#i know i overshare but i wanted to document this

[pezpenser205]

3am monday morning mood

[moonastro]

the vibe you give out to others

pick a picture

left to right(top)-> 1,2

left to right(bottom)-> 3,4

°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes. °Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as i would entirely appreciate it). ° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!

PILE ONE

someone who can communicate hours on end with someone, usually about the deeper stuff. so you may like to share your thoughts a lot which leaves people guessing that you would be a very good person to talk to. you also are good with reading the vibes of a room, people almost expect you to change the atmosphere of the vibe within a group. you really are someone who solves problems, situation ships and other things people may need assistance with. i feel like you help others grow, you teach people from wrong or right and perform humanitarian acts. if you are in a bad situation, you get the heck out of there as soon as possible, people know that because you may express your thoughts and feeling through communication. i feel like you talk about the little things to others that they might even find that you can be oversharing at times. anyhow, you may look back on what people did you in the past or vice versa. you don't hold onto a thread, you make very clear decisions that take you wherever it may.

yeah, you learn from your mistakes and only go forward which makes you a stronger individual. there is still some youthful energy surrounding this pile, so don't forget to not be hard on yourself all the time, you give out but not necessarily get given back which allows people to use your time unnecessarily. people can also see a child in you, you may get told that you remind someone of their son or daughter. being behind the scenes is what you are used to and may project a certain insecurity that others notice. i feel like its that others see their own insecurities in you as well which may cause jealousy. you are careful though, you plan, you observe and you double check. there is nothing wrong with being in routine but i feel like people notice that you are too afraid of failure because you might have grew up to be the high achieving kid or the oldest child who had influence on the younger siblings and so forth. overall a very sensual and hardworking pile.

assigned song: Black beauty- Lana Del Rey

PILE TWO

very energetic around people or friends and family but think a lot by yourself, you may keep your true self hidden. you are such a good manifester and people notice that whatever you say out loud becomes real. people may call you a psychic because you just know things before others do, for example if a friend asks about something like an event and you just tell them like "watch this happen in there" and something like this and it happening. you are quite reserved with your feeling and emotions, you use them on better things. around you, others feel confident and secure. you are a very good empath and feel whatever others are feeling, so it is very easy to empress ones feelings to you. you are such a caring and observing individual that others feel nothing but security and comfort around you. honestly such a nostalgic pile!!

you crave a free life where you are not stuck to anything or anyone, people feel the freedom you possess. you don't aim to be powerful nor business oriented, you just want to see what's out there and see what other cultures and countries have in store for you. i feel like you have a plan that you have that consists of you travelling abroad and creating a happy home there at a new setting. you are good with legal matters like documents, credit cards, the law and so forth. you may know about it as you may be interesting in becoming a lawyer or working somewhere that involves a law, like police and so on. but on a real note, you balance everything out in your life, people see how well you split your routine in even pieces. overall, this is a very free spirited and intelligent pile!

assigned song: Ride- Lana Del Rey

PILE THREE

someone who reserves there space and energy, someone who talks very cautiously and are aware of their surroundings. a lot of people don't actually know how to figure you out and it may sound very cliché but i think its just because you don't reveal your feelings by making facial expressions and people don't know whether to laugh or cry when you tell them something serious. you might like to do stuff alone and may feel like a burden to others but it is not the case for other people, they see you as a sweet and isolated human being that likes their space and peace. i see a LOTTT of overthinking and just daydreaming in general. i feel like something is restricting you from taking action and i think it is your thoughts, relax pile 3😅. no but for real, others avoid you not because you are unlikable but because they see how you thrive alone and you don't look like the type of person that needs help from others.

you may have moved a lot as a child and felt like you lost many things because of that. i feel like you don't feel secure and people notice the disease you portray in your body language. that is totally not a bad thing but i feel like others see the frustration and a void that you have, this is very deep but I'm getting an image of just a black figure which may translate of you feeling numb or not feeling anything at all. i feel like this was in the past for some of you, however where there is hardships there is hope and that is exactly the case for this pile. on a good note, your smile brings comfort to others, may make others happy with your smile and that's just so sweet. you do have many ideas flooding in your mind and i feel like that could bring you excesses so be careful. you have many ideas to start over or to change your personality completely. overall, this is a very reserved and a busy mind pile!

assigned song: How to Disappear- Lana Del Rey

PILE FOUR

check out pile one if you felt drawn to it as it may resonate with some of you!! so, you care about others very deeply and this gives me motherly vibes. i feel like you may not listen to people and do your own thing but that's entirely okay but the way i see it is that you sometimes need to take advice in order to move forward. you stand your ground fairly and see the contrast between right and wrong, i feel like that gets people thinking how you pick up on things others don't pay much attention to. say if you called someone out for something, others may go like "oh yeah, i didn't even notice". you really cant be bothered to argue with no one, you feel like there is no point because people are childish and immature and that is something you would rather pass on. conflicts and any other sort of fighting is a strict no go for you. people get the vibe of how can you keep your cool??? they actually are very impressed of your skill to maintain your cool😊. i feel like also you go through very transformative periods in your life that actually change your way you act, maybe you go through different eras and like to experiment different styles and ways of living which is totally fine.

wow, you are a very powerful soul, you have some sort of power that others are stunned. you are literally the lion of the jungle, the boss, the CEO, the millionaire, the royal. WOwww just wow. people just keep getting surprise on surprise from you, you may have so many precious hidden facts about you that make people stunned by the fact that you have so much treasure hidden. people see you as a very humble individual who is always there for people and see the good in everyone. it is such a pleasure to be around you, people may feel almost lucky to have you in their life. you hold a lot of secrets as you may stand with he statement that if you talk about your achievements to others it may delay your success. overall, a very very very powerful and mysterious pile.

assigned song: LION- (G)-idle

that's it everyone, thanks for sticking by and like always don't be afraid to interact with this post however you'd like as i entire appreciate everyone's support and kindness!!

FRIENDLY REMINDER- paid tarot readings are available (DM or check out here for more info!!)

*IMAGES ARE NOT MINE*

[ellmeria]

𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕀𝕀

The following observations are some of the things I have noticed in people around me. They may or may not resonate with you as we have to consider the entire chart for more precise and accurate insights.

➛ Mercury-Neptune people can be so forgetful. The Neptune influence can “blur” their memory. The daydreaming tendencies do not help either.

➛ Scorpio Mars/Mars-Pluto have the fastest reflexes ever. These are the people you want to hire as bodyguards since they are also naturally protective.

➛ Adding to that, Scorpio Mars/Mars-Pluto natives need to be aware of their surroundings. They are not the types to listen to music at full volume due to the fear of missing out on what is happening around them.

➛ Chiron in the 12th House natives are more prone to having eye injuries/impaired vision. Chiron indicates wounds, and the 12th House rules the eyes.

➛ Also, I have mentioned in the first part of my observations that Mars in the 12th House people do not know how to express their temper outwardly. Instead of this, I noticed that they are more likely to resort to eye rolls. Lots and lots of eye rolls.

