#i know if anyone will let me down larian will let me down

[grapecaseschoices]

I've been playing for a while and I don't think Wyll gets any special dialogue with a cleric of tiamat. At least for acts 1 and 2 in my playthrough 😭

i feel like if they dont after the reveal of wyll being a warlock or wyll telling you the entire story after they save [REDACTED], then they probably won't ever.

[chipped-chimera]

Ugh ... I am low-key so worried about how the BG3 ending is gonna play out for Karlach that I'm considering stopping playing and just coming back to it when I can handle it. Some of this shit is just hitting too close to home and I'm not sure I'm cut out for it.

More personal context under the cut if you want.

I relate to Karlach's pain so much. Too much. To the point it makes me teary thinking about it. Both of our lives have been cruel.

It has been hard for me, despite a stable family upbringing that most would envy, in a lower-middle class family that for the large part has been financially stable. I'm also white. I know I'm lucky in that capacity - god I fucking know (and the thought that what I've gone through could be considered a 'lucky' position? What does that mean for others? It keeps me up at night).

But that didn't stop the pain crawling in. I wasn't diagnosed with Autism until 27. I wasn't diagnosed with co-morbid ADHD until I was 28. I wasn't medicated for ADHD until I was 30 (and that was AFTER being told by a psych who also invalidated my Autism diagnosis aka the context for fucking EVERYTHING in my life, I couldn't have ADHD because I could 'read a book').

Before that? I knew I was depressed at 13, but didn't want to burden my family so I did nothing - we may be lower middle class and stable but I knew that was only because my parents tried so fucking hard. We had camping chairs in place of furniture up until I was eight. I lived with the pain because I didn't want to burden them, and without the context of my neurodivergence I just blamed myself for the problem, not being good enough, not trying hard enough - not being ENOUGH. I held onto it until I cracked and couldn't take it anymore at 16. I was diagnosed with Depression and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. It's since been upgraded to chronic Major Depression and it's classed as treatment resistant.

Both of us have had moments of building ourselves up from nothing. Through therapy and medication I was able to feel a bit better, more positive as I left high school. Thinking maybe it was gonna be okay after all, out there in the world.

It felt like I'd slowly reached out into the light, tentatively, hopefully - there'd be something more, that I'd live out the dreams I'd had, the things I'd always wanted to do. I was still optimistic.

Instead it felt like that arm had been immediately lopped off.

The story is long and too complicated to tell without this being longer than it needs to be. But like Karlach, I feel I've lost years of my life. Like Karlach, it's been a decade - ten years. That I cannot get back, that I grieve keenly.

I have been isolated, and then betrayed by those I thought I trusted. First, by the systems that were supposed to help me when I was struggling - my own government's system as they hit me with a debt that I couldn't even pay, on a scheme which has in retrospect been found to be completely illegal, but has left me with lasting trauma and damage and no closure. Not even a sorry. Because I, with my undiagnosed Autism and ADHD and a growing fatigue issue where I was so exhausted from simply being alive I just couldn't fight it. So I let them take money out of my social security payment - which was and still is considered below the poverty line. I was punished for being poor, I was punished for arguably, being disabled.

And then, by the person I trusted most. The person I thought I loved, the person who made it felt like everything was okay - I may be struggling still but there was still a future! There was someone who cared about me, who would be beside me for the rest of my lifetime. He asked me to marry him. We were engaged for three. Years. We'd been dating for 10. I thought everything, despite all the shit happening to me, was going to be okay.

It wasn't.

I had landed some employment for the first time in 3 years. I was working more hours than advised by the psychologist who diagnosed me with Autism but I had no choice - I was literally on the minimum limit available to me, due to the barriers I still have to navigate to qualify for disability supports (again, from a government system that I no longer trusted and gave me the earnest impression that they preferred me dead than 'leeching off their system'). But I was not living. I couldn't handle even 15 hours a week, I was more exhausted than I'd ever been. I felt like a corpse. I spoke with my disability employment coordinator (no, despite what I said, being on disability EMPLOYMENT services does not qualify you getting onto disability support, just means the government will only hound me for a minimum of 15 hrs a week instead of 30 in order for social security, that's a whole other complicated thing) IN CONFIDENCE that I wasn't sure I could keep up with the current work format and hoped I could discuss some solutions. Next minute I find I'm locked out of the work facebook. I was fired, without warning and without protections because I was a casual. Because my employment coordinator told my boss before even discussing anything with me.

My relationship was suffering but I wasn't aware. I was too tired for intimacy, and probably two tired to see the signs. I'd gotten my Autism diagnosis at this point and maybe it was a bit difficult for my fiancée at the time to understand, but he came to terms with it. The ADHD assessment was booked. I had realized at this point pushing myself to be something I wasn't, thinking somehow landing work and earning money for myself would help the depression - it didn't. I was worse than I'd ever been. Then the moment came where I was handed a notice that the government would no longer give me any social security because my partner, on his meager chef's salary was earning too much. All because I'd tried to do the right thing by the government. I'd tried so hard to be good. I'd tried so hard to be ENOUGH.

I wasn't enough.

My fiancée came to me, my fiancée who I'd been talking to about our upcoming wedding plans now the pandemic was over, my fiancée who I'd been cuddling with on the couch last night watching films - he came to me when I was battered, and raw and broken and crying in bed - just said 'I can't do this anymore.' And that was it. It was done. As I processed it, I realised the root of it was, it was because I'd taken the mask off. I decided I wasn't going to try to be something I wasn't anymore, because I knew and it was backed up in countless studies - what I was doing was actively killing me. And he didn't want to deal with that. I wasn't enough, and yet I was too much.

It has been two years since then. My ADHD is medicated. I live in a stable, safe environment with my parents where I don't have to worry about my security. I have set firm boundaries that I learned while I was independent, and they respect them. But the wounds are still deep and it'll take a long time to recover, to get that trust in the world back.

When I look at Karlach, I see some of myself. Someone who has been used, abused and betrayed by those they trusted. Someone who felt abandoned by everything, that there was no hope, no way out. And yet in spite of it all - kept going. Who, deep in their heart kept something soft and safe. Held onto and protected what little shred of optimism left. Because if we don't practice kindness, who will? We want to be the kindness we want to see in the world, because fuck, have we seen so little of it. It is so easy to give up, to fall into despair when you've been through so much shit. It requires so much vigilance and energy and momentum to keep going, when you're wading through a battlefield of carnage and gore in your life, whether metaphorical or literal. We hold on and we are kind because we hope, one day, that kindness will touch us back. That despite it all we try our fucking hardest to wear a smile, and see the good in everything we can.

And I think that's why it hurts so much. Karlach is finally free. And happy. She feels loved. She's finally feeling some of that kindness again kindness that I know, that she knows she fucking deserves. And it's on a fucking time limit.

And that's what's fucking breaking me. I know she's supposed to be some kind of allegory for terminal illness. And I know this isn't my story. I know it's a story that is important to tell, and it will touch others in a different way. But for me it feels like all the wounds I've barely scabbed over are being ripped open again. Because this is not an ending she deserves at all. It makes me sit and wonder, is that all there is for people like us? Just brief windows of happiness in the pain until we die? Don't we deserve saving? Don't we deserve a happy ending? A peaceful one? Don't we deserve to wear that smile, that happiness without us having to fight for every second it with tooth and nail to keep it there? To believe in it?

I don't know the endings in detail for her. But i have seen enough in the vaguest sense to feel it won't be good, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. I have played games with sad themes, like I know Cyberpunk isn't that great either - but I think the difference is who it is happening to. It's somehow easier when it's you, as the player. But when it's someone else? When you know that pain so fucking keenly you would rip yourself apart just to let them escape that hell, it's hard to stomach.

Then there's the disability angle that bothers me so much. Currently her options, as she puts it, are burning up and dying or going back to Avernus. I understand why she's choosing death, like, fuck man I do. Why is it always death though? Why is death better. Why can't she get a replacement heart? Make it shit! It can be a shitty heart that still works, but needs tune ups, and maybe she can't fight like she used to but she gets to fucking live a happy life! Because a shitty, happy life is better than nothing at all. Because as it goes, it feels to me I'm just being told it's easier to just die than submit to the suffering again whenever a piece of media picks an end like this. It's either the cure-all or death, there's never room for something in between. There's never room for making peace with what you have lost and still reclaiming some of your life, grieving what you have lost but still finding something worth having and holding onto. And when you're in that limbo state yourself, it's a hard pill to swallow. And it's hard to let anyone else fall into it.

We both deserve life. We both deserve happiness.

Fuck.

[forgeofthenine]

Random NSFW headcanons about Zevlor

I was trying to work today and all I could think about was this man and what he's like in bed, so now I'm sharing it with everyone else. I have more headcanons about both him and Dammon if people want them.

General NSFW under the cut, all of its pretty tame but let me know if I need to put up a content warning

So, to start off with, no one out there not even Larian can convince me that Zevlor doesn't have experience. This man is at least twice my age and quite literally hot as hell. Unfortunately though, during and after the fall of Elturel into Avernus, I just don't think Zevlors even had time to think about personal pleasures like that. It's hard to get laid when your group of refugees keep trying to win a speedrun of the fastest ways to die in Faerun.

