene is meant to be one of Astruc's terrible attempts to be "in on the joke" by "signaling" to viewers that he fully gets how annoying dragging out the kiss is, but trying to reassure them it's for a good cause. Too bad it's condescending as hell!!

Yeah, the way that Rose is talking really feels like this is badly done meta-commentary, given her gushing about Adrien and Marinette being the "Cutest sweethearts ever" that they've been "waiting forever for." It just plain DOES NOT WORK, because an actual group of people openly and deliberately shipping two people they actually know like that is uncomfortable as hell, and it's the kind of thing that kills a ship for me (there's a reason I don't like Molly x Ollie for TGAMM).

"We're just waiting for the right time!" No, you really aren't seeing as how the two of you literally both tried to kiss each other twice already only to stop when you saw the other person was trying to initiate it. That isn't "waiting for the right time" that's "pussyfooting around something you are well past the point of being able to just fucking DO by now!!"

Now they are doing the stereotypical "no you are" thing. Not cute, that's annoying as fuck. Also, them openly calling each other perfect is disgusting to me, considering how much this series itself has emphasized the toxicity of "perfect" as a concept. Them acting like lovestruck idiots gushing about how "perfect" the other is comes off as a red flag to me, not something sweet and/or entertaining. Even their classmates are fucking sick of it. Once again the show proves it can't do self-awareness to save its life.

Now we are in the classroom and Sabrina is apparently officially "good now," since she chooses to sit next to Nathaniel instead of Chloe. I'm honestly surprised Chloe didn't try and yell at her or anything and just sighed in exasperation. How long before this show makes things worse? And we get the grade-school insults upon seeing Adrien and Marinette, only this time she's focusing on Adrien. They really are committed to having her burn down every possible bridge they can.

Also, the way they are having Marinette confront Chloe by talking about how she was able to get rid of Lila, how she had to leave because of all her lies, while gripping Chloe's desk and looming over her... just the positioning and the way she's talking makes HER come across as the bully. Seriously, there is NO WAY TO MAKE HAVING YOUR PROTAGONIST THREATEN TO DO ALL SHE CAN TO GET SOMEONE KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL LOOK GOOD!!!

Now we get a look at Lila's lair, base, whatever this weird room with a map of Paris and a web of photos connected by strings is supposed to be. It's really disturbing to take in just how much of her life she's apparently willing to waste for... we haven't even been given a MOTIVE FOR HER YET. This isn't just pathetic, this is unhealthy. And we get a scene of Chloe choosing to play music and make a spectacle of herself. She isn't a threat. This, this petulant CHILD is not a threat. WHY IS THIS SHOW SO OBSESSED WITH MAKING HER LOOK LIKE SHE'S A THREAT!? THERE IS NO WAY TO TAKE HER SERIOUSLY AS ONE, SHE IS JUST ANNOYING!!!

Also, as an aside, as someone who has gone to school, any students unironically saying they care about the lesson is sus. On the other hand, them wanting her to quit being distracting is totally in-character; having someone be a jerk and loud is ANNOYING no matter where or when it happens. Also, oddly enough, while she took the wrong thing away from the lesson, she apparently WAS paying attention to it enough to correctly name and describe the subjects of it. It makes it a bit odd why Thomas insists she's dumb; lazy and unmotivated, maybe, but this scene makes it feel like the issue is that she thinks she doesn't need to apply herself. Then again, she's apparently ignorant of the fact that spending money makes it go away, and she can't expect to coast by on her family's collective wealth; as fucking awful as both of her parents are, they at least actually WORK and made their money.

Yup, Ms. Mendeleiev immediately proves to be just as, if not MORE spineless than Damocles. Marinette decides to scold Chloe over causing their pregnant teacher stress (despite her not seeming stressed out in the slightest), instead of Chloe once again abusing her father's authority to bully someone into doing what she wants. Alright, that's a choice I guess. And as meanly as she phrased it, Chloe's right; none of the class can STOP Chloe from abusing her dad's power and authority, only HE CAN.

What makes this stupider is that if Chloe was able to bully her dad into doing shit like this, WHY HASN'T SHE DONE IT BEFORE!?! For fuck's sake, this season has bent over backwards to make it clear that Chloe doesn't give a shit about protecting her reputation or being anything less then a complete and utter fucking pain in the ass, so why the fuck has it taken THIS FUCKING LONG for Caline to "realize" that Chloe is a cheater and a pain in the ass. If she was able to make her dad allow her to get away with playing music in class, WHY HASN'T SHE DONE IT BEFORE NOW!? The big fucking problem with all this is that if Chloe was ALWAYS supposed to be this bad, why hasn't she tried shit like this before?! WHY!?

Oh, and Andre isn't even pretending to give Chloe's whims legitimacy and just tells the school to let her do whatever she wants, and Ms. Mendeleiev keeps proving she's useless. "He's my superior." NO HE FUCKING ISN'T!! THE MAYOR OF PARIS HAS NO AUTHORITY LIKE THIS OVER THE SCHOOLS OF PARIS!! IT WAS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT IN SEASON 2 THAT HE HAS LIMITED ACTUAL AUTHORITY OVER THE SCHOOLS!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!

And now Lila has Chloe faking Marinette hurt her... I can see where this is going. And wow, Chloe seriously forgot that she's already been ratted out as a liar to Miss B, this is fucking stupid. And yup, immediately throwing her weight around. And now they are gonna shoot Chloe's one act of genuine kindness towards Miss B in the foot, just like they did everything else. Honestly, them having her try and reach out to Chloe NOW of all times doesn't work, considering that last episode involved her "realizing that Chloe has no goodness in her." FUCK THIS NOISE.

"We all tried to help you." THE FUCK YOU DID!!! YOU HAVE DONE JACK SHIT TO HELP HER!! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HER MOTHER VERBALLY ABUSED HER ON LIVE TV!? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN CHLOE WAS CHEATING!? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN CHLOE HAS BEEN ABUSING HER DAD'S AUTHORITY FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG!? YOU HAVE NEVER DONE SHIT TO HELP HER, YOU ARE JUST GASLIGHTING HER!! If she wasn't meant to be the bad guy, this would be more disgusting then it already is.

Yada yada, Chloe being awful, Mendeleiev being a spineless worm, Hawkmoth tries an Akumatization, Caline calms herself down. This would be more effective if it weren't for the fact that he successfully Akumatized her LAST TIME despite her not even being the actual fucking target; them introducing the possibility of an Akumatization being rejected was awesome at first, but now it just feels pathetic. Also, them making it look like Bustier's gonna cry doesn't work when her tone of voice NEVER FUCKING CHANGES.