➛ Saturn in the 3rd House people are often the quiet fellows in the corner. They embody the saying 'less talk, less mistake.' Some keep their feelings to themselves, while some resort to creative means of communication. Anything else aside from direct and verbal expressions.

➛ Leo with Virgo placements hates being reprimanded. The pride (Leo) and the feeling of being always right (Virgo) make for someone who cannot accept criticisms quite well.

➛ Prominent Aquarius placements always have the urge to “document” everything they see on technology. I noticed they always fish out their phone cameras whenever they see something worthwhile.

➛ Neptune/Pisces in the 11th House natives may get taken advantage of by their friends. They usually cannot see their peer's red flags, so they often have difficulties cutting them off.

➛ If you have your Moon in the 1st House, you may try your luck by doing reaction videos on YouTube. This placement makes for people whose emotions (Moon) are evident in their facial expressions (1H). The audience will not get bored of you.

➛ The house Gemini occupies in your chart may tell you where you overshare/talk a lot about.

Gemini in the 10th House may talk a lot about career and ambitions. They may overshare something with a father figure. Gemini in the 2nd House may talk a lot about gaining financial abundance. They may also overshare their income, material possessions, and so on.

➛ Venus in the 3rd or the 9th House is a huge indicator of a sapiosexual. Venus rules love and attraction, and these houses represent education.

➛ Some of the Capricorn placements I know have noticeable teeth. It may be the thing that other people remember/notice about them first. Capricorn rules the teeth.

➛ 12th House placements may become intimidated easily, especially if they do not have Aries, Scorpio, or 1st House placements.

➛ North Node in Leo is meant to overcome their inferiority complex in this lifetime.

➛ Also, I believe Leos and Aquariuses may feel superior to others due to different reasons.

Leos may feel superior to others because of how confident they are. They often steal the spotlight and like receiving attention from other people.

Aquariuses may feel superior to others because of their unique taste and perspective. They take pride in being different.

It may also happen as an act to mask inferiority. Leos' insecurity may cause them to indulge in other people's attention as a coping mechanism. The same way that Aquariuses might felt down at one point because of feeling outcasted and misunderstood.

➛ Neptune-Pluto aspects in a chart may indicate fear of mirrors or reflections.

➛ Cancer Moons 🤝 suddenly getting all emotional and extra affectionate when drunk

➛ Saturn in the 5th House may keep their hobbies/interests to themselves. Either they avoid talking about them with people who do not share the same interests, or they do not like talking about them with people in general.

➛ Earth Sign in the 3rd House could be a kinesthetic learner. 3rd House may indicate how we perceive information, and Earth signs are highly in-tune with their senses.

➛ Men with prominent Cancer placements love calling their significant other, usually a feminine figure, “momma” or any terms a child would use to call their mother. Cancer rules motherhood.

➛ Mars-Neptune aspects may appear as clumsy.

➛ Scorpio/Pluto in the 10th House does not like showing their achievements to the public. Also, these people may like being underestimated at first, so they can prove you wrong eventually. They are most fond of surprises.

➛ I'm sorry, but why are we associating Taurus with gift-giving while continuously giving them the reputation of being possessive? Isn't it a bit contradictory? Anyway, physical touch remains their top love language.

➛ Jupiter-Pluto aspects are the biggest risk-takers. They feel powerful (Pluto) when gambling. (Jupiter) And most of the time, they get what they want.

➛ An extroverted Gemini is hands down the most extroverted person ever.

➛ If someone's ascendant sign is the same as the sign in your 12th House, you may be irritated by their presence or the way they express themselves.

➛ Several women I know who have Venus-Saturn aspects in a chart like calling men they find attractive “sir”. This placement makes for someone whose type (Venus) is people older than them (Saturn), so that explains why.

➛ People who have their personal planets in your angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) are the ones who will leave a significant impact or influence on your life.

➛ Taurus Risings' and Virgo Risings' voices are to die for. They have the most soothing ones, in my opinion. I can listen to them talk for hours.

➛ It's crazy how Gemini Stellium people can look different every single day.

➛ Scorpio Risings can be seen as dry texters. I believe it is probably due to Capricorn occupying their 3rd House of communication. 3rd House is ruled by a Mercurial sign (Gemini), which is associated with social media.

➛ Mercury-Chiron/Chiron in the 6th House is probability prone to anxiety and nervousness.

➛ It's astounding how Capricorns, no matter how goofy and crackhead they act, lead so well. This girl in my class looked like someone who wouldn't take anything seriously. But the moment she got the leadership position, she turned into an entirely different person who could lead anyone to perfection. It was so fascinating to witness.

➛ Chiron's house placement may show whom you give the most pity.

Chiron in the 5th House may have a soft spot for children. Chiron in the 12th House may have a soft spot for the elderly.

➛ Moon in the 8th House may inherit something from their mother more than their father. It can be a physical attribute (they may look more similar to their mother than their father), personality, money, and material possession, among others. The Moon represents the mother, and the 8th House rules over inheritances. The same situation may apply in Sun in the 8th House natives with their father. (Sun represents the father)

➛ The Air Signs couple's love language is delivering new gossip to each other. What a sweet bonding moment!

“𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎. 𝙾𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝙸 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝, 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚛 𝙿𝚒𝚗𝚔.” – 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚢𝚗𝚎-𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚒 𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚙

Side note: Hello! Thank you so much for reading until the end! I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think of this post. Likes and reblogs are highly appreciated. 💓

Credit to @firefly-graphics for the dividers. The photos used are taken from Pinterest. Credit goes to the rightful owners.

Copyright © 2022 ellmeria | All rights reserved.

[intriga-hounds]

last night my two younger brothers were the victims of a hate crime. they’re ok now, but as y’all know, this blog is my diary and i overshare to a fault, so here we go:

i am in NV visiting my parents, and my dad and brothers went out to have a boys’ night on the strip. they are a wholesome bunch who just want to have a drink or two, dance, and eat a good meal. they ended up at XS nightclub at the wynn hotel and were having fun. my mom, sister, and i stayed at the house and were enjoying their regular video updates.

then we got a text from my dad that said, “a guy attacked (bro1) and then went after (bro2).”

we received the picture on the left above.

my youngest brother was minding his own business when a tall guy came up and harassed him for “looking at my drink.” he called him names, mocked his physique, then called him a f*g and grabbed him by the throat. (my brothers are not gay; however, just looking the part to this guy was enough for him to attack.)

my other brother grabbed the guy’s shirt and the guy threw him to the floor, cutting open his scalp. (he ended up with three staples in his head at the hospital.) my dad, who’d just been on his phone checking into a flight for the next day, saw what was happening and grabbed the guy as he was cocking back his fist to punch my brother. he bought the few crucial seconds needed for security to take control. had that guy landed even one punch, my brother would’ve gotten really hurt. dude was like 6’3” and my dad and brothers are 5’6” and slim.

the staff at XS nightclub treated my family like they were the criminals, and only through persistence did my dad manage to get pictures and names of witnesses.

naturally, we will be pressing charges. we have photos of the attacker (tall bearded white man with an american flag hat), security footage, a police report, and EMT/hospital documents.

