#i just wish we got more proper content with him :/ i will forever be mad about this honestly

[kimmkitsuragi]

god i love wyll ravengard so much

[ch3rrysuck3r]

need more eddie roundtree fics on this website i’ll take anything from light smut to tooth-rotting fluff but please

OF COURSE DARLING!! your wishes r my commands. I've got a few requests for him, as soon as I get those out there's Eddie content for u guys!!

FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF cause my man is not happy enough tbh. (Don't worry tho, i have some smut requests i hope I get out this week!!)

ALSO, lets pretend Cami and Eddie never slept together, for the sake of their happiness. Eddie's hate for Billy simply comes from feeling like a second class citizen in a first class resort, like in the book!

Forever here, with you

Y/N Roundtree: Look, I love you. But I hated Billy. I say 'hated' because I haven't seen him in years, but, he was a proper asshole. I hope he's honest about that. You have no idea how many times I've had to keep Eddie from killing him.

Eddie Roundtree: He would be dead, probably, if it wasn't by Y/N. I think she might've been the one think that kept me grounded during the band. That kept it going for me. (Pause) Actually, no, I don't think. I know.

—————————

The band is playing in Las Vegas, for a sold out venue. It's one of their first shows for the tour, but so far, it's been going great.

The River is coming to an end, which means also is the show. As the final note plays, Billy is quick to thank the fans and leave stage, everyone following behind.

I start making my way to the back, where I'll be taken backstage. I finally reach the band once I'm out of the ocean of sweaty bodies and past security. As I make my way towards Eddie, I see Billy saying something to him and storming off. I can see Eddie's face from here, and he doesn't seem to be very happy. He is not angry, either, as he usually is after arguments with Billy.

"Hey!" I greet once I reach him, and his face lights up a little.

"Hey, gorgeous." His arms lift me up and spin me around, hugging me as tight as they can.

"Everything alright, Ed?"

He sighs deeply and rubs my arm. "Let's go back to the hotel, please?"

"Of course."

The hotel isn't that far away and the band was probably going to hang out backstage for a few more hours, so we decided to walk. It is a starry Tuesday night and the streets are not as busy. The shiny signs are enough to light the sidewalks. It's a silent walk. I know he's got things to say but I also know that any problem between him and Billy is too bad to talk about in public.

It doesn't take long to reach the Las Vegas Hilton, the receptionist greets us and I offer him a small smile. Eddie and I go into the elevator, hand in hand, and soon reach the comfort of our room.

I lay in bed and he needily cradles my body and sets himself on top of it, wrapping me in a bear hug. I run my fingers through his sweaty hair, feeling his chest rise and fall steadily.

"He didn't let me change some notes on the bass"

I sadden at the thought, knowing how sad this type of thing actually makes him feel. I try my best to comfort him with my actions as I think about something to say.

"He is an idiot."

He laughs against my neck and I smile a little.

"Okay, but actually; I know he gets to you and you have every reason to be as mad as you are. But you love the band, Eddie. And they need you. I am here for you, whenever and forever, you know that."

"I love you." He rasps onto my ear, lifting his head and pecking my lips. He holds both my arms against the headboard with a hand and keeps filling my face with quick kisses. I laugh andbfeel his lips against my teeth.

He abruptly stops and looks at me, in all seriousness.

"Marry me?"

—————————

Y/N: "What?!" (Laughs) I didn't know if he was being serious or not.

Eddie: Of course I was being serious. I knew I wanted to marry that woman the day I met her. I just had to wait for long enough to not seem a weirdo.

—————————

"Marry me?" He repeats the question with a laugh. My eyes water and I hug him. "Is that a 'yes'?"

"Of course it is a 'yes'."

"Great, let's go."

"Right now?!" He shoots me his million dollar smile.

"Of course right now, I can't wait to marry you."

I blush at the comment and make my way towards my suitcase, busting it open to look for something that may work like wedding attire.

"You do that, I'll go call Warren."

"Can you ring up Karen and Daisy for me, please?"

"Of course darling." He walks behind my body that seats on the floor. His hand grabs my neck, turning upwards my head and leaning down to give my lips a quick peck before leaving the room to look for a telephone booth.

I decide to wear a silver, long-sleeved dress. It's transparent enough you can see the outline of what's underneath, but I doubt it will matter. It reaches mid-thigh and is loose on my shoulders. I keep on the black boots I'm wearing and apply a bit of gloss to my lips. I see Eddie come back into the room in a forest green suit, no shirt underneath.

We both admire each other quietly. He clears his throat, eyes not leaving my body. I don't intend to peel mine off of his either.

"Warren was in his room, he let me borrow this so he's walking with us. Daisy and Karen are on their way to the chapel right now, they are taking Graham with them."

I thank him with a quick smile and kiss.

—————————

Warren Rojas: I don't remember much of that wedding, either. I know it didn't take us long to arrive to the chapel, tho. It was one of those classic ones in Las Vegas.

Karen Sirko: It was a beautiful chapel, very traditionally Vegas.

Graham Dunne: I remember Elvis Presley married them. (Laughs) Not actually him, you know. He'd pass a little less than a year before...great man.

Daisy Jones: I...don't remember much. (Laughs) I spent most of after the shows getting high and drunk. But I do remember that, once they said 'I do', Eddie picked her up in his arms and ran to the hotel, that was a few buildings down the street. We all ran behind them, screaming and popping champagne.

—————————

"Eddie Roundtree, do you take Y/N L/N to be your unlawfully wedded wife? To love, cherish and respect 'till the end?"

He grins at me and I do the same. "I do."

"Y/N L/N, so you take Eddie Roundtree to be your unlawfully wedded husband? To love, cherish and respect 'till the end?"

"I do."

"Then by the power given to me five minutes ago by this cheap chapel, I pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Roundtree. You may kiss the bride; I've got to attend another one of this."

We laugh and then kiss, cheers erupt from our drunk friends that stand besides us.

—————————

Billy Dunne: No, I was not invited to the wedding. I also couldn't care less, honestly. I always knew Eddie had something against me, I just payed no mind. I never had anything against him, I always tried to make him happy.

Eddie: We did actually get married, by the way. After the band split up an everything.

Y/N: It was the best day of my life. After the day our daughter was born, of course. But that's a story for another time.

[sandbees]

A few about the Great Seven interacting with Twisted Wonderland characters VIA Yuu. 👀 I only have one word summary; Chaos.

Who would meet the Great Seven first? Obviously the first years (along with Ortho and Grim). They’re Yuu’s best friends after all.

Actually, it was Friday, the last day of the week. And coincidentally, that night would be a special night at the House of Mouse. Ariel and her sisters would be performing that night.

Mickey told Yuu that that they could invite anyone to watch the performance. So Yuu went to get special permission to take their friends along with them.

After kidnapping Ortho After Yuu gathers everyone, they explain that they’re going out to see a special performance at their workplace.

Keep in mind that no one knows exactly what Yuu’s new job was except Grim and Crowley. So naturally everyone was in on it and curious. (Only Grim knows about Yuu meeting the Great Seven though)

Ace: So where do you work at?

Yuu: I work at a club.

Epel: ...As in a strip club or a book club?

Yuu: Wtf Epel? It’s like a club but no alcohol. It’s technically a restaurant but they have live shows and put on a lot of performances so-

Deuce: Oh! That’s cool, we get to see it together!

Yuu: Actually I’m not going to be with you guys. I’m on duty that day so I’ll be waiting tables. But I’ll join during break.

Ace: Really? Bummer.

Ortho: Aw, I wanted to hang out with you too! But it will be fun nonetheless. :D

Yuu tells them to wait downstairs as they go upstairs to get everything ready.

They are low-key nervous, because the House of Mouse isn’t...exactly normal by Twisted Wonderland standards.

Meanwhile, Grim was telling the first years about Yuu’s experiences there.

Grim: You know, the House of Mouse is really popular, I’ve heard about a lot of customers Yuu has met.

Deuce: This job must have been hard...I’m glad Yuu got it though!

Grim: Yeah, they pay them 5,000 madol! Isn’t that great?!

Sebek: 5,000 madol?! That’s a lot more than being a waiter.

Ace: In a week? I mean having a salary of 5,000 is pretty impressive.

Grim: Hehe, it’s actually 5,000 a day.

First Years: WHAT?!

Jack: To be able to pay that much...the owner must be wealthy.

Epel: Yuu lucked out!

When Yuu comes down, the first years are asking a billion questions.

How did you find a job with such a high pay??? Is the work good?? Is your boss nice to you?? Explain everything-

Yuu assured them that their job is just waiting a bunch of tables, and that they’re payed well because the place is very popular.

Anyways, Yuu tells them that they’re going now and leads them upstairs.

“Shouldn’t we be going to the hall of mirrors-?” “It won’t work.”

The group kind of loses their mind as Yuu casually pushes Ace into their mirror, Grim follows behind.

“Come on, or do I have to push you through the mirror like I did with Ace?”

Safe to say is that they go through the mirror and are greeted with a very lavish dressing room.

“Wait woah this isn’t Mickey’s dressing room.”

Yuu finds a note and read it out loud. Apparently Mickey moved the mirror to a new room so they could have privacy. Anything in the room is for their use.

“I’m going to cry. He’s so nICE I DON’T DESERVE THIS-“

Yuu is pretty happy with this arrangement, actually. They also begin to explain the club’s shtick to their friends.

“So this is basically a club for entertainment with live shows and also cartoons on the screen. Oh, and sometimes a cat named Pete tries to sabotage the show so he can kick everyone out and make this his club.” “Isn’t that illegal-“ “Not if there’s no police.”

So anyways Yuu leads them outside and they run into Goofy.

Sebek: Is that-?

Yuu: Hi Goofy, I’m bringing my friends to a table for the show-

Goofy: Yuu! There you are! You’re needed at table 14.

Yuu: What? But my shift hasn’t started-

Goofy: Reservations from Hades himself.

Yuu: Oh shit, ok yeah I’ll be there as soon as possible-

Ortho: Hades? As in the God of the Underworld?

Yuu: Yes, I’ll explain later, more importantly let’s go find you a table.

Ace: I think not telling us you actually met one of the GREAT SEVEN!

Yuu: I did tell you; and you didn’t believe me.

Everyone is vibrating in nervousness and excitement. Especially Ortho. I mean, this is the GREAT SEVEN we’re talking about!

Yuu decides to introduce them to Hades. But surprise surprise, it’s all of the Great Seven!

Yuu’s first year friends are going to pass out from shock. Oof.

With some inquiry, Yuu explains to the Great Seven that the friends they brought were from Twisted Wonderland.

Let’s just say that the First Years got invited to sit at their table. (Sebek is quaking at the idea of sitting with the Witch of Thorns)

So while Yuu leaves to start work (not after taking all of their orders first, of course), the Great Seven begin asking the first years + Grim questions.

The first years are expectantly tense, but they loosen up.

Ursula and Jafar are a little disappointed that no one from their dorm is present, but they seem to easily forget that after Yuu tells them that they know people from their respective dorms anyways.

Yuu also gives them a little more information they found about their respective dorms, so that they don’t feel...left out? (Satisfied is a better word for it)

Ursula pets Grim and Jafar feeds him crackers. Grim does not complain, he’s fine. He becomes more compliant as his tuna arrives.

And some of the other’s thoughts? Well...

The Queen of Hearts almost blew up in anger at Ace and Deuce. They are idiots that do nOT KNOW THE PROPER WAY TO SPEAK TO THEIR SUPERIORS AND THEY HAVE BROKEN AT LEAST 359 RULES ALREADY-

But somehow, the Queen of Hearts warms up to the idiotic duo. She sees them as...annoying children she has to babysit but they’re also really adorable that she can’t stay mad at them forever. Plus, Deuce is trying and Ace has these wonderful card tricks that would make her Jester cry.

So at first, she does not approve, but as the night progresses she does. 8/10 would meet the ADeuce combo again.

Scar and Jack...hm. Well, I don’t think they’d get along of Scar’s sense of morality and justice of the past was brought up. However, the villains all agreed to not bring up their villainous past because they didn’t want to scare away Yuu/make them wary and distrustful of them. Same goes for the first years.

Anyways, Scar is impressed at how buff Jack is. He isn’t surprised though - he expected residents of his dorm to be powerful. Scar lays down some well deserved praise and Jack eats it up with a tail wag. Jack also talks about his dorm and what the dorm represents. Scar’s ego rises 100x and Scar becomes somewhat...egotistical. Well, maybe not like in a “I’m shoving my ego in your face” type of ego but in a “This pleases me and I will treat you kinder” ego.

Basically, Scar opens up a little more to Jack as the night progresses. Like a mentor/student bond.

The Evil Queen and Epel...well, the Evil Queen was quite picky with how Epel was acting. Yes, he had the proper posture but really, he was using the wrong forks to eat that particular kind of food. She expected better from someone who came from her dorm. So she ended up chastising him and scolding him for being “improper”. Like Vil.

She was shocked to say when Epel accidentally snapped back at her, before returning to his more “princely” persona. Ah, so the child had more than meets the eye. She tried a different approach, as in trying to ease Epel into talking to her. Certainly, Epel was much more headstrong and willful than that naive Snow White.

So, the Evil Queen and Epel have a rocky start, but by the end of the show.

Hades and Ortho...well, that’s a combo you never see everyday. But I think Hades would basically adopt Ortho. As in suddenly he gets father vibes from the kid. He’s also particularly interested in his own dorm, and asks Ortho about it. Ortho’s pretty chatty with Hades, and is happy to tell Hades about his dorm! He also asks a few questions himself; which Hades happily obliged to.

...and then it turns into Ortho talking about Idia and how wonderful he is. And Hades is like, “damn, this kid has a wonderful big brother. How come my younger siblings act like shit to me-“

So Hades silently swore to the River of Styx to keep this child safe, and Ortho had a fun time interacting with Hades!

Sebek and Maleficent...well, it could have been worse.

Poor Sebek was tense and tight lipped for most of the night. He really wanted to make a good impression on Malleus’ grandmother. (I don’t think Sebek has met Maleficent yet so-)

Maleficent was patient, however. She knew Fae kind were raised to think of Maleficent as a high authority figure that should be treated with upmost respect. Unlike the other kingdoms; the Valley of Thorns praised Maleficent like a goddess. She didn’t blame Sebek for acting like he was.

So she started with baby steps. Talking about how wonderful it was to meet her grandson’s bodyguard, how Malleus must have grown to be a strong magician, how she wished she had stayed to know more about her grandson.

Actually, the breaking point between the tense atmosphere between the two was Malleus. Sebek opens up a little more as he continues to talk to Maleficent.

At the end of the night, they’ve only talked about Malleus, but Maleficent was content with that. After all, keeping up with what her grandson was doing was more than enough.

By the end of the night, the First Years enjoyed the special performance and their time with the Great Seven. Things went well especially when Yuu came to join during their break.

So when it was time to go, everyone had happily said their goodbyes as they were ready to return.

“Oh, before I forget...Yuu, I have almost completed the portals for the others so do expect one of us to pop in soon.” “Oh, ok!” “...THEY MIGHT VISIT US?!”

Everyone is low key excited to meet again though.

So, the first years go through the mirror and stay at Ramshackle, chatting away at their time at the House of Mouse.

_=_

Yeah, this was a looonngg write, I’m actually going to do the rest of the TW cast in another post. I hope you enjoyed this one! :)

[k-and-the-arts]

Lover - Willex

Pairing: Alex Mercer/Willie Word Count: 2412 Based on Taylor Swift’s song “Lover.” Read on AO3

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

 It all happened so fast. One minute, Alex was walking down Sunset Boulevard, clearing his head, and the next minute he was getting run over by a gorgeous boy on a skateboard. He wanted to be mad, he really did, but when the boy started talking, all anger dissolved. The skater was charming and dorky and was able to convince Alex to follow him after exchanging only a few words. 

Willie guided Alex to his favorite spot on Sunset Boulevard -- a simple bench that was “the best place to people-watch” as the skater had said. People in weird furry costumes and outfits of dead celebrities walked by, but Alex only had eyes for Willie. The brunette talked about everything that popped into his head, and none of it seemed to have a coherent flow. He mentioned his favorite places to skate, random facts about the ocean, and weird ways different famous people died. The blonde talked about his friends, the band, and the one time they ate street dogs that were so bad, they had food poisoning for three days.

“Reggie was convinced we were going to die,” Alex had told Willie, causing the other boy to burst into a fit of giggles that sounded like music to Alex’s ears. 

The drummer didn’t say much after that; he was content with listening to Willie’s voice and all of the stories that fell from his lips. He loved watching the way Willie’s eyes sparkled when something he was talking about reminded him of another topic, and it amazed Alex that the boy knew so much about everything.  

There was a lull in the conversation as the sun started to set, painting the sky in beautiful shades of purples and pinks and oranges. Willie was watching the sky but Alex was watching Willie. There was a dazzling glow around the boy that made him look ethereal. A small gust of wind blew through the street, causing Willie’s long hair to float gracefully around him. Alex’s breath caught in his throat and he tried to take it all in. He wanted to replay this moment in his mind over and over again for as long as he could remember it. 

There was suddenly a small, sharp pain in his chest; a sign of his anxiety taking over. He tried to push it down, push it away. His instincts told him to run, this is happening too fast, but his heart told him to keep his feet planted firmly to the ground. He had never felt so smitten about someone so quickly before and it was the most exciting yet terrifying thing he had ever felt. 

Even though they had been talking for only a few hours, Alex felt like he had known the skater his entire life. It felt like they were childhood friends, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But Alex knew there was still so much to learn, and his heart ached for so much more. 

As the sky grew dark, Willie’s gaze floated back to him. Alex quickly looked away, focusing his attention on the fairylights on building awnings and edging that had created an intimate glow around them. If Willie had caught him staring, he didn’t say anything, and Alex appreciated that. 

“I love leaving the Christmas lights up until January,” Willie said suddenly, causing Alex’s eyes to snap back to the boy that was beautifully sculpted under the soft light.

“Hmm?” Alex hummed, hoping Willie would continue.

Willie gestured to the fairylights above them. “I didn’t get to experience a lot of proper Christmases growing up,” Willie said quietly, as if talking too loudly would shatter the tension that had grown around them. “I want to experience Christmas for as long as possible. So I try to leave the lights and decorations up for as long as Caleb will let me, which is usually in January.” 

The question was on the tip of Alex’s tongue -- Who’s this mysterious Caleb? 

But he stayed silent, nodding to acknowledge Willie’s words. He knew Willie would tell him if he asked, but he needed something to look forward to when they talked again. If they talked again.

Willie opened his mouth to speak again but the sound of smooth jazz interrupted him. The brunette pulled his phone out of his pocket and sighed. He ignored the call but stood up from the bench, slipping the phone back into his pocket and placing the helmet back on his head. 

“It was really nice to meet you, but unfortunately I have to go. I’ll catch ya later, Hotdog,” Willie smirked, letting his board drop to the ground.

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

  Alex wanted to run after him, wanted to follow him home. He immediately missed Willie’s warmth and light and yearned to be by his side again. He rewatched the entire afternoon in his mind like a movie, and by the time he made it back to the studio, his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Julie and Flynn begged him to tell them everything, while Luke, Reggie, and Bobby teased him mercilessly. But he didn’t tell him any details and ignored the overdramatic swooning and kissy faces, refusing to let them ruin one of the best days of his life.

 We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

 The next three years were the most difficult and exhilarating years in Alex’s life. While his relationship with Willie grew wonderfully, along with the band’s success, his relationship with his parents fell apart. As soon as he graduated, he packed his bags and found the cheapest apartment he could. He took the first job that would hire him and tried to support himself as best he could. The Molinas offered to take him in but he didn’t want to burden them. The band suffered as they tried to find a way to rehearse around everyone’s work schedule. Alex could feel his life crumbling around him and he found it harder and harder to wake up every day.

But then there was Willie. He was the light in the darkness and the glue that kept him together. 

And when Willie suggested they move in together, Alex felt his heart stop. 

“I’ve been wanting to move out for awhile now and I already found a place that I can afford and it’s decent and I know this is like, a crazy huge step but --”

“Yes.”

The word flew from his lips before he allowed his brain to catch up, over think, and lose his nerve. The large smile that grew on Willie’s face was all the confirmation he needed that he made the right decision. 

Willie convinced Alex to quit his shitty job and convinced Caleb to let the band play at the Hollywood Ghost Club whenever they weren’t playing at other gigs. They were finally living the dream. Rehearsing and writing during the day and playing to large crowds almost every night. 

After their sets at the club, they would just linger around the building, mingling and making connections with the Hollywood elite that could afford to be there. Alex would watch Willie work, flitting from table to table and chatting up anyone who would look in his direction. It was amazing to watch him go from a dorky skater boy that couldn’t even finish a complete story without switching to a new topic, to a super charming and eloquent figure that never failed to convince a guest to give a very generous donation to the club. 

Alex was also pretty sure that half of the crowd was just as besotted with Willie as he was. But he knew he didn’t have to be jealous of anyone in the room. He knew he had Willie’s entire heart, just as Willie had his. And at the end of the night, he would be the one that would be holding Willie’s hand, and kissing Willie’s lips, and laying next to him in bed.

And if their friends got a little too drunk to drive home, he would be the one to help Willie carry them back to their apartment. He would be the one helping Willie rearrange the living room so that their friends had a place to sleep. He would be the one thanking him for being the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. 

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

 Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

  That same night, Alex was lying against Willie on the couch, playing with the skater’s rough, yet surprisingly soft fingers. Their friends were asleep, sprawled out everywhere on the living room floor, and Alex wished he could just freeze time and just stay in this moment forever. He was surrounded by his love and support and he couldn’t imagine anything better than this. Not until Willie whispered those words.

“Have you ever thought about marriage?” 

Alex sucked in a breath and his fingers were still against Willie’s. Had Alex thought about marriage? 

All the time.

Ever since they moved in together two years prior. But he always thought that it was too big of a thought; too obsessive. He didn’t want to scare Willie by moving too fast, even if they were just flashing ideas in his mind. He didn’t want Willie to leave him because he was too dependent, too attached to their relationship, too--

Alex realized how silent he had been and tried to scrounge up words so that Willie didn’t think he was freaked out, even if he kinda was.

But Willie didn’t seem to be bothered by Alex’s silence. Because Willie knew Alex so well. He knew exactly how Alex would react if he were to ask that kind of question. Willie continued, “I’ve thought about it a lot, recently. I’ve thought about us and this thing we’re doing. I don’t know all the details or anything, but I do know one thing for sure,” Willie paused and Alex looked up at him, waiting for the deep sentiment the boy was about to share. “Luke would definitely be the flower girl.”

This threw Alex into a fit of giggles and Willie’s smile was radiant. “I think Ruby would fight Luke for that position,” Alex said through his laughter.

At the mention of his sister, he sobered up. He had no doubt Ruby would absolutely want to be a part of his wedding; she would probably want to plan everything herself. He just hoped his parents would want to be there as well. Even if they didn’t agree with it, he’d hope they would at least care enough to see him happy. Thinking about how he would tell his parents and how they would react, his thoughts started to spiral once again.

