#i know it’s hard to follow fics when there’s not consistent updates so it truly means so much to me

[alltoowille]

writing update :)

-i know i said painter au chapter 9 was nearly finished but then i … decided to essentially rewrite it lol (i’m much happier with it now it’ll be worth the extra wait) it’s still not finished but i’m back in the groove and making good progress now

-i wrote a oneshot that people seem to really be enjoying! you know i love a little wilmon confronting trauma moment

-lake house .. so sorry to my lake house stans but editing it is tedious and i really don’t want to update until i’ve edited the past chapters, plus i think chapter 10 may need some rewrites so i’m not sure when she’ll be out but i promise it’s not abandoned! bear with me 😫

-lastly: i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up but twitter got ahold of my maddierosh fic and really loved it so there’s been some … ideas for a follow up bouncing around in my little brain … it’s not my priority but sometimes i like to churn out a oneshot if i’m struggling with my longer pieces so who knows

thank you for your patience; and if you want faster updates i swear almost every comment i receive genuinely spurs me to open my google docs app and keep going in that very moment so do not underestimate the effectiveness of dropping a short lil comment on an old piece if you’re feeling impatient <3

[boxofbonesfic]

"why am i even bothering to write and post anything at all?"

"ngl that makes me not want to post anymore lmfao"

Because you have people reading???? Like tf? I'm not trying to be rude, but while you are lamenting over racist people not reading your work (as are other writers that I follow) don't forget about the people who do engage, read, comment, send ask, gently requesting updates to stories because writers get pissed off if updates are demanded, and champion your writing. Some of us actively searched for black writers and stories.

I understand wanting a lot of engagements, I do, but I'm starting to feel shafted as a reader who is doing all the things these writers ask for and yet read these posts in which the writers threatened to quit writing fics because there's only 100 notes. Have you looked through the notes? Do you not see familiar usernames over and over again? So it's not many of us, and that is truly unfortunate, but the group is loyal. Stray words and so many others have already left.

Just like you're feeling unappreciated as a writer, I'm feeling unappreciated as a reader because yall (poc writers) essentially tell me there is nothing more that I can do to make you feel wanted enough to stay.

I'm sorry you feel like this, but the reality is that we're black. Whether in real life or digital, this is how the world treats us. We will have to work harder for less. It shouldn't be like this, but life aint been fair to us for centuries now. I do what you ask, so I ask that you focus on the small group of us that follow your writing through.

…i’m sorry that people sending me racist asks effects me? i’m human, too? i’m a person too? like i’m not made of stone, people being cruel to me does hurt me, it does leave lasting effects on my mental health? i didn’t threaten to quit writing, i talked about how that ask, combined with my ever decreasing engagement made me feel.

of course i look through my notes. conversely, do you see me responding to comments? asks? i’ve posted several times now about trying to commit to a more regular update schedule, about finishing my outstanding work. have you not seen any of that? i’m not leaving, but am i not allowed to speak on my experience? i’ve been back a week, and i’m already getting racist anons.

chastising me for being human and feeling a way when people are cruel to me is not how you get consistent updates, nor is it how you encourage me to stick it out. just because that’s the reality doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t make it easier as a black content creator. i’m trying to be here, to update consistently, to be the change i want to see, but it is fucking hard, it is painful, and i’m sorry that you don’t like hearing that. feel free to follow my library blog to avoid it, i only reblog updates and new work there.

we have a saying in Jamaica: “pressure bust pipe”. i’m sorry black authors have been dropping like flies, but we are people. how much are we supposed to take without saying anything? i really don’t know what else to say other than that i’m trying.

sorry.

[sophsicle]

hi soph, i‘m writing this just because i feel like you oftentimes feel as if you owe anyone an update? i saw ur post rn and i wanted to tell you that you.do.not.owe.us.an.update, it‘s not as if anyone is paying you for your work on ao3, or as if you have some type of obligation, if you wanted to you could take a 3 month long hiatus and still no one would get to tell you „hey when’s the update coming!! hurry up!!“ that’s fucked up and i hope you realise that you‘re worth more than you put out on the internet, you don’t owe anyone SHIT

first and foremost you should be writing when YOU feel like it and when YOU are inspired and motivated to

sorry for the rant ❤️❤️

Thank you this is very nice!

Honestly, it doesn't bother me usually when people either ask for updates here or if they comment on the fic they like and say "update when?" because cool, it's nice that you're invested! it means a lot that you care! it's just when they're going into other fics to be like "why not update something else?" that it starts to feel kind of shitty.

and i DO get it. really i do. i am a feelings writer not a planner and so dealing with that as a reader i can imagine is annoying cause like. where is the schedule? what are we doing here? it is truly based on the whims of my tiny scatter brained heart. and i really do want to try and update as consistently as possible because i know it gets hard to follow a story if there are month gaps between chapters.

BUT also. im just having fun y'know? and i feel a little bit like people are forgetting the fun silly goofiness of this space

[writingkitten]

Hey there! I'm a little nervous here, but I wanted to let you know that out of all the people I follow on Tumblr, you're the only one whose posts I have notifications turned on for. Your fanfics are just so good that I can't help but stay updated on your latest stories. Even when I'm having a tough day, reading your work always brightens my mood. On behalf of all your fans, I want to say thank you for all the hard work and creativity you put into your writing. You're truly amazing, and we appreciate you more than you know. We love you, and we will be here for you.

So this is the anon I mentioned in my previous post, and I was not over-exaggerating when I said I was crying. Putting the rest of this under “read more”.

I struggle with a lot of things, one of which is self-esteem. Part of that is worrying that I’m not a good writer (as has been seen in some of my posts on here). Just the other day, I got a rejection letter for my script, and today I received another. Good feedback, but it wasn’t good enough. And that often hurts me because my writing and I feel one and the same. So, I’ve spent a lot of time recently thinking that I’m just not good enough.

My professional work is waaaaay more polished than my fics, and, I think, better. I think my professional work is tied to my professional self, and thus my fics are the unpolished reality of me.

That’s really deep I didn’t mean to go that far.

My point? You guys consistently and willingly show up for me, and that shows me that I am good enough. Complete strangers come read my stuff, keep up with it, send amazingly sweet asks like this one to my inbox? There’s something about my writing, about me, that’s worth your (however brief) attention, and that means more to me than you could ever realize or than I could ever express.

I hit 400 followers a couple days ago, and I wasn’t going to mention in it because I don’t really care, but that was before this ask. This blog is for me, but it’s also for y’all, and the fact that there’s now OVER 400 of you?! Wow wow wow. Over 400 friends (I’m sure some blog aren’t used anymore but still). We should celebrate. I’ll figure something out, I promise.

Anon, I went off track. Thank you for letting me get all that out, for giving me a little place to say all of this. And thank you for how sweet the message was. I’m suddenly feeling very shy about all of this idk if I should’ve dumped all that out, I’m gonna post just to stop myself from deleting this on accident thank you so much anon I am hugging you

[fieldsofview]

Spider-Man: Homesickness UPDATE

The following text is copied from my AO3

Hey, y'all. This is going to be a long and rambling life update for a moment. TLDR: The epilogue won't be posted until mid/late August, but it is coming. Keep reading if you're so interested in the *why*, otherwise, I'll see you then.

I know that, until now, I've been very consistent in keeping updates on time. And I know it's likely frustrating for you all to have to wait for the epilogue, and for that I apologize. It's coming, I promise. I just want to make sure I do it justice and do my best, and my life has not allowed for that right now. My personal life has been kind of a wreck these last few weeks. To start, I had a long stretch of time where I was covering extra shifts for my coworker who was in the hospital, which meant a lot of doubles (My usual 4PM-midnight followed by the midnight-8AM shift, with only a few hours after to go home and sleep before doing it all over again.) This is when I was drafting the previous chapter, and I did do my best to keep working on all of this but I was drastically limited in the time I had. During and following all of this, my cat, Aya, got very sick very fast. Within about 2 weeks, she went from being a perfectly healthy 5-year-old cat at her yearly physical exam, to having such extreme symptoms from a mystery illness that she was interned in a specialty Vet clinic's ICU for several days, needing a feeding tube, intravenous medication, and 24-hour care. Ultimately, despite the thousands of dollars I spent, four different veterinarians, and countless tests, no one could figure out what was wrong with her. She has since passed and her ashes should hopefully return to me within the week. Because of the timing of it all, just a few days later I left for a trip out of state to visit my elderly grandparents for their 85th birthday celebration with my extended family (There are nearly 40 of us) that I could not reschedule or miss, and I've been there for the last week. It's a 18-hour journey each way and I've spent most of the trip assisting my father with care of my younger brother or assisting my cousin with her three kids under 5. I've had no time for writing whatsoever. I've barely had time to breathe, let alone grieve the loss of my cat who I have had since she was a tiny kitten and who passed so suddenly and so violently that it has stuck with me in a way that previous pet deaths have never done. Her sister and her were so closely bonded and it's been heartbreaking to see her so confused as to why Aya has never come home. And now I've had to leave her with my roommates while I'm gone and she's been acting skittish and scared around them in a way she never has before. I only hope when I return in a few days she'll forgive me. I haven't started writing the epilogue yet. As many of you pointed out in the comments here and on my Tumblr (that I truly haven't had the capacity to respond to), the last chapter did not quite feel right or sit in the way you wanted. I stand by the events of the chapter, but because it was basically my rough draft with almost no editing, it's lacking the subtlety and nuance it deserves, and it's missing some details it should have had. I love this fic with all my heart and I want it to be a project I can finish and leave in a way that I am proud of. So, I will be spending the next few weeks taking the time I need for myself, and then I will be spending the time to make any edits to the entire story that I feel are necessary for it to be its best. Once that's done, I'll publish the epilogue. A version that is final and that I can be proud of, whether or not anyone else likes it. Because I know the last chapter was not my best work, it's been hard to sit with those comments and accept them, despite knowing the circumstances surrounding them. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this project, and thank you for your patience as I make sure this is the best it can be. My hope is that I can post the epilogue in about one month, as I approach the year mark from when I first started drafting this fic, but I will take it day by day to ensure it's the best it will be. I will delete this "chapter" once the epilogue is posted. 

[dragonnan]

Sharing Saturday - a List of Fic Recs

I haven’t restricted this to a number but I’m also doing my best to keep it from going out of control, too.  I pretty much just have 2 consistent fandoms that I read/write so if you like either the MCU or Sherlock then this is the post for you!

MCU:

Adventures Throughout the Multiverse (Series) by Aelaer Jumping into different dimensions always involves risk. Sometimes you never know what sort of troubles you will run into until you have arrived. Thankfully, alongside these dangers a sorcerer is sometimes lucky enough to come upon unexpected allies.

In which Stephen encounters characters from characters from JRR Tolkien to even his own doppelgänger in Sherlock Holmes. I LOVE these!! Not only supremely clever and lovingly researched but just straight up entertaining as fuck!  @aelaer writes some of the best Doctor Strange fic that I’ve read on on top of all that is a spectacular artist besides!

Omertà by HanukoYoukai After chasing down the criminal that took Uncle Ben's life, Peter is found by James Wesley, the right-hand man of Wilson Fisk--a wealthy businessman trying to clean up Hell's Kitchen. Having left a strong impression on the man, soon Peter finds himself working for Fisk, doing an internship for his business projects by day, and catching bad guys at night. If Mr. Fisk wants a few specific criminals delivered to him personally, who is Peter to object? All his boss wants to do is talk, after all, and ever since this internship began, things were finally looking up for the Parkers. Then Peter hears the whispers in the underworld about the elusive and terrifying Kingpin, and somehow there are rumors that Spider-Man is on the Crime Lord's payroll. When he decides to use his own judgement and go against Mr. Fisk's wishes, Peter suddenly finds himself neck deep in mob activity with no means to get himself out. To make matters worse, now Iron Man has Peter in his sights.....

I LOVE her writing - the interpretations of Peter Parker and fantastic and do right by him in a big way.  Peter is actually the teenager I expect to encounter - with all of the nuance and emotion that I want to see!  On top of that THIS is some top notch Tony Stark - again, very true to canon with his Stark snark intact!

Identity Saga (Series) by KitCat992 An organically developed, platonic slow-burn of Avengers-fam dynamic with a heavy hand of Irondad & Spiderson. Throw in an overdose of whump, a couple of cunning villains and a big-bad hiding in the shadows, and you got yourself this hot mess.

Another stunning Peter Parker writer and OH my gosh if you are an IronDad fan and haven’t read this yet like what in THE hell are you doing?? Strap that seatbelt tight and paste your eyeballs to this series you will NOT be disappointed!

A Twisted Upheaval (WIP) by silentsaebyeok “I’m afraid, Harrison, you’ve awakened a sleeping giant.” Wilson said. “Tony Stark will do anything and everything to protect those he loves. And with your carelessness, it is inevitable that my criminal empire will be brought to its knees. This is your last opportunity, your last chance to get this right. He is on our radar now.” -- The Kingpin runs the criminal underworld. He is the mastermind and the puppeteer. Tony Stark has been trying to find the elusive gangster for years, but with no luck. But then Peter Parker is kidnapped by an agent of the Kingpin’s, revealing the cracks in an otherwise unshakeable organization. Unlikely alliances form and friendships are made as the criminal underworld begins to unravel.

*Smacks my desktop* THIS story!! It isn’t even completed yet but this fic is top level epic! This one, along with Omertà, got me totally hooked on Wilson Fisk interfering with both Peter and Tony and boy does it deliver on those dynamics!!

Sherlock:

Got My Eye on You (Series) by 7PercentSolution These stories cover just about everything from Greg's POV, from the first day they met when Sherlock was 17 through the pre-John years, John's arrival, their work together, the fall and the reunion, covering events in broadcast series 1-3 (and 4 eventually). If you ever wondered why Greg Lestrade was one of the three people Moriarty targeted, this is your answer. 

Frankly I love everything I’ve read so far - the stories are incredible and deep and not afraid to dig into hard subjects.  There is a wealth of backstory and Sherlock’s younger years and all the hardships he dealt with.  I’m especially in love with the OC, Sam - what a treasured character!

It takes John Watson to save your life. by Sparkypip A series of One shots where John saves Sherlock's life in so many ways. Will be updated sporadically as and when I get any time to write. As always I like my characters hurt, so plenty of angst, H/C, whump and bromance (no slash) will ensue. Please comment if you can.

These were some of the first Sherlock fics I ever read and I have been hooked on this writer to this day!  SO satisfyingly whumpy and on top of that many of the stories have their own comfort follow up story!!