It might take a while to finally bed this man, but when you do it's well worth the effort. Zevlor is such a gentle lover in all respects, including sex, and he always makes your pleasure a priority. He's the kind of guy to forget all about himself because he's so focused on trying to get you off.

As for kinks, body worship is a big one. He loves to worship your body, no matter how you look. It's all soft kisses and gentle caresses over any skin that's revealed to him. The little murmurs of praise muffled against you are so precious, and darling Zevlor will spend hours reminding you what you mean to him if you don't stop him sooner.

Worship him too, let him know how much you love his body. It's so worth it. Tell Zevlor how strong he is, how much you appreciate the way he protects you, call this man handsome. The way his brow furrows at first before he melts under your combined words and touch is a sight to see. Kissing over each and every infernal ridge and bump he has while saying this is a sure way to bring Zevlor right to the edge.

Speaking of his infernal traits, I can see him worrying somewhat if his partner isn't also a tiefling, for the first time at least. Mostly because those infernal traits definitely spread to tieflings dicks too-

Zevlors not small by any means, he's particularly girthy and anyone would need a bit of prep and warming up before they take him, but the best part are the ridges. You know how some sex toys advertise themselves as 'ribbed for her pleasure' and such? They're just describing Zevlors cock. Like all male tieflings, the entire length has small but noticeable ridges and bumps, and the head seems to come to a slightly more tapered tip than usual.

Despite how he warns you that his stamina isn't what it used to be, don't be fooled, Zevlor will happily fuck you until you both see stars.

Afterwards, when you're all tired and happy while lying against his chest, is one of the only times you'll hear him purr. It's such a deep, low baritone you feel it more than you hear it, but it's there nonetheless. That, mixed with his fingers brushing up and down your bare skin, is a sure fire recipe for sleep.

Overall, Zevlor is one of the best lovers out there. Attentive, sweet, and with killer anatomy, who could pass up such a catch? I'd literally kill for this man-

[animentality]

Do you think Gortash would still love Durge even after their bad ending (you know when they betray Bhaal and choose to surrender themselves to prison at the end) and they’ve gone mad?

For example, let’s say in an alternate scenario where Gortash survives at the end of the game. All the other companions have abandoned Durge, do you think Gortash would step in and try to help them? Do anything?

I've wracked my brain at night thinking about it.

On the one hand, the part of me that looks exclusively at in game Gortash says that Gortash wouldn't love them without power and without reason.

Because the more canon aligned Gortash is more pragmatic than emotional and although I do think his feelings verged into the impractical, he still fundamentally needs balance.

He's a domineering kind of guy, he gets along with Durge because they refused to be cowed in any way by him, and he dared not pity them or treat them with anything less than the utmost respect.

He can't sweep them under his tidal wave of personality, he crashes upon their shore, and they chip away at each other, grain by grain, in a tumultuous but steady balance.

they had a tango, you know. two partners working together. sex and love stemmed from something other than practicality, but it was practicality that brought them together initially.

He loves the Dark Urge for their power and reason, and without those two things... maybe he wouldn't seek them out.

especially not after they betrayed him.

and I don't know. the more assholish Gortash would see their alliance as having reached its inevitable conclusion. the more... emotional but distant Gortash would say, goodbye, old friend.

I wish you could've escaped your master, as I escaped mine.

and he wouldn't see them again.

but canon aligned Gortash is underwritten anyway.

so I'll do Larian's job for them and say...

well.

it could go either way.

I can see Gortash abandoning them because he is literally unable to look upon his former love, completely without freewill, and not feel soul crushing, life ending despair.

I could see it being too painful to see them when he knows he can't help them and they can't be helped by anyone, and they're gone, and he has to accept that.

again.

but I can also see...

a determined Gortash.

who has nothing now, except perhaps a desire for revenge against Durge. but as they are, mad and alone and insatiable, why even bother, right?

Bhaal has tortured them more than Gortash ever could.

maybe he keeps them locked in a basement somewhere, and at first it's just to lord it over them. mock their failure, their inability to prevent themselves from becoming like this.

in the beginning, he's still bitter about his plan failing and he blames them. to him, maybe it's a cosmic justice...

he says you could've ruled the world with me at your side and Bhaal and Bane at our backs.

but you chose this instead.

but as time goes on, his heart softens and he starts wondering if they're in there somewhere.

the only person who could understand him.

whom he could understand truly.

and maybe they're down there somewhere, trying to be understood again.

so he shows them things he hopes they remember about the life they shared together for a brief but important time. maybe books they talked about. blueprints he showed them of his future inventions. their notebooks, left behind. their old clothing, left over after long nights spend fucking and arguing.

maybe he tries to find a cure. he has some medical expertise, right? from dissecting people. maybe he tries to find a solution, some way to bring them back. maybe he pours himself into studies of bhaalspawn and deeper magic, trying to find some way to bring back a person whose mind has been ravaged into nothing.

but worst case scenario ...

he has to give up on all that... and give them the death he knows they would've asked for, had they been conscious.

so.

yeah.

anon. I've thought of it.

[candyk0rn]

hi hi hi!! i just read your bg3 headcannons and the way you write astarion and gale is so on brand!! i love the way you write! its a follow for me :> my older sister is the one who is into bg3 (i only know basically everything due to her rambles LMAO) and i read them out loud with her listening while she did her laundry and she loved them sm! thanks for being the source of my sister's serotonin

i also saw that your requests are open, and my older sister would like to make a request :)) she was wondering if you could write wedding planning/wedding ceremony headcannons for the characters?! She was so sad she didn't get to see any wedding related scenes with Gale after the game events ;-;

Wedding preparations-BG3

I’m literally going to cry that’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me 😭 I’m so happy your sister and yourself like my writing so much, it gives me so so so much joy that you both enjoy it. Also I agree, Larian Studios should add a wedding dlc or something 🙏🏻 (Also since you weren’t exactly specific, I’ll do Astarion and Gale because it sounds like those are your favs!!)

Before reading: Fluff, gn reader, Astarion x reader, Gale x reader

Astarion:

After his journey with you and the other companions, he’s sure that he wants to spend eternity with you

He’s never thought of romance, he wasn’t able to when he was a slave to Cazador

But now that he’s free, and now that he’s with you, he’s sure that he shall never love again if he loses you

You’re the one who has to actually bring up the thought of marriage,

He knows he will forever stay with you wether you marry or not

He lets you do all of the planning, as long as he gets to pick the guests

He doesn’t want anything too extravagant, shockingly

Just you, your eternal bond, and your closest companions

That’s all he really wants for a ceremony

He doesn’t ask for much, because he’s never put any thought on marriage or anything like that

He asks you if it’s alright to take your surname, for he wishes to part with his old life and start anew with you at his side

Planning is easy with him around, but expect him to jokingly complain here and there lol

Gale:

Bro has never been more sure of anything in his life

He wanted to marry you the moment he laid his eyes on you

After your long, dangerous journey rehearsing the Absolute, he makes it his mission to propose to you

He just wants to take you back to Waterdeep, have you meet his mother, and finally settle down

He’s been through so much, a comfortable life with you would have him die a happy man

When it comes to the actual planning, he would like to keep everything equal

As long as you agree with everything, he’s happy. (and vice versa)

Like Astarion, he doesn’t want anything over the top or extremely fancy

A simple, fun wedding with the traditional dancing and close friends and family is all he really wants in a ceremony like this one

Also you cannot convince me he doesn’t bring Tara (his cat) to the wedding omg

He just wants to make this day special for the both of you

It’s a day he shall never forget, after all

Thanks for reading!

[bearhugsandshrugs]

I think you all know how much I love Halsin, but replaying the grove missions I can't help but think what kind of a bad leader he was. And I'm being dead serious.

First off, Kagha. He put someone as second-in-command who easily got desperate and trusted the wrong crowd. If you play out the Shadow Druid line, you hear how there suddenly appeared a letter to her and it didn't take much convincing for her to join them. But also, you can rather easily persuade her to turn on the Shadow Druids, too! So you're left with a deputy who can't hold her own ground, is easily swayed, and basically let her power fantasies get the better off her at the first chance. Now, you might ask: why is this Halsin's fault?

Aside from the obvious bad pick as his stand-in, he apparently had not developed her to perfom better as a leader at all. He set her up to fail: He left her, on short notice, in the middle of a crisis (already a bad call – he should have asked someone else to go with Aradin). But even before that, he apparently never taught her what kind of measures would be appropriate during duress, or she wouldn't have jumped at the first best chance to betray him.

But more. Many of the druids comment on how Halsin is "weak", not only Kagha. You can hear the idle conversations when you walk the grove. And they're not only about taking in the refugees. So there seems to be general discontent amongst his own community about his leadership, even portrayed by the fact that Halsin felt the need to hide his thoughts in a diary only carried by himself. You can also find a note which says that he asked the Emerald Enclave for help and they won't send any. Plus, last but not least, you seriously have not put any effort in developing a worthy successor (Kagha aside)? Really? Sure, you can get someone from the outside, but why, if you're leaving anyway? That play would make the most sense if Halsin intended to return and then step down, which seems telling in itself.