It was as if Willie could sense his anxiety rising. He laced his fingers with Alex’s and squeezed reassuringly. 

Alex could feel Willie’s chest rumble as he spoke again. “We’re not gonna have a traditional wedding though. Those are too boring. Maybe we’ll do something crazy like have all the girls be groomsman and all the guys be bridesmaids. Or however it’ll work for us.” Alex didn’t really know either, but nodded in agreement. “And no traditional vows. We gotta get creative. Like, I dunno.  ‘I, Wilhelm Covington the Third,’”

“Willie, your first name isn’t Wilhem and you’re definitely not a ‘third,’” Alex chuckled, grinning up at his boyfriend.

“Shush, that’s what makes it creative. Now where was I? Oh yeah,

‘I, Wilhelm Covington the Third, with all the skateboard scars on my hand, take this magnetic force of a man,’” Willie paused, and Alex could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears as he tried to think of something funny. When that famous smirk crossed his features, Alex was ready to cringe. “‘I take this magnetic force of a man, Hotdog, to be my husband. Through cracked helmets and bad street dogs, and even when we’re ghosts.’”

Alex rolled his eyes but his smile only grew wider. He decided to play along, “and I promise to be super over-dramatic and constantly swooning over you.” 

“And you’ll save all your worst jokes for me. I want your lamest and dirtiest and cringiest jokes,” Willie added.

Alex nodded in agreement, trying to think of other funny vows. But the more he thought about it, the more everything was sinking in. Willie continued to ramble about silly vows and untraditional wedding things they could do. But all Alex could think about was the fact that Willie wanted to marry him. 

Willie wanted to marry him. 

He wanted to be Alex’s husband. He wanted to be Alex’s forever. No matter what life threw their way, Willie wanted to be by Alex’s side. He wanted to go everywhere and do everything with Alex. Through sickness, health, and everything in between. 

Alex looked back up at Willie and pushed himself up to interrupt his boyfriend with a gentle kiss to the lips. 

“Yes,” Alex whispered, his heart pounding and anxiety -- no, excitement -- filling his chest.

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Oh, you're my, my, my, my

Darling, you're my, my, my, my

Lover

[pxedpiper]

Horizon (18)

Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail

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A/N: Me: yeah shouldn’t take too long to update ! Me, almost two months later; ,,,,, ANYWAY I KNOW IT’S BEEN A HOT MINUTE but there’s been a lot going on and writing hasn’t exactly been the biggest thing on my mind (plus nct 2020 happened and that’s all i’ve been able to think about) BUT i am back and plan on writing the next chapter as soon as possible so as to not take forever again!! If you’re still here, I hope you enjoy this chapter uwu

After the three of you had come up with a plan, all there was left to do was wait until morning when Reeves would let you out. As such, you had to find ways to entertain yourselves while waiting, so you took to filling San and Wooyoung in on what troubles you caused Reeves while they were trapped in the cell. Needless to say, Wooyoung most definitely approved.

“You dumped a glass of wine on his shirt?!” He asked, cackling as he imagined it in his mind, “How the hell did you manage to do that without him losing it?”

“He wanted to, no doubt,” You scoffed, “But he wouldn’t dare harm the princess, I suppose, so nothing wrong with using that to my advantage.”

“Still, that’s brilliant,” Wooyoung grinned, “You really have been giving him hell, haven’t you? We’ve taught you well.”

“How has he only just snapped at you tonight?” San brought up, amusement in his own voice, “I’d have expect him to lose it from the very beginning, the fact he made it this long is a miracle.”

“Well, I suppose slapping him was probably his breaking point,” You answered, thinking back to when he’d finally broken, “He must not like it when someone doesn’t obey his command, it’s almost like he forgot I’m in a higher position than him.”

“That’s because while on this ship, no one is,” Wooyoung snorted, “He thinks he’s king of the world, and I’m willing to bet that’s why he really wants to marry you; if he marries you, he’s in line for the throne.”

You shook your head, “No, it was pretty clear to me that my brother would be the one in charge, I’d never be in power. He is the older of the two of us, after all, it makes sense.”

“But what if something were to happen to your brother?” The gunner raised an eyebrow, “Would the power return to your parents in that case? What if something happens to them as well? Reeves isn’t above murder to get what he wants, and I doubt being royalty would be enough to stop him if the throne is what he wanted.” Wooyoung’s words sunk into your head as your mind whirled with the information given. As much as you hated your family, you would never wish death upon them, that wasn’t right- especially not to a man like Reeves. Even your brother, as terrible as he was, was still close to you once. The thought of him being murdered for a crown… Not to mention the thought of Reeves as a king was enough to make you shiver with fear.

You swallowed, taking a deep breath, “We need to do whatever we can to make sure that this ship never makes it to the kingdom. The one thing that cannot happen is Reeves becoming king, if that happens, no one wins.”

“Don’t have to tell us twice,” San scoffed, “We’ll have no issue giving that bastard exactly what he deserves. We just have to wait for Hongjoong and stick to Wooyoung’s plan. We’ll be out of here in no time.”

“Right,” You nodded, giving them a small smile, “It’s what Hongjoong does best, after all- save people. We’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“It’s cure how much praise you have for him,” Wooyoung smiled, seeming genuine for once instead of teasing, “A far cry from how you felt about him at first. He’s got a natural charm to him, one you can’t just help but like.”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like him,” You replied, your smile turning fonder as you looked down, thinking of your captain before frowning, “I promised him I would never leave, and so soon after I already broke that promise. I hated the look on his face, how hurt he looked…”

“He knows you well enough by now to know you would’ve made that choice no matter what,” Wooyoung stated firmly, holding onto your shoulders, “He might not like it, but he probably knew that if you made the choice to let us die, it wouldn’t be like you. He’d rather have you as you are than someone you aren’t. Besides, he’s the same way; he would’ve given himself up for us in a heartbeat. You just managed to beat him to the punch.” Pausing a bit, he took a good look at your face before speaking carefully, “(Y/N), by chance, is the reason why you’re so distraught over breaking your promise to him because you… care about him?”

You looked up, confused, “Of course I care about him, I care about all of you, I thought I made that clear already?”

“No, that isn’t what I meant,” Wooyoung shook his head, “I meant like, in a different way than you do the rest of us-!”

“Are you in love with him?” San cut Wooyoung off, not wanting to see him try to find the right way to word things when he could just outright tell you. Wooyoung pouted at being interrupted, but as usual, was ignored.

You gaped at them, “W-What? In love with him?”

“You have to admit that you’re closer to him than the rest of us,” San pointed out, “There’s just this… connection you have with him that we don’t have with you. The others as well, they’ve all noticed it.”

“That’s just because we’ve met before!” You tried to explain, “I-I mean, neither of us remembers it, but Maddox said we have!”

“It’s more than that though,” Wooyoung pressed, “When Hongjoong was mad at you, you were practically like a kicked puppy, looking forlorn around the ship until he forgave you. Or how you immediately jumped in to fight Sweet the minute you saw Hongjoong in trouble, even though you were ridiculously outclassed-!”

“Hey, I held my own!” You argued, but were quickly ignored.

“That’s not to mention the many moments the two of you have had that you think we don’t know about-!” San continued before you cut him off again.

“Alright, that’s enough!” You almost shouted, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment, “Listen, I just… I’ve never thought about it before, and I haven’t exactly had much experience in feeling… love.” Even the word felt foreign to your tongue. “How am I supposed to know what I’m feeling is love if I’ve never felt it before?”

“Do you at least know if what you feel for him is stronger than what you feel for us?” San asked, looking at you with a soft, yet curious look on his face.

You sighed, “I don’t know, with you all, I feel like I finally have a proper family, like there won’t be any other people I’d ever be closer to. Literally, you’re the most important people in my life, that’s why I gave myself up for you.”

“And Hongjoong?” Wooyoung raised his eyebrow.

“Hongjoong… It’s a bit hard to describe,” You spoke slowly, trying to sort through your thoughts carefully, “It’s like… I’m instantly comforted whenever he’s nearby, he always knows exactly what to say. With him around, I feel like I can do anything, no matter how impossible it seems to be. He’s just so, so important to me, I don’t even know how to put it into words… I don’t really understand it myself, but I know that anything he’d ask of me, I’d do it, no questions asked.” You looked up at them, looking for answers, “Does that sound like love to you?”

“I think,” San said after a moment of silence, “That if that isn’t a description of love, I don’t know what is. But now isn’t the time to fret over things like that, we’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We’d better rest up now, we’ll be needing our energy.” You nodded, laying down on the floor of the cell, turning your back to them as you were left alone to your thoughts. Do I love Hongjoong? You thought to yourself, thinking back on every moment you’d shared with your captain. However, you weren’t able to come up with a good conclusion, and in the end you simply fell asleep, leaving your own question unanswered.

You supposed you’d know when you saw him again.

                                                           ~

“Quickly, follow me!” A young child’s voice rang out, running down a crowded alley, holding on tightly to the hand of a boy, just as young as she was, “We can’t let them catch us!”

“---, You’re going to get us in trouble!” Another voice, also a boy, sounded out from behind them, seemingly annoyed, “What are you thinking?!” For whatever reason, the name he had spoken was unintelligible.

“How am I supposed to just leave him, he’s all bloody!” The child, a girl, argued. “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”

“I-!” Using that argument, the other boy couldn’t seem to disagree, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”

“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” It was then the girl turned to the original boy, giving him a smile, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”

“My name is…”

                                                             ~

Hongjoong gasped, waking up from the odd dream as he grasped onto his head, which was pounding as he struggled to remember the details. Why had that scene seemed so familiar?

“What in the hell was that?” He whispered to himself, before shaking it off and getting out of bed, “Never mind that. There are far more important things to be worrying about today other than a silly little dream.”

                                                            ~

“Well?” Reeves looked at you expectantly, “Has your little adventure in the dungeon taught you your lesson?”

Playing the part of a perfectly obedient princess, you looked up at him with a grateful smile, “Oh, yes, I have. I apologize for my earlier behavior, I promise you I’ve learned. I won’t ever disobey you ever again, I swear on my title.”

Clearly pleased with your ‘apology’, Reeves smiled smugly, responding with, “Yes, well, I’m nothing if not merciful. I accept your apology, and you’re welcome to come back on deck if you so wish.” You almost gagged at hearing him call himself merciful, but held it in as to not raise suspicion. Wooyoung however, was not as successful, as you could hear a snort coming from his direction, but luckily Reeves didn’t pay it any mind.

“Yes, I would like to go back to my room now,” You kept up your act, “And to properly show my remorse, I’d like to join you for breakfast, if you wouldn’t mind. As a repayment for refusing your dinner invitation last night.”

Thinking over it a bit, he nodded, “Very well. I’ll allow you to your room to properly freshen up; no doubt staying a night with these heathens would make you feel as filthy as they are. Be sure to head straight to my quarters have your done, however; my men will be watching you to make sure.”

“Of course,” You agreed, keeping the smile on your face until you walked off to your room, letting it drop as soon as you were out of sight into a smirk. Back in the cell, hidden away from Reeves’s view, San and Wooyoung shared matching smirks of their own. So far, you had Reeves right where you wanted him.

Everything was going according to plan.

                                                          ~

“I must say, it is rather surprising how quickly it took you to come around,” Reeves said, his words slurring slightly due to the amount of wine he had consumed so far, “I’d have thought it’d take weeks in the dungeon to break you, the way you were acting, one night seemed like wishful thinking!”

“Yes, well,” You tried your best to let your smile not seem like a grimace, “It didn’t take long for me to realize I’m meant to be safe in a palace, not stuck on some uncomfortable ship.” You refilled his glass, making it seem as natural as possible so as to not give away just how much you had been giving him. The plan was simple: get him drunk enough to knock him out, grab the keys and free San and Wooyoung, take control of the ship, and then wait for Hongjoong. Luckily for you, as it seemed Reeves was a lightweight, having gotten tipsy at only one glass of wine. Now he was on his fourth while you were still on your first, taking small sips so as to not impact your own judgement. Thankfully, he hadn’t noticed yet, and at this point you doubted he would.

“Quite right. It’s a shame it took a night in the dungeon for you to realize that, but what your parents don’t know won’t hurt them. There’s no need to mention anything that happened while on this ship, now is there, Your Highness?” He looked at you expectantly, clearly expecting you to agree, an underlying threat in his eyes.

Unafraid, you smiled and nodded, “Of course. What happens here stays solely between us, Admiral. My parents will never hear a word of it.”

“Good, good. Wouldn’t be very good for me if I were to make my future in-laws angry with me before I even we’re even married,” He laughed, finding his own joke hilarious, though it really wasn’t that funny.

Still though, you giggled to appease him, “Yes, of course. They can be so temperamental sometimes, something like this would definitely set them off. Better to avoid the topic as much as possible once we meet them.”

“Naturally. Though, I am curious,” He leaned in, narrowing his eyes at you curiously, “How is it that you were willing to give up yourself up for some lousy pirates? No doubt they mistreated you heavily while you were in their ‘care’, if you could call it that. How kind you must be, to trade your life for theirs.”

You laughed nervously, unsure as to how to answer the question, when something in the small window caught your eye. There, you could see it now; it was The Utopia, sailing at full speed! San was right, they had made it just when he said they would! You couldn’t keep up the act once you saw it; you broke out into a huge grin, confusing Reeves, which caused him to look behind him to see what you were looking at. It only took him a second to realize what it was, sobering him up, but as he turned to yell out to the crew, you held a dinner knife to his throat.

“It’s over, Reeves,” You laughed, glad to finally drop the obedient act, “Hongjoong and the others will be here any moment. Just give me the keys to San and Wooyoung’s cell, and swear you’ll leave us alone, and you’ll get to live another day. But make even a peep, and I’ll slit your throat so fast you won’t even have time to realize you’re dying.”

Scoffing, Reeves merely responded, “You’re more of a fool than I thought if you think you can defeat me so easily. Don’t forget who has the upper hand while on this ship.” Elbowing you in the side, he clearly gave up on giving you special treatment as he grabbed onto you so you couldn’t escape, yelling out, “PIRATES! PREPARE TO BATTLE!”

Quickly, you stomped on his foot and elbowed him in the face before slashing at him with the knife, freeing yourself from his hold, “It’s no dagger, but it’ll have to do. I’m afraid you’re the one who underestimated me, Reeves. I haven’t spent all these months lounging around in a cell; I’ve gotten so much stronger than you think I have.”

“We’ll have to see about that,” Reeves smirked, confident in his own abilities and your inexperience to be able to win. Quickly, he rushed at you, trying to pin you to the table in order to subdue you, but you were to quick, rolling out of the way before trying to scan him to see where the keys to the cell were; seeing a shine of silver, you found them on his belt, running at him to be able to grab them. Of course, he wasn’t about to make it that easy, and he moved out the way before grabbing you by the hair and kneeing you in the stomach, making you cough up a bit of blood as you keeled over. “Look at you, you have a knife and you still can’t compare to me, someone who is completely unarmed! You have no chance, just give up now, before I decide to treat you to what your little friends had to endure.”

“That’s what you think,” You snarled before stabbing him in the leg, using the pain as a distraction to grab the keys while you were still level with them. Standing straight up, you held them up with a grin, jingling them for a bit before running off, quickly making your way to the dungeon as you heard him shout, “After her!”

Now being chased by Reeves men, you hurried as quickly as you could to the dungeon, quickly finding the right cell and moving to unlock it, “Quick, we have to hurry! I wasn’t able to knock Reeves out and now the whole ship’s gearing up for battle!”

“What happened?” San questioned as you tried to find the right key, “What’s going on?”

“Hongjoong’s made it,” You grinned up at him, finally managing to unlock the door, “Come on now, let’s go!” The three of you made your way up to the deck, trying to make it to the weapons so you’d be able to fight your way out, but unfortunately, there were far too many people for just the three of you. Before you knew it, you found yourself back to back with San and Wooyoung, surrounded by Reeves crew as they were armed and ready for a fight.

“Don’t forget, Your Highness,” Reeves spoke up, revealing himself from within the crowd, “I tried to show you mercy, but you refused to give in. What happens next is on your head, not mine.”

Just then, a familiar voice rang out, “That’s because after what happens next, your head won’t even be attached to your body, you rotten, festering, disgusting bilge rat!”

Laughing out of sheer relief, you grinned, “Hongjoong!”

There, standing on the banister of the ship, was your beloved captain, the Pirate King himself.

And he looked more determined than you ever saw him before.

[naerysthelonesome]

Before I Go

A Jeyna fic no one asked for.

Listened to folklore again and was cursed with feelings. I’m sorry.

Please, picture me in the trees I hit my peak at seven Feet in the swing over the creek I was too scared to jump in But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me Are there still beautiful things?

Reyna, Jason had found in the two years he’d known her, did not tell people things about herself. And she sure as hell did not talk about her childhood. So he was surprised and more than a little gratified when she’d decided to tell him about her life in San Juan.

He couldn’t stop thinking of her now, as a happy little girl with untidy braids and a bright smile, strolling the cobbled streets with her big sister. Dancing around in the dappled shadows of the banana trees as the salty breeze blew past.

She’d told him of how she’d tried to catch a Coqui frog once, but had failed spectacularly. She gotten herself scratched up and muddied, and ripped all her clothes. Her older sister, she’d said, could be scary when she was mad, and Hylla had been infuriated at the state of her when she got back from the field. She spoke of that summer like it had been the best one of her life.

He couldn’t begin to make sense of how he felt about Reyna, but knew without a doubt that he liked the idea of spending a summer with her in San Juan. They could walk down the streets and she could point out her favorite cats, and trees, and rocks, and he’d make sure to remember every single one of them. They could spend long days with the old men playing dominoes, sucking on Piraguas without a care in the world.

But he knew these were just dreams, memories of a life long gone. Reyna barely spoke about her home town, let alone made plans to go back. Jason was not nearly dense enough to believe her life back then had been all sunshine and beautiful colours. They were demigods, and all demigods had monsters. Maybe someday, Reyna would tell him about hers.

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Your braids make a pattern Love you to the Moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

Jason was nothing more than a ghost now. Barely even a lare, who unlike himself, could be seen and talked to. That was alright. He wasn’t here to be perceived.

He’d tried to visit his friends multiple times over the months since he’d died- to see them one last time, for just a moment of closure- but this was the first time he’d had any success.

Of course the first person he came to see had to be Reyna. He’d missed her more than he knew he could miss a person. He supposed it was because he hadn’t so much as had a proper conversation with his best friend since Juno had so rudely snatched him away. And then it had taken so much time, time he only later realized he didn’t have to waste, for his memories to return fully. All he’d had of her for so long had been a space in his heart where she should have fit. Not a name, or a face, but a feeling. He wished he’d had more time to find his way back to her.

Reyna meant more to him than he had ever told her, and familiar regret came bubbling up like bile in his throat. Wasn’t the afterlife supposed to give him peace? But how could there be peace when there she sat, thick braid hanging loosely over her shoulder, sharpening her silver dagger? She looked so beautiful in the moonlight, her breath fogging up in the cold air seeming to breathe life into his dead soul. He’d never stopped loving her.

He was glad she’d found a home with the Hunters of Artemis. For the first time in a long time, she looked free. And while it meant they wouldn’t meet again anytime soon, he was glad to know she had the chance to live a long, long life. One full of the adventures and love and happiness she deserved. A small, perhaps selfish part of him hoped she wouldn’t forget him along the way.

And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why I think you should come live with me And we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet And just like a folk song Our love will be passed on

Wanting to strangle someone that didn’t exist was a strange feeling, but one that was evoked in Jason every time Reyna mentioned her father. Neither of them had had happy childhoods or good parents, it seemed. Well, that was something to bond over.

It hadn’t been easy for Reyna to talk about him, which he understood, especially now that he knew how that story ended. He didn’t blame her one bit for what she’d done, but couldn’t help but wish she hadn’t had to make such a decision at all. The burden it seemed she would always bear was heavy, and she shouldn’t have been made to carry it at all. Not speaking ill of the dead kept getting harder by the second.

Maybe if her story had gotten better after she and Hylla had run away, his nerves wouldn’t be feeling so shot. Circe’s island should have been an escape. With its sandy beaches, and palm trees, and miles of sparkling blue ocean Reyna liked to describe in such detail. But no. All the adults in their lives had to be exploitative bastards. Reyna hadn’t sounded too angry about it though. She’d laughed as she recounted her tales of turning pirates into guinea pigs, coerced into the act as she may have been. Jason couldn’t lie- he saw the allure.

Speaking of pirates- the one’s Reyna had escaped with unfortunately hadn’t been the swashbucklery kind either. They’d been the cut-throat, cruel kind and now Reyna couldn’t stand sea shanties anymore; which was alright with Jason since he couldn’t sing anyway. The only reason the sisters had to escape with them at all had been because two upstart demigods she refused to divulge the names of, decided to blow up the island. Jason couldn’t decide whether he wanted to smack them upside the head for it, or thank them profusely for unwittingly steering Reyna to Camp Jupiter.

He hoped that here, she’d finally found a home and a place to rest. It wasn’t perfect, not even close, but she was making it hers. Reyna was already well on her way to becoming a praetor, and he knew she’d make one of New Rome’s finest.

Please, picture me in the weeds Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously Any time I wanted

Jason often wondered how Reyna had thought of him after she’d found out about his history. There hadn’t been much he’d been able to remember about his own childhood. He’d been only two years old when he’d been given to Lupa, and all his memories of a family were little more than a blur. His home had been Camp Jupiter for most of his life, and he truly couldn’t remember another.

When he’d told her all he could remember of how it was to be raised by a wolf, she’d only looked amused. She’d simply looked him up and down and laughed. She had a cute laugh, all snorts and shaking shoulders. He didn’t always understand the things that made her laugh, but laughing with her felt so natural he did it every golden time.

He wondered if she’d had anyone to laugh with when he was taken away. Had she missed him? Every memory he’d had of her had been snatched away, but there were some people with whom you were so completely intertwined, even the Gods couldn’t untangle the strings. Perhaps he couldn’t place a name to what had been missing, but he had remembered her. Even in death, he would remember.

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other And though I can't recall your face I still got love for you Pack your dolls and a sweater We'll move to India forever Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

What he wouldn’t give to go back and have one last Hot Chocolate with her in the Garden of Bacchus, to speak one more sentence in Spanish (Te amo, Reyna) and hear her snort at his accent, to brush her hair behind her ear once more. He hadn’t told her nearly enough times, how much he’d loved her laugh.

What he wouldn’t give to have one last chance to confess to her how he felt, with Aurum and Argentum there so she knew none of it was a lie.

But there was nothing he could give to turn back time, or build himself a different fate. They could only be together now in stories, and memories, and alternate universes. If there were any kind Gods left, perhaps in an afterlife that wouldn’t come for centuries.

Maybe he should feel sadness or loss, looking at her now for the last time. Mourn the loss of all the happiness they could have had together. He was going to leave again without a way to say goodbye or wish her well or have her look at him, but all he felt was contentment. She sat around a glowing fire, surrounded by her friends and sisters, singing soft campfire songs and telling stories of old. Maybe someday, she’d narrate their story too.

Jason finally found peace in the knowledge that his girl was going to be okay.