A Sharp, Dressed Man 'verse (Series) by sgam76

I just love this series to bits and while the author considers is a break from heavier subjects, don’t for one second think that means it can’t take a deep dive into its own mythology nor deliver a freaking spectacular tale!  I have loved vampire AU for a long time and this series is pure delight and hits every damn button for me! You want a cool interpretation of vampires? BAM! You want family dynamics to the extreme? BAM AGAIN!  You want exploration of creature angst? BAM BAM BAAAAM!!! I’ve already read through these three or five times and I can promise I will do so again!

The Chemist by TheGracefulBlueCat Sherlock returns to Baker Street and faces detox. But he feels too exhausted and bad to go through it fully conscious, so he - once more - uses his mind palace to distract him with an old case. But due to his drug issues and the tension between him and John things don't work as smoothly as everyone hoped they would, confronting Sherlock and all his friends with more of their demons than they would have liked to.

This writer is absolutely on-point with the writing of these characters - especially Sherlock.  It was primarily through this writing that I felt I got such a good view of why the interpretation of Sherlock as autistic makes sense - but that it is the only truly logical conclusion. Not to mention the fanart @ceruleanmindpalace (same person) creates will leave you breathless!!   

Who You Really Are (Series) by EnglandsGray So very like her, to take something he would otherwise find inconsequential – boring – and transform it into something he couldn’t live without...For Sherlock, after Sherrinford, none of the worlds he inhabits will ever be the same again. He can see a way to rebuild, but he is terrified.  For Molly Hooper, strength is something she feels she is losing by the day, but the time has come for her to stand her ground.

Ohhhh my gosh like deep dive right into the pit of angst! And yet so soft and precious.  This first story of the series is one that I’m still going through and it is unbelievably rich and welling with delicious plot stuff and relationship and hurt/comfort and just - you gotta read iiit!!!

He Is Different, This One by ASilvergirl How would the Serbian "interrogation" go if his captors knew that Sherlock was neuroatypical and had synaesthesia? This is an alternate version of the scene from "The Empty Hearse."

I mean, how could I not love this fic? For the record I’m still not even a little bit tired of fics that explore what may have happened in Serbia.  It is just one of the most unresolved moments in  the series - going from that damn beating to him walking in on John like I NEED MOOORE!!! And this fic gives me SO much more than I could have expected!  Plus I’m always doubly onboard with a story that depicts Sherlock as neuroatypical.

There are sooooo many more fics I could link!! As it is I’ve been at this for about 3 hours and I’m dropping to the floor.  But to see the rest of the stories I’ve loved please check out my bookmarks!

[sparklyfairymira]

Prompt & Fic Updates (Updated 5/9)

Because I have a lot of fics and prompts upcoming, here is a list so you can see what's in queue and when my WIPs are set to update. Generally speaking, I will stick to this schedule as much as a I can, though it might change from time to time.

A HEART PERMANENTLY BOUND TO YOU

BELLARKECAVE

Chapter 3 (Final): 6/23/21

BETWEEN THE FIRE AND THE FLAME

CLURPHAMY

Chapter 3 (Final): 6/30/21

WAIT 'TIL I GET MY MONEY CH 1

BELLARKE/MINTY/HARPHY Chapter 3: 7/7/21 Chapter 4: 7/21/21 Chapter 5: 8/18/21 Chapter 6: 9/1/21 Chapter 7: 9/13/21

HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE (WHO HAD A SECRET TO HIDE)

BELLARKE/MURVEN

Chapter 2: 7/14/21 Chapter 3: 8/9/21 Chapter 4: 8/25/21

YOUR HEARTBEAT NEXT TO MINE

BELLARKE

Chapter 7: 6/25/21 Updating every Friday

UPCOMING PROMPTS

See below the cut for my upcoming prompts

FIND ME IN THE DARKNESS

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: 6/26/21

Seelie Princess Clarke is set to marry Unseelie Prince Wells, her childhood friend as has been arranged since their birth, but there is nothing less in the world that she wants to do. So she decides to run from the court but somehow ends up in the Shadow Court—somewhere that no Seelie should ever be. But then she meets the King of the Shadow Court Bellamy and something is drawing her to him. Bellamy can’t believe his luck with one of his subjects shows up at his door with a Seelie Fae and not just any Seelie, it turns out, but the Seelie Princess. He thinks that he’ll be able to use her to finally have his court recognized by the other two. He wasn’t expecting her to be his soulmate but as soon as their eyes lock, he knows. And he knows that he can never let her leave him.

COLD SWEAT

ROARKE

Expected publication date: 7/3/21

Clarke is a nurse who works hella late nights in the ER and walks home. She’s attacked one night while walking home — nothing happened because a (tall, muscular) stranger happened to be nearby and pulled the guy off her. But the man in question, Roan she learns, tells her that if she’s going to walking home in the city at night she should learn how to protect herself. So she signs up for a self-defense class...and Roan ends up being the instructor. He teaches her how to defend herself, and she starts growing more confident in herself in general. Confident enough to ask him out after class one day. Let’s just say they never make it to their dinner reservation.

TIL DEATH

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: 7/10/21

Clarke falls in love with Bellamy the moment she lays eyes on him. He's smart and handsome and has a fire inside of him that she finds mesmerizing. Sure, he's always been secretive, but his secrets are a small price to pay for his love. But then she learns what those secrets are, and suddenly the price doesn't seem so small. He's not what she thought he was, and even though she loves him, she plots to take him down

JUST KEEP BREATHING

BELLARKE/MINTY/MURVEN

Expected publication date: 7/17/21

Their group consists of six. Bellamy, a convict with a thirst for revenge. Miller, a sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager. Monty, a runaway with a privileged past. Raven, a spy known as the Wraith. Clarke, a Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums. Murphy, a thief with a gift for unlikely escapes. Somehow they managed the impossible heist only to be backstabbed and Raven to be kidnapped. They get Raven back and they get their revenge but nothing ever comes for free. "We were all supposed to make it, " Monty says softly. Maybe they'd been naive but they had never questioned their survival—no matter how dicey the situation seemed. But Bellamy is dying in Clarke's arms—the only place he wants to be—and Raven is telling her that she has to accept it. Only Clarke knows that she doesn't have to. She may not have the jurda parem but it's already changed her powers. She can do this. She knows she can. She pulls on all of the power that she can and forces it into Bellamy's body as the last breath leaves his lips. Or a Six of Crows AU that picks up at the end of Crooked Kingdom with slightly different results.

REMEMBER THOSE WALLS I BUILT (WELL, BABY, THEY'RE TUMBLING DOWN)

BELLMORI

Expected publication date: 7/19/21

Emori isn't the sentimental type. When you grow up the way she did, you tend to learn to not get attached to things. When you get attached, that opens you up to loss. And she's had about all the loss she can handle. But then she meets Bellamy. He's a grad student at NYU, this hot book nerd whose hair is always a mess and who comes to her bar to do homework like some sort of weird. Says he grew up basically in a bar, and the background noise helps him focus when his apartment gets too quiet. And he's...not her type. He's got kind eyes and his hair is always a mess and he's getting a master's so he can teach history and he wants to travel the world to see all of the places he's going to teach students about in person. He wears his heart on his sleeve and makes stupid jokes and chats with everyone he sees. Meanwhile, she's got hard edges and a rough exterior no one's ever gotten close enough to even try to crack. Well, no one until Bellamy. And the closer he gets, the more she starts to think maybe the risk of opening up is worth the reward...

WELCOME TO TEMPTATION

BELLARKE/CLURPHY/ROARKE

Expected publication date: 7/24/21

Riot Night changed Clarke’s life forever. A gang war between the Grounders and the Reapers had reached a head that night. The first riot began at the abandoned amusement park where Clarke and Raven were attending an underground MMA fight. Clarke makes sure that Raven gets away but finds herself in danger only to be rescued by three extremely attractive mystery men. Three mystery men that framed her as the ringleader of Riot Night. It’s eleven months later and she is coming back to Arkadia for the first time in the eight months since she was acquitted of all charges. As she arrives at her mother’s house she discovers that the three mystery men are her new housemates and they have no intentions of leaving. Now all that she desires to revenge—no matter the cost. When she finds herself in danger it is her new housemates that vow to keep her safe. Can Clarke learn to trust Bellamy, Murphy, and Roan? Does she need to trust them to sleep with them? Because it has been a long eleven months of celibacy and they are all stupidly hot. Based on the Madison Kate series, a reverse harem enemies-to-lovers story involving lots of sex and lots of violence.

Will be added to WIP list w/ expected publication dates after the first chapter is posted.

THE AFFAIR

MEMORI

Expected Publication date: 7/31/21

Murphy is married to Clarke Griffin, a hotshot doctor who's on her way to becoming the youngest chief of surgery ever at Arkadia Memorial. But their marriage is more show than anything these days, and neither of them is in love anymore. She's constantly at work, and he's left to his own devices. That is until he meets Emori at one of Clarke's hospital galas. The affair they startup is supposed to be fun, a bit of distraction from Murphy's otherwise mundane life. But then real feelings develop, and he isn't sure how he's supposed to tell Clarke that he thinks he's found the one...and it's not her.

IT'S YOU (IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU)

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: August

Clarke, Princess of the Arkadian ocean, and Bellamy, Prince of the Mecha sea, were not supposed to ever meet—let alone fall in love. There were engagements to uphold, treaties to sign, and wars to win. But they do meet and they fall in love—deciding to leave it all behind. Before they can run away together their two kingdoms unite to banish the princess and the prince to separate oceans, to separate their souls, despite the sea witch's warnings. But soulmates always find a way back to one another. Can Bellamy and Clarke find each other and right a wrong from centuries ago?

Will be added to WIP list w/ expected publication dates after the first chapter is posted.

THE ANIMAL AWAKENS

LINCTAVIA

Expected publication date: August

Growing up Octavia never understood why the foxes would follow her around. It wasn't until she hit her teen years that she learned that she was a Kitsune—the Queen of the Kitsune. In a world where the supernatural is viewed as evil, she has to learn how to rule her people but also how to live in the world into which she was born. Lincoln is a dragon shifter—a warrior with one purpose: wipe out the Kitsunes. He doesn't know why their two people are at war but he has never approved. When he meets Octavia it is easy to forget that their people are enemies. Can true love overcome everything for these natural enemies?

PIECE BY PIECE

LINCTAVIA

Expected publication date: August

Octavia's father left when she was just six years old, leaving her feeling unloved. It is her big brother Bellamy that picks her up and helps her put herself back together again. He is the first man to show her that they don't always leave and that she isn't unlovable. Octavia begins modeling in her teens and her father shows up under the guise of catching up and getting to know one another—but really all he wants is money. Luckily her stepdad Marcus is there to help her put herself back together again. He's the second man to show her that they don't always leave and that she isn't unlovable. When Octavia meets actor Lincoln she is cautious, afraid to put herself out there but he wins her over. And then they're married and starting a family. When she gives birth to their daughter she vows that she will never be like her father and it is Lincoln that shows her what it truly means to be a father. Inspired by "Piece by Piece" by Kelly Clarkson

REVENGE

CLURPHY

Expected publication date: August

Clarke and Murphy grew up together and they caused a lot of trouble together in their teens. They left Arkadia as soon as they were both eighteen and set out to make lives for themselves. They turned to robbery for an easy way to get some cash, but then a job goes wrong and Clarke gets caught and Murphy just runs. She’s spent the last six years in jail and he’s never once come to see her. Now she’s out and she wants revenge. But as soon as her eyes land on him, all those old feelings come back and she can’t decide which is stronger—her love for him or her need for revenge.

NOT EVIL, JUST HURT

LINCTAVIA

Expected publication date: August

When Octavia discovered her powers to control the weather she had been excited but a little overwhelmed. She tried to teach herself how to use them since there were no sorcerers or sorceresses in her village. Unfortunately, she’d lost control and massacred her entire village—her mother and brother included. When she was found out they tried to kill her, spewing hate and telling her that she is a monster. So she became the monster that they accused her of being. Years later when she meets a soldier named Lincoln who has been injured, something happens that she never expected—the ice around her heart begins to melt. Lincoln isn’t afraid of her and he is kind to her. She doesn’t understand it but she finds herself falling hard.

CUTS DEEP DOWN THROUGH YOUR CHEST (INTO YOUR SOUL)

BROARKE

Expected publication date: September

Bellamy and Clarke have been married for five years and they're just as happy as the date they got married. They love their jobs, their dog, their friends, their life. When Clarke's childhood friend Roan begs Clarke to be his date to his mom's wedding, she and Bellamy decide what's the harm—especially with Roan willing to foot the bill and pay her for her time. Bellamy's only condition is that he goes to. Roan agrees which should be the end of it—until the couple realizes that they're falling for Roan.

CITY OF CLOUDS

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: September

Clarke found the staircase in the middle of the woods—a place she’s been a million times before and it had never been there. Something was drawing her to them and as she climbed and climbed, clouds began to appear around her. When she pushes through the door she finds herself in a whole new world. Bellamy welcomes her to the City of Clouds and explains that the only way she could have found her way there is if she was looking for an escape. Clarke doesn’t want to admit it but she was looking for an escape from the pressures of her life—her mother’s expectations and pressure to marry Finn. It was all just too much. The City of Clouds is beautiful and she’s never known a place like it. And she’s never known a man like Bellamy before. And now she’s not sure that she ever wants to go home.

HOT & COLD

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: September

Clarke, the Winter Queen, has only ever known cold and logic. Bellamy, the Summer King, has only ever known warmth and emotions. When their two realms suddenly start bleeding into one another they have to figure out how to stop it. If they happen to fall for one another in the process, who can blame them? Can he teach her how to feel? Can she teach him how to use his head and his heart?

THE CRUEL PRINCESS

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: September

Bellamy Blake was seven years old when his mother was murdered and he and his sister were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, and Bellamy desires nothing more than to belong there but many of the fey despise humans. Especially Princess Clarke, the youngest and wickedest daughter of the High Queen. To win a place at the Court, Bellamy must defy her and face the consequences. Consequences deep down he's not ready to face—like falling in love with Clarke even though he can't stand the mere sight of her. A Cruel Prince AU

FORBIDDEN

MURVEN

Expected publication date: October

The sorceress of Arkadia, Raven, has only one job—to keep Prince Murphy alive until his coronation. There have been multiple attempts against his life and it has been decided that she is best equipped to protect him. She takes him far from the palace so that she can protect him. What she wasn’t expecting was to fall into bed and then in love with him.

BORN WITH TRAGEDY IN HER BLOOD

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: October

Clarke is the beloved queen of Arkadia and when Azgeda declares war on Arkadia, she is right there beside her soldiers fighting. During a battle, she is wounded and she’s not sure that she will survive but a man rescues her and nurses her back to health. Bellamy tells her of the chaos that the world has become since she went missing—water turning to blood & crops dying. It seems that there is some kind of curse on the land. Clarke immediately tries to drag herself from bed but she can’t even stand. Eventually, he agrees to see her home so that she can right their lands. And if he’s a little bit in love with her, who can blame him?

