#i know i am not the first queer in my lineage i know it i know it but i dont know it who are you

[lamanwasright]

Screaming crying throwing UP RIGHT NOW thinking about all my queer ancestors that I'll never know about because we are generationally mormon so any hint at all of them being queer would have been shoved under the rug and their story would have been told differently when it was added to our genealogy I'm sorry they did that to you I'm sorry you're known only as this sanitized version of yourself and god the only times I wish there was an afterlife is when I think of meeting you as real family

[cmrosens]

Worldbuilding notes for queer normative fantasy societies... I have a lot of thoughts about this so here are some notes and questions around 3 of the main ones I have been thinking about recently.

1. How many different structures of formally recognised relationships are there outside of the monogamous spouse version?

If you want a society where relationships themselves are queered, moving away from a monogamous default, think about different forms of union and commitment and whether these can be legally recognised and what the legal/civil ramifications are.

Who recognises these relationships? What is the legal process to get them recognised? If there is no legal process then are we looking at a society where taxes are a communal responsibility and not levelled at individuals?

Is there freedom of movement and if so how much is affordable and feasible - does this have a bearing on queer people even in a queer normative world? What happens if the village is very small and has 3 queer people in it none of whom really like each other? Where do you go to find a partner if you can't travel far?

If the society thinks arranged marriages are normal and there is no concept of marrying for love, and no expectation of attraction only reasonable companionship, and you can have multiple spouses/formal partners for political reasons and to unite families (perhaps to formally team up and spread the cost of those communal taxes, etc) then you may end up with the situation of lots of different relationship structures and someone married off finally coming out as straight, and their formal partner wingmanning them to find someone else to be with.

2. Inheritance law and family connections

In a queer normative society, it would make sense for both biological kids and adopted or fostered kids to be equally accepted and no distinction drawn between them. This has extensive knock-on effects for how society is structured and

Legitimacy may not even mean anything in a society with multiple relationship structures. So how does this all work legally and socially and culturally and politically and economically?

First off: does it matter who your parents are and whether you have a firm grasp of your personal genealogy, or would people just give up on all that because it gets so muddy.

E.g.::::

"I am Bran son of Brom" means nothing when you actually mean, "I am Bran, my mother Ceris was the wife of Carl and she carried me to term and Brom didn't impregnate her, that was Roan, partner of Brom, but to be fair it might also be Carl because we can't really be sure on the timing there, and then Ceris and her other partner Sara both nursed me as a baby and then as a kid it was decided I would have more opportunities in life if I went to live with Brom and Roan and learned their trade, and then Brom as the higher earner and the one contributing most to the communal taxes thought he should be the one to formally adopt me, even though I still mostly lived with Ceris and Carl and Sara until I was 16, because then I would inherit more and be able to pursue a different career path and have money to travel, so when I say I am Bran son of Brom I mean only in the technical legal sense".

It also makes no sense here to say, "I am Bran son of Brom" and erase Ceris, Sara, Carl and Roan from that picture of yourself, particularly if the society is not patriarchal and therefore less likely to reckon lineage in a strict patrilineal way.

In this example, the implications of saying, "I am Bran son of Brom" are that you don't KNOW who your other connections are and you have had a childhood lacking in all the other communal connections others have had. You only know Brom. Were you hermits, living apart from society in a lonely, mountainous region somewhere? That would make sense. But people might still look at you once you say "I am Bran son of Brom" and wait a bit and then be like, "...Brom, and...??"

Like you wouldn't say that. You would instead say something like, "I am Bran of Seven Oaks" because the place is what everyone has in common, or you might say "I am Bran, of the Seven Oaks community" if the people are more important than their location.

Or would communities like this have their own assigned name, if not based on location, then on something else? A symbol or glyph that represents different groups and people adopt this glyph when they enter into a new community, but keep records of the previous ones they have been connected to until there is a whole string of glyphs after their name as a shorthand record of their entire network of relationships? Is this marked on their skin or on some item they wear? Formally inscribed in ledgers and public records?

Do these glyphs appear as a straight line, a row or column, or is there a cobweb or star shape with different sections/points meaning different things, and these symbols/glyohs/letters or whatever are placed in the web or star points?

That might be a cool item of jewellery with things carved on beads and beads added to it, or a massive back tattoo that gets added to all the time until for some it covers their whole body like a map of all the people they have connected with in some official way through their entire lives, especially if you adopt a kid and add in that kid's connections that are now connected to you.

How would people react to those with very few beads and few connections? Would they treat them with pity or with suspicion? What is the story of "Bran son of Brom"??

3. Patriarchy vs Matriarchy vs ....????

First, let's not pretend Matriarchy is a utopia. It is the same thing as patriarchy except women are in charge, and is equally as toxic in terms of structure. A society where 50% of citizens are subject to gender-based power structures is not a good one regardless of which gender is in charge.

Also, this still presents the normative of a gender binary, so you would still have structural oppression of genders who do not conform to or are perceived to undermine that binary. Up to you if your society is like that, but one to consider.

Also if we are talking about a queer normative society with one of those "gender plague" situations so everyone with an X or Y chromosome is dead, trans people and non binary people would still exist, still presenting in the applicable way. Intersex people would still exist, and people who present as "the sex that doesn't get the plague" may still contract it and die of it if you have it linked to chromosomes, because unless you do chromosomal testing you won't always know to look at someone what they have. So there is all that to think about.

Eliminating all cis men from a society doesn't actually get rid of men or masc-presenting people, but it does open things up for a less binary society in general.

If we aren't playing with dodgy science, and we have a queer normative society but you do want to explore some hierarchical structures within it, there are lots of other ways you can do that unrelated to gender.

In fact it doesn't make sense for this fantasy society in the "Bran son of Brom" example to have "gender roles" at all, so what is the internal family structure like in terms of power balance? Is this more about dominant personality vs democracy (just because you agree one person is in charge means nothing in practice if there is a more charismatic option that undermines this elected choice). Is it to do with earning power? If things are decided at communal meetings, who chairs them and why? What is the knock on logical effect on society on a larger scale?

So much stuff to think about there tbh

[redgoldsparks]

December 2023 Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon 

Despite how much promise there is in the premise of this novel I was ultimately fairly disappointed by it. I'll start with the positives: it's set in a diverse and creative fantasy world with multiple different countries and cultures. It has several queer characters, including one of the four POV characters. It has dragons, even though I think they were severely under-utilized. It is also far too long, and astonishingly, nearly every scene in the book felt rushed. I think it actually had too much plot; if I had been editing this book I would have suggested the author cut one of the POV characters and use the freed-up space to flesh out the queer love story, which was the emotional heart of the book. This book is marketed as adult fantasy, yet whenever a character is in serious danger they are nearly always rescued by a talking animal with super-speed abilities. Choices like this book made the book read younger than I expected. It also suffered, perhaps unfairly, due to the fact I read a book with a much smarter and more interesting use of dragons, human/dragon cultural tensions, and dragon politics earlier this year: Seraphina by Rachel Hartman, which I would recommend over Priory any day of the week.

Red Paint: The Ancestral Autobiography of a Coast Salish Punk by Sasha taqʷšəblu LaPointe

Sasha taqwšəblu LaPointe is a Coast Salish poet and punk who digs deep into the lineage of women in her family searching for connection, strength, and healing. While writing a Master's thesis, LaPointe opened the door to memories of a childhood sexual assault, precarious runaway teen years, and the intergenerational trauma that affected all of her family after the colonization of the Pacific Northwest. The memories that surfaced shattered her life. The path to picking up the pieces was slow, and involved traditional healing ceremonies, friendship, writing, music, and multiple journeys to places where her female ancestors once lived. I found this book very quick and easy to read despite the often heavy subject matter (it also includes a divorce and a miscarriage). Some passages are quite beautiful, but the author was an emotional mess for most of the time period she recounts and behaved in some questionable ways towards many of those around her. It ends on a hopeful note, and I would recommend it, especially to people with connections to the PNW area, while keeping the content warnings in mind.

Golden Fool by Robin Hobb read by Nick Taylor 

I hardly even know how to talk about this book because I loved it so much. It's a rich, nuanced, painfully human follow up to the earlier Farseer trilogy. I am amazed at how deftly Hobb wove the narratives of her characters across three decades of their lives and counting. There's Fitz, the royal bastard and reluctant assassin, who we first met at age six. Now in his mid-thirties, he is finally exploring his magical talents, teaching, learning, and taking more and more misfit young people under his wing. There's Chade, who we first met at a mysterious and wise teacher- now he's a royal advisor, and his hunger for power and influence might yet take him down a very dark path. There's Kettricken, who as a teenage princess was engaged to a stranger, now grown into a powerful queen bent on changing her kingdom for the better. There's the Fool, whose multiple identities are threatening to collapse as more and more of his prophesies come true. And Burrich, Fitz's adopted father figure, who in his anger and grief disowns a son who reminds him too much of his past. All of these characters feel so deeply rooted in their own histories, traumas, choices; I care so deeply about their lives and see so clearly how the twists of fate led them to where they are now. This is seriously one of the best fantasy series I have ever read, and I highly recommend anyone who loves long form fantasy to go back and pick up book one, Assassin's Apprentice.