[stardustryewriting]

A Learning Process (1)

AO3 Link: here

Synopsis: Bakugou isn’t exactly in touch with all of his feelings. Kirishima usually doesn’t mind. At least not, until Bakugou starts to get weird around him. 

Part 2 3 4 5

Observational Learning

Contrary to popular belief, Bakugou didn’t mind his class all that much. He had called them ‘extras’ a lot, when school had begun, but that was mostly because he was really bad at remembering people’s names. All in all, they were a decent bunch, some of them really strong, some of them aiming really high and all of them very determined. He could appreciate that, at least.

What he couldn’t appreciate, however, was their tendency to get involved in all kinds of gossip. Or, to be more exact, how loud they tended to be, when they found a particularly interesting piece of gossip. Getting mixed up in other people’s business was their thing. But being obnoxiously loud about it and basically screaming their findings to each other in the classroom, got him involved too. And he hated being involved in anybody’s business.

People told him - quite often actually - he eluded an aura that made him unapproachable. That he always seems like he was going to snap and scream at someone. That really, people only asked him for help, when every other possible choice was eliminated prior.  Which was mostly bullshit, of course. Kirishima asked for his help all the time, without ever being scared of him. And he only really snapped when people got on his nerves for too long. Or when Deku was involved, which was the same thing really. Deku just got on his nerves a lot faster than other people. Still his ‘aura of unapproachable’ kept him from being involved in most of his classmates shenanigans.

Most, being the key word.

No matter how much he scowled, how much he glared or how annoyed the undertone in his voice got when he told them that ‘No, he did not care at all. He doesn’t give a rats ass about it.’ , none of this helped against Kirishima’s sunshine declaration of ‘They are finally, officially together’. Because, of course Kirishima doesn’t care about Bakugou’s obvious bad mood and his blatant disinterest on the topic. He never did. It was one of the main reasons why they were as good friends as they were. It was also annoying Bakugou to no end, at that moment.

“And who cares?”, he grunted, throwing his shoes up on the table and looking out of the window to drive to point home. And really, it spoke for the general mood in the class right now, that Iida didn’t even try to reprimand him for that. Usually this would be the start of an argument on being proper and respectful. An argument that both Kirishima and Deku would try to keep on the down low, by trying to mediate between the two. But right now, Iida’s attention was all taken by trying to calm the ruckus and getting everyone to sit down, before Aizawa would come in to start homeroom. For once, Bakugou could agree with Iida, even if he would never say it out loud. They were too damn noisy.

“You can’t be serious!”, Kirishima exclaimed and even without looking, Bakugou could tell that there was a big smile on his lips, “Todoroki and Midoriya danced around their feelings forever. This is a big development!”

“It’s two dudes kissing! No need to make a spectacle out of it!”, he retorted, shooting Kirishima a look which he hoped conveyed just how done he was with this. Ever since these two had shown up holding hands that morning, it was the only thing on everyone's mind. And after Todoroki had stated, in a very blunt way that only Todoroki could do, that yes they kissed, the whole class just exploded with euphoria. As if it was their personal accomplishment. Which it wasn’t, Bakugou wouldn’t even call it much of an accomplishment at all. It would have happened eventually, anyways.

“Well it was a long time coming!”, Kirishima argued back like it was his personal mission to make Bakugou see just how important this was, “You could at least be happy for your friends.”

“They’re not my friends!”, Bakugou argued instantly, before Kirishima got some other weird ideas in his head. Hell would be frozen over, before he called Deku his friend. He was just about to tell that to the dumbass next to him, when the classroom door opened, revealing Aizawa.

The man looked way too tired and done for a Tuesday morning, but today Bakugou resonated with that on a deeply personal level. He too wished that this entire week was over already, in hopes the waves of euphoria from the ‘news’ will have died down by next week. Realistically, he knew the chances were slim. He refused to think about that. Aizawa somehow managed to get all of the class to their seats and be quiet with just one look, so really Bakugou was mostly grateful for him that morning.

That gratefulness lasted exactly two minutes, before Aizawa announced another field-trip-turned-training-exercise. At least he had a month to mentally prepare himself for that.

__________________

That fact that he would need to prepare for that field more than just mentally, didn’t hit him until lunch break. And to be fair, he wasn’t really thinking about it then, either. He was actually just about to take a bite out of the Onigiri from his bento (that he had made himself and no, he wouldn’t make one for anyone else, no matter how much they begged), when Kirishima interrupted his peace yet again.

Bakugou couldn’t say he liked that tendency.

“Shit guys, does anyone have bug spray?”, he asked, mouth full with his sandwich, which honestly irked Bakugou even more than the question itself. Had no one ever taught this guy basic table manners? The answer was apparently no, no one ever bothered. Or maybe it just was a thing in their group, because both Kaminari and Sero also had their mouths full, when they exclaimed that no, there was no bug spray to have between them. Which was a stupid thing to be that aggrevated about.

“What do you need bug spray for anyway?”, Bakugou mumbled, after swallowing and he could already feel himself getting annoyed. What a stupid discussion to have over lunch, really.

“The training camp?”, Kaminari stated, his voice getting higher at the end, even though it clearly wasn’t phrased as a question, “I can’t have the mosquitos eat me up again. I swear, I’m just too damn cute.”

“Questionable”, Jirou said, wholly unimpressed by Kaminari getting mad at her and instead just opting to continue eating quietly. When she even got to their table, Bakugou had no idea.

“He is not completely wrong tho”, Kirishima said and Bakugou could see Kaminari in the background puffing out his chest and raising his chin, proudly. As if the idiot had any justification for being proud. He just stated a simple fact. “We do need bug spray for the mosquitos.” Kaminari visibly deflated at that. Bakugou, on the other hand, could feel his anger rising. Did that idiot really think Kirishima would agree that he was cute?

“Just go shopping then”, he said, just wanting to end this damn discussion. It wasn’t even useful, with the answer lying so obviously within reach. They all just liked to make a big fuss out of nothing. Exactly like that same morning.

“Can’t”, came a chorus of answers from all around their table with various excuses. Jirou had study sessions with Yaoyorozu. Kaminari booked the training hall, surprising everyone. Bakugou didn’t really care.

“I have time. Want me to get something for you guys?”, Kirishima volunteered starting what was possibly the worst verbal onslaught happening that day. Which said something, considering the ruckus these idiots had made that morning. Kirishima dealt with it very patiently tho, writing down who needed what. Which proved that Kirishima was way more organised than Bakugou would have given him credit for.

“Do you have anything planned this afternoon?”, Kirishima asked, with a strange undertone to his voice, that Bakugou couldn’t quite place. He could however think of where this question was headed. And he was quick to shut it down.

“I’m not going shopping with you!”

“Aw, c’mon man. This’ll be fun”, Kirishima argued, shooting Bakugou his best open-mouthed smile, presenting all of his teeth. If he thought that would sway Bakugou’s decision, he would need to think again. No way would Bakugou cave that easily.

“Find someone else.” And then to signal that this talk was really, completely over, Bakugou took another bite of his food. Kirishima just winked at him, unbothered by Bakugou being the way he is and instead turned around in his chair to face the table behind them. Oh no.

“Hey, Midoriya”, he shouted, which was unnecessary, because Deku was two arm lengths away at best, “where did you buy that super good bug spray again? You know the one you had for the last training camp.”

“That was Uraraka’s. She bought it at the mall. I don’t know the name of the shop, but I can show it to you. Are you free this afternoon?”, Deku answered, ever the helpful idiot that he was. Well, at least Kirishima found his shopping buddy. And Bakugou could be at peace.

“Sure am, thanks. Meet in front of the store at 3:30? I’ll bring Bakugou.”

No, he sure as hell wouldn’t. Bakugou was quick to voice that.

__________________

The question ‘How the hell did I get talked into this?’ went through Bakugou’s mind approximately a thousand times, between leaving the dorms and arriving at the shopping center. Which was impressive, because the way had only taken them fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes that Kirishima had filled with bright chatter, either blissfully oblivious to Bakugou’s mood or willingly ignoring it. He would regret this for sure. Bakugou would make him regret it. Later. For now, he was content to just listen to Kirishima chatter about anything and everything that came to his mind. It wasn’t the best use of his time, but it wasn’t the worst either. Not that he would ever admit that.

And so, while Kirishima’s chatter became a pleasant buzz in the back of his mind and Bakugou was starting to think about what he would need for their next training camp, he felt himself being more calm than he had been the entire day. Which wasn’t hard, not with the day he had, but it was still nice.

It was promptly taken from him.

Crossing the last traffic light separating them from the shopping center, where Deku was already waiting for them, he saw something. Something that made him want to turn around and go home again. To hell with Kirishima not wanting to go alone, that was no reason why he should subject himself to what will essentially be an afternoon of torture. There was no way Bakugou would just accept this like it was nothing.

Deku brought his fucking boyfriend.

“Midoriya, Todoroki”, Kirishima shouted happily, being way more enthusiastic than he had any right to. He sped up, holding up one of his arms to wave at them, which Deku promptly returned just as enthusiastic. Todoroki gave a way more timid wave and Bakugou decided he wouldn’t bother at all. No need to fake friendliness. Or that he wanted to be there.

“Kirishima, It’s good to see you”, Deku greeted, as if they hadn’t just spent hours at school together and Bakugou felt like punching something again. Why did he always feel to need to use those overly polite yet completely unnecessary phrases? Why couldn’t the idiot just be normal.

“We just saw them at school”, Todoroki pointed out and Bakugou would have nodded to agree with him, but he had his pride. No way he was going to openly agree with Deku’s boyfriend on anything. Even if it was criticizing Deku. So while Deku explained to his socially stunted boyfriend what a polite phrase was, which somehow developed into a discussion about whether or not those were time wasting ( Yes, they are, Bakugou wanted to shout, but that would be admitting to listening in on their conversations.), Bakugou started one last try to get away from all of this before it became even more of a waste of time.

“Hey Kirishima”, he addressed the boy, who looked at Deku and Todoroki with something close to a fond smile, “have fun third-wheeling on their date. I’m going home.” And with that he turned his back, hoping to get out before Kirishima could make an argument against it. A futile hope, really.

“No, come on, Bakugou”, Kirishima said in a voice that sounded an awful lot like begging, so much so, that it made Bakugou stop midstep, “I didn’t know he would bring Todoroki. Please don’t leave me alone, I don’t wanna be a third wheel.”

“And how am I supposed to help that?”

“Simple”, Kirishima, who walked around so he could face him again, smiled at him like he was the fucking sun himself, “You stay here with me, so I don’t feel left out all the time.”

“And why would I do that?”, Bakugou inquired, feeling how he got closer and closer to yelling out his frustrations. It was Kirishima’s stupid idea to go shopping with Deku, so Kirishima should be the one dealing with all of the consequences. By himself. He had no right to involve Bakugou in this.

“Because we’re friends?”, Kirishima argued, but Bakugou could tell by the way he winced at himself, that he wasn’t convinced by his own argument. He shouldn’t be. Since when did friendship mean having to subject himself to the drama that Kirishima essentially brought over himself. Old Bakugou would have laughed at him and went on his way.

But old Bakugou wasn’t really hero material. Old Bakugou also wasn’t Kirishima’s friend.

“Fine”, Bakugou grunted and Kirishima’s lit up immediately, “but you owe me.”

“Sure.” Kirishima smiled easily leading him back to where Deku and Todoroki were waiting for them, obviously finished with whatever they were doing. At least Deku had the decency to look ashamed and apologize for getting off-track (wasting their time, if you asked Bakugou). Kirishima waved the apology away and they finally got started shopping. Bakugou couldn’t shake the feeling that this was gonna be a long afternoon.

__________________

He was right, of course.

Todoroki and Deku continued to flirt incessantly. Bakugou had a burning pain in his eyes from rolling them too much and a new record in fake-gagging. Kirishima always reprimanded him for the last one. The idiots in question seemed painfully oblivious to their flirting, which made it that much more irritating. They promised they would stop everytime and then they just continued. Bakugou was about ready to scream the entire mall down.

Kirishima took it all way too lightly, in his opinion. He smiled at them gleefully and he even had the audacity to defend them, when Bakugou complained. Don’t you think it’s nice to be that in love? No, he didn’t. It’s annoying to be that in love as Kirishima put it. Could you even be in love after not even 24 hours of dating? Fat fucking chance.

“Get me some food, before I blast this entire mall down”, Bakugou grunted out, eying Kirishima dangerously. He wouldn’t actually do it, but if a threat got him some distraction, he wasn’t above using it.

“Sure thing”, Kirishima agreed, asking for preferences, before he went off. Deku accompanied him - not without making heart-eyes at Todoroki and only reluctantly letting go of his hand - and Bakugou didn’t even fight the urge to roll his eyes. Damn nerd being dramatic. Todoroki shot a knowing smile his way that only angered him more.

“What are you smirking about?”, Bakugou asked, very clearly hearing the annoyed undertone in his voice that failed to deter Todoroki. Like it always did.

“I don’t know. I just like the double date.”

“THE WHAT?”, Bakugou screamed, turning several heads towards them, none of which he cared about. What did the half-n-half-bastard just call this? He was sure he must have misheard. That, or Deku’s boyfriend had a very urgent death wish. One that Bakugou wouldn’t mind granting him, right now.

“Double date. Isn’t that what you call it, when two couples spend time with each other?” He had a death wish, Bakugou determined. There was no way he was really that dense. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Deku and Kirishima running towards them. They better be there fast, or there would be a real fight between him and that bastard.

“This is not a double date”, he gritted out, looking at Todoroki, daring him to disagree. Unfortunately, Kirishima was there faster than he expected, Deku on his heels. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

“Guys, what’s wrong, you’re making a scene”, Kirishima whisper-shouted when he arrived looking between them, as if he could get the answer from that. Instead of answering Kirishima - or focusing on his boyfriend like he had the entire goddamn afternoon - Todoroki decided to continue his chat with Bakugou.

"It feels like a double date to me", Todoroki said, ever the blunt one and Bakugou felt himself slowly losing it. Actually, not so slowly.

“What?”, Kirishima questioned, clearly caught off-guard.

“Shoto!”, Deku exclaimed at the same time, cheeks red and trying to get his boyfriend to pay attention to him again. Probably to dissolve the tension building between him and Bakugou. Bakugou for his part was ready to fight the bastard seriously.

“That’s not it at all! Bakugou and I aren’t dating”, Kirishima hurried to explain, putting himself between Bakugou and Todoroki while doing it, “We’re just friends. Nothing more to it.”

And that struck something deep within Bakugou. Something unpleasant, that he already hated, despite experiencing it for the first time. It was weird, nothing out of the ordinary happened - despite Todoroki’s absurd claim of course. Still he could feel his insides twisting, like someone plunged a knife in his gut. Instinctively he looked down to check, but saw nothing but his shirt. Weird.

He heard Deku and Kirishima try to explain the situation to Todoroki, but it was off. As if they were far away, instead of standing right in front of him. He caught a glance of Kirishima awkwardly rubbing his neck, while talking, Bakugou could see his mouth move, but he couldn’t make out the words. Like something was covering his ears. Kirishima smiled and his stomach twisted again.

He felt like he was getting sick.

“I’m out”, he said, not bothering whether or not they could hear him and then he swiftly moved. He needed air, to clear his head. And he needed to investigate their weird feeling in his stomach. That apparently correlated with Kirishima. Which could mean a lot of things.

It could mean anything, he tried to tell himself, while he made his way outside as fast as possible without his explosions accelerating him. He didn’t have the clear head to use them for that purpose right now.

It could mean anything, he told himself, when he heard Kirishima calling after him, a concerned undertone in his voice, that made Bakugou want to turn around. He wanted to snap, that he could take care of himself. He wanted to bathe in the knowledge that Kirishima cared for him.

It could mean anything, he insisted, when he finally made it outside and his feet automatically dragged him to the station. He took a deep breath, that helped exactly zero percent in the quest to clear his head and then he fiddled with his phone. He desperately needed the distraction.  

It could mean anything , he reminded himself later that night, after Kirishima had dropped off his forgotten shopping bags and asked if he felt alright. Bakugou told a half-lie about an upset stomach and Kirishima offered to make tea. Which he declined, because he could take care of himself, thank you very much.

Kirishima had brought up some tea anyways, paired with some bread because it was safer not to risk upsetting his stomach anymore. Then he told Bakugou to just knock on his wall if he needed anything else, like the considerate idiot he was. He gave him a big smile before he left, one which twisted Bakugou’s stomach again, but it was also accompanied by a squeezing feeling in his chest this time. And Bakugou wasn’t an idiot, he knew these signs, when he saw them.

It could mean you have a crush, a traitorous voice in his mind whispered. Bakugou hated himself, for how much he actually considered the possibility.

[airi-p4]

Last chance - Chapter 4

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |  AO3 This chapter is Luka's POV of what happened before day 6 and during chapter 3 (present time). 

___________________________________________

Luka’s POV

6  days earlier - somewhere in United States of America

As soon as I reach the airport with Chloe, our private jet is already ready, with her loyal assistant (butler?) ready to take the controls of the plane. Who would have thought Mister Jean… what was his name again? Jean-Paul? Jean-Pierre? Jean-Pascal? Whatever. We have a pilot and we can reach Paris in a few hours.

The plan is to get there and use Adrien's private plane instead of Chloe's to go to Tibet: a safer plane for difficult flying conditions, that’s mostly it.

Adrien… it's been a while since we talked. I wonder if he hates me like Chloe used to. Was he even aware of Chloe's revenge plans? I can't deny I'm curious, but these aren't the thoughts that occupy my mind at the moment.

There's still a few hours left and I can't stop thinking about Marinette's messages.

'I love you'

Is it for real? This isn't some kind of hidden camera, isn't it? Can I trust these words? I certainly want to… but should I? I need to hear it directly from her to believe it. I don't want to keep my hopes up just to sink deeper.

No matter what, I need to arrive earlier than the time Alix created for us. I need to stop her from doing something stupid and unnecessary.

Please… let me save her. Let me make it in time. Let me help her find her happiness. That's all I've ever wanted… What can I do to help her? Am I really the one she wants? Can I really help her? What if I'm not enough?

A big sigh leaves from my mouth.

"Baby, you should rest. You haven't slept much tonight, haven't you? There are still some hours left. Try to get some sleep"

This… is unexpectedly considerate from Chloe. I'm relieved her attitude has improved after these years. Hell, I wouldn't have proposed to her if I weren't sure she had changed. But her plans against Marinette… Oh, that’s right. I still have some talking to do with her. But maybe I should listen to her advice and get some rest first.

"Thanks, ho- Chloe"

Stupid habits. I need to stop calling her ‘honeybee’ already. Ugh… it's not as easy as I expected… I'm the type of man who likes stability… habits are hard to break for me.

I don't need to see Chloe’s face to notice her heart song is now sad and remorseful. My eyes are closed, but I can't sleep. Worries about Marinette keep my mind occupied. But it seems at some point I had entered my dreamlands. I really was exhausted, no wonder. A music video recording plus wedding preparations with Chloe is some energy-draining combo.

"Where are we now? How much time until Paris?"

"Still a long way. You've only slept for 30 minutes. Get some more rest, baby, you’ll need it"

"No. I'm fine. I got enough sleep. Instead… We should talk"

I’m trying to sound serious and not scary, but I’m not sure if I’m accomplishing it… probably not.

"Oh… already? You didn't need to think much, huh? Geez. All this is ridiculous. Am I that easily disposable to you?"

"You know that's not it, Chloe. You know I care for you. But you also know my feelings for Marinette are… never going to fade. I don't know if she's still the same girl she was when we used to spend time together, but if she is… Then I know my heart won't hesitate"

"Yeah… I've always known that. Always Dupain-Cheng. I've never been good enough for you"

"Hey! That’s not true. Don't take it as if you're not extraordinary, Chloe, because you are. And I’m sure there's someone out there ready to notice and appreciate you. You deserve better than me"

"Well, I don't care about that 'someone out there'. All I want is you, Luka! Is staying with me even an option for you? Has it ever been? Why did you propose to me if you planned to throw me away as soon as you had the chance to?"

She's hurt. Horribly hurt. Still working her pride to cover how devastated she actually is. But the tears on her eyes are not doing a very good job to hide it.

I feel horrible.

And I have no excuse.

I never expected Marinette to return my feelings. But if she really does… I have to be honest with Chloe. She deserves the truth.  

"No, hon- Chloe. I'm sorry. I never planned to use you as a rebound. I wanted to marry you, for real. I really tried to move on. I’ve wished for Marinette's happiness over everything, and... If I had known she wasn't happy… things would have gone differently, no doubt. I’m sorry for hurting you. You don’t deserve it"

"You would have run to her the instant she broke Adrien's heart if you had known about her feelings. You’ve never loved me like you love Marinette, not even close if you’re able to decide this fast to dump me even when our wedding is coming soon. You have no shame"

Wow, her words surely sting. Who is supposed to be the snake one here? Oh, well. I guess she wasn't a wasp for nothing…

"I wouldn't have met you if I had known she wasn’t happy. I don't regret the time we have spent together. I love you too, just in a different way"

"Do I have a chance to win you back?"

Straight to the point, huh? Typical of her. I don’t want to hurt her, but I need to be honest with her.

"I don't know. Probably not, I'm not going to lie. But I really wish for your happiness and I wish we could still be friends when everything is over"

Ah... I can feel that deadly glare pierces through my heart. Wow, she’s really angry. And hurt. Not that I can complain. It’s totally understandable and I deserve the hate. Anger over embarrassment, huh?

"Give me a percentage. What are my chances?"

What an unbelievable question. But it’s so Chloe. I blink a few times as I think of a proper answer. I like her, I can’t deny that. But if Marinette is ready to accept me this time… I’m not going to reject or ignore her and regret it forever. No more.

"Love and feelings don't work with percentages, hone- Ugh. Chloe. They're uncontrollable, beyond our understanding and wishes. But... if you insist on a number… a 2% maybe? I don't know. Almost 0% if Marinette's feelings are true and her heart song remains unchanged"

"That’s so low it’s ridiculous... Hmph! But it’s still not a 0, so I don’t have to give up yet. I'm not losing to Dupain-Cheng again. Not without putting on a fight, at least!"

I can't help it but giggle. She's adorable in her own way.

"Good luck, then."

To be honest, a part of me doesn't want to break up with Chloe. Even if her original reasons to approach me had evil intentions, I know she has changed now. But if Marinette's feelings are for real… if she really turned her heart towards me… that's all I've ever wished for. And I'm not going to run away from her.

Not again. Not anymore.

But first...

"Hon- I mean- Chloe. I want you to return me the ring I gave you”

"WHAT!? NO!! No way I'm giving it up! You're still my fiancée! At least until everything is over or until we get married. I really hope it’s this second option, let me tell you! I have no intention of canceling our Wedding!"

Stubborn as always, huh? I sigh again.

"OK. You can keep it for now. But you're returning it to me when everything is over”

Chloe seemed to be about to say something, but she stopped.

“Hmph”

Her face then buries on my shoulder and I hug her a little, patting her head. She’s mad and sad, of course. And her bawling starts, like a baby. I feel bad for breaking her heart like this and I’m sorry for her. I’m the worst... I wish she finds her happiness and someone who can fully love her as she deserves.