SOULMATE AU

BELLARKE/MINTY/MURVEN

Expected publication date: October

A continuation of chapter 39 of "We are all caught in the in between (Of what's real and what's a dream?)"

CONTINUATION/EPILOGUE OF A WALKING DREAM OF LIFE AND LIGHT (HATH LEFT ME BROKEN-HEARTED)

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: October

A continuation/epilogue for my fic A waking dream of life and light (hath left me broken-hearted)

SUPERNOVA GIRL

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: October

Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century AU — Clarke grew up on the Ark with her parents and loves everything about her life in space. But after getting into trouble one too many times, her parents are sending her to spend some time on Earth with her Aunt Diyoza. To say Earth is a huge culture shock would be an understatement. But things begin to look up once she manages to make some friends, especially Bellamy, the cute boy who is fully fascinated by her life living among the stars. Everything is actually going great until Clarke discovers something that puts life on her beloved space station in jeopardy.

DARK MAGIC AU

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: November

Arkadia, once a prosperous land filled with magic is slowly crumbling beneath the darkness that spreads from the forest that borders their lands—the magic all but lost and forgotten. As the darkness spreads, Arkadians begin to sicken and die. Following his mother's death and his sister falling ill, Bellamy decides that he shall brave the darkness and destroy Wanheda. Wanheda, the Commander of Death, used to have another name—Princess Clarke of Arkadia. In order to keep her people and her lands from being overwhelmed by evil, she took it upon herself to keep the darkness at bay. Into the forest, she went and made her home in a tower far from anyone and everyone that she has ever known. For centuries she has taken the darkness into herself to save her people and it has slowly been seeping into her soul until she has forgotten her former self. Now all she knows is the darkness. Can Bellamy save Arkadia and Clarke?

WEREWOLF AU

BELLARKE

Expected publication date: November

Clarke bought a little cabin in the woods so that she could get out of the city. She just can’t do all of the people and all of the constant going anymore. Everything is going well until she gets bit by a wolf and then on the next full moon, she turns into a wolf herself. She’s scared and confused—not to mention lost—when the black wolf finds her. She immediately knows that he’s like her—a werewolf. He helps her through the night until they fall asleep under the stars. When they wake up naked, she finds out that the black wolf is a very hot guy named Bellamy who has a proposition for her. Bellamy was born a werewolf, a gene passed down by his mom. He was raised as part of the pack and Marcus, the pack leader, was training him to take over when the time came. But then another pack came and killed most of their pack. Those that they didn’t kill they took prisoner—his sister being one of them. The only reason he’s alive is that Marcus had sent him out of state to meet with another pack. He knows that the wolf that bit Clarke is in this pack because he’d been watching her when she got bit—he just hadn’t been fast enough to stop it. Bellamy tells Clarke that he can help her get revenge on the man that turned her into a werewolf as long as she helps him get his people back. She doesn’t hesitate, her thirst for revenge and blood running too deep.

MERMAID AU

LINCTAVIA

Expected Publication Date: November

Lincoln sets sail one week following his wedding to Octavia, promising to return in six months, leaving her with nothing but a paper boat. It's been two years and everyone thinks he's dead. But then rumors reach her of a man who looks likes her dead husband, swimming in the sea—with a tail instead of legs. So she steals her brother's boat and sets off to find her husband.

UNTITLED

BELLARKE/CLEXA

Expected publication date: November

Clarke finds herself in love with two people: Bellamy and Lexa. Neither of them can stand one another and it's probably at least in part due to the fact that she refuses to choose between them. Tired of the pair's fighting she tricks them both into coming over at the same time and tells them that she will not choose. If they cannot get along then they can both leave. It's either both or neither of them. Reluctantly they get to know one another and realize that maybe the other isn't so bad.

UPCOMING OTHER

TRY AND STAY OUT OF YOUR HEAD SERIES (MURVEN HOLIDATE AU SERIES)

Holidate AU. FWB. June holiday. Expected Publication Date: 6/28/21

Holidate AU. FWB. July holiday. Expected publication date: 7/12/21

Holidate AU. FWB. August holiday. Expected publication date: 8/23/21

[saintobio]

hello. how did you start gaining engagements to your fics? i know your fics are really awesome (i read them all 🥰) but i just found your account because you are big and is getting notes and past through my dash. i kinda hate some writers who always say that “writing should be fun, that you should not think about your followers”. well, absolutely yes! writing shouldn’t be forced but you know, notes gives us motivation in writing. seeing the tags where they scream what they like about your fic is ethereal.

i am a new writer here but i find some people here are not appreciative enough to authors like you, us; who works really hard, who keep our mind running for endless days to create a wonderful piece to share on this platform.

you are one of the authors i really love and appreciate and i really want to know your opinions about it and how you gain engagements. thank you! i hope you always have a great day!

believe it or not when i posted my first fic on here, my mindset was “i’ll keep writing even if no one will read bc it’s fun to me” and honestly all i wanted at the time was to share a story simply bc i enjoy it. i didn’t have many followers nor did i have ppl writing in my askbox at the time. i also used to have like 50 notes per chapter and that was fine! i think what gained me more audiences was how consistent i’ve been posting — i used to update my fic once a day (or every two days) and ppl followed me bc they wanna keep up with the series (it was remember, forever at the time). then i kinda just grew from there?

but i do agree that feedbacks do give writers motivation and i definitely feel more satisfied abt my work if i see that ppl are gushing abt it with me so it is very important. hearing abt their enthusiasm and their theories and their reactions all make me wanna keep writing and providing content <3 idk how and when it started but if readers are generally hooked on ur stories, i assure they won’t hesitate in leaving comments.

you see when ppl enjoyed one of ur works, they’d try to look for more. and if they happen to like your other works too, then you’d gain consistent engagements bc you’ve earned their trust that whatever you post is something they would enjoy!!

just keep on writing, talk to ur followers, use the right tags, choose titles and descriptions that are eye-catching, leave cliffhangers 😝, but most importantly, write things that you truly enjoy. trust that your work will be rewarded with ‘notes’ sooner or later

[suga-kookiemonster]

1) This is not supposed to come off the with any hate but simply my opinion and constructive criticism. I understand the world is a really hard place right now and we all have a lot going on but that being said I don’t feel like it’s ok for you to get angry at people when they ask about an update coming on ur work. People are simply asking questions and u get pissy. I don’t know it rubs me the wrong way when I see writers reply rudely to people simply asking when they’re going to post the work.

2) instead of assuming that people are being pushy just assume that they’re being very genuine. People really enjoy your work and just want to know when the updates are coming they aren’t trying to be pushy. Before you think I’m somebody that this is happened to you I’m not I just don’t like seeing writers being rude. Again this is meant with no hate I hope you have a good night I just felt like I wanted to share this.

LMAO! the sense of entitlement and wannabe gaslighting you have 😂let me break it down for you since your head seems to be up your own ass and you understandably have a hard time seeing anything other than your own shit:

faq stands for “frequently asked questions”. i set up that page because i have tens of thousands of followers and it is tiring and gives me anxiety to have to answer the same question over and over and over, especially when it’s about updates. i also have an updates page that tells you what i’m working on and what’s on the horizon. the fact that the name of my inbox is literally “read faq first" and people still ignore it? disrespectful and embarrassing. me asking someone to read my faq/update pages before sending me an ask is not rude. it is practical, and it is me enforcing my boundaries on MY OWN space to protect MY OWN time and mental health. which brings me to:

this is my fucking blog. if you don’t like how i run it, you can leave. no one is holding a gun to your head, no one will miss you--just click out, sweetheart 🤦🏽‍♀️

i am an adult with a full-time job that i am struggling to keep during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC who writes for fun and for FREE. and i am not alone in that--because we!!!gasp!!!all have actual lives outside of this website, 99% of writers in this fandom hate being asked about updates. we all talk to each other, and we hate it! especially because most of the time people don’t come into our inboxes to leave feedback--they come with their hands held out, simply do so to ask for more more MORE, WHEN WILL I HAVE IT?? it’s stressful and exhausting and not at all what anyone should consistently be experiencing with a hobby. us writers post update pages and faqs and politely ask you not to come into our inboxes with certain questions in an effort to alleviate some of the pressure and anxiety from what is supposed to be a fun pastime. i am under ZERO (0) obligation to give you anything, and if you can’t respect me or my space or my time, then you get nothing. PERIOD. why do you think our fandom is losing so many content creators? if y’all can’t act with some sense and stop treating content creators like your personal fic-making machines instead of actual people behind the keyboards, then soon there will be no content for you to consume at all!!! who woulda thought 🙄

anyway, i’m baffled that you had the audacity to send this and am really irritated that this is the first thing i saw this morning. what a great start to the day smh. if you feel that me simply pointing people to my faq is “rude” and “pissy”, then i truly don’t know how you survive in the real world where society has many different rules that must be followed, all differing dependent on which spaces you choose to inhabit (the rules and boundaries of your house are different than the rules and boundaries of your workplace are different from the rules and boundaries of MY BLOG).  

if you don’t like seeing writers “be rude” then why don’t you go and write your OWN shit?? then you’ll know exactly when to expect updates! lmao girl, go to hell 😂 fuck off

[whereyoursoulresides]

Without Words II - Our Orbiting Paths, Chapter 1

Summary: In their third life, Kunzite has finally won the heart of Zoisite’s civilian reincarnation, Kozakura Izou. However, as their lives become progressively more intertwined, certain challenges begin to crop up… Between the stresses of work, adjusting to modern expectations, and old familiar faces flashing from the shadows, can Kunzite maintain a meaningful relationship with his partner successfully?

Rating: T+

Characters Featured in Fic: Kunzite, Zoisite, Nephrite, Jadeite, Naru, Umino

Chapter Summary: It's been a few months of dating now, and Kunzite thinks they're ready to take it to the next step.

AO3 Link Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27826732/chapters/68145631#workskin

“Oh, you should’ve seen it, Kunihiro-sama,” the voice was saying over the phone. “Absolutely atrocious, I had never seen anything like it!”

“Hmn,” was all Kunzite said, albeit with a bit of a smile. He didn’t usually have much opinion on the matters of Izou’s latest gossip, but he was happy to hear Izou talk about anything at all. He took another bite of his dinner - plain white rice and grilled salmon. “And then?”

“Oh, I took myself right out of that business,” Izou continued, and Kunzite could just imagine his curls frazzedly waving in exasperation.

“It sounds like you might be out-growing that coffee shop,” was Kunzite’s observation.

Izou huffed over the phone. “Entirely possible. The staff is completely different now. Honestly, Kunihiro-sama, these new girls, sometimes their attitude is just appal- ow! ”

Kunzite quickly pushed some loose grains of rice past his lips. “Mn. Izou? Are you alright?”

There was a little hiss, and then a whine.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Izou answered. “Just a prick, that’s all.” The words came out mumbly as Kunzite could hear him suck on his finger. “Shoot, that smarts!”

Kunzite shook his head fondly. “Be careful,” he chided as he began to clean up the remnants of his dinner. He had about another five minutes of his break left. “Perhaps we shouldn’t chat if you need to concentrate...”

“Mn, oh no!” Izou insisted. The sound of the phone being adjusted to his ear cackled over the receiver. “At any rate, what time are you finishing tonight, Kunihiro-sama?”

“Late,” Kunzite answered. He glanced at the clock. “About midnight, I think.”

“Oh.” Izou sounded disappointed. “It’s been so long…”

It had perhaps only been a week since they'd last seen each other in person, but to both it had felt like an eternity. Between Kunzite’s long and odd working hours at the precinct and Izou’s equally erratic shifts at the coffee shop, it was difficult to set a real date time consistently, and every window of opportunity was never wasted. Although they chatted every night (and occasionally stumbled to work from either other’s homes), it seemed that their craving for the other’s physical presence was only growing exponentially by the day.

“I know,” Kunzite said kindly. He missed Izou too.

Izou seemed to gather up some strength. “Were you able to eat? You’ve mentioned before it’s tricky to get a meal in sometimes…”

Kunzite threw the plastic container out into the garbage under the sink.

“I managed to grab something. Although I must be hanging up soon, Izou…”

“Oh, okay,” Izou said in a rush. “Well, um, maybe I could drop by tomorrow, before my shift? I start late in the afternoon…”

Kunzite smiled. “That’d be lovely. Whatever works for you.”

“Okay.” Izou paused as though to say something pressing, but Kunzite chalked it up to their usual anxieties of never wanting to hang up. “Take care,” he finally said.

Kunzite tilted his head warmly.

“You as well. Chat soon.”

After hanging up the phone, Kunzite finished tidying up the break room and returned to his desk. In one corner stood the small rosebush that Izou had managed to resurrect. It was Kunzite’s pride and joy in the office, a perfect reminder in lieu of their photo from the Dark Kingdom. As he settled himself amongst his papers and computers, he thought briefly of how lucky he was. It was so surreal to think that this was where they - he and Izou -  were now.

In the past few months, Izou’s memories of his third life had rapidly solidified, and it had been fascinating to Kunzite to learn everything about Kozakura Izou. His parents - a concept that Kunzite was still struggling to come to terms with - lived in the countryside, on a small, modest farm. His mother was an artist, and his father was a photographer. Izou himself had moved to Tokyo at age fourteen to better his schooling and career opportunities. In between part time work and school, Izou loved to read, thrift, garden, and shop. His creativity energy would burst into little endeavours - sketches, doodles, collages - and was increasingly weaving into his sense of style and fashion. It wasn’t uncommon for Kunzite to hear a little yelp or hiss over the phone as he had earlier- followed by the endearing dismayed whine - from sewing accidents wherein Izou had stabbed himself at his fingertips. As Kunzite flipped through his briefing updates in his hands, he wondered which project Izou had been working on today, and if he would be seeing it soon.

“Saitou-san.”

Kunzite glanced up to see a younger officer leaning over the corner of his cubicle. He was holding two folders in one hand, while the other was scratching his head under his cap. Behind him, Kunzite caught a glimpse of the civilian as she left the precinct, her dark auburn hair swinging behind her.

“Yes, Kobayashi-san?”

“I just got another statement about the nondescript white van. That makes five so far.”

“No attacks?”

“None, just trailing.” Kobayashi scrunched up his nose. “It’s hard to get an idea though on where to begin. No identifiable markings, and none of the license plates line up. Still seems worth investigating.”

Kunzite’s eyes drifted to the other folder. “And the other case?”

“Mn? Oh. Just another sighting of the cargo truck with the black star. No attacks yet this week, but it’s definitely suspicious.” He looked at Kunzite sheepishly. “I guess you’ll probably want the more exciting one, huh?”