I'm just... I'm literally fast-fowarding so much of this since it's nothing but contrivance. This is bullshit. This is SHIT. I'm just waiting for it to get to the scene where Gabe meets with the Mayor, because so far this is just engineered idiocy, minute after minute of Chloe being a braindead, upper-class twit stereotype who makes me want to punch a wall. There isn't anything emotionally impactful about this, it's just INFURIATING.

Okay, that didn't take too long, and we get the Security Robots. Honestly? For starters, ignoring the fact that Andre does not have the authority to affect Paris' police force in the slightest, getting rid of these things DOES NOT EQUATE TO GETTING RID OF THE POLICE. You CAN have both, and if anything having them work in coordination would be the optimal choice in terms of ensuring that they are following their duties properly.

"It seems like Ladybug and Chat Noir are the ones enforcing the law in Paris." ...What is that even supposed to MEAN!? Outside of blatantly WEIRD stuff like that thing with the flying clone dinos and their patrols, they only deal with supervillain stuff. HOW does dealing with the one thing that NO police force, robotic or otherwise, could handle equate to them "being the ones enforcing the law in Paris." And Hawkmoth HAS MADE TECH CONTROLLING VILLAINS BEFORE IN THE FORM OF ROBUSTUS!!! I'm aware that it's Gabe and Tomoe pushing this, but Andre should KNOW about Robustus, meaning he should have a ready made reason to NOT ACCEPT THEM that doesn't involve badly executed arguments!!!

Seriously, this episode's entire root conflict basically relies on Andre somehow not remembering Robustus. Oh, and now Lila's infiltrating the hotel, which makes no sense as I'm pretty sure that the workers would be able to tell she's not one of them. Blah blah blah, pretentious rich girl sounds from Chloe... Lila using her video camera to spy on them...

Also, how the hell does Andre not realize that letting his daughter talk to him like she's his boss makes him look like a complete and utter loser in front of Tomoe and Gabe?

Lila is literally having Chloe say things she knows will make Gabe want to Akumatize her, clearly these two are criminal masterminds. /s

Wow, Gabe describes Chloe acting like a pretentious little brat as "not being cowardly." Even ignoring how he's clearly only doing this for Akuma reasons, this is fucking stupid.

Andre earns one point for pointing out that trying to ban superheroes is dumb as people love Ladybug and Chat Noir (not even mentioning the impossibility of actually ENFORCING such a ban)... and immediately loses it for not realizing that he has allowed Chloe to get away with PLENTY unreasonable bullshit, so him standing up on not BANNING HER ENTIRE CLASS FROM EVER GOING TO ANY HIGH SCHOOL is utterly toothless. Heck, he's not even standing up to her, as he's literally just standing up to her in the most superficial and tepid way imaginable.

Weird, when Gabe revealed he's taking Adrien out of Paris, even if she almost used her new grade school insult for him, Chloe almost sounded WORRIED about him not being around. I have zero doubts in my mind that if the show bothered to acknowledge this, it'd be because she's "upset at losing a new target to make suffer" or some pretentious shit like that. I feel like I'm using pretentious a lot.

And Andre once again proves to be a completely spineless JOKE when he "promises to do whatever Chloe wants" so she'll stop pestering him. My guy, it is so far past any point where you could salvage your image, you should've shut her down and had the staff take her to her room THE SECOND SHE CAME IN YELLING AT YOU WHILE YOU WERE IN A FUCKING MEETING!!! All admitting you are bowing to her whims does is make you look like a spineless jackass.

Oh, and Lila feeding Chloe's ego by saying that Chloe's engineered temper tantrum was a "real display of power." Yeah, how in the WORLD could Chloe have turned out so awful. /s

We are back to the class, all of them deciding to spend their afternoon at Juleka's place, ROSE SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE GODDAMN KISSES!!! Stop "awwwing" over them!! THEY ARE NOT THAT CUTE AS A COUPLE!!!!

And we're back to Gabe and Andre, Gabe's about to confront Andre, what was the fucking point with the scene at the boat?? They start off talking very familiar with each other, implying that they have history beyond both being Rich People In Paris, with Gabe basically pulling a "just trust me bro" to Andre's request for an explanation behind the robots. I'd honestly like one as well; what is even the fucking point of those stupid things?

"Remember when we were young and penniless?" No. NO. SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU DO NOT GET TO DO THAT!! YOU DO NOT GET TO STOP AND REMINISCE ABOUT BEING POOR, NOT WHEN YOUR FUCKING NAME IS LITERALLY A TERM FOR BEING BORN INTO FUCKING WEALTH AND PRIVILEGE YOU CORRUPT PIECE OF SHIT!!! YOU DO NOT GET TO START TALKING ABOUT "THE GOOD OLD DAYS" AFTER ALL THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT, NOT WHEN YOU AND GABE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PORTRAYED AS BEING RICH AS FUCK, EMILIE LITERALLY HAVING BEEN DESCRIBED AS FUCKING OLD MONEY!!! IF YOU WERE EVER FUCKING POOR FOR REAL I WOULD EAT MY LEFT FOOT!!!

"Don't you think we were much happier back then?" NO!! SHUT UP!!! YOU DO NOT GET TO GO "WOE IS ME" ABOUT BEING FUCKING RICH RIGHT NOW!! IT IS NOT A MATTER OF WHAT YOU HAVE NOW OR WHAT YOU HAD BACK THEN, ALL YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS ARE ENTIRELY BECAUSE YOU ARE A CORRUPT, SPINELESS PIECE OF HUMAN FILTH!!!! YOU MADE YOUR CHOICES!!!! YOU CHOSE TO BE A FUCKING MONSTER!!! YOU DO NOT GET TO BLAME BEING WEALTHY!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO THAT!!!!

"A woman who barely respects me, a selfish heartless daughter, and a city hall that I never wanted!" SHUT UP!! SHUT! THE FUCK!! UP!! STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW AWFUL YOUR LIFE IS!! YOUR WIFE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU BECAUSE SHE'S A BITCH AND BECAUSE YOU ARE A SPINELESS WORM WHO DESERVES NO RESPECT!!! CHLOE IS ONLY SELFISH BECAUSE YOU HAVE SPENT YEAR AFTER FUCKING YEAR SPOILING AND NEGLECTING HER!! YOU MADE THIS FUCKING BED AND YOU CAN GODDAMN LIE IN IT LIKE THE FLEA BITTEN DOG THAT YOU ARE!!! AND YOU NEVER WANTED CITY HALL, YOU COULD FUCKING QUIT AT ANY TIME!! NO ONE IS FORCING YOU INTO THIS LIFE!! NO ONE IS MAKING YOU DO ANY OF THIS SHIT!!! YOUR MISTAKES ARE YOUR OWN, OWN UP TO THEM FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A LIFE YOU LIVING SHITSTAIN!!!