Even more. Because right outside the grove there are several harpies with literal bodies and skeletons piling up on the beach. You have a whole ass community of druids yet no one thought to actually walk, what, 15 minutes down to the beach to see what's going on down there? You couldn't be bothered to do something about it?

And it pains me to write this, because he's supposed to be our guidance-giver, a retired leader so to speak, but what he leaves behind in the grove is little to show for. He remarks himself several times that he wasn't truly happy there, and later you find out that he had to step up as arch druid when his previous leader was killed. And then he took the community to the grove and established a community there. A community that was made up entirely of refugees, and then is all too eager to turn on tiefling refugees the second those strangers come into the same scenario Halsin once led them out of.

Of course he can't be responsible for everything, but he is (or was) responsible for the culture there. And what we see of it? No thank you, actually.

It's probably because for a hundred years he was restless, seeking to figure out the shadow curse, weighed down by guilt and desperation of not finding any answers. Add to that his whole trauma-response of his whole laissez faire lifestyle – do as you wish, basically, as long as it won't harm anyone – and you get the Emerald Grove. At the same time Larian is trying to sell us Halsin as this wise man who has seen everything and can't be shaken easily, but man. Yeah maybe that's true. But maybe he should be shaken up more easily. Actual lives are at stake. This is not the time to be so chill.

Last but not least: I think Halsin knows this. But he can't get past the doubting himself stage. He can't just admit it to himself, admit that his avoidance of deeper bonds caused this. He voices doubts, sure, and says that not solving the shadow curse sooner was his biggest failing. YET. How could he have done that without allies? And that's the thing: In a century of not properly settling down to develop stronger bonds – to his own community of druids, to others, hell even to Jaheira, who he knew of was there! – he had no allies to cure the shadow curse. No allies meant there was no one to seriously grieve over if they should die, like he did with Thaniel and his former arch druid. At the same time no allies meant also that he was destined to fail. But instead of seeking said allies, he stayed in the grove, sought refuge in books and tests, and shied away from befriending others.

It's why he needs Tav so much and why he stays back in camp for most of Act 2. He can't get too close. He is literally unable to form stronger relationships to people he can rely on. I think it's past trauma preventing him from it. Does he know this, deep down? Probably. Will he ever admit it? Not in the game. Unfortunately.

[astarions-darling]

The Devil's Game Raphael x FemTav Chapter One

Regency AU tags/warnings: no warnings yet. everyone is human. full of cliches :) words: 2323 read on ao3 via source

Miss Tav Larian fears she is running out of options. She cannot let her horrible Auntie Ethel force her to marry the Emperor—her distant cousin who has inherited Tav’s father’s title and estate. But there is no escape…her aunt controls all her inheritance until she either marries or turns five-and-twenty. She cannot wait that long… she has no time and nobody else will marry Tav—Auntie has seen to that.

She has no choice. A desperate plan has Tav sneaking into the House of Hope, the most notorious gaming hell in all of Faerûn, to take a chance at playing cards and winning enough money to escape her Aunt’s clutches.

But can she win the Devil’s game?

It’s Mills and Boon time, lads.

This story, while silly, contains spoilers for the game - mostly the Emperor and who he is.

Everyone is human in this story! But if you want to picture the Emperor as a mind flayer amongst a bunch of humans, go for it. Raphael and Haarlep are half brothers in this story so their relationship is much different to in game. It works better for me plot-wise.

This is also vaguely regency as it’s not historically correct by any means! It’s a world of its own, I suppose. Also I had to give Tav a surname and well…Larian seemed appropriate haha It sounds fancy!

Tav slinked across the wet cobblestones, trying to keep her dress from dragging across the ground—the edges were already wet. A barouche came around the corner at speed and nearly splattered her with mud but she quickly plastered herself against the stone wall of a nearby building. She held herself there a moment, breathing fast as she watched the carriage disappear down the street. Carefully she grabbed the skirts of her dress and continued down the dark street.

The thought of having to explain to Auntie Ethel how she’d ruined her dress was not something she wished to contemplate—she’d probably be locked in her room for a week as punishment if the old hag knew she’d damaged her clothes. Tav didn’t dare entertain the idea of what her aunt would do knowing how Tav had come to get her clothes in such a state. The young woman paused and shuddered at the mere thought. But Auntie Ethel would not discover this insubordination, Tav told herself, as she tried to keep hidden in the darkness of a nearby mass of shrubbery. She glanced down the street and took in the looming building that lay at the end of it.

The monstrous mansion that glittered impressively amidst the lit lanterns of the street was her destination. Even from this distance, Tav could see that the large windows in the building had most of the drapes drawn, but within the ones that were open, they flickered with candlelight and it was possible to catch a moment of movement as silhouettes passed by dreamily. It looked so inviting, so completely enchanting in the moonlight. But while Tav may not have grown up in the city proper, she knew enough that the look of this grand house was entirely deceiving.

Everyone knew about the gambling hell that was the House of Hope, not that anyone would admit to such profane knowledge. And certainly, nobody would let slip they had been there. It was the sort of place people whispered about in dark alcoves or behind their fans if they dared to mention it at all. Usually only the very wealthy or the peerage were allowed in, it was notorious for its selective entry and the things that went on inside...Tav was sure half of the rumours she’d heard about the wretched place had to be false. That had to be one of the only perks to living with Lady Ethel Pearl—that woman seemed to know everything and collected secrets like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

The building itself managed to sit along the bank between the lower and upper city of Baldur’s Gate; easy for those of little standing to be swallowed by and ostentatious enough for the worst kind of the upper class to dare set foot in. Tav knew that If you saw someone you knew in the House of Hope, you did not acknowledge it. You were there to play cards or engage in a game lanceboard, perhaps have a drink. That was all.

Tav watched another carriage trot by, this one at a more measurable pace, the hooves clattering happily against the cobbled street as she steadied her breathing. Her blood thrummed with nervous anticipation at the sight of the gambling hell. You had to be welcomed into the House and her plan to sneak in would surely not be met with any enthusiasm should she be caught. It was no place for a lady—though Tav had heard rumours about Lady Mizora frequenting it. Not that Lady Mizora had a care of being snubbed and was certainly wealthy enough to afford to not give a fig about the opinion of the ton. While Tav may not have been a lady, she had been the daughter of an Earl, before her father had passed. Her family name did mean something and it would damage her to be found in such an establishment. Her ruined reputation would be nothing more than leverage for Auntie Ethel.

Tav sucked in a deep breath through her nose and her eyes glazed over a moment at the thought of her father and the wretched woman he’d entrusted to care for his only child. It felt like she’d been trapped with Auntie Ethel forever. The woman wasn’t even her real aunt, she was her father’s cousin. Tav cursed the day that hag had appeared on their doorstep in the guise of helping her father through his long illness.

Poor Papa.

The street she’d been slinking down turned into a small alley, the end of which her destination glittered. She walked down it carefully, the uneven cobblestones wet beneath her feet. The small amount of gold she had secreted away felt heavy in her reticule as she navigated her way towards the House of Hope. It was not a lot of money, but it would be enough to play a few games of cards inside the house. So many years of playing with Auntie had taught Tav a lot about cards, especially because the old hag had a tendency to cheat. She felt she had a good chance at winning…it was her only chance.

Tav had heard that the Devil enjoyed having many of the high society deep in his pockets and the potential to win enough gold to leave Ethel behind was possible. The proprietor of the hell did not care so much who you were, as long as you had gold…or something of worth to offer if he had already emptied your coffers. He must have a name, Tav supposed as she walked down the alley, but she had only heard him referred to as the Devil.

“Eh, lass, whatcha doing ‘ere all by yourselves?”

The slurred voice startled Tav from her thoughts and she found herself in front of a short, elderly gentleman with a face like a walrus who had appeared out of the darkness. He belched loudly and Tav took a step back as he stumbled, an empty bottle held loosely in his hands before it clattered to the ground and rolled away.

“Young ladies shouldn’t be about all by ‘emselves.”

The man belched again and Tav tried to sidestep him but he grabbed at her cloak, his body swaying with the motion.

“Unhand me,” Tav demanded in the most direct voice she could muster. The man didn’t seem to be much of a threat. He had a melancholic air about him that had her add with a much gentler tone, “Please, sir, I must be going.”

The man peered up at her, his blue eyes bloodshot as if he’d been crying.

“Don’t go there, miss,” he said in a whisper, his eyes darting toward the House of Hope in the distance. “The Devil don’t take nothing.” He tugged on her cloak again and Tav feared the fabric would rip. “He don’t take nothing you ain’t giving. And he’ll make you gives everything you got.”

She managed to pry his grip off of her cloak and quickly hurried away, trying to ignore the prickling feeling at the back of her neck. She made it out of the alley, the cool evening air clinging to her fingers as a low mist settled itself in for the long night. The streets were bustling in this part of the city, though it always felt like Baldur’s Gate was never asleep no matter the time of day. In this busy crossing the streets were full and so she watched as people, some trying to be inconspicuous and some without a care, broke free from the flow of foot traffic to walk through the large open gate of the House of Hope and up to the front door. It was easier to blend in here, with so many people about—nobody was paying her any attention.