If it was one thing Kunzite knew very well, it was patterns. And he knew what would follow the cargo truck with the black star all too well.

“I’ll take the van,” he said curtly, taking the folder.

The younger officer grinned in excitement, holding the remaining case to his chest.

“Maybe this means I’ll get to meet a Sailor Senshi…!”

“I think you have much more pressing concerns than that,” Kunzite said crossly. He gestured to some of the boxes stacked up at the farthest wall of the precinct. “Why don’t you start setting those up instead.”

Flushing embarrassedly, Kobayashi straightened immediately.

“Yes sir!”

As the younger officer hurried off to set up the precinct’s newest surveillance testing program, Kunzite shook his head. Although he was the senior officer, occasionally Kunzite felt more like an unofficial mother hen than a leader. Quickly, he brushed the thought aside and returned to his paperwork with a sigh.

And when else had he felt like that before…?

---

It had been a long night. While his precinct also technically dealt with thefts, burglaries, and other emergencies, Kunzite found the public-facing aspect of his job far more draining. Although he usually could leave it to the younger officers, the fact remained that most of them still needed guidance and training, which Kunzite had to deliver. By the time he climbed his way up to the top floor of his low-rise apartment, Kunzite’s stomach was rumbling, and he was ready to hit the hay.

However, upon arriving at his door, Kunzite was greeted by a little surprise that woke him right up.

“Izou?”

The young man had been sitting by the door, shrouded in a thick winter jacket with a backpack to his side. Seeing Kunzite, he jumped to his feet. “Kunihiro-sama, welcome home!” It was the biggest grin Kunzite had seen all day.

Despite himself, Kunzite couldn’t help but reflect a slightly confused smile back. He gently laid a hand on the small of Izou’s back. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yes,” Izou assured, lifting what looked like a large stack of lunch boxes wrapped in a spring green cloth. “I thought you could use something heartier so late after dinner time,” he said cheerfully. “It’s just some takeout, but…”  His cheeks glowed faintly. “But...I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

As Kunzite inserted his key, he had to do his best to keep from growing into a ridiculous grin. Izou was just so sweet and thoughtful.

“You really shouldn’t have,” Kunzite finally said, as the bolt unlocked. Izou glanced up uncertainty.

“Was it too forward of me?” he asked.

Kunzite finally let the fondness of his smile show, and gently nudged Izou into the door.

“Not at all.” I’ve missed you too. “Please. Come in.”

Splitting into a grin, Izou slipped off his shoes and leapt inside. As he got settled and began to unpack the food, Kunzite’s smile faded when he realized how late it truly was. One in the morning, and while his area was safer than Izou’s neighbourhood, the city could still be a very dangerous beast at this hour.

“How long were you waiting for?” he asked as he slid out of his own shoes, watching Izou for any indication of polite refrain.

“Oh, not long,” Izou answered merrily, now plating the food into bowls. He gathered up the paper and plastic and swirled around to throw them into the garbage, not noticing Kunzite’s knitting brows.

“Izou.”

The boy paused for a moment to look up at Kunzite hesitantly. “About an hour,” he answered quickly. “But I knew you might be late so I brought a book, so it’s okay, really.” He then returned to cleaning up and setting the kettle for some tea.

Kunzite glanced down at the key that was still in his hand, and made up his mind. As Izou began undoing the tea tin, Kunzite gently but protectively began to wrap his arms around the younger man’s waist, bringing him close to his chest. Izou was clearly delighted by the closeness and looked over his shoulder to shyly smile at Kunzite.

“The city can be dangerous this late at night,” Kunzite murmured quietly into Izou’s soft hair. “You should be more careful…”

Izou was obviously touched by Kunzite’s concern, and brushed it off. “I’m fine, I can take care of myself,” he insisted. He placed one of his own hands on Kunzite’s forearm. “Don’t worry.”

Of course Kunzite couldn’t help but worry, he’d been worrying about Izou even before he had met him in this life.  

“Maybe you should consider a different place to live,” Kunzite suggested. “Somewhere safer.”

Izou shrugged and began to swirl the tea leaves budding in the hot water. “Maybe once I have a little more money,” he agreed.

It took Kunzite a few moments to consider what his next words were going to be. Eventually, he pulled one arm away from Izou and placed the key, with purpose, onto the counter in Izou’s line of sight.

“I was thinking…” Kunzite mumbled softly, “that maybe you’d like to live with me.”

At first, Izou blinked at the piece of metal on the counter, not entirely sure if he was understanding, or had correctly caught what Kunzite had said. Unawares, Kunzite tightened his hug marginally, hoping that his suggestion wasn’t a step too far.

Slowly Izou turned his head around to look up at him. When Kunzite saw those big, bright and breathless eyes, he knew his fears were unfounded.

“Really?” Izou whispered, almost shyly. “You...think we’re ready for that?”

It was clear by Izou’s exhilarated whisper that he clearly was delighted to think they were, and Kunzite was definitely certain they were. Well, he was also certain because of how well he and Zoisite had lived together in the past… So, surely they were more than ready to move in together by now.

“Absolutely.”

It was clear Izou could hardly believe this turn of events, trying his best to hide the big grin Kunzite could tell was growing on his face. Finally, after rolling his bottom lip between his teeth, Izou beamed and nodded.

“Sure.”

It took nearly all of Kunzite’s willpower to not pick up Izou and swirl him around in his new home. Instead Kunzite simply broke into a smile again, followed by a short, relieved chuckle...Very quickly, the two of them were grinning and flushing together with excitement. Was this it? Were they really ready for this? It was as if both men were suppressing an armory of feeling that they were not yet ready to give words to, and giggling and laughing was the closest way they had to release the tension of mounting exhiliation that they were both trying to restrain.

“I’ll help you move in, the next time you’re free,” Kunzite said earnestly, seeing that he wasn’t alone in wanting to live together as soon as possible.

“I don’t have much stuff,” Izou replied, who couldn’t stop grinning behind his hands. “Although...I don’t have much money for my share of rent...”

“You don’t have to worry about any of that,” Kunzite reassured immediately. “I’ll take care of everything.”

Izou’s eyebrows stitched up together. “But...what about food?” He glanced around. “Utilities…”

“I’ll take care of everything,” Kunzite repeated again, firmly but gently. “I want to share my home with you. I want it to be our home. I’ll get everything ready.”

It was clear Izou couldn’t believe his luck. He was practically dancing into Kunzite’s arms when suddenly realization flickered across his face. Kunzite caught it instantly and his smile disappeared. “What is it?”

Izou didn’t say anything, but green eyes darted over to the bathroom. There was a moment of silence as both of them realized what Izou had just remembered... and Kunzite suddenly felt a bit awkward and unprepared.

“It’s okay,” he insisted, although he knew the memory of it wasn’t exactly pleasant. “Everything’s  been removed, I promise.”

Hesitantly Izou glanced up at Kunzite, and it was clear how conflicted he felt about the situation.

“It’s empty,” Kunzite insisted again. “You can fill it with your things when you move in. Izou’s things.”

This seemed to make Izou feel a bit better, and the smile slowly resurfaced back up a bit. “Well it’s...not like I didn’t like the stuff ,” he mumbled a bit. “I mean, I did like that stuff and I still do like it but...it was just a bit weird seeing it all there ready for you, you know?”

“I understand.” Kunzite gently gave Izou a bit of squeeze.

“Did you really throw it all out though?” Izou asked. “It would’ve been a waste...I suppose I wouldn’t mind using it if you still have it.”

At that, Kunzite paused. He had gotten rid of it from the bathroom, but hadn’t actually thrown the items out…

Izou looked up curiously. “Kunihiro-sama?”

“Truthfully?” Kunzite asked.

“Truthfully,” Izou answered, but the smile on his face gave away that he was going to be okay with whatever Kunzite answered.

“Don’t look in the closet.”

Despite himself, Izou couldn’t help but giggle, and Kunzite’s shoulders released with relief. As Izou tried to hide his laughter behind his hand, Kunzite glanced up at the clock and saw how even later it was getting.

“Let’s eat.” He slowly undid his arms around Izou and lightly grazed Izou’s cheek as he pulled away. “I’ll undress and we’ll have supper.”

“Wait.” Izou took a step forward and placed his hand on Kunztie’s chest to stop him. There was a moment, and Izou’s eyes slowly trailed up from the bottom of Kunzite’s uniform, from its hem to his belt, to finally his eyes. “...Keep them on?”

Kunzite could tell that look anywhere and, hiding a smirk, he obliged. Gathering the food from the counter, the two of them made their way over to the couch to settle in for some cozy dinner. As Izou made himself comfortable nestling in Kunzite’s arms as they flicked the television on, Kunzite couldn't help but relish this humble but incredible moment between them.

Zoisite was finally home.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Megan

Writing Blog URL(s): @yunocity​

What fandom(s) do you write for? NCT (127, Dream, Wayv, U)

Age: 20

Nationality: Asian American

Languages: English, Hmong with limited knowledge in Chinese and Korean

Star Sign: Sun: Scorpio, Moon: Taurus, Rising: Aquarius 

MBTI: ESTJ-A

Favorite color: Black, red, white

Favorite food: Spring rolls

Favorite movie: Miracles in Cell No.7, Love Rosie

Favorite ice cream flavor: Mango

Favorite animal: Baby pandas

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?: Tea!

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Marketer for a luxury fashion company or a high-end makeup brand

Go-to karaoke song: Video Games- Lana Del Ray

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?: Mind Reading!

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?: Roaring 20s

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?: No, I think the way my life is laid out is how it’s supposed to be. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve learned from them. I think if I were to restart my life, I’d not be who I am at this moment and I like who I am right now, I like who I’ve grown to be! 

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?: 100 chicken-sized horses 

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?: The dancers/athletes!

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?: I’m skeptical about them so yes 

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?: If you look closely, my eyes are different shades of brown!

When did you post your first piece?: May 11, 2020

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?: I’ve been on Tumblr for a long time, but I’ve only gotten into reading other accounts’ works 2-3 years ago. Eventually, they inspired me into wanting to make my own writing account and share my stories and ideas!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?: Nope!

What inspires you to write?: My emotions and ideas. Also reading old texts from people I love or used to be in my life, tv shows/movies/kdramas, vision boards, and aesthetics of different countries around the world. Most of the time, my mind just comes up with wild random scenarios.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?: I take a break! I’d close my laptop and usually go dance (it’s a way for myself to take a break, yet still feel physically inspired), spend time with family, grab a snack, do some digital art, or research a conspiracy theory!

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?: Yes, I write smut (legal members only ofc), angst, and general. I write those kinds of genres because those are the most common and there’s so much that you can do with them! You can write them however you want and write whatever kind of plot you see fit, there’s so much flexibility.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?: As of right now, I have been writing for “X Readers” because I want to be really inclusive of everyone! I don’t think I’ll go into OCs or ships (assuming idol and another idol?) because I don’t see that as inclusive. I most likely will stick to “X Readers”.

Who is your favorite person to write about?: Jaehyun from NCT

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?: I’ve only gotten to post one kind of au (arranged marriage au), but some that I have in my drafts that I absolutely enjoy are idol au, friends to lovers au, enemies to lovers au, mafia au, fwb au, and mythology au. A genre I also love writing is angst!

What is your writing process like?: I usually write at night after I shower and do my night routine. I plug in some headphones, play some music that fits the mood of the story presently, and start writing! If I have writer’s block, I’ll usually watch some old mvs that bring back old memories!

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?: I haven’t published it yet, because it’s still under the wraps and I want to post about other members too, but I have a mythology au with Jaehyun and it’s my absolute favorite right now! I can’t wait to post it!!

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?: Yes and no! Yes, because whenever I think of (original) prose I think of a technique of writing that flows naturally with speech and has grammatical structure, so as long as stories have those skills, I would consider them as so. We as humans actually speak, write, and think in prose because it’s seen as a straightforward language and conversational speech. No, because at the same time prose consists of many things. There are several types of prose (non-fictional, fictional, heroic, poetic), so if a story states that it is a specific prose, I would say there is a difference!

What do you think makes a good story?: Emotion 100%. The ability to write with emotions without straightforwardly telling the readers what kind of emotion is felt within a character. Also description of an environment, again, having the ability to describe a moment without stating it like it’s supposed to be obvious. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?: The emotion that my writing invokes from them. I want them to read my work and feel the emotion that I’m trying to provoke! Also the fact that I work hard and put a lot of thought while being realistic as I can with the plot! 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?: Not yet!

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?: Ones that I love are enemies to lovers, friends with benefits to lovers, friends to lovers, different worlds (metaphorically), and I have some more that I can’t think of! Ones that I cannot stand are, stuck together to lovers, secret billionaire, childhood marriage promises, amnesia, and “If i can’t have you, no one will!!” 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?: Definitely my process/planning; on how I think of a story and plan it out on my iPad with a bunch of side notes and idea webs.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?: Oh, it means so much, I can’t even explain. I love it when I get asks that tell me about how mad they are, how much they cried, or how happy they are about something that happened in the story. It means a lot because it means that they actually read through my work and enjoyed it. I love it when my followers and anons talk to me in general!

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?: Yes, I definitely think that we get judged for being too much in our head or having too many unrealistic fantasies. Fanfic writing is just another way of expressing our ideas simply with the person we adore from a group, it doesn’t necessarily mean we fantasize it to happen. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?: Yes! I think that any idea from the mind that expresses emotion and inspiration visually or not, is considered an art. There’s a lot that goes into writing than what people think! Such as finding the creativity for metaphors in a story that will not only bring out emotion from the character and reader, but also a visual representation to symbolize the emotion. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?: Yes, I always get asks asking me when I’ll update, but it’s not too much of a bother because I know they’re just really excited for the next part or another set of work. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?: Not at all, I think I do a fairly good job at writing to the point where there’d be no misunderstandings. 

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?: No, I like to keep it private because I’d rather have them not tease or make fun of me for what I genuinely like to do. 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?: That I literally love them all so much and I appreciate each and every one of them. I mean it from the bottom of my heart, they’re all so nice, welcoming, and supportive. It encourages me to write more! 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?: Definitely go for it! You’ll never know until you try! There will be people who don’t like it, but those who truly love your writing will support you forever, will stick around, encourage you, and lift you up. Be confident in your writing, be confident that your brain came up with such an amazing plot/story and has woven so many things together to create it!

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?: I do have a few mutuals that I talk to. One of them has read my story and given such good feedback, which I loved because I’m always looking for opportunities to grow as a writer. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: “Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.” -Will Smith

BONUS K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply HERE.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Hiatus – Non-Sequential

I’ve received a few messages about this. No one’s been rude or anything. I mostly believe it’s because so few people have been reading Non-Sequential. I didn’t even know I was on a hiatus until I realized I hadn’t updated the series since October 20th. 😬

And for anyone who’s been following me for a while, you know I never do that shit. I always finish my fics, and I’m always pretty consistent and timely with my updates. 