"All my life I've lied, cheated, and abused my power." NO ONE FORCED YOU TO!! YOU DON'T GET TO BELLYACHE ABOUT YOUR MISTAKES WHEN YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO CORRECT THEM YOU DEGENERATE SACK OF WASTE!!!

"I've become a tyrant in service to my family and their friends," STOP FUCKING BLAMING YOUR OWN CHOICES ON YOUR FAMILY!! THEY HAVE NO POWER TO FORCE YOU TO ABUSE YOUR POWER, YOU CHOSE TO DO SO!!! CHLOE BEING A BRAT IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!! AUDREY DISRESPECTING YOU IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!! YOUR LIFE IS NOBODY'S FAULT EXCEPT YOUR OWN!!!!

God fucking dammit, that isn't out of my system, but if I keep pausing for every little thing that upsets me, I'm gonna have an aneurysm. Yadda yadda, long-winded lecture about Andre abusing his power in stupid ways that he has no power to actually enforce, we get the "reveal" that Gabe used to be better, once again without any evidence when all the evidence regarding his treatment of Adrien instead points to him having always been a self-absorbed, self-righteous control freak, and FUCK does this bullshit piss me off. There is NOTHING I loathe more than slimeballs like Andre, who whine and cry about how unfair life is when everything being shit is entirely a product of their own actions, grow the fuck up and start doing something productive with your life. You've got the office, stop bending over backwards like a coward and just DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.

"Maybe there's still hope, maybe we can still change." I do not trust you to "change" in any meaningful way that doesn't involve running away from your mistakes and leaving someone else to clean up the mess. "Give up our privileges, go back to the way it was," yup, immediately proven right. His idea of "changing" is "plug his head in the sand, ignore reality, and act as if all the damage he's caused is no longer his problem." THIS is the man they want us to sympathize with? Yeah, fuck that.

Also, the way they used "privileges" reminds me of Astruc's bullshit about Chloe not redeeming or changing as a person. WHAT fucking privileges?? His status as the Mayor? All he has to do is stop running each election. Give up his money?? He's already rich because of his fucking hotel, that's not happening, and it means he'll still have a massive status to rely on. WHAT fucking privileges could he even give up!?

"City hall is no longer for sale." What, have you been making illicit deals like this with Tomoe before now? If it's ever been "for sale" you've got no one but yourself to blame. And Gabe had been recording the entire thing, and Andre's monologue just so happened to include a sarcastic list of awful abuses of power, conveniently all in a row, that Gabe can neatly and easily edit down into a "confession" he can use to induce an Akumatization, because apparently he can't just force the process despite having shown that yes, he can do exactly that during Zombizou. Also, weird thing with the edited video, it somehow changed the pitch and tone without any efforts to actually DO that, he just shuffled stuff around.

Caline's Akuma form is stupid looking on so many levels, and why would she even NEED the Pig Miraculous power?? Hawkmoth has made forced recruitment powers LOADS OF TIMES!! Heck, this time is even weaker then normal since her recruits are FUCKING BALLOONS!!!

Gabe and Tomoe plot to make Chloe look like a savior, I wonder how in the world they'll do that. /s

And now Caline's Akuma is on live TV, announcing her intentions. I can't even take her words seriously because of how stupid she looks.

Back to Adrien and Marinette, and right when it looks like Adrien's gonna share the bad news, word about Caline getting Akumatized arrived. They aren't even trying not to drag this out anymore.

Adrien, it's NEVER going to be the right time. It's the kind of thing you just have to get over with. Ideally, you do it in a situation where the other person is comfortable. But there's never gonna be a "right time for it."

Zoe takes off running after seeing the doctored video, and we get a scene with Chloe, who shows... well, annoyance at Andre's words. Either because she's dumb enough to think that this is a genuine and knowing confession, or because she has enough moral standards to know that what he's suggesting is idiotic... who am I kidding, of course it's because they think she's stupid.

Yeah, she's just stupid. She literally had to have Lila spell out the problem with assuming she'll still have any kind of power or protection from her actions after this engineered confession.

Caline confronts the cops, and after slashing through a bunch of them... all except the two that are LITERALLY right next to her landing spot are just standing in place, not doing anything, despite holding weapons. They, they aren't even RUNNING AWAY FROM THE SUPERVILLAIN IN THEIR MIDST. Also, this scene honestly makes Tomoe and Gabe's creation of a robotic police force look JUSTIFIED just due to how utterly incompetent the cops come off here.

"I think it's strange that Monarch would support a revolutionary." Ladybug, he literally already did this with Darkblade. He might've been more about personally seizing power, but it is literally the exact same fucking principle. He doesn't "support" anyone, he uses people's personal crusades as a bludgeon to get his way, nothing more and nothing less.

"A revolution when everyone is corrupt," you literally heard a single clip regarding a single politician. If that's proof that everyone's corrupt, that points more to you having been one bad day from going on a rampage to start with.

Also, just noticed, her "army" is even weaker than minion-maker Akumas normally are; they literally can't do anything but FLOAT THERE.

"It's not up to us to decide who should or shouldn't be a mayor, we just need to deakumatize the villain." ...NO FUCKING DUH!? FOR FUCK'S SAKE, THAT IS LITERALLY WHAT YOU WERE ALREADY DOING!! ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY YOU WEREN'T TAKING HER SERIOUSLY TO START WITH!? IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE IT, BUT WHAT THE FUCK DO I KNOW, I'M NOT THE CREATOR WHO DECIDES EVERYTHING IN-UNIVERSE!!!

Oh hey, the Balloons finally do something, I wonder how hard it'll be to make literal balls of air go away... Oh, they are actually struggling. That's honestly sad.

"Deep down, he's not a bad mayor!" Zoe's on the scene for some reason, and trying to talk down an Akuma, clearly that'll do something. /s

Also, no Zoe, your step-dad is a TERRIBLE mayor. He's done nothing but use and abuse his powers for YEARS, and no matter what he says to the contrary, it's entirely his own fault, and he is literally planning on abandoning his position, doing nothing to actually correct his mistakes, to live out his hobby.

"I thought we were friends, Gabriel, but it seems that is no longer the case!" Andre, buddy, for him being your "friend," the two of you never hang out or communicate in any way. Heck, why would you think he's your friend when he literally made a high-end "get along shirt" to mock your dysfunctional marriage?