The Well by Jacob Wyatt and Choo

Lizzy lives with her grandfather on one of many small islands in an world plagued by mist and monsters. Her mother, father, and grandmother all died fighting against the leviathan that used to threaten the seas between the islands; Lizzy has heard the stories, but never knew any of them. Her daily concerns are with goats, the market where she sells their cheese and milk, and her crush on a girl who works the island ferry. Magic doesn't regularly touch her life, except when she foolishly steals three coins from a wishing well, and is then tasked with completing the three wishes that are bound to them. This story has much the feel of a fairy tale with it's orphaned protagonist, three wishes, three tasks, and characters who are often more archetype than fleshed out people. But it manages a sweetly emotional ending and simple but lively and effective illustrations.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles read by Martyn Swain

Set in England during the reign of King George the third, this historical romance delivered a satisfying amount of plot along with the spice. Gareth is the son of a Baronet, but grew up with none of the privilege of that position having been send away from home after the death of his mother during his childhood. He works as a law clerk in London with few connections, no friends, and nothing much to recommend him. He seeks companionship at a tavern that turns a blind eye on the illicit sexual activities of men in the upper rooms. There he meets Kent, a working class man from Romney Marsh, with whom Gareth sparks an intense and intimate connection. Then it falls apart. Gareth is sacked from his job. He fights with Kent. His father dies unexpectedly, and Gareth is summoned to a manor house he hasn't seen in years to take on the responsibilities of a title, including the care of a teenage half-sister and his father's mistress. And by chance, the house Gareth inherits is in Romney Marsh, home of many waterways, pastures, smugglers, and also Kent, his former lover. I enjoyed the dynamic between the two romantic leads, and the crime plot which entangled both of them. If you are interested in R-rated M/M romance with action adventure and danger, I'd definitely recommend this series and also KJ Charles' Will Darling series.

Subtle Blood by KJ Charles read by read by Cornell Collins

A very satisfying installment in the Will Darling adventures! If this is the final book, I am happy with where it's left the characters, but it does also leave the door open for more. If you enjoy spicy M/M romance with a hefty side of action/adventure, this is a great series. It kept me company through a week of holiday cleaning, cooking, and baking, and I think it's my favorite yet from the series.

Death Strikes: The Emperor of Atlantis by Dave Maass & Patrick Lay

This comic is grim, funny, gory, and darkly poetic. It's impossible to read it without an awareness of the history of the script, which is based on a suppressed opera written in 1943 two prisoners at the Terezín concentration camp in Czechoslovakia. The authors did not live to see their play performed. Maass and Lay have done an impressive job transferring a story meant for the stage into a comic. The stars of the show are the characters of Life and Death who narrative and frame the story of a paranoid dictator in the fictional nation of Atlantis and his reign of terror against his own citizens.

The Cliff by Manon Debaye

This was beautifully illustrated but too sad and violent for me to enjoy reading. It's the story of a dysfunctional middle school friendship between two unhappy girls who make a suicide pact. This story will really hit for some readers but it wasn't for me.

Walkaway by Cory Doctorow 

I really enjoyed this book, even thought I think it's more interesting as a collection of ideas than as a novel. The characters in the first third felt somewhat flat, and the dialog is often delivered in hefty paragraphs with minimal dialog tags. But the story picks up in the second half and by the end I was reading it daily in big chunks. The concepts this book explores are what really shine, especially the idea of walking away from capitalist society and living in self-sustaining communities without formal governments or laws. This novel contains some future technology which we don't currently have today including 3D printers which can print food, clothing, and building pieces for vehicles and housing and also internet interfaces implanted into people's bodies which allow them global network access from anywhere almost all the time. The nation state of Canada also seems to have fallen before the start of this novel, as most of the characters end up walking away from the US into northern Canada to find these alternate communities. I liked seeing Doctorow play out the clash between on faction wanting to run a group house as a meritocracy versus another group committed to allowing all members to work as much or little as they want to or can, for example. The book does not shy away from showing the violent crack down of the existing governments on these alternate communities. There are major character deaths. But the other big theme of the book is exploring the digital scanning and uploading of human consciousnesses to the web allowed people to walk away from death.

[fiercynn]

Hey I’d love poetry recommendations! And thank you for your reply to that post, it pissed me off but I don’t think I could have worded it as well as you did

i'm very happy to recommend poetry!!! i have a ton of recs but am going to keep it to contemporary poets i've been reading recently just to keep this manageable haha

i'm gonna recommend specific poetry collections, and if you can purchase them that would be great to support the poets and the small presses that tend to publish them, but if you can't afford to or don't live somewhere where you can access them, you can also search their names and find some of their work online

birthright, george abraham

i don't think i've ever read a collection that has hit me this hard. george abraham (they/he/هو) is a queer palestinian american poet, performance arist, and writer who was born and raised on unceded timucuan lands (jacksonville, FL). birthright is their debut collection, and its title is based on the idea of the "birthright" trips that israel funds to bring young jewish adults to israel and indoctrinate them into becoming zionist settlers. the collection is based around abraham's own trip to palestine, the "inverse of birthright", and it is absolutely stunning. the way they write about the grief and fury of the colonized, about gender, about memories and history and palestinian liberation, is gorgeous and heartbreaking and utterly galvanizing.

once, a language failed me & i hadn't a home to claim it in my own throat— in Arabic, the word for tonsil translates to daughters of the ears—we are taught that to have a body is to carry its lineage inside of us— & i've tried to make a language where my blood was just mine—but my tongue rejected it. spat it out like a mouthful of Arabic—maybe it was defense mechanism; maybe this is how i cough up blood [ translation: how i cough up History ] - "Lexicon Of"

sacrament of bodies, romeo oriogun

romeo oriogun is a queer bisexual nigerian poet born and raised in lagos, who now lives in the united states. sacrament of bodies is a powerful collection about grief - both his parents died when he was young; about the violence of both homophobia and colonialism; about love and sex and desire and more. sacrament of bodies was his first full collection after publishing several chapbooks; his most recent collection is the gathering of bastards, which i have not yet read.

I do know about the hate that sinks a name and turns water into homes drowning boys, I cannot speak because my mouth is a grave. Every day men hurting bodies filled with love are praised as heroes are hailed as saviors opening bodies into fields eaten by locusts. - "Departure"

okay so tumblr hates me and i accidentally posted this when it was not completed!!! i have more recs but i'm going to do a part 2 replying to another person with a similar ask instead of trying to salvage this post 🤦🏾‍♀️

[allthingsmustfall]

Ted Lasso, Season 3, Episode 6

Look you know, I don’t even go here, but That Episode of Ted Lasso in Amsterdam, with Trent and Collin and the complexities of coming out has been sitting in my head all week (I mainlined the third season in about 2 days, sue me).  

I’m sure Tumblr has already had several schisms on whether or not this was done well, but as someone who came relatively late in life that I’m a dyke, the conversation between Trent, who has a complex backstory that implies that he came out while he was still married to his wife and whatever hell and heartache that followed after (even if she was unhurt and supportive, that could not have been easy), and Colin, a young man with very simple, heart wrenchingly wants and goals from his life, while they sit quietly, gently in front of Homomonument while the bells of Westerkerk chime is just - 

OK, back in ye olden times of fanfic, so many of the stories were a bit hamfisted (me, me, i’m talking about me) treatises on coming out or coming to terms with attraction or what have you.  Character A wants Character B, but to see if they really want Character B, they have to bang some chicks to prove they’re not REALLY gay or something something - it wasn’t always great, but what i remember from that era was that the fear of being gay/being exposed was a part of those stories.  And I’m not saying it was always necessary or done well, but it did feel a bit more grounded in reality.  In more recent times, probably as a function of fanfiction being more acceptable and some of the stigma around queerness that i felt in the 90s and aughts easing (things aren’t good now, not with our trans brothers and sisters suffering so acutely and publicly, but i’m just saying there’s been a culture shift), those sentiments have become more of a footnote in fanfic.  And good!  Not everything has to be a realistic take on every inch of what queerness looks like, and I am 100% behind the freedom of enjoying fiction in which the sorrow and anger and confusion that I have felt is not an important part of how the characters feel.  We deserve uncomplicated joy and happy endings.  

But what I think might be missing from stories now (and oh yes this includes my own) is how earth shattering a queer community is when you’re making your first forays into being out.  Pride is our celebration because for so long what the world asked of us was shame.  The celebration of a history that you weren’t born to but came to later, that you claimed as part of your lineage because suddenly, things like Stonewall aren’t just historical events of note, but your progenitors throwing bricks through the obstacles we’ve now never known.  

So yes, a young and somewhat fearful gay man sharing his pure hopes with another gay man, who has been through his own struggles, while they sit in front of a monument to queer folk who lost their lives to blind persecution, while bells of hope peel on - it reached into that small aching part of me that clawed my way to a community that loves and accepts me, and a community that taught me my own history.  

I just adored this representation deep down in the depths of me

[bacchant-of-dionysus]

Sorry for the extended hiatus! I am back and ready to share more of my study and worship practices. I also have an email address now, where you can contact me with any in depth questions you might have, or if you want any kind of help or guidance - bacchantofdionysus@gmail.com

With that said, who here worships who, and how did you find this path? I’ll go first:

I am somewhat unique in that I only worship one god in the entire Greek pantheon despite believing in the existence of all of them. For this reason I call myself a Hellenic pagan as opposed to a Hellenic polytheist.

I found this path after years of attempting to find solace in the gods. I tried the abrahamic god of Christianity first. I then leant toward the Greek gods, especially Apollo, but was put off after reading a rant by a Greek person about the disrespect and fetishisation foreigners bring to the practice. I decided to heed his advice and worship the gods of my own lineage. This is when I began to pray to the Irish goddess of death and prophecy - The Morrigan. She was far too dark and gritty of a goddess for me at this time. I was in need of nurturing and love, and she was, and is always, in need of soldiers. I am no warrior or soldier. I am tender hearted and thin skinned.

But most of all I was severely sexually repressed due to my undiagnosed gender dysphoria. The Morrigan is a goddess of dark sexuality, and not a deity someone as inexperienced as myself should have attempted to build a connection with. Worship is one thing, but the two way communication I sought in the gods was not able to be fulfilled by her. It was, but just the once. I made a promise to her to stop harming myself and I felt her put armour on my body. I failed to keep my promise. She didn’t take revenge on me for breaking my promise, but I never felt her presence again. I was not ready for her, and she knew it. I felt a sense of pity from her almost. Despite this, her ravens continued to watch over me for quite some time. Even my mother noted there were ravens everywhere when I was around in those days. I was stupid and inexperienced and suffering, and though she knew I wasn’t ready to be her devotee, she never harmed me. For that I am eternally grateful, as her wrath is often deadly.

I sat with the emptiness I felt in myself for quite some time. I remembered back to my early interest in the Greek pantheon, and how I had always felt drawn to Dionysus. Despite my lack of Hellenic heritage, he was a perfect fit for me - this god of queerness, sexual liberation, freedom and insanity was exactly who I needed for guidance in growing up. My first sexual experience was with Dionysus. I don’t really tell people this, because it sounds insane, blasphemous and self centred, but I know what I felt and it isn’t something I can really explain. Through Dionysus I have become so much more comfortable in my body, my sexuality and myself. I went from someone whose own mother referred to them as ‘prudish’ to a confident young man who was happy to flaunt his femininity and sexuality and speak up about his needs.

I have neglected my worship of Dionysus for quite some time. I have been really struggling and busy looking after my burnt out partner along with trying to take care of myself. But Dionysus has quietly been there for me in ways that aren’t always apparent. I feel his love for me. He wears many faces - a father figure, a brother, a best friend, a lover, a mentor, a king, a god. He has been all these things to me throughout my time with him.

So, my friends and followers of the ancient gods - how did you find your faith? And more importantly, how did you keep it?

[tododeku-or-bust]

☀️Raybearer, by Jordan Ifeuko

I am so full of emotion rn, having just finished this book. So I'm just gonna list off all the top great things I've found during this adventure:

The protagonist, Tarisai, is a Black girl. God knows I would have loved to have this when I was 13 bc I was (and am) a fantasy fiend. And she fights the status quo that is the unjust system she lives in, that wants to weaponize her in many ways? I'm seated! 🔥

Reading this as a grown Black woman, I feel the frustration at the world behind it. I feel the frustration, from a Black Woman Author, when I see the world around me making the same poor choices over and over and parroting it "unity", "justice", "peace" and "order", especially at the sacrifice (instead of the priority!) of those who need us most. That's what's filling me with the most emotion, though there are so many things I relate to in this story. I feel....seen. seen, heard, validated.

I read more characters of color in the first 20 pages than I have read in 27 years of fantasy books EVER. The countries are fantasy, but the characters' names show the influence. (Nigeria, China, Korea, West Asia, India, and more). The author is putting everyone's "brown ppl break the illusion of fantasy" bullshit in the DIRT.

The main romance is between an Indian boy and a Black girl. I've seen that ONCE! Very rarely do we get interracial romance where the Black person is the girl, let alone in pairings between different people of color! (Black girl characters deserve to be loved XOXO)

Queer people exist in this universe and it is no sweat. Like, they just do!

The plot of this book!!! It's some heavy shit fr! It keeps you on edge as you follow Tarisai. She's weighed down by so many expectations, and you want so badly for her to break away from it and do what is Right. I love a 'Sins of the Parent/Lineage' story, and I especially love a (thanks ATSV) "imma do me" story.

Imma reemphasize this bc it's my favorite: one point this book has that I REALLY appreciate is that it emphasizes the idea that those who want to change the world should be willing to do so at the risk of themselves. So often in our society it's always "things will get better but you have to suffer in order for us to get there, not Me-," and its frustrating bc a lot of those who speak a big game politically are usually never the ones willing to go First. The claim that things will get better is always at the cost of someone weaker and less heard.

The worldbuilding of this book is rich. You will be plied with visuals and information in this universe. And if some of the cultural concepts are confusing (given that we live in a White Western default world for writing)..... Learn it. Get comfortable with it. Kids should grow up learning new things in fantasy (I had to learn Irish to read some books and I'm better for it; you'll be okay!)

This is more personal, but I love reading about my hair in fic. Curls, coils, locs, braids, beads, afros like clouds. It's so nice. Our hair and skin are beautiful and I want to see more that actual effort put into describing us in writing.

There are a couple things that I think could be better/paced differently, but overall the experience is very, very good. I am absolutely going to buy this and the next one in the series. Jordan Ifeuko did an excellent job with this and I would highly suggest it.

[ferretrade]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks to @merlyn-bane for tagging me! <3

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

Currently 56!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

183,482

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

At this moment, it's Star Wars all day every day. Specifically into the prequel era and Star Wars Rebels related stuff.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Twenty-Two - an Enjoltaire fic I wrote when I was 20 so let's not talk about that

it's a gift to be truly known - skybridger fic, I'm thrilled to see it this high :')

held like a dream - codywan, interesting it's done better than the others

Lost in the Supermarket - another enjoltaire from the wee age of 20, don't look at me

beholder - codywan, I do really really love this one

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, mostly! I don't always because it gets mixed up with my anxiety and I feel overwhelmed and pressured. So I live by a policy of "respond if I am feeling it, if not nbd."

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely can't think of anything that has an angsty ending. Angsty middles, sure, but I'm a happy ender. I guess it's like poetry, it rhymes (shatterpoint lineage fic) is a little bittersweet?

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to choose? I've written some pretty sappy fluff. I've decided on frame the halves, call them a whole (codywan) because you get a good, way pre-O66 fix it that means no one I like died PLUS force sensitive clones! :)

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I don't believe I ever have!

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Haha yes. It's generally queer and pretty tame in terms of kink.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope, never have.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! My fics are pretty mid-tier at their highest popularity so I don't think anyone really cares to lol

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and I'm still so, so flattered and thrilled by it. :''') I believe I had one (or even two???) old Les Mis fic translated before, but I don't see it linked on ao3. And then there's this absolute beauty:

Comme de la poésie, ça rime

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not technically, but Haley and I have a draft we lovingly refer to as only fan-akin, doc titled (by Haley, credit where due) "the west wing but if sam married the hooker and became president instead of dropping that storyline and leaving after s3"

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Maybe probably Billy/Teddy from Young Avengers. They're my boys!!!

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Baby girl, I have WIPs you don't even know. I wish I could write the jedi temple epic I wanted to, but my thoughts and feelings have changed so much the whole concept has collapsed and what I have is too messy to use elsewhere. And then there's the courferre soulmate fic I dearly meant to finish and just never will since the interest dried up.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. That's the easiest part for me to write.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Uh well first of all, actually getting myself to write is a big fucking challenge of mine. But really, the spacial stuff and descriptions kill me. Please know that if you ever read non-dialogue, non-thought parts that you like, it probably took me like 10 writing passes to get it just right. I live in a state of editing and reediting.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I just don't! I am willing to add in as much as I know or easy words-- like a bonjour or, if we're talking Star Wars, sprinkles of words like vode. But if someone is talking in sentences, I will straight up do "Sabine said something in Mando'a" or "Stop that, Sabine told him in Mando'a." Easier for me that trying to do bad translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Young Avengers!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

This is ever changing. While I probably go back and read it's a gift to be truly known the most, I love a single slow desire for it being the best, biggest world building I've done. Plus it's f/f and I need more of that in my writing life

I think everyone ever has been tagged already, but if not! Tags for you: @afoundling @happybean17 @tired-bshocked @goddammitjim

[desi-lgbt-fest]

i think often about the legacies i will leave, being pretty sure there has been no queer person in our family before me. Maybe i will find the legacy they've left. Maybe someone someday will find mine. Though i am too young i often think, will my child be queer?can i share this joy with them? Will someone, ages after find my scribbles, and know that yes, there was someone queer before me as i long to find now? what legacy will i leave with my queerness in this tiny world of mine? only time will tell. happy pride mods!

It seems statistically improbable that you would be the FIRST in your lineage to be queer... but you could be the first one to be out and proud! That's certainly some legacy. Happy pride to you too

[a-wild-things-rambles]

you know what yall get my discord rant about the yassified constantine ya thing. [<-is edits->]

I'm just speechless[spoiler: i find my voice p quick] on the whole yasstantine ya thing and by speechless I mean disappointed to the bone and very close to cussing the house down. Also the story is so shite? like he has a mum and is part of a magical lineage but in a weird not John way? Like there's a good post about how two panels show the massive difference between the two. Also? How can u wright John Constantine without his mum dying as he was born? Like it affects sooo mutch. It's like rebooting Spiderman and not killing uncle Ben. It's the catalyst of all catalysts.

Also I'm not saying John ain't pretty when he's young, because he's decent looking in the first hellblazers, but he's scruffy there, also he's[yasstantine] a poser. Like John ain't a poser. Idk how to explain it but making John pretty and airbrushed and ticktoc alt is fundamentaly opposed to who the actual charecter is. Like they look at all the reasons ppl like him and changed them. John is a queer northern man who had dealt massively with childhood trauma and abuse as well as poverty, and stripping him of that is something I wish I could be surprised about DC doing but given how DC are already trying to downplay and flatten him

(don't get me started on the king shark thing or the flirting w batman. John may not have self respect but he does have a burning hatred for the rich and batman is not an exeption and the "oh John's such a slut he even fuked a shark" fuck off.) Ok speechless was a lie ^ pissed of queer and punk Londoner who has to many opinions on John Constantine and to many fights they want to pick with dc.

John is an inherently political charecter and that's where he is best. And you can't strip him of his context as a British punk queer man who lived through the aids crisis and Thatcher and the coalminers strikes and section 28. But DC want to strip him of his politics and so put him in America. No! John's story is important and speaks of things the government want to ignore. Issue 3 of hellblazers cover was taking the piss out of Thatcher. Hellblazer isent just a comic its a comic that calls out the bull going on in the world, and sits you down and forces you to empathize with people, and to show how bigots are pathetic. I read hellblazer and I can point to the things my parents have told me about, and more. Hellblazer is political, hellblazer is important and hellblazer tells me my history. Hellblazer is about people that I could know, and the horrors I have to face. Idk how to say it but hellbazer and John Constantine are so important to me in a world where most English language media is American. Where you learn all about America. And we have alot less media telling it how it is. England has a massive issue with putting old horrors under the rug.

And it's hard to explain to some people that didn't grow up with the horrors, or there parents didn't warn them if the horrors they lived thru, about the council estates, about section 28, about the privatisation of the verge, about all the British issues shoved under the bloody carpet. I read hellblazer and it tells me that these horrors do exist, the wounds that scar us still do exist, but people survive and people are good. [note- by horrors i mean the real life horrors, that are either played straight or allgorised]

Also from a story point of view, disregarding context, disregarding charecter, John's story is so fuking British. "The Americans want someone to succeed where they haven't, the English want someone to fail where they have," is a p good summary of the difference between the two countries media [i am heavily generalizing the common trends of american vs british media please dont @ me w outliers] We [brits] like watching someone else go through the shitter like us, to show that were not alone. We don't get happy ending. We know. We like morally complex arseholes who make bad choices. We don't want superman. We want our gritty hope that we may not be happy, but we can make choices that matter. We want to see people like us suffer and be absolved and be punished. We want the truth that is glossed over. We want to know that life sucks, and we take delight in watching other people go through the shit we do. Witch is why u need a British writer, not just because of knowledge of the context, but because the story is fundamentally different to American stories.

… ok I have alot more feellings and opinions on that than I thought

Tldr I hate it but it's inline w DC's attempts to de politicize John and in doing so showing they fundamentally don't understand the character and why people like him, and then ruin him in an attempt to make him "popular" when at the core of his character he is at his best when he isent popular with everyone [john is a character that should piss large groups of people off, and hellblazer is a comic that should make large amounts of people uncomfortable, but dc want to remove the discomfort, and defang the comic and character, selling out john. no the irony isent lost on me]

[geyikligece]

thanks for answering my question! i genuinely don't think something can be a sin without it being clearly stated as a sin, so all the so called analogies between "homosexuality" and "zina" doesn't exist in the Quran, therefore invalid. i struggle to understand why would God condemn love? why would it only be okay for heterosexual to be in a relationship and have sex, but not homosexuals? are we less than them? but he created us this way. so "just don't act upon it" is illogical to me. we would surely know if the Prophet punished anyone as well, since the homophobes would surely not miss that!! 😊 love is the most beautiful thing and it is given to us by Allah, so it cannot be a sin. i also don't really see the connection between zina and homosexuality. sex before marriage is haram so that lineages don't mix and people have a clear relationship between each other. with that being said, this could mean homosexuals do not need to get married, and they can have sex with content. or if their country legalized same sex marriage they would first get married. i have also read about how there were cases that allowed same sex intercourses within the islamic law in the past. since Quran talks about heterosexual relationships because they are the majority, we cannot really know what to do. but all we know that something cannot be a sin without being mentioned as a sin and that we are not condemned, despite what people think. honestly i am so tired :( i spend my entire time trying to justify my existence to other people and to myself, it is mentally exhausting and leading me to stray away from religion. i have even accepted that even if it is a sin, i would do more good deeds to be forgiven but i cannot be deprived from the comfort of love. i would love to hear if you have any advice for me. i don't mean to randomly vent but i genuinely cannot take it anymore and i don't have anyone around me to talk to. i just want to feel validated to be in a relationship, get married later and have sex :( once again, thank you and i'm sending my love! so hard to even simply exist in this toxic environment.

as a person who understands, and as a psychologist too, i must say, your feelings are valid, your struggles are valid, your questions are also valid. and you're not alone. it's just that as queer muslims we always face ostracization and criticism, so as you said even simpy existing is really difficult. both in muslim contexts and in queer contexts, we cannot find a proper place, both groups do not accept us wholeheartedly. the thing that helps me the most is to have queer muslim people around me. just like my best friend @aheartandashirt ♡ because queer people do not understand my religious identity. and muslim people do not accept my queer identity. but queer muslim people will understand the most. having that safe space is truly healing.

why i'm studying this subject academically is also because of that. i'm interviewing with turkish queer muslim women and i'm seeing that we are not alone. hopefully this study can be something empowering that helps individuals like us to feel less lonely and more resilient. if you wanna talk, i'm always here. my message box is always open. i'm sending lots of love and virtual hugs 🫂 take care ♡

[the-official-account]

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THERE'S A NEW EPISODE HERE'S 26 LIVEBLOG BABEEEEYYYY

my podcatcher is cool and great and open source and ad free and all that shit but I haven't set up my notifications good and because this is my first episode as they come out (my inner fanatic is all grown up) im not used to the schedule but HHHASD;LPIG AHIP'LSF AG THE WAY I SCREEEEEAMED AND ACTUALLY DANCED FOR JOY HERE WE GO!!!!!

oh opening music my beloved. Oh shit I got so obsessed with Blorbos I briefly forgot exactly where we are in the story. Coping mechanism (slash joking slash lighthearted) im 👀👀👀👀 very hyped bery concerned

"you need to be making eye contact to be frozen" means it's vry easy to free spar!!! ahhh so they somehow duplicated the pendants....or found more??

BACKUP THINGS 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 IM ON DESKTOP AND I CAN ONLY HAVE ONE EMOJI COPIED TO MY CLIPBOARD AT AT TIME ASJKDLHFASDFH

also the title of this episode is making me excited

Ila's stress about spar's condition is such a mood

THIS TELEKENISIS NECKLACE THING IS SO BANGER.

ooh. oof. this drive. CRIT?????? NICE FUCK. WHEW.

SUUCESSED THE FUCK OUTA THAT.

Voracity fucking sucks sorry about your lineage bestie i do hope you die though

SPAR BALANCED HALWAYD ON A CATWALK, FROZEN, SNUGGLED UP TO AN AWFUL AWFUL VAMPIRIC ASSHOLE UHHHH

......that joker.

OH I FORGOT VELLUM CAN TELEPORT FOR A SEC with the power of looking INCREDIBLY sexy. I like this plan I'm feeling good about this plan

Jordan's clearly plotting some shit and i am HERE for it

"normally you are not conscious during it" NORMALLY???

Spar depersonalization crash course. OH WAIT NO SPAR STEVEN UNIVERSE MOMENTS. IM OBSESSED????

viscious spar.....hmmm......im making a face it's not a great face LASDFALHFAHS

I love that spar's first thing is to just get the gist of what he's got going on <3 LJSADFLKJAHSDJFKHASD HE GOES TO VELLUM A;LKSDFLJSHDFLJSADGFLJSHADFKAHSDFKLASDF SCOOBY DOO ASS LOVE BIRDS

Oh shit is Vellum gonna think spar is fucking dead???? VORACITY GOES TOPPLING WHICH IS HILARIOUS BUT SPAR TOO??????? HOLY SHIT????? LMAO????

we are thirteen minutes in.

IF YOU DIE IN YOUR BODY YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE ALKSDJF;LAKSDJFASKLD;FJALSDFJ

Essay protesting Voracity's stats is such a mood. What if...what if ya jus didn???

As spooky as this whole situation is, the mental image of spar having royallllly biffed it is sending me

Okay when I was very young, I used to play chess with a younger sibling of mine. And I did this thing where I would just take one rook and systematically go around capturing all their pawns because they didn't know how to protect them, while just kinda giggling. And that's the energy ipswitch is bringing right now, tkaing out all their backup.

EIGHT FUCKING CARDS

AD;ISFLG;ALKDSGASLDFK RING TOSS SITIONATION wasn't jakub with ipswitch? or going to him? and yeahhhh lunevella is an important ally.

Diamond? friend? mmmmmmmmmmmmnahhhh

YEAH LUNAVELLA!!!! MASSIVE WITCH LADY COME IN CLUTCH!

nooo fuck PLEASE dont make it diamond please please please LUNEVELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA lesbiamb...YEAS

I forget what beloved does but mechanical nonsense is my favorite

NO SUCESSES ONE JOKER there are not emojis on this computer that describe...you know that one image of the hot cook guy from Queer eye looking traumatized? that.

"I'm having fun being a useless ghost boy" VALID i am also having fun. sometimes in a ttrpg you just wanna be/add to the problem for a bit!!! And that's ok

Voracity being pissed about being launched off the catwalk is SO Funny.

"so I could accomplish my goal without violence" BITCH YOU THREATENED TO MURDER SEVREAL-----FJHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO NO NO VORACITY ISNT ALLOWED TO CRIT LEAVE VELLUM ALOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!

oh shit but vellum's turn now.......kick them back off!!!!!! asjdhfakjsdhfasdkflakdhf

TAEKWONDO!! switching instantly for a drive does seem like a good balance I like that mechanic

god I love my gay rule-abiding detectives who for some reason keep trying to fight the ONE being that EVERY rule is like don't fucking fight for the love of god do not fight them for the LOVE OF

"I imagine that vellum gets a cat stance, which is like an L stance" i know there is more informaiton here but my brain has already shifted into the "someone i know is talking about something they love and i understand very little of what's happening here but I'm just excited to listen" mode. But no i do need to know what cat stance is because this is so art in my brain. ill look it up later.

im so *chinhands*

OOOOOH BUT THIS DESCRIPTION IS SO GOOD i CAN SEE IT IN MY BRAIN SO WELL OOOOHAS;DFHKLASEHFASKDFHA VELLUM IS SO COOL

there are no ascii emojis for doing a silly stupid little happy stim but that's what's happening

oh shit luna can fly!

Lune deserves to be condescending to her enemies, she's dealt with so much bullshit.

Ooof we have the AA and now the bramble guard with MOTORCYCLES????? ugh!!! organizations!!!!! Lore!!!!!!!! im swooning. there is nothing sexier in my mind that good worldbuilding

tatiana related plans but not htis episode 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀????

yeah lmao fuck diamond.

okay but in my brain Desdemona was suuuuuuper pretty. Oh no!!! Don't make her endearing!!!!!!!

(sweetly) "So uhhh, people of cindershore as you can see....we have the people of theee passion fruit festival held hostage <3"

THEY WANTED TO DO THIS NON VIOLENTLY god fuck i hate fucking misinformation goddamn.

"side with crystallis of againse you own wellbeing" bestie how is that fucking nonviolent?????

"get your gummy jello fingies in here" hello i am uncomfortablleeee AHSDL;FHASDFHADJSFLHAKDSFJH

TERRORIST TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

I like to imagine that Kit's comments was ipswitch being genuinely helpful

oh god. there was a SPLIT second moment when my entirely world lit up with the GLEE that was Voracity biffing it off the catwalk again.

vellum pulls them...up? NOOO I MEAN THATS SMART BUT AHHHHH IM STAKING THE PROTAGONISTS LIKE A MIRACA (how the FUCK do you spell this im pretty sure i knew that) STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY AHHHHHHHHHH

i swear to GOD the host have an uncanny ability to say the joke i was thinking and I think we've just all got the same internet brain rot. my FIRST thought here was "None successes? left beef." and there we go. no funny left for the rest of us.

oooh what's jakub up to

WITCH TIME WITCH TIME WITCH TIME

"leave diamond where they are" you know, cause fuck em.

LUNA VELLA COMING IN FRIGGGGGING CLUTCH.

"Lunavella casts a spell that was taught to her by tara. Lunavella later taught it to jasper, who used it to talk to a god at a very crucial time"

the VOLUME at which i just sais "HUH?????" is IMMENSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? HELLP???? NO DONT MOVE ON HELLO??? HI! hIS I HAVE QUESTIONS?

Did jasper do the untethering???? Did jasper PERSONALLY speak to mommy magic???? Is that was Tara did to sacrifice her connection to magic for Merim & Josepha's freedom????? what...what does this mean....

SHE'S TALKING TO KRONOSAVA SHE CALLED THIS RELIC'S FUCKING PARENT. SHE SAID SHE'S GOING TO THE MANAGER. AJSHDFAJSHDFLKAJSHDF

An animatronic giant....HMMMMMM

okay but what is the triple threat if not just a small, minimalist mech suit?

"oh i do like information" "I know!!! Me to!!!" Oh my god they're suchhhh fucking nerds i fucking love them HASKLDJHFASDHFAKDJLFH GET ME TO A CLOSET.

AND JAKUB BLUSHES. AND OF COURSE IPSWITCH DOESN'T NOTICE CAUSE ITS IPSWITCH. THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK

I WANNA TRY TO POSSESS VORACITY Spar has been a ghost for like 2 minutes, and he was already like "When in rome!!!"

Kronosava manifests as a NINE FOOT TALL CLOCKWORK PERSON WITH MANY CLOCK FACES OF IMPOSSIBLE GEOMETRY????? COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL FUCKING RAD RAD RAD

Spar's ALONE with the TIME GOD al;jsdflkasdjfasdjlf

he did NOT just introduce himself....holllly shit lmaooo. "those who may be frozen by my eye are unworthy by my sight" oh so Spar is like. Time daddy's favorite blorbo. This makes sense to me. or maybe somewhat.

KRONOS SAY YALL KINDA SUCK SO I MADE YA DIE, CAUSE FUCK EM

Spar is NOT fucking out logicing this GOD im So here for this. fuck em up bestie FUCK EM UP!!!!!!

imagine your last name being considered by the GOD OF TIME now that's what I call clout.

"relative innocence" yeahhhhh. peace and lvoe on the planet earth, but emphasis on "on the planet earth"

Mayor lipton is the mayor of cindershore.

Okay I understanbd this scene im loving the vibes but MERIM FELSPAR THE SECOND IS NOOOOOTTTTT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM MR. TIME DADDY!!! He can't awnser for the crime and bigroties of Extra #8 and 13

YOU MAKE A GODDEX CHUCKLE that line will be living in my brain as something that can be so symbolism

I....I...I don't like this. wow i HATE how fast spar just traded off year of his fucking life span noooooo. fuck. fuck. fuckity fuck fuck fuck im in distress. ughhhhhh spar being spar.......I will have thoughts but first I need to sigh a lot ......Ugh.

but also fuck the gods im not vibing with this barter situation. is it good for the plot YES is deicide always an aspiration of mine also yes

"it feels like licking a battery with your hand' oooh mental sensory imaginings not good but very very cool

Like sourpatch kids watermelon flavor colorscheme.

*sadly, with hesitation* midtro dance midtro dance....

guhhhh spar....Spar why. Like I understand the choice but that was SO fast. HE DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT AND THAT'S WHAT I --UGHHHHHH

happy late birthday to essay!

ESSAY PLEASE STOP ASTRALLY PROJECTING PLACES ALSDFL;ASHFDLASHDFLKASF

Spar is a snacker and habituatally hands people snacks to keep them sustained.

God yall are just begging for me to write a communion (slash literary term related to chrstian, not christian practice itself. for as much as i say the words lord and god i like barely know who jesus is) fic....soon my toils will be over and my backlog will sing so my like the sirens lulling me away from an approaching storm, so instead my hyperfixation can crash violently upon the rocks and. it. will. be. GLORIOUS.

VELLUM WON A LEETLE KEETY <3<3<3

KIT CAME OUT SWINGING WITH THIS????? ....HUH????? BESTLJHAS;DIFHASDHFASJDFALKDSFKJASF. KIT SAID "IPSWITCH LOOKS AT SOME GAY SHIT END OF SENTENCE" IM DEAD. Im just imaginging Jakub looking at the performers, and at ipswitch, and at the performers, and in his head he's like "why does he look contemplative?"

Xbala, hilde, grey, anya play shoots and ladders at the safe house while knowing Spar, Vellum, ip, Jakub, and Luna are risking their lives fighitng voracity....that was me typing for speed but "Ip" as a nickname is really cute imo.

*much more enthusiatic end of midtro dance*

ILA I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOOD NEWS. DODGE IS ONE. AH. OH NO. HHHHH.

i made i sound like ID been bitten. Voracity. Rancid bestie, what if we like....didnt...

LIASDFASDJFASDF VELLUM'S BLOOD TASTES WIERD?????

*A deep sigh as I realize by having Beloved as a ultimate Vellum is, in fact, another self-sacrificial blorbo for the lot.*

Oh fuck he's so determined and valliant but i want him to STOP.

People should be reinvigorating and spar should be around soon??? im....spoooked. I know being unconcious isn't the end of the world though....

I think some of the gumw as given to Anya and may not have ever been returned? Which i only mention as a brief note for efforts and because these eps are recorded long ahead of time: i aint a snitch

spar to the recsue <3 <3 <3 king I'm imagining spar like Baseball-sliding in, swinging the sword like he's going to a home run, in slow motion. It's VERY cool.

SPAR IS AJUDSHLKJSAHGFKLJSADFGHAS THIS IS FO FUNNY I FUCKING LOVE THIS.

OHHHHH JUST ONE SHORT.

OH. OH SHIT. OH. PLEASE FLIP GOOD OH MY GOD. ID WOULD BE SCREAMING BUT IF I START SCREAMING i CAN'T HEAR.

AHHHHH;LFRGHA jumped so hard I pulled my chair up off the floor and keysmashed irrespocibly enough to put my compter to sleep. I'm SO normal.

The Animaation of this that exists in my brain through. Vellum gets bitten and Voracity reals back enough for you to see, between their faces, spar sprinting towards them reaching for his sword. The Camera whips to a side angle for spar's baseball swing. Slice! Spray of blood as vellum gets up a bit. Shot from below spar's chin to show his determined face and the long line of his arm and Bang! Bang! They all drop until his gun clicks empty. As there's a zoom in on the bat going for the window. One last bang and as Spar looks down the Camera does too, to show Vellym propped up on one arm holding His derringer high for a beat before his arms fall when he slumps in relief and he just smiles as ash rains down around them. Spar falls to his knees, and vellum slides over to kiss him...augh. AUGH!

Spar with a subtle scar over his hear that after 26 is raised and more obvious. For you know. Eventual shiftless art that WILL happen

Oh shit Jakub's getting a fucking promotion, huh?

LKJUAHSFGKJAHSKDFAHSDFKLASD IPSWITCH FINDS TERRORISM TAX FRAUD EVIDENCE I LOOOVE THAT FOR HIM OH MY GODDD <3.

Okay but Jakub being attracted to that is SO dorky and i love them and they're such sillyy guyssss. IPSWITH STARTLES.

"i have one more thing to end on!" [the episode has twnety minutes left]

Governor thorn middle ages. violet haired. carries a spear. CLEARLY need to pack her ass up and fuck off before she messes with Hilde, Anya, Grey and Xbala. I was only gonna mention my favoirites out of that grpup but not yeah they're all good. So throne need to like. go. I don't trust this.

"What's this about? how do you know where this is?" GOOD QUESTIONS.

FUCK. OFF. UNDER ARREST FOR WHAT. BITCH?

NO. NO. YOU DONT GET TO FUCKING END CREDITS MUSIC AFTER THAT FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF. WHAT. WHAT?

What.

i HEARD KEVIN AND I ACTUALLY GASPED. ITS MY FAVORITE CRINGEFAIL KING!!!!

CATBOY ASCE!!!!!!

OH WAIT im realizing....If SUITS has been abolished that Spar did retire after all, huh? Huh. Good for not having to report info about clovenheart. BAD news for whatever the fuck is happening to jack. Interesting news for Vellum's blood theirvery theories. And damn, I just sort of assumed Mayor Thorne was just like...Good Guy(TM) until....well until chapter 3 of tempest and teapots yesterday. God i love stories where things only get bigger. crunchy as hell.

THEY HAVE TO BOTH WEAR HIS CLOTHES STACKED ASJLDFALSDJFADF

I'm in love with Asce's himbo ass, he should NOT be enabling this and YET.

Iris has jury duty and then she's getting a massage and then she's going to therapy and then doing her therapy homework: considering new employment.

DOES CASEDYWM FUCKING STICK THEM IN HIS ACTUAL POCKET??????? OH NO.

ARE THEY JUST GONNA KEEP THE PIXIES IN HIS POCKET THE WHOLE TIME?

"I just need to know whose on top and whose...whose...whose the legs" Ah, when nature denies us our low hanging fruit

oh god I hope asce is left handed because otherwise Caedyn';s hand is occupied and Asce only has access to his non dominant hand

SDLFASDFAJSDFLASDF "I DONT KNOW HOW IT HELPS BIT I WANT IT"

"IS CADEWYN'S noSE PIECED" "IT IS NOW"

ASDKJFA;LSDJFASDF FUCK

added together they look like a great mintaur, yeah!! If someone shakes their head back and forth very fast

peer pressure confusion...sweet jesus.

JSADLFJALKDSFJAS just look abnormnal and blend in!!! This stratedgy would work in many of my social circles to be fair.

Not CALHOUN (just finished reading the 1619 project, that's the last name of the probably most cartoonishly evil & racist person in that entire book. Which, if anything, makes this mor funny for me

HE GIVES CADEWYN MORE ALCOHOL. NOOOO LMAOOOOOO

A BRILLIANT TACTICAL PLAY YOU'RE NOT HIGH LEVEL ENOUGH TO GET FULL DETAILS ON.

I was gonna make a joke about xbala getting arrested in the background but then it hit me: anya is a defense lawyer. A defense lawywer who already fucking hates Thorn. A defense lawyer who already hates thorn who has made up with spar and befriended Xbala and in all likelyhood has the support of the Harrington's behind her. She might. She might fuck it up. Take no prisoners, but like, the opposite way that's usually meant. still just as fuckign rad tho. my brain is turning. rotating like a microwave plate. mmmmmmmmm.

That scene was so funny though. cherry on top of a wonderful episode. i have...i have things to consider.

@threeheartscast @citrusandsalt @ilaalexei

[blorbologist]

Just barfing out my personal de Rolo quarter elf headcanons somewhere so I can keep em together and share them! Given I know mine are often a bit weird compared to everyone else’s.

90% of my thoughts have been about Vesper and Leona, due to writing fics heavily involving them, so they take up the bulk of this ahaha oops

EVERY one of these kids is queer, I don’t make the rules, it’s the law of the land.

My personal take on their ages is that Vesper’s the (accidental, oops) firstborn, the twins followed 4-5 years later, Dan a year or two after them (probably a bit of a honeymoon phase after the twins finally started sleeping through the fuckin night), and Gwen 4-6 years later. Vesper is the only one to really get a fair amount of adventuring done, so I could see her being Level 6-12 by the time she’s done while the rest of the brood end up around levels 3-5 depending on their niche and interests.

Vesper:

I am of the opinion Vesper is an Aasimar, because if my timeline knowledge is correct Vex was pregnant with her when she became Pelor's Champion (and if not, I think that's still enough to bless your bloodline enough for an Aasimar, cmon), and I highly doubt she experienced the sort of stress that made her dad go white by twenty in that Tal'dorei Reborn portrait. Plus, having an Aasimar eldest and Tiefling youngest is nice poetic symmetry <3

I decided to make her a Paladin of Erathis for a number of reasons. One, I loath seeing firstborn kids being perfect mixes of their parents' skills and specialties, and I feel the firstborn of two heros and leaders of a city would absolutely want to avoid being compared to her parents whenever possible. So instead of a DEX build like her parents, aunt and uncle, she's a front line STR heavy hitter. I settled on Paladin specifically to nod to Vax and to give her another way to separate herself from her lineage - because sure, her mom is Pelor's champion, and Pelor definitely blessed her, but that doesn't mean she has to be his paladin, too, so she turns towards Erathis instead. I also think she'd be Oath of Redemption, just because that subclass + the Lawbearer's whole thing both would help shape someone into a good leader, once she takes Cass' place at the head of the Chamber. 

Vesper’s very much an ‘everyone can be redeemed‘ person, as a logical extreme of hearing her dad’s story, and is fairly prone to black and white thinking with shades of grey frustrating her. She's also terrible with money, because please she's a noble kid of course she is, and it's incredibly funny to me that she and Vex would butt heads over this. However, they both fly together for short bursts (usually with a couple of the smaller kids with them, once Vesper’s big and confident enough to carry one with her), Vex on her broom and Vesper with her wings. She was initially very afraid of heights until Vex helped her out with that. 

She spends a few years in her early twenties adventuring, to learn how to handle herself and grow as a person. She comes out of this with a more nuanced understanding of life, and maybe she’s had to make a few hard choices of her own while out on the road she talks to her parents about. Vesper is also very close to Cass, though her efforts to distinguish herself from her parents, plus them both recovering from the trauma they’d recently endured when she was young, mean they’re not as close to her as the other kids. Vesper’s actually fairly close to Grog and Pike - Grog is a great sparring partner and helps her break down complex problems, while Pike’s ALSO fun to spar with while also being a religious mentor of sorts, alongside Yennen while he’s still alive.

A note on the twins, first: 

Leona, ‘Lonny’:

I HC that these are genuine identical twins, not fraternal twins as Vex and Vax or Whitney and Oliver likely were IF they’re cis (I’m very fond of trans Vax HCs but I digress). As a result, either Leona or Wolfe is trans. I haven’t decided which, but one is. Given they are identical and were almost indistinguishable as babies, in the chaos of the birth (kindergartener Vesper's wings poofed out the first time at this point because it was so Exciting) Vex is pretty sure they got mixed up once or twice and no one’s sure which one is the actual firstborn. Not that it matters, it’s just something she occasionally remembers that sends her into a fit of giggles.

No one is sure which of the twins is technically older, however Leona maintains that she’s the older twin so we’ll go with that. Leona’s being a little imp in the one art we have of her, and given the personality I have in mind for her I see her as being a Bard. It drives Percy completely fucking batty at times, but she spends a fair amount of time with Scanlan and Kaylie one Vox Machina dinner and that’s that. She is mostly an orator and singer, but can often be found playing a small harp (Laura Bailey, *harp music*) and looking deceptively innocent and charming before she pranks her siblings or some poor visiting noble. However, her real passion is stories and secret lore - she spends much of her time in the library looking for juicy details from history she can spin into song. I haven’t narrowed down College of Whispers or College of Eloquence for her, either could work imo! She would love Hamilton and Six the Musical, make of that what you will lmao

Leona is a complete and utter little shit. Her reaction to having important parents is to use that as an excuse to get away with all sorts of hooligan shit, because really what could they do? Her teenage years are directly responsible for Vex’s grey hairs, and she’s only interested in her dad’s tinkering so far as it can make fun toys to play with. Leona is at her least irritating when reading and looking for knowledge, though, so she and dad will spend long hour in the library chipping away at some question or another or bickering about which historical account is more accurate. Vex loves listening to her sing and absolutely eggs on half the trouble she gets into, and privately congratulates her on a well made prank once any offended parties aren’t looking and once her heartrate slows down. She’s a very weird balance of cute nerd and little shit, and smart enough to lean heavily into the former to cloak her intentions. Think how Vex would use her flirting and winks to get what she wanted, but less discrimination trauma and more Bard and Being a Lil Bastard Sometimes.

 She eventually has a bit of a crisis, realizing that because of her family she can get away with most anything and not let her grow for her own merits, on top of always being seen as part of a set with her twin. As a result, when Percy takes her on a diplomatic/Ugh Fine We shall visit Scanlan trip to Westrunn, she kinda. maybe. Runs off to join the Cobalt Soul. I’m writing that fic rn hands off :vv But long and short of it is she finds her calling with the Soul, caring for and finding knowledge and then sharing it in ways that actually stick in peoples’ heads. Maybe a bit of spying and information gathering of her own if she’s a Whispers Bard instead of Eloquence so she can put her nosy nature to good use. She takes a particular delight in either exaggerating or correcting tales of Vox Machina and no one can ever tell which she’ll go with in a given moment.

Wolfe:

Wolfe does not insist he is the older of the twins - however, he is the more mature, level-headed and not humble at all of the pair, so he absolutely implies Leona is lying about it. I haven’t actually decided on Wolfe’s class or subclass yet. I like the idea of him not having a lick of magic to him, unlike his Bard twin. However, I am dead set on Galdric (you know -  Purvan Suul’s ever-living wolf companion who now guards Whitestone and per the Tal’Dorei update can be a Warlock patron) having taken an interest in him. SO! I could see him as an Undying Warlock (because oh, man, the ties to Vax would have Vex so emotional), or a Gloomstalker Ranger hunting side by side with his mother and this huge fuckall magic wolf in turns, or a Cavalier fighter riding either a horse or Galdric into battle. 

Wolfe is very similar to a young, pre-trauma Percy, but with something similar to Vax’s bleeding heart worn on his sleeve. He’s a bit arrogant and uppity, but it all comes from a good place of trying to make his parents proud and being proud of his family in turn. His way of forming an identity of his own is really to live up to the peoples’ expectations of what he should be, and as the son of heroes, so he puts himself under a lot of pressure to be perfect (unlike his twin who deliberately fucks around). Vex and Percy reassure him as best they can that he doesn’t have to be anything, but they do appreciate that at least one kid isn’t causing havoc of somesort at a given time. He’s very much a ‘break a few eggs to make an omelet’ kind of guy, but he will cry about it after. Hunting in the forest with mom - using a rifle, not a bow - helps him get a better handle on his emotions. He likes shedding the expectations of court out in the woods, where it’s just him, nature, maybe one of his parents too. And Galdric, whose expectations are unknown to him. He’s very much in awe of most of Vox Machina and not close to them as a result, because he’s fairly intimidated. He IS the darling of Whitestone’s populace, though, and great at getting along with the everyman once he gets over his ego and lets his heart shine through.

Wolfe and Leona are not nearly as close as Vex and Vax, because that was 90% codependency as a result of the hell they went through and these two both have other siblings to rely on and don’t need an ‘us vs the world’ mentality to survive. They’re close by virtue of being the same age, but Dan is not much younger than them and both are closer to him than eachother. Which is kinda necessary - Dan keeps their contrasting personalities from blowing up into full blown arguments. Vex has next to No idea how to handle this, however Percy remembers Whitney and Oliver and is better equipped to help the twins sort out their differences. Tho one time a guy courting Wolfe ends up only being in it for the prestige and Leona makes his life a living hell, and Wolfe helps cover for Leona when she’s skipping lessons to read in some secret corner.  

He might very well keep Galdric’s patronage or protection or Whatever It Is a secret from his parents as long as he can, because he knows how it’d worry and upset them, so there might be some drama about that idk. Cass might help him keep the secret while he figures out how to tell his parents and what to do, to give the poor kid some breathing room. Galdric doesn’t see what the problem is. He might have a few brief interactions with Vax as a result of his ties to the Raven Queen through Galdric, but given he’s not directly working with RQ herself there is a measure of distance that’s enough to keep Vex and Percy from completely freaking out.

Vax’ildan, ‘Dan’:

He also goes by Freddie given he got that middle name from his dad. Dan’s the absolute softest of the family - Vex has taken each kid out hunting regularly enough as mother-child bonding time, except the first time she and Dan went out he broke down crying at the thought of killing anything so they just take walks together. He’s a Druid - not a high level one by any means. Circle of the Shepherd or Land maybe?

I like the idea of him feeling very much like the odd one out of his family - both named for his uncle (Vesper’s namesake wasn’t a world-saving hero, she was a *teenager*) and not outwardly seeming to have the traits his parents are well known for. He can’t shoot a bow, can’t handle a gun, can’t tinker, can’t do Pelor things, he’s just the kid that really loves plants. (Am I projecting a hell of a lot of autism on this kid? Yes. I Am. You can’t stop me.) However, Percy and Vex and the rest of his siblings are eager to learn with him - Percy takes up gardening more, mostly on the technical side of the science behind it, to spend time with his son, while Vex takes him on walks in the woods and they go foraging for mushrooms and fun treasures together. She makes little stick dollies and forest toys with him, like her mother used to do for her and Vax. It might be on one of these outings they find Charlie, maybe?

He spends a lot of time with Keyleth in Zephrah, or in the Patchwood or castle garden when at home, and once he’s older he might move to Zephrah completely. Dan picks up a lot of Kiki’s verbal ticks from being around her so much. He might have even been there for Kiki’s assasination attempt, if the angst is worth it >;3c 

IDK I don’t have as many ideas for Dan as the others :c beyond him being close to Kiki but not at all like Vax ;; He’s also close to Trinket’s cub Charlie, though given how bear reproduction and aging works that portrait would have needed to be completed in the early summer and Charlie would be absolutely huge come the next year. I gotta think on this kid more.

Gwendolyne:

(oh no im getting tired now gktjrngn fuck.)

Is the sweetest de Rolo and has inherited Velora’s Owlbear stuffie, given to her one time when the family Had to go to Syngorn for some contrived reason, and some elves raised a stink about this little toddler. Which was not wise; Vex blew her gasket in a big way, Percy took the liberty of voiding some important trade agreements (Cass handled the paperwork when they got home), Syldor tried to salvage the whole thing while defending his grandchild, and while they did that Velora cradled her newest niece in a back room and calmed her down with the old beloved teddy. 

I see Gwennie as 100% being a daddy’s girl. Poor Percy - none of his kids really Got tinkering until the last one. Sure they could help in the workshop and loved to watch him make things, or try to make things of their own, but none really got the itch for it until he found Gwen trying to sneak down to make something for her stuffie at 10pm. I see her as an Artificer (Artillerist or Battle Smith)! Unlike her father’s love of clockwork and pretty creations, now, Gwen is 100% all about shit that goes boom, which is super funny given how sweet she is. Vex gets so many more exploding arrows once Gwen starts helping her dad. However, there is a minor point of conflict in that she likes the guns, the bombs, the explosions,and thinks they’re cool, and cannot for the life of her grasp why her father is so upset about having invented such cool things. She really likes Tary too.

Though I don’t think she would be an adventurer, I like the idea of Gwennie leaving home to sell some of her inventions and creations. Say, stopping by one of Gilmores’ storefronts and spending a few days doing some demonstrations and sales there, just seeing the cities the world has to offer but without any monster fighting - she’d rather sell the monster killing shit than engage herself. Inevitably something of hers does get used for nefarious purposes, though, and she understands her dad a bit better after this.

I also really, really want to incorporate Tiefling virtue names into Gwennie’s life, and while away from home I can see her going by Darling. Because it’s something she associates with her mother, with love, and she’s so much of a daddy’s girl that it’s nice for her to have something of her mom’s. IDK if anyone in Whitestone castle knows that this mildly famous merchant of insane tinkering feats that goes by Darling is their Gwennie, and IDK if she’s actually deliberately hiding this or hasn’t bothered to explain. She gets her incredible salesman skills from mom ofc.

All her family learn Infernal, because sometimes when she’s stressed she’ll lapse into it, and it becomes the official language of gossip for the de Rolo family whenever they’re at some important event and have some tea to spill in polite company. 

holy fuck that was more than I expected lmao. Enjoy? or not? weee

[aroacebunny]

i am politely asking for the essay on aroace gojo c:

okay okay OKAY im so excited fksjf

so, since we don’t really know much about the gojo clan’s behaviour and internal rules, everything i’m about to say is based from the societal attitudes of the zenin clan (assuming they are similar)

gojo satoru was born as a six eyes user on the gojo clan, an ability that only appears every 100 years or so, making him the most powerful sorcerer in the world. ever since he was a child he has had this responsibility of keeping the future of the gojo clan secure, improving and bettering his power, as well as an authority figure not only on his clan but also on the sorcery world.

he has been treated as the most powerful SINCE BIRTH and with that i imagine the idea of him having to keep the gojo lineage in the future so, the idea he would one day have to get a spouse (wife) and have children. i imagine he fell on a certain compulsive allosexual/alloromantic role, not only because of this but also because he is handsome. we can see amanai’s whole damn school (including a teacher wtf) flirt with him, something that he is probably used by now and enjoys to see happen.

him being aroace means that he probably never really understood the concept of having sex and romance, something that actually happens with a lot of aroace people going “wait, people actually do/like [x]?” and him having so many people flirt with him or find him attractive and being used to it could be an experience that he finds non-sexual and non-romantic, something that people say because they find your face nice to look at.

another aspect that makes my aroace signal go off is when gege akutami said that he probably would never be able to be faithful to one girl. a lot of people might see this as a gay moment (valid) but i see it more of a comp allo moment like before. as he grows and finds the pressure to have relationships too much to handle, gojo might force himself to date and sleep with people as “something everybody does”. i imagine that he might find somebody who is good looking but the moment he realises it’s not somebody he is interested in, he might cheat because he thinks he is bored of the person. same thing might happen by trying to have one-night stands, sleeping with people for the good feeling and then realising he’s not really attracted to them and move on.

more on the aro department, his words after geto’s death “he was my best friend/my one and only” seem like a queer platonic attraction he felt for him. somebody who he trusted and saw as his partner (probably on the friendship level since he never fully realised he possibly couldn’t not be straight)

something else i noticed, he thinks that flirting is like his way out of problems, since everybody finds him attractive? (obviously not on a fight but on a social situation) like on the juju sampo where he “flirts” jokingly with megumi because they all think megumi is getting hit on dksjfjs gojo’s first instinct was to diffuse the situation with his appearance since he is so used to.

people put him as a womaniser so much on fanfics and memes (which is pretty funny) but i really think he does such things because he thinks it’s normal for people to do that

anyway gojo satoru aroace supremacy i take no criticism

[pagananswers]

Allow me to reintroduce myself

So I don't know if or when I might be posting to this blog. It's kind of the one I have the least commitment to. It's funny how it all progresses. You open an account at one stage of your life, build a life around it, get busy, and the next thing you know, your interests have shifted and you no longer want to be the social reblogger of other people's ideas you once were.

This blog was previously dubbed "Color Me Gothic," but I'm just not passionate about it anymore, and a secondary blog on this account gained a lot more interaction, so I am dedicating my time there. As the new title might suggest, @paganquestions has something to do with Paganism! Specifically, it's about neopagan questions and answers. It's a safe place people can go to ask questions about Paganism and neopaganism, but I don't really get to talk about my own life there so much as advise on what the religion calls for as an experienced practitioner.

My history with religion is broad and thorough. I grew up as a Jew in a Jewish and Protestant Christian household, going to temple during childhood, and church in my teens and early twenties, but consistently finding solace in Paganism throughout that time. I practiced first as a Wiccan but found some faults with Wicca, so I have come (like many) to practice neopagan witchcraft ever since. I still identify as a Jew and also observe many Jewish customs and I'm an agnostic spiritualist. I study most world religions and their scriptures. I have a passion for Taoism, Islam, Shinto, and Buddhism. I grew up alongside a Native American community and I share beliefs, stories, and customs rooted in campfire legends and star gazing stories. I also grew up with my father telling me the greatest hits of Greek myths while explaining the map of the stars. From this vantage point, I have found myself particularly successful discussing religious topics.

I attempt to provide advice and insight from a very central perspective, and I often use Celtic metaphors given that much of Wiccan and neopagan conversation centers around Celtic and Norse lineages while mixing in Greek pantheon mythos. As a person who grew up between cultures and has a deep understanding and appreciation for white privilege and varied views of appropriation, I attempt to respect Wiccan and neopagan beliefs while drawing boundaries and creating understanding from a North American perspective. It's a tall order.

Giving advice on a religion and walking that narrow cultural line does take its tole often, so I am partitioning @pagananswers off from @paganquestions as a way to express and explore my own Pagan views, post art, and blog daily life as a neopagan Jew (mostly the pagan part, obviously). I also have a separate blog with a more secular approach @thefallenshelf where I discuss gardening, political views, and daily life as a physically disabled queer 30something woman in a heterosexual monogamous relationship, adjusting to career changes, cohabitating, and the wonderful world of "What do I do now?" that comes with a career-ending spinal injury. Whaaaat?

Feel free to check any of these blogs out as I am bound to focus more on one than another at any given time and if you like one, you're likely to enjoy at least one of the others. Feel free at any time to submit a respectful question. I love to interact. I'll catch you on the other side. Peace :-)

[yourstormthlaylirahh]

BL Tag Game

I was tagged  by @25shadesoffebruary thank you for tagging me! :)

If you had to watch one drama forever which would it be?

Bad Buddy is my comfort show, I love it so much and it is genuinely such an excellently crafted show (and also the first BL I watched ever ((back in January)) so it is sentimental).

If you could change the ending of a drama, which would you choose?

As much as I love the ending and think it fit the tone of the show, I would change the ending of Miracle of Teddy Bear. It may cheapen the show a little, but I like happy endings dammit! 

I would also change the ending of Plus & Minus - it started out so good and the ending fell really flat. Same with Kinnporsche - the writing went really sideways imo after episode 8 and the final episode was... something.

While I wouldn’t change the ending of History 3 Trapped, I would add a special reunion episode (side note but the anime No 6 is also in this same boat). 

Name your favourite drama and who your favourite character was.

I’m going to cheat and list 3 because making decisions is difficult.

1. Bad Buddy - Pran 

2. Triage - so many but if push comes to shove I’d say Tol

3. A Tale of Thousand Stars - Tian

Name a drama you dropped within a few episodes.

I’ve only dropped 3 dramas in total, so Check Out and That’s My Candy. Check Out was especially disappointing because I loved the special ep.  

Name a popular drama you've never watched and why.

Lots, since I am a drama newbie. A relatively popular one I have never watched and don’t intend to is TharnType. Some of the more popular ones I intend to watch sometime are SOTUS, Love by Chance, Utsukushii Kare, and the rest of the History series.

Name a drama you regret watching.

The episodes of Check Out I watched - I wish I had just kept the special as a one shot in my brain. Other than that I don’t really regret anything I have watched, even the shows that weren’t very good I still finished because there were enjoyable elements in them. The only possible exception to this is WBL2

Name a drama you thought you'd never watch but did and ended up liking it.

Honestly I didn’t think I would get this into BL in general - I assumed it would be like watching the yaoi I had dipped my toe into in high school, and we all know some of the uncomfortable tropes in old school yaoi asgkhjhxsjkd. There are definitely series which show this lineage more, but I started watching at a good time it seems, when more queer people are involved in production and there is a greater variety of stories starting to be told. Even the more tropey shows I have watched have been for the most part enjoyable. 

Man, I hope I worded that ok, I can’t get it to read like I don’t have a giant chip on my shoulder oops.

Specifically I didn’t think I would like 2Gether at all - I just watched for background for Still 2Gether because I wanted to complete P’Aof’s filmography. While there were parts I absolutely hated (cough the way they wrote Green cough cough) I did mostly enjoy watching.

Name a pairing you want to see.

MilkLove full series, please please PLEASE. I also think Gigie Chanunphat and Jan Ployshompoo would absolutely kill it in a GL. I have more GL pairings I want than BL honestly, though I am still holding out for NanonChimon. Edit: I also really want Mild and Baifern to do a GL together, their dynamic on 46 Days was so fun

Name a pairing you didn't think had any chemistry.

BrightWin. Also both pairings from Star & Sky, though I am not sure that that isn’t a case like OffGun, where as they got more comfortable they would develop chemistry and not just come across awkward.

Name a pairing you've seen in another drama that you like.

I am confused what this question is asking. Is it who we want to see more of? In that case, ForceBook please please please, and I will never say no to EarthMix. 

I can’t think of who to tag, so feel free to say I tagged you if you want to do it. :)