#i know i’ll love season 3 but if anything should go wrong with it at least i know i’ll always have season 2

[waltricia]

Love Polin obviously, but also loooooove Kanthony. Don’t know if I’ve ever seen/heard anyone mention this striking parallel:

(1x01 // 2x01)

🩷🔥True Twin Flames 🔥🩷

(misguided eldest siblings with dead dad trauma (affectionate))

[disneyprincemuke]

never grow up * fem!driver

a collection of stories of when she first started out in the paddocks to the end of the season

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver

word count: 4.7k

notes: hey i started this last tuesday and jusT finished it because i had the longest week known to mankind LMFAO

(series masterlist)

pre-season testing, 2023

sebastian is almost knocked back at the sudden presence of another in what he assumed was going to be an empty garage.

test session wasn’t for another couple of hours. but there, at the far end of the garage’s exit towards the pit, sat the driver. she sits on the floor, slouched over as her legs are crossed over one another.

“you’re early!”

“i couldn’t sleep,” she answers almost immediately. she turns her head to get a glance at sebastian. she gives him a small smile before turning away again to face the empty pit and grandstands. “i figured i should just sit here and take it all in.”

he smiles, closing the door behind him. he manoeuvres in and stops right next to her. he puts his hands on his hips. “i know, right? i didn’t sleep well days leading up to my rookie year either.”

she turns her head and furrows her eyebrows. “i didn’t think someone like you got nervous.”

“oh, i was terrified,” he laughs, finally bending down and dropping himself on the concrete floor next to her. “but i can only imagine the nerves, especially in your circumstance.”

“yeah, a woman in formula 1.” when he turns to look at her, she’s fiddling around with her thumbs. “first of its kind in decades.”

she laughs dryly before leaning back, resting her hands against the gravel. years ago, following her friends into formula 3 seemed like the biggest feat. then eventually, prema took a chance on her and threw her into formula 2 with the big guys.

even then, racing on the track and sharing the paddocks with bigger names like max verstappen and fernando alonso, formula 1 still seemed so far away. with good reason too, considering that her promotion announcement had been torn apart and overanalysed by the media.

everything, from mid december to early february, everyone had been tearing her apart.

but sebastian has been watching her since she started racing in f3 in place of oscar, after moving up to f2. she’s a joy to watch on the track.

and while he’s put away his years of being a villain to the public eye, he lives to prove everyone wrong. his first year as a race engineer, and then to have a woman as his driver? he would love to see it.

he is confident in the way she holds herself behind the wheel of a race car. there’s no doubt she’s a world champion in the making.

“no,” sebastian wags a finger in the air, “you’re a driver in formula 1. everyone in this garage — in the factory — supports you. we wouldn’t have put everything in developing the car for you if we didn’t think you’d be out here wrecking everybody.”

she sighs with a shrug. “i guess.”

he pats her firmly on the shoulder. “i’ll be here every step of the way, kid.”

bahrain, 2023

sebastian feels a presence looming over him as he scans the car with the andretti's engineers. he turns around with an eyebrow raised, locking eyes with the younger girl staring up at him with wide innocent eyes and a hopeful grin. a small smile stretches on his face as he straightens his back. “hi!”

“hi.” she glances away momentarily and licks her lips. she meets his eyes again with a soft sigh and a slightly wider grin. she hums as she sways, fingertips tapping against one another. “i have an interview.”

he nods hesitantly, raising an eyebrow. “alright.”

“okay.”

sebastian watches her curiously, not moving away from her position in front of him. she hugs she can on pepsi against her stomach as her eyes dart all over the garage. “is everything okay?”

“of course!” she answers almost too fast. she perks up with a smile and curious eyes. “i have a favour to ask.”

“anything, kid. what is it?”

she takes a deep breath and breathes out slowly. she looks away momentarily again and huffs. “well, you see… people keep staring at me when i’m walking around. it’s kinda… scary. they scare me.”

“okay? are they saying anything to you? who is it? give me names.”

“they’re not! but i can feel them whisper as i pass by — that’s never a good sign.”

“i’m sure they’re not gossiping about you, kid.”

“yeah, but, you know? i don’t like the possibility that they might be doing just that. and sometimes they point.”

sebastian smiles, slowly realising what she’s getting at. “do you want me to come with you?”

she hums, scrunching her nose and pressing her lips together. “do i? want you to come with me? what a bother!”

he shrugs, slowly walking away from her. “that’s okay, i was just offering. i’ll just see you–“

“yes! yes, seb! please, please,” she whines, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the exit to the paddocks. “please come with me. i’m scared, i’m nervous, and oscar and logan are missing.”

he laughs, throwing his clipboard onto the table. “okay, let’s go. i’ll show you the best spots, kid.”

saudi arabia, 2023

she stares with wide eyes as she tries to process the question in her head. it’s the first of its kind, to be asked something like that. it echoes in her head like some of record player, unsure how she’s supposed to answer that question.

“do you think you’ll last longer than a couple of races like the last woman in formula 1?”

are they waiting for her to slip up and bring another woman down? a woman that’s basically urged her to even start racing in the first place?

is she supposed to say something that they could twist to make it sound like she’s against other women making it to where she is now? she’s just not sure. who even thinks of that question?

“is that question really appropriate?” sebastian steps forward with a hand on her back. “did you really sit there, watching this brilliant young woman walk towards you, and think that that’s an appropriate question to ask?”

“no, like i mean–“

“she will no longer be doing interviews with you. i don’t give a fuck who you work for,” sebastian mutters, slowly whisking the shocked girl away, shielding her away from the cameras.

she stays planted on the ground, head turning to follow sebastian slowly walking away. “no, it’s okay, really. i was just a little taken aback by the question.”

“no, this interview is over.”

sebastian shoots the reporter one last look before successfully whisking the young driver away from the cameras. “you don’t have to answer every question, you know?”

“it’s rude if i don’t,” she sighs, shaking her head. “i have to answer. what if they start thinking i’m a snob?”

“why is their problem if you’re a snob? if they ask you stupid questions, they can’t keep expecting sane answers,” sebastian scoffs. “write your narrative, don’t let them dictate and twist your answers.”

azerbajian, 2023

“seb,” she cries, nuzzling into his side as the marshals escort her. she has tears in her eyes as she approaches him by the medical building, finally pulling her hair back as sebastian takes her into his arms. “i’m sorry.”

“no,” he hums, rubbing her arm gently. “the important thing is that you’re okay, kid. don’t think about the crash at all.”

she shakes her head against his chest, finally letting out a soft sob. “but it’s so unlike me to crash. i’ve been racing for years!”

“these things happen.” he cranes his neck and pulls away slightly to glance at her face. she’s all red with tears streaming down her face, hiding her face away from curious race attendees. “you know what we should do?”

she mutters a soft ‘what’, rubbing her nose roughly as she glances up at him with sad eyes. he’s only gotten to know her better recently in light of him taking her under his wing, but it’s a very different energy when she’s like this. it’s not something he wants to get used to.

“i’ll walk you to the med bay, and then i’ll go and get you some ice cream. does that sound good?”

she shakes her head and sighs, letting sebastian wrap a protective arm around her as they walk. “i don’t want ice cream.”

sebastian gasps softly, flashing her a bewildered stare. “what? you don’t what?”

she sniffles. “i don’t feel like eating ice cream.”

“oh, come on,” he giggles, squeezing her cheek very lightly. “i’ll get you extra marshmallows and even add sprinkles in.”

she looks at him from the corners of her eyes, a small smile playing on her lips at his suggestion. “really? and extra chocolate syrup? just this once?”

sebastian nods with a smile. he moves over to her other side when he sees a camera approaching them, waving a hand in the air to shoo them away. “i’ll even let you eat a whole pint.”

australia, 2023

sebastian trails behind her, juggling between his phone and her helmet in her hands. he watches with a proud smile as she is stopped by a reporter.

“what does it feel like to be the first woman to score in formula 1 after years of the drought?”

she giggles giddily, stopping to answer a question. “hi! um, yes, it feels amazing to be the one to do it. it’s not a lot of points, but it really means a lot to me.”

“of course. do you think you can maintain this performance throughout your rookie season? what are some challenges you think you may face in the year to come?”

her eyes widen at the several questions for her. it feels just like they haven’t had any serious questions regarding the race for her since she started the year. sometimes they do, but it’s never really anything good that would reflect on her.

she looks over her shoulder, meeting sebastian’s eyes, as she smiles at him widely, as if to ask him ‘do you hear these legitimate questions they’re asking me?’. sebastian only gives her a warm smile in return with a thumbs-up.

she turns away and tries to come up with a proper answer to the question. “i think with sebastian’s help, it’s definitely made the transition a lot easier. hopefully i can stay consistent in the races to come. and my biggest challenge? definitely trying to catch up to max.”

they share a laugh. she turns around momentarily, looking at sebastian for approval of what she’s just rambled on about. sebastian gives her another smile and a nod, making a gesture to turn her back around.

“well, i think that’s everyone’s biggest challenge thus far into the season. thank you for your time today and good luck.”

miami, 2023

she holds the phone against her ear, temple laying against the window to stare at the paddocks. “where are you?”

“what do you mean?” sebastian’s voice comes through her phone, making her raise an eyebrow. “i don’t start as early as you today.”

“what? i’m supposed to walk into the paddocks by myself?” she shrieks, lifting her head. she looks around outside the car, watching the several people walking in and out.

“yes? aren’t you with oscar and logan?”

she tears her eyes away and turns to the other two men inside with her. “i don’t trust either of these idiots to not embarrass me walking in!”

logan throws his arms in the air, turning to her from the driver’s seat. his arm pokes between the two front seats, reaching to the back to try and hit her. she scowls and smacks his hand away, scowering away into the far corner from logan.

“you will be okay, kid. would you rather you walk in by yourself?”

she lets a moment pass. “okay. you got me there.” she sighs and rolls her eyes. “fine.”

monaco, 2023

“i’ve got an interview!”

he sees a shadow pass through the bottom of the car, prompting sebastian to jump up. the girl is already halfway towards the large exit that leads to the pitstop with a lollipop in hand. “coming!”

“it’s okay!” she holds her hands up in front of sebastian, grinning as he comes to a stop about three steps from the car.

sebastian tilts his head and frowns slightly. “what?”

“yeah, it’s a rookie interview. i got my bodyguards with me again today!”

he raises his eyebrows with an impressed grin. “oh! you’ll be okay without me?”

“yeah!”

as if on cue, two men — one in orange and on in blue — pulls up to the garage. “let’s go, loser!”

“okay,” sebastian laughs, greeting the two with a smile. he pats his driver on the back. “be back in one piece. i’ll see you later.”

“absolutely,” she grins. she runs around the car, throwing her arms around him and squeezing him. “you got my pepsi in the freezer?”

“i got 2 of them in the freezer just for you kid,” sebastian whispers, squeezing her back. he presses a kiss to the top of her head and waves as she starts walking away. “be safe!”

canada, 2023

“you don’t possibly need me just to get a cup of coffee downstairs, do you?” sebastian sighs. despite his complaint, he still follows the young driver down the stairs of the andretti racing home to get a drink.

and it’s been one their routines every race weekend: getting coffee together after their daily team meeting in his office. it’s endearing, really, how much she relies on him every weekend when she feels that the paddocks have their eyes glued to her too much.

“do you not like spending time with me anymore, seb?” she jokes, looking over her shoulder to tease him. “you can just say so.”

he laughs in bouts of sarcastic ‘haha’s and scowls at her slightly. “that’s not what i mean. half the season has come and gone — shouldn’t you be more comfortable roaming by yourself?”

“i guess,” she shrugs. “i just feel like being with you today!”

he pouts his bottom lip out and presses a hand against his chest. “oh, thank you. how thoughtful.”

sebastian stops in the kitchen of the office, grabbing the two custom andretti mugs with their names on the handle. his cup’s got her name and autograph, and hers with his. he extends his hand to her. “you know how i like my coffee, kid.”

“of course! i’m like your personal barista.”

austria, 2023

sebastian pushes the door open with a soft knock. “kid, are you better?”

“no! go away!” she shrieks, chucking a small pillow towards the door. “where are my meds? is logan seriously not back with them yet?”

he puts his hands in the air to surrender. “he’s trying to get here as quick as possible. are the cramps still bad?”

suddenly he feels like he wants to crawl into a random hole and stay there — the glare she is giving him simply made him wish that he never bothered to open his mouth.

“i don’t know. you tell me at the state you see me in,” she growls, eyebrows furrowed. “like–“

she whines again, clutching herself as she curls herself into a smaller ball on her beanbag. she closes her eyes and nuzzles her face into the stuffed koala with a soft cry.

“kid,” sebastian sighs, scratching his head. it sucks seeing anybody like that. “is there anything i can do to help? logan should be here any minute.”

“i want pepsi! freezing pepsi! like, with small bits of frozen pepsi in it — that’s how cold i want it.”

he hums. “i thought you shouldn’t be drinking cold drinks on your period?”

“you asked me how to help! i want pepsi! my frozen can of pepsi!”

he scrambles to run out of the room. “okay! i’ll get it from the fridge!”

silverstone, 2023

she shakes her arms and adjusts the neckline of her fireproofs. “i can do it.”

“yeah!” sebastian cheers, pumping his fist into the air. “i believe in you!”

“exactly. i can do it!”

but despite her words of encouragement for herself, her feet stay planted on the ground. her fists are balled by her side as her body stiffens up by the door with a scowl.

sebastian tilts his head, moving his head around hers to take a look at her face. he glances at the door. “do you have any intention to actually do it?”

“some time in the next hour, maybe,” she sighs. she turns around to sebastian and shakes her head. “i can’t do it, mate. i want to go home.”

“what?” sebastian throws his head back. he turns her back around and pushes her forward. “i promise you won’t die.”

“how do you know that?”

“you’re just walking the paddocks to the building to film a shoot with oscar and logan. you’ll survive the 2 minute walk, i swear.”

she huffs and pushes the glass doors open, glancing back at sebastian. “i’ll make a run for it so nobody has the time to realise it’s me.”

he shrugs with an impressed smile. if he were in her shoes, he never would have thought of that. “whatever works, kid.”

italy, 2023

“seb.” the girl drags her feet along the floors of the garage, hunched over slightly with a hand clutching her stomach. “how long til the first round of practice?”

“about 20 minutes,” sebastian says, looking up from his clipboard. by the sound of her voice, he already knows what’s going on. his suspicions are confirmed when he sees her at her state. “fuck’s sake.”

“i’m sorry. i promise i won’t take too long in the toilet.”

“we told you to stop eating ice cream before you have to get on the track,” sebastian sighs, throwing his head back. he puts the clipboard down, annoyed, yet he still reaches forward to wrap a protective arm around her shoulders and guides her towards the door leading to the paddocks. “your track anxiety doesn’t go well with ice cream, remember?”

“the idea was good in theory — it was pretty warm earlier.”

sebastian sighs and shakes his head. “you know where to find the meds for your stomach, right?”

she frowns, looking up at him. the pale lips and the sweaty forward simply told him everything he needed to know. he laughs with a small nod. “okay, i’ll deliver them to you with a glass of really cold water, okay?”

she nods with a small smile. “okay. thank you, seb.”

singapore, 2023

“what do i do with this?”

sebastian slowly turns to the girl with a scowl on his face. “what do you mean?”

“what do i do with this?” she repeats, putting her arms in the air in question. she turns to look sebastian in the eyes with eyebrows furrowed. “where do i put it? is it even mine?”

“they will make a replica for you to bring home.”

“but i live in an apartment with two hyperactive kids — they’ll only break it.”

“your ki– you mean kidnapper and stubby? just put it up away from them!”

“i,” she trails off, shaking her head. she lets her stare linger on the trophy sitting on the table in her driver’s room with worry. “i kinda don’t want it unless it’s a trophy for a race win.”

“complacent!” sebastian laughs. “are you that confident about being a race winner?”

“you don’t think i could win a race?”

“wait.”

“that’s kinda mean, seb. i don’t know.”

“you know that’s not what i mean.”

she shrugs and turns back to the trophy. “we just need to play bumper cars with max on the track, maybe.”

“maybe? definitely.”

she shrugs and puts her hands on her hips. “i reckon we just need more street circuits to throw max off. then maybe we get liam to be my teammate next year!”

qatar, 2023

sebastian looks up at the sound of the click of his door. he raises an eyebrow, frowning at the girl trying to silently escaping his office. “where are you going, kid?”

she stops with a hand on the door, head poking out as she smiles. “i’m going to get us coffee downstairs.”

he frowns and furrows his eyebrows. “without me?”

she squeaks slightly as she raises her eyebrows in shock. “i was gonna bring it back up here to you so we can chat while we discuss race strategies.”

“oh.”

“is something wrong? do you prefer drinking something else?”

sebastian shakes his head with a small smile. “no reason. you used to ask me to get coffee with you.” he puts a hand on his chest. “have you grown to hate me, kid?”

“aw, seb! it’s not like that!” she coos, running back into the room. she runs over to his side, resting herself on the armrest and throws her arms around sebastian. “i just thought i’d like to finally go get it myself, you know? you won’t be around forever.”

sebastian has to admit — that one kind of hurt him a little. he’d come out of retirement to step into an unlikely position in the sport so he could be part of her development as a driver. and also because he was starting to regret his decision slightly, but that’s besides the point.

and also the fact that he’s grown quite fond of her. while he’s got three children of his own back home, it’s just different with her.

“wow, kid. counting down the days to my eventual retirement that i won’t take back?”

“no, you misunderstand me, seb,” she giggles, resting her cheek on top of his head. “i just wanted to be a big girl; like you always tell me to be in the paddocks every weekend!”

brazil, 2023

“you’ll be okay without me?” sebastian hums, raising an eyebrow as he stands in her hotel room. he sinks into her pillows on the bed as he watches the young girl darting around the room to gather her things. “i can come if you want.”

“logan and oscar will be with me,” she grins, scrunching her nose with a soft giggle. “unless you would like to come with us, seb?”

he scoffs, folding his arms over his chest. “no way. i don’t understand valorant like you kids — i would have more questions than anything else. you don’t want that, kid.”

she laughs, shoving her items into her small purse. “it’s blythe’s finals! and i’m just as clueless about valorant as you are. the 3 of us know nothing.”

“i’m just upset you hadn’t invited me in the first place.”

“it was last minute! just come with us, seb!”

“i don’t have a ticket.”

“one of the players’ my sister. we’ll find a way to get you in without a ticket.”

sebastian raises his eyebrow. “wow, corruption has gotten to you quick.”

“no, that’s literally how we’re able to attend. blythe pulled strings.”

he rolls his eyes, a small smile growing on his lips as he pushes himself off the bed. he actually does want to come along. finding out he wasn’t even part of the original plan hurt, yes, but he doesn’t want to push himself to be a part of plans that he’s not invited to.

“okay, if you insist.”

las vegas, 2023

she raises an eyebrow, scoffing. “you’re fucking kidding, right?”

max raises his eyebrows, turning to the girl with an impressed grin. while she’s not one to shy from cussing away from cameras, doing it with a room full of cameras and reporters is simply a different thing. he glances at sebastian who has his chest puffed out and eyebrows furrowed since the question was being asked.

the question was easy: how do you do your hair for race weekends, and how does it always look good after the race?

kimi is right, his lecture that weekend in austin has finally taken its mark in her brain. why are all the questions directed at her during press conferences always redirected back to her womanhood?

if she wanted to be asked about her makeup routine and collection, she’d have started an instagram live instead of wasting her time on this stupid couch.

“it’s unfair, don’t you think? you’ve asked me one question about racing, now suddenly it’s about my hair?”

“in a sense that–“

“i’m just curious. i’ve raced the races of what i can give this year to prove that i should be respected as a driver. why are you asking me about my hair?” she raises an eyebrow. “you’re a 50-year-old man. what have you got to learn from my haircare routine?”

max snorts and sebastian bursts into laughter. she clenches her jaw, genuinely getting slightly agitated. she meets sebastian’s eyes who only gives her a thumbs up with the proudest smile.

it’s nice to finally see her standing up for herself.

abu dhabi, 2023

sebastian holds the phone up to his ear, looking into the designated car that she’d taken to the paddocks that night.

“yeah?” a soft voice comes through, getting overshadowed by the loud music in the background. “what’s up, seb?”

“where are you? i’m at your car.”

he hears her hum in confusion. “what do you mean? i’m already in the paddocks, seb.”

he scratches his head, raising his eyebrow as he looks towards the busy entrance of the paddocks. “what do you mean? i thought you’d wait for me outside? aren’t logan and oscar coming in later than we are?”

“yes. but i arrived before you so i thought i’d just wait for you here,” she explains. “did i forget something?”

“no, it’s just,” he sighs and starts making his way to the row of gantries, “you’d usually wait for me if you were by yourself. i thought we were doing the same — i completely forgot that you’re a big girl now.”

he hears her laugh, louder and wholeheartedly. “seb, that’s so sweet! i can’t believe you looked for me even though i haven’t said anything!”

he rolls his eyes. “oh, shut up.”

— bonus

“seb, look what i got you over the break!” she shrieks, jogging into his room with a paper bag in her hands. “i got us matching somethings!”

he raises an eyebrow, looking up from his phone. “what? you got me something?”

“yeah! i wouldn’t have gotten my first points without you, so i wanted to get us something to celebrate our first points as a duo,” she giggles, sitting on the seat on the other side of the table.

she puts the paper bag down and starts pulling a set of mug out of it. she hands him a mug and holds up her own excitedly.

he looks at the mug. it’s got her name on the handle and her signature messily printed over their names mushed together into one in big and blocky purple letters.

“look at the bottom.”