Tav knew she wouldn’t be able to get in through the Devil’s front door without an invitation. The large door was flanked by two guards, both looking burly and bored with their trollish appearance. As each new person approached, their name was checked on a ledger before being let in through the large and overly gilded doors. A glimpse of red velvet and glittering candelabras were seen before the doors closed once more. A moment later the doors opened again and Tav watched the guards hurl a man down the marble stairs and into a puddle left from the evening rain. Clearly, his name had not been on the list.

She knew there would be no ‘Miss Tav Larian’ on that list and so she had planned on how to gain entry. For several days she had perused the building on her walks. This wasn’t a bad place for a young lady to walk during the day, and she was never alone—her aunt had her accompanied by her personal maid, Mayrina, at nearly every waking moment.

But luckily for Tav, Mayrina was an utter goosecap. It was easy to persuade the girl to walk around these surrounding streets of the House of Hope on Tav’s daily walk and claim to be enjoying the architecture and surrounding gardens. All the while, Tav was taking note of the servant's entrance at the back of the mansion and how many people in service there appeared to be. She’d seen a few maids and footmen milling about; preparing horses, bringing in fresh food and loads of baskets filled with sheets.

So now it was easy to slip around the side of the building, searching for the servant's entrance she knew was there. When she spotted the open iron gate, she hurried through and was relieved to see nobody else. Quickly, she pulled off her cloak and hid it behind a nearby statue of an ugly-looking imp. She smoothed her dress down—she’d stolen a long apron from Mayrina and had tied it over her day dress—and fixed the pins in her neatly styled hair and put on the cap she’d also stolen from the maid. Her dress certainly was not the right sort of dress for a maid but with the apron and cap, she didn’t think anyone would notice her dress too much. Auntie was always talking about servants and how they were never noticed. Tav could never understand how Mayrina bore working for her.

“You can do this,” she whispered to herself, clutching her reticule tightly. 

It was with a sort of disappointed relief that she found the servant entrance door unlocked. If it had been locked, she could have told herself she had tried and then simply go home. But there was nothing stopping her now. She darted in quickly and waited for the inevitable shout from someone demanding who she was, but none came. There was a young man lounging nearby, idly smoking a grimy looking cigarette. He hastily put it out and looked at Tav with a guilty expression.

“Er, please, don’t tell Korrilla,” he said. “I just needed a quick break.”

Tav raised her chin. “I won’t say anything.” 

The man smiled with relief at her words and Tav tried not to run through the hallway. She passed a few others maids who nodded at her and she returned the greetings. Nobody had said anything! She could barely believe her luck so far, but she did not dare test it. When she came to a set of stairs she quickly ascended until she came to a door which opened with ease as she turned the handle. Creeping through, she found herself on a lushly carpeted floor that was empty of anyone else. Music and laughter greeted her and as she slinked further she realised she had come upon a mezzanine floor. Slowly, she walked forward and peered over the gold balustrade and down below. It was full of people! There were so many tables set up for all different kinds of card games and waiters were walking around with trays laden with champagne. It was like the most raucous soiree Tav had ever seen. She could even spy some men and women lounging together on a settee, sitting far too close than was proper and laughing as they clinked their drinks. Tav’s heart raced when she saw one man slide a hand so effortlessly under one lady's skirt—the woman didn’t even budge! She just laughed again, the feather in her hair swaying hypnotically before she gracefully stood and gestured for the man to follow. Tav watched them as they both drifted off together, arms intertwined, toward a large staircase.

Tav ducked back as the music from below swelled, and in the distance, a champagne cork popped. She’d spotted the cribbage card table and all she had to do was get down there and act like she belonged. 

Easy.

The couple had reached the top of the stairs and Tav watched as they disappeared behind a set of closed doors. She closed her eyes and prayed to any god that may hear her plight and possibly offer guidance. With nothing left to do but either flee or continue with this madness, she steadied her resolve and started to head for the large staircase. Her heart was racing. As soon as she reached the top of the staircase she would remove the apron and cap before stuffing them in a nearby vase. The closer she got the more panicked she became. But she couldn’t leave now. That odious old woman was so desperate to get her to marry the new Earl—her estranged cousin who just happened to be next in line for the title and also just happened to be Ethel’s son. Sometimes Tav wondered if the old woman had poisoned her father and addled his brains to even let him think to give that hag control over Tav and her inheritance.

Too lost in trying not to cast up her supper, Tav failed to hear the door open behind her.

“A lost little mouse is running through the house…”

[falkarph]

COMPANION QUOTES: GALE OF WATERDEEP

rp prompts taken from the game baldur's gate 3 by larian studios. some may be slightly edited. subtle spoilers may be present. inspired by @mcflymemes 'as said by' series.

❛ a hand? anyone? ❜ ❛ you don’t happen to be a cleric by any chance, do you? a doctor? surgeon? uncannily adroit with a knitting needle? ❜ ❛ i understand i ask a lot of you with few answers in return, but in time all will be told. ❜ ❛ what is youth if not a time to be forgiven for one's transgressions? ❜ ❛ i do enjoy our conversations. ❜ ❛ all of this … it must feel like a betrayal. say the word, and we’ll part ways. ❜ ❛ a little privacy, please. ❜ ❛ you showed me just how much i have to live for. ❜ ❛ all the world's my stage and you're just a player in it. ❜ ❛ i promise i will not betray your trust. ❜ ❛ i was hoping you‘d spare me a moment. there was something rather magical i wished to show you. ❜ ❛ i said exactly what i meant. i love you. and you should never, ever doubt that. ❜ ❛ the tighter the security, the juicer the prize. ❜ ❛ you put the stars to shame. ❜ ❛ time seems so infinite when you're young … a month is an age, a year is a lifetime … it is a strange feeling, to realise how little of it one might have left. ❜ ❛ you must not deny your heart’s desire. i would not want you to. ❜ ❛ i’m not quite sure i'd consider myself parent material, plus our current lifestyle isn’t exactly what i'd call settled … ❜ ❛ i will not let you down. ❜ ❛ let’s not throw the murderous baby out with the bathwater. ❜ ❛ it’s not alright, but it’s what i’m willing to do. for you. ❜ ❛ whatever these dark powers of yours may be, they serve no purpose if you cannot control them, or yourself! ❜ ❛ i’m not sure i like the look in your eyes. what’s wrong? ❜ ❛ dangerous secrets are best shared with those who depend on you. ❜ ❛ gratitude can wait. you’re not out of the woods yet. stay focused. ❜ ❛ if the mood takes me, i’m known to try my hand at poetry. ❜ ❛ i love this time of night. there’s an almost reverent silence that accompanies the peak of darkness, when you’d almost believe the dawn will never break. ❜ ❛ i thought this place might bring me peace. i thought it might make the weight of what i must do a little lighter. now i’m not so sure. ❜ ❛ i am terrified - i will not claim otherwise. my face could scarcely conceal it even if my words sought to deny it. ❜ ❛ you must know that … you’re very special to me. ❜

[ghostofvalorie]

That Essay

@forsaire tagged me and now I MUST provide! You opened Pandora's box on this one. To adhere to the rules I will first provide FOUR and ONLY FOUR of my fictional crushes! And to make it easier on us all I've narrowed it down to games only, so here we go!

I'm starting off from the very beginning of my journey into crushing on non-existent people, and people who have read my tags before might know this one already!

Malik Al Sayf from Assassins Creed 1 - 2007

A man whom you've wrong by being arrogant and then spends the next few hours of the game being yelled at by him, and rightfully so. Not only do you cost him his arm and place as an assassin in the brotherhood, but his younger brother as well. Eventually Altaïr stops begin a prick and apologizes and Malik, bless his heart forgives him. Still... not me rolling into Jerusalem hoping, wishing, to get yelled at because Malik's Voice Actor goes HARD <3 I love him and his 7 whole polygons! NEXT!!

Keeping it somewhat chronological:

The Arishok from Dragon Age 2 - 2011

He beeg. He got horns. He is technically an antagonist in the game but he has a moral code that makes sense to him that he is willing to kill and die for. Qunari famously live their lives incredibly black and white so to him he is in the right, even if we disagree. But he just got a wholeass vibe, and he'll say nice things such as

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you" and I mean, with that voice... say no more sir. *takes shirt off*

NR 3: Adam Jensen from Deus Ex - 2011-2016

My cyborg husband <3 Ex-swat turned security guy, then interpool agent (depends on which game you are playing) He's just an incredibly good guy, the sweetest person on the block. Ofc it depends on how you play and what choices you make, but MY Adam is a sweeheart that will go out of his way to help people. And my boi got sass, he'll be snarky to literally anyone, his boss, the cops, criminals you name it. He's also secretly a little funny. <3

Nr 4: Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2 - 2018

I mean first off, he do a little *mlem* when he drinks coffee... Do i even need to say more? Arthur is just such a perfect sad boy. Raised to believe his only worth lies in killing people when in reality he is incredibly competent, sharp and caring. Again depends on how you play the game, but my Arthur is the goodest boi in the west.