"Then again, what you did was finally the push I needed to make the right decision." I suspect you don't mean "own up to my mistakes and do all in my vast power as both the Mayor and a wealthy hotel owner to correct them and keep them from coming back again."

Seriously, why the hell aren't Ladybug and Chat just taking her out from behind. SHE IS DISTRACTED!! YOU LITERALLY SAID YOURSELF THAT IT IS NOT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE WHO GETS TO BE MAYOR OR NOT, YOUR ENTIRE POINT IS TO DEFEAT AKUMAS AND SHE IS NOT SO INTIMIDATING THAT YOU NEED TO ENABLE SOMEONE WHO IS CLEARLY NOT IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKING MIND!!!

Yup, just got confirmed that he's going to weasel his way out of his responsibilities and the consequences of his actions. Corruption carries steeper penalties then just losing the job, there's jail time and steep fines involved.

"The Lucky Charm was warning me about her!" ...How? How in the WORLD could it be warning you about the powerless BRAT before you? I just... I cannot deal with this shit. This is just stupid.

Also, this scene kinda shoots the "her spotty vision is all in her head" idea in the foot given that it only went off after Chloe entered the room. If it's meant to be a representation of Marinette being creative, it fails massively when it's clearly reacting exclusively to her biases right now.

"A crown for the queen of brats" OH GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF YOU LEATHER CAT-SUIT WEARING SIMP!!!

And here comes the scene of Chloe illegally taking power that she doesn't actually have, and trying to pin the blame on Ladybug and Chat Noir. How pathetic. And everyone watching the news as Chloe appoints herself mayor... I'm pretty sure the VICE MAYOR is the person who gets the position if anyone wants it. Also, if Andre DID resign under duress, he's technically still in office and can just COME BACK.

Also, if anyone believes that CHLOE of all people, especially when she's actively in the middle of illegally seizing power, would unironically say "power must return to the people," they are an idiot.

WOW, she just declared the known terrorist an outlaw, THAT will actually mean something and have a tangible effect on what happens going forward! /s

Not even gonna touch her "outlawing" Ladybug and Chat Noir, since that's stupid to start with.

[fandomsoda]

I saw your posts about the newest Underverse episode and I want know why you thought Core Frisk was manipulative to Ink. I am really curious because Core Frisk was kind and telling the truth.

mmmm I just don’t trust them. Kind is not how I would describe their demeanor. And I’m honestly not sure if “telling the truth” is a good way to describe it.

They weren’t telling the truth, they were putting all the responsibility on Ink’s shoulders while they and Dream will probably just sit on their asses for the rest of the plot. “You’re part of this story now-” he’s BEEN part of this story, wdym??? Like genuinely Core and Dream have done nothing outside of 0.6 seemingly by choice (at least on Dream’s part, Core can be made a case for pre-0.6 anyway).

The reason I specifically describe them as manipulative is the way that they seem to be puppeteering a lot of these half-baked “redemption arcs”. They sat back and watched Cross struggle while having the attitude of someone watching a movie, they did not actually care. They also set up Fresh to fuck Ink’s shit up and I do not care who the hell you are or what the hell your motives are, if you specifically set someone up to be fucking possessed by a parasite that could have possibly KILLED THEM (at least temporarily considering how Ink’s vials work), you are not to be fucking trusted.

Them trying to force these “redemption arcs” on Ink and Cross in VERY weird, creepy, and inorganic ways is really off-putting and upsetting to me. Dream is also part of this too, his attitude doesn’t sit right with me and yanking Cross into the Omega Timeline against his will was a dick move. Ink and Cross don’t actually seem like they’re better off after these situations either.

Do I think they’re supposed to be a bad guy narrative-wise? No. But I do not like that they’re being weird and manipulative and it’s being framed as a good thing, this is honestly an issue I have with Underverse’s narrative broadly. We’re not supposed to question their actions because they’re supposedly the good guys, but…

Simply doing stuff “for the greater good” does not instantly justify it.

ESPECIALLY when most of what they’ve been doing has been literally fucking nothing.

Edit: wrote this when I was in a bad mood, Core and Dream are obviously doing a lot of things on the side and they deserve credit for that. It’s just that their behavior when engaging with other main characters reads as… very weird, like really off putting.

[petalsofhope]

ᘛFresh Sans’ Relationship↴ Headcanons!

headcanons ⭑ fluff ⭑ SFW ⭑ pre-established relationship (obviously) ⭑ betrayal mentions ⭑ non-binary reader

“I thought it was a good idea to start this blog with headcanons of some characters' relationships. I tried as much as possible to keep the character as close to canon as possible – although it seems like a difficult task given what Fresh really is – and I really enjoyed this piece. Anyway, enjoy!”

Headcanons after the cut :3

For starters, there is no specific reason for Fresh to love someone: It can be for intimacy, common tastes or simply socializing. There are no defaults in this case.

However, when feelings begin to arise, your reaction will be extremely bad. You see, he is a parasite driven by survival instincts and absolutely both actions are designed for his own benefit. Why would he have feelings for something that could cost him his life? Why does he care?

This can result in lots and lots of rage and panic attacks every time he's around you. Some of this isn't your fault, though, it's just his way of dealing every time that damn chest burn comes up. He doesn't know how to react to feelings, he's gone his whole life without having to worry about them and not having control over it just terrifies him.

He will walk away from you for a while. Don't worry, he'll come back like nothing happened.

It can take months, let alone years, for the situation to change. Usually, this all ends up with some people losing their patience and calling him for an hour-long conversation. Despite some misunderstandings — like him thinking that love is some kind of terminal illness and that he was about to die — he finally understands the situation and is ready to take the next step. (When I say that, I mean him demanding that you ask him out on a date instead of him doing it himself).

This skeleton project knows absolutely nothing about dating, so expect lots of mistakes and stupid oversights at the beginning of the relationship.

He will betray you sometime by kissing someone close or even a random person. It's not on purpose, though. He's just too naive to understand the emotional significance a kiss can have, thinking it to be a random act of affection like a hug or handshake. He will apologize as soon as he sees how upset you are about it and will stop immediately, even though he thinks you are overreacting.

Overall, he's very affectionate and doesn't really understand the idea of personal space. He constantly finds ways to break into your house just to watch you sleep at night and enter the bathroom while you shower just because he wants to talk. It's cute, except when you have a stomachache or wake up screaming because there's a shadow-covered figure at the foot of your bed.

He is completely oblivious to the problems that happen in your life. If you really seem bothered or sad about something, he might try to talk and offer help, but nothing too complex. Honestly? He's already having a lot of trouble dealing with his own conflicting feelings, he doesn't want to be responsible for yours either.