___________________________________________

My eyes open again at the sound of the PA message.

“Landing in 10 minutes”

Chloe has fallen asleep with me at some point. We exchange looks and a nod, preparing for the arrival to Paris. I look at Chloe. I know she’s afraid of landings, so I hold her hand, like always, and I notice her relax a bit, closer to me. Damn, she's cute when she’s scared.

And here we are: Paris.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been home. But I won’t be staying long. The Eiffel Tower looks as pretty as I remember it. Home... I wonder if I can go back when everything is over...

Adrien’s bodyguard (doesn't he have a name?) is waiting for us at the airport. He grabs Chloe's massive amount of luggage (when did she have the time to prepare it?) and guides us to Adrien's private plane.

The plane is definitely bigger. Just how rich is the Agreste family? Did Marinette really renounce owning part of this empire? I know she’s not interested in money or fame, but if she really gave it up for me, then I’m more than flattered. It still doesn’t sound real, though.

The Gorilla leads us inside and everyone is waiting for us there: Alya, Nino and Adrien. I can immediately notice the tension in the air when they see me. Wary of Adrien’s and my reaction. Nothing to be surprised about, I guess…  

And there's Adrien, handsome as ever, standing in the middle of the plane and looking at me with his intense emerald green eyes. Before I can move or speak he takes the first step and hugs me.

"Luka!"

"Hey. Nice to see you, Adrien" I hug him back as I hear his friend's relieved sighs. What did they expect?

Adrien looks like he really wants to have a word with me. Something serious. And I'm quite sure I know exactly what it is. But before he opens his mouth...

"Hey, Adrikins! I'm here too, you know? Where's my hug?"

Chloe. She really doesn't know how to read the mood. Geez... Well, go on, I signal to Adrien, who follows Chloe's petition.

"That’s better. Now bring me my favorite drink and let me sleep for a while. Make it double in alcohol. I’ll be at the back of the plane. Don’t disturb me!"

And there she goes, disappearing through the aisle. I can't help it but smile. That's so Chloe: looking for an excuse to cry alone at her heart content. I’ll check on her later, but she'll have to get used to it.

I exchange some greetings with Alya and Nino before Adrien calls me again.

"Luka, come here. We need to talk"

"Yeah, I figured. Can I do something first?"

The plane is getting ready for take-off, but I make sure to grab the speaker first.

"Hello everyone. Luka here. First of all, I want to thank you all for coming. Sorry it's been so rushed, but the cause demands immediate action. As you may know, Marinette is trying to use some of the Miraculous for her own benefit and we can't allow that. Adrien may know better than me, but the universe’s balance could break because of that and we can’t let it happen. Since there's a long way until Tibet, we'll hold a strategy reunion when we get closer. Miraculous team: let's save Marinette, let's save Ladybug! Now get some rest and we'll discuss the strategy details later. Thank you for your attention"

After some claps, I return to my seat next to Adrien. Take off takes place without incidents and we can reassume our conversation.

"Luka… I-... I want to apologize to you. I'm sorry... Back then... I hurt you, didn't I? I didn't know you had feelings for Marinette and yet… all the advice I asked you for… whenever you joined our dates… you never looked sad and… Why didn't you tell me? I would have been more careful and-"

Yeah… Giving Adrien advice definitely hurt me. Seeing how happy Marinette was after he followed my indications to surprise or make her happy made it even worse. But Marinette was happy and Adrien was happy too and I convinced myself that it was enough for me to be happy too (for a while, at least…).

"I just wished for your happiness, Adrien. My friend's happiness makes me happy too”

"But Marinette's not a friend to you. Why did you leave? She’s never been the same since you left… I couldn’t fill in for you in her heart…”

“One-sided love hurts, Adrien. It’s like a double-edged blade. You can be happy for the one you love but lonely for not having them by your side as you wish”

“That’s- I see… It makes sense…” he pauses and looks straight to my eyes. “Luka, do you still love Marinette? Will I be able to understand your feelings better if you two get together? I still love Marinette but I’ve only seen her unhappy since you left and I hate it. Can you make her happy again?”

His green eyes are honest as usual. I keep holding my gaze, never breaking eye contact as I answer his questions.

“Adrien… I’ll be honest with you: I love Marinette, I’ve always had. Since the first moment she appeared in front of me, even now. All I’ve ever wished was for her happiness. I confessed to her and she never gave me an answer. She was in love with you. And I was happy for her happiness with you. That’s why I left: I didn’t want my feelings to interfere with your relationship. I had no chances anyway… You know: destiny is supposed to be unavoidable. I could have never imagined you two not getting a fairy-tale-like happily ever after”

“But it happened. Destiny didn’t work this time... Why didn’t you say goodbye? It broke Marientte’s heart the way you left, I was hurt too. I thought we were friends”

“And we are friends, Adrien. Wouldn’t you have asked me to stay if I had told you? That’s why I never did. And then there’s…”

“There’s what?”

“I don’t know if Marinette has ever told you, but I kissed her. The day before leaving. I know I should have been more considerate about you but I was selfish. I needed to move on and… Oh, but she rejected me immediately. ‘I hate you’, she told me. How could I stay after that?”

"That's- I see. She never told me that… That explains… many things, actually… But that doesn’t change the fact you weren’t there for her when she needed you the most”

“I left my contact open for her, Adrien, but she never contacted me. Hell. I thought you were married until yesterday!”

“Wha- Why? Didn’t you see the news? It was everywhere! The press wouldn’t stop following us around for a while… The gorilla even went to trial for punching one ‘journalist’ while protecting me”

“Wow, that’s rough. I’m sorry this happened to you”

“Marinette’s case was even worse… They even managed to sneak into her office. No chill. I think that was the start of her depression… Wait! Yours and Chloé’s news was what made them stop, now that I think about it… Maybe that was the true reason they left us alone… and the true reason after Marinette’s depression...”

“I didn’t know… Chloé made sure to hide all those news from me”

“Why would she do that?”

“She did it for you. And for herself. But you should ask her directly. Phew, I was scared to ask but I’m glad you weren’t aware of her plans”

“What plans?”

“You should ask her about it. I don’t know much about them, to be honest, but she wanted to get Marinette back with you and keep me out of your way”

I shrug my shoulders and Adrien makes a surprised face that makes me smile.

“Chloe… never learns, doesn’t she?” he says, and I chuckle at his words.

“Isn’t that one of her charms?”

“Maybe?”

It’s nice we can laugh together after all what happened. I’m happy to have Adrien back as a friend.

“Hey, Luka. I want you to be honest with me. Do you love Chloe? What do you plan to do when this is over?”

I’m not surprised at Adrien’s question. But I’m not sure what answer he is expecting.

“What would you like me to say?”

“Tell me your true feelings. Both Marinette and Chloe deserve to be happy. But they both love you and you can only be with one of them. I’m going to encourage you whatever your decision is”

Adrien has really matured, hasn’t he? I’m glad we’re on good terms, sincerely speaking, no hard feelings. Just like old times. I guess I missed him too.

“The truth is… I don’t know. You all keep saying Marinette has feelings for me but it’s still hard for me to believe it. I don't think I can believe it until I hear it coming out her mouth. But… If she really does love me the same way I love her… Then I’m never leaving her side again”

“So Marinette will finally get her happiness… that’s good, I’m relieved. What will you do about Chloe?”

“We’ve already discussed it. Our engagement is practically broken and, as much as it pains me, our relationship can’t go on. I’m sorry. I know she’s your childhood friend”

“She must be very sad and angry now... I’ve never seen her so in love before. You really mean a lot to her”

“And I care for her, too. But Marinette…”

“Yes, I know. Marinette is amazing, isn’t she? How can she be so cute and strong at the same time? How can one not fall for her? I don’t think I need to tell you this, though”

“Certainly not”

Funny how we can laugh together about loving the same girl. I’m glad I got to talk to Adrien from man to man, from friend to friend. I hope we can keep in touch from now on. But I won’t stop him if he ever wants to stop contacting me. Because I did the same at some point and I would understand his reasons.

“What are you going to do, Adrien?”

“Me...? Do I have a choice? Marinette has stopped contacting me after we broke up. I doubt she wants to see me anymore. But I can’t ignore her when she’s asking for help. And I want to help you too. I’ll wish her happiness from the shadows, like I’ve been trying to do for a while”

“Adrien… Don’t take it in a bad way, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Look at me. I had to leave exactly for that same reason. I’m not saying this out of fear or jealousy, but as a friend: why don’t you try to move on? I’m sure you can find happiness. You’re young and handsome, and you have one of the purest hearts songs I’ve ever heard”

“How do you expect me to forget about Marinette, Luka? You should know that it’s impossible… It’s fine, I’ll live with it”

Well. I can't disagree with his words. He's totally right. But I still want to support him.

“Hey, you can count on me anytime, ok? I’m sure you’ll find the right person when you expect it the least, you’ll see”

“I don’t think so… but thanks for your words. I’m happy to have you as my friend”

“I’m glad too. Don’t worry, it will be fine. You deserve happiness, Adrien”

It’s only at this point when I notice the time.

“Oh, look at the time. Should we start our strategy meeting?”

“Sure, I’ll let Alya and Nino know. Can you get Chloe? I doubt she wants any of us to see her… you know…”

“Got it. Meeting in 10 minutes”

__________________________________________

As expected, Chloe is crying with her eye mask on at the back of the plane, lying down on her first-class like seat. The bottle of her wine is empty. Great...

“Hey honeybee- Chloe!” Damn habits! “It’s time for the strategy meeting. C’mon, show me your face”

Wow, her eyes are red and puffy as I remove her eye mask. Can she even stand up? She looks like she’s about to throw up. Great… I bring her a cold towel and a disposable bag and pat her back a little while I check her temperature. No fever at least. Good.

“C’mon Chloe, answer me”

“I’m not going… Let me sleep, snacky. Or kiss me and I’ll go. Yeah, kiss me…”

And there she goes, bawling again. That’s why I never let her drink… I guess she’ll have to miss the meeting.

“Have some sleep. I’ll explain you the plan when the discussion is over”

“No… Don’t go… Stay with me… Don’t leave me…”

Ah… honest Chloe is finally talking. I wish she didn’t need the alcohol for that. Crap, since when was her grip that strong? She’s not letting go of my jacket. I can’t help it but roll my eyes. I kiss her forehead to distract her and remove my jacket. Good thing I’m fast enough to avoid her catching my shirt next.

“Sleep well. See you later”

Ah… There she goes again- the crying. I wish the pain in my heart could finally end… I hate seeing her like that.

But what else can I do? If I have one last chance with Marinette, I’m definitely not going to waste it.

Wait for us, Marinette. We’re coming back to you.

_________________

The meeting goes on smoothly. We discuss the essential: how to reach the cave (Adrien has the Miraculous Compass that should lead us there), which Miraculous could be used and how to act in any case (keeping special attention to the absolute power of creation and destruction Miraculous used together and the rabbit Miraculous, which was most likely the one planned to be used), and finally, how to proceed if anything goes unplanned.

One more thing is decided: the team will be led by me. I’m not really comfortable giving commands, but I guess the cause requires some leadership, and with my experience with the snake Miraculous, Adrien, Nino, and Alya all agree I’m the best fit for that role. I have no choice but to accept. Failure is not an option.

There’s something more to take into consideration: Alya’s state. She has just had a baby and her body is not ready for harsh action, so I need to make sure she has a back-up role, nothing dangerous.

We come to an agreement that what we must try first is to stop Marinette from using the rabbit Miraculous. And, if we can’t stop her at step 1, stop her at step 2, before she can enter the time portal. It’s game over if she gets in.

No resets available- a one chance mission.

We can’t afford to lose.

And in case absolute power is called… We don't have much knowledge about it, but we’ll have to try to remove her Miraculous or make her pass out before she can ask for her wish. Nino, Adrien, and I should have enough strength to stop her and carry out the mission- if there are no surprises. And if it fails, Alya is carrying some chloroform to make her sleep in a few seconds - or at least that’s how it works in movies, according to Nino.

After setting the plan, I return to Chloe’s side and try to get some more sleep. I tell her about the plan, and she just nods “Why didn’t you give me a role?” she asks, but I have no answer to that. I guess I can’t trust her around Marinette… But I better not tell her that. I already feel bad. I really don't want to hurt her unnecessarily any further.

At this point, I’m not sure why I keep looking after Chloe this much. Is it because of love? Pity? Remorse? Worry? Habits? Ugh… Habits can really be bad, can’t they? Here am I, holding her hand at her sleep again. I really should stop this… but my eyelids are so heavy…

“Landing in 10 minutes”

I shake at the call and get Chloe on her seat, fasten our seatbelts, and get ready for imminent landing. Poor Chloe is not even awake, she’ll surely get surprised when we touch the floor.

“UaAh!!”

See? What a jump! I can’t stop laughing at her reaction. And now she’s angry and embarrassed. Cute.

“Stop laughing!”

Oh. She should know at this point this only makes me laugh louder. Chloé is funny. Not the same funny as Marinette, but still funny. Damn… I miss Marinette's laugh and funny actions… But maybe I shouldn’t think of her now that I have a deadly glare on me. I can feel a chill going down my spine. Chloe can be really scary when she’s angry...

______________________

And we finally arrive at the Temple of the Miraculous.

It's good Adrien's Compass is working well. And it's also a good thing Adrien can speak Chinese because we would be screwed otherwise. But Adrien's translation gives us some bad news.

“We can’t go to the cave…”

“What!? Why not, bro?”

“Only the Guardian can enter the cave… Unless the guardian is with us, we can’t go in. And they said Marinette is already inside… so the gate is closed again”

Silence surrounds us for a moment, until Alya breaks it to speak- shout.

“No! This can’t be!! What are we going to do now!? I’ve never heard of anything like this in my research! There has to be a way! We can't just stay here and do nothing!”

“I know Alya… But I have an idea… I don’t know if it will work but… It may take us at least one or two days too... but maybe…”

Adrien doesn’t look confident, but we don’t have any other ideas, so it’s worth giving it a try. I want to do anything to save Marinette. Hell. We must save her at any cost!

“It’s ok, Adrien! Tell us! We need to rescue Marinette!”

God, did I sound as desperate as I am? It’s difficult to keep my cool when it’s Marinette related stuff, even if I’m trying hard. Yep, Chloe’s glare confirms it… Desperate. Of course I am! What do you expect? Shit. Focus, Luka! I need to pay attention to what Adrien has to say.

“Listen. I know the previous guardian of the Miraculous, Master Fu. He’s the one that entrusted me and Marinette our Miraculous at first”

“Good, we have a guardian then. Where is this Fruit person?”

“Chloe, show some respect” I warn her. ”Tell us, Adrien”

“That’s the bad thing… He’s in London but… he lost his memories after passing the Miraculous box to Marinette. He doesn’t have his knowledge anymore…”

Everyone becomes quiet, pensative, and Alya is once again the one to break the silence.

“What are we going to do, then!?”

All looks focus back on Adrien and he starts talking again. Everyone is listening to him carefully.

“I have a plan. We’ll go get him anyway first. We’ll take him in front of the monks of the Temple, and explain the situation. Maybe… if anyone here recognizes him, an exception can be made for us. I would destroy that stupid door if I had my Cataclysm, but it seems Master Fu is our only chance. What do you say?”

“Well… it’s uncertain and risky, but we have no choice. We should leave as soon as we can. No time to waste”

“But we’ve just arrived! Don’t be ridiculous, baby”

“Nino, Alya and Chloe can stay here. Adrien and I will go get him” I tell them and they nod. Except Chloe… as expected.

“Oh no! No way! If you’re going I’m going too!”

“Chloe, don’t be childish. Stay and wait here. Try to find out as much as you can about the Temple, the cave and the miraculous meanwhile. Will be back soon”

“HEY!”

Chloe tries to follow us but is stopped by Nino, who wishes us a safe flight.

“Take care and good luck”

And there we go, Adrien and I rushing to the plane once again.

Next stop: London

______________________

It wasn’t easy to convince Master Fu to come with us when he can’t remember Adrien, but somehow we managed to after insisting for a whole two days. Well, Adrien did, as expected.

After using one of the Zodiac Miraculous, one of the monks recognized Master Fu, and lent him one of the Miraculous with memory-related powers.

And old Master Fu was back. Along with his knowledge.

The old man cried and apologized to the monks for his mistake when he was young, and then to Adrien, for leaving them alone against Hawk Moth. Adrien then explained the situation with Marinette to Master Fu but the shock of what was happening was too big for him and he passed out for some hours.

As soon as he recovered he rushed to the gate to open the door, but nothing: memories and knowledge weren't enough to open the gate. He needed to become the guardian again, so they started a ritual to give him the guardian status permanently. The ritual took a few days… and we finally made it. Just in time: day 6.

Finally! Waiting while unable to do anything was frustrating and stressful.

Will we make it on time?

We need to hurry.

And it looks like a joke how easily the Master could open the gate to enter the cave after having his previous status back. We had tried everything and nothing. And yet, with one sole finger, Master Fu could completely open it. The power of the Guardian is surely impressive.

I nod to the team and we hurry inside, each one of us carrying a torch. Nino is taking care of Alya, who at the same time is looking up for Master Fu. Adrien is slightly in front of me and Chloe is grabbing my jacket from behind, scared of the dark. We move deeper into the cold darkness that surrounds us, guided only by Adrien’s compass.

Here we go, Marinette. Please, wait a little longer.

Don’t leave us. Don’t leave me!

___________________________

Torches guide us through darkness and we finally arrive at the room the Miraculous rest in. My throat hurts like hell from the shouting, but I don’t care if I’m not able to sing ever again: Marinette is much more important than that to me.

And there she is, in her rabbit miraculous suit and in front of the time portal: Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

I can only see her from afar but she looks beautiful in that suit…  long ears on her head and a cute ponytail. Wow. But now is not the time to admire her beauty. We must stop her before she disappears forever!

I'm so relieved we made it on time before she acts. It was a good thing Adrien’s plan about Master Fu worked. We made it barely on time, but on time, nevertheless. But we need to hurry. And I run, closer to her, still shouting.

Meeting Marinette’s eyes sparks something in me that seemed forgotten for a long time.

I love her. I love her so much.

How can I be without her now that I've met her again?

I can't.

My feelings are as strong than ever. My heart-beat is beating fast and is at this point when I want to believe she feels the same way the most.

I need to know. I’m ready to give everything else up for her. Can’t you see it, Marinette? I’ve never stopped loving you!

I can see how she's trying to run away from us, moving inside the time portal.

Shit! I won’t make it on time. I need to try to stop her with my words.

“Marinette… Marinette, please, stop! Don’t go in there, I beg you! Don't you have something to tell me? Let me listen to it from yourself, with your voice! Let me see your face so I can dare to believe it! Don't make me go after you across that portal or wherever you’re going to”

She seemed to be about to listen to me but her face suddenly lost her light. What happened? How could I let her become so sad? Is it my fault? I don't want her to go.

So I ran towards her, the fastest I can.

"Goodbye…" she says in an almost inaudible voice.

“NO!! Marinette!!!!"

And she slips through my fingers- just like the time we've been apart: lost forever.

No! No! No! DAMN IT! Was I late again? This can’t be! Please… I was so close!!

And just like that, all hope disappears from my heart. Broken again. Even worse than she told me ‘I hate you’.

I still wanted to apologize to her… To tell her so many things… To ask if it’s true I can have a future with her… but the portal in front of me is blank and my tears won’t stop falling like waterfalls. Any question is pointless now… I wish I could have apologized in front of her…

"Marinette… Sorry for being absent for so long. I’m sorry I left... I’m sorry for being selfish…I’m back now. Please… Come back… Is it too late...? Please… Please!”

I can feel the rest of the team sobbing with me, as I beg to Marinette to come back. I appreciate Adrien’s hand on my shoulder, in support, but the pain I’m feeling now is unbearable.

I failed… it's over...

I take a final hopeless look at the portal, waiting for something magical to come and erase us. But I find something unexpected instead: HOPE.

Marinette’s long rabbit ears from her magical suit are slightly coming out of the portal, which means- she’s still here.

It’s not over yet! I’m not giving up. Hell no!

NEVER AGAIN.

But I need to be careful with my words…

“Marinette… I know you can still hear me from the inside… Please, come out. We're here for you. Please… Come back…"

I’m not sure what the best words to convince her would be (I've never been good with words), but I have to try with what I’ve got. She’s not answering, as expected. Is she considering getting out or she’s already moving towards a new timeline? Her ears are not visible anymore, so I can't know. But I’m not willing to wait to find out. Yes, I can be impatient too- why does everyone seem surprised?

“You don’t want to come out? Very well, I'm coming in, then! I’ll get you out of here even if you don’t want me to. Excuse my rudeness, but you leave me no choice”

And her hands appear in front of me to stop my actions, just as my hand is about to touch the portal.

I hold a gasp when master Fu explains what happens to those who enter the portal without a magical suit. 

I didn’t know that. 

Not that I care about disintegrating- Marinette’s more important than myself at this point, and I don’t mind disappearing if her existence banishes from this world as well.

How I'm supposed to be happy in a world without Marinette, anyway? It's impossible.

And my heart gets filled with something warm the moment I can finally touch her hands. My long fingers find their way to lock with hers and I’ve never been more relieved than the moment she falls into my arms, after I pull her out of the magical time hole.

I missed her so much… Can I keep holding her forever? Can I be selfish this time? I'm so glad she's safe…

I thought I could feel her corresponding my feelings: love, need, comfort, relief… but I must have misunderstood again, because the sweetest dream becomes a nightmare the moment she speaks again…

“Plagg, Tikki, unify”

The darkest nightmare.

[mhdiaries]

Frights, Camera, Action! – Hauntlywood Elissabat Diary

This 2nd Day of August

On the eve of my coronation, 400 years ago tonight, I slipped into the moonless Transylvanian darkness and disappeared forever. I remember it like it was yesterday; The Vampire’s Heart casting its red glow over my room as Lord Stoker explained that I was much too young to be the queen without his help and that if I simply did exactly as he instructed, my unlife would be perfect for us all. I had not been acting all that long by then, but I knew enough to recognize a bad director when I heard one, and I was fangsolutely positive I did not want a starring role in this production. Fortunately for me, I had made friends with a young explorer and mad scientist named Hexiciah Steam. Hexiciah and Lord Stoker did not exactly see eye  to eye on, well, anything, and so, partially to help me and partially to tweak LS, Hexiciah helped me escape to a waiting ship that would take me to Londoom. I asked him about the Vampire’s Heart, but he told me not to worry about it and that it was safe from the reach of LS. Thus I became known as Elissabat the First, not because I was the first queen to have that name, but because I was the first to choose self-imposed exile over the throne. I often wonder what kind of queen I would make today, 400 years older and hopefully wiser. I’m certainly wise enough to keep two diaries now, especially since several pages of Veronica Von Vamp’s private musings somehow ended up on a celebrity gossip site. Good thing Veronica never breaks character even when she’s writing.