[starry-blue-echoes]

I rediscovered golden ghost and I just had a funny thought.

You mentioned how Jolene would be surprised when she found out about jotaro fighting dio, but can you imagine how surprised dio would be when he finds out what jotaro does for a living.

I mean I know that dio lived with the joestars so he probably would have heard something about marine biology, but that was the 1880s the theory of evolution wasn’t even commonly known yet let alone excepted and marine bio was just starting to become more documented. Plus I’m sure that once he got out of his coffin he wasn’t looking at career prospects.

And I’m sure dios view of jotaro is probably a bit twisted. I mean the only times he sees him is when he’s spying on the crusaders during battles/when they’re traveling or in the final battle. Those were mostly times when jotaro was angry or quiet mostly. He probably sees him as this angry buff teenager who is so protective of his family that he’d go through an entire tarot deck of stand users, was clever enough to trick dio and beat him without any hamon,and mastered time stop so much quicker. I’m sure dio sees him as at least a bit of a reflection almost.

So i can only imagine his surprise when he finds out that jotaro didn’t take over the world, didn’t betray anyone,and basically just didn’t do anything that dio would do. According to Jolene He just went and studied fish.

JRBGHJSRBVHWBRHVBW Y E A H -

oh my god imaginle how funny it would be after Jotaro's failed rescue mission would go. In the early days of their interactions there wasn't too much going on between Jolyne and Dio. Sure he was a snarky jackass, but there wasn't much else. There was nothing personal about it. Even when he sees Jolyne's birthmark and learns she's a Joestar, that doesn't add that much to their back and forth

but when Jotaro shows up? When Dio learns Jolyne is his daughter???

oh BOY have things suddenly gotten so much more interesting for him

and honestly, seeing Jotaro now? He's going to think it's hysterical. The boy who once stole his power, who outsmarted him, was felled by a mere bullet and had been working a civillian life. He tried to settle down and study fish of all things. He practically squandered the power he had for this and it's too funny for Dio to be angry about it

Dio of course is up front with very very little, and the only times he ever properly shares information is when he's trying to annoy Jolyne, freak her out, or make her angry/upset. And even then, he'll usually purposefully exclude certain bits of information or overshare others to change how Jolyne views what's happened

for example, how he explains his and Jotaro's history :)

I'd imagine Jolyne would eventually ask if he knew her dad, and I kinda want him to just. Laugh and look at her with a grin full of teeth and respond with "Who do you killed me in the first place?" and then goes on to very graphically explain how Jotaro killed him when he wasn't even an adult yet

this of course leads her to ask why. Why would he do something like that?

and Dio doesn't come out with the answer right away. He knows Jolyne doesn't trust him and knows she knows he was a bad person in life. He's not doing this to get her on his side, he's just doing it out of sick twisted satisfaction

and just. God when Jolyne learns the reason behind it all. Because you bet Dio's going to spare no details when it comes to telling her all the horrors he inflicted on her father when he even younger than she was

and Dio....... honestly show Jolyne a very interesting side of her father she's never known. The stubborn warrior who refused to back down no matter the injuries or emotional harm he faced. He watched his best friends, his grandfather, all die before his eyes when he was 17 years old and refused to give up because if he did that would spell death for his mother

Dio has almost exclusively negative things to say about Jotaro....... but because it's coming from him that makes her really start to think about it and the implications, and in a weird way she starts to understand her father a bit better

[chazmcfreelyhater]

CHAZ/TOBOR BRO HEADCANONS

omg. so I realised that after I drew Chaz/TOBOR content one time that i haven’t actually shared how important they are to me. erm. so I have made a silly little document of background/headcanons that could have been pages long but I didn’t want to be TOO insane.

also BIG DISCLAIMER the TOBOR headcanons and art at the bottom belong to Chiptoons on Insta/Chipt00ns on Twitter. SHE IS AMAZING and helped me to edit this doc so thank u for ur service chippy. thank you for inventing tobor mysims

They became friends because we were friends and it was like dragging our children along to a function and being like “ok now go play w the other kids” lol. lmao.

We both have OCs x canon with the robots so that's pretty much where it all started from- I probably won’t do a whole timeline at least for now but basically Makoto, Naomi (Louie’s OC) and Vivian (Chippy’s OC) would all spend time together regularly until they started inviting the bohs along

TOBOR was. a bit suspicious of Chaz at first since he had some pretty bad trust issues when it came to humans, and also because that’s usually the normal reaction to meeting Chaz, but he honestly wasn’t super phased by it. Chaz was used to people being kinda cold towards him yet also had a tendency to latch onto them anyway. Even though he spent hours actively trying to annoy him and talk about bike mechanics, which was pretty much just his attempt at being friendly and having fun- the biggest thing for TOBOR was that Chaz would never use the fact that he was a robot against him. Like he would never treat him like any less of a person, to Chaz he literally was just Some cool dude with a green head

Even when they become like Friend friends they still are surprisingly careful around eachothers’ boundaries. Tbh a lot of their relationship is built off things most people wouldn’t expect from them, as in the two scary bitch boys are actually very respectful of eachother and keep secretz and look out for the other n their bffs. It’s not OOC if we make the chars. IDGAF

They actually didn’t think they’d get as close as they did: TOBOR and Chaz essentially see eachother as brothers at this point, since they (mostly through accident) found out they had a surprising amount in common, with the way people kinda assumed stuff about them beforehand and were not the nicest . Chaz considers him one of his best friends bc he is CRINGE and is still constantly out to annoy him but at this point TOBOR just effortlessly shows him up. Chaz also likes to bully him on account of he hearts Vivian and you know what who doesn’t. They both got parental issues too which they also kinda relate to each other with; sometimes there will be stuff between them that they tease eachother for RELENTLESSLY, but if anyone else were to bring it up at all they would be killed within the second. TOBOR tends to stick up for Chaz a lot since he is more naïve and struggles to see when people are actually trying to upset him instead of just being Chaz Haterz for fun. Defending people and having their backs is his love language.

There is also a whole thing in the future with him/Makoto being more closely associated with the Delarosarenas but I don’t want to overshare or b cringe but Kerry literally adores TOBOR and the fact he loves cooking :> he simply IS her new son and she displays interest in hiring him one day. If the lab thing doesn’t work out. Which it is not. Again they r like BROTHERS make no mistake we do not ship them.

Silly little HC list for the fun of it:

Chaz likes to attempt to tackle TOBOR every time he sees him and it always ends in an injury.

TOBOR is secretly very good w Chaz’s younger family members.

TOBOR attempted to teach Travis how to cook for Chaz romantic style. After it all went to shit he informed the Englishman the only way to save it would be to fake his own death.

Chaz’s favourite name for TOBOR is “Flat Head Ass”, closely followed by “Toby”. His bro name for them is “Chobor”. TOBOR is repulsed by every single thing that comes out of his mouth.

TOBOR considers Naomi a little sister. Not super relevant but when Chippy said he probably did I wept. oh how I wept

Toborviv bridal party at Chavis wedding. I may be cringe but I am free.