He usually attacks parts of your face with kisses every time he sees you. When he wants to be more romantic, the kiss is longer and more sloppy, despite looking really passionate. He likes to hold a good amount of fabric from your shirt while kissing, usually from the waist.

After a while, there will be so much of his stuff lying around your house that all it takes is a key for him to actually start living with you. The key, of course, is only symbolic, as he always finds a way into the home, no matter how hard you try.

In short, he's just a confused and passionate guy. take care of him please

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 36 - Glee

On the properties of blood rejuvenation and the history of the world (i guess).

On AO3.

“A devil? Astarion’s voice is sharp and just this side of a whine. “Now we’ve got a devil after us?”

Voices from below. Gale and Shadowheart and Lae’zel. Y’all should probably regroup. You try to focus as you climb back down (easier, as you’re laying on your belly, but also harder, as you’re already shaking and shivering).

The rest of the crew look between worried and grim. Lae’zel has relaxed back into her “breathe on me and die” stance. Only you seem to still be having a physical reaction. Possible because you’re the only one suddenly dumped ass over tea kettle into an unasked for crisis of (un)faith.

The others debate about it. Or discuss it, since nobody seems to be outright in favor. Wyll is dead set against the entire concept. But it’s Astarion that draws your eye. He wants to use the parasites, you’d gathered from snippets over the last day and a half. He’d said so to the others after the whole dream intruder episode. Man seems pretty down for snatching any form of power (or supplies) he can get his hands on.

But when you look at him, he wears a dark look.

“He’s playing with us,” Astarion says when you ask. “He reminds me of…well. Creatures like them don’t play games unless they know they can win.”

That fuckface hunting him.

“I don’t want any kinda deal with a devil,” you say. “We got stories about that where I come from, and they all end bad.”

Which piques Gale’s interest. You really should take an evening and let the man go whole hog on your stories. He’s been so helpful and curious. Might be a good idea to get a wizard on your side anyway. Short of finding some butthole ship flight recorder, he might be your best shot and getting home again.

All your troubles are starting to run together. Problems gained, nothing solved. You’re not even sure you’re remembering everything outside of “Wyll’s demon” and “Halsin with goblins.” Seems like there’s more you should be remembering.

This line of thinking usually means y’all should set up camp. You ain’t gonna get any less crotchety. Maybe if you offer Gale a Q and A session you can get another vote in “we should stop for tonight.”

***

Gale is only too happy to swing the vote. To be fair, Wyll don’t even protest. Whole devil thing really rattled everybody. Y’all find a stream, start setting up tents, and Astarion is the first one to march over with an arm of clothing.

You still ain’t done nothing with that scrap of linen he gave. You don’t know how to sew, and you don’t have the supplies. You been pondering scavenging another belt and just rigging you up a goddamn loincloth. You suspect it’d look weird and bulky underneath your trousers, though. But maybe you should, just to get used to it. You been here a week or so; it’s maybe another week until the cramps kick in and you start bleeding. You read enough history to know a loincloth is your best bet for dealing with that (you’re gonna have to keep an eye out for more rags or shirts that ain’t all mildewy).

Thoughts of drawers aside, Gale is ecstatic to sit you down and pick your brain. He hands you a scroll and a quill and an inkpot (“For your own keeping. One never knows when one might need to take notes”). He talks to you until most of the others have retired for the night. Talks to you as Astarion finishes his first watch (he sends you both a weird look), and only seems to notice when Shadowheart emerges from her tent to take second shift.

“Oh, goodness, I’ve completely lost track of time!” he says, scribbling furiously.

He’d started with what you remember of Mesopotamia—quickly sidetracked into prehistory and the entire theory of evolution, and then veered into parallel world speculations you didn’t quite follow. He taps his lips with the tip of his quill. They’re not, you notice, full feathers like in the movies. He actually cuts them much shorter, leaves only a tuft of feather on the far end. You wonder about that, until you realize the trim brings the thing down to about pen length. Huh.

“But if that theory is correct, your people would have had to be on Ay-arth for a significant amount of time. Far beyond even the creation of Toril.”

“Toril?”

He looks up. Blinks. And that’s how you learn Faerun is the name of the continent. The planet is Toril. Neat.

You leave him still muttering. He kind of waves, murmurs a “Thank you, Eleanor. Rest well.” And then he shuffles towards his tent, still reading his notes, quill still tapping his lips and you don’t have the heart to tell him he’s got ink on his fingers.

Shadowheart nods as you approach. “Late night?”

You groan. “I barely even got started. He wants to know everything I do and I been learning for years.”

She hums. Glances to the wizard settling in at a reading desk he probably pulled out of his magic bag. You don’t think he’s going to sleep at all, tonight.

“So you’re a scholar, then?” she says.

“More of a hobby,” you say. “My people got access to a lot of information real casually. I don’t got the brain juice to explain right now, sorry. Though, could I ask you a question?”

Her face is cool in the orange glow of firelight. “That depends on the question.”

You know very little of her, aside from hating Lae’zel, and she’s got jesus hands. Also that she’s got mean girl tendencies.

“That potion and your magic, the healing? Does it speed up, um, blood production? Not the fluids but, like, the bits it carries?”

She holds up a hand. “I’m aware of how blood works and its components; I’ve seen enough of it. And yes, a healing potion or my spells encourage the body to heal any recent injuries; so more than just replacing the water in the blood. Why?”

There’s…a suspicious fucking edge to the last word, there. Ain’t no time to be subtle.

“Feeding the vampire,” you say and fuck it, being honest with doctors makes their job easier, right?

Her suspicion turns scathing. It takes all you got not to squirm.

“Really?” she says.

“It helps him fight,” you say.

“So would a feather bed, yet we’ve all been managing fine without.”

But she didn’t feel the monstrous hunger ripping through her innards. Not more than the barest flash Astarion had let slip during his impromptu group chat.

You been hungry before. It was one of Mother’s favorite lessons, hungering for the grace of the lord. His salvation made physical through the hands of the shepherd he sent to guide the unworthy. Deliverance could only follow punishment, though. As your unclean thoughts or actions separated you from the light and bounty of the lord, so did your physical body have to experience that loss. Plus it left no marks for any outsiders to see and be concerned over.

(raspberry and artificial lemon and the stink of dirt)

(No, there’s no root cellar here.)

It’s an awful feeling. And if your body is fine (and soul firmly tied down) you don’t want to let that carry on. Not if you can do something.

Nobody came to help you. Not for a long, long time. Not until Sasha.