I’m not really here to apologize. I mean, I write on here for fun and I give people content for free. Quite frankly, I don’t owe anyone anything. But, for the most part, I’ve enjoyed my experience on her and most people have been rather kind. 

I figured I could give a little explanation to my lack of writing. 

My job has become really crazy the past 2-3 months. It’s a busy time of year for me because I work in media. (I don’t give details about what I do, and that will remain so. I’m anonymous, after all.) But my job is very fast-paced, quick turn around, very demanding. On top of that, it’s extremely emotionally and mentally draining. 

Because of work, I’m just completely exhausted when I get home. I literally go to work, go to the gym, shower, eat, and then go to bed. I don’t even have the energy or time to watch TV or movies anymore. Which used to be the main offender of me not making time to write. 

I really lost motivation to write, especially Non-Sequential. I don’t know if it’s because it’s my first and only Steve Rogers x Reader series, but it’s the lowest commented and reblogged series I’ve ever written. Literally. I kind of started feeling like no one really cared. It was already getting hard to write with my exhaustion, so the lack of enthusiasm definitely started weighing on my motivation and inspiration.

Anyways, I hate writing these stupid messages about myself. That’s not why I’m on here. But I felt like I should let the few people who care about Non-Sequential know that I’m not quitting on it yet. I just took an unexpected break and I truly do not know when I’ll be able to continue. 

[psychicnymph]

what happened to aphroditedolan?

hi everyone. i’m here to address the questions that i know many of you will ask. my sudden departure from the dolan twins fandom was not an entirely impulsive decision, so i’m here to explain.

first and foremost, i deactivated because of the sheer amount of blatant, cruel, and unacceptable disrespect i endured while writing for fun and for free. i would spend hours, upon days, upon weeks, upon months working on projects and i still got this disrespect. people were critical of my appearance, my strong-willed and passionate nature, the way i presented myself online -- but, amazingly, never of my writing. see, truth be told, arrogance in tote, my writing is phenomenal. it was rare that you’d catch a spelling or grammatical error (which is a direct result of my educational privilege, i recognize), each plot was well thought-out, each descriptor would bring the scenery, the characters, the erotic scenes to life; you name it, i took the time to near-perfect it. i wrote, edited, sometimes went as far as rewriting -- my point is, i was dedicated. 

a few weeks ago, i even took the time to completely reorganize my blog; i gathered and linked all the small concepts & blurbs i wrote and put them into a masterlist, on top of updating my fic masterlist to be more aesthetically pleasing, cleaner, and editing pictures myself to put them on both masterlists. i did this because i was excited to continue the two short series which i had started: Let Me Get That For You and A Girl is a Gun. additionally, i had ideas, WIPs, and other projects i was planning and writing for that i couldn’t wait to embark on -- and then, it was like something changed in the fandom.

well, i suppose i can’t say changed. let’s say more like... got exponentially worse.

from the very beginning, there were two types of people who i noticed in the twins’ tumblr fandom: there were those who earned their numbers, and there were those who preached ideas of entitlement. there was also a hierarchy: big blogs, and small blogs. it was like a caste system of its own kind. i’d like to discuss this for a brief moment.

when i first started writing, i was absolutely nobody in the fandom. i wasn’t on other platforms, i hadn’t been a stan for very long, i didn’t know anybody -- the tumblr fandom was where i wanted to start and, for the most part, ended up staying. i mention this because at the time of aphroditedolan’s deletion, i was considered a “big blog.” how did i go from small to big, then? if it’s a caste system, how could i have transitioned?

the answer is simple. the system you all created doesn’t exist. in this fandom, you are either entitled or you are talented, and that’s about it.

i never sat around begging people to like, reblog, or read my work, and i never pleaded for followers. i got them because i put out good, consistent, beautiful writing. i interacted with people, i wrote for prompts, i reached out and cultivated friendships, i did what i went to tumblr to do: write and be part of a community that loved the dolan twins. that’s it. the numbers came through hard work, dedication, and most of all, earning every one of them. 

no one on this earth or any other is entitled to likes, reads, reblogs, comments, kind words, attention, followers, or anything of the sort. yes, everyone deserves those things; no, you shouldn’t just get them. you should strive to earn these things. and honestly, while i think everyone is deserving of a chance, not everyone is cut out to be a writer. not everyone is made or meant for this art. because it’s an art. it’s a skill that needs to be developed and practiced. you can’t just sit down and bang out some writing. you absolutely must be dedicated and passionate about it if you ever want a taste of being successful. and that’s just it; some of you are doing this for the wrong reasons. you do it for the numbers. numbers do not fucking matter. they aren’t even real. it’s just a count of people who have physically interacted with your post, or people who actually decided to follow you.

everyone deserves to have their craft appreciated, but when you just start writing for the attention you think it’ll get you, that’s not a craft. that’s you doing the things you see others doing because you see the attention they get and you want a piece of that for yourself. it’s a shitty, horrible motive. and then, when it’s obvious that writing isn’t your strongest talent or even a genuine passion of yours, you whine about some system that isn’t fair, you create something to blame for your lack of success -- of course, it must be the bigger blogs.

i’m proof that that just isn’t true and y’all are lying to yourselves. in less than a year, i ended up with 4k followers and extremely successful pieces. again, because i earned it. through time, effort, and dedication, i earned it.

another thing that came with the culture of entitlement in the fandom was people being self-pitying in order to evoke guilt in their audience, so that people would go and tell them, no, your writing is so good, keep it up. they did it as a means of getting the attention they hadn’t earned. people got into the habit of trying to use me for more attention. they would feign friendliness, interest in my blog, etc., all to say, hey, can you check out my writing and reblog it?

i don’t fuck with that shit. it’s a huge part of why i had to turn my submissions off and my messages off from people i didn’t follow. i don’t like people who only care about numbers and want to use me for more numbers. it was beyond disrespectful that people thought i couldn’t see what they were trying to do; honey, manipulation is a skill just like any other, and i’m better at it than you are. don’t try it on me.

besides the overly-entitled, suffocating people who would shit on, criticize, and blame others for their low numbers which resulted from their sheer lack of effort and self-awareness (and by this i mean actually stopping to question 1. what is your motive here and 2. is what you’re producing actually good or is it slapped together messily?), there was also the culture of feedback to the writer from the audience. 

it was rare that i’d get any other response on my writing besides “part 2?” “more?” “part 2 plzzzz” “you need to update this” and etc.

how many times is the writing community gonna have to say that those comments aren’t helpful, kind, supportive, constructive, or ANYTHING besides annoying? they’re demanding. they push the idea that they just want more of the same ol’ shit. even after i made it blatantly clear on more than one occasion that i don’t take requests and would not be adding a part 2 to something unless it was upon my own discretion, there were still constant, never-ending, tireless requests for more, or requests in general. it was frustrating and infuriating. i was so tired of repeating myself. and when i stopped repeating myself and started linking people to asks or my FAQ where i had already answered that question, people wanted to act like i had an attitude. people gave me endless grief that i was a bitch, aggressive, had a shitty attitude; no, babe. i just wasn’t tolerant of poor treatment. you should try to start adopting this attitude for yourself. respect yourself and know your worth. it’s really as simple as that.

when the biphobic comments rolled around, i’d had enough. it’s when i decided to take my break, truly because i was furious (as i had every right to be) and because that whole situation made me not want to write at all. all my passion and motivation to finish projects i’d been so excited to do for you guys went out the window. it’s sad that y’all pushed me over the edge this way. i gave it time, i let the wounds heal, i let the anger fade, and i started an official hiatus to do this. i’m also in school again, which meant i’d be less active anyway, and it felt like a good idea to just put some distance between myself and the tumblr fandom. but the distance has only solidified the feeling that i’m just not appreciated as much as i deserve to be. and i don’t mean in numbers. i mean for the amount of effort i put in to get constant backlash on things that don’t even have to do with my writing, to work so hard only to be pissed the fuck off, to dedicate so much time and energy to a group of people only for y’all to erase my identity, send me hate, try to act big and tough and like you’re the shit behind anonymous... i’m good luv, enjoy.

there are also other factors; truths about some of the people in the fandom that are idolized, the constant plagiarism of my work, the overwhelming sense of responsibility that came with keeping up with my blog like it was a job, among other things that i don’t care to elaborate on.

so that’s it. i got tired of the same old shit and i know i deserve better. below, i’ll answer some questions that i think some people may be left with:

are you and luna still dating?

yes. for the last time, yes. we are dating. we are a couple. we love each other. we are in a long distance relationship and we are actually dating. not like two besties pretending to date because it’s quirky -- we are actually. fucking. dating. and no, nothing happened between us to make me make this decision. we are doing great.

are you gonna write ever again?

in my life? yes. for the twins, in this fandom, or on this platform? fuck no.

are you still a fan of the twins?

yes! oh my god, probably always. no matter where they go or what they pursue, i’m there with them. they have made my life better, and i have a lot to thank them for. i’ll just be enjoying their content from alllllllllll the way over here.

are you gonna be blogging about the twins?

not at all. in fact, i don’t even follow rockstardolan because i’m keeping my dash away from all of that. i’m not following any dt related blogs. i’m gonna do my thing over here, and love the twins in private, on my own terms. 

why did you delete all your writing?

in truth, after everything, i don’t even want it to remain there. i essentially wanted to erase my contribution and my footprint on this fandom. plus, having my writing just out and about, having already been plagiarized so i’m sure you can find some things in various illegal wattpad compilations, makes me worry about more people doing that. i wanted to keep that damage to a minimum. so yeah, they’re gone forever. 

what about your friends, people you interacted with, etc?

the people who matter will stay in touch. there are some people i’ve cut out from my life for good because they’re toxic and quite frankly i just don’t like them. i’m done subjecting myself to people i don’t even fucking like for the sake of keeping others happy. but, the good friends who respected me, treated me well, etc, they’ll reach out when they can. i’d say i encourage it, but i have a lot on my plate as is and have a hard enough time keeping up with things in the real world, let alone things online. there’s still love there, i’m just keeping a safe, healthy distance and doing what’s best for me. 

if you have other questions, you can feel free to ask, but i’m really not in the market for new friendships. it’s not that time in my life. i literally cannot handle more than what i’ve got on my plate, and i’m keeping my priorities in order. i don’t care if you think i’m rude, if you think i’m a bitch, if you think i’ve got a bad attitude, if you think i’m a piece of shit, if you’re angry, if you’re sad, even if you’re gonna miss me -- this is for me. i’m letting this out as a big, fat fuck you to the things and people that ruined my experience on aphroditedolan, and as an explanation for the few people who deserve it.

take care of yourselves. do the things that make you happy. don’t tolerate things that don’t make you happy. do no harm, take no shit, and most importantly,

stan the FUCKING dolan twins.

signed,

daniella/dani/aphroditedolan, however you have known me. 

[noqueenbutthequeeninthenorth]

A 2018 Fanfic Retrospective

Since it’s the end of the year, I thought I’d look back on the past year of fanfiction that I’ve written, read, and loved. The past year has been my most active fandom year since.... almost a decade, probably. So thanks to everyone who’s made this fandom such a great place to be. Here’s to 2019 and to Jonsa totally becoming canon.

Writing in 2018 I wrote so much this year, it’s unbelievable. I’m usually not just a slow writer but one who doesn’t produce much of anything -- a one-shot or two a year has been my tendency. But this year’s been totally different. Not only am I writing more, I’m writing multi-chapter stuff ...... and actually finishing it. 

In July, I finished up A Heart That Offends, which had become a huge pain in the ass at that point because I’d never intended it to get so long. It was supposed to be a oneshot! And then it was supposed to be two chapters at most! It just kept growing (this is a recurring theme in 2018). There’s a lot I’d change about that fic now, including breaking it into more smaller and more digestible chapters, but I’m proud of myself for finishing it and seeing it through to the end. Except for the epilogue.... which I swear is coming.

I also posted all of Winter in My Blood, a fic that had its beginnings nearly a decade ago when I idly starting writing a Queen in the North AU with next to no plot. In the end I think you can tell that this was a story conceived of at a totally different point in my fandom of GOT/ASOIAF, but I honestly love this fic and feel really proud of it. I think it’s got a few of my best bits of writing in it. 

And now I’m in the midst (8 chapters in!) of The Seasons of My Love, a fic that began as a fun Harry Potter AU that I could work on when I couldn’t get myself to write A Heart That Offends. Now it’s definitely become something else. It’s my most “traditional” chapter fic, and it’s ended up being a lot more about the emotional toll of all the shit Sansa’s been through, but I think it’s been valuable trying to work through that. I also love writing UST that I just stretch out for as long as humanly possible. 

My writing goals for 2019 are to finish The Seasons of My Love and the A Heart That Offends epilogue, but also to go back to my roots and start writing more one-shots. I’ve got a couple in the works already. I’ve also got a list of AU ideas a mile long that I might just start doing tiny excerpts from because there’s no chance I’ll actually have the patience to sit down and write an entire Legally Blonde AU. 

Reading in 2018 I’ve read so much fic this year and I’ve been consistently terrible about keeping track of it, which is why I’m trying to use my new sideblog @the-lords-kiss​ to write up recommendations and all that jazz. However, I thought I’d give out a few superlatives for fics that have really stuck with me this year (and if I’m being honest probably mostly from the latter half of the year).

Most delicious slow burn: But She’s a Forest Fire by Shippershape. I love this WIP with a passion and can only pray that it continues to be updated. The tension between Jon and Sansa is truly killing me in the best possible way. I also just LOVE how Sansa is written in this fic, and I love how it handles her working through her trauma.

Hottest sex scene: Chapter 24 of and no net ensnares me by @athimbleful​. Look, we all know that thimbleful is an incredible writer whose plotting, characterization, and dialogue are all on point. She’s a superstar. But somehow, in addition to all that talent, she’s ALSO outrageously good at writing smut. This sex scene was so hot I sent my friend @wishwars​ who wasn’t even reading the fic a link. And, unsurprisingly, her response was, “Wow that was hot .... and also that was a really good chapter. What a good writer!”

Most surprisingly delightful update: Saskatoon Berry Pie by @justadram​. This was one of the earliest Jonsa WIPs I read, but I’d sort of forgotten about in intervening years ... so imagine how excited I was when I got the notification that it had updated! I reread the whole thing again and the prose is just as gorgeous and subtle as I remember it. A warm, domestic gem.

Cleverest use of Alayne Stone: The Blood of Winterfell by @captainbee89/Queenofthebees. I just love this AU, and every time it updates I do a little happy dance. I love Alayne Stone fics and this is one of the best out there. The moral quandary at the heart of it is genuinely difficult, and the romance between Jon and “Alayne” is understandably and deliciously complicated.