7 August

My agent sent over a script today for me to read. It’s about a young ghoul who is chosen to be the queen of an ancient kingdom, not because she is the true heir but because the Lord Chancellor wants to control the kingdom through her. Except the ghoul finds out and takes off before she takes the throne, only to be chased all over the world by the Lord Chancellor’s hench-monsters. Besides being completely implausible it involves multiple locations, chase scenes, stunts and a very large cast of characters. It sounds exhausting. I would love to do a small picture next. Something shot on location in Scaris at a small outdoor café where there are long pauses in between conversations and shots of me staring off into the distance as I ponder the deep secrets of unlife. I can just see my agent’s face now. His left eye will start to twitch, and he won’t be able to control it so he’ll put his shades on and then he’ll break into a sneezing fit and have to excuse himself while he leaves my trailer to try and regain his composure. He’s actually a very good agent who really does have my beast interests at heart, but he is such an excitable little goblin that I can’t help but tweak him just a little bit. I do sometimes tire of playing larger-than-unlife roles, even though my fans really do seem to love the films. I would just like to stretch myself as a performer, and I’ve done so many of these... oh well. I love to act, the fans love to watch, and we’re all happy in the end - except the critics, but they’re never happy, so I don’t waste too much time thinking about them. V3

This 10th Day of August

Each day now I hear about growing unrest in the kingdom and how the vampire lords are mounting pressure upon Lord Stoker to find a queen. Personally, I think they are overreacting, since 400 years is just a drop in the coffin for a vampire, but they are a rather stodgy bunch. Order, tradition and discipline are the code they... we... live by. I have applied those virtues in the way I have chosen to pursue my career, and they are the secret to my success. I have been accused of having a photographic memory, but that is not accurate. I simply work as hard as I can to be as prepared as I can so I do not make careless mistakes. My stage fright has never gone away, and I doubt it ever will, therefore intense preparation is the only way I can stand in front of a crowd and do my job or jobs. I think my intensity intimidates other monsters, and I know I am perceived as not being “approachable”, but it takes a lot of concentration to be Elissabat playing Veronica Von Vamp playing a completely different character on stage or in film. It is why I need to not be in “character”, and for that to happen I need to be myself. I should be getting ready to be Veronica again, since a car is about to arrive not to pick up not a queen of the vampires, but a queen of the silver scream. Some days I do wish that I only had one role to play, but which one do I choose?

16 September

I’m making the press circuit to promote my new film today, so I’m bringing Viperine along to do my makeup. Viperine has been doing my makeup for a while now, and I simply adore her. She is chatty but not intrusive, and I completely trust the job she does, which is good since there’s really no way for me to check the work. She started doing my makeup quite by accident, when my regular artist got cast in some unscripted reality show... shudder... and left without any notice. Viperine was just an intern at the time and was cutting her fangs by doing makeup on creatured extras, but when I stepped out of my trailer and called her over, she didn’t even hesitate. She’s also that rare monster that is completely content not being in the spotlight. I asked her if she would like to be in front on the camera one day, and she told me that she felt like she was in front of the camera every time I stepped on stage. She has a fright future in this boosness, I think. 

This 20th Day of September

By the pricking of my thumbs something fishy this way comes. It is all over the news that a new vampire queen has been found and confirmed by Lord Stoker who said that he used the Vampire’s Heart to verify that this ghoul is the true heir. Well this is certainly curious, since I know for a fact that the VH is as lost as Hexiciah Steam. Well, perhaps “lost” is not the proper description. Maybe “unavailable for questioning” would be more to the point. I know this because if Lord Stoker had the real VH he would have used it to track me down soon after I ran away, and I would have spent the last 400 years issuing rulings on property disputes, meeting with Yeti ambassadors and doing Lord Stoker’s bidding. I do wish this “new queen”, whomever she is, the best of luck, especially with old LS lurking around. He knows everything there is to know about how the queendom runs, but he couldn’t lead a one-zombie parade. I feel sorry for him, because he could be a real asset to the throne if he didn’t want to sit on it himself.  

1 October

I’ve been nominated for another award, which will make the fans happy and the critics not. I think this may be my best performance yet, but it is a rather popular film, and monsters have been creeping to it in packs. Personally, I believe there is a direct correlation between how well critics like a film and how many monsters have actually seen it. The more obscure the film and fewer monsters that have seen it, the more worthy critics seem to heap praise upon it. I suppose it makes them feel superior, especially when they dig up that old line about it being “the most important film of the year.” ‘Tis tiresome, mostly because they hold up a film that very few have seen as the gold standard by which all others must be judged and then sneer at any comparisons to it, which is convenient. I’m not saying that every film I have ever acted in has been perfect; in fact, some of the acting choices I made as a young ghoul I wish I could go back and remake, but regardless of the role or film I always strive to give a performance worthy of the ticket price. 

This 6th Day of October

So the new queen they have chosen is Draculaura! I had purposely been avoiding the news because I have been feeling guilty about the situation, so I did not know that she was the one. We used to play together when we were young ghouls back in Transylvania, and I still recall monsters mistaking us for sisters. This is not fair. I like my unlife and I do not want to give it up, but can I really allow another monster, especially one whom I consider a friend, to take over duties, obligations and responsibilities that were meant for me? I ran once. I am not sure that I can do that again. 

[amazingdriverfics]

Hi I hope you’re doing well, can I request an angst fic where it’s readers first time with Adam Sackler and he moans Hanna’s name, oop sad ending pls

A/N: hey honey, I hope you are doing fine. I’m sorry it took me this long to write this, I was trying to keep up with my writing schedule when life got in the way.

Despite that, I truly hope that you enjoy this!

Warnings: smut, angst with no happy ending.

You met Adam at work, you were the stylist for a play in which he was acting on and, at first, the relationship between you two was strictly professional. You would only see while fitting tests and whenever he needed help with his costume.

And of course you thought that he was gorgeous, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t think so, but he had never caught your attention sexually because you believed he was too much for you, too far from your league. And so you were content with watching from far.

Things started to change when he noticed you for real. Adam started to look for you for minimal things that clearly didn’t really need your attention and flirt shamelessly with you as you performed the job he asked you to do.

As he flirted, you mostly stayed silent blushing and smiling, your brain lighting up with fireworks as you did your best not to lose focus on what he asked you to do, but it got harder every time.

As the man got bolder, he would literally take his clothes off telling you that they needed repair as he stood in full glory with just underwear, watching you with his sinful eyes.

One day, while you were sewing one of his costumes, you felt his warm hand embracing your chin as he got closer, his hot breath hitting your face.

Slowly, you turned your face to him which immediately caused your lips to touch each his, very lightly, but it was still enough to set a wildfire in your interior. .

It didn’t take him long to make the kiss deeper, attaching his lips to yours and exploring your mouth with his tongue, gently dominating you and your every sensation as you felt his hands pressing to your waist, helping you to create enough courage to touch him, making sure that it wasn’t a dream.

As your hand touched his soft dark hair which barely covered his ears, you gasped, the realization that it was actually happening, hitting you finally. Your reaction caused him to smirk into you and you melted into his kiss.

——————————————————————————

After a couple of weeks of stolen kisses here and there, Adam finally asked you out on a proper date in an italiana cantina that he swore to be the best in New York city.

With the passage of time, the more you got to know each other and you got to see that he was more than muscles and naughty humor, the man was kind of weird, but he was also genuine and a good listener who had lived through a lot of bad things.

However, you were still insecure to date him. A part of the reason why was because you never really felt like you were enough, the other one was Adam’s ex Hannah. You had never met her or heard of the woman despite what he had said, but he talked too much about her and as he did, you could see that he wasn’t entirely over their relationship and his feelings for her. After all, it was all too intense.

The problem was that even though your brain knew that you might have been walking into the perfect trap which would result in a broken heart, your stupid heart kept falling for him and your needy body kept on desiring the man to touch you.

And so you decided that you would wait until you were sure to give yourself to him, you would fight your physical needs and listen to the voice of reason once in your life.

——————————————————————————

You were at his place, lying against his chest while you and him read silently, just enjoying each other’s company when you realized you were ready. The domestic vibe the moment gave you and the comfort Adam had been giving you everyday made it clear to you that you could trust him.

So gathering your courage, you opened your mouth and released the words before they got stuck forever. “I’m ready, Adam”

“What, kid?” he asked, taking his head off of his book and looking directly into your eyes.

“I said that I’m ready” you repeated smiling from how cute he was.

“For wha-. Oh” his eyes got darker as a sexy smirk cracked on his perfect face. “Are you sure?” he asked, always concerned with you.

You nodded as a reply, anticipation already clouding your head as lust started to pump into your veins.

Placing his book and yours in the nightstand, Adam switched positions, holding his body on top of yours with his hands as he lowered his head, connecting your lips together.

As you enjoyed his kisses, you got bolder, letting your hands travel through his body, feeling his muscles on his back and defined chest, gently caressing his nipples with your fingers and even playfully squeezing his ass.

“Who would have thought you would be such a slut” he said, taking his lips off of yours and letting them explore your neck, switching the support from his hands to his knees since he started to ease off your clothes.

As he marked your neck purple, Adam took your old sleeping shorts off, letting them fall on the ground before taking his hands higher up, to the bottom of your gigantic nirvana shirt you also slept on.

While he took off your shirt and appreciated your body, you felt your insecurities melt away, the way his eyes lingered upon your skin showing all the hunger, passion and devotion the man had for you and making you feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet.

“Such a pretty whore, I bet you are just as pretty down here” the naughty words echoed in your ears, going straight to your already drenched cunt as you watched his hands closing around your panties, ready to take them off as well.

In no time, you were naked, the cold air meeting the wetness on your pussy and sending shivers down your spine as your inner walls clenched around nothing, already begging for him to fill them up and fuck them just like wanted.

“Just like I imagined, the perfect pussy” Adam talked mostly to himself as you felt the tip of his finger tracing your folds, collecting your arousal in it.

You kept your eyes on his hungry ones as he started to play with your cunt, giving it the attention it had been begging for only to be denied by yourself. He started with your clit, lazily rubbing it, making you moan instantly.

“Needy, are we?” he mocked you, not stopping his lazy pace, giving you just the tiniest bit of release, teasing you, making you wish and beg for more.

“Adam, please go faster” you asked and with a low groan he gave you what you wanted.

His finger gained speed as his other hand went up, playing with your nipples, massaging them as well as your tits, before pulling them lightly, the pain mixing with the pleasure he made you feel and driving you mad.

It didn’t take you too long to cum, legs shaking, eyes closing as his name left your mouth again and again.

When you finally came back from it, you found him naked, his huge veiny dick with a red tip already dripping with precum on his hand as he pleased himself.

Your instant reaction was to gasp, the size of him making you scared, but mostly aroused, ready to be completely filled up with it.

“I’m going to ruin your perfect pussy, slut” he said getting closer.

Wrapping your legs against his waist and supporting his weight with one hand, Sackler took the tip of his dick to your sensitive cunt, guiding it up and down, purposely touching your clit every now and then.

As he provoked you and your body, you held his arm and back, eyes glued to his as if you would die if you turned your head the other way.

When he thought it was lubricated enough, he guided it to your whole, slowly easing it into you.

At first, you felt pain, not accustomed to being filled with such a huge cock, but as you felt his finger on your clit, the pain quickly turned into pleasure.

You had never been so full in your life, it seemed like he was occupying all the space inside of you, touching every part of your walls and your cervix without even moving and you thought to yourself that it was definitely something you would never get accustomed too.

He started moving slowly, giving you time to take him comfortably, the sound of his groans and your soft moans filling up the room sounding like the most beautiful poem ever written.

“Your so fucking tight” he said, breathless as his rythym started to increase. His finger never leaving your clit, as the sound of skin against skin got louder just like the sounds coming from both of your mouths.

Adam had a precise and steady rhythm which gave you constant pleasure, the fire in your body growing with every second.

“Shitshit, Hannah” you heard him say and it instantly caused the pleasure to stop.

You could tell that he hadn’t noticed what he said by the look on his face, but you just couldn’t go on. A line had been crossed.

“Stop” you said and he did what you asked, hips stopping with his cock still inside of you. “What did you just say?”.

You were able to see as realization hit him, the confusion once in his features disappearing, being replaced with regret.

He took himself off of you and stared at your face, for the first time since you met him, staying silent.

Without another word you got out of the bed, gathering your clothes on the floor, humiliation filling up the space once occupied by lust as tears stained your face. You were right when you thought you had fallen into a trap.

“y/n, please don’t go, let’s talk about this” he pleaded, hand closing around your wrist.

But it was too late, you would never feel secure with him again, the fear of losing him to his ex would always be on your mind, taking the good times away and replacing them with doubt. So you shook your head and got your wrist free of his hold, quickly putting on your clothes and leaving his room and apartment behind.

[anyu-blue]

~

Hey I'm rambling about stuff in my own head again. Trigger warnings apply- specifically those dealing with therapy, dysphoria, self harm, relationships, and stuff like that. :T

I don't really understand it... For quite a while there I was fine. Content even to just let things slide. I think it was because I felt secure where I was (with Lon) and blocked out a lot that doing therapy has brought screaming to the front of my mind... But I could be wrong and I feel confused and conflicted again.

At one point (before Lon) I had settled down when my previous therapist basically gave me permission to call myself androgynous. She told me it was okay- if that's what I felt, then I could use it.... I felt very relieved and much less ruffled. There was still a nag in the back of my head, but it was quiet enough I buried it... For the most part...

Getting with Lon brought quite a few forward and I insisted he understand I am/was not a girl. He also seemed content and sweet and more than accepting... Until he wasn't.. looking back.. Lon said a LOT of weird or off things he either never came through with or downright switched on.. especially near the end. EVERYONE in his family and friend group assumed and pushed the 'girl' thing... And that nag got a little louder..I pushed back (gently) reminding Lon with little things here and there that I wasn't... But still 'she' and overwhelming compliments on my feminity buried me under them. In the end... I know it was driving me crazy (literally) and probably Contributed more to the mess than I understood at the time.

But it also wasn't a push even.. just the assumption.. I believe that because right now my hackles are raised so high every time someone says 'she' to or about me I BRISTLE. I want to yell or (depending on who it is) quietly tell whomever is doing it to stop.. tell them they're wrong... Most aren't doing it maliciously, I know.. it's just what they see. I feel pressured or pushed. It's really weird and extremely uncomfortable. It's confusing too because.. I don't know... I can't see how they don't see me as different than 'girl'... Or heaven forbid 'WOMAN.'

*shudders*

My therapist and I are exploring the feelings around when these things are said to me... And she's proposed doing something about my anger and frustration like squeezing Something or something or just outright accepting it... Basically ANYTHING other than telling people my business... But the problem is, I've told her... I want to BREAK things.. I mean I don't... But I feel the urge to. To hit. To yell. To scream. To cry. To crush. To run. But I don't. In some ways I can't.... Squeezing Something when I'm angry hurts me. My grip is incredibly weak (always has been no matter what I've tried) and everything pops painfully. Or it pinches my skin and hurts... So I've developed a reflex to do the opposite of squeeze or hit things (which certainly hasn't helped the weakness issue lol)... And even if I do try to do those things.... It's never enough. I can't go and go and go like I want to. It just makes me madder. More frustrated. It's never satisfying or as releasing as People tell me it should feel. I just want more. And more and more and more. And in the end I'm usually left a sobbing mess that's completely spent, but still so mad and frustrated... Feeling those feelings even more. Sure I'm tired enough to pass out.. but I wake up.. and everything is still there.. usually coupled with depression because it's STILL THERE... And I couldn't get it out. I don't feel better or lighter or more free.. I feel heavier.. sadder... Worse. I used all that energy and nothing came of it.

And I don't understand!! I really don't. Why I'm never satisfied... Why I've always always been so angry... I was told I was an extremely cruel child.. I remember a little too.. I always wanted to act, but was pushed down.. and even when I did, it never felt good or like it was enough.. I swear I could tear an entire house down by myself with nothing but my own two hands and I STILL would want to do more.

...

And I'm feeling all of these things with gender...

Tevs said to me she thinks I 'want to be a boy because our mother always wanted a boy and [I] always wanted her approval.' ... I can't deny that MAYBE it had an influence on me. MAYBE...

But... I don't WANT that witch's approval anymore. I don't care about her distain either. I don't want her ANYWHERE NEAR my life, it's MINE not hers.. and I'm really pissed off no one can seem to take the damn hint I am 110% DONE with her and anything to do with her. She HAS a son to raise now. And a loving husband who had her adopt him. And good friends and whatever else she has in her life. I am OUT of it. And I want to be out of it forever.

.. it feels demeaning when Tevs says that it's all from that to me.. she's done it more than once, and of course I'm upset by it every time.

... I just want to be me... And every time someone looks at me and tells me I am beautiful.. or pretty.. or a wonderful woman... I just want to cry... To go hide.. I feel so ashamed.

...

Here's the thing.. I AM attractive. I AM beautiful, hot, resilient, kind... Just about everything you'd associate a woman with... I was walking to another area in my workplace just tonight and caught a glimpse of myself as I did so in our big windows... The way I walk. My silhouette. Everything about me... Is envious.

I'm not saying these things because I'm vain.. I'm saying them because if I compare my body and gait and everything to the People alongside me- even the guests I see coming in- I can see it as clearly as everyone else who tells me I'm this pretty thing does... I'm not sickeningly skinny and I'm not fat. I'm not super tall nor short. I'm right in the middle with an ass and legs People tell me they'd kill to have... If I were to wear proper bras, I have a chest they'd love too- not too heavy and not unnoticeably small... But I wear ones that squish my chest so it looks like I have less (and that might be why I have such glaring problems with my ribcage sliding out of place all the time. I'm crushing everything XP).. take a guess as to why I started doing that...

I can't hide my hips... Nor my legs... I've got cute feet too. And hands... So dainty and fine- just enough bone and plump in the right places... It's no wonder I am the envy of my poor (adopted) cousin desperate to be a model and a star.. poor girl. She's beautiful in her own right, but her genes have made it so hard for her to fully dive into her confidence... My dad told me we are rivals and have always been... And my heart breaks for her because I'm not even trying... I want her to succeed!! To be the one in the spotlight!! I want to stay in the background so she can shine... But I always get pulled forward and somehow she's in my shadow (despite being taller than me).. and she can't stand to be near me.. even when I am trying my hardest to let her lead or to say things kindly or in her favor.. I can't seem to win... So I don't really have a relationship with her at all.. Though I really wanted to.

When I don't hide.. when I do 'dress up'... There's so many compliments. If I run into ANYONE from school when I do... *Gags* the compliments, disbelief, and shock... I remember EVERY prom... People not knowing who I was... Or being shocked if they did recognize me straight out. All 4 years... And it made the ostracization worse. My class was AFRAID of me. I was this shy/frumpy (also angry) little thing.. but I still remember being stared at changing after gym whenever there wasn't a stall for me to hide in.. I personally at the time thought it was because I was so ugly/fat they couldn't help themselves... Going through everything in therapy.. I realize it was because I was so skinny under all my baggy clothes.. and really pretty under the acne/hood/ugly glasses. I wasn't bullied just because I was smart/loved to learn... I was a threat and didn't even know it. The envy of my peers. And it's so sad.

I did wish to be like them.. so confident. So able to fake it. To do my makeup and wear cute things and to feel right somehow... But I never did. I tried.. but couldn't stand the clothes.. or the comments about my ass... Or all the things they focused on whenever I came close to succeeding. I couldn't seem to get it right. I just wanted to hide whenever I stood out... It never felt right.

It got to the point I was AFRAID to wear dresses and skirts. Terrified. Everything felt wrong with the world when I did. I felt like I was faking Something. Like I was purposefully being awful... Lying..

I wear some now because I was cheered up by the idea of genderqueer people and some men finding comfort in wearing them and in some ways them becoming more acceptable by all genders... Plus they're reeeally comfy sometimes. And it's nice to just be able to throw on a dress with built in pads during the summer heat wave than to worry about all those damn layers XP ... And I recognize that no one is going to question me or think I'm lying when I wear any... They don't see what I have in my head.

I do recognize that some of this stuff has trauma tied to it... And I'm confused because I don't know where the trauma ends and I (my own genuine thoughts) begin... I was not treated kindly at home- even outright being called ugly in a derogatory manner.. granted I now know those comments mostly came from a pedophile disinterested in me and the pedophile's own manipulation of my mother and her family's opinions (gaslighting and twisting to where I really was the horrible child in all ways) AND I know that I am not neurotypical which caused some other unfortunate treatments in and around my home.

I don't know where to go with it... Or why I'm so viscously against being called a girl or a woman. Why it's setting me off so bad right now. I just know that it is... And for some reason every time I'm alone or not really thinking of it... I don't think of myself as one. Not at all. And when I'm reminded.. I'm often startled by it and confused and need to process the information for a second... Despite 'being' one for all of my life... I've continually had the problem I don't expect what I see in the mirror either.. especially since puberty.

If I could show you what I think/feel most of the time... I think this would be the closest I could get- just make the chest straighter/flatter... It bugged me to no end to add that detail in and still does to this day, but I was going off the model (me lol). I don't feel like Anything... But I want to be something.. and that Something is... Not this. Not this...

But where do I go? What do I do?

I'm terrified of surgeries... I don't want massive scars (not that I mind scars- in fact I LOVE them. They're so cool!! But I don't want people to KNOW you know? Not that. Not Something that is such a private matter... I don't want to believe or go after something for it to be wrong too... And I don't feel I can afford any of it anyway 😞 even if I did want to try or actually found the right one... I would be so depressed to never be able to reach my goal.. and I feel I've held myself back due to that fear too...

I know another reason I haven't tried anything or spoken up or anything is because I have this strange desire to pass on my genetic legacy. It is such a powerful urge I am TERRIFIED of losing the ability... People tell me about adoption all the time as a great option, and it IS a great option for the children... Because I would do ANYTHING for my own... But it's this terrible terrible feeling I wouldn't feel I could claim them as my own and it would leave something still empty inside of me and I wouldn't be as loving because of it and that kills me... It sounds terrible too!!

I would do almost anything to have my own child... When it comes to pain tolerance or body changes I know I would have the hardest time than most if I were to get knocked up.. but I have that thought that it would be worth it because they are MINE.

I've thought about egg donation.. because I feel it would make me feel better to know I succeeded in passing on the line to someone better off and worthy of having children... But I feel I have too many genetic issues or would be an undesirable candidate or I'd feel terrible if the child died and then I didn't succeed...

Lol I think of things oddly... And that makes me think I don't deserve to have children or donate too... Never mind the actual process XP boy... Complicated~

So I've never tried... I am also quite poor and know I would struggle to raise a child. Even just one. And if I were to have twins (as I'm the generation that is supposed to)... I have even more worries... And I don't want a child or children to grow up with the struggles I had or worse than I had like they likely would if I just went for it.

...

I knew I felt more sure when I was with Lon because he apparently wanted/wants kids too... And it was in the plan (Maybe. Maybe not. It's possible he was the one messing with my medication alarms and trying, but also possible he just wanted sex... Because he told me before he left that he thought he was infertile for a long time (and there's some pretty strong evidence to suggest he's got weak swimmers lol but I'm not going to divulge what that stuff is) so it may have been a lie all along... But I didn't know and felt assured and safe with that path at the time)...