You can do your best to be a Sasha, too.

“Is it gonna hurt me in the long run?” you say.

Shadowheart’s voice is as flat as her expression. “No more than letting a vampire at your throat usually is. Are you sure he didn’t dominate you?”

That word again. It’s enough to break through the nasty turn your thoughts were taking. You wonder if that’s a sex thing in Faerunese, as well in English.

“I am of sound mind, making choices of my own volition,” you say. “I used to do this back home pretty regular. Not with vampires, though; we don’t got them. Donating blood helps people with medical emergencies. And my dad’s side…helping your people is a cultural thing. You go to any of my relatives and you barely get a ‘hi’ outta you before somebody’s asking if you’re hungry and they got food in the kitchen, help yourself. It’s real…people-oriented. Helping each other. Or it is when people are trying to do right, anyway.”

Gale still mutters over his desk. There’s ink stains in his beard, now. You wince, but you’ve committed, and you ain’t gonna out yourself at this point. Let him think nobody noticed and salvage his pride.

“That sounds like a people that can be taken advantage of,” Shadowheart says.

That hits. It’s a subject you get stuck on, too. Maybe if the first people the Spanish and then the English had found had been less generous and more murder-happy, y’all wouldn’t have been decimated by disease and then force-marched off all y’all’s land.

Or maybe your ancestors still would have lost, eventually, and without that caring, y’all would have torn yourselves apart during the chaos that followed. Maybe y’all wouldn’t still be here.

“I helped you on that ship,” you say.

Her frown is a sharp, vicious thing. A razor embedded in a ball of ice. “I believe I’ve already repaid that debt a few times over.”

You hold up your hands. “More than that. I’m not trying to hold that over your head. You’uns are the only reason I’m still alive, so thank you. I’m just saying, people survive better when they work together. I ain’t gonna ask any of you to let him chomp down, I just wanna know if it’s safe for me to volunteer. If it ain’t, I won’t.”

She stares silently for a long moment. So long, you’re sure she’s gonna walk off without giving you an answer.

Only she sighs. Puts her hands on her hips and glares at Astarion’s red tent. “You should be able to manage every three or four days, given you have a potion or someone to cast a lesser restoration spell.”

You look at her. She looks at you.

She throws her hands up. “Alright, fine. Find me in the morning after I’ve had my breakfast. But if he drains you dry, you’d best let everyone else know not to come to me to revivify you.”

The too-tight muscles at the base of your skull relax a tick. There’s one thing off the problems list. Or, well, piled onto your plate. Still, you’re gonna count that as a win because fuck it.

“Thank you,” you say.

“Don’t thank me for this. Ugh. And keep you…feedings to yourselves. I doubt anyone else in camp wants to see that.”

You give her a two-fingered salute and let her begin her patrol.

Finally, you can sleep. Deal with all this tomorrow (when maybe y’all find a demon woman to kill). You’re trudging by the time you make it to your tent—next to Astarion’s; somehow, that’s become the official set up. You hadn’t really noticed before, but they did it even when you died passed out, didn’t they?

“Well?” His voice is smooth and low in the dark. You valiantly try to catch yourself when the startle tangles your feet and you end up plowing into your own tent. The poles creak as the whole things sags under you.

His laughter is high and light. Exactly what you think some fancy boy at a rich bitch party would sound like if the staff dropped a tray of teeny, tiny little pickled fish eggs or roasted peacock asshole or whatever those dipshits eat.

“Fuck you, too,” you say on instinct.

On bad instinct.

“Feeling rather forward this evening are we, darling?” Astarion says. The dick. He’s not actually inside his tent; has plonked himself down all criss-cross applesauce right outside the flap. He sits completely unmoving, the only giveaway the shift in eerie eyeshine as he tilts his head back to regard you.

“Ain’t you just a creeper,” you say.

“A what?” He sounds more amused than insulted.

“Creeper. Some guy lurking all creepy in the fucking dark.”

He ponders that a moment. Then lets out his high, little “ah-ha!” giggle. The firelight catches that predator’s eyeshine again. “Vampire, darling. It rather comes with the territory.”

“I guess.” He’s got a point, goddamnit. “You eavesdropping again?”

“Of course. Especially once I caught that juicy little conversation with our dear cleric.”

You’re so tired. You sway on your feet. Sitting down sounds great, and it’s the polite thing to do, but you know the second your butt touches the dirt, you ain’t getting back up.

“Tomorrow night,” you say. “I’m way too beat right now. But you can feed tomorrow.”

“Oh ~darling~” the man fucking purrs. “I was so hoping you’d say that. I’ll come to you then, when you’re snugly wrapped in your bedroll, and we can have a little privacy. And this time, I’ll make sure I’m quiet. We don’t want to disturb your rest. Later on, when we are at rest, I will eat you right up. Just enough to give me strength and just enough to leave you wishing for more.”

Um.

“Um,” you say. Scratch the back of your head. “I think I’d prefer you don’t come in while I’m asleep?”

So of course he plays right onto that, because he’s a horrible person. The firelight catches his face as it pulls down into a leer. ���Prefer to feel my lips on your skin again?”

He can see in the dark better than you, you gathered. Hopefully not enough to catch the wash of heat over your cheeks.

His tongue on your neck. It’s the most intimate you ever been with somebody.

“A strange man slipping in and biting my while I’m asleep, hmm. You do know that’s exactly what I meant when I called you a creeper, right?”

“We’re hardly strangers at this point.”

“I’ve known you a week.”

He seems on the verge of firing something back. Reconsiders. His smile, when it comes, is a touch too composed. “As you like. You’ll wait for me, then? After the others have gone to rest?”

Making it sound like a damn hookup.

You’re honestly too tired to keep up with this pointy-eared dork. “Sure, sure. I’ll wait up for you. Do me a favor, though, and if I do fall asleep, wake me up?”

The reflected glow of his eyes dips as he places a hand over his chest and gives you a seated bow. Maybe it’s your own tired, or maybe (just a little), the teasing is (kinda) fun. But you dip into a fancy bow back. You been itching to do that.

Which lights up his whole face in delight.

“Night,” you say before he can kick off another round of being weird, and you duck into your still-sagging tent.