Most evil (in the best way) use of Alayne Stone : the ghosts followed by home by @junsnow and ayuminb. Every time I read this fic I laugh to myself the entire time with pure glee. The concept is just so good. The reveal is just soooo good. I don’t want to diminish the fact that it’s a really well-written fic with real emotion behind it, but it’s also makes me cackle with delight because of how fucked up everything gets. I love it.

Most “awwww”-inducing: Spring Floods by @athimbleful​. Yeah, thimbleful made the list twice. I can’t help it. I have gushed about this fic about a billion times before but it’s so intimate and warm and sweet and gentle and romantic. It just makes me so happy. It’s so simple and yet the emotion it packs in there is incredible. I don’t know how she does it.

Most promising new WIP: Totally Clueless by @jeynesgreyjoy​. I think most of Jonsa fandom knows about this one by now, but if not, jump on it! It’s a Clueless AU and yet it does a remarkable thing, where tonally, it also has the ability to be incredibly thoughtful and serious. The way it’s handled the abuse in Sansa’s past, as well as Jon’s dysfunctional family issues and grief over losing his mother, while maintaining a snappy, sexy style is really incredible.

There were so many good fics I read this year so seriously, to every Jonsa writer out there, you’ve made my life better in all kinds of big and little ways. Thank you for all your hard work and creativity! Keep writing, keep fighting, keep making our babies fall in love!

Hopefully I’ve linked/tagged everything correctly -- let me know if not!

Also, if anyone else feels moved to do something like this, please do! I won’t tag anybody specifically but if you’re a fanfic writer/reader, I’d love to get your end of the year takes. Tag me if you do it so I can see what you write!

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 6)

18 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hello all! So I debated when drafting this fic how fast I wanted things to go, and I gotta say part of me is kicking myself now. Making this fic so much longer than I originally thought means we are going a little slower than my usual rate, but I really think it will be worth it in the end. That being said, we are at chapter six and you can rest assured more pieces are coming together in the past and in the present. Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you all think!

“So this morning’s office schedule is pretty light as of now, knock on wood. Just that litter of kittens who need their shots, Lionel Johnson’s iguana who isn’t eating as much as usual, and the Smith’s dog who needs a restitch.”

Emma heard the words that Gus, the clinic’s administrator, was saying, but it all felt very far away even though she stood right beside him. Subconsciously she internalized the information being told to her, and at some level she’d picked it all up, but still Emma was distracted, and distraction and her work simply did not mix. She had to have the facts and focus or her patient’s could suffer, so she silently shook herself and tried to pay better attention, speed-reading the chart Gus handed her that said the exact same things he’d just imparted.

“Chester needs a restitch?”

“Yup. Your Dad checked him earlier on his way out, and the wound was still clean after you patched him up yesterday, but a few of the stitches broke overnight. We think he does that pseudo-running thing some dogs do in their sleep. Doesn’t look like he purposefully messed with it.”

“Got it,” Emma acknowledged, knowing that Gus was right. It was likely just a dream-induced injury, and not something more to worry about. “And Dad’s all good on the farms today? He doesn’t need any back up?”

“No word yet. Last I heard all things were going well, but he’s not at the farms as it turns out. He’s somewhere outside Augusta. Got a call this morning from a remote patient and they said it couldn’t wait.”

“Another referral?” Emma asked and Gus nodded. “Someone should really give him an award or something. He’s got to be the most popular vet in Maine at the rate.”

“You’re telling me,” Gus said motioning towards the schedule in a way that said managing it was no cakewalk. Emma laughed and watched as Gus walked back out front to the waiting area and she knew she should follow suit and head to the exam rooms where her charges were waiting.

Before she could do that, however, she needed to get herself in order, and part of that meant looking through old files to make sure they were giving the best form of treatment. Gus had given her all of the medical histories they had on their regular patients, but for the kittens Emma wondered what exactly would be the best treatment option. They had a number of paths to choose from, and though she could make the decision on her own and be confident in that, she felt a need to be her father today and handle things as he would. To do so, she headed into his office, seeking out the files in the back cabinet that had all his information on strays and rescues.

As she looked for the files, Emma found her eyes moving over to her father’s desk, which was meticulously ordered but comforting at the same time. He had the same familiar pictures standing up there. There was one of her parents at their wedding, one of her Dad and his best friend Lance who Emma considered an Uncle, ones of both Emma and Neal as very small kids, and a recent snapshot of the four of them at Emma’s graduation. But there was only one picture on the table with a person Emma had never met and it was the one of her father and his mother. He was only a newborn in the shot, since his mother hadn’t lived very long after having her father and his twin brother, but it was one of Emma’s favorites all the same. The love in that photo was completely undeniable, and though the loss was heart wrenching and honestly so sad, she’d found her father smiling at it many times before, taking comfort in a mother he never got the chance to know.

Emma’s fingers traced over the frame absentmindedly as she looked at the shot, but before her mind could wander too far on her family history, she heard the tell tale sound of chaos. A chorus of meows that could only be made by very young and rambunctious kittens was sounding out, and the sooner she got to work, the sooner those little cuties could get back to the shelter and the volunteers who would no doubt want to dote on them.

As the day progressed, Emma let herself relax into her work, losing herself in the familiar and unexpected parts of the process. She started by seeing to their nosiest tenants, the half dozen kittens who’d been brought in a few days back. They were ready for their four-week shots, and all of them were well behaved given the circumstances. Turned out all they wanted was some attention and affection, which Emma was very happy to give before and after she administered their vaccinations.

After the kitties, Emma shifted over to iguana care, which, as expected, turned out to be a rather benign case. The iguana was absolutely fine – he was just changing what food he wanted. It turned out normal old romaine could get boring, and Emma was able to get him to eat much more when she offered him a little fruit and some cherry tomatoes. She’d keep him over night for observation, but she was certain he’d pull through.  And as for Chester, the lovable if overactive English setter, his stitches did in fact need tending to but he was a good boy as she did the work. She didn’t even need to call in Gus for back up, and soon enough he was all stitched up and good to go.

This smooth sailing was arguably great, seeing as it made Emma’s life easier, but the lack of intensity in her day opened Emma up to wandering thoughts again. Because there was no real risk involved, her mind could do its own thing as her body did the work she knew by heart, and it turned out that when given the chance all she could think of was Killian Jones and the way he kissed.

And damn could he kiss! Just thinking about it sent a thrill of anticipation up Emma’s spine. That elated sensation reverberated outwards, filling her with this energy that felt almost electric and he wasn’t even with her. Emma was completely by herself, but the room was still filled with anticipation and wanting all the same. It was crazy to be so affected by someone, but that seemed to be how the story went where Emma and Killian were concerned. She’d been drawn in since they first saw each other, and there’d been a build in her wanting him since that first moment, but after that kiss outside the Rabbit Hole… well, leave it to say there was just no way to resist anymore. She had to give in, and damn if giving in didn’t feel so freaking good.

It was so good, in fact, that Emma had caved to that desire more than once in the past few days. The weekend had been filled with little moments, almost of all of which began, ended, or consisted wholly of kissing this man who made her feel so much. There was some talking scattered in between, mostly Killian saying these amazingly sweet or sexy things that just made Emma want him even more, but the kissing was the defining part of every interaction. They were honestly acting like teenagers, finding each other and sneaking away to make out like it was going out of style, but Emma found that she loved it and that she couldn’t get enough.

The excitement of not knowing when she would see him but being certain that he would find her filled Emma with this rush she’d never known before. Part of her was dying to ask Killian exactly what this was between them. She wanted to put labels on the attraction that they clearly shared, but another part of Emma wanted to stay caught up in the moment. It felt so freeing to just be impulsive and take what she wanted, and Emma didn’t think she had ever felt more alive than she did in those fleeting instances. Still, there was only so long that this pattern could hold. At some point her tendency towards needing a plan and craving direction would win out, and when it did she and Killian would have to talk about what was next and when ‘next’ would be here.

The thought of what all of this meant had been weighing on Emma to some degree, and though she tried to keep it to herself throughout the weekend, Emma did confess her slight misgivings to Elsa and to Anna. It was hard not to, especially since she told them about the first kiss. Since being informed of the new direction of Emma and Killian’s relationship, her best friends had been starved for more news and more updates, and because they were like sisters to her, Emma was confident that anything she said would stay between them. She told them honestly about all she felt – about how for right now this was enough, but that she wanted more with Killian eventually – and their insights and perceptions had been most eye opening.

For Anna, this whole dance was a build up that Emma should be enjoying. It had been forever since Emma had shown interest in anyone, and never to this degree, and she’d been so busy with school and now working at the clinic that she hadn’t had time for any kind of flirtation. Anna saw Killian as a means to a delicious and healthy end, and if things lasted in the long run that was great. But more than anything, Anna believed that Emma needed the adventure and a little more spice in her life. Emma agreed with that last part, but she found it hard to be so cavalier about the future. She loved the current dynamic of waiting and wondering, but the thought that somehow this wouldn’t work out or move forward hurt Emma’s heart and had old protective walls wanting to come up again.

Elsa, meanwhile, saw things very differently. To her the worry was not needed, not because Emma wasn’t really putting her heart on the line or feeling more than she ever had, but because it wasn’t actually a risk. Time had only further cemented Elsa’s instinct that Killian was a keeper, and she held him in this esteem that made Emma feel like he would be a permanent fixture in her world and in Storybrooke too. Elsa’s feeling before meeting him had blossomed after his coming to the bar. She’d met him and sized him up completely, and her results gave Emma this incredible hope. Knowing Elsa felt like this was right for her gave Emma room to really believe that it could be, and though she trusted her own instincts to lead her in the right direction, Emma had been counting on Elsa’s gut with even more faith for years…

After everything that happened last night in the alley, Emma felt like she couldn’t tell what was real and was a dream anymore.

She’d come back inside after the attack and had taken her time to find her family again, and when she did it was on the tip of her tongue to say something. She had to tell them, right? They needed to know that two giant wolves had just had a massive showdown in the back of the Boston Children’s Hospital. But for some reason Emma couldn’t say the words. Maybe it was because her parents looked so relieved to see her after she’d run off, or maybe it was the fact that she could see how tired they were from all of their stress, but in the end Emma ended up saying nothing, holding onto memories that confused her and alarmed her.

Emma tried to sleep that night, hoping maybe in the morning it wouldn’t seem quite so crazy, but her dreams were filled with glimpses of those insane moments played over and over again. Panic that her life was ending would shoot through her, only to be ebbed away when the black wolf showed up to save her. She woke up time and again, tossing and turning in her sleep, until finally Emma gave up, rising with the sun and heading back with her mother to the hospital first thing.

Her hope was to see Neal and feel better. She was praying her brother would be in better shape, and that he’d distract her from what had happened. But being in that building again was like living through the trauma all over again. Emma was jumpy and on edge, and she didn’t know how she could make it through this morning, never mind the rest of the day. Her parents asked her if everything was all right, and again she had the chance to come clean and to tell them what had happened, but she just… couldn’t. It felt impossible to say, and though her parents could still tell that she was off, Neal was just as happy to see her as he ever was. He was still frail and fragile, but his smile when Emma was near lit up the whole room. That happiness Neal had became her anchor, and she stayed with him for hours, choosing to remain even when her parents were called away for more meetings with the doctors.

“Oh thank God, I found you guys.”

For a moment Emma thought she must be imagining things, because she heard her best friend’s voice clear as day. That was impossible though. Elsa was in Storybrooke, more than two hours away, but then Neal’s eyes went wide with excitement and he sat up in bed eagerly.

“Elsa! You came to see me! I knew you would come!”

“You did?” Emma asked of Neal, before turning back to Elsa, her eyes growing wet with tears. “You came?”

“I had to. I had a feeling this morning when I woke up that I should be here, so I hopped on the bus and here I am.”

Emma hugged her friend fiercely, trying desperately to keep from crying though her tears broke through all the same. Elsa held onto her tight, infusing in the embrace all the love and compassion they shared as best friends. It meant the world that Elsa was here, that she’d come without even having to be asked, and today of all days Emma needed her most. She’d been feeling so terribly alone, but now she had someone to confide in and to trust her true feelings with for the first time in forever.

“No Anna today?” Emma asked, wondering how in the world Elsa had managed to come alone. She and Anna were practically attached at the hip, and there was no doubt in Emma’s mind that Anna would want to be here to support them too.

“She doesn’t know I came. She’ll be furious when she finds out, but you know she hates to lie, and she’s just terrible at it. I couldn’t trust that she wouldn’t tell Mom and Dad we were coming, and I couldn’t risk not getting here.”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Emma said as they both took a seat, with Elsa coming next to Neal and exchanging their special handshake they’d formed a few years back at Neal’s insistence.

“It was time,” Neal said, like that was the most obvious thing in the world and both Emma and Elsa laughed at his assured statement.

“Yeah buddy, it was. Sorry I took so long,” Elsa said and Neal accepted her apology as they got to talking.

Elsa filled Neal and Emma in on all the happenings in Storybrooke. Most of it Emma already knew from her daily calls with Elsa and Anna, but Neal ate every update up completely. He asked roughly a million questions and Emma swore she hadn’t seen him this perked up in weeks, but eventually he did get tired again. It was natural that he would get weary as the day went on, and though he had to succumb and go to sleep, he pleaded with Elsa not to go without saying goodbye. Elsa promised, and when Neal was definitely out, Elsa turned to Emma with an expectant look.

“Okay, so you’ve had some time now. You have to tell me what’s going on.”

“You mean other than this?” Emma asked, waving her hand around the room. She didn’t need to say the words aloud. It was obvious that Neal’s illness was taking a toll, but Elsa looked persistent, and Emma knew once her friend was on a case, she never let it go without answers.

“Yes. Something happened. I know it did, I can feel it.”

Emma debated for another moment whether or not she should say anything but eventually she confessed it all to Elsa. She told her about the wolves and the fighting, about her fear and the calm that came thereafter. She didn’t leave any of it out, even the weirdest parts about not being afraid of the second wolf, and when it was all over Elsa didn’t look at her like she thought she was crazy or she was judging her. She just took Emma’s hand in hers and spoke her mind.

“Oh my God, that sounds terrifying. I can’t believe that happened and in the city no less.” Elsa whispered the words but her alarm made it louder than it should have been. Emma worried they would wake Neal, but another look at her little brother showed he was still soundly sleeping.

“But you believe me, right?” Emma asked, needing her friend to believe that she wasn’t as crazy as she felt.

“Of course I do, no question.” Elsa said without hesitation. “But that doesn’t mean I have any idea why it happened. It must have been just a freak thing, but you think someone else would have seen them. They didn’t just disappear.”