*sigh*

Idk what to do... I know I'm messed up about it all.. and I know my knee jerks and feelings... But I don't exactly trust myself or my memory or my reasons... I am only human... And I feel so lost.

I know what I envy... Very much.. and what I would choose if I could... But... Life just doesn't work that way... And science is so stunted it likely won't in my lifetime.

*snort*

I feel the worst thing that my dad ever said to me was when I told him and his wife that I wasn't a girl... I don't remember if I told them I was neither or would prefer to be a guy... But I do remember my dad's response... He told me 'go ahead and you do you, but I want you to know that no matter what, you're always going to be my little girl. I just can't think of you any other way, because you are. You're my little girl.'

And I just... It struck me so badly (obviously, I still think about it)... And made my heart so heavy. I... Understand... To the extent I can... And I don't want to... Lose him because I can't accept that... But.. I feel like it's only pushed me to lose myself... To.. just stay. Take the 'easy' route. To 'accept' it (except we can see how well THAT'S going).

*sigh*

I don't know...

The only thing I do know right now is I have this fantasy about... Going away for a while. More or less disappearing for 5 to 10 years... And coming back... How I want to be/see myself... And seeing what everyone would think...

Tevs thinks I only want it because of trauma. Dad thinks I'm always going to be his daughter. Everyone else is so sure I am a woman...

And maybe they're right... (I mean TECHNICALLY lol I can't exactly argue with that 😂)... And I would be trying to let my 'good looks' and all that 'go to waste'...

...

If I could trade someone... 100%... I would. I'm a pretty/beautiful/attractive looking body... (My face is debatable lol but whatever)... I wonder how come am I not happy about it...

[wayward-mikaelson]

Don’t Wake Me pt. 4 (Sams POV)

Word Count: 1667

Pairing: None

Characters: Sam, Dean, Rowena, Ghost!Reader

About: Sam learns that Rowena gave Dean the special tea to help him sleep and starts to see him slip deeper into his depressive state. Sam also makes contact with Ghost!Reader who can’t break through the veil all the way.

Warnings: Language, Angst

Trigger Warnings: Depression

*18+ Content. Anyone younger than 18 will need to scroll along. I don’t want to risk my account getting thanosed.

**Please DO NOT copy and paste my work anywhere WITHOUT my permission and WITHOUT giving me the proper credit. I work super hard on my stories and would hate for them to be stolen.

***This work is posted on Instagram, WattPad, and AO3

****Follow my other accounts Instagram, WattPad, Twitter, and AO3

*****DMs are CLOSED for REQUESTS. I need to finish this story and Centuries until I can take on any requests. 

Forever Tags: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @hobby27​ @elansaidaris​ @440mxs-wife​ 

Dean/Jensen Tags: @akshi8278​ @sandlee44​ @squirrelnotsam​

Story Tags: @vicmc624​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @zug-zwangg​

Part Three

Story Masterlist

Shy’s Masterlist

Shy’s Favorite Fic List

"Hey, Dean, I'm back," I open the bunker door and make my way down the stairs. "Dean?" I set the bags down and look around. Where the hell was he? I check the kitchen because that's where Dean would normally be. But he isn't there. I check the little man cave he made and again, he isn't there. I check the bunker garage to see if maybe he went out and used a different car.

Nope.

Finally, I go to his room and see him laying down, sleeping. I'm about to leave when I see the cup on the ground next to his bed. I pick up the cup and sniff it. "Shit," I roll back and sit down on the floor and stare at my brother.

The lights flicker some and stop.

I get up and pull out my phone and dial Rowena's number.

"Hello, dear," her sing song voice rings in my ear.

"You gave Dean the recipe to make the damn tea," I make my way to the kitchen and place the the cup into the sink. "Why the hell would you do that?"

Rowena sighs into the phone. "To help him dear, he's been through so much. I figured it would help the poor lad."

I rub my face with my free hand. "Well he's back under again. What should I look out for?"

"Again? So soon?" Rowena's voice is surprised. "When I gave him the recipe and spell, I warned him that too much will start to kill him. I figured he told you."

"Well he didn't, Rowena," My hand slams onto the counter and I notice the lights flicker again. "You should have told me before you left."

"I'm sorry, Samuel," Rowena sounds like she regrets.

"It's okay, I'll keep you updated on him." I hang up the phone.

I walk around the bunker seeing more lights just flicker. Something didn't sit well in the pit of my stomach. Only one ghost haunted this bunker and he is long gone. "These lights just don't flicker on their own," I say out loud walking in YNs room. Nothing. Maybe I'm seeing things. As I'm walking out I notice the paper that had some of Rowena's handwriting on it.

Picking it up I say, "Does Dean know?" The light by YNs bed flickers on. "I'll that as a no." A cool breeze brushes passed me and the flickering lights lead me down the hall.

To room 7B.

I open the door and the cool breeze pushes by me. "What's in here?" The lights flicker like crazy. "Okay okay, hold your horses," Then it hits me. I go to the shelf and start pulling boxes down and searching for that Ouija board I bought all those years ago.

Dean gave me shit for keeping it but, you never know when you need to use one.

Like now.

I make my way back to YNs room. I set up the board in the middle of the room and sit with my hands on the little board piece. "Okay," I say taking a deep breath. "YN?" I say her name slowly.

The little piece on the board starts to move without m touching it.

Yes

"Okay," I shake my arms and gingerly place my finger tips on the board piece. "Is it really you?"

The piece moves around on the board quicker than normal. Lucky for YN, I'm fast.

No, dumb ass. It's Santa Claus.

I look up expecting to see some spirit smirking at me. Nothing. "Just had to check." I say rubbing my face. "How are you here?" Even though YN isn't visible I can see her judgey little eyes one me. "You know what never mind, I asked. Um," I rack my brain for the right question. "Are you able to show yourself?" I grab a pen and paper off YNs dresser.

I watch as the piece moves around for a minute. Writing the letter down as it goes. I look down at the paper.

I tried earlier. It's too much for me. I've been trying to get your attention for weeks but nothing happens. Today I have been able to touch things and move them and make the lights flicker. What the fuck is wrong with Dean? Why did you leave him alone? Why did you let that ginger bitch help? Okay I gotta stop. I'm getting too tired.

I set the paper down. "I know. I shouldn't have left him alone. I'm sorry. But he slept real sleep. He didn't wake up crying or screaming. I'm sure you know all this. But Rowena was my last hope."

The lights in the room flicker off and on. YNs mad. I can tell. Not at Dean or me but Rowena. Rowena tried to kill YN a few years ago and YN has been wanting her head on a spike since then.

"Hey, calm down," I raise my hands up. "We can't have you just blowing things up." The lights stop flickering. "Thank you. And yes, Rowena should not have given Dean that tea recipe and spell. I've already talked to her about it."

The piece on the board moves again and I grab the pen and paper.

You should have burned this entire room when Dean was passed out. It would have taken care of the problem. He could have probably moved on without me just hanging around.

"I know, I should have," I whisper. "But I was just respecting his wishes. What are you tied to? Maybe that will help. I'm sure Dean has been able to sense you."

The piece moves slowly.

Locket.

"Where?" I ask but the piece doesn't move. The lights don't even flicker. She must be tired from trying hard to get our attention. "Alright, I can work with that." I shove the paper into my pocket and pack up the board.

I walk out of the room and bump into Dean. "What were you doing in there?" Dean voice is groggy. Then he eyes the ouija board in my hand. "You get anything from that?"

I look down at the board in my hand. I have a split second decision to tell him the truth or lie to him. "No," I find myself saying. "I thought I would try. You know. But I got nothing."

Dean nods his head and runs his hand through his hair. "Figures, She probably walked with arm and arm with her reaper. I mean why would she stay? Why would she run from her reaper when she could be at peace."

"I don't know, Dean," I say softly. "If she were hear it would probably be to see if you move on. She's stubborn like that. Remember?"

Dean smiles small. "That she was. It made sex with her awesome."

"Ugh, Dean," I start to walk away then turn around. Dean is staring at her room. "Rowena told me that she gave your the recipe and spell for the tea. Just be careful with it. She says if you drink too much of it, it will start to kill you."

Dean looks at me.

He doesn't acknowledge me.

He just stares at me with his green eyes that are full of sadness.

***

The next day, I wake up for my morning run. I'm walking down the hall when I hear movement going on in the kitchen. I creep up to the entryway and peek around. I Dean throwing things into a cup. Then I smell the tea he made.

"What do you think you're doing?" I round the corner. "This is three doses in under twenty-four hours. And how did  you get the recipe? I took it out of your room."

"Well you shouldn't have," Dean says as he in a firm voice. "and hiding it in a book? Really Sam? That trick is old."

I watch as my big brother opens the cut on his hand and squeezes a few drops into the tea. He takes the cup to the table and pulls out the spell and starts to speak. The lights start to flicker like crazy. I'm guessing YN is in here with us and can't get through.

"Dean, you need to stop," I raise my voice. "YN wouldn't want this. In fact, if YN were here, she'd probably kill you, bring you back, and kill you again."

Dean stops mid latin. "It's the only way I can sleep and dream of her without seeing her bloody body hanging over that chair, Sam." He looks at me and I see a small tear form in the corner of his eye. "I just want to see her and this is the only way I can, without my chest feeling like god fucking damn black hole."

The flickering stops. Dean notices, "We gotta check those lights out," He says as he takes a drink of the tea. Soon his face hits the table top. I decide to leave him there.

The moment I turn around, I stop dead in my tracks. There standing there looking like she's in pain is YN. Her skin is pale and there are dark circles under her eyes. It makes her look like she hasn't seen the sun in ages and that she doesn't sleep at all.

"YN?"

Her glossed over Y/E/C make contact with me and then she disappears just as fast.

I knew what I needed to do.

I pull out my phone and dial Rowena again.

"Yes, Samuel," she picks up on the first ring.

"I need you back here," I walk out of the kitchen.

"Is everything okay with Dean?" her voice perks up. Rowena has always had a soft spot for Dean.

"He drank more tea. That's three in less than twenty-four hours. Then we have YNs ghost around the bunker. She's pissed she hasn't been put to rest and has been watching Dean trying to stop him. But she can't because she can't break through the veil all the way."

Rowena is quiet for a bit. "Okay, I will be there later this afternoon. You owe me big time Samuel. Not just giving me a spell from that wee little spell book again."

"Okay. Fine."

[marueonmain]

WINDFLOWER

part four ~ it was them like that ~ 

(part one) (part two) (part three) (part four)

A/N: I rewrote this part twice wanting it to be perfect readable. I am grateful for every like/retweet: to quote our boy himself “I wish I could shake all your little hands.” Messages/asks are always highly appreciated. Strive to have a good quarantine, and take care of yourself!

Summary: Alex goes to find Sammy at his apartment and is met with an odd reception from Y/N.

Pairing: imallexx x reader

Warning: Language. Minor (Non-Graphic) Injury.

Word Count: 2.6k

Alex woke to the feeling of incessant buzzing in his hand. It was not a bright morning. With a groan, he opened his eyes – feeling the crust in the corners of them – and looked to his phone in his right hand. It buzzed with silenced notifications, and the screen lit up with banners and alerts. He tried to fight through his exhaustion. There was an odd taste in his mouth; he swirled his tongue around, attempting to produce saliva to little avail.

Propping himself on his elbows, he pulled his phone to his chest and read the lock screen. Nothing it said made sense. When he activated the touch ID, his phone opened to instagram and the last thing he watched before passing out (in his street clothes on top of his bedding). He had been watching an instagram story he was tagged in – even worse – it was George's instagram story.

To his horror, George had posted a solid three minutes of him dancing. Despite the overall low quality of the videos and darkness of the club, it was clear that it was indeed Alex who was throwing his limbs and jumping around erratically.  

George had also managed, even in his inebriated state, to post the worst of the videos on twitter. And his followers were going mad. Three hundred retweets, five hundred comments, and at least a thousand laughing-crying emojis in all. 

Alex groaned and tossed his phone to the end of the bed.

Getting up was a slow process. He had to stop to ground himself every few steps. While grasping a weak hand on his side table, he picked a pair of black joggers off the floor and replaced his white jeans with them. He moved steadily, grazing his fingertips along the wall as he went to his cupboard, and ripped a shirt from its hanger in an almost aggressive manner. He changed into it.

Eventually, he made it to his bathroom. After splashing water on his face and sticking his head under the faucet for a good minute, slurping the water like he would if he were drinking from a garden hose, he felt better. Alex tossed his hair around with his hand, pulling it forward and down, smoothing the cowlicks. Its slight greasiness was not too noticeable. He huffed, gathered his essentials (wallet, keys, phone) from his desk/bed, and left.

"You up already?" George called from where he sat on the sofa eating cereal. "It's before noon."

"Shut up. I saw your instagram story." Alex stood in the kitchen with a blank gaze debating whether to eat then or later. "You made me look like a complete bellend; I don't appreciate it."

"You wanted to dance! Who am I to deny the imallexx stans their behind-the-scenes exclusive?"

Rolling his eyes, Alex left the kitchen. At the front door, he slipped on the most available shoes there: which happened to be George's crocs (he swears he bought as a laugh but wore all the time).

"I'm going to go pick-up Sammy.” 

George snorted and said, "You mean pick-up off the floor, probably."

"Just be ready to film when we get back."

Standing out in the hall, breathing in the fixed smell of wet dog in the carpet, Alex thanked himself for being young enough to be able to near blackout and be just a touch ill in the morning.

It was not a full two minutes between Alex leaving George and him stepping out of the lift onto the floor above. Coming up on Sammy and Y/N's apartment, there was a fleeting regret that he wished he had thought in his morning haze to brush his teeth before showing up unannounced. But it was too late as his hand was raised and rapping on their door.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

Alex watched the door handle jump as it was twisted and pulled on the tiniest amount possible. Just enough for the latch bolt to disengage and reengage so that it rested – holding the door open – against the doorframe. There was no proper greeting. He felt like an intruder having to push on the almost closed door and let himself into the apartment: though invited not necessarily welcome.

Inside it was bright with all available light fixtures on including a scattering of floor and table lamps. There was the sound of a running shower.

To his left was Y/N ducked into her refrigerator. She pushed things around on the top shelf before landing her hand on a carton of eggs. Taking them out, she sat them on the counter next to a mixing bowl. She turned her back to Alex but not before flashing him a tense near straight-line smile.

"Hi." Y/N counted out three eggs from the carton. "Sam's in the shower."

Alex grabbed a bar seat. He rested slouched against the backrest but kept his shoulders square and arms open. Hair fell from his fringe, and he jerked his head out of instinct, flipping the hair out of his face. A bit bedraggled. The chain still around his neck from his night-out. Lithe arms stuck out from armholes three times their size as he drowned in the large yellow crewneck.

It was the same yellow as the one Y/N complimented him on earlier. Not that he recognized it when he was throwing on clothes. Not that he would admit he recognized it.

Y/N cracked three eggs into the mixing bowl with one hand and tossed the shells into the kitchen bin. She stood, her feet set like an arrow, with her toes touching. Next to the mixing bowl was a waffle iron with a red light on top and a baking mix box. She held it up; her mouth moved as she read off the ingredients on the recipe on the back of the box to herself.

Alex forced a light chuckle. "I'm surprised he's up. He was out of it when we dropped him off."

"You all were," mumbled Y/N into her collar. She placed the box down and stirred the contents of the mixing bowl with a fork and a quick hand. Her head was down focused on what she was doing; a little wrinkle formed between her eyebrows.

"You got me there." Alex shifted in his seat, scooching up so he might rest his forearms on the counter. He proceeded to crack his knuckles to occupy his nervous hands. "How is Sammy?"

"Fine."

"He's helping me film a video." Like a smiling dog promised and expecting a treat, Alex straightened up in his seat. He searched Y/N's side profile for a read on her but came up blank.

"Hmm," hummed Y/N letting up on her battering of the waffle batter.

It was evident in how his spine slumped and how he returned to resting on his arms that it was not the reaction Alex expected. The reaction he hoped for was a reaction at all but no such luck.

"I guess he would have told you. I'm a youtuber." Alex added in a stronger voice (as if her not hearing him was the issue), "So is George."

"Uh-huh." Polite in tone but nonetheless dismissive.

"I was hoping you'd text me, then I'd have your number as well."

Y/N gave no response. Her eyes were clouded and distant. Leaving the batter to sit, she crossed the kitchen and pulled open a drawer of miscellaneous utensils. While she searched for what she wanted, the fingers of her non-dominate hand drummed a rhythm against her hip.

"Did I do something wrong?" asked Alex.

"What?"

"Was it last night? Did I do something to offend you? I was trashed." He spoke plain, hiding the hint of hurt in his voice. His open palm-up hands moved in a series of give and take type gestures.

His bit of babbling grabbed Y/N's full attention. She pulled her focus up, from her search in the utensil drawer to Alex's face. Her hesitant gaze stopped at his mouth and nose before going further up.

Their eyes met. Alex felt a surge of warmth rushing upon him: a warmth he could lie in forever. Die in. So even his bones might one afternoon be exposed to it. It was clear at that moment (as if it was not before) that being around Y/N was not something Alex knew how to handle or react to.

There was an undeniable switch in her gaze – a moment of real recognition – and if eyes could talk, hers would have sighed and happily said, oh, it's you.

Alex reiterated, "I promise I don't remember a thing."

"Sorry, Al." (a pause like she did intend the nickname but then thought it inappropriate) "Sorry, Alex. It's not you. I just have a lot I'm thinking about."

"You don’t have to apologize; I was just a little worried is all." He relaxed, dropping his hands, letting them fall to his lap.

"You're sweet. Thank you." Her hand settled in the utensil drawer; she pulled out an ice cream scoop and held it at an odd angle. Fiddling with the lever as if checking it worked. It did. Y/N turned her back to him once more to place the ice cream scoop on the counter with the mixing bowl. She picked out the fork from the bowl and continued stirring the batter.

Sore from slouching and general aching muscles, Alex stood from the bar seat and stretched.

"You make a lot of breakfast foods, huh?" he asked as he stood with solid feet and twisted at the middle as far to his left as he could; he twisted to the other side as his spine screamed at him. "Is that your favourite then?"

"Why? Got something against breakfast?"

"I like buttered toast as much as the next—" Alex was distracted mid-thought when he lifted his foot and put it down again to the sound of a quiet crunch. Light speckles of paint dotted the floor, and when he lifted his foot, under it was a small chip of plasterboard.

"Toast, you said? How extravagant!"

A framed picture was stuck on the wall nearest Alex: one he did not recognize as being there before, but half the apartment was not yet unpacked when he last was there. How bad could you screw up your wall hanging something? He pulled on a bottom corner of the frame and peered behind it.

It was a fine hanging job. There was just a fist-sized hole in the plasterboard wall. And the framed picture was covering it.

Y/N glanced over to him. "That's nothing – just a little accident from last night. Could thank George for that if you like."

"George did that?"  He exclaimed, reeling as if he were about to faint. Alex made a fist and compared it to the hole. George and him about matched in height – matched hand sizes. While the hole in the plasterboard could eat Alex's hand.

Y/N's face dropped as she rushed to correct herself, "No! Not at all."

"You scared me," the words rode out on his bated breath. He put the framed picture back in place, moving to retake the bar seat.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that." Y/N gave a shallow shake of the head.

"What did happen?"

"Oh," she sounded exhausted, "Sam got angry because George was teasing him about something."

"What was it about?"

"I couldn't understand it. None of you lot were making sense," she said unconvincingly

"Come on, Red."

And there at his words or in reaction to the strange atmosphere Y/N rolled her left shoulder back and, when it returned to its natural resting position, she twitched. Her head turned forty-five degrees to the left, and her chin lifted so that her cheek was parallel to the ground for about half a second until her muscles relaxed, and she stood regular. Y/N spoke soft, "I don't know."

"Well, Sammy must have said something. Or George."

"Stop." Y/N spoke clear and stern, throwing her voice despite not facing him. "You were all giggling like idiots and piss drunk. Ok? It was bound to happen."

Atop the waffle iron, the red light switched to green. Y/N tilted the mixing bowl toward herself and grabbed the ice cream scoop. She stirred it around the bowl. Her elbow lifted from her side in the motion. It was shaking. She was shaking. Trembling – even if just a small amount.

"Ok," Alex said without thinking. 

The ice cream scoop gathered the golden batter. It would have looked delicious if his stomach was not so knotted.

Lifting the waffle iron lid, Y/N poured the batter in a circle from the outside-in, when the lid dropped, snapping shut on two of her fingers. "Ow! Shit."

She raced to the sink: turning it on to its coldest setting: she kept her hurt hand at a distance. Her free hand grasped her inner elbow supporting the extended arm. As the water bathed her burnt fingers, Y/N stood bent over with her head tucked under her arms and muttered a string of curses.

"Fuck. Are you alright?" Alex rushed around the counter. "Did you break them?"

"N-no. No." She was stuttering through distressed gasps.

"Red, it's not great." Alex laid a hand on her shoulder and another over her free hand on her arm. He felt her continuing to struggle for breath and start a self-soothing type rocking on her feet – not about to give in to the panic. "It’s not great, but you got to calm down. Follow me."

He pulled his lips in and inhaled a slow breath as if through a straw, exhaling it just the same. It took ten seconds of him doing the exercise on his own before Y/N began to follow. And it was them like that. And it was nice – given the circumstances.

Both their shirts were damp from the splashback of the running sink.

Half a minute passed. Y/N had not gained her complete composure, but her breathing evened out, and her muscles relaxed enough that Alex had to reposition himself to support her as she leaned into him slightly.

"Thank you." It was audible though her chin was still tucked to her chest.

"It's alright...I can't cook either."

She laughed a short laugh. "You were lying earlier?"

"I know, pretty believable."

Sammy walked in from the master bedroom: shirtless with his wet hair dripping water onto the floor: and his eyebrows knit together in immediate confusion and concern. Set in action, he rushed over to the kitchen and pulled Alex off Y/N (sending him stumbling over himself to regain balance). At Y/N's side, he turned off the sink and took hold of her hands, avoiding the burned fingers.

"Red. What did you do?" he asked.

"It's alright," she assured, and it was, as most minor burns are after a few seconds under cold water.

Alex was frozen in place – watching them – reconciling his protective instincts with his disorientation. And despite where his eyes landed in physical space, he was far off in another place in his mind.

Staring at him with a skewed frown, Sammy asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm– I was going to pick you up to film."

"Right." He straightened Y/N and himself up to be standing. "I'll be up in a bit."

It took a moment for the command from Alex's brain (move) to reach his legs. In that time, he stole a glance at Y/N whose face canvased a flustered blush. She smiled. A metaphorical dart whizzed around his head, striking a metaphorical bullseye, and producing a singular thought.™

He wished he could go back to about twenty-three lines ago. To when she was leaning on him.

Alex smiled a reassuring smile in return and shuffled out of the apartment. Two steps from the closed door, he heard Sammy say to Y/N in a hushed voice, "I’m here for you, Red, but you should have known better."

[megalony]

Family dinner

Another part of my dad! Ben Hardy series which I hope everyone is enjoying so far.