‘long live — all the magic we made’ with the date of the australia race is carved into the bottom of the mug.

he smiles, looking up. “you really didn’t have to, kid. but thank you. this is so thoughtful.”

she claps silently, jumping on the spot with a giggle. “it’s just a small token to remember one of the times we made history together.”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @sadg3 @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @inejismywife @2bormaybenot @love4lando

[ferrstappen]

loving him is red l Charles Leclerc Imagine

a/n: it’s been YEARS since I've written something but I have too many ideas and time so I'll give it a try again <3 any feedback is appreciated and than you for reading <3

also, of course the only song I could think of is Red by Taylor Swift (taylor’s version ofc)... I mean... how could I not?

genre: fluff.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x female singer!reader.

summary: Charles’ girlfriend receives her first Grammy for Song of the Year, sadly enough the inspiration behind the song isn’t able to make it to the ceremony.

“This feels so wrong, I should be there to support you... You’re always here for races and shit” Charles said while watching her get ready on a fancy hotel room, meanwhile he was stuck in Maranello. 

“Please don’t, it’s pre-season and all that, you know they needed you there today. Plus, I'll be home by tomorrow so we can celebrate... or you can console me since I'm probably losing anyway.” (Y/N) quietly said the last part while sipping some expensive sparkling wine her assistant brought to the room. 

“You are not losing! Babe, how many times do I need to tell you that?” Charles sounded truly exasperated with his girlfriend, like he truly had told her many many times. 

Truth be told, she never thought she would be considerate at all. Yes, her label had submitted her second album and the first single of the record, but they were almost obligated to do so, it was an unspoken rule in the music industry that you just had to do the entire “for your Grammy consideration” portfolio if you wanted to be taken seriously, but (Y/N) never really thought the song she first released from her album would be such a hit. 

Honestly, they just were words her heart could think of whenever she saw Charles, because he truly was red... In the way he wore the color so proudly, from the way his car was always a shiny red even when he was driving it in the driest of the deserts, to the way he loved her so passionately, fearlessly and undoubtedly... He was red. 

It never made sense to her that millions around the world would mix her lyrics on Ferrari t-shirts or that fans would wait for Charles on the stands with bright red lyrics of the song. 

He loved it, by the way. He would flush a bright red whenever someone on the grid teased him about it, pretended he was shy about everyone knowing those words were for him, but his heart would sing a little every single time he listened or read the verses meant for him, just as he would make sure the camera would capture your cute face over FaceTime when he got a podium and you couldn’t be here, or how he made sure to tell you his best joke when you’d arrive to the paddock holding hands, loving the way the photographers captured your laugh and the glint in his eyes just by being the reason of your smile. 

He had the superior relationship and he just knew it, and he made sure the rest of the word knew it as well. 

“So, are you finally going to show me the dress?” Charles said while putting his headphones on to ignore the world outside of his driver’s room.

She cheekily smiled. “No, not really” She told him, earning a dissatisfied groan from him.

“Then when do you want me to see it? On TV like the rest of the world?” He argued, his accent getting thicker.

“Actually yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking.” (Y/N) was going to keep talking, but her assistant let her know the dress had just arrived and they needed her full attention. 

“No, I heard that! You can mute me and I’ll just watch over here!” Charles pleaded, earning a heartily laugh from her girlfriend. 

“I’m so sorry, bebé. I have to go, but you can watch me on TV though!”

Charles sighed, unable to hide his grin. “You know I'll be glued, I don’t care about the time or anything,” even through his noise-cancelling headphones he could hear a big commotion outside his room, meaning someone would come knocking on his door soon. He took a deep breath before focusing his eyes on his muse again. “I love you so much, chérie. I’m so proud of you and whatever happens tonight doesn’t change that. Please whatever you need I'll have my phone at all times, I’m capable of stoping the car in the middle of nowhere and you know it,” they both laughed. “I’m right there with you, I love you.”

She repeated the same words over and over again, feeling a bit numb as several people helped her fitting the red Maison Valentino dress to perfection. It was a whirlwind from there, the last glance she took of herself in the mirror was to make sure the small prancing horse shaped stud earrings, a nod to her man watching on tv.

As if writing a Grammy nominated song and almost an entire album about him wasn’t enough...

Her hands couldn’t help the tingling on the palm of her hands, her body knowing she was missing her other half; he always needed to fix his tie or style a stubborn strand of hair, and it always calmed her nerves to take care of him. 

Back in Italy, Charles was anxiously watching the TV in front of him, some friends, including Carlos, were sitting around the living room, mindlessly chatting about some of the artists performing on the Grammys, what were the plans for the night, the next Real Madrid game...

But Charles eyes were trained on his girl smiling in front of the TV, feeling giddy as she gracefully walked down the carpet on her silky red dress, eyes shining and smile intoxicating. 

The night flew by and Charles swore he could feel your hand squeezing his as they announced the category he had been waiting for. Harry Styles was on the stage with the envelope.

Everything went by so quickly, Charles didn’t notice his friends had shut up and were with their eyes trained on the TV. They all collectively gasped when the brit announced Red by (Y/N) as the song of the year. 

Then it was just noise; from the TV, from people cheering on the theatre as she hid her face on the palm on her hands, to the living room where Charles had rose to his feet hugging everyone around him.

To anyone on the outside it would’ve seemed like their country had won the World Cup. 

“God, I don’t know how to begin,” She shakily said while holding the gramophone. “I know I’m supposed to say that this is for my fans and my label and everyone who believed in me, and it is but...” She smiled to herself. “This is for you, the inspiration behind every word, every verse, every note. My incredible boyfriend who makes my heart sing and my life happy. They haven’t invented the words to tell you how much I love you,” She could feel tears building on the corner of her eyes, until she saw a stage producer informing she only had ten seconds left to wrap up her speech. “God, just ten seconds? Thank you so much to everyone, Char I love you with my entire heart, and thank you to everyone for this I’ll always have this moment in my heart, even after I’m gone I’m sure this is gonna be engraved. Thank you!”

The camera captured her glistening eyes as she smiled through the lens. Charles had unshed tears as his heart was beating loudly. Only seconds passed until his phone was vibrating with an incoming FaceTime call. 

“So... Did you like the red dress?” She joked and he laughed through the unshed proud tears. He never knew he could feel so much pride and love for another person. 

He chuckled. “I loved it, and I love you so much words cannot explain. Fuck, how come I wasn’t there?”

Their love was red.

[jordyn14]

would you write a story where Y/n and Joe are arguing because Joe is making some bad friends and she doesn't want to be around because she's pregnant or something... But in the end everything ends well

Pairing: Joe burrow x fem first person

Words: 4113

Notes: I kind of changed this around slightly to make this a little more emotional and heartfelt, but I tried to stay on track with the request. I hope you enjoy! <3

Taglist: @wickedfun9

I got into my car after working out for the millionth time this week. Normally I would go once, maybe twice a week depending on how my pregnant body felt, but lately, I’ve been going every single day. Why have I been going every single day? To get out of my house. Ever since Joe’s season ending wrist injury, he’s been hanging out with the wrong people. I get why he’s needed an outlet and a group of friends that can take his mind off of it. I do. I get that the injury took a toll on him physically and especially mentally, but right now, I can’t stand to be anywhere his friends are, and they’ve been coming over the house so often, even just to pick Joe up and take him somewhere.

Most of the time they come home drunk and high, and I don’t need nor want that, especially since Joe and I are expecting a baby in a few months. When I told Joe that I was glad that his new friends were helping him take his mind off of it all, I meant it because I thought it would be good for him in the long run, but I was very, very wrong. I found that out when they first got in trouble with the law for the first time. Joe swore it would be the last time, but then it happened again. The last thing I wanted was for Joe to end up in jail or suspended for a few games.

While I headed home, I was hopeful that his friends wouldn’t be over the house and that I would get to spend some quality time with Joe, because right now, that’s all I wanted. This first pregnancy is currently kicking my butt and all I want to do is be with my husband since he’s been in Arizona with his friends this past weekend, which means I haven’t seen him in a few days.

As I merged onto the freeway, I got a call from Joe. With a smile, I grabbed my phone so the music could still play and excitedly answered it. “Hey Joey, I should be home soon. Did you just get home?” I asked him with a big smile on my face. “Hey baby. I can’t wait to see you, it feels like it’s been forever.” Joe said. Hmm, maybe because it has been forever. For the last two weekends he’s been in another state. “We just got home and immediately jumped into the pool. Granted, it’s a lot colder here than in Arizona so we’re kinda cold.” Joe chuckled. We? You’ve got to be kidding me. I pulled the phone away from my ear and started laughing a little bit, unable to hide how annoyed I was. “They’re all at the house? Haven’t you spend enough time with them?” I asked Joe.

Even though my voice was filled with annoyance, he still was oblivious to just how much I hated them. “Probably, but they wanted to swim some more, so I invited them over.” Joe said. In the background, I could hear beer cans getting crushed and shook my head. “Are you drinking beer already? It’s 11am.” I asked Joe. In the background, I not only could hear beer cans being crush, but I also could hear a lot of commotion and water splashing.

“I’m not, but the guys are. They’re fucking hilarious.” Joe said and laughed at something one of them did on the other end of the phone. I rolled my eyes and said, “I’m about to get off of the freeway, I’ll be home in like 5 minutes.” I said and hung up before he could say anything else. More than anything, I wanted to come home to my husband without them being there. I wanted Joe to wrap me in his arms like he does after a long game or a long weekend away from me and hear him repeat the words ‘I love you,’ over and over again as he kisses me. I just wanted some alone time, and on top of that, I wanted to know my husband was being safe.

I pulled into our driveway and pulled into the only spot that was left since there were 3 other cars that weren’t supposed to be here. As soon as I opened the door, I could hear them in the backyard yelling and having what they thought was a great time. This may seem like fun for some people, hell, it would’ve been fun to me…about 4 years ago. But with where we are at in our lives, and with the image that Joe has to uphold at all times, he can’t be doing this. He can’t be going out with people that are constantly doing things that can trash his name, because when he comes to terms with just how lousy he’s been acting, it may be too late.

When I walked inside, I headed for the back door and tried to put on my best fake smile. The last thing I wanted was to get into a fight right here and now about it, but that day would definitely come. It had to come. I just didn’t know when. Putting my hand on the door handle, I hesitated for a few seconds before slowly opening it up. Right when Joe heard the door open from in the deep end of the pool, he immediately jumped out and began to run over to me. “Finally! I missed you both!” Joe yelled as he ran, looking to me and to my stomach where his little boy was.

When he reached me, he picked me up and spun me around a little bit. I couldn’t contain the giggles as I clung onto his wet and muscular body. “We missed you too, Joey.” I said with a laugh as he set me down on the ground. Once on the ground, I couldn’t help but stare at him, in awe of how he looked. Not only was he only in swim trunks which revealed the most perfect amount of leg, ab, back, and arm muscles, but his hair looked amazing. Like most off seasons, he was growing out his hair, so his wet curls were hanging on his forehead and the hair in the back was wild from getting wet. Instinctively, I reached up and ran my fingers through his curls and then let my hand run down his arm.

All joe did was look me up and down before he cupped the side of my face with one hand and the other was wrapped around my waist, pulling me in closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as our lips connected and arched my back with the faintest moan as he kissed me hard. From the noise I made, Joe smiled into the kiss before we were interrupted by all three of the guys screaming, “get a room!” The both of us pulled away from each other and laughed at the guys reaction. Maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. “Oh shut up.” I laughed while rolling my eyes at them.

Two out of the three of them got out of the pool and started to dry off slightly before plopping themselves down into the chairs my best friend and I tan in during the summer. “How was your workout? Let’s see those muscles.” Joe joked and gave my arm a little squeeze. “Well, it was going good until the very end when our little crazy pants in here decided it would be a good idea to keep jabbing me in the rib cage.” I said and looked down at my stomach. Joe chuckled and put both of his hands on my stomach so he could try and feel our little boy kick. I studied Joes face, waiting for him to feel the kicks, and after a few seconds, his face lit up and he looked at me with the most amazing smile. “Oh wow, he’s kicking. Our little man is so strong,” Joe said, looking at me and then my stomach in awe, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.”

I smiled up at Joe and let him feel his son kick in my stomach for a little while longer. Ever since Joe felt him kick for the first time, he’s been obsessed with feeling him kick. Before he leaves to go anywhere, or even go to sleep, he wants to feel his little boy kick first and talk to him so he knows what his voice sounds like. It’s adorable watching Joe transform into a dad, and I can’t wait until the day comes when he can hold his baby boy for the first time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed one of Joe’s friends lighting a joint when I specifically told all of them not to a million times. Edibles was one thing, but I really did not want the yard and our clothes smelling like weed. It’s not like I mind them getting high, especially Joe since I know it helps him calm down, but they go completely overboard with it. Almost every time I see them they are faded and despite me telling them not do, the house still smells like weed when I come home sometimes. It’s just gotten out of hand.

Although I was annoyed and wanted nothing more than to never see them again, I tried to shake it off and act like everything was fine for Joe’s sake. As long as they didn’t take it inside. “Do you want to sit down? Your back probably hurts.” Joe said. “That sounds amazing. Your son is being a pain today.” I sighed out and was immediately escorted to another chair by Joe who kept his hand on my lower back the whole time. When I sat down, Joe made sure I didn’t need anything else and then sat down in the chair next to me. “So, did Joe tell you what happened this weekend?” One of Joes friends asked who was laying out on one of the sun tanning chairs while smoking a joint. With a skeptical look, I shook my head and then looked at Joe. I swear to god if he did anything illegal. “No, what did you do?” I asked Joe who looked like he wanted to keep it a secret. “Joey B decided to get drunk and pass out right in front of a police officer.” The other friend said who grabbed the other one’s joint and started to smoke it. I looked over at Joe with a glare on my face and tried my best not to get angry until they left. “How fun. At least you didn’t get thrown in jail.” I said with a fake laugh and then continued to glare at his friends.

While two of them were getting high, the other one was floating on a raft in the pool with some sunglasses on, probably already drunk, knowing them. “You seem uptight, take a hit. It’ll be good for you.” The friend said that was currently holding the joint said. I rolled my eyes with a small smile, thinking he was joking, but he obviously wasn’t since his hand stayed outstretched towards me. While I looked at him, thinking it was a joke, he shrugged a little bit. With a scoff, I shook my head and said, “excuse me? You know I’m pregnant, right?” From next to me, Joe put his hand by his mouth and was about to intervene when I glared at him. No way he was letting this one go. I was so sick and tired of them always being around Joe and me, and making Joe do stupid and illegal things.

“What? My baby mama did it when she was pregnant. Granted, that little bitch of a son is practically a 13 year old drug dealer at his school.” He laughed. With another scoff, I stood up and started to quickly walk over to him. All he did was stare up at me with a confused look on his face as I stormed over to him. As soon as I got to him, I snatched the joint right out of his hand and tossed it on the concrete and smashed it into the ground with my shoe. “Get off of my fucking property. All of you.” I said and looked between the both of them who just stared up at me in shock, then over to Joe. “Don’t look at him, look at me, I’m the one talking. And if you didn’t hear me the first time, I said get off of my property!” I raised my voice at them.

This time, they got the hint and stood up from the chairs. “Your wife is fucking crazy dude. She ain’t any fun.” One of them said as they made their way to the gate which led to the front yard. “Don’t talk about her that way.” Joe stood up for me while he stood up from his chair, though I could tell he was angry with me that I kicked them out. After they left for the front yard, I walked over to the in ground pool where the last one was swimming. “It’s time to go!” I yelled at him. Just as I said this, Joe came over and put his hand on my arm to try and stop me, but I yanked my hand away from him. “What are you doing?” Joe asked me. I looked up at him with a glare on my face and he looked down at me like I was the one in the wrong. I looked him up and down with a scoff and then angrily looked back over to his friend that was fast asleep on the raft.

Not wanting to wait for him to wake up, I leaned down and picked up an empty beer can that one of them smashed and threw it at the guy and hit him in the face with it. Right when it hit him, he leaned forwards with a small scream, not expecting to be hit by anything, and fell off of the raft into the cold water. “What the fuck?” He asked and yanked his sunglasses off of his face which how had a broken lens. “It’s time to go.” I said and started to gather up all of the beer cans from the ground that they left. “I’m drunk, what am I supposed to do?” He asked as he started to walk up the stairs. “Do you have a phone?” I asked him while stopping to look at him for a second. After he nodded, I said, “great, then call an Uber or walk home for all I care. Do anything but stay here.” While he got out of the pool, he scoffed at me, so I flipped him off before I bent down and started to pick up some of the beer cans they left on the ground.

While I picked up the beer cans and tried to make the yard look like it did before they came over, Joe just stood there with his hands on his hips, looking at me with a confused and angry look on his face. After I picked up the last can and threw it in the outside trash bin, I turned to look at him. “What was that? Why did you do that?” Joe asked me. I widened my eyes at him and scoffed while shaking my head. “You aren’t serious, right? Tell me you’re joking.” I said. Joe just shrugged, waiting for me to tell him why. “He offered you a joint, all you had to say was no, not freak out like you did and kick them all out.” Joe said, trying his best to give them the benefit of the doubt. That’s all he’s been doing these past few months. Always giving them excuse after excuse so he doesn’t look like a complete dick for hanging around them.

I guess we’re doing this now. “This wasn’t just from him offering me weed, this is from everything. Every single thing that they’ve done that I’ve ignored for your sake.” I said. “Oh so we’re doing this? We’re making this a thing? No way.” Joe said with a scoff and started to storm towards the door. As he passed me, he looked me up and down with a pissed look on his face. “We are so doing this, Joe, because it’s been a thing, for months now. You’re just too blind to see it apparently.” I said and followed after him as he walked inside, trying to get away from me since he didn’t want that confrontation.

Even though I followed Joe inside and wanted to have this conversation with him, he was still in denial, and pretended like I wasn’t even there. I watched as he went into the kitchen and started to rummage around the cupboards. “Excuse me? Now you’re ignoring me?” I asked him and walked over to him. When I said this, he closed the cupboard he was looking inside of and turned around to face me. “I don’t know what you are getting at right now? This hasn’t been a thing!” Joe said, raising his voice slightly. “Yes it has Joe. It’s been a thing since you started hanging around them after your wrist injury!” I said, raising my voice right back at him.

All joe did was scoff and walk away from me. “Come back here right now. We are having this conversation, whether you like it or not.” I said and turned around. Joe stopped right in his tracks and then slowly turned around to face me. I took a step closer to him while saying, “ever since your wrist injury, you have been hanging around them, and it isn’t good. They aren’t good people and it kills me that you are so blind to that.” I said. As soon as I said this, it looked like something clicked in him, like he was finally waking up to something, but he still shook his head, somewhat in denial, or at least that’s what it looked like. “They aren’t bad people just because they don’t like or don’t do the same things you do!” Joe raised his voice at me. “Two out of three of them have been to jail, the other has had multiple DUI’s and something that should’ve been a felony. But yeah, they totally aren’t bad people.” I said with a hint of sarcasm in my voice at the last part.

Joe started to bite on the inside of his cheek as he listened to what I had to say. Then, he looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. “If you don’t want to be around them, I won’t have them over the house anymore.” Was all he said as he continued to look at the ground. “I don’t want to be around them, but I also don’t want them around you.” I said. Joe looked up at me and said quietly, “they help.” My heart ached for him. I know how hard it was for him to have his second season ending injury in just two years. I did. I get that he was exhausting. But this has to stop before it’s too late. “They aren’t good people, Joe. I don’t want to see you turn into them.” I said.

“I would never turn into them and you know that. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean I have to stop hanging out with them.” Joe said, fighting back. “Really? Because before you started hanging out with them, you never got in trouble for anything. But right after you met them, boom, you started to have run ins with the police.” I said. “They were over stupid things! That doesn’t count!” Joe yelled slightly. “Those things aren’t stupid Joe! You would’ve never, ever done those things a year ago.” I told him. “What? So now you wish I would change and go back to the way I was? Am I not good enough now?” Joe asked me. I took another step towards him and let out a sigh. I had no clue what to do.

“You will always be good enough, Joe, but you’re going down a dark path, and I’m scared that when you do finally wake up and realize the kind of people you’ve been hanging around, it may already be too late.” I said. Joe looked at the ground as he furrowed his brows. “I know that they aren’t the best people, but they really did help.” Joe said. My heart skipped a beat in my chest and I sucked in a breath. This was the first time in months that he’s actually accepted that they were bad people and didn’t make excuses for them. Now all I needed to do was push a little bit more. “I get that your injury was hard on you physically and mentally. I get that maybe I wasn’t enough for you and only they could help, but they aren’t good people Joe, and I’m honestly scared to raise a child around them…and you if you keep going down this path, although it’s not likely, you may end up in jail or suspended from the league.” I said, telling Joe the truth.

Joe looked up at me and shook his head repeatedly. “You were always enough. You helped me when nobody else could. I needed you, and will always need you.” Joe said. “Then why did you lean on them?” I asked, feeling my eyes prick with tears. Joe sighed, his shoulders hanging low. He looked so defeated. All I wanted to do was wrap him in my arms and tell him everything was going to be alright. “Would you believe me if I said I don’t know? Because I don’t know. I don’t know why I started using them as an outlet, I just did, and it felt good because I didn’t have to think about the possibility of never being able to throw a football again. All I know right now is that I love you and our baby with all of my heart and I am so incredibly sorry for everything.” Joe said, looking at me with those bright and tear filled blue eyes. Sucking in my lips slightly, I nodded and closed to distance between us, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You don’t have to be sorry, Joey, I know how hard this has been for you, I just want you to realize that you’re going down a dark path and that you need to turn around before it’s too late.” I said. Joe wrapped his arms around my waist and held me against him tightly while sniffling into my hair. “I promise you, I’m never seeing them again. You and this baby are all I need and I’m sorry if I may have forgotten that with everything that’s been going on.” Joe said. “It’s okay, Joey. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. But please, talk to me if you need to. Don’t keep things bottled up, and don’t fall into the wrong crowd when you need an escape.” I said. “I promise you, baby. I know I’ve been such an asshole lately and haven’t been home that much, but please forgive me if you can, because I am so sorry.” Joe said. “Of course I forgive you. No matter what happens, you’re still my husband and I will always love you. Even if you passed out in front of a cop.” I laughed and pulled away from Joe to look into his eyes.