“You’re right, they couldn’t have,” Emma said, standing suddenly, feeling like she had to go back to the alley. It was the only way she’d be able to prove what had happened really took place, since there had to be evidence. The battle between the animals out there was brutal, so there must be a trace of something. “Stay here a minute. Okay?”

“Stay? But where are you going?” Realization dawned on Elsa’s eyes a second after she asked the question and she soon stood too. “No Emma, you shouldn’t go down there alone. You can’t. You need -,”

“Elsa, what I need is for you to stay with Neal, okay? I don’t want him to be alone. I promised him he wouldn’t be and I don’t know when my parents will be done with their meeting.”

“But Emma -,”

“Elsa, please?” Emma begged and finally Elsa nodded.

“Fine. I’ll give you five minutes, but if you aren’t back by then I’m coming after you. Got it?”

Emma agreed before bolting from the room. She moved as fast as she could without running, and she wasn’t sure if it was because she had an eerie feeling retracing her steps from last night or because she was so desperate for answers. Either way she was out in the alley way again in no time. Again it was empty, though now she could see everything so clearly and she took care to keep the door open so she wouldn’t get locked out again. Then she moved forward, her breathing heavy and her hands shaking as she entered the space that was once so charged.

From what she could tell nothing looked out of place. The ground was strangely clean. There was no gravel even, and Emma was confused. She knew there should be signs of damage, and there should be a body somewhere too, but when she looked around the corner of the dumpster there was nothing. No blood, no body, nothing out of place. Emma felt even more confused than she had before and a prickle of foreboding climbed up her back. She looked back towards the entrance way, but there was nothing, only the occasional person walking by, completely unaware of her existence.

Emma shook her head, at a loss for words. There was really nothing here. So it had to be a dream right? She’d just had an episode – a mental break people called it. God she was crazy! She was actually losing her mind and –

From the corner of her eye she caught a glimmer of something and she turned to look at it more closely. Stooping down to the ground, she reached for the metal object that was left here, and when her fingertips first made contact she felt a flash of something she couldn’t quite name. It was a white hot surge of awareness, and the only thing she had to compare it to was the moment when she’d first seen the black wolf. It was foreign and bizarre, but also intriguing, and as Emma flipped the pendant over, letting the chain attached fall loosely over her hand, she marveled at the design she found, knowing, even if all signs spoke to the contrary that this was a part of the puzzle currently playing out in her mind.

After a few moments of taking in this mysterious artifact, Emma headed back inside, knowing if she lingered any longer she would have Elsa to answer to, but when she arrived back at the doorway of Neal’s room she was surprised by what she saw: somehow, in the time she’d been gone Elsa and Neal’s roles had been reversed. Her brother, for his part looked wide-awake and totally reenergized, and Elsa seemed to have fallen asleep at his bedside. Emma immediately moved towards her checking she was all right, and her friend came awake with a start.

“Emma? Oh crap, did I fall asleep or something?”

“Yeah you did. You were out like a light. Must have been the early bus ride.”

“It must be,” Elsa said, sounding like she wasn’t quite convinced even though it was the most rational explanation. “Wow I have a headache – what do you think the chances are they have acetaminophen in a hospital?”

Emma laughed at Elsa’s joke, taking comfort in the fact that her friend was returning to herself. “I’d say pretty darn good.”

“What’s acid-o-mini-fin?” Neal asked curiously and Emma responded with a brief explanation causing Neal to wrinkle his nose. “Medicine? But you don’t need medicine Elsa. You need grilled cheese. Emma says everything can be cured with grilled cheese and she knows everything.”

It touched Emma to hear her brother’s high opinion of her, and she tried to fend off the tears that formed in her eyes at his sweet words. God, he was the best kind of kid, and he just had to pull through. Luckily, today he seemed to be doing so well, especially since Elsa had gotten here.

“Did someone say grilled cheese?”

The three of them turned to find her parents holding bags of food that Emma knew would hold their favorite meal inside them and she watched as their eyes grew big at seeing Elsa, but just as Emma expected their shock turned to love and appreciation swiftly. For as much as Emma was a part of Elsa and Anna’s family, Elsa and Anna were just as much a part of hers…

“Knock knock,” two familiar voices said from the doorway of the exam room and Emma turned to find her best friends bearing similar bags to the ones in the memory she’d just been reminiscing over. “Did someone order grilled cheese and onion rings?”

“Uh, no,” Emma answered honestly. “But if you brought them to me I’ll love you forever.”

“Oh you already love us,” Anna said with an eye roll before pointing down the hall towards the back door. “We were thinking picnic tables today, since it’s so nice out.”

“Well first we were thinking we’d ask if you were free for lunch,” Elsa said with a smirk. “But then Anna decided that you would forsake any plans for a grilled cheese.”

“Historically yes, that has been the case,” Emma replied with a laugh cleaning up a bit before following her friends out into the beautiful summer afternoon.

“I said we shouldn’t assume, especially with the way things are going with a certain new neighbor,” Elsa supplied, making Emma blush at the mention of Killian. She tried to conceal it by brushing off some of the stray leaves from atop the picnic table that her parents had put back here years ago.

“And then I told Elsa that it’s not an issue because there was no way you’d plan a real date without telling us first.”

“So all those breakfasts just don’t count?” Emma asked trying to sound like she was teasing and not fully affected by this conversation, and Anna shook her head firmly as she took a seat.

“No ma’am they do not. Until that man sweeps you off your feet with a romantic dinner or trip or something, I’m not counting it. Diner pancakes do not a love story make. You need a proper date.”

Emma wanted to respond that all of those mornings spent with Killian kind of did feel like the start of a love story. She felt the same nerves and excitement every time she and Killian had shared breakfast that people claimed to feel on a really good date, but approaching footsteps on the path here at the side of the clinic stopped her. Emma guessed it would be Gus with an update, or maybe Belle coming to join them or something, but when she saw their guest was Killian she was struck with an instant anticipation that made her almost dizzy.

“Well speak of the devil, and he shall appear,” Anna chortled with delight. “Not that I think you’re the devil,” she explained to Killian. “You seem very nice and not at all hellish or evil.”

Emma knew that Anna’s words, though radically out there and kind of wild, would be seen as no threat to Killian. He had a good sense of humor, and he seemed to understand her bestie’s tendency to turn a strange phrase now and again. But she still felt relief when she heard his throaty chuckle and saw the smile on his face. She’d been fighting back a groan, and she exhaled a sigh of contentment as she looked back at him, finding herself hypnotized by his ocean-colored eyes.

“I appreciate your assessment, Anna. I’ll have you know I see no devilish qualities in you either.”

“Really? Because I do,” Elsa replied, her joking tone making everyone laugh again as Emma awaited whatever moment was about to come.

“So, what brings you out this way?” Anna asked, clearly digging for the information Emma wanted and Killian only spared her a second’s glance before looking back to Emma.

“I’m actually hear to ask Emma on a ‘proper’ date if you can believe it.”

“You are?!” Anna asked excitedly as Emma asked a question of her own. “God, you heard that?”

“Yes I did, and yes I am. I had thought it would go a bit differently,” Killian confessed, and Emma knew he was referring to their audience. It occurred to her then that she wanted things to be different as well, and as much as she loved Anna and Elsa, she didn’t want this moment to come with so little privacy. So when Killian looked like he might press on and still ask her, she grabbed his hand and tried to turn things in a new direction.

“Maybe we could just…” she trailed off looking back at her friends. “Could you give us a second?”

“Absolutely,” Elsa said for both Anna and Elsa. But where Elsa looked totally fine with Emma and Killian leaving for a bit, Anna looked downright disappointed. In this moment she looked like a little girl again, and Emma found she had to muffle a laugh as she pulled Killian towards the door to the clinic, and back inside, away from prying eyes.

“Well this is an unexpected pleasure. I finally get to see where you work.”

“Oh, right,” Emma said, forgetting that he hadn’t been here before. Over the past week he’d become the focus of so much of her time and thinking that Emma weirdly felt like he’d always been here. “Do you want a tour?”

“Maybe another time, love. I’ve already crashed your lunch with your friends. Probably best to keep things brief or we may face repercussions.”

“Good call,” Emma agreed as she led him into his office and shut the door behind them.

When they were finally alone Emma felt her already present excitement amplify and she waited to see if he’d let go of her hand or get right to the point, but he didn’t. Instead he moved closer to her, his hands running over her body in that now so familiar way. In their wake they left trails of arousal and desire, and Emma arched slightly closer, looking for something to take off this edge of need that he brought her every time. She looked up at him, her eyes tracing the curve of his lips, and she wanted him to kiss her right now. She wet her lips just thinking about it, and she swore she felt a growl come from his chest at the action. But instead of giving in, he held back, his hand coming up to cup her cheek in a sweat and steady gesture.

“I came here today with the intention of asking you out, love.”

His confession was laced in a husky tone that told Emma Killian was similarly in need of some kind of release. She honestly didn’t know if kissing would be enough. She wanted so much more, it was like her body and her common sense had disengaged from each other. They were at the clinic where she worked, and though the door was closed any number of interruptions could come, but it didn’t seem to matter to Emma. She still wanted more… only after a moment did she realize he was waiting for her to respond and she swallowed harshly, forcing the words out though her throat was tight with her emotion.

“So I gathered. Are you still planning to?” she asked, as her hands trailed lightly over his chest.

“I know I should, but I don’t think I can,” he said, surprising her, but before she could feel the sting of rejection he clarified. “I don’t think I can risk you saying no. I’m tempted just to tell you that we are going out, because I want you too much.”

“I won’t say no,” Emma promised, trying but failing to suppress the thrill of his words. They were dominant and demanding, but Emma knew he would never wield that power against her.  Killian was a man who took what he wanted, but he also respected her, cherished her even, and all his admission did was stoke the flames more and more.

“Thank God for that. So tonight then?”

“I’m off here at six. Pick me up at seven?”

“Aye, love. Nothing could keep me away.”

With that agreement settled between them, Emma arguably could have moved to return to her lunch. Her friends were waiting on her and she only had so long for a break before she had to return to her duties of the day. Yet she couldn’t let Killian go without taking some of what she wanted. She pulled him in for a kiss, but where she might have instigated the embrace, Killian soon took over. It was hot and heavy and full of inexplicable promise, and Emma wasn’t too proud to admit that she lost her head a little bit. Killian transported her out of time and space, and he made her forget herself and where they were until he finally let her go, reminding her that though they had to stop for now, there was always tonight.

“I don’t know if I can wait that long,” Emma confessed, knowing she should be embarrassed by saying that but she couldn’t seem to muster that emotion. She was too blissed out on good feelings to let anything bad in.

“It will be a trial for sure, but I believe you capable of anything, Emma, once you set your mind to it.”

The compliment washed over Emma and she brought him in for one last kiss. This one was fleeting and swift, but she couldn’t help herself, and from the gleam in his eyes, Emma knew Killian felt the same way. Without any more words he offered her his hand to lead her back outside, but when they left the office door, they were greeted by an unexpected face in the hallway.

“Emma?”

Shit! Her Dad was here. Shit! Shit! Shit!

“Uh… hi Dad,” she said awkwardly. “I thought you were out on a call.”

Emma didn’t know what to do here and she looked at Killian for some kind of reaction. The only thing she saw in his expression was openness. He was looking for her to lead and he cemented that by squeezing her hand slightly. Only then did she realize they were still holding hands, but as she looked to her father, she saw he had definitely noticed. Instinctively Emma let go, but she felt the loss the moment that she did, and she found herself regretting that decision.

“I was, but it didn’t end up being the emergency they thought.” Her Dad looked over to Killian for a minute, clearly sizing him up, and Emma repressed the urge to groan at how blatantly over protective he was being.

“Doctor Nolan, I’m Killian Jones. It’s nice to meet you, finally.” Killian offered his hand in greeting, and though Emma was scared her Dad wouldn’t accept it, he immediately did. Thank God – Emma didn’t know what she’d do if there was a scene right now. She was mortified enough as is.

“You too. I’ve heard a lot about you and I suspect we’ll have to have a talk at some point about your intentions.”

Okay, now Emma was really embarrassed. Killian had literally just asked her on a date and her Dad was pulling this? It was way too early for talks like that, right? It wasn’t fair to pressure Killian into anything. There was a good chance the date wouldn’t go well, or maybe Killian would change his mind. But just the thought of either of those things happening made Emma’s stomach sink painfully.

“Aye, I’m not going anywhere, sir, so I look forward to it.”

It was hard to mute her reaction to those words, but Emma tried her best. They filled her with this insurmountable hope, because she knew Killian was a good man. If he said he was staying he was staying, and if he said he’d someday subject himself to that talk with her Dad then that meant he really say a future for them. Thank goodness for that, because with every passing day Emma felt herself falling deeper and deeper into this and into him. Killian Jones was impossible to resist, and he proved that by being a rock and support for her even in this trying moment.

“All right, well now that you two have got that all figured out… I’m going to see Killian off and get back to my lunch. I’ll see you in thirty minutes?” she asked her Dad nodded before saying good bye to Killian and heading into the exam room. With that, Emma led Killian out the door once more.

“I’m so sorry about that. If I had known my Dad would be here…”

“It’s more than okay, Emma. I was glad to meet him. I imagine we’ll be seeing more of each other in the near future.”

“But we haven’t even had the first date yet,” Emma said with a smirk. “What if it goes terribly?”

“Will you be there?” Killian asked and Emma nodded, not tracking his logic until he spelled it out for her. “Then by definition it will be perfect.”

Emma felt herself melt a little more at his promise, and as he said his goodbyes she was tempted to go after him, but she had already made her friends wait too long. It hadn’t been any more than ten minutes or so, but still, they deserved her full attention, or at least as much of it as she could give.

“So… how did it go?” Anna asked innocently. Emma blushed and her friends both drew their conclusions immediately. “That good huh?”

“Oh yeah. He asked me out for tonight, and it was going really, really well, at least until we ran into my father.”

“Your Dad is here?!” both Anna and Elsa yelled and Emma nodded.  “God this just keeps getting better.”

“He’s going to want to talk about it,” Emma said, not knowing how to handle it if her father did ask her about Killian.

“Of course he is,” Elsa agreed. “But it’s going to be okay either way. Your Dad is a reasonable man over all. Just tell him what you want when you want, and remember, the day has to end eventually.”

And when it does, I’ll get to see Killian again, Emma thought to herself, feeling the rush of excitement and nerves all over again. And as the day went on, Emma held close to that anchor of excitement, wondering where they night might take them and what kind of magic a date with this man would bring to her world.