TOBOR succumbs to the fact he is in love with Vivian. Instead of confessing, he panics and asks Chaz, who has NO electronic experience, to program it out of him. They both damn near die, bro style

TOBOR LETS HIM INFODUMP he is happy that Chaz trusts him ahehe

WTF!!! Da gallery:

[electricbloodflow]

r/DID toxicity

A post of mine on r/DID got removed for "spreading misinformation." The misinformation? Someone asked what polyfragmentation was and I summarized the information on traumaanddissociation.net, meanwhile someone kept yelling at me that I was wrong because you can only be PF if you have their specific presentation with like ten different obscure things they have that are only seen in programming (which our system coincidentally had but I know many PF systems that don't,) which goes against the clinical literature wherein PF systems have been documented from cases without programming or OA and their structure is a bit different AND EQUALLY VALID, plus not everyone with an RAMCOA background splits and responds the same way even if they are PF.

I'm done. I'm not putting up with this "your system has to be exactly like mine or you're faking" mentality. Half the threads on that sub complain about people who have a different presentation than them and how that's faking.

Things that people on r/DID think mean someone is faking:

Having any fictive alters (uhm, Dr. Kluft has some published research that disagrees with you - fictive and factive alters are well documented!)

Blogging about intimate system details or alter lists. Because apparently having system pride and wanting to allow all of your alters to self-express is faking???

Anyone who overshares instead of being secretive about their disorder is faking, as if oversharing AND undersharing aren't both common trauma responses. People with florid presentations of DID are "role playing." Again, DID is secretive in many people, but in some it is not as well hidden, and in even more people - they feel safe at a certain point and start allowing themselves to openly represent themselves in some spaces - which is a part of their healing process. This is faking according to r/DID apparently.

Don't question fusion - anyone who sees their alters as more than just parts of a whole but as their own person or having their own soul is faking. You are not allowed to form your own opinions on your disorder and discuss them and how others see things. You have to have the exact same opinion as the majority of posters on the sub. Personally, I know the common clinical psychology line on it is that we are fragmented parts of one whole, but I question that because of the finding that alters have different default mode networks and can persist after memories have been shared. It's unclear by what neural mechanism they operate on in the first place. It's unclear what a "personality" is even in singlets. Maybe it is the default mode network, and people with DID according to studies do have more than one. I also have been in treatment for almost 10 years and have never had fusions outside of less than distinct parts and fragments integrating so fuck fusion, we (my system) work better as functional multiples anyway. Also my alters don't really make one whole and continuous person if you added them together, they have mutually exclusive or just different preferences and views that have nothing to do with trauma. It doesn't make sense for us to fuse because we see things in such different but valid and insightful ways, and we coexist wonderfully and sharpen our perspective by sharing things one alter might notice but another didn't. Systems that see themselves as parts of one whole are valid. Systems that want to fuse are valid. Systems that question this are just as valid as well.

Users insulting people who step in and speak up for systems who are invalidated by such posts, even if research is provided showing the thing people are fake claiming is a documented phenomenon. And honestly, you don't need research to back up your existence - it is nice to have, and I'm so glad there is research validating things like fictive-heavy systems because people are so nasty to them when all they're doing is trying to express who they are, but clinical research has not yet investigated so many things about DID and never will fully document what it means to be multiple because research is more focused on symptoms and treatment and not on documenting individual perspectives.

It feels like everyone there has an axe to grind and very few people are there to help others and commiserate.

[sciderman]

hi sci! i think at least once a day i am taken aback by how much of an incredible artist you are. your ability to create and your passion for it is just astounding to me, over the course of a few years your work has become such a pillar of inspiration for me 💘

i've asked you before for drawing tips and i value those so much but i've found myself actually wanting more and more to get into writing fanfiction but i have about a million worries and i'm not entirely sure to start. i definitely smashed out a few so-bad-its-bad obscure anime fanfictions as a kid but i really haven't touched creative writing in eons. I know you've been writing for a good while, but do you have any writing tips you tend to refer to or any advice for begginners? ... and any advice on getting over my internalised cringe culture when i can't open a word document and type out "peter parker" without shrivelling into myself...

anyway! have a great day! i love you very much and i am so excited for the spidercablepool fic to ruin my train of thoughts for the forseeable future :] ❤️

immediate cringe upon the mention of "peter parker" is par for the course, i'm afraid

bless you so much @saeram!! bless you for all your kind words, i... houugh... thank you so, so much. thank you so much for reading the goofy things i put out into the world - i'm so, so glad you're enjoying it!

i don't know if i have a lot in the way of writing advice - i think the only way to overcome the shame of it is just to whisper "i am cringe and i am free" and do it. i think anything you enjoy doing is worth doing - and, you know, if it's not enjoyable you just wouldn't do it. you post your first fanfiction - you get feedback, you find out people hate it when you write in first person. you learn, you come back stronger than ever. (not from personal experience. okay. yes. it's from personal experience.)

(i still like my first person pov fics. shut up.)

maybe my first advice is don't write in first person (people hate that.) (but actually i love it, when it's done well. but i'm freaky kinky.)

i'd say reading definitely helps when it comes to writing, but again, that's me giving good advice that i don't follow (i'm jared, 19.) - i mostly read comics. and i mostly read comics that i don't enjoy. don't be like me. read things that you enjoy - even if you've read it a hundred times before, odds are, it'll inspire.

i did say when people asked me advice on writing dialogue (which is my absolute FAVOURITE thing to write) - watching movies and television with dialogue / characters that you really like honestly really helps - more so than reading, I think, for me. performance is so, so important when i'm writing dialogue. it's not just words, i have to have such a clear picture of how it's being said, ya feel. how the characters are performing it. and so, in that way, it plays out a little bit like a movie in my head, even though there's still a lot of internal monologue in there (the internal monologue i write is often very reliant on visual metaphor too - i'm just - i'm a really visual person, i think.)

all in all i don't think there's any better advice than just DO it. just DO it! and once you've done it once, the second time is easier. and then the next, and then the next. it might help to discuss it with others - do some back-and-forth, or even have proof-readers - (i rarely do, but i also love to overshare all my wips, because i'm a giddy little schoolgirl when i'm knee-deep in my writing.)

if you'd like to spitball ideas or share your writing (particularly in regards to peter parker, my beloved) i'd be happy to help! god speed and good luck, and i hope you'll be putting your beautiful fanfic babies out into the universe for us starving folk to enjoy

[amethystina]

I just saw this on X (formerly known as twitter) and I immediately thought of you. And I don't know why I had the urge to send it to you, so here it is.

It describes perfectly how I feel about your writing. I usually don't read ongoing fics, but if I find one really intresting I read the first chapter to have a better understanding of it and save it for when it is finished. But with 'Who holds the devil', I felt like I couldn't stop reading. Like I physically couldn't stop reading, and it was all due to your writing. Everything you write about, every detail, every emotion, and every expression is written in the most unique and intresting way I have ever read.