Taglist: @marshmallowmae @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @luvborhap @jennyggggrrr @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben glanced down to the little boy holding his hand, sighing when he saw James shaking his head as he glanced from his parents to the table in front of them in the restaurant that held their family. He didn't like group dinners, something about them got to the little boy. Sometimes it was because everyone was there and rowdy, sometimes it was just because he didn't like eating in front of others. He had been anxious the moment he stepped into the restaurant because there was so much noise.

Bending down Ben scooped James up into his arms before turning to (Y/n) who had Lola in her arms and Lily stood between them both.

"I think we'll go to the play area for a bit, no one's in there." Ben commented, reaching out for Lily's hand as (Y/n) nodded. Her lips quickly pressing to his own before she made her way to the table as the actor guided his other two kids left into the play area.

He didn't think it was the best idea to take James straight to the table when he wasn't feeling very calm, he would only get worked up and upset. The actor was thankful there were no other kids in the play area for now or else James wouldn't feel able to go in and Ben was too tall and broad framed to get in the play zone with him. Lily quickly let go of his hand to scuttle into the climbing area. The young girl climbing up the soft padded levels to get to the top and rush to the back where Ben lost sight of her.

"Do you want to go climbing buddy? Or go on the slide, maybe the ball pit?" Ben bounced his son on his hip, watching James point to the ball pit unsure what he really wanted to do.

Ben set him down next to the ball pit, sitting down on the edge as James sat down. Throwing a few balls around before getting up and weaving through them. He turned and threw some to Ben to gently threw them back, smiling to encourage James but the little boy didn't seem too happy. He didn't really see the point in the ball pit, they swamped his legs and made it hard for him to walk. They weren't soft so getting hit with them wasn't fun and playing catch with Ben wasn't the same as when they had the soft squishy ball they had at home. He didn't like it.

Looking to his dad, James shook his head clearly showing this wasn't his cup of tea.

"How about the slide? You like them." The actor watched James scan the play area before going up the climbing levels that his elder sister had gone up. Peering down the small distance to where Ben was, smiling when his dad stood up making his head about height with James. The little boy crawled on the soft leather material as Ben walked alongside him to make him feel more at ease. Watching as James moved to the slides, instantly going for the red one instead of the blue.

When he went down the slide, James sat at the bottom for a few seconds before turning to Ben, a small smile on his lips. He scuttled around to go down the slide again as Ben peered around for Lily. Seeing his eldest daughter going on the small zip line near the top of the slides. Offering for her brother to try only for him to rapidly shake his head no.

"Alright, are we ready to go see what we want for dinner?" James sat down just before the slides to look at Ben, shaking his head as Lily moved and sat beside him. The little boy was feeling happy, he wasn't anxious or upset or mad, he didn't like the ball pit but he liked the slide. He'd much rather play here until dinner and then go get something to eat and go home. He didn't want to socialise with family even if it was his aunts and uncles and his grandparents who he knew and was normally okay around.

"Stay here." James whispered quietly.

"We can't stay in here forever buddy... let me get a picture of you both coming down the slide and then we'll go and see what we want to eat. Please?" Ben pleaded, smiling when James lowered his eyes but nodded in response. Moving around Ben crawled inside to the bottom of the slides, grabbing his phone from his pocket as he sat cross-legged beneath the blue slide.

For once, James didn't pull away from Lily when she lightly sat behind him, her legs by the side of his own as she put her arms around his middle very cautiously and without much pressure. Ben could see James tense just a little, looking rather unsure but he said nothing and it amazed Ben to have both kids not fighting or squabbling or screaming at each other for once. This was most definitely a picture he needed for evidence that they hadn't started a fight and could get along for once.

Ben snapped a few pictures before crawling back out after both kids. Taking James' hand as Lily guided them out of the play area and into the restaurant again. Trotting over to the table Lily sat down between (Y/n) and Ben's mother as Lola was sitting on her mother's lap, gurgling at one of the menus as if she understood the writing on it.

The actor sat down on (Y/n)'s other side with James sitting on his left, the little boy reached out for a menu that he placed in front of him so his auntie and uncle sitting across from him couldn't see him. His frame itching into Ben's side to be away from his cousin who was sitting on his left. James didn't not like his cousin, he just didn't want to talk to her right now. She was very talkative and a bit pushy which contrasted with how James was very isolated and quiet. He preferred to sit away from her so she didn't overwhelm him.

"Don't do that buddy." Ben murmured, gently lowering the menu so James wasn't hiding behind it. Ben pressed his hand to the menu when James tried again to lift it up, his expression hardening as he turned to look at his dad who simply raised his brows in return. He knew James got upset and anxious but he didn't have to try and hide.

"Do you want to do some colouring?" Sarah, Ben's sister offered, holding out a sheet of paper she got from the front desk and a pack of four crayons. Giving one sheet and packet to James and one to her daughter Maddy sitting next to him. Watching her nephew try and smile at her in response, nodding his head in thanks before looking down to the page. His eyes scanning over to see what games it had on it, seeing a Wordsearch, a pathfinder game. Some colouring, some questions and a few jokes although he was only interested in the colouring in for the time being.

Ben watched his son for a few moments, seeing he was content with beginning to colour the sun at the top of the page before grabbing the green crayon to do the tops of the carrots. Satisfied that James was content Ben looked over to his sister, beginning a conversation as everyone looked at the menus to see what they wanted.

"Daddy?" James questioned, gently tugging on Ben's sleeve to gain his attention. "Wrong colours." He whispered, pointing to the picture he was trying to colour and the crayons he had in the cardboard packet. He had been given red, yellow blue and green. He had no orange for the carrot, nothing for the potato and no proper colours for the other food on the page. James couldn't do the wrong colours it upset him. When his eyes glanced over to Maddy the little boy visibly shivered when he noticed she was scribbling over the carrot in red, going out of the lines which made James frown and turn away from her.

"Oh... why don't you try the Wordsearch instead?" James' face fell, wishing he had brought his colours and his colouring book with him. That would have made him feel a lot better. He didn't want to do the Wordsearch, he wasn't very good at them and he just wanted to colour. James pushed his hand out at the crayons, watching them roll away on the table near to Sarah as Ben reached out and took his hand. Not wanting him to rip up the page or snap the crayons like he seemed to do lately. "Now come on buddy, Wordsearch or look at the menu. Nothin' to get upset about."

Ben grabbed the kids menu again and sat it in front of his son, moving his hands out to put the crayons away before James snapped them. James pushed himself back into the chair, slumping down and tucking his chin into his chest. His arms folding over his chest as Ben sighed, grabbing the menu and scanning over it.

"Right, I'll decide for you if you're gonna be like that." James looked up at Ben but didn't say anything, hearing his dad tell his mum that he was going to have fish fingers. Something the little boy would normally eat without a fuss. Ben bit his lip when James suddenly turned his back on Maddy when she started yapping his ear off. James didn't realise he was being rude, he just didn't want her to talk to him, he wanted to be alone. "Do you need a time out?" Ben questioned, reaching out and moving James so he was sitting on his lap instead. His head resting on Ben's chest as he curled up against his chest, looking to (Y/n) as she smiled at him, leaning to ruffle his hair trying to calm him down.

"Someone's just hungry." (Y/n) responded, knowing James would most likely be a bit better when he was eating. The four-year-old wouldn't eat if no one else was eating but everyone would be and he was having one of his favourites. He got grumpy when he needed something to eat. "Why don't you go and talk to grandad? He hasn't seen you for a week."

Ben gently eased James from his lap when the little boy nodded at his mother's suggestion. Trotting over to the end of the table where Ben's dad was sitting, looking a little nervous but he sat with his grandad all the same.

Leaning over Ben rested his chin on (Y/n)'s shoulder, his thumb brushing over the back of Lola's hand when she took his left hand in both of hers. A small babble leaving her lips before she waved Ben's hand near to her drink. Letting go of her hand Ben grabbed the fruit shoot bottle, uncapping the lid and handing it to his youngest whose eyes locked with his own. The corners of her eyes crinkled as she smiled around the drink. The toddler clumsily set the bottled drink down on the table before crawling onto Ben's lap.

(Y/n) waved James back over when the food started to come out, watching her son quickly move back to his seat without saying a word.

Grabbing the pot of sauce from the middle of the table, setting it in front of James who looked up at Ben before beginning to eat. Ben grabbed a spoon from the middle of the table, putting some mashed potatoes on it from his plate before handing it to the toddler on his lap. Lola had already been fed before they came out but that didn't mean she wouldn't try and help herself to whatever was on his plate.

James tilted his head down as he started to eat some peas, the little boy ate in sections, he couldn't eat some peas and then go straight for another vegetable. He had to finish one vegetable or food and then go to another, mixing things up wasn't what he did. When he managed to eat all of the peas scattered around the plate, Ben leaned over and cut up the fish fingers for him. Rubbing his hand up and down James' arm for a little while to keep him calm before he went back to eating his own food, Lola trying to help him finish his plate.

The young boy rested his head on Ben's arm as he continued to eat rather slowly. His eyes flitting around the table to the other people sitting with them. Ben was talking to his father sat across from him, (Y/n) was taking to Lily and Ben's mother and the actor's sister and brother were talking to their partner or kids. Everyone was talking to one another, even Lola was babbling through a mouthful of food. It was a sensory overload for the little boy. He didn't like how he couldn't keep track of one conversation without hearing another one that sent him off track and topic. Nor did he like the other conversations from the people sitting on tables around them.

Their laughs were too loud and forced, some too high pitched, their conversations random and weird. The constant mixture of voices was sending James into a downward spiral as he wanted to go home. Home, where he could have the tv on low to a volume that didn't upset him and sit in his room so both sisters couldn't overload his senses with their babbles and random topics. Where James could sit in his cupboard like Harry Potter and listen to some quiet music or where he could lay down and watch a movie with one of his parents.

Ben didn't miss the way his son flinched when the conversations seemed to get louder around them at their table when people began to finish their meals. Turning to his right, Ben gently nudged his wife indicating for her to take Lola from him so he could focus on James.

"Alright, buddy?" Ben questioned, biting his lip when James shook his head, burying himself into Ben's side as his knee started to jitter up and down against the chair. "Too loud?" He guessed, gaining no answer as James simply stayed buried in his side, wishing they were going home now but he knew they wouldn't be just yet. Family dinners like this meant they stayed for dessert and then sit and chat for a while afterwards before leaving to go home.

James didn't know which was worse, when they came to restaurants for dinner or when they went to someone's house. James didn't like the loudness of restaurants and the general unease he felt due to social anxiety. But when he went to one of the family member's houses for family dinner he felt awful because it wasn't a safe space for him. He didn't feel okay in their homes and there wasn't anywhere he could go to hide away and calm down because at his aunt and uncles homes they had their rooms and their kids rooms and everyone else downstairs. He liked when people came round to their house for dinner because he could go to his room when he felt like this.

Reaching over, Ben gently sat James down on his lap before grabbing a menu to look for dessert.

"If they come to take orders, we'll share this one. We're gonna go and have a time out." Ben turned to (Y/n), pointing to one of the sundaes on the menu which was James' favourite before getting up. He needed to take James somewhere so he could calm down and feel more at ease.

Standing up, Ben walked away from the table, taking a glance into the play zone before turning right to head in there. Surprisingly no kids were in there yet, it was nice and quiet and James could run around or lash out on the cushioned walls. Walking under one of the arches of the climbing frame area, Ben moved and sat down leaning up against the cushioned wall with James on his lap.

"I- I want to go home." James mumbled, his lower lip wobbling before the tears suddenly spilled over his eyes.

"I know you do buddy, we're gonna have some ice cream and then go home I promise." James rested his head on Ben's shoulder, small whimpers leaving his lips as Ben gently swayed him side to side. His hand resting to the back of his son's head, brushing through his hair.

[ddaeng-angmoh]

Your Den or Mine?

When Yoongi was abandoned by his creator, he lost himself in the darkness. He had never had any hope for love or even his own humanity. When a human stumbled into his forest he thought that maybe that could change, but he forgot that humans have a mind of their own, and his woman might not like being pulled into his world.

Date: March 1st

Word Count: 5,660

Genre: Angst, Fluff

@yeontanismypresident

 As science changed so did the world and its laws of morality. Society had finally found a way to mix the DNA of humans and animals to produce organs for surgeries. Humans no longer had to wait in long lines in order to get the body parts they needed, instead, their own DNA could be used to incubate the needed organs inside of the bodies of animals. The situation was revolutionary and changed the medical field forever. This meant that the race for organ transplants was still large, but suddenly it was so much more manageable. But with this realization the rich started funding projects to make a proper chimera, they wanted to have their own pets. Humans with the features of animals that they could keep and own, something that would be interesting and only draw more attention to their wealth. So it happened, scientists were able to use the medical developments of the organ growing chimeras to make human hybrids. Suddenly the anime cliches of girls with the ears and tails of cats existed, the world was changing and people were frantically trying to see how they could change the dynamics of their lives. Instead of miscarriages, scientists worked to incubate the abandoned eggs and sought to modify them so they could grow into these hybrids. Creatures of every kind were being tested for compatibility. There were canines, amphibians, fish, felines, everything was being tested, but some became more attractive than others. In both looks, and mannerisms.

The hybrids that were grown were seen not seen as humans, after all, they had the DNA of animals coursing through them. They were tagged and told that they were not to be seen on the tier of humans and told they existed for the temporary excitement of their owners. In their race to ignore the possible humanity of their creatures scientists only examined their emotional intelligence. This was because if they tested any further they might have to admit that these hybrids were just as human as the people working on the hybrids. Instead, the focus was on whether the traits of their animal side was dangerous or too odd. If their quirks were too unfamiliar then scientists would attempt to take it from them. If it was too dangerous, they were locked away. They couldn’t be sold, after all, they could harm the people around them without the understanding that their actions were improper.

That was why Yoongi was sitting by a lake, waiting in a damp forest. He had been abandoned long ago, he had been a disaster from the start. He had the honour of being a snake hybrid, not only was he not cute and fluffy, but his sharp teeth and scaled skin intimidated the strongest of buyers. He had lived his life alone in a containment facility. His creator had been enamoured with snakes and had found a breed that reminded him of home. When he produced Yoongi, he had hoped he had made a hybrid that would be as beautiful as its origin and as docile as a common pet. But that was not what happened. Yoongi produced venom much like the mamushi snake he had been derived from, and his attitude was dark and hostile. He was friendly enough, but he had little patience for things that bored him, and he was quick to send away all those that annoyed him. He never had the hope of being adopted, of being a sullen owned half-breed. Though he supposed that was not such a bad thing. Despite that, Yoongi still felt insufferably alone. When the scientist had realized that Yoongi had no hope of being adopted, no chance of being loved, he let him go. He released Yoongi into a forest in a reclusive part of their country and left the hybrid to fend for himself.

Yoongi had hated the scientist for a long time, he had been fearful of going mad, or of dropping into the instinctual mood of his predatory side. But Yoongi had survived, he had managed to make a home in the lonely forest. He had found a cave that was humid in the summer. He had taken to curling up in the heat and relaxing in the warm weather, but when the cold came he would scurry to the back and drop into a hibernate like state. As much as the scientists wished that he was more like the creature he was modelled after, he truly wasn’t. His body was not made to live off of only a few months of food then lie in wait for the warmth. So every season when the heat came back he would pull himself from the cave taunt and malnourished and try to keep going. The strain on his body left him feeling useless, there was nobody and nothing by his side. He felt as though there was little he could do. He wished he could move in the cold, he wished he could go out into society. But he knew the scales that speckled around his eyes, and the sharp point of his teeth made his origins obvious. He could never last in the cold without becoming lethargic, and he could never get adopted with his sullied origins. Yoongi had become well aware that his life was simply to remain in such a strained state. Never warm enough, never full enough, and never content. It was the life he was due simply because a man had played god with his DNA. There was no way for him to escape, at least, that was what he had always thought.

Yoongi’s days of loneliness had ended when he heard giggles in the forest. His fingers had been skimming the cool water of the lake, the smell of rocks and insects had his tongue flicking in his mouth. It took all his control to block out the overwhelming scents of nature, it was then that he smelt something odd. Something man-made, he could smell chemicals in the air, it made his skin crawl and reminded him of his days in the clean room. With a sigh, he pushed himself up and walked along the damp foliage. His shoes were well worn and he could feel everything he stepped on through the thin bottoms, but he was well used to the wet weeds and moist dirt. It was warmest by the lake after all, so it was where he spent his time. The heat from summer would hit the lake and spin the air with such humidity that he could feel his scales shiver with pleasure. He wondered if the humans that were wandering around his forest were seeking the same respite from the cold. Even in the summer it could sneak along the wind and harass his sensitive skin. But it was his home so, with curiosity, he wandered along the trees so he could see the group. Two females were walking along his forest giggling amongst each other. He had no plan to watch them, at least until he saw you. His sharp gaze had landed on you and he watched with fascination. Something about you caught his gaze, he wasn’t sure if it was the way you watched your friend with amusement, laughing as much as you watched out for her. Or if it was because your hands were always ready to steady your friend, as much as you were excited to move along the small path.

"The campground isn’t far, right?“ Your voice was music to his ears, he hadn’t met many women in his time contained. The ones he did were cold and clinical, much like his creator. They prodded him and asked him questions, never speaking with the tender tone you did. He supposed it was your voice that caught him at the start because the chance to hear something so rare and delicate was intoxicating.

"Well, it isn’t much of a campground now.” Your friend spoke warily, with a sheepish look. Her voice was nice, he supposed, but it lacked the delightful lilt you had. So Yoongi tilted his head and watched the girls walk further away, not dwelling any further on your friend. He knew the place she spoke of, and he didn’t think it was good enough for you. The forest used to be a tourist area, but when the local mine shut down the people left the local area and it lost its interest. The campground still existed but much of it had grown over, there were only a few safe areas. So for you, it wouldn’t be comfortable.

"Of course, because when you said I was going to help with your photography project that obviously meant an abandoned campground.“ Your sarcasm was sharp and Yoongi felt his lips curl in amusement as he listened. His steps were silent against the plants as he followed you, he knew your words would disappear if you saw him. A monster like him was only made to create fear after all. So he licked his lips from his stress, and the simple action filled his senses with your scent. He knew the sweet smell was you, who else would smell so delicate?

"Hey, you voted for roughing it.” Your friend smiled at you, and Yoongi wondered if all women could smile as nicely as you did when you looked back at your friend. Yoongi brushed his hair out of his face to see you better, but as he did he saw the speckles of scales that littered his hand. He couldn’t forget his place, he wasn’t just a hybrid, after all, he was also a monster. The teeth that rested in his mouth contained toxic venom, which was most definitely dangerous for humans. The venom was nothing compared the brown and black scales that littered his skin, flowering on his pale skin. Even his looks were abhorrent.

"I didn’t vote for being alone in a forest, what if we die,“ you said your words with little fear. You didn’t believe that any harm could come to you, you had never encountered anything truly dangerous after all. So why would such a worry be on your mind? But Yoongi saw the danger, so your words scared him. He was going to leave you and your friend behind, he truly was. Or he had wanted to at least but what kind of person would he have to be to leave you alone? Your friend hadn’t brought anything to protect you, and you looked so delicate so he couldn’t let you be alone. It would be his fault if you got hurt, and he never wanted to see the pain on your face.

Which was why when you had gotten to the campground and found the clearest spot, Yoongi had sat down in the foliage and watched with a curious expression as you sent up the tent. The thin fabric perplexed him, it couldn’t protect you if the weather turned. He was no stranger to the rain and storms that flooded his forest, such a small thing would blow over leaving you and your friend cold and uncomfortable in the chill. His small cave would be much safer, he had filled it with things left by the other humans, it was safe and comfortable. You wouldn’t have the same worries about the weather, not if he was the one to provide for you. His den had taken him a long time to put together, it was perfect for him so wouldn’t that mean it was perfect for you? But your friend, he wasn’t sure he liked her yet and he would never open his den to a stranger. She was pretty, of course, he found women had a natural beauty about them, but beauty meant nothing to him. Beauty did not create trust after all, so if he were to choose a mate, someone to share his den with he would never use beauty as a measure. Somehow he knew that if he had to choose a mate, he would want you. He had heard the scientists bring it up many times, hybrids had a capability to mate with humans. It wasn’t abnormal, but he had always known he would never get a chance to. Not only was his bite deathly but he would never get adopted and thus never get a chance to find a woman he wanted. Yet there was the beautiful you, with the tender voice and soft eyes. He wanted to cherish the look on your innocent face, he wanted to protect you and provide for you as your mate. But he hadn’t even said a word to you yet. He was unsure how humans told their mates they wanted them, but all he knew was he wanted you with him and not your friend. So he leaned against the tree and waited, his eyes sliding closed as he basked in the heat of the summer day.

Yoongi was well acquainted with waiting, he spent half of the year doing so after all. He had become used to laying in the ripped blankets, waiting for winter to end. He had gotten used to the bone weary tiredness that overtook him by the time summer hit, and the wait for some food to come anywhere near him. He would wait, and wait, and rest until something came close enough for him to feed and gain even a miniscule amount of energy. So when the sun had fallen away, leaving the scent of night teasing at his nose, he had opened his eyes with a peaceful sigh. He wasn’t sure if he could hold in his excitement but he knew he had to try. His joints ached, and he had to stretch when he got up. His body was still malnourished, his life in the wilderness was harmful to his human side. Despite that, he had no wish to go back to the sheltered life he had lived before. He preferred the aches of his weary limbs over the crushing loneliness and judging glares he had garnered from the scientists. The thoughts made his eyes droop with his resentment, but he shoved it away so he could focus on the tent he was approaching. His fingers grasped with zipper, and he slowly pulled it up so he could look inside the tent. He saw your friend first, she was curled up in her sleeping bag with her fingers gripping the man-made fabric close. Dismissing her he looked past her form and smiled when he saw you laying as if in wait for him. Your hair was a mess, and your lips were parted just enough for him to see how plush they were. He bit his lip softly, ignoring the sharp pinch against his skin. You were so beautiful, he was unsure how he had never seen someone as gorgeous as you. But, he supposed that was because there may not be anyone else like you.

He pulled you into his arms with a soft sigh of exertion, Yoongi was strong enough to hold you but he wasn’t used to using his muscles. He had no real use for strength, he had what he needed without any real use of force. A simple bite could take down the things he feared, all he needed was the speed he used to maneuver from what he perceived as dangerous. He hummed the thoughts away as he slowly zipped the tent closed, carrying you towards his den. He didn’t like the feeling of the sleeping bag you were nestled in. The fabric was abrasive against his skin and lacked any real cloth, it felt more like a smooth plastic than anything he would enjoy. But you seemed to enjoy it, so he let you remain inside. His hold was gentle, and his steps were quiet as he moved. He was scared he would wake you, he didn’t want to disturb your rest. His mate deserved the best after all, and if you wanted to be in peace you should have it. Yoongi felt a stirring of guilt in his chest as he ducked under a branch, avoiding the trees as much as he could for you. He was terrified that you would hate him when you awoke and saw his scale speckled face. He was not a cat, he was not a dog, and he knew humans preferred such creatures. But he had chosen you, so that was that, mating was a choice after all. If he chose you then that was it, wasn’t it? Yoongi hadn’t learned much about love, he knew nothing about it just that it was an elusive thing connected to mating. So if he chose you as his mate, you must love him, and he must love you. Such thoughts set him at ease.