[prince-simon]

AIGHT I thought DBD was gonna be a fun lil show. You have: two dead boys with AMAZING chemistry (I LOVE their different accents/slangs/outfits to reflect the times they're from), two living girls with AMAZING chemistry (deadass thought Crystal saw the lights around Niko because maybe she liked herrrrr and the lights were psychic related instead of LITERAL SPRITE INFESTATION), two wildly horny demons who I believe need to get it on and leave Crystal and Edwin alone please and thank you (David and the Cat King), TALKING CATS, a witch cosplaying as Cruella de Ville (I thought she was MURDERING her poor bird Monty!!!!), the cutest adorable most precious little astrology nerd I've EVER SEEN (the aforementioned Monty who wasn't a victim of animal abuse after all), a cursed walrus (still salty Edwin interrupted Tragic Mike's story of how he was cursed, I was INVESTED) OH AND A SUPERHOT BUTCHER LADY!!

ANYWAY this show was supposed to be fun. I watch Supernatural and yeah there were scary episodes but I can't think of anything as traumatic as the Devlin House episode! 😭 Just... watching the dad murder his poor family over and over was awful, seeing how affected Charles was broke my heart, the dad having a secret room to spy on his family was creepy and disturbing and OH MY FUCKING GOD?!?! THAT MISERY WRAITH?!?! I ALMOST THREW UP!! I NEARLY DIED!!! ABSOLUTELY AWFUL TERRIFYING 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND I NEVER WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN!!!!!

I can't wait to watch more DBD tonight!

PS sorry for the essay

okay okay first of all. i'm so excited about this ask. don't apologise haha i've got things to say!!! (i hopeee i'm not spoilering you for anything with this longgg reply lol)

the chemistry between all of them is soooo insane i'm so happy about it!! and yeah lol i think the entire fandom thought it was gay lights for crystal and niko lmao (and you know what? just bc it was parasitic lights who's to say it's not ALSO gay!! sksk i was spoilered about this particular thing before i watched the show and when i saw that scene i STILL thought it was gay lol

sksk thank you for clarifying that by demons you mean david and the cat king bc i was like ??? david and edwin's demon??? interesting take but sure. let's go with it slfjsldfj but yeah calling the cat king a demon works too lmaooo i just love how pathetic the cat king is kssksk

the talking cats are sooo iconic hahaha

omg i totally thought esther was killing monty too. when i first watched it i did a bit of a live reaction with friends and i literally was like noooo not monty!!! he doesn't deserve it!!! i was FLOORED when he turned human skjdflsj in general esther is such a good villain. like i fucking hate her so so so much but man. i LOVE to hate her she just steals every scene she's in ("ouch my ghost skin" lives rent free in my head tbh)

SUPERHOT BUTCHER LADY yesss i love jenny so much. her "oh my fuck" cracks me up every time. fun fact before i watched the show and only saw stuff on tumblr i thought she was gonna be the bad guy sksksk

the show is so camp one second and then soooo devastating the next!!! the devlin house absolutely broke me!! fun fact- or actually not fun at all, idk if you noticed but when the camera is on charles when they're watching the murder happen, you can hear him begging his father to stop hurting him in the background. also another not so fun fact i was listening to jayden revri's charles playlist and the song that's playing in that episode is on there and when it came on i literally had to skip it after a couple seconds bc it triggered me sooo much lmfao but yeah omg don't get me started on the misery wraith!!! the first time i watched it, i was binging and i'd started pretty late already so when i got to that episode it was already dark and i was supposed to go to bed soon and i literally had to cover my screen bc i usually can't do horror at all!! so i was like nopenopenope this isn't happening nope

enjoy the rest of your watch and you're always welcome in my inbox for more yelling!!

[experimentalmadness]

A Pretty Little Game

I've had writer's block for the last few years and here I am to now regale y'all with one shots of my Tav and Astarion because I'm a trainwreck. Anyway, please enjoy two rogues being dumb before they admit they're in a relationship.

***

Rasariel splashed water onto her face, savoring the cool droplets as the ran invisibly down her face and neck, staining her armor a darker gray. She blinked in the sun and heaved a sigh. 

Tired wasn’t the word. 

Bone-weary was closer. Even her skin ached, her eyes burned, the thin white hairs along her purple-blue skinned arms tingled. She kept replaying the dream over and over again. The golden paladin in his shining armor. His offer to help and his face…his face. 

“I was rather of the opinion one bathed with their clothes off, unless this is some drow custom I’m unaware of?” A lilting voice said at her back. 

Ras wiped the remaining water from her face with a gloved hand. 

“At least use a hand towel, you uncivilized rogue.” 

Ras’ traitorous lips twitched into something resembling a smile as Astarion threw a cloth at her head. “And where did you steal this from, you civilized rogue?” Her voice was rough, betraying her exhaustion. And she knew the red-eyed elf saw far more than he let on. 

“Bad dreams?” Astarion asked, leaning far too casually against the trunk of a tree. 

She regarded the vampire the same way she would a displacer beast. A lithe predator, beautiful and enticing. Dangerous should be a word she worked into that thought, but she never managed to string that together. His white hair caught the forest-dappled sun so brilliantly, as had the moon a few nights ago. It had been so long since someone had intrigued her. 

“Are there any other kind?” Ras spat, far more bitterly than she had intended. 

Of course the moment she let her guard down she’d see his face again in her mind. Two centuries of practical celibacy and the one night she decided to try her hand at happiness again…the gods were nothing if not cruel. 

“I see someone woke up on the wrong side of the bedroll this morning,” Astarion sniffed. “Perhaps you should try waking up next to mine tomorrow instead.”

She wasn’t a fool. And she laughed at his audacious attempt at flirting. He was quite good at that, making her laugh. No one had managed it in a very long time. She knelt by the river bank to refill her waterskin. She could hear Astarion take a few tentative steps closer before clearing his throat. “This is the part where you tell me to try harder, darling.”

Ras sighed. “Astarion, I…”

Images flashed before her eyes like the fluttering of a stack of playing cards. The parasite in her head writhing as it feasted upon the memories. A handsome human man with dark hair and tiefling gold and black eyes looked at her with an expression she had missed for so long. She watched him smile, laugh, then toss her a pair of daggers. A training exercise. She wanted to lean into the images and never leave. She wanted to take the man in her arms and tell him how sorry she was. How sorry…

Rasariel was back in her own body, coughing up the last of the memories torn from her brain by the damned worm. 

“Was that the source of your dream last night?” Astarion asked. She could tell he was just as surprised by the sudden connection as she had been, but he, as ever, knew how to play it off. “Charming fellow, should I be jealous?”

“Enough!” Ras growled, rising to her feet. “That was…he is…that was not for you to see!”

“Well I didn’t decide to go rooting around in your head. I can’t exactly control this connection, you know.”

She suddenly felt entirely boxed in. The expanse of the forest camp shrinking down to the size of a small wooden crate. She tried to think. What would the old Rasariel have done back in the days of Menzoberranzan? A laugh, a misdirection. Anything to stave off questions. But she was not the rogue of the Underdark any longer and she hadn’t been for centuries. Either way she did not want to talk about this now. And she certainly didn’t want to talk about this with Astarion. 