The reason I sometimes prefer reading over watching things is because I have the ability to imagine what I am reading and emmerse myself completly in it when the writing is done well. And you don't just do it well, you do it INCREDIBLE.

In my personal experience, you are the first writer with which I like the long descriptions of things. Because when I read them, nothing feels too long or too much, it just feels perfect for the storytelling. And I only realise that there were a lot of words written after the fact, because everything just sails smoothly.

I don't know why I had the urge to send you this 😅, and I hope I didn't overwhelm you with my unstructured oversharing on here. But I just wanted to say, you are incredible and I hope you stay healthy and happy in the future (even if you suddenly decide to stop writing this fic, there is no pressure as you have already given us a lot).

Take care 💜

I am a little overwhelmed, not going to lie, but in a good way? In that way where I don't really know how to respond because I'm feeling so many things right now, but all of them good.

I've said it before but it will never not blow my mind when I hear just how much my writing seems to affect people. Because it doesn't feel all that glamorous to me, you know? When I'm sitting there, frowning at my document, trying to figure out what word goes where. Or when I'm trying to find the right rhythm and cadence to the sentences, and capture the right emotions and imagery to tell the story I can see playing out inside my head.

But I am, of course, incredibly flattered and also very proud to know that I can have such an impact. I started writing fanfics on a whim — because I wanted to write at least one before I died — and the art of writing (or whatever you want to call it) wasn't even something I reflected on at the time. Well, tbh, I can't say that I do that all that much now, either — I just write what I think sounds nice xD

Point being, even if I've always put a lot of effort into my writing, it never really occurred to me that I might end up being genuinely good at it. That felt like such an unobtainable goal that I never even considered it. And it's been pretty disorienting to be told that I am (but, again, in a good way).

Especially since I go against a lot of the common writing advice that you see floating around. I write a lot of words — some that are definitely not needed. I use adverbs, adjectives, and whatever the heck I want. I often do a lot of telling instead of showing. I repeat things and spell things out for the readers in a way that good writers shouldn't. I do a lot of hand-holding with my readers, taking them through every step of the character's thought process and reactions. I write detailed descriptions of what the characters are feeling instead of only showing it through their actions. The list goes on.

Like, if you look at what the writing advice says, I should be a terrible writer xD

But I'm glad that I'm not. I'm glad that I can write things that move people and that the stories I tell feel that engaging. And I love being able to share them and spread the joy. It's such a wonderful feeling to know that I've made a difference somehow, however small it may be.

So thank you so, so much for your kind words. Which feels wholly inadequate to convey just how grateful I am that you took the time to write and send this, but trust me when I say that it means a lot to me. I never thought I'd reach this point, with people reaching out to me just to tell me how much they love my writing. How wonderful is that? It leaves me utterly speechless sometimes.

How is this my life?

And so far I have no plans to stop writing Who Holds the Devil, don't worry. I can't promise it'll happen quickly what with everything that's going on in my life right now (like being officially diagnosed with burnout due to long Covid — yay me) but I'm way, way too stubborn to give up. And I also love the fic and the characters too much to stop xD I want to see this through to the end just as much as the rest of you.

So yeah. Thank you again for sending this — it made my day. And you take care, too 💜

[lixenn]

COMES IN TO BOTHER YOU. what was the first fic you wrote? do you have any cool keychains/trinkets you carry around? if money and time was no object, what field of study/career would you pursue? what is a book youre currently reading?

WOW SO MANY QUESTIONS I LOVE IT!!

Let's get you some answers then:

First fic

... Already stumped at that one, because damn my memory is so fucking bad. I can't even ruffle through my documents on laptop because when I first started writing I had a different one and I'm not sure if I transfered all the files when I upgraded.

*tries to make the brain do the thinking thing*

I think actually my first try at anything fanfic like was with my super cringy self-insert thing into the Percy Jackson universe. I didn't even know fanfic was a thing at the time and I'm pretty sure I deleted that document because it went absolutely no where, so yeah that was probably it. I was and still kinda am pretty obsessed with Uncle Rick's work, so it's no surprise to me that I tried my hand at writing fanfic without knowing the concept even existed. However I wouldn't be able to tell you what that story was about even if you put a gun to my head so I can't really give you much detail.

Cool keychain/trinkets

Unfortunately no cool keychains for me, I have a heart shaped one my mum got me from her trip to Berlin but that's pretty basic. As for trinkets? Do earrings count? Because I have some pretty dope sword earrings.

The keychain situation might change though, because my friend is going to Japan in May and he promised to get me a souvenir, so maybe I'll have a cool KHR keychain soon (might get something else though who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Field of study/career

It's a toss up between Writer and Owner of Small Crochet Business. I would love to spent my day just being creative and making stuff. I do like science and I think with all the time I invested in my studies I can say I'm not bad at it but it's not my passion. Like, learning about new stuff is fun and I certainly can do experiments and data analysis but give me the option to simply chill on my couch/bed and just create, I would choose it over science every single time.

I'd probably need to get a better grip on scheduling my day because I realized having a strict routine does wonders for my mental health but otherwise just let me make stuff and I'll be happy.

BOOKS

*stares at all the books in my shelf that I've started but currently don't have the energy to read*

...

You want me to choose just ONE?

Well, if we take the one I read the most recently it's Assisstant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Meahrer. It's a cozy fantasy romance, easy to read and quite funny at times. I liked the premise so I picked it up and I'm over half way through but my brain is so focused on writing right now, I don't really have the motivation to read (which is very strange since normally it's the other way around.)

Other titles that are gathering dust in my self:

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch; also funny but in a more serious way, very heavy on the worldbuilding which is awesome but it takes a lot of brainspace so I put it on hold for now.

As Good as Dead by Holly Jackson; I binged the first two books in the trilogy in a day, but this one a bit darker than the others (which makes sense because shit happened) and I need to be in a certain brainspace for that.

The colour of magic by Terry Prachett; I read a lot of Discworld as a kid but I read it in German. This book is my first try reading Prachett in his original glory and it's actually a bit difficult, because again very heavy on the worldbuilding.

I know you only asked for one book, but I'm a chronic oversharer and you asked about BOOKS okay?! I'm bad at controlling myself when it comes to book discussions, so be glad I just kept it to four examples, I could have listed more!

[doctorguilty]

Mental health

I guess it wasn't all for nothing I basically just came face to face with some hard truths about the way I've been minimizing my suffering and life and a bunch of stuff, it's a bit too personal as much as I otherwise like to overshare, but it's just like the other day in therapy my therapist brought to light some very observable patterns in stuff I'd say, and confronting myself afterwards over how unhealthy it is was rough, it hit me really hard, it's not like a personal failing though it really is just.. stuff rooted in my deep sense of worthlessness.. my belief that my suffering is of lesser importance than others, etc

The other hard part to it all was talking to my partner about how it impacts my health and future and just .. spilling it all out, getting their perspective, admitting I need more help than I have ever asked for, fearing rejection as someone like me does.. a big looming thing over me is the likihood my partner may not be able to move in with me as soon as we planned (which was gonna be early next year) and like again it's personal but it's all tied together like my self worth and things blah blah blah, but just being like the way I am living I am so unhappy I have been unhappy for so long, I've never had a happy place to live, it's at the point where my physical health is worsening because of the impact mentally and I can't stay in this dark tunnel like this where I'm losing more and more every day, more energy, more health, I can't make it outdoors as much I can't draw and do art as much it's at the point where even playing video games is getting harder my brain is like, that of an animal in a tiny cage that just lies around waiting to die, I could go on, but it's going to get worse soon with seasonal depression and more chronic pain, etc.