Joe put both of his hands on the sides of my face and swiped his thumbs under my eyes to catch my tears while chuckling at what I said. “Good, because I would be lost without you.” Joe said. As we looked into each other’s eyes, I couldn’t help but let out a small sob. It took everything in me not to have this conversation with him sooner, but I think it was good that I waited until he could realize for himself just how extensive it was getting. I know the injury was hard on him and that he needed an escape from reality sometimes, but he was finally back. My husband was finally back. “I missed you.” I whispered to him. “I missed me too.” Joe sighed and rested his head on mine.

[elvensorceress]

So there is a "leaked" script that claims Eddie asked Marisol to move in, and is it just me, or is that completely out of character for Eddie? He dated Ana for longer, and they weren't living together. we are really supposed to believe that he would ask Marisol to move in after a few months of dating? Unless Eddie is unable to process anything after learning his Buck. Is dating a man that is not him, and instead of breaking up with her like he planned, he pulls a Buck and asks her to move in with him.

Eddie does not deserve to be stuck with someone like Marisol.

According to 7x04, he apparently needs a live-in babysitter so he can go out with his shiny new boyfriend. So… 🤣  And it took a whole relationship and a blackout before Ana was his babysitter! Just from that much I’m still going, yikes. Like, girl, do you not have friends? Do you not have someone who will tell you this relationship is red flags all over the place? Can we not call up your Folger brother and have him talk some sense into you? 

You’re very right though. Eddie deserves so much better. 

I have heard about the supposed leaked scripts and I’ll talk some about that under a cut below in case anyone wants to read my thoughts on it. 

But what I’ll say in general is that in some of the interviews we’ve been seeing recently especially with canon bi!Buck, Mr. Showrunner had scathing things to say about love interests who are just there to be love interests. He didn’t like that they couldn’t interact with any of the other characters and that they weren’t part of the overall story. 

Given we’ve had what, two? offhand comments and maybe five whole seconds of screen time this season with her, if they wanted to actually develop that relationship for the audience, they could have done that. And should have done that a long, long time ago. (For example, see Eddie and Tommy’s relationship. In one whole episode they did more to build that up than they have done for Eddie/allegedgirlfriendconfirmedterf in all of season 6 or 7.)

Instead, they showcased the bond between Buck and the Diazes and the trauma that Eddie and Chris still have over Shannon leaving and them losing her. And also Eddie’s new friendship with Tommy that sounded like they were both spending every day, every moment together. 

So far for Miss Homophobe, we have—

hey mari it me eddie from the hardware store

the phone call where they set up a date

it's not MY date it's CHRIS' date (r u sure, dude? why is she there then 🤣)

her chaperoning Chris’ date with Eddie

her babysitting twice off screen

Obviously, she’s in the next episode and they have a pizza date while Eddie has to stare at his bestest friends while they’re on a date. But at this point, if you want the audience to root for the relationship or enjoy it at the very least, it’s a little late in the game for that? We have nothing to go on and it doesn’t make sense if we’re taking it at face value. 

All this to say, if he does ask her to move in with him, there is no way for the audience to buy that it’s genuine, reasonable, or a smart move. It reads like Buck asking Taylor to move in with him because he cheated and he’s desperate and clinging. Even if Eddie and the terf show up and are all happy and handsy and lovey, it’s not convincing. There’s been no development. It would come across like Buck and Ali apartment hunting and being touchy and giggly, and then her dumping him at the end of the episode. It sets up a contrast between what we think is happening and what is really happening. Perceived happiness vs the reality of not knowing each other and their relationship crumbling.

I don’t remember who said it or when it was said, maybe it was Kristen? But I know someone talked about how Eddie rushed things with Ana and they were wanting to do the opposite when continuing his story. Dating someone for (how long has it even been? 2-3 months? Idek? Does Eddie even know?) Mere months and asking them to move in reeks of, “something is going wrong and I have to fix it by doing something rash and ill-advised to keep us together.” 

Remind me to do a post about Eddie also being someone who clings and stays because it’s convenient and he doesn’t want to be alone. 

It would be completely out of character if it is a sincere, legit thing. However, as a panic response? I buy it. But that also doesn’t bode well for their future. Darn. Hold on, I’ll get the champagne. That relationship is just waiting to be bones. And in an episode called, “You Don’t Know Me,” is where they’re putting their relationship under a microscope? Hildy, cue up the ominous music. 

I doubt the glorious day we are free of her will be this week. I think they are just starting whatever they have planned. Unfortunately. I would hope they kept her around and brought her back for a reason like what they did with Eddie/Ana. I want there to be something satisfying about the end and the fact that we have to suffer through this. It just needs to happen quickly because I am so over homophobic terfs who know what fucking show they’re on and what the story is and still persist in their assholish bigotry.  

Now? My thoughts on the leaks?

IF we are to believe they are legit, and who knows if they are. But if we are saying they are legit, then Buck comes out to Eddie at the very end and Eddie is surprised. So, Eddie likely wouldn’t be jealous or weird about Buck and Tommy dating if he didn’t even know they are dating. Plus, they just had a whole episode dedicated to jealous!Buck and it would be redundant to immediately take that into, now EDDIE is the JEALOUS ONE. I think they’d have to take the story further for Eddie to really consider how he feels about Buck and Tommy dating. 

Maybe it will come down to him being displeased by it (for some unknown reason he just can't put his finger on) and grappling with how he genuinely likes Tommy a lot and that’s a new thing for him and one of Buck’s love interests? But it wouldn’t happen this week. In theory, this week is about Buck feeling like he’s hiding because he just realized he’s bi and hasn’t told anyone yet. Hence, more of the “you don’t know me.” 

Obviously, I am rooting for Buddie. All the way. All the time. I like Buck/Tommy just fine but they’re not BuckandEddie. But I think it will take a while before we see anything that might really develop the Buck & Eddie storyline. They’re working on Buck’s bisexual awakening and his first time dating a man. WHERE OH WHERE ARE MY EDDIE STORYLINES.  I just want them to do some justice for my boy. Give him something interesting! And for the terf to gtf away from him. :D

And apologies, I rambled a lot at you. Love and hugs!

[i-spaced-sorry]

Creepy Guy

Requested? No. This is based off an experience that happened to me recently, but I changed it up a bit to match the One Chicago Universe. In this Halstead sister works at a bar, but it’s not Mollys.  TW: Creepy guy, pet names I guess. 

Jay Halstead x Halstead!sister

“Can I ask you something?” you asked while taking a seat on your brother’s couch. 

Pausing the game that was on TV, he turned to you and replied, “sure! What’s up”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, when you opened them, you saw concern looking back at you. 

“I know this was creepy and wrong, I don’t even know what I’m asking or saying, but I think I just need to tell someone I think” you started to fidget. 

Coming to crouch in front of you, Jay looked up at you, “Hey, it’s alright, what’s going on”

“So, I was coming home from work the other day and it was going great! The regulars were there, it wasn’t so busy with it not being Baseball season yet, but afterwards” you began, while looking everywhere but at your brother. 

“Y/N, do you need a ride?” asked your coworker Kyle. Kyle was an older guy - 30 - who had started working at your bar a few weeks ago. He already had gained the trust of everyone who worked there and all the customers loved interacting with him, since he always had wild stories. 

“Uh, I already called an uber” you replied while tilting your phone in his direction to show proof. 

Motioning for you to walk to his car, he stated, “come on, I’ll take you home. It will be faster and cheaper than an Uber.” 

Nodding, you quickly canceled your ride and hopped into his passenger seat. 

****

“The ride had started out chill. He started asking me about how long I’d been living in Chicago, what area I lived in, ya know so he could drive me home, and kept going on about how it was definitely cheaper to get a ride from him than to pay a stranger half a night's tips just to get home.” you had added, while starting to play with your fingers. 

“What happened next” prompted Jay, while shuffling to sit on the end of the coffee table rather than crouching on his knees. 

“So, Y/N, are you looking to move anytime soon?” Kyle asked abruptly. 

Laughing, you replied, “Actually? Yea I am! I’m looking in the Bridgeport neighborhood mostly.”

“Well, sweetheart, I’m actually looking for someone to take care of my plants in the coming weeks. I have two free rooms available in my house. Rent would be hella cheap and all you would have to do is keep my plants alive.” 

Looking out the window, you replied, “I’ll think about it” although you knew good and well you wouldn’t be taking him up on his offer. 

“Okay doll, I need to know when to make a turn to get to your place” he added while continuing to drive. 

****

“As the drive went on he kept shifting between driving and verging on flirting” you stated. And this time when you spoke, you looked your brother dead in the eyes. 

For half a second you saw the fire flame emoji flash in your brother’s eyes. Before he blinked and his green eyes stared back at you with concern. 

“Can you maybe, tell me a little bit more about how he flirted with you? Was it just calling you the pet names and asking you to move into his house?” This was starting to feel like a witness statement, if your knowledge of cop procedural shows and having a detective as a brother was anything to go off of. 

“No, he said other stuff too, like -” you started. 

“So, do you have a boyfriend?” Kyle blurted out while at a stop light. You could feel his eyes on you when he asked the question. 

Looking down at your phone to see how much longer you had to sit in this car with the creep, you replied, “No, and you’ll turn right in 3 stop lights” god you should have just taken the Uber. 

“We are going to discuss this!” He began while starting to drive again. 

“What do you mean you don’t have a boyfriend, you're gorgeous.”

Laughing uncomfortably, you replied shyly, “If I knew the answer to that, I would have one by now” god when would this end. 

“You’re so beautiful and is it weird for me to be attracted to you”

“Eh, sort of,” you said quietly.

The two of you then sat in silence, when Kyle spoke again, “how much further til I have to drop you off”

You began trying to tell him, when he cut you off and asked to see your phone. You passed it over. 

***

“What happened next, Y/N/N?” Jay asked when he noticed you paused in the middle of telling the story. 

“He started guilt tripping me, because it was further than he thought it was to take me home.”

“Guilt tripping how?”

You closed your eyes and breathed, when you opened them you began to curl in on yourself. 

“He started saying how I needed to now go out and get a drink with him because he took me this far home. He even said I now I had to take care of his plants. And he just kept complaining about how he wished he knew it would be this far when I got in the car. But the thing is he felt so cocky and sure of where I lived when I mentioned it to him in the parking lot at work. He kept getting mad when I started apologizing and telling him he could just drop me at a bus stop and I could bus the rest of the way home.”

When you paused again, Jay hugged you and asked, “What was his response to that?”

“He said and I quote, sweetheart, a 5ft1 pretty girl like you shouldn’t be riding public transportation late at night.” you began to get riled up, “I’m not naive! I’m not stupid! I’m 24 god dammit!  I know to be careful of my surroundings! I’m just not a rough around the edges jaded person either! I give people the benefit of the doubt and… and…” and before you knew it you were in tears sobbing. 

You hadn’t told a single soul what had happened that night. Nothing sexual happened but it was creepy as hell and all you wanted to do was bury it but it kept popping up in your subconscious. 

When you finished sobbing and were just reduced to tears and sniffles, Jay spoke. 

“First of all I’m so sorry that happened to you. That should have never happened.  I think you need to tell your boss about this though. Especially if he is well liked and respected by customers and coworkers. And I’m not saying that because I’m a cop, I’m saying that as your brother too. What he did was super inappropriate and creepy and that should not have happened.”

You sat there taking in what Jay was saying, “but, I got in his car though. I made that choice. I could have chosen to take an uber, but something in me thought he was a good guy”

Jay could see how you thought this was your fault and he hated that. 

“Listen to me, this was not your fault! You hear me. He offered to drive you home and you had evidence to back up your theory of him being a nice guy! So you did nothing wrong. You copy?”

“Copy”   

read on AO3

[daughterofcain-67]

𝑀𝒾𝓈𝓉𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑜𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒪𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒜𝒸𝓉𝒾𝓋𝒾𝓉𝒾𝑒𝓈

(Alec McDowell x Female Reader)

𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE MISTLETOE WITH ALEC 🙏 I NEED THAT MAN LIKE I NEED AIR 😭 anyway love u <3 (Anonymous)

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎: Thank you so much for your request, Love, and I hope that you enjoy! 💖

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Alec isn’t really into the holiday season but when Max forces him to go to a party, he starts to get curious about certain traditions. Little does he know that you’d be willing to show him.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: This is not accurate to the show, sorry to those who know if Alec has already celebrated Christmas or not. This is in essence Alec’s first real Christmas without having to train or be on any sort of mission.

It was a cold, honestly ugly day in Seattle. There were piles of muddy snow where people would walk, and people would complain about freezing their asses off. Meanwhile some other people would talk about the upcoming holidays and how they should enjoy the time while it was there. Even when that may have been easier said than done for some people.

Alec never would have thought in a million years that he would be standing right here. He knew of what Christmas was because of how Max had described it to him sometime after Manticore blew up. But he never thought he’d actually get around to celebrating it. Not really.

Most of his Christmas’s growing up on the military base were spent either training or working on some kind of undercover mission. He’s never experienced the whole decorating a Christmas tree thing or making gingerbread houses, or anything like that. And since he escaped, he wasn’t necessarily sure that he really wanted to be a part of the holiday activities. He didn’t really see the point.

At the moment Alec had just arrived to the post office to clock in for the day when Max caught him. He lifted a brow as he looked down at the fellow mutant soldier and smirked.

“Isn’t it a little early for you to be seeking me out?” He asked and Max nudged his arm and rolled his eyes.

“It’s way too early for you to be a smart-ass.” Max said, “Anyway, I only came over because Original Cindy and I are going to have a Christmas party at our place and she thought that it would be a good idea for you to swing by.”

“You mean you aren’t going to your little boyfriend’s place for the night? That’s a first.” Alec smirked.

“Logan is coming by too.”

“Right, and you think I’d actually go to a party like that?”

“Why not? You seem to be the type to go to any other party. And it’s not like there won’t be any girls there for you to flirt with.” Max reminded.

“How dare you?” Alec feigned offense by placing a hand over his heart, “You really think I’d only go to a party for girls?”

“You would if you thought the girls were hot. And I know for a fact Y/N is gonna be there.”

Alec’s brows raised up for a moment, “So?”

“Oh don’t act like I don’t know what I’m talking about. I see the way you look at her and the fact that you have talked to literally all of the girls here except her kind of speaks volumes.”

“No one ever said those statistics always have a positive outcome.” Alec commented. “Besides, I don’t care who’s going. And I just haven’t gotten around to talking to her yet. I’ve been talking to some others first, is that so wrong””

“Uh, little on the defensive aren’t we? Okay well, you’re going whether you like it or not. It’s not like you have any other plans other than hitting the bar or the strip club tomorrow night, right?”

Alec rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little called out since that would likely be the only plans he would have. “Tomorrow night? Yeah, I guess it won’t kill me to make an appearance.”

“Good. Now I’ll see you around.” Alec watched Max leave.

Honestly, he hated how much Max was starting to be like a sister - in the sense that she was starting to know him a little too well and she’s starting to read him like a book. But he supposed it wasn’t totally a bad thing. She did tend to have his back the more they got to know each other. He was thankful for that kind of sibling bond - even if she was a pain in his ass most of the time.

While Alec was heading to his locker, he caught a glimpse of you taking some packages and put them in the basket of your bicycle.

So what if he hadn’t talked to you yet? He’s seen the way that you were with people. You were so optimistic about so many things even if this world was shit. You have a certain charisma that pulls everyone towards you and they like you almost instantly, whether you care to talk to them or not. You were just approachable, likable.

Not to mention beautiful.

Sure, Alec has talked to several women and yes a lot of them were attractive. But none of them were quite like you. You had the most beautifully colored eyes he had ever seen, and the way your hair frames your face so perfectly. Everything about you was stunning, but he knew that you had to have some kind of boyfriend already.

Just because Alec talked to a lot of women, that didn’t mean he was the kind of guy to go after someone else’s girl.

In the midst of his thoughts, he didn’t realize he had been staring at you. Not until he saw you wave and he blinked before he looked away, slamming the locker door shut and he went to go deliver packages.

You were a little stunned when Alec abruptly slammed his locker door and walked off. That was a little unlike him.

Then again, you weren’t necessarily sure what he was really like at all. You barely knew a thing about him, much to your dismay.

“You good?” Max asked and you glanced over just to see her and Cindy standing together.

“Yeah, just wondering if Alec’s alright. He was staring at me, I don’t think he realized that he was. But when I waved at him, he slammed his locker and went to start his route.” You explained and Max chuckled.

“Oh don’t worry about him. I’m sure he’s fine. He has his random moments, I swear he’s not normally that awkward. Maybe he had something on his mind.”

You shrugged it off, but you still couldn’t help but wonder what he was staring at you like that for. It was a little creepy if he just did it for no reason. But you turned back to your basket to make sure your packages were secured while Max spoke again.

“You’re still coming to the party tomorrow night right?” She asked.

“Yeah! It wouldn’t be a party without you there.” Original Cindy smiled and you grinned. How could you let your two best friends down.

“I didn’t exactly have anything else planned now did I?” You replied, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Great! Now don’t forget that it’s at six tomorrow.” Max reminded and you nodded.

“I won’t forget, and I’ll see you there.”

As Max and Original Cindy walked off, you grinned at them. You never thought that you’d have this sort of camaraderie when you started working here at the Jam Pony. Max and Cindy took you. Under their wing practically from the first day you started working here three years ago. You had gotten to the Jam Pony two years before Alec did.

Alec..

He was certainly an interesting character you had to admit. Attractive, sarcastic as hell, but he never failed to make you smile even if he didn’t intend to. He just had that kind of personality you supposed.

You wondered if he would be at the Christmas party, or if he’d find different ways to spend his time.

Honestly you hoped that he would decide to come to the party. Maybe that would be the chance you would have to actually talk to him and maybe get to know him a little outside of work.

After all, everyone could use a friend.

You were enjoying yourself at Max and Original Cindy’s party. There was some faint Christmas music in the background but it was mostly overshadowed by people talking amongst themselves and having a fun time.

You couldn’t help but notice how Max seemed to really let down her walls around Logan. He seems really sweet to her and you hoped the best for the two of them.

In a way you envy them. You’ve never found someone that made you feel the way Logan made Max feel. You simply figured that it wasn’t your time yet.

Anyways, you were leaning against the counter top in Max and Cindy’s kitchen while Cindy and Sketchy were talking. You heard about half of what they were saying, yet the other half just went straight though your other ear.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N?” Sketchy waved the palm of his hand in front of your face, causing you to look up at him and then at Original Cindy.

“Girl, whatcha thinkin’ so deeply about?” Cindy asked you and you shrugged.

“Nothing, just watching people enjoy the party.” You insisted.

“Oh come on, now’s not the time for people watching! Here, let me pour you a drink.” Sketchy said and he grabbed one of the solo cups from the counter to make some kind of concoction.

“She’s got it bad for him, doesn’t she?” Cindy asked as she looked at Max and Logan.

“I’d say so. They have their cute moments. Although Max should lighten up a little more and let something come out of whatever it is they’ve got going on.” You let out a sigh.

“Yeah well I give it another hundred years before those two become official.” You heard a different voice chime in. When you looked over, you and Original Cindy saw that Alec made an appearance after all.

“About time you showed up.” Cindy said with a smirk, putting a hand on her hip, “What took you so long?”

“Better late than never, right? Besides, I had to make a pit-stop.” Alec said as he held up a couple of six packs.

“Ah great! We’ve got some extras.” Sketchy said when he came back with your drink and he handed it to you, then he took the six packs from Alec to put them somewhere with the other drinks.

“I didn’t think you would show up.” You said with a chuckle and Alec looked down at you since he was significantly taller than you were.

“I mean I thought about it. But you know Max. She can be awfully…”

“Persuasive?” You completed and Alec chuckled before he nodded.

“So, where’s your boyfriend? Didn’t he come to this thing?” He asked you, and you were confused.

“Was I supposed to have a boyfriend to come to this thing?” You asked with a chuckle, then you realized he looked confused for a moment, “Who told you I had a boyfriend?”

“No one, just an assumption.” Alec said with a shrug then he looked over at Sketchy, “Here, let me help you with those so you don’t spill anything.”

About an hour went by and it was starting to get a little late. Some people left a little early because they had earlier shifts, but the ones who had later shifts or had days off tomorrow stayed behind. Alec happened to be the ones that stayed behind.

Although something caught his eye.

There was a green plant with red ribbon pinned on the doorway separating the kitchen and the living room of this place. Anytime two people lingered beneath it and they were either caught or they noticed it for themselves, they would kiss.

This happened a couple of times and it was starting to puzzle him, did people kiss under the mistletoe on purpose?

“You’re doing that thing again.” Alec heard your voice.

When he looked at you, you were holding two styrofoam cups full of cider and you offered him one.

“What thing?” He asked you before thanking you for the cider. It felt warm in his hands and he took a sip of it.

“That staring thing. I wouldn’t make it too much of a habit. Some people might get creeped out by that.” He heard you chuckle and he figured you meant about the previous day.

“Sorry about that. I guess I should break that habit.” He chuckled and you smiled at him.

“No worries. Just wondering if you’re alright.”

That was… oddly sweet of you. Then again, he knew that it was in your nature from what he had observed about you, “I’m alright. Just a little confused by the amount of make outs that have taken place under that doorway.”

He watched you glanced over to the corridor and he heard you chuckle before you looked up at him, “Do you not know what happens under the mistletoe around this time of year?”