Post-Note: I cannot even tell you guys how excited I am for the date chapter. It’s been something I have been looking forward to for a while for a number of reasons, one of which being that the flashback is actually a happy one. Can you imagine?! Yes, you read that right, next chapter is basically a fluff fest, and it will be here in two weeks. Anyway I hope you enjoyed the story and I would love to know what you guys thought. Underneath the flashbacks and the present story, I’m putting in little crumbs of what’s to come, and they might be really obvious to you guys but as someone who never writes stories with any kind of twist or anything, it’s a big deal for me. Hope to see you all again in two weeks!

Tag list (if you would like to be added, please let me know): @jennjenn615 @winterbaby89 @kmomof4 @teamhook @ultraluckycatnd @coliferoncer @resident-of-storybrooke @artistic-writer @snowbellewells @snarkycaptainswan4 @allofdafandoms-blog @eastside-divebar

[coldtomyflash]

Hi there, I thoroughly enjoy and admire your writing! :) Since you sometimes mention in your author's notes how the rest of a fic is already mostly outlined, would you like to share some more insights into your writing and outlining process? E.g. What do your outlines usually look like, what level of detail are they, do you outline oneshots differently than multi-chapter stories? Did your writing process change over time? Do you outline whole stories before writing or just a few chapters ahead?

Hi there!

I’ve got a tag for writing advice that I think addresses a bit of my writing process, if you want more insight. I’m happy to talk about here at a broad level, and if you have any more specific questions, feel free to poke me here or at my new blog @phyn-writes for details.

Now on to your actual question, about outlining. This is going to sound convoluted, but I’ll try to keep it coherent. There is a tl;dr at the end though, because this got long as hell.

Broadly speaking, I have a few different ways of outlining. 

For really short pieces, I don’t do any conscious outlining at all. I just sort of start and go, and see where it lands. With fanfic that tends to be easy? Drabbles and one-shots are short and scenes end up with a natural conclusion. I stop as soon as the ‘end’ feels right. With a smut scene that tends to be an obvious place - the characters do their thing, get off, and then flirt or there’s some establishment for what this means for them and where things are going next, and then it’s over. For not smut pieces, it’s similar in that there’s a central tension, and as soon as it’s resolved, I like to figure out the final emotional beat the piece should leave on and cut it there.

(Endings establish a lasting emotion. You can intuit as you go through a piece what the ending should feel like and what you’re building toward. It shouldn’t create a sense of whiplash for the reader, though it can be abrupt or sad if that fits the tone of the piece).

But let’s talk about longer stories. And let’s talk first about the beginning/opening original outline.

Outlining for longer pieces sometimes starts by following the same logic as one-shots and drabbles – that is, no outline at all. This is true for a few of my longer works, like Seventy-Three Seconds and These Violent Delights. With those works, I just jumped in. I didn’t have an outline in mind at the start, I just let my fingers type out words and it just sort of unravelled into the opening of a story, with a conflict built in that would have to be solved.

I say this only to highlight the fact that if you don’t have a full story idea in mind when you start - that’s okay. You can still start. It’s alright to jump in, if that’s what you need to do, and if outlining is causing you grief and getting in the way of just getting words out.

Because even when I start with no outline, and no real concept of where I’m going, I automatically end up with an outline quickly. This is probably the case for most people. And for most of my longer workers (AATJS, Tumbling Together, Melancholic Temperate, and Needs Must), I do start with an outline, one that looks similar to what the other stories’ outlines end up as.

And what that “outline” looks like, when I start, is just ideas in my head. Sometimes jot notes or conversations I’ve had with others about story ideas that I saved, but really, there’s no solid “A will happen, then B will happen, then C will happen” flow the way you might have an outline for an essay for school. There’s definitely never ever a “chapter 1 will have X, chapter 2 will have Y” right at the outset.

Instead of a concrete series of events, what there is is a series of what I call “milestones”. These milestones are scenes I imagine in vivid detail that I want to see happen in the story. A lot of these scenes come up earlier on in the story, but not always. And my original “outline” for a story involves basically these scenes connected by a string. I know the story will have to bridge the gaps between them, but I’m not fussed, I just know that I want the story to head in the direction to make them happen.

After I’ve got the milestones, I start to fill in the blanks. How do we get from A to B? I can do this mentally, or in writing. I don’t stress early on in the narrative about outlining the chapters, I just sort of let them write themselves and see what comes out, knowing that I have a specific scene or milestone that I’m building toward and all the words on the page are explicitly or implicitly working toward that scene. 

And then I get to that scene and - sometimes it happens exactly like I planned. And sometimes I have to completely change it because the narrative changes once you put it on the page and that scene no longer works the way you planned.

And when I talk about outlines changing, that’s a big part of what I mean: that in the process of building toward what I had planned, something has changed, and my plan no longer feels authentic to the narrative. And when that happens, I change the narrative. It’s that whole idea of “kill your darlings”. I might’ve already written out that milestone scene (more than once, if I really like it) but that doesn’t mean it actually works with the story I’m trying to tell. And liking that scene doesn’t mean that scene likes itself. 

And so the outline updates. And writing becomes this beautiful iteration of imagining scenes and milestones for the narrative, filling them in and the blanks between, then editing and updating and changing it because it’s necessary, as the story has grown beyond what’s in my head.

As to how I decide what to change? Well, most of everything I write is in the service of the characters. They guide their stories. They have to be consistent in some manner within their core selves, and if they’re not then I’m doing something wrong. I write for and about people. With that in mind, when I hit a roadblock and realize something doesn’t work, I ask myself what would/should the characters be doing in this situation. I ask myself if there’s enough tension, enough release of that tension. 

And I work hard - and I mean well and truly - I spend a lot of my outlining energy on narrative build. I only discovered this past year that not everyone learns about this in grade school, but narratives tend to follow this standard form, which apparently is called ‘dramatic structure’, and I use it strongly in my story scaffolds:

Exposition / Setting / Introduction 

Initial incident (introduce the conflict and characters)

Rising action (build tension into the story)

Climax (highest point of narrative tension)

Falling action

Resolution

I adhere to that like it’s my writing bible when it comes to how I set up a story. Except with fic, I get to skip the vast majority of the exposition and setting when it comes to introducing the characters. Which suits me well - I really like jumping right in. And even when I do have an AU or exposition to bring in, I still aim to jump kind of straight to the initial incident then give exposition throughout. I like to open with a ‘hook’.

But anyway, when “outlining”, I have to have some idea, even if I don’t put it into words, of what the climax of the story is. Everything else in some way needs to be in service of that. All the tension and release and everything else needs to build, ultimately, to that moment, where the conflict is resolved and it all clicks. Then I speed through the falling action and resolution quick because after the climactic moment of any given story, my own personal attention wanes with it (when I’m reading, I mean). After things are resolved at the climax, you know it’s just housekeeping, so if the falling action drags on and on and on, why would I bother continuing to read? I know they get to have a happily ever after (or whatever the case is) so this doesn’t matter except to give me a bit of closure. 

So when my outlines change, it’s partly because I’m fucking up something to do with this dramatic structure. I’ll realize that I’m resolving a major aspect of the conflict too soon, and have to turn it into a more minor release of tension. Or I’ll realize that I have a scene planned for later in the story but if I keep it where it is, it’ll be after the main conflict is resolved. It might be the resolution of a more minor conflict, but at that point, something is out of order. For me, personally, I don’t like to leave too much to mop up after that climactic moment, and I don’t want to have other semi-serious conflicts left that are going to be creating any real amount of tension in the reader still.

Final notes before I get to some examples: I have a strong tendency for my stories to unfold in three clear acts. Almost all of them can be separated that way (though Tumbling Together is a little meandering and doesn’t fit quite so well, but that’s half because the conflict of that story changes about halfway through in a weird way…). And each act tends to have it’s own minor conflict and resolution, to help give the readers a build and lift to buoy them through the story to the major moment of climax. And though those aren’t explicitly part of the outline in a conscious way, I have outlined my more complicated stories as being in three acts before to help me figure out where to place scenes and how to have things build.

Now, to bring some of this down to earth in a more concrete way, I’m gonna use some examples of how I outlined different fics.

I’ll start by talking about AATJS, which had the most outlining I’ve ever done. In that story, Len and Barry are soulmates and it creates a massive clusterfuck lasting 275k words. I had hashed out the story idea/outline with a friend as a quick conversation, and the basics of it were them bonding and Barry panicking about it, Barry avoiding Len and hiding his bond, and Len doing increasingly vexing shit to more or less get his attention, the military getting involved and kidnapping (and torturing) Len because of his connection to Barry. 

Those were like, the basics. And led to a few especially vivid mental milestones for me in the early stages of writing: Barry panicking after bonding was very vivid and narratively essential, a scene where Len gets in a bar fight and gets his knuckles cut up and bruised and Barry goes to comfort him about it, even though they’re not on good terms, but it creates some softness between them, a scene where Len steals something halfway to get Barry’s attention and Barry is really pissed at him for it, and a scene where Len’s tied to a chair being interrogated by Eiling, and his bond with Barry is being used against him.

If you’ve read the fic, you might recognize that not all those scenes happened, and didn’t all happen like that. What did happen is that I had to answer the question of “how does Len see Barry’s soulmate mark and thus bond with him?” and the answer was that he’d have to fight alongside Barry to be in a situation where he sees it, and the obvious answer to kick Barry’s ass and also tie the narrative to the military was Grodd, so I just kind of threw Grodd into the story without thinking. 

And then things built with Barry hiding the bond from his family and friends, and I needed to introduce more shit going on on Len’s side as he’s kind of spiralling, and other Rogues accidentally wrote themselves into the plot. And Len does steal something which pisses off Barry, but instead of being to get his attention, he does it with Mark Mardon and completely different motivations. And the fallout from that created a whole different mess for me to solve. And shortly after I started working on the fic, a new milestone presented itself as necessary: the moment where Barry and Len actually come together, and start being honest with each other, which is a really poignant scene where Barry basically offers himself to Len because they’re both suffering in this toxic way, and they realize a lot about each other and realize how much they each care about the other. And it was pivotal for the narrative, but built itself into the outline only after I began to work on the story.

And things changed and updated from there, all leading to a central climactic moment that combined the main and sub storylines into a single moment of resolution. The main storyline was Barry and Len’s romance, with a key conflict being their ability to be together authentically and in a solid, forever kind of way, because even though they’re soulmates, Barry has this hesitation through the whole story that evolves into not being able to say he’s in love with Len. And the subplot of the story (or one of them) revolves around the military, and Grodd, and it creates so much conflict throughout the story that I realized eventually that I couldn’t resolve it before (or after) resolving the other, that both of these narratives had to be resolved simultaneously. And every edit in the outline from then on was about making sure the story was building in a direction of resolving these tensions at once.

Okay, whew. This post is getting long.

Final bits - with Melancholic Temperament, my outline consisted of a couple of milestones scenes, and with a basic structure / scaffold in place. I wanted the first 2/3 of the story to involve de-aged Len, and the final 1/3 to involve grown up Len, and I had a few pivotal scenes in mind (young!Len misreading Barry’s intentions and propositioning him, adult!Len at the moment of re-aging) when I started, and most of the in-between outline was like “here’s the villain. Is she really a villain? Let’s explore that later. Also do young Len and Barry get together? It adds to the conflict and tension, let’s build to that. We need scenes where they get closer, and have this poignant kind of connection, possibly with Len having nightmares or with midnight conversations”. 

Some stuff wasn’t in the outline at all, like Mick just hijacked the plot and wrote himself into the story and I was like “huh, okay, hi Mick, what are you doing here?” but I didn’t let it change the ultimate narrative.

 With Needs Must, things have been bizarre in terms of outlining. Originally, the story was just an idea in my head that I never planned to write and it was just coldflash. I had some milestone scenes in mind, a lot because the fic was rolling around in my head for a long time (the first time they get together, the second when they realize it’s not cured and the sense of dread that sneaks into the narrative, a scene at some point in the story where Barry was going to go too far and Len was going to freak out, and Barry was going to back off and this was going to lead to them having to shift gears). 

But a lot wasn’t in the original outline in my head, and was only added once I switched to coldwestallen and started writing. Like the villain? Wasn’t in the original, and in the first version, was an actual villain. Kat in the current version is contrite and out of her depth and while not innocent of wrong doing, never intended for this to happen. But as soon as I pivoted to coldwestallen, a really important milestone the narrative (and thus outline) had to build toward was the moment at which they realize what’s going on with the ‘curse’.

And in terms of dramatic structure, I also had to make sure that moment didn’t feel like a resolution. Normally that would be the climax of a story, or come shortly before it: catch the villain, find out how to fix things, then fix them. But this story is a bit different, and the central conflict has never been the sex curse (though it’s tied up in it), it’s about these three characters falling in love. And the story can’t be done, and the tension can’t be released, until that happens.

So I used that scene to up the ante rather than letting it release the tension. And because it needed to go that way, if the real underlying conflict is these three people falling in love, then the curse itself had to lead them there and be resolved by that. I didn’t decide the curse was about falling in love until I decided that the story was going to be all three of them, and until I realized that I wanted a scene where the truth is revealed to them but doesn’t fix a damn thing and only makes it potentially worse.

And then there are a bunch of other outline changes within it. That scene where Mick finds out about the curse? There was a long debate about whether to keep or kill that entire piece, or move it in the story, and deciding what purpose it serves to the overall conflict and resolution. It almost replaced the potion Barry drinks, because I almost shortened the story by a good deal, but ultimately decided I wanted to extend the narrative and let it build a little slower so that Iris has more time in the narrative.

And Iris and Len slowly orbiting and falling into each other was originally only going to happen as / after the curse was broken. But then I realized, back to that dramatic structure, that if the central tension of the story comes from Barry’s ability to love Len, I had to move Len and Iris up. The conflict was originally going to be more about them being able to be together and getting together, but because of how the story naturally wrote itself (with the love as the central conflict moment), it started to feel unnatural if I were to resolve the curse and still have a chunk of the story and a conflict left afterward. In the original outline it would’ve been a whole act (act three) but the story wasn’t writing itself that way and I had to tie Iris and Len into the build up to the narrative climax that exists in the actual story, rather than the one in a bygone outline. And thus the current version of events in the story has unfolded.

So - major tl;dr here. 

My outlines more or less consist of knowing what the central tension or conflict of a story is (which sometimes changes a bit as it goes) and making sure everything else works in the service of building to the moment that’s resolved, then being able to wrap up really quickly afterwards with no major sources of tension left over. I pick scenes as narrative ‘milestones’ that act as a scaffold or guide for the rest of the story, and these scenes can change the but idea in them, of tension or of conflict, of what they accomplish for the broader narrative, tends to stay the same.

Sometimes I write down a formal outline, sometimes it’s just in my head, but it always evolves in iterations as the narrative unfolds and everything in it acts in service of a satisfying climax and moment of resolution.