Anyway I digress the hard truth is my situation isn't sustainable no matter how much I myself it's fine because my bar for quality of life is on the floor and I dont have the resources to make it better. I just don't. So I admitted it.. it was hard, but I am relieved because my partner loves me and does not want to see me hurt like this and pretend it's good enough. It's not. They know it's not.

So there's been some new talk of plans, what can be done if a home together is not yet possible, something other than, I just wait and try to like, keep myself alive and just accept that's the bar that's all I get, being not dead. It's perhaps a possibility to help me afford to move out of my poor environment and support me while I get my health in order and not feel incapacitated by hopelessness. I that's what we touched base on! P much! The reality of things and agreeing I need (and deserve, allegedly <- self hate moments) a better quality of life and not allowing my misery to be the best compromise.

I'm grateful to be loved by someone who wouldn't just.. flip the table over in me and tell me I'm nothing but a burden and dead weight.. I'm grateful to be something a person as wonderful as my partner feels I'm worth investing in..

We're gonna talk about it more in person soon.. and probably what I need to do is get my disability application back on the front burner (is that an expression) as much of a pain it will be to dig up 8+ years of documents I need to reference for it.. but I just think.. that is a way more sustainable life, if we can't move in together soon.. if I am not suffering in a toxic environment (for the first time ever 🥲 ) I can last for years if need be, the long distance would feel less oppressive for sure when my life isn't just a depression fog and yearning to be saved. If they can save me NOW, I will be LESS wounded and sick when we ARE living together, that's for sure.

I just like having a plan anyway. I hate stagnation. I hate this dark tunnel. The moment I got some news that made the light shot miles further again, became a pinprick of light, I spiraled downward. I've been miserable. I need to get out. I need it now, not a mystery number of years from now. But just talking about it, putting it all out there and being told, yes I will help you, I don't want to see you suffer anymore just because of circumstances changing, it felt like a weight off me. At least that is something for now..

If you read this far I'm impressed. You must be pretty invested in my life, which is flattering ;×;

[pentanguine]

Python's 2023 in review

Enjoy me rambling and oversharing in typical long-winded fashion

I am so glad I stumbled into public librarianship. When I graduated I was still so sure I was going to work in an academic library, and it took fate intervening for me to realize that still probably wasn’t right for me. I love the public library combination of working with popular collections (the books actually circulate!?) and helping people with practical problems. It makes me feel useful, and like I’m part of the wider world

Unfortunately I am beset by imposter syndrome. I only graduated three months before I started the position, and I feel underqualified for what I know was a very competitive search. I am definitely the youngest person on my team, and I am so scared of disappointing people. It will be fine

Also unfortunately my commute is still way too long, but my god, I’m in control of it. All I have to do is get on the bus and stay on the bus til my stop. There’s no mucking around with a local shuttle service that can have a wait time of over an hour and has to be precisely timed while you also try to make a train connection…I just get on one bus. Wow. When the weather’s nicer and it’s lighter out, I’m going to try walking home to see if it’s faster

I dated one of my friends for nine months, and that was fun and weird. I really enjoyed just getting to express those feelings for once, but I didn’t like how much space he took up in my life. I’d set aside a night for myself and then he’d say “hey, want to call?” and I’d go “😍YES let me drop everything to hear your voice!”, which was very annoying. I desperately wanted more time to myself, but I was so infatuated I wanted to spend time with him more. I think I’d like to avoid that in the future.

I definitely did not experience Dating and Romance the way most people do, but it’s hard to tell if that’s because I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum, or because that’s just how I am as a person. I do feel like a lot of stuff was unintuitive to me, sort of like I was a robotic anthropology student experimenting with intimacy in order to gain a better understanding of the humans it’s been studying, but I also feel like that about many of types of human interaction, and “being attracted to him” was not where the disconnect was. Over the course of the relationship I kept up a strategy document outlining my goals and took 27 pages of notes, and that’s probably the most relevant fact about how my sexuality functions

I have started eating my burgers with all the toppings! This seems small and meaningless from the outside, but I used to eat every component of my food separately, because I Had To, and it feels really nice to just do things instead of holding myself apart so I can carefully avoid Bad Things which Are Not Right. It feels like relaxing into life like a warm bubble bath.

27 feels distinctly different from 26. Feels a lot like My Late 20s, which feels like Almost 30, which feels like an entirely different stage of life. My knee clicks louder and louder when I go up stairs, and my knee and elbow hurt when the weather changes. I hear my spine making noises a lot.

AAAGHHHH! I am trying to get top surgery this year and I don’t want to talk about it! But also that’s dumb because I want my friends to know about it! Also, reading other people’s reflections about top surgery has been so, so fucking helpful to me over the years, and it would be nice to add to that informal pool of knowledge by periodically sharing stuff. Unfortunately I am deathly allergic to talking about myself on the internet, so I don’t know if I can do it. But it’s a thing that’s happening! I am going to get a referral letter from my therapist, and then I can schedule consultations!

I have no idea what I’m doing with gender. At some point I seem to have stopped identifying as nonbinary, and while I like being called a man but I don’t think I am a man, except for the part where sometimes I wonder if I’m a trans man who just doesn’t want to go on T, except for the part where I feel like a [redacted] who wants to disguise themself as a man. Look, I just live here. 

I have reached a point where she/her pronouns make me uncomfortable, instead of just feeling factually incorrect

I’ve realized that I have as much facial hair as my ex did when he was 3 months on T. I was wildly, desperately jealous of that facial hair at the time. That’s super weird.

I realized I’m thinking of this holiday as a trip to visit my parents, and I can’t wait to get home afterwards. But where is home? All my family still lives in the South, and there is stuff I miss here. All the little things, like the sound of Southern accents all around me and the way all the stores have ceiling fans turned on in the middle of December, and also the stars, and the horizon, and magnolia trees everywhere. But my life is in The City, and I feel at home when I cross the bridge at night and see all the lights against the water. Home is my shitty little apartment with my 12x6 room and sloping floors and my linden tree outside the window.

In general, it’s been a great year for Large Life Things: I graduated with my masters! And I started a great full time job! And I asked out the guy I’d had a crush on for almost four years! And it ended, but not in disaster, and we’re still friends! And I have kicked the ball that will eventually start knocking over dominoes on the way to having top surgery! Exciting cool stuff!