Alec shook his head and he saw a look on your face, maybe shock? “I’ve been told I live under a rock.” He explained.

“Ah… well typically when a couple stands beneath mistletoe, they kiss. It’s one of those Christmas tradition things.” You replied and Alec lifted a brow a little.

“How did you not know that?” Alec heard the curiosity in your voice and he let out a nervous laugh before he rubbed the back of his neck, covering up the barcode.

How was he supposed to say that where he came from, he was a soldier and Christmas traditions were the last thing the soldiers of Manticore were concerned with, “Where I come from, we didn’t really celebrate Christmas or indulge into those traditions. So I’m a little bit of a late bloomer with knowing what some of the traditions are.”

You gazed up at him as he talked to you. This was probably the longest conversation you’ve ever had with Alec, and you honestly hoped that it wouldn’t end anytime soon.

“I see.. well there’s nothing wrong with that. I mean I know of some traditions but I don’t really indulge in them either. I’ve actually never made a gingerbread house, but that’s a big thing that some people do around Christmas time.” You confessed.

“I’ve heard of gingerbread houses. Sounds like it could be… interesting I guess? Unfortunately I’m not much of a baker, not exactly an architect either.” Alecs laughter made your heart swell but you grinned at his response.

“Guys! Come on, you’re gonna miss watching the Grinch with us!” Sketchy called to you and Alec.

“Well, you heard him, Alec! Let’s go.” You smiled and you took his free hand before the two of you ended up sitting together on the floor to watch the movie together. It was the version of the Grinch with Jim Carrey and it happened to be one of your favorite Christmas movies.

“Have you ever seen this before?” You asked Alec and he shook his head before you grinned. You supposed he would have quite a few firsts the more he hung out with Max’s group.

You continued to watch the movie yet you couldn’t help but to wonder what else Alec had missed out on if he’s never heard of the mistletoe thing, never made a gingerbread house, or even seen the grinch. Then you wondered what exactly he had done.

Meanwhile Alec watched the movie for the first time and he could see why you liked it. It was actually pretty funny. Although it was kinda pathetic that an entire town bullied a kid into self isolation. What a shitty thing to do.

When he glanced down at you, he noticed that you seemed to be off in your own little world while you enjoyed the movie. He noticed that this is probably the happiest he’s seen you, surrounded by Christmas related activities and parties. Even at work you seemed to smile more.

Honestly, seeing you like this was uplifting in a way. It gave him a break from the shitty job he had or the memories of those past Christmases with missions he had to deal with. He wouldn’t mind if you taught him some traditions or even did some of those traditions with him.

He wondered what experiences you’ve had with the holiday growing up, it kind of made him wonder what he and so many other transgenics like him missed out on because of their upbringing.

On the flipped side, Max had been in the very same shoes that he was in, and now here she was hosting Christmas parties and having fun. He was excited to be out of that military base so he could experience all of these things too, really experience them without worrying about blowing some kind of cover he was under.

While he turned his attention back to the movie on the screen, he placed his arm around your shoulder, deciding to make a move now that he knew you didn’t have a boyfriend - a fact that still shocked him - and he could feel you relax beneath his touch. He grinned to himself the moment he felt your head on his shoulder.

Unfortunately, every year you felt like when you watch the Grinch, or any Christmas movie for that matter, the film got shorter and shorter. It felt like only thirty minutes had gone by and it was over. When the movie ended, some people said their goodbyes and decided to call it a night.

You decided to stay behind with Sketchy, Logan and Alec to help clean up the place so it wasn’t too much of a disaster to deal with the following morning.

You were in the kitchen washing some of the dishes so Max or Original Cindy wouldn’t worry about them, and while you were doing that Alec happened to come in with a trash bag full of cups and cans and other trash guests left behind.

“Can I ask you something?” You finally spoke.

“Yeah, shoot.”

“How come you’ve never talked to me before tonight?” You asked curiously. That question had been in your mind for a while, even before that night had even started, and you couldn’t help but wonder about it.

“Honestly, I dunno. You seem friendly and I know I’ve had different opportunities to talk. But I guess at work all we really get is a quick ‘hello’ before we go on our routes. Never had the time to have more of a conversation than just that.” He said.

And you supposed that could be a fair argument. It was rare that the two of you have had the same shifts. And when you saw each other any other time, it was like he said: if you two were to actually talk, you didn’t really get a word in before it was time to go on the routes. Normal was a little relentless with how he runs things at work.

“Yeah, I guess with Normal being up everyone’s ass it kind of makes it hard to have longer talks.” You said, but it still felt like he was holding the truth back - whatever his truth was. You wouldn’t push him though. Honestly you weren’t sure if you wanted to know what his truth was.

“Now it’s my turn to ask you a question.” You heard Alec say as you finished up with the dishes.

“Okay?”

“How come you didn’t have anyone to bring you to this thing?” He asked, causing you to lift a brow.

“Anyone meaning a boyfriend sort of anyone?” You laughed and he shrugged as he tied a knot in the trash bag so it could be taken out.

“Well, it could be any mixture of things I suppose. Maybe it could be because I haven’t really been talking to guys at work and caught their interest yet. Maybe it’s because a the one person I would have an interest in hasn’t asked me out yet. Maybe it’s just because I don’t quite get out much and my life is mostly between work and home.” You shrugged.

“A mixture of those, huh?” Alec chuckled.

“And since you brought that up, how come you didn’t have a girlfriend to come along with you? I mean you’re bound to be someone’s type.” You said with a teasing tone and a smirk, causing Alec to chuckle a little.

“Well, maybe I have the same predicament.” Alec said.

“Yeah right! That’s so not what I’ve heard. You have no problems talking to other girls, and how come you didn’t have a little arm candy?” You dried off your hands with one of the kitchen towels.

“Honestly? Felt like coming by myself tonight. Yeah I talk to different people but obviously that’s empty flirting and I can do that anywhere I want to. Just didn’t feel like it this time around I guess.” He replied and went to the sink, washing his hands to get whatever gunk was on the trash bag off his hands.

You hummed a little at the explanation, leaning your back against a random wall before you handed him the towel to dry off his hands and he thanked you for it.

“I’m glad you came, even if Max may have had to persuade you to come.” You admitted and he looked at you once more.

“It was actually pretty fun. I didn’t think she knew how to throw a party that was fun like this.” He commented and you rolled your eyes.

“You’d be surprised,” You grinned, “You two really are like siblings, huh?” Then he laughed.

“Sort of.” He said but then he noticed something about where you were standing.

“Well, we’ve established that couples kiss under a mistletoe, but you didn’t explain when a one person is beneath.” Alec commented and he watched you look up above you just to see the plant above your head. Then he saw the way your cheeks seemed to flush in color.

“Well… you’re a smart guy. I’m sure you can figure it out without needing someone to explain it.” He heard you say and he smiled a little before he tossed the hand towel onto the counter next to the dishes before he carefully walked towards you.

“Well, I can’t keep a damsel like you waiting alone, now can I?” He said as he carefully placed a hand on you hip. You could tell that he was being cautious and trying to give you the opportunity to push him away if this wasn’t what you wanted.

A sweet gesture, really, but how dumb could he be to think you didn’t want this? And how dumb could you be to push him away?

“I suppose it wouldn’t be that heroic of you to keep one waiting beneath mistletoe.” You chuckled and one of your hands found a spot on his shoulder.

Then, he carefully leaned down and placed a soft and quick kiss on the corner of your mouth, as if he were trying to be a tease about it. You weren’t surprised that he would be a bit of a tease.

When you moved your hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck, however, he looked down at you for a moment before he smirked slightly. Then he leaned down and kissed your lips and lingered this time.

You knew that this wasn’t anticipated, and honestly you didn’t think you would be standing beneath mistletoe and kissing a man you had barely spoken to, but Alec took your breath away with his kiss. This kiss was different than you had expected from him; surprisingly sweet and gentle and he handled you with care.

His lips were a little chapped but they were warm and soft nonetheless. It took you by surprise when you felt his other hand cup your face but the moment that he did it felt like it was just the two of you. You had honestly forgotten that you weren’t even in your own home.

Then, the kiss ended too soon for your liking but you knew you couldn’t stay there forever, even though you would have loved to stay like that with Alec.

“Wow…”You whispered breathlessly and Alec grinned, noticing your cheeks were redder than before.

“It’s about damned time you two did something!” Original Cindy’s voice broke through the atmosphere between you and Alec.

You and Alec both glanced over and noticed that you had a little audience, consisting of Cindy, Max, Alex and Sketchy.

“How long were you guys standing there watching?” You asked with a chuckle.

“Long enough to know that if something doesn’t happen between you two after tonight, I’ll be sorely disappointed.” Cindy said.

“Same here. Alec, you had better take care of my girl, Y/N, otherwise I’ll be kicking your ass straight to the moon.” Max said with a playful smirk as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Wait, you two have been waiting for something like this to happen?” You laughed.

“Waiting? More like manifesting. Max has told me about you two and what she’s hoped to happen.” Logan said with a little chuckle as he adjusted his glasses.

“Awe, so you do think of me outside of work.” Alec teased and Max rolled her eyes and shook her head, smirking.

“Yeah, whatever. Now would you guys get out of here? Cindy and I will finish up with the cleaning.” Max said.

“Personally, I’m wiped. I’ll see y’all around. Thanks for the party, guys. That was great.” Sketchy said with a smile and he held up a peace sign before he walked out of the door.

“I’ll stay and help you finish up.” Logan insisted, but that wasn’t too much of a surprise there.

Then Alec looked down at you for a moment, “You want me to walk you home?”

You smiled up at him, “I’d like that. Maybe on the way we can talk about more of those traditions. I’ll even look into getting some gingerbread houses or something.”

“Sounds like a plan, Sweetheart.” Alec said and he held your hand before the two of you walked out of the apartment.

Never in a million years did Alec think he would be in a place where he would be kissing a girl under mistletoe, or even talk about something like building gingerbread houses. But he knew that this year would be different and he couldn’t be more excited to what this season held for him now that you were there.

Hello everyone! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! This will be the first of hopefully a plethora of holiday themed one shots and I ok forward to sharing them with you! Wishing you all the best~

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Feelings

RYUSUI X READER Fluff story. It’s ok. (Taking requests 📲)

“(Y/N) don’t you ever get jealous whenever Ryusui talks about loving and wanting every girl he sees?” Minami asks. “Yeah, it is quite strange for your partner to do that…” Ruri added. “Oh come on, you all know that Ryusui doesn’t mean it like that,” Kohaku said. “Well you never know, maybe (Y/N) does feel jealous, she just doesn’t wanna say,” Minami said, trying to push me to talk. “Uhh… well I don’t know. I don’t really get jealous, because I know he means different types of love or want with people,” I said. “Hmm… well I guess you have a point, but if my man said he wanted every girl in the world I’d leave him. Why put up with that?” Minami scoffed. “I guess that is true. Doesn’t it get annoying?” Kohaku asked. “Not really… well…” I started. “Ooh! Do share!” Minami said with stars in her eyes. I laughed awkwardly, it makes sense that a reporter wants all the details. “Well…” I repeated. I watched as the 3 blondes squeezed in closer to hear clearly. “I just wished that we would go on real dates. Where he doesn’t have Francois tag along, not like there’s anything wrong with Francois!… but I wish that we have normal just us time. Where…” I sighed. “Where he just pays attention to me and nothing else…” I ended and looked up to the speechless group. “Selfish isn’t it?” I asked nervously. “No!” The 3 said and hugged me. “That is not selfish, and even if it is, you have a right to be selfish!” Minami shouted. “She’s right, your partner should treat you with respect! They should show you how much they care about you,” Ruri explained. “Man that dumb pirate! I should knock some sense into him,” Kohaku frowned. “No! No… it’ll be fine I swear! Plus, he’s busy trying to help Senku rebuild the world. So it’s obvious he doesn’t have time… for his girlfriend,” I said the last part softly. “Oh (Y/N)…” Ruri frowned and patted my shoulder. “Trust me you guys, everything is fine,” I smiled. “If you say so…” Minami said. “Hmph, I could still beat a thing or two inside of him,” Kohaku said. I laughed and walked away from the 3 to begin tending the garden.

I finished watering and planting some more vegetables that prosper during this season. “(Y/N)! My beloved!” I heard and quickly turned to see Ryusui… and Francois. “Hi Ryusui, hello Francois,” I smiled and wiped my hands before walking over to the two. “Hello (Y/N), you vegetables look beautiful. I hope to use them in my cooking,” Francois bowed. “Well of course you will, Francois! (Y/N)’s vegetables mixed with your superb cooking will surely make an excellent dish. For the world’s greediest man!” He laughed. I smiled and then remembered the conversation I had earlier. I shook my head and noticed the looks on Ryusui and Francois' faces. “Something wrong my beloved?” He asked. “No… nothing!” I said. “Hmm…” I caught Francois' stare for a bit. “Well, I must excuse myself, as I need to begin dinner,” Francois said, and quickly bowed and turned to walk off. “Huh? Hmm… even Francois is acting strange…” Ryusui said as he began to think. “Who knows?” I shrugged. “Hey, are you sure you’re alright?” He asked again. “Uhh… yeah, I am,” I said. “Hmm… well alright then!” He smiled. “Now I have to go find Senku, he said he needs some last minute ship checking, to ensure that we are able to set sail by the end of the month,” he said. I nodded, “I’ll see you later,” I smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek, and we both went our separate ways.

Sun was setting and I decided to head to bed. I slowly walked home, “Hey! (Y/N)!” I heard and turned to see Ryusui running after me. “Oh, hi Ryusui. How are you? Did you finish checking the ship?” I asked. “Yes! But forget about that, are you free right now?” He asked. “Yes?” I said, confused. “Good, follow me!” He said and grabbed my hand, pulling me to wherever he was taking me.

“Where are we going?” I asked. “You’ll see,” he said. Then suddenly he stopped, quickly turning around to face me. “Close your eyes,” he said. “O-Ok,” I stuttered and covered my eyes with my hands. I then felt Ryusui step behind me and place his arm around my lower back. He then guided me to wherever it was he was taking me. A few more steps and Ryusui stopped. “Alright, open your eyes,” he said. I finally uncovered my eyes and stood in shock by the scene in front of me. It was a small picnic! “R-Ryusui did you do this?” I asked in amazement. “I did, as well as these,” he said, and handed me a small bouquet of wildflowers. “Oh, they’re beautiful, thank you!” I said and jumped towards him for a hug. “Of course, but I’m sorry that everything isn’t as top quality as usual,” he said. “Huh?” I asked. “Well… you didn’t look so happy earlier. So I asked Francois ways that may make you happy and they suggested a nice date, so I decided to put something small together,” he said. “Thank you, I love it. Everything is perfect!” I smiled. We sat down and ate the sandwiches Ryusui made. “Ha ha! I guess you could call this date a success!” He said proudly. “Mm-hmm!” I nodded. “Good, then I hope this means you can tell me what was bothering you earlier. I just want you to know that you can tell me anything,” he said softly and placed his hand on top of mine. “Oh, well…” I started. “Ryusui, sometimes when we hangout you usually start talking about other stuff, but sometimes I wish… that you would just pay attention to me. Plus have more dates like this, just the two of us… without Francois,” I said softly. “I see,” he said firmly. “Sorry, I’m being so selfish,” I said. “It’s alright, plus there’s something else isn’t there?” He asked. “Ha ha… I just wish that whenever we have times like this you don’t talk about wanting other people or things,” I said nervously. “That sounds weird now that I said it out loud! I take it-“ I was interrupted by Ryusui suddenly pulling me into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said. “No it’s fine!” I said. “Stop doing that! Stop acting like it’s no big deal, it’s ok for you to share these feelings with me,” he said firmly. “You’re right! I tend to bring up other people or things that I want too much when we’re together. I didn’t realize how annoying it was for you, especially when you want to just enjoy the little time we have together before I travel out to sea,” he said, tightening his hug. “I just didn’t want to bother you. I know you have your mind on other things, especially when trying to rebuild humanization,” I smiled. Ryusui shook his head, “Yes, but I need to have time and mind set aside for you,” he said. I leaned up and pulled him in for a kiss. “Thank you for understanding, I was nervous you’d get angry or annoyed by my feelings,” I said softly before pulling him in for another kiss. “So tell me beautiful, would you want to spend the night at my place tonight? You’ll have all my attention tonight,” he said as he kissed my hand. “That sounds lovely,” I said and followed him back to his hut.

[squivulous]

My Podcast Masterlist

I have a long commute, giving me two hours a day to listen to podcasts. Here is my documentation of all the audio dramas I’ve consumed plus a little blurb. I just wanted to organize them in a list and also (selfishly) get recommendations if anyone would be so kind. Or maybe you’ll see something that’ll interest you. Enjoy!

Podcasts I’m Caught Up With

The Penumbra Podcast: I’ve made an animatic for this one. I’m down bad. This is the one that sucked me into this podcast world.

Malevolent: Arthur dating sim when??? Everyone wants him. Also it took me way too long to find out it was an actual play podcast.

Red Valley: Gordon fan all the way. Normally I do like the Sad Boy but Gordon is that type of dorky that makes me want to protect him.

Caravan: Interesting world and love a main character that makes questionable decisions. Everything is going to be fine :)

WOE.BEGONE: I’m obsessed. It happened slowly but now I think about it every day… And the music is so good! Mike Walters is cringefail, bbygurl, easy to manipulate, and saws his left arm off at the shoulder.

The Cellar Letters: Legit gets me spooked at times. Steve and Nate are good vibes. I’m sure glad nothing ever happens to them.

Harbor: Love that Sam being a malewife ruined his life.

Rifted: Aurora, another Sad Boy to add to my collection. Daniel should give him a kiss to make him feel better.

Heroics: Pls come back some day… I need more Josh. He’s in his slay era.

Second Fiddles: Max is owning being a bbygurl. Also there are a lot of poop jokes which is weird but I’ll look past it.

Hand in Glove: idk anything about baseball but these baseball players are smoochinggg.

Find Us Alive: Lancaster in booty jorts. It's canon. Don't look it up. I'm right. ALSO HE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM PLS.

The Kingmaker Histories: The kiss is still the subject of much historical debate. Eisen <3

The Viridian Wild: It hasn’t been updated since 2021 but I still have hope.

Dos: After You: Ghosting GONE WRONG

Brimstone Valley Mall: SEASON TWO IS COMING. 90’s mall setting is really fun and I’m here for the thing Asmoraius and Trent have going on.

Levian: It starts off with a bang! Well not quite since his sister walks in oops. Excited to see where this pirate tale takes us.

Midnight Burger: Each episode is a delight and as someone who is bad at science, I appreciate Gloria and Caspar. Caspar pls stay forever and also Brodie <3

Return Home: I’m really listening to it for Buddy and DW.

Raythe Reign: Sometimes you need a yaoi.

The White Vault: At this point, I know what I’m getting into and yet still decide to get attached to these characters

The Amelia Project: Please don’t hurt the Interviewer! He’s too goofy for all this drama. I’m scared!

Fawx & Stallion: James Stallion being canonically hot in any situation is such a win

Victoriocity: Inspector Fleet has had a long week and needs some days off

Yokai Detective Agency: I’m always a sucker for detective stories and I’m looking forward to where this one is going

Desert Skies: Charming characters and love that the plot has a nice pace, not dragging things out

The Grotto: the music is so good but also please help. The emotional turmoil is torrential.

Camlann: Yo…. Dai, for real???

Podcasts I’ve Completed

Dash: This might not be completed? This is actually the first audio drama I finished. Classic noir but supernatural and boys are smooching!

The Two Princes: This was wholesome and had good vibes. I prefer the first season but it was still a fun time.

The Magnus Archives: Arrived late to the party on this one, but I love all the fanart. Awakened my interest in pathetic men.

EOS 10: I also am not 100% sure this is done but I enjoyed the shenanigans!

Wolf 359: Eiffel, my beloved. I liked the silly and dramatic parts of this story. It hurt my soul but it was worth it :)

Time:Bombs: noahdeaart's fanart made me think this was going in a different direction... Still a fun one!

Valence: Love this one WAAAAHHH! Pls listen. I love Nico. Sad Boy but hides it under their chaos energy.

The Bright Sessions: I would 1005% listen to a spin-off just about Mark. This Sad Boy keeps collecting trauma and I need to see him and Oliver maybe go on adventures or something. ANYTHING.

Roommates: I, too, had a pandemic college experience. It's kinda bizarre that there's already a story about that and I love it!

Look Up: Wholesome. Briggon Snow kept me fed.

Moonface: Appreciate having an audio drama from an Asian American perspective. Didn’t realize how much I needed that.

Murray Mysteries: Must protect Jonathan.

Kaleidotrope: More wholesome content. I got more into it by the second half. The hosts have a fun dynamic!

Re: Dracula: Still thinking about Inside You.

Wooden Overcoats: Rudyard is my fav. Chapman deserves the hate.

The Vanishing Act: this Rudyard wasn’t my fav. I was happy to listen to him suffer but also happy when he fell in love. A win for Griffson!

Greater Boston: Michael Tate <3

Ars Paradoxica: Nikhil Sharma <3

Podcasts I’m Catching Up On

Life with Althaar: I knew that plant lady was sus

The Night Post: Ashley……

Love and Luck: I’m on ep 87 now some magical things are going down

Going Lowbrow: I wasn’t expecting a musical but I’m not complaining.

SAYER: There are no bees on Typhon :)

WTNV: I got behind during high school and now I’m too scared to get caught up… one day. It's been so long at this point I think I'd need to start over.

BRASS: I fell behind on episodes :(

Not Quite Dead: If there are vampires, I'm automatically interested. Only a few eps in.

Hi Nay: I’m listening to Murphy respectfully.