Now that was four, oh but look, somehow completely unrelated to all this, some other honorable mentions seems to have ended up after the cut, how silly of me!

And @xintothewoodswegox, show us what you got!

Beast from Beauty and the Beast - 2017

No further comment, your honor, if you've seen the movie you should know.

Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect - 2012

How can we not love the powerful nerdass space magician! He's caring, he is cute, he is Canadian and schrodinger's person of color! He also glow blue, what else can you possible want? I for sure do NOT kick my feet and twirl my hair anytime he wants to talk to me.

Eris Goddess of Chaos from Sinbad - 2003

I MEAN LOOK AT HER?!?!?!? Again an antagonist, but she is sexy about it.

Helga Sinclair from Atlantis - 2001

I'm-I i mean, I don't even have words. Every time I SEE Helga my brain flat-lines I can't help it. THAT GIF THO???

Majima Goro from the Like a Dragon series of games

No comment, because if i start i will NEVER stop, he's story is too good.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley from Call of Duty MWII - 2022

I could literally put ALL the characters from that game in this list. ALL OF THEM, but to keep this somewhat short I've chosen ONE and i've chosen Ghost, the most tragic man alive.

Kar'niss from Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023

Another TRAGIC boi, missunderstood and abused </3 I could take care of him. LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM LARIAN

Jonathan Reid from Vampyr - 2018

You didn't think I'd squeeze in a vampire this late, did you? I wasn't overly impressed by Jonathan from the start, BUT, he is FASCINATING if you play him as a bloodthirsty villain willing to murder everyone for power! I'm here for bad-boy Reid!

Lastly, for now: Corvo Attano from Dishonored - 2012

Also an incredibly tragic man, who's fate you hold in your hands with your actions! He's just hot, he's a dilf, he can succumb to grief and violence or rise above it to save not only his daughter but an entire empire from destruction.

I'm not sure i've y'all have noticed the pattern yet but let me spell it out for you:

PEOPLE THAT CAN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY ME! Look at them all! So STRONG! So POWERFUL! Fuck, mess me up fam! And the beauty lies in that they never would. Or I mean Eris might... but I'm in a firm belief that the others would never harm someone they care about and ain't that just the purest thing you've ever heard.

Now this was only the highlights of my fictional crushes, I've kept most of the absolute freaks out for now. Maybe I'll do an updated list later where werewolves and Cthulhu makes the cut, we'll see. Now I know HP Lovecraft wasn't a very cool dude to say the least, but you expect me to be normal about the big tentacle monster? REALLY? Lower your expectations.

[masterskywalkers]

So I'm reading that new Larian interview for BG3, which has really popped up at a great time for me research-wise, and I see this for Ascended Astarion:

"So with Astarion, his evil ending is actually him…much of what he does is out of fear. And as a player, you can say to him, "You're right to be afraid." And that sends him to a really horrible place, and that I think is really powerful."

Now I've been doing a lot of research into vampires and vampire spawn in literature & D&D mechanics lately - partly for fic ideas, partly because this fandom frustrates me to no end sometimes with some of the things I read and I kind of want to do a breakdown on my own view and interpretation on the character - and this quote is very much something I agree with.

From Act 1 Astarion acts mainly upon fear and survival. He is not a good person, and he will do anything to survive. He literally uses any weapons or tools he has to build a net of safety within the group or with Tav, regardless of whether his methods are healthy for him or not. He knows no other way, because for the past two hundred years at least, he has known nothing but cruelty.

Even as you move further and further into the game, Astarion doesn't stop being afraid. As a Bhaalspawn who romances him but fails to kill Isobel, Sceleritas will comment that 'he is so afraid, so very afraid of everything, but you. The one thing he should fear the most'. In Act 3 after the other spawn attack the party, if a romanced Tav argues with him about the Ascension ritual, there's a response where Astarion will say 'I'm doing this for both of us, you know? To keep us both safe'.

Astarion is fueled by fear, and he believes that power is a way to ensure he won't ever have to fear anything again. That he won't have to be weak anymore (he sees himself as weak, ignoring the utter strength he has to even be able to survive the amount of torture and abuse he's lived through for so many years). During the decision of whether to allow him to Ascend or not, it takes an intervention from the person he trusts the most to even attempt to talk him down - and even that option is a journey of dice rolls and making the correct choices.

Astarion follows in the footsteps of the playstyle and the behaviors of the player character. He values his freedom and independence, but he doesn't know how to live without fear because, as far as he remembers, fear has been his entire existence. Even if you don't let him ascend, when you ask him how he feels about freedom he says it's both terrifying and exhilarating - it's a new kind of fear for him, the fear of a vast future open for him, one that isn't ruled beneath the hand of someone who controlled him.

In either ending - bad or good - Astarion gains and loses something. In a good ending, he gains freedom and the chance to start anew - to a limit, as he looses the ability to walk in the sun. In a bad ending, he gains security, safety and power - but loses himself in the process:

"Whether or not a vampire retains any memories from its former life, its emotional attachments wither as once-pure feelings become twisted by undeath. Love turns into hungry obsession, while friendship becomes bitter jealousy. In place of emotion, vampires pursue physical symbols of what they crave, so that a vampire seeking love might fixate on a young beauty. A child might become an object of fascination for a vampire obsessed with youth and potential. Others surround themselves with art, books, or sinister items such as torture devices or trophies from creatures they have killed." - Players Handbook, 5e

^ This is something that really interests me, because how much of that extends to the Vampire Ascendent is up to the player. I have my own thoughts for what this means for a romanced Astarion - and maybe I'll write something about that at some point, or post my thoughts in more detail later if anyone is interested - but the fact that the Vampire Ascendent is different from a normal vampire due to it being born from a deal made with a devil, I think, gives enough creative leeway for writers and players to play around with how they interpret to fit with their own playstyle.

Astarion, throughout the game, is at the very beginning of a long journey of being a survivor of abuse and trauma. I don't think he's really able to process or work on recovery until Cazador is dead - he is the looming threat for Astarion, after all, the shadow that is always there. Because even if they defeat the Netherbrain but don't defeat Cazador, Astarion is still at huge risk of becoming his toy again - but how he chooses to work through that and learn to handle his fear, depends on the person he becomes throughout the journey. And the player character is a huge influence to this - for better or for worse.

[dolceaspidenera]

Our Personal Take on Baldur’s Gate 3

Foreword

After many hours of gameplay and the initial excitement about Baldur's Gate 3, it's finally time to switch back on our brains' critical and analytical parts and express a more articulated opinion on the game.

Even though it’s likely that this letter will only reach a few people, we’ll try to get our thoughts out there for anyone to read.

DISCLAIMERS: what follows is intended as constructive criticism towards the game from fans who have little to no experience in game development beyond what is publicly and generally available, alongside a small taste of it during the academic career of one of the writers. This letter was written before Patch #1. If in the meantime, anything we've pointed out has been corrected, we'll be more than happy about that! 

Also, this post has no intention whatsoever to belittle Larian's effort, to whom goes our greatest appreciation and gratitude for making such a beautiful, rich, interesting, fun game, which respects us fans and consumers beyond what the market has led us to expect from other game-development companies. This game is simply beyond greatness in a gaming landscape filled with micro-transactions, poor and recycled content, washed-out stories, and live services, it’s clear how it's a work of passion down to the last single, accurately crafted detail. 

All the praise the game is receiving is absolutely well deserved, and since most of the good stuff has already been said, we've decided to focus our attention on the type of content we’d like to see more and that we felt there was a lack of.

We'll be discussing the following topics:

Interactions with/between companions;

Skill checks management;

Party management. 

Lastly, this post has been cooperatively written with @myopic-skull, but in the following, the singular first person will be used to enhance the experiences of each player.

Thanks for reading and sticking with us; we hope you will appreciate our ideas and points of view and beware of the long post under the cut.

Interactions and Dialogues

Scarcity of Dialogues Between the Main Character and Companions

After many hours of gameplay, I've been feeling a lack of dialogue with the companions. 

I must admit that I am one of those people who would gladly spend hours talking to everyone in the camp at each chance they get, while I understand that other people don't care about this aspect of the game and skip most dialogues to get back to the gameplay. Still, I think that dialogues are a fundamental aspect of RPGs.

Of course, worldbuilding and plot — of which there is definitely no lack in Baldur's Gate 3 — are also pillars of this genre, but after all, the strong relations you tie with the other characters and the affection towards them are what make you feel deep inside you that your choices have consequences, and that those consequences carry a huge weight, that let you realise that the stakes are high and that they would affect someone you've grown fond of and care about.

Please, Larian, grant me the possibility to spend more time with my companions, talk to them more, and get to know them better. It's frustrating how each time I go back to the camp, I'm hoping to read new dialogues and discuss the recent events, just to end up reading the same old default lines. I'm not saying that the characters are uninteresting or badly written. Quite the opposite! It’s because they are such interesting characters that I crave to know more and to discover every little detail about their stories and personalities, and above all else, to spend more time with them.