"I promise I’ll take care of you,” Yoongi said as he ducked into his cave. The stone face was low, but the inside was tall and deep. Its low entrance kept the wind and rain out, letting him curl in his blankets in peace whenever the cold took him over and kept any possible bears from coming upon him as he slept. He had problems with some other creatures, but it never lasted long before he made it out safely. His ability to keep his den safe, he hoped you would appreciate it, and that you would know he could keep you safe so you would never have to fear. He heaved out a sigh as he laid you down on his pile of blankets. The cloth was scavenged from when the humans had left the nearby town. Most places had been cleared out, but some places like the homeless shelters had things left behind. He had brought everything he thought he could use. There was a little table off to the side, he never used it but it held books warped from the humid air. There was a tarp along the ground that held all his blankets, keeping the cloth from getting wet, but the sharp scent of mould still hit his nose. He could do nothing for the moist air or its manner of destroying his things. The best he could do was to make a small cover for the entrance of his cave. It was a shabby thing made of planks and covered in tarp and it did nothing for the air but it did its job enough that he felt safe in his little den. Yoongi curled up beside you, relaxing as the scent of his den filled his nose. He could taste you beside him, and that alone helped his eyes slide shut and left his muscles loose. With you by his side, he knew he would never have to worry about sleep again.

 Yoongi woke up to the sound of you shuffling in your sleeping bag, he could smell your scent turn sour as your confusion rose. It wasn’t a pleasant smell at all, in fact, he was quite sure it was a smell he would prefer to never smell again. He missed the sweet way you had smelt the day before when you had been laughing with your friend. “What’s wrong?” He opened his eyes, questioning you with a confused expression perched on his sharp face. Your face was beautiful up close, and he found it cute how you stared with eyes so wide with your own confusion. Your lips parted and he wondered why you weren’t saying anything, it was frustrating to him. You had been so kind with your friend, he had spent the whole day previous wondering what it would sound like for you to give him the beautiful words you had.

"Who are you?“ When you finally spoke it was with a tense body and clenched fingers. You could see only faintly in the cave, the entrance only let in a little bit of light after all. Yoongi’s face was only a shadow in the darkness, but that didn’t alleviate your fear at all. To wake up in a strange place, alone with a male you had never seen before was a terrifying experience. The only reason you had yet to run was that you were so just as scared as you were lost. To be in the presence of such a stranger who had managed to steal you away in the night meant that you had no idea if he would kill you with any move. Perhaps you were selfish, but you wanted to live, you didn’t want to lose your life, and so you stared at him through the darkness hoping that it was all some sick dream. But the sharp scent of decay and musk convinced you that your dream may just be the reality.

"Yoongi,” his voice was harsh to your ears. Yoongi was just as scared as you, after all, he was so used to humans running from him that he feared you would as well. “Are you hungry? I can find you something,” he was eager to please you, he wanted you to think that he was a viable mate. Yoongi didn’t want to let you think that he would ever leave you lacking, he had to prove himself after all. “Y/n?” His nose bumped your neck as he opened his mouth, tasting your scent again. The sour scent made him choke and back away, looking at you with growing annoyance.

"How do you know who I am,“ you shot back at his actions, your voice wavering as your hands slipped on the stone you had backed onto. Your body fell back and you hit the rock with a heavy gasp following as you stared up at the ceiling of the cave. Your vision was only clear for moments before he was hovering over you, his brown eyes focused with worry. Your heart stuttered with fear when you saw scales surrounding his eyes, like tears around his pale skin. A hybrid. You had never owned one, you never believed in the containment of humans. No matter what anyone said you knew they had intellect and that they were no more a pet than you were. But you weren’t ignorant, you knew that they were dangerous because as human as they were they had the instincts of an animal. You knew that even though they were made to be pets, most never made the cut, snakes included. The reptiles were not able to fit into society smoothly enough, the few that managed to get adopted were put down due to their lack of restraint. The snakes were volatile and had a habit of biting the people that got in their way, something that was dangerous when some had inherited the venom of their animal side.

"I saw you yesterday, I watched you,” Yoongi spoke quietly, his gaze softening as he looked down at you. It was a success that you hadn’t screamed or ran. You loved him too, he believed that completely. “I knew when I first saw you, you’re perfect. I couldn’t find anyone better than you.” He was ignorant to your shaking fingers that pressed against the ground as if that would steady you. He couldn’t see the way you flinched when he leaned in closer. All he could see was your beautiful eyes looking at him, and your delicate nose that sloped so gently that he wondered if you were sculpted instead of born. He could see the questions in your eyes, and his lips curled into a smile at how attractive you looked under him. Docile, but he could feel the spark of life in you. “You’re mine, Y/n. You’re my mate,” he said with wonder evident in his voice. His head ducked low again as he took in your scent. He could smell something else within the sour fear radiating from you, something that gave him hope.

"I have a boyfriend,“ the lie fell from your shaking lips as you tried to steady your breath. You were rightfully terrified, but there was a primal attraction when he spoke so definitively. You had never liked the thought of being owned, yet you had always felt arousal at the thought of being claimed. The idea that somebody could want you so much that they would do such a thing. It was a conflicting pleasure, something that gave you guilt as much as it did attraction. Your sins had finally caught up to you, your silent dreams had lead you into the den of a likely venomous hybrid. They had lead you right into his arms, and right under his lithe body.

"Not anymore,” Yoongi may have been a snake, but the growl that shook his at his vocal cords was worthy of any wild feline. The thought that you belonged to anyone else terrified him, he could feel his fangs ache with the venom that flowed through them. His creator had never removed the glands that produced his venom, he had planned to release Yoongi the whole time. But in the situation where he was hovering over his mate, he regretted such a thing. No matter how much safety it gave him, any moment where he could hurt his mate was petrifying. “You’re mine, I’m the one who will protect you, and I am the one who will provide for you.” He breathed out heavily through his nose, trying to repress his frustration. But it was impossible, knowing that his mate had another was enough to make him snap. He had finally made it out of the darkness, he had finally found a way to stop being alone and some stranger miles away risked it all being destroyed. You were terrified beneath him, but he couldn’t find it in himself to notice. Instead, his thoughts were focused on how he could replace your fictional boyfriend, he couldn’t be a good mate if he knew you had another on your mind after all.

Your breaths steadied slowly, and you matched him without a second thought. You felt suffocated under him, waiting in the silence for any reaction. His body above yours was encompassing, and every moment under him caused his eyes to darken until all you saw was black. What little light illuminated his face only made you notice the predatory look in his eyes and the stiff setting of his jaw. But he, he felt completely different from you. Yoongi felt empowered, he felt safe, and he felt insufferably warm. You felt like the sun to him, the heat of your gaze settled in his bones and left him with a relief he only felt after hours in the sun. Your fearful gaze only reminded him how delicate you were, and made him want to pull you deeper into his den and hold you close. It made him want to mark you, a dry bite wouldn’t harm you, and he was almost tempted to risk it. He wanted to smell himself off of you, he could almost imagine how you would smell with a bit of him curled within you. He imagined that nothing could smell better than such a thing and he didn’t want to risk a stranger marking you first. No man could have you, no, he would never let another man touch you. But his dreams meant nothing when you were settled beneath him so silently. “Say something,” Yoongi slammed his palm down by your head, desperate for your acknowledgment to his words. But you couldn’t find anything to say, what was there to say after all? You could see the feral look in his eyes, the reptile that was ready to strike, and you knew your life was something that could easily be lost if the wrong thing was said.

Yoongi was thirsty for your attention, he longed for you to reach up and take his face into his hands. He wanted to feel you pull him to your neck, he wanted you to surrender yourself to him and let him take over. His sheer want for you was filling him, he needed to claim you, he needed to prove that you were his and his alone. But the way you looked into his eyes told him that there was something else that needed attention. Because he knew you were scared of him, he could see the growing confusion, the hatred. “Pay attention to me!” His voice echoed off the stone, filling the den with the sound of his desperation. It couldn’t happen, you couldn’t say no, you couldn’t. You were his, you had to say yes, you loved him didn’t you? He loved you, after all, so you had to, you had to. That was how it worked he took you to his den and you said yes, that was it.

"I hate you,“ the words spilled from your lips. Your determination was so strong, but Yoongi only chuckled. His lips curled up and he leaned closer to you, his lips brushing against the tender skin of your jaw. With a flick of his tongue, he licked your tender skin, revelling in the taste of you. You couldn’t, you couldn’t hate him. That wasn’t how it worked. You were his, and only his. You had lied about a boyfriend because you didn’t know what he had for you, but he knew best. You would drop the facade and you would come to him with understanding.

"No, you don’t,” Yoongi said with a shaky laugh. His eyes were burning with his determination, you loved him too. His nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck as his hollowed fangs brushed against your skin, still stiff with venom. “You can’t hate me, because I love you.” His words were convincing enough for him, it was his own reality. But if you fought, there must have been a reason, there must have been a source of your agitation. He blinked slowly and moved off of you. His scrawny frame was still taller than yours, towering over you as he stood and looked down at you on the ground. “Is it the den? I thought you would like it, but humans. They like other things,” he tilted his head curiously, and the scales on his neck caught the light as he moved. He had seen how tightly the humans had clutched their possessions as they left their town behind. “You want your den,” his voice trailed off as he grasped your hand to pull you up. You had the audacity to push yourself up off of the ground, and that made his nose flare with frustration. But he had to be understanding, he needed to be. His mate was just confused, he must have moved too fast.  You didn’t understand that you were supposed to lean on him. “We’ll go to your den then,” he brushed your jaw with his thumb and smiled. He had such hopes for his own den, he had dreamt of a night spent curled up in his own cave with you happy in his arms. But his love wanted her own home, and he could not fault you for that. He had to be the one to make the sacrifice.

"No!“ Your voice was sharp, piercing the cave with its pitch. Your words stirred the reptile within him, your reaction was unacceptable. Yoongi grasped your neck and pulled you close, the feeling of your chest hitting his was a small relief that gave him the strength to not act. He had been scared he would harm you, but he felt the restraint, and the need to coddle you. You were precious to him after all, and everything within him knew that.

"Yes,” his thumb gently stroked your neck, as if his hold wasn’t lethal. “I go where my mate goes, and my beautiful mate wants to go home. Doesn’t she?” He watched your eyes flicker, and he held onto to euphoria that you were looking right at him. Your attention was completely on him, and there was nothing else that was taking you from him. He felt as though he could watch you for years, your beauty was mesmerizing enough that he had forgiven your shout.

"Y-yes,“ you said. The stutter only drew a growing smile from his dried lips. Yoongi truly believed that even your fear was enticing. It was as though everything that you did was a mating call that begged him to bit into your delicate neck and mark you as his. Everything about you was enough to make him abandon his den which was the one place where he could ever feel safe. But you were worth it. So instead of responding, he let his grip on your neck loosen, and his palms ran down your body until his hands were on your waist. The silence in the cave was nothing to him, but he could feel your shaking under his pale skin.

"Then let’s go home.” Yoongi hummed as his grip on your waist tightened. He knew it was silly to fear you disappearing but it was all he knew. Your weary eyes and quivering lips were enough to make him want to pull you against him and into his blankets. It made him want to hold you tight and never let go, to sleep away even the summer if it meant that you stayed with him. But he knew that your refusal from before was over, you had finally realized what he wanted. You had realized that all he wanted was to love you. He wanted to keep you and let everyone know that you were his and that you would only mate with him, and him alone. He didn’t know what would happen in the future when he went home with you, but he knew that he would never take no for an answer. Wherever you went he would go as well, after all, that was what a lover did.

[justice-for-shayla]

Crazy Enough

A/N: The prompt was Roommates and Friends to Lovers, so this is what you get. I’m working on the other prompts too, so be on the lookout and let me know if you want to be added to the tags for future ones. 

Word Count: 2480

Tag List: @r-ahh-mi, @karla-s-main, @aquamanpng 

Warnings: Implied sexual content, jealously, referenced mental trauma, nightmares, no editing to speak of. 

God you loved having loaded friends. This apartment was ten kinds of amazing and there was no way in hell you could have ever afforded to live like this on your own, but with Josh and the Washington family fortune, all things were possible.

When Josh had initially suggested living together after college, you’d kind of laughed and made a joke about budget, thinking that would be the end of it, but it was one of Josh’s few thoughts that he really stuck with, clinging like a dog engaged in a game of tug of war.

“That doesn’t matter; I’ll pay for it,” He’d insisted. 

You’d resisted. You couldn’t just move in with a guy for free. As much as you wanted your first real apartment as an adult to be nice, you refused to live off the Washington’s charity. “Josh, I can’t live in a place I’m not working for.”

“Come on, Y/N, you know living with me would be a full time job; the least I could do is cover your half of the rent.”

Slowly, over a matter of weeks, he’d broken down your resistance. The final wall had crumbled while you were studying for exams, subsisting on oatmeal and ramen when Josh had shown up at your door, holding a bag full of takeout. “Please live with me,” He’d said and though he smiled you knew him too well not to see the real fear he was feeling; he didn’t want to live alone.

“Fine, but I get first pick of whatever’s in that bag, and I need your notes from the Milgram lecture.��

Now that you were moving in, you couldn’t even feel bad about your dependance because this apartment was so nice. Josh’s mom had thrown herself into decorating it. She needed projects to distract herself, and decorating was one of her few passions that didn’t remind her of her lost daughters. She’d done the whole place with a strange mix of care and fervor, somehow communicating through the decor alone how desperately she wanted this to work out.

“It looks really nice, Mrs. Washington,” You said.

She smiled. “Oh, please, call me Alma. Have you seen your room yet?”

You shook your head and followed her into the best room you’d ever seen. It was all done in soft colors with large windows and tons of light, blankets and extra pillows were artfully and casually draped across every piece of furniture leaving the whole room with a cloudlike feel.

“Josh said you liked soft things,” Mrs. Washington said. “He wanted to surprise you and wouldn’t let me ask you myself.”

If she had asked, you would have lied and said you wanted to do it yourself so that the Washingtons didn’t spend any more money on you, but you couldn’t help but feel glad that no one has asked. You’d never been in a room as nice as this. “It’s perfect.”

“I’m glad to hear that. We’re so grateful that you’re staying with Josh--” She trailed off, discomfort etched on her face. “He sometimes needs.... Well it’s very good that he has good friends.”

“Right,” You said, wishing you knew how to tell her that it was okay, that you knew how Josh was and that-- though his bad episodes really could freak you out-- you would be okay with him, and good for him if you could be. “I’m very grateful for all you’ve done for me, and I’m looking forward to living with Josh.”

The first few weeks were a honeymoon period while you adjusted to new jobs and city living and dealing with each other. It all went surprisingly well, and you were beginning to feel like you could handle this.

The first cold snap started the nightmares. You knew he always got bad in the winter-- he’d told you as much-- but you’d never seen it up close and personal. He became withdrawn, quiet, snappish and forgetful, none of which made for an ideal living situation.

“Josh, I’m not asking for that much,” You said, with as much false patience as you could find, “I just need you to clean up after yourself. Do some laundry, put your shit away, just so I don’t have to come home to this every day.”

“If you hate it here just move,” Josh said dispassionately, staring at a TV show he wasn’t watching.

You rolled your eyes. “Stop trying to make me feel guilty; you know I don’t want to move--”

“No, I know you can’t move,” He said, finally turning to you with lips curled in disgust. “You need a nice free place and all the food that I buy--”

“I have never asked you to do that,” You snapped. “You always offer, and if you’re going to use it to guilt-trip me, I’d rather if you just stopped doing it.”

“So now I can’t do anything nice for you? I thought we were friends!”

“Jesus, Josh, of course we’re friends,” You said, even though you didn’t really feel like you were talking to a friend anymore. “It’s just…”

“You hate living with me.” He didn’t seem to care as he said the words.

“I like living with you,” You said. “Josh, you’re my best friend, of course I like living with you, I just need you to pitch in a little around here. I’m not your maid.”

“Then what am I paying you for?” He rolled his eyes again and went back to his show, completely missing the stricken look his words had left on your face.

You think you would have rather if he’d just hit you, because anything would have been better than that. “Josh…” You want to be mad, want to yell or scream or maybe throw something and then storm off, but you can’t.

So you turn to the pile of dishes that had pissed you off in the first place, quietly did your job and cleaned them before returning them to their proper place, then took refuge in your room.

He had warned you that living with him would be a job, and you had known that in some ways it would be, but this was not what you’d signed up for. Nonsensical arguments and needle-sharp insults were not what you were looking for.

Opening your laptop-- outdated and beat up, one of few possessions that were only yours-- and started to troll Craigslist for living situations. You just wanted to know your options.

You woke up hours later to the sound of Josh’s headboard hitting the wall. If you didn’t know him so well, you might have thought he was fucking someone, but you did know him. He was having a nightmare. A bad one that threw him around in his sleep as he chased after sisters that he would never catch.

You thought about waking him, but you weren’t sure if that was the right thing to do. Would he still be mad at you if you did? Fear kept you in your bed and you cuddled the heavy, fuzzy blanket Mrs. Washington had picked out for you, keeping a silent vigil while you waited for Josh’s sleep to calm.

Several minutes or hours later, you were tugged out of a foggy half-sleep when your door slid open.

Someone was standing in the doorway, framed in light from the hallway. You sat up, jolting fully awake in a disorienting second.

“Y/N! Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry I just--”

“What’s wrong?” Your voice was hoarse with sleep, but you were coming out of the fog and could hear his anxiety. “Are you okay?”

He glanced away. “I’m… I’m sorry I woke you up. You’ve never woken up before?”

“Before? What the hell are you talking about? Do you watch me sleep, because I’m really not into the Twilight shit and--”

“No! It’s not, I mean, I just… Can I come in?”

Slowly, you nodded and made room for him on your bed, tugging the comforter close and offering him the fuzzy blanket.

He took it, fiddling with it while he sorted out his words. “Sometimes I dream that I’m running after my sisters, that they’re getting lost in the woods and if I just run fast enough, I’ll find them and bring them home.”

You nodded again, wanting to reach for him and offer some kind of comfort but hesitating before you did.

“Sometimes I dream that it’s you. That you’re  running away and I need to find you before you’re gone forever too. I have to… when that happens I need to check and make sure you’re still here. That you didn’t vanish while I slept.”

“Oh, Josh…” This time you did reach for him, pulling him into an awkward sideways hug. “I’m still here.”

“Even though I’m an asshole?”

“Rephrase that,” You said.

He sighed. “Even though I treated you badly when you’d done nothing wrong. Is that better?”

“Yes, and yes, even though you were rude. I’m not going to leave in the middle of the night without saying anything, Josh. Even if the roommate thing doesn’t work out, I’ll say goodbye and leave like a normal person, because you’re my friend.”

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“And if you want,” You offered, pretty sure you were insane, “You can stay in here tonight.”

He nodded and fell against the pillows in your bed. “Thank you.”

After that, you made him promise to work on his emotion regulation with his therapist, because you loved him, but you weren’t going to let him take his feelings out on you. He agreed, and things did get better, even though he was still a bit of a slob and often needed to be reminded to pick up his shit.

You tolderated reminding him because he was making a genuine effort to be a better roommate in other ways. He brought dinner home and surprised you with coffee on days when you were working from home. He cleaned out the fridge and fixed the toilet when it started to make a weird noise.

He was far from the perfect roommate, but he was doing his best, and you made sure he knew that you appreciated it. At least now when he was upset he found a way to deal with it that wasn’t getting pissed at you.

So life went on, you worked and came home and things with Josh were normal and friendly, though you occasionally still squabled about random shit, as roommates are wont to do.

Everything was fine until the girl. She was fine. You were sure she was fine and that you were being crazy because of how much you hated her voice and her weird crooked smile and the way she always draped herself over josh like a blanket made out of leeches.

You considered yourself a feminist; this kind of random hatred for a woman you’d barely spoken to wasn’t like you. Still, this girl pissed you off, so whenever she was around, you hid in your room to stew while she and Josh did whatever it was they did.

They lasted three weeks before they broke up. The next girl lasted two. The next two made it nearly a month before the inevitable split. You disliked all of them, furiously refusing to identify the emotion as jealousy, though you weren’t dumb enough not to recognize it.

After the last breakup, Josh came home and threw himself down on the couch next to you. “Why can’t I do this, Y/N?”

“Do what?” You didn’t look up from your book. Hearing Josh complain about his relationships was your least favorite part of living with him.

“Date someone, be with them.” He sighed in frustration, burying his head in a blanket.

“Seems like you’re doing fine,” You said, thinking back over the string of beautiful, frustrating girls he’d brought home.

“Yeah until things start to get serious, then suddenly I can’t…”

“Can’t what?”

“I don’t know, it’s dumb.”

“What?” You repeated, trying to sound disengaged but interested nontheless.

“I can’t see them that way. It’s one thing if they’re a quick fuck, but then we’re together and I try to do stuff with them and all I want is to leave and be home with--”

He cut off and you closed your book, meeting his eyes. “Josh?”

“What?” He looked away, sounding like a petulant child.

“What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.”

“Josh--”

“You. I was going to say you, because whenever I spend time with them, I start thinking about how I’d rather be spending it with you, and that’s shitty so I break things off.”

“That is shitty,” You said mildly, not caring as much about those girls’ feelings as you should. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I know you don’t feel that way about me,” He said. “That’s why us living together works; because I’m the last person on earth you’d ever want to be with.”

“That isn’t--”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t pity me. You know everything about me, there’s no way anyone would know what you know, have seen me the way you’ve seen me, and still want… that.”

You thought about the night he’d come to stay in your room, curled up next to you and clinging to you because he was afraid that everyone he loved might disappear.

Everyone he loved.

“Josh…”

“Don’t. Just don’t say anything; I’ll get over it and I promise I’ll never bring it up again.”

“Josh, wait, I--” You cut off, not sure how to say what you needed to say. “I’m… I’m glad you couldn’t make things work with them. That’s pretty shitty too but it’s true. Don’t hate me for saying this, but you’re mine, Josh.”

“Yours?”

“Yes. Every time you brought one of them around here I wanted to kick her out, because you’re supposed to be mine and this place is ours and it’s just for us.”

“But--”

“Christ, what I’m trying to say is that I think maybe I love you, or at least I’m crazy enough to want to date you and see how things go. How does that sound?”

“It’s insane,” He said. “We’re friends, we could ruin-- Or, we live together, what if--”

You didn’t want to think about that so you lunged forward and kissed him.

He cradled your face for a moment before intensifying the kiss with a hand on the back of your neck. “Y/N, are you sure? There’s no going back from this.”

“We’ve been here for a while,” You said, “We were just lying to ourselves. If we’re going to ruin our friendship, I think it’s about time we got it over with.”

So you spent the night thoroughly ruining it, over and over again until you collapsed, exhausted onto your bed and fell asleep in his arms.