Podcasts I’ve Dropped

Moonbase Theta Out

Dreamboy

Archive 81

The Sheridan Tapes

Jar of Rebuke

I’ll keep this updated every so often. Most of these I’ve found either from scouring rec lists or seeing nice fanart.

Please let me know of any recommendations you may have! Thanks for reading if you got this far. Mad respect.

Last updated: 04/14/24

[urfavstargirl1]

I'll be Home for Christmas - an e.m. series

Part 1: Back to the Old House

Summary: Y/N dreads going back home to Hawkins for Christmas. She isn’t prepared to face her family or the ghost of her relationship with ex-bf!Eddie

Cw: angst, pining, yearning, second chance romance, mentions of smoking, cursing, mentions of alcohol, latina!fem!reader (minor cultural references), best friends to lovers, set in 1992, reader celebrates christmas, if st4 didn’t happen

Word count: 6.2k

AO3 | Spotify Playlist

a/n: taking a brief pause on chemistry series to do this mini holiday series. Inspired by the song back to the old house by the smiths (additional chapters inspired by other smiths songs to be mentioned later) here's to an angsty second chance romance christmas story with none other than eddie munson!

Part 2, Part 3

The year is 1992. It’s been years since I’ve been back. I tried ardently to avoid going back to that old house. There’s too many bad memories.

I’ve spent the last few christmases with friends or boyfriends in the city. But this is my first Christmas single and without an excuse to avoid going back home. 

Back to that old house where I’m reminded of all that went wrong. All the reasons why I wanted to leave.

There’s nothing for me in Hawkins. Not anymore. 

That’s why when I graduated high school I went off to a college on the east coast, moved on to an Ivy League law school, and set roots for my dream life as an attorney in the city. 

I would go back to Hawkins during the first few summers and during the holidays, but after a while, it all just became too unbearable.

Every time I’m back, I revert to the fragile insecure girl I used to be. I lose all sense of strength and confidence I’ve gained over the years.

But still, I make my pilgrimage. If not for me then for my family. I know they miss me and I feel a bit guilty for missing out these past few years. My parents are getting older and my younger siblings are growing up. I know I should spend time with them before it’s too late. Learned that one the hard way.

It’ll be our first Christmas since my grandfather passed away earlier this year. I know he would have wanted us to make the season bright. So I swallow my pride and go back to the old house.

I drive through those long winding roads with trees that have known my name for years. I attempt to drown out my thoughts by playing the various mixtapes I’ve been making since college, curating a taste in music much richer and vibrant than anything Hawkins me could have ever dreamed of. 

At the very least, I think younger me would like the person we’ve become. I think she would be excited to see what our life looks like now. From the things we’ve accomplished to the clothes we wear, she would love it all. 

Most of all, I think she would be proud of the courage we acquired over the years. She would love to know we’re no longer in the business of pleasing everyone but ourselves. 

But when I drive through Cornwallis or Cherry Street, it all sort of fades away and suddenly I’m seventeen again.

And when I pass all those red brick houses decorated in tinkling lights and the kids riding around on their bicycles, it gives me reprieve, if only for a moment, before I pull into the paved driveway, knowing once I open that front door, I will be back in the old house. 

Everything still looks the same, and oddly enough, it still smells the same. It’s just as loud as it always is. 

My parents, siblings, and extended family are all milling about. Some are sharing stories, others are watching the football game that the tv is perpetually tuned in to, and many are crowding the kitchen cooking or eating.

I think I can handle it all. For a moment, I convince myself that I can handle being back in this old house, if not for me then for my family. 

But then my mother passes me a slip of paper with a phone number and the name Eddie Munson written on it. She tells me he called for me earlier that afternoon.

I gulp and nod, telling her I’ll go and settle down in my room. I take my baggage up the stairs and enter the room that hasn’t changed since 1984. I place my bags and things by the foot of the bed and sit down on the edge of it. I unfurl the paper and look at the black ink letters.

Eddie Munson, now that is a name I haven’t heard in years. But truth be told, it’s one that’s lingered in the back of my mind the whole time. 

It’s a name that used to make me smile and my heart soar, but now it's a name that brings a tear to my eye or a heavy weight of grief placed directly above my heart.

Why did he even call? Should I call him back? What would I even tell him after all this time? Would it even be worth it? And why did he have to call here? 

It’s funny, some of the habits we accidentally keep from our youth. Even at age 26, I still feel the need to hide him.

There’s no reason to. The damage was already done years ago. What could my parents possibly do about it now? 

But I guess it’s true when they say old habits die hard. 

Eddie Munson is the only person in this world who has ever really truly stolen my heart. And after all this time, he never really quite gave it back. 

We met when we were fifteen. We instantly became best friends. By the time senior year rolled around, he became my first love. My first everything, well, almost.  

Dating Eddie was one of the best and hardest things I’ve ever had to do. 

He taught me about music and cars and D&D. He taught me how to have the courage to be myself. Not just the person I become to please my parents. He taught me that it was okay to embrace my dark side.

And I’d like to think I taught him a thing or two as well. I taught him how to make a proper meal for one. Something quick and easy but still nutritious enough for anyone to make. Lord knows he needed it. But I also taught him how to dream. And how to embrace his light side.

We were different in a lot of ways. But we both could be our weird unhinged selves around each other. We understood each other in a way no one else did. 

It’s been 8 years and I still don’t think I’ve ever met anybody like him.

That’s the funny thing about small towns. When you’re in them, you feel like everyone is the same. Like we were all born and raised with the same resources and experiences to become the same. 

But when you go to the city and you start to meet all these unique people with exciting lives from wildly different backgrounds, you sometimes find that no one there could ever make you feel the way the people you grew up with did. 

Sometimes, if I let myself think about it, I wonder: Would my life be better off if I’d never met a person like Eddie again?

I haven’t quite figured out the answer. Perhaps it’s futile to even think about it. To even think about him. But I can’t help myself.

Even after all the time that has passed, there’s moments where I still relive that night. The memory won’t go away no matter how hard I try.

I should have known my parents would have never approved of us. But for years, I thought I could try. 

I tried dating in secret. I tried begging and pleading. I tried it all. But in the end, it still broke me. 

After all was said and done, the possibility of remaining friends with Eddie, even in secret, lingered in our minds, but then I inevitably left for college while he went on to repeat senior year, not once but twice and things between us were never the same since. 

Perhaps we were doomed from the start, but ours felt like a star-crossed love. It’s one I never regretted and one I’ve never forgotten. 

And despite it all, now as a single 26 year old woman, with an adult job, complete and total financial independence, still feels the need to hide him from my parents. 

Oh, the things you’ll do under your parents roof. 

I look back down at the paper and let my thumb run along its worn edges.

I probably shouldn't… Reach out to him that is. I need to be here for my family. I just need to get through this and get out of here. 

I keep repeating this mantra to myself as I unpack my things and spend some more time in my room before I will go downstairs and be faced with a barrage of questions like how’s work going or how’s life in the big city or why don’t you ever come and visit more often?

Surprisingly enough, the annoying questions are a nice distraction from the thoughts that would otherwise lead me back to Eddie.

Questions like:

How is he? 

What has he been doing all these years? 

Does he still live in Hawkins?

What is he like now?

I run through all the scenarios in my head like a computer generating a report of every possible outcome of a singular action. 

It’s sort of a guilty pleasure. I shouldn’t enjoy it, but I do. I might not have the ability to find out for myself, but imagining is close enough. 

But there’s one thing I wish I was imagining: just how much I miss him. I’m ashamed to admit it, but if I let myself, I miss him so much it hurts. 

He was one of the few saving graces I had while living in this old house. And he was my first love. You can never forget someone like that. 

Away, in the city, it’s easy to keep those feelings at bay. Over there, I’ve dated for a while. I even had a serious boyfriend for a while, but it’s been almost a year since we broke up. 

Who knows? Maybe I’m not actually feeling lonely or missing Eddie. Maybe I’m just caught up in the holiday blues or something. 

I just need to get through this and get out of here. By the new year, I’ll be back in the city and back to normal. 

“Y/N, can you go to the store? We’re missing a few things,” my mom calls out from the kitchen. 

At first I reluctantly agree, hating being ordered around, but then I realize it’ll give me an excuse to get out of this old house with far too many people in it. 

I drive the quick 5 minutes to the grocery store and grab items from the list and put them into the cart. 

A part of me wonders if I might run into Eddie. 

I used to have this game with myself where I would run up points every time I ran into someone I went to high school with while I was visiting Hawkins. It was always at the grocery store or Starcourt Mall where I would rack up the most points. 

I almost expect to, but when the cashier rings me up and I pack my bags into the trunk of my car, I feel oddly defeated at having a score of zero. 

All throughout the day, I keep wondering to myself, does he still work at the record store? Does he still drive that same shitty old van? Does he still play with his band at The Hideout? Does he still live with Uncle Wayne?

I stopped being in contact with Eddie midway through undergrad. After freshman year, I had changed. Eddie knew it and I knew it too, but we tried not to let it get in the way. 

By the summer between sophomore and junior year of college, while Eddie had just graduated with zero plan for after, we knew the distance between us was growing wider. I didn’t think it would be enough to change things between us, but it inevitably proved to be so.

As time grew on, it became harder to see him. We started fighting, which we never used to do. We started resenting each other. And to top it all off, I would see in him the parts of myself that I didn’t like. And then one day, just like this old house, it became unbearable to see him.

But now, something in me is curious. I want to see him and I don’t know why, so it ends up feeling like a bad thing for wanting to see him. I don’t know how wise it would be to open up that can of worms. 

But maybe I’ll need to because the thought of him keeps me up way into the night. For a second, I almost expect to hear rocks being thrown against my window and see him outside after having climbed onto the roof, waiting for me to let him in. 

But he knew how much anxiety that gave me. I always worried he would hurt himself doing that or even worse, that my parents would catch us. And yet, I still have a strange inexplicable hope that he would do it now, despite everything. 

***

In the morning, I wake up early. I hardly slept the whole night and when I woke up, I was tired but physically unable to fall back asleep. 

I go downstairs and think about starting a pot of coffee, but no one else is up. The silence in the house is deafening, so I decide to change into some workout clothes and go for a walk to clear my head.

The snow on the ground makes me smile. Despite the remnants of precipitation, the sun is out, coating my face with warmth.

I admire the decorative snowmen, Santa Clauses, reindeer, and presents adorning everyone's lawns. 

It almost makes me happy to be back. To have a real Hawkins Christmas again.

To be surrounded by my big family with all the food and drinks of the season. Watching Christmas movies together. Singing loudly and badly to Christmas music.

Eddie always acted annoyed by Christmas music. He claimed to hate how repetitive it was. But secretly, I know he had a soft spot for a few songs. There were a few he said his mom used to like. And by nature, our relationship required him to also be obsessed with Wham!’s rendition of Last Christmas.  

Last time I was in Hawkins for Christmas was probably 1988. Once I started law school, I couldn’t afford to go back home. 

By then, it was already a few Christmases without Eddie, but now it’ll be Christmas without my grandfather too. We always spent Christmas day at my grandparent’s house. With all my aunts, uncles, and cousins. 

What will it be like now?

Being away in the city, it's sort of easy to not think about it. Out of sight out of mind right? But here, you can feel his absence. Christmas feels different without him. 

But my parents insist that the rest of our Christmas traditions carry on.

When I get back to the old house, everyone’s awake. My mom is making breakfast and my dad is setting the table while my siblings fight over the tv. 

“Did you ever call Eddie back?” My mom asks after I offer to help her set the table. 

“What?” I angrily whisper. Why is she saying it so loudly? My dad or siblings could hear!

“Your siblings are making plans to hang out with some of their friends while they’re in town. You should too.”

“Mom, I’m here to spend time with you all. No one else.”

“I know, but it doesn’t mean you can’t take any time for yourself. You deserve to have fun. ”

I have to take a deep breath otherwise I’ll turn into a boiling pot of water threatening to spill. 

What?! Where is this coming from? How did, “Boys are just a distraction, we raised you better than this!” turn into, “Please go hang out with the ex-boyfriend we persecuted you for being with as a teenager, but it’s okay because now you deserve to have fun with him”?

My inner teenager wants to scream. How is any of this fair? Why the change in heart?

I take another deep breath in and find the right words to say. I remind myself that I’m supposed to be here for my family and that now is not the time to be starting a fight.

But something about being in this old house brings it all out of me. The anger and resentment that goes away anytime I’m away from Hawkins wants to erupt out of me anytime I am here. It’s almost physically painful how much the anger courses through me.

“Don’t worry about it, mom. I’m here for family, that’s all.”

I quietly eat breakfast with my family as they recount some of the stories told by my aunts and uncles yesterday. After breakfast we all get ready and head over to my grandma’s house. We have some more family coming into town before Christmas Eve tomorrow and promised we would help her clean and decorate. 

As we pile into the ancient station wagon and drive to my grandmother’s house, I feel like I’m in a time machine, being transported to a world that hasn’t moved on since 1984. 

That’s another thing about going back to your hometown. In the city, things are constantly changing and evolving, moving toward the future. But in a place like Hawkins, you’re simply stuck in the past.

We pull up the driveway to my grandma’s house. I recognize the car belonging to my aunt and uncle parked in front. I can already hear my cousins yelling and dishes clanging.

We disperse out of the car and walk toward the front door. We’re greeted by family and enter the warm home. 

Someone’s already started cooking because it smells delicious. Have they already started making the tamales? Maybe the bunuelos too. My mouth waters at the thought.

There’s boxes of decorations scattered throughout the living room and kitchen. There’s small children running about and voices chatting all around.

We greet and hug every person under the roof before my parents start assigning duties to everyone. 

I’m assigned outdoor cleanup and decorations with my brother and my cousin Alex. 

Alex is only two years older than me and the closest cousin in age to me, but his parents lived a few towns away from Hawkins growing up, so we never really spent much time together. They moved back to Hawkins a few years ago though, but I’ve been gone for the same amount of time, so he feels more like a long lost cousin in a way.

Regardless, I’m relieved to be outside. Despite the cold. I don’t have to deal with my aunt, mom, and sister on kitchen duty. I might even be able to sneak a cigarette too. The question is could I get away with it?

My parents would be ashamed of my bad habit. They constantly chastise my uncle for doing it. But God, do I need a good shame cigarette to take the edge off right now. The smell would give me away instantly and I’m not ready for that barrage of questions and concerns. But I’ll find a way later.

My brother and I head outside first. As we wait for Alex to finish something up inside, he instantly bombards me with questions about Eddie. 

Why does mom have to be such a blabbermouth? I mean, if anything, I would rather my younger siblings know than my mom, but not all of them. 

Oh god, does my dad know too? Does he want me to look into the matter further like mom? Or is he mad at Eddie like he was back then?

Agh, this is so stupid. I’m too old to be worrying like this!

And yet, I can’t stop. Partially, because my brother continues his poking and prodding and asking if I called him back. 

The only reason I feel obligated to satisfy his curiosity is because he and my sister know a decent amount of our relationship. After all, they are the ones that helped me hide it for as long as I did.

And they even liked Eddie. Not at first, but he really grew on them by the end. I figured if Eddie could never meet my parents, he could at least meet my siblings. 

At a certain point, my brother and sister, who I guess also now knows, urge me to call Eddie and argue they won’t quit nagging till I do. 

“I can’t. And besides we’re supposed to be here for Grandma and for Mom and Dad.”

“You’ve been there for them enough. And besides, being all grumpy and forlorn about Eddie isn’t exactly making you the most fun person to be around.”

I cringe internally. Is it that obvious?

“Just give him a call. I think grandma has a phone in her room.”

I eye him curiously. If I can’t rely on anyone I can at least rely on my siblings. But still, is this even a good idea?

“No, I’m not going to call. I don’t even know why he called in the first place.”

“Y/N that’s exactly why you should call him back. See what he has to say.”

“What if I don’t want to know?”

“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t call him.”

Now I know my siblings are truly growing up because my annoying baby brother has never had anything insightful to say like that before.

Surprisingly enough, his words ring in my head for a while. 

If I did decide to call Eddie, I couldn’t do it here. I’d be way too anxious for someone to walk in on me or press an ear to the door eavesdropping. Our family is notorious for nosiness. Nothing is ever a secret.

The thought weighs on me for a while longer. If I called Eddie, what would I even say? What would he say? Maybe just hearing his voice would be enough?

I stare at the trees in my grandma’s front yard. Many are losing their leaves and those with any leaves on them have become a faded yellow brown. I take a step onto the lawn and hear the fallen brown leaves crunching under my feet.

“Sorry for the wait, our dad’s kept arguing about whether or not to put up Frosty,” Alex says as he walks from the opened garage door with the 7 ft tall snowman figurine.

“He’s an icon! You have to put up Frosty, how is that even an argument,” I say playfully.

“That’s what I’m saying,” Alex agrees.

“Alex, please convince my sister that she should call her ex-boyfriend back.”

Alex quirks an eyebrow at my brother as my eyes bug out of my head and I smack him on the arm.

“Shut the fuck up!” I hiss and he laughs.

“Don’t worry about it Alex, he’s just joking.”

“I don’t think he was,” Alex teases.

I sigh in exasperation and run a palm along my face. 

“Forget about it. Let’s just put up this stupid snowman,” I grumble and walk toward the figurine.

“Ah, ah, ah,” my brother shakes his head and steps in. “Let the men carry it.”

I roll my eyes at the comment. My brother knows I’m perfectly capable of helping, but I guess I’ll let misogyny work in my favor today and avoid having to lift a finger.

But mainly, I let it slide because I know he doesn’t say it in a demeaning way. Alex is one of our few male cousins and growing up in a house full of sisters, I know he’s started to see Alex like the brother he never had.

We move on to rake the leaves and set up some other decorations, but at a certain point when it’s just me and Alex, he presses me on the subject.

“So what’s this about calling your ex?” Alex says in amusement 

“It’s nothing,” I shrug. Not only do I not want my parents or siblings to worry about this, I don’t want anyone else to even know about this.

“It’s not just nothing, Y/N’s been all moody and depressed because of him,” my brother barges in from the garage.

“I am not moody and depressed.”

“Tell that to the Black Sabbath you were playing in your room last night. I could hear it all the way down the hall. You only ever play that stuff when you’re sad.”

I glare daggers at my brother as Alex laughs in front of us.

“So what’s got you all worked up Y/N,” Alex asks in a jovial tone.

“It’s honestly nothing. Everyone’s just overreacting.”

“Y/N, Eddie called the house phone. That’s major”

“Shh, someone could hear you.”

“Like Eddie,” my brother goofily teases.

“No, like mom and dad or grandma or anyone else in that house.”

“Y/N you already know it’s loud as hell in there. They’re not gonna hear shit outside,” Alex says jovially.

I reluctantly shrug.

“And besides, Eddie’s dying to hear from you. He won’t shut up about it,” Alex offhandedly comments

I drop what’s in my hand and glare at him. “What?”

Alex shrugs, “What?”

“What did you just say,” I ask, squinting my eyes at him.

“Eddie won’t shut–”

I shake my head. “No, I know. I meant, you know Eddie? How? I mean I know this town is small and all–”

“Y/N Hawkins is small but it's not that small. You know that. And yeah I know Eddie. We work together.”

“Eddie… You work… with Eddie?”

“Yeah at the garage. He started around the same time I did.”

I knew Alex started working at one of the mechanic shops in town when they moved to Hawkins but genuinely didn’t think much of it.

“No fucking way,” I whisper. 

I start blinking and zoning out, imagining Eddie working as a mechanic. 

Eddie’s a mechanic? How does he like it? Does he wear those blue coveralls? Does he ever get grease on his forehead? Does he–

“Y/N!” someone calls out my name and I look up.

“Earth to Y/N,” Alex amusedly says and waves a hand in front of my face.

“I can’t believe you work with my–”

Ex-boyfriend? Ex-best friend? Ex-love of my life? 

“Believe me, I was surprised to find out too. I love that kid. I almost thought I was hallucinating when I learned that you, the one who brought textbooks to Thanksgiving or always wanted to see the new Star Wars movie, could pull a guy like him. Or that a metal ass guy like him could pull a dorky chick like you. But anyways, I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out between the two of you. He talks about you sometimes, and I can tell you meant a lot to him.”

I’m floored. I don’t even know what to say. Somehow I’ve just received an ego boost and depressing information all in one go.

“Um thanks. I just,” I turn over my shoulder and make sure it’s just us, “Please don’t bring it up in front of my parents.”

“Your parents? Why would they care?”

“Because when mom and dad found out they were dating, they practically ran Eddie out of town.” My brother answers for me.

I run a hand over my face. 

“Damn girl, sneaking off with the bad boy huh? I never would have guessed.”

I laugh at the ridiculousness of his statement. Before I can even respond, my mom jumps out of the front door with a piece of paper in her hands. “Kids, I need you to go to the store and pick up a few things. We’re already running out of ingredients. Alex, your dad said to take his car.”

My brother and Alex look at each other deviously. “No worries, we’ll be right back.”

Alex grabs the paper and keys my mom hands him and he smirks right past me. 

“What’s going on?” I ask as I follow him and my brother to the car. My brother’s making a beeline to the passenger seat but I beat him to the punch. 

“Oldest siblings sit in the front,” I declare. He flips me off but I ignore it.

Alex turns on the ignition and pulls out of the neighborhood.

“They have a payphone at the grocery store right?” Alex asks as we’re already in motion, only a few minutes away.

“Why yes Alex I think they do,” my brother theatrically responds.

“And lookie here, a whole sleeve of quarters in the center console, just for you Y/N,” Alex sarcastically says.

“Knock it off,” I swat at his arm. “And focus on the road.”

“No need to worry cousin. It’s not like we get any of that big city traffic in our tiny cow town of Hawkins.”

I roll my eyes. The few times I have seen Alex at family gatherings, he always teases me for looking down on Hawkins, but if he ever made it out of here, he would totally understand.

“I’m not doing it,” I say confidently as Alex finds a spot in the parking lot. 

“You so are,” Alex and my brother say in unison.

“And what if I don’t,” I cross my arms and huff as he puts the gear in park.

“Y/N we’re calling him.”

“I don’t even have his number,” I lie. It’s a different number than the one he had at Wayne’s though. I guess 552-6739 is just Wayne’s number now.

“Yes you do, mom gave it to you.”

“I lost it.”

“Doesn’t matter, I have it memorized,” Alex says as he unbuckles his seat belt and opens the car door.

My brother and I follow suit. We join him as he walks briskly toward the store entrance. I try to focus on the person jingling a bell in a Santa suit by the entrance. Or the smell of fresh balsam Christmas trees and cinnamon scented pine cones by the main doors to distract from the anxiety building up in my stomach.

“But we’re here to pick up the ingredients our moms need to–”

Alex stops in his tracks and turns toward me. “Y/N, stop making excuses. Obviously we’re gonna get the things they need. But we also have time to make a quick phone call. If you don’t do this now, when will you?”

I jerk my head back in shock. I’ve never seen this side of Alex. And I hate to admit it, but he’s right. 

If, for some reason, I actually did go forth with the idea of calling Eddie, I would probably try to do it in a private place away from my family. And wait till the dead of night when everyone’s asleep. But by that point, would I even have the gall to go through with it?

Right now is probably the only time I'll actually be able to call him the way I want to. TThe opportunity has presented itself, but will I be brave enough to take it?

“Alex, I-I don’t know if I can do this.”

Alex marches up to the payphone by the store’s entrance and looks at me. “Look, I only say this because I know you and I know Eddie. You’re both good people and you’re both obviously still stuck on this. I’m not saying a single phone call will solve all your problems but it’s not gonna kill you either.”

“What if it does?” I nervously and jokingly ask.

“Maybe you should’ve tried being an actor instead of a lawyer. Living in the city long enough has made you so dramatic.”

“Fuck off,” I sneer. I look at the phone booth before me and gulp.

“Just see what he has to say. Then you can decide whether or not it’s worth a second chance.”

I nod. A second chance at what exactly? I don’t know. But I guess I’m about to find out. I pull the small folded up piece of paper out of my pocket. I unravel it to see Eddie’s name and phone number. I can feel Alex and my brother smiling at each other.

“Shut up,” I grumble.

“Didn’t even say anything,” Alex replies. I can hear him stifling a laugh in his voice.

I take a deep breath and let my fingers hover over the keypad. It’s just a phone call. It’s not an end all be all anything. Just one simple–

“Just dial the damn number,” my brother and Alex yell in unison. 

I shudder and nervously laugh. I slowly press my fingers to the keypad and dial. I breathe in deeply.

The phone rings for a few seconds, making my heart race faster and faster till I hear a sleepy voice say, “Hello?”

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

“E-Eddie.” I choke. “I-It’s me.”

And then he says my name. My heart melts instantly. It’s been years since I’ve heard a sound so sweet. Shamefully enough, I can feel a tear forming in my eye.

“Yeah.”

“Hey sweetheart, how are you?”

How am I? Edward Munson, why the hell did you call me after all these years?

“I-I’m good,” I nervously look to Alex before facing the payphone again. “I’m in town a-and, my mom told me you called?”

“Oh yeah. Even after all these years, I nearly shit my pants when I heard her voice.”

I laugh because I can only imagine. Eddie’s not afraid of anyone, but after what went down when my parents caught us, I guess I wasn’t the only one who got spooked for a lifetime.

“But uh, your cousin told me you were gonna be home for the holidays.”

“So I’ve heard. Alex here didn’t even have the heart to tell me he knew you. Only in Hawkins though, I guess. I’m sorry you have to work with your ex’s cousin.”

“Don’t be. Alex is a cool dude who’s like the big brother I never had. It just so happens he’s related to the girl who stole my heart way back when.”

I muster half a chuckle. He talks just like he used to, but there’s a newfound maturity in his words I’m surprised to find.

I also smile at the fact that my cousin has been that kind of person for Eddie. Initially, it weirded me out that they were friends, but I know Eddie always wished he’d had an older brother. He wanted it so bad he became that for the younger boys at Hawkins High. I’m glad he has Alex in his life.

“I know you don’t come to town that often and I wanted to see you.”

“What? See me?”

“Yeah, a couple of us are gonna go out tonight. There’s a big Christmas thing going on at the Hideout–”

“The Hideout?! God, I haven’t heard that name in years.”

Eddie chuckles. “Alright hot shot.”

“Are you still playing?”

He pauses for a moment, before he says with confidence dripping in his voice, “Come see for yourself.”

I find myself smiling at the ground, like an idiot. It’s like no time has passed between us at all. Like none of those bad things ever happened. But they did. Things are supposed to be weird between us. Why is it so easy to talk to him on the phone like this? Like it was just yesterday that he cycled by and began all my dreams.

“Um,” I bite my lip, “I don’t know. My family’s been really busy prepping for the holidays. Lots to decorate and cook and all that stuff. You know?”

“Oh,” He clears his throat, “Yeah, totally. But, um, if you change your mind, it’s tonight at 9:00. Alex said he was coming so maybe you could join him.”

I rapidly turn around to glare at Alex but he and my brother are nowhere to be seen. 

“What the fuck,” I mutter.

“What?” Eddie asks.

“Oh, nothing. Um, you were saying?”

“Oh, um, yeah just that we’ll be at the Hideout at 9:00 tonight. They have this whole ugly Christmas sweater contest thing going on and themed drinks. They really go the whole nine yards around the holidays.”

“Oh, that’s um, kinda cool. A bit surprising for the alleged shithole you used to call it.”

“It’s gotten better over the years,” Eddie replies nonchalantly, but I can hear the subtle nervousness in his voice.

“I see,” I respond. I don’t mean to sound so cold, but he’s really putting me on the spot here.

“Yeah, some of my friends’ll be there too. One is in town from New York, just like you.”

“Oh,” I say.

“It’ll be fun. I, uh, I really hope you can come.”

“I, um, I’ll see.” Is all I can manage to say.

“Sure thing. I, uh, I guess I’ll let you go now.”

“Oh,” I say, rather dejectedly. “Um, okay.”

“Goodbye Y/N,” he says.

“Bye,” I whisper as I slowly go to hang up the phone.

I’m stuck inside my head for a moment, replaying what just happened. But when realization hits me that Alex, my cousin, is the key to my way back in with Eddie, I eagerly zip through the store trying to find him.

[sozzledjuja]

Let's talk about the "Iris killed Mephisto" situation

With season 3’s possible (and hopeful) arrival, I thought this post might be necessary.  I’ve been going through a lot of old lolirock posts, and the amount of people that seem thoroughly convinced that Iris was responsible for Mephisto’s death is absolutely astounding. Like, have we watched the same scene? You could attribute her a small fraction of the blame, sure. But all of it? It seems to me like some of yall (in a very Praxina fashion, may I add) just want someone convenient to blame. 

Like, I’m all in favor of the “Iris killed Mephisto” jokes, like, keep making them, I love them. But… it should stay that way… a joke. Because some people seem to have taken it quite literally. 

I think I’ve read something similar somewhere before but, Mephisto’s death was not only one person’s fault. That was the point. It was a combination of variables that all ended up going tremendously wrong for the twins, BUT, one in which NONE of the characters involved had any intention of contributing to. 

You wanna blame people? Sure, you could blame Iris. She was the one that allegedly couldn’t control her Shanilla form. She was the one who sent the blast that, when collided with Gramorr’s own energy force, hit and shattered the big, shiny, and mildly explosive rock, that was going to fall onto Praxina, before Mephisto yeeted her away like a ragdoll and took on the blast himself. Wow. Does that not sound far fetched and awfully convoluted? Yeah, because it is. If anything, you could say that Iris indirectly and totally unintentionally contributed to Mephisto’s death. 

And you know what? While we’re on the subject of blaming, why not blame Gramorr? He was the one who started this whole mess for everyone. He is the reason that battle was even happening in the first place. The energy Iris sent collided with HIS magic, causing the blast, so, logically speaking, he should also be blamed, right? Did he mean to “kill” Mephisto? No. Though if I’m being totally honest, he probably wouldn’t have cared either way, but still. I’m not sure he even noticed that was even happening. But it also wasn’t his intention. 

Oh, do you wanna blame someone else? Great! How ‘bout we blame Praxina herself? If she had just left with Mephisto, like he wanted, instead of “wanting to watch” (what the heck was that about anyways? babygirl, i love you but TF?!), they wouldn’t have been anywhere near the blast when it happened. And then, to save her from her own recklessness, Mephisto was the one who got screwed. 

Heck, we can even blame Mephisto himself. He was the one who decided to jump in front of his sister to save her, wasn’t he? No one made him do it. 

See? We can blame pretty much everyone. OR we could rip the page we took from Praxina’s blame book, crumple it into a ball, rip it to shreds, and throw it off of a bridge. No good comes from trying to find a non-existent scapegoat, and that’s something that some of you, AND Praxina alike, are going to have to learn at some point. Sometimes things aren’t just black and white. There are shades of gray (this is so cliché, but it’s true).

But let’s backpedal, shall we? Imagine Iris was actually the one who undoubtedly, yet accidentally killed Mephisto. I’m gonna ask the real question now. Why should she care? I love the twins more than anything else, obviously, they are my favorite characters in the show, and I feel awful about what happened to them. But they’re not exactly saints. I’m not even going to list all the awful things they did to the princesses, and Iris specifically, because we'd be here forever. But I’ll use Princess Brenda as an example. You know, the episode where Mephisto and Praxina basically “killed” all of Iris’s friends, AND the love of her life, just… because. And they did all that, 1) on purpose; and 2) did not feel bad about it in the slightest, and even gloated about it. Like, they were thrilled. So how exactly is this any different? If anything, it’s way worse. Iris indirectly and completely unintentionally killed Mephisto (as stated above), with lots of other people to be blamed for it as well, AND, she even apologized to Praxina, and said she felt sorry about her loss. She obviously didn’t feel good about it.

What I think screwed her over with certain members of the fandom was the “But you can’t blame me for it.” line. Because maybe I don’t know, YOU CAN’T. Also, what was she supposed to do? She knew it wasn’t fully her fault, as she fucking should. So should she just drop to the ground and cry her eyeballs out, and mourn the loss of her enemy who had consistently made her life a living hell for god knows how long? Like, are some of y’all mental? And it’s fucking hypocritical of Praxina to expect anything more than that from Iris as well, considering everything they've done to her (but, then again, Praxina IS a hypocrite, not a single surprise there).

At the end of the day, neither Iris, nor any of the other princesses owed Mephisto (or Praxina) anything. They didn’t owe him their grief, their mourning, they didn't owe him shit. Because, guess what? A lot of yall aren’t prepared to hear this but. Mephisto enjoyed screwing with the princesses' lives just as much as Praxina. No consideration whatsoever about anyone they had to trick, backstab or hurt. Yeah, Gramorr was making them do it. But they sure as hell were having a blast through it all. In fact, only near the end, when Gramorr was yapping about planetary enslavement or whatever, did Mephisto actually start to kinda realize the gravity of the situation (while Praxina was still on cloud fucking nine). Which- props to him, I guess. I think he was realizing that all of that wasn’t just some big elaborate joke. I think I’ve made a meme of this in the past like, “Wait. You guys are actually evil? I thought it was a joke.”, and this basically perfectly sums up what I think was going through his brain at that moment. That’s why he was so apprehensive till the very end. That, and also the fact that he was then starting to realize that him and Praxina were not any different from Lev, or Jodan, or any of the other minions Gramorr lied to and exploited, to do his dirty bidding for him. They, too, had been expendable, tricked into devoting their entire lives to someone who filled their heads to the brim with nonsense and empty promises of grandeur, when, in reality, he wasn’t actually planning on following through with anything. Why would he? After all, they were just cheap, stupid merchandise.

Still, none of that removes the fact that both Mephisto and Praxina were bad people. Yes, they were kids, so there was obviously room for growth if put in the correct environment, but nonetheless. And I agree with people when they say that Mephisto had more good in him than Praxina, but that still doesn’t make him a good person. The problem is that people like to babify him, and that kind of takes away all the complexity that makes his character so beautiful.

You can love a character and believe they deserved better, while also holding them accountable for their actions and acknowledging they weren’t perfect. 

This is going to sound insensitive as hell but the twins made their bed. Now they have to lay in it (well, Praxina has. Mephisto… well, he can't really lay on anything, can he?- because he is- ya know- dead, but… whatevs). 

Iris could’ve even not shown a single ounce of sadness for what happened to Mephisto and she still would’ve been well within her right to do so. Of course, she is objectively “good” so the expectations for her to do “good” are much higher than the bad guys. The villains are “objectively bad” so whenever they do something only slightly itty bitty nice they’re immediately reduced to “misunderstood” or “poor babies omg uwu” or “they didn’t do anything wrong ever”. Because for them the bar is on the floor, the expectations are low, they don’t need to do anything. For christ sake, let the protagonists make mistakes, allow them to not be perfect, to have dimension. Y’all can’t handle it, can you? Either Iris is a bitch for “killing” poor wittle baby Mephisto or she’s a, quote on quote, “Mary Sue”. Like, pick a lane and leave female characters alone. Let them be complex, let them lose their marbles, let them make mistakes and learn from them. This goes for Iris, but for Praxina too. 

She’s gonna fuck up a lot in season 3, we all know it. She’s gonna do unspeakable things, and I fully believe that, at some point, she might even get past the point of no return. Because she’s human too. Because, right now, she’s all alone without the one person that was always there for her, and that she always took for granted. This doesn’t have much to do with the original point of this post, maybe I’ll elaborate on this later, but I think that one of the main conflicts that Praxina is going to deal with this season is GUILT. The guilt of knowing you didn’t appreciate someone enough while they were there, that you took them for granted. She’s gonna think back to all the times she yelled at or hurt Mephisto (yes, most of that was your usual sibling stuff, but she did take it too far sometimes), and that’s gonna fucking break her. You just know she’s going to have those memories replaying over and over again in her head 24/7. And that’s gonna fuck her up badly. 

She’s still a bad person, but she has layers. She is a complex human being, always, but now more so than ever, and y’all better keep that in mind (also, please please please @teamlolirock, you have the opportunity to do something great with this, maybe even something a little darker to get different audiences for the show as well, and peak the interest of people that aren’t all that familiar with the show yet, please do not waste it, DO NOT squander this potential). 

Also, might I add, I loved how in character for her it was that she immediately blamed Iris for the whole Mephisto thing. Like, if there’s something Praxina has never done during this whole show, was take the blame for anything. That’s her Achilles’s heel, one of her biggest fatal flaws (that and her ongoing hypocrisy. pride too), and of course this situation would only exacerbate it. Well played, @teamlolirock, well played. Here, take my hat. 

Anyways, Banes is the true bitch, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he turned out to be the big bad boss, and I don’t see people discussing it enough (I might make a post on this too when I have the time). 

With that being said, if you’ve read this far, thank you, and I’d like to know your thoughts. If there’s anything this fandom is missing is some good old’ character and world building dissection. Have a good one.

XOXO

[damn-stark]

Ch.6 Smile with my heart

Chapter 6 of Strange

A/N- :)

Warning- LONG CHAPTER, swearing, mentions of drugs, angst

Pairing- Steve Harrington x Hopper!fem-reader

Episode- After season 2 & Before season 3

(Let me know if you wanna be tagged)

————

“Hello?”

One more coat.

You get closer to the mirror and partially close your eyes to carefully apply another coat of mascara so as to not stain your eyeshadow whilst you jam out to ‘Time of the Season’ by The Zombies, blasting in your headphones.

“Hello?!”

You pull away and admire yourself in the mirror and finally feel confident enough in the bathroom to begin dancing along to the music. That is until you manage to hear someone pounding on the door, after that you put your stuff away and open the door to see Hopper standing in front of the bathroom door.

“Why are you hogging up the—hey! Hey! What the hell are you wearing?!” He complains as you walk out. However, you don’t catch anything he says since your music is playing too loud. “Are you listening to me?! What are you wearing?!”

You try to grab a coat from your room, but while you walk towards the room you stop the moment you catch Eleven and Mike all giggly with each other as they press small kisses on each other. It’s disgusting.

Since Hopper was chasing after you to get an answer from you, he caught the couple and slammed the door open. “Hey! Stay apart!” He then continues to storm after you while you go to where he keeps his coats to grab a denim one with a black fur collar, even if it is baggy on you.

While you’re putting the coat on the song changes to ‘Big Love’ by Fleetwood Mac, and you only turn up the volume higher.

However, right as you turn around, you bump into Hopper, and he makes sure to pull off your headphones so you could finally hear him. “I’ve been talking to you!” He seethes and stands his ground right in front of you. “What the hell are you wearing?!”

“Oh,” you breathe out. “You have? I didn’t hear you.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs and throws you your headphones to your waiting hands. “I wonder why. You’re going to go deaf!”

You roll your eyes and try to walk off but he pulls you back and demands an answer for his question. “What are you wearing?”

You look down at your mini tight black dress, and the black sheer tights you wore on your legs under the dress. “A dress?” You clarify in a way that made it seem like he didn’t know.

Hopper steps back and wipes his mouth out of the disbelief he felt upon you saying that in his face as if it was nothing wrong. When it was to him. “That’s not a dress. That’s hardly fabric.”

You drop your shoulders and scoff. “No, it’s a dress, it’s in style right now. And I’m wearing tights. And your coat by the way. Mom let me wear it.”

Hopper scoffs and nods slowly but doesn’t give up. “Your mom. Your mom would! I’m not your mom, go change into something decent.”

You cross your arms over your chest and huff and stand your own ground. “No. Steve invited me to his celebration dinner. I don't want to wear jeans to a restaurant. Besides,” you whisper as if your friend was here. “His parents are loaded, and he says his dad is mean so I’m too insecure to wear my clothes.”

Hopper’s jaw is left ajar as he thinks of what you told him, and instead of answering with anything logical he chooses to comment on something else. “Steve and you aren’t dating? Why should you go? Just go to the ceremony with a decent outfit and come back.”

You scoff and step back as if offended by his comment. “No, we’re not dating, but he’s my friend. We’re best friends, he wants me to go, I can't just leave him hanging.” You walk past him to grab your purse and the gift bag, hearing Hopper walk after you.

“No. Wear something else.”

You huff and roll your eyes, but continue to head out the door with his keys in hand. “No. I’ll keep your coat on the entire time, promise!”

Hopper follows you and finally gives in, only because he was trying to not get in a fight with you. “Fine,” he groans, “but,” he makes himself clear whilst you throw him his keys. “The coat stays on the entire time! You hear me? If I smell alcohol on you I will forbid you from seeing Harrington again, got it?”

You don’t take his warning too seriously, but you agree before you put your headphones on so you could get going to the ceremony before you’re late.

——

“Okay, thanks,” you tell Hopper while you slide off the seat. “I’ll see you later.”

Before you can close the door, Hopper leans towards the passenger seat to tell you one last thing. “Y/N, I wanted to ask if you wanted to have dinner with me, I want to talk to you. I want to talk about…things.”

You step back and swallow thickly; it’s been a few months since Eleven closed the gate, since then Hopper and you have yet to talk, you are still at odds with him, you can’t really talk to him, or get along with him, you still feel resentment.

“I uh,” you mumble, unable to meet his eyes. “Okay. Sure. When?”

“Tomorrow?” He asks with hope.

You let your eyes meet his for a second to offer him a quick nod.

Hopper smiles and nods himself.

Now you’re able to close the car door and rush away from the parking lot to rush towards the field where the ceremony was taking place, and where Dustin was supposed to be at already to save you a seat.

At first though, it was way too crowded since other people wanted to find seats that it made it hard to walk without getting pushed. You only managed to pave your way through because you began shoving people too, it made finding Dustin a relief.

“Hey! Dustin!” You call as you rush to where he’s at.

Said boy stands up and waves with a grin on his face. “Y/N! You made it!”

“Yeah,” you sigh and sit down beside him. “Barely. There’s so many people it was impossible to fucking walk.”

“Well you made it, here.” He hands you a confetti popper.

You take it and shove it in your pocket before placing your stuff down to sit back as the ceremony starts.

“You pop it when we meet up, you understand?” Dustin tells you. “When we meet up, not a moment before or after.”

“Yeah,” you scoff. “I understand.”

Since the first half of the ceremony is just talking and filled with a copied speech from the valedictorian, Dustin and you hardly listen to any of it. Even as the first part of the students began walking up on stage your attention was still wavered, so you sat back and observed, you thought back to what Hopper told you after you got out of his car; The possibility of how that conversation could go.

You wanted things to get fixed, you told Eleven you would try, you told yourself you’d try as well. But you still had your doubts, you still could hear what your mother would tell you about him, you still felt your own resentment burn fiercely in your own heart.

Of course talking would extinguish that but, could a talk solve years of neglect?

“He’s coming up,” Dustin says, pulling you from deep within your thoughts. “He’s coming up!”

You stand up and for now let all your thoughts of Hopper just get pushed to the far depths of your mind for now, you instead grin brightly as you spot Steve waiting by the stairs for his name to be called.

“Steve Harrington.” The man calls through the microphone, causing you to jump out of pure bliss, clap as loud as you could and let out a loud whoop so he could hear you; whilst Dustin clapped and then whistled as loud as he could. And other students did clap too even if you were all told to save it for the end, but even through their claps Steve’s attention was still captivated by Dustin and you, he paused in his step for a little after he grabbed his diploma and smiled and waved in your direction before he walked away and his figure got lost in the sea of other students.

After that, the rest of the ceremony hardly mattered and didn’t last long, but there was one problem, you did get separated from Dustin on your way to find Steve.

“Oh just my fucking luck,” you grumble and swerve your way through the crowd with fustration beginning to bubble within you.

You looked up from the ground and scanned the faces of students to see if you could Steve, but before you could make it further albeit you ran into someone else also amongst the crowd of students and parents, Billy. He made sure you didn’t get past him.

“Hello, gorgeous,” he greets you smugly as he licks his lips and checks you out slowly.

You bite the inside of your cheek and offer him a small smile and a simple greeting. “Billy.” You exhale deeply and keep searching for Steve.

“What are you doing here?” He asks and places a cigarette in between his lips while he tries to hold your gaze.

“I’m here for Steve,” you tell him bluntly. “You?” You finally meet his gaze, noticing how his pupils were suddenly dilated as he kept looking at you.

“I’m here for no one important,” he shares with no remorse and steps closer towards you, making you hold your breath and step back.

“I thought we weren’t talking anymore,” you nervously share and exhale shakily in hope he’d leave you alone, even if his cologne smelled so good that you didn’t want him to leave so you could keep smelling it. “I mean, you know, needle?”

Billy scoffs and his smirk doesn’t falter. “Forgotten.” He steps closer towards you and this time you have to stay put since someone was behind you. “There’s a party later at Robert Duran’s place, come, we could…” he licks his lips and leans his head towards you to whisper against your lips. “Pick up where we left off.” He slowly grins and checks you out again.

“Leave the trash where it belongs.” He refers to Steve.

The corner of your lips twitch, but you manage to snicker and put on a feigned smile to lean closer to him this time. “I’ll see.” You step back and shoot him a sweet smile before you walk off towards Steve who is now close by.

“Steve!” You call out with excitement as you run towards him. “Steve!”

At the sound of his name, his head turns in your direction and when he finally spots you he doesn’t fail to grin all smugly. Once you’re in the clear you drop the gift bag and capture him in a tight embrace.

Now you were going to pull away right away so it didn’t feel weird to him, but he then hugged you back tightly. It made your smile widen and your grip tighten; his arms secured around you felt comforting.

It was a bummer that you needed to pull away.

“You came,” Steve says while he holds your shoulders and his eyes slowly travel down your body. “Y-you made it!”

Your eyebrows furrow slightly at his comment but you laugh and hold onto his biceps, “yeah. I mean why would I miss it? You’re my friend and you graduated! You made it! You beat the odds!”

Steve grins at you and nods. “I beat the odds!”

You then remember what you had in your pocket and pull away from him completely to pull out the confetti popper and pop it in his face with a sly grin. “I’m proud of you Steve!”

“Late,” Dustin complains beside Steve. “You’re late!”

Steve blows air out to blow away the small confetti paper that fell down his face—“that got in my hair,” he complains.

Your eyes drift to him and then up to the one singular piece in his hair and you scoff. “One,” you point out and step towards him to pull it out of his hair. “One little piece.”

Steve’s eyes meet yours and he lifts his eyebrows and shrugs before he remarks. “It could have ruined my hair. I take precious time fixing it, you know.” He lets his eyes linger on you as you both don’t move away from one another.

You narrow your gaze on him and snort before sharing a look with Dustin and talking to him. “How long do you think he lasts in front of the mirror?”

“An hour,” Dustin laughs. “I think it takes him an entire hour.”

Steve steps back and sighs. “Wow, okay, I see how it is. It’s okay neither of you appreciate the hair.”

You walk back and pick your stuff off the ground and then shoot him a small teasing smile. “I appreciate it, I do, it’s just harmless fun, Stevie.”

Steve rolls his eyes and he’s going to add something witty but he then goes slightly serious when his parents finally find him. It gets awkward too, not only for Dustin and you but for Steve too, especially when his dad congratulated him.

“Well, mom, dad, these…” Steve begins to hesitate when he glances at Dustin. “…are my friends Dustin Henderson;” he looks over at you next, ignoring the offended look Dustin shoots him. “And this is Y/N Hopper.”

You smile at both of them and shake their hands whilst you also try to read the serious look Steve’s dad has expressed on his face.

“The chief’s daughter, huh?” His dad says. “I never knew he had an older girl.” He folds his arms over his chest.

“Yeah,” you scoff, “I can imagine why he kept me a secret.”

“Well,” Steve’s mother says with a sweet smile. “It’s nice to meet you y/n. It’s good that the chief isn’t alone.”

You draw in a deep breath and feign a smile to nod in agreement. Steve reads your discomfort and changes the conversation before his parents could ask more. “Well we should go now.” He begins walking ahead and Dustin and you follow at his side, but his mom interjects all of a sudden.

“Wait! Steve let me take a picture of you and your friends.”

Steve stops and sighs, he drops his head and seems to want to reject her but he turns slowly to face his mother. “Just one.”

His mother smiles and lifts her camera to turn it on and point at Steve. “Okay, y/n, Dustin stand by Steve,” she instructs.

Instead of posing right away you back away and shake your head with a shy smile. “No, it’s okay. If—”

“Shut up,” Steve cuts you off and walks to you to throw his arm around you, whilst Dustin stood by his other side with a toothy grin—“Smile,” Steve tells you and his hand around you tightens.

You glance at him and then look at the camera to smile sweetly right as his mom takes the picture and comments, “perfect! One more?”

Neither of you turn her down since Steve sees it makes her happy, but in that moment Dustin did glance at Steve and you and decided to discreetly step away so it would just be you and Steve grinning at the camera one last time.

——

Dinner.

There wasn’t much to say about dinner, just that Dustin didn’t end up joining. You couldn’t say it was much fun either, at all, the one person who made it worth staying was Steve, but even he seemed like he’d rather be somewhere else.

“So tell me y/n where were you before Hawkins?” Steve’s mother asks.

You shift in your seat and sigh, but you don’t think much of the memories that came with the question. “Uh, I was in Oregon, by the coast. Being here is uh, a real change,”

Steve snickers, “yeah, I mean how’s the sun feeling? I mean I hear that doesn’t exist over there.”

You tilt your head and set your fork down to feign a laugh, “ha! Yeah, yeah we don’t get a lot of sun over there, but I do miss the constant rain.”

Steve clears his throat and his eyes drift to his mom. “Y/N, here cliffs jump, I mean,” he looks back at you with a small smile. “How the hell do you do that? I can’t wrap my mind around it.”

You lean towards him and smile. “Yeah, it’s hard because the water there is cold, but it’s worth it, and we don’t jump from too high, it is such a rush though! We’ll have to do it. I mean you should come visit Oregon with me some time.”

“You know,” Steve says and folds his arms over his chest. “I'd rather keep my insides, you know inside, thank you.”

“I mean there are like baby cliffs,” you assure him with a teasing grin. “Where you know kids jump from. You can jump from those, they’re like,” you measure the height with your hand. “An inch or two from the water. Or I can hold your hand Stevie.”

Steve’s head tilts and he shoots you a forced smile while he nods his head and says, “yeah. Yeah alright. Hopper you know you can’t even drive so.”

You fix your posture and narrow your gaze. “I think that one is a little too far.”

“Yeah,” Steve breathes out. “Sorry.”

“I think Steve should be worried about what he’s going to do with the rest of his life,” his father cuts off your lighthearted conversation.

Steve’s smile falls completely and he grabs his fork again to continue eating and keep his gaze focused on his food with his jaw clenched.

“You, y/n, do you have any plans?” He now directs at you.

You also pick up your fork and play with your food though. “I have ideas,” you answer, “I graduate next year so I have time, but I do have a college picked out. If that doesn’t work out I like the idea of maybe something to do with the law.” You glance at him and share a tightlipped smile, earning a small nod but causing Steve to earn a glare and another snide comment.

“Maybe Steve can learn from you.”

Said man sighs and just swallows thickly, choosing to stay quiet instead of talking back.

You however answer for him. “I think that what Steve is doing is a good idea too. I mean he’s young, life when you’re young is about the unknown, or that’s what my aunt says.” You smile genuinely and keep your gaze focused on his parents, missing the admiration Steve was looking at you with as you defended him against his dad. “Steve will get to experience other things some adults never get to do in their entire lives. He'll navigate life, gain experiences and choose what he wants when he finds it. I think that’s smart too, we wouldn’t want him to regret his major or career right?

You finally glance over at Steve, and notice that he’s already looking at you but you can’t think too much into it, no matter how soft his look was—it was just a look of gratitude, the same gratitude he expressed when he mouthed “thank you.”.

Even if that look, the way his brown eyes gleamed at this moment after hearing such dull talks from his father made your heart swell, smile.

“That’s nice, y/n.” Steve’s mother said, breaking Steve and you from your lingering stare.

You look over at her and smile, noticing his father just huffed and continued eating without anything else to add, leaving an awkward atmosphere clinging around the table.

*LATER*

“Now that we’re alone I do finally want to give you your present,” you reveal to Steve as you walk down the sidewalk to his car with ice cream cups in your hands. “I didn't want to give it to you before because well it’s not that big of a deal.” Your eyes drift to the side as you push the gift bag towards him. “Congratulations, Steve.” You smile.

Steve glances at it for a second before he meets your eyes and brushes his hair back with his fingers to then take the present from you. He then proceeds to stop first to hand you his cup when you stop before him to watch him slowly open the present with a faint smile on his lips.

“Look, Hopper, I’ll tell ya, if you try to, I don’t know upstage me, we’re gonna have problems.” He says with a nervous laugh as he removes the tissue paper from the bag.

You scoff and grin. “I can’t possibly do that if you haven’t gifted me anything.”

Steve pauses before he could reach the present and his eyes drift up to you as he licks his lips and huffs out through his nose. “Yeah, what about that awesome mixtape?”

“Not a gift. It’s like a gesture, because we’re friends. You said you would too so it doesn’t count.” You tell him, making him put his hand on his hip and bore his eyes into yours.

“Not a gift? I took hours doing that, it’s a gift.” He shakes his head and focuses back on getting the present out of the bag. And when he does and realizes how small and squared it is his eyes flicker to you and he whispers. “If this is some prank, I swear—”

He suddenly cuts himself off and he drops the bag while his jaw drops and his eyes snap back to you when he finally sees what the box contained. All you could respond with is a cheeky smile.

“Uh,” he breathes out softly and keeps looking between the watch and you. “What is this?”

“A watch,” you click your tongue as if it wasn’t obvious. “You see the little hands, the numbers—”

“It was a rhetorical question,” he snaps back and takes the watch out of the box to check out the dark brown leather band, and the gold detailing. “This looks expensive, how much—”

“No,” you cut him off. “Just don’t worry about it.” You point to the watch with your occupied hands. “It’s a graduation present, and uh, thank you present, for being my friend and saving my ass.” You grin at him and shrug. “I won’t take it back. It’s yours.”

Steve presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek, his eyes averting from you and focusing on the watch. He takes a moment to himself to gather his thoughts before he just says. “It would’ve been cooler if this had like a laser, you know.” He picks up the gift bag and then lets his eyes slide up to you to continue. “Just a thought.”

An amused laugh escapes you, causing Steve to smile at himself—“Like in case we cross into more danger?” You finish for him with a grin. “Like a demo-dog?”

“Yes!” Steve exclaims happily. “Like surprise I have a laser in my watch that can kill you bastards!”

You hand Steve back his cup of ice cream when he puts his present back in the bag and then add, “but what if you’re with a girl and you or her accidently hit the trigger.” You suck in air through your teeth and continue walking.

“Yeah, no, not ideal,” he agrees. “I’d take it off. Or show it off.” He smirks at you and hits your shoulder. “That wouldn’t impress you?”

You press your lips together and begin swirling your ice-cream as you think of his answer. “Hmm….I think it depends on the guy. But,” you say and then eat the last spoonful of ice-cream. “We’re getting too sidetracked.” You swallow back thickly and continue. “I wanted to tell you that I will be going to Oregon next week. Until July.”

“Wait,” Steve scoffs and blinks repeatedly. “Until July? But that’s like for like two months.” He stops and you’re forced to stop. “Why?”

Why is he so concerned all of a sudden?

“My friends surprised me with a ticket,” you answer him hesitantly and with confusion. “I thought it would be a good idea, I mean to see them for a bit. To visit my mom.” You sigh and blink and can’t help but notice his displeasure to your leave. “Why does it matter? Will you miss me?” You tease him.

Steve albeit just rolls his eyes, causing you to laugh.

“I think you need more friends Harrington,” you continue to tease him. This time he scoffs while he tilts his head and glares at you.

“I have friends!” He proclaims, sounding almost offended.

“Okay,” you snicker, “who? You can not say Dustin.”

Steve places his hand on his hips and looks away to think of an answer to your question. Albeit he takes too long so you answer for him. “Exactly.”

“Alright! Little miss popular,” he snaps back. “Tell me your list of friends here in Hawkins, don’t name the kids.”

You step back and keep the grin on your face since it wasn’t hard for you to name one person. “Jonathan.”

Steve snickers, “when’s the last time you hang out with him?”

You part your lips to defend yourself, but he was right, you haven’t hung out with Jonathan in a while, Steve knows that right away.

“Exactly!”

You ignore him and continue walking and push his shoulder with yours as you smirk at him. “You will miss me. Cute. Well,” you sigh, but feel your heart racing at the fact he didn’t deny it. “At least you can go job hunting now. Without getting distractions since Dustin is leaving too. You’ll be able to pursue…girls,” you roll out slowly, almost not wanting to say it since the thought did slightly upset you.

“Meh.”

You throw your cup in the nearby trash and look at the ground as you question his comment. “Meh?”

Steve stays quiet for a second.

“I think,” he says after a few seconds. “I’ll try finding a job first….” His eyes flicker to you but you don’t notice. “Just to figure myself out.”

“Oh,” you sigh. “That’s nice.”

“You.” He swallows thickly. “Are you reuniting with some old boyfriend there? In Oregon?”

“No.” You shake your head. “They’re all just good childhood friends. We don’t date within the friend group. But….uh…Billy did invite me to a party at Robert Duran’s place today.” You mention and now share a quick look before he looks away.

“Oh. Oh. Well you know how I feel about him. Mhmm, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

You huff out and nod. “Yeah, I wasn’t going. He said we could start off where we left off, but after what he did to you, the kids, I just can’t see him the same. I’m in search for…a…good guy now.”

Steve nods along to your comment and stays quiet. You stay quiet and reach his car with that same silence still hanging over your heads.

That is until you remember what you had hidden in your bag. “Steve! I remembered…” you pause as you get into the passenger seat and then proceed to pull out a long rectangular mascara box. “Look!” You show off.

“Makeup? I told you I won’t let you do it again.”

You pull out the lid and tilt the box to let a rolled up blunt fall on your palm.

“Whoa!” He exclaims. “Nice! It’s another present?”

You shake your head immediately. “No. But we can smoke it together, call it a celebratory smoke session! Hopper did say I can’t smell like alcohol but he never said anything about marijuana. And I know how to hide my trail.” You smirk and offer it to Steve first. “So, you up for it?”

——

*A FEW YEARS AGO*

“Okay, goodnight,” Hopper whispers and stands up from his crouched position by your bed to try and head towards the door.

“No!” You stop him. “Daddy, will you be here when I wake up?”

The last time you had been with him, you had fallen asleep next to him and when you woke up he was gone, you were on your way home without him.

Your dad turns and props his hand on the doorframe to share an assuring smile with you. “I will. I’ll be here, I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” You ask and lift your head to see him better.

Your dad walks over to you and crouches beside your bed to outstretch his hand out and offer you his pinky.

Without hesitance you pull out your own hand from under your blanket and hook your pinky around his.

“I pinky promise,” he assures you.

You giggle and lay your head back down after he pulls away and tries to head out again.This time though you stop again to blurt out something else to try and keep him with you longer. “Wait, daddy, I can’t sleep.”

Your dad scoffs and retorts. “Well you haven’t tried. Close your eyes and try.”

You huff and sit up, earning a loud sigh when he spots you.

“I’m serious y/n. Sleep.”

You turn on the lamp beside your bed and crawl to the edge of your bed to do the opposite of what he asked of you. “A few more minutes? Read to me. Or can we listen to music?” You clasp your hands together and bat your eyelashes. “Please.”

Your dad's eyes fall to the ground and his hands go on his hips as he stays quiet after he lets out another loud sigh from his nose.

“One song,” he offers bluntly. “One song.”

You squeal and jump out off your bed to run to him to grab his hand and pull him to the living room so he could play a song.

“Okay, what song? Choose wisely.” He asks.

You run to the stand to instantly pick out a song without so much as thinking of it. “This one!” You give him the album and he sighs but he doesn’t fight your choice, he puts it on and changes it to the song he knew you wanted, “Funny Valentine” by Frank Sinatra.

When the song begins to play, you grin brightly and put a hand behind your back and then offer your dad your other one like how you saw in the movies. “You want to dance with me?”

Your dad looks down at you and even if he didn’t like the fact that you were breaking the rules, he couldn’t help but smile at you over how adorable he thought you were asking him such a question.

“It would be my pleasure,” he can’t help but give in to your offer. “Come here,” he says while he picks you off the ground so he wouldn’t have to bend down and you wouldn't have to tiptoe to reach him. He continues to gently caress your face and press a kiss on your forehead before he whispers, “I missed you, you know that? But you do this again and I will have to take away your toys.”

You only giggle and cup his cheek with your little hand. “I missed you too, Daddy.” You then let your hand slide down so you could let it hang around his neck while you dropped your head on his shoulder and snuggled it up against the crook of his neck.

He begins swaying along to the music with a smile of pure, blissful contentment.

——

You check the time on your watch out of nerves and then glance at the menu that hid your face from Hopper.

“What are you going to get?” He breaks the silence. “I could let you get dessert for dinner. You’d always beg me to let you have a slice of cake instead of eating real food.”

“I’m getting a burger,” you answer dryly. You clear your throat and change the conversation. “We should take Eleven something, I doubt she’s going to eat at Mike’s house.”

“I’ll do it before we leave.”

You answer with silence and keep looking at the menu to keep avoiding Hopper. Regretfully, the waitress came to get your orders and took the menus with her, leaving you completely vulnerable to a smiling Hopper.

“Jonathan and you,” he starts off awkwardly. “Why don’t you guys hangout? Didn’t you say he was your friend?”

You shrug. “He has a girlfriend now. It would be awkward if I third wheel.” You grab your straw that’s inside your coke bottle and begin awkwardly swirling it around.

Hopper notices how bored and annoyed you were and it began to bug him, but he remembered that Joyce told him he needed patience, so he kept trying to stick to that.

“Oregon, are you…excited to go back?” He asks instead, finally receiving a partial glance.

“Yeah,” you answer with a very faint smile on your face.

Hopper clasps his hands on top of the table top and continues. “Do your friends and you have any plans?”

“Nope,” you keep the answers short and dry.

However, it was your dry answer that finally makes him give up on the small talk and get straight to the subject. Disregarding completely the patience he was told to have with you.

“Okay, okay,” he exhales deeply and leans in. “Let’s talk then. Tell me what you feel about me.”

He started off wrong. Completely wrong, he didn’t note that, but you did.

“What I feel?” You ask slowly out of bafflement.

“I mean all I’m getting right is short answers, eye rolls, and avoidance. So just give it to me straight.” He explains himself, triggering the anger that was left untouched up to this moment.

“What kind of question is that?” You spat. “Don’t you have something to say first?” You narrow your eyes on him and lean towards him to then put your hands on the tabletop. “I mean it’s been five years since nothing. Aren’t you going to say that you’re sorry?” You scoff and don’t let him answer, that stupid question infuriated you. “But if you want to hear what I feel about you, dad,” you enunciate slowly. “I don’t like you. You left me. Even before Sarah died, you left me.”

Tears cloud your eyes and you could feel your throat burning, but you ignore it. You ignore the look of hurt, but of understanding on his face.

“Why? Huh? I always asked myself that every birthday you missed, every call I didn’t get, every letter that I failed to get back.” You clench your jaw and sniffle as you try your best to keep in your tears. “I loved you. I looked up to you. And you would ignore me. I would defend you against my mom because she’d say mean stuff about you. I’d tell myself that you’re too busy to call, to write me back, to come pick me up. That is until you cut me off completely. After that I would just pretend I didn’t have a dad. He was dead, it helped me forget what I felt….”

Hopper blinks, his jaw slightly drops as he draws in a shaky breath of disbelief.

You clasp your hands together on the table and lean back, you avert your gaze and wipe your tears away.

“It…” he mutters, “it was never my intention to stop talking to you, or connect with you. One your…mother actually sent all my letters back each time, two, after Sarah died I just couldn’t, I fell apart.”

The letters. Yeah you knew that.

“I get that,” you assure him. “I get that Sarah’s death hurt, but did you ever stop to think that I needed you? She was my sister too. After her funeral you cut me off completely, it hurt, I needed you.” Your voice breaks and tears start streaming down your cheeks now. “I-I was your daughter too. I needed you.” You cry out shakily and take a moment to breathe to somewhat calm down to continue.

“I’d call you, I’d wait for your call each day before it turned to every week, every month until I got tired of waiting. I mean I never even got a call after you took in Eleven.” You look up at him and see his eyes are dry, his bottom lip is in between his teeth, but he appears calm. Unaffected. “If my mom wouldn't have died and I wasn’t forced to come live with you, would you have even told me about her? Or would you have forgotten about me and replaced me? Because I saw the way you looked at her, I saw the way you hugged her, if I didn’t come live with you would you have even tried to reconnect with me?”

“It’s not her fault,” Hopper defends Eleven. “I could never—”

Before he could finish his sentence, the waitress comes back with your food, she sets the plates down awkwardly when she notices the tension and makes sure to leave quickly, but her interruption completely broke the atmosphere. She left you to eat in an uncomfortable and tension filled silence. You could see Hopper wanted to pick up where he left off, but you made sure he knew you were avoiding him.

After the food was finished he ordered something for Eleven and ordered the slice of cake he had mentioned, but you left it untouched, you kept your mouth shut and struggled with your uneasiness, with the weight in your chest and the stinging lump in your throat. You felt like you had a lot to say, but you couldn’t speak at the same time.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Hopper finally interjects through the silence. “I’ll be back to continue our conversation.”

You hum and once you see he’s out of sight you pull the slice of cake towards you to begin picking at, going completely unaware of the unexpected third guest until he sat down in front of you.

“I didn’t expect to run to you here.”

You look up and see Billy where Hopper once sat.

“What do you want?” You ask bluntly and take a bite of cake. “Why don’t you return to your friends Billy. I'm here with my dad.”

“I see that,” he says and hangs his arm over this seat. “You didn’t go yesterday.”

“I was with Steve.” You glance at him and notice a cockier look on his face now at the mention of Steve’s name. “My friend.”

“You’re upset,” he brings up without hesitation. “What’s wrong?”

You scoff and feign a smile. “Why do you care? Look I think what happened back in November was a clear sign that we aren’t friends anymore. I’m not another one of those girls that will throw themselves at you when you flash a pretty smile, so leave me alone.”

Billy swallows thickly, his eyes drift away but rather than walking off and leaving you alone, he tilts his head and exhales to keep pestering you. “I know you aren’t like the other girls. I told you that you aren’t.” He smirks, obviously wanting to impress you after you referenced his smile as pretty, and then leans in with his eyes trying to hold yours. “Are you okay?”

You drop your eyes and sigh deeply. “No. Dad trouble…” you pause and let your eyes drift up to him to offer a very faint smile. “Thank you for asking. Billy. For whatever ulterior motive you are asking.” You huff out and begin tapping your fingers on the table.

“Dad’s can be a pain in the ass, I know,” he shares, causing your hostility towards him to falter.

Once again a huff escapes your nose and a genuine smile appears on your face as you agree. “Yeah.” You hold his gaze for a moment, just a moment until Hopper appears by the table.

“Let’s go, y/n.” He says bluntly, sparing a side glance at Billy.

You don’t hesitate to stand up and grab the to go bag, hesitating just to hear what Billy had to say. “I’ll see you around.”

You roll your eyes and nod slowly as you mutter out, “sure.” After one last spared glance you follow after Hopper in the same silence that had loomed before. Now it was just a bit more awkward thanks to Billy. It lurked inside the car for a while until Hopper parked just a mile before you could reach Mike Wheeler's house to pick up Eleven.

The random spot wasn’t like some pretty view, there was a bunch of trees surrounding the road, but it was lonely, perfect to continue the conversation.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says in a genuine and a upset way. “I was a shitty deadbeat dad, I know,” he exhales shakily and avoids looking over at you. “And I am sorry. After Sarah died I just decided that you were better off without me. I didn’t…” he pauses and inhales deeply to let out another shaky exhale. “Want that black hole to swallow you like it swallowed Sarah. The same black hole that I brought upon her, cause that’s what I am, a curse. You didn’t need me. I didn’t…I didn’t want to lose you too, so I left you.”

Your bottom lip trembles and you want to hold in your cry, but you can’t hold so much within your heart, you had to let out those built up emotions that have been disregarded for years. You had to let that weight go before it completely crumbles you.

“I could never replace you baby, never ever.” He continues to assure you. “I just couldn’t expose Eleven over the phone, it was too dangerous. I wanted to tell you, I did, but everytime I picked up the pen to tell you, I thought of Sarah and I just couldn’t…I couldn’t put you at risk. I couldn’t lose you too. But there was not a single day that went by that I didn’t miss you, that I didn’t worry about you, I love you, I loved you every day that went by. I know that’s not enough, but I hope that it’s a start to earning your forgiveness.”

You prop your elbow on the doors armrest and wipe your tears off your face as you try to compose yourself after breaking into a sob.

“I don’t plan on leaving you ever again,” he continues with his own voice quivering. “Not anytime soon.”

Finally after you could breathe propely you look over at him and hear him continue one last time.

“I’m sorry.” He stretches his hand out so you can hold it.

At first you glance at it and then you meet his eyes to add your one thought. “I…can’t just forget what you did in one day, but I do…I want to start forgiving you. And if it’s any condolence. I never hated you, okay? Never. I was just angry. Okay? I will try though, I will try to forgive you, one day at a time. I will put in an effort in mending our relationship.” You finish and take his hand in yours.

Your dad sighs in relief and smiles whilst tears roll off his cheeks. “That’s all I ask.”

You smile through your tears and rather than staying put you unbuckle your seatbelt and reach over to embrace him, to hold him close and feel the comfort of his arms you’ve missed for years.

“I missed you,” you whisper.

Hopper scoffs and holds you tight in his arms, he presses a kiss on the side of your head and keeps his lips pressed against your head to whisper back. “I did too…” he swallows thickly and breathes out, “my little valentine…”

A soft laugh escapes your lips and you hold him tighter in the comfortable silence that lingered after. It was a few minutes after that you did need to add one thing after you began to pull away. “But there is some ground rules that we need to discuss. I am almost eighteen, this curfew thing you have for Eleven can’t imply on me. All I ask is twelve thirty.”

Your dad wipes his tears off his face and scoffs with a more forced smile on his face. “Eleven thirty.”

“Twelve,” you offer confidently with no sign of any more wagering.

Hopper glances out the window, his hand pulling away from yours to grab the steering wheel as he really fought to accept your offer.

“Fine,” he deadpans. “But you cannot hang out with that guy that you were talking to at the diner. Harrington is the exception because of what he’s done. But even he’s a stretch.”

You huff out in amusement and assure his worry. “Don’t worry about Billy. He’s old news.”

Hopper rests his chin on the steering wheel and exhales deeply. “Okay. Okay. Fine. Twelve.” His eyes drift to you. “As long as you keep trying to work things out. And there’s a dress code. Deal?”

You smile and agree. “No to the dress code, but yes to the latter. Deal?”

He hesitates for a moment but gives in. “Deal.”

.

.

.

Tagged- @felicityofbakerstreet @lanatheawesome @deepdownangel @mserynlarsen @m-blasterrr @lookalivesunshine-x @slvtherinseeker​ @mochminnie​ ​ @fxtheroffour​ @beepbeephargrove​ @peterwandaparker​ @train-wrecc​ ​ ​ @truthdaze​ @ioonatv @leahseclipse

[torahoes]

(IDOLiSH7) Torao Mido - VD Winter Date Rabbit Chat: Part 1 - New Discovery!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Please note that I am not a professional translator. If you come across any mistakes, feel free to let me know and I will make the necessary corrections.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Good work today, Mido-san. And thank you for the other day!

Tsumugi Takanashi: I heard from Yamato-san and Mitsuki-san that you joined them for drinks after the recording! It seems the two of them really enjoyed themselves!

Torao Mido: I see. I think I had a pleasant time as well.

Torao Mido: I often get invited by Touma to all kinds of different places too, although the spots my members chose had a slightly different feel to them.

Torao Mido: The place I visited with those two was a peculiar restaurant specializing in creative Japanese cuisine. When they were guiding me to an old building, I wondered just where on earth they were taking me.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Ah, could it be the restaurant they’ve recently taken a liking to? The one that is said to have been built by renovating an old Japanese-style house...

Torao Mido: Yeah, that's the one. It's a hideaway-esque spot with an earthen floor and a veranda. We sat in a private room around a sunken hearth, but I was surprised there were no tables. Like, how are we supposed to eat?

Tsumugi Takanashi: I understand, it can certainly be surprising if you’re unfamiliar with it and it’s your first time. I heard from Yamato-san and the others that the place has a nostalgic atmosphere, so I'd love to visit someday...!

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Torao Mido: You’re still underage, right? Once you become an adult, I’ll teach you what good alcohol tastes like.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Thank you very much! I apologize for imposing, but I'd love to visit various places together once everyone becomes of age.

Tsumugi Takanashi: And how was the food?

Torao Mido: We ordered fish and broiled it over the hearth. Eating while listening to the sound of the fish sizzling made it taste as delicious as the broiled fish they serve at high-end restaurants.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Wow, that sounds amazing! You can't go wrong with that!

Tsumugi Takanashi: I heard the cuisine was unique. It seems they have many unusual items on the menu, don’t they?

Torao Mido:  There were way too many dishes. The seasonal dishes were also made with a variety of ingredients. It was clear the owner had undergone extensive training; I have to commend him.

Torao Mido: For instance, there was a dish named “A different kind of sashimi”. I found the idea of not knowing what kind of dish you'll get until you order it quite fun.

Torao Mido: When I ordered it, it turned out to be sashimi made from Japanese yam. It was my first time trying it, but it was good. I should tell Touma about it too.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Sashimi made from Japanese yam…. I’ve never heard of anything like that before!

Tsumugi Takanashi: I suppose it just shows how confident they are in the taste.

Torao Mido: They also seem to be quite particular about the production place. Apparently, they go to the market themselves every morning to buy vegetables and fish.

Torao Mido: Nikaido and the others seemed to be close with the owner. I got to taste some menu items that were still in development, but when "Caramel-coated Radish" was served, I seriously questioned their sanity.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Radish and caramel...!?

Tsumugi Takanashi:

Torao Mido: Shocking, right?

Torao Mido: At first, I thought there was no way it would work. But when I tried it, it was surprisingly good. Perhaps because of the butter, it had depth.

Tsumugi Takanashi: Did it have a sweet aroma? I can't even begin to imagine the taste...! To come up with a combination like that, the owner must be quite skilled.

Torao Mido: It's definitely innovative, huh?

Torao Mido: We were attempting to figure out what seasonings were used as we tried the dish, but we couldn't quite identify the instant coffee.

Torao Mido: Our chef makes creative dishes too, but I don’t think his vision is as broad as this. It might be good to let him try these dishes once.

Tsumugi: Takanashi: Dishes served at hotels and such often feature novel combinations that are not commonly found in normal restaurants after all, right?

Torao Mido: Do you frequent such places?

Tsumugi Takanashi: Ah… no, not at all.  > <   I've only been a few times for business dinners and such.

Torao Mido: Huh. So it wasn’t for dates.

Torao Mido: I’ll take you, then. What do you like? French? Italian? Or perhaps you prefer Japanese cuisine?

Tsumugi Takanashi: I wonder what would be good if we were to go with everyone… I’ll try asking them!

Tsumagi Takanashi: Ah, but I’m really looking forward to the "NEXT Re:vale" Valentine’s Date project!

Torao Mido: Yeah, they're apparently collecting ideas for the dates from the viewers and demonstrating them on the show.

Tsumugi Takanashi: It's not typical for ŹOOĻ to participate in this type of project, so it seems the fans are curious about what kind of concepts will be chosen for you!

Torao Mido: So far, we don’t know anything about the details of the dates either. Well, I’m just gonna do what I always do.

Torao Mido: I’m used to meeting others’ desires, after all.

Tsumugi Takanashi: As expected of Mido-san! I'm looking forward to the broadcast even more now!

Tsumugi Takanashi:

End of Part 1.

[wolfiemcwolferson]

I’m in my feels about Charles’ having a Seb helmet and also in my Maxiel feels because of a conversation with a friend so here is a thing.

Maxiel: The Helmet

Most of Daniel’s friends aren’t here and that’s ok. There’s a party waiting for him in 6 different countries and he plans on hitting them all like some kind of fan service retirement thing so no one worries too much.

But he’s looking forward to Christmas - where he plans on turning off his phone and forgetting about everyone and everything.

He’s currently staring at the Lance DTS meme that another acquaintance has sent him because they think it’s funny. “You love the sport but it just don’t love ya back.” Sure, Danny had made that joke himself, but he was allowed to do that. It hurt coming from other people.

There was no F1 fanfare for him either - the sport he bled for, the one that kept him from his family for two years, the one he’s missed birthdays and funerals and weddings and time for.

Of course, Seb was getting a proper fucking send-off. Daniel was getting a reserve seat and he knew he’d never see the inside of a car at lights out again unless something bad happened, and no matter what, he couldn’t wish that on anyone - not any of these guys.

It’s Charles’ helmet that breaks him though. The helmet for Seb. You love the sport and sometimes it just don’t love ya back.

And the worst part is he had told them all not to do anything. He was a reserve driver. He’d still be around. Don’t worry about making a big deal about it, I’ll be back.

He didn’t expect anyone to actually take him seriously…he expected something.

Danny is tired now, counting the hours until he can bolt. Ready to drink a bottle of wine on a flight and not have Michael glare at him passive aggressively.

Danny’s helmet isn’t special - the same design he’s had all season - because he didn’t want to remember this. But maybe he did and maybe he’s bitter and maybe he doesn’t deserve a full time seat ever and -

He’s tugged sideways suddenly and he nearly loses his balance but then Max is righting him with that gentle smile on his face that he gets for people he actually considers friends. Danny hadn’t seen it this week after everything, but there it is.

“Hiya, Maxy. What’s up?”

Max beams and whispers, “come with me.” And then he’s waving at people in the RBR garage as they walk past them and towards Max’s driver room.

Daniel feels like he should leave. Even if he has a contract with these guys that technically starts in two days - he’s in McLaren Orange and he sticks out, but Max doesn’t let go and they keep walking.

“I, of course, did not change anything. It is still gold, and my lion is the same as always, but -“ Max pulls Daniel through the door of his driver’s room and slams it shut behind him. Daniel has flashbacks of - well, not the time for that.

“Max, what?” Daniel asks, confused and a little tired.

“I know it is not your last race ever, but it felt important to me,” Max is still rambling - quick and nervous like he does when he’s unsure if he did something wrong, and then he picks up his helmet, the gold one with two stars on the back. “You will have a seat in 24, but I wanted to -“

Max turns the helmet around and taps on the place underneath the two gold stars. The number 3.

Max put a - a 3 on his helmet for Daniel.

For Daniel’s last race.

“I know things have been hard for us, since-“ Max waves a hand between them, and it’s met to encompass everything between them. “But you are still one of my best friends and you helped make me the driver I am today and -“

He shrugs and Daniel pulls the helmet from his hands with shaky fingers, placing it back down on the table.

“Thank you,” Daniel says, before he hugs Max, winding his arms around his waist and squeezing him close. “Thank you.”

Max puts his chin directly on top of Daniel’s head somehow and says, “Yes, well you are important to me. And I am glad you are coming home.”

Daniel squeezes Max tighter. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was coming home in more than one way.

[zanyzensblog]

Suletta Sunday omg holy crap!

My reactions More or less in order. But probably a jumbled mess. Spoilers ahead. 

Ahem...

Oh wow we’re really just getting right into it.

Damn, Suletta really loves her mom and sis and doesn’t want them to become even bigger war criminals.

Damn it Laudna, you’re emitting peak incel women hating energy right here. Stop it.

Suletta is officially the best damn pilot of the show, maybe Eri was holding back a bit but still the fact she’s flying through all of Aerial’s bits is something I don’t think even Guel in a gundam could really do.

Somebody else is in the data storm? Oooo our elusive Notrette perhaps?

Oh crap, the Assembly league has a death star. A big one. Annnnd of course those bene gesserit looking bitches are not only saving their own skins but making a play to be the top dogs. Ugh.

Elan 5 a little bit of a badass. 

*Gives gun to Belmira “I could never” (oh come you know you’ve basically killed scores) “I’m not giving a gun to a student.” (Damn it I almost like this guy even though he killed Nadim and basically started this whole mess)

“where did you get a gun?” “Who cares?” LOL

I always knew Haro’s were evil. Always knew it!

Damn Propera hitting them with the “You didn’t think I would change the password?” good villainess shit there.

Damn it Laudna, why do you suck sooo damn bad? Guel just kill his ass, the additional ptsd will be worth it.

Oh damn Guel is gonna die nooooooo not our boy!

*Sees flashback of when Guel met Laudna and Guel was immediately an accepting big brother happy to have a little bro.* Sniff, I’m not crying. Damn bro.

Felsi you goddamn miracle. MVP. Would have bet money one of the brothers was gonna die but nope, not if Felsi had any say in it. Attagirl!

Miorine calling out Prospera’s clear favoritism of Eri over Suletta.

Miorine remembering what I assume is a whole ass genome sequence she learned of yesterday that translates to an I love you from her mother to override Quiet Zero was absolutely baller and she’s got a galaxy brain if there ever was one. 

Damn Bel, way to step up a bit.

Damn Elan5, nice shot.

Miorine basically telling Prospera “I’m marrying your daughter no matter what, we’re gonna be a family. So deal.” Happy Pride month indeed! Love to see it!

Oh crap, here comes the double cross from the bigwigs, they’re a firing the laser!

Eri noo!

Prospera’s mark? What’s going on there?

ERI NOOOOOO!!

Holy crap most of Aerial actually survived that? That Gundam really is built different. But did Eri still die? Is there anything left of her? If not, Prospera’s gonna utterly freaking lose it on somebody. 

Closing thoughts Next episode is called the Final Episode? Huh, feels a little weird to title something that. I doubt this series is gonna get another season (Really wish it would, it’s done pretty damn solid storytelling for the amount going on and the small amount of episodes it has. Though still it definitely could have benefited from more episodes and a little more time to breathe and develop certain plots) 

I mean hopefully maybe it’ll at least get a movie (Gundam 00 did it) or a spinoff at worst (freaking Gundam Seed had like 3 right?) So here’s hoping we get to see more of this Gundam timeline cause damn, they made a solid and fun anime with this one. Last episode I’m almost positive we’re gonna get Delling talking about what exactly happened to Notrette and why he made Quiet Zero (I’m still positive it’s a Gendo Ikari thing, I’ll eat a hat if I’m wrong.) and also, hopefully we’ll finally get to hear wedding bells!! Get the best dresses! Chuchu should be Miorine’s maid of honor and Guel should Suletta’s best man! Don’t @ me.

[canirove]

Red & Blue | Chapter 32

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

When I meet again with the team's doctor, my manager also is there, which means that he also knows I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I still can't believe it.

"The results are back, this time complete" the doctor says.

"And they say I'm pregnant" I say very low, not being able to look them in the face.

"They do, yes. But the other day you didn't know about it, did you?"

"No, I didn't. I talked with a friend because I was worried something was wrong after what you said, and she recognized some of the symptoms and asked me to take a test."

"Do you know how far along you are?" my manager asks.

"I'm not sure. But I haven't had my period since May."

"We'll schedule a scan, we must make sure everything is ok with you and the baby. But... There is something I must ask you."

"Ok."

"Do you want to keep it?"

"What?" I say, finally being able to look at the doctor.

"Do you want to continue with the pregnancy? I think there still is time to..."

"No! I mean, yes. I want this baby. I want it" I say, my hand instinctively going to my belly.

"Alright, then. I'll get you that scan, and the sooner the better."

"What about the training?" I ask.

"No training" my manager says. "Your health comes first."

"But what are we going to say? When they don't see me out with the girls..."

"Don't worry about that now" he says, putting a hand on my shoulder, giving it an encouraging squeeze. "We'll take care of it. What you must do now is rest and take care of yourself."

"Thank you" I say, starting to get emotional.

"We are here for you. All of us. So if you ever need anything..." the doctor says.

I just nod, not being able to contain my tears anymore.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"You have to tell Mason."

"I know, Leah. I know."

"He's gonna start suspecting something is going on when he doesn't see you training or flying to Germany for the pre-season."

"I know. But I don't want to share the news with him over the phone."

"You can't fly yet, can you?"

"The doctor should tell us today" Sandra says. She's accompanying me to my scan, she and Leah being the only ones who know. Well, and Marco, but he's acting as if he doesn't.

"Ugh, I wish I was there. Sandra, will you record it for me?"

"I will, don't worry."

"Thank you. And please take care of her. By now you probably know how stubborn she is."

"I do" she chuckles.

"Hey, I'm right here!"

"Anyway, I better go. Please keep me updated."

"We will, Leah."

"Love you."

"Love you, too" I say.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"Ahí está."

"That's the baby?" I ask, not sure of what I'm looking at.

"It is, yes" Sandra says.

"Can you ask him if everything is ok?" I'm so nervous I've forgotten all the Spanish I've learnt these past years.

"¿Está todo bien con el bebé?" Sandra asks.

"Perfecto" he says. "¿Queréis oír el latido del corazón?"

"The heart? What did he say about the heart? Is the baby ok?"

"Everything is perfect, don't worry. He just asked if we want to hear the heartbeat."

"Por favor" I say.

And then I hear it. It's faster than I expected. Way faster, to be honest. But that's my baby. Mine and Mason's.

"¿Queréis una foto también?" the doctor asks again.

"A photo? Like of the scan?"

Sandra just nods, wiping away a tear. I had't realized she was crying. Or that I was also crying.

"Una foto. Sí" I say.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━        

"I can't believe that's my niece" Leah says via facetime after I sent her a video and a photo of the scan. "Or nephew. But I think it's a girl. Did they tell you anything?"

"Not yet."

"And what about flying? When can you do it?"

"Once I've passed the 3 months."

"That means that this is a champions league baby, uh?" she smirks.

"You are gonna start making jokes with that, aren't you?"

"Of course I am! And wait until Aaron finds out."

"Ugh, Aaron" I say, rolling my eyes.

"He's gonna be so excited. And he'll probably ask to be the godfather. Same with Declan."

"Aaron has been asking since our fake marriage in Vegas."

"I think he deserves it. And so do I. This baby wouldn't exist if it wasn't for us."

"I'll discuss it with Mason first."

"When you tell him."

"Yes."

"Which is gonna be..."

"Once I'm able to fly. I've already thought about how to do it, and I may need your help."

"I'm all ears."