⚠ Spoilers about Act 2 ahead! Astarion's backstory is incredible. I love how Larian handled such a character. I've loved the revelation that for him, sex has been weaponized, that it's been a traumatic experience about which he never had any freedom of choice and that it's become second nature for him to use it to manipulate people. Also, I love that Shadowheart's story touches on topics such as religious trauma and how many small details about her she reveals to the Main Character — such as her fear of wolves, her favourite flower, etc. These are just a couple of examples of the fantastic work I think Larian has done. End of spoilers ⚠

The problem is that these discoveries and interactions are spread over way too many hours, especially in Act 2, while Act 1 seems denser. The evolution of relationships with the characters doesn't develop organically through many conversations that let you know more about them. It's mostly dependent on their personal quests, leading to many hours of silence or irrelevant dialogues, eventually leaving the feeling that the pacing is off. Even after huge events, there's been a lack of comments by the companions, usually only a couple of lines where you don’t get to answer anything.

Scarcity of Party Banters and Dialogues between Companions

I know it may not look like a big part of the game, but the small interactions between party members can go a long way regarding their characterization and building a sense of cooperation and group dynamics.

Sadly, despite the over 100 hours of gameplay and having reached Act 3, most of the time has been spent in total silence when it comes to the companions. Maybe just three to four interactions in the beginning, but definitely not more. Nevertheless, I can't be sure not to be experiencing a bug that may be causing this problem. In fact, I'm curious to find out what other people's experience has been when it comes to this, because I'm suffering due to this lack of interactions.

Thinking back to games like Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect — which I believe Baldur's Gate 3 to be the closest heir of — there were many more episodes where the party would talk to each other, helping with the immersion in the game's world. Moreover, they helped to flesh out the characters, to make them feel more real, and they were ultimately fun to listen to. This has always been one of the facets of this genre that I loved the most, and it's sad to experience so few interactions while playing Baldur's Gate 3. This feels like a missed opportunity, especially given the huge potential of its wonderful characters and the amazing voice actors who give them life.

The dialogues between Morrigan and Alistair in Dragon Age: Origins were extremely fun and entertaining, giving the illusion that the characters were more than a bunch of polygons and some scripted lines. Not to be forgotten are also the exhilarating interactions between Zevran and Wynne or Shale's rants against pigeons after spending centuries as a statue. And can we not think about the embarrassing and beautifully cringe conversations in the Citadel's escalator in Mass Effect? And these are just a few examples. They may seem like small details in the grand scheme of these games' massive plots, but these details are what make us care for the characters, what we think about with a smile while reminiscing about these games, and what makes these characters feel like old friends who made us laugh, cry, and think. It's strange how Larian has thought of so many other great details with Baldur's Gate 3, but has ultimately skipped this particular aspect of the Role-Playing part of the game.

Just to put it into perspective and give a better idea:

Dragon Age: Origins has almost 3h40' of banter. Party banter | Dragon Age: Origins

Dragon Age: Inquisition has close to 5h30' of banter. Party banter [complete] | Dragon Age: Inquisition

Baldur's Gate 3's early access appeared to have around 20 minutes of banter, and most of it is now in Act 1, while Acts 2 and 3 are especially empty. Party banter | Baldur's Gate 3 [Early Access]

Mutual Exclusion of Character's Interventions During Dialogues

I'm frustrated by the fact that the intervention or the comment by a party member during a dialogue prevents any other comments from any other party member from happening, especially when we know that there won't likely be any others when the dialogue is over and that probably nobody will react to it. I don't feel like this adds to the replayability of the scene or of the game. I think it just gives the sensation of missing out on content and the chance to get to know the characters better. Also, the interactions are so randomised that by reloading the game, we might hear the same line over and over again before someone else says something different. This is different from the feeling that choosing a different answer may open up new paths and lead to a different outcome. This is just a feeling of missing out on content and being locked out from all the possible experiences.

For example, I recently had to reload a dialogue due to terrible dice rolls — I know. Please don't judge me. The Dice Gods have hated me enough already while playing D&D irl. - The first time, I heard a comment by Shadowheart, while the second time Astarion, whom I'm currently romancing, expressed some concern for my character in his usual sarcastic, subtle way. If I hadn't reloaded, I would have missed this small but cute and interesting detail, which is also narratively significant.

Also, there are little to no interactions between the characters in this sense. The dialogue between Astarion and Shadowheart during the scene with Abdirak, Loviatar's follower, is exhilaratingly funny, and I would love to see more interactions like this one.

I love how each character is extremely supportive of the others when something big happens to them. But this is only shown when explicitly interacting with them, never in a spontaneous way between them or through party banter.

Skill Checks Management

We're a party and we're working together: why, for example, shouldn't the big, strong, muscular barbarian be able to intervene when the situation calls for some intimidation or the strength to kick down a door? I really miss this feature in the game, which would help a lot in conveying the sense of teamwork and of belonging to a real D&D-style party.

Party Management

Let's face it, it's tedious to manage the party.

Instead of relying on a quick and easy interface like the one from Dragon Age: Origins maybe, managing all the companions, swapping the equipment, levelling up, and changing who's part of the actual party is a hassle. You need to listen to the same couple of lines every time for each character. This can be fun the first few times, but it gets increasingly tedious as the game progresses.

Closing Remarks

Once again, we'd like to point out that we're exceedingly satisfied with the game. We love it and think it's worth every penny we've paid. Also, Larian deserves all their praise for building such a special and huge game, so far from what the market mistakenly thinks we deserve.

For many years, we hadn't experienced such eagerness to play; days go by thinking about the moment when we'll be turning on the PC, launching the game and getting back into the story. We had surrendered to the idea that, unfortunately, our love towards cRPGs didn’t align with that of most people and the market. We thought we would never play anything like Dragon Age: Origins, Pillars of Eternity, or Divinity Original Sin ever again.

These criticisms stem from our love for the genre and the game itself: we would love to spend more time with it and with its incredible characters.

So Larian, please, we beg you on our knees crying, grant us more content about the amazing characters you gifted us 🙇‍♀️🛐🥺😭

With love, MT, L and whoever agrees: fans of yours ❤

[jynxeddraca]

Thoughts on Where Astarion is From

Going to be a long post. Because there are definitely spoilers for the game in general and probably for Astarion's quest, I'm putting this under a read more.

I've seen in several places now that Astarion is commonly headcanon'd to not be from Baldur's Gate originally. Personally, I really think this makes sense since he's an elf, his parents in theory would still be alive, and - if you stick to the idea he originally was noble/patriar born - he would be recognizable to a lot of people even after being turned. Not only in the city in general but I imagine he helped 'entertain' at Cazador's palace since Cazador did host parties.

An aside, I think this holds true for all of Cazador's 'house' spawn. I know Dalyria formerly was the Physician General to the Parliament of Baldur's Gate but I have a feeling she - like Astarion - probably wasn't in that position terribly long before getting turned so may not have been around long enough for people to really recall her face.

But back to my actual thought: The common thing I see when people headcanon about Astarion's origins before he lived in Baldur's Gate is that he is from Waterdeep, or the surrounding area, because the area used to be home to most of the elves in Faerûn. Just as a note for anyone unfamiliar with where cities are: Waterdeep is 750 miles North of Baldur's Gate, Elturel is officially 200 miles East of Baldur's Gate.

I have an alternate theory: Astarion is from somewhere East of Baldur's Gate. Possibly along the Chionthar.

Why?

Because sometime before the story, at least 100 years ago - and honestly, I think it'd be before he was turned so 200+ years ago - he was in Reithwin Town (the town in Act 2) - and got banned from The Waning Moon.

And this isn't just me making an assumption or coming up with a headcanon. Now, I was too lazy to go find the in-game screenshot that I took and it's on my gaming computer, so this is from the BG3 Wiki - Here's the text when you read the BAN LIST at The Waning Moon:

The text (bold emphasis mine) reads as:

BARRED FROM ENTRY The following EX-customers are UNWELCOME. Do not let them in, even should they beg. ESPECIALLY should they beg. Martin Doughty - human? - chug-and-run Adam Smythe - lascivious behaviour, also known as 'The Pickle Incident' Gerringothe Thorm - SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID Kavin Ort - tall dwarf - exceedingly boring Syrah Bee - short half-elf - vomited on the waiter (purposefully) Unknown elf - pale skin, snide mouth - referring to master distiller as 'the porcine publican' Rochelle Kwark - halfling - groin-punching Yon Von Don (suspected alias) - grotesquely tall human - underpants on head

End screenshot text.

And a second screenshot where the wiki states that the pale elf is Astarion with a link to the source of Kevin VanOrd's twitter. Granted, I do not have an account on twitter so I can't see any posts on twitter and can't confirm the tweet, but I'll post the plain text (no hyperlink) links down below because Tumblr is picky about stuff.