“It’s nothing. Ignore it.” 

“I’d say we’re a bit past that, wouldn't you agree?”

Like a damned dog with a bone. She glared. He simply crossed his arms and stared back. 

“He is…was…my betrothed,” she ground the words out. “Happy?”

“Was?” For just the slightest moment that haughty expression slipped on the elf’s face. What a sight to behold. If she wasn’t so furious she might have even enjoyed it. 

“He died. Centuries ago so it’s not as if you have to worry about some angry jilted lover coming to stake you in the heart.”

Astarion fell silent. A feat in itself. For a moment there was nothing but the wind and the distant sounds of the rest of the camp stirring to life. 

Ras blew a strand of white-blue hair out of her eyes, feeling awkward and hating every second of it. She shifted on her feet, trying her best to adapt that carefree stance she’d been very careful to let everyone see. “Can we go back to your best attempt at propositioning me now?”

She did not like the way Astarion was looking at her now, sizing her up the same she had trained herself to do her whole life. Even now she could guess he was trying to figure out the right thing to say to gain her confidence. She could read him like an open book. The self-confident rogue hiding just a seed of vulnerability, the way she saw her earliest self reflected badly in his eyes. 

“Alright if you won’t I will,” Ras spoke into the silence. “It’s not even breakfast yet but that doesn’t mean you can’t devour me now.”

Astarion blinked before bursting out into, what Ras was shocked to hear, genuine peals of laughter. He doubled over. It was ungainly, uncoordinated, and hardly alluring. There were no subtle spikes of malice around the edges and it was…delightful. 

“That was dreadful!” Astarion declared, still huddled over himself. 

“I can try again!” Ras said, the laughter starting to become contagious. 

“Please spare me,” Astarion straightened. 

“Very well, since you said please. I’ll let you handle the charming words from now on.”

They were lying to each other. She wanted an escape, something new to lose herself to after centuries of denial. And he? Well, she was still working that out. But this, whatever this was, was not real. The cooling of her grief as she watched him smirk at her was a facade. This was what she wanted after all. And he clearly needed to believe she was firmly under his spell as well. 

“Astarion, I am sorry…for before.” Just because they were playing this little game with one another didn’t give her the right to tear his head off. They were still traveling companions after all. Part of her past was bound to come up. If not via their shared connection then through other means. 

He simply waved her concerns away with a pale hand. “You don’t ever have to explain yourself to me.”

“Ever?”

“Well…within reason. If I sense you about to go shooting down dragons from the skies I might want to be informed.”

“Now that’s a decent proposition,” Ras gave a conspiratorial wink.

“I somehow thought you might approve.”

[muffinrecord]

Goodbye Storage was pretty good and I have some thoughts after finishing it-

First off, it's another example of how Magia Record will choose the most convoluted explanation whenever possible instead of doing something far more simple and understandable and SOMEHOW making it work. Additionally, it'll have like... a lot of exposition that you just can't look at too hard.

Like Mikoto starts off the first ten minutes with a billion revelations on how her new parasite-powers/witchdom stuff works. How the fuck does she know any of that. How did she piece that together while she's in a dark void. How.

But you know what? Once you get past those three minutes, it's all good. Hanna and Mikoto have such a good god damn dynamic, wow. There are moments with surprising heart and clarity. Moments that make you think, "someone writing this really went through something." Hanna and Mikoto feel like real people-- they go back and forth on things. Sometimes Mikoto will feel one way and then completely backtrack and feel another, and it's not in a character-breaking way, but it feels more like someone who is standing on unsteady ground, who thinks one way and feels another.

Hanna does the anime trope thing of "I will be a villain to prove that heroism is right" which tbh I kind of hate because who the fuck does that irl. No one.

But it's okay, because honestly-- Hanna is not in a good state of mind here at all. Girl is clearly going through it. She had a horrible start to her life, still going through the horrors, she made her first friend then that friend BECAME A WITCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER IN A HORRID PAINFUL MANNER. THEN THAT FRIEND BECOMES A GHOST??? LIVING IN HANNA'S BRAIN??? LIKE. BRUH.

It doesn't surprise me that she's made her plan all convoluted. She's clearly not mentally well at the moment. I don't mean that in a diagnosis kind of way, but like the girl is traumatized and not thinking straight.

There's also all sorts of ways that you can dig into the event. It's straightforward on some stuff so you have a place to latch on to but it's ambiguous enough on other things so that you have enough wiggle room to have interesting interpretations and variances. Like;

Is Mikoto's presence making Hanna do things that she wouldn't normally want to do? Hanna wants heroism to win out. She wants to lose. Is that because, deep down, she's doing something she doesn't want to do?

I mean, Hanna has never been the nicest person either. It's possible she would have done this anyways-- but it's also possible that Mikoto's presence made Hanna even more extreme than she was before, or pushed her more than she ever would have gone.

There's just a lot of good stuff in it.

If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it. It does have weak writing moments sometimes but it also has really really strong ones. I think it's def up there as one of my favorites now.

It's kind of a shame that both of them are dead, cause I really digged their dynamic. It felt very... earnest. Sometimes they yell at each other, sometimes they disagree and misread one another. They both want to make the other one happy, but they go about it in selfish ways that the other one doesn't want. But that's not a bad thing. It feels like it's because they're young. Like they need to make mistakes to learn how to love the way they want to be loved and to love another.

But that's the whole problem, isn't it? Mikoto is dead. Hanna will be dead soon too. They're not going to have a future where those mistakes build a foundation for them. This is it for them.

IDK. It's good bro.

[boo-shigi]

Something I've realized upon re-watching season 4 is that, by technical means, there really was no confirmation that the Grey Knight was even Clay until "The Good, The Bad, and The Tightwad."

By that, I mean that Monstrox brings all kinds of stone things to life, most of which are statues who weren't living people beforehand. And even just bricks with faces in that one episode with the Great Rockowski. When Monstrox zapped Clay, it was entirely possible that it wasn't Clay, but rather just an evil/magical force that simply drove his body forward as Monstrox instructed. Like just some **thing** possessing his corpse. There was no given that it was Clay under some spell, but all of his friends kinda overlooked that because hey!! He's moving!! Hallelujah. The Grey Knight could've very well been its own being, residing like some parasite in a man who's no longer there

Anyways I'm not sure what to do with this information I just wanted to share that this arc could've taken a much darker, more terrifying turn with that. Some DHK shit. Anyways