[hadenclairee]

Hot Take:  No two words have done more damage to the trans community than “identify as”

I don’t identify as jack shit.  I am literally transitioning from male to female.  I have never once had a conversation with anyone where I said the words “identify as”.  In fact, quite the opposite - I’m content to let people identify me however they want while I’m in this weird in-between state between male and female.  As I pass more (and become more female), I do get a bit antsier to get to the finish line and be done with maleness, but that brings me back to my point:  that I am literally changing from male to female, I am literally becoming a woman.

I’ve spent some time in the past year reading memoirs and biographies of trans women from before the 2000s.  Something that jumped out at me in one of them was when Christine Jorgensen talked about some of the things that she was called - the most prominent insult she recieved was when she was called a “female impersonator”.  This was after her transition, after her bottom surgery.  She’d fully transitioned from male to female, and was basically being called a Drag Queen - but in the 1950s, the popular parlance for Drag Queens was “female impersonator”, a much more on-the-nose descriptor for people who put on a different gender as a costume.  That wasn’t Christine, though.  And it’s not us either.

For a good while, that seems to be the norm - trans people transitioning and demanding respect not as someone who “identifies as” but as someone who had underwent an arduous journey to change their sex.  The only people using language to paint them as pretenders��were ardent transphobes, religious or TERFy types who denied the possibility of transition categorically.  

But in the early 2010s, a whole generation of LGBT allies came into being, who learned about trans people from the coming-out of Caitlyn Jenner or the bathroom bill debates spurred by North Carolina’s 2016 bill.  And unfortunately, “identify as” became a popular phrase in the mouth of allies defending our right to use public restrooms.  And it has persisted, and with each “Oh, they identify as...” uttered by a well-meaning ally, you can hear the  implied “but they aren’t actually...” or “just go along with it” buried behind their words.  Is there a term for a dog-whistle that’s used by well-meaning people, for what they believe is a good purpose, with misunderstandings laced right into it?  Because “identify as” is one of them.  

And at the same time, the right saw this weak point.  The right knew exactly what “identify as” implied, they heard the 35,000 Hz whistling underlying that phrase and 2016 social media were filled with the kinds of meme that they still fall back to today (the One Joke that all transphobes know), the Attack Helicopter meme.

So now, in 2023, when you’re finally out and have been on HRT for over a year, and are finally getting your letters for surgery and getting your legal documentation changed over, you might still overhear a coworker saying “he identifies as a woman now, so avoid saying ‘sir’ to him and try to use gender-neutral stuff”  

I don’t really have a good conclusion for this hot take.  I don’t know how to undo the damage.  Maybe just educate your allies as best you can, avoid using the wishy-washy “identify as” language yourself, and make it clear that you are literally transitioning from male to female (or female to male).  Overshare about your medical transition, if necessary, because I think the vast majority of cis people have no fucking clue what medical transition actually entails (but also, of course, you don’t owe anyone that kind of info, so that one’s optional... I just think it would help people understand but you don’t have to be the messenger for this one if you don’t want to be!) 

[cassarilladraws]

Love Letter

Lukadrien Fluffuary (using this prompt list) Day 8 - Love Letters Prev | Next Read it on Ao3 Words: 493 When Luka opened his guitar case he hadn’t been expecting to see a folded up piece of paper laying tucked under the neck of the instrument. He pulled it out and examined it. On the front, his name was written in a familiar handwriting. Luka sat down on the bed and unfolded it to reveal a letter. Luka, I know we haven’t been dating very long, but I wanted to leave a little something for you. Since we’ve been together I feel like there’s more joy in my life, more depth, more freedom, more understanding.  Just being around you more has made my life better. I love our conversations. I love playing music with you. I love your heart. I love your mind. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love YOU! And sure, I could have just sent you a message or told you in person, I guess. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve told you I love you. But look? Now it’s documented! I saw your guitar case open and there was a notebook laying around. I guess I just couldn’t resist. Just like I can’t resist you. Too cheesy? For me? Never. You should be used to that by now, m’love. Besides the only thing I have to write with is this pen. I couldn’t erase any of this if I wanted to. And I don’t want to. So, I’ll write it again. I love you. - Adrien

Luka read over the letter several times, his heart fluttered in his chest. It was so Adrien that he had no trouble reading it in his boyfriend’s voice. The writing was sloppier than he’d seen from his boyfriend in the past. Indicative of just how spontaneous the decision to write the note was. The fact that Adrien just wrote it honestly, quickly, and left it for him? That struck a chord. Despite their relationship being fairly new, it had a depth of one much older. He’d seen Adrien with walls up. With all the guy had been through, Luka understood why they existed. But that was with the public. That was with people that made Adrien hesitate or question himself. People who he was careful to not say the wrong things around. Those walls didn’t exist between the two of them. Neither one felt the need to hide things, their secret identities were out of the way before they started dating. Both of them expressed themselves freely. Perhaps to the point where other people would call it oversharing. But the mutual trust and love between them was so natural. It just felt right. For Adrien to trust him so readily with his heart, was something that Luka would never take for granted. He brought the note close to his chest, read it again, and then folded it back. Luka opened a drawer, full of things from his life that he cherished and added the note to it.

[maneskintalk]

Post esc stans getting so defensive over a relationship they basically know only 10% about will never fail to make me laugh. The person who talked about the damoria situation and D&G relationship was entirely on point. Giorgia basically documents her entire life daily and did even more so back in 2018 -2019. Believe me she wanted people to speculate about her "dating" Damiano so everytime she was in Rome she made a huge deal about it. Spoiler alert, it wasn't very often. He was going to Milan more often but again we knew when that was because it's been impossible for Dam to move around Italy without some fan spotting him for 5 years now. She moved in with him in quarantine 2020. Maybe she'd have done it regardless, idk, but that's the fact. Also a fact is that she never visited Maneskin when they lived in London for like 5 months. Again, we can know because she lets her followers know her location daily. The truth is the vast majority of the italian pre esc stans don't like her and it's not because of Damoria. Most of them don't speak about it because they either believe she's really changed and put some of her more questionable behaviors behind her or just don't want to get hate by her fans who are ready to fight whoever is suspicious of the fairytale love story. She was notorious for her jealousy even towards fans that were approaching him back before he made it clear he was taken. Vic used to follow her back in 2018 on ig (her likes on some of her photos are still there) but unfollowed her only to follow her back again last year after new fans started wondering why none of his bandmates follows his gf of 4 years. When they had a brief break up in 2019 she was basically shading Dam on Instagram in a not so subtle way. And a lot more. i hope the happiness and couple goals narrative they've been putting out for the last 1.5 year is indeed true because I love him and I want the best for him. Maybe she really did change and matured. But personally I'll remain suspicious of her forever because I've seen stories with a way less turmoiled past go south. I really hope Damiano has put his trust in the right person and won't end up regretting how much publicity he gave to this relationship (and I'm not talking about posting couple selfies, Italian fans know the oversharing that's been going on from her for months on interviews in Italian press to promote her book, she was even discussing their sex life in one and I guess he consented to this).

I only have one thing to ask. Please tell me more about this brief breakup in 2019 because this is the first time I'm hearing about it

And i think their happiness is true because all you things just mention when their relationship was private and not alot of people know it's good they waited until their relationship was stable seeing looks like it was rollercoaster lol!

And I think their happiness is real, seeing everything you mentioned when their relationship was private. It is good that they waited so long until it was stable. Just imagine all of that if they went public back then loool!

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

Okay! Chapter two thoughts !

Immediately I wanted to establish the type of relationship that Marc and y/n had

“Go back to your books, kid. You’re in over your head.”

Alluding that Marc was aware of y/n and their work at the library

I made it a point to have Marc remove his suit for two reasons

One, marc probably removed the suit so that the cameras didn’t see it and only saw steven

But I wanted to add that he did it so that y/n could clearly see his annoyed expression

Besides, the danger was gone

Time to strip-

Jk lol

Their conversation is very self explanatory, y/n is worried that steven is going to come after them and question the events at the library

They know about Marc’s situation with Steven, and how the marine chooses to hide this stuff from steven

But c’mon now, there’s no way he can hide this

But whatever, if Marc says he can handle it then sure

They don’t really believe him

He’s been slipping up, otherwise Steven wouldn’t have shown up back in the netherlands

But they weren’t going to bring this up, they were hungry and just wanted to go home

I wanted to establish that Marc isn’t fond of y/n

He likes to work solo

So ofc he didn’t like it when he realized that they were keeping tabs on him

Hence why he has the attitude that he has when he leaves, leaving y/n alone in the museum

I wanted to use this as a chance to introduce Djehuty

And to establish his concern for Khonshu as he recognizes his avatar is beginning to fail him

Though he probably knew before Khonshu did, with how he keeps track of his other gods and the jobs they do.

Moving on

I didn’t feel it necessary to discuss the strange things Steven began to notice, or to go into detail.

I wanted to take advantage and set up a good background for y/n

So there went the explanation of the library

I also mentioned that they worked at the London Library

Which, fun fact, is actually a few blocks away from the National Art Gallery where steven works at

I also explained their role as Thoth’s avatar

How they followed Steven and Marc under thoth’s command

I think i did a good job with it

I also wanted to use this as a chance to establish y/n and steven’s relationship

Like i said, steven met y/n because of them being a librarian

So in my head i thought by now steven never wanted to sleep again

And practically plowed through all of his borrowed books

But the reason why he brought them in late was because he was worried that if he saw y/n then he couldn’t help himself and ask them about the strange things that had been happening

Sort of trying to keep the peace in their relationship before he absolutely blunders it

But he does let some things slip whenever he speaks with them

Let’s admit it

Steven’s a bit of a talker

And an oversharer

So he lets out some stuff he’d been keeping in and y/n takes it well, obviously bc they’re in on it too

But y/n is good at what they do and don’t give in any details that they knew more than they let on

After steven left I wanted to emphasize Thoth’s wish for them

To keep steven and marc in check

And of course y/n isn’t happy about it but they can’t do much after what thoth told them

Also, it’s mentioned that thoth had a small bowl of dark chocolates on y/n’s desk set out specifically for him

I did some little research about deities off of tiktok (lol) and people who communicate with him often mentioned that he loved dark chocolate

So yknow lol

I dunno, i thought it was a nice touch

Anyways,

Fast forward and y/n is on the rooftop of steven’s flat

Alluding that they’d been following him for some time

Enough to know a way to even get to his rooftop and hide it out there

I pointed out that they were aware that Marc had a wife

How could they not know, they sort of had to

But this quote

Strange, y/n could have sworn that her name was Marlene on the documents.

This is a reference to his wife in the comics

Her name was marlene in the comics

Personally I quite like Layla more

Anyways, I decided that layla didn’t really know what to do when they saw a young adult on Marc’s roof and sort of just decided to go with it

Might be a bit uncharacteristic of her

But whatever

They agree that they have to track down steven and marc after finding common ground in khonshu

But i don’t want to talk about that

I want to talk about GUS #2

Now obviously we’re all concerned for the fish

Because they don’t really talk about it

All we know is that marc just left for egypt

Didn’t even get a fish sitter or anything

So y/n thought ahead and gave them those vacation fish feeders

They’ve grown fond of the fish, but they knew about the fish because of Steven

h e liked to talk about his fish that had one fin

So whenever they fed the fish I pointed out how they were a bit confused bc they see that gus has two fins

They didn’t know that Marc replaced gus

So they think this is the same fish

Poor y/n

Poor gus

At least the fish is fed

Again, another fast forward

Layla and y/n save the day

There’s not much to explain about the scene

They go in and help steven escape to the big attic

Though I began to give highlights of y/n’s power, super strength, as well as their knowledge of egyptian terminology

Hence why they are recognize when Harrow speaks in Coptic

They all get into the attic and layla begins to harass Steven for Marc

I wanted to use this to show how it looked from an outsider’s point of view

How y/n observed steven begin to break down from the stress

The way he kept looking far off and speaking to another person

It was clear to the scribe

This man couldn’t handle what was to come

So they take that moment to agree with their god, they were needed for a reason

“It’s okay Steven.”

This was their attempt to comfort him

They had no other way to do it

They also held the giant doors back in place- another chance to highlight how they had super strength

And they are able to see the jackal

I know layla couldn’t see it but she’s not an avatar

So in my head, avatars are able to see it since they are already under the magical influence of the gods

Again, not much to explain when it comes to the fight scenes and the jackal

They don’t have a suit

Mostly i didn’t mention this because at the time it was too early in the series to tell if all avatars received a suit

So I opted for none at the time

This section of the chapter is very self explanatory though, they’re fighting a jackal

The end of the chapter

I wanted to split it between two perspectives

One being y/n

And their judgement of Marc and Steven

For being victims of exploitation under khonshu’s hands

How they simply couldn’t believe how they could let themselves into that position

And the other, marc

And his dislike for y/n

How they always seem to follow the man

How he could tell they were judging him

I let them have a moment to bicker between each other before I brought Khonshu into the conversation

At this point, it is known that Thoth spoke to Khonshu about his avatar

And alludes to how thoth persuaded khonshu to allow y/n to help

This scene I used to show the first time that Khonshu brings this proposal to Marc

He doesn’t give Marc much of an option to deny this

Not like he gives him many options to begin with

But Marc still tries to take control as much as he can after Khonshu leaves

Trying to tell y/n that he’ll call for them if ever he needs their help

But y/n knew better

That wasn’t the deal

What else

Oh

Marc is observant and notices them bleeding

But y/n is still a smartass and just insults marc when he mentions it

I wanted to make a parallel between the this chapter and the transparent scribe when I wrote that chapter

This time, he brushed off the fact they they’re injured

However in The Transparent Scribe he actually tends to their wounds

But yeah

“Do you have any travel documents?”

I kinda just used this as a little joke

Bc ofc they have travel documents

They have like 12 driver’s licenses

Anyways

This chapter I wanted to use to set up relationships between steven and y/n, marc and y/n, and y/n and thoth

I wanted to set up a good background for y/n

And establish why it is they had to follow Marc and Steven to Cairo

I quite like this chapter and am proud of the dialogue I wrote for it

Anyways, these are my thoughts :)

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