Screenshot Text:

The names on BAN LIST are the writers of Baldur's Gate 3 poking fun at themselves, as confirmed by writer Kevin VanOrd[1]:

'Martin Doughty' (Martin Docherty)

'Adam Smythe' (Adam Smith)

'Kavin Ort' (Kevin VanOrd)

'Syrah Bee' (Sarah Baylus)

'Unknown elf' - Astarion[2]

'Rochelle Kwark' (Rachel Quirke)

'Yon Von Don' (Jan Van Dosselaer)

[1] VanOrd, Kevin. 2023. "As the book's writer I can confirm it was a juicy act indeed. All the names (aside from Gerringothe's, of course) are based on Larian writers. I can literally tag myself as Kavin Ort, the boring dwarf!" [@fiddlecub, Twitter]. 14 Oct 2023. Available from: https://web.archive.org/web/20240329212133/https://twitter.com/fiddlecub/status/1713103283026383083

[2] VanOrd, Kevin. 2023. "And yes the unknown elf is who you think it is." [@fiddlecub, Twitter]. 14 Oct 2023. Available from: https://web.archive.org/web/20231017062203/https://twitter.com/fiddlecub/status/1713103448516812817

End of screenshot text.

Supporting screenshots out of the way, here are my assumptions so far:

He probably did not have lots of time to dedicate for traveling pre-vampirism days just because law school then actually being a magistrate (yes, I am assuming that law school is a thing in Faerûn).

If he was a noble pre-magistrate days, Reithwin wouldn't be a normal destination choice since nothing in the game makes me think it really was anything more than a normal town that just happened to have fallen to horrific events.

Related to first two bullets: my personal thought is that he was probably sub-30 when this ban at The Waning Moon happened.

Cazador didn't/doesn't travel much himself (Astarion calls him 'reclusive' at some point).

I really doubt Cazador lets any of his spawn travel on their own.

What makes most sense to me personally is that he was traveling from home - wherever that is - to Baldur's Gate. Unfortunately the 5e map of Faerûn only list 4 cities along the Chionthar: Baldur's Gate, Fort Morninglord, Elturel, and Scornubel. It shows none of the towns/settlements shown in Act 1 or Act 2 in BG3. Just for reference:

Which probably is just so there is some vagueness for D&D players to add in their own towns since D&D is a giant sandbox. So that's kind of what I'm doing here. Somewhere between Reithwin and The Reaching Woods is a town that Astarion once called home.

[mumms-the-word]

A Macabre Masquerade - Ch. 1

Ch. 1 - An Invitation

Characters: Tavs (multiple), Gale, Astarion, Karlach, Wyll, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Halsin, Minthara + other OCs Plot: One year after defeating the Netherbrain and saving the city, Dani and Gale receive a mysterious invitation to a masquerade ball. The invitation specifically invites them to participate as the Heroes of Baldur's Gate. However, when they get there, they soon realize they aren't the only Heroes of Baldur's Gate that got invited. A/N: You ever wish your Tav and their LI could attend a lush masquerade ball? Are you disappointed that Larian didn't give us the masked event of our dreams, with political intrigue, murder, subterfuge, fine wine, and more importantly, sexy dresses and glittering masks? Yeah, me too. So I decided to write my own. This is a little inspired by the BG3 Fic February prompted for Day 29: "AU of your choice!" But this is going to be a multi-chapter fic that I update every now and again featuring not just my favorite Tav, oh no, but multiple Tavs, some of them my own, and some of them from my friends. Stay tuned to see who shows up!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | BG3 Masterlist | AO3

The invitation had appeared one evening from thin air, without a sound or a flash of light. One moment the silver letter tray that sat on the polished side table in Dani and Gale’s front room was bare and the next there was a letter centered neatly on the tray. Dani only just noticed it on her way to check that their door was locked for the night.

“Gale?” she called, picking up the letter. It was sealed in a thick, creamy envelope, the paper fine and expensive. Her name and his were written in elegant script on the front. Gale and Meridan Dekarios.

“Yes, my love?” he called back from another room. 

“Did anyone come by with a letter this evening?” 

“Not that I’m aware of.” His voice grew closer and he appeared in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. He’d dressed down for the evening, his vest and jacket discarded and the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up. He tilted his head, regarding the envelope in Dani’s hands curiously as she flipped it over to examine the wax seal that held it closed. “Strange. I collected all our letters earlier this afternoon. I would have noticed if I missed one.”

“I know,” she said. “And I didn’t hear anyone knock.”

“Is the seal anyone we know?”

She shook her head, bringing the letter over to show him. The wax seal was pressed with a symbol she didn’t recognize, a strange runic marking that meant nothing to her. It didn’t look like a patriar’s seal, and she would have recognized it if it came from someone like Duke Ravengard, Counsellor Florrick, Nine-Fingers Keene, the Harpers, or any of her other former allies. No, this was something new to her.

“Strange,” Gale murmured again, taking the letter from her hand. “It looks like a magic rune, but it isn’t one I recognize.”

He hovered a hand over it, glowing purple with Weave magic and tinging the envelope with a faint purple aura as well, but it remained unchanged. He frowned, letting the spell fade away and flipping the letter over to examine the writing, and then shrugged. “I can detect some kind of magic on it, but I can’t tell what. But it isn’t cursed or magically sealed, if that’s what you’re wondering. What do you think, my love? Shall we open it and sate our curiosity at last?”

“Oh, sure, why not,” Dani said, wrapping her arms around one of his arms and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Go on, then. Let’s see what the mystery letter says.”

He broke the wax seal and opened the envelope, pulling a folded letter from inside. No, not a letter, Dani realized, as he unfolded it to reveal glossy, gold-embossed swirls around the edges and careful, elegant script in the middle. An invitation. 

“To the great Heroes of Baldur’s Gate. You are cordially invited to attend a masque,” Gale read aloud, his eyebrows quirking upward with interest, “held on the thirteenth of Marpenoth at the summer home of Lord Aubron Dormire. Masks required for entry. Please collect your mask at the Manor Gate between Bloomridge and Manorborn.”

“Dormire? That doesn’t sound like any patriar name I’ve ever heard,” Dani said. But when she looked at the address listed on the invitation, she recognized it as an address in the Manorborn district of the city, where the wealthiest of the wealthy lived. “Interesting. I wonder what they want with us.”

Gale scoffed. “We receive invitations all the time for all sorts of events, my dear. Everyone wants the Hero of Baldur’s Gate at their party.”

“Yeah, but it's been months since we stabbed a big ugly brain to death, darling. I think the interest has died down a little. And it’s heroes, plural. We're both invited.” 

In reality, as Gale had pointed out, the invitations had not really died down in the months since their grand victory. Every day there were new letters from patriars seeking new connections, merchants hoping to make deals, fans who simply wanted to chat, and of course friends and family who were eager to catch up. The fact that this letter had magically appeared from thin air made her a little more inclined to pay attention to it, however, over the usual letters they received.

“The thirteenth of Marpenoth,” she murmured, turning her head so that her cheek rested on his shoulder. Though she was careful, as always, not to poke him with her horns.

"Yes. About a tenday from today."

“No, that's not what I'm thinking about. That’s the anniversary of our defeat of the Netherbrain. Don’t you remember?”

“How could I possibly forget? It was only one of the most significant moments of my entire life.”

And, Dani recalled all too well, one of the moments he’d very nearly given in to Mystra’s command to sacrifice himself. She tightened her hold on his arm, grateful that he hadn’t. That he was still there with her, especially now that he was her charming husband.

“I wonder if that date has anything to do with this event,” she mused. She straightened up. “I should ask Astarion or Shadowheart if they’ve received invitations. Maybe this could be another chance to gather the old party back together. Or most of it, anyway. Lae’zel is still busy...er, somewhere on the Sword Coast and I haven’t heard from Karlach or Wyll in a couple of tendays. I’m half-inclined to get Helsik to open another portal to Avernus for me, if it didn’t mean forking over another heap of gold. Maybe I should just send another sending…”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Gale said. “They looked none the worse for wear six months ago at Withers’ party, so I’m certain another six months won’t have made a difference. Besides. I’m not sure an invitation like this would have made it to Avernus.”

"It made it past your usual arcane lock charm and the deadbolt on the door itself. You don't think a similar invitation could reach Avernus?"

He relented with a shrug. "A fair point. Very well, we'll ask. I'll prepare a few sendings and get the components for the spell ready."

“Perfect. We should also ask Astarion, Shadowheart, maybe Jaheira,” Dani said, ticking names off on her fingers. “Maybe Halsin? Though I can’t see either of the old druids wanting to come to a masquerade. Doesn’t seem like their thing.”

“The real question is whether we are going,” Gale said, finally folding up the letter and tucking it back into the envelope. “Are we?”

Dani shrugged. “Well, why not? Don’t you think it would be fun?”

“It’s a mysterious letter that has shown up as if conjured from thin air, has traces of magic, and is marked with a runic mark as its seal. It could be dangerous. It could be a trap.”

“Exactly,” she said, poking him in the chest. “Fun.”

He sighed and shook his head fondly, wrapping an arm around her waist and drawing her closer to him. “Your idea of fun and mine rarely align, my love," he said, gently tapping the tip of her nose with the envelope in his hand. "But very well. If you wish to go to this masque, we shall go. On one condition.”

Dani looped her arms around Gale’s neck and tilted her head. “Name it, love.”

“I get to dress us both for the occasion.” He grinned down at her. “If we’re to attend a lavish masquerade ball, we should dress the part, don’t you think?”

“Are you promising to take me shopping, Gale Dekarios?” she asked, matching him grin for grin. 

“Of course. Only the finest for Dani Dekarios, my beloved wife.”

"And we'll go to the masquerade? Even if it's a sneaky little trap?"

"We shall indeed." He bent his head to brush a kiss against her lips. "I was just thinking it had gotten a little quiet around here. Perhaps we're overdue for an adventure."

"Be careful what you wish for, my darling," Dani said. "But if it's adventure you want, it's adventure you shall have."

[chainsawmascara]

THINGS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT MY FELLOW WRITERS

Thank you for the tag @lewdisescariot

I tag: @angelosearch @beaubambabey and anyone who wants to participate!

Last book I read: “Merrick" by Anne Rice (i have not finished, it is a slog, I'll finish it eventually), a book chronicling the works of Boticelli, "Go Ask Ogre," I'm in the process of reading "The Rebel" by Camus for the fifth time.

Greatest literary inspirations: John Keats, my former spoken word mentor and activist Jared Paul, William Blake, Anne Rice, Jose Saramago, Albert Camus, insert any 18th and 19th century gothic horror writer here.

Things in my current fandom I want to read but I don't want to write: mutually toxic bloodweave, disgustingly toxic bloodweave, mutually obsessive and manipulative toxic bloodweave, i need them to be their worst selves, i need them to fuck nasty, i need them to take advantage of each other (not sexually but also sexually with consent or begrudging consent to get what they want DO YOU SEE THE VISION)

Things in my current fandoms I want to write but I think nobody would be interested in them but me: Let's focus on bg3. Disgustingly violent, manipulative psychosexual vellioth/cazador. Utter monsters. Twisted power hungry fiends destroying each other where love is too kind, obsession is too shallow, hatred is too soft. Modern aus of them being awful, wretched creatures. Canon compliant awful, wretched creatures. Dead dove do not eat, would get me ostracized, self indulgent horrors.

Modern aus of Astarion being a mess and a menace in every way possible. Everything is wrong with him. He lives with Shadowheart, I need them to be perpetual roommates, she's the only thing keeping him from complete self destruction. His coping skills are atrocious, he cannot be fixed, no one knows how he isn't dead yet. Gale is sometimes moderately better if he's there, they cannot fix each other, there is no magic happy ending. Nobody dies, but they probably should. It doesn't necessarily start as a dumpster fire. It may creep up on you until it's too late and the sunk-cost fallacy has set in. Surprise, it's trauma! It's not pretty trauma! It's not "love can save you" trauma!

Also: long, lyrical canon compliant (mostly) pieces of everyone's suffering, of redemption and damnation, of character studies, of heartwrenching beauty in the tragic fates they cannot escape - they never wanted, leitmotifs in phrasing, a chorus of chosen words, the agony of everything, the love they seek, endless run on sentences, unyielding prose, allegories, their characters boiled down to fever dreams. Symbolic, headspinning, pitiful, reverent, songs that aren't songs, poems that aren't poems, stories that tell themselves yet say nothing without scrutiny, you will leave in awe and madness and hell and hope. Slant rhymes everywhere. It's accidental, it's intentional, it's everything everywhere nowhere at once, it's a spiral, it's linear until it isn't. GOD.

You can recognise my writing by: Please see the above third paragraph.

My most controversial take (current fandom): This answer from my dear friend carries over - "You aren’t better than anyone for hating their favorite character or how they love them. Just let people live."

90% of the Astarion headcanons I see convince me we have not played the same game. He does not become a better person, he is better to you. Ascending him does not remove my sense of irl morality. You're thinking of Wyll, everything you project onto him is a part of Wyll. Astarion is an awful person, he's a mess, he's full of bitter hatred, he needs to kill, he wants everyone to suffer, I love him. Cowards.

Cazador is SO FUCKABLE. He's a horrid, monstrous, contemptible, vile, wicked creature and while i cannot fix him, I can indulge in hedonistic blood filled psychosexual madness and honestly that's close enough for me. Larian, please let him rail me. Cazador romance WHEN. Self preservation? WRONG. Dancing with death for a hellsent vampire.

Top three favourite tropes: "i hate you, i need you." They are suffering, but they are suffering together. "You are so far past saving, yet i will not leave." Bonus: psychosexual obsession, have you figured this out yet, have i made it clear, are we on the same page. DO YOU SEE THE VISION.

What’s your current writing mood (10 – super motivated and churning out words like crazy, 0 – in a complete rut): it's 10, but chronic fatigue/where do i start with this and how does it end, it has to end eventually, I GUESS.

We're working on it.

Share a fandom frustration: As per my last email, refer to the astarion hot take.

[toxicshipsincorporated]

Just curious but has it not been established many times now that Astarion is canonically pansexual? I know for a fact that Neil Newbon has made official statements confirming that Astarion is pansexual. I understand that Larian has backed this up as well? Also, if you don't romance either him or Lae'zel and their both single, they'll sleep with each other on the night of the tiefling party. He will hit on and flirt with Lae'zel, Karlach, and Shart. I'm positive that there's dialogue lines stating that he took both male and female victims to bed. Anyway this is just my long way of saying that Astarion is definitely attracted to women too. It's /canon/ that he's pansexual. So anyone harassing people over romancing him with a female Tav are dumbasses who need to touch so much grass

Honestly anon, like...fuck canon. It very well may be that Astarion has a canon sexual orientation, idk. He seems to be very unsure and disconnected from his sexuality imo. Makes sense since he got turned when he was a teen in elf years and then used as a honey pot for 200 years.

But this is fandom. We are in the realm of "everything's made up and the point don't matter" ya know? So for me, even if Astarion was canonically only into men (which...like this man will still be down to fuck if you're a mindflayer), if a someone wants to write a fic where he falls in love with a female character, who cares! That's how they wanna play with the dolls? Let them.

Other way around, if someone wants to write Astarion as strickly gay, GO FOR IT!! idk why the concept of just....letting ppl do what they want and find/make what them want is so....difficult for ppl.

sorry for the rant anon ahahah

[sky-thoughts]

Baldurs gate 3 : Spoilers

I really need to talk about this game because I have been bawling my eyes out during the climax of Astarions story arc for the past two days. This elven vampire's story really crushed my heart.

Spoiler and trigger warning.

I've read a lot online since I have been fully immersed in this game for the past weeks and I wanted to write down my thoughts. Larian studios really know how to tell a story.

When you first meet Astarion he just seems like an unreliable, selfish, person that always puts himself and his own needs in front of everyone else. To get his approval early you need to be cruel to the ones he view as weak and as the story unfolds he tells you about his master, or abuser. I feel as if his intolerance towards the weak is a mirror of his relationship with his abuser in which he views himself in the weak and despises them for not taking agency against whatever is tormenting them. My view is that he never got help and therefore his anger towards the "weak" you help during your adventure comes from envy, he never got help and he still got where he is today.

This is my analysis on his first impression because it resonated so deeply with me since this is how I've viewed the world for so long before.

After a while he seduces you (or tries to) with sex. As time passes you learn that his former master Cazador used him to lure victims into his lair. When you gain Astarions trust after you've had a meeting with a drow that wants him to bite her and you let him say no since he doesn't want to a really beautiful scene is presented. Astarion says it would've been so easy to just "go along" with what you told him to do, "a little self disgust and then carry on as normal" but that when you told him you don't wanted him to do anything he didn't want to he felt seen and cared for, for the first time. He had to use his body as an instrument and after this he doesn't want to have sex anymore because it reminds him of the abuse and he feels disgusted with himself. For him, sex had never been about pleasure or feelings, only a means to achieve a goal. This was such a heartbreaking scene.

And lastly, onto his meeting with Cazador, the scene that left me bawling my eyes out. Fucking hell this story broke my heart.

Astarion has been deadlocked on revenge. Honestly I've always basked in daydreams of revenge and violence to keep myself calm. I hate how the world is and all the hate it in, it makes me lose hope in all humans and this is also Astarions view. We get to read a diary of Cazadors master and how he taught him about violence, solitude, and fear to keep your power and only viewing everyone as subordinates, not letting anyone become you equal. It was also his that go him killed, ironically, when Cazador overthrew him.

Astarion finally faces his master and defeats him. When he pulls him out of the coffin you can persuade him not to do the ritual that his master wanted him and all the other victims for. You tell Astarion that "This won't set you free, you'll only become like Cazador" and continue the circle of violence. Astarion sees this and then says "but I'm not above this" as he stabs his master while laughing. Then he starts crying, as if the sweetness of revenge left him too fast. I honestly broke down here because you can live on the anger and it is the only thing that keeps your spark alive but once you've got your revenge it all goes away. You'll have to start living and move on but you haven't known any other feeling than anger for years, it has been all you've been, your whole identity. And when you ask Astarion how he feels he says "It's so much, all I've lost, all I've gained, I honestly feel a bit numb." He finally got his revenge, all that anger bursted out in that stabbing, and the will that got him going aswell. He needs to find a new reason to keep on going, to truly start living for himself and finding a reason by yourself is nearly impossible when all you've learned is anger.

Thank you Larian studios for this game, you'll be hearing from my therapist.