#i know I've got several other things going on but please just let me LIVE-

[periprose]

Hi! :)

I’m craving some Logan Howlett angsty fluff and I really like your writing style… Do you think you could maybe do a fic where either Logan and reader are in the heat of the moment and his claws come out and he scratches her. Or where Logan has a nightmare and the same thing happens. Either way the reader ends up comforting him.

Thank you! 🩷 :)

Hi!! So sorry for getting to this so late 🥹 loved the idea btw :) ended up doing a bit of a mix of both? If that makes sense.

/

"Out with it."

Your voice rings out clearly among the X-Men, the throng of battle no longer around you all. It was a more exhausting battle than you would've thought, but nothing irks you more than knowing that Logan has been apparently thinking of you as someone to play babysitter to. He hadn't trusted you to make your final blow to the enemy, and instead scooped you away to safety before lashing out with his own claws.

Logan clearly has something to say to you, and you want to hear it. You're not going to let him escape again- the way he always does, nonchalantly, refusing to acknowledge how he treats you.

Charles stiffens next to you in the helicarrier. Watching the tension, feeling the palpable heart-wrenching sensation between you and Logan. He doesn't know how you got to this point.

"Listen. Just because you didn't have it doesn't mean you're not a good X-Man-" Logan starts dismissively.

"But I did! I did have it!" You shout back at him, and then inhale carefully. "Nobody told you to rescue me, Logan. If I was about to die, then I was. I wanted that to be on my own terms."

"Don't talk like you're a fucking martyr when you've never had the privilege, kid." Logan's unnecessarily harsh tone has you flinching. "Do you know how many people I've seen die, for no good reason? Do you really want a bunch of Pentagon psychos to be your last memory?"

"Shut up." You shift in your seat, feeling small. "We don't get to choose when we die. Not like you."

Logan becomes visibly angered with that, the little taunt you've made towards his immortality. "That doesn't mean you have to go seek it out, dumbass."

"Oh really? Don't tell me you're getting soft, Logan." You glare at him, and Charles and Jean and Scott look at each other uncertainly. "Just because your life is so long doesn't mean the rest of us have forgotten what it means to be alive."

There's an unspoken, sudden charge in the air, now that you've mentioned what everyone else has the good sense to shut up about- Logan having lived so long and not caring about the consequences of his actions. Logan's eyes narrow until you feel sure that you've pushed him too far this time- he looks more animal than human, more Wolverine than ever- and you feel yourself inching forward, letting the anger of not being understood push you to fighting him- and Charles suddenly raises his hand in protest.

"Please, you two. I'm not sure what has transpired today, but I know you are better than choosing to have a physical altercation on a helicarrier flight." His calm, soothing tone makes you feel a little disappointed in yourself, and you settle back in your seat, refusing to meet his or Jean's glances of concern.

/

All you really wanted was an apology. A "Sorry, I won't do that again." Or even an explanation for why Logan keeps tabs on you all the time, never letting you be a real part of the X-Men, always safely on the sidelines. Were you just too weak?

Should you even be here?

You feel guilty for what you said to him. It's not a bad thing, you know, that Logan doesn't want you to get hurt- it's just that you want to do your job. You're not a kid.

It almost, almost justifies how you treated him, but even you know that was too far. You can't act as if you know Logan's life story- not even Charles or Jean would claim to do that, and they've searched his mind for memories several times.

Like it or not, the man was mysterious. He kept to himself on a lot of things, citing past hurt as his reason why- and you should've respected that.

"Maybe I am weak." You mutter to yourself, wondering why you can't restrain your emotions around Logan.

You're practicing shooting small, psionic blasts towards the target in your room- it's a great way to pass the time when you can't sleep- when you hear a groan, a shudder, an angry, deep growl-

It sounds like Logan. His room is right above yours, and the sounds are definitely coming from there- you hear him yell, and before you can stop yourself, you're bounding up the stairs to the third floor of the X-Mansion, bursting through his room's door with a ready hand, in case you need to fight.

/

Logan watches as you berate him in his dream.

Actually, it's not quite you- it's some venomous, evil, witch wearing your face. You giggle at him- you call him old- you don't take him seriously.

With every taunt, you fire another bright purple blast at him- and for once, his body doesn't heal instantaneously. He is getting old, getting hurt, watching as blood pools out of him. It's agonizingly painful.

He's going to die this time, without making it right with you- he's afraid that you're right about him, that he's a washed up sad old man who can't ever let people in.

"We don't need you anymore, Logan..." The not-you whispers softly, smiling a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes, and Logan can't help but believe it.

His self preservation instincts kick in, and he launches forward, snarling, claws out with a sharp snikt sound. He feels that even though he'll regret your death, he'll miss you immensely, it's just one more tally mark to several others.

/

"Logan. Logan!"

You're leaning over Logan's sweaty, clammy body in his bed. You watch as his hands fist in the sheets, and he tosses and turns in agony- you breathe in hesitation, in fear that he's not going to be okay- he grunts suddenly, and you're reminded of how Rogue tells you about his nightmares. They're frequent.

How out of touch could you have been today?

You gently-yet-firmly grab Logan's arm, shaking, and his arms move forward in a self-defense mechanism that seems practiced, as if he's been attacked in his sleep before, and before you can move away, there's a sharp snikt sound, a quick wave of claws, and a searing pain in your side.

It all happens before you can even blink. You fall off to the side, on the floor, writhing in pain. Logan's claws just nicked your side, it's essentially a scratch- but the pain is so much worse than you're expecting, and you fall to the floor again as you try to get up.

You breathe in harshly, holding back a sob, as you feel wet blood pooling through the side of your night dress.

"Jesus Christ." Logan pounces off the bed, waking to blood all over his claws, and he's leaning over your body, as you blink up at him hesitantly. He immediately panics, lifting you up and resting you on his squatted thighs. "Kid! Hey, kid, don't close your eyes-"

"..." You're just barely hanging on, but you listen.

And Logan feels that same sense of shame he felt when he attacked Rogue, when Jean "died", every single time he had accidentally unsheathed his claws towards someone who didn't deserve it.

Doubly so, considering it's like his terrible nightmare has come to life. But you absolutely didn't do anything wrong- he can't believe he was so angry with you.

He calls for help, in a slightly broken tone, and no one seems to be coming.

"Just a scratch." You try, but Logan shakes his head.

"No, no, no." Logan spits out. "How could I- I never meant to-"

"I'm sorry, Logan." You cough, and Logan feels awful that you're apologizing while bleeding out due to his actions. "I shouldn't have said what I said. You're not some unreliable old man who doesn't care..."

You flinch at a sudden, sharp pain, and Logan motions for you to stop talking, but you keep going.

"If anything, you're the opposite. You're there for me. And I'm sorry that I got so... so angry at you for that." You mutter to yourself, not aware of how Logan hangs onto your words. "You're protecting me from making mistakes, and I'm grateful."

"No, kid. You had a point before." Logan interjects, but you shake your head.

"Did I? Or was I being a brat?" You grimace at yourself.

"You did have a point. I was being selfish," Logan shakes his head and then swallows that urge to push you away. "I don't always know how to leave people well enough alone. Sometimes I'm too much."

He hesitates, and then continues on. "Like, I treat you as if you're a nuisance, right? But I always... I always want you next to me. And I know I should just sort my shit out like an adult. But I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Of what happens. What always happens." Logan sighs in defeat. "I fall in love, and they die. I find my people, and they leave me because I'm such a jackass. There's too much surrounding me that just... ruins everything."

"No, no. I won't leave." You tighten your hand around Logan's, and he, despite wanting to say that you're wounded because of him, believes you. He's so grateful to hear you say it- he had no idea that's what was weighing on him so badly.

He loves you, he knows he does. Logan has never been the best with feelings, but for once, he's glad he was honest.

The first thing Scott sees when he finally makes his way to Logan's room, from all the way across the X-Mansion, is Logan whispering "I'm sorry," and... he thinks (he's not 100% sure), "I love you," to your very forlorn, softly curved-around-him body.

It's a very tender moment, and Scott feels he should leave.

Then Logan presses a firm, shaky kiss on your forehead, and then your lips, and you, with your limited reserve of energy, kiss him back, and then Scott interjects with:

"Hey!...?"

He seems taken aback as you both look at him. "I heard screaming? What is this, some sort of weird cult sacrificial scenario?"

"Logan... had a... nightmare..." You wince, and Scott sees the red on your night gown. "I need... medical attention."

"On it." Scott glances at Logan for permission, and he's currently trying to push all these mushy feelings back into his chest where they belong, and he wants to be there to help you in the clinic, but he's flustered with everything that's happened and he can only hand you to Scott without looking at him.

Scott smirks to himself as he runs you to the clinic of the X-Mansion.

"You and Logan, huh? I knew there was something in that fight today." Scott remarks as you cling to him.

"It's taken an embarrassingly long time for me to figure it out, but yeah." You blush. "Has everyone else...?"

"Jean's been running a bet for the last year." Scott laughs. "She says you both are two sides of the same coin."

You can't help but agree.

[barcaatthemoon]

atlas || ingrid engen x mapi leon x reader ||

mapi and ingrid help you relax after a rough week.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

the physical and emotional weight of your workload was dragging you down. mapi was the first to realize it, and once she did, the first person she went to was ingrid. ingrid had a way of relaxing you that mapi knew she couldn't pull off. the woman had a tendency of being a little too energetic for that. however, it seemed that this time, ingrid couldn't really help you either.

they both hated it, but mapi and ingrid had no choice but to wait for all of you to be on a break to bring it up. a lot of things had been happening at barcelona, so you were very busy as social media director. your promotion had seemed like a blessing at first, especially since it meant that you could travel with your girlfriends everywhere that they went. however, all of that travel really cut into the time you had to organize everything else.

"i miss her," mapi sighed as she watched you fast asleep on the couch. it was obvious that you hadn't meant to fall asleep like that with your laptop and several notebooks open. you had been working, despite ingrid and mapi's insistence that you come with them out for the day. they had tried to have a good time, but mapi couldn't knowing that you were still in the apartment.

"it's been hard, especially on her. i mean, look at her," ingrid said as she nodded towards you. mapi let out a little whine as she looked at you. even in your sleep, the stress of your job was evident. they knew that this was temporary, mapi remembered when she first signed to barcelona years ago when you initially had been brought in as an intern. you always had a bit of a struggle starting out, but eventually, you'd find your footing.

"i could cry," mapi muttered quietly. ingrid had just barely heard her. if it was anybody other than you, ingrid would have been deleriously jealous of the way that mapi loved and cared for you. she knew that while mapi had been dating her for longer, you had been in her life longer. you were one of mapi's best friends first, and so, ingrid knew what to expect.

"we can let her sleep, and then do something special for her tonight," ingrid suggested. mapi nodded as she let ingrid pull her away from the living room. you slept the entire day away, waking up only when mapi physically picked you up and carried you into the dining room. you were still very tired as you ate, but the food did a lot to energize you a bit.

"what's the occasion?" you asked, not missing the way that both of your girlfriends were dressed up a bit more. mapi shrugged the question off as she tried to pretend that everything was normal. ingrid, however, was more than happy to give a reason for the little show.

"we are celebrating you, and all of the hard work you've been doing lately," ingrid said softly. she got up to carry your plate into the kitchen for you, kissing the top of your head as well as mapi's as she passed.

"i'm sorry if i haven't been very attentive," you apologized. mapi shook her head as she took your hands in hers. "i've been busy, and i know that you hate being left to your own devices. you need me too, not just the club."

"it's okay, i understand, i do. tonight, don't think about any of that. let ingrid and me take care of you, please bebita." if it wasn't for the way that mapi as looking at you, you might have gone back to your work for the night. "you've been working so hard."

"i'm so tired of it," you admitted. you sounded like you were on the verge of tears, so mapi did what she knew would help you calm down. she dropped your hands to grab your cheeks, pulling you in gently for a kiss. you kissed her back, moaning into it as you felt her deepen it. you sat forward in your seat, like you were prepared to crawl into her lap at any moment. the two of you could have kept going forever like that until ingrid interrupted you.

"come on, let's move this to the bedroom." ingrid guided the two of you away from the table. you broke the kiss with mapi once you were in ingrid's arms, turning your attention to her instead. ingrid picked you up and carried you into the bedroom, walking strong despite the kisses you were pressing to her neck. mapi followed behind ingrid, taking the opportunity to feel her up on the short walk to the bedroom.

ingrid laid you down on the bed gently, and mapi moved around her to get behind you. almost immediately, you could tell how the night would go. it was rare that they both focused solely on you, but you were grateful for the distraction. it wouldn't last forever, but they'd be taking a good amount of the weight of your work off from your shoulders from the night.

mapi's hands settled on your hips, squeezing gently as she peppered the side of your face in kisses. ingrid was laying between your legs, effectively pinning you against mapi's body as the two of them kissed you. it was a lot, but you were more than happy to just go along with whatever they wanted.

you trusted both women with your body completely. they knew the things that you liked, and sometimes, you swore they knew what you needed before you did. on your own, you would have tried to rush things, but they were taking things so slow with you. even mapi, who had a tendency to get a little ahead of herself in these situations.

they took their time undressing you and themselves. the feeling of their skin against yours made it hard for you to think. mapi could tell that you were having a hard time keeping up, so she backed away just enough for you to focus on ingrid. the taller woman kissed you slowly, but it wasn't without an almost overwhelming amount of emotion.

you didn't know how she did it, but ingrid always kissed you with her entire being. from every little peck as she left the apartment to the way she'd completely take your breath away. you swore that you could feel the love and concern ingrid had for you as she kissed you. it was enough for you to get a little lost in the feeling of her lips, but still gentle enough for you to easily slip away if you needed it. ingrid wouldn't judge you, knowing that occasionally you weren't up for this sort of thing when you were stressed.

"you look so pretty kissing ingrid," mapi whispered in your ear. she turned towards ingrid before she spoke up again, "you're taking such good care of our bebita, ingrid."

"i want more, please," you told them. mapi took that as her cue to come back a little more. her hands moved along your sides until you moved them onto your breasts. mapi's fingers teased your nipples as your hips ground against ingrid's thigh. ingrid bit her lip as she felt how wet you already were from just kissing them. it was going to be easy to get you to cum for the first time, and while ingrid wanted to spend all night between your legs, she wouldn't push you any further than what you could handle.

"do you want my fingers or my mouth, bebita?" ingrid asked you. she was usually adamant about not speaking spanish in the house, but that pet name had always stuck. technically, mapi had been calling you her bebita long before either of you had figured out your feelings for each other. ingrid remembered her hesitation about seeing mapi because of you, and in hindsight, she felt a little ridiculous about it now.

"mouth please," you answered. ingrid gave you one last kiss before she moved down to lay in between your legs. mapi turned your head towards her, pulling you into a gentle kiss as ingrid's hands came up to rest on the insides of your thighs.

unlike ingrid's kisses, mapi's rarely ever managed to stay as gentle as they started. the press of mapi's lips against yours quickly turned into something much firmer, not that you minded. you nipped at mapi's lip a little, which earned you a slightly rougher pinch to your nipple than before.

"mapi," ingrid warned. mapi's cheeks heated up at the warning. you bit your lip as she moved around your body to press a kiss to where she had just pinched you. ingrid watched as your hips bucked forward at the contact. she shot mapi a look, one urging for the tattooed woman to stay there until you pulled her back for more kisses.

"do you want this bebita?" mapi asked you. you could still feel enough of mapi's body behind you to feel safe and comfortable, but that need was quickly being replaced by the feel to feel both of their mouths on your body.

"please," you whined. mapi didn't need to be told twice, and she mvoed back in with her mouth at the same time as ingrid. mapi peppered your breasts with kisses as her fingers teased your nipples. ingrid's tongue was making lazy figure 8 motions in between your legs, just barely grazing along where you wanted her to. the two of them worked together well, almost perfectly in sync despite not having had to talk one another through anything.

"shh," mapi cooed softly as she lifted her head a little. the noises you were making quickly began to jumble together. you were whining and whimpering as you started to move more. ingrid didn't want to grab your hips and pin you down, so mapi took it upon herself to kiss you to calm you down. your nails scratched against the side of her face a little, but mapi didn't let it distract her from swallowing up every moan and whimper that threatened to escape from your lips. "you're doing so good, it's okay. let ingrid do her thing."

"fuck, fuck, fuck," you repeated again and again. mapi felt your body tense on top of hers, and that was when she knew you were gone. as loud as you could be while being fucked, you always went dead silent when you came. ingrid began to back away, stopping only when she heard you and mapi talking to each other. the little confessions of love after sex were secrectly mapi's favorite. if she was ever asked, you knew that she'd say something cocky about the way you looked cumming on her fingers or strap, but truthfully, she loved the way you curled into her as the two of you showered each other in love and adoration.

"rest now," ingrid said as she took the spot next to you on the bed. mapi slipped away to get something to clean you up with as you and ingrid lazily made out on the bed. you were so tired, enough so that you were ready to fall asleep right there in her arms. ingrid kept you awake and distracted enough for mapi to clean you up and pick out some clothes for all of you to wear to bed.

"thank you, i think i needed this," you mumbled against ingrid's chest. this time, ingrid laid in between you and mapi, both of you with your head resting against ingrid's chest. ingrid had one hand on mapi's back and the other in your hair, both of them scratching lightly. "i love you, both of you."

"we love you too," mapi told you. she reached over and twirled a strand of your hair around her finger.

"whenever you need us, don't hesitate to ask," ingrid said. you glanced up at her and smiled. you couldn't help it, there was rarely ever a time you could remember not smiling when you saw ingrid. "we'll always be here to take care of you, in whatever ways you need."

[ariaste]

I made a post a few days ago about how dire the hits-to-comments ratio is in this fandom and since then I have tried an experiment, got great results, and I am back to explain how we solve this problem as a community.

Several people made disheartened comments on the previous post about how consumer culture has finally made it to fandom (that is, people don't comment on fics as much any more because they're passive consumers of content rather than equal participants in fandom) but... I kind of think that part of this might be our responsibility as fic authors as well, and something that we as can do something about and take agency over. Because yeah, it's correct that commenting has gone down, but you know what I also don't see very much anymore??? People adding a note at the end of the fic saying "Comments give me life!" or "If you liked this fic, please let me know, a nice comment makes me smile all day" or "Comments keep me energized to write more, please let me know if you enjoyed this!" or "I would love to hear what you thought of this! :)"

The culture of a community is not something that people just know instinctively. It's something that has to be taught, just like manners and etiquette in any other context (you don't know the fish fork from the entree fork from the dessert fork until someone shows you, for example). The venn diagram of "the good old days of fandom when lots of people were in the habit of leaving comments" and "the bad old days when we had to humbly ask people to please comment if they liked it at the end of fics" is probably almost a circle. Yes, it's true that we are living in a society where we are being encouraged to be passive consumers of content and that this is probably leaking into fandom spaces. But the way that we start course-correct is to simply communicate clearly in public about what your needs and preferences are. Not in posts like this, because not everyone is going to see it and it will eventually disappear into the ether, and because one big essay isn't going to affect much change. Just... in small spaces where people will see it immediately when it's relevant, like in the end notes of your fic, or in the caption/description under your fanart post. It is not a bad thing to tell people that you like comments. You are not vain or arrogant for wanting engagement and appreciation for something you made out of love and enthusiasm, you are HUMAN. It is not a bad thing to communicate your needs. And oftentimes it is way more effective than you realize until you have actual data to back it up, like the data I'm looking at right now for this fic.

I made one change on the most recent chapter, and that was to put this at the end:

LISTEN TO ME REAL QUICK HERE, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. This fandom has the worst comments-to-hits ratios on fics that I've ever seen. That sucks. Comments are part of a healthy fandom ecosystem, and I can't tell you how many unexpected friends I've made just by telling them I liked their fic. If you don't feel like leaving a comment on this fic, that's okay with me. But you have to PROMISE that you'll leave one on the next three IWTV fics you read, ok? Give our authors some love so they'll keep writing. It'd be a really, really long hiatus until s3 without them.

Since posting this, I can only describe the state of my inbox as, "Oh, THAT'S more like it, there we go, much better!" So... try it out? Tell people that their thoughts and comments are welcome? Remind them that this is a good thing to be doing? It's not going to make everyone comment, but I bet it'll make at least a little bit of a positive difference, and the more people start doing it, the faster we'll inch ourselves back to a thriving and healthy fandom ecology. :)

Rome wasn't built in a day, and culture has to be taught, and the best and happiest kinds of communities grow when the participants are aware and intentional about it.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

i've been having a couple of downer days recently, and i kept looking for a verse i haven't read thrice yet for some comfort, but you're age! gap verse has been a pleasant escape even though its not what i was looking for. you're writing never fails to make me feel better ari 💕💕

Here's how they met 💜

Bruce sighed. He was starting to hate talk show appearances, but at least this one had never been too bad. Angelique was chatty and fun but not grating. Her show ran as school let out. So grannies watched after their naps and kids watched getting off the bus. She ran a little something for everyone.

He assumed he was here for the grannies.

"I'm so sorry I'm late the shoot ran over and I couldn't get away."

The voice caught his attention. Not the fake starlet over dramatic gushing, but genuine distress. And he half turned to look. You looked like you came from a shoot. Straight off the pages of a glossy magazine.

"No worries, Miss Y/L/N we got your call in enough time. We'll just touch up your face and you'll be good to go," the manager greeting you, said.

Bruce smiled a little. Clearly, you were a frequent guest. You thanked him profusely and trotted off. Not needing to be told where to go. And as you go, there's several crew members you can greet by name. You've either been here a lot or worked with them before. Or both. But, it's endearing.

He turned back around listening to Angelique get her updates on where production was. "-And Y/N is in hair and makeup as we speak."

"Oh, bless her heart," Angelique said. "That's what I get calling her last minute." She turned to Bruce and held out her hand, "Are you ready?" she asked.

"As I'll ever be," he chuckled taking her hand, "You know these sorts of things aren't my forte. My oldest on the other hand-"

"Don't you worry about a thing," Angelique reassured him, patting the hand she was holding before letting it go. "Y/N is an old pro- Ah! speak of the devil!" She swooped over and kissed you on either cheek. "You look absolutely divine, is that one of yours?"

"You know it is," you tell her laughing, returning the gesture. "As if I could walk in and NOT wear my own design, you'd never let me live it down."

"So true. Darling," she said grabbing your hand and pulling you over to Bruce, "I want you to meet Bruce. You'll be on stage together today. You know it's charity week and I though it would be great to highlight all the work you do for school arts programs along side the Wayne foundation," she said.

"Hello," you tell him, holding out your hand.

"Pleased to meet you," he said, taking the hand you offered warmly. Giving you his most charming smile. You did look good. And he could tell they hadn't done much to your face or your hair. "I'm a big fan of your work," he commented.

Your smile didn't falter but your eyes narrowed slightly. And Bruce cringed internally Shit. She thinks I mean the Playboy spread, he thought. "Your last movie, the drama, especially. The range of emotion and the depth- It really was incredible."

"Thank you," you tell him. "It was challenging but I really enjoyed it."

Bruce felt his face heat when Angelique coughed and he remembered hearing that you had the ability to make someone feel like they were the only person in the room. He'd forgotten for just a second. In just that brief moment that he was waiting for an appearance. "It showed I uh- my kids made fun of me when I cried at the end-"

"Aww, Angelique gushed, "This is amazing. you guys keep up this chemistry. It'll go totally viral." She bounced on the balls of her feet and kissed your cheek again, "I'll have someone bring you a coffee, sweetie. You're going to start wilting soon."

And before you could say anything or Bruce could offer to go and get it for you himself, Angelique had bustled off to find and assistant to give marching orders to.

[ninthskzmember]

Sharing is Caring. Bonus part IV

Kim Seungmin x reader (pt 1) (pt 2) (pt 3)

IT'S HERE! FINALLY HERE! warnings: whole lot of smut. also, fluff. not proofread. word count: 2,7k note: I thought I wrote this for myself because 2min lives in my brain rent free but a few of you requesed it too, so here it is! ALSO! i'm fucking in love with Seungmin so expect that in there too. i'm sorry this took so long but I've been studying. hope you enjoy!

requests are open!

As nervous as you were the first time you were going to get intimate with Minho, times two.

There is just something about Kim Seungmin that low-key drives you insane—something about his energy, his aura, his expressions.

It took a whole lot from you to convince your boyfriend to let you do this. A whole lot of blowjobs, handjobs, and a lot of his cum.

That and the few times you let slip Seungmin's name on purpose while he was edging you. It started as an actual mistake, but the moment you felt his dick twitch because you said that name instead of his, you took advantage of it.

This time it was different; Minho refused to talk with his younger member to be with his girlfriend, so you had to go and take business in your own hands.

But you wouldn't. You couldn't just go to Seungmin and tell him, 'Hey, wanna fuck?' because you knew he would not do that to his hyung, especially not that hyung. So, it took several days to come to plan.

First, it was through a truth or dare game that you made it clear that you and your partner like to experience new things—ignoring the fact that Chris automatically turned red. Then, it was the physical reaction Seungmin had to you while dancing at the club with the group. You were looking for it, and you got it, but he excused himself right away and left for the bathroom.

Minho silently followed him and told you that Seungmin just washed his face a bit and wetted his neck too, not saying a word about anything.

And the final step, Chan took for you. Another truth or dare game before one of the shows, where you begged Chris to ask Seungmin for you because he just made you so nervous you couldn't even think about saying anything about your plan to him.

”Seungmin, truth or dare?"

"Dare." He shortly answered.

"You can't choose dare; you already did." Chan laughed, and his eyes fell on you. You were visibly anxious, and your boyfriend was playing with your hand, trying to get your attention.

"Okay, then truth."

"Would you join the freaky couple in the bedroom if they asked you to?" Chan just shot, and both of your ears became red.

"What…" He let out a confused laugh and smile, observing how the three of you were waiting for an answer.

"We're not freaky," Lee Know tried to defend you two, and even you turned to look at him confused.

"From what I've heard, yes." He completely ignored his other hyung while looking at Chan.

"You've heard us?" You blinked a few times.

"Yeah, you're not that quiet, honey," he said, laughing a bit.

"I've got to work harder to keep her quiet, huh?"

"Oh, baby, oh, y/n." Seungmin started teasing, "You're my fucking slut and only mine."

"That's not me."

"That's definitely you," you laughed.

[…]

You knew. You knew what Seungmin liked, and you worked hard to please him.

You were just sitting in your bed, daydreaming about how the night would go, daydreaming if Minho would join you both or not, because this time, there were no conditions.

Minho likes to watch, but he is free to join if he wants to. And you just got wet at the thought of your man guiding his group member to please you just the way you like.

You heard two pairs of footsteps coming to the door. Your boyfriend's silhouette appeared when he opened the door, and behind him, Seungmin walked in.

"Seungmin, I want you to know that she wanted this. I'm just watching." Your boyfriend took a seat on the legendary couch, where he was at the time you had sex with Chan. "Also, Chan Hyung made a mess with her; I hope you can get her to be even messier."

Not another word was said; Seungmin took a look at you.

Lilac little dress, not showing anything but suggesting everything. Your makeup is prettily done, knowing exactly how it wouldn't last for long like that.

He took a few steps to you, but you couldn't bring yourself to look him in the eye, so he took your chin, making you look up

"So you're all shy now?" He smiled, kinda making fun of you "You made this whole deal and now you're acting shy?" the way he was talking to you was so sweet yet so sour.

"C'mon love, you've been moaning his name for a while now, go ahead and do what you're good at doing"

"Oh, so, my name?"

"You're the one who's more alike to Minho personality wise, it makes sense to me" you defended yourself

"Why did you let Chan hyung fuck you first?" he asked

"Let's say... Min kind of gaslit me into that..."

"Yeah, as if you didn't fucking squirt all over my dick when I pronunced hyung's name" he attacked back and the younger man leaned his head as a pup, still making eye contact with you.

"Min" you looked at your boyfriend

"Ok, alright" he sighted "Do something, you're making me bored" he manspreaded on the couch and lightly touched himself above his trousers.

The second you turned back to look at Seungmin, his lips were already on yours, tasting you for the first time.

Neither Chan or your own boyfriend were bad kissers, none at all, but Seungmin was something else; his lips were not as soft as Chris's, he was tougher, like he was starving. Starving the taste of your lips, of your tongue, of your spit.

It made you wonder how many times has he fantasied about this, how many times has he touched himself at the sound and thought of Minho and you having sex.

A little whimper exited his mouth when you brought your body closer to his, crashing softly with the tent on his pants.

You moved your hands towards Seungmin's head, caressing his hair and taking advantage of it to deepen de kiss, if it was possible.

"I'll make you moan my name myself. You won't forget it" he whispered on top of your lips when both pulled away a bit to breathe. His words travelled directly to your pussy, feeling the wetness come out unannounced.

"Please do, puppy" you teased.

He grabbed you from your thighs and raised you in the air, making you wrap your legs around his hips. Made his way to lay you on the bed, the same bed his two older hyungs fucked you in before.

He passed his kisses to your jaw and neck, leaving there soft and sweet ones, and just in the moment you thought nothing about, he nailed his teeth into you. Not strong enough to scare you but enough to make you bite your lower lip; your legs still wrapped around him, making him closer to you at the action that he did.

"What's going on, sweety? So needy for me already?" He caressed your face at his words, and such action made you blush slightly.

"If you don't take the clothes off, she will indeed stain them" Minho spoke again but there was not feedback from either of you, just a small chuckle from Seungmin.

"You look gorgeous with that dress. I bet you look better without it" proceeding to unbutton the front of the piece, smiling while looking at you.

"You're making me shy, this is not what it was supposed to be" you said while hiding your face in your hands

"Hey, don't do that" he took your wrists and pinned them to each side of your head "Seems like you need to be reminded how pretty you are"

Seungmin took it off, letting your pink lingerie be seen. He smiled, taking your hand and observing your nais. Your pink sharp almond nails that matched your underwear, with a Hello Kitty sticker in the middle one.

"You got all ready for me, beautiful" he bitted his lip "You know what I like"

Seungmin took his clothes off, only leaving his black boxer on.

He was not as fit as Chan and or your boyfriend, but oh hell, did he look good without any clothes on... His shoulders, his tummy, his arms, his legs, everything about him was turning you on.

The man took place on top of you, grinding his cock into you, smiling at the feeling.

"I've been wanting to do this since you fucking pressed your ass against my cock that night" he said

"It's been longer since I've been wanting to fuck you"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes"

"Since when?"

"Since you've got that fucking blonde mullet on" you moved your hips to his rythm

"You like it?"

"I fucking love it" You reached your hand to his hair, messing it up while he smiled brightly, as if you were petting a dog.

He imitated your movement, but downwards, stimulating your clit, looking for a moan from you, which he got and realized how pretty his name sounded on your horny mouth.

You took his wrist and started moving as you liked. He stopped you with his other hand, and inserting frist one finger in, hearing that beautiful sound from you again. Then, there were two of them inside of you, while you were desperately to fuck yourself into his hand.

"So wet already, love" he pecked you "Would you like my dick deep inside of you?" he asked before kissing your neck softly

"Yes Minnie, please" your answer was breathless, and you followed his movements with your desesperate eyes.

He took his boxer off, letting you see the most fucking perfect penis you've actually seen. Porn directors would a hundred percent want him in their movies.

Your soaked panties left your body just as your bra did, and after a few seconds, the younger in the room was penetrating you.

"Wait Seungmin, wait wait wait wait" You stopped him with your hand on his abs when he was midway inside.

"What? What's wrong?" His eyes exposed that he was about to freak out, thinking that he hurt you.

"I'm gonna cum" you breathed deeply in and out, trying to calm down

"After so little foreplay?" He smiled "please do, puppy" he teased this time, while going down on your neck with wet kisses

"I want to feel you all the way in before. Dick feels so good, so warm, so fucking amazing" after the words left your mouth, you felt his dick twitch inside of you. His lips formed the brightest smile and went back to kiss yours.

"I swear I want to go full in" he said in between kisses "you're so tight I'm scared to hurt you"

"You can go now" you informed and he resumed his way inside your pussy as your back arched into the mattress.

"You like that?" He smiled "You like the feeling of my dick opening you up, don't you?"

"Oh god, yes" you left your head fall backwards

"You're so pretty, y/n" he praised "You look so pretty, I'd fuck you anytime. I promise next time you grind your ass against my cock in the club, I'm fucking you right in the bathroom stall"

You didn't answer, immerse in the feeling of pleasure he was giving you

"You heard me?" He asked in sync with hitting your cervix

"Oh god, yes pup, I did!" you screamed

"That's good" he started moving in and out in a slow peace, enjoying every moment of feeling your clenched walls around him.

"Min more, please" you moved your hips "Can I come? I've been holding it just to feel you, please pup" you whined

"You're so good, y/ninnie" he pushed deep inside of you, hitting your cervix again "Of course you can come, it's the first of many tonight" he whispered in your ear and rushed his motions, making your boobs jump up and down, catching them with his hands; one each.

"Oh Minnie is this feels so good" your moans being at the rhythm of the sound of his thrusts turned Seungmin on so much he had to stop for a minute, making you whine pet naming him.

The next second his face in between your thighs, making you see blurry with his mouth only. You reached his hair and pulled his hair with force while you came all over his mouth, and he happily taking your fluids.

"You're so yummy, babe" he said going in for a kiss to make you taste your own arousal.

You moaned in his mouth while sucking his tongue clean.

"Sit."

He obeyed without any other word, taking a seat on the bed.

Didn't ever got on your knees and your mouth was already watery at the sight of his pinky cock, reaching for it with it.

"You've got a pretty dick, did I tell you that?" You licked the tip, hearing what you could swear it was the prettiest sound that came out of Seungmin's mouth; and that's a lot to say being the singer he is.

His whines were so comforting you wanted to keep him like that for a while. Got him deeper inside your mouth while sucking and gagging around his tip when it went to the back of your throat.

"The best head I've ever had" You smiled with him inside your mouth, your ego was at it's best; it's nice to hear it from someone else.

You took him so deep that your nose was touching his belly, and with your peripheral view, you saw how his grip tightened on the sheets along with a whimper that turned your inside on fire again.

"Kim Seungmin, you're turning even me on with those" Your boyfriend protested and you couldn't help but laugh, making the boy cum from the extra stimulation of your vocal chords opening and closing.

You choked on his cum, coughing and even it coming out of your nose.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Seungmin took you in his arms and sitted you right where he was before "I reall didn't expect to cum"

"It's okay, It's okay" you conforted him "I just need some water"

"Here" he handed you a bottle from the little table, caressing your arm while you drank the liquid. "I'm sorry, honey"

"It's okay" you smiled and caressed his cheek

"Can I make it up to you?" he used his puppy eyes against you, and you couldn't resist it one bit, taking him close to you and kissing his lips; he slowly laid you down, not breaking away from you.

He grabbed your boobs and squeezed them softly, making you moan softly, wrapping your legs around his hips.

The kiss broke away when you both needed to breathe, and Seungmin took advantage of it, attaching his forhead with yours while softly thrusting inside of your pussy again.

Slowly fucking you missionary, his lenght felt like heaven and once again, made you feel close fast.

"Min, I'm close, but I want you to keep fucking me, please" your back now arched into the matress again.

"Whatever the princess wants, princess gets" he became rougher with his movements, but never too much. Hands caressing your cheeks as he kept going.

Yes, he was completely different from what you thought he was going to be. You thought he'd be rough, mean and sassy, but it was a nice surprise to know that he's so loving and sweet when fucking.

"Oh, right there babe" you whimpered and he repeated his movements for a while, making you cum around his dick, and still fucking you through your high.

Your moans were messy, high pitched as always, and the overstimulation made you hit multiples orgasms at once.

You clenched so hard around Seungmin that he came again, being overstimulated too, filling you up so much that both of your thights were covered in your juices and his cum.

Your moans were unintentionally harmonizing, and neither of you could ―or wanted― to stop.

When he could and went over to pull out, you stopped him.

"Stop, Seung. Come here, stay there for a while" you took him by his shoulders and hugged him withouth disconnecting your genitals.

"We're definetely having a talk later" Your boyfriend reappered on your mind when he spoke.

You forgot about that part.

[loudclan-clangen]

Hey there!

Checking out Loudclan? That's great! Thanks so much!

Loudclan was originally planned to be drawn as I played the game like most other clangen blogs... Then I got frustrated about how slow it was moving and played ahead. Just a little bit, nothing to worry about, only about 1000 moons. So this blog should be running for A WHILE. I also take pretty big liberties with the designs and events. I think it's more interesting that way! Also it's been several real life months since I started playing and some things I just... forgot. Or lost. Either way, it's fun to stretch my creative skills.

As for the mechanics of the blog:

General Content Warnings Include:

Death, Animal Death, (Cat Death specifically), Death in Childbirth, Violence, Murder, Illness, Gore, Grooming, Abuse, Bad Parenting, Cheating, Affairs, Drama, Cursing, Language, Dirty Jokes, ECT. (if i missed something please let me know)

Updates are not going to be on a consistent schedule... ever. I'm a college student. I just don't have the time or energy.

The style is going to vary wildly. It's been years since I've consistently drawn cats and I wasn't ever really happy with the way I did it back then anyway. Come along for the ride with me! I'm just as surprised by what my hands create as you guys!

Overview:

Loudclan is set in a fictional location that is based on South Central Alaska. A group of rogues fled up the mountains to get away from the deep snows of the valleys at the beginning of a particularly harsh winter. The clan follows three "Leaders" in the form of the Leader, the Lead Healer, and the Lead Mediator. These leaders will each pass their position on to their oldest heir, the closest related member of their direct family. Issues regarding what happens when two cats have similar claims have yet to be sorted out by the clan, and may never be fully decided... *insert mysterious foreshadowing sounds*

If you are interested in more of a deep dive into the lore check out this post: Lore, or anything tagged #loudclanlore .

Want to see a list of all of the Loudclan cats? Go here: Allegiances.

Asks are welcome! I will do my best to answer them quickly and efficiently! I am happy to talk about characters, art, process, gameplay, pretty much anything. (I probably won't be showing sprites though, just because I've played ahead so far and a not insignificant amount of them are just... gone. Lost to the ether. Sacrificed so that my laptop could keep running the game.) All asks are tagged #loudclanasks .

Also fanart/writing/edits are more than welcome! You guys are so cool and talented and I am honored that you would want to make something based on my dumb little pixel cats. Referencing or imitating my style/designs/layout is absolutely allowed, just make sure to mention me so I don't miss them! All fan contributions are tagged #loudclanfan .

I will never complain about anyone "blowing up my notifications" or spam liking. I think it's so neat to see people go through the blog liking as they go. Don't worry about it. I enjoy seeing you enjoy my work!

A little bit about me, you can call me "D"! I use any pronouns, I'm pretty ambivalent about them but the majority of people use she/her for me and I'm fine with that. I'm 20, I live most of the time in Alaska and part time on a ranch in Texas and I'm working on my BA in Elementary Education. I started reading Warriors in 2nd Grade and stopped in 6th Grade but the brain worms never die. If you know me in real life no you don't: It took me all of high school to kill the furry allegations I'm not going through that again. Oh, and my main blog is @restinginpiecesofpizza but warning, there's spoilers for Owlstar's family tree for like 8 generations posted on there.

If you think Loudclan's cool and want to help me out consider checking out my RedBubble!

Anyway, thanks for checking out my blog! I hope you enjoy!

[redroomreflections]

The Case of the Ex

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha and R meet one of R's exes in an unlikely place

The Loud House universe

General Masterlist

note: no angst. just more glimpses into their lives before the move to ohio

w/c: 3.2k

As you pulled into the parking lot of the doctor’s office, you only had one message for the children.

"Alright, everyone, listen up," Natasha began, her voice firm but gentle. "We need you all to behave while we're here. That means no running, no yelling, and no fighting."

You nodded in agreement. "This is important. We don't want to cause any trouble or disturb other families. So please, be on your best behavior."

Cara rolled her eyes. "This is so stupid," she muttered under her breath.

Natasha shot her a look. "Cara, we're serious. Just because you're older doesn't mean you can act out."

Cara huffed but didn't argue further.

As you got out of the car, Charlie and James immediately started fighting over who got to hold Natasha's hand.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. How about I hold your hands?" You quickly intervened, taking each of their hands in yours.

"It's not fair that James always gets what he wants because he's the only boy," Charlie frowned.

"That doesn't make sense, Luke is literally right there," Cara rolled her eyes. The baby boy in question, Luke, was peacefully sitting in his car seat as he waited patiently for Natasha to open his stroller.

"I'm talking about my age, not Luke's."

"It's fine," Natasha sighs. With everyone ready you walk into the office. It's fairly empty save for a few families so you have enough room to maneuver with yours. Natasha finds a row of seats in the back of the room, closer to the bathroom and the toys, and she parks Luke's stroller there.

The kids all sit on the floor and begin playing with the blocks while you go up to the receptionist to check you in.

"Hello, I'm checking in for the Romanoff family, we have several appointments today for 9 am," You sign yourself in.

"Okay, Mrs. Romanoff, just fill out these forms for me and I'll get you checked in," the receptionist smiles. "Also, as a heads up, your normal doctor Horton is out on sabattical for a few months. Your physician for the time being is Dr. Whitlock. She's really good. So you have nothing to worry about."

"Great, thank you," You smile before heading back to where the kids are playing. Natasha is still seated, scrolling through her phone while keeping an eye on the children.

"Did they tell you our doctor is out for a few months?" You inform her.

Natasha looks up from her phone. "Really? Why?"

"Just on sabbatical. But our doctor's replacement is apparently really good, so there's no need to worry." You skim through the paperwork you have to fill out. All updates and things for the children that the doctor's need to know.

"Alright, well that's good. As long as they're competent."

"They're a pediatrician, I think they have to be."

"You'd be surprised," Natasha mutters. "Maybe we can go for ice cream after."

"If they need to get shots today, make sure my ice cream is spiked," You joke.

Natasha cracks a smile at that. "Well, if they get their shots without crying or whining, we can consider it.”

"That sounds good," You agree.

"Mom, can you order me this?" Cara asks as she passes you her phone. She's on a shoe website and has pulled up a ridiculously expensive pair of shoes.

"Absolutely not," You shake your head.

"Oh come on," Cara groans. "I've been saving my allowance for it."

"You don't need $700 shoes," Natasha cuts in. "Especially ones that look like someone puked all over them."

Cara rolls her eyes and returns to her phone. “Not like Mom doesn’t have the same priced shoes in her closet.”

"James, don't you dare throw that block at Charlie," You call out. James looks sheepish as he lowers the block back onto the ground.

"Mama, I have to potty," Paige stands. She does a little dance, crossing her legs one over the other, before she points to the bathroom.

"Alright, let's go," You stand, holding out your hand.

"Mommy, can I go too?" Charlie stands, reaching for your hand.

"Yes, come on." You lead the two to the restroom and wait outside of the stalls. As you stand there, you can't help but let your mind wander to the last time you were here. The last time you brought the children here, Charlie had bit one of the staff and James had refused his shots. Not a fun time for you. It ended with a lot of begging on your part to be able to bring them back. Hopefully this time is different.

"Mommy, can you help wipe my butt?" Paige yells out.

You roll your eyes. The joys of motherhood. "Just a minute!" You call back. You step into the bathroom, seeing Charlie at the sink, checking herself out. "Charlie, wash your hands. Don't forget to sing the Happy Birthday song twice."

"Yes, Mommy," Charlie responds. She turns the faucet on, lathering her hands up.

"Mommy, help," Paige reminds you.

You make your way to the stalls and help Paige get off the toilet and clean up. She washes her hands in the sink before you lead her back out into the waiting room.

"I'm tired," Paige rubs her eyes.

"Come on, sweetheart. Lay your head in my lap." You position yourself to hold her in your lap.

"Mommy, can I have water?"

"If this doctor doesn't come soon," Natasha sighs. Luke was becoming frustrated with being in his stroller and not being able to crawl around. He began to fuss. "Luke, it's alright. We'll go home soon."

"I'll take him," Cara offers. Which leaves you genuinely surprised. Lately she's not wanted anything to do with her siblings.

"Thanks," Natasha hands him off to her.

Luke leans his head back, observing his older sister. He grabs her face, making her smile.

"He's so cute when he's not screaming his head off," Cara grins.

"Aren't they all," Natasha chuckles.

"Romanoff Family," The medical assistant calls out into the waiting room. All eyes are on you as you take your slightly rowdy bunch and head to the back. "Good morning, first we're going to take height and weight for each of the children. Who wants to go first?"

"I can," Cara volunteers.

"Perfect, step up here," the assistant instructs. Cara steps onto the scale, avoiding observing the number, before she steps over to take her height. "157 cms."

"What does that mean?" James questions.

"She's short," Charlie whispers.

Cara shoots her a look.

"Alright, Cara, you can step off. Now who's next?"

"Can I do it?" Charlie raises her hand. "I know I've grown a few inches."

"Of course," the assistant chuckles. Charlie steps onto the scale and then takes her height.

"147 cms," the medical assistant smiles.

"What about me?" James raises his hand.

Eventually everyone has their heights and weights taken. Then you're directed to a big room that magically fits all of you. You sit with Luke in your lap, Natasha with Paige in hers, and Cara shares a seat with Charlie. James is the first up with his legs swinging as he sits on the examination table.

"So far, with these wait times this doctor isn't getting on my good side," Natasha mutters.

"I'm sure there are more pressing matters than the Brady Bunch's checkups," You reply.

There's a knock at the door, and the first thing you see is brown hair with blonde highlights. That familiar chin and hazel brown eyes belong to none other than Melinda Whitlock. Melinda stands at an average height with a lean, athletic build, exuding a casual yet polished style. Never in a million years did you think you would see your ex-fiancé standing here in the same room as you. Okay, sure the last name aligns. You still have some of the same social circle so of course you knew she was a doctor.

"Hi," She smiles politely. "I'm Dr. Whitlock, you can call me Melinda. It's nice to meet you." She briefly glances around the room before stepping over to the sink to wash her hands. "Sorry about the long wait time. I had a patient puke all over me. The smell's mostly gone but..."

"Uh...you too," Natasha says slowly, taking note of the way your jaw hangs slightly open. You quickly snap out of your surprise to greet her.

“Hi, Melinda,” You speak softly. Hopefully you don’t sound too excited. Not that you are excited. You’re just surprised. Surprised is good. Surprised is neutral. Surprised won’t get you into trouble with your wife. Though by the look on Natasha’s face she’s not as happy about this “surprise”. 

"Oh, wow, y/n?" Melina greets. She looks around at all of the children and back to you and Natasha.

"Surprise?" You say sheepishly.

"I didn't know it was you," Melinda looks down at her tablet to check the charts. "I didn't make the connection. That's funny. How are you guys?"

"Uh, we're good," Natasha nods.

"How's...uh...your mom?" Melinda begins. "Hi, you must be James. I'm just going to check a few things for you. I'm Melinda."

"Oh, she's great," You answer. "Still working at the library in her free time."

"That's great," Melinda smiles. "So, how have the children been?"

"Uh, they're good," You nod. "No allergies or anything to speak of."

"Cough for me, James," Melinda instructs. From beside you, you can see Cara trying to connect the dots about your connection with this other woman. She can see the uncomfortable look on Natasha's face and then her eyes wide.

"Mama," Cara whispers. "Mom." She reaches over to tap Natasha. "Is that mom's ex? The one you talked about?"

"Yep, that's her," Natasha whispers back.

"She's cute," Cara smirks. "I can see Mom kind of has a type. Short and hot."

Natasha shoots her a warning look. "Don't even."

Melinda's attention remains on James though you swear you could see a smirk on her face.

"Hey, I didn't see you guys' last month for the annual," Melinda says, glancing at her tablet again. "James seems to be a healthy five-year-old. How are his eating habits?"

"Oh, uh, he eats well," You nod. "We were kind of busy. You know my job as ADA keeps the schedule pretty packed." You unconsciously fix your shirt, hoping there's no leftover baby food or puke. Natasha narrows her eyes.

"Good," Melinda smiles. She pulls her gloves off and throws them in the trash. She picks off a new pair before choosing another child.

"Charlie," Melinda gestures to her.

Charlie climbs onto the examination table.

"Do you mind lifting your shirt up for me? Just to make sure nothing's changed since the last time you were here," Melinda requests.

"Okay," Charlie nods, pulling her shirt up.

"Does she always look at people's belly buttons?" Cara frowns.

"It's because Charlie has an outie," James provides for his sister.

"Oh." Cara nods. "So does she have to get that checked every time?"

"I'll be quick, Charlie," Melinda reassures.

Charlie nods.

"Alright, I think everything looks good," Melinda smiles. "Most umbilical hernias are harmless. Is it causing you any pain?"

"Nope," Charlie replies.

"No constipation?"

"No, I poop everyday."

"Well, that's good," Melinda chuckles. "There is a surgical procedure that she's of age to receive now. If that's something of interest to you."

"Not right now," You shake your head. "Charlie, you can put your shirt down."

"Can I get down, Mama?" Charlie asks.

"Yeah, sweetie," Natasha replies.

"So, do you have a wife, Dr. Whitlock?" Cara clears her throat. Leave it to your fifteen-year-old to snoop.

"Oh, well, no," Melinda laughs. She's a little startled by the questions. "I'm a widow."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Natasha says. "My condolences." You’d heard about it when it happened but didn’t reach out besides words of sympathy. 

"It's fine. My wife died a few years ago." Melinda shrugs. "It's just me and my dog now."

"What kind of dog?" Paige inquiries. "So you live all alone?"

"Uh, yeah. She's a German Shepard named Lola." Melinda inputs something into her chart.

"That's nice. What's her favorite treat? We love dogs too," Charlie replies.

"Charlie, you can sit over here," Natasha cuts in, gesturing to the spot beside her.

"We had a dog," James pipes up. "But she ran away. We never found her." Melinda eyes the two of you for confirmation.

"Well, I accidentally left the gate open," You muster up the courage to confess. "She was always a flighty little thing. She wasn't really our dog. It was Natasha's sister's dog."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sure your sister wasn't very happy," Melinda frowns. "You always were a little forgetful."

"Mom? Forgetful?" Cara looks at you incredulously.

"Oh, well, you know. There's a lot on my plate," You defend.

"Of course, I understand," Melinda agrees. "I mean, when we were together you would forget a date, we had all the time."

"What date was that?" Cara smirked. She was loving this right now.

"Uh, our anniversary," Melinda replies.

"Oh, wait tell me more," Cara nods.

"Actually, by the looks I'm getting I think we should keep this professional," Melina excuses herself to check a few things. "Paige, it's your turn." She directs to the three year old.

Paige gets up from her seat, walking over to the doctor.

"I don't want any shots today. Okay?" Paige protests.

"I can't promise that," Melinda offers. "But we do have delicious lollipops for after. Would that appease you?"

"Hm...okay," Paige gives in. "You better be quick. Mommy says you should always be quick."

"I'll try my best," Melinda takes her stethoscope to listen to Paige's heart and lungs. "She has a healthy set of lungs. Breathing seems normal."

"So far so good," Natasha sighs.

"So, what are we looking at for shots today?" You ask, hoping the worst is over.

"Hm, it doesn't look like the children had them last round," Melinda continues. "I'll have a medical assistant come in soon. I just need to check out baby boy over here." Melinda gestures for you to bring Luke over to the examination table. You remain holding onto him as he finds curiosity in Melinda and her tools. He drools all over her hand when she checks his teeth. Then his ears.

"Oh, well, he's not fussy," Melinda chuckles. She turns back to her tablet, writing a few things down. "He looks healthy and is up to date on all his shots. Have you introduced solids to him yet?"

"Just a little bit. He's getting more and more every week," You explain.

"Alright. Sounds good. Is he sleeping okay?"

"Yep. Most nights, anyways. We're lucky if we can get through the night without a wake up." You smile.

"He'll get better with time," She nods. "Now, for the final child. The big one, Cara, right?"

"That's me," Cara gets up from her seat and hops onto the examination table.

"Cara, how old are you again?" Melinda asks.

"I just turned fifteen."

"Do you participate in any sports or physical activites?" Melinda goes down the list of questions she has to ask.

"I run track and field, soccer, and sometimes dance," Cara provides. "Though dance isn't really my thing."

"Any injuries recently? Stomachaches?"

"Uh, nope. None."

"Have you had your period yet?"

"Yes," Cara nods.

"Okay, this is the part of the exam where I need you to step out of the room." Melinda gestures. "Just for routine questioning. It shouldn't be long. You guys can wait out in the hall."

Right. The questions parents aren't supposed to hear. You gather your crew and you all wait out in the hall.

"She looks good," Natasha speaks. Oh, no. You know what this is. She's fishing for something and you're not going to take the bait.

"Oh, yeah, she does." You say nonchalantly. Not like you noticed. "Is this weird for you?"

"Kind of," Natasha admits. "It's not every day we see an ex out in the wild."

"Yeah, " You shrug, shifting Luke on your hips. "But she is a doctor."

"A nice doctor," Charlie cuts in.

"Nice is subjective," James adds.

"Kid is on my side," Natasha snorts.

"She's got a dog," Paige points out. "And she has lollipops."

"I don't think any of you guys will ever see her again. Unless one of you get sick," You explain. "So, no need to form a crush."

"If she's your ex that means you dated her?" Charlie questions. "You cheated on Mama?"

"No, no, absolutely not," You rush out. This was not a conversation to be having in public - or the hallway of a doctor's office. "I was with her before I met your Mama."

"Oh, well, why didn't it work out?"

"Just adult things," You end the conversation there. "Nothing for you to worry about."

Adults things where you both were quite toxic for each other. Also, missing the anniversary was a one time thing. Well, two time thing. Only because you’d been in college and prepping for law school. You’d both simply grown apart and wanted other things. You think everything has worked out how it’s supposed to be. 

***************

Meanwhile inside of the room Melinda and Cara are having a conversation.

"So, I have to ask you these questions," Melinda begins. "Just know that anything you say stays between us unless I feel it is harmful to you."

"I gotcha," Cara replies.

"How are your eating habits?"

"Uh, good."

"Any weight fluctuations or loss?"

"Nope. My coach says I'm gaining muscle."

"Any recent injuries?"

"No.You asked that one already.” Cara points out.

“Right, it’s on here twice.” Melinda swipes to another screen.

"Stress levels? Have they increased recently."

"Yes," Cara admits. "We're moving out of town soon. To Ohio."

"Why's that?"

"Mom's got a new job," Cara explains. "Which is fine. I'm just worried about leaving all of my friends behind. I've known them forever."

"That's understandable," Melinda nods. "When was your last period?"

"Last month."

"Has it ever been irregular or heavy?"

"Sometimes. Like when I'm stressed."

"Okay, have you had any unprotected sex?"

"No, never." Cara slightly blushes.

"Do you understand that if you do there are contraceptives that are available to you?"

"Yeah, my Moms taught me about those a long time ago," Cara nods. "They make sure I am prepared."

"Any drugs or alchohol?"

"No, none of that," Cara denies. "I'm an athlete. That stuff isn't good for me."

"That's a good mindset," Melinda offers a small smile. "I know sometimes when people go through stressful situations they feel like they want to take some sort of release or relief."

"I don't want that," Cara insists. "I'm happy. I have a great family."

"I'm glad."

"You were Mom's fiance?"

"Yes, many moons ago," Melinda nods. "It's all water under the bridge now."

"Were you close?"

"We were," Melinda replies.

"Why did you guys' breakup?" Cara wants more of the story.

"I'm not sure your moms would like me telling you this."

"Right," Cara tucks hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry about your wife. That must be lonely."

"I have my moments," Melinda shrugs. "I appreciate the concern. I occupy my time with sports and things outside of work."

"Do you run?"

"I used to," Melinda says. "I was a gymnast for a while."

"Me too," Cara smiles.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but then I got into other sports." Cara continues. "Moms allow me to choose so I try out everything."

"You should try boxing," Melinda suggests. "I'm trying to convince a friend of mine to start teaching it."

"I will. When are the lessons?"

"I'm not sure," Melinda laughs.

"You should come over to dinner sometime," Cara offers. She really likes Melinda's vibe. That and she wants to be nosier.

"I don't know if that's appropriate," Melinda smirks. "I'll invite your family back in.”

 "Okay." Melinda opens the door to gesutre for you all to pile back in.

"Well, I've reviewed the children's charts and everything is in order. I'll have the nurse come in to administer the vaccines."

"Thank you, Dr. Whitlock," You nod.

"You're welcome," Melinda responds. She turns to leave. "You know, after all this time the both of you still look the same. Still beautiful. " She looks at you for a few seconds longer. Before she leaves the room.

"I don't like her," Natasha mutters to you. "Are you blushing?"

"No," You insist. "The room is just a little hot."

"Right," Natasha rolls her eyes.

"Can I have the lollipop now, Mama?" Paige tugs at Natasha's hand.

"Of course, baby girl," Natasha hands Paige a lollipop from the tray. "I think we're done here. What do you think?"

"Sounds good."

"Let's wait for the nurse then we can go," Natasha smiles.

"What about ice cream?" Charlie asks.

"Is it still too late to get it spiked?" Natasha reminds you. You chuckle. 

[dazaisflatass]

I Need Your Help!

So, I've spent long and hard thinking about how to present this to all of you. I know that this blog isn't really anything spectacular, but it's the most successful following I've managed to build on... well, anything. I'm not great at remembering to post my art, and I have no idea where to start when it comes to my dream of having a singing career, but... I have you guys. And that's more than I could ask for.

Yet...here I am, asking for more, haha..

The truth is, I have a lot of financial struggles going on right now. With several thousands of dollars of debt across a few different accounts, ranging from my car payment to veterinary bills, I've nearly reached my breaking point. I can hardly keep up with all my payments, let alone cover rent and electricity and all these other costs of living. It's frankly rather terrifying, and if I don't get things in order, well... Your favorite ass blog has a lot to lose. I've got three cats to take care of, my boyfriend is currently between jobs, and my brother whom I live with needs my help to support himself and his two kids.

So, with all that being said... Would anyone care to buy me a Coffee?

I'm still figuring out the logistics of it, but I would love to implement all kinds of rewards with this (and Patreon, if I can get that set up too). Things like drawings and doodles, song requests, pictures and videos of my cats--you name it, I'll do it. I just...need to get my life in order, before it's totally ruined for good. Wouldn't want to lose the Daily Dazai Ass blog, would we..? Haha... haahh...

In all seriousness though, if you're not in a position to help monetarily, don't feel bad. Even just spreading this post would help me immensely. But if you are able to donate, I promise I will do everything within my power to become a person deserving of such support. Please, help me pave the way to my future.

Thank you.

[tigergirltail]

TIGER HRT CHAPTER 1 - MONTH MINUS 6 - THE CONSULTATION

The specialest of special thanks to @ayviedoesthings for creating the original Dragon HRT story, and a big shoutout as well to @kaylasartwork, @welldrawnfish, @nyxisart, and @deadeyedfae for their takes on the concept! Every one of you is inspirational, and your work gives me so much second-hand gender euphoria!

Next

---

"Miss Alexis, please come in."

I look around as I walk inside. Between the doctor being a balding middle-aged man and the office looking like any generic doctor's office, I'm honestly a little disappointed. I was hoping the infamous source of therian HRT would be a little more… I don't know. Exotic? Unique? I was half expecting the walls to have before and after photographs of clients, but I suppose when it comes down to it, this is a serious medical facility, not a beauty salon. I walk up to the desk and sit down in the chair.

"Now I understand you wish to be a… a tiger?"

I'm unable to suppress my euphoria at the idea, and I start grinning and nodding. "A white tiger! I haven't changed my fursona since I got one, it's about time I start embodying it!"

"Indeed… And I see on your medical history that you are transgender." He mutters under his breath, "Just like all the others…"

I give a little smirk. 'All the others' are the reason I'm here. If this guy is handing out meds that can turn people into dragons or fish or bats, then a tiger should be easy, right? It's a mammal, and not much bigger than a human, relatively speaking. I had even given some thought to the rumoured "Fifteen Minute Shortcut", but when it comes down to it, even if I did have the ungodly pain tolerance to withstand such a rapid transformation of my bone structure and musculature, I… don't really want to do it quickly. Mundane HRT has already been such an absolute gift in terms of euphoria from noticing the slow and gradual changes, I want to keep that up. I want to notice the little things.

"Now I'm afraid there are some requirements to be settled first…"

Oh boy. Here comes the bureaucratic bullshit. Everything that's been put in place to make sure Our Children don't Make A Terrible Mistake. When it comes down to it, bodily autonomy only counts when you're not one of the weirdos. The instant you decide to be capital-d Different, people start falling over themselves trying to talk you out of it.

"First of all, I see that you have been taking human hormone therapy for a little over six months. We do require a full year of human treatment before beginning therian treatments, and I'm afraid that is fully non-negotiable. There are matters of biology that require the body to be a certain degree of… receptive."

I was afraid of this, but at least it's not a deal-killer. Another half-year is bearable, even if I am going to be shaking with anticipation the entire time.

"I also see you have letters from a practicing physician and a social worker, but we do require a second psychologist to be involved in the process."

Okay. Absolute horseshit, but not impossible. All I've got to do is find another social worker or psychologist. And pay them for several months of sessions. And hope they don't decide I'm crazy for wanting to throw away my humanity. I can feel my expression souring…

"It's also required to live as your desired species for at least a year before beginning the process."

"What." I'm leaning forward and glaring at the doctor before I fully realize it. "And how exactly am I supposed to do that, without the… the requisite biology, or the inborn instincts, or the… the habitat!" I let out a frustrated growl. "Am I supposed to fly off to India or Bangladesh or somewhere, and start camping out in the wilderness??"

"Miss Alexis, please, I'm afraid these are… are the requirements set forth by the guidelines of -"

"Guidelines!" I slam a palm down on the desk between us, before letting out a frustrated breath. "Just that… Guidelines. You know, and I know, that a lot of people have come to you already, with a lot more… exotic requests. Flying animals? Aquatic animals? A fucking DRAGON??"

The doctor seems taken aback, maybe he didn't expect this level of resistance.

"What is even the natural habitat of a dragon anyway? Or the diet? Or the behaviours in the wild?? It's a mythical creature for gods' sakes, there's no firm evidence they even existed!!" I stare at him, unblinkingly, with what I dearly hope is a predatory glare. "But I do get it, though. You have to be absolutely sure I won't regret it. Liability, or whatever. …Maybe we just need to know how hard I can BITE."

Something changes in his expression. ...Malice? No, not quite. A sort of… satisfaction, maybe.

It was a test. He wanted to know whether I'd just roll over and accept the impossibility of my quest, or whether I was prepared to fight for it.

Joke's on him, just getting human HRT was such a godsdamned hassle, I already know how to fight.

He adjusts his glasses. "Perhaps there is something I can do for you… Let me get you some forms."

[absolutewhore101]

Tolerate It - Chapter 1

A/N: wow okay so it's been... several months since i've written anything, so please be gentle with me on this one. this is based on taylor swift's song 'tolerate it,' hope you enjoy

Pairing: Joel Miller x ImpliedFem!Reader

Summary: Listen to 'Tolerate It' by Taylor Swift

Warnings: poorly written angst

Word Count: 1.2K

Chapter 2

MINORS DNI

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You watched Joel from across the small living room. Watched the way he kept his eyes on the page, head hung low, even when he knew you were staring at him, silently begging him to look back at you. He seemed to do that more often lately, you thought, act like you weren’t in the room. 

On the rare occasion that you’d wake up in the morning before Joel, you’d take the time to just watch him. You took in his face free of any worry or anger - something you saw a lot of recently. You just laid there, tracing the lines of his face, knowing that he was awake. He didn’t respond to your touch anymore. No more catching of your wrist or small smile to let you know he was awake. He’d only get out of bed when he heard your soft sigh as you left the room. 

Watching him seemed like the only thing you could do lately. From across the living room, through the window, on opposite sides of the bar - watching as he never once looked back at you. Watching him as he seemed to forget that he had someone to go home to, talking to the girl at the bar that frequented your thoughts. 

The age gap had never been a problem before. Not when you first met, not when you first got together, and certainly not when you’d arrived in Jackson. But something shifted. Maybe it was the sense of normalcy that Jackson provided - perhaps Joel felt that the age gap was inappropriate in a society like that. 

And when you overheard Joel express it to Tommy, you just nodded your head. You figured that it was just a phase - that he simply had more experience in life to know what was best for your relationship. He had never seemed that much older to you, but he had certainly seemed wiser. 

Whenever Joel went on runs, you’d spend the time anxiously waiting for him to get home - pacing in front of the door, badgering Tommy for updates, trying to keep yourself busy with Ellie - anything. These were the moments you most felt like a child, waiting for him to get home, knowing he probably hadn’t thought of you once the front door closed. But you waited anyway. 

And when he came home, you made sure he knew just how much you missed him. You’d throw yourself into his arms, not paying attention to how they seemed to loosen every time.

“If I painted a picture of you,” you whispered one night, “I’d make sure to use my best colors. Only the good ones.” Joel had been facing the other way from you, finding it too painful to act like he still loved you as much as he used to, and fell asleep to your admiration. 

—

The next time Joel came home from a run, he wasn’t immediately welcomed at the door like he usually was. He assumed that you’d finally caught on to his well-kept feelings - that you knew you deserved better than a man who didn’t love you anymore - only to walk into the kitchen and see a full meal already prepared. You’d brought out the “fine china,” as you liked to call it - the only plates without any chips or cracks within them. 

“Hi, baby,” you said, walking over to greet him. “Thought we’d use the fancy shit tonight.”

He only nodded, toeing off his shoes and leaving the room without a word. 

Was it all in your head, the way he treated you? It hadn’t always been like this, that much you were sure of. You knew it would be best to just ask him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Part of you already knew the answer - that you didn’t make him feel like you used to, and that he’d found someone who did. 

But you were wrong. You had to be wrong. 

But wasn’t your love enough, even if he no longer felt the same? Wasn’t that something worth celebrating?

—

“Joel’s back!” Ellie excitedly yelled from the living room. He’d been out on patrol for nearly 3 weeks at that point, having to go a little farther than usual, and the waiting was killing you. 

You ran outside right after Ellie, following her into town where Joel was greeting Tommy. She stopped a few feet away when she saw Joel spot you, assuming he’d want to see you first. 

You threw yourself into his arms, crying into his shoulder, feeling him tense beneath you. When once his arms would wrap tightly around your waist, his hands simply laid on your hips, halfway pushing you away. You pulled back, not meeting his eyes, and stepped to the side. 

Ellie went next, running up to Joel and wrapping herself around his torso. His arms eagerly wrapped around her shoulders, smiling as she held onto him. He leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head, and you had to look away. 

Tommy laid a hand on your shoulder, eyes on Joel as he walked past you. 

You turned to walk back home, hoping Joel would stop you or pull you back, but you were met with nothing - no calling of your name or hand on your arm, just a lonely walk back to an empty house.

—

The sun had set hours ago, Ellie was sound asleep in bed, and Joel was nowhere to be found. He told you he was going to the bar, and that was that. No room for argument or protest. And you’d stopped trying. 

You sat upstairs in your bedroom, watching out the window that faced into town. Watched as Joel walked hand in hand with a woman you recognized but couldn’t name down the center of the street. Watched as he brought her in for a kiss, arms wrapped around her waist like they once were yours. 

Then you watched as a kid you hadn’t seen before ran up to the two of them, slotting himself between them as he looked up at Joel. He reached down, ruffling his hair as he talked to him, clearly familiar with this routine. 

He’d been building this whole world for himself, and where had you been? Had he done it with you watching? From across the room, or through the window, or at the bar?

Where was the man you met just a few years ago, who took you and made you feel loved? Who acknowledged every sharp part of you and held you regardless?

You’d worshiped him, once. Put up on a pedestal so high you thought he’d never come down - that the fall would hurt too much. 

And you were right. Where he seemed to survive the drop, it nearly killed you. All you could do now was ask for him to meet your eyes, to notice you, hell, you’d even take a simple “hello” when he walked through the door. 

You thought about it, sometimes, leaving him. What would he do? You could break free of him, leave the remains of your relationship behind, finally ripping the knife he’d put in your back out. 

You knew you could do it.

But all you did was sit and watch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tell me your thoughts! Thank you for reading :)

[gauloiseblue]

John Price as a arm candy personal bodyguard

General HQ | Part I | Part II

(Enemy to friend to lover AU)

"Why did you agree to help me?"

The question came out from his mouth so suddenly, that even he himself was caught off guard.

She stared at him for a moment, before she asked him back,

"Would you rather me not helping you?"

"That's not what I meant." He grunts, "You let me into your home, even though we barely knew each other."

She raised his brow at him, "If that's the case, then why did you knock on my door?"

He fell silent for a moment.

"I… don't know."

(I feel like I could trust you)

"Then I don't know either." She told him, as she turned her attention away from him.

After seeing her unwillingness to talk, he decided not to push it further.

Other than her aloofness, she's very accommodating as a host. She let him use her office as his living space, and he could ask her if he needed anything.

He has made a few progress as well; he had established a way to communicate with his team, although he couldn't find Ghost's whereabouts. He also found the person behind the missing blueprints. With that information in mind, he began to plan his next step.

There's just one problem though, he needed guns and weapons.

Of course, he couldn't possibly ask her to buy those things. She'd raise the alarm even by mentioning anything about guns. But he did find a way to acquire it, though he had no choice but to ask her a favor.

"You want to attend the ball?"

"Yes, I have someone to meet there."

She thought for a moment, "I can try. But don't get your hopes up, it's hard to get into contact with him."

"It's alright." He said, "Do what you can."

She took a fine piece of paper, as she hummed to help her think.

"You said he's an arm dealer?" He nodded, "I might have something that could interest him."

She approached the wooden cabinet near her desk, and pulled one of the drawers open. She then pushed the upper layer aside, revealing a hidden cabinet below.

She took the polished box out, and placed it on the table.

"I never knew I'd use it as a bargaining tool." She sighed, "Let's just hope it'll work."

She told him to find her assistant and helped her deliver the gift, along with the letter she hurriedly wrote.

Several days later, when he was working on his desk, she barged into the room with a letter in her hand.

"Get ready." She told him as she slapped the letter on the table, "We're going to the ball tomorrow."

He didn't have the time to react as she dragged him along to the garage.

"I've made an appointment with a tailor. Since we can't have a custom-made suit, we'll choose whatever's on displays. Also, we should work on that face. That beard needs to go."

"What? No."

"You're a fugitive, John. You need to hide your identity." She told him as she got into the car. "Besides, you're coming with me as my escort, so don't argue with me on this point."

At the boutique, she handed him several suits and shirts, and told him to try them all. They went through that process several times before she chose the white and darker blue combination.

The next stop was the salon, and he could say with confidence that it was an experience he never wanted to repeat again.

"I swear, you always bring the most exotic looking people to my salon."

"I think you mistook ordinary people as the exotic ones."

"But you can't deny that he's gorgeous, darling."

He could only smile awkwardly as the two women in front of him conversed on what to do with him.

"I want him to look different, you can change his hair color if you want."

"Hmm, let me see." The woman beside her took a step closer to him, "Well, I can make him look a little bit younger, but I don’t know about his skin, dear. It's been exposed to too much sunlight."

"I can fix that myself. Please do something about his hair," She took a glance at him before she added, "And his beard."

After years of grooming and care for his beard, the fruits of his labor were gone in just 15 minutes. Not only that, he had to sit down for hours, as the woman worked on his hair, and listened to her complaints about the texture of his hair, and how he should've taken better care of it.

When she finished, she called her to take a look at him and see if it's to her liking. She came up to him and lifted his chin to get a better view. Before she gave her a nod of approval.

Back at her house, they went over the plan, and talked for a little more, before she brought a bottle of wine for them. Soon, the conversation turned personal, as he told her stories from his old days.

She was quiet when he told her about Shepherd, and how history repeats itself.

"You can't carry all the problems on your shoulder, John. You know that."

"I know." He murmured, "But I can't just sit around and wait for anyone else to solve it."

"There'll always be a person with the same righteousness as you." She said, "You have to remember that your body has a limit. You're not getting any younger, sooner or later, they'll find a way to get rid of you."

He kept his eyes on the glass between his hands, as her words tore through his ears. He didn't like the way it sounded, because he had already heard it a million times in his head.

She reached to him, and placed her hand on top of his, giving him a gentle squeeze. "When it's all over, come to me, John." She muttered quietly, "I won't ask you for too much. Keep me safe, and I'll take care of you."

He thought about it long enough for the silence to fill in, before he turned his hand to hold hers. "What if I refuse?"

"Then send me a card every Christmas," She replied, "So I'd know you're still alive."

He lifted his head to see her, and caught the sincerity in her eyes. She could've asked him to stay, and yet, she let him choose.

"... When it's all over," He told her, as he placed a kiss on her knuckles, "I'll give you my answer."

[something-tofightfor]

Liminality: Part 6

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Word Count: 9,580

Rating: M.

Summary: Secrets are revealed, and you learn that there's much more to the situation in Florida than meets the eye.

Author’s note:

I've been so excited to get to this chapter that it's unreal. I hope it's as satisfying for you to read as it was for me to write. I know there's been a lot of back and forth, and that this won't answer everything ... but it's a start.

One last Feral Frankie Friday for 2023 - thank you for reading. Please come yell in my inbox if you'd like

Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)

You drove to the hospital in a daze, your grip on the steering wheel tight. 

Ashley’s words replayed over in your mind as you traveled, and by the time you parked, you realized that there were tears dripping down your cheeks, your eyes brimming with more. What if he dies? What if he’s gone? What if he… 

Taking a deep breath, you tried to focus, though you only gave yourself a few seconds before you forced yourself out of the car and toward the emergency room’s entrance. You stopped at the front desk and gave them Alec’s name, explaining that you were his cousin and that his fiancee had called you, and the woman directed you to the elevators and the correct floor. 

Even though it was only a short ride up, it felt like it took forever. When the doors opened, you nearly sprinted through them, looking for the woman you’d seen in the picture. You didn’t have far to go - she stood from the chair she was sitting in and rushed toward you, her big, green eyes just as full of tears as yours were. “You made it.” 

With a silent nod of your head, you wrapped your arms around her, the two of you hugging tightly under the fluorescent lighting. When you broke apart, she looked up at you and gave you a watery smile, reaching up to swipe some of her tears away. She looks exhausted. “How is he? Is he -”

“He’s still in surgery.” She led you into the small waiting room, which was empty aside from the two of you. “It …” She winced as she sat, curling up onto one of the larger armchairs, her right hand moving to cradle her stomach. You couldn’t help it, glancing down to look at her swollen belly, the material of a faded t-shirt stretched over it. “It could have been a lot worse, but he’s going to make it.” There was a question you wanted to ask, though you didn’t want to make it seem like an accusation. But before you could open your mouth again, she beat you to it. “He wasn’t bitten.” 

You deflated, relief coursing through your body. That’s one good thing. “That’s a good thing, right?” 

“It is.” She nodded, sighing. “It’s hard enough when you’re born into it, but learning? It’s even harder. And with the baby coming in a few months, it wouldn’t…” She bit her lip, her hand moving slowly over the bump. “I love him, but I can’t handle two newborn wolves right now.” You smiled, despite the severity of the situation, and Ashley continued. “I needed to run, so we found a campground last night as soon as we got here. It was cutting it close, but …” She shrugged. “He likes to come with me, and hang out in the woods. So he brings a second tent and we find a clearing, and …” She sniffled, wiping her cheeks again. “We did that last night. Figured we’d call you this morning and let you know we were here, and …” 

You reached out with one hand, taking hers and squeezing. You felt the edges of her engagement ring digging into your palm, and when you released her hand you looked down at it, eyes widening. “That’s gorgeous. Alec’s got good taste.” 

“He does.” She held up her hand, her smile growing. It was short-lived, though, and only moments later, she squeezed her eyes shut and kept telling the story. “So we hiked out a little ways away from the campground, because we both figured that there was no way if you were right, we’d pick the same place as the other one, you know?” You nodded, waiting. “He set up the tent and then when the sun went down, I changed. As soon as I did, I smelled another wolf. It was far off, but I caught it on the wind.” 

“So there was two.” You sucked in a breath. “We were on the river and heard -”

“I saw the text this morning.” She nodded and then spoke again, her voice lower. “One of the wolves you heard was me.” Ashley leaned in. “But the other one… Alec told me to go, to look for it, and so I took off. I could cover a ton of ground, and I thought … I thought if I could find it, I could do something about it - lead it closer to Alec and injure it somehow so he could take care of it in the morning after he got some answers when it was human, but …” She looked down, more tears forming. “I ran off looking for it, and it came looking for me, but found him.” 

“Oh, shit.” You covered your mouth, not knowing what else to say. So it attacked him while she was gone? 

“When I realized that it had passed me, I turned around and got back as fast as I could. I made it just in time. Alec was holding a gun on it, but he didn’t want to outright kill it in wolf form, and before I could do anything, it lunged.” She shook her head, brow furrowed. “I’ve never just seen one of us attack like that. It was playing with him; clawing at trees and circling, just trying to scare him at first. It knocked the gun out of his hands and then swiped at him.” She moved her hand to her side, pressing on it. “He was huge. Bigger than just about anything I’ve ever seen, and the claws were …” She met your eyes again, her lips pressed together. “I went after it before Alec hit the ground, and I knocked it away. I put myself between them, but it didn’t care.” 

“You what?”

“He’s my mate. What I feel for him is even stronger when I’m …” She gestured at herself, and then pointed at her stomach. “Especially now, since there’s a part of him inside of me. My only thought was to protect him. If I didn’t stand my ground, the other wolf would have…” She stopped talking when a pair of nurses walked into the room, talking quietly, and only started again once they’d disappeared through a set of doors, leaving the two of you alone. “We’ve met unfriendly packs before. But this was different. It was angry. It would have killed him and then come after me, no questions asked. So I attacked it.” 

Your jaw dropped, and you realized you were in awe of the woman; five months pregnant and willingly putting herself in immediate danger to save Alec and their unborn child. “Did you scare it away?” 

“He was bigger but sort of … clumsy. Like he’s still getting used to what the wolf can do?” She shrugged. “Whoever he is, he hasn’t … he was turned. I was able to pin him and then get my …” Ashley licked her lips. “I bit him. Here.” She tapped on her left shoulder, nodding. “Got him good, but he got me, too, on the leg, and then just sort of flung me off of him and ran in the opposite direction. He’ll be feeling that today, just like I am.” She was crying again, and she reached out for you, taking both of your hands in hers. “I could have chased him. I should have. But I didn’t want to leave Alec.” 

“Of course not.” You nodded, understanding completely. “I would have stayed with him, too.” 

“I couldn’t drag him back to the tent or to the campsite. I would have bitten him.” She covered her eyes with one hand. “So all I could do was stay with him and keep him warm until the moon set and I was me again. It was hours, and he was just bleeding everywhere, but as soon as I could, I called 911 and they came and got him, and …”

“What did you tell them? How did you -”

“Location sharing. I told them I woke up in my tent and he was gone, so I followed the trail to where his phone last was. My phone was at the campsite all night, so even if they checked … they would have seen that my story was true.” She sighed. “They got to him quick, and rushed him here and took him back to surgery immediately, and I called you after I finished filling out his paperwork. He’s got some internal bleeding, and needs a transfusion. He’s going to have some nasty scars, but … he’s going to live, and he’s still…” Human. 

The unspoken word was heavy between you. You nodded in reply, taking her hand again and looking directly into her eyes. “I’m glad you were there. I’m glad you were able to protect him. And…” You lowered your head. “And to confirm that I was correct to come here because the Chaos line is … in Florida.” 

“It is.” She blew out a breath. “I’ve seen everything that you’ve sent to Alec, and you … you’re very thorough.” She opened her mouth to speak again, but was interrupted by a male voice saying her name. “Yes? That’s me?”

“I have some news about Alec, if you’d like to come with me -”

“You can tell me right here.” She got to her feet, pointing at you. “She’s his family too. Second on his emergency contact list.” The man - you assumed he was the surgeon, or one of them - nodded twice. “Is Alec -”

“He’s out of surgery right now and going into recovery.” The man held up a hand as Ashley sagged into you, one of your arms winding around her shoulders. “There was some internal bleeding, but once we got in there and cleaned it up, we were able to stop it quickly and take care of a few other issues, too. He got a transfusion, and is currently stitched up. He’ll be on a series of antibiotics. We’ve also checked his vaccination history and brought him up to date on the relevant ones, like we always do with a wild animal bite or scratch.” The man paused, looking down at the floor for a few seconds. “Your fiance was very lucky. We’ll keep him for a day or two just to make sure everything looks good, and to check for signs of infection.” 

“When will he wake up?” She straightened up, taking a deep breath. “Is he -” 

“Within the next hour or so.” The man held up a hand. “I can take you into the room, so you can wait.” He paused, sighing. “But we usually only let one person back, and I’ll warn you, Alec’s going to be very groggy for up to a couple days, so -”

“I can come back.” You nodded immediately, squeezing Ashley’s hand. “You go and be with him now, and I can come back when he’s more awake.” Hearing from the doctor had helped to calm you, and you could tell it had done the same with Ashley, the woman’s breathing normal and her tears mostly stopped. She turned to you and hugged you tightly, whispering thank you into your ear. When she stepped back, she took a deep breath, nodding. 

“I’ll call you later, if that’s alright? If he’s up to it, you can -” 

“That’s fine. I’ll keep my phone on.” You stood in the waiting room until the two of them had disappeared, and once they were gone, you went limp, shoulders sagging. He could have died and I was gloating about being right. 

Taking a few seconds to compose yourself, you headed back for the elevator, reaching into your bag for your phone. I’ll turn the volume on and - 

You weren’t expecting to see ten missed calls from Frankie along with a series of text messages and two voicemails. What the fuck? 

Hurrying toward your car, you waited until you were sitting down to call him back, figuring that you wouldn’t have much time before he had to head out on his first flight. But Frankie answered after the first ring, his tone almost frantic. “Where are you? I’ve been calling you all morning, and you’re not at your apartment and -” 

“How do you know I’m not there?” Frowning, you tapped on the steering wheel. “I -”

“Because I’m siting in your driveway.” What? 

“You should be at the airport.” You scoffed, unsure of what to say next. “You -”

“I called off.” It was the first time he’d ever snapped at you, and you went silent at the tone of his voice, gasping in surprise. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I just … I saw your texts this morning, and then talked to Benny and Pope, and… they’re talking about it on the news. There was another attack, and -” 

“I’m at the hospital, Frankie.” You sagged against the seat, interrupting him as he swore loudly on the other end of the line. “I’m fine. My cousin’s not, though, he -”

“Your cousin? Why is -”

“It’s a long story.” You started your car, sighing. “I’m about a half hour away.”

“I’ll wait.” He paused and then said your name, his voice quiet. “Please be careful.” You assured him you would and started your car, hanging up the phone. 

Frankie being at your apartment was a shock, but not as shocking as the fact that he’d called off. You hoped it wasn’t because he’d been unable to contact you, but you wouldn’t have that answer until you saw him. And I can’t see him until I get back. “Fuck.” You tapped your forehead against the steering wheel, sighing. “What a long fucking morning.” 

— 

Frankie was leaning against the liftgate of his truck when you pulled up, his foot tapping on the ground. You had to admit that he looked worried, but that still didn’t answer any questions for you - and so you hurried to exit your car, not bothering to lock it behind you. “Frankie, you really didn’t -”

“You heard wolves? There aren’t any wolves in Florida. Are you sure you …” He followed you to the door, uncertainty in his tone. “Could it have been something else? Like a coyote or a -”

“Frankie, I know what a fucking wolf sounds like.” You slid your shoes off and then sat down hard on the couch, putting your face into your hands. “We all heard it. Benny and Manny and -”

“What is this?” His tone was entirely different than it had been, and when you raised your head, your mouth fell open in wordless shock. Oh fuck. “What is …” He was holding your open journal, looking between the pages and you. “It …” 

You’d been so exhausted after the hours you’d spent working the previous night that you hadn’t bothered to put anything away before dragging yourself to bed. And after Ashley’s phone call, you’d run out of the apartment before doing anything but putting shoes on and grabbing your bag. How the fuck am I going to explain this? You watched as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on the papers and photos scattered around the space before he looked back at you, confusion clearly written across his features. 

“It’s my research.” He was still standing in front of you, and for the first time, you realized how tired he looked, the man’s face paler than usual, making the dark circles under his eyes stand out. “Frankie, I -” 

“Why are you really here?” He closed your journal, leaning forward to set it down on the table, the man straightening up and crossing his arms. You didn’t miss the wince as he did it, Frankie slowly rolling his shoulders back and shaking his head. “Why were you at the -” He’s hurt. He’s hurt and it’s something to do with his arm, and … 

“My cousin was attacked by something last night in the same fucking swamp where I heard a wolf howling, Frankie.” You rose to your feet, moving slowly. “I was at the hospital because his fiancee called me. She wanted me to know that he was alright.” You took a deep breath, staring at the man and trying to figure out the likelihood of getting past him and into the bedroom before he could catch you. It probably won’t happen. “I got like an hour of sleep last night, and …” You stepped to the side and Frankie followed you with a half step, his eyes never leaving your face. “I need to make coffee, Frankie. I -”

“What is all of this?” He used one hand to gesture to the living room without uncrossing his arms, the man staying still. “The -”

“I’ll tell you everything as soon as I have coffee. Do you want some?” You smiled at him, though you knew he could probably tell it was strained. “I have an extra mug.” You stepped toward the kitchen as you spoke, hoping that you still appeared calm, even though you were anything but. There’s no way. There’s no way it was … “His fiancee’s going to call me when he’s less groggy, but -” 

You broke for it then, abruptly moving through the kitchen and into the bedroom, diving for the bed - and the nightstand where you kept the only weapon you thought would help keep you safe: one of the guns that had been passed down through generations of your family, the chamber loaded with six silver bullets. 

Whipping around, you pointed it at the man, shaking your head. “What the fuck are…” He stopped, holding up both hands at the same time his eyebrows shot up. “Why do you have a gun pointed at me?” You knew that in all reality, the man would be able to disarm you without issue, injured or not. But not before I could get off a shot. Not before… He said your name, shaking his head. “What’s going on?” 

“Who are you, Frankie? What are you?” You took a shaky breath, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from crying. I don’t know if I want the answers to these questions. “Where were you last night?” 

“I was at home.” He stepped closer, shaking his head. “I went to bed early because I had to fly today, and -” He’s lying. 

“Bullshit.” You jerked your chin forward, eyes dropping briefly to his arm. “What’s that scar from, Frankie?”

“I told you, I got hurt in South America a couple years ago.” He wet his lips, tilting his head to the side. “What are you really asking me?” 

You saw it then - emotions like a dark cloud across his face, the look in his eyes going hard, even as the gun wavered slightly in your hands. You didn’t want to clarify. You didn’t want to put the question into words because once you did, you’d have to make a choice. But then you thought of Alec and Ashley, the pair in a hospital room and your cousin in pain, the woman having to come to terms with putting herself and her unborn baby into danger to save the man she loved. 

“How’d you hurt your arm, Frankie?” You blinked, swallowing around a lump in your throat. “You were fine the last time I saw you, and something happened. What was it?”

“I was putting the doors back on yesterday, and I hurt myself lifting one of ‘em. That’s why I called off today.” He let out a steady breath, never looking away from you. “I can barely lift it, see?” He extended his right arm, slowly bringing it upward, but he didn’t get too far before he hissed in pain, his left hand moving to grip the bicep. “Fuckin’ hurts, and… can we please put the gun down? I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t like having a goddamn weapon pointed at me.” 

You struggled to remember which arm Ashley had told you she’d bitten on the wolf. I think it was the right. But maybe … maybe it was the left, and … “Frankie…” 

“Why. Are. You. Here?” He straightened his shoulders, shaking his head. “What is all that in the other room?” You rose from the bed, the gun held steady. “Talk to me. Please.” You stared at him, thinking. You have to ask. You have to know. Planting your feet, you took a deep breath and held it, eyes locked with his. 

“My cousin was attacked last night by a werewolf, Frankie. He was attacked by the same wolf that brought me here.” His eyes widened, uncertainty flashing through them, but you kept going. I’ve already lost him, so what does it matter now? “I’ve been looking for these goddamn wolves since I turned eighteen, and everything led me here, to Florida.” You repositioned your fingers, your index sliding closer to the trigger. “Tell me you’re not the wolf that attacked him. Tell me you’re not a wolf, Frankie, because -”

He stared at you for a few seconds, the look in his eyes softening before he spoke. “I wish I could.” You gasped at his words, your entire body shaking, but you reacted on instinct, finger moving onto the trigger - and that’s when Frankie moved, too. 

He was faster than you thought he would be, his fingers closing around your wrist and squeezing, your grip on the gun going slack. He caught it with his other hand even as you cried out, but Frankie was quick to slip the handgun into the waistband of his jeans before reaching out for your other arm, his fingers closing around your bicep as you uselessly tried to claw at his chest. “Let me go. Let me fucking -”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” You were only inches from his face and staring directly into his eyes, the look in them calm. You caught more of the gold that you’d seen the first night, but you also saw the worry in them, Frankie’s expression softening. “I’d never hurt you. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone.” 

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to trust what he was saying, even though he’d all but admitted that he was a wolf. And we heard two, so that means he was there, and it had to be him that attacked … “Take off your shirt.” He jerked back, confused. “My cousin’s fiancee attacked the wolf that attacked him. She bit him on the shoulder, and there should be a mark.”

“Your cousin’s fiancee bit a werewolf?” He looked genuinely confused, his frown deepening as his brow furrowed.

“She’s a wolf too. It’s a long fucking story.” Despite your fear and apprehension, you rolled your eyes. “But she said the wolf would be hurt today, and since you’re trying to convince me that you conveniently hurt your arm at work yesterday…” He let you go immediately, reaching down with his right arm and using it to pull his t-shirt over his head, exposing his torso to you. 

There was nothing out of the ordinary, and when Frankie spun around in a slow circle, you paid attention to his shoulders and neck, looking for remnants of a bite mark or bruising. You couldn’t see most of his right one thanks to the tattoo, but it looked completely intact, as did his left, and when Frankie turned to face you again, he sighed. “See? It’s just muscle aches. I’m getting fucking old. I didn’t get attacked by your cousin’s fiancee last night.” 

You were confused - and exhausted, but you still needed him to explain. Frankie must have seen the look on your face because he raised an eyebrow, gesturing with one hand toward the living room. You nodded, sighing, and when he reached for the gun again, holding it out toward you, you took it, though you didn’t grip the handle as tightly you had before - and you didn’t point it at him. Maybe I’m overthinking it.

You carried it with you back into the other room, bypassing the kitchen and sinking down onto the couch, the man standing in front of you and setting one hand on his hip after putting his shirt back on with another wince. “You’re really here looking for a werewolf?” His voice was soft, but you nodded in reply, unsure of whether or not you’d be able to answer in words. “Fucking hell. I don’t … I don’t know where to start.” 

“I know you probably think I’m insane, but -”

“I don’t. Three years ago, yeah. I would have, but …” He glanced up at your ceiling and then back at you, his head shaking back and forth slowly. “I did get hurt in South America. And I did get the tattoo to cover the scars once they healed.” He touched the inside of his arm, looking down. “But it wasn’t from an ambush.” 

“What happened to you, Frankie?” In spite of your uncertainty, you felt for him, watching as he struggled to tell you his story. “You -”

“After we all retired from the Army, we uh… went our separate ways. Pope stayed in Colombia. Tom came back and started with real estate. Benny started fightin’, and Will … he started doing talks for people that were readjusting to civilian life.” He sighed. “I wanted to keep flying, so I took a transport job to keep my license current.” Frankie shook his head. “Lasted a couple years. Me an’ Becca got pregnant, but I was … I wasn’t in a good place mentally. I made some shitty decisions, and I got busted for coke.” 

“What?” He held his hand up again, closing his eyes and shaking his head. 

“I only used occasionally. Helped with my nightmares. But I got popped, and lost my license for a while, and then Pope came back and said he had one more thing for us to do, and … we all agreed. Even though we knew it was bullshit, we all agreed.” He swallowed hard, rubbing at his face. “Long story short, we stole 250 million dollars from a Colombian drug lord and were trying to fly it through the fuckin’ jungle in an old military helicopter and I crashed. I crashed because it was too much fucking weight, and we went down somewhere in the middle of fucking nowhere.” 

You were stunned, your mouth hanging open. Every word that came out of his mouth was more unbelievable than the last, except … Except it makes sense. They’re all so well off, and they shouldn’t be, because they don’t have careers, they had the military, and … 

“We should have died, but we didn’t. We crashed into a farmer’s field, and of course the people there tried to steal the money. We were all disoriented as fuck, and when we were trying to diffuse the situation, one of us fired first on one of the guys in the village, and a kid… a kid lunged at me and attacked me. Redfly shot and killed him, but afterward we realized he bit me. Didn’t look like a regular bite, but everything happened so fast, we didn’t really think about it until later. Ironhead just wrapped it and we put all the money on some mules and got the fuck out of there.” What the fuck? “Everything took longer on foot, and a couple days later, I … it was a full moon, and …” 

“The kid was a wolf?” He nodded, the expression on his face a mixture of sadness and hopelessness. “Jesus, Frankie.” 

“I’m lucky none of the guys shot me right there. But I just … I took off. Scared the hell out of me and it hurt like a bitch, but … I came back the next morning, and they were terrified. They didn’t know what to think. Will was … the only levelheaded one, convinced ‘em to hear me out.” He lowered his head, his foot tapping against the floor. “I -”

“Come sit.” You tapped your hand on the cushion next to you after setting the gun down on the table, your voice soft, even as your brain and heart were at odds. No. He’s not part of the line. He didn’t… he couldn’t have.  “Come sit, Frankie.” He moved slowly but he sat down, leaving space between you. “You can keep going, if you want.” He looked over at you, the man’s eyes filled with gratitude. “I’m listening.” 

“We hauled ass to get to our pickup point. Took a couple weeks to get from the crash to the boat, but we managed to get most of the money with us. It’s all going through an offshore bank, but we’re … we’re set for life. We have to be careful about how we spend it, but …” He shrugged. “No amount of money was able to help me understand what the fuck…” Frankie hung his head, breathing heavily. “The guys are the only ones that know. Becca doesn’t. She’d never let me see Carmen again.” 

“Carmen’s not -” 

“No. She was a couple months old when I left for that last trip. Shit was already bad between me and Becca then, too. And when I got back, it was worse because I couldn’t explain where I was going every month during the full moon, y’know? I also couldn’t tell her any of what happened in South America.” He looked over at you, his eyes brimming with tears. “It was easier to just let her think that I was using again or cheating than it would have been to try to explain this.” He laughed, the sound bitter. “So we broke up for good. She made me drug test before she let me see my daughter, and of course it all came back good, which brought up a bunch of questions, but…it didn’t even matter at that point.” He shrugged. “You’re the first person I’m telling this to in three years.” 

“And I pointed a gun at you.” Pressing the heel of your hand to the bridge of your nose, you sighed. “Fuck, Frankie, I’m -” 

He cautiously reached over and put his hand atop the one between your bodies, letting the weight of it rest there. “I understand. That’s a normal reaction, especially… if you’re here looking for a wolf.” He sighed. “I moved in with Benny for a little while when I got back, just to get on my feet. Pope went to get his girl, and I couldn’t … I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, so every month was …” 

“You’ve never talked to another wolf?” He shook his head. “How did you -”

“The guys helped. That’s why we bought the RV?” He actually smiled, the expression lighting up his face for a brief moment. “I was there last night, with Pope. Nowhere near where you were, or where your cousin was attacked. One of the guys comes with me every month and stays in the camper while I’m … out. I’m always exhausted in the morning, so I need someone to drive me back. I’ve done some research online, but …” He shrugged. “Couldn’t exactly go back and talk to anyone that knew he kid who bit me and I didn’t know how to find anyone else, so I just … tried to move on. I knew there were others, but until a couple months ago, I didn’t think they were here.” 

“You knew there was another one here?” You believed him - using Frankie’s pause to think back to the way Benny’s first call had been to Pope, to confirm his and Frankie’s location. They weren’t close. And even as a wolf, it would take an hour to get from where the camper is to where we were, and … thank fuck it wasn’t him. 

“Fuck yeah. As soon as the bodies started showing up? I had a hunch. But it’s…. Even the first time I turned, I never wanted to hurt anyone. I was scared, and confused, but I was still… me. I knew who my friends were, and I didn’t want to hurt them or have one of them hurt me, so I ran. And I’ve done that every time since. So whoever’s doing that is … they’re doing it because they want to.” 

Flipping your hand over, you slid your fingers between his, moving closer on the couch. This is unbelievable. “Thank you for telling me the truth.” 

“Thank you for listening.” He elbowed you gently. “Will you tell me more about why you’re here? I want to -” He was interrupted by the ringing of your phone, and when you pulled it from your bag, you saw Alec’s picture on the screen. 

“Ashley?” The woman spoke after a few seconds, sounding much better than she had the last time you’d seen her. 

“He’s awake, but he’s still really out of it. It might … it might be better if you come tomorrow. He’s been in and out, and I don’t know if he’s going to want someone else in here to see him like this.” You understood - and told her as much, agreeing to call her the following morning. But just as she was about to hang up, you looked over and eyed Frankie, the man staring down at both hands, which were clasped together between his knees. 

“I know that you’ve got a lot going on, Ashley, but I think … there’s someone you need to talk to.” His head whipped toward you, his eyes going wide. You reached out, laying a hand on his knee and squeezing. “There’s more than two of you here, and …” You heard her gasp, the smile reappearing on your face when you next spoke. “I’m sitting next to someone right now that could definitely benefit from having a conversation with you.” 

“You’re joking.” You assured her you weren’t, keeping your eyes on Frankie. “Fucking Florida.” You laughed at that, and she chuckled with you for a few seconds before sighing. “If you can bring him with you tomorrow, I’ll… I’ll talk to him while you’re with Alec.” 

You thanked her and then hung up, setting the phone down. Your hand was still on Frankie’s knee, and when you said his name quietly, he turned his head, staring at you wordlessly. “I really am sorry about the gun.” He nodded. “And I will tell you about why I’m here, but I need … I need to get some sleep. I’m exhausted, and you look like you are, too.” 

“I am.” He moved to stand, but you kept your hand in place, the man going stiff. “Why are -” 

“We should get some rest.” You used your other hand to point to the bedroom, your thumb sweeping over the denim-covered outside of his knee. “I know you live close, but …”

“You want me to stay? Even though -” He seemed genuinely surprised, but you agreed immediately, rising to your feet and holding your hand out to him. 

“I’m looking for a specific line of wolves, Frankie, not trying to get rid of all of them.” You took a deep breath, thinking back to the previous few weeks and how kind Frankie had been to you. And how much I like being around him. “And the last thing I want to do right now is get rid of you.” There was more you’d need to grapple with later, but in that moment, all you could think about was going to sleep - and showing him that his instinct to tell you everything hadn’t been a bad decision.

He stood slowly, but didn’t take your hand. Instead, he cautiously reached up with his uninjured arm, his hand sliding around to the back of your head while he leaned in. The man’s lips found - and rested against - your forehead, just at your hairline. Slipping your arms around his body, you hugged him tightly, the two of you standing silently in your living room. 

He finally spoke up, stepping back even though he was hesitant to pull his hand away. “Good. Because I’m really fucking tired. And even though I did hurt my arm at work, running around on all fours last night didn’t help.” 

You laughed at his words - you couldn’t help yourself - and let Frankie lead you back into the bedroom. He closed the door behind the two of you, the room getting darker. “Do you need to be up at any specific time? I don’t want to keep you from -”

“No.” He shook his head. “Is it alright if I take my jeans off? I don’t want you to think I’m trying to… hint at anything.” 

“You could take all of your clothes off right now, and I think I’d be too tired to do anything about it.” You yawned then, as though your body was trying to prove a point. “Get comfortable. Whatever you need.” 

He hesitated but then undid the button on his jeans, sliding them down his legs. You followed suit, changing from the outfit you’d put on to go to the hospital back into pajamas. Only a minute or so later, the two of you were in bed, Frankie laying on his left side and you in front of him, facing the man. 

It was quiet for a few minutes, both of you relaxing into the bedding. What a fucking morning. When you felt him running a hand over your arm, you opened your eyes and met his, Frankie’s face only inches away. “I was really worried today, when Pope told me what happened?” He wet his lips, tongue visible for a split second. “He told me as soon as I came back. And then you didn’t answer when I called, and …” 

You believed him - and because you believed him, it made you feel worse about your overreaction earlier. How could I have thought he… “I’m fine. I’m right here, and now that I know I’m in the right place, I can …” You sighed. “I’m going to be alright, Frankie. I’m going to figure this out.” 

“Yeah, you will.” He leaned closer, brushing his lips against yours. “Because now you’ve got me around.” 

—  

You woke up late afternoon, the rumble of your stomach loud and almost painful. But Frankie still slept beside you, his face relaxed and smooth. 

He smelled like the forest - like cedar and the cypress trees and the dirt that he’d been running through the previous night, and you realized that he hadn’t even showered before coming to see you. That despite his fatigue, he’d gotten into his truck to come find you immediately after being dropped off by Pope and before doing anything else. Oh, Frankie.

You watched him silently, his breathing deep and even, and you tried to figure out how you’d missed everything pointing toward the fact that he was a wolf - and that his friends knew. 

There’d been signs - the scarring on his arm, the things that the guys had said and done in your presence, Frankie’s own admission that he needed to be careful when it came to his behavior with you. You wondered if your attraction to him had just blinded you to the truth, or if the fact that you’d never actually encountered a wolf before was the issue - and you’d just assumed, despite knowing better - that all of them would be like the ones you hunted, even as humans. 

You’d only known him for a month, but Frankie seemed absolutely normal in all the ways that mattered, and that was especially true after learning how much he’d been through since getting bitten. And he had no one. He did this on his own, and … 

“Your stomach is going to eat itself.” His voice thick with sleep, you watched the man’s lips lift into a smile, his eyelids opening halfway. “You should do something about that.” 

“Are you hungry?” He nodded almost immediately, humming with the motion. “I can make breakfast. I know it’s late, but it’s quick.” 

“That’s fine.” He opened his eyes fully then, staring at you. “I haven’t eaten since last night.” Frankie sighed. “When I’m… out there, I have to eat something. I usually do it at the beginning of the night, and then by the end I’m exhausted and hungry again, so…”

“I didn’t even think of that.” I definitely don’t want to know what he’s eating out there. Biting your lip, you frowned. “Doesn’t that fuck with your human digestion?” 

“It did. That’s why I do it when I first shift over. Gives me more time to get it out of my system before I change back.” 

“Does it hurt?” You reached over, taking a deep breath as you placed your hand on his arm. “Changing? How does -”

“It’s not comfortable.” He raised and lowered his shoulders in a shrug, never looking away from you. “I’m not sure what it’s supposed to feel like, because I’ve never …” He paused. “I’ve never had anyone to ask.”

“Tomorrow.” You nodded, eyes on him. “You’ll talk to Ashley tomorrow, and then you won’t be alone anymore, Frankie.” 

“I want to kiss you.” You heard the emotion in his voice, Frankie shifting on the mattress. “But I don’t -”

“Did you at least brush your teeth this morning?” It wasn’t the time for jokes, but you felt it was a legitimate question, especially since you’d just talked about him eating as a wolf. But Frankie’s reaction was with a genuine smile - the man’s eyes widening.

“Yes. First thing I do when I get back every time. It -”

You moved before he could finish the sentence, closing what little space was left between you. 

When your mouths met, you weren’t thinking of anything but Frankie - of the fact that he was right there, in front of you - that he’d been worried about you, and that he trusted you enough to bare so many important parts of himself even after he had an idea that you might have come to Florida to harm him. 

You kissed him hard, trying to pour everything into it - understanding and concern and emotion, and by the time he’d parted his lips, waiting for you to take initiative to deepen the kiss, you were crying, tears leaking down your cheeks and likely dropping onto his face.  

His eyes were wet, too, and when you separated and opened yours, you reached up to swipe beneath one of his with your thumb. “Why are you crying?” 

“Because it feels good to be honest with someone.” He laughed, turning his face toward the pillow. “After three fucking years, I can finally… be myself with someone that wasn’t there.” 

“It’s going to feel good to tell you too, Frankie.” You closed your eyes. “For as long as I can remember, it’s just been me and Alec and his mom that were in on the whole thing, and it’s been so goddamn lonely.” 

“Well why don’t we get up?” He pushed up onto one elbow, looking down at you. You stared at him, eyes locked on the way this unruly curls fell over his forehead and his eyes warmed, the man’s stubbled cheeks going round when he smiled. He looks so much better now. Not as tired. Not as … upset. “And you can tell me more about yourself and what brought you here?” 

“How do you like your eggs, Frankie?” You sat up and stretched, yawning. “And how many do you want?”

“As long as they’re not raw, I honestly don’t care right now.” He reached over, running his hand slowly up and down your back. “And I could probably eat a full dozen, but we’ll stick with … six - as long as that’s alright.” 

Assuring him that it was, you climbed out of bed and made your way into the kitchen. Frankie followed, but moved past you and into the living room. “You can look through my notes if you want. It might help you understand a little more.” 

“Can you talk while you cook?” He picked up a stack of pictures, flipping through them. “Seems like you’ve got a lot to say.” 

“I do. And yes.” You pulled eggs and butter from the fridge, reaching for one of the pans in the cupboard next to the stove. “I can talk while I cook, Frankie.” 

— 

A little under two hours later, you’d finished eating, and you were most of the way through explaining your family’s history - and your search for the Chaos line. It had been an interesting conversation, because despite the fact that Frankie was a wolf, he knew nothing about the line, the history of it - or your family. 

He’d listened intently, the man interjecting and asking questions in a few places, waiting for your patient answers. He was shocked that there were so many people that knew of the existence of wolves, and that the networks ran so deep, especially since he and his friends had searched for answers for so long, and came up with nothing. 

“It helps that we’ve been at it for so many years, I’ll be honest.” Sipping your second cup of coffee, you sighed. “We have contacts. We had information. And even though the wolves weren’t willing to work with us anymore, they were aware of us, and sometimes … they reached out to tell us we were way off base or that they’d gotten wind of something. They just didn’t want to be involved.”

“Until Ashley.” He swallowed the last of his coffee, standing and walking into your kitchen. “And Alec.” 

“Yes. I had no idea about them being together until the day before our first flight, which is when I found out everything.” You stood, too, carrying your plate into the kitchen and setting it in the sink. “I’ve gotten so used to the cover story, Frankie, that it’s … it’s easier to stick with that when I meet people. Who’s going to believe me if I tell the truth? I’m usually only in a city for a couple months at a time and then I’m gone. It doesn’t matter who I am or what I’m doing, and even when I meet someone I’m interested in, it’s just casual, so …”

“You don’t have to explain that to me.” He leaned against the counter, holding his injured arm. “I obviously don’t tell anyone either. And that’s one of the reasons starting something with you was … perfect.” Was? “A couple months? Hooking up? It’s not serious, we can have fun, and then go our separate ways. I never lied about who I was, I just … left part of it out. I didn’t like doing it, but… it made sense.” 

“You’re not mad?” 

“I was pretty goddamn upset when you were pointing a gun at me, yeah. But I understand, especially now. And I understand why you had to lie to me, too. This line has been causing you problems, and it sounds like they’re causing other people problems, too. And here?” He wrinkled his nose, annoyance flashing across his face. “Whoever this other wolf is is causing me problems now. I have to be way more careful when I’m running because even though it’s being downplayed as gators or panthers … the police are looking for something else.” 

That was news to you. Even with all of your research and reaching out to contacts, you hadn’t been able to find out much in the way of what Tampa’s law enforcement and animal control were doing in the wake of the attacks. “Seriously?” 

“Yes. Will and Benny get a lot of ‘em in the bar, and you know Benny … he talks to everyone. They hear a lot of what civilians don’t.” Frankie shook his head, absently reaching up to push his hair back and away from his face. “I’ve been trying to figure out who it could be, too. Been trying to catch the wolf during the full moon, but so far … they haven’t come to the area where we camp. And there’s no fucking pattern, so it -” 

“It’s a male wolf.” You crossed your arms, too. “Ashley was clear about that. Said he was huge and kind of clumsy, like he’s new at it.” You winced. “And that’s another reason why I thought you, especially paired with the scar, which meant you hadn’t been born into it, and …” 

“Makes sense.” He swallowed, eyeing you. “I’ve never hurt a human as the wolf. And like I said, someone goes with me every month. I know it’s them. I know their scents. I’ve never wanted to go after someone, except this other wolf.” He straightened up, squaring his shoulders. “I killed enough people while I was deployed and then after, I’m done. I’ve already told the guys that if I ever fuck up, one of ‘em needs to make sure I never do it again.” No. Not him. 

“Frankie -”

“No. This,” he pointed at his arm, his expression angry. “This doesn’t get to change who I am and who I want to be. I can’t help what happened to me, but I can make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else, and that I don’t fucking hurt anyone else because of it.” You stepped forward, laying a hand on  his chest. His heartbeat pounded beneath it, and when you murmured his name, you closed your eyes, breathing slowly. It won’t come to that.

“I believe you. I… don’t want to think about that, but …” He raised a hand and covered yours with it, squeezing. “So what do we do now? Do we tell the guys that it’s not a secret anymore? I can quit the shit with the book now, but if we don’t let them in on the fact that I know …” 

“We can, if you want. Pope’s been trying to tell me that I shouldn’t lie to you, but …” He laughed. “Would you have believed me?”

“I would have. But anyone else? No.” You leaned in, grinning. “Luckily for you, I’m me. And I believe you, and I’m so glad that I know, because now I can … do what I need to do without worrying about hiding anything from you.” 

“Now you know why I had to be so careful with you. Why that night, when I bit your neck?” He moved his hand to your throat, fingertips circling over your skin. “I was worried I broke skin. I don’t know what the rules are, or if I can transmit this when I’m human, but I’ve been so careful about biting, and I just…”

“The person that bit you was human when it happened, right?” 

“I’m not sure. I thought … when he launched himself forward, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. His eyes looked yellow and his face just looked strange, but it was the middle of the day, and … I figured it was just stress.” He stepped back, shaking his head. “Makes no sense.”

“Some wolves can change at will.” Your heart ached for Frankie - and for the years he’d spent feeling alone in the changes he was experiencing. “Maybe he was one of them. Ashley can tell you more, I don’t … I don’t know specifics, but I think it’s more common in the wolves that are born into it.” You shrugged. “I could be wrong.” 

“Seriously?” He glanced down at himself, frowning. “A couple times, when I’ve gotten really worked up, it’s felt … I’ve thought that maybe I might be feeling …” He looked back up at you. “There was a bar fight once, at one of Benny’s matches? And even though I wasn’t involved, it was like I could feel myself changing. Pope said my eyes flashed, too, looked like they were gold.”

“They did that the first night we met. And then the day of my first flight, and then again this morning. They turned gold, Frankie. I thought it was just a trick of the light, but …” Three times? With me? After he said it happened before when he was worked up? “Maybe you’re one of the ones that can change, too.” 

“Maybe.” He smiled, his expression growing hopeful. “And now we have a month to figure shit out.” 

— 

Frankie left a little while later, telling you that he needed to go home and shower, but that you were more than welcome to come over later that night. You declined, though, reminding him that he needed to work the following day, and that getting more sleep wasn’t a bad thing. 

He seemed disappointed but had agreed, the man kissing you goodbye before he walked out of your apartment, his good arm wound around you and your fingers threaded through his hair for the entire length of it. 

It felt good to be honest with someone, to have someone equally willing to confide in you and share the biggest secret they had. But that didn’t mean you were any closer to your goal of finding the other wolf. And that’s why I’m here. I can’t forget that. 

You showered and slept straight through that night, waking up early the next day and reaching out to Ashley to make sure it was still alright that you came by later that afternoon with Frankie. She confirmed that it was and so you sent him a message, telling him that he could stop at your place on his way home from the airport if he wanted, so that he didn’t have to backtrack twice.

That left the entire day for you to work - and you did, taking some of your pictures and papers outside and into the yard, letting the sunlight warm your skin while you pored over what you already knew.

The only pattern you could see was that the wolf wasn’t returning to previous sites. You crossed off all of the ones he’d already been to on the map, noticing that even though they weren’t in any specific order, they seemed to be circling the city of Tampa. There aren’t many new ones left that have campsites. You frowned, tapping your pen on the map. 

A quick Google search told you that one green space that had been skipped was simply a forest, with nothing running through it aside from a highway. That’s out. So you looked elsewhere, nodding as your finger followed the map. 

Hillsborough had been on your shortlist for the 5th full moon, and the other two that remained seemed much more likely for the upcoming month. Upper Hillsborough was the least likely, because even though it had hiking trails, there were no real campgrounds within it. Hilochee had a few options, but it was small, meaning that there was little room to hide. But there is water. And plenty of trees. 

The final option was Green Swamp, and that’s where the RV was parked. But there are so many campsites. And so much ground to cover. And … It seemed almost hopeless, because even if Frankie helped, he could only be in one place at a time. And if we’re in two places, he can’t exactly … fuck. 

He wouldn’t be able to call you and tell you if he found anything. If Ashley wasn’t pregnant, then Alec and I could split up and go to two different places and … But you stopped that thought there, reminding yourself that Alec was injured, and wouldn’t be doing any sort of hunting for the foreseeable future. So it’s just me. And if this lead slips away, then … I’m back to square one. 

You made a few more notes and circled some things on the maps, but by the time you decided to break for lunch, you were frustrated - and worried about Alec… and what Frankie meeting Ashley would mean. 

So you took the afternoon off, trying to distract yourself with a movie. 

It worked - until Frankie texted you and said he was on his way. You replied with a thumbs up and then messaged Ashley to let her know you’d be leaving soon, asking if you could bring anything. 

She said no, so you gathered up your stuff and went outside to wait for Frankie, locking your front door behind you. He pulled up a little while later, the man leaning out the driver’s side window and waving, his eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses and the ballcap pulled low over his brow. “Good afternoon.” 

“Hey, you.” Opening the passenger side door, you slid into the seat and reached over, laying your hand on his leg. “How’s the arm? How were your flights?”

“It’s better. Still sore, but I’ll be alright.” He put the truck in reverse, reaching behind you to brace himself while he turned his head to look out the back window. “And flights were fuckin’ great. The weather was perfect today.” Once he was in motion again, Frankie squeezed the back of your neck briefly and then returned his hand to the steering wheel. “I thought I’d feel like shit today. But I feel… lighter.” Glancing over, he nodded. “ Feels good.” 

“I’m happy.” You were - genuinely, and when you rolled the window down and let the breeze in on your side, you nodded too. “And I’m excited for you to meet Ashley, Frankie. I hope she has answers.” 

That time, when he reached for your hand and brought your knuckles to his lips, he didn’t stop himself from kissing them … and he didn’t let go of your hand afterward, either. 

— 

tag list coming soon!

[nevermoreconfessions]

can it be said red is a sensitive person now after that horrible display of immaturity and lack of personal accountability last night or would it still be considered hate and question whether 'i like the comic' ?

Trigger Warning. This post involves sensative topics.

Below is a detailed explanation from my perspective of the "Discord Situation," as someone who was actively witnessing it.

No, it's not hate. No, it's not a question on if you "like" the comic. It's criticism. It's valid. It's needed. Please do not misconstrued my rule. Thank you.

Okay, with that out if the way, let's talk about it, because there's a lot of people who don't really understand what happened. Let's break that down, first.

Note: I will not provide screenshots at this time. I don't want anybody to send hate in anybody's way. Please respect that.

I'll provide the facts first and my opinions later because there's a lot of misinterpretation on all sides.

In a separate Nevermore-based server, an 18/19 year old Nevermore Discord person sent NSFW content in an all-ages server. The Mods were informed about this via heavily censored screenshots that blocked the users of the victims and the NSFW content itself.

Upon hearing this, the Mods banned the accused. The accused appealed, saying that they "didn't know" that it was an all-ages server; the Mods relented and unbanned the Accused based upon the fact that the "evidence" was heavily censored, and to them, the accused seemed genuinely embarrassed and remorseful.

This all led to last night.

Last night, the Accused spoke up in West Common Room. In response, someone who was involved in the accusation made a public response, asking why a "known pedo" was unbanned. Thus, a lot of people who were unaware of the situation were suddenly made aware with a very limited amount of information: that a "pedophile" was in the server.

Red and the Mods step in, because holy shit.

Multiple people begin asking what's happening. Many get emotional. Many start throwing names and fighting. It was hectic.

Worse: evidence was thrown into the server that the Mods were not aware of. Again, the Mods were only handed heavily censored evidence, and when they spoke to the accused, there wasn't enough solid proof to made a move.

Okay. Things go severely south from here.

Red starts stressing out; it was a breakdown live on text. Multiple people are attacking her, the Mods, and other people stepping in. The words "bitch," "shut the fuck up," and others were tossed around.

Red says a lot of bad things that are inexcusable, as did plenty of other people. It was immature.

Eventually, the Mods get all of the evidence that people were throwing into the server, plus more behind the scenes. They were all on the consensus that the Accused did, actually, know the ages of the people in the server and still sent inappropriate content. They took measures and banned them.

Now, things calm down. Flynn handled things pretty well, based on what I saw her say. Granted, I logged off for a hot minute due to being overwhelmed. She handled it with grace, explained what was happening, and answered questions for full transparency.

Everything is now "settled" in the sense that things have calmed down, and people are back to talking about random things.

Okay. Time for my opinions, and these might be controversial.

First of all, this should've been done in private. It's such a triggering conversation that multiple people were uncomfortable with; there were attacks made on Red and Flynn, as well as others who tried to dispel the situation.

I've got some related trauma. I'm not going to talk about it. With that being said, it was all hard for me to read and witness.

Second, Red was wildly inappropriate with her response. She said awful things. So did multiple other people. Calling her a "pedophile defender" was... a lot. She was under the (incorrect) assumption that the Accused was, well, just really fucking stupid and made a terrible mistake. Thus, she lashed out.

She should not have said the things she said, but on the other hand, being called a "Pedophile Defender" would send me into a spiral, too. This isn't me defending her, by the way, I think she was terribly immature, like you said.

Red needs to apologize. I mean, really apologize; she needs to realize what she said was wrong, despite it being said in a blind fit of stress and anger. Emotions are not an excuse.

But, let's be honest here, a lot of the people calling out the Mods were minors who, also, were in a blind rage. They couldn't see that this wasn't the right way to go about it. That's fine; I hope this is a learning moment for them.

I think the most severe mistake here was tossing accusations and evidence in the server that the Mods were never given. If they had been given that before, this situation probably wouldn't have happened.

I am speaking as someone who watched this all go down. If there is something that I got wrong, or if someone would like to add on, please do. This is complicated and I'm just a girl on the internet.

EDIT:

I'd like to also say thank you to the people that spoke up. I know it was hard, but you knew it was wrong and you called it out. While I do wish it hadn't exploded in the way it did, I truly mean it: thank you. You're braver than you know.

[youeverjustmarryabountyhunter]

Recently became obsessed with cowboy au's again so I did what any reasonable person would do and made a silly Clone Wars au for pure self indulgence.

Please enjoy my silly little headcannons and maybe one day I'll actually write the thing (I've said this several times before...but one day!)

•Usually with modern au's I try to justify why Jango has so many damn kids but not this time. The man just does okay? Also he's not attracted to women so like..who knows! My favorite plot point is Jango just has a bunch of kids and no one knows why and they just have to accept that

•Jango/Myles supremacy. They're married, thank you. Silas is their third wheel that's just always sorta there.

•Good dad Jango! Always good dad Jango. I just love him okay? It's like a little treat for myself.

•Ages are like...semi...cannon? For the clones the alphas are all adults, as are the commanders. After that, Rex, Kix, Jesse and whoever else I deem to be in that like age range- are 18/19/20. Domino squad, are teenagers. Tup, Dogma, Wooley, Comet are like..ranging from preteen's to 8. Boba is the baby at 3 years old. Don't ask me about Omega or the bad batch please I haven't decided what I'm doing with them yet, probably gonna make them Arla's kiddos like the other modern au of mine. These are also like..just a general guidelines of ages I haven't really fleshed anything out.

•Boba LOVES animals. It's a good thing they live on a farm. He just..befriends all of the animals even the ones that he isn't supposed to (raccoons) Jango nearly had a heart attack. Boba was fine though, just a little grumpy that Jango took him away from the raccoon.

•It's a miracle Boba knows how to walk because he's just constantly being carried/demanding to be carried. If he has the option to be in someone's arms he will be. Spoiled little thing. Honestly all of the Fett kids are probably spoiled, but they like to tease Boba about it cause he's the baby.

•Real talk though, I think Boba is a little sweety. He just loves his aliit(family) so much and wants to spend all his time with them.

•Mando'a is a language because I said so. Mandalorians are still a culture. That's just my go to for all modern au's tbh.

•Jaster is the best grandpa EVER. He's the reason they're all spoiled. Auntie Zam ALSO spoils them rotten. Uncle Bossk does as well it's just a lot less. Hondo...is Hondo let's be honest here. They're spoiled sure but Jango would really like to know WHERE Hondo got everything from (he would not like the answer)

•I haven't figured out how or anything but Codywan IS happening. Same with Blyla (is that Aayla and Bly's ship name?? Gonna pretend it is-)

•In the vain of keeping ages semi cannon Fennec is 19 and a farmhand 👌. She's like..not legally adopted but she might as well be. Jango's baby girl right there. Boba follows her around like a puppy and it only annoys her a little. She's definitely the reason he knows bad words let's be honest.

•I'm leaning towards most face tattoos are just birthmarks. As far as names go those are just their names. No one ever said Jango was good at naming things. Isn't there a comic in legends where they have a pet eel and it's name is just eel?

•Everything I know about 3 year olds comes from the times I have babysat actually 3 year olds and google. So in that spirit, Boba does have a paci in the art depicted below simple because I wanted to draw a pacifier- but Jango is also trying to ween him off it so he doesn't mess up his teeth.

This au has consumed me like..ugh I'm obsessed with it. There may or may not be a pinterest board just entirely dedicated to it. You don't understand how in love with this silly little au I am-

If you made it this far through the post- have some traditional art that may or may not get turned digital eventually! (There was one of Myles and Jango but I literally cannot decide on Myles hairstyle and couldn't erase it anymore for fear of ripping the paper so...)

Join me next time (maybe-) for when I inevitably think of more headcannons for this au.

In order: Jango and Boba, Jango braiding Fennec's hair, and Cody!

[vesselandmoon]

The Chalice

NSFW so please, 18+ for readers on this one. This has nothing to do with the main Sleep Token fic I've been working on, it's just smut for the sake of it I suppose. I wasn't going to post but @hookedhobbies has me trying to step out of my comfort zone haha. I appreciate it, truly. That being said, please read the content warnings and tags. If I forgot something, let me know and I'll add it.

CW: candle wax, rituals(sort of), bondage/shibari, spanking, cum eating, body worship, ice, sexually explicit content, breath play, blood play and knife things(mild), creampie, deep throat, edging/orgasm denial(mild), marking by way of paint, biting, raw sex, size difference (kind of)

When Celie is allowed to be an altar for an offering to Vessel, she gets pulled into a situation she didn't expect.

When Aracelia agreed to partake in a ritual, she thought she knew what to expect. She was aware of the terms well ahead of time. Given every opportunity to back out and yet there she was, standing at the back door of a club in a dark alley. A single light over the door was more ominous than she liked, but she knocked anyway, the hollow metallic sound echoing from brick walls.

A tall man in a mask opened the door and she flinched. III. The white and gold mask hid his eyes in shadow but the mouth was missing. The entire lower half of the mask was gone and instead everything was covered in deep blue body paint. She’d seen pictures of him before with bright red hair, but it was black now but just as messy and wild. Everything about his outfit felt tight. Restricted. Leather pants with lacing up the sides and a corset that bared more deep blue paint.

He’d been the one she’d had the most contact with in terms of discussing hard limits but seeing him face to face (so to speak) was more than a little intimidating. He cast his eyes down at her, then around the alley before moving aside so she could enter.

Inside was cold and dark, with only a faint red glow from lights along the ceiling. III closed the door, plunging them into darkness. He put a hand to the middle of her back and led her forward, guiding her through the narrow hallway. His hand was hot through her shirt, sending a shiver down her spine as the chill in the building had caused goosebumps to rise on her arms.

From somewhere far off she could hear the faintest music but III guided her into a room well before they got close enough to hear what was being played. Inside was silent and sent shivers though her for a completely different reason.

Intricate rigging in the center of the room told her that the bondage she’d been asked about referred to shibari and it would be likely that she’d be unable to move. A circle was drawn on the floor with symbols she didn’t recognize. Oh, so they were really taking it seriously as a ritual. Candlelight cast long shadows of other figures in the room. II and IV, who stood stone still, watching her.

There was an altar pushed against a wall, already set out with several instruments. A silver goblet, a dagger with a curved blade, unlit red candles, a bucket of ice, and coils of rope.

“Do you understand your role in this ritual?” II asked. The lower half of his face was coated in gold paint under his black half mask. Intense grey blue eyes followed her as she placed her bag on the floor near the altar.

“I am earth, right?” she said, looking to III who gave her a confirming nod.

II wound a length of red rope around his fist. His arms were bare to the elbow where his sleeves had been pulled up and skin hidden under the same gold paint that adorned his face.

“Earth is usually unmoving,” II said. “Solid. Centered. A balance between life giving, nurturing, mother,” his eyes slid to her belly, then back to meet hers, “and the unrelenting destructive force of… a woman scorned.” He grinned.

Aracelia wondered how much he expected her to live up to either of those ideas. She couldn’t have children; it was one of the reasons she’d been chosen. Hell, it was one of the reasons she’d considered what they offered in the first place. With all the other hoops she had to jump through to be here, this meeting had no consequences. At least none that she foresaw.

On the other hand, she’d not have the rage to be his scorned woman. She had no ill feelings toward any of them, but she kept her mouth shut. If they chose to see her as earth in this equation, she’d not argue.

“What do you prefer to be called?” III asked. “Aracelia?”

She shook her head. “Celie is fine.”

“Let’s get to this. Strip down.”

IV chuckled and II let out an annoyed sigh.

Why did it have to be to awkward? She was going to be nude, it was part of it, but stripping herself in front of them with absolutely no easing into it had her cheeks flushed. Celie tucked her clothes away in her bag and turned to face them, feeling the urge to cover herself but they were already eying her like a piece of meat and her mouth went dry.

“Come,” II motioned and IV began to circle the room. She could hear his leather jacket as he moved, his bare torse underneath painted red that extended all the way up his neck and face to disappear under his half mask. When he came into view again a smile played on his lips, their true color showing through cracks in the crimson.

Celie closed her eyes as II began to wrap her arms in ropes. The soft dragging across her skin along with the cool air on her skin made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. She flinched a little as III came up behind her and began to gather her black curls to the crown of her head. His fingertips through her hair had her breath catching in her throat.

II took his time in wrapping the ropes, binding her arms so they bent at the elbow while III tied her hair in a messy but secure bun. His hands slid down her back and he nipped at her neck from behind when II shooed him away.

“Patience,” II scolded and III glared at him before joining IV in watching as Celie was bound. Every moment that passed removed more and more her ability to move as II connected her wrists behind her neck. He created a collar to bind her wrists to her throat, the intensity in his eyes speaking to his own self-restraint.

“Watch it,” IV growled as II lingered too long around Celie’s breasts, the backs of his fingers lingering on her nipples which were already erect from cold. And partially III’s bite to her neck. It had made her shake but II was intent on taking his time. Meanwhile, III and IV were practically pacing.

II was enjoying himself. A faint smirk on his lips. This wasn’t just about teasing her, it was about testing III and IV. Pushing the limits of their self-control. Once he had her bound down to her hips he motioned the others to assist him in getting her suspended at the right height and position.

Most of her weight was on her hips and shoulders but it wasn’t uncomfortable. She was looking down at the floor, back arched, legs apart. Her head was a little lower than her ass but not to the point that she could feel the blood rushing to her face. II knew what he was doing and she wondered how many of these rituals had taken place before she came around.

“Like a falling angel,” II said, tracing a line down her side, across the ropes that bound her thighs. “But I don’t like this.” He let her hair fall loose from III’s bun, then brushed it gently away from her face. One lst element he added was something akin to a chain dog choker which hung loose around her neck. Admiring his work, II backed away and motioned to III. “She’s all yours. Don’t ruin her before we even get started properly.”

III didn’t reply. He circled Celie like a shark, eyeing every inch of her. If she was earth, the blue of his paint meant he was water. III took the silver bucket of ice and placed a piece her throat, eliciting a small gasp. His hands were so hot they melted the ice on her skin, dragging it along the curve of her breast. Water dripped to the floor and II grumbled.

It didn’t throw III off, however, he got on his knees and used his tongue to remove the excess water from her skin. The mixture of cold from the ice and heat from his mouth made her shiver. He was like a thirsting man in the dessert, soft moans escaping his throat as he sucked her nipples, his tongue encircling them where the water gathered.

Blue paint smeared across her breasts from his lips. Every inch of her body craved more and yet the other two watching and not participating made her feel vulnerable. III’s massive hands slid up her throat, teasing her mouth with an ice cube which she gratefully accepted. His finger slipped in as she did, the taste of his body paint making her grimace.

He chuckled against her chest, easing up until he could kiss her. A piece of ice pressed against her lips and she took it greedily, trying to erase the taste of paint. His hair tickled her cheeks as she tried to deepen the kiss but he sat back on his heels with a mischievous look in his eye.

When he stood she could see his cock crushed against his body in his tight leather pants. He disappeared behind her with the bucket of ice, a pleased hum as he saw that she was wet. Celie’ blushed and bit her lip, unwilling to look at II and IV.

An ice cube against the bare skin of her pussy made her twitch as she tried to pull her legs together. Goosebumps covered her skin but III wasn’t concerned. He pushed an ice cube into her and she gasped at the sensation.

“Quiet her, would you?” III muttered and without question IV stepped in and dropped to his knees, kissing her so hard her teeth cut into her lower lip. Blood trickled from the little cut and he quickly sucked it away, locking eyes with her in a way that made her feel he was staring into her soul.

IV grabbed the chain around her neck and pulled, tightening it somewhat before II caught him.

“That’s mine,” II warned and IV stopped kissing her long enough to bare his teeth at II but stopped the moment II took a step toward him. IV cut his piercing blue eyes at II but released the chain, dragging his nails along her sides instead.

Celie moaned into his mouth, eyes gone wide as III began pushing piece after piece of ice into her. His pace was rapid and her insides already felt full of ice. IV grabbed her face and pushed his tongue past her teeth as III kept stuffing her with ice until water dripped into a puddle on the floor. Having one cube was a nice sensation but there were so many she wondered if it was safe.

III poised his cock to enter her and she tried to protest, to ask if there was room, but he pushed in and ice slid out around him, skittering across the floor. Celie’s eyes rolled back and her breath caught in as a whimper in her throat.

IV laughed darkly, thumbing her nipples. “Keep quiet and take him.”

“Fuck,” III moaned, grabbing her hips and keeping himself deep inside her. IV tilted his head, looking down toward her belly where he placed his hand.

“I can feel how full she is,” IV said, tongue flicking across his lower lip. With every thrust the ice melted around III’s cock which was blindingly hot mixed with the ice. Every inch inside of her was overwhelmed with sensations but she didn’t know if she wanted him to stop. They’d discussed a safe word long before she’d shown up but god she didn’t want to use it.

Her muscles tensed and released as she tried to squirm against the ropes. She wanted to touch, to grab and claw and stroke but was unable and it drove her crazy.

IV shuffled closer to her belly, kissing a line from her belly button to her clit where he greedily lapped at the water that gushed from her every time III drove his cock into her. It was too much all at once and she neared orgasm only for III to bury deep in her and stop moving.

“Listen to her whimper,” IV teased, locking his hands over his head and around her back, pulling her uncomfortably. “She takes you so well.”

“Fuck off and wait your turn,” III said, pushing IV away with his foot. He grabbed the ropes at Celie’s hips and began pounding into her without mercy. Her head swam and he pulled her higher to meet him and the blood rushed to her face. IV cursed at III and rolled out from under Celie, retreating to II.

III swatted Celie’s ass with a sharp strike and she cried out in pain but III groaned as her insides clenched tight around him with the impact.

“III,” II’s tone was dark, warning, but III was undeterred. He wrapped a hand around her throat and pulled her back into him, the ropes no longer holding her weight. Celie’s head fell back against his shoulder words lost on her. He supported her with one hand and struck her again with the other. Tears pricked her eyes and his teeth found her neck but they caught the metal collar, scraping against it. “III, that’s enough,” II demanded and III shot him a bird.

II wound a rope around his fist and stepped up to stop III an instant before III buried his cock deep inside her, his head pounding against her cervix as he came. Celie could feel it pumping inside her as II quickly grabbed her from III and guided her gently back down until the ropes held her once more.

The floor between III’s boots was soaking wet but somehow he’d managed to keep every drop of cum inside of her. Panting he stepped away, cock still twitching. Her orgasm eased away with much frustration.

“That was too far,” II said but III rolled his eyes.

“She didn’t safe word,” he said.

Celie’s heart was pounding, breath escaping her in shaky exhales. Her insides were on fire, her ass throbbing with every beat of her heart from where he struck her. III knelt way down to lift her chin and kiss her tenderly, drawing his thumb across her cheek.

“You took me so fuckin’ well,” he whispered as IV lit one of the red candles on the altar. III’s eyes cut over to IV. “Water has a crushing force, but fire consumes.”

Without explaining he stepped away, hand kneeding his cock through his pants as IV circled her. Candlelight flickered across his mask, several streaks of paint smeared down his torso from sucking water from her body. He licked his lips and stopped in front of her, freeing his cock and poising it at the level of her mouth.

“Maybe this’ll keep you quiet while you get used to what I have to offer,” IV mused, cupping his hand under her throat as she took him between her lips. “Just don’t bite me and maybe we can be friends,” he teased, a rumble in his chest as she sucked the head of his dick, swirling her tongue around it.

If anything, she didn’t want to walk away saying she could have done more. Not that she cried at being spanked. Hot wax down her back caught her off guard and she tensed, arching her back and taking his cock straight to her throat. She could feel the bulge against his palm and her eyes watered so bad she couldn’t see but she could feel his knees almost buckle.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, trying to laugh his way through it. “I’m not comin’ in your mouth love, don’t go so hard, fuck.”

“It’s not her fault you can’t handle some deep throat,” III teased. “She’s so pretty with tears streaking her cheeks.”

IV swatted at III’s hand when he got too close. “You had your turn.”

“And you were practically sucking my dick when I did,” III shot but II stepped between them, pushing III back.

“Don’t get greedy, IV,” II said but IV dripped more wax down Celie’s spine, the crimson beads racing down the curve of her spine before drying. She moaned in a mix of pain and pleasure, clenching and unclenching her fists since it was all she could do.

The scent of his leather jacket was overwhelming in her nose as he pushed in and out of her mouth at a leisurely pace. Her cheeks spread, throat expanded almost to the point of pain but the wax on her skin took some of the attention away from that.

“Don’t damage her larynx,” II said.

“I’m going slow, aren’t I?” IV snapped. “Fuck sake II, you act like I’m trying to suffocate her on my cock. She can’t breathe, she’s fine. It’s that right, sweetheart?”

Celie hummed with the head of his dick against the opening of his throat and his head fell back with a shaky moan. One hand found the back of her head, twisting into her hair as she took him deep, saliva welling up around her lips. He pushed too far, past what she was expecting and she gagged, the heaving sensation accompanied by tears streaking down to her chin.

“Sorry love,” IV said as II was about to scold him. He pulled out of her mouth, placing his thumb on the middle of her tongue. “Look at me.” She obeyed and he bit his lips as he looked down at her, mouth open as she looked at him through dark lashes. “Perfect. Fuckin’ perfect. I think we should keep her.”

“Add your offering and fuck off,” III said, taking IV’s place while he moved around behind her.

Taking III’s cock wasn’t going to work the same way as taking IV’s. It was too damn thick and the head wouldn’t be able to push past her mouth. Still she did what she could considering her mouth was stretched around him. How the hell had she taken him inside of her? The ice must have messed with her perception.

III rubbed the back of her neck, massaging into the hair at the base of her skull as she tasted what remined of their combined juices and water from his skin. She wished she could have come for him, but he didn’t seem to mind that she hadn’t.

IV was in to hurry to fuck her like III had been. He was too involved with dripping wax across her ass cheeks, adding to the burn of IV’s spanking.

“Don’t you fucking hurt her,” IV warned as Celie gagged a little on III.

“Says you leaving welts with your wax.” III arched a brow.

“Act like I don’t see these handprints. You bruised her.”

“Focus,” II said. He was growing impatient and frustrated, hands tight behind his back but she could see the hunger in his eyes. Why hadn’t he joined? Was there a rule she wasn’t aware of? IV had cut in on III’s time but perhaps his role as fire allowed for it?

Achingly slow, IV sank two fingers into Celie’s pussy, testing and teasing.

“Don’t push out my offering,” III warned.

“I just want a taste.”

Celie could hear IV groan and suck his fingers before the soft head of his cock pressed against her. Taking him wasn’t as overstimulating as III but feeling raw skin inside of her set her on fire. No intense heat, no intense cold. Just the velvety sensation of skin on skin and if she wasn’t mistaken, a piercing. Hard and unforgiving but rubbing all the right places.

III in her mouth, IV inside of her and holding perfectly still, hot wax gliding along the ropes. She needed him to move. Needed him to thrust and take her as III had but he buried himself and kept still until she moaned, frustrated, against III’s dick.

“This isn’t the time for cock warming,” II said.

“What happened to patience?” IV teased. He spread her ass apart to get a better view. “Hmm II, you should see how swollen her pretty little cunt is. I think you used too much ice, III.”

“I am going to make you regret this,” II said but III pulled away.

“C’mon,” III said, motioning II to a position at Celie’s head. He hesitated only a moment before stepping up. “And quit being a buzz kill already.”

Celie could take II like she took IV but there was a sense of desperation as if sucking him hard would make IV move inside of her instead of sitting still. Her thighs tried to tighten around his hips to push him into movement but to no avail and she was almost to the point of tears to get some sort of relief.

“My god,” II breathed, wrapping the chain around his fist. “IV, if you don’t start moving she’s going to devour me whole.”

“Who can’t handle head now?” IV smirked and III slapped Celie’s ass again, making her cry out and jump. “Mother fucker,” IV moaned as Celie’s pussy clenched around him at the shock of pain. “Evil bastard, get the hell away.” Wax flung across the floor as IV splashed it toward III, putting the candle out by accident.

II tightened the collar, cutting off air as his cock also pushed into her throat. Without warning, she had no time to take a breath first and her lungs were already burning. Her head swam and dizziness overtook her as she tried to swallow around him to no avail.

She squirmed, feeling a little afraid that she might pass out but as if on cue, IV drew back and pounded into her at the exact moment that II released the chain and pulled his cock away, allowing air to flood into her lungs. The rush was incredible, her pupils dilated, elation rushing into every inch.

“Whatever you just did, do it again,” IV said and II chuckled, pleased with himself.

“Ah, fire needs assistance from air?” II said darkly. IV drew his fingers in a heart shape over one of the handprints on her ass. She got the feeling they were leaving marks all over her body. Not just in the form of welts, bruises, and minor burns, but in the colors of their body paint which had begun to smear from water and sweat.

Celie wanted to beg them to let her come. She’d already been so close but with II’s cock in her mouth she couldn’t ask. IV’s nails dragged down her back and she arched to meet him. He chuckled and kneeded her lower back. Why couldn’t he put those hands to better use? Her clit had been untouched since he sucked it earlier and his long smooth thrusts were driving her crazy.

The collar tightened, restricting her breathing. “Good girl,” II purred, stroking her cheek as he cut off her air. “Don’t struggle, I won’t hurt you. Do you feel your lungs burning? Hmm, your throat is struggling against my cock. Your body craves air, hm?”

“You say I’m evil for a smack on the ass?” III asked IV as he circled and got on his knees, kissing along Celie’s ribs. He pressed his lips to her sternum, hands cupping her breasts. “Her heart is pounding.”

Too many hands. Too many cocks. Too much sensation and not enough air.

Just when darkness eased into her vision, II let go and pulled out again but IV didn’t stop as she gasped for air.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” IV whimpered, his rhythm becoming almost frantic. He was shaking, she could feel it in his grip around her waist.

“Let go, IV,” II said calmly. “Come inside her, IV. Stop delaying the inevitable. Vessel will be here soon and our little chalice in nowhere near ready.”

“Shut up,” IV breathed and Celie panted.

“P-please don’t stop,” she begged, needing some form of release. If IV could keep going just a little longer she could finish and be ready for II. “Please.”

“Listen to her beg,” III said, taking one of her nipples in his teeth. It hurt, sending a jolt of pain to her belly. “She keeps that up and I might agree with IV to keep her.”

IV couldn’t handle the begging and his legs nearly buckled when he came, holding onto the ropes for support but Celie withered, letting her head hang. So fucking close all over again and she was shaking.

“Please,” she begged, tears in her voice.

“Sorry love,” III nipped at her neck. “It’s not your turn.”

II dragged his thumb across her lips, then wiped her tears away, leaving gold paint across her cheeks. “It’ll be worth it in the end, I promise. Hold out just a little longer.”

“Should we get the blood ritual ready?” IV asked breathlessly.

“Yes,” II replied. “I won’t make her suffer much longer.” He leaned in close to her pussy, breath hot on her skin, making her writhe. “You two took too much time. I don’t think she can handle more.”

“It’s okay, I’ll let you tie me up later,” III offered.

“You know, if we keep her, you can have your own fun later,” IV said. They kept referring to keeping her and while she wanted to know exactly what that meant, she’d have done anything they asked for relief.

Celie ached for him to fuck her but all she could hear was him jacking off behind her, the head of his cock grazing her every once in a while.

IV and III sat near Celie’s face, taking turns kissing her while they prepared the blade. They dragged the blade across their forearms just enough for a little blood to fall into the silver goblet that had been on the altar before.

“Are you afraid?” III asked, kissing a line from her jaw to her ear.

Celie couldn’t think clearly enough to know if she felt anything other than sexual frustration. All she could do was shake her head as the blade met the flesh under her right collarbone.

“Take a deep breath,” IV said. “Focus on, III. That’s my good girl.”

III cupper her face and kissed her as IV drew the blade across her skin. She hissed in pain but after IV collected the blood he pressed a clean cloth to the wound.

“Perfect,” he said, him and III peppering her face with kisses. She almost forgot that II was still stroking himself behind her, his soft moans lost in the ringing in her ears.

II barely got the head of his dick into her before he came, twitching and shuddering as he did. She wished she got more time with them. That she could have been free to indulge in them equally and that was enough to bubble up a mix of emotions in her. She knew she’d feel better if they had allowed her to come with them, but they seemed much more intent on making sure that didn’t happen.

Celie didn’t hear the door open, but she did hear it close, the others scattering as Vessel approached. The room fell into silence as II, III, and IV cleaned their wounds and took places around the circle.

Vessel got on one knee to look her in the eye but she couldn’t see anything past the multi eyed slits of his mask. His mouth was relaxed, giving nothing away as to what he was thinking or feeling. Even his footsteps were silent as he backed away. The only sound he made was the gentle tinkling of his necklaces when he moved.

He motioned and the others immediately encircled her, IV and III holding her in position as II untied her. They came off with surprising ease. III held her up as IV covered the floor with a plush mat. Gently III eased her to the floor and helped her to her back without spilling their offerings.

She became the altar.

Vessel’s black painted hands hovered barely over her skin as he knelt between her knees. The others sat around the circle in silence. Celie shuddered, feeling she was breathing too hard. For the first time she could see parts of her own body, smeared with red, gold, and blue paint. She wanted to touch herself or at least to clench her thighs tight together but Vessel put a knee between her legs, but not touching her.

He leaned over her, bracing on his hands, his necklaces tickling her belly.

II tasted the blood in the goblet and kissed Vessel, lingering as Vessel traced his fingertips across II’s jaw. III was next, pushing against Vessel, which elicited an amused chuckle from him as he gently pushed III away, a drop of blood dripping onto Celie’s throat. IV was last but he was just as greedy with Vessel as he had been with Celie, blood spattering down on her as he crushed his mouth against Vessel’s.

“You lost control with this one.” Vessel’s tone was soft when he looked down on Celie, his tongue slowly swiping the blood from her throat before kissing her. She couldn’t help but slip her hands under his hood, feeling his hair between her fingers as she pulled him close, desperate for anything he’d give her.

He hummed against her lips, then pulled away, indulging in her body with a line of kissed down her throat, across the marks from II’s chain. Lips feather light between her breasts, dragging across her belly in a way that made her whimper in desperation. She needed him. Needed relief.

She thought she was going to black out when his tongue entered her. The urge to grab him was overwhelming but III said that during this part she wasn’t supposed to touch him. II took her hands in his own from where he sat by her head. Vessel drank of them. His tongue delved deep, searching for his offering in quiet desperation.

Celie’s legs shook, the scent of blood and incense clung to Vessel and made her feel dizzy. Long shadows across the ceiling added to the sensation of the room spinning.

Vessel’s mouth was on hers again so fast she didn’t know what to expect, the taste of cum and blood on his lips. II let her go and she put her arms around Vessel’s neck.

He sat up and pulled her into his lap. His pants were pulled down just enough to show where the black paint smeared across his pale hips and she willingly slid down on him, enveloping him entirely. He was as desperate with his kisses as III had been drinking the water from her skin before. Black smears covered over the colorful ones the others had left as he ran his hands along her body.

The warmth of his skin, the way he caressed her, the desire in his kiss, brought tears to her eyes. She didn’t think she could get behind it being a ritual. She didn’t think she could see it as more than an intense sexual encounter but after what she’d been though, only to be treated so lovingly by Vessel was the closest thing she could attribute to a spiritual awakening.

“What a beautiful altar,” he whispered against her skin. “You were too rough with her,” he said, tracing the line of II’s chain around her throat to a place where she’d been bitten and a bruise had begun to form. His kiss was light and gentle, fingertips sinking into the soft flesh of her thighs, feeling his way around stretchmarks that made her wince.

Celie’s hands went to cover the marks but Vessel caught her wrists, pressing his thumbs into her palms. He shook his head.

“Don’t be insecure,” he said. “The nature of the body is imperfection, that’s what makes it beautiful.”

He rocked her on his hips and continued to caress her stretch marks, moving up her ribs to her sides which still stung from IV’s nails. Vessel’s teeth grazed her jaw and he kissed a line to the bite mark and gave her a gentle nip.

III had mentioned that sometimes Vessel liked to bite but that he’d not go too far. She wondered if he was holding back because she was already sore and marked by those who came before. He was being gentle but there was a deliberate motion to his hips. He wanted more. Every time he pushed into her drove her closer to the edge. Whether he was ready or not, she couldn’t wait any longer.

Begging had done no good before and there was no fighting the chills Vessel gave her. How did it seem that his hands, his mouth, was everywhere all at once? The taste of tears on his tongue confused her. Were they hers or his? The others melted away as her body began to cave to his touch.

He cradled the back of her neck and pulled her close, allowing her to cling to him as she was finally allowed release. While he wasn’t as vocal about it as the others, he kept her close when he came, biting her shoulder as he did.

Every ounce of energy left her body and she went limp against Vessel. Her head swam as the others closed in, muttering things too quiet for her to hear as they kissed her and Vessel on the cheeks.

“So, can we keep her?” III asked and IV swatted at his chest.

Vessel smirked down at Celie where she was practically asleep against him, arms curled in close to his chest. “That would be up to her.”

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for never coming home or writing letters?

Why, hello everyone. So, I am not usually the type to talk about stuff like this, so please bear with me if this isn't as coherent or easy to read as other posts here. It's just that after a younger friend of mine told me about this forum I got interested. Y'know, went some pent of feelings, get some outside perspectives… Might be nice.

So, I (M, late teens) don't live with my family. In fact, I haven't been for years. When I was in middle-school I had a, let's call it, 'revelation' that I just didn't feel happy at home. See, I don't wanna brag, but I've always had a certain talent for sorcery, and my parents did value that. Just… Not in a way I felt comfortable with, I suppose. Thinking back, the attention and expectations they placed on me felt suffocating. I was expected to invest a lot of my time into studying the family craft, specifically dark magic, which never really was my "thing" to begin with. And when they didn't have me study, they would have me fight exhibition duels against the heirs of other clans as a show of power. For a while, it felt like I had no control over my life whatsoever. I tried to lock myself in the manor's kitchen or run off into the woods to relief some stress by baking or feeding the forest animals, but… doing that would always net me severe scolding punishment. I'd rather not go deeply into that part.

I suppose one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I took the advice of a child even younger than I was and left the manor, traveling the continent with nothing but the clothes on my back until I managed to get myself enrolled in a magic academy far away from my family home. And, I'll be honest, I never really regretted doing so. Ever since that day, I've felt so much more in control of my own life, so much more alive than I ever did when I lived under my parents' roof. I've been able to make a name for myself using my magic the way I want to and specializing in the things I like, and I feel I've really done well for myself. In all honesty,nothing I've done would bring my clan name into disrepute, quite the opposite, actually! But… I wouldn't know how my parents think about that.

I haven't been in contact with them since I've left. Not even once. I've thought of sending letters, but I wouldn't know what to write. After all, even know that I'm fairly well-known as a sorcerer in my own right, I still have no intentions of inheriting the family estate or carrying on the legacy of dark magic our clan is known for. So if I tried to contact them, what would they do? Would they ignore my letters? Would they reply with anger? Would they send an envoy to attempt to retrieve me and bring me back? Frankly, I'm scared. I could probably fight any hired sorcerers they send my way off easily enough, but… That's not what I want. I don't want to go back. There's nothing I want to do less than go back to the way things used to be before.

I guess what I'm trying to say is… I never meant to cause my family grief. But lately, I can't help but wonder if that is what I'm doing. I was the only heir, after all. I am happy with the path I've chosen in life, and I'm convinced it's what I needed to do for my own sake. But I also find myself wishing I could share the happiness I've found away from them with the people I had to leave behind… And I hate the thought that they might be hurt because of me. And sometimes I wonder if I'm not a little at fault for how things turned out after all, in a way.

So… What do you people think? Please, don't hold back. I expect your honest feedback